Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-12-22
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughable.
Tea-Table Talk.

AtchlS0n Globe.
The ascent of the balloon is gen
orally a soar point with the aeronaut.
-Binghamton Leader.
THE mariner who scours the sea in
all sorts of weather needs great
deal of sand Lowell Courier.
THE man who does not comb his
hair looks best with chrysanthemum
in his button-hole. -Picayune
WHEN man undertakes a piece Of
tickliSh business he never feels like
laughing. Chicago Inter Ocean
OUR "hopeful" called his schoolms-
tress Experience, because she's such
"dear teacher. Boston Courier.
81 FEEL quite justified in claiming
to be man of deep research" said
the submarine diver. Washington
Star
SPoRTEEM-Is McQuick, the sprint
er, an amateur? Knowem-Ye s-siree
"a regular professional amateur. -
New York Weekly.
WIFE-Why do you buy such lot
of stamps at once? Husband-So
there'll be few that won't get stuck
together. New York Weekly.
What shall | sing for you,
Jack? Jack-Have you song with
a refrain? Clara Yes. blackwell,
then, please refrain. " Wonder.
NEARLY every man who is fool
has a faint suspicion of it, but in try
ing to prove that he is not fool he
gets in deeper -Atchison Globe.
JAGsoN says that "never trust a
man till you know him" is good adj
vice, but you never know some men
till you trust them. -Elmira Gazette.
THE speed OF railway trains is
people on bridal tours regard the
tunnel as a nuisance. Washington
| Star.
The medical men say that klepto-
| mania is a disease. We have observed
| that it's victims are always taking
something for it. - BinghamtOn
Leader
"a FINE collection Of coins" is
what the judge remarked when the
prisoner had paid his 80 all in sill
yer, nickels and coppers. Yonkers
! Statesman.
| By serving ox-tail soup at the be-
ginning Of dinner and providing calfs
head jelly for dessert, a housekeeper
| can manage to make both ends meat.
|-Picayune.
| SCHOOL TEACHER-"Whyw were the
prisoners who were executed called
poor sinners?" SchoIar-"Bccause
rich sinners always get off. Der
| Hausfreund.
MoTnER-So you wish my daugh-
ter for your wife? He (gallantly) -
Partly that, madam, and partly that
| you may be my motherin-law De
troit Free Press
| OLD FRIEND (playfully)-And so
you married a Boston girl? Can you
| always understand her when she
talks? Mr.. Gotham -Um--not when
! she talks to the baby.
THE addition of a letter changes
the appropriate song of the season. 1t
| is now Meet me at the CRATE, love.
The gate is locked for the winter
season. Lancaster Examiner.
Mrs. REFORM Goyously)-Now that
| you have been elected to the City
| Council, | suppose We'll have decent
| drinking water at last. Mr.. r form
Yes, / can afford to have an "a
tesian well now.
WELL" said the good nat,l c |
man, as he sat in the restaurant.
that is a most commodating wait
| er. He probably thinks | am not
an appetite. Washington Star.
| LAwYER-The witness will now
| please state his vocation. You raise
chickens, do you not? 'Rastus H.
Clay with marked emotion) Deed
| doesn't, yo' honah, only oncet, an
den | clean forgot myself. Chicago
| News Record.
THE GEooM-You look envious.
old man? The best mani am.
The groom (happily surprising he ID
| the envied one)-Of whom? The
| best manor the minister. You
say you are going to give him hun
| dred. Brooklyn Life.
HERE is suggestion worth noting:
| In many cases, instead of annonnc-
ing woman's good deed with the
text, "She hath done what she
| could" quite as fitting text would
be, "She hath done what she thought
she couldn't. Chicago Standard
MRS. PUGGs-How is your son get
ting along, Mrs. Mugs? Mrs. Mugs
Fine. He's making money hand
over fist as a champion bicycle rider.
"But what will he do when that fad
wears 0ut?" by that time he expects
to be doubled up so that he can travel