davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

THE formation of company to
displace the telephone girl and sup.
ply the aching void with a mechani-
cal device will not be received with
favor. 1t is true that in our mo-
ments of irritation we sometimes in
weigh against the maiden who calmly
asks "what NUMBER" after we have
shouted ourselves hoarse in the vain
effort to attract her attention; and it
is also true that she is occasionally
very trying on other accounts; but, on
the whole, bless her industrious soul!
she is an indispensable adjunct to the
telephone system, whose labors are
insuficiently compensated by the pay
she receives and the occasional
Christmas present. A mechanical
device, it is true, could not fiirt over
the wires:
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

IT'S strange that Cincinnati dia-
mond drummer would leave $4,000
worth Of rare stones and iewelry in
his valise aboard a train while he
lunched at IN adjacent restaurant.
Had he possessed their value in
money it would have been cunningly
concealed about his person, and he
wouldn't have had much appetite
anyhow until his wealth was safely
disposed Of.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

AFTER powder explosion in Cali.
fornia nothing was found Of China
man but his queue. And the ques-
ton now agitating the people of that
State Is, Did the Chinaman lose his
queue, or the queue lose a Chinaman?
The answer is awaited with interest.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

INTELLIGENCE is gaining ground
slowly but surely. A Michigan Judge
mas decided that common intelligence
and such information as comes from
reading newspapers does not unfit a
man for Jury duty.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

WITH wolves devouring children
within St. Paul's city limits, and
bears carrying off hunters to caves in
Pennsylvania, the man who signs now
with regret at the decadence Of the
good old times" must be put down
as an atrabilarious, hypochondriacal
Irs
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

THE United States Government is
now experimenting with unsinkabie
ships, but whether as means Of de-
feating the deadly aims Of hostile
gunners or guarding against the little
errors Of Annapolis graduates is not
snecif1ad
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

THE first victim Of the Broadway
cable in New York was the notorious
Freddy Gerhard, who caught the
wheel of his dogcart in the slot and
was overturned. If cable railways
prove fatal to persons of the Gebhald
stamp many of their evils will be
forgiven them.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

No MAN or woman was ever created
too good to do honest work, and those
who shirk their duty are only sowing
seeds of trouble. There is work to
do everywhere, in the office, on the
farm, in the store, on the ranch, at
the bank counter and in all depart
ments Of life. The true philosophy
and genuine happiness of life is only
found in doing honest work.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

DIR. KELLEY, the man who claims
that he can cure drunkenness, has
established a branch Of his institute
in Kansas. The experiment of pro-
viding an antidote for prohibition
whisky is certainly a reckless one,
and if it proves successful, the in
trepid inventor may yet have the
boldness to open an institute in
Kentucky.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

IT is sad to think Of rye having
gone ahead Of wheat in price, for the
incorrigible punster must have his
little joke about the grain market
going awry.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

TWAS in Michigan that family
discovered that scarlet fever had
taken hold Of the children. They
relied on the faith cure and neglected
20 call a physician; the health officer
slled in the undertaken.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

It is little odd that "an artificial
leg only lasts on an average seven
years." just the period that scientists
say all the particles Of the human
body change and are renewed.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

WASHINGTON may not be thought
of these times as much as he might
be, but the farmers and others as
they see the big crops can't help
thinking Of the fodder Of their
country.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
HE CAN'T SEE WHY HE SHOULD.

"Honor thy father and thy mother"
is commandment which sounds like hol-
low mockory to the boy who for no rca-
son except "discipline, is sent down to
the cellar to chop wood Just as the parade
is passing the house New York
Herald
HUMAN NATURE CROPS OFT.
"fhose two dogs across the street look
as if they We're spelling for fight. Who
owns them"'
The 'momgraI cur with the vicious look
belongs to Il neighbor Of mine The hand
some, intelligent looking animal belongs
to me. - New York Press
WEAVING A CHAIN.
Rosalie-Iiow is your new beau?
Grace-Oh, he promises we'll.
Resale (warningly-Get him to write
my dear, get him to write
THE MOON WAS WANING.
At different times Willie had been told
of the man in the moon, and that the
moon is green cheese. Putting the two
statements together, he exclaimed one
evening: The man in the moon must ba
very hungry these nights"
"Why, DEAR"
ole has eaten almost all the cheese"
THAT MATTER SETTLED.
"He called me the belle of the partv,'
said she,
"When oscorting me home yester-
night
"He did, said the other; "well, now |
can see
Why they claim that his mind isn't
right"
TINE TO REBEL.
Young Father-What on earth is the
baby yelling SO about now?
Young Mother (wearily1- Dear me,
don't know. Perhaps that new nurse is
singing Comrades" to him Good
News.
CRUEL.
Give seen very few birthdays yet, "
she laughed, airiIy.
"Ah, ~ said he, II understand Born
in leap year, on the 29th of February
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

EVERY man thinks that if his
neighbor could be in his shoes for a
few days, he would 60 back to his own
position contented for the rest Of his
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
St. Landry Democrat
by L A. sANDOZ.-
OpeIouSas. Louisiana.

