The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-06-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
An old salt-Epsom.

A cut and dried affar-Hay. -
Hungers for fame-The forty.day
faster.
Motto for dictionary of proverbs
'tOld saws filed here. Truth.
A boot and shoe trust is corporation
with a sole.-New York Journal.
There is one brauch of labor which
must always be done by hand-Picking
pockets.
A man is as old as he feels, but not
always as big, not by heap.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
"Faith" was described by an Ohio
boy as "expectin' something ye amt
goin' to git."-Columbu Post.
A statement that you won't wash"
can't be trusted to the dampeued tissue
of the official letter ook.-Puck.
A merchant may drive fast horse,
but he never objects to taking other
peoples dust.-Binghamton Republican.
Maud-"What a terrible thing drown
ing isl" Mabel-"Yes; it would just
kill me to die that way. Harvard
Lampoon.
"Ten lifetimes, says a writer, "will
not suffice to solve the enigma, woman"
Indeed that is so; and yet we must not
give her up.-Judge.
You can't convince a girl by arguing
that man is not an angel. The only
way to convince her is to let her marry
him. m.-Atchison Globe.
The expert has become so necessary q
part of our civilization that nothing is
certain but death, and that is in doubt
until after the funeral. Judge.
How does love take the life out of
mani But then man can't be expected
to have much pluck after he has given
away his heart.-Boston Transcript.
Possibly one reason why men who talk
loudly seem so generally successful is
that they can't be easily disturbed in
their occupation. Washington Star.
Shakespeare speaks of sermons in the
stones. Now understand why women
pay so much attention TO one another's
Jewels when in church. New York
Herald.
al never thought you were the sort of
man to get married" "No; but you see
90 about good DEAL and l found it
necessary to have some one to leave cards
for me. Fun.
Miss Vassar-"Do you know, Mr..
Blank always carries note book in
which TO put down any bright remark
he hears" Miss Smth-"Why, know
him very well, and never saw it,
Yale Record.
Every time Miss Amanda, whose
understanding is somewhat large, stops
at hotel, she cleans her own shoes aud
sets outside the door small pair, which
she carries with her express! !y for that
purpose.-Fliegende Blaetter.
A police officer met n sarcastic organ
grinder on the street and SAID: "lIave
you license to play9 If not, you must
accompany me-" ''With pleasure, ~ an
swered the street musician. "What will
you sing'"-Providenco Telegram.
Physician-"You owed me another
little bill, Mr.. Judlins, which | can't
remember your having paid" Mr.. Jud-
kins-"Well, don't grumbe at me about
it. am not responsible for your bad
memory, am lI"-Pharmgceutical Era.
Judge-"Prisoner at tho bar, tho
court has assigned counsel to defend
you" Prisoner with n glance at the
counseD dat my lawyer, yer
honorW Judge-"Yes." Prisoner
"Den l pleads guilty. ."-Brooklyu Life.
"Well, Uncle 81, you are prophet;
tell me what Is the weather prospect for
tomorrow" ''Ycnl hev ter excuse me
er-day, sir, Pm too busy to tell ye Call
around day after tomorrow, and III give
you all the information you want about
tomorrow. .'-IIarper's Bazaar.
Doctor-"If your husbands hiccoughs
don't stop very soon. madam, he'll bc a
dead man. There is only one thing TO
be done. He must be startled out of
them. Can YOU suggest any way2" Anx-
ious Wife dhoughtfullD-'I might tell
him that mad decided not to order that
new silk dress. Cloak Review
Young Medical Man-"Thauk good
ness, have pulled through my exams
at last 1t is horrible to think of all the
hard work have had to go through
these last four years" Elderly Practi-
tioner-"Well, my dear colleague, there
is one consolation; you won't have any
thing to do for long, long while now."
Der Floh
"Doar, dear!' said kind hearted
matron on meeting Il friend whom she
had not seen for a long time; land
you're not yet married, Juue-with Your
good looks toot' "No; Pm not mar
ried yet, " replied Jane, with a laugh.
"Well, " said Jane, with a twinkle of
her eye, ~ expect it is because was