The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1892-07-22

WHAT THE COMING MAN WILL DO
The Boston Globe has this to say of
glimpse Of the millennium caught by Miss
Frances A. Willard in Cincinnati:
Il is heralded By "a csean LOT # Young gentle
men, that do not smoke cigars about hotels,
nor enrich tie bars OF the city isvore1 with the
prohfnitory convention The simple meaning
OF this IS that neither smoking nor drinking
viii Be allowed during the long miliennial
reign.
VIII billiard playing and baseball come into
the same category of forbidden sins? L. it i'm
perativs from the Prohibition throne that if s
man, old or young, desires TO be thought
"clesn," he must periorce fo-swesr the limo
cent delight Of burning the fragrant wesd'
The woman rulers of certain towns in
Kansas few wears ago prohibited bill
lizards. That is the logical consequence
OF the prohibition philosophy when APP
piled to the conduct of life by the female
mind. First beer; then billiards; then it
viii be whist and all popular recreations
that do not involve the ::co-education of
the sexes, like croquet and lawn tennis.
The men will be prohibited from being
away from home after 8 p. NJ, and so on
until we have what the feminine reformer
deems calm, cool and cultivated civili-
cation.
The truly good men will all part their
hair and their names in the middle and
wear gloves on the street; the truly good
women will rock the cradle of "Faneuil
Hail." the woman who powders will be
exiled to No Mans Land" the woman
who paints will be sent TO the penitentiary,
where concealment may pray upon her
damask cheek; the woman who dresses 10
please the boys will be ineligible to public
Office; and the boy who smokes cigarettes
will be sent to the chain gang.
The man who cannot tell a story
without becoming profane his
torian will be disfranchised, and no
grass widow under IS will have license
to preach except TO an audience composed
exclusively of her own sex. The Masonic
fraternity will be proclaimed; its meet
ings dispersed and its leaders imprisoned
as exercising an influence hostile to home
rule. Lodge nights" will no longer be
refuge for husbands desiring to play tru-
ant until midnight.
This millennium will come when De-
borah shall make laws for David; when Jael
and Judith shall make Joshua take back
seat in war. Then Paul will change places
with Virginia. Virginia will court. while
Paul will be coy when Virginia eloquently
insists on marriage. What halcyon day
will be that when civilization will be ruled
nd r1 70 hr he
of both sexes. No beer. no billiards, no
baseball, no slaughter of innocent birds or
fishes to make masculine holiday; moth.
ing more severely stimulating to body or
brain than warbling drops of Water" or
discussing the probabilities of probation
after death for the remote ancestors of
Fling Wing, the latest Chinese convert to
Christianity.
The popular recreations will be 'drive
parties" at hypnotism; mind reading,
spirit naturalization and kindred search
ing after rare plants in the botanical gar
den of bosh and buncombe. Then the
short-haired man with the foghorn voice
and other attributes of pronounced mas
culinity will have TO stand back for the
long-haired man with the falsetto voice
and spider leg. the pigeon breast and
sloping feminine shoulder. The man who
eats large section of sirloin steak and
washes it down with a bottle of Bass ale
will be deemed a barbarian, and the ideal
American gentleman will be the man
who breakfasts on half humming
bird on toast. garnished with yellow but.
terhies' wings, lunches on a gumdrop,
dimes on ice cream and '.fallen" angel
cake, and whose wine at dinner" is a
glass OF water with teaspoonful of Hors.
ford's Acid Phosphates in it.
There will be no wars when this inverte-
brate civilization is with US, for there will
be no fighting men in place of power
When the prohibition Semiramis reigns
only men of the Sardanapalus breed and
habit will have any standing at
court. Semiramis Will sit on the
throne and show Sardanapalus how to be-
have like man and a sister. will smooth
his hair, if he has any left by that time,
and whisper state secrets in his ear in the
Amazonian accents that distinguish the
modern political "Nornas of the Fitful
Head
This civilization will be millennium.
indeed, for then the eve lamb will have
the best of the lion. for she will cut his
claws, draw his teeth, saddle, bride and
ride him to and fro as easily as boy does
Shetland pony or a miner patient,
surefooted mule in the mountains.
The people OF this city always welcome
the visits of General Russell A. Alger, for