davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
EPISODE ON a STREET CAR.
The Laugh ON the Conductor and Nm.
Joysd by All the Passengers.

The Laugh on the Conductor and Ea-
Joysd by All the Passengers.
There was man aud boy and a
dog The man WAS waiting for a car
So was the boy so was the dog.
When the car came they ali took the
rear platform and stood there. In
few minutes the conductor came out,
collected two fares and tinkled the
bell twice. He noticed the dog, and,
turning to the man, said:
Dogs are against the rules.
The man was deeply interested in
the white film of smoke which coiled
upward from the end of his cigar
and did not hear. 80 the conductor
touched him ON the elbow:
Dogs are not allowed to ride on
street cars, said
Did you. indeedl All, and do the
dogs mind il very much. | wonder2"
The two high school girls Uttered
and the boy shot a wad of paper
at passing vehicle. The conductor
looked black and growled:
Please put that dog off, win your
"Will II Well, not if the court
knows herself.
We'll, will. then, and he showed
the dog off the platform, slammed
the door and went forward The
man smiled, the boy whistled, the
| dog jumped back again and the high
school girls Uttered little more. In
few minutes the conductor came
out again and he looked ugly,
Now. look here, my friend" he
said. Il want you to understand that
want you To put off that dog and
keep him off
All right: | understand
We'll, do it then.
"Oh, no; not this evening"
Biff The dog yelped and landed
half way across the street
Now, Mr. Man. the next time
lave to put that dog off this car Ill
| fire you after him, and he went for.
ward and ierked the bell rope. The
man still watched the curling smoke,
the boy whistled again, the dog
jumped back ON the platform and
the passengers smiled and nudged
each other At the next crossing the
conductor burst out on the platform
with the snort of war horse:
See here, smarty- but just then
the boy jumped off, called his dog
and the two went trotting down the
| street
The passengers roared, the man
knocked the ashes off his cigar with
his little finger and smiled, the con
ductor glared at him for an instant
chewed up the rest of his sen.encs
and jumped back to his post growl
ing. Blast fool anyhow Omaha
! Bee.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
Doctored Its Own Tail.

A small boy gave a lesson In natural
history the other day He brought into
the office species of lizard popularity
known rs the swift" Holding the lit
tie reptile above his head he let it fall
To the floor. with tine result that Sec
tion of its tail was broken off. Noticing
that IT was minus a part of lis prehen-
sile organ. the swift, after discovering
the piece of tail lost, backed slowly up
to it, and placing the stub against the
piece, held it in contact for few sec
onds. and then ran swiftly away with
his tail glued together, apparently as
sound as ever.
The experiment was repeated several
times, with tine same result. Swift glue
conld doubtless be used successfully in
sticking dismenfbered limbs, fingers,
etc, together, and We throw out It's
suggestion To local surgeons for what it
is worth.-Ontario Observer
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
A WOMAN.

All. she is of our thought and tirne.
Aud We are vaguely loaih 10 trace
Through nights of variant age and CLINE
Her brthright 10 ssrvtle race.
Amid .he tumait Of our days.
Thrilled with the fire of hope and dream
She treads Ia fearless wise the ways
That men had sought anti trud supreme.
With glaahsued eyes -lle fares. aud none
shall check her warm, uplifting soul
That secs sslar some shining goal
Like the glory Ut a saR.
she feels the cxultant sense OF life.
Aud battles in the blood of strife:
Where men have climbed. her hands shall
reach.
What men have taught. her tongue sasu
teach.
Scxlc.s In struggle, laid in mind.
Fertile In fresh exiedient, strong
tn bold her right against the wrvng.
To swek what others dare TO tind
She stands uncowed, unbowed unbenl
The mistress OF her high intent.
Yet she ts IT a woman ssill.
Who @esps NJ anls Women weep.
Who loves only women WILL
And Fears her JOYS women rcMD.
Whose niS stery In its sacred stir.
Is the inytaissc part Vt her:
Whose charm Is mot uf man, but blown
Like the Wild roses. all her own.
Sweetheart and flower af fruitful years,
Time cannot change her smiles and t.ars,
Thine cannot rnh her Of the grace
Which burns like love light in her face.
George Edgar Montgomery in Frank l.eslie's
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

