The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-10-17
He ALWAYS GOT LEFT.
Wall OF the Man Who Was Too Late
All the Time.
Ffon, the Chicaoo Inter Ocsan.

1 oorh street depot as ne Razed out on the
tracks through the railing with a half-de-
spondent, half-doGged glare. ''Unkind fate
has pursued me. She has prosecuted me.
crucifled me with petty hindrances until |
/ am well nigh on the brink Of that dark
dank slough Of despair where a man tries
lead on his system, taken internally. If I
should kill myself, right here and now, gen
| tlemen, remember remember 1t as the last
| words of a pursued, bounded individual that
L was killed by the hand Of perverse fate
| with triflesn
Aud the unfortunate extracted a william
Gus looking jack knife from his pocket and
ran his finger along the edge of the blade
With suicidal sigh. The listeners around
started and squirmed uneasily In their seats
| Understand" he said, II do not saw [
am going to kill myself, but il l should, re-
member that il was fate and not who
struck the blow.
81 should never have come to Chicago. 1t
was mistake, and grievously have l an
| swered for it,"
Busted on change, I supposer' said
man In silk hat; that's the way they all
talk"
NO." said the bounded man, such
thing would never worry me. would revel
in bankruptcy"
disappointed in love, I'll bet" said the
dapper man in brown.
MERE TRIPLES.
"No-no-noi" yelled the bounded man; 81
| can stand love affairs by the bushel; can
find infinite delight in being Tilted It isn't
that. IL has been trIf1es, tell you. / can
endure the great troubles. II had to be
hanged believe could brave myself and
| die like man. Big troubles are nothing.
A man can prepare himself to meet the
great fluctuations of life and make himself
a hero for his courage. Il is the petty,
nasty, inconsequential, irritating, despica-
BILE. enervating, fretting. valuelesz, vacuous
trtrles that unnerVe, unman, and finally
crush him. A man can endure a great de-
feat, but the little distractions and disap-
polntments work the ruin.
Look atlme to-day, See the unhealthful
pallor OF my skin; notice how my hand
shakes; look at my colorisss lips. A shat
tered man. And all because Of tribes"
But we all have our little trials, " said the
man in the silk hat, land we are not shat
tered"
why" jsrked out the bounded man.
Because fate has not pursued you. Did
you ever rush up to an elevator and find out
that it has just started upp
Many a time"
| Probably. But with me it is always so.
| never went to the bottom OF the elevator
shaft that did not oatoh a glimpse of the
elevator scooting past the first floor never
| woo III hu upper hOuH kupb uIu DOL T6HCn
the door just in time TO see the top OF it dis
appearing down the shaft. Not once, nor
twice, but always"
ELEVATORS HELPED.
"But you surely have not allowed eleva-
tors to turn your life and cast an eternal
gloom over your happinessF'
| 'No; the elevators have only helped
| always reach the corner Just in time TO miss
the car. The other day friend told me
that certain restaurant in town had a De-
cuIiar kind Of sea-fish on the bill of fare.
1t was my favorite fish, and had nos been
able TO obtain any before in Chicago. |
bolted post haste to the caterers. Then the
awful thought struck me. There would be
none. They would be just out of that kind
of fish. knew it. It was nothing new for
me. l never took q saltcellar up Ia my life
that did not find the salt just out. Well
the waiter came up and said:
"'Order. sah.'
az was oil a.tremble. wanted the fish
so badly, and knew that it would be all
gone. 1T will do no good for me to order
what want said, petulently. you won't
have 1t.
"'Weil, will the ge'ml'mn tell me fustg'
asked the waiter.
30. you won't have 1t. Know my luck.
| You won't have it,
But what is itF
g 4 will tell you but you won't have it.
| Don't think you will disappoint me by say
ing 90. | am used 70 being disappointed. I
| want some raravis fish.
Eyes. sir
az on don't mean to say that you really
have itP
"'Shure, sah.'
i" For oncel
| 1T WAS BLIssFUL.
My heart leapt for joy. For once was
M tor lafa falr
rough looking customer next me at the
table, who ordered a common lake perch,
| the waiter left. In few minutes he came
back with the two orders. He served the
rough customer first, and before received
my fish he had made large inroads into his.
The minute / was served l knew the man
was eating my fish and l had been given the
lake perch.
"Iook here l said Indignantly, you
have made a mistake; this gentleman is
eating my fish and have his
Laws mussy = said the negro, I guess
dat 10 So
"'Well, you go back In jiffy and make
another order OF raravis.'
st Is a sort of dream to me now. Ire
member that the waiter came back with a
sardonic grin and said:
Sorry, sah.'
| "Wha-a-a-tp
"We're just out-that was the last omar
II remembered that knocked the waiter
down with the tomato oatsup bottle and hit
the rough customer over the head with the
castor. Then all is q blank.
1T is the same with everything. The
other evening saw a brilliantly lighted
! window and crossed the street to look at il.
When l was within foot Of 1t the light
went out with a snap and left il in total
darkness. l have CHASED around every
corner in Chicago but always got 10 after
the fight is over, the policemen have col
Jared the fighters and the crowd is dis
persed.
"PooR FKLLoWm
81 never saw big fire in all my time of
residence In this city. l have chased three
miles after fire engine aud have seen only
some little jimorow barn burn down, then
have lain in bed when heard the alarm
because didn't think ii amounted TO much.
and read in the papers next morning that q
whole block had gone up.
~ am the man who Is always getting
left. l always find that the man who
want TO see has just stepped out went
down 70 visit the worlds fair the other day
and when l reached there | discovered /
had only "A cents. 1t takes IS 20 get 10
and came back. am always too late, or
too short, and always just by a second or
an inoh."
The bounded individual sighed heavily.
II resolved thai needed q vacation and