Waterbury evening Democrat., 1892-03-03
WHAT IS WITT

ton yet known, and he confesses that ''often 1t consisteth in one hardly knows what" He says, in his oldsfashioned style:
 Sometimes it lieth in . pat allusion to a known story, or in seasonable ap- plication of trivial saying, or in forg- ing an opposite tale Sometimes it playeth in words and phrases, taking advantage from the ambiguity of their sense or the affinity of their sound; sometimes 1t lurlxeth under an odd sim ilitude; sometimes 1t is lodged in a sly question, in smart answer, In qutrk- ish reason, in Q shrewd intimation, tart irony, a lusty hyperbole or start ling metaphor; sometimes presumptu- ous bluntness giveth it being. Some times 1t arises from lucky hitting upon what Is strange; sometimes from a crafty wrestling of obvious matter to the purpose"
 Isn't this excellent2 Study this clause and find a witticism to match it have not given the entire definition, but just enough to stimulate some one to look 1t up for himself And here are few off hand illustrations that come to me as write:
 All Ghlu0hO OCOICA AA0A HUH pened to dine with some learned law yers of the Edinburg bar. He appropri- ated to himself a large dish of crosses, upon which he fed voraciously. Erskine, | wishing to admonish him for his dis | courtesy, remarked: Doctor, you remind me of Nebuchad- nezzar in his degradation" Just as this pat allusion was causing l Of fysNua hn 1aro1 linhfo the reverend vegetable eater retorted:
 "Ay, do mind yeo' Nebuchadnezzar? | Doubtless because I am eating among the brutes"
 The "sly question" is often extremely effective. Sheridan, who was always | distressed for money, was one day hack ing his face with a dull razor, when he turned to his eldest son and said:
 Tom, if you open any more oysters with my razor I'll cut you off with a shilling"
 "Very we'll, father" said Tom, but where will you get the shilling?"
 At dinner party in England the host introduces to the favorable notice of the company, amid murmurs of admira- ton, splendid truffied pheasant.
 Isn't it a beauty?" he says. "Dr. l OO-duO-SO RhNC ~ LO Ei4CS hAAACO 1O h4AAA- self"
 "Aw-what was he treating it for?" says one of the guests "A smart answer" is quite as good when unpremeditated. "I could write like Shakespeare if had a mind to-" said Wadsworth to Lamb.
 "Yes, if you had mind to-" was Elias quick reply.
 ''Do you see anything ridiculous in this wig?' said pompous little judge to Curran.
 Nothing but the head was the re. ply.
 The ''quirkish reason" is nearly allied to these.
 . And Abbe Bolleau being asked why he always wrote in Latin, took pinch
 of snuff and answered gravely:
 Why, foR fear the bishops shoNld read mel"
 Sheridan gave rather a shrewd inti. nation to spinster who insisted upon accompanying him in a walk after g summer shower; . : "It has cleared up enough for one madam, but not enough for two" The 'lusty hyperbole" suggests one l , Having grown corpulent in his old age
 and adverse to exercise, his physician advised him to ride on horseback. He consented to do SO Accordingly, 6 |, large, lofty trotter was led to the dool 3 and the venerable ex-president mounted. He rode down the avenue tc the street at a smart trot, then wheeled
 and returned. Being asked if he die not intend to ride any further. he re
 piled:
 No! l would as soon ride Noun } Ararat in an earthquake" Diogenes indulged in tart irony I when, observing over the door of { schoolroom this inscription. Let nC deceiver enter here" he quietly asked
 ''How does the teacher go in?"
 Almost all of Dr. Johnson's witt cism comes under the head of ''pre sumptuous bluutness, One of his rough repartees has beer = put in rhyme by Peter Pindar: In Lincolnshire lady showed our friend A grotto that she wished him to commend. { Quoth she, How cool in summer this abode.
 Yes, madam" answered Johnson, flor
 toad
 For a startling metaphor" take Syd 8 ney Smiths; when he saw little gir t stoop down and stroke the shell of a turtle.
 Why are you doing that Belle?' h. , asked.
 ITO please the turtle."' My child, you might as well strox l the dome of St Pauls to please tn e dean and chapter" t I will give one instance of the eve - ready wit of Dr. Barrow himself Meet
 ing the earl of Rochester one day tn
 witty peer exclaimed: My lord, an y yours to the shoetie." + To which the clergyman replied: "NI, a lord, am yours to the ground" }. The peer continued Doctor, an f yours to the center" o My lord" retorted the doctor II an
 yours to the antipodes.'' Determined not to be outdone by Z parson. hi. lordship said; ..Doctor l nr