Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-10-13
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes aud Jokeiets that Are Supposed to
Have Boon Recently Born Sayings and
DoinEs that Are Od2. Curious and
Laughable.
Sprlnkles of Spice.

A CAMPAIGN lie may be nailed, but
caucuses are bolted. -Somerville Jour-
nal.
AN exploded theory-I didn't
know it was loaded Union County
Standard.
IN the nature Of things two lovers
must fall in love before they can fall
out.-Dallas News.
The sculptor isn't the kind of man
that cuts no figure in the world
Binghamton Leader.
A MANS idea of practicing economy
is to preach it three times a day to
his wife. -Atchison Globe.
"ANoTHER cherished link gone"
said the young man who lost his cuff
button. Washington Star.
SOFT gloves are worn by pugilists
to prevent hard feeling in friendly
fight. New Orleans Picayune.
JAGsoN says there are lots Of men
who start for heaven too late to get
past quarantine. -Elmira Gazette.
THE man who is stuck on himself
is one who backed his judgment and
bet on the wrong man. -Picayune.
THE man who has something
which can beat Nancy Hanks" wants
to trot it out. Yonkers Statesman.
IT is a queer thing that after girl
has consented to fly with man she
usually has to walk.-Christian
Union.
WHEN wife hears dull thud on
the doorstep she knows that the
lodge has adjourned. -Binghamton
Republican,.
A POLITE tramp: Judge-"What
is your name?" Tramp-"Allow me
to exchange cards with your Honor.
Texas Siftings.
FATHER-No appetite this evening,
eh? What is the matter? Late
lunch? Little boy-No, sir. Early
apples. Good News.
THERE isn't much lifting power to
your religion il it doesn't make, you
do your best to pay 100 cents on the
dollar RAMS Horn.
THEY have, potato socials" in Kan
sas The name may be from the fact
that the young people go there to
pare. Texas Siftings.
"OH, dry up" as autumn said to the
leaf I'm not as green as / was,
replied the leaf, $50 I'll take your adj
vice." Texas Siftings.
POINTING at the caudal appendage
of the hand-organ monkey, Quibble
remarked: "The tail of wayside
din. Boston Transcript.
WHEN the devil sees church mem
bers wrangling with one another he
knows it will be safe for him to sit
down and Restraints Horn.
Jack told me last night that he
had given me his healt." well, it's
damaged goods. He told me last
week that | had broken it."-Life.
THE corn-salve that is not pure
preventive of cholera is made by Il
man who doesn't understand the art
of advertising. -Binghamton Repub-
lican.
THOSE who would read Natures
omen book in meadow and woods have
an extra facility at present. She is
herself turning the leaves.-Phila-
delphi Ledger.
THE first is called the index finger,
but when man takes three or SO it's
an index of his opinion that the sea-
son has grown too cold for beer
Philadelphia Times.
CoRBETT has sold the right to a
whisky firm to name a new brand
after him. No doubt it will be u
good liquor to make strong punches
with. Philadelphia Record.
Mr.. TooTHANDNAIL-"I can't imag-
ine what we ever got married for;
we're totally different at every single
point" Mrs. Toothandnail-"Oh,
you flatterer. Boston Courier.
SoN--Pa!" Father-"Well?' as
a vessel boat?" yes" "Pa"
What is it?" what kind Of boat
is blood-yessel?' Its life boat
Now run away to bed. It'd Bits.
allow DID they like you in Scrag-
gleville?" asked one actor of another
avery much, indeed, it appeared. 1t
lord to let me leave. Washington
Star.
THERE is a great difference be-
tween military engagements and love
engagements. In one there's good
of falling in, and in the other there's
a good deal of failing out. Yonkers
Statesman.
81 SEE that O'Grogan has got him a
coat OF arms since he was app'inted
dep'ty sheriff. 1.-The dirty aristo-
crat! Vance he was glad enough to
90 out in his shirt sleeves wild the rest
of us. Chicago News.
lyon KANT alias jedge a mans
achievements, said Uncle Eben, "by
de mount OBJ noise he makes erbout
lem. De cannon amt maxim er
SCUM now, but de bass drum am jes'
ez talkatiye as eber. "-Washington