davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
sTREET-cAR KlCKERs.
Some Types Peculiar to the City of NIL.
Waukee.

Some Types Peculiar to the City of NIL.
waukee.
Did you ever notice n carload of
women Jagged about fifty who sat cross
legged with one foot suspended in the
air near the shins of passengers, with
parasols stuck across the aisle and bum
dies and baskets scattered about? Did
you ever see the conductor try To get
through such talking and gray-headed
group to collect fares? The next time
you get a chance TO observe such a
group do SO. and hear their remarks as
the conductor endeavors not to step on
their toes, as he falls over their tangled
legs, and as his shoe comes in contact
with the polished handle of some one of
their parasols.
Both male and female of the variety
known as the wrong-car kickers are
vigorous. They will stand on a corner
dreaming until they are suddenly
aroused by the sound of the approach
ing or passing car They throw up
their hands as if commanded to do SO
by highway robbers and scramble on
TO the car without looking to see
whether they have hailed the right car
or not. When they have been on the
street-car about as long rs they think
necessary to reach their destinations
they look out of the window and dis
cover that they are in strange part
of the town. In the case of
women they screech, and shout: Say,
sab, conduAor-r-r! Why did you
not tell me that l was on the wrong
car? Where am /? What street Is
this?" The conductor informs them.
"Well, let me off" says the lost woman,
"and / will walk" There is generally
a great deal of accent on the word
walk"
The wrong change kicker is a we'll
known character on the street cars Of
Milwaukee. He will get on a. loaded
car and hand the conductor hanf dol
lar coin, get his change and after the
conductor has collected the rest Of
fares he will call him up and ask:
"Where is the rest of my change?
] gave you a dollar and you gave
me forty-five cents in change"
The conductor tries TO explain to him,
but he will not listen. And he threat
ems to have the conductor fired for try
ing to rob passengers.
A bothersome kicker is the dust
kicker who wants the doors and win
dows all closed so that the dust will
not soil his black suit. The close at.
mosphere kicker wants the doors and
windows open because he is suffocat-
ing or perspiring SO profusely as to
spoil his shirt-front. Another kind of
kicker kicks because he discovers that
some one is smoking inside of the car
and is trying to make smoked ham of
the passengers. -Peck's Sun.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
USE BOTH HANDS.
The LEFT May Be Made ~ Dextrous as tho
RigItt,


The good physician says that the
child should be tauyht to use both
hands with equal dextcrity. One'never
knows how much "a thumb is worth till
he sprans it; more particularly the
thumb of the right hand. But he will
,hen come into the full appreciation of
the phrase: always ON hand. like a
sore thumb" And he will find, too,
through its disability, that that piece of
anatomy is an important factor in
about everything he undertakes to do.
Indeed, man can live without cooks
more comfortably than he can live
without thumbs.
What the thumb is TO the hand, so is
the hand 60 the remainder of the body;
and thus it becomes prime essential
that the doctors advice be followed,
and the boy trained in his earliest youth
TO use both hands with equal facility.
Nor is the matter one of special diff
Guilty. The infant is not born right or
left-handed, as generally supposed. His
becoming either, or ambideXterous is
incidental, or by education. In the
earliest stage, in fact, the youngster
has no use at all for his fists, except
plunging them into his eyes or mouth.
He has to learn the use of both. and,
while he is about it, little attention
not more than is bestowed on his walk
and his talk by his doting parents-will
put him on the proper tack as to his
digital extremities.
That this can be readily done is
shown from the ease with which grown
people learn the use Of the left hand in
special cases. The young lady type
writer, for example, knows no differ
ence between the right and left bank
of her keys, while the pianist is accus-
toned to execute the most difficult
passages on the lower register of the
instrument
The athletic sports particularly call
for ambideXterous work, as in rowing
and baseball, or in football, where the
heads of the opposing team are often
punched with the left as with the right
fist Mr.. John l.. Sullivan and other
gentlemen of the joyous science of fisti
cuffs always lead with the left hand,
and do the major part of their smuggling
in that form, the right hand being kept
in reserve and for defense
Since these results can be attained in
special cases there is no reason why, in
general, the left arm, if trained in
youth, should not be as effective as the
right, and, like the left, be placed on
an equality with its fellow limb.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
THE AMERICAN JOKE.
It 10 Better Understood by the Arab than
the Epglishman.

