St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-03-11
NDER is DISCOURAGED.
He Experiences More Trouble in
His Beer Saloon,

swell, how are you getting on now"'
asked the fat police sergeant as Carl
Dunder dropped in to see him the other
afternoon, says NJ. Quad in the Chicago
Tribune.
sergeant, vhas so discouraged ash
never vhas," replied Mr.. Dunder. DER
longer | Ifs in dis country der more l
find oudt dot nopody vbas two times
alike"
"How do you mean@'
.'Vhel, you ste, vhas in my saloon
der odder day und man comes in und
says vhas | Carl Dunder? l says vhas.
Dot vhas all right. He likes to make
sure, you know, because he brings me
one valuable package by express und l
hat to pay 81 sharges."
Il see."
"He goes AWAY pooty queek, und my
boy Shake opens dot package und
shumps aboudt und cries oudt dot |
vhas shwindled. SO | Vhas. 1t vhaS
only some brickbats in dot package.
You can imagine how madt vhas"
"Yes, Mr.. Dunder; but you didn't
protect Yourself. You didn't even ask
if the man was an employe of the ex-
press company. You mustn't take
everything for granted. You are alto
gether to innocent"
''Vhell, you see how she vhas again.
Yesterday a stranger nit package
under his arm comes in und says vhas
| Carl Dunder. | vhas. Dot vhas all
right. He like to make sure, you
know, because he brings me one walu-
able package by express"
Another swindler, eh." laughed the
sergeant.
"Dod's what I pellet he vhas, und l
takes him by der neck und slams him
over table und runs him Oudt doors.
Was dot right?"
"Pretty nearly right, Mr.. Dunder.
"Und vet you see how she vhas! Dot
man turns out to be in der Adams Ok
press company, und he vhas great
friend of Mr.. Adams. und dot package
vhas some sheese from my uncle in
Ohio! He comes back nit a black eye
iund larger, und | vhas SO scared dot |
lgif him feefteen dollar to settle oop dot
case. Doan' you see? Was anybody
two time alike in American
Mr.. Dunder got up and walked around
to keep his feelings under control, while
the fat sergeant winked at the alley
window and went off on train of re-
Election.
+ "Und | show you how she vas again."
said Mr.. Dunder after while, as he re-
sumed his seat. "a stranger comes i'll
my place und looks around und begins
to write in book. | ask him who he
yhas und he says he vhas der tax man
und he like to put down how much
property hat got. Vos dot all right,
sergeant"'
Eyes, that's the way they do"
''Vhell, he says he reads of me in der
papers und he like to make my taxes so
sheap ash he can. 1 gif him three
glasses of beer und box of cigars und
treat him like some kings, und he winks
at me und says, Keep num-. und goes
ayhay. In two hours | find oudt dot he
yhas a dead beat from Toledo. Vhas l
to blame dot doan't know t?''
but you see, Mr.. Dunder, you ought
to tell something about men by their
looks,'' replied the sergeant.
Had l? Let me tell you how she
yhas some more. Dat man vhas clean
und slick. und looks like der governor.
Next day a stranger comes in who vhas
seedy und looks like he vhas Oudt of a
shob for two years. He looks all aroundt
und takes out book und writes down
some figures. ask him who he vhas,
und he says he vhas der tax man. He
reads OF me in der papers, and he like
to make my taxes shust ash low ash
possible"
"Playing you again, eh?"
DOTS what believe, und dots what
nv boy Shake says, und l slump Oudt
on dot man und knock him Oafer fife
shairs und six tables und den drag him.