The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-12-01
HUMOR AND PATHOs
Col. Helps Statements Regarding the
Almighty Dollar

Almighty Dollar.
Did you hear Col. P. E. Holp. IF
you did not you will never know, un-
less you hear him later, what Won
missed. He is more than advertised
His wonderful power of creating wit
and humor, and then suddenly chang
ing his audience from that humor to
pathos and tears, gives him plaza
beyond Dougherty on the side of In
gersoll and Talmadge. The Epwort.
League is to be congratulated on sa-
curing him.
On Tuesday night Mr.. Holp spoke
On the Almighty Dollar what It
would and would not do. and what Il
is doing. He declared gambling to be
stealing, and all kinds of lottery. at
church fairs or otherwis, gambling.
General Sherman, at a Catholic Fair
was asked by his daughter to Dur,
chase ticket in game of chanca
but he refused, on the ground of nro,
flaming Christianity.
Literary labor is the only road to
fame and fortune in China" said DR.
Hop. What falling off of politi-
clans there would be here if tina, rule
was adopted"
-Four secrets of fortune were Labor
pollteness, advertising industry and
frugalIty, continued the Colonel "A
mans expenses should not be mora
than J OF his income. The surest wav
to wealth is to get on the back If .
mule-you are better off. Ifyou'll use
ten years in trying to get rich instead
OF making your neighbors think Won
are rich you will be successful,
Elf a Scotchman sees dollar =,
the other side of hell he will jump for
it at the risk of falling in. If an
American sees dollar in hell he will
Jump Tor 1t at the risk of getting out"
In God We Trust or orr coins
Col. Holp said should be chanoas 70
"'In Gold We Trust Evervtb;ru
now can be reduced to dollars and
eents-the tariff. the temperance
question. the postal system. etcZand
it is nearly time for our National air
to be changed from Yankee Doodlo,
to Yankee Doodle"
when we learn that gold is not tho
highest gift of life there will ba fa,vo,.
divorce cases and our newspapers will
not be filled with dirty, sensational
articles. Marrying for money is sirn-
ly throwing the garment Of n,r;tv
over public prostitution-over q ,,,t
lie harlot. A good many of nv col
lege classmates that have married for
money now declare that their
home is simply hell. They tremble
for their children aud silently swear
My child in coming years prostitute
Of immense wealth-neyer soo,or
dead now
Col. Holp declared it a devilisb
thought that mans happiness was
commensurate with his wealth. He
SAID that the richest Khediye or DOW
er in the world told his secretary after
forty. years reign to take a bag of
gold .and bring him the shirt of q
happy man. The secretary travelled
around the world until he struck Ire
land. Here~he found his mana hap
Ply lrlshman laughing and dancing.
lhe secretary threw back the Irish
mans coat, but 10 and behold there
was no shirt there"
The maxim ''every man has his
price, Col. Holp declared illogic of
logic and cited Washington, Lincoln,
Sumner, Clay, Pitt and Macaulay as
proof of his declaration. In conclud
ing he thought that we would be hap
Ply when the power of education and
meekness, instead of money ruled this
world.
Col. Holp lectured on the SUI biect
Simon Says Thumbs Up last even
ing.
superstition
1t is with feeling of delicacy tn at
the GAZETTE opens a censure of those
persons who stopped to frighten one
half the children of Redwood Falls
last Sunday, by using the flake" com
ct as their bull-dOp A oood ,r,bo,