Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-10-06

on MS metal, as IT were. -Elmlfa
Gazette.
THE cross-eyed man has the best Of
it at a double-ring circus perform
ance.-Picayune.
THE COW sets us an admirable ex-
ample-she never blows her own horn.
-Yonkers Statesman.
A GOOSE farm has been started in
Alabama. 1t will be managed by d
Michigander. -Siftings.
IF man hasn't got barrel he
will have to be satisfied with bottle.
-Binghamton Republican.
A LICK in time sometimes disap-
points the town cow and saves the
shrubbery. News.
Il AM sorry" said one thermometer
to another, "but ! guess Wen have
to trot another heat. Washington
Star.
THE husband who anticipates
every want usually runs off to town
before his wife asks him for it.-Dal-
las News.
"WHEN it comes to making lining
for nest, softly quacked the elder
duck, "I've got it down fine. Chi
cagO Tribune.
A QUEER circumstance about some
poetry is that while it may have
plenty of feet it has no soul.-Phila-
delphia Times.
CAST your bread upon the water
and you will have chicken soup-such
as they advertise in free lunch. -EIa-
ZletOn Sentinel.
LOVES labor lOst-a second hus-
band going on time with his wife's .
first husbands insurance money
Cape Cod Item.
THAT was a false ALARM" as the
man on the yacht said when he
thought his wig had blown off
Philadelphia Record.
A MAN who had an untenanted
house at the end of the street was ac-
customed to refer to it as last but
not leased. -Binghamton Leader.
A PERSON who has summered in
the West cannot be made to believe
that fever and ague is no great
shakes.-Binghamton Republican.
If the orator is referred to as q
word painter, why not refer to a Ice
turer in a deaf and dumb institute as
sign painter? Yonkers Statesman.
"AH," she murmured as her father
hustled two would-be visitors from
the front door, Il think / hear the
rustling of the leaves. Washington
Star.
A CORRESPONDENT writes to know
what he ought to get for kicking
cows" We should say about year
if he does it ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
leader.
"a VERY unhealthy occupatiOn,~
remarked Brown, as looked upon the
brickmakers wading through the wet
clay. "Yes," remarked Black, cts
kilning work. Boston Transcript.
BoBBY-What makes Miss Foot
lights wear her earrings in the
water? Mamma (sayagely) - Her
sense Of propriety compels her to
wear Observation-Disclosures Weekly.
YABsLEY-Do they set pretty appe-
tizing meals at your house, Nudge?
Nudge = Appetizing? O, yes. A
fellow gets up hungrier than when
he sat acknowledgements Journal.
JASPER What did your Uncle Asa
say when he saw the decollete dress
es at your party? He never saw any
thing Of the sort before, did hep
Maud-No; all he said was, What
nex'?"-Brooklyn Life.
JAMIE had caught cold in some
way, and was very stiff in conse-
quence Il think when / had my
bath yesterday" he said, somebody
must have put starch in the water"
-Harper's Young People.
SHE observing that his arm has
stolen around her waist)--Jack, do
you think they can see Us from the
hotel? He-I don't know, dear, but
we can move nearer to the light il
you wish it.-New York Herald.
REPORTER Ito eyewitness They
say policeman was badly injured i'm
the fracas. Is that so? Mrs Elan
gan-Faith! young man, mebbe he
was. Ye can't tell nothin' about
thin internal Injuries. Art in AG-
YeTJlsIug.
LITTLE Tommy Whykins had heen
wrestling with a piece Of hardtac@.
Mamma, said he after a silence
What is it," IF poll parrots get aib
the crackers they ask for, ] dom
wonder they learn to swear. Wash
ington Star
CATKIS- What did You marry hol-
for if you intended to apply To- a.
vorce 50 soon? BdrloW->lle Threat
enea to sue NE fer So, Gee damage.
for breach Of promise. and I knew
could get a divorce 3 good dca! cheap.
CT tlllan that. truth