davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
A SUDDEN MESSENGER BOY.
Tho Fires OF Ambition Burned in His Brsas
and He Succeeded.

| Tho Fires OF Ambition Burned in His Breast
and He Succeeded.
| I said to my mother, will become . mes
senger boy and support this family in lu1u-
~, and so I went to the man who bosses the
| office on Broadway and stated my ambition.
He said to me, are you a rapid boy, and I
told him 1 was the rapidit boy in New
York He said, very well, and he gave me
what nv ambition had craved. I am there
yet I am No IA in the Office, and when
am sent out am chain lightning. carried
a message to Russell Sage one day, and he
| looked at me and said, why this rapidity of
promptness? And 1 said, it is my way, hon.
ored sir, and cannot hesitate to 1inger. He
said, you have started in right, and you will
some day be blown up with bomb and have
richness of wealth. After that was more
rapid than before.
Exchange place he said to me: "You are q
fool for your quick rapidity. have been
promoted three times, and yet + linger to
saunter when carrying a telegram"
said it was my ambition to be the chained
lightningest messenger in New York, and
he said you are a noble liar Then we fit.
licked. When he had been ingloriously
vanquished I said to him, you can now
see the value of my rapid suddenness and
nope you WILL IelOIm ana become an emil
nent citizen.
Twas sent in answer to call from q spa
cious mansion on Fifth avenue I was
there with such incalculable rapidity
that the lady of the house says: "Boy,
have seen much rapid swiftness in my time,
but nothing to equal this. How do you
manage it?" And said it was the fires of
ambition blazing in nv youthful breast "I
should be proud to call you my son." she
said, and she gave me an extra nickel to
assist me in my determined efforts to attain.
wealth.
met . policeman as was passing mp
Fourth avenue with my inconceivable sud-
dennesa He halted me and said: 'tBoy,
why this unseemly haste to overtake your
destination7" And said: "Because 1 am
working in the interest of nv employers,
honored officer, and hope by the exercise of
unparalleled energy to merit promotion and
thus to fill the measure of my overpowering
ambition"
This Is all st present M QUAD
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
4 TITLE FOR TIE PREsIDKNI

washinEton's Inauguration Delayed Several
Days While Congress Searched for One.
The question, What shall be the title Of
the President of the United States, accord
ing to the St. Louis GLOBE Democrat, was on e
which ELECTED no little discussion among
the members of the first Congress, and it is
said that the Inauguration of Washington
was delayed several days by consideration
and debate as to what should be his title
"His Highness, the President of the United
States of America and Protector of Their
Liberties" was discussed and rejected.
His E1cellency" was also proposed, and
also rejected. After numerous suggestions,
it was finally decided that the chief execu-
tive officer should be officially known as
the president o. the United States"
The title Excellency, as applied to tho
President, was OF later growth than the
time of Washington, who was greatly re-
lieved when Congress decided the question
by giving him no title, as he was much in
dread lest q lofty title should provoke
the envy and antagonism of the ultra Re-
pubiicans
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
STORIES BY M. QUAD.
Brother Gardner Experiments on
Limekiln Club Superstition.
THE ARIZONA KICKER CLIPPINGS
Vigorous Experience sf Q Wise Old Nan
Who Wanted to Be Toned Up
WOES OF A SPEEDY MESSENGER BOY
WRITTEN FoR. THE DrsPArcH,1

