The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-10-28
The ONLY Jerry.


Jerry Simpson is here. He arrived
this morning. The English gentleman
who is acting as business manager for
the fusiouists. had given out the impress
sion that he would not come till the 7:15
train. and even engaged quarters at the
Western Hotel. to further mystify and
F.! delude the band of :.ssassins which is
now a part of the regular program.
Instead of coming on The 7:l5 train.
aud putting up with DIR. Gal!and. Jerry
came on the ! 80 train. from which him
self and his body guard were received
by trusted emissary and conveyed to
the Central Hotel, which is situated on
an impregnable eminence north of the
court house. from which temple of JUS
tice Under Sheriff TarboX could rally TO
the defense of our distinguished guest
in case Of an attack at any hour of the
night. The great statesman himself was
bestowed in the attic, while the trnstiest
of his guard were stationed in and abOu.
the corridors at the foot of the stairst
and strict orders given that none
might pass on any pretext whatever.
These precautions being complete. Mr..
Simpson removed his coat of mail, drew
two derringers, one razor and dirk
knife from his capaciOus boo: legs, and
throwing himself across the bed, sunk
into , nrnfnupl Slumhar
We are compelled to acknowledge that
Jerry Simpson has real talent for get
ting up sensations ana exciting the peo-
pie. His latest fake. the imaginary plot
to assassinate. sounds genuine and real
istic when recOunted with the tragic eX-
pressions and gestures which Jerry can
render to perfection. He cares not for
the injury this SANDER will do the peO-
pie of his district. so long as he makes
sensation. and poses as as an embryo
martyr.
Day before yesterday, while speaking
at kinsley. Mr.. Simpson held up his
hands aud shouted in tragic accents that
he was willing to die for his party. This
is where he is strong. He will do no
routine work for his constituents. and
cuts no figure in Washinton except to
occasionally stir up sensation by some
exaggerated remark concerning the
supposed wretched condition of the peo-
pie.
In all his career, neither in public
speech or private conversation, has our
member of Congress ever been known
to utter one word of praise for the beau
tiful and prosperOs region in which he
lives. Having vainly tried to incite the
people to acts of anarchy and violence,
he now SANDERS his own peaceable and
law abiding neighbOrs bv circulating
the story that some Harper county par
ties have agreed to kill him for two
thousand dollars. We might endure the
reputation of being cutthroats and hire
ling assassins. but the idea of competing
with the pauper labor of Europe by
numbering for such paltry sum. is
what hurts. Here i'm western Kansas an
assassin would quit the business and go
to raising wheat rather than kill bloom
ing Congressman for $1,000 per head.
For all these misdoings the people
will quietly retire Mr.. Simpson to pri-
vate life. But his talent for devising
sensations will make his fortune on the
stage, and we confidently expect to see
the sitting member from the big Sew
enth tread the boards of the Dodge City
opera houses i'm less than six months.