SPEAKING of poet laureate for the
Worlds Fair, Colonel John A. Joyce
and the Sweet Singer Of Michigan
appear to have been overlooked.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
A Man of the WOrld-A Futile En-
periment-N0t the Office He
Wanted-Had Seen Better Days -
Often Longed For, Etc, Etc.
A MAN OF THE WORLD.

BeSgar-P!ease, sir, will ye lend me a
dime ter git somethin ter eat
Gentleman Y ou've got a quarter in
your hand now Whats that for?
Beggar-,That's ter tip tn waiter
New York Weekly.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
How to Eat an Egg.

Let the lover of good egg-the one
who can eat eggs every morning all the
year round, and who rejoices in the real
egg flavor stand the beloved article on
end in small egg-glass and then, ever
SO cautiously tap on the other end until
q hole is made Let him, still proceed
ing cautiously, take off the broken shell
until there is bare white surface eX-
posed about the size of a tive-cent piece.
Now, with an egg spoon or an after-din-
ner coffee spoon, puncture the surface OF
the egg, and, after dropping in piece
of butter about as large as q white bean,
let him chop up the entire egg until it
rests in its shell, all cut up and ready to
be eaten. 1t is still deliciously hot, and
has parted with none of its pristine love-
illness. just as soon as well prepared it
should be eaten, before it has had time to
cool. Those who eat eggs in this way
will testify to their glory, and chose who
do not take them thus would do we'll to
give them trial.-[St. Louis Republic.
JACK, the preachers horse, writes
correspondent from La Grange, Ga,
seems to be particularly fond of beef
tongue. Some time ago he bit off the
tongue of Rev w. f. nozi"r's nilch
cow; and only few da1 -, II al
most the same place and man s',s. ii II
off the tongue Of a yearling. Who has
horse that can beat this record.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
4 FUTILE EXPERIM ENT.

When [ proposed to her | thought |
would have the last word, and this is how
didn't get it:
After describing my condition and
prospects | said: "Will you have me?'
EYES, she said.
"Thauk you,' said I.
"Iou re welcome" said she.
'1ou are very kind to say so,' | said.
"Not at all, she answered.
81 am very grateful | added.
Don't mention it," she said
let it so at that. | saw it was no
use New York Press.
NOT THE OFFICE HE WANTED.
"What's the matter with Glumm these
days that he looks so sour?"
"Things have gone wrong with him
lately. He has been trying to get up q
benefit club for some time and it was or
gained the other night, and they made
him president
"Well, wasn't that what he wanted?"
"No, he wanted to be treasurer. -
New York Press.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
TINE TO REBEL.
CRU Ell.

Give seen very few birthdays yet, -
she laughed, airiIy.
"Ah,' said he, Il understand. Born
in leap year, on the 29th of February
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
WHEN SHE FOUND OUT.

Before they wed he used to rave
About her voice of bird-like pitch.
Twas soft and mellow then, you know,
For she still funcied he was rich;
But when she knew the truth of it,
That they must eat both soup and
bone,
She changed the pitch, and now she
talks
In rich and heavy dark brown tone.
i New York Herald.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

Little Terror-Mamma, Mr. Meek s
skin is as smooth as papas. No marks
on it at ALL
Mamma-Just hear the child, Mr..
Meeks. OF course there are no marks on
it, my pet.
Little Terror-But you said the hens
had been pecking him New York
Weekly.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27

Chappie latter receiving the bill of
fare from the waiter-Let us get out of
heah.
CholIie-What faw?
Chappie-This is a beastly low place.
ChoIlie-Iiow do you know?
Chappie-The bill of fa-ah is in Eng
lish, dontcherknow.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-27
HAD SEEN BETTER DAYS.

