davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

When the head of . mortal gets
turned it is always turned the wrong
way.-Galveston News
"A mans idea of practicing economy
is to preach it three times day to his
wife.-Atchison Globe.
After all, the best amateur actor is
the one who pretends to enjoy a piano
recitaL-Elmira Gazette.
The greatest triumph of mind is
when a man knows enough to mind his
own business.-Meridian Republican.
When man can't find his shirt but
ton on a Sunday morning his wife is
apt to have trouble with his choler.-
Binghamton Leader.
-Brace-.sBent is a man of brains,
but he is always head over heels liz
debt" Bagley-''That doesn't indicate
brains to me-" Brace-.'No? Posi- oily
you never tried tn. Y. Herald.
-Brown-'I believe that Smiths
baby viii grow up to be pugilist :"
Jones-'Why. has it remarkably large
arm and fist?" Brown-''No. but it
has remarkably large mouth.-kate
Fields Washington.
What Do You Think? - Charley
Horsey-I don't think 2:3o horse is
very fast. do you? Miss Tennis Cooking
at the clock}-Wel. its a great deal
faster than an 1880 man, don't you
thinke-Detroit Free Press.
How do you like my latest con-
tribution?" asked the poet of the editor.
Twice as well as l did the one be-
fore You measure closely" Yes
You see it contained only half as many
stanzas Washington Star
An Apology" Miss n, how
could you think that had ever said in
company that you were stupidr Quite
the contrary: whenever your name was
mentioned / was always the only one
VINO didn't say so. --Renchthaler.
-tIusher entertaining friendl-Ah,
dear. BOY. what can equal this-eh? A
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

man and wife. Whom God hath Joined
together let not man put asunder.'
''Involuntarily pulled out my watch,
without even stopping to kiss the bride.
1t wanted four minutes to twelve.
THAT ceremony had been performed
in thirty seconds! The preacher was
the first to break the silence, that you
can see must have been . little awk-
ward. by saying:
George, my horse is standing IN
three feet of water down by the branch.
l wish you'd get him up here
And / went. and didn't think any
thing strange about going either, for 1
had been used to taking care of his
horse almost all my life. Besides, I
knew that I'd taken care Of the main
chance already.
Mother was so grateful that she en-
dowed the little church Oh the pike,
made Parson Baker leave the active
work of his conference. and installed
him over it He breaches there every
Sunday afternoon. | think tho only
thing that bothers him to-day is, that
he was not called to conduct fathers
funeral service. The fact is mother
thought it would be cruel to drag the
poor parson out on his circuit before
his regular time. little thinking how
near she was coming toward disinherit-
ing me.
Now you know why am not slav-
ing in the city for three thousand
dollar living-or maybe less. Father
knew that I'd marry to save the farm,
and he also knew that, once had the
farm on my hands, Ia be too busy to
tinker with the law And he was
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL

If you lay up treasures in HEAVIER
you will be sure to want to go there
Rams Horn.
Reports from Japan indicate that
about four hundred people are baptized
in the protestant churches every
month.
The Cumberland Presbyterian
whose membership is mainly in the
middle southern states, increased over
5000 last year.
Priests of the Greek church are per.
mitted to marry. But if they do they
are debarred from rising higher than
! the priesthood
An exchange is responsible for the
statement that only TOO, 900 of the 800,
600 Catholic children in this country ara
in parochial schools.
$500, 900 additional, that salaries and
scholarships may be maintained and
that the buildings may be preserved
from decay.
"A missionary of the British Foreign
Bible Society tells of Bible meeting
held in Madagascar which was attend
ed by 1,246 persons, representing eleven
churches, and coming, some in canoes
and many on foot, a distance of from
ten to twenty miles.
The Cincinnati Methodist confer
ence has among its two hundred minis
tiers, three general conference secre-
taries, five college presidents, three ed
itors, four missionaries in foreign lands,
and one superintendent of missions in
South America. 1t takes the Ohio men
to get offices.
Two of the departments of Boston
University have opened the College of
Liberal Arts and the School of Theol-
ogy. In the former there are over three
hundred students. Extensive changes
have been made in the school of medi-
cine, charging it SO that its capacity IS
more than doubled.
Another specimen of very early
Christian literature has been discovered
THE Apology of Aristides." written.
as nearly as can be ascertained, in the
early part of the second century. It is
a defense of the Christians of that time,
addressed to the Roman emperor, Had
rian or Antoninus Plus.
There is in Anitate Turkey "pen-
ny school" for poor people, the teach
er's salary and other expenses of which
are raised entirely by penny oontribu-
tions from Christian women in the city,
and half-a-cent week from the chill
dren. To pay this small fee. many of
them often go without one meal q
week
Miss Gertrude Howe, for twenty
years missionary of the Women's For
eign Missionary society in Central
China. has returned to this country,
bringing with her five bright young
Chinese students, two young women
and three young men, to complete their
education and take medical course at
Ann Arbor.
The faculty Of Wesleyan Univer-
sity at Middletown. Conn, have taken
a decided position in regard to athlet-
les. They have issued an order that no
student who failed 10 pass his last ex-
animation and is now conditioned, will
be allowed to hold position in any of
the athletic clubs, or take part in any
of the contests.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
THE SANDY HOOK LOOKOUT.
4 Teleeraphic Watch for Arrivals
from Abroad.
New YSur Friends Know When Ten Are
Coming Home from Foreign
Parts-An Oid-Tfms
Servitor.

