Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1892-09-22
His Trousers Were Short.

X rs second -CldSS matter.
His Trousers Were Short.
Mr.. Thomas Mclaughlin went last
Saturday night to the clothing store of
Harris Frankel, and purchased pair
of trousers of a beautiful and variegated
design. He had no time to try them
.on but Frankel assured him that they
would set on him like tie peeling on
an apple. so he took them home, nav
ing previously paid $40 for them, a
reduction of 5000 from the price first
demanded.
When Mr.. Mclaughlin reached his
home and tried on the trousers he was
disgusted at finding that there was
broad eXpanse of white sock between
the top of, each shoe and the place
where the trousers ended. When he
tried letting them down until they
reached the proper place he created 4
void between his waistcoat and the
waistband of the trousers.
Mr.. Mclaughlin pulled the trousers
up again and hurried back to Frankel's
store attended by constantly increas-
ing crowd Of small boys who,
addressing him Familiarity as "Uucle
Josh" and ''Hayseed,' expressed a
burning desire to be informed just when
he intended threshing his turnips, &c,
50 ne was in an excited frame of mind
whcn he reached The clothing store.
Rushing into the place he howled:
where's the man that sold me them
pants 2"
Mr.. Frarkel rose up rom behind the
counter, saying blandly: ''Not can do
for YOU. mein friendt ~
:'Gim me pair of pants for these. |
didn't ask for knee breeches, shouted
the angry customer you told me
them pants would fit. Why, I'd have
to wcar rubber boots with them to keep
my legs warm"
''Not you wants, sir," replied the
srorei.ee;'cy, is nice pain Of garders,
den vou viii a dood be. can sell q
pal" gacde,s t. you-
"What voa waut' replied Mr.. Nc
Laughln, .Jlliug up his sleeves, sis a
ten-loo, )14rl fence around you if you
donr give ne another good pair of
pants iow these Here's your pants,
and ne began 10 take those necessary
garments OIL.
''Holl on, dere, Dis ain'd no bading
pavilion" ;" said Franiel.
Then he brought club from behind
the couute;, ana the next thing Nc
Laughliu knew he was sitting in the
gutter. Policeman George +. Smith, of
the West Twentieth street station,
came along, and Mclaughlin told him
of his woes. Together they went into
Frankel's store Frankel reached for
his club. ''Ged oud, he observed en-
phatically.
"Give me my money back" said Nc
Laugblin.
''Ged oud repeated the storekeeper,
starting for the speaker. Smith step
ped forward and the next moment po
liccman and storekeeper We're all mixed
up on the floor. with Mclaughlin an
interested spectator At this juncture
"a door in the rear opened ana Mrs.
Frankel appeared. Mrs. Franllel was
not built for ornament. She is about
six feet tall and wcllAp in the heavy
weight class. simultaneously she
grasped the situation and two handsiul
of McLaughlin's hair.
"Whopln she yelled, scattering the
hair broadcast over the floor
II shpoils your face" which she did
most eflectually by making four deep
burrows with her nails in McLaughlin's
checks, and following that up with a
right-hander on the jaw.
II makes you sick" she continued
and proved the truth Of her assertion
by kicking him in the stomach. go
away; get oud shl;ip!a she screamed
at the unfortunate man, who was
doubled up as with cholera, and immcd:-
ately put it out of his power to do any
thing of the sort by knocking him
down and sitting on his head.
In the meantime Policeman Smith
had got the best of Franlel, and he
pulled Mrs. Z. OFF Mclaughlin. Fran
kel was taken 10 the station. and the
next day, at Jefferson Market Court,
where Mclaughlin took the bandages
of his face long enough to make a COM
plant against him, was held in $500
bail for assault. He was bailed out.
Policeman Smiths coat had been somewhat
Ised up in the atlray. and he got 4 new one.
He was walking past Frankel's store on Mon
day night when Fr,lnkel ram sout and knocked
him into tie gutter. There was n lively fight
in which Mrs Frankcl, who had followed her
husband, took part The two men rolled over
and over, and when the woman saw any por-
ton of body which didn't look like her hus-
bands uppermost she thumpcd it with club
which she held.
Finally Fankel was subiugated and taken
to the New York Hospital TO be mended. The
officers new coat, however, is past all mend
ing. He got 4 bad cut ON his hand and his
body Is ornamented with black and blue spots
where Mrs. Franllers club hit him That
lady escaped when she saw that the fight was
going against her husband
Yesterday morning Frankel was held to
answer charge of assault in 4 second bond
OF $500. His store was open yesterday after
noon but Mrs Frankel sat behind the count
er. Mr.. Mclaughlin has not been around
since he went to see about changing those
trouserS.-N. !. san.
For Over Fifty Years.