Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-01-20
She Wouldn't Have Him.

iho Shiro onorb Lhnc pdSscnBor
from Paducah had very heavy load
of excursionists Sunday, returning
home from Kentucky, where they had
been spending the Fourth. Among
the number was dapper little man
from st. Louis, whose name is with
held because it would add nothing to
this Ger true story. He was very
sweet, at least his vanity told him so.
The dude sported lavender pants, a
black silk tennis shirt, a fashy tie,
and wore No. 6. beaver hat. Like
all of his kind, this dude had mania
for breaking hearts, and made him
self conspicuous by ogling all the
ladies on the train and by loud re-
marks drawing attention to himself.
His forte, though, was promenade
made at the various stations where
the train pulled up. Then he was in
his element, as he minced along the
platform or took up an artistic pose,
as much as to say, "Look at me, amt
l sweet ?" When he approached a
woman, be she black or white, this
foolish dude had some insane witticism
to crack at her expense.
This conduct continued till the train
reached station this side of Pinck-
neyville, ILL.,, where long halt was
made. Here was the dudes oppor-
tunity, here he surpassed all previous
effors in his role as a railway masher,
and here, alas, he was overtsken by
vengeance.
On the platform stood an old gray
headed gentleman, with strongly
marked features, and by his side q
modest girl of seventeen years, neatly
and becomingly dressed. They were
evidently father and daughter. The
natty little dude spied them as soon as
the train pulled in. Here was his
opportunity, of which he quickly
availed himself. Accompanied by
three companions he walked slowly
past the couple, making some remark
as he reached them. The girls cheeks
crimsoned and an ominous frown
gathered on the fathers brow. Un-
awares of their danger the quartet
proceeded to the station saloon and
gleefully quaffed their soda, after
which each lighted a cigarette and re-
traced theft steps to the train. again
having to pass the father and daugh-
ter. Whether the soda flew to the
dudes head and made him more reck-
less than usual, or whether the fact
that the girl was so modest and
shrinking that he thought her lawful
game, and as her only protector was an
old man, no danger was apprehended,
the st. Louis dude grew bolder as he
approached the couple, and turning 10
companion said, "This girl says she
won't have me-"
In moment the old gentleman
reached forward and grasped the
surprised masher, by the neck, say
ing: mo, by gum, but her father
will" and then proceeded TO mop the
platform with his dudeship. Back
and forth the natty little dude was
dragged, his lavender pants split up
the leg, his silk shirt torn, while his
handsome beaver was hopelessly
crushed, as though SO much paper.
Then, turning him around, the old
gentleman planted No. 10 squarly
and fairly at the base of the dudes
spinal column, elevating the little
man into the air and landing him off
the platform a helpless and a hope
less wreck. His three valiant com.
panions had fed at the first onslaught
of the old man, but the 400 or 500
passengers gave him such an ovation
as seldom falls on the lot of mortal,
the cars fairly rolling under the ap-
plause so heartily bestowed.
His dudeship dragged himself away,
sober if not wiser man. Where
he hid himself no one knew, but he
was not seen again until the cars
reached the Union Depot, when he
was detected limping painfully be-
tween standing train, vending his
weary way to the nearest street car
line. .-Globe Democrat.