The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1892-07-08
PuNGENr PARAGRAPHS.


--Cora-"You'd make trusted bank
cashier, Jake" Jake much fiattered)-
"Why so. dear?" Cora (yawning)-
You'd never skip out '"-N.Y. Herald.
the lawyers" well, they won't re-
main very long rich if they've got among
the lawyers. "-Dorchester Beacon.
Don't You think baby is like
mamma. George" asked Mrs. Honey
ton Very. He talks all the time but
never says anything."-N Y. Herald.
Drawing Room manities She
mo, don't sit there, Mr.. Splosher-
that's my ugly side!' He wishing to
please -"Well-a-really | don't see
any difference.'-Punch.
Cotton is now grown in Turkestan
and the Russian provinces of Central
Asia, the quantity produced being 81
$4,000 pounds, or say $4,000 bales, in
1883, and -. sec. 900 pounds in 1889.
A Vital Difference -WiclSars-"I
don't believe there is much difference
between genius and insanity" Vickars
20, yes, there is; a heap. The lunatic
is sure of his board and clothes
Young People.
Mrs. Chinner seems to have very
pleasant time of it." pleasant time?
Why that woman's life is one complete
round of enjoyment 1T is?" 1T is
that She belongs to seven sewing
circles N Y. Press.
why are you so silent?" she asked
charmingly. II am collecting my
thoughts" replied Gus de Jay you
will have valuable collection"
Thanks" you know, rarities are
always highly esteemed. Washington
Star
-Reynard-"He called me a coward,
bully and liar; would you advise me
to fight him?7 Axle tree-"I don't see
what else you can do; you would prob
ably lose suit for SANDER N. Y.
Herald
OF Course. -Mrs Gazzam-"The re-
noval of an entire tongue has been sue
.essfully performed by Philadelphia
surgeons, and the patient still lives"
Canaan Certainly. The patient was
man. "-Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Youngwife-"Could you tell
by my manner that had been married
but a short time?' Mrs. Thirdly
Easily" Mrs gwife-"How?"
Mrs. Thirdly-"Well, you seem to be-
lieve every thing your husband tells
you. Boston Post.
-Beaver-"What have you got red
necktie for, old man? Don't you know
they have gone out?" Melton-"Yes,
but am going to barber shop to get
shaved to-day" Beaver-"What's that
got to do w it'll your necktie?" Melton
Its the only kind | can wear that
doesn't show blood."-Clothier and Fur
nisher.
-Sniggs ton his deathbed) ~ should
like to see Wiggs before | die" Mrs.
Sniggs-"What do you want to see him
for? You know he's a disreputable
character and the wickedest man in
town. And besides, dear, you are sure
to see him some time on the other side.
Boston Transcript
-Applicant-'1 understand that you
want a reporter" Editor-"Yes, I
want man to do verbatim work. Are
you stenographer?" Applicant-"No,
sir; but am rapid writer. I used to
be an actor and have had experience in
writing stage letters" Editor-"Ahl
Your Just the man we want boston
Transcript.
A Sinccure.-A certain physician,
who has not got much practice. hired a
small colored boy to accompany him in
his visits and hold the horse, How
does yer like yer new place." asked the
boys mother when he came home on
Saturday night. Il likes it fustrate.
We neber has to stop at de houses at all
like de udder doctors. jess gifts all de
ridin' l wants." was the reply.-N. Y.
Truth.