davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
AMERICAN GAYETY.
Mirth and Light-Heartedness Are NJ
tional Characteristic.

Mirth and Observation-Disclosures Are Ma.
tional Characteristic.
The older nations are sad and weary.
We are young, and can afford to laugh.
England always took her pleasure sadly,
and France has long since become trag.
ic; but on this side the Atlantic the Sc.
cret of gayety lives and thrives. A re-
cent visitor to our shores has said:
Nothing impressed me more than the
buoyancy and light-heartedness of the
people" The stimulating atmosphere,
the sense of boundless future, the
throb and thrill of unresisting progress,
are all contained in American humor.
It is not the laughter of fools. On the
contrary, it is the result of peculiar
intellectual shrewdness. It is not con-
fined to a class or series of classes; it
is a common heritage. When man
can jest at defeat and make epigrams
in disaster, he surely is the most genial
of creatures; and the American can do
this, and does.
This freshness of laughter has bub.
bled up considerable in our litera ture.
Europeans dispute all national traits
except the humorous. That is beyond
dispute. Mark Twain, Artemus Ward,
Brete Hartc and James Russell Lowell
are the acknowledged leaders of dry,
exaggerated drollery and refined caus-
tic wit. This same Englishman we
quoted above, goes on to say: Every
one met had an eye for the ludicrous
side of everything" Grave divines,
such as Ward Beecher and Bishop Peck,
were no exception to the rule, and the
stories told of the latter are so excel
lent that one should not be omitted.
The bishop was man of immense
girth and equal voracity. In one great
conference he came to represent the
west, and began his speech by uncon-
sciously placing his hands over the re-
gion where he most abounded, and say
ing very dramatically: Brethren, the
Pacific slope greets you.''
We can vouch for this upon personal
experience, that '.funniosities'' which
have passed into our common speech
are most amusing to eastern ears, pro-
vocative Of endless laughter.
The habit must be guarded, as must
all others, but one can not but rejoice
in the wise mirth which helps men and
women on the other side to appreciate
our national life and manners more
-highly.-N. Y. Ledger.
This Is It's Shape. Young Mr.. Dol
ley Speaking of ties, Miss Amy, what
is the shape of the marriage tie? Miss
AMY think it must be in the form OF
a true-lover's knot, Mr.. Dolley. De
troit Free Press,
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

The embezzlements of the present year
to date amount to the large sum of So
s95,Sl4. At first sight this would seem
TO indicate a general disregard of all
the canons of honesty and serious
trend of this old world into the ways of
evil. But the cloud has it's silver lin
ing. AS an Offset to this financial de-
pravity the donations of generous peo-
pie to charities of various kinds, in
sums not less than $4,000, amount to
date to $12, $50, 500. Thus philanthropy
travels four times faster than rascaIity.
1t is not such bad world after all.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

JAMES COPE, of Martins Ferry, O.,
has an almanac for the year 1869. 1t is
substantially bound in leather and in
cludes memoranda pages, and was used
by the owner of that day in keeping his
personal accounts. 1t contains no
patent medicine testimonials, nor was
it medium for working off jokes. The
printing is in colors-red and black
and is remarkably well preserved. The
book was printed in England, and the
writing is as legible as the day it was
nepnad
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
The New. Briefiv statea.

