The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-04-03
BY THE WAY.
Being a RdlhlGr'S Observations on Things
in General.
The Emperor William and Punch-At Last a
BIG French Family-Ameriean and
English Drinking.
Written for THE MORNING CALL

No wonder the capricious ana self-willed
Emperor Of Germany stamped his foot with
rage and looked black as thunder cloud
when he beheld himself in pantOmime and
gibbeted IN ridicule in that awful number
of Punch, March the 9th. His own sub
iects were rubbing their eyes and wonder
ing what he could mean by that inflated
and bumptious Brandenburg speech, where
in he announced an alliance far more pow
eTful than the convention with Austria
and Italy, namely. a family understanding
with the Ruler Of the universe, and warned
Germans who dare to have an opinion Of
their own to beware. But that foreign
journal should fash the light of scorn upon
his pretenSionS and mock him IN pafody
of Dryden's Alexander's Feast was exalt-
ing him with crown of th0rns. Hence
forth his Imperial Majesty will not so much
rs glance at his humpbacked and hoOknosed
insuIter Punch is seurTilous and only fit
for the duStbiB. No honest TentOn can
sean its columns or study its pictures.
Ii is forbidden the palace and banished The
court. Even the Emperor's royal mother is
expected to resent the insult 10 her imperi-
Gus son, and possibly he may have made
TepreSen tatiots-ss his royal grandmother on
this CALLING subject. Had il been German
paper that perpetrated this outrage-whew
what would have become of the editors
head or any other seat of imbecie intelll-
genee he may possess? AS TO the artist who
would dare TO represent his Majesty asirad-
die q cloud, with a sheaf OF thuuderboitS
flashing from clenchad hand, he would
have been boiled 10 everlasting slumoer in
Oil-that is. if his Majesty were like Char
lemagne AS things are, such treatment OF
Eenins would precipitate ministerial crisis.
But Punehi Il is sufficient to stamp upon
the aDtic-loving deformity With military
boot.
What was his Majesty'S tipple at that
Brandenburg banquet? II must have been
exhilarating, for his ideas are nebulous and
not quite suited for the stage of life. Mac
chiaVelli would counsel concealment and
the graSping of real power under the name
of hberty-a iuggery Of craftsmanship we'll
understood in all the ages. Here is the pas
sage On which Punch founded its satire
1.-The assured knowledge that your sympa-
Shy Loyalty attends me In my work inspires
me with fresh strength to persevere 10 my
task and to advance along the path marked
out for me by heaven. To this are added
the sense Of responsibility 10 our Supreme
Lord above, and my unshakable conviction
that be, our former ally at Rossbach and
HaDnewitZ, will not leave NE in the lurch
de has taken such Infinite pains with our
ancient Brandenburg and our house that
we cannot suppose He has done this for no
purpose. : My course is the right
one, and 1t Will be persevered ill.," How
the other mOuarchs who, as they believe.
rule by divine favor, must have smiled at
this arrogance! What is 10 become of them
or their people II they are left in the lurch?
Their celestial treaties are no more binding
shan the one the French painter made with
certain gentleman who refused to carry
cut the stlpulations by not clipping with his
wife. As TO the people who are possessed
BY these mOnarchs, they may conclude that
sll such presumptu0us assumptions are no
more rational than the beseechngs OF a
hundred ship captains for hundred differ
ent winds on one day.
These are the concluding lines of the par
ody that has given such dire offense:
The mighty Master smiled 20 see
Infant in arms, young Germany.
Loves nursing, quit his ct and pap
And, quite promising young chap,
Grown out OF baby shoes an bottle
And 'drangtts" watch leased his infant throttle,
Get rio OF ailments, tum-ium troubles.
Toothcutting pa1gs and windy bubbles,
tremendous time beginning;
Fighting still. all foes destroying
"A world empires worth the winning:
It's fair foret3ste Pm enjoying
The new god now sits beside ye
lake the gifts he wtsI provide re.
Hes your young Orbilan schooier,
Your hereditary ruler"
THE Brandenburgers below iond applause
"1ly course is right and glorious is cause Up
The prince, the god unable TO restrain,
Rose from his chair
With Jovian air
And hanging up his thunderboIts with care.
hat time his eagle gave gruesome glare,
The nectar sulped again and yet again
Then stopping his horned helmet to Jam on,
voted himself the new goa-'npiter 90 Ammon!
'-Let Alexander yield the prize
To Wilhelm OF the Iron Crown;
He raised himself uato the skies,
bring Olympus down"