Morning journal and courier., 1892-02-05
CHEAP.

Sausage at wholesale price is dog cheap Texas Siftings.
 People with empty heads most generally h ave tongues that rattle.-Ram's Horn.
 'Is your father in immediate dangeri"
 "Indeed he is There is a doctor up stairs now."-Jester.
 Ethel (showing her engagement ring Don't you admire bis tastei Maud-Ye-es as far as jewelry in concerned.-New Yorl Sun.
 She-I think the Chinese have very mu sical names. He-Indeedi She-Yes There's so much Sing about them.-Art in Advertising.
 Bell Boy - Gentleman in 400 wants another cocktail. Bsrkeeper-Why,h he just had one. Bell Boy-Yes. He says this is for the snake.-Lifs.
 Debtor-I can't pay you anything this month. Collector-That's what you told me last month. Dsbtor-Well, kept my word, didn't Il-Texas Siftings.
 Ethel-George says he sent the blank marriage certificate to me by mail; but it never came. Maud-It was probably thrown out as lottery advertisement New York Herald.
 "What's the charge against this manf' Resisting an officer" "Yer honor," said the prisoner, 'I never knew he was an of ficer. He never hit me with his club once. ."-Washington Star.
 weary-looking man-Doctor. can insom- mia be cureda Doctor-Nothing is easier Anyone can fall into a sound sleep by sim ply trying to count a thousand "Y-e-s, but baby can't count. t."-Good News.
 'I don't take any stock iu that old saw, Two heads are better than ons,'" said the man who had just fitted out his two boys with new hats. "My grsciousl I do,n said the hstter.-Smith, Gray & Go. 's Monthly.
 Clara-Were you invited to the Blacklst
 Msude-Yes, but didn't go, because didn't have a proper gown.
 Clara-Why didn't you go in an improp- CT onei'-Cloak Review.
 Mrs. Roder-Yes, the professor is very absent-minded. The other day they asked him to make an address before the inmates of the insane asylum, and he began with the statement: "As everyone here knows, there is plenty of room at the top."-Bos- ton Jester.
 Perdita-What do you think of his being so infatuated with met Penelope-I think it is waste of time. Perdita (delightedly) Because you think I would not have himl Penelope-No; because know you would take him without his being infatuated with you.-Brooklyn Life.
 Doesn't it annoy you, MT. ProofteIt, to have people sleep under your preachingr' ''Yes," was the reply, fit is rather humili- ating; but then there is this advantage: can preach the same sermon several Sun days in succession without the fact being recognized by my congregation. ."-Boston Transcript.
 ''They really fear she will go insane. You see she found dairy he kept before he met and married her."
 "oh, l see. And the awful revsla' tions-"
 Revelations nothingl It was in cipher and she couldn't read a word of it."-In- dianapolis Journal.
 Smith-Did you reply to one of those personal advertisementsi
 Brownies, l once answered one from 'lady who pined for congenial compan- ionship."
 Smith-With what resulti Brown-She turned out to be Mrs. Brown-Brooklyn Life. '1f you'd had to study when you were @ boy as hard as I've got to study" grum- bled young Quillback over his arithmetic, "you might have made your mark in the world long ago" sT don't think I'm too old to make a few marks yet, my son." remarked the elder Quillback reaching behind the book. case for the family rswhide.-Chicago Tribune.