Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1892-03-05
W. VA, SATURDAY. MARCH s 1892.
nuPTIAL NOVELTIES.
How the Matrimonial Knot Was Tied BY
Frontier Justice.

How the Matrimonial Knot Was Tied BY
Frontier Justice.
Camping near town in Wyoming
we secured our stock and then went
in. Entering the leading store OF
the town, I introduced myself to Mr..
Stiles, one OF the proprietors, and
the postmaster. Stiles said: "Its
now $50 and at 3 there's wedding
at Jonas Burton's. Old Jonas is a
rough old coon that we elected
justice of the peace about a month
ago, and as this is his first attempt
at marriage / think we will see
some fun; come go with me- We
went into the old squires cabin and
found him poring over large vol
ume of the STATUTES of Wyoming;"
sweating like a horse and looking
terribly anxious. After greeting US
he said:
'Stiles, them galoots that got up
these yer laws hadn't gumption
enough to last 'em over night. I've
run through the blamed books a
half dozen times and can't find a
word about matrimony or how the
Kitchen process is perceeded with.
We just got to put the clamps on
this ere couple, hit or miss, an il
don't yoke 'em up legal I cant help
it.n
Stiles explained to him about how
to proceed, and the old man finally
thought he could worry through in
tolerable shape.
Ere long..the couple appeared, fol-
loves. by crowd of citizens of the
camp. The candidates stood up be-
fore the Squire, who began:
"Feller citizens, this yer man and
this yer woman have appeared be-
fore the court 10 be hit.hed in the
legal bands of wedlock! If any ga
loot in the mob knows of anything
that might block the game if tuck to
a higher court let him now toot his
bazoo or else keep his jaw to himself
now and forevermore. All in favor
Of my proceeding as authorized by
law say Il.
Everybody said a."
Contrary, No. 4"
Nobody said "No."
"The motions carried unanimous
ly, and the court rules that there
haint nothing to prevent the trying
of the case"
"Now," said the Squire, grip
your fms"
The candidates joined hands.
Amos Peabody, do you solemn
ly swaar that yen freeze to Mandy
forever, and pervide for her, and
treat her squar' and white, according
to the rules and regulations set down
to govern SIGH cases in the laws Of
the United States, so help you
| God? 2"
"Yas, sir; / do, SIR"
"That fixes your end of the bust
ness"
Mandy Thomas, do you solemn
ly swaar that you'll hang on to Amos
for all coming time; that you'll nuss
him in sickness, and be sxuar' to
him in wellness; that yen always
be to him a good, true, honest, up
and-up wife, under the penalties pre-
scribed by the laws tor the punish
ment of such offenses? Do you
swaar this, so help you God?"
81 swaar ] wiIl.n
Then, by the power in me vested
as Justice OF the Peace in and for
this preeint, pronounce you, Amos
Peabody, husband, and you, Mandy
Thomas, wife, and legalize We to re-
main SIGH now and forevermcre; an
yell stand committed till the fees
and costs in the case are paid in full
an may God have mercy on your
souls, an bless this union with his
heftiest blessin g."
The fees and costs were adjusted,
and the newly made husband and
wife after receiving the congratula-
tons of the assembly departed for
| their cabin up the creek.