Mr.. Sellit-Well, Uncle Eph, how are
are gettin' along these days.
Uncle Eph-Oh, I'm gettin' along fine
It's a mighty poor day | don't make my
two or three dollars.
Mr.. Sellit-You must be gettin' rich.
'Spose you pay me that little bill you
owe me.
Uncle Eph--Well, you'll have to ex-
cuse me to-day Mr.. Sellit. You see, I've
been havin a lot of mighty poor days
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
nav YoRNs REApaAnIRS
The Three Test Cases q, ,n.a,,,-
lnnrl NJ a. -

The hhree Test ea-es 4 5of fnrnth- nr
Court OF A,<gin Tomor-
AIBANV Oct. 81 ,ftion-
ment cases in1yolvl6 ~ which be a Of che
consttutionality 8a,,,'.i,,,a, "n'v r;ionmons
law came up in ts ~, ~" '.,a.nnesppeals.
AR Sutherland oSe. Ior the contest
ants, making gentt argument to cover
the three cases FRheld that by the act
under consiera " representation was
unequal He held that Monroe county
was justly entitled TO four assemblymen.
whereas the act Of 1892 gave but three.
Albany county, with n population of 1856,
74S has four rassemblymen. Monroe's popu-
lation is lSl, ,239. Said Alr. Sutherland;
II the apportionment Of 1892 can be tolerated
by the courts nothing stands in the way OF
some future apportionment in response TO any
sudden wave or popular sentiment, which
would reduce the county Of New York 20 NJ.
teen members, give ten to the county OF Mon
roe md 1--WE 10 the county Of Erie, and II the
Thirteenth senatorial district may constitu-
uonally comprise more than tw'cs the number
of people in the Twelfth. then there Is norea'
son whvSp agricultural county may not havo
three Gators 10 every one given 10 New
York for the same numbev OF people
The next point urged was that IN. spe-
cial session at which {, apportionment
the return Of the enumeration contem.
plated by the constitution.
The Legislature which adjourned sine die
April 2i was the same legislature when 10
assembled April 25, and It's doinRs on both
dates We're the acts Of the Legislature at It's
1i5th session. The last point made was
that the apportionment Of 1892 was void
because not based on a census taken as the
constitution provides
Attorney General Rosendale in his reply
held that the constitutional provision for q
census every ten years was directory, no,
mandatory.
masmuch as the legislature of 1885 and
its successors had neglected to obey the
command of the constitution by the pas
sage of an enumeration law. it became the
duty Of the legislature of 1892 to conform
to the constitutional requirement and pass
the law.
As to the ''next session" point Mr.. Rosen-
field said the constitution was also merely
directory and said;
An act apporuoning members OF assembly
by the legislature Is not within the power OF
the judiciary 10 review. Resting, as the power
does, in legislative discretion, IL cannot be re.
viewed by the courts, except in cases Of fraud
and gross injustice. The courts cannot insti
tute an inquiry into facts to set aside law as
unconstitutional The court ought not to de
clare the act unconstitutional Only when re
quirod by the most cogent reasons, or indeed
unless compelled by manswerable grounds
viii a court declare statute TO be unconstitu
tionnl
IL is believed that the court will be ready
with an opinion by next Tuesday.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Profitable EAehanres.

Baltimore Sun.
The New York Times publishes a dis
patch from Chicago in which Il is stated
that Judge Walter Q. Gresham informed
its representative that he intended to
vote for the Cleveland and Stevenson
electoral ticket. The Judge declined to
give his reasons for the contemplated ac-
tion, but it IS said on recent visit to
indianapolis he was outspoken i'm his
condemnation Of the Mckinley tariff bill
Judge Gresham has been recognized as
one Of the ablest and most popular Re
publicans in the West He was pressed
10y friends for the presidency in 1888, and
in the national convention received III
votes ON the first ballot. This
year he was the choice of
the third party people for the
presidency, but declined 10 accept the
nomination. The Times also says there
is reliable authority for the statement
that Hon Wayne MacYeagh, of Pennsyl-
vania, Senator Don Camerons brother.
in-law, and Judge Thomas NJ Cooley, Of
Michigan, both distinguished Republi-
cans, viii soon make public in letters.
over their own signatures, the reasons
why they viii support Mr. Cleveland.
Against these notable accessiOns to the
democracy is TO be noted the report
that General Daniel r. SiclIles will
refuse TO support Mr.. Cleveland. Gen
eral Sickles was a member of the Chi.
cago convention, where he bitterly
opposed Mr.. Clevelauds nomination.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
REPUBLICAN RALLY IN GOTHAM.
Senator Hiscock and Congressman Bon
teiie Address "A Big Mass Meeting.

