The morning news., 1892-03-14
BRIGHT BITS,

LYING Is reprehensible habit. generally
speaking; but FISH stories are quite appropriate
during Lent.-Boston Transcript.
LADY ito her legal friend)-You won't charge
for question. Ihopei
Lawyer-O, no--only for the answer.-Fgie-
oeTde bIdtter
PHRENoLoeIsr (delightedly)-MY friend. you
were born to command Are you soldlerf
Dignifed Stran2er-No, sor, Dim ianitor
NeW York Weekly.
20. ISAAC, baby has swallowed a peunvl"
cries mamma in great alarm.
Isaac-Calm yourself One would think he
had swallowed a gold pece.-Le Figaro.
OLD GENTLEMAN (opening parior door Just as
the young man stole kissl-Well, l am sur.
prisedl
Young man (coufused)-So am L-Harper's
Bdzar.
SHE-Even though you do not admire Brown
ing you must admit he makes one think, MIR.
Cha pleigh?
He-Ya,,a-ss; that's precisely why 1 object
70 him.-Lfe.
WHY, Emma, aren't you married YETI"
"Alas. no! IL isn't my fault. either A num-
Der OF young men have wanted to speak to
ma nina, but she didn't give them a chance.
FIiegende Btatter.
FIRST YoUNe WoMAN-Mabel is writing for a
magazine.
Second Young Woman Cjealous)-Well. IL she
lncloses the subscription price l have no doubt
she Will get .-WGshtR0ton Star.
How DO you like the city bustle?" she said
to the visitor from the country
.,, don Z Know he answered, rather abashed.
1t kinder struck me that they warn't wearin'
EN- any more. - Washington Star
ARE you the head barberY" asked spatts as
he took his seat in the chair
Yes, sir, replied the tist; "you don't see
chiropodisIs sign hanging up in the shop, do
you!'-SnlFth, Gray & co.'s Monthly.
DREssM1KER-How would you like your cos.
tune made, madam?
Mrs. Clownrich -S'pose you make it with one
| OF those vestibule trains that Eve heern talked
OF lately.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
"MY FATHERS an Odd Fellow ~ boasted littIe
boy.
MY fathers Freemasouy" replied the
other; an that's higher, for the hod fellows
wait on the masons. ''--Smfth, Gray d Gov
| Monthly.
NEIGHBoR-Well, Patrick, I'm glad your
master is dead. He was an old skin flint, any.
way.
Patrick Indignantly Faith, and OF bet if be
glad he wor dead.-Lge.
DocToR-The fact Is. you're overworked. You
must take rest for few weeks. What you
want is abs oIutely quiet
Merchant-Well, can't go away just now
Let me see. By hockey! I've got it. I'll stop
| advertising. Boston 1rGnscrtDt.
AMEhh-AN 0lkl-Anu IL marry you Will
live in an old English castle, with turrets and
| battlements, famed in song and story?
English Lord YES you snail
American Girl-And will you introduce me to
| the Prince of Wales set?
| English Lord-Um-er-not until begin to
| get tired OF you.-NeD YORK. Weekly
MIR. NEwcoME," inquired the city editor
| did you write this article in which the state
| ment is made that X. X. Perkinson sCicided
| yesterday afternoon?"
''Yes, SIR" answered the new man on the
| local staff.
III m" rejoined the city editor blaudly. ''Mr
| Newcome, you will please consider yourself
resgnationed. ."-ChicG0o Tribune.
MARIE-so you are engaged to Charlie
! Chester?
Claire (carelessly)-Yes.
Marie-Isnt he the fourth Charlie to whom
| you are engaged?
| Claire iStlessyl-I believe so.
Mare-Good gracious, Claire, how do you tell
| them aparts
Claire (sweetly)-I don't Detroit Free Press