The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1892-11-23


vited TO his Thanksgiving dinnerl There
with mirth and good humor; and the
sweet singer, with roll of music under
his arm; and the editor of The Gazette,
pompous in the knowledge that he, and
he only, was the author of that sublime
article, "Whither Are We Drifting2'
and their wives were with them, and the
other men who had been invited were
there with their wivesl IL was evidently
q conspiracy to humble and crush and
wreck the life Of Theophilus Wardwell.
For moment he seemed disposed TO
slam the door in their faces. but he
arrested the motion of his arm. Then IL
looked as though he would turn loose
the simoom of his wrath, but the words
died on his lips, and he endCd by invit-
ing them all to walk in, smiling sar-
donically, and "every one knew that
some one had blundered." He led the
procession into the parlor and then call
ed his wife, who joined him in maze
Of bewilderment. And when the guests
were all seated. equally stupefed with
wonder, Mr.. Wardwell faced them and
ruAug WIN HhICdNlls
"Ahl And so you have come in re-
spouse to my invitation regret to say
that You have come too late TO partake
Of my turkey or pie, but you have como
In time to teach me valuable lesson.
After this, when | want my friends t.
call on mo on New Years, I'll ask them
to come on Christmas; If desire to see
them on the Fourth of July, I'll ask
them to visit me on Easter Sunday, and
when want y gathering ON Thanksgiv-
ing day I'll specify George Washing
tons birthday as the date for the assem-
blage.
"This is Thursday, ladies and gentle
men. Well last Friday Mrs. Wardwell
and had somewhat wholesome repast
prepared for you ALL and we waited and
waited for your coming until our hearts
ached with disappointment, but we
should have been patient, see; we were
altogether too hasty. II we had only
waited six days longer, you would have
been with us. A trihe like six days
would have caused us no inconvenience
whatever, but we were so thoughtless."
Mr.. Wardwell paused for breath, and
the professor took advantage of the lull
10 say:
"There IL some gross misunderstood
ing here. You invited us to eat Thanks.
giving dinner with you, and here we
are But as for me, did not come to
be insulted."
"You are correct In saying that in
vited you TO come on Thanksgiving day.
Then why, may ask, didn't you come
ON Thanksgiving dayY'
why" responded the professor, in
dazed way, ''this is Thanksgiving dayl'
Certainly II Is" chCrused the doctor,
and the editor, and the musician; this
is Thursday, Nov. co."
"No one questions that" cried Mr..
Wardwell, with bitter irony, "and to-
morrow is Friday, the eth, and have
excellent reason to believe that the fol.
lowing day will be Saturday, the 2Sth--
In fact, shouldn't be surprised if Sun
day turned out TO be the Goth. But how
do you make ont that this is Thanks
giving dayi Here Is The Gazette, with
the governors proclamation in cold type,
and 1t readE Nov. 60 Does the govern
ors proclamation count for anything,
or is it merely vain ceremony-an
empty formalityy
Before any one could speak hollow
groan was heard. Ii came In all its
intensity from the lips of the editor of
The Gazette. He was reclining upon q
lounge, breathing with difficulty. The
doctor rushed to his rescue with case
of surgical instruments, but the editor
waved him away and moaned:
ooh, what a misfortunel A Madison
upon that bilious, blear eyed foreman
of minel To think that all this should
come of allowing him to read proof!
Mr.. Wardwell, and all of YOU" he said,
rising to his feet, 1--WE are the victims Of
a scrawny printer whom intrusted
with the governors proclamation and
the reading of the proof. He placed the
figures go where '2G should have been.
MI. Wardwell made all the prepare
tons on the Goth, and we, who probably
never read the proclamation, arranged
to visit him on the Goth. can only say
that as the editor of The Gazette will
discharge the printer without recon-
mendation, and that as a man who has
blood in his veins I'll either punch his
head or perish in the attempt"
When the editors explanation was
concluded there was an era of silence.
Then Mr.. Wardwell turned to his wife
with CHASTITY smile and said:
"Rachel, is there anything to eat in
the housey'
Scarcely thing"
Ladies' and gentlemen, will you as
sist me in devouring such remnants Of
groceries as Mrs. Wardwell can consoli-
date into dinnerY'
"Mr. Wardwell. said the doctor, with
emotion, IA bowl Of water, with crust
of bread, would be feast in your home.
The flow of intellect, sir--the flow of
reason, as 1t We're, Mr.. Wardwell-
intercourse Of kindred minds-atone for
all deficiencies in the material-aw-er-
in short, Mr.. Wardwell, anything will do
for dinner, and well be doubly thank
full today that the shght cloud which
darkened the horizon as we came In