The Portland daily press., 1892-12-22
COLD CHRISTMAS FACTS.
Advantages and Disadvantages OF
Christmas Giving.
The Absolutely Necessary List--what .
Man May Give an Unmarried Woman
What He May Give Her If She
Happens to Be Married.
LoopYRlGHr, 1892. |

CuI launIoQ people Will TiSo u
and stand beside me. May the departed
spirit of dead Yule Tides, when only
love gifts dropped from Kris kringle's
pack, forgive multitude of persons
when they cry: ''Down with our COM
mercial Christmas" We are the VIC
Tins of tyrant and he makes life mis-
cradle.
1t is, alas, too true that, for the most
of us-for those women who live in the
zig towns and boast calling list. and
for men who are entertained in the
homes of married society women
Christmas is the day of bankruptcy, old
debts paid and new debts incurred.
We give because everybody else gives
and we do not feign to put a bit of heart
into our giving. Christmas means the
sudden necessity of bestowing unneces-
sary gifts.
The shops are filed with tired-faced
women, who rush about obeying the
mysterious behest of some imp of ETH
quette, who says that acquaintance,
even into the seventh remove, shall be
remembered land how unpleasantly)
at Christmas. What are the rules of
giving? Who should or can be, with
impunity, omitted from the list? And
how is an escape and a return to first
principles of giving, which are regu-
lated by heart, not head, possible? A
bevy of questions like these troop along
side as one hears the great query of the
week before Christmas: 'Well, won't
you be glad when it's over?"
The answers are varied as the kinds
of women who give them, but all agree
that Christmas, as we know it. is a for
mality.
Each one of us has, perhaps, five
friends to whom it is keen delight TO
give, but we have fifteen or twenty 9th
er friends who must, as sop to the
Christmas Cerberus, give us something
we don't want to be returned by the
gift of something else they had little
rather be without
That is because in our hurry we are
ta-tless and the perfunctory gift really
hurts the recipient. Sometimes we are
absolutely mercenary and the liveliest
trouble follows a grasping Christmas
victim. There is true story which SO
absolutely typifes the too pervading
spirit of the day that it must be quoted.
A man and his wife had argued for
months over the purchase of some cur
tains. His was mans will, but hers
was woman's way, which bent his will.
On Christmas morning the curtains lay
beneath slip Of paper, bearing the.
clinching clause: ITO my husband, with
his wife's love-
New Years morning dawned upon
bulky package bearing the legend:
'To my wife, hoping they may prove
as useful as ornamental" Oh, horrors!
The barbarian had given her a very
large and se1viceable pair Of hunting
1eggins. The insult was too great, and
now, believe, the matter has. gone to
the courts, where cross bill is entered
on the grounds of cruelty and abuse.
This may be irrelevant because it oc-
cured in the bosom of family and we
have to do only with etiquette of ac-
craftsmanship gifts But doesn't it,
as the moralists say. show us whittier
we are drifting?"
ST dare not assert said a society
woman who introduced her daughter
10 NEW 1OIh blllo ltll8 LlldU LILY
necessary list can be cut down. Christ
mas giving is as rigorous convention
as that / shall return my calls or dis
charge my social debts. Here are
those to whom I must give-my hus-
band and children, the only unalloyed
pleasure of the day; my servants, who
would leave if I did not give them
dresses of the finest quality; each and
every one of my relatives, sisters, broth
ers, sisters-in-law. brothers-in-law and
my cousins. Then come the dozens
of town friends who last year gave me
Christmas presents, which failed to
return at any of the intervening holt
days. These bear as plainly as if it
had been written on the card, Equal
values are expected Lastly reckon
gifts to people whom ] have visited and
whose hospitality | can't at once return,
and to church charities.
Believe me, Christmas and the man
ner in which one meets it largely de-
termines social prestige.
ga well-bred giver, of course, cloaks
the almost businesslke method of his
giving by dainty presentation. The
card is quite enough to inclose, though
q personal note is pretty fnesse.
'How can one escape thankless giving2
Icannot. Perhaps other women who
have less at stake may do it by a. simple
refusal to be burdened so. But imagine
what would result upon my announce
ment that no gifts would be received or
returnedl My acquaintance would
desert me, thinking fortune had failed,
and should be mortally uneasy over
debts not iquidated.
"What may a man give a girl to
whom he is not engaged? No more o,
less than at any other time of course.
Flowers, one hundred dollars worth OF
them if he chooses, and perhaps
book, though many mothers draw the
line at flowers. 1t seems to me that
girl is placed under as lasting obligations
to a man when she receives from him
800 in flowers as though she accepted
500 in jewels, but it is not so. A man
who has dined at my house feels bound
to return the hospitality by Christ
mas gift. Oftenest it will be silver fol-
my table, or handsome bric-a-brac fo1
=.