davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
Needless to Telephone

Ii parents could see their own chill
dren as others see them, il is to be
feared that the sum of human happi-
nessWould suffer a serious diminution.
An exchange reports that boy of II
years, more or less, rang the door
bell of a house not long ago. and
said to the lady who answered the
summons:
won't you please telephone to the
police station for me? l have found
lost boy"
"a lost boy? How old?"
about four, Ishould think, ma am
He can talk, but he can't tell where
he lives"
Some poor child, probably"
Some awfully poor child. Why,
lie was the dirtiest boy you ever saw,
and so hungry! Ma says he can't
have had anything TO eat for a week.
We think his folks lost him on pur-
pose. Ma says they ought to be sent
to State Prison"
80 they had. Does he give any
1ame?"
''Oh, yes; he says his name i.
Burt"
"Whatl Has he light hair and
blue eyes?"
"Yes'm."
"And one front tooth gomez"
"Yes'm."
Hes my own son, he is, and you
6alk him over here as quick as you
know how! Also, tell your mother
that people have got rich minding
their own business.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
1.-The Obstinate Thing. &,

Lately the little sons of the Em.
peror of Germany were shown the
mysteries of chapeau-ciaque, or crush
hat. Shortly afterward, in the ante.
room of their father, they found a
tall hat, and Immediately desired to
test their skill in shutting it up
Being an ordinary hat, and without
the claque mechanism, it naturally
refused to shut. At last one little
prince, growing impatient, said to
his brother: ''Sit on 1t, Fritchen!"
Fritz obeyed; there followed a loud
crack and roar Of laughter from the
authors of the mischief. The EN-
peror sent out to ask the cause of the
disturbance. Pointing to the smashed
hat, the Crown Prince replied, with
4 military salute: ''The obstinate
thing wouldn't shut at first, but
among US We managed to make it
change its mindI' The wrecked hat
was replaced by new one, which the
owner will doubtless keep as a SOU
venir Of very amusing episode in the
life Of his country's future head
Manchester Times.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
One OF Dean Burgon's Stories.

A story of Dean Burgon's was about
friends experience in a cOnjurOr's
exhibition. On entering with the
crowd the friend felt somebody at his
coat pocket and expected to find
found two wooden dolls in his pocket.
"Oh, no doubt" he thought, 1.-The
cOnjuror is going to make game Of
Inc by pretending that he has con-
jured these dolls into my pocket, but
| will be more than match for him. "
The two dolls were promptly trans
ferred to the pocket of a stout gentle.
man in front, and from him the orig
inal victim of the conjuror's confed-
crate took care to sit at distance.
By-and-by the conjuror, pretending
to throw dolls among the audience,
said, pointing to Dean Burgon's
friend
II think il that gentleman will do
me the favor to look in his pocket he
will find that he has the dolls"
Dean Burgon, telling the story at d
breakfast, acted the visitor, exhibit
ing his coat pockets in proof of their
being empty. Standing up on his
chair at the breakfast table, and
turning his Oack, he pulled out the
Innings ofhis pocket and showed them
in an empty and flaccid state. Then.
turning around, he said:
No. / don't carry about dolls ih
my pocket; out shouldn't wonder if
that stout gentleman yonder should
find a doll or two in his"
Then he acted the stout gentleman,
who, he explained, was little irrita,
ble
"What, me; sir? What do you
mean, SIR l carry dolls?"
Then he put his hands into his
pockets and made believe to bring
out the dolls. with a look Of amaze
ment and horror-a quasi guilty look,
which, as he did it, was indescribably
ludicrous. The audience, he con-
tinued, were convulsed. But oh, the
poor conjurorl How heavily the
wheels of his entertainment seemed
TO drag all the night afterwardl Out.
done in trick by one of his specta-
tors, who might, for all he knew, be
a great adept in legerdemain, a Pros
pero OF a Merlin.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
UNIATA COUNTY. PENNA.. WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 26 1892

