West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-01-28
took = seat close to the cheese box
on the counter.

am profoundly grateful TO
you for your kind words OF sympa-
thy and goodwill. but the rccollec-
tion of the past yankS the ambition
fthe future so completely out OF my
jeans breeches that I have but one
desire and that is to 60 down to
posterity as tho Political Martyr OF
the Grand Old Party OF Preston
County" he said with look that
utterly beggars description.
1" But the Journal is authority
for the information that the crack
IN the party is healed up so tight
that Drs. Lauham and Cox, the
late surgeons Of their respective
armies, cannot probe it deep enough
to extract All ohnce Of pus from
the old wound. This being the
case, the united party are anxious
that You announce yourself MS a
candidate for State Senator, which
Is customary to bcstow upon the
old veterans" | said, as | sliced off
hunk OF cheese while the Lieute-
nant was meditating with his head
between his knees.
" That can never be, he replied
between sobs and groans, "for l
once Withdrew my candidacy for
the circuit clerksbip that my party
might be saved the cracking Of the
cracklet, but after all that it was
split in twain and tho Stalwarts
declared war and issued defy TO
put salt on their tails. For three
long and weary months We fought,
bit, gsuged and scratched until
there was not one left with enough
salt to tell the tale" and once more
the gallant Lieutenant found him.
self overcome with grief, and | took
occasion TO devour the cheese. "If
| could only persuade myself to
believe that this crack WAS healed
up beyond Breakdown ] would be
the happiest Eglonian within the
crack Of my voice. Not that
shall ever be q candidate. but have
dear friend whom | shall sacrifice
myself for il we can only get the
Stalwarts to agree to support him."
and with a shrug OF the shoulders
and Macedonian cry the valiant
Lieutenant who had faced the chin
music Of the Stalwarts on many a
Preston hilltop succumbcd, and
left me TO tussel with another chunk
OF cheese which the obliging clerk
handed me.
" Excuse me, Lieutenant, for
disturbing you in your weird and
enchanting trance, but my time is
limited and, though weary foot
sore and cheese -foundered, must
travel on. Tell me the name Of
your dear friend whom you intend
to offer yourself up as sacrifice for
and will convey the same to the
people," which had the effect Of
arOusing him from his succumbed.
trace, which is big word to use OF
District Controller.
Friend and former boomer Of
the Martyrcd Julius, / will tell you.
His namc T Lloyd Shaifcr, the
noble son OF old Union, and We
earnestly beseech the people Of
Preston to place him in the Sher-
IFS Office. His elevation to the
Sheriffalty would effectively cure
all the smouldering fire that We
have stored away in our bosom to
annihilate the frst Stalwart who
may run for office. II Gen. Glover
will drill his men and march them
to the primary ard have them 10
shoot in their ballots, branded Z,
"Lloyd Shaffer the Union the
Star Spangled Banner and we sur.
render. hands down - he will have
our sympathy II he ever runs for
constable in Portland district and
II Or. Cox and Judge Shaw will do
likewise they will be kindly remem.
bered when Gabriel blows bis horn.
La the earnest and patriotic utter
ance Of the Journal, the Halfbreeds
are marching in solid column to
The music Of Union District. under
the Old Flag which was riddlod by
Che stalwarts, who captured some
Of the Offices which belonged to us,
but Eho can novor Hold of9or Ia