New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-11-05
U4lC,S CHESNTTS.

The Ark had been ont of sight of land n
little over three months IL was getting mo-
notonous. How does she head" said Noah
TO Shem, who had just come of watch
"Sou'west by west. little west"
"All right said Noah, as he shifted his quid
and resumed his examination of the chart.
"This ought to be a good day for fishing
said Japhot. eff | only had some bait"
"Spcaking of bait" interrupted Ham, re-
minds me Of the colored man who was fishing
off the dock alongside small cOlorcd boy
when the boy fell overheard The colorcd
man.
"Ham," said Noah, stcrnly, Z" do You know
how Cain escaped being hung for MURDERS
"No; | don remember"
"Well, his defence was that Abel had tried
TO ring in that old story on him. And the
Jury rendered verdict of justiiiablc homicide"
Ham felt the rebulic. There was an awk-
ward pause. Presently there was disturbance
in the cattle department.
sounds to me as if the bull was making
tr,ube,n said Ham "And speaking of bulls
reminds me OF friend of mine who undertook
to tame bull. lie tied a rope round his
waist"
"Yesn interrupted Japhet 81 remember
that story. Tubal Cain set it to music; the
bull belonged to his brother-in-law; you
needn't tell it,"
Ham subsidized again.
"Secms to me, Ham," said Noah looking
up from the chart "that you're kind of an
ass"
fla ha I" said Ham, good naturally, laugh
ing at his own expense. " But that reminds
me Of what a man down in McSopotamia said
to a fellow who was Dragging about his mule.
He said"
"Never mind what he said" interrupted
Shom. eve know all about the mule and the
buzzards and the whole business. Mcthusclah
used TO play marbles in his youth with the man
who made the remark about the buzzards, and
he told the story twice week for $50 years
"Wcll" said Ham, 81 think this is rather
rough on a man who is doing as well aS he
can don't pretend that these stories are
now, but we've been 50 long at sea with no
company but the animals, thought they might
sort Of onivcn us"
There's where you make bleeding error
said Japhet; " these stories are so stale they
need disinfcctants. They arc liable t. breed
disease and get us quaranincd.'
Silence cnsucd for some time At length
Shem said "To-morrow being Friday, sup
pose we shall have fish for breakfast"
Speaking of fish" said Ham, "rcminds me
of farmer friend Of mine who went to hotel
ON his wedding tour and struck Goldfish
cake"
"Mcrcful heavens" cried Noah, rising to
his feet; nave VIC got to listen to these
chestnuts all night? The man who found
something dead in the bread was the prehis
toric man himself. Adam found tho story
written in hieroglyphics in tho anteroom Of a
cave bear Ham, if you don't shut up I'll
throw you out of the Windows
Ham was angry, but he took the hint. Weeks
afterward, as the family were going ashore at
ARAFAT. Noah said liam, where are Won
going TO locate ~
Raising his hand solemnly, Ham answered :.
am going to North America, and | shall
tell those four stories to somebody who will
listen to them if have to wait five Thousand
years"
,-1re enough, liam came up from Georgia
ana told those stories in Tammany Hall Thurs
day night There has always been some Doubt
in theological circles precisely what Noah
"cussed" Ham for. If he told the stories in