The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-01-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

~ AcNoAAAS elSSSA
The best thing out-An aching tooth.
Onions form a large percentage of too
many dinners.
The dust has been laid. Its name is
mud.-Picayune.
A man goes to law to get justice or
to keep it from some other fellow.
The bill-poster knows his place, and
there he sticks. - Providence Telegram.
The American hog is a success. He
has often been "'tried. - Columbus Post.
All who invest in good deeds will be
cutting coupons in the sweet by and by.
Only very selfish man or woman can
have the blues persistently.-St. Louis
Republic.
The wharf builder is man who is
pretty sure 10 be tried by his PIERS
Lo1eu Courier.
There's pitch in the voice, and that's
why some singers notes stlck.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.
When there is work to be done tho
buzz saw is always willing to take
manu. '-EotuteSHlINs
The anaconda who tried to swallow
itself should have credit for being q
selt.contained animal.
A Boston boy recently defined a we'd
ding as nothing but a prayer meeting
with sociable after 1t.
Why is buttermilk like something that
has never happened. Because it hasn't
a curd.-7eras Sytings.
Young people in the country are not
so slow. They often make love at rat-
Ting gate. -Statesman.
She-"The man marry must be hand
some, brave and clever" He" dow
fortunate we have metl"
The sluggard who goes to his aunt and
gets nothing is forced to deal with his
uncle.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The watch that is placed over the peo-
pies interest at the polls must not be a
Iepeater.-St. Louis Republic.
It's bad enough to bite of more than
you can chew, but it's worse to try to
chew it.-Detr0it Free Press.
We should like to see the man who
would make no bones of eating fresh
mackerel. York Mercury.
"You're dead loss to yourself" is the
latest sarcastic way of telling man he
is no good.-Philaaeiphia Record.
Man is a good deal like fish. You
know the fish would never get in very
serious trouble if it kept its mouth shut.
OF love and naught else would he chatter;
He would often persist till near dawn.
At first twas "A truce to this matter~
A trousseau it was later on.
Judge.
She-"Tell me what difference is
there between ready made tie and one
you tie yourselfl" He-''About an
hour. "-Nei0 York NetS.
"What did you get for your
birthday? "a watch-chain." "Where
is itl Let's see it," Cant, It's with
the watch. HarUard Lampo0n.
The people shout, the bands all play.
Aud louder every minute
The bass drum has all things its way;
The ear drum isn't lin it'
Philadelphia Press.
"Did you run for office the other dayi"
asked Spriggins Of defel.el candidate.
"No," said the candidate, sadly, al
walked. The other fellow ran. ."-SOmer-
ellie Journal.
~ am of very sympathetic dispose
ton" said N. Peck. "Wheuever come
home ana find my wife with nervous
headache | am sure to catch it. '-Iae'aR-
apoiis Journal.
Singleton-"I am suffering dreadful
ly; cutting my wisdom teeth, you
Know." Doubleup-"Dont say. | didn't
cut mine till after was married. KIT
Fields WASHINGTON.
"You needn't open your mouth so
wide,' the dentist remarked; II shalt
stand outside" Aud then he was shocked
at the back talks flow that came with
the tooth when the roots "let 60"
She-"Am not clever, dearl have
just given the porter twenty-five cents
not to light the lamps when we 90
through the tunnel" He-Yes, dear.
ButI had already given him half Il dollar
for the same thing. Bro0liyR Lite.
"Do you think you could tell the
difference between a kleptomaniac and
a shoplifteri" "That's easy said the
would-be hoor-walker. THE shoplilter
is unable to pay double price for the
goods, if detected. ."-Hdi7alp1lis Jour-
nal.