davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

BEBCHAM's PrILs cost only = eeHts box.
They are proverbially known throoghsnA the
world to be worth q guinea q box"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

When Wild young men start out ~ fun
they are going to have it if they have - fight
for il.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

SIT is more blessed to give than 70 receive,
but there are many excellent things - b.
said in favor of receiving.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

The man who never puts off till Tomorrow
what he can do to-day must inevitably eat "a
great deal more than Is good for him.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Young Lady Patient: Doctor, wha6 do yor
do when you burn your mouth with hsA cot
fee? Doctor: Swear.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14
Tho Only One Ever Pristed-Can Ton Find
the Word?

the Word?
There is S-inch display advertisement
in this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one worl. The same 10
true Of each new one appearing each week.
from the DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places a Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for i, send
them the name Of the word, and they will re-
turn you Book, BEAUTIFUL LlTnoGnAPRs Or
SAMPLES FREE.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

The bachelor who puts his fnges into the,
boarding house pumpkin pie n ayA - pull
out q collar button.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14
II Turned Her Head.

"Why did Lots wife look backP"
asked the pretty Sunday-school
teacher.
Il suppose woman passed her with
new bonnet on" replied Johnny
Cumso.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

hrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup Esv Chill
dren teethinS. eoftsns the gums, rrtueps intiam-
nation. allays pain. cures wind collie - bottle.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Smiles that crack in the middle vi<h their
metallic hardness convey but little smd6alty.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

The postofice department Seems - be p1st)
a little two cents-ative on the subyecs Of pen-i
ny postage.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Ehorths nd by mNi. Coed Positions seeure.l
all competent pupils. W. q. Chafee. OsveEo. N. Y.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Men with the grip may be suspected e hos
tility to the government. They are a Chill
1y-uuS,
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

beautiful New Years anthem ah019d be
written ON the Office towel and enEtled,
"Wring out the old, ring in the new
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

DR.. Foote's new pamphlet on vaYlseoeee tells
all about it and what all men ought - know
Esnt (sesaledD for ~ cents. Box 7Ss. New York.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

The man who never gives up BiD1 the
answers to some awfully good cOn041ums.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

If you cannot sing, let the ChriEAas an
them alone
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

A Christmas story: II didn't expsss any
thing this year."
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Il doesn't follow that because a man is
master of dead languages he has . killing
style Of speech.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Labor-saving machines are all instruments
to that tired feeling"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

George Eliot says, The man who 6Hts q
friend sducates him" But the truster often
gets the most experimental h0wle1ge.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

TIE QUEEN OF FASHION tmontAly) with
its hundreds of superb illustrations ranks first 80
cts yearly, Wit b free g, ct pattern of any style
send e ct stamps FOR sample copy. Biodworth
Il Co, AZ E. 18th st, n. Y. City.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

MABEL" said her mother. ~unae8 sye
have pressing business this evening" AZ
is Georges evening: Harry dosa'S col
till tomorrow night"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

''You don't understand Edwin, uncle he
is diamond i'll the rough" Then tire soon
er he is cut the better
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Judge: What Is the charge aea4nst tt
man?
Policeman: He stole q streetcR bs1ee.
Judge: will decide tomorrow yhefhe
TO send him to Q lunatic asylum q - pofXIN6.
house.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

The Term Mt Last Defined.
Willie-Pa, what's rhinestone?
Father-A glass instrument used to
skin suckers.-Jewelers' Weekly.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Husband: Mn. Tiptop's dinner - grand
wasn't it?
Wife: didn't enjoy il.
Husband: Why not? u
New Yoth Wsa1t4 MAS
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14
Baby's Ailnent

Baby's Ailment.
Wife (sleepily)-What is the mat
ter with baby?
Husband ION the waikiki think he
is suffering from an attack Of yellow
fever.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

Accounted For.
Dear Jess. It seems quite strange to ne
docs It seem strange to YOUR
When We tosether used to be,
We both were twenty-five
But now We meet (can II be true?-
think It DER and o'erD
I've passed my forty first and you
Arc only thirty-fOur.
I do not know. do not care
How fortune favors you;
You look as young as when you were
My dear at twenty-five
But this I'd like to know. dear Jess.
(FOr so 1t now appears),
Why you in age than me are less
By more than seven years?
The matrOn dropped her deep-lashed eyes.
And. as she held him fast.
She answered.. 'twixt her lony-drawn si2hs:
.Yoa know men live SO fast!n
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.

jokes and Joke'ets that Are suppesoA e
have Bsen Recently Born Sayings a1e
D0ings that Are Odd Curious -
louShabl0.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1892-01-14

