davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
THE BABY IN POLITICS.

1t appears that the baby is intended
to cut u considerable figure in Ameri
can politics.
We do not refer to the big lubberly
full grown babies who ought to be men,
that seek all kinds of offices because they
have nothing else to do, and think that
they ought to be supported by public par
from the taxpayers crib, but to such
terrible infants as baby Mckee who has
been a constant source of comment dur.
ing the Harrison administration, and
baby Ruth who will be equally notable
in the coming admin istration of MI
Cleveland.
The Americans are not a humorous
people. They are lively and naturally
full of gay spirits, but while they have d
keen sense of the ridiculous and the
grotesque, they are decidedly not hum
orous. The truth is that life in Ameri-
can communities is too matter of fact to
give rise to a truly humorous mode of
thought, and the consequence is that in
the vain struggle for diversion, we amuse
ourselves with trifles and try to make
ourselves think that it is awfully funny
that the presidents son in-law has a boy
baby living in the White house. or that
the president to be will have a girl baby
living there.
a great many columns of matter are
written every day about any man who
occupies the post of chief executive OF
this nation. 1t is necessarily the case,
and will always be so, but there is prob
ably no exaggeration in saying that the
name of baby Mckee has been men
toned in the press us often us that of
President Harrison in the last four years.
and that the name of baby Ruth will be
mentioned as often as that of President
Cleveland's in the next four years. That
such a thing is possible, is proof positive
that the American people have very lit
tie to amuse them, and that they are
con stantly looking out or.something to
their minds from the dead level of
American thought. Were it not for our
periodical political contests. and the
babies in politics we should have very
little indeed to divert us at all.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
BITS OF BORROW WIT.

"Iou'rethe sleepiest looking individual
! ever saw" said Dick to the seedy man
on the corner. "Ies; even my coat
he.
lie bought her a big chrysanthcmum,
On which to write a ballad.
And when the time for food had come,
He ate it in a salad.
Wife-Now that Mr.. Wigeon, we met
last winter is going to be here to din
ner, is he fond of wild game, do you
know!
Husband-Great Scott! yes; he broke
himself fiat on a pair of duces last night.
81 always knew it was unlucky to sit
down to dinner with thirteen at the
table" remarked Chumley, as the other
twelve filed out and left him to pay the
bill.
Election day is over
And bets and votes say that
The democrats have got ahead,
And many OF them a hat.
Jimmie-It's a good thing you didn't
go out last night. | got my: overcoat
soaking wet.
Choilie-That's why l didn't go. I've
got my overcoat soaking dry.
A Warning to Talking Girls.-"Did
you propose to Miss Tawker last night
as you intended?" mo; l couldn't get
a chance to say a word. I've given up
all hope Of being able to propose to her.
l think ] shall try Miss Mumm after
this"
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

that progress and reform will character
ize his administration from first to last
The Benton River Press, which is 9
rabbi republican sheet whose policy il
dictated by Commodore Power, freely
admits that Mr.. Cleveland's standing
even among Republicans is rs good as
that of Mr.. Harrison. In speaking OF
the results of the election that paper
says:
The country has once honored both
these gentlenen by giving them a term
in the white house. and it believes that
they are both men of exceptional ca
pacity. character, and patriotic devotion.
1t prefers to hear them both we'll spoken
of, and to have each regarded by COM
mon consent as a fit representative of
n great national party. Not the
least reason, perhaps, why the campaign
has been SO comparatively devoid of en-
cltement is the fact that Mr.. Cleveland
and Mr.. Harrison are regarded by the
community at large as alike in being
men of normal and conservative ten
dencies-''safe" men-and also as alike
in possessing strong individual purpose
and tenacity of will.
Admitting that both men are equally
safe and conservative it may be said
without egotism, now that the people
have chosen, that there was no such
prospect of reform and of a progressive
administration to be expected from MI.
Harrison as all the country believes will
result from the election Of Mr.. Cleve-
land.
The second term idea does not enter
into the present arrangement at all. Mr..
Cleveland will go into the white house
on March next TO work four years for the
government. He knows beforehand that
IA second term is not to be thought of.
In the first place it would be IA third
term for him, and in the second place the
people are determined to restrict their
presidents to one term. The president,
therefore, will be possessed with a single
idea. to achieve every possible advantage
for the republic, and to bring about. as
far as circumstances will permit. the re-
of the civil service and the tariff,
which he is pledged to make. The sim
pie fact that he is zee from the anxiety
and longing for a reelection releases him
from all ties and obligations to the ma
politicians and leaves his mind
strong and active for the great work
which lies before him.
The administration will start out.
therefore. under circumstances more
favorable to the purposes of the new
president than any which has preceded
It. and the confidence shown by the
in its splendid Endorsement of
Mr.. Cleveland is certain to be justified
by the results of the next four years.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

