davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
A Fatal Success,

The little woman was blue and looked
tired, and of course the neighbors drop
ped in and tried to symp athize with her
The little woman said that she wa;
worn out with sewing and asked the
neighbor if she had ever tried to do any
sewing on her husbands clothes.
"Why, yes, poor, DEAR" replied the
neighbor. at is hard work, and then no
one but a tailor can ever satisfy a man
worked two days once trying to ii over
a coat for my husband, and then he only
growled and grumbled and took it to 4
tailor to have it all done over again"
my experience was worse than that,
said the little woman, sadly. "My hus-
band was always growing because he
had TO 90 to tailor for everything, and
finally in pure desperation undertook
to put new Innings in the sleeves Of his
overcoat."
81 know, know" broke in the neigh
Dor. "Awfully hard to make them fit
just right, and to get a color that will
suit man."
"Yes, but consulted him about the
color, and then took the old Innings out
and studied them to see how they were
cut. couldn't have them too loose or
too tight, you know"
"Ofcourse not. And when it was all
done and you felt that you had earn
ed his thanks, you waited for him to 81 y
something that would please you, and he
didn't"
"Oh, no he didn't.
''He just growled out that 4 five-year-
girl could do as well as that, and that
it would all have to be torn out again.
"No, 1 wish he had. He tried it on
and said that it was fairly well done, and
he guessed he'd never have to 20 to a
tailor again for repairs, and he hasn't.
That's what makes me so tired to-day.
Oh, if | only had it to do over again, I'd
fix il 50 he couldn't get that coat on
Chicago Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Learning to Pop.

1t is queer how small an occurrence
serves to attract a crowd. The other
evening popcorn kiosk at the corner Of
d. street and the avenue was surrounded
by gaping crowd, ranging in character
from gamins to gentlemen, all breath
lessly watching the proprietor as he
shook pepper over the gas flames. A
couple of young ladies happened to be
passing, and one of them inquired
what are those men staring at P'
"They are learning how to pop, repli-
ed her companion.
"0h, sighed the speaker, chow l wish
Charlie would take a few lessons p
Washington Post
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Religion in Virginia City.

When Bishop Whitaker came to Nir-
ginia City he wanted TO establish a
church. II was nothing to get trustees
for a mining company. but in a church
epterprise a man has to die TO ill his
shorts. Yet the Bishop did pretty we'll
He finally got all his trustees save one,
and be selected Abe - for the honor.
though Abe was a sinner, and profane
one atthat Abe attended the frst meet
ing Of the trustees.
4 would be glad to help you, Bishop"
he said, 'abut - il -7, / don't
know. I can run mine or s quartz
mill, but don't know any more than a
Chinaman about running church"
But the Bishop prevailed. He inform
ed the trustees that he had plans and
specifications for a church that would
cost s. ,000, lot included. lie said he be
lieved 1880 might be raised by sub
seription, leaving the church but s. 800
in debt, which amount would run at low
interest and might be paid up in four or
five years. Everybody expressed ap-
proYal except Abe, who kept silent His
opinion was asked by the clergyman.
@Why -it, Bishop" cried Abe, q" /
told you that 1 knew nothing about
church business, but l don't like the
plan. If you were to get money at 10
per cent. pei annum, which is only half
the ban king rate, your interest would
amount to nearly 81 200 year, or almost
as much as you expect to raise for a COM
mencement. If you want church, -
it, Why don't you work the business as
though you believed it would pay"
Abe sat down and the Bishops heart
sank.
Well, have you got q better scheme ?"
asked one of the trustees.
You bet" said Abe. 81 move that
an assessment Of s., 600 be levied on each
Of the trustees, the same to be payable
Immediately"
The Bishop had Just come from the
East aud be WAS bewildered. The good
man filtered:
Il fear l cannot at present raise
$1,000"
Never mind, Bishop" said Abe, eve
viii take yours out in preaching"
The checks were forthcoming, and Abe
went through the camp on 4 collecting
tour, striking eyerybody-merchants, sa-
loon keepers, gamblers, all alike. In an
hour he had the whole $4,000, and ear
ried a certificate for it to the clergyman.
Take that for a starter, Bishop" said
Abe It won't be enough, for guess a
church is like an old quartz mill-the
cJst always exceeds the estimates good
deal; bat 90 ahead, and when You need
more money We will levy another assess
ment on the internal sinners"
Abe never joined the church, and
swore a little TO the last The Bishop
preached his funeral ssrmon and did it
with moist eyes and a trembling voice.
Abe's part in building the church was
only one of his whims, but for years he
was a Providence to scores Of people on
the Comstock.-Sla Ern,cisco EDaminer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Not in Stock.

