davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
A POOR

Yes" said the society lady, at a
swell affair the other evening, I've
crossed the Atlantic Ocean eleven
times"
The smart young man adjusted his
eyeglass and said:
"Ah! Born in England, I suppose3'
mo, indeed? Why do you ask9"
Because, if you were born in this
country and had crossed the ocean
eleven times, you'd be on the other side
now, don'tcherknow!'
The lady figured a moment on the
tips of her pretty fingers, blushed VIC
lently, and fed.-YdnEee Blade.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
THE ARIZONA KICKER.

A SUMMING UP.-FOr the last four
months the Mayor of this town (whois
ourseID and the editor and proprietor
of the Kicker (who is also oureelf has
been before the electors of this senate
rial district as a candidate for State
Senator. Now that we are elected it
is perhaps well to do a little sum
ming up.
First-The Office did not seek us, but
we laid our pipes and made a success
full grab at it. The idea that the Office
shou'3 seek the man is all right in the
year 4SO B. c., but it hasn't been worth
shucks in this country since Christie
pher Columbus discovered it. That
was what allied us for about ten years
we were waiting for some Office to
seek us, and we wore mighty poor
clothes and didn't sit down to a square
meal onc a week.
Second-Having sought and secured
the nomination, we planted our wires
for a pull in every direction. The fact
that we are honest, respectable, and
all O. K. as men run, and that the OPP
position couldn't even get up a decent
lie about us, was all right to a certain
point. Beyond that we had to shell
out cash, tap a keg of whiskey here
and there, and promise to take care Of
about fifty heelers who really ought to
be doing time.
Third-Up to date we have been shot
at four times; two attempts have been
made to assassinate us; we have been
bombarded with cats, rabbits, eggs, and
other articles of this prolific soil two at
tempts have been made to steal
running mule; we have received three
Internal machines and twenty-one
threatening epistles. On the other
hand, we have wounded two of the
oppositions who had doubted our
veracity when we we're lying, and
fired at three others who got away.
We have aided tobreak up three meet
ings, licked two of the opposition
speakers, and kept such a. corner on
the kerosene market that only our side
could hold torchlight parades.
Fourth-We have used every effort
to down the opposition and get there
with both feet, and know that we are
solid, Had it been left to us at the
outset we should h~avepreferred aquiet
campaign with no shooting. Weshould
have elected to go before the people as
an humble citizen possessed of a fair
share of the cardinal virtues. We
should have refused to buy up the old
soakers or come down with a dollar
for a corruption fund. The politicians
wouldn't have it that way, however.
We were in the hands of our friends,
and they didn't want any new ideas
introduced irto the campaign.
We feel a bitsorry for the opposition
candidate. While he was totally unfit
for the place and should never have been
nominated, he has put in his time and
money and will be left dead broke and
completely discouraged by the result.
We also feel sorry for the good men
among the opposition. They have lied
about us, and whooped it up in various
ways as a duty they owed the party.
1t was going it rather strong whenthey
declared that our father was hanged
for murder and our mother used to be
a beer singer, but it was in the line of
duty and only what might be expected
in politics.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
1T HAD GONE.
The Road Was There in War Times But
is Cleard Out.

The Road Was There in war Times Bul
is CIeard Out
The old Nationo1 rood 90 - noo
called loo5ino froD, ~ Roa+oua 800
board to the Vest and so,1tb ord con,
shutting the main nnbIic t-horo,obfor
in the nTo. ro ilrood onoob 49, eo,t -
ita wov +bro,,oL r. In - -
Eastorn Kon+toLu 80 o1O~
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
PUNGENT


