Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-01-04


Is 20 winch could nlsks ths moss nolss,
and emulatsns each other Ia alternate
bags. bat GA this oceasien the captain
hiEasslf inserpssed. and although BY 50
do4ax 30 probably gained the undyiag
ennaisy % 10th the maEaRass loued him
and tod him go.
The next best public nuisance. in my
experience. Is the valetuiinxrian. OF
course Do not mean the patient and
genuine invalid whom everybody pities
and tries 70 maze eotnfortable, for no
one with heart In his breast can fssl 10
pity zad sym pathize with such. bat the
people who love 10 fancy themselves Ill.
and fass and worry and annoy every
body near them VITA taeir continual ~
quiremsEss and objections.
They must have the window shut. Of
ths window open: they can't sit ia q
draft, and they must have the sun; they
can. eat this or smell that, or be in the
room with the other thing; may they
have this chair. and could you spare that
hassock: the ocor OF certain towers, or
OF hay, or of fats is poison TO them;
they must have their beds made with
the head TO the north or they can't sleep;
IL a thunder shower is coming up they
mus. be provided with feather beds, or
insulated chairs, or at least dark rooms,
and nobody mast laugh about il. This
sort Of person delights in making new
acquaintance. for this means a new lis
teaer. and few ncisances are more in
to.srable. for the tune, than ffte-d-feis
from which you cannot escape. and dur
ing which you are forced 10 listen TO a
dreary detail of every i'll and every
remedy TO which Humanity is, o. fsncies
itself, victim.
Akin to this nuisance IS the confdel-
tial bore; the man or woman who insists
upon relating 70 you at great length, and
with al tho details. some personal his
tory. CT some pet scheme. or some family
quarrel. or some discovery for which it
Is hoped 70 get patent. or some plan
for coloniziuS central Africa, or the
north pole, to which your subscription
is desired. This latter point, to be SIRE,
Is soon disposed Of, and q large expert
ence has given me great facility in re-
fusing subscriptions, or IN promptly o.
fering moderate sum, intended to bay
OF further solicitation.
Occasionally, however, this does not
succeed; the enthusiast pockets the
money and keeps right on with the pro-
spectus. II is TO him the most interest
Ing subject in the weird. AID he cannot
understand that it IS not SO to you; and
there is. after all, :. weak spot in almost
e-ybody's natp-e that will not allow
one 70 rudeiy refuse the sympathy and
attention fellow mortal seems so conf
IDENTITY 10 coDn. upon, End one listens to
the story of imaginary maladi-s, O: tho
interuiinable family history, or the pet
scheme, until one is ready 20 drop with
wearinsss and ssys Of mental nausea
ed finally escapes with the sensation Of
hsstas been Gagged through q knot
hole.
A nuisanSa akin to this is tho loQua-
cious lady VINO has taken fancy to you.
The moment you appear on deck, or in
the saloon, or in the drawing room Of a
hotel she comes breezily floating toward
you, shows all her teeth in delightful
smile, kisses you on both cheeks, keeps
possession of one hand, gazss fondly into
your eyes, sinks down at your side In q
sort Of sidesaddle fashion and tenderiy
demands On account Of your health since
you last met; then she calls You a dear
naughty darling not to have eaten moro
or slept better. and begins to give you the
news Of the day. mostly in . Kissing,
ibilant whisper, interpreted with gig
giles of rapture over jezts which yen fail
to discover. or anecdotes and events
which seem to you 10. IN tho least worth
mentioning. She sits too close, she has
too much perfume, she keeps your at
tentiou on the stretch without any Sasis-
faction. she tires You, aunoys you, irri-
tates you. she is intact o social nuiennce,
and yet you cannst escape her without
downright rudeness, for, having no tact,
she has no sensitivenes, and probably
never dreams that her sentimental devo-
ton is not reciyocsted.
Another public nuisance in travelling
Il tho schoo,maseer abroad. The man
who 'orstes' TO strangers, uniavited
and often unwelcome. he insists upon
giving you information which! you don't
want, and convincing yea upon points
yen care nothing about. William Tell
may have shot the apple of his sons
hcsd, or he may have shot Gessler, or
there may never have been any Tell, Or
any son, or any apple, Or any Gessier; it
II al a matter OF profound indifference
TO rue. but I win no. soon forgive the
didacsic bore who spoiled the sunset
hour, and the gay little chat was en-
joyiug that evening in Switzerland.
when he felt himself irnpellsd 70 instruct
Us upon both the legend. tho correct his
tory, the view Of most historians and his
own conclusions upon the matter.
Probably everybody who reads this
ard who has travelled much will be able
TO add 70 this brief list of public nui-
sances others more or less common. and
even these who have seldom been away
from home will have their own pet
nuisaaces 10 fall back upon.
Among tie minor grievances which all
of us have experienced both At home and
abroad | count fans aud big mats. OF
course both ere proper in proper places.
and one who hEs seen as much Of Spanish
scc;rty ana fads it rs agreeable ~ do
muss have ,ssnirei nsora shsn once the
grscsNgs ann Significant ne taose' ladies
snakAuf fms. and also The FAIRS ilncm-
felves, some II them perfect visiorss Of
t~suty. richne-s ana dainsy elegance.
Eus sp,risis wcfnaiTs fan b. never
e5trrsive altscogh !. il very sdovious. IS