Fair Customer-"I live in the suburbs,
and want a watchdog"
Dealer" Yes, num-"
"But of course 1 don't want one that
will keep us awake all night barking at
nothing"
Yes, num-"
ale must be big and strong and fierce,
you know"
~Asgtntle as a lamb with us, you
know"
Yes, num-"
"And he must pounce on every brutal
man that comes along, and drive him
Off"
ayes. num-"
"But he mustn't interfere with any
poor but honest man looking for work"
No, num-"
"If burglar comes prowling around
at night the dog should make mince meat
of him in an instant
Yes, num-"
But he mustn't attack a neighbor
who drops in for an evening call"
No, num-"
"And of course he mustn't molest peo-
pie who come hurrying in at all hours Of
the night to call my husband. He is a
doctor, you know"
No, mum. l see what you want.
You want a mind reader dog"
Yes, I suppose 50. Can you Sc nd me
one ?"
Every sorry, mum, but I'm just out Of
that kind"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Origin of the Word Caucus.

Doyoulike politics? Ifyou, doyOu have
read much about "caucuses7 and more
about bosses" About 1924, Samuel
Adams, the father OF Samuel Adams Of
revolutionary fame, and a score or so Of
others used to meet together in hall at
the north end of Boston, where the ship
yards and rope walks were. The club
was destined TO lay plans for introducing
certain persons into places Of trust and
power" It was largely composed Of men
in the shipbailding industry and hence
was called "the Calker's Club" Thus
arose one Of the best known terms in
politics-caucus.
In they ear 1865 John Adams made an
entry in his diary, which shows that the
change from calkers to caucus had already
taken place. He wrote This day
learned that the Caucus Club meets at
certain times in the garrett Of Tom DAVIS,
the adjutant Of the Boston regiment.
There they smoke tobacco until you can
not see from one end ofthe garret to the
other; they drink flip, 1 suppose and
there they choose a moderator, who puts
question to the vote regularly, and select
men, assessors, collectors, wardens, fire
ward, and representatives are regularly
chosen before they are chosen in the
town"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Electric Bitters.

This remedy is becoming so well
known and so popular as to need no spe-
rial mention. All who have used Elec-
trie Bitters sing The same song of prai c
4 pnrer medicine does not exist and it is
guaranteed to do all that is claimed
Electric Bitters will cure all diseases OF
the Liver and Kidneys, will remove PIN.
pies, Boils. salt Rheum, and ether afec-
tions caused by impure blood.-Win
drive Malaria from the system and pre-
vent as well as cure all Malarial fevers.
Fore cure of Headache, Constipation and
Indigestion try Electric Bitters. Entire
satisfaction guaranteed, or money refund
ed. Price SOC. and Sl0O per bottle at ]
n. Snyder's drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Words of Wisdom.

Mercy and truth are the wings Of love.
1t takes more courage to endure than
to act.
Mercy is the touch Of a mother dress
ing wound.
The right kind of a man is never hurt
any by prosecution.
The gold plating on a wire does not
make it any stronger.
The snrest way TO win the love Of peo-
pie is TO become loVable.
Whenever 4 wise man makes mis-
take it teaches him something.
Some OF the organs sweetest notes
come from pipes that cannot be seen.
Selfconceited people are very apt ID
think they can get along without any
help.
On the day that a man thinks he is s
fool he has become 4 near neighbor tC
wisdom.
The only people who are not made bet
ter by giving are those who do not give
half enough.
The people who are trying the hardest
to get rich in this world viii be the poor,
est in the next.
No man can get wisdom enough Il
keep him from seeing tomorrow that ht
has been a fool to-day.
Light travels at the rate of nearly tive
hundred thousand miles in a second, bu
it is 4 small consolation to think Of i
when you fall over a wheelbarrow in th,
dark.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Do You Kiss at Home.

