Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1892-06-02

~ 81 Il Is often said, truly or
ZN not, that every woman has,
in the course Of her life. re-
, ceiyed at least one offer
Of marriage, and like a
good many other questionable state
ments this one is often accepted as
truth because of its frequent assertion.
But is it true, and how or we to de-
termine whether it is true or not? Sup
pose we petition the legislature for d law
compelling every woman to veraciously
answer some such catechism as this:
/. Did you ever have an offer Of mar
riage?
2. What was the form and mode in
which it was made?
3. Did Your refuse or accept
A. Why:
Really it does not seem tome more i'm
pertinent to ask such questions than
those which men with books and pencils
and an abrupt manner are legally EN-
powered to ask all the time from house
to house.
In the time of the war they asked every
housekeeper how many spoons and forks
she had, and how much they weighed.
have myself been obliged to declare
the value Of my personal jewelry and
ornaments, not to mention impertinent
questions Of custom house officers.
So really it would be nothing more
personal to ask the four little questions
I have suggested, and only think what
fund of useful and entertaining his
tory would thus be opened up; also
what valuable hints to men, maids and
widows upon the best and most effectual
mode Of conducting their little opera
tions.
If these reports coald be printed and
put into general circulation, do but fancy
the revolution that would take place
founded upon positive data instead Of
vague theory. a man about to propose
goes to the city or town library and
asks for the last edition Of Golfers Of
Marriage for New York state or Maine
OF California OF Wisconsin, as the case
may be. There it stands, alongside of
the directory, the census report, the
"Solid Men of Gotham, " and the other
works for which people pay 50 much
money in order that they may gain q
little knowledge Of their neighbor's af-
fairs, and our lover or suitor sits down
some three on four hundred cases, with
especial reference to queries two and
four, lie turns to the tabulated totals ut
the end of the book and deeply nedi-
tates over the style Of proposal most often
successful, and the reasons why certain
other styles did not succeed.
Two hundred and sixty-four thousand
men were refused between the months
Of January and December, 1891. OF
these seyenty-eight used an identical
form in making their offer; in fact, so
identical form as to suggest that it
was taken out of some manual like
'tCcurting Made Easy"
How TO Woo Widow"
Forty Methods Of Popping the Ques-
tion,1
Nothing Venture, Nothing Have" or
1.-The Handbook of Courtship.'
OF course the student makes a memo
randuln, mental or in his notebook, that
he will on no account 90 about his er-
rand in that style Then he studies the
successful cases, but here finds u most
bewildering variety, and selecting a few
specimens he turns to the cases referred
to, as, for instance. when among the
successful offers lie reads:
PUT it on if you want it, and turn
ing to the case reads:
Mary Jones, born Mary Smith, states
that she has only received one offer Of
marriage. This was from Samuel jones,
who calling upon her one evening, took
a ring-goId band set with three imita-
tion pearls-out of his waistcoat pocket
and showing it to her said: See here,
this is an engagement ring. Deponent
replied: Well, what of it,
s.Whereupon Jones handed it to her,
saying, Put it on if you want it, which
was, as she considers, his offer. She ac-
cepted because She wanted to marry
somebody. and liked him as well as any
body else.
Finding this form little crude our
student reads the next report, which
runs thus:
'sBirdie Bowers, born Birdie Lowering
states that she has received .forty-leven'
offers, and would repeat as many Of
them as the auditor cared to hear, but
that Toffy, as she calls her husband,
only said:
g 'Itty Birdie want to be Toffy's ownie
Birdie? Div him tweety tweety tiss,
den.'
s'She accepted him because he was the
cunningest old darling she ever saw, and
she loves him dearly"
That's little too soft for me, +" com
ments the student. and tries another.
kate March, born Kate Burr, says
she will 60 to prison for contempt oi
court or pay fine or anything else the
auditor has power to infict, but az foT
going back on the men she has refused,
she won't do it. The only offer she ever
accepted was Tom March's, and the way
he made it was in driving, when he said
"'Don't you think, Kate, you and
might drive pleasantly in double har-
ness. to which she replied:
" I dare say, if YOU didn't undertake
to make it tandem team, with youi
own horse on the lead. And they were
engaged. She accepted him because she
liked him.
"Too horsey for me, remarks the stu
dent, and tries another.
"Angela LOTUS, born Angela Airey.
says she had two offers. The firxt was
from Tom March, who said, when she
had been singing Swing Low, Sweet
Chariot, to linn one Sunday evening;
+" Say, Angie, let me drive that sweet
chariot, and you 20 passenger Angie
thought this irreverent and said no, but
she did not suppose she was going 10
drive the poor man to despair and make
him marry Kate Burr, as he did, iii three
weeks. As for Mr.. LOTUS, he was hel
Clergyman, and when she knew that
Tom was engaged she felt so sorry and
afraid that she had done wrong that she
went to her clergy about it, and he took
her by the hand and said:
Angelina, you are worthy Of q
higher destiny than to marry Tom
March. BE the partner Of my soul
Angelina
ssAnd she said she would, because sht
thought 1t right to do as her minister
said. "
Next comes
Elizabeth B. Bullion, born Elizabeth
TattersalI Had no other real offer *