davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21

that crossed just over the boiler with
in q foot or two ofthe manhole, which
was open. Here he stopped.
Listen" said the captain.
/ did SO, md heard the steady tap,
tap, tap OF h lmmers against the boil.
er's sides. They were riviting new
plate over the leak. The captain con-
tinued:
Extend your hand-not too far
just q little.'
did it, and drew back with sharp
cry. 1t was like thrusting ones hand
into a boiling geyser. A volume OF
Oil. poured from the open manhole in
the boiler so blistering hot and with
such force that it seemed to me
my hand was almost torn from the
wrist.
would you think a man could
live in there?" asked the cap.
tain.
"Good heavens!''
"Yes-but listen"
The hammers tap, tappety, tap,
tap, tappety, tap.
"a man is there!" gasped.
The captain shrugged his shout,
ders.
It's a being OF some Sort" he said.
"He volunteered.
stared at the opening in the boiler
unable to believe my ears, waiting to
see if human being should actually
come from that superheated oven.
Meanwhile my blstered hand was
wrapped in wad OF machine waste
dipped in oil.
Then they brought him alive!
struggled to get a look at him.
What saw was the man Pierre, tot
ally stripped except a pair OF trunks
about his limbs. His skin. was red
perfectly red, baked to the color of a
lobster. SEQ
Extended on a bank of cotton,
where they had laid him, he moaned
in an agony that was sickening to De
hold. In an hour he was dead. Be
fore another hour was gone he was
dropped over the side.
The passengers of the Belle were de-
lighted and gratifed that the ship
should be churning ahead in its
course once more in defiance OF the
stiff gale that was blowing. Their in
quiries were met with the imforma-
ton that the boiler had been repaired
with the assistance OF a. deserter whom
the ship had taken up at Lisbon and
Left. But nothing was said OF
that, .s
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
a PERvERsloN.

1--WE always reckoned," said Miss Mott,
"Your sister and her aunt could not
Live long in peace and now I've got
To know they can't,
Cause yesterday a-goin' thro'
The street met your sister, who
Just fatty said she's goin' to
Arrest her aunt"
Next day my sister CHANGED our way
And I rehersed without delay
What had heard the gossip say;
She looked askant,
Laughed till her eyes seemed brimmed
with dew,
Then said. "the lady's wits askew,
told her I was going to
A restaurant"
Boston Courier.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Hard To Suit.

Not ali farmers are constitutions
al gruinblers, by any means, but per
=haps some OF the most inveterate
fault-fnders in the world are to be
found in their ranks.
+ "Well, Mr.. Pease," said visitor to
8 farmer one fine August day, chow
do things go with your
"Bad 'nough! bad 'nough!'' said the
farmer. "Look at that corn sufferin'
there; needs hot and dry weather to
ripen it. Too rainy and cool fer It'll"
''But this is a beautiful warm day
to-day
eyes, plague take it,! Look at that
great field OF rowen over there, that
I'm jest dependin', upon fer feed.
ten we faint had half 'nough rain to
fetch it along-too warm an dry fer
it,"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
The Aristocracy OF Locality.

Tchobblotz-Vas you going to dake
your family to Rockaway Peach again
dis summer"
summerpanz-"No; I go by Long
Pranch. I moved my shtore on
Broadway now"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
A Strange Case.

g%4 A Strange Case.
Mr.. Suburb-''Did you get the lawn
mower, and cut that grass this morn
ing rs l told your"
Little Son-"N-o, I was sick this
morning. I thort l was goin' to die
I was SO weak; an this afternoon l
forgot it,
What have you been doing all the
afternoon?"
- "Playin' tug O. war;"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Consistent.

=1'It ees, however," said the disti1l.
guished foreigner, as he concluded his
story, simply a matter OF heard.
said" " "
"You mean hear-say,' of course,
Count"
"A-h-h; but zis was told me some
time ago."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Coming Along Slowly.

"Were you ever in Phi ladelphia?''
Yes. In 1S46."'
n ''You? Why, you weren't born IN
til 1862.
II know it-but it was 1916 in
Philadelphia when | was there"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Knew What She Was About.

Mother-'NIis Catchem has q love,v
voice, and you know it. Why did
YOU ask her to sing for Mr.. Richfello?',
Daughter latter Mr.. Richfello )-see
that mirror in front Of the piano?',
Yes. z
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
THE DEsERTER.

E took h i'm
aboard at Lis
bon.
We had steam
ed some two
hundred miles
T o m, O u r
course in order
toput into that.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Nice and Good.