| WRITTEN IOh DISHATCH.l
When the regular business of the Satur-
| day night meeting of the Limekiln Club
had been concluded Brother Gardner
| arose and looked down the aisle as If in
search of certain members, and finally
began:
'Tt has lately come to my knowledge dat
sartin members Of dis club am firm believ-
ers in signs an warnin'A Eur instance,
am told dat Brudder standoff jackson
heard clock strike 13 times de odder night
an he was 80 affected dat he couldn't 90. to
work next day. He believed it was sign
of sudden death in his family. am told
dat Brudder Giveadam Jones saw de new
moon over his left shoulder one night last
week, an he done felt 50 pokv ober it dat
he had to soak his feet an go to bed. I
l'arn dat Brudder Waydown Bebee saw
three white hosses clus together de odder
day on de street an he run home to see if de
baby was dead.
"Only last night was informed dat Kur-
mel Kyann johnson, Second Vice President
of dis club, sot up all night de odder night
bekase de family teakettle- sounded a
warnin' soon arter supper. 1t seems to me,
from what I hev heard doorin' de last TO-
weeks dat nine-tenths Of de members Of dis
club am mighty 'spectin' to see ghosts
walkin' about deir bedrooma desiah to
call yo'r attenshun to bylaw No. 651, which
yo' hev perhaps dun forgot It reads dat
any member of dis club who believes in
ghosts may be fined as high as $16. 900 or ex-
PEELED from de club. De Secretary will now
call de roll All yo' dat believes in ghosts
will stand up as he hits yo'r names"
The secretary called the roll, but not .
member stood up.
'.De ghost bizness seems to be played
out all Of q suddenp' observed the president
as the list was finished. "Perhaps, how
eber, we hev some members who believe In
signs an warnin'a De. secretary will call
de roll agin, and de believers will stand up.
Befo' doin' SO I should like to call yo'r at
tenshun to bylaw No. 652, which reads, dat
any believer in signs an warnin's may be
fined as high as $40, 900 or suspended from
de club fur one var"
The roll was called again, but every mem
Der seemed 20 hold himself down in his
chair.
'Doan' seem to be nobody standin upr'
said Brother Gardner, as he looked around
the room. eve will now see how many
members believe in dreams. Bylaw No
653 reads dat any member who processes his
belief in dreams or who shall argufy to
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
THE FINDING OF A LOST RIVER
Remarkable Discovery Made by Claim
Hunters in tho Indian Territory.

Remarkable Discovery Made by Claim
Hunters in the Indian Territory.
A party which has just returned to Paris,
Tex, from the Cheyenne and Arapahoe
country report remarkable natural curl
osity that has been discovered in the noun
tains in the extreme western part of the
Territory.
In the recesses of wild and almost inac-
cessible range of mountains is a valley of
considerable magnitude, in which there is
lake which is fed by numerous streams that
flow into it from the mountains around it.
1t has but one outlet which Is stream of
considerable size This stream flows to-
ward large mountain on the east This
discovery was made in country which has
until recently been explored but little, but
in their search for claims party entered
the valley containing the lake. The place
interested them and they began to inspect
it closely. They followed the stream flow
ing from the lake to the mountain where
it disappeared by entering hole under
ground. 1t did not decrease gradually as
if seeping into the ground, but flowed into
the hole in . strong, bold stream. They
searched long and carefully to find where
the stream again came to the surface, but
could find no further trace of it.
1t is believed that the stream flows clear
under the mountains and empties into the
Canadian river at point many miles east
of where it disappears, as at that place the
Canadian river suddenly swells to double
its proportions above that point without
any apparent cause.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03

another member dat dreams am sent by do
angels In heaven to warn US of what am to
come may be fined as high as 50, 900 or
suspended fur six months. All yo' dat
believe in dreams stand up as yo'r names
am called"
For the third time the roll was called
without member moving foot As the
secretary sat down profound silence fell
upon the 100 men. The president finally
broke in on it by rising and observing.
"No ghosts-no signs an warnins-no
dreamsi Seems like I was dun mistaken
about it. Brudder jackson, how about dat
clock strikin thirteen times2"
"Reckon counted one too many, sab.
"Brudder Jones, how about dat new
moon?"
81 doan' believe in no new moons, sab /"
Gan, Brudder Bebee, yo' saw three " hite
hosses and 'spected de baby to die, did
yo'?"
'No, sah I Jest went back home to git
my hammer dat I'd dun forgot
"Oh, see! Kurnel johnson, how about
dat teakettle?"
"Dat was all in fun, sah."
tit was, eh? Well, lie powerful glad to
h'ar dat dis club am all right on signs,
warnins ghosts and sich, an hope it will
stay all right Ize an ole man, an in my
time lie met up wild heaps O. sich stuff It
ar my candid belief, based on so vars O.
walkin round on top dis y'arth, dat de man
who runs blzness 'cordin to dreams an
signs was bon fur fule an jist missed it by
an inch! We will now bust up de meetin
an 90 home"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03

