Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-27

of you. The good soul has brought you the
bill of fare to whet your appetite, and music
ally runs over-veal broth, fried hal1but,
boudins of pheasants, curried calves head,
roast beef and baked potatoes, goose and
apple sauce, fowl and sausage, baked ham
and sweet sauce, corned beet and vegetables,
string beans, stewed Spanish onions-the
list is never finished, for by the time she
gets that lar you probably reach out after
something throwa5le that you intend to
hurt when it hits, and the effort is too much
for you.
Your Temper Still With You.
The only normal element of your compost
tion LETT is your temper. and you give it
reign at this point and end by Throwing
up things" at the stewardess. 1t goes with
out telling, she gets paid in the work you
make her, for reading that bill of fare The
musical iend goes by your room singing
Sailing, Sailing on the Deep Blue Sea-"
How you want to straugle him. A sailor
Just out side more appropriately whistles
''There Are Moments When One Wants to
Be Alone" You say, fright you are, sailor,
and this is one of them" Then you try to
find side to your anatomy not quite worn
to the bone upon which you may turn for
few moments rest-and with your face to
the wall try to think what ever induced
YOU to cross the ocean. But you can't
make it out There seems now to have
been no good or sufficient inducement You
are certain your own country is more
beautiful and interesting than any you
have suffered this torture to see, and the
feeling grows that if the Atlantic ocean
was all that separated earth from heaven
you would not be tempted to cross over.
Your next idea, which BY the way has
alternated with every other one you have
had during these days, is to try to Sleep
For one fatal moment you let go of your
self forget to brace your back against the
side OF the vessel and loose your grip on the
excuse of a guard at the front of your berth,
the storm-tossed ship takes header, and so
do you. The next moment you are rolling
around with broken dishes, shoes, brushes,
travelling bags, ETC., which litter the floor
of your stateroom. Only last night you
heard a man thrown out of his berth in the
room opposite.
You had heard oaths, smelled sulphur and
seen blue flames directly afterward. You
think of that man now and envy him his
ability to express himself at a time like
this. Too big to cry, not we'll enough edu-
Gated to swear effectively and utterly mis-
erable, you now feel sure the future holds
nothing that can add to your misfortunes
But how little you know yet of the many
tortured. If your experience is to tally
with mine, the irrepressible returns about
this time, and with her some recruits from
the sick list, and some who like herself
have not been sick, and who "would
not get sick for anything" 'tnever
in all their lives had such good time"
and 'sit has been just too sweet for any,
thing to see storm like this" and the
Arizona set perfectly splendid table,"
ETC., 'tand the sea air does give one such an
appetite" and then if you are really as
peppery as L was, you intimate that goats
might be able to relish tin cans and door
knobs even on sea, but being altogether
human you had gotten sick on celery and
roast chicken.
One of the Exasperating Features.
do wonder why it is everyone persists
in talking about something to eat to sea-
sick people, when it is so well understood
that is an unbearable topic at such time
The first question asked you by anyone
putting their head in at your door will be
"Have you taken anything to eat to-day?"
knowing in their souls you have not and
cannot Then, every thing that was ever
swallowed by human from "little BROTH
to corned beef and cabbage will be sug-
gested for trial. My word for it, beef and
cabbage will sound good compared to broth.
OF all words in the English, that one at this
time is the most hateful to your ears, and
you fall to scheming how you can have it
stricken from the dictionary.
But consider yourself lucky if some one
little more fendish than the rest does not
suggest that very old remedy, the bacon and
the string This prescription is so old that
it is now moss-covered, but is still being
passed around among the sufferers.
Not one will fail to remind you Of your
lack of ambition in remaining In your
berth or fail to urge you to make an effort
snd get upon deck. Dead tired Of contend
ing with people who lnow more of your
condition than you do yourself, and con-
vinced you are not to be left alone to die in
peace, and having no revolver or other
weapon of exterminstion, in sheer self