The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-11-18
L,ll have to ro wifhont Il ;,

I'll have to go without it."
There was a ring at the basement
doorbell, and Marie was heard as she
walked through the hall. Then there
was colloquy in which somebody with
an Irish brogue seemed to be figuring.
Uncle and Alan dropped their forks and
waited results. Presently the door was
closed; Marie made a detour through
the kitchen and appeared in the dining
room. "Ein manu." she said.
81 knew that" said uncle. "Who is
he? Vie is ter? What does he wantF'
"Was?" asked Marie.
"Who is he? Is it beggar, a-what's
that word Alan? You know that comic
opera"
''PinaforeT' asked Alan.
"Pinafore? No, what an idea! Der
Bay something Bettelstudent. Ist er
elm bettelstrdent-o bettel, mea9."
s'Ich verstehe NIGHT" said Marie.
''Of course you DON'T" cried uncle.
''You don't understand anything. That
will do. Aus gehen." And uncle waved
his napkin like a woman shooting liens.
Marie fed, while uncle took up the
carving knife and started to carve.
LAS usual" he remarked, "this knife
is too dull to cut custard. She's got u
sharpen it."
"Well, how on earth are you going to
tell herr asked Alan. Il don't know
what sharpen is"
"I'll find it," said his uncle, opening
the dictionary. ''Just ring that bell"
Marie appeared and waited while IN
Gle ran over the leaves, muttering to
himself. ''Ah, here it isl 'Scharfen'
You tell her to 'scharfen' the knife"
whats 'dullY I've got to know that
too"
"'DullY Let's see. It's any one of
half dozen things. Try 'abstumpfen.'
That's the longest of the lot.
knife is 'messer,' said Alan. 81 re-
member that, but I've forgotten whether
it's masculine or feminine. I'll compro-
mise on 'das,' which is neuter Mare,
das messer is-what's that word-ab-
stumpfen-das messer list zu abstump-
fen-abstumpfen. Seer A" hacking at the
roast as he spoke. 'Scharfen du'-I
know that grammar is Off, but starving
men can't talk grammatically-' scharfen
du das-das messer-scharfen-d ver-
stehnp"
Maria looked doubtfully from Allan
to his uncle and then asked:
"Was haben sic gesagtt"
"What did tell your" groaned uncle.
That's just what she says to me, and
talk the very best kind of German to
her. I'll get along with the knife some
way. Aus gehen,' and again Maria was
shooed out of the room.
''Have you stopped drinking claret at
dinner, uncle?' asked Alan, as he
Strengthened out ragged slice of beef
ON his plate.
Il have stopped doing everything l
ever did" said uncle. Il don't dare to
ask for anything, and l can't go down
into the cellar for the claret, because
there is a spring lock on the door, and if
l shut myself in WOs-haben-sie-ge sagt
wouldn't know enough to let me out. l
tried to ask her for some mustard the
other day and she didn't understand.
Then l said it was hot-meaning of
course the stuff l wanted-and she
opened the window. l shook my head
and said hot-Or 'heiZs-Over and Cver
again and pointed to my mouth. She
thought for moment and then disap-
peaTed. l heard her banging away at
the refrigerator, and pretty soon she
came in with bowl of cracked ice. l
tell you, Alan, that girl will drive HE
crazy"
why wouldn't it be q good scheme
for us to teach her English:'
Teach her English! Good heavens,
we can't teach her anything. l shudder
at the thought of speaking to her. Say,
how would you like to have some ice
cream tonight"
'Tiptop. But there isn't any i'll the
house, and we couldn't make her under
stand if we tried to send her out for
some"
Shed probably bring back soap. No,
when we finish this we will inst sneak
cut think we can get out without her
knowing i,-2nd We'll go down 10 Man
haitian Beach and finish our dinner there
with ice cream and coffee"
"But what shall we do about break
fast? We've got to tell her about that"
''Well stay down there all night and
get breakfast there in the morning.
And, by the way, l don't think it hardly
fair that your vacation should be spoiled,
and think you had better go back to
New Jersey tomorrow. I'll get along
some way till your mother returns"
How uncle got along may be under
stood from this extract from the letter
to Alan's mother that he wrote the next
day:
"It's dreadfulIy hot here and Marie
has been looking far from well. So l
have taken the liberty of giving her two
weeks vacation with pay, and she's
gone into the country to visit her married
sister. She understands that she has
not been discharged. I'll sleep at the
house. Everything is going all right"
-ColumhuS Press