The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-02-07

ll-N always pun Oi d itth al bAdu IA sur
prise and say, oh. yes and by their ex-
preston try to show the other passengers
that they forgot il, but we conductors are
Il Sed TO this racket and know that they are
secretly swearing because we had the nerve
to ask for it,
"Our rows and disputes with fractions
passengers on account OF overdue transfer
slips ana OYergTOwn children are something
wonderful a man VIII get transfer,
stend several hours attending to his bust
ness, and then try 10 ride on II. When we
refuse to take II he gets mad, calls the con-
ductOr who gave il TO him an idiot, and
threatens TO report us Tor not seeing the
point.
The counterfejt-con gentry often catch
Us mapping. One day last week l took six
bran-new lead dimes. which had the right
feeling and weight, but only looked queer
in a strong light Quarters and halves are
CT red very often by people who think we
are Just the Snrt Of characters TO palm Of
their bad money on. Whenever we return
a bad piece the male passenger always goes
through the same performance. He usually
says: WHAT! That money bad? ! on
must be OFT. amt VUu Why, that's aS good
as gold Then he Viii hand over n good
coin and say. Maybe that's bad" and
then he VIII bite his counterfeit two or three
times, turn 10 over, aud after holding 1t
away from his eyes for loHg-rauge view,
put II into his pocket for some other victim.
4 woman viii take 10 back without saying
word, and give us a good one.
- mother Tumpus is kicked up now and
then hv ladies who don want to stand IN Il
crowded car They ask Us TO make paSSen-
gers move along, so as 70 make room, ana
If We assure them that 1t is impossible they
give an opinion Of conductors that drives
some of our men to drink These very
ladies'. if
A TIRED MAN
Gives them q seat. will take it without even
o. r1 orr gIt
selfish that they never give a woman a seat.
and others, again. yeutIlate their pOiiteness
SO thoroughly IN a stTeet-CaT that thy have
none left when they get home, So il goes,
and as an old book agent who rides on my
car now and then often says, III 1t amt one
thing, it's another"
The conductors who run to the park have
lively experience with tramps and dope
nends, who 50 cut 20 brace up on sea air
and forget 10 bring any money with them
One OF these fellows VIII board ear at
Stanyan street and SIt down with terrible
dignity Just as far from the door as posi-
bic. When bis fare is as6ed-Uhev all 90
through the same struggle TO find 1.-THE Will
begin to hunt Tor the nickel first through
b pantalOOns pockets, just rs slowly as he
can, then lie Will search through an old
ragged vest or coat that hasn't seen nickel
for years. When he has finished all of his
pockets he Will begin again and look in all
SORTS of impossible places, till out az ply
some generous passenger viii ray the fare
or The conductor puts him or
Ell There are tTO kinds Of DRINKS we have 10
deal With-6Ihting DRINKS and the funny
ones. The fighters are dangerous and We
have 10 watch them closely to prevent their
breaking windows, committing assaults on
Ctler passengers or trying 10 lujure US
bur the funny DRINKS are the most disgust
ing
zone Of these fellows viii get on to a late
.rr q 1rrfr -rr .r. 4 f ,1 ir.. fsHrf
STEERS HIMSELF INTO A SEAT
VIII begin 20 tell stories to the other pas
seugers. and his attempts 10 be funny are
simply awful Sometimes one or these TEL
lows viii Try 10 be polite 70 tie ladies In
tie ear, take his hat cl and smile, and
tLen lie escort viii get mad and we put
hlm off, Others Will whistle or ask silly
questions Of near passengers, OF bIHH beat
(Mlamau. on course some people viii
laugh at these Things just 10 encourage 1t
and then they grow ten times more noisy
than ever.
I'VE setold people who don't know where
they are going and young people who are
uncertain. Ia twelve hours Of contact
with wealth and misery, pHhteness and
ruU-ness, gentlemen ami beats, kind people
and mean people, craukS, t0uglS, showers
Of The queer and queer showers Washers,
old anu unE, musicians lu whistle AID
song. and every sort IF laundering. buster
ing humanity. We get enough Impressions
90 start "a nightmare factory.
'O1, lts Do picnic nay friend, IT'S no picnic,
/ JUS, tell you that aud with his Ura.ular
remark the uy .uutaTy cynC strobe over
to the corner cauuE-hCuSa FIR lis dinner.
W lien the sober journalist had wiped the
tears from bis eyes ana removed every Yrst-e
OF grief from hls sadjeued face. he yeu,ureI
l. 10 tile Tual.c streets once more, f4Ilf con-
WINGED that II any man desires 10 plunge
LeaIloHe from tie l0fT emlueuCe II human