davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

Can you prove that :" queried the
chief
sWhy. yes-that is-Eell"-
the now thoroughly astounded man.
New light was thrown on a thousand
little circumstances of Uncle Georges
visit and actions
q tell you,H continued the detective
pityingiy; "fhis man is Louis Rebsteise,
one Of the sharpest confidence men in
the country, who makesa business Of this
sort Of work. He has been missing for
some time, and 1 suppose he has been
cut west, where he probably met the
real Uncle George and learned enough
Of your family history to play has little
game. If you search your house you
viii probably find that all your silver
ware, jewelry and money are gone, or at
last as much Of them as one man can
carry"
The chiefs surmise was correct Ine
choice old family plate. Mrs. Leslie's
iewelry and two hundred dollars which
Mr.. Leslie had taken in the day before
after banking hours-all were gone loss
about eight hundred dollars
In their place was little note pinned
on one pillow of the bed lately occupied
BY the departed thread:
Unjust be of. Have enjoyed myself
hugely. Sorry I can't leave you my
vast fortune. No, Bessie, ] am afraid
won't furnish your house from garret to
cellar this year, if you did Try to keep on
the right side of your horrid looking
old Uncle George.
srp = CD -
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

"Winter pretty cold?"
"Winter? Don't have any winter here
stranger"
Flows ihat?7
@Only have three seasons, spring, sum
mer and early fall"
He was Dakota pioneer and lived as
be said, @fty miles from any place"
'What do you do for doctor when
you're sick ?"
"Never get sick"
"But you can't helpit sometimes can
your"
Certainly. 'Taint possible. We won't
get sick and there's no two ways about
II"
'HOw far is it to your nearest neigh
boris ~
"Fifty miles"
"You don't have much society, then,
do your
@Don't need it. There's five Of US
mother n me nd the kids. That's socie-
ty enough, amt 2"
"HoR far do you go to church ?"
''Have It right in the shack every Sun
day. Got an organette, Joe has, and he
turns a crank and grinds out any hymn
you ever heard ofjust as nice as you
please. Then Marthy and the rest Of us
sing, then read something from the
Bible, then We sing again an pray-an'
church is out"
There was something pathetic in this
and it went to my heart.
How about crops ?"
They're big, tell ye-that is, when
we get 'em. Three years ago had ev-
cry promise Of a splendid crop. Had
lots Of snow that underground was
plenty wet an the wheat was lookin'
fine when ali at once we had a hot south
wind that burnt eyerythin' up slick an
clean"
"And the next year ?"
Things looked Just as promisin'.
Wheat was waist high, yaller as gold,
and was goin' to cut in few days,
when along came hailstorm and beat
the whole field down"
Then the next year? ?"
"Got nipped by the frost"
"And the next?"
That's this year, stranger. and just
look at the wheat around you. Nothing
could be finer than the outlook. Guess
I'll have a good crop this year, but if 1
don't
He paused.
"Well?"
"Well, if I don't" he said with a quiet
smile. IN mortgage my horse to get
seed and try again. It'll be hard pinch
in, but l didn't have anything when
came here and III stick to the country
as long as 1 can live in it. a man can't
have hard luck always, you know.
Things are bound to turn. It's long
lane that hasn't a crook somewhere"
I WTung his hand warmly and rode
aYay.-DctrOd Free Pres.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
W. S. Bell & Co.
Eminent Facts.

The question is often asked and scarcely
eyer answered, why whiskey made now is
not as pure and reliable as it was forty years
ago. 1t is never the less a fact that it is
made purer and better to-day than at that
time. With the improved methods fusil
oil and other impurities are entirely elimina-
ted. A sworn statement as TO the purity,
age and quality of the whiskey sold is fur
nished by one dealer who advertises full
quarts, six year old pure Penn'a Rye, al
Sl-OO per quart, or six quarts for 500. Sill
yer Age $50 per quart. Duquesne sl.25
per quart. Port, Sherry, Sweet California
Wines at SOC A complete catalogue and
price list of all foreign and domestic liquors
mailed on application by
MAX KLEIN,
50 Federal St., Allegheny, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
A Failure At The Fails.

