Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-05-01

wasn't just too disobliging. Part of this
she told to the conductor while he was
elbowing her to the door, part to the brake
man who lifted her off the lower step, part
she shrieked after tle departing train, and
the appendix, which occupied the rest of
the afternoon, she rehearsed to myself, the
brakeman, and the passengers in her
vicinity.
|. A Woman Who Got Excited.
"In the other case woman ran after
my train at a dining station. She heard
the bell, and looking out saw train mov
ing. She Judged correctly; it was her
train. She made dash for the door, broke
through the interfering line of station men
and bystanders, jumped on all the steps of
the car at once, alighting simultaneously on
her chin, elbows and feet, lost her hat,
shopping bag, shawl strap and some of
her back hair, shrieked and held on, got in
side the car and was triumphantly carried
down the siding about 300 yards, where the
slee cer was coupled on, and brought back
to the station in time to finish her dinner,
which she did not do. Her ride had de-
stroyed her appetite.
''She sent word to the dining room man
that she would 60 to jail before she would
pay for q dinner which she was not per-
mitted to eat in peace, and the dining room
him cent. He said to me, which I did not
repeat to her, that she could beard with him
a week, any time she pleased, for the enter
tainment which she had given his guests.
we changed all the plates. he said, in
thoughtful parenthesis, while he made fig
ures on the back of letter, while the
guests were at the windows, looking at the
race, and served the desert, and when they
came back to the table some of them looked
Al Al Nha& r1a&
be all right, and went away filled and con-
tented, paying IS cents for nutritious,
well-cooked and promptly served two-course
dinner; consomme and rice pudding"
Moral.
Beloved, the people who lose their din
ners chasing after trains that are not going,
or are going in the wrong direction, do not
all show railway tickets at the gate. 1t has
| not been month since, to quote our friend
| on the wood box-"We have saw" one or
two men chasing Presidential trains, which
when thev caught, they discovered were not
| going to Washington via Minneapolis or
| Chicago, but were merely running local to
| Lonelyville via Firstballot-Siding. Many
a man, my son, within the range of your
own tender young memory, has chased
train through devious side tracks and tangle
Yards, and catching it, has congratulated
Midasapolis, only to hear the grim con-
ductor say, "Sing Sing! Change suits! Last
stop; all out for Sing Sing" MANY man
Jumps on a train without asking questions,
intending to take little run out to Shearem-
willie, where he has heard prime lot OF
lambs. W. ere at pasture, and has been put off
at Shorntown, and walked thoughtfully
home, with the biting winds of the raw and
gusty evening time, whistling keenly over
the place where his wool had been when the
market opened.
Oh, my son, child of my pride, and my
hope, be dead sure you know where you are
going before you start Read your ticket
clear through before you try to get aboard.
Ask the gateman and then have a word
with the usher, and don't try to get any
where ahead of your train. Don't depend
too much upon your own geography. Every
train that runs east doesn't start out In the
direction of the sunrise, not by 30 points,
maybe. And if you don't know where you
want to go, stay home, that's better than
against the Tide.
With hopeful heart titled the ground
sowed the seed in faulrless rows,
And walked next morning to the sound
Look out! See how it SHOWS"
planted then sweet Mignonetto
Its faint perfume would glad the air,
All night, with many curve and fret,
The dogs came down and rastled three.
With bitter heart, in taunting vein,
The strong-breathed onion then / sowed,
At morn came down the pouring rain,
And washed my onions down the road.
Still with brave soul laughed at Fate,
IT will not yield me yet; not I!'
And broadcast sowed, with heart elate,
The plantain, that can never die.
But was whipsawed, just the sameI
With Fate no longer / dispute,
Forthwith a horde of rabbits came
And ate my plantain, leaf and root
ROBERT J. BURDErrE.