davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
A PREFERRED CREDITOR.
He Certainly Did Come In Ahead of the
Others.

A good story is going the rounds
about a New York merchant who re-
Gently failed for large amount. He
called all his creditors together and
offered to settle with them for ten cents
on the dollar, giving them his notes.
payable in thirty days.
AS most of the creditors had little
hope Of getting anything, they eagerly
accepted the proposition. One man,
however, stood out for better terms,
and all efforts to get him to agree were
futile. Finally, the bankrupt took him
out in the hall and said:
"ven you come in an sign NIT de
udders, den / malSey you preferred credi-
tori
"All right" said the kicker, 'under
those circumstances will agree to a
settlement"
The papers were signed and all the
creditors left except the one who had
been told he was to be preferred.
What are you waiting for?" said the
man who had failed.
"Why, you said l was to be preferred.
am waiting to know what am going
to get"
"Well, I tell you-you get notings. '
"Get nothing? Why, you promised
to make me a preferred creditor if
would sign with the res"
"And SO you are. make you pre-
ferred tell you now you get notings
De udders wait thirty days before dey
know it, and den dey get notings. y
Chicago Mail.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
THE CAPTAINS PUDDING.
How the Master Contrived to Get All tn.
Plums.

How the Master Contriv6d to Get All the
Plums.
The following story is told of sea
captain and his mate. Whenever there
was plum pudding made by the cap
tain's orders all the plums were put
into one end of it, and that end placed
next to the captain, who after helping
himself passed it to the mate, who
never found any plums in his part of it.
After this game had been played for
some time the mate prevailed on the
steward to place the end which had no
plums in it next the captain.
The captain no sooner perceived that
the pudding had the wrong end turned
towards him than, picking up the dish
and turning it round, as if to examine
the china, he said This dish cost me
two shillings in Liverpool" and put it
down, as if without design, with the
plum end next to himself
as it possible" said the mate, taking
up the dish; 81 shouldn't suppose ii
was worth more than shilling" And
as if in perfect innocence, he put down
the dish with the plums next to him
self
The captain looked at the mate; the
mate looked at the captain.
The captain laughed; the mate
laughed.
"I'll tell you what, young one" said
the captain; you've found me ont; SC
we'll just cut the pudding lengthwise
this time, and have the plums fairly
distributed hereafter. Yankee Blade.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
Velvet Used in Combination.

The, combination of velvet with all
species of fabric will continue to be
feature of spring and summer costumes
and evening toilets. Chestnut brown
velvet sleeves appear upon very many
of the beautifully braided spring gowns
of ecrue, fawn and gray cashmere and
vicuna cloth, and very closely fitted cui-
rass corsages of moss, nuns gray, black
or brown velvet are made up extra
long, to come down we'll over the hips,
and graceful 'finger-tip'' drapery is
deity arranged upon this part, cover.
ing all its lower edges. Fan folds of
the wool material are closely massed
and hooked to the back of the velvet
bodice. BY a "fnger-tip drapery" is
meant that which can be easily caught
up with the finger-ends and adjusted
here and there in an easy, artisticall,
careless fashion. IN. Y. Post
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
which win Yon no9

Which will you do, smile and make
others happy, or be Grabbed and make
everybody around you miserable? You
can live among flowers and singing
birds, or in the mire surrounded by fogs
and frogs The amount of happiness
which you can produce is incalculable,
if you will only show smiling face. a
kind heart and speak pleasant words.
On the other hand, by sour looks, cross
words and a fretful disposition you can
make hundreds unhappy almost beyond
endurance. Which will you do? Wear
pleasant countenance, let joy beam in
your eye, and love grow on your fore
head There is no Joy so great as that
which springs from kind act or pleas
ant deed, and you may feel it at night
when you rest, and at morning when
you rise, throughout the day when
about your daily business. Texas Ad'
vocate
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
ACCOUNTABLE BoREs.
People Who Are Always Making Unpleas-
ant Suggestions.


