The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1892-01-28
BUSY DAY.
CALL TOMORROW.
M Erit.

And when 1 do call tomorrow the sign
reads just the same. | am especially de-
sirous of cultivating the acquaintance of
a capitalist or two, with means. / find
plenty Of other kinds, but what l need is
some money, or l6-carat influence, fully
1natured, as am the originator OF a rev.
olution. in the elemental department of
this country. The fact is, / have an OPP
ton on some mountains in Northern Cal
ifornia which are composed chiefly of
iron, Surcharged with electricity III its
natural state. There is a regular lake of
it. So much that no one can get near it.
The miners up there can't wear boots
with nails mot even toe-nailS), nor use
anything made Of iron or steel, for fear of
being galvanized or struck by volts,
ohms or currents and become electro
cuted. Now, what / want Is to tap this
unmeasured reservoir of blue lightning,
and furnish the world and part Of Edi-
son with cheap electricity. [ want to
form stock company, JOinted or other
wise, to lay suitable cable and turn
on this natural battery and light things
up.
There are unlimited possibilities
(Which go with the option). We could
run up a tower on Mount Diablo, connect
cur cable and light up the Pacific Slope
merely as an advertisement, and without
struggle, to say nothing about power,
electric railroads and squiedromotorS for
air-ships and small affairs generally
Then there's the weather. Atmospheric
affairs are regulated. / may say. abso-
Iutely by electricity or electric currents,
with the exception, perhaps, of cyclones,
which there would be no call for.
We could fix up weather and keep a
stock OF it on hand subject to order. It
wouldn't make any difference TO us
whether you wanted weather all at once,
or only little at time II Won didn't
want any weather, you would have to pay
Just the same, or we would give you some
for nothing. If the Government, and the
papers, and weather prophets generally,
didn't subscribe to our weather bureau
we could close out the signal service and
have the entire corps in an asylum in
side of forty eight hours.
Now, this is a brilliant kind of an en-
terpriSe, but it is or would be- tar-reach-
ing in its effects-there's no end to its
possibilities. That's what's the matter
with ii. All the capitalists, who have
capital, are interested in something that
would be injured; they've got bonds in
gas, electric-light, water power and rail
roads, and are interested in having free
weather.
l want to see rich banker, for few
moments, who has nothing on hand
but capital-no other qualification is
better. 1 can tell him all about every
thing.
Nothing can be done with people who
want to talk all the time, and this country
is full of them. If the energy wasted
every year in this oral exercise could be
enticed into proper channels and stored
away into reservoirs of some sort we
would be supplied with the nearest APP
proach to perpetual motion and never
falling power. We could do away with
steam, electricity and Kelly motors,
while happiness would be within our
grasp. If you ever belonged to deaf
and dumb club you will remember how
quietly and peacefully you got along, and
how seldom you heard an angry word or
swore at one another.
| dig UP most of my trouble where I
find people who are addicted to talking.
Whenever | try to sell any stock in a new
deal of any kind people talk back, ask
questions, or try to sell me something
and this leads To disputes and duels. Ii I
am comforting with a man who is fortu-
nately deaf and dumb | show him my
proposition on paper, and he produces his
pocket book without a word if there is
money in it we divide; if not, he goes on
his way rejoicing and / have time to in
terview other people.
The most quiet and gentlemanly oppo-
nent | ever had in an argument was deaf
and speeches., and ! have never been
able to get anyone TO agree with me and
enter fully into my view of things since.
While women are reputed to be reticent
ana sometimes nOn-commlttal on sub
jects, | have observed that they can talk
with surprising velocity, and that they
evince more endurance than they are
credited with, by casual observers, VINO
may happen TO be deaf [ once attained
49,,
though II was several rows back and next
the skylight, in the gallery, / inferred
distinctly that great deal OF business
was transacted orally, for l could hear it
going on. \ friend of mine, who has one
in his family mot a convention, you
know, says she can talk without percept-
ible effort or hesitation upon the least
intimation.
To go down into statistics, with a
lantern, we may find there are some
seventy-fve million people in this conn
try, and If we allow for each individual
an expenditure of only two-horse power
for talking purposes, per annum, we
have one hundred and fifty million horse
power! 1t is safe to announce that about
one hundred millions OF this enormous
energy IS dead waste, or worse and we
could easily and thankfully do without
il; and ii we had it under reasonable con-
troll we could retire from business, revel
in wealth, and give somebody else a
chance.
IN my opinion, this is the only short,
airline route to the millennium. / will
apply for patent on this idea, or PEN
sion, and if don't get one or the other
III trade brains with an ostrich, and
emigrate to Sahara, whore I can utilize
my talents-if can find a bird that likes
this country and aspires to intellectually.
My intentions We're honorable when /
picked up this subject about people talk
I l. 1 a.,
have never got fair chance at a subject
before that l couldn't do up in neat
package and tie string around it, but /
tind this is very prolific theme, and
tends to loquacity and garrulity-a
royal road to nowhere in particular, IN
iess to an insane asylum. Why asylums