OF such human flends as Teach, Incbhl
and many others.
The era OF cruelty and crime yr..
such proportions that the civilized ne',
Of Europe were forced to join hand
methods of suppression, but their am;,
this respect was not for long. MAJ n
the famous Captain Kidd sailed AVA,
port to murder and rob under proto.,
Of official documents called @lettas'
marque, which gave them permissios
harry the commerce of ''enemies NJ
country" and SO in one form and anal
piracy hOlrished on the Atlantic coas,'
America and in the Gulf of Mexico -.
the end of the turmoil and confusion ~
revolutionary war. Then it was tbrot.|
for a time, but not for long, for the suc'
of the United States in securing their ~
dom inspired a rcstlessness amonc !
colonies Of Spain. in Mexico and So'1
America. '"|
They revOlted, and in order to seem. !
aid of desperate adventures issued
them letters of marque, rs had been Il
custom in the old days. To this i, duo n
career and notOriety of the last r,n'
pirate known to history-Jeau .Jacn'
Laftte-who had his headquarters on NJ
Island of B%arataria, whose ships disnl,. y
the yellow flag of the republic of Carss'l
and whose exploits made him and biv y
lowers the terrors of the Spanish mail
How he patched up u peace with the s,a
of Louisiana by fighting under Jackson J
the battle of New Orleans, and how h.
tablished the city of Galveston, are mari ]
OF history, but what vas his end and WIN,
he died are not known.
so much for piracy as q was when itv
piracy. As before remarked, piracy n, :
day is simply smuggling.
Still the style ut present in vogue D,oI
ably pays better and involves less bIoO1
shed and wrenches of the conscience HI
said of William Whalley, one of the M,
interested" in the Halcyon, that he h.
grown wealthy beyond the dreams !
avarice. He was in the employ of the mn
collector at San Francisco, and gained
high reputation for honesty and abilit,
lie learned all the ms and outs of III
opium traffic. and when he left the %,
ernment's service he utilized his inform,
ton. lie put up" the money TO purcba,
the Halcyon. After that she began h.
mysterious voyages in search of ducks
and lately Mr.. Whalley, whose presence
badly desired at San Francisco by the Al
thOrities. established his residence at HON
lulu,
NO man on the Sandwich islands, sa,
n recent tourist, sis a more notable fipur
Dressed in spotless white duck, his swsrtb
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
A MUCH needed reform is thus sug-
ctel Inv tbo Chicaoo Infer Draun.

A MUCH needed reform is thus suy-
gested by the Chicago Inter Ocean:
One of these days the people of the
United States will arise and demand a
change of time in two important events.
They are to change the month of cleo
tons from November to October and the
Inauguration from March TO April or
May. AS it is now, both periods are bad.
la half a dozen states people waded
through s~now-drlfts aud snow
storms to vote. When the Inaugural
ton ceremonies take place-lt is a
rare thing to strike d day of comfort in
the open air-there are m~ultitudes of
instances of sickness and death from ex-
posture of delicate people upon such
occasions who feel constrained to take a
part in such duties. There is not IA
particle of Common sense in naming
November for Il presidential election or
March for the Inauguration, and our
Lawmakers should proceed to arrange
for a change.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

Is Illinois it is clear that the vice pres
idential candidate, Adlai Stevenson, was
a tower Of strength to the national tick
ct. He to the aid Of his chief
with a splendid majority, in striking con-
trast to the vice presidential nominee on
the other side, who undoubtedly weak
ened the ticket in New York. Rugged
honesty wins in there times, and it is
time for the plutocrats to realize it.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
TIL EIH LYING ISLANDERS.