But that quick eye OF AccringtOn' 8
had noted the solitary rider long ago.
and she had not gone far when he 'ane
lightly swinging over the cradle hills to
her side, with . wor Of gentle cOncil-
iatiOn in his greeting.
She cou d not help admir;ny his fine
appearance in the brill ant uniform of
the hunt. as he m ma ed his fiery hunter
with consummate skill, controlling its
impatient efforts to break away and
Join in the mad race over hedge and
ditch. with q turn of the firm right hand
on the reins ali the while seemin ly
quite engro sed with the lady beside
him. Having drawn from her the reason
of her tagging behind. aad condoled
with her On her disappointment he
promised to stay by her until she had
found more desirable co npany.
~Or until you find your golden-tressod
A,iadne,' retorted she. laughing and
blushing superb y. for she entirely be-
lieved in what he had asserted concern
ing Auberon's preference for another
than loveday-for herself, she trem:
blingly hoped.
He looked sad and depressed.
Il fear 1 am not to have that happi.
ness to-day sa no, unless you. my
kind ally help me to it. see indica-
lions of interference. rrobably by that
immo tai. the Carisbrooxe. who has
long outlived the syu pathies of hu
mainly. / believe Miss Ieliamere has
been specially placed under guardian
ship for the day. can perceive no OF Ell
reas n for young Crecy's close attend
ances
The insinuat:cn dropped Ike honey
into Merrion's hurt; she had wondered
somewhat shamedly that Auberon had
allowed hoy to fall behind alone.
That Vas the explanation. the good,
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30


j. d. Runford, of Los Gatos, Cal.
has originated a new system of iv-
ing which he calls the Edenic sys-
tenn. He eats nothing but raw wheat,
consuming about three-quarters of a
pound a day. Bread, butter, sugar,
meat, eggs and milk he regards as
poisonous. He eats only when he
feels hungry, and appears to thrive
on his strange diet.
AT forty, he says, he was an old
man, whereas now, though sixty, he
feels young. II can get along" he
adds, ION one or two cents a day
and do a good days work Five cents
worth of rolled oats has lasted me
twenty-four hours while travelling.
] could not possibly eat more than
ten cents worth of wheat a day, SO
you can see how economical my sys.
tenn is" Mr.. Runford also has a
theory about feeding horses, giving
them only one good meal a day Just
before bedtime.-Los Gatos Gau-
ohero.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30

The most gigantic piece of solid
masonry that has been erected in
modern time is in the Bombay presi-
dency. The city of Bombay, which
is listed among the largest on the
globe, having population of nearly
. million, was in danger of being
forced to undergo g water famine.
The wise men called a meeting and
decided to build q monster dam-one
that would inclose the entire water
shed of the valley, which drains
into the sea south of the city, The
plans and specifications selected called
for dam of solid masonry, pyra-
midal in general outlines, two miles
long, 11S feet high, 103 feet In thick
ness at the base and thirty -one feet
at the top.
In its finished condition it is reck-
oned as the acme of engineering skill.
The top is provided with a beautiful
driveway twenty-five feet wide, pro-
.tected on each side with concrete
guards, each three feet in thickness
and five feet high. 1t incloses a lake
of water eight square miles in area
st. Louis Republic.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
The HumprIst,s Doom.

Few men can overcome by the
force of solid qualities the odium
Of being witty. Small matter how
good or how wise such man be, it
counts for nothing In popular esti.
nation. He is n trifer and nothing
more. No chain IL stronger than it's
weakest link. Thus with your wit.
No natural gifts, no mental acquire
ments, no grasp Of complex social OF
political questions can expiate the
crime Of being funny. The weak
link is there, and by the weak link
will all men Judge your capabilities.
But what of tho humorist2 Is not
his worthy art3 Does he not play
q legitimate part on the stage Of hu.
man actiona The latter undeniably,
but at what q sacritice--no, not sacri.
fee, for he can't help it-with what
a penaltyl Character he may have,
but reputation is gone forever. He
is marked man among his fellows.
You may convert the sinner, and he
is pillar of the church; but there is
no redemption on earth for an &C.
knowledged humorist. Kate Fields
Washington,
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30

