The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-01-27
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
An old sun dial.


The golden mien-Putting Oh airs.
A blunder buss-Kissing the wrong
girl.-PittsJurg Dispatch.
A shrinking little thing-Your last
dollar when it's changed.
When man makes dye museum of
his head he looks like a freak.
The hungriest Wall-streeter never
takes lamb without mint sauce. Puck.
Visitors would sometimes like to
make precocious child smart. -Bu1dLo
Truth.
The man with an elastic step probably
wears Congress gaiters. - Binghamtoa Re.
publican.
The small child is likely to look gift
horse in the mouth and to put it there,
too.-Puck.
The initial is the refuge which saves q
child from the names which a parent
can infict.--Judge.
There is always plenty of room at the
top, because we all want to get in on the
ground foor.-Puck.
The man carried away with enthu-
siasm is frequently brought back with
disgust. .-TSrds Siftings.
"Ahl this is the lap of luxury"
purred the old cat, as she stole the rich
cream from pan of milk.
The reason why the ocean is so often
called treacherous must be because it is
full of craft. Boston Post.
A few statistics never fail to soon
satisfy an audience if they are thor
oughly dry GalOeston Ne1s.
"You're a dead loss to yourself" is
the latest sarcastic way of telling man
he is no good.-Pdiladelpiia Record.
sis Fletcher sure his wife's poodle is
dead2" "He must be. l see he's offer
ing $50 reward for it. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Love at first sight does not wear spec
tacles. That may be why it seldom oc.
ours in Boston.-Binghamton Republican.
A mother may know it, but she'll
never admit that any other woman's child
is as smart as her own.-NeO Yors Jour
nal.
500 you know it takes fifty leaves of
gold to make the thickness of ordinary
paper2 "Oh, that's too thin p-Jeuel-
ers' Circular.
There's no disgrace in being poor.
The thing is to keep quiet and not let
your neighbors know anything about it.
-Te1as SDtiHgs.
You will usually fiud it the case that
the man who has the most irons in the
fire has u wife who has to furnish the
kindling.-Atchis0n GIOJe.
Lady (engaging servant-"You seem
to possess every necessary qualification.
Have you got a sweetheart" Servant
"No, mum; but can soon get one."-
The Comic.
'T've got a good idea for this season."
said a baseball manager. "What is it9"
ave got a deaf umpire. He can see
everything, but he can't hear any kick
ing, "-Ne,O York Ne,os.
$50 you are on a star tour" said tho
Circus Lion to the Dancing Bear; "pray,
tell me, is that fellow there with the
chain your messenger" "Yes, replied
the Bear, Sand also my leading man" -
Baltimore american.
az hear that water sold at twenty-five
cents a glass in the newly-opened lands
of Oklahoma. Is it so?" "Quite likely"
replied the returned boomer. al don't
know, though. l didn't have time to
wash while | was there. '-Bl1itl0 Eg-
press.
"a fast horse, is hel" "Trots like
streak of creased lightning" "Well,
that's fast enough What do you cali
him." "What Ma Says" "What Ma
Saysl That's a strange name. Why do
you call him thatl" "Bccausc what ma
says goes.
Belle--"What do you think uf the
idea of marrying for love'' Nell-"I
shouldn't think it was O good way to get
it. I've noticed that married people
usually don't seem to have any too much
love to waste on one another n-.Soner.
UIie journal.
-"NotWIthstaudmg the fact
that there are new diseases coming up
every day, the old ones seem To hold their
own all the same Tartay-'.Yesl
Well, that may be, but there's one of the
old sort that doesn't seen 10 affect my
out-of-town customers at ALL Doctor
"What is that3' Tartar--'rhc remit
ting fever. n--B0st0a ,iourAa}.
Two trains between Berlin aud Pots
dam had 10 stop in the woods bets Nen
the two cities because the Gsrmaa