tained the idea Of libel suit, but that he
was an admirer of our straight-ffom-the-
shoulder style and desired to subscribe for
five copies of The Kicker. We then returned
to town to look for Lawyer Hamilton. Some
one had lent him . mule and he was headed
for Clinch Valley, but at our second shot he
pulled up and waited for us to overtake him.
He also denied the reported libel suit and
likewise expressed his undying admiration
for the great family ne wspaper of the glori-
Gus West He wanted to subscribe for six
copies of our paper.
STEvE's MIsTAKE-When Steve Taylor
was appointed Town Marshal The Kicker ad-
vanced the opinion that he was weak in the
back and would 'crawP' if he got into
tight place. Steve and his friends were
down on US for the announcement, and we
believe it was Steve himself who fired
bullet into this Office one night few
weeks ago and shot the pendulum off our
eight-day clock. The affair of Sunday
night proved the correctness Of our opinion
regarding Steve's sand. A Bad Man from
Zuni broke loose all of a sudden and began
firing right and left. Steve happened to
be within 20 feet of him, but the "ping"
of bullets started him of down
the street like an antelope. His honor the
mayor (who is ourselO was in church and
heard the firing. He ran straight for the
crowd, sized up the situation at a glance
and next moment he had the Bad Man by
the neck. The fellow was quickly dis
armed, and within FIVE minutes of his first
shot he was lying on the floor of the Gala
boose and wondering which side OF the
United States had tipped up on him.
Monday morning he was so anxious to get
out of town that he was willing to 60 With
out his guns, which will be sold at auction
for the benefit of the street Improvement
fund Steve Taylor has handed in his res
isgnation and begged our pardon. He
thought he had sand, but it was mistake.
He will open carpenter shop on Cactus
street, and his advertisement will appear in
our next ISSUE
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
TEACHING WELSH TO A BR1T1sHER

How An English Bishop Was Instructed to
Master the Difficult Sounds.
It takes Welshman to talk Welsh, says
the Youths Companion. Few foreigners are
able to pronounce the Welsh IL The author
of yorkshire Folk Talk" tells an amusing
story of an Englishman's struggles to mas
ter that difficult sound.
The Englishman had been appointed to
the Welsh See Of st. David, and on taking
up his abode in Wales, engaged . native
Welsh scholar to give him instruction in
the language.
The pronunciation, and especially the IL,
bothered the Bishop, and the Welshman was
almost at his wits end to expain the lin
gual process by which the formidable sound
was to be uttered
At last bright thought struck him, and
being very obsequious in manner, he thus
addressed the Bishop:
"Your Lordship must please put your
episcopal tongue to the roof Of your apos-
tolic mouth, and then hiss like goose
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
suPERsTITIoUs Mr. INaALLA

He Il Said to Have Refused Piumb's On.
lucky Seat In Congress.
Mr.. ingalls, is said to be so superst1tious
that he feels nervous if he sees the moon
over his left shoulder. Whenever he has
occasion to return to his house directly after
leaving it he averts the possibility of a
hoodoo by sitting down before departing
again.
His abiding faith in the supernatural is
given as the reason Mr. Ingalls, refuses so
emphatically to become q candidate for
Plumb's unlucky seat in Congress. The
other reason, says the New York World,
that the seat has not been offered him.
should not be lost sight OF, however. Pos
sibly if the seat were rendered him the dis
tinguished statesman-out-of-a-jobm might BE-
come enough Of a Roman augur to laugh in
his sleeve at his own credulity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Summary Disposal OF Libel Suits and Law
yers Who Bring Them.

Summary Disposal OF Libel Suits and Law
yers Who Bring Them.
No LIBEL SUIT.-A few weeks ago We
felt 1t our duty as conscientious editor to
refer to Colonel Dan Skinner, who runs the
whisky ranch on the other bank of Plum
creek, as a man whose absence from this
locality would be of great benefit We
haven't time to look back through our files,
but we probably added that he was an un-
hung villain whose case had somehow been
overlooked The Colonel saw the item and
buckled on his gun to pay us a call The
nearer he got to us the stronger grew his
feelings that he was about to monkey with
q landslide two miles long, and he finally
stopped and turned back and sent for Lawyer
Hamilton. We were informed yesterday
morning tht we were about to be sued for
$50, 600 damages, and we mounted our mule
and rode over to the ranch.
The Colonel saw us coming and got away
on his burro, but we run him down at the
end of mile and had talk with him.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
STORY CT A EgLLET,
Tho Wonderful Effect Buckshot Had on q
Soldier Of the Rebellion.

