Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-04-07
TEA-TABLE-SALAD.
IILIs IS pretty good daze work,
said the dentist as he administe red oa

nANGUlD GHoLLY.-Cholly Qanguidly)
Jeames! Jeames-"Yes, sir !''
Cholly-"Come to the window and
wink at this gull fob me. "-New York
Herald.
This is getting to be the land of the
midnight son." said paterfamilias, as
JOHNNIE came in from neighboring
cobweb party at the stroke of twelve
LoueU Courier.
SHARpsoN-"Old fellow, you look
seedy. 1t is time you had a new suit"
Phlatz-"l know it, but my tailor re-
fuses INTO renew the modus
vivendi. y Chicago Tribune.
HEROIC Rector re
you denying yourself anything during
Lent p Mrs. Lakeside Indeed |
am. Pm putting off getting a divorce
until after Easter. "-New York Weekly.
"WHAT can l do for my little boy"
asked mamma, $50 that he won't want
to eat between meals?"
"Have the meals flicker together"
replied the young gourmand.-New
York Herald.
THE average man never reads down
the column of personal Notes About
Well-Known People" without a vague
feeling that he shouldn't be surprised if
he saw his own name printed there
some day.-SomeruiUe Journal.
NEWSPAPER REPORTER Ito president of
company" your company taken
any steps to pay it's taxes?" President
why, certainly, sir. We have made
two protests against the constitutional
ity of the law. "-1eras SJtings.
HE-"Dearest, can you not trust me?
Will you not agree to combine your
fortune with miner" She-"Should
like to above all things. but the laws
are pretty strict just now on trusts and
combines. boston Transcript.
"VERY pretty sunset" he remarked.
eyes," she replied. 81 don't wonder
that people write about the shades of
evening. had no idea that there were
so many different shades or that they
matched so nicely" p Washington Star.
JENN1E-"Is there any test by which
one can ascertain the genuineness OF Il
diamond without consulting q jeweler?"
Minnie-"Cousin Bob says you can find
to ask him in what. "-IndiandpoIis Jour-
nal.
PAT-"Faix, Maggie, you'd besht be
atther takin' q dose av DR.. Squills' Life
ExtinsiolW Maggie-"Indade, 1'll not,
Pat. Whin had the grippe, sure, didn't
he drown me with the horrid stuff till
that was terrible sick long afther got
we'll ?"-Puck.
LITTLE JOHNNY had heard the minis
ter exhorting his hearers to strive to
enter in at the straight gate. A few
moments later, when the contribution
box was passed around, he whispered:
"Ma, are they after the gate money!
Boston Transcript.
PAYING HER OUT.-Dorothy-"And
when l grow up | shall get married j,
and have fine wedding, but | shan't
ask you to it, mamma. Mamma
"Whv won't you ask me to it, DEAR
Dorothv-"Because you didn't ask me
to YOURS. '-Fuany Folks.
BLEAKHURsT-oN-TH E-HUDsoN-Carrlng-
ton-"So Higgins has built him an En-
plish countrv-house near Yonkers =?
How does he like it? Harrington
VERY we'll, he says with the exception
of going out wet nights in his slippers to
let visitors in at the porter's lodge. =
Puck.
KlcH OLD PERSON. What do you
want a wife for, when you can't hardly
support yourself? Why. sir, my daughter
would starven' Snookins with great
dignity)-"We sir, if you are the kind
of man to let your daughter ana ner
husband starve, don't wish TO enter
the family. "-Erchange.
THAT INFAMOUS GERRYMANDER.-The
Rev. Mr.. Goodman-"How do you do,
Mr.. Emsee l have not seen you at
nv church for long time:
The Hon. Mr.. Emsee (ot the 'steentn
Congressional District-"No,, parson.
The last time I went to your churcn the
usher-I think you call nlm-gerryr
wandered me into seat with q iot OF
touohs near the Chicago Tribune.
Mas KA1NrucK-"Wake up, wake up I!
THO water nipes have burst In the
k;tchen." Col. Kaintuck - "Gr-r.r
HVonnh-ob-ehl Lemme lone" Mrs.
Kaintuck-"And the water is running
into the cellar and may get INTO the
nh;skv barrel" Col. kaintuck (sprlng'
inc ont of bed)-"By the great horn
anoon. woman, get out of my way ana
let me get downstairs quick !-boSto"
Neus. sLo+cb
&c q CLERGYMAN of the old school: 'Ou,
owe weel do mind Mr.. Douglas. he
wasna vim of the latter-day kind that
Gamma tax wee drappie. Mony,s the
t;n,a I've seen him gaun' along the
street where I lived, a the better what
he didna carry just to say very s.ra ,,e ~
", The auld wives would come ou' W
their doors, and pin their arms 81
1akimbo) and look at MN nirp,n
alang, and say: Gu, ay, there goes tha
Douglas. He's. gey lou Ine oay pos ann
guild, pious aulc meenlstef' 'o''0''
Transcript. v.s-
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. Vas
sar Girl-The bitters are put 1t a s..;th
you have fl; filled t,eo s mlA1nSs"as weak
cnop tpre Of ammonia and water to the
m no.s where the eggs struck the gar
spots Wne Washington : Unqestionably
m me Wife of the private secretary OF the
t .hn assistant postmaster-general taxes .be
precedence Of the wife Of 1ng Institution ut
l rIns y r. Boston-We think the PIE
mrs, ,, y. h n served after the beans, 81. a.,
s shoush p among S some Of Bos,on,s 4 4oa