A witness in case recently cn trial
in one Of the courts in Boston testified
that the defendant was not drinking
man land only took cocktails" Judge
Blank, who presided. il a teetotaler.
He noticed among the spectators a well
known physician. bonyivant. and at
the recess called him up TO the bench
and asked him to define cocktail
"A cocktail" responded the doctor,
lis feather dipped in an emollient
which is applied 10 r dry or irritated
throat for the removal of dryness or ir-
ritation"
The learned judge thanked him, but
the story that the court subsequently
dipped feather In Yaseline and touch
ed his palate with II under the impress
sion that he was taking cocktail Is
probably a lawyers yarn. = Boston
Transcript.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
New 10 The Game.

II was III the Astor House billiard
room. A crowd was gathered about
one of the tables on the Barclay
street side. watching two experts
playing cushion caroms. In the
crowd We're couple of men to the
soles of whose heavy boots still clung
some red mud. They were very
much interested As the two play
ers banged at the cushions and
counted point after point their eyes
distended and presently their mouths
too. They watched the play, then
looked about mt the other spectators
to see how they were taking it.
Ii was too much for them Finally
one leaned toward the other and
said in voice low and wondering:
Say, George, this beats mel Talk
about luck Say, did y'ever see any
fellers miss the fust ball so many
times and county, New York Re
eorder.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
A HALF BLOWN ROSE.

What Is the mystery. sweet rosa
Which thou wilt not reveal,
What secret in thy golden hears
Dost thou so long conccals
The crimson ~ thy velvet cheek
MI-ht ssem the finsh OF shame
DID not tay pure and modest AIR
Forbid the thought OF blame.
Perchance tbs anger's fiery CLOS.
RsscaiiSe the soriiy sun
Too ardent IN his woolng grew.
Aud deemed thee lightly woa
Or TO that dazzling butterfly.
Thai fiirts with every flower.
Hast thou too fondly listened
Through one enchanted hours
And since the faithless rover
Forgets zach whispered vow,
Like a mortal art thou piniug
Upon thy lonely bough.
Still. still to my soft pleading
But half thy charms disclose,
Though in thy full orbed splendor
Thou wouldst be the peerless rose.
But, ah, take heed. thou blossom cog 4
Thy May will soon be past:
With every tiecsing momeut
Thy bloom Is fading fast
So hasten ere II be too late
To nohly master pain
Shine forth Ia all thy vesture bright
And thou'lt not live in vain.
New Orleans Times Democrat
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
A sLIIIfnI Eve.

Il is easy to tell the relative amount OF
wool and cotton in piece OF colored un
derwear. when You know how Men who
have made the subject n speciality can do
this by holding the cloth In the light and
looking along IL The cotton aud wool can
be distinguished by the difference In their
colors, which exists, although the same
dye was used for both The unframed eye
could hardly detect the fact that the cloth
had two shades, hut the skill that comes
from, long practice makes the thing simple
--IntaryIew In New York Tribune
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
Anrinnt. sn,,rrutIiI.na.

The ancients peopled all distant lands
with monsters and all distant seas with
horrors. Unknown aud distant conn
tries were. to their superstition. peopled
with ''gorgons. hydras and chimeras
dire" The distant scas were filed with
monstrous dragons and serpents, Of
which the sea serpent is today. perhaps,
a survival. The unknown oceans were
filled with whirlpools that sucked in
mariners, who were saerilegious enough
to approach them, 10 an awful death.
Perhaps these snperstitions, as much
as any one thing, KEEP; the world for 50
many centuries an unexplored and un-
known waste.-Yankee Blade.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
A New Elemen. In a Mineral.