so the Helena journal is dead" re
marked d good citizen yesterday. well
he unused. 1.-The only wonder is that such
IA rotten outfit lived so long
The TRIBUNE gloats over no mans
misfortune, but it is the common opinion
in this state that there never was any
thing decent about the princes personal
organ. Whenever any Of his employees
attempted to run it on decent principles
they were made to feel that that was not
what he wanted. IN the campaign just
closed it has been especially venomous
and malignant, and it's course is thus
pointedly summoned up by the Missoula
Democrat:
The Helena journal and the Inter
Mountain have conducted a campaign of
mud. SANDER and stalwart lies. Not
being able to say n single word
against Mr.. Collins public record made
as a public officer they manufactured
and published a series of lies concern
ing his business transactions with the in
tent to hold him up to the contempt and
ridicule of the public. 1t was dastardly
journalism. They would doubtless have
invaded the sanctity of his home and
hunted for skeletons in closets had there
been the least hope Of finding one, but
they stopped at the door of his family
residence. contenting themselves with
leaving their filth upon his steps to har-
row the feelings Of "a most estimabIe
family, IF such journalism win in this
campaign, republicans must stand from
under in the next one.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
THE HALCYON.

tureIs of France and England. Not con
tent with lying in wait on the high seas
for the treasure ships homeward bound
with tribute to his Catholic majesty Of
Spain, these unappeaseable human vui-
lures stormed cities. sacked cathedrals and
left behind them when they departed desc
Iation and death, but no gold-that they
carried away. Then flourishei such men
rs Walker, who for n time almost ruled
the Caribbean sea-, who for his so called
''services" was knighted by King Charles,
aud who died n pauper in n felon's cell.
Along the Spanish main also few the flags
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

Ross Ward, "A railroad man, is reported
to have toboggancd down Pixies peak on
a board three feet long and * feet VIDE
to the bottom of which was nailed "A cral
to serve as "a keel. The distance covered
was nine miles, with a descent of 5000 feet
and the time made was TX minutes.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

The comic editor of the Benton River
Press says he will o take to the woods
and live on jack rabbits until the nation
passes once more from the control OF the
democracy. lie will probably turn into
a rabbit himself by that time.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

CASCADE did herself proud in rolling
up a handsome majority for Tim Collins
despite the republican bossism which
seems to control the county root and
branch. The TRIBUNE was certain
that the people would not neglect their
duty in this matter.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
Blinded bX Electricity.

One half Os the West Point cadets are
obliged to wear glasses, it is said. TINS
state of affairs is largely due to the fac
that the barracks are lighted by electricity
instead of gas. The board of visitors asks
congress to appropriate $4,000 to remedy
his pvil
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

NEITHER Carter nor Mckinley will
be able to find a hay scales large enough
to weigh the blame and opprotrium that
will be heaped upon them by the disap-
pointed politicians. Some c~haritably
disposed person should wire Mr.. Carter
a little rest.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

Gainesville, Fla, boasts of n fully deytl
Oped ear of corn which contains 80 grains
This car of corn has, it is said, four smaller
ears attached of new growth, which con.
tain 400 grains, making in all n total oil
l,1S0 vrains.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

ALREADY the storm is beating on poor
Mckinley's head. The president and
all the other republican leaders blame
poor Bills little bill for the result but
the boodlers paid the bill and the voters
did the rest.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

1t has been found that bicyclists who ride
to excess are afflicted with II catarrhal
laryngitis, Mouth breathing and the ra'
pidity and pressure with which large guam
titles of air are forced into the larynX are
said to he the cause.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

PRESIDENT HARRISON should not he
ungratefui to our Tom for the latter
was too absorbed with the Doodle that
poured into headquarters to see the
avalanche coming.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

Now the Chicago Inter Ocean objects
to having the late landslide called a Wa
terloo. Really, "a slump is "A better
name for it.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

The %sympathies of all newspaper men
are with the people because they are the
hardest kind of w%orkingmen themselves.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
a Rear Who Gurrotcd,

A footpad was recently captured in a
Hungarian town, and with him a bear
that he had tanned and taught to grapple
with pedestrians whom he desired to rob
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

The suits Of ladies' Jersey Ribbed
Natural Wool Underwear at S1.5O are
going like hot cakes. Be in time. Joe
Conrad.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

PoST-ELECTION blues are Just now
much in vogue. Cheer up, boys, and
next time don't be so sure
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

A parcel Of dry goods at west end o
wagon bridge. Can be recovered by call
ing on Mr.. Higgins at the race track.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
Randall T. Prior.

