davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
T07HEP0|NT.

The Yankee who had been lying
at the point of death, and who whit
tied it off and recovered, evidently
saw the point. We have whitfield
FALL AND WINTER CLOTHING
PRICES TO A POINT, and if you
are as shrewd as the Yankee you will
see the point and recover yourself in
Suit and Overcoat bought of the
MISFIT PARLORS, $40 Smithdeld
street. We make point of covering
people neater and better than any
body, and we make the further point
of giving values beyond competition.
This we do at all seasons. Just now
we are scaling prices on many things
way below the cost line.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
sELF-GovERNMENT FOR C0LoNIEs
An Imperial Council Suggested by the Fed
Grafton League of Great Britain.

An Imperial COuncu suggested py the r ed
Grafton League of Great Britain.
LONDON, Nov. A.-The special committee
appointed by the Council of tho Imperial
Federation League to consider definite pro-
posals for a federation of the self-governing
bodies OF the British Empire has presented
an exhaustive anu very Important report.
The committee suggests the formation OF an
Imperial Council which should con-
sist of members appointed by
each of the various self-goterning
colonies, together with the British
Prime Minister, the Secretaries OF State,
Foreign Affairs, War, the Colonies and
India, the First Lord of the Admiralty and
the Chancellor of the EKchequer.
The method OF raising funds at the outset
should be left to the choice of the selfgov-
erning States, but uniform principle might
atterward be found and substituted. The
committee proposes that an imperial con-
ference be summoned to consider the ques-
tion, the conference, IL 1t is deemed neces-
sary, to be preceded by a royal commission.
The committee closes its report with q
strong appeal to the Ministry to take action
in this direction.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15

Providing the results are in this way the
Pennsylvania would be entitled to play
Yale in New York on Thanksgiving Day,
1893. That would break off the long estab-
lished struggle between Yale and Prince
ton on Thanksgiving Day and be severe
disappointment TO Yale, which does not
relish the entrance of PENNSYLVANIA into
the charmed circle heretofore occupied ex-
clusiyely by Harvard, Yale and Prince
ton.
To lose the Thanksgiving Day game with
Yale will be q crushing blow to Princeton,
for, according to the constitution of the
association the net receipts of that day are
equally divided between the contesting col
ieges, and the yearly contest at New York
has been a rich financial plum. Providing
Princeton defeats Yale and Pennsylvania
Tanquishes Wesleyan, the standing of the
clubs would be as follows: Yale, won 2,
lost 1; Princeton, won 2, lost 1; Pennsyl-
vania, won 2, lost 1; Wesleyan, won 0, lost
3. 1t will be seen that Yale, Princeton and
Pennsylvania will be tied for first place,
and there is nothing in the rules covering
such a case.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15

delegates from the leading amateur bicycle
organizations in France, Belgium, Holland,
Germany, Denmark, Canada and America,
to be held in London, November 23 and "a,
for a discussion of the subject and tho
adoption of a uniiorm amateur rule. Ray
mond goes with power to act.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
The Prn-Amateur Trouble.

New YORK, Nov. A-On Wednesday
lairman Raymond, of the /. A. w. Racing
oard, will sail for London. He goes as
preventative of the League of American
rheelmen, to attend a convention on the
nateur question. With view to remedy
lg the defect at present surrounding the
lateur ruling, the National 'Cyclist
ZION, OF Englaac, has called meeting OF
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
Thanksgiving Day Shoot.

On Thanksgiving Day the Allegheny Eagle
Gun Club will hold its fourth annual shoot
on the club grounds. Marshal avenue. The
shoot will start at 10 o'clock A. NJ, and live
pigeons, sparrows and clay pigeons will be
shot at. A free lunch will be served on the
grounds.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15

THE latest fashions in winter hats and
bonnets, which were introduced i'll Paris
November |, will be received by me for
Wednesday, November l6. Large selection
of my own designs Mt reasonable prices.
Orders to match costumes from IS upward
MILE L. DREYER, GA Penn avenue.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
The News From Below.

