St. Landry democrat., 1892-06-18
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Cheering Him Up-Alas, Poor Bee!
Very Likely-ic Boston Maid
The Whole Truth, Etc. Etc.
CHEERING HIN L 7.

CHEERING HIN UP.
| Friend How are you to- day?
Sick Man-l'retty bad. I'm afraid I'm
| going to die.
Friend Nonsense. Cheer up, old tel
! low. Only the good die young.
ALAS, POOR BEE.
How doth the Presidential bee
Improve each shining day
By gathering delegates galore
In such quiet way.
How skillfully he lays his plans,
How we'll improves each minutel
And yet when the convention comes
Ofttimes he isn't in it
-IChicago Times.
VERY LIKELY.
"Nhy do they have SO many fine oil
paintings in saloons nowadavs?"
''Probably because water colors would
be Inappropriate. - Truth,
YE BOSTON MAID.
Prof. Astral in Boston)-I understand
that your daughter is an enthusiastic
student Of theosophy
Mrs. Iiubbs Yes; she was last week
| don't know what she is enthusiastic
about this week. Puck
THE WHOLE TRUTH.
A rattle of poker chips sounded in the
collectors ears as he opened the door o.
the office.
lis Mr.. Brinkins in?" he inquired
"No, sir replied the office boy
"He's out about seven dollars. - Judge
Friend-What did he say to you when
he proposed to you?
Miss Rox-IIe said life without me
meant nothing.
Friend He was sincere in that.
That s Just what his possessions amount
ALL PULLING TOGETHER.
"Who is that long haired young fellow
who seems to have nothing to do Z" i'll
quircd the casual stranger
Chats our poet" said the Squire.
Clown chips in an pays his board and
cothcs.''
"N here are his works published -
"Aint never been published. He's
arranged TO have EN- printed arter he's
dead. That's wy we are irwin to keep
him alive longs we can. - indianapolis
Journal
A MATTER OF WAGES
II observe, James. said the Boston
employer, "that YOU say 'eether and
'neether' Are you not aware that such
is not our pronunciation of those
words :'
at doesn't seem to me- replied the
boy from New York, despondentIy,
That YOU ought to expect me to say
'cy"ther' and 'nyther' on salary of SIG
a month.
UNPRoFITABLE GAME.
City S; ortsman- Any game here?
Jerseyman-P Plenty o snipe
''Snipc. 1t do"sn' t pay to hunt them.
Too small
Too small ter cook ?"
TOO small to hit
LUCID INTERVAL.
Doctor--liow is the patient this morn
ing:
Nurse-W ell-he has been wander
ing a good deal in his mind. Early this
morning heard him say: "What an old
woman that doctor is land | think
that was about the last really rational
remark he made. Punch
SELFISH PARENTS.
Small boy Mamma, when will there
be another war?
Mamma Never, hope.
Smal! Boy-Huh! You and papa saw
great big war when you was young,
an now you don't care whether US chill
dren has any fun or not Good News.
CAREFUL ABOUT HIS DIET
"Ihat's something never eat for din
ner. said man in a Spring lane res
taurant.'
"What's that asked his friend.
'Breaktast,' was the absent minded
reply Boston News
NOT A MATTER OF WAGES.
Say, said the elderly ,farmcr-Iooking
man. 81 want little piece put in the
paper that | want woman who can
cook, wash. iron. milk four cows, an
manage a market wagon
"All right, said the advertising clerk
"Shall state what wages will be paid" !
"Wages nothin'!' shouted the far
mcr looking man. 81 want to marry
her. - indianapolis Journal.
THE MODERN WAY.
81 like the bonnet very much. II il |