davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
ANOTHER LOSS FOR ROME.
Cardinal Simeoni, Formerly PaPaI see
Rotary of - .te, Goes Hence.

Cardinal SimeOni Formerly PaPaI see.
rotary of St.te, Goes Hence.
RoHE, Jan. l5.-l;ome, that IS eccleSiasri.
cal Rome, suffered two seyerelosscs yc>ter
day-Manningand Simeoui. The latter vas
formerly papai secretary of state ami sue
cumbed to an attack Of Ia grippe yester
day, after an illness of several days Clio.
vannI SimeOui Was born NJ Paliani July
%, 1916. and having been ordained a priest
he was, on accuuu- Of his learning en-
plOycd in Offices of Importance all his lii,
He rose step by step until in 1919 he Wa
made u cardinal by Plus TX. and on the
death Of Cardinal tutonelli the same pope
appointed him secretary of state " hen
Pope Leo came in Simconi was succeeded
rs secretary of state by Cardinal FruucLs
in March, 1873 when Pope Leo appoiulc.
Cardinal Simconi project general of the
propaganda. When the rcumenical conn
oil OF the Vatican was convOked Ng-.
Simeoni was one ui the advisers for the
commission Of Oriental churches and ms
siouS for ecclesiastical discipline
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

and social questions, following the Jrenu
OF Rome's policy. His jubilee was cele-
DRAFTED with grea poIHp June :, $3.50.
The End of His Career.
The cardinal WIS spared suffering at the
close of his life although conscious 10 the
last. The bishop OF Stafford WAS ut his
bedside at 0 ciOcka.m. yesterday The car.
dinal was rapidly sinking, but he Wa,
able to request that mass he said, ana IL
was celebrated by the bishop in the pri-
vate oratory adjoining the sick chamber
In the meantime Canon tombstone
watched by the bed At ego O'Clock
Bishop Stafford returned and seeing a
marked change in the cardinal com
menced TO repeat the prayers tor the dying
The cardinal smiled on hearing the fami!-
lar words and moved his lips. At rs he
fell into quiet sleep and remained in that
condition uRii, d attn came nj $50, when,
without Struggle, he yielded up his
breath
Leaves His Property to His Sister.
The body had been clothed ia its archie
piscopal robes pre- paratory to the lying in
state in the pro-calhedral, where the cardi-
naPs hat and othc. insignia Of his high Of
ice aS prince of he church will be added
Cardinal Manning has left Will, brief and
simple in terms, for his property was small
The little he hud he gives nearly all to his
nearest relative, a sister, aged ~ years.
Left an Autobiography.
The cardinal lift an autobiography.
which he dictated during leisure period Of
the past few years. One section of the
work deals in an interesting way with the
period of his COZ version to the Roman
Catholic faith. 1t i awaited with curios-
ity by many who wish TO compare it with
the famous Apologize Pro Vita Sua" OF
Cardinal Newman
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
The Green Goods scoundreIs Again

NEW YORK, Jan. 1.-Two green goods"
swindlers and their would-be accomplice
were captured by detectives in this city
yesterday. When arrested the sharpers
gave their names as Charles Jensen.
John Adams, and Thomas r. Radcliffe "a
farmer of Kincman, Park county, Ind }. the
latter being the one who is called usual Y
the victim but vino i victim" because
the other scOundrels are too sharp TO give
him what he comes for Jensen and Ad-
ans were held for trial on charges of at
tempted grand larceny. Radcliffe was
taken to the house Of detention
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
FInx Years Old and a Thief.

NEW York, Jan. 15.-Joseph w. Mabee
for many years trusted clerk in the
WestcLester County Savings bank at Tar
rytOwn, is discovered to be a defaulter
The amount OF his defaication is placed at
$4,000 and extends over a period of four
teen years. Mabee, who is over 80 years
old, has confessed and has made partial
restitution in the matter
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

RICHMOND, Mo, Jan. 15.-Major r. J.
Williams famous war mule, odd julie"
died "Wednesday morning at the age Of
81 years Major Williams bought "Old
julie in Mississippi in 1S63 and rode her
throughout the war. Since the war She
has worked on the Williams farm until
four years ago, when she was relieved al d
n cosy stall in the barn was given her
She had been known for some time as the
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
BROWER BOLTS THE TRACES.
Iowa Senators Elect CIin Secretary. but
IaiI as 70 the Othrr..


