davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
ALLEGED WITTICISMS.

Mr.. Tulkinghorn-Thcre is a very
fine picture of our minister in to-day's
paper. Mrs. Tulkinghern - Indeed.
What has he been cured Of?
"What a stupid thing that Miss Chat
terton is! She'll sit for whole even
ing without saying a word" "Oh, but
you never happened to see her at the
theater."
Old Gentleman-What do you hope
to be when you grow up? Small Boy
Il want ter be circus actor. Well, l
declare! Why do you want to be a cir
Gus actor? So I won't have to crawl
under the tent
Mamma-Well, Nellie, what did you
learn at the Sunday School to-day2
Nellie-That must sell three tickets
for the concert next week, give twenty
cents to buy present for the superin-
tendent, and-that Noah built the ark.
Neighborly-So your boy is studying
to be lawyer, Ell, Parsons? Timber
lip-He am, sab. Neighborly-Do you
think him fitted for that profession?
Limberlip-Fitted fort? wy dat boy
couldn' reckernice de trufe eff yo' paint
it red an hung it on his bed pos.
"How do you understand the phrase
an 'impressionist picture?" asked the
country cousin of the city cynic as
they stood in the art gallery. "Why,
an 'impressionist picture is one that
leaves on your mind the impression
that it is a picture of COW, and the
impression fingers until you look at
the catalogue and read that it is a pic
ture of water spaniel"
Mistress-I am surprised. You say
you were married six months ago, di-
vorced three months ago, and remarked
to your husband last night. Domestic
-Yes'm. You see, at the first place
he had they wanted married man, so
we got married; but the next place
they wanted single man, so we got
divorced, and l came here. Now he's
found place where they want a man
for gardening and wife to cook, SO we
got married again, ami I'n going there
with him.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

that part OF her history aud though
would relate my adventure to her. she
would say that it was dream.
Therefore. to this day is wrapped in
mystery the capture of the detail.
The wagons and oxen were never
found. nor were any OF the arms Of the
squad recovered. 1t is supposed that
the Mana enticed Corporal Dix and
his comrades into what proved a
death trap. and then kept the secret
OF the capture and decoy.
will always believe that the ven-
geance of Mrs. Poston that night in
the Tiger hills rid the world of the
greatest man monster that ever cursed
it. 1t Is said that Mana Sahib was
seen as late as 1860. but / never
could find any one who saw him. and
anative told me after the adventure
! have related that lie was killed in
the jungle by a white woman.
II this is true then the knife OF
Mrs. Poston avenged the massacre OF
Cawnpore and am but one of many
thousands who will say that it was
one OF the most righteous blows ever
struck. National Tribune.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
DIDN'T ATTEND THE BALL.
She Acted Chilly Afterward, But 1t Wa
Explained Satisfactorily.

She Acted Chilly Afterward, But 1t Was
Explained Satisfactorily.
Just before the charity ball last win
ter a certain young South slider was
paying such assiduOus attention to q
certain North side woman that Mrs.
Grundy had it that they were engaged.
The young woman. of course, knew
better says the Chicago Tribune but
she did think matters had progressed
to the point where he was sure to ask
her to go to the ball. So she declined
two invitations from other admirers.
The invitation she wanted never
came. Her parents were not society
people. and she had to stay at home.
He didn't go. either. The next time
he called she was chilly
The threatened storm blew over
however though nothing was said on
either side about the ball, and the
other day they were married. They
did not take a wedding trip but wort
at once to their modest little home.
The next day the young husband
greatly surprised his bride by taking
a sealed envelope from his pocket and
throwing it in her lap. 1t was aA-
dressed to her.
open it. honey" said he. lit be-
longs to YOU
Honey" opened it and found $25
and the following memorandum:
llckeI .................. ............Sl ~
rloWers' .'.'''.....''...' ..''..''..' ~
carriage ...,....... .....,............... D
Iotal .................. .S2o
why, Tom" said she what on
earth does this mean?"
Perhaps you will remember that
you didn't go to the charity ball last
winter"
Perhaps"
We'll; just as l was getting ready
to write you my mother came to mo
and said: Tom. are you going to the
charity ballp Sure. said /. i
s'pose you're going to take that Jones
grip said she. Sure said /. My
son, said She don't you do it It'll
cost you $25-S10 for a ticket $40
for flowers and IS for carriage
What OF it?' said /. Are you going
to marry her" said she. Guess not '
said l. lying of course. Then /
wouldn't spend $25 on her. said she.
Well, said i. s'pose / am thinking
OF asking her to have mep' Then l
certainly shouldn't waste the $25.
said she. / kind OF thought things
over and-you're Mrs Smith and
there's the $25. Get yourself some
thing pretty with it, Honey"
OF course she protested that she
didn't need any money yet but it
ended in her taking the $25 all right.
But some way or other Honey"
doesn't seem quite as sweet on her
mother -in-law as she was.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
THE HOSPITAL.

