Middletown transcript., 1892-05-19

tricks OF q like nature so elated Mr.. r.
D. G. Howard that be promised his
houries no end of fun if they would
only wait until the evening. And
/ with the evening came truly infer
nal din rooms were invaded, night
gowns were stolen and bathing-suits
substituted in their stead, stats were
taken out of the beds, hair-brushes
put between the sheets, pepper on the
pillows and alum on the tooth-brushes,
trunks were exchanged, and salt water
was put into the iced-water tank in
the hall. At midnight, Mr.. P. D. G.
Howard, himself ringing large bell,
headed procession of young ladies,
beating tin pans, playing on jews
harps; and whistling through keys
and on combs. and led them through
the length, breadth, and height Of the
hotel. Tables and chairs were care-
fully adjusted against the bedroom
doors, and an alarm of FIRE was sound.
ed, the result being extremely disas-
trous both to the furniture and to the
bones of the too credulous inhabitants
of the Atlantic House, and affording
|
a fine gratis exhibition of curl-papers,
dressing gowns, night-caps. and bare
feet, which was greeted with shouts Of
laughter by the Little Jokers,-
they had named themselves. The
next performance consisted in rolling
empty beer and champagne bottles
down four consecutive flights of stairs,
which bottles were the subsequent
cause Of bruises and sprained ankles,
and even broken bones, to not a few.
The whole affair wound up BY grand
pillow-6ght proposed by Miss CraW-
ford, vigorous blonde) at two in the
morning, after which Mr.. P. D. G.
Howard slapped that young lady on
the back and told her she was worth
any other man at helping to carry on
fun, and offered to give, her. boxing
lessons; which high praise caused
Miss Crawford to redden with pleas
ure.
This jovial night over, Miss Craw-
ford was constituted chief fayorite, lit.
tie Miss Avis being nowhere. For the
whole day did Mr.. P. D. G. Howard
and his fair pupil square at each other
and then, the freak over, he returned
to Miss Lyons and attempted to teach
her billiards. This game Miss
standish aspired to learn; but, being
too near sighted, she drew only
laughter upon herself, and a most
superior i" Ny dear Miss-er-Miss
Hobbs,-oh Miss Standish, is iti
My dear Miss Standish, what funny
little thing you are!" Whereupon the
stately Miss Standish helplessly sup.
posed she was.
At the end of the season Mr.. P. D,
G. Howard was carefully and irresisti.
bly, seized upon by Mr.. and Mrs.
Crawford, Miss Crawford, and two
young Crawfor9s, and borne exulting.
ly through the White Mountains as
jealously guarded as if he had been an
Eastern sultana, and triumphantly
deposited in their house on Common
wealth Avenue. From the instant Of
his advent the generous Englishman
constituted himself the teacher, re-
former, and savir of the entire house,
hold he was shocked and concerned
at their ignorance, simplicity, and
provincialism The fat went forth,
and net one Of the family dared to
breakfast before eleven, or lunch
before two, or sit down to dinner be.
fore half-past eight; fve-o'clock tea
was established, and half an hour
before retiring the ladies brewed with
their own hands hot whiskey. punch
for the assembled company.
"It is done in the best Irish houses y
said Mr.. P. D. G. Howard, and, by
Jovel it's an awfully jolly thing,
don't yer know?"
He selected a livery for tie coach.
man and groom, and devised a crest
for TIE family; he established an
evening game of whist with dollar
points, and laid in supply of claret,
sherry, port. hook, and champagne,
besides whiskey, brandy, gin, rum,
and liquors. At his command the
ladies appeared at dinner in full
dress, and the gentlemen in dress
coats; the waitress disappeared, and
butler and two footmen took her
place. In short, after two weeks Of
hard and conscientious labor Mr.. P. D.
C. Howard declared with great salts
faction that the entire establishment
had been placed upon exactly the
same footing as that of his intimate
friend Lady Comet.
And there isn't a better.mounted
house in London, by Jove! All the
best-known men in England are at
her FIVE o'clock teas, and an invitation
to dine there would make q noted
man of you, no matter what kind of a
cad you were !" asserted Mr.. Howard,
with sweeping impartiality. "They
say there's higher play in her house
than in any other private house in
| iTo,Joo d. Toro 4 IT, ,.. NL.