Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-12-15
HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD EY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and LaughsAkn
Phases of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed by Eminent Wood Artists AT
Our own Day.
Tea-'i'abte Talk.

Tea-Eabte Talk.
ATLAS must have learned some
| thing about the weigh OF the world
| 1onkers Statesman.
| We suppose a sailor comes to be 81
star" as the result of the pitch Of has
vessel. -Binghamton Leader
II may be that some people enjoy
chess because it is necessarily y
square" game Washington Star.
The precocious hopeful does not
| consider himself up to snuff until he
gets down to tobacco. Dallas News
WHEN a rifle eXplodes the fauiB
| may be in the breech, though it ~
charged to the muzZle. -Boston
| Courier.
| MILLIONAIRE LADY (who has jest
| bought a villa)--"N Jane, go Ons
F.! in the barn and see that the hens lay
eggs for breakfast. "-Siftngs.
SHE-"Did yon see anything in
| New York that reminded you OF
Philadelphia" He-"Yes; the mes
senger boys. "-Brooklyn Life.
A Poor JUDGE.-Mr. Newwed-
| "Um, seems to me, my angel, this
| hash has queer taste" Young Wife
Hash? That's fruit cake. New
| York Weekly.
WHEN ones wife follows him cut t0
| the hatrack with her hama Oh his
shoulder he inquiries involuntary.
! How much do you wait, my deag?'
| Dallas News.
A CURIOUS circumstance about
| organ-grinding music is that the
| more it's ground with the same ia
| strument the less fine it becomes.
| Philadelphia Press.
ERANK-"Ill never forget thaE
! Jolly dinner at the club Jim gave sts
before he was married" Tom YOU,
won't, Ell! Why, you forgot all abotat
it before the dinner was over. life
LITTLE BoY-"Don't Quakers eyeE
| ight?" Mamma-"No, my dear,
Little Boy (after retection) - SO
should think it would be awful hard
for real big Quaker to be a Quaker .
| Good News.
The REToRT CoURTEoUs.-A-"4t
seems to ne that your ears are geg-
ting bigger and bigger every day. :"
| B-"Let me tell you something. Mf
ears and your brain would make q
trst-rate Donkey Texas Siftings.
BoY--Pop, kin / go to tn circus?
| Pop-Circuses is wicked. BOy-Tfe
man gave me two tickets fer carryinf
water for the horses. Pop-Om! a
man wot's as charitable as that can't
be very bad. Wen both go.-Good
News.
No NEED FOR HURRY.-Miss Hast
ings (overtaking Miss Slowboy on the
way to church)- Hurry, Title, OK
you'll be late" Miss Slow boy
There is no hurry, dear. Let me in
troduce Mr. Bellows, our organjst. p"
Puck.
A CRUEL INsINUATIoN. = Miss
Bondclipper-" Bridget, some Of my
jewelry is missing" Bridget {who
! reads the papers)-"Sure, mum, you
viii not be intimating that it's "a
member Of the English ariStocracy
that Oh am. "-TcXas SiftiEgs.
AT THE INTELLIGENCE OFgaGE;,----
Mrs. Hunter-"I want a good girl,
and possibly you might do. Have
| you had any experience" Domestic
Importation - "IGparience is IT,
Faith, and haven't Oh teen in 10 less
than twinty families within amonth,."
Boston Transcript
WHAT He OBJECTED t. Mr.
| Shortweight dealer in c0au--i VANS
| you to settle for that ton OF cUa} yOsl
| got q few days ago. a man has II
pay for what he gets in this WCYli4
Customer-Go are right, sjr. 4 no
when he buys coal he has to ray t0a
a lot he doesn't get Brooklyn Lite
MEANS OF -DEsTKUsTJoS.
Morbyd nnembers # the suiiNe
Club(-"I have selected stryrl:n;i.e.
Glnemy another member" .ta'
decided to use a parallel I" .. pr
alle!? What's that" u aoDt
know, but lis fatal. The newsp.a-
pers are always speaking Or the
deadly parallel. Puck.
4 SEVERE TEST Stranger
your paper a great advertising me
dunn, Go you? It isn't worth shacks
put in an advertisement last week
and didn't get an answer, not one.
Editor-My! my. How was your adj
VeTJistIHeHC WOfutu. SLfangef---
poor young man wants pretty visits
who can do her own houscwork. p
New York Weekly.
BULKINs was very pious, very fond
of the ladies, and very bald on The
back Of his head. The other even
ing he was calling on girl, and was
giving her considerable church talk
"Ah, Miss Mary" he said, I'VE are
watched over very carefully. Eyea
the hairs Of our heads are num-
bered." Eyes, Mr.. Bulisins, she re-
-.