Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1892-11-30
WIT AND HUM0R.

When man has good horse sense
he doesn't bet on races. Btnghdmt0n
Republican.
If poor relatives had their way, they
would not have any rich uncles very
long. -D4iias Mars.
| notice that an amateur fisherman
can tell just as big lies as profess
sional. 1eras .SJttHgs.
Higher criticism has not yet done a
thing to make men more patient on
washday. Ran's HorH
The tramp may be all wool and
yard wide. but he is goods that will
not wash. D,titaS NeUS.
While vacation always begins with
a V it always ends with a great scare
ity OF them. baltimore Aniericdn.
"Ths is an application for relief" as
the man said when he stuck the porous
plaster on his PAIN Philadelphta Rec
ord.
you warrant that horse gentle?"
"Gente as lamb, sir. If that horse
were a man he'd be dude. "-Harper's
| Bazar.
"That WIS a great DOWNFALL" said
the barber, when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip Washing
ton Star.
Tomorrow never comes, but the bill
collector who has date with you then
will get around on time S0merville
JOurnal.
The summer girl is to wear sus-
penders, with a probable preference
for the popular IN braces" -Phitadel-
phia Ledger
The man who invests in shad may
have his moneys worth in the meat,
but he's stuck with the bones.-Phila-
delphia Times.
"Where did Bright spend his honey
moonp" money moon, you mean; he
married three millions. - Boston Com
naerciat Bulletin.
Miserly-"I have been so poor at
times tlfat would have sold my soul
for quarter" Cynicus-"Th showed
a sharp business sense."-N Y. Her.
aid.
She-"Do you think Van Aukem can
get into the smart set'p" He-"I
don't see why he shouldn't; he's not
very smart, you know. Broohlyn
Life.
Ethel have had an offer of mar
rage" Clarissa-"Gracious, has it
got out that your grandmother is 60
ing to leave you some money?"-N l.
Press.
Benevolent Lady-"They tell me
you are woman-hater. Grumpy
Gardener-"Well, mum, what wonder?
I've been married to four of 'em. ~.
Y. Weekly.
yesterday l told Schlegelmayer
that his club consisted of blockheads,
and to-day l hear that | have been
elected an honorary member!"-FYie-
ge'ade Blatter.
Priscilla Cat the piano. just SIM
ply dote on Bach!" Her Cousin with
far-away look-"So do l.; but it's too
late for that. Pilsners good, though"
Yale Record.
Jasper-"Why did the Rev. DR..
PoundteXt come eastP" Jumpuppe-
"He was chased out of the west for
teaching the golden rule in silver
state. ~. 7. Herald.
He-"Darlng, if l give you such an
! expensive engagement ring, we can't
| get married SO soon." She-"Never
mind, dear. For your sake can
wait. "-Harper's Bazar.
Wouldn't the impecunious young
man be happy during the ice cream
season if the girls mouths were no
bigger than a fashion-plate makes
them appear?- Bradt0rd Era.
He-"Who is that man over there?"
She-"Prof. Smart. the great mind
reader" He-"An, | suppose he min
giles with society when he wants to
have rest" ~ J. HeraM.
Young Mother (proudly)-"Every-
body says the baby looks like me-"
Bachelor Brother (amazed) The
spiteful things don't say that TO your
face, do they?'-N y. Weekly.
1t is well enough for the politician
to be an early bird but it is a good
thing to be careful and not come
across the worm at its proverbial turn
ing-point.-Kate FieiFs WaShingtom
Professor examining an applicant
for a teachers certiiicate) -"Can YOU
decline love Miss Gazley?" Miss
Galley (bashfnlly) al never have had
a chance to, sir. : Detroit Free Press.
Frances q years Mamma.
Mamma What is it, dear?" you
never saw me before was born, did
youP" mo, love-" "Then how did
you know it was me?' Brooklyn Life.
De Writer What are you doing
| nOWp" Scrihhlpr "Writinr S1O Oo1