The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-04-16

regulating his brass hunting ceased
watch.
To get s-uare with the old gentle
nina for deceiving mo In such mean
manner. 1 laid the trousers In the
bowl and poured the water from tho
pitcher over them.
Then slipped out to the hall and
entered the other rooms but beyond
securing lots more OF jewelry TALL OF
which l afterward discovered to he
bogus) ] got nothing In the way OF
money while found cigarettes
enough'to kill all the boys in school
Suddenly II flashed across my puz-
zled brain that II was Saturday night
or TO be exact Sunday morning.
That OF course. accounted for the
dead broke appearance OF tho board
ers' pockets for the sharp landlady
had taken all their weekly earnings.
leaving each one just enough to pay
car fare on Monday morning.
Wondering why hadn't thought OF
this before. softly stole up the third
story stairs to the room at tho back
end OF the hall. where landladies
always sleep, and stood outside by the
door hesitating ere picked Its lock.
/ knew IL was q mighty ticklish
thing for even smarter burglar than
! imagined myself TO be to get the
best OF boarding house mistress or
to catch such weasel asleep.
But finally and against my best
judgment determined to risk II and
in a moment had noiselessly forced
my way into the room and to the bu-
reau whore / hoped to capture all the
money in the house
The gas was turned very low but 1t
enabled me to see two punches of
ringlets which never failed to decorate
their owners stern features in day
light and sundry other bric- a brac
which. under no circumstances, a man
ought to mention.
also noticed that no shores what
ever came from the direction of the
pillow on which reposed the tireless
head Of the house but though feeling
uneasy in consequence l hurriedly
fumbled through the bureau drawers
expecting each instant to find what /
was in search Of
Alas didn't know that two never
sleeping eyes were watching me all
the time till felt a whack from a
poker on my thin skull, and then
pair OF long. skinny arms around my
neck while MAN in my room" shrieked
into my poor ears and aroused the
house.
In such frightful situation I was
compelled TO be ungallant to a lady
and pinch her hard till she let go.
Then out OF her room and down
stairs to the second floor hall. still
shrieking. Man in the house-catch
him!n
In a moment the whole menagerie
had broken loose and the uproar was
terrific.
Doors flew open all about me and
the hall quickly filed with pale faced
boarders more scared. IL possible. than
Was. From below coming up the
stairs was the back parlor boarder with
a gun. which he carried so carelessly
that !. fearing it might go of in the
excitement turned about and darted
into bedroom which had just been
vacated. trusting to hide there till
chance favored my escape.
Unable to get under the bed owing
to that space being utilized as store
room for the entire worldly effects OF
its late occupant did the only thing
left for me. which was to get into the
bed. snatch off my cap and pull the
covering up to my chin.
There lay. trembling like mouse
and praying for good luck to assist
me.
Before finished my first prayer
heard the shrill voice OF the old vixen
of landlady screaming that she had
seen me enter the room and CON-
her slaves to go In and
capture me.
Then the door burst open and two
big policemen with drawn clubs and
revolvers walked in and very i'm
politely babe me "git out OF that"
With all the freezing dignity
could produce and trying to look
awfully surprised and keeping the
blankets tight around my chin in
formed them I was the new boarder
and ordered them out of my room.
But they only grinned and aimed
crack at mo with their clubs which. IL
/ hadn't ducked my head instantly be.
meath the cotton blankets might have
settled me forever.
The rest is soon told. I was hand
cuffed trotted to the station. and next
day sent by rapid transit to the state
hotel. wherein / am now engaged In
my patent seli-Kicking ma
chine which intend to use on myself
at the first opportunity.
The jewelry-so called-which /
had con fiscated in the hash mill. was
returned to its rightful owners. but
the loose change / had acquired-not
half enough to pay the expenses Of my
grabbed by the
who truly made oath that 1t
was her property and dared her timid
boarders TO say aught to the contrary.
Next time try to rob boarders I'll
run the hash-mill myself but guess
once is enough for me. 1t pays much
better to clean out bank. Chicago
Sun.