St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-05-19
OH, WHERE is NOAH !?
A Prophet Says He Will Be
Needed Badly When June
Comes.
DR.. SWinebuPne and His Flood
Theory--What Came
Of 1t.
Art Director H. j. Smith and
His Load OF CuPioSi-
ties.
Interesting Items Cleaned
About the City on a
Wet Day.

A few months ago religious fanatic,
who called himself DIR. sSwineburne,
came to this city from Ashland and
rented rooms in the Flat IrOn' block,
corner Western avenue and Seventh
street. He purported to be possessed OF
the divine powers of healing, and cured
people of all ills by now-yOu-see-lt and
now-yOu don't method. He also did
massage and magnetic rubbingS, and
altogether lie showed himself to
be wonderfully industrious, and
while practicing in his so-called
profession lie took advantage 10 scatter
about seeds of a new religion. He told
select few that he was a prophet, and
had made up his mind that the world
was coming to an end as early as next
June. The world would be drowned
out again, he said. the same as it was
during the trying days of Noah and his
ark. All those who would be saved
must come to him. and be rubb ed
and treated at so much per rub, of
course. In spite of the fact that all per-
sons of common sense would laugh at
the man, and declare his alleged prOph-
ecies all bosh, he found a great many
men and women who believed in his
doctrine. They accordingly made reg
ular visits to his Office and received his
holy rubbingS, feeling that thereby they
were sure of salvation.
When this terrible season of rain first
commenced, DIR. Swineburne said 10 all
his followers:
''Did not prophesy that the world
would come to an end in June? Behold,
this is the beginning of the endW
In the meantime DR.. Swineburne
moved out of his Office OH Western ave-
nue. for some reason and took up his
residence with family vino believed in
him and who live on Eleventh street
north. There he began to hold religious
meetings regularly, and each night
scores of people attended the prophetic
affairs. All the while it kept raining
and raining. From all parts of the
country came news that rivers were
Overlooking their banks and placid lakes
Transforming themselves into angry
seas, 1t certainly did look as though
Swineburne was something of prophet,
and his followers and friends went
almost wild when they considered that
in short time they were to die. The
doctor was, of course. living well all
this time. and while his disciples grew
daily thinner and more heartbrOken.
the latter and sleeker he became. He
seemed to take particular fancy to the
iady of the house where he stopped, and
she apparently reciprocated. The hus-
band was too much wrapped up in get
ting ready for the flood to take any no
tce of the pair, until one day last week,
when he caught them kissing i'll the
parlor.
Naturally. he expressed his surprise,
III, oil
right. inasmuch as prophets were privi-
legged people, and it was part of their
business to kiss mems wives. The hus-
band tried to be satisfied with this eX-
PLANTATION, and. things went on as
smoothly as before. On Monday the
husband went down town to purchase
a lot of life preservers. for the fact that
he had caught Prophet Swineburne
kissing his wife had weakened
his belief in divine assistance
when the flood cane. He returned
TO his house sooner than he or any one
else expected and entered via the kit
chen door. Exactly what he saw in the
| house when lie entered is not known,
| but it is certain that it must have been
| something terrible. for in few mo-
ments he came rushing out like mad
| man. GraSping up an axe that stood in
house, and in q shorter time than it
takes to tell it the front door burst open
and out of it came Prophet Swineburne,
as pale as death and with his
clothing in wild disorder. He did not
wait to see how far the husband was
behind him, but ran up the street as
though pursued by demon. His nat
! fell into the mud. but the prophet was
TOO busy to pick it up. The neighbors
say that there were great goin' ons'' in
the house the rest of that eventful day.
| The husband kept up frightful racket,
| while the wife put in her time Sobbing.
No more flood meetings have been
held in that house, and the chances are
that prophets will not be treated very
civilly should they ever call. Prophet
Swineburne has disappeared, whittier
no one knows. Some of his disciples
still cling to his teachings and are getting
ready to swim 10 paradise in June. 1t
| keeps raining all the time, and there
fore they say that Swineburne knew
what he was talking about when he
prOphesied bona fide flood.