The record-union., 1892-12-10
CHRISTMAS STORIES.
Some Advice to Young Writers on
Their Construction.
The Main Thing to Know is How
Much salt to Put on q Tale
to Keep 1t.
Especial Correspondence REcoRD-UNroS.l

>
Just that line-no more and no less
prefaced by the usual caption and fol-
lowed by the usual signature. A short,
terse letter; letter from an old friend, an
editor, who is DONG his own presswork
away out in Dakota; little bit Of q letter,
but one that might well startle any man
who has not been giving a thought to the
writing Of Christmas stories. And-and
what is fellow to do?
Did / ever write a Christmas story
In various boxes, barrels and bags that
l have left promiscuously about wherever
it was my good or bad fortune to be for
awhile encamped, or imprisoned, or held
for ransom, or "busted," there are hun
dreds upon hundreds Of my efforts at the
writing Of stories. ] say there are, but
perhaps it would be better to say there
lcere. The campaign has passed, and
but before we go farther, let us pause and
thank heaven because the campaign has
passed! The campaign has passed, and
while the political pot that same old pot
that was toted out a thousand centuries,
more or less, ago. was slmmerlng there
was need of fuel to keep the simmer up.
And boxes, and barrels and bags were
just the things to keep it hot. Old boxes.
old barrels and old bags filled with stories
never Cnded-What could be better than
they? And. therefore, l know not how
many of those boxes and barrels and bags
may now remain in existence. Let us
hope there are none.
But 1 was about to say, when l some-
; how slipped away from the straight,
prosaic thread of my discourse, that [
cannot remember of ever having placed
IN any of those boxes, barrels and bags,
the brietest attempt at Christmas story.
Thanksgiving stories, New ear stories,
Halloween stories | have written, but
never "A Christmas story.
Why? Because | never tried. l could
have done it if | had only tried.
thought OF il many long years ago. But
whenever l thought of 1t / remembered
that somebody else-some man or woman
who knew how Christmas story should
be told-had thought OF it many years be-
tore | was born; had not only thought of
it, but had written and written and writ
ten, until they had supplied the world
with a vast amount OF pathos and humor
len thousand times better than any pathos
or humor that might stew out of me, no
matter how excited l might get.
And so, you see, l did not try to write
any Christmas stories. l just lett well
enough alone. | did not veX the editors,
nor the composltors, nor the public.
Sometimes l am in this way almost intel-
ligent. But l have met great many peo-
am. They write Christmas stories every
year, and get thanked for doing so.
like to be thanked, too, sometimes, but
hate TO get the thanks neatly printed on a
bit of green or red or yellow paper that
reminds me of the prayers that are scat
tered along the roads by Chinese tu-
neral. / have always had a sort of an af-
fectionate feeling for the editor who once
sent back one of my manuscripts with
the following brief note, written with a
stick, punctuated with mucilage brush
and signed by himself:
Don't send any more such d rot to
this Office"
Yes, indeed, liked that EDITORS way
OF returning thanks. l like it yet. 1t is
refreshing. And later on, when the fever
had lett me, and l re-read the MS,
lelt rather thankful myself thankful be-
cause there was postal service and it
had not been necessary for me to carry
that Ms. to that editor in person. If
there was no postal service there would
be great deal OF manslaughtertng done
in good many sanctums. And after all
it might BET benefit i'll some way, eh?
There are so many Of us sawed off
shotgun writers in the country that a
little judicious numbering would give the
literary world a better atmosphere, for
awhile, anyway. We are not all going
10 become "the Dickens Of America"
About 50 per cent. OF US are going
10 ''wrestle with literature" awhile,
Starve awhile. live on hope and air
awhile, and then chop wood for our
breakfasts until we can get steady job
with man who owns sheep or makes
soap.
We have not all of US got sense enough
to know that we are FOOLS. We are going
to keep on "wrastling' until we are COM
PEELED to hang a curtain over the scenes
behind us and burrow into straw stacks
for comfort and eat hay until somebody
gives US raise. That is what some OF us
are going to do-if we don't quit trying to
become famous as story-tellers.
l like a good story-One that is short
and sweet and isn't continued in our
next" do not know how other readers
1eel about it, but when [ have waded
boldly into a story in paper that has
come as a wrapper on neW-fangled
monkey-wrench from Chicago, and have
got interested in It, and have made up
my own mind as TO how it is going to
come out" and then run up against the
CONTINUED in our next" l feel like going
out and scraping myself on the spine
with an icicle.
All people are not affected that way,
guess. l believe l can recall one or two
persons who liked that sort of thing.
They subscribed for seven or eight story
papers that made a specially of serials,
and when they came to the 'to be con
tinuedn part OF one they began to devOur
another. And they never got the stories
mixed up in their minds-because they
had no minds. There was plenty OF
room in their heads Tor any amount OF
stories, or when there wasn't any more
space for moving them away they Just
opened a gate somewhere and let the
whole batch of finished serials go.
1 never knew a person OF this sort who
was OF much account 1Or anything else.
But to return to Christmas stories. I
Il frnL- I N 70
Christmas story my friend, the Dakota
editor, wants. l may send him pos
thumous letter saying that l am dead. 1t
will be better so. l shall escape a hard
task, and there will not be so many win
ter cases of insanity IN Dakota this year
And my friend Will mourn for me, and
drop a few tears.in the waste-bas
Maybe he will write few lines in me-
moriam, or run a cut of A braham Lin
coin over my obituary. | saw that done
once by an editor in Kansas, or, that is
l saw a copy of the paper that contained
the cut and the obituary. TIE man who
had died was named Jenkins-Jenkin
jenkins. / have been wondering ever
since what sort of Intelligence they had
in Kansas in those days.
seem TO have been DEPRESSING again.
That is one OF my greatest faults. 1 never
could stick to the thread of my narrative
get to wandering oil, and then l must
read all that | have written TO discover
my original subject. Once upon time
began a story about noble and industri-
Gus youth who made a fortune III the
mines by emptying his pockets each
evening when he returned to his board
lng-house, and wound II up by relating
how she jabbed out one of her eyes with q
crochet-needle. IL was very sad story.
do not wish the reader of this, If he or
she should happen to be thinking Of or in
a 4 Gr n