The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1892-08-26
PUNGeNT PARAGRAPHS.

KNOW all xmas OF sense except common
sense.-Ram's Horn.
The German name for sausage is
wurst. Hence when dog is killed, it
is said that he is worsted. It'd Bits.
Then the guests went home and
the neighbors went to sleep, is the way
local weekly winds up its account of
lively party given down town. Phil
adelphia Record.
-Bellows-''Now, if you were in nv
shoes what do you think you would
do?" Breeze examining them)-"Well,
certainly think | should get another
pair Boston Courier.
Miss Budd's heart is like volume
in circulating library" How is
that?" Not to be kept longer than two
weeks. ''-Harper's Bazaar
Tt must be dreadful when profess
sional singer knows that she has lost
her voice. But it is still more dread
full when she is not aware of the fact"'
-Humoristiche Batter
An editor at dinner-table being
asked if he would take some pudding,
replied in fit of abstraction-''Owing
to crowd of other matter, we are
unable to find room for it.
-Mudge-"Were you at the races
yesterday" Yabsley-'No." Nudge
Then l guess you've got it." Got
what?" Five dollars. l need it.
indianapolis Journal
A Hint. George, YOU re-
mind me of an hour-glass." George
In what respect?" Ethel-"The more
time given you, the less sand you seem
to have. Truth.
Their fathers were opposition can
didates. 81 believe" she said a trifie
haughtily, that your father is in poll
tics" ''Yes. Yours is, too isn't hep
Eyes" 'Well, he won't be after the
election. Washington Star.
A Feminine Trait You ortn't to
put them pieces o money in yer
mouth, Swipsey," said the newsboy.
why not?' demanded the bootblack
"'Coz it amt manly. 1t makes yer look
like woman ridin' on street =
Chicago Tribune.
Church Worker-.And how did Won
like the singing of our choir?' Visiting
Stranger anxious to be polite)-"'Well,
the members didn't allow their efforts
to be diverted by the mere mechanical
accuracy of the organ. N. Y. Tribune.
They Are Rivals You See.-Miss
Kostick-"Tom, Jack paid you high
compliment to-day" Miss Pretti-'In-
deed. What was it?" Miss Kostick-
HE said you possessed most remark
able memory-you can remember things
that happened thirty years ago. Yam
kee Blade.
Familiar Hicks-'My hus-
band is not at home, but you may leave
your name" Ssranger-''It'sn matter;
just say man called to see him." Mrs.
Hicks-''I remember the name; he often
speaks of seeing you at the theater."-
n V Herald
-Tapper-''So You don't altogether
like the new pastors sermons, eh?"
Dapper-''No, they are too profound
they necessitate too much headwork"
Tapper-''Quite true; / noticed that
you were nodding thro' his entire dis
course yesterday. boston Courier.
Though fathers love their boys, a
boy seldom thinks with any tenderness
of his father. When things go wrong
at school or he gets punished for bad
conduct he win grumble around that he
would leave home home if it wasn't for
his mother and his new pup. He never
wastes thought on his father-Atchi-
son Globe
"A young man, his eye blackened,
his collar and necktie disordered, his
coat torn, his hair tossing wildly, and
wearing no hat, was rushing along one
OF the streets of the Back Bay when he
encountered his best girl. "Ohl II en-
ry!' she exclaimed, in an agony of dis
tress, 81 know it all. You have seen
father. Boston Post.