davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Tho Height of, Torture.

Miss GLOW torturing the thought
must be for great singer to know that
she has lost her voice.
Mr.. PITS much more torturing
when she doesn't know it-Life.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Every Inch n Duchess

First Duke-Why don't you travel in
cognito, as do? It's far pleasanter.
Second Dulse-Ycs, but my wife al
ways goes with me, and married an
American.-Life.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Isaac ,vore Ixid Gloves.

Kid gloves were mentioned IN tho
Bible. In the sixteenth verse of tho
twenty-seventh chapter of Genesis
lsaac's wife is accused of putting on the
hands of her son Jacob the skins of the
kids OF the goats"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
a Digcoyery.

1--we noticed one thing in regard to
Children" said Mr.. Shallow. SIN all
the families with which 1 have &C..
quaintancc the first son is invariably
boy."-Jury.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
In tho Wrong Place.

Miss Lilywhite Snowflake (from the
colorcd quarterly wantcr little pow
der for de complexion.
Druggist-For yourself?
Miss l.. Snowflake-Yessah.
Oruggist-Go to gun-storc.-Judge.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
The Poet Muses..

o pipeI Sweet, gentle pipcI
In thee trust
ia rather smoke good cigar,
But, then-I'm bust)
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Hard Lines.

Policeman-You come right along
with me.
Inebriatc-Tal1e some other fellow.
Don't take me. I'm an unlucly cuss.
Every time promenade with n police
man l get locked up.-TeXas Siftinrs.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Actually Insulting.

Conductor Ohastily)- old is that
child?
Young Mother (indignantly)-Do I
look old enough to have a child old
enough to pay fare?-N. Y. Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Why Is It?

If death loves shining mark, why
is 1T we see SO many baldheaded
men in the front row at the theater?-
N. Y. Herald.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12

GENERAL TRUsTEE-HoN. HENRY s.
TROUT. President First National
Bank, Roanoke, Va.
Trust, Loan and Safe Deposit Company.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
On a Two-Cent stamn.

Tcacher-What can you say of George
Washington?
Boyle whipped George the Third,
only to be licked by his own country
mcn.-Truth
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Two Red Ears.

She got red ear and ! kissed the lass,
For thought twas the thing to do,
But her lover was there and 1t came to pass
That got red car, too.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
wav Dawn.

elias Mantalius very deep voice2"
very. Why, when that man sings II
6urts his corns. Jury.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Safe Thing to DO.

Pedestrian-What made you give the
road to that road-hog? Don't you see
les drunk?
Cyclist-Yes, my boy, always turn
out for n man with a lOnd.-Rcfcrcc.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
Geographical Item.

Teacher-Do any of you know where
Madeira is?
Tommy-Yes, know. There is some
in bottle in pas desk.-Texas Sift-
ings.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-12
BUILDING AssoolAprons.
The Iron Belt Building and Loan
Association
OF ROANOKE, VIRGINIA.

AUTHORIZED CAPITAL, ssS, 900, 900.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
THE FAREWELL.

Not going abroad? What, tomorrow?
And to stay. goodness knows. for how long1
Really. Jack. 'twould appear that dry sorrow
Had done even you, sir. a wrong.
It has2 Ha! ha! ha! what a joke. sir!
Is it Mabel or Jenny or Neil?
I'm sure you are wrong; hold my cloak, sir.
Am not an old friend? Come now, tell.
The prince of our set broken hearJedl
What joke! Who rejected your Speak,
Did you look like that, Jack, when you
parted?
Was that pallor of death on your cheek
You interest me. Tell me about it,
And let your old chun, sir, console.
Hard hit in the heart, don't doubt it;
You were made for that sort of a role.
Did you bend on your knee like an actor,
Hardly knowing just where to begin?
Was dear mammals consent the main factor!
What fool the poor girl must have been!
Who was she? What! l-you were jealous2
Oh, Jack! who'd have thought such thing2
You've been certainly not overzeaious,
But, kiss me, and where is the ringI
Hartford Chat,
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
A Tow Horse That KNOWS omething.


