New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1892-10-12
THE MISOGYNIST.

Donald Calvin was a city-bred bach
eior who believed that men should
commune with nature and never with
women. He arrived at his misogyny
by q process of reasoning and not by
q process OF experience. He had no
canker growing at his heart nourished
by the memory of q faithless love
Yet he hated women. He hated them,
however, not in the savage spirit. He
was still polite and courteous to par
ocular representative of the fair sex,
yet he formed no acquaintance with
any of them that went beyond the
most frigid and distant relation pos
sible. Hence at the age OF 80 Mr.. Cal
win was the most unpopular man in
his circle OF society.
AS an artist of considerable ability
in his especial line of work he was
Kept busy from Monday morning at
8 o'clock until Saturday noon, at
which hour ne regularly left his work,
when the weather was fine, and repair
ed to the river bank. He owned a
small skif and an outfit for hunting
and fishing that was the finest in the
state, and with this equipment he left
the city wharf and rowed steadily I'M
It'll to some spot a number of miles up
the river than any other sportsman
with similar means OF travel ever
Journeyed, and here he hunted and
fished until Sunday afternoon, when
he gathered his spoils and dropped
down the river back to town.
One afternoon as he started out he
heard great medley Of laughter and
shouts coming from the crowded decks
ofasteamer. Hundreds of children were
racing hither and thither in the fran
sic, spontaneous glee of childhood.
They climbed up the stanchions, slid
down the cables, leaped from deck to
deck, and comported themselves gen.
orally like an irrepressible mob of
brownies
{ @They will not be so gay twenty
years hence" muttered the bachelor
as he pulled out from his moorings
''''FBut after all extreme youth is one
~aof the blessed things of this world
Men who attend a. Sunday-school pic
mic and look about them in the right
x.,y,,y;t will Io+4 or e., L@1
year OF sermons would make them"
He had been rowing a half-hour or
more when the steamer with it's mer-
ny burden came putting sgayly up the
river. He pulled lazily until it was
abreast Of him, waiting for it to get
by and nodding pleasantly in return
to the shouts the children sent to the
SOLITARY boatman across the water.
AT one point on the steamers upper
deck the demonstrations were widest
and he directed his eyes thither as he
dipped his oars into the pillows
thrown up by the wheel.
In the midst of the group standing
on q chair as she waved her dainty
handkerchief was a girl of 20, clad in
white, her yellow hair floating away
from her fair, fresh face and losing
itself in the expanse of huge picnic
hat of blue straw. She took it from
her head at length and shook it at
him, initiating the example of the
children around her. But to her dis
anay the wind suddenly jerked it from
her grasp and it went sailing out over
the river like some huge blue swallow.
He was compelled to laugh at her
pretty feminine anger as she stamped
der foot and beckoned the hat to re-
turn. Impelled by an impulse that
was too inconsistent with his profes-
sions to be properly analysed, he
pulled across the stream to where the
hat fioated on the waves and took it
aboard. Then turning the nose of his
boat upstream he resumed his lab
orious Journey. And as he did SO Mr..
Calvin ruminated: "Women are a
distraction and an abomination to
man; they are the cause OF nine-tenths
OF his troubles; theys produce dissen.
sions and strife where peace and
equanimity before were found; they
But Mr.. Calvin had a category Of
their demoniac attributes that was
as lengthy as it was cynical. Suffice
to say that in every one of them his
belief was firm and unmistakable
And yet he toiled up the muddy cur
rent of the Ohio with a blue chip hat
staring him in the face from the sterr
of his boat. 81 will return to the
city as usual Sunday afternoon anc
advertise in the papers, he said.
But when he came in sight of The
steamer where it lay moored at tn,
foot of a wooded grove, OF which TIL,
swarming little ones had taken pos
session, Mr.. Calvin turned his boa1
toward the shore and was shortl,
safterward ascending the bank swing
ing the hat at his side. He had no
got we'll within the grove when {
CHEEKY voice exclaimed;
''What, Calvin! you at a picnic?"
The solemn bachelor turned to fine
himself face to face with an intimat
friend, if he could be said to posses
an intimate friend.
"I'm a mere interloper," he said
smilingly. aThis hat fell into tn
river as was coming ah, there sh