davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
SELLING MONEY.
why the People In the Car Looked
Sheepish.


Why the People In the Car Looked
sheepish.
se was a spruce-lookingy young fellow
w,,,h some jewelry display, unquiet
clothes, and polka dot shirt, but he
had money. as fifty-dollar bill in his
hand testified. He looked up and down
the ear a minute, and then started down
the aisle.
81 say, my friend" he remarked to a
well-to-do farmer, Il need some change
badly, and if you will give me forty
Eve dollars for this fifty-dollar bill it
will be an accommodation to me-"
The farmer didn't more than look up
when he shook his head and said he was
short of change.
"All right" chirruped the young one
and passed on to man who was un-
mistakably a city broker.
"Can you give me forty-five dollars in
change for this fifty dollars?" he asked,
sticking a bill out at him.
The broker glanced at it minute
and was sorry he couldn't accommo-
date him.
He smiled pleasantly and went on to
a smart young drummer from New York
apparently.
IF you've got forty dollars in change
and will let me have it for this fifty
dollars, IT'S yours" he said laying it
down before the drummer.
The travelling man looked up with a
sly wink.
Come off, Gully" he said Familiarity.
81 guess you're not onto my curves.
Suppose you try that hayseed in the
other end of the car"
The man with the fifty only smiled
and went on to the next man, to whom
be offered it for thirtyfive dollars, and
then to the next at thirty dollars and
to the next at twenty-five dollars, in
each instance meeting with refusal to
negotiate. Then he made a general Of
fer to anybody in the car to sell that
fifty dollar bill for twenty dollars in
change, and then he dropped to ten dol
lars, but still no takers
There is no telling what he would
have offered it at If the train boy hadn't
come along just in the nick of time.
Here, boy" he said to him. 81 want
two dollars, worth of novels if you can
charge this fifty-dollar bill"
The boy took it, examined it briefly,
and remarked: "Cert, mister. Wait till
l go git it changed"
In five minutes he returned with a
handful of fves, tens, ones and twos,
took out his two dollars for the novels,
and the spruce young fellow, with a
broad grin at every body in sight, sat
down to read and think. And all the
others thought. too.-Detroit Free
Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
49, ------------ ---------
PlTH AND POINT.

--Tom-"Know Wilson," Jack
"Yes" Tom-'very well?" Jack
eyes. Fifty dollars"
Having fun is like buying catfish;
after you have cut the head off there is
rot much left-Atchison Globe.
The man who is in 1.-THE hands Of
bis friends" is liable to take fall at
any ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Journal
Your friend will always be pleased
10 learn that you are getting on nicely
Just so long as you are not getting
ahead of him. Galveston News.
The married man who interrupts
while his wife is giving him a curtain
lecture only delays the time of his go
ing to sleep. -Somerville Journal.
If the departed can know what is
going on in the world, Heaven is full of
angels swelled up like toads, caused by
reading the fattering words in their
obituaries -Atchison Globe.
If a mans wife caught him kissing
his typewriter it could hardly be
a typographical error. but it would GER
certainly be misprint and would be
promptly corrected. o. Delta.
Poor mani" said the sympathetic
young woman; 81 suppose you are not
equal to hard work" Equal to hard
work." responded Mr.. Weary Watkins,
81 am superior to Indianapolis
Journal
~ never withhold anything from
my wife. ! tell her every night all that /
have done during the day" And do you
tell every day what you have done dur
ing the night?" "Well, that's differ
ent. IN. Y. Sun.
Where the Profit Came In.-Mrs.
Trotter-"How much did you pay for
that cigar" Mr. Trotter-''Ten cents,
my dear" Mrs. Trctter-"Rather a
profitable nvestment-considerin that
the cigar itself has about twenty
scents. IN Y. Herald.
"A Disappointed Man.-Customer--
"You cheated me in those apples.
have made inquiries and discovered the
fact" Dealer Tin a hurt tone)-"And
yet you said you would have perfect
trust in me. How disappointed am in
you Yankee Blade.
you know, Dorothy, these bis
cults of yours" he began, as hereached
across the breakfast table and helped
himself to the seventh. "Yes?" said
his wife, with weary, feeble smile.
"Ahl they're nothing like mothers"
mop" And the smile was gone. mo.
Not bit. You see, mothers were
heavy and gave me dyspepsia, while
yours are as light as feather. and /
can eat about-why, what's the matter.
Dorothy?" She had tainted. Kate
Fields Washington.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
MARVELS OF SCIENCE.
Some of the Wonders We May Look For
ward

