The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-01-31

on the Atlantic and Pacific railroad.
A prospect of soon getting under way
again had revived our spirits and set
our tongues going. After an inter-
change of views on the succession of
the presidency, and several other top
les having been canvasscd and OK
hausted, Prof Orion introduced the
Plantamour comet.
"What would be tho effect on the
earth of collision with such u body?"
asked substantial looking gentleman,
with, probably, landowners inter
est in the question.
Smash it to Finders" was the opin-
ion of passenger, who appealed, in
support of it, to one or two personal
experiences on the Erie railroad.
''And reduce its population to comet
csc state" chucklcd Mr.. Fethcrbrane
The professor, shocked at this verbal
atrocity, glared classify at the speaker
through his spectaclcs.
"What is most repugnant," said
the senator we had one among us
what is most repugnant, in contcmp-
lating such a catastrophe, is the
thought that it would leave us with
out q postcrity to go down to. The
man who has achieved distinction can
afford to meet DEATH. under ordinary
circumstances, with composurc, as
surcd that his fame will live after him.
But to blot out the race, obliterate his
tory and uncreate our planet-the idea
is intolcrahle, sir and protest against
1t! But beg pardon, professor we
were waiting to hear your views"
The professors views were far too
numerous to mention. Comets, it was
agreed by the learned, might be solid,
or they might be gaseous. They might
be running on time, or they might not
They might collide with other heaven
ly bodies, or steer clear. If solid. in
case of collision with our globe, it
would be a simple question of strength
OF materials which would get the worst
of it If gaseous probably no harm
would be donc-unlcss, indeed, the gas
proved intlammablc and set lis on fire,
or absorbed our caloric and left us to
freeze. 1t was plain the professor,
like many other scientific Bunsbys,
knew too nluch to know ything. He
could give you all the theories, but
which was the true one was other PEG.
pies business, not his.
IF one had reliable private informa.
ton beforehand" remarked Broad
street broker, what splendid point
might be made by selling short, de-
livery to be made tho day after the
crash"
Don't you never try that, stranger!''
broke in an old miner just from the
diggings. Don't you never go for to
resk your money on comet"
why not?" asked the broker.
Cease l seed that elephant"
There was general expression of
curiosity, and the stranger, being in
vlted TIC explain. proceeded:
lin the year eighteen hundred and
thirty-o was the owner of a valua-
BILE track O. land in what is now the
heart of Injinoplis; an eff I'd KEEP it.,
I'd a-ben to-day the richest man in
Injyanny. But that year comet was
advertised TO come off on the last day
of July, which was to set the world
a-tire an wind up the concarn on true
orthydox principles.
cat the fust 60 off, sot it down as
bipartisan lie, got up for political eff
feet. But Elder Spohn, pious man
and consistent politician, | know'd Of
ne backed the comet it must be all right
politically.
Il was beginnin' to feel good deal
JULIUS. when Bill Jetcr came over one
day, with bunch of green oats in his
hand.
80 Hev you noticed the oats this sea-
AS