davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

Levy Court Commissioner Jolls is lay.
ing his pipes In two directions. II he
cannot be county treasurer he would
like to be commissioner from the Fifth
district. BE was a long while getting
into the swim, but now be hates to get
ous.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

IT required an order from the Home
Secretary Of England to allow Mrs.
Osborne, now In prison, to purchase a
tooth brush.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

IF President Harrison had known the
enervated condition Of the British Army
he would have sent a more warlike mes-
sage
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

A sELF.aADE man should always
assume the responsibility for his bad job.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

John J. Gallagher and solomon Hersey
are now playing a political game Of
whist. An is quiet along the POtomRc
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

Seventh ward Republicans will name Z
delegate to the state convention anC
committeeman on April %.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23
POLITICAL NOTES.

IL is a dumb negro who does not know
the way from Corruption Hall to the
county tax Office
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

IL Chicago doesn't see everything she
wants. she win ask for it.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23
wANAmAKER's

PHILADELPHIA, Saturday, April 70, 1922.
Tile wsafkeS to-day ss hksky
10 be clear.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

Ottawa, Ohio. Nervine Il the quick remedy for
Sleeplessness, Nervous Prostratiou. Epilepsy St.
Nitus' Dance, Opium Habit. Nervous Dyspepsia,
Hyeteria, Convulaions, Neuralgia, Paralysis. etc.
Thousands testify. Trial Bottle, elegant Book
Free At druggists. Miles Medical Co. Elkhart, Ind.
Evening journal., 1892-04-23

The following doggerel is written on
the wall Of Corruption Hall:
"Thirty days hath September.
April, June and November,
March has only thirty.one,
The nan who madeit Is a son -of-a-gun."
Evening journal., 1892-04-23
= sew what We RID.

We Sew What We Rip.
Fred. q. Hodges carpet cleaning works
Thirteenth and Scott sts Phone SAL
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
WIT AND WISDOM.
Coincidence is the whisper Of Cod

Coincidence is the whisper Of Cod
J. r. Miller. ~ Ga. ,,hs.,
There are people who kill others
with their influence as surely as they
could doit with poison.-Rams Horn.
Misery has been defined as small
boy with a new pair of boots and no
mnd-puddles to wade inn. y. Irio-
unc. tsf -
johnnie Wyatt says "many man
is his own worst enemy, but doesn't
realize it until he tries to shave him.
self"
-Jacson says that the man who
cl.;,,s that lectures aren't what they
used tb be must be a widower. -Elmlra
Gazette.
The June bug makes moro noise
than a wasp, but he does not command
half as much respect. ect.-HinShamton
Republican.
Life alone can impart life, and
though we should burst, we can only
be valued as we make ourselves valua'
b,c.-Emcrson.
-Because a man doesn't cry when he
grows older is not n sign that he has no
reason to; it is becaused he has learned
the uselcssncss OF it.
Most of those persons who think
they are not appreciated would be IN n
sorry plight if there We're no mercy in
the world. journal
There is nothing more disgracetu'
than that an old man should have moth
ing to produce, rs proof that he has
lived long. except his ycars.-Senccs.
Mr.. Brown was looking for
"mud." but in this dictionary the letter
'.m" is torn out. MIR. Fog.-Why not
look under water? THAT'S the P'ace
to find mud.
There are people who seem to have
an idea that they attract attention in
Heaven for their piety every time they
buv n dish of ice cream at a church
festival-Ram's Horn.
-English Traveller Ito Irish railway
porter labelling luSgage)-Don't YOU
keep brush for that work. porter!
Portcr-Shure. yer Homer, our tongues
is the only Instruments were allowed;
but they're aisy KEEP wet, yer Homer!
UIint taken. )-Tid-lHtS
Judge Ito young woman charged
with shoplifting)-Whcrc do you live
Young wOman: in the north end or back
bay? Defendant--why do you wish te
know? Judge Gmpatiently)-How an
to tell whether this IS plain shop
lifting or klcptomania?-Bosto News
Each of us as we travel the way o
life has the choice according to ou
working of turning all the voices Of ma
ture into one song of rejoicing, or o
withering and quenching her symptom!
into a fearful withdrawn silence of con
dcmnation or into n crying out of he
stones and a shaking Of her dust agains
us.-Ruskin.
The English of It.-Harry-Where'
Chollic these days? Fred-Oh. he
taken a position in a swagger tailo
shop as Il cutter Harry-Why, h
doesn't know the first thing abou
cutting a suit of clothes to fit. Fred
OF course he doesn't. That's how h
got the place. The tailor wants t
make reputation for turning out suit
of genuine English fit, Cont you know
| bet. oil Free Press
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

