davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

i /Jody think lightly of the itin-
i bostlc CT bargains known COLO
s us the festive drummer, urges the
- orleans Picuyune. There are $780,
2 s/CNim, according to the latest re-
7.ports, an&1 during twclvc-month Ii,
maketh hin lsclfrcsponsible for 300, oOo,-
600 of the 100000, 600 tons annually
shipped on American railroads. He also
maiieth away daily with 81, ESQ, 900 oil
his employers money, charging it to cx-
penses; or, in the nine months of his
yearly activity, nearly 1882, 900, 900.
The drummer is cmphatically n great
institution, both rs to deeds and power
of telling them.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
THEN MIR. pIKKuAM scowLED.

MIR. Pinkham--'How do you do, Mrs.
Willis? You are the last person I ex-
pected to see in Florence"
Mrs. Why, if it isn't Mr..
Pinkham! Yes, we are spending the
winter here. You must call on us often.
You know just how it. is---persons VIC
never think much of while at home seem
like dear friends when we meet them in
strange place. wallpapers Basay.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

England may yet have to go to war,
suggests the Buffalo Espress, in order to
give her soldiers something to think of
besides mutiny. That was the reason
why Louis Napoleon's wars were fought.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

1t is said that tho wealthy people Of
Mexico are getting more aud moro into
the habit of travelling in the United
States rather than in Europe. Up to the
time of the completion of the Mexican
Central Railway Mexican travellers were
much more familiar with London than
with New York or Chicago.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
WHAT SHE WAS WAITING ron.

81 understand, Mrs. Sassafras, that
you are the owner of hen which laid
I'm egg with fivc-cent piece in it one day
and the day following one containing
dime"
81 am, SIR"
81 represent dime museum, and
would like to buy your hen."
mo dime museum can touch that
fowl, sir. I'm waiting for British
syndicate to make me an offer, sir.
Good morningl"- Epoch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
CONTAGIOUS IN ruEIn cAsE.

Mr.. Noopop--"Doctor,l is insomnia con
tagiousG"
DIR. Parcsis-"Certainly not, sir. What
makes you ask that2"
Mr.. Noopop--"Becausc noticed that
when baby is troubled with insomnia,
my wife and invariably catch it, too.
Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
ENCOURAGING HIM.

Brother Jack-"l asked Virginia Cooper
to marry me and sue said there was too
great discrepancy in our ages"
Sister-"How old is Virginia"
Brother Jack-"Twenty-th three"
Sistcr-"And you're nineteen. So lust
wait two years and you'll both be twenty
one. "-Juelge.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
lie WILL COLLECT THE INTEREST.

"Now this is an event of interest to
me-" exclaimed Staggers, CHANGING up
from the newspaper.
"What is ]" asked his wife.
"a company in which am stock
holder announce dividend. "-Detroit
Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
i"Good roads are the best proof OF an
Intelligent Government" opires the
Providence Or. ~ Journal.

4 : The Boston Transcript AYERS that less
shan twenty-five per cent. of the freight
trade of the country is carried on by
vessels flying tho "Stafs and Stripes"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

i'here was once young woman of Chester,
Who was eager to sing when one pressed her;
When she once got start
She would sing with such art
That it TOOK twenty men 10 arrest her.
-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
IN THE PosroFEIcE.

"Home again." said the postmaster to
the returning stamp clerk.
Eyes, back to my old stamping ground, f"
and he took his place at the window. -
Detroit free Press
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

Husband-"Mrs. Tiptop's dinner was
grand, wasn't it2''
Wifc--'I didn't enjoy it."
"Why not2"
"MY new dress was so tight couldn't
cot anything. "--Ne'o York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
BRAINLESS.

BRAINLEsS.
"They say Robinson has water on the
brain"
"Where did he get it2"
"What-the water2"
"No-the brain. Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
CAUSE FOR APPREHENSION.

Jack-"What is the matter2 Did
Maud say she'd be sister to you'll"
Tom-"No; but after she Ind
accepted me, we broke the news to the
old folks, and Mrs. Iulaw said she'd be
n mother to me."-PucE.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
A SOFT ANSWER.