A man who has watched with great
deal of interest the coming of immi-
grants from Camp Low. the stretch OF
sand to the west end of Sandy Hook,
| is William De la Motto, the marine OBJ
server for the Western Union Tele-
! graph Company down there. The build
| Ing in which De Ia Motto works is fifty
feet high and is Of wood. Iron cables
or guy ropes prevent the wind from
blowing it over when it blows hard
across the sandy moors All the pilots
| who bring vessels into New York know
De Ia Motto. They speak of him as the
count. 1t is supposed that he belonged
TO some noble family abroad, but he
himself will never confirm this suppose
ton. He has been an observer for the
Western Union company for nearly u
quarter of century, says the New
York News. He was formerly IN the
employ Of the English government. He
has been stationed at Sandy Hook for .
dozen years Or so.
This is the most important signal or
sighting Office on the American coast
AL vessels bound for New York from
abroad have to p>As Sandy Hook 10 put
into the bay. None of them gets with
IN mile of the lookout station before
It has been identified and its arrival
telegraphsd 10 this city. Everything
that enters the bay il reported The big
ocean grcyhounds are spotted something
like half a dozen miles out 10 sea As
soon as the name of the steamer is
learned it is flashed over the telegraph
wires to New York. Those who have
made an ocean voyage or have friends
who have may recall that either they
or their friends have paid the Western
Union Telegraph Company one dollar
20 have the steamer On which they were
returning home reported as soon as
sighted. Few Of them have ever stopped
TO think how that information 10 OBJ
tanned, however II they had made
inquiry they would hare been told that
the marine 1T Sandy Hook bad spsed
the vessel heading for the entrance to
our hsrbor. During tie daytime this
observer is Count De IA Note
From seven In the morning till seven
~ night the count sits IN the little
room in the very top of the tall tower
down on the extreme poiat OF the Hook
alone with his telegraph Instrument
and bis big telescope. Around him. 20
far as the ere can see, il the ocean tbs
count Is constantly gazing out UPON
this endless expanee through lis big
telescope. II is powerful instrument
and will spy 8 vessel the rDonsens IL
shows It's spars above the horizon b
the time il Rets It's srnosesssck IN ssghs
the count has made out It's name lie
Goes NOT distinguish the name from any
letters that might be painted O, ts-
vessels bow He makes the name oct
from the ships genera appearance.
Z his ~ the couEts speciality. and Ee Is
&C adept az IL
From morning Until night the soras
keeps his ere. tie rsgEs. one glued sss
the oss-. ioug telescope. Re s.eers sh@
horizon slo.sig slsa tae glass Sos .
spot ca that portion % the ocean os
which be commands . vsez escapes bis
shssr-ssisn- As sceo - be nAsss cal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
BEATEN AT HIS OWN GAME.