solemnity by Catholics aad Protestants
alikc-John Nugent, who was a notori-
ous open scoffer at all religion, invited
a number of kindred spirits to join him
in n dinner and carousal at his house in
Kingston which was situated opposite
to one of the churches. The dinner was
to be an carly one. because, as John an
nounced to his friends, he had an urgent
call to go out into the country that
night, which would necessitate his
leaving them 1t ten o'clock.
On the vile character of that festive
scene we-need not dwell. In fact no
one knows just what did take place, and
in the presence of the terrible truth that
sellowed it would be useless TO draw on
tie imagination to fill in the hiatus.
At ten John rose from the table, called
for his horse, and prepared for the
iourrcv ont into the darkncss-bnt lit
tie voting the outer darkness into
which he was presently to take the final
plungeI Whilst donning his hat and
riding cloak. he with jovial hospitality
bade his friends remain and continue
their spree; and then, being ready, he
proceeded to pledge them in final
bumper. This done, the man, who was
| just trifle unsteady from the unusual
amount of liquor consumed-for he was
4 -remnrlSab bly, abstemious man--dived
| down under the sofa and drew forth a
black leather satchcl.
As he roso unsteadily TO his feet and
| thrust his head through the strap, one
| II ths gucsss exSlsimedi
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
He Had studied.

It is exceedingly hard to find men
who have spent more years in study
than they can remember, and yet who
cannot read the simplest colloquial book
nor repeat a page of what they have
studied.
A few months ago the writer met in .
dispensary a man who seemed to be
examining his tally card with a minute
attention which indicated that he rec
ognized the characters. The latter were
few and simple, merely indicating his
surname and number, Wang, Num-
Der 1885,"
On being asked il he knew the char
acters by sight he replied that he recog
nized about half of them"
And have you studied at school2"
"Oh, yes
How long have you studied?"
Twelve ycars!'-Chinese Character
isticS.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
No Intimi dAtlon.

It is related that at the bar of one OF
the Australian colonies barrister con-
cludcd his speech thus: "At great
length, gentlemen of the jury, ! have
stated the reasons which cause me to
believe in tho prisoners innocence and
to regard him as personal friend.
Gentlemen, the prisoner in the dock is
my very dear personal friend, and if he
falls by your hands | will avenge his
honor and my loss AS a gentleman OF
an ould Irish family, who can snuff can
dies with n revolver at twelve PAGES, I
call upon you to place my friend right
in the eyes of society. leave the case
in your hands, feeling satisfied that you
will not accuse me of employing the
language of menace, when1 have done
no more than hint at some of the natur-
al consequences of a verdict adverse to
my conscientious opinion. n."-National
Tribune
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

turned the heads Of the people who
were engaged in it. They talk Of maxi
ing it an annual function. and repeat
ing the success every year o tho sfroit
OF thcs astoss' fund- which is : most
wbrthy chnr3ty sand tho advertisement
-of AT ccnhected with Il. which is-not
quite so lnudable an object. It Is all
very we'll to talk about it but it is hard
" possible thaSsthe a6Scess Of tliHycar
could be repcated. New Yorkeis ire a
good deal Ike he people of Athans in
the days Of the Apostle Paul. they arc
continually searching after new
thing. The actors fund fair did very
we'll thisstime, merchants contributed
goods with liberaiity and the public
purchased with prodigality. The gild'
ed youth Of the town and their nickel.
plated imitators attended, every one,
and swelled the gate. receipts and spent
their, few dollars in the vain hope OF
making the personal acquaintance OF
real actresses. Another year this
would an be changed. The leading
people in the profession, with few ex-
ccptions, did not participate very ac-
lively this year. The next attempt
would result in an aggregation Of un-
known soubrettes, passe ingenues
and second-rate stars seeking advertise
ment, A similar idea was tried in Lon
don several years ago and while the
first fair or .'bazar," as they call them
over there, was "patronized by royalty"
they steadily ran down In tone year by
year. until the last one, which believe
was held two, years ago., was merely
meeting place for would-be dudes, the
yonng women Of tho ballet. and the
demi monde.
But the actors fund fair In New
York was hlghly respectable. There
was little temptation for even the most
stage-struclk chappie to try filtration
with the weird sisters who presided
over the stalls. 1t was, taking is all in
all. q great event. Men about town
talked about It for six months in joyous
anticipation. Then when it opened the
newspapers gave il two or three col.
umns every day Of unlimited a;ad hy-
periodical gush. in which every woman
was described as beautiful, brilliant and
fascinating. and every actor as a marvel
of wit, geniality and talent. and afteH
it was closed it became tho subject OF
half regretful. half disappointed gossip.
dividing conversational honors with DR..
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16


