The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-03-25
CaIedOny Letherhead Advertlses for
q Husband.


he strapped some kind of compan-
ion too his side and enformed her
with a grandilOquent air (mercy,
what a wold, but Buddy larnt it too
me- that he was "A night of the
grippe" "a travelling salesman" for
Hush & Co. Now Mister Editor we
all kno that he cOuld'ent bee three
different things all at one time.
Therefore L have but very little re-
=pect for Buddy's opinion. But as |
wus saying; l aXed him what he
thought of this advertisement bust
ness? and enformed him as "A sister
should Of my ententiOns; But he ups
and gifts MAD and lOwd that he bee
gosh darned! il L done anything of
the kind,U that if l wanted hus band
[ wCLld have too doc as his wife done,
"Wait till the right man come along. ~
Yes, | amigine Lie Cogglns waited f.;
for betwIXC me you and the gate post
she come i'll Town tradin once or
twice every week, as long as he
stayed at Mr.. Tradin Palaces, and
when she bought her wedding dress
she even aXed Buddy to go with her
to Mrs. Gartners, the fashionable
dress-maker. Now that looked like
waiting, did'ent it? But Buddy has
forgot all that. But L haven't by a
long lump, and will tell him so. He
tries to be monsLerOus particular all
at onceI But l reckon L Kno a thing
or too. And as for me waiting, I'll
show himl | have been waiting
now for nigh on too 81 years, and
am fully convinced that waiting don't
pay, and as tits leap year, entend
to paddle my own canOo." ! could
have ben married long ago if Int
had 'ent ben for Buddy and pesIey
widow, but betwiXt the too l lost him
entirely. But law, me! whenever l
gifts to thinking about ky Peabody,
/ gifts hart sick. ky did think sight
of me, and ! fairly worshiped the
ground ky walked ON. but arter
that tangled eyed widow sOt her
cap for him he seemed to git kinder
oflish and strange. Buddy lowd il
was becase | run arter him
so; but Buddy wont tell the truth.
lis tue | started to run arter him
one day AT circus, but Buddy grab
bed me and helt me until ky ana the
widow got inside of the tent. Bat L
will tell you how hit wus. | knowd
ky wanted to carry me for he had
already sed THAT owing too sircum-
stances, over which he had no con-
troll, he would have too derive him
self OF that pleasure" or course L
did not kuO what he ment at that
time, by circumstances; but jest as
soon as | sOt eyes on him and the
widow together | knowd she wus the
circumstance that he could'e COu-
troll, for she WIS holding on to his
hand like q Ieech, looking up in his
face at the same time, like a dying
calf" Poor ky! he looked at me,
but lest as soon as he caught my eye,
he looked down on the widow and
smiled. IsuppOse he done that in or
der to sho " me that he wus trying to
bare his misery for my sake. Wen
that's when ] started to give him the
pleasure of my company, and du you
blame me, Mr.. Editor? Buddy
thought he wus awful smart holding
of me, but 1 got even with him, 1oI
when we went into see the show, III
place of me setting along side OF Bud
DIV, / presumed the dignity oil a queen
! and marched over too Whar they were
! setting on refused seats, and sOt my
| self right in betwiXt them. Buddy
| looked daggers at me; and "a pas-le OF
! boys and girls giggled; but thar sol
! nudgeing ky in the side too let nm
! k,o how glad | wus that l had out
wited the widow. But some how
| or other ky did not look pleased.
reckon he wus mad beCase the wild
dow diu'ent have sense enuf to git vi
and move her sect; for thar she sill
sot As bold as brass and eyIng OF m'
| like [ wuS a sarpent, while them BOY
and gals liked to have dide laughing
| WHAT they seed to laf at | have neve
been able too find out, but will Jes
saw rite here that with all there snlg
gering and giggiing they looked llk'
a passle of idiots, and if they had biz
ANYTHING to me l would have tool
every blessed one of them home an'
thar they would have stald till the.
larned how to behav themselves Il
comnaDy. But to make q long stor,
short, l will jest tell you that Budd
had his dander up and lOwd that h
"hee-gosh-darned," CHATS Buddie
world if should leve the house fc
! six months; and he kept his wor
too. Me obeying in sUlatery con1n'
ment give the widow full play, an
. IN less than no time, L read III IL
HERALD whar ky Peabody al
= Belindy Notgrass-late relic of Hess
, kiah Notgrass had committed matr
I mony. Law, me! Nobody kno
= wDaJ an awful pain went rite throug
? my hart; still | never did blame TX.
t Tie sin is at nobody's door cepC Bu'
= dies ana that friskey widows, al
r some day they will have 1t to answ
/ fur, and L hope I'll live to see the d'
too.
Well Mister Editor Buddy has hS
the picture man to come plum up
. our house to take our pictures, al
d a. everything Wus so picturesque al
: Turned out so romantic, | want to te
d. ven about it before | close my adVe
u fisement, You knO l wanted too LOO
as graceful as possible, Lut in tryil
to strike and attitude, L accident
struck the edge of the porch al
would have broke my neck L reck'
It if hit had'ent been for the pictu
:, man, who caught me lin his arms
i was fuIling. Buddy thought do
q hit on purpose, aud when L tried
u expiaue matters, lowd that il Il
V eyes had bin where they o"ght
At have bin, L would'ent hav bin
II much like ian old blind horse"
b reckon Buddy thought | was lOoki
love looks at the man, and may be
?, was rite, for twiXt you and me l
p ways try and embrace every opp'
tunity." But the funny part of
1t business was when Buddie bIoug
ar out "Brutis Cesar" CHATS our dc
ii whats bin in the family nigh on TO
Y yearsD AID Buddie lowd that t
picture would'ent be hOmelike unlt
a. he wus in the background. w
ID Buddy put him in the backgroun
but bless your har5! he did'ent st
ii thar long, for the very mint
~ cameo Il believe that is what you c
e. hiD was uncovered and he seed
X man with the rag over his m
he Brutus Caesar give yelp, and o
c. the fence he went. The man TOOK
to- his heels, Brutus Caesar right al
him, aud Buddy bringing up the re
ol splitting his throat hollering for til
n 20 stop. But the man never did st
to and gin Buddy caught the dorg
man wus half way 10 Town, Z
at would'ent come back till that q
d, was tyed hard and fast.
sd Now mistsr Editor L am going
ot send YOU a picture when we gifts thu
aud / want you to do all you eau
til me, and show hit too every man
gh is matrimonially inclined.
ell ASH hear Buddy coming Will n
too stop, as he might catch on
. what / am doing and rase ga
Yours till death,
CALADONY LETHERHEAl
Paints! Paints!
eS' The largest and best line in