davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
DID 1T GENTLY.
A Kansas Mans Way of Breaking bad
News to His Wife.

Travelling south over the state of
Kansas in. sleeper was typical
ranchman who had come in on
crutches. He acted like tenderfoot
until he was seated. During good
portion of the day he had said nothing,
and no one had said anything to him.
There was woman in the coach who
had looked sympathetically at the man
several times 1t turned out later that
she was the wife of Washington lob,
byist who was interested in some In
dian lands. Just before the train reach
ed Kansas City, the last town in Kan
sas on the road in point, the woman
struck the trail, and it was not long be-
fore the crippled ranchman and the
wife Of the lobbyist were as eommuni-
cative as newly-married couple on a
bridal tour. 1t came to the surface that
the ranchman lived near Arkansas City,
and that he was pretty well fixed. He
told the Washington woman that he
had met with an accident in Kansas
City while there selling his cattle. He
had been laid up at the hotel, he did
not say which one, until the day he
took the train for home.
Didn't your wife know that you had
been hurt" asked the lobbyists better
half
"She know'd thar he'd bin mishap
of some kind, but she didn't know just
who it were that wus hurt"
"Ah, that was very thoughtful in
you. Now, if the colonel (the colouel
was her husband) had been away and
anything had befallen him he would
have wired me and / would have been
at his side at once. But when your
wife sees you leaving the coach on
crutches will not that alarm her?"
81 reckon it won't. She don't skeel
very easy But then lest she might
have had her suspicious aroused have
sent her a telegraph-wire, / believe
you called it-that think will prepare
her for the sight"
"Ah, that was very thoughtful in
you. Then she knows that something
has happened"
'Yessum, but she hain't no idea just
what it is. AS you would say have
broke the ice mild-like, so thar won't
be no fallin down when she gets sight
of me. l telegraphed her that hed
run over street keer in Kansas City
and thet the keer he'd got the wust ot
it. So she has some sort of idee that
! thar hes bin collision. / think from
her acquaintance with me she has some
idee that / may be on crutches Oul
Kansas wimmin are allus prepared fol
the wust."
"Ah, how thoughtful in them. 1t re
lieves one so much to be always prepar
ed for bad news"
"Yessum; my wife allus expects to SCI
me come home in a box when go tt
Kansas City. But it has generally biz
| the other mans wife who experincet
the expectations. Chicago Tribune.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
JONES QUIT DRINKING.
A Butterfly That His Wife Painted Re-
formed Him. ltt

A Butterfly That His Wife Painted Re-
formed Him. at
Mrs. ones is taking lessons in china
painting, and as Mr., ]. was unaware
of the fact, she concluded to give him a
surprise And she succeeded beyond
her widest expectations.
The Jones tableware is pure white, a
delicate French china and it was with
a piece of this Mrs. Jones made her ex-
pertinent. tt
With much pains and after several
lessons, she painted a large butterfly,
with wings extended, in the interior of
one of the teacups.
As a work of art it was like nothing
in the heavens above, or the earth be-
meath, or "the sea that in the miz," but
the coloring was gorgeous aud stood
out in such bold relief that, as Mrs.
Jones herself said, sit looked as if it
might fly off at any minute !"
Mr. Jones came home and complained
of not feeling we'll. His face had the
flushed look which Mrs. Jones believed
to be Indigestion or the grip, and there
was an unsteady quality in his voice
that gave his speech kind of vocal
teeter.
Mr.. Jones had that cup ready, and
filing it with clear, transparent tea,
she handed it to him and awaited re-
suits.
The first look he gave into the cup was
a startled one Then he turned in the
cream and sugar, stirred the tea well,
and drank it off at draught Then
he looked into the cup again and gave
q wild shrek:
maria, send for the doctor, quick'
I've got em again!"
| "What, dear?' said Mrs j., sooth-
| ingly, as she flew to his side.
"The Jim jams! o, Maria III sign
the pledge now and never touch liquor
again if Pm spared this time. Oh, oh,
this is the real d. TSP
"What makes you think so, Mr..
Jones?" asked Mrs.J. in Greenland 3;
icy mountain voice. g
"That" "shrieked Mr.. Jones, pointing
to the inside of his cup that awful
thing there! Perhaps you can not see
it, but can. Oh, take it away-covel
it up-hide it, or l shall go mad"
| Poor Mrs Jones, she realized ther
what it is to paint butterflies for an un
grateful, unappreciative man, but i
gave her the whip hand on Jones. Sh'
quietly smashed that cup to smither
eens, and he believed that it was REALLY
a d. t. monster that he saw there. AM
Mrs. Jones will paint no more china
not if she knows herself, and she think
she does.-Detroit Free Press.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
He Gave the Weight.