+ Aunty-"Do you think this cake is
nice?"
Little Niece, from Boston,-"Yes, T
easily 'cognize the fact that the pro-
portions Of the ingredients are exact,
to a nicely. That is why it is
good"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
The Officious Friend.

'o 'i'c'o>u9 Fl'ellu'
tSay Billus, WHY don't YOU marry
Miss Smithors9,,
uo,s ,,
~ can T..
Yes, you can. You're we'll off and
she's willing, III bet.''
Out
,;ah+a -,
forts - bo,,a NJ, :. - 80
like a man, -
uc.-,1 ~. -, !,
: "And Won WON'T ~ arrv her9,,
"No.'' -
"Sure?"
yes"
''Why not?''
'tI've already married hpr >,
Chicago.
~. L. Ea
- 80 ! : ~.
A doctor was summoned to attend
- - ) $50 - AAo "1ote ooc
80 .n vas promptly
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
A stitute,

A Substitute,
Sweet Girl Graduate, at a restaur-
ant, - Haven't you any pick
les?''
Waiter-"We got out only few
minutes ago, but we've got plen-
ty OF strawberry shortcake,
ma am"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
She Prefers TalIow Dips,

What kind O. fireworks are those?"
asked Aunty Meddergrass OF her city
nephew, on the night OF the Fourth.
'"Those are Roman candles, Aunty."
Are they? Well, I'm glad l don't
live in Rome. I'd hate the worst kind
to have to sew by the light of them
things
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
well, Mr.. Richfello sits right in
range where he can see her face.
She looks like q whiteWashef
chimpanzee when she sings"
Did Very Well.

Did Very Well.
Friend We'll, the hanging COM
m M '' accepted your picture. !"
Artist" Eth? wha-? | haven't sent
any picture. Ny picture "a Foggy
Morning was to be sent, but the
stupid man made a mistake"
What did he take?'
AN old frame with a. piece Of
spoiled canvas in it?"
well, they took it anyhow You
5knoWlt's an impressionist exhibition
Catching a Man.
Miss Grabbem Mr.. Richchapp re-
marked last night that he liked a
woman who showed consideration for
the feelings OF neighbors."
Mrs. Grabbcm- "Y GU must do some
thing to show him that you are that
kind Of. a woman"
Miss Grabbem-"Yes, / know-but
What?'
Little Brother-"When he asks you
to sing, close the windows"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
SOME FILTERED JEsTS.
WIT AND. HuMoR FROM BRIGHT
EXCHANGES.
I.aughable Incidents, Humorous
Sayings and Droll Dolngs
From Every Day
Life.
He Meant No Insult.

"A young man VINO suffers from the
embarrassing affection Of stammer-
ing entered one OF the modest bean
cries OF Park Row the other evening
to lget a lunch. He chose the place,
not so much because OF its attrac-
tions, nor because it was handy, but
rather because he dislikes to go into a
more public place with his faultiness
OF speech. AS luck would have it,
however, there was no vacant tables,
and he was obliged to sit down to one
already occupied by another young
man.
"Puh-puh-puh-pork and bib
BEANS" he murmured to the waiter
who came up.
That functionary looked alittle sur
prised. "Puh-puh-puh-pork and BIB
b-b-beans All r-r-r-r.right, SIR he
said, and hurried back with the order.
The young man was very indignant
at being Knocked. He Redeemed, and
when the waiter came back he got up
with the intention of boxing the fell
lows ears:
But no sooner was he on his feet
than the young man who atopposite
also arose and interfered.
"D-d-d-don't hit him!' cried the
new young man. "He w-w-w-wasn't
MN. knocking you. He st-st-st-stut-
tiers l-l-l-llke w-w-w-we d-d-d-do.''-
New York Recorder.
Not to Be Fooled.
A Texas farmer entered the office of
Dallas, Texas, merchant prince, and
asked him if he would like to buy
some fresh butter, which he had
brought to town in his wagon. II
really don't know whether my wife
needs any butter just now, but I'll
find out,' replied the merchant, and
stepping to the telephone he called up
his wife and had some conversation
on the subject. Then he turned to
the countryman, who had carefully
watched the proceedings, and whose
face was study for an artist. "No, =
said the merchant, ''my wife tells me
that she has butter enough on hand
for some time'' ''That's all right,
Cap. You don't need no buy any
butter if you don't want to. All you
have got to do is to say so, but you
needn't play me for a fool by trying
to make me believe you have got your
wife locked up in that little box! ]
reckon have some sense left, if I am
from the country. You can't fool
me-"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21