Dies MoINES. Jun 15.-The senate was
the scene yesterday II two surprises The
first was when Lieutenant Governor Poy-
ner announced that hereafter he would
rule that a majority of senators voting
was all that was necessary to elect officers.
The second came later Al but three scna-
tors were present and the abscntccs were
not Republicans Il vote Wa taken for
chief clerk, and il resulted: Cliff, EpDub-
lican, y votes, EHgl, voting for Kennedy.
Democrats not voting Puyncr ordered
the names Of eleven Democrats to De
called, and then announced that Cliff was
elected. Shields, Democrat, said that he
would ut some future time file a protest.
4 Surprise on the Other side.
The roll was then called for the election
OF q first assistant secretary, The Demo
Gratis voted for ". r. C0nkIing. the Re
publcan- for l.. f. ARMSTRONG. and Englc
voted for Crawford Davis Before the Ic-
suit was announced senator Brewer. who
had rcfrained from Voting. arose and said
that rather than agree to certain condi-
tiOns said to have been made by Engle for
his support, and to an election of officers
that might be changed when the uov.
lieutenant governor took his seat. and see
Iug no use IN prOIungiug the deadlock, a.
no principle was involved, he would vote
for Conkliug. This settled il. All the
other Democratic nominees were elected
and Brewer voted f0r them all.
When Bcstow Takes His seat.
There j. some talk that Senator Brower
viii move to reconsider the vote by which
Cliff was elected and vote to put into the
Office Secretary Pa sons. of Linn, the
Democratic nominee. Whether ne does OF
not it IS quite certain that about the first
act of the Dcmocr; Is after Lieutenant
Governor Bc-iov is ilauguratcd win Dee to
elect Il new secretary. The house -hrld
two sessions yesterday, bHt transacted no
business The Inauguration ceremonies
will probably take place next Wednesday.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
Illinois Charitable Institutions.

SPRINGFIELD Jan. 15-The financial
record OF the eleven state charitable insti-
tutions for the quarter ended Dec 81
shows that the average number of inmates
was 1,lE? The average cost per capita for
maintenance was $465l The total gross
cost for maintaining the institutions
was 1881, So and the total cost to the state
S3lG,33?. The average number of inmates
Of the soldiers ana sailors home was gUl,
and average cost per capita Of maintain
ing them was 50
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
THE GREAT MANNING DEAD.
Manning, Roman Catholic \ rchbisho p oi
WestmInstor, suddenly Called.

Manning, Roman Catholic Archbisho OPP al
Westminster, suddenly Called.
LONDON, Jan. l5.--Almost simultau-
eously with the announcement Of
the death of Prince Albert Victor London
was startled yesterday morning with the,
announcement of the death of IA man
whose influence on this country has been
UNNECESSARILY greater than that of the
prince, although he could not have the
same influence on the future of the conn
try as was possible in the princes case
Cardinal Manning died at 500, forty min
utes before the demise Of the prince Tue
cardinal has been in feeble health for some
time from old age but his death was
caused rather suddenly by an attack Of
bronchitis, complicated with pneumonia.
Sketch of His Life.
Henry Edward Manning was born Mt
Tolleridge, Hertfordshirc, July II. lSO~
He was educated at Harrow and Oxford.
being graduated with first class honors
He began life rs a Church of England cler-
gyman, and remained in that communion
until 1851, when he became a convert 20
Rome, to the dismay Of many persons in
England. From that time on his advance
ment was steady and he finally reached
the archbishopric of Westminster, and was
made cardinal by Plus TX. OF late years he
had taken much interest in labor matters
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
sent sympathy to the Queen.

WASHINGTON, Jan. l5.-Ninister Paunce.
fote yesterday formally announced 70 the
president the death of Prince Albert
Victor Secretary Blaine Immediately
cabled the following to Minister Lincoln
at London; Express deep regret and sin
cere coincidence of the president by reason
of the lamented death of the Duke OF
Clarence and AvOndalc"
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
Bankruptcy and Its Consequences.

Banker discovering burglar in the
act OF opening his safel-Stop What is
it you want here?
Burglar-Now, don't kick up row,
old man. only wanted to see if my
deposit is here all right. There's no
trusting ones banker nowadays.-Lus-
tige Batter
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

JACKSON, Jan. IA distinct shock of
earthquake was felt here few minutes
past 2 O'Clock yesterday morning. The
shock was accompanied by roaring
sound which awakened nearly every resi-
dent Of the city. The earth appeared to
yibrate from east to west. The shock last
ed about four seconds.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
Murder over Bottle of whisky.

