The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1892-04-05
WOMBN'S CLUBS.
Critical Sketches of the
Individuals Who Always
Constitute Their
Membership.
THEIR FOLLS And CHARACTERISTICS
The Frivolous Member Goes In for
Fun and Gets 1.-THE Tough
Old Dame.

The Ardent Young Member who has
Just Joined. She is so ardent. She has
never had the pleasure Of writing any
statistics before, and now she opens her
r.outh, eyes and note book over them.
To her the horrors Of Russia. the increas-
of crime, the tenement house question,
the race problem, theosophy, physical
culture and drainage are delightfully."-
alarming questions, owe: which she
weeps and Pushes and applauds as their
many sides are presented and discussed.
She listens with respect and awe to every
one who speaks. and trembles with de-
light to find herself a member of such Il
wonderful club. She votes both ways
with a feeble voice or hand, and then
conscientiously wonders IT she oughtnt
to rise and explain, that II new count may
be taken. She never misses a meeting; IS
always early: never gets up to 20 out be-
fore the speaker has finished aud exhibits
superflous qualification If any one speaks
to her. She is very carful to wear her
good clothes to the club and always
spends considerable time on her back
hair.
The Tough Old Member is at once the
admiration and despair of the Ardent
Young Member, who wonders how she
ever dares to glare at the speaker as she
does and have so little respect for him or
her apparently. Sheis never enthusiastic
over anything, frequently turns up her
nose at things in particular or in general,
and often rises and goes out while the
speaker is in the midst of the most de-
lightfully intricate whirl of startling
statistics. The Tough Old Member has
sized up every one in the club. and II the
occasion demands. is not delicate about
expressing her opinions. She stands il
awe of no one, is not deceived over any
ones age or intellect, never applauds,
seldom criticises in any way, but has an
I-know-the- whole-business air, which
shuts up fresh members like the camp
chairs they sit in.
THE FRIVOLOUS MEMBER.
The Frivolous Member Is uot always
we'll spoken of, but often relieves the
meetings of the gloom that sometimes
gathers about them II makes u break in
the mists of monotony in which they are
annually engulfed. Though the majority
of the mem bers do not care to giggle, the
minority that care to, but do not dare to
feel q sort of safety valve in the Frivolous
Member and enjoy her presence. The
Frivolous Member means to be frivolous;
it Is no uncomfortable and unexpected
impulse which besets her. She premedi-
tates and arranges her frivolity that its
startling contrast to other members
grave composure may be unmistakable
and pronounced anG gain for her the dis
tinction which a jerry and spontaneous
frivoIity would never bring.
And we have the Ladylike Member.
Women who fall over chairs II drop
umbrellas have a singing appreciation
of her and Il sneaking hops that she
doesn't know much. She is always com
posed and well attired, listens atteuiiveiy,
only smiles with one side OF her face at n
time and avoids discussion. She has the
same salutation for her twenty-five and
fifty cent neignbors, and people DO not
feel obliged to draw in their feet when
she passes them. The Ladylike Member
is ladylike way through. We do not feel
that she slams a door after her when she
is out of sight or unnecessarily twirls a
chair around like a top to relieve sup
pressed feeling. We somehow feel that
her composure Is build on "a Christian
spirit and q gentle heart.
The Grumbling Member is another
safety valve for the other members. Sure
that every deficiency. from the bylaws to
the trout door mat, have been or will be
attacked by her, the others Gun afford to
assume the amiable virtues which they
nave not, confident that their battles will
be fought for them. The Grumbling
Member Is ever ready to fight battles
scents danger afar off and never gets over
dangers past.
The Grumbling Member approaches the
club with a frown that makes even a
doughty director yearn for refuge tn The
coal scuttle OF a temporary perch on the
top of an elevator.
THE GRUMBLER.
The Vigorous Member Is divided into
two classes-she who accomplisnes some
thing with her vigor aud she who does
not. The former is the leaven Of an often
lumpy club, while the latter is as madden
ing as twenty-four tons of coal sliding
from q four-horse cart. One electrifies.
the other irritates. One makes IA motion
and carries it out. while theOther is flying
about crying what ought to be done, One
brings water, while the other yells "F1rel'
The Vigorous Members ofteu relax, from
criticism or ov~ereXertIon. Il warm
spring day of peace aud pleasant plai1-
tude settles over the club; but suddenly,
like the east wind that arises and begins
to slam doors and blow dust around the
corners into your eyes. the Vigorous Meil-
bers awake to action and the club re-
mounts Its roller coasters of rumpus and
reform.
And the other members Rre:-The Timid
Members, whose rise to speak and wish
they hadn't. or those who DO not rise to
speak and wish they had; the Belticose
Members, who could work wonders IL
they mad some old Cy Prime TO back
them; the members who ouly come when
Jhere IS something TO eat, ana the menu
bers who only come to gossip in the dress
ing room, the member whose manner Is a
constant apology for living. and the
member who nails everyone to the wall
while she examines them; the member
who likes to whisper while u paper is be-
ing read, aud the member who wants the
city noises TO cease while she listens; the
Sociable Member. who is MS popular as
the penny post, and the Mean Member,
who talks about all the ether members
Boston Gazette.