davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
HUMOROUS.

No Loss at Alt presume the
death of your husband was great
loss" ''Oh, no; he had just doubled
his life insurance. Yankee Blade.
There was a man vino rocked boat,
Where Is that man to-day?
Down at the bottom of the sea-
The others got away.
Detroit Free Press.
-"Who's the military man?' (which
one?" yellow with the straight
shoulders and fierce look Him?
He's no military man: he's broken a
suspender button!--Cbicago News.
Mrs. Brown-''I thought you said
it was the little boy next door who
was making all the noise.' Little
Johnnie-'So it was. ma. ! was beat
ing him with the stick. IN. Y. Sun.
--Goslin--"In the papah heah is an
account of fellow who killed his wife
and committed suicide, doncher know. ("
Sappy-"Which did he do fawst, aw?'
Goslin ''Thc rapah doesn't say.
Vewy stupid, Aw'm sure."-Boston
Life.
Longevity. should say longevity
did run in the family" said Mrs. Sprig-
gins. why, John was six foot two,
Bill was six foot four, and George, he
had more longevity than any man I
ever see. He was six foot seven, If he
was foot "-Lutheran.
--Seedy Party contemplating himself
in pocket mirror) Here am wear
ing the boots of bank manager, the
trousers of a landed proprietor, a baron's
coat and vest, and even counts hat,
and in spite of all that look like q
tramp. "-Fliegende Batter.
NO." said the housemaid, II don't
apologize to q man when / throw q
bucket of water down the front steps
to wash 'en. and he comes along and
gets drenched. I've tried apologizing,
but I've found there's nothing you can
say to man will satisfy Hmm. Y.
Post
"A Bad Sign--Mrs, Van Winkle-"Is
your husband any better?' Mrs. Won
Blumer-"I didn't know the man was
ILL., What do you mcan?' Mrs. Van
Winkle--ssWhy, he told my husband
that the other night, while you were
away, the boys had beaten him out of
his shirt --Clothier and Furnishcr.
"A report of French duel has the
following interesting conclusion: m.
Lelache having fired his shot, it was
now the turn OF NJ. Boboche to dis
charge his weapon. He waited calmly
for q moment, brought up his pistol,
awaited the word-and fred in the air.
This was not, however, SO great an act
Of magnanimity as might be supposed,
for his antagonist had climbed a tree. !"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
ST. LOUIS EN- FETE.
The Imposition Opened-Addi'
tional Attractions Announced.


ST.. LOUIS, Sept THE exposition
opened this evening in the presence OF
an enormous crowd, and its Ninth an
nual season was inaugurated in most
opportune and successful manner. 1t
will continue open until October 22d,
and four times daily Gilmore's magnif-
icent band of one hundred pieces will
give its concerts. The band is even
stronger than expected, and the pro-
gramme includes an immense number
of new and irresistible Attractive tunes
Special nights are reserved for Irish.
Scotch, German and American music,
while two days will be devoted to
quadro-centennial exercises. On Oc-
tober LIST the Travellers Protective as
sociation will take charge Of the build
ing and one of the largest parades Of
travelling men ever seen will take place.
The Examinations continue to prove q
glorious success and never-failing
source of entertainment to the crowds
which throng the streets every evening.
An illustration is given Of the mammoth
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

after awhile was able to make my way
back through the alders at the head
of the dark and narrow channel and
out into the open pool. My upturned
boat was lodged against the alders. |
pushed it to the deer opening. righted
it. and with long pole poled it back
to my starting place, and struck out
for home. My fish and tackle were
lost. Although the gashes and scratches
on my hands and arms were numerous.
they were not as serious as they
seemed, and in a week or so was able
to repeat my fishing trip, much to my
enjoyment. also spent an evening
with jack and rife at that deer
opening, and got fat and juicy buck
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
SPEED OF SHOOTING STARS.

Swarms of Them Flashing Through Space
at y Prodigious Rate.
The shooting stars are small bodies,
weighing at most q few pounds and
consisting mainly OF iron and carbon.
They traverse space in swarms and also
revolve around the sun in long, ellipti.
cal courses like the comets. When
these little bodies enter the earth's or
bit they are DETECTED toward the earth
and Public Opinion says great numbers
are seen in single night. Their bright
ness is due to the heat engendered by
the energy Of their motion. Their speed
is enormous-namely. forty-two and a
half klometers a second, while the
speed of the earth on it's orbit is only
twenty-five kilometers q second, for.
ward. Consequently when a shower Of
them approaches the earth in the direc-
ton opposite to Its course, the initial
speed is seventy-two kilometers a sec
ond; when they follow on its course
they gain sixteen and half kilometers
a second on it, their mean rate Of ap-
proach being thirty to forty lzilomcters q
second. The friction engenders temper
allure of three thousand degrees Celsius.
subject to which they burst into flame,
If under these conditions their sub
stance Is not vaporized they pass
through and beyond the upper strata Of
our atmosphere and pursue their proper
course around the sun, but as rule
they are vaporized, in which case the
vapor mingles with the atmosphere, to
fall later as meteoric dust. In this man.
ner we come in contact annually with
one hundred and forty-six milliards OF
shooting stars, which add considerably
to the earth's substance.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
Not an Upstart.

