The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-04-05

iput rcNcHhDrr lnuC, after all, 1T Is
only the Grecian vase heavily orna-
mcntcd. No one person can taste half
the dishes 1t takes u long time, and
the room may be too hot. The limita-
tions of dinner should be considered.
1t is splendid picture, no doubt. But
it need not appall the young hostess
who desires to return the civility.
A vase of flowers or basket of
growing plants can replace tho
cpergncs. Some dinner cards etched by
herself, with Il Shakespeare quotation
showing II personal thought of each
guest chow complimentary. Her spot
less glass and silver, her good soup, her
fresh fish, the haunch of venison roast
ed before IL wood fire, the salad mixed
by her own fair hands, perhaps dessert
over which she has fingered, bit of
cheese, n cup of coffee, n smiling host
and Il composed hostess, n congcnial
company, wit withal, who shall say
that the little dinner is not as amusing
as the big dinner? To be composed; yes,
that Is the first thing to be remembered
on the part of Il young hostess She
may be essentially nervous and anxious,
particularly if she is just beginning to
entertain, but here she must rcsolutely
put on mask of composurc and
assume n virtue if She have it not
Nothing is of much Importance OK
cepting her own dcmeanor. A fussy
hostess who scolds the servants,
wrinkles her brow, or even forrcts to
listen to the man who is talking to her
is the ruin of dinner.
AS, however, it is Il great intellectual
RI
with a small household and small
means, perhaps that form of entertain
ing may be postponed n few years
Never attempt anything which cannot
be we'll done. There is the afternoon
tea, the musical evening, the reception,
the luncheon, they arc all easier to give
than the dinner. The young hostess,
ambitious to excel in the ''art of enter
tanning" can choose thousand ways.
Let her avoid attempting the impos-
isiblc and let her remember that no sue
cess which is not honestly gained is
worth n pin. If it is money it stings. if
1T is place and position it becomes the
shirt of Ncssus. Earn everything hon
estly.
But for the el1-mannercd and we'll
behaved American woman what Il no,
bic success. what perfect present
awaits her, what delightful future!
She is the founder of the American no.
bility. All men bow down to her. She
Is the queen of the man who loves her.
lie treats her with every respect She
is to teach the future citizen ''honor,
loyalty, duty, respect, politcncss, kind
ness and the law of love" Such man
could read his Philip Sidney and vet not
blush to find himself n follower. An
American woman yields the only rod
of empire to which American men will
bow. She should try to be an empress
in the best sense of the word. To a
young woman entering society we
should recommend Il certain exclusive
ness. Not snobbish exclusivcncss, but
1T is always wei. to choose ones friends
slowly and with due consideration.
We are not the most perfect beings in
all the world. We do not wish to be in,
innate with too much inperfcction. A
broken friendship is very painful
thing. We should think twice before
we give an intimate friendship to any
one No woman who essays to enter
tain should ask everybody to her house.
The respect she owes to herself should
prevent this. Her house becomes a
camp unless She has herself the power
OF putting Il sieve outside the door.
And as hostess is the slave of her
guests, after she has invited them, she
must be all attention and all suavity.
If She ncs nothing to offer them but the
hospitality of a small house, cup OF
tea and smile she is just as much q
hostess if bn 1yora q o,,oon
offers them every luxury and is not
polite she is snob and vulgarian.
There is no such detcstable use of ones
privileges as to be rude on ones own
ground. THE man who eats your salt
is sacred" However, "to patronize" is
IA great necessity in some natures.
There is little opportunity for it in free,
brave America, but some mistaken
hostcsscs have gone that way. Every
one feels pleasantly toward the woman
who invites him or her to her house:
there is something gracious in the act
But if, after opening her doors, the
hostess refuses the welcome or treats
her guest with Il doubtful degree of
cordiality, why did she ask you at all?
Every young American can become a
model hostess, She can master etiquette,
create for herself polite and cordial
manner, she should be rs serene as n
summers day, she should keep
all her domestic troubles ont of
sight. If she entertains let her do it in
her own individual way, small way if
necessary. There was much IN Touch
stones philosophy-'a poor thing, but
mine own" She must have the instinct
OF hospitality, which is to give pleasure
to all ones guests. And it seems unncc-
essary to say to any young American
hostess, "noblesse oblige." She should