How Skinflint Farmer Was 0utgensrai-
ed by the Parsoa's Little widow.
"Talk about pure grit said . WON.
an who was lunching the other day at
the Colonial club, 81 knew q woman
once who was full Of it"
Tell us about her," exclaimed the
other two women of the luncheon par
ty. who was she?'
why, she was my mother" answer
ed the first speaker. ''She was the Mt
tlest little woman ever saw. but there
was courage and fight enough in her TO
stock a regiment l don't mean that
she was nagging creature, making
trouble for everybody. She was the
sweetest, kindest woman in the world.
1t was only when somebody tried to i'm
pose on her or some Of US girls that she
came out as fighter Let me tell you
story about her, and you'll see what I
mean. We were living in Iowa when
my father, a minister, by the way, died
and left mother to manage farm and
care for big family of girls. The grain
was high in the field, and it had to be
cut at once. Mother entered into nego-
tiations with a neighbor. and was just
about to close trade with him when
she discovered that he was trying to
overreach-insisting on terms that were
exhorbitant and absurd. Mother told
him that she'd get somebody else to cut
the grain, and that made him so angry
that he was quite rude in his speech.
But mother shut the door in his face
and left him to have his sputter out all
by himself.
THAT night, about o'clock, mother
was awakened by = noise out In the
yard. She slipped out of bed and peered
through the window. There was that
same farmer engaged in taking down
the bars of the fence that surrounded
the field of grain that mother wouldn't
let him cut. The bars down. the man
went out into the road for minute,
and the next minute he came back driv-
ing yoke OF oxen, which he turned
into the field "
What did your mother say TO the
nan?" asked Times reporter.
She didn't say anything.
Didn't she tell him TO take the cat
tie right out of the field9''
No, indeed: that was not her way OF
doing things What she did FIRST was
10 dress herself Then she stole quietly
iown stairs and out into the yard
Then she went 10 The barn and get
an oxgoad Then she b1anied 70 The
grain field and drove the uxea gut
u it
''And then she went back 10 bed.
suppose" said one of the women Or
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
THAT FUNNY STORY.

he Didn't Hear 1t, but He Saw the PsinS
and ProAted Thereby.
He had had pretty hard day Of it
and had gone to bed early. Whom his
wife entered tho room he was sleeping
soundly, and no man likes to be awak-
ened half an hour after he gets asleep.
She was evidently amused 1T some
thing, and as she approached the bed
she exclaimed:
''John; Oh, John!"
He never moved
John! Wake upr' she persisted.
There's one of the funniest Incl
dents
He still slept and she began to shake
him.
John, Listen to mel" she cried
He mumbled something and she shook
him again He opened his eyes and
gruffiy asked what the trouble WAS
There's the funniest story in one Of
the papers," she said. Its about Gold
dust. the millionaire, and it makes me
laugh every time think of it. Ill tell
you about it"
mo, you won't" he exclaimed hotly.
''What in thunder"
why, john
81 suppose you think it's joke to
wake me up out of sound sleep to tell
me some foolish story. What do you
think / went to bed for?'
Don't you want to hear II, john
she asked in surprise.
NO, don't"
Dear me, she said in . puzzled sort
of way, don't you really like 70 be
walked up in the middle Of the night to
hear story any more than / Dc when
get TO bed irst?'
He glared at her and she retreatsd,
but she knew that the shot had gone
home. He doesn't wake her up any
more and expect her to laugh a. some
joke or story he heard at the club. De
troit Free Press
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
SHOW Him We Mercy.

Boys, what's the frcuble?r asked .
man who had come upon . Kentucky
iynching party
This chap killed his father
.-Oh. well. the old man would have
had u de se1ne time"
--Ege killed his brother, too
.--rhstS nothing rnnch- Cain did
sfsat. bat nobody lynched him
Bat ne stole mule too
.-You don't say. String him upT-
jury.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

right. got the girl I would have
tried to get anyhow, and that part Of
the deal was tho best part for me, after
all. But may l never raise you another
colt if the old parson wasn't a sight "a
he came smashing over tho fence, al
though thought at tho time he was
the handsomest object in the uni
verse. Prairie Farmer
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

GonsofsEs
81 paid the man for finishing the els
tern this morning. josiah" said Ar.
Chugwater. .'2nd il took the .ast cent
there was IN the bonse.-
"Eever mind that, Samantha re-
piled VIZ. Cnug water, soothinyiy. we've
20. something for rasny DAY a. Ias.- /"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

Chicago Clergyman las the bride
groom hands him his feel-Four dol
lars, please
Bridegroom-But thought your fee
was only two dollars?
Clergyman-It is TO regular custom
erx. but you do not pasronize me regu-
larly-Texas SiftingA
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

No one is real smart unless he can
talk intellsgently to stranger without
mentioning the weather.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
w. C.. WILLIAMS.

