The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1892-11-10
The puzzle permeated every nook

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and corner OF the village. Two pop
ular mcMbers of the Y. NJ. c. a. slap
ped each others faces over il. Col.
Hooks pulled the nose of a touris, to
whom he was trying to sell lard, and
all the boys in town fought over it.
One John 2. Smith att ,cked the
wife of his bosom with terocily and a
scythe and knocked her into The well
where she was speedily dlowned. A
mob chased Mr.. Smith IS geographic
miles and gave him five minutes in
which to show cause why he Should
not be lynched, whereupon he declared
that the demise Of Mrs. Smith was
attributable to divine providence and
stone over which she had stumbled,
the same throwing her into the well,
His sole intention had been 10 bestow
upon her well merited castigation
for introducing the relationship puz-
zle into the household. thereby assassi-
mating the peace and harmony of the
same.
This announcement resulted in a
prolonged and earnest debate upon
the part of the string band, which
continued until the sheriff and posse
rescued Mr.. Smith and bore him to
town. Court was in session at the
time and the case came up for trial on
the morrow 1t was dark when the
jury were sent out. They canvassed
the case thoroughly. Hicks, who was
among them, detailed the puzzle and
exhibited his tallysheet.
At ! O'Clock in the morning the
door was burst open and the jury fell
down the stairs fighting like demons.
The stove had been overset and the
building was soon in flames. The
Hook and Ladder Company swirled
up and ran over three gentlemen, two
Of whom Immediately assaulted two
fremen, whereupon the whole body of
the later attacked the entire jury i'm
partially. The alarm of fire aroused
the village and the majority of ci,i-
zens appeared, on the scene. Judge
Begad denounced the fremen for
rioting in the face of the destroyer
and was attacked by the foreman of
the company. Several citizens went
to the assistance Of the judge, and
three men whom he had fined for sell
ling whisky jumped in to help the
foreman. Several Prohibitionists for
got everything else and rushed lin to
battle with the rum fends.
And thus the fight waxed. The
fire was forgotten. The rival editors
wrangled and then fought, and their
printers took sides. The members of the
various lodges could not stand by and see
their brethren mauled, and they, too,
rushed into the fray. The Rev. Mr.
Harps mounted hitchraCk and cried
peace, and man whom he had mar
ried to a harridan week before
smote him with an axehelve, and
Deacon Cronk ran to the minister's
assistance. In three minutes nearly
every churchman in town was in the
fracas. The citizens of Irish extrac-
ton mingled in the fray on general
principles. The rival undertakers
fought. Every man who had grudge
against any other man tried TO get
satisfaction then and there, and all
the debtors attacked their creditors.
A gale had sprung up, and be fore
the fire had been got under control
the major portion of the business part
of the village was in ashes. This
threw many men out of employment
and they moved away soon after.
Others, seeing that there would be on
boom for many moons, departed.
Several capitalists who had been about
to make investments immediately
folder their tents. The grand jury
found true bills against many of the
participants in the great fight, and
they all fed like the wind. Nobody
would buy property and the real estate
agents left.
The number of the voters WAS so
reduced that rival town secured the
county seat, and with it went every
body who could get away. The news
papers both went. Many of the
buildings were loaded on trucks and
hauled off to the new county seat.
And finally cyclone razed all Of the
remaining buildings and put and end
TO the village for good and all.
And all this was the work Of the
relationship puzzle. Behold how great
a fame little spark kindleth.