Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-12-22
Tea-TnhIe TaII<.


Atchis0n Globe. -
The ascent of the balloon is gen.
orally soar point with the aer0naut.
-Binghamton Leader.
ABOUT all the average drunkard
has to support him Is lean on
lamp-post, Dallas News.
THE mariner who scours the sea in
all sorts of weather needs great
deal of sand.-Lowell Courier.
THE man who does not comb his
hair looks best with a chrysanthemum
in his button-hole. -Picayune.
WHEN man undertakes piece OF
ticklish business he never feels like
laughing. Inter Ocean.
OUR hopeful" called his schoolmis-
tress Experience" because she's such
"dear teacher. Boston Courier.
II FEEL quite justified in claiming
to be a man Of deep research said
the submarine diver. Washington
Star.
SPoRTEEM-IsM cQuick, the sprint
er, an amateur? Knowem-Yes-siree
"a regular professional amateur
New York Weekly.
WIFE-Why do you buy such a lot
of stamps at once? Husband-So
there'll be a few that won't getStuck
together. New York Weekly. \
CLARA-What shall sing FOR you,
Jack? Jack-Have you a song with
refrain? Clara-Yes. Jack-Well,
then, please refrain. kWonder.
NEARLY every man who is a fool
has faint suspicion Of it, but in try
ing to prove that he is not a fool he
gets in deeper. -Atchison Globe.
JAGsoN says that "never trust
man till you know him" is. good adj
vice, but you never know some men
till you trust them. -Elmira Gazette.
THE Deacon-Do you know what
happens to boys who tell lies? Small
youth-Yessir. They gets of, most
times, if they tells good ones. Life.
GEoRaE-I'm afraid Ethel doesn't
love me any more. Jack-What
,makes you think so? George-Last
night she introduced me to her chap
erOn.
THE speed OF railway trains is
being brought to a point where even
people on bridal tours regard the
tunnel as q nuisance. Washington
Star.
THE medical men say that klepto-
mania is a disease. We have observed
that its victims are always taking
something for it. = Binghamton
Leader.
"a FINE collection of coins" is
what the judge remarked when the
prisoner had paid his $40 all in sill
yer, nickels and coppers. -Yonkers
Statesman.
BY serving ox-tail soup at the be-
ginning of dinner and providing calfs
head jelly for dessert, q housekeeper
can manage to make both ends meat.
-Picayune.
SCHOOL TEACHER-"Why were the
prisoners who were executed called
poor sinners?'" Scholar-"Because
rich sinners always get of. Der
Hausfreund.
MoTHER-So you wish my daugh-
ter for your wife? He (gallantly)-
Partly that, madam, and partly that
you may be my mother-in-law.--De-
troit Free Press.
OLD FRIEND (playfully)-And so
you married Boston girl? Can you
always understand her when she
talks? Mr.. Gotham-Um-not when
she talks to the baby.
THE addition of a letter changes
the appropriate song Of the season. 1t
is now sheet me at the CRATE, love"
The gate is locked for the winter
season. --Lancaster Examiner.
"WELL," said the good-natured
man, as he sat in the restaurant,
"that is a most accommodating wait
er. He probably thinks l am not
hungry and is waiting for me to get
an appetite. Washington Star.
LAwYER-The witness will now
please state his vocation. You raise
chickens, do You not? 'Rastus II.
Clay with marked emotion)-'Decd
1 doesn't, yo' honah, only oncet, an
den L clean forgot myself Chicago
News Record.
THE GRooM-You look envious,
old man? The best mani am.
The groom (happily supposing be is
the .envied one)-Of whom? The
best manor the minister. You
say you are going to give him a hun
dred.-Brooklyn Life.
HERE is a suggestion worth noting:
In many cases, instead Of announc-
ing a woman's good deed with the
text, "She hath done what she
could" quite as fitting text would
be, "She hath done what she thought
she couldn't. Chicago Standard.
MRS. PUees-How is your son get
ting along, Mrs. Mugs? Mrs. Mugs
Fine He's making money hand
over fist as a champion bicycle rider.
"But what will he do when that fad
wears out?" "By that time he expects
to be doubled up so that he can travel
round as a freak. Street & Smiths
Good News.
4
An Elenhant's Fear of "A Mouse.