Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1892-06-17
A letter from Quail Quill.
FIsuER's HILL, VA, June II, '02.


Mr.. EDITOR -
On the grounds of fai
play am sure yon will grant place II
the HERALD for further ventilation of tbt
so called matrimonial advancement com
panY Of Saumsylle and Mt. Olive. And il
replying to the article in tho HERALD Of
June 3rd, written by the bosses OF the
SAID firm, desire to say that anything
pertaining 10 the advancement Of The
mattimonal interests generally, is good
move and J am strong advocate of two
important things, w. early piety and
early marriage" | have impressed this
fact upon this venturesome firm, above
named, time and again far anterior to
the conception of any such enterprise, as
has given them 50 much prominence ia
this great republic, and this scheme will
hardly enable the treasurer" to jump
into the matrimonial hai ness-neither,
some OF the other bosses. As to early
DieGy, well, my ADVICE has availed moth
ing. In conversation with his favorite
girl the treasurer said there were about
50 manageable giIls "in" and between
ut. Olive and Saumsville, including old
maids and widows and a dozen men, in
GLIDING himself and tie other bosses. The
young lady was astonished at this calcu-
lation, when / iast whispered, that the
treasurer was making that impression
simply to save hims II from a continuous
sour grapes voyage if such a thing were
possible
As to advertising the privilege OF call
upon pretty and most attractive young
lady--that would not dO-as then the
"treasureT would know just when to slip
in to see whose that" As he never reads
the Sun or World / am reminded of a
dream, trAnsposed, with the foll)ving ap-
plicatiOn. The name Of the party will
appear as you will s3e:
Having died be made his way 20 Heaven
and having knocked Justify mt the beauti
fDl jasper 9. t. thereof an old gentle
man with a venerabls beard came TO the
gate and pok.ng bis head through the
wicket of the gate, inquired who's
there p 1T is o" answered Charles
Eyes, yes, 50 see, said the saint "bnt
who are you p II am G. A. s., of SlumS-
vile, Va, Treasurer OF tho Matrimonial
Advancement Co." Well, Charles, hat
do YOU want ?" asked the saint. want
to get IN there" responded Charl's.-
"Well. you can't get in here. Charles"
said the saint with dist net intOnation
of sympathy. "Pm very sorry for yOu.
but we've got no room for you; you'll
have to try the other place" of course
this made Charles feel very badly. II
was a good deal of a disappointment to
hin. Bat, determined not to be left out
in the cold, Gan you know Charles has a
good deal Of hangonishness about him) be
walked eff downward and presently
brought MP at the door Of DWELL, snip.
pose we csll ii Gas the saint did) "the
other place. "Not so bad as it might be"
thought Charles, as he knocked Justify at
the door. he did not have to knock twice,
(as he dill when Quail Qnill was chatting
the treasurer 5 best GRID for instantaneous
Is the door opened and the leeTlOg face of
the arch fsnd himself was thrust inqnr-
irgly forth. "Who's there ? asked the
hideons imp. cit is ~ answered Charles.
"Well, yes, so should say qnOth the
fiend. "blt whO-pardOn my ignorance
who are yon ~ 81 am c. A s.. of Saums,
VILE, Va, Treasurer of the Matrimonial
Advancement Co.." answered Charles
"Ah. indeed said Satan. Well, Charles
what do You want % 81 want to get in
there" answered Charles. Satan pulled
in BIZ, head for few moments. then
TRUSTING 10 forth again, "Charles," said
be, Il don't find vour name down on our
book ami | can't let you in" "But you'll
have To. ~ cried Charles, 1--WE Just been to
the other place (seconl only to MI. olive
and they won't have me there because l
bellnL to a rival institution. and told me
that matches are made in Heaven Pm
bound to get in here" "No," said Satan,
firmly. bat kindly, "Im very sorry for
YOU. Charles, bnt it can't be helped. pig
without curly continuation can't be adj
milted can't let you in with that
Satan banged the door and Charlie was
left standing outside alone, discOnsolate'
hopeless. Then the horror of the only al
Tentative presented itself TO Charles, and
an awful cry, ike a volcanic outbErst, Is
sued from his pallid lips: Great Caesar
have got to 90 back to Saumsyllle "
This is given as a prophetic vision OF
the awful consequences OF that enterprls-
ing firm, and in closing l desire to say
that there is no danger Of exciting enmi-
is. as this STYLE of writing is a sort OF haO-
il acquired i'm former literary societles,
and we have learned to forbear with good
VII for all. am as ever, truly yours
QUAIL QUILL.
With the above we must bring the con-
troversy to a close. Both parties have
now been treated fairly, we think, and cal
end no fault with us. A little fun, like
the above, is doubtless relished now anC
then by Or readers, especially IN th'
neishJorhoods most nearly concerned, BIZ
it does not do to keep it up too long. w
will, however, be grateful if these tv'
sprightly correspondents will kindly fur
nish us with the legitimate news eacl
week from their respective neighbor
hoods Ed ]