hardly time to become acquainted with
each others views of life and its prob
lens, not to speak of each others pc
culiariiies aud preiudices. Yet it seems
as if We must have known one another
always"
"And that reminds me, Perseus," re-
joined the lovely girl, thoughtfuliy ad-
justing her spectscles, ''that l have
never heard you express your opinion
of theosopby."
"My opinion of theosophy, love,
the young man s9Id, breaking it to hec
as gently as he could, is that the sys-
tenn, as thus far devslC1 ed, hardly
meets the requirments OF an exact
science"
1t was severe shock, but the maid
en- Gid not finch. She only leaned a
der.
"You find much 20 admire in Emer-
son and Thoreau, do you notP" she
asked hopefully.
'I cannot say L do. The one seems
too transcendental. the other almost
atheistic."
Does not the Delsartean idea appeal
to you favorably?"
II IL! i MS DelbdTltdu Duslutss,
dearest. l regard as har mless kind OF
thing, suitable for tweIve-yesr old
schoolgirls who have no roller skating
facilities"
"Well, Perseus," she said, with a
happy sigh, "what difference does it
make after all if We love each otherf
These little differences of opinion shall
not separate us"
mo, Andromeda. they shall not.
We shall not speak of them. They are
trlfles. Look at the roses IN this beau
tIfui vase"
A cry of horror broke from the lips
of Andromeda. She sprang from his
embrace.
What is tie matter, dearest?' ex-
claimed the young man with the ut
most concern.
"Don't touch me-" she painted, sink
ing on a sofa. Don't come near
mel"
what have /"
"Mr. Grigson," she said, recovering
herself by a powerful effort and stand
ing erect, al can overlook your lack
OF appreciation of the great names OF
our literature; l can forgive your want
OF sympathy with the great movements
In the world that possess my soul and
move all my powers to action; but
the proud girl graduate pointed sternly
to the door, can never look with
anything but utter adherence on Q
man who does not know how to pro.
nounce the word 'vahz" Go"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
GOLD LEAF.
The Thinnest Material Made by the EsBd
or Man.

There is probably nothing made by
man that is as thin as sheet of gold
leaf. 1t is nothing more than film,
and is almost as light as air. The
sofLness and tenacity of the metal,
two opposite attributes which it pos
sesses to a remarkable degree, render
possible an operation that would re-
duce any other metal to powder.
The thickness of the leaves vary.
Some say that the thinnest have the
thickness of but 1-250, 000th Of an inch.
So thin is the film of metal in the
leaves that they are transparent.
But instead of the beautiful golden
yellow color which gold is believed to
possess, when held to the light they
appear TO be Of rich deep green.
Every one of the thin square inches
of gold that the beater begins on
makes sixteen pieces OF gold leaf.
Including the waste, each inch Is
beaten out into leaves sufficient to
cover an area of 400 square inches,
which is larger than a gentleman's
good-sized handkerchief. A gold bar,
when beaten out, will carpet a ball
iOOih iOCl lOh6 W olAtg
six wide. An impression is given
from seeing the men swing the heavy
mallets that gold-beaters as a class
are particularly strong and healthy.
This is not so. Their work is conf1n-
ing, and while their arms are strong
and muscular they are not mora
healthy than any other class of men
whose work keeps them indoors.
Their work is steady, and they earn
from Sl2 to Sl6 a week Some of the
work of trimming and preparing the
mOlds for the beater is done by the
wives and daughters of several of the
men at their houses. A term Of four
years is not considered too long a
time in which to learn the trade.
Much skill is required in beating, so
as to spread the metal evenly and
keep the skins in good order. 1t is a
trade that men seem to stick to. Men
have remained in one place for
twenty-five years, and in one of the
half-dozen factories in Philadelphia
the present foreman has been in
charge for forty years. Philadelphia
'pdUpr
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
The Crowd In the Railway station.

