The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-06-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A whaling outft-The birch rod.
The bacillus has become famous for his
i'll naturalization Transcript
When one jumps at n conclusion he
rarely reaches it.-Dallas News.
II you want to keep up with the times
you must go slow.-Dallas News.
II is unkind to refer to the choir boy
as a note shaver. Washington Star.
The least overworked institution in
this country is the Office that seeks the
man.-Life.
Money is not exactly a religious article,
but still 1t has denomination Of its
own.-Rochester News.
The man who points out our faults to
us is true friend but we feel like kick
ing him just the same.-Puck.
1t is not every bicycle rider who can
lower the record, but it is poor bicycle
that cannot lower the rider.-Truth.
Waiter-"Will you have salt on your
eggs9" Guest-'No, thank you.
They're not at all fresh. Pick Me Up.
If you have rowed against the tide,
And all your ready cash is spent; %,
II you have nothing left but pride
The landlords sure to raise the rent.
Said Franklin, "He who takes a wife
takes care" Therefore, my son, take
care and do not take a wife, Boston
Transcript.
Mrs. Enpec-'You cannot say l did
the courting; you were crazy to marry
me-" Enpec 81 must have been--a
gibbering lunatic. New York Herald.
The rooster now his rival hunts
With crow and proud parade
He quite forgets his mother once
Laid him in :he shade.
Truth.
There is no perfect state in this world.
While the poor man has no food for his
stomach it often happens that the rich
man has no stomach for his food.-Bos-
ton Transcript
Person in Authority-"And how do
you like going to school, boy'" The
Coming Mani like gon' well 'nufT;
it's the sto Npin' wen | gets there hol-
lers at."-Fun.
Dressmaker-"MissF Fussbudget, will
you have your dress cut with trainl"
Miss Fussbudget-"Yes; but for good.
less's sakes have it an accommodation.
Springfield Union.
Primus-"They didn't think my
speech was cut and dried, did theyl"
Secundus-"No; they wouldn't possibly
think any of it had been cut. Kate
Fields Washington.
Dicker--'I am told that " u is a
very different man IN his family ,han on
the street." Boud-"Yes; Mrs. Wahl says
he's bull on the street and bear at
home. New York Herald.
He wrote a weather poem,
Full of sentiment and wit,
And the weather promptly shifted,
SO the poem wouldn't fit
Washington Star.
II } amusing to watcn a man working
his head of to save money to buy a
home, while another who owns home,
is trying to sell it a. sacrifice in or'er
to save money by boarding.-PIck.
Bachelor--"Say, Henpecque, as your
wife is away lets go to lectum to.
night" Benedict (shudderin0
thanks; prefer chang from my usual
domestic routine. Irts 90 TO a deaf
aud dumb asylum. New YORK tour.
nal.
He-"Do you Ger mean to -larT "
She-"Perhaps III, ! some time" lie
-"Haye you aaade up your mnG wh1
the man will DeY" She" "Meicy no o.
He-"Still you think you'll macy
somebody some timel" SIe-'I may
lie (dC5perately)-"Well. what's tho
matter with meG"-Somei journal.
A dissipated ca man applied at the
Quar;ermaster Office in San Antoro,
Texas, for aposition as clerk. DO you
know anything about general manage
ment of the oflice2" asked the officer.
'Do l know anythiu, about General
Management | shouli smile. knew
him when he was Lieutenant. .'--TeXas
She sits her down eLl 'ith much caro-
Proceeds 10 scan the bill Of fare.
She reads IL up, she read IL dUwu,
Aud needless II the wli-eI's frown.
She gently igts an! turns it DER
And II she tho: ght Ghere yh )Lld b3 more
Aud then ex laims, Please t.ing 70 me
A biscuit ald a cup of tea"
Washington Star.