The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-08-30
BRIGHT BITS.
HE-Will you marry me, Ethel9

Sne-Yes.
He-But look here-good heavens this isn't
fair. You declined all the other feloWs-Brook-
Ign Life.
MAMMA, what does eating humble pie
1T means eating pie that has no upper
crust Finish your mush and milk, my son -"
Chic 90 Tribune.
JULIA-Are you real well acquainted with Mr..
Bricktop?
Hattie-No, not exactly. You see we were
only engaged for one week last summer.-Cht-
cdgo Inter Ocean.
Mrs. DooLIHAN-DoeS your husband belong to
any club?
Mrs. McGinnis-No, but a club belongs to me
husband He is on the perlace foorce, and ev-
cry day he cracks somebody on the head wild it.
TerdS SUtjHOS.
Mas. WINKs-Why do you hate Deacon de
Goode so2 -
Mrs. Minks-He lost patience with crying
baby 10 a railway train.
Most any man will do that"
Yes. but it was NY. baby:"-Ne.S York
Weesly. -. ~ Is TFaEs.tt ~
Dusty RHoDEs-Just berry yourself blazer
and the first thing you know yon'll have fash
Fitz WiIliam-How did you get that lively
striped buzzOm2
Dusty Rhodes-By buttoning up my coat when
raining.-Ne1O York Herald
"CAN'r you fix that typewriter SO that 1t won't
Il h
NO, sir. replied the young woman.
We'll, then, put 1t in the back room Some
body that's an expert with the machinell come
along and understand every word you're
wrltin. ~ WuShiHgt on star.
SAM JoHNsING- Look heah. Mistah Schaum-
burg, got caught in shower yesterday and
dis suit is done shrunk so l kin hardly breeve
standardization vas mistaken. my friend.
My goots never shrink. Dot suit was a little
tight, perhaps, because yon was all sweiled nit
pride because you was so elegantly dressed
Teas S!ftiu0s.
Mr.. HIGGINs-So you are fiat broke, are your
The last time | you were flush with ex-
pectation. Let's see, you were just going out
on the road with new piece-with millions In
it, believe you said. BY the way what was
the name Of that play?
theatrical Manager (sadly)-Success.
errilie Journal
ETHEL" said the teacher. who do the an
clients say supported the world on his shout
ders?N
ATLAS. sir"
You're quite right" said the teacher AT
las supported the world. Now, who supported
Atlas?n
II suppose, said Ethel, softly-.T suppose he
married a rich wife."-Nelo York World
Now said the clairvoyant to q group OF
visitors, u will describe person known and
loved by everybody in this room The person
has the characteristic of always being in a
hurry and always being delayed. VIII run two
blocks for waiting street car and then stop to
wait for the next one. Generally stands on the
wrong side of the crossing and is invariably un.
able TO find change. Does any one recognize
this person. And every man il the room got
up and shouted, Its my wifem- Chicago
NetCS- Record.
"MIss FIGG, began the summer young man.
when l first met under the influence of your
magic SPELL mean when l first met you and
fell under the glamour. for even You in your
maiden innocence must be aware of your power,
and hitherto though my heart has been I'm
susceptible but the light that lies in
woman'S eyes-especaUy yours-er-sh-.
The young woman continues to beam on him
kindly, but the young man hadn't his notes and
his memory had departed. aid he could only
gasp, Miss Figg, where was at?"-Indtdndp-
oils Journal.