New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1892-05-18

Il u0IaSIeneQ. SO 6a8f
This is where my burglar got in, z
Iexplained
i Next opened the sideboard
i drawers and rather disturbed their
contents.
No use. Mr.. Burglar, / laughed,
sssilver is all upstairs. !,
was becoming quite interested in
''my burglar" by this time. / pictur-
ed him as tall and cross-eyed, with a
scar on his left cheek. I would know
him anywhere if I met hin-as there
was no danger Of my doing.
In going through the hall disar-
ranged the rugs, as person would be
likely to do i'll making hasty exit.
Upstairs upset the contents Of three
bureau-drawers in a heap on the floor
feloniously purloining some empty
purses
/ The scenery now being ready it was
high time for the actors to make
up" Rouge? Out OF the question.
Lilywhite? With discretion; it would
never do to have the water they might
dash in my face run off like city milk.
Hair, loose and dishevelled as brush
| could make it. Bruises? Well, / did
| try them with ink, but not being much
OF an artist decided to omit them. A
few rents in an old gown added con
siderably to my picturesque appear
ance
| Ten o'clock and eight minutes. All
ready? Ring up the curtain while I
| bring@in the audience
Ihurriedly ran downstairs, turned
out the hall lamp and threw the front
door wide open. No one in sight.
threw an empty purse upon the stoop
and hurried to the telephone. I rang
violently, then dropping the earplece
where | allowed it to remain, I scream
| ed:
Burglars! Burglars! Burglars!!
Help! My husband! Sniffins! Call him!
Help! O-o-h!''
Still screaming and calling as left
the phone" hustled about with q
couple of chairs, making distracting
noise. Then hearing approaching foot
steps. threw myself upon the floor
and lay apparently swooning.
In rushed Fred, the Sniffins and sew
eral others.
How was it?" Did they get any
thing? Are you hurt? How many were
there? How did they get in? Where
did he get out?" were only few Of
the questions asked at once.
AS could not answer all [ merely
screamed.
OF course, Fred was frightened
about me, SO to keep his interest up l
had a regulation attack OF Mysteries.
[ really could not help them. l was
so suffocated with laughter. 1t was
such fun to see them so excited! l had
fully intended to tell them in a few
minutes, but Fred enjoyed himself so
hugely, he was in such delightful
state OF Importance 1 had not the
heart to crush him.
| By the time l was completely re
stored and had washed off the powder
and fixed my hair the neighbors came
in for particulars I brought out re-
! freshments, and Fred told a hundred
times how he found me fain ting, and
that he was certain the thief had en-
tered the kitchen window
Really, it was the most pleasant
evening we had passed for months,
and 'Mollie's burglar" was boon to
the neighborhood. 1t is needless to
say he was never found.
The following night Fred took me
to the theater ''To cheer me UP, !"
he said. For several nights following
the neighbors called to inquire. These
calls had to be returned, and every
evening found us among our friends.
My theatricals were a lasting success.
AS time passed could not fail to
see that Fred regarded me ais quite adj
vanced in years, though I had Just
reached the quar- ter OF a century mark.
lie began to pay attentions to the
young ladies hemet in society. Icould
not say he hirted, but it looked very
much like that popular amusement:
"Mollie," Fred said to me one day.
III would not dance so much if / were
YOU
"Why?" / innocently asked.
Because, my dear, when woman
gets to be your age it is really better
taste to sit down most of the time
and make room for the girls
81 will sit down every dance with
you, Fred" I responded, beaningly.
He frowned.
81 did not mean exactly that, Mol
lie. OF course [ would prefer it, but
there are generally so few dancing men
l feel it my-ahem!-duty to dance"
"That is very thoughtful Of you,
dear, and since it is at best only a
disaggreeable duty, be sure you dance
with that homely Miss Smith; she so
seldom has partner
He said nothing, but slammed the
door rather hard as he went out, and
it is needless to say his nseof duty
did not lead to poor Miss Smith.
There was no question in my mind
that he was very much interested in
one Of that seasons "buds," a girl
favoring Of read-and- butter and the
school-room. Men display such pc.
culiar taste in such matters Oh
course was foolish to be Jealous OF
F'red's harmless attentions, still they
were such as he would not have liked
me to receive. | knew jealousy was
the medicine Fred needed, but how to
administer it was the problem
Flirt myself? / would not; / had too
| much self-respect for that.
| An inspiration! My medicine, like
/ IL