ant Suggestions.
OF ali the people from whom we pray
to be delivered. deliver lis from those
who are always seeing rescmbanccs!
Everybody knows them-you all have
one or more of them among your ac.
quaintances, When they come into
your presence, they put on their glasses
most of them wear glasses-and sub
ject you to as rigid an inspection as
they would subject horse which they
thought of purchasing, and which was
suspected of being spawned or found
cred
They will examine the texture of
your skin, the droop of your eyelids,
the curve of your mouth and the freck-
les on your nose, and by the time you
are. nervous enough to fly, they will
come out with an opinion.
why bless me! how much you re-
semblc your Uncle Aaron!'
Sometimes your grandfather, or
father, or Aunt Polly, or Sally. is the
one to whom you are discovered BEAR
ing a resemblance, and, as a general
thing, all these relatives are very ugly,
and of course you feel intensely fiat
tered. 1t is the business of these abom.
Unable people to make You feel that you
are monstrosity.
They will cxpiate on your appear
ance, and wonder if you are we'll
Don't you look little yellow around
the eyes? A sure indication that the
grip has entered your system, and has
begun it's deadly work. But perhaps
it is only your liver. Are you certain
you are not bilious? You ought to
take some bitters. Then they will
want to know if you are as feshy as
usual, and they will exclaim because
you are fat, or because you are lean, as
the case may be.
If you have a small waist, they will
suggest tight lacing-if large one,
they will ask if you are not afraid of
dying of the dropsy. And they will re-
member some remote ancestor of yours
who had it. If you are getting past
thirty, they will ask if you dye your
hair, or suggest that your false tee tn
make you look ten years younger.
Then, they will begin to reckon up your
age by the birth of Mr'Jones' Ned or
Mr.. Robnson's Ellen, or by the cold
Friday, or the hot Monday, or some
other event of equal Importance, ant
equally well fixed in the calendar.
You are too pale, or< too red; yor
should wear green, or pink, or blue; in
short any color but the one you have
on. That is dreadfully unbecoming!
When they have done with your per
sonal appearance, they will turn theil
attention to your friends and relatives
If you have any relatives who are no
quite respectable-an and who has not?-
! they will be particularly anxious K
know about these same relatives. Ha'
your Cousin Dick secured divorces
from his wife yet? or Is it really so
that your husbands uncle's cousin!
wife is suspected of poisoning he
mother-in-law?
Then they sigh, and roll up thei
eyes, and advise you not to feel ba(
about it, and inform you that nobod,
is responsible for what their relations
do.
And, it you are man, you, feel as i
you would like to kick them soundly
and if you are woman you wish thei
grandfather had been hung, SO yo1
could twit them of it. But there is n
redress, and it is one of the evils tha
must be borne. Kate Thorn, in N. Y
| WeCklV.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
A PARTISAN TOILET.
How to Get Rested and RcfresheJ-The
Value of the Bath.
4z~;I L,4I, - i,,,ank,, ,,n;o,,t q

HOW TO OcD heSteu uIlU hciTcSheu-inc
Value of the Bath.
/. A tepd bath Of twenty minutes
and shower bath of five.
q A rest of thirty minutes,
8. Face, throat and neck subjected to
a gentle friction of elder flower water
mixed with half goblet of warm
water This removes all impurities
from the pores and gives the surface
clear, ivory hue.
4. Scented oris powder rubbed in the
hair and brushed out again, being care
full to remove all traces of it from the
temples and nape of the neck.
s. A delicate cream, similar 10 cold
cream-the juice of lettuce being the
chief ingredient-lai over the face,
neck and hands. After ten minutes re-
move with fine linen cloth. This is
said to obliterate traces of the contrac-
tion and WEAKNESS of the features Incl
dent to society or stage life. 1t is a
delicate operation neither to roughen
the surface nor make it red. 1t should
leave the complexion polished and
whitened.
6. Voloutine Ia mixture of rice powder
and bismuth, the latter giving pcrma-
nency and the former delicacy to the
preparatory applied with great care,
producing clear, alabaster whiteness,
with trace of luster, yet showing no
sign of any foreign substance.
I. The eyebrows are smoothed with
SMALL soft brush, leaving trace of
fardc Indien, and with a leather es-
tampe soft shadow is laid under the
eyes to increase their brilliancy.
To follow the foregoing directions
literally, under all circumstances, would
be difficult, says Partisan exchange.
1t is quoted here to give some idea of
the manner in which age is concealed
by people who have made concealment
fine art. To practical person this
may be simplified We know that a
| bath is to refresh as well as to make
clean the person. A sponge bath with
little bay rum or alcohol added to the
water will both cleanse and refresh.
The shower bath creates a glow; this
can be obtained by the sudden applica.
tion, after the bath, of a large towel
wet with cold water, followed by fric'
tion and gentle exercise. Some peo
pie are too delicately organized fol
such heroic treatment. The half-houl
rest is no inconsiderable factor in the
restoring process and deserves specia
attention. If rightly taken it is mag
ic reiuvenator. Chicago Mail.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

