Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-11-10
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LauShable.
Some Sharp Sayings.

THE manicure motto is, cash on the
nal. -Ringhamton Leader.
CADMus was the first postman. He
Transcript.
THE man with plenty of fat mort
cages lives on the lien of the land. -
Dallas News.
IT isn't the Eighty poet who is re-
sponsible for all the fugitive verses.
Boston Courier.
IF any young man wants to find out
what the wild waves are saying let
him go to sea, Picayunc.
A BIG man groans most when &c
gets sick because there is more Of him
to suffer. -Atchison Globe.
THIS country might bestow on one
Of it's cowboy versiters the title Of
poet-lariat. Washington Star.
AFTER all, the best amateur actor
is the one who pretends to enjoy a
piano recital. Elmira Gazette.
WHEN one buys an electrical publ
cation he wants to be sure that it is
the current issue. Rochester Post.
ANYTHING new on foot?" "Ycs."
what is it," Our baby He's just
learned to walk. Lawrence Ameri-
can.
WHEN a man is doing well he mag
ines that he could better if he could
move and pay more rent.
Globe.
as he quicktcmpered?" Quick
tempered? Why, his temper breaks
three records every day. buffalo
Express.
SOME restaurant tablc-cloths are
like a country fair; they display a
little Of everything -Binghamton
Republican.
How SOON the millennium would
come if the good things people in
tend to do tomorrow were only done
to-day. Rams Horn.
WHEN a man finally does give up
and cries, he looks SO much like Il
drunken man that he gets no sym
Dathy Globe.
WHEN man can't find his shirt
button of Sunday morning his wife
is apt to have trouble with his choler
-Binghamton Republican.
II SEE villain in your face" said a
Judge to q prisoner May it please
your Honor" said the latter, that is
! d personal reflection. Tid-Bits.
Il ONLY got a nominal fee in that
case" said Brief $50 the plaintiff
said. He said your charges were
phenomenal. > Black and White.
GOOD minister-Do you like to go
to church, my boy? Good boy-Yes,
sir. but I'd like it better if they
didn't sing such tired tunes.-Good
News.
NAMED your boy John after your
self, Mr.. Barrows?" mo, Mrs. Tom
son. We have named him James
after prolonged family row. liar
| per's Bazaar.
"IT is dreadful, Maria, that yoa
| always will have the last word. "
"Please, ma'am, how am / to know
| that you have nothing more to say"
German paper.
NIsITOR-"Is this an old home
stead or modern imitation Of an
tiquity?" Tenant-"Oh, it's new
brand new The roof leaks in forty
places. New York Weekly.
Mrs. HoaAN-"F wat seem to be the
matter wit Danny?" Mrs. Grogan-
Hes a-sufferin' from fwat the story
books call unrequested love, poor
boy. "-Indianapolis Journal.
IT doesn't make out case against
Uncle Sam Of wanting politeness
that in the war Of the revolution he
didn't say to England, Excuse the
liberty take. "-Phi!adclphia Times.
WENT THE WHOLE BILL. What's
this card in your pocket, john"
asked his wife. what? oh, before
l went to lunch that was bill Of
fare Now it's my table Of contents
-Lifes Calendar.
THERE goes Prof Pogglethorpe.
He's one of the most consistent men
of the day." "Indeed:" "Yes; for
! instance, when he wants to brood he
goes and sits in the chicken house. -
Philadelphia Record.
NEIGHBoR-"And SO you have
| little baby at your house?" Is it a
boy or girl?" Little Boy-"Mamma
thinks it's boy, but guess it'll turn
| out girl. It's always crying bout
nothin'. "-Pittsburg Press.
THEY had been discussing the pro-
nunciation OF "oleomargarine," and
| finally agreed to leave 1t to the
waiter, but he hedged. Sure" said
he, Il have to pronounce it butter or
lose my Job. "-Indianapolis Journal.
$50 OUR old school friend is prac-
ticing law" said the man who was
visiting his native town. 1Yep."
as he criminal lawyer" well, 1
don't know as you could call him that
He's managed to keep from gettins
WY