davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
MADE A FIzzlNO COMBINE.
A Drummer Out-Yarned by an Old Man
who Had Been West.
Dol DoPHINUs,
Chief Clerk.

A Drummer Out-Yarned by an Old Man
Who Had Been West.
The drummer had finished telling
tho Press man remarkable story.
when an old man who had been listen
ing quietly squared his chair around
aud put in.
That yarn OF yours don't surprise
me bit" he said earnestly. Il
used to live in the West myself and
had some strange experiences in the
mountains"
las to howP' inquired the drum
mer with somo show OF resentment.
We'll in every way. | was COW
boy aud miner and "a stage driver and
merchant and a little OF everyth ing,
but the oldest thing that ever hap.
pened TO me and Knocked my chances
OF becoming a millionaire silly took
place in "a wild valley about 100 miles
from Denver had gone there with
my partner prospecting and one day
in digging around sort Of pro.
miscuously we struck a vein OF pure
soda. white as Snow and beautiful TO
look at.
we drove shaft in it TO depth
OF 100 feet and found that there was
enough in 1t TO make Us rich. so we
went back to Denver and brought out
some capitalists and they were eagor
TO buy it on the spot While the
dicker was on. and just before we
had agreed upon a price Il couple of
fellows found Il sour-tasting spring
about a hundred feet up the hill and
they began to drill q hole to see what
it was. They found out mighty
quick too for they found vein of
vinegar in about twenty feet and a
big three inch stream came out with
rush that they couldn't cheek. and
before anybody had any time to do
anything it had swooped down the
narrow gorge and was running head
on into our soda well"
The old man stopped. and the
drummer asked what difference that
made.
Never saw an allcali and acid com.
bine, | reckon did your exclaimed
tho old man. Il never saw the genu-
inc thing myself until that day and
we all saw it then whom from the
mouth of the shaft there heaved up
fully fifty feet into the air six-foot
square column OF sizz and lather and
foam til you couldn't see anything
else in the gorge. We couldn't stop
the vinegar and Tor month she
sized away and there wasn't enough
soda left in the pocket to tone up a
biscuit with.
Then the old man. with solemn
look at the drummer got up and went
of 10 bed.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
CURRENT BREVITIES.

Uncle Sam has 800 silk mills.
Calling guns are now fred by cleo
tricitv.
All ancient actors wore masks with
metal mouthpieccs to act as speaking
trumpets
A process for making artificial mica
sheets for electrical Insulation i. late
invention
Gainesville, Fla. lays claim to the
largest and finest Japan pcrsimmon
grove in this country.
Stockings were first used in the
eleventh century; before that cloth
bandages were used on the feet
Tigers arc worth from 81, to
Sc, 500 Jack, with the Barnum show,
the largest tiger in captivity, is said
to have cost So, 500.
Somebody claims that an electric
plant has hecn discovered in India
which will influence magnetic needle
twenty feet distant.
NJ Grandin, the French pedestrian
who recently walked from Paris to
st. Petersburg, set out soon after he
reached the Russian capital for a
tramp to Moscow.
A freight car thirty-six feet long has
been built Of steel in Manchester for
the Mexican railway company. 1t is
said to be heavier than a thirty-four
foot wooden car, and will hold nearly
three times as much, with no more
dead weight.
One of the attractions at an indus
trial exhibition recently held in Metz
was the ehaise in which Napoleon
travelled from Paris to Moscow in 1872.
1t was bequeathed TO Baron de Hunol-
stein, who sold it 70 a man in Metz
upon condition that it should never be
considered as an article of commerce.
A school boy was reading in his
Scottish history that at the battle oi
Bannock burn, when the English
army saw the new army on the nil
behind, their spirits became damp,
and the teacher asked what was mean
by "damping their spirits" to which
the little Scotchman at once replied:
: "Pittin' water in their whusky."
The rosin weed, species Of sill
phium, and first cousin TO the burd oclS
is natural compass 1t grows every
where in the West, and wherever it i.
found in open ground, that is, il
ground not shaded by trees, houses OF
fences.s its leaves point directly north
and south. This popularity has given
it several names applied in different
localities, and it is variously called the
compass plant, the pilot weed and the
polar plant
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