"Workin' now, Pete?" "Naw, Igot
a job in de City hal. "-Bufalo Er
press.
A man who lives fast cannot expect
that enjoyment will keep up with him.
-Binghamton Republican.
When the people find out that g
man is near at home, they don't care
how good he processes to be at church.
RAMS Horn.
Mrs. Fawcett-"Don't you admire
Mrs. Morey's diamonds9" Miss Van
Etten with the family grin-"Oh,
yes, I fairely dote on pastry"
A Good Taste. -Druggist-Was that
insect powder you got the other day
satisfactory" Gummey-"The insects
seem to like it. They are thriving on
il. "-DetrOit Free Press.
Wife (excitedly)-''If you go on like
this 1 shall certainly lose my temper"
Husband-'No danger, my dear. A
thing of that size is not easily lost
Commercial Bulletin.
Explained. Flint - "Why does
young Dumley always wear that big
mackintosh9' Fogg He doesn't
know enough to go in when it rains. "
Grip.
What was this man ARE sted for2'
"Impersonating an officer, yer Honor.
I saw him take two handfuls of pea
nuts and a banana ofSa corner fruit
stand. Washington Star.
For the Land of Divorces.-Sales
man-"But you'renot going to warrant
these plated wedding rings to wear
twenty years." Manafacturer-''That's
all right. They're made expressly for
the Dakota trade. "-JeCeLer's Weekly.
Good advice. Mrs. Newrich (who
prides herself on her knowledge of art)
ITO which institution do you think l
ought to leave my pictures when 1
die9" Conscientious Artist" To the
asylum for the blind. Kate Fields
Washington.
-'Donnerwetter, what a sight you
are" Just as I was leaving the house
to come to the club my wife pelted me
with flowers" But that doesn't &C
count for your bruised and battered
appearance" You see, she forgot to
take them out of the pots. "-FViegende
BlGtter.
"A Slight Mistake &c, I do just
adore WagnerI" said Mrs. Scrubb on
the hotel veranda. He is so grand,
SO awe inspiring. os-Poter, where is
that orchestral" please, mum, " re-
piled the potter, humbly, that's no or
chestra, mum. There be a dog fight
in the back yard, mum."-BrOokIyn
Eagle.
Don't you think Mrs Giltfeather
is a charming hostess2" said one young
woman to another. "Yes indeed, "
was the reply. ''She always does the
right thing at the right time" That's
what impressed me. Did you notice,
dear, how she served Refreshments inn
mediately after you sang2"- Washing
ton Star.
-Lady-"You had better wait up
for the master to night, Thomas, and
if he is very tired, you might help
him to bed" ThOmas-"Yes, ma'ma;
but hadn't John better stay up along
with met cause when the master is
very tired, he's awful lively and
strong" Lady-"Just as you please,
Thomas. - Ne, Up.
The Work Made Easy.-A scene in
a picture gallery shows a model
model" is a man who serves a model
for an artist, and who, in the artists
absence, explains the picture to a LADY
visitor. 'tFrom whom did Mr.. MGIp
paint that head7" From yours
o~bediently, madam. I sits for the
leads of all's old men" He must find
you a very useful person" Yes,
madam; 1 order his frames, stretch his
canvass, wash all his brushes, set his
palette and mix his colors.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
NOTICE.

Parties inviting any of the officers of
the Alliance to make an address, are
expected to pay expenses of the same.
The State Alliance cannot pay the ex-
penses of any one except when doing
regular work. The brethren will please
note this and arrange matters accord
ingly. w. S. BARNES,
Sec'Y-Treas. N. G. +. 8. A
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
NOTICE.

All communications intended for the
Executive Committee of the State Alu-
ance of North Carolina should be al-
dressed to Capt. s. B. Alexander, Chair
man, Raleigh, N. O., care of W. s..
Barnes, Secretary-Treasurer
By order Of Executive Committee.
w. s. BARNES,
Sec'y-Treas. N. G. +. S. A
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
HOUSEHOLD.
MILK

r.t-o one quart of milk, the juice OF
large lemons and one pint OF
Mix and freeze the same as
|S The milk will curdle by the
's3ition of the lemon, but come all
';rbt in the freezing process.
HARD GINGERBREAD.
Too cups of molasses, twO-thirds of
ann Of butter or lard, half a cup OF
I'm water, two teaspoons of soda.
Ne of ginger, -four to roll as soft as
~, can; wet the top with milk and
At sugar over it before baking.
BowDoIN PUDDING.
Onn ouart of milk, one-third of a box
=. pelqtine soaked in the milk one
borr. One cup of sugar. yolks of three
.ggs beaten togther; add to the cold
milk. cook like soft custard. Beat the
vbites of the eggs, and stir into tho
or5ding Just as you take it from the
stove.
APPLE CHARLOTTE.
Line a buttered loaf tin with thin
,ices of homemade bread; dip the
edges Of the bread in white of egg and
All the space with a smooth apple
,auce seasoned with lemon rind and
nutmeg. or cinnamon; cover the top
with strips of bread; put a smll guam
ttv of butter on top, and bake one
hour.
OYSTER SALAD.
Clean one piut of white celery, and
cut into fine pieces. Season with salt.
Parboil one pint of oysters, drain, and
when cold mix them with a French
dressing. Put a layer of shredded let
tuce in a salad bowl, sprinkle with a
French dressing, add the oysters and
celery, cover with a Mayonnaise dress
ing. and garnish with picked bar
berries.
GRAPE CATSUP.
Boil seven pounds Of grapes, merely
picked from the stems and washed a
little in a bowl set in a kettle of boiling
water. When they have cooked in
this way for an hour, strain through
sieve fine enough to keep back the
and seeds. Add 81 pounds of sugar, a
pint of vinegar, a teaspoonful of CHINA
mon and the same amount of cloves
Cook the mixture till it is thick.
CAULIFLOWER.
Remove the outer stalks. Soak in
cold water, and cook in boiling sailed
water about twenty minutes. Drain,
seperate the stalks, put them in a dish,
and season to taste; or, with two table
spoons lemon juice, a little salt and
pepper mixed with a quarter of a cup
Of melted butter. Or pour a thin,
white sauce over the c%aulifower and
sprinkle coarse bread crumbs which
have been Drowned in butter over the
sauce.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
NOTICE.

