Middletown transcript., 1892-09-15
MIR. AND MRS. BowsER.
THEY PLAY A GAME OF CROQUET
WHICH MRS. BOWSER WINS.

What was in that box which
came up this afternoon :? queried Mrs.
Bowser as Mr.. Bowser came home
the other evening.
That box ! Mrs. Bowser, did you
ever hear of the game of croquet ?
You haven't bought croquet
set? ?"
Haven't L? In about half an hour
from now I'll be proving to you that
what you don't know about croquet
would make a large book. Mrs.
Bowser, I've got tired of your brag-
ging about how you used to beat
every one in four counties"
+" But never Dragged, and you
know we hadn't been married but
eight days when-when" -
"When what? We started in to
play game of croquet, but you were
SO bound and determined to beat me
that walked off. Yes, l remember
all about it, and ! want to give you
little pointer. If you can't play
fair, don't play at all"
"I'm SO sorry you brought the set
home Couldn't you take it back and
exchange it for clotheslines I"
"Sorry! Clotheslines /! What on
earth is the matter with you ? It's
got to pretty pass if two old mar
ried people like US cant 60 out and
knock few painted balls around
the yard without cutting each others
throats over it! You may get mad,
but l shan't. 1 simply want to take
some of the brag out of you"
1t was with many misgivings that
Mrs. Bowser donned her hat and as
sisted to set up the arches. Mr.. Bow.
ser, on the CONTRARY, was full of en-
thusiasm and anticipation.
Champion of four counties, eh?
Well see about that If I don't beat
you out of sight in this game you can
order ten new hats to morrow |"
But if l beat you, you'll"-
"Get mad? Not a mad I'm not
that sort of a man, as you ought to
know by this time. If you beat me
I'll even praise your skill. You may
have the first shot. Hold on, now
What are you going through both
arches at once for ?"
Why, I've a right to. Every
PLAYER makes both arches if he can" j"
"All right-go ahead. I'll give
you every advantage and then beat
you by half. What sort of a move
do you call that p
| "It's a regular move. It's my
play to go through the side arch,
isn't it?'
| Not in that skewjawed fashion
but go ahead. Here-what are you
doing?"
"I'm going through the middle
arch, of course. There it goes.
call that a good shot,
"All right; it's your last arch
It's simply a run of luck and no skill
about it. There-stop right there
You can't play no such game on me
as that!
"What games | simply wen
through the arches and hit the stake
and it was beautiful shot too"
"But it was a dead swindle 7
shouted Mr. Bowser as he waved hi
mallet in the air.
"It's the rule as laid down, Mr.
+ Bowser, aud now I've got you jus
half white washed"
"You have. eh i? More of you
brag It's your last shot, Mrs. Bow
J ser, and don't you move that ball th'
: billionth part of an inch, either
There-you've missed! / told you i
was only run of luck. Stand aside
, now, and I'll show you how to play
f croquet. There p
1t was very po or there " TO
t Mr.. Bowser. His ball struck th
| first arch and rolled fifteen feet away
and Mrs. Bowser clapped her hand
f and glee!ully exclaimed:
i i" You missed you missed Now
shall surely whitewash you p
: "That's it! Jump up and dowl
: and yell and scream like girl tel
!. years old ! The mallet slipped just a
! I struck and I'll try it over again."
5 "You can't do it! If the bal
s moves at all you can't take it over !"
, "Can't II I'd like to know why
I've put up with full dozen of you
tricks since this game opened, Mrs
8 Bowser, but can't stand too much
There! Now you watch my smoke
+ I'll show you little trick you neve
!. saw before"
D This time the ball went to the lef
: of the first arch and did not stoI
!. under thirty feet, and Mrs. Bowse
! had to clap her hands again and re
: joice.
0 "Poor, foolish woman Can't yol
0 see I'm only toying with you to max
n your defeat all the more bitter ?
growled Mr.. Bowser. az told yo