The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-11

! If you are plump they say fat is so
vulgar" There ought 20 be women made
: specially to please dressmskers, and then
/ they might be happier, but, as it is.
although most of them make money, they
( seem to regard the average woman az un-
I desirable, as q human pincushion, aud as
! something that Is to be snubbed.
A TEAR-RAIEING ROBE ARRANGKR
( l once went to IA tender-hearted dress
maker who wept oyer my shoulder so syste-
matically that l had the rheumatism in It,
/ II was about a brother who had been killed
! by accident; the first time / was very sym
/ pathetic, for of course | thought the acci-
/ dent had taken place within the last year,
! but 1t turned out that he had been dead for
seven years, aud that the accident would
never have happened il he had been sober.
/ She used to talk this way: "Shall At ths
/ skirt smooth, Ins'aIn. He was me only
/ b other-a bright young boy, that might,
but for his trouble-would you rather have
hook, ma'amf-have got on In the worli
and been a credit-rl face the sides with
sllk-to his own people. He was a besuti-
| ful corpse, and we gave him-of course,
! you can button il down the front-n wake
that was the talk of the neighborhood for
months afterwards. and it took three
| the ribbon might do-dispensary doctors
to straighten the men up, so they could
show their respect to the remains" After
I this she would break down and weep on me,
and excuse the fact that my bare shoulder
was In the rain, because she didn't want TO
stain the stuff. really think that woman
enjoyed herself think she knew the abso-
| lutte bills of sorrow; she oomprehended
thoroughly how sublime thing it was to
| suffer herself and to make her customers
suffer with her. gave her up; not because
| she wasn't good dressmaker, but because
from constant weeping and sympathy with
her my nose was getting 30 red that was
afraid some temper ance society would come
down on me, acting, of course, under
misrepresentation.
THOSE JoY-FoREvER GOWNS.
Speaking of dressmakers, don't wonder
men fall in love with widows. l saw one
the other day trying on her gown in its
completed state-sne was joy forever-it
was the very latest thing in
widows get up; 1t was Grape, and
Grape, and Grape And it made her
skin look lily white. Instead of having
her heavy Grape veil drawn over her face,
| it was hanging down in the back, and
small net one bound with Grape was over
her face. 1t is curious how becoming Grape
is. AMI women so naturally give in to their
belongings that woman in Grape gets
lovely, subdued expression on her face that
is wonderfully fetohy. II had been a
man that day l should have
PROPOSED TO THE WIDOW
before she left the place The dressmaker
told her, you must have a dinner dress
made entirely of GRAPE" And the suffering
one said, 20, couldn't think Of dinnersn
And the dressmaker laughed and added,
20, yes you will, when you see that dress,
for you will be like every body else, you
will look a dream in black GRAPE l
heaved great sigh; for there was no
chance Of my looking like dream. How
ever, consUled myself with thinking that
| could have two pockets In my cloth frock
and put my hands in them IN an lndepend-
ent fashion.
Pockets and independence are a natural
combination, and the giving OF two pockets
to womankind, and these two pockets jusC
in front, and where she can reach them,
have made her feel as if this were indeed
free country. With the coming of the
pockets it has been discovered that woman
is an accumulative animal. In my pockets
at the present sitting there is a handEer-
chief, watch, a letter, two clippings from
the newspapers, three bits of candy winter
green, four cloves and picture
of a baby. In the other one are
four Decent pieces am keeping to put In
the bank. a lot of pennies. a bunch OF keys,
a glove buttoner, a torn veil, paper tn at
has on it three addresses and not the names
poem and recipe for making chicken
curry. Can any sohoolboy beat that3 l
don't believe mankind likes these pockets.
He feels that he is being shorn of part of
his glory. But then he has so many
glories
HOW REALLY CLEVER MAN IS.
He is a strong creature.
He can wear a stiff linen shirt and button
the buttons with his fingers without break
ing it, where a woman has 10 call a glove
buttoner into service.
He can tie a four-in-haud scarf SO that IL
shows that 1t has been tied, is not ready
made, and yet it is perfectly even.
He can get the links in his cuffs without
licking the packs of the buttonholes.
He can keep his cuffs clean for day with
out holding his hands as il he were afraid
something were going to touch them.
He can find more fault and upset a house,
hold, and make more women cry than any
| other animal.
He is gifted with a greater knowledge
about everything than any encyclopedia,
and is more willing to disseminate it than
| book agent
He believes in himself implicitly, and
| that's the reason he gets The better Of every
| thing feminine.
He is a man, and he thinks that's an ex-
cuse for every folly he commits And really,
between you and me, / don't know but what
1t is | haven't real spirit. | am what the
suffering people call a "down-trodden
| worm"-but then was built that way, aud
you can't change your spots, can you? From
| the very beginning was spotted as a wo-
man-but then everybody knows that
| that is. everybody who knows my name Is