A negro while digging post hole
in Liberty county, Ga., the other day
dug up pot containing about $1,000
worth OF French coin, supposed to
have been hidden there by Blackboard,
the freebooter.
A japanese Laundry has produced
the following advertisement: Con
trary To our opposite company we VIII
most clearly and carefully wash our
customers with possible chief prices AZ
follows: Ladies' dolls. per hundred;
gentlemen, IA dolls per hundred.
In retaliation for the statement by
DR.. Lombroso, the Italian scholar
that lit is almost impossible to lind
perfectly sincere woman" leading
woman's club in Philadelphia has
solemnly resolved that lit is as natural
for the average man to lie as to cat
TO decide bet two young men az
Lebanon, Pa, put wasp and black
hornet under glass tum bier TO deter
mine which would whip other. No
sooner had the vicious little beasts
been imprisoned than the wasp at
tackled the hornet. They fought quiet
" but valiantly, each using its singer
to the fullest extent. In less than ten
minutes the wasp was n corpse, and
two minutes later the hornet expired.
The bodies of both were swollen to
three times their normal size.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
UNDER MELTING BUTTER.
Where the Abysslniln "Swen" Gets Ills
pomaIr.

Where the sbyssiniln .Sweu" Gets Ills
PomaIr.
An Abyssnian will tell you with
out blush that he is necessarily
washed at birth cleans himself OF
his marriage morn and hopes TO BE-
dashed after death; that once every
year he dips himself in the river on
the fest val OF St John the Baptist
and regularly every morning lie vets
the end OF his toga with the moisture
from his mouth aud freshens up his
eyes,
Whenever he feels his hide hard
and uncomfortable he annoints him
self with mutton fat says the Century.
OF n morning one may see the
jeunesse dorce OF the town stalking
with body erect and with about Il
pound OF butter stuck on their heads
gradually melting un dcr the increas.
inn power OF the sun.
! he women look Il shade cleaner
occasionally caused not by any act
OF their own but through the acci-
dent of be nc for hours in a rainstorm.
which at this season occurs daily. bus
even then the odor of rancid mutton
fat impregnates the atmosphere
wherever they may be.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
People who Eat Clay.

Clay eating. perhaps was unknown
prior TO the discovery OF the Ameri-
cas- the first known illusion TO that
curious article of dlet being found in
the journal of Sir Samuel Argole in
that part devoted to his travels in
The Land OF Virginia - in the year
l61. In this journey he says
II likewise found mine OF strange
earth. the virtues OF which know
not. but the natives use it for pnvsic
and allege that it cures pain in the
stomach and Il variety OF sickne-ses. !"
Even at the present time the poorer
classes OF whites n North and Souf
Carolina are said to eat clay TO such
an extent as to give their compile ions
pecul ar greenlsh hue. Humboldt.
during his explorations OF the Ric
Negro South America discovered q
tribe OF Indians whose principal
food during the rainy season was IA
fat unctuous clay called 'bole. y
There are several Central American.
tribes that greedily devour the earth
OF ant hills and the same may be SAIL,
OF the negroes OF Sierra Leone. liz
Germany. during the time OF the last
famine. an infusorial earth called
mountain meal was largely used.
either with or without a mi Nture OF
wheat flour
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09


time two, mission schools meeting
at different hours.
In 1871, after the great fire, he left
home and with three other youhg
men, whom he persuaded 10 join him,
rented rooms in one of the poorest and
toughest parts of the burnt district of
North Chicago, and gave himself to
relief and mission work. Hero he
started Every body's Mission" in a
German beer-hall and theater, after
wards removed to building
of its own. This mission, with
an attendance of $50 to $50, made up
of some of the worst elements, he sus-
tanned for Eve years without financial
aid from any church or society. He
has since organized and superinten ended
North Avenue Mission, Lake View
Mission and Lake View Union Schools
in Chicago, and Grace Sunday School,
Elgin, besides several smaller enter
prises,
His first publications were prepared
only for his own schools; then, to
cheaper expense, he solicited orders
from others. This was the beginning
of a wonderful growth and popularity
which, in sixteen years, has made his
name a household word.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
1T PUT HIM TO SLEEP.
a Li'.ie Story rhat Mrs. & ,iiiper Told Z
Her son Geor,se.

