The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-05-15

zle. She repeated it to him and retired
much earlier than was her wont. And
Isham g. laughed aloud and declared that
woman had no head anyhow, and sat him
down 80 work out the puzzle in fourteen
minutes.
When Mrs Hicks awoke in the gray Of
the morning her husband was not by her
side. As she stepped quietly to the sitting
room door she heard him say in dreary
monotone:
Lyman s. Observation-Disclosures his
fathers stcpmOther -whO-is also his faith
-daugh-
acknowledgements my headaches"
The leaves OF huge scratch tablet lay
about him Ike a drift Of snow all covered
with figures and diagrams, and before
him was a sheet setting forth fourteen
Dsapositions Of which the following IS a
fair sample
'The older man is the father-in-law of
his mOther-in-law and the husband OF his
grandson's half sister. who is also the
child's step-grandmother."
Wisps of auburn hair lay about on the
table
Hicks remained in bed all that forenoon
WIFI ice Oh IlH bIbW thA ii"'N~'
sentences like these
"His wife is his baby's half brothers
half nephew's mothers son-in-aw-ho'
that isn't it, His sons wife Is ms own
mother-n-law and mother OF hlS grand
sons half Mster-umi um. His fnother-in-
law is-oh, dear me"
In the afternoon he went down TO the
lumber ward and told the puzzle to the
men there assembled, aud they all laughed
him TO scorn and then figured on the
smooth side OF thrty-six square feet OF
lumber and bad three fights without get
TING rs far rs Hicks had gone in the still
watches of the night A husbandman who
ayifted in 20 trade horses became involved
and beat his steed all the way home.
The puzzle permeated every nook and
corner OF the village Two popular mem
beers of the Y. NJ. c. A. slapped each
others faces overit Colonel Hooks pulled
the nose Of q tourist to whom he was try
ing to sell land and all the boys in town
fought over il.
one John Z. Smith attacked the wife OF
his bosom with ferocity and scythe and
knocked her into the well, where she
speedily drowned mob chased Mr.. Smith
thirteen geographic miles and gave him i've
Minutes in which 10 show cause why he
should not be lynched, whereupon be de
clared that the demise OF Mrs Smith was
attributable TO divine providence and
stone over which she had stumbled, the
same throwing her into the well. His sole
intention had been to bestOw upon her a
well merited castigation for introducing
the relationship puzzle into the household,
thereby assassinating the peace and har-
mony OF the same.
This announcement resulted in a pro
lonRed and earnest debate upon the part
of the string band, which continued until
the sheriff and posse rescued Mr. Smith
and bore him TO town. Court was in ses-
sion at the time and the case came up for
trial on the morrow IL was dark when
the jury was sent out. They canvassed
the case thoroughly. Hicks, who was
among them detailed the puzzle and ex-
hibited his tally sheet.
At4 O'Clock in the morning the door was
burst open and the jury fell down the
stairs fighting like demons. The stove had
been overset and the building was soon in
flames. The hook and ladder company
swirled ND and ran over three gentlemen,
two Of whom Immediately assaulted two
frcmen. whereupOn the whole body of the
latter attacked the entire jury impartially.
The alarm Of fire aroused the village and
the majority OF the citizens appeared on
the scene. Judge BeRad denounced the
firemen for rioting in the face OF the de
stroyer and was attacked by the foreman
of the company. Several citizens went 20
the assistance Of the Judge. and three men
whom he had fined jumped in 10 help the
foreman.
And thus the fight wsxed. The fire was
forgotten The rival editors wrangled and
then fought and their printers took sides.
The members Of the various lodges could
not stand by and see their brethren mauled,
and they, too, rushed into the fray. The
Rev. Mr.. Marks mounted a hitchrack and
cried peace, and a man whom he bad mar
ried to a harTidan week before smOte him
with an Ak heiye, and Deacon Cronk ran TO
the minister's assistance In three minutes
nearly every churchman in town was in
the fracas The rival undertakers fought.
Every man who had a grudge against any
other man tried 10 get satisfaction then
and there. and all the debtors attacked
their creditors.
4 gale had sprung up, and before the fire
had been got under control the major por
ton Of the business part OF the village was
in ashes This threw many men out Of
employment and they moved away soon
after Others, seeing that there would be
no boom for many moons, departed. Sew
eral capitalists who had been about 20
make investments Immediately folded
there tents. The grand jury found true
bills against many OF the participants in
the great fight, and they all fled like the
wind Nobody would buy property and
the real estate agents left.
The number OF the voters was so reduced
that a rival town secured the county seat,
and with ii went everybody who could get
away. The newspapers both went. Many
of the buildings were loaded on trucks and
hauled of ~ the new county seat. And
finally cyclone razed all Of the remaining
buildings and put an end to the village for
good and all.
And all this was the work Of the rela-
tionship puzzle. Behold how great tiame
little spark kindieth.-New York World.
Malcolm W. Ford 30 Marry.
Malcoln, w Ford the famous athlete