The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-11-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

I1OL WELuET-A ldiilU SUM- uChs
A ward healer-The hospital doctor.
Puck.
The deer never goes faster than when
served as venison.-Puck.
In the race or life, it isn't the fast men
who come out ahead.-Texas Siftings.
The ferry companies seem to believe in
"small sails and large profits. Truth.
Derdita-"Did you kiss him1" Pene-
lope (ambiguously)-- --'Not much. Life.
The lazy laundress, as well as the
naunel-shirt, shrinks from Washing
Puck
Marriage isn't so much a failure as it
is a sort of compromise on both sides.--
Puck.
Some peoples idea of being religious
is to eat cold dinners on Sunday.-At.
Gibson Globe.
Julge-"Whst is your name?" Tramp
--"Allow me to exchange cards with
your honor. Texas Siftings.
$50 you have a new servant girl, " said
one housewife to another. eyes" "How
does she like youl"-Washington Star.
That was pretty hard story to swal-
low, said the cellar when the upper part
of the house fell into it.-TeXas Siftings.
The local thermometers have had but
little rest lately, as they have been rising
early and staying up late. .--Philadelphia
Record.
You no longer "taSe the wind out of a
mans sail" If you are au fait you take
it out of his pneumatic tires. Washing
ton Star.
The man who is always yielding to
temptation seldom finds any difficulty in
finding temptations to be yielded to-
SOmeryille Journal.
"Always use small words, my son."
said Mr.. WiIeman, "Then If you have
to swallow them you will be less likely to
choke"-Black and White,
Jack-''Many happy marriage has
been spoiled by money" Tom-"Yes;
it spoiled mine. She refused me because
didn't have enough. Puck.
"Just see how that stake yields to the
pile driver" "No wonder, replied the
Western man. "The pile driver has tho
drop on it."-Washington Star.
Sweet Patience on a Monumsnt,'
Sounds very pretty, we'll admit
But unsuccessful doctors see
More oft their patients under IT,
Puck.
clam often quite self-satisfed," said
Willie Washington. "Ah, replied Miss
Pepperton, "you deserve commendation
for your modest tastes. Washington
Star.
Choosing a wife is very much like or
dering meal in a Paris restaurant when
you don't understand French. You may
not get what you want, but you will get
something.-Colorado Sun.
Fannie-'T wonder why Miss Oldgirl
went into telephone office to work"
Will-"She probably thought 1t was her
only chance to get ring aud become en-
gagged. ~ Chicago lnter-Ocean.
She sat ON the ste IS At the evening-tide
Enioying the halny air.
He came ani asked: MAY 1 sit by your
side?'
Aud she gave him a vacant stare.
Cape Code Item,
"They say the child looks like me-"
said Gargoyle, displaying hls first born.
"He does-a good deal" replied CLAN
ders. "Stll, | don't think | would
drown him on that account. - lIarpcr's
Bazaar.
"Papa," asked little Ethel, after
season OF deep though, "didt you have
any idea that would go right along liv-
ing with you and being your daughter
the first time we were introduced2'-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Editors Son-'I asked papa when the
millennium was comm, an if Mars was
inhabited, an If it vas going to rain next
Fourth Of july an he said he didn't
know don't see how he ever got to
be an editor. Good News.
Mrs. Struokile-"Are these the very
best diamond rings you have" Jeweler
-"Yes, madam, they are diamonds of
the very first water. Mrs. Struckile-
al will take them il you are sure the
water was boiled first "-Chicago Inter
Ocean,