Admiration is we'll enough in its
wav. but it can never do the work Of
love. Rams Horn.
The good actor not only takes the
cake" but he usually takes the princi-
pal role. -Yonkers Statesman.
When you open window on the
railway train the first thing to catch
your eye is cinder Boston Bulletin.
1T has been always observed that
none are so insolent in power as they
who have usurped an authority to
which they had no right ~ National
Weekly.
-Mudge--What paradox woman is!
WiclSwire- -You-don't-say? Nudge
Consider her foot, for instance. The
larger it is, the less it appears. Indian
apolis Journal
-He-That Chicago girl is making a
hit here: at least half dozen men are
now at her feet. She Slightly JEALOUSY
I've no doubt there is room for them
all-Yale Record.
The man who is always anticipat-
ing happiness tomorrow is good deal
better off, anyway, than the man who
spends his time thinking how wretched
he was day before yesterday. -Somer-
Vile Journal.
Instead of wishing he was younger,
man should wish he might live twice
as long as usual The old know so
much that is wise and interesting; the
Young are so ignorant and foolish
Atchison Globe.
-sWhat are you laughing about,
Sappie?" "A joke that Smart was just
telling" Zone that would make dom
kew laugh?'' "YesS how do you know?"
"Oh, Isuppose because saw you laugh
ing."-N. Y. Press
-Beggar. Sir, am starving Cra-
sus.-Here take this cent and tell me
how you became so miserably poor
Beggar. --Ah, sir, was like you; was
too fond of givingaway large sums OF
money to the poor. Epoch.
Neither One Nor T other. -Tomson-
What were the prices of admission Il
the ball the other night? Cholly, th'
dude-Gentlemen one dollar. and ladie
fifty cents. Tomson-And what di'
they charge you?--Yankee Blade.
-"Ah, have found you at last Mis-
june" said Mr.. Garruious, "and nov
: for nice long talk. But first shall
, not bring you an ice?" mo, thanks,
returned Miss June, but If you are g
: ing to talk very lorg you may bring IN
E an opiate."
( -Facetious Hicks.-Mrs- Dix-Hicl
( will get cold snack tonight in plaS
d of q hot dinner. Dix-Anything wron
!, over there? Mrs Dix-=He told Mr.
) Hicks this was bargain day at Il
o post Office. when they sold ,hirtes
! stamps for a cent sad quarter
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
HARD LUCK.
wall OF a Man who Was Unfortunately
Born on Friday.

Born on Friday.
Talk about luck" said the weary
eyed man with the long face, 81 am the
unluckicst man that ever was born.
No other man in the world ever had
such hard luck. was born on Friday,
on the thirteenth day of the month, and
was the thirteenth child in our family,
On my thirteenth birthday fell out of
three-story window and knocked out
all of my teeth. Afterward ! had all
the maladies known to man. i went
out west and had to walk back. My
father left me some houses and they
burned down. I bought share in a
schooner and she sunk on the very next
next trip. went to work on a railroad
and in three days was knocked four
hundred feet in collision and was in a
hospital for six months
"You do seem to have had your share
of hard luck" said sympathizer.
'Luck!" said the man. "Why, look
at me when I wanted to get married.
fell in love with girl and ! thought
she loved me. ! went to her and l
said: elizabeth, were you ever mar
ried?'
"'Why, no. she said, blushing. You
know that
"'Well, Elizabeth, 1 said, you are a
good girl. and since no man -
'sThen she burst out crying and ran
out of the room so that could not fin
ish what / wanted to say"
"Wcll, that was funny way to ask
q woman to marry you" said the man
Of sympathy.
What way?"
"Telling her that you were sorry that
no man would have her."
"No man have herr" said the unlucky
man. II never said word about that.
| was going to say, since no man could
be good enough for her, / hoped she
would forgive my failings Wasn't II
hard luck that she wouldn't let me
finish my sentence?"
"Why didn't you go back and ex
plain it?"
"Well, said the unlucly man, sorrow
fully, II was bound to get married, SC
| went and proposed to Sarah Smith
and she took me-"
''At any rate You got married?"
married! Not bit of it. Saraf
Smith heard that loved Elizabeth apt
had made a mistake, and she. got mac
and broke the engagement
"Then you had your chance to g.
back to your first lover"
81 did,"
ibid you get her?"
"Get her? No! Itell You, man, In
the unluclsiest being alive wen
back and asked her plunk out to MARI.
me and found that after she had hear
about my engagement to Sarah Smitl
she'd gone and promised to marry fcl
low who'd been begging her to MARI
him for five years"
! "Why didn't you wait then to see
she didn't break her engagement"
"Hang it man, did,"
"Did you go back again?"
"No,'I didn't"
"Why not?"
because I'd changed my mind abou
getting married. Didn't tell you
was the unluckiest man in the world?'
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
SHE KNEW 'EM.
A Man Must Have Some One to Boss
Around.