Patrick was an employe in grocery
where the scarcity of help had COM
PEELED the grocer to take in an assist
ant who was entirely without expert
ence. One day the grocer, in weighing
out purchase to customer, searched
in vain about the scales for something.
Patrick he called out where S
the pound weight?"
''The pound weight is itP Sure it's
Misther Jones that has the, pound
weight"
"Mr. Jones has itP What do you
mean?"
"An' sure didn't you till me to be
perlite to the regular customers?"
"0f course"
"Well, thin! Misther Jones comes in
the day for pound O tay. An says
he, whin l axed him what quality O.
tay he wud have, 'Whativer We give
me, says he, give me the weightF Sc
l put in the pound weight in the pack
age wild the tay, perlite-lilSe, an it's
himself that's gone wild itl"-Youth's
COMPANION.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
Court Attendants i'm Uniform.

The thirty-two attendants of the SUI
preme court wear uniforme The coats
are of blue cloth cut in the Prince
Albert style, and trimmed with brass
buttons. Each attendant had to pay
twenty dollars for his outfit, and this
fact aroused more strenuous opposition
to the innovation than all the talk about
departure from old-fashioned democratic
simplicity in which some indulged. The
justices of the supreme court decreed
that the uniform should be adopted, be-
cause the experience of the Massachu-
sets courts proved it great convent.
ence. When stranger wants informa-
tion he can go straight to one of the
men in blue and brass instead of wan
dering around among lot of men in
civilian dress, some of whom may be
court attendants and most of whom are
uot-N Y. Recorder.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
NUMBER 81.
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.
"A poor man has as much right to
his own as king.


"A poor man has as much right to
his own as king.
1t is where human weakness ends,
that divine power begins. .-Segneri.
Put not thy soul in Satans hands,
in hope to have it back again by Christ
Cursed is he who sins in hope. Clark.
Make daily resignation of thyself
to God; let this be the key of the night
and the key of the morning, -G,snall.
The ship is like to be steered with
best certainty when the pilots eye is to
Heaven and his hand on the wheel
Sanderson.
The Bible is full and complete as
book of direction; human life is full
and complete as field OF exercise. -
Abbott
There are in the United States six
teen ordained women ministers in the
Unitarian church, and in the Univer-
salist there are thirty-six.
"A church insurance company has
been organized in Wisconsin for the
benefit of churches and ministers.
In Australia no newspapers are
published nor railroad trains run on the
Sabbath. Telegraph offices are closed,
and all business is suspended.
The Culinary Academy, or Cooks
Institute, of Paris, has petitioned the
city council to increase its prestige by
naming street Careme, after Antoine
Careme, the chief of Talleyrand.
Last year, taking British Method
ism as whole, 2S, 300 Elapsed Metho-
dists" were returned as having
''ceased;" the previous year the number
was even larger, amounting to 24,147.
Special effort is being made to reclaim
many of these.
The will of the late Thos. II. Skim
ner has been probated. The estate is
valued at SlS7, 600. Among public be-
quests is one of $25, 900 to Parsons col
lege, while Mccormick seminary re-
ceives $4,000, together with a valuable
theological library.
If can stopon heart from breaking
shall not live in vain;
If can ease one life the aching
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
shall not live In vain.
Emily Dickinson.
! The trustees of the university Of
Pennsylvania have decided to appoint
chaplains representing the different de-
nominations TO conduct the morning
service of prayer. DR.. George Dana
Boardman, Baptist, and DIR. Edward I.
Bartlett, of the Episcopal church, have
been appointed to inaugurate the serv-
ice.
DR. Mackay writes from Formosa,
an island on the coast of China, that
there has been an extraordinary turn
ing from idols on the part Of the people
of Kalevan. Nearly FIVE hundred idola-
! tors cleaned their houses of idols in his
presence, and they also gave the mis-
sionary a temple built for idols as a
place of worship. illustrated Christian
Weekly.
The English Congregational Year
Book for 1892, just issued, shows 1852
churches, branch churches and mission
stations in England and Wales, 1871 in
Scotland (including the Evangelical
Union .churches), II in the Channel ISL
ands and 2S in Ireland-besides 95 Evan
gclistic stations. In England and
Wales there are 2,747 ministers, a gain
over last year of Is. OF these, 81 are
without pastoral charge. and there are
324 vacant churches The number of
students for the.ministry is 41z--N. Y.
Independent
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
He Lost Her.

