davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1892-12-01
THE BALD EAGLE.

Some twenty years ago perpetrated a joke which, after so long lapse of time, it may do to relate. There was to be Fourth of July celebration, not thous- and miles from East Windsor Hill, and learned D. D., who had travelled exten- sively in foreign lands, was to deliver the oration, and he was desirous that there should be near him the American eagle (bald eagle), which in good faith agreed to furnish. The room was handsomely festooned with evergreens, and large wreath was placed near the speakers stand which was to contain the bird. On examination it was found that it was not large enough or strong enough to hold the eagle. What was to be done? It was nearly time for the exercises to commence, and it was impossible to furnish an eagle as was designed, and too late to make any change. had very large red-tailed hawk which would completely fill the wreath, and in consultation with the chief manager, it was thought best, under ex- isting circumstances, to put it in without revealing the fact to any one.
 The orator imbibing largely of the spirit of '76, waxed warm in his eloquence, and often referred to our national emblem, the great American eagle before him each time paying due obeisance to it. I could hardly restrain my mirth when my old red-tailed hawk was immortalized, oratorically, y-"waving in the breeze of every cline, respected and venerated by every civilized nation on the face of the globe"
 And to put on the finishing touch, the speaker returned thanks to the doctor for adding so much interest to the eel ebration by furnishing so beautiful spec imen of the representative of our country"
 There was a large gathering, and in the crowd were college graduates and pro- fessors, and not one of them knew but what that bird was the veritable bald eagle, and do not to the present time know to the contrary.-Dr. WiIham Wood, in
 WGCle's FS6re and FG6rSc.
The Press., 1892-12-01

STRONG ssEs.-Amongt the thous- ands of testimonials of cures by. Dr.
 Miles New Heart Cure, is that of Nathan .Allisons, well-known citizen of Glen Rock, Pa., who for years had shortness of breath, sleeplessness, pain in left side, shoulders, smothering spells, etc. :; one bottle of Dr. Miles New Heart Cure and za4 box of Nerve and Liver Pills, cured him. Peter Jaquet, Salem, N. J., is an- other witness, who for twenty years suf- fered with Heart Disease, was pronounced incurable by physicians; death stared him in the face, could not lie down for fear of smothering to death. Immediately after using the New Cure he felt better and could lie down and sleep all night, and is now we'll man. The New Cure is sold,
 also Free Book, by w. D. Heald. 3
The Press., 1892-12-01

: T Ellen Foster is said to be greatly dtsap- pointed at the outcome of the election. They say she expected to get the Goddess of Liberty's place If Harrison was elected.-N. E. Home.
 That is low blaekguardism, and we know of only one paper in this state that would descend to such an ungentlemanly, seurrllous attack upon 8 woman who has ably and bravely fought the rum devil since she was child-and with thous- and times more success than has the edit or the Home since he began his dictatorial and distracting work. - DGnielsonUille Tr0nscsSDt.
The Press., 1892-12-01

The census office has issued bulletin giving statistics of railway mileage of the world in 1890. It shows that out of a total railway mileage for the world of 37O, 281 miles, the United States has no less than 163, ,567 miles, or A. IS per cent
 of the whole; and that the railway mile- age of the United States exceeds by 3,493 miles the entire mileage of the old world, Europe's 136,865 miles, Asia's IS, ,799 miles and Africa's 3,992 miles, making an aggregate of but 159,655 miles. It is in- teresting to note the astonishing growth of the railway mileage of the United States from the census year of 1880, when there were less than forty miles of railways.
 In 1840 the figures were 2, 755 miles; in 1850 they had risen to 8,571 miles; in 1860 the total had swelled to 2S, 919 miles; the census of 1870 showed the mileage to be AZ, ,169 miles; that of 1880 placed the fig ures at 87,7A miles while the eleventh census figures give the astonishing total of 163, ,597 miles.
The Press., 1892-12-01
STILL AT IT.