It 10 Better Understood by the Arab than
the Epglishman.
America" said Darweesh TO one of
the ladies, must be fine place and
very like Egypt You have corn, to-
bacco, watermelons and a big river
there"
And crocodiles," to she replied
"Wallahr' he cried in admiration;
then, with a slight touch of jealousy
that these blessings should be scattered
broadcast, he added: do they eat
men?"
mo. only dogs" she admitted
"Ahw he returned, exulting in the
superior gastronomic taste of the Egyp-
tian saurian, 'ours eat men,
"Of course yours will not eat dogs;
they are Moslem crocodiles," she an
swered, referring TO the Mohammedans'
avoidance of the dog as an unclean ami
NAL.
As one of the most lovable character
istics of the Arab 10 his instant and in
tense appreciation of the feeblest joke
Darweesh seemed much amused and re-
peated with many chuckles: ours are
Moslsm crocodiles," az he went about
- As(ly werk'-saribasr.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
A HELPFUL EXPERIENCE.
How a Young Man was Saved From Be-
coming a Misanthrope.

THE years that l had spent in learn
ing the trade" said a wealthy retired
stove dealer, had left gloomy inn
preston on me. Then, as now, almost
every body that had furnace that
needed fixing up put off attending to it
until the last minute, and then they all
wanted the work done at once OF
course most of them had to wait, and
those who had to wait growled. 1t
seemed as though the world was full of
GROWERS. At twenty-one ! was in dan
ger of becoming a misanthrope, but ]
was saved from that by new expert
ence.
about the first call had after start
ing in business for myself was from
school. The furnace had broken down
suddenly in mid-winter The school
was closed while the repairs were be-
ing made. The breaking down of the
furnace fairly delighted the children;
their only regret was that it wasn't
more broken down, so it would take
longer to fix it. OF course, it was per-
tectly natural that the children should
look at it just as they did. Neverthe-
less it was pleasing incident; and be-
yond the mere amusement that it af-
forded me at the moment, it yielded
this more substantial benefit: 1t awak-
ened me to the fact that the way in
which things appear often depends very
much on how you look at them.
"In this happier frame of mind dis
covered that besides the GROWERS that
had happened TO meet there were in
the world plenty of thoughtful and con-
siderate people, and that one needed
only the right sort of eyes to be able to
see good points even in the man that
got cross about his stovepipe. IN. Y.
Sun,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The South Atlantic university to be
built by the Presbyterian synods COM
prising the states of North and South
of $500, 900, will be located at Augusta,
Ga.
"A Chicago school boy received n box
on the ear from his teacher, and was
deaf in that organ for three weeks. A
school teacher in Montreal was recent
ly fined twenty five dollars for the same
offense.
The reported expenditure for do
nestle missions of the Episcopal church
for the year ending September, 1891,
was S29l, 4O2, of which gross sum S42.-
0S2 was expended for work among the
colored people. The gross receipts for
domestic missions for the fiscal year
were S25l, 467.
Since the partition OF Africa the
governments of England, Germany,
Italy and Portugal have made an agree
ment for the reciprocal protection of
their missionaries i'm the dark CONT
nent. Armed with passport from the
government to which they belong, the
missionaries will enjoy the protection
of each of these powers.
New York city, with a population
of /, 700, 600, has more than 800 school
departments, 1900 teachers, an aver
age attendance of 100, 600 pupils daily,
and total attendance of 800, 900. The
salaries of teachers, janitors and en-
ployes now aggregate over SO, 600, 600,
and the expenditure for the schools
yearly exceed considerably 81, 900, 00O
Among those in London who have
given themselves earnestly to work
among the poorer classes in London is
the earl of Beauchamp, who has decid-
ed to take up his residence among the
east end poor for the purpose of direct
ing mission work among them. The
earl is secretary of the Christ Church
mission at Poplar, one of the suburban
districts.
The beardless priest is so only as a
matter of custom. There is no edict
upon the subject All the popes from
Adrian vi. to Innocent NIL, and all the
clerpymen from the cardinals TO the
young clerics, including Ignatius
Loyola, st. Francis Xavier, Francis de
Sales, Vincent de Paul, the cardinals
Bellarmine and Richelieu, were bearded
dignitaries of the church.
The new Georgia association
formed by the union of the white and
colored churches of the state and South
Carolina, of the Congregational order,
will meet at Atlanta, April 6, 1892. All
the churches of the old association have
approved of the plan of union except
the First church of Savannah and the
Plymouth church of Charleston, and
these have now withdrawn opposition.
The Danish government has intro
duced bill into the Folkthing provid-
ing for the erection of state college
for women teachers. 1t is calculated
to accommodate sixty-four; the term
extends over three years and no one
can be received who has not completed
her eighteenth year. In connection
with the college it is proposed to have
state school for some thirty or forty
children of ages between seven and
ten, so as to afford the intending teach
ers an opportunity of useful and prac-
teal training.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
Musical Note.

