Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-11-09
MR.. AND MRS. RoWsER.
The Head of the Family Tries His Tale
on Trunk.

Ahe mead OF the Family Tries His Talents
on Trunk.
From the Chicago State Journal
81 have my trunk all packed and wish you'd
lock and strap it, said Mrs Bowser, who vas
ready for journey, to her liege lord the other
evening. II suppose ought to have called in
a man this afternoon TO do it, but it slipped my
mind entirely"
Called in mani echoed Mr. Bowser 'If
it's go. SO that can't buckle strap and turn
key Id better hang up for a sign somewhere"
Il know, dear, but last time You know wha.
trouble you had and how mad you go. be-
force
Never had the leas. bit of trouble and never
got mad If all husbands we're az even tenn
pered and good natured as nm wives would
have mighty little 10 complain of in this world.
suppose l might well bring it down, too,
while m about it. If don't do il the ex-
pressman will bang the house all TO pieces"
Mr. Bowser trotted up stairs whistling 1.-The
Cid Oaken Bucket" and had been gone about
a minute when be called over the baluster.
Mrs. Bowser, il you intend to take all the
bureaus, bedsteads, mattresses and springs
you,v forgotten some Of themP'
what do You mean2"
Just like woman. You've gone and packed
and iammed and filed in till no forty men
could lock this trunk
Why, dear, the trunk isn't hardly half full
l am only going to stay a week YOU know and
so / took only what might need for the few
days"
The cover wouldn't shnt within four inches
Mr.. Bowser had discovered that fact before he
called out. He didn't want to make anv mis-
take. He hauled the trunk into the middle Of
the room and walked around It. Then he
seized one handle and hefted it.
The critter weighs 20, 900 pounds il il weighs
an ounce" he muttered he let il down. 1t
can't bluff me, though. I'll get it down il the
roof comes with me! My weight ought to bring
hat cover down"
GETTING THE TRUNK DOWN.
He sat down on The cover and bobbed up and
down. I. was almost go, bat not quite Then
he got on his hands and knees and bobbed and
sagged, and the hasp sliding into the slot
when Mr. Bowser gave an extra bob and lost his
hold.
"Mr. Bowser, what on earth are you irving
to do?' shouted Mrs. Bowser from the foot of
the stairs aaPthe gas fixtures ceased shaking and
the walls finally quit trembling.
''Who's locking this Internal old trunk?" be
tercely demanded as he gathered himself up
She made no answer, and BY a carefully Sc
iected flank movement, aided by his 220 pounds
Of avoirdupois, he iammed the hasp in place
with such sudden vigor that the shingles on the
roof lifted up and fell back again. The kew
was in the lock, but it refused to turn. He
tried it half dozen times, but it was 10 CO.
and he had just hauled off to kick the whole
west side of the outfit in when Mrs. Bowser APP
peared to inquire:
"Ah. you have got the cover down, but have
at can't be locked. You've probably got
the key Of the barn door in the lock. See
that?"
But you are turning the key the wrong way,
Mr.. Bowser"
81 am, am l? If I've lived to be forty-three
years old and don't know how TO turn a trunk
key want to be hit on the head with a tan
merry! l say it won't lock-
She turned the KEY and locked it with a click.
He was about to take his solemn oath that it
wasn't locked when she got down leather
strap and said:
Here, let me show you how to strap trunk.
Lift up that end"
who's bossiug this job?'' he asked in a
hoarse whisper. II came up here to break my
shins, pull my lungs out and completely wreck
my burned old anatomy on this internal trunk
and don want any of your help"
When she had gone he got the strap under
the trunk. Then he calmly put one end through
the buckle, braced both knees against the trunk
and sagged back. He meant to cut the trunk
right in two, but his hands slipped and the
back OF his head hit one OF the posts Of the bed
before it did the carpet He was seeing stars
and pin wheels and sky rockets by the million
when Mrs. Bowser called:
"Do you know you are knocking all the
plaster off the parlor ceilingl II you can't
strap. that trunk III come up and do it my
selft'
strap! strap! ne muttered as the sky
rockets ceased shooting and he sat up. "Why
IN ~ strap the burned thin8 up so night that 1t
WIZ take yoke OF oxen 70 loosen 1t. Gimme
noIa Oh tnat eha ag IN;
ne got IL and pulled TILL his tongue ran out
and MS eyes grew as large as dollars. and when
.he tongue OF the buckle found hole he bad
gained an inch over the old one be fondly
nsurea lna' ne mao ntted one side OF the house