The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-03-31
WISDOM IN MOTLEY.
A PlQUANT SAUCE FOR THE
FEAST OF REASON.
The Sunshine Of Mirth Bursting
Through the Clouds Of Grav-
ity and Rejecting Every
where Its Sparkle OF
a." Merriment.
Painless Dentistry.

Painless Dentistry.
Many years ago, writes Western
correspondent Of the Youths Com
panion, group of cowboys rode into
the frontier town OF Prairieville, and
while cantering down the principal
village street came to a sign-"P aim
less Dentist" They emptied the con-
tents of their revolvers into it, and
then one of the company dismounted
and announced his intention to 20 i'll
and set sore tooth attended to.
"-And don't pay no fancy price for
it, NEITHER" he muttered, as he walked
noisily into the Office.
The dentist was quiet oking
young man Of twenty-five.
''See here!" shouted the cowboy, as
he advanced toward the chair, II
want tooth fixed, and I don't want
any high-toned prices charged either"
He threw himself into the chair,
hitched his belt around in front of
him, laid his revolver across his lap
and told the dentist that if he hurt
him he would shoot the top of his
head off. ~
every WE'LL" replied the dentist,
with a slight laugh; "then you must
take the gas, for this is bad tooth
and will give trouble" q ..@%
The cowboy swore, but finally yield
ed, land with a parting threat ubmitted
to the respiration, and presently was
insensible.
With great skill the man of the for
cops pulled the tooth, and then. before
his customer regained consciousness,
ne securely tied him hand and foot to
the chair, which WAS firmly screwed
to the floor. Then taking the bully's
revolver out of his belt, the dentist
lookup his position where the patient
could see him when he came to.
AS the cowboy struggled back to
consciousness the first thing of which
he was sensible was the dentist point
ingthe revolver at him, saying in quiet
| tones: -=-
Nov then, don't move. Just open
your mouth as wide as possible, and
[ will shoot the bad tooth off. This
is the painless process. No danger,
sir, unless You happen to swallow the
bullet. Are you ready? Then here
! goes! One, two, three" 49,
Bang! went the revolver, knocking
a hole in the floor under the chair,
and the dentist rushed forward hold
ing out the tooth in his hand to show
the now terrified bully, who roared
for mercy and begged to be released,
thinking that he had fallen into the
hands Of a mailman.
The dentist finally cut his bonds on
condition that his customer should
restore the riddled sign outside the
office. And after paying five dollars
for the extracted tooth, which the
dentist grimly declared to be the
regular price for the painless opera
tlons, the crestfallen cowboy departed,
convinced that appearances are
sometimes deceitful, and that even a
tenderfoot may have nerve.
He Rather Liked the Family.
A good story is told in Missouri at
the expense of it's once famous gov
ernor, Claiborne F. jackson. Before
he solved the enigma of love-lock, he
had married five sisters!-in reason
able lapses of consecutiveness, as a
matter OF decency. After one wife had
been lost and appropriately mourned
he espoused another, and he kept his
counting within a narrow circle of his
own relatives, for he rather liked the
family. Some of his predictions
were widows ere he again transformed
them from Niobes into willing, if not
blushing brides, but it was all one to
the conquering Benedict.
The antiquated father of these
girls was almost deaf, and when the
governor went to this octogenarian
to ask for his surviving daughter
the following conversation en-
sued
II want Lizzie!''
"Eh?"
~ want you to let me have Eliza
BETH"
What for?"
"For my wife!' .-..
"For life?" @
81 want-to-marry-h 49,.
"Oh, yes! Just So! 1 hear you,
boy"
Pm precious glad you do!' mutter-
ed the governor.
"Well," slowly responded the vet
eran, 'you needn't holler so that the
whole neighborhood knows it! Yes;
you can have her. You've got 'em all
now, my lad; but for goodness sake,
if anything happens to that ERE poor,
misguided gal, don't come and ask me
for the old womanp'
jackson solemnly promised that he
never would.
Not Much Better.
If one makes a slip Of the tongue,
through embarrassment or haste, it is
generally best to let it go, rather than
call attention to what might otherwise
been almost unno ticed.