The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-04-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A wedding trip-The broken engage
ment.
The minister's study-How to make
both ends meet.-Life.
The gosslp believes hGif she hears and
tells the other half. Elmira Gazette.
No form of error is more nauseating
than that which lauds itself as exclusive
truth.-Life.
The strange thing is that hotel run
ners are not the people who run the
hotels. st. Joseph News.
awe shall live by hook or by crook"
said the fisherman when he married the
shepherdess. Boston Post
That no one will take a fellows word
is not necessary proof that he will keep
it.-Binghamton Republican.
If you have Jonah among your
friends don't sit down aud cry about it;
be whale. e.-Atchison Globe.
The professional thief is sometimes
called bird of prey, and yet he's only
a robin '.-Binghamton Leader.
1t must not be supposed that a woman
is out of temper because she moves about
with bang.-Boston Gazette.
Astronomers do not attempt to knock
the spots off the sun. They only stand
and look at them.-Picayune.
OF course fellow is pushed for time
when an officer hustles him into a peni-
tentiary. ary.-Binghamton Republican.
"sweat-shops" will affect parties who
are running Turkish baths9-Boston
Bulletin.
No wonder the swine ran down into
the sea. Is there anything more rash
than rasher of bacon ?-Binghamton
Republican.
High-school Teacher-"Why do come
dies always end with marriageW Pu-
pil-"Because that is where the tragedy
begins. LA Figaro.
"Who is that across the street," ooh,
that's very close friend of mine"
'Indeedm ayes, he never lends me a
cent. t."-Texas siftings.
"Waiter, this steak is much smaller
than the one l had yesterday. How's
that "Oh, it comes from smaller
ox."-Fliegende Blatter.
Raving-Is Parsons as much of
bibiiomaniac as ever?" "Ycs. He paid
$500 to get his own book published last
summer. .'-Brooklyn Life.
1t is often the case that the women
who give their children romantic names
have husbands who do not know now to
spell them. .-Atchison Globe.
Humanity appears to be very unequal
ly divided between those who can't stand
prosperity and those who can't get any
to stand.-Binghamton Republican.
"Do you wear your sunniest smiles
when you want to get an unusual favor
from your husbqnd?n "No; l wear my
briniest tears. Yarmouth Register.
The two-headed boy may not have so
many corns in proportion to his sizo as
other boys, but he must have great
deal more toothache. -Binghamton Re-
publican.
Oficer-''Privatc Huber, how is q
soldier to behave when he comes in con-
tact with a civiianl" Soldier-"That
depends on how the civilian behaves" J"
Texas Siftings.
She-"What is that little silver design
on your lapell" He-"Examine it. !"
She he-'It's a tiny tree with an axe lying
near" He-"Exactly. 1t means that
/ only need to be aXed. .'-Pittsburg
Bulletin.
Mrs. Childers (at 3A.MJ--"Charles,
something's the matter with baby's arm.
Hear how he criesi Perhaps his arms
asleep" Mr.. Childers-''ls it1 Then
don't wake it up-perhaps it will spread
to the rest of him"-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
Stern Father-"Are you aware, sir,
that my daughter has always been ac-
customed to every luxury that money
could buyi" The Young Man-"Yes;
but bless you, that won't make any diff
ference with me. I'd just as lief mar
ry that kind OF girl as any other. ~
Chicago Tribune.
An American lady, visiting Paris, was
continually interested in the smart little
boys, in white caps and aprons, who GS-
liver the wares of the pastry cooks. One
day she said to one of these boys, who
had brought her some cakes: 'Ah, 1
suppose you get the benefit of one Of
these cakes yourself sometimes" "What
do you mean, madam "You eat a
cake now and thenl" "Eat theml Oh,
no, madame, that wouldn't do. | only
lick EN- as come along !'-Argonaut.
A Montana mau has invented a ranch
snow plow, to be used in scmpiug the
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