The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-07-17

late at night they were all carried to he'd nv
the servants. The comment of one of the
gu Sis on the character OF the host was:
sic speat o praying, and sic speat o.
drinking Lneyer knew in the whole course
of my life"
THE SCOTCH CLERGY.
Dean Ramsay mas many stories Of the
clergy truly delightful to read. The cler-
gyman has always been an important per-
sohage IN Scottish life, and, i'll fact, Scottish
history cannot be comprehended without su
understanding 81 the religious spirit OF the
people. One OF the quaintest of his anec-
dotes relates to the class of men important
IN Scotch parish and church-the beiher-
ais, or beadles-a consequential lot of SER
wants who wait upon the minister during
divine service and are Familiarity described
as thu ministers man." They were also
sometimes gravediggers, and lost none OF
their consequentiality by following that
mournful calling. Bethersls were wont to
boast OF the achievements and preaching
powers OF the respective ministers they
served. A minister preaching in a strange
parish TO help brother divine was accom-
panied by his beadle, and after the service
the latter was the guest of his fellow-o fl
cIal. Like fiunkies who identify themselves
with their lords they took to boasting
about the merits of the ministers. One
".
he CARS the stour flee DOT o. the cushion"
The other replied, 'Stour cot o. the cush-
ION! Hout cor minister, sim he cam wi
Us, has dung the CUTS DOT O. twa Bibles" OF
another beadle, who had been many wears a
lantor oil the pulpit. ii is related that
gentleman. thinking to twit him on his
intellectual gifts, ventured TO say that he
could doubtless preach sermon himself.
John replied, ''0h. ma, sir; | couldna
preach sermon. but maybe L could draw
an inference. The gentleman asked Whist
inference he could draw from the text "a
wild ass snuffeth up the wind at her pleas
uFe. "Neel, sir, l wsd draw this infer
ence, he wad snuff long time afore he wad
fatten upon it,"
There is downright wit in the consoling
remarks or enc clergyman TO another who
had got wet before his arrival at church,
aud who, on that account, dreaded going on
with service. He was noted AS a very heavy
preacher, although learned man, and he
kept circulating: oh | wish that | was
dry; 90 you think that Pun dry-do YOU
think I'm dry eneuch n0w?" The spOnse
was, "B de wee. doctor. aud yese be dry
eneuch when We get into the pu'pit"
THESE two clergymeB were in charge Of
one church, and one congratulated the other
on that fact a. II it were dspensation o
providence. The other asked why aud the
reply was IAN it hadna been for that there
wad haze been twa toom kinks this day" 1t
Was certainly better that two dull men
should preach to one empty church.
Scotch ministers were on very familiar
terms with their congregations, aud ad-
dressed 10 them remarks from the pulpit
which would excite astOnishment in these
days. How Infinitely drOll was the remark
OF minister who stopped short in his ser
mon to rouse sleeping congregation: II
doOt some o ye hae taen our mOny whey
parritch this mornin'. Sit up or I'll name
ye" An anecdote is given by Ramsay of
nm old woman who followed her favorite
minister TO another parish in order TO hear
him preach. The clergyman passed her on
the road, and aseertalned that she had no.
where TO pass the night, but put her hopes
on providence for shelter. Before giving
the beDedlctOn the minister called out:
"Whaur's the auld wife that followed me
1rae Ahitbdrn ," Here Pm, sir" "a
weel. have fand We bed; we're to sleep
WI Johnnie Flies lass"
THE VICE OF GAMBLING.
Gambling was about as common as drink
ing In the olden time. During service a
Young man showed what had been his hab-
lis on the previous evening by letting fall a
pack OF cards and scattering them about the
chuFeh IN unpremeditated conjuring fash
ion. The clergyman made the Comment.
Hech. mon, yer psalm bulk has been III
bund!
1t is said there was a minister on the
island OF Cumbrae. in the Clyde, who was
accustomed TO pray for the blessing of the
Almighty on The Greater and Little Cum-
brae and the adjacent islands o. Great
Britain and Ireland" This particularly il
quite matched by the story of a northern
clergyman who was returning thanks for
an aouhusht harvest. 70. Lord, we thank
thee, and he went on enumeratIpg the
abundance OF the crops and the safe in
gathering, but, he added, ''all except A few
fields between this aud Stonehayen. not
worth mentioning"
number of very odd stories are told of
10 log
crea 'uTeS, who usually are permitted To
wander about Scottish parishes on very
familiar terms with every one, UDon o.
Ing upstairs to his pulpit clergyman found
that the parlSn ldlot Tam, was in posses
siol and he ordered him out. Tam looked
down from the pulpit and remarked: INA.
ma, minister: Just ye come up VII me
ms Is perverse generation, and faith
they need US baithW OF another idiot il il
related that he Kept wide awake dining n
sermon which sent most Of the eoprraga~
ton to sleep. The minister paused and
thus admonished the backsliders. lyon see
even jamie Fraser. the idiot, has not fallen
asleep as SO many of you are doing"
Jamie replied to this by circulating. An
hauna been an idiot l wad ha' been
sleeping too"
One of these naturaIs at PEBBLES took to
neart a sermon leveied at the sinfulness of
deceit and falsehOod in the Christian char
acter. lie got red in the face and. not he
ing able to contain himself longer he
shouted, Indeed, minister. there's MAR
Ieears ia PEBBLES than me-
The Earl Of Eglinton once spied an idiot
Tespassing over his land aud called to him
TO come back, as there was no road that
way. DO ye ken whaur I'm gaun ?" said
the idiot. NO." said the Earl ''Weel,
hoo the dell do ye ken whether this be the
road or no."
OF the relations Of pastor and congrega.
ton one more anecdote must suffice. An
ola woman, whose seat in church was some
wat conspicuous, was accustomed to fail
asIeeD dS soon as the sermon had com
menced. and yet when visiting pastors
preached she kept wide awake The minis
ter demonstrated. Janet" he said. Il
think you hardly behave very Respectfully
10 your own minister in one respect" me
sir. exclaimed Janet, 81 wad like TO see ony
man, no TO say woman, By yourself saw that
0 me! Nhat can You mean, sir?" "Weel.
Janet, We ken when l preach you're almost
always last asleep before I've we'll given
out my text; but when any of those young
men from ST Andrews preach for me. see
you never sleep wink. Now, that's W hat
l cali not using me as you should do"
loot, SIR, said Janet, sis that a? IN
sumo tell ye' the reason o. that When Won
preach we a sure the word @ Gods safe i'm
your hands; but when these young bfrkies
TAX 1t IN hand. my certie. but it tak's us a
~ look AFTER them" DECAY MACKART.