The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-05-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Food for retection-The good dinner
that you missed. .-Siftings.
Remains to be seen-Thc girl before
the mirror.-St. Paul Globe.
The leap-year girl might try him deli
cately with little popcorn. Il Louisville
Courier-J Journal.
The spring poet has few writes that
publishers are bound to respect.-
Rochester Post Express.
There was a fire in lawyers office
here the other day that was caused bv a
SCOT in the chimney. Courier.
At the Fifth Hour: zenobia-"I like
autumn" Augusta-''EIow so ;" Zeno-
bia-"Autumn leaves. New York Her.
aid.
1t is dangerous time for mans
greatness when his wife's imagination
begins to wear thin. indianapolis Jour-
nal.
A New Jersey minister married fifteen
couples within sixty minutes the other day.
Fifteen knots an hour isn't bad. Lowell
Courier.
In England they stand for office, in
this country they run, and in both couu-
tries they lie more or less. oil City
Blizzard.
A magazine article asks: ''Do titles
pay3" Well, generally, no, until they
are sued, and then sometimes tney get
out of it.--Rochester Post.
A barking dog OF crying baby may
not be appreciated by ones nelghbors,
but either certainly gives tone to ones
establishment Boston Transcript
Yes, my son, colleges have their
faculties, but it is not the faculties of
the students that receive the highest
compensation. Transcript.
Wool-"Who was it advocated
throwing physic to the dogsg' Van
Pelt-''Don't tremember the name; some
fellow whose wife had one, likely. -
Brooklyn Life.
"Ah," mused Mr.. Hungry Higgins, as
the charitable officer steered him
toward the city woodward, "Ihaye once
more struck the popular cord. ."--Indian-
apolis Journal.
A housemaid says her mistress is in
consistent. She charges her not to
break dish, and if she does break one,
she charges her for it just the same. =
Boston Transcript.
81 think this thing of overwork being
fatal is all rot, remarked the paste-pot.
"Why, of course it is" replied the
Lent-umbrella joke. "Just look at usp
-IndiananOlis JOupnal
Colonel Slye, of 81. Louis, has beea
sent to prison for twenty years for rob-
bing an express car. The Colonel made
a mistake by not taking the whole rail-
road. Washington Post.
Bertha-"G Grandma, is oor teef good9"
Grandma darling; Pve got rome
now, unfortunately" tha4-"Theu
I'll give 90 my nuts to mind till come
back. Pacific Methodist.
CONDUCTOR Madam, am Obliged to
ask fare for that boy; he looks older
than four years. Mother--"He isn't,
at all; he has his fathers heal but his
mothers ways. Cloak Journal
Mrs. Dix-"These clubs must be very
unhealthy places" Mrs. Hicks-"W Wnat
makes you think so 2" Mrs. Dix-.My
husband says they wouldn't let a mau in
unless he had the grip.'-NeS York
Herald.
Thele are too many people who will
not cast their bread upon the waters un-
less they are assured beforehand that it
will come back again in few days a full
grown sandwich, all trimmed with ham,
butter and mustard, rolled up in a war
ranty deed for one-half of the earth and
a mortgage on the other. -Orrin (Wash-
ingtonl Enterprise.
The girls are busy just now making
neckties for their best young men. They
first carefully study his complexion, aud
then buy the silk which will be becoming
to his peculiar style of beauty. The silk
is crouched into ''four-in- hand tie."
1t takes time aud patience, but the maid
and man are happy. The youth who has
not been presented with one of the new
ties is wearing a panied, hurt look
New York World.