rThe following poem was found on bit
Of paper In a bible presented to Miss F. L,
Morris by the patients of Chester hospital.
Pa, 1854. The author is unknown.]
Marrow beds by one another,
White and low:
Through them softly, as in church aisles,
Nurses go.
For the hot lips ice drops bring
Cold and clear.
Or white eyelids gently closing
For the bier.
Strong men, in moment smitten
Down from strength;
Brave men, now in anguish praying
Death at length.
Burns the night lamp where the watchers
BY the bed
Write for many loved one
He is dead.
One lies in utter weakness,
Shattered, faint
But his brow wears calm befitting
Martyred saint.
And although the lips must culver.
They can smile
AS he says, This will be over
In WHILE"
As the old crusaders, weeping
In delight,
Knelt when lions holy city
Rose in sight
So fling aside my weapon,
From the din
To the quietness of Heaven
Entering in.
Cincinnati Times-Star.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
RUBlES AND DIAMONDS.
These Gems Were, in Ancient Times
Beautifully Carved.

These Gems Were, In Ancient Times,
Beautifully Carved.
Who OF the readers OF this depart
ment know il the art OF carving on
diamonds and ruhies is still practiced
or If it has been lost? asks the St.
Louis Republic. The writer has al
ways considered that to polish one OF
these gems was the acme OF art. but
has recently unearthed some old ac-
counts OF both diamonds and rubies
carved like marble or clay into ali
sorts Of odd shapes and forms
Ibn Batutah. the earliest and most
entertaining of the Moorish travellers
tells of ruby bowl that was shown
him by Arya ChakravastiL ruling chief
OF Pathan, which he affirms was
larger than the palm OF mans hand"
Further on in his account of this
carved gem he says that its sides were
engraved with figures OF three palm
trees a man. two goats and n dog. the
opposite side having the figures of
two tigers engaged in combat" This
gem OF gems must have weighed 800
karats and its value was beyond cal
culation.
Chardin saw a ruby In Persia which
bad the head and name OF Sheik Sephi
engraved upon one side and the figure
of serpent on the other. The French
crown jewels are said to have once in
cluded among their number a perfect
dragon two inches in length. carved
from ruby OF the first water. When
the summer palace at Pekin was sacked
a head of Buddha carved from mag
nificent ruby. fell to the duke OF Bruins
wick as his share Of the spoils. After
his death 1t sold for f6, 600.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
and that Is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure Is the
only positive cure now known TO the medical
fraternity. Catarrh being constitutional
disease, requires a constitutional treatment
balls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF
the system, thereby destroying the foundation
Of the disease, and giving the patient strength
by building UP the constitution and assisting
nature in doing its work. The proprietors have
40 much faith In its curative powers that they
oifor One Hundred Dollars for any case that It
fails TO cure. Send for list of testimonials.
Address r. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists, TOO.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
The Hawkcye Grub and

