Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1892-08-13

kodHtS anu tJie, al Nhbso btuSS~'t A~''
Who loved us once and were beloved Of old,
To dwell with them and walk with them
anew.
In alterations of sublime repose-
Musical motion-the perpetual play
or every faculty that heaven bestows
Through the bright. busy and eternal day.
Thomas William Parsons.
PITH AND POINT.
The buoy is father of the seaman.
Little he rex-The King of Spain.
An old fashioned chest protector A
paddock. Knew York Observer.
You can't cure neuralgia by caving in
your face with sledge hammer.-Life.
, "Well, good,by w." said the luuatic, as
he started for the asylum-'Tm off. -
Puck.
To be slow to anger is better than to
own the best kind of seven shooter. -
Rams Horn.
loved girl of Juno sort,
But i'll luck did my suit befall,
Better have loved girl that's short
And never TO have loved tall
Judge.
She-"Why do you call me your pet
pastryp" He-"Because you're a little
tart occasionally. "-NeY York Jour-
nal.
The mean man likes the magazine
that tells women how to dress on
nothing year and look well.-Pica-
yune.
There is always room at the top; put
the average traveller prefers lower berth
on a sleeplng-car.-- Orleans Plea
yune.
1t is supposed that Americans 60
ahead qualities are due to the fact that
they have so much push while they are
babies. Texas Siftings.
. She may have little of this worlds pelf,
But life still pleasure brings
! And that's when she has day to herself
To go out pricing things.
New York Press.
= 'Is that a good do32' 81 used TO
think so, but l have my doubts now"
"Why2' "I've had him a month and
nobody has tried to steal him. Wash
ington Star.
Learned men tell US that in Latin the
word editor means "to cat" In the
United States it means to scratch around
like blazes to get something to eat. -
Texas Siftings.
Young Authoress Grading manuscript
aloud)-"But perhaps weary you2"
Enthusiastic Friend-"Oh, no; l long to
hear the end Of your story, Kate
Fields Washington.
"No," said Mrs. de Porque, eve
don't mind expense when it comes to
our library. Some of the books, I am
informed, are printed from diamond
type. "-Washiugton Star.
Now doth the giddy little fly
Begin to learu to slata
And finds his choicest rink upon
CLASSY, g'abrous pate.
Puck
Belle-''When did you first suspect
his INCONSISTENCY" Blanche-"When |
received his first letter" Balle-"W Why,
was it cold"" Blanche-"No; it was
type written. Texas Siftiugs.
. Doctor--"Tne trouble with you is that
you are suffering from irnpovished
blood" Patient--'T should think it
would be inpovishei. 1t has already
been examined by ten doctors. "--Detroit
Free Press.
While puni:hing for swimming trips
II wouldn be surprising
If father envied Just bit
The boy that he's chastsiug
Washington Star
Borus-"Youug Ardup dosen't seem to
have any bad habits That, at least, re.
bounds to his everlasting credit" Mr..
Howell (of the firm of Gettup y HowelD
-"'Not at this store. Thirty days is
the limit with us. Chicago Tribune.
What do you know of the character OF
this man7' was asked of a witness at a
police court the other day "Wnat do |
know of his character7 l know it to be
unbleachable, your HONOR he replied
with much emphasis. New York o.
server.
"That was great eulogy Of the mar
riage institution that Hinckley made in
his afterdinner speech last evening,
wasn't it" ayes, what lovely domes.
tic life he must have" mot much.
Hinkley's sworn bachelor. Chicago
News Record.
, Jessie-"If that bull should attack US
what could you do1n Toni could
reach that fence in less than two Sec
onds." Jessie-''Yes, but what could I
,do2" Tom-"Your parasol would keep
his attention until l was safely over. -
Texas Siftings,
/ A father was very much annoyed by
the foolish questions of his little son.
i"Johnny, you are great source of
annoyance to me. ~ "What's the matter,
ipal" "You ask me so many foolish
Questions. wasn't big donkey when
l was of your age" ''No, pa, but You've
grown heap since. Texas Siftings.
"You are going to build house, are
your What style?' 81 have not
thought of any particular style yet, but
| was counting up the number o; my
friends to-day and find have twenty
nine As soon as my intention to build
a house becomes known l shall have
twenty nine different styles from which
to choose. New York Press.