boxes, not in the booths.
which deserves the hearticst commenda-
lion. No highway robbing was per
mitted, correct change was given in all
eases snd no one. was urged to buy
things which he did not want The
two reasons which make fairs a
nuisance to most men are the petty
swin6flcs which the lady managers per-
petrate ipsthesnAmc. OF charity and the
Fefsiaeptx efforts made to saddle ali
sorts Of impossible Aknicl<nacks upon
9hy unfort1nate who seems kindly dis
Roked. "a mnnnay, not grudge giving
I've OF 1ftg dollars to a worthy object,
Sdt he. .Qbiecxs 10 paying dollar bill
Mr.a five-cent rosebud and getting no
nAdnge, or being badgcred into buying
three sxsr peur dollars' worth of fine
fashions and Tides which he can havs
no possible. nse for This scheme oi
pstty buccanecring was strictly Tor.
Baden by the management of the
motors fund fair. and, in consequence,
n, ,sman could wander around the place
and bay or not, rs he felt disposed
!. For the benefit of ladies who contem
plate getting up fairs would say that
notwithstanding the fact that the fail
was run on square business principles
! sxithout cxorbitant prices and without
: bunco, IL nctfctl something like one
: hundred and -sixty-eight thousand dol
lars for the fund
~ ve, psy succcss Of this fa;siha rathel
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Parkhurst. baseball and Judge Morrow.
who won the Brooklyn handicap.
Curiously enough. though he has been
making vigorous efforts to keep before
tbs public, DR.. Parkhurst seems to be
less and less talked of. After the first
ripple of surprise was over Judge Nor
row was accepted as fact, but tho
things which might have happened and
did not happen and the things which
were expected and those which wcro
not expected at the actors fund fair
still form the subject of aftcr-dinner
discourse in clubs and cafes.
ALLAN FoRMAy.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

has come Off since, except the Brooklyn
handicap, to drive it from our minds.
Financially speaking the actors fund
fair wassa great success. Socially it was
Agrewsome humbug. the grave of shat
tered idols, a receiving vault for blasted
hopes. Everybody went to the fair and
everybody came away disappointed.
The press, day after day, devoted
columns to the pretty actresses in
charge of the booths-as matter of
solemn fact the pretty actresses were
distinctly, not in il. A less attractive
collection Of young and middle-aged
women would be difficult to imagine.
The leaders in the profession were
not there because the leadersof the pro-
fession were busy earning ther bread
and butter, playing in various theaters
all over the country. There were two
or three like Agnes Booth, who is q
charming woman. though no longer
young; Aunt Louise Eldridge, and
Georgia Cayvan, who were tolerably
regular in their attendance. Then there
were Estella Clayton and others of her
ilk who have achieved some newspaper
notoriety, and the remainder We're. for
the most part, young women unknown
to the stage, girls with short hair,
strange gowns and eccentric manners,
girls who actediin the fair as they
would on the stage, giddy, gushing and
self-conscious. twas great disappoint-
ment to the chappies who had looked
forward to the fair as a means of max.
ing the acquaintance of some Of the
silk lighted divinities of the footlights
whom they have been worshiping from
distance. Now girl looks very dif.
ferently when arraycd in tights, artis-
tically made up" and under the favor.
ing glamor of the footlights, to what
she does in ordinary street or house
dress and exposed to the brilliantly
searching rays of the electric lights:
and stage manners are as outre in pri
vate life as stage clothes. The theatrical
profession appears to have a peculiar
effect upon the workers in it. OFF
the stage, in company of their friends,
they may be--and often arc-the most
delightful and magnificent companions,
but let them feel that they are before
an audience, whether it be on the street
or at an entertainment like the actors
fund fair, and the stage mannerIsms are
bound to crop out. The giddy affecta-
tions of the now soubrette are notice
be and Objectionable enough on the
stage. but they seem all the more notice
able and objectionable when placed in
sharp contrast with the calm saroir
fare of the New York society girl.
fancy that a good many of the chap
pies were disillusionized at the fair, for,
to do the profession Justice, the army
of actresses was by no means a repre-
sentative one and society was out in
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

