The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-10-21

you would copy and forbid this list o
dishes / do not like, so my wife vii
not cook them for me any more.-Flie
gende Blatter.
| Open to Argument: / have always
/ held that two and two make four, yet i
person Of known respectability cam'
to me and said that he had discovered
that they do really make FIVE, / SHOULD
certainly hear all his arguments.-Arch
bishop Whateley.
Judge (to young woman charged
with shoplifting) Where do you live
young woman in the North End OF
| Back Bay? Defendant-Why do you
wish TO know? Judge (impatiently)-
How am | to tell whether this is plain
shoplifting or kleptomania ?-Bostor
News.
Probably Not: Thompson-I intend
to change my hotel. johnson (in o
whisper)-Does the landlady know it ?
Yankee Blade.
The Czarina there's a plot
against US, right here in our own house
hold The Gar (carelessly)-Oh, |
am getting used TO that sort Of thing.
The Czarina-But this is the most
dastardly plot yet. The Czar-What
is it? The Czarina On an awful Whisper
The cook is going to leaye.-Life.
She-Grandma has Just made her
will in my favor. He (apologetically)
But I'm engaged already Brooklyn
Life.
Multum in Parvo-A fat woman in
bathing suit.
An Exciting Race: Mrs. Hooligan
-Phwats come over ye, Dinnis, ter
make ye wurrick so fast-loike? Mr.
1ooligan = Whisht! Shtand out O. me
way, an don't shtop me- 0i'm sthriv-
in to git done before me pant gives
out.--Puck.
A Seashore Robber: "Did you ever
meet a real pirate ?" asked the young
lady. "Yes," replied the old navy Of
fcer, "once on the coast Of Maine" I"
"How delightful And did he live on
sloOp painted black ?" "No. He
kept a summer hotel"
His One Failing: The Young Man
Oracle, what is it your father sees in
me to object to, dahling2 The Young
Woman (wiping away a tear)-He
doesn't see anything in you, Algernon.
That's why he objects.-Chicago Daily
Tribune
The church being in bad repair, a
congregational meeting was called and
subscriptions were asked for. A close
listed fellow gave $50, and just as he
announced his gift, piece Of plastering
fell and struck him on the head, where
upon he called out: "Make that gl00."
Then an old deacon, astonished at his
liberality, shouted, "0h Lord, Int him
agaln."-Aspcn Union Era.
Soaring OFF The Cousins: "You are
looking bad this morning, Josiah" +" said
Mrs. Chugwater tenderly. "I'm not
looking any worse than / feel, Saman-
thy" answered Mr.. Chugwater. "I've
got the toothache, the earache, the
rheumatism, and / believe Pm going to
have a touch Of the neuralgia" @By
the way, Josiah, observed his wife, still
more tenderly, ''if you Will get your
things on we viii 60 and have that
photograph Of yours taken that we have
been talking Of so long" And in spite
Of the wretched mans remonstrances,
she hurried him off to a photographers
gallery down town, secured a negative,
and in due time sent four dozen Of the
resultant photographs to second and
third cousins Of Mr.. Chugwater down
in North Carolina and Tennessee, who
had begun to write and make inquiries
about possible accommodations during
the worlds fair.-Chicago Tribune.
In foreign countries, where the fields
and woods have looked TO me like our
English Loamshlre-the rich land till
ed with just as much care, the woods
rolling down the gentle slopes to the
green meadows-I have come on some
thing by the roadside which has re-
minded me that am not IN Loamshire
an image of a great agony-the agony
of the Cross. It has stood, perhaps, BY
the clustering apple blossoms, or in the
broad sunshine BY the cornfeld, or at a
turning by the wood where a clear
brook was gurgling below; and surely,
If there came a traveller to this world
who knew nothing of the story of mans
life upon it, this image Of agony would
seem to him strangely out of place in
the midst Of this joyous nature. lie
would not know that, hidden behind the
apple-blossoms, or among the golden
corn, or under the shrouding boughs Of
the wood, there might be o human
heart beating heavily with anguish
perhaps q young blooming girl, not
knowing where TO turn for refuge from
swift-adyancing shame; understanding
no more Of this life of ours than a fool
| ish lost lamb wandering farther and
farther in the nghtfall on the lonely
heath, yet tasting the bitterest Of hfe's
bitterness.
Such things are sometimes hidden
among the sunny fields and behind the
blossoming orchards; and the sound ol
the gurgling brook, if you came close
to one spot behind small bush, would
be mingled for your ear with despair
ing human sob. No wonder mans re-