Pierre, Morrison county, has com.
pleted a village hall at cost of 5000.
Commencement exercises of Pillsbury
academy took place at the auditorium
In Owatonna. There were twenty.
three graduates in the class.
A big steamboat is to be put on Big
Stone lake, and navigation will be re.
aewed after many years. The big wet
season has filled the lake with naviga.
Die water.
The 7-year-old daughter of Andrew
Januszewski, of Winona, who disap.
peared several days ago, was found at
The home of Peter Mclaughlin, miles
west of Winona.
Lots Of Minnesota people who went
20 Washington state last year are COM
ing back.
The Meeker County Agricultural so.
,iety will hold the annual fair Septem-
Der Is, 16 and II.
A new town to be called Virginia will
be laid out Immediately - miles west
IF Merritt on the Mesaba ran &c.
A monument erected to the memory
Of the deceased soldiers of Carver coun-
ty was unveiled at Waconia.
Jonas Sundfors, who went to Sweden
from Wilmar two years ago, is coming
back to that place with seventy five
Swedish immigrants, many of whom
will settle in the vicinity of Wil1mar.
George Hanson, a young man living
in Havelock, accidentally shot and
killed his aged mother with musket.
The grasshopper scarehas been again
raised in Polk county. Word has been
received that they are Matching out in
great numbers near Fertile, in the
southeastern part of the county.
The Minnesota State Medical associa-
ton held its twenty fourth annual ses-
sion in the senate chamber of the state
capitol. ~
Patrick Griffin, who was indicted at
st. Paul for the murder of Louis Boder,.
but from whom a plea of guilty of
manslaughter in the first degree was
accepted, was sentenced to imprison-
.ment for eleven years in the state
prison.
w. w. Blackshav, pro orietor Of the
Vienna bakery, left Duluth, taking his
books with him, and creditors to the
amount Of 5000 were mourning his
sudden departure. The assets left in
the bakery were small.
John Jacob Arola was committed to
the hospital for the insane at Fergus
Falls. He is the fourth member of the
family who has gone crazy.
John sills, a resident of Spring Val
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

A RELAY bicycle ride from New York
to Boston was completed in fourteen
hours tifty-one minutes, or two hours
thirty nine minutes ahead of scheduled
time. The whole distance covered was
2544 miles, and, barring one or two
falls, nothing occurred to occasion any
delay on the route. The riders left
New York at 8 a. m, bearing sealed
letter from Postmaster Van Colt to
Postmaster Hart of Boston, and at 5:51
the letter was delivered to Postmaster
Hart
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

For a city suddenly to find itself in
another state without being removed
is a new municipal experience. 1t is
now said that the boundary line be-
tween Idaho and Washington is 80
miles farther west than was supposed,
SO that Spokane, with it's $4,000 inhab-
itants, and a thickly settled strip of ter
ritory are added to Idaho
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

The Milling World denies the report
that during the last year eight hundred
mills valued at SIG, 900, 900 were burned.
1t says a correct record of mill fires
kept in his office shows two hundred
and eighty-five mills burned in this
country, valued at little over So, OOO,-
900. During the same year there were
ninetythree failures and four hundred
and thirty-nine new mills
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

''CHINA for the Chinese is the motto
of the Ka-lo-ho society of China, the
membership of which is numbered by
millions. The society is secret. 1t has
mysterious rites and symbols, and it
issues DEGREES and intiicts punishments.
One Of its main objects is to prevent
foreigners from living in the celestial
empire and another is to dethrone the
present Tartar emperor and restore
the ancient Ming dynasty.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

A sTOREKEEPER in Maine deals in dry
and fancy goods, boots and shoes, gro
ceries, grain, feed, croclSery and hard
ware; he keeps the post Office, is JUS
tice of the peace, is conveyancer:
agent of an insurance company; he
runs a set of hay scales; he has slice
cool soda and other cool drinks" has
famous ten and five cent cigars; is agent
for very loud fertilizer, and furnishes
aristocratic eggs for putting under aris-
tOcratic hens
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

The absolute and final figures of the
population Of the United States, accord
ing to the eleventh census, were made
public last week. The final total, in
Guiding Alaska and the Indians on
reservations, is 62,979. 766 Jot the fig
ures down in your memory as $4,000, 900
in round numbers
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
THAT HYENA. ROAST.
Al Ready For the Judge, hut tho Lans
lord Got Left 55