.Fsred Just right
Liver, Stomach, and Bowels, by
DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They
do it in just the right way, too
by using Natures own methods.
That's why they're better than the
dreadful, old fashioned pills, with
their gripping and violence.
But they're better in every way.
In size, for instance, and dose.
They're the smallest and the cas-
lest to take only one little Pellet
is needed for gentle laxative
three for \ cathartic. They cleanse
and regulate the system thoroughly
but it's done easily and naturally.
Sick Headache, Bilious Headache,
Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious
Attacks, and all arrangements of
the Liver, Stomach and Bowels are
prevented, relieved, aud cured.
They're the cheapest pill you can
buy, for they're guaranteed to give
satisfaction, or your money is re.
turned. You pay only for value
received.
Something else, that pays the
dealer better, may be offered as
"just as good" Perhaps it is, fol
linn, but it can't be, for you
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Father of the Family-No. John is no:
what you would call a promising boy,
but am going to do the very best for
him. expect to send him to college.
give him full classical course, and let
him choose profession. lie will be
able at least to earn living, with such
a start as that
Guest-iiow about George?
Father with conscious pride)-Ah!
George can take care Of himself. That
boy, sir. is going TO be one of the best
baseball pitchers in this country!-Chi-
ca1o Tribune.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
Guest-iIow about Georcep


wifc-My dear, the very next time
we have n season of opera ! want to go.
acknowledgement. I'll become an
opera manager, if You wish. No doubt
/ can get up n company if try.
"But why should you become man.
ager simply to take me to the opera?'
1T will be cheaper than buying seats,
nv dear."-N. Y. Weekly.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
-My God, man-that things alivoi-

''My God! man-that things alivoe
tt's moving!"
''You're drunk:" Npgent retorted, ~
the same time Turning fcrcely around
on the as,oniahed company. The result:
of this quick movement WAS that instead
OF going over his head the strap slipped
onto his shoulder and the satchcl fell to
the ground with curious thud. Tho
lock or spring gave, and the bag fell
open. 5fa sF H' Ff. 5rt
Now occurred the terrible tragedy.
From between those yawning black
jaws there sprang forth with lightning
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Lena Lotos-Are you afraid of thun.
der storms?
Jim Hickey-Not so much as am Of
snow storms.
Lena Lotos-And why are you afraid
of snow storms?
Jim Hickey-Bccause have to go up
and shovel of the roof.-Puck.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
A ,yicro.eopio Excuse.

Johnny, here you are at breakfast
with your face unwashcd.''
II know it, mamma; ] saw the little
things that live in water through papa's
microscope last evening. and I'm not
goin' to have them crawlin' over ny
face with their funn. little lsSi"s-
Demorest's Magazine,
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
Wake I'm

Yes wake up to tho danger which threat
ems YOU your kidneys ami bladder are in
active or weak. Don't you know tha, if
YOU fail to mpcl them to action, Br:ght's $
disease or diabetes awaits YOU! Use Hos
tetter's Stomach Bittc.s without delay. 1t
has u most beneficial effect upon the kid
neyS when sluggish, and upon the bowels,
liver, stomach and nervous system.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
Two Heads.

Husband-I don't see why you never
look on both sides of n case.
Wife-I can always trnst you to aob
on the other side. N, y, Weekly,
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

We read OF forchuns bcin' left the rich,
Gus fcllers who mus hustle fer a Hvin,A
And IL minds us that things were al us sich,-
ITO him that hez goose, goslin shell bt
given"
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

DAY. don't like to hear an actor
talk through his hat, do you?
NHeeks-No, nor through that of the
woman who has the stall ahead of ma
Once q Week.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

THE fragrant mint has again made its ap
prarIucc. but. as usual. it. is going all Il
smash Baltimore American.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

SAID Franklin: "Ile who takes 9, vii
takes care Therefore. my son. take care
and do not take a wife. - Boston Tran.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

There is a 3 inc h display advertisement
in this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same -
from The DIR. uartcr Medicine Co. This
house places n Crescent on everything
they make and publish. Look for II, sen1
them the name OF the word and they will
return you book, beautiful Autographs or
SAMPLES FREQ.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

