The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-05-28
REURFN HAS A TALK.

week, "to put my piece in the paper until
next Saturday, but things are always
crowding upon me and a good subject is
generally so scarce, as | have n l will
write a little.
at seems to me that you did just right
in skinning young BUTLER as you did.
But you left out one important point, and
l want to call your attention to it. That
is-why do people fall so quickly into the
arms, as it were, of Tom, DICK or HARRY,
if the said Tom, DICK or HARRY happens
to claim to be a minister"
Then REUBEN goes on to say that he
believes that a minister, until he is known
and his motives are known, is no more to
be trusted than any other man. There
are rascals and scapegoats in all profes
sions, and just because a man happens to
claim to be a minister, is no reason why
parents should permit intimacies with
their daughter that would be denied a
| common layman-though he were known
to be worthy.
When a man joins a church he is not
considered as good a christian as the old
fellow whose head has grown white with
in the fold; and so REUBEN thinks that
the same can be true of a minister. tie
holds first, That no man can be real
minister of the gospel who is not yet out
of his ministerial swaddling clothes, and
he holds to another proposition, which is
that people should not trust a parson any
more than they trust a common gentle
man-until they know something about
the parson whom they are trusting. But
REUBEN regrets that it is the way of the
world. All one needs to do is to announce
II am a minister, | am such a dandy min
lister, you know" and of course its "MR.
| F~ITzNooDLE' here, and "Oh, dear MIR.
FITZNooDLE" there, al d"won't you please
come to our house for tea, and please,
now, don't fail us'-and then
And when the right royal reverend Mr..
Fra NOODLE, unknown to all, except he
once remembered meeting Mr.. SIMON
DRAKE, of that town, when he had a
charge on the Baltic sea-"Ob, yes, knew
him well but by the way, MIR. SIMON
DRAKE is dead"-yes, poor SIMON, he
cannot come to cry the parson shame!
And so the dear, delightful Mr.. FITZ-
NOODLE is received by the dear, delight
full and deluded Mrs. PARsoNBERRY and
she is so delighted. My daughter, MIR.
FITzNooDLE." "Ah, Miss PARsoNBERRY,
| am delighted to meet you-ah-yes-ah,
you so remind me of my sister-poor girl,
she is dead now, yes, she is dead. All,
she was such a noble girl-ah, ah, yes,
yes"
And there it goes.
Mrs. PARSONBERRY Lrots out her
daughter the first whirl. FITZNooDLE
may be a three card monte man he M, ~
be a libertine and a counterfeiter. He
may be a minister which other cOmmu-
mites have bounded awaY-but the dear,
delightful Mr.. FITZNoODLE is welcome
always at the homes of Mrs. PARsoN-
BERRY and Mrs. So.AND SO-AND So-AND
So.
Had the fellow been a man-an upright,
honest, deserving fellOw-one who would
have perhaps made husband and a lover
for the daughter, and had he sued for her
fair hand, in holy horror, says REUBEN,
the mortified, petrifed and intensified
Mrs. PARsoNBERRY would have thrown
up her hands and screamed, II shall
faint" and then hired the gardener to
chase the %presuming fellow off the prem
ises-and Mrs. PARsoNBERRY would ex-
plain it by saying that the impertinent
rascal had only been in the own a little
over a year-forgetting the while that she
had made a fool of herself and presented
her daughter to a stranger, the Reverend
and Sanctifed Parson, COLONEL FITz-
NOODLE, LII. D. and anything else in the
alphabet which suits.
Those are the observations of REUBEN
and as he handed them in he drank a quart
of corr likker and fell down stairs a few
moments there after.