St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

II am very grateful, | added.
Don't mention it" she said.
I let it go at that | saw it was no
use New York Press.
NOT THE OFFICE HE WANTED.
'What's the matter with Glumm these
days that he looks so sour?"
"Things have gone wrong with him
lately. He has been trying to get up q
benefit club for some time and it was or
gained the other night, and they made
| him president"
"Well, wasn't that what he wanted?"
"No, he wanted to be treasurer. -
| New York Press
HAD SEEN BETTER DAYS.
Mr. Selit-Well, Uncle Eph, how are
are gettin' along these days.
Uncle Eph-Oh, I'm gettin' along fine.
It's a mighty poor day | don't make my
two or three dollars
Mr.. Sellit-Iou must be gettin' rich.
'Spose you pay me that little bill you
owe me.
Uncle Epll--We ell, you'll have to ex-
cuse me to-day Mr.. Sellit You see, I've
been havin' a lot of mighty poor days
ately.- Harper's Bazaar.
OFTEN LoNGED FOR.
Little Boy (pointing to window Of rub
Der store)-W hats them?
Mamma-Those are diving suits, made
all of rubber, so the diver won't get
| wet.
Little Boy wisht had one.
Mamma-Whv, what for, my dear?
Little Boy-To wear when you wash
MR.. MEEK CoUNrENANCE.
Little Terror-Mamma, Mr. Meek's
skin is as smooth as papa's. No marks
on it at all.
Mamma-Just hear the child, Mr..
Meeks. OF course there are no marks on
it, my pet.
Little Terror--But you said tho hens
had been pecking him New York
Weekly.
WHEN SHE FOUND OUT.
Before they wed he used to rave
About her voice of bird-like pitch.
Twas soft and mellow then, you know,
For she still funcied he was rich;
But when she knew the truth of it,
That they must eat both soup and
bone,
She changed the pitch, and now she
talks
In rich and heavy dark brown tone.
= New York Herald.
BEASTLy Low PLACE.
Chappie latter receiving the bill of
fare from the waiter-Let us get out of
heah.
ChoIIie-What faw?
Chappie-This is beastly low place
ChoIie-Iiow do you know?
Chappie-The bill of fa-ah is in Eng
fish, dontcherknow.
SAME OLD WAY.
Mr.. Hamm-How did the audiences
strike you out West this time, Fatter?
Mr.. Fatter-Same old way-with eggs.
NO GOOD REASON.
Pretty Cousin-Your friend Dr. Ian
Get passed me down town to-day without
even bow.
He-Oh well, you know he's awfully
absent minded. He's so completely de-
voted to his surgical practice.
Pretty Cousin-But that's no reason
why he should cut me- New York
Herald.
A NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
"Whv, Edwin exclaimed the fearful
bride, "you certainly told me before we
were married that you would gladly give
me all the pin money | wanted.
"Yes,' said Edwin, gloomily; g know
did; but | didn't suppose you meant
diamond pins = [Somerville Journal.
FRAGRANT FLOWERS.
Florist-Here take this cart load Of
flowers to the Highstyle Opera House"
New Manly essir. What shall |
"JrnIoad EN- at the front entrance, and
give EN- to the ushers to present to the
prima donna after the curtain falls on the
third act
''Yessir'
"Then reload 'em at the stage door
and bring 'em back again. = Good
News.
"What is the sweetest thing in all the
world?'
My sweetheart asked, then heaved a
tender sigh
And stole glance at me that plainly
said,
'Ill be offended if it is not |.
HANDY TOOL.
Mrs. BIinks-Where in the world is
Mr.. Blinks' revolver? | forgot to take it
from under his pillow this morning.
New Girl "a recent arrival Whats it
like, mum?
Its about so long, with crook at one
end, and it's bright like silver"
Il don't know, mum, unless it's that
thing little Tommy is hammerin' tacks
wild. . Good News.
MISS KATEs LITTLE JOKE.
They tell me you are happy
father"
"Yes.'
care you setting up the cigars?"
"No. I'm sitting up nights
A NEEDED EFFORT.
Charles I'm trying as hard as can,
darling, to get ahead.
Clara-Well, goodness knows. Charles,
you need one badly enough.
CAUSE FOR LAUGHTER.
Jessie-What are you laughing about.
Bessie--Before Chappie went away he
told me whenever felt sad to think of
him.