Public men, if they are to be success
full, must learn to stife personal preju.
dices. Prince Talleyrand, who shifted
his politics so skillfully that he served
under several distinct and contradictory
political systems in France, learned
this lesson very early
When NJ. Theirs, who was of humble
origin, began to rise in the world, Tai
leyrand treated him with great consid-
GRAFTON. This greatly displeased high
bred lady of the princes acquaintance.
''Whatr' she exclaimed; do you re.
ceive this upstart?"
Madame, Talleyrand answered, sshe
is not an upstart- He has got upr"--
Youths Companion.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

and a doe. 1 believe, also, that the
big wildcat tumbled from that hem.
lock branch just at dusk that same
evening was the mate of the wildcat ]
drowned in the alder tunnel. He was
lurking there. as his mate had been.
1 have no doubt, with the hopc Of
springing on fawn that might come
into the creek at that watering place. :"
Ed Mott, in N. Y. Sun.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

your casts, and don't hook wildcat,
for If you do you may be put to good
deal of annoyance, and as like as not
have your days fishing spoiled. That
is, If your wildcat should happen to
have disposition like the one had that
my friend Harry Cavanaugh hooked the
time he was fishing these dead waters.
He was in charge at the time of a gang
of men who were at work constructing
one of the tram roads that the big lum-
Der operators OF the hemlocl1 belt had
then just begun to build in the isolated
and mountainous forest tracts.
II had heard" says he, "a good deal
about the dead water Of Alder run, and
the big trout that had their home there,
which were likely to always have their
home there, because of the difficulties
that lay in the way of anyone who
sought to fish those waters The
dead waters extended for nearly mile
over level stretch of the streams bed,
and were nowhere less than four feet
deep. They were bordered on each
side by an almost impenetrable thicket
of alders, growing close to the edge,
and in some places, where the stream
was narrow, closing over it and hiding
it from view. There were many mar.
row openings in this thiclet where deer
sought the creek TO drink, and among
the alders many hemlocks and other
trees grew along the stream. In some
places the dead waters were fifty feet
wide, but the most of the stretch was
narrow.
I'm those days / enjoyed nothing so
much as trout fishing. had found ex-
cellent sport in the many wild streams
in that locality, but felt that / could
never go away from those woods en-
tirely satisfied without trying what the
dead waters of Alden run were capa-
BILE of, and us the season grew my de-
termination to get into those waters
grewwithit. Atlast had one Of my men
make me n small, rude, fiat-bottomed
boat out of hemlock boards, had it car
ried to the head of the dead waters, two
miles distant, and one humid, overcast
June day l started in the rather I'M
steady and not entirely water-tight
craft to fish through that virgin trout
ground. The capacity of the dead
waters was even greater than had an
ticipated. and before had fished one
quarter of the way through the dark
stretch of stream / had landed a score
or more of the biggest trout ! had ever
seen come from any brook-all of them
of dark color. with the crimson spots
almost as brilliant as sparks of FIRE.
my boat had drifted. aided by an
occasional movement of the paddle, in
to a part of the creek where the alder
borders were at least fifty feet apart
This big pool grew very narrow at its
lower end, and hundred feet from its
head. and there the thick alders inter-
locked their branches over and in the
water, and the creek disappeared from
view as completely as II it had been
swallowed mp by the earth. On the
right side of this broad extent of water
was one of the deer openings in the
Dhiekst, and the soft dirt at The top of
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
German
Syrup

Justice of the Peace, George VIII
kinson, of Lowville, Murray Co.,
Mimi, makes deposition concern
ing a severe cold. Listen to it. I'm
the Spring of 1888, through ex-
posture / contracted a very severe
cold that settled on my lungs. This
was accompanied by excessive night
sweats. One bottle of Boschee's
German Syrup broke up the cold,
night sweats, and all and left me
in good. healthy condition. I can
give German Syrup my most earnest
commendation." O
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

YES, Mars must be inhabited, else who
could have painted it redl-Boston Tran
script.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

WHEN small boy yells .'Cheese It," you
can take it for granted that something has q
curd aud he wants to get whey.-Philadel.
phia Record.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

IT doesn't commonly mangle thought
to .'run 1t over In the mind.''-Y onkers
Gazette.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

How little and dried up the cheese appears
to the rat after he is caught In the trapi-
N Y. Herald.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

WHETHER closed in time or not the doors
of too many get-rich-quick schemes appear
to be mainly trap doors. Philadelphia
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

