Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1892-07-22

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& re- TALKING with IN old West
1ndlan ex-pladtsr, amau not Ions past
his thfee-scoee yesrs and ten, WIN
Ieft Jauiaica somewhere IN the '6O&I
says { writer in tho Louisville Com.
mesclal:
II SEQ" said he. There IL some
talk OF raising Sir John Macd0nald's
widow to the poerage, II 1t should
prove true she will be the 0rst native
West Indian to come In for such an
honor, at least In . great number at
years Indeed, / do not remember
thSt the thing has ever happened be.
tose, although Cowan, the composer.
who received = baronetcy some time
ago VA, like Lady Macdonald's widow,
. native Of Jamaica. Yea" he con.
tinued, II remember her father we'll
Monkey Bernard they used to call
him, aud probably no white man, ex
cept Charles Darwin himself, the
apostle Of the monkey ancestral busi-
ness, EVER moro closely resembled an
ape In the face. There was q young
buck, however, who had q narrow
escape from paying dearly for his
laugh at Bernardo physiognomy.
John X. THAT vas not his name,
but 1t will do a. we'll as any other)
was walking along Port Royal street,
Kingston, tlne morning when q
crowd OF Idle negroes attracted hts
attention. The center 0 famusemcnt
proved to be . good-sized ape. which a
Spanish sailor held by q rope fastened
around his body. X was at once
struck by tho likeness-so he told me
afterward-to Bernard, and the result
was that he then and there handed
v two gold doubloons to the sailor
and became the proprietor Of this
living caricature. bernard was q
large planter and q man of some
wealth and held q Majors commits
sion In the Jamaica militia The
fates 50 willed 1t that there was q
grand inspection Of the militia ap-
pointed to be held within q few weeks
after this geological investment Of
KS, and the father OF the mischief
prompted him to avail himself'of the
occasion for an act Of the most out
rageous deyilmcnt.
HE had the ape fitted with a COM
plete suit Of regimentals, such as
worn by the major In the Jamaica
militia bought q little tin sword, and
spent hours In training the brute to
walk upright with the drawn sword In
hts right hand. The secret was we'll
kept until the day OF the review.
Crowds OF negroes surrounded the race
course just outside of Kingston, where
the troops were to march past. Pres
emily Bernard's regiment marched on
the ground and wheeled into line. At
the same moment there was q shout
from hundreds Of lusty negro throats
'Lookoo, Monkey Bernardo" and KS
ape, brilliant In scarlet and white,
with its tin sword well shOuldered
strutted out toward the ranks. !
suppose that, with the exception Of
Bernard himself, there was not a man
on that ground who was not %convulsed
with laughter. The military eyolu.
tions had to wait until the ape had
been r%ecaptured by KS groom.
THE duel had not quite gone out
OF fashion In those days, or at any
rate. not in Jamaica OF course,
apology would have been ridiculous,
SO X. had to accept Demands chal-
lenge. The weapons Is was usual
with us, was the ole. fashioned,
singled. barreled dueling pistol. The
principals had tho right OF .reserving
their tire'-that is, though they might
not fire until the word was given,
either Of them might take time
after the word was given to aim
more deliberately. X was an &C.
complished duellst, but ! suppose
he saw the enormity OF flrst lab0ri-
ously insulting an unoffcnding man
and then shooting him. Otherwise I
can't account for his missing Bernard
as he did, for, II I remember right.
the distance was only twenty PAGES.
Bernard reserved his fire. Then, with
his pistol still pointing to the ground,
he said to X, who was quietly await
ing the event: Young man, I am
not going to take your life, but ! will
teach you what l could do II ! felt In
clined.'
TX. was standing closed to a tree
on which q ripe lime fruit hung
within . yard Of his head. Bernard
raised his pistol, and with the bullet
cut that fruit from the branch it
hung on. II anyone ever deserved to
bear the motto handsome is as hand
some does, 1t was Monkey Bernard
and I think from and after that day
he and oil bis family ought to have
been proud of hisnickname."
"What became of the ape?"
Il forgot what befel that famous
ape," said my old friend, 'sbut the
pistols they used-a pair-have found
their way, I believe, like Bernard's
daughter, to Canada"
He Licked Crazy.
A goat has often put q man ut q