St. Paul daily globe., 1892-06-07
THE IRISH WIDOW.
Mrs. Magoogin Says Something
About the Vagaries of Old Peo-

Mrs. Magoogin Says Something
pie.
New York Mercury
''Oi wondhcr fwhat's gettin' into tl,'
ovid folks at ali. at all. Mrs. McGlag-
gerty?''
"Fwhy. fwat ar they dom now, Mrs.
Magoogn?"
rrwhat ar'n't they doin'. ye'd betther
be! !afther akin me. Mrs. McGlaggerty."
.'Ar' they euttln' up amy way dnread-
fully, Mrs. Magoogin?"
"Dhreadful is no name fur in, me
frind," said the widow. with a half
suppressed sigh. ''Oi'm glad that Oi
haven't auny ovid folks Dciongln' to
me livin', Mrs. MeGlaggerty. or begOr-
ry. ord be i'll hot wather from mornln'
TIL noight, thinbili' an worryin' about
thin, SO Oi wud. Wurra. wurra, wurra,
but aft ye kud only read the newspa-
perS. Inc frind. it's the quare an con-
cen:hric things ye'd fOiild IN thin these
days. An th' owlder payple is the big
ger diyllS they seem tobe. Av all tn
fools III tn wurruld give me an ovid
fool for an Out-an' '-Out fool intOlrely.
Mrs. McGaggerty. 1t isn't murolher
ur rabberies ur harse stailing that they
dlZ be dom; that's too dayeint an Sill
siole fur thin, Oi suppose. But they
goes an gets married fwhin they have
vail leg in TIL grave an th' other in tn
undhertaker's: an diz other eejeeattic
things that makes downright aughT
shtucks ay thin. Here is wan case
in pint, Mrs. McGiaggerty; an
ovid codger. eighty-tige years
ovid. that was divorced four tonnes,
gets married 10 an ovid pelikln, as my
ny fanny i'll call her. eighty-three
years ovid, that has buried foiVe huS-
bands. They was in love wild aich other
sixty years an hadn't tn mart to tackle
wan another, in all that tonne, altno'
they cut QUOT ca Shoine wud Scupid i'll
severil otner ways. There was great
dali av batn' about the bush in their
case. Olm thinkin, an there's
no raisn fwhy the pair ay
thin afther havin' withstud aich
others charramS an fasceenashins so
long shudn't have had the gud sinSe to
how'd out fwh0iie longer antii the
purly gates id opin an preyint thin
But think ay th' uXpayrience they
brings to their welded loif. Mrs. Me-
Glaggerty, and fwhat sthrategY th'
both av thin III De able TO RESORT TO
fwhin there's scrap in the sfaiity.
Thin there's tn crazy ovid mOOmmy
at th' age of noinetytwo, that rim aft
an elOped wild IL gIddy ana gOoShIng
craychur av Sivinty-nine. Their great
gran childher ur somebody aY thet
kOlnu wudn't cOnSint 10 thin gettln'
marrid. so be th' pumpin' powers fwhat
djZ they do but pack up their few bits
av duds an shkip be tn loight av tn
moon. Mother ay Moses. Mrs. McGlag-
gerty, but fwhat ar we comm to at all at
all twin min an wimmin ovid eneOf to
be dead 4 hundherd years cuts up dol
does oy this soOrto Sure an id takes
very Snopple and Sht0ut-heal ted pair av
young payple to do tn elopeminr thrick
i'll shtOyle, but this tOttherin' ovid
couple kud give amy young pair cards
an spades an bate thin half moilc to
th' ministher,s house. at that.
.'Oi tell We. Mrs. McGlaggerty, that
th' ould folks is comm to tn front agin.
They're very fau th' sickle indade, as
me daughter To0Zy sez fwhin Stlralk
ay Frinch sthroikeS iler. An fwhat dir
fan tn sickle name? FIiwy. it's Pariseen
for way up in G'A In other wulruds,
ids out ay soight, Mrs. McGlaggerty.
But cOmil back TO th Ollld folks,
me frind, IDS no longer safe
to say that annybody's too ovid for
mnythin'. Begorry, fwhin they'll
marry the fifth wolfe ur the sixth hus-
BAN an they in the eighties an fwhin
they'll elope an they III tn nointies,
who KNOWS fwhat divilment they'll be
up to next? Oi -wudn't be shupproised
now aft Oi hurd av palSied ovid hyp-
pykrit wud hu;ldhred and nointy
years. sin and Sorries an his back
j'inin' the Mormon church al marryin'
tin wolves as young and buXim as
meseP. Dang my buttons aft l would.
Mrs McGlaggerty."