The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-07-06
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Hlc. went 70 nun, ana ne received
me cordially, and said he was proud
Of me, for / was a promising young
man. Then he offered toast, Guilty
or not guilty ? ! responded in a brief
but eloquent speech, setting forth the
Importance Of the occasion that had
brought us together. After the usual
ceremonies was requested to lend the
city forty shillings.-Ex.
"Here, my good fellow" said an En-
glish lord at a Philadelphia hotel table,
as he slyly laid dollar under his nap
kin. "What is that for?" asked the
waiter without moving. "Fol? Why
that is for you Take it." "For me!
And why for me?!" Surely you must
understand" whisper ed the lord in as
tonishment; shat is your TIP. | never
give less than a dollar" "You are
mistaken, sir" said the waiter, draw
ing himself up haughti y. Il am paid
by the landlord for my services. / ac-
cept no tips / am an American" "
N. B-This was told us by a hotel
man, who said he hoped to die if it was
not true. We are expecting every mo-
ment to hear of his death. The Chris
tan Register.
Seeker-I observe that Prof Stacy
has been lecturing on "IIOw to Become
a Christian athlete" wonder what
that means? Sageman That's an
easy one. A Christian athlete is one
who is continually jumping from one re-
ligious faith to another. Boston COu-
rier.
The wind, as a rule, is very i'll tenn
pered to the shorn lamb.-Puck.
Miss Emilia-My sister fell and
broke her limb. Old Mr.. Jones -
which limb? Miss Emilia (blushingly)
ifI must tell you, it was her
left walker.-Harper's Bazaar.
Sympathy: Mrs. DusOe-0h, dear!
Oh, dear! This paper has published a
horrid scandal about me. Miss Nina
Ann Pussley-Dreadfull How did they
get hold of it?-Puck.
An 0bedient Boy: Visltor-I new
er saw such an obedient boy as your
little son i. No matter what task you
set for him, he goes at it as if it was
play. How he loves to please you
Host-Therell be circus in town
next week. Street & Smiths Good
News.
People Of Unexceptionable Taste -
The acquaintance who regrets thaG he
has not your exquisite artistic taste
The photographer who says you are
really one Of the best subjects he ever
had.
The tailor who says that it Is apleas-
nre to make a suit for a man with a
figure like yours.
The individual who laughs yocifer-
Dus y at your puns.
The man whOprOnounces your dinner
absolutely faultless
The lady whom you overheard whis-
per to a friend that you are the most
clever man she knows.
The visitor who remarks that your
boy is the handsomest little fellow he
ever saw, and that he bears a most
resemblance to you.-Puck
Sympathetic Lady Guest-DOn't be
unhappy about the rain, dear Mrs.
it will soon be over, and
your garden Will be lOyelier than ever.
Mrs. Goldmore Bounderson (who is
giving her first garden party)-Yes,
but I'm afraid it will keep my most de-
sirable guests from coming.-Punch.
The phrenologist ran his hands rap
dly over the boys head, reflected a mo-
N, mt, and tried it over again, but more
slowly. "Well, professor" said the
Doy's father, "what calling do you find
him best fitted for? Judging from
his cranial development" replied the
,hrenologist, breaking it as gently as
ne could, Il think he would make
| good parachutejumper. Chicago
Tribune.
keys Lesson: "Ikey," exclaimed
Abram Einstein, as he glanced over his
'cn's copybook, who wrote dat copy,
noding sugseeds like sugsess'?' "Mein
eacher," replied key. "DOt vos all
wrong, key. Noding sugseeds like
and blendy Of dem. Don't
'ou forget to remember dot'-BrOok
yn Life.
IF you want your boy to love you,
lon't make him hoe potatoes in the
,ack yard while brass brand is pass
ng the house.-Ram's Horn.
I know nothing in the world tender
II than the pity that kInd-hearted
Toung girl has for young man who
eels lonely. IL is true that these dear
creatures are all compassion for every
orm Of human woe, and anxious to al
eviate all human misfortunes. They
viii 20 to Sunday School through
storms their brothers are afraid Of, to
each the most unpleasant and intract-
lble classes of little children the age Of
Methuselah and the dimensions Of Og
he king Of Bashan's bedstead. They
viii stand behind table at fair all
lay until they are ready to drop, dress
ID in their prettiest clothes and their
sweetest smiles, and lay hands upon
you. Ike so many Lady Potiphars,-l
perfectly correct ones, Of course,-to