The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-12-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
OF course a young woman expects to
be killing when she puts on a kilt
Fun.
1t takes a master stroke to smooth
down a rebellious schoolboy.-Texas
Siftings.
About all some people want with re-
lirion is to make them feel good
Rams Horn.
When the head Of a mortal gets turned
It is always turned the wrong way
Galveston News.
Many wise man has picked up good
suggestion where some fool dropped it.
Galveston News.
Figures wont lie, but they are as clay
to the potter in the hands of an expert
Boston Transcript.
"She's very upright young lady"
ayes, but she's bent on matrimony." -
Philadelphia Record.
A man who lives fast cannot expect
that enjoyment will keep up with him.
Binghamton Republican.
"Was the pug dog mad that the po.
liceman shot" "Gee, whiz no; but the
woman that owned him was. Inter
Ocean.
Forrester--"How time does hy."
Lancaster--"T don't blame it. Think
how many people there are trying to kill
it."-Brooklyn Life.
At Home: Jack Dashing Cangrily)--
"Pen, have found you Quit" Penelope
Peachblow (yawning)-"I really wish
you had, Jack. New York Herald.
When on his hobby once he mounts,
He'll chatter by the hour.
His eloquence is not what counts;
1t is his staying power,
Washington Star.
AS a rule, man who has a moustache
he can twist, or whiskers he can stroke,
is three times as long making up his
mind as one who hasn't. 't.-Atchison
Globe.
"Was your son graduated at the head
of his clsssi' "No, indeed. He was in
a much more responsible posltion--at
the very foundation of it."--Black and
White.
Walking is said to be the best exer.
else for brain workers, and it is worthy
of note that brain workers can seldom
afford to do anything else. -Bosten
Globe.
Mrs. Coldwater-"I wonder why he
doesn't try holding his breath when he
has hiccoughs." Jaglets-'I guess it's
most too strong for him. Chicago
Inter Ocean.
"Wel, this is fought" exclaimed Jack
Frost. "What isI" asked the man 10
the moon. "IIere is a newspaper allud-
ing to me as Jack the Nipper. Indian
apolis Journal.
"Why is it that Mr.. Hardy proved
such fiat failure in society" "That's
easy enough to answer. lie talked sense
when out at social functions. Chicago
News Record.
He-"A woman can't conceal her
feelings She-"Can't, eh? She can
kiss woman she hates. He-"Yes,
but she doesn't fool the woman any,
Brandon Banner.
"Do you think it is n symptom of in
sanity for a man to talk to himself2"
"Not necessarily. 1t may be merely
good -natured liberation of poor society,""
Washington Star.
Wife (excitedlO--"Tf you 90 on like
this shall certainly lose my temper. "
Husband-''No danger, my dear. A
thing of that size is not easily lost. -
Commercial Bulletin.
1t does not follow that mau is super
ior to his fellows because he makes an
impression in society. The dull razor
is most successful in making its presence
known. Boston Transcript.
''Do you see double" asked the oculisi
who was examining Farmer Folders
eyes. "of course l do" replied the
farmer. II have two eyes, haven't l.n
Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Van Arndt-"She told me it was her
first year out" Maid Why,
she's been out four seasons" Van A
"Ah, well, she counts four seasons the
year, l suppose. Kate Fields Wash
ingtOn,
A Jersey City official who is in tho
coal business, and has been underselling
his neighbors, has been put under arrest
for selling light tons, and is now likely
to learn something about the famous
weigh of the transgressor. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Jimmy-"Cau you talk, Mr.. Flyppl"
Mr.. Flypp-"Yes, Of course l eau. Why
did you askp Jimmie-''Why, cause
| heard mamma say that your voice was
drowned last night at the concert, and
that she was just awful glad of it.
Chicago Inter-Ocean
Mrs. Goodluck-'I don't believe l
ever missed any one as | do Mrs. Iii.
tone" Mrs. Dasher--'I didn't know
that you were acquainted with her."
Mrs. Goodluck-'I wasn't exactly, but
we had the same washerwomau aud we
have been exchanging handke chiefs for
4 long time. ."-Inter-O Ocean.