CoBINAE, Mich. Jan. l5-Early y,s,rr-
day morning Dan Macarthur, laborer %.
this city, was murdered By Charles SpunE
and ban Beajun. labUrer> from Hunt,
spur, and two other men- Chamber, and
T. C. Ginni~are held - accessories. The
trouble was over y hottie Of whisky which
the nlmrtt tl...d IIlnl nn-e..-.ah
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

MEMPHIS Jan. i5--Ilon Robert j. Ches.-
ter, the oldest Mason in the world, died at
Jackson, Tenn, yesterday morning, aged
q" years. Mr. Chester served on the stair
Of Andrew jackson, hi, kinsman, at tn,
battle of New Orleans He east his frs.
vote for Madison, and has voted FOR every
Democrat ever since that time. Mason~
from all parts Of the country viii attend
Tho lLneInL.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
Waterbury BrA,, work. Burned.

WATERBURY, Conn, Jan. l5.-The works
of the Waterbury brass company were
burned early Thursday morning The loss
viii reach 500, Geo, well insured. Two
hundred and fifty hands are thrown out OF
employ
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
mississippi Frozen at ST. Louis.

ST. Louis Jan. Is For the first time in
four years the Mississippi river is frozen
over at this city. The ice-gorge begins 1t
Carondelet, nine miles south of this city.
and extends ia the liuois shore River
men express the fear II ut the river will nos
be open for boats insid of thirty DAYS
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
DEATH VERY BUSY.
The "insatiate Archer" Counts
Two More Victims.
MANNING AND SIMEoNI PASS AWAY

L q
Two Eminent PreIates ofthe Roman Cath
Ollie Church Die on the Same Day as
Prince Albert Nictor-Some Account of
Their Careers-EnGland's Flag at Half
Mast All Over the World-Intense Sor-
row of the Princess of Wales and the
oueen-Heartbroken Princess May.
LONDON, Jan 15-The "meteor flag of
England" was at half-nast all over the
world yesterday wherever the telegraph
could fash the news that Prince Albert
Victor was dead When the solemn toll
ing Of the great bells in St. Paul's cathe-
dral Were heard yesterday morning, they
conveyed to every one within hearing Of
their dcep-mouthed booming the fact that
the duke Of Clarence add Ayondale had
passed away. The bells of st. Paul's are
never tOiled save on the occasion OF the
death Of an heir to the throne, and there
fore no further information was necessary
for the people Of London to make them
aware that theduke had finally succumbed
The death took place at g a. m. The prince
was born Jan ), lSj4
COnnaught Arrives at Portsmouth.
The Duke of CUnnaught and Strathcrau.
uncle OF Prince Albert Victor, and per
sOnai aid-de-camp to the queen, arrived al
Portsmouth at noon from Osborne. lie
Travelled in the royal yacht Albert and Vic
toria, which entered port with the ensign
al bali mast. As the royal yacht got
abeam OF the flagship Victory the lattcr's
ensign was lowered to half mast, and this
movement was fOHowrd by al the other
ships in Che harbor The Duke of Con
naught Immediately landed and took
special train ut once for Sandring-
ham.
CGn~crN aii.c Papers View.
The - James Gazette in an article
which is believed to reflect the general
feeling says. 1T would be sycophancy to
say that the hapless prince was regarded
with enthusiastic observation-disclosures per
sonal regard by "a majority Of those over
whom he might have ruled We have the
best reason to believe that in he death of
the Duke Of Clarence and Avondale we
have lost promising young prince, whose
untimely taking of would claim our need
OF sorrow even without the exceptional
circumstances Of the occasion. But it is
the circumstance OF the approaching mar
riage in which a special pathos lies"
Beloved by His Mother and the Queen.
But If the British public accepts the
event with little real sorrow As to the
ID ., , .iS VI IN m
tn '','U nv t l H W.! ~
ON. 40 ~ '''' "e','' S''ee' IL
T., ',''I ''lS
M -, . ''D" 20 ner'
~ - ~ "''''.' "''N PrE sicaiiS'
!, go. ,...t 3, -, =. nv " a. a
ttat,,,I;i-' c,t, = az" iT0"iie''
~ Er,,,,,,,.- a il''
- 10 m ~ sue itii
:,l J' ,'' NV vi VI 'He llle
-. "..'.'" rev "eeNS; ms
49, - ''''''l. =" r''e'ii'h
-, - ',''"" "a i'"'1
orr III, "l',' '''il"''-
49,. Co.., LOW 80. IVY viz
Btt''ii' ''if'''' t''Ii0 ana ilit lllt1
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
lie ark0 c0its

