Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1892-01-29
THE METHODS OF GEORGE.
How tho Country Simplston Amused the
village and ''sponged" Drinh

How the Country simpiston Amused the
village and "sponged" Drinh
Every country pla:e has it's queer
character--usuail7 several OF them-and
the amusement of the natives is largely
confined to the eccentric sayings and ac-
tions of these same natural testers.
The humor Ia all the more droll because
IL IL absolutely free from any attempt
at drollery.
Lucky it is for rural inhabitants that
nature provides this form OF entertain
ment, as otherwise they would run
good chance of stagnating in the seri-
Gus pool Of life and never getting the
benefit OF a smile TO soften their faces.
And SO George Stowe in his humble
way was quite beneficient CLEAN OF
light in the sober life of a little YER
mont hamlet. George was OF uncer-
tain age and Of uncertain mental CO.
pacity. He seemed simple, but in reali-
ty he was endowed with . full share OF
shrewd Yankee cunning He eked out
a precarious livelihood by driving
hack to the railway station and trading
on his deafness.
Nobody really knew whether George
was deaf or not. When a man dunned
him he was as deaf as . post, and at
other times when he tried he could hear
whispered conversation carried on in
the back of his coach. II was always
unwise to put any confidence in Georges
infirmity.
George also drank stale and bewilder-
ing draughts of beer, SUCH as is always
in a
inveigle anyone into buying it for him.
The wicked railroad restaurant was
about the only place in town where it
could be had, and there George waited
and planned traps for the unwary.
'What'll you have, George" asked q
stranger whom he had just brought
down from the village, "a glass OF beer
or piece of pie2"
Yes, yes, thank YOU" replied
George, affecting to misunderstood the
question, "l'll drink the beer and take
the pie right in my hand"
Another favorite coup of Georges
was whenever anyone said ''Good-day"
to him to promptly reply:
Eyes. thank you, don't care if do"
and steer straight for the bar.
And George worked this bit of di-
plomacy so often and so successfully
that he was in danger of becoming a
scandal in the puritanical community
through his tendency toward a condi-
ton Of inebriation. One day while rid
ing down to the station with deacon
of the church George was seized with
fit of repentance:
Deacon" said he, III would like to
brace up and do better-stop drinking
and show all the folks that am good
deal more of man than they thought.
can do it il try, l know-only, you
see, have said / was going to stop so
many times and didn't do it that they
won't none Of them believe me now"
II am very glad to hear it; but how
can you convince them?"
1--WE got an idea. Now when we get
down to the station you ask me to have
q drink. and then I'll have a chance to
refuse right before them all and show
them that i mean business this time"
"All right, George, we'll do it, and I
hope you'll stick TO your good inten-
tons"
the eating-room. A large crowd was
there waiting for the train. The deacon
in his brisk and hearty way spoke up
so that all could hear:
Come, George, have drink" he
said.
Yes, thank you, don't care if do"
replied George, and he promptly walked
up to the bar.
He had the drink and the deacon paid
for it, but the deacon lost great deal
of faith in mankind thereby. That
night he made George the subject of
prayer at the Tuesday evening meet
ing.-N. Y. Herald.