Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-07-14
scIssored Smiles.

scIssored Smiles.
THE wise man keeps shady nova
days.-Philadelphia Record.
THE man with no music in his soul
should hire hand-organ. -Pfcayune.
REMAINS TO BE SEEN--At the
morgue. Commercial Bulle-
tin.
COMBINING pleasure with business
--sugar-coating pill.-Washington
Star.
STEALING away from bad company
Is justi1able acknowledgements
Leader.
CAMPAIGN badge, sir?" mo, do
not badger me. Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
WHEN a man has good horse sense
he doesn't bet on the races.-Bing-
hamton Republican.
A MANS days are numbered, but he
cannot recover any OF the back num-
bers.-Rochester Post.
THE man who wants to live in
clover need only buy lawn-mower.
Lineage lnLer ocean.
THE tramp may be all wool and
yard wide, but he is goods that Will
not wash.-Dallas News.
THE man who is the most awkward
at saying nice things is usually the
most sincere.-Atchison Globe.
THE cabbage crop is about the only
thing a farmer can raise to get a
head. -Binghamton Republican.
DUCK is to be favorite wear this
season, both for ladies and for gentle
men who are in the swim. -Lowell
Courier.
THE English language is being
rrthlessly pillaged by young people
about to commit graduation. Chi
cago News.
ONE place is just about as good as
another for man without any money.
In fact he is nowhere anywhere. -
Galveston News.
No TEST Of the bicycle was neces-
sary to demonstrate the value OF
wheeling in military tactics. st.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
IT is said that swallow can catch
] 5000 flies in day. What base
ball player the swallow would make.
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
THE latest contribution to astro-
, nomical science is that the moon reg
ularly has couple Of horns before
: getting full. Philadelphia Times.
as MARY good servant?" "In a
; misdirected sort of way. She dusts
the cobwebs off the wine bottles and
, leaves 'em everywhere else. Life.
Il sTAID until the curtain fell or
! the last act" Il think the curtain
: or something must have fallen on the
! first act. 1t was so fiat. Harper
Bazaar.
ON THE STEAMER: He-"I SHOULD
Judge that you were a typical sailor.
She-"Well, yes-that is, can, heav'
{ about everything except the anchor.
Cloak Journal.
G The Vassar girl learns above al
things to reason back from effect t
d cause. When her guitar string snap
she exclaims: plague on the cat!"-
It Galveston News.
waiter, this pie hasn't any apples i
y it," Waiter-"I know it, sab, it al
II made of ewapowated apples. '-Hal
ward Lampoon.
,, YESTERDAY / told Schlegelmaye
- that his club consisted OF blockhead'
- and to-day l hear that l have bee
20 elected an honorary member!"-Flit
gende Blaetter
N The very heavy wells now bein
worn are great strain on the ey'
NJ sight. Quite number Of youn
n men have been obliged to consult o.
:. ulists.-New York Herald
THE coalman's season may be I'll
In winter, and the summer the iceman
~ harvest, so that it's possible the mill
h. man finds his greatest profit in tn
h. spring. Philadelphia Times.
IN Mrs. WIcKwIRE-"B Bridget, whel
is is the lobster?" Bridget = "Sur
to ma'am, / put it on the windy to coo
1t looked red hot twin l TUX it on
ma'am. indianapolis Journal.
bo ACTOR FRIEND 1nquiring at boar
ing-house)-"Has Mr.. Comedy take
"a his departure yct?" EYES," snappt
~ the landlady, that's all he did TAX
~ I've got his wardrobe. "-Tid-Bits
is FATHER" said a 6-year-old DO
To "where is Atoms?" atoms, my DO.
m What do you mean?" "Why, tn
ms place where everything gets blow
nm to."-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
his HER SACRIFICE: He-"Darling,
he I give you such an expensive engag
to ment ring, we can't get married
w soon." She-"Never mind, dear;
to your sake 1 can wait. "-Harpe
Id, Bazaar. ~
nd Mrs. GooD-Young SlimbY is
he very exemplary gentleman. He TAX
ess his fiancee to church every Snnda
in Mrs. Sharpe-Yes, Slimby's a shrey
ue one. A couple of seats in the 'chur
, a are deal cheaper than two chairs
the theater.- Transcript.
MISTRESS. ooh, Mary, see II
mirror i have broken, and think
an the bad luck 1 shall now have
tn. seven years." Maid =" What, tn
lso little bit Of mirror? But think
DDS mel have just broken the big m
ON ror in the parlor. "-Fliegcndc Blaett'
the "WHAT do you mean by disturb
led me at this hour OF the night?" said
lon Austin doctor angrjly to darky W