Some of the Wonders We May Look For
ward To.
Wonderful as the advances in our
knowledge and electricity have been in
the past few years, there is reason to
believe that we have yet hardly crossed
the threshold of discovery in this direc-
ton. Hints of what is to come occa-
sionally escape from the laboratories
and studies of the men who are now
pushing on the outposts of electrical
science, and these hints sometimes fair
ly take away the readers breath. Men
of science have not yet settled the ques-
ton of what electricity is, but every
new discovery shows more and more
plainly that whatever it may be, there
is hardly any natural phenomenon in
which it does not play a more or less
important part
Prof. Oliver j. Lodge thinks cleo
tricity is mode of manifestation of the
ether, that strange medium which is
supposed to pervade all space, and TO
carry light from sun to planet, and from
star to star.
In a recent address, Prof. William
Crookes points out some of the mar
vellous powers and possibilities that
the continued advance in our knowl-
edge of electrical phenomena seems
about to place within our grasp.
Man is constantly searching for new
and cheaper sources of energy by
means of which he may drive his en-
gines and carry on, in its fast-multiply-
ing forms, the work that civilization
demands to have done.
But men of science, like Prof
Brookes, say that in a single cubic foot
of the ether, in which the earth is sub
merged, ten thousand foot tons of en-
ergy-that is. force enough to lift ten
thousand tons one foot-lie imprisoned.
only awaiting the magic touch of sci
ence to be loosed for the service of
man.
They tell us, also, that the latest
researches give US reason to hope that
these stores of power may actually be
opened, and drawn upon.
Prof. Nicholas Tesla has already sue
ceeded i'm producing in room an cleo
trostatic field, into which if glass tube
exhausted of air is carried, the tube will
glow with light and illuminate the room
ike lamp. IL hoN dppCdiSi 40 Il Iol-
Crool1es says, that "a true flame can be
produced without chemical aida flame
which yields light and heat without the
consumption of material and without
chemical process" Those who have
studied ''the chemistry of the candle"
will appreciate what this means
To telegraph without wires, to get
light without heat, to make solid walls
i'm effect transparent-sucha are some Of
the strange possibilities after which
students of electricity may now strive
with fair hopes of success; and the at
tainment of these ends would mark but
single step in the advance of modern
science. -Youth's Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
GOOD BREAD.
Some Practical Suggestions for Making 1t

Some Practical Suggestions for Making 1t.
In submitting the following recipe ]
feel sure that all who try it will agree
with me. In the first place l always
use equal quantities of the best patent
and winter wheat four mixed. Stiff
about four quarts of flour into the
bread bowl, and then push it aside from
the center leaving room to pour in the
milk. Warm one pint of milk
to blood heat, or little more than
luke warm; into this milk dissolve
one tablespoon of sugar, one ia.
blespoon of salt, four cakes OF
compressed yeast and one-hali
tea cup of cooking butter (which yor
should carefully prepare and always
have on hand ready for use). Pour the
milk containing the yeast, butter, etc,
into the flour. Mix in flour of suffi.
cient consistency to lift on to the
board; free the hands and shape the
dough nicely in the board and allow il
to rest about five minutes. You will
be surprised to see how much good is
accomplished by this rest" The
dough seems to take in the flour and
absorb it, so that it is much easier
to handle afterward. After i,
has rested FIVE minutes, knead
it very lightly and gently, and
it will almost Immediately become
smooth and leave the board and hands
perfectly free; as soon as it does this
place it in buttered bowl or pan &c
rise; butter over the top and set in a
warm place. In about thirty minutes
you will find it ready to mold. Roll out
and cut one dozen Parker house o.
French rolls, and mold the remainder
into two nice brick-shaped loaves. But.
ter over the rolls and loaves with melt.
ed butter, put in pans and set in q
warm place. and in ten minutes the
rolls will be ready for the oven, and
should be baked in hot oven; as
soon as the rolls are done put
the bread in and bake thirty minutes.
l consider the above recipe, which OBJ.
tanned from Mrs. Dodson, rs nearly per.
feet as possible. / have seen her in her
classroom take her yeast in her hand
and in one hours time the rolls would
be out of the oven. When there is nc
hurry to make the bread use two cakes
of yeast instead of four, and then it will
take two and half or three hours.
There are many kinds of bread and
different methods of making, but the
one here given l feel sure will be the
one most liked and most used.-Mrs.
Charles III. Swift, in Saturday Evening
Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
One Marriage Not a Failure.

