Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-12-08

F LAM that inquiry MSS oseked mp br
thirteen Others of an equally seaxchinR
nature, the most modest of which r.
quired information as to whether I had
committed any burglary. or highway
robbery. or by aEv arson or other
secret source of emoulment, had 40
quired property which was not enumer-
ated in my statement Of income a. sex
opposite to inquiry No l.. :.
It was plain that that stranger had
enabled me to make . goose Of myself
It was very. very plain; and so ! went
out and hired another artist BY work.
ing on my vanity the stranger had Sc
duced me into declaring an income OF
sa14.0Oo. By Law. 81 900 Of this was ex-
empt from income tax-the only relief
I could see, and it was only drop in
the ocean. At the legal five per cent.
must pay to the government the sum OF
S10,65O income tax!
may remark. in this place. that
did not do it
I am acquainted with q very opulent
man, whose house is palace, whose
table is regal, whose outlays are enor-
nous, yet man who has no income, aa
I have often noticed by the revenue re-
turns; and to him went for advice, in
my distress He took my dreadful ex-
hibition of receipts, he put on his
glasses, he took his pen, and presto! IL
was pauper! It was the neatest thing
that ever was. He did it simply by
deity manipulating the bill of DE
auctions" He sat down my Estate.
national, and municipal taxes" at so
much; my "losses by shipwrecl.
fire, etc." at so much, my "losses ON
sales Of real estate "-on "live stock
sold "-on payments for rent of home
stead"-on repairs. improvements,
interest ION previously taxed salary
as an officer Of the United States army.
navy, revenue SERVICE" and other
things He got astonishing "deduc-
tons" out of each and every one Of
these matters-each and every one Of
them And when he was done he
handed me the paper, and saw at .
glance that during the year my income.
in the way of profits, had been one
thousand two hundred and fifty dollars
and forty cents.
''Now," said he, 'the $1,000 is ex-
empt by law. What you want to do is
to go and swear this document in and
pay tax on the $3.50"
while he was making this speech his
little boy Willie lifted q two-dollar
greenback out of his vest pocket and
vanished with it, and l would wager
anything that if my stranger were to
call on that little boy tomorrow he
would make false return Of his in
come
"Do you," said I. ''do you always
work up the deductions after this fash
ion in your own case. sire"
''Well, should say so! If it weren't
the head of Deduction should be beg
CARED every year to support this hate
full and wicked, this extortionate and
tyrannical government"
This gentleman stands away up
among the very best of the solid men of
the city-the men of moral weight, of
commercial integrity, of unimpeachable
social spotlessness-and SO I bowed to
his example. went down to the reve-
nue. office, and under the accusing eyes
of my old visitor stood up and swore
to lie after lie, fraud after fraud, vii
1ainy after villainy, till my soul was
coated inches and inches thick with per-
jury. and my self-respect gone for ever
and ever
But what of it? It is nothing more
than thousands of the richest and
proudest, and most respected, honored
and courted men in America do every
year. And SO l don't care. am NOS
ashamed. I shall simply, for the pres
ent, talk little, and eschew fire proof
gloves, lest fall into certain dreadful
habits irrevocably.