The Hawkcye Grub and stump Machine
Manufactured by James Milne & Son, Scotch
Grove, Iowa, stands n century In advance
Of old-fashioncd, hand-power contrivances,
for clearing timber lands. 1t Is strong, dur
able and cheap in price, within reach OF any
owner Of timber land farms. The following
Is sample OF thousands OF testimonials:
TOLEDO, Iowa, May 2i, 1891.
To WHOM 1T MAY CONCERN This Is TO
certify that / am having operated on my
farm one Of James Milne & Sons Hawkeye
Grabbing Machines. They are great i'm
provoment over the old way of grubbing. 1t
does the work more rapidly and better than
can be done by hand. VIII say that mine
Is very lard piece of land to grub. 1t
consists mostly of stumps and stool grubs.
/ can heartily reccommend II TO parties that
have timber and grub land they want to Inn
prove. 1t is especially adapted to moving
buildings. s. SrIGER.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
A GENERAL SURVEY.

About Is, 900 suicides were CO mmitted
in the United States during the past
year.
The ocean cables of the world now
stretch over 120,250 miles. There are
1000 cables in all, nearly all of English
manufacture. Most of the cables are
owned and operated by private corpor-
atoms
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
The Only One Ever Printed.-Can You
Find the Word

There is a 3-inch display advertisement
In this paper this week which has no 1--WE
words alike except one word. The sam,
Is trtts OF each new one appearing eact
week, from the DR.. Harter Medicine Co
This house places "Crescent" on every
thing they make and publish. Look for 1t
send them the name of the word, and they
will return you Book, BEAUTIFUL LrTHo
GRAPHS OR SAMPLES FREE.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

To introduce Stewards Headache Pow
ders Is offered by +. G. Stewart & Co., 1872
Dearborn St, Chicago. They have been IA
years in the drug business and WE KNOW
they are reliable. See their advertisement
in this paper and write them to-day. To-
morrow you will forget it,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Old gent calling from the head Of
the stairs)--Oh! Mary.
Daughter-Yes. papa.
Old gent-Is Harry down there yet?
Daughter-Yes papa.
Old gent--Tell him to wake me up
for the o'clock train as he goes out
Wal you? Good night. Detroit Free
Press.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

The proprietors of DR.. Sage's Ca
tarrh Remedy lose $500 if you're
not cured of Catarrh. They prom
Use to pay you that if they can't
cure you. What do you lose by
trying it? Is there anything to
risk, except your Catarrh !?
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Needs assistance it may be best to
render it promptly, but one should re-
member to use even the most perfect
remedies only when needed. The best
and most simple and gentle remedy is
the Syrup of Figs, manufactured by
the California Fig Syrup Co.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

II you are troubled with piles just try one
package OF Hills Pile Pomade and see IL
you don't say just what everyone says:
Its worth its weight in gold" Try 1t to-
night! At all druggists.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Coughs, Hoarseness, Sore Throat,
etc. quickly relieved by BRowN's BRONCHIAL
TRoCHEs. They surpass all other prepara-
lions in removing hoarseness and as a cough
remedy are pre-eminently the best. Z,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

b. Il. ALLEN Co., 365 Canal St., New
York, are sole agents In the United States
for Beecham's Pills. % cents box.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

"A word to the wise Is sufficient" but 1t
is not always wise to say that word to one
who is suffering the fortunes OF a head ache.
However, always risk 1t and recommend
Bradycrotine.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
The power behind the throne-money.

,FiTS:-All Fits stopped free by DIR, KLISR's GREAT
Nerve Iiestorer No Fit after first day suse. Mar
Ieious cures Treatise and 800 trial Nottle free to
tcases' send To DIR. Kline.93I Arch st.. Phila Pa
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

There are two things to which we never
grow accustomed-the ravages Of time and
the injustice Of our fellow men.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

When Baby was sick, We gave her castoriA.
Whom she was Child, she cried for CastoriA,
When she became Miss, she chung to CsstoriA
When she had Children she gave them CastoriA
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

There are many devices which do no not
deprive us of friends; there are many
virtues which prevent our having any.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
A Hare Curiosity.

