Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1892-01-17

year. 1t Is also NOudu hisns
year In q peculiar sense. she mas the
right, by the exercise OF her prerogatlve,
TO leap without being asked from the
unmarried state into the pool OF matrl-
mony, by simply saying to the object oil
her attack: won't you marry me?'
Her ambition to be in the matrimonial
swim takes 10 cogniZance OF defeat.
The leap-year woman is usually OF that
uncertain age which makes II somewhat
risky subject to dwell upon. She is not
as a rule. charming person, ana the
tender element Of romance Is ooliter-
ated, from the fact that she Is con
fronted," as Mr.. Grover Cleveland
would say, "by condition, and not
theory"
Should the object of her attack, when
asked TO marry her, reply: 81 Will =
not" an action at law may take the
form of summons and complaint, and
IL then becomes question for him TO
consider whether IL would have been
cheaper for him to say IL will" than to
take his chances OF paying unreasonable
damages for saying, II won't"
The most eminent medicO-legal juriSts
are comparatively silent upon the bear
ing which leap year has upon the female
marrying mind. | am told, however,
that hysteria is not an unusual accom-
paniment TO leap year marriage pro-
posal. Swoons have been offered in
evidence as proofs OF shock to the feel
ings Bnd the agony caused by a phleg-
matte and cold-blOoded refusal on the
part of the man that wouldn't marry
because he was asked.
Such cases, however, are rare, for any
leap year woman that knows her bust
ness, isn't going to get left in that FASH
ion. Leap year, in some respects, Is
analogous to a Presidential election
year, inaSmuch as it is disturbing ele-
ment, and interieres to a certain extent
with business. For what woman in her
sound senses is going to pay fifty-dollar
fee to matrimonial agent when she has
the right to settle the question for her
self without paying cent?
Then again, look at the composition
OF the matrimonial cabinet, and COM
pare il with It's Presidential prototype.
Quite frequently IL is the wife who
makes the President, runs the Admins
Iration.
The grammar and poetry OF love in
leap year differ from the grammar and
poetry Of love at any other time. Du
ring this period woman governs man In
the objective case, and sometimes wo-
man Is held very strongly In the objec
tive case by the man. Her tense is the
present; now is the accepted time with
her. Her mood, which begins with the
inlinitive, has tendency TO veer round
10 the imperitive after she is accepted.
Her verb ITO love" is merely transitive
in the contemplation Of its joys. Her
adjectives and sdverbs always harvest a
full crop during the leap-year period.
"Much," more" and "most" are merely
preliminary degrees OF comparison be-
fore marriage, and after 10 she adds
"all," in order to complete the SET
The poet hath said, Love is blind"
but don't believe il. Woman Is as wide
awake in Leap Year as an owl at mid
night. IL is the man who suffers from
amative myopha-not the woman. The
more numerous the number OF her un-
married sisters, the more closely will
she hug her leap-year chance for all 1t
is worth.
/ speak strongly upon the subject, be-
cause have braced myself up In these
seasons OF leap year TO refuse half
dozen offers. The last one required q
supreme effort and several strong slim
ulants, but ! can now look back upon
them with equanimity. And here /
would say word or two about leap
year 1irtations. Sheet-iron affection is
the kind that is mostly Ia vogue among
leap year women. True, IL may be
nickel-plated, but the iron is there Just
the same, be the plating ever so thickly
laid on. In little churchyard in the
village OF Chesney, Lincolnshire, in
England, once read the following cpl
woman, aged fifty:
She loved but Little here below,
Nor loved that Little long.
don't know whether the marriage
ever came of, but II seems 10 sum up
so admirably the brevlty Of leap-year
affection that / quote 1t.
And what shall be said OF the man
who hasn't the courage 70 bluff leap
year offer? II he is Of q weak. yascil
lating nature the chances are ten 70 one
that he will be gathered In. And IL
serves him right. Such fellows are
just the kind OF persons who try 10
crawl out OF the Gordian knothole
through the mazes OF the divorce mill.
He resigns his will to another, through
which the woman's superior will filters
as through a coarse sieve. To show
how utterly helpless some men are dur
ing this trying season will cite two in-
stances Of alleged courtshIp-one on the
part Of widow, the other Of maid.
My friend, Charley Dobbs, married
the widow. Ny other friend, Dick
Griff, married the maid. Both are men
with weak intellects. Dobbs was no
happier with the widow than Griff was
with the maid. Dobbs used TO come TO
MY house 70 smoke a consollng cigar
and 70 tell nae his troubles-not once,
hut fifty times-and his experience has
proved, indeed. costly chestnut 70
him. When single Dobbs was very
matter-of-iact sort OF chap. He didn't
believe in sentiment nor in the grand
passion, nor In anything with candy
courtship taste about II. The little
mind that Dobbs possessed was. 70 her,
as an open book without preface. So
Doobs thought the absence Of sentiment
an evidence Of the widows strong COM
mon sense.
Said Dobbs 70 me one evening, when
the penitentisl ft was strong upon him:
'0ld man, haven't got over it yet"
This was four mouths after the we'd
ding.) "Sadie literally hurled herself
st me-" (She weighs $50 pounds, II an
ounce.) There never was much gush
between us, you know. She isn't built
that way. One EVENING" think it
vasm sixth CALI sat twirIing nv