St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-12-11
LAUGH WITH THE GLOBE.

At6 o'clock dinner of the Ryan last even
ing plump. self-satisfed man sat down at
the south end of table which accommo-
dates one at each end and two on each side.
and set up whispering whistle, while he
turned his head from one side to the other,
looking at the people in the room. The 9TH
ers at the table indicated with scowls their
displeasure at receiving his breath full i'll
their faces; but he took no notice of their ac
tons. and continued TO whistle and move mis-
head about on its pivot Suddenly he broke
out in cough as if strangled. Fol. minute
or more he coughed as though his face were
in danger of being blown off; then he gained
breath enough to wheeze out:
What in thunder is the matter with me!
"Guess you've swallowed Whit of your
BREATH remarked the man at the other end
Of the table i'll an undertone
Yesterday there was shocking affair in one
Of the fashionable dental rooms of the city.
society belle was in the chair, and the den
list with his left arm around her head was
working at her teeth with his right hand.
Suddenly his head dropped upon her neck
so that his left cheek pressed against her
right. Instantly the lady screamed threw
off his arm and sprang out of the chair.
What do you mean?" demanded she with
lire IN her eyes, Nv nat explanation nave
you for such conduct?'
Madam" said the dentist, rubbing his
eyes, 'only this; took a dose OF sulfonal
last night to make me Sleep and it just this
minute took effect.
few nights ago we'll dressed man who
was staggering under an immense jag
stumbled into the central police station and
managed to reach the counter behind which
Lieut. Boerner was presiding:
"Giye US sm'thn (hic) t. drink" NUT
tered he.
you've too much now," said the lieu
tenant
"Gimme s'mth'n (hie) t. drink shay.
Guess know (hlc) my dizziness"
do you know where you are?'' returned
the officer in commanding tone. you are
in the central police station"
"Ezzhat sho? that's horse on me (hic).
Arrested meshelf. didn't? Sho lock me up
(hic) an gimme credit (hic) fer zhe arresht."
The lieutenant accommodated him. but
later sent him home in the care Of friends.
r.
Ma rried Sister Ito brother who has just ar
rived on his bridal visitl-John, you were al
ways such an ardent admirer of pretty girls
that l don't see how you ever fell in love
with Miss Bonds; but, no doubt. she is very
worthy person.
John-Yes, she is worth good deal more
than her face value.
Lawyer Ito his typewriter)-Ellen what's
the matter with this telephone? l can't make
that man understand word / say.
Ellen-Oh the janitor has been having
quarrel with his wife in Hungarian over it,
and guess they broke its jaw.
English Cad Ito handsome American coun-
try girl, who has snubbed him)-Mah deah
Miss, deou yeou know think yeou must be
twoubled with dyspepsia. l wecommend
that yeou take some pepsin.
American Girl suppose that's on the the
DRY that like is good for like?
Cad-Y-a-ah-s.
American Girl-Well, I'd recommend for
you diet of calves brains.
John-Good morning, Jim; how do you
feel?
uncut of sight.
John-You don't look it.
Jim-Why how do l look
John-In sight.
| Bartender Ito proprietor by telephone)-Is
| Tim MalOney good for drink?
Proprietor-Has he the drink?
Bartender-He has.
Proprietor-He is.
Papa-Dottie. what are you going to give
| mamma for Christmas?
Dottie-Me fink me guive 'er q pwaih OF
slippers wiz cushins on e bottoms.
|
certain capitalist OF st. Paul is accused
of being SO stingy that he uses wart on the
back of his neck for collar button.