davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

Peculierities OF .the Different Grades.
Speaking Of ''jags," did you ever hear how
different Whistles will affect your dreams9 One.
who is not topper, tells the following in the
Cincinnati Enquirer:
A $40 brand, which is the best in the market
makes you dream of winning at faro, striking
1t rich at policy, or holding a hand at poker
which one would be fool not to stand pat on
and bet all he had
An S. brand creates the idea that you made
fortune easily and lost it, and you are regret
ting 1t; had good time, however, when you
did have money.
30 one does not make you dream OF wealt b
or OF winning at cards, but gives the impression
that good position is awaiting your accept
ance; but your friends are 10th to part with YOU
ana you stay to have good time.
81 variety gives whirling headache, and
you are riding merry go-round. man in
suits you, but you can't get off to hit him.
Faster and faster you ride, and grow SO dizzy
that you finally fall off helpless, yelling
| ''PoliceN' The policeman comes and arrests
| you. You are heavily fined in the court. You
| are obliged TO sit for hours among ugly-looking
vags. No one comes to help you at all, and you
are mad.
A S2-make-up throws you into spasms as
! soon as the eyelids close. You murder man
/ and try to escape. You can't run at all. po-
| llceman and mob settle on you. and you are
| almost beaten to death without being able u
| cry for help
They finally disappear, and when you try to
| get up large black cat with great yellow eyes
| appears and fastens It's fangs in your leg With
| a wrench away goes the calf of your leg in the
cats mouth. The cat runs off with its head and
| tail high in the air.
| A boa constructor reaches down from the limb
| OF a tree and coils around you; wild horse
| runs at you with open mouth and flaming eyes
| and beaten, bitten, wrenched and squeezed al
| most to death you awaken with terrified yell
| only to find after sl that it was the S2-whislcy
Don't buy anything cheaper than 50 or you will
| ose your reason.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
A HOnchalanr Bride.

1t was at the hotel table, says the Chicago
Times, and they looked suspicousiy like a
bridal couple, but their conversation seemed to
disprove the theory. He had explained in
rather loud tones that he had sewed the loop on
his Overccat with white thread, and she had
told him that if he'd had anv ingenuity he could
have made 1t black by drawing it through the
ink bottle. SO that every one could see they
were ''Old married peop,a,H for a bride would
have reprcachfully asked him why he hadn't
let her do it.
Then they began to order their dinner.
"Will you have a redhead duck or mallard ~
he asked.
I'm sure don't know" she returned, airily
~ don't know the difference between a redhead
duck and blue eyed pheasant"
This fiippancy disconnected him for q mo-
mont. but he seemed to remember something
and went on:
well, how do some broiled quails strike
your"
'Broed or stewed: it's immaterial to me. +"
size answered nonchalantly.
Then he became cross and delivered himself
Of an opinion.
"See here, Alice. you've got to decide. don't
want to go and order something for our first
dinner"
And then he suddenly paused as Alice
moaned
20, hushl knew you'd forget. You've
given 1t away after all my attempts to seem SO
| old married! o, Ralph"
And the hearers thought again OF the stu
pidity of man, and how it ruthlessly destroys
| all that the fnesse of women accomplishes
And they also wondered again why the victims
| of a wedding journey should regard themselves
as criminals
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
BRIGHT BITS.

Mr. MUM Ito his daugnter)-i suppose this
foreign suitor of yours hasn't cent.
Miss Munro, yes, he has, pa. He has a
lovely English accent.-ITUth.
"HELLow exclaimed the man from Chicago
as he stood before the Washington monument.
That's pretty good elevator shaft. When
are you going to put up the rest of the build
ing?" Washington Star.
"WaAr made you name your farm Metery q"
queried the reporter.
because 1t lies so beautifully" answered the
retired gas magnate, with low, sibllant
chuckle-Indt annapolis Journal.
TIE RIDING MASTER Have you learned TO trot
yet, Miss Mannley?
Miss Mannley-o, yes; could trot all right
if 1t weren't for the horse. The piaguey thing
Record.
"IF WE should become financially embar-
raised" said George, "doyou think your father
would help me out?"
yes, George, he said he was going to the
next time you showed your face in our house. "
Washington Star.
DKTEorIvE-Why do you suspect your cashier!
He is not extravagant, although it is true be
lives in comfort.
| give him he could not possibly live in comfort
| FI,e0ende Blatter,
"HELLo, Dinwiddie" exclaimed Shingles,
| when the two met on Fifth avenue. Il haven't
seen you in an age. What do you do for a iiv-
| ing now?'
81 Breathe replied Dinwiddie Isnguidly.
| PittsbIr0 Chronicle,
| NEW CooK-Im told the missus wants things
| in tn high-toned, fashionable style. Sure, I'm
afraid won't suit, for it's only plain cookin'
| I've done.
| Old Cook-It's aisy enough. Make Everything
| taste loke something else.-Jud0e.
A BROADWAY MERCHANT. - Mr.. Hayseeed
| These New Workers jes rush themselves tC
| death. Why on 'arth do they kill themselves
| that wayS
Mrs Hayssed-Land sakes! they've got to-
| Think of the rents they pay.-Netu Yorl
| Weekly.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
Powins 70 the Inevitanle.


