The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-03-10

| able bodied man except aliens, who resided In
4 the County, had been compelled 10 enrol him
| self either as loyal or disloyal IL he enrolled
| as loyal, he was subject TO DO ordered into &C
tive militia service. and If enrolled as disloy al,
| he WAS liable TO special assessment. Under
these circumstances il made but little differ
ence 20 a majority Of our citizens which horn
| OF tho dilemma they chose, as il WAS a losing
game i'm either case whether they served in
! the militia or paid assessments
However, there were some calculating minds
who conceived tho idea of enrolling As loyal.
and when ordered out for duty TO furnish =
substitute "a la Cleveland" and in eOnse-
4 qucnce Of this expediency, militia substitutes
soon became in great demari, 50 that their
/ price ranged from $500 TO 800 each.
! Ii seems that the Adiutaut Of a militia regi-
ment was charged with the duty to pass upon
/ the qualifications Of these substitutes, hence,
! those who We're ready 10 become substitutes re-
| ported themselves to him. and by the liberal
4 application Of division and silence, many
| physical defects were covered up and the fell
/ low accepted as sound and qualified. When
| the supply Of substitutes ran short, ne managed
! TO have some one TO be discharged or relieved
/ from duty and then re-enter him as substitute
/ for another man. The oftener this process
was gone through with, the more money was
realized by these individuals.
Among those who were accepted rs substitutes
I
/ Henneberg. Physical defects lhernia) entitled
him 10 exemption papers, but he answered as
/ substitute because he made a liberal division
/ with the officer. who kept tho lions share Of
the bonus In fact, Frank had. in a very short
! time, been entered for three different persons
aud found the life Of a militia man to be both
| pleasant aud profitable.
However, Frani; was somewhat Of a philOso-
/ pher, and had ample time to reason to his own
/ satisfaction that his services were worth as
/ much IS that Of the Adiutauts who got the
! largest part hence. when BIO was again in de-
/ mand as a substitute (having been relieved
| from duty for that purpOse) he put the $500
/ which he got for his last entry into his pocket
/ and refused 10 give more than $50 10 the officer
who had managed tho business thus far. The
result Of Franks actions proved disastrous to
| him, rs Instead OF being permitted 10 remain
/ in camp doing little or nothing, he was re-
quirei 10 stand guard night after night, some
/ thing that Frank did not relish at all, and
/ which gave him much concern.
Frank sought a remedy, and he found It,
| One night while on guard in f no Of the camp
/ he noticed his tOTmentOr, the Adjutant, in
company with his, Colonel, approaching the
4 entrance. lie Immediately challanged them.
4 and they replied: why, Frank this il me-"
| and proceeded toward the entrance. But Frank
/ said: - don't know me-" and commanded
I them TO halt The officers took it for joke,
/ and proceeded, when bang! went Franks old
muskct and a bullet whistled over the heads Of
/ tho badly scared officers.
The alarm brought out tho Sergeant Of the
| Guard, aud the trembling militia heroes were
! admitted. a consultation between them re-
suited IN reaching conclusion that Frank was
a dangerous guard, as they frequently were out
late At night, hence they directed that he
should no longer be placed on guard duty, but
| should be detailed IS cook. Frank did not like
& H. "A. - L. a.
| man, aud declared that he knew less about
cooking than about standing guard, but his
/ protest was IN vain. he was doomed to don the
/ apron and 10 be ready TO cook the next dinner.
When the Commissary Sergeant brought q
| supply 20 him he sent word 10 the Adiutant re-
questing instructions what 10 do with il, whose
| reply was g. 81: tell him 10 cook il in the
| big kettle" Frank said "All right, I'll obey
orders; and. after filling the kettle with water
he empted the entire cOmmissaTy stores, iu-
Guiding nnground coffee, candles, and soap, with
the bacon aud potatoes, into the kettle and kept
up good iro till dinner-time.
At the usual signal the men marched into
the dining-rOOm and the cOntraband walters
began 10 serve boiled bacon and soup, but no
sooner had the men tasted the broth than they
began 10 look for Frank, but Frank was gone
no explanation could DO obtained from him.
hence the kettle was explored. and candle
wick and the other ingredients which were
found soon disclosed the incipiency Of Franks
culinary attainments.
After some days search for the "cOok " he
was found, but claimed that be suddenly had
taken sick bat. sick or not sick, Frank was
placed IA the guard-house, a couFt-maTtisl was
summoned. and his trial resulted in convieting
him OF conduct unbecoming miiItiaman, etc,
and his punishment was fixed, first, that his
head be shaved, aud, second, that he be marched
| by the music OF the ROgue's March through the
| principal streets out Of town.
This sentence was carried out 10 the letter,
| and 10 the great amusement Of the boys who
| furnished the escort or were spectators Of the
| procession, with Frank as the principal attrac-
/ ton. Frank not only reached the suburbs Of
| the town but continued his march till he found
a more hOsp!table shelter with friendly
| farmer some miles away from town.
After the war was over Frank delighted to
tell Of his exploits and after detailing the par
ticulars 20 the amount Of money no made,
would say, I3y golly, did not care to DO a
| substitute any longer aud got free shave, but
| kept my money!. BESECKE, Co. II, 18th No.,
aud 20. ], 18th No, brunswick, Mo.