The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-03-10
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The Old Hat -MrA White-''Why.
John, where are you going with thst
Old hat on?" Mr. White-''I am going
TO call onsMr. Harde. one Of my cred
ball "-Yankee Blade.
-Revenge.-Tom Ia rejected suitor)
Il congratulate you, Miss Flurt, on
your approaching marriage with Mr.:
Brown" Miss Flurt-''Why do you con-
gratulate me?'' Tom-''Vell. l cant
honestly congratulate him."-Yankee
Blade. r 80
"A Hint "well, John" said his en-
ployer, ''how do you feel after yourNva-
cation?" Like a new man, sir" 'Well
it's good thing, John. I've been think
ing I'd try a new man 1t your work, but
perhaps you'll do
~ like Sunday-school better than
any other school," said Willie. Il am
pleased to hear that, my little man.
said the minister. ''Now will you tell
me why?" 'Yes, sir: 1t comes only
once q week. "-Once Week.
The Boss-'Look here, Tomson.
you've painted the laundry sign 'Laudry.'
What do you mean by such work as
that?' Journeyman-'I dode dow how
it was. udless it's because I've got ad
lawful cold i'd the head"-Harper's
Bazaar.
10, that must be too lovely for any
thing" said Hortensia, when she read
IN account of q stage robbery in tho far
west ''Lovely to be robbed?" asked
Uncle John. Lovely to be held up"
said Hortensia, with q roscate blush. -
Boston Transcript.
Two French ladies lately agreed
upon a trial for thousand francs to
see which could talk the faster The
| contest was to endure for three hours.
Ore pronounced 2O3, $50 words, reading
from Eugene Sue. The other pro-
nounced 200, 81, and won the prize.
| OF the old kentish wooden industry
few relics have come down to us. 1t
originated, with SO many other of the
English industries, with foreigners,
Flemish emigrants commencing it in
the reign of Edward III. in that pictur-
esque corner of the county of which
Gran brook is the center.
Little Mamie, whose parents are
poor. is eating dinner with some rich
relatives, Que of whom says: "Well,
Mamie, how do You like your dinner?
Better than at home?" 1T doesn't
taste much better, but I don't get
through as soon as do at home"
Get through your breakfast quick,
sonny; you will be late to school," said
a mother to her hopeful SOD. I'm not
going to school until get dime" II
won't give you any dime" 'Well, then,
I'll just keep on eating. will see for
once if can't cure you of your obsti-
nancy" replied the hopeful, taking a
fresh batter-cake.
The king of Italy has appointed a
worlds fair commissioner. Italy, it is
believed, will yet formally decide to
participate in the exposition. 1t is al.
ready assured that it's participation,
even if only informal, will be of no
mean description. Exceptionally fine
exhibits in sculpture and painting are
promised
According to Washington CORE
spondent, the stone coping which was
blown by the wind from the roof of the
white house into the area has been car
ried away piece by piece by relic-hunt-
ers; one woman carried away frag-
ment weighing about ten pounds under
her cloak, under the delusion that she
was escaping unnoticed.
"A couple of burglars met a deter
mined woman in Cam bridge, Mass.
They had entered the bedroom Of Miss
Margaret E. Russell, the owner of the
house. Their actions aroused the sleep
ing lady, and she seized big bell
which she always kept on chair ct her
bedside. After ringing it violently,
she banged the burglars with it, max
ing such marks on their faces and heads
that when arrested, some hours later
on the street they were readily identi-
By the treaty of Paris, signed by
the representatives of Great Britain,
France, Austria, Russia, Prussia, Tur.
key and Sardinia, on April 16, 1856, it
was determined that privateering should
be abolished, that neutrals might carry
an enemy's goods not contraband OF
war, that neutral goods not contraband
were free even under an enemy's flag
and that blockades to be binding must
be effective. The president of the United
States acceded to these provisions in 1861
1t is reported that it is the inten.
ton of the government to establish al
the Columbian exposition grounds q
complete post Office. equal in capacity
to that required by a city of 20, 900 OF
more inhabitants, and to operate it, no,
only during the fair but for severa
months previous to the opening and
after the closing. A government pos
Office inspector is now on the grounds
perfecting plans and estimates 1t is be
lieved that the number of exhibitor,
will be between $50, 900 and 175, 00o r.
these mail will lie delivered hourly
Mails, sorted on the mail cars, will +,
dropped at the grounds from incomin,
trains whenever possible. At rough es
innate, this exposition post office will
require about 800 employees and entail
an expense of about $3.50, 900 on the par
of the government.
A BARREN PLATEAU.
An Asiatic 1ableland Over Two Mile
Above the Sea.
It is not often that we are led to th;nl