River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-02-18
NO CAPTAINS TABLE FOR HIM.
He Meant What He said and Was lager to
Fight For IL.

Fight For IL.
He was pacing the promenade deck
of the ocean steamer Majestic. One of
his eyes was blaclxened. and his red
nose and swollen features wore care
worn expression. The breeze played
gently with the tails of his long ulster.
and he could scarcely keep his feet. A
sudden lurch of the ship sent him
sprawling on the deck in front of one
of the passengers. who helped him up
and asked him if he were sick.
mo, my friend" he answered grave
| ~, but I'm afraid I've made big mis-
take. Ever crossed the ocean before. 4"
1.-TWO or three times" was the mod
est answer.
well, then" he continued. per.
haps you can tell me whether / was
/ right or wrong"
How was it?"
"Well. you see, it was this way. I'm
1 from Illinois. and the other day was
appointed United States consul to a lit
tie port over here across the pond. I'm
/ on my way there now. l took cabin
| passage on this boat and was having
a tip-top time until to-day. This morn.
( ing had Just sat down TO breakfast
when big waiter came up behind me.
and said he: Il beg pardon, sir. but
i the captain requests that you be seated
at his table What's that?' said T.
sit at the captains table. Not much
! sir, I'm no plug of a common sailor
I'm United States consul. paid fol
/ first-class passage on this craft, anC
/ I'm going TO have frst-class grub. ST
| at the captains table! You must be
/ crazy. man. No. sir, I'm going to SIT
/ right here aud take my meals like the
/ other first-class passengers I'm 9
/ gentleman, I'm an American SOW
ereign. sir, and stand on
my rights. The next thing
| you'll want me to go down
and take pot-luclx with the coal-heav-
ers. I'm no steerage passenger. If you
don't believe it, here's my ticket
| don't eat with sea captains, do you
see
Everybody at the table began tc
1 look astonished like, and the waiter
said: I'm sorry, sir but orders is or
| ders. ! wouldn't dare tell the captain
/ that you had refused to come to his
table. lie would be much insulted, sir.
Then let him get insulted,' said l, get
ting bit riled. It's none of his bust
ness where / sit ! don't have TO eat
with my social interiors. I'm going to
sit right here. and if you don't take
your hand off my shoulder III paste
you one right between the eyes But
| you don't understand he began, and
put his hand on me again. With that
got up and hit him. lie struck back and
we clinched, rolled over on the floor
and gouged each other. A lot OF
the walters ran up and parted us. ]
got up and left the room without any
breakfast Just as / went out heard
somebody remark that / was the big
gest fool that ever stepped off dry land.
Now tell me, stranger, is man fool
because he stands up for his rights?"
Certainly not" answered the other
passenger, but don't you know that it
is considered a great honor to be in
vited TO the captains table. 1t is an
honor accorded only to people of high
social rank or official position. The
captains table is considered the finest
in the dining-room.
''In the dining -roomw he gasped.
"Then it amt down in the forecastle!
/ All. now / catch on. What a tarnal
/ fool I've been. anyhow. I'm going TO
| get the biggest deckhand on board TO
+ kick me all over the ship and then I'm
/ going to my stateroom, and / won't
| stick my nose outside until we get to
Queenstown. Good-by, my friend."-
| n. Y. Tribune.