davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21
AS L WAS SAYING.

We were sitting out on the piazza. We
always do these summer evenings.
Stories and jokes Carefully rehearsed
before hand) had been told when we
struck n mathematical gait, so to speak
The problem Of the man who bought "A
hat for which he gave a counterfeit $40
bill which was kindly changed by a
friendly neighbor was given, and we all
puzzled our brains trying to find out how
much the wronged halter lost.
Then we listened to the tale of the hen
aud half which could lay an egg and "A
half in a day aud half and were asked
hens could lay in six days. We also
heard the fable of the one hundred cats
which could catch hundred rats in "a
hundred days and wondered how many
cats it would take TO catch one hundred
rats In one day. thought our old vel
low cat, Pinky, could catch one hundred
Chinese turkeys, il rats can be called
that, ia one day, but this was not the cor
rect answer and would not 20.
After disposing of the rats we branched
off into higher mathematics. One of
those on the piazza told OF man with
board containing sixty-four square inches
who had to stop up hole containing six
ty-five square incnes. He did it aud his
lutbuOu WINS tO WO pieces
of paste board were cut into rectangular
figures measuring Sby.5 and S by 3 respect
lively. Two points were measured oil on
the longer side of the first piece
each three inches from opposite corners.
The rectangle was cut dlagonally, thus
dividing IL into two irregular quadrila-
terls OF equal area. The other rectangu-
lar was cut from corner to corner, thus
dividing It into two triangles, these also
OF equal area.
These four pieces could bs put together
TO form a square containing sixty-four
square inches or to form rcctanQler
containing sixty-five square inches. This
is the way the man stopped up the hole
with the board containing sixty four
square inches.
This is all very plausible and there Is n
story To the effect that the problem was
laid before college president wso could
not explain ~. College presidents are not
always infallible.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

THE gist Of Archibald Forbes dis
corning essay on Lincoln i'm the North
american Reriew is that had Lincoln's
expressed opinions prevailed over the
Judgment of his generals the war of the
rebellion would not have lasted more
than half as long. This seems extrava-
giant praise of the martyred President as
military strategist, but Mr.. Forbes
brings forward strong evidence to sup
port his assertions.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21
DIR. TILLINcHAsT,

going about the streets sewing buttons on
mems garments.-Woonsock Reporter.
A precious poor living probably. That
woman or the story Of her started in
New York two years ago or more and
has been travelling over these United
States ever since. She or ii will come
to final rest in the asylum for respect
able, aged, INDECENT myths one of these
days.
A man is in as much danger Of being
struck by lightning in the middle of
ten-acre lot as Of being harmed by the
trolley in Springfield streets. Springfield
Union.
The trolley goes. There may be some
thing better in time, but it's the best so
far.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

DESPITE the protests of the whole
business community the anti-option bill
seems likely to pass the Senate, but the
proposed law in its present shape would
be as impossible of enforcement as some
of the now imperative blue laws of
New England. 1t would require a
special police officer at every cross road
in the country to make the law effect
i've.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

eoxE Democratic ex-candidates are
rushing into print with volumnious ad-
vice abont how TO carry Rhode Island. I"
II these gentlemen really wish TO en-
tighten the public, perhaps they would
% better 10 draw from their ample fund
- >~n>rience. and confne their discuss
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21
CONGRESSMAN DALzELr.,s resolution T.