He had asked her TO marry him, and
was waiting impatiently for her an
swer.
"Will you expect me to keep house?'
she finally asked.
mo, indeed, my love; the servants
will attend to all that"
"You won't ask me to make the
bread, or broil beefsteaks?"
Certainly not my angel; we will
have a cook"
'And ] will not be compelled to
pound the washboard?"
''How can you ask such a question:
No, no, no."
''Then cannot marry you. have
been brought up to do all those things,
and could not be happy in a life OF
idleness" al
When he realized what a treasure he
had lost, he went sadly to his luxurious
home, and vowed to remain bachelor
forever.--Detroit Free Press.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
He WAS FoREARMEp.
He Knew His Attractions and How to
Make the Most of Them.

He Knew His Attractions and How to
Make the Most of Them.
A man with an evergreen, two.ounce
vial in his hand went into a druggists
and leaning over the counter, said kin
you make hair dye?"
The druggist said that he could, and
in reply to the most breathless inquiry
of the purchaser said that it would be a
good dye, would cost twenty cents bot
tie full, ana that it would do good job
"Fill her up then, boss" said the man.
''Fill her up. It's more money'n I've
been payin', but darn the expenses to-
day. kin get that bottle full for ten
cents in Augusta, but let her rip"
The druggist proceeded to mix the
beautifer, and the man was all the time
treading around like a boy in copper
toed boots. He was curious looking
man, too. You couldn't tell where he
had lived, but it was not in London or
Paris. His mustache was yellow amid
ship and intensely black on the beam
end. 1t was sort of blazer mustache
Il. e., striped s..
"Hep said he, as he got it "Thats
the stuff. Thunderin' funny, but none
of the folks down our way seem to have
got on to this. When fix up the gals
are just gone on me. They are, honest. "
rs that SOP" said the druggist who
saw the point and encouraged it "Noth-
ing special going on tonight, is there?'
"Wa-a-l, l shouldn't wonder. Gosh,
I'm going to fix up though tonight.
New clothes, new necl1tie-all the fix
ings You can't lose me tonight To
night am on earth. Look at that, u
said he, stroking his mustache, she's 4
regular Jim dandy when she's painted
Say, by CORY. Got any perfumeryt
I'll have ten cents worth. Something
good, Some of your best I'm out for
all I'm worth tonight I'm going over
to have my teeth cleaned and goin' to
get bath at the laundry, and I've had
a haircut and shave"
Nothing special, / hope" said the
| druggist with wink.
"Specialr' said he,. special, well
rather. I've a girl twelve miles down
here and I'm just from the woods. She
hasn't seen me yet and when she does,
why reckon she'll just drop, and when
she drops, reckon I'll be there to catch
her"
And we will bet he was, for this is 9
dead honest fact Lewiston Journal
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
ENoLIsH AS SHE is TALKEp.
Origin of Some of the More Common
Slang Phrases Now In Use.

Origin of Some of the More Common
Slang Phrases Now in Use.
Slang is the coin current of uniformed
minds 1t is the embodiment of cheap
wit stamped with the die of public ap
prevail 1t is ephemeral as the butter.
fy's wing; and yet, while it exists, it
has force and power a terseness, a
brilliancy, a comprehensiveness which
puts ordinary words and their meanings
to shame. And this is true even though
the users know not the origin or exact
meaning of the phrase.
For example, SIN the soup" is pub
lie favorite. Apparently it is nonsen-
sical. When one learns, however, that
''the soup" is the technical name of that
Shiny, oozy, reeking, liquid mud that is
collected from the streets of New York
he can realize that getting into ''the
soup" is a far from pleasant perform
ance. The phrase started not many
Irishman's wit. a''a
A gang of laborers were working
down on Broadway. One of the groups
had collected pile of refuse so miry
and soft that it was with difficulty kept
together. The cart came along and in
getting down the driver slipped and fell
into the middle of the nasty mess.
"Och, faith, Dinnie's in the soupp'
cried one of the men. That was enough.
From the department it spread to the
~ on1 tbar, al nuar tho
country.
Some twenty years ago Louisa M.
| Alcott made one of her characters in
Little Women" exclaim, "Such a good
time, and am in itw Whether the
present term has been taken from that
is doubtful-probably not In the same
way "In it with both feet" is an appar-
ent orphan in the slang world
All the jokes about the wind in con-
| junction with whiskers comes from a
little verse which was not very nice
little verse. Few people heard it, how
ever, and those who did have forgotten
it, and so these allusions have ceased
to be suggestive of anything more than
vulgarity
As to some of the old-time phrases ii
was Gen. Butler who bestowed 'shoo
fly upon America generation ago.
The great public took up the express
sion, and "shoo fly" was used to express
contemptuous disregard of person,
place or thing.
Hardly ever" came from Pinafore
and a great many slang phrases are the
catch lines of topical songs. A slang
dictionary would be a very cumbersome
affair. Besides in many instances il
would trespass on Webster and Worces
ter's domain, for many words once slang
have been incorporated in the Ian
guage.-N. Y. Mail and Express.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
Pretty Picture Gowns.

