St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-03-12
ABsEST-MISDEn,

Z neral:
"No, said the absent-minded man. e
was SO busy. I'll go to his next one, sure
busy or not. y Indianapolis Journal.
THE FLOWERS OF THE FAMILY.
The youth was most prudent and careful
, In makinga choice of wife,
SO he married The Flower of the Fam
ily7
And she is the thorn of his life.
IRISH PUNS.
Charles Lamb made some famou:
, pUns, and his mantle seems to have faIIel
, upon his namesake, Charles LIANT
kenney.
The popular journalist was dining at
the house of a friend, and by chance
swallowed a bit of cork with his wine
which gave him q severe coughing fit
Take care, my friend" said his next
neighbor. with very brilliant attempt at
wlttlcsm, "that's not the way to Cork u
"No," gasped the sufferer. cts the
way to kill kenney - London Truth.
MONEY EASILY EARNED.
''What? Another new dre.s! said q
married man to his better half, as the
parcel was opened.
Don't distress yourself" she replied.
81 paid for this out of my own pocket. :"
ooh, indeed! But where did you get
tho money FROM"
81 sold your overcoat," was the cool
reply.
MRS. sCRIMP's GARDENING.
Old Friend-Dd you have much of
garden this year?
Mr.. Scrimp (of Scrimpville)-No it
didn't amount to much. In the spring |
gave grand garden digging tournament,
the young men who dug the most to have
the pick of the girls for the evening, and
it worked well, but it cost me most two
dollars for refreshments. Then had
| planting bee, and that wasn't so expen-
sive, only tho planting wasn't half done
Later on l tried to get up wedding
festival, but somehow the young folks
sort o lost interest, and | gave up gar
dening in disgust Il New York Weekly.
SUITABLE FOR THE OCCASION.
"Chicago won't be satisfied with trac-
ton cars during the celebration of 49,"
remarked the Snake Editor.
"Won't eh? Hadn't heard of that" re-
piled the Horse Editor.
"No; she will adopt the Colum bus
-LPittsburg ChronicIe-Telegraph.
THE REASON.
"Why is the road to destruction broad,
papa"
at has to be, my son, to accommodate
the travel"
THE BL1GHTED YOUTH.
paced the floor in anguish wild,
Or sat in deep detection;
/ felt extremely sad and ried,
l had had my first rejection.
I went to bed and groaned all night,
10 die my aim was steady!
But | fell asleep at broad daylight,
And slept till lunch was ready.
KNEW THE MEN.
Salesgirl-I wish to resign my place.
I'm going to be married to Mr.. Clipper,
OF the ribbon counter.
Manager-My dear child, that is no
reason for stopping work. Keep your
place.
Salesgirl "a close observer)--It won't !
do. I'm afraid if don't knock off and |
do nothing, he will.-LGood News.
WARM ENOUGH.
New Boarder (shivering)-The house
seems very cold, madam
Mrs. Slimdiet-Does it? Why, I'm as
hot as fire.
"IIum. Pardon me, but why does the
end of your nose look 50 blue?"
"Oh. that comes from my aristocratic
ancestry. = Good News.
A SMART HUSBAND.
Mr.. De Fashion-The paper says
'ealers are disappointed at the low prices
for skins in London this sea-
son.
Mrs. De Fashion-That's splendid.
You know [ need new
Mr.. De Fashion-The paper says the
iurs are very cheap, dirt cheap.
Mrs. De Fashion, never did care
much for seal-fur It's too warm.
AFTER THE BALL.
She-Has papa asked you about your
income?
Hc-Yes.
She-And you told him that little fb
lbont the large salary?
He-Yes.
She--l'm so glad.
He--WelI, I'm sorry. He borrowed
80 from me on the spot.