The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1892-01-21
ACUTE PUGsAcIrY.

Our Tacoma friends seem 70 have gone
entirely DAFT over the trouble with Chile.
They are gir3ing on their arrno- and grasp
ing their good swords as If the advance
guard Of the enemy had already appeared
on Pacific avenue.
The Tacoma Nescs is recruiting q regi-
ment the members Of which enlist IN an
altogether informal manner. They merely
tear a printed form from the columns Of
the Eeses, sign il and return it to the Nelus
Office. This simple act enrolls them among
the defenders Of their country. But this
is not all. Captain Fife is enlisting vol
unteers at the rate of FIVE men an hour. /.
N. Howell and C. ". Riddell have enlisted
for the war. B. ". Conner is ready to fol-
low their example On the least provoca-
ton. In short, the entire population of
Tacoma seems 70 be on slaughter bent.
Even the members of the police force are
signing for active duty
Mr.. Oscar Mum, a gentleman who talks
freely through the columns Of the Ners. is
not content with the idea OF killing Chill
cans one by one as are his fellow citizens.
He is eager to do wholesale execution, and
his head is full Of plans whereby il can be
done. He condescendingly takes the pub
the plans which he WIN putinto execution
if a Chilean feet dares to enter Commence
ment bay. Here is one OF the most
elaborate of these plans as he details it in
the columns of the Esws:
All Chilean wsrships are made of steel /
would locate station ct Browns point where
several mortars firing balls carrying wires
would be Kept in readiness This wire should
be heavy one attached at the shore end to a
reel that would unwind IS the ball sped
through the air. / would have electric wires
leading from ali the power-houses in the
city to Browns point for the transmits
sion of powerful electric currents. When
Chilean warship hove in sight would
have these mortars directed upon her and the
wires carried entirely over her 30 that they
would come into contact with her steel sides,
wire ropes, etc. Then would have these wires
attached 10 the lines leading from the power
houses in Tacoma and have 8 powerful current
turned upon them This would charge the
steel ship with such powerful current of cleo
tricity that every living being on board would
be struck dead, parslyZed, eleeirocuted.
This is only one of Mr. Nuhn's plans.
He would have a wonderful system of
torpedoes with which to STAY any Chill
cans who managed to escape from his
electric currents. If electricity and tor
pedoes alike failed, he would pour ten
thousand barrels of naphtha into the
Sound. "a match touched to this" he
declares with confidence, would create
sheet of flame that would suffocate
every man on board a man-of-war that
succeeded in getting as far as Browns
point"
1t Is clear that our country is safe so
long as genius such as that of Mr.. MUM
is to be found among its citizens. Indeed.
he puts to shame the ordinary citizens
who would expect TO carry on war in the
ordinary way. The Chileans will tremble
with alright when they hear of General
Nuhn and his plans for their humiliation.
Seriously, however, the would-be war
riors of Tacoma. as well as those of San
Diego, should see the improperly of their
acts. When The government wants vol
unteers ii will let the fact be known.
When it is necessary to secure
recruits, recruiting will be begun in
the regular manner. Surely those who
control the government can be relied upon
to do all that is necessary for the defense
of the country. 1t is folly, not patriotism,
that prompts men to anticipate the action
OF the government by declaring war on
their own account. A true patriot is al
ways ready 10 respond to the call of his
country, but the Coons of San Diego and
the Nuhns of Tacoma respond to their
own call and evidently expect medals for
doing il.