The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1892-03-03
WIT AND ilUMOl..

and chase you forcver.-R"m's Hor".
He who thinks he can't win Il sure |
to he right ahou, it. for lie has already |
lost.-1e1as S.tttnys.
The principal difference between a
lobster and lobbyist is that you can
make a lobster blush.-D'eson lost.
The man " ho claimed that the world
owed him Il living is slowly collecting
the debt. He is u ,ramp.-Tz1 SVS"
sngs.
Stagcr-'.Eo wonder Wriyht's new
farce has taken so we'll" F"otlytes-
What's the name Of i.a' ''Vaccina-
tion.'
The good lie young. The bad live
to lie about the wcnther. and are spoken
of as the oldest Inhabitants. - Is@ss
Svlimgs.
There's a great art. Says Mickey
Dolan. in KNOWN what not 10 know
within yez don't w:n to know it,
Washimyto" STR.
That dog i. one Of our famous
MARYLAND breed" Yes, l recognized
his Chesapeake Bay last night. "-BtI-
tsm0rc AM'TtcHn.
This world i. 40 crowded that you
can't pat one man OIL the back without
stepping on another mans toes when
YOU ITO It. -.Atcass0n G 0'c.
Opinions are to the mind what fur
ni,ure is To Il house. 1t isn't economy
| to have more than you know what to
Il" WITH Washington Str.
Moses reputation for meckDcss might
have suffered if the prophet had had n
| ci,aucc to stand up before the tele-
phone test.-I' nsltinyt,w STR.
The cautious nature of the Indians
may account for their preference for
accepting official statements with res
ervations.-B aitinorc Aacricstm.
JoI,lo,s-'Therc is one thing about
heaven that l shall like immensely"
DR.. Tnir.ilv-'.Wi,si is ti,at?' Joblots
II, won't be closed Sundav."-N. Y.
Hcrlid
Smart Child Mamma. what are
the teeth of the wintry blast for?"
Self Possessed Mother-''To make "A
cold snap. my child" - Baltimore
american.
Philosophers have motto d that when
| u
to practice economy he generally tries
to begin wit his wife's cxpcnses.-
Ierts oifttngs
Watts-.'Say, Williamsport. Penn.
was named after William Penn. wasn't
i,2' Potts Il guess not. William
wasn't that sort Of man. "-I'tdt M
apoiis Journ
Baulso-''Ilow did you manage Ia
get through that crowd? l had 10
wait for half All hour" Cnmso-''l
was smoking THAT cigar you gave me-
lifts Cattndtr.
who is that sour. sulky-'ookin.
man on the platform who is so cx'
iremely unsMi,. in his manner"
That man? He is u leading Social
> ist."-N. !. Ir S..
Marie-"lIc broke her heart-t''t
, wretch!" Celeste-''Dil he jill her?
, Marie-'.N.,; he insisted on her kee,
:. ing her engagement when she had :
better oIcr." -Lyt.
Z nv bank account She (ne>,lin. u,
. to hi")-''why? Because 70" think 81
2 much of nm?' He No; because yot
arr sD lNltc -i-y.
Spa,tS-''Thc government is havin;
!, a lot Of raps'-iirin@ guas made Bloc
= bun,per-'-Tncy viii he useful in re
!, moving officials to uakc room TO
= Others. ~. y. san.
+ Kitty Win ~low-' They say you CT,
tell n girls character by the way Sill
holds her hands" Tom dc Witt
lin; can Tell more a'ou, it by tn
wav l hold her hands. '-luc&.
/, Who's runnin' dis placer" askc'
the tramp rs he stopped ut the rnra
resihrr"c. "Nnl""tyn answered III
+ man who lives there; ''the hired CIR
has night off. ''-IEsxhiagto. STR.
. D.sher-''Why do you wear sue!
. awfully loud trousers. old fell"w
: Masl,cr-''S So that | cawn't h"ah ma
tailor when he Games awourd 10 col
h lect the bill. uou,c!lcr know. '-Eosto
D Courier:
Tho E.ii.or - We'll. I've a goo
y notion to run for Congress" III
x Why do YOU want t. :.
. 10 Congress when You can get all tn
liquor you want right here9'-1iH s'ss
Constitution.
:. Enpcck-'I must have been drum
,. when | came home last night" MIR
n f ,peck WHAT makes you think sn?
y Enpcck -"r,e last remember. ! i,a
4 no notion If coming home. "-Sn,ttI
v Gr"y & Co.'S Month y.
!, T"mnv--'Wh,t's a jugsler Unci
Il Dicke' Uncle Dick" why. Tommy
a I'm surprised, ut YOUR not KNOWN Il,
a. 81,
q farmer that re,ail> hard cider by til
n joyful. "-Bostoa Courier.
;. Poor old L.ushforth fell down an
u broke the trestle IF his nose" Don
you mts,n the brihyc?" You migl
l. call it bridge. but as 30 water p,sst
= under it l thon .ht the other word I've
It tcr."--Iulian.,polis Jo"raal.
9 ''lsosalie has adopted an idea shs
!! makes all the girls awfullv jealous.
" What is tha,?" why. she has take
:" all her engagement rings 1T last sun
:. ,ner and had them ma.!e into Il ci,ai
: for her puy."-Harpsrs Bur-.
President OF the Il oolstone Bank
why do you dispute tn" cashier? h
seems to he very honest and NOR;
man." Director of the B.nk-"Wei
y | saw him reading Bible Oh stree
e car this morning. Minneapolis Jo"
nj.
Watts-''It will l,o many long d.
before the swords are turned in
plOwshares." Potts - % | dunn
!! Down in South America they seem
:. have caught the trick Of turning the
- =. into railway shares" - Imdt"mapo'
~ Journal.
n. .'rimmons is little the LATEST ma
Or ever met" said . brother scrib
Il whenever he feels the need vt Gu
e. Ceiling his brains for an idea instead
,e attending to it himself he goes out ~
K hunts up a policeman. ~ Iadianapo'
~ Journal.
ID Belle-'.What do you think of Il
as idea Of marrying for love?" Nell
is shouldn't think it was a good way