The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-08-10
GIRLS IN SECRET DEBATE.
why No One Will Ever Know What the
Fair Creatures Talked About.

The Sylvania young ladies deter
mined a few days ago that in the
course of human events the times were
mellow for secret organization; 1t
was to be a kind of secret debating
club, and boys of all ages were OF
course excluded. They said it was to
be girls secret" society, and they
solemn1y declared they were going to
have it that way or not at all. For
about an hour the young ladies sat and
conversed, yet no one had the courage
to propose an organization. AT last,
however, one of them suggested that
they get to work. They knew they
ought to have president, but how to
elect one was the question.
One girl said she had heard her
father say that all presidents ought to
be elected by popular vote. So they
selected young lady whom they con-
sidered favorite with every one, and
she declared which one of their num-
ber should be presiding officer, and
thus the president was elected by
popular vote. Next secretary was
chosen by the voice of the whole as
sembly. 1t tickled the girls immense
ly to vote, and after they said "Yes"
or mo" they would all laugh for the
space of about five minutes
When order was permanently re-
stored the president announced that
question was open for discussion. The
words had hardly had time to escape
her lips before sixteen girls leaped
from their chairs and sixteen stimuli
taneous voices shouted, "Mr. Presl-
dent!"
The scene that followed beggars the
pen. Imagine sixteen girls all making
a speech on the same subject at the
same time. The president raped and
rerapped on the table and tried to
bring them to order, but her voice as
well as the sound of the gavel was lost
in the din. 1t was evident the debat-
ers were well prepared for the discuss
sion, for as time wore on they warmed,
up to the question, and their sixteen
impassioned voices made the ceiling
rattle. The lamp began to sway, the
scriptural notices that hung on the
wall rose and fell, and every now and
then chair would be sent furiously
across the room as an excited speaker
advanced nearer to the front.
The bending of sixteen pairs of arms
in unceasing gesticulations confused
and dazzled the eye like the revolving
of rapid machinery, and added but
direr confusion to the babel that fell
upon the ear. Occasionally two op-
posing arms would become entwined
as they aspired together to the ceiling.
| Then there was an instant pause in
that locality. and eyes would gaze
back on eyes that glared with the FIR fire
| of debate.
Sometimes fair debater would stop
| for second at the end of a sentence
to catch her breath and see what effect
her oratory was having on the rest;
but,when she saw that they all rushed
heedlessly on she plunged once more
into the maddening speech, and her
voice was heard above the roar.
| The president, good talker herself,
had at last yielded to the fearful odds
against her. and sank back into her
seat wrapped in silence and despair;
| the secretary buried her face in hel
hands and wept, but still those sixteen
richly freighted orators foated gal
lantly on over the stormy waves of de-
| bate But as time wore by natures
| exhausted forces began to rebel, and
at last, like the deacon's wonderful
one-horse shay, there was grand col
lapse, and the whole sixteen in the
same instant dropped painting from
the ranks.
| After fearful silence of about q
| minute one of the girls got up to re-
mark that she thought it was perfectly
disgusting for all the other girls tc
| commence talking when she started tc
speak, to which there followed an ex.
cited chorus of voices which said plain
| ly, although the words were not dis
| tinguishable, that each one was under
the same impression.
By a powerful use of the gavel, ,aideC
by her foot, the president was able tt
quel the mutterings of this second
storm and declare peace in Warsaw
again. The armistice, however, was
of short duration. The girls began tc
call for the decision of the chair.
Each one was sure she had made the
best points, and felt her brow warm
ing to the laurel.
The president arose and in few
words stated that she could not decide
the question from the fact that she
had not been able to distinguish sin
gle word that was said.
| AHaG was enough. 1no IdSI ; l1dpls
was still lingering on her lips wher
pandemonium broke loose again. Cries
of Treason" rent the air, and in s
great throng they made for that presi
dent and brought her down from tht
chair with force of arms. The scene
was indescribable. The widest ex
citement prevailed, and amid the con
fusion, while battle cries and Shout
filled the room, the reporter mad,
good his escape, and once more in th'
open air faltered, thanks to heaven, fo
life.
And this is the story of how th
"Girls' Secret" Society rose, fourished
and decayed in single night.-SylU0
MIA Telephone.
STOPPING A RAILROAD TRAIN.