The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1892-03-23
I'm a Boss with a Capital b.

column and two-thirds in explaining to
his subjects that he is not such tyran-
nical old caliph as the obstreperous
Faithful at Damascus and Mecca would
have folks believe. The royal mani
festo is web of fiction and fact, so
skillfully woven that it is difficult for
the unsophsticated to clearly discern
just where the fact leaves off and the
fiction begins. After the comments
all over Arabia upon the meeting of
the Select Faithful at the home of the
calipb, and the decision to hold the
next annual conclave at Bagdad, the
Commander clearly saw that he must
efface from the minds of his subjects
the suspicion that he was a bold bad
Boss with a capital B.
After scouting the idea that the call
ing of the convention at Bagdad was
the result of chicanery and intrigue,
Hiram AL Raschid remarks, naively:
1T was a very full meeting of the COM
mttee, and the matter was thoroughly dis
cussed, that discussion having, however,
been temperate and without acrimony, not
withstanding representations that have
been made to the contrary"
Passing over the unassaiable fact
that it was a" full meeting" (this was
probably after the grand vizier had
worked the punch bowD, we learn that
acrimony was conspicuous by its alb
sence. The calm that obtained was as
unbroken as golden day in June.
"If after every tempest come such Gains,
May the winds blow till they have wakened DEATH"
A specimen of the calm was noticed
when Effendi Meldon of Damascus
arose and stated that he could prove by
affidavits that Grand Pasha " Brad "
Smalley of the windy city on the Red
Sea had stated, on his word of honor as
an Arabian gentleman, that he would
give his assurance that the next con-
vention should be held at Damascus,
if the brother (Effendi Aldrich of Wood
ford) would allow his resolution to be
amended. 1t was also calm when Ex-
Sheik John Robinson was pitched into
for voting in favor of Bagdad while
proxy for Effendi Aldrich.
Wading few more cubits through the
royal manifesto, we learn that it will be
"no dshonor to go down in open fight, .
as it will cause Hiram al Raschid "nc
personal grief or disappointment, but
be relief" This would seem to in
dictate that the Commander of the
Faithful is attempting to hedge, and
that he is not positive as to the result
of the coming convention. The caliph
insists that he bears no malice TOWARD
the kickers of 1890, and has practically
demonstrated it. Why, of course he
has. Effendi Billiard of Underhill
Effendi McGettrick of St. Adams, anC
others, can testify to that. When the
opportunity arises to placate politica
enemy, he would be a poor politician
indeed who would not embrace it, ever
if it involved financial outlay.
eff he Hiram Atkins is not in error
there was no more effective talker agains
him in the convention of 1890 than Senect
Haselton, and yet the Argus and Pdtrio
did everything in its power in 1891 to ait
him in being elected and reelected a.
mayor"
And, pray, what did the Bdgdad Bad
,5o,, 10 Gov IuJna HocaltOp avnapt nit ~
into the infdel Lyman? 1t would dc
that anyway, on general principles
Furthermore, there is large reason tC
doubt that Hiram al Raschid looked TO
= the reelection of Mayor Haselton.
And now we reach the most deli
cious naorceau in the entire manifesto:
"Mr. Atkins has never attempted to con
troll or boss the democratic party of Yer
mont. He has endeavored in all instance
. to ascertain what the democracy desired t.
have done, and has then attempted to d
= just that. If for that he is to be attacked
, and traduced, he contents himself wit
stating the facts"
, Ha! ha! ho ho! and heel hee
Shades of Boss TWEED and John Kelly
AS we ponder DER this ingenious utter
y ance we see, through wreaths of to
8 bacco smoke, the familiar form o
Hiram AL Raschid, Commander of tn
: Faithful, with bottle of Mumm's Elk
: ira Dry in one hand and a stub pen il
the other, humming unto himself tn
- following jocund ditty:
4 "There've been numerous bosses of exceller
quality
!, Famed for their joty,
i Wit or frivoity
-. Many renowned for their statecraft and polity,
" All of them great In the highest degree.
But whether acclaimed for their wondrous sagacit
l., Greed and rapacty,
Truth mendacity,
@ However huge their punch bowls capacity,
Il None of them all holds candle to me.
When in state In my sanctum chair,
y Boss Tweed would declare,
q In despair
That he never could raise,
= In his palmest days,
A cinch which with mine would compare.