Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1892-11-12
Farmer Brewers Hired Man.

Farmer Brewers difeu oAah'
sit was my opinion, and I boldly ex-
pressed it to Farmer Brewer" said
John Gilbert, the travelling grocery
man. "that if his hired man hadn't been
working so close to certain tree that
dav Farmer Brewers Jersey COW would
be living yet. That was my opinion at
the time, and it is my opinion still, al
though it is true, as Farmer Brewer
saws, that if the weather hadn't been
so fine this fall the cow would be still
alive. no matter if the hired man was
working near the tree that day. /
Grant the farmer all that, rs | frankly
admitted to him, but it does not change
nv opinion one iota. The farmers
Jersey cow is dead. He blames the
weather. Well, it is true that if the
weather hadn't been so fine he wouldn't
have been ploughing in his field on the
Isl of November. But ploushing lie
was. The weather had nothing what
ever to do, though, with his having $500
in his pocket when he went out to
plough. As he ploughed around he
BEGAN to worry about the money, not
wanting to carry it back to the house,
but. fearing that it might drop out OF
his pocket and be ploughed under ana
never found, he took it out and ma II
under the roots of a tree in the Held,
near where he was at work. His Jersey
COW. worth 1925, was cropping the
grass in the neighborhood of the tree.
His hired man was cutting brush along
the fence. rod or so away. When
supper time came Farmer Brewer went
to Get his money. The roots of the
tree were still there. The COW was still
cropping grass in the neighborhood.
The hired man was still cutting brush
not far away but the money was
gone. 1t was a good while before
Farmer Brewer could get his breath.
When he did he followed to his hired
man:
"'Johnr he hollerel, the COW has
eat up my $500.
Lord ? said John. How
'!Jest eat it replied the farmer.
Pulled it out from under the roots o.
the tree and Jest eat it! Darn my fool
gizzard for putin it there =
% That's so. said John. But who'd
a think it of that air Jersey cow
''When Farmer Brewer and his hired
man got home with the news of the
disaster, they found Farmer Ringler
at the house. Farmer Ringlcr resur-
rected hope in Farmer Brewers breast
by telling him that split-hoofed cattle
swallow whole all that they eat, and put
it through digestive process requiring
the use of four separate stomachs.
s'All you got to do said Farmer
Ringler, is to beef your cow, and you
will find money safe and sound in her
first stomach
Farmer Brewer hesitated to slaugh-
| ter $l25 COW, but as, under the cir
| cumstances, dead COW worth $500
was better piece of property than q
] live one that represented value of$42o
i he resolved to kill her at once and re-
cover his $500 while it was yet time.
| The farmer sent the hired man to drive
| the COW in, which he did, and Farmer
[ Brewer and his neighbor proceeded TO
| beef her. Being inexperienced at the
work they had long and tedious task.
| Inc ulSSluS IuOlICy NaSii IL Wv 40 ~
stom ach. Neither was it in the second,
and no trace of it appeared in either
| the third or fourth.
":The only way l can think it out,
said Farmer Ringler, trying to console
Farmer Brewer, is this way. That air
COW must made cud O them $500,
and then lost her cud y
"'Then,' said disconsolate Farmer
| Brewer, it's the first time on record
where cows cud was worth three
times as much as the cow
"Then Farmer Ringler went home,
and it was getting along toward 1O
o'clock at night before it occurred to
Farmer Brewer that his hired man
! hadn't been present at the post-mortem
examination of the COW. The hired
man did not appear next day either
In fact, he has not appeared since he
drove the COW in to the sacrifice, and
no one has been able topoint out where
he is. That is why it was my opinion
then, and I boldly told Farmer Brewer
at the time, and is my opinion still,
that if his hired men hadn't been work
ing so near the tree that day Farmer
Brewers COW would be living yet"
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