The Coconino weekly sun., 1892-01-14
WIT AND WISDOM.

to public charity his poor relatives
never applaud.
The debtor may have the consola-
ton of knowing that there is always
somebody thinking of him.
| A man will spend enough money
warming himself by grog shop fires to
buy out coal and wood business.
Yabsley--"Does your wife evel
choose your clothes for you?" Wick.
wire-''No; she merely picks the peck,
cts"
| There are two kinds of dogs, the
good kind which belongs to yourself
and the worthless cur that is kept by
your neighbor.
A mans character is like photo
graphic negative. 1t is blank until
it has been subjected to the chemistry
of circumstances.
She-"Why is it so many people kill
themselves at Niagara?" He-"After
they have had hack at it they have
nothing left to live for"
"Let's go into this restaurant and
get something to eat" "But I'm not
hungry" That's no matter; you
will be before you get anything"
A young main street merchant has
queer paper-weight. 1t is the first
biscuit his wife ever made after taking
a dozen lessons in a cooking school.
One of the specimens of Italian art
conspicuous in this country is the facile
dexterity by which short measure is
given in a nickers worth of peanuts.
Husband--"What in thunder is that
child reaching out and yelling so for?"
Wife-"He is probably looking for a
collar-button. They say he takes after
YOU"
New Clerk-"What do the jobbers
mean by putting C. o. d. on all the
packages they send us?" Jeweler-l
~ guess they think we are little
fishy."
Mrs. Gobbs-''I think it very strange
that your friend Dobbs never married"
MIR. Gobbs--"Oh, you don't know
Dobbs. He isn't half such fool as he
looks"
A good many of the people who lie
awake nights wondering what they
will do when they get to Heaven will
have to brace up or they will never get !
there at all.
Mr.. Nicefellow CATER mistletoe
kiss)-"1 did not know that your
family copied the English customs
Sweet Girl-"We don't. except at
Christmas"
He-''Well, how is Mr.. Jones get
ting on since his accident?" She
They say he doesn't seem like him.
self" He--''Well, that must be a |
comfort to his wife"
Hungry Guest---"How is thisp l or
dered steak and poached egg. / |
see the egg, but not the steak" Ia
BILE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS all right, sab.
De steak am under de egg"
Mary, wish you would |
be more careful. am very sorry to
hear my wife has to scold you so often.
Mary-"Oh, don't you mind me, sir.
i don't take any notice of it.
"Do you think that monkeys can be
taught to talkP" he asked. II never
put the question that way" she re-
piled. II always wondered whether
they could be taught not to-"
Beggar-"Please, sir, will you lend
me dime ter git somethin' ter eat?"
Gentleman-"You've got a quarter in
your hand now. What's that forP"
Beggar.-"Thats ter tip tn waiter"
al looks like a tramp, ma'am," he
said, "but amt. I'm sailor, ma'am
/ was wrecked and washed ashore"
"You amt been washed since, III
wager" said the unsympathetic wo-
man.
Mr.. n. Peck-"I should think you
would be ashamed to wear the hair of
another woman on your head" Mrs.
N. Peck--'.Shame yourself, for You
wear the skin of another calf ON your
feet"
Shelf you could only ask papa
and mamma I'm sure everything could
be arranged satisfactorily" He
"When Is the best time, dearestp"
-"Well the Junta generally feels the
best after dinner"
$50 they sent your poem back?'
Eyes, but the editor gave me a very
favorable criticism" .'What did he
say" "He said he was glad to see
that had at last learned to write only
on one side of the paper"
Chicago Mani want to change
my order for linen buster, and order
q fur-lined coat" Tailor-'sYes, sir.
Nothing wrong, sir7" Chicago Man