"BE sure to come home to tea, auntie, I"
said Marie Were going to have some
thing perfectly malicious
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

You can never get people to walk right
until you first get them to look right
Rams Horn,
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

globe at the corner OF Broadway and
Olive street. No picture can convey an
adequate idea Of the extraordinary ma
ture Of this attraction The globe re-
wolves on it's axis, and is studied with
upward of 5000 electric lights and
globes, these marking out the outlines
of the continents and oceans with geo
graphical accuracy and a dazzling
splendor which must be seen to be ap-
preciated
All the railroads running to ST. Louis.
and their name is legion, are making
exceptionally low rates to the city, and
the opportunity to visit a great metro
politan center and to enjoy a mngnif-
cent carnival is one that it would be
foolish to ignore
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

FISH bite wfthoutregard to party Inca
Boston Transcript
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

people Are Killed by Coughs that Hale's
Honey of Horebound and Tar would cure
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

A BOY who was kept after school for bad
photography said he was spell bound.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

SAID the lecturer-"The roads up these
rcuntains are too steep and rocky for even
conkey to climb; therefore did not at
t;,,L tic ascent"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

ssWELL," said the baseball captain, ssour
cake is dough" 'How do you account for
it'll" 1--WE haven't good batter"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

UNEQUALED as an advertising medium
the woman who says: II thought Ia Jns
run over to tell you. n-Texas Siftings.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

MAMMA fseverelyl-"Johnny what made
you steal that cakea' Johnny-"My appe-
fiten
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

A CURE for nearly all the common Ills
what, doctorsa Pshawi Take Beecham's
Pills. For sale by all druggists. Is oentA
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
HI OW

you're not satisfied, they'll refund the
money? Why not do the same when
you buy medicine?
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
Is sold on that plan. It's the only blood
purifier so certain and effective that it
can be guaranteed to benefit or cure, In
every case, or you have your money
back.
It's not like the ordinary spring medi-
cines or sarsaparillas. All the year round,
it cleanses, builds up, and invigorates the
system. If you're bilious rundown, or
dyspeptic, or have any blood-taint, Moth
ing can equal it as q remedy.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

e. A. RooD, Toledo Ohio, says: "Hall's
Catarrh Cure cured my wife OF catarrh
Hfteen wears ago and she has had no return
Dfit. It's a sure cure" Sold by Druggists,
5oc.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

she {musicar-'Do you playr' He Zen
Enthusiastically = "Yes-third base ant
change pitch.''
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

81 CAN'T see," said Jimmie, sswhy fisl
have to be cleaned. They're in bathing al
the time"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

OxE Of the hardest things In the world !
for man who 10 stuck up to get down.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

The candy maker usually sticks to his
trade.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

AFAIR QUEsrIoN-s'Are you going to Chi
cago next summerf'
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05
Poor D,lapidated roddlsrs.

Young-old men, thin, nervous, peeyish,
should take Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
and strengthen their puny frames, freshen
up their iaded appeiites. tranquillize their
nerves We live too fast, that's
the fact, and impair vitality early: The
best tonic is the Bitters, which may be re-
lied upon to cure dyspepsia, liver and
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

IxrArlEScE is first cousin to anger.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-11-05

No Loss at Alt presume the
death of your husband was great
loss" ''Oh, no; he had just doubled
his life insurance. Yankee Blade.
There WIS man vino rocked boat
Where is that man to-dayY
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-04-22

Hotel is seriously damaged. the fresco
broken and the walls cracked. Nobody
was Injured in town. The chimneys on the
top of the courthouse were rendered unsafe
and have been taken down by the Sheriff.
The heavy steel ornaments at the top Of
dislodged from the pedestal and nearly
overturned. A portion of the Prevails of
Oapal Hotel, Fashion stable and the Porter
building fell. The Bank Of Woodland and
Wells, Fargo q Co.'s Express Office were
closed till afternoon.
Charles Johnson of Winters jumped from
the porch of the Craft Hotel to the street
dazed, but not injured. The walls of the
County Jail are badly cracked and prisoners
were much alarmed. The upper story of
the Thomas building was badly cracked.
and the City Prison has been rendered un-
safe. The Exchange and Craft hotels are
both badly damaged. On Main street the
two-story brick school building was
cracked. There WAS nc school at the time
on account OF holiday being declared.
Experts have examined the bulldog, and
reTort it unsafe. The Board of Education
will hold meeting tonight to take action.
Two large piate-gass windows In the Medal
bakery were broken. Ali the stores sus-
tanned some loss from the breakage Of
bottled goods, china and glassware.
The play Of damon and Pythias" at the
opera house tonight by Local talent was
postponed on account of the nervousness OF
the people. Many chimneys were twisted
and overturned. The general loss Is estimated
at $1,000. The widest excitement prevailed
at the time of tile shock, and many people
were greatly alarmed. Much anxiety is felt
for Madison, Capay and Winters, which are
reported utterly wrecked. The Office stove
the electric light buildings walls were
cracked
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-04-22
TO FIGHT SLAVE-RAIDERS.
The Force OF the Anti Party of
Belgium Begins Its Work.

