The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-07-13
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

All Sorts OF Paragraphs.
Few criminals of any kind live to-
be old men. a
- Plants grow faster between 4 and g
g. m. than at any other time during the
day.
- The young lady without an engage
ment ring has nothing on hand to speak
of. ae.5
= The best farm in the promised land
is always the one which has the biggest
giants living on it.
IF sunshine had 70 be paid for, there
are people who would declare that CANDLE
light could beat it.
= The blindest people are those who
never find out that they cannot be happy
in their own way.
"A "Poor Richard Almanac" of f17581
sold for $35 at an auction in Philadelphia
few days ago..
- Massachusetts was the first of the
American colonies to adopt slavery.
Georgia was the last.
- It is never too late to mend. This is
why the cobbler never has your boots
done at the time promised.
- The negroes are not dying of rapid
ly. They have increased from 5000, ,ooo|
in the emancipation days to 7,000,0 900.
Grover Cleveland, tariff for revenuc|
only, no force bill and honest money Is
what the Democrats of South Caroline
want.
The first commercial transaction
that is recorded in scored history. Isl
Abraham's purchase of the cave of Mach-
pelah.
- The percentage OF women who sucs
cessfully pass the examination for goy.I
ernment positions is greater thar that OF
men,:
"A New Jersey minister married ff.i
teen couples within sixty minutes theI
other day. Fifteen knots an hour isn,tI
bad.
One of the glorious privileges Of ey.I
cry American citizen is his right to be 81
candidate for any Office within the giftI
Of the people.
- There is no difference in the mind Of
God between the man who breaks thBI
Sabbath and the one who sells goods byf
a short yard stick.
= Washington authorities report ga
new aud dangerous counterfeit" Asitl
represents $50 bill, it is not dangerous}
to newspaper men.
An Ohio man carried his Jug to theI
wheat field and put it under shady treesS
1t got broke and 3 COW and one chicken
got gloriously drunk.
= Emma-Father, don't you think wet
want some new gas burners? Father-No.l
That young man who comes to see youa
every evening is gas burner enough fort
me.
Two lovers at Wilmington, o., com:
mitted suicide by taking strychnine Sun-
day morning, June 26. The young lady's7
mother objected to the match and they
preferred death 10 separation.
- There are moro idle men in thisb
country to day than there has been at anyl
previous time during its history. Thai
four years Of Grover Cleyeland's adGiH:S s3
istration were ones of unprecedenfsds
prosperity.
DO not thiuk of knocking ont asS
other PERSONS brains because he di
in opinion from you. It would be j9
rational to knock, yourself on ths
because you differ from yourself tek.
ago.
- The money order department Of ftheE
Pittsburg PENN Postofice is exclusives:
ly in charge OF Miss Mary Steele, and the
receipts, almost s., 500, 900 last year, marE
it as one of the largest business handled
by any woman in America.
= With the desire Of giving her huss
band true picture of herself, womsn
in Atchison, Kansas, had her photograph
taken as she appeared at daily housework
in her kitchen dress with a baby on ons
arm and 8 broom and dustpan on the#
other.
Husband-Where is the hatchet 3
Wife-In the attic. eff you saw iti1
the attic, why didn't you bring it downs
I didn't see it." 'oThen who did ?n afId I'D
one that I know Of" 'Then howssilE
creation do you know it's in the attic Oh
IT heard you up there yesterday driving
nail" z--S| -
"A paragraph is going the round Oh
the press, explaining on scientific ground
why girl cannot throw stone. HBoma
scientist would kindly point out VI
the safest position the bystander can oc
cupy-whether behind or before-wheI
she attempts it, be would be to some ex
tent public benefactor.
- Professor Lors, the Greek rifle =
is attracting much attention bys
of shooting a glass ball from kas
The trick is performed by shooting 90
trigger ofa rifle held in frame, wits
muzzle sighted at a glass ball dangling b
string directly over the markham
head. - |
- Miss Wellalong (who hopes by mai
ing light Of her years to be thought quit
young)-Reslly, prefer to look on.
am getting too old to dance, you KNOW
Mr.. Affable (who prides himself on
ways saying the right thing)-Oh, COM
now, you are not old. I don't beliey
you are within ten years of as old as yo
look.
- This from the Southern Murchma,
is too good to skip: A good answer VI
made by an old Christian, who; When 4
was asked what his business was, said