119 East Douglas Ave, Wichita Kaps
Wholesale and Retail Gun Dealer
Sporting Powder In lots of four Kegs
s. 80 per Keg. +. q. L.. Wichita
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
SPRAlNS.

MT. PLEASANT, TEXAS,
June 20, 1SSs.
Suffered S months with
strain of back; could not
walk straight; used two
bottles of
st. Jacobs Oil,
was cured. No pain in
Is months.
". ]. WALLACE,
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

VIE There Ne has~AshS1r
Trivvet-A GOOD many people ere De-
handing the abolition Of walking dele
gates
Dicer-True, and n the walking dele
rates follow their usual procedure there
viii Be some dueia
Trivvct-Why7
Dsccr-wen. they are socvsso@e1 10
call uz<u out IL uHre
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

Brown-Yon show . good deal OF
boyish enthusiasm over your cosningI
trip to Europe Why. you've crusssd.
several times before. hsvenr you7
Eobberts-Yes, bat IL h my hrst trip.
without my wife
Brown might havo known thss,
/ nrt POUR wife yesterday, and ! never
saw her look 50 happy~Texas sifsins>-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15
Getto McClung Boot and Shoe Co
1875 and 1877 N Market ST.

and Wichita
o. hand
Goods sold a
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

.klARRlEp.
e NV sta2Ek

v E r Y j u n e,
usually between
the LIST and 18th,
I make my vaca-
ton trip to the
stock farm OF
George Barnett.
a few miles out
of THE thrifty lit
tie city of Mar
ion. Ohio. 1t is
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

tho name OF 8 vessel appruaehnG hd
quite his eyegiass long enough 20 tale
graph thu fact 70 the ship nsws oH3os
down ct the bstssry end ths man In
charge OF tho marine department. Of tas
Western Union Telegraph Company
The latter then sends oat his message
announcing the sighting Of ths sseszner
of Sandy Hook The health ozSeer al
Quarantine Il also notified
Al seven o'clock De II Hotse il ~
neved by the night cverseer, who also
keeps up similar performances all
night No matter how dark or how
thick the night N. this man - on tho
loo<ont for incoming vessoiA lie dis
<inguishes them t5 indivk3sal signal
lamps which they carry. Long before
these signals are visible 10 the naked
eye the night overseer dseovers them
with his powerful gi.sA
De II Motto Nves In . neat little cot
tage near the tower. u - rarely that
he icsves The sandy shorcs Of Tho Hook
Hin food 10 sent down 10 HIM from tho
city. and his visiton ere OCCASIONAL
Newspaper m<n from IhGs c1ty. he IN
in constant touch with ehe world
through the telegraph. ia - far swss
from IL as on q desert Island
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-15

CRUISES.
PrrrsBuRe, PA,
92Wylie Ave-. Jan. 9,'S
One of my workrnen fell!
from a ladder, he sprained
and bruised his arm very
badly. He used
St. Jacobs Oil
and was cured il foui
days.
FRANZ K. GOELZ
- n - aide
, 1892-02-24

The funeral of the Duke of Clarence on
Wednesday at Windsor was a stately but quiet
ceremony. the Queen being reluctantlv persuad-
cd, by advisers who deserve the thanks Of the
community, to abstain from attending. The
body was carried from Sandringham to the
parish church, where a memor;al service was
performed, attended, among others, by all the
FrincesSes, and was then carried on a gun.
carriage to Wolferton, in a procession headed
by the Primo of Wales. Thence it was con-
veyed by railway to Windsor Station, and thence
again., IN procession, to St. Georges Chapel,
where the final ceremony was performed. This
was attended By all the English Princes, by
representatives of all the Royal families con
nected with the DuEe-thuS including the
German and Russian, but excluding the Aus
TRAN and by a numerous group of dignitaries
of the realm, which did not, however include
Lord Salisbury, who was confined at home
with acold. No ladies were present, as the
funeral was military but Prince George, in
spite of his recent illness, walked by his
fathers side. The burial Service was read
BY the Bishop of Rochester, and the scene is
described as one of the most striking solemn.
ty. In London, the suspension of business
afterz O'Clock was almost universal, nearly all
the pisces of public amusement were closed,
ana 81; PauPs and Westminster Abbey, where
memorial services were held, were thronged
beyond all precedent. 1t is noted that in all
: crowds no one smoked. A similar cessation
OF business and similar memorial services
marked the day in all the capitals Of the
Empire, and from its most distant points,
that is, from every corner Of The world-the
rain of kilograms of coincidence has been inces-
SAINT. Tn entire British people, in fact,
teep'y pitt the bereaved-Spectator Jan. %.
, 1892-02-24
aTHE A ls0
Is published Ecery

