The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-11-13
BATCH OF SHORT STORIES
They Deal Mostly with Humors of the
Late Lamented Campaign.
Amusing Case of p-Walking-Br'sr By
nam Mixed Up by Farmer-A
Sympathetic Wife.

About 4 o'clock one morning. recently,
when o crowd of men who work at night
had assembled in one of the all-night
restaurants. they were treated TO q case OF
siecp-walking that furnished q good deal
OF amusement. No one had noticed a
short. wide-out citizen who sat in a corner
next TO q steam-heater, sound asleep
with his elbow on table and
his head in the palm of his hand, until
the clerk tried TO wake him. He spoke to
the sleeper, shook him by the shoulder. and
finally pulled him by the ear but to no
avail. He slumbered on. The table was
pulled from under his elbow. but IL did not
bulge him. For full minute he dreamed
sweetly on, his elbow poised IN mid air and
his cheek nesting IN the more or less solled
hand. Suddenly the elbow sagged. and he
strengthened himself mp. Another minute
passed. and then be arose and began TO
bles with his eyes tightly closed. Then he
began to move the chairs around. He
would take one from under table and
put another IN Its place, liking each
with the incest exactness- he served
half-dozen tables IN that manner. and then
suddenly collapsed into q chair and wac
soon snoring. be was shaken, water poured
down his hack and every means taken to
wake him, but they did not work. Finally
he was dragged ont bodily on the floor, and
stood on his feet. He was facing bright
light, and the closed eyes twitched as
though the glare hurt them. He stood
without movement for n few seconds. and
then slowly drew the collar of his coat up
about his ears His head SINK down into
liz out of sight, like turtles going
into his shell, and then to all appearances
went sound TO sleep again, standing as
erect as q soldier at attention. He might
h.~- 1.s.cx >a<o 1srxe< q no
lIceman been called In. who wnirled him
through space few times like drum
majors stick. and succeeded In fully
awakening him. Then he went home.
It was the day after, and they were dis
cussIng the election and matters thereto
pertaining. IL voted for Cleveland my
SELF" said the Democrat. "and am glad he
was elected, but have less respect tEan
did for one mani wouldn't mention his
namo for the worldwide voted for him.
He belongs to q Republican club. and
turned out with the boys in their psrades.
leading them to believe, of course, that no
was loyal to MS club and party; out he
told me last week lt was his intention to
vote for Cleveland. Such course is not
honorable; 1t is acting under false pre-
lenses. and / wouldn't have thought il of
my friend"
a certain Republican club who took notes
but said nothing at that time. Later he
encountered the Democrat again and re-
marked IN q casual way: Say, Jones.
what reason did Smithson give for going
And Jones (it is hardly necessary to say
that his real name is not Jones'" nor is
"Smitheon" known TO his friends by that
cognomen), Jones. taken unawares, blup-
dered out: How did you know it was
At which involuntary and unwilling
'giye-away" the member of the Republican
club felt great Joy, for he had previously
spotted" SmIthson. but needed addition al
proof Of bis political reoreancy. And
Jones mourned his lack of presence of
mind. and tried In vain to prove that it was
another man he had been talking about.
+
THE regulation connected with the
Australian system Of voting. that every
one must keep away from the polls unless
engaged In voting or In an Official capacity.
recalls to my mind the comical faux pas OF
one of the school-teaohers one election
day. said O physician 1T happened
twenty years ago. and the teacher Is now
one of the most efficient principals we
have. but to this day she feels much cha
had gone forth that on the following day.
which was election day, the boys
must keep away from the polls
form the boys to that effect. At that time
all the school-yards were fitted up with
Rymnastic turning poles Well, the teach
or read the order that the Logs must keep
away from the poles, beginning t0-m0r-
row. adding that she supposed that some
more of them had been getting hurt, and
that the poles were about to be removed.
SURPRISED a. the vociferous laughter with
which the order was received, she asked lte
meaning. being answered that it was an
other kind of pole that was meant. and re-
ferred only to election day, whereuDon she
acknowledged that she had forgotten all
about the near approach of snch an event."
lie Is an ardent Republican and be lin
gered down town near the bulletin boards
hoping against hope for more favorable re-
turns until the stars grew pale on Wednes-
day morning. She Is an ardent Republican
and also gentle and amiable lady. refined
In speech and Bostonese in her severity OF
intellectual culture. When he, the hus-
band came sadly home she had no look of
reproach for his late hours. but rose from
her pillow and demanded to be told in
Btantiy how the election had gone.
We're busted. knocked out. everlasting
~ done mp" was the reply IN coarse mas
culine phrase.
What did its'
illinois did It."
Damn Illinois.n was the fervid and
foroIble comment of this amlablo and
pious woman in the heat of her righteous
indignation.
And the husband, who had but lately
felt that he should never smile again real
lied that life still had Joys, and laughed so
vociferously over this first bad word
that his wife had spoken in his hearing in
their fifteen years of married life that he
woke the baby and had TO be- sent into an.
other room TO quiet down.
+
Scattertield is the name of school
house In Madison county. near Anderson.
IL has q great many Populist voters, who
before were Democrats. The unrepresenr-
alive Bynum was billed there for q speech
during the campaign. and was accom-
panied from Anderson by about fifty Dem
ocrats. With these he had an audience OF
$50, many of whom were farmers Before
Bynum began his speech Wilson Corey. n
lopulist, rose and asked If he
might be permitted To propose
some questions. Bynum promised TO
answer any questions. at the
close of the meeting But when he
finished. the chairman jumped mp and de-
clared the meeting adjourned. But Ne.
Corey was not TO be put of. He had heard
Bynum say that taxes are never raised by
law. Mr.. Corey asked how then was the
State levy raised from ~ to Is cents.
Bynum's startling political proposition. tho
utterance of which showed his apprecia-
ti0n OF the intelligence of his farmer
audience. was supported BIZ IN answer