Saving Stamp.
Mamma why did you put two
stamps on this letter? One would have
been plenty
Little Tommy Gone of the stamps
was tored, and | didn't want to
waste it,"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Bred In the Bone

There's q new attraction at the
museum M this week. It is an ossihed
fish, 0
a shad, presume"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21

s 70. a..
ne rs told your
Little Son-"N-o, I was sick this
morning. I thort I was goin' to die
was SO weak; an this afternoon l
orgot it,"
What have you been doing all the
afternoon?"
s. ''Playin' tug O. war;"
Consistent. a..
It ees, however," said the distin
,uished foreigner, as he concluded his
story, "simply a matter OF heard.
said"
"You mean hear-say,' of course,
Count
"A-h-h; but zis was told me some
time ago." r.
Coming Along Slowly.
"Were you ever in Phi ladelphia?"
80 Eyes. In 1916"
i ''You? Why, you weren't born I'M
til 1862,
II know it-but it was 1916 in
Philadelphia when | was there"
The Aristocracy OF Locality.
Tchobblotz-Vas you going to dake
your family to Rockaway Peach again
dis SUMMER
summerpanz-"No; I go by Long
Pranch / moved my shtore on
now
Nice and Good.
Aunty- edo you think this cake is
nice?"
Little Niece, from Boston, Eyes, T
easily 'cognize the fact that the pro-
portions Of the ingredients are exact,
to a nicely. That is why it is
good.n
A Substitute,
Sweet Girl Graduate, at restaur-
ant, M Haven't you any pick
les?,
zWaiter-"We got out only few
ago, but we've got plen-
ty OF strawberry shortcake,
ma am"
Saving a Stamp.
Mamma -1Why did you put two
stamps on this letter? One would have
been plenty
Little Tommy of the stamps
was tored, and l didn't want to
waste it,
Notin Harmony.
Little Dot. Mamma, I mus have
a new doll right away"
Mamma What is the matter with
the old one?"
Little ot--'It'sgot some scratches
on its face, an it looks sorter shabby
along side OF baby"
b. What it's For.
Country Child(who sees no novelty
IN 9 park What is all this grass
for?''
Of
He Knows Better.
Briggs you going back to the
Bangup hotel this year?
Griggs-Not much. / came away
asst year from that hotel and forgot
% tip the head waiter.-Life.
S
HIS Way.
Don't be angry, old fellow-it's
only my way
We'll, ] wish you'd emulate the
oahes in the wood"
How
Lose your way. It's nogood."
Bred In the Bone.
There's new attraction at the
museum y N this week. It is an ossihed
= a
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
Knew the Judge.

Observation-Disclosures is your age.
Rummy Moll-"Well, judge, I don't
rightly know, but mebby I kin give
you an dear
Magistrate-"Giv eus heidea, then"
Rummy Moll-"Well, you was
grown man wen was a little girl, an
now you air courtin' a lady what was
a little girl when I was a grown wo-
man.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21
His Way.

Don't be angry, old fellow-it's
only my way
Well, ! wish you'd emulate the
babes in the wood"
How
Lose your way. It's mo good"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-07-21

Briggs-Are you going back to the
Bangup hotel this year?
GriggsNot much. l came away
last year from that hotel and forgot
to tip the head waiter Life.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02
A Sun Pillar.

An instance of this rare and beautiful
phenomenon, known as sun pillar, was
seen by Miss Annie Lea, of Lutterworth,
on the 9Th of March, 1892, just as the
sun was sinking behind thick layer of
stratus cloud. A bank of dust haze"
formed a background TO the clouds.
When the appearance was first seen
about three-fourths of the solar disk was
below the edge of the cloud bank. From
the upper part of the disk rose vertical
column of light, resembling an inverted
obelisk, the tip resting on the rim of the
sun.
The column was about dogs. high,
and its upper end was lost in the clouds.
1t was orange red in color below and
yellowish white above. The display
lasted for some minutes after the sun
sank, but gradually faded away. The
pillar Is sometimes seen in the morning
above the rising sun, and occasionally
the conical end is upperinost. The phe-
nomenon has never been satisfactorily
explained. 1t has been suggested that
its resemblance to an Egyptian obelisk
may be other than accidental The city
of On. or Heliopolis, where these obelisks
were so numerous. was devoted TO the
worship of the sun.-London Tit-Bits.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02

