Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-09-29
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LauEhable.
Sprinkles of Spice.

Sprinkles of Spice.
A SKIPPER claims TO have seen the
sea serpent in the sky. Ii the phe
nomenal monster has really been
translated, many an ancient mariner
will experience a discouraging loss
of material for new yarns.-New
York World.
Mrs. KEENE-There are times
when / wish / were a man. Mr.
keene-For instance? Mr.. Keene-
When l pass Il milliner's window, and
think how happy ] could make my
wife by giving her new bonnet
Texas Siftings.
ToMMY-The lion is a carnivorous
animal, amt he, paw? Mr.. Figg-
Yes That is what makes him SO
dangerous to meat. = Indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. KEEDICK (praising young Mr.
Adlet to her daughter)-He doesn't
smoke, drink, or swear. He's a good
boy and would be true to you. Miss
Keedick Shaking her head Hes
too good to be true, mamma. Truth.
THE announcement Of purses for g.
year-olds seems like a bitter partiality
when so many grown folks have none.
Boston Globe.
He (anxiously)-"Did understand
you to say Miss or Mrs?" She de
murely) Miss" He (gallantly)-
pray, allow me to make it Mrs. =
Troy Press.
DEAR me-" exclaimed Mrs. Begosh,
"lo0k at that man comm out Of the
restaurant He's pickin' his teeth
with his pocket-knife. "Humph!"
replied her husband, che probably
wasn't raised where they have forks
and so he don't know no better. y
Washington Star.
Il HEAR that young Shiny is dying
of consumption. How does that
happen when he is such constant
smoker, and tobacco kills the germs
of the disease?" ooh, Shiny doesn't
smoke tobacco. He smokes cigar
cites. Buffalo Express.
SHE That couple in front of us
do you think they are married." He
Yes, I am sure they are. They
have been married a long time, too"
She-"Why, how do you know" He
Haven't you noticed that when d
pretty girl comes on the stage she
always hands the opera glasses over
right away?"- Somerville Journal.
your husband" said the caller,
sympathizingly, was a man of ex-
cellent qualities. Yes" sighed the
widow, "he was a good man. Every
body says SO. | wasn't much ac-
quainted with him myself. He be-
longed to six lodges. Texas Stiff
ings.
Mr.. JAesBY-My DEAR allow me
to introduce Mr.. Bagsby. Mrs.
Jagsby-I am delighted to meet you,
Mr. Bagsby. But do you know, MIR.
Bagsby, that l have 50 often heard
you helping Mr.. Jagsby to get the
front door open when he comes home
late at night, that it is almost the
same as meeting an old friend.-ln-
dianapolis Journal.
THE school teachers are getting
tan on their cheeks. Next month
they put rattan on their pupils
Boston Transcript.
He thought he'd go to Congress, but he
didn't get vote;
Although he took his ck-book and wrote
and wrote and wrote.
Detroit Tribune
II WONDER why it is, said old
lobe to his wife, that women pre-
fer drowning and men shooting in
case of suicide?" 81 suppose" she
replied, as she thoughtfully contem-
plated his nose, that it is because
men hate water so."-DetrOit Free
Press.
SURFACE Isn't Bighed rather
young to be a cynic? Rowley-Oh,
no. He has been graduated a year
and the world hasn't recognized him
yet.-New York Herald
SM1TH-You needn't tell me that
dogs don't know as much as human
beings. | took Ponto to church with
me last Sunday. Jones-Yes? Smith
Well, sir, he slept through the
whole sermon.-Life.
Il SUPPOSE" observed Harry Ho-
jack after the doctor had amputated
both arms as the result of Independ-
ence Day casualties, Il suppose that
| shall have to learn to shoot cannon
with my toes by the next Fourth. -
Jury.
Mr.. WICKwIRE-Here is something
you ought to read-an article on
ways woman can save money. Mrs.
Wickwire = Does it say anything
about her remaining single?-Indian-
apolis Journal.
ROAD AGENT stopping funeral)-
Hold up y'r hands! / want all tn
money we've got! Chief Mourner-
Bless me. Here's the undertaker's
bill-collector already.-Life.
SHE-I thought you told me Mr..