Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-03-31
/" REAL HUMOR."
But Then 1t Did Not Seem to BE Duly
Appreciated.

But Then It Did Not Seem to Be Duly
Appreciated.
Scan I stay here and sleep on a
lounge tonight" asked sad-faced
young man as he walked into the Dress
club last evening and joined a group of
reporters. I've got to. anyway,
whether I can or not I'm a. victim
of the boomerang April-fool joke It
started in like this: ] was just getting
my comfortable second nap this morn
ing when call came ON my door and
the voice of the lanal&dy notified me
that the postman was below with
registered letter for which I must give
a receipt in persen. Had I been good
and awake 1 would not have been
caught by such . TRANSPARENT joke, but
1 was just stupid enough to hustle into
portion of Hey clothes and tramp
downstairs. where everybody hailed ne
with that Cd chestnut about april
fool
II went. back 70 my reem. sere in
spirit, and kept thinking Of o plan
to getaevea all through the day. BY
afterneen + Lad the thing all fixed up
and proceeded to work ept my plan.
1 went home between FIVE and SIS and
took occasion to NOPE about fer q lit
tie, while. making all the folks see me
and notice nay guinness. 1 was the
very enrichment of wee and would
only respond in mepesy1lables Then
L wentto my room, taek elf my coat
and vest AID pat a streak OF red ghast-'
ly grease paint aeress my neck resem-
bling slash with razer. In addition
to this I put red spot On my shirt
front, ana then. grasping 8 razor in 1isy
left hanaeethe blade elettea with ini-
tation bl6ad@sapd 9 revolver in nay
right, fired two blank cartridges, let.
d wall Out Of nae, staggered aad fell
with O. thug to the Heer. Thare1 lay,
With, tBe revolver firmly grasped in
my rssssiAt hand and the razor in my left
'Ip o second I heard feminine
screams and pattering footsteps ON the
stairs. Then the landtadS and two or
TIRES married wemep and the servants
breka into fY ro6m. saw my blood
stained corpse stretched cut On the
floor, and set ue an assortment Of
shrieks whieh made the pictures turn,
face to tho wall. Then heard some
means aid a woman feppea to the
floor ia a. faint. Mere means and an
other Topped. The fandlazlx and her
sister came to me and bent ever me
first thing knew the sister let loose a
little wttal and fell across my stomach.
In about,a second the laadladN herself
across my neck, whereupan the servant
girls turned and fed with shrieks.
81 dragged myself fram beneath the
forms of my sympathizers and sat, up.
It was beautiful sight -Four women
dumped down on tae floor regardless
of appearances, seme of them with
their noses punctering the carpet ana
some, tied in knots. i threw a 4glassful
of water in each woman's face, aid lit
Ia cigarette and watched 'em come to.
They opened their eyes about. the same
time. and pretty soon sat up and locked
about EN-. / watched their faces, and
when L saw that they had about got!
their hearings l blithely remarked:
April feel and rubbed the, red grease
paintooH my meek with towel Just
then the Servant girls returned with q
policeman and came charging upstairs
happened to knew hi,n and gave him
wink, and told him it was mistake;
that enc Of the boys had worked a, St
+ tie April-foal joke on the folks, and he
went away. But the women turned ia
and abused me scandaleus. aad the
lapd1aay erderea me out of the house
at ones. TIE escape their wrath lied,
and when 1 sneaked back after supper
found my trunk on the doorstep with a
note tackled te it ordering me net to try
to enter en pain of beiag murdered in
say BED
That's why I'm here. When WI
The American people learn to appre-
eiata real burner? That's what want
to kneeso Chicago Mail