The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-01-25
QUEER TELEGRAPH MESSAGES.
Pathetic and Ludicrous Side OF Things
at the Onerator,s Windnru

Pathetic and Ludicrous Side OF Things
at the Operators Window.
Probably it is the sense Of the incon-
gruous that takes effect, but it is certain
that death messages are more often ridic-
ulous than any other, says the Washington
Post. Surely it was a dutiful and sympa-
thetic child who wired Mamma kicked
yesterday; will try TO make burial Mon
day, and the number OF people who do not
hesitate to make funeral arrangements
while the prospective corpse is still alive IS
simply astounding.
I'VE are all we'll but Sam. and he died
yesterday" was probably indicative only
OF the sender's desire to break the news
gently-not Of any fears for SANS" fut-
ure happiness.
And it is scarcely TO be supposed that any
ghostly visitation induced the communica-
ton; Your mother is dead and wants you
to come home.n
Just send five to help me; am starving
by telegraph" was the cry of one impecun-
ious soul, and the wonder has been since "a
to the exact method Of procedure in a case
of starving by telegraph
Another source of amusement to the tele-
graph operator is in the curious names
which come up in the course of business.
When MRS "Whetstonen and Mrs "Firm-
".
ton arises as to their possible relationship:
and whether Mr.. "Morningstar" and MIR.
"Winternight" are neighbors might be an
interesting discussion.
Mr.. Raspberry Smith, gives internal
evidence Of Afro American nomenclature,
and "Gcoseberry" is, beyond all dispute,
the name of a colored family. NJ. "Rich-
wine" and MIR. "Casbier" might easily be
Germans, but the nationality of the ''Bone-
hraQlyau and fha ttl 1OnH ha nAONr h.
to guess. Even "Humbird" comes in occa-
sionally, and "Bosshardt" is too suggestive
to be pleasant
In offices where the operator must be also
the receiving clerk many odd incidents &C.
cur to enliven the routine of business.
An old colored man went painting into a
telegraph office once and indicated his desire
to telegraph a small package that he held in
his baud. He met with blank unbelief all
the statements to the effect that such a
thing could not be done, and persisted in his
request
tits just got to gol" he exclaimed.
They're my wife's teeth. She went off
and forgot 'em, aud I've got to get em &c
her on the train" After some ten minutes
discussion it was a sadder and wiser old man
who shufled slowly out of the office.
Drunken men, too, furnish their quota of
odd sayings and doings for the amusement
of the te.egrapher.
Say, what'll you send message for my
wife at M" inquired an intoxicated Gus
toner Of the operator.
Twenty-Five centsl Why, Pm one OF the
| boys in bluel Can't you make it any less p
The operator refused to cut rates, and the
| customer who had imbibed too freely de.
cided to stand the expense, although grum-
bling. YOU'D take the bread from the
mouth OF one Of the boys in blue!" "You
write it for mel" was the next demand.
"It'S to my wife," he went on; never mind
the address; now, that's none of your busi.
ness where she lives"
Being induced to give the necessary des.
tinatioH, he continued: TELL her III be
home" "When shall say you'll be homes
prompted the temporary amanuensis.
"Well, tell her I'll be home"-Qong pause
"be home when come. and tell her &c
answer; II I've got to pay for this she has
to pay for one, too" BE home when
come answer" read the long-suffering op.
| orator.
Can say any morea" inquired the boy
in blue from M. Upon being informed
that he still had a margin within the 25-cent
limit for message, he leaned over the rail
ing toward the desk and whispered confiden.
TALLY: Say, tell her I'm drunk, but amt
| locked up yet"