That one is as young as he or she
feels, and not as old as he or she is, was
beautifully demonstrated one day late.
ly by lady who lives up town on the
west side, with her husband and three
grown-up daughters, all lovely girls.
She came down to the breakfast table
radiant with smiles. She greeted her
daughters with all the spirit of a school
girl The lord of the house entered and
took his seat. Girls" said the moth
err, John and | were married thirty
wears ago to-day. After breakfast we
are going out for the day. We WONT
be home until morning. You can dc
just as you please with yourselves. >
Out they went, and they made day oil
it with long drive, dinner at the
Brunswick and box at the theater
The next morning the girls were littls
surprised to see their mother come down
to breakfast with the same radiant
countenance. ''Ohl girls" she ex
claimed, I'VE had grand time. Ah'
she sighed, II hope you will all get al
good husbands as have" And she had
been married thirty years. - n. Y
Times
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Realism grows apace," said a promi-
nent artist the other day, land the
conventional ideals are being bowled
over by IL in the most distressing fash
ion. The principal one of these is the
pictorial horse of our childhood-the
long, lean, fiery courser, who scours
the desert. the plain, or the race-track
with outstretched neck and stretch OF
limb extending over some forty feet.
They don't do him any more. When
Muybridge got TO work with that little
snapshot camera of his he knocked the
pictorial horse of tradition into a
cooked hat, and the artist of to-day is
doing the rampant steed on strictly sci
entific principles. The result is aston
ishing, and il will be some time before
the eve of the ordinary picture-lover
will be educated upto it. One of the
leading American painters of horses
has just completed picture of the last
Suburban finish. with the action of the
racers taken from the Muytridge pho
tos The animals are in the most gro
tesque positions, and look as if they
were indulging in series of equine
epileptic fits instead of bursting rec.
ords. N. Y. Commercial Advertiser
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
a POLITIC BOY.
He Would Be More Autocratlc Than
King President.

He Would Be More Autocratlc Than
King President.
'T'd like to be king for while, y
said one of the boys as he became tirel
of playing policeman"
What for?" asked his companion.
"Oh, jest SOS l could boss people
around and be bigger'n any one"
"Ho, I'd rather be president" re-
turned the second boy, with a burst OF
patriotism. He's bigger'n king"
NO" said the first boy with shake
of his head. He gets bossed hisself toe
much. He has to knuckle under to lots
of fellers- I'd ruther be a king. an
when anyone wanted to see me / could
be sort of high and airy and tell 'em 70
wait in the other room till finished
my smoke. Wouldn't it be bully to
keep the president of a railroad or an
alderman outside swearin' and kickin'
his heels together KNOWN that he das-
sent do anything but look pleasant
when you told him to come in"
That would be pretty bully" admit
ted the second But if / was goin' in
to be big gun that way, wouldn't be
king"
what would you be-"
''rd be doctor, an keep 'em waitin
longer n any king, and make 'em look
pleasant when they paid me five dol
lars for the fun of waitin' and seein' me
look wise. Chicago Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Dear Mother Dusk hath stolen in.
And, close unto the chimney tall.
Her wheel doth swiftly turn and spin,
And straightWay darker shadows fall
And straightway red the fame doth start,
The hearthstOne is aIight once mores
While shifting phantom fires dart
AthWart lie ceiling and the floor.
Outside. giant wind in vain
Hath striven for a welcome here.
Ard nov upon the vindow-pane
Self, truant snowfakes Whirl and peer
But let the giant madly blowi
What matter II he storms OF grieves;
For. from the fiery embers' glow.
Dear Mother Dusk story weaves
Methinzs IL could not well be told,
Because, in truth. It's zen, not spoke
The princess, though. hath hair Of gold
The ogre's beard IS curling smoke
And where his eharred Old castle stands.
Beside the moat and GElw'--ae here.
We see her wiring her lily han.s.
We SPY that lovely floating hairl
Fain would we 20 her rescue fly.
When 10. the draW bridge down doth crash
Princess and ogre buried lie
Where starry sparks and flames upfash,
Bear Mother Dusk hath stopped her wheei
And all the hearthstone brighter CLEANS
Night hath crept In, and she doth steal
To make place for Jack o Dreams
But Oh, the grim old ogre strong
And oh, the princess in the tower
Through echoes dim Of slumber-song
w feel that magic twilight hour
Virginia Woodward Cloud in St Nicholas.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

