The St. Johns herald., 1892-01-07
A Record of CrancIadeS.
BY A. cRANoUE.

town can always be counted upon to produce that article to the fullest extent. 'Tis said but one step in- tervenes between the sublime and the ridiculous; this being true, and the new fad first exhibited on the streets last Sunday morning posses sing nothing in the nature of sub- limity, 1t must then be catalogued under the head of the ridiculously- absurd, if one may judge of that "pious association" from the com position of it's personnel. Unfor- tunately, however, for this new fad, one of it's most worthy disciples. and heretofore shining light, is now immured behind the iron-bars of the county jail; nevertheless, should justice again miscarry in his case, and 'tis said the prayers of the righteous" availeth much, this great light will not long remain hidden, and his release will be hail. ed with howls of delight by this so- ciety of kindred spirits.
 *x*
 If we can believe history, (and it does lie outrageously at times it has been the misfortune of more than one saint to languish behind the prisons bars. for we are told { that both Saint Paul and St. John suffered imprisonment. And why the lambs of righteousness so run counter to the laws of the ungodly goats; and, therefore, find them selves chewing the cud of reflection behind strong bars, l shall not ex- plain at this time, but if you are anxious to know at once, 1 refer you to the psychologists, or to a board of lunacy. Apropos of that lan- gushing lamb of the "lepros," whose unreasonable incarceration inhibits his personal participation in the rites of his beloved society, and all on account of the unsym pathetic lovers of the goat tribe, can, and no doubt does, piously feel that the pious work goes brave Iy on during his enforced absence.
 %a*
 The character of Uriah Heep is not altogether a fictitious one for his exact counterpart is to be met with at the turning of almost any corner in every hamlet throughout Christendom. *x#
 Once upon time, an honest Dutchman, (honest as the world now goes), a miller by trade, had peculiar dream, in which he dream ed that he died and was carried be- fore the judgement scat of heaven ito be judged according to the deeds done in the flesh" In rela- ting this dream he said St. Peter was the chief justice ot that tri- bunal. The following is the hon. est miller's version of what occur red: "VelI, ven I cooms up dar St. Petters say to me, Hans, vot bees your pesiness down pelow? Den I say, I vas an honest miller, Mr. Peters, 'Vot. says he, 'an honest miller, I navar saws un since l peen heare.' We'll, Mir. Petters, says l, I don't rob der old vomans vot lived by mine house, und many times, ven 1 don't hay got only a few pigs, 1 gives some-not too much-shorts und bran to der poor peples vot lived der, ven dey help do some leetle schores DOT me, you know. Den, St. Petters scratch his bald-head a leetle vile, und den he say, We'll, Hans, you ought to go to der left init der goats, but I tink dar yos soome good init you, und will let you go to der rite init der sheeps, but remember, Hans, und he shocks his finger at me, it was a tam tight squeeze AS the honest Miller had a tight squeeze to get into the abode of the blessed, 1 very much fear that many, too many, perhaps, of the goody goody of our people, not oOnpti,,Cr many " lO OO bU inc