St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-04-16
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

The moral deprayity Of New York. as I'M
earlhed by DIR. Parkhurst. is simply horrible.
still. under the circumstances. !, was hardly
necessary for the oYerzealous reverend TO
MAKE Pail Mail Gazette Of himself
Grotesquely singular az It may appear.
there really seems 10 be an Alger schism
working up1n the ranks OF Michigan Repub-
leans.
According 10 The Aston house scales Eol
Robert G. Ingersoll weighs 81 pounds Eyi-
IDENTITY the great theological jconoclast is
something of stuffed prophet himself.
Editor Henri warerson is in New YORK
In political ci=cles II IS whispered that his
mission Is 10 compare his presidential boom
with the slightly more rotund article sported
by Gov. Flower.
Nebraska sets passabIy good political ex-
ample TO the country by sending "go-as-you
please" delegation to Chicago.
The Chippewa Indians are reported 10
have returned from Washington dissatisfied.
There IS nothing strange IN this. The satis-
| fed Indian, like the good Indian, is inYari
ably found in dead condition.
The Philadelphia Record seriously Fin
quircs: shall the worlds fair &c, an appro-
priations" Truly. it shall. else the good
right lobe OF the Chicago wire-pulier's brain
has forgot its cunning.
II Is on the wings of rumor that Rubin
stein IS 10 revisit this country. Should he
come to 81. Paul, the encore fiend may as
well keep his mouth shut Rube has them
at disadvantage. lie invariably connects
! the piano with time loex. that only opens
when the following number on the pro
gramme is TO be played
( The appearance i'll an exchange Of de
/ partment headed "Blair's Chinese Rela-
lions suggests the thought that up to date
! these relations have not been intimate enough
to excite remark among the neighbors.
| quarter of Scotland is owned by twelve
persons A quarter OF United States currency
| Is owned by one person. 1t is in possession
! OF a North Dakota editor.
| The queen OF England never goes to bed
| before midnight. This is considered proof
| positive that she IS in no way connected with
an evening paper, and is another unkind
fling at twilight sheets.
There is a boy ia ST Paul who is peculiarly
| situated III regard To two of his uncles One
/ of them Is a missionary, the other eanni-
| bal The cannibal, however, Is connected
with Dave Hendersons ''Sinbad' company,
and does a double turn with Eddie Foy.
That congressional investigating commit
tee seems TO have been organized for the
press purposesf making Raum howl.
A Chicago policeman is never out of poll
ties until he is dismissed from the force.
And then he can get back in again by open
ing a saloon; more's the pity.
Tomorrow is Easter. The day after you
can draw a long breath if you are not lroub-
led with the asthma
| The New York base ball club defeated the
Philadelphia boys easily. but the Philadelphia
papers NIL claim that their club will get its
second wind" Is Philadelphia really aspir-
ing TO rival Chicago as WINDY city!'
The base bali season can now be called
fairly opened. Those clubs which did not
open it with corkscrew stand u far better
show for giving the fans OH the grand
stand and bleaching boards their money
worth.
President Harrison has gone South after
snipe Gov. Merriam lately toured large
portion of the South aud never injured a
single inotfensive snipe.
YAISGLoRIOUs.
The world goes a-spinning through space,
Regardless of weather or sun spot; ID.
Man thinks he can sport like pace, 81
But he cannot. nE
His nerve may be tempered like steel,
But Natures a terrible marplot:
We may boast we re as sharp as the dell. a
But-We are not.
To crowds we may blazon our fame,
The gold we are after may pau not;
we strive to beat Fate at her game.
But we cannot.
Our bubble is sure to be pricked,
Our schemes go awry by the car lot;
We may claim TO be heroes unlocked,