Arizona republican., 1892-06-04
A CAME WHERE THE WINNER LOST.
THOMAS HUGHES,
 Ter. Auditor.

He Won His Gaze. but He Maue Up His Mind That There Was No Fun in It. It makes the man who would rather go to law than go on good old time hay ride mad enough to lose suit, but when he brings suit, wins his case, gets damages and then finds that he is out of pocket fine round sum, he can give the | ordinary man points and discount him besides at the Diogenes game of hating the world. One New Yorker got taste of legal dose the other day which is likely to make him hesitate about using the same prescription again.
 He wanted damages from man who he declared had injured his property He wanted all the damages he could get too. He was earnest enough to insist that the damages ought to be run up in the thousands. Now if he had been con. tented to take his case into a district court this story would probably never have been written. But as he estimated his wrongs not by single, plain, every day ''cart wheel" dollars, but in blocks of 1, 1000 each, he was forced to take his suit into the court of common pleas Everything went swimmingly for his side. His lawyer proved beyond a doubt that the defendant had caused damages to the plaintiffs property. The judge be- lieved it, the jury believed it, in fact the defendant himself and the defendants counsel believed it.
 If ayar tlara Npou ,l,,r ,aga nF damages it was right there in the com mon pleas court. And so the plaintiff got a verdict for forty-nine dollars. But it is one thing to get verdict and another thing to take what goes with it. 1t happened in this case that if the defendant received verdict for less than fifty dollars he was liable for costs. He did not know much about law, and, though he was disappointed at the amount of the damages, he looked tri- umphantly at the other side. He was disgusted to see the calm smile on the face of the defendants lawyer. But moment later there was gnashing of teeth when his counsel told him about the costs.
 "I have to pay the costs, do IY' he snapped.
 "Yes."
 After have won my case l have to pay costs for the other sidei"
 "That is the law"
 "Well, it's mighty nice law that makes the winner lose, aint it? What do you think went to law for? Do you think l wanted to spend money for fun? Do you think after that fellow has spoiled my property want to pay him for doing itI What do you think am, anyway-a muddy brained, cross eyed, half hearted lunatic? How much are the costsI'
 "Three hundred and sixty dollars"
 Three hundred and sixty dollars! win case and get damages and lose $3ll, do F can substract the amount of the damage from the cost and make out check for the balance, can I? Well, l suppose can so long as have to, But l want you to understand that the next time 1 go to law it will be be- cause l ana candidate for a lunatic asylum. The next time have you for a lawyer it will be when I'm the de- fendant in case like this and want to lose.
 Do you hearY he screamed. When want to lose I'll have you, 1 say, so that can come out ahead of the game. And the next time man damages my property I'll invite him to come in and knock the roof off the house. I'll have him use my piano for toboggan on the hall stairs, I'll invite him to play a game of tenpins in my dining room and will use my great-grandmother's tea service for pins, and if he wants to jump through our $500 Japanese screen like a circus rider he can do it.
 "Thcn maybe he'll want me to sue him, so that l can get stuck for costs again. And I'll sue him; oh, yes, I'll sue him!' and he snorted so loudly that the court usher's afternoon nap was dis turbed. New York Tribune
 Preaching and Practice.