San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1892-04-16
PROFESSIONAL AMENITIES.
The Grievance of the Living Skeleton
and How 1t Was Received.

The Grievance of the Living Skeleton
and How 1t Was Received.
"It's no use," said the living skeleton.
II have tried my best to adapt myself &c
the eXigencies of life in this establishment,
but | can't do it. No one in my position
could do it. / have worn myself to skin
and bone in countless efforts to make
things pleasant for my companions.
have trained down seven ounces avoirdu.
pois per week to please the management.
and have worn black tights, which are
very unbecoming to my form, because the
tattooed lady wanted a neutral background
for her complexion. And what has been
my reward? Harsh words and cutting re,
marks and unfeeling illusions to Antinous
and the Apollo Belvedere. It's too muchW
And the unhappy freak buried his face in
his hands and retired behind his walking
stick.
THAT'S what's the matter" said the
manager, with marked sarcasm. You're
too much. You weigh nearly pound
more than the skeleton dude at Smithers'.
with all his jewelry thrown in. You're
queerin the show"
"What!" cried the living skeleton from
behind his stick you dare to reproach
me with my weight when you know that
it is due to your meanness, your parsimony.
your vulgar, grasping naturel When
three months ago, wanted to get my haiI
cut, didn't you order me not to do so, be.
cause you wanted me to play understudy
TO the Circassian beauty during the dull
season? And didn't you make me let my
nails grow so could do the Wild Man of
Borneo's turn when he had a night off
Didn't you"-
Cheese itr' said the tattooed lady.
you're making the fat woman shake hall
the flesh offer 'er."
didn't tell your" cried the manager.
shaking his fist eXcitedly at the walking
stick, from behind which came sounds as
of sobbing, that ducks a hoodoo? He's
queered the show ever since he come, AL
he'll keep on queerin it as long as he stays
Oh, if there was only more like himi No,
no more like him, but more of his kind.
I'd rather have the fakinest skeleton in the
business than him. He'll bankrupt the
management. He's worse'n the tortoise
boyr'
"Ingrate!" retorted the living skeleton.
"Serpentl Reptilel Iscariotp
"Close yer jaw or yer'll swallow yerself,"
said the wild man, as he brushed his hail
before the necromancer's mirror.
"Be silent, you linkp retorted the liv
ing skeleton. "If Darwin were only here''
whats the matter with the living skel
etonS" asked the modern Samson kindly.
as he carefully pasted together the torn
edges of 1000 pound weight.
Nothing" answered the tattooed lady;
"He's outer sightr'
"Cruell Heartlessp" came from behind
the walking stick.
"Where are your" called the modern
Samson. "Come out and show yourself.
Don't be afraid. / won't let 'em crowd
you"
81 wouldn't mind it so much" said the
living skeleton as he appeared, from his
place of hiding. 'if they'd give fellow a
shadow of "a show"
But you amt got no shadow" said the
tattooed lady tauntingly, "and we're the
show"
Hes not in it," interposed the wild
man.
"I'm just as much part of the show as
any of you," said the living skeleton.
"I'm good deal more of it than some OF
you. In fact, | may say that | am the
framework of the establishment" And he
drew himself up proudly.
81 'clar t goodness, Brudder Bones, yo'
meks me laughr said the wild man, who
had once been very successful in the burnt
cork branch of his profession-was in fact
regular burnt corker.
Don't use the vernacular, Whiskers,"
said the modern Samson cuttingly; ''it's
bad form"
'So's yer friend" retorted the wild man.
Hes not a fake, anyhow" said the
modern Samson.
"Well, you are" replied the wild man.
with an oriental sheer. "And what's |
more, you're al
1t is hard to say what would have fol
lowed had not the fat woman, who had
hitherto listened silently, said:
Gentlemen
The word restored the excited freaks to
a sense of their social standing, and they
at once retired to their respective plat
forms, after each had bowed profoundly t.
the fat woman.
Then the audience came in from the
stage performance and the freaks took theil
positions for the lecture.-New York Even
ing Sun.