The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1892-12-03
loUi1Mo0 tLlIOA OF eAcoN

these that of Duumow Fitch occupies
an honorcd place Toward the end OF
the nineteenth century 1t appears to ap
peal as mucn 20 the national sense OF
humpr a, St did six hundred years ago.
Sons time about then Chaucer made HE
wife of l31tn say in her immortal pro,
logue:
Tho bacon was not set for him trow
That some men have in Essex at Dunmow
Mondays proceedings showed that
che Jest is as well received in the ESSEX
of to-day as ever it was. For months
past the ALLEGATION of the fitch has
been common topic of conversation
among the country folk. At first II
seemed as though there were to be
quite a deluge of applicants. No fewer
than eight couples limited that they
meant to put in a claim for the cele-
brated fitch, but MS the crucial mo-
ment arrived the members were gradu-
ally reduced to two and Monday after
noon the chief event in Dunmow was
the trial of these two claimants to the
celebrated fitch.
II may be as well to say at once that
in the modern contests all the ancient
forms are carefully disregarded. For
example, it is no longer the married
couple who have been married for a
year and day who ask for the fitch;
instead of the presentation being made
by the priory at Little Dupmow or by
the lord OF Dunmow, it is made by a
firm of city bacon curers; and in the
ceremonial that attends the awards
still more important changes have been
made. Long ago aHybo ly might put in
claim. All that was required was
that the husband and vie should de-
clare that
You never ma lie any nuptial transgression,
Since you were marriel man and wife.
Or since the parish clerk sal "Amcn,"
Wished yourselves unmarried again;
Or in tweve month and dav
Repentcd not in thought any way.
For this is our custom at Dunmow well known,
Though the sport be our own, the bacon's your
own.
OF old the claimants had to lneel on
sharp flnts at the priory of Little Dun
NOW and vow that these things were
true. All is changed now. MS the fol-
lowing account will show:
Monday the sport followed u show of
pony-racing and other rural diversions.
1t was under the patronage of Lord and
Lady Brooks and did not begin until
they arrived ON the scene. The tent
where the award took place was then
transformed into an excellent burlesque
of a court of justice.
A lawyers clerk acted as judge; the
local corn merchant, in appropriate
dress, was counsel for the claimants; an
auctioneer conducted the case for the
donors. Six maidens and as many
bachelors formed the jury. The crowds
that thronged the tent proved that the
monumental jest that has amused En-
gland for seven hundred years or more
is still as interesting as ever to the gen.
eral public.
Upon the platform there were two
couples who claimed the fitch, one be-
ing old, the other young; and the begin
ners We're taken first. Certainly the
corn merchant who acted as bIrrister,
made out an excellent case for his
youthful clients. BY examination he
showed that they had known one
another for ten or twelve years before
marriage, and that the husband was fond
of children and not at all quarrelsome.
These two (the man was thirty-siX and
the wife younger) avowed that their
advice to all spinsters and bachelors
would be to get married, and they could
in all honesty take the bacon; at
which there was laugh that sounded
incredulous.
Yet the auctioneer or opposing coun-
sci could not break down the evidence.
For the husband swore that he had no
club and nev r went to the theater
without his wife; that she never grum-
bled when he came home late and never
discovered a will contrary to his. The
wife on her part swore that her hus-
band always got up most cheerfully in
the middle of the night if baby was
crying, and that neither cold dinners
nor washing day reused his temper. No
cross-eXamination was able to shake
this evidence.
Although the counsel for the donors
suggested all kinds of offensA. it was
stoutly denied that any trouble had
arisen in the matrimonial affairs of the
two, and though the jury retired to
consider their verdict the facts were
not to be gainsaid and the fitch was
awarded. Yet it was easy to see that
good-humored cynicism was mingled
with the cheers that greeted the award.
But, indeed, curiously frank out
Spokennesss was the most obvious
characteristic of the audience.
When the herald opened the proceed
ings with his 80, yes! o, yes! All ye
who have complaints approach his lord
ship. 0, yes! o, yes!' there were peals
of laughter. Shouts of Speak up,
GTv'nor let's hear what you're saying,
old mani interrupted the Judges sum
ming up: and when the first fitch was
awarded, For the biggest lie-what
do you think?" was cried by the back
seats
The second applicants were an old
couple whom even the opposing barris-
ter blushed to oppose. United their
ages amounted to one hundred and fifty,
and for twenty-five years the husband
had been in her ma jesty's service. He
was compared to the old Adam of "As
You Like It," and vowed that in his
hottest youth he had never been false
to his Mary Jane. In this case opposi-
tion to the granting of the. bacon was
purely a matter of form, and, indeed,
the discussion served no other purpose,
as far as one could see. except to allow
the introduction of certain very obvious
jokes.
1t goes without saying that both OF