"Are you ailing2" babbled the brook.
mot much" gurgled the spring.
"Still yelling. "-Nc,o York Sun.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
HOW HE LOST IT.

Jangle-"Poor, Tableigh lost half of his
fortune by that last failure of his"
Bangle-"So bad as that?"
Janglo-"Yes; he was forced to com
promise at fifty cents on the dollar. -
Detroit Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
FOSTERING CARE.

Kittie Winslow-"Wny don't you let
your mousta che grow, Mr.. Boysen2"
Mr.. Boysen-"Let it grow! Why, my
dear Miss Winslow, nun Offering it
every inducements -Lits.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
A HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR.

II HVHSf OF .hNOTIIEN COLOR.
Little Johnnic-"There's q man ut the
door with u bill"
Brown-"Tell him I'm not at home. !"
Little Johnnie-"But it's five dollar
bill he says he owes ."-Epoch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS sKETouEs FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

On Enthusiastic nIusician-A Soft
Answer-A Horse OF Another
Color-Cause for Appre-
hensioD, Etc. Etc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12
INDIGNANT AT LAST.

Customer-"Mr. Briggs. there seems
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-12

A simple and practical method Of
applying electricity to railroading has
been invented by French electrician.
The steam engine used supplies the
electric power to motors in each car of
the train, and not to the locomotive
proper. This relieves the tremendous
strain on the driving wheels OF the loco
motive.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
A Good Report.

In 40 counties the Topeka Capitals
reports for January showed 1927 sos
mortgage releases over those filed.
In summing up these reports from
official sources, the Capital says: at IL
manifest first, that those farmers who
are In debt, estimated by the late
federal census TO be three-fifths OF the
farm population, are rapidly reducing
their obligation, and second that those
who are out Of debt or but slightly
encountered are taking advantage OF
the prosperity following the abundant
yield Of last year TO purchase more
land. Fifty-seven counties for All
average period OF eight and half
months have released nearly $4,000
900 OF farm mortgages not including
foreclosures. Some Of these have been
renewed for the whole amount and
many for a reduced amount, but the
net reduction, even in excess Of pur.
chase money mortgages by farmers
who are buying land, is over %, O00.-
nOO ~
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
Cleveland and Hill.

The war between Grover Cleveland
and ID. b. Hill has begun in earnest.
Both want the democratic nomination
for the presidency; aud one must kill
of the other, to accomplish the pur-
pose In his own behalf. Hills mid.
winter convention has won though IL
has evoked great opposition; and will
have the effect Of weakening Hill, II
he should be nominated, through the
evaporation Of Cleveland democrats.
In Kentucky sentiment has been
measured and is found about ten to
one In favor OF Cleveland. In New
Jersey the Cleveland democrats are
acting promptly. They will send out
10000 circulars asking the pledge Of
democrats for Cleveland, and against
Hil's policy. In other states the
battle goes on with the odds greatly In
favor of Cleveland. But New York is
pivotal state;" and we shall see
how much this argument will do in the
national convention When held.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
KANSAS REPUBLICAN LEAGUE
Largo Attendance Upon the Convention
Mt IOpeka-Thn ProcnedInra

