Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-07-20

my glory. 1 had no martial cloak to
wrap aronnd me, but l felt small
enough to conceal myself behind a
spiders web. L began to wonder at
last IT the cooking would seem the
same, even if 1t had been done by my
wife. 1t struck me pretty forcibly.
And conscience would keep on pro-
pounding the questions:
"Would her popover5 seem as nice
as Mad lines even though better?
Would her Dixie b:scuit cure indIges-
tion even If they we're lighter than a
feather? Would her gem rolls call up
in memory the dear wife who had
made themP"
L was staggered.
The kitchen for one solid week re-
manned a sealed book to me- And still
in my superinduced ignorance / could
not help the reflection that the longer 1
remained away from the kitchen the
less ravishing seemed the bread, the
po, rer the rolls, and the dozen other
things emanating from that source, 1
had before thought so fine.
Really, could it be that L had fallen
in love with the cook? and, blind as
Cupid, 1 had wor hiped the rolls because
they were hersl Rslished the mufIin5
because she had made theml Ate her
French toast with the gu5to for wine
when l was scarcely hungry! And
Topped herpancakes onto my plate with
al tcrity because she had male them!
But my wife couldn't cook, so what
was to do; remain from the kitchen?
PrepCsterous!
If every grain of enjoyment must be
denied a man simply because h. is mar
ried, then matrImOny should he aDOl-
ished at once. Yet / had said nothing
in particular to the cook, and yet l will
confess to enjoying agreeable sensations
OF pleasure in the kitchen. | had
simply sat in the great kitchen rocKer
and curiously watched the dapper little
cook in her manipulations of different
utilities Of the kitchen, her arms round
and bare to the elbows, her face flushed
with laudable exertion, a very striking
business air pervading all her move
mentS.
l could see no harm in all this, but
l hau a shrewd little wife. She Is
shrewder than /, and the first thing l
knew | heard carpenters hammers in
the front part OF the house.
1 arose suddenly from my kitchen
seat, l was profoun Ily impressed.
What could it meanp L certainly had
given 10 such instructions; my house
was in first-class repair. Nevertheless,
| hurried through the great hall and L
was nonplussed, or something of that
nature, TO find Mr.. Jasper Dalton, the
master builder of Derry, engaged in
what 1 then regarded as some very use
less repairs.
To my questions as to his object, he
very suavely referred me to my wife,
who, strange enough, sat as placid as a
| Zeno in &. eat easy rocker l had given
her last Christmas. 1his imbittered
the affair, il anything and was dun
founded. But, to my astonishment, she
only referred me to the kitchen with,
to me. very Intelligent and imperial
nod OF the head.
And the carpentry went on.
And the cooking went on.
We met only at meal times.
Daily quietly stole upstairs to watch
the progress of the work while Mr.
Dalton was away to dinner, and very
useless piece of carpentry L found it
from my standpoint. The doors were
OF ak. Running around the panels,
fancy mouldlngs had been placed; not
so bad to look at either, but utterly
useless, utterly. Ornamental strips had
been inserted in the window lambs,
and with a nicely of skill and mastery
adaptation that quite fascinated me, for
l had an artistic conception OF form, of
style, and the little manneTismS of a
crack wood-worker. / was not alto
gether displeased but the none5ssntialty
of the performance quite overwhelmed
|
And beside, why hadn't 1 been con-
sultcdp For never from our matrimonial
connection at the Derry altar, had she
failed to consult me in regard to the
minutest detail of our household affairs,
even to the purchase of a print dress,
if she had ever worn one, which she
had not. And now the entire house
was undergoing a revolution and | was
not even limited to. But something
was in the wind. L would have gwen
that wood-butcher 1ve-dollar note
had he arisen to the emergency and eX-
planned. But he remained absolutely
dumb, and she was just as dumb as he.
wasn't getting fat, wasn't comfort
able either.
Matters had progressed for week or
SO thus, when II seemed to me, dIm!y
perhaps, the bread 1 had praised so
much had lost its aroma, for it had
aroma. The pies had lost their flavor.
The popovers had nearly popped me
over.
Mr.. Dalton had been regular
as clock-work my wife being constant
eye witness to every little, insignificant
detail, going into the intricacies of
carpentry like an adept apprentice, and
| ii, i1I IN
learn and never tire.
| | myself am an eye carpenter, but
not hand carpenter; and once upon
time l attempted to build small box
| to transport an adolescent kitten by ex-
press 10 a friend out of town; and if L
rem ember Alright the box was mon
stroslty, and remains a relic of my car
pentry skill in the woodshed to-day.
And what struck me forcibly now, that
failed to strike me at all then, was the
fact that Mrs. Hlrrity had displayed
very little interest in my carpentry
But. MIR. Daltonl She noted every
slightest move, and even walked down
stairs with him, holding the front door
open until he should descend the steps.
Hnmphl
Iu spite of Madeline's splendid cook
ing, her jumbles, her tarts, l, Mr.. Har-
rlty, barrister, was unaccountably
losing appetite. And as far as L was
concerned her Dixie biscuit might go
to Dixie, so far as l personally cared.
Her vanished buns row looked like so
many dynamite bombs to be hun led at
me for some delinquency. her pam
cakes seemed lie great stove-rimmers.
Had she changed?
| l interviewed the doctor.
No disease.
Mind troubled
Sleep deserted me. l sat up In bed
and nursed insomnia. L walked the
room in dishabilIe, nursing insomnia.
Mrs Harrity never slept better. Her