The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-01-21
MISCELLANEOUS.

~ AAcuG SuSpSuU0u: cACl61l0cU LILO
western man who arrived just in time
to SEQ a debtor hoisted by the vigilance
committee. -Washingto Star:
"A girl in Norway must be able to
bake bread before she can have q beau.
Tho one who takes the cake as . cook 10
considered the flower of the family
N. O. Picayune.
-Lady-"Lizette, you are not going
ont like that, are you? You smell SO
horribly of turpentine." Cook-"You
see, mum, couldn't find any other sort
Of perfume in the house. "-Dorfbarbier
-She-"Mrs. Jonesby says her great
grandfather was very patriotic in the
revolution. and that all the family plato
was sacrificed to the cause" He
Moulded into cannon, was it?''-Har-
per's Bazaar.
-Nassau-"Why did you leave DR..
Flipsey's church?' Beekman-"He in
troduced the new high church idea of
kneeling, and my tailor positively re-
fuses to give me any more credit
Brooklyn Eagle.
-Tommy-"What's juggler, Uncle
Dick?' Uncle Dick-''Why, Tommy?
I'm surprised at your not KNOWN the
meanin' er that word. A juggler is a
farmer that retails hard cider by the
joyful boston Courier:
Very Bad Form.-Jack Dresser
There IVES an unusual hustle on Wash
ington street this afternoon" Mrs.
Dresser - Unusual! Well, l should
hope SO. Didn't the poor thing know
that they aren't worn any more?'-Bos-
ton Post.
The suns time is too fast by clock
time on Nov. by 16 minutes and 20 Sec
onds. and Feb. - it is slow by nearly
14>9 minutes. There is only four days
in the year when sun and clock time
agree. viz: April Is, June Is, Sept /
and Dec. -.
-Vancouver's Island was named
Quadra, and Vancouver's Island. by
Vancouver, who in 1892 negotiated with
Quadra, the Spanish commandant OF
the coast, for the surrender of the
Nootka region to the British. In 1916
it was secured to the latter by the
United States by the Oregon treaty.
Col Bildcrwick Ito his wife's dress
maker)-"How is it that my tailor
never calls for his account under six
months, but you want your money at
once?' Decentralization forget, sir,
the number of months it takes to make
the alterations on your wife's gowns
before they are delivered. "-Clothicr
and Furnisher.
"A hitherto unknown stone has been
found in the mining districts of Candle
laria, in Nevada 1t is of a dark green
color and takes on a very high polish
and is classed by the state geologists as
''sariscite Several beautiful orna-
mcnts have been produced from it, but
so far it has not been found in any con-
siderable quantity.
The "Seven Golden Cities" one of
the most popular legends of the latter
part of the Ozark Ages were said to
be situated on an island west of the
African coast The island is represent
ed as Astounding in gold, with magnifi-
cent houses and temples, 1.-The high
towers of which shone at a great dis
lance"
A New Call.-New Yorxer-"I
wanted to get off at One Hundred and
Sixteenth street. Why didn't you call
it off, Conductor-'I did, sir. I called
out One Hundred and Sixteenth street
as plain as could be-" New Yorker
Hum! No wonder didn't notice it. If
you'd yelled out 'Umerumerum-stecnt
strut I'd have known what you
meant. IN. Y. Weekly.
-1nventor-'O, the fatality Of things!
Here have an invulnerable, non atmo-
spheric, spectacular, retroactive, non
reverberating, non-osciiiatory watch,
perfect in detail and mechanism; and
yet / am almost starving" Friend
''Why don't you sell the patent?' In
ventor-"TEe fools won't buy it, just
because it won't keep time '-Jewelers'
Circular.
The peculiar custom of lovers break
ing a piece Of money, each retaining
one-half as a token of remembrance,
has come down from ancient times
Long before Europe and Asia were
provided with inns or public houses Of
entertainment, it was the custom for
travellers to seek lodgings with private
householders, and on parting pebble,
ring, piece of money or other token was
broken, each taking half and retain
ing it, that the host at some future
time, if necessary, might claim a re-
turn of hospitality by presenting the
token.
There was great suffering of
Chinese in San Francisco police court
some days ago. Fifteen speculative
Mongolians had been arrested for risk
ing their coin in the seductive game of
fan-tan, and the court was crowded
with their countrymen, all eager to
witness the trial The examination
was short, and it was decrccd that the
prisoners should each pay fine of SIS.
By this time the spectators and the
prisoners had become inextricablv
mixed; the officers resortei to the ex-
pedient of grabbing the fifteen China
men nearest the door, and the wise
judge forced them to pay the fine
A man of solemn visage entered a
Kings county elevated railroad car yes
terday afternoon, dropped into the only
vacant seat, and was welcomed with a
bland smile by a year-old baby across
the aisle, who pointed her finger at him
and exclaimed a dozen times: Papa,
papa" woman who was with the
mother of the infant remarked in a
hoarse whisper: what u remarkable
resemblance" Every body smiled, and
the man was inclined to treat the baby's
attentions as joke until she insisted
upon going to him, aud kicked and
screamed because her mother had other
views. Then the favored man be~an to
think the situatio was uncomfortable
and he retreated into the next car amid
general litter.
HIS HEROINE.
He Had Made u study OF But One Woman.
ut seems to me-" said the young
business man to the successful writer,
s"that l see one character that runs
through nearly all of your stories.''
1T may be-" said the writer dreamily