The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-07-29

proceed to kill off the little wretches
with condensed butter-milk, without
which many of them would grow up to
perfect hoodlumhoOd. Heaven help the
poor when the fashionable rich start
after their stomachs!
-
Great men come and go. Now they
are high in Office, tomorrow "none so
poor as to do them reverence" Not 80
with Russ Harrison. For four long
years he has held on to bis shovel-cat
Officiousness and his bIue-cat mouth
and brains; and no one has ever been
able to take from him the proud and
titled honor that he is the son of his
own daddy.
*#*
'Matt Quay is a clean man and a
coming Republican"-Davenport Re-
publican.
Clean? Clean7 And coming? Coming
this way? If so tor goodness sake let
him bring some assafptida with him.
This country has enough microbes
without him.
"Now for a hot campaign has been
the rallying cry of leading Republican
organs i'll this city, says the New York
World of the I'D. Great Scott! did they
start this hot wave, too? Surely hades
is their native element.
-
"rhe Republican party is not destined
to die natural death yet."-Philadel
phia American. No, not natural
death. We have got an iron bridge
and rope waiting tor them when they
come this way this fall.
-
Gen. Weaver is the old fellow who,
while provost man shall down in Giles,
used to catch up old men, too old to
fight, and incarcerate them in Jail to be
redeemed with heavy ransom. The sons
of such men live in Columbia to-day,
and can prove it, A christian states
men indeed! He is fit for only one place
and not worth the room in that when
he dies.
There are said 10 be thirty-tive
college graduates on the staff of the n
Y. Sun, says an exchange. Thanks,
neighbor; we now know why we can't
always understand it.
-
The meanest man III Columbia was
the one, who, when his neighbor sent
him word to please poison his dog, as he
barked all night; replied that he
would if his neighbor would poison his
daughter or burn her piano. A fair set
off, yet both are still bowling.
~
mature, impartial in her ends,
Wnen she made man the strongest.
In justice then to make amends,
Made woman's tongue the longest"
Like the flash of a sun-ray ON a dreary,
rainy day, are the words of cheer from a
sympathizing friend to the tired brain
VOL er.
"UncIe John,' said four year old Willie
as he watched funeraI procession go
down the pike, "whose going to bury
the last MANI" We took down Web
ster's dictionary to see, but haven't found
the answer yet. What staggering ques-
tiOns a chap can ask!
-
There is a good deal of truth in
Goethes remark that men are so consti-
tuted that everybody undertakes what
he sees another successful in, whether
he can do it or not.
-
"Kolb is running fine in Alabama"
saws that cymling-headed freak called
the "boy orator"
We will admit that undoubtedly he
is; but he is the last hound in the pack,
has his tail between his legs, his bris-
ties up to conceal his cowardice, his
ears laid back and is going towards his
masters home at a Salvador lope, while
an old she-bear and two yearling cubs
behind him are furnishing him his
nerve action. If the log over the big
creek is still in its place he'll soon be
over on the other side and will manage
to get the twist out of his tail and the
one idea of running out of his head.
Oh, yes, he's running fine"
~
every one complains of his memory,
but no one of his Judgment" says a
"ElJSl Win ~ ~ AOhSS
we write all of this explanation to save
our readers the trouble of spelling it
out, and being a good deal longer than
our remarks in the same since we left
the dash after the last quotation marks.
Here is his name; see if we are not cor
rect: La ROchefOWcdULd.
-
Success lies in character. The day
that one is more true, more sympa-
thetic, more generous, more kind and
thoughtful than on preceding days is
the day that he is successful He may
give rather than gain, he may do his
aims, material or spiritual, so far from
the sight of men that only the Father
who seeth in secret shall ever know of
his impulse or his work; but In every
and permanent aspect this IN
the day of his success, this is the day Of
his r9al advancement In lifo.-Lillian
Whiting.
-.
Fashion II quHer thing. An ideal
resort for it would DO place whore you
had toialesp under blanket Ia August
while January you could quietly
walk -, la the only garment OF
.a.S.ay y pofssat-sod