Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-11-30
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

DEr1N1rE.aIrate CaIler-"Is the edi-
tor IMP" Office Boy--"No." Caller
"How soon will he come in?" Office
Boy-"As soon as you go out. "-Puck
PHoToGRAPHER-'D like your pic
ture Why, you couldn't have better
likeness" Sitter-"That's just what's
the matter, confound it ~ = Boston
Transcript.
fessor, just think, l have swallowed a
pin ~ Absent-minded Professor
Never mind, here is another one. p
FHegende BI8tter.
In THE BoxEs.--Fortescu are
ing grand opera this winter, but it will
probably be all talk" Bilyardcue-
THAT'S what it was last winter. -
Puck
On THE GRAND ToUR.-Stranger-
what is the fare to Interlaken ?'
Driver-"Twenty francs" Stranger
"But Bladeker s'ys only II francs. !"
Driver-"Oh, we'll, then let Badeker
drive you himself" -Bnsler Nachrjchtera.
THE court had sentenced him to six
years in the penitentiary at hard labor
for the crime of having three more
wives than the law allows. "Think OF
the sorrow, Judge" exclaimed the
prisoner, deeply moved. that this will
bring to four estimable families. "-Cti
cage Tribune.
DEACON Skipps, the CASH
Ter of the Onderdonk County Bank,
ran away last night. They say he has
been robbing the bank for more than a
have known that he was living beyond
his means. Why, Josiah, his folks act
ually used to sit in their parlor every
night p'-Life
WHEN ones wife follows him out to
the hatrack with her hand on his shout
der he inquiries lnvoluntarily, "How
much do you want, my dear ?"-DdlL0s
NeUs.
WILLIAM-"Father, what becomes of
the crows during the winter season ?"
Father-"I have been told they 90
South to look after the lost caws. "-ROch-
ester Democrat.
"YoU'RE the sleepiest-looking indi-
vidual l ever saw" said Dick to the
seedy man on the corner. Eyes, even
my coat hasn't had nap in some
time" quoth ne.-BOSt0n Post.
THE EASIEST WAY. -Clerk-"Yo can
call him up On that telephone, if you
wish to talk to him." Stranger-"How
far is he from here ?" Clerk-"About
ten miles" Stranger-"Well, I'd rather
walk. puck.
No NEED FOR HURRY.-M Hastings
(overtaking Miss Slowboy on the way to
church, Hurry, Title, or you'll be
late" "Miss Slowboy-"There is no
hurry. dear. Let me introduce Mr..
Bellows, our organist. PUCK.
A CRUEL INsINUATIoN.-Miss Bond
Bridget, some of my jeweiry
is missing ~ Bridget (who reads the
papers, -''Sure, mum, you will not be
lntimating that it's member of the
English aristocracy that Oh am. "-TeTaS
SJtingS.
MEANS OF SELF-DEsTRUCTIoN.- Morbyd
(member of the Suicide Club)-'I have
selected strychnine." Gluemy (another
member)-"I have decided to use
parallel" GA parallel? What's that ?"
Il don't know, but it's fatal. The
newspapers are always speaking Of the
deadly parallel. "-Puck.
AT THE INTELLIGENCE OFFICE.-Mrs.
Hunter-'I want good girl. and posi-
bly, you might do. Have you had any
experience ?' Domestic Importation
''Ixparience is it? Faith, and haven't
Oh been in no less than twinty families
within month .''-Bost0n Transcript
w hal LIE ObJElIED 4O.-11Is tCDOIU-
weight dealer in coal )-"I want you to
settle tor that ton of coal you got few
days ago. A man has to pay for what
he gets in this world" Customer
You are right. sir. And when he
buys coal he has to pay for a lot he
doesn't get. '-BrookIy'a Life.
IT'S no use for man to try and enjoy
looking at the priceless treasures Of an
art gallery when he has big hole in
the toe of his right stocking, and can
fell it while he is walking around
SomerUiNe Journal.
COLD COMFoRT.-''Wh hats the reason
you didn't speak to Jones when he
passed by?" HE insulted me the
other day" ''What did he say to you ?''
HE called me an old ass "Called
you an old ass How ridiculous
Why, you are not old. "-7erds ,SiftingS.
MEETING HER On HER Own GROUND
Iandlady-"No, this room has no fire,
but the last gentleman always left his
door open, and said it was well-heated
from the hall" Room -hunter-"It
won't do, then. I had friend who
once occupied a room heated from the
hall, and it was so hot he got the brain
fever i" But the landlady had