The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-11-27


paid him, and he had the good taste not to
refer TO it verbally.
Teddy passed the corset around his fat
chest and fastened the catches in front.
The garment laced up behind, and Teddy
had wit enough to draw the stay lace tight
and to knot the ends. Except that it was
rather baggy i'll the upper portion of the
front it fitted him very well and gave him
what he had not had for years-;t waist.
Hastily donning the rest OF his bathing
clothes he was soon in the water, waiting
| for the widow.
She tried his patience sorely, and when
| she came there was Il dark cloud OH her
| brow. But Ted was so full OF good humor
and cracked so many jokes that the cloud
| evaporated, and presently the widow was
enjoying herself, us Ted lifted her over the
breakers in his stalwart arms. She had
no idea he was SO strong. nor had she the
least idea shat he had so good figure In
| his ordinary costume lie was actually
shapeless, but now 4 manly chest swelled
| from fairly proportional waist, and the
! widow could not deny that so far as APP
| pearnnce went he was proper man.
One tremendous breaker came which
tested his muscle, but he lifted the widow
over it ut the cost of the buttons on his
tunic. Through the indiscrect aperture
thus made the widows eye discerned an
inner garment which was black.
Sputtering from her immersion, she point
ed with n dark scowl to the object and
asked:
"What is that?'
"Ah, ha" jauntily replied Ted; cha!
part of my bathing costume-made for me
expressly by my tailor on Montgomery
street"
The lady vouchsafcd no reply, but went
out of the water, hastily walked up the
beach and took the direction of her bath
ing room. Ted, who had been so long in
the water that he was chilled through, and
whose fun ended with Dulcineas depar-
ture, followed her example. He assembled
the steps, walked along the corridor,
noting the numbers on the doors till he
came to 82. The door resisted II slight
pressure from his hand, but a vigorous
shove from his shoulder threw it open and
he stood inside
\ piercing female Shrek divided the
air, and Mr. O'NIara's Mortified gaze beheld
Mrs. McDonaghue, still fully equipped in
her bathing suit sitting OH the bench with
his trousers in her hand.
Get out of this, you baster' she screamed.
"Ill get out fast enough" said he "but
I'd like to know what you are doing in my
bathing room"
Its not yours: it's mine. And if you
don't go I'll call the police.'
Il swear hired this room of the keeper
a few minutes ago"
II tell you it's mine, hired by the week"
Perhaps you'll be telling me. swate Mrs.
O'Donaghue, that those are your trousers
you have in your purity hand"
you are BRUTE" cried the widow,
flourishing the male garmcnt-'';i brute
and thafe, too, for that corset you re
wearing is mine, though you did have it
made expressly for you in Montgomery
street"
a suspicion of the mistake began to
dawn on Ted's mind.
''The laundering villain" he muttered.
"1'll break every bone in his body"
Are you going, Mr.. O'AIara," cried the
widow, in more subdued tone, 'or shall
l scrame murder."
"And bring the crowd round us?" not
unadroitly suggested Ted. "How can 20
when you have my trousers in your hand?"
Here are your dirty old Clothes" said
the widow, gathering them up and throw
ing them at him.
Thanks" replied Ted, quite politely.
"And, by the way, rs you lay claim to this
corset, shall 1 take it Off don't know that
l am able to unace it without assistance"
go! Go! Brute! Fiend! Villain!"
And the widow, whose musuclar strength
was not to be despised, pushed him out uf
the bathing room.
1t is not to be supposed that this ami
mated colloquy escaped the ears of the
bathers The keeper of the bathing house,
for prudential reasons of his own, did not
put i'll an appearance on the battlefield,
and when Teddy, having resumed his
proper attire, visited the Office and cx-
pressed Il desire to have Il few moments
conversation with him, his wife declared
hot hal bod Il
be back for IL day or two. But quite O.
number of gentlemen and ladies were con
sumed with curiosity to know the cause of
SO warm controversy, the prevailing opin-
ion being that the fat Irshman had been
guilty of crimes for which death would
have been too lcnient penalty. Nothing
but his decidedly belligerent air prevented
his being called upon by the bystanders
for All explanation.
When Mrs. McDonaghue reappeared in
street costume and accompanied Mr..
O'Mara to the hotel, the women followed
the couple with sarcastic looks, and one
small boy was heard to cry:
Jumbo and his wifcn'
When they reached the Widows sitting
room she burst into paroxysm of tears
and sobbed:
What am to dos"
The situation" said Ted, "must be adj
mittcd TO be embarrassing"
You were seen by lots of people in my
bathing room when was in bathing cos
tune"
81 am afraid | was"
And they probably heard you ask me
to hand you your trousers"
AS well as your remark about my wear
ing your corset"
oh, oh. oh!' sobbed the lady; 'therc is
nothing left for me but to commit suicide.
| can never hold up my head again. twill
he all over San Francisco next week. Aunt
| y rnh will hear Of il and will cnme aud