The invention Of fire was great
step in the progress of the human
race. and it is not strange that SO
many uncivilized peoples have super
stitious notions connected with it..
Mrs. Millett, in her account ct the
aborigines of Australia, has some in
teresting observations under this
head, When the natives camp Tor
the night fire is lighted in front OF
each hut--the huts being made OF
boughs, with the entrance carefully
turned away from the wind-so that
the feet Of those who are sleeping
within may be kept warm.
If one of their relatives has lately
died, an additional and solitary fire
is lighted at little distance from
the huts, where the ghost of the de-
ceased may sit and warm itself with
out disturbing the family hearth.
In fact, warmth is 80 great q neces'
sity to the native that he seems to
think that the dead can only by de-
grees become accustomed TO the
want of it, and the airing of grave
by kindling a fire within it is a very
important ceremony at funeral.
The game love of warmth creates
an aversion to early rising, and ma
tives are seldom seen abroad until
the sun has been one or two hours
above the horizon.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30

ru,o san ssarst d:stinctive industry OF
tbe salzbureers was the CULTURE ,.,,e u
the sil,xworn and weaving oi pm, PIN,
Even as far north as Virginia ihuo, ,
care was bestowed on silk. Geu'ei..' =.
Ooletborpe shared in this genera -
tl,,,s;aa,,, and encouraged the IL
dustry among the colonists. AS lai
back as 1898 the trustees OF tne prov
;nca ,,r, iad,,ced Nicolas AInatis, OF Pied
mont to remove to Georgia. be
sides his family, Amatis took WIN w
him his servant, Jsaines Camusc' ~ ~,
tie special purpose OF rearing stn T.,
worms and manufacturing SILK. ~ ~
1zas the Salzburger pastor, the Rev.
Mr. Bolzius. led in introducing tne
industry among his people. In l4z
500 mulberry trees were ssnt -
Ebenezer, and machine was erecteo
for preparing the silk.
By the year 1850 nearly all the
English had abandoned the SILK IN
dustry. But the salzburgers perse
yered. and in 1751 they. sent over e
England 1000 pounds OF cocoons ane
seyenty-four pounds OF raw SIX
which brought them a return o
e11o. The trustees OF the province
encouraged the industry by giyint
10 each female who should learn thu
art Of spinning a reeling machine
and two pounds in money, --Rev
John f. Hurst in Harper's.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
Mice Eat the Moon.

A curious Indian legend was told
to some people way out in Omaha
by a full blooded Sioux, who lives at
Pine Ridge agency.
He said the belief was that every
time new moon appeared it was
the signal for all the mice in the
country to gather themselves to-
gether in one spot. When they as
sembled they then separated into
four great armies. One army went
to the north, another to the south a
third to the east and fourth to the
west.
These armies of mice Travelled until
they reached the point where from
the place Of starting, the heavens
seemed to touch the earth. Then
they climbed up the sky until they
came to the moon, which by this
time was what we call full All of
the four armies then commenced
nibbling at Luna, and when they had
eaten her all up the mice would
scamper back down the heavens to
the earth and wait for her to show
herself again, when the journey and
the nibbling would be repeated by
the mice; and this is what the In
dians of early days believed was the
cause of the moon growing old and
finally disappearing. -Goldthwaite's
Geographical Magazine.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
A Valuable Animal.

The sole support and the only
wealth of q large desert population
near the cradle of the human race,
all that can be obtained from the
camel is of value. Fuel, milk, excel
lent hair for tents, ropes, shawls and
coarser fabrics are obtained from the
living animal, and fresh food, leather,
bones and other useful substances
from the dead. Even the footprints
of the camel though soon obliter-
ated, are of special value in the des-
ert. A lighter or smaller foot would
leave no tracks, but the oalael's foot
leaves data for the Bedouin science
of Athar-the art of navigation for
the ship of the desert. Camel tracks
are gossip and science, history and
philosophy to the Arab caravan.
Is it not also remarkable that, al
though many diseases attack the
camel, none, according TO Burck-
hardt, are epidemici Thus has Provi-
dence prevented the sudden impov-
erishment of those who, without the
camel, would suffer starvation
Rev. S. M. Zwemer in Christian In
telligencer.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
rhe Cow we. Not pl.maxed.

A friend had landed his maiden
salmon, and having hidden it with
the greatest care among some rushes
proceeded to fish down the river, in
tending to pick 1t up on his return in
the evening. What was his disgust
when he found an old highland cow
making meal of his precious cap
ture, little but the head being left.
In his evaporation he seized trout
which chanced TO be in the basket
and hurled it violently at the head
Of the unconscious animal, striking
her full in the face; but the old COW,
not tho least Disconnected, quietly
picked up the trout and swallowed
that also, thus remaining absolute
victrix ON the battlefield. Pail Mall
Budget.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30