WHEELING-River feet 6 inches and rising
slowly. Departed-Annle Laurie. Pittsburg; Liz.
zle Bay, Pittsburg. Cool and cloudy.
ClNCINNATI-River feet inches and rising.
Cool.
ST. LoUIs-Riyer feet and stationary. Clear
and pleasant. No boats
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
What Upper Gauges Show.

MoRGANTowN-Rive feet and stationary.
Weather cloudy. Thermometer $50 at4P.M.
WARREN-River 1.6 feet. Weather cloudy and
COOL
BRowNsvILLE-River5 feet inches and station
ary. Thermometer $50 at p. NJ.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15

The Peoples Store, Fifth Avenue.
Websters unabridged dictionary ut 500 to.
day. CAMPBELL & DICE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15

DEwIrT's Little Early Risers. No gripping.
NO pain, no nausea; easy pill to take.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-15
RIVER NEWS AND NOTES.
Business Continues Fair With the Water
Rising at Lower Points.
ESPECIAL rE1EeRAMs TO THE DISPATCH,

TBPECIAL TELEGRAMS to THE DIbPAICH.I
LOUISVILLE, Nov. H.-Business fair. Weather
rainy. River rising. with foot inches the
fals, feet 10 inches in the canal and feet inches
City of Carrollton and Congo in the Cincinnati M
trade. Departures--For Cincinnati, Telegraph;
for Carroton, Big Kanawha; for Evansville,
Carrie Hope.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
IL was Betsy Patterson.

Ex- Minister Dallas used to tell the
following anecdote OF jerome Bona
parte: He had been playing cards
until he had lost all his ready money.
then pledged his rings and finally
laid his watch on the table. 1t was a
small gold one. the back OF which
opened with a spring A lady over.
looking the game admired the watch.
and took it up to examine. On her
attempting to open the back jerome
Immediately clasped 1t and said thai
must not be done His wife, who
stood by. insisted upon knowing what
was in 1t; grew angry. reproached
him with having some keepsake OF q
favor.te there and. finally bursting
into tears, quit the room. Jerome
then opened the watch, showed to all
present that 1t contained a beautiful
miniature OF his first wife Betsy Pat.
terson). with the remark: You see.
i hope that ! could not with proprie
ty. let her see it." 1t was notorious,
that he remained deeply attached to
his first wife long after their separa
ton. -Argonaut
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
THE BRAvEsr BATTLE.

The bravest battle that ever was fought
Shall tell you where and whenf - =
On the maps Of the world you win find 4
Twas sight by the mothers Of men.
eSt with cannon, or battle shot,.
With sword; or nobler pen;
Nay, not with'eloquent word or thought,
From mouths. of wonderful men.
But deep In welled-up woman's heart,
woman that would not yield,
But bravely, silently bore her part,
10! There Is that battlefield. ~
No marshalling troop, no bivouac song;
No banner to CLEAN and wave;
But, oh! these battles they last so long
From babyhood to the grave.
Yet, faithful stin as bridge of stars,
She fights In her walled-up town,
Fights on and on, In the endless wars,
Ihsn silent, unseen, goes down.
o We with banners and battle shot,
And soldiers TO shout and praise,
/ tell you the kingliest victories fought
Are fought in these silent ways.
oh, spotless woman in world Of shame!
With splendid and silent scorn,
Go back to God as white as you came,
The kingliest warrior born
Joaquin Miller in the Business Woman's
Journal.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
WALKING IN A CIRCLE.
why People Lost In the Woods Don't &C
In n Straight Line.

why People Lost In the Woods Don't Go
In n Straight Line.
The fact that 1Uople lost on des-
ert or in forest invariably walk In
circle is due to slight inequality in the
length Of the legs, declares Pearson's
Weekly. Careful measurements OF q
series OF skeletons have shown that
only 10 per cent had the lower limbs
equal in length; 50 per cent had the
right limb longer than the left while
IS per cent the left leg was the longer.
The result of one limb being longer
than the other will naturally be that
a person will unconsciously, take a
longer step with the longer limb and
consequently will trend to the right
or to the left, according as the left or
right leg is the longer unless the
tendency to deviate is corrected by
the eye.
The left leg being more frequently
the longer, as evidenced by measure
ment OF the skeleton. the inclination
should take place more frequently to
the right than to the left and this
conclusion Is quite borne out by the
observations made on number OF
persons when walking bllndfolded
Further on measurement OF the arms
1t is found that In ~ per cent the
right arm is longer than the left,
while in. "a per cent the left arm Is
the longer. showing that consider
able majority OF persons are right
handed and left-legged. The in
equality in tho length OF the limbs is
not confined to any particular sex or
race. but seems to be universal in AZ
respects
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
THE DEAF OLD MAN.
And IN. rrorbl. Hs Mad. for roor cos-

