Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1892-12-30


party.
1t takes lot of time for folks to get to-
gether and say their how d. e-do's and get
their hats off, and the appropriate time
didn't come for me to read until it was
half past 8; then l riz up / was glad
Rosy Wood was there, and was glad so
many folks were out; but ! was kinder
sorry to see stranger-a middlin aged
man, pretty bald atop-apparently some
one ylsltln our dominic; but it couldn't be
helped, and everybody was lookin at me,
and was obliged to start.
"Bretheren and sistern' seq I, at hey
somethin here | wish to read to YOU. 1t
is statement of the facts of the case be-
twixt Tobias Starch and Miss Rosy Wood
You may say inwardly, Why rake 'em up
after twenty years of silence? Bretheren
and slstern, it was others that raked 'em
up and gave 'em wrong coloring. | stand
here for to state the truth on nv solemn
Bible oath, with wafer and stamp at
the bottom, and the names of witnesses at
tached. Some on em is dead and buried.
but wrote 'em down all the same. 1t is
tryin me to stand here as | do, but the
martyrs died for the truth, and Pm ready
TO suffer for iti'
Here the strange gentleman with the
bald head said Good! Good Right"
and gave me courage, and began to read:
MY friends" seq |, New Years day, as
we all know, is a day here for fun and
frolicks and trick playin. They do say
that Soapstone was fust settled by folks
from Sweden, and that they had them
habits and customs and handed 'em down
to their ancestors. Perhaps it is so. Any
way we do it, and we Gid it more twenty
years ago, when those of us that was born
was all younger than what we be this New
Years eve. At that there time Miss Rosy
Wood, a lady we all know well, was Jest
seventeen, and full of fun as an egg is of
meat, and being her ma had departed this
life, and she didn't get on with her stepma,
who is now in glory, she boarded to my
house for spell.
AT that time there was a young man
that was studying for the ministry
a-boardin with me. Most of you remember
him. His name was Tobias Starch. He
was jest twenty, but sitter than poker
Laugh was not in him, nor was he ever
seen to smile, and he had been told by his
ma that girls always set their caps for
young minister's and that he must beware
Therefore he was always bewarin plain to
behold, and the one he bewared of most
was Rosy Wood. She was a girl that
laughed considerable, and she had a way
Of touchin folks on the arm when she
spoke with her nice little hand, and all
this scared Tobias Starch and made him
think she wanted for to marry him when
she wouldn't hev done it eff he'd groveled
onto his Bonded knees before her. How
ever, Tobias went around tellin the other
students how hard it was for him to get
rid of her attentions, and they came and
told her, and her spirit kinder riz and she
Il o,I,, 4 l>ak
eve she would play him such trick as
would stop his braggin about bein made
love to by the gals for good and ALL Kin
you blame herr"
ut served him right, ma'amG' says the
strange gentleman in a loud voice, and
everybody else said, $50 it doosr'
Sich is the power Of popular opinion.
Rosy Wood said this" | read on, land
what IS more, she meant it, and when New
Years eve came she was ready. Mr.. Starch
always shut himself into his room to study
after tea, and he never heard the little
knocks on the door and the little giggles
when we opened it, About twenty friends
arrove, and as they came they sot down on
chairs placed as for meetin and kept
mum as mice. Lights was all ready to light,
but none was lit. Pretty soon the hull
twenty we'd asked was present, and then
Rosy Wood came in, whispered, All keep
quiet and knocked on Tobias Starch's
door.
"'WeIl, says Tobias from inside
Tobias says Rosy from outside the
door, are you very busy"
Yes said Tobias
Too busy to come and spark little?'
said Rosy. just little. I'll have a lamp
in the front parlor, and just you and me-
no NV
81 beg to be excused says Tobias.
COVE sot SO on it, says Rosy, whimper-
Kindly go away says Tobias from in
side
You are very cruel, Toby says Rosy,
when you know how fond | be of you,
Toby, darling
"'Miss Wood says Tobias Starch, L
have never given you the privilege to call
me Toby. Stop doing it. Go away
Toby, you can't mean it. says Rosy.
az mean itP called Tobias, very snap.
pish.
"'Tobias,' says Rosy, as nat'ral as ever
you heard, while we all choked ourselves
with our han'kerch'efs, Tobias, hev con-
cealed my feelin's very keerfuI, but they
can't be retained no more. Hear me, cruel
beingp
~ will not, says Tobias. Go away, or
Tll tell everybody. | know how ought
to behave, and Pm always particular |
promised ma | would be. 60 awayr'
Then Rosy Wood did go too fur My
cheeks mantles with bushes as read this
here; but she was wild with fun and hear
ing US giggle and choke all about her.
" Tobias says she, my intentions is
honorable. | offer marriage. On my Bonded
knees Tobias, beg you to be mine Surely
you will not refuse me-
81 am obliged to decline your offer
ma'am,' says Tobias Starch. Il should
choose more retiring and proper behaved
person. Go awayp
''As soon as he said them words Rosy be-
gan to weep. She WEEP and sobbed and
got highstrikes in a most nat'ral way.
Finally she says family:
"'Tobias Starch, ajoo; your cruelty has
killed me. Ajoo-ajooP
''Then she made a great noise fallin onto
the floor, and Tobias opened the door.
There warnt no light in our room, and his
shaded lamp didn't reveal nothin.
"'Where are you, poor grip says be-
Here says Rosy. Embrace me once
before die
NO says Tobias Starch, Il will not
embrace you. You air not dyin; your
hands air warm: but | all very sorry for
you You will get over this i'll fated at
tachment in time, and take lesson from
this affair, and remember that boldness in
q 1adv is abhOrrent to man of principle.