The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1892-04-09
AT TIE WORLDS FALL
Queer Things Seen and Heard by
the Guardians.
Among the Visitors Are Representatives
Of ALI Nations and the Ohicials
Are Taking In Languages
by Absorption.

The men who cavort at the gateways
of the worlds fair grounds, with silver
stars distributed like official plaques
over their august persons, have varie-
gated time of it. To them come the
drippings from many countries and the
SAVIOR of strange lands across the seas,
and divers and sundry odd specimens in
Americas own album of curiosit;es.
They are getting used to it, says the
Chicago Tribune. At least so they say,
and are full of wise reflections on the
denizens Of foreign speaking nations.
One man is laying up trouble for him
self. He is making collection of cards.
Almost every man, woman or child who
comes to inspect the site of the great
fair, to stumble over the uneven ridges
of earth, to get blown about by winds
from the lake, to wax angry because
interior of the buildings are forbidden
ground, all these are nearly sure to
leave piece of pasteboard.
Unique enough the collection will be,
no doubt, but think of its dimensions!
At first it seems quite funny to find "A.
John Smith from every quarter OF the
habitable globe, often marked under a
queerness of spelling, but still John
Smith - plain John Smith - when
stripped of all the fanciful tissue papers
of it's photography.
Interesting too, perhaps, to find the
various occupations participated in by
these gentlemen OF the adjustable name
for, mark ye-most of the cards left
arc fraught with business intent.
When he has run the gamut of tinker,
tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor
man, beggar man, priest he begins
again on a new list: Doctor, lawyer,
merchant, chief"
Oh, there is simply no end to him. and
the gatekeepers cup of cards will fill
till it runneth over, and he will get
clothesbasket for the reception of the
little printed cardboard fiends which
torment him. Then, as the fair grows,
and more people come, and cards fall
mas, a whole town will needs be given
up to their accommodation, and that
will be glorious excuse for turning
friends adrift.
But time will wreak the revenge the
disappointed relatives dare not. The
encroachment will go on until the gate
keepers family sleep in the woodshed,
on the roof, anywhere.
1T length, naayhap, the newspapers
will have an opportunity for busting off
the ''display'' head which is kept in
type, ''Cards Ruin Another Life" and
the unfortunate mans last resting place
will be covered with futte1ing leaves,
as were the babes in the woods by the
kind Robin Redbreasts. Only his will
be white-not green-a contrast being
preferred to a match.
Languages the gatemen are taking iii
by absorption, but they were nonplused
py-looking group approached the gates
and the leader began talking u,errily on
his fingers.
Somehow the men with the silver
plaques took a sudden interest in the
outlying landscape about that time,
and the one betlecked Individual who
was pinioned to the spot by the arrow
of duty raised his voice very high in
deed in explanation OF the fact that
and eyes, and was said to have a par
ticu]arly expressive gait, carrying on a
digital conversation was altogether be-
You'd his linguistic capacity.
The interrogation needed, though he
heard not, and Immediately wrote a
note saying that they were party OF
deaf mutes from New York. who would
like to view the grounds. They had nc
permit, not knowing the red-tapeism
which doth hedge the fair, but they
were passed with alacrity, the gate
keeper arguing sagely that Il person
who couldn't voice a falsehood was GER
tainly to be trusted.
''And they were real happy" he said
afterwarC, with wonder, land that full
of fun and laughter. the ladies of the
party especially. Fancy a. woman not
being able to talk and still having the
heart to Taught
The gatekeeper is usually shrewd in
his way and sizes up the corners much
as he would samples of potatoes or early
grain.
''You see, the people who visit here
from a distance are pretty we'll Off and
represent the better classes" said one
meditatively. '"rhe time for touts and
questionable characters is not yet.
But of all foreigners who come none
are so American as the English. Oh.
don't mean only in speech, for they
really talk about the same. these high
class people, and don't drop their his, >
though they do use queer words and
talk about the trans, their luggage
and their 'waistcoats.' But that is all.
Their clothes fit nearly as well as
the Americans do. and they keep their
hair cut.
''And that reminds me- he went on.
cot couple who came here last week.
She was very young, as pretty girl as
I ever saw--slender. with big, blue
eyes, and pale, golden hair that kept
slipping down on her white neck. Her
companion was an old man, so decrepit
that she had to support him as they
passed through the gates, and guided
his tottering footsteps the little way he
walked about the grounds. And do yon
1>ro1r1 cha 1xos his wife Thew told mo