Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-01-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


The golden mien-Putting on airs.
A blunder buss-Kissing the wrong
girl.-Pittsbury Dispatch.
A shrinking little thing-Your last,
dollar when it's changed.
When man makes dye museum of
his head he looks like freak.
Visitors would sometimes like to
make precocious child smart. .-Bu6alo
Truth.
The man with an elastic step probably
wears Congress gaiters. - Binghamtop Re-
publican.
The small child is likely to look gift
horse in the mouth, and to put it there,
too.-Pucf.
The initial is the refuge which saves
child from the names which parent
can inflict.--Judge.
There is always plenty of room at the
top, because We all want to get in on the
ground 1oor.-Puck
The man carried away with cnthu-
sasm is frequently brought back with
disgust. -Teras tSiftings.
"Ah this is the lap of luxury"
purred the old cat, as she stole the rich
cream from pan of milk.
The reason why the ocean is so often
called treacherous must be because it is
full of craft Boston Post
A few statistics never fail to soon
satisfy an audience if they are thor
oughly dry Gatoeston NeDs.
"You're a dead loss to yourself" is
the latest sarcastic way of telling mai
he is no good. PHILADELPHIA Record.
SIS Fletcher sure his wife's poodle is
dead?' she must be. 1 see he's offer
ing $50 reward for it, Brooklyn Life.
Love at first sight does not wear spec
tacles. That may be why it seldom oc
ours in Boston. Binghamton Republican.
A mother may know it, but she'll
never admit that any other womans child
is as smart as her own.-NeD York Jour.
nal.
''Do you know it takes fifty leaves of
gold to make the thickness of ordinary
paper? "Oh, that's too thin "--Jepel-
ers' Circular.
There's no disgrace in being poor.
The thing is to keep quiet and not let
your neighbors know anything about it.
Teas Sytings.
You will usually find it the case that
the man who has the most irons in the
fire has wife who has to furnish the
klndling. g.--Atchison Globe.
Lady (engaging servanD D-"You seem
to possess every necessary qualification.
Have you got sweetheart Servant
sNo, mum; but can soon get one."-
The Comic.
'I'vc gotta good idea for this season."
said baseball manager. ''What is it9"
"Ive got deaf umpire. He can see
everything, but he can't hear any kick
ing. ."-Ne~ York Ne,os.
$50 you are ON star tour, said the
Circus Lion to the Dancing Bear; ''pray,
tell me, is that fellow there with the
chain your messenger" "Yes, replied
the Bear, 'and also my leading man,
Baltimore american.
81 hear that water sold at twenty-five
cents glass in the newly-opened lands
of Oklahoma. Is it so?" ''Quitc likely"
replied the returned boomer. al don't
know, though. / didn't have time to
wash while was there. ."-Bu6alo Er-
press.
ga fast horse, is he2" "Trots like
streak of creased lightning" swell,
that's fast enough. What do you call
him9" "What Ma Says" ''What Ma
Saysl That's strange name. Why do
you call him thatg" ''Because what ma
says goes.
r-"Notwithstanding the fact
that there are new diseases coming up
every day, the old ones seem to hold their
own all the same" Tartar--"Yes?
Well, that may be, but there's oae of the
old sort that doesn't seem to affect my
of-town customers at all. Doctor
.sWhat is that?" Tartar--"Thc remit
ting fever. .n--Boston Journal.