The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-10-02
THE "ARIZONA KICKER
FINE PRESENT ny THE EDITOR.
Called tho sHicksr" aud Received With the
Widest Enshusissm--Fste ola Man
Who Claimed to Be Canvasser.

TIE FIRE ESGIyE--Some three months
since we announced that we bad ordered
from the manufacturer hand fire engine
rs present 10 this town. Wedid no boast
ing or Dragging but contcnted ourself
with modest announcement. After about
fortnight our esteemed contemporary be-
gan to sneerinSly inquire when that en-
CINE" might be expected, aud every week
since he has had fling of some sort TO
prove his doubts. Saturday last he was
paralyzed at the arrival Of the machine. IL
was drawn over from the railroad station
by eight horses, and no circumstance in
the history Of the town ever created half
the excitement. Our esteemed old hyena
Of contemporary was positively speech
less at the sight. lie rubbed his eyes and
looked and looked again, and the only
sound he could utter was groan OF an
guisb. The engine isnamed "THE KICKER"
and aside from being one Of the handsoni-
est affairs ever turned out Is warranted TO
be regular Niagara falls for cbawing up
water. 1t was run down TO the creek, the
brakes manned by our enthusiastic fellow
citizens, and as q stream of limpid water
described graceful curve through the air
and descended upon the roof OF the Red
Star saloon cheer of pride arose from
thousand Threats. II anything was want
ing to convince our esteemed contemporary
that we are solid in this community he can
no longer doubt. IL there has been any
question In cur own mind that we would
be nominated for the next legislature this
dispels IL. After the squirting exhibition
we were placed on the engine and drawn
through the principal streets of the town
In triumph, and the songs and shouts OF
the populace must have struck the soul OF
our contemporary like fall Of 90 dogs. on
July day.
PERFECTLY CORRECT. afternoon
we were called up by telephone from Gao
tus Corners by our valued friend, Major
Scovill, who stated that they had just hung
man who claimed to be canvasser for
THE KICKER, and wanted TO know il they
had erred in Judgment. We promptly re-
piled that they had not. This paper EN-
ploys no canvassers. Whenever person
trikes a community and claims TO be au-
horized by us the correct thing is TO dis
pose of him first, and then telephone or
telegraph us that he is no more. The major
and those who lent him their cheerful and
enthusiastic assistance have our warmest
thanks for the zeal manifested on our be-
half. We shall not forget it.
GONE HENCE. Monday afternoon we re-
ceived word that james Stowell, of the
Bald Eagle saloon, had been found dead in
his bed, and on fastening to the scene we
discovered the report TO be true While
the coroner's jury returned verdict OF
general collapse of the system we think we
know the true cause OF his sudden taking
off. James was an ambitious man. He
didn't want TO be postmaster, state sena-
tor, poet or u statesman, but he did want
to invent a new and thrilling cocktail
which should be thoroughly identified with
Arizona La fact, he wanted to shine in
the cocktail line as brightly as we do ia
the journalistic. The compound he was
after was TO be known the world over rs
the Arizona cocktail" and to be well
worthy of this great and glorious COM
monwealth To our own knowledge the
deceased has been experimenting for the
last year with whisky, brandy, cognac,
champagne, cider, beer, wines, Quinine,
morphine and various acids and drugs. On
several occasions he has almost hit IL. His
own taste was to be the test, and we think
the collapse was brought about by the
action of so many decoctions on his system.
Either that or he finally struck something
that tickled him to death. He was not an
angel, but he was enterprising and full Of
desire to help bring Arizona to the front,
and it is needless to add that we were one
of the pallbearers at his funeral Wednes-
day afternoon.