The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1892-09-22

IF poor relatives had their way
they would not have any rich uncies
very Ions. Dallas News.
THE man who crooks the elbow
habitually is the same feIlo" VINO
takes it straight. Boston Courier
"WuERE did Bright spend his nom
ev-moon:" honeymoon, you mean'
he married SO. 900, 600. Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
THE recent activity in the comet
market makes it appear that the as
stronomers' business is looking up
Buffalo Express.
The college commencement season
is a time when the happy senior IS Id
excellent spirits and often vice versa
-Elmira Gazette.
FAIR AMATEUR-"Yes, [ painted
this What school of painting would
YOU call it?" Artist gently
"Boarding school," - New York
Weekly.
CORBETT has been examined by a
doctor and pronounced perfect. LII
now seems assured that he and John
l.. will whip each other.-ColumDus
Post.
WHEN the druggists clerk is treat
ing his best girl to soda he is apt TO
forget to put cents in the till. for ne
is engaged in syruptitious business =
Boston Transcript.
WOULDN'T the impecunious young
man be happy during ice-cream season
if the girls mouths were no bigger
than fashion-plate makes them APP
pear?-Bradford Era.
THE man who devotes too much
time to trying to see both sides OF
subject is in danger Of contracting a
mental strabsmus that will prevent
his seeing anything clearly. Wash
ington Star.
ais SMITHINs a smart lawyer"
Every. Man went to him with
case involving $50. Said he was
willing to spend 81, 500 to get it back
Smithins made him out bill right
Off for 81 $50. "--Brooklyn Life.
THERE is a good brother in Topeka
who is such a Sabbatarian that he
won't ride in the street cars on Sun
day, and he is so close-tlSted that he
won't ide in them other days, so he
walks all the time Topeka Journal.
HUNKERs INJUDICIoUs REMARK.
-Gazzam-"That was bad slip of
the tongue on Hunker's part" Mad
doX-"Ies, he had just eaten
banana. Puck.
"Is BRONSON as forgetful as ever?"
"More so. Why, that fellow has to
look himself up in the directory every
night before he goes home from bust
ness Forgets his address. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
ToM-"Jcssie has something of the
military air about her" Jack
Never noticed it. WHAT" Tom
The agility with which she flies to
arms. New York Herald.
EVERY man who takes part in your
procession expects in return that you
viii some day blow horn in the band
in his Observation-Disclosures Globe.
SOMETIMES a man is justified in
feeling that "the most unkindeSt cut
Of all" applies to the picture Of him
that appeared in the newspaper
Washington Star.
FATHER-That cat made an awful
noise in the back garden last night.
Arnold-Yes, father; / think that
since he ate the canary he thinks he
can sing. -TidBits.
Pearl-Does he love you? Madge
I'm sure he does; | spilled some
strawberry ice-cream over his new
lavender trousers the other night, and
he never said even Great Caesar
Brooklyn Eagle.
"RUN for de doctor, quick! Help!
help! Dot baby has swallowed a
nickel" exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg.
"Mein Colt. you make so much fuss
as if 1t vas $50 gold piece, Repec-
Ca" replied Moses. Texas Siftings.
THAT was great downfall" said
the barber when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip.-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
This is an application Tor relief"
as the man said when he stuck the
porous plaster on his pain. -Phila-
delphia Record.
The sphere of woman may indeed
be boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed wire
tence.-RamS Horn.
SATAN-"Did you torture him
well?" Asmodeus-"Yes." Satan
What did you do?" Asmodeus-"I
asked him if it was hot enough for
him.