"One cold rainy night last winter, I"
remarked the drummer, as he wiped
string OF perspiration beads from
his neck and face, Il was left at
small station on a western branch
road, to wait for four hours for the
train that was TO take me somewhere.
There was nobody around and look
ed pretty lonesome, l guess, for the
brakeman came up and rendered me
his sympathy for two or three min
utes before his train went back up
The road.
Hard place, amt it?" he said,
cooking around on the general dis
malness.
Rather, responded; and worse
Shen man has to wait in it for
four hours
oh, well, you may have some
company, he said encouragingly.
"Who?' and 1 peered about me to
zee if anybody had arisen from the
earth.
"'Well, he said slowly as If max
ng calculation, you'll find in the
station the telegraph operator, the
station agent, the baggagemaster,
the train dispatcher, the ticket-seller,
the storekeeper, the accident insur-
ance agent, the express agent, the
postmaster and one or two other
1tficia s.
THAT isn't so bad,' replied, ana
Co>1 him goodnight as he jumped
Cor the last platform.
Then 1 went into the dimly light
ed station and looked about for any
prospective companions. Nobody
was visible except a sandy-haired,
freckled-faced man at the telegraph
instrument.
Where are the others?' Inquired
much surprised.
"'Others what?' he answered.
Why the others the brakeman
lold me were here? The telegraph
operator, the station agent, the bag
gagemaster, the train dispatcher. the
storekeeper, the
"The man at the instrument be.
gan TO grin.
What's the matter?' l asked.
That darn brakeman he said
He's the only agreeable thing I'ye
seen around here put in, in de-
fense Of my friend. He said those
men would be here until the next
train comes
And they will,' said the man.
We'll, where are they?' asked
with considerable aspertty.
"rhe sandy-haired man stood up
and tapped himself on the chest.
'Them's me, he smiled; come in
and set down with u.s.
And l did for four mortal hours. 1"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

hAhDhNlNu COffEh ~ Equal THE BEST
sTEEL-ENGISEERS AsToNI5HRD.
About year ago it was announced
that the secret of the lost art of harden
ing copper and the manufacture of
edge tools out of it, egual, if not super
ior, to the best steel, had been dis
covered by poor blacksmith at Lewis
named Allsrd, but after the first pub.
more was heard about 1t. 1t now APP
pears, however, that Allard has been at
Ottawa and in the United States, and
that he has received large offers to sell
his secret. 1t is stated that at Ottawa
he exhibited specimens of his copper
to SIR John Abbott and Major General
Herb bert, who were both astonished at
their edge and hardness, as we'll as
were also the engineers to whose in
spection they were submitted.
Impressed with the possibility of the
discovery being utilizable for the
armoring of war vessels, General Her
bert suggested to allow him to harden
a sheet OF copper of one and three
fourth inches in thickness, and to have
its powers of resistance tested at the
rife ranges at st. Joseph de Lewis, which
seems to have lately been done, when
the first bullet fred against the sheet
ct forty yards distance was shivered
into thousand fragments, and the
second was completely fsttened, but
remained imbedded in the copper,
which is slightly dinged, but did not
crack in any way. This result Is re-
Rarded as very successful.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
ABOUT THREAD-MA
Old You Ever Wonder How she Differont
sizes Were Numbered?

A prominent thread manufacturer
said to our reporter: 'Our house was
originally a Scotch one, and even now
has factories in Scotland and in To
ronto A branch was esta blished in
Newark, \. J., about thirteen years
ago, but the business was by no means
go extensive as it is now, until last
January, when a large mill and an
entirely new plant was put in. The
direct reason for this move was the
passing of the Mckinley bill. which
made it almost impossible for foreign
makers to do any business iD this
country
''BY the way did YOU ever examine
into the process of manufacturing a
spool of thread? 1t looks simple, but
Ia reality it is a very complicated
process. Only the very best Sea IS
land cotton can be used for this pur-
pose. The cotton is taken in the raw
state and torn all to pieces by ma
chine called a breaker 1t then
goes through several other machines,
by which it is carefully combed and
freed from impurities. A machine
called d slipper then takes 1t up and
twists it out into soft white yarn.
This is carefully combed again, and
1t is taken into another department,
where several small strands of this
yarn are twisted into one fine one.
Three of these are twisted together,
and you then have six cord thread,
which after it is bleached, is ready
for the market.
another interesting thing is the
numbering of the thread. Every lady
knows the size Of thread that she re-
quires for doing a certain piece OF
work, but very few of them know how
1t came to be so numbered. You see,
when cotton thread was first made
$40 yards of it weighed one pound.
This was called No. l, and if poEnd
contained just twice this number of
yards it was called No. ., AMI SO on.
Until sewing machines were intro
duced only three-cord thread was made
but their introduction demanded a
smoother and finer article. The num-
bers were left the same, but the six
cord thread had to be made of strands
just twice as fine as those of the old
article. American ANALYST.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

Lawyer-Hurrah! Let me con-
gratulate you? You are the luckiest
of mortals. Thanks to my skill,
have obtained judgment in your
favor in the Supreme Court.
Client-After nine long years.
but, my dear fellow, better late
than never"
"How much do L get?" asked the
client anxiously.
THE court DEGREES that you shall
receive $4,000. The costs and my
fee will only amount to So, 900, SO all
you will have to pay me is 81, OOO."
"Merciful heavens! and I must lose
money besides?
"Of course, you lose your money,
but console yourself. You have
gained your case. You can't expect
to gain everything. Arkansas Trav.
eler,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
THE EMERALD VASE.