And the Trouble He Made for Poor Coz
ling.
..Ha ha! chuckled Cooling to him
SELL There are those two delicious
Gorham girls about to board that car.
III just hurry to the next corner and
board 1t as II passes Then they
won't suspect that I've followed them.
It's lovely chance 70 make a good
impression.
Cooling swung bravely on the rear
platform as the car passed his street
and was entering with sweet smile
on his countenance. prepared to bow
to the girls when he trod on the toe
OF an old gentleman who sat near the
door. reading newspaper.
This passenger looked up and Cod
ling murmured apologetically beg
your pardon. sir" 49,
"Hey?"
II beg your pardon" repeated Cod
ling. raising his voice to pitch
which attracted the attention Of
everybody in the car. %
Speak louder. I'm trifle deal. I"
said the old gentleman.
Il said beg your pardon. shouted
Cooling. while the unfeelipg Gorham
girls Uttered.
You said Peggy was starving. did
youp" replied the deaf old gentleman.
well. I'm sorry for that; but don't
know Peggy. Is she your wifep"
n Cooling got very red In the face;
but he made another attempt with
his voice at Eiffel tower elevation:
''You misunderstood me. SIR"
..Heyp". .Af q
you mlsundS rstood!' yelled Cod.
ling while the car laughed and the
Gorham girls Uttered.
She's Miss Underwood. Is She?
Oh. yes l see. Yes l understand
now; but still don't see why you are
telling me about Miss Underwood.
Il didn't say any thing about Miss
Underworld screamed Cooling. while
beads OF perspiraton rolled down his
face. Il begged your pardon and
you misunderstood"
'Oh. yes. now / understand. -, the
deaf man replied. 'Its Aunt Peggy.
who is starving Miss Underwood.
But why don't you report the case to
the Humane Society instead OF bother
ing strangers with your troublep"
By this time the car was In per-
feet roar. and the Gorham girls were
in CONFUSION OF mirth; but Cooling
made another effort to straighten
matters out
'I-said." he began. speaking very
distinctly, and placing his words
wide apart .I-said-l-
pardon ecause-when-I-
on-the-car-I-a accidentally
ped-on-your-toe. That's all.
Do-you-understan
Him" grunted the deaf man. with
a thoroughly disguised air. and he
once more buried himself in his news
paper.
The passengers all looked at Cod
ling with joyous smiles, but he told
the conductor he'd rather get of; a'
he reached the sidewalk he heard the
hilarity IN the car break out afresh.
and above 1t all the tittering OF the
Gorham girls reached his ears with
| remarkable distinctness.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
From Homer TO virgil.

Some time ago the London Times
contained an advertisement for an
assistant capable OF teaching the
classics as far rs Homer and Virgil. J"
Among the answers received wv the
following: Sir: With refereSSS %
the advertisement which was inA2&sd
in the Times newspaper few days
since, respecting a school assistant l
beg to state that should be happy to
fill that situation. but as most OF my
friends reside in London, and not
knowing how far Homer and Virgil Is
from town, / beg to state that !
/ should not like 10 engage to teach
the classics farther than Hammer
smith or Turnham Green. or at the
very utmost distance farther than
Brentford Awaiting your reply !
am. sir, etc" hsf
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
ARTIFICIAL FLIGHT.
Suspension In tho Air Comparatively Sim
pie. hut Steering Difficult.

