Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-04-03


There hasn't been ''store egg'' in the house
in five months, and the ''egg compelling
hen who turned out the one you are finding
| fault with, for this especial breakfast, would
| be justified in learning to crow, if she should
| hear your criticism.
Plainly you are ''off your feed" a bad
sign in horse or rider But you say you
''are all right" and keep up and make
everybody and everything else all wrong all
day. Night comes and you go to bed early.
Somebody anxiously suggests that you
should ''see the doctor" You utter an Ill
natured snort of derisive contempt and fierce
| refusal, with your foot on the stairs, that
may be heard clear down into the cellar.
anxious and loving family, who make
gentle excuses for you should there be visi-
tors in the parlor.
Morning finds you in bed that suggests a
night in centrifugal drying machine.
Your surroundings do not look restfuL You
make one or two Intellectual efforts to dress
and come down to breakfast. But you decide
that you don't care whether you ever get
anything to eat again in all this world; you
lie down again and wait for somebody to
come.
Out on the Skirmish Line.
Someone comes, taps at the door; YOU say
"Come in" in the sickest tone you can in
vent. If you are going to be sick, you pro-
pose to let people know it. So you strike a
melancholy whine, pitched on quavering
1alsetto and say feebly-a startling contrast
to your good night snort is your good morn
ing pipe-"Come in"
Someone peeps in the door. "Why--for
mercy's sake 1 thought you were dressed |
Aren't you coming down to breakfast"
loN
ing down to breakfast I" you, dying man |
great mind to get up and 20 down and die at
the breakfast table. But then you remem-
Der just in time how many notices there
have been in the papers the past few weeks
of people choking to death on pieces of
meat stuck in their windpipes and one
place and another, and it would be Just like
the reporters to get that off on you. That
would never do.
And, beside, if you are really too sick to
get up, you don't harbor feelings Of resent
ment very long. You decide not to die for
several days anyhow; you lie still and ex-
plain things. You abandon the querulous
whine OF the amateur invalid, finding that
your natural voice has pitched itself to
quaver that is a little strange to yourself.
You take little interest in the task Of re-
constructing your room, which is going on
without your cooperation; you find your
self listening for the doctor; in your con-
strained position you bathe your hands and
face awkwardly; the water runs up your
arms and trickles of your elbows without
appearing to surprise you very much,
although you can't remember that this is its
usual custom; you are little irritated that
you upset some things and drop others SO
easily, and when you are out of breath at
fha nj IF {1s1 -r
ence with yourself Certainly you are going
to be sick and you are not used to it, nor
very sure that you shall like it.
The General Takes the Field.
The doctor comes. Happy invalid that
you are, you have a personal friend and
physician In the same man; CHEEKY, quick,
confident, a man to whom you dare not lie;
whom you are convinced knows more about
yourself than you can tell him; to him your
extended tongue Is a mysterious parchment,
written over with characters that are Sim
attic hierogyphs to you but plain English
to him; he is on easy, familiar terms with
your tonsils, and knows by name and sight
all the Greeks residing in the region of your
diaphragm, and all the Latin fellows on both
sides of the road between your pharynx and
stomach. You feel little better even be-
fore you have the prescription filled, and
you hear, with sigh of satisfaction, since
it must be so, his parting injunction, fired
backward over his shoulder as he passes out
of the door, "Stay in bed"
Now, this begins to be something like
being sick; your conscience reproaches you,
a little; tells you really this is luxury
that you can't afford. A woman wouldn't
give up and 20 to bed in this easy fashion.
But then you reflect that it would be 100
per cent better for the woman if she would,
and you are not going to commit suicide
just because she does. And if you should,