Large Attendance Upon the Convention
at Topska-Ths Proceedings
TOPEKA, March a-Scores OF dele
gates to the state republican league
convention either occupied chairs In
the hotel Hobbies Monday night or rest
lessly walked the streets
When President Bailey called the
convention TO order delegates packed
the floor of Representative hall and
visitors we're pressed in the lobbies and
galleries like sardines In box. Be-
tween the speakers desk and the re-
porters' table reserved space was
hlled with ferns and other plants.
AT the rear OF the speakers
desk hung picture OF President
Harrison. II was placed Immediately
over the clock A picture OF James q.
Blaine was hung TO the right of the
speakers desk and Liucoln's picture
was on the left In front of the speak
er's desk was the draped picture OF ex.
Senator Plumb
The covered timepiece had given no
warming OF the passing hours and II
was II o'clock before the gavel fell.
Rev. John A. Bright chaplain of the
senate, who was asked TO open the con-
vention with prayer, asked permis-
sion to change the programme. lie
thought that the beautiful surround
ings were sufficient to inspire every
patriot heart and asked the convention
to join him In singing America" The
preacher lined out MY Country, It's
OF Thee" and everybody joined Ia the
singing Tho convention then pro.
ceeded to business
committee Of five on credentials
and committee OF two from each con.
gressional district on resolutions were
then appointed by the chair without
wasting anv time In talk, aud the COM
mittees retired TO consider their no.
port
I'll committee on resolutions which
will have the honor OF drafting the
first expression of Kansas republicans
during this campaign year. consists Of
the following gentlemen: w X. Nell
son, OF Smith county; Frank Lockard,
OF Nortoni j. C. Hogan, Of Republic; J. G.
Maltby, of Ottawa; W. A. Trigg, of An
derson; Il Robinson, OF jackson; Henry
Elliston, OF Atchison; Judge Graves, of
Lyon; j. g. Sloneclter, of Shawnee; NJ.
Albaugh, OF Kingman; w. S. Allen, Of
Harper; Ed Il, Greer Of Cowley and NJ.
G. Kelley, OF Crawford
While the committees were out ].
Ralph Burton was called to the plat
form, A recess was then taken until
. o'clock.
Immediately upon tho reassembliup
Of the convention at $3.50 o'clock the
committee on order OF business re mort
cd, after which the committee on reso.
lutions submitted the platform and
elected delegates TO the national
league convention.
Ed G Little, OF Abilene, was elected
president Of the league by acclamn.
ton.
The convention elected the following |
9essgessg ~ iafke 10 Tie qtAaaSl
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
The Balance Of Power,

The Kansas City Times has figured
out the alliance scheme Of welding
the balance OF power In the coming
election. The plan suggested is us
follows: Kansas, Nebraska and Min
nesota, for instance, shall secure
twenty electors for Wea yer. The
republicans secure 2l2 and the demo-
crats 2l2. 1t requires 223 votes for the
electoral college TO confer title. II
these chosen electors vote for their
respective party candidates there is no
election and the house will unquestion.
ably choose the democratic nominee.
To hold the balance of power and Ia
exert IL with effect 10 OF the 90 Weaver
electors must offer their support to one
OF the leading candidates. This Is the
scheme broached ut st. Louis, and
there may be something in 1t. Should
Weaver consent to "a trade, or should
10 OF the 20 electors be open to q bust.
ness proposition, they could settle the
fight when the college met.
The possibility Of such result will
defeat IL. The people would condemn
any elector who should Idisobey his
instructions. Common honesty should
cause shame to the men who invented
scheme so contrary to right. The
plan is ingenious, but its suggestion
would prevent its success.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
A Good Investment.

Every little while, in fact about
sixteen times a day, you hear some
calamity tie proclaim on the streets that
though farmers may continue TO exiat
there is almost nothing to be made at
the avocation.
Secretary Mohler's report Just issued
shows that the total value of farm pro
ducts In Kansas last year, including
animals slaughtered and sold for
slaughter, aggregates $l89, sll 1872.
Excluding the acreage in grass and the
value OF animals slaughtered, the agri.
cultural products OF the state on an
area OF ll,35T 900 acres brought q
return of Sll.I0 an acre or 81 6S $3.50 800.
The total assessed valuation OF the
taxable lands Of the state is Sl0s, 2S5,-
1917, and the farmers produced last
year n million and half more than
this valuation. Whatever percentage
the assessed valuation is of the real
value, therefore, that is the percentage
OF profit on the investment. II 1t is rs
per cent which is the general estimate,
the farmers made an interest of rs per
cent on the investment. This repre-
sentS only the profits, the living of the
farmers and their families not being
Included. We are acquainted with
several businessmen Of Abilene who
would be satisfied with that rate Of
suffering.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
The Honors Were Secured.

