The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-08-31
BRIGHT BITS.

HE-Do you believe in love at first sightS
Sne-I do II 1t Ia accompanied by the engage
ment ring.-BrookIgn Life.
SHE-Do you love me for myself aIonef
He-Yes, and when we're married don't want
any OF the family thrown in. lid Bits.
CONSTANT REApER--There are several large
coin collectors in the United States. Jay
Gould is probably the largest, -TeDas Stftinos.
BI1KINs-I never sent my boy on an errand
yet that he didn't forget half the things.
Wnkins-Guess you never tried him on a col
lection of fireworks. food Necs.
MAMMA-And now. Eddie. can you tell me
what velocity is?
Eddie-That's what papa let go of the hot
plate with to-day, isn't It mamma?-Brooklyn
Ltfe.
SIMON! Simon There are burglars in the
house,"
That's all right. Mary. | made an assign
ment of every thing to-day for the benefit of the
creditors!'-C Chicago Netrs- Record.
NELLIE-what's your favorlte instrument,
Daisy?
Dsisy-Tbe mandolin.
Nellie-Of course you prefer anything that
"MoTHER may go out to shop?'
you may. my darling daughter;
But keep away from the restaurant
And the dry goods soda water
-Netc York Herald.
Mrs. STINGs-Last night you came home with
story OF sitting up with a SICK friend. Now,
what excuse have you this time?
Mr.. straightforward. my love Chic), We all
gathered (hic) round his beer. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
I'LL HAVE you arrested for making false
representations. | bought that horse Of you
only because you told me he had record"
VERY true; the record is a bad one. You
didn't ask me what kind of a record he had. &"
The Rider and DrlUer.
LADY (helping to lobster saladl-I suppose
Mr.. O'FinHigan, that you are not accustomed to
this dish in your country?
Mr. OF Cconcealing his ignorance)-Lob-
stherS. is it. madam? Faith. ma'am. the shores
of Oireland is rel wild 'em.-Crppt.
MIR. HAysEED-wel, them city fellers beats
me. They wear garters.
Mrs. Hayseed-Sakes alive What fer!
M. Hayseed-T' keep their socks from fallin'
down over their shoes. ! s'pose they are too
lazy t. wash their iegs.-Neto York Weekly.
Ep1roH-Have we any babies picturesH
Assistant-None but that old cut of Baby Nc
Kee.
Editor-Well, run it in in the middle OF that
Cleveland interview and label it Miss Ruth
at the interesting age of months. '-BrookLvn
Ed9le.
Two Cinnamon recently tried the holding-up
process on a bank messenger near Hong Kong
and robbed him of 200 taels-about S30o-but
they were caught and decapitated within forty
eight hours. Taels you win, heads you lose. as
the messenger remarked .-heW Orleans Times.
Democrat
wIFK-There dear, I saw the doctor and he
said you we're to take FIVE grains of quinine
three times day.
Husband tanxiously)-Didn't he say anything
about whisky?
Wife-Yes. He said you could keep right on
with that Brooklyn Life.
MAHDY-Josiah, do you know where to flud
Aurora Boreas up TO town.
Josiah-No, Mandy; why?
Mandy-Well, l see that they have made the
finest diSDlAY ever seen for years, and thought
like as not you could pick up some bargains at
their 5 cent counter.-IpteT Ocean.
IT WAS in California Judge Blank asked
after the health of a gentlemans wife.
shes 81 si-sicS,' said the husband, who slut
tered
"rm sorry to hear that. Not seriouA
hopeg"
''She IA te. ate cucumbers."
Great heavens Ate eight oucumbersf ]
should think she would be ill.-Terds Stftin0s.