Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-07-02
TALKS To MOTHERS.
The Evil Effects OF Cuitivating n Chiid,.
VIII.

Inc Evil Effects OF CultiyRting n Chfld's
VIII.
Written for The Evening Star by Olive Thorne Miller
sST(ABY WANT To GO oUT2" SAYS THE
- unthinking mother as she puts on the
out-of-door wraps OF her child. Baby want
nice drink Of milk" she holds the cup to his
lips. Baby want this or that. she continually
asks, a. she ministers to his needs.
IL is done, Of course, without thought but il
indicates a blindness to consequences that is
truly marvellous. What she is really doing is
cultiyating his will sowing the wind b reap
whirlwind indeed. A baby naturally accepts
what is given TO him and goes where b. is car
ried without thought of protest. But after
little training of this sort, this constant sug-
gestion that he may have opinion produces
one in his mind. Sooner than one would
imagine he begins TO think whether he wants to
go or come and from that 20 express wishes be
fore he can speak by shriels and slaps and
various other WAYS familiar 10 the nursery DO
not say he is too Young: We see such children
every day: screaming when put into or taken
out Of their carriage. and ANNOYING q whole
neighborhood by outcries because they want 90
be carried instead OF riding. TO go this way
instead of that. We have all seen these little
monsters Of tender wears. utterly beyond con-
troll and terror TO all who know them; We call
them-with reason-''spoiled children"
BAD TEMPER INCREASED BY INDULGENCE.
Besides the irreparable harm TO q childs
temper, and in consequence TO his whole char-
acter, caused by this premature will develop-
ment, there 10 his physical health 10 he con-
sidered. We all know that a mothers fit Of
anger will make her baby i'll, how much worse
must be the effect on his delicate organization
of fit of anger in the baby himself Moreo~er,
tempers, as well rs other bad things. grow bv
indulgence. and what is merely pitiful in the
child becomes dangerous in the man-tle
fruitful cause of disaster and crime.
The mother who has let her child get beyond
her control almost inevitably resorts to IMAM
agement TO render life tolerable in the house
with him. Managing is done by promises or
by threats. IF you'll be good and do not cry
mamma II bring You something NICE" il per-
haps the most common promise. The child be-
heyes. for natural faith in q mothers truthful
ness is hard TO eradicate. He is good. perhsps,
and she leaves him.
FORGETTING PROMISES.
Now the mother is exceedingly apt to forcut
her promise, given without much thought, juss
as she might give sugarplum TO keep him quiee
moment, and here creeps in another dangens
He claims his reward the moment he sees her.
She ought-of coure-at whatever sacrifice.
secure something to Keep her word; at the very
least she should explain seriously that she for
got but is sorry. He will be disappointed, bus
he will credit her with forgetfulness only
But what does the mother do in most cases?
She looks upon it carelessly a matter Of no
importance, and says: 30, well. never mind
Ill bring you two next time" To child
next time" is the same never and there
follows the dreadful sight Of a child in fearful
temper, carried off screaming, possibly whip
ped, protesting-poor, outraged little soul
ZION promised you promised! you said you
wouldi'
THREATS
are, il possible, worse when, as is usual. they
are not scrupulously carried out. Even IL they
are mild. as a threat to deprive him OF some
thing il he does SO and so, they are bad enough;
but what shall be said OF the mother who delib-
erately threatens what she knows she wall not
dc! IF you don't stop that instantly I'll take
your head of ~ once heard from the lips Of
a refined. lady-like looking woman on her own
doorsteps as passed her house. Did the bow
of six stop playing in the gutter and run for
his lifeI By no means; he went calmly on; he
knew his mother telling an untruth
When this mother punished him for a false
hood, as she doubtless did when his prevarica-
ton was inconvenient TO her. what did she
indelibly impress upon the indignant soul in
the poor little tortured body2 No less than this
fearful lesson that besides being untruthful his
mother was unjust; that she punished him for
what she herself did; therefore that ID UAs noe
wrong for a grown person to lie. tl-tsf
II any mother thinks a child Of that age in
capable of drawing an inference she underesti-
mates his intelligence. He may not say any
thing. children have a way Of not telling their
mental processes. but she may be sure he does
not forget, nor fail to judge her conduct.
FEAR.
Last Of this melancholy crop is fear This Is
the weapon of the servant 10 manage the child,
and she is not so much in fault as the mother
who has let him get the upper hand by Guilt
waiting his will. The terrible and lifelong
suits Of a child's fear OF the ''bogy outside the
window" the "beggar man who would carry
him of" the 'bears under the bed that would
devour him If he did not lie still. " can never be
known. Many persons have passed all their
days in a state Of nervous dread Of they knew
not what, others live the lives Of towards. be-
cause Of terrors instilled into their minds in
infancy. have heard grown man tell, with
shudders OF horror of the suffering OF his child
hood when left in his bed 10 60 10 sleep or when
waking at night in the dark. and he had . con-
scientious and most devoted mother, too.
Grown-up people do not realize the powers
Of an undisciplined imagination. That a child
wants a light at night, or Is afraid of the dark.
appears TO them a foolish within, not 20 be grati-
fed. II is, on the contrary. an Indication that
he has been frightened; he should always have
the light and mother should spare no pains to
soothe and reassure him. and much as pos
sible to undo the evil that has been done.
We have thus seen that the shocking crop
harvested by this thoughtless ''sowing Of the
wind" is first, violent temper; secondly, an
imperfect BODY. thirdly trimming in falsehoad