The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1892-09-12
BACK FROM THE sEAsHORE.

the seashore last week and spent day IN
New York city pouring fish stories into
the incredulons ears Of the Democratic
national committee.
There is a certain awe that wraps the
souls Of the political engineers of the
Democratic party's fate and future, like
funeral garment, whenever their presi-
Dental candidate goes into the woods,
saunters by the seashore, soaks his skin
in the surf or casts his squid for bluefish;
an awe that does not lift until he
is seen again in Madison square. The
Stuffed Prophet on the seashore is
not very imposing figure; he wears a
colored outside shirt and goes without coat
or collar much Of the time. Whatever ma
tive majesty of expression his features
may wear when he solemnly calculates on
the platform, 1.-The tariff is tax" is
greatly marred, if not entirely obliterated.
when his lineaments are smeared with fly
ointment and his complexion repulsively
painted with sunburn.
Under these circumstances there are
many things that might happen to Mr..
Cleveland on the waters of Buzzard's bay
to which he is not exposed in the Manhat-
tan Club, wearing clawhammer coat and
calmly but sternly holding his capacions
chair firmly to the floor. In the Manhat-
tan Club Mr.. Cleveland's obesity is not
obscurity; it is the majesty of candidate
who has the adiposity, if not the arro-
gance, of Henry the Eighth. or of his
portly priest, the full fed Wolsey. But on
the waters of Buzzard's bay "the Stuffed
Prophet" is never safe from the chance of
an accident that might put the party
leaders to wailing and hang the walls of
Buffalo with black.
The Democratic Moses is "a good man.
weighing at least $50 pounds" he is a
robust, if not majestic person, but even
the most enthusiastic Democrat in Wash
ington will not pretend that the "Stuffed
Prophet" is a winged Mercury in Iightness
or quickness. His form is neither 1.-the or
graceful, ard there is an unpleasant rumor
that his feet are not mates, so that in the
attempt to "Singlefoot" it along the stern
and rock-bound coast Of New England
there is always danger that the candi-
dates feet might interfere" and the ris-
ing hope of the Democracy be cast down.
1.-The Stuffed Prophet" would not have to
fall very far in order to break his neck, or,
if he fell backwards, as he has at least
once in his political career, to paralyze his
spine. in which event, if elected, he would
be a sort of living death for his whole
official term.
There are many other chances that the
Democratic candidate takes of calamity on
the seashore. He might forget the COM
mands of the boatman when he tries in
shore fishing, suddenly rise up at criti-
cal moment, upset his boat and become
food for fishes. He could not, unless very
near shore, his garments heavy with their
drink, easily make the land; and as Tor
getting back into a boat, it is about as
difficult as flying; so that if he once fell
into the weeping waves he would 60 down
unto briny death.
OF course there are some minor dangers
The candidate might go in bathing and
some loose Republicans of the baser sort
might steal his clothes; but this while it
would be regarded as a great national dis
grace and revelation of the thin and
superficial nature of our civilization would
not severely interfere with the running
power of the candidate. 1t might make
some iIl-bred Republican partisa n, or ir-
reverent oticeholder smile, but it would
not make him abandon himself to exulta-
ton; it would by no means be SO bad as to
hear that the Democratic candidate had
fallen over cliff 100 feet high and had not
yet returned; that he had been under wa
ter three hours with no visible signs of
resurrection in time for the November
election; that he had been shot by duck
hunting dude from New York city, who
had pointed his gun, in spirit of morbid
lmpertinence, at the august form of the
candidate, and had pleaded in abatement
OF the homicide that he didn't know it
was loaded"
Or the candidate might be shot at in the
surf for porpoise. particularly If he
pulled and snorted as many large, fat men
do when they feel gay and happy and
think none are nigh to modest them or
make them afraid. If the candidate
should take an evening dip in the surf
some awkward Nimrod would be quite
likely TO shoot at the candidate Sin the
cleaning" and hit him in the bowels only
to find out that instead of having wan
.oniy interrupted the marine gambols of a
porpoise he had killed the bull moose OF
the Democratic party.
1t i very clear that there are good
many reasons for anxiety about the Demo
cratic presidential candidate when he
walks by the shores of the deep sounding
sea or goes whacking and crashing his
way through the woods like startled ele-
plant. Romans were never so happy as
when the gloomy !yrant Tiherlus
went into the country at Capri;
never so miserable as when the
emperor got back 20 Rome, but
Cleveland is neither gloomy nor tyrannl-
cal; he is jovisl withou; being frivolous.
| tat without being either ragged or
| saucy, and SO the Manhattan Club
weeps when Cleveland says, II %
fishing" and Mugwumpian Utou!a
| puts ribbons in her hair and whistles
| When Johnny Comes Marching Home
1 ~ hen i. sees "tae Stuffed pronha.D .,,,o>