The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-11-24
FUN IN BATTLE.
Eli Perkins Tells Some Good Stories of the
War.

Eli Perkins Tells Some Good Stories of the
Humorous things were always occurring on
the battlefield said Eli Perkins Major Lam
dom in his Milwaukee Soldiers Home lecture.
At Malvern Hill Confederate Colonel ran
ahead of his regiment, and. discovering his
men were Eot following him, uttered fierce
oath and exclaimed:
Come on! Do you want to live forever"
The appeal was irresistible, for many poor
fellow who had laughed at the Coloncl's queer
exhortation laid down his life soon after.
One of our brave men, Jim Stillman, was
badly wounded in the Chantilly fight which
killed Phil Kearny. The next day we took
Jim, who was good Christian, to the Wash
ington Hospital, where he eventually died.
After his death our Chaplain, who knew Jim
was devout Christian, went over to the hos
pital to hear about his last hours.
So Stillman is dead +" he said to the good
natured English nurse. II should SO like to
have spoken to him once more to s00the his
dying moments. Did he die happily?"
20, yes" said the unIegenerate nurse. +" l
soothed his Last moments as best could my
self~
What did you say to him?" asked the
Chaplain. fge
10, talked very soothing to him." ea4.s
az i'm seq l. you're mortal bad. pst~ p :
"'I am sez e. a1s@1 1'.d
"'Jim.' sez /, Il don't think you'll get better
"'No,' seq o.
"'Jim,' sez ], you're going fast
"'Yes, SEE e.
"'Jim.' seq /, Il don't think soldiers can 'ope
to 60 to 'eaven.'
=" Do you think SOP SEE e.
"'Perhaps, JIM sez l, you may go to ELL
90 Perhaps SO, sez'e.
"'Jim,' sez |, 'you ought to be very CRATE
full as there's q place provided for you, aud
that you've got somewhere to 60 to. and /
think e 'eard me, sir, and then @ smiled aud
died.
This" said Mr.. Perkins, reminds me of
the experience Of Chaplain Twitchell, of the
5tn Conn. Chaplain Twitchcll is now Mark
Twain's clergyman, and they say, does good
deal of the humorist's thinking. There was
in my regiment says Twitchell, a splendid
soldier by the name of Corporal Jones. The
Corporal fought himself down to a skeleton,
and finally went to the hospital. On recover.
ing from his dangerous sickness / felt it my
duty to have serious pastoral talk with him,
and while he convalesced / watched for an
opportunity for it. As / sat one day on the
side of his bed in the hospital tent chatting
with him, he asked me what the Spring cam
paign was going TO be. l told him l didn't
know.
"Well,' said he, 4 suppose that General Nc
Clellan knows all about it,
OeutTal MctIeiiah, salu 4, mas his piaHsJ
of course, but he doesn't know. Things may
not turn out as he expects
But said the Corporal, President Lincoln
knows, doesn't he?
mo said, he doesn't know, either. He
has his ideas but he can't see ahead any more
than Gen. Mcclellan can
"'D Dear me- said the Corporal it would be a
great comfort if there somebody that did
know these things and / saw my chance.
." True, Corporal l observed, that's very
natural feeling; and the blessed fact is, there
is One who does know everything, both past
and future. about you and me, and about this
army; who knows when We are going to move,
and where to, and what's going to happen !;
knows the whole thing
co. says the Corporal, you mean old
Scott -"