William II. Seward used 10 tell a
story that seemed 10 give him great JOY
to repeat. When he was a member of
the state senate the first time he re-
ceived message from one of the most
distinguished politicians in New York
asking for an interview. Mr.. Seward
felt pleased 10 be honored thus, and
arraying himself in his Sunday clothes,
which consisted of blue broadcloth
coat, cut swallow tail fashion, light col
ored trousers strapped over the CATERS,
a very high dickey collar and stiff stock
and bell crowned beaver hat, he went
10 call on the distinguished man. He
was received in the parlor, and the poll
tician. while courteous, was cold and
distant, treating him with the utmost
formality. Mr.. Seward said, Il thought
perhaps you had some special business
with me-"
mo, sir; / do not think of any-in
fact, supposed you We're paying me a
call of mere respect"
''But | received message from you "
81 do not remember to have sent one.
am expecting this afternoon a visit
from Senator Seward. Maybe my re-
quest has miscarried. / did not catch
your name"
"Why, l am Senator Seward, gen.
eral"
The politician arose from his seat,
went toward Seward, put his hands on
his shoulders and said: ''Well, senator,
you will pardon me, know. supposed
you were young beau who had called
with lurking desire to meet my daugh-
ter. Let me apologize by saying that
You have indeed an old head ON young
shoulders"
Then he abandoned his formal man
ner, and an intimacy was begun which
lasted for years.-New York Sun.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02

ciiag coussss. the day being woond up
With display u fireworks and lantern
parade q bicyonscs, which Wa Attended
By fally 800 r,sisss u the silent sss-d
In the 30 ys<ds r.ss. over ten . f. Q IN
bar.ai<s. A y. Copland. Manhattan Ath-
leeie club, sstablsshed . record II 81 SEC
ends The 80 yards handicap run vas
wen By j. J. DoRAhGs, u Worcester,
from the enc yard mark IN % IS seconds.
X w GoE, Manhattan Ath1 &C club,
broke the American hop. step and Jump
record q - n. II in. creating ne~ one
of AZ r. IN, which Is enly fourteen inches
worse than the worlds recocd held by J.
Purcell, OF Ireland Other nne perform
anees were NJ Sweeney's running high
Jump Of f. l IN, and J. ;. Mitchell 5
throw Of ls7 f.. e14 IN. with the lo-poand
hammer
W {. Downs finished second from scratch
IN the 500 yards run, less than four feet De
hind the winner, whose time was Is 10
seconds. Downs performance Was equal
70 IS rs seconds. The American reoosd Is
- seconds. and Is held by l. F. Myers. The
nile walk between W. III. Meek, scratch,
ard T. Sherman, fve seconds start. was the
best contest Of the day. Meek caught and
passed Sherman az the half distance, but
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02
Our First Understanding OF Storms.

In the year 1921 a severe storm pre-
vailed along the eastern coast, which for
many years was known IA the great
September gale" 1t held that title until
September. 1869 when another and more
remarkable one occurred. which rather
disturbed It's claim to the honor. II was
q little time after this first storm that
Redtield. while making a journey in
Massachusetts,, was struck by some
what curious fact. He noticed that in
Massachusetts, the trees Frustrated by
the wind all lay with their heads to The
southeast, showing that the gale there
was from the northwest. but N Connec-
ticut the trees blown down in the same
storm lay head to the northwest. show
ing that the gale had been southeast
one. He sscertsined. moreover, that
when the wind was blowing southeast
In Middlstown. his home. it was north.
west at a place not seventy miles from
there.
IL was then that the idea flashed
across his mind that the gale was a pro-
gressive whirivind. That was great
thought. II was such n fash Of percep-
ton "a came to Newton when he con
nected the falling apple with the planets
In space. II was such an insight into
the meaning II a fact a. James Watt
had when be saw the possibilities Of the
force that wac rafting the - IF the
kettle on his mothers FIRE The devel-
opnent Of that idea was destined one
day TO put Redfeld in the ranks # the
great scientific thinkers Of his day.
He made this storm the basis - his IN
vesfisstions. following his researches
into It's movements by a careful collec-
zion II facts in relation r. others ike IL
For ton years he studied and examined
and compared his facts before ne pub
hshed his theory u storms Prom J. G.
Adams IN Popular Science Monthlv.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02
Still He Was Happy.

