The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-04-15
sUNPLowER sILHoUErrEs.
Fort Scott was fifty years old saturda

Fort Scott was fifty years old Saturday.
Copeland county will send unin-
structed delegates.
Farmer Smith stands six feet two.
Major Morrill, is six feet two, too.
This is going to be prosperous year for
the Kansas farmers Big crops and lots
OF dollars.
Farmer Smith has capacity of about
twelve cigars day moro than any other
candidate in the field.
A Topeka type-setter who set register,
todayl' every day for month, forgot to
resister and couldn't vote.
Bernard Kelly is said to be somewhat
better. though he improves but slowly,
and his recovery is yet doubtful.
1t appears that the practical test Of
states manship in Kansas is contained in
the art of selecting winning contests to
participate in.
Store this away in your memory. Poll
ticians say that there will be some big
surprises for everybody at the state con-
yention at Topeka.
Ben Simpson says when a town has one
Republican paper, that paper is strong;
when town has two Republican papers
neither is worth cent.
Jerry Simpson is against United States
navy. A navy suggests warfare and by q
three weeks service in 1864 in the rear,
Jerry got all he wanted OF war.
From all appearances the fight for the
Alliance nomination for governor seems
h.. D., 10 not Z he,
kind of state to be swept with scrub
broom.
Baby Mckee wanted billy-goat, and
got it. He then named it Senator PETER. :"
Kansas trembles Cor fear Baby Mckea
will take fancy TO some broncho and go TO
casting about among the congressman for
a nickname.
Congressman Clover has received the
following note from y constituent: Dear
Ben-Send another Congressional Record.
We've got another baby at our house, and
he'll have to be propped up to the table. Z"
The Methodist general conference will
meet in Omaha next month aud it is eX
pected that three additional bishops will
be appointed. Detroit, Mich, will petit
ton for one of them and the Free Press
thinks that Bishop Ninde, now located at
Topeka, will be transferred there. 1t says
he is anxious to make his home there.
Judge Foster, after an absence from the
bench of nearly two years, instructed the
grand jury in the federal court at Topeka
Tuesday morning He is by no means
well, and does not expect to preside in
court during the coming term, but will
assist Judge Riner if the weather will
permit of his going from his residence to
the court room.
Kansas people are fighters. A year ago
most of the eulogies on President Harri-
son were from editorial pens with post
Office attachments. Since that time, the
Italy. Chill and England, and today the
honored name of James g. Blaine will not
be met with greater cheers than that Of
Benjamin Harrison.
A Wichita women has been reading the
diplomatic correspondence of the modus
vivendi in the Boring sea matter and try
ing to fatbom what il was all about. But
in vain. Yesterday she said to her hus-
band:
''John, is that Boring sea trouble
settled?"
eyes, think it is" he answered.
"Well, did Queen Victoria get it after
all?"
Get WHAT"
"Why seal skin sacque; wasn't that
what it was about?"
A man brought his horse into a small
Sumner county town last week and took
him to the blacksmith shop to be shod. He
proposed 10 the blacksmith that he would
give him l cent for the first nail be
drove and double the amount for every
succeeding nail. This is an old gag, but
this artisan had not heard of it and re-
fused to do anything of the sort, saying be
did not do business that way. There are
thirty-two nails in an all-around shooting,
and to the establishment ofthe blacksmith.
the man with the horse proved that his
first proposition would have aggregated
$31 ,217, 4l8A.
A Wichita politician came home the
other day and his wife asked him if he
had bought the spool of thread she had
asked him to get.
"There it is again" he said, 81 am al
ways forgetting. l have an awful poor
memory"
"Oh no, you haven't" snapped his wife,
your memory is all right
Now don't talk that way, DEAR" said
the politician, 'you know my memory has
always been poor"
'John," said his wife shortly, when is
the Republican state convention to be
heIdsn
"Wby-why-at Topeka June 80"
"Yes. and when is the Prohibition con-
vention?"
''That's at Ottawa, July 10"
eyes, and when is the Democratic state
conventions"
"Um-ah- Salina, April 90"
when is the First district Republican
convention?"
Great Cesar, dearest. Why at Seneca,
June 22''
"And the Third district convention"
AT Pittsburg, June %. "
"John, your memory is perfect wreck"
exclaimed his wife, but John had slipped
on his hat and was already on his way
back to town after that spool of thread.
-
1t is now limited that the reason so
many Democratic congressman voted
against free coinage was because they
were afraid it would depreciate the value
of their sill -tongued orators before the