Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-03

himself once or twice, and manipulated .
few syndicate presentiments for popular
use. After you once get the combination
you can out-dream "Peter Ibbetson" with
one eye shut.
Ips Good Thing to Prophesy.
At the same time, my son, do not decry
prophetic utterance. It is good practice
for you to read history, and learning what
men and nations have done, try your hand
at forecasting what other men and nations
will do under similar circumstances 1t
isn't too often you will make bulls eye;
you may feel proud if you make a few
good line shots in your lifetime, and can
prove that they weren't scratches. And, of
of course, to give your prophecies any value
at all, you must make them public long IN
advance of the event.
Nobody, not the most credulous person in
all the world, places the slightest credence
in the inspired outbursts of a post facto
prophet He is salways a fraud, and USUALLY
liar, having never made, or dreamed Of
making the predictions he saws he did.
But l like to see you try your hand at it.
I've.made my shots; I didn't always miss
the target; oh, no; I made few cutters.
And even when missed the target entirely,
I usually hit something else; the barn over
the way, or a wandering cow in the next
field who happened to be straying within
the range of my prophecy. 'Tis better to
have prophesied at great European war
or the end of the world, and hit COW. than
never to have prophesied at all.
But, YOU say, sIf 1 prophesy publicly
and don't come within thousand years of
anything, people will make fun of me, and
If / keep my prophecy dark until after the
event, they won't believe I ever proph-
esied"
Getting the Ear Of ths World.
Well, no and yes. If you fail it doesn't
necessarily follow that they will make fun
of you; the chances are they won't paw the
slightest attention to you and won't know
that you ever yet prophesied, unless you
get up on the city wall and bawI yourself
hoarse reminding them of it. You may feel
highly honored if the great hurrying, noisv,
busy world pays enough attention to you
to listen to you at all And if it remembers
what you said long enough to poke fun at
you about it, why, bless you, my boy, you
have at least secured a hearing. And that
is triumph
Go down to Washington see the new
member, the Hon. John Raw, of Crudeville,
Dough county, whom the chance of the
drawing has given the best seat in the
House: see him standing on his feet until
his legs ache, bawling "Mr. Speaker" until
the ventilators rattle; the Speaker slowly
raises his eyes; the Hon. Mr.. Raw patience
and persistence is about to triumph; hope
thrills his fainting heart and nerves his fail
ing voice. With one last despairing effort
he bellows "Mr. Speaker as though all
the loud sounding bulls on Bashan's hills
were roaring the drinking Chorus From
The Guzzlers," and in gentle tones the
Speaker, glancing calmly far over the head
of the bowling dervish from Dough county,
recognizes quiet man away back in the
shadowy obscurity of the last seat in the
chamber, who hasn't said ANYTHING. Com
slider Johnnie Raw's ways and be wise, nv
son. The first thing for you to do is to
catch the Speakers eye.
Prophecy on Private Track.
Your second surmise is correct You can't
make record for prophecy on q private
track with invited witnesses of your own
choosing. These private tracks are fire.
quently little fast, and the private watch
little slow. Many horse has trotted in
2:o9A on private track, that got shut clear
out by three-minute colt when they trot-
ted at the "County Fair"
But you don't prophesy necessarily for
the appreciation of the public, my son.
Never mind what people say. If you have
something to prophesy, lift up your voice
and cry aloud. They'll listen to You by
and by. That is, if you prophesy concern
ing things that concern them. People don't
care to hear about the end of the world.
That don't concern them very much; they
all know when that is coming.
The end of the world will come to You
and to every man who hears your voice,
sometime within the next hundred years.
That much we all know. No man now liv-
ing will see the year 1898, except few old
liars who are not yet born, but who intend, !
by the assistance of the local editors of their
town papers, to live to the ripe old age of
11S years. So if you have anything to say,
it is time for you to begin. Longer you put
it off, more trouble you will have catching
the speakers eye.
ROBERT j. BURDErTE.