CONGRESSMAN DALZELL's resolution to
inquire into the losses sustained through
the national banks and also through
State banks, has been drowned at the
bottom of the House calendar. The
memory of the average man, however,
Is sufficiently good to make
such an inquiry quite i'm
necessary. The Democratic advocates
of State bank issues and the repeal Of
the ten per cent. tax on them will be
amply occupied in refuting the facts
presented by the Aldrich report on
wages and expenses of living, without
being compelled to face the results of
their fiat money policy.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

Tine stuffed one hedges on the tariff
and applies a galvanic battery to the
skeleton of the force bill. Does any in
tslhgent man suppose that by such tao
tics the Democracy can win?
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

THE importations of tin in May, 1892.
fell of 4.50o, 900 pounds as compared
with 1891. How's this? We all know
there's no tin made in this country.
Have Uncle Sans folks quit using it?
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

TEE New York Sun says, Perhaps
the managers of the notification meet
ing st Madison Square Garden would
have done well IL they had exercised the
politeness OF inviting Governor Hill to
b present" il is true then that he
wasn't asked. What blunder.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

spread, all the land of the South pecame
the land Of the Philistine ctivalry. So
peace reigned in Warsaw and the Sonth.
And all the MugwumpS washed their
hands aud winked, saying, Plate was the
boss.
TO BE CONTINUED.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

Are you going out or town for the
summer?
Keep your eye on Providence.
Have the NEWS sent TO your ad-
dress. changed as often as desired,
for 90 cents q month.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21
In the State of Rhode island
the NEWS stands second in
circulation, first in influence
and represen tdtive character.
FOR PRESIDENT,
BENJAMIN HARRISON
or INDIANA.
FOE VICE PRESIDENT.
WHITELAW REID
OF NEW YORK.

n is credibly reported that Senator
Blackburn Of Kentucky wears seven
dollar suit. Has he figured out the
tariff '4tax" ne pays on ita
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

FLOWER was there but he didn't bios
som forth in words. His speech was
made when he said Cleveland couldn't
carry New York IL nominated.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

THKRE Is no occasion for alarm over
the outbreak Of smallpox on Block
hland. The disease is not half so much
TO be dreaded as typhoid fever which
has its scores and hundreds Of victims
in this State yearly and no panic
thought of.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

ALL the circuses are held in Madison
Square Garden. AT last nights per-
formance the elephant and the tiger lay
down in beautiful harmony.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21
the workingmen fully understand, and
as Mr.. Rudyard Kipling would say, is
another story.
THE NOTIFICATION MEETING.

AhS NVASEACAIlON mEEIlNos
Considering the circumstances under
which Cleveland was nominated at Chi.
cago. the mass meeting In Madison
Square Garden last night at which q
struggling mob overheated itself with
yells. was probably good politics. Some
thing that could be construed as evil
dence that New York would support the
candidate was imperatively necessary,
and the tiger has obediently suffered it.
self to be exhibited with a Cleveland
collar on its neck before the eyes Of the
national Democracy.
So far, so good. An outward appear
ance OF harmony has been presented.
But now how about the issues upon
which votes must be won? Mr.. Cleve-
land made two points in his speech of
acceptance, and two were enough, in
view of their significance. BY one he
turned down the tariff plank OF the
Chicago platform, substituting his own
dishonest straddle; by the other he pat
ted Dana on the head and shrieked in
unison with the Suns Office cat,
ghostly graveyard shrek over the tomb
OF the buried Force" bill.
Consideration of the shrek may be
postponed. But Mr.. Clevelands words
upon the tariff issue must be taken as
the fruit OF some weeks of deep sea med
itations. ours" he said, ais not de-
structive party. We are not at enmity
with the rights of any of our citizens.
All are our countrymen. We are not
recklessly needless of any American in.
terests, nor will we abandon our regard
for them, but, invoking the love of fair
ness and justice which belongs to true
Americanism, and upon which our consti-
tuition rests, we insist that no plan of
tariff legislation shall be tolerated which
has for its object and purpose a forced
contribution from the earnings and in
come OF the mass of our citizens to
swell directly the accumulations Of a
favored few" As plainly as Clevelandes-
que language ever says anything, this
says that the great straddler proposes
to continue straddling. Even as a
Of the Democrats in Congress
have refused to be bound by the silver
plank of the Chicago platform, which was
imposed upon them by their candidate,
so the candidate himself declines to oe
bound by the honest free trade plank
which majority of Democrats forced
upon him. Turn and turn about is fair
play. The party is against the nominee |
'n silver; the nominee is against the
party on the tariff. Here's harmony,
md here's the explanation of the promi-
hence given to the 'Force" bill. An is
'ue must be found even if it's decaying
me. The Sun found it. The NEWS
Dana and hopes this
bright and shining success may pleas
lntly flavor his crow.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