A Li>.ie Story rhat Mrs. & .iliper Told IL
Her son Geor,.e.
Just before the train started tho
other day when wentto Bridgeport
said Mrs. Calliper TO her siy-year-olG
son George as she began getting him
rendy for bed IA lady ,nd two chill
dren came into the car at | was ia.
and walked along through it looking
Tor seats. She WAS a handsome lady.
with gray hair and she was very
nicely dressed. The children were
both very pretty and they were
nicely dressed too. One was boy
about years old and the other was "a
girl about 4.
'Oi course they wanted to sit to-
gether il they could but almost all
the seats wore taken. and they couldn't
find places until they had got clear to
the front end. There they found tho
last seat the one in the corner.
empty and there was one place next
10 the aisle. in the last cross seat on
the same side Of the car. The chill
dren climbed up into the end seat and
looked out OF the windows; the boy
was at the end window and the girl
was at his side. The lady took the
vacant place In the cross seat.
Pretty soon at one OF the way sta
tions the people right across the aisle
from where the lady sat got out The
lady touched the little girl and they
moved over so that they could sit to.
gether The little girl sat by the
window and the lady sat by the aisle
where she could see the boy and be
near him.
just after the train had started
again the little boy turned round to
say something TO his sister, and she
WASH there Then he looked to
where the lady had been sitting ana
she had gone, too He began to get
alarmed and his face got very SOBER
and he said:
Where's grandma"
Shed been watching him all the
time, and she leaned forward ana
said:
Here am Harry. and he said.
oh h-h' 4 smilo spread over ti=
face and he said:
i on Wouldnt leave me. would
YOU grandma and she said:
Never. Harry. never
And she said it so earnestly that
all the people sitting around there
smiled; they couldn help it they
were all so much interested. Then
when Harry saw that everything was
all right he turned around and looked
out OF the window again, and all the
rest OF the people just attended their
own affairs as though nothing had
happened. | think Harry was Il nice
little boy don't you?"
Yes do - said George and
think his grandma was nice lady
too don't you?"
Mrs. Calliper agreed with George
in this and at the same time she pul
him in his bed; two minutes later he
was fast asleep.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
DIVERlING DIALOGUE.

Dimling Why did you leave the lee
turc platform. Larkin? Larkin-Well,
l was eggel on TO take that step.
Buyer-Is this suit all wool? Mozin-
sl5y-l Won't lie to you, my friend, for
it is not; dc buttoni vas made OF silk
Love is blind, according to the pro-
verb, and according to the pictures he
dresses as il he thought other people
were.
1--WE were going to the theater last
night, but my wife mislaid the
tickets" ."ITow SOP" "She put them
by mistake into her pocket"
$50 Jinlxs has abandoned the study
of theology and taken to the stage,
ah?" ''An old uncle of his died and
left him u diamond about the size OF a
hickorynut
Invalid Wifc-John, dear. ! do hope
will fud better wife than | have
been. John-Thcre. there, my love,
don't worry; there will be no trouble
about that
Phyllis-I am going to be real eco
nomical this fall Phyllda-In what
way? Phyllis-I'm thinking of hav-
ing my bathing dress trimmed with
lace and made over into fancy dress
ballroom costume.
Strawber--I sec that porter on the
Boston express died very suddenly the
other day Siugerly-What was the
cause of his death? Strawber-Somc
one succeeded in opening a window
and he accidentally inhaled quantity
OF fresh air
cts my first oifense. Judge"
pleaded tho prisoner II never got
drunk before. I'd won 81 at the races,
and" "Whau" "I'd won 81 at tn G
races and l." "officer." saId the as
tonished police magistrate, discharge
the prisoperl Call he Icst case"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
APPLIED SCIENCE.

