The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1892-01-08
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

"lSb ANU
la Cripple is not a thing to be sneezed
at.
A nice new umbrella is used up when
it is used at all.
Running expenses are those which you
pay as you go.
It is the ''sweet buy and buy" at the
candy shop all the time.
Egotism is failing which is invariably
possessed by the other fellow.
The buzz saw has what might be term
ed an unapproachable manner.
Tomson-"My wife and l never dis
agree. "-Johnson-"Her word is law
then"
Did it ever occur to you that no man
can "raise the devil" without lowering
himself?
Sullivan-"Have yez got all account of
yer last milo" Kilrain-'Yes; in me
scrapbook."
At this season of the year we believe it
is commendable for women to mince
matters.
He-"Why is justice represented as a
never done.
When man resolves to be good and
patient the next pair of shoes he buys are
sure to pinch him.
Host, to waiter-"Did you give the
tourist his bill?' Eyes" impossible
he is still whistling"
Nearing the City. Traveler-"How far
are we from Chicaga?" Porter-"AbOut
twenty-five cents, sah.'
Considering Mr.. GladstOnes achieve
ments with the ak, wouldn't it be more
appropriate to call him the "Grand Old
Teller"
The Pessimist View-An optimist is
not an optician, though both look at the
world great deal through glasses.
"What did you get for your birthdays"
"a watch chain" "Where is it? Let's
see It," Cant. It's with the watch"
II don't understand what you see in a
game of foot ball." she said. "You see
stars" replied the new player emphatic
ally.
"Do you think you can support me,
George" she asked, an hour after he had
proposed. Yes; if you'll get on the
other knee" he said.
"You said Sokker was quite active IN
your campaign" Yes" redlied the de-
feated candidate. "In what capacity?"
about gallon day."
Lady engaging servant)-"You seem
to possess every necessary qualification.
Have you sweetheart" Servant-"No,
mum; but can soon get one"
Van Bust-."Every time you make me
a pair of trousers you measure me little
short" Tailor-"That isn't my fault.
You always come in that way"
Cholly-"You seem all broken up OF
chap" Chappie - "Yaas." Cholly-
what is the mattah?' Chap qie-'I
don't know, am suah; but my man says
he thinks l am in love-"
For three weeks | was suffering from
severe cold in my head, accompanied
by pain in the temples. Ely's Cream
Balm was recommended to me. After
only six applications of the Balm every
trace of my cold was removed.-Henry
c. Clark, New York Appraisers office.
Easily answered-'Whatw would you do
if you were in my shoes?" asked Miss
Livewayte, of Chicago. sect pair
about seven sizes smaller" replied Miss
Blocker, of New York.
Briggs-"I see that CRANKY had to send
back the marble statue of his wife that
he ordered" Briggs-'WhyP Didn't
she like it?'' Briggs-"No; she wanted
one made wearing sealskn cloak"
suffered from acute Inflammation in
my nose and head-for week at a time
1 could not see. l used Ely's Cream
Balm and in few days was cured. 1t
is wonderful how quick it helped me -
Mrs. George S. Judson, Hartford, Conn.
He-"Do you think there is any truth
in the saying, Distance makes the heart
grow fonder?'" She-'rm sure of it.
like you ever so much better when you
are away"