The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1892-04-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


think that Robinson loves her?" Griggs
-"He went shopping with her. "-Cloak
Review.
-Poet-'In which act of my new play
do you think the wittiest remarks were
made?" Critic-''In the entr 'acte-about
your piece. Batter.
Your fair friend that paints so
charmingly may be an iagenue, but you
mustn't refer to her as an artless crea-
ture.-Binghamton Republican.
Little Johnnie-''Say, ma, does a
minister really need all the slippers
that are given him?" Mrs. Brown
Yes indeed. His son is generally very
bad."-Epoch.
What a stupid thing that Miss
Chatterton is! She'll sit for whole
evening without saying a word 80,
but you never happened to see her at
the theater. boston Transcript
-Biddeford papers bring interesting
accounts of a cat that drinks coffee at
breakfast, and of child six years old
who writes poetry. The cat is worth
bringing up.-Bangor Commercial
First Young Woman - Mabel is
writing for a magazine" Second Young
Woman Jealous -''Well. if she encloses
the subscription price have no doubt
she will get it," Washington Star.
How brilliant the moon is tonight"
said Naggs, as they walked to church
last night. Yes said Mrs. Naggs,
like most men; he's brightest when he's
full."-Philadelphia Record.
Losing Her Grip.-Mrs Witherby-
"Mrs. Plankington doesn't dress so well
as she used to. does she?" Mrs. Bangor
mo; since her husband signed the
pledge she hasn't the hold on him that
she used to have. Cloak Review.
In Training. -IIanlzs--"I've just dis
covered the reason why Closefist is SO
small" Banks-'What is it?" Hanks
"lIe expects to have to crawl through
the eye of needle some time.-N. Y.
Herald.
Here's hair-raising thing" be-
gan the literary member. For chart
tvs sake give it to me" said the bald
headed member, excitedly. passing his
hand sadly over his shining dome; Il
need it badly. Truth.
How can you sell these beauti-
fully-bound dialect stories for only IS
cents volume?" THAT is really less
than cost, answered the bookseller,
"bdt we sell "a key to them for Sill
indianapolis Journal.
-Gauged His Ability. UpStart- Il
have made up my mind to become u jour
nalist. What kind of paper would
you advise me to go to work WITH"
Grutiiey think you are best
fitted to work with u piece of sand
paper. boston Courier.
Might Have Been Better Pit. Mrs.
Fliabout lin for a calD-''I should think
you'd be tired to death, Mrs lIomcbody;
you're always as busy as you can be. -
Mrs. Homebody-"O. | don't mind it,
You know | am not troubled with call
ers very often. boston Transcript.
They were talking about their hus-
bands, and young Mrs. Flimmins said:
IL am glad to discover that Harry is
taking an interest in art, even though
he tries to conceal 1T from me- How
did you find it out?' Il overheard him
tell my brother that it is good thing
to study your hand before you draw
Washington Star.
-Dashaway-"lIow much extra will
you charge me for Il satin lining in "a
coat instead of silk" Tailor-"Well,
seeing it's you. Mr.. Dashaway. | won't
charge you anything. Shall take your
measure?' Dashaway--"It isn't neces-
sary. The coats over home. and I'll
have it sent over.-Clothier and Fur
nisher'
Lieut.. Griggs-"Why is sailor
Miss Flutter Because he is to remain
so long away from his dear ones"
Lieut. Griggs -" Well, that's bad
enough, but there's IA better reason
still" Miss Flutter-"What, pray?"
Lieut.. Griggs-"Why when he's out of
port. he knows that he must live on
water
The other day u, the Bohemian
on receiving some money from a rich
uncle, took it into his head to square off
some OF his most pressing debts. He
first called at his tailor's and heard that
the poor man had just died. His widow
all in tears desired to know the visitors
errand. Il have come to pay my bill"
he simply replied. All" sobbed out
the widow, If my poor husband had
only lived till this morning the shock
might have brought him round."-