davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31

Mamma" SAID Johnny, eft swallowed
a thermometer would die by degrees?"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31

Sister: What are you going to Be whsn
you grow up2 Little Brother: I'm goin' to
% lion tanner in q circus. "You? Why,
you run away from . dog" Eyes, but dogs
isn't trained not to hurt anybody"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31
SoulL o. Corporations.

S0uII O COrpOrattOns.
Rural Child: don't believe the canal
com panies care much for children.
Mother: Why not?
Rural Child: In the summer they let the
water IN, SO we'll gst drowned, and in the
winter they let the water out, SO We can't
skate.-Street Il Smiths Good News.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31

1rA Poster: NJ husband gives me an
The money b wins q poker for a.oves. Mn.
Harlow: I'd never get any then. ! make
:n1ne give me- an amount equal to what b
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO, co
I.uCAs COUNTY,

STATE Of OHIO, ClTf OF 1ULkOO, [ ea
LUCAS COUNTY.
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he 10
the senior partner of the firm OF +. j. CHENEY
& Co., doing business in the City Of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, and that said firm
win pay the sum Of ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS Tor each and every case Of Catarrh that
cannot be cured by the use Of HALLS CATARRH
CURE.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this ebay Of December, A. D. 1886.
{ A. W. GLEASON,
s1AA Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces
Of the system. Send for testimonials, free.
EJ. CHENEY & CO., Toledo o.
~ Sold by Druggists, 55c.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-31
A Sick Man.

Mr.. Blaine Is a very sick man
You will notice thar all accounts of his
malady begin by stating that He tool
cold"
This is the origin of moro than half the
maladies that affiict the human race.
You cannot always avoid taking cold.
You can easily cure yourself when you do
take cold.
Get bottle o.. Reds German Cough ana
Kidney Cure.
= 1t is the best thing in the world.
1t is the only cough remedy on the markes
that is safe, agreeable, pleasant, certain.
1t is the only remedy of which it can be
truthfully said it is impossible 10 take an
overdose.
Get it of druggist.
The sma.- .ottles are 25 cents, the larg.
ones are fifty cents.
Sylvan Remedy ca.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19

Since its first introduction. Electric Bit
tors has gained rapidly in popular favor,
until now it is clearly in the lead among
pure medicinal tonics and alteratives-con-
tanning nothing which permits it's use as a
beverage or intoxicant, it is recognized rs
the best and purest medicine for all all
ments Of stomach, liver or kidneys. It
will cure sick headache, indigestion. con-
stipation, and drive malaria from the
system. Satisfaction guaranteed with
each bottle or the money will be refunded,
Price only 50 cents per bottle. Sold by e.,
b. Hale q Co.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19
.ttraotian for visiting oollepians
- . I.
- .
. II =

sttraotian for visiting oollegians. II is
possible that most of the fraternities will
hold conventions in Chicago during IL
fur and a proposition has been made that
a panhellenio council of all the ~organiza-
tions be held under the auspices OF the
worlds congress auxiliary. These and
other matters will be discussed by the COM
lnittee at its meeting in May. Among the
larger colleRe f%rnternities are: Alpha
ALTA Phi. Beta Theta Phi, Delta Kappa
Epsilon, Delta Epsilon, Phi Delta Theta,
Phi Kappa Psi. Psi Epsilon and Sigma Chi.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19
Arc You Suffering

From back ache, inflammation of the blad-
der, brick dust deposit or stone in the blad-
der, or in fact any ~derangement of the
kidneys or urinary organs? IF thus afflicted
DO not lose time and waste money on worth
less liniments and worse plasters, but strike
at the scat of the disease at once by using
the grentest all of known remedies, the eel
ebrated Oregon Kidney Tea. Pleasant to
take, purely vegetable. Satisfaction every
time.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19
Tho Great Northern

Leaves Helona daily at lilo a. m, and is
the short fast line to the east. They run
palace, dining and sleeping cars and free
colonlst sleapers. Cheap one-way, also
round trip tickets on sale at CITY ticket
office. No. 6 North Main street.
B. H. LANGLEY,
General Ticket Agent.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19
- IL E1T1IN -.
OF ID
Wholesale GqunHouseo OIL. |srae|&Co..
For the Month Of April.
POSITIVE CLOSING OUT SALE

This IS no advertising dodge, but ! mean business, as prices
prices and are subject to change monthly. Nowis the chance for
dealers to buy strictly pure WHISTLES lat Dntlicrs' prices ia large
quantities. and save freight. Will sell in quantities 10 sui, from
one barrel to limit OF stock. The following goods in stock:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-04-19
Free Bonded Warehouse, LaWrenceburg, Kentucky.