In the cathedral at Genoa there is an
emerald vase which is said to have
been one of the gifts of the Queen of
Sheba to Solomon. Its authentic his
tory goes back 80 years.
The tradition is that when KinL
Solomon received it he filed it with an
elixir which he alone knew how to dis
til, and of which single drop would
prolong human life to an indefinite ex-
tent.
A miserable criminal, dying of slow
disease IN prison, besought the King to
give him a drop of the magic po-
ton.
Solomon refused. "Why should
prolong so useless life?" he said. 81
will give it to those whose lives will
bless their fellow men"
But when go d men begged for it the
king was In an i'll humor, or too indo-
lent to open the vase, or he promised
and forgot. So the years passed until
he grew old, and many of the friends
! whom he loved were dead; and still the
vase had never been opened.
Then the King to excuse himself,
threw doubt upon the virtues of the
elixir.
At last he himself fell i'll. Then hi
servants brought him the vase that he
might save his own life. he opened
Ii but it was empty. The elixir had
evaporated to the last drop.
Did not the rabbi or priest who in.
vented this story intend to convey in il
II great truth?
Have We not all within us a vesseI
more precious than any emerald, into
which God has put a portion of the
water of life? 1t is for our own heal
ing-the healing of others. We hide
1t, we do not use it-fro false shame,
or idleness, Or forgetfulness. Present.
ly we begin to doubt its efficacy.
When death approaches we turn to
! it in desperate haste. But the neglect.
ed faith has left the soul. The vase
is empty Youths Companion.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

HENRY B. cLEAvEs- er's boy in 1862,
when, as a private, he enlisted in
Company B of the Twenty third
MSine Volunteers, and for bravery
in battle was offered a commission
in the regular army. He commenced
the study Of law in 1868, and in due
time was admitted to the bar. Gen.
Cleaves was member of the Legisla-
ture in 1875 and 1877. In 1877 he
was made city solicitor of Portland,
and In 1880 was elected Attorney
General of the State.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

The exact measure Of IN oath,
Doth in money and punishment, was
taken at Lebanon, Pa, the other
day. John A. Sattazahn was heard
to utter nine separate and distinct
oaths-"not cuss words but big oaths,
as the prosecutor put it. Alderman
Miller figured out that the communi-
ty had been damaged s7.67 worth by
the prisoners utterances, or at the
rate of fraction less than s5t cents
tor each swear. Sattazahn couldn't
produce the money, and he was sent
to jail for eleven days, or at the rate
Of twenty-nine and half hours i'm
prisonment for each offense.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
IpnoCent.

Police Judge Ito prisoneT-And
what are you doing here, sir?
Prisoner-I don't know, your honor.
Ask the policeman. I'm sure / didn't
want tc come.-Detroit Free Press.
The shortest street in the W rid is
Mansion House street in the city OF
London.
A re ident of Stamford, n. Y, is the
proud possessor OF rare relic OF the
Revolutionary War-nothiny less than
the watch which Major Andre offered
IS ransom TO his captors. .-l .fr 81
There are people who shiyer everg
time they hear that there are spots on
tha sun. 81
Window glass was used in Italy IN
churches in the eleventh century. in
English houses in 1861.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
1T WAS TOO TRYING.

The9 were standing by the window
looking out at the golden sunset. His
arm was around her slender waist, and
her head rested ccnfidIngly on his
manly shoulder. Life looked rosy to
the youthful pair, and not a visible
cloud obscured the bright armament
of their hopes.
"Perseus," she murmured, SIT seems
almost incredible that we never met
until three weeks ago."
1T does indeed, Andromeds,n re-
Piled the youth, I'VE have bad
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

There is but one pauper in the town
of Whitneyyille, Me, and that one is
festive widow who looks out for
herself ten months in the year. 1t is
evident that she will soon be entirely
independent, for her last request OF
the overseers reads as follows:
''Please send me ten yards of red rib
bon and new dress, and let the
dress be good enough to wear as
principal at a wedding.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
Twas EeslIv AmnsLnS.

