The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-07-06
WtT AND HttMOR.

uQu1u eve Is OSSCubidl w HOAAAS3
book.-Bostoe Courier. ,
Money is not exactly religious ar
ticle, but still it has denomination
of its own.-Rochester Post.
What is loveP Two heads with but
a single thought, two fools that act
like one--Bostoaa Transcript.
From present indications the sum-
mer girl will look very much like
slice out of rainbow. Baltimore am
ericd9a.
Amateur photographers will hold
meeting in Rochester next summer.
1t will be snap convention.-Bl1ag-
hamton Republican.
1t is hard for the world to believe
that the sinner who rides in carriage /
is made out of the same clay as the one
who begs.-Rama's Horn.
"Talk is cheap" the proyerb says, |
but that is no reason why any man
should bother his neighbors with cheap
talk onae7Vilte journal.
81 have at last come to the conclu-
sion," began Mr.. Stalate. $50 glad,
murmured his fair victim, glancing at
the clock.-M Y. Herald.
The boy is not only father to the
man, but he aspires to be boss of
the woman. When the woman is his
mother he generally succeeds. Boston
Transcript.
"Did you ever see such backward
spring as thisP" asked Bellefeld.
mo" replied Manchester, "but l have
seen many back summerset. Pitts
burg Chronicle.
f0ld II hal1
was like fiery furnace? What did he
say?" Cynicus-"Didn't care; said it
would be out more than half the time"
IN. Y. Herald.
Mrs. Grumps Cooking over new
house) hat in the world is this
vast attic forp" Mr.. Grumpps-"It's
to hold the things you buy and can't
use. IN Y. Weekly.
"I'm going to start my boy in life as
maker of weather vanes," said Park
ly. "What an ideal" "Yes. In that
business one gets to the top at once,
don't you ees"-Boston Post.
~They say that old Bick is regular
pirate aYes, | came to the conclu-
sion that he was perfect freebooter
when / called upon his daughter the
other night. boston Gazette.
Mr.. Norris-"Is the janitor of your
fiat honest?" Mr.. Skyhigh-"I guess
SO; / gave him $5 when 1 moved in
last May, and haven't had to buy but
one ton of coal since. Life.
Dicker-"I am told that Wahl is a
very different man in his family than
on the street." Bond =" eyes; Mrs.
Wahl says he's bull on the street and
bear at home. IN Y. Herald.
Professor = "Under what circum-
stances does money flow out of the
country?" Student--"Why, when a
foreign nobleman marries an Ameri-
can girlP"- Harvard Lonapoon.
City Editor-"We ought to get new
heading for the weather column. 'Lo-
cal Forecasts is about played out. "
Assistant-"How would The Unex-
pected Always Happens do?"-L!te.
Laura Lonely This drinking cup
was made for me when | was ba by"
Rosa Roaster-"How beautiful! Aren't
the productions of the ancient metal
workers charming. ."-Jeweter's Weekly.
Marguerite -@Why do they call this
leap yearP'" Pearl (wearily) Il
suppose because there are 366 days
in which one has chance to jump
at an offer of marriage. Brooklyn
Eagle.
Spriggs-"It looks to me as if it was
going to rain before night" Briggs
as that SO? | must start right out
now, then, and borrow an umbrella
before the other fellow notices it,
Somer0ille journal.
Mrs. Corso (reading)-"There has
been another big robbery in New York
"a million dollars stolen" Mr.. Carso
Gan enthusiastic Hill Democrat)
Another Hill victory. They can't bea
him. Buffalo Express.
Seminary Teacher = yesterday
read you the histories of some famous
heroic acts; now, Ella, what would yoI
consider an example of a modern
deed of heroism?" Ella-"To refuse
Lieutenant" FIegende Blatter.
"That is Mrs. Street, t-Commissionel
Jones over there, isn't itP "No; MOI
now" "Divorced?" @No; her hus
bands been promoted. She is now
Mrs. First-Assistant Deputy Subcon
troller Jones. ."-Harpea''s Bazaar.
"For years. observed the verbose
caller to the busy editor, 81 have beer
endeavoring to discover the lost tribes
of Israel" HAS it ever occurred to
you to advertise for them?" asked the
editor with deep concern.-Detroit Free
Press.
First Professor-"You see, they le
him in the Academy of Sciences be
cause he had taken an A. B., an S. b.
an A. M. Phi. D., and an M. D..
Second Professor-"Ahi I understand
he worked in by degrees. ."--Harvart
Ldnapoon.
Hotel Clerk @Sorry, but can't &C
commo late your troupe" Theatrica
Manager-"You don't suspect we'd b.
elephants on your hands, do you?
Hotel Clerk-"O, no. I've seen n,
signs of trunk yet."-Kdte Field
Washington.
Husband-"What kind of a sermon
did DR.. Founder preach to-day, m.
dearP" Wife-@Sermonl You dom
suppose l had any time to give to th
sermon, do you, when nearly ever.
woman in the church had ON nev
bonnet. IN. Y. Press.
Codling -"Why, Chappie, you lool
fatigued. What's the trouble?" Cos
lin-"rm quite tired, Cholly. go
up this mawning ten minutes earlie
than usual instead of remaining in bet
ten minutes later than usual, as l gen
ewally do. ."--Harper's BazGr.
"If l were to get you something t
do, would you be willing to work?
asked Gazzam of a man who aske
him fer dime. "If could get con
genial work, sir" what sort woul
YOU prefer?" "I'd rather work th
growler. ."-Detroi Free Press.
Country Landlady 81 hope tn
guinea hens won't annoy you. Cit
people generally object to their noise.
Mr.. Erbees-"Don't mention, it Mrs
Greene; I'm used to such things. M
neighbors in the city are nearly a
musical. boston Transcript.
"Ah!" said the enthusiastic youn
woman, as she listened through th
telephone to distant chorus, "this i
almost as if one were listening to th
heavenly choir" eyes, replied he
more practical companion, "but it
OnlV the electric wire Won knOW."-M