The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-01-17
UNDERTAKES, CALCULATIONS.

The movement begun in the east by the
ministers and undertakers to taboo Sun
day funerals is, by late accounts, becoming
quite general. The preachers say they
nave too much to do on the LORDS day
without having to perform burial services
that Sunday funerals are too often made
the occasion of ostentatious displays, with
music and other distracting accompani-
ments; and that more time is required than
is really needed. The undertakers say,
with the clergy, that it would be preferable
to have the business of burying distributed
through the week, as that would afford
better opportunities to attend to details,
without crowding the livery stable people
and the grave-diggers too much.
To persons contemplating the act of
shutting off this mortal coil, these sugges-
tons will have due weight, and they will
order their affairs accordingly. This will
make it fashionable to die not later than
Thursday of any week, as not to be mind
fulof the convenience of the undertakers
would, not to make pun of the observa-
ton, be grave oversight. And thus we
are led to a contemplation of the tribula-
tions of undertakers in regard to other
matters.
The undertaken feels that whilst, in
other lines of business, soliciting or ''drum-
ming' is allowable, he himself is restricted
in the way of notifying the public, to stand
ing advertisements in the newspapers,
limited TO a mere statement of location, TO-
gether with the fact of having on hand
ready made collins, shrouds and the
usual habiliments of woe If railroad
| freight agent hears that newspaper is
ordering couple of carloads OF "print, u
it is perfectly legitimate for him to try tc
get the haul. A contractor, seeing that 8
new edifice is to be built, may properly
seek the joo of digging the cellar. And sc
IL is not only permitted, but expected OF
men in various lines to solicit business
Now, in the nature Of things, there can be
no funeral drummers. 1t won't do, wher
an undertaken hears that person is sick
to send the family marked copy of his
advertisement If, seeing a doctors buggy
in front of a residence, the undertaken
should ring the bell and send up his card
the doctor would probably resent this as
]
hand, to an enterprising person who want!
to make his trade grow, waiting til
death actually comes makes him as muct
of patient as the sick one
Yet unless the undertaken ha!
previously done business with the family
in satisfactory manner, the alert man ha
no benefit from his push and activity, al
the job is liable to be given to the shol
nearest the desolated home.
THE HERALD observes movement is OF
foot in Washington, stimulated by the at
mosphere of retreHchment and reform
which always follows q Democratic victory
to lop off many of the eXtravagant ex,
penses attending the death of Senator Of
Representatil g and his burial by Con
gressioual committee of bereavement
Some of the articles deemed essential to
proper exhibition of grief on these occa
slons-articles with green seals and white
labels which CRATE harshly upon the sor
rowing mind, on account Of their IN
harmonious colors-are now though
to be not wholly indispensable
and it is even fancied that
casket which costs two or tire,
hundred dollars may come too high in view
of the present depressed condition of tn,
protection-depleted treasury. With HoL
MAN at the head of the committee on ap
preparations of the House, the Washington
undertaken will scarcely be able to NOR,
than make his salt and If corpses are to b.
kept over Sunday, there will be littl
chance for adulteration in embalming fluid
for which the human taxidermists nov
charge so enormously.
Thus it will be seen that sympath.
should not be altogether on the side o
those tradesmen who conduct the transfe
business from the sick-room to that ''farn
2x7" referred TO by the elegant Mr. BUR
MEsTER the other night. Indeed, when tn
reform of funerals comes along in Its full
ness, the present fluctuations of the under
takers will appear utterly insignificant.