The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-06-23

X. 1ytaE-A
-1
-
DUNNING IS AS HARD AS FLINT.
sounds for supper, an l glide down with my
palpitator foppin' an thrusts my hoofs under
the festal board. Nobody don't tumble. His
Nibs has laid pretty low what little time he has
been here, judge. The main guy turns up
| little later, an I'm introduced to Mr.. John
Smith. / tell 'em I'm from Kentucky, at
venture an it goes If I'd said Boston, I'd
| have had to gastronomiZe with my fork. My
eyes is pretty wide apart yet! Then l returns
to my room an posts up some more out of this
! here dry.
Aug. 17-About hour later. His Nibs has
been here. There was katouse out piece
from the house am Hammerslaw goes out. It's
his Nibs. 1t looks to me like he's arrayed in
horse blanket with his head through hole in
| the middle. Hammerslaw has lantern. It's
a mercy his Nibs don't bust blood vessel, he's
that riled when he sees me. / demand to know
who that mailman is. Hammerslaw wants to
know what the rumpus is about And his Nbs
yearns to Stay me on the spot. He's Mr.. Smith.
he says. / want to know if Hammersaw is in
the habit of havn' his boarders insuited By
madmen. Hammerslaw is fuddled. HIS Nibs
| goes pumb.wild an fights US both. Hammers
law gifts his gun an his Nibs puts out when
|
Aug. 1S.-All beaks is about alike. You
can't find country cop no easier than city
| cop. The Constable is hid out somewhere, an
| his Nibs is only kept off by Hammerslaw's gun.
I'm talkin pretty loud about movin' if this
thing containers, an Hammerslaw is active ac-
cordin'. Move? Lord should shout not
| If there ever was man who knows when he
| is well of. he's writin' in this dry this mill
ute. His Nibs hovers over in tho edge of the
| woods durn' the daytime an emerges at night.
| Tonight Hammersaw has had another round
with him.
Aug. 19-Providence smiles I've got s114.65
in my inside pocket, an Smiths cigars is prime
The whole neighborhood is down on him. The
word is out that he is an escaped lunatic, an
his explanations is received with scorn. He
does swear fearful.
Aug. 20.-Who should meet, drifting along
this mornin', but Hockey an The Spider
Called me Jedge." Hookey's story about his
sick wife in Indiana is mighty stale. Come
within one of telin' him so. Give 'em dol
lar. Their eyes plugged. Wish knew what
has become of Slim Jim. Jagged mebby.
Lord! but wanted to give the boys the horse
laugh. Had to keep mum, though. They'd
have broke my back. 1t was share alike with
US, an they'd have wanted to be nabobs, too.
I'll keep my eyes on em. May be useful Seen
'em investigator his Nibs later. Don't know
| what to make of him. Don't blame 'em, my
self Must fix up some scheme with the boys
to take care of his Nibs He's bonanza if
handled right. I ort to be in Congress this
minute.
".
(By the Author.)
The succeeding entries, to the number of
about 90, are in the same heavy, staggering
| hand, and are, it seems to me- best given in
synopsis.
SYNOPSIS.
| The interloper, with the aid Of Hockey and
The Spider, evolve a plan for keeping Mr..
| Amos Mcdfcld in the background. For
number of entries here the chronicler's lam
| guage is sometimes involved and his meaning
often obscure. Hard cider crops out here and
there. Mr. MedGcld's reason seems to have
become somewhat impaired after some one has
| been prevailed upon to send telegram to Phil
adephia for him, and reply comes that Mr..
Medfied is in Europe, and the half-naked
| vagabond described is unknown. Here the
| chronicler dryly remarks that Mr.. Medfeid
seems to be losing pound of flesh day.
! 1t appears that the impression got abroad
| about this time that there was a case of small
pox in cave about half milo from the
Harhmersaw place, the alleged victim being
Mr.. Medfield. 1t seems that Hockey and The
Spider were employed by the citizens to keep
the alleged smallpox suspect in the cave,
| which they did by taking turns at sentry duty
armed with shotgurs. Mr. Medield was now
| fed by charity, provisions being left at the
mouth of the cave once day. He had been
supplied with clothing.
V.
| I'm the heavy, staggering handy
Sept. l6-Thngs has come to q focus. His
Nibs has been quiet and contented for the last
| few days, but to-day the fat is in the fire an
no mistake Some boys slew all three of them
black cats an it's all up with me. Ithappened
this way: Hockey an The Spider gifts 'em
| private bottle this mornin' an INDUCES in a
quiet hooraw. They're peacefully seepin' it
off when couple of boarders from tho Sum.
mer hotel, lady an gent, apparently newly
married, goes scootin of into the woods pro- |
| miscous like. OF course, as my luck has turned
| they must stumble slap-dab onto tho cave. His
Nibs is settin' OH a rock at its mouth holdin'
his head when they come up.
| "Aw, Julius !" says the lady, with q little |
scream. "a hermit! real live hermit"
His Nibs looks up, kinder wld-like, an sees
'em. The next minute, he gives yell that
brings Hooker an The Spider Oh the dead rum
"Gertie!"
Then he hollers SPINNER" an makes
dive at the gent. Hockey an The Spider col
lars him, but it looks for spell as if he'd kill
| all hands. Finally. he cams down an they
find out who he Is. an he finds out that they've
been married about q week. Spinner is
| anxious to do something for him, but he says |
kinder dreary-like, that he's happy where be |
is An tho strangers leave him.
| hockey an The Spider cuts out for me- an
We go over an find His Nibs hangn' to limb
by strip of hickory bark. We cut him down
in time to save his life In ABOUT half au hour
Pm going to kiss myself out Of this vicinity.
Spinner has telegraphed to the city.
| It's time for me TO say Adoo. This luck
shoory has given me double chin. I've been
happy-too happy. But fate has got it in for
me an must slope. Wal, I've done one good
deed. His Nibs has lost about 80 pounds an
orter be grateful to me.
An now, Ado0! Adool