The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1892-03-16
PITH AND POINT.

i ILL aNN 1 VlN 10
Men of positive convictions-state
prison inmates.-Lowell Courier.
One of the hardest lines Of duty to q Z
woman is the clothes line. - Dallas
News.
Out of the mouths Of babies and suck
lings cometh that which, naketh sleeps
stranger.-New York Herald.
n Swell Ito ingenious maiden).-ssAre you
eneagedGn Ingenious Maiden-ssNo-l
but-I should so like to be."-London
Punch. .:sGti
Ny son, do not put your oar into
general conversation of sensible people
unless you have a good skull. ll.-Elmira
Gazette. ijzs 7.
Paradoxical as it may appear, when Q
man has got low down In the world he !?
may be said to be gone up.-Bingham-
ton Leader.
If men knew as much at forty years of :
age as they knew at twenty, there would
be more statesmen in the county
Texas siftings. s
The woman who blsmes herself for q
mans misdeeds is apt to find him cheer
fully acquiescing IN her views. ws.--lndian-
apolis Journal. .,lis. flza.fz
"What do you think Of your new
governes, Tommy" "oh, she's all
right for beginner, but she'll soon
learn ."-Boston Post.
"Buntle is very aristocratic, is he
mott" "Yes, indeed; he refused to
marry a lady because she had q low
voice. ."-Boston Gazette.
Passenger (famIliarly to street.car COM:
uctor)-1''How are you this morningf"
Conductor Extending his hand politely
-"Fare."-Lowell Citizen.
Ethel-"Jones is ve-y melancholy
man" Reid-"Yes. he was SO well
brought up in his youth that he's never
been able to get any fun out of life. - :
Brooklyn Life. q s.5f
Prisoner (who has just been success
fully defended by his attorney on .
charge of burglary, eagerly)-"You'll
defend me next time, too, won't youf"
Fliegende Blaetter.
Little Johnny is much perplexed to
know why it is that he is compelled to
20 to bed at night when he isn't sleepy.
and forced to get up in the morning
when he is.-Boston Transcript.
"You say you are good washer and
ironer. How do you tell when the irons
are too hotq' "Howa BY smelling the
burning linen, mum, of course. What's
my nose fora"-Philadelphia Times.
It is common enough to hear deaf peo-
pie speak of hearing from their friends,
but we do not remember ever hearing o
blind man say that he fell in love with
any woman at first sight. Boston Tram
script.
It is difficult to say which Is the more
exasperating, the man who treads on your
heels on the public sidewalk or the man
who in front of you will persist in keep
ing his heels il the way of your toes
Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Bunker Crying to establish
basis of conversation)-"A nice cup OF
tea is very nice. Don't you think sof"
Miss Hil-'I cannot quite agree with
you. A nice cup of tea may be nice, but
it takes very nice cup of tea to be very
nice. Chicago Tribune. #
Elderly Widow-"Well, there! Ibe-
lieve I've made all the bequests I wish to
make, still I find $4,000 remaining"
Mutual Friend-"Oh, that's all right.
It will take all of thst to prove you we're
of sound mind when you made your
will."-Pittsburgh Bulletin.
Anxious Wife-"What is his ailment,
doctors" Physician-'I pronounce 1t
paresis, madame" Boston Sick Man
1feebly) )-"According to-recent auf
thorities, you-don't pronounce it-corr
rectly, The-accent-is on the-hrse
syllable. ."-Chicsgo Tribune. Z
"What is the matter, Mrs. Goldena
Yah look like you had seen ghosta"
"Ah, Mrs. Covenhaven, was nearly
killed lust now7" "How did it happen,
Mrs Golden2" "Mrs. Fleury,, who
lived in number twinty. .siven has been
run over by an electric car. I live in
numper twinty-six; suppose it had been
me pharmaceutical Era.
A Maine woman sent to the house of
her nearest neighbor and requested tho
loan of a new pair of scissors. The
neighpor was using them, and sent back
word accordingly. The would.be bor-
rover was not to be rebufed so easily,
and presently her little girl appeared the
second time to say: "Mother wants to
know if you will lend her a quarter to
buy a pair of scissors witha"-Lewiston
Journal.