The Republican League convention
at Topeka yesterday was the most
successful meeting Of the organiza
tons history, Nearly 1000 stalwart
young republicans we're gathered in
representative hall to set the ball
rolling for the campaign. And they
did 1t well, as the proceedings published
elsewhere, will show.
Abilene was honored In several ways.
L. @. Little, OF this city, was elected
president by reclamation. The con-
vention could have chosen no worthier
timber. Mr. Little has been q hard
worker for the League and for the
republican party and Is one Of the moe,
prominent young republicans Of the
state.
Mr.. Little was nominated by Ed
Hoch, Of Marion, seconded by q. f.
Scott, Of lola. lie made half hours
address that was brimfnl Of wit and
interest and was repeatedly cheered.
o. l.. Moore, Of Abilene, was elected
one Of the two delegates from th,
Fifth district to the National League
convention In New York City next
summer.
In addition to this J. Il. Burton was
the leading speaker Of the day as Mr.
Ingalls, was Of the evening. His sd
dress was cheered to the echo and wai
declared by all TO be- one OF the fnesl
political speeches to which the walls Of
representative hall ever resounded.
1t was n good day for Abilene. W,
predicted that the delegation woult
come home it'll honors. 1t was ever
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
The Farmer Not Suffering

Commissioner Brock, one of the
country's ablest statisticians, said in an
interview yesterday: CONSIDER for a
moment the usual history OF farm
Industries. The great majority OF the
west and northwest represent an in.
vesiment OF not to exceed 81 900 to
each. The farmer raises family Of
four or Eve children. IIe has cows,
horses, sheep and fowls of all kinds
lie has a good home, is well clothed
and has an abundance of the best food
for his table-much more abundant
and better than any other class Of
citizens. His farm furnishes him
his clothes, his food and schooling for
his children. lie has more real com.
forts, freedom from cares and more
restful sleep than any other class of
men. lilo is the most independent and
the most successful of men. After
twenty or thirty years his children
have grown up: they have been educat.
ed, ana with good, healthy cOnstitu-
tions start well in the world. In the
meantime the farmers locks and
herds have Increased, there have been
constant improvements, and the farm
is worth $4,000 to $50 900 instead of
$4,000 or $4,000"
Right here is where our farmers
forget their real benefits. They do
not count the blessings aud comforts
they have received but complain
because they have not a plethoric bank
account t. draw on. The business
man who receives $1,000 a year and
spends $3.50 for living has but $50 to
show for his years work. A farmer
doing a proportionately success full
business would have ten times that
amount.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

The political outlook for this secti" -
includes two or two or three pre- ,m,pent
gentlemen who are talke|. of for nomi.
na'ions, Among them is the Hon.
W. .. 0'aD laugh, who is generally
'ne"'i"- Led for state senator on the
~ publican ticket. Mr.. Stambaugh is
one Of the states best orators ard a
hard working and capable politician.
lie is a member of the law firm OF
Stambaugh, Hurd & Dewey and has a
wide acquaintance. II nominated he
will be easily elected. .- Topeka Capital
Correspondence.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

The st. Louis convention thinks
newspapers are subsidized and muz-
zled" and "a hireiing standing army,
uhrecognized by our laws,is established
to shoot down workingmen." Why
don't they tell it all while they are
about itY Why not note that every
capitalist is dressed in golden armor
and goes about ordering heads chopped
of whenever he pleases; that the state
governments make a practice Of
standing up 100 men and women in a
row every afternoon and having them
shot to death to amuse the officers and
that the president makes the people lie
on the streets so that he can step on
their bodies and not soil his shoes?
Tell big lie while you are about it.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

Tho papers Of ho state are dscussi re the
merits Of the various men and their qualih-
ca ions TO sit ON the supreue bench. This ii
waste Of tim and labor. TIL re seems 70
Bono inclination on tho part of any one
unless II wou be Mr.. Rightnire or Judge
Nicholson, 10 retire any Of tho present
members of tho cogit.--t Lawrence journal
Count Nicholson out. lie told an
Abilene man the other day that he
made more money since leaving the
bench than while re was on it, proper
tionately, and that he could not be
induced to take any judgeship again
He Is one Of those men who knows
when they have had enough.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
SATURDAYS CONVENTION.
All Republicans Of the County In
vited TO Attend II.

