The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-05-05
Troubles of q Backward Lover.

IOr ne, to-oay.
"Hunph !' said I, for I never lose
chance to Hnub her, for she is alway
sneering at me for being an old maid.
Now am all practicability and rusl
and hurry, and moving from morning til
night, my hands are big and red ant
rough am stiff and long and angular
all the graces of my girlhood have beer
scrubbed, washed and ironed out of me
But Ems different. She is one of th'
lolling, languishing kind. She can sim
per and giggle, and sob, don't John'ah,
in ooh, do John.ah" tone of voice, snt
she has had beau1 without number eve
since she was born.
After she had been deluged by lover'
of all nationalities, she caught a rea
Yankee, not one of the sharp, driving
money. making kind, but gentle, soft
headed, tender.h hearted fellow. He never
failed to put off for tomorrow what
ought to be done to- day.
Well, as started ont to say, EN- hat
announced that Joe was going to ask fol
her, and L had "humphed" in my mos
incredulous style; for during the las
Eve years Joe had had periodical spasm'
of courage.
Full nineteen hundred times he had
made up bis mind to ask pa for Em, and
then begged off. I could never under
stand why it was such a bugbear, for ps
would have been perfsctly delighted tc
give her away, for she has been quite 9
bill ofexpense to him. After few dsyl
Em would prod him up again and drive
him to the verge of distraction. Then he
would brace up again and promise to do
it, but it always ended in his postponing
1t Indefinitely.
So I said "humph |" as aggravstingly
as possible. That made her furious.
"You act as if you thought he wouldn't
ask pa"
At that moment Joe unluckily came
into the kitchen. :
"Em, hadn't you just as soon I'd wait
until next Sunday?"
"No, I wouldn't" she crieo, angrily.
"But, En-, by that time I might get a
raise in my salary"
Poor fellow, he was only earning if
teen dollars week, and it was The dream
of his life to get "raise."
eyes," EN- answered bitterly, "a raise
has been your excuse for the last four
years; why don't you ask permission to
put it off until after the Worlds Fair p
He evidently did not notice the cut
ting sarcasm of her voice, for he said, ea'
gerly-
"Why, that's good idea; suppose we
wait until then, 80 you can be at home
to help your folks entertain your re]a-
tions ?"
En- was in such rage that she almost
cried, but instead she fairly screamed, !
"Joe, do you want to marry zne?"
"Of course I do," be responded p!ac-
idly, cor else I wouldn't come to see
you"
swell, then, you must ask pa, for
ana not going to get married without his
consent"
"But am going to ask him."
"When ?"
snow, see here, EN-, do be reasonable
be knows what I come here for, and, Of
course, he is willing, or he wouldn't lei
me come"
"When are you going to ask pa?" she
repeated aDgrily.
"Why-ah, don't know-ah!"
"Wa.l, now, I'll tell you ONE thing
Joseph, that if you don't ask him to day
I'll never, never marry you"
"Oh, En-, don't be hard on mel"
"You march up this minute, Sir, and
ask pa for me, or I'll never marry you r
and she rushed out of the room, flung
open the piano and began to play go vic
lently, that thought every cord in ths
instrument would snap.
Joe looked at me appealingly.
"What do you think I had better do p
"Go upstairs and see pa" replied.
"Do you suppose she'll feel better in
few minutes?" he inquired anxiously.
"No, she is in dead earnest, and If yo'
want her
"I'll have to ask for her, suppose,
he answered, with disconsolate sigh.
couldn't help feeling sorry for him
for be looked as detected as if he wer'
going to the stake.
"It won't be very hard" I ventured II
say.
"Ob, it's terrible thing to do."
His lips grew white, the perspiratiol
stood out On his forehead, and he wa
shaking from head TO foot with nervou
chill.
So he went upstairs, a,d was gon'
about five minutes, and they both cam
tearing out into the kitchen, where the.
danced and embraced, and kissed eacl
other like two mad creatures. She wa
so proud of him, and he was 80 glad b.
had the thing off his hands, that the.
nearly strangled each other.
Then he had to tell her about fort.
times how be felt when he went up staize
sad what pm said. how ma looked, ant
what they taought, and how they acted
and all about it, until I Was forced t
come to the conclusion if this is tn
nineteenth century style of "asking pa
I am glad no one ever asked for me.
Couldn't Tell q Lie.
An exchange says that few days ag
a sewing machine agent received q cal
Il