River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-06-30
AN UNLUCKY SERENADE.
The Ill-Fortune That Attended My
Musical Efforts.

then did Aunt Matilda condeseend 10
receive me.
She did not greet me with mueii
warmth She kissed me and then re-
warded fat poodle which nestled in
her lap with the same attention.
you have grown very much like
your fool of a father"
Pardon me, auntie,' said /, assJunded
at this Introductory remark, you men
toned"
Your father, blockhead g she
snapped. whatever my poor sister
saw in such notch passes my compre-
hension Nothing but a ne'er-do-well,
good-for-nothing
Excuse me, aunt" / demonstrated;
but hadn't we better change the sub
iect? The weather is very sultry.'
She laughed outright.
Il am pleased to find you are not the
same easy -going fool he was. | suppose
you are right. We will let the poor
man rest" which remark was very
charitable. considering poor dad had
been at rest for eight years. Come, >
she continued, Il want to introduce
you to Louise, your future wife"
l stood open-mouthed with amaze
ment.
Don't stand staring there, You
BOBBY"
MY wife?" gasped.
YES; | suppose you may as well
know first as last. will leave you my
fortune-twenty thousand pounds in
consois-but only on condition that you
8 I 4 nd
Yes, aunt" / responded, feebly.
Following her was introduced 70 Lou
Use and at once fell in with my aunt's
proposals. She was lovely / don't
think it would have needed my aunt's
fortune as an incentive TO falling al
once in love with her. Dark, with
splendid hazel eyes, laughing mouth
and pure, transparent skin, she was IN.
deed picture of youth and beauty.
/ She received me graciously, and | could
see that my aunt was pleased with the
/ impression she had made. A few days
/ after Aunt Matilda preached my future
II don't want TO see you around the
house idly wasting your time, : she said
You must adopt some profession
/ Now to what do you incline?"
Protest was useless and my aunt haC
her own way. So shortly after passed
my examination and became a member
/ of her majesty's civil service. | haC
I my own quarters, which a decent allow
/ ance from my aunt enabled me to keel
up, and l occasionally visited her at the
snug little Hampstead village.
Thus | imagined myself handsomely
Ta1 nit ar
I amiable bride in prospective On the
strength of the former / obtained
/ plenty of credit. staid out late with
! Jovial companions. and should no doub;
( have gone to the dogs had | not been
/ hauled up shortly by the events l am
I about to relate.
Out of my first quarters allowance
from Aunt Matilda | lent a fellow
clerk, Jack Denton, five pounds, for
which he promised handsome interest
/ l waited patiently but in vain for its
return. At the end of two years-al-
/ though by that time / regarded it as a
bad debit ventured 20 remark that
should like to see the principal, and
would willingly waive all claim to the
+ interest.
My dear fellow" was his reply, 81
would pay You with all the pleasure in
the world, but unfortunately am com
/ pletely stumped."
saw no chance of its recovery, but
determined to press him little.
Couldn't you manage to pay so much
a month";
Vague improbability, old chap.
have mortgaged my next three-months
/ crew. Rut-a good ideal have a
[ French horn, a regular beauty, worth
I ten gaineas, and dirt cheap at that.
Vow, take it, like a good fellow, and
cancel the debt
But what on earth do ! want with a
French horn? It's of no use to me-"
Then create a use for it. Add tc
your many accomplishments that OF
musical amateur. You've a splendid
/ lip" he continued, artfully. Just the
/ cut for the instrument. Now, old chap
make me eternally grateful by accept
ing. A magnificent bargain, assure
/ you."
took the instrument, and from that
date my trouble began.
Up to this period the course of my
love had been perfectly smooth, when
who should turn up but a cousin of
| Louisa's, Tom Meldrum. He had been
out 10 Australia to try his fortune, but
after sojourn of five years in that
land of promise had returned with just
sufficient to pay his cab fare from the
dock to my aunt's, where he was loaf
ing till he found something better do.
/ was jealous of this Hercules. He
stood six feet in his stockings. When
ever paid a dutiful visit to the villa /
was bound to come upon the cousins in
some interesting position-poring over
sketch books or albums. Aunt was
confined to her bed and could noe watch
over my interests and So my rival had
the field to himself.
determined to warm up my tickle
loves waning affections, and with this
object I praeticed assiduously on the
French horn lovely German serenade
/ had purchased at cheap music stall.
taxed my patience TO the uttermost
and most people within a respectable
radius of sound. If / endeavored to
make a crescerde on a certain note l
invariably cracked it or split it into two
OF three.
But by laudable perseverance ] got
over these little difficulties so far as the
serenade was concerned and deter
mined on the first fine moonlight night
to give it a practical trial and see what
romantic effect would do in the cause
Of Cupid.
At length the suspicious night ar
rived and | set out for Hampstead. ar
irving there quite two hours before the
time | had arranged for the perform
ance-midnight. So adjourned to the
shelter of the nearest public and forth
fed myself with several stiff tumblers
Of whisky and water until closing time.
This ! knew would be bad for articula-
ton on the French accent, but l needed
bracing
Unfortunately for me. though / was
unaware of the fact, Aunt Matilda had
an unconquerable prejudice against
music in any shape or form. German
bands visiting the vicinity, as | after
ward learned, were always sure OF
rich harvest-to take themselves on
and Italian piano and organ grinders
from the purlieus of Saffron Hill anc
Seven Dials were amazed at the open
handed generosity which preceded