Any County or Sub Alliance wishing
to employ a good lecturer, one who has
40 superior in the State can do so by
writing to me. The expenses and q
small compensation for services will
have ID be paid.
~Fraternally,
w. S. BARNES,
Sec'y-Treas. N. @. +. S. A.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
Poetry
oF THOU MY GUIDE.

rnide. and I will walk in darkness
3 th sSe MY %h5 trades the pe ge9eyt s ss96ess OF o@S'
rdSsiing a glaG ~ IvernaI fragrance al the way.
raaIth, and, reft of all BESIDES thee
. ,s 4?fP f %z :sS * ?si,Si5s 9f fo 5G Rf SsPs s s95PEfS5s
Iiest in the le6t beyond the cream of kingsI
strength, o lowly one n sanity
3 a iR235 6 %9 jhrni %S5 @e add IN ds ss9u Pd ms sh m$,
though bon0ht of thee, l will be strong!
Yet, IN tI EgTIc Coates, i n d cember Lfppthcotts.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-06
KENNEBEC ICE

Is the Purest, Coolest, Hardest and in every
way the best to be had in this country. For sole
by carload, more or less, at very low prices.
HARD AND SOFT GOALS.
We are LINERS agents for the best Goals for
domestic and steam use. shipped on cars direct
from mines. JONES
(S4W Raleigh. n. G..
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18

revenue duties would temporarily diminish the
cost of products consumed by the people, but it
would only be because the foreign product at =
lower price would force down the home product
or diSplace il altogether
Cheaper products from abroad to the Amer
lean consumers means cheaper labor at home
and lower rewards to the domestic producer
with permanent benefit 20 the consumer"
''That country is the least prosperous where
low prices and low wages prevail"
your committee has not sought by the pro-
posed legislation to further cut down prices at
the expense of our own prosperity, but 70 pro-
vide with tsinty against that increasing COM
petition from other countries whose conditions
our people are unwilling TO adopt We have
not believed that our people, already suffering
from low prices, can Will be satisfied with
legislation that viii result in lower prices. No
country ever suffered when prices were fairly
rernunerative in every field of labor, and ii has
been the purpose of the committee to SO adjust
duties upon competing foreign products as to
save our people from ruinous competition from
abroad
The extracts present the views of the
ways and means committee clearly
enough. The committee did not be-
lieve that the American people would
be satisfied with legislation that would
make prices lower. They, therefore,
reported bill which would not make
them lower. But now they say that
these assertions about the bill were
falsehoods. While we are about it we
will make this clear also. The repub-
ican platform says distinctly:
1--WE assert that the prices of manufactured
goods OF general consumption have been re-
duced under the operation of the tariff act of
$780,
What the ways and means committee
OF 1890 said the bill would not do the
republica n platform of 1892 says it has
done. The law was praised in 1890 be-
cause it would not cheaper, and is
praised in 1892 because it has cheap
ened. 1t is heralded as a magnificent
success because it has accomplished
what it was intended to prevent. This
is the measure of republican statesman
ship.
The report of the senate finance COM
mittee, not yet accessible, is of the
same general tenor, If we may judge
by the advance notices that have been
sent out. Prices, they say. are cheaper,
and we are left to infer that the Nc
Kinley bill made them So The repub-
ican organs draw this inference If the
committee do not. Comment on this
report will be In order when it is re-
ceived, but the republican papers are
making their comments in advance on
an eX paroe statement of what it shows.
All their comments are directed to
show that it has done what it was said
before its passage it would not do, and
which the American people would not
approve. According to its friends and
advocates, therefore, the Mckinley bill
is q disastrous failure. the spelI-biDders
are frauds, the fat-friers are confidence
men and the manufacturers that fur
nished the fat have been buncoed--
Louisville CONFECTIONERY.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18
OPINIONS AND POINTERS.

