The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1892-11-03
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
mos HERE AND THERE.
sehss ana sohs'ets that Are Supposed 20
Have Been Recently Horn Sayings and
Doings that Are Od.A Curious and
Lau0habls.
sprinkies OF spice,


WINDS may come and winds may
go, but Gloucester races go on for.
ever.
An exploded theory-I didn't
know IL was loaded. Union County
Standard.
IN the nature OF things two lovers
must fall In love before they can fall
out. Dallas News.
TIE sculptor isn't the kind of man
that cuts no figure in the world -
Blnghamton Leader
A MANS idea of practicing economy
Is to preach 1t three times day TO
his wife. -Atchison Globe.
"ANoTnER cherished link gone"
said the young man who lost his cuff
button. Washington Star.
SOFT gloves are worn by pugilists
TO prevent hard feeling In friendly
fight. New Orleans Picayune.
JAosoS says there are lots Of men
who start for heaven too late TO get
past quarantine. -Elmlra Gazette.
The man who is stuck on himself
IS one who backed his judgment and
bet on the wrong man. --Picayunc.
THE man who has something
which can beat Nancy Hanks wants
TO trot It out.-Yonkers Statesman
lT Is a queer thing that after n girl
has consented TO fly with man she
usually has to walk.-Chiistian
Union.
WHEN wife hears dull thud on
the doorstep she knows that the
lodge has adjourned. -BinghamtOn
Republican.
A POLITE tramp: Judgc-"What
Is your name?" Tramp-"Allow me
to exchange cards with your Honor"
Texas Siftings.
FATnER-No appetite this evening,
ch? What is the matter? Late
lunch? Little boy-No, sir. Early
| apples Good News.
THERE isn't much lifting power to
/ your religion II IL doesn't make you
/ 10 your best TO pay 100 cents on the
( lollar.-Ram's Horn.
THEY have potato socials' in Kan.
sas. The name may 6c from the fact
that the young people go there TO
! pare.-Tcxas Siftings.
ION, dry up" as autumn said TO the
leaf. "l'm not as green as j was"
replied the leaf. $50 I'll take your ad.
vice. ."--Texas Siftings.
POINTING at the caudal appendage
OF the hand-organ monkey, Quibble
remarked The tail OF wayside
,Ndip -, ,top ,Transo -
WHEN the devil sees church men,
bcrs wrangling with one another he
knows IL will be safe for him TO sit
down and rest. t.-AIn's Horn.
JACK told me last night that he
had given me his heait." well, It's
damaged goods. He told me last
week that | had broken it."-Life.
THE corn-salve that is not pure
preventive OF cholera is made by u
man who doesn't understand the art
Of advertising. -Binghamton Repub-
.ican.
THOSE who would read Natures
open book in meadow and woods have
an extra facility at present She Is
herself turning the leaves .-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
THE first is called the index finger,
but when man takes three or so it's
an index Of his opinion that the sea
son has grown too cold for beer
Philadelphia Times.
CoRBETT has sold the right 10
whisky firm to name new brand
after him. No doubt IL will he "A
good liquor TO make strong punches
with. Philadelphia Record.
Mr.. TooTHANDNAIL-"Ic can't imag-
Ine what we ever got married for,
we're totally different at every single
point" Mrs TOothandnail--"Oh,
you nattercr. boston Courier.
SoN-"Paw Father-"Wcll?' as
A vessel "A boat?" yes" "Pa"
What is it?' "What kind OF a boat
is a blood.vessel?" ITS life boat,
Now run away to bed. "--Tid-Bits.
allow DID they like you in Scrag-
gleyille?" asked one actor of another.
"Very much. indeed, IL appeared. 1t
was all | could do 10 induce the land
lord to let me leave. Washington
Star.
THERE is great difference be-
tween military engagements and love
engagements. In one there's a good
OF falling in, and in the other there's
a good deal OF falling out. YOnkers
Statesman.
THE common impression is that
there is very little poetry in matri-
mony. When people take out their
marriage licenses they are supposed
to surrender their poetic license
Washington star.
al SEE that O'Grogan has got him a
coat OF ar-r-ms since he was app'inted
depty sheriff" The dirty aristo-
crat! Vance he was glad enough TO
go out in his shirt sleeves wild the rest
OF us. Chicago News.