St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-12-10


when so many grown folks have none.
Tie school teachers are getting
tan on their cheeks. Next month
they put rattan on their pupils
Boston Transcript.
SHE-I thought you told me Mr..
Nixon was man Of regular habits.
He-Wcll, he has been drinking
steadily ever since ! knew him
Life.
TOMMY lion is Il carnivorous
animal, amt he, paw? Mr.. Fjgg-
Yes. That is what makes him SO
dangerous to meat - indianapolis
Journal.
He (anxiously)-"D:d I understand
you to say Miss or Mrs." She de
municipalities" He (gallantly)-
pray. allow me to make it Mrs. -
Troy Press.
EDISON has patented GOO inyen-
lions, but he has to slap at the sum-
mer fly just as vainly as anybody else.
Genius cannot do everything. -Balti-
more American.
"Now," SAID the new reporter. as
his eve followed the track Of the blue
pencil, Il understand what is meant
by an editors line of thought
Washington Star.
Discrimination do you like my
friend Hunker? Travcrs-He hasn't
any backbone. Why, the fellow let
! me have IS as soon as asked him.
New York Herald.
SURFACE - Isn't Bighcl rather
young to be cynic? Rowley-Oh,
no. He has been graduated a year
and the world hasn't recognized him
yet.-NeW York Herald.
ROAD AGENT (stOpping funeraD--
Hold up y'r hands, | want all tn
money we've got! Chief Mourner-
Bless me. Here's the undertaker's
bill-collectOr already.-Life.
TRAyERs-"How long a cc arse does
your son take at collcge?" DobSon-
"That's just the question | asked. lie
wrote back that it would be two
miles with turn. New York Sun.
Mr., WICKwIRE-Here is something
ways woman can save money. Mrs.
Wickwire - Does it say anything
! about her remaining Single?-1ndlan-
| apOlis Journal.
SMITH-YOu needn't tell me that
| dogs don't know as much as human
| beings / took PontO to church with
me last Sunday. Jones-1es? Smith
Well, sir, he slept through the
| whole sermOn.-Llfc.
Mrs. KEEDICK praising young Mr..
Adlet to her daughter)-lie doesn't
smoke, drink, or swear. He's a good
boy and would be true to you. Miss
kcedick Shaking her head)-Hc's
too good to be true, mamma.--Iruth.
Il SUPPOSE" observed Harry Ho-
Jack after the doctor had amputated
both arms as the result Of lndepend-
ence Day casualties, Il suppose that
I shall have to learn to shoot cannon
with my toes by the next Fourth. -
| Jury.
A SKIPPER claims to have seen the
sea serpent in the Sky. If the phe-
nomenal monster has really been
| translated, many an ancient mariner
will experience a discOuraging loss
Of material for new yarns. New
York World.
Mrs. KEENE-There are times
when | wish | were a man. Mr..
keene-For instance? Mr.. keene-
When I pass miliner's window, aid
| think how happy | could make my
wife by giving her new bonnet
Texas Siftings.
ii HEAR that young Shiny is dying
| Of consumption. How does that
happen when he is such constant
smoker. and tobacco kills the germs
of the disease:" "Oh, Shiny doesn't
smoke tobacco. He smokes cigar
cites. buffalo Express.
"YoUR hisband.' said the caller,
sympathizingly, was man of en-
cellent qualities" YES" sighed the
widow, che was good man. Every
body says So ! wasn't much &C
quainted with him myself. He be-
longed to six lodges "-TeXas Sift-
| ings
Il WONDER why it is said old
lobe to his wife. "that women pre-
fer drowning and men shooting IN
case of suicide?" 81 suppose" she
replied, as she th0ughtfully cOntem-
plated his nose, that it is because
men hate water so. "-Dctrolt Free
Press.
DEAR me-" exclaimed Mrs. BagoSh,
"look at that man comm out Of the
restaurant. He's pickin' ms tcetn
with his pocket-knife. " "iumph.
replied her husband, "he probaoly
wasn't raised where they have forks
and SO he don't know no better. -
Washington Star.
SHE That couple in front of us
do you think they are marrIea: lie
Yes. am sure they. are 1hey
have been married a long time, too"
She-"Why, how do you know" lie
-"Hayen't YOU noticed that Whcn
pretty girl comes on the stage she
| always hands the opera glasses over
RIGHT ?"-SOmeryille journal.
Mr.. JAGsBY-My dear, allow me
TO introduce Mr.. Bagsby. Mrs.
Jagsby-I am delighted to meet you,
Mr., B9gshy. Bat do you know, Mr.;
Bagsby, that I have 50 often heard
YOU helping Mr.. Jagsby to get the
front door open when he comes nome
late at night, that it is almost the
same as meeting an old friend.-lh-
| dianapolis Journal.
| A-rsygs,sn @H|