Senator Hiscoch and Congressman Hon
telie Address Big Mass Meeting.
NEW YORK, Oct 5.-Cooper union was
crowded last night with an enthusiastic
audience, the occasion being the Republi-
can mass meeting and the announced
speeches Of Senator Hiscock and Congress
man Boutelle The stage was filed with
representative Republicans John Sahin
Smith, chairman OF the campaign commit
tee of the Republican club. introduced
Senator Hiscock. whose appearance on the
platform was the signal for loud applause
The speaker told Of several instances
where he knew of Democratic statesmen
who were endeavoring TO hold back the
people TO keep them from progressing too
fast. lie considered the last two years
splendid vindication Of "that masterpiece
OF American legislation, the Mckinley
bill.' He referred TO the Republican vic
tory In Maine. and then spoke of the ship.
ping bills and the interest OF merchant ma.
rine. On this subject he talked for fully
twenty minutes, and closed by calling on
every man to do his duty at the polls next
election
At the conclusion Of Senator HiscoclS's
speech, Chairman Smith, in a neat speech
introduced Congressman Boutelle as tho
man AAoAi VIC 0ANtC WHICH llAQultQ ctltNc
men like James G. Blaine. The mention
of Blaines name created the widest en-
thusiasm Congressman Boutelle, after
telling little story Of Wendell Phillips,
said
What do you suppose Christopher Columbus
would think Of the Democratic partys III the
Democratic party had had their own way for
the past fifty years there is not man, woman
or child but who would be ashamed that C0lum-
bus ever discovered America. IL Is an annoying
fact that there Is Democratic party in the
United States. They can point to no great act
or achievement on their part that has helped
the country.
The congressman went on to say that all
the successes the Democracy had ever had
were the result Of false pretense and mis-
representation. 1t had fooled the peoplo
with ils war cries, and the Democracy had
always been ''long' on war cries.
The iamnnble iteration Of phrase brourh.
the Democracy success more than once Once
the CT was bleeding Kansas and il mad,
capital out OF that Then it took up 'blact
Republicans" and some timid members Of our
party were led away IL next raised the cry
''bloody shirt and then it started the 'enor
nous surplus" II 1920 the cry was "Czal
Reid and "billion dollar congress-" Thos,
cries are dead now. The Democratic congress
adopted all the Reed rules except the one tha
would enable IL to do business The "bilioi
dollar congfe fessn ceased 10 be talismanic epi
thet about the time that Brother Holman flg
urod up the expenditures Of the last congress
It is dead. A team Of wild horses could no
draw mild reference TO 1t from a Democrat
speaker
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
TELEeRAPHlc BREVrles.


Ed Winkley, a Wyoming outlaw, was
shot dead by police.
Joe Barco, who murdered Mrs. Frank
Sandcrlin, was lynched at Camden, n. G.
The third annual convention Of the State
Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty TO
Animals and Children was held in Buffalo.
The triennial convention Of the Protest
ant Episcopal church opened in Baltimore
today.
A. Stanley Pinhon, wealthy stock
rancher in the Mcleod district Winnipeg,
Man, was found shot dead in bed.
The Spokane Indians will not accept tho
offer of the government to furnish them
with houses, schools and mills on the Cuur
d'Alene reservation.
An accident occurred on tho Northern
Pacific near Northtown Junction, MINI.
resulting in the death of Fireman IL. Buell.
and injuries 20 A. IL. Burr, st, Paul; NJ
Grant, ST. Paul; A. Myer. Rush tfty; 's.,r' ii
Watteron, Minneapolis T. b. Werner
newsboy.
Pastor Frederick Breugst, OF Goerlitz
has been sentenced to two years imprison
ment for having embezzled church funds
intrusted to him for administration.
Herr Nepolski, chief engineer in Altoona
Prussia, has been arrested for forgery and
for defrauding the city by the appropria
tion Of municipal funds TO his own use
Count Kalnoky, the imperial prime min
lister, has promised to insert in the next
budget credits for the establishment OF
Austrian consulates in the various Amer
lean cities.
The conference Of the Railway Servants
union, of London, rejected by vote of A.
to Is resolution in favor Of the eight hour
day. The union indorsed agitation in favor
Of the ten hour day.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05

that Associate Judge Charles r Andrews
(Rep.l win be the man. Chairman Brook
field sent out a call for the Republican
state committee to meet in this city Oct. II
20 nominate q candidate for chief judge.
II is practically settled that Andrews will
be the nominee. Il Is said Chairman Muir.
ply will call the Democratic committee to-
gether on Oct - or IA and that the COM
mittee will indorse the nomination Of An.
drews. This arrangement, it is under
stood, has been mutually agreed upon, be-
cause il will save the state a large sum in
election expenses and will leave the mana-
gers of both parties free TO devote their at
tention to the more important work Of the
campaign.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Cleveland to Meet marrison.