A Washington driver says that there
is an old gray hill horse there that some
times cannot get back to his accustomed
place at the foot Of the hill in time for
the next car. This horse has nothing to
do with the blue line, and knows the
difference between the blue and the
brown cars. If he is on his way back
to the starting point and sees a brown
car coming, this shrewd animal will
turn around and stand alongside the
track waiting for the car to reach him.
No amount Of coaxing can induce him
to move, but after the car reaches him
he will pull like a major" until he
reaches the top. Then he returns to his
post, and when he again sees his car
coming turns and gets into position.
A day or two ago the hill boy, instead
of walking back with the horse OF rid
ing him, as was his usual custom,
jumped on a car and rode down. The
horse saw this and stopped half way up
the hill and would not move until the
boy came after him. Whenever the boy
rides on the car the horse stops half way
down the hiil, but when the boy remains
with him the old gray pursues the even
tenor Of his way until he reaches the
bcttom.--Our Animal Friends.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Do Men Like Prison Life?

think, said 8 detective the other
day, there must be a fascination about
life in Jail, for certain men who have
been in there for little while seem to
leave it with regret, and do not lose
their interest in what goes on in prison
for some time after they are released.
Again and again l have noticed men
who have been confined for few
months come back every day after their
release and stand at the door, looking in.
They had no friends in there, unless
they made friends among the other
prisoners, and they did not speak or
wish to speak to any one. They leaned
against the grated door and looked in,
as if they wanted to come back.
really think some of them become
attached to the life, and one reason is
that unless they are men of gentle feel
ings they do not feel the shame of their
position as long as they are inside, but
when they come out and meet other men
they know they have the Jail stain on
them, and they imagine every one sees it.
/ have often watched them standing
there by the door, and wondered what
feeling it was that drew them back
London Tit-Bits.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
A Chinese City. of Today.

Annoy proper and it's suburbs have a
living population of about 100000 and
a dead one Of four and half times as
many. The wells are shallow and are
sunk on the edges Of the graveyards,
and even among the tombs themselves.
have not seen one whose water is not
muddy and discolored by the perpetual
turning up of the soil.
The city is a relic Of the past. It is
walled the same as it was in the time of
Confucius. It has no sewers whatever.
The streets vary from two to six feet in
width; no wheeled vehicle can use
them. An equestrian would experience
great difficulty in turning q corner.
Here and there is an open space or
plaza, dug out so as to be a huge open
cesspool; into it the streets discharge
their flth.-Cor. Practitioner.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

THE NORTHWESTERN LINE-C st. Paul
81 0. Ry now offers new and better train ser
vice and with more comforts for travellers to
the Worlds Fair City, as follows.
BADGER STATE EXPRESS Daily Leave
Minneapolis 7:15 A. NJ, St. Paul 7: IS A. NJ, Eau
Claire II 100 A. NJ, Dinner in Dining Car and
arrive Milwaukee 1855 r. n, Chicago 9:s5 P. NJ.
This train with luxurious Parlor Cars gives q
day light ride through the most beautiful por-
ton Of Wisconsin affording delightful pan
Drama view the entire distance and reaching
Chicago in ample time to connect with more
night trains for the East and South than by any
other line.
ATLANTIC EXPRESS (Ex. Sunday Leave
Minneapolis 4:35 PM, St.. Paul, 5:15 PM, Eau
Claire S:24 PM, and arrive Chicago 800 A. NJ,
| connecting with early trains of the Chicago &
Grand Trunk, Monon, Chicago & Alton, Illinois
Central, Wabash and other lines.
This train has Palace Sleeping Cars with
Buffet Service-Lunch served at any hour.
vEsTIBULE LIMITED DAILY Leave Mime.
apolis 7:25 P NJ, St. Paul sos PM. Eau Claire
II M, arrive Milwaukee 7:25 AM, Chicago $50
Am.
In arranging the time of this 'Vestibule Linz
ited' it is not made fast running train, al
though consuming only only 1874 hours st. Paul
to Chicago, but it is time for comfort making
but very few stops which gives long steady runs
and with the handsomely furnished new and
improved Sleeping Cars and lighted by Gas
together with the Breakfast Service in Dining
Car before arriving in Chicago the trip is one
of comfort andiluxury unapproachable by any
other line.
Secure Tickets and Sleeping Car Accomoda-
tons, via THE NORTHWESTERN LINE, at follow
ing Offices:
159 East Third Street, st. Paul.
ID Nicollet House Block, Minneapolis.
1872 Hotel St. Louis Block, Duluth.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Discovered Their Loss from a Friend.

