The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-02-25
SCHOOL GIRL AND NOVEL

SCHOOL GIRL AND NOVEL.
A Most Thrilling Story and It. Eject an
Her Jaws.
She got into Woodward avenue
car going north at the opera housa
crossing, says the Detroit Free prasa
and was no sooner seated than sha
tore the paper off parcel and BEGAN
70 devour the contents of novel. At
the same time she took stick Of p,,m
from her pocket and stuffed it into l,,r
mouth =
First page-Somo slight exhibition
OF interest and vigorous efforts to %,
the gum rolled into u quid. 81:
Second page-Plot begins to devcl-
ope and interest increases. Move
ments of the jaw still regular.
Third page-Introduces the villain
and tho heroine. Heroine transcen.
dentally beautiful. villain an All chap.
Jaws now settling down to regular
business. .. 49,
Fourth page The villain gives away
to the reader his cold blooded plot to
carry the heroine off to a dungeon in
case she won't be his'n. Goes awav
for few days to put said dungeon in
order. Jaws now working as Steadily
as the pendulum of an old Connecticut
clock; school girl also crosses her
feet ."
Fifth page-Heroine n axes up her
mind not to marry the villain if the
court knows herself. She conceals a
butcher-knifei in the sleeve of her dress
and tries to calm her nerves by thrum-
ming the wild guitar. Jaws now keep
ing time with the revolutions of the
car wheels. three revolutions to one
chaw.
Sixth page-Enter the heroine's
father. Loves his daughter and all
that but has traded mules so often
that he IS now dead broke and the
house rent is due. Doesn't want TO
sacrifice her happiness but if she could
make up her mind to marry the villain
It would be sugar in his pocketa
Chaw! Chaw! Chaw!
Seventh page-Heroine bursts into
tears-real large tears-and throws
herself at her fathers feet He calm
ly uses her for a foot stool, and wants
10 know how in Texas they are going
to pay the grocer and butcher and RIM
two coal stoves on cheek. At that
very moment the sheriff may be knock
ing at the door. Listens intently. Very
exciting here. and the school girls
jaws skip cog-two of them.
Eighth page-Heroine dashes the
tears from her eyes and springs up to
exclaim:
Father [ can not do it. I do not
love fernando. even a. little bit, while
have solemnly promised to marry
ALT Smith! If you love me-if YOU
wish to'cater to my future,happiness-
go out and strike job and do a little
honest perspiring. love you father,
but fernando isn't in it!'' School girl
crosses and uncrosses her feet in ex-
element and breathes hard. Jaws a.
little off motion.
Ninth page-Old man retires to the
woodshed to sit and think, and the
heroine writes a letter to ALT to como
and get her at once if he wants her
Sends the note by the servant girl,
who loses it on the street and then
runs away for fear of results. While
waiting for ALT the heroine slips a re-
volver into her pocket and brings in
the family AK. School girl almost
swallows her gum in her excitement.
Tenth pase-Villain returns Dun
geon all prepared. Regular old home
made dungeon with all old-fashioned
ingredients. Heroine got to marry
him or away she goes. Given fifteen
seconds to make up her mind. She
kicks, and h% makes it seventeen.
Time expires and he demands her an.
swer. No, villain-never!" she
shouts He seizes her with .Ha"'
and she seizes the butcher-knife. He
then throws her over his shoulder to
bear her hence, when she takes a. firm
hold of tho knife, raises her arm, and
with ono blow!
Too much for the school girl She
has swallowed her gum and can hardly
get her breath. Decides to wait until
she gets home, puts the book up and
leans back to figure on how many feet
of that cold, cruel steel penetrated tho
bold, bad Herandos villainous heart