CLEVELAND accepts the nomination a
great weight is lifted from the Demo
cratic mind.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

CLEVELAND is a spectacle for gods and
men in his circus role of tiger tanner.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

IT rs only recently that David Bennett
has found his Washington duties so
pressing.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

The political demagogue leads men
into danger, but he skulks to the rear as
soon as powder begins to burn.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

ion to the question of how not to carry
Rhode Island.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

"If cut Of hardly SIS, ,0oo, 900 under the
billion dollar appropriation mark Is the
best the House Democrats can show for
the session. the less said about IL the bet
ter for them.-Springf Id Republican.
For Democratic paper the Rcpubii-
con Is getting its eyes open this summer
quite intelligently.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

A woman In Texas mskss . living by
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-21

This Is all very plausible aud there is a
story To the effect that the problem was
laid before college president wso could
not explain ~. College presidents are not
always infallible.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
Utah and Divorce.

Idaho papers are commenting on the
list OF divorce cases in Utah since Jan
uary, 1872, as published in the SALT LAKE
HERALD. The list is a long one, but not
SO long as some that might be made If the
facts were brought out in other places.
One exchange says: "From the present
outlook, ii the district court keeps up its
work, the Mormons will be compelled to
go back to polygamy or there will be no
married people left.
This carries two mistakes. One is that
these divorces are all Mormon cases, the
other is that hundred and fifty cases in
year out of population of go, 600 is so
excessive that matrimony is in danger.
We have had great influx OF population
for a few years last past, and the
greater proportion Of these cases are
among the non-Mormon incomers. There
are lots of married people in Utah as
happily welded as folks anywhere, and
there is not the slightest prospect of any
immediate return TO polygamy. We
think it necessary to emphasize the latter
statement lest some of our contemporaries
at distance might think Utah would be
a good place for them.
Utah has too many divorces, but we
think she is not ahead of surrounding
states in this respect, and is far in the
rear of many further east. 1t is not pos
sible under the existing statutes for the
bogus business to be carried on here.
Residence, bona fida, is required for at
least a year and there are definite statu-
tory causes under which alone divorce
can be granted; the district courts alone
having jurisdiction. Our friends else
where need have no fears for Utah on that
score or any other.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

form OF currency, but it has little or no
intrinsic worth. The stamp OF the gov :
eminent will not change its real value,
it will only cause it to represent some
thing that is OF value. If there is nothing
behind it worth as much as it is issued to
represent, its fictitious character will
soon become apparent and its value will
decline in proportion to the lack of the
backing. Paper as money is only a
promise to pay money.
| Anything that is rare or becomes valu-
able for some intrinsic quality that
causes it to be generally sought after,
can be used as actual money, and
paper redeemable in that arti-
Gle or product can be made TO
represent it. The fat of any govern
ment on earth cannot make paper any
thing more than that for any length of
time. 1t has been tried and the result
has been failure, as it must always be, in
the very nature of things
Gold and silver have been considered
valuable by man from time immemorial
and have been used as money on that ac
count. and because they are each easily
moulded into coins as measures of values
and are enduring and in many ways
adapted to that purpose. Those metals
would be valuable if there was no statu-
tory law that regulated their coinage and
no government existing. To coin money
is one of the functions of government. it
is true. But governments cannot create
money out of intrinsically worthless
materials. Fiat money is fat absurdity.
There might be something else besides
gold or silver that would be regarded as
valuable by common consent. and prom
ises to pay in it might be made by gov
eminent and they would pass current
while redeemable in the valuable thing
and it remained of value. But those two
''precious metals" have stood the test of
time and the changes that have come upon
nations and forms of government, and
have retained their intrinsic worth with
but few fluctuations, and are universally
recognized as the fttest things for money
in the world.
The experience OF ages cannot be set
aside as worthless. And that shows that
both those metals are needed for use as
money that the worlds business may be
properly transacted. Paper must only be
issued as convertible into one or the other
OF these metals, and if issued to amounts
in excess of that which they call for will
soon become a nuisance instead of bene-
fit. People who think money can be Gre
ated by the stamp of governments, and
that money is only made so by law, have
not sufficiently considered the subject and
have made grand financial mistake.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
Paper AS Money.

