Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1892-10-06

800. ~ 5li - 81 ATE- = III
weller been. = He had all he bal
in his pocket"
The Groom and the Goldfish Ball!
Another one of the peculiarities
Of this campaign is that the thirc
party leaders advise their people
not to read democratic literature
or to hear democratic speakers
the classical and picturesque 'ad'
wise of Mr. Watson to his followers
being to "kcep in the middle Of
the road aud wait until I Gomez
Our mountain genius fndsin this
heretofore unheard of proposition
a rich field for his wit and satire
He says there is somthing
wrong with Che party whose
adherents fear to hear the other
side, that it is the man with the
paste diamond who is afraid OF
the light, that something is rotton
in Denmark, when one white man
is afraid to hear another talk.
It reminds him of fellow up
IN the mountains who got married
in the olden days and went by
stage on a bridal trip to Charleston.
At the hotel the waiter brought q
dish of Goldfish balls, and he had
never seen any. He supposed
them to be fritters. He stick hi /
fork in one of them and took a bite
of it. He liked the taste of it but
little and the smell less. After
several frantic and unsuccessful
attempts to masticate and
sequester it his stomach became
critically rebellious. He took it
out of his mouth, slipped it under
the edge of his plate and turning
to his wife, said; "sallie, the
landlord looks like a clever man
and I wouldn't hurt his feelings,
SO we won't say anything about it.
but I'll be id if there amt
something dead in that bread"
When the Cyclone Struck Him.
Illustrating the idea that when
the election is over in the tenth
Watson will wonder where he was
when the cyclone struck him, Ham
says he is reminded of he pat.
rot whose owner wanted to break
him of cursing. He was told the
first time the parrot cursed to
throw a bucket Of water on him and
whirl the cage round and round.
The next morning as he went out
the parrot exclaimed, "It's q did
hot .dayln, .,...s.......-.---.
Immediately the man slung 9
bucket of water through the cage.
whirled it round and round until
the parrot was almost killed. The
parrot gathered himself together
shook the water out of feathers
looked up at his owner, and
shrieked, "Where in the h-wer9
you When the cyclone srtuck u.s.
Hams Prize Mule.
Commenting on the idea thai
the third party stand, no chances
Ham points out that the best mer
who started out with it have re-
turned to the democracy. Tt re,
minds him of q man with a mule
He was a long, lean, lank Georgian
with jeanspants, red shoes and one
gallus. fastened with nail at one
end and q button at the other. He
was galloping his mule up and
down in font Of q country doggery
The mule was a forlorn looking
specimen, one ear set forward ane
the other backward. His hip bones
stood outlike pegs on hat rack
and his ribs showed through hi
hide like a hoopskirt through {
calico frock on a windy
day. He was sore backed
and wind CALLED and sad
die rubbed and harness marked al
over. The fellow would gallop W
and stop and as a sort of genera
challenge ia the crowd would
swear he had the best mule il
Georgia.
Yes," said one of the hangers
on lounging over the balustrade
with three or four drinks of corn
liquor under his hickory shirt, chez
a durn good mule"
"How do you know" said th'
rider sharply.
Because I see the buzzards hao
him and hesgot away"
Petit Mrs. Lease.
Afterjumping on the woman's
suffrage plank he asks the boys