The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-12-26
BRIGHT BITS.


THE HARD PARr.-Proprietor-D you let the
lady know 1t was mo trouble to show your
waresl
New Clerk-Yes sir. told her that selling
them was where the rub came in.-Life.
BgReLAR.-Letus ask you one:question.
Ofhcer-Certainly
Burglar-Do you know if your gun is loadede
Officer-No.
Detroit Tribune. T.. -
H1cks-H amfattSr is bound to rise in his pro-
feSsion.
Wicks-At any rate. he's got an excellent
chance; He can't get any lower than he is now,
unless he digs hole in the ground and crawls
into it.-boStofs ITdhscriDt.
MIN1sTzK-so you. go to school, do you,
Bobby - . ~ 49,.
Bobby-Yes. sir.
Minister--Let me hear you spell kitten.
Bobhy-Pm getting too big boy to spell kit
| ten, sir. Try me on cat.-Tid BITS.
He scoRED-A very thin man was once say
| ing hasty things to a very fat one. III were
as fat as you" said he. I'D go and hang my
In the event of my taking your advice"
retorted the fat man. I'D use you Tor a rope :"
| Judy ...r ..-. .,
Mr. sLIMPuRsE-People say that a young
couple can yet along very nicely nowadays on
small income, II the-er-wife is of a practical
Sweet Girl-O, I'm real practical. My favor
lite plano piece is an imitation of a spinning
| wheel.-NeiC York WeekIg.
THAT must have required considerable pre-
liminsry practice said the tenderfoot. as Biz
| zard Bill ShoGttae ashes from the cigar his part
ner was smokingRta distance of forty feet.
Practice said william. ~ should twitter
| guess spilled rnore'u two dozen Cinnamon
learnin' that there trick. - Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
sTEELE-I hear you have broken off with
Dolly Warden.
Penn-Yes. She made me spend too much
VaCr mo- ON oil fhaa
Steele-How soi
Penn-She was so fastidious that she wouldp' t
sit on the same pair of trousers twice. LOthier
and Furntsher.
Robinson very late at night)-HeIlo, Brown,
Hrown-Yes. I've been working over nv
books at the office and I'm afraid to meet my
wife.
Don't Mrs Brown like to have you work at
'She doesn't mind that, but she won't believe
| I've been there. "-TerGs Stftimgs.
CusToMER-I'rn startin' little store out nv
way. i spose can get somethin throwed Off
| the retail prices on clothin'2.
Saiesman-Certainly. What shall show you
| frstf ...
Customer just want to get a pair OF over
| ais to wear in the tin shop. It's q hardware
store I'm startin' Smith, Grav Dc Co S Weekly.
"HELP, help cried Mr. scatterwitz, dashing
| from the hall Of his apartment house into the
parlor of his mel, hbors fiat, 81 just sow your
daughter IN the back paFlor having a fit. -
| "Be calm, Mr. Scatterwitz," said his neigh
| bor's-wife quietly. There is nothing wrong.
| n HE just Went down there to practice her
| Delsarte lesson Oh. cnCO Inter Ocean.
| They were talking of the vanity of women.
! and enc of the few ladies present und, rtook q
| de ense. ''Of course. she said. II admit that
/ women are vain, and men arc not. Why" she
| added, with E!ance round, "the neck-tie OF
the handsotnest man in the room is even now
! up the back Of his collar" And then she
| smiled for every man present hat put his hand
! up behind his, neck -DrGke's Magazine.
| READY TO COMPROMISE. our case, said the
| police magistrate, ''perplexes me. You are an
| old offender. You have been brought before
| this Court dozeQs of times for being drunk aud
| dtsorterly, and it doesn't seem to do any good
| either 70 fine you or send youto the warehouse
| Yet you oone seem to -eea bad man at heart -
| Fin not, ledge" sniveied the contrite old
| vagabond, drawing the back of his hand across
7 his nose, land LIN wplin' to drop these per
eesdln's right now If you, are-"-Chicogo
| Tribune