The Forrest City times., 1892-09-09
The "Petered" Party.
FORMING A NEW PARTY.


 Its Platform Outlined. With shs rrinci- ples It Proposes King of Political Satire. s1 The following whitening blast of political satire was selected from the
 Montgomery (Ala.,) Advertiser. to which it was sent as contribution Dy an anonymous writer who signs hlmSeiI civilian Whoopem:o
 Being an old and astute politician and having carefully studied and ana lyzed the democratic, republican and third party political platforms and find
 ing them all rotton and c0rrul to the core of evil and only evil tendencleSs calculated in their nature, designs ana purposes to bring disaster, ruin poverty and distraction to the masses. and believing there is yet hope of ayerting the disastrous ruin that threatens our country by organizing fourth political party similar yet dissimilar to either Ot the aforesaid parties-similar tO some of the foregoing as it is to be made up entirely of the ragtag, bObtail, dissatiS- fled, disaffected, disgruntled, grumb- ling, growing. whining members Of the other political parties. and dissimilar as no man is allowed to become a mem her of this party for onr trade or in- fluence-I hereby call mass meeting of such men as the above described to meet at the opera house on the night of July 17, between the hours of and 9 o'clock, for the purpose of organizing and fully equipping for the war this fourth political party. When fuVy organized we will elect by ballot . sufficient number to fully, stealthily and sneakingly canvass the entire county of Montgomery.
 It shall be the duty of the canvasSers to lie on, misrepresent and throw their filth and slime on the other political organizations.
 I hereby notify all interested parties
 become member of this party until he lowing oath:
 IA E. in the presence of these my disgruntled brethren. do most solemnly
 promise and swear that Tom Jones is
 personally and individually responsible for the droughts, cyclones, hail storms, short crops and low prices of farm pro- ducts in the state of Alabama; and if
 Kolb is elected gOvorner he will have
 ths county in worse fix than Jones has.
 solemnly swear that K0lbis a big ger liar and smarter man than Jones. 1 furthermore do solemnly promise and swear that will not under any cir cumstances whatever vote for any man for office who can read or write or whose state or county taxes amount to more than two dollars year.
 do furtl er most solemnly and si0- cerely swear by all that is good and bad, i, with all the devil and vim there is in me, that do honestly and sincerely believe that the property accumulated by the hard licks. industry and economy of our wealthiest men onght to be di-
 vided equally among the lazy, disgrun- tied members of this party, and fur thermore swear that 1 will never bo satisfied until this is done.
 furthermore tip-toe and rock back on my dew-claws and most solemnly, sincerely and willingly swear that
 never will plapt more than half a crop of anything and will under no circum- st inces half work that, and furthermore swear will do all that can to keep my neighbcrs from working theirs or pay ing their debts; and to clap the climax
 do with all the earnestness of my soul, from the bottom of my heart, sin- cerely promise and swear that l will take my wife's chickens, butter and eggs to town and trade for wliiskey, to get big drunk and talk politics.
 Believing a party made up of tho above mentioned material would revO- lutionize the whole country, conscien- tiously take the above oath to bo prompt in meeting at the above time and place.