St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1892-03-24
FOR the Hnnlr.
REPRoVE YoUR CHILD PRIVATELY.

Probably most parents, even very
kindly ones. would be little startled
at the assertion that child ought
never to be reproved in the presence
of others. This is SO constant an
occurrence that nobody thinks Of no.
ticing it nobody thinks of consider
ing whether it be right and best, or
not But it is a great rudeness to
child. l am entirely sure it ought
never to be done Modification is a
condition as unwholesome as it is
uncomfortable When the wound is
inflicted bv the hand of parent, it
is all the more certain to rankle and
do harm. Let child see that its
mother is so anxious that he should
have the appreciation and goodwill
of her friends that she will not call
their attention to his faults; and
that while she never under any cir
cumstances allows herself to forget
to tell him afterward, alone, if he has
behaved improperly, she will spare
him the additional pain and mOrtl-
hcation of public reproof; and, while
that child will lay these secret re-
proofs to heart, he will still be
happy.
l know a mother who had the in
sight to see this, and the patience to
make it a rule; for it takes far more
mon method.
Once 1 saw Their little boy behave
so boisterously and rudely at the
dinner table, in the presence of guests,
that said to myself, Surely, this
time she will have to break her rule,
and reprove him publicly" | saw
several Geographic signals of rebuke,
entreaty, and warning flash from her
gentle eyes to his; but nothing did
any good. Nature was too much
for him he could not at that minute
force himself to be quiet. Presently
she said, in a perfectly easy and nat
ural tone, 30 Charley, come here a
minute! | want to tell you some
thing" No one at the table sup
posed that it had anything to do
with his bad behavior. She did not
intend that they should. AS she
whispered to him, | alone saw his
cheek flush, and that he looked quick
ly and imploringly into her face; [
alone saw that tears were almost in
her eyes But she shook her head,
and he went back to his seat with a
manful but very red little face. In
moment he laid down his knife and
fork, and said, Mama, will you
please to excuse me ?""C Certainly, my
dear" said she. Nobody but | I'M
derstood it, or that the little fellow
had to run very fast to get out of
the room without crying. After
ward she told me that she never sent
a child away from the table in any
other way. But what would you
do said l, ''if he were to refuse to ask
to be excused ?'' Then the tears
stood full In her eyes. DO you think
he could" she replied, when he sees
that am only trying to save him
from pain ?" In the evening Charley
sat in my lap, and was very sober.
At last he whispered to me, III tell
you an awful secret, if you won't tell.
Did you think had done my dinner
this afternoon when | got excused
Well, | hadn't Mama made me, be-
cause I acted so. That's the way
she always does. But l haven't had
to have it done to me before for ever
so long-not since | was a little fell
low" Che was eight now land l
don't believe l ever shall again till
Pm a man." then he added, reflective
ly: MARY brought me all the rest of
nv dinner upstairs; but | wouldn't
touch it, only little bit of the ice
cream. l don't think | deserved any
at all, do you ~
When we consider seriously what
ought to be the nature of reproof
oh hof
is it's end, the answer is simple
enough 1t should be nothing but
the superior wisdom and strength,
explaining to inexperience and feeble
ness wherein they have made a mis-
take, to the end that they avoid such
mistakes in future. If personal an
nOyance, Impotence, antagOn1sm,
enter in, the relation is marred and
the end endangered. Most sacred
and inalienable of all rights is the
right of helplesSnesS to protection
from the strong, of ignorance to
counsel from the wise. II we give
our protection and counsel grudging
Nv, or in a churlisb, unkind manner,
even to the stranger that is in our
gates, we are no Christians, and de-
serve to be stripped of what little
wisdom and strength we have hoard
ed. But there are no words to say
what we are or what we deserve ii
we do thus to the little children
whom we have dared, for our own
pleasure. to bring into the perils of
this life, and whose whole future
may be blighted by the mistakes of
our careless hands.-[From Bits of
Home Talk by Helen Hunt Jackson.