-HarriSon's campaign is wholly Ii
the hands Of federal officeholders wi.li
Harrison himself to boss them.-S$.
Louis Republic.
Now it is said that Secretary Fog
ter of the treasury is to be forced ost
of the cabinet because he couldn't de-
liver Ohio's vote to Harrison at Mime
apolis. Mr.. Harrison has no love f6.
the man who can't be useful to hiHl
lly.-Indianapolis Sentinel.
Harrison thinks that he can carry
New York without the assistance o;
Plat and Miller. The absardity or
your Uncle Benjamin's confidence APP
pears in the fact that he could NOS
carry the state if Plat and Miller united
in an effort to help hin.-Detroit FREQ
Press.
Stevenson is a figure that grows
visibly in the public eye. His New
York visit scored for him a palpable
hit. He talks with fiuency and thinks
electoral vote of Illinois rise confident
ly the better Stevenson becomes popa-
larry knoxn.-Kansas City Times.
Gov. Mckinley claims that his
tariff bill has brought about decline
saries of life He also claims that IN
der his bill the average rate OF duty
was reduced to 20.65 per cent. Then
tariff reduction does reduce the cost Of
necessaries, after all. Why not have
more OF it?-St- Paul Globe.
The republican press has been
unwise in denying that high-tarif
teachings brought about the Home
stead horrors. The case IS too plain
If republican writers had admitted the
truth, and added that this thing oc-
CURED only once IN awhile" they
would have made 2 better defense
Louisville Courier-JournaL
Harrison and Platt have cIasped
hands across the bloody chasm- But
Harrison had 10 come to Toms terms
MIR. Plat has been informed by the
presidents special messenger that he
can be gin running the machine on his
own terms and that the administration
will, not shove any bars between the
spokes while the machine Is IN motion
How do Depe~ and Hiscoclz appreciate
the situation?-Troy Observer.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18

his corn-cob pipe after the meal. Dem
PEACHES, dey say dey're mighty trouble
some nowadays. Allus a-spyin' roun'
waitin' ter s'prise yer, and den it's good
by. niger. Deyll burn yer feet, an
den .dey'n seulp yer ha'r of'n yer
head
''Apachesi' said Joe, with lofty con-
tempt That's talk fur tenderfeet.
Yer safe to gamble that thar amt an
InJun within hundred miles o. hyar.
The red devils know better'n to come
whar we miners are They don't like
to run up agin this kind o truck" And
the boy touched his revolver and his
belt filed with cartridges.
Pete decided that he would take a
nap, Depositing his hat-box for safety
upon the wagon-load, ne accidentally
5 displaced the bottle in the gunny sack.
Whats in dat bottle, boss he
asked. 'Sumfin good ter drinlS?'
You let it alone; hits medicine. y
said Joe. Peg Leg Crawford thinks
it'll cure ev'rything. from climate and
bad water ter old age. I'll read yer
what it's made wv
Taking from his pocket worn piece
OF brown wrapping paper, he spelled
out a roughly written formula calling
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18

1t will be seen from the figures that
the whole number of removals during
the four years of Stevenson's term was
Il, 204, while for the three years iInme-
diately following, ending with 1891,
there were 10, S51 removals. 1t viii be
further seen, as illustrating Gen. Clark
sons superior celebrity in the use OF the
headman's ak. that he removed IA, 422
postmasters in the short space Of two
years, a greater number than were re-
moved by Mr.. Stevenson during a period
OF four years
To follow the comparison still further
it is found that Mr.. Stevenson in the
first two years of his term removed TO-
$40 postmasters, while Gen. Clarkson,
in the same length of time, removed
Il, 422. beating Mr.. Stevens6n's record
by more than 4, 600. The history of the
post Office department shows, also. that
in nine months Gen. Clarkson cut off the
heads of more than 1000 postmasters.
record which has never been equaled,
and probably win never be. 1t appears,
therefore, that although Mr.. Stevenson
moved rapidly in making changes in the
post Offices throughout the country, hh
did not prove himself equal in that re-
spect to the late chairman of the Ne
tional republican COMMUNICATIONS I
Herald
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18
SCIENCE AS 1T FLIES.

