The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-04-10
Bah IN WASHINGTON.
She GETS POLITICAL AND MAKES
a PRESIDENTIAL TICKET.

| Her Owp Presiden tial Ticket Why
Democrats are Unwise-Senators
| Who Are More Interested in Pink
Petticoats Than Bering sea Matters.
Politics and statesmen as Seen by
Clever Women-The Darlings ~ of
Senatorial Hearts-A Few Good
Things and What They Are.
0Copyrt9ht)
WASHINGTON, April 9.-After you have
meandered about for while, and have
| grown spiritual over the beauty of byways
and the loveliness of secluded spots you sud-
denly discover that you want something to
eat. And the one place TO get it is here-at
least, think so. And have had consider
able experience in this search after what is
and what is not most appetizing. Here
where the gentle terraptn frisks, where the
canvas-back duck makes love to his neigh
Dor, where nobody cares whether hot bread
is digestible or not, and where real coffee
is gotten, man lives longer, is happier, and
when he is happy he's such nice fellow to
know.
Bah DOESN'T LIKE SENATOR HILL.
Being an American, have few objects
|
the good of my country. AS the machine
CLICKS, it seems TO hint that the best thing
could do for my country would be TO stop
| talking. But that's where the machine and
| disagree. What l came to Washington
for, besides getting something to eat, was
| to look at the politicians. didn't care how
| they were served, whether they we're en-
brochette, or whether they came in a mere
ordinary fashion out Of frying pan. but
did want to see them before they got quite
| Into the fire. There were doubts in my
mind as to who should run on the demo-
cratic ticket. l wanted to gain my convic-
| tlons in that CITY of which each one of US
own brick, and did. saw Senator Hill.
| When Nature built Mr.. Hill, and con-
structed his eyes, it had a ferret In view;
when art got hold of him and made his
| head bald, the opportunity for an advertise
| ment of some good soap was dreamed of.
And when he learned to walk somebody
had just whispered to him: my boy, you
are little tin god on wheels" and he hasn't
got that notion knocked out of his head,
| and it shows In his feet. You see the
trouble is that Mr.. Hill as a presidential
candidate bloomed too early-he looks
nipped in the bud. Between you and me,
and we are just two women fools talking
politics. Mr.. Hill looks as if he would be
out of place In the white house. He looks
selfish man, and he hasn't got wife, and
| my IduhAuhLo udb kOI W Do d UDdTTlbu Iuhh.
So l took my little Blue Book, and
opposite the name of Hill l wrote: IN.
g. Looks as if he didn't come Of good
stock"
WHY DEMOCRATS LACK WISDOM.
The next on the programme was German
of Maryland-good stock, well fed, speaks
we'll, but the states too little. So opposite
Germans name l had TO write, II never
nursed dear gazelle to glad me with its
soft, sweet eyes," etc.
Then l stood IN the capitol, and saws I
to myself, says |, "What fools these DEM
ocrats are! When they were in office, why
didn't they kick out every republican who
was in2 Then they would be Presidents
| to-day. AS IL was, they fiddled and
faddled and treated their friends like
hounds and beat them, and I'll be jiggered,
If were man and democrat. if l wouldn't
vote for the Republican party simply be-
| cause OF their determination to stand by
each other. OF course they amount to a
big, solid vote when they do that, and
| equally, of course, they get what they want.
L am seriously thinking myself Of going out
and sitting on the grave of my ancestors
and complaining to them for having me
born democrat. I'll either do that or else
pll be changed at my birth. Friends aud
fellow citizens! This sounds like stump
speech, but it isn't.
BAB's PRESIDENTIAL TICKET.
There are only two men that YOU can mt
on the democratic ticket and be certain Of
having gentlemen to represent you, and
they are-Carlisle and Whitney, Brains
and Doodle! l assure you as fellow wo-
man that this is the only conclusion
that can be reached by tour
among the politicians. 1t isn't quite certain
| whether women grow up with the west
or not. but there is one thing certain, and
that is that the west turns out some of the
| handsomest men l have ever seen in my life
| 1t agrees better with men than it does with
womsn-great, big, splendid looking ami
mails, with sweet voices and manners so
cordial that, if they do lack little bit the
perfect finish Of the east, you forgive it, for
| the reason that woman always forgiVes
what she admires.
| THE NEW CONGRESsMAN'S WIFE.
It's funny here to see how the new con-
gresham and his wife are learning the ways
of the world. and funnier still to notice how
| quiet he is in discovering just what is right
| to do and how precious anxious she is to
start out with thinking that she knows it
all. What lovely tumble she does have!
| Feminine ambition reaches out to anything
even TO the flag on the top of the capitol !;
masculine ambition, which is slower, usually
| gets Just what it wants. A seal coat;
| gold chain, with locket worn outside it,
| the locket containing her loved ones pict-
ure, is a mode of outdoor wrap fancied by
the newly-elected. Bless her dear heart,
she doesn't know that half the time the pict-
ure Of some other woman is printed on the
| heart of her husband in colors that, while
they may not endure, still are very strong
for the time being. Do / believe there is
any beautiful lobbyist in Washington l
| do not; but think there is no end of pretty
women who have nothing to do but dress
well, get themselves mixed up in that de-
| lightful pastime which Satan finds for idle
heads, empty hearts and light brains.
THE POLITICIAN AND HIS WIFE.
If you happen TO be the woman who
thinks that a politician is in love with you
because you are brighter, because you have
more chic, and because you don't mortify
him as his wife may do, disabuse yourself
Of the idea that you are going to hold him
now and forever. Next season his wife will
know just what she ought and she will be
mistress of the sltuation-he'll suddenly dis
cover her cleverness aud you will be- lust
what you deser ve-left. That's slang, but
it's expressive Men. my wicked little
| friend are thousand times more faithful
than women, and they always come
back to the wife and tie mother OF
their children. She holds the strongest tie
| she has the first claim-and although you
may have him for your slave for one, two,
or three seasons, there always comes a day
when he wants to go back to his wife.
| No., - ~