Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1892-10-14
Mr.. AND MRS. eowsER.


Door Screen.
me other morning asked Mr.. Bower Il IL
wouldn't send up carpenter to hang tho
screen door to the kitchen. and. after 4 me-
ment's thought, be replied.
I'm IN no hurry this morning and I'll hang
1t myself
know"
swell, what 81 itf'
Gan you your
III can't want to b knocked on the
head for an idiot I've put on more door and
gate springs than you've got hairs in your
head"
He got the door down from the loft, and
aiber running up and down and backwards
and forwards for half an hour his assortment
Of tools consisted Of two 81 vs.. an aueur. Z
GRACE and bit, a plane, screw driver and
screws, q square. compass, inter box and Z
tape line.
Does It require all those tools to hang a
screen door, queried
~ may and it may not, he replied
I. Can assist you in any wayr'
Can you assist mel Mrx Bowser. you
tax as y you didn't regard me as half baked
"hen want your valuable assistance III
send you word on postal cardr'
retired In good order and remained out Of
SIGHT twenty minutes When returned be
had the door on and seemed very well satis-
fed
you'll have to make slight change in
that, Nj. Bowser.n
"HowC
you've hung 1t top to bottom
4 have. ehi I'll bet you 80, 600 900 to Z
cent haven't
Well, look at the knob and the catch and
holdings on the pamela
he was fairly beaten, and be realized it,
but instead Of acknowledging the corn be
looked at it for a moment and then quietly
said:
Il slipped it on that way to zee Il you
would notice It, but you'd have let it pass II
hadn't called your attention to itr'
In the course Of half an hour he made the
change and was putting on the spring when
came back. He had never put q spring On
door In his life, and it would not have de-
tacted from his dignity to ask my advica,
but he would have died first. He measured
for it and began to bore hole for the screen,
After he bad worked for two or three min
utes asked:
Mr.. Bowser. which way are you turning
that gimletr'
What do you meanr' be demanded, as be
stopped work
You have been turning to the Left
"Of course ! havei Whoever heard Of
turning boring tool any other wayrn
Il have. You may work all day that
way and not accomplish anything. That
gimlet and all other gimlets turn to the
right"
''They do, chi What smart wife havel
You had better deliver a series of lectures on
mechanism
"Will you turn to the right"
mo, maiami''
He bored and bored, determined not to
give in, and at length pushed him aside,
and turned the gimlet to the right and had
it into the wood in no time
Didn't tell you 50, Mr.. BowserF'
well, the man who made that gimlet de-
serves state prisonI It's the first one | ever
saw that turned to the right. and | had seen
millions of them before you were born"
Can you put the spring on alonef'
Mrs. Bowser." he answered, after glaring
at me in a chilled steel way for half a min
ute, perhaps ought to be in the idiot asy-
lum, and perhaps do know enough to come
in when it rains You will oblige me very
much by going into the house and knocking
that squalling young 'un on the headn
1t was half an hour before dared make
an excuse to get out again BY that time
Mr.. Bowser had the spring on, but the door
stood open instead of shut He was standing
in deep study.
81 know what ails it, Mr. Bowser.n
"How shrewd.n
when you frightened the spring up you
turned it to the right That throws the door
open. Ii you'll tighten to the left, the door
will spring Shut
He sat down on the steps and looked at me
with twelve different shades of irony and sar-
casm in his expression, and finally deigned to
reply:
Where did you learn all you known
"Will you fix that spring as tell your
mo, ma'am, won'ti I've been looking it
over, and know where the trouble is LISA
spring for a left hand door ! should have
seen it at the outset if you hadn't been both
ering around"
u can make that spring work on this door,
Mrs Bowser, | wouldn't have your con-
ceit for no money. No wonder you haven't
single friend in this neighborhood-n
Il have all want, and can fix that spring
in two minutes"
"Neverl You simply want an opportunity
to break it. You'd tear the whole kitchen
down for the sake of carrying your point
Go in and maui that bowling baby some
more"
grabbed the wrench from his hands, loos-
ened the spring and then turned it the other
way, and loi the door shut and was held stiff
in its place, as was designed
''Therel Mr.. Bowsern
There what"
1.-THE spring shuts the door,
II don't see it.
"But lookl Did you ever see door work
nicerg"
at doesn't work at ALL
"But seel'
II see ruined door, just as l expected to
see, and now must get an entire new screen,
Mrs. Bowser, have borne from you until the
limit is about reached. Don't provoke me to
desperation. Husbands rendered desperate
by persistent and malicious nagging have
been known to arise at midnight and wipe out
the whole family !n-Detroit Free Press.