Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1892-09-10
PITlI AND POINT.

"Born leaders of men Women.
Puck.
No one Is so sorry to see the orator sit
down as himself. Washington Star.
While they all claim to be milk deal
ers, many OF them are manufacturers. -
New York sur.
Love laughs at locSsmiths, but it
gives very respectful attention to the
goldsmith. Puck.
The world owes us living, but il
hasn't yet authorized anybody to SETTLE
debts of that kind. Puck.
Conundrums submitted for the POST
gold eagle prize; What makes a coach
dog spotted2 The spots. Post.
rt makcs no difference how ambition,
man be to excel; at this season he eau
endure being "thrown into the shade. :"
Boston Courier.
She packed trunk with flannel gowns
AMI took it to the slore
But when the damp air stuck that truui
Those H4nuels were no more.
Life.
He was q philanthropist to his end.
His last words were spoken in Whisper
to his assassiu-'t Take Mr.. A. for yom
lawyer, and your acauittal will be as.
sured. Paris Figaro.
Woman has to wait until she is asked
before she can marry. She has no voice
N the matter until after the cere nony
Then she knows how to make up for lost
time.-Boston Transcript.
When you see saapeless something
as to whose name or purpose you cat
form no definite idea, you may be pretty
sure that it is a prize yachting cup or d
lady's bonnet. Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Frump-''Isnt Willie rather
young TO be sent to school2' Mrs
Chump-"Yes, but he has just learned
to whistle aud I cant bear 10 have him
around the house. New York Herald.
Mrs. 5Imson-"My Clara is an aw.
fully delicate girl; she cau't stand any.
thing Mrs. Voa Blumer-'' Neithe.
can my Mauds, She put on a sailor hat
the other day, and it made her seasic6.
Cloak Review.
Featherstoue-"I wish you would
come and help me select some trousers,
old man" Rlngway don believe
my taste is any better than yours.
Featherstore ChopeIuay-"No; but
your credit Is. lid Bits
Mr., BoudoIipper-"Young links is
dead in love with our daughter Mollie. 8"
Mrs. BoudchppeF-''W What makes you
think so3' Mr. BondcIipper Gle ha,
been making inquiries at Bradstreet,
about ny financial standing. Texas
Siltings.
"Wbo is that felIow37 "Hs name is
well, I've forgotten it again. never
could remember it, He's always trying
to borrow a dollar or two from me. -
''Aud you can't remember his namei
Lend him the dollar or two some day. "
Chicago Tribune.
Real Estate Agent-'Yes, sit; this
land will raise any crop, 10 matter what
it Is. Fertile land, do you ask? can
prove it. =" Prospector Howl Roa
Estate Agent-"See that barrel?n Pros
pector-' Real Estate Agent
Last night that was a keg."-Boston
Courier.
Jones-"Why on earth do you offer
such a large reward for the return OF
that horrd, yappjug, swapping cur'"
Brown-''To please my wife. Jones
"But such large reward will be sure
to bring him back Brown-"Oh, no.
1t wont. Hes dead 1 drowned him
myself, Judy.
An estimab.c but unhealthy lady Who
IS taking the water at Saratoga was de-
scribing the symptom to friend, and
wishing to explain that she first visited
the bath and afterward took her glass of
mineral water at the spring, she said :
my dear, the treatment is very simple.
You take your BATH first and drink the
water aflerwarj. Texas Siltiugs.
care you mechanical eogiueerr"
eyes, We "Do you know all about the
combustion of fuel in locomotive grates?"
~ know somc.hiug Of It. Why do YOU
Ask ~ am looking for information on
certain point What point3" 81
want 10 know if the father who discour-
ages his daughters lover can be called
spark arrester ,'--Detroit Free Press.
"Bossie said the young man, plead.
ingly, ''tlis is the fourth time | have
called at your home since I saw yol
last. Is there any way by which can
always he sure Of finding you in, or at
least OF always knowing where you arc
when call for you" You might ring
me uP, you know, responded the pretty
telephone girl, looking dreamily at her
shapety tinsers.-Cnicago Tribune.