The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1892-04-02
BACK WOODS BELLIES.
Dolly Dell' Writes Some More
Lakeport Gossip.
Jack ''swings His Honey and They
Meet With an Accident-The Dra-
matte Club Will Come to Sacra-
mento and Astonish the Natives.

matte Club VIII Come to Sacra-
mento and Astonish the Natives.
My chum Kate and have just been for
most delightful sail. As we glIded over
the llmpid waters as quietly and noise
lessiy as the enforced movements OF a lit
tie bird through the air, / suddenly re-
membered the Sacramento RECORD
UNION, and knew how very impatient
the editor must be at my prolonged
silence, so | Immediately came ashore,
and now am welding my pen as freely as
OF yore. Have you ever visited Lake
county? fnot, you should, for if there
is one place more attractive than another,
one that eXcels in beauty and variety of
scenery, and of general interest 10 the
lover Of the beautiful, it is the picturesque
county of Lake. With its sheets of water
stretching away like great French mir
rorS, grand old mountains and valleys,
dotted here and there with sparkling riv-
ulets, beautiful summer resorts, mineral
springs, sunny skies and singing birds:
taking 1t upon the whole, it is, we think,
the most magnificent dwelling place pre-
pared by God for mans abode.
But, unfortunately, the little burg OF
Lakeport is possessed of an unlimited
number OF stoop-shouldered, gray-haired
Old gossps, who dawdle and potter
around from one Shanty to another relat-
ing all the gossip and scandal they can
manage 10 collect, and what they fail to
collect they deliberately manufacture.
II you ever come to Lakeport you must
join our Konocti Dancing Club. Jack
and ma and me belong, and don't we
have picnics, though. We gave q meetin'
last Saturday night, and ma and me went
IN and sat down on bench, and all the
boys were standing up, leaning against
the wall, and l asked ma why they didn't
SIT down, ana she said that their pants
were too tight Pretty soon little Jeru-
salem yelled: Partners for quadrille,"
and they all run in every direction and
such a confusion you never saw. Then
the pHettiest fiddler you ever heard be-
gan 10 fiddle and pat his foot, and wiggle
around, and [ asked ma what he was
wigglin' so for, and she said, "keepin'
time" Then the caller yelled balance
on the corners and swing your Honey"
Jacks partner was the star actress, and
Jack grabbed her in his fond EN- brace
and began to swing, and Jack surely
thought his life depended upon il, for he
swung with all his might, and the actress
got dizzy, and Jack stepped on piece OF
Iallow candle and slipped, and down went
Jack, actress, gingham dress and all in
one ignOminiouS heap oil the floor. The
really most graceful dancers are the
pleasant and ever-smiling landlord and
his estimable wife. AS he holds her
slender. graceful figure close to his own
stately one, she with her long, slender
chin resting on his loving shoulder, each
revolving to the sounds Of some beautiful
waltz, they certainly present a picture
! beautiful TO behold.
Tie landlord and his wife from the bay
We're there too. They come up about ten
miles in q cart and tie their horse to Il
bush down by the blacksmith shop.
They vigorously brush each others
clothes and then she steps to one side and
asks her dear il her hat is on straight
HeIovingly assures her that she looks
real cate and then she ties his red
cravat ana they are soon in the ballroom.
The stea&-cutter and the hash-slinger
with the graveyard complexion were
there, too, and the defeated Superior
Judge and the sentimental maiden. She
tells him about the wonderful things she
| saw when she was below and about the
| "cnte feller" she has on string.' ''But
| he is not half 50 cute as you-really, now,
sure.''
The fish-market man, the fiddler's
wife and the strawberry blonde passed
lunch. Each mad basket filled to the
utmost with bacon sandwiches, baked
beans, cornbread and cookies. Each and
everyone dives down and gets a handful
and, oh my, such happy repast! Then
pa comes next with the wator-bucket and
tin dipper. After supper we resume dam
cling till broad daylight.
You can get most anything you want
IN Lakeport-anything, from side of
bacon and sack of potatoes to bolt of
unbleached muslin, but be careful or you
will rent your clothing on a nail key or
rub up against a lard can and cause d
grease spot. The show windows are
beautifully draped and decorated with
red silk handkerchiefs. checked shirtin'
soap boxes and gingham.
Lakeport has dramatic club, too.
You just ought to attend some Of the
plays they render. Their last was "A
Scrap OF Paper" Pa, ma and me went.
and Pll tell You they done fine, only
some OF them got a little scared and
others seemed to forget their parts. AS
the crowd emerged from the hall they
were singing, Give back, give back, Oh,
give back my four-bits to men Ma
joined IN, too, but [ punched her in the
ribs and told her to hush. The swells
say that it was the best play that has
ever been in the State OF California.
They expect to play in Sacramento some
time in the near future, and the managers
of the Alcazar Theater in San Francisco
are making great preparations to receive
them. They expect to create great SEN
sation.
The bathing season will soon be here
and the old maids are beginning to pur-
chase calico for their bathing suits. The
academy girls continue to chew.
The strawberry-blonde, with the light-red
hair,
May smile on the butcher each day:
But she can't get ahead of the miinonaire's
wife.
Because she amt built that way
When you come to Lakeport. about 6
o'clock every morning you will see some
thing coming down the street. 1t wears
high-water pants, walks like it had the
govt, and carries a lunch basket. You
will think it is a Big Valley wood-chop-
per, but it is the cashier of the bank.
Lost-Somewhere in or about the vicin-
ity of L.akeport, long, sealskin cloak,
with band of tan-colored velvet on the
bottom. The finder will be literally re-
warded by returning to the office.
The grand old day king has already
disappeared behind the tall mountain
tops. and twilight is softly stealing in nv
snug little room, so my bon cbere | will
bid you dU Teooir till the robins nest
again. Dolly DELL,
Lakeport, March %, 1892
FoR an irritated throat, cough or cold,
Browns Bronchial Troches'' are offered
with the fullest confidence in their effi-
cacy. Sold only in boxes.