Very lady-like and handsome gowns
of fine Venetian cloth are worn at af-
ternoon. teas and informal dinners.
These, as rule, are in princess style
with artistic Greek draperies which
give them their title of picture"
dresses. Beautiful India cashmeres
and camers hair fabrics are also made
up in charming style for visiting and
evening concerts. Some have a yoked
blouse belted in Russian form with a
fringed ,ruching and rows of Milan
braid on the skirt. The blouse is plait-
ed to a closely fitted lining. The
sleeves are Queen Anne puff to the
elbow and close below. Gowns in both
these forms appear in all the lovely
art shades now popular. Some of the
princess models are finished with necl,
and sleeve frills of yellow silk lack
N. Y. Post
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

Scene l.. A squalid African hut;
white overseer is compelling naked
kaffir prisoner TO go through grotesque-
ly degrading antics; dirty little white
stone only useful to be strung like an
ornamental bead drops from the poor
black carcass; overseer triumphantly
pounces on the discovery.
Scene . Six thousand miles distant;
London ballroom with all accesso-
ries of civilized splendor; the stone
reappears cut, and in the shape of a
brilliant enhancing the charms of
some young loveliness, and prompting
the instinct which bids us worship
and honor her beauty, as though it
were sometsjug divine. .-Blackwood's
Magazine
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
Something to Eat.

'Can get something to eat here?'
he inquired humbly of the cook at the
kitchen door,.
"Oh. yes, plenty" she said with smil-
ing generosity. You can get chop
at the woodpile, or a loaf out on the
bench in the back yard, or a bite OF
meat from the dog, or roast from the
lady of the house if she sees you, or
some club sauce from the hired man,
or"
"Aw, come off the griddle," he inter
rupted. You're talking through your
bonnet What's the matter with me
gittin an entree at the Jail? Ira, la,
cookie" and he went away.-Detroit
Free Press.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
Emily Dickinson.


--Hicls.-Do you keep your birth
days?" Wicks.-No; but my wife does.
EShe has kept her thirtieth birthday to
smy knowledge for ten years. Boston
Transcript
Tive had good deal of trouble"
said the milkman, confidentially. Yes"
replied the cook, I've noticed that
even your milk has the blues. Wash
ington Star
Wise Love-'Love is blind" but he
can always hear well enough to be able
to leave the parlor as soon as the noise
of heavy foot on the stairs wakes the
echoes of the night IN. Y. Herald
-Bunker-What's your hurry, old
man? Hill suburban resident)-Not a
moment to spare. If / should miss this
train / wouldn't get out home in time
enough to take the train coming back.
-Bunker-Is it true that Hunker has
/ separated from his wife? Hill-Oh,
yes Bunker-Have you any idea what
came between them? Hill under
stand that 1T was homemade shirt -
Clothier and Furnisher
"A little watchfulness over ourselves
will save us great deal of watchful-
ness over others and will permit the
lxindliest of religions to drop her incon'
venient and unseemingly talk of en-
nifty and strife. cuirasses and breast
plates, battles and determinations Tc
produce as much happiness as we can,
and to prevent as much misery, is the
proper aim and end of true morality
and true religion. Only give thing
their right direction; there is room, dt
hut place aud train them we'll --Eri
tetus,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
Poetrv Applied TO Cookery,

Young Housewife-I wish to get a
pair of chickens.
DeaIer-Yes'm- Here are some very
nice ones.
"Have you any game chickens?"
well, ma'am, they don't often kill
game chickens They keep them for
show"
81 should prefer game chickens"
'For what reason. ma'am?"
because game chickens are brave ="
"Well, what of that?"
THE poet says, The bravest are the
kenderest r~-Texas Siftings,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
That Was His Law.

