The morning news., 1892-03-13

sweet and noble actions perfectly silly.
L suppose they enjoy life.
wouldn't vouch for this. II ever
they do break loose they hecone per-
feet avalanohes. and during Lent scrub the
church steps for the sake of religion, and
afterward almost publicly caress some we'll.
known lion iu the narae OF art The Ply
mouth Rock presses heavily upon them, and
1t seems TO have squeezed out the sweet
syrup of womanliness and left in its place
the sour vinegar OF semi knowledge.
THE GIRL oF THE METROPOLIS.
About the New York girl like her, but
don't love her. She is kind, amusing and
daring. Her kindness. however, is often
the result of policy, aud therefore one must
not value it too much. The fit Of her gowns
commands your respect, but you would
rather she would not devote so much time
and thought to them. She can entertain q
man better than any of the other girls, but
it's too apt 60 be any man, and not just one
man. Ii she marrIes she makes a good
hOuseSeepsr and she's stunning" wife. ]
don't like that word. but its one that
must be applied to her. She talks
50 well and so much that half the men
in New York look like fools because
she won't allow them time to prove they
are anything else. She is not afraid TO dis
cuss anything; she gets In the way of talk
ing things that are not quite nice entirely
as q matter of course. Sne will not hesi-
tate to tell you about some man who's
awfully mashed" on a married woman,
and she will laugh heartily at southern
girls look Of wonder at the existence OF
such things. She's a good mother, in a way.
She dresses Der children sensibly, and sees
that the drainage in the house is correct;
she don't believe in cuddlIng them il they
happen to hurt themselves, for that hap
pens to strike her as nonsense.
WHAT NEW YORK GIRLS LACK.
She hasn't enough gentleness. There are
few oldfashioned words that will never
apply to her. one of them has bee much
vulgarized; it is "high-toned;" think it over,
and you will see exactly what 1t means.
Now. she's not that; she's too low
in her tone, and there will never
come to her that perfect elegance Of man.
ner. carriage aud richness of heart that
was meant years ago when this
word was used. like her, but l couldn't, il
[ had some great sorrow, lay bare my
heart and expect q great sympathy from
her. If | wept bitterly because of my grief
the Boston girl would analyze my tears
for me. and think that what had come
TO me was not real grief
but only the natural SUCCESSION OF
events The western girl would put heI
you will only make your nose red and Youi
mourning dress has come home and looks
perfectly lovely" But the southern girl
would lean her face cIese to mine, hold my
hand, look at me with eyes full of sympathy
say nothing. and yet make me feel happier
o, dear o, dear! What lot I've said abou
girls, hut If you don't like it, blame what
Marie Jansen said aud the signt Of Henry
Watterson's daughter for it.
TRACTS FOR PUBLIC MEN.
Did you ever write a tract? There seem
to be no end to the making Of them. and a
to the givers of them-well, you can i'm
agine what state of enthusiasm they reacl
when | tell you my entire French librar,
was, during my absence, filed with tract
by an impertinent old trump. | sent then
down to the kitchen range. as l considered
that the proper place for them. Still
if tracts we're really personal there nigh
be much good in them. Just try writing
out few to your friends and see how they
work.
Fancy one going to Chauncey Depew en-
titled: Beware Of the dinner tablet will
lead you to the doctors"
titled, "Adore not thy beauty; think of thu
sort of skull thou wouldst make"
Fancy one going to Carmencita entitled
"Beware of the dance; thou wilt whirl thy
self into hell"
Fancy one going to Herbert Kelcey en-
titled, "Man, beware of falling in love will
thyself; thou art but flesh, and wilt decay.
Fancy one going TO Grover Cleveland en-.
titled, "Beware Of ambition; by this grea
kings have fallen"
Fancy one going to Senator Hill saying
"Iake unto thyself mate; it is the duty o
man to increase and multiply"
Fancy one going to Ward McAllister say
ing, Thou soughtest glory at the kitchen
door, and yet even the cooks are laid out IL
coffins."
Fancy one going to jockey entitled, "Ht
that pulleth his horse will surely ride him tC
the land of damnation."
Fancy one going to q bookmaker entitled
"Tnou art not straight in thy dealing! The
worm that wriggles will eat thee up"
Fancy one going to pugillst entitled
| HE that striketh out with the fist will surely
| be knocked down.
Fancy one going to Mayor Grant enti
tied, ''Thou madest promises tending t.
clean streetsl DCst thou art, and unto tn
vilest dirt thou wilt returnw
Fancy one going to Tammany ball en-
titled, "Be brave, be brave; be not ovel
braven
Fancy one going to a dressmaker entitled
"Thou liar Thou shall pay III the here
dLC6F, III DuIuauR utos AOA buo uduOAB OAlis
thou hast rendered to thy debtors here"
Fancy one going to a small
woman, who earns her jam b,
the sweat of the typewriter
entitled, "Write to please everybody! Else
the editors here will cut you off the list. anC
the editors hereafter will not even permi
you to enter the hades where they will be
but will say, If you want to see her she i
out there sitting on the fence, betweeI
| ~
devil quarreling about her, and her mann
| ;s BARI