A travelling man, who was also the
head Of a prosperous firm, promised his
newly-wedded wife that he would give
her dollar every time he kissed her
and in that way she could save plenty Of
money. Things went on in this way
for several years, and, as he made plen-
ty of money he faithfully kept his prom
Use. Finally reverses came, and the once
prosperous travelling man found he was
virtually panper lie wentlhome to his
wife and told her all. She, however, did
not seem TO feel worried, and he was
somewhat surprised when she asked him
to take a ride with her that afternoon,
but accepted her invitation. Passing a
large block on a well known street she
said That's mine" Soon she came TO
handsome fiat and said That's mine"
Well, she showed him several places
with the same remark, until he began to
be suspicious and inquired: "How in
the deuce did you accumulate SO much
wealth ?" "Do you remember the con-
tract you made when we were married ?"
she said. Yes" he replied, 81 do"
" Well, have invested it, and it has
made us rich" The travelling man hung
his head and said nothing. This was
kept up for thirty minutes, until his wife
became alarmed, and she asked What
is the matter, and what are you thinking
about?' Il was thinking of how rich
We would be if had done all my kissing
at home"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
A Famous Old Argonaut Judge

Judge Bearden described the morning
appearance of the late Judge Lake when
he sat upon the bench.
Itseems that Judge Lake used to be a
sort Of Judge Jeffreys toward criminals
and that his mercy was never strained.
For instance he would walk up the steps
of the bench" and the poor numbering
or thieving criminal below would shiver
and think of cells and gallows.
'Pat," the Judge would say, sharply,
cheat the stove|
Then the faithful menial would stir the
fire hurriedly. and the Judge would ad-
just his shining collar and faultless neck
cloth.
After which he would rub his polish
ed finger nails together and thrust them
through page or two of the decisions of
of that famous British jurist, Lord Ers-
kin, and as climax he wolld look at
his translucent hands and exclaim.
"Hurry them up-Tve only few min
utes this morning.
Then the batch of prisoners would be
ushered into the dock and the steeiy
eyes of the Judge would be turned upon
them in such fashion that, like certain
pictures painted by the old masters, one
might imagine that the eyes looked
dozen different ways at once.
Lake seems to have been so impartial
that he lacked discrimination, for on a
certain occasion, when the clerk called
off the first name on the docket, a gray
bearded burglar of sixty-eight years step
ped forward to be sentenced.
prisoner at the bar" said the Judge
inspecting his elegant little finger nail
"you have been before this court on the
charge Of theft many times. hesitate
to be severe, but in justice to public NOR
ais l find it my duty to sentence YOU TO
confinement in State prison for the term
of fifty years, and when you emerge from
its walls you may be better man -
''Say, Judge" said the clerk, looking
up to the polished iurist, you've got the
wrong man-you forgot-it was Young
Hays you were going TO send up for fifty
years. The old tramp. there, amt going
to last two years, let alone fifty"
"Ah how is that?' demanded the
Judge, inspecting the list on his desk
cob, / see-yes, yesl dear mellow
very odd Just give Hayes fifty years
also, and you may as we'll let the other
matter stand. When a man of sixty odd
years hasn't learned enough to avoid
being found out he's much safer in jail"
And the docket would proceed.-San
Francisco Eramiaer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Aphorisms.

self-respeet is the cornerstone of all
virtue.
Silence at the proper season is wisdom
and better than any speech.
Sloth, like rust, consumes faster than
labor wears, while the used key is always
bright.
To be selfish is to sacrifice the nobler
for the meaner ends, and to be solidly
content.
| think you viii find that people who
honestly mean to be true really contra
dict themselves much more rarely than
those who try TO be consistent.
No man has come TO true greatness
who has not felt IN some degree that his
life belongs to his race, and that what
God gives him lie gives him for man
kind.
There Is nothing so small but that we
may honor God by asking His guidance
Of II, or insult him by taking it into our
own hands, and what is true Of the Del
ty Is true Of His revelation.
Every mans powers have relation 10
some kind Of work; and whenever ne
finds that kind Of work which he can do
best-that to which his powers are best
sdapie3-he finds that which viii give
him the best development, and that by
which he can buildup. or make his man-
hood.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
His Politics Tested in Blood.