We were within twenty miles Of
Niagara Falls when the man occupying
the third seat ahead with his wife came
hack TO ne to ask
stranger, have you ever been at the
falls to look around any?"
"Yes; several times"
@Wuth the money. is it?'
i think So"
There's place there they call Pros
pect Point, hear?"
@Yes.7
aIt's right down where the water boils
over the falls ?'
sYes, sir"
s'Wall, look here, he continued, as he
dropped his voice almost TO a whisper,
''is it true that if anyone stands there for
few minutes looking at the water he
feels that he must jump over?"
at effects some people that way, I
believe"
aDOes it effect woman folks the same
as men ?"
@Very likely"
at would effect a woman of fifty
wouldn't it?"
q should think So"
$50 should I. That's all, and l am
much obliged"
He rejoined his wife, who appeared TO
be about ffty years old, and We got off
together at the falls.
Late in the afternoon 1 met the man
alone in the park, and after some general
conversation ! asked how the view from
the point had affected his wife.
at was dead failure" he whispered,
as he looked around to see of anyone
else was within hearing.
How do you mean ?"
"She stood right up there as stiff as
poker for more than an hour and watch
ed that boiling and never jumped nor
wanted to jump"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Wanted it to be Gentle.

A man who had been arraigned on the
charge Of stealing a sheep was SO sensi-
tiveness to keep him from breaking down
under his heavy load Of humiliation.
"Oh, judge" he pleaded; "please be
gentle with me. can't stand this aw-
ful depression"
That may be-" the judge replied, "but
didn't yousteal that sheep?"
"oh, yes, judge, but beg you to make
my sentence appear as gentle as possible.
I am great believer in appearances"
q viii try to favor you" said the Judge.
Instead Of sentencing you for stealing a
sheep, will sentence you for stealing a
lamb"
"Oh, thank you, judge; but now as to
the length Of the term-how about that
'Just the same for q lamb as for a
fifteen-year-old ram, but the lamb SEN
tence, you see, has a gentler appear
ance.'
"0h, thank you, judge" he faltered,
and he smiled family; still there was
something about the sentence that did
not please him.-ArkGnsalg TrdUeler.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Didn't Like the Brand.

He shufiled his cow-skin boots along
under himself into jewelry store on
Woodward avenue, and leaned up against
the show case.
Got any finger rings?" he inquired of
the clerk.
Plenty of them" said the clerk.
What kind ?"
''Somethin' fittin' fer a gal"
con, a young lady in the case, Ell p"
queried the clerk.
no; she's wilder" explained the
customer, 'but the same sort Of ring
viii do, won't it ?"
q presume so; what kind do you
wantP7
4One ofthem sign rings"
"Sign rings" asked the clerk, do
you mean seal rings?7
"No, sign rings" insisted the man
sign the gals going to get spliced."
"Oh, you want an engagement ring g?T
exclaimed the clerk, as the light broke
in on him.
That's it. What's the tax?7
want something pretty nice, don't
you?
You amt got nothin' in your shop
too nice fer that gal, mister. What's the
hggers on your best 2'
"one thousand dollars" said the clerk,
as easily and cody as if it had been
thousand cents.
The customer fell up against the show
case.
"A thOusanddollars! he fairly yelled.
"Why, the widows's farm amt wuth that
much"
Il suppose not admitted the clerk:
diamonds cost more than dirt, You
know"
SIS it a diamOnd2" inquired the Gus
toner, catching on.
Certainly it is" said the clerk, "what
did you think it vas"
"Well, ] didn't know but what it was
house and lot on Woodland avenoo."
1t isn't; it's solitaire diamond"
"Oh, it's solitaire diamond, is It ?"
higgle the man. @Well, that brand grows
too big for me. l suppose the dang things
As big as pun kin, and don't want il
Say, hain't you got something as big as a
sooseberry fer four dollars and a half?"
The clerk couldn't accommodate him
and halfhour later he was seen max
ng deal with a street fakir-Dssnoa
Free Pres.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
''smithy" and the Vassar Girl.


