Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-11-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A fire escaps--Insurance. ce.--Puck.
Better off-The man who is forced to
ride q rail.-New York Journal.
The victim of lynch law is usually
very high strung. g.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The rain always falls on the just when
the unjust has walked off with his UNI
brella.-New York Journal
"Did you know his business had run
down2" al supposed so. heard he was
going to wind it ."-Nast's Weekly
A mans friends never find out just
how big fool he can be until he gets
up to his neck in politics. RAMS Horn.
The man who always stops to think
what he is going to say seldom says ex-
actly what he thinks.-Somerville Jour-
nal.
az wonder why the Mediterranean is
so blue2" ''You'd be blue if you had to
wash the Italian shore. Lilies Calen-
dar.
Gas terrible as an army with banners
has no reference to a political parade,
although the banners are terrible enough.
New York Herald.
The great value In astronomy rs a
science, morally speaking also, is that it
tends to make people look higher
Philadelphia Times.
.sIt is the little things of life that
count" said the man who realized how
much noise ten-pouud baby can make.
Washington Star.
"Mudge is still looking for snap, l
suppose2" "Yes, but he doesn't seem
to have the necessary ginger to make it.
Indianapolis Journal.
Mother-"Do you know why your pa
called Mr.. Blowhard liar, Tommys"
Tommy he's smaller man
than pa."-Brooklyn Life.
There are men with natures so small
that, if there is anything in transmigra-
tion, they will probably appear as mi
crobes. Washington Star.
It would do away with great deal
of trouble IN this world If the gray was
more evenly divided between the inside
and the outside of the skull.-Chicago
Intcr-Ocean.
We have noticed that good people
usually wait until guest has repeated
all the gossip she knows before admon-
ishing her on the sinfulness of gossiping.
Atchison Globe.
First Office Boy--"That dentist in
room 4S don't seem to do much bus
iness." Second Office Boy" Whyw
First Office Boy--''I never hear anybody
yelling in there. Yankee Blade.
Publisher-"I wish you would write
us good sea story" Great Author
"But have never been to sea-" Pub
lisher-"I know it. want sea story
that people can understand. "-Tit-Bits.
He-"Why is it that men are not given
to saying spiteful things of other mem-
bers of their sex as women area" She
81 suppose it is because they are too
busy Dragging about themselves. y
indianapolis Journal.
The Boston girl never hollers "hello"
at the mouth of telephone. She simply
says, as she puts the receiver to her ear,
s'I take the liberty of addressing you
via a wire surcharged with electricity"
Texas Siftings.
Bertha breaks her doll and it is sent
out to be repaired. A few days later
Bertha goes TO the store after it, but 1T
cannot be found. "Her name is Mar
guerite." she explains to facilitate the
search.-Paris Figaro. aos
Customer next February)-'tI want
fifty cents worth of coal, II you please. y
Coal Dealer-"You'll have to go across
the street IL you want an order OF that
kind filed. We don't sell less than one
lump. p."-Chicago Tribune.
&c." said the father, ''you desire my
consent to my daughters engagement to
you" "No," replied Algernon, who
spent the summe: at the seashore, tive
don't want to be engaged. We want to
get married. Washington Star.
Hell can't make up my mind what
TO get for my new suit. want some.
thing that, as Shakespeare says, Will
proclaim what kind of man am. " She
why don't you get some dull ma