PATIENTS have lived exclusively on
beef and mutton for from three to four
years.
A RUSSIAN physician uses soothing
musical tones as a remedy in nervous
diseases.
NICKEL steel does not corrode in salt
water, which fact is OF great virtue to
ship plates
AT ordinary temperature mercury in
an equal quantity in bulk weighs about
tvvo-thirC.s more than gold
THE quantity of blood in the human
body varies, but is generally about one
tenth the total weight of the body
IL speaking of the qualification Of a
body by cooling. Prof Dewar says that
water can be made to become solid by
the evaporation OF . quarter OF its
weight.
Dr. FL. T. WEBSTER, of Oakland. Cal,
has cured several cases OF persistent
snoring by cutting of the uvula and
tonsils- When these organs are too
large, and when relaxed in sleeping. the
passage OF air through the mouth
causes them to vibrate, and noise re
sults.-Scientifc American
One pound Of Indian tea viii make
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18

Joe, whose shoulder was painfully
wrenched, weakened a moment with a
lapse OF darkness; then, rallying, he
staggered to the top of the rise. His
pursuers lay dead upon the plain and
two men were riding after their horses.
which they quickly caught Rhody
came back to him Of her own accord.
Capt Mckinley, the leader of the prs
pecting party, asked the boy how he
felt aud explained the rescue to him.
eve saw you coming" he said, land
lay low. The Injun's didn't spot us
till they got almost top of u.s. Then we
riddled 'em."
Joe told them OF the capture of his
outfit and Pete. The prospectors shook
their heads.
Were goin' straight on to Corundo
Springs" they said. s'We low ter
camp there tonight. But you'll not
find the darby alive. It's lucky if they
haven't tortured him."
Marching over the trail that Joe had
travelled twice that day. it was half
way to midnight when they came near
the spring.
"You stop here" said Capt. Mckinley
to his men. a hundred yards from the
brink of the hollow. Tom Hoover
and the boy and I'll reconnoiter.'
They crept to the edge and peered
into the depression. The wagon and
the mule were still there, and amid the
scattered freight several dark forms OF
men stretched on the ground could be
dimly discerned. On the wagon tongue
a solitary figure was seated; upon his
head was high hat, beneath which
came the intermittent glow of q pipe in
full action.
The captain was puzzled. They're
taking it mighty easy he whispered.
Those fellers on the ground are In
juns sure enough; but 1 can't savoy
that thing tipped OFF with the stove
pipe
''That's the chief" breathed Joe.
He had Petes hat on when fust got
sight Nv EN-
"WeIl wake 'em in way thatll
make that hard-b'iled hat risin' prop.
erty. Tom, go back and tell the boys
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-08-18
6uNcoEo BY M.kINLex.
The High Tariff Bill Proves to Be .
Great Humbug.

Great humDug.
It is. If those who passed it and
praised It as the perfection OF human
wisdom tell the truth They intended
it to increase prices, but they say now
that it has had the contrary effect
The reason for the change of tone is
not obscure. The remarkable revolt
against Mckinley prices which occurred
at the November election, 1890. opened
the eyes OF the high takers, and they
began at once to hedge Since then
we have not heard so much of the dire
misfortunes that result from too great
q regard for cheapness.
The republicans have such short MEM
cries when they are anxious to forget
that it may be necessary to recall some
of the expressions which indicated the
purpose for which the Mckinley bill
was enacted. 1t cannot be forgotten that
Gen. Harrison. while a candidate for
the presidency four years ago, took oc-
casion to deprecate the depraved taste
for cheap clothing which he attributed
to the democrats. remarking that a
cheap coat implied q cheap man inside
the coat. Mai. Mckinley. in his
speeches before the election of 1890,
stated that cheapness is badge-of pow
erty. Henry Cabot Lodge, the repub-
lean scholar In politics" laid down
the profound principle that cheapness
is un-American. These casual obser-
vations sufficiently indicate the trend
of opinion among republicans prior to
November, 1890.
But we are not confined to mere
casual expressions to indicate the pur-
pose of the bill. When Maj. Mckinley
reported it he presented also a report
to accompany it. In this report he
uses such expressions as these:
1--WE have not been much concerned about
the prices of the articles we consume as we
have been 10 encourage system Of home pro-
duction."
''The committee will admit that free trade or