Have removed their Land and Alb
stract office to First National bank build
ing on first floor, Third street entran ce
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

Desirable rooms in Exchange build
ing, furnished or unfurnished.
JNo. p. DYAs.
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18
THE PIRATES OF TODAY
They Do Not Resemble the Old
Time Variety.
THEY GET RICH JUST THE SAME,

Smuggling Has Superseded the Murder
Of Crews. the laundering Of Vessels and
the Sacking of TOwns-A Modern Pirate
Who Is y HOwling Swell.
copyright, 1872, by American Press Associa-
finn
The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-11-18

School Books and School Supplies
mt Ca.kins Il Dibble's Bookstore.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

ever thing in its way until
reached the bottom of the hill. L.
commenced to stralghten ont and
Bah lLt its IiwArds h.ye aa0Lnos
hot. This time it commenced to
try 20 Won't Bill up, Tut lie held
on and as soon AS the snake COM
menced to quiet down from the
effects OF the last shot be let OF the
rest Of tho loads in his revolver as
fast rs he conld fire them. That
snake must have thought h, had
swallowed Hadcs. Gel emma and an
iron furnace all mt once. lilo tore
and snortel ana hissel and beat
himself against the grou d and
trees until lie bad cleared out
shout an acre of virgin woods and
commenced to heaye and sigh Ike
u love sick maiden. ] irectly he
got sill except that quivsr run
through hm occasionally, and hen
his jaws dropped together ANA Bill
was in total darkness. lie knew
ihe snake WAS done Tor and that lie
would soon smother to death i'm it.
so I've took out his hunting knife
and cnt his way out"
-" " hat will you have Stranger"
inquired an advance agent Tor
show.
[" Guess I'd take rcd liquor,
said the man from Braxton.
And he did. Ciurks6urg Necs.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

Consult DR.. A. l.. Wagner. late
OF Gny's Hospital. London. Enc.
land. for Surgical diseases of women
Eye and Ear, and GENERAL Sur.
gerry A@mOrrhoids Of Piles cured
W n N cutting. rheumatism
Neuralgia and all Nervous Diseases
cured IN short time with Electric
baths: Rooms and board to be had
cheaply. Charges reasonable. Call
10 any part Of the county.
Office EGLoN, Preston County.
w. Va. NY
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
TEN DAYS IN WASHINGTON.
Third Popular Excursion 10 the
National Capital via. ID. *
o.. r.

The third popular excursion to
Washington, via b. & o. r. r..
from Pittsburgh, Wheeling, Par.
kersburg, Lexington, and inferno.
date stations to Washington juno.
ton, Nd, is announced FOR Thurs
day. February 18th. The popular.
lty OF these winter trips to the
National Capital via B. & o. is due
to the exceedingly low rates, the
excellence Of the train service. with
Pullman accommodations, and to
the fact that the Is. g. o. is the
shortest route.
The journey is delightful as well
as instructive, while in Washington
are more interesting sights than in
any other American city. The
museums. the art galleries, the
White House. the public buildings
to all of which admission is free
arc attractions at all times appre.
Gated.
Tickets from Pittsburgh, Wheel
ing. and ,diate points t,
Martinsbnrg are valid to Baltimore
and as they are good for ten DAYS
ample time 10 afforded for side trips
t. Mt. Vernon, Old Point Comfort
and other adjacent points.
For time Of trains and rates Of
fare consult appended table. Fcl
Par or or Sleeping Car accommo
dations and descriptive pamphlet,
address nearest b. & O. agent.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

When travelling Between Pittsburgh, Wheeling
or Morgnntown, ur FairInunt and Clark shurg .
weston, Buckhahncn. Parhersburg or Charles
ton, the Me nuncah Route" offers the shortest
ara quickest lire, Close connections made
at faiImont for a points North and West and
NJ Clarksfurg with p. & O. pnd W va a r. n
RS for all Tuints Ea,t. South and West Asa
Tor through to iets via the Mon ongah Route -
HUGH c. BowLEs, CenI supt.,
MoxoNeAH. w VA.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

Speaker Crisp is nov able to pre-.
side over the House and has been
~ the Chair the past week, although
weak yet from his recent severe Nh.
ness but the weakness is not in III.
head and 1t is acknowledged on ali
sides that he IS a very able and conr.
ieous presiding officer and no, tia
bully that big Tom Reed was.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
We have all kinds ~ non .

