Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-01-21

"You did not attend BIogster's fc-
neraIY'
"No," said the absent-ninded man. II
was 30 busy. III go TO his next one, sure,
busy or not. Indianapolis journal.
THE FLOWERS OF THE FAMILY.
The youth was most prudent and careful
In making choice of a wife,
So he married "The Flower of the Fam
lily"
And she is the thorn Of his life.
IRISH PUNs.
Charles Lamb made some famous
puns, and his mantle seems TO have fallen
upon bis namesake, Charles Lamb
Kenney.
The popular journalist was dining at
the house of friend, and by chance
swallowed bit of cork with his wine,
which gave him q severe coughing fit.
Take care, my friend, said his next
neighbor, with very brilliant attempt at
witticism, "thats not the way to Cork"
"No," gasped the. sufferer. otis the
way to kill Kenney. = London Truth.
MONEY EASILY EARNED.
what? Another new dre s." said
married man to his better half, as the
parcelwas opened.
Don't distress yourself" she replied.
81 paid for this out of my own pocket.
'sOh, indeed But where did you get
the money from?"
II sold your overcoat," was the cool
reply.
MRS. scRINP's GARDENING.
Old Friend-Did you have much of a
garden this year?
Mr.. Scrimp (of Scrimpville)-No; 1t
didn't amount 70 much. In the spring l
gave grand garden digging tournament,
the young men who dug the most to have
the pick of the girls for the evening, and
it worked well, butt cost me most two
dollars for refreshments. Then had
planting bee, and that wasn't so expen-
sive, only the planting wasn't half done.
Later on i tried TO get up wedding
festival, but somehow the young folks
sort o. lost interest, and gave up gar
dening in disgust New York Weekly.
SUITABLE FOR THE OCCASION.
"Chicago won't be satisfied with trac-
ton cars during the celebration of '93,
remarked the Snake Editor.
won't eh? Hadn't heard of that, re-
piled the Horse Editor.
"No; she will adopt the Colum bus.
-[Pittsburg Chroncle-Telegraph.
THE REASON.
"NWhy is the road to destruction broad,
papaS"
at has to be, my son, to accommodate
the travel"
THE BLIGHrED YOUTH.
paced the floor in anguish wild,
Or sat in deep detection;
felt extremely sad and riled,
had had my first rejection.
went to bed and groaned oil night,
To die my aim was steady!
But fell asleep at broad daylight.
And slept till lunch was ready.
KNEW THE MEN.
Salcsgirl-I wish to resign my place.
I'm going to be married to MIR. Clipper,
of the ribbon counter.
Manager-My dear child, that is no
reason for stopping work. Keep your
place.
Salesgirl "a close observer)-It won't
do. I'm afraid if don't knock off and
do nothing, he will.-lGood News.
WARN ENOUGH.
New Boarder (shivering)-The house
seems very cold, madam.
Mrs. Slimdiet-Does it? Why, I'm as
hot as fire.
"Hum Pardon me, but why does the
end of your nose look so blueY"
"0h! that comes from my aristocratic
ancestry. GOOD News.
SMART HUSBAND.
Mr.. De Fashion--The paper says
sealers are disappointed at the low prices
obtained for skins in London this sea-
son.
Mrs. De Fashion-That's splendid!
You know need new
Mr.. De Fashion-The paper says the
furs are very cheap, dirt cheap.
Mrs. De Fashion never did care
much for seal-fur. It's too warm.
AFTER THE BALL.
She-Has papa asked you about your
income? --n
He-Yes.
She-And you told him that little fib
about the large salary?
He-Yes.
She-I'm so glad.
He-Well, Pm sorry. He borrowed
$50 from me on the spot.
The Portland Vase.
The Portland Vase was found in the
Sixteenth century inclosed in marble
sarcophagus, in the sepulchral chamber
| na lIod Mnnta dol GRIMM on the rnnd from