The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1892-01-23
LONDON THEATER TOUTS.

How Patrons Are Made Miserable by
Cloak, Programme and Other Fiends.
You have scarcely put your nose in
side theatei before you are seized upon
and called to stand and deliver. First it
Is your coat. Men and women rush after
you and poster you for your coat. They
would rejoice if all were foolish enough
to yield to their importunate demands,
and risk colds, coughs, influenza and
bronchitis for the rest of their natural
life. Why, it is madness to venture into
the stalls without a draft protector.
Modern theaters are so constructed that
they are mere draft traps
If you are seated near the door you risk
stiff neck. You must wrap your cloak
around you and be careful to protect
your legs from the blasts of wind that
pour in from every crack and canny. If
you are in the center of the stalls, at
many theaters directly the curtain is
raised tornado Of wind rushes across
the footlights and catches you by the
throat l often think that women ere
mad who venture into theaters with low
dresses in winter time 1t is bad enough
for men.
And yet these attendants get quite Of
Tended if we do not leave behind us the
only garments that will protect US from
sudden death. Remember that no one
is free from the theater highwav1nen
Even those who go in with orders cannot
get out Of the cloakroom or programme
tax. AT last they must pay. l renem-
Der once going into a theatcr With a
friend who had keen sense of the lt1-
dlcrOus. / think it must have been ".
$ Gilbert 1t was morning perform
ance and he was attacked in the usual
way:
Coat, sir
What 90 you want with IT,
''To take If Of"
Very VII" he r11rmr~ed innocentlv. |
Tn Ai-2wavman prepared 10 strip Of
MS coat. ana behold, nv friend. WIN
had prepared II the dodge. walk! |
away il lis shirt sleeves. lie had o,ly
put q. his Overco at, with nothing III
le1neata it
Cnconce~ned b. was preparing 4 on |
Ter The stalls coatlass. when the attend |
AIT rushed after him.
Tie stalls Ike that"
why nOtT he asked with bland |
and innocent air. "You asked for nv !
coat You have got it What more can |
you WANT"
The coat and cloak fen1s having been |
disposed Of. YOU encounter the SECOND !
rank Of touts Now it is a programme
for which YOU must pay. They inso-
lently bar your passage. They dun vou
and din into your ears. Programme. |
sir!' 1t is not a civil request to know
if You would like a programme or not,
but demand with an implied threat
The implication is that you are stingy
person. who has no right to ne seen in
the stalls
But this is not all. Having gone
through the first easy stages of theatrical |
purgatory, you are worried all the even
ing with ice sellers and chocolate vend-
ors and stale cake providers. If you are
in the stalls safely wrapped up from
the drafts, these touts edge in between
the very narrow and uncomfortable
stalls and generally make hay. The |
tread on your toes. they disturb the lit
tie nest you have made. they make havoc
with the ladies back hair. pulling out
hairpins aud crushing tie r.
suit Of the maids handiwcrk The |
don't care if they dig YOU il the ~.
with an ice tray or powder yor with II,
refuse of sponge cake o. bury ycl urdr~
chocolate loxcS.
Their duty Is TO make as much money
as possible for the spccuia'lng contract
tor L Il not their fault poor things
They aQ get q commission on their
wars AMI it is their duty - tout.
Clement Scoc- IL London Graphic.