Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-09-03
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.

Jekes and Jokelets that Are Supposed =
Dotn<s that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughable.
An ocuIist is the man who can
make people @open their eyes"
EVEN when a ship parts with her
anchor she still keeps her hold.
Or a retiring nature-the man
who goes to bed with the chickens.
HAVE you ever heard a parrot
swear? No, but I've seen cro-cus.
WE shall have showers of blessing.
Too much Of a good thing isn't good
at all.
If a boy is well thrashed he ought
to be @as good as wheat Rochester
Democrat.
IF any boat can shoot the rapids
successfully we should think it would
be the gunboat.
THERE are some men who are so
opposed to anarchy that they will not
even wear red flannel.
TRIvET-"Isn't Mrs. Chinner a
handsome woman?" Dicer Yes,
but she isn't as handsome as she is
painted. Judge.
A DRUMMER who eloped with a
Kansas City dining-room girl was ar
rested for stealing the table service.
-Binghamton Republican.
A SOUTH JERSEY paper makes the
remarkable statement that thin
boGhoed Il Irhfiaseiphia Kicord.
IT's satisfaction to know that the
hat-pin is not to become an instru-
ment of assassination. A girl can be
dressed to kill without it.-Phila-
delphia Times.
THERE" she said, standing on her
tiptoes, Il am about your size" @On
the contrary" said the disconsolate
lover, my signs are about you'll
Chicago Tribune.
LOUISE Where is your brother
now9 Kittie Whose brother has just
sailed for Europe)-Why, don't you
know? He's on the brawny deep
Harper's Young People.
Mrs. KEYBoARD-Why do you al
ways sit at the hotel piano? You
can't play a note. Old Stokes
Neither can any one else while I'm
here.-Brandon Banner.
Mr.. CITIMAN-Where in creation
is that furnished cottage 1 rented for
the summer? Rural carman-Right
over yonder, sir, behind your wife's
trunk.-New York Weekly.
TEAcHER-How did Napoleon III.
reach the throne of France? Pupil
He rode in. Rode in? Nonsense!"
~Oh, yes'm. The history says he got
in by a coupe. Good News.
JEANErTE-Does Miss Boardman
get her lovely complexion from her
father or her mother? Gladys Sweet
ly)eFrom her father. He is in the
drug business. News.
A SUSSEX, England, horticultural
correspondent announces, on the au-
thority of his vicar, that nine oNt of
ten among the humber brides swear
to @love and honor cherries and a
berry,"
WELL, if that amt mean," ex-
claimed the prisoner, every burned
one o. the stories in this here paper
they've gimme to read is continued.
An me to be hung next week!"-In-
dianapolis Journal.
~EB'NEzAH" ~Ma'am?" rs yoh
bin hookin' watah Mullins fun de
mahkit?" Nom" well, maybe
yoh didn't. But I doan see how yoh
am gwine ter prove an alibi fur dat
collie. Washington Star.
MRS. SNooPER-Menm make me tired.
Mrs. Swayback-What's the matter
now? Mrs. Snooper-My husband
saw Mrs. Keedick yesterday, and
asked him what she had on. and he
replied, ~Oh, clothes. It'd Bits.
LITTLE DICK School teachers
hasn't any feelin's at all. Mamma
What is the matter now? Little
Dick-My teacher borrowed my new
knife to sharpen her pencil, so she
could give me demerit mark.-Good
News.
HOFFMAN HOwES - Wheah has
Howell Gibbon been lately? Rocka-
way Beeche-Staying at home, deah
boy. His name was misspelled in
one of the society papahs, and he is
waiting faw the affair to blow ovah.-
Puck.
So" SAID Mr.. Donnegan, @they's
been printing the funeral notices av
. man that wasn't dead yit. It's a
nice fix he'd be in if he had been
wan o. those people that believe w.
erything in the newspapers."-Wash-
ington Star.
WHE-@What's that white stuff
on your shoulder" Husband
Chalk from a billiard cue, you
know Wife (snifbng)- Hereafter
/ wish you to use chalk that doesn't
smell HEo fnilof vnvdar No-