The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-04-24
and shaving mug. Jeptha," insisted Mrs

and shaving mug, JeP'Ha, lnsiSteu ''i''
j., in Ii hurt tone.
.sOb. yes. I've used the soap every day,
and it's shadow hasn't grown less yet as
can see. The shaving mug i broke-acci-
dentally of course"
"Oh. of COURSE" chirped Mrs. Jones.
"You don't suppose | thought you broke
il on purpose7 Well, dear, this time I've
bought you-now guess"
Slippers, suspenders, footrcst, sInoS-
ing Jacket, slumber robe, manicure SET -
"Oh. no, no." interrupted Mrs. Jones i
knew You would never guess. Look there,
.Jeptha," and Mrs. Jones laid in Mr.. Jones
unwilling arms package Of something
metallic and long, narrow box.
He opened the box first and dragged out
four long strips Of silk, lined and wadded'
each of different color
What are these, Mariai" asked the nm
happy man, moved by a premonition OF woe.
.Four-in-handsl / made them myself
You can wear one at a time or all four at
once. just as you like. Amt they awfuliy
sweet"
"But. good heavens, Maria, they are
made of womens goods Men don't wear
that kind of stuff-no man living could tie
one" said Jones, mentally wondering II
one of them would bear his wretched
weight.
"Oh, they'll do" said Mrs. Jones cheer
fully. you are too particular, Jeptha,
dear. Now undo the package" And she
retreated toward the door in such man
ner that Jones wondered whether 1t were
dynamite.
But she only did that TO get better van
tace ground from which TO observe his de-
light when he saw the piece de resistance
of his natal day.
It opened up well, as a three leaved shaw
ing mirror with patent attachment
which would enable a nervous man to
shave himself.
"Well, that is quite scheme" said
Jones complacently; you've hit it this
time. Maria How does IL work."
'Why, you put this self adjusting shelf
under your chin, and this strap over your
head. and that brings the mirror around
your face 50 that you can see both sides at
once. and of course the razor Is inside in
your hand. and you fasten this catch and
il fits as snug as a helmet. Great inyen-
tion isn't it,"
At that moment the doorbell rang and
Mrs. Jones was called out of the room to
see company.
Jones studied himself and thought he
was pretty good looking man. He
mapped out a diagram for his next shave
and examined a new mole that appeared
in a constellation under his left ear. Then
be began 10 perspire and concluded to lay
aside the adjustable mirror
Mrs. Jones a half hour later was talking
to her caller, when a strange noise was
heard up stairs.
1T must be the cat. she said, and lis
tened a moment.
Sounds like some one in distress" said
her company, as she rose.
"Mariaw called a smothered voice.
Maria, help, murder"
Mrs. Jones rushed up the stairs and as
soon as she saw Mr.. Jones she began to
laugh Historically.
Take off the Internal thingw he shouted
as he cavorted around the room with his
head fastened in its cage of glass and steel.
keep still | can't lind the combna-
ton" gasped Mrs. Jones. "Oh, Jeptha,
you do look so funny"
But Mr. Jones was in no mood to be tri-
fed with, and by the time Mrs. Jones had
his head out of it's novel frame she real
lied il.
A hollow peace is patched up, and Mrs.
Jones says that she will hang that mirror
where she can see her Sunday bonnet in it,
and in that way it will do the most good.
And she thinks the new four-in-hands
can be utilized as belts for her new Rus
sian blouse.
Jones thinks-but his thoughts cannot
be recorded in a family newspaper.-De-
troit Free Press.