Morning journal and courier., 1892-04-28
H. H. s. CLASS DAY EXERCISES.
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 Rob and Mac here meet and after some betake themselves to Pluto's court, where Mac must be tried in order to gain Elystum. Cerberus, completely overcome by Jerry's singing, allows them to pass and they enter the court just in time to hear "Chubbie" Morris-who has been great athlete, but meets an unsimely end by losing his hand at one of the Yale Harvard games-make his speech against Bergin. Chub was Pluto's prosecuting attorney, appointed because he had liked to create sulphurous smoke in Grid by rubbing matches on his hands. The prophet quotes Chub's speech-imitating Cicero-as follows: How long, o T. J., will we be harassed by your Tom-foolerya To what end will your eternal menkey- shines insolently display themselves' Does not an ordinary sense of what is orderly and courteous move yous A sense of sen ioric pride? What state of thingsl Do ye not remember, o judges, the many evils he hath dones Recall, I pray you, one day. He had taken himself nearer his boon companions, plotting the overthrow of some soft wood benches. His teacher bade him take his own seat. "I cannot see the board from there, I'm near-sight- ed," was his reply. "Then why did you move to the rear of the rooma" After ward, gentlemen, he spent his life on the stage-as driver of the Orange street line. Judges, shall such man be permitted to enjoy Elysiuma If, in the words of one of our revered teachers, he can invent 2 plausible excuse for his mis- thousand times no!' The jury, com pletely overcome, returned a prompt ver- dict and the prisoner became Pluto's head jester. Passing his exam, together with Robbie the prophet starts to explore hades. He first reaches the abode of disappointed lovers, and says: Here we found two ladies of our acquaintance, Miss Lancraft and Miss Ryder. Mabel once could Mar shall quite an array of young men and Grace, too, had Beau man, but for some reason both had lost them and were now incon- solable. Grace did all she could, but to no pur. pose. She even moved to George st. eet, but that did not move him and now-but let us away from Teachers Retreat '' Here was Jones"C. .Storque." " He says: "Jones' faculty for losing his place in recitation is unsurpassed. Our teachers oft-re effect on him than could persuasion prevail on Foster to shave his upper lip: Another A.H inmate choice or necessity I could not ascertain, but think it was no fault of hers, as she has beer J tain callers. Her declaration that her widowel should not wear her wedding ring, as she intend ed to be buried in it. naye it may have been because in early life she nar aae @e to eo6 find dH to take to the Hs must needs be tall, handsome. well, in short someone who % would 70 do her credit. Rumor has il The prophet and his friend on leaving the house meet Mansfield and learn that he has beek a plumber, and was killed by a bursting pipe This calls up school recollections and joke iron the facetious Woodruff. Being interrupted by noise from Tartarus they hasten thithsr and hns among the shades by promising to bring down 2 shower with his rain producer inside of five min latter latte to the the depths of Tartarus sorrowfully ! leaving Walker, they continue their tour to thu nstract hxsaa Hamilton. WouIdbe M orator, to de claim the "One-hors Shay" Woodruff spring another joke about Cicero's being Q bore be be cause he was an augur and was failing in hi | attempt to punch him, next notices fa miliar group, consisting of Homer, Rutl story story. of their fife from a bystander They ha' been missionaries to the Kat-a la manti- ka-once you-go there re-you-never-come back islands. The. had gone to their doom for they were eaten b, cannibals. PThe latter found Mary Grace plum and tender, but Ruth, alas! their masticatory oI pendous task. Why?
 Greek-Hebrew etymology,
 | Chaldaic mneralogy
 | Of tables twenty score;
 Declensions, conjugations,
 | Negotiations, aff1rnations,
 Not to mention confirmations;
 | And lots of other lore;
 Mathematics, geometrics.
 Metaphysics and the classics.
 Dialectics, scientifcs, whose acquaintance sh ! might use psychology, phrenology, astrology
 technology and even doxology, were not ont
 Grechie now halls them and tells the story C
 his latter days as follows: ! q have been drummer. One day last weel | as was passing a store, heard Ottarson say
 ing 'wili that cradle Rockwel?'I was somewha
 trying to catch Fish. stopped and shoo
 hands with him, and learned he had been Mas
 of dspsg and sne b
 coming a Methodist minister br
 he s only only laughed hsa So , +ss continue m
 enworth in the Yale library deeply buried in
 pile of sanskrit.''', Here the incorrigible Woot
 low knew had been diffused among some of tt
 rest of us tell you it would have been Leavel
 ful effort to punch him, and continues, After
 futile endeaver to have talk with time le
 0 xbsn aFsn
 across sign on Church street near Elm, marke
 A. G. Keller tis M F. mssns vent up ahs ste1
 pra prise 'sis when MI Mary Mont"erHaeMrs. P KelI, M opened the door. I almost tainted. IT
 idea! Keller the woman-hater! Keller the ma
 %irgis Words % woman @Hne is % always u csangeaS @ % | and tickle thing The prophet reminds Gree l that toward the close of the school Keller ha | softened. He quoted Virgil no more and he co
 stantly wrote notes in Ovid. Grech acknoW
 edges these things and winds up by saying: TT | doctor did what he could for me and l died la l night The prophet then continuet: "Jerry al ! then left Grechie and went to the dancing ha ! Here we found Miss Wedmore engaged in her f l vorte pursuit. Weary at length of the whirin | we sought the race track, and just ill time, to
 for there, nip and tuck, was chariot race b ! tween Holcomb and Maynard, and as the l drew near we heard them shouting to their steed | 'Histhere, Homer!' Get 8 move on you Carso l Hey, Grid, we've passed the half mile test, no l for the final exam! Heigho! Xenophon, yt l may rest now, we have won! We were Ju
 moving forward to congratulate the visitor wht
 suddenly the ground sank, the walls rocked ar | rattled around us, a chasm yawned before m ! and felt myself falling, falling - and when ] opened my eyes friends were about me fannil
 snatched me fir. m a watery grave. All that
 have told you was a wild fancy, the imaginati fabric of adream."
 More music by the banjo club followed, al then Miss Lenora Pratt Williams prophecied
 ''Fannie Holcomb after placing her name l and fall in love with Portland millionaire VI
 will be desperately enamored of her charm , | Margaret Manson will be a much learned wom, ], La blue stocking, in fact, with extraordina l talents, sweetness and tact. Alice Maynard | life will be beautiful example of lf-sacrifi . ! nurse. Anna Hennig, the elocutionist, will | light large audiences
 Next came vocal solo by Mary Silva Elcoc , followed by the prophecy of Ernest Geor ! Shurig.
 Prophet Shurfg on Deck. The prophecy of Ernest George Shurig was