The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-09-14
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Brightest idea of the century The
electric light.-Dallas News.
The man with a pocketful of rocks
can afford to throw stones. Boston
Transcript.
The shoemaker is man who fre.
quently gets "beaten out of his boots"
Statesman.
In baseball it does not follow that the
heaviest nine will gravitate to the bot
tom.-Boston Transcript.
It's only in the order of events that
when his best girl shakes fellow he's
rattled.-Philadelphia Times.
His Chance: Edith-"How cheap 1
feelW Young Scapely-"Edith, will
you be mine2"-Kate Fields Washing
ton.
Counting the chickens before they are
hatched is the highest way of showing
confidence in the reliability of the hen.
Baltimore American.
A man always knows what he would
have done in another fellows place, but
the other fellow doesn't always believe
it.-Louisville Courier-J Journal.
'Give me the treasury, plelse," he cried,
10 maid with a dark brown curl;
III do IL with pleasure, sir, she replied,
For she was telephone girl.
Washington Star.
A young woman who went out sailing
at Atlantic City the other day described
the bow and stern of the yacht as "the
point and the blunt. ."-PhiIadelp Rec
ord.
Edison has patented 600 inventions,
but he has to slap at the summer fly Just
rs vainly rs anybody else. Genius can
not do everything. Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Gushing Girl-"Now, don't you put
my name in your paper; don't you dare"
Experienced Reporter-"Very we'll.
How did you say you spell your nameG"
Washington Star.
"Jack wilkins broke his bicycle yes
terday." "Lucky fellow" replied
Willie Washington. "'Mine is a wild as
it was the first day twied to wide it,"
Washington Post.
Things one would rather have ex-
pressed otherwise. (Lady Festus at
home, 2 A. NJ Hostess-"Only Just
come, Sir George1 How good of you to
come so late!"-Punch.
"You cant claim, " said the man who
doesn't care for the rod and line, "that
fishing affords exercise" ooh, YES it
does, " was the reply; "for the imagina-
tion. Washington Star.
"The style of writing that you do
must be very hard work" Herbert
''Well, 1t Isl but what made you think
fiti" Gladys-"Why, it makes me
tired to read it.'-Chicago Iuter-Oce
"Ah, Hardup! hear your uncle is
dead. Rather an eccentric man. Was
be alto ether right in his head2" "Well
Ill couldn't say, you know, till
.he will is read. boston Commercial
Miss Thin-''Don't you think my new
iress is just eXquisitei They all say So"
lovely! l think that
lressmaker Of yours could make
look quite graceful. -
Brooklyn Eagle.
AlollA - Nlaudllli won you please
lelp poor sick manp Woman of
Iouse-"Why, you don't look sick"
.ramp-"Ies l be, too, madam"
Woman Of House-"What are you sick
III" Tramp-"Wor6."
A poor old topper, who was in the habit
f getting lost on his way home, was
sked how he could afford to keep the
og that was always with him. "That
log, Fl" he said, 'not only boards himself
nut finds me. boston Post.
Riyers-'I hear Cholly Lightpate is
ot going to Europe, after all. Has he
hanged his mlndp Banks - ellis
lindt' Great Ncottl His miudl n
le simply isn't going on account
'tal lack Of change. Chicago
une.
Young Author-"What did you
my new noyell' Cynical Uu
On, it is all well enough, l SUPP
ut for general use l am incline,
link some other opiate would
leaper and easier to take. "-Somery'
1uTnal.