Rock Island daily Argus., 1892-06-06
His SCHEME.
He Ur folds st to M. Spotcash, but There
AFRO no Returns.

1Here came KNOCK at the door and q
man entered.
This is Mr.. Spotcash, is it not?" he
asked.
at IS"
'My name is Ardup-Orville Ardup."
"Well, sir, what can r
"Well, am the inventor of a device
that will require little capital to de-
velop it, but there is big fortune in it,
and am willing to go shares with any
man that will furnish the money. l
have come to you first, because of your
well Known
Skip all that. Come to business"
''Yes, sir. Briefly, Mr.. Spotcash, /
have hit upon an idea which, if carried
into practical effect, will prevent trou-
sers from bagging at the knees. 1t will
absolutely and forever do away with the
unsighIly'-
"Pshawr
"Hear me out, Mr.. Spotcash. The
great Disagreement of masculine attire
today is baggy kneed trousers. Every
tailor, every man of fashion, every per-
son who has given the subject any
thought whatever will tell you the same
thing. Witness the efforts made by
well dressed men to overcome this de-
feet. Observe how carefully some of
them pail up the garment at the knees
when they sit down. See what pains
others take to retain the fore and aft
crease up and down the legs. Candidly,
Mr.. Spotcash, do you admire creased
pants-I beg pardon-trousers:"
WHY
''Of course you do not. Four or five
years ago a man with pair of creased
trousers would have been blackballed
by any club and would have been steer
ed into back seat by the usher at any
fashionable church as a second rate
chap who wore hand-me-downs. How
Is it now? l know men personally, Mr..
Spotcash, who make practice of fold
ing their trousers at night and placing
them under their mattresses so that the
crease shall be there in the morning.
Others put ironing boards or long wire
stitfeners inside the legs of the garment
for the same purpose. But it doesn't
work, sir. 1t is only a makeshift. 1t
merely puts off the catastrophe. The
baggy knee is inherent in the garment
itself as now made. Mark mel say as
now male. My plan is to attack the
evil in the beginning-to destroy the
possibility of baggy knees by making
the fabric of something that will not
bag"
THAT is simply preposter"-
81 beg your pardon, Mr.. Spotcash. 1t
seemed so to me at first. But nothing
is insurnountable to a man of energy
and resources. The idea occurred to
me at first of fastening small elastic
rubber bands or strips on the inner side
of the knees, but | soon saw this would
not do. Then l thought of the plan of
weaving the rubber into the cloth itself,
but this would be equally Objectionable.
1t would make the cloth wrinkle I'M
equally and look odd. Finally the idea
struck me of having the fabric itself
woven more tightly at the knee than
anywhere else, so it could not give.
You see the philosophy of the thing.
There is more strain at the knees than
any other portion of the garment. Make
it absolutely unyielding at this point,
and the question is solved. To do this
of course will require special machinery
applied to the looms now i'll use, and
this is where the expensc'-
''But look here
Il know what You are thinking of
now. You are wondering why the rest
of the garment could not be shrunk in
making. so it would expand more than
the Knees
e r IL
kind, sir. | have now given YOU five
minutes of my time and l have no more
to spare. Your invention or device,
Mr.
''Ardup, sir-Orville Ardup."
''ls impossible, ridiculous, preposter-
Gus and there is no reason why this in
terview should be prolonged another
minute. l have no money to invest in
any crack Drained, nonsensical schemes,
sir"
81 had thought of suggesting $4,000"
said the caller, ''as suitable amount to
spend in experimenting, but am willing
to come right to bedrock. VIII you lend
me S1.75 on the idea?'
Il viii not, sir"
'Say quarter of dollar"
eff you don't get out of here"-
"Shall we say fifteen cents?"
"James-"
"You needn't call anybody, sir" said
the visitor, with offended dignity. Il
scorn to debase myself by any further
application. l shall not come down an.
other cent l am now going across the
way" he added, moving toward the
door, ''to lay a business proposition before
the firm OF Gettup & Howell, and when
you see me again, sir, l shall probably
be riding IN carriage with pair of
stump tailed roans in front and a side
whiskered English coachman on the
box"
With look of imperial scorn he went
out, slamnIing the door behind him.
Chicago Tribune.