The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1892-04-08
ITALIAN couRTsnrP.
How Lovers Plight Their Troth in
Sunny Italy.

Italian lovers of the middle class find
many difficulties in loves path. Most
of them fall in love at first sight. A
young man catches a glimpse Of a girl.
and at once resolves to marry her; il il
is at church, he follows her home; if on
the balcony, he notes the house and be.
gins to haunt the street. If he is accept.
Itble, perhaps one day flower will fall at
mis- feet though the girl knows that such
Encouragement is unmaidenly. A lover
with good voice and ear has an i'm
mense advantage. He sings snatches Oh
love songs as he walks below, and if
voice above takes up the last note and
gradually passes to another song, he may
take heart Whatever difficulties he
may still have to encounter. an aversion
on the part of the object of his affection
will not be one of them. Very pretty
6irtations are carried on in this way, the
young lady at times mocking and teas.
ing her adnairer with fragments of satir.
cal verse, and at times falling into some.
Thing like sentiment; but they are moro
frequent after than before the betrothal.
Even the most favored lover has in the
meantime been seeking for some means
of establishing more direct intercourse
with the object of his choice. He has
made inquiries of the neighbors as to the
character of the family and its intimates,
and endeavors to obtain an introduction
to one of the elderly ladies who frequent
the house. To her he explains his wishes
and his position in life, and he then begs
ner to plead his cause.
If he is an eligible suitor, she is almost
certain TO consent. as the mission is an
interesting one, and the position is con-
sidered highly honorable. She knows
nothing of any little signs Of favor the
lover may have received, SO her first visit
is to the young lady, who feigns shyness
and a reluctance which it sometimes
takes weeks to overcome. At least
envoy is supposed to act thus; in fact,
there is generally perfect understanding
between her and the parents, though
they pretend to know nothing of what is
going on. After the maiden has given
what she considers sufficient proof Of
her modesty. she yields. The father is
then consulted, the principal conditions
Of the marriage contract are discussed,
and the betrothal takes place.
Such is the course of true love when Il
runs smoothly, as, in spite of all the aus
thorities to the contrary, it occasionally
does in real life If the maiden is coy,
the youth has more difficult task. He
endeavors to secure the good offices OF
some female dependant of the family, Of
an old nurse-old nurses play far
greater part in the family life of Italy
chan of England-or even, if no other OPP
portunity offers, of the washerwoman.
Such negotiations are generally kept
strictly secret, and if the young lady
shows marked aversion to the pro.
posed marriage they are dropped at
once. If she assents to it, the lover
sends one of his relations or friends.
who is as often as not a man, to speak
TO her father on the matter. No mem
lion whatever is made of the fact that
vhe young people have come to an un.
derstanding with each other, and the
father of course asks time to consider.
de consults his wife and daughter; il
their oppinion is favorable, and his in.
quiries as to the position and character
,f the young man lead to satisfactory re-
.ults, he signifies his willingness to treat,
and the betrothal takes place in due
course.
1t is considered very bad form for
man to appeal to the parents before he
has obtained at least the tacit consent
of the daughter, and if he makes the
mistake of doing so he is likely to pay
dearly for it. There are, however, oc-
casions on which such an irregularity is
excused. If the obstacles to any per-
sonal intercourse are great and time is
precious-if, for instance, the lover
learns that the lady of his choice is about
to take the veil-no blame attaches to
him if he acts abruptly, though he sub.
jects himself to the chance of semi-pub-
lie rejection by the girl herself, and this
is considered a great humiliation. The
direct appeal to the parents is, however,
most frequently made by elderly men
who possess greater wealth or occupy a
higher social position than the woman
they wish to marry.
A betrothal rarely lasts longer than is
necessary for the requisite preparations,
and the customs of different towns vary
greatly as to the way in which the
affianced pair are treated. In some
places the future son-in-law is at once
received as a member of the family; in
some he is at least invited to the larger
social gatherings; but in many it is
strict law of etiquette that he is not to
enter the house Of the bride from the
day of betrothal till that of the marriage,
OF to meet her except in public places.
The balcony, it is true, is still open to
the young lady, and from it she is free to
discourse with her lover on any subject
she may choose.
But conversation from first, or even
y second or third story with a person in
the street hardly possesses all the privacy
that lovers desire. 1t is therefore dur.
ing this period that the fiirtations in song,
to which reference has been made, usu-
ally take place, and that such adven.
lures as attend Southern courtship ara
achieved.
The lover endeavors to steal unobserved
into the house and meet the maiden in
out-of-the-way corners; but no girl with
any sense of propriety will consent to
such an interview unless an older
woman is also present A good natured
godmother, with habit Of doing, and
ON occasion can be conveniently deaf and
shortsighted, will often arrange and be
present at such meetings; and if the out.
side world is kept completely in the
dark. the parents rarely care to Interfere