Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-06-26

cx'sm a psacsful thas Be- vouIdnr BE a.
al surprised ~ git up SUM hne day n
and All Foo with wings n feathers On
his legs like Branl2h heu- Nary q man
packed gun, n whsn gent nd forgit
IA drop czs word bed beg pArdins.
The parson wss rhick with al the boys.
Hs writ lstrers Cor u. sdvissd rs about
all cur bixuas. = knew al about every
body's affairs. Lots nv en- gave him
their dust sack To keep fer EN-, n he
knowed where every man he'd his
cached.
Along Jest afors Chris'mss cum Pete
called meecin Nv the deacons u church
wzrdens down b his place, a after the
sexton All Foo he'd brought Ia z round
of drinks he said: GENTS. e chairman
exoftcer ia this yer lAyout ! raoye that
We give The parson Little present fer
Chris'm Yer know he won't take q
darn cent from Us. n never has. Uv
course he has taken q few thousand
from time 10 time 70 sand 70 orfngs n
things Nv that kind. but not red for
hisself or pard, n move that we make
HIM little present on CHRISTMAS day,
IA 1t needu't DO go - little either.
Gents in favor II say so n gents wot
amt kin keep num- Carried, II that
settles il. Five Ace n nell take in con-
trib1tions. N we won't take any less
than fifty cases
THAT wuz two days sfore Chns mus
day, n when it cum Pete n Five Ace
he'd about i've thousand IN dust n mug
gets fer the parsons present. Pete as
sessed All Foo a months pay, n no
kicked hard accordin, but 'twer'nt no
use.
The day was bright n clear, n at
1even o'clock every man in camp wuz at
church. The little builiin looked mighty
tasty-all fixed OF with pine tassels n
red berries we'd got in the woods, n
every man wuz dressed out III his
best duds. At 1even exact tho par
son n the kid. who he'd bin standin at
the door shakin hands n wishin every
body what cum In Merry Christmas.
cum in n took their seats on the plat
form. Pete IA Five Ace n Bill Jones n
Alabam n me sot on q bench jest In
front o. the platform. We wuz all
logged ont in our best fxin's, n Pete n
Five Ace they sported diamons till yer
couldn't rest. WAL, ez usual. the per-
ceedin's opened up with er prayer from
the parson. n then we he'd singin, n it
seemed ter me ez il / never he'd heerd
sich singin in my life afore ez tibet kid
let out o. him tibet day.
Then the psrson he started in ter
jaw, n must elbow he Civ US q great
discourse. never see him so long
winded afore. tho, n Pete was begin
min to get mighty restless n Uneasy,
when all NV Q suddint we heerd tho
door open n shet quick n sharp, n
every one turned around to find great
big black bearded cuss at the door q
GOVERN the hull gang nv rs with .
double bar1ed shotgun. n jest . stand
In thar cool n silent. Face around
here, yer -- FOOLS yelled some
body in . sharp. quick, biznus meanin
vice, n oil hands faced srouri to find
the parson holding 'em up vic another
shotgun-own brother TO the ono the
other cuss he'd.
81 don't want Q word out er YER he
ed. Yer see my game now, don't yeri
Thar amt gun IN the house 'cept tho
ones you see. n il any gent makes any
row in this yer meetin Ill fill his hide 30
plum full o. holes 7 won't hold his bones.
The kid will now take up the collection,
n ez it's the first one we ever hev taken
mp yer must make it . iber1 one, seer
The kid started out with gunnysack,
n went through the very last man in
the crowd. He took everything, even
to the rings on our fingers. The parson
he'd the drop. n we knew it n never
kicked. but jest Civ mp our stuff like
lambs.
AFTER the hid he'd finished, he took
the sack outside, n that's the last we
ever seed o. him. Then the parson he
SEE: N now. gents, must say adoo, ez
/ must be travelin, for ! hev another
meetin to attend this eve. Iwant to
say tho afore so tibet you're the orner-
lest gang Of - fools l ever played
for suckers. A few friends of mine hev
taken the liberty. while yer've been to
meetin this blessed Christmas day, NV
goin through yer cabins n diggin up yer
little caches nv dust n other val'ables.
Yer stock hez all been stampeded, n ven
guns yer1l find somcwhar at the bottom
of the crick. My friend at the door will
hold yer level while walk out, n we
will then keep yer quiet fer few min.
utes longer through Their winder Jest &c
s we can git nice cumftable start n
20 they did. What c'u'd we do? The
parson walked ont, grinning all over
himself. a he n his pals they nailed NJ
the door n tho winders thar wux only
two). n very soon after they he'd finished
we heerd the chatter o. huffs n knowed
they wuz gone.
II must draw veil over the rest OF
that days procecdin's, stranger. The
langwidge need by Their boys wuz toe
awful TO repeat, bat twas jest ez this
parson sed. when we got out o. tibet
meetin house we found every animal @
the location gone, n the only arms left
wuz knives n clubs, yet we'd hev gone
after EN- With noshin but our hands,
but we couldn't follow afoot. How
much did they GET ! don't rightly
know. but not fur from fifty thousand.
The hall camp wux some broke. all excep
Ah Foo, n he VIVA tho only one nv us -
he'd sense enud not 10 tell tibet durnel
parson whsr he cached his stuff. Pete
n Five Ace wux 30 everlast hurt at The
hull bizaus that they shut up the Bird
o. Prey. borrowed All Foo's ssck n left
for the bay 10 try n find thet rarson.
but they never did hnd him. n nc
enc ever heard nv him again. Cali
lornian.