The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-09-27
THR BoWsRRs.
The Head Of The Family Makes n Pur-
chase--But it Wasn't Exactly
What Mrs. b. Had Expected.

What Mrs. B. Had Expected.
When Mr.. BoWser came home tht
other evening he had . package under
his arm, and az he entered the sitting
room he carefully placed it on a chair
and said:
"Nrs. Bo user, no one is to put hand
on this till after dinner"
"You haven't been buying another
fire escapes" she queried.
"Never you mind" he replied, with
a chuckle of satisfaction.
1t isn't a new machine for destroying
microbes, is itF'
Don't you worry about microbes.
No use of your trying to guess what it
is, for you couldn't do it in fifty years,
though it's something for you"
"For me9"
"That's what I said; but you can't
see it till after dinner"
"Mr. Bowser, you r awfully kind
and thoughtful How good of you-to
surprise me with a new wrapl Just
let me see one little corner of it."
"Not a h~airbreadthI" shouted Mr..
Bowser as he seized her and went
waltzing around the room. "It isn't
a wrap, but nevertheless I hope it will
prove a pleasant surprise. Come on to
dinner"
During the meal Mr.. Bowser was so
jolly and laughed SO often and so
heartily that the girl looked at Mrs.
Bowser in a puzzled way and evidently
desired to warn her that some grave
calamity was about to happen. When
they had finished and returned to the
sitting room MI. Bowser picked up the
package and said:
Here it is, and I hope you'll feel as
good over it as I do. I've been a
whole week selecting it, but 1 finally
got a beauty"
"You r so good!"
"Not at all. It's a husbands bust
ness to make life pleasant for his wife.
If 1 wasn't so Internally busy I'd bring
in a little surprise of this kind on you
every week or two. Open the box"
"I-I'm 80 nervousl You open It'll"
Nervous! Well here goes. What
do you think of that7'
And Mr.. Bowser tore off the paper
which concealed a bandbox, removed
the cover and held up to view a bon
net. AS Mrs. Bo started at it
without uttering a word, he said:
Its a Jim dandy and no mistake!
I went into a dozen different places
before I got suited. Don't she knock
the socks of'n anything you ever had
before9 You'd have gone down and
spent ten days and tried IN a thou
sand bonnets before you were suited,
while it took me just seventy seconds
to buy this after 1 saw it. What's the
matter2'
"N-nothingl"
"Then what are you turning all
sorts of colors fore Isn't she a beauty9"
"Yes-very nice, but -
"Mrs. Bowser, what on earth is the
matter! Here's a black bonnet, beau
tifully jetted, trimmed up in the
brightest sort of red, with elegant
lavender ties, and it cost me twenty
three dollars. What's wrong with it,"
sit isn't my-my SHAPED" she stam-
mered.
"Your SHAPED What has your
shape got to do with a bonnetI Are
you too fat or too lean7"
Ct mean the brim is too wide, I
couldn't wear those colors with my
complexion"
"Your complexion! What has your
complexion got to do with a twenty
three dollar bonnet9"
"And those tiesl Even a colored
woman couldn't wear lavender"
"Why, durn my buttons, I had the
milliner to take off the other ties and
put these on, and I paid her a dollar
extra to make the changed"
MIR. Bowser, you are awfully good
and kind, but I can't wear that bonnet.
I should look like q fright in it. You
see, you"-
81 see, I am an ass, Mrs. BowserF'
he shouted, Is he waved the bonnet on
high. $50 is any other husband who
plans a pleasant surprise for his wife!
Here I've u my COMPOUNDED legs off
and paid out twenty-three big dollars,
and you talk about complexion and
lavender and colored womenl'
"Please don't be angry, Mr.. Bowser.
You see no man can select a bonnet
for a lady. There has got to be har-
mony between -
Harmony, ehG She's got to prAnce
around for two weeks and try on
everything she Sees till she can match
her eyewinkers, eyebrows, the bump
IN her me- ond The ninnnln an her