Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1892-06-14
A SIMPLE TALE.
But 1t Wasn't So Simple When He Told
His Wife.

But 1t Wasn't So Simple When He Told
| His wife.
If there is one thing more than another
calculated to throw a man into gnash
ing-of-the-teeth and tearing-of the hair
condition, it is his attempt to give the wife
of his bosom an account of some ordinary
affair, to which she listens after this fash.
| ion:
He-Oh, my dear, must tell you some,
thing Jack Burroughs told me today
| while
She-Where did you see Jack Bur.
roughs?
He-Oh, we went to luncheon together,
| and
She-How did you happen to go out to
luncheon togetherP
He-Well, we didn't exactly go out to,
gether. l met Jack at the restaurant,
and
She-What restaurant
He-Calloway's, and Jack
She-How did you happen to go to Gallo
ways? thought you always lunched at
Draper's?
He-I nearly always do, but 1 just hap
pened to drop into Calloway's today, along
with Jack, and
She-Does he always lunch at Gallo
way's9
Helm sure, my dear "a little sharply
that l don't know if lie does OR not. 1t
makes no earthly difference if
She-Oh, of course not. Chastity just
wondered If he did. that's all. Go on with
your story.
He-Well, while we were eating our soup,
Jack
She-What kind of soupa
He-Oxtail. Jack said that
She-l thought you disliked oxtail soup,
Howell, l don't care much about it,
but
She-How did you happen to order it If
you didn't care for itS
He-Because l did. Severely But the
soup has nothing to do with the story.
She-Oh, of course not. Qn grieved
tone.) l never said that it did. l don't
see why you should get cross over simple
question. Go on.
He-Well, while we were eating our
soup, Lawrence Hildreth and his wife
came in, and
She-They did?
He-I have just said SO.
She-Well, you needn't be so cross
about it.
He-They came in, and
Shells she prettys
He-Pretty enough. Jack bowed and
She-Does he know them?
ID He-Well, now, do you suppose he would
have bowed If he hadn't known themS
declare If /
She-How was she dressed?
He-How should know never looked
at her dress. What I was going to t ii
you was that
She-Did they sit near your
He-Yes, at the next table. And while
they were ordering Jack said that they
She-Couldn't they hear him9
He-Do you suppose (fercely) that Jack
would haveno more sense than to let them
hear him talking about them. Look here
now
She-James, if you can't tell simple
little incident without getting into pas
sion you'd better keep it to yourself. What |
did Jack sayp
He-He said that Mrs. Hildreths father
was opposed to the match, and
She-How did he know that9
He-Great CRsarl There you go againl |
She-James, will you please remember
that it is your wife to whom you are speak
ing, sir9
He-No other woman could drive me
raving, distracted, crazy, asking silly ques-
lions about
She--James!
He-Every time try to tell you anything
you begin, and YOU
She--James (rising with dignity and say
ing stiffly) I do not propose listening to any
such insulting remarks, and
He-You never listen to anything. That's
the trouble. If
She-When l ask you simple question
YOU
Held say "simple" You've asked me
3 million simple" questions in the last
half hour, just because was going to tell
you that Jack Burroughs said that
She-I do not wish to know what Mr..
Jack Burroughs said, if you cannot tell it
shall have my dinner sent
TO my room, since it is SO painful for you to
Eat with an idiot Retires scornfully,
while he narrowly escapes an attack Of
)-London Tit-Bits