A delightful feature of French life il
the close, brotherly intimacy of men
lasting from early boyhood throughout
life. The thee" and thou of school
boy days are resumed after years OF
absence. A Frenchman will make
sacrifices for his friends as alertly as
an Englishman for his betrothed. One
comrade may have succeeded in the
race of life. the other may have failed
The fraternal bonds remain unbrolen-
Heart still speaks to heart as in that
careless time when the pair sat side by
side in the classroom. The closeness
of the marriage tie among ourselves in.
terferes with this kind of friendship.
In France it frequently happens that
TO his friend, and his friend only, man
can freely unburden himself.-Fort-
nightly Review.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
A LINGUISTIC TEST.
when q Man Can Get Mad In n Foreign
Tongue Easily as in His own

When q Man Can Get Mad In n Foreign
Tongue as Easily as in His own.
One frequently hears a man, or more
commonly still. woman, speak enthu-
siastically of some friend who knows
French, or German, or Italian, or what
ever language it may be, quite as well
as English
There is about one case in hundred
where the claim is substantiated. In
the other ninety-nine cases little in
vestigation would show that the lin
guist in question does not possess by
any means the same mastery of the for
eign tongue as of his own English
l saw this well illustrated the other
night in a French restaurant, where o
gentleman who has lived in Paris for a
dozen years was dining with some
friends. In the course of the meal he
got very angry with the waiter for hav-
ing served sole du CiR blanc instead of
a sole du 9rdtin And his annoyance
vas out of all proportion to the enor-
nifty of the mistake made by the unfor-
tunate garcon. The gentleman, whom
l knew as ordinarily calm and self-pos-
sessed, grew red in the face, excited in
gesture and loud in voice, although the
fact of the matter was that the fish was
almost as good with the wine sauce as
if it had been served with cheese.
do you know why you got so angry
with that fellow tonight" l asked
him later in the evening
Certainly do" said he; lit was be-
cause he nearly spoiled my dinner with
his ridiculous blunder."
NO" said /, that is not the real
reason. If you had been in an Ameri-
can restaurant you would not have got
into such a rage over the same thing.
"And why not pray?"
''Pe cause in an American restaurant
you would have spoken English, where
as tonight you were obliged to get an
cry in foreign language However
excellent your French may be it did not
allow you to dispose of the matter and
of the waiter in few quiet but crush
ing sentences, as you would have done
in English. The waiter had you at a
disadvantage, and that exasperated
you
At first my friend was disposed to ar
que the point but finally became con-
WINGED that one of the crucial tests of a
mans absolute perfection in language
is his ability to use it with the same
GOODNESS and deliberation as his own
when he is under the influence of some
strong emotion.
Another test is a mans ability to add
or multiply, using the foreign names
for the figures. Ask your friend who
boasts that his French is as good as his
English to add up substantial column
of figures with the Vingt and Quardnt,
and soirants instead of the names he
has been accustomed to, and nine times
out of ten, or indeed oftener, you will
find him unable to do it
This speaking foreign languages a:
well as ones own is a much more diff
cult matter than certain Cooks tourist:
would have one believe.-N Y. Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
TAKE HEART, MOTHERS.
The sicEIiest Children often Live to BE
the Strongest Men.

