The record-union., 1892-05-24

Eye. The man who was backing me
came around one day and put it out. |
know from experience just what the joys
OF an Eastern country editor are, aside
paper for one dollar, with chrome on
the side. l can see our Eastern friend
and brother withdrawing his patent
leather bootees from the polished top of
his mahogany desk to welcome Mr.. Jere-
miah Jay of Jayville precinct. Mr.. Jay
regards the newspaper man intently for
moment, in the meantime cutting his
tobacco pretty fine.
'Be you the editor?"
Yes, he's the editor.
"Gosh-all-hemlock! b gosh, you don't
look any smarter N our ST. Well, Ive
brought yer I'm the Observation-Disclosures
big Vailed pie pumpkin that has been
raised IN these parts for years, and a jug
OF prime buttermilk, too. And say, yer
wanter be keerful of that 'ere jug. We've
had it in our family ever since Towser
was pup. If yer break it it will cost
yer ten cents"
l also see the features of the editor en-
Veloped IN three-sheet smile as Miss
Samantha Simpkins of Oxford Township
drops IN with a cracked cream pitcher
full OF apple butter, which she made her.
self. She will return for the pitcher in a
few days. as she has to come to town any
way TO get some carpet chain and to
bring in Shote to Squire Peters. l can
see the man from Elderberry Run headed
Tor the Office with piece of terra-cotta
bacon and a sack ofcorn nubbins to make
a payment on his subscription. | can see
the small boy with warty legs and hat
full of black walnuts going into the office
10 bride the editor for mention in the per-
sonal column next week; and he II get it,
too, or his pa will stop his paper.
California editors do not receive these
pleasant calls. When a visitor drops
into California office it is time for the
editor TO take it back, take drink, or
heel himself for the fray. For elegance OF
diction our Eastern brethren possess them
selves OF the pastry, but when it comes
down to hand-to-hand conflict with hot
words the Californians stand pat, as the
student of poker would say.
1 noticed in an Eastern paper the other
day the rare good advice: Never emu
merate your Juvenile poultry previous to
their incubation" Here in the uncouth,
shaggy West we would simply say:
Never count your chickens before they
are hatched." Another Eastern editor
rang in change Oh The more, the mer-
rier," as follows: "Multitudinous assem-
natory hilarity." The Eastern editor is
all right-he carries his head with him,
and his heart is III the right place.
/ suppose an apology Is due this patient
audience for my loose and disointed re-
marks, but what could be expected from
one who was born Loos From CORE
spondence between members OF the Ex-
ecutive Committee and myself l have
learned that they did not expect anything
of merit from me on this occasion, and |
believe / have fully met their expecta-
tions. l could do worse than this and
not half try.
In conclusion, / shall say that 1 sim
cerely hope that each succeeding year
may bring greater blessings to the news
paper fraternity, and that the ties of
friendship and protherly love between
newspaper workers may become strength
ened by united and harmonious action.
forming brotherhood as powerful and
elevating in its influences as any Of the
great beneficiary orders in the land. We
should all aim to elevate journalism by
pursuing an honest, straightforward
course; and where we are approached by
the willy politician who wishes to buy
our influence we should arise and say /:
''Siri you insult us, We cannot be
bought! But, in case we could, how
much would you be willing to give ?"
Let our lives be such that, when we leave
this world Of unpaid debts we may hope
TO penetrate the blue ethereal vaults and
reach the land of everlasting glory, where
paper bills never become due and sub
scribers pay their subscriptions.