One Of the handsomest delegates at
Minneapolis was S. S. Matthews, of Mis-
sissippi. He is six-fcoter, finely pro-
portioned, has curly black hair reaching
to his shoulders and wears white slouch
hat. In the language Of his colleagues,
he is prince in manner and one Of
the most popular Republicans in Missis-
sippi. His Republicanism has been test
ed in such a remarkable manner as to
leave no doubt as to its genuineness. 1t
was not many months ago that his faith
er, who insisted on going to the polls
and voting the straight Republican tick
ct, was warned by the Democrats not to
do 80 on pain Ct instant death. Seven
Of these desPeradoes drew lots to see
which should be executi0ner in case the
elder Matthews persisted in his purpose.
The man who was thus chosen warned
Mr.. Matthews not to vote. He paid no
attention to the words and started to-
ward the polls, a Republican ticket in
his hand. The desperate at once seized
double-barreled shotgun and emptied
both loads into Mr.. Matthew's body. In
stead of bringing the man TO justice, the
Democrats elected him Mayor of the
town.
Shortly after this one of the dead
mans sons was warned in the same man
ner, but he paid no attention to the
threat and was also murdered in cold
blood. 1T is only a question of time
when they get me too" said Mr.. Mat
thews, "but they can make up their
minds that viii stick it out to the end
and keep on voting the Republican tick
ct. l, too, have been warned. What lit
tie I have is here in Mississippi and 1
don't propose TO be frightened away or
to 90 somewhere TO starve. l have one
other brother who moved away from the
State, and these desperadoes have sent
him word that if he ever returned to Mis-
sissippi they will kill him. Down there
a Republican is hated like poison, and
they call them rattlesnakes. A man
without nerve does not dare toassert that
he is aught but Democrat. These mur-
derers are never brought to justic e.
They are not even indicted, and no in
quest is ever held over the body of
murdered Republican. Lawlessness
reigns supreme. We paid a lawyer one
thousand dollars to prosecute the mur-
derer Of my brother, but the district at
torney declared that it was his business
and iu consequence nothing was done"
Naturally there are few Republican
voters in Mississippi. But there are
enough to elect delegates to the National
Convention and votes count there. Our
delegation is almost solid for Harrison
in fact, may say there is not a Blaine
delegate in the lot"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
A Story of Real Life.


| saw a woman the other day-dead.
She was twenty-six years old, sleeping
she didn't look seventeen. Every trace
ofsin was off her face, and it was be-
cause for few months before she died
she knew what it was to have a little
consideration. She would clasp the sis
ter's hand-the sister ofwhom she had
grown 50 fond-and say: " It's 50 good
to be allowed to just rest" Then when
the hour came that she had to face her
God, she said, "sister, you promised me
He would be kind to me-" and, holding
her by the hand, the sister answered
her: Yes" And then Just as she clos
ed her eyes she asked, ooh, God have
mercy on me q sinner" And he viii.
Dead, she was gowned in little white
dress, and a white rose in her hand-she
had asked for this from a women who
was in the habit Of going to the hospital
because, she said, If that little baby
had lived, who was the child of my sin
and love, should have named it Rose"
The little procession that went away
from the hospital that day consisted Of
the dear, dead woman, and of two wo-
men who had gotten to know her
through her illness, and q priest to say q
few words over her. But they believed
as firmly as they believed in the exist
ence Of a God that the poor weak soul
would be forgiven because it had loved
much. You see, we, being women, ought
not to dare to judge unfortunate sisters.
Just think Of the horror oft. It may be
your daughter or mine. Remember what
is said:
Shall no man hold his pride fo-ewarn'd
TIL in the end the Jay OF days,
AT judgment one ofhis own race,
A. frsl and los; as you shall rise
His daughter, with his mothers eyes.
-NaC York Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
A MAD POET

rushed into a newspaper Office recently,
and threatened TO "clean outn the es-
Establishments because they printed his
verses wrong. Said he - i wrote, To
dwell forever in a grot Of peace and
YOU idiots put it a pot of grease :"
The mortified editor presented him
with a vial Of DIR. Pierce's Pleasant
Pellets. a years subscription and an
apology.
The little "Pelletsr positively cure
sick and nervous headache, biliousness,
costiveness, and all arrangements of the
stomach. bowels aud liver. Its large
contract. but the smallest things in the
world do the business DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets. They're the small
est. but the most effective. They go to
work in the right way. They cleanse
aud renovate the liver, stomach and
bowels thoroughly but they do il
mildly and gently. You feel the good
they dO-bHt you don't feel them do
ing it.
They're the cheapest pin you can
buy, because they're guaranteed 10 give
satisfaction, or your money is returned.
You only pay for d.e good you get;
That's the peculiar plan all Dr.
Pierce's medicines are sold on, through
druggists.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Keep Young.