50 bbls. W. II. MeBraycr, Fall 'ss....,.,, ST.
Will sell only in 5-bhl lots, Delivered with u. S
tifcatc, free of all charges, in Lawrencebure
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
e Literature.

There's q good time coming for ocu
lists and opticians" remarked IN eye
specialist recently: awhile ago the
blackboards in the public schools aided
us greatly in sending to us round-eyed
children for treatment for near-sighted-
ness The press all over the country
called attention to this fact, and the
method of instruction in the public
schools has been changed for the better
in that respect But a new class Of
patients is coming on. These cheap
editions of standard authors, where
thousands upon thousands of impress
sions are taken from one set of stcreo-
typed plates, arc ruinous to eycsight.
The letters are blurred and greatly
smeared SO that they run into each
other, nothing being clear and distinct.
The same is true of the cheap editions
Of the 'EncyclopcGia johnbullanica,'
which ray not be so bad for occasional
reference. but will. if stuck to, put out
tie eyes Of the innocents, who, II they
knew the dreadful fate before them,
would plead as pathetically against the
cheap editions Us little Prince Arthur
with Hubert against having his eye
balls scared with hot irons at the COM
mand of cruel King John"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
Harrison and Reid.

No one who has observed the
tendency of Mr.. Whitelaw Reds
fortunes will be surprised that a
nomination for so rcposeful yet
potential an office as Nice-Prcsident
should be their latest development.
No student of President lIarrIsOn's
policy in bestowing honOrs and in
apportioning the responsibilities of
his administration will be surprised
that he should have preferred to make
his second effort for the Presidency
in company with a distinguished
journalist. No ono will deny either
that of all the newspaper editors
whom the President has officially
associated with himself, Mr.. ltied, by
the brilliancy and value of his achieve
ments while in Office, is 10y far the
best entitled TO be taken on the Re
publican National ticket.
Unlike the late Mr.. Greedy, who.
while editor of the Tribune. also ran
on a National ticket, Mr.. Red is an
unlocked partisan of the party nomi-
mating him lie is a straight-out Re
publican of Blainc-IIarrison antccc-
dents u~ndisputed, and he has V
shown so much as a twitch of the
Mugwump palsy. lie has not DIR.
Grcelcy's power of imagination, but
he is eminently qualified tor high and
cxalting office. lie should make a far
better Vice-Prcsident than Greeley
could have hoped TO make a President.
Between Reid and Harrison there Is,
in addition, an unusual samcncss of
disposition to control the emotions.
Neither is dcmonstrative in his way
of speaking or performing, and yet
each is pretty sure to understand the
business i'm view and to hit upon the
promising method OF doing 1t.
Neither might shed upon it the illumi-
nation of genius that would make its
performance pleasure, and rally his
following with enthusiasm, yet any
plan of action %emanating from either
of these gentlemen would be sure all
the same to receive a powerful and
determined support. When it comes
to November next the Republicans
won't 90 TO the polls with SO much
noise and shouting as OIL some preced-
ing occasions, perhaps, but they will
20 with votes in their hands,and they
will be cast tor Harrison and Reid
. ]. San.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
A NeM ~InSuIator.

