The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-04
LEOPOLD ADLER.

many trfllions OF times in the past. She
wants the things" just az soon as possible
so az TO put all the girls to work making
the mince pies.
SO Grandma Eve looks thoughtfully at
Grandfather Adam, who says:
Put down Col, los, 000, 100000 900 ,000,-
OOO."
She asks what that is, and he replies that
it is the number of children who will be at
the dinner, and, after putting the pointed
end Of ner pencil into her lovely mouth and
moistenIng 1t, she writes COL los, 0o0. 000,-
600 600. 100000 He then suggests that each
person will eat 8 pounds weight at the din
ner, and she multiples the figures by and
then divides 1t by 2 ,240 20 got the weight in
tens and tell Adam it will take. to supply
100000 DOC, 100000 of tons weight
altogether. This is more than
sixth of the weight of the entire
earth which is 5,273. 00O, 600 000, 600. 900 ,00o
OF tons of 2, 240 pounds each, which is nos
the weight Of q ton of coal, by any means,
but that is OF no consequence. Every
housekeeper knows that 10 persons at
Thanksgiving dinner can eat turkey
weighing Is pounds, and Eve figures out
after wetting that pencil again In her pretty
mouth, that she Will want A, 0E3 ,OOO.OOO,-
100000, QUO, 600 Of gobblers "to begin WITH,
says she. When they have figured on the
other material, covered several sheets OF
papyrus. and Eve has reduced that pencil
30 pulp, Adam lays back in his Turkish,
easy chair and says:
TITS all right, old lady. but where is IL an
to come 'FRONT.' There never was so many
turkeys since we first went to housekeeping.
there never were dishes enough to serve tho
dinner, and there aren't ovens enough on
earth to cook that dinner IN many, many
years. Why. Evie, my darling, there isn't
pepper enough In existence TO season the
food with, and as for water-why, they
would drink all the rivers and lakes dry and
not get drop of water apiece. We're NOT
in IL, EVE, 80 we'd better have a little tea
party all alone by ourselves in the Garden
Of Eden, and take our Thanksgiving dinner
with the descendants of John Smith"
Grandmother Eve puts away the figures
and resumes her knitting, while Grand
father Adam goes out, rather disconsolats
at the failure Of his endeavor 10 look altar
the cattle who have become so numerous
OF late.
There are some very queer conclusions 10
be reached from the statement OF the fact
concerning the number Of people born sincs
the time Of Adam. and perhaps some Of
them should be handled with an eye to the
delicacy of the subject. For instance.
you would resent the idea of being
called a canniball Take the number of peo-
pie, 66l 1OS 600 900, 000, 00o, 000. 600 of human
beings born up TO about ten years ago. AZ
that time there we're actually over Il, Co.,
900 600 of people on earth. You Will adj
NIT that a very low estimate of the average
weight Of each human being would be 100
pounds. Multiply 661, los. O00, 600 DOC, eDO,<
600, coo by 100. and the result in tons Is 3d.
5l3, $50, 900. 900, 600, 900 000 and that is low
calculation OF the weight, in tons, OF the
people who descended from Adam, which
weight is six times greater than that OF the
earth upon which they we're born. namely.
5,273, 900, OO0, 900 600 100000 of tons Of 2.24S
pounds each.
Then you might ask why the earth does
not weigh seven times more tnan
1t really does. and you are met
with the answer that the earth weighs
just as much and no more than when
Adam ate the apple and did not have TO puy
any dry goods bills of his wife's contracting.
When you come to think the thing over yeu
will turn white at your ghastly conclusion
that you are a cannibal for a certain, un-
alterable factl You cannot get away from
facts and figures, and must know that the
matter of which this earth is composed II
being turned over and over again, and, for
| ms lance, the apple you eat may be part
| and parcel Of your favorite dog who was
/ buried at the foot of the tree some year or
more ago, and the vegetables you eat, this
l flowers you smell, and the grass the cow
| eats, and so on, may be something elset II
this Is not 50, then explain what has become
Of the six times the weight OF the earths