At one of the sessions of the st. Louis
conference Of the Methodist Episcopal
church Rev. DR.. Shumate, Of Glasgow,
Mo-, related the following anecdote,
which brought down the house: "Some
Methodists of an emotional type were
holding an old fashioned meeting in q
grove. Under the inspiration of hearty
singing and fervent prayers they became
shouting happy, and jumping up and
down like plantation negroes at a revi-
val made the woods ring with 'hallelu-
iahs.' One man who was more demon
strative than the rest, and who wished
particularly to emphasize the fact that
religion agreed with him, kept waving
his arms in the air and exclaiming,
GLORY to God; I'm happy.
''In one OF his sky sweeping gestures
he struck the limb of tree, knocking
down a hornets nest. Some of the hor-
nets crawled up his pantaloons and
stung him. Clutching frantically at his
brooches he yelled: Brethren, there is
something on me. Yes, there is-there is
something on me. But. glory to God, I'm
happy st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02
SPORTING NOTES.

8. Perry Worden recently returned from
q thirteen weeks bicycle tour OF the Brit
ish isles. which cost him only ninety-five
dollars. He Travelled second class on steam
ships, stopped over night with private
families and often cooked his own meals.
Pneumatic tires are not looked upon with
favor in India The hot climate melts the
cement, and the rubber becomes rotten in
six months or less. Cushions are the IA
vorites. Cycling has only lately been
taken mp in India. but the sport is fast be-
coming popular
Scroggan Bros. sold King Lee 70 Nick
FINER for 10000 For other parties they
now make his present owner a standing
offer OF 10000 for the crack son of King
Alfonso.
During the twenty-seven years that a
cricket record OF W. G.. Grace's bowling
has been kept, the champions record has
been Q. AS wickets at cost OF SO. S24 runs,
or an average Of sixteen runs.
Frank Class wants to match Miss Jennie
Smith against any woman in the world to
shoot 100 blucrocks for 800 a side In an
open sweepstakes shoot at Morristown,
y. J.. she broke - bluerocks out Of pos
Al ME o.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02

yhe latter would not De shaken of, aud
coming again in the straight won fine
race by about seven yards. Meek ) actual
time was om. IS l-5s.. and Sherman's tm.
al 3-5s
The championships OF the Atlantic asso-
citation OF the A. A. IT, were held Sept. II
at Philadelphia. Ia the pole vault for
height w :. ROdenbaugh, OF the Athletic
club of the Schuylkill navy. cleared the
bar at II f. IS in. breaking the American
record OF II fl. in held by II. Baxter, of
the New York Athletic club, As ROden-
baugh has never before shown such form
be must have improved wonderfully since
last year, and has n great chance OF break
ing the English record of IL IL. 9 in. held
by Dickinson
Scarcely day passes without some new
record being accomplished by the cyclists.
The most wonderful performances OF late
are one-quarter mile with a flying start
in "a seconds by A. a. Zimmerman, one
half mile with living start in I'm. l-5s. by
W. Windle, and one mile with flying start
in en- ass by A. A. Zimmerman. From
standing start II. c. Tyler, of Spring
field, rode a mile in EN- ass, which is
quite equal 10 2m SIS with flying start.
News comes from Independence, Ia,
that on Sept IL one j. ). johnson rode
one-quarter mile in ~ 3-5 seconds and one
half in ssh seconds. As johnson Is an un-
known man il is reasonable TO suppose
that something was wrong with the dis
lance of the track, or else the watches
were held by inexperienced timers.
A b. GEORGE.
Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-10-02
Inconvenience of Growing Old.

/ am sure do not know why it is. l
am not more i'll looking than many a
married woman whom one sees playing
a conspicuous part in society. and / am
very harmless, unaggressive sort Of
person that would not hurt mouse.
much less a man. vet every spawned old
stager Of my acquaintance will shy at
the sight of me as IL | had nothing in
the world 10 DO but run down defense
less old roadsters for the matrimonial
sweepstakes. Il is really melancholy to
see how suddenly the manners Of my old
friends change toward me II they happen
to be left widowers. There Is old DR.
Witherspoon. for example. who used TO
make tedious little jokes before Mrs. W.
died about taking me for his second
wife, and now he shuns me as II I were
pay day Even old Nr Rail. the red
headed LAWYER. whom refused twenty
years age. and whom my poor friend,
Clara IT.. married onlv a. a last resort
70 keep from going eut as ecverness. rs
So fully persuaded &c NV desire 20 recon
slider that be flies az tis- SIGHT II me as
If strIlck by a cycloue A Lady 81 Tn
-A-tain Age in Laflies' Home Journal