''The old woman's right" he said, as he sat
down on truck on the station platform and
dangled battered tape measure.
who's right" asked the station agent, 40
cording 20 the Detroit free PresS.
my mother-in-aw. She lowed she couldn't
get through a car door, so drove nineteen
miles over here with the old woman's tape line
and sized up the door myself.
"she's right. -Four foot woman, three foot
door"
Reckon we could squeeze her in" suggested
the station agent sympathetically.
Squeeze? Great Day'n Morninl Squeezed
There amt nothing in the state OF Michigan
could squeeze that woman but q house afre or
an earthquake
I've heard Of mother-in-laws," continued
the man with the tape line, dejectedly, but
never heard tell Of one that growed to man
before"
Yours that kindr asked the agent.
You bet she Is, She come up to the farm
last August fer visit, ordinary sized woman.
Come in cars, easy rs you please. Growed
fat on country air. l never seed the Ike OF 1t.
Reckon she's over 800 pounds, and still grow.
ing th h 5 got pig the farm Mn saati kP
about time 60 be goin' homer
'Willyum, my son. says she. I shall spend
my days with you
40. no. ma says ], cheer up and pack your
trunk
I'm too stout, willyum, to move
" You kin travel says 1.
mere ain a car door IN the country says
she, that could git into
And now blamed If the old woman amt
right after all"
That's pretty bad" said the station agent.
The unfortunate son-in- law didn't answer.
He folded up the tape line and put il in his
pocket, and after a moments pause he said,
resignedy;
Reckon I'll move along. I'd kinder like to
get home before dark because if the old woman
misses this tape line like as not she'll bust the
clapboards off the kitchen If she rares around
lookin' for it."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
index TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MxEr1Nes-The Hibernisn Society; Working,
mems Union Association.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Notice TO Water Takers
As 20 Bills Against the British Steamship
Athens; Dividend Savannah Bank and Trusl
Company; Turkeys at Putzel's; Last Notice as
10 State and County Taxes, 1892.
f7RAmRoAD scHEDULEs-J., st. A. and I. R,
Railway.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULES - Ocean Steamship
Company.
SPECIAL SALE OF UNDERWEAR AND HOSIERY
Appel & Schaul.
PIANos-L. & B. s. NJ. n,
AMUsEMENTs-"The Fast Mail" at the Theater
Dec. %
LADIES ATTKNTIoN-Falk Clothing Company.
You MAY PAY-Savannah Carriage & Wagon
Company.
AUCTION sALEs-Canned Goods Fancy Goods,
Etc. by ]. H. Oppenheim & Son, Postpon ed
Sale. by @. H. Dorsett.
Our Low PANTs-B. H. Levy & Bro.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wantei: For Rent; For
Bale; Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

Since the death of Jay Gould bis life,
character and fortune have been commented
on by hundreds OF ministers. generally TO
Mr.. Gould's discredit. But among all the
others one bigot In Chicago distinguished
himself by giving utterance in his sermon
to this: "If Jay Gould is In heaven-I don't
believe he is, bat be may be, for the ways
of God are strangs-h jay Gould is IN
heaven he must be lonely. for there is none
there 10 welcome him. not one whose last
hours were made brighter by bis generosity
or care" In other words, 'if Jay Gould is
in heaven" the preacher thinks God showed
poor judgment. Such disgusting bigotry
and sacrilege should call forth strongest
condemnation from the preachers congre-
CATION, as well as from all right-minded
people everywhere. There is neither
Christian charity nor common decency in
the sentiment
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
publio Schools in the south.

