St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-12-12
The Big Maine Congress man
Working Hard to Reduce
His Flesh.
Bouquets for the Congress
men at the Opening Of the
Short Session.
Elliot F. Shepherd Said to
Have Made a Funny Mis-
take by Telegraph.
A Rather Mouldy Chestnut
Rung Into a Story About
Uncle Burrows.

Special to the Globe. -
WASHINGTON, Dec. 1.-THE truly
great and good men who have their
fingers in the national pie having as
sembled, Washington has awakened.
The national capital when congress Is
not in session is like the day after the
circus. People wear their old clothes;
hackmen nod, guides lose the callous
spots on their lungs and boarding
house keepers forget to be wary.
Even brides desert the town between
seasons. and, as in these parts marriage
is not deemed legal unless followed by
a trip to Washington, it is to be Inferred
that marriages do not take place save
when congress is in session. But that
truly inspiring body is now sitting, and
the flowers that decorated the capitol
last Monday are faded and forgotten.
except some few that are still blooming
in the apartments of the female lobby
list. Nothing ever dies if the petticoated
lobbyist gets hold of it. 1t may yearn
for death, but she never gives it a
chance.
The Fema,e lobbyist,
by the way, is unusually numerous and
active this year. She is especially
charming Just now. too, for the
Yarnish has not yet been rubbed
off her smile, nor the bloom
Of youth off her damask cheek. But as
TO the flowers: representative Castle
was the only Northwestern congress-
a horticultural demonstration. He
came into the house looking very spruce,
in gray clothes and red boutonnlere.
but before he began OH the smiling and
handshakng and back pattlng, and all
the other affectionate demonstrations
which make the opening day OF coli
gress look like the first day of a BAPTIST
conference, he stopped to lnhale the
fragrance of q nOSegay OF vIoletS
what Law on his desk. Other
men had larger bouquets. or
baskets of gaudy roses, but no man In
The house was better pleased than MIR.
Castle with his violets.
Most of the members of congress
appear to have endured the wear and
tear of the late political unpleasantness
remarkably well. Some OF the dear de-
parted wear d somewhat woe-begone
well. Probably the most changed man
in the house is Thomas B. Reed. Time
was when the sash that encrcled Mr.
Reeds waist had to have all its tuckS
let out to their fullest capacity; but
now the sash. if it were seen, would be
close-reefed. Tom Reed is getting thin,
or perhaps he has gotten thin. At any
rate, he is thin-for him. His cheeks
droOp with an infantile look OF
PrecOcEOus Pensiycness.
and he appears interpretive. 1t may
be a cankering sorrow, it may be over
work, it may be the summers heat; but
q woman from New York who knows
great deal more than she can keep to
herself says it's banting, and that MI.
Reed has determined to recover the
waist he lost so many years ago. lie is
going in for all sorts of discouraglng
things to eat. they say. The woman
from New York swears it's true, and
perhaps 1t is. At any rate, Mr.. Reed is
nOticeaDy thinner than he was last Ses-
sion.
The woman from New York has a
great many interesting things to tell.
Mrs. Bernard Beere, she says, is the
only woman on earth with a waist
larger than even questionable Mother
Nature ment it to be, and Mrs. Bernard
Beere paints the eyebrows above
her black eyes yellow. That is
only one Of the curious things the
woman knows, and if all New York
editors knew as much, one of them
wouldn't have telegraphed to his Wash
ington correspondent the other day to
know how long the present session OF
congress will be. They do say it was Col.
Eliot F. Shepherd; but, of course, that's
only base attack on noble and phil
anthropic man. Still, that's what they
say.
Campaign Stories.
They are repeating the last batch of
campaign stories now. Two pretty girls
in light coats with triple shoulder capeS,
and AlSatian bows on their hats, sat in
the gallery of the house the other day,
and, after they had admired Mr.. Dur
borrow, OF Chicago, and had called
George Fred Williams perfectly lovely,
one OF them said: ''Oh. there's Mr.. Bur-
rows-Uncle Burrows, | call him. He's
my uncle, you know. Didn't you know
it? Oh, dear, yes, he's my uncle, really
and truly. and they do tell the horridest
stories about him. You knows he's
in politics. and when they have a
campaign he has to 20 all around
everywhere, and tell people to vote for
him and not to vote for the other side,
and he makes speeches and is awfully
polite to everybody, you know. OF
course this isn't true, and it's just a
story they've made up, but they say
Uncle Burrows was in town one day
shaking hands with everybody, and he
came to one man he'd seen before.
why, how dye do, my dear fellow he
said, how is Your wife?' The man
looked sad little bit, and then said:
She's dead. Mr. Burrows Uncle
Burrows acted awful soIry. and took it
to heart and told how well he lemem-
bered her, and how nice she
was. and how sorry he was to
hear it. and how strange it was
he hadn't heard it before. And, Name,
would you believe it. the very next week
Uncle Burrows came that way again,
lust rs nice and polite as ever, and he
met the very same man, and when he
was shaking hands. Uncle Burrows
lust think asked him: 'How's your
Wife?' Isn't that mean to tell9"
"And what did the man say?"
"Oh. that hasn't anything to do with
the story, you know. He said, She's
still dead But isn't it mean to tell that
on dear Uncle Burrows"