The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-06-09


wife, aud Lyman's child; also to himself and
his own wife and child. You might also cal
culate the relationship Lyman bears to his
| own wife and child and to his father and the
latters wife and child. But must DO on my
| way. Good-evening," And he was gone
When Isham G. Hicks, the husband of the
benevolent lady, returned home somewhat
later, he found the wife of his bosom suffering
from violent headache the result of an hours
graphing with the puzzle. She repeated it to
him, and retired much earlier than was her
wont, And Islam G. laughed aloud and de-
ciared that a woman had no head, anyhow,
and sat him down to work out the puzzle in IA
minutes.
When Mrs. Hicks awoke in the gray of the
morning, her husband was not by her side. AS
she stepped quietly to the sitting room door,
she heard him say in dreary monotone:
"Lyman's-baby-is- the-half- brother-of
his father's-step-m mother -who-is-also--
his-father's stcp-daughte -his-moth-
er's -daug Observation-Disclosures - how
my-head-aches."
The leaves of huge scratch tablet lay about
him, like a drift of snow, all covered with fig
ures and diagrams, and before him was sheet
setting forth II propositions, of which the fol-
lowing is a fair sample:
1.-The older nan is the father-in-law of his
mother-in-law and the husband of his grand
sons half-sistor, who is also the child's step
grandmother"
Wisps OF auburn hair lay about on the table.
Hicks remained in bed all that forenoon
with ice on his brow, and muttered drearily
sentences like these:
His wife is his baby's half brothers half
nephews mothers SON. in law-nO that isn't it!
His sons wife is his own mother-in-law and
mother OF his grandson's half-sister-um! UNI!
His mother-in-law is-oh, dear mel"
In the afternoon he went down to the Inn.
ber-yard and told the puzzle to the men there
assembled, and they all laughed him to scorn,
and then figured on the smooth side Of 36
square feet of lumber, and had three fights,
without getting so far as Hicks had gone in the
still watches of the night. A husbandman,
who had drifted in to trade horses became
involved, and beat his steed all the way home
Meanwhile, Mrs. Hicks sprung the puzzle at
the sewing circle that afternoon and the min
lister ran up against it and fell, and Thus it was
spread all over town. The children took it TO
school and fioorcd the teacher and there was
grand strappng carnival all one afternoon.
Customers sprung it in the stores. The barber
sprung it on patient and cut off his ear in
the controversy that ensucd. gentleman
and a book agent tore their clothes over it,
Young Walter Sapsmith ran up against itwhen
he called upon Miss Begad, and after an hours
wrangle. the engagement which had existed
between them for eight months was declared
Off amid sobs and cOntumely. 1t got into Jail,
and three more prisoners were graphing with
it. The maefactors stopped in the woods and
tackled the puzzle. and were captured half
day later, still entangled in the snare.
merchant introduced ii to a drummer and won
the sample trunk and head of the latter, both
of which he had wagered on his ability to solve
the puzzle inside of IL minutes The Rev. Mr.
Harps worked on the puzzle all Saturday night,
when he should have been writing his sermon,
and electrified his congregation next day by
saying:
And now. fourthly, my brethren, Lyman's
father was his wife's son-in-law. and-er-
hem! We will stand and receive the benedic-
ton"
An unwonted clamor proceeded from the w.
c. I. q. Hall, and Is different shades of hair
blew out of the window. Sing Yek, late of
Hong Kong received the puzzle from his
Sunday-school teacher, neglected his work all
day, broke his adding-machine, and in his
frenzy figured on the flaps of IS white shirts
with inhelible ink, and then laid the whole
matter before his joss. and. because the latter
would not work it out whipped him all the
following forenoon, and then, in desperation,
renounced Christianity as a snare and returned
to paganism.
The puzzle pcrmeated every nook and corner
OF the village. Two popular members of the
Y. N. G. A. slapped each others faces over it,
Col. Hooks pulled the nose Of a tourist to whom
town fought about it.
One john P. Smith attacked the wife of his
bosom with ferocty and scythe, and knocked
her into the well. where she speedily drowned
A mob chased Mr.. Smith IL geographic miles,
and gave him five minutes in which to show
cause why he should not be Iynched, where
upon he declared that the demise of Mrs. Smith
was attri butabe to Divine Providence and
stone over which she had stumbled, the same
throwing her into the we'll
This announcement resulted in prolonged
and earnest debate upon the part of the string
band, which continued until the Sheriff and
posse rescued Mr.. Smith and bore him to town.
Court was in session at the time and the case
came up for trial on the morrow. 1t was dark
when the jury were sent out. They canvassed
the case thoroughly. Hicks, who was among
them. detailed the puzzle and exhibited his
tally sheet.
At o'clock in the morning the door was
burst open and the jury fell down the stairs,
fighting like demons. The stove had been
overset and the building was soon in flames
The hook and-ladder company swired up and
ran over three gentlemen, two Of whom imme-
diately assaulted two fremen, whereupon the
whole body of the latter attacked the entire
jury impartially. The alarm Of fire aroused
the village, and the majority of the citizens
appeared on the scene. Judge Bcgad denounced
the iremen for rioting in the face of the de-
the company. Several citizens went to the
assistance of the Judge, and three men whom
he had fined for selling whisky jumped in to
help the foreman. Several prohibitionists
forgot everything else and rushed in to do
battle with the rum fiends.
A gale had sprung up, and. before the fire
had been got under control, the major portion
of the business part of the village was in ashes.
This threw many men out of employment, and
they moved away soon after. Others, seeing
that there would be no boom for many moons,
departed. Several capitalists, who had been
about to make investments. Immediately fold
ed their tents. The grand jury found true
bills against many of the participants in the
great fight. and they all fled like the wind.
Nobody wonld buy property, and the real
estate agents left.
The number of the voters was SO reduced
that rival town secured the Countyseat, and
with 1t went everybody who could get away.
The newspapers both went. Many of the
buildings were loaded on trucks and hauled off
to the new Countyseat. And finally cyclone
RACED all the remaining buildings and put On
end to the village for good and ALL
And all this was the work of the relation
L. Vo~I.