The New York Advertiser IL always
ready TO assist in creating a wrong impress
sion of the south or of any institution In the
south. A day or two ago it published an
article on SCHOOLS In the South" After
calling attention to the increased appropria-
lions for school purposes In the southern
states and declaring it was mat
ter of encouragement and oongratu-
lation that taxes we're being levied
for educational purposes. 1t says: "But &C
cording to Mr.. George W. Gable. himself q
southern man by birth and sympathies. the
increased appropriations for educational
purposes in that section are used chiefly for
the support Of state universities and mill
tary schools, which the sons Of gentlemen
alone are privileged to attend, while the
great mass of the poor people are denied
even the cheapest kind Of schools.
Here and there may be found shabby
school house where the children Of the poor
white trash may attend for three or four
months in the year; but even this is ezcep-
tional. The larger towns aud cities have
good schools usually. but the rural popula-
ton is compelled to grow up in that ignor-
ance which makes it docile and more easily
controlled by the gentlemen
The foregoing does great injustice to the
southern people It is unnecessary to speak
of it in stronger terms. In this state,
for instance. the legislature has
just appropriated $4,000 for the public
schools. That is 100000 more than was
appropriated last year, and a great deal
more than was appropriated the year be-
fore Year after year the appropria-
| ton for public schools has been increased as
the legislature has been able to increase it.
| The people have borne as heavy taxation as
| they could in order that the public schools
| might be improved.
And, notwithstanding Mr.. Cables state
ment, none of she peoples money is given
to schools for the education of gentle
mems sons exclusively. A little is given
TO the state university and one branch col
lege gets few thousand dollars, but nearly
all the students in these institutions are sons
Of poor men. About 800. 900 is given to the
chronological school, where the sons Of poor
men may learn trades, and something is
given to the girls industrial school at Mill
edgeVille, where poor girls are taught occu-
pations by which they can earn a support.
1t is not true that the sons and daughters
of any class of people are favored And the
effort to increase the efficiency Of the COM
mon schools is earnest and constant. The
Advertiser aud Mr.. Cable should study the
condition of the schools Of tha south before
undertaking to tell the world how the school
money in the south ia distributed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

the MOANING NEWS is on file at the following
pleces where Advertising Rates and other IN
ormation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
81. BATES, IS Park Row.
@, p, RowEIL & Co, 10 Spruce street
W. W. SHARP & Co., 81 Park Row.
FRAnx KIERNAN & Co., lb2 broadway.
DApCHY a Co, 81 Park Place.
]. ". THOMPSON, so Park Row.
AMzRIoAN NEvsPAPKR PUBILsHKRs ASSOCIATION
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
q. W. AYxR & Son, Times Building.
BOSTON
q B. MILES, 266 " ashington street.
PxrrEEenL & Co., 10 State street.
CHICAGO
loan & THOMAS, Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
npvrs ALDEr COMPANY. 65 West Fourth street
NSIsos OHEsmAN & Co.. 1877 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MonNrra NEWS BUREAU, ~ Whitehall street,
ST. AUGUSTINE
q MARoorrE. st. Augustine, Fla.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

To clear out all the germs of the disease
the authorities of Burlington. Ia, burned a
house and all of It's contents in which
diphtheria patient had Just died. DIR. Ed
son, of the New York board Of health, says
the authorities were radical but right. he
added that dphtheria germs are especially
hard Co kill, and that often fumIgation is
inadequate for their destruction. He said
he had known OF house in which diph-
iberia had been to be thoroughly fumi-
gated and a year after the children in an
other family had contracted the disease
there. Another house be had known of
which had been thoroughly fumigeted and
painted throughout but in which the dis
ease had reappeared. The Burlington plan,
however effective it may be, is not likely
70 become popular. 1t is too costly.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
A New Cotton Harvester. 81

