The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-12-02
THE "GAWK."

did not have what the generality of
People would call IL merry childhood or Il
Joyous youth. My fathcr-a low church
clergyman-honcstly believed that to be
cheerful was the first step to sin, and that
virtue was to wear solemn micn and an
unsmiling face. To do him Justice. he
conSclentlously lived up to that conviction
and, as far rs was in his power compelled
others to do the same.
lie had not exposed me to the contami-
nation of II public school; my few compan-
ions had only been classmates ut private
tutors, to whom l was sent as Il daily
pupil, and rs had to walk several miles
to reach my destination | was unable to
enjoy the ordinary relaxation of the Eng
lish schoolboy in the shape of football or
cricket
An only son, mothcrlcss from my cradle,
l had accepted with the submission and
possibly with the contentment of igno-
rance the code of morals and mode of life
which 1T had pleased my father to impose
upon me, and which would have seemed
better suited to the most shrinking and
delicate girl than to II strong, healthy,
stoutly grown and active lad. Perhaps
the real secret of my passive and unresist-
ing acquiescence lay i'll the fact that l was
constitutionally aversc to society of any
VI
any member of the other sex filled me with
an unreasoning awe that amounted to &C
tual pain. y feminine bcing-child, girl
or woman-immediately made me fifty
times more awkward than naturally was:
she elected an unbecoming shyness which
Mt other times was quite foreign to my ma
tire, and which impressed the cause Of
these emotions with Il contcmptuous dis
like q! me-
Harry ATillncr is Il perfect gawkr' l
once heard the pretty daughter of one of
our nearest neighbors say to an elder sis
ter, when, my school days being finally
over, had been sent by my father to walk
with her i'll the vicarage garden. and had
ANONYMOUSLY ended the interview by run
ming away and hiding myself in an arbor,
whence | could hear her comments on my
conduct.
Harry AIllner is II poor miserable
creature" calmly remarked this dispas-
sionate maiden. but you know, Helen,
that he is rs poor as IL rat, so he will never
have to make love to any girl, thank
God" she added piously.
Yes, was gawk at twenty, rs I had
been atany other period Of my life. Yes,
was II miserable creature, in spite of my
feet 10 inches and my broad shoulders
Yes, we were wretchedly poor, and ut my
fathers death all l could claim rs my own
would be II moderately good education
the perfect health / always enjoyed, and
an absolute ignorance of the ways of the
world, for good or evil, and the means of
earning my daily bread therein. 1t had
been part of the wears conscientious car
rying out of his particular views to keep
me persistently at his side, in his widowed,
solitary home, and not to send me to meet
temptation or, us he styled it, pertlition.
;ll iflfr
crate and the ungodly, whose path lies
among the pitfalls of frivolity and unhal-
lowed diversions.
Not very long after my pretty neighbor
Helen had passed her uncomplimentary
verdict upon me my father died. \ dis
tant relation wound up his affairs; n hun
drcd pounds We're placed in my hands, and
was told to go to London and 'sce what
could do there" 1t is needless to dwell
OH the time thus SPENT suffice it to say
that | worked hard and inefficiently, and
that remained as strictly ungregarious
solitary, moral and virtuous rs | had ever
been ut the vicarage. Women still looked
upon me with intense dsfavor and upon
them with continued awe-at least in the
tlesh-fOr must confess that at times, in
my dreams, conceived that it might be
pleasant to hear Il soft voice call me
Harry" and II white hand linger in my
palm But when awokc in the morning
it was to II returning consciousness that /
was IL gawl, and that if by some wild
accident the feminine hand was resting in
my grasp or the feminine voice sounding
i'll my ears should not know how to an
swer the one or clasp the other.
Then suddenly, unexpectedly, | found
myself rich-not moderately or comforta-
bly, rich, but wealthy beyond my most fat
! uous conception of the term. An unsus-
pected inheritance had fallen to my lot;
| there were no difficulties raised against
my title; everything was plain, simple and
| correct, so that within three months of the
| day when received the first intimation of
my good fortune | was informed by the
lawyers that | could now draw on my
! bankers for what was practically to me an
unlimited amount, and take possession of
ii big house in Mayfair and an equally inn
| posing mansion in worcestershire with II
suitable establishment ready to receive me
| in each as master. ! visited both resi-
dcnces, found them almost as awe inspir-
| ing as woman and myself as big gawk
In these superbly appointed houses as /
had been in the country or in the city office.
Puzzled and disturbed, | resolved to leave
| England, to travel for awhile and endeavor
| to shake off III rev surroundings the awk-
wardness which believe was only in rus
ITCHY, and the misanthropy that sat so
queerly on n young mans temperament. l
wanted the regenerating process to take
place away from the gaze of my country
men and, moreover, was secretly anxious
to put the sea between me and the over
towering attentions and invitations show
cred upon me through the medium of
countless notes sent by people whose names
had never known or utterly forgotten,
and who one and all assured me that they
remembered my dear father with intense
affection and would consider it personal
favor TO see me, his son, mt their table, their