The sickIiest Children often Live TO BE
the Strongest Men.
Mothers with delicate children may
well take courage when they read OF
the sickly life of some of the exception
ally long-lived men. Whether it is the
extreme care taken that thus strength
ems their constitutions, or whether the
ailments of the system are worked off
in their many illnesses, it is certain
that not few who were particularly
frail as children have outlived many OF
their more vigorous contemporaries.
A notable instance of this was the EN-
peror William l., of Germany. For
many years he was frail and delicate,
giving great anxiety to his mother, and
1t was only through unremitting care
that he was safely brought through his
ailments to develop into a superb speci-
men of mankind. a veritable king
among men in stature aud physique.
No mother, therefore, who goes through
the intense anxiety of rearing a deli
cate and beloved child need despair OF
seeing him in the end strong and vigor-
ous-Los Angeles Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

American Girl latter a proposaD II
should marry you, could l wear q
crown?
Foreign Nobleman-oh, no.
well, don't mean a crown exactly,
but coronet, or a scepter, or some.
thing like that"
No"
''Then what's the good of title?"
Think of the palace you could live
IN. and the horses, and"
II have all that at home"
Then there is the society-dukes.
and princes, and = presentations a,
court-you know"
I'D like that But you'd always be
with me. wouldn't you?"
''Oh. yes"
II forgot about that. guess l won't
accept N. Y. Weekly
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Speaking of cunning men he had
done business with. an insurance man
of this city said: Il came across one
interesting case in my life 1t was a
brOken-dOwn country merchant whose
store and stock I insured When began
business, and l guess l made a serious
mistake, for the company l had him
written IL soon afterward was obliged
TO pay a total loss by fire. Some time
after the settlement learned that the
old fellow had been away from home
when the fire occurred. and had for
several days gone 10 the telegraph
Office in the town where he was stop
ping, always inquiring with great anx-
iety for a dispatch At last it came.
and before the operator had time to
write il ont the old chap exclaimed:
Good gracious, I'm ruined; my store is
burned down. philadelphia Pres&
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
The Only One Ever Printed-Can You Find
the Mordo

There is a inch display advertisement
In this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true of each new one appearing each week,
from The DIR. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places a Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful Autographs or
samples free.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

He-Why do you call Jack Dough.
bead a bell ringer?
Si.o- Because he gives ring to every
pretty girl who viii tolerate him.
jewelers. Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Go South via Louisville q Nashville R. r.
TO Evergreen, Pensacola or the Gulf Coast.
The Old Reliable has no superior for speed,
comfort and safety See your nearest COu-
pom Agent, or write G. p Atmore, Gen'I
Pass. Agent, Louisville, KY.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Plenty of Air--A gentleman had
fallen on the street in a faint and
crowd gathered at once Give the
man air. shouted a policeman, push
ing the crowd away. ale don't want
air" growled an anarchist Hes a
millionaire already" Detroit Free
PresS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

Her Aim to Please.-Mrs- Great
chum-"HOw can You wear that glar-
ing bonnet. my love? l never liked it -
Mrs TOOsweet-"My husband likes it.
and as long as I please him don't
care" (Intermission OF two hours)
Mr.. ToOsweet-''Can't we have a little
of that ounce preserve for tea tonight,
Clarissa2' Mrs T.-"Not much!
That's for company. Harper's Week
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh That
Contain Mercury.

AS mercury will surely destroy the sense
of smell and completely derange the whole
system when entering u through the mu
cous surfaces. Such articles should never
be used except on prescriptions from repu-
table physicians, as the damage they will dc
is ten fold to the good you can possibly de-
rive from them Halls Catarrh Cure, man.
ufactured by +. J. Cheney q Co, Toledo
o., contains no mercury, and is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. 1t is taken internally, and made
in Toledo, Ohio, by +. j. Cheney e. Co. Tes-
fimonials free.
r,ss@Sold hv Drugpists- nrice 75c. per bottle
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07

FoRTrFY Feeble Lungs Against Winter
with Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-04-07
Pushed for Time.

Suburban Resident thought you
told the new servant girl to clean those
windows.
His Better Half-I did. But she
didn't have time to do it before she
left-Puck.