Suspension In tho Air Comparatively Sim
pie. But steering DiHicuit.
The new flying machine" type Is
to be compared rather to n skipping
stone running over the water because
OF its intrinsic density and the veloc-
ity which this very density renders 1t
possible to impress on IL; or to the
skater who passes safely because
swiftly, over thin ice which would
not bear his own weight moment II
he stood STILL states tho Cosmopolitan.
Mr.. Maxim, whose name Is widely
known as that OF most successful In.
ventor Is understood to have nearly
completed. at Kent In England. fly
ing machine on this principle stretch
ing over 100 feet from tip to tip OF the
so-called wings. These are really
comparatively rigid kite-like support
ing planes. supplied with twin pro-
pellers like those OF an ocean steamer.
and actuated by engines OF almost the
normal horse power OF those belong
.lng to the first Cunarders which
crossed the Atlantic, and. In the writ
er's opinion. probably thus fitted with
sufficient mechanical power to secure
horizontal flight II that power can
only be rightly directed. With this
machine Mr.. Maxim expects to mako
IN early attempt at artificial flight on
the grandest scale.
It has been demonstrated that ma
chimes even II they are built OF the
heavier metals. such as steel can be
sustained in the air with an expendi-
ture OF power certainly within our
ability to command. and at great
speed II they are guided rightly.
What has not been demonstrated is
that we can guide such machines
Alright In the desired horizontal path
and that we can descend with safety
In them. and this Is the next thing
IN da
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
LIFE IN A FLAT.

Various and Sundry Nuisances Experl-
enced by City Dweilers.
It always seems that the family
iext door bought its rocking chair be-
before the invention OF the noiseless
rocker
The very good young man who
spends all his evenings at home is the
fellow who is learning to play on the
flute.
!, II your dinner is late every evening
1t is sure sign that your wife has
got on visiting terms with the other
tenants.
The family that keeps cat remem-
bsrs the janitor around the holidays.
The vestibule door is always closed
on time the night you have gone out
and forgotten your latch key.
Never let your little boy run about
with the children IN the fat above
you when you can get him to visit
with the boys In the fiat underneath.
The landlord has an easier Job
raising the rent than the tenant
The families addicted to cabbage
and onions always leave their hall
doors open.
There is a good deal OF family quar-
reling going on in fats considering
that there Is no cat and dog life there
The janitor objects to carrying any
thing. That is why your coal lasts in
direct proportion to the distance your
bin is from tho janitor's own apart
menta
II the postman has a package too
big to 90 in the letter. box It is sure
to be for the man that lives in the top
Hat.
The curtain lecture Is nothing to
the man who has lost his latch key
and has to ring up the janitor when
he arrives home In the wee sma'
houra
You always think the people who
live In the Hat overhead are the noisi.
est family In the house.
1t takes more than sign to keep
beggars and peddlers out OF q fiat
The fat shows how the other hall
| lives. IN. Y. Sun.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23

A Challenge That Proved the Tonderfoot
Msn1 or Nerve. ~
Il once saws challenge to- duel
issued and accepted. and the time
place and weapons nominated. The
affair however. did not come to any
issue"
The speaker was dan Quinn" the
we'll known writer OF wild and woolly
Western character and dialect stories
according to the Chicago Inter- Ocean.
1T was In Deadwood." said he
about eight years ago. and the two
men who were to have been the par
Elephants had been snarling at each
other for many days One OF them
was q young. c0nsumptive-looking
fellow from somewhere in the East
and. OF course was held in much con-
tempt by the old timerat Ia somein@
definable way. however,, many. OF these
seemed to have q kind OF respect fol
him. as on one Or two occa sions he
had given evidence that perhaps after
all he was not to be laughed at He
was to these semi-admirers an un.
known quantity and while they were
all anxious for some opportunity to
present itself in which he would show
what he was made oil. yet not one Of
them cared to furnish the looked-for
chance.
The, man who did the snarling
was. perhaps the only man in the So.
lect CLIQUE that hung around the sa'
loon where the quarrel finally materi.
allied who did not believe that the
tenderfoot had any nerve and he
never missed an opportunity to init
mate as much. On the night in ques.
ton the two men had been unusually
spirited. and 1t was acinch that there
. would be trouble before the daylight.
broke in.
Finally the old-timer made a re.
mark to the other that there was NJ
mistaking. 1t meant business. The
young fellow heard it and. without
moving a hand. apppunced' to thu
other that he had Heard the remarl
and that he had a proposition to
make. The crowd was in the .righ'
humor and.the boy was allowed to &c
on. ~ose $780, ~
He said that he was tenderfoot!
He was aware OF It he declared. anG
hefelt sorry. but he also said that il
the other would give him fair show
he would fight HIM. Then he made
what was considered remarkable
proposition. He asked his antagonist
lay aside his gear to make nc
plays but to issue him a challenge to
battle royal. He had. he said. con.
scientious scruples against being the
aggressor in quarrel but he was per
fectly willing to do the square thing
when the showdown came. 7*'''
We'll. after much parley. the big
fellow at once agreed to the deal ant
the challenge was issued. The boy a
once accepted it, named guns as thu
weapons the place the saloon and tn,
time right then. But his condition
under, which the duel was to be Tough
was the most remarkable part Of 1t
/ He insisted that he and his opponen
! should stand face to face with the toe
|, OF their right boots touching. Thei
guns were to be in their belt and a
the word they were to draw and fire
I There could be only one result !
was a daring proposal but whether /
was bluff or not was never known
The other crawfished and apologized
and the outcome was that the TIVE
men became partners. But nobod!
in Deadwood ever iptimated agail
that the young fellow was lacking il
nerve. He showed that he had some
thing about him"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
MystifyInx.