cpd like to have you tell me, if you can," observed the exchange editor, glanc- ing rather slightingly over his shoulder, 'what is the difference between 8 fifty dollar diamond and a custard pie?"
 ''I don't see anything hard about that" answered the financial editor, with scorn. "One is simon pure, and the other is pie man, sure."
 "No," rejoined the other. "That won't do. That's simply horrible"
 "Then it's because one is charcoal made over, and the other is made over char coal"
 "That's worse yet.
 "You needn't get crusty about ftp
 "Why not?" exclaimed the exchange man, bristling up.
 Because" retorted the man of finance, coming up gamely, .custard pie isn't"
 "It is though-at bottom"
 II call that pretty low down"
 "You talk like half baked"
 "Stop! You. stick to your paste-ry."
 "That's what am doing. What is the difference between fifty dollar diamond and a -custard pie ?''
 "One is within the range of capitalist and the other has been taken entirely out of the range"
 "Shucks!"
 Anything about their being cussed. hard if they're not good"
 "Naw."
 "One is sometimes in soak, and-and the other is always soaked when you get down to hard pan."
 "That isn't so bad," said the exchange editor, effectively, '"but it doesn't go You haven't got it yet"
 'Well, what is the difference?" de manded the financial editor, wheeling his chair around and glaring at him.
 "The difference" said the man of ex changes in cold, hard tone of voice, "is $49.75." ~-.. -...
 And" they don't speak Chicagt Iri6atae.
The Press., 1892-12-01
Number 35.
, Rockville Journal.) HOW FRANK EVENED UP AN # OLD SCORE.

One day last summer, when the ther- mometer stood at 95o in the shade, Judge Tingier, certain newspaper man and one of the town officials put up a job on w. Frank Fay. They got out their over coats, put the thermometer in the office of the aforementioned official into the ice-water tank, and made ready to receive Frank whom they knew would be along soon after o'clock. When they saw him come around the corner they hauled out the thermometer, hung 1t in its place, slipped on their coats, turned up their collars and were huddled in corner shiv- ering when he came in. Frank was struck with amazement but he managed to say-"Good God! what's the matter with you fellows? Are you crazy?"
 The judge, who acted as spokesman, replied -"Crazy! Why mol"
 "Well, what in blazes are you doing with your overcoats on and shivering for on hot day like this ?" said Frank.
 "Hot? Why it must be below 50.'
 'Well, I'll bet $10 its 900 in the shade" :"
 "I'll take you," promptly spoke up the judge.
 "Well," said Frank, smake it the ci- gars for the crowd and I'll stand you"
 The amended bet was accepted, and the office thermometer was examined and found to register 400. "By George" Frank remarked, with 8 shiver, as the boys started out for the cigars, "I didn't know it was so cold"
 It didn't take him long to tumble, and he resolved to bear the judge in mind and bide his time. His opportunity came last Thursday. The judge was sitting in his office with Frank and several others, when he chanced to remark that he must secure 8 boy to touch off the fireworks at his place during the parade that night.
 A few minutes afterwards Fay looked at his watch and slipped out quietly and unconcernedly. No sooner was he outside than he made a bee-line for Park street, where he knew about two hundred school boys were to be found just then on their way from school. He gathered them in knots of dozen and told them MT. Tin gier wanted boy to touch off some fire works that night. In less than five min- utes a string of boys reaching from mem orial building clear around to Preston's store were bent on getting that job. It is said the judge was late to dinner on that day, and that he has Fay on the list.
The Press., 1892-12-01

have been sufferer from catarrh for 20 years. found immediate relief in the use of Ely's Cream Balm. Since using it l have not suffered moment from head ache, sore throat, or loss of sleep, from which 1 previously suffered, caused by catarrh. consider your Balm a valuable remedy.-R. c. Vassar, 56 Warren St., New York. Es,
 Ely's Cream Balm is worth it's weight in gold as a cure for catarrh. One bottle cured me.-S. A. Lowell, Franklin, Pa.
The Press., 1892-12-01

When Bigley moved into an apartment house, Fogg remarked to Mrs. B. :: "Quite appropriate. Sweet to the suites, you know" Noodle, who was present, thought it a pretty compliment. So he tried it on Bigley next day. q hear yo u have moved into family hotel," he be- gan. Quite appropriate! Flat to the flats, you know" And Noodle wonders why Bigley should get mad over remark that had made Mrs. B. smile so sweetly
The Press., 1892-12-01

A BIsHoP's ExoUsE.-This is story they tell of Bishop Phillip Brooks, of Boston; and Eugene Field is one of those who is circulating it. Being absorbed with work he instructed his servant not to admit visitors but while these orders were being enforced, the Bishop happen ed to show himself at the front door, where he recognized an old classmate.
 The visitor was taken in cordially, much to the chagrin of the servant, who afterwards reconstructed with his master at being treated so. "Why," said the servant, '.you told me that you would be so busy that you wouldn't see the Angel Gabriel if he called" "Ycs," answered the Bishop, ''I did say that, and I meant it. But there's all the difference in the world between Gabriel and my friend. I'm bound to see Gabriel anyway. in the next world, but as there is some doubt about my seeing this man there it was only right that I should see him here, when he took the trouble to call upon me- "
 Beecham's Pills are faithful friends.
The Press., 1892-12-01
ABSOLUTELY PURE

