Blue-grass blade., 1892-01-02

coIo wcaSner with snow Just prevI-
Gus, and on coming down to the Office
after breakfast thought would stop
in at Bishop & Christie's and see if I
couldn't find fresh bowl of the steam
ing decoction. Sure enough, occupying
the place of honor in the center of the
bar was the big bowl of golden
custard, and l was just about to drink
down liberal sized mug when who
should walk in but Jim.
"Now, Jim was considerably addic-
ted to the flowing bowl. In fact, he
was noted for getting hilariously in
toxicated and kicking in the Office
door and demolishing things generally.
After each of these sprees he would
register solemn oath never to get full
again, and just so sure when the
proper time came around he would do
the same thing over again.
''Well, as said, in came Jim and of
course 1 had to invite him to drink,
which he did with great gusto, and as
was his usual custom he struck me for
dollar, for Jim was constitutionally
broke. 1 gave him a dollar and
went out and thought no more about
him. About midnight, just after had
returned from little whist party, the
door bell rang and was called to the
door. There confronted big police
man, who told me that friend of
mine by the name of McNerney had
been arrested for creating disturb
ance and wanted me to come down
and bail him out At first 1 was in
clined to let him stay there, but know
ing if he didn't show up at his office in
the morning he would lose his job 1
concluded 1 would go down.
"When 1 got to the station Twas
shown to the cell where he was locked
up, fast asleep by this time, and went
in to wake him. When he stood up
finally and looked at me 1 didn't rec
ognize him. When had seen him in
the morning he wore full beard and
long, curly hair, but now he was clean
shaven and his hair was clipped as
closely as a jail-bird. took MIN up
stairs, deposited fifteen dollars for his
fine, and took him out in the air and
proceeded to sober him up When he
had regained his senses sufficiently to
talk asked him what was the matter.
Tom and Jerry was all the an
swer l could get out of him for long
time. Finally got his story. 1t APP
pears he had spent his dollar in short
order setting up Tom and Jerrys to
himself and some chance acquaint-
ances. Then he wandered into some
other place where they were keeping
open house and giving Tom and Jer-
| ry to everyone who came in. Jim got
one, and then wanted another, which
was refused him on the grounds that
he had already been treated So the
thought occurred to him to go to a
| barber shop where he had credit and
have his beard shaved off. so disguis-
| ing himself that he could get another
drink. The plan worked to charm,
Then he went back and had his mus
tache shaved off. On this new face he
got another Tom and Jerry and then
he was stuck. But no, another bril-
liant thought struck him and back he
goes again and soon the clippers had
made his curly head as smooth as q
billiard ball. Going up to his Office
| 0ho 0k q wing Va ohuii zap hO WCht
back and worked the place for a third
bowl. He had literally pawned his
hair and whiskers for Tom and Jerry.
by this time he was feeling pretty
well satisfied with himself, and, by
some ill-luck, mbering that he
was invited out to eat turkey at the
home of his betrothed, started Out
there. His girl failed to recognize his
smooth face and shaven head, and
upon his persisting in explaining who
he was, her father called policeman
and had him r-reated as~an escsnes:
luuatic. And that wasn't the worst d
/ it, for when he failed later on to put il
an appearance and they waited dinner
for him until the turkey was cold, the
young lady was so mad she refused
even to accept his apologies, and Jim
is an old bachelor to-day."-Kansas
City Star.