The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1892-04-07

10th April, 1870
Roses cough grows more and mort
distressing. and the effect on me IL
strange. offer to try and relieve her,
but she repulses me, and | do not feel
vsxed. Her jealousy increases, and is.
think. the worst side Of her illness
but unfortunately it is not mortal ]
dreamed that she was no more and
wonder what emotion experienced on
awakening.
goth and 2Ist April, 1876.
saw the Princess yesterday, but she
did not give me a single glance. moi
even one of pity. Had I not already
admitted that she did not care for me
my doubts would have been confirmed.
She swept past in her splendid equi
page. with a young friend, whom ]
know not, at her side, who seemed &c
be re counting to her some amusing
story. for she smiled more than usual
hsr eyes even sparkled. The idea seized
me To follow them and I rushed after
the carriage like n mailman, but when
reached the Bots de BOulogne I lost
Ut vi utcobh
again and pursued my way at hazard in
the direction of the Alice dies Acacias.
She was there on foot, no longer with
Der young friend, but in the company
of two or three well-dressed men who
ware looking at her. cannot say how,
but in a way that greatly displeased
me. | could not bear it long and
turned my eyes away. Alas, at the
same time my situation appeared to me
in all its wretchedness and could not
restrain sob which rose in my breast.
held out my arms to her from the
bushes in which l was concealed, and
fell TO the ground like drunken man.
She passed on without seeing me. and
thought heard this fragment Of con-
yersation which makes me culver yet:
You promise it to me, Princess?'
And her soft, sweet voice answered
yes"
What? What do you promise?
must know. But she had already
passed on.
Then lost consciousness. At night
fall was awakened by one of the park
police, who shook me by the shoulder,
called me drunkard and roughly told
me to leave the wood.
l replied humbly that l was not
drunk and returned to my modest
apartment How much pain suffered
during the journey! My head was
burning, my limbs refused to carry me.
and | stumbled at every step. Rose
had her supper, and was trying to get
Zanette to sleep.
''How late you are" she grumbled;
there is what remains from dinner"
Yes" answered quietly; but am
not hungry and need nothing. / shall
go to bed. ood-night." l was con-
sumed with burning fever. but to-day
l am better. 1t is raining and storm
ing outside, and have had the time to
write little. All, Princess, w I'D /
could be sure that your smile yesterday
was one of joy, and that you were tax
ing a real interest in what you were
hearing!
27th April, 1879.
How unjust you are toward IN! II
only, some day But no. I am
and yet l am awake, and
from this dream there Is no awakening
except death. She came again. and I |
have seen her. but that Ia all. She can
not possibly doubt the existence Of my
passion, which she has created and |
keeps alive.
Horrible thought miserable bias
phemyi Suzanne will never be mine,
and mutter continually, in spite of |
myself. II only she could understand |
me!
We shall give but few more extracts |
from Julien's journal. in which he did
not seek to hide the ENTHUSIASM of his /
intense love. His diary becomes mono |
tonous and has no interest except for /
the author Of Il. who found relief in
writing it, from his futile and hopeless /
passion
The Princess even began to be aware
Of the sentiments of the former cabin /
boy toward her and felt annoyed. Her
visits became rarer and rarer, and were /
made solely TO reassure her that Rose
was well cared for; but all conversation
which Julien attempted to c. - with
IN air Of intimacy was carefully avoid
ID. much TO his disappointment. Rose
was not deceived. She well knew that
her husbands heart had become entire
" estranged from her, and she became
still worse Shefelt the END approach
ng and wept over Zanette, so soon to
be bereft OF a mothers love Julien.
blinded by his passion, did not even
perceive her tears.
As we follow step by step. the mystsri-
rus tragedy slowly unfolding itself In
his melancholy household. we find In
his Journal an exact account Of tbs
strange inner workings of his soul. re-
-ealing a careless cruelty, cynically
in the incoherent
oppression Of fevered brain dominated
" the one thought Of his love.