The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1892-09-07


as we wish to see you on a matter of
business. Yours truly,
RoBBEM, DoTHEMUP& SURETHING.
The foregoing laconic note was re-
ceived through the mail on Monday
by the ADVERTISER reporter, who at
once repaired to the place mentioned
to learn what interest he could have
in common with the now notorious
lottery schemers.
In response to a knock the door
was opened by no less parsonage
than Mr.. Dothemup, the leader of
the gang, who was beaming all over
with property smiles, and with a
CHEEKY "Walk in; How do you do?"
the scribe was conducted to the Office
of the Company, which is situated on
the ground floor of the building
mauka of the makai.
"The Office of the Company is
not as we'll appointed as it might
be, but that will be attended to
soop," said Mr.. Dothemup, who was
busily engaged covering up black
spot on the wall with some Chinese
lottery tickets.
The reporter asked very kindly
after Messrs. Surething and Robbem,
and was informed that they would
appear presently, and in reply to a
further question as to their where
abouts, it was learned that Robbem
was busily engaged making some
loaded dice, and his colleague, Sure
thing, was absent at harness shop,
experimenting the cutting of some
leather straps, to be used in the strap
game.
In the meantime the reporter was
given a seat on a coal oil box, and
was wondering what the fleeing
band could want with him, when Mr.
Dothemup commenced in this wise:
Mr.. Dothemup: "Well, I see you
gave us another rally in this morn
ing's paper, and for the life of me I
cannot understand your motive for
downing us in such cold blooded
manner. But let that pass by. We
have sent for you on q matter of bust
ness which I will presently an
nounce" The reporter eagerly list
ened with vibrating breath with an
accent on the breath when Mr.. Do
themup added: "You seem to be a
bright fellow and appear to know a
thing or two, even if you do use such
execrable English at times, but we
have learned to like you, aye;
might say that we have a growing
affection for you," said the schemer.
Tue reporter after hearing the
foregoing did not know whether to
feel sad or gay but said nothing,
however, and the willy feecer went
on in this way:
"Now l know you are disappointed
with your present position as at its
best, working on a missionary news
paper is a thankless task, and /
speak from experience when / say it,
not from personal experience to be
sure; but l had cousin that used to
carry route on paper, and the
abuse that he received from sub
scribers fastened the poor fellows
DEATH" The reporter was deeply
touched by the recital of the harrow
ing tale but did not murmur.
"Noww exclaimed Mr.. Dothemup
snow for business. I am about to
make proposition to you, a propo-
sition, my boy, that if you accept
it you will have position that
everybody will court your society
and instead of sneaking down town
through back streets in the morning
to escape being slugged as you do
now, you can walk down Fort street
and be called major just like Billy
Cornwell."
Mr.. Dothemup in hurried man
ner put this question: "What is
your present salary?"
The reporter then realized that he
was offered bride, and, like the
average public man, he could not
resist temptation, so he meekly an
swered the question by saying "At
present I receive one hundred dollars
per week with a horrible rebate"
"One hundred dollars a week
why, it is preposterous," declared
MIR. Dothemup. "You are worth
double that sum-" and while he re-
marked it he winked the other eye
and, continuing, said /" if you will
resign your position we will employ
you at a salary of $4,000 a year, and
your work will consist of calling fol-
your salary merely"
The reporter was amazed and then
delighted with the generous offer
made, but said something about the
editor not liking
1.-THE editor be bowed" said Mr.
Dothemup, I've have fixed him W
all right; he is to have position
similar to yours; and, as far as he is
concerned, he is no friend of yours
as he informed US that the only rea
son he ever allowed your nightmares
to appear in print was because be
disliked to hurt your sensitive feel
ings."
The reporter then, more in sorrow
than in anger. accepted the position
offered by the feecers, and informed
them that they would have to ad
vance him some money until the
game opened, for while he could
cut his own hair, he must have
some ducats to pay for eating and g
few other little things like that. His
request was granted, and after bid
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