Los Angeles herald., 1892-01-24
ALMOST suRIeo IN clNoERs.
he Won the Bet. Got Fearfuily Dirty
bat Didn't Get the Money After All.

he Won the Bet. Got rearfully Dirty.
bat Didn't Get the Money After All.
He stood in the Grand Central station
tanning himself with his hat, and the
cinders on his bald head looked like pep
per on hard boiled egg. Every square
inch of his short fat person was begrimed
and dirty.
"'S'pose look like Digger Indian
Just dug" he remarked, putting his head
into the window at the bureau of infor-
nation, and letting his imitation leather
valise drop on the floor with a thud.
"Oh, well little jagged. perhaps" re-
spondee the clerk politely.
mo jag around me-" said the dirty
tourist Indignantly. 81 only got in ten
minutes ago."
'So2"
Eyes. Haven't washed sence we left
Council Bluffs. Would you believe it?'
'sOh, yes"
"We had gay time,. ] tell yer"
'.Hows that?' inquired the clerk.
"Well, you see, feller from South
Dakota opened the winder just in front
of me while after we had started and
the cinders come in like it was hail
storm. | didn't want to pear disobligin,
SO l stood it fer three hours, and then l
leaned over to the South Dakota feller,
and says /, Little dusty, amt itY 'Meb-
be- says he. Would you mind shuttin
down that winder fer spell? says |, as
perlite as you please. i find it very
annoyin.' I would mind says he, and
if can stand it, I'll bet you cam We'll,
if it's a bet, you say says l, I'm in it. I
don't let no South Dakota feller bluff
me. I'll bet you fifty dollars, even
money, you'll weaken on that open win
der before do
HE looked surprised, but he says, Its
60
"We put up the money with the con-
ductor, and he snuggled up to his winder
and | behind, takin the dust sorter sec
ond hand. At the end of the first twenty
four hours we wasn't purity fer cent,
and I seed the other feller was squirmin
a good deal. So when the train stopped
fer dinner sneaked out to the engineer
and gave him my last ten dollar bill, and
says / winkin. When you start up the
engine it'll be a pertickler favor to me
if you won't screen back them cinders;
let 'em flicker for two or three hours;
just buzz out every cinder you've got
"'My coal,' says he, winkin back, is
terrible soft and muddy today
"Well. sir, the next three hours was
awful. | never seed such smoke and
coal dust anywhere. The way that en-
gine snorted and blowed and them Gin
ders ratified and pattered most scared the
passengers off the train. 1t actually
seemed as though the screen business
had busted clean out of the s,nokestack
and let the coal blow through in chunks.
The dirt was SO thick on my face YOU
could have wrote my name in it, but
that feller from South Dakota he caught
them cinders right in the neck. He was
almost buried. There was cinders in
his hair, cinders in his mustache; they
worked down inside his collar; into his
vest pockets. And when he started to
brace up OH chew blamed if he didn't
bite moro cinders than tobacher. About
then it came up to rain, and for an hour
that feller from South Dakota locked
like he was dredged up from a mud
pond. When the rain stopped and he
was wipin down the mud, along come
red hot cinder as big as pea and lit on
his beard. The brakeman helped him
put out the fire, but just then the train
stopped and that feller riz up and says
he, 1 weaken, take the cash. and he
walked right off the train. Then all the
passengers congratulated me. They
said was dirty, but game"
$50 you got the money!" inquired the
clerk with some interest.
''Well that's the trouble" rejoined the
dirty traveller. "While was fxin the
engineer blamed if that onery cuss
wasn't goin me one better and fxin the
conductor, and they froze to the cash
and skipped together. The trouble with
me is" added the grimy traveller, gazing
out pensively at the Forty street
hackmen, "that I'm too honorable and
confdin, always been SO. Say" he added
in whisper, poking his dirty head in
the window, gimme quarter fer a
wash, will yer?'-New York Tribune.
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Caught.