Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1892-06-30
EYENIAG ECHOES.

what made Sampson weakp" asked
the Sunday-school teacher. "a home
made hair cut" promptly replied boy
in the front row.-Puck.
The Smith College girls have organ
lied society for the protection of birds.
The larks Of the young gentlemen will
receive their first attention.
81 don't see how girl can marry a
man she's known only two weeks?"
sand don't see how she can marry
one she's known longer."-LJe.
Quiz-Did you have good house
last evening. Manager-I should say
it was good. All the deacons in town
were in the baldheaded row.-Bingham-
ton Republican.
Mrs. Morris-"Don't you find it hard
to get domestic? ~ Mrs. Essex-"I
don't try to get a domestic; get the i'm
ported. "-1Tuh.
Elder Goodman--I hope you go to
Sunday-school, Jimpsy? Jimpsy-
What, now! With no picnics for five
months and nearly year to Christmas
Boston Courier.
Americans travelling in Europe should
be careful about letting their boards
grow. By the time they get back there
may be heavy tariff on European
grown beards.-Nooo York Herald.
A morning paper heads an editorial
"a Guide Book to Failure" The
shortest guide book to failure, and one
Of the most effective, is comprised in
two words, viz, Don't advertise. ~
y. Nccs.
"Arent you afraid Of catching some
terrible disease, doctor, in the practice
Of your profession 2" "Oh, no, never.
am well inoculated. Before / went
into medicine was baseball player.
Muffed everything. "-Judge.
Strawber-Do you notice that the
cashier in our restaurant has on new
gown every day? Singerly-Yes. But
| am not surprised at it. Strawber-
Why not? Singerly-She's the wife of
the head WAITER Cloak ReSiew.
In Anderson, Ind, there is an organi-
cation of young men known as the
Brotherhood of United Matrimonial
Seekers; but the suggestive word spelled
by the initials of this name, threatens to
break it up.-Neso York Tribune.
Small Brother-Say, Mr.. jerks, if
you're not u clam, as you say, you're
not much bigger, are you? Visitor
Why SO, Willie? Small Brother-Be.
cause | heard sister say you were So
cially oyster-sized.- Washington Star.
Wayside Beggar-Beg your pardon,
sir, but Brusque Citizen-Sorry |
can't accommodate you. Had you asked
for quarter, should have been glad to
accommodate you; but the fact is, I'm
all out of pardon.-Boston Transcript.
A letter addressed to George w.
Eightquarts was received the other day
in the Topeka, Kan, post-office. But
the postmaster didn't let little puzzle
| like that bother him. He delivered it to
George w. Peck.-NGao York Tribune.
Mrs. Stings-"Last night you came
home with story of sitting up with a
sick friend Now, what excuse have
you this timer" Mr.. Straightforward
my love, we (hic) all gathered (hic)
round his beer."-Chicdgo inter Ocean.
Roaming Journalist hear that the
present owner of the Daily Bloaohdrd is
rich old snoozer, who made fortune
| on hams. Does he ever write anything
worth reading? Blowhard Man-You
| just bet he does; he signs the Cheeks
Mem York Weekly.
|
the prisoner is |" whispered the old lady
to her husband in the police court room.
"Pd be afraid to get near him." "Sh ~
warned her husband, shat isn't the
prisoner, he hasn't been brought in yet.
It's the iudge."-N Y, Neaos
Neighbor (breathlessly)-Oh, Mrs,
Hardluck, your little son Johnny found
dynamite bomb and took it into n
stable down town and broke it with an
AK, and blew up the stable and all the
buildings around it. Mrs. Hardluck-
Land sakesl l wonder what that boy
will be up to next.-Good Nelos.
Ii anybody should go to the ant, thou
sluggard, it is the hen. A right smart
ant can lay "a 900 eggs in "a hours, with
out sweating a hair. Surprising the hen
should go to the ant and initiate her
illustrious example, wouldn't you like
to be the sole proprietor of that hen,
whose eggs are, say, 25 cents dozenY
Hey9
A clergyman who is down on tobacco
asks; "What would you think if you
met at angel coming down street with a
cigar in his mouth?n 1t all depends. If
he was a good natured looking angel the
average man would think of asking him
if he had another cigar in his vest-in
his vestments-to spare.-Rcligi0us
Weekly.
AS old age approaches life gradually
loses its sweetness, and with many men
it becomes extra dry" 1t may have
been for the purpose of providing
against these dry days that IL certain
man in Vermont began boarding his en-
tire crop of maple sugar in 1912 and has
continued to do so ever Ihllddet-
phi0 Record
Reporter-If you will allow me to
have the sermon which you are to de-
liver on Sunday ! will copy it and print
1t in Mondays paper. DE Goode-I
cannot allow my sermon to go out of
my hands. If you will come TO church
on Sunday you can hear it and take
notes. Reporter with dignity)-I do
not work on Sunday, sir,-Ne@ YORK.
Weekly
II blows over.-"Fyreeter, you are a
contemplate liar, an infamous sneak
thief and a dastardly coward |" 81
won't stand that. Pull off your coat
and we'll settle the question right here
whether am or nntw "You'll fight,
will youg Then I'll retract the charge
as to cowardice." "Mudsling, accept
your handsome apology. Shake r.
Chicago Tribune.
Jack Gayboy Ito aged relative who
has long been hanging on the yerge)--
swell, Uncle William, I've come in TO
say good-by to YOU I'm going abroad
pretty soon, to be gone several months,
hut | shall hope to see you when | re-
turn" Aged Relative-"lou will never
see me again, except in a better and