A new material possessing improved
insulating properties is announced, the
article being composed Of seven pounds
OF sulphur. L and onc-half pounds of
pipe clay, II and oac-half pounds of
slate dust, two ounce of Parafinc wax,
and a variable quantity Of oz;Ie-the
amount of this latter To be added dc
pending chiefly upon the color which it
is desired II give the mixturr, and may
vary from onc-half 10 onc-fourth of the
total weight CT the other ingredients
In the process of making Up this mix
tire the clay and the slate dust arc
first thoroughly compounded together
by grinding, the materials being heat
ed; the para:inc wax is th"a ad!eI,
ard the mixture Incorporated into a
paste. After being exposed for 4 time.
by means of which it becomes dry and
hard, the composition is ground to n
powder, and then combined with the
proper quantities Of sulphur and metal
lie oxide, when it is IN 4 proper state
for use.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
Notice to Contractors,

The undersigned ClcIk of DiStric d.. Town
ship No. :, Range 10, will Receive sculr-, Lids
for the erection of a school hons" Bis Will
be received M to Ju'y2, iSe, at ; O'Clock =.
m at Egypt Mills, Mo. School hoUsc to he
completed by October list, l&H
SrrtIF C~ATiDNS:-f rauc house .iNiU T. he
build Oh p~illar--onc every fctt-nf good stone.
Pillars Ia be l. inches in the cruuaG. II inches
faci. nj bottom aai 10 inches at ton Pillar ia
ri>" /. inches abov" the g-"u"'i. S.lls Ia be- OF
good sound white oak i"N!" face Four siiis to
he - fee. lag ari tw" ~ ia feet lpag stead
ing 1NfNl9 pGrlar nth H. ZACH run. EoUr crr-
,rr posts f\6a -. hra-rd with M five foot rua
o. siIls a:.d s~tradiH%. Sleeper 1\lCN31, siN-
teen inch ru1 with :, lines OF bridging a.ditt
down tot iarh:s ga s!ll. Plates :Nt. poplar
!;aitrr !NG with ; pitch and II inch En>-I
ib"arlc'i with iirst-c.a5s dressed poplar
Windows to be lights IiN+n inches, circle top
Inside aT't ont with spring st3,s a!,.'yr arI
below, e widows. : on zach side Rot 20 -"
inches long ; inches wide and given { iacI..s
to the weather. Floor To be la!ri with scrIr,l
Hlass pine { inches WidP. Walls 20 b. wuin-
coated :; feet high and to have two coat, Of Ill.
plastCrCd in hard fmish OHc collar fram NJ
spiked to Cnch corplr Of raftrrs l. inches above
tn" plate with circle board from each beam 10
Stealing below plate oI both sides. One
double door in the Irolt > s-l2NG sig. one AMI
o.e-half inches thick. with good lock and
h~i1:es: also circle transom above dnnr. Chin
ney 10 commence Un q bracket at hack end uf
room } feet below the ceiling aud 10 he brick
To- the round laid HAT and rNiCn,tri -. feet
above the comb OF the roof: also a hole. To he
aud out side to have thrv" Gusts OF good whit.
lead and oil paint.
All work must b. done III frst-class work
maulikr maHucr.
The board RESERVES the right TO reject a.,v
AID all hiis. & W. SCItACk, Pres.
IUoMAS u F~:;-EHl:, Clerk.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

Twenty millions more for pen
sions' is the latest Democratic out
cry at Washington. Millions for
rivers, harbors and creeks, but not a
cent for the wounded Union veteran
soldiers. Is the cry OF the Democratic
solid South.
But who is responsible for the PEN
sion appropriations? Who but the
Democratic solid South, the instiga-
tors of secession, who from the time
that they fired upon the Stars and
Stripes al Fort Sumpter up to the
time of Lees surrender were con-
stantly making up the pension roll
of Union veterans.
Ii comes with bad grace from any
Democrat, and particularly from any
Southern Democrat, to object 10
pensioning the deserving Union
vetorans of the war.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

Don tex for = temperance crrnon
was found the other day in IA western
town. In 4 whisky barrcl found in .
back alley were discovered forty-cight
reptiles of various kinds and per-
s~uasions. Those who are always ready
t. defend the cause of liquor claim that
these snakes took refuge in the barrel
FROM the cncrCaching high water. BE
that as il may, the snakes were there
all the same, and made 4 horrible sight.
This is another argument which en-
perancc people Should use against strong
drink. Think Of it. eSclai:ns a con-
temporary. If forty-eight snakes can
be prodrced in al cr,Pty whisky bar
rel in 4 short sracc If time. how many
snakes would YOU suppose = on
tanned in the boiler Of Il longtime to-
per?
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
Party That Keeps Its Promises.

