Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1892-01-17
THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.
How Griswold Discovered That He was
Humorist-A College Prank Which Re-
suited In Developing One of the Pupils
81 Louie Rspubhc

suited In Developing One of the Pupils.
S. Louis Republic.
Three men sat down to luncheon the
other day IN st. Louis and one OF them
told q good story. The men were +.
Chandler, general passenger agent OF
the Wabash railroad; ID. Wishart, gen.
eral passenger agent Of the Frisco, and
Major Oliver NJ. Wilson, an attorney
from Arkansas City, Kas., and President
Of the Southwestern Old Soldiers Asso-
citation. Chandler and Wilson were
members Of the same college society,
the Alpha Delta Phi, and they got 10
talking about college life. This is the
story told by Major Wilson,:
az. Minor Griswold, the Fat Contrib
ntor,' never Joined our society. He
meant TO come in, but got switched OIL
somehow and joined another society.
Did you know GrIswold? No? Well,
he was always good friend OF mine.
He gave. me the credit OF unearthing
the hidden vein OF humor in him which
made him famous. | didn't mean 10 do
it. II was an accident, but the story
will bear telling. 1t was at Hamilton
College, New York: / was in the junior
year and Griswold was freshman. One
day he came into my room and asked
me to drill him on recitation. There
was friend OF ours in the room named
Willard, and he suggested Marc An
tony's Grafton. NO. said l, III
give you 'Logan's Reply TO
the White Man." that's the recitation
made in my freshman year. | found
the piece in speaker and Griswold
com mitted 1t TO memory. Then drilled
him until he could repeat ii fairly well.
Poor old Gris-he didn't have much
money in those days. BE was the son
of widow. When his name was called
and he stepped out on the platform to
speak he made very laughable figure.
for his trousers didn't reach the top OF
his shoes; there was glazing gap be-
tween the waistband and the vest and
his coat was too tight for him. A snick-
er, lily concealed but quickly repressed,
ran through the audience OF college
boys. Then Griswold began in loud
voice:
LET me ask you then upon what
grounds you propose to treat"
ale emphasized the word treat and
my heart sank, for | knew what was
coming. ] had forgotten TO substitute
the word negotiate for treat IL was
a traditional joke in that college TO guy
the reciter OF Logan's reply, and the
only way to avoid the guying was TO
avoid the cause.
"Griswold had no sooner uttered the
word treat than the fun began.
"Ill take whisky"
"'Give me rumn
"Put sugar in mine"
ga little pale sherry, please" and so
on TO the end OF the list, 140 students
were ordering drinks at the top OF their
voices as Griswold, little dazed, began
again:
"Let me ask You, then, 'upon what
grounds you propose to treat?'
"And again the uproar. / expected
to see Griswold break down, but
twinkle came into his eye as he repeat
ed the line third time and a third up
roar was raised.
"'Mr. Grlswold,' said the Professor,
go on from where you are without re-
peatin0 that line again
"But this didn't meet Griswold's APP
proval. He was having more fun than
anybody. He entered into the humor
OF the thing, and he gave those students
an opportunity to call for drinks as
long as their lungs would hold out.
Four, five, six, seven times he repeated
that line, with solemn face, and
stolid stare which would have cracked
a grind stone. At last the students let
up on him and he finished his recitation.
"This was long before the war. Girls
void never finished his college course,
for be got into trouble and had 10 leave.
One day, after the war, in Indianapolis,
some one hailed me on the streets as
'Wilse,' my college nickname. ! didn't
know him until he said, MY name is
Grlswold-Pm the "Fat Contributor.
| didn't even then connect the success
full lecturer and humorist with my old
college friend until be asked me, Don't
you remember drilling me on "LORan's
Reply TO the White Man" at Hamilton
College?' / remembered him then, and
was much surprised when he said:
"'Wilse, that guying made me sue
cess In the world; IL was the first intl-
nation had that I loved humor. As
soon as the boys began 70 order their
drinks began 10 enjoy the fun OF the
situation, and, Wise old boy, I've
worked that vein OF humor in me for all
it's worth ever since. DO you know
why call myself THE Fat Contribu-
tor?" Why, because the proverb says:
Laugh and grow fat" make people