, 1892-03-27

Blu things ave changed. As editor we
could do things which would be beneath
the dignity of the mayor. The crowd can
come in and shoot THE KICKER Office full
of holes, but their fun must stop right
there. As mayor we have a duty to per
form, and shall perform it. If the boys at
tempt to take the town we shall rally our
body guard and wipe out as many Of them
as possible. We shall shoot to kill, and
we can positively guarantee that from six
to ten of the gang will be left on the street
and buried at the expense of the town.
This town can't be run by outsiders. 1t
can't be run except according to the rules
and ordinances laid down.
We want the cowboys to get all possible
enjoyment out Of life, and we want every
citizen of the town to feel and realize that
it is good to be here, even IL they are dead
broke half the time, but there must be a
limit to the game. The gang who attempts
to monkey with the peace and order Of this
burg will find eight two handed shooters
on deck and loaded to the chin, and II any
get away 1t wort be our fault.
TOLD HIM Soon Wednesday night at
about II o'clock we were aroused from
peaceful slumbers by Major Turner tap
ping on the alley window and informing us
that the boys were going to hang Shoshone
Bill and wanted our rope and our assistance.
we were speedily urtSStu AMI en- route WlUU
the major to the usual spot. Three weeks
ago we dropped a gentle hint to Bill in our
local columns that he had struck the
wrong town and ought to move on. He
sent MS word that we were off our feed
and hadn't sized him up correctly. We
were pretty well satisfied that our diagno-
sis was correct and that the boys would soon
take n hand in, and we were right. Sho-
shone Bill WAS in the care of thirty deter
mined men, and like the average buffer
his sand was all gone. As editor of THE
KICKER we brought a rope, but as mayor
we advised the boys to give Bill one more
chance. He was elevated and lowered
times enough to give him q fair idea OF
what a regular hanging would be, and
then set free and headed to the west and
told to travel. He didn't stop to ask any
questions about the route, and there is no
fear OF his return.
THE KICKER has never made a mistake
on n man yet. When a chap who thinks he
is a bad man and goes bluffing around with
a chip on his shoulder sees a double loaded
notice in our local columns to the effect
that land can be had further west at fifty
cents an acre, he should take it as a hin
and start out to look for a farm. Those
who have been obstinate about it have met
with a surprise which was both sudden
and painful.
DoN'T WANT IT.-Our contemporary
down the street, failing to make the pub.
lie believe that we had to leave Connect
cut for stealing n COW, now charges us with
seeking to assassinhte the postmaster OF
this town SO as to secure his place We
could not secure the appointment even
should he resign in our favor. THE KICKEH
and Mr.. Wanamaker have always been an
%tagonistic. We don't like his way of run.
ming things. and he refuses to subscribe
for our paper. There is a yawning gull
between us, and neither Of us cares a con
mental cocked hat for the other.
True, we have shot the postmaster three
times, on three different occasions, and he
has shot at us at least a dozen times, but
those were side issues. No one can make
him believe we want his place, and we re-
fuse to believe that he inspired the article
referred to. We shall probably shoot him
again within a month If our mail is not de-
livered more promptly, but he will under
stand our motive and do us full justice.