Evening journal., 1892-05-02
HIS sAslLIcoNrHAMAruReIsT.
A Kirkwsod Street Girls Exsctions Loe
for Her = Dudo.


the same family name, but who is not
related to him In any way. In fact, rela-
| tIonship is Just what the chappie from
the West Side longed for.
Reginald is not exactly a dude, but he
would be one II judged by the East Side
standard. IL is true be wore high hat,
full dress suit, light gloves and carried a
very heavy cane, which ever and anon
knocked the varnish of of his f5 90
patent leather shoes Notwithstanding
all these imperfectlons to the eye Of
common sense. he was a good fellow In
his way aud, better still, In his heart he
harbored deep aud nevsr-dying love for
Miss K Wood Street.
In due season be arrived at the door OF
his dsrling's home. His coming was an
ticipated and the reverberations of the
electric bell had not died away when the
door was opened aud an angelic blonde.
Attired In light blue evening dress, ap-
peared on the threshold.
"Why, good evening Reginald. How
you surprised me.
"Did Lotty2 thought It was under
stood that was to call this evening, he
replied
"Ob, know you said you would come,
but II is so late and came to the con
clusion that there was burlesque troupe
In town, OF something OF that kind. But
come In dear, you will catch cold.
Where did you spend last EVENING""
81 was at prayer meeting on the West
Side. was called out by the sexton be-
fore the service ended. he told me a man
wanted to see me.
"Did the man see your"
"Yes. dear; he saw me and went me
one better. had to drop out" ="
"Oh, see. he looked at you twice,
and you left because you conld not feel
comfortable under his persistent stare. '
Exsctly-exactly
Come into the parlor. have a new
song want you to hear. IL has never
been sung over here Only ten OF the
girls In the square have It, II is called
Tara -ra- boom de -sy.' It is very
pretty thing. Ma says she likes II better
than The Picture That Is Turned
Toward the Wall. Have you heard it?1
NO." he replied; "a song called
Comrades is all he rage over our way.
AS left home heard sister humping
the entrails out Of our piano. II she
isn't more careful with that instrument
she and the ins.allment house agent will
be comrades
Miss X. Wood sang Der new song, and
Reginald was completely carried away
with IL. He said he would buy the soup
for his sister II he could get it for
cents.
The East Side girl left the piano and
took seat on the sofa. Reginald ran ia
her side like lap wing. After skirmish.
ing for some time he took her hand and
said:
Dearest, the last time l was here yot
told me you would give me your answer
What Is it TO be-yes or no2"
"Reggy," she answeied, toying will
her ostrich plume fan, my answer mus
be q conditional one / spoke to fathel
about you and he will not give his con
sent to our marriage until you do certain
things
Il will gladly do anything, darling.
would die for you I" he cried.
"Oh, don't do that. she answered, hei
vanity tickled by his declaration.
II won't won't" he said In a re
lisvsd tone, "But name your conditions
Let me know the worst.
I'm the first place you must stop wear
ing your silk hat and buy q Derby in
stead.
1T is fearful sacrifice, but suppose
| must submit.
"Pa further says that he Is afrsid yoJ
will strain the Observation-Disclosures o
the posterior cuticle Of the humsrus
carrying that buckhorn cane. He furthe
, asserts that Il might affect the prope
, functions Of the radius and ulns, ter
, minating In ossihcation of the lumbs
! vertebre, which would impart an abnor
NAL rigidity to the framework Of you
a anatomical structure"
1 4 I u l..s
no idea was running such q risk
will never again carry anything heavie
E than a rattan"
"9e thinks that collar you wear is en-
4 tirely too high for your personal safety
r He told me TO tell you II was a grea
. help to the cervical vertebre, but ex
. ceedingly trying to the hammer, anv
and stirrup. OF '-the ear structure.
depresses the junction OF the thoracl
duct with the left subclRvian vein, {
say nothing Of the permanent injury
: may infict upon the epiglottis, uvuli
eustacbian tube, by reason Of your cola
: being so high that you are unable to tai
over T.. !"
: Reginald grew pale, but did not sa
anything Slowly and sadly he too
that beloved collar of and threw it int
the street, where IL was quickly col
iscated by a next door neighbor VIII
! wanted an ash pail.
a 81 viii not grlevs you much more. m
dear boy. Papa and mamma both thin
that those sharp-toed patent-leaths
I, shoes are relics of barbarism. Ma tol
me to tell you that In the heat Of sun
mer they would, cause the teadon {
Achilles to contract to a painful degre,
"a and malformation Of the fbula, tibii
4 tarsal, meCarssl, phalanges, astregalu
u bones, causing distress to the epidermi
q Take them OF, darling, take them of
4 He did, and threw them back Of IL
piano with such force that this prospe,
tive motLerin-law rushed upstairs to 81
II any Of the children had fallen out
n bed.
q Uncle Ned complained to pa thI
" those light gloves would cause decay
n the carpal and metacarpal bones and col
c tract the tendons on the larboard sid
two points abaft the weather beam
would not have that happen for anything
l feel dresdfully jealous Of those glow
u - squeezing your hands so. Promise m
'o love"
He promised.
what a dear, darling Reginald yC
are am almost done Only one mo
complaint and then you may call me yol
b, oSn Pa objects to those long pan
- you wear. turned up two or three inch
- at the bottom. He says the ext
4 weight might cause your suspenders