Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-08-06
MIR. BOwSEE AND THE MOWER.
1t Was an Unlucky Day When He Worked
the Machine on the Lawn.

1t Was an UnIucky Day When He Worked
the Machine the Lawn.
From the New York Sun
Did that lawn mower como up this after
ncon! asked Mr.. Bowser. as he came home an
hour ahead of time the other evening.
"Was tina. a lawn mower?'' queried Mrs. Bow
ser in reply. "What on earth possessed you to
buy such thing?''
For two very good reasons, Mrs. Bowser
propose to save about SIS on lawn moving
this summer and l want the exercise. | could
have got health lift, but l thought would
combine business with pleasure. Always kill
two birds with one stone when chance offers
Ill work up a muscle in a couple of weeks to
astonish you. The doctor says it's exactly
what | need
But wish Won hadn't bought it,"
THAT'S you to dot, Always in opposition
to everything l do. That's why We take so
much comfort as a family The only thing
you wouldn't oppose is my dying,'
Mrs. Bowser had nothing more to saw. and
after dinner Mr.. Bowser made ready for his
exercise. He got into an old suit of clothes.
dragged the lawn mower into the back ward
and oiled II up. and WAS presently ready to
make start He looked up at the back win
dows and. seeing nothing of Mrs. Bowscr, he
spat on his hands and said
'Ra, This is whatll give a man muscle
Only costs 80. and III get 800 benefit out of
1t. suppose might as well make a start
He made one. He had gone about ten feet
when the machine stopped suddenly. So did
Mr.. Howser. He stopped suddenly that his
feet left the ground and the handle of the
mower just missed his chin on an upper cut
Struck post, eh!" he muttered. as he in
vestigated and found rising about six
inches out of the earth. ''That's all right
however. l didn't expect to NOV down posts
as well as grass. Seems as if my muscle was
working up little already
He lodged the post and headed for the back
fence. and his countenance had just begun to
beam again when there was a great Gathering
and the machine stopped.
"Oyster cans!' he growled. as he kicked two
or three out of the grass. '.She's probably
watching me. and shes probably tickled half TO
death. but I'd NOW this yard if ii was full of
deadly torpedoes."
He reached the fence without further mishap,
leaving trail behind him as crooked as a SER
penis, but at the first dash he made on his re-
turn journey something happened again. The
machine stopped with bump. ard Mr. Bowser
pitched forward over the handle and brought
up in heap on the ground.
Now, hope to never draw another breath
If L don't slaughter somebody for this he
yelled as soon as he could get his breath.
He was going to jump up and kick somebody
or something, but it occurred to him that Mrs
Bowser might be looking, and he sat up and
looked around and pretended to rest,
Nothing could be seen of Mrs. Bowser. how
ever, and after couple of minutes he got I'D
and moistened his hands for fresh start.
Everything went smooth as grease for the
next twenty feet. Then the mower picked up
hundred feet of stovepipe wire and waited for
results.
THAT woman's hand again. hoarsely whis-
pered Mr. Bowser, as he saw what was the mat
ter but wouldn't give in now if knew that
death wasn't two rods off,
1t took him ten minutes to clear away the
wire. When this had been accomplished he
pulled of his coat and vest, glanced up at all
the back windows and there was a dangerous
light in his eye as he gripped the handle, drew
a long breath and went ahead At the fifth stem
Mr.. Bowser's right foot found post hole and
followed it up until he fell forward on his stom-
ach and ploughed along the grass. His first
thought was to get up and kick both line fences
down and make a bonfire of the splinters, but
as he slowly reached his feet better idea oc-
CURED to him. He picked up the mower by
the handle and raised it over his head and
pounded the earth with it until nothing but the
handle was left. Then he gathered up wheels,
cogs. ratchets, fiues, pulleys, cylinder heads
and low-water indicators and tossed them over
the back fence and walked into the house. Mrs
Bowser sat reading and looking very innocent
and humble, but he was not to be deceived
Standing before her in his sternest attitude he
said:
Mrs. Bowser, there is an easier way.''
"Why, what do you mean?'
''Kill me off! II you are so bent and deter
mined to get rid Of me why don't you poison
my food or cut nv throat when I'm asleep?
No explanation; not word! 1 understand the
situation perfectly and nothing you can say will
excuse your dastardly Vaccinations"
''But didn't say I VAS
''Never! Never said a world That will do.
Mrs. Bowser! We will not discuss the subject
further. In the morning we will seek an ami
cable adjustment of difficulties and 1 will 90
with you to the train. There are two trains a
day by which you can reach your mother and
will telegraph her Of your coming Our child
will, Of course, remain with me. Good night,
Mrs. Bowser. Any suggestions you have to
make had best be put in writing and submitted
the first thing in the morning..