The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-10-11
THAT ARIZONA KIcKRR
The Nomination for the State Senate r
ship,


Our PLATFoRM-We do not only
believe that we are eminently qualified
to fill the position of State Senior, but
we make no bones of the fact that We
r humping ourself to secure the
nomination from this district. w!
have received quite a number of let.
,ters inquiring as to our views on GER
tain matters, and we hereby append a
few of them:
First-We stake sumthin" occas-
ionally, but will get right down to
spring water and hang to it if the rest
of the crowd will.
Second-We want to see every work
ingman earning ten dollars per day
and every capitalist doubling his
money.
Third-We favor any sort of tariff
which will please the crowd.
Fourth-Durn the Chinese!
Fifth-We are pledged to a low rate
of taxation and a high price on mules.
That's about all up to date, but we
stand ready to answer all further ques-
tions. We shall go into this campaign
on a different line from anything here
tofore adopted, Our opponent will
probably be the Hon. Joseph Merri-
man. We have had his record for the
past six months. While he was yet a
youth his mother eloped and his father
went to prison. AS he grew up he
robbed a store, burned a school house,
stole a horse and got fifteen years for
manslaughter. He broke Jail to come
west and has had a moose around his
neck in this territory. He is a voluble
liar, a magnificent deadbeat and a
tricky rascal in general. All this,
however, we shall carefully suppress
during our canvass. Neither on the
platform nor in our paper shall we
allude to him as anything but an
honorable gentleman. We do not
believe in campaign ISLANDERS and
~vituperation.
Heretofore it has been the habit of
candidates to put on an old red shirt,
SLOUGH hat and corduroy trousers and
go among the boys as one of them,
and liquor has been free. We shall
appear at various meetings in a plug
hat, boiled shirt, regular collars and
cuffs and a Prince Albert coat. Now
and then we shall have Dur shoes
blackened with regular blacking. We
owe it to our dignity and to the dig
nifty of the Office we hope to fill. Some
of the opposition will probably take
US for a squirt and attempt liberties.
All such will only have to spit on
low cut shoes to find two guns ready
for active service. We shall do no
treating as a regular thing, no matter
what course u opponent pursues.
If elected we shall have considerable
patronage to dispose of. There won't
be any civil service about it, however.
1t will be given to those of our parti-
ans who have yelled the loudest for
fat as possible. You can't begin to
yell too soon. Any one wanting a bill
put through the next legislature should
call or write to us as soon as possible.
During this campaign We shall not
editorally advertto our narrow minded,
small sJuled contemporary. He has
sworn to do all he can to defeat us
with his 400 circulation, but we a
always buy up 455 copies of every
issue, and the others are deadheads to
some New England State, we prefer to
do that way. In his last issue he
afirms that we killed our mother and
ded from Vermont, but the canard fell
as fat as his old wallet on pay day.
We have been asked if we shall do
any shooting during our canvass. We
hope to avoid 1t, but the opposition
must not presume too far. We are
willing that others should be heard,
and we propose to be heard ourself.
There are towns where they don't like
us, but we shall appear and be heard
just the same. We have heard of can
didates being tossed in a blanket, but
we have no fear of such an occurrence
happening to us. We expect to be
guyed about our plug hat, ridiculed
about our boiled shirt and probably
menaced because of our generally
genteel appearance and humble de-
meanor, but we hope we shan'G be
obliged to attend any coroner's IN
quests and thereby interrupt our pro-
gramme.