II is reported that new element has
been recognized in a mineral found in
Egypt by Johnson Pasha in 1890. This
mineral. first called "Johnsonite," but
afterward masrite. consists mainly of
aluminium, manganese, cobalt and iron.
in combination with snlphuric acid Il
dissolyes In water and Yields on treat
ment with snlphuric hydrogen in an
acetic acid solution white precipitate.
from which a pure hydroxide was pre-
pared. New York Journal.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

Said one of Buffalo Bills cowboys,
Il bought a pony in a hurry. and
jumped on his back. and he turned
out To be n bucker. Why, he kept
on bucking for three whole days and
nights
But how then did yon get your
mealsf" inquired the listener.
oh. said the cowboy. that was
easy enough. The boys kept shying
biscuits at me. and | caught them on
the fly.
Yes, but how did you get any
thing to drink. my ladf'
Well. replied the cowboy, the
fact was we had the good luck to be
close to little brook, and every tims
the horse bncked scooped up a it
tie water in my hand and drank IL
that way seef"-London Tit Bits.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
How 10 Tell prlde and Groom.

He always carries two new grips
and two umbrellas.
He always offers her his arm
He's always clean shaven and
wears, besides immaculate linen. a
careworn. worried expression.
He always pulls out his watch, pre-.
sumably to see how much of the
honeymoon is left.
When he registers at the hotel the
"and wife" is written twice as large
as his own name.
She never fails to ask how many
Jumps of sugar he takes in his coffee.
-Philadelphia Music and Drama.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
Grim sirna

Rain during a burial is considered
an excellent sign throughout the
West India islands. II one measures
his own height with a rod which
has been used IN measuring a corpse
for the coffin, he himself will die
within the year. A stroke with the
hand of corpse is believed by the
West Indian to I've a sure cure for
all pains and swellings. st. Louis
Globe Democrat.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

Ia TAsCOT. THE HUMAN FLY. DIVING MO
NET.
The Chicago Herald presents a series Of
pictures, reiaced from photographs. depict
Ing actual scenes in one of the greatest az
Eregations ever exhibited beneath canvas.
Their accuracy will not he questioned by
those who have visited the circus recently.
Reference is made to the spirited drawing OF
La Tascot the Human Fly,a In her daring
act Of diving into net The artist has evil
IDENTIFY made mistake In his perspective, for
as the picture Is drawn the suggestion that
the stakes are too short forces itself on all
who make critical analysis OF this spirited
sketch The LA Tascot" on the bill boards
il n far prettier female, but her face LACKS
the decision and character portrayed In thu
original Many are disappointed that tho
dive Is not made head first, ~ per advertise
Inent, but this feeling soon passes away.
The artist has shown Signeor Kelly i'm tho
star act Of the evening. Signeor Kelly Is the
champion bear buck rider of the world.
Those not acquainted with the dangers which
surround the life Of circus performer may
fail 10 properly appreciate the risk taken by
Signeor Kelly In the feat undertaken by him
as shown In the sketch There n a chance
that tho upright 50 firmly grasped by the
rider may break or pull out What would
bes.ome of the unfortunate mani He would
be dashed 10 the sawdust track Then, again,
the horse might drop dead. Those not in tn
business have no right TO criticise. but IL IL
hard to keep out OF oue's mind the recollec-
ton OF a scene shown on the bin boards,
where dying horse dsshes around the great
ring. carrying on his back graceful rider.
whose toes seem hardly to touch the galiop~
ing steed.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

