Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-03-16
TEA-TAB BILE SALAD.

ii
the dog may bay it, but they can't
phase it.--Dallac Meas.
OF course, the ladies of New York
look upon Jack the Haircutter" as a
barberous fellow. --Memphis -lppeal-- ia0l-
anche.
THERE'S richness for you," said the
doctor, as he injected charge of gold
into Respondent Bingham
tom Republican. Esassa8s' w,
PROMINENCE has its drawbacks. The
drum major doesn't see near as much OF
the parade as the man on the curbstone.
= indianapolis Meas.
THE water of the ocean is not fresh.
Why" asked the teacher. Because, .
said Willie, there's so much of it no.
body can empty it out and renew it. -
Hdrper's Bo-ar.
TEACHER of PHYs1oLoGY.-"Wh in
gredient which is highly essential in
the composition of the human body
does sugar possess" Pupils lin one
voice =" Sand. "-PhGrmaceutical Era.
''How do you like city hustle ?" she
said to the visitor from the country.
~ don't know" he answered, rather
abashed. lit kinder struck me that
they warn't wearin' 'em any more. -
Washington Star.
SoS-"Say, pa - Father-''Well %
els vessel boat?' Yes" SAY,
pa - What is it?" ''What kind of a
boat is bloodvessel ?'' ''It's hfe-boat.
ger.
De recordin' angel won't hab to work
nights, deah breddern, putting down
de good deeds oh de folks that keep
Lent just because it's fashionable an
because dev am afraid dat if dey doan
keep it dey won't be in the swim. -T9,t
Ree. Pink Punk.
EyADING THE LAW.--LaWyer-" Well,
we got the best of them this time. You
have been sentenced to ninety nine
years in prison. Ninety
nine years Why, I'll be dead before |
have served half of it, Eyes; that is
here you got the best of 'em. IN
dion0pohs Journal.
SIZE (after the service You dread
ful fellow! Why did you smile during
the offertory?' He-''I couldn't help
it. There was Miss Addie Pose singing,
Had [ the Wings of Dove The
mental picture of a twelve-stoner try
ing to fly with pair of four-inch wings
was too much for me. "-Peorson' s
Weeklg.
CALLED you freckled idiot How
absurd, Why, you are not freckled :
Fam.
II is mistaken idea that loud talk
gives tone to society. Boston Trans
crjpt.
A PICKPoCKEr must learn his business.
lie cannot succeed until he gets his
hand in.-Ptcaytae.
TIE man who has no business OF his
own to attend to always goes to bed
tired.-Rom's Horn.
YOU can't argue with woman; the
best thing you can do is to let her argue
with you.-E}mirG Gazette.
A MANS hand and his fist are identi-
cal, yet il makes considerable difference
which Is shaken Union County Scnd-
dTd
MEN who declare the world owes
them living are usually too lazy to
hustle around and collect it flashing
ton Star.
MS another indication of the equaliz-
ing Influences of this glorious country
that q woman's social position doesn't
always affect her standing IN horse
car.-Phj3odelphia Times.
Mrs. PoTTER--''Well, wonder what
keptyou out all night this time - Jack
Potter-''I sat up with a sick friend. :"
Mrs. Potter-"What was his com
plaint"' Mr.. Potter-"He complained
that the rest Of us cheated him. "-Puck
SOME years ago Mr.. Rothschild eager
~ argued, at an Israelite consistorv, the
doctrine Of Immortality of the soul A
Jewish savant of the oldest school, who
related this to me, added this refec-
ton: Can anyone understand this ?
A man who is so rich-and bankers aft
er paradise III the bargain ! He ought to
leave that 70 Us poor devils !''-Re1du' s
F0uiUets Detoches.
Actions SPEAK LOUDER. = Counsel
'fWill you tell the jury. Mr. O'Hanlan.
what the prisoner said to you?" Wit
ness EYER hammer, if wan O. the
diurymin will step over foreninst me
from beyant there it's wild pleasure Oil
tell him that same" Counsel-"Come,
no nonsense. Tell the jury from where
you are what the prisoner said" Wit
ness An, fax, how can Oh. sor? The
wretch only spuk to me wild his boot ="
Fun.
ton Transcript
Music seems to be organic with
Italians -Te1as .SJtings.
400 ?' mo; but if they don't look
out, most Of the 400 will belong to
Jay. Smith, Gray C Co.'S Monthly.
BARBER during shampoo)-"Are you
troubled at al by your hair coming
out?" Cholly fleeing whore his NOUS
tache ought to appear -''No, me deah
man, I'm twoubled becawse 1t won't
come out ''-Harvard Lampoon.
FRANK-"D'you know, I heard the
other day that the blocks from which
they print those $500 dollar bills in
America take nearly year to engrave."
Ella--"Oh, really [ suppose that's
why they're SO expensive" -Jatdy.
MARCH is vile month";" said Mabel.
Il hate to go out on March days. 1t
nearly blows my hair off my head"
Dear me- How unfortunate !" said
Heavyweight. Cant you fasten it on
more securely ?"-Harper's Bazar.
BIGGs-':Let's start a newspaper.
You furnish the money and I'll supply
the brains" Diggs-''Agreed. If we both
put in our whole capital we will have
the satisfaction of knowing that we can
never lose anything. "--Boston Tran
script.