A Man Must Have Some One to Boss
Around.
"You sec," said the woman who is
given to investigating the cause of
everything in this life, sit is just this
way: Your husband is tyrant in the
house"
'The worst kind Of a tyrant," re-
turned the woman who felt that she
had grievance.
"While mine is as quiet and consid-
crate as man can be-" continued the
other, yours orders this done and that
done, and wants to know why in the
world you have not attended to some
trivial matter"
"He just lords it over me and tries to
run the whole house."
"While mine does practically what I
say when he is home
II wonder why it is.
"I'm coming to that. Your husband
has to jump around at some ones bid
ding at the Office"
20, yes. He has man over him who
| holds him TO the Strlctest klnu Oh &c
countability for everything"
"Your husband has no authority at
all"
"None at all"
"That's the trouble. A man must
have authority somewhere, so yours ex-
ercises his at home"
"But how about yours"
20, my husband is the man wh1
makes your husband jump around al
the office He has so much trouble
with the clerks there that he's mighty
willing to let me run things at home
You'd better get your husband in
position where he can boss some mer
and then he'll let you alone. I've stud
led the subject and know what I'm
talking about. Chicago Tribune.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
VOLUME VIII.
THE CRANKY MAN.


Short and stout or lean and lanky,
Russian, Prussian, Pole or Yankee,
For . man who's cross and cranky
We've no USE
Though from pity VIC endure him.
OR from friendship try TO cure him,
He'sa nuisance we assure him,
And goose.
Swapping, snarling, scolding, scowling,
Glaring, grurting grumbling, growing,
Hating, hitting, Kissing, bowling,
Always ho
Is tho most unhappy person
That was ever laid o curse on,
Fact there isn't any worse on
Land or sea.
Wife and children fear to meet him,
Friends, If any, cease to greet him,
Strnngcrs with aversion treat him:
Smallest things
Vex and irritate him till he,
Mad with passion, wants to kill; he
BY his childish actions, silly
Laughter brings.
Never music Is he hearing,
Never beauty is appearing
To his eyesl no fun that's cheering
Docs he know.
Hating self he hates his brothers;
All the joys Of life he smothers,
Lone, forlorn, apart from others
He must go.
He's nuisance and he knows IL,
And his face unhappy shows 1t,
But the cranky follow owes 1t
TO himself.
For ho lets his temper rule him,
And lifc's petty troubles fool him
Now wen ley him--iust to cool him
On o shelf.
III. G. Dodge, in Goodalls Sun
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22

Blanche--fou don't tell me you are
engaged to hotel waiter?
Cora-Yes, but he'll be rich scme
day.
"Nonsenser
Certainly he viii. Dent you know
that oil things como tc ~ iprn THAT
waits -. brooklyn Lite.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
A Valuable Tin.

Bullfnch-How much is this ther.
mometer?
Clerk-Seventy-five cents.
Bullfinch-Why, got one just like il
here a couple of days ago for forty
cents.
Clerk-What time in the day did yor
buy it2
Bullfnch-About eight o'clock in the
morning
Clerk-Ah, well, it's twelve now
thermometers are always higher al
noon.-Boston Courier.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22

"Mr. Collum," said the city editor to
one of his reporters, do yeu drink?"
mo, sir"
81 wish you would acquire the liquor
habit, for want you to make per-
sonal test of one of the new species of
drunkenness and write it up in good
style. e."-Judge.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
All Alone at Home.

