The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-08-31
COCKERILL'S LETTER.
Some Of the Humor Of Old Arte-
mus Ward Recalled
Electrical GangIions of the Giobe-A Visit
to the Busiest Telegraph Center In
the Uniyerse-Normile and
IngersoI1.
COPYRIGHT. 1892.

Some of the most interesting charac-
tiers in New York sedulously keep away
from writers for the public prints, and
pride themselves upon preserving their
privacy. An old leather merchant died
down in the swamp the other day and
left an estate of 10000, 0G0, which In
teresting fact was duly mentioned In the
newspapers, with expressions of sur
prise, since, had the old man been
known in his lifetime to possess so
much of the one thing needful, he could
not have gone to lunch without having
somebody to take note of 1t. AS 1t was
nobody had ever heard of him outside
of his own chosen circle OF friends and
relatives. And very pleasant sort OF
life l should say that would be. too. L
met ARENAS Ward on the street day
or two ago. What, you will all say,
"Artemus Ward died a quarter of cen
fury agol'' So did the one; but the very
interesting New Yorker of whom | am
speaking spells his first name with the
difference of one letter, and is an en-
thusiastic admirer of his predecessor in
name and fame. ARENAS Ward devotes
himself to spreading the fame OF sapo-
Ito, and he seems to me to have spread
it very thick.
He is the manager of one of the larg-
est manufacturing establishments in
the world, a serious looking, bearded,
brown-eyed business man OF sturdy
figure and quiet, methodical. Millions
of dollars filter through his fingers
every month, and lifetime of service
has secured and retained for him the
respect and gratitude OF his employers.
In return for liberal salary his active
life is entirely devoted to their inter
ests, and he is scarcely ever seen ex-
cept in his Office or his home, or on the
way between. Yet his is a quaint per-
sonality, richly worth character
study, and of vast Importance when one
considers the enormity of the transac-
tons with which his personality is
blended. He is a quiet jester, too, pre-
Stunning in no way on the similarity of
his name to that of the great Ward,
which he justly observes is not his
fault. As q student of ArtemuS Wards
works and witticisms, ARENAS Ward
is especially interesting. 'Artemus
Ward was, of course, Charles Farrar
Browne, who was born in Waterford,
England, March 6, 1867. Everybody
who has ever seen BARLEY Campbell,
whose tall. lank figure, long nose and
rather saturnine expression made him a
parsonage on Broadway from the time
he first settled in New York, may form
an excellent idea of what Artcmus
Ward looked like ir the flesh, except
that Ward had much darker and bush
Ter hair, curling in ringlets at the ends,
and a heavier and more poetical mus
tache, blending, indeed, in some inter
esting way, and to a striking degree, the
physiognomy of BARLEY Campbell with
that of Edgar Allan Poe.
1t has always been mystery what
became of Artemus Wards property.
Jim Fisk's Erie stock vanished when he
died, at least no trace of it ever came TO
his executors, and the large amount of
personal property which Artemus Ward
must have been possessed of very short
ly before his death seemed almost as
mysteriously to vanish. His last season
in London. just before his death, had
Melted him for six weeks at least $500 a
night A friend saw on his bedroom
table pile of bills amounting to S12,-
900 not long before his demise. He had
valuable diamonds and very heavy
gold watch and chain. The little old
homestead just above New York city at
Yonkers on the Hudson he had cleared
of debt within short time, and had
willed it to his mother. But that was
all she ever received from his estate,
nor has there ever been any satiSfac-
tory explanation of the loss. sub
scription was taken mp after his
death to put a monument over his
last resting place. The enormous sum
of $50 was raised, and as the fund re
NAMED at this figure for several years,
without showing signs of growth, that
amount was finally turned over to his
mother, poor old woman, who pur-
chased with it the stone which now
stands upon his grave. Every now and
then one hears of some new witticism
said to be the offspring of his fertile
brain | do not know whether the
newspaper public remembers that he
| once said this of the discovery of Amer
! lea:
1T cost Columbus 5000 to fit out
his explorin expedition If he had been
| a sensible man, he'd have put the
money in boss railroad or gas COM
pany, and left this magnificent CONT
| nent to intelligent savages, who, when
they got hold of a good thing, knew
/ enough to keep il. Chris meant
well. but he put his foot in it when he
sailed for America"
| I think the funniest thing he ever
| did, however, was his lecture called:
| among the Mormons. He used a
panorama to iliustrats it, and there
was more genuine fun in a glance at
/ that panorama than in whole cart
! load of contemporary humor. | can
! hear him now, as he took up his print
| ed programme one night in Hamilton,
! o.. and described Virginia City. "A
wild place. Game abundant, principal
/ IL faro and bluff. Shooting in conse-
quence. Every man carries revolver,
and every other man two. Silver mines
+ The treasury carefully guarded, each
proprietor keeping a silver watch
The Great Desert-a dreary waste OF
sand-a perfectful shameful waste, in
! fact They ought 70 save it,
/ ONE or A UNIQUE AssEMBLAsE
/ 1t was my pleasure to occupy seat a
few evenings ago at the dinner given al
! the Hollywood hotel, Long Branch by
/ Mr. William Easton. II was, | may