River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-12-15
PITH AND POINT.


of man as following the races because
he never gets ahead of them. Buffalo
Express.
--Marion-"My fiance is very excita-
bic. "When he proposed to me he
acted like one insane" Martha--"Per-
haps he was. dear."-N Y. Herald.
Deserved Smile. -Angel' a-"The
man marry must be handsome, brave
and clever" Tompkins-"Dear mel
How fortunate we have met-"-Travel-
ler's Record.
-Kate-"And so you are married?
Keeping house. I SUPPOSE" Maud
mot exactly. There is lady from
Ireland who keeps the house. but che
allows ms to eat and sleep in it."
The cabin hoy was in the habit of
eating his loaf-bread and leaving the
crusts Mate-"We eat our crusts
here, laddie." Bov-"Weel I'm leav-
ing them tae ye.n-Dundee News.
doctor. is it true that extreme
nervousness will produce nausea?"
Eyes; I once saw ear full of people
throw up their hands when two train
robbers covered them with their pis-
tolls. "-Philadelphia Record
"A Large Subject. LalSer (of
Chieago-'You eastern people find the
Chicago girls foot very satisfactory
subject of discussion. Miss Blocker
THAT'S because it covers the ground.
You see. detroit Free Press.
THAT was quite a little joke of
mine" he said, with enthusiasm. after
he had exerted himself with bon mot.
''Did Won see it?r 'Oh, yes" she an
swered. -wearily. II saw IL last week
in newspaper. Washington Star.
Congratulations Tailor 'Mr.
Overdue. hear that You are about TO
he married to Miss Bullion. ALLOW me
to congratulate you" Overdue Tex
tending his hand)-"Allow me to con-
graduate youl"-Smith, GRAY & Co.'S
Monthly.
The first thing to be done in pre-
paring a recipe for piccalilli is for the
houselseeper to run to "a dictionary and
find out how piccalilli is spelled. In
these days of broad and extensive cul-
ture ''pickled lily" won't go.-Somer-
vile Journal.
|
erature" the eloquent orator shouted:
"Where are the CHANGERS. and Shake
speares. and Millions. and Sponsors. and
Macaulays? Where are they. saw"
And n voice answered sadly from the
gallery: "All deadr'-Tit-B Bits.
Mime. Trapino-"You told me. sir,
that all I had to do was to leave the
tablecloth outside during the night,
and the fruit stains would disappear
Well. | did so last night" ''Ah. then
the stains" moi 1t was, the table,
cloth that Disappeared Intran.
sigeant.
It's this novel thoroughly oriri-
nal?" asked the publisher. eyer. sir. I"
"None of the old character, or situa-
tions?' "Not one" "Well. sir. it can
not succeed. You must think the pub
| tic doesn't know what II has been want
ing all these years. "-Washington Star.
All That Was Lacking. Rapid
/ transit" said a western real estate
boomer proudly. "is all that our town
needs now" Eyes" replied his pros
pective purchaser. "if there was some
means of getting away quickly people
wouldn't be so afraid to come here
/ Des Moines Argonaut
The Young Housewife-"Andt then
want Won to send mp a peck of Irish
potatoes" The Grocer-'fYes, mum. I"
The Young IIousewife-''I myself pre-
fer United States potatoes, but we're
going to have some gentlemen from
Dublin to dinner and want everything
to be in keeping. Chicago News Rec
ord.
-Nellie-I don't believe your broth
pr loves me as much as he SAYS he
does" Fanny-"Oh. I'm sure he doesl
Why. when you were away last sum-
mer he acknowledged to me that he
thought of you twice" Nellie-''Is
that ALP Fanny-"But Won must re-
mem Der what terrible task it is for
him to think at ADHESION News.
The nevitable.-"Have you fin
ished that address IF mine on Modern
/ Progress?' asked the great man of his
private secretary. "Yes, sir; replied
the brainy hireling. "TTave You put in
everything you could think Of relating
to the subiect?" eyes, sir; | have
I uldtlt IL VERY foit U tfiiu a
anything further could be said" every
well; just say at the beginning that i
regret that, owing to the brief time al
lotted to me. / will be unable TO go as
fully into the subject as could wish,
and let me have it."-Puck.
-"What splendid listener" saws n
woman. ''seems the average young
man, and how weak apparently are his
conversational powers! Yet he man
ages to draw much from his young
women friends. saying little, but
quickly setting the ball rolling. Is i,
because we have all the volubilitv
which must pour out in any event?
think so, for two len walking or rid
4 ing together find little to say to each
other. But watch throRg leaving a
theater or church or anywhere and
you will see every woman chattering
away. with nearly every man pleased
listener"