The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-03-23
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser.

D
When Mr.. Bowser comes home and
finds his wife living down with her head
tied up he is real sorry for Der, Of course
Just as sorry as any husband could be
And, Ike any other husband, he stands
and surveys her for moment and then
bluntly says:
4 expected it, Finally got fat down
eh ?"
-It's nothing" she family replies
"Oh. it isn't Nothing for a wife to be
down and upset whole house, sup
pOses Well, I've been looking for 1t the
last three months, and so I'm not much
surprised Mrs Bowser, it's Fonder tc
me that you or any other woman in New
York Is out Of your cofinr
@It's only-a headache, dear"
Yes, only a headache bat what do
headaches lead to? If you are not a
dead woman before Saturday night you
may consider yourself lucky. Didn't I
warn you not to sit IN a draught-not to
wear thin shoes-nOt 10 eat too much in
warm weather? Little good it does to
talk TO a woman
'You can't heip ailing occasionally,
she replied, as she got up TO vet the
bandage around her head.
Mrs Bowser, look at me - he said as
he struck an attitude and held one
hand aloft- when am l ever ailing =?
when do you ever hear me complain ,
Never And why Is it? Because Mrs
BOwser-because don't cram my stom-
ach with watermelon, buttermilk, gum
drops, custari pie, sweet cake, ginger
ale, and all that Because don't 60
around with my feet sopping wet Be
cause know enough to come in when it
rains. Because I exercise little COM
mon sense in taking care Of myselfw
~Your dinner is ready"
~And I'm ready for dinner. A healthy
happy person Is always ready for his
meals. You won't try to get up sup
pose -
@Not now"
~Well. you have only yourselfto blame.
You may learn in time, but I doubt it.
I'd like to fad one woman with about
two ounces Of horse sense in her head be-
fore die, but doa't expect to do it.
Well, it can't be helped, I suppose. The
Lord made you that way and it'sno use
to argue
Mr. Bowser eats his dinner, smokes
his cigar, and sings and whistles as If the
slightest noise didn't go through her
aching head Ike bullet 1t never oc-
curs to him to fan her, vet the bandsge,
or ask her if she can sipa cup Of tea It
does occur to him, however, to say about
bedtime;
am sorry, Of course, but then you
must have more sense. III 90 to bed and
you can come when you get ready. If
you are going to kick around much you'd
better sleep in the spare room.
yf. lsoesef tbGnss houie'Ib iuncn, drag
Zing his legs after him and looking pale
and scared.
whats the NATTER" asks Mrs- Bow
ser.
~Gos a sore throat, and I feel feverish.
IL think I'm going to be sick -
She doesn't call out that it's Just as she
expected and declare that no husband in
New York has sense enough TO look out
for his health. She knows he was out in
draught in his shirt sleeves, but she
doesn't even mention it. On the contra
~, she remarks:
Try and eat little something and
then lie down. You'd better gargle your
throat and then tie il up-"
~Do you-you think it's anything Sc
riousq" he whispers as he grows paler.
~Ihope not, but it's best to be on the
safe side You are subject to quinsy,
you know, and spinal meningitis begins
Just this way"
Il believe Pm going to die" gssps Mr..
Bowser, and be grows 80 weak that she
has to take of his coat and vest and get
him on the lounge. Everything about
the house is ordered to go on tiptoe, and
even the cat is put out and the clock i
stopped. After his throat had been tied
I'D. his shoes taken of, and q gull
thrown over him, Mr. Bowser plsintiTe-
ly inquiries:
-Dont you think you'd better send fol
a doctor?'
Not Just yet, dear. l don't think i
very serious"
Mrs BOEser, l believe I'm already
struck with death"
Nonsense You've Just got littl
inflammation of the tonsils."
ave felI for some time as ifa grea
calamity hung over the household
Hadn't We better have two dOctors?"
aust try and get to sleep, Mr.. BoEsel
and III warrant you'll feel better b
night"
@Ah, how I suffer" be groans- "Yo
NAV be widow before the week is on
/ hope you will always be kind to Ou
child. 1 have tried to be q good hu'
band, and"
Mrs. Bowser lays her hand on his for'
head, and the tears come to his eyes, an
he suddenly becomes great big boObl
She has to hold his hand tdGget him {
sleep, and when he wakes up be wan
tea and toast and jelly, and be is as pet
liant as a sick baby until finally put
bed
He is new man when he awskes
the morning, and when Mrs Bows
asks after his throat he replies:
@Throat-humphl Mrs. Bowser, f
about five hours yesterday I was ho
ering between life and death. Had
been you, you would have died tentim
over, bat grit pulled me through"
"Grit|
ayes. Grit-sand - pluck = Sparts
courage and fortitude. / let none Of u
know how bad actually was. but ju
shut my teeth and determined to hv
and here Is the resait Of il An MI
Bowser. ifyou only bad hundredth pa