The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-10-09
HIS FIRST EXPERIENCE
ssA LECTURE ADVANCE AGENT.
Mr. n. T.. Wilson Tells OF How He Left the
Field of Newspeperdom 60 Rep
sessnt Platform Star.

remember as o youth ] was intro
nuced once 90 an advance agent for
lecturer. i was Impressed. that is, was
captivated. That advance agent who
came 10 our country town was the bright
particular star after whom my soul
longed. lie wore high silk hat
black coat, magnificent buff waistcoat,
lovely pair of trousers with pro,
nounced check, and tho most beautiful
pea.green cravat that ] ever saw. His
ioveliness ruined me; he was a beauty
After that could not ride the horses horses
bareback TO water, l would not uIlnA
out Of the gOurd at the spring, ana no
one ever saw me up town baTeIoo'eo
again, even in muddy weather. $3.50,
Right there and then / was chauSeu
man. / had on ambition g.. .,is
/ had waited many years pus 'naS
summer my ambition was satsneu; eli
tirely, perfectly and completely sla'ino oS.
and the role Of the advance agent now
has no more cksrms for me than tha' Oh
the bridge-tender or night-watcIinan III
she railroad freight yards; p.,.;uoro
j found NV ideal lecturer in baltimore.
4Ie was n mild-loOking man with pen
Hive smile, and n face that Was lhuica,
tive Of great thought. lie was attraceu
20 me by my dignihod manner and gen
fleness Of speech, and he approached me
lie was supplied with an astounding
quantity of advertising dodgers, hand
somely decorated with a wood cut OF HIM
self and glowirgly portraylng the. won
ders of his lecture on Australia. lie
was fortunate, he said, to meet man OF
nv versatility and pleasing address, and
would cheerfully divide equally the re-
ceipts with me. We would go 10 the sea
side resorts ] would arrange with the
propretors for the use OF the dining or
ballroom. speak of the beauties OF the
lecture about the Hobbies and verandas,
receive the numberless dollars at the door
and he would do the rest for his share OF
the profits 1t was the opportunity OF my
life and / graspeG it, and after thanking
him for his kindness / bade my few friends
I'm Baltimore goodbye with the air OF n
man whose fortune is assured. one gay
later we were at Asbury Park, and AFTER
registering with many flourish, 1 STOOD
out on the pier real, live advance agent
and the tumult Of my breast was ny Tue
tossing pillows about me.
That afternoon | spoke with all the
guests about the great treat IN store ior
Them. and plastcred the hotel literally
with our graceful dodgers.
Eight o'clock finally came. and the &C
commodating landlord told me that the
room was ready, and with swellng
heart / took my stand at the door.
few minutes passed and an old man, ac-
companied by two beautiful girls, handed
me So and walked in. Grand old man,
thought J. lovely women sure. Nearly
an hour passed and twenty-three OF the
100 chairs we're occupied | was grow
Ing very nervous and would cheerfully
have reduced the price TO quarter, but
! could think of no precedent for this
among frst-class attractions, and so con
tinued 10 look rs uncOncerned as posi-
bic The clock struck ., and the little
patient band, which resembled IN num-
hers a Bible class on q rainy Sabbath,
began to grow restless, but the oracle on
"Australia" had not put in an appear
ance. The situation was desperate, and
/ rushed upstairs after him. lie had
lust managed 10 fasten one Of my collars,
a size too large about his neck, and was
struggling with the most diminutive and
dilapdated dress coat l ever saw. L
caught the coat collar and, placing my
hand on his chest pushed him bodily INTO
the thing and dragged him down stairs.
We met two Of the throng coming out,
but ] assured them that all was ready
and they reluctantly took seats near the
door. With very bland smile and
few choice phrases which | had carefully
memorized / introduced the embodiment
of 10y hopes to the unsuspecting gathering
and then took a chair beside the table.
He unfolded a bundle of manuscript
which resembled package of New York
Sunday papers. and striking a wonderful
attitude began on the enchanting theme
of Australia. The weather was terribly
warm, and as the perSpiratlon gathered
on the Professors brow i Surmised that
ia the hasty arrangement Of his toilet
he had forgotten his handkerchief, !
reached over and placed mine upon his
table This generous act pleased the audi
ence. and the first applause of the even
Ing followed. The orator then grew
trife facetious. and ] joined my strong
voice with his in laughter. but the duet
sounded almost weird in the large and
nearly vacant room ] could see that
spirit of resignation was settling about
the congregation like that of the quaran-
tined passengers off Sandy Hook. | was
growing tired, weary already of playing
advance agent. and the speaker was get
ting hoarse and apOplectic in appearance.
He dropped II sheet Of his manuscripts aud
as | replaced il before him | whispered
10 him to strike the peroration. The
audience caught my whispered words and
the second burst Of applause crowned
the evening. The Professor responded
grandly to this enthusiasm. and with
Thanks for their kind attention" he sat
down. while a score of gloomy looking
people FASTENED from that room.
The sage and orator turned to ME and
with n smile, whose effrontery haunts
me still. innccently asked:
well, what do you think of it old
man."
] told him candidly. but with all the
vigoE had left, but the words don't look
well in print, and right there closed my
first and final professional engagement.
sss
IL won't be long until the flowers
Now shielding sweetest fragrance round
Are lying wthered. scattered dead.
On the cold and frozen ground
IL won't be long until the songsterS
Now sweetly singing overhead,
Have left deserted natures hail.
To fairer, warmer climes have fed
1t won't be long till all our dear ones
One by one have passed away,
And ike the stem on which the rose
Has lived and blOOmed, our hopes decay.
II won't be long until we see them
Who have passed beyond our sight;
They are waiting 10 receive as
Fer the coming OF the night.
They're not dead-our sainted loved ones
Who have reached the shadow land;
We can hear their silent whisper,
We can feel them touch cur hand.
We can sit in midnight watches
Sit ard talk and feel them speak;
We can clasp the infant angels,
We can Dress the mothers cheek.