The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1892-12-01

! the tragedians and heavy villains havin
finished their lines and made their exit.
Election bets are generally silly in them
sequences when things of moment ar
staked upon the issue, but sometime
they are harmless and their paymen
contributes so much to the general en-
i tertainment that they may be re sarde
with an indulgent eye even by the sever
est critics. For the losers the results o
their campaign lunacy are not always s.
amusing, but to their credit it must b
said they generally execute their bal
gains in cheerful aud philosopher.
spirit. The campaign which came to al
end a few weeks ago seems to have beer
more than usually fruitful in absurd ant
grotesque wagers. The wheelbarroy
bet, though old, still has it's admirers
and Mr., Harrison's defeat has been til,
means of psocuri1g rides in this uncom
Portable vehicle for a large number O
jubilant Democrats and of testing the
muscular ability of their political oppo'
nents. In Chicago, with genuine west
ern originality, they varied the usua
programme, and on Friday a week ago
Miss Alice Poole, "a society belle ane
president of the Columbia Bicycle Club
trudged down Drexel Boulevard with
Mr.. James S. Graham, weighing 18(
pounds, in wheelbarrow Miss Poole
will probably be great deal more of a
belle than ever after this, as she has
clearly demonstrated her ability to sup
port a husband But the young man
who seeks her hand should remember
that she has a strong one and that she
will be quite as able to dump him out
into the gutter of life as she is to wheel
him along the boulevard.
At Kreicherville, Staten Island, Abram
Cole gave Murray Androvette a ride
through the streets on wheelbarrow, a
pleasing variety in the entertainment
being provided in key of beer, which
| kept the Democrat company in the bar
row, and from which he renewed his en-
| thusiasm from time to time. The gen
| tle1nan who prizes his beard above all
the treasures of the world also crops up
again at this juncture. Some cynic has
said that man with long, full beard
is the most conceited of male bipeds If
j this is SO, what mental anguish will the
Republican in Somerville, Mass, suffer
who must now shave off the handsome
facial adornnent which has been devel-
oped from an infant industry into its
present state of luxuriant beauty under
the protecting influence of the Mckinley
bill. Another Republican in Massachu-
sets must wear straw hat all winter,
which will give his heated brain an OPP
portunity to cool off, and still another
must wear q tall hat of outlandish de-
sign, probably with Democratic roos-
ter growing on top. A female Republi-
can in the old Bay State who bet on Mr..
Harrison cannot wear corsets until after
Mr.. Cleveland's Inauguration bet
which it would have been we'll if all the
women in the country had made, with
the time for the resumption of the gar
ment indefinitely postponed. Even se>
date and quiet Philadelphia caught the
infection of the campaign madness, and
one of its gentlemanly representatives
will furnish music from hand>organ
for the Democratic procession which
marches by the reviewing stand in Wash
ington on Inauguration day A Repub>
lican in Philadelphia is to sit as target
while Democrat throws four dozen
eggs at his head. If they should prove
to be protection eggs which have been
kept warm to enable them to hatch
but we forbear.
Grow is an old dish to serve to defeat
ed partisans, but two West Virginians
improved ON this bill of fare by offering
to eat rat if their Presidential candi>
date were defeated. Saturday night the
unhappy Harrison man complied with
his contract in the town hall in the pres
ence of a crowd of enthusiastic Demo-
Gratis and sympathetic Republicans. Let
us hope that the loser was good union
man and enjoyed eating a rat. The sup
per was rendered more palatable by the
fact that the game was cooked and serv-
ed with some of Mr.. Elkins' famous pol
itical sauce, which he had designed eat
ing with the West Virginia goose for
his Thanks giving dinner-if he had
caught it. 1t was wild goose chase,
and the cunning rat, and not the goose,
has been caught and eaten.
But the most novel bet of all is that
reported from Ohio. 'Henry Rudolph,
residing at Evanston" so runs the dis
patch, ''has for several years sought the
hand of Miss Lawrence of the same
place, but unsuccessfully. Just after
the Chicago convention Miss Lawrence
bet Rudolph that Cleveland would not
win, the stake being her hand. Tuesday
night Rudolph came to this city to get
the returns. He was the most anxious
man in town. When it became known
that Cleveland had been elected he was
wild. Friday morning he returned to
Evanston, brought Miss Lawrence to the
city and married her." The dispatch
omits to say that all the other girls in
Evanston are devoured with envy at
Miss Lawrence's good fortune. Some of
them charge that it was piece of clever
strategy by which she led a diffident
lover into a position from which he
could not escape. Blu this is clearly a
piece of feminine malice, and is unwor-
thy of attention. The Evanston girl
has given all other girls in the country
pointer on the subject of matrimony
which they should not be slow to utilize.
If any girl in Baltimore has lover who
is backward in coming forward, and who
does not toe the mark with the prompt
ness that ought to be shown in such
cases, she should Immediately propose a
wager with herself as the prize, provid>
ing such conditions as would prevent
her losing by any possibility.
A presidential election only comes
once in four years, but it is not necessary
for the girls to wait for an election to
carry out this matrimonial scheme. They
can bet on anything, and after a few de-
| linquents have thus been forced to do