The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1892-07-16

MR.. eLAoLNER's MysTA,tE.

Being Generally Known - u Funnv
Man Doesn't PAY.
Mr.. Gladliver was employed a. a
writer on morning paper. Awhile
ago he became afflicted with the notion
that if he had half q chance he could
prepare some very funny stuff for road
ere to laugh over.
He told the editor Of the paper how
he felt about it. and said he thought IL
was a real shame for him to hide his
humorous light under bushel when be
should be scattering laughter about ihe
sanbeams to brighten the weary, care
worn souls around Mm. He was much
pleased when the editor told him TO pre-
pare a column for the Sunday paper,
and in . gleeful half hours work dashed
off q number of jokes he felt assured
were very clever.
It rs true his topics were not entirely
original, but that didn't matter to-Mr.
Gladliver One joke was about q cake
the wife baked, one about the hired
girl, one about the milkman. one about
the neighbor's piano, one about the
mother-in-law and one about the grasp
ing landlord and the rickety fat.
He was very proud of his work as q
humorist and signed his name to it with
q sense of expanding greatness The
column appeared in the Sunday morn
ing paper. Mr.. G., who was compelled
to remain at the Office till noon, expect
ed to find everybody in fit of laughter
when he reached home
His neighbor saw him coming down
the walk and went out and hailed him.
81 see by this mornings paper that
you have made some very sighting re-
marks about our piano and the manner
In which we play it. It's a hundred
times better than the old tin pan your
people pound seventeen hours day. If
it wasn't Sunday I'd teach you
But Mr.. G. escaped inside his own
door, where he ran against the hired girl
just leaving with large bundle.
"Oh, ye dirty sneak" said she, landing
a blow on his short ribs, I'm tache you
to SANDER worrukin girls!" and before
he could explain it was only joke she
had gone out into the cold world, he
knew not whittier.
The look his wife gave him rs be
opened the sitting room door fro0e his
marrow.
You've disgraced the family. shall
apply for divorce tomorrow, and poor,
dear ma, who has always stood ND for
you when no other self respecting person
could, is packing her trunks and will
leave in the morning. The hired girl
has gone, and the milkman left word
that he would sue you for injuring his
business by saying he sold more water
than milkr'
A ring at the bell cut short further re-
marks Mr.. e. opened the door, and
there stood the landlord with a glow on
his face that somewhat resembled pre-
mature explosion Of fireworks.
Its not the right thing to make a
business call Sunday, but saw your
scurrilous remarks in the paper and
warn you that You'll pay your three
months rent now overdue tomorrow
morning and quit my premises imme&-
ately, you ungrateful wretch"
When Mr.. Gladliver was able to leave
the county hospital he found himself
norose and melancholy man without q
friend on earth so far as he knew. He
is now living under an assumed name in
a cheap, half furnished room in an OBJ
scure part Of the city, and he is thor
oughly convinced he will never do any
thing more to brighten up this dresry
and unappreciative old world. Chicago
Times.