Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-16

49, ~. .1 l![I
hard hilllons,re
stage 5.
ssWhat On earth am / g ~ Ia
poor Tom. 1--WE owo hail S419x'S
rent, the bufchsr won't give Us any
more credit, and things are very bad
with Us.
| Ichanged the subject and I tried
to cheer him with soft words, q dry
biscuit, and glass Of the secretarial
sherry. He had a second glass, and
the poor fellow went away smiling.
As soon as he had left the room, !
touched my electric bell. Aclerk APP
peared.
SHOULD that gentleman call again, "
! said, syou can tell him that I have
gone away on business"
! The clerk knew what I meant.
IT was just week after that that
claim for indemnity was laid upon
my Office table. It ran as follows:
To the Anti Burglar Security Association:
| GENrLENENI regret to inform you that
my house was entered last night by an
armed burglar. He has stripped the place
| OF valuables. OF which I send you an APP
Proximate list. There may be possible adj
ditions; but my wife has been too much
| frightened to assist me in making an in
ventory: One silver teapot. f22 10s.; one
silver christening mug. IS S.; twelve silver
| teaspoons. 86.
And so on and so on, the total coming
to the sum of Els lis. I'D. The letter
was dated from Arabella Villa, and
it was signed Thomas Shiftless.
I flew to Arabella Villa in a cab.
There was little crowd outside the
door: three plain-clothes officers were
interviewing the general servant in
the kitchen; and the chief of them
informed me that an entry had been
effected by the scullery window, and
that, 'sfrom information received"
he had no doubt whatever that that
eminent craftsman, Mr.. Robert
Smoucher, had done the trick.
He looked tremendously intelligent
when I told him who was, and when
I gave him half a crown, he looked
more intelligent than ever. Tom was
ministering to his unhappy wife.
'The poor thing has had a fit of
Mysteries every quarter of an hour
ever SINCE" he explained to me.
"Oh, Mr.. Pushard" cried the poor
sufferer to me, 'Uh!'
1 soothed her. Little by little I
learned all she had to tell. To put it
shortly, her story ran as follows: Her
husband was at his club; she was sud-
denly awakened by noise in the room;
she was gigantic figure standing at
the foot of the bed, it wore pea
jacket, red comforter, and a fur
cap, the face was concealed by a
hideOus mask. ''The mans eyes
sparkled like burning Goals, she said;
sin his hand was pistol, which,
might have gone off at any moment.
tainted away at once. When I
came to myself, Tom was holding the
smelling-bottle to my nose; and, oh,
Mr.. Pushard, I shall never believe in
you and the Anti-Burglar Security
Association any more.". Then she
went off into fits Of hysterical laugh
ter, and I went back to the Office.
They never caught Mr.. Smoucher,
the eminent craftsman.
1t was about year after the burg
larry at Arabella Villa that Tom
Shiftless came into his uncle's money.
Within week he had another stroke
of luck; he discovered the whole of
the property which had been stolen
from Arabeila Villa; he came to the
Office one morning and informed me of
the fact; in his hand was check for
ELS, lis. i'd.
''Mr. Pushard," he said (the fellow,
now that he had come into his money,
actually had the impertinence to be
distant to me. I was his Dolly once.
Bah! how hate ingratitudeD s1ast
night while digging in the garden,
beneath a goosberry tree, which I
planted the very day after our burg
lary"-here his eyes twinkled, and he
smiled in a fatuous manner-sI dis
covered the whole of our plate, and
the fur-cap, and the pasteboard mask
of the villain who robbed us. Under
the circumstances, feel that I can
do no less than return the sum paid
me by the Anti-Burglar Security As
ISOLATION. Now, I'll trouble you for
a receipt"
"Your conduct does you immense
credit, my dear Shiftless," I cried.
'sLet me shake you by the hand, I
added, in my enthusiasm.
But the upstart thrust his hands
into his pockets, and he would not
even sit down. One can not afford to
quarrel with man who has just come
into money.
"Let me offer you a glass of sherry,
Tom." I Hospitality cried, 'just to
show there is no ill-felling." Then
I handed him the receipt.
81 don't want your sherry, Mr..
Pushard," he replied.
Then light burst in upon me a,
once. / saw it all. / knew now who |
had burgled Arabella Villa. It was
Tom.-St James Gazette.
Good Authority.