The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1892-10-21

t"c wreck OF the bali dozen he had
bought, went to pieces oil at once, like
the deacon's ooe hoss shay" patience
bad ceased to be virtue, and Mr.. Bran
don paid Miss Thickly two weeks sal
cry in advance and that young lady
IS now seeking employment elsewhere.
Miss Mary Bonely, the next occupant
Of the stenographic chair In tho Office
Of Mr.. Brandon 'xas very unlike her
predecessor in oshce. She was q very
angular young person, and had tho ap.
aearance Of being all corners. Her el-
,ows were SO sharp shat when she acci-
icn:aliy touched John in the ribs with
,ue of chem ID passing him. he thought
somebody had stuck pin into his anat- 2
my. Her elbows were her Dane, she
eemed to have no control over them
whatever. Tim, the Office boy, had
hem pushed into his eyes every time
lc went near her to get the letters
o copy. The consequence was
;ha. that young gentleman Invariably
had one of his optics 6raped in purple
md fine linen. Mary had little lamb
ike habit of meditating quite frequently
luring business hours, and when she
neditated she generally leaned her ell
BOWS on her desk. Result two holes
N it and an honorable discharge. Mr..
Brandon was certainly very unfortunate.
He had had to let two good operators,
60, out OF respect to his furniture.
Miss Tabitha Tinkham made applica.
ton in writing, for the vacant position
of stenographer in John Brandon's estab-
lishment. SIZE stated that she had an
experience of many years and was sure
she could give satisfaction. II engaged
by Mr.. Brandon che requested permission
being so much of an object
US a comfortable position. The chair
clause of the letter captured John, aud
he wrote to Miss Tinkham that he should
be pleased if she would report for duty
as soon as possible.
When Mr.. Brandon arrived at his
Office the following morning Miss Tab
Iftia Tlnkham was there. She was seated
in rocking chair that an expressman
had just brought in, and by her side, on
the floor, was black cat that looked as
though some one had attempted to elec-
trooute it, and the manner in which It
elevated its spine when any one ap-
preached would have caused domedary
to die of envy could he have witnessed
this acrobatic performance.
Miss Tabiths Tinkham was a maiden
lady of uncertain age and she wore .
polka dot dress, black mittens and an
angelic smile. Her hair was of a warm
auburn hue, slightly sprinkled with
gray, so that the little pug at the back
of her head resembled dwarfed sugared
doughnut. In front she wore little
ringlet at either side resembling short
fat gimblets. This lady was also the
possessor of squaky voice aud was just
"leetle bit deaf" Now, Mr.. Bran.
don had had go many trials and tribula-
tions in all Of his transactions with type.
writers that he undoubtedly would have
retained Miss Tinkham IN his service for
the remainder of her natural life, if it
had not been for three things, her deaf.
ness, her rocking chair aud her cat. The
trouble was, that on account of the slight
impedimept in her auricular organs he
had to get pretty close to her in order
to make her understand what he wished
10 have her write, and the consequence
vas that the rocker mashed his toes all
out of shape, and when his torture
caused him to groan, the cat elevated
her or his back to such an enormous
height that it fairly made Johns hair
stand on end. When he Informed Miss
Tinkham that, though he respected her
very much as lady and scholar, and
was very sorry to part with her, her cat
and rocking chair made it necessary for
him to do so, she became so very hard
Of hearing that he had to invest in an
ear trumpet before he could prevail on
this estimable maiden lady to depart
with her furniture and pet feline 10
peace.
What poor, weak creature man is,
the conclusion of this narrative will
abundantly prove. Mr.. Brandon de.
cared that che was disguised with
women in general, but with lady type.
writists in particular" and though he
had suffered many disappointments, like
Bruce, of Scotland, he thought he
would "try, try, try again"
Miss Maud Milton, Miss Tinkham's
successor, was such contrast to that
ancient dame in every respect that John
-eoh Souio hoo hSip SuIluS ak A6Es
He tirst thought she was very pretty and
ended up by considering her positively
handsome. He would lay awake nights
wondering whether the color of her
| eyes were deep blue or of violet
shade, and her voice he thought was the
, most musical he had ever heard.
John Brandon's correspondence at this
time must have assumed enormous pro.
portions for lie was debating letters to
his new stenographer from morning till
night, and when Miss Milton asked him
"if she should take them home to make
typewriter copies of them," big John
Brandon blushed like an overgro wn
schoolgirl. Yes, John Brandon was in
love, over head and ears in love, and the
great foolish fellow who at last had got.
ten stenographer to suit him, asked
her to resign her position in his office, to
become Aisswife. @sSSsty
MISS AAdd Milton Is Htw Mrs. John
Brandob,and the na&e5f Mr.. Bran
don's latest stenographer il John J.
Smith The Kings Jester.