A physician says practice at singing
wards off consumption.
If the small end turns up when an
egg is dropped in water the egg is
fresh.
The sunfiower bears 5000 seeds. the
poppy $4,000 and the tobacco plant
20. 500
Knives will not rust IL, in laying
them away, they are rubbed with a
little sweet oil and wrapped in tissue
paper.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THERE are no such eaters in America
as was the cure of Bregnies, who, be-
sides the usual supply OF soup at sim
gle meal, disposed Of n gigot OF NUT
ton, large capon, a bowl OF salad,
large slice Of cheese. bottle of wine.
and decanter Of water, and it was
not on a Thanksgiving day, either.
gruels as was the Versailles gentlem an
who in 1893 ate hearty dinner after
swallowing thirty-two dozen oysters
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

AsPERDoRF is an Austrian town of
few professions, and yet it seems a
little more than abreast with the
times At present every municipal
official there is in Jail for stealing pub
lie funds. This circumstance has
created Indignation and gloom The
people are mad that they are robbed,
and prospective set Of officials are
morose and resentful that there is
nothing left TO steal
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THE facs that Hamburg got rid of
cholera in novel fashion has come to
light The municipal authorities met
in solemn conclave, and after the min
utes of the last session had been read,
resolved that the comma ba illus was
dead. Immediately the business OF
shipping the bone and sinew of pow
erty to America to grow up on the
country was resumed. Meanwhile the
bacillus, approaching the snub, lies
low and awaits the gentle touch Of
spring.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

WE OF this country are not so given
over TO intensity as our foreign critics
appear to believe. Our people are
learning the value of rest and leisure
and tranquility for themselves and for
the nation. AS times go on and for
tunes accumulate and heirs and estates
grow in Der, the tastes for the
higher and nobler things of life will
row also. At present the second gen.
hstion il too likely to think OF
&eeA.s and clubs rather than Of
Nnd pictures, but even here
improvement
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THE college OF the propaganda at
Rome announces the conversion OF
40, 900 persons to Christianity in the
first six months Of 1892. The greater
portion Of the converts were In Asia,
West Africa and considerable num-
Der in the British provinces
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

Az Atlanta beggar burned his arm
so that he could use it to touch the
public heart He overdid the matter
and the doctor had TO amputate the
arm to save the mendicant. A more
considerate course would have been
the amputation of the beggar and the
saving OF the arm, which at least
would not have to be supported on UNI
merited charity.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

IT is said that in some of the South
sea islands an Intoxicating drink is
fabricated from mixture OF corn and
decaycd fish. The concoction must DO
almost as fragrant and palatable as is
a large part of the product of the dis
tilleries Of civilization.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THERE is one profession in the coun-
try that should take more interest in
good roads than is apparently the case
The thespians would speedily find
that solid smooth foundation is much
better for pedestrian exercises than
the irregular ends of railroad ties.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

FoR reasons which are not known.
and may never be known, certain use
full things are produced only in certain
localities One vineyard produces All
excellent wine, while the adjoining
vineyard, having a like exposure and
to all appearances the same kind Of
soil, cannot be made 70 produce wine
of the same quality from the same
kind Of grapes. The Angora goat in
his native habitat produces tho hair or
fieere from which the Turk makes the
most beautiful fabrics. Remove him
from that habitat and he soon begins
to yield fleece of IA inferior kind
and hardly better than that of COM
mon goat
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

AREAsoN given for the bad roads in
New England is that they are notused
as much as formerly aud that the most
knowledge Of any road possessed by
the farmers is concerning the one
which leads TO the nearest railroad
station. In the West the pernicious
habit of working out road tax in the
slackest manner possible is one of the
.hief muses.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THR army of Great Britain is to be
supplied with handkerchlefs upon
which the drill regulations are to be
printed in neat but not gaudy man
ner. Thus will Tommy Atkins be
enabled 10 say he nose" it all when
called upon 10 explain little delin-
uuencies
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THE Late unlamented duke of harl-
borough left personal estate OF
So, 1915 How he came to save up SO
much money is a profound mystery.
He must have been utterly unaware OF
the existence Of the DOODLE
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

