The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-08-21

walton or any art In the national conglom-
crate called ''Uncls SamF' Show an
American a beautiful pastoral painting and
he will ask the artist how much wheat 60
the acre the field over the right of the pict-
IRE is intended to produce.
Take him to a classical concert and he will
pick the biggest horn for the best music
every time.
And look at our language. Just think
how it has been iuggled aud jumbled. There
is no respect for purity, for form or prece-
deuce. Take the present craze for abbrevi-
ations 1t is abominable, scurriously abom-
| Unable, sir. How many citizens of Chicago
speak English to-dayl Just now asked the
waiter TO bring me cup of coffee right
away, and he said: Cert, P. D. O." Could
Dick Steele or Addison or old DR.. johnson
understand such English as ehatl
CUTTING IT SHORT.
Sometimes when get TO thinking about
Columbia being the gem OF the ocean, con-
clude that she has degelerated into secs
| ond-class rhinestone, and 1 feel like pack
ing up, absquatulning and emlgraSing to q
land where the gyasticutus gyasticutes, the
| snaggle-toothed tigledewug swims in the
swish and the sozzling swirl of the slubhery
| slime and the whangdoodle mourneth his
| 1rst-born.
went into railroad office the other day
and asked over what roads ] could reach 81.
Louis, Did the man behind the counter
answer me In English2 No, sir. He shot the
English alphabet at me as II 10 had been
fred from blunderbuss.
'St. Louis" he said. "Over the c., B.
and O.; c., r. /. and P; A., T. and s. F.
G. and A; l. c.; j. and s. W."
l looked at him in establishment
"Do you want a ticketW he asked, coming
back to English.
didn't, as / spoke English, and was not
va in a ma fna Rnrka / al lraA art hn
turned to another CLERK and said: I'D. II.
| suppose"
rambled over to take an elevated train
to the base ball grounds.
sis this the elevated" asked of the man
at the gate.
"Itis the Il, he said, correcting me.
"More American abbreviation, Thought /.
grabbing me by the arm and pulling me on
| the train.
'Do you like this better than the cables, "
I asked, drawing the guard into converse
ton.
"Cable, N. g." he answered to my
misery.
tarilyF'
"No, got the g. B."
Authorization everywhere, nothing but
the alphabet with dlsordered stomach.
l dropped over to the base ball game.
have always heard that 1t is the American
national game. guess that is true. 1t is
impossible, at least, to understand is with
the English language. opened the score
book. This is what greeted my eyes: A. {;
E.; ?. O.; II. B.; P. B.; 8. B.; B.. A.; B.:
R. B. on b.; H. by P. 1b on E.
THEY ALL DO IT.
And this in a country that claims to
speak the English languagel might as
oil haU hOaNa In fan oR
ingnio, In Southern Africa, watching the
native tribe Of Bigeonoperas playing game
called dissertations.
fed for the race tracks only to find a
worse conglomeratlon OF p. p; eh. g.. b. c. ;
br. g.; b. g.; Oh. f.; @. T.; oh. m.
And had paid my hard silver for this!
This abbreviation craze is spreading
where the actors talk of the O. P side and
the L. L. and the first L. E. and the second
L. E. and the L. o. M.
Look at the American societies. Can
anybody name them2 No, not by the En-
gllsh language. They are the l. o. o. F.,
the G. A. R., the W. G. T. u, K. Of L. ~,
and the G. o. P, K. of p. and F. M. B. A.
and thousand others. GO into a saloon
and you will hear somebody order an AL s.
and b. Lend a man a dollar and he will
| give You his l. o. U. Next month Sullivan
and Corbett will enter the P. r. at New
Orleans and fight O. R. The printer talks
intelligently about up. W. I. !. C.
The same day went to the base ball
game l dropped into big establishment
on State street. A woman was trying on a
| bonnet.
docs it ft" she asked.
ITO T." came the answer,
'Do look we'll in it,"
"Away up in G."
''How much will 1t COST"
"a v"
''pll take IL; send it up to the house G.
o. D."
Certainly"
That arrangement is satisfactory to you,
thenF
Eyes; all Q. K"
grasped the nearest pillar and painted
for breath.
That night as was going home a patrol
wagon carried a man away as passed.
"Who is itF' asked Of policeman who
is friend Of mine.
80, it's R, prominent NJ. D. Hos
Q. T."
Great heavens, mani" cried, "how do
you manage to talk SOP
"How-talk SOL"
why, with your D. It's and Q. It's"
80, said my policeman, smiling, cit is "a
simple as A. B. c."