LEVY STRONGHOLD ~ mrs NOSE BALANCING
ACT.
lie could have given valuable POINTERS about
the proper proportions of the various ami
mals and would have added TO the collection
beasts and birds and reptiles which could now
he nsesi to advantage.
The circus arts; Is a wonderful man, with
phenomenal size OF Imagination and sa-
preme contempt for facts He looks with
dissiain upon the modern realistic school Of
art He has no use for realism The circus
artist probably knows hia business For
many. many Years he has been drawing pic
lures OF elephants forty feet high tramping
their way majestieaily through scenes OF
Oriental splenhor Five generations have
stood with glaring eyes and open mouths be-
fore these great works Of the lithographer's
art They have patronized each succeeding
circus, and swallowed the rising lump OF dis
appointment occasioned by the discovery
that ths seventy five foot giraffe could stanf
erect IN a seven foot cage. Que hundred
years from now IL will be the same.
No man looks at the bill boards after the
circus has left town. As he passes by he
looks the other way. Ii Ii matter of regret
that the circus Is 40 far behind the progress
made by the artist aud tho advance agent
The advance agent l. a talented gentleman
with an enthusiastic temperament. As the
circus becomes more and more antiquatsd
the advance agent grows more eloquent. He
announces that all former achievements will
be cast in the shade; that the colossal aggre-
CATION Is grander than ever and that the
price Of admission will not he increased. The
circus artist is equal TO the occasion He de-
signs q new elephant, with a trunk thirty
feet la length, and draws vivid representa-
tion OF life and death fight between the
wild vat of Patagonia and company OF
sailors who have stepped ashore from man
nf-war
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
shn MD aud III. nihn..

When you save lady from being
killed in a runaway and she says
"Thanks." she really means, The next
timo yon do anything of that sort please
don't mnss the lace ON my dress. If
she really felt any sense Of gratitude
she would exclaim. call around and
I'll introduce you 10 my youngest sis
er."-Detrait Tribune.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

Hushand-If you don't stop using
those cosmetics. you'll have facial
paralysis
Wife Well. you've often said my
features look best Ia repose. New
York Weekly.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
THE ONLY HoDAG


Father put on his spectacles and
read that sign twice over. and then
turned to mother and said
Guess we'd better go in. I've
seen skunks and lions and possums
and hyenas by the CARLOAD. but ]
never saw hodag
There's six of us. and that's
$i50, replied mother.
"Oh, wall. il won't bust us. IL our
nayburs see the consarned thing and
we don't, they'll be CROWN about IL
fur year ! guess we'll take In the
hodag. It'll he sumthin fur the chill.
dren to ponder over" Father yielded
up 81 80 and in we went. The cage
was at the opposite end of the tent
and aa we went in a lecturer was
saying
Ladies and gentlemen. we have
the assurance of no less than five
well known naturalists that this is
the only living specimen of the no
dag now In existence. He was cap
nnel in a hyena trap in South AZ.
rltz. and was brought over here at
cost of S3, ,0O0. Come and gaze on this
wonder of the Nineteenth century"
We crowded up to gaze. Next
minute the four children of US were
laughing fit TO split, while mother
was 30 overcome she had to sit down.
What in creation has struck voc
folksf demanded father, as he wiped
Off his glasses
We laughed all the harder. and he
adjusted his glasses in solemn man.
ner, and turned to inspect the great
est living curiosity One look was
enough His jaw fell. tho color fed
from his face. and he made for the
door with the five of us following.
Not q word was said until we were
clear of tho tent Then father
stopped and looked at each one of
our grinning faces in rotation and
exclaimed:
.'Dod rot my shoes If that ain / the
crippled hog we sold to the tin ped
dler. but | want to say to you right
here and now that IL any one of you
ever says 'hodag in my hearin Ill
turn You outdoors without a second
shirt to your back New York
Herald.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
ON Arr.

Fond Mother-And so you think
the Elgin marbles the best, Mr..
BrushI
! Our Artist-oh, yes; decidedly %
Fond Mother should be 30 much
obliged TO you II you would get q
few for my Johnny next time you're
In town, Mr.. Brush, II they're nos
too expensive. The dear chi1d's NJ
ways losing his. Fun.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
s,,,~t .,,,. s,.,x

Mrs. Parvenu-ar Travis. you know ev-
erybody Who Is thai pretty girl over thervs
sitting on the diyant
Mr.. Travis-That Is one Of my sisters. Mira
Paryenu.
Mrs parvenu-fmleed, You don't look as
u you belonged 10 the Same family.
Mr. Travis ssadlyl--So. and we never shall
Burlington Free rress
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

