Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1892-04-28
cHEsTNUTs,
NO MOSS.

mean. Come around next week."
He-l idolize you! May / hope
that you return my affection?
She-Oh, yes; take it back
don't want it.
$50 you have been appointed to
Office? What do you do?"
clay plans to get appointed to a
higher one."
Dukane--"You have q fine new
watch, | see."
Gsswell-"Yes; isn't it q beauty?
It cost $3.50"
"Keep time? No; time plies as
fast as before | bought it."
Strawber-You know that girl /
have been calling on so much lately
Well, what do you think of this for
. dressing gown? She just sent it
around with . note.
Singerly-That's fine. What
does she say IN the note,
says
she hopes I'll wear it every night.
Citizen with two revolvers and II
Winchester)-Did ye view tn body
o tn chump we lynched last night?
Coroner Granddaughter!
Citizen (threateningly) - Wot's
y'r verdict!
Coroner Chastity -Committeed
suicide at the hanbs Of persons I'M
known.
Mss. Riley-Phwat ID that BIZ
chloride Of goold Oh hear SO much
about, Mrs. Foley?
Mrs. Foley-Oi'm not positive,
Mrs. Riley, but Oh t'ink it's a new
koind av drink tn foor hundred
do be afther takin''
Mr.. Wayback-Bs ysw the waiter:
Wsiter-Yes, sab.
Mr.. Wayback-Dew yew know.
I've been a wanderin' all along why
they called these places chop-houses
| know now. Will yew please bring
me All AZ? | want tew cut this
steak.
Msrie-So you are engaged to
Charlie Chester?
Clare (carelessly)-Y.s.
Marie-Isn't he the fourth Char.
lie to wh"om you are engaged?
Clare(listlessly) l believe so.
Marie-Good gracious, Glare,
how do you tell them apart?
Clare(sweetly)-I don't.
Mr.. Sis a very absent.
minded man. Mrs. s. asked
him the other day il he would cal
in at a furniture store when he wa.
up town and send up two copper
colored %portieres. He said he would
and straightwsy went and forgot il
until just q few moments before i,
was time for him to retarn. Then
he remembered his wife's order but
nothing definite. At last he rushed
into an intelligence Office aud left
this upon the slate;
"Mrs. S. wants two copper
colored porters; send them up III
once s."
A man whose head was was per.
fectly bald sat down in q Griswold
street bsrber-shop with 6 grin on
his face, and as he wss being lath.
cred said: 81 suppose that you
have observed that | am bald head.
si?:"
eyes, sir; l have noticed it, sab, >
replied the barber.
"Rather got the advantage of You
eh::" eaM
Glow sah?"J --.~9fxz]
"Nhy you cannot well ask me il
| want my hair cut"
"No, sab | can't, sab; but l wish
es to call your 'tenshun to my h'ar
rcnewer-j0 cents a bottle-a pint
IN n doLtle make YOUR h'ar grow
in TO- weeks, sah"
Mr.. j. Crowell Sprlnter. the no.
ted athlete, was loafng away the
morning in Tom DeWitt's bache-
lor apartments, when he noticed
a handsome silver mug that stood
on the table.
"Hello! Where did you get this?"
he asked.
"That is a first prize and COM
memoir tcs the only event in which
[ won a cup" answered Tom.
"You! Where?" calculated Mr..
Splinter inastonishment' ooh! |
See the date-June Z, 1861"
eyes; that was my birthday"
"No wonder you won it," said
Mr.. Sprlnter disgustedly; "there
was no competition"
That's a fine dog you have there"
said gentleman to Dunn Cosburn
yesterday.
eyes," replied Dunn with a
chuckle, "that dog Is a dandy. l
have been living off that dog for
over two years now. He makes me
a good living"
"What. You don't mean to Ia
that the dog keeps you, instead of
you keeping the dog, dc your"
"Well it's pretty much that way"
said Lum. ''I'il tell you how it Is.
That is a darnation fine looking
dog and | have no trouble IN selling
him for five dollars any day. 1 sell
the dog, get the money, and about
the next day the dog comes home.
Then | sell him again. BY dispos-
ing of the dog two or three times a