The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-07-01

thousand eight hundred ninety two
we, the Seniors of the Bloomsbury
State Normal School, being, through
the testimony of the faculty of said
Normal School in sound physical
condition-less so in mental ability
and considering the uncertainty of
our future whereabouts, since it is ap-
portioned to all scholastic, sheep
skinned individuals to flee hence from
future mental taxability, do make and
ordain this our last will and testament,
that is to say, principally, and first OF
all, before it is to late, we commit
and depose our gigantic mental ability
into the hands of the school directors
of the commonwealth, and the dis
posal OF our ignorance and short
comings, we surrender to the entire
discretion Of our friends the Faculty
who recommend us to said school
officials.
With respect to our worldly estate,
we bequeath, and dispose OF it in the
manner and proportions herein follow
ing to wit.
First since the 'brain.testers" have
determined the exact standing of us
their ''mental paupers" and by means Of
rigid examinations enabled the state
officials TO determine whether one
knows more or less than the law re-
qulres, we give and bequeath to our
beloved Juniors all the mental ap.
! pliances necessary to add to the
domain of their intellectual acquire
ments, such scholastic attainments as
will enable them to pass the examina-
tions next June. 1t being our earnest
desire that the aforesaid Juniors shall
go through the process of milling
and examining" unscarred, ready to
salute their brother Seniors from a
year hence, in the new world Of infant
care and sorrow, and with the proper
degree of assumed dignity and self
importance, fire the guns of captured
honors, we give and bequeath, in
this our last will and testament, 70
these, our beloved Juniors, all the
dangerous chemicals and peculiar APP
paratus of the physical department,
that they may, being thus equipped,
meet the enemy more valiantly.
To the aforesaid Juniors,we further
give and bequeath all the Manual
Training utensils, consisting Of cool.
headed business trash, az follows, to
wit, namely Jack screws, eagle. eyed
chlsels, square rs, jack.saws, rip
planes, cross-cut nails, boring machi-
mes, bench-dogs, and all other ill-ds.
gulsed instruments too numerous to
mention. Also the machine for bor-
ing holes in macaroni and other similar
delicacies shall be bequeathed to the
aforesaid Juniors, wholly and without
reserve.
The Manual Director is the 'Nuc-
leus" to the "protoplasmic" mass of in
dustrlous toilers who are thus finely
equipped for "metric" and botanica!
manipulation and other equally neces
sary requirements. This being your
necessity and our pleasure, we the well
wishers ofyour future accomplishments
In the said Manual Art" give and be.
queath the aforesaid articles.
We further bequeath to the afore-
said Juniors all the little innocents'
OF the Model school, who, We trust will
be led and cared for as we'll under your
tear mingled guidance as when we,
the said Seniors, paved their brilliant
pathway to the end Of our journey.
We still further bequeath and make
to said Juniors, in proper form, ac-
cordlng to law, all the happy hours &C
casioned by the constant interview of
the Senior studies. No one Of us has
been destitute Of conscience or moral
stamina as to indulge in the use of
'deslccated ponies. Such integrity is
without parallel in the history of our
school. We, the aforesaid Seniors,
have therefore no other advice to give
you than to trust TO your Senioritic
enthusiasm as the great example for
your future success and prominence.
After our departure from the school
the aforesaid Juniors are apt to lose
the refinement they have been able to
accumulate by our presence. We
trust, therefore, they have imbibed as
sufficient quality to uphold them until
the end of next year, when they can
again accumulate a new supply by
coming in contact with the returning
alumni Of the school.
TO our generous and liberal cooks of
aforesaid Normal School under whose
reign we had such ample opportuni.
ties OF improving ungratyfed appetites
and developing the ''store houses" of
constitutional vitality by our total alb,
stlnen2e &c from dyspeptic delicacies, such
as iancied pies, far-fetched cakes and
the like, we unreservedly give and be.
queath highly authorized recipe for
nerve tonic" setting forth the requis
ties for compounding ahighly digestive
"egg-fip." BY following the directions