At the Yerger man sion at an evening
sociable, a musical young lady played
and sung piece called sylvan
Sounds, in which the singing and notes
of the hooking. bird and the lark were
initiated
Did not that young lady's singing re-
mind you of the singing of the birds?
You might have thought she was really
a Bird" asked Gilhooly.
"Yes, but never saw bird SIT down
at table after it got through singing
and hide away three or four cups OF
tea, half ham, and enough cake and
ice-cream TO founder a mule. You
never saw a lark or mocking-bird,
did you?" replied Hostetter McGinnis.
Texas Siftings.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
SHOT TOO LOW.
The Famous Nimrod Got No Ducks, But
Plenty of Their Legs.

The Famous Nimrod Got No Ducks, But
Plenty of Their Legs.
Old Capt. Prout. for whom Prouts
Neck, now a well-known summer re-
sort, is named, was noted gunner in
The days when water fowl were plenty
IN that vicinity. Early one spring,
1860 or Whereabouts" said an old settler
10 me, "he brought home from the West
indies gun, the like of which had
never been seen by the natives. 1t was
4 muzzle-loader, about two-gage, and
weighed some thirty pounds. Soon after
its arrival there was a heavy storm, and
the next morning pond a couple OF
acres in extent back of the captains
barn was covered with ducks SO thick
that another one could not possibly
have been squeezed in. Here was an
opportunity to try the new gun, and
loading il with a regulation charge Of
one-fourth of a pound of powder and
one-half pound of'shot, he sailed forth.
At the corner of the barn he cooked the
piece and stepped out with it held in
readiness. When within about forty
yards all the ducks jumped as one bird.
The captain aimed at the middle of the
mass and fred"
Here my informant stopped as II ex.
pecting some encouragement and some.
what against my will felt constrained
to ask; How many did he get?"
oval" he replied, "he didn't get
any. he undershot, but he picked up
three bushels of ducks legs."-Fores I
and Stream.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
Happy Eooslers.

william Timmons Postmaster of ldayille,
md. writes: electric Bittcrs has done more
for me than all other medicines combined for
that bad feeling arising from Kidney and Liver
trouble" John Leslie, farmer and stockman
of same place, saws Find Electric Btters TO
be the best Kidney and Liver medicine, mace
me feed like new mon.' j. W. Gardner
hardware merchant, same town, saps: Electric
Bitters II just the thing for a man who is all
run down and don't care whether he lives or
dies: be found new strength, good appetite
and felt ust like he had a new leose on life.
Only 5oc bottle. at b. 5, Webbs Drug Store.2
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
A Romantic Tour Cut short.

A young couple who had just been
married at Prague determined to make
their way to their new home in Stettin
by balloon voyage instead of by railway
journey, which, it is gravely suggested,
they thought to be less safe in these
days of frequent continental railway
accidents. The balloon came down at
Beeskow, in Brandenburg, and could
not be further used without refilling, a
process for which there seems to have
been no facilities at hand. The mar
ried couple were, after all, obliged to
resort TO the hateful and prosaic rail.
wsy train.-N. Y. Journal.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12

MORTGAGE SALE:-Dcfault having been
III made I'm the conditions OF a certain NOR
tgage, whereby the power therein contained
TO sell has become operative executed by
Esther l., Stark. of Alma. county of Gratiot
state of Michigan. to Farnam G.. stone. special
guardian. OF saginaw. Saginaw county and
state OF Michigan, dated the END day of Sep
tombor A, ID lSS1 aud recorded IN the flee OF
the register of deeds for the county of Gratiot
State OF Michigan, Ia liber 20. of mortgages on
pages 5I2 ana 51i. on the .BId DAY of Sc pit mber
1884. which said mortgage was duly assigned
on the 2nd day OF september 1890 by Farnam
& stone, special Guardian. OF the City OF Sagi-
nav, IN the state OF Michigan. 10 Mortimer
Ely, of stockton. \. Y, which assignment is
recorded in the Ohce OF the register of deeds
in GratiOt county, in libCr o. OF mortgages, OH
page. 81 on the 18th dny of January 1892 on
which mortgage. according 10 the terms there
of. there is claimed TO be due at the date of
this notice. for principal interest ard for in
surancc paid, the sum OF eight hundred and
four dollars and seventy cents tSoOi.10) and no
suit or proceeding at law or in equity having
been instituted TO recover any part thereof,
notice is hereby given that on Monday. the
18th day OF April, S83, at nine O'Clock in the
forenoon ! shall sell at public auction to the
highest bidder, at the front door of the Gratiot
county circuit court house, In the village OF
Ithaca. In said county of (iTatiOt, the premises
IN said mortgage described: or so much thereof
as shall be necessary 10 81 isiy the amount
due on said mortgage. with per cent intcrt 81
and legal costs. together with an attorney fee
OF 80 ds Is 10y statute provided, that Is 10 say,
the following pieces ana parcels of land situA
ted in the village Of Alma. i'm the county Of
Grdtiot in the -tate OF NJ chigan, and describ-
cd as follows 10 wit: Commencing IL rods and
u feet west of the southeast corner OF the
southwest quarter of the Southwest quarter
OF section thirty four In township twelve
mouth OF range three west. and running thence
north ten rods. west twenty-nine feet. south
ten rods, cast twenty nine feet, 10 the place OF
beginning.
Dated January nd 1892
JOHN d. srINNEY. MORTIMER ELY,
Atty for Assignee Assignee of Mortgage.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
La Grippe Again.

