Los Angeles herald., 1892-09-18
SAVING THE CAPTAIN.
HLoosHN USED TO HAVE MUCH
TROUBLE WITH ONE BoARoER.

on One Eventfu1 Night-Her Story.
Previously to Loosha's assumption of
the reins of management at No. 500
Middleclass Flats, our present domestic
treasure occupied the position Of house
and parlor maid at Billit's Billits is
lodging house Of the most approved re-
spectability, situated in the classic neis
borhood of the British museum.
Billit's gentlemen are ''taken in" by the
month or quarter, 'sfound' and 'done
for" and in this orbit Loosha revolved
with sharp and winking brilliancy for
the space of seven years. Loosha's
trenchant manner was formed during
this regime; her eye acquired its gimlet-
like properties; her bosom developed its
adamantiHe qualities of resistance to
wheedlements or ''comeovers" on the
part of the opposite sex.
'sHuman nature is human nature" as
Loosha's mother, Mrs. Hemman's, is
wont to say, "and men but men, call
'em what you may" and, following this
example of maternal tolerance, Loosha
glides lightly over certain episodes in
her life at Billit's, when dodgers returned
home in the small hours, as Loosha puts
it, "a bit 'appy." When such one
proved incapable of controlling his Ian
guage or his boots within the proper
limits, Loosha's services were enlisted
for the dual purpose of pacifying the
backslider and getting him up stars.
.Loosha's ready presence Of mind sd
highstrung spirit would be lnvalua' a,
one can understand, in moments OF em-~~
gency.
There is no human doubt that but for
her Captain Clatterpen Nooshas short
for Clutterbuck, which really is his
name) would not at this present moment
be 'adroring the bereth Of life" CAP
tain Clatterpen had regularly for years
laid into Billit's docks when ashore for
the needful overhauling. The captain
was grizzled, thick set, elderly, stanch
Presbyterian and an admirable seaman.
He had but one failing.
Somewhere about the small hours of
the morning shuf11ing sound would
be heard upon the doorstep of Billit's, a
puff of old Jamaica through the letter
slip would succeed an aimless period of
fumbling with the latch key, and the in
mates of Billit's wodld be startled from
their slumbers by nautical below, "Of
ship a-hoilr" says Loosha. ''Like the
fog'orn of penny steamboat it sounded,
and 'Old your noise, Capt'in Chatter
pen, dor Mrs. Billit 'ud say, lettin down
the chain. Then in ed tumble as 'appy
as you please. There was only one way
O. gettin i'm Up stairs, and that called
the candle charm. 1t was done by 'oldin
the candle very near is face till is eyes
began to water an is whiskers smell
like singein an then droring of it a little
way back, when ED stagger arter it like
spessimized subjec'.
''Cne night, when e was as bad as
ever remember to "a seen i'm, lured
i'm up stairs in this way till got i'm on
the top landin, where his bedroom was,
close to the iron ladder that run up to
the fire escape trap in the roof. l got
i'm into is armcheer, took off is collar,
an nraked out the fire, collared is matches,
give i'm soothin shake an left i'm.
Then | goes down to set Mrs. Billit's
art at rest before goin to bed myself, as
slep' on the same top landin with that
old peach. Up I comes again in ten
minutes time Lo and be'old you! Wot
does l see but is door wide open, and,
simpularly, the roof trap, with the stars
blinkin through. Next minute l ears
the capt'ins heavy footmarks jouncin
on the leads over'ed. Up the ladder |
'ops and puts out my ed.
''Though l knowed e was there it give
me turn to see i'm staggerin up an
down amongst the chimbley pots Be-
fore could breathe my lips e turns an
sees me. "A 'oyl! sezee. COWS the
wind, boszm? BLOWN round the cor
ner!' says l, KNOWN e must be humored.
At that e gives a lurch as nearly car
ried i'm over the parapet. Lay 'er ed
to it, sezee; IAN d'jeer! Fetch me my
night glass from the cabinv Which
you've 'ad one too many at this identical
moment, thinks l, but I says to i'm coax
in'ly: Go on! Wot comfort is there in 'av-
initup ere? Come down an mix for your
self, captin. 'Wot do you mean, you son
of a seed cake? sezee in tearin rage. DO
you think I'm goin to send my ship an
crew an cargo to Davy Joseph's locket?
sezee, by stoppin under 'atches on a
dirty night like this:' Dirty or not
says I, you won't clean it by stoppin up
'ere amongst the blacksv 'Shiver my
tops sezee, if l ever card such mu-
thus langwidge in the ole course of
my experience. I'll stop your grog,
you (and to repeat is language
would be to demean myself). I'll put
you in irons or my name amt Joshua
Clatterpen.' Come an do itr says |,
tauntin i'm an poppin down the ladder
agin.
''Breathin fire and slaughter, e sets
down on the edge of the trap 'ole, drops
is legs through an begins to come down
the ladder. A ned wind an a nevey
sea- . growls; COW she pitches, the
cussed old 'ulk! 'ow she rolls dom 'er
old dead lightsp Which shows the sort
of female is mind was running on. An
then l jumps sky Ugh, for e misses is
footin an come down on the landin with
crash an below that brought all the
lodgers out of their beds as pale as
ashes, thinllin it's tie last trunk. The
shock sobered Capt'in Clatterpen, for e
picked isself up, nip an went off to bed
as mild as milk. Though stiff in the
joints next day, which is nothin to what
ed "a been if e hadn't fell into the
'ouse instead of off it, as e would "a
done but for me.
fsA,, o1,