Arizona republican., 1892-09-11


 he. If were te invite a lot of men here to dine, Mrs, Sandford would drive them out of the house."
 "Then," suggested, "do it when she is away. You know she is going to spend three days next week with her sister in Littletown. This is your time. Manage the house to suit yourself while sne is away, and when she comes back and finds fault settle the matter by in- sisting on having things your own way. The days passed with leaden feet, but finally Mrs. Sandford took her departure and left her husband master of the sit uation. He immediately began his preparations for the dinner party, while l informed Fannie of what was going on.
 At last, on the third day after Mrs. Sandford had gone, the dinner party took place. Only young men were in- vited, and We sat down at 6 o'clock in the evening, and were soon having a merry time.
 The solids of the feast gradually dis appeared, and we soon found ourselves telling funny stories over our wine and cigars, Some one proposed Mir. Sand lords health. and we arose to drink it standing.
 At this moment the door was flung open with bang, and who should stalk into the room but Mrs. Sandford.
 For moment she stood as if thunder struck. Then, fiinging her satchel into one corner of the room, she brought her umbrella down with a tremendous thump upon the floor and, after gaspina for breath once or twice, screamed in frightened tone:
 What does this mean?"
 ''Now's your time," l whispered to Sandford.
 That gentleman drew himself up in dignified manner.
 Ut means" said he, ''that when wish to invite party of my friends to this house I'm going to do it. It means that am going so have my own way" >
 "What-t-t?" cried his wife. You have your own wayl You wouldn't know what to do with it if you had it. Here, you young scapegraces, out of my house, every one of your
 "Silence, Mariar' said the old man, endeavoring to look brave, but trembling like leaf.
 Silence yourself!" she cried. dealing him blow with the umbrella that ef- fectually destroyed his equilibrium. Thep seizing an empty wine bottle she brandished it aloft.
 "Clear out" she cried, every mothers son of you"
 Robbins jumped through the open window. The other fellows scattered like leaves before hurricane, while Mrs. Sandford ragged about the field of battle like new Joan of Arc.
 l quietly slipped in the next room, hoping to return and smooth matters over when the crowd had gone
 l saw that the splendid plan was a partial failure, but was not going to desert my ally in this extremity. Pres ently saw Sandford arise from his un- dignified position among the empty bot ties, and l entered the room with a smile to help him face his wife.
 "Now, then" she said. "what does all this mean"
 Mir. Sandford was as white as a sheet, and he looked from one side of the room to the other till he caught sight of me.
 "There," he said, "that's the wretch It was all his faultr
 Mrs. Sandford turned and, seeing me, uttered a cry of rage.
 You, is it? knew you would brew mischief in this house. Out of it-out of it, say?'
 And seizing her umbrella again she began to belabor me lustily about the head, shouting; "Go, go; leave! Go and don't come back!"
 It is almost needless to say that did leave.
 The next day lay abed late, with a bruised and discolored eye and a general feeling of soreness in my muscles, when a knock sounded upon my door and Enoch Robbins, with his eyes cast down and his hands folded as usual, entered the room.
 "Good morning" he said softly, study ing the seams in the carpet; 'I am sor- " to sec you i'll, Have you heard the news?
 "No," replied 1; "what news?
 Fanny Sandford eloped with Harry Burton last night while we were at din ner. thought you might not have heard of it and dropped in to tell you"
 This was portion of Harry's scheme, which had not known before. It was a splendid plan, however, and worked to a charm.-A. Q. B. in Boston Globe