During the epidemic of la Grippe last season
Or. king New Discovery for Consumption,
Coughs and Colds proved 10 be the best remedy.
Reports from the many who used it confirm
this statement. They were not only quickly
relieved. but Il disease left no bad after re-
suits. sc ask yOu 10 give this remedy trial
and we guarantee that you will be satisfied
with results, or the purchase price will be re-
funded 1t has no equal in La Grippe, or any
thro Chest or Lung Trouble. Trial bottle
free at b. :. Webb's Drug store. Large bottle
sOet and GlC0 >
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
COULDN'T EAT HIS SOUP.
How His Deliberate Manner OF Speaking
Deceived the Waiter.

Deceived tho Waiter.
A certain literary German whose
manner of speaking was extremely de-
liberate and who disapproved Of inn
petuosity of any sort under any circum-
stances had an amusing experience in
restaurant one day. He was a we'll
known figure among the patrons Of
this particular restaurant, as he seldom
dined anywhere else, and he generally
was served by waiter who had be-
come used to his way of speaking but
one day new waiter took his order
and brought his soup. II can not eat
this SOUP" said the gentleman, slowly,
not looking up from his plate, after he
had summoned the waiter for the Sec
ond time. The man seized the offend
ing dish before the customer could
finish the sentence and vanished
with it. He reappeared in a moment
with another supply of the same soup,
which he placed before the gentleman,
and then stood regarding him with an
anxious face, wondering what could be
the reason the soup remained untasted.
II can not eat this soup" again slowly
remarked the literary man. "Why not,
sir? What is the matter?" stammered
the unhappy waiter, who had been told
he was serving an important person.
II can not eat this soup" said the liter
airy genius, calmly, for the third time,
because / have not as yet been pro-
vided with a spoon" And looking up
TO catch the expression of relief on the
walters face he indulped in the low
chuckle which was the only expression
Of amusement to which he ever gave
way.-Chicago News.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12

MORTGAGE SALE:--wbereas, default has
wi beer made In the payment or money Sc
cured by mortgage dated the 9th day OF No
yeinDer A. ID 1850, executed by Charles $.
Douglis nnd Fanny NJ, Douglas, his wife OF the
township ~ Wa hiuGtOn county Of GratiOt
ana stat ot Michigan, 10 Ransom j Ffuker Of
ithacH, Huiiot county. Micbivnn; which said
nOriNfuc Nhs ftcnfDfd IN tnt oNCE II the
LEICESTER 81 Ue d. 90 GratiOt cIuuly ou the
Nth tsy Of NoVruibn r iseb iu Libfr sl 90 mfirl-
tare, Al paR' I8i. az 30 O'Clock o. an uf "a 60
"tY, ana whrrtHe rlc amnlI I raiNl,a tn b.
du" 80 this dat upon slid mort .tse /, tne sum
Oi FIVE hundred reY'u, Go ht auGn metz II, H. ht
one huudrcoihs 'iidrs a. 1890 principal Hnd
Interest with one otiGr insfairfeut az lfv,,
huhdred dollars ana Interest thereon yet
10 fdll dnc. 40 vii; ON November Nth 1892
and the whole amount unpaid az this date he
inE the sum OF one Thousand dDiinrs and in
tfrts 81 thereon ~ the rate OF seven % per cent.
per annum since November 9th 1884, together
wlth the attorney tee OF twenty-five dollars
allowed Oy STATUTE az an attorney lee up.
on foreclosure OF this IN lrtRaVe. And
suit or proceeding at law or in equity hav ny
been institutcdtO recover the debt now remain
ing secure ny said mortgage or any part there
OF, Whereby the power al sale contained In
said mortgage has become operative Now
therefore notice IT, hereby given thar by virtue
OF said power uf sale ana Ia pursuance 81 the
statute m such case nude And provided the
said mortgage Will be fOrCClOspd by "A sale of
the premises therein described at nii bic auc-
ton 10 the highest bidder at the front door OF
The court house. in tlr village of lthlct, la the
county ~ Hrstlet on the y ia day of April
lslt ~ 10 O'Clock Il. IN. IF that dry such sale
Viii be nHde 90 satisfy the amount of said
mortgage now due. and subject % payment OF
one instalnent thereof yt 10 become due as
above set forth The mJrigHgcd premises are
described As the south west quarter OF Sec
two aud the south hair of the south west
quarter OF section thirteen Nll in township
nine north OF range two west, Michigan.
Dated February 5rd 1872.
JNO. T. MATHEWS, RANSOM j. FEAKER,
AIRY for NOrtgngce MOrtguGce.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
Don't Get I'm posed Union

