davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

THE telegraph operator who face
tiously ordered strike on the Santa
Fe system by way of practical Joke
has too much sense of humor to do
routine Office work. He ought to
write farce-comedies or go upon the
lecture platform.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

A New YORK dentist has been
sued for pulling the wrong tooth, and,
what is more, the patient refuses to
pay for the molar which was ex-
tracted, though the job was well and
speedily done. Dentists must arrange
a pull with the courts.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

IT is the great art and philosophy
OF life to make the best Of the pres
emit, whether it be good or bad-to
bear the one with resignation and
patience, and to enjoy the other with
thankfulness and moderation.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

The English papers persist in
doubling whether the, discovery of
America by Columbus was of any
special benefit to Great Britain. She
has had some rather discouraglng eX-
periences with the powerful young
nation that sprang up on this side OF
the Atlantic, but she alone is respon
slble for that, and it is anything bur
complimentary to the British posses
sions in America to raise such ques-
tion as that suggested. Even If En-
gland be disappointed, the world has
proAted beyond computation, and
this should soften the regrets Of the
mother country.
1T is widely undeTSt60d In Rome
that concurrently with the unwilling
of his monument facing the Vatican
it will be announced that Columbus
has been beatifled. In other words,
it is 10 be made the occasion OF stat
ing that the church has placed the
distinguished discoverer on its roll of
saints. or course this action will
form a complete answer to the charges
made by some calumniators to the
effect that Columbus was pirate, a
lewd person, and otherwise objec-
tionable from moral point of view.
None of these allegations will in fu-
ture be credited by good Catholics,
and 1t may be just rs well for Pro-
testants to drop them as not
proven. Columbus was grand
man as well as one who did
a grand work, and it is not well
to listen to those detractors who
would pick holes in the character OF
him who led the way across the At
lantic, which has been traversed by
many millions since his day and TO
great advantage Of most Of them.
1t may be remarked that this action
of the church is none the less well
come because it is doing tardy justice
to the memory of Columbus, 1t is
understood to be rule of the church
that no one shall be elevated to the
list OF saints till fifty years after his
or her death, but nearly eight times
shat minimum interval will have
elapsed before his claims to saintshir
are recognized by Rome.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

COMMON SENSE is science exactly so
far as it fulfills the ideal of common
sense; that is, sees facts as they are,
OF at any rate without the distortion
Of prejudice, and reasons from them
In accordance with the dictates of
sound Judgment
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

EMMETT DALTON, bandit, wounded
70 death, comes, and first being duly
sworn, deposes and says that he is a
cousin Of the YounRers. Then comes
Cole Younger in all the dignity OF a
llfc-tlmer and declares that Emmett
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

taking advantage of the cholera
plague where it exists, and the scare
where the scourge is dreaded, to urge
their method Of disposing of the dead
because of the thoroughness with
which it destroys disease germs of
every kind.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

CoLUMBUs got cheated out OF the
honor of fixing his name to the conti-
nent, but all the same the four hum
dredth anniversary does him full JUS
tice. 1t is Christopher Columbus
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

THE Isle Of Manlhas granted the
right Of suffrage to women. II there
was an Isle OF Women would 1t do
likewise TO man9
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

MONEY makes the mare go, bnt
she never went her best until pneu-
matic tires aud ball-bearings came
into USE.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

VENEzuELA's latest revolution has
run its course, and not one-third Of
those engaged In 1t can tell what 1t
was all about.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

Is wasting his last breath in claiming
unmerlted honors. IL seems that a
Wise bandit does not necessarily know
his own cousin.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
ADVANTAGE FOR ONE.

She-Well, if can't live on my in
come, and you can't live on yours, where
would be the advantage in our marry
ing2
He (thoughtfully)--Well, by putting
our incomes together one of us would DO
able to live, at any rate.--lLife.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

THERE are men with natures so
small that, If there is anything in
transmigratlon, they viii probably
appear as microbes.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

tic standpoint the design is perfect
in its details, and taken as a whole
the effect will be striking and essen
TALLY pleasing both to the artist and
| laYman.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

II all the published rules for avoid
ing the cholera were boiled down to-
gether the essence would be some
thing like this: Don't be hog.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
ALL SHE NEEDED.

600 you own heartl" he cried, Wild
", brushing the dust from his knees.
eyes" she replied, blushing, IL have
rom's.n -.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
MICHIGAN STATE NEWS
OCCURRENCES DURING THE
PAST WEEK.

