Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1892-10-05
OLD TIME WIT.
Some of the Irish Bulls Told of by u
Grandfathers.

Some of the Irish Bulls Told of bY sur
Grandfathers.
Our grandfathers used to laugh over
the wit of Paddy quite as much as we
do to-day. and / am not at all sure that
in the olden time Paddy was not mach
brighter than his defendants are now.
In looking over an old volume of curi-
GUS anecdotes, published quite severity
years ago, which has been laying upon
my shelf for many day, find TINT
our ancestors had deal of fun pro-
vided for them at Paddy's expense, and
of very rare quality, too.
One of these stories is told of tho
Irish servant of naval commander,
who had the misfortune one day to let
a teal1ettle fall overheard. In fear and
trembling he rushed to his maste~, and
cried out to him,
'Plaze, yer honor, can anything bo
said to be losht whin We know where
it is?''
Certainly not" replied the officer.
''Why?"
why, thin, yer honor, We may tinll
the tayl1ettle is losht, but it amt, soIr.
It's at the botthom of the ocean. so. i"
1t would certainly be difficult to Gnd
fault with one who made such be:,uti-
full bull as that just because he had lost
so insignificant an article as a tea
kettle.
Another anecdote teaches in mirthfuI
guise a lesson our boys and girls cam
not afford to leave unlearned, which is,
! that true politeness always pays. The
/ story states that an IRISH officer in the
midst of hot battle happening to
| indulge in the courtesy of L bow
! TO some one on the field, cannon ball
| passed directly over his head and took
| off that of the soldier Immediately be-
| hind him. The bow alone saved his
| life, which he had the wit to So -
| parentlv, for turning to n soldi-1 ~
him, he observed: You see, nv IA.
fellow never loses anything by *
ness"
An Irish judge who was much AN
noyed by loud conversation III the cC ro.
room cried out:
"Silencel Keep silence in the ca'ut.
Here have decided a dozen c8ee. 'itis
morning without hearing what ..>. oi
'em was about"
In Gen. Moore's command VS. an
Irish soldier who, having been n, ! II
the Hollanders were a hospital, ,.o
pie, Immediately replied: "Th:y :. c
that. Too much so. Oh was III ~
hoshpital all the tonne Oh was there
This criticism is quite on par with
that of the Englishman who objected
to the French because he said the
stupid idiots couldn't understand their
own language when he spoke it tc
them.
Another good story in the collection
over which we can imagine our grand
fathers laughing heartily is of an Irisl
gentleman who was visited one day b,
a friend who found him very unucl
vexed.
''What is the matterP" asked the Wis
itor. "You seem much disturbed"
81 am" he answered. eve just los
new pair of black silk stocking gu
of my room that cost me eighteei
shillings."
Have you searched everywhere
asked the friend.
Yes" he said, everywhere; and no
finding them have sent for the town
crier, who will cry them and ofer
half-crown reward
The friend expressed his 80, 'te
that the owner should offer so eia o.
reward for the recovery of stOca.. Z
silk, and of such value
That's all right" he replie'., "a
confidential tone. ''Nobody'Il know
: I ordered the crier to say they wer
/. worsted."
! 1t is to be hoped he got them. --EaI
; per's Young People.