Discovered Their Loss from q Friend.
A small boy recently brought a ladies'
gold watch into a Lewiston jewelry
store and desired to have a broken crys-
tai replaced. The dealer had repaired
the watch a few days before and he had
it's number and at once recognized it.
The nghtful owner Of the watch, as it
happens, lives neighbor to the jeweler,
and when he went home to supper that
night he called and asked them if they
had sent the watch to the shop for re-
pairs. They said they had not. He
asked them if they had lent the watch
to any one and the answer was in the
negative.
They were quite sure the watch WIS
in the case where they had left it. At
the request Of the jeweler they looked
and to their great. surprise the watch
was not there. The jeweler then pro
duced the property and told Of the boys
coming to the store to have the crystal
put in. That was the first intimation
the family had Of being robbed ewis.
ton Journal
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
A Clever Defense.

Sea captains have many adventures,
and the stories of their wonderful es-
capes seldom lose by repetition. Many
years ago pirates cruised up and down
the English channel to the great peril Of
the merchantmen. The story is told of
q Captain Davis, who was noted for his
quick wit as we'll as for his skill in navi-
CATION that he was returning from Ire
land with cargo consisting mainly of
butter.
He had not been out very long when a
pirate was seen coming down upon him.
In vain all sails were spread; every mo-
ment brought the pirate nearer.
The men were at their wits end, but
the captain knew q trick or two. He
ordered his men to take off their boots
and stockings, and directed that score
of butter barrels be brought on deck.
In a few minutes the barrels had been
knocked to pieces. and the butter was
thickly spread all over the deck and out
side the ship. Not rope nor spar
that was not slippery. Even without
their boots and stockings the sailors
could scarcely keep On their legs.
On came the pirate, not dreaming how
smoothly he was to be received. Cap
tain Davis assumed ali air Of submission
and allowed the enemy to come along
side quietly.
But 10! when they jumped over, fully
armed, with pistol in one hand and
sword in the other, they slipped about
and tumbled over each other on the but
tered deck like SO many rats.
One fellow shot head foremost down
into the cabin, where he was i1nme~
diately set upon by the boy; another
slid across the deck and shot out into
the sea by an opposite portfolio.
Not one Of them could stand on his
feet and as pirates are generally super
stjtious, an idea seized them that the
ship was possessed of the devil. They
hurried back into their own vessel, cast
loose, and Captain Davis got safely into
port at the expense OF a few pounds Of
butter. -Youth's Companion.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Signs of Grief in Madras,

In Madras, after the death of father,
the sons of the deceased must be shaved
from head to foot as a sign of their
grief, no part of their body escaping the
cleansing blade. have been somewhat
amused to see sorrow stricken son fol-
lowed patiently about by the barber till
he has been sufficiently claimed to sub
NIT to the operation. No sooner is the
pyre fred and the body hidden from
sight by a liberal plastering of mud, in
which it burns, than the bereaved seeks
out pleasant, shady spot, and the tedi-
GUS shaving commences. First, the head
is cleaned, then the face, nor is the task
over till the last hair is gone.-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
The Barred Head at Funerals,

The barred head at funerals is, for hy-
gienic reasons, becoming a custom Of
the past in sonle localities. An agita-
ton against it was started by Captain
George A. Raabe, a member Of many
benevolent societies in San Francisco,
and as a result Of his labors nearly
every society Of the kind on the Pacific
coast has adopted resolutions to the e.
feet that the members shall keep their
hats on at the graves OF their departed
comrades. Grand Army posts in Cali
fornia have followed suit. Societies in
Milwaukee are discussing the same
question. Health Commissioner Win
gate, of that city, recently made these
sensible remarks ON the subject of the
exactions of the modern funeral:
Death comes at time very often in q
family when an overworked and nearly
broken down mother or sister or wife,
or perhaps a husband, is nearly if not
completely Frustrated, and whose health
is in q most precarious condition. Ply
sicians can testify, as no other class in
the community can, to the often serious
results of funeral as it is conducted
nowadays. A delicate member Of the
family, who perhaps has not been out
Of the house for weeks. worn down and
prostfated by the care and grief Incl
dent to the loss of dear relative, is SUBJ
jected to Ion =. slow ride in a carriage
ON cold, inclement day. Custom has
had its way; the victim, following the
custom, thinking it duty, returns to
her home. not to go out again till she liz
followed over the same road to the last
resting place by perhaps others who fall
victims after her.
am comparatively young man, and
yet have not fingers enough on which
to count cases of this kind that have
come under my own observation and in
my own experience as physician, and l
have resolved to raise my voice against
this custom whenever and wherever |
may have the opportunity Chicago
Times,
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Suggestions for a Sum-
rner Trip.