When the boys at our table noticed
strange young lady enter the room the
other evening at dinner there was gen.
eral inquiry as to the new comer's iden-
tity.
She was tall and graceful, with clear
cut features, expressive eyesand a mouth
and chin whose firm lines denoted force
Of character. Her hair was q light gold
en- brown, and altogether the young lady
excited no small degree of curiosity.
"Tell you what, boys" observed
Smithy, @she'sa regular hummer. You
want to watch yourselves, too, for that's
just about my style, see? and I'm going
to make play for an introduce"
I may mention here that the scene re-
ferred to occurred in the dining room of
a fashionable private hotel up town. Mr.
Smith, popularly known as 'Smithy," is
a general favorite among the other board
ers there, particularly with the lady
guests. His distinguishing characterist-
les are good clothes, an exalted opinion
ofhimself and an elaborate knowledge
Of slang.
Miss Ray, the new guest, was introduc-
ed TO Smithy that evening. After an
hours conversation with her Smithy re-
tired to the smoking room, and, after
Lighting cigar, casually remarked that
'This here's queer world anyhow"
What the matter, Smithy?r l ask
ed; you're not in love already ?"
@ln love Well, guess not. Say, that
girl in the parlor is q walking dictionary.
Just tackle her once and she'll paralyze
you-that's all"
"Tell me all about it" said 1.
"Well, it was just this way. She ask
ed me if 1 believed in sublineal con-
sciousness. 1 told her that couldn't
call that hand and suggested making it a
jact pot But she didn't appear 70 catch
on, and that made me tired.
Then she just wade1 in. Wow but
IL larry shoWered awbreakers for the
next half hour. Shes graduate of Vas
sar college, she told me, and, so help me
Bob, that was the only part of her con-
versation could understand.
"Most people, she said, hold ignor-
ance hidden in the interstices of their
net Of learning Then, among other
things, she asked me ifI believed that
simplicity is the eoncomitant of genius
and what | thought about elective afIini- |
ties Ofcourse all could do was to pass
out every hand. told her, though, that
I'd look these matters up and let her
know. But say, I've got headache, 1 |
have"
@Whaf did you say when you left
herr" ! asked.
"Oh, 1 just remarked that as this was a |
cash game and as had run out of chips |
I'd see her later when l was fixed. Say.
what's the meaning of rachydernatous? |
And-gee, but my hea aches"
Then Smithy relspsed into thoughtful
nesS-Ne,r T0rE Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
A Flag Made of UndershIrts.

Perhaps the most interesting war relic
IN Maine is Union flag made from the
undershirts Of the prisoners at Salisbury
prison. The prisoners had set a day
upon which they intended TO rise and
overPoEer the guards. The flag was TO
be used asa rallying signal But before
the day arrived orders came for them to
be exchanged. The flag was brought
home by Lieutenant George B. Kennis.
ton, Of BoOthbay, member Of the Fifth
Maine, whose property the Gag now is.-
BgRgOr Commercial.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

For many years Mr.. B. F. Thompson,
of Des Meines. Iowa, was severely affiict-
ed with chronic diarrhel. He says: "At
times it was very severe; 50 much so that
/ feared it would end my life. About
seven years ago l chanced to procure a
bottle Of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhel remedy. It gave me
prompt relief, and believe cured me
permanently, as l noweat or drink with
out harm anything please. have also
used it in my family with the best re-
sults."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

Capt w. A. Abbot, who has long been
with Messrs- Percival and Hatton, Real
Estate and Insurance Brokers. Des
Moines, Iowa, and is one of the best
known and most respected business men
in that city, says: ~I can testify to the
good qualities Of Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy. Having used it in my family
for the past eight years l can safely say
it has no equal for either colds or Group"
p and 50 cent bottles for sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

have been 4 sufferer from catarrh 70
years. Having tried a number of reme-
dies advertised as sure cures" without
obtaining any relief, 1 had resolved new
er to take any other patent medicines,
when friend advised me TO try Ely's
Cream Balm. did so with great reluct-
anee, but can now testify that after using
II for six weeks believe myself cured.
1t is most agreeable remedy-an inval-
liable balm.-Joseph Stewart, 624 Grand
Avenue, Brooklyn.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Specimen Cases.