OF II. >. look, u
Methodist minis
ter, and from a
child a member of
the church and
Sunday-school. He
began work. n &
in the Sunday
school in Chicago
at the age Of seven
teen, teaching in
his own church
school and ut tho
same time in one,
and much of the
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

THE frequent cases of trouble from
using coal oil for kindling purposes
and filing lamps while lighted would
go to show that a prime necessary OF
ife-tariff or no tariffs not to do
these things.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

The famous painter Fuseli had a
great contempt for chatter" One
afternoon party OF friends paid a
visit to his studio and. after few
moments spent in look ng at the pic
lures. they seated themselves and
proceeded TO indulge in "a long aud
purposeless talk. At last IN one OF
the slight pauses Fuseli said. ear.
neslly: Il had pork for dinner to-
day" Why my dear Mr.. Fuseli I"
excaimed one OF The startled group;
what an extremely odd remark !"
lis it," said thepaintcr ANONYMOUSLY.
why. ism t ii as interesting and i'm
portant as anything that has been
said for the last hour"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09

INSURANCE men in Pennsylvania are
urging the creation OF a new Office.
that OF fire coroner, the incumbent OF
which shall sit on fires and ascertain
their origin, whether they were hot
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-12-09
DAVID O COOK.
The Pioneer Pub,isher OF Sunday school
Literature

David 9. Cook of Chicago, the widely
known publisher OF Sunday school
literature, was born in East
Worcester, New York, in 1850, son
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-01-09

Shut the door
AGAINST disease. Danger comes oft
sSest through impure blood. Keep
v S blood in order, and you keep
Z health. For this, nothing equals
n Pierce's Golden Medical Discov.
sry. 1t invigorates the liver, puri-
sss and enriches the blood, and
ropses every organ into healthy ac-
ion. By this means it cures. EY-
ery part of the system. feels its
saving influence. Dyspepsia, Indi-
restion, Biliousncss, Scrofulous,
Skin and Scalp Diseases &c even
Consumption or Lung scrofula)
IN its earlier stages, all yield to it.
ms the only Liver, Blood and Lung
Remedy that's guaranteed to bene-
Ct or cure, or the money is re-
funded. Trying terms to sell on
but it's medicine that can carry
them out.
"Golden Medical Discovery"
contains no alcohol to inebriate,
and no syrup or sugar to derange
digestion.
It's a concentrated vegetable ex-
tract; put up in large bottles;
pleasant to the taste, and equally
good for adults or children.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-01-09
LOVE MUCH.
ELLA WHEELER wilcox, rs ~ 7. Press.

Love much. Earth has enough Of bitter in It;
Cast sweet into It's emp Whpne'er you can.
No heart so hard but love az laSI may win It.
Love is the grand prlmeVai cause ot man
All nate is foreisai 20 the dr-t great plan
Love much Your heart VIII De led out to
slaughter
On alars hait Of envy aud deceit
Love on, love on III bgea upon the water
" shall be cast 10 loayes yet at your feet,
unleaNened mama, most diyinely sweet,
Love much. Your faith will be dethroned and
sha en-,
Your trust BETRAYED by many fair false lure
hemount YOUR faith and let new trusts awaken
though clouds obscure them, yet the stars are
pure;
Love is a vital force and must endure
i owe much. Mems souls contract with cold sus-
piCiOu
shne on them with warm love and they ex-
pand.
It's love not creed that forms low condition
Leads mankind up to nights supreme and
grand.
Oh, that the world could see and understand
Love much. There is no waste in freely Civ
ing;
More blessed Is It even than TO receive.
lie who loves much, alone finds lite worth liv-
ing.
Love on through doubt and darkness and be.
lieye
There is nothing which love may not achieve