The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-11-26
THEORIES Ill WRONG
WHEN BROUGHT FACE TO FACE
WIFE C7IXE.

he Wasn't Driven5o Theft by Want
g1d Neither Vas He Anxious to
Secure work-The Cartons Course
Of Argument Proven Fauacious, but
the Conviction If Error Proves
Peasant and Profitable.
C. B. Letcis in Chicago Times.
The house with the c1pola, " as 1t wes gen.
era,iv referred to, was situated at the had
rfthe long and struggling street called Min
street. in the village of Davisburg. 1t vas
built for and occupied by the editor of he
Clarion. To be more explicit, Mr. Borest.
as will call him. vas editor, publisher and
prorretor Of the Clarion. MIR. Boneet
wasa't much of au editor, and the CLARION
wasn't much of a newspaper, but both mtn-
e:ed to exist. The editor was fifteen years
building the house Wi the cupola. All
the lumber. hardware, plastering and pant
inc was secured by advertising and subscip-
tions. Not all either, for now and then ne
editor put in a day or two with saw md
isckplane, and now and then the Office
force was sent up there with bras h
and paint pot. The Office force ,onS
sisted Of by any where from Is to l6 Iears
old VINO acted as devil" AID an oil man
rarned Fosdick WHO acted as toeman,
pressnan, Il cal editor, job printer, and so
on. 1t wasn't always the same BOY Tor
BOYS change as do the seasons, btt 1t " as
always Fosdick. He was 40 yearsold when
the cellar was dug, he was 4swhen the
house was lnclosed, he was sc when the
wind VS. we're put III and the Outside door
hung and he was day or two over 80
when the editor moved in. some OF the
rooms were not done off" yet, and the
10, only IN
the editor concluded to mJve in and take
fifteen years mere to flnishfIp.
one day, a week or so afer the CJGrtOn'S
eru0uncenent that I've have finally moved
into our new house on thehiil and our wife
is we'll pleased with the lCsatlon," the wife
was called away by the illness OF a relative,
and that night the edito had the house all
tohimself 1t was All autumn night, ana
he shut himself in as mich as possible, be-
cause the weather Wasshilly. 1t was mid
night BY the clock he Iad taken in exchange
for a half column ad N the third page for
SIX months when be ras aroused from his
dreams a man win pistol sat on the
bed beside him. Aiamp had been lighted
bv the intruder anC the editor had only to
open his eyes 10 rediae that something had
happened to kIock his usual routine
into pi." ..,,-,. i
al want money! growIed the intruder as
he saw the editor vas awake.
How did you get inm queried the lat
ter.
BY way OF tn, ladder, the roof and the
cupola, If you wInt to know. Come, she'll
ou;r
My friend, We have nothing to SHE'LL"
was the honest 'eply. 1--WE did have 80 in
cash, but we gave it to our wife WREN she
went away to-lay. You may possibly find
80 or 40 cents n my trousers, but the sum
total will not each 90. "
you are a - of man, you arel" ex-
claimed the Burglar. Get out Of bed aud
look around. I've got to have money, and
you must slel out or take the conse-
quences."
My friend we'll get out of bed and we'll
search arouni, but the result will be fruit
less. The factis, we've got to borrow money
OF some one to get our next bundle of
Taper. Couldn't you
lie was about to ask If tho burglar
couldn't take it out in advertising at regu-
lar rates and offer III space next to read
ing matter on the fourth page, but the man
made gesture OF impAtience and the pro-
possl was cut short.
Now overhaul that bureau commanded
the burglar as Mr.. Boneset got into his
trousers.
I he sum total Of wealth would not have
figured up 81. Theirs was an old looket,
washed finger ring, and u plated watch
chain many years old. The burglar was
Indignant and made threats. He ordered
Mr.. Boneset to accompany him about the
house anu overhaul closets and trunks and
b Xes. lie even insisted on search OF the
pantry, saying that he had heard of people
hiding their money i'll old teapots the
top shelf. AS the editor appeared to be
mJlE-nauuered and harmless the burglar
gradually relaxed his precautions. They
bsd finished with the pantry when Mr..
BuneSeJ saw his opportunity. Urged by
free he could not resist, although
he had never even Knocked a chip
of a mans shoulder in his life, be struck
out with his right and hit the stranger on
the point of the jaw. Il was prize-hght-
er's bow and the stranger was put to sleep.
Mr.. Boneset lost thirty seconds Of valu able
time in recovering from his amaZement. but
then he Ieached for one of the half dozen
clothes lines he had taken in payment for
3-iuch ad on tho third page, and in couple
Of minutes had his man securely bound. He
was in time Indeed he had started bit of
fire in the kitchen stove and drawn up the
family rocking chair before the burglar rec
gained his serses.
ell, as yoIi see, the tables are turned"
observed the editor as he set his chair in
motion.
The burglar struggled, and cursed, and
threatened, Tut he was helpless.
AS an ed tor" continued MIR. Boneset,
we have continuously aud persistently adj
vocated that we had too much law in this
country, and that most OF the laws we're too
severely enforced, Take the crime of bur-
glsry, for instance. We can remember fifty
different instances where we have declared
that t minimum penalty even was a relic
of barbarism. We have strenuously con-
tended that men were driven to crime in
order to procure the necessities of life, and
that instead of more prisons we needed more
aid societies. Our esteemed contemporary
has always taken an opposite view, and our
arguments have been very exhaustive and
rancorous Were you driven to this crime
because Of hungerp
Look here, you old blocks, I'll have your
life for thism replied the burglar.
Are you hungry"
Hungry Dye think I'm foolN
Have you looked in vain for an oppor-
tuniSy to turn your muscle into money in
an honest wayW
Dye mean work"
''Yes."
well, you are a sap-headed idiotl I'd
like 10 catch myself workiug"
Then you are criminal from choice,
ehm
''Of course am, you moon-faced fool,
and unless you unite me I'll have your life
for thls!n
Then our esteemed contemporary has
haaV, 100 Ill -, nasr, l,oI aS