Saturday will be convention day for
the republicans OF Dickinson county.
A mass convention will be held In the
court room commencing at / p. m. for
the purpose Of selecting II delegates
and II alternates to the Fifth district
convention at Concordla next Tuesday
which will choose a delegate to the
national convention and nominate q
presidential elector.
Every republican 10 invited to BE-
present. The business session will moi
be long because Of the small amount Of
work to be done by the convention but
there will be addresses by the Hon. J,
r. Burton, W. 8. stambaugh and
others which all will want to hear.
1t is the first meeting Of campaign
that will end in victory. Let 1t be a
rousing one.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

"We meet, say the farmers of the
Saint Louis convention in their
platform, Sin the mIds. of nation
brought To the verge of moral, political
and material ruin" Since the nation
in tho question, remarks the Times, is
so clearly the happiest and the most
prosperous country in the world that
natives of other countries are nocking
to 1t at the rate of half million a
year; ii is evident that a third party in
this melancholy frame of mind cannot
Exert great influence upon the com
ing presidential election. But it is
= qually evident that, even if we grant
hat the third party is mixture of
folly and knavery, 1t is very unjust to
attribute to knavery any great share in
its composition.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

Mr.. Thomas b. Reed smiles salts.
fed smile as he reads the U, s. supreme
court decision that his ruling on the
Quorum matt.t was correct and that
all bills passed under such rule are
legal. No one with any sense doubted
II, but II will help out to have the
highest tribunal in the nation decide
on the matter. The republicans are
not In the, habit of making "breaks''
and the action Of Reed was good serse
and good law,
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

Abilene has been honored by the
Kansas department Of the Woman's
Relief Corps In the selection of Mrs.
o, l.. Moore of this city as department
president. Mrs. Moore has been for
many years one Of the most energetic
and capable W. r. c. workers and
richly deserves the honor conferred
upon her. Her hosts of Abilene
friends will congratulate her.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03
THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 1891.
County Mass Convention

There will be mass convention OF the
republicans Of Dickinson county In the
court house in Abilene on Saturday, March
9th at o'clock y. m. for the purpose OF
choosing eleven delegates to tho convent on
which will meet at ConoordiA on Tuesday,
March sth fortho pm pose OF elooting dele
gates TO the National Republican convention
and 10 nominate a republican presidential
eleotor for the Fifth congressional district.
A meeting Of the Republican Oentrai
committee will DO held at tho court honso
Immediately after this convention.
ny order OF Republican Central committee.
II. L. HUNPuRKr, ID. W. NALL,
Secretary. Chairman.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

lehRuo couNeutiOI.
John g Carpenter, Of Neosho county.
@ A. Lewis, Of Phillips county.
Charles Elliott, Of Sumner county.
O. NJ. Sheldon, Of Usage county.
Green Is Anderson, Of Wyandotte county.
J. l. Bristol, Of Saline county
The delegates elected by congress
sional dis riots were as follows:
First district-Ewing Herbert Of Brown coun.
W and John Moore Of Atehison county.
Second district-J. NJ Moore Of wyandotte
county and J T. Kelly Of Miami county.
Third district-A. II. Tyler Of Labette county
and A. g. Stitch, Of Montgomery county.
Fourth-ueorge Moorehouse, OF Morris coun.
" and John L. Senior, Of Conoy county.
fifth--o. l.. Moore, Of Dickinson county and
y Marshall, Of Cloud county.
SIXTH. r Wilcoxon Of Logan &c., a.,
W Sturgis, Of Mitchell ooun'', ''' ""'
SEVENTH, r. haso- n, F,n1ev coun,v and
"'''"" nOA a, Of Kingmnn county
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

John X. Wright, of Junction City
Is formally announced as republican
candidate for nomination for governor,
junction already has state superlnten.
dent OF schools and district judge and
mas asked for the delegate to Mime
apoiis' Anything else, boysV speak
up, don't be bashful.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1892-03-03

from the old Bonebrake Block to the block
north Of the Union Pacific Hotel, west of the
Abilene National Bank, and adding to their
already large stock, new stock of the best
make and grade of Buggies, Carts and light
Wagons, and the best line of Implements.
We select our Implements in the fall and
have our choice, and al Q not obliged to take
what is left.