Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-08-17
SAVING THE CAPTAIN,
"LOoSHA" USED TO HAVE MUCH
TROUBLE WITH ONE BOAROER.

a
How She Was Accustomed to Steer Cap
tain Cluttcrbuck to His Room on the
TOP Landing''-What She Did for Him
on Ono Eventful Night-Hcr Story.
Previously to Loosha's assumption of
the reins of management at No. 500
Middleclass Flats, our present domestic
treasure occupied the position of house
and parlor maid at Billit's Billit's is
lodging house of the most approved re-
spectability, situated in the classic neigh
borhood of the British museum. AT
Billits gentlemen are taken in" by the
month or quarter, found" and .'done
for, and in this orbit Loosha revolved
with sharp and winking brilliancy for
the space of seven years. Loosha's
trenchant manner was formed during
this regime; her eye acquired its gimlet-
like properties; her bosom developed its
adamantine qualities of resistance to
wheedlements or 'comeovers" on the
part of the opposite sex.
''Human nature is human nature" rs
Loosha's mother, Mrs. Hemman's. is
won't to say, land men but men. call
em what you may" and, following this
example of maternal tolerance, Loosha
glides lightly over certain episodes in
her life at Billit's, when dodgers returned
home in the small hours, as Loosha puts
it, ga bit 'appy." When such a one
proved incapable of controlling his lam
guage or his boots within the proper
limits, Loosha's services were enlisted
for the dual purpose Of pacifying the
backslider and getting him up stairs
Loosha's ready presence of mind and
highstrung spirit would be invaluable.
one can understand, in moments of emer-
gency.
There is no human doubt that but for
her Captain Clatterpen Ooosha's short
for Clutterbuck, which really is his
name) would not at this present moment
be ''adroring the bereth of life Cap
tain Clatterpen had regularly for years
laid into Billit's docks when ashore for
the needful overhauling The captain
was grizzled, thick set, elderly, stanch
Presbyterian and an admirable seaman
He had but one failing.
Somewhere about the small hours of
the morning shufhing sound would
be heard upon the doorstep of Billits. a
puff of old Jamaica through the letter
slip would succeed an aimless period of
fumbling with the latchkey, and the in
mates of Billit's would be startled from
their slumbers by a nautical below, "Of
ship a-hoilt" says Loosha. Like the
fogorn of a penny steamboat it sounded,
and 'Old your noise, Capt'in Clatter-
pen, dor Mrs. Billit 'ud say, lettin down
the chain. Then in ed tumble as 'appy
as you please. There was only one way
O gettin i'm up stairs, and that called
the candle charm. 1t was done by 'oldin
the candle very near is face till is eyes
began to water an is whiskers smell
like singein an then droring of it little
way back, when ed stagger arter it like
pessimized subjec'.
Zone night, when e was as bad as
ever I'remember to "a seen i'm, lured
i'm up stairs in this way till | got i'm on
the top landin, where his bedroom was,
close to the iron ladder that run up to
the fire escape trap in the roof. got
i'm into is armcheer, took off is collar.
anraked out the fire, collared is matches.
give i'm II soothin shake an left i'm.
Then l goes down to set Mrs. Billits
art at rest before goin to bed myself, as
slep' on the same top landin with that
old peach. Up l comes again in ten
minutes time. Lo and be'old you! Wot
1OlS / h11f &c 10
simpularly, the roof trap, with the stars
blinkin through. Next minute | ears
the capt'in's heavy footmarks jouncin
on the leads over'ed. Up the ladder
ops and puts out my ed.
Though knowed e was there it give
me turn to see i'm staggerin up an
down amongst the chimbley pots. Be-
fore could breathe my lips e turns an
sees me. "A 'oylr sezee. COWS the
wind, boszmY BLOWN round the cor
ner! says 1, KNOWN e must be humored.
At that @ gives lurch as nearly car
ried i'm over the parapet. Lay FER ed
to it, sezee; AN d'jeer! Fetch me my
night glass from the cabinp Which
you've 'ad one too many at this identical
moment, thinks l.. but says to i'm coax
in'ly: Go on! Wot comfort is there in 'av-
in it up ere? Come down an mix for your
self, capt'in.' 'Wot do you mean, you son
of a seed cake? sezee in tearin rage. DO
you think I'm goin to send my ship an
crew an cargo to Davy Joseph's locket?'
sezee, by stoppin under 'atches on a
dirty night like this?' Dirty OF not
says l, you won't clean it by stoppin up
ERE amongst the blacksr 'Shiver my
tops, sezee, If l ever 'eard such mu-
thus langwidge in the ole course of
my experience. I'll stop your grog,
you (and to repeat is language
would be to delnean myself. 'Pll put
you i'll irons or my name amt Joshua
Clatterpen.' Come an do it, says l.
tauntin i'm an poppin down the ladder
agin.
"Breathin fire and slaughter, e sets
down on the edge of the trap 'ole, drops
is legs through an begins to come down
the ladder. "A ned wind an nevey
Eea,' e growls; COW she pitches, the
cussed old 'ulk! 'ow she rolls! dom 'er
old dead lightsr Which shows the sort
VI lOLittiC 10 llli1tt WAS OU. AL
then l jumps sky Ugh, for e misses is
footin an come down on the landin with
a crash an below that brought all the
dodgers out of their beds rs pale as
ashes, thinkin it's the last trunk. The
shock sobered Capt'in Clatterpen. for g
picked 'isself up. nip an went off to he'd
as mild as milk. Though stiff in the
joints next day, which is nothin to what
ed "a been if o hadn't fell into the
'ouse instead of off it, as e would IA
done but for me.
IAN l always have said, an ever
shall, Loosha is wont to wind up. IF
it was with my passin breath. that IA
garden angel couldn't "a done more fora
man than l did for Capt'in Clatterpen
that identical night. st. James Ga
zette.
Why Livery Stable Men Trust.