The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1892-06-28
Money and Marriage.

prove to have been more BucceSSlul tuou IL
they had succeeded.
Money and Marriage.
Here Is a question which Is we'll worth
thinking about. and which we must answer
with due care:
I'm case where religion is the Same, and education
and social position equal do you think man with.
out money can ask girl who has money to marry him.
and at tho Same time retain his selfrespectf Do you
think such marriage would turn out happy one'
"Iknow society has ordained that man should DO
able support wife before he takes one but whom
man caches tho ago 49, and has boon unfortunate
in money IN aters should he allow himself to drift into
old age alone :"
Tho most important. nay. tho essential
inducement to marriage. is the attraction
OF love and affection. Without such senti-
mont the law Of natural selection Is vio-
lated: the instinct or impulse which brings
about the mating that. rs a rule and In the
long run. Is most desirable for the race.
is dsregarded and profaned. Hence
throughout the world. and at all times
in tho history OF the world. mankind
has distinguished this sentiment or
passion above all others. and has cele-
brated and idealized it as the most pow
vidual and society. It is the one great
theme Of poetry ancient and modern. and
1t enters into all literature both sacred and
secular as q dominant element. The
Church is figured as the bride Of CHRIST.
AS the view Of the marriage relation is high
or low at different periods or in different
countries or individuals. the concep-
ton Of love varies from gross pas
sion to the purest and most exalted
and romantic sentiment; but always and
everywhere it is recognized as the only true
motive for mating. The human race thus
obeys or rather is controlled by the law OF
It's being and its destiny. 1t is propagated
in accordance with natural selection.
In society. as 1t becomes more civilized
and complex. the operation OF this law Is
disturbed to some degree by artificial in
fuences tending to restrain the natural
instinct. Reason. prudence. ambition.
and considerations OF pccuniary inter-
est may control its manifestation. Both
men and women may marry under such
influences rather than In strict obedience
to the simple law. Yet. after all.
even with them there Is selection
which Is natural according to their
natures as modified and developed under
their conditions. and which Is not undesira-
BILE for tho race. Those are qualities and
attributes oftentlmes worth preservation.
In the cases where they control. and in all
cases. the instances Of mating are few
where there is the positive repulsion which
indicates fragrant violation OF the law. In
France. for example. marriages are ar
ranged by family council: but the expert
ence Of oil French society shows that they
arc not contracted In defiance Of this uni
versal instinct: for French wives and
mothers are conspicuous for their fidelity
and devotion. French novels written by
men Of coarse imaglnations may describe
them differently. but the description Is
false and fictitious. Neither French women.
nor any other women who are not the VIC
tins OF morbid perversion. are the mon
sters they depict.
Never before was love alone. and lovo in
Its higher sense. SO generally controlling
motive In marriage as it Is now. 1t Is be-
coming more and more dominant even in
| polygamous countries. and its growing
| power Is shown in tho revolt Of women
| against barbarous marriage traditions and
| usages: for by the beneticent decree Of ma
! ture. the law OF selection first influences the
woman. The choice rightfully rests with
| those who are to be the mothers OF the race.
Does the woman want the mani That Is
the important question.
| In the case OF our correspondent. then. the
proper course. and the only course. Is for
| him to find out whether the rich girl wants to
marry him. And how can he find that out
except by asking herr What society or
| other people think about the matter Is OF no
Importance. What she thinks aboutit is the
sole question. Is he the man she desires
for her husband and the father Of her chill
| dren? In other words. Is she In love with
him? 1t is for her to determine whether
| she is satisfied with man who has reached
the age OF thirty-fve without getting n
| foothold in the world. 1t Is not the busl-
| ness OF society.
So far as his letter indicates our friends
| character. 1t Is very doubtful whether II
would not be better for herself and for 80.
clety II she decided against him by answer
Ing no to the momentous question when
he musters up the courage to hazard
1t. His repugnance to wooing girl simply
| from mercenary motives purely. Is credit.
able to him. undoubtedly; but his timidity
about undertaking to make love to her and
asking her to marry him because of fear OF
society. suggests weakness OF character
Neither can we have much admiration for a
follow in love. as we assume our friend to be
who Is doubtful whether his marriage with
the girl of his love would turn out happily.
If under the circumstances the girl is will.
ing to become his wife. what more indispu'
table proof Of her responsive love could he
wantr And II they both marry from love. why
1 should not thu marrikRo turn ont hhppv