Is good motto 10 follow ia buying medi.
cine Hs wen as IN everything else BY the uni
Vetsai satisfaction IL has given and by the
mahy rcmSrkaoir cures II has accomplished.
Duliam's Great German blood Liver Stomach
ana kidney cure has proven itself uneaualed
Tor DuI'c ng up and cleansing your system
ana loi an ulseases arising from impure blood
d. not experiment with an unheard of or nm.
urea article which you are told is as good hut
ID sure to get Du!lam's. All drug gists keep il
> per bottle. For sale by B. VanDenBergh
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12

NO Dsnger.-Aunt Betsy-"Mercy
sSakes alivet It's enough TO scare .
body out of ten years growth to have
all them bicycles running loose around
the town; an them pesky, little, low
ones is every mite as bah as the great
wheelsr' Charlie Coaster "Oh, no,
aunty, the safeties won't hurt you; the
owners never take them out without Q
chain On thsn. "-vl sslnAA's osos)eA
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
DANGEROUS OCCUPATIONS.
No Matter How Hazardous, There Are
Many Who Undertake Them.

NO Matter HOW hazardous, 1here Are
Many Who Undertake Them.
One of the curious features of mod
ern life is the extent to which the most
hazardous trades are overrun by appli-
cants for work. The electric-light com
panies never find any difficulty in OBJ
tanning all the linemen they need, not
withstanding the fact that the dangers
of that kind of business have been
demonstrated times without number.
The men who work in factories where
wall paper is made frequently joke one
another over the tradition that mans
life, in this trade, is shortened ten
years. A similar belief is prevalent
in factories where leather papers
are made, and among men who
have to handle them. and whose
lungs are said to become impeded by
inhaling the dust arising from such
papers. In certain other factories,
where brass ornaments and fittings are
made, the air is laden with very fine
brazen particles, which are, when in
hailed, especially irritating TO the lungs.
But one Of the most singular advertised
calls for employees that was ever print
ed appeared recently in a Connecticut
newspaper, signed by a firm engaged
in the business of building towers. 1t
called for applicants only among those
who are young, strong and courageous,
and closed by saying: I'VE warn all
seekers for this job that it is OF the
most dangerous nature, and that few
men continue in it more than few
years. In fact, it is almost certain
death to the workman who follows
this occupation" = American Imple-
ment Herald.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
Physicians Outdone.

My wife has been suffering female
trouble o. the seYerest kind Tor over three
years ! have paid twenty-five dollars during
the last three months. and she had 10 relief
She had doctored continually with the best OF
physicians.
/ bought three bottles each Of Dulam's
Great German Female Uterine Tonic and Dull
lam's Great German Blood. Liver. stomach
and Kidney cue ard can say tO-doy that she
is entirely cured W II. DHowLtY
Sworn TO before me on this -3ru day OF June
$500 JOHN &. JULIAN,
Flint Mich Notary Public, Genesee Co.
Slab tile For sale by Is. NanDen Bergh
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-02-12
Bucklen's Arnica Salve.

The est Salve In the world for GUS, Sores
Bruises, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever sores
letter. Chappep Hands. Chiblains. Corns and
ali skin Erupt,ons, and positively cures Tiles
or no pay required. II is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded. Price
20 cents per box. For safe by Ii. :. Webb.