Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-12-19
JUST FOR FUN.
A

Ieach0r-''W naU are bne TWO cdpl
tails of Rhode Island?" Smart Scholar
promptly =" r and IL
The Poetic We godsl tell me what
rhymes with 'mop?u The editor
Overwhelming HIM Stop
GLOW would you define the word
'crank'?n ga crank, my dear sir, is a
specialist in something that you take
no interest inn
When other remedies fail to relieve coughs
and colds, DR. BULBS Cough Syrup will effect g
| permanent cure. Obviously because it is the
best remedy.
Maid Servant-Professor, 0 profes
sorl Just think, have swallowed a
pin! Absent minded Professor
mind, here is another one.
In private letter to the editors of
! a magazine the editor of the Billville
Banner describes Chaucer as "the
most talented dialect writer of his
age"
"No, Mr.. Gilgal," she said kindly.
"I am sure could never learn to love
YOU" "Oh, maybe you could" re-
joined Gilgal cheeringly. s'Never too
old to learn, you know"
Mrs. Cilly-You are terrible man,
doctor. 1 believe you think women
have no brains at all. Dr. Sharpen
You are mistaken, madam; I have
seen them at autopsies.
E. Genseuleiter, Liveryman, Pittsburg, Pa,
cured a valuable horse of influenza by using
Salvation Oil on him for few days.
81 wrote three letters this morn
ing" he said, with the air of man
who had accomplished much. "Ah,
indeed! responded the young woman.
"What were they? I o U?'
Travelling some time since in Switz-
erland, tousist remarked upon the
beautiful scenery, when a fellow tour
ist Gan old LADY, replied, eyes, but it's
a pity those mountains hide the view.'
"Poets are born, not made" A rea-
sonable proposition. Nobody would
be SO foolish as to continue the man
ufacture Of an article when the sup
ply was already greater than the de-
mand.
Lady-Bridget, why did you tell the
two ladies who just called that was
engaged? Bridget Shure, mum, and
didn't l read the bit of letter that
yez left on your desk yesterday that
told it all?''
The reason why Arnica & Oil Liniment is so
popular with the ladies is because it not only
is very healing and soothing but it's odor is
not at all offensive.
Visitor-Why, how you are grow
ing, Tommy! If you don't look out
you will be getting taller than your
father. TOMMY don't care if do.
I'll get even then. Pop'N have to wear
my old pants cut down for him.
you failed in business. ''"Yes, strug
gled hard, but l lost every thing, save
my honor, thank God, and the prop
erty was wise enough to settle on
my wife when found myself getting
into trouble"
Mr.. Pannicky I shan't take one of
DR.. Emdee's prescriptions to a drug
store again, without reading it, in a
hurry. What's the trouble? Mr.. Pan
nicky-I wanted cholera preventive,
and he simply wrote, Don't read the
newspapers.
Prof Barrett of st. Lawrence county N. Y,
speaking of pulmonary diseases, says: not
one death occurs now where twenty died be-
fore Downs Elixir known. Over fifty
years of constant success places Downs Elk
ir at the head of the long list of cough RENEE
dies.
"There's whole string of men go
ing along the street without sign of
on.' "Where, where?" "See
'em right over there. But what are
you getting excited about? You don't |
think the people Of this town are all
sandwich men, carrying clothes signs,
do your"
l beg your pardon, said the cheeky |
youth to the calm and austere maid |
en- in the Pullman, but think have |
seen you somewhere before. The maid
en- fixed freezing stare upon him.
think not, she replied severely;
have been there several times, but
only to pass through. Then he passed
on.
ALL SORTS.
Tanlev,s tsRread Winner, outuoors oil