Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-12-27
THE "GAWK."

people would call a merry childhood or
Joyous youth. My father-a low church
lergyman-honestly believed that to be
cheerful was the first step to sin, and that
virtue was to wear solemn mien ana an
unsmiling face To do him justice, he
conscientiously lived up to that conviction
and, as far as was in his power, compelled
others to do the same.
He had not exposed me to the contami-
nation of a public school; my few compan-
ions had only been classmates at private
tutors, to whom l was sent as daily
pupil, and as had to walk several miles
TO reach my destination | was unable to
enjoy the ordinary relaxation Of the Eng
lish schoolboy in the shape of football or
cricket.
An only son, motherless from my cradle,
had accepted with the submission and
possibly with the contentment OF igno-
rance the code of morals and mode of life
which it had pleased my father to impose
upon me, and which would have seemed
better suited to the most shrinking and
delicate girl than to a strong, healthy,
stoutly grown and active lad. Perhaps
the real secret Of my passive and unresist-
ing acquiescence lay in the fact that was
constitutionally averse to society of any
kind, and that especially the presence of
any member Of the other sex filled me with
an unreasoning awe that amounted to &C
tual pain. A feminine being-child, girl
OF woman-immediately made me fifty
times more awkward than | naturally was;
she elected an unbecoming shyness which
at other times was quite foreign to my ma
ture, and which impressed the cause Of
these emotions with a contemptuous dis
like Of me.
Harry Millner is perfect gawkp'
once heard the pretty daughter Of one Of
our nearest neighbors say to an elder sis
ter, when, my school days being finally
over had been sent by my father to walk
with her in the vicarage garden, and had
ANONYMOUSLY ended the interview by run
ming away and hiding myself in an arbor,
whence could hear her comments on my
conduct.
Harry Millner is poor, miserable
creature" calmly remarked this dispas-
sionate maiden. But you know, Helen,
that he is as poor as a rat, so he will never
have TO make love to any girl, thank
GodI" she added piously.
Yes, was gawk at twenty, as / had
been at any other period of my life. Yes,
was a miserable creature, in spite of my
5 feet 10 inches and my broad shoulders.
Yes, we were wretchedly poor, and at my
fathers death all could claim as my own
would be moderately good education,
the perfect health / always enjoyed, and
an absolute ignorance Of the ways of the
world, for good or evil, and the means Of
earning my daily bread therein. IL had
been part Of the wears conscientious car
rying out Of his particular views TO keep
me persistently at his side, in his widowed,
solitary home, and not to send me to meet
temptation or, as he styled it, perdition,
by allowing me to mix with the unregen-
crate and the ungodly, whose path lies
among the pitfalls of frivolity and unhal-
lowed diversions.
Not very long after my pretty neighbor
Helen had passed her uncomplimentary
verdict upon me my father died. A dis
tant relation wound up his affairs; a hun
dred pounds were placed in my hands, and
was told to go TO London and "see what
/ could do there" 1t is needless to dwell
on the time thus spent; suffice 1t to say
that worked hard and inefficiently, and
that remained as strictly ungregarious,
solitary, moral and virtuous as | had ever
been at the vicarage Women still looked
upon me with intense disfavor, and upon
them with continued awe-at least in the
fiesh-for must confess that at times, in
pheasant to hear soft voice call me
Harry" and white hand linger in my
palm. But when / awoke in the morning
il was to a returning consciousness that
was a gawk and that If by some wild
accident the feminine hand was resting in
my grasp or the feminine voice sounding
in my ears I should not know how to an
swer the one or clasp the other
Then suddenly, unexpectedly, | found
myself rich-not moderately or comforta
bly, rich, but wealthy beyond my most fat
uous conception Of the term. An unsus
pected inheritance had fallen to my lot
there were no difficulties raised against
nv title: everything was plain, simple and
correct, 50 that within three months Of the
day when / received the first intimation Of
NV good fortune | was informed by the
lawyers that / could now draw on my
bankers for what was practically 10 me an
unlimited amount, and take possession OF
big house in Mayfair and an equally i'm
posing mansion in Worcestershire, with 9
suitable establishment ready to receive me
In each as master. / visited both resi-
dences, found them almost as awe inspir
ing as a woman, and myself as big gawl
IN these superbly appointed houses as
had been in the country or in the city office
England, to travel for awhile and endeavo
to shake off in rev surroundings the awk
wardness which believe was only in rus
ITCHY, and the misanthropy that sat 81
aueerly on young mans temperament.
wanted the regenerating process to taxi
place away from the gaze of my country
men and, moreover, was secretly anxiou
" put the sea between me and the over
towering attentions and invitations show
cred upon me through the medium o
countless notes sent by people whose name
j had never known or utterly forgotten
and who one and all assured me that the.
remembered my dear father with intens
affection and would consider it a persona
favor TO see me- his son, at their table, thei
clubs, their country houses, and make hin
feel a. one Of their family"
! started for European tour, but wen
no farther than Paris I had intended I
l.ax q l.~.. "A h.. m