The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-12-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Parts Of speech-Hyphens.-Truth.
Goes through without changeh-The
shopper.-Puck.
The indispensable servant is master of
the situation. Judge.
Clothes may not make the man, but
suits make the lawyer. .-Emira Gazette.
Fame is bright robe; but it soon
wears out at the elbows. Rams Horn.
early to bed and early to rise"
Makes Of n man what most people despise.
Judge.
When one woman praises another,
folks think she is sarcastic. Rams
Horn.
WHAT'S done cannot be uudoue, especi-
ally if it is hard-boile1 egg.-Texas
Siftings.
Success shows off our good qualities;
lack of success shows oil our defects
Texas Siftings.
A man has to be pulfed up we'll be-
fore he can blow his own horn with
proper vigor. Puck.
The sign-painter may make a dollar
while the steeple-painter is making
ascent.-Boston Courier.
If you want to get ahead in the world,
don't lie abed in the morning thinking
about it.-Atchison Globe.
A great many gentlemen OF the old
school" do not seem quite to have fn-
ishel their ducation.-Puci1.
1t is noticeable that little man is
always very mild in his testimony against
big man in court.-Atchison Glob.
It's a queer thing, but the course OF
true love runs all the smoother the more
it is studded with rocks.-Southron.
Had Her There: Mistress -"You're
the biggest fool l ever knew" Maid
"You forget yourself, ma'am. Judge.
Every man who gets whipped for a
sin complains that other people have
, done more aud been whipped less
Atchison Globe.
"I think Charles the First was crazy"
said Professor Bungleton. "He certainly
lost his head" observed Professor Sin.
gleberry.
It does not follow that all women arc
purseproud simply because they invari-
ably carry their pocket-books in their
hands.-Boston Transcript.
Notwithstanding the precautions taken
by attendants at a circus tent to swell
the treasury, the rain will sometimes
beat its way in.-Statesman.
North Side Mother-"Oscar, why
can't you be a good boy2" Hayward
Four Year Old-"Mamma, it makes me
so tired m-Chicago Tribune.
"That is Miss Sharp singing. Her
father IS having her voice cultivated"
"You can easily tell that "How2"
ats narrowing. Cape Cod Item.
A London woman advocates the use of
dynamite in securing "women's rights"
This is carrying q disposition to blow
the men up to an extreme.-Washington
Star.
Mamma, Geordies swallowed
u quarter an he's cholliu'l" "Oh, my
child, why did you do it9 Now /
havea't enough for car fare. Chicago
News.
Priscilla-"But don't you think it's
a girls duty to ask the consent of her
parentsl" Prunclia-"Oh, yes; unless
she thinks they won't grant it."-New
York Herald.
Lightning never strike twice IN the
same place. they say. "No2' "No."
"Well, how DO you account for it?"
"Must be manipulated by a woman,
suppose. Chicago Tribune.
"Smlggins appears to grow more
stupid every day" ayes. Somebody
told him that a little knowledge is a
dangerous thing, and he is trying to
forget all he knows. ."-Washington Star.
When the city man on a farm begins
to talk at the breakfast table about
"speckled beauties" he wants to make it
plain ut the very start that he doesn't
mean the horny-handed farmers daugh-
tiers. -Someryille Journal.
"Now, wife, you have again given inc
too much tea. asked you for a cup
half full. Don't you know what half
full isl" "Well, John, l ought to. You
have endeavored to illustrate many times
what it means. buffalo Enquirer
"What a sight you areln "Just as l
was leaving the house to come TO the
club my wife pelted me with towers.n
"But that doesn't account for your
bruisedand battered appearance. ''You
see, she forgot to take them out Of the
pots. "-Fliegende Blaetter.