"Can you beat a carpet?" said the
lady of the house to the tramp who
asked for something to eat
,.Iion,t know, num-" he replied,
franlay, 81 never tried. But / guess
mebbs can, fer I've beat most every
thing Else in this town. Detroit Free
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08
WIT AND WISDOM.

consciousness of ignorance is no
small part of knowledge. st Jerome.
The morning is the time when most
young men forget their rising am mbition.
--Binghamton Republican.
1t is a good trial of mans condi-
ton to know what he esteems to be
himself. --Gibbes.
The question of conduct is in every
case question of strength between
tempter and tempted.
Nell-Did you enjoy your sleigh ride?
Belle-Not very much, Charlie can't
drive single handed. Philadelphia
Press.
Most people," said Sydney Smith,
"are willing to play the good samari-
tan, but without the oil and the two.
pence"
The woman who wears diamonds
lavishly always seems vulgar creature
to the woman who hasn't any diamonds
to wear.-Puck. f
Perhaps it is too much to expect
that the man who uses big words
should furnish big ideas along with
them. -Somerville Journal.
The pedigree of honey
Does not concern the bee;
A clover, any time to him,
Is aristocracy. AA
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

-Querist-Why did you borrow that
1--WE" of Smith, the restaurateurP
Audace-To give little lunch at the
Elite Cafe. Kate Fields Washington.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

Mental Subtlety-(0n the steamer
in midocean)-First Old Chappie-"Go-
ing across?" Second o. C.-"Yes. You.
The Jester.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

"what did you think of my book,
Mawson?'
BEST thing you ever did"
'Best? It's the only thing / ever
did"
II know it Don't do it again -
Judge.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

The reason talk is cheap" is be,
cause the supply exceeds the demand
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1892-02-16
-. !. =
THE DEADLY FEVERS.
Three Steamships in Quarantine i'll
New York Harbar.
puts AND CALLS" is GAMBLING.
Estee, of California, interviewed on the
Presidential Outlook.
"PUTs AND CALLS" is GAMBLING.
Estee, Of California, interviewed ON the
MISS ELLA HAGGlN's NuprIALs.
Heavy Rains In CaIifornia---Sflver fen
Jubilant---Morton is Not Can
didate.

NEW York, Feb. 15.-Three trans-At-
lantic steamships have been detained at
the quarantine station all day by order
of the health officers, with view to
making thorough search for possible
contagious diseases among the inmi-
grants on board. These are the City of
Berlin, Beigeland and Russia. The
former arrived Saturday with a number
of Russian Jews among the steerage
passengers. The Belgeland brought 235
and the Russia $40 immigrants, among
whom are people from localities near, if
not contiguous to, the places whence
came the typhus-infected Russian Jews
who have wrought snch CONSERVATION
among the health authorities of this port.
Doctors examind individuals on the City
of Berlin separately, but found no indi-
cations of infection. The immigrants
are now awaiting an order of release. 1t
is possible thatsaH will be sent to Hoff-
man island for twenty days for observa-
ton. The Brazilian mail steamer
Vigilancia arrived today from Rio
sJaneifo and was detained at quarantine,
some Of the crew having been taken of
with yellow fever at Bahia.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1892-02-16
Dealing i'm Futures.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 15.-The Chicago
Board of Trade had hearing before the
house committee on agri culture today on.
the anti-option bill, and through its pres
ident, Charles K. Hamill, opposed the
passage of the bill on the ground it pro-
hibited dealings in futures. "The sys-
tenn of future deliveries, Ha1nill said,
''grew up in response to demand from
theagriculturists for a continuous open
market, which was impossible without
future buying and selling" He believed
the sale of futures was in the interest of
producers. Speculation, in his opinion,
had tendency to sustain values. If a
man was prohibited from buying for
future delivery, a great stimulus to buy
ing was taken away. In answer to a
query, Hamill admitted that sometimes
speculation forced prices down, but he
believed this was generally temporary,
and that in the aggregate it sustained
prices. Puts or calls were not tolerated
By the board; it was purely gambling
transaction, and the board would well
come anything which prohibited it.