10 UAONtoitSA
weane@day &c Saturday
Terms Of subscriptions
edoIars per annunn, payable h~alf.yearly
n3nqTIeo CONES to non.subscribers, g cents.
Parties DESTROYS Of Withdrawing their subscription to
te FUie are required TO give 3 months notice.
Terms OF Adverttstng,
-c,,roved by Government 25th June
pr an advertisements of q lines or under, L to q insor
tions-
Small Type (Breyier) | to 9 lines. S1.o9
arca Tvpe. Long Primer Small Plea
G"pica and Columbia. / to 8, lines ........-. 100
Over g lines. pr. lin e --........-... 10
For a. line of the largest type --.,.. .-..-..-- .46
vor ono to three subsequent insertions the halt AMOUNT OF
1hese charges will be made.
rS All advertisements for insertion must be delivered at
tbs Office on Tuesdays * Fridays not later than
lis Office nom West End or 81. Thomas lulSt be prepaid
or no notice viii be taken ~ them.
IN Special Contracts will he made with parties who may
Re wishful to advertise yearly, h~alfYearlv, or quarterly.
no cannot pay any attention
10 nnOnS NOUS communications; every article must DO
tiou. Lut NJ ali evidence of authenticity, aud for our own
security and it must he distinctly understood that when a
,ouInlnication il inscl Ted, the editor does not therefore
ueceasai liz agtpe with the opinions expressed by the writer,
We cannot undertake To- return nor preserve rejected manu-.
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Inn prIATfAi, ezecutcl at this Ohce with aoAtaoss-
JVb lhiNllAu ana dnapatcu. T..
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1892-02-11

economy" The proposition looks li.e
sooo one When the next Legislature
meets it will be necessary to nerfso,
our laws and such convention cou1s
40 n'''a'e a set of Recommendations
! ,ha' would be invaluable in sb,ninn
observation-disclosures
Inc Indians last week stopped the
men WHO We're WORKING on the new.
WAFER works system on Mink creek
uu' 'he matter was made so Main 10
'hem that they We're entirely in the
WRONG that they finally stubbornly do.
s's'eo' Out Judging from their actions
WIN the intention of hinderipe tho
progress OF the scheme to resume sor,-
ou' again they were foiled by the in.
c'elnency of the weather, and thew now
nave concluded to wait until word ;s
received from Washington, d. G. ss,
tllng for good the Indian question. Bv
'hat time the weather will have mod.
Grated, and much laryer force will, he
put TO work. After definite word has
oeeh received from the National capitol
all Indians attempting to modest the
Workmen will be Immediately arrested
these men have perfect right, by the
provision of section 10 of the poca,ello
lowns'te bill. published in last weeks
lriouhe, to perform this work any.
Wilerc on the reservation; and Aren't
flsher will avoid it, if he has to bring
10 The scene whole regiment of sol.
diers. Those in charge of affairs are
loud in their praises of Agent Fishers
actions. He is satisfied they are right
III the premises, but asks that opera-
tons cease, until he learns what dis
posal he is to make with those of the
Indians who claim the aqueduct should
not be built through their land.-Poca.
teilo Tribune.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1892-02-11
Wages in Spain.

There are among Spanish mechanics
some who get but $3.50 weekly in re-.
turn Tor years of expensive education.
From 500 to $1,000 will be found to be
the average moderate remuneration for
the ordinary Spanish engineer. OF
course there are engineers, again, whose
annual totals go beyond $1,000. Work
ing sixty hours per week, they will re-
ceive but $500 to 500. Only the extra
good hands get the larger amount. As
living is not cheap in the towns (about
the same as in Paris or other big
French villies) they are obliged to
either go a rather long way to their
suburban homes or, if living in the
city, to live poor and have less food and
less pure air. Pudders only earn three
and one-ha!f to four pesetas daily. All
salaries a.o usually paid fortnightly.