The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-01-19
pIrH AND POINT.

4
-Jagson says It's a long loan that hn,
no returning.-Elmira Gazette.
-Doctor-"No man has to die mort
than once" Maud-'Aren'tyo you sorry?"
Life.
TO the indolent man every move.
mc9t is labor movement.-Boston
Courier.
"A politician left alone with his con.
science sees mighty little company
Texas Siftings.
"A lawyer generally feels himself
competent to break any will except his
wife's.-Boston Courier.
Hardly week passses but we are
constantly surrounded by perils seen
and kerosene. Texas Siftings.
/ "A young man who has just been
accepted" eXultingly remarks that he
is now a member of the weekly press
Lowell Courier.
Miss Bond-"Don't you think that
Mrs. Blank is somewhat affected?"
Mr.. Young-"I think that her head may
be."-Lowell City.
Men judge mans religion by his
actions outside the church, and the
women judge it by the brilliancy of his
prayers Naturalization Globe.
-IIe-'What beautiful figure Miss
Swectly has!" Shelves; the dress.
maker says it is SO easy to build upon
SO angular, you now."-Boston News.
1t always. spoils the effect of the
sermon on man when he intends to
put nickel on the plate and absent
mindedly puts on u quarter. buffalo
Times.
-Maudie GOOD grncious l. think
there is n man following close behind
us" Jennie-"Well, don't walk SO
fast, dear: He never can catch up with
us."-N. Y. Telegram.
-Jinls =" Cholly doesn't seem to
have any presence of mind" Filxins-
mo, but it's all his parents fault.
They didn't present him any."-N. Y.
Herald.
-Primn Facie Ev idence--P Priscilla
"Jncl tried to kiss me last night, and,
do you know, believe he had been
drinking" Angclina-'IIc must have
been '-Br andon Bucl1saw
You will excuse me for saving SO.
Miss Hawkins, but you have u beautiful
foot" $50 I've been told, Mr.. Sappy-
and perhaps you will excuse me for
saying that you ought to see pnpa's."-
N. Y. Herald.
-"Ow, WOW" exclaimed verdant
gunner, as his borrowed bird-dog dashed
between his legs and dumped him in
the stubble; 'they told me that was a
setter, but it seems to me he's more of
mn upsettcr. boston Courier.
Saved. Nippcr fell overheard
on the ferry this morning, buthc didn't
drown" II wonder ut it. He told me
he couldn't swim Il stroke" ''IIe can't.
AS soon as he struck the water he
closed his water-tight compartments"
N. Y. Sun.
Jones (rcading aloud)-"'A true,
good, noble woman is ever ready to
make herself doormat for the man
she loves?' All, Dolly, those are the
women who make the best wivesr' Mrs.
j. (who is not of this typc)-'.Yes, dear,
and the worst husbands!'-
Family Jars.-NIr. Luscher-"It's
time to get up and make the fire. I've
been chilling you for the last half hour.
| don't believe you'd awaken ut the
sound Of Gabrielle horn" Mrs. Luscher
you would then. You'd walzcn
at the first suggestion of horn
Brooklyn Eagle.
-Landlady Starting the conversa-
tion) -"lIow absurd the ancients were,
when we think of it. They actually be-
lieved that the souls of the dead en-
tered birds and animals" A Brutal
Boarder-"Not hing absurd about that.
Take this chicken we are eating, for in
stance. 1t was probably inhabited by
the sole of shoe. Picls-Me-Up.