River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-12-01
PITH AND POINT.

When sand gets in a machine
usually stops it from running. 1t isno
so, however. with the political machine
-Ionkers Statesman.
-optician-"You have a bad case
strabismus-" Ponsonby-"Didn' thin
4 was as bad as that; thought / onl,
had squint Circular.
"A Chicago Proposal. Wabash Nc
Henry-"Mrs. Lalseside-Lobelia-
You be mine?" Mrs. LalSeside-"How
much alimony do you pay?"-N. Y. Her
aid.
The Young man who makes the
ame diamond ring serve for his second
Engagement may be said to kill two
birds with one stone. -Philadelr hia
lines
Sporting Mantle wasa great pu-
giiiSt once. but he doesn't amount TO
ANYTHING anv more" Jones-"Has he
list his stren0th?" Sporting Man-'.No;
his voice Truth.
Doctor Ito tow-headed urchin)-
''llow Is vour mother. Tommy" Tom
mv-"Oh. If YOU please. sir. she's get
ting vrrv romantic in her right knee,
she saws. "-Tit-Bi
-"Whv don't you ask that officer
rhnut the locatinn?" s'Recause he is
new on the force" "How do you
lSnow?' Didn't see him paw for Tie
peanuts he is eating "-Inter-Ocean.
-Snubbed. Clara thinking to ma re
Ethel enviousl-"You can't imqc inc
how delightfullv Charlie makes lcse. e"
Ethel-"Oh. yes. can. He used tn try
il with me till snubbed him. ~. "
Press.
-Wife-'T am thinking of taking
swimming lessons. What part do you
think win be the hardest for me to
learn. dear?n IIusband-''Well. should
think keeping your mouth shut"-In-
ter-Ocean.
what, sir. YOU call me prettyP
Why. ! am an old woman, my hair is
turning white, and look. here is a
wrinkle" "a wrinklel No. madam,
1t is a smile that has drifted from its
mooringsl"-Le Gil Bias
Dear me. Mollier said papa. "why
are You beating your dollie SOP"
"'Tause," said Mollie, ''she's naughty
She said two an two make five, an
when ! told her IL was six she said l
didn't know muffin. -Harper's Bazaar.
She Wanted to See il Tried.-He-
Ibid you know that diamond will ex-
hibit phosphorescence when il is rubbed
In the dark?" Shc-''Indeed, did not.
But IL you have brought the ring with
you we can try t."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
AT last said the author to the
sociable man, whom he met on the
train. II find some one who has read
my book" YES" replied the stranger.
II didn't skip a line. l was proof
reader in the office where it was
printed. "-Washington Star.
"A Trying Admonition.-S (just
after accepting him)-"Don't look so
tenderly happy. Can't YOU manage to
wear some other expression for a little
while? Those men over there are
watching us, and if you don't stop, l
sha'n't have another proposal this
year"-Princeton Tiger.
"A Good Principle to Go On.-'T'm
sorry | can't let You have the two
weeks you want" said Mr. Dimity to
MS boolSkeeper, 'but you may have one
week" Very well, replied the philo-
sophical young man. 'half loaf is
better than no vacation. Detroit
Free Press.
81 look upon a handsome bonnet as
a dangerous thing" said Mr. Goodfa-
ther. "Eow is that?" asked a friend.
~ bought my tighter the handsomest
bonnet / could find in town a short time
,go, and it has not only turned her
head. but it turns the head of every
other woman who .vallxs past tn.
Y Press
Your husband is troubled with
rheumatism, believe" "les ="
Haven't YOU tried to get anything to
p him?" Il intend to. but I've kept
lifting it off You see. the pains are
81 handy in letting rs know when "A
storm IS coming on. In fact. John is
more reliable than the Farmers Alma
nae itself"