Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-03-27
HIS LAST OFFENCE.
A CLEVER ANecooTE OF THE U. 8.
Judge AND THE MOONSHINER.
"a. Stranger to whom Ho Frankly hs-
lated His Story Was judge Jury Law
var. and witnsss-"Disn,iss H."

Judge white, Of one OF the virginia
c;rcu,ts contributes the following TO Hdr-
pc.'s Magazine. which shows that some 0,
our grave Judges are not without VEN OF
humor. 1t is said that Judge Bond Oh 'he
United States Circuit Court. had o some
what similar experiepce with Sloon-
sinner. and this may have been the ioun-
dation for Judge Whittle's anecdotes
Judoe D.. OF the Circuit Court OF the
Intel States for the circuit, gives tue
following incident of his experience witna
Moonshiner." II was e route to q,
M which place q term OF The court COM
menced next day. At each station. as tne
train neared c.. the coaches began 10 M
with motley crew OF deputy-maisna
nrisoners. witnesses, and litigants. Ahd
hnally A butternut-jeans specimen drop
ped INTO nv seat with, s'pose thars rune
enough fur both orn US, stronger Iounu
him communicative, and a few general
observations set his tongue agolng. las,
I'm cvine down to c. TO tend cot,
which the gran jurur hey, indicted me TOT
'stilin'. Well. I've bin thar oerfore. out
they hain't nuver got me y,t. Inc lsn II,
old Judge F., which ar the deestrlcK
ledge, they call i'm, he kinder seems 10
know our folks. an sorter ornderstah
this here enturnle revunnue blsuiness, an
how them marshuls works it fur fees. But
thew tells me he's tuck sick. an
hey writ fur an ole iedge name D.,
from away out'ards somewhat. to set
fur i'm. which. they SEE. he's long ords
the wust ov the lot. Ihet no helt
cot up at R. wunst, an carrid orn
ridiculous: that he was cot. lurpr, an
lawyer. an mout as well er bin witness.
Rob p be wus a-tellin' oy 1t to er
crowd ut Payne's ole grocery. Ole Lawyer
Nj. he went down thar 10 plead Tor bob
fur retailer, whic he wus good ledge OF
Law. allus so considered, an er reg lar ole
coon dorg before the County Cot. an
sorter run things thar to suit hissel.. ,.r
You could er hearn him open orn stili
day cle'r out to Drunkards' Spring, an
thet's q good halt a mile from the cot
house.
STOOD no SHOWING.
But Bob sed he didn't stan no. mo-
shown before ole Jedge D then a
bobtail bull in fly time. He sorter lawed
back at the Jedge for whet, an talked
Vigorous bout the Deckierashun ov Ena isa
penjunce.f an the Bill ov Rights, an the
Constatushun, an the Resulushuns OF
i79s 100. Bnt it didn't make no. mo
empresshun orn tibet durn, 'signetcant
ole Jedge then or pourln' water orh
a ducks back. He jest sot right down
orn LAWYER NJ. he did, an rar'd hisseit
back IN his char, an sed he werren {
a-persidin' at no flag raisen, Fo'th OF July
dozens, nor nuthen ov the sort, An ne
flowed tibet Lawyer NJ didn't know no
law. an didn't hev no everdence. An he
lest tuck his pen. he did, an he writ out a
verdick, an tole the jurur TO assign II; an
the fust thing Bob knowed be war IN jail.
FOND OF wHIsXEY, TOO.
He sed it war the quickest thing done
thet he ever seen in his life. Whew they
cav he's q plum sight an powful iona er
whiskey. too. an / don't understan' why
he should be SD rantankrous over them 10
makes it. IF haft they say bout hrs
drafted meauuis is so. L shouldn't Won
der eff he didn't git the who'd kit an
biIen orn us this load. The fax is. I'm
a-pitten tired ov the business. enyhow {;
its too dad fetched unsartin; an AFTER
feeling the offucers, hiren lawyers, treat
I'M witnesses, an psyen trayullln' e1-
pensis a'tendin' ov cot, thar amt no pig
chance ov profit IN 1t. no way. when l
tole the ole oman. j SEE, eft l ken man
didge to git cle'r this go-round, I'm
a-gwine to close out an quit business
Stronger. whar YOU gwineT
~ replied that 1. too, was on my way to
c. 20 attend court; and ne continued,
you don't know ole D., S'pose!
"'Yes; I've seen him.
"'Wai, stronger, ef you kin bring eny
enhuunce TO bar orn i'm, an kin git me
outen this here scrape, Pll fee you han
sum-
MUTUAL RECOGNITION.
After learning his name, told him to
be in the courtroom next day promptly at
10 o'clock. As / took my seat on the
bench. the first object that caught my eye
was my fellow traveller, leaning over the
back railing of the bar. The recognition
was mutual. His lower Jaw relaxed and
dropped until it seemed TO hang loose on
its hinges. and there was mingled ex-
preston of astonishment and horror on
his countenance. "
"'Clerk.' SAID /, is there case OF the
United States usrs,is - for Illicit distill-
ing on the docket!'
"Yes, vcur Honor said the Clerk.
a. Dismiss IT," said |.
ut was some little time before he
seemed TO take IN the situation. When he
did he cast timid, sheepish glance at me.
and disappeared in the crowd. think he
kept his word. and went out of the bust
ness; at least, never heard of his name
on docket again.