The Force OF the Anti-Slavery Party Of
Belgium Begins Its Work.
New York San.
The London Times made curious blum
der the other day when 1t said that next
month an expedition organized by the Anti
Slavery Society Of Belgium would be
sent to Lake Tanganyika, under tho COM
mand of Captain Joubert and Lieutenant
Jacques. to suppress the slave trade. AS
matter Of fact Jacques arrived on
Lake Tanganyika in October last, and
Joined Joubert, who had reached the lake
some time before. The expedition TO which
the Times refers is supplemental party
which is going out to REINFORCE the ad-
vance expedition 1t is noteworthy move
meDt inaSmueh as il is the first time an ex-
petition has entered Africa for the ayOwed
purpose of putting an end to Slave-raiding
by force Of arms.
ganylka. established himself on the west
coast, where Joubert had preceded him.
lie learned that 5000 natives from tribes
that have been hunted almost to death by
Arab slave-chasers had taken refuge under
tine protecting Belgian flag. The great
raider OF that region is chief named Ru-
MALTA. He is the wealthiest and most
influential Arab at Jill, the principal town
on the big lake. Jacques did not arrive a
moment too soon, for that chief had organ
within II miles of CAPTAIN Joubert, whom
he fully expected to annihilate. The news
of Jacques. approach preceded him, and he
was met, when nearing the lake, by letter
from one of the priests at Karema, saying:
1.-The news of your arrival has fallen upon
the Arab chiefs with the stunning effect OF
an explosion Of gunpowder."
As soon as jacques joined Captain Joubert
on the west side of the lake the advancing
Arabs retreated. Before the arrival of the
little Belgian army the Arabs were devas-
tating hundreds of square miles and were
leading thousands of slaves 10 Ujiji and
their other chief ports. They had overruu
the country around the northern part of the
lake, and they were moving southwark
with the intention of ravaging all the south
ern tribes. They have been checked i'm their
murderous career, and the Anti-Slavery
Society OF Belgium has proved that its
method of dealing with slave-raiders is
effective.
large part of the munitions intended
for Jouhert and Jacques were sent by the
way OF Quilimane and Lake Nyassa, and at
last reports they had not reached the Bel
CLANS, who were very anxious lest they
should run short Of ammunition. The expe-
dition will carry out very large supply Of
guns and munitions. and the little force ex-
pect TO put an end to the raids which, for
two years past, have been infiicting indie
scribable suffering on the tribes around
Lake Tangunyika,
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-04-22
CONDENSED TELEGRAMs.

Three murderers were executed at Havana
yesterday.
j. b. Haggin denies that the Anaconda
Smelling Works OF Butte, Mont, have closed
down.
Twelve Italian miners were drowned by
the flooding of the Lyle colliery, near
Pottsville. Pa.
The Staten Island Dying Establishment,
near New York, has been burned. The
loss is 100000.
Governor FIJI er of New York has called
an extra session of the Legislature to meet
next Monday night
The National Bank Examiner has closed
the First National Bank OF Crofton. Mass.
1t has capital of 100000.
Citizens Of San Antonio Tex, have
formed Vigilance Committee 10 protect
that town from incendaries.
The stealingS of Jaeger. the defaultlng
cashier of the R0thschild's bank at Frank
fort. amounts to 1,2J0. 600 marks
In suit 70 break the will of the late A.
/. Stewart. Judge Rodger A. Pryor decided
yesterday in New YORK in favor OF the will.
John HartDup, astronomer at Mersey
Harhor Observatory, England, was killed
yesterday morning by failing from the OBJ
seTyatory.
Half the vineyards In the Bordeaux sec
tlon, including the Medoc, Slu,erne and
Barsac vineyards of France, have been de-
strOyed by the cold weather
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-04-22
A Young Agnostics

In one of our courts recently nine-year-
old boy was placed on the witneSs-stand,
but before he began TO testify the defend
ants counsel objected and would not allow
him TO give his evidence. asking the court
to pass on his intelligence and his idea of
the responsibility of an oath.
Question him on those points," was the
Judges reply.
How old are you?" began the lawyer.
Nine years DID,"
"Work or go to school?"
"Do both-sell papers and flowers"
"Do you know what an oath is ?'
'Tell the truth In this case, sure"
snow, If you should not state the truth
and tell lie, what would become of You in
the next world?"
swered:
Il don't know what will become of me in
this world, let alone the next"
Proceed. Mr.. Attorney" said the Judge !:
THE boy seems to have more than ordinary
intelligence"