Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1892-12-08

been printed by the government. Of
the $4,000 bills, the next largest, there
are seven.
Conjugal Dialogue.-She--"You are
very polite to yawn SO in my presence"
He" My dear friend, husband and wife
are one and the same, and when am
alone / am bored. Vie Figayo.
SchoOlma'am-Why was it that his
great discovery was not properly APP
preciated until long after Columbus was
dead Ninteenth Century Schoolboy-
Because he didn't advertise y PUck.
"Say, Job, have just patented a new
invention" "What is itg" "a theatre
chair that will sink to within few in
ches of the floor when q woman who
wears tall hat sits upon it."-B0St2n
Gazette.
Editorial rooms of newspaper which
continues to live by its momentum. A
stranger enters-"Pardon me, gentle
men, | am u subscriber" The edi-
tors-"oh, then you are the NAM
lie Figaro.
II used to find time hanging heavy on
my hands, but | don't now. The DAYS
seem to fly" "rhen you are happy :"
mo, I'm not. Eve u note coming due
and don't know how to meet it.n-Neio
York Press.
"There is no doubt said the pro-
fessor, shat in many cases tobacco ex-
erts soothing influence on the mind"
"Well," said the young wife positively,
"the cigars bought Harry for his birth
day didn't"
Colonel Grey-"Well, Uncle Jasper, l
see you have your turkey You must
have been working right hard lately to
be able to get such fine fellow as that"
Uncle Jasper-"Yas, sab; night wuk,
mostly. "-Puch.
Mistress = bridget, where are the
oyster crackers that ordered ~ Bridget
-"Faith, mum, an l broke livery one NV
thin, an diyil of an oyster could l find
in one, an | stint them straight back. "
Nec York Sun.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. you learned
to trot yet, Miss Mannley2" Miss Mann
ley-"Oh, yes; could trot all right if it
weren't for the horse. The plaguey
thing Keeps jogging up and down SOL
Chicago Ne'os- Record.
Brown-"Got into q bad scrape last
evening. My wife found a letter in my
spo',oI; - g., : "V ,aE 10" sue uia
i Pro,yr vdr,sa nto NJ Woman
a,rLn Il, you 10 soiiy uoS' Drown
NJ y "ol 7. ~, u. siiis Gust, however, was
mail week ago.n-Boston ITGnssriDt
Weary walker-"Fer the love oy rest
Wot's de matter wild yer hair?" Wan
dering Wadkins-"Fright is wot did 1t.
Yer see, l got miyed in wild lot ov
stiihels 9owh AZ ue WORKS ana dey was
oFaGreu " ae Walklh delegate to go TO
MorN' un peing LOOK Ter one oy en-
f fosh y leai iiaFih 10 ulsgrace ue pro-
iesn' ---o""Se'
gu SIT On your morse ike outcher,,
sag peri young oiiicer, VINO happened
10 pe OF royal plooa, 10 veteran gem
eIai VINO was soheWha a oent from age
~ - p nignly Plopaule, responded tne
1lu maidi1r, Win d grim smlle' ~ is
oeIause "a, an my me ve Deeh leading
caves caves e iike you 10 the slaughter. -
iee"S "gs'"9S'
Banker-"lIerr Baron, it has not
escaped my notice that you are in love
with my daughter, and | may as well
heip you over the stile. am prepared
70 give you my consent, and my daugh,,
tsr shall ~ naVe uoWry OIL 3o,oou HORNS,
I'afoh-'l peg thousand pardons, but
! 1 never rove, on principle, under $4,000
loflhs' -'s"'c"rzUas6er B9te.
Appreciation Of Learning. - Aunt
Zerepty las they pass the Campusl-
"What makes them stugents boiler raw
rayrayfizboomar all the time 2" Uncle
IIenry-"Sh, Zerepty; don't be so lrno-
rnt. These here scholars Is all mighty
full O. learnn'. They're jest a repeat
IN some OF their ainchen', old-time
Latlh or hebrew phrases out loud. Sort
ieaIhlh ~. thelr lessons by heart" =
1ft''ces0@ 1@ef'
Against His Principles-Kindly
Housewife-Here, NV poor man. mi get
You nice bit of steak if you'fl wait n
minute" Husky Horton fine tramn-
Very kind, mum, but il will be imn6ssi-
BILE for me to accent your offer. I'm
vegetarian, mum, and il Won hnpnen 10
have little beer or cid rye whisky
both of which are purely vegetable pro-
ducts-I shall be glad to partnka of
your Observation-Disclosures NGns R,rorf
MA oar,,,o,,;o, .., M,
a,iino+;"l s't ~ ,i' TUniitGteu WIN tle
49,, VIZ. ~ - uiN'5n P"Nttloh at
~ " oi,a sioulaS ~ IAlcaSo
c Mill T aIamd y r,,r rMo hisa priests
III, ' az StV =" M, uaNISil, al'ailoeii
hort yo~nio;,s ne, SN " agtu S,Iiu"S ~
I;sa q, tP,"'ns' means 10Y siyG l"hE