lord Got Left.
AS we drove along over a South Caro-
lima highway we encountered a circus
menagerie on the move and when clea,
i OF 1t we came upon a dozen men stand.
ing around the dead body of a hyena
The animal had died in his cage and
had been hauled out on the ground. He
was old and faded and his fur rubbed
off in spots and the circus people de.
cided that the pelt was not worth
taking. The party was about to move
on, when up rode the proprietor of
county hotel about four miles farther
down the road.
Look here, gentlemen" he said,
when the incident had been explained
to him, would yo' hev any objections
to my cuttin' off a hind quarter Of that
hyena and tallin' it home?"
"Of course not, but what can you
want of it?'
Wall, Jedge Ridley, of this circuit.
will be along to-day and he will stop
with me for dinner. The jedge is a
might odd man. He'll ride up to the
hoss-block about half past II O'Clock
Ind sing out:
Hello, the tavern!
"'Wall, jedge, glad to see yo'.'
Kin I hev dinner?'
of co'se.'
Kin hev roast hyena for dinner?
Yo' kin. Git right down and come
n. was expectin' yo' and I've got the
incest piece of hyena yo' ever did put
Vo'r tooth into in all yo'r bon days.
That's what want hind quarter
FUR" continued the landlord ''The
ledge is odd and want to please him. )"
He was told to take the whole body
if he wanted it, but he contented him
self with quarter, and was in happy
frame of mind as he rode on with us.
We were booked to stop at his place for
dinner, and we got around there just
before the judge and his white mule
came into view down the dusty road.
All were anxiously awaiting when his
honor rode up at a jog trot, stopped at
the horse-block and called out:
Hello, the tavern!'
Hello, ledger replied the landlord,
rs he stepped out into view.
s'Kin have dinner yere?"
''Of co'se yo' kim
''I'm powerful hungry"
"Glad to hear it, jedge-glad to hear
t. .
And I'm sorter pertickler about my
satin'.'
eyes, l know
''I've got my mind made up fur.
tur-''
Reckon yo' hev', judge, an yo' won't
be disappointed, put in the landlord as
ne grinned and rubbed his hands at the
thought Of the roast hyena back in the
Kitchen.
'As was sayin','' continued his hon
,r, as he slowly dismounted, ''I've had
ny mind made up for some rhinoceros
pot pie and bein' as you've got it,
guess I'll stop with yo' while the mewl
;akes a rest"
We tried to argue the landlord into
The belief that life was worth the liv-
ng but it couldn't be done. He sat
Town and beckoned for death to come
Ind strangle him. Philadelphia Press.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Shot While Asleep.

Fred Langerman and wife, of Rush
City, after putting their children, three
little boys, to bed and locking the
house went to the brickyard, some 9
miles from town. On returning they
found that one of the boys, Henry, a
lad of s, had been shot while lying in
bed asleep. The other children heard
The discharge of the gun but saw no
one about.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

The North China News says that all
the recent outbreaks against foreign
ers have been instigated by the govern
ment, and that the officials are willing
and anxious to have foreign govern
ments strike back. 1t is a well-planned
movement to drive foreigners out of the
country
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Killed by Lightning.

Miss Marion Coon, of Eyota, during a
storm in Rochester, was struck by
lightning and instantly killed, the
corpse being entirely black. Miss
Teller and Thomas Cummings were
rendered totally insensible, their
clothing being torn and their bodies
burned by the same stroke. The same
bolt killed Nils Christensen, of Rock
Dell, and knocked down Mayor
Witheratim
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Earning Her Own Living.

Miss Lamprecht, daughter of a well
known local merchant at Winona, who
was supposed to have eloped to West
Superior with a former clerk of her
father, Davishammer by name, was
found working as domestic in the
family of Editor johnson of the Winona
Herald. No cause was known for her
strange conduct.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
storm In Rock County.

The worst storm ever known there
passed over Rock county. A tremen-
aous amount of hail fell and all crops
in it's path were destroyed. Mrs. Ole
Nelson was instantly killed by house
.ollapsing and two children were in
jured, one of whom died. Several
houses and barns were raised from the
ground and a great deal of other dam,
age was done.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
The State Reformatorx.

The managers of the state reform
atory have submitted their annual re-
port to the governor. In the fnan-
cial statement the following figures
are found:
The production raised on the farm and garden
amounted to S., 554.77; expended for fertilizers,
Gl1.S4; for garden seeds, s2439S paid for thresh.
ng, 1896; for Irvine, $l640; for paris green,
y. 10; for pigs, $780, making total outlay of
s54452. Deduct this from the total amount Of
produce and it leaves s3,O1O.24 The inmates
performed 300 days work on the farm and gar
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
WEST AND SOUTH.

