The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-03-09
HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW.

HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW.
you've come, have you?" said my
mother-in-law, in deep voice, as she
stood on the threshold, grimly survey
ing me with eyes that shone like hard,
greenish-blue gooseberries behind her
spectacles. For such modern trifes as
eyeglasses were as unsuited to my
mother-in-law's fine Roman nose as a
point-lace collar would be to the Venus
di Milo. [ could feel her glances pene-
trate to the very marrow of my bones;
and yet contrived to keep bold
front, as I stood facing her.
1t was rather curious complica-
ton. Ny mother-in-law had not the
least idea who I was. l had cheerful
ly intended to take her by surprise;
but now that the eventful moment had
arrived, my courage, like that of Bob
Acres, as Jefferson shows him, was
oozing out at the ends of my fingers.
Ny name is Richard Dalton. l was
then just 81, with a face that was not
absolutely ugly, sublime audacity
and pockets particularly well-lined,
and 1 had just distinguished myself by
running away with pretty girl from
boarding-school.
"But, Dick" she had demonstrated,
"we've nothing to live on"
"Don't be goose, darling" had
been my reply. "What do people need
to live on? All the wants of this
world, more or less, are Fictitious. A
crust of bread and glass of water
three times day, and now and then a
suit of clothes-we must be poor, in
deed, if we can't manage to compass
that"
Nettie had looked admiringly upon
me, and acquiesced in my argument.
We had taken board at the Angel Hill
Hotel, and began our honeymoon roy
ally. At the end of month, mine host
had become a little importunate on the
subject of his bill, and Nettie's mother
had written a letter to her, signifying g
that she wanted nothing whatever to
do with US. We had made our own
bed, she signifed, and now we might
lie on it.
"Oh, Dick" cried Nettie, clasping
her hands, "what are we to do?"
Hanged if I know!" was my rather
blank response. "But don't cry, dar-
ling, I'll go and see her myself"
'You, Dick"
81, myself"
"She'il have nothing to say to you"
"She can't help herself"
'She'n turn you out of DOORS"
"We'u see about that"
"But, Dick, you don't kncw-you
can't have any idea-how terrible she
is, sighed Nettie.
"St. George conquered the dragon,
my love-" / asserted, cheerfully, "and
l mean to conquer your mother! So
pack my valise, there's darling, and
I'll be off before the landlord comes
back from Boston!"
"But, Dick, if he's troublesome, what
can I say to him?" appealed poor little
frightened Nettie.
''Ten him I've gone out of town, and
shall be back in a few days." said ]
confidently.
But, valiantly as I spoke, my menta,
sensations by no means correspondent
with this bold part. l was beginning
dimly to realize what very unwist
step I had taken, and also persuaded
poor Nettie to take. And / was secret
Iy making up my mind that if Nettie's
mother refused to receive us, l woulc
| ship myself off to sea as second mate
or third purser, or something of thai
sort, send my advance wages to my
poor little wife, and commence the
world over again in this irregular
fashion.
But when I walked resolutely up t.
my mother-ln-law' door, she greeted
me as if 1 had been expected for thu
last week or so.
you've come, have youP" was tn
salutation.
"Well, yes," I admitted, Give come.
"What on earth detained you?" SAT-
she.
In my mind cast about what to say
and settled on the first convient ex
cuse that came into my head.
"The train was delayed at Boyle
town." said I.
"Wen, come in, now that you're
here" said she, "and get warm. 1T
awful cold weather for this time c
year, isn't it?"
"Kinder," said I, with an assentin!
nod.
"Let me see," said my mother-in-laW
as she took steaming platter of han
and eggs out of the oven and lifted
shining coffee-pot from the stove
"How old are you?"
"One-and-twenty, said l.
"Do you think" said she, pensivel
feeling of her chin, chat you are abl
to take care of the place? There's
deal to do, you know, on a farm Hk
this. Do you think you're up to tn
work."
"Of course I think so" said I, wonder
inc what on earth my mother-in-laN
meant.
"You are married, I supposeP" sal
she.
} "Oh, yes," said I, swallowing the he
coffee and winking my eyes very hare
"I'm married"
"Can your wife make herself genera
1y useful about the placer" sharply d(
E manded the old lady.
Certainly she can," said l, beglr
I ming vaguely to see my way throug
: the mists of perplexity that had here
tofore obscured my brain.
: "How old is she?" asked Mrs. Nal
tin.
l Eighteen" answered.
, Mrs. Martin frowned.
"What does possess girls to get ma
T ried nowadays" said she, "betol
they've left off dolls and patchwork!
: looked thOugnGIully uoWn avs u
pattern of my plate-a pink Chinama
crossing a carmine bridge, with tW
very red willows dropping at the Il
end of it, and some impossible streaE
of water below-and made no dire
answer. My mother-in-law was doub
less laboring under missapprehel
sion, but did not exactly see that
was my business to set her right. 81
had evidently engaged a hired ma
and took it for granted that was tt
parsonage in question.