Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-08-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

If you cannot lick man be lenient
with his faults. Texas Siftings
Handouts might appropriately be
called sad-irons. Lowell Courier.
Stealing away from bad company is
justifable larceny. .-Bingh Leader.
The man who wants to live in clover
need only buy lawn-mower.-Chicago
Inter- Ocean.
"Thats where the shoe hurts" as the
bridegroom muttered, rubbing the back
of his head.-Truth.
1t isn't so much by industry we thrive
as by the favor of those who will pay for
the fruits of it.-Truth.
"How does your new errand-boy go,
Johnsonl" "The long way, apparently,
every time. New York Truth.
1t is the man who has to live on corn
bread at home who finds the most fault
with the pie when he travels.
Horn.
He-tWhat, besides the date, do
they usually put in engagement rings"
She (pointedlO Fingers. Town
Topics.
Duck is to be favorite wear this
season, both for ladies and for gentle
men who are in the swim. Lowell
| Courier.
There are people who think their
neighbors' houses ncel painting because
they do not wash their own windows -
Rams Horn.
There is nothing in the world more
aggravating to man with a secret than
| to meet people who have no curiosity -
| Atchson Globe.
He-"Is it true that you are engaged
| to Mr.. Bartow~ Shell don't know;
the society papers haven't announced it
yet. New York Herald.
"What is a dark horse, papal' asked
! Fredd, Gaswell. Ozark horses are
nightmares of the leaders, Freddy" re-
piled his papa.-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Drawing Room Inanities She -
"No, don't sit there, Mr.. Splosher-
that's my ugly side!" He (wishing to
please) --"Well-a-really don't sec
any difference w--Punch.
"Does time fly as fast as before you
were married and were merely cngaged?'
"Does it2 One grocery bill doth tread
upon another's heels, so fast they fol-
low. w."-Indlanapolis Journal.
There is no question of the value of
advertising, but still it doesn't justify
young man carrying an umbrella in such
a way as is most likely to catch the eye
of the public. c.-Philadelphia III mes.
Hicks-"See those two ladies over
there. They seem to be enjoying them
selves hugely" Wicks-"Yes; Won
der which of their dear friends they are
picking to pieces. ."-Boston Transcript.
"Hawkins is very fond OF his horse,
isn't he" "Why, no, he hates him"
"That's queer. saw him riding in the
park the other day, aud he had his arms
about the animals neck. ."-lIarpers Bl-
| Ear.
Reynard-"He called me coward, a
| bully and liar; would you advise me
to fight hint" Axietree--''I don't see
what else you can do; you would prob
ably lose a suit for SANDER. New YORK.
Herald.
About the Count; Sister Ethel (who
likes him)-"Well, anyway, he is poll
ished gentleman. Brother Jack (who
does mott "Polished enough, but the
shine is all on his clothes. Harvard
Lampoon.
''You are a kinsman Of the host, are
you notn asked one OF the guests.
ayes" said the poor relation near the
foot Of the table, bitterly. ~ am his
cousin fourteen seats removed. "--Chl-
eago Tribune.
Friend-s'What did he say 10 You
when he proposed 70 you'' Miss tox-
"IIe said life without me meant nothing" f."
Friend-''lIe was sincere IN that. That's
| Just what his possessions amount to, -
New York Press.
Chappie-"oace was IN terwible
storm at sea. The waves Nollei moun
tain high Miss Piukerly -"Deaf me
Weren't YOU afraldi" Chappie -"No,
indeed. was veal bWaye, Mg sister
was with ne. "-New York Herald.
"Paw, Is an islet little island r.
eyes, Anaxhnainder. Then a chap
let j. little chap. "Na, Anaximaiuder
Aud Il you try any more punlets Of that
klnd will waFm your iaeklel silh
i twiglet from the aahleg, - ilFaoklya
kagle.
| Mrs. rrye-"Deaf me, Mrs, Hunt,
how Is Il sou continue 10 bold yuar age
90 welli declare sou look is young a.
you did tweaiy years ago. Mrs., Hunt
--''l don't know, uaess ID Is that g.
cape a great deal OF cafe by attending 10
nobody's business bat my nNn' Au,
| ffye~-''les, that maf he Il hai, n0nl
thing you cant dad much pleasure Ia
lising, eau yeai'- liaztan Transcript.
"fheFs sesms 10 he 40 day Or "a h0sg
II lhe dag thai you aEe unl afieg that
measly lissla hlll II Yaafs, ekelalaaei
liaglsy sfalhluily 10 ns.n sho hal la,i
| entered hIs aIllee aH nlad u so
faa laigs q hereafter, said thn
Hssa slgA s4l siHie. - he a. 1lHaa
Aeasily altat loa afe afang iAls tlale.
An nal alter shsi hlll q la
#ADtia ssla haglel. iaakius ~ ahh
| hlt old eAssllness - Asi 8 i IAaal
= hs moael - bestQa lesl,