Michigan License May Ne Revoksd-His
Arm sawed On-Presented bust OF
John j. BagIey-- Condition OF the state
Banks.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

DocToRs' bills are often saved by
reading advertisements. yit. Read
the announcements OF advertisers up
ON each page of this paper. +
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
bNtTA@


Mrs. Trotter-1'm sorry you don't like
Ibis cake. The cook books say that 1t is
anti-dyspeptic.
Mr.. Trotter-I don't doubt il. my
dear, but I'm willing to live and risk the
dyspepsia, ~
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
TWO POINTS OF VIEW.

81 wish you'd tell me how to get ont
of debit said man who was depressed.
"Humph" replied the citizen, who
hasn't any credit to speak of. IL wish
you'd tell me how to get into debt"
Washington Star.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
rHRoJ0KER's BUDGET
TESTS AND YARNS By FUNNY MEN
or THE PRESS.

All She Needed Brutal--Proph
Eased ON Hlstory-Not Tailor Made
Etc, Etc. II.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

sake. She sees me patting him gently %
TIC head. but the doesn't know that a.
the same time am kicking him under
the table,
ABARoN's woorNc.
Bankcr-So YOU want to marry my
daughter, Barong Well, all can say Is
that / will not consent to her marriage
with any man who is not free from ueu.'
Baron-You are quite right, sir, and.
II / am assured Of your sanction on those
conditions, am quite ready towait until
am free from debt. 1854
Banker Really In that case my young
est daughter will Just suit you. she Is
three years old and can wait several years
for you. 5th ba1t
u 1T TOO TEMPTING.
Grace-How did Mrs. Duton manage
to have so many men at her teal
Rosslie-Oh, she had the wine list
printed on the back of the cards she sent
out. e~ s4e M
FOUND USE FOR THE BABY.
Little Dot-Ma, may take the baby
out in my dolls carriageY
Mamma-W Why. what fors
Little Dot Susie Sniff has new doll
at shuts its eyes an cries "Wah, wah.
Pm dom TO betend the baby is doll
| and let her hear him cry. Then dess
she'll stop putin on airs Boston
Globe.
RELATIVE EXPENSE.
A certain minister, not thousand
| miles from here, loves a dollar with
close affection. Not long ago young
man asked him how much he would
charge to marry couple.
] "Well," said the preacher, "the bride
groom pays what he pleases, but i never
charge less than $40"
"Whew!" exclaimed the prospective
bridegroom, "that's good lot OF money
l thought that kind of work went IL
with your regular salary"
'Oh, no." explained the minister
salvation is free, but it costs money x
get married. - Detroit Free Press.
SUBTLE SCHEME.
'sAIiss Wickerstaff seems to be partic
ularly popular among the young fellow
of twenty or thereabouts.
eyes. She has way of talking t.
them about young men, Indian
apolis Journal.
AN EXPLANATION.
"Do you believe that knowledge |
powcr!"
III do"
"That explains then why dudes are $
frail."
TOO MUCH STRAIN on THE STOMACH.
"sophtie is badly troubled with dys
pcpsia."
That's because he is so gullible."
"What has that to do with it'll"
+ she swallows everything"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
THE OTHER SIDE.

He-I suppose his marrying you de-
ponds on what your father finds out
about him?
She--Well, partially-and partially
about what he finds out about papa.
Fortunately, papa has the advantage OF
experience.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
PROPHECY BASED or HISTORY.

"Well, wonder what will be the SEN
sation of the weeks" queried the tele-
graph editor.
IF may he permitted TO speak, !" VEN
tured the horse editor cit is likely that
the sensation of the weak will continue
to be that tired feeling. - indianapolis
Journal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
1T TURNED OUT ALL RIGHT.

When love in his heart had taken root,
And his brain was in whirl,
And he went at night to press his suit,
He also pressed the girl.
She at the action took no offense,
For she knew that more was meant;
In fact she thought him man of sense,
And at once gave her consent.
New York Press.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
RELATIVE EXPENSE.
A SUBTLE SCHEME.

'sMiss Wickerstaff seems to be partic-
uarly popular among the young fellows
of twenty or thereabouts.
eyes. She has way of talking te
them about young men, Indian
apolis Journal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
A FRANK CHILD.

