The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-08-26
SOME OFFICE BOYS.
SEVERAL TPUE STORIES ABOUT THE
NEWSPAPER SPECIES.

Miserable for Workers In Various Edi-
toriaI RoomsA Young Creature who
Is Never Abashed at Anybody.
There Rre Office boys and Office boys.
That of course is self evident fact. The
newspaper Office boy, though, is king of
them all. BY the newspaper Office boy is
not meant the lad who works in the count
ing room and runs errands for the proprie-
tor, and the business manager, and the adj
vertising man, and such of the clerks as
have his good will, but the boy who mails
the managing EDITORS letters, and gets the
afternoon papers for the city editor, and
goes out after cigars for the reporters and
cigarettes for the sporting editor; who
mislays the telegraph EDITORS shears, and
puts ink in the paste pots, and steals all
the pens and pencils that he can lay his
hands on and has other little idiosyncra-
sizes that are peculiar to the breed Unless
you have had the inestimable privilege
of working fifteen hours day on the edi-
tOrial staff Of daily newspaper you have
never perhaps known any of them That
is your gain and the Office boys loss.
They do and say funny things occasion
ally, and every Office has its stock of tales
about them.
In certain newspaper Office not thou
sand miles from Buffalo there was an Office
boy once who reioiced in the euphonious
name of Micky Jones. Micky was an am
bilious youth and wanted to be reporter.
He worried the life out of the city editor
by teasing him to let him write a ''piece,"
and one day in fit Of desperation that
dignitary called him to his desk and said:
snow, Micky, am going to give you a
chance to write something, and on how
well you do it depends your future in this
office. If you show any ability will put
you on the staff as u sub, and one of these
days you will be reporter. Sit down and
take these points, ana then write fifty
line puff for the Lake Shore and Michigan
Southern railroad"
Micky's eyes danced with JOY, and he
took the points, stole lead pencil from the
city hall reporter Gust where the city hall
man got ii is not a matter for public com
mentl and sat down to write At the end
of an hour, during which time he chewed
the end of the pencil industriously and
used up Il good many sheets of paper, he
came over TO the city EDITORS desk and
handed in the following composition:
The Lakes shore aud Michigan Southern
railway is a CRATE Railway. it runs for good
Many miles along the Shore Of lake Eric. In
the Summer Time you Had better lake d Boat
Yours respectively NJ. Jones. Reporter
Micky is now Chief engineer on horse
car.
IL wasn't so very many years ago that
Joseph O'Connor the scholarly and talent
ed editor of Of the Rochester Post Express
was Buffalo journalist, and it will be
remembered that then as now he let his
auburn hair grow la PadcrewsI. Ia
one Of the offices over which MIR. O'Connor
once presided was IN Office Toy who unfor-
tunately did net stay in the business long
enough TO let his name be known He
came TO work one Monday morning and q
wicked reporter called him to one side and
told him that his first duty would be to get
acquainted with tho editor in chief.
He suggested that as soon as he had time
the hoy should 20 IN and make some pleas
ant personal remark to Mr.. O'Connor and
break the ice Along about II o'clock that
morning Mr.. O'Connor was listening to n
delegation of prominent citizens who had
come to ask some editorial notice for some
thing or other, when in the midst of the
conference the Office boy walked in. lie
stood around for moment and waited IN
Til there was a lull in the conversation.
Then ne walked over to tl,a chair in which
the editor WINS sitting and assuming an
angelic sni said pleasantly: Good morn
ing, Mr. O'Counor. Why don't YOU get
your hair vut?"
The career of that budding journalist
stopped short at exactly 1905 o'clock that
morning
There is n certain western New York
city editor who has Jacob for a front name
What his last Game is it doesn't signify.
He is dignifcd and dyspeptic, and as the
reporters have it, makes his own ice"
The local staff always called him Jake"
when speaking of him among themselves,
but when addressing him personally al
ways use the mister with the acute &C
cent There was wicked reporter on this
staff also, and in n fit of inspiration one
day he called the Office boy aside (his name
was Tommy CampbelD and said: Tom
my, | see that you and Jake don't get
along very well together You ought to
be the best of friends The last Office bov
who was here used to go out to lunch with
him every day. Now, tonight when YOU
take in the weather report to him be kind
OF familiar with him. He'll respect you
more for it and there is no reason why YOU
shouldn't get along swimmingly"
Tommy pondered over this state for a
time, and that night when he took in the
weather report walked up to the dignified
city editor and slapped him on the shout
der, saying at the same time: Hello,
Jake. Here's that darned old weather re-
port of yours" Two paste pots, a nair Of
shears and a paperweight were thrown at
him, and he never dared appear in the
Office again. Tommy is now plumber
Buffalo Express.
Motives of Crime.
The impulses and motives which lead TO
the commission Of crimes arc essentially