Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-25

A WEEK.
either been shot or run out of town within
q few hours after the paper came out
Our people are rather queer about certain
things, and journalist must know their
characteristics before he can please them.
2. S-We stop the press after having
worked off 600 copies to announce that our
sporting editor has concluded to seek q
different climate. He was somewhat as
sisted in this resolution by Dan Skinner
Jim Bebee, Abe Hastings and others whom
he characterized as lone horse sports who
had never seen a genuine dog fight He
was a mile ahead and gaining at every
jump when they dropped the pursuit.
Sporting News will probably not appear
next week.
AN UNFORTUNATE OCCURRENCE.-Friday
last a stranger arrived here from Chicago
with view of opening an undertaking es-
adjustment. Unfortunately for him he
went providing about by himself and had
nothing to say TO any one. He came into
THE KICKER office about 8 o'clock Satur-
day afternoon, and as he entered the door
we thought recognized him as Bill
Wheatley, of Clinch valley, who sent us
word two weeks ago that he intended to
bury us in our own private graveyard.
This recognition was strengthened by the
fact of his reaching behind him-as if for
his gun. AS subsequently explained, he
town is always kept in mans hat We
always get the drop if possible, and we got
it on this man and bored him through the
shoulder. When he came to give his name
as Henry Briggs, and state his mission and
prove his identity by numerous papers, no
one could have felt more sympathy than
we did. We agreed to pay the surgeons
bill and give him forty dollars besides, and
we are now paying his board ut the hotel
for the week as we'll Mr.. Briggs has no
hard feelings toward us On the contrary
he realizes his mistake in not posting up
on the rules and regulations OF the town,
and freely admits that he has no claim on
US whatever.
HE FOUND OUT.-Jim Whitbeck alder
man from the First ward, has been aching
for some time to find out if his honor the
mayor (who is oursel) was well up in
"Cushing's Manual president of the
common council Last Friday evening he
learned all he wanted to know. He was
indulginc in speech when there was no
question before the house and was politely
cautioned. He refused to heed the caution
and planted himself on the broad platform
of American liberty. His honor stepped
down and took Jim and his platform and
threw both down stairs in n heap The
platform didn't suffer any to speak of, but
the alderman from the First had his
his elbow cracked in two places. II there
is any other member of the council who
doubts the mayors thorough familiarity
with Gushing" he is free to experiment at
any meeting.
No RIOT ACT.-His honor the mayor
(who is ourself) wishes us to announce the
fact that his Office has never been supplied
with copy of the riot act, and that in
case of n mob gathering to do mischief no
act can be read. 1t is well for our citizens
to remember this matter. There will be
no waiting on the part of his honor, as is
usually the case, but within fifteen seconds
after the mob has been commanded to dis
perse he will be right down on the ground
with both feet and moving right and left.
We sincerely hope there may never be Oc
casion for acting in an official capacity,
but it is wise for our citizens to post up on
laws and ordinances and be ready to act
in accordance. His honor was not acting
officially when he dispersed Jim Redfoot
Saturday evening, but as editor of THE
KICKER and an eminent citizen of the
town.