WEST AND SOUTH.
In the Eighteenth district of Illinois
the prohibitionists have nominated Rev.
D. e. Ray for congress. In the First
Nebraska district the democrats re-
nominated w. J. Bryan.
TRAINS collided near Saltwater,
Mimi, and James E. Stenson was
killed and several other persons were
injured.
HIGHwAYMEN robbed George William
Geltmaker, of Louisville, KY, of So
500.
GEORGE and Jake Goodwallis and Ed
Bardemaker were drowned in Barren
river at Bowling Green, KY, while
bathing.
CONGRESSIONAL nominations were
made as follows: Kansas, Fifth dis
trict, j. r. Burton (rep.); Texas, Tenth
district, Joseph D. Sayers (dem.) re-
nominated; Minnesota, Seventh district,
e. Boon peoples party.
The vault of the Bank of Kilbourn at
Kilbourn City, Wis, was robbed of
about S., OOO
The peoples party of Missouri in
convention at Sedalia nominated a full
state ticket with Leverett Leonard, of
Saline county, for governor.
In the second days proceedings of
the democratic national convention at
Chicago on the 22d W. L. Wilson, of
West Virginia, was made permanent
chairman. After his address new ma
tional committee was chosen. The plat
form adopted demands tariff and civil
service reform, restricted immigration,
favors pensions for soldiers, denounces
the Mckinley law and favors the coin
age of both gold and silver without
discriminating against either metal.
The convention remained in session
until 800 a. m. on the 23d, when, on the
first ballot, Grover Cleveland was nomi-
mated for president The ballot re-
suited as follows: Cleveland. $685.
Hill, 112; Boies, 1903; German, 361 Car
Isle, Is; Morrison, 5; Campbell, 2; Whit
ney, 1; Russell, !.
AT Lincoln, ILL.,, wind and rainstorm
did damage to the extent Of 500, 600,
and Cornelius Hoagland and Albert and
Robert Russell were killed by lightning.
The founder of the Pacific Garden
mission in Chicago, Col. George r.
Clarke. died at his home at Morgan
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

ITO MAKE Il friend of an enemy"
says the Dallas (Tex.) News, TASK his
advice To make an enemy of a
friend, give him advice. 1t is poor
maxim that can't be made to stand
either end upward.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

In San Francisco there is an earth
quake-proof hotel. 1t is constructed of
iron and in the form of two hollow
squares, one within the other, arranged
so as to brace each other.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
ONE ENJOYS

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup Of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectual!y, dispels colds, head
aches aud fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs is the
only remedy Of it's kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in.
It's action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend It
;to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale IN 6Oc
and 81 bottles BY all leading drug.
gists. Any reliable druggist who
nav not have it on hand will pro
cure It promptly for any one who
wishes to try il Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA re SXRUP go.
sA1. fRANoteo0. Oh:
loVyeklklE. Xxx. NEiv Y06ks !. u
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
ovERRUN BY GoPHERs.
Dakota Farmers Suffer. Great Inconve-

Dakota Farmers Suffer Great Inconve-l-
ience from the Pests.
SANBoRN, n. D., June x The gopher
plague is becoming a serious one. Hun
dreds of the little rodents are. making
inroads on Barnes county wheat fields,
and if their career is not checked they
are likely to cause serious damage I )
the growing crops. The determination
of gophers has been generally neglected
during the past few years, and now a
serious problem confrohts farmers
how to thoroughly rid their fields of
the pests which cause so much damage
The county furnishes poison free Of
charge to all farmers wishing it.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

A MAN who has had a long experience
in marriage gives st. Louis paper
some advice to young men about max
ing proposals. The method he en-
ployed was to kneel at the feet of his
adored, and, with eyes dimlned with
tears, entreat her to marry him. Dur
ing forty years of welded life he has
had this little episode recalled nearly
every day. He has become tired of be-
ing reminded constantly of his fault,
but his spouse appears to enjoy refer
ring to it better as the years pass by.
Now this husband should consider that
it gives pleasure to his wife, and not re-
greet what affords her such enjoyment.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

ONE of the keepers of the Philade,-
phia ZOO says that all elephant will
tremble with fear at the sight of a
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Cl,holera,s Spread.

