The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-02-11
MFIlMsEY IN coNGRss.

A number of the speeches at the Kan
sas Day clubs banquet have been pub
lished. Among the very best of the &C.
casion was Chester /. Longs 'McFiimsey
for Congress, a model in satirical wit:
McFlimsey had nothing to wear y
upon his feet; at least so found an enter
prising newspaper reporter who had the
demands of his profession at heart and
possessed the vivid Imagination peculiar
to his craft. He said he had nothing to
wear on the lower part of himself on &C
count of the high tariff on wool and his
inability to purchase this necessary cover
ing of the human form divine. He also
said in order to make the contrast the
greater, that his opponent wore silk socks
aud was an aristocrat. McFIimsey knew
that if all the aristocrats and n1liiionarles
in his district voted for his opponent and
the rest of the folks voted for him that
McFlimsey would get bis mail after GER
tain date in Washington, while the other
fellow would get his at the old place He
adopted the same tactics before IN
his own county. He was there treated
seriously: they refused to consider him a
joke and he failed ANONYMOUSLY and COM
pletely.
When he ran for congress the situation
was peculiarly favorable 10 McFlimsey
times in the new country. Everybody had
speculated. The man in town had placed
a mortgage on his lot and erected build
ing FOR which there was no tenant except
the real estate agent or loan broker. The
man in the country had plated his farm
into an addition, and instead OF moving to
town the town moved TO him.
At last the discomfort was organized.
The people met in secret meetings at the
school houses and recounted their woes
aud misfortunes to each other They sent
representatives 20 the county meetings,
and the county in turn sent representa-
tives to the state convention. They felt
worse after each meeting They were
more confident than ever that something
was wrong. They were on the verge OF
desperation, aud were against the existing
institutions and the party that happened
10 be in power during the time these mis-
fortunes had befalien them. This was
McFlimsey's opportunity.
In olden times the blind were not select
ed to lead the blind. 1t IS different now.
The farmer should Iegislate for the farmer,
the blacksmith for the blacksmith, the
dish washer for the dish washer and the
hotel porter for the hotel porter, and no
man is capable of legislating for any other
class than that TO which he may happen to
belong--at lie st so says Mcflimsey. Nc
Flimsey's object was to make the poor
feel poorer, the sick sicker Mctlimsey
not wearing anything himself tried to
convince every other man that he was in
the same condition, or should be. lie
looked upon the dark side of every picture,
and tried to persuade other to the same.
To the astonishment of every body, in
Guiding McFlimsey, he was elected. He
did not discard the boat that carried him
over nor kill the goose that laid the golden
egg, but he printed his card-'NcFlimsy
Congressman-No Socks" He travelled in
other states and told what he had done
and how he had done it. He suddenly be-
came great MANN his own estimation.
He travelled in Pullman cars on special
trains through Georgia and preached the
gospel of despair to the poor southerner.
He drank champagne i'll Cleve-
land, aud arising from wine supper with
millionaires and plutocrata, told the labor
ing men Of that city how poor they were
and how he was their savior.
"McFlimsey for congreSS--no socks,''
will soon be the battle cry of the district.
He desires a reelection. VIII be get it?
Will the congressional empire that he now
nisrepresents send this adventurer back
again? 1t depends Is the fitful fever
over? Are the people again prosperous?
Will God again bless them with bountiful
crops?
am q constituent of McFlimsey. We
live in the same town. / have known BIN
for years. l know the people of his dis
trict. | have an abiding confidence in
their honesty of purpose aud in their bust
ness integrity They have made mistakes
before, but they have always rectified
them They know when they have
enough, and 7 believe that on March 4,
1898, McF'limsey will be returned to our
little town, where we will inter him with
appropriate and becoming ceremonies,
erect a monument to commemorate his
notorious achievements AID keep green
his political grave.