Little Kate on being introduced 60 IN
elderly maiden aunt, whom she has never
seen before, innocently exclaims: "Oh,
auntie, how very ugly you arew
Being reprimandedby her motlser, who
bids her apologize and say that abe is
sorry, the child turns to her aunt and
says seriously: "Oh, auntie, l beg your
pardon, and indeed 1 am very sorry that
you are awful ugly"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

sake She sees me patting him gently o.
the head, but fhe doesn't know that a.
the same time l am kicking him under
the table,
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
DIDN'T WANT THE EARTH.

She-Ma says am her own darling.
She will think you want the earth when
you ask her for me.
He-But don't. only want Mara
darling.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

Felicia Joy--Don't you think 1 lcok
plump in this gown9 :,
Nina Anne Pussley-Yes, indeed
Where did you get it made--at an mp
holsterer's2
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

JUDeE A.. C. BALDWIN AND WIFE OF
Pontiac celebrated their golden we'd
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10

Happy Bachelor-W Well. old fellow,
and what have you called the KIDD
Unhappy Benedict--What haven't
called it, you mean, old man. didn't
know had such an extensive stock OF
auathemas in my vocabulary Ally
Slopir.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-10
TINE DOC Must DE PUZZLED.

81 don't see how you can treat your
landlady's ugly dog so kindly when he
sticks his nose into your plate at din
ner."
ooh. l merely do it for appearances
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13
Valuable Real Estate
FOR SALE.

offer for sale, for Mrs. Reid. the following
property in the First addition to Lexington,
Missouri, in the very heart of the city.
Her residence Oh the northwest corner of
block As, two squares west of the court house,
fronting 100 feet on Main st~reet-dwelling OF
brick, two stories high, one of the best built
buildings in the city, large, commodious, sup
erage and every modern convenience, all in
perfect order.
Three store buildings and grounds east of
and adjoining the residence
The mammoth Livery Stable in the same
block, In good repair, fronting on Ninth street
and Franklin avenue.
The double business building in block AZ, on
Ninth street, opposite said livery stable.
Lot ,, in block 81, on Main street, opposite
the Commercial hotel.
Also, the following lands in Lafayette
county:
Columbus road, u mile and a-haif south OF
Lexington.
!. The Ryland Tract, of 80 acres, adjoining The
Fair Ground Tract. These two tracts are III
grass, well supplied with water; dwelling on
About 10 acres on the river, 3 miles above
Lexington; dwelling ana u good apple
The undivided half interest in over 500
acres ON the bluff and In the bottom around
Myrfck. one mile above Lexington, about nan
in cultivation, balance in pasture, ON winch
are three dwellings.
The undivided One-third interest IN eighty
acres of farming land about three miles norm
east of Aullville. ,
The above is very valuable property, and
will be sold at u bargain on terms TO suit pur-
"' GEORGE NJ. CATRON,
s-l3-4t Lexington, Mo.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13
PERSONAL.

Sam Stump has returned home after a
visit at st. Joseph.
Mr.. 8. p. Layne, of Kirksville, wa here
this week visiting Miss Ada Harlan.
Miss 8. Bailey, of Rogers, Ark, is the
guest of Mrs. Bessie Cook, this week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Homer Wilson, of Waco,
Texas, are the guests of relatives in this
city.
Miss Annie Mountjoy, left Thursday
for st. Louis where she will spend her
vacation.
Mrs. Mary Hollis is visiting her daugh-
ter, Mrs. Il. 8. Bach, at Colorado Springs,
Colorado.
Miss Daisy Powell returned Wednesday
from a three weeks visit with relatives in
Richmond.
Miss Mamie Helery, of st. Louis, is the
guest Of the Misses Marshall, at their SUI
burban home.
Mr.. Horace Bolton returned Tuesday
evening from o weeks visit to friends in
Kansas City.
Miss Kate Stone arrived here Monday
evening to spend a few weeks with friends
and relatives.
Miss Ada Harlan, of KirksvilIe, is the
guest OF Miss Gertrude Mexican, of Sew
enteenth street.
Mr.. Bob. Flynt, of st. Louis, has been
here several days visiting his mother,
sisters and brother.
Miss Allie Eagle returned from a five
weeks visit with relatives at Trenton and
vicinity, Saturday.
Miss Lula B. Miller, is visiting her
sister Mrs. ]. 8. Shamell, of Corder neigh
orhood this week.
Miss Aileen Rothrock, the stenographer,
has returned from a months vacation and
visit at Washington, ID. c.
y uT:,l ua;lar aod win DaDlon Loft 70 dow
for e ten days visit to Chicago, Milwaukee,
Niagara Falls and the lakes.
MIR. and Mrs. T.. G: Loomis aud Miss
Bessie Standish, went to Kansas City
Monday afternoon, returning the next
day.
Mrs. j.. B. Silver and daughter, Miss
Mary, who have been visiting relatives in
Washington and other cities, returned
home Sunday morning.
Miss Louise Keller, of Independence,
Mrs. Augusta DeNeuve, and Mr.. and
Mrs. II. Scott, of Kansas City, were in at
tendance upon the funeral of Mr.. M. E.
Keller.
Mr.. Robt. Tanner, of ireland, who has
been studying American farming with
Capt. r. Todhunter, near Dover, left Mon
day for Marshall county Minnesota, for
the benefit of his health.
Mr.. Sewer and daughter, Miss Annie,
Miss Nellie Trigg, John Hughes and
George Sewer, of Richmond, passed
through this city Monday, en- route home
from a weeks stay at Sweet Springs.
Misses Annie and Katie Brown, who
nave been visiting the family of Andy
Tucker, returned Friday to their home in
Lexington. They were accompanied by
Miss Bertha Longsdon.-(Marshall News.
Misses Belle Gordon and Rebekah Field
entertained Misses Annie Ireland, Virgie
Wilson, Locke Arnold, Eugenia Davis,
Matte Bayse, Mary Rulings, Mamie An
drew, Fannie Kincaide, Nellie Edmonds
and Pearl Reeder, at the home OF the lat
ter Tuesday afternoon.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13

