The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-06-26
AN ODE TO PROF. GARNER.
Being the Liquidation of n Debt Long Duo
the Distinguished Monkophile.

Being the Liquidation of II Debt Long Due
the Distinguished Monkophile.
An article in the current number of
the North American Review by Prof.
r. L. Garner, entitled "What Expect
to Do in Africa" has inspired the writer
to indulge in little drafs on the imag-
ination in connection Herewith, the
Righteousness OF which may DO readily
excused in the light of it's harmlessness.
The poem, or "monkerel," as 1 have
called it, assumes that the professor has
sailed for Africa, reached its shores, OK
plored the jungle, interviewed the
anthropoid apes. familiarized himself
with their speech and their society and
as natural &C nsequence fallen in love
with simian or gorilla maiden.
Secretly, these two beings have planned
their departure for New York and our
story in verse finds them at evening on
the coast of Africa wrapped in the
solitude of their originality and sup
posed security awaiting the coast
steamer near Gaboon, West Africa. In
the midst of their thoughts of love
band OF gorllas appear upon the scene
and after demanding the return OF their
k1ns~oman are repulsed by the gallant
professor and so tho pair escape, but to
our poem:
"'TwAs EVENING on THE COAST OF AFRICA"
translation lin psrp from tho Simian tongue
BY Il. A. PARSONS.
Dedicated TO Prof. X. l.. Garner ON the eve of his
departure for Africa on his Zoopho.ic
expedition.
As Sol sank low amid Atlantic's wave
a man and maiden arm in arm were seen.
The man was goodly OF proportion, brave;
The scene was lonely but for these two beings.
w no seemed OblivioUs to surrounding gloom;
Ii was an Eden and the sunlight flccng
Affected not the hue OF loves sweet bloom.
grew absorbed in contcmpativc dreaming,
And unused OF oih,r days, in>which too
In loves sweet radiance for youth cleaning,
Strollcd in the park and visited the Zoo
The Zoo! What made me think of that wondcr
;, All yes: the atmosphere nodount,
For April's land has inst been nj asundcr,
by geologic explorations rout.
But to my theme; and rs my gaze was turning,
Behold, the lovers were approaching near,
The n an grew tender. and his words were burning
Deep into The maidens heart and ear.
My sweet" said he, "dost know where VIC arc
said she, 81 care not If thou art ever present"
Then come" he said, 1.-THE moments fast aro
"rhc night grows on and day is cvancsccut
The twilight thickcncd, and at last the darkness
Oerspread the sky and earth and sea-
The irOpic sands were now wholly sparklcss
And solitude seemed only there with nc.
But snddcrly there flashed from the heaven,
a great white light, cnvroning the earth,
And To- saw from darkness risen,
As wild scene n light could ere give birth.
The man alone seemed OF the human kind,
>, he maid. still true, was nesting by his sde
But round them gathered well defined.
A band OF giant apes and loud they cried:
Give back our maid. thou spoil,r OF our home,
~ tcIu UP our loved one and DcgOnc.
"Bctnkc thee TO thy cage, leave us alone
Put ont your hated light, the day is done.
The clamor grew, and then the man
Determined TO assert his power and Will,
lie cast his eye around To sean
The possibilities of n general kill.
Then drew he forth his chemical revolver,
And sprayed that throng with punycnt Odor.
He looked and ny scene discover,
He rclt great pride in his old muZzlc loader.
Then whispered low the maid, MY dcarcet X. L.
We must make haste, escape to thy New York
For Pa will empty every barrel
Bankrupt our nation for this nights work.
And render nugatnry thy great science
And then the thoughts too, too distracting-
lie might tear me from this alliance"
BE comfortcd. my dearest simian maid"
Replied the manly geologic charmcr
"Of man never was afraid,
And monkeys cannot brighten Garner
Then sped they OH rs you may well conjecture
Escaped the Vaccinations OF the apes.
In ~ ork" the maid attended cyc'y lecture
Soon learned our language ANA the Use OF canes.