The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-01-03
MANS SEVEN ACES
A Distinctfvely Modern View of a Theme
Illustrated by Shakespeare.
s'Mrs. Jones has baby" -
s0rhe derlce Won sayt;'


'aThe deuce you say!'
"Fact."
"Girl or boyf"
"Boy."
Lets hunt up old Jonesey and make
him set 'em up"
So is ushered into the world Baby Jones,
very red and hungry, and very much
troubled with insomnia. The former
grows on him, and, on wearing of the lat
ter, Papa Jones loses his hair and several
some of her good looks.
"Pays" says Papa Jones in astonish-
ment do babies pay? Well, l should
say they did,
''Pay?" says Mamma Jones; "why, the
whole world could not buy him"
And so Baby Jones becomes Willie Jones,
and with his little primer and immaculate
tie marches proudly to school. rhereupon
the boys 'christen" his new shoes by spit
ting on them, anc they soil his white tie
rolling him over in the sand. And Willie
Jones cries and teacher comforts him by
telling him to sit on the platform and by
calling his tormentors "bad boys" And
they grin and look ashamed.
But Father Time keeps his scythe
a-swing, and 10! Billy Jones is in the high
school. Billy the Kid he is called now,
and he nearly breaks his mothers heart
one day because she sees him smoking a
cigarette and evidently enjoying it. Billy
Jones is also inclined to partake of the
fruit of his neighbours pear tree, said fruit
being obtained after dark.
Will Jones is a different boy few years
after His graduation from the high school.
Life has become aquestion of neckties and
fits on clothes. He ushers strangers into
seats at the C hurch of the Dan and Beer
sheba Pilgrims. He leads the German,
and one day Deacon Potts is panied to see
him coming out of a bucket shop, where
he has taken flyer on wheat.
William Jones, aged forty, is the cashier
of the Hightop National bank. Mr.. Jones
is known as one of our best and brainest
business men. Mrs. Jones speaks of him
as MIR. Jones, or William, and Deacon
Potts takes his advice on the investment
of few hundred dollars he has laid by.
They talk of running him for the legisla-
ture, and The Evening Squash has doomed
him for mayor The little ones call him
papa, and run to meet him at night when
he comes home.
"You know old Bill Jones7 Hewas tell
ing me the other day how he used to play
ball where the postoffice now stands. He's
jolly old fellow, tell you. Told about
helping to pitch teacher out of the win
dow when he was a boy, about forty or
fifty years ago"
Bill is a jolly old boy. Kept the com
pany in roar at his daughters wedding
with his stories. They say Bill has laid by
81 !. l. Ill
boy is Bill. He has accumulated quite a
stock of experience, at any rate, and is al
ways ready with word of counsel, if you
ask his advice.
Seventy-fve years old today is "Old Bill
JONES'" or "Old Billy JONES'" as his
younger friends love to call him. There is
no term of reproach in familiarity unless it
is used by the thoughtless or inconsiderate.
His old friends have dropped by the way
side one by one, and old Bill Jones is the
last leaf on the tree. 1t is well ripened by
time and frost, and the first breath of win
ter will detach him gently, and he will fall
to his parent earth in sweet peace. "Old
Bill Jonesr He has done his work well,
and he is ready to go. He wonders if he
will meet the old boys again and talk over
the old days. His. mind is much on his
youth. He loves TO recall old associations.
The old voices are in his ears. He smiles
as he sees the children play.
Hello, colonel, whose grave is this you
are flling?"
civilian Jones', sir"
"What? Old Billy Jones? Well, well.
So he has gone. But he lived to good old
age. Let's see, seventy eight years. three
months the stone saws don't it? That's
doing pretty well in these times. Jones
was good old fellow, though. | remem
Der hearing my father tell how Jones let
him have $1,000 once tn tide him over a
crisis and he never took a bit of security.
He and father were great friends once.
How long ago? Oh, that must have been
twenty or twenty-five years back. Fathers
been dead eighteen years. Well, good luck
TO him wherever he is. Good day. MIN
neapolis journal.