The Party That Keeps ITS Promises.
When Governor Mckinley declared
at Minneapolis that Republican con-
yentions "declare principles and
policies and purposes, and when in
strusted with power they execute and
enforce them" he made a statement
whose truth every Republican will
recognize. The platform of the Ma
tional Republican Convention of 1883
furnishes a striking illustration of
this salient fact. That representa-
tive body of Republicans declared
that "thc Republican party will effect
all needed reductions of the national
revenue and by such revisions of the
tariff laws as tend TO check imports
of articles produced by our people.
the production of which gives en-
ploymcnt to IL labor, and release
from import duties those articles OF
foreign production Except luxurieS)
the like of which cannot he produced
at home"
The party of progress has grandly
fulfilled promise. The free list has
been notably increased. The value
of articles imported free of duty dur
ing the year ending March 81. 1889.
aggregated S25i,294.235, or 3l.65 per
cent. of the total imports for that
year. The value of merchandise on
the free list imported during the year
ending March 81, 1892, amounted to
S~461,473,523, or 1913 per cent. OF the
whole value of the imports for the
same period.
The importation of dutiable COM
petitive articles has very greatly de-
creased in value as an effect of the
Mckinley law. But of the most
convincing proofs of the beneficial
results of the measure Is seen in the
notable increase in exports since the
passage of the bill two years ago.
The excess of exports over imports
for the three years ending March 81.
1889. was 2S.9S4, 73?, while for the
three years ending March 81, 1892, ii
was S2s1,197,367.
When the Republican party
promises to do anything it does it.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

TIE latest ilinii in the society way is
the 'hyP-otic solial," which has Gccn
going about for the past three wcci.s.
Acompany of friends is invite! aa1 IN
amateur hypaotist i b-3"glt in who
proceeds to diver; TIE sr!v.: auiicrcc
by experiments With v~2rious Persons OF
the company. There are three or four
of these amateurs whoare picking up a
few dollars through these exhibitions.
One of them. Il CLERK, Is said TO
be developing IN sach q marvellous
way that his friends are cndcavor-
ing to persuade him that he could make
a fortune es n ~full-hedgci professional.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

Senator Wilcott, of Colorado, has
done some good work during his
career, but if he had never done any
thing else than shattcr the precedent
of q century by entering the Senate
chamber attircd in a striped shirt, a
silken belt and a IAN colored shoes he
would have deserved well of his con-
stituency and of the country. 1t is
time that health and comfort shall
have a voice in the hot weather attire
of the American gentleman, too long
subjected 10 the sweating system" of
brOadcloth and starch. Ii would do
the Senators good to follow Mr..
WOlcott's breezy example.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

A FEW days ago the Columbia river
was reported to Ike s~arrsing with dc
licious little fish known a. oUlachars.
1t wus the beginning of the annual
great run of the fish, which lasts usu-
ally ten days. The oolGchans furnish
the Indians one Of their principal items
of food for about Six months of the
year. Five canoe lo2ds of fish were
caught by n few Indians with the old
fashioned rake the FIRST day Of TIE run.
Before coal oil IVES cuIlmoa t'.c Indians
dried the fish in gre. quantities t. far-
nish light in The winter.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

TIE whalcback steamers are making
their way on their merits ~ lake and
sea-faring vessels. 1T the present time
two of these vessels are in aurccssiul
operation. the E~ctrlorc, which made
the trial trip from puluth to Liverpool,
and the Joseph L. Colly, vLirh plies
between Boston ard So;th American
ports. But in the course Of n short time
Il whole feet is to be PIT on the Pacific
as well IS the Atlantic. Accompany has
been formed with Il capital stock of ten
million dollars which has already given
orders for the building If Il number Of
the whalebac!is.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
What n Pity

that so many otherwise attractive,
polite, and particular people alllict
their friends by the foul and disagree
able odor of their breath; it is munly
caused by disordered digestion, and
can be corrected by removing the
cause, by using that pure medicine,
Sulphcr Bittcrs.-LIeahh Mogaziae.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