It seems that we'll educated and thought
full men still run after the financial
heresy commonly known as the green
back theory. That is to say, that money
is solely q creation of government;''
that the "only money power it has is
given to it and enforced by mans laws
etc.
On this notion all that government
has to do is put a stamp on piece OF
paper or anything else it may select for
the purpose and say this is SO much
money, and there is no end to the creative
powers OF that government and no limit
to the amount of value with which it may
invest any circulating medium. BY set
ting printing presses at work the govern
ment can create as much money as it
pleases and make itself and everybody
else as rich as heart could desire.
All this has been discussed again and
again. Scarcely anything new can be
urged to show the fallacy of the paper
money idea. It has been demonst1a. d
that behind any token or medium used t.
represent values, there must be some
thing that is of equal value in and of
itself. Paper is the most convenient
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
What Cleveland viii Do.

Would it not be just as well for our Re-
publican friends who seem to be SO an
xious to regulate the policy of the new
administration to leave the whole matter
to the incoming authorities? 1t is not
very likely that GROVER CLEVELAND,
who is represented as refusing to be die
tated to by certain influential supporters,
or to make any bargains with them,
would be influenced by his political ad-
versaries.
BY the way, great deal has been said
about Mr.. CLEVELAND and Tammany,
and an endeavor has been made to show
that there has been a break between them
since the election, as there was to make it
appear there was conflict before the
election.
1t seems that there is no misunderstand-
ing at ALL The president-elect has
announced that applications for Office
made prematurely will not be considered
and may do more damage to their caues
than good. He has mind of his own,
has had the experience OF four years in
the management of the affairs of the
country, and will act according to his
own judgement in the light of that ex-
perience. At the same time he will not
fail to hearken to his friends who know
men and their qualifications better than
he does.
Mr.. RICHARD CROKER has been heard
from, too. He says Tammany will not
seek to embarass the new President.
More than that, it viii not ask for any
patronage but will support his admins
tration and acquiesce in his Judgment
whatever appointments may be made,
That sounds like the true Democrat that
the Tammany chief is understood to be,
and is highly satisfactory to the rest of
the party.
GROVER CLEVELAND will no doubt
ssstand by his friends" That is quite
proper. He will also stand by his coun-
try. "The typical American will put
country frst, and the people have conf
dence in his patriotism and frmness and
good common sense. The Republicans
might just as well wait and see what will
be done and omit both their prognostica-
tons and their suggestions.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
Are These Chestnuts?
paired.

Picayune: Tip the waiter if you want hin
to lean over you and be attentive.
Fan: ''Take something with me'' is a
brief but eloquent treat US ON the liquor
question.
Philadelphia Record: 1t is the dyspeptit
astronomer who takes the greatest inter-
est in the milky whey.
Baltimore american: When railroad
man undertakes to remedy a steep grade
he should do his level best.
Washington Star: TIE familiar remarks
on the ''penny for your thoughts line
are now classed as common cents sug-
gestions.
BiRghdneton Leader: A Columbus 20. }
baker fell under train and had both arms
cut off. What will the poor man do in
his hour of knead?
Inter Ocean: Mrs. Dalton DO you
always have good luck with your breads
Mrs. Youngwed-Yes, indeed. Mrs.
Delton-How do you manage it? Mrs
Youngwed-I always buy at the bakery.
Truth: ''Hello, Vanderloin, some Of
your people coming in on the train?''
''Yes, Pm expecting sister of mine. -
'Sister, en-? By birth or refusal?'
Hdrper's BdzGr: Mrs. Fangale-I've ad-
vertised for a servant for a whole week
with no result. Mrs. Cumos-Well, adj
vertised for good-looking help lady,
and had "a to select from the first day.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
A Herald Of the Intant Yanr.