II heard queer story about that moufl tain over yonder from our coachman to day"
 What was that ?"
 GA young lady and gentleman went osi' for walk on that hill; they went tf higher and higher-and never came b6Hl again."
 Dear me! what became of the unhap py pairi"
The Press., 1892-12-01

At the last annual meeting of the school
 board in Windsor Locks, said board being composed of three democrats and three
 republicans, the three democrats voted
 for Rev. J. OR. Sheriden and the three republicans voted for Ezra B. Bailey.
 The chairman, T. F. Mccarthy, who had
 already voted as member of the board, claimed the right to cast ballot as chair man, which he did, and declared Father Sheriden elected acting school visitor. They took another vote, Chairman Me- Carthy following the same course as be- fore, the democrats voting for Dr. Coyle and the republicans voting for Bailey. The presiding officer cast his vote ill favor of Bailey, and declared him elected sec ond acting school visitor. Father Sheri- den, has never visited the schools, and the office of school visitor, and States Attorney Arthur F. Eggleston, at the suggestion of E. B. Bailey, brought an action of quo warranto to test the validity of the chairman's double ballot by which he declared both Father Sheriden and MT. Bailey acting school visitors. On advice of his counsel, John P. Healey, Father Sheriden entered plea denying that he has ever used, exercised or claim ed the office of acting school visitor, and disclaims any legal warrant to use or ex- ercise said office of acting school visitors. By agreement of counsel, the disclaimer will stand judgment, which will be given on said disclaimer without costs to either party -..,,
The Press., 1892-12-01

GUARANTEED CURR.-We authorize oar advertised druggist to sell Dr. King,s New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and Colds, upon this condition. If you are afflicted with Cough, Cold or any Lung, Throat or Chest trouble, and will use thls remedy as directed, giving itsa fair trial, and experience no benefit, you return the bottle and have your money refuned. We could not make this offer did we not know that Dr. Kings New Discovery could be relied on. Itnever disappoints. Trial bot ties free at B. K. Taft's Drug Store. Large size soc. and $1. 2
 Whats the reason you didu't speakt to Jones when he passed by ?" "He insult ed me the other day" "What did he say to you ?" "He called me anold ass "Called you an old ass! How ridicu- lous! Why, you are not old!"
The Press., 1892-12-01

Miles Nerve and Liver Pills act on a new principle regulating the liver, stom- ach and bowels through the nerUes. A new discovery. Dr. Miles Pills speedily cure biliousness, bad taste, torpid liver, piles, constipation. Unequaled for men, women, children. Smallest, mildest, surest! 50 doses, % cts. Samples free at w. D Heald's drug store.
The Press., 1892-12-01
worthington's Illustrated Magazine is

Worthington's Illustrated Magazine is announced to appear with the new year. Believing there is ''room at the top," the publishers enter the field, determined to make high class, wide awake journal. Every number will contain illustrated ar ticles of general interest and permanent value, written by. well-known authors, and Twill be fully and appropriately illus trated in the best and most attractive style of modern art Its fiction will be wholesome, cheerful and elevated in tone it's poems refined, and pervaded by no false sentimentality; and the younger members of the family, even the very youngest, will find something bright and inviting in it's pages set apart especially for them. In every detail its definite purpose, cheerful helpfulness with teach ings wise and stimulating, shall be clear ly apparent. Mary A. Livermore, Helen Campbell, and host of other well known people are announced as contribu- tors, and neither time, thought nor ex- pense will be spared to make it an essen tially home magazine. The annual sub- scription price is $2 50, six months $1.25
 single copies 25 cts. Published by A. D. Worthington & Co.,, Hartford, Conn.
The Press., 1892-12-01

Cured cough left after lung fever, with two bottles. Mrs. Lizzie Burns, Barclay, Sangamon Co.,, Ill.,, writes as follows "I think Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup is truly an excellent remedy for coughs left from lung fever, as two bottles entirely cured my daughter.o
The Press., 1892-12-01