Tho Wonderful Eject Buckshot Had on .
Soldier Of the Rebellion.
'Up in Northern Minnesota" says q
physician In the St. Louis Globe Democrat,
olives a man who entered the service in
1861. He was very dull fellow, almost
fool During one of the sorties made by
the Confederates at Donelson he received a
buckshot in the head. The surgeons could
not find it and the wound healed. He re-
turned to duty one of the brightest mon in
his company, and in time became Second
Lieutenant.
cat the close Of the war he returned
home, married . superior woman, prospered
In business and was elected Sheriff Of his
county. Three years ago his head began to
give him great deal of trouble He came
to St Paul, and 1 located the buckshot and
removed it He is now as healthy as ever,
but is the same stupid dolt that he was be.
fore the fight at Fort Donelson."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03

world was Waterloo, fought June 1s, 1916,
between Napoleon and the Allies Had
Napoleon conquered. France would have
overrun Europe again, and Great Britain as
well, and the history Of the last 70
years would have been vastly differ
emit There were other decisive
battles, however, before Waterloo;
and if any one of them had turned out diff
ferently, perhaps Waterloo might never
have been needed. Greasy. in his famous
book Decisive Battles of the World" de-
scribes these battles: Marathon, B. c. 400:
Syracuse, B. G. 413; Arbela, B. c. 331;
Metaurus, B. G. 2O7; Teutoburg, A. D. 9;
Chalons, 451; Tours, 1872: Hastings, 1866;
Orleans, 1929; the Spanish Armada, 1888;
Blenheim, 17O4; Pultowa 1909; Saratoga,
1777; Valmy, 1892, and Waterloo. There
have been decisive battles since then, too;
notably Solferino, 1859; Gettysburg, July.
1868; Sadowa, 1866; Mars-la-Tour and
Gravelotte, August, 1870.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
CONFEDERATE ooIoHxIs N oosslzu
They Are Said to 20 Fadin. Rapidly Out q
PUBLIC Life.

They Arc said to Bo Fadin. Rapidly Out q
Public Life.
It is said that the Confederate brgadier ID
fading out of public life. Only ten Southern
generals are left in the Senate, and not half
a. many survive in the House.
The most picturesque of them all, s.ys
the New York World, is Walthall, Of Mis-
sissippi, who succeeded Lamar In the Sem
ate.
General Walthall is tall and . very
slender man. with a yeritable name of black
hair. He entered the Confederate servics
as lieutenant, and rose so quickly in rank
that when the battle of Mission Ridge was
fought it was he who was in charge of tho
brigade that bore the brunt of Hookers
attack
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03

An apparatus has been invented for fin
ishing or Furnishing boots and shoes. The
apparatus can be fixed on the shaft of any
treadle machine, and it is claimed that two
boys, who can work simultaneously, can in
an hour burnish 80 to 100 pairs of boots by
its use 1t is proposed to use the machine
especially in the packing room, and it en-
ables all kinds of boots and shoes to be ef-
fectively and quickly polished before be-
ing packed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
eyes, dat's I p she sternly repli

"Yes, dat's I |" she sternly replied.
AN what's dun got de mattah wild me?''
"De mattah wild yo' Moses? De mattah
wild yoP Why, yo' dun saw a brass bar'l
on wheels, an yo' paid cents to git yo'r
sistem toned up by takin' hold of de
handles. Yo's got de tonel Yo'r mouf is
all drawed around on yo'r shoulder, dat left
eye Is all cooked up, and boat yo'r knees
am wobblin' like a rabbit in bresh fence.
Git up. ole man-git up an cum along an
bring dat tone wild yo', and be dun glad yo'
hain't an ole fool niger no mol Yo's bin
toned, an yo's jes like q white gem'lan
nowp"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
AKin< Suspected Of svindIinr.

The King Of Denmark sometimes goes to
Hamburg incognito, and on the occasion of
his last visit of the kind there he met with
IN amusing misadventure. He bought sew
eral expensive presents for the Queen, and
discovered whom he came to pay for them
him for the purpose The shopkeepef imme-
diately suspected an attempt ct :windlins,
and . hotel official had 10 be summoned By
tslsphsas bsfors things could - sst Iishi
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
Referring to "Miltia's" ouery