A Georgia man boasts possession Of
an ordinary school slate which has
been in constant use for more than
fifty years and Is yet uubroken.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

II you wish to appear agreeable In society
you must consent to be taught many things
which you know already.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Mrs. WinsIow's Soothing syrup, for Chill
dren teething, softens the gums. reduces innamma-
ton. nllays pan cures wind collie. Csc. q bottle.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

In love we grow acquainted because we
ore already attached,-in friendship we
must know each other before We love.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

General maxims applied to everyday life
are like routine applied to the arts, good
only for mediocre intellects.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

A dog Wilma growl II ye fell him wi q
bone.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Fair words break never bone, fou
words many a one.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

When you troubled with dizziness, your appe-
lite all gone, and you feel bad generally, take few
doses of DIR. Henry Bakers Mandrake Bitters, and
you will be surprised at the improvement In your
feelings Every bottle warranted to give satisfac-
ton
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
$4,000 Cash Prizes.

Be the same thing that ye would be
called,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Far sought and dear bought is good for
ladies.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Heads of
disease DIR. Pierce's Golden Med
ical Discovery. In way, that you
can understand, too, by purifying
the blood. When you're weak,
dull and languid, or when blotches
and eruptions appear-that's the
time to take it, no matter what the
season. It's easier to prevent than
to have to cure.
For all diseases caused by a tor
pid liver or impure blood, Dyspep-
STA, Biliousness, Scrofulous, Skin, or
Scalp Diseases even Consumption
or Lung scrofula), in its earlier
stages, the discovery" is the only
remedy that's guaranteed. If it
doesn't benefit or cure, you have
your,money back.
You pay only for the good you
get.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Love speaks the mother tongue OF every
body.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
SALT-RHEUNl

Take pint and gree, the law is costly.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
SAY, FRIENDi

He that Wilma when he may shauna when
he wad.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
WHEN NATURE

Every man ut 40 is a fool or a physician
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Said noted man Of 60 years, "my mother gave
me Downs Elixir for coughs and colds when was a
boy"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29
Hotel Glenham.

I can attest to the efficacy OF DR.. Deane's
Dyspepsia Pills-not only using them my
SELF but having given them TO several of
my friends. all Of whom have been materi.
ally benefited by them. For cases OF Dys-
pepsia and Torpid Liver 1 consider them
invaluable.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Cured in few days by using Hills s. r. &
s Ointment. 25 cents. At all druggists.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Bryant's Home College, Buffalo, N. Y.
gives full business college course by mail at stu.
dents home. Low rates and free trial lessons.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

"Hanson's Magic Corn Snlve." -
Warranted to cure, or money refunded. AID
your druggist for It. Price Is cents.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Life is too short for any postponements.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

FITS-Epiepsy permanently cured BY now syster
Of treatment. TWO TRIAL BOTTLES ERER. Send fol
Treatise. Epileptic Remedy Co.. As Bro St. New York
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Shorthand by mail. Easiest and best sys
TEN. Write o. II. Palmer, lO06 Chestnut St., Pha
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Births good, but breeding's better,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

A guide word is as soon said as an ILL.,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Do not try to turn a crank backward.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

N. u. BANK4,
Proprietor Hotel Glenham, New York.
Write DR.. j. A. Deane & Co.. Catskill, NY.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

A roll of music-the drum solo.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

in upon her. and bounded into the
jungle with the speed OF deer.
The Sepoys forgot the woman, in
their desire to inquire into the state OF
their leaders wounds, and when they
carried him back to the cavern. and
had turned their backs upon me
slipped down from my perilous perch.
and ran for my life.
The thought OF Mrs. Poston alone
In the tiger-infested hills Of Dude,
and probably hunted by band OF So
poy cut-throats, fastened my return
to Ballypuhr, where / reported what /
had seen.
The next morning the hills wero
alive with red-coats and we hunted
the jungle foot by foot The bodies
of the murdered men were found in
the heart OF the cavern. whittier they
had been carried by the Sepoys. and
from there we took up the trail OF the
captains wife.
But two days passed ere We struck
it again. and then it was to discover
Mrs. Poston wandering aimlessly in a
dense copse, and so nearly dead with
hunger and fright as to have lost her
mind completely.
The unfortunate woman was taken
carefully back and placed under the
surgeons care. but days elapsed be-
fore she uttered an ineligible word;
then she could not recall single in
cident of her captivity. not tell the
true story OF the capture OF the lost
detail by Mana Sahlb and his men.
Strange to say, she mover recovered
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1892-04-29

Coughing Leads To Consumption. Kemp'l
Bslsam viii stop the cough ut once.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-06-02
The Day in Chicago.

