The Helena independent., 1892-07-26
|CREAT CH[WERS OF GUM.
There Was Prize Match One
Night at Steve Brodie's
Place
|Big Mouthed Bill, Hoboken Pete,
Blinky MCMILLAN and Other
Celebrities In It.
The Prize = Valuable Diamond Worth
$3.50, On Which = Man Could Get
Il Any Day.

q Any Day.
Written for THE HELENA INDEPENDENT
"HE BOWERY SALOON WAS Do
N ing rushing business. Before the
wv polished rosewood bar stood crowd
Of shabbily dressed men, in various inele-
CANT postures, who Razed in rapt admira-
tion at thel pictures OF deceased pugilists
papsrinR the walls. The few grains Of sand
labeled From Yankee sullivsn's grave"
elisited profound interest, while the crude
samples Of the semi-nude In ART created
such discriminating criticisms AZ Tvs
about time Comstook took pesp IN dis
ranch!' Tho proprietor. stockliy bulls
man, with furtivs eyes, was here, there and
everywhere. like a rat In cellar. A mar
BILE slab, into which had been ont the name,
'Stsvs Brodte." lay before the door. A.
intervals youaR and ELUSIVE colorsd man,
whom Steve called his ''vallie," came out
OF the saloon with pail Of water and
mop. In the presence Of an admiring crowd
he carefully washed the marble slab and
then covered il with . place OF second
hand Administer carpet. This operation
was gone through with eighty times every
day; not that il was nsosssary. but because,
as Steve said. 1T makes dc blokes' eyes
open like olam shells. Nothin' makes dc
Bowery gillies' jaw drop like styie!'
On recent evening the "vallie" had
washed tho marble for tho eighty -nrst time.
when tall, slouchy man sslutsd him in =
tone saturated wish ram and plug tobacco.
Said he:
A. -. ~s,n$y a. - AhA inv fvEVyV
match here tonight. Is that 10, JockoT"
who you eallin' Joeko, white man! You
Rra' big knock knssd, splay-footed. bow.
legged old bag o. bones! want you to un-
nsrstan' I amt no common. NO 'eeun'
Blescker street nigger. amt Pm Mr..
Brodie's vallis.'"
Nov, don't you got nifty, Gully" replied
the white man. "You're workin' for your
gin and free lunch, and ain't aRoin' TO
take any pickles out O. your mouth. Now,
run right along and toll your boss that
can chew moro gum in less time than
Charley Mitchell. and he's got more jaw
than steer. I've chewed onions. pies,
molasses candy and raw potatoes in
matches, and never got beat yet: II
can't beat any man ON the Bowery chewin'
gum I'll eat my shirt"
II guess you'd chew railroad iron for a
drink" said the 'vallle," with grin, as he
august presence of Mr.. Brodie. The latter
has cynical faculty of raising his custom
ers and in accordance with this oensorlous
practice he exclaimed;
Hello, Big Mouth Bill! So you want to
work your grinders, eh? WE'LL don't think
nin't been in training like the other en-
tries. They've been .praoticin' on sole
leather aud Bowery sandwiches for week
and their jaws.is Timber AZ an old shoe.
Gum chewin' il Jest like prize fQhtin'!
Yon,ye 60. e.1.,s 10 Git your muscles in rstola''
"Wots the prize7' said Bill.
1.-THE prize is a di'mon' medal. It's 4
good stone. paid 81. SO for it down to the
original Cohen's shop and he says he'll give
the winner q dollar on it. You 90 in the
back room and wait till the chnmpeen of
while"
Bill won't into the back room whore he
found four other contestants. Each of
these bore his appropriate nickname. There
was Hoboken Pete, with jaw like lion;
Blinkv Mcmillan from Skeneatles, whose
while johnny Halls Pet, a stalwart negro,
and Billy Fangs had been supplied with
formidable sets of mastioatory machinery.
Each contestant looked at his neighbor
nskance for awhile until the community Of
interest broke the ice of reserve and they
all dropped into sooinble converse. Each
related some marvellous experience in the
chewing limo Johnny Halls Pet said he
had accomplished the feat of eating ~
cent Bowsry oustard pie while running
around a block in the unprecedented time
of minute and one-quarter. This
achievements was Offset by the performance
of Billy Fangs, who declared he had
ohewod and swallowed twelve soda crackers
III as many minutes. "Mebbe youse mugs
don't think that was much to do" he CON
tinued, earnestly. but you try to chew
dry soda crackers without water and it'll
keep you a-Raping like 4 chicken with the
pip"
In this delightful fashion the evening
wore away until the arrival of the orches-
ira, which consisted of a black piccolo
rlayer and a white Ruitarist. The news OF
the impending chewing gum match had
gone abroad and the saloon began to grad
ually fill up until there were a hundred
sports present. The tedium Of waiting for
the Connecticut champion was enlivened by
the guitar player, who sang parody on
maggie Murphy's Home" which was like
this:
You can stand in Grogan's alley,
About mile away,
At tho breaking of the day,
Her head goes in the bucket,
She doesn't mind the foam
For there are not any glasses
In Maggie Muir phys home.
This tender little sentiment was received
with murmurs of applause, and elcited an
encore. While the singer was still warbling
about the flower from his angel mothers
grave Mr.. Brodie entered in company with
Wally Perkins. from NauRatuok, Conn. He
wore wide brimmed straw hat and large
checked trousers. His jaws were waRging
lazily on piece of practice gum. and q
quiet smile of conscious Sup6riol ity rested
on his face. The time had now come for
action. The outer door OF the saloon was
closed, and Steve cautioned the audience to
keep STILL Said he:
II want youse blokes to understand that
this amt no Homestead riot. It's Just
little racket wot I've got up fer to tickle
me customers. Keep yer traps closed and
everything ill be lovely. But if ennybody
gets funny something ill drop. Pm s-run-
MIN this gin mill. and the first calf that
s4ueals gifts plug in the lanterns and
goes out on his head. Now. gents, make