The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-09-08
SEASIDE SORROWS.
A HERM!T's REcoLLEcTloNs OF
WATERING PLACE DlscoMFoRTs.
a Cynical Philosopher Who Found NnuSht
but Gnnts and vexntion of Spirit ut
Seashore and Lakeside Resorts-The
Delusions of Dog Days.
IspecInl Correspondenco.l

health differs from the dread of disease.
'They had gymnasia and olympic festi-
walls for the culture of strength" he says;
'we dSote our attention to hospitals for
the cure of debility"
1t is much the same with that secular
religion called the science of happiness.
We sprinkle our lawns and the foliage of
our front yard shade trees to mitigate the
glare of the summer sun, but the crusades
for the recovery of our lost earthly para
disc seem to have been abandoned by gen
eral consent. Free circus games have
been abolished. The maximum of pleas
ure having proved deusive ideal, we
stake our hopes Oh n minimum of worry
In midsummer the attainment of that
blessing becomes problem of almost uni
versal Importance.
For one toiler who saves money with
view to the realization of Sir John Lub-
books plan of earthly felicity n thousand
value the rewards of industry chiefly as
the means of effective flight from the mar
tyrdom of the dog days; in eastern America
alone million parboicd city jewellers in
vest IL considerable percentage of their
yearly savings in railway tickets in the
hope of lettering their condition by time
ly escape to the rural districts, to Europe
or even to the seashore.
The lingering belief in the possible sue
cess OF the latter cXpedient would, how
ever, not be apt to stand the shock of an
interview with an outspoken friond of
mine who has spent some twenty years of
his life In search Of peace, and rs prac-
tical comment has now transferred his
household gods to little orchard farm
in the Tennessee highlands
Isn't this place a little too high for
good fruit?" inquired after peep Mt the
dizzy abyss below my fricnd-Lookout
cliff.
"Ycs, too cold for cherries. pears or
peaches" said the refugee land much too
far from market to make apples n profit
able crop, but my trees are at least safe
from insects, and 1 enjoy IL similar immu-
nifty. There are no mosquitoes up here"
"BAt isn't it rather lonesome in winter?
A niee southern seaside resort would offer
better chance for sport and pastimc, I
should suppose"
Eyes, so did till tried it," said the ex-
perimental philosopher "Sports You'd
better cash a few checks before you risk it.
In Florida they will put you off an excur-
sion boat for firing II snap shot Mt n wild
goose and In California it's fifty dollars to
shoot n seagull. The sealions and seals
are all lnvioate, like the holy apes of Be
nares.''
can take long rambles without breaking
your neck in the cliffs. You can rusticate
and camp"-
Camp where? Hunting and camping
strictly prohibited 'Trespassers will bo
prosecuted to the full extent of the law
truculcnt signboarls ut every turn of the
road as long as you stick to the prom
enade woods of the reservation. The
moment you stray beyond you will step to
your waist in quagmires, and see snakes
enough to give you the delirium tremens
before you get out again.
but what about the rocky COASTS far
ther north, with lighthouses and fishing
resorts?'
You must have tried it from the way
you mention them together. Boats? You
need them indeed; before you can get a
mess of fish -go trolling for bluefish in a
boat that slips it's tiller ropes and whirls
you seasick enough to take your umbrella
for hammer headed shark cor try your
luck ashore. waste day surf fishing be-
fore you get bite, or crawl out Oh the
skill and be drenched by the splash break
ers."
Social resources ought to outweigh such
drawbacks Have you never tried beach
tennis or sentimental cliff rambles?"
Supremacy sentimental till you get So
bered up by divorce suit. Charge of en-
IRENE cruelty. Alimony and costs"
We'll, try primitive fishing resort,
like those on the upper lakes"
"Oh, yes, and come to believe in primi-
tive hades before the mosquitoes get
through with you Not intermittent gnat
serenades, but a fierce buzz, all pervatl-
ing clouds of winged bloodsuckers, torture
continued day and night without mo-
ment's intermission, for weeks together,
TILL you seek relief in plunge bath, unless
you prefer the plan Of the Chippewa In
dlans and grease your skin an inch thick.
Some OF our eastern swamp coasts are not
much better, and you can think yourself
lucky If you don't get sandneas into the
bargain or dose of malaria microbes. If
You survive ut all it's benefit of the
movement cure-the exercise YOU get in
kicking around and slapping your own
face"
"a good nights rest makes amends for
all that" =
Nights rest? Yes, if you can wait till
you are ready to faint away. The cool
nights read very pretty on the hotel pro-
gramme, but an old sailor could tell you
better. The cooling sea breeze dies out at
p. m, and at sunset you get feeble,
swcltering land wind, not good for much
before midnight, when it may helpa block
ade runner to crawl out of port And lust
by the time you really get something like
cat nap you are sure to be walked by the
screcch of night steamer and bumps at
your neighbours door, where somebody
wants to leave at 4 a. H. Then the
night is gone, and the last hope of an
hours sound sleep. The landlady keeps
turkeys to impress you with the prospect
of the Sunday dinner, and at peep of dawn
they begin to gobbic in Il way to make you
wish for the perpetual Sabbath of the new
Jerusalem. And just by the time the
breeze wakes up and the morning gets
lice and cool yon hear the gong and re
nounce all hopes of refuge in dreamland D."