Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-07-10

TIE GUINEA HES AS An ALARM CLOCK
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, late chief Of
the Brule Appetite tribe, says that we
should not run down the guinea hen.
That Is true. Oogoolah- palma po-kah,
we should not run her down, because
we can't Who ever saw a guinea hen
that had run down? Ii you wish TO
be alarmed during the night you can set
your guinea on that hour and she VIII
awaken you She viii not run down.
We had domestic once who had Just
arrived from Europe, and her rest had
been broken up on the steamer, she said.
by the gayety OF the first cabin. and the
ronts and balls which she could not get
out Of very well without giving offense.
Her name was Tootie TOoterson, and
afterward learned that her rest on board
was marred by restless elephant that
occupied the ssateroom next 70 hers, and
not by the gsyety of the first cabin at
AL. as she was not in touch with same.
She slept very soundly while at our
house as cook. and irritated me by neg
Letting 10 get mp in time for breakfast.
The life of cook is such that unless she
gets up prior 10 her breakfast and takes
some exercise she is almost sure 10 get
ossihcation Of the thought gsnglia and
coma Of the diapason.
30 we got an alarm clock for her and
set it ON o'clock. II was one of those
alarm clocks which fetch loose in the
early gray Of morning like misunder-
standing between xylophouic conclave
and a boiler works. but Tootie Tooter-
sou. tired and full of fatigue and raw
dried apples. of which she was passion
ately fond. slept ON and on and on.
An actor man who went abroad for
the purpose Of doing up Henry Irving
or his own ground came home on the
same steamer with Tootie. He had the
stateroom prior 10 or forward Of the ele-
plant, while TOotie was abaft. He said
that in proportion to her size she was
every bit as seasick as the elephant was.
So he was sorry for as when he learned
that frowuing Providence had selected
Us for the purpose of rsftting-and re-
furnishing and also doing the interior
decorating of her famine works.
She was real hungry. with q tendency
toward dried apples in raw state. pre-
ferring those that had been dried ON a
string Not being familiar with the
English language. she often neglected
sometimes 20 cut the string. and thus
Col Gastric had his hands full. and
Tootie would moan in her sleep, and
moan and moan and moan.
But she did not wake up. even when
the hand 20 hand struggle with the
alarm clock came. Even the FIRE de-
partment and police walked mp. but
Tootie did not. she kicked out another
round from the foot II her bed and slept
on with her arm beneath her head, so |
an told
4 never saw any one sleep harder or
shake the SCOT down from the inside If
the chimney any more than she did.
Even after she got 70 putting the alarm
clock m her bed and il got 70 pulling
the straw cut OF the mattress and scat
tarinx the linen over the room at 4
o'clock she slept "a calmly and almost
o. unruffiedly As though she had been in
the morgue.
Il Was then that bought the stock 81
soclock gnineas owned by poultry
show and placed them under the window
Of Tootie Tcctsrson. the European
Slauierer
She's ia the asylum now. but they tell
me- that after o'clock she Is wide
awake. and people who have families
dependent ON them 20 away from there
o. soon a. they can.
lam sorry that she lost her mind. Of
scurse. but feel worse fer the person
sho found il, for once when she was