Another cotton harvester" has been in-
vented. The picture of it, published re-
Gently in an illustrated scientific paper is
very pleasing. Two fat aud we'll groomed
mules are shown drawing the machine,
which is mounted on wagon wheels, through
a cotton patch in which the plants are Of as
even growth as sweet shrubs in lady's
garden. 1t is to be noted, too, that the
plants In the picture are just the right hight
to make the pickers in the 'har vester" cover
the proper area of bush to get at all of
the open fiber. On the rows over
which the harvester" has passed the
plants stand as gaunt and innocent Of COT
ton as Mckinley blanket is of wool; on
the 70 WE yet to be picked such a crop OF
staple hangs as was never seen in Georgia.
From the rear Of the wagon depends big
gunnyoloth bag filled with nice, clean,
machine picked cotton, guaranteed to be
free from burrs, unopen bolls, green leaves,
rotten twigs, dirt, wasp nests and other
things that evince a natural prediction 90
dwell with the open cotton on the stalk.
That is an ideal picture of what cotton
harvester should lie.
For dozen years or more inventors have
been puzzIing their brains to produce a ma
chine that would harvest cotton. Numer-
GUS machines have been invented. but up 60
a recent date not one had been able 70 do
the work satisfactorily. Many models have
been made that would operate BEAUTIFULLY on
promoters" table, but when the machine
itself was put into cotton patch 1t
met difficulties it could not overcome.
The delicate fiber had to be extracted from
the open bolls while everything else on the
stalk was left untouched. And the ma
chine couldn't do it.
II it were possible to make the stalks
grow all of the same hight and size-as they
do in the picture-it would be COMPARE
lively easy to make a machine that would
| fit over the row of plants and brush off the
open cotton. But cotton plants are
strangely perverse The size and shape of
plants at one end Of row do not indicate
what the size aud shape at the other end
are. On one side of a field the plants may
grow waist high and as even as could be
wished; half way across they may be high
enough TO hide a horse, aud a dozen rodI
farther on not as high as the
length of ones foot. When some man shall
have invented an apparatus that will adjust
itself to such rapidly varying conditions
when necessary, a long step toward tbt
! practicable cotton harvester will be made
But if inventors work on the presumption
that cotton plants grow as evenly as tet
plants, they are wasting time. 1t may b.
that the inventor of the apparatus in thu
picture did nothing of the kind. He may
have informed himself thoroughly of tn
vagaries of the cotton plant and built
machine that will overcome them. 1t is Il
be hoped that he has. The south would Civ,
heap for cotton harvester that will
harvest cotton.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

The next yacht racing season in northern
waters Is likely to be one of the iveliest
that the country has ever seen. The mem
bers of the Royal Yachs Squadron of Eng
land, Of which LORD Dunraven, the chal-
lenger for the Americas cup, is a member.
are talking Of sending q whole feet of craft
TO accompany Dunraven's boat Should
this be done it is probable that a series Of
races between the smart yachts of the two
countries will be arranged. Dunraven's
boat will be called Valkyrie-the same
name as that borne by bis cutter of former
years
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
one of John AlIen,s stor,es

Representative John Allen tells this new story
Of an experience during the November cam
paign. He visited places where he had never
been before, and at one of his meetings he ran
across an old friend "Hello john" said the
native, grasping the congressman's hand
where In the world have you been during the
last three or four yearsT' "Beenr' echoed the
coDsress In in WaahDetop bsrs Hon nson i
sent me to legislate for you" You don't say
sop' was the astonished constituents reply. II
thought all the tins that you were down in
Texas visiting your Uncle Buck. 1" "And such, ="
ss Mr.. Allen said, lis famen
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
France at Brussels.

From the San Francisco Examiner (Dersl
France has played poor part in the none
tary conference. IL is evident that she is no
longer ruled by statesmen, but by politicians,
not by parties, but by coalitions OF factions
The foremost OF bimetallic nations and the
leading power of the Latin union was expected
60 show a strong interest in silver and TO throw
the weight OF the nation in favor Of a policy
that would make the commercial powers a BIZ
metallic union. The French delegates have
taken a feeble position and France has been
of practically no assistance to the cause OF BIZ
metallism In the present conference. The
maintenance Of the status quo is about as high
as they have been able 70 look,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19
The aovernors on immigration.

