The Portland daily press., 1892-03-19

A Portland Physician and a Bath Theo-
Iogian on Uncertainties of Life-An Old
Wing Editors Revenge-Thrilling Des-
cription of Battle of Bunker Hill by a
PupiI-JuveniIe Revisions of the Scrip
lures.
One of the brightest physicians of Port
land, and one of the ablest theologians of
Bath, were in the physiological room at
Bowdoin Medical School not long ago,
examining, in company with others,
microscopic slides, showing certain peeu-
liar glands of the intestines. The physi-
clan at once launched out into brilliant
discussion of the glands, and their rela-
ton to various diseases. The theologian
grew tired after time and finally said:
''You doctors know so much about the
uncertainties of this world that [ should
think you would not want to i've"
'sYou theologians'' came the quick
reply ''tell us so much about the certain
ties of the next that we don't want to
die"
The charge made against the PRESS by
the Argus in the late municipal campaign,
that the PRESS at some time had spoken
of our Irish fellow citizens as Irish
CATTLE" illustrates the long life that some
expressions have The Argus did not
bring any proof to show that the PRESS
had ever used the expression, and could
not have done SO for it was not the PRESS
that coined the phrase. The editor of
the Argus really had in mind an express
ion used in the Portland Morning Adver-
tiser about fifty years ago. The Adver-
tiser was Wing paper, edited by Henry
Carter. In one close city election-so an
old resident of Portland informs us-the
Wings seemed to have carried the day.
But at the last moment the Democrats
secured the wharves and brought to the
polls enough men found there to elect
the Democratic mayor. Some of the men
thus brought up were Irishmen. The
editor of the morning Advertiser was
very much provoked by the maneuvre of
the Democrats, and in speaking of the
affair the next morning referred to the
men brought from the wharves as 'sIrish
cattle.''
The long distance telephone has been
perfected with surprising rapidity. 1t is
as easy to talk between Portland and
Boston as between Portland and Deering.
1t is quite common for Portlanders to
make appointments to meet Boston
friends at the long-distance telephone,
and by the aid of that instrument hold
| long conversations. There is business
man in Boston who is agent for large
western flour mill; and as such does
much business in New York. He was
talking with New York customer the
other day over the telephone, distance
of three hundred miles or more. They
were arranging the price of some flour,
when the New York dealer turned to
consult with the partner. "Offer him
twenty-five cents less barrel, and see if
he will take it," said the New York
man S partner in a low tone. But so per-
feet was the long-distance telephone,
that our friend in Boston heard it dis
tinctly, and was stiff with his price when
the New Yorker made the proposition.
1t is quite common thing for Boston
men to carry on conversation with men
five hundred miles away in cities of New
York or Pennsylvania.
A pupil in school not many miles
from Portland recently gave on an exami-
nation paper very vivid account of the
battle of Bunker Hill. The school
history represents the British as march
ing up the hill in platoons, receiving the
American fire, and then breaking their
platoon formation and fleeing down the
hill. The pupil was asked to write out
from memory the historical account.
"The British marched up the hill, :"
wrote the pupil, ''and advanced against
the American breastworks. But when
they received the American fire at close
range, they dropped their pantaloons and
fled down the hill"
The scriptures often get a revised YER
sion from diminutive Sunday scholars
that is very amusing. Not long ago the
mother of bright little member of the
infant class in one of the Portland Sun
day schools chose the verse "Fear not
little fock'' for the Sunday school les
son. After laboring long and hard to fix
| it in the little ones memory she sent her
young Bible student with great assur-
ance to recite it to papa, who took her on
his knee and says: ''Well! What is it
my dear?' In a flash it all went out of
the child's mind and she could say
nothing. After thinking profoundly a
few moments she frightened up and ex-
claimed: N'1ve dot it papa. No be faid
little Sheep
This is the season when many of the
Catholic children in the city are being