From three until five O'Clock Wednes-
day afternoon the hospitable home of Mrs.
Mountioy was thrown open to a few of
her lady friends. Mrs. Mountjoy was as
sisted by her charming daughter. Those
present were Mrs. Ben Gordon, Nevada;
Mesdames 1. W. Boulware and w. h.
Jameson, Fulton; Miss Ollie Barnhart,
Kansas City; Mrs. j. b. Mountjoy, st.
Louis; Mesdames E. Chanslor, j.. II.
Moorehead, Chapman b. R.Ireland, Frank
and Ed. Bowman. The luncheon remind
ed the delighted guests of the fact:
1--WE may live without poetry, music and
art;
we may live without conscience, and live
without heart;
we may live without friends; we may live
without books;
But civilized man cannot live without
cooks"
A GUEST.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13
THE FAIR.
President Walker Calls the Attention
OF Every Citizen to the Neces-
sity OF Taking II Personal
Interest.

To the Citizens of Lafayette County, Mo:
Ten years ago when | was II citizen
among you, and found you had no
county fair, | among others helped to
get up an association and Il ground nj
Higginsville, the most central point in
the county. You know its history; it
failed for the want of your patronage,
not because the association did not do
its whole duty, and so far as ii could,
without your heip and support give
good exhibits.
When the ground was sold last year,
a set of men who love their county and
its best interests more han their own
sordid interests, bought the ground and
organized a new association and elected
a new board, who have gone on and
perfected arrangements to hold a four
days fair, beginning August oath,
which, so far rs now indicated will
nave more itira,;,ou Shan any former
fair ever held here.
On the first day wednesday, we
will have some of the best races and
other attractions of the far; although
every day will be equally good. On
this day every woman in the county
or from any other county in this or any
other state, is especially invited to
come, and bring all her children under
IA years old, and be IL guests entirely
free of charge.
Now what | want to say especially is
that members of this association are
well known over the county, and are
very much in earnest in wanting it to
be a success so far rs to be self sustain
ing. They do not want or expect a
dividend on their stock, but they have
offered sever thousand dollars prem
iums, and they would like to take in
money enough to pay that and keep up
repairs
Now as a citizen of your county, one
who is thoroughly identified with every
interest in the county, l ask you as a
personal favor to wake up to your in
terest and your county's interest, and
let us come together, and every man,
woman and child in the county make it
a sacred duty to be on hand and do
our whole duty in the matter, and
have no county in this proud state of
ours have a better fair. i am talking
to every citizen of Lafayette county
and / appeal to each one individually
to help. l call on you personally, and
ask it as a personal favor. | ask in
the name of the county's welfare, | ask
it for the benefit of the. state, | ask in
behalf of your young families, for it is
a help to them to see and know what
goes on at such plaees<S | ask it IN
behalf of your wives, who have too few
holidays. | ask it in behalf of your
own tired, overworked bodies, that
need the recreation. May the Lord
help you to see the right and help us
with your presence and support.
STANLEY b. WALKER,
President.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13

Scrub Oak.