BEAUTY marred by ~ bad complexion ma!
be restored by Glcnns Sulphur Soap.
Hills lair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

PEOPLE generally get what they deserve
without much effort, but they have to be
exceedingly Industrious if they servre Al
they ywant.-MilwaakceL journal.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

FvrHY thrifty farmer viii lIeep his LAM
well dressed. but lie has no reason to b.
ashamed OF strawberry atch.-Lowel
Courier.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

TIE Rams Horn is published at Indian
arolis, Indiana, ut 81 so per year.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

THE toddy is the stirring event OF tn
toner's cxistence.-Dallas News.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

"Dors your father keep horsesr' "Well,
not exactly, but hc has the nightmare reg
ularly ',-Philudclphia Record.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

To ne always praising a man has the ef
feet of making those who would be hii
friends become his critics instead.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
"Gernan
Syrup

Regis Leblanc is French Cana
dian store keeper at Notre Dame de
Stanbridge, Quebec, Can, who was
cured of a severe attack ofCongest-
ion of the Lungs by Boschee's Ger
man Syrup. He has sold many a
bottle of German Syrup on his per-
soma. recommendation. fyou drop
him a line he'll give you the full
facts of the case direct, as he did us,
and that Boschee's German Syrup
brought him through nicely. 1t
always will. 1t is good medicine
and thorough in its work. o
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

WE would like to inquire il fishing for
suckers is IN acute or an obtuse angle.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

1'uE professor OF astronomy In q colleg
mess-room is looked upon rs a star boarder
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

WHEN Il man has good horse sense he
doesn't bet on races hepuD
lican.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

HEALTH It'd Birs save weak. nervous mon
s1:irial box lOc Ohio Chemical Co. ,Cincin, 4
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

THE world is full OF people who suppose
tha; the art of conversation consists III aek-
Ing que Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Ir drowsy after Il good nights sleep there
is indigestion aud stoniach disorder which
Bcccham's Pills will cure.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

NOTICE that an amateur fisherman can
tell just as big lies Us a professional
Siftings.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

No, MY dear girl, a cat boat is not neces-
sarily made of pussy willow. - Boston
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

ELrcTRICITY is a great educator. Think
what Il has done o make men SEQ thing in
IA new, llyht.-Elmira Gazette.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

NJ. l. THOMPSON & Co, Drnggists, Cou.
dcrsport, Pa, say Halls Catarrh Cure ID
ts.e best and only sure curc for catarrh they
ever sold. Druggists sell it, s5c.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

SSEEzEs are like misfortunes-they sci
dom conc singly.-Boston Transcript
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
The lIost pleasant way

The Most Pleasant way
or preventing the grippe, colds. headaches,
and fevers is to use the liquid laxative
remedy Syrup OF Figs, whenever tho :ys-
tom needs u gentle, vet effective cleansing.
To be beuciiicd one must get the true rem
cdy manufactured by. the California Fig
Syrup Co. only. For sale BY all druggists
in SOC. and 81 bottles.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

WHEN family row Is made public there
Is usually pretty good reason for blaming
both sidcs.-Puck.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Rivers-This new comet, it seems, has
eight tails. What use has ascomet for
eight tails? 4-=-.
Banlxs-Perhaps it was fly time when
IL started out.-Chicago Tribune.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

THE wonderful check OF man sometimes
News
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

"YEs, every man has his price," but h
can't make his grocer agree with him.
Columbus Post
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

CHARACTER is what q man IL whom he
thinks nobody is watching Mm.-RAns
Horn.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

WHEN IL ny lights on sheet of sticky
paper he realizes that he is better Of
Singhamton Leader.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

BORE usually makes q big hole IN . bus,
ay-Boston Gazette.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

THE Justice may not enjoy himself even
when h" is having a line uu.c.-Giens Falls
Ropullitlu.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

Impecunious Fricnd-No; always used
a telescope. Chicago News. g.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

SEA storics-The decks.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

ArA1Lon's goose-the dude.-N. Y. Her-
aid
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

II poor relatives had their way, they
would not have any rich uncles very long.
-DallaS News.
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16
Close as He Ever Got.

Microscopist-Did you ever look at .
thousand-dollar bill through a micro
Feliciana sentinel., 1892-07-16

>C,rcr nud plcniv-Halr the pie.
Nil dogs OF war are not Yves PoInterA