Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-04-09
WIT AND HUM0R.
y nnidens sd IA a rnw

Life
perbans some day we shall see the castle
mn i4. igst at present this globe is owned
Is! 'i' '''''' Y Herald
With politician the check is might
ier than his word.-Tcrds SytRgS.
A weather profit-An income on the
sale Of oyershoes Washington star.
obiyalrous man win never make
rqht Of an old me.-BoStoll Gazette.
Sober second thoughts are generally
preceded by headaches.-Ie@as SIT
iRgs.
Lucifer was the first person on
record to be helled up.-DetroH Free
Press.
The Flower that blooms in the fall
in New York is a tiger hly.-Pittsburg
Dispatch
When there is work to be done the
buzz-saw is always willing to take a
hand. Y0nkerS Statesman.
1t is the height of misery for man
afflicted with insomnia to marry girl
who snores.-C Christian Union.
"Does your wife always get the last
word?" No; she hasn't any last word.
She never stops. IN I. Press.
Charity may begin at home, but it is
wiser for NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. TO call
at busiuess-man's office. Puck.
Teacher-"What is faith?" Dick
Boy: That which enables folks to en-
10y eating clam chowder. Puck.
The rain falls upon the just, but not
upon the unjust who has stolen the
umbrella OF the former GalveSton
Aec2.
There are too many people who
would like to 90 to heaven if they
could take the devil with hem.-Ram'S
Horn.
The world is fun of men so engaged
in SAYING amen" that they fail to see
the contribution basket. - AtchiSoD
Globe.
Whether or not a cheap coat makes
cheap man, there is no question a
sealskin sacque becomes a dear girl
Paiadeiphia Times.
81 wouldn't mind my wife's having
the last word, said Mr., Meekins, IF
she would only hurry up and get to it."
Washington star.
Checked your grip yet?" asked the
giraffe Didn't have to, replied the
elephant. 81 have it in my trunk. -
Indianapolis Journal
Smythe-"These mugwumps would
IL, nh Tyg
why SOP" Smythe-"They're al
ways expecting the best man to win"
A. T. Heraid.
The Skeptical what does he
do, Dolly, for liying?" Dolly (greatly
surprised) why, Auntie, he does not
have time to earn living while we are
engaged. life.
Smoker, do you believe that brevity
is the soul of witP" 81 think it must
be, Hunker, for | know at least one
professional humorist who is always
short. ~ brooklyn Life.
A woman can give much more adj
vice about how to keep a husbands
love on the first anniversary of her
marriage than she can at her silver
wedding. -Etnaira Gazette.
First Boy Observation-Disclosures
wait till I ketch yer arter school,"
Second Boy advancing defantly)-
"Why don't We take me now?" First
Boy (backing off) -"Me mind is on me
lessons now."- GOOD NeuS.
81 am of very sympathetic dis
position, said n Peck, Whenever
come home and find my wife with
nervous headache am sure to catch
,a'- indianapolis JourHai.
He dong sitter) so my! it is quite
,ato. ! must 90, as fear my father
will be angry" She-"Why should
you think that2 He hasn't been sit
ting up with you. "-J4dge.
only love me little bit, and 1 will
be your faithful, willing slave" "But
where is the fun in that? What a girl
really enjoys is managing an unwilling
slave, Indianapolis Journal
Old Million -"My dear Miss Young
thing, if you'd only marry me I could
DC happy" Miss Youngthing Why,
Mr. Million, if you were dying I'd
marry you in minute. - Good Nei0s.
Wen, what do you think of the new
neighbors who have moved in next
door Mrs. Pryer?" q haven't had
chance TO form an opinion. They
haven't had washing-day yet. lid
Bits.
Whom do you charge with this?"
a-."d the policeman when he found a
N-->lore man lying bruised and
bleeding on his premises. The soda
,aountain," was the faint reply.-IeIas
SJ.iHgs
Bouttown-"Say; why did Klubbite
e. of and get married?' Oleboy-
Ioor fellow! He lost so much in the
wheat furry that he couldn't afford to
1--WE 40 the Bachelor club any longer"
~ \. Feekty
The European family system is
somewhat Of Geographic nature,
sntii?" How 500" why, the ex-
peetations in life Of their daughters
GAa sons seem to be on the order Of
oo's and dashes. Baltimore american,
Time is money, my dear" he said,
hhN0>ilng around in great hurry.
LOUp MY Ok .os-l.,4