At one time before the Franco Prus-
sian war; when Napoleon the Third
was visitor at London. amateur
theatricals were arranged for his en-.
tertainment A Mr.. Brown. who took
principal part in the entertainment
prided himself,on his knowledge oil
French: During the evening. he was
one OF the cast in French. comedietta
and Immediately after played the part
OF an Englishman who spoke broken
French. During, this latter sketch.
Napoleon the, Third laughed frequent
ly. and when. Mr.. Brown was pre-
sented to the emperor at the close oil
the evening he was complimented in
this ambiguous manner: Your bad
French was as good as your good
French; allow me to congratulate
you" Naturally. Mr.. Brown retired
little mystified. -Argouaut
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
Bre.Eins IL Gently.

Foreman QUARRY gang)-Its sad
news OF how fur yez Mrs McGahar-
raghty. Y'r husbands new watch 10
broken. II was foino watch. an It's
smashed all TO pieces
Mrs. MEG. --Dearle mel How did
that happen?
Foreman-A ten-ton rock fell on
INN. Y. Weekly.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
African s.Iusnt,on.

Some Of the African tribes pull their
fingers till the joints .crack"as II form
OF salutstion. and one tribe has the
curious fashion OF showing friendship
by standing back 70 back.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
A D.i,ohtroI Number.

Ethel - How did you enjoy tho
picnic. EvaP Not very we'll ! sup.
pose a. IL rained 80 heavily.
Eva - Oh. yes; enjoyed It i'm
mensely. That horrid Miss Gaylord
sat down on huckleberry pie and
got stung by hornets San Francisco
Wash.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
Musical Note.

writing some music, professorpn
'Yes something that will move the
sole"
.Pathetic?"
mo. waltz Texas Siftings
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
new York Firss.

The average number Of FIRE alarms
In a year in New York city Is little
more than 1000. which is at the rate
OF more than ten alarms a day. Less
than one quarter Of the free start be-
tween IL p m and Up m, while
abaat three-quarters start between z
a m and IL p m. Oddly. the
alarms are rarest between and z q
m. when fires for household and
business purposes are kiDdled gener-
ally. The busiest times for firemen
10 between and p m. about the
time that fires for household purposes
60 out
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
An Imporsant yxl,istIe.

Mother Severely Why didn't you
come when called your
Small Boy--why. just rs you was
calling me tommy Traddles down
street whistled for mo Icouldn' GO
70 both could lp--Good News
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23

Friend Ito young husband) -What
10 the sum OF happiness Fred!
Young Husband-Ono and one are
one. New York Judge.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-07-23
Suggestive.

Artist (on daily .newspaper) Here
Is proof OF your portrait as It will
appear In the paper tomorrow morn
ing.
Alderman from the 'Steenth Ward
What's all that behind the picturep
Artist-That Is merely the back
ground. It is a kind OF shading we
call oss-hatching. ssf..
3 Alderman - Young man. i don't
want anything like thatin my picture
Those lines look like an iron grating.