Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1892-09-02
short Al. OF Fun.

SHE-"WnO uses all the SnNff that
Is. manufactured?" He-"No one
nose. "-Pharmaceutical Era.
LITTLE V1cToR-sMamma, my
hands are dirty, shall L wash them or
put on glOves?"-Le Figaro.
You can never estimate the size of
the sore ON a boys finger by the
amount OF rags he tics around it.
Atchison Globe.
COBwIGGER-"Brown doesn't talk
any more about the big fish he brings
home" Merrttt-sHis wife has
bought a pair of kitchen scalcs."--
New York Sun.
CUPID is getting bow and arrows
ready for the season. A popularity
of his shooting is that the more Mrs.
he makes the better the girls are
Observation-Disclosures Times.
"Do YOU know Widdikens' widow9n
"Oh, yes" Il hear she's going to
contest the old mans will" II don't
wonder at all. She always did when
he was alive.."-Chicago News.
BELArED student = Shec here.
Waterman (hic). can't open thish
door. MISUNDERSTANDING YOU will
succeed better ii you will try ii key
instead of that corkscrcw.-Fliegende
Blactter.
SURFACE = Isn't Bighcd rather
young to be Il cynic? Ruwley-O, no.
He has been graduated Il year and the
world hasn't recognized him yet
New York Herald.
THERE Is no music 10 Substituting
as the waltz. -Elmira Gazette.
They say that rabbit hunters are
very partial to harc-triggers. =
Rochester Post.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures, where did
you get the dreadful black eye?
Bridget-Me brother gave it to me.
mum, and wlatll the neighbors say,
mum: Me with an eye loikc that and
no Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
"WHAT value most is my peace
of mind" "That's strange, too.
You've such Il small picce."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
IF the telephone girl has Il soft
voice it is next to impossible for the
man at the other end of the wire to
believe that she isn't prctty.-Somcr-
willie journal.
JOHNNY-"Who is it that's in the
parlor:" Willie with his ear at the
key-holc)-"l think its the college
professor. Mammals voice has got
its Boston stop pulled wide open."-
Chicago Tribune.
THEY WERE JUsT ENGAGED.-aWe
had better be married tomorrow"
said he. $50 soonY" "M'hm, Your
father and l differ in politics, and
there is no telling how soon we may
be deadly enemies" - Indianapolis
journal.
This is the first poem / ever
wrote, SIR" said the caller. handing
a manuscript to the editor. Then L
could not for IL moment think of TAX
ing 1T from yOu," replied the generous
editor, handing it back.-Brooklyn
Life.
How TO get rid of surplus milk
cheese it. -lIazlcton Sentinel.
It's the shoe man who enjoys meet
ing people who put their foot in it,
Inter Ocean.
HE Pennsylvania woman whogave
a costly funeral to her pet mastiff the
other day comes under the exact
definition Of a dog gone idiOt.-Bos-
ton Pilot.
A BILL to regulate the working
hours of hand-organ grinders would
do good.-Picayune.
DAM it a much as you please,
water always does its level BEST
New Orleans Picayune.
NOTHING is so fortunately built
a fly. 1t can stand on one leg an
scratch itself anywhere with five legs
at nce.-Atchison Globe.
THERE is a sign on the entrance to
a cemetery at North Wales, Mont
gomery County, which reads: mo
admtttance except on business
Philadelphia Record.
MAMMA, asked Ethel, suppose we
hadn't won in our fight for depend
ence in 1876, would Queen Victoria
be President of the United States
now?:"-Harper's Bazaar.
"WHAT! DO you dine in that
f%ourth-rate placer" "Only when 1
am not hungry. What is the use of
wasting good food on a poor appe-
'tite?"-Indianapolis Journal.
RowLEY-The sea air is very brac-
ing. Surface-Ycs; but how can a
man benefit by it when seaside hotel
prices cause nervous prostration?-
New York Herald.
what is the name of that lady
who sneezes so much?" he asked. II
don't know, replied his sister; "she
seems very intense" II should say
she was intense; she's a grass widow
with the hay fever. "-Washington
Star.
Arab Horses.
VNh4 A~nlo a.. -Sl 4 e. -