West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-05-12

! ihSS 10 really something J. can
not explain. Every time have
offered for Office / have been quietly
laid to rest in my political grave,
and L have particularly noticed
while there are numerous monrners
among the rank and file of the party
at my early and untimely demise,
the leaders Of our party never wear
Grape on their campaign hat, which
is customary to do as token of re-
spect for the departed"
At this juncture the Doctor was
called away to visit the sick. so |
drlfted over to the postofflce to have
chat with local Boss joe Miller,
who is known among his acqunint-
ances as perpetual talking ma
chine. | found him to be very gar
rulous, but withal very clever
fellow.
81 dropped IN to have you decide
wager | had with gentleman out
side, Mr.. Postmaster. 1t is simply
this: He bets me you have belong
cd to every political party from the
time of Adam up to the present
time" 1 sand, IN the way Of intro.
ducing politics, which the Boss
prefers next to an Office.
"You lose your bet, / am happy
to say, but to-day / am Billy
Dawson-J ohnny Wanamaker Re
publican postmaster / have had a
varied experience with political par
ties, for have been a member of
every political party since the days
OF Adam, when he first fused with
Eve. In my early youth / was
firmly convinced that / was born to
hold office, ana have never changed
my mind on that point. have
been unfortunate, however, for ev-
cry party | joined and asked Office
from turned me down. Ny perse
verance has conquered at last, for
under the Comrade Harrison adj
ministration Bill Dawson gave me
the Tunnelton postofice, and if all
signs don't fail, will be elected
Justice at the coming election"
"This reminds me that once upon
"a time you fought against Bro.
Dawson. Did you finally lick him
in your gouge-as- gouge can fight
and make him surrender the post
Office ?"
"No, l was put to sleep in the
first round, and when | recovered |
found that Mr. Dawson had es-
capped with the postofiice. When
recovered sufficiently so I could trod
the county road from here to King
wood, ! made haste to apologize to
Mr.. Dawson for my greenness in
trying to fight a professional. [
hnmbly begged pardon and agreed
from that time forward to be subject
to his orders if he would give me
the postofiice. With that magma
nimity for which Mr.. Dawson is
famous he agreed to do so. So here
| am fighting for Dawson, the Tun-
Melton postoilice and Justice OF the
Peace, said Boss Miller, as he took
a chew of scrap and offered me the
pouch.
"Have you any trouble in keep
ing the boys in line ?" ! remarked,
as the Bose Postmaster handed out
a dozen copies Of the New York
Tribune to gentlemen who had call
ed for their mail and refused to ac-
cept them until they were assured
that the paper was paid for. They
said they had never subscribed for
the paper.
eyes, l am having some trouble
with Tommy Hawker and Sammy
Hardesty at the present time. They
both want to run for Constable.
After using up several bags of SCRAP
have decided to run Hawker.
Tommy says the old dun is good for
the race if the II. K. & f. engine
don't knock her off the track. lie
has already killed three horses try
ing to butt the II. X. s. 4. engine
of the track. But | cannot recon.
cile lIardesty. lie threatens ia
smash his spoctaclcs over Hawker's
old dun the Grst time he catches
the old criter in town, if / don't let
him run. This will ncccssitate tho
arrest Of lIardesty for cruelty Ia
animals. You must really excuse