St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-03-06

: HE first, best
u#rlA {~N and most-to-be-
seAyNHlMs desired chaperon
d ~ 80 for any young
TX " I'LL girl must aSSur-
ne - 90 eddy be the
r. ~ ~ m0ther-she who
q Y ,EM- has brooded over
|, w., kK her fiedgling
E2Ut when baby
SHZIt\ with tender de-
z-, vOtion, who has
@MR 49, wa tch d her
|sA-V sweet bud OF
promise mature,
who has from
year to year as
sisted the devel-
epment of the being cOnfided to her
care. SAYS Madeleine VintOn Dahlgren
In the st. Louis Dispatch.
As the skillful gardener knows well
In advance the effect he seeks to pro-
duce upon his flowers by aSSduOus cult
ure, knows even the delicate shading
to be looked for as each petal expands,
so a good mother holds in her heart a
hidden lore. connected with the lite OF
her child, all unknown to the rest of the
world. She NAV not be able to COM
municate this knowledge to others, for
1t is hers by the sacred right Of intui-
ton.
This prerogative of guidance a
mother may always justly claim. 1t is
part Of the holy mystery of mother
hood. To our apprehension this matter
of maternal ChaperOnage does not seem
an adaptation to the social requirements
of the social world but rather an in
herent right-a natural claim, which
wise and careful mother cannot we'll
forego. At the very time when her
child is launched forth from the safe
and sheltered home mOorlngs into the
swift and dangerous currents of the
voyage of life, the mother is
most needed pilot her dear
Sunken rocks. She can supply by
her knowledge the ignorance of youth.
/ would not ask why should mother
chaperon her daughter, but rather
formulate my question into: Why
should a mother not chaperOn her
daughter? | fancy in the discussion Of
such a proposition it will be found
More Difficult
TO prove the negative. and when the
subject is once properly understood, it
must be conceded that Il mother should
assuredly continue her care. There eX-
lists no reason why she shouln not. But
the question becomes rather more
complicated, perhaps, when the
mother may have died. or when
from any cause it becomes i'm
possible for her to perform the duty.
Then the American girl asserts herself.
She has been reared in an independence
of thought and action which makes her
dissatisfied with all restraint. She con-
Strues chaperoDage as espionage. She
declares that she will not tolerate being
watched, and AYERS that she must be al
lowed entire freedom and liberty Of
action, and she asserts that her own per-
ceptions of right and wrong, and her In
nate delicacy of sentiment, are all that
is needed to make it quite safe for her
to 20 wherever and whenever she
chooses and to do whatever she wills to
do. Now this is true. and it is not true.
In the first place, it is mistake to con-
found chaperonage with espionage. TO
suppose that chaperOn is a spy on
ones actions is peryersion of the
proper functions of such an office.
ChaperOn
is either mother or selected mat
Fonly friend, whose tender interest or
friendliness is the best guarantee
against misconStruction. A young girl
Is supposed to be guileleSs, artleSS and
confiding. These are the loYabe
traits which will doubtless some day
contribute to the happiness of home
circle of her own. But just in proper
ton as these attractions exist they be-
come dangerous without guidance from
their very nature and on account of the
lneXperience of youth.
Then young girls. even if ever so
carefully trainedsas to understand the
nicer cOnventiOnalitieS that regulate
the polite world. are inclined to be
needless and carried away for the time
being by the eXhilaratiOn of a gay life.
Thus. with the best disposition to do
only what is proper. they commit errors
that in measure miSrepresent them
and which they a.terWard regret.
Now, it is obvious that the dignified
presence of Il matron who loves them,
or is at all interested in them, would
check all inadvertent indiScretion from
the outset, and thus in the end greatly
contribute to their future well-being
and happiness. The Situationc are in
Vulnerable that suggest themselves
where such a safeguard would he the
greatest kindness. The French have
pithy saying, that lit is the first step
that costs" How true! All, what cost
of vain and unaVailing regret might the
wise chaperon spare needless girl!
A facility of broken engagements as
well as of divorce would seem to go
hand in hand. 1t is in either case
broken troth. Now one of the special
duties of the mother or the chaperon is
TO guard their marriageable wards as
tar as possible in re ceiving the atten-
tons of men.
An Engagement,
announced or unannouneed, is always
more or less compromising and should
in honor be deemed sacred promise,
not 10 be violated, unless for grave and
most serious reasons. A young girl,
unguided, is not very apt to weigh all
consequences, and the future is to her
very dreamy. She lives in her emotions
and in the present, and sadly needs the
aid Of loving, specialized eyes to make
her illusions safe realities.
There are SO many little things, which
are not as trivial as they would seem,
where clear judgment is needed. For
instance, in the matter of receiving
presents. 1T is understood that a gentle
man has the privilege of sending flow
erS and, perhaps, if the friendship is we'll
established, boxes Of bon-bOns to a lady.
AS to presents having money value
they are, of course, out of the question.
Yet the frequent acceptance of even
these simple gifts is to be avoided, for
TO make these offerings habtually is a
conceded and incumbent thing for
lover to offer to his fiance-so much so
that there is society phrase concern
ing these little gifts, calling them ''the
regulation box of Huyler's," etc.
There is very narrow dividing line,
therefore, between the permissible and
fhp mot Onrmic SihIa Ono 70 for
granted that no woman other than
heartless flirt wilfulIy encourages the
attentions of man simply for the vain
qualification of being able to count
his name among others refused,
and therefore that any Wom-
an of average astuteness can
readily check "intentions" of marriage
before man becomes too deeply in
terested. 1t is also kind, to say the very
least, to spare mans vanity the
Modification of a Refusal.