The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-03-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


A nice new umbrella is used up when
it is used at all.-Philadelphia Press.
The thinner thing is the more it is
inclined to spread itself. oil City Biz
zard.
Fame comes only when deserved, and
then it is as inevitable as destiny
Siftings.
The typewriter is said to be the only
wowan man has the right to dictate to.
Boston Journal.
The eyes are the windows of the soul,
especially when we have a pain in them.
Jewellers Circular.
The bankwrecker may be bailed out;
but the bank itself goes downia the deep.
sea of distress. Puck.
You can't agree with bigot without
agreeing with him in thinking that you're
a fool.-Elmira Gazette.
It is well for the small man to practise
until he knows how to apologize grace
fully.-Somervill journal.
Charity may begin at home, but it is
wiser for subscription. seekers to call at (
business mans office.-Puck.
1t doesn't follow that because a man is
master of dead languages he has a kill
ing style of speech. boston Post.
One of the queerent things we ever
heard was regarding a matchmaker who
SLEPT on pallet. Circular.
Both men and women have their fail
ings. With men it is The big head; with
women, the big hat.--Boston Transcript.
The snare of a drum is not dangerous.
1t is the snare of the wilJ drummer that
you want to look out for.-Bostoa Post. =
1t does not necessarily follow because
clergyman is affected that his hearers
will be affected by his sermons.-B
Transcript.
After much solicitation, the German
Government has decided not to send the
Watch on the Rhine to the Worlds Col
umbian Exposition. Jewelers. Circular.
Why does she wriggle and squl m around
And look so i'll at ease2
Because the minister's looking at her
And she's trying not to sneeze
New York Herald.
Life is made of compensatioHs. By
the time a man is old sEough to realize
what lot he does not know he is too
old to worry over It.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mr.. Fligg--"Tommy, my son, do you
know that it gives me as much paiu as It
does you when ] punish youl" Tommy
-"Well, there's some satisfaction In
that. anyhow. ."-The Comic.
''I wish hadn't eaten that apple"
said Fatty, ruefullly, "Way, was Il a
bad onel" "Well, I believe it was
spelling for fight, and his face .took
on a look of pain.-St Joseph News.
He-"Do you think there is ar
truth in the saying, distance makes
heart grow fonderP" She-"I'm So
of it. 1 like you ever 81 iiuch bott
when you are away. brooklyn Eagle
Mrs. Wick wire-"Just think of il
Mrs. Bragg's husband accompanies -
wife whenever she goes shopping. Isn't
he good2" Mr.. Wickwire-"H'mh.
I've got more confidence in my wife thar
that. indianapolis journal.
1t is a little odd about life insuranc
1t is universally admitted that the @.
die young, but no company cares to IA
a risk on the bad man, when il the co
verse of the proverb be true, he ought
live till all is blue. Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Blackhills displaying his collec-'
tion Of Indian curios) )-"That is a speci,
men of the was paint of the Sioux. 1
brought it when l came home from my
last trip" Fair Visitor-"Ah, YES. /
see; sort of a Sioux veneer. Boston
Post.
Did it ever occur to you that Colum.
bns was in very melancholy state OF
mind when he was on his voyage to the
New World3 If not, remember what
the old song says, SIN 1902 Columbus
crossed the ocean blue. Boston Tran
script.
Not Entirely Sure; Father-"Well,
Tommy, how do you think you will like
this little fellow for brotherl' Tom
my inspecting the new infant somewhat
donbtfully)-"Have we got to keep him,
papa, or is ;.e only a -lmplo9'-Chior
Tribune.