Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1892-03-18
A MECHANICAL WONDER.

the sort He thought that we arc
slowly but surely rising to better and
nooier things, and Spilkins believed
In Keeping up with the times
Some time ago a man was around
taking orders for new kind OF chair
called the Mechanical Wonder, and, OF
eour-e, he called upon Mr.. Spilkins
This was indeed the wonder OF the
world. the man said, and lis invention
indicated the approach of a golden
millennium. He declared most posi-
lively that the chair was destined To
revolutionize the whole domestic econ.
omy OF the civilized world.
IL was indeed wonder in its wav
Tor 1t was such vast and complicated
mass OF springs, pulleys, clock-worl,
ana extensions that it was almost the
labor OF lifetime to learn to 10
1t with any fair degree OF success. The
concern was SO big and heavy that II
had to be taken to pieces and carried
through an ordinary doorway, sec.
ton at time, and the price of it was
the snug little sum OF $50; but this
made not particle OF difference
Spilkins signed the order book.
A few weeks later the Mechanical
wonder arrived, and after a hard half
uays work On the part OF both aoent
and purchaser the new machine was
SET up In the little back parlor; then
the salesman took his departure. A
proud and happy man was Mr.. SPILL
kins. p-'
The new chair took up about half
or the available space in the tinv
apartment FOR it was q full-grown
and able bodied chair not one of these
dlminutive affairs too small for anv
one but little child TO sit down in.
Inc centre-tab'e was crowded back
into corner the stove had to be set
back. the bookcase was tipped over
and pushed under the piano and oll
the other chairs except one or Two
were banished to the attic. But nIl
this signifies nothing. Wasn't tho
chair Mechanical Woaderp
Accompanying it was book of d.
rections about as big as double num-
Der library, and this the happy Mr.
Spilkins began to study tho moment
the door closed upon the man who set
up the vast machine of manifold nse-
fulness. At last he venturel TO seat
himself in the continuance, and toucbed
q spring.
Slowly and noiselessly the pullevs
revolved, and the chair gently ex.
tended itself into couch as soft and
inviting as the downiest feather.bo
Pressing another spring arrested it's
motion, and yet another caused II IN
resume its former position and appear
nnce Spilkins was delighted. Tho
new chair was a wonder indeed.
Come and try it. my dear ~" said
he to his wife with good deal of
satisfaction. Il never saw ANYTHING
IKE It, and l shall never rest easy Till
have mastered all its many secrets
How did we ever keep house as long
IS we have without a Mechanical
WonderP"
OF course Mrs. Spilkins was willino
enough to try the new chair so she
seated herself in it without a particle
u objection. She had all the curiosi.
y OF Mother Eve located somewhere
loout her handsome yet ample propor.
ions. Mrs. S. could scarcely be calle3
dwarf without some impropriety.
See. Julia. " Spilkins went on ~
ust touch this spring and the chair
lowly and tenderly adjusts itself into
he best of beds" And the Mechani.
'al Wonder did just as he said.
Then l touch this other one and IL
becomes firm and rigid in u horizontal
position" he continued; and the chair
lid so.
Next | press this little button and
resumes its upright position, " said
ir' Spilkins, and as he said, so he
lid-but the chair didn't.
lie must have pressed the wronp
'utton' for most startling and unex.
'ected event took place. The otto.
nan end OF the wonder flew I'D and
ook Spilkins under the chin with q
iolence that nearly dislocated hi,
aw' and did knock him heels over
ead behind the stove. while the head |
ndof the concern thumped the floor
ikea pile-driver. The whole house
hook with the conclusion, for tho |
hair itself weighed five hundred and |
orty pounds and Mrs. Spillkins was no
airy
When Spilkins arose with sheenisb
ace ana an aching jaw terrible
light met his eyes. The wife of his
osom was very nearly the opposite
nd up from what nature intended her
, be; and she couldn't very well
hange her position because she had
ccidontly fired off the book. rest
arrangement and snapped it hard and
lst into position among her five and
nan Feet She was about as firmly
'stened as If she had been made in
here.
Spilkins made another attempt tn
nd the right button. but he ONLY
rought the lampstand down into his
lies stomach with a force that near.
smashed her whalebones and made
err grunt like an overfed hog. Spil.
ms got ratified.
He yanked and pulled and twisted
Ut he only made matters worse with
'ery trial. First the lap-board
pped around and banged him with n
sounding whack Then the door IN
10 chest of drawers flew open and
seled the skin off Mrs. Spilkins' nose
II several inches
She gave a desperate flourish of her
lie kickable foot that knocked the
riting desk attachment to smither-
ms. while the ink from its broken
title trickled serenely up the wiggl-
g agentaof its destruction. As she
1t that small but industrious stream
eandering her person. Mrs. S. grew
,cited and called Spilkius several de-
1adlu ,,noo,,,,1;.w.--.-