Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-12-01
PiTH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
1t may be that they always speak
of man as following the races because
he never gets ahead of Buffalo
Express
-Marion-'sMy fance is very excita-
acted like one insane" Martha-"Per-
haps he was. dear."-N. Y. Herald.
Deserved a Smile.-Angelina- 1.-The
man marry must be handsome, brave
and clever" Tomplzins-"Dear me-!
How fortunate we have met"-Travel-
ler's Record.
-Kate-'sAnd SO you are married?
Keeping house, 1 SUPPOSE" Maud
'sNot exactly. There is a lady from
Ireland who keeps the house. but she
allows us to eat and sleep in it."
The cabin boy was in the habit of
eating his 1oaf-bread and leaving the
crusts. Mate-''We eat our crusts
here, laddie" Boy-s'Weel. I'm leav-
ing them tae ye."-Dundee News.
doctor, is it true that extreme
nervousness will produce nausea?"
Eyes; 1 once saw car full of people
throw up their hands when two train
robbers covered them with their pis-
tols."- Philadelphia Record.
"A Large Subject.-Miss Laker lot
Chicago-"You eastern people find the
Chicago girls foot a very satisfactory
subject of discussion" Miss Blocker
-''That's because it covers the ground,
you see."-Detroit Free Press.
THAT was quite a little joke of
mine," he said, with enthusiasm, after
he had exerted himself with bon mot.
ibid you see it?" ''Oh, yes" she an
swered. YEARLY. 81 saw it last week
in a newspaper. "-Washington Star.
Congratulations. Tailor - ''Mr.
Overdue, hear that you are about to
be married to Miss Bullion. Allow me
to congratulate you" Overdue lex
tending his hand)-''Allow me to con-
graduate you."-Smith, Gray & Co.'S
Monthly.
The first thing to be done in pre-
pairing a recipe for piccalilli is for the
houselkeeper to run to Il dictionary and
find out how piccalilli is spelled. In
these days of broad and extensive cul-
ture 'tpickled lily" won't go.-Somer-
vile Journal
AT a lecture on ''The Decline of Lit
erature" the eloquent orator shouted:
'Where are the Chaucers. and Shake
speares, and Millions, and Sponsors, and
Macaulays? Where are they, say?"
And voice answered sadly from the
gallery: ''All dead"-Tit-Bits
Mime. Ira pino-''You told me. sir,
that all had to do was to leave the
tablecloth outside during the night,
and the fruit stains would disappear.
Well. did so last night" ''Ah. then
the stains ''No, 1t was the table,
cloth that disappeared.' - Intran-
sigeant.
It's this novel thoroughly origi-
nal?", asked the publisher. eyer, SIR"
''None of the old characters or situa-
tions?" Not one" s'Well, Sir. it can
not succeed. You must think the pub
lie doesn't know what it has been want
ing all these years. Washington Star.
All That Was Lacking.-"Rapid
transit" said western real estate
boomer proudly. sis all that our town
needs now" EYES," replied his pros
pective purchaser eff there was some
means of getting away quickly people
wouldn't be so afraid to come here
Des Moines Argonaut.
The Young Unconstitutional then
want you to send up peck Of Irish
potatoes" The Grocer-s'Yes, num-"
The Young Housewife-'I myself pre-
fer United States potatoes, but we're
going to have some gentlemen from
Dublin to dinner and 1 want everything
to be in keeping. chicago News-Rec-
ord. =
-Nellie-T don't believe your broth
er loves me as much as he says he
does" Fanny-s'Oh. I'm sure he does!
Why, when you were away last sum-
mer he acknowledged to me that he
thought of you twice" Nellie-"Is
that aTl?" Fanny-''But you must re-
mem Der what terrible task it is for
him to think at al1.--Boston News.
The nevitabfe.-ssHave you fin
ished that address Of mine on Modern
Progress?'- asked the great man of his
private secretary. Eyes, sir; replied
the brainy hireling. 'sHave you put in
everything you could think of relating
to the subject?- Eyes, sir: I have
made it very exhaustive: don't think
further could be said" every
well; just say at the beginning that I
that, owing to the brief time al
Iotted to me, viii be unable to go as
fully into the subject as could wish
and let me have it---Puck.