Referring to "Miltia's" query in last
Sundays issue as to why, in our army, Off
GERS of lower rank wear gold while their su-
peri6rs wear silver, "Home Guard" saws:
Let me give what consider the correct
reply: Prior to the introduction of shoulder
straps, about 184O, all officers of the United
States army when In full uniform wore
epaulets of gold tinsel and brass, on which
marking Of rank, such as stars, eagles, ETC.,
were embroidered in the contrasting metal.
silver. In the early days OF our nation
there were, besides Adjutant, but two
grades of commissioned regimental field
officers, namely, Lieutenant Colonels, dis
tinguished by silver eagle on the epaulet
and Majors. marked by two silver leaves on
each epaulet. When, in 1S02, the rank of
Colonel was first established by Congress,
Lieutenant Colonels and Majors retaining
their old rank as first and second in regi
mental command, became Colonies and
Lieutenant Colonies respectively, retaining
their old markings, while those promoted to
the new grade, third reg1mental officer, with
the old name of Major, were marked by gold
leaves on their epaulets.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
Ex-sIaves as Slave OwnerA

Alfalfa Constltul1onJ
The report comes from Q reliable source
that many American negroes have migrated
from Liberia to the colony of Sierra Leone
in West Africa These negroes were FORM
erly slaves IN the United States, and in
their new home they seem to have craze
for investing their capital in slaves, and it,
is said that they make cruel and avaricioua
masters
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
Count Herbert Bismarck's Ill Manners.

The latest story Of Count Herbert Bis
marck's ill manners relates that while in
Rome recently he pushed rudely against An
italian officer Of high rank, who turned to
protest against such treatment Without .
word Of apology the ex-C Chancellor's son re-
torted angrily, 81 am Count Herbert won
Bismarck. That, SIR" remarked the
Italian, rs N explaAation Of your conduct
but not aa excuse, q
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
Who were the original Cabinet oflcersf
&

W AO WoI0 bu0 OdOluot omCcESI
IS.
Secretary OF State, Thomas Jefferson, Sep
tember %, 1889; Secretary of the Treasury,
Alexander Hamilton, September IL, 1889;
Secretary of War, General Henry Knox,
September II, 1889; Postmaster General,
Samuel Osgood, September rs, 1889;
Attorney General, Edmund Randolph,
September 26, 1889. The other Cabi.
net Offices were created on the
following dates, and first filled by these
persons: Secretary of the Navy, May 81,
1889, Benjamin st oddard; Secretary of the
Interior, March s, 1S49, Thomas Ewing;
Secretary of Agriculture, February II, 1889,
Norman J. Coleman. The Secretary OF
State has always been the ranking Cabinet
officer, even though his commission be later
than the commissions of his colleagues and
the Presidential succession act of 1886 ar
ranges the Cabinet officers in this order,
omitting the Secretary of Agriculture,
whose Office was not created until after the
succession act was passed: Secretary of
State, Secretary of the Treasury, Secretary
OF War, Attorney General, Postmaster Gen.
eral, Secretary of the Navy, Secretary of
the Interior. Until 1866 the Cabinet Off
GERS were paid Sc, 900 year, except the At
torney General, who got only A, 900; since
1855 all the Cabinet officers receive S., 900 .
year apiece.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
What is the proper pronunciation Of the
name of Arkansasf GA

what Is the proper pronunciation Of the
name Of Arkansasf GA
Afkansaw. The old Indian pronunciation
was Arkahnsah. The early settlers, who
were French, spelled the name as we do;
but Is the French is always broad and the
final s Is silent, tney pronounced the word
as the Indians did. Congress, in the act of
March 2, 1919, organized the territory,
spelled the name Arkansaw, and for many
years it was spelled so. Finally the original
spelling was revived the original pronunci-
alton being kept Then came new settlers,
who didn't understand French; and they
pronounced the name Arkansas In 1880
the State Historical Society and the Eclec-
tic Society investigated the history of the
name and its pronunciation and on their
report the Legislature in 1881 resolved that
the name SHOULD be pronounced in three
syllables, with tbe final s. silent, the a in
each syllable with the Indian sound, and
the accent on the first and last syllables-
being the pronunciation formerly, univers-
ally and now still most generally used"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-03
What was the greatest battle ever foughtf
A. II. Il.

what was the greatest battle ever foughtf
A. II. Z.
That depends on what you mean by
greatest. The battle of Leipsic, fought be-
tween Napoleon and the Allies, on October
16, 1S and 10, 1918, involved the greatest
number of men; Napoleon had 100, 900 men,
the Allies-Russia, Prussia, Austria,
Sweden, Denmark and Great Bhtain-had
240, 900 mon. From the number OF COM
batants sud from the number Of powers
represented, this ID sometimes .knewn - ths
Battle Of Nationa But the battle involving
perhaps Tie nsss Important rssalts - ths