lfyou wlsh to take the trip OF lifetime, Dur
chase the low rate excursion tickets sold by all
principal lines In the United States and Canada
via the Northern Pacific Railroad to Yellowstone
National Park, Pacific coast and Alaska.
The trip 10 made with the hghes, degree OF
co11fort in tho elegant vestibuled trains OF the
Northern Pacific Railroad. which carry diuina
cars and luxurious Pullman sleeping cars from
Chicego st. Paul and Minneapolis to Montana
ind the Pacific coast, without chsDye and
special Pullman sleeperg from St. Paul and
Minneapolis to Yellowstone Park
The scenery ell route is the most magnifceas
to be found III ths seven states through which
the road passes. Beautiful moontains, rivers.
Valleys lakes and plains follow each Other in
rapid succession to delight the tourist, who will
also find interest In the agricultural, mining
numbering. industrial and other interests asseci.
ated with the develo p1nent OF the great North
west.
The browning glory of the trip through she
Northwest. however, is the gisit to Yellowstone
Park, the land of no, Springs. geysera and gor.
geous canons. and to Alaska with its end,ass
ocean Channels, snoWcapped peaks, Indian VIII
lagos and giant glaciers.
If you wish to investigate this suggestion fur
ther send to Charles 8. Fee, General Passenesc
Agent, N. p f. E.. st. Paul, Mimi, for copies of
the handsomely i'll lstrated 'Wonder!and" book.
Yellowstone Park and Alaska folders.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Better Than Writing.

The other day a young lady visiting
friends in Sewickley decided to prolong
her stay-a usual decision with those
visiting Sewickley. She wished to no
tify her father of her plans. She neither
wrote nor telegraphed, but simply went
to the Sewickley telephone station and
talked to her father, who was at his
Office in town in the eastern end of the
state, over 300 miles away. The miracle
Of the talking wire is on one , which 6;. seems
telephone reaches points hitherto at
tanned only by the telegraph or the
slower process Of the mails. Pittsburg
Bulletin. s. Il. +. 81 .5
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
A London Detective.

There is no limit to the audacity of
the London private detective. One Of
the most enterprising of these worthless
acknowledges in an advertisement the
many tsinvitations he has received to
stand as a parliamentary candidate"
and says he has been unable to acknowl-
edge s'sa1ne individually in consequence
of the many delicate matters requiring
his personal attention. Chicago Her
aid
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
His Identity IL Proved.

Clerk (at country postoffice to gentle
man desiring to cash money order)-
Have you any proof Of your identity?
Gentleman searching through his
pockets finally finds his photography r.
Will this do?
Clerk Degrading first the photograph,
then the original}-Why, yes, that is
you. That is all right.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Art Note.

Z: Artist-The public makes me sick.
Critic-Why, what's the matter with
the public?
Nobody will give even as much as
ten dollars for my last picture. I've q
notion to throw my brushes out of the
window"
"Don't do that. Keep the big ones at
least"
'Why should keep the big ones?"
"You may need them some Of these
days in painting fences. "-Texas Stiff
ings.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
Improving.

Aunt Hilda-Think this world is i'm
provin, do We? Folks lie as much as
ever, don't they?
Mr.. Jinks-N-o, not by good deal.
Mighty few epitaphs put on tombstones
neutrality-suspicious. York Weekly.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

Cutting the ears of children is wicked
and dangerous practice. The concus-
sion Of the air in the ear passage is ex-
tremely likely to fracture the tympa-
mum of the ear and thus render the
child permanently deaf.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

Books kept in ordinary bookshelves,
and thus exposed to the air. will keep
much better than those in bookcases
with closed doors.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

The chief tools Of the old time shoe
maker consisted Of his hammer, his awl,
his lapstone, his knives and his harness
Tor .'setting up" his boots or shoes
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
NATIONAL OFFICERS.

ME- WHERE, n ., Philadelphia, Pa.
M SLATTERY. N s, Albany. N Y.
THos DUrDoN, N T, Columbus, Ohio.
NaIioral Directors-P j O'Connor. chairman
Savannah. Ga; j Nd Clark, Wisconsin; john P
Murphy, Connecticut: H J Cloran, Canada;
Edward Sweeney, Ohio.
STATE OFFICERS-M INNESOTA
STATE DEMONSTRATION MCCARTHY. of Still
water.
STATE SEcRETARy-Rey kervick, Pipe
stone.
STATE TREAsuRER-John Mahoney, sos 4th
st E. Minneapolis.
STATE BOARD OF DrRECToRs-P Fl O'Hara,
Graceville; J Kinnane. Minneapolis; William
Delaney, St Paul: 3 E Newell, Morris; He's
sian, Duluth.
President Of Insurance Fund, J Kennedy st
Paul.
Vice-president. d McDermott, Clontarf.
state Secretary of Insurance, John A
O'Shaughneasy. saltwater.
State Treasurer of insurance. John sheehy,
Montgomery.
Directors of Insurance Fund. F q Grant, st
Paul: j Kinnucan, st Paul; Terrence Con-
molly, Minneapolis: F Kildnf, Belle Plaiae;
Geo w Murphy, Earibault.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