She (after the service)-You dread
ful fellow! Why did you smile during
the offertory?
He-I couldn't help IL. There was
Miss Addie Pose singing "Had I the
Wings Of Dove" The mental pic
ture of twelve-stoner trying to fly
with a pair Of four-iuch wings was
too much for me. --Pearson's Weekly
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

The exact physical centre of the
United States is the stone at Fort
Riley, Kan, which marks the grave OF
Major ogden, who died of cholera ir
1856.
Russia has the largest ermored war
shin afioat. The vessel is the Ruric
Ttbe name of the hero of the "Gunma'
ker of Moscow, and is of II, 900 ton
mage.
There are infinite varieties not Only
In mems mental powers, but IN thelT
moral natures as well; therefore no one
standard can be equally applicable for
all.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
CurtaIIing the Cost.

Closefst-You don catch ne Civ
Ing an architect 81, 900 to plan a
house. I'll dig the cellar, draw on
some timbers and then go down there
with my shorthand clerk aid ii won't
NoSt me blamed cent.
Hanks-What can the clerk dos
ClOsefist-Take down the advice
given me by my ueighbors. Truth.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
Unsophisticated-

Mr.. Cooper-SorTy the servant is
out. Have TO wait on the door my.
self
Mr.. Hooper-She will be along in
a moment. She's coming up the
street now, with an elegant jag on.
Mr.. Cooper-You don't say so! J
shouldn't be bit surprised il it were
one Of NY wife's,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

Maine, was born
in Bird gton ,
Me-, 81 years
a o, and re.
ceived his edu.
cation IN the
common schools
of his native
town and in the
local academy.
He was a farm
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
hinEley " on.

Mrs. Bingo (severelY Il should
like to know where you were las
pight?
Bingo--Wel, if the truth must be
told, l was playing poker with King
ley, and, my dear, the last jackpot
bet him a new bonnet for you against
i new bonnet for his wife.
Mrs. Bingo-Yes, my dear, and yon
won?
Bingo-Well, you Just wait until
you see his wife next Sunday.-Lifc
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

'It said that an honest man is the
noblest work of God. WHAT do YOU
think is the noblest work OF MANI"
well, my notion OF it is that an
honest dollar will be about right
when he makes il Boston Post.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
How the Work D., Covered.

Bumpus-The doctors make very
bungling work Of some OF their cases.
McSmith--Yes; but in such case:
their work IS always well covered.
Bumpus-By whom?
McSmith-By the undertaken.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
A Monopoly.

Juno-I want a couple OF your
strongest winds to raise a storm on
the Atlantic Immediately.
Aolus-I am sorry, madam; but
all our strongest winds have been in
use in Chicago since the Worlds Fair
was located therc.-Puck.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
HUMOROUS SELECTIONS.
GATHERED BY OUR PATENTED
REAPER.

Jokes OF Preachers, Lawyers, DOctol-
ana Editors-some of Them Very Dry and
Others Somewhat Juicy-TheS VIII Aid
Digestion II Perused After Meals-Do
Not Read THEM Upon an Empty
stomach.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26
yONG-TAILED BIRDS,
Probably Evolved to Please japanese
Taste.

There is kind of Darwiniau evo-
luton in the long-tailed birds Of
Japan. Just as with US the breed of
cattle is improved by careful selec-
tion, so in Japan birds are selected
with tendency to tail profusion, and
the result of mating is the remarka-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-10-26

A drawf residing at Shigsken, in
Japan, is SO years old and but II
inches high. lie is we'll educated and
earns LIVELIHOOD by teaching penmsn.
ship.
A farmer near Martinsburg, Mo.
plowed up a perch in his iield some
time ago. and VIXEN be placed 1t in q
tub of water 1t revived and swan about
as lively as any fish.
Gas was first made from coal BY
Clayton, 1879, and was first used FOL
illumination in 1872.