for an inactive liver to do its work,
exposes himself TO all the diseases
that come from tainted blood.
Don't wait! Languor and loss of
appetite warn you that graver ills
are close behind. You can keep
them from coming; you can cure
them if they've come with DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
It's the only blood and liver medi-
cine that's guaranteed, in every case,
to benefit or cure. Your money
back if it doesn't. Thus, you only
pay for the good You get. Can you
ask moreE it cleaDses the system
and cures pimples, blotches, erup-
tons and I'll skin and scalp dis
eases. Scrofulous affections, as
fever sores, hip joint disease,
swcllings and tumors Weld to
its superior Alternative properties.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
ILLINOIS REPUBLICANS.
The State Convention To Be Held at
Springfield May 4.

Springfield May 4.
CHICAGO, Jan. 15.-The Illinois Repub-
ican state central committee met at the
Grand Pacific yesterday and decided to
hold the convention for nominating state
officers and electing delegates to the Min
neapolis convention at Springfield May 4
next. All the prominent Republicans in
the state, including Governor Fifer, were
on the ground. The days caucussing made
itapparent that Governor Fifer will have
comparatively smooth sailing in securing
a denomination, and that Illinois will send
solid Cullom delegation to the national
convention
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

ALBANY, y. y, Jan. l5.-Upon the que-.
ton of a new enUmer Ition bin several sen.
ators yesterday a~kei TO he excused from
voting, stating that hey had not read tie
bill and could vote in diligently. The sen
ate refused to @scuSe them, and they r-.
fused to vote 4 resolutiOu WINS then
passed declaring the senators in contempt
and deprived Of falling any part il the
proceedings until pIrgcd of contempt.
This was done in accordance with a rule VI
the senate The enumeration bin was
passed, seventeen senators voting for il.
The Republicans vii not say what they
will do III the future
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
The Right People In the Right Place.

The Brewers should to Malta" go,
The Boobies" all to "SciIly."
The "Quakcrs" to the Friendly Isles
The "Furriers" to Chill"
The little snar!ing, caroling babes,
Who break our nightly rest,
Should be packed of 10 Babylon"
To "Lap"-iand or to ''Src~t."
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15
Tailmrc al Clncinnnti-

CINCINNATI, Jan. 1.-The Gooch lee
Gream Freeze: company failed yesterday
Liabilities, Sl7, 900; ass, Is, $4,000
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

Down the tracks lay what was LEFT OF the
street D,r smashed INTO a mass Of spliu-
tered wood, fragments ut glass and twisted
bars OF IRON Amid the mass Of wrcckuge
were hall = dozen bleeding and scuSelcss
forms. THESE were tenCerly raised and
carried to the saloon, while their fellow
passengers les seriously injured were
helped tn the same place, where doctors
waited On them.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-01-15

and social questions, following Ine Irenu
of Rome's policy. His jubilee was cele
brated with grea. poInp June ;, 1880.
The EnJ of HIS Career
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Two GREAT REMEDIES.

The human citadel is open to attacks
from two sources and aside from accidents
these two are the avenues from which all
of the maladles that afflict the race spring.
The first of these are what is known as
the excretory organs-the lungs, the kid
neys and the skin. These suffer from
congestion which takes the form of colds.
Starting from what is called a cold the
malades that result are wide spread rang
ing from cough to consumption. They
attack all ages and all stations. No one
Is free from these troubles. There is,
however, remedy that Is a safeguard.
This is REID'S GERMAN COUGH
AND KIDNEY CURE. 1t contains no
poison, and it will heal any form of lung
trouble or any malady that arises from a
cold. The other class of disease arise
from arrangement of the digestive organs
and result in constipation. When the
bowels do not act the stomach soon refuses
to digest the food and we are troubled
with indigestion and long train of dis.
orders that embrace large range of mala-
dies. THE LAXATIVE GUM DROPS
will correct any difficulty of this sort.
They contain nothing deleterious, but are
safe and pleasant. Get them of any dealer.
SYLVAN REMEDY CO., Peoria, Ill.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Tho Etiaustt. of Cues.

