Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1892-03-25
BAD.
TAXPAYER.

Jagson says the man who goes to the
bad generally goes for good,-Elmira Ga
zette.
First Citizen-What do you think is the
chief advantage that Jay Gould derives
from his wealth,
Second Citizen-Tt exempts him from the
necessity of riding on his own elevated
road.-Life.
thomson doesn't brag about that bright
boy of his any more" No" 'Isn't he
bright any more," "Well, he says about
the same sot of things all the time, but he's
got to the age when they're saucy."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Excited Messenger-Pat, that curly
headed Corsican fiddler has run off with
your wife. Pat (smoking away imperturb-
ably)-Be gum, them furriners is satisfied
wild most anything puff, If they can only
sthale it (puf), amt theya-Chicago Tri-
bune.
Fond Mother-I do so hope that George
has studied hard at college. 1 have tried
to impress upon his miud the value of a
liberal education. Father-Tm afraid, my
dear, thstryou have rather overdone the
matter. had to send him check for ESQ
to to-day.-Funny Folks.
Rev. Mr. Extempore-My hearers, 1 shall
uaNo ~ aSh SOdi ihodiSeHSo loE u ie"
utes. 1 forgot my manuscript, and have
sent my little boy for it. His son, mount
ing the pulpit Gn loud tone)--Mamma
couldn't find the writin', but here's the
book you copied it from -Tid-Bits.
Street Car Driver (mysterionsly)-
young woman wot got in ut Tenth street
and the other young woman wot got in at
Eleventh street is both company spoilers.
Look out fer y'self.
Conductor (confidentially(-Ths all
right. I'm engaged to both of 'em.-New
York Weekly.
"Ahal You begged dime of me to get a
meal, and here find you buying drink
| with It'll" exclaimed the experimental phi.
lanthropist. mot much you don't, an
swered the object, throwing a dollar on
| the bar. "Thst there dime o. yourn meb-
be won't be spent for week. I'm not
| one of them spends their money as
soon as they earns it t."-Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
"Your son Tom is not looking well. II
mo; poor fellow, he lost twenty-five
| pounds since he accepted position in the
elevated railroad" Does he have to
work 80 hardf" 'Its not work that is
making him thin" What is it, theni''
"Well, you know, whenever an accident
occurs he has to keep his mouth shut or he
will lose his position. ."-TeIas Siftings.
Mrs Morton angrily)-Tommy Horton,
what made you hit my little Jimmy
Tommy Horton-He struck me wild a
brick. Mrs. Morton (more angrily)-
Well, never let me hear Of your hitting
him again. If he hits you, You come and
tell me. Tommy Horton (sneeringly)-
Yes; and what would you dos Mrs. Nor.
ton-Why, I'd whip him! Tommy Hor.
ton lin disgust)-What! he hits me wild a
brick, and you have the fun of lickin' him
fer itl Not muchl-Puck.
| Answers to Correspondents girl
The bitters are put in after you have
filed the mixing-gl with chopped ice
Actor-Apply weak mixture of smmonis
and water to the spots where the eggs
struck the garments Wsshington-Un.
| questionably the wife of the private secre-
tary of the third assistant postmaster gen
| eral takes precedence of the wife of the son
of the janitor of the Smithsonian institu-
tion. Mrs. N. E., Boston-We think the
| pie should be served after the beans, al.
though among some of Boston's 400 thi.
order Is reversed. G. A. R.-Of course we
| are in favor of increasing the appropria.
tiops for pensions. We were born during
the war ourselves and expect to file oui
application next week. Colonel-Tou
need not fee the country. No law has yet
been passed making the Keeley cure com.
pulsory.-Lifs.