St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-10-01
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF TIE PRESS.
ETic :.pvr-A Fashionable MiSs-Bc-
yond His Reach, etc, etc.
IN MATKINDNIAL WATERS.

Etjic-Thcrc are as fine fish in the sea
H ever were caught.
Blanrh" Yes; but they don't do any
thing hut watch the little ones nibble, -
hAJc Fields Washington.
TRUE LOVE.
81 love you. Will YOU be my wife,"
"WliI you promise to Snub that odious
Mss Van Aston all this wcck:'
II WiII.n
"NcII thcn--ycs.
METHOD IN 1T.
"Why do you irritatc mamma so,
GEORGE"
"Bccau>", my dear, I hope some day
to make her spccchlcss with indigna-
ton.
FASHIONABLE MISS.
Mamma What under the sun are YOU
doing with little Dots clothes on?
Little ck-ldrSpOndcntly )-WcIl Dot
said She wanted 10 be in tn fashion, an
she's gone of with all Of mine $500 Good
News.
BEYOND HIS REACH.
She You don't mean to say you are
too poor to be marricd
lIc-Oh no, but I'm altogether too
poor to be engaged.
A LIVELY PLACE.
FcathcrIy-I suppose you found things
rather quiet out West?
Wrstwind mot much: it was q rcgu-
lar Gale Il day. Chicago Inter Ocean.
A CAUSE FOR WORRY
"Mcrcy" exclaimed Mrs. lIomcSpun,
when size read in the paper that Jay
Gould made TO cents every time the
clock licked. II should think he would
le worried to death for fear that the
clock would run down. y Boston Tran
script.
IT CAN'T BE DONE.
lis all very we'll to be patient while
Your affairs are going awry,
But It's very hard to laugh or smile
AS you slap 1T summer fly.
\ HOPELESS CASE.
Don't you think YOU could learn to
love me!" he asked, looking at her visit
fully.
''Im sure 7 Couldn't" she answered
decidedly. I'm a perfect Ounce. When
| WAS ut school never could learn any
thing. : New York Press.
SHE WANTED HIM TO KNOW.
She was from Boston, and was waiting
on the platform at Il Railway station when
her foot caught in something and she fell
upon the track.
\ train was coming in at the moment.
1t was almost upon her. There was no
time for any one to jump to her assis
lance, but a man on the platform had
presence of mind enough to yell:
LAY flat on the tracks
"You mean lie" replied she, as she
ob2ycd the injunction, ungrammatical
though it was, and escaped unhurt-
Jersey City Town Talk.
HE FOUND IT WAS THERE.
Judge Go pri~oner)-You are charged
with having seriously injured your wife
BY incio~ing her in Il folding bed. What
have YOU TO say for yourself!
Prisoner our Honor, wished to see
if il WAS possible to Shut her up De-
troit Free Press
SHE WAS TOO LITERAL.
"Oh, sweetest" he said, Il could sit
beside YOU forcvcr.'
But you can't" she said, 1.-The fact is
you've sat too long now; its I / 3d.
Treu he arose and departed, declaring
to himself that some girls have no more
sentiment in them than woodchuck-
New York Press.
\ LASTING EXCUSE.
II want to get off this afternoon, said
Jacky Ilorncr to his employer My
dead"
"I.ook here" said the employer severe
ly. ''didn't | give YOU an afternoon off Il
month ago because your grandmother
WAS dead"
"Yc&, SIR replied the uuabaShcd
youth. SHE is still dead, sir. - Brook
Ign Life.
OPPORTUNITY FOR 4 CAREER.
Huh" snccrcd Willie. "Your'rc
aothin' but a girl. You can't never be
President"
mo, but | can be the Presidents
wife, )" retortcd Sukcy, proudly, land
tell people how to make apple dump
inys. - Truth.
WHAT WORRIED HER.
"AIahcl, this question Of marriage is
serious one that | hope you have con-
,idcrcd we'll. y
Mabe-oh, dear, yes, auntie, have
worried myself sick already about my
Chicago lnter-Ocean.
If YOU HIT THEM.