davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
PLAYING DEAF,
Some of the Tricks Resorted to to Evads
Military Service,

Military Service.
In the countries of Europe in which
the military CONSUMPTION exists many
tricks are resorted to by conscripts in
the effort to escape service. Often men
have been known to mutilate them
selves, as by cutting off forefinger, in
order to render themselves unfit for the
service. Pretended inability to see is
exposed by the surgeons without great
difficulty, but pretended deafness some
times battles the examiners.
A counter trick on the part of the
officers was for some time effective
against this fraud. The recruiting
officer, after conscript had pretended
to be deaf, remarked, in an ordinary
tone of voice, ''You are unfit for the
service; you are free" In many cases
the recruit showed by evident signs of
satisfaction that he had heard the re-
mark.
He was then recalled, told that he
had been detected in his fraud, and sent
to the barracks
After time, however, the conscripts
became too wary to be caught in this
UTdD 1u0y udu OI Uu0 ana
were on the lookout for this remark,
and when it was uttered they made no
sign of intelligence.
Lately the French officers have in
vented new trap" the success of
which is curious illustration of the
ingrained courtesy, or at least the as
sumption of courtesy, on the part of
Frenchmen of all classes.
After the ''You are free" has failed to
excite any sign of understanding in the
recruits face, the command to go is
shouted at him. He starts out of the
room, the door of which is held open by
mechanical means. AS he passes
through it, the officer says:
''You might at least shut the door!''
This little unjust impeachmento of the
mans politeness is said in nine cases
out of ten of pretended deafness to re-
salt in a quick turning Of the mans
head. He is then called back and told
that he has been found fit for the
service. -YOuth'S COMPANION.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

The Protestant clergymen of Lit
Teton, N. H., have united in pub
lie proclamation that they will not
knowingly solemnize the marriage of
any person who has a husband or
wife still living, unless in the case of
the innocent party in divorce on
the ground of adultery or in the case
of divorced persons seeking to be
reunited.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
D.. Snnrceon,s Successor

LONDON, Nov. 5.-The church Off
GERS OF the Tabernacle have issued a
circular letter to the members declar-
inc rhat If is imperative that the pas
torchesen to succeed the late beloved
DR. Tpurgeon should be a firm be
liever in the doctrine OF the INNER
sion This letter is interpreted to
mean the end Of the Rev. DR.. Arthur
Z. Persons chances Of being chosen
to fll the pulpit.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
ssRoyiyO.1'

A reef iron and wine for overworked
women and men. Pleasant to the taste
and revivina in its nature; scientifically
prepared by an eminent chemist so as to
hide all taste but tina of the sherry wine,
This remedy is guaranteed to strengthen
and invigorate both body ard mind, es-
Pecially those who are overw orked physi-
cally and mentally. "Revivo" is accept
able to the stomach, its good effects are
felt at once. Quart bottles 81 90; as a
tonic and appetizer there is not its equal
in the world; unlike drugs it cannotharm
the most delicate.
ROYAL WINE Co., Chicago
For sale by Ed. M. Stapleton, druggist.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
William Norris for Poet Laureate.

1t is reported that Mr. GladSt one,
through Professor Bryce, has Offered
the position OF Poet Laureate 10 Mr.
William Morris, and that Mr.. Morris
has declined the offer. If this be
true, it shows that Mr.. Morris is an
extraordinary man and very sensi-
BILE man. To be pointed out as the
man who rattles around in Tenny-
sons shoes is not pleasant, and to
a popular business man like Mr. Nor
ris it is worth more than the small
salary attached to the post to avoid
the invidious comparison. Yet Mr..
Morris is real poet and stands, by
general consent, second only to Mr..
Swinburne, 1t is lucky that Mr..
Gladstone did not offer the place to
the other Morris or to Sir Edwin Ar
mold, for neither of them would have
declined it.-Ne,U York Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

ARNOLD WHITE, in an article in The
Contemporary Review, asserts that
if the repressive laws of Russia were
repealed, eight years would not elapse
before every post in the service of the
empire worth having, outside the
army and navy, would be filled by
an official Of the Hebrew faith.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
A Sufficient Recommendation.