When the house is all alone by itself
inexperienced persons may believe that
it behaves exactly as it does when there
are people in it, but that is a delusion,
which you will discover if you are ever
left alone in it at midnight sitting up for
the rest of the family. At this hour its
true disposition will reveal itself No
matter how strong woman's nerves
are, there is nothing more squealxy,
snappy, creaky, fidgety, cracky, moany
and dismal than the house she is all
alone in. Then, when the folks come
home you know how it is; welcome
steps are heard the bell rings, the lights
are lit; perhaps something may be got
out to eat People talk and tell where
they have been, and ask if you are
lonesome. And not stair cracks, no
step is heard on the roof, no click to the
front door, neither bookcase nor table
cracks; the house has on its company
manners-only you have found out how
it behaves when it is alone. of
Gold
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22

Editor Ito Office Bcy)-"How do
you spell 'tautology?'" Office Boy
(promptly)-1 don't spell It at ALL .
Editor (angrilyl-"What did You go to
sehoel iorga Office BOY (sadly)-''iies
cause ! had to- Christian at Work,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22

First Medic--"How did the recep-
tion go off?" Second Medic" "Splen-
didly. It was like q carbuncle in two
ways" +. M.-."RGw so?"s S. NJ
"Why, IN the first place, it was o great
gathering, and secondly, 1t was o swell
affair."
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
Educational Note.

Professor Cooking at his watch)--AS
we have got few minutes ] shall be
glad to answer any question thBt any
one may wish wish ss .ss ask.
student-whst time is IL piesse?-'
Texas Siitinss.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-22
COMBINATION SUITS.
Coat, Vest and Trousers Should Never b
All Diftercnt in Color.

Coat, Vest and Trousers Should Never Be
All Diterent in Color.
Coat and vest of the same color,
weave and figure, black, dark blue, or
dark mixture of any color, with trou-
sers of lighter color, plaid, stripe or
fancy mixture, is not only good form,
but very nobby.
Coat and trousers dark, same weave
and figure design, with fancy vest is a
very genteel style OF suit
A suit of all the same color weave
and pattern, no matter whether light
or dark, so that the shade is seasonal
BILE, is always correct and is the most
popular garb for the business man OF
to-day
Nothing in the way of accessories
can redeem a suit in which the coat,
vest and trousers are each different
from the other. Such piece. meal, mot
ley garb is too English, yc know" II
is really never seen on dressers making
any pretension to taste except the ''su-
perhuous Englishman, that ill-star'
red member of an English family OF
sons, who is left over after one is placed
in the army, another in the navy, an
other in the church and so on, until the
soft places are exhausted. This sur
plus son must be provided for, so he is
sent to the states" Here he becomes
a chronic bad dresser (he gets his cloth
ing from "ome'' chronic alien and a
chronic situation seeker. He can be
seen any day on our streets and is easi
ly distinguishable by his motley outfit.
Short top coat, pot hat--a size toe
small; shoes size too large; trouser:
at high-water mark; coat vest ant
trousers in violent antagonism as tc
color; walking-stick carried upside
down and cob pipe. Apparel Gazette
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1892-11-06
THE BLoTTER-
SUPERIOR couxr-IlcHrESsSss. >.


J. r. Mess va Jnnius Rochester ct al Paint
ifrs motion for DEFAULT granted.
Frank sanGei VS.. y g. Bitterly Ell sl.-Aotion
fos dsfanIt OF Defendant BREEZY: granted; OF
der signed.
liza Il. stevens va ". T. steyeas-Divores:
hearing continued 20 November ].
SUPERIOR couKF-osRoRs, !.
Bernard Cohn st al. vs. NJ Hers pSiug-order
OF defsnlt and iedg ment in ths SUM OF sl.bSf
and eostst signed.
Puget sound Machinery Depot vs.. ]. r. No
Corlniek 4 Co Motion for nav trial; over
ruled; exceptions allowed;
Andrew Larson VS.. Nest Coast Manufacturing
and improvement Company Motion Tor new
tEssll oyeETuiai
Turasr Il Aecatcheou We. George T. Brand et
al motion 70 set aside default and Judgment
against George l.. Brand granted.
sUrERioR couRT-Huxgs.
Oregon Improvement Company Va o. f.
Bslding ct aL--Aotion for deiHuls aud iudg-
meat granted.
Julius +. Hale Va n. A. Contradiction Tor
default; granted.
W. r. BOYD Company vs.. George /. Hill-Mo-
ton for deisuiti granted.
r. A. Jensen vs.. Moauiisa--Winaor Lumber
Com psBy Judgment fer sia5 and costs, signed.
stets OF WsshiBEtoa ". Waiter Monroe De-
fsnesnt ssnteuesd 10 three years ia state
psalfeuiaFT,