The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-01-11
HIS BIG BLUNDER.
Fought With the Walter for Being Invited
to the Captains Table.


Fought with the Walter for Being Invited
to the Captains Table.
He was pacing the promenade deck OF the
ocean steamer Majestic, 0ne Of his eyes
were blackened, and his red nose and
swollen features wore A carewOrn express
sion. The breeze played gently with the
tails of his long ulster, and he could scarcely
keep his feet. A sudden lurch of the ship
sent him sprawing on the deck in front Of
one Of the passengers, who helped him up
and asked him II lie were sick
"No. my friend" he answered gravely.
but I'm afraid I've made a big mistake.
Ever crossed the ocean before"
Two or three times" was the modest
answer.
"Well. then, he continued, "perhaps you
can tell NE whether | was right or wrong"
How was it?"
"Well. you see, II was this way. I'm
from Illinois, and the other day | was APP
pointed United States Consul to a port over
here across the pond. I'm on my way there
now. | took cabin passage on this boat and
/ was having a tip-top time until to-day.
This morning / had just sat down TO break
fast " hen big waiter came up behind me,
and said he: i beg pardon, Sir, but the cap
tain requests that you be seated at his table ;
What's that? said |, sit at the captains
tablet Not much, sir. Pm no plug of
common sailor. Pm United States Con-
sui. | paid for first-ciass passage on this
craft and Pun going to have irSt-cass grub.
Sit ut the captains table You must be
crazy, man. No, sir, I'm going to sit right
here and take my meals like the other first
class passengers. I'm gentleman I'm an
American sovereign, sir, and | stand on my
rights. The next thing you'll want me TO
60 down and take pot-luck with the coal
beavers. Pm no steerage passenger. If
hpl
don't eat with sea captains, do you see?'
Everybody at the table began TO look
astOniShed like, and the waiter said. Pm
sorry, sir, but orders is orders. | wouldn't
dare tell the captain that you had refused
to come to his table. He would be- much
said |, getting a bit riled. 1GS none Of
his business where | sit. l don't have
to eat with my social interiors Pm
going to sit right here. and # ynu don't
take your hand off my shoulder I'll paste
you one right between the eyes But you
don't understand he began, and put his
hand on me- again. With that got up and
hit him. lie struck back and we clnched,
rolled over on the floor and gouged each
other. A lot of the walters ran up
aud parted us. ! got up and lett
the room without any breakfast. Just as |
went out heard somebody remark that l
was the biggest fool that ever stepped off
dry land. a Now tell me, stranger. is man
fool because he stands up for his rightsP"
Certainly not" answered the other pas
senger. But don't you know that it is
considered a great honor to he invited to
the captains table? l. is an honor ac-
corded only to people OF high social rank or
official position. The captain table is co.,
sidered the finest In the dinlng-room.
I'm the dining-rooml" he gasped. "Tnen
it amt down in the fOrecastlel All. now |
catch on. What taraal fool I've been,
anyhow. I'm going to get the biggest deck
hand on board to kick me all over the ship.
and then Pm going to my state-room. and |
wont stick my nose outside until we get to
Queenstown. Good-by, my friend. IN. Y.
Tribune.
1t Was Only His Step louise Any way
A New Hampshire lawyer, with evident
appreciation OF his little stepdaughter':
wit, tells two stories about her, says an ex.
| change.
Shortly before his marriage with her
mother the tour-year-old said one day wher
the approaching marriage was being dis.
cussed:
"Pn be glad when Mr.. c. comes here
to live"
Her mother was pleased.
Why will you be glad ?" she asked
Cause. p'raps, then we'll go away some.
times"
After the wedding the stepfather at,empt.
| cd to correct the child for misbebavjor al
| the table. She rebelled aud said. with fash
ing eyes:
This isn't your house anyways"
| No" he said, gently; at is our house. ,
No. 1t is not" she replied; "it's jus
| VOur stem househ