Morning journal and courier., 1892-01-06
LIG HT.

$50 dark, and yet SO light" as the man
said when he looked at his new ton of
coal-Drakes Magazine.
There are still too many people who en-
joy seeing tin pan tied to the tail of some
Box-"How is your unclel Is he out of
danger yet!" Cox-"No. indeed. Oh,
haven't you heard the newss He died day
before yesterday. boston Transcript.
Merchant-What kind of cider is that.
Farmer-Tramp cider. Merchsnt-What
do you call it that forl Farmer-It never
works Detroit Free Press.
Baulso-How did you manage to get
through that crowdl had to wait for half
an hour. Cumso-I was smoking that
cigar you gave me.-Life's Calendar.
"Your sermon was a work of art, Mr.
Windmore" "Thank you" at called
very forcibly to mind the quotation, art
is long and time is fieeting' '."-Washington
Star.
A Clean Sweep. Mrs. Grimsby-whst
shall do with the old yachting dressi I'll
never wear it again.
Grimsby-Why not give it back to the
dressmakeri Sadly She has the yacht
Cloak Review.
Shells Mr.. Johnson's engagement with
that Boston girl broken off He-Yes
She-What was the caussi He-She
quoted from Ovid in one of her letters,
and johnson telegraphed her for the ci-
pher.-Life's Calendar.
Mrs. Gazzam las she came in from
church)-Sometimes it is very hard work
to listen to DIR. Thirdly's sermons. Gsz-
zam-Thats the reason l don't go to
church. 1 don't believe in working on
Sunday.-Harper's Bazaar.
"How is vickarsl Good payf" 80, he
is good enough if you only give him time.
His grocery bill, for example, usually runs
so long that he has to pay Is or 20 cents
extra for the ink used in setting down the
items.-Indianapoli Journal
Bullfnch-What's the matter, my dear
Wooden! You look heated. Woolen-
Heatedl Well should think l might.
just stepped into old Gotrox's Office to ask
for his daughter, and / hadn't spoken
three words before 1 was fred.-Boston
Courier.
'sIt is your opinion" said the theologic-
al professor, ''that the part of the parable
which represents the prodigal son as feed
ing among swine is to be taken literallyf'
"Perhsps not" the thoughtful young man
replied; "may be it is reference to the
meals he ate at "a railway lunch counter" !"
Washington Star.
"Say, dsr, yo' Ab'm, whaffer you act dat
er way; what yo' holdin' behine yo' back. F"
"Nuffin, daddy"
''Yes yo' is, yo' got FER laig of de chick
en- what yo' pore, tired ole daddy nearly
got shot fer takin' las night How yo'
spec anything fer Crismus, if you lie an
steal like dat!"-Texas SiftiHgs.
Magistrate-You are charged, sir, with
selling liquor on Sundays.
Prisoner-Never sold a drop, jedge.
"But here is reputable witness who en-
tered your saloon by the back door last Sun
day, called for drink, received bottle and
glass, poured out liberal quantity, drank
it and paid for it."
''Did he say it was Ticker, jedgel'
"He says it tasted like liquor"
"Well, jedge, I'm a law -abidin' citizen, I
| am. That there Teller tried to break tn
law by buyin' ticker of me, but didn't sell
him no Ticker, no SIR"
"What did you sell himi"
at was a temperance drink, jedge, made
up of turpentine aud kerosene, red pepper
an such things, jedge. 1t wasn't Ticker,
jedge it only tasted like it.-New York
| Weekly.