The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-09-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A check mate-The stub.
A green grocer-The one who trusts.
Puck.
The handle to our name is the thing
by which pride lifts us up.
1t doesn't take bit of meanness out
of rascal to polish him.-Ram's Horn.
In the bright lexicon of matrimony,
the base ball player is not always a good
catch.-Puck.
A woman's glory is in her hair, but it
Is good plan to tie it up when cooking.
Texas Siftings.
The man who never attempts to sing
at any other time will break out in o
picnic wagon.-Atchison Globe.
'Tve lost five pounds of flesh on youi
account" sighed the butcher, as a dog
ran off with a steak.-Texas Siftings.
Every mans ideal woman is one who
would believe he caught whales in the
river if he told her so.-Atchison Globe.
1t was much too sudden move;
For just before he spoke
The words that told her of his love
The hammock broke.
Judge.
"There goes Blobski, the boomerang
poet" "How did he get that namep
''By his verses always coming back to
him. philadelphia Record.
A contemporary lays down a number
of rules of action in case of ones cloth
ing taking fire. One of them is ''to keep
as cool as possibe.-T Bits.
He-"That's that ass, Bouuderson,
isn't it2 He should have. been drowned
as puppy" She-"There's time
enough yet, isn't there l"-Puuch.
Do not Judge from outside appear
ances. The football looks plump and
fair proportioned, but there is nothing
in it but wind. Boston Transcript.
A victim o'erworkei
For whom hearts should grow tender
Is the lemon that's used
BY the lemonade vender.
Washington Star.
Hudson Rivors-''Chicago has some
very tall buildings, has it notl" sc. B.
Anque-"Has it'll You have to lie Hat
on your back to sec out of town. New
York Herald.
Dog Fancier-'I tell you, gents, that
dog o. mine is an intelligent crtter."
Synuek-"Possibly; but you wouldn't
think it, judging from the company he
keeps. boston Transcript.
A mystery on a sign at South End
provision store; "Bcef is very high,
our prices are the same" The question
is, does the sign attract or repel Gus
tomers9-Boston Transcript.
He-"I never heard a conundrum yet
that could trouble me for a moment"
She (admiringly)-"Can you always
answer them, thenp He-"Oh, no! l
always give them up."--Someryillo
journal.
Fred-"Tnere seems to be lot more
fuss made of Miss A. S singing than Miss
KS aud | am sure Mss X. has by far
the richer voice" Jack-"Oh, yes, but
Miss A. has by far the richer lather."-.
Pick Me Up.
Paterfamilias -"What have you to
show as the means OF supporting my
daughter if you wed her, Mr.. SnippyW
Mr.. Snippy with obvious embarrass-
menD-"Er-ah--l could tell better if
-er-I had seen your latest will."-
Chicago News Record.
Seedy Party Contemplating himselfin
a pocket mirror)-"Ilero l am wNring
the boots of bank manager, the
trousers of q landed proprietor, baron's
coat and vest, and even counts hat,
and in spite of all that look like
tramp. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Nellie Summergirl--''We'ye been en-
gagged over week, George, dear Don't
you think we ought to break it" George
ludemaud-"B Break tho engagement
Why, love, are you tired of me so soonfn
'N-no; but don't you think ought TO
give the other girls some chance at you,
seeing you're the only man heTei"s
Boston News,