In China the men take Is much pride
In their hair as women, and the pig
tall is a thing of no little moment In
making the cue the whole head is
shaved except circular patch upon the
crown. The hair from this is braided
and strands of silk are added, which
ends in a tassel reaching to the heels.
In full mourning the black strands are
replaced by white ones, and in second
mourning by light blue or green. 1t is
an objectionable breach of etiquette
for an inferior to enter the presence OF
a superior with his cue wound around
his neck or head, as it is frequently dis
posed of during work, and the greatest
insult one man can offer another is to
pull his cue. 1t seems very odd to see
sailors and soldiers on ship or in bar
racks conbing each others long tresses,
or coolies at the street corner perform
ing the same friendly Office. Custom
forbids a man to wear beard and mus
tache until he becomes grandfather
Waverly Magazine.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
7. Nav BE Interesting to Know

That when excursion rates are made TO Chi.
cago for people who live in the East, TO en-
able them to attend the Worlds Fair next
year, it is cont mplated by the Western
roads TO also make excursion rates from
Chicago to all principal business and tour
list points In the West, Northwest and
Southwest,so that those who desire to spend
a few weeks among their friends in the
Great West, may have an opportunity of so
doing without mourning much additional
expense. 1t may be well TO consider this snb-
ject In advance of actual time of starting,
and the Chicago, Milwa kee x St Paul Rail-
way Co. has issued maps and time tables
and other instructive reading matter, which
it will be glad to furnish free of expense
upon application by postal card addressed
to GEO. Il. HEArFoRD, General Passenger
Agent Chicago, Ill.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
A Coin Collector.

THAT man is great coin collector"
said Bobbie to Uncle George as they
rode ON the horse car
why, he's only the conductor" said
Uncle George.
"Well, what of that?" asked Bobbie.
Hes collected coins from every pas
senger on this car, hasn't he?"-Har-
per's Young People.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Three Advantages.

Besides its wonderful curative power in
attacks of Group, Coughs, Colds, Bronchitis
and Asthma, Dir. Hoxsie's Certain Group
Cure possesses three d sti,lct advantages ouer
Gay preDdration sold, for the, above diseases.
opium in any form. 1t does not cause
nausea or vomiting 80 cents. Address A.
P. HoxsIE, Buffalo, N. Y, manufacturer.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Her Side of 1t.

Witherby-Is this true, old man, that
your wife has left you?
Uppelate (sadly)-I am afraid it is, old
fellow.
Witherby-Why, what's the trouble
or is it something you don't want to
talk about?
Uppelate-Oh, no; it's no secret. She
said she was afraid to sleep in the
house alone all night.-N. Y. Sun.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
at do Won mean
Two Thoughts,

Woman Ito herself)-It scares me half
to death to drive this horse. l wonder
what he'll do next.
Horse Ito himself)-That must be a
woman driving or wouldn't be damned
into everything on the road.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Rapid Aging.

Young Husband-What? You are
twenty-five years old to-day? Why, you
told me year ago, just before the
wedding, that you were only twenty!
Young Wife (wearily)-I have aged
rapidly since l married. -Demorest's
Magazine.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
A Pleasant Evening Ahead.

Mr.. Lightmind (coaxingly to Tommy
Did your sister say she was glad when
you told her called?
Tommy (literally) No. she said she
didn't expect anything else, to-day being
Friday and the 18th of the month";
Chicago News Record.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
At the Marriage Agency,

Would-be Customer-Yes, / would like
to marry, and if you come across a
handsome, young, amiable girl, who
has money and who wants good
home, just drop me postal.
Marriage Broller-I beg your pardon,
but if find that kind of a female Pm
going to marry her myself.-Texas
Siftinrs
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
arc You Yellow:

II 80, OF course you are bilious. which
also implies that you have duh pain aud
tenderness in tho right side, nausea, sick
headache, furred tongue sour breath ana
Indigestion. Hostetter's Stomach Bit'ers
is what you want. Prompt relief follows
its use I'm liver complaint, dyspepsia, con-
stipation, malaria, rheumatism, kidney
trouble and nervousness. Physicians un-
aualitiedly recommend it.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
What He Did.

''What do you do with yourself on
rainy days, Abner?" asked visitor.
''Oh, have little arguments with
mamma" returned the boy.
"What about?"
"Stayin' in an keepin' dry" said Alb.
-Harper's Young People.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
Important to Journalists.

"Tve nit upon great scheme, said a
western editor; Il nearly doubled our
circulation yesterday
How did you work it?'
''See that steel stamp? Well, just
cut out paragraph in the local column
of the whole edition."
Glow did that help the circulation?''
Every woman in town bought an
extra copy."-Texas Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-11-09
In q New York Court.

Mr.. Jurydodger-Your honor, I'm not
fit to be Il juryman.
Judge-You are the best in the panel.
Jurydodgcr-But | can't make head
or tail out of what these lawyers say.
Judge-Neither can |. Take your
seat in the jury box.-Texas Siftings.