The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1892-06-26
Tho Etiquette Of tho Great East Side

A productive field for the student OF social
customs and manners Is the east side OF
New York. Learned books and magazine
articles have been written about the ell
quette and manners OF that small fraction
OF tho 1900 900 Inhabitants Of New York that
lives In brown-stone houses. family to the
house: while tho mass OF the people who
arc crowded into tenements, have not
had WARD MoAbLIsTER to declare
what constitutes good and bad form among
them. or all the blue and gold books about
New York society. not a chapter gets east
OF the Second avenue. and none would 60
that far were 1t not for Stuyvesant square.
1t Is an easy fallacy to fall into to assume
that only rich people have manners. and
that there Is no etiquette or social code on
the avenues that are known by tho letters
OF the alphabet instead Of numbers. In
fact. the code OF etiquette Of the east side
Is moro rigid than the code that prevails
on tho Fifth avenue: and there Is a GER
tain simplicity about east side etiquette
which should endear it to any student. A
philosopher could trace the development Of
good many feudal theories and mediDval
customs in tho habits OF the young men
and young women OF the east side. Things
have not there got to the point where
young man who Is In love with young
woman Is afraid to show it constantly: or
where the young woman Is ashamed to ac-
knowledge how much she likes it. or how
proud she Is OF It. 1t Is not fashionable
there for girl to pretend to be indifferent
to the man to whom she Is engaged: and
such q thing as n girl receiving attentions
from other men when she Is engaged or
married. except with the open consent Of
her fianc6 or husband. would never be
tolerated. East side young men do not put
up with great many things with which
no fault is found elsewhere.
The vocabulary Of the east side furnishes
number Of terms to indicate accurately
the gradations Of affection and the ap-
proach OF matrimony. A young man be-
gins as gentleman friend: IL he succeeds
in that role. and is DESTROYS Of more in
Innate and friendly acquaintance. he pro-
oeeds until he Is company: and from that he
becomes steady company. After serving his
term as steady company he becomes the
girls fellow. The next further advance Is
matrimony. There are corresponding
grades with the girl. She begins as lady
friend and goes through tho successive
stages. This structure OF love and
prospective marriage bliss may be
broken Mt any time by the act Of
either party. or by tho SURPRISING by
some other gentleman friend or lady friend
OF the one already existing. 1t is no indig-
nifty for girl to have young man with
whom she Ia only lady friend take some
other lady friend Of his to ball or on some
Sunday excursion. She has no right to DO
asked first: but when the young man be-
comes company. 1t Is his duty. as the
term implies. to escort the girl to all
social affairs. provided some other company
does not interfere: aud ns steady company,
it Is for him to appear ut frequent regular
intervals, aside from the duty OF taking the
girl to all possible places. That gives him
the right to the first choice OF her society,
and to the allotment OF her dances and time.
Rights and duties ft in with beautiful
correlation. As the girl Is entitled to the
presence and protection Of tho young
man at balls and excursions. he is en-
titled to her complete and undivided
time and attention. except when he chooses
to have 1t otherwise. He is her chap
eron. knight. and prospective proprie-
tor in ono. II any other man wants to
dance with her. 1t Is his duty to ask per-
mission OF the steady company: and the
girl has no business whatever to 60 of with
another young man without the steady
company's consent. II thore Is such con-
duct on the part OF the girl. as may hap
pen when some fascinating young man who
hitherto has been only gentleman friend
tries to advance himself. there are two
| courses open to the steady company: either
no thrashes the aspiring young man. or he
abandons the girl with scorn for having dis
regarded the social proprieties and broken
the code Of cast side etiquette.
In this way the process OF natural selec-
ton has full swing. II the steady company
Is sufficiently strong and courageous. he &C.
cepts the alternative OF physical combat:
while II he Is weak or fearful. no has to sat-
isfy himself with expressions OF scorn.
This reproach can be conveyed In various
| ways. The man who brought the girl Is
entitled to her society, and the question:
"Who brung your" on such an occasion
implies heart brlmful Of reproach.
Public demonstrations OF affection are
due to this feeling OF proprietorship &C.
cepted and enjoyed by the girl as we'll as
the man. 1t Is o common sight on OK
cursions or at balls. to SEQ tho girls and
mon paired or. the man having his right
arm around the girl and holding her hand.
while her head reposes on his shoulder.
and sho Is Indifferent apparently to all tho
rest OF the world. This belongs to the steady
company stage. as 1t would DO an I'M
propriety to permit such demonstrations
from mere gentleman friend. 1t Is very
likely that people In the Fifth avenue do
the samo thing from time to time. but they
do not doit in public: while the east side girl
sees no reason why sho should not manifest
before her friends any feeling that she would
manifest In her father aud mothers nat.
There is no feeling whatever OF lmpropri-
ETY. and no thought Of shame on the part OF
the girl who sits In the bow OF the Consy
Island boat and rests her head on the shout
der OF her steady company; quite tho con-
trary 1t isa feeling of pride and of willing
ness TO let other people know OF her pride
and low. not a rppreh an al hIa thIn1 NJ all N,