The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-12
MIscELLAnEous.

paste-pot 'Why, of course it u.s." re-
Piled the Lentumbrella joke. "Just
look at us!"-Indianapolis Journal
in Crowded, Stranded Street Car.
-Conductor-''Move forward, please"
Disgruntled THAT'S what
we should like to have your car do."-
Boston Transcript. -
old Yallerby-"What .yo' wants to
do, Nose, am to save de pennies" Nose
~ nebber has none, to save, uncle. Old
Whitewash allus pays me in silver OF
bills. "-Harper's Bazar.
Prisoner (who has just been success
fully defended by his attorney on a
charge OF burglary, eagerly)--''You'n
defend me next time, too, won't you?"
-Fliegende Batter.
Explained. - Jones - ''What has
made the telephone so successful, do
you imagine?" Brown-tI presume it is
owing to the fact that it is run on sound
principles. detroit Free Press.
She Didn't Understand.-Mrs.H Hicks
II read every day about the peace of
Europe which all the rulers seem to
want; but there is one thing about it
don't understand" Hicks-sWhat is
that?" Mrs. Hicks-''Which piece it is )"
IN. Y. Herald.
The Humane Girl - George -
EITHER you must marry me or put me
out of my misery" Ethel-'Must 1
choose?'' George "You must" Ethel
with a sigh)-"Well, where is the ax?'
IN. Y. Herald.
"A small boy went to see his grand
mother. After looking eagerly around
the handsomely furnished room where
she sat, he exclaimed, inquiringly: 20,
grandma! where is the miserable table
papa says you keep?''
dancing Men.-''What charming
waltz they're playing upstairs. More
champagne, waiter. ThanksD" 1--WE
only just come-not been upstairs yet.
One hears the music so much better
down here. Gold outlet, please, and
salad. Thanks0''-Punch.
-Escalloped Eggs.-Fill the egg dish
with the whites beaten; make hollow
in the center, and put in the unbeaten
yolk; scatter over the top little salt
and pepper, and lay small piece of
butter on the yolk. Bake about two
minutes.
AT 100 yards the drift of Spring.
field rifle bullet is about two inches; at
1000 yards it is more than sixteen feet.
When fresh wind is blowing across
the range the bullet will drift from one
and one-half to seven feet in distance
of 500 yards, and sometimes as much as
twenty-eight feet in distance of 1000
yards.
artesian we'll near Edensburg. The
well spoken of is down about 200 feet,
but the water in it is still 100 feet below
the surface. The popularity consists
in the fact that, when there is no wind,
the water is that distance below the
curling; when there is high wind,
flowing water pours out of the pipe.
Editor Weekly Sewer - Nov, I
want man of good imagination to
bring me column or so of matter each
week concerning the petty quarrels and
scandals that are alleged to occur at
the various clubs. Do you think you
could manage it?" Applicant for posi-
tion-'Yes, sir; enjoy the acquaint-
ance of every club waiter in the city"
The Club.
AT an expense of s79,3OO contracts
have been let for furnishing the worlds
fair with boilers of 10000 horsepower
capacity. The exposition power plant
will burn oil instead of coal. About 225,-
900 barrels will be required, for which
the Exposition company will pay 72K
cents a barrel. The contract has been
let for putting in about twelve miles of
sewerage pipe in the grounds for ST., 1876.
A pure white mink is the picture of
innocence. Every movement embodies
a thought of gentleness. Notwith-
standing all this Pittsburgh paper
records the bloodthirstiness of pure
white mink in East Bradford, Chester
county. Fifty chickens and one hun
dred ducks is the death record of that
innocent looking animal BEFORE in turn,
it fell before the muzzle of trusty
rife.
Amos B. Carter, of Elan, Pa, the
father of twenty7one children, cele-
brated his eightieth birthday last week.
He was married but once, and his wife
died about two years ago. Upon her
tombstone is this poetic inscription,
placed there by Mr.. Carriers direction:
''Some bave children and some have
none; here lies the mother of twenty
one." Mr.: Carter is a very fatherly old
man.
In it's postal service the United
States uses annually $4,000 pounds of
wrapping Irvine, half million lead
pencils, 1900 barrels of ink, 1900 quarts
Of mucilage, 10000 pounds of rubber
bands, $4,000 gross of pens and various
other items in similar quantities. These
are all shipped from large brick ware
house on street, Washington. D. C.
Idaho will show some splendid speci-
mems of mica in the mines building of
the worlds fair. 1t has lodges of mica
eight feet thick and apparently mex
haustible. Sheets of it as large as ten
by twelve inches, without a flaw, and
as thin as tissue paper, are not uncom-
mon. 1t is proposed to have some of
the windows in the Idaho building
glazed with mica.
Mark Remission, of Phillips, Me-.
has bull moose which he has raised
from calf, which is SO tame that he
turns it out every warm day to browse
in the neighboring fields. He catches
the big bull as easily as he would pet
lamb, and is breaking him to harness.
He hitched the moose to wagon last
summer and was carried ten miles at
railroad speed before he could stop the
animal.
Two Ways to Win.-Messenger Boy
Ito comrade) -Say, the woman where I
took letter gimme a quarter" what
for doin'?" Nothin'. She sed / was "a
little gentleman for keeping my cap off
in her house" ''Geewhitaker! five
nickels for that!'' ''Yes; but | didn't
tell her the fellow that sent the letter
gimme a quarter to keep my cap off so
S none of 'em in the house could spot
my number. IN. Y. Tribune.
There is scheme afoot to create
greater Boston by including sixty-eight
lawns and cities in ono voS< ,,,o4ro~o1: