Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-02-04
Bro. Blossoms Sermon on Kickers and
Dancers.
RAMS HORN POINT.
Jan. 29th, 1892.

EoU0f American:
My neighbor. Ptolemy Fogg, has just
dropped In with q copy Of the Lewiston
Journal of Jan. 2lst. l had come In from
my chores and was seated with my feet on
the stove hearth. and feeling a. II I hadn't
an enemy in the world, when Ptolemy
opened the door and walked in with the
familiarity of friend. As he passed me
the paper, he remarked: There is some
thing in there, Bro Blossom, thst'n inter-
est you" seized the paper with eager
ness and ran my eyes over Its plethoric
columns. and my head began to feel sore.
Old memories, like lot Of ragged tramps,
went At q rollicking gait through my
| brain. They taunted me about the drub-
bing got two weeks ago, and the difficult
ty experienced in putting myself together
after got of the ground NOW. l read,
! and the first few lines we're balm to my
| wounds, but toward the close Of this par
| agraph Of padded rhetoric my wounds
were opened afresh. Now, l do not know
| as can spare the time, as have lots Of
| chores to do round the barn, and besides
| this am trying to dodge the grip. But l
| do feel mastery like taking a text and
| preaching a sermon, in fact, the movings
| Of my spirit prompt me to it. am not
much Of judge of sermon, and don't
have any good models Of sermonic litsra-
ture. That dear old soul, Elder Elnathan
Rapemhard turns, as he says. 1.-THE gospel
mill" at our school house, but his pond
soon runs dry. But he gives us the plain.
heart-searching truth. That is what in
tend to do. 1t don't need great model to
do that. So l told Ptolemy that was 60
| ing to preach. l had q little sermon l
wanted to let loose on the world. You
preach" sueered Fogg, why, what can
you say?"
! Now Ptoemy is not handsome man he
was once kicked by mule. The kick had
a depressing effect on his good looks. 1t
upset his nose and mouth and lifted one
eye so that it can look over his nose and
see what the other is about. But Ptolemy
knows great deal more than he did. He
/ cast on me, as he spoke, his best eye and
continued, "Whatll yer take fer yer tex'?"
There Is nothing in the Bible suitable"
l said. must keep abreast of the times,
so | have selected the folio wing words
from the Lewiston Journal
What n tame and uninteresting world this
would be, for the kickers, II 1t were not for the
| dancers"
Beloved hearer, this is the sad, sad wall
! of q man who. evidently, has fifty years to
live before he is three score and ten. It's
| the plant OF sympathetic soul distracted
with gloomy forebodngs. 1t is the groan
Of soul all tagged out. Ezekiel saw
nothing quite so stirring in the valley Of
dry bones as the kickers out of job.
David, with all his cares and enemies, was
not 80 much distressed as this complainant.
But | must not dgress. There stands
our text, like q primer class in country
school. Nice, tidy words! All about the
same height! Neat as II their aprons
were just of the line! With breath as
! -. - thar h-I
| they' uIrPOo'sIOuo inc pui -ouo. oUIuo
are sober, and demure, and modest, and
some are gloomy, and sullen, and some are
conscious of their charms, have a pomp-
Gus stride through a sentence, and others
are musical. And then some are built just
like people. Some are short and fat.
while others are all neck and legs, with the
words that are leve-headed fellows. They
know what they are talking about. Now
hearer. listen while | give them little
class exercise. Attention. text, Please
give the dear public your names, Speak
promptly!
-''A"-"Tsme"-'A 'And'-'sUnin
tere.ting" World" This" Would"
BE" For" The" - .'kickers"
Hush Hush. "If"-O, hold on, 1t
Stop, say! "Were"-Cant stop you?
"Not'-Will you never learn anything?
For Hold your clatter, won't your
"The'-"Dancers." There, you've done
it now! My dear hearers, this is bois-
terou. class, you see, Of eighteen words
out on lark. They stand by the road
side and poke fun at the kickers. They
must be the direct descendants of the
children that said to the prophet go up,
old bald head" o, you naughty, naughty
words! You ought to be ashamed of
yourselves! You know that you are tib-
bing. You know that the kickers would
not be out of job if there were no dane
ers. Why there is world of sin to kick
against, and lots of knee-knocked and
limp philanthropists to kick into stand
ing straight. Why, there is Neal Dow
and others busy kicking drunkenness.
What did you say? "Drunkards are often
made in the dance hall" Is that q fact?
Well, you have me there. Never mind II
you eighteen conspirators have driven me
from that point, l have you now. There
are q great army Of noble women kicking
for social purity. If there were NO dane
ers guess they could still have their
job. Eh? Did you speak again? The
dance hall is responsible for great deal
Of social impurity. Scrutinize the court
records and inquire into the cause of many
modern divorces" 1t is astonishing how
this text battles me. 1t heads me just
where thought was strongest. III try
once more.
"There are many who are kicking against
q spiritual famine in the church, kicking
against lukewarmness and against low
spiritual state. Now I've got you"
What's that? 1.-THE dancers are response
BILE for much Of the lax spiritual life in the
church," Well, do declare! What rev.
elation you eighteen fellows have made I!
Well, surrender. The text has got the best
Of the argument am q prisoner to the
logic Of these persistent eighteen. There
are two words that are twins In this class
Tame" and "uninteresting." They have
wrought my ruin. 1 bow to the text and
take back the exOrdium Of this sermon.
The man who spoke the words of our SER
! mon has not many days to live. They are
the uttersnce Of ripe old age. l extend
my hand across the bloody chssm, "Let US
have peace" Shake! Keep right on dane
ing or shall lose my job. take back
everything that's against the logic of the
immortal eighteen.
BENZ. Blossom,