The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-27
~M0THER-N-LAW IS BOSS
Autocratic Position She Holds in
the Family in the Flowery
Kingdom.
They May Even Box the liars Of
Disrespectful Daughters
in-Ilaw.
Second Marriages Are Not at
NJ All Good Form.

widows Are Not Romantic In China and
Second Marriages Are Not at
~ All Good Form.
Written for THE HELENA IN~pEpENDENr1 4
-HE CHINESE SOCIAL WORLD is
M as antipodal 90 ours as is their geo
ell0 graphical position. The gay doinga
of the smart set, as reported IN our society
journals, would seem to the proper Chinese
mind a page unfit for publication"
When Lady Ts'ao entertains at dinner fair
danes only are hidden TO the feast. As for
balls and germans, ito trip the light fan
tastic toe'' in a land where aides have no
toes ia manifestly not in order. The sweet
girl graduate, the fair debutante, the dash
ing summer girl, are siraRs unknown IN the
fowery kingdom. Even the almond-eyed
widow may not practice her wiles, for a
second marriages, although sanctioned by
law, is not considered good form. Tho
olden time relict eeems not to have had the
utmost confidence in her own steadfast-
ness. It was customary for her to ampu-
tate her nose or ears, placing the dlsmem-
bored organ in the coffin of her deceased
husband 10 COHlOIb A1lA AL kAo nAoAS2
This evidence Of devotion was emphasized
by a solemn vow to remain q widow TO the
end Of time. In view Of the disfeuremsnt
the oath must have been altogether super
huous. Modern husbands in other lands
have a way Of insnring the constancy OF
their spouses by the insertion of a clause OF
limitation in their last will and testament.
1t ID doubtful, however, il John Chinaman
yet realizes the efficacy Of this method, it
not having occurred to his ancestors. The
custom of mutilation has fallen into disuse
in "modsrn" China, but the prejudice
against a second marriage still prevails,
ana the widow who refuses to wed is re-
parded as "a truo Chinese heroine"
If. however, the GOV maiden and the win
some widow have no part In the Chinese
voman's realm, that elsewhere most carl
cntnred individual, the mother-in-law, these
rises to a height of powernot dreamed Of IN
our philosophy. The first lady in the celes-
tial empire is, by no means, the empress.
Her chief honor is to be the mother Of tho
emperor's sous. Her mother-in-law. the
empress dowager, is the power in tho inn
perial palace. She is known as the mother
nf tie empires or the mother OF all man
kind" and what she says goes with re-
markable celebrity. This exaltation is a
feature Of flial piety which is tho keynote
of the Chinese code OF morals. Absolute
authority is, however, vested only in the
husbands mother, which imparts to 1t q
true Chinese flavor.
There classics embrace a Ritual of Decor
rum from whose laws there is NO appeal. 1t
otdsins that "a daughter in-law should re-
semble the shadow and echo of her mother
in-law. So shall she be praised by all who
know her. If you bend your will to your
mother-in-law she will be pleased, but you
will only have performed your duty. If she
makes YOU eat bitterness do not forget this,
and even if she is cruel and oppressive, do
not hate her," A rather difficult lesson this
might prove to even our most decorcus
young woman"
"A Chinese bride enters at once the home
of her husbands parents. If the family arc
in modest circumstance she becomes, not
the helpmeet of her husband, but tho
'help'' Of his family. All faults of her early
education are speedily corrected. If she
has been the social superior of her new rel
atives the mental services required of her
soon reduce her to their rank. Tho
Decorum Ritual DEGREES that, should
the relatives of the daughter in-law
first offer this gift to her husbands par
ents, and. if they accept it, be as delighted
rs if they had presented it to her. II they
decline and return it she must receive it az
though they were making her a gift. She
must not present anything to her own fam
AJ NAbAoOo hAASA ~ "a" - N4G IN
structs sons and their wives to be %reyerent
and obedient to their parents, none DISC
beying 8 omnand nor delaying in it's exc
cution. In point of fact. disobediencs to
the commands of the mother-in-law result
in punishment, usually in accordance with
the disposition of the elder woman rather
than the ofense of the younger. A sister
of Sorosis woald. without doubt, actively
resent having her ears boxed by her
mother-ln-law for being late to breakfast.
A young married woman in China would
not regard such treatment as humlliating
in the slightest degree. Indeed. she would
consider herself lucky to get eff SO easily.
Among the lower classes in hin brutal
treatment of dauRhters-in-law Id not iRfre-
quent. Many instances of extreme cruelty
are reported, but there il no redress. The
law recognizes the supreme power of the
mother-in-law, and even should daath en-
sue, as the result of Punishment, Il nloasy
payment will settle the matter to the satis-
faction of the authorities. The relatives
of the victims may not into eede during
her lifetime. Should che suceumb to G uel
treatment they may demand for her a
handsome funeral. As for the husband,
he is absolutely powerlesa. The rules of
propriety positively prohibit any inter
ference on has part. Ihe sacred ediots class
the ain of seltish attachment to wife and
children in the same cateqo y as gambling.
Tbs latte is by far the more p evalent v1cs.
The doctrine of tilial piety gives RIGS to
many strange practices. The Filial Pisty
Classics cites a typical instance of true tlial
devotion devotion. A man who lived in the
Han dynasty, being very poor, found that
he had not sufficient food to nourish both
his mother and mis- infant child. He the g.
fore suggested to his wife that since the
little one shared the mothers food they
should bury the child. I'VE may have an
other child" he arRred. but should mothrr
die we cannot obtain her again" The wife
dared not oppose him and, accordingly, a
grave was dug. when a vass of gold was
found with an inscription stating that
heaven bestowed this reward Oh a tilinl sou.
1t may be imagined that under similar CIR
cumstances all American mother would
have guarded her babo and would have
awaited with Christian resignation the
demise of the old lady. Chinese wives ara
evidently disciplined.
The mother-in-law is not the only unoer-
talnty a Chinese bride encounters ia her
new horne. II her husband has married
brothers questions Of law and order have
to be settled with their families. The wife
of the elder brother, by vi tue of her posi-.
ton, takes precedence after ths mother.
The wives Of the younger brothers are sub,
jeet to her commands and may not presume