The following is condensed from boys essay on total abstinence: II abstain from alcoholic drinks because if would excel as cricketer, Grace says, abstain ; as walker, Weston says, abstain ; as an oarsman, Hanlon says, abstain; as q swimmer, Webb says, 'abstain;' as an orator, Bright says, .abstain;' as mis- sionary, Livingstone says, 'abstain;' as a doctor, Richardson says, 'abstain;' ; as a preacher, Farrar says, abstain Asy- lums, prisons and work houses repeat the cry, abstain 7"
 A GREAT BENEFAoToR. .- Educators are certainly the greatest benefactors of the race, and after reading Dr. Franklin Miles popular works, we cannot help de-. claring him to be among the most enter taining and educating of authors. "-New York Daily. He is not a stranger to our readers, as his advertisements appear in our columns in every issue, calling atten- tion to the fact that his elegant work on Nervous and Heart Diseases is distributed free by our enterprising druggist, w. D. Heald. Trial Bottles of Dr. Miles Ner- vine are given away, also Book of Testi- monials showing that it is unequalled for Nervous Prostration, Headache, Poor Memory, Dizziness. Sleeplessness, Neu- ralgia, Hysteria, Fits, Epilepsy 2
The Press., 1892-12-01

BUoKLEN's ARNIcA SALyE.-Thes best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and positively cures piles, or no pay required. Guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction or money Refnpded. Price 2jc per box. Sold by E. K. Taft
 RULES for the care, of the sick. How to cure disease, it's symptoms and causes, and other information of great value VIII be found in old Dr. Kaufmann's great book; 100 pages, fine colored plates. Send three 2-cent stamps to pay postage to A. P. Ordway & Co.,, Boston, Mass. and receive copy free. a
The Press., 1892-12-01

Maid servant-Pro Professor, oh, professor just think, I have swallowed pin! Ab- sent-minded professor Never, mind here is another one.
The Press., 1892-12-01
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

CURTIS & JOHNSON, Arclli- O tects. Plans and Specifications for Residenc- es, Blocks, Factories Public Buildings, etc. Esti- mates furnished 284 Asylum St., Room 4, Hart ford, Conn. T. A. Curtis, Wm. D. Johnson.
The advocate and Topeka tribune., 1892-08-10

who seconded the nomination Of Mr.. Harris
at the Wichita convention. enlisted in 1851,
in Company A, Thirty eighth Ohio Volunteer
Infantry. Was discharged az Atlanta, Ga.
We we're in the Third Brigade, Third Di-
vision, Fourteenth Army Corps, ''Pap"
Thomas old division. / was in twenty
seven different battles and skirmishes. Was
never excused from duty during the time.
/ afterwards enlisted in Company J, Eighth
United States Veteran Volunteer Infantry
HanOock's corps, and served one year. Am
member in good standing in o. I. q.
Mitchell Post No. 50, Department Of Kan
sas, at Osborne City, Kan. Have no apollo
gies to make for my action in that con-
ventiOn.
D. Parkinson, Of Washington, Kan,
says:
was a delegate who helped TO nominate
W. A. Harris. My military record is as
follows: entered the service as private in
the Sixteenth United States Infantry, SEQ
Ond Battalion, at Chicago, April 20, 1862.
Was in action at Buzzards RoOst, Resacca,
New Hope Church, Kennesaw Mountain,
Marietta (July Al, Peach Tree Creek, At
lanta, JonesborO and Nashville. Was dis
charged April 20, 1866, and found on re-
turning home that l had been appointed
second lieutenant prior TO discharge. Re-
turned, was sent to Memphis in July, 1856,
and built the National cemetery at that point.
Was sent to Atlanta, Ga, for the reorgani-
cation Of the regiments with the Third Bat
tallion, and there resigned as captain about
July, 1869. / heartily seconded the nomina-
ton Of Col. Harris. II was the most pleasant
sight my eyes had beheld for many years.
This Is the kind OF men that are
stamped as deserters for having the de-
cision Of character TO rid themselves Of
blind prejudice, and the manhood to
stand bravely for the rights Of downtrod-
den humanity against the Imperialism Of
capital. Mr.. Editor, II your will kindly
give us space, we will be truly glad 70
send in the records Of these old boys In
blue as fast as they come in. Yours for
success, FIT. BAKER.
Cuba, Kan, July 81, 1902.
The advocate and Topeka tribune., 1892-08-10
IS THE HOUR AT HAND2
10 the Editor Of THE ADVOCATE.

