Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-01-27
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
"a mans deeds live after him.
So do his mortgages.-Columbus Post
1t is natural for a fellow to boil
when he gets fired.-Binghamtol
Republican.
The man who ought the most easi
ly get upa drive in his business is tn
stablekeeper.-Lowell Courier.
The Speaker of the House is i
deadly peril when every member o.
the floor wants to get his eye.-Pica
yune.
ats biting wind" said Slither'
"Yes" replied Slathers, 81 know it is
l was right in the teeth of the gale.
Washington Star.
Reveal not to a friend every secre
that you possess, for how can you tel
but what he may some time or other
be your enemy.-Ex.
Grave stones do not mention th'
fact, but there have been men whose
dying was the only good thing accom-
plished by them.-Ex.
Fogetful. Guest-"Waiter, yol
forgot yourself" Waiter (grumpily,
-"Well, that is because you never
remember me" New York Herald.
81 am welded to art" said Farley
"Well," said Criticus. gazing al
Parley's picture, "I'd get divorce i
l were you. She has deserted YOU
Brooklyn Life.
A Volume in Word. Friend
"What became of that young man
you were engaged to last summer ?
Miss Catchem (innocently)-"Whicf
one ?"-New York Weekly.
Uncle-"yhat is your favorite dish
Karlchen ?" Karlchen-"Suet dump
Inns; for they always make me so il
that l can't 60 to school the day af
ter."-Anekdoten Bibliothek.
$50 you live in Chicago ?"
EYES,"
"Are you interested in the fair ?"
"Yor bet! Pm engaged to three
of 'em at present" Cape Cod Item.
81 have always had the idea," be
gan Freddy, but the young lady look
ed at him with such evident surpris'
and incredulity that he forgot wha
he was going to say and stopped.-Ex
Tillinghast Cat the concert)--"l
wish that idiot next to you would qui
beating time with his foot"
Gildersleeve-"He can't help it
He has music in his sole. Free Press
Editor-"Well, sir, did you inter
view that woman as l directed ?"
Reporter-"I saw her but she re
fused to talk"
Editor (startled)-"Was she.deadl'
-Ex.
A dog kennel should be built will
the bark on and be lighted by bay
window.-Lowell Courier. 1t should
also have a growlery and goot
whine cellar.-Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
Clara-"Papa, the jeweler charged
you only $500 for the new watch
bought this afternoon"
Doting Father-"Now know wha
allied the poet when he wrote tha
serve about golden moments. ."-Ex.
Winterbloom-"I want you to Sc,
my babies" Featherstone-"Al
right. l should like to very much
When shall l Gomez" Winterbloon
-"Come around about / o'clock in
the morning. They are liveliest
en."-Harper's Bazaar.
Grimshaw-"He married woman
who couldn't cook"
Glazebrook-"No wonder. She
was blue-stocking."
Crimshaw-"That's so. She wrote
a whole lot of cookery books. Mum
sey's Weekly.
Lady of house Ito Irish servant)-
Bridget, this is altogether to much
you haye a new follower in this kitch'
en- every week." Bridget-"Well,
ma'am, ye see, the food of this house
is so bad that nobody'll come here
for longer than week p'-Tid-Bits.
eyes, "said the proud mother, "Char
lie can read well and is a good writ
er."
"An' l write all my own excuses y
said Charlie, proudly, and the look be
received from his mother told him
he had put his foot into it.-Lima
Times.