Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-04-09
WIT AND HUM0R.

y
- Bosom Courier.
You can't tell very much about what
a preacher is doing for God by the
size OF his salary RAMS Horn
Men who stamp around among the
stars IN the pulpit are not much ao-
count IN helping people toward heaven.
-EaDl'S Horn.
II is all nonsense to doubt the story
about the whale swallowing Jonah.
He not only did it, but he got along
swimmingly.-LotCcH Courier,
Its purity hare to have to work fur
Ia liyin,' said enc tramp to another
Yes; people seems to be gottin hard
er to work every day" Washington
Star.
Fond Mamma (anxiously) II saw
you playing with that new boy across
the street Is he good boyp' Young
HopefVl-"Yes, regular chump."-Good
Noes
Barker, Tn a Selt-made man, and
don't you forget it" "No, Tompsy |
won't But, say you don't 90 in for
pretty work much, do youP"-M T.
Herald.
Joblots There is one thing about
heaven that shall like immensely"
DR.. Thirdly What is thatPp job
lots-"it won't be closed on Sunday"
~ J.. Herald
Every body knows a woman is hard
to please. She likes the matrimonial
harness, but doesn't like TO be hitohod
up with man who is strapped Btng-
hamton Republican.
Briggs u thought the minister
lived next door to the church," Griggs
He did But the bell woke him
up 80 early in the morning he had TO
moye."--LVe.
Visitor 81 hear your new preacher
is o man OF indomitablo will and won
dorful energy" Hostess "lndced he
is, He has started in to convert the
choir. ~ y. Weekly.
III the spirits come tonight said
the medium, "wo will hear them
think sop asked one ofthe company
"Yes; it is a cold night and they won't
come without raps. ~ y. Press
A New York Chinaman is TO tell the
public in a lecture why lac remains n
heather. 1t would cmbarrass some
men who attend church regularly TO
DO the same Philadelphia Record.
Hockey II do object to having coll
ored policemen on the force pokey--
"And whyP" Hockey Because it's
hard enough to find white one ut
night, much less dark one. ~ Cloak
JolHpak
A now star has been discovered in
the heavens, but as its appearance is
unaccompanied by any scandal or
stories of lost diamonds it is not likely
to attract much attention. Boston
| Transcript.
"My dear" said n fond mother TO
! her boy, "whv do you not play with
| the little Jones boy" "On, hes hor-
rid, He says bad, naughty words,
Just like papa" Reform will begin at
home in the family.
Mother u don't see why you and
your husband should have SO much
| trouble You don't belong TO different
| churches, do your" Daughter NO,
mother Mother "Then there is no
excuse for lighting like cats and dogs.
GOOD NeUs.
operate Manager 81 can't afford to
| pay you over $l7 a week and expenses,
and you must permit me 20 announce
YOU rs receiving $1,000 n night"
Madame Highnote Make it so, and
YOU may announce me at $1,000 a
night. ~ Puck.
ave should like an article from your
pen, reverend sir,as you are the pastor
of our most fashionable church" up
on what subject" Anything that
has como under your observation"
Good | will write you an essay upoA
bonnots' Epoch.
Jennie" said tho young woman
| fiercely I'm never going 70 have any
| thing 10 no with another church fair"
"Why notP" "All the young men are
over at the dining-table betting on
who viii get the oyster. Isn't IL scan
dalous?" ~ WASHINGTON STIR.
Watts-"I was sorry / couldn't get
/ to church last Sunday. Might | in
| quire what was the sermonW The
Rev. Mr. Wilgus "My discourse,
Brother Watts, was upon The Rela-
! tion of the Grip Bacillus to Modern
Pessmism. ~ Indianapolis jourHai
lie (tenderly) "Ah. Miss Maria, you
are the one among 1000 altogether
lovely" She (poutiugl 81 don't think
that's bit nice, Mr. ~tockson-Bonds.'
He On surprise) a beg your pardon. "
She (exegetically) why didn't you
say one among 4oJ2 DetroH Tree
Press.
Hungry Higgins wv at do you think
o. dis idee that man is put back on
earth q second time one style o. liyin'
even up the other, sortcr? Weary
! Watkins ooh, dunno II there's
anything IN it, | must "a done q heap
OF hard work when ! was here before. +"
Indianapolis J0urHaL
"What a sweet ehild." exclaimed tho
neighbor Eyes, replied the mother
Hasn't he cunning little nOse'"
"And such funny fat ehceksw And
darling bald heads" "And such fat.
pudgy handsm yes (To her hus-
band) John do you know ! think tho
baby looks more like you every dayP"
N " Sun.