Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-12-15
Toa-rabie Tank.

tdI de Tue IcSulJ ol Tue piJCn Vi ulS
vessel. -Binghamton Leader.
IT may be that some people enjoy
chess because 1t is Necessarily a
square" game. Washington Star.
: TIE precoclous hopeful does not
consider himself up to snuff until he
gets down to tobacco. Dallas News.
WHEN a rifle explodes the fault
may be in the breech, though 1t Is
charged to the muzzle. Boston
Courier. a#
MILLIONAIRE LADY (who has just
bought a villa)-"Now, Jane, go out
in the barn and see that the hens lay
eggs for breakfast. "-Siftings.
SHE-~Did you see anything in
New York that reminded you OF
Philadelphia" He-"Yes; the mes
senger boys. Brooklyn Life.
A Poor JUDGE.-Mr. Newwed--
%Um! seems to me, my angel, this
hash has a queer taste" Young Wife
Hash? That's fruit cake. New
York Weekly. IS
WHEN ones wife follows him out to
the hatrack with her hand on his
shoulder he inquiries involuntary:
"How much do you want, my dear?"
Dallas News.
A CURIOUS circumstance about
organ-grinding music is that the
more it's ground with the same in
strument the less fine it becomes.
Philadelphia Press. ~
WILL'AM-"F Father, what becomes
of the Crows during the winter sea-
SOM" Father-"I Lave been told
they go South to look after the lost
caws. "-Rochester Democrat.
"YoU'RE the s'eep est-looking indi-
vidual l ever saw" said Dick to the
seedy man on the corner. "Yes, even
my coat hasn't had nap in some
time" quoth Le.-Bost n Post
FRANK-"Tll never forget that
Jolly dinner at the club Jim gave us
before he wasmarried. Tom-~You
won't, Ell! Why, you forgot all about
it. before the dinner was over Life.
LITTLE BoY-@Don't Quakers ever
fight?" Mamma-~No, my dear"
Little Boy (after refection) IL
should think il would be awful hard
for real big Quaker to be Quaker
Good News.
Il THINK TN have an oil portrait
made" said Mr.. Derrick, who had be-
come suddenly rich in petroleum.
There you go talking shop again."
exclaimed his wife, who was taking
lessons i'm culture.-Puck.
THE EASIEST WAY.-Clerk-
can call him up on that telephone, if
you wish TO talk to him." Stranger
--"How far is he from here?P Clerk
About ten miles" Stranger
swell, I'd rather walk. Puck.
THE REToRT COURTEOUS. -A-"It
seems to me that your ears are get
ting bigger and bigger every day"
B-"Let me tell you something. My
ears and your brain would make a
first-rate donkey. Siftings
BoY-Pop, kin l go to tn circus?
Pop-Circuses is wicked. Boy-The
man gave me two tickets fer carryin'
water for the horses. Pop-Um. A
man volts as charitable as that can't
be very bad. Well both go.-Good
News.
No NEED FOR HURRY. Miss Hast
ings (overtaking Miss Slowboy' on the
way to church)-"Hurry, Tillie, or
you'll be late" Miss Slowboy-
There is no hurry, dear. Let me in
troduce Mr.. Bellows, our organist. -
Puck.
A CRUEL INsINUATIoN. - Miss
Bondclipper-"Bridget, some OF my
jewelry is missng" Bridget (who
reads the papers)-"Sure, mum, you
will not be intimating that it's n
member of the English aristocracy
that OF am. Texas Siftings.
Ar THE INTELLIGENCE OFFICE
Mrs. Hunter-"I want good girl,
and possibly you might do. Have
you had any experiences" Domestic
Importation = "Ixparience is it?
Faith, and haven't Oi been in no less
than twinty families within amonth!"
Boston Transcript.
WHAT He OBJECTED To. Mr..
Shortweight dealer in coaD-I want
you to settle for that ton of coal you
got few days ago. A man has to
pay for what he gets in this world.
Customer-Yon are right, sir. And
when he buys coal he has to pay for
lot he doesn't get. II Brooklyn Life.
MEANS OF SELF-DEsTRUCTIoN.-
Morbyd (members of the Suicide
Club)-"I have selected sUrycbnine."
Gluemy another member)- 1 have
decided to use parallel. "A par
allel? What's that" II don't
know, but it's fatal. The ncwspa-
pers are always speaking of the
deadly parallel. Puck.
A SEVERE TEST. -Stranger-Call
your paper great advertising me-
dunn, do you? 1t isn't worth shucks.
l put in an advertisement last week
and didn't get an answer, not one
EditOr-My! my! How was your adj
vertisement worded? Stranger-@A
poor young man wants pretty wife
who can do her own hOusework. -
New York Weekly.
BULKINs was very pious, very fond
OF the ladies, and very bald on the
back of his head. The other even
ing he was calling on girl, and was
giving her considerable church talk.
"Ah, Miss Mary" he said, I'VE are
watched over very carefully. Even
the hairs OF our heads are num-
bered.P Eyes, Mr. Bulkins," she re-
nlipd ahut cofnp NJ tho haclr mum