The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1892-09-07

can Tendency.
fFsom tee Ch;cagoD Daily Inter-ocean.l
The next thing and some light
hearted American will be quoting
Shakespeare as saying, 'Brevity is the
30. W.'''
The speaker wss Col. Solomon Bngg,
late Of Kansas, and editor Of the FL
Dorado Spleen. The colouelwas seated
at lunch counter with his heels hung
ona ahigh round and his bent legs manu-
featuring two large bags in the knees
OF his trousers, a function for which
lunch counter stools are Justly famous.
He took off bis broao-brimmed hat
and, surveying it casually, continued:
Where is the country goingto, gen
tlemen? what's go:3g to become Of
us? ] ask this IN all sincerity. Has
the American nation respected the
sanctity of anything? Do the Ameri-
can people hold anything inTiolable?
Is there any pride in the preservation
OF any art in the national conglomerate
called Uncle SAM? Show an Ameri-
can beautiful pastoral painting and
he will ask the artist how much wheat
to the acre the field over to the right
ofthe picture IS intended to produce.
s.Take him to classical concert and
he viii pick tie biggest horn for the
best music.
s5 .fAnd look at our language. Just
think kow it has been juggled and
jumbled. There is 10 respect for
purity, for forn or precedents. 1t is
abominable, scurEiiously abominable,
sir. How many citizens of Chicago
speak English to-day? Just now I
asked the waiter to bring me cup Of
coffee right away and he said: Cert,
P. D. O. Could Dick Steele or Addi-
son or old Dr.. Johnson understand
such English as that?
Sometimes when I get to thinking
about ColumbEa being the gem Of the
ocean I conclude that she has degen-
Grated into second-class rhinestone
and feel like packing UP, absquatu-
lating and emigrating to land where
the gyastieutus gyasticutes, the snag-
gle-toothed tigle-dewug swims in the
swish and the sozzling swirl of the
slubberly slime aud the whangdoodle
mourneth bis first born.
81 went to railroad Office the other
day ond asked ., ,er what roads I could
reach St. Louis. Did the man behind
the counter answer mein English? No,
sir. He shot the English alphabet at
me as if it had been fired from blum
derbuss.
St. Louis he said, Over the C. B.
and G. c., RI. and P; A. T. and S. e.;
C. and A.; I. c.; J. and S. W.?'
81 looked at him in astonishment.
Do you want a tickets' he asked,
coming back to English.
tI didn't, as I spoke English, and
was not yersed in American. But as I
walked out he turned to ano ther clerk
and said, ID. H, I suppose
Il rambled over to take an elevated
train tosthe base ball grounds.
Is this the eleYated?' I asked ofthe
men at the gate.
.It is the L. said he, correcting
me.
'sMore American abbrevistion,'
thought I.
ssMind your P's and Q's,' heshouted,
grabbing me and pulling me on the
train.
"'Do you like this better than the
cables" asked, drawing the guard into
conversation.
Gable n. Co. he answered to my
misery.
*'Did you leave the cable volunta-
rily?'
"sNo, I got the G. B.
'iAbbreviation everywhere; nothing
but the alphabet with disordered
stomach.
II dropped over to the base bali
game. I have always heard that it is
the American national game. I guess
that is true. It is impossible, at least,
to understand it with the English
language. Iopened the score book. This
is what greeted my eyes: A. z. P. o.;
II. .B.;P. B.; S. B.;1 B.; A; B.; R. B.
on b.;H. by lib on E.
'4And this in country that claims to
speak the English language! might
as well have been in the vill5ff tors
Heopsrigliss I'D sa ssasassac asca 4 asEatch- moo