PENNSYLVANIA Intends to make n hor.
ticultural exhibit which will surpaas
anything OF the sort yer made. Aside
from fruits AID viticulturc, in which
the state will not attempt to oatLo
other portions Of the country, all
branches of horticulture will be splcn-
didly represented George W.Childs.A \.
j. Drcxcl and several others, who have
very large and valuable collections, will
give or loan to the exposition their
finest and rarcst plants. some of which
cannot be duplicated.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

DURING the May term Of the superior
court at Caribou. de, u number OF
aliens were ~na:uraiizcl, among them
an freshman. When the clerk put the
question: DO you all ale
glance to thcqrccn Of Great britain and
lrcland?" etc, the Cclt replied: "Ill go
back on the queen; hut. young man, I'll
never so hack On cid Ircland-rcvcr,,"
The lawyers enilcd, the Spectators tit
tered and Judge Robinson laughed ont
right. The candidates conditions were
accepted, and he got his papers
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

TIE new government regulations re-
qniring distilled spirits to be weighed
instead of guaged for taxation purposes
are reported as squeezing the whisky
trust The internal revcnuc depart
mcnt officials Lave gathered some sta
tistics on the subject, and the figures
show that in the Chicago and Peoria
districts the daily increase in receipts
of taxes from spirits is ovc three thou
sand dollars.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

OK n OF the islands OF the coast of
Maine lives a man. row fifty years old,
who was born there and has ncvcr been
of the island lie has accumulated a
fortune in the grocery business and is
content to live and die on the few sea-
GRIT acres.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

THE latest fad in the line of collect
ing is that of colored posters-the bills
with which the enterprising poster
adorns boards and fences and dead
wallsabout town. In France end In sew
cral of the German cities this ncwm ania
has taken q deep hold anil is spreading
roniGly
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

A coPPEEsAIrH at the Bath CSfc.) IRON
works has hammered u miniature tea
Kettle from n small copper cent The
small tcaliettle has a swinging handle
n movable cover and nozzle, just as
any teallcttle has. and water can be
boiled il il.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

ONE OF the worst calamity howlers"
that has appeared lately is Rowling
Bear, an Indian who proclaimed that
within VIC years Z great famine will
spread over the entire country, and that
there will be neither corn, wheat nor
grass and that all animals will die of
starvation
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

Some of the title snObOcracy of
England refused to receive Mr.. Potter
Palmer, Of Chicago, during her recent
visit because her husband is n hotel
keeper. 1t is quite likely that the
noble snobs Sho refused TO recognize
Mrs. Palmer were members of the
beer peeragc, who are gradually con-
yerting -England's aristocracy into a
sort of brewers trust.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

Sam Jones. at a revival meeting Mt
Nashville, Tenn, Sunday night, made
this declaration:
"If old Tammany were to go to
hell in a body and knock at the door
the devil would only let them in one
at a time. If he were TO let them i'm
all at once they would knock him on
the head, elect their own devcl and
run things to suit themselves"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

A BosToN merchant has 4 gymnasium
for his female employees, who are pro-
fcssionally instructed from five to sis
o'clock every evening. There arc siS
hundred Of them aud their cmploycI
has to treat them ell with TIE gcntl"st
consideration lest he be knocked out in
onc rorn,i.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

A NEW BRAID of bicycles Is adj
vcrtiscd as being built on honor" y
judge out west started to ride one the
other day and the honor on which the
wheel was built did not save his honor
from being SO mussed up when the
thing capsized that his closest friends
passed hin upon the street without rec
oruizinC him.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

1T is said On good authority that Har.
ward distributes about eighty thousand
dollars n year among its students as aid
and reward in the forms of prizes, schol-
arships. etc.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
Real Estate For sale.

heSt EstNtc for S~se.
Choice Farms, 40 acre tracks.
Acre lots and city lots.
5 nice residences.
This property will be sold for half
cash and balance time to suit pur-
chaser.
Come aud see me if you want a
home. J. NJ. MORRISON,
Cape Girdeau, No.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25

A JUDGE in o Massachusetts, divorce
court has laid down the law hat when
a woman obtains a divorce she shall not
be permitted to sun her maiden