S. Fl. Clifford, New Cassel, Wis, was
troubled with Neuralgia and Rheuma-
tism, his Stomach was disordered, his
Liver was affected to an alarming degree.
appetite fell away, and he was terribly
reduced in flesh and strength. Three
bottles Of Electric Bitters cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Harrisburg, H.,
had running sore on his leg of eight
years standing. Used three bottles Of
Electric Bittersand seven boxes Of Buck
lens Arniea Salve, and his leg is sound
and well.
John Speaker, Catawba, o., had five
large Fever sores on his leg, doctors said
he was incurable. One bottle Electric
Bitters and one box Bucklen's Arnica
Salve cured him entirely. Sold at ]. n.
Snyder's drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

Stern Parent-I tell you what it is
Maria; I'm tired of seeing that young
fellow coming here tw: or three even
ings week. 1 think shall have to sill
down on him.
Maria-I wouldn't, pa; 'twould be of
no use; I've done it myself several times
and / rather think he likes it.
do have to stick this stamp on my.
self" asked dude of the clerk at the
post Office.
"Oh, no." replied the clerk. "You
couldn't go in the mail bags, and besides,
that is a letter stamp, and you are not
frst-class mail matter"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Then the Son Was squelched.

A Harlem boy came from school very
much excited and told his father that all
human beings were descended from the
apes, which made the old man so mad
that he replied angrily:
''That may be the case with you, but
it amt with me; can tell you that now
my son.
And the boy didn't say anything, but
when his mother came home he told her
about il.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
The Price of oaths.

LEBANON, Pa, Aug. .17.-Theexact measure
ment of an oath, both in money and punish
ment, was taken to-day. John y Sattazahn n
was heard TO utter nine separate and distinct
oaths, mot cuss words, but big oaths," 4" as
the prosecutor put it. Alderman Miller fg-
ured cut that the community had been
damaged S7.67 worth by the prisoners
utteranoes, or at the rate of a fraction less
than S5i cents for each swear. Sattazahn
oould't produce the money, and ne was sent
to Jail for II days, or at the rate of29l hours
imprisonment for each offense.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
EpIcurean Morseis.

The Eskimos are fond of eggs not yet
Matched, but about 10 be.
The value of the oysters consumed in
London yearly is about SS.0OO.0OO.
Snails we're highly esteemed by the
Romans, and in the Sixteenth century
the Capuchins of Freyburg possessed the
art Of ffattening them.
The gastronomie law that oysters
should not be eaten in the months with
out an "r" in them was laid down by q
person named Butler nearly 800 years
ago.
The use Of horsefesh as an article of
food has made great progress in Paris,
where about 900 horses per week are
said to be slaughtered, the animals even
being imported for that purpose. The
snail is becoming another fashionable
article of diet in France.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Bucklen,s Arnica SaIve.

The best Salve inthe world for ca IS,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
CURED. 1t is guaranteed 20 give perfect
satisfaction, Or money refunded. Price
25 cents per box. For sale by ]. n Sny-
der.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
A Cure for Paralysis.

Frank Cornelius, OF Purcell, Ind. Ter,
says: induced Mr.. Pinson, whose wife
had paralysis in the face, to buy a bottle
Of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. To their
great surprise before the bottle had all
been used she was great deal better.
Her face had been drawn to one side /;
but the Pain Balm relieved all pain and
soreness and the mouth assumed its nat
ural shape" It is also a certain cure for
rheumatism, lame back, sprains, SWELL
ings and lameness. so cent bottles for
sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Rainmakers FAN.

GROVE, KAN, Aug. s.-The Goodland
Artificial Rain Company, which contracted
to produce an inch OF rain in four days over
an area Of 25 square miles packed up their
outfit and stole away this afternoon. Their
time expired to-day and not cloud has
been seen in the sky during all the time of
their operations
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
Now TryThis.

1t win cost you nothing and will sure
ly do you good, if you have a Cough,
Cold, or any trouble with Throat, Chest
or Lungs. DR.. Kings Sew Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Colds is guar
anteed to give relief, or money will be
paid back. Sufferers from La Grippe
found it Just the thing and under its use
had speedy and perfect recovery. Try
a sample bottle at our expense and learn
for yourself just how good a thing it is.
Trial bottles free at ]. n. Snyder's Drug
store; large size Soc and 81.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

Girls should look into the character of
their sweethearts- Many little traits will
often make il plain. If he economical v
puts out the light in the parlor when
visiting her that Is a sign he is going to
be close.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
A Sure Thing.

Bob Taylor Do you want to know how
to win at horse racing?
Jack Potter-Certainly
Bob Taylor-Play the horses that l
don't.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

"Maude, 1 am going to tell you
something"
Yes, dear"
Now that Pm engaged to the old
thing, he wants the ceremony TO take
place at once. Idon't know what in the
world to do"
Marry him as soon as you can, dar-
ling. His relatives will have him dcclar-
ed insane and spoil it all, if you're not
careful"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
ChamberIain's Eye and Skin
Ointment.

