Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-11-17
PITH AND POINT.

When sand gets in machine il
usually stops it from running. 1t is not
30, however, with the political machine.
-Yonkers Statesman.
-Optician-'You have bad case Of
strabismus." Ponsonby-"Didn't think
it was as bad as that; thought only
had squint Circular.
"A Chicago ProposaL-Wabash Nc
Henry-''Mrs. Lakeside-Lobelia-v
you be mine?" Mrs. Lakeside-"How
much alimony do you pay?"-N. Y. Her
aid.
The young man who makes the
same diamond ring serve for his second
engagement may be said to kill two
birds with one stone.-Philadelph
Times.
Sporting Mantle was great pu-
gilist once, but he doesn't amount to
anything any more" Jones-'Has he
lost his strength" Sporting Man-"No;
his ce."-Truth.
Doctor Ito tow-headed urchin)-
allow is your mother. Tommy" Tom
my-''Oh, if you please, sir. she's get
ting very romantic in her right knee,
she says. "-Tit-Bits.
-'Why don't you ask that officer
about the location?" because he is
new on the force" "How do you
knows didn't see him pay for the
peanuts he is eating. "-Inter-Ocean.
-Snubbed.-Clara thinking to make
Ethel envious)-"You can't imagine
how delightfully."- Charlie makes love-"
Ethel-''Oh. yes. can. He used to try
it with me till I snubbed Hmm. Y.
Press.
-Wife-'I am thinking of taking
swimming lessons. What part do you
think will be the hardest for me to
learn, dear?' Husband-"Well, should
think keeping your mouth shut. In
ter-Ocean.
Dear me, Mollier' said papa. "Why
are you beating your dollie SOP"
"'Tause." said Mollie, ''she's naughty.
She said two an two make five, an
when I told her it was six she said I
didn't know muffin. "-Harper's Bazaar.
She Wanted to See it Tried.-He-
''Did you know that diamond will ex-
hibit phosphorescence when it is rubbed
in the darlS?" She-''Indeed. did not.
But if you have brought the ring with
you we can try it. Indianapolis Jour
nal.
at last" said the author to the
sociable man, whom he met on the
train, 81 find some one who has read
my book. EYES," replied the stranger,
81 didn't skip a line. I was proof
reader in the office where it was
printed. "-Washington Star.
"A Trying Admonition.-She (just
after accepting him)-''Don't look SO
tenderly happy. Can't Won manage to
wear some other expression for little
while? Those men over there are
watching us, and if you don't stop,
sha'n't have another proposal this
year."-Princeton Tiger.
"A Good Principle to Go On.-''I'm
sorry 1 can't let you have the two
weeks you want" said Mr.. Dimity to
his bookkeeper, 'but you may have one
week" Every WELL" replied the philo-
sophica1 young man. half loaf is
better than no vacation -Detroit
Free Press.
81 look upon a handsome bonnet as
a dangerous thing" said Mr.. Goodfa-
Their. Glow is that?'' asked a friend.
81 bought my daughter the handsomest
bonnet could find in town short time
ago. and it has not only turned her
head. but it turns the head of every
other woman who walks past tn.
Y. Press.
-"Your husband is troubled with
rheumatism, believe" Eyes"
Haven't you tried to get anything to
help him?' 81 intend to, but I've kept
putting it off. You see, the pains are
so handy in letting us know when
storm is coming on. In fact, John is
more relia BILE than the Farmers Alma.
nae ifSalfn