Foote's ready reply to the caution.
"Your handkerchief. sir. il hanging out
Of your pocket. was of high merit. both
from the surprise and for the cordial
way In which the caution was accepted,
''Thank yon. sir; you know the company
better than / do."-Gentleman's Masa-
zine.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

The boa and its allies are entirely con-
fined to America, Australia and the
tropical Pacific islands. The pythons.
ON the other hand, are most's from the
Old World.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

sIoNoa EKILr. Taz sKAR-sucg RrnEn
There ID no use in kicking because the man
who was advertised To turn thirteen dmes
over twelve largo elephants simply jumps OF
of u springboand and turns n somersanlt over
one solitary, melancholy pachytierm with
far away look In his of eye Not half Of the
people in the vast audience would dare 10 per-
form that act
But in spite Of all these petty disappoint-
ments IL Is everlasting fun 10 see the circus.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
sha WIN ne Missed.

A west end lady is said 20 be scrt
ously III from over practice ON the
piano. just what may be the condi
ton of the nsighbora II left 10 tbs
imagination. Boston Post.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
II the Earth Wa. Proven.

II 4his globe were cooled down to 200
degs. below the zero of centigrade it
would be covered with sea of liquetied
gas thirty-tive feet deep, of which about
seven feet would be liquid oxygen
London Spectator.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
IL Did Seem strange.

Excited Lady ION the beachl-Whv isn't
something done for that ship in distress2
Why don't some of yon-
Coast Guard thurriedlyl-We have
sent the crew line to come ashore.
mum.
Excited Lady-Good gracious! We're
they waiting for formal inyitationi-
New York Observer.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
HOW 1T WAS PLAYED ON DAD.

ue Thought He Was Getting the nessss
of the Tin Psddisr. but NE Dfdn'a
You know how a pig is ON the farm
unless confined to q pen-aiways
wanting to get somewhere else. One
day one of our pigs got into the stabls
and was kicked by horse; one eye
was put out and his jaw broken, and
though he got we'll his jaw was
turned 10 the right and his snouf
mashed fiat IL would set one laugh.
ing just TO look at him He had only
fairly recovered from this adventure
when he got caught in rail fence
and twisted his spine until he was
bent almost double.
When he got out of bed again he
was the oldest locking pig in -four
states. When he walked lie had to
60 broadslde ON, and he never knew
which pair of legs was in front on
which behind. One day a tin ped
dler happened to come along and no
ticed the animal and quietly asked
the old man" how much he'd take
for that pig.
Wall. replied father. winking as
Tom and |, hogs is up, you know
Yes. ] know that pork has ad.
vanced
Guess that pig ought to bring
three dollar"
"I'll give you two.
He's worth dollar more, bu,
bein it's you I'll take it, " said father
For the next two weeks we crack
ed a good many jokes at that tir
peldlers expense, as father woult
have given the pig to anybody fol
the asking. About a month aftel
the sale Fourth of July came around
and we all went to town-six of US
Among the attractions was side
show, and its chief sign was paint
ing of curious sort of animal, and
underneath the information
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

There are about 55 900 tons of SCOT re-
covered from the chimneys of LondoI.
every year, which yield an animal
revenue of nearly S225, 900.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

In Persia the umbrella was Of ancient
royal distinction. In Hindoatan the
title of '.chattrapati" signifies ''lord of
the umbrella, or shade of state
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10

There was snow In many parts OF
Iowa and III iois on May II. 1878. and
again aa late Us May %, 1892.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-12-10
IHe CIRCUS.

what the HIlI Boards Disriay--The TrutA
About Is.
The man who designs the works OF art
that decorate the hill boanis throughout the
United States at this season OF the year
should have heen consulted before the first
menagerie was made 10 order for Adam and
Eve and turned loose In the garden Of Eden.