A certain cure for Chronic Sore Eyes,
letter, Salt Rheum, scald Head, Old
Chronic Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema, Itch,
Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples and
Piles. 1t is cooling and soothing. Hun
dreds Of cases have been cured by it af-
ter all other treatment had failed. 1t is
put up in 25 and so cent boxes.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

No other Sarsapsrilla has the merit by
which Hoods Sarsaparilla has won such
a firm hold upon the confidence of the
people.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

ARun for de doctor, euickl Helpl
Helpl Dot baby has swallowed a nickel |!
exclaimed Mrs. Sehaumb1rg.
Mine gott you make so much fuss as
if it was twenty five dellar gold piece,
Repecca,r - replied Nose.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
EASTWARD.
CONDENSED TIME TABLES.
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
Somerset and Cambria Branch
NORTHwARD.

NORIHNARD.
Joinsoira Nal Erpress.-Rockwood $50 a. m,
Somerset 4:le. stOyestOwn 4:52, HOOversvilie
SOS. JohnstOwn, 6:l0.
JOlsnstOirn Mad lqress-iOckwoOd i35 & n.
somerset ll.jS, stoyesioWn l2.26 HOoyersville.
l2,s7, Johnstowu $50 p. m.
sJcisu-oirH zccOEaHsodGtiOil-R Roc kwood $40 D. N .
Somerset 6sS p. m, Stoyestown 6.sI q m
HooYersville e:i2 p. m, JohnstOwn 7:s5 p m
Sunday sedati0R-Rockwocd il.s5 a. N.
Somerset, li:5s.
SOUTHWARK.
Naa-Johnstawn rs a m, HooversvilIe s.s1
stoyestown s;i5, Somerset 9.16, lockwood
Erpress-JohnstOwn 2:30 p, n. HooversvilIe 41s
stoyestown 4-So Somerset SOL, lockwood
sanfos O7a-,-JohnstOwn $50 a. n, HooversviIe
Y:l6 a. IN. StoytS.OFn $50 a. m sornerTet
lo;l e. N, lockwood i0.-s a. m
Sunday. sr1uodatioa-somerset sol D. N.
lockwood SIS P m.
@Daily.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
.ENNsYLvANIA RAILROAD.
sCHEDmDE IN EFFECT DC. 50, 1871.
EASTERN STnN1hPn TfMF
WESTWARD.

N'-FI7I17'7I7l7 = n I71I1I u.
Trains arrive and depart from the station at
JohnstOwn as follows
WESTWARD
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07
ADakota Farmers Tale.

sP. S.-Good-by.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-09-07

JAMES B. HOLDERBAUlI, Somerset

Krssnger Kutz Berlin Pa and P J. Corer Son, Megersia
REMEMBER Things done well and care exempt themselves from a
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1892-07-01

A curious illustration OF the important
results often produced in nature by APP
parently insignificant causes is afforded
by the little islands on our Pacific coast,
little west of Los Angeles, CAL, states
the New York Sun. DR.. Gordon Yates
says that sheep have founl the succulent
herbage growing along the shores dainty
eating, and have destroyed most oft. 1t
was these plants, however, that formerly
bound the sand to the beaches, and now
that they are gone the loosened sands,
driven by northwest summer breezes,
has drifted over the islands, already
killed most of the trees and shrubs, and
the islands, in consequence, are rapidly
becoming uninhabitable. As the resi-
dents cannot abolish the wind or the
sand, it may be necessary to Danish the
sheep to save San Miguel, Santa Rosa.
and the other once verdant islands from
complete desolation.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1892-07-01

An interesting instance of the magic
OF the telegraph, an illustration of the
way it can anuihilate space, outrun the
sun and perform mystifying jugglery
with old Times hour glass and with the
calendar, aul an object lesson in every
day science, are afforded in connection
with the execution of the sentence of
Murderer Deeming in Australia on re-
cent Monday. Daeming, says the New
York Sun, was hanged at 1901 A. NJ,
and the news and details OF the execu-
ton were read by the readers of the
daily papers at the early breakfast
table, and even before daybreak that
day.