Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1892-05-08
[To BE CONTINUED
OF A PHILosoPHIC TURN.
Hostetter McGinnis Buys Cigar After
Much Waste of Thought.
Tlrrs Sif.in0f

Hostetter McGinnis Buys q Cigar After
Much Waste of Thought.
Texas Sif.iaSs
Hostetter McGinnis is philosopher.
He is always moralizing, even when en-
gagged in making purchases. He saun-
tered into a Harlem tobacco store. The
lady in charge OF the cigar department
said:
"You wish to purchase some cigars?"
"Yes, mum, il you please"
"Do you want an imported cigar"
at is with cigars as with the people.
Have you never noticed how the import
ed article, no matter how inferior II may
be, is preferred To the native article, no
matter how good it may be? just so
with human nature. The wealthy
American young lady has no use for the
sturdy native. She prepares to wed
some wretched Count de Vermicelli, or
some other foreign adventurer. No i'm
ported cigars for Inc. am a native
born American, although | am often
taken for an English lord is disguise. !"
"po you want light cigar?" she
asked, paying no attention to his rig
marole, for she was thinking OF business.
"Ah, how little you dream OF what
tender recollections you call within my
bosom. My first love was a blond, a
Colorado Maduro sort of girl, hut more
Colorado than Maduro. Some people
said she had red hair. We loved with
the pure unseltish love"
"Did you say looked like her?" she
asked, somewhat interested.
mo, but you reminded me OF her
when you spoke OF light cigars. She
was one OF the light sort. She ran OIL
with the clown Of circus. How much
is true love like cigar. When once lit
it should be kept burning to the bitter
end; but that is rareIy&the case except
in Chicago. Neither love nor a good
cigar should be allowed to go out. Light
ing a cigar a second time reminds me
OF a second marriage, or clearinghouse
hash warmed over. The genuine flavor
Is conspicuous by it's absence"
Here is brand OF cigars that is the
best in tho market. only show these
to men who know how to appreciate a
good cigar" she said, taking some out
OF the show case.
Thanks" said Hostetter, taking up
one of the cigars and examining 1t crit
ically. "You are quite right Ia showing
these good cigars to people who know
how to appreciate them. How frequently
good men and good cigars get into the
hands Of men who do not comprehend
the value of the jewel in their posses
sion. These ignoramuses throw aside
the man or cigar OF whom they are not
worthy, and, perhaps, crush out with
their heels the last spark OF genius, /
have had that happen to me forty times,
until | have got so that rather relish
being tramped under foot"
"Perhaps you had better take box
OF these?" she said, rather impatiently,
"for-"
"Ah. once, indeed, there was time
"a happy halcyon period in my exist
ence-when bought my cigars by the
box, but that day has fled, never TO re-
turn. The philosopher has to take a
back seat in these days. You never
hear OF a philosopher getting salary OF
FIVE thousand dollars a year, but that's
what baseball pitchers get" and he
sighed heavily.
"I'd like to get a cigar 10 suit you.
How do you like this sort?" she said,
slamming another box down on the
counter with considerable violence.
THAT cigar reminds me OF many
friends that were once proud to take my
hand in the days OF my prosperity.
They have beautiful, genuine Havana
outside, with cabbage leaves, pieces OF
old leather and other debris inside.
How many men with polished manners
are scoundrelSat heart! How often"
"Do you wish cheaper sort?" she
asked, swapping her eyes.
"If you please" he said calmly.
"How would dozen OF these for a
quarter do?"
Twelve indeed is a mystic number.
There are twelve months In the year.
There are twelve peers In France,
twelve apostles, but am afraid OF the
number twelve; 1t is so near thirteen,
which is an unlucky number. One cigar
will answer my needs at present." said
Hostetter.
'One?"
eyes, one cigar"
"Why didn't you say so before?"
because did not want TO act rashly.
Man Is is a thinking animal. Wherein
do we differ from the beasts OF the field
IL we do not think before we speak?"
He bit of the end OF the cigar, and
holding it between his teeth began TO
search his pockets. As be did so his
face became exceedingly thoughtful.
As he thrust his hand into his pocket
he observed:
There. I've left my portemonnaie at
home on the piano. The death OF Walt
Whitman has completely unsettled me.
What a loss the American people has
sustained in-Ah, there Is nickel, and
putting down the coin and lighting his
cigar. Hostetter simply drifted out the
door.
The female tobacconist looked after
him a moment, and then called out:
"You are going In the wrong direc-
ton"
How SOP" asked Hostetter, In a sur
prised tone OF voice.
"You ought TO go out that way, In the
direction OF the BIoomingdale Asylum.
where you belong"
y>es>es4ss&sessesS
WORTH A GUINEA z BOX"
ecosa-ed With TasfeIess anf Soluble coasin1.