Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-07-01

Mayhem, the peacemaker of the family.
Its matter of principle to me now"
said Maria, COMPRISING her lips.
why don't you let your wife have her
own wayY said Colonel Mayhem, Aunt
Persis' husband, to Mr.. Doppleton.
''If did SO now" answered the orator
of the day, 81 should lose my own self
respect and good opinion Also"
And he went on practicing the great
masterpiece of eloquence, which had lost
all its spice and sparkle, since Maria was
not to hear it.
If only Cousin Jugson had seen fit to
leave his ancestral homestead to some
body else! In his lifetime he was a peace
able old man; how, then, was it that his
bequest had originated such bitterness
Of feeling?
There is homely old saying, however,
that it is an i'll wind that blows nobody
any good-and one day Mr.. Solomon
Hartop, hard worked, baldheaded clerk
in the postoffice, came exultantly home
to his four roomed tenement in o crowd
ed little street, where the grocery below
exhaled the perfume Of stale cabbages,
and an iron lunged licensed vendor made
the doorways ring with
Fresh raws-bE-reesl Pineapples, lem
mings and ban-anasr'
well, Janet" said Mr.. Hartop, Eve
got piece of good news for you'll"
"Are you going to take us to Glen
island for the dayy' screamed all the lit
tie Hartops in chorus.
"Pm going to take you all to the coun-
try for month" said Mr. Hartop "To
fine old house, all furnished, where
there's a gurgling brook, and an apple
orchard, and a meadow full of wild straw
berries, and as many roses as you want
to pick, and lovely smooth lawn in
front for the children to touch off their
firecrackers in, and never policeman to
interfere"
Jacky, the eldest son, burst into a
doubling giggle.
"Well have to die and go to heaven
first, guessr' said he.
"Are you crazy, Solomon demanded
his wife, looking at him with faded eyes
Of incredulity, while all the six younger
Hartops gathered around their father,
with differing degrees of skepticism.
mot a bit of it!' said Mr.. Hartop
cheerfully. Pack up your buds, Janet,
and the children's, and Wen lock up this
cupboard of place and start as soon as
possible. Only ten miles on the Harlem
road-handy 10 the depot and the fare a
mere song. Doppleton, the head man in
our department, has offered me the use
of the place this summer, as his wife
don't like the house, and all the rent he
expects is that I'll come to the village
with you and the children on the after
noon of the Fourth of July and hear him
deliver a two hour long Grafton. Ha,
ha, hal Every one has his soft spot, and
old Doppleton thinks he's an orator."
1t was the day before the Fourth of
July. Mr.. Doppleton was practicing
with professor of elocution on the last
few sentences of his grand effort.
Mrs. Doppleton was crying in her own
room amid a wilderness of trunks.
Mrs. Hartop, in the cabbage scented
street, was packing the baby's wardrobe
in handbag and making bread and
butter sandwiches for the smaller chill
dren on the journey.
Her husband and the two eldest boys
had gone down to the TUCSON farm to
air the rooms and be in readiness to re-
ceive the rest Of the family.
II w-w-wish 1 was dead" sobbed Mrs.
Doppleton in her solitude
eff things are to go on like this" pom
dered Mr.. Doppleton between the sem
fences Of the outburst Of eloquence, 81
don't believe life is worth living. The
more think of it the more / wish Cousin
Jugson had left his old house,
just then there came terrific ring at
the doorbell.
In rushed Mr.. Hartop with every indi-
vidual hair on his head standing up in
different direction.
at wasn't my faultr' said he. Il took
every possible precaution. There's no
body can attribute any blame to meF'
What do you meanY' cried Doppleton.
"And the local department lays it to
spontaneous combustionI' gasped the
breathless little man. mot a match on
the premises, and"--
Lays whatT' roared Doppleton, seiz-
ing his visitor by the. collar. Speak
plain, man, or I'll shake it out of your
There's been fire" said Mr.. Hartop,
retreating out of the reach of Mr. Dop-
pleton's grasp. "The fireworks l took
down for the boys and stored in the shed
kitchen have exploded, and the home of
your forefathers is razed to the ground"
Mr.. Doppleton stared at his visitor ten
whole seconds in silence before he said
plainly and distinctly:
"rm-glad-of-itT
WAS there any insurance" said little
Hartop family.
mo, there wasn't any insurance. |
hope you didn't lose anything, Hartopy7