St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-03-23
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

SUNRISE SIGNALS.
Jaggles-Would you dare face John L.
Sullivan?
Joggles-Barring one thing.
Jaggles-Whats that?
Joggles-His breath.
The greatest men the world has ever known
have been affected by little weaknesses.
Some of them have had small vices Beware
of the man who poses as one devoid of men,
tai or physical flaw This however, is no
reflection upon the character of Emperor
William:
Young Gov. Russell is, apparently. as
ready to sacrifice himself to the interests of
Grover Cleveland as is the latter to the i'm
peratiye duty of the hour. Mr.. Cleveland and
Mr. Russell might star together as the Atru-
istic Dromios.
New York and Brooklyn sentlmentalists
are agitating the consolidation of the TWO
cities. The same bar exists against the con-
summation of the project as lies between st.
Paul and Minneapolis-political interest.
Congressman Bland is still committing
hari-kari at the same Old stand.
If the Democrats are looking for a good
Western man, what's the matter with Gov.
Pennoyer. OF Oregon? He is good man, and
a long ways farther west than any of the
others.
March came in like lion, stayed in like a
wildcat and is likely to go out like a slush
bucket
at the present writing the Chicago papers
are interesting psychological studies. In one
portion of their various editions they en-
phatically declare that against the boodling
aldermen there exists unlimited quantities of
unimpeachable evidence; that the coils of
law are daily encireling them in an embrace
from which escap, is impossible. Per contra,
i'll the same paper will appear neryeless,
timid editorial, expressive of grave doubts
concerning the ability of law to convict
them. Such an admission on the part Of
any Chicago journal is slightly more disgrace
tul than the rascally cause of the editorial
comment.
The young kaiser certainly has lucid inter
walls; he has excluded London Punch from
the royal castle.
New York editors are now felicitous1y en-
gagged in nominating each other for presiden-
tiaI candidates Already the booms of White
law Reid. James Gordon Bennett and Uncle
Oh aries A. Dana have been presented at
court" If any one is looking for list Of
presi dental impossibilities, now is the time
to subscribe.
1t can no longer be concealed that the pres
ent spring weather bags at The knees.
Tho Salvation Army has 5000 brass bands
in its ranks but it is not hunting ducks.
A Michigan sleeping car porter has been
left legacy of SlS).O00. but, as it is necessary
for him to relinquish his sinecure TO obtain
possession Of it. The question is a cause of
weighty consideration.
Automatic bootblacks. run on the nickel
fn-the-slot plan, will soon be on the market.
They should be supplied with automatic
kekers: else in the presence of real, live
'blaekles'' they will be of few days and full
of trouble.
Who invented the steam engine?-St. Lonis
Republic
Bill Mckinley.
Police Justice (after one OF the officers has
suddenly darted from the room)-I tell you,
captain, there are no flies on Detective Lynx
eye.
Police Captain-One, your honor.
Justice-HoW so?
Captain-Didn't you see him put on his hat
and fly?
Justice (severely)-Six months.
We violate no confidence in stating that
Minneapolis will not have an imitation
Monte Carlo. Neither will it indulge i'll the
luxury of Suicides club All other
evidences OF journalistic paress concerning
Minneapolis are also branded as canards, and
turned loose on the range until the fall
roundup.
If we ere to judge the relative value of pres
Uncle Jere Rusk holds the age over Isaac
Pussy Gray.
Gen. Ayers presidential boom has just
graduated from Olivet college. In the cleo
toral college, however, it will probably be
'plowed for smals.'
The recent demise of the ossifed man
brings Senator John Sherman into prom
inence.
One congressional district in st. Paul has
twenty three Republican candidates for con-
gress. All are genuine, bona fide aspirants
for the office, and the temptation to spite
Minneapolis will probably result in one more
coming forward in order to make the num-
Der an even two dozen.-Chicago Tribune.
Such rounding out of the number to an
even one-sixth of a gross would not incite
Minneapolis to jealous jeers. On the con-
trary, Minneapolis knows as well as st. Paul
that the next congressman from that particu-
lar district is bound to be a Democrat, even
though there should be 1900 Republican as
pirants