The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-10-16
CARRIE CARELESS
Talks About Lady Bores That She
has Met.

; (Copyri0htO
NEW YORK, Oct. 15.-n there is one
thing more than another that affects my
nervous system and disturbs my equanimity
it is to encounter a bore. especially IL the
bore happens to belong to my sex. For of
the two the female bore is infinitely more
Objectionable than one OF the masculine
species. 1t is always possible for a woman
TO squelch male bore, but when the bore
happens to be lady it is perfectly useless
to attempt to suppress her. She Is simply
irrepressible and there is absolutely nothing
to be done except to take flight when she
appears upon the horizon. | regard her
moreover as being primarily responsible for
the increasing Discrimination to marry man.
lfested by the young men of the present
day.
They dread that once welded they may
find tnat they are chained for the remainder
OF their existence TO a bore. The very
thought is sufficient to cause them to shud~
der; as well it may. We all know how
hdgety, restless and exasperated we feel
when a person has been boring
US for au hour or two. Imagine
therefore, the horror of being con-
demned TO spend the remainder Of ones
existence in close and intimats association
with q bore, to find ones sslf MORNING
noon and evening exposed TO tts initiation,
and not even to be able TO FIJI aly retage
or relief therefrom in bed. A waaag nv
self. and consequently prejudicsd in favor
OF my own sex, l can nevertheless appre-
ciate the terror which such apprehensions
are calculated to arouse in masculine hearts
and can understand the consequent disin-
clination of young men to wed.
Women bores, who, by the by, are far
more numerous and obtrusiue than the
masculine bores, belong to many different
aud varied species. There are, for instance.
the political female bore, the religious
female bore, the scientific lady bore aud a
host Of others. Curiously enough when
married they are usually at variance with
their husbands on the subject of their hobby,
and | have found moreover that bores
seldom intermarry. This must be regarded
as wise provision of nature For il two
bores got married and begat little bores the
world would soon become intolerable. Of
course there are exceptions to the rule and
occasionally have witnessed the amusing
spectacle of welded bores endeavoring to
talk each other down.
One Of the most ordinary female bores of
the present day is the woman who insists
upon discoursing at length on the subject of
servants. Heaven only knows that in this
great and glorious country of ours the
question Of help las it is most inAppro-
priately denominated) furnishes matter for
inexhaustible discussion. There is, how
| 0NOEs q loEIIDio bhneu6hS ABOUT the matter
aud the mi5leods of ''Mary Ann, -" ~hicn SO
many Of our sex are won't to relate, In all
their wearisome detail, to their unfortunate
friends and acquaintance betray such re-
semblance aud analogy to the shortcomings
Of "Biddy" that the subject, at no time in
terestlug, becomes most appallingIy monot-
onouS And yet there are many women who
can talk of absolutely nothing else.
Another form OF feminine bore is the
woman who selects the ailment of her chill
dren as the field of her conversational oper-
ations, and who appears to imagine that
babys collie and little Johnnis's humps are
| of vital and absorbing interest not only To
her friends, but also to her chance acquaint-
auces, both male and female. II is needless
for rue to add that her offspring, as a gen
eral rule, are the most untnteresting and
tiresoms brats that it is possible 10 con-
ceive'
Extremely peruicious too, is the met
sphysical lady bore. Fortunately she is
somewhat rnrer than the other two specie
that have Just mentioned. She has usual Y
read, and Is, OF course, eager to discuss
Schwegler, the "Secret OF Hegel,n Herbert
Spencer, Schoppenhauer and "Huxley on
on Kant" Her desire is to build bridge
between science and religion on the basis OF
the thing in itself Let me warn my read
ers If they have any regard for their brain
or for their peace of mind, to avoid as they
would the plague asking her what "the
thing in itself " means. l did so once, and
my head was in whirl and daze for a
week after ward. Even marriage does not
cure her, for she is far too convinced of her
mental superiority over her husband
to condescend to pay anything but
plying, patronizIng attention TO
anything that he may happen
to say. Scientific soirees are their joy, and
they attach themselves to professors and
literary gentlemen. Some Of their victims,
especially il middle-aged. appear to thrive
and to flourish and even to relish the raw
ages OF the lady metaphysical bore. This ia
usually attributable to the vanity OF the
male victims and due to the fact that the
latter are wholly unaccustomed 60 feminine
attentions and assiduities. Among my
numerous acquaintances who, alas, are
bores, there is a woman whom /
cannot help regarding in the light Of punish.
ment destined for me by an angry proyi-
dence. She is imbued with the idea that
her veins are hardly capacious enough to
contain the oceans Of blue blood which flow
therein, aud she is never tired OF explaining
to me that were she in Europe she would be
entitled to honors and distinction which
belonged TO her ancestors, who-misguided
people that they are in her eyes-appeared
to have preferred the advantages to be OBJ
tanned from a berth in Mayfower to those
to be derived from a birth in the charmed
circles OF European society. She carries
about in her card-case a miniature genoa
logical tree proving her more or less
authentic descent from some remote English
or Irish royalty, and l regret that truth
should compel me TO that she
boasts OF coat OF arms which on a glarInR
field OF "gules" displays that symbol of H.
legitimacy, a bar sinister. Poor SOUL Far
be IL from my mind to deride her guileless-
ness. and yet l have often been tempted to
point out to her that heraldry is a science
which should be studied by those at any
rate who claim to be connected with the
European aristooraoy. In order to avoid
such little errors. which form the theme of
no end Of ridicuIe ia the old world.
How far bores are conscious OF their own
tediousness is a difficult question. Probably
there is hope where there is consciousness
of guilt. Women who have humor enough
to know that they are oores may yet find a
place of repentance. and are not yet past
praying for. Let me, therefore, in all
humility of spirit request tbs prayers OF
the congreg-I mean Of my readers-for
theirs most sincerely.
CARRIE CARELESS.
"Mr. Hardcash, did you bring Flossie a
box Of oandyp
Mr.. Hardcash-Hers, Bonnie, is a nice
new dime; now did sister say she wanted a
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