Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1892-09-29
american Press Associa.

IL ! 2'1S
20, aalLe@asS9
S REFORMED rake makes
N@Ssss/ the best of husbands' is
an old saying, and like
many other time honored assertions, i
simply a venerable fraud; and again
like many other often exposed frauds, ii
is just as effective for mischief today as
when it started out in life, perhaps ii
the days Of Cain. who may have beer
taken i'll hand by some antediluvian en-
thusiast who preferred tile honor of con
verting him to the monotonous conten
plation Of Abel's virtues.
Generations on generations Of women
have tried the experiment and failed il
it, but the generation Of today Is pursu-
ing it with just the same credulous be.
lief in its own powers that has led It'll
predecessors astray, and the result ii
this case will be the same as In that,
just as thrusting the hand into the fire
today burns il quite the same way that
it did when Joan Of Arc persisted in the
flames because she thought she could
reform Charles VII and his France.
One very singular point in this repeti-
ton Of history is that men pick up the
very same blunt old weapon thst their
fathers have thrown aside, allds use il
with exactly the same success asif it
had been forged for their personal use
and under their own patent, while the
woman, accepting both the weapon and
the man at his own valuation, enters
with the ardor of a discoverer On an in
ventor upon the wen worn path of de-
feat, and travels it TO tue very same bit
ter end achieved by thousands Of wonien
before her, and even then il il not often
that she recognizes the fact that she has
only been repeating history, ana has not
the very least little claim to originality
either in the idea Of the campaign or tn
its disaster
The method is 50 trite that almost every
one Of us could repeat the formula; the
man Is usually an attractive one per
sonally, handsome, but with certain
wearied and world worn expression. i
languid voice, a cynical smile, a cour-
seoUs rssfSs18essof n4aEafer suggesting III
once the fact of his being infinitely bored
by his surroundings and his determina-
ton to accept them without complaint.
He often is man of accomplishments
and information, and can make himself
very agreeable if he chooses to so exert
himself, but more often he does not, and
piques his female admirers by gently
evading ali their efforts to show him off.
or as the slangy younger brothers say, to
''trot him out.
Finally, some woman, pluming her
self on her subtle powers Of reading
character, discovers that this charming
but moody Manfred cherishes some
secret wee, which it is her mission to
discover and soothe; III point of fact, it
is very likely that his liver is disordered
by too much tobacco, late hours and
more drinkitite than appetite, and every
one knows that bilious person is gen
orally pensive, gloomy and given to dark
and ominous hints as to the worthless
ness Of life, the small value of the game
as compared with the candle, the folly
of struggling against fate, and various
other saturnine utterances which, al
though as timeworn and threadbarc as
.'when this you see remember me- OF
any other old rhyme, strike the would
be reformer and comforter as something
quite original and significant of a deep
mutual understanding between herself
and the speaker.
The next step is tender pleading upon
the woman's part that the object Of hel
cares should take more care of his
health, limit his smoking and his vigils,
take out Of door exercise and perhaps
some good stirring rides in the early
morning with her. She gently suggests
something about the healthy mind in the
healthy body and intimates that the
blue devils only arise from debilitated
state Of physique
This-leads to further condolences, and
the subject III d half boastful, half de-
spairing tone announces that there il no
prospect Of his ever returning to that
state of innocent well being Of body and
mind to which his gentle friend would
woo MIN, and at about this point of the
game he introduces the phrase:
IF had met you sooner or Be
fore saw You never thought Of all
these things as do now"
These or such like phrases are the
trump cards Of the to-be-reformed
rake's hand, and although they have
been worn out and discarded hundreds,
nay, thousands Of times, they turn up
smiling" today as fresh and powerful as
ever.
"If l have SO much influence, you must
show it by doing as | want You to-"
whispers the reformer, and the subject
either fervently promises that he viii
or works up the situation" by gloomily
asserting that it is too late, there is no
back track for him, that the hopes and
Joys Of earlier days are fed, that he
could not, If he would, return to that
condition Of innocent delight in simple
pleasures wherein his mentoress still
dwells, and sometimes he viii darkly
add he would not if he could, for his
appetite has become vitiated and forever
sophisticated
This latter state Of things is very bad
indeed, and the fair reformer rises to
the occasion with much the same ardor
impeIhng Hercules 10 bis Augean la
hors, but alasl net with the same sue
ecss. except that like Hercules she needs
3 bath to cleanse her from the results Of
her enterprise, There are few proverbs
elnbodying profounder truth than that
you cannot touch pitch without some
of it sticking to your fingers" and the
woman who chooses to descend into the
depths Of an immoral man's experiences
in the quixotic idea Of pulling him out
Of the mud aud up to her own clean
standing ground does itat her own peril.
Naturally she finds that too much
must not be demanded at once, that too
tense line is apt to be broken by big
fish, and that good deal OF latitude at
first conduces to 4 safe landing at last.
Pursuing this system she listens to a
great deal she had better never have
heard; does not reprove protane or inn
moral sentiments except BY look i