The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-05-14
CRY OF A CYNIC.
SNEERS STRUNG TOGETHER LIKE
LINKS OF BOLOGNA SAUSAGE.
An Old Timer at the Capital Makes u Few
Disparuging Remarkable Shows Up
the Weaknesses Of Alleged Great Men.
Especial Correspondence.

the "eaknebaes Oh .hiieseu Oreat ueh'
Pertinent Personalities Piquantiy Put.
Especial Correspondence
WASHINGTON, May 5.-The comment
of a genuine cynic on men and things at
the national capital. That would be a
novelty. wouldn't it? | confess that as a
rule | do not like cynicism. Too much
of it is very depressing, very tiresome.
l avoid cynics, because they are uncom-
Portable persons to get along with, and
their preaching is so cheerless. Too fire.
quent contact with them is likely to
cause one to lose faith in his fellow man.
and that would be a calamity. But the
other day | CHANGED to be in the CONF
pany Of IA distinct and emphatic speci-
men of the genus cynic. He is an old
timer about the Capitol, and on this &C.
casion was pointing out to Il mutual
friend of his and mine the persons and
points of interest, with comments pecul-
iarly his OWL. His remarks We're a
string of sneers strung together like the
links of a bologna sausage, but such
snappy, gossipy sneers that | am tempt
ed to repeat some of them, even at the
risk of offending some of my best
friends.
I'VE will stay here only "a few min
utes." began our mutual friend the Gym
ic, as the stranger in town and myself
sat down in the gallery overlooking the
senate chamber. This old hole fills me
full of WEAKNESS. Lot of old dodgers
who have stumbled into Office or bought
their way in sitting around here trying
to look wise and appear statcsmanlike.
Yes, that's Morton in the chair. Does
pretty well as a presiding officer now,
but you should have seen him when he
first came down here. Had to be coached
by Ingalls, and Edlnunds. like a school
boy speaking his first piece on declama-
ton day. Made some awful breaks. too,
and used to be afraid 20 call his soul his
own till Edmunds aud Ingalls, gave him
Il deed to it.
"Do you know who it is that Har-
rison is most afraid Of: Not Cleve.
land. not Blaine, not Palmer nor Cor
man nor Bob Lincoln, but his own son,
Russell Harrison. Why is he afraid of
Rus: Thinks Rus will get into some
scrape that will be used against him in
the campaign. Rus isn't as bad II fellow
as he has been painted, but he is un-
lucky, always getting into some diff
Guilty or other, like Peck's bad boy. His
pa lives in holy terror of him.
There's John Sherman. Great old
man. But too selfish. Won't help any
body to anything unless he can see
where it is going to help John Sherman
to something by and by. But for this
fault he would have been president long
ago. Shame that IA great old man like
Sherman has to go out to Ohio, whose
public servant he has been for a third of
a century, and fight for reelection to
the senate. That's the way with pol
itics-the coolest blooded business of
these modern times.
Look at Cullom. See how he tries
to look like Lincoln. Clever man, Gull
lom is, but lacks sand. Gives up and
runs too quick. Conciliates his enemies
and loses his friends. He's hard up for
cash all the time, and is too honest to
make money in politics. venture the
prediction that in less than two years
he'll follow the example of his friend
Edmunds and retire from the senate,
and get into something at which he can
make IA little money. That's Allison
sitting behind him. Fine looking old
chap, isn't he? He's the smoothest man
in the senate. You have heard how In
gals called him the purring cat. But
that's only in private conversation
When he makes a speech he is a roaler
"a declaimer about little things, Il
rhetorician over inconsequentialities.
An awfully clever fellow though.
That's Hale-'Bub' Hale, we call
him-sitting next to Allison. He is
known to fame chiefly as Blaine's friend
| wonder what he will do after Blaine
dies? You see Frye down in front? He
is a pretty good senator, but a better
fisherman. He would rather catch fish
than be president of the United States.
Every spring, as soon AS the ice is out of
the trout streams up in Maine, he starts
for the north. You couldn't hold him
in Washington with Il cable chain. In
the back row you see Senator Stanford.
Doesn't know anything but horses. If
the senate was a breeders convention he
would be the principal man in it. Has
given up his absurd ambition to be a can
didate for president and has come out
for Harrison.
1.-The baldheaded mar is Cush Davis,
of Minnesota, husband of the beautiful
Mrs. Davis, and a brilliant man, but l
guess the LATEST one in the senate. The
one with the short, blond mustache is
Ed Wolcott, the widest boy in the SEN
ate chamber, the most independent
and reckless fellow we have had here in
many years. True as steel, fearless as
the devil himself and absolutely without
caution or tact. Eloquent as Cicero in
defense of free silver, which he wouldn't
believe in if he didn't live in a free sill.
yer state.
THAT bushy headed man walking in
the rear of the seats is Cal Brice. Smart
est man in America. Smart in business,
in politics, in everything. Nice fellow
to talk to, likes his friends, helps them
when they don't ask for too much.