Little Dicl-Aren't you goin' to call
on that new neighbor across the street?
Mamma (hesitatingly)-I don't know
anything about her yet.
Little Dic1-O, she's all right She's
the mother of that new boy play with.
Good News.
Breakfast Salsify.-Mash cold boiled
satisfy, add an egg, salt, pepper, butter
and little -four, form into small Cakes
and fry in boiling Lard. -Housekeeper.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
EXTRACT OF BEEF

S. M, Eaton & Son are sole agents
for Liebig's Extract of Beef, and
keep a stock constantly on hand in I Id.
and J tb. jars Around each package are
directions for preparing several varieties
Of Soups, etc. Every family should keep
1t IN the house. Every Restaurant and Sa-
loon should keep it, as it is quickly pre-
pared and cheap. We are also agents for
the celebrated MoXIE NERVE FooD and
keep it in stock. 1tf
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

REV. DIR. E. w. DONALD, successor
of Philip Brooks as pastor of Trinity
church, Boston, is said to be broad
and tolerant in his views and Cath
Ollie in his sympathies."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
Breaking it Gently.

Wife-He is very sick, isn't he, Doctor?
Doctor-Yes, indeed.
Wife-Well, Doctor, if there IS any
thing very serious the matter with him,
tell me all about it in such a way that l
can't understand it-Texas SiftingS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

Recommends it for whooping cough.
Mr.. John HI. Ogden, Ashville, N. c.,
writes: "I have used DR.. Bulls Cough
Syrup in my family for six years and can
cheerfully recommend it as one of the
best remedies [ ever used. Have also
tried it for whooping cough with the
best results"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

Have you ever suffered that excruciat-
ing torture known only to persons who
have experienced the paroXysms of govt?
Salvation CT III connection with the al
kaline treatment usually prescribed by
physicians Will produce a most wonder
ful ta4It4:.t
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

Nothing succeeds like success and
nothing will more quickly insure success
than true merit. For fifty years, Ayers
has maintained its popular
ity as the superior blood purifier. 1t
stands upon its own merits and never
fails to give satisfaction.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

GA chemical success and medical tri
umph," so speaks an eminent physician
in reference to Ayers Cherry Pectoral;
and the eulogy was none too strong. No
other medicine is so safe and efficacious
in all diseases of the throat and lungs
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

Halle Hair Remover cures dandruif
and scalp affecticne; also all cases Of
badness where the glands which feed the
roois o. tie hair are not closed up
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09
Aii3lt' On HOrSemen!
KINZER BOY.
No. 6526 WaIIace's REGISTER. Standard Bred.

Sired by Harry Blandy No. 1899. by Volunteer
SIS. Sire of tweptyseven 2:30 and better trotters.
Sire of five horses with records from 2:11A Ia
2:19. Sire of sixteen sons, who have produced
forty trotters with records from 2:16l5 20 80.
He is a seal brown stallion, foaed June %, 1884,
seventeen hands high, weight 1900 pounds He
mounts high in the withers like tho Volunteers
arched ribs and strong. powerful lion He is
broad across the hips, and his quarters are ex-
cellent.
This horse will make the Fall Season 1892,
commencing July lst Terms, $500 for the
season One leap $1,000. If mare has to be
returned owner can take the season term on
paying Sis extra if he so chooses Money due
after service VIII be kept at barn formerly
owned by r. Sauter, southeast corner of Second
street, one block south of Main street, Water
town. Wisconsin
n. ROGERS, Proprietor
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-09

No ChlOrofOrm No After Effects!
No "VitaliZed Air!" No Danger!
No Etherl No Nausea!
No Gas! No Sickness!
The onlg safe method for persons an delicate health
Just the thing for children and elderly Poop
E0tb5ng Inhaled! Nothing SaUaUOoUed.
With ODONTUNDER any number of teeth
can be extracted at a single sitting Nor is it
necessary TO increase your life Insurance before
coming, as you do not have to take something
and run The risk.
l possess the lease (exclusivel of ODONTUN-
DER for WATERFOWL, which | will hereafter
operate as u specially in addition to my NEW
METHOD FOR PAINLESS FILLING.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28

