The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1892-09-30
CHICAGO'S TRADESMEN.
A Grist of Entertaining Gossip
from the Worlds Fair City.
The Race for Medical Science and As
tronomy-The English Sparrow Pa
rades as Quail on Toast-Prep-
aratiOn for Columbus Day.
Especial Chicago Correspondence

blacksmith and horsesboer simply
shoes horses. In Chicago these trades
men are more heightened. They keep
step with the progress of civilization
and culture, which many people believe
to consist in the use of big words.
There is on one of our main thor
oughfares a blacksmith shop with a
huge sign in front, announcing that
the proprietor is Pathological horse
shoer.'' He neglects to give diagram
of what he means by that term, and if
YOU consult your dictionary you will
not be much enlightened. Path
ology is a medical term signifying
''the science which has for its OBJ
iect the knowledge of disease" But that
does not help US much to understand
what pathological horseshoer" is.
However, a biological horseshoer
probably gets be.ter prices, as vet
Urinary surgeon charges more than a
horse doctor.
Some distance away from this black
smith shop is another whose owner an
nounces himself as a veterinary sur
peon and advertises that he has an
"Eouine Polvclinic" in his back yard.
"Horse hospital" does not sounG well
ana probably does not draw so well
either. Probably the shoes are taken
OF in the equine polytechnic and cured
in the blacksmith shop and then put on
again by the veterinary surgeon.
The names remind me of the an
nouncement made by the academy of
sciences of Paris chat beer was adul-
terated with SVlph55 sazaz0dfmethytdm5R.
Let the prohibitionist orators spend a
week or two committing that word to
memory and then get it of in their
speeches. It will be the most deadly
blow vet delivered at the drink evil 1t
will cause the gooseflesh to creep over
you till yop will think you are piano.
rama of the Rocky mountains with the
Himalaya piled on top.
Medical science has scored another
triumph. 1t not only knows a cholera
bacillus when it sees it-although they
ALWAYS have 90 wait till it comes before
they can do anything; it has also dis
covered a remedy for disabled umbrel-
las, and as usual the discovery did not
come from the learned Ones but like
most of the good that comes to the
world it emanated from the lowly.
On the North side is a man who has
put his discovery into practice. de
keeps what he advertises as an "Um-
brella Hospital" l understand he can
set broken rib in an umbrella and
heal it in twenty-four hours, and even
fracture OF the spinal column Is not
fatal if his assistance is sought in time.
He used TO be a wood and ivory turner,
but it is understood will soon apply for
a diploma as an NJ. d.
Astronomy has been rampant in Chi
caco for some time. Ever since Mars
was reported to be in Its perihelion
thousands of people have been out in
the parks, along the lake shore and in
the streets getting a glimpse OF the
red planet. The men with the tele-
scopes offering "a view of the heaven
" skies for ten cents have been
doing a rushing business. As a general
thing | noticed they had these gun
shaped instruments aimed at the moon
while the observer of Mars put his
eyes to the touchhole. The news
papers have been full of astronomy
ana took fresh start when that ad-
ditional moon was discovered circling
about Jupiter like moth around a gas
let The men with the telescopes reap
the benefit from this excitement.
Many people who went to look through
them reminded me Of the Irish sailor
whom the captain put at the helm of
the boat while he went below to-sleep.
He told the sailor to steer by a certain
star. When he came on deck again a
few hours later the sailor said:
Please, sir, will you give me fresh
star. I've passed the last one"
Did you ever eat quail in a city like
Chicago? If your nerves are good you
will try it again after reading this; if
they have any tendency to fail you will
never order that dish again. And yet,
if one ever eat frogs legs and snails
and oysters and that kind of creatures,
there is hardly any reason why one
should object to sparrows, for it is
sparrows, am told, that they general
" use for quail on toast in Chicago
restaurants. They are good, too.
These animals which live on the most
promiscuous and filthy diet generally
possess the best favor. Take hogs and
ducks A dirtier animal can hardly be
found, yet both have the most delicate
flavor. Then why not eat sparrows?
1t takes time and practice to acquire a
liking for oysters. Most people upon
first trying a raw oyster feel as Thack-
erav did. When he had eaten a raw
oyster and paused to feel the conse-
quenees a friend asked him how he
felt
Il feel as if had swallowed baby -
he said.
Sometimes it would seem as if no one
had any excuse to go begging or to be
unable to make living. This feeling
gets strong when one sees the way
some persons who are crippled or 9TH
erwise afflicted get through life There
Is a man whom most people who have
business in the courts and county Of
fees in this city know. He keeps a
cigar stand and lunch counter in the
courthouse on the ground floor oppo-
site the elevators. He is almost par
alytic. When a little child he was at
tackled with scarlet fever and was given
large dose of laudanum. 1t almost
killed him. He recovered, but has had
practically no control of his body since
that time. Yet he manages to support
himself and his mother, and he is intel
hgent and well read and clever de-
batter.
l saw a colored man the other day
who had but one finger on each hand.
He makes his living as musician. He
is a whole band in himself. When he
plays he blows mouth harmoniea
which is fitted on a brass horn to in
crease the sound and fastened around