Clip the last thirty years or more from
the century, and the segment will repre-
rent the term of the unbounded popular
ity of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. The
opening of the year 1893 will be signalized
by the appearance of fresh Almanac of
the Bitters, in which the uses, derivation
and action of this world famous medicine
will be lucidly set forth. Everybody
should read it. The calendar and astro-
nomlcal calculations to be found in this
brochure are always astonishingly accu-
rate, and the statistics, illustrations,
humor and other reading matter rich in
interest and full of profit. The Hostetter
company, of Pittsburg, Pa, publish it
themselves. They employ more than
sixty hands in the mechanical work, and
more than eleven months in the year are
consumed in its preparation. 1t can be
obtained, without cost, of all druggists
and country dealers, and is printed in
English, German, French, Welsh, Nor
wegian, Swedish, Holland, Bohemian
and Spanish.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

CITIZENS OF Georgia are agitating the
question of having new constitution to
do away with the leasing of convicts who
now work in competition with free labor.
This is the same question which lately
absorbed attention in Tennessee, and it
win come up wherever the system is in
vogue. Public opinion seems to be con-
centrating on the desirability of the con-
victs being put to work to improve the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27
School Trustees, Contracts.

The HERALD has received the following
from a city in southern Utah:
To the Editor of THE HERALD:
Please answer through your paper the
following: Under the new school law are
the incoming trustees bound by the I'M
expired contracts entered into with teach
ers by the boards now retiring? Believing
the above will be of interest to many Of
the readers of THE HERALD. Yours re-
spectfully, A SUBSCRIBER.
Yes. The contract is entered into by
the school district of which the trustees
are the representatives. The district
abides when the trustees go out, aud all
contracts made by the district continue.
If the trustees were to be viewed as trans
acting business for themselves, or in any
way on their own personality separate
and apart from the district, they would
be individually responsible for contracts
they might have entered into. But the
duty of attending to all business legally
done in the name of the district must de-
volve upon their successors in Office. The
validity of contracts must not be i'm
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

CARL ScHURz will perhaps not receive
or desire an Office at the hands Of Mr..
CLEVELAND, but just the same he will be
held in high regard by the people of the
country who admire pure craftsmanship.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

EX-SENATOR INGALLS, has at all times
shown his willingness to make any sacri
flee for a smart saying. The other night
in lecture he remarked that ''Massa-
chusetts, which had been discovered by
accident, was settled by mistake.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

DEMOCRATS THROUGHOUT the country
are undetermined whether they prefer
JOIN G. CARLISLE in the cabinet or
where he is, in the Senate, and are willing
be should himself make the choice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

PEOPLE AT the east still talk about
joining Utah with Nevada to make a
state. That would mean nothing more
than Utah getting a freckle.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

THERE IS no particular occasion for say
ing it, but it is a fact that the Washing
ton Post is pretty near the best newspaper
that comes to THE HERALD.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

IT IS quite time, as people think, for
the Worlds fair to get down to business.
There is too much wrangling in the man
agement.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

CHICAGO HAD better quit talking about
keeping the Worlds fair open on Sun
days and go to suppressing her thieves
ana robbers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-12-27

ADvIcEs FROM New York are to the
effect that night-caps are coming into
fashion, but the probability is that they
are confined to the male sex.