Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-11-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

IT'S better to be tried by fire than to
be fired after being tried.-Franklin
News.
People who cling TO the anchor of
hope often have to go down into the
mud with it.-Puck.
Man is ninety per cent. water; and,
like water, he finds it easier to go down
hill than to climb. Puck.
She-"Do you think Penelope will
suit him2" He-"yos. she'll have to-
and feed him and shoe him too"
The man who puts his heart in his
work often has very little of it left to
bring home to his family. Puck.
The camel and the swan are just the
opposite to each other, the camel always
has his back up while the swans back is
always down.--Truth.
A stole is man who has so keen an
appreciation of the intensity of sensations
that he is ashamed to acknowledge his
own real feelings.
''What would you do if you were
mef' "I don't know, Pm sure.
don't believe I'd bear it as well as you
do."-Binghamton Leader.
Woman never realizes what perddious
scoundrels men can be until she mar
ries one of them and gives him letter
to Matthew York Herald.
Experience teaches maybe;
But man is too wise by half,
To wake up his second baby
For the sake OF seeing it laugh.
Mercury.
tT told Soper yesterday that the club
he belonged to was set of stupid fools,
and to-day they have gone and elected
me an honorary member. r.".-Commercial
Bulletin.
"You must regulate your clothing by
the weather, "-said the physician. doc
tor" said the despairing patient, "what
do you think am, a'lightning-chsnge'
artist2"- Washington Star.
'.pm going into it and put it through.
Ii you were half a man you'd do it too."
''Pve no objections, sir; but then you see,"
am not half a man-though you may be.
Judge.
1t is difficult for the belated cubman
to realize that the towering female who
stands at the head of the stairs is the
timid little girl who once tainted in his
arms at the sight of Il mouse. It'd.
Bits.
"Bill," said the burglar. ''there amt
nothin' in this safe but a recipted mill
iner's BILL" .Is that so2" ''Yes, I'm
goil,' to quit this biz. 1t doesn'1 pay.
There's too much competition in it,
Washington Star.
''Miss Passeigh seems very contented.
She says she wouldn't change places
with queen" sob, dear mel" said
Miss Pepperton. "Don't you know that
queens birthday is matter of official
record2". Washington Star.
Dear friends, be not unhappy. II you
can't get what you want in this world,
be assured that there is plentitude of
things that you don't want waiting for
you. There Is always enough lin the
world, but most of it is mlsfit. Puck.
Young Husband-"You are develop
ing into an excellent housekeepef. We
have not had half the usual expenses in
the last three weeks. How In the world
did you manage it?' Young Wite-"I
had the things charged. Texas Sift-
ings.
Strawber-ssI see that porter on
the Boston express died very suddenly
the other day." Singerly-.What was
the cause of his death2" Strawber--
.'Someone succeeded in opening win
dow and he accidently inhaled quantity
OF fresh air. New York Herald
s'Do you pean to say yn ct that pie
the woman give yes'' SAID the tramp to
his companion. s"Yep. Ye see my dog
was with me. and eff | had throwed it
away Rube would tackled it, sure.
He's mighty good dog, aud bis health
amt bsxn none sf the best lately"