The Governors on Immigration
II the opinions Of the governors Of the
several states may be accepted as rejecting
public sentiment, this country is largely 10
favor of suspendIng immigration for the
present and restricting IL IN future. The
same opinion has been advanced by the lead
ing ne wspapers, so that the expressions by the
governors, made in response 30 an invita-
ton from the New York World, only con-
firms what the papers have asserted.
The suggestions Of some of the governors
are interesting. Gov. Wiley, Of Idaho,
considers the unrestricted admission OF
paupers and criminals the greatest present
peril of the American commonwealth, and
thinks the restrictions placed upon the
Chinese should apply also to Italians and
Slavs. Gov. Fenrey, of Washington, sug-
gests absolute prohibition for year or
longer. Gov. Chase, OF Indiana, fsvors
restriction and the Limitation of the suffrage
among foreigners TO those who can read our
language, especially the constitution. Gov.
Merriam, of Minnesota, thinks no foreigner
should be allowed TO land on our shores
without a certificate from the American
consul at the port Of departure that the I'm
migrant has never been guilty OF crime,
possesses a fair education and has
money enough to provide for him
self for at least ysar after ar
rival in this country. Gov. Tllman,
OF South Carolina, would like anarchists,
communists and paupers kept out, but says
the south has room for several millions OF
white men who are willing to work. Gov.
Northern, Of Georgia, declined 20 express an
opinion. though 1t may be said for Georgia
that the views Of Gov. Tillman very nearly
express her opinions. Gov. Stone, of Missis-
sippi. traces the responsibility for undesir-
able immigration TO the republican tariff
laws, which undoubtedly operate In NUM-
Der of indirect as well as direct ways to the
detriment Of the country. Gov. Mckinney,
of Virginia, favors suspension until the
cholera scare is over and restriction after
that. Cows. Holt, of North Carolina;
Burke, of North Dakota; Brown, Of Rhode
Island; Reynolds Of Delaware, and others
place themselves on record as desiring re-
striction. The governors who refused to
commit themselves, besides NOrthen, were
Francis, of Missouri; Flower Of New York +;
Jones, of Alabama; Osborne, of Wyoming {;
Pattison, of Pennsylvania, and Albeit, OF
New Jersey, 1t is possible that political
diplomacy influenced some of them to de-
cline to talk, while others objected to ex-
pressing an opinion until they we're more
fully informed on the subject.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

The Quaker City Maids Predicament.
A police census of Philadelphia has
brought out some facts that will prove of
especial and melsncholy interest to the fe-
male portion of that city's population. Mr..
Porter's census alleged that the sexes were
about venlyIbslanced that there were about
as many men in Philadelphia as women.
But the police census shows otherwise.
There are not men enough to go around. II
there were law compelling every unmar-
ried man who is of age in the city TO marry
Philadelphia maid, and they we're all to
comply with the law, there would still be
about $4,000 disconsolsts and minated
women TO complain about the uneven dis
tribution of the good things of this world.
In view of this condition Of affairs It may
be conjectured that hereafter the maid of
the City of Brotherly Love will think twice
before she offers sisterly love to the young
man at her feet and thereby increases the
| odds against her individual aspirations. On
the other hand the "boys" will enjoy the
situation. They may be more independent
and execting without the risk Of being
tossed overheard"
AuOVu6T cause VI IoJOlOihB Ou VIC PaEI VI
the young men and of dismal foreboding on
the part of the majority Of the population
is the leap year figures Of the orphans
court. These figures show the year to have
been failure, so far as It's speciality is con-
cerned During the eleven months past
there were only 1874 marriages
recorded at the court. For
the same period Of last year
476 ladies' more than that number added
"Mrs" to somebody else's name. How
ever there are yet two weeks Of leap year
left. The publication OF the census figures
may serve to stir the girls to the exercise of
their prerogative, in which case the 47f
weddings against the leap year record may
be wiped out and the balance put on the
other side. But il anything like that is to
happen the girls will have to hustle.
Apart from the sentimental view Of the
situation, it must be very gratifying to the
minority in Philadelphia that women can-
not vote. II they could there might not be
man in city council or any of the fat mu'
nicipal offices.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

The fable OF the lion that decided between
disputants and took all of the disputed prop
erty as his fee has moral that the creditors
in the Ryan case. in Atlanta. can appre-
ciate. They refused TO settle at IS per cent. d,
and now will not get 10 per cent. The at
torneys have taken the lions share. And
their fees, and the costs, appear extraor-
dinary-$5s, 900 against a total fund of 1885,
600 in the receivers hands. But people who
90 to law must take the conseauences
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-19

Buffalo Bill, a stalwart specimen Of man.
hood, smoked pipe while he fought In~
dians, did hard scout duty on the plains,
and almost lived on horseback for years
while supplying the Union Pacific road
with buffalo meat. he is alive and in the
prime of life. His son, a monocled dude,
aged %, who lived in Buffalo, smoked ciga-
rettes until his brain was affected thereby,
then committed suicide