The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-04-16
THE ARIZONA KICKER.

Westward the Star OF Empire and
| 90 Forth.
Among the many good things in
the last issue OF the Arizona Kicker
! we extract the following, says the
/ Detroit Free Press:
Our Gain.-Mondny afternoon nm
italian with a dancing bear struck
the town, and half an hour later Col
onel Siderial Thompson, assistant
register of deeds, awoke from q
snooze he had been enjoying In an
arm chairin the Mighty West billiard
parlors. When the colonel saw the
bear dance he made up his booty
mind to have waltz with him. His
friends called him of, but he was pig.
headed and obstinate and refused to
stay of. He suddenly jumped in on
the bear with yell and whoop, and
being new to our ways the beast
probably supposed himself attacked.
At any rate no set to work with teeth
and claws, and SO used the colonel
up in about three minutes that he
died that night. The general verdict
of the public is that his loss is our
gain. He had no enterprise as citi-
zen, and as q man some of US would
have to plant him within few weeks
any how.
Settled at Last.-As will be noticed
elswhere in the regular courtproceed-
ings, the legal trouble between the
editor of the Kicker and Prof.
Mccall has at last been settled
and an amicable understanding
arrived at. The professor came here
about two years ago and being In
hard luck borrowed our only Sunday
shirt and fifty cents in cash, and later
on refused to either return the same
or recognize our claim. We posted
him as dead beat and he sued us
for $4,000. We proved him big
amist and he fired two shot ut us in
front of the postoffice. We advised
lynching, and he was laid up for q
month in the attempt to horsewhip
us. The professor instituted no less
than five suits against us, and on
several different occasions planned
our assassination.
Day before yesterday, while the
professor was laying for us with
shotgun at the postoffice, he was
run over in stampede Of mules.
We were the first to reach him and
render aid. He was carried to The
Kicker Office in an unconscious con
dition, and it was half an hour before
he came to. Mutual friends seized up
on the occasion to settle the trouble
and thier efforts were successful. We
now desire to announce in italics
that the professor is an honest,
worthy gentleman, possessed of a
fine voice and well qualified to teach
the divine art OF music. On the other
hand, he subscribes for the Kicker,
paying in advance, of course, and
advertises to the extent of $24 per
year.
Apply to the Coroner.-Just rs our
outside pages were going to press
Judge Knight called at The Kicker
Office and invited us to ride out to
Lone Tree with him in his horse and
buggy, and hall an hour later we
were there. The boys had preceded
us, and we found them in circle
around "Dr. B. B. Belinger, late of
the Royal College of Medicine ofLon-
don-the only discoverer of sure
cure for consumption" The doctor
has been with us about q month,
claiming to cure almost everything on
earth. but after his remedies had
knocked over half dozen citizens
the boys concluded that it was time
tor him to drop out. He refused to
drop. Hence n committee called and
asked him to take a walk. He had
taken the walk and stood ona barrel
when we caught sight of him. There
was O connection between the doc
tors neck and and q stout limb, and
he was making speech.
The doctor recognized us Mt once
and besought us to explain to the
crowd that he was in hurry to leave
the country. He couldn't fly, but he
would do the next best thing. Al
though he had not advertised with
us and he had given oil his job work
to our contemporary, we could not
refuse his request. As personal ia
vor to us boys, after letting him hang
long enough to insure good case OF
sore throat, cut him down, gave him
a nip ofwhisky and advised him to go
Gust. He went. The last we saw of
him he was making suchtimeas no
jackrabbit in this country can ever
hope to equal. Any one having any le-
gal claim on los bottles of cosump-
ton cure, together witha machine for
making pills, two packs of cards and
Office furniture valued ut 80. as, will
please apply to our worthy coroner,
While DR.. Belinger still lives to the
world at large, there Is no doubt that