Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
Ill-ASSOrted Marriages.


that those who are suffering from hasty |
and improvident marriages cannot be
induced to keep the details OF their
griefs and discomforts to themselves,
or at least within the circle most i'm
inediately affected. Enough would
still be known to point the moral
which must be patent to every observ-
er. There is no excuse whatever for
an ill-assorted marriage. Its disastrous
results are inevitable, and the excep-
tions which go to prove the rule are
few and far between. Such a marriage
is an act of folly of which the actors
are sure to repent. 1t may be that the
penitential tears are shed in private,
and the cold and silent lips may never
betray the secret, but the constant
hearta che will write its lines of sorrow
on the face.
We care not what are the conditions
of the inequality, the result in each
case is the same. A silly young girl
marries a man old enough to be her
grandfather. He may dote upon her,
cover her with jewels and elegant
raiment, and wait upon her dainty
whims with unceasing courtesy, but
the two will only be paired at the very
best. They cannot become one flesh
according to the design of the Creator.
The husband may not be racked with
jealousy every time she turns her
kindling eyes and blushing face to
some younger man who might be
fitting mate for her if she was not al
ready tied in bonds that each year be-
come more and more irksome. She
may be true to him even in her Utmost
thought, but the day when he must
lay down the burden of life will be as
ISOLATED in her anticipations with the
idea of release. If it was to be done
again, and she stood once more as of
old at the parting of the two ways, she
knows very well that this would not be
the chosen path. She may never muir
muir audibly or pour complaint into
any human ear, but she has a burden
whose weight is always felt on the
weary shoulder.
| The young man who marries an old
woman, whether she is maid or widow,
is either mercenary knave or a fool.
He may not have said to himself that
he has taken the step to secure a home
or q fortune or some one to care for
and support him, but this, in most
cases, is the open secret of such in
congruous unions. If free he would
not repeat the act, even if he cannot
fully explain the impulse which led
him to commit it. If he never shows
any disrespect to the motherly face,
nor turns with feeling of repulsion
efrom the gathering wrinkles, he knows
| in his heart that she does not hold the
place therein intended for his bride,
and he cannot install her image there
by any art or device he may practice or
invent for the purpose. In most cases
the old man with his girlish wife, or
the youth whose bride might have
been his grandmother, do not live
| together even in outward harmony, if
they still abide under the same roof
Jealousies and chickering's soon wipe
out all memory of the honeymoon, and
a separation is the usual result even
where nothing worse is known.
We read every few days of girls of
tender age who have plighted their
troth to one but little older than them
selves, and have been persuaded to ac-
cept the marriage bond many years be-
fore they are fit to enter into such an
engagement. It seemed to them that
life was to be strewn with roses and
that rainbows were bending over all
the path that lay before them. Throw
ing aside the advice of their elders, and
confident of the soundness of their own
judgment, they surrendered their lib
erty with all that it meant to them for
a golden token that seemed like a
fairy bond, holding all the gifts of
dreamland in it's narrow circle. Marry
in haste to repent at leisure" is the al
most invariable history of these pre-
mature connections. What does girl
of fourteen or fifteen know of the
duties and responsibilities of wife
that she should dare to assume them
while she ought to be wearing short
clothes and regarding herself as a
child? A boy of eighteen Or twenty is
not fit to take to himself wife, and
yet we read almost daily of youth of
this age at the marriage altar. 1t is
worse than mere thoughtlessness, for
there is often reckless disregard of all
the decencies of life in such under
takings.
All who assume the bonds of matri-
mony without thorough knowledge
of the partner thus engaged for life
must risk the ''incompatibility of
temper described by the great novel
list, which like a wedge will drive the
married pair further and still further
apart with each succeeding year. But
there are some added conditions that
render an early estrangement almost
certain. One of the most prominent of
these is difference of religious faith.
A Hebrew and a disciple of Christ can
not live together as husband and wife
in harmony without an amount of
mutual concession and forbearance not
to be expected of ordinary humanity.
The union of Catholic and Protestant
may be more hopeful, but there are
serious questions, such as the training
of children, which cannot be settled
without a complete surrender of one
side to the other. The mixing of races
we regard as a crime. A negro and
Caucasian are separated by the will of
the Creator, since sterility is at the end
of the line. The Chinese and Japanese
should find wives of their own nation
ality. We do not see how any self