agent as he looked at us in puzzled way.
"Now. then, step one pace to the front and
deposit your guns"
No one stepped. There wasn't even a
cartridge to deposit
"Do you mean to say you haven't any?"
shouted the little man. "Then each man
step out and deposit his boodle."
We began on the left and each stepped
out and laid down 10 cents. The man stood
there with his shotgun at "ready" and
his finger on the trigger, but yet the alb
surdity of the situation struck the old chap
so forcibly that he lay right down and
roared until he cnoked. His mirth was in
fictitious, and the other six laughed into the
muzzles of the gun, while the driver cackled
like an old hen.
s'Do you mean to say that this is your
pile?" finally demanded the agent
''Yes-oh, yes!'' shouted the old man as
he wiped the tears from his eyes ''That's
every blamed cent the seven of US kin raise,
and you-you"-
sT'm fooled, eh?'' finished the agent He
searched every man in rotation, made an
inspection of the coach, and then leaned up
against a wheel of the vehicle with re-
proachful expression ON his lace and said:
'Boys, it's burned mean trick to play
on fatherless boy who's got an old mother
to support, and I can't git over it. Seventy
cents for this hull crowd! I've walked Is
miles and laid out all night to stop this
coach, and you offer me 10 cents apiecel
Say, don't look at me! Don't speak to mel
Don't even walk IN my tracks! cut the
gang of you dead cold toreverp'
And he shouldered his gun and walked
off into the bushes and wouldn't look back
when we called to him that he'd dropped
something.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
YARNS FROM M. QUAD.
A Road Agents Sorry Experience
With a Crowd Bound for Eureka.
INFORMATION IN TIE WILD WEST,
The Marine Editor of the Arizona Kicker
Writes an Editorial
EEcK-sTREToHISG EXPERIENCE
rvnrrrrN roR rHr p1srarcn.l

WRITTEN FOR THE DISFArCH.1
There were seven of us in the stage out
of Austin, New, and after we got started
we counted up our cash and found we had
exactly 70 cents in the crowd. We were
dead broke gang and bound for Eureka.
Not man had a bundle or Q gun even.
Everything we could rake and scrape had
been put up at Austin to buy our passage
in the stage. The 20 cents was tossed into
a common purse and redivided, 30 that each
one had capital of 10 cents to start on in
the other town. The driver had just re-
piled that 1t was clock in the afternoon,
and most of us were asleep, when fellow
jumped into the roaI few yards ahead of
the leaders and ordered the stage to halt.
As he had double barreled shotgun and
seemed to be full of business the driver
pulled up. Then the stranger, who was a
little man of great energy, came along to
the right hand door and called out in q
brisk and chirky way:
''Now, then, 20 minutes for refreshments,
and every man throw up his hands as he
steps down" -.t..
We climbed down, every man with
grin on his face, and as we ranged up in
line, hands up, the old chap on the left,
who had put 2 cents into the purse and
drawn out 10, began to laugh. "What in
blazes ails this crowd?" demanded the road
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
SENATOR DAWES TO REr1Rk
He Thanks His Constituents for Their Sup
port for So Many Years

He Thanks His Constituents for Their Sup
port for So Many Years
SPRINGFIELD. MASS, Aug. 26.-CSpe.
ciaL ]-Senator Ii. L. Dawes declines to be
q candidate for reelection. In letter ad-
dressed to his fellow-citizens of the Slate,
he SAYS: 81 cannot thus lay down the COM
mission with which nave been so long en-
trusted without expressing my profound
gratitude to my native State for the oppor-
tunity to serve her in the most honorable
position in her gift, and TOR that uninter-
rupted confidence and support which have
sustained my every endeavor in the public
service.
'I shall take with me into retirement
an undated interest and abiding faith in
the political principles which have con-
tributed SO largely to the prosperity and
good name of our Commonwealth"
Mr.. Dawes withdrawal will precipitate
the iveliest kind of q scramble for his
place. Speaker William E Barrett, of the
House; Congressman Henry Cabot Lodge,
and Hon. w. W. Grape are the leading
aspiranta Speaker Barrett has the inside
track, but he will have to fight hard if he
wins the coveted honor.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
DEEPEST WELLS In THE WORLD.
One at Titusville L. Third but DOES Not
Produce Anything.

