The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1892-11-26
COLT and YumOr.
1.-THE NEW BOY"
BY NJ. QUAD.

BY NJ. QUAD.
He made his appearance at one OF the
Union schools the other morning, and ar
rived ahead of time He prevented any
feeling of loneliness from seizing him by
licking three boys and riding the gate off
its hinges. He went in with the crowd
when the bell rang, and finding no empty
seat, he perched himself on the wood box.
When the children repeated the Lord
Prayer" in concert the new boy "kept
time with his heel, and when they came
to sing he argued that variety was the
spice of song, and attempted to sing one of
his own-one about gentleman named
Daniel Tucker, who dreamed that he was
dead, etc The teacher warned him to
keep still, and he replied that he would
not come to that school if his musical
qualifications were to be overlooked. When
school finally opened the teacher secured
his name and began asking him questions
in order to find ont how he should be
graded
Gan YOU spell?'' she asked.
What kind of spelling ?" he cautiously
replied
"Spell house, if you please.
Frame or brick house ~ he asked
ANY kind of house
with mortgage on it p
you may spell man if you will, she
said, giving severe look.
Man ?"
Yes"
Il don't care much about spelling man
this morning, but I will this afternoon.
I've spelled it with my eyes shut.
"Do you know you alphabet 2 She
asked, changing the subject.
Never had any, was the prompt re-
ply.
'Do you know anything about read
ing?7
II read like lightning" he answered
/ She handed him a reader and said
Read right out loud?'
eyes"
'Im afraid it would disturb the chill
dren " he whispered.
SEQ on and let me hear you read.
He looked carefully at the page, scowled
MS brow, and read
"If | was lame boy and didn't get any
peanuts in my stockings Christmas, dunn
my eyes but Id make the things jump
around that house the next morning
He handed the book back and the teach
er asked
Richard, how many are three and
three -
Three and three what ?"
Anything
''Its IA good deal according to what it
is, he replied, as he settled back. Il
know that three and three cats don't make
a dog ~
Did you ever study geography, Rich
ard?"
Yes, mama"
What is geography"
Its book y
"Is this world round or fiat p
Hills and hollers r he replied.
Richard can you write 2
Write what ?"
Can you write you rname ??
II could, | suppose; but I've got my
name without writing it.
'Can you write letter -
who to p
'To any one.
Eyes, / could, if l had money to pay
the postage"
"Well, Richard" she said in despair
you'll have to 90 into the lower room il
thi. gnhnnl -
"Id ruther stay here.
But you can't
"Tll bet you this knife agin ten cents
can
She took him by the arm to remove him
but he laid his hand on her shoulder and
said in warning voice
"Don't get me mad, now, or III let my
self loose"
She called the principal down, and as he
approachedIthe boy he commanded:
''Boy, what are you doing here p
Getting educashun," replied Richard.
''You 90 right down stairs now p con
tinued the principal.
'Wall, don't sass me, for | was never
here before !" replied Richard, slowly NOV
ing his legs as if he meant to get down,
The principal took him by the collar and
ierked him around, got kicked on the shin
and bitten on the wrist, and finally landed
the young student on the walk.
"Now you 90 home p he shouted as he
tried to recover his breath.
cam | educated?" inquired Richard.
you seem to be.
''Gim me diplony, then.
"You clear out or Ill have you arrest
ed.
"Hain't Il scholar in this school NO
more ?"
eNo, sir.
EWho owns this schoolhouse?' demand
ed the boy.
"No matter-you clear out.
evil you come out in the yard here
where you can't hang to anything? = asked
the boy.
"Begone, say =
Don't draw any Deeringer on me?'
warned the boy as he backed off, mol
don't think you can scare me with any o.
your bowie-knives y
The principal walked in and shut the
door, and after the new boy had stood
there long enough to show that he wasn'
afraid, he turned and walked off, growing
to himself:
I'll get the foreman of No. 6 to pOunC
that Teller afore he's week older.
He WAS a DIPLoMAr.-aWill yoo b.
mine ?"
Can you afford to dress me well if !
marry you?"
"That depends upon what you consider
heino dressed well. IL YOU mean Wortl