Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-17

ana VexaLlQns OF laDor trOuDles.--
Picayune.
WITH Patti few thousand dollars
is more or less than "a mere song. p
Boston Courier.
THIS is the season when theIchirop-
odist grows enthusiastic over the corn
crop.-Lowell Courier.
THE founder is a fish that requires
plenty OF seasoning, and even then is
flat.-Philadelphia Record.
THE greatest triumph OF mind Is
when a man knows enough to mind
his own business. -Meriden Repub-
lican.
THERE were several fireflies In my
room last night" what did you do?"
"Why, put them out, of course. -
Philadelphia Record.
MIsTREss-You know how to make
bread, / presume? New Girl-No,
mum. No use learnin' such things
till after 1 gets married.
Mrs. PUNc-TUAL-Your clock is
always on time Pray, how do you
manage it? Mrs. Slopay-Why, my
husband got it that way.-Jewelers'
Weekly.
WATTs-This has been great year
for record breaking. Potts--Hasn't
it though? Nudge paid me 81 be
borrowed, for MISUNDERSTANDING
lis Journal.
SHALL we be engaged" he said to
the seaside girl. "How long do you
raD,oix borooO che aolyaI "a xuaaIy -
Really, Harry, for so short time 10
hardly seems worth while. Wash
ington Star.
"OH, mamma, mamma" yelled
Tommy, as great gust OF wind blew
some sand in his eye. "Come quick;
I've got piece of beach in my eye
Harper's Young People.
SUMNER BoARDER-"Well, I'll be
hanged if there isn't an organ-grind-
er out there playing 'Ta-ra-ra BOOM
de-ay.'" Landlord-"You are mis-
taken. That's one of our mosqui-
toes. "-Yenowine's News.
A RUSSIAN physician uses soothing
musical tones as remedy in nervous
diseases. 1t is safe to say that Wag-
ner is never entered in. his prescrip-
tion book.-St. Paul Globe.
A NEW YORK diver offers to walk
a mile under the sea for purse OF
1000. The bookmakers will soon
be Offering odds on the McGinty
handicap. Washington Post.
FAIR SOPRANO (having finished
her tr.an-"Do you think my voice
will fill the hall?" Grim manager
81 fear it would have just the OPP
posite effect. Boston Courier.
A FRENcHMAN, in telling of a
football match he saw in this
country, said: at was very funny
to see twenty-five men playing with
the ball of the foot. philadelphia
Record.
THEY have begun to put pneumatic
tires on sullSies used In trotting races.
The men who bet on the horses draw
ing these sulkies continued to be
tired in the same old way.-BuffalO
Express.
PRoFEssoR-"Cany you cite a notable
instance in which necessity was the
mother of invention?" Student
Matches were not made until after
smoking became popular. detroit
| Tribune. ,t
WHEN Harry and Lucinda go out
rowing they love to work the same
oar. 1t is so sociable, you know, and
then it reminds them OF the words OF
the poet, 1.-TWO souls with but single
| thwart. Boston Transcript.
SHE-"This is a picture of my
brother. and this is of myself" He
ale does not look like you in the
least" She-"Wcll, you see the pic
lures were not taken by the same
photographer. Texas Siftings.
NEW NURsE-"I'm going 10 leave
when the week is up, num-" Mis-
tress-"Dear me! What's the mat
ter?" New Nurse-"Please, mum,
your children is gettin' the measles
an the other nurses cuts me dead. -
New York Weekly.
"WHAT / like best about fairy
stories," said little Warren, ais papa's
voice. 1 never knew it till the other
day, when papa read to me stupid
story nurse has read to me lots OF
times, and it wasn't stupid bit. -
Harper's Young People.
A TEMPORARY BEREAVEMENT
Jeweler-"These mourning earrings
are very durable and will last long
time" Widow-"Then don't think
1 really want them, unless you are
willing to exchange them for some
other jewelry later on. Texas Sift
ings.
In a recent novel the hero has "a
nose which quivered perpetually
like the wings OF captured bird.
Otherwise he had ~the stern, in.
scrutable repose OF a granite Pha
rOah flaming with the soul OF the
present." Queer folks get into print
Boston Transcript.
LITTLE BoY-Mamma, may have
that big family Bible little while
Fond Mamma-Of course you can, my
pet. Your thoughts are on higher
things, / see. Little Boy-Yes'm
Bridget Ito herself, two hours after.
ward)-Humphl More of that jan
gone. / don't see how that boy
reaches it.-Street s. Smiths Coco