One at TitusviIIe L. Third but Does Not
Produce Anything.
Spare Moments.I
The deepest wells are Artesian ones, so
named from Artois, one of the old provinces
of France. where they long were used,
though it is said that similar ones e1-
listed from remote antiquity in China and
Egypt, and had been introduced into Italy
before they were known in France The
soil is bored till place is reached where
water has accumulated, when it is forced up
by that which stands at higher level than
itself, and it rises to the surface, or even
above it. as fountain.
The deepest boring in the world is at
Speerenberg, 20 miles south of Berlin, this
well being sunk for the purpose of obtain
ing q supply of rock salt. A bore hole of
16 feet IN diameter was carried down to the
depth of $50 feet where the salt bed began,
After further descent Of $50 feet, the bore
was reduced to Ii inches diameter. and then
continued till the extraordinary depth of
4194 feet was reached, without having
pierced through the salt deposit, which has
thus the enormous thickness OF at least 1907
feet.
Ihe next In depth Is that at the In sane
asylum in the town of St. Louis, No.,
3,S43H feet, which was stopped at that
point, as it produced only lime; then Wat
sons, known as the ''deep we'll" at Titus
vile, Pa, 1858 feet, which, however, is
dry, and produced nothing. Then there are
that at Louisville. in Kentucky, which
produces plentiful supply, 2,O86 feet in
depth; that at Passy, near Paris, 1923 feet;
that at Kissengen, in Bavaria, 1,87sH ieet;
and the one ut Grenelle, near Paris, cele-
brated for its disasters and delays, which
caused it to occupy eight years in boring,
1888 to 1S41; but it gives 70O 900 gallons
daily. the water rising 80 feet above the
surface. with q temperature Of S11zo Fab
renheit Petroleum or natural gas wells
have been sunk to q depth OF 4,75O feet at
Pittsburg, Pa, and to depth of 4, 100 feet
at Wheeling, w. Va
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
why, one of our drivers killed stage rob
ber last summer jist below here. and the
thing got old all along the line inside Of ten
daya ps

Tho Kicker Editor in Trouble.
I clip the following from the ARIZONA
Kicker:
ExrRA EXTRA! ExTRAi-We are not the edt-
tor and proprietor of the Kicker. We are not
the man with private graveyard. We are
not the Mayor of this town. We are simply
the marine editor on salary Of 81 per week.
For the time being we are in charge OF the
office. and owing to events which occurred
yesterday we have decided to get out this
extra sheet and give the full details OF one
OF the most damnable outrages ever perpe-
trated on newspaper man in this Western
country. As this sheet goes to press the
ofhce Is full Of citizens, extending their SYM
pathfes and breathing threats OF bloody re-
venge. One word from us would precini-
tate massacre, but we shall not utter 1t.
AS marine editor we are calm and calcu-
lating.
Sunday morning the editor Of The Kicker.
who is also Mayor, mounted his mule and
rode over to Clinch valley to dig some trait
Ing arDusus to transplant to his private
graveyard. For year past the cowboys
over there have been after his scalp, and on
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
GENERAL srsvsNsoH's pRoeRAMxE.

Tho Democratic Candidate for Vice Presi-
dent to Speak in . Numbrr Of States
BLOOMINGTON. ILL, Aug. 26.-The fol-
lowing programme has been arranged by the
National Committee for General Steven
sons campaign, with the exception of few
engagements made by himself Next Sat-
urday he will address mass meeting in this
city, and August 80 he will speak at Sedalia,
Mo-, September at Vincennes, Ind, Sep
tember at Hernden, KY, Mr.. Stevenson's
birthplace; September at indianapolis,
September 8 at Marion, Ind, September g
at Clay City and Brazil, Ind, September 10
ut Green Castle and Terre Haute, Ind,
September 16 at Asheyille. N. C.
After that he will make five speeches in
North Carolina. October he will deliver
an address at Hamilton, Ohio, the home of
Ex-Governor Campbell He will open his
campaign in Illinois, in October, and will
make five speeches.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28

intelligent people. Some of 'em make it a
pint to talk to me. I had one old cayuse
up here this summer who kept taIkin' about
Shakespeare. Now, then, who was Shakes
peare? 1 kinder let on that 1 seen him
once or twice, and that he'd passed over
this line two or khree times with other
drivers, but now want dead facts. What's
his pecoolarities3'
\ shakespeare Vas a great English writer,
you know. Died 200 years ago"
"He wrote, ehR"
eyes"
.Did nuthin' put write ?"
tNo."
eCouldn't stAy by bucking broncho,
throw lasso Oh handle gun p
"I believe nok."
"Humphl And people talk about him
Say, stranger?i
"Well?"
"Aren't you fiom the East ?"
"Yes"
"And sha. 4, old cayuss was from the East,
too, 1 guess?"
every likely. What was the question
you wanted to ask ?"
"Jist this, stranger, How In Halifax do
you manage to live in blamed country
whar they praise up folks who hev bin
dssdsr'n dead gopher fur over 200 years7
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
A Numlsmstte Find,

Seventy old gold coins wers recently
found by peasant In jar unearthed upon
his estate at Wurzendorf, Germany. There
were in the lot pieces of the time of Emperor
Ferdinand IL Of Germany, 1919 to 1887; OF
King Philippe II. of Spain, 1856 to 1898; Of
King Matthias Corvinus of Hungary, 1458to
1890; of the free imperial city OF Frankfort
on Main, and of the Episcopal Electorstss
of Mayence, Cologne and Trevea
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
sIBLEY sTILL IN THE RACE.
A Report That He Had Withdrawn Proves
Only q Roorback.