| 10 the EdltOr or The ADVOCATE.
All thoughtful men Of to-day who are
watching the movement Of forces In the
pending conflict between labor and
money cannot fail to see the advance
ment OF opposing armies. Indeed, the
clash Of arms has already resounded
from hill and dale In every quarter of
the globe. The Plttsburg riot, the great.
southwest strike, the difficulties and
horrors In Wyoming and Homestead are
but the skirmishes of greater strife.
They are only Sklrmishes, for instead Of
settling their differences each side has
become more arrogant and determined
and is at this hour actually reinforcing.
This being true, IL is singular that we
should ask ourselves the question, ais
the hour at handH" Who is prepared to
say that Homestead, like Lexington and
Fort Sumter, 10 not destined to 90 down
In history as the birthplace Of one Of
Americas three great struggles for free
dom and liberty. In each instance the
oppressor was the aggressor. AT Lex
ington, King Georges troops opened FIRE
upon citizens whose only ofFense was q
peacesble opposition to the demand Of
the king for taxes without representa-
tion, and it was not until the news began
to spread among the colonIsts that they
had been fired upon by the British red
coats" and the blood Of neighbor and
brother spilled upon the field OF carnage,
that they realized the importance or felt
the necessity Of abandoning their fields,
their shops and their families TO take up
arms in defense Of their homes and their
liberties.
II one had told the colonlstS twenty
four hours before the tragedy at Lexlng-
ton that the kings armed forces were
not there for fun, but fer the purpose Of
Continued on page IO)
The advocate and Topeka tribune., 1892-08-10
Observation-Disclosures RIGHTS.

To the Editor Of THE ADVOCATE.
Less than fifty years ago in every VII
lage In the land there existed the several
mechanical shops that were necessary TO
supply the needs Of the neighborhood.
The blacksmith made his own shoes and
nails, the wsgonmaker his own spokes,
hubs and felloes, the cooper his hoops and
slaves, and so on through various me-
chanlcal callings. There was work for
all at remunerative prices. There were
no strikes, boycots, scabs nor tramps.
Labor was satisfied and industrious. Its
condition exemplifed the truism, "The
The advocate and Topeka tribune., 1892-08-10

Der Of that body. 1 am glad TO know
that he Is still radical on the issues ad-
vocates by the people against the pluto
Gratis, both north and south.
The issue is plain and well defined. 1t
Is squarely between the labOring and
capitallstic classes, and party under the
name Of Democratic or Republican means
one and the same thing. The fight south
Is to be made against the laboring classes
under the prstext of fear Of force bill
In case the Republicans win the election;
they are afraid of the colored vote being
cast untrammeled. There would be NO
fear IL the upper crust could dictate and
be assured of the colored people voting
to suit their ex- masters. There Is an un-
colOred voting population north that is
held In the same estimation. When they
show any disposition to use their own
judgment In voting, they are denounced
and vilifed with as much vigor as the
other people Of the same class south. /
notice the southern correspondents OF
the reform press express themselves in
robust language when treating the issues
of the day. The southern are impulsive
people, and when enough Of them come
to see things In the proper light, will not
be content to wait two or three genera
tions to right the wrongs that have been
perpetrated against the whole people.
1t has only taken something less than
one generation to perfect the unjust sys-
tenn OF government of which we COM
plain, and should take a great deal less
time to change 1t if people could only be
made to see their own interest. 1t seems
80 plain that 1t ought to take about five
or ten minutes to convice any one that ls
a native born citizen of the United States
with wit enough to take note and re-
member the course of events In the last
twenty-seven years. What has been done
or advocated that was In the interest Of
the common people. It has been an ig-
nOminous scramble for Office between
the old parties. The platforms adopted
have been for the sole purpose of decep-
tion and as near alike as possible. Both
have been in favor Of civil service re-
form, tariff reform, sound financial sys-
tenn, In sympathy with the down-trodden |
people of Ireland, turn the rascals out,
or keep the rascsls out, and so on, and so |
forth. The nomination of Postmaster
General Stevenson, with his battle cry,
ito the victOrs belong the SpoilS," was q
great stroke of policy to rally the ex-
postmaster'S with the hope of re-instate-
ment at all the cross road offices in the
United States. They will be faithful
and disinterested q? henchmen for the
vallent postmaster general. Pity Grover
has no prefix to his name, but as he
fought by proxy we will have to look
over that; they may create a little senti-
ment with "baby Ruth" to supply the de-
fciency. Grandfsther's military fame In
connection with the barrel will be suffi-
cient for the other side; no wonder poor
old John concluded "the publication of
politics was an irridescent dream" look
Ing from his standpoint. Itcan be done,
nevertheless; the question Is, will ltH
We think SO. Fratenslly yours,
A. MCKEE.
The advocate and Topeka tribune., 1892-08-10

TIE ADVOCATE has larger circulation
than any other paper in Kansas.