Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1892-01-18


X there is one thing more than another
calculated TO throw man into q gnashing
of the teeth and tearing of the hair con-
dition il is his attempt to give the wife
of his bosom an account OF some ordi.
nary affairs, to which she listens after
this fashion,:
He-Oh. my dear. must tell you soma
thing Jack Burroughs told me to-day
while
she-where did you see Jack Bur.
roughsf
"oh, we went to luncheon together,
and"
-How did you happen TO get out to
luncheon together2"
~Well, we didn't exactly go out to-
gether; met Jack on the restaurant
steps, and"
%What restaurants
"Calloway's; and Jack"
slow did you happen to 60 TO Gallo.
way'si Thought you always lanched
at Draper's.
II nearly always do; but I Just hap
pened to drop into Calloway's to-day,
along with Jack and"
"Does he always lunch at Calloway's2"
sim sure, my dear "a little sharply.
shat don't knew If he does or not. 1t
makes no earthly difference if"
"oh, of course not QHastily.) Il just
wondered If he did; that's all. Go on
with your story"
well, while we were eating our soup.
Jack"
"What kind of soupf"
"Turtle. Jack said that"
IL thought you disliked turtle soup"
"Well, l don't care much about it.;
but
"How did you happen to order it If
you didn't care for it?"
because l did. Severely But tho
soup has nothing to do with the story
"Oh, of course not. On a grieved tone
don't see why you should get cross over
simple question. Go on.
"Well, while we were eating our soup.
Lawrence Hildreth and his new wife
came in, and"
"They did?"
Il have just said so"
swell, you needn't beso cross abontit
"They came in. and"
as she pretty?"
Pretty enough. Jack bowed"
"Does he know them2"
"Well, now, do you suppose he would
have bowed if he hadn't known theml
declare il L"
"How was she dressed2"
"How should / know1 never looked
at her dress. What was going to tell
you was that"
did they sit near your"
"Yes; at the next table. And while
they were ordering. Jack said that
they"
Couldn't they hear him1"
ado you suppose liercelyl that Jack
would have no more sense than 10 let
them hear him talking about them? I'll
swear if"
"James. if you can't tell a simple lit
tie incident without getting into pas.
sion you'd better keep it to yourself
What did Jack sav?"
~He said that Miss Hildreth's father
was opposed to the match and
How did he know thatg"
~Great Caesar There YOU 20 again o.
james. win you please remember
that it is your wife 20 whom you arc
speaking. sirgT
NO other woman would drive me raw.
ing, distracted, crazy, asking silly ques.
tons about"
James 2"
Every time try TO tell you anything
you begin, and you"
~James (rising with dignity and say.
ing stifIly). do not propose listening to
any such insulting remarks. and"
you never listen to any thing That's
the trouble. IT,"
"When | ask a simple question you"
"I'd say simple You've asked me a
million simple questions in the last half
hour, just because | was going to tell
you that Jack Burroughs said that"
II do not wish to hear what Mr Jack
Burroughs says if you can not tell it re.
spectfully. shall have my dinner sent
70 my room since il is SO painful for you
to eat with an idiotl" Retires scorn.
fully, while he narrowly escapes an at.
tack of apoplexy .)-Smiths Monthly.