Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-07-16

they shoot ducks and catch ash. It's church
has always been dedicated 10 81. George,
five endowed chaplaincies. II would therefore
seem that Palos ie entitled to q rest
STERLING HKILlo.
Written for The Star by Olive Thorne Miller.
TALKS TO MOTHERS.
The Evil Effect Of the Habit Of Continual
Fretting and Worrying.
FRETTINd ABOUT TRIPLES Is ONE OF
Il the worst habits mother can indulge In,
and also one of the hardest to overcome. It
is, like many other vices, . virtue carried too
far. To take deep interest in the affairs Of her
family and TO do her best to make them perfect
is Trustworthy; to fret over their shortcomings
and to nag them into the way they should 20 Ii
fault to be corrected by the most earnest eff
fort A habit-bad or good-grows by in
diligence, and not only the children and the
husband, but any others unfortunate enough
to belong to the household of fretter, get
constant little pin pricks Of orders and fault
findings that are utterly maddening and de-
structive Of home comfort
UNPLEASANT FOR VISITORS
Most uncomfortable is visitor in such .
proved, perhaps for some negligence toward
herself. What do you suppose Mrs. A. will
think OF you, says the mother severely, ''if you
forget to say good morning to her? She isn't
used to see little boys forget their mannersr'
Even the husband may he snubbed for some
trife, an awkward speech or thoughtless deed,
thus Notifying him and embarrassing the
guest, who is made a bugaboo to the whole
family till she is uncomfortable and hastens to
get away.
Says Helps: "The worst kind Of tempers are
established in the fretting care for trihes." He
might Of added that il worries one into disease
and brings age before its time. Can there be .
sight more pitiful than q woman in the meridian
OF life, with a sharp, fretful face and worried,
strange voice. left. as she is certain to be, to
loveless, broken-down age?
MISTAKE TO WORRY.
have sometimes thought, when looking upon
the beautiful serenity which settles over the
face of the dead, SO soon as the petty cares
which have shaped it in lie are Withdrawn, how
great Is our mistake that we do not cease worry
ing over triAes and bless our friends with
lovely restfulness. helpful and comforting be-
yond words. If the fretting mother could get
broader outlook upon life and her relation to
her children, and realize the absolute unim-
portance OF the things she magnifies into serious
faults she would be startled. What matter il
Johnny does soil his hand or forget his man.
ners? What eternal wrong is done il Mary
does tear her dress or forget her lessonsY The
worst possible result Of either cannot compare
with the cultivation Of bitter feelings. Can one
heal the wounds made by sharp tongue SO
readily "a she can take up the stitches in Q torn
garment?
There is another point which mothers are apt
to overlook. 1t is not mothers business to
make child this way or that, according to Q
pattern she sets up. The child is an individual
soul as well as herself and has God-given right
to develop in his own way. The obligation of
parent is to guide and direct. not to force; to
teach the care Of the body and. so far a. abe
can, to train in right ways Of thinking and pure
and healthful tastes.
THE EFFECT UPON A CHILD
OF fretting and nagging is lamentable. very
bad and very common result Is want Of respect
for the mother-a fatal loss to a son. II choice
must be made between respect and love it is
Tar better for his own sake that the boy, and
consequently the man, should respect than
love his mother, and through her all woman
hood.
fretter is deceit. Don't tell mother; she
make such fuss about itr' is the first thought
in any accident or trouble. From concealing
they easily learn to fasify in order to avoid the
dreaded tongue. Often whole household will
combine-consciously or not-in deceit, and
ilot onis acclutntS anu mlsnaps, out plans Tor
the future, and hopes, as well as fears, will be
carefully hidden from the one who should be
the confidant of all
EVEN BEYOND THE FAMILY.
This training strikes deeply into the lives Of
both daughters and sons. The boy grows hard,
and when concealment and falsehood no longer
shield him he takes refuge in a rough assertion
OF himself and general bumptiousness liable
to lead him astray, il not, indeed, into vaga-
bondism and crime
The daughter is apt to take flight when the
constant annoyance becomes unbearable. No
one can blame her for preferring the half
starved life of a sewing girl, or even q marriage
which promises, however family, measure Of
freedom.
Nor does the result Of this unpleasant habit
end with the family. We could hardly endure
to know how the influence Of our smallest act
extends in overwhelming circles, like rings in
still water around fallen pebble; but little
thought about it may shock the fretter into
sense of her evil doing A husband and chill
dren sent out from home irritated, set ''cross-
grained by her, becomes each one q center
radiating fretfulness. impotence and general
discomfort upon all with whom they have TO
deal, in Office, shop or school.
HOW TO CURE THE HABIT.
The fretting habit is not incurable. II one
sees her fault and takes herself seriously in
hand it is never too late to begin The first step
Ia to realize the wrong and firmly resolve to
end it. and the second to keep constantly before
herself something to remind her of the work
she has to do. A Bible text, Of which many
that are suitable may be found, will be the best
check for some persons, while others will re-
can carry always in the heart Something
should be done. and that right speedily, by the
slave of this habit IL she would avoid remorse-
full age and an unhonored grave.