Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-03-02

OF her being
What wonder. then. that the very thing
that should draw closer the married pair
often hopelessly divides thems At this
point, too. you need to be wise, for
though your heart may be full at pres
snt. your duty no less than your desipe
u to keep both husband and child.
Now. to DO sure, the baby Is all yours;
he lives in your life; he 10 part OF You.
Nothing on earth is 90 deep, 80 sweet
and so satisfactory rs your love for him.
But you must not forget that he, too. il
m independent soul. that the day will
come-all too soon--when he will strike
out for himself; when. il you have not
been judicious. be may even come to
aespise you--a heartbreakins but not
uncommon experience.
In long and close study OF mothers
have noticed not only that the baby
makes great change in the household,
bat that his coming affects tho mother
In one Of four ways. want therefore
to set up four guideposts as warnings
in your path. The first way that opens
before you, and the most tempting. Is to
become all mother. Baby is to.you the
ono important object in the world: you
forget that he is not the same to others.
Everything in tho whole establishment
tits itself to the tune Of tho infant; If be
sleeps. the household must go about on
tiptoc: if he wakes at night. every one
must DO reused; the temperature must
suit his needs; he must be brought into
the parlor and absorb the attention and
the talk Of visitors: his first smile. his
frst word are hardly less than miracles.
A mother who adopts this plan be-
comes preoccupied, absorbed in her
motherhood. II "a easy to SEQ how this
comes between husband and wife like
dividing wall. Tho husband comes
home. probably tired, anil finds WHAT
Rest and refreshment: Alas, no; only
nurse. fussy mother and = baby who,
dear ns he may be. gets after awhile to
be lit must be saidl something of bore,
with his multifarious needs and his nm
limited capacity for tears. Gradually
the husband stays away longer, he drifts
back to his club. he steps out after din
ner and perhaps comes home at mid
night.
You Observe and lament, but instead
Of seeing your mistake and setting your
self ut once to remedy It, you turn to
baby for consolation. He has never dis
appointed you; he loves you above all;
he is your comfort True now, dear
mother, but it viii not be so always.
With every succeeding child this breach
widens; you having become . mother
ouly. your husband finds no companion
ship at homo and gets quite accustomed
to seek it elsewhere. Your mutual in
terests die out; your influence upon each
other is greatly weakened or destroyed.
You have still "provider." protect
or" but you have lost your husband.
Tho second way that lies before you
when baby comes Is exactly the reverse
Of this; it IL to sacrifice thu. baby to the
husband, to remain wife and develop
hardly at ell the mother side Of your ma
ture. In this CAGE the child Is placed in
the hands Of . nurse. Day and night
poor thing.-he is kept in the nursery.
He seldom sees mamma; still more sell
dom papa. II he survive the perils Of
infancy without a mother-and he may,
for babies endure much and live-he
will give his love to his nurse. and per-
hsps when he arrives at manhood may,
rs q popular writer Of our time has
done. dedicate his book to his nurse, not
to his mother. He will be quite right
the only mother he had was his for
money.
The poor little motherless soul moves
ones deepest pity. especially il he is
taught to speak in q foreign language
and thus defrauded Of his mother tongue
~ well. Such deserted babies are not
uncommon snsone people to whom ''se-
ciety" is life. But whatsver the baby
Loses by this. tho meshee loses far more.
TO begin with. sAsthas thirked the plain
ct duty ever laid upon her; - has nog-
lected to do FOR her own child what no
human being but herself can properly
do. Then she has lost the very sweetest
experience life can give her. Finally.
she has failed to mako . home for her
children. to whom, even moro than to
her husband. she owos home. This is
failure even worse than the former.
The third path is not so easy and not
always successfully followed. but have
seen it in operation and resulting in an
indissolubly united family. II Is to in
| terest the father in the details Of baby
life a the mother 10 interested, gradu-
ally draw him in to do for the baby, till
he gets to take as eager delight In the
baby's bath. the first tooth, etc.. - the
mother herself. With some husbands,
Of course. this would DO impossible. but
when IL can be done Il makes family
Selightful to itself, bat. II nsust be ad-
United. terror 10 outsiders. The whole
house becomes nursery. Babys socks
ornament the piano. b~bys carriage
blocks the way, teething rings sdcrn the
csuter table. aud in fact IL II . con-
pletely baby ridden establishment.
| Neither down this path can ! advise you
| 10 90, though Il IL much moro dseirabls
shsn either Of the preceding.
The fourth path Is the way OF wisdom.
u v 10 get IN the hsainning ths best pc
ubls kelp IA the care Of baby most
precious thing In the house. II h sstcn-
| l<hlng how mothen viii dare trust b.
bee - yo~n9. ignorant. sven stursd
girls II seems not 10 occur b then,
that they ase pat<inG Der IN The rasitios
Of meshers isssAilsss h~s. With nesod,
knows what vnlearitin and s~perves
tiosss. IN the place 81 tnstructcr. dnrial
the time when ~ hAby aiAd tales i'm
| rfsseisns Cor life. 10 not shtak this h |
/ falso stasm. d 4 entswniv true, hat b.