Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-05-05
THE REAL LOBBYIST.
THE WOMEN ARE NUlSANCES JUST
THE SAME AS THE MEN ARE.
There Has Been Great Deal of Romance
Circulated About the Lobbyists, and 1t
Is Time That the Truth Was Known.
The Real Thing Is Very Disappointing.


The Real Thing Is Very Disappointing.
"Show me lobbyist was the request
of friend who was walking through
the Capitol with the writer. This visitor
was a reader of the newspapers, man
of intelligence, and a believer in most of
the interesting stories he had read about
the number, ingenuity, boldness, skill
and usefulness of the body of lobbyists
that is supposed to be almost necessary
part of the legislative machinery.
l showed my visitor a lobbyist. He
was one of the best known of the lot
about the Capitol. He was leaning back
against the corridor wall, opposite the
entrance of the house of representatives,
with his hands thrust into the pockets of
pair of trousers that were so raveled
about the heels that they might be sale
to wear whiskers without provoking the
remonstrances of the most thorough de-
tester of slang.
If this man had an overcoat it was
hung up somewhere, but the dusty con-
dition of his rather thin frock coat,
W
ought to have been on his very disrepu-
table looking shoes, justified the conclu-
sion that he was not finding an overcoat
necessary this winter. He was spare
man, with gaunt face, crossed by
white mustache stained at the ends with
tobacco juice. His shirt was not clean,
and he showed good deal of it, but he
wore white tie, which only added en-
phasis to his otherwise foruidding lack
of neatness. When he moved away
from his place against the wall to meet
member of congress who had come out
of the chamber upon the call of one of
the doorkeepers to see him, his gait was
a slouching one, and he might have been
mistaken for any other loafer about the
hall if he had not been so much more re-
pulsive than the others.
My friend was disappointed. He
could not understand when | told him
that this man was one of the best of the
lot of lobbyists about the Capitol, that
he had been a member of congress, that
he was, therefore, entitled to the privi-
lege of the floor, and that the house of
representatives has never yet had the
sense to makes its rules so strong as to
keep out this man and several others
just like him who are well known to be
nothing more than strikers and lobbyists
who linger here to pick up odd jobs to
help them hang on to a miserable exist
ence. They do not, one ought to be
thankful, thrive as they are popularity
supposed to do. If the public knew what
a mistake the professional lobbyist is
they would be driven to saving wood or
working ON the railroads, or into doing
some other useful and laborious busi-
ness.
Then l showed my friend another lob
byist. This was thin, sliding fellow,
with gray close beard, who toed in as
he walked quickly along the passage,
and who glanced furtively about as he
went, as if watching to pounce down
upon some one. This man was not an
ex-member of congress; but he had
been an employee of the house many
years ago, and had been caught taking
money to enable corporation to reach,
through the door of which he had
charge, the men who were to be pur-
chased to get through a subsidy bill.
He was dismissed, and he at once went
into the service of the corporation that
had led to his disgrace.
He is in that employment still, and he
associates with great many senators
and representatives who do not know, or
have forgotten that others know, his
odious history. He is an errand runner
and sneaking watcher of members
who are to be encouraged to vote this
way or the other ON bills to be reported
or killed. He would buy member
without hesitation if it were safe to buy
him, but he is cautious. He finds out
his venal man before taking any risks.
He is not ingenious, nor is he bold. He
follows the instructions of the corpora
tions that keep him here, and he gets off
in the course of the year very well in
deed if he does not get kicked out of
gentleman's house more than half
dozen times.
The female lobbyist is, generally
speaking, a myth. The women who
come to the Capitol as promoters of the
bills for pensions or for claims, come on
their own account, and the only skill
they exhibit is that which consists in so
persistently bothering the members who
have introduced their bills for them that
they undertake to have them passed in
order to get rid of terrible Affections.
The marvellous woman of charming
manners that cannot be resisted is to be
found only in the syndicate stories. The
women who undertake to promote legis-
lation are, almost without exception,
bunglers and failures. Few women
know enough about the ways of legisla-
tion or the ways of the Legislators to
qualify them to undertake lobby work
or to approach members to direct their
actions, except by the most vulgar spe-
cies of blackmail made possible by con-
tributory immortality.
Generally speaking, the lobbyist is
fraud and an unnecessary nuisance. He
exists mainly because most people do
not know anything about the methods
eff legislation, and because nearly every
body interested in bill not public be-
lieves that the lobbyist is creature who
can tide over difficulties and remove
u L