Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-03-17
PlTH AND POINT.

The uglier show manager is tho
more he insists upon having his picture
printed on all the bills.-Atchison
Globe.
If men knew as much at 40 years of
age as they knew at 90, the re would be
more statesman in the country. Texas
Siftings.
We never realize the value of q
jewel until we try to pawn it. Come
to think of it, we don't then.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Observation-Disclosures some of the most
important things existing to-day that
were unknown one hundred years ago.
Tommy-"You and me-"
-sKeene has come into fine thing
by the death of old Bilyuns." ''In-
deedl Is he one of the heirs?" mo.
he is the executor."-N. Y. Press.
-''Oh," she exclaimed. chow can you
drink beer? It's such bad form" 81
know it is" replied the reckless young
man. Its bad form, but good taste.
Washington Star.
-Judge-'If let you off this time
will you promise not to come back
here again?" Prisoner-"Yes sir. The
fact is I didn't come voluntarily this
time"-Boston Post.
A Defense. the charge
against this man, officer?" ''No visible
means of support" returned No. 507o.
II can't afford to take me wife wild me
everywhere" growled the prisoner
Epoch.
Natures Methods
Natures financial methods err;
They're certainly blunder:
For when we pay our debts to her,
She makes us all go under.
IN. Y. Herald.
"A Nevada hunter spent three
months looking for grizzly bear and
the mans relatives have spent three
months looking for him. They think
he must have found the bear.-Texas
Siftings.
-''That's peculiar name to give
race-horse. Cobbler." mo. it's just
right. I've tried to get him into place
time and time again, but, confound him,
he always sticks to the lastv'-Rider
and Driver
If there was some way of wrapping
up baby SO that it would look like
game bag or gun, the women would
have no further trouble in getting their
husbands to carry babies on the streets.
-Atchison Globe.
"A Fair Proposition.-"Say,m mister,
that dog bit me-" "Oh. that's moth.
ing" But what if / should die OF
hydrophobia?" "Well, in that case
am willing to do the fair thiug-Tn
have the dog killed when you die"
The whistling plowman has always
been a favorite subject for pastoral
poets, but they have always been care
full to describe him at some other time
than just the moment after his pillow
has brought up suddenly against q
rock.-Somerville Journal.
-Jessie-''Harry, do you regard mar.
riage as a failure? Harrv--"No; I'm
told it is more like mutual benefit
association" Jessie-''That must be
NICE" Harry-"Yes. it is; you put in
every dollar you earn, and never get
back a cent."-Smith. Gray & Co.'s
Monthly.
MIR. Robinson, who has tarried too
long at wine supper, finds his wife in
high state of nervousness awaiting
his return. Mrs. R.-"Here I've been
waiting and rocking in this chair until
my head swims round like top!' Mr..
R.-"Jess so where I've been-it's in
the atmosphere. Fun.
DIR. Smythe lat the literary recep-
tion)-"Who is that tall, specialized,
bald-headed gentleman yonder? Ihave
been discussing mining affairs with
him, and he agreed with me that Blow
itoff's work on the subject was a very
stupid affair."" Thompson-"rm sure
he ought to know. He's Blowitoff."-
Tit-Bits.
"A young man who had been seek
ing employment from an editor, finally
obtained leave to write an article on q
subject assigned by the editor, and to
bring it in person in week. The ar
ticle was brought at the appointed
time. The editor read it, and knit his
brows. s'You have some good thoughts
here" he said; ''but you write very
badly" "W-well, you see, SIR" fall
tered the applicant, II was kind of