Rain is plentiful now.
Most farmers are through threshing
their wheat.
Miss Lizzie, Van Anglen is visiting
friends in Marshall.
Miss Koontz, of Dover, is visiting
at her a%unt's, Mrs. Cooper.
Mr. Benz. Philips, of Higginsville, is
visiting the family of j. L. Louderback.
Mrs. Edward Edwards, OF Portland,
Oregon, is visiting friends in this coun-
ty.
Rev, Mccain, of Corder, will preach
at Scrub Oak the 3rd Sunday in Au-
gust.
Miss Alma Slusher, of Corder, was
visiting her cousin, Pearlie Throw,
this week.
John Welt, of independence, who
has been visiting his uncle, has re-
turned home.
Miss Bessie Webb went to Corder
Thursday, to attend a dinner given by
Miss Bette Corder.
We are glad to say that Will Tod
hunter and his mother, who have been
very sick, are much better.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13
orr REn NEIGYROR

The opposition of Mars last Thurs
day night at midnight attracted uni
versal attention Of the worlds astron-
omers For weeks every telescope in
in the world has been turned upon the
red planet. and as the hour of opposi-
tioa approached, it found scores of
learned astronomers prepared to map
its appearance and report it. ''Is
Mars inhabited'2P is a question that
has called forth the most intent inves-
tlgatio1 and thewhole civilized world
Is taking an interest in the answer.
Several years ago, the astronomer
Sie;nor SchIaparella of Italy, made a
ns observation and declared that GER
tain dafk lines upon Mars face were ca
nah 1fiFzter. Other astronomers boubt-
ed ibis, and that point remains unsettled,
though Signor s. still insists that they
are and that his observation of last
Thursday confirms his belief. If these
lines are canals, say the scientists, they
are proof that Mars is inhabited. One
astronomer claims to have discovered
three brilliant lights, and believe they
are electric signal lights-efforts OF
Mars scientists to secure correspond
enoe with men on the earth.
One unfortunate incident of the late
observation was that Mars was very
low in the southern horizon at the
hour of its opposition, making it neces
sary for all observation in this or high
er ATTITUDES to be taken through thous
ands OF miles of wavering, uncertain
atmosphere. Still, much interesting
and important data were secured, anc
when the manifest of observation il
made up the world will know a goot
deal more about Mars than ever before.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1892-08-13
TO HOLDERS
Lafayette County, Mo.
OFFICE OF JAMES X. DILLARD,

OFFICE OF JAMES X. DILLARD, )
TREASURER OF LAFAYETTE COUNTY.
MISSOURI, LEXINGTON, Aug. d, 1892. \
Notice is hereby given that bond numbered
2e, bearing date March 5, 1888, bonds number
ed Al, 40, Az, At, AZ, 40, 90, of denominations of
SiO9 each, bearing date October 6, 1881, issued
by Lafayette county, state of Missouri, in be-
half OF Washington township; bonds number
ed 81, 81, bt airing date May ., 1883, and bond
numbered 80, bearing date August Il, 1885, of
denomlnation of 81 900 each, bonds numbered
Il, 2s, bearing date February 9, 1888, bond
numbered q, bearing date May y, 1851, bonds
numbered "a, Is, 26, u, bearing date August d,
1883, bond numbered p, bearing daIe August
:, 1883, and bond numbered %, bearing datc
November 8, lss3, and bond numbered ", bear
ing date August 3, lSs5, of denomination OF
800 each, issued by Lafayette county, state OF
Missouri, in behalf of Lexington township;
bond numbered 3, bearing date November "A,
lsS2, OF denomination of $1,000, issued 10y La
fayette county, state of Missouri, i'll behalf of
Freedom township; bonds numbered -, 20. "a,
rs. T6. y, 10, bearing date February 3, lsSB, and
10 ana SO. Eearing date March 3, 1883, of de-
nomination of $lO0 each, issued by Lafayette
county, state OF Missouri, in behalf of Middle
ton township. All of said bonds have been
declared due by the county court of Lafayette
county, and subject TO redemption, and that
said bonds will be redeemed the 18th day of
Septenber, 1892, after which date the interest
will cease and for that purpose may be pres
ented ut the office of the county treasurer of
said county for payment in cash.
j. II. DILLARD,
S-6-td County Treasurer.