Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-12-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Parts Of speech-Hyphens.-Truth.
Goes through without change-The
shopper.-Puck.
The indispensable servant is master of
the situation. Judge.
Clothes may not make the man, but
suits make the lawyer.-Elmi-a Gazette.
Fame is a bright robe; but it soon
wears out at the elbows. Rams Horn.
"Early to bed and early to rise'
Makes Of man what most people despise.
Judge.
When one woman praises another,
folks think she is sarcastic. Rams
Horn.
What is done cannot be undoue, especi-
ally if it is hard-boiled egg.-Texas
Siftings.
Success shows off our good qualities;
lack of success shows off our defects
Texas Siftings.
man has TO be pulled up we'll be-
fore he can blow his own horn with
proper vigor.-Puck.
The sign painter may make dollar
while the steeple-painter is making
ascent.-Boston Courier.
If you want to get ahead in the world,
don't lie abed in the morning thinking
about it.-Atchison Globe.
A great many gentlemen of the old
school" do not seem quite to have in-
ished their ducation.-Puck.
It is noticeable that little man is
always very mild in his testimony against
a big man in court.-Atchson Glob.
It's a queer thing, but the course of
true love runs all the smoother the more
| it is studded with rocks.-Southron.
Had Her There: Mistress -"You're
the biggest fool ever knew" Maid
NYou forget yourself, ma'am. Judge.
Every man who gets whipped for
sin complains that other people have
done more and been whipped less
Atchison Globe.
s'I think Charles the First was crazy"
said Professor Bungleton. "He certainly
lost his head" observed Professor Sin.
gleberry.-Southron.
1t does not follow that all women are
purseproud simply because they invari-
ably carry their pocket-books in their
hands.-Boston Transcript.
Notwithstanding the precautions taken
! by attendants at circus tent to swell
the treasury, the rain will sometimes
beat its way in.-Statesman.
North Side Mother-"Oscar, why
can't you be a good boy2" Hayward
| Four Year Old Mamma, it makes me
so tired !"-Chicago Tribune.
"That is Miss Sharp singing. Her
father IS having her voice cultivated. !"
"You can easily tell that "How2"
SITS narrowing. Cape Cod Item.
! A London woman advocates the use of
dynamite in securing "women's rights.
This is Carrying disposition to blow
| the men up to an extreme. Washington
| Star.
-"Mamma, Geordie's swallowed
quarter an he's chokin'!" tOh, my
child, why did you do its Now
haven't enough for car fare. Chicago
News.
| Priscilla-"But don't you think it's
| girls duty to ask the consent of her
parents2" Prunelia-"Oh, yes; unless
she thinks they won't grant it."-New
York Herald.
Lightning never strike twice IN the
same place." they say. "No2" mo" !"
swell, how do you account for it1"
"Must be manipulated by woman, !
suppose. Chicago Tribune.
"Smiggins appears to grow more
stupid every day." "Yes. Somebody
told him that little knowledge is
dangerous thing, and he is trying to
forget all he knows. Washington Star.
When the city man on farm begins
to talk at the breakfast table about
"speckled beauties" he wants to make it
plain at the very start that he doesn't
mean the horny handed farmers daugh-
ters.-Somerville Journal.
''Now, wife, you have again given mo
too much tea. l asked you for a cup
half full. Don't you know what half
full isl" "Well, John, ought to. You
have endeavored to illustrate many times
what it means. Buffalo Enquirer.
"What sight you arel' "Just as 1
was leaving the house to come to the
club my wife pelted me with flowers"
"But that doesn't account for your
bruised and battered appearance. "You
see, she forgot to take them out OF the
pots. ."-Fliegende Blaetter.