River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-03-10
PITH AND POINT.


Wild oats are said to be the only
crop that grows by gaslight-once a
Week.
"A great many men who begin the
day by rising dutifully with the lark
end it by going off on one.-Atchison
Globe.
Both men and women have their
failings With men it is the big head;
with women the big hat.-Boston Tran
script
Teacher of Physiology-'what in
gredient which is highly essential in the
composition of the human body does
sugar possess?" Pupils Ciu one voice)-
'Sand."
Bachelor Ito ewly-married friend)
Had any dinner-table fights yet?"
n. VI. F-"No; our friends haven't quit
coming to dine every night with s.
Epoch.
Jack Rounder-'Isn't Miss Belle a
beauty?" Miss Ayes. but you
know beauty is only skin deep" J.
Rounder-"Well, I'm no cannibal.
That's deep enough for me-
What happens. Johnny, if you
spare the rode" asked the father, who
was about to administer correction.
''You fish with hand-line. " replied the
young man. Washington Star.
-Bjones-'ls Bjohnson doing well
in business?" Bjenks-"Well, that de-
ponds on the way you look ut it All |
know is that il had as much money as
Bjohnson owes should be a rich man. "
-SOmerville Journal.
Watts don't approve of this idea
of burying every eminent citizen with
a brass band" Potts-''It would not
be so bad, though. if they'd bury brass
band with each eminent citizen. In
dianapolis Journal.
Briggs you notice Grape on
Smiths front door this morning?''
Griggs-'Yes, and / thought it so
strange. They haven't any children.
have they?" Briggs-"Oh, no. But
they had dog. Cloak Review.
An Innovation. - Hunker-"What
do you suppose Miss Flipp said when
asked her to marry me?" Spatts-"I
suppose she said: oh, George. this is
so sudden" Hunlxer-"No. she said.
I've been expecting you to propose for
three months. Epoch
"A fast young lady recently put the
following poser" to a male companion
at much-frequented watering place:
"Whv is your mustache like my back
hair?" lie blushingly gave it up; but
the answer caused HIM to blush still
more.-"Because it's all downr'-Once
a Week.
-Sweet-Tempered Wife-"Don't you
know, Jim, it looks very bad for you
to come home so late every night?"
Jim-'LoolSs bad? Howe" 5. T. w
1.-THE neighbors will think you are dis
sipated." Jim-''Why. that's the very
ason come home so late. So they
won't see me. boston Post.
Lilies Fond Periods three
fond periods of life are-the first con-
sciousness of love returned; the sum-
mer last before marriage, when all
the course is smooth; and, next, the
early months of the first baby, when a
man feels little queer, and the wom-
an is perfectly self-possessed again
Once a Week.
-Scene-A Police Court Counsel
lOHAAtC lfEAttt>t- Va ttACAAA has a NAtaAtA
on the indulgence of the court, for he
only took ten francs, without touching
the pocket book, which contained five
hundred francs" tliere the prisoner
burst into tearsl. Magistrate (affected)
Then you are sorry?" Prisoner
''Yes. for not seeing the pocket-book."
La Vie Parisienne.
Hint to Collectors.-"If | pay this
bill" said Fweddy, languidly, you
Will quit coming, / SUPPOSE" Course
will, rep ed the tailor's errand boy.
"And if don't pay it you'll keep on
coming. / presumed" You kin jest
bet will" "Then I'll pay it." said
T..eddy. hastily counting out the mon
ey and reaching for his smelling bot
tie You always smoke a beastly
fiye-cent cigah.'