The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1892-03-19
MUST THINK QUICK,
Instances in Which Lawyers Have to be
Quick Witted.

lawyer once saved a guilty client from
sure conviction on a charge of poison
ing. 1t was proved that the ,oisoG..s
had been done by means of certain
cakes, portion of which was produced
IN court. When the counsel for the
prisoner had finished his speech he
said:
And these, gentlemen of the Jury,
are some of the alleged poisoned cakes.
We declare to you, gentlemen of the
jury, that these are not poisoned cakes.
They are as harmless cakes as ever
were made, and in order, gentlemen of
the jury, to show you that these cakes
are not poisoned, will eat one OF
them right here in your presence.
And he did eat one. He took good
care, however, to leave the room at
the earliest opportunity and to make a
bee line for an adjoining room, where
he had an emetc in readiness and an
anhdote. But the jury nevsr heard
about the emetic or the an1dote until
the lawyers client had been acquitted.
On another occasion a wit .ess had
been detailing with great minuteness
certain conversations which had occur
ed several years before. Aglin and
again the witness testified to names
and dates, and precise words, and it
became necessary for his cross exam
iner to break him up. This was 'one
by simple device. While the witness
was ghbly rafting off his testimony the
cross examiner handed him law book
and said
Read aloud paragraph from that
book.
What for7 inquired the witness.
will tell you after you have read it,
said the lawyer, and the witness accord
lngIy read aloud a paragraph of most
uninteresting matter about lands,
appurtenances, and hereditaments.
Then the lawyer went on and asked
him few more questions about his
memory, and the witness was positive
that his memory was very good. Sud
denly the lawyer said:
BY the way, will you please repeat
that paragraph you just read about
lands, appurtenances, and heredita-
mentsp
Why, OF course | could not do that,
replied the witness.
You must have a queer memory,
retorted the lawyer, since you can re
peat thilgs that you say occurred years
ago, and you cannot repeat what you
read moment ago.
The witness was nonplussed, and
the jury was obviously amused at his
discontinue.
A quick witted lawyer thinks on full
gallop. Many successful cross eXaml.
ners have been men who could keep
up a running fire of jokes and COM
ments and never lose sight Of the main
point, who could lead witness along
by suavIty and polileness and acquies-
cence and apparent ob5eqlious defer
ence into pitfalls of contradiction. Such
men will let a smart witness talk on
until he uses some unfortunate eX
preston that subjects him to being
pounced upon and demolished at one
fell swoop.
\ leading counsel for the defendant
IN an accident damage case, where the
injury had been occasioned by jet Of
steam scalding the comp!ainant'S back
and neck as he was driving past the
defendants place, argued to the jury
that the plaintiff was guilty OF con-
tributory negligence and should have
looked up to avoid the accident. The
quick -witted counsel for the complain
ant retorted: Oh, no if he had look
ed up, instead of suing for damage to
the back of our head we should have
had to charge you for the loss Of both
eyes.
In trial for murder, where the Kill
ing was done by shooting, the counsel
for defendant made good deal Of fuss
and INTRODUCED quantity of medical
testimony to show that the wounded
man had been unskillfully treated. At
the close of a confusing cross exam
nation by defendants counsel on the
length of the probe used to find the
ball, the direction OF the wound, and
the danger OF probing, the District
Attorney put the question very tersely
by asking: Doctor, was IL the prob
ing or the shooting that caused DEATH
In the trial for burglary the peoples
witness showed that he was on watch
in the hall, when he heard some one
fumbling with the lock of the door,
and that he then slyly turned the knob
so that the thief could come in easily.
The glib tongued lawyer for the prison
er at once said: Why, your Honor,
this witness was the real burglar, for ii
was he and not my client that really
opened the door. The result of this
timely remark was that the prisoner
got off with a light sentence for an
attempt at burglary.
A good deal f quick work Is often
required of law RS in the filling OF
liens Oh real est lie or other property,
in cases where the obligations are many
and the assets few, and the first conner
is the only one who gets served. A
good deal of Wit is often displayed in
the method OF making a levy. Ben,
iamin :, Rualer. when he was Ynnng