The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1892-06-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

bdII- IL you nHu u nunureu-UOlldf
bill what would you got tirst?' Burt
"Get it changed
| lie Ia poetl-" Poets are born, not
made Shc-"Dont say that. You
will encourage matrimony. ."--Dralc's
Magazine.
-Teacher-"What is the proper time
to gather apples?' Pupil-"When the
big dog isn't in the orchard. "-F'liegcnde
Blatter.
II wonder why there is rulc
against children in SO many flats?"
probably because there isn't room for
them to grow"-Ilarper's Bazaar.
--Grace-'Hcorge told me last night
| that hc loved me to distraction" Ethel
YES, have always heard that in.
sanity was hereditary in his family,
low."-IIarvard Lampoon.
Another Adage Disproved. Bloom
bumpcr-"Wcll, fool for luck" Mrs.
| Bloombumper--''I don't know about
that. You never seem to be specially
lucky. Detroit Free Press.
$50 you went to sing in the choir"
YES" What part?" well. | went
IN as first bass hut they changed it tc
short stop when they heard my voice. :"
Washington Star
-Landlady dust after breakfast
You are looking pale. sir. Has some
thing you have eaten made you ill?'
Boardcr--"No, it's something that /
didn't eat that's done 1t. t."--Pharmcra
"A Vigorous Speaker. II don need
to praise my butter, said the dealer.
at speaks for itself" Yes" asscntod
| the customer, lit uses strong language.
too.'-Detroit Free Press.
II guess the sand mans come said
Mrs. llinkley. ns the baby began rub.
bing his eyes. II think so" said Mr..
llinlilcy. II find his bill on the table
here. We must economizc on groc,ries,
MaliF. = llarpnrs Bazaar,
--''Brand has become II great hoastcr
since he got religion" "lndced? What
does he boast about? The happiness he
has found?' NO. about what great
rascal he used to ben. Y. Press.
~ tell you, said the business man.
that son of mine is no fool What
makes you think so?" asked the
young mans uncle. .'kecausc fools
rush il whore angrts fear to tread.
and Augustus hasn't energy enough to
rush anywhere. '-Washington Star.
Never Carriage. 1t cannot he
difficult for you to guess what brings
me here. hcgan the ronng man who
was trying tu propose. 1T Is Il street
car" sh" answered, "wh"n walking is
poor. indianapolis Journal.
country Lnnllady II hope the
ruin"a-hrns won't annoy You. City peo-
pie generally object t. their noise" Mr..
Erb"cS-"Dop't mention it. Mrs. Green:
I'm used to such things: my ncighbors
in the city are nearly 4ll musical. -
Boston Transerint
@-Ncli preserved. - Clcyertan-."Nou
wouldn't think ! had had that dress
iuit eight years, would you?" Dash
iwuy-''O, don't know, old man. You
ton't have occasion To wear It very
often. "-tlothiera and Furnishcr.
AT the Girls High School
ior-"l told you, young ladies, in our
asst lesson, that Il mans brain is larger
han woman's. To what conclusion
ioes that lead YOU, Fraulcin Bertha?"
'crtha-"That in the matter of brains
t docs not depend on the quantity but
On the quality. "-Fliegcnde Batter
Coming to at Understanding,
spokesman ,4r church trustees )--"Wc'd
ike to have You remain with us another
year, Brother Stc'lman, but the congrc-
ration is poor. We can't afford to pay
salary of more than 500 year" The
Il ". Mr.. Stcdman-"Andt the customary
donation visit, suppose" well. no.
We hardly feel that we can afford Il
donation visit this year" Will, alac-
rity) III ral,c u. &rethrenr'-Chicago
Tribune