The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-01-26

S~
Hello! Mr.. Editor.
R.-"Hello! Mr.. Bilkins."
B-"How are your folks?'
R-"Haven't got any"
B.-"Why, what is the matter2'
Rail my people have gone on
before They are members of the
Alliance, and don't propose to wait on
such slow coaches"
B.-"They are right. What in the
dickens is the use of waitin' always On
slow people"
Rim waiting for the millennium.
You and Mrs. BilkIns say it is close at
hand"
BIT is, but it won't come until
the Alliance reforms are put in opera
ton. Then the lion and the lamb, the
farmer and the merchant, the banker
and the editor, can all lie down to-
gether."
Rim ready to go ahead then at
any time. I thought we would have
to wait until the bosses made politics
pure"
B.-"Well, if you do that you will
be older than Methusala an Noah an
Jacob all put together. Blamed if the
end of time don't come long before
they get through with the job"
R.-You are mistaken. They r
hard at work now in Washington, and
you will hear something drop before
the crickets sing, We won't get home
till morning, this summer
B.-"Maybe you are right about
somethin' droppin', but it won't be any
good legislation. SIGH men as John
Sherman an Carlisle are in the ma
jority up there, an nothin' good can
come out of 80 much evil"
R.-"What SIS wrong with Messrs.
Sherman and Carlisle2"
B.-'Nothin', only one is the biggest
rascal the sun eyer shined on, the
other is the biggest drunkard. Neither
of them do anything in the interest of
the Masses"
R.-"You are too hard on our able
representatives. The people have en-
cOuraged them in their wrong-doing
and drinking by repeatedly re electing
them to important positions. The peo-
pie are to blame"
B-Reckin you you are right. I've
bin guilty myself. I've voted for men
that was not fit myself"
R-"Why did you do it?"
B.-"WelI, the papers kept sayin'
they were the ablest men the State
had, an went on to tell of the noble
deeds they had done for the party"
R.-"But haven't you found out that
doing so much for the party keeps
them from doing anything for the peo-
ple?"
B.-"I reckin that is so. They just
keep humpin' themselves for the party
an lettin' the Old Nick get the people"
R.-"Did you ever read in a party
organ that any representative had done
anything in the last twenty five years
for the people 2"
Binary time. 1 reckin it is
against the law fer them to do any
thing for the people. Say, hitch my
phone to Senator Ransom"
R.-"All right"
B.-'Hello! MI. Ransom. Hello!"
Senator R.-"Why, good morning,
Mr.. Bllkins, delighted to hear from
you"
B.-"Say, Senator, what are you do
ing?"
Senator R.-'Oh! I'm doing my best
to get an appropriation to clean out
Huckleberry Creek, in the Eastern
part of the State. This is very impor-
tant to my party in North Carolina"
Dust as 1 expected. Hitch me
to Senator Vance,"
Hello, Senator Vance, what are you
up to-
Senator V.-"GIad to hear from you,
Mr.. Bilkins. OH / have been hard at
work to get money appropriated to
build a monument at Guilford Battle
Ground. This j" very important and
will do much to solidify the Democratic
party in my State"
B.-"Zeb's voice sounds familiar.
But I'm surprised he amt a hammerin'
the tariff an the internal revenue.
Hitch me to Speaker Crisp"
Hello! Mr.. Crisp, I want to know
what you are a doin' fer the good ov
the party"
Speaker Crisp.-"I'm just recover
ing from a severe attack of the grip.
So far I have done but little. But my
policy shall be to unite the different
factions of the party and get things in