Connecticut western news., 1892-08-04
THE CHAMPION MEAN MAN.
A Swell han Who Bought a Half Ton o
 Coal and Had 1t Put In.

A Swell Man Who Bought H alf Ton of
 Coal and Had 1t Put In.
 He was thoroughly mad man as he emerged from the basement entrance of @ stylish three story stone front house in one of the most fashionable residence districts in the city.
 He was coal heaver, or rather a coal butter in, and evidently @ good, hard working, industrious man, and his nut tering and grumbling as he passed me after leaving the house reused my curi- osity, so asked him what was the mat ter.
 The coal heaver let out few strong words by way of beginning and then re- lated the following tale of distress:
 "There's good dale the matter, said he vehemently. "The matter is that the man that would skin a flea for the hide was ginerous compared wid the turk that I've jusht been workin for. Phwhat do ye think he done? Ordhered half ton of coal an a man to put it in. We'll, was sint from the yard to do the job, an 1 kem up here all the way from - street and - avenue Ca distance of fully 21S miles, mostly up hilD, ready to do the work. There wasn't much doin round the yard today an was glad to get chance to make even fifteen cents.
 "Well, whin the cart arroived at the dure this ould yank kem out an sez he, Are you the man that's to put in the coalp' I am,' sez I. We'll sez he, 'go into the kitchen an fetch out a few pails of wather an sprinkle the coal be- fore it's dumped out av the cart niver heerd av such thing before, but wint in an carried out four pails O wather an threw it over the half ton O coal in the cart; thin he towld the dhriver to be very careful in dumpin it on the walk, and whin it was dumped | he med me bring out three more pails O wather to lay any dusht that might hap pen to be swimmin around in the wather I threw on 1t before, an thin I axed him had he e'er an empty barrel handy. I haven't sez he. 'Well,' sez I'll imply the ash barrel in the sthrest, and whin have the coal put in, l kin put the ashes back in it. Oh, no, you won't,' sez he. Well, I had to go over to some buildin's an borry barrel to put the coal in wid. While was putin 1t in the cellar he stood over me, watchin livery lump as I put it in the barrel, for fear I'd ate some of it, I suppose, but thank God, had me dinner at noon- time, an wasn't hungry.
 "When l had all the half ton O coal dumped in the cellar he med me bring the barrel down an move livery bit O the coal away over to the other side O the cellar, an thin l had to carry a lot more wather down an sprinkle it all over again, wid the ould gizabo stan'in over me all the toime. Begorra, twas enough | to discourage the coal from burnin at all, at all, havin so much cowld wather flung at it. Well, whin I had it all done to his moind he sez, 'Ye betther carry a few more pails O wather out an take a broom and clane up the muss ye med on the sidewalk l was gettin mad be this toime, bekase it was gettin late an was as long putin in the half ton for him as I'd be putin in three or four ton for any dacent person, but l carried out the wather an polished off the walk an the stones in the gutther, while he gev me more instructions than ye cud shake a
 
 "Thin, whin it was all over, sez to him, Well, I'd loike to have me pay for me work Oh sez he, I always pay at the yard for the putin in at the same toime as pay for the coal; yell get the fifteen cints at the office whin you go back We'll, whin he said that got so disgusted that left him widout sayin . word. Here 1t is half past on Sat urdsy night, an med very little today, an need that fifteen cents, but the yard is closed an can't get it till Monday morin, bad cess to the old skinfintp
 The tears were almost in the poor fel- lows eyes as he finished and l left him at the corner, and as thought over his misfortune the story of the man in Chi cago who is so mean that he uses wart on the back of his neck to save the ex- pense of collar button faded into in- significance alongside the true story of quintescent meanness.-Brooklyn Eagle. I