Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-12-16
THAT CORSET.


more generally known. But both the
fances had been discreet. 1t was known
that Ted had been keeping company with
the wealthy widow, but what had induced
her to depart from her oft expressed de
termination never to give Pat McDona-
Rhue a successor was mystery.
If Ted had been young and handsome
her choice might have been accounted for.
But he was fifty if he was quarter of an
hour, and when he dropped nickel in the
slot the arrow did not stay its motion till
it had passed the point of $50. His circum-
ference was longest at the equator From
that line it tapered up and down. Like so
many other San Franciscans, Ted had once
been rich, but having in an i'll advised mo-
ment resolved to get even with that grasp
ing bonanza firm he had left most of his
coin on the bleak shore of Pine street, and
was eking out a small remainder of his
fortune by precarious Jobs as a real estate
and insurance broker. His symptoms. as
the hom9opathists say, indicated marriage
with a woman of means. And Teddy, who
was jovial, good tempered and full of fun,
did not despair of carrying conviction to
the mind of one of the many California
widows whose husbands had been judicious
enough to die before they lost their money.
After much accommodating he had fixed
his glittering eye on Mrs. McDonaghue,
whose husband had been killed in the
Bloody Bootiack mine just after he had
struck pay ore the widow sold her interest
in the mine for round million, and had
lived sumptuously on the interest ever
since in a roomy house in the Mission.
She had no children, but she could always
find girls to accompany her to the park, or
TO the theater or TO the watering places
in the season Like Ted, she had run to
adipose. None but the descendants of
Longitharm could clasp her waist. Few
chairs could sustain her weight Her
favOrite seat was a sofa.
When she became aware that Teddy was
paying her attention with view to mat
rimony she told him that he was ridicu-
Ious
"Misther O'Mara, said she, there is no
carriage built in which we two could sit
side by side II we walked the streets
Hrrum and arrum, we'd push every one
into the gutter"
"Misthress McDonaghue," said he. 'av
could hold your warrum, plump hand In
moline, the whole worruld might pitch into
the gutter for anything I'd care"
But the widow had been so long weaned
from thoughts of love that she laughed at
Teddys gush, and he made but little prog
ress. He brought her flowers which she
shifted without the least sense of gratitude
10 the donor. He brought her candies
which she gave 20 her girl friends. He
bought her theater tickets, which she &C
cepted on condition that he was not to 40
company her. Dye want" she would
say, ito have us taken for freaks from the
circus-the fat couple from Oireland i'm
ported at great expinsei"
She was always glad TO see him, asked
him TO dinner, and gave him old sherry
which the late McDonaghue had laid in
sound wine which that rogue Ted loved,
but when he tried to breach the subject Of
his hopes, she made fun of him. After a
long campaign he succeeded in obtaining
the privilege of holding her hand. 1t WAS
pudgy hand, with short, stubby fingers
his own was fat. very fat, so that when he
held hers the clasped hands looked like
two obese mollusks glued together
There were times when he despaired
But his circumstances were not improv-
ing, and he would not give up the game 50
long as he had not been actually shown the
door
One day when he called he was told that
the widow had gone TO Santa Cruz.
Happy thought Why should he not go
toof The sea air opens the heart At
watering places ladies pine for alteration
There is no business there. Everybody
firts, when any one can be found to fiirt
with. Women have nothing to do but to
listen to words of love. He would go to
Santa Cruz in brand new outfit of clothes,
and would push his suit with ardor. II
the widow had any heart at all he would
find it. He was a good swimmer; he
might have a chance Of saving her life
At any rate he would show her what he
could do in the foaming breakers. He
would prove to her that he was not too old
for love or for any other manly exercise
IL did not take him long after his arrival
to ascertain that the widow bathed daily
and that she had several bathing suits. of
different colors, which she had brought
down with her. At the hour she was ex-
pected he appeared at the baths and de
manded bathing suit. The man who dis
penses those garments looked at him
doubtfully, and then called his wife. who
also inspected him. Then said the man.
ppm afraid we have no suit that will fit
gentleman Of your size"
"Tuti nonsensep replied Ted. you
must find a suit My doctor orders me to
take salt water baths. My death may be
On your head if you prevent me. I'll
squeeze myself into any suit"
While the visitor was uttering these
calculations the man and his wife were
consulting in whispers Ted caught the
last remark of the wife:
''pd risk it. It's odds she won't come to-
day. She said yesterday that bathing gave
her a headache If she does come, why,
we'll say the missing suit fell into the WA
ter and is hanging out TO dry"
..oos the man Then m
the visitor 81 think you'll find what you
want in o. The boy will show you the
way. tn be fifty cents, for the suit is
extra large"
The dressing room was apparently a
double one, and bathing suits hung from a
number Of nails. sTed undressed swiftly,
and prepared to put on a blue suit, when
he noticed black object hanging on the
wall. He took 1t down and identified It a.
corset. He had seen corsets before, and
he perceiyed at a glance that IL was larger