The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1892-11-26
MRS. KsMIrH SCARED.

Something Happens 60 Indicate burglary.
Mrs. Ksmith is not superstitious
woman, nor is she hysterical except
about burglars. Anything but burglars'
know not what others may say, but as
for Mrs. Ksmith give her burglars and
give her death She went down TO her
favorite grocery-perhaps I should say
grocer--lSept by tall, good natured
Methodist with the genuine Methodist
sympathy for women. At the grocery
she talked long while with her favor
ite Methodist and at last went away
without buying anything. When she
was passing into her garden gate on her
return she happened to think that she
went down TO the grocery for matches.
She blushed little all by herself, said
"Well, there" and returned to the gro
Gerry. She bought a box of parlor
matches and after a few happy moments
with the grocer went home. She placed
the matches on the window sill where
she kept a hanging plant When her
kind husband came home to dinner he
watered the plant for her and incident
ally soaked the matches though he did
not observe it at the time
Late in the day when the water on
the match box and the plant had dried
in, Mrs. Ksmith took out some of the
matches and filed various ornamental
match safes in her kitchen and bed
rooms Still later in the day she went
over to Mrs. Bjones to borrow cup of
lard and remained there talking over
an hour. She did not intend to stay so
long but Mrs. Bjones was telling about
fight between her Irish washerwoman
and Mrs. Vallandigham's Polish wash
woman.
By the way, just word about that
fight. 1t almost ended in murder.
The dispute arose over the use of a line.
One word of genuine Irish brought on
another of genuine Polish until the two
were swearing at each other with great
vehemence, but each in language the
other could not understand. AT length
the Polish woman resorted to English
and said in accents showing intense dis
gust:
"Irish!"
The Irish woman was horror-stricken
and fell back in dismay. How the
divil," she said to bystander, "did she
know OF be Irish" Then she went back
at the Pole and tried to get handful
of hair. The Pole in turn tried to stab
her in the face with a clothespin and
then the employers of the two inter
fered and stopped the quarrel But
the Irish washerwoman could not
get over that "Irish!'' and half an hour
later soaped the stairs up and down
which the Pole had to climb when
hanging out clothes. The plot was dis
covered and murder prevented.
This was the story Mrs. Ksmith could
hardly retain in her memory till her
husband got home. Then she told him
and continued to repeat portions of it
till time to light the lamps or gas. Then
she got q match and tried to use it, but
she found it was soaked! She tried one
from each and every matchsafe.
All soaked!
RObberSi
She knew it. They had got into her
house and soaked all her matches SO
that when they arrived in the dead of
the night she could not light light.
The more she thought of it, the more
she was certain of it. Her husband
laughed and asked her why the thieves
had not done their stealing while in the
house soaking the matches
''Mebbe they did take something or
were scared off and are coming back to-
night to get the rest" replied Mrs. X.
Mrs Ksmith was nervous all the
evening and she did not sleep wink
that night Next morning her husband
happened to think, as she was telling
him where she put the box of matches,
that he had soaked them when he wa
tered the plant. He told her so and does
not have to water plants any more