Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-10-10
JUST FOR FUN.

A cat sees as we'll by night as by
day and sings rather worse.
When a grain field has got about all
it can hold, it is ready for some mower.
Love laughs at locksmiths, but it
gives very respectful attention to the
goldsmith.
Does your new dress fit you we'll,
Clara? Oh, splendidly? I can hardly
move or breathe in it.
Mrs Coldwater = I wonder why he
doesn't try holding his breath when
he has hiccoughs. Jaglets I guess it
is most too strong for him.
CLAIMS are said to be happy, and
this must be because of their silence.
There is a lesson here for politicians
and candidates.
A reason for the faith that is in nina
responsible citizen of the South writes:
From observation covering a great number of
cases 1 unhesitatingly pronounce Salvation
Oil to be the most wonderful remedy for
burns l have ever tried.
Willie wanted to drive the horses.
Ou Ct1 u SctlQ 1deLSI CD
I can too, insisted Willie Mamma
says I drive her crazy most every day.
Some fellows are like pop corn; as
long as they keep cool, they can hide
what is in them; but, whenever they
get excited they turn wrongside out.
"You say you're a veteran from
Georgia? "I have that honor, SIR"
"What regiment?" ''No regiment at
all, sir,-just natural born colonel!''
"Suppose you get rule for Ire
land, Pat. Would you be satisfied?''
sol would not" sWhat would you
want next?" "Oirish rule for England,
sure"
That was pretty hard DOCTORS bill
l had to pay. How was that? You see
it was for injuries received by being
thrown from horse I was riding by
the DOCTORS advice.
Mrs. Trump = Isn't Willie rather
young to be sent to school? Mrs.
Chump-Yes, but he's just learned to
whistle and I can't bear to have him
around the house.
81 have been using DR.. BULBS Cough Srvup
for some time. 1t cured my baby of a very
bad cough. | believe it was the means of
saving his life. Mrs Thomas Hinton, Cen
treville, N. J.''
Miss Crofut = This little cup and
spoon were given to me on my first
birthday. Miss Pussley-Oh, I must
show them to mamma! She has per-
feet mania for old silver.
Now that the government has OBJ
tanned satisfactory smokeless pow
der, we respectfully renew our sug-
gestion that it turn it's ingenuity to-
ward the invention of a smokeless ci-
gazette.
At a printers dinner lately the fol-
lowing toast was proposed: 'tWomen,
second only to the press in dissem
mating news" The ladies are still
undecided whether to regard this as
compliment or not
Aunt Sally-Goodness me! How can
the president be SO extravaganza with
the peoples money!" Uncle Pea
straw: 'What's the matter, mother?''
Aunt Sally: "Only think of keeping
those pesky Indians on government
preserves!'
For Rheumatism, Lumbago, Neuralgia,
Cramp and Collie there is no remedy superior
to the genuine DR.. Thomas Ec1ectric Oil.
Brother Bylins is eloquent in prayer,
said one member of the congregation
to another, but I don't think he is
very liberal when the contribution box
passes. No; his offerings to the
Lord are confined almost entirely to
suggestions"
Young mistress-I don't see why
you should leave me so suddenly I
am sure have done all 1 could to help
you with the homework, and I've
done all the cooking. Maid-Yes'm,
that's what's the matter. What? [
can't stand yer cooking.