Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-24

-@-@~
sprinIsIes Of Spice.
IT does not follow that man with
a husky voice IS corn doctor.-ctica
Observer.
IT is easy to understand why an
other man should not mind abuse. -
Atchison Globe.
PARENT-What branch viii make
a boy the smartest? Pedagogue--
Hickory.
KEEP a close eye on the man
whose wife is afraid to ask him for
money. Rams Horn.
IT is an odd fact that the duty OF
most missionaries is to go to the bad.
Philadelphia Record.
WHEN the Judge pronounces sem
tence the criminal Is apt not to think
much OF his pronunciation Bling
,hamton Leader.
ALL sorts OF vexations attend the
parlor matrimonial match. Even
the lamp is frequently put out over
it.-Binghamton Leader
THE "big guns" at the banquet are
those who are fred with eloqnence
so as to produce reports In the news
papers.-Washington Star.
"THE trouble with Sumner is he
runs his Jokes too far" Jasper
suppose that is why they always seem
so worn out.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
THE next thing a long-suffering
public learns will be the fact that gas
companies are putting pneumatic
tires on their gas meters. = Ohio
State Journal.
"DID you ever see Charley Tim
MINIS four-in-hand?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, sadly, Il saw
them last night. They were all aces"
Washington Star.
"THIs is the most dangerous coun-
terfeit l ever came across, remarked
the actor, as he felt the lath-and-
canvas bridge giving way under his
feet.-Indianapolis Journal.
VIsIToR-@Your son is in a drug
store,-I believer" Old Lady-"Yes,
studying flzzleology." Visitor-"I
beg pardon?" Old Lady-"He runs
the soda fountain. Detroit Free
Press.
SHE-"Must you &C soon, darling?
1t is only 10 o'clock, and father won't
object If you staid until r." He
"True, my own. But that only gives
me two hours in which to say good
night. Life.
Il SUPPOSE you visited some Of the
most famous galleries when you were
abroad?" Mrs. Quickrich-"Yes an
here is some tin-types me an Ezra
had took at one Of 'em."-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
SHALLow-"Why, just read that
sign-'Dental Parlors.' Isn't it alb
surd to call dental room parlor?"
Deepe-"It is probably the painters
mistake He meant drawing-room.
Boston Courier.
DOCTOR" asked the seeker after
knowledge of the clergyman, why
do people get on their knees to pray,
instead of standing?" "They want
to save their soles," responded the
clever minister. Life.
Il FELL into the pond to-day, and
it was up to my neck, " said Walter.
Nonsense" said Jack, "the water in
the pond isn't more than foot deep"
"Oh, but l went in head first" said
Walter -Harper's Young People.
WHATS the charge in this case?"
asked the. Judge That's what I'm
waitin' to find out, yer 'onn'r," re-
piled the prisoner. Il had the salts
faction of hittin' i'm, and I'm willin'
to pay any price that's in reason. -
Washington Star.
TRYING to please: Wife lin rail-
way train)-It's mortifying to have
you act so. Why don't you get up
and help that young lady raise that
window? Dutiful Hus5and-She's so
pretty was afraid you'd be mad
New York Weekly.
Mr.. TwINKs (bolding wishtone)-
What jer wishin' To-, Car'lin'? Miss
Clumpah-'Taint right fer ter tell,
but wants a sealskin sack pow'ful
bad. Whad's yo' wishin' fer? Mr..
Twinks-Ise jes' wishin' d. bOnel
brek on yo' side OBJ d. handles
Judge.
TEACHER (who has been explaining
the word epidemic)-Now, who can
give me the name of an epidemic
here in America? Remember, it is
something that spreads Tommy
(wildly waving his hand)-I know;
it's strawberry jam.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
EMPLoYER-See here, Mr.. Penn,
this is the fourth time in three
months have given you day off to
attend your sisters wedding. Don't
you think you ought to find new
excuse? Bookkeeper-But have
been telling the truth. Sister lives
in Chicago. Indianapolis Journal.