The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-06-25
HUMOROUS.

-StlVth"- We GOV our monthly
rsalinody:" Mrs. Simvthc 'i'rr what?.'
Smrthc Our long meter from The gas
rcmrany--N. Y. Herald.
WHAT'S your son .JpSiar doin-""
said a n~eighbnr To Farmer Bcgosh.
Wall" was the reply. he thinks he's
iiggin' halt. but he's maxim garden
Washington Star.
There is such a thing rs CARRYING
a joke too far" remarked FunnicuS. af-
ter he had visited Il dozen newspaper
offices. at all of which his joke had been
1cclined.-Yorkers Statesman.
-Fastlrigh =" old Soak has Joined
the city Improvement socictr?!~ Sharp
leigh Why moi? Hasn't he stayed ur
At night 10 decorate this t"wn for tn,
las: ten ycars""-N. Y. Tribune.
-~Hirks-"Sce thos' two ladies over
there. They seem To he enjoying them
selves hugely" Wicks-"Ycs: | won
der which of their dear friends they
are picking Ia picccs.-Boston Tran.
script.
In the Furniture Stnrc.-Ladv-
What has become of those handsome
sidcbuards ynu had when we called
LAST" Salesman 0hashful. yet graft
ficti-"1'vc shaved them off again,
mis>.-Pick-Me-tp.
Hound to Risc-''If I were only rs
ambitious as this Internal nccktie.
sighed Nudge. as he pulled down that
ornament for the fifth time in an hour.
I'D br worth a million dollars this very
minute. indianapolis Journal.
A yacht was in Bath awhile ago
named Psyche" 4 man upon the
wharf observing the name spelled it out
and remarked: We'll. may ! he obfus-
ticatcd if hat isn't the blankcst way of
spelling fish that | yer saw?"-I.ang"r
Commercial.
A BAD Freak -Withcrby-'I mad,
the mistake of nv life this morning. |
told my wife | didn't like her new
gown" Flankingtnn-"What, was She
angry?- Withcrby-"Oh. no. il wasn't
Cloak Review.
lie Knew It.-Your arm is mis-
placed. sir said Amy. rcbukirgly. To
young bunker. who had cncirclcd her
waist. Yes" replied the ~unabashed
Young man: 1t would not have been
placed there if you had not been a
mis- .-Dctrnit Free Press.
Had Been There.-Maidcn listen-
ing to Memberships Wedding March,
i don't see why they have the clash
ing of the cymbals." Young Mrs. Bene-
as a symbol Of the clash
ingS which are to follow. of course
Kate Fields Washington.
-Employer-"Glad to see you are
able to be here to-day. TomkinS." Tom.
kins ishecpishlyl-'Ycs. sir En-
ployer-"I was afraid from the way
you looked at the hall game when your
favorite nine were defeated that Won
wouldn't be able to get herc.-N. Y.
Herald.
Every Second Counts. Rivers
You have IA threc-minute horse al
] don't see what you want of
one that can make it in 10 Banks
lof the suburbsD-'You don't, Why,
great Scott. Even with my three-min-
ute horse | miss a train four or five
times a week..-Chicago Tribune.
Why He Didn't Like England
Rigby-"What are you going to do this
summer: going across the pond?r
/ think I'll knock
the continent a bit. We know"
Rigby-"And you won't stop in En-
Digby-"Naw. / think not"
Rigby-"Why not?" Digbv-"Weally,
leah-boy, / vas ovah there lawst yeah,
iont-ye-know. and me Amewican accent
was so noticeable that there was WEAKLY
pleasure in life."-Columbus Post.
Then and Now.-Jones lin the hon.
.,ymoon)-''I can not imagine. wiley,
what is the matter with my razor. 1t
mas an edge on it like a saw" Mrs.
Jones (timidl-l-'Oh, darling, al you
me? | cut off some hooks and
Eyes from an old waist with that razor,
it wasn't real sharp then" Jones
quietly)-D-dearest, you must be
You might happen to cut off
me of your pretty little fingers" Ten
years later.-Jcnes (crossly)-''Sone
Internal idiot has been tampering with
razor" Mrs. Jones (icily)-'It must
,ave been yourself then. as no one ever
it but you."-Dstrelt Frss Pres