A Report That He Had Withdrawn Proves
Only q Roorback.
HARRISBURG, Aug 26-tSpeeial dep.
uty Secretary of the Commonwealth Tilden,
of Erie, places no confidence, in the report
that Joseph G. Sibley, of Franklin, ha.
Withdrawn from the contest for Congress in
the Erie-Crawford Congressional district.
''The tone of the letter I received to-day
from Mr. Sibley would indicste any
thing else but that" said Mr.. Tilden,
this evening. "He has been billed to speak
for almost every day. and he is making q
thorough canvass of the district. It would
be something very remarkable if he would
retire from the contest Some business
complications might cause him to retire,
nothing else. I think his canvass is in q
sound, healthy condition.
'sMr. Sibley told me in June that he did
not desire or seek nomination for Con-
gress, but that he would accept il the three
parties voluntarily rendered him the NOM
ination. He is still in the race, and will
stay in it to the end. 7"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
He Sou ght Information.

I was the only passenger by the stage, the
driver of which was humble-looking man
of 45 shared his seat with him, and after
we had got well started he turned to me
and said:
Stranger, want to ask you three or
four questions, and hope you won't git
mad about it."
$50 ahead and ask anything you please.
"I've been drivin' on this line for ten
years and more, and have carried heap of
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28

OLYMPIA, WASH Aug. 26-The Demo-
cratic State Convention to-day completed
its ticket, as follows: Congressman, ia.
Munday; Lieutenant Governor. H. c. Will
lison; Supreme Judges, E. X. Hanna and
W. H. Brinker; Secretary of State. John
McReavy; Treasurer, Harrison Clothier;
Auditor, Samuel Bass; Attorney General,
r. W. Starr; State Printer, E II. Borden;
Land Commissioner, f. s, Lewis; Super
intsndent OF Schoolh ]. w. Morgan.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
NOT A HEN, BUT A SNAKE.
A Georgia Mother Loses Her Five Childre
In One Dreadful Day.


ATHENS, GA, Aug. ga farmer
named Wilson, living in Madison county,
left home and went to the mill, leaving his
wife and four children at home. Two hours
later he returned to find his wife living on
the e oor insensible with four dead children
about her. The story the mother told
when restored to consciousness was re-
markable one.
She said she had taken the baby to the
spring, leaving the other children In The
house. Hearing their cries, she put the
baby down and hurried back to the house,
where she found two dead, the others dying.
The living ones said they had been poking
their fingers through a crack in the floor,
and hen had been picking at them. The
mother went back to the spring after her
baby, and found it hal fallen into the spring
and drowned. The third child had died
when she got back to The house. and the
mother swooned away. Investigation showed
that tine supposed hen was snake.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
WHERE WAS 1 ATT

hicago Times.1
In the halls of legislation
or this great protected nation,
In the heat or declama ion
ORA most profound orition
Came n voice in exclamation
Where was / ut?"
Just imagine the sensation
ORA lord of all creation
in such awful sftuation!
Fancy what his desperation
When he sought the information
"Where WAS 1 atf''
Gentle sounds OF cachinafion
Greeied his vocifcratiun,
And there was an intimation
That twas plain intoxication
eau ed bis wild Interrogation
Where was atl''
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28

but 1t il always about p, 900 strong. In
1891 We had 2, 40 officers and 1920 men.
Our militia does not form part of the army,
but it could be counted in if needed, and
in 1891 1t numbered s, 81 officers and 101,-
981 enlisted men. Not great showing,
this, compared with the European armies.
For example, Great Britain has the small
est peace strength in Europe, and she has
141, 800 men; Italy has go, 900 men; Aus
tria-Hungary has $4,000 men; Germany
has 00.000; France, 525, 900, and Russia
835, 900 men always under arms.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-08-28
A Natural Ice Mine.

The eitizers Of the town of York, In Mon.
tana, do not have to depend entirely upon
cold westher for their ice, because In Q
gulch near at hand is natural ice mine,
piled. This Is additional evidence that the
resources of our continent are marvellously
great We should all be proud and happy
that we live in country so favored BY No
ture.