Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-07-22

rs<tsrsau HAD no oskse rsal o9ss e.
cspt hsr husbsnds. bus ~ expecting
every day that Arthur Montague, . gem
tisuaAa GA tbs sfAes. would oder him
self. Ons dAy. hovsvu. 4r. Bullion
called - 80 hsr aod cid:
IL have come On the $50 train and
ooghs 10 return By ths noon tram "
take up note fog olo, 900 which other
wiss VIII 90 10 protest.. have Jeff my
sslf tass a hour and half ia which 10
become engaged 70 you. and | have
brought this ring on spprobatiou- II -
worth - much - the note, and II II u
not returned 10 the Jeweler today he Will
NOD take II. Now IL remains with you
b loss me ~, 900 or to save il. for
shAnt taks the noon train unless leave
the ring On your engagement finger.
OF course, pursues Mrs. Bullion. i
didn't want 70 make the man lose tso,-
ooc, 50 l slipped the ring ON my finger
and he went back on the noon train
Pursuing his researches our student
finds that one gentleman remarked that
he had for long time felt himself 20 b
stray half Of pair Of scissors. but REQ
ognixed the lady addressed - the other
half.
Another sutton invited his chosen one
to drive, and asked her II shs had any
prejudice against fried onions. and upon
her assuring him that she had not, he
confessed that his favorito dish was
beefstsak smothered in onions and
wound up by saying:
.'And II you'll go that get Ii i've
mornings in tho week for breakfast 81 q
sharp, well buy . barrel Of onions to-
morrow"
Seventeen widowers, In slightly vary
ing forms, are found ~ base their offer
upon tho need Of some one to look after
their ''motherless little ones;" all seven
teen used that exact phrase, and have
noticed wi6owers usually do. Also, ]
have occasionally wondered why moth
erless little ones" is considered 20 ''fetch-
ing while ''motherless young ones"
would bs quite the contrary.
Two doctors confessed that they would
get more and better practice - married
than IS single men, while ono clergyman
who bad cherished thoughts Of celibscy
mAkes the startling announcement that
1.-The world. the flesh and the devil have
conquered my better nature and you
must become my wife"
Ii - pleasant to note that the young
lady responded that she did not wish to
go into the firm whose style he had
quoted. and should by no manner Of
means become his wife. Shortly after.
the same sensible girl received an Offer
from young man who told her that she
showed herself SO good daughter that
he was sure she would be good wife.
and wanted her for has wife. Him she
accepted because she thought be would
make such . good sou-in-law.
1t Is recorded Of one couple, that hav-
ing gone with party from one city to
another to pass an evening ct the the
alter, they lost tho last train home and
were Obliged to spend the night at .
hotel. There being no married Lady in
the party it was proposed that one Of
the girls should get married and 50 ma
tronise the rest; lots were drawn TO de-
eide which Of the young men should be-
come . benedict. and he who drew the
longest straw stepped mp to girl he had
fore, and said:
"You and might - wen be the VIC
Tins. sally"
Sally assented, . justice Of the peace
tied the knot between two sleepy yawns
and Sally ssatronised the party.
II you think that story too extrava-
CANT ! viii assure you that Sally told il
to me herself, and added that "her
folks were real provoked" about il, and
she rather thought Jim and she would
go through the court and make another
start, for he hadn't any way to support
her and had . real ugly temper.
Closing our big blue book, we look
into our own experiences, we women,
and mentally smile a. we rehearse the
forms aud methods In which men have
made known to N the fact that they
wished to marry Us, for ! take it for
granted that most Of us have received at
least that "one OFFER" whether we &C.
cepted it or not
Ny own impression Is that the most
effective offers are the most unrepeat-
able. consisting more Of looks. half SEN
fences, significant pauses, timely
gesture. half suppliant. half peremp-
tory caress, which IL accepted seals the
bargain. and il rejected carries with it a
rejection IN toto.
OF course most American women have
heard more domestic than foreign offers
OF marriage, and certainly mems man.
ners differ a. much in this ~ In any
other national custom. The American
and the EnSlishman sincerely respect
woman They perceive that her mental
and moral powers, If not identical with
their own, are quite ~ important to the
common veal; they consider that in
offering marriage they ask for fellow
ship and intelligent sympathy. and an
added strength and power in their lives;
while the Continental. the Italian, the
Frenchmsn or Spanisrd prostrstes him.
self In extravaGant homage ut the feet
of the woman ne would win. and when
once she Ia won treats her as a toy. a
slave or an irresponsible child. 10 be
petssd. governed and suspiciously
watched. bat never trusted with adairu
Of importance.
II is calculated that IL would take a
person over 800 years 70 read ali the
standard works that are published, and
yet we seldom come across q man who
viii a~knaulA<Iss that ha has not read