The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-10-26
Needles Newell News.

This leaves everything calm and So
rene in the Newell section, and tho ma
jority of our people bowing to 'Klng
Cotton" I have hoard several Of our
most substantial farmers say that the
yield Of cotton in this section would be
fully fifty por cent. less this year than 1t
was last.
Our ginners for this season ere Mr.. w.
e. Long, Messrs. Long Bros, aud Messrs.
! Long Bros. g. Merritt. They are all doing
nice work.
The "Alliance Liver Pills. are the won-
der Of the age. Don't be behind tho timcr
during the fatiguos and excitement OF Pres
idential year. Take the "Alliance Liver
Pills" and keep yourself we'll and NOV
Ing.
The proprietors of the "Veriety Store"
are now receiving from tho Northern mar
kets splendid assortment Of goods,
which they would be pleased to have
| their customers examine. They propose
to leave their competitors so for behind
that comparison will be out OF the ques-
ton. Give them call.
A fe1 days ago the following conyerea-
tion occurred between two young somno-
lent mortals who reside not far from somo.
whore, and Was overheard by this writer: :
Med Needle in his last contribution to
the INTELL1dEEcER, said that he had some
good jokes on US boys, and intimsted that
be would tell them in hi, next letter. II
be tells about me falling out at that door
I'll give him what Paddy give the drum
next time meet him. Now, you watch
II I don't" "Yes, I'll 'rei.e sand with
him, too, if he even hints that it was me
that metook Mr.. IS spittoon for q CEN
tire table ornament and asked Miss -
how it came to bo on the floor" Be care
full, boys, be careful timo diucloses ell
things.
1t is indeed gratifying to know that the
Third Party failed to grind In Florida and
Georgia. Ifit was not for the abundant
Doodle of the G.. o. P. have an idea that
we wouldn't be bothered with these little
lick skillet, Prohibition and Third Party
side-shows nohow. Bdwell and W.s-
yer have never seen, bat I imagine That
they are two men that you might call dali
sizes, two men that are making for the Re-
publican Party behind Third Party and
Prohibition masks, two men that will, If
Benjamin Harrison is reelected Presi-
dent Of the United States, receive Two
handsome "little purses" filled with the
stuff that makes the mare 20, and many
thanks for services rendered in the CAM
paign of 'o2 in behalf Of the "Grand Old
Party"
The base. ball season is about over, and
in this section the pugi,istic fever has sub
sided. AS part compensation therefor let
US lift our voices In gratitude and sing,
praise God from whom all blessings
fow."
Some three or four months ago "Don
Limo" a correspondent OF the Peoples Ad-
vocate, said that he had the swcll-head,
and asked me if the "Ailiance LIVER Pills"
were recommended for that disease. I
examined the letter that he had written
and found that while he had very bad
case of swell-head, his political bowels
were in bad condition also. As he had
come TO me for advice I Immediately
wrote outa prescription for him which
read as follows:
Take three Alliance Liver Pills, i'm
msdiately, rub occasionally with politi-
clans quick relief, tighten up at least
twice week with brain-box screw.driv-
or, and be sure to keep yourself free from
exposure until your head resumes it's
natural shape" Don didn't seem to real
Ing what I told him he went off with
Duoksworth & Smith on threshing
tour and got his big head all full of dust
and rotten grain. When he came beok
home he wrote letter to the advocate in
which he told about his tour with the
thre, e,hermen, intimsted that he had
atroph Of ths brain. expressed special
desire to obtain employment in the New
ell Soap Factory, and said that he thought
that If be could get to sleep all the time 1t
would do hiul more good than any of the
remedies I had prescribed. This is not
written in Jest; il is the solemn facts as
recorded by Don himself. There is Ger
tainlv screw loose about the lad some
where. To prove it will here reproduce
part OF bis letter that appeared in the
Adpocat: Of October 3rd: "Well, Mr.. Edi-
tor 1t is about mail time, and 1 will have
to bring this epistle to close. This will
be, perhaps, the last you will hear from
me in some time, as am out of money,
stamps, paper, envelopes, pens and ink.
I am also out Of soap, but think can
sell few dozen of eggs in o day or two.
I will ,order supply from the Newell
Soap Factory. sec In the last INTELLI.
aENcER that Ned Needle the president of
the factory, has gone crazy and will have
to be sent to the asylum, and it is likely
that the factory will suspend business for
awhile" Don is undoubtedly fit sub
jsct for the lunatio asylum, or ore OF the
iazieat persons in the country. Why you
can't hardly strike little darkey in this
section this time of the year but what has
got money enough to buy g little station
Org ocoo ohm allv