NEW YORK, Oct 5-Mr Cleveland viii
return to Gray Gables tonight lie win be
back in the city next week and will bring
his family him. On his return 10 this
city Mr. Cleveland will personally direct
the canvass; that is, he will have daily con.
ferences with Chairman Haruty, Dickinson
and Others He Will review the Columbian
celebration parade, and may stand side by
side with Harrison. They ywill also dine 10.
gether at the banquet at Lenox Lyceum on
the evening of oct. l8. Both President
Harrison and Mr. Cleveland have accepted
invitations 60 attend the dedication of the
Worlds fair buildings on Oct. 81. That
will probably be the only time that Mr..
Cleveland will leave the city after his re-
turn from Gray Gables until after the cleo
tiOn
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Mutual Throat-cutting.

Buffalo Enquirer.
II is well known that the Carnegie
mills are in bad shape, owing to the
effort to operate them with unskilled
labor Even Mr. FricS refuses to say
that everything is going on satisfactorily.
The Carnegie company has not profited
much by the cutdown in wages which it
ordered last spring In the first place
there was a long and costly fight with
the men. Then there was the delay and
expense growing out Of an attempt to
break in inexperienced workmen. The
company also lost a great many con
tracts, which We're taken to other firms,
because it was Uncertain when they
could be completed al in all, the
labor war has not been profitable
undertaking for the Carnegie company.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Florida Democratic.

JACKSONVILLE, Oct. 5.-lhe returns in
dictate the election of the entire Democrat
ic ticket by y majority Of 1880 The Peo-
ple's party polled 5000 votes only. The en-
tire Democratic ticket is elected as follows;
Governor, Henry l.. Mitchell; secretary of
state, John L. Crawford; justice Of the su-
preme court, r. Fenwick Taylor; attorney
general, w. B. Lamar; comptroller w D..
Bloxham; treasurer, G. B. Collins; superin-
tendent of public instruction, w. n. Sheats;
commissioner Of agriculture l.. b. Womb
we'll
Evening journal., 1892-10-05

and other products of leather has under
gone vast development and finds itself
able to compete in the markets of the
world with all rivals The result has
been such an increase in the demand for
the raw material that the value of
domestic hides has been increased in
stead OF reduced by the removal Of the
duty On the other hand, the state has
seen its woolen industry languishing and
It's iron industry dying out on account
of the heavy tax upon their raw ma
tprials
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Democratic ballots Thrown ont.

THoMAsToN, Conn, Oct 5-Although
the Democrats carried this town 1br the
first time in many years, the entirf kote of
that party was thrown out by thql moder-
ators ON the ground that the ball Is were
Irregular. The decision Of the nj tbderator
viii be contested.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
The NIassnchusctts Revolution.

NV lUrA limos.
The advance Of the doctrines of the
Democratic party in Massachusetts, es-
pecially with reference 10 tariff legisla-
tion, is matter Of great significance
because that is conspicuously manu-
featuring state. It's people have had
one important lesson as 60 the value Of
free raw materials in promoting their in
dusiries Since the removal of the duty
on hides the industry of making leather
and manufacturing boots and shoes and
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
MnIInl he ls Id Reform.

William sr was before Judge
Ball this NOR zig for drunkenness. but
as William is endeavoring 20 reform, the
Judge allowed him TO depart. James
Adams, who was drunk, was fined 81 and
costs John Perkins was fined S. and
costs for disorderly conduct and James
ODonnell was fined Sl5 and costs for
assault and battery.
Evening journal., 1892-10-05
Jndrc CooIex,s PosItlon.

ANN ARBoR, Mich, Oct. 5--Judge Thom-
as NJ. Cooley asserts positively that he will
not write letter proclaiming himself for
the Democratic candidates, his health be
ing in too precarious a condition TO stand
the excitement and agitation which such q
letter would draw him into. lie does not
deny that he win vote for Cleveland, but
simply says he is out of politics