San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1892-02-04
SATURDAY SETTINGS.
Sharp Sayings and singular Senten-
Go. cd In

L
pills.
The slugger makes money hand over
fist
You can't measure a girls love by
| its signs.
The beggar is generally an open
handed fellow.
Living in a garnet may be said to be
a rheumatic difficulty.
What kind of robbery is not danger
GUS? A safe robbery, of course?
Why is the letter X like q pigs
tail? Because 1t is the end Of pork.
Who was the first aesthetic?
Balaam's ass, when 1t was made "toO
inter-"
The book that makes the greatest
| stir in society Is the weli.hlled
| pOcketboot.
Hops go into beer at brewerias and
beer goes into men at hops.
The bald headed man is generally
admitted to be very clear. headed.
The confidence man who swindles
clergymen may be called "shep-
herds crook"
Girls who wears feathers around
their necks nowadays are not all
chickens.
Norman can lift himself by his boot
tops, but he can easily pull himself
down by his chin.
| There's many a man who would
run away if he didn't have to take
himself along.
Job was probably the most preco-
cious child on record. He cursed the
day he was born.
Jones calls the lamp at his board
ing use 1.-THE Pennsylvania" be-
cause 1t IL such noted oil-scenter.
| A pickpocket may be very expert at
his business, and yet be considered as
just getting his hand in"
sssWhen man tells you he would
like to have you criticise his faults,
you have found another hypocrite.
A poet says that baby is "a new
wave on the ocean OF life" "a
fresh squalp' would express the idea
better.
| Inquiring cbild-Papa, why do peo-
pie cry at weddings? Papa (abstract
edly)-Most of 'em have been married
themselves.
People who have seen two lovers
saying good-by never have any
trou BILE afterward in believing in eter-
nifty.
You can fiatter any man by telling
him that you know him to be man
who g not easily flattered.
You say your present boss treats
you better than Mr.. Smith," "Yis,
sorr, and uftener."
De Smithers-D Do you object to col
ored walters at the club? Bjones-I
only object to green onss.
The female spiritualistic medium
never exposes herself That is to say,
she never goes out without her
wraps.
Papa" said a little girl, lam /
| made of dust?" '"No, my child. If
you were, you would dry up once in a
| while"
Most people laugh not when they
want to, but when hey think people
imagine they ought to.
There are two places where it re-
quires an effort to keep ones balance
| -ou ice and at the bank.
An unpledged legislator may have
"a head of his own" but other men
are making desperate efforts to get
| his ear
During the earlier part of an affair
| of the heart, the man makes most of
| the love; after that the woman does a
good deal of it. ~
An anti crank bill has been intro
duced into congress. The farmers
boy II be anxious to know ii it in
cludes the grindstone.
Life is made of compensations. By
the time q man is old enough TO real
ize what lot he does not know be Is
TOO old to worry over 1t.
A woman can give much more adj
vice about how to keep bus bands
love on the first anniversary Of her
marriage than she can at her silver
wedding.
Our government is making q dill
gent search for smokeless powder.
Has its emissaries never attended q
fashionable ball?
First Irishman-Pore Flanagan has
Just been drowned. Second Irishman
He's lucky bhoy. Oh always
thought he'd be hanged.
She-Aud you will always love
me? All the live long day? He
Ye- es, L wilt will. But, oh, give
me q chance to stop for meals.
One of the specimens of Italian art
conspicuous in this councry is the
facile dexterity by which short
measure is given in nickePs worth
of peanuts.
L put outside my window a large
box, filled 1t with soil and sowed it
with saads. what do Won think came