ST. PETERSBURG, June ~. The gov-
5ernor of Samarcand warns travellers Of
an outbreak Of cholera in that city.
LoNDoN, June s2255 - "a st. Petersburg
dispatch to the Times says the cholera
epidemic in central Asia threatens to
spread rapidly.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Death Of Turfman IS. Is. He'll

LEXINGTON, KY, june ~ ID d.,
Bell, well known in every city where
thoroughSreds are raced died here
Sunday afternoon, aged As, of paralysis
He was great promoter OF. turf sports
and bred and owned a number Of win.
9.eers. He was very wealthy. s
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
THE EAST.

IN Allegheny City, Pa, Emil West
killed Miss Hattie Buttress because she
refused to marry him, and then took
his own life.
GEORGE FISHER killed John Washing
ton. whom he found in his wife's room
at Ashley, Pa, and then fatally wound
ed his wife.
ALLEY Bros. & PLACE, one of the
largest leather firms at Boston, failed
one year ago with liabilities of $780,
900. They have settled with all their
creditors at 100 cents on the dollar,
with six per cent. interest.
IN New York John Mason, ieweler
and silversmlth, failed for 5000, 900.
In convention at Portland the re-
publicans of Maine nominated Henry b.
Cleavs, of that city, for governor. The
platform Endorses the denomination of
President Harrison. Electors were
chosen and a resolution was adopted
expressing sympathy with James G.
Blaine and his family on the death of
Emmons Blaine
A SHORTAGE of S32, 900 was found in
the accounts of e. S. Damn, secretary
and cashier of the National savings
bank at Buffalo, N. Y.
BY the will of her affianced husband,
Mr. Hartwell, of Hartford, who recent
ly died, Gertrude Bliss, daughter of
Mrs. S. II. Bliss, of Worcester, Mass,
has fallen heir to $6,OOG,o0O
The republicans of Vermont met in
state convention at Burlington and
nominated full ticket, with Levi X.
Fuller for governor
FIRE among business houses at At
lantic City, N. j., caused loss of 81 50,-
900.
WHILE insane Melvin Let's shot and
killed his sister-in-law, Miss Kate
Swart, and then shot himself to death
at Cobleskill, N. Y.
AT Harrisburg, Pa, the second sec
ton of the western express on the
Pennsylvania railroad crashed into the
first section and thirteen persons were
killed and forty injured.
IN Brooklyn the seventy ninth ami
versary of the birth of Henry Ward
Beecher was observed and the grave of
the great preacher in Greenwood was
decked with flowers.
In Pittsburgh Charles Privot and his
wife were burned to death while start
ing a fire with kerosene, and two chill
dren of Mrs. Wolfowslxi lost their lives
in the same manner.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Whittier will Write the Poem.

AaIEsBURY, Mass, June 27.It is now
settled fact that the Poet Whittier
will write the opening ode for the
worlds fair at Chicago When the.
matter was first preached to the poet
he was unable to give definite an
swer, but improved health will allow
him to doso. The title is still a secret.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

The late DR.. Henry +. Formal, of
Philadelphia, conducted over 10000
post-mortem examinations, but not
until late in his career did he ever get
badly poisoned thereby. He was one
Of the best known experts in micro
scopy, study which he had much to
do in introducing into American COL
leges. He was Russian by birth, and
his own and his fathers Roumanian
estates were confscated. The doctor
himself got into some political trouble
and was sentenced to death. But he
escaped and came to the United States in
1875. He then began his medical studies
In the university Of Pennsylvania
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30

THREE THOUSAND deaths from cholera
have occurred thus far at Serinagur. in
the vale of Cashmere. The city, which
is the capital of a district of the same
name, contains a population of about
10000, and hence 5000 deaths means
one out Of every twenty inhabitants.
This is, OF course, frightful mortal
ity; but cholera seldom does things by
halves in India. The wretched SAM
tary condition Of many Indian towns,
the ignorance and poverty of the lower
classes, the lack of physicians worthy
OF the name, and a hot, moist CHM ate,
all favor the spread of the disease, and
make it the scourge of the country.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1892-06-30
Won the Derby,

CHICAGO, June q. he ninth Ameri-
can Derby was run at Washing ton park
on Saturday in the presence Of $4,000
persons Carlsbad, ridden by Williams,
won, with Zaldivar second and Cicero
third; time, 1904 u.