The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-07-10


and Eve, and without o shaddcr of d
doubt it will continue, more or less, as
long us the world stands. Of course n
man ain't apt to acknowledge that he
is ruled by Il woman, and they seem to
think because they were created before
her that they are about twice US much
consequence amt rcferin' to Beuja-
min-but dear SUI, l never thought it
wuz much of n feather in their caps
Accordin' to the Bible, the animals
and sech like wuz made and then man
was created q superior bein' over them
crectcrs. Then there being still great
chance for improvement, woman wuz
made last, and WIZ SO nigh perfection
thcre wnZn't ever nothin' made to out
do her. 10 be sure curiosity wuz n
great drawback, but have always felt
that Eve wuz SO pcstercd by Adam n
wonderin' and guessin' and hangin'
round that tree, that she jest tasted of
the apple to satisfy him as much us her
self. There wuzn't nothing selfish
about her, for accordin' to all accounts
She gave him the biggest half and all
the core. OF course he laid it all to her
and she wuz honest enough to own up,
and suppose took most all the blame.
sartinly think if any one talnt is
hereditary, it's curiosity. It's handed
down from one generation to the other.
i recollcct Jcdcdiah I}umpus heard
noise in his cellar one night and he wuz
,dretful curious TO know what it wuz,
but, like Adam, didn't jest like to
venture himself SO finally he lit the
candle, and says he to his wife: "Comc,
Hannah, you go down cellar and I'll
hold the light Don't be scared, for
I'm rite here" IIowsumevcr, when
Hannah drove au old stray cat hissin'
and spittin' up them stairs, Jcdcdah
dropped the candle and departed for the
bedroom considerable lively, scared
nigh out of his senses. hain't no call
to tell folks his senses wasn't anything
to boast on, and as don't believe in
sayin' spiteful things of anybody,
;shan't mention the fact.
Now my other half is n dretful GU
rious man, but he amt no hand to
sneak out of difficulty and lay it on
his wife. The fact is, Benjamins worst
fault is carclcssncss, and 1 have had
dretful hard work to break him of it.
1T amt my way to fuss and scold.
believe in keepin' calm and influencin'
folks.
Wall, meditated quito spell, and
at last l decided on way of brealSin'
him of his needless ways. OF course l
consulted benjamin first; / always do,
and think every wife should show her
husband respect in that matter. It's
dretful good idea If you want to have
your own way, for naturally your other
half will be pleased to think you have
such a high opinion of him and will most
always show his appreciate on by tellin'
you to do jest as you think best.
Wall, as usual, my other half con-
scented to my plan, which was rs fol-
lows: Everything which wuz lnyin'
round, instead of bcin' put away should
be carried to the attic in certain
place and he wuz to find them without
my help. For day or tew, everything
wuz hung up. WIZ beginnin' to think
I shouldn't have no use for that empty
flour barrel l had carried upstairs, but
lawful heart, before knew it l was
gcttin' leg weary, runnin' up and down
with things He didn't ask no ques-
tions, but would frequently come down
from the attic with his over-hnlls or
slippers, sorter smilin' like, and he re-
marked onct twas kinder handy to
know jest where to 60.
Wall, all run on peaceful till one Sun
day mornin' he WIZ dressin' fer church,
and his best vest wuz missin'. He
looked for quite,a spell, finally says he:
1tuuldah, seen my vest?''
looked up, sorter laughin' and says
/: Yes"
.-Iang it all!' says benjamin, 81 for
got that pesly attic"
WALL I declare if my other half
wuzn't n little riled when he come
down a brushin' off the flour and
snloofhin' out some wrinkles. Says he:
~ calkcrlate can't afford TO buy good
clothes to have 'em all damned mp in a
barrel when there is room for 'em down.
stairs
kept calm aad told him if he 1vuz
tired Of goin' upstairs wouldn't make
him any more sech trouble. He imme-
diatcly became quiet. thought it
wuzn't any use to tell him i wuz jest
tuckered ont myself trapesin' up
there SO often. After that I decided to
to wait spell and things run on the
old way quite awhile. used to pile
''em up in Il chair at the table, but dear
SUI, it WIZ an easy matter for him to
lift 'em out into another one.
Wall, one mornin' he went out, and I
cdihcridtc inc Scttln-room ana kitchen
looked like an Old curiosity shop, only
more So stood right still few min
utes, mcditatin'. After due considera-
ton placed his rubber boots one each
side the scttin'-room stove, arrangin'
some cat o-ninc-tails and ferns in 'cm.
The effect wuz full as plcasin' to the
eye as silded shovel hung onto the
wall, or pigs trough upholstered in
4. Z