The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-20
ALLEGED FUN.

whats a Centaur, papa9' -
Centaur, my dear child, is a fabuEou
creature, now extinct. "-PBVcb.
f What did it2" queried the friend o
tbs defeated candidate.
Il strongly suspect" replied the lat
} ter, pensively, that votes did it,
Chicago eacs,
Neither my father nor grandfa.h her
ever did a bit Of work in their lives,
boosted the visiting young man,
"Gosh!T said Uncle S-ummerboard,
"Wuz they feeble-minded t0o9"-
Indianapolis Journal.
Lady x 60 Egyptian prince Well,
how do youlike this country2" Bgyp-
tain Prince-"I ana delighted with
everything, but especially with the
Towers. Flowers are my passion"
Cakes the celery and shifts it ecstati-
caIly.)
Eeacher-'Whe IS, independence
day2" Davia-"Fourth of July.
Teaeher-"Rsght. When did Colum-
bus discover American David-"I
don't know. I think I could remenn
ber it, though, if. it was holiday. >
H0gp8r'S
Amy-Georqs,. dear, what do ysu.
think of my new reformed gown?
MFR. Dolley surveying it critically
There's something in it, I like.
Amy-What2
Mr.. Dolley-You.-%udge
Mrs. Swell-"Our house is fitted up
with all the improvements and We
ha@o :. picture. molding in the parEar. %
Mrs. Home9pun-'Sakes alive! But
your house mast be awful dampL To
think Of a pSeture molding! 1t naust
be the paste, Ls'posa Boston Tran,
script:
I'm so eeTry to have missed New
York in season." said the English visi-
tor. 81 presume I've missed a great
deal, :" We'll, [ don't know" sad the
young Woman. "You are herein the
watermelon season. and, after all, the
watermelon is more American than
our society. "-Horper's Bazaar.
A peasant woman, in the absence of
her husband, sells two fat COWS to a
passing dealer. AS he says he has no.
money with him, she is unwilling to
to let him have them without security.
Every WELL" he says, "then I will
leave one of the COWS for security"
The woman agrees and calmly allows
him to march off with she other COW.
A friend of ours, then living in
| Racine, ordered, with other books,
from G.. & Co., of Chicago a copy of
| Canon Farrar's "Seekers after God"
just then out In a short time the
other volumes came to hand but being
out of the Canon's book, G.. & Co.,
wrote at the bottom of the invoice:
"No Seekers after God in Chicago
st. Marks Monthly.
Two Answers to one Conundrum-
"Miss Grace" he said, with an engag-
ing smile, "did you ever try your
hand at one of these progressive con
undrums?"
"What is a progressive c%onundrum,
Mr.. Spoonamore7' inquired the young
lady.
Haven't you heard of them? Here
is one: Why is a ball of yarn like the
letter 't2' Because a ball of yarn is a
circular, a circular is a sheet, a
sheet is fat, a fat is $45 a month,
$45 a month is dear, a deer is swift, a
swift is a swallow, a swallow is a taste,
a taste is an inclination, an inclination
is an angle, an angle is a point, a point
is an object aimed at, an object aimed
at is a target, a target is a mark, g.
mark is an impression. an impression
is a stamp, a stamp is a thing stuck
on, a thing stuck is a young man in
love and a young man in love is like
the letter t. because it stands before
"a Miss Grace"
"Idon't think you have the answer
quite right" said the young lady. GA
ball of yarn is round, a round is a
steak, a stake is a wooden thing, a
wooden thirg Is a young man IN love,
and a young man In love is like the
letter t. because, Mr.. SpOonamore-"
Land she spoke distinctly because he
is often crossed" The young man
understood. He took his hat and his
progressive conundrums and vanished
from Miss Grace Garlinghouse's alpha
bet forever.