Every boy expects to be eaten up by q
panther or painter y which is the or
binary mountain lion. These lions are
the only sneak thieves in the mountains.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03

The river approaches to Lake Mica
ragua abound with the only species Of
fresh water shark known to scientists.
The Irish standard., 1892-09-03
AvooA. MURRAY COUNTY.

County Delegate. e Mcnamara.
Div. No. spiritual Director. ReY Coadron;
president, q Mahoney; vice-president. Peter
Brady; treasurer. Dwyer: rec sec, J P Sui
Ivan: fin sec, N Crowley; ms sec. e Merriman; ;
marshal, J Mcnamara: ser alarms. W Bot
TOMS; door-Eeeper, NJ Griffin; meet lss Sun
day OF each month.
aRACErILLE. BIG STONE COUNTY.
County Delegate, Patrick Healy
na pseident, oNe5 president Thos
noon; treasurer, Alex Mogran: meet 1st Sunday
of month
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1892-08-27

The State Board of Public Education,
at its meeting held at Baton Rouge on
tt 10Th inst. appointed the following
gentlemen on the School Board in and
for the Parish of Lafdnrche: Judge A.
F. knobloch, Numa Elfert, Anatole
Braud, R. R. Mcbride, C. S. Mathews,
Jules Orilllon, w. E Howell, j. Lo-
whey Leblanc, Emile Toups and Jo-
seph IN. W. suppose) Bourgeois.
They are all new members with the
exception of Judge Knobloch and Mr..
Braud.
The appointment is a good n ard
we have every reason to believe that
these gentlemen will discharge their
duties with satisfaction to the good
people of Lafourche and credit to
themselves. With Judge Knobloch
who has served satisfactorily on the
old Roard for several years in the ca
pacity of Secretary and Superintend-
ent, the new Board will have no trou-
BILE in getting along with the routine
work.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1892-08-27
A NEW NUGAR-MAKING MA.
CHINE.

Mr.. VIM. Schlater, one of our enter
prising and progressive planters, has
contracted tor a new piece Of machin-
cry called a concretor which it Is claim
ed will reduce the cost of manufacture
one half and will sOlidify clarified cane
juice and syrups into solids or sugars,
leaving no molasses. He expects, at
ter getting the juice clarified and prop
erly cleaned, to pump same into tanks
elevated some 10 or IL feet, and feed
the machine from these tanks, which is
a copper cylinder heated by mean of a
steam iron jacket surrounding it, that
is an external cylinder something lar
ger than the copper or juice cylinder,
and between the interior of which and
the exterior of the cylinder hot steam
IS forced by a large, hot air pump
The bottom Of the cylinder is a circu-
lar piece of piping freely perforated and
through these perfOratiOns is forced a
body of hot air-the hot air forcing its
way through the heated juice. The
effect of the hot air causes evaporation
of all the liquescent molasses molecules,
leaving only the solid molecules, which
is done by Il spraying process.
His concretor calls for a capacity o.
1900 pounds per hour and is to be de-
liveIed on Star plantation and in run.
ming order by September l. 1892. 1t il
claimed by II inventor that it can bt
run at a cost of a t of a pound of Goa
to a gallcn Of water necessary for mo
tive power, and he claims it requires
just 80 minutes to reduce u liquid of II
degrees Baume to a sugar concrete ant
it can be placed in sacks, boxes or bar.
rels.-Our Home journal Plaquemine
La.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1892-08-27

The Thibodaux College, under the
able management of the Brothers of the
Sacred Heart, will reopen It's doors on
Monday, September 5th, 1892. This
we'll known institution needs no praise
nj our hands. Bro. Suarez is very
thankful to the good people of the Par
ish of Loiourche tor the patronage he
received ut their hands last and
~solicits a continuance of the same.
See advertisement elsewhere. Patro-
inize your home institutions.