The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1892-11-10
THE SULTAN,

The gentleman of whom we arc
about to talk, If newspapers are truth
full, has got the W world by the tail and
holds his grip right nobly. If 1 had'
the choice of scooping up any Of the
easy jobs, such as bossing u govern
ment, would be the sultan Of Tur-
key. The car of Russia some day
will be picked out of railroad In
small particles, and he realizes how
imprudent it would be to attend a Cir
Gus and have q real laugh as the
clown PUSHES in, painted like mar
digras festival, in this style: Fright
this way, Mr.. Robinson! Hoop-a.laF-
Instantly attend to the charming, lit
tie lady on the fiery Arabian" But
then the car is Christian, and per-
haps seeks consolation through the.
church. Prayer must have great
weight with the Creator, who Is sup
posed to forget the little Siberian
drama in which the car is a star, the
cast being formed of subOrdinates-
who drive prisoners over thous ands
OF miles of snow to be tortured in the
quicksilver mines till death rings-
GOWN the curtain.
rather like the job, or sinecure,
more properly speaking, that the
Queen OF England and Empress OF In
ula now draw salary for. OF course,
beinA woman, she can't appear In y
bicycle tournament, and play catcher
/. ka h,.ll on frat aAtlrr
drunk like the Prince OF Wales, but
she Can buy hair pins made OF gold
and wear embroidered skirts that
would make a pretty factory girl
vince with envy. Then she can eat
more than we eat at 50 boarding
house and the soup won't be cold
when 1t Is served. But then, had
rather be porer in a chile concarne'
stand than to be as stingy as she IT,.
Tue Gar of Russia has 1000 pairs of
pants The queen hasn't, that is, un--
derive ear applicable TO the subject and
l suppose she would not hesitate to
have her dresses dyed, rather than
give them to some brighter poorer
lady of the court.
The Shah Of Persia has sofs
sit in some respects, although.
when he visited England, and
quarIered at Balmural castle, or Liner
Lawn palace, after his departure Mrs.
Victoria took pains to fumigate the
premises. The Shah is the only
licensed brute that can cut Off SER
wants head three times week for;
sport and not account for IL on the
ledger. He is the most monarchial'
monarch of the whole tribe of scaveD-
gers on TIE worlds charity whom O.
foolish eople pay big money to mis-
rule government.
But the sultan! All, here IL the
acme of all gilt edged, copper lined
logger heads who are now matquer-
aiding before the world as rulers
Busted? Yes in sense as far as hon
esL dealing goes, but every govern
ment Is rotten at the core, and the
Sultan proves st. If one is o thief let
him be real highwayman, and
make it virtue instead OF crime. All
the time the papers are talking
about the ACKNOWLEDGMENT Of
Turkey the Sultan ie
lolling around his spectacular bareln
ON mats which cost some $4,000, 900
apiece. That's right, and all OF the
petite, pink. eyed, violet-trested, lilly
zette limbed seraLh are real
princesses. All dressed In gnaze, each
drawing a salary of $4,000 per an
mum. How delicious must be such q
life. "Miss Fuleika, dear, replenish
the narzelie." AS the golden tressee
OF Georgia's fairest nymph wander
over the diamond studded shirt front
OF his royal pibbs while placing the
delicate amber between his lips, hif
J heavenly eyes looking down like By
ron's stars into the sea of Gallillee, he
clasps her in his arms and wanderf
away TO fairyland, while his prime
minister rusbes over to England tC
, borrow few sterlipgs, 10 keep uI
"the balance of power.
JAY CRAIG.