Mother wants 10 keep me baby un-
iii l am %" pouted girl of Il, whose
wise mother wanted TO have her retain
the loosely-fowing locks and the youth
ful simple garments suitable 10 her years
for a couple of seasons longer. This conf
plant is very frequently heard coming
from lips Of maidens who are 10 be en-
We'd owing to their adorable youth, the
very thing they despise. The rosy flush,
TIE slight figures, the clear eyes will new
er belong to them but once. Once only
can q woman be young. She may in
time be an angel, but she will never
again be a girl. Do not forget this, oh,
We young ones so anxious to put behind
Won the one period of your existence
VIII en- the sun shines as it never will
again, and when the birds sing with a
brighter, sweeter meaning than will be
heard when the morning has passed and
high noon with the greater heat and
pressure Of the burdens of life has rushed
upon you. Isn't every young tnln
sweeter and purer than the world-bard-
ened older ones of the same species
Look at the lambs at play, note the ten
der green leaves that shoot out in their
innocent verdure from the old winter
seasoned branches. Puppies and kittens
are the most appealing creatures, and
when one comes TO babies there never
can be in all this lovely world anything
quite so sweet and loyable as dear lit
tie dimpled cooling baby.
Therefore, girls, stay young. You may
have TO bear some snubs and submit 10
some indignities owing to your extreme
youth, but the time viii come when you
will long for these illusions to q crime Of
which you are no longer guilty.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Beds Should be Kept Warm.

trustworthy statistics could be had
Of the number OF persons who die every
year or become permanently diseased
from sleeping in damp or cold beds, they
would probably be astonishing and ap-
palling. 1t is peril that constantly be-
sets travelling men, and if they are wise
they viii invariably insist on having
their beds aired and dried, even at the
risk Of causing much trouble to their
landlords.
But, according to Good Housekeeping,
it is peril that resides also in the home,
and the cold spare room" has slain its
thousands Of hapless guests, and will 90
on with its slaughter till people learn
wisdom. Not only the guests, but the
family, often suffer the penalty of sleep
ing in the cold rooms and chilling their
bodies, at time when they need all
their bodily heat, by getting between
cold sheets.
Even in warm summer weather cold
damp bed viii get in its deadly work.
Ii ia needless peril, and the neglect to
provide dry rooms and beds has in it the
elements Of murder and suicide.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-06-22
Katie Got the Book.

Katie was going 10 bed, after day of
toll, minding her sick and MANNED dolls
chronic invalids all Of them-and her
beautiful duck, the one old quacker that
travelled with the hens because he had
no better company. The robin that bad
been watching her ont of the corners of
his bright eyes, as he run oyer the lawn
and listened to her prattle, was asleep al
ready, with his head under his wing, and
Katie's hung heavily on her mothers
shoulder while she was undressing her.
Now lay me" had been said, with
many yawns in between, and mammals
pet had been tucked in snugly; but just
as the sleepy eyes were closing, she sud-
denly sat bolt upright.
Mamma" she said, want John
ny's picture book-that one with the
lambs"
Hush Katie" said her mother, the
least bit wearily, for the little feet and
the little tongue had never ceased going
ouc LAOLAcAt aiA udg. w" We "-4- -
to sleep"
"But mamma, and the big eyes plead
ed earnestly, cant l have Johnny's
picture book this onst?"
Not tonight, dearie; it is too late"
Mamma" said Kate, sitting up very
traight and looking very solemn indeed,
heard story of little girl-she was
a good little girl-that asked her mamma
onst, when she was put to bed, for the
picture book with lambs, and the mann
ma told her she couldn't have it, and
and" the baby voice fell to an awed
whisper, and the eyes grew very big,
''in OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES just was
deadw
"My, Katie! And what killed her 50
quick ?"
Because" said Katie, with eonyic-
tion, because she didn't get the book. "
She got it, and in five minutes was
asleep with il in her arms.-Harpa's
Weekly.