The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-03-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Sweet meets-Irysts.
A grip.sack-Tho doctors sadd'
bags.
Lightning takers - Fire insurance
agents.
You can't trust the letter as" for it
is naturally crooked. IN. W
Breeze.
The dark ages are the ones that ell
derly 'pinsters refuse to divulge.-St.
Joseph News.
Pump Haudle--"How do you feell"
Vacuum Chamber - Exhausted. -
Yankee Blade. --
The book thai makes the greatest stir
in society is the well-lined pocket book.
Texas Siftings.
Most people laugh not when they want
to, but when they think people imagine
they ought to.-Atchison Globe
DeSmithers-"Do you object to col
ored walters at the clubl" Bjones-'I
object to green ones.-The Club.
The man who laughs in his sleeve
should be relegated to the society OF him
who talks through his hat.-Puck.
A mans goodness to his wife depends
entirely ON her ability to make him en-
JOY being good to her.-Atchison Globe.
1t is always proper to call upon the
superintendent of the streets to "mend
his ways. Boston Commercial Bulle-
tin.
No one can ever tell what a woman
will do next, If any one did tell she
would be sure to do something elsc.-
Somerville Journal.
The flush upon the cheek of the society
girl Is not hectic; it is permanent until
it is scraped off with the butcher knife.
Galveston News.
It's rumored as strong proof of na-
tures disposition to assert itself that few
girls learning the violin care to use the
chin rest.-Philadelphia Times.
Patient-''Doctor, fancy, somehow,
I've got touch of the gout." Doctor
"Fancy, my dear sir If you had, you
wouldn't fancy-you'd know. Comic.
Ethel-"Mr. Hobson and Mr.. Hub
bell will call this evening, Grace, you
know. What shall we do to entertain
them9" Grace-"Let's propose. "-Bos-
ton Post.
The barber is sort of belicose indi-
vidual. He has his little brushes right
along, he fathers people, and he oc-
casionally smashes their mugs. -Biug.
hamton Leader.
Miss Ongwee-'T think your charms
are simply horridn Jeweler-''Yours,
miss, are irresistible" Miss Ongwee-
"Pll take half a dozen, please. Jewel
ers Gazette.
"Carber is still in trouble. His lawyer
now makes serious charges against him."
81 thought he won his casel" $50 he
did and that's what his lawyer is charg-
ing him for. Lowell Citizen.
Charlie (who has been blowing the
cornet for an hour --"Ned, do you think
there is any music in met" Ned-"I
don't know. There ought to be. 1
didn't hear any come out. London
It'd Bits.
He-'T am rather in favor of the
English mode of spelling" She
''Ye-es" He-"Yes, indeed, Take
'parlor' for instance Having in it
makes all the difference in the world"
indianapolis Journal.
Brown-"Yes, he was brave man
one who could meet death without
blanching." Fogg-'I see. The gen
tleman was in the undertaking profess
sion, presume; or was he only doc
torl"-Boston Transcript.
Seeker-'You have been farming
many years in this section and know the
pecularity of the soil pretty well; what
do you consider the hardest thing to raise
on your farm2" Meeker-"The money
to run it. boston Courier.
"Ah," said Chappie jokingly to Miss
Keene, "this is leap yaer, don oherknow;
do you intend to avail yourself of its priv
ileges2" ~ really cannot tell what
might do, =" she said with a smile, "if a
man should come along. New York
Press.
Binks--'I don't like to complain
about tries, Mrs. Jingle, but my hash
appears to consist largely of fragments of
deal board" Mrs. Jingle (the landladO
--"Well, what kind of board do you
expect Tor five dollars Il week-polshed
yP'-Wasp.
She-"Did you succeed in mastering
French while in Frauceg' He-"Nearly.
did not succeed in making the French
men comprehend me, nor could l make
out what they were driving at; but got
so | could understand myself when
talked. ~" ks.
Lad' N-"Why did
cave fe2' Coo
20 9adful wa
Pquarrel,
y to