Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-09
REUBEN CAGGS'S THEORY.

WAS sitting In u CNyo DelOW rOuT-
teenth street with my friend Reuben
Caggs. 1t was sultry July day, and
he ought to have been at his country
house on Long Island where he had
invited me to spend a couple OF
weeks. He was, however, heavy
operator in stocks, and, as the mar
ket was feverish, he thought 1t safer
70 keep his middle finger on the pulse
Of Wall street than to be driving q
spanking team and listening TO the
rolling and roaring surf.
Cages was said to be many times
millionaire. Exactly what that term
signifies, can't explain; for my null
tiplication table ends long before it
reaches six figures. have never
stood in the shoes OF such O man, and
never looked at life through his eyes.
/ don't know what IL means TO be
worried over the size OF ones surplus,
or to be harried because one has q
couple OF fortunes In the bank not
drawing q cent Of interest. III man
age to make both ends meet on the
lst Of January, and can face the new
year free OF debt, having given the
usual half-dollar TO the elevated boy
who takes me to my room at odd
times Of the nighs . and 9do R ISflRRHs size l5s
my morning and evening papers
consider myself fortunate. But to
have so much money that one can't
count it even in his dreams, to be
pointed at on the sidewalk as Jabez
Croesus, Esq, who has seventeen
horses in his stable, and box at the
opera-well, that's the kind OF life
my friend Caggs led, and, on the
whole, he seemed to enjoy 1t.
He could say to the jeweler, Send
that home to my wife," and not ask
the price OF the article. Yes, he
could but noticed that he always
did ask the price, and always man
aged to get discount. Now, / pay
the asking price for everything !
buy; he never does. But then he's
rich, and can afford to do such things.
Being poor, I don't enjoy that pre-
rogative. The salesman seems
pleased TO take ten per cent off fol
Caggs; but il should ask the same
favor he would probably doom me to
one hundred and fifty different kinds
of death.
"My dear boy" he said, I'm sorry
1 can't go down to Clover Hill as we
proposed; but you see the bears are
after me, and unless have as many
eyes as the spider, and keep them al
wide open. these JerPRnturg will gel
their claws on me, and then"
Here followed the most eloquent
shrug Of the shoulders ever wit
messed. interpreted 1t as meaning
two things: first, that the bears woulc
find he wasn't within reach wher
they clawed at him. and second, that
II they should happen TO scratch hin
he had so much left that he would e
lose wink OF sleep.
How / envied him. He was poo
twenty years ago, when he and were
In the freshman class, and so was L
He had changed his mind about re
naming poor; but hadn't. main
tanned my consistency, and at forty
one hadn't u sou marquee. Cages, OF
the other hand, was able to hobnol
with Solomon in all his glory, AM
could buy up all the bric-a- brac which
t,the Queen Of Sheba brought as pres
emit TO the King and store IL In the at
tic OF his Long Island house.
"Now there's my wife, Julia" III
said rather petulantly, as he poure'
out another cup of Mocha there
my wife, Julia. She's most peculia
woman. She runs TO philanthropy
goes into ecstacies over beggar, an
reels of u lot of nonsense about re
forming the world" A sip OF coffe
followed this remark, and as he but
tered his toast he added, serenely
1.-THE world don't need reforming
Heighol it's all right as 1t Is. It
made up Of two classes OF people
those who have made money an
those who have lost it. l say wit
Shakespeare: If money go before, a
ways do lie OPEN There you hay
It Just as tits. No, don't agree wit
Julia. She says the poor ought to
lifted up. A pretty big contract tina
don't you think so? don't say tn
{ at home, you know, because-well, Il
: q good many reasons; but betwee
you and me, it's ell bosh. The high'
& you lift the poor up, the greater oil
lance they fall. Poverty Is the no
NAL condition of nine.tenths OF q
world, always has been, always WI
be. It's their forte to be poor; the
have genius for 1t. Give 'em a nv
to-day and they want another To- mo
row. Give 'em second hver to-mo
row, and they are on hand prompt
the NEXT day. II you refuse, the ~
flyers don't count and they Just cur
you because you won't keep givin
have a liked policy, never TO give
any one. It works best In the lol
run"
The difficulty with Caggs was th
4 n. a \ 1.lI -.