CHICAGO, May 30.-Never was Decora-
ton day more generally observed or
celebra ted on a grander scale than to-
day. The demonstration eclipsed any
thing seen in previous years, and not a
soldiers grave within the domain
of Cook county was over
looked in the general tribute Of
fered to the dead. Early this
morning the different posts of the G.
A. r. visited the cemeteries and scat
tered flowers on the mounds of earth
that mark the last resting place OF
their departed comrades Over each
grave they placed the stars and stripes
and planted a flower to grow and bios
som during the coming months of sum-
mer. Later in the day there was a
grand parade, comprising the Grand
Army of this city and vicinity. the
troops from Fort Sheridan, the militia
regiments located in the city, the indie
pendent military companies and the
various civic societies. The parade
was reviewed by Gen. Nelson A. Miles,
Mayor Washburne and representative
citizens.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-06-02
THE MARKETS.
Live Stock,


CHICAGO, May 80. II ATTLE-Recetpts /. 400
The demand for butchers and Gamers stock
and for fat, light and medium weight steers
was active and prices for those descriptions
were strong. Heavy attle were dull. exporters
wanting but few and the demand from other
sources being inconsiderable, but they were
salable at STEADY figures Not as many cattle
arrived as a majority of dealers had looked for,
and as Tuesdays and Wednesdays arrivals bid
fair to fall below the average there was on all
sides feeling of confidence. Quotations
ranged from 81 .5061.75 for scalawags to 81 500
4. 90 for extra shipping steers. The range at
which most Of the stock was weighed was
&. 5043.25 for cows and bulls and S. 75042 5 for
steers. The market closed firm with only a
few odds and ends remaining in the sale pens
HoGs.-Receipts, 5000. The trade opened
slack this morning with a weak feeling pre-
vailing 1t developed increased activity later
and BEGAN e frmer toward the close About all
the hogs were bought up and the bulk of them
at 81 e5G495, though the extreme range for
merchantable lots was A.70Q5. Sales at over
81. e5 were scattering, as were also those below
4S0. There was little trading in culls at
g.. 5094 50. The quality Of the receipts was
rather common, if average weight be taken as
the test, few prime heavy hogs being offered.
SHEEP-Receipts, 7,0O0-This was light run
Of sheep and as consequence of that fact the
market was strong in spite of moderate de-
mand. Good to choice muttons were wanted at
$50625 and inferior or common grades were
quoted at 81 50G475. Spring lambs were salar
BILE at S4.500S IS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-06-02
SILVER MEN ADJOURN.
Subscription Started to Garry on the
Fight in Congress.

SUBSCRIPTION Started to Garry the
Fight in Congress.
WASHINGTON, May 28.-The last days.
session of the silver convention was de
voted to business incident to the clos
ing of the meeting. The executive
board was authorized to employ
a corresponding secretary, whose duty
is shall be to distribute all current
literature on the silver issue.
Chairmc-x Warner said it was neces-
sary for the silver people to raise funds
enough to offset the $500, 900 which, he
said, he had learned on good authority
had been raised by anti-silverites to
defeat any Legislation by Congress in
favor of free silver and to suppress
that issue in the approach
ing Presidential campaign. About
So, 200 was subscribed and guaranteed
by the delegates present and on behalf
of the silver leagues, principally in
Colorado, to carry on the silver fight.
Resolutions were adopted thanking
Chairman Warner and other officers of
the convention for their exer tions in
behalf of the bime tallic cause, after
which the meeting adjourned subject
10 the call of the chairman.