Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-07-13
HUSBANDS AND HOUSE-KEEP-
ING.
BY BETTY BARTON.


he said, over and over again, that any-
thing would suit. and he should not
care what he had for dinner, if only he
could see his dear Betty's face smiling
at him across the table," and all that
sort of nonsense. Don't take any
stock in it, girls. Love and dyspepsia
can't occupy the same house; and If
You cannot give a man q cheerful
home and good bill of fare, why, live
an old maid. and let him keep on din
ing at the club. 1t will be much bet
ter for both Of you.
But here / am, moralizIng away, in
stead of telling you my experience,
which will probably have more effect
on you than a dozen lectures. Well,
We had the dearest little house, a reg
ular ''love-in-a-cottage"a the bright
est spot IN it was the sunny little kitsh-
en-. How that new-paInted floor
did sbinei and the tin-pans on the
shelves reflected the sunbeams like so
many new silver dollars. l arranged
everything Just to suit me, and what
vows / made that place for every
thing, and everything in its place"
should dl,OayS be the rule of that do
main. L could not look forward in
Imagination to those days OF apostasy
when the eggbeater should repose in
the knife-box, tin basins hobnob with
TIE best china, and pewter spoons be
mingled with their silver cousins in
promiscuous confusion. A merciful
Providence spared me a vision of my
future degeneracy, and L cherished
the fond delusion that / would always
be a model housekeeper.
For a few weeks all went as merry
ss a marriage bell. To be sure, the
kitchen fire went out several times for
want of wood, and / had terrible
time with my fine new iron kettles
until some good old aunty told me to
boil hay in them. have since learned
something better than that, which is,
not to have any iron kettles at all
Save your strength by using the light
granite ware, or something of a similar
nature, and above all, never use an
iron tea kettle; they are the champion
woman killers. Then my iron sink
persisted in rusting, until 1 learned
not to wash it with soap, but instead,
to use greasy dishwater, and once a
week give 1t a good rubbing with ker-
pipe occasionally kept that clean and
picion of an odor, gave it dose of
copperas.
wasted great deal of backing on
my stove during the first year of my
housekeeping. Every day that ugly
expense of aching back, dingy fingers
and scorched face and what was it
after all this labor, but a big hideous
&IoN
washing in the dishwater every day,
and semi-occasionally the doors and
hearth get a bit of a rub. Don't be
shocked, my friend the model house
keeper. You may keep on polishing If
you will, but life is too short for me to
spend in that way, and 1 think too
much of my hands. A mop for dish
washing, and another for the stove, is a
wonderful saving for those overworked
members.
But the cooking was the worst
Adolphus bore up braTely for a while,
and swallowed all kinds of messes
without a wry face. The swill-bucket
in those days was feast of fat things
for my neighbor's pigs, garnished as it
was with losyes of bread, pans of bis
cult, leathery cake, and burnt gems.
Finally my patient husband rebelled,
and announced that he should take
his meals down town ifthere was not a
reform in the domestic regime. OF
course 1 called him brute, and shed
floods of tears; but after he had gone
to the Office, 1 decided that he was
right, as 1 am very apt to do. Putting
my pride in my pocket, 1 ran across
the garden to one of my nelghbors, a
kind, motherlv soul, and laid my diff
culties before her. bow they disap-
peared before her sensible suggestionsl
L will not encroach upon Cousin
Ceres provinces by attempting to
give many of them; but 1 do want to
tell you how to avoid that frequent
disaster of your cake sticking to the
pan. Do not bother with CREASED
paper, but just grease the pan we'll.
then dredge it thick with -four, and
turning it bottom upward, give it a
smart rap. All the superhuous -four
will fall off, and just enough will be
left. 1 found, too, that L must not
tramp about the kitchen or rattle the
stove covers when my cake was baking,
for the least jar might cause it to fall.
For the pies that would run out in the
oven, L learned to bind them with
strip of wet cloth. pressing it down Sc
curely. A little study of the drafts of
my stove enabled me to have less burnt
food, and the simple expedient of plsc-
ing dipper of cold water in an over
heated oven saved many disasters.
As 1 said before, Adolphus bore up
patiently under these varied trials,
and really began to think that 1 had
q model husband. But never be too
sure of man until you try him through
house-cleaning. That is the time that
tries mems souls, and women's sotes,
too, but the sterner sex are apt to think
themselves the most abused.
1t was a fine April day when / re-
solved to commence the ceremony.
Laboring under the delusion that ''the
hotter the war, the sooner the peace"
1 began operations by taking up every
carpet in the house, and turning all
the rooms into a state of chaos. When
Adolphus came home to dinner, the
only repast which greeted him, hungry
and tired, was bite of bread and cold
meat on a dusty corner of the dining
table, with the piano stool for a seat,
and the cheering prospects of the backs
OF all the parlor pictures piled up in
close proximity. With a look of de-
spair he exclaimed, "Betty, "what on
earth have you been doing. Do you
call This dinner?" with a contemptu-
GUS wave of his hand toward the table.
'fIt's all the dinner you'll get to-
day." 1 replied, little piqued at his
tonel 81 have had no time to cook
anything"
What the use of making such an
internal mess?" inquired my patient
husband with emphasis. "You women
do love to tear up things. Can't you
make me cup of coffee, at least?"
NO." was my equally emphatic
answer; the kitchen fire is all out, for
the m an is coming to move the stove
If you" but with a remark that
sounded very much like two dashes