Morning journal and courier., 1892-04-05
STRAWS.

A drowning man will grasp at straw.
So will thirsty one.-Washington Star.
A man is as old as he feels, but not al
ways as big, not by heap.-Indianapolis
journal.
clouds? Don't they hold the rains?-Lowell
Courier.
Professor-Please give an example of
actions speaking louder than words. Ad-
let-When a man calls for soda water and
accompanies his order with wink, sir
Brooklyn Life.
s'Talk of your good dinners! 1 ate one
"What did you have?"
''Stewed lamb and boiled ham. In
dianapolis journal.
Tommy's Toilet.-Tommy Gnquiringly)
-Mamma, is this hair-oil in this bottlel
Mamma-Mercy, mol That's mucilage.
Tommy (nonchalantly)-Igu guess that's why
can't get my hat off.-Good News.
"What has become of your new silk
hat, old msn?" 81 gave it to the porter of
Pullman car" ''What did you do that
for4' SIT was cheaper to give it to him
than to have him brush it."-Clothier and
Furnisher.
Cora-Jake, 1 don't think you and 1 can
ever marry. Jake too timid to PROPOSE
Why, dear2 because you think, as this
is leap year, 1 should do the proposing, and
I can't make up my mind to do it."-New
York Herald.
George-Whewl What can be the mat
ter? Telegram says: "Come home imme-
diately." George crushing to his suburban
home, one hour later)-Ten me quick, my
dear What is its Young wife-The baby
said Mamma.
Suitor-I have come to ask for your
daughters hand and at the same time to
deposit my property of $4,000 marks in
your bank. Banker-Whatl and to such
q reckless man you expect me to intrust
my daughterl-Fliegende Batter.
Smart Boy-Plesse, ms'am, it was two
minutes after nine when you got here.
When ye're late you always keep us after
school. Teacher-Very well. You can all
stay and keep me after school, IL you wish.
Smart boy ubsides.-Good News.
Temporary Shortage.-Wife-That new
bonnet Husband-My dear, you can't
have that new bonnet Pve been nominal
ed for high position of public trust, and
it will take all the money I can rake and
scrape to buy votes.-New York Weekly.
A True Prophet.-Young medical man
Thank goodness, l have pulled through my
exams at last. 1t is horrible to think of all
the hard work I have had to go through
these last four years. Elderly practitioner
Well, my dear colleague, there Is one
consolation; you won't have anything to
do for a long, long while now.-Der Floh.
Mr. Blowhard-I tell you what, / be-
lieve in a man being supreme in his own
family. No woman could over Tele-
phone-Ting-ling-a- -a-ling br-r-r-r-rl "E1-
cuse me moment. Hellol Is that you,
nv dearl Very well, I'll be home at 6.
Where's that! Woman's suffrage meetingl
All right. I'll mind the baby. Ting g-ling."
New York Sun.
Out of Observation.-Aiss De Fashion
I've been having perfectly lovely time;
teas, and parties, and music, and dancing,
and privats theatricals, and everything you
can think Of Haven't had 80 much fun
for a year. Friend (shocked) - What
During Lenta Miss De Fashion-Oh, its
all right, dear. We we're in the country.
New York Weekly.
Yabaley-Hello, Wickwirel Rheuma-
tism1
wickwire-No. I stepped on q spool
lust before dinner and came down on the
dining room floor like thousand of brick.
NY wife has been crying ever since.
Yabsley (wistfully)-It must be sweet to
have such sympathetic companion.
| wickwire-Oh, sympathy doesn't inquire
| at all. I Jared her best piece OF chins
| off the table.-Indisnspolis Journal.