The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-08-07
SEASIDE SORROWS.
A HERMIT's REcOLLEcTIoNS OF
WATERING PLACE Dl5cOMFORTS.
A Cynical Philosopher Who Found Naught
but Gnats and vcIation of Spirit mt
seashore and Lakeside Resorts-The
DeIusions of Dog Days.
Especial Correspondence


CINCINNATI, Aug. LA historian Of
pagan civilization observes that the medi
cal philosophy Of the ancients differed
from that Of modern times az the love OF
health differs from the dread OF disease.
.Thev had gymnasia and olympic festi-
walls for the culture Of strength" he says
Eve devote our attention TO hospitals for
the cure of debility"
II il much the same with that secular
religion called the science OF happiness.
we sprinkle our lawns and the foliage OF
our front yard shade trees to mitigate the
glare of the summer sun, but the crusades
for the recovery OF our lost earthly para
disc seem to have been abandoned by gen.
eral consent Free circus games have
been abolished. The maximum of pleas
ure having proved delusive ideal, we
stake our hopes on a minimum OF worry.
In midsummer the attainment OF that
blessing becomes problem of almost uni
versal Importance.
For one toiler who saves money with q
view to the realization of Sir John Lub-
books plan of earthly felicity a thousand
value the rewards Of industry chiefly as
the means of effective flight from the mar
tyrdom Of the dog days; in eastern America
alone a million parboiled city jewellers in
vest considerable percentage OF their
yearly savings in railway tickets in the
/ hope OF lettering their condition by time
/ " escape 20 the rural districts, to Europe
| or even TO the seashore.
The lingering belief in the possible sue
cess Of the latter erpedient would, how
/ ever not be apt to stand the shock OF an
| interview with an outspoken friend Of
| mine who has spent some twenty years Of
his life in search Of peace, and rs prac-
teal comment has now transferred his
household gods to little orchard farm
in the Tennessee highlands.
isn't this place n little too high for
good fruitY inquired after a peep at the
dizzy abyss below my friend-Lookout
cliff
eyes, too cold for cherries, pears or
peaches" said the refugee, "and much too
far from market TO make apples profit
able crop, but my trees are at least ssfe
from insects, and enjoy similar immu-
nifty. There are no mosquitoes up here"
But isn't it rather lonesome in winterI
A nice southern seaside resort would offer
a better chance for sport and pastime,
should suppose"
eyes, so did till tried IT," said the ex-
perimental philosopher "SportY You'd
better cash few checks before you risk il.
In Florida they will put you off an excur-
sion boat for firing a snap shot at a wild
goose and in California it's fifty dollars to
shoot q seagull. The sealions and seals
are all inviolate, like the holy apes Of Be
mares"
"But then the ground is level, and you
can take long rambles without breaking
your neck in the cliffs. You can rusticate
and camp
Camp where? Hunting and camping
strictly prohibited;' 'Trespassers will be
prosecuted to the full extent of the law
truculent signboards at every turn Of the
road as long as you stick to the prom
enade woods of the reservation. The
moment you stray beyond you viii step to
your waist in quagmires, and see snakes
enough TO give you the delirium tremens
before you get out again"
"But what about the rocky coasts far
ther north, with lighthouses and fishing
resorts"
"You must have tried it from the way
you mention them together. Boatsl You
need them indeed; before you can get a
mess of ish-go trolling for bluefsh in
boat that slips its tiller ropes and whirls
you seasick enough to take your umbrella
for a hammer headed shark; or try your
luck ashore, waste day surf fishing be-
fore you get bite, or crawl out on the
skiff and be drenched by the splash break
ersn
Social resources ought to outweigh such
drawbacks Have you never tried beach
tennis or sentimental cliff rambles9"
Supremacy sentimental till you get So
bered up by a divorce suit. Charge OF ex-
treme cruelty. Alimony and COSTS"
well, try a primitive fishing resort,
like those on the upper lakes"
ooh, yes, and come TO believe in print
tive hades before the mosquitoes get
through with you. Not Intermittent gnat
serenades, but fierce buzz, all pervad-
ing clouds of winged bloodsuckers, torture
continued day and night without mo-
ments intermission, for weeks together,
till you seek relief in plunge bath, unless
you prefer the plan of the Chippewa In
dams and grease your skin an inch thick.
Some Of our eastern swamp coasts are not
lucky if you don't get sandheas into the
bargain or a dose of malaria microbes. II
you survive at all it's a benefit of the
movement cure-the exercise you get in
kicking around aud Shaping your own
face"
"A good nights rest makes amends for
all that"
Nights rest2 Yes, if you can wait till
you are ready TO faint away. The cool
nights read very pretty on the hotel pro
gramme, but an old sailor could tell you
better. The cooling sea breeze dies out at
5 p. m, and at sunset you get feeble,
sweltering land wind, not good for much
before midnight, when it may helpa block
ade runner TO crawl out of port. And Just
by the time you really get something like
a cat nap You are sure to be walked by the
screech of a night steamer and bumps at
your neighbours door, where somebody
wants to leave at 4 a. m. Then the
night is gone, and the last hope of an
hours sound sleep The landlady keeps
turkeys TO impress you with the prospect
of the Sunday dinner. and at peep of dawn
they begin TO gobble in a way to make YOU
wish for the perpetual Sabbath of the new
Jerusalem. And just by the time the
breeze wakes up and the morning gets
pice and cool you hear the gong and re-
nounce all hopes of refuge in dreamland."
But you can enjoy the cool morning on
the verandaw
"Yes. if you consent to dress within an
inch Of your life"