San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1892-04-15
AN AFFECT APOLOGY.
MAJOR WOODLANDS NARROW ESCAPE
FROM FIGHTING A DUEL.

Anxious to Straighten Out the Affair.
The Stranger Didn't Realize the Feel
ings of the Man He Employed.
Something like twelve years ago James
Fl. Woodland, now private secretary to c.
P. Huntington, but at that time the In
diana correspondent of the Cincinnati En-.
quirer, met with an adventure in Mobile
which is worth retelling. Woodland told
the story himself, and therefore any one ac-
quainted with him will understand that it
may be relied upon as strictly true.
At that time John r. Mclean and Others
had become interested in the construction
of a railroad from Mobile to the shores of
the gulf at the entrance to Mobile bay. On
one occasion Woodland was sent down To
look after the interests of the northern
stockholders, expecting to remain there
for several weeks. He took quarters at
one of the leading notes.-the one which
he preferred above all others on account of
the general superiority of its cuisine. He
had been at the hotel for several days, and
everything was moving along with him to
his entire satisfaction, but one fateful
morning, when at breakfast, the waiter
set before him plate of fried fish, to
which he was compelled to object.
1t was not only an unsightly object, but
exhaled most unsavory odor. Judging
by the smell, the fish might have been kept
over without salt from the previous sea-
sons catch, and, moreover, it had been
scorched badly in the frying. Calling the
waiter back, Woodland requested him to
remove the fish, which he did. Then,
thinking nothing more of the affair, he
went on to finish his breakfast. While
thus engaged he was astounded at having
the Objectionable dish thrust under his
nose, accompanied by the demand from the
cashier, addressed to him in an insulting
tone:
What hev yez to say g'inst that fesh'"
Woodland, indignant at being thus adj
dressed, replied, with some asperity, that
he based his objection upon the fact that it
was unfit to be placed on the table.
"Yez're too particular fer this house."
responded the cashier as he dropped the
plate on the table and turned away.
IN THE HANDS OF THE COLONEL.
AS he was about to rise from the table
Woodland was handed note from the
landlord requesting him to settle his bill
and seek accommodations at some other
hotel, since it appeared his present hostelry
was not conducted in a manner to suit his
fastidious tastes This was sumner. He
had special reasons for wishing to remain
at the hotel, and yet did not feel like seek
ing the landlord and humbling himself to
the extent of apologizing. He determined
to think over the matter for a few hours
before deciding. On leaving the hotel he
went directly to the Office of a lawyer who
had been retained as the attorney of the
railroad company, and was there intro
duced to gentleman somewhat past mid
die age, of courtly manners and dignified
appearance, whose title of Colonel
seemed to fit him as though he had been
born and bred to it.
After a short time devoted to business.
Woodland became suddenly impressed with
the thought that his friend, the attorney,
might be able to dissipate the cloud of
trouble between himself and his landlord,
and he accordingly related the incident of
the breakfast table. Before he had time
to say word as to what he wanted in con-
nection with the affair, the Colonel"
broke in upon him with: .. ..
"Major Woodland, will you do me the
honor to place this matter in my hands?
1t will afford me great pleasure to serve
you, sir, and feel warranted in assuring
you that you will have no cause to regret
having confided the settlement of the
affair to me-"
Woodland promptly assured his new
friend that he would be only too glad to
accept his services, and thanked him for
his generous offer to serve a stranger.
Say no more on that point, major" re
sponded the colonel. at is true that our
acquaintance is quite young, but, sir, l feel
have warrant for saying that any man
who has been presented to me by my
friend, the Judge here, must be a gentle
man, and it is the imperative duty, as it
should he the heartfelt pleasure, of one
gentleman to serve another"
After inquiring if Woodland could meet
him there at II o'clock, and receiving an
affirmative answer, the colonel withdrew,
and Woodland, after finishing his business
with the attorney, went about his business
elsewhere. Promptly at II O'Clock he re-
turned to the attorneys Office There he
met the colonel, whose face fairly beamed
with satisfaction.
SETTLED WITHOUT BLoODSHED.
1T is all right, major" said he, as he
caught sight of Woodland; everything is
satisfactory. He will apologize-amply
and abjcctly. You will have no further
trouble there, sir. He claims that the case
was grossly misrepresented but we care
nothing for that, so long as he makes his
apology in befitting terms"
Woodland had great difficulty in con-
cealing his establishment at the words of
the colonel, but managed to express in fit
ting language his appreciation of the serv-
ice done him.
"Say nothing of that, major" replied the
colonel. This has been real pleasure to
me. In these degenerate days, when we
Gl 49,, o+.l;,,,, 81 HOW b,