We have all kinds Of pens, pen.
ciIs, penholders, tablets. paner
knives dominoes, PLAYING cards.
visiting cards, wedding and invita-.
ton cards, business cards, diarys
rules, shawl-straps, bill-fles, time
books, ink, day books, journals.
gates muscilage and many other
things. ~
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
English Spavin Liniment romnro

English Spawn Eminent remove
all Hard, Soft or CaIloused r,nnrs
and biemishes from horses. Blood
Spawn, Curbs, sweeney. Ring bone.
oiiiles. Sprains. ali swollen Tbroafa
Coughs &C. Save $50 By uso OF
one bottle. Warranted The most
wonderful Blemish Cure ever known
Sold by DR.. Z. X. Frey, Druggist
eIra AIta' 6-14-91-1yr
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

LARG EST. FINEST, BEST LIGHTED AND MOST COMPLETE
BUSINESSsCoLLEGE IN The STATE OF ONO.
The surprising growth OF School compelled larger
nd mrs apartments Hereafter BUSINESS
MENr will be conducted he educational pur
poses in the State of Ohio
We have the best corps Teachers Ct any School in
Amarica-Al Experts in thsir Linz
BOOK KEEPING
Taught by j. HARRY WATERS, Expert Accountant
'ENMANSuIP--
Taught by the boat P,nmen in Tho States EXCEPT
money. r. DIcXEasoy all MICHAEL ,2oLo These artists
execute tho best style and
fIORIIIAND--
Taught BIZ LOUIS TnAUB. Expert a court Reporter
Andrew j. Graham anh1r Of !hns StllllrI Phonog
SAYS Il heartily nenl NJ Louis Traub competent
teacher and lorougl instructor"
TESTIMONIALS RssoLUrIoxs MaAos OK rIFrcArE5 Dp1oYAs
positions.
Tuition be to IS p week Diplopas furnish
Tree to graduates. 5000 in GOLD given in prizes.
~ Cor. Ninth and Walnut 81 reefs, Cincinna>i O.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

Correspondingly low rates fro M
other stations.
Pullman Sleeping or Parlor Ca,
all OF above trains.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
OUR CbUB3ITG LIST.

The year 1892 will be great yea
III the history of this country AID
every family should have at leasr
me of the leading papers of tn,
country in addition to their count,
paper. We have arranged with tn
following pnpcrs, both Democratic
and Republican, so as to acc ommo.
date any of our readers
The ARGUS one wear and
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

ForMa1ar1a, Liver Trou-
ole, Or Jnd5 restfon, uss
BhOdh s IkON BITfEEg
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

We have just received an elegant
me OF new Stationery and for an
KIND of blank paper. or envelopes
cards, tags. labels. either blank q,
printed, ONE to this Office and w,
en- surely please you. IT,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
Lsok Here.

Fl. d. Carroll, Kingvood. W
Va, has for sale Pure Bred Poland
Chin2s of the very best strains
write Tor prices and podigrces.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

These prices are cash in advance
III there IS any pGp..r you want.
not on this list. we can get it for
Yon. For SIMPLE copies y ldl ess the
above papers or
THE ARGUS,
u Kingwood, ". Va.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11

70 IHs LOfrons- plals9 inform your reader
That bavo positive romoliy Pr the above f,,.s
disease ~ iis timely use thousands Of hopeless
ciscs AtFo bsen permanently cured. IshaiI Dr. ias
% send two bottles 81 sos .rfv rREE 10 ars 81
your readers who have CONSERVATION N obey VII.
80 me thc'r , rrtra Ena H u. f-l ..ra.f
fniQs r. A. sloCyN. "a. u. ia psarl s.. h. X.