Bee that fine fiat therean said a
prominent builder to the clubman
pointing to an elegaJ IT stone front
building on a handsc me South side
street "Well, the man who put
that up wasn't wortIi dollar in the
world. His plan was simple. He
let the owner of the lot into his con-
fidence, who let him have it on a
ninety nine year lease at double the
rental he would have charged an
honest man. Then an accommodate
ing architect made plans for $685.
600 building, these figures being for
the broker, who was to get z per
cent for negotiating s12, 500 loan
from an eastern party. OF course
the owner of the lot, the architect
and the broker all knew it would be
put up for $4,000. At this juncture
he transfers his lease and ownership
to a friend The work proceeds
until some $4,000 is expended, and
then there is halt. The original
schemer aetaa ooat ooslt of the way with
about $1,000 for his trouble, The
lender of the money investigates,
and finding that $4,000 additional
will complete the job finally con-
cludes to take 1t off the hands of the.
friend, who is SO conside-ata as n
demand nothing r.. so doing,
~ co''.-se the money lender is the
victim, because he thinks he is get
ting $25, 900 for $1s, 5OO He doesn't
exactly understand it, but is pleased.
The owner of the land is happy, be.
ecause he gets double rent for the
land; the architect is happy in that
he is paid 5000 besides his regular
commission; the brokers get n in
stead of the legitimate 2b per cent,
and the schemer and his friend have
upward Of $4,000. Sharp practice,
ehl / know lots of houses built on
wind here in Chicago. Chicago
Mail.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
An Ala 10 nooLkeepers.

A labor saving ledger has been
patented which is revolutionizing
the whole index system of keeping
accounts. II not only renders sepa.
rate index unnecessary, but saves
much time, labor and errors in post
ing accounts. BY an ingenious ar
iangement of the alphabet the book
keeper knows just where to open
each account, and can at any time
turn 10 an account by one movement
Of the Land. The printed guide
board is simple, convenient, labor
and time saving. BY this system all
accounts are indexed as soon as en-
tered. hence losses and miaunder-
standings are less frequent than by
any other system, Detroit Tribune.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
''l,I TAEee,s 4 DIFFERENCE.

a x>.st one Man Pound "Gettin Mar
~,~6 ~n., 1sein Married. 20 he Dinerent-
One day / was seated under q tree
by a spring on the banks OF the
Cumberland river not Tar from
where il breaks through the Pine
mountains, taking resting spell
when a young farmer rode by with
Z buxom country girl behind him on
fhe same horse. He pulled up ana
asked me if wouldn't hand the gaI
m a drink of water" and while
IVES doing the gallant we talked.
s.Fine weather fer gettin married,
s;n4 itg' he said, with a grin that
rave the procession away.
sshet up. jim" said the GIRL CIV
ing him jerk.
HAh, you're to be married. are
you?' / remarked. :.
eyes . he said; s'me and Callie has
about reclxoned thar amt anything
better fer us to do"
sWell. / admire your taste. ! ven
4a,red with a smile at the girl. :.
ssFine gal, amt sheF" he said al
7niringly. HAD mighty hard WORK
to cit her. Every fellow on the
crick wanted her. Had to coax lei
six months and finally promise mel
this hoss we'er ON afore she shlicf
the other chaps an took me. MepDt
she showed pore Judgement" and ~
laughed and chucked her under tlls
chin; but you can't allus tell wila'
sort OF pertaters is in the hill by tht
looks of the vine.
/ assured him that both Of them
had done well, and wishing then
Joy, they rode on and I never ex
pected to see them again, but did.
One Sunday morning about three
months after that / started out from
the place where was abiding for
week. to little church where
meeting was to be held. Half way
there I overlook my bridal party
pretty much as they were at the frs
meeting, only Gallo was in front ant
Jim behind.
Good morning." l said, really
glad to see them.
"Howd'y9 Howd'y' they both re
piled, and we went along to tht
meeting house, chatting pleasantly
with Callie doing the most of it. Ar
rived, we hitched our horses, and be
fore going in Jim called me to one
side.
II s'pose,r he said, 'you noticed
was ridin behind this mornin."
admitted as much, but said had
not thought Of it especially.
He shook his head gravely.
''Gittin married an bein married IL
doggoned different, mister" he sale
sententiously. 'If they wuzn't
wouldn't be ridin behind"
Before / had chance to offer any
consolation Jim hurried along t6
catch up with Callie at the door, and
/ had something to think about be
sides the sermon. Detroit Free
Press.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
For on Expanslon.

Petroleum, when stored in bulk,
either in tank steamships or in tanks
ON shore, must be provided with
means for expansion when the tenn
perature rises. A drawback in ap-
pliances has been the admitting of
air ON the contraction Of the oil. The
manager Of large works in West
Hartlepool, England, has devised an
apparatus that win prevent the ac-
cess Of air. In cylindrical domes ON
the top Of the tanks he fits pistons
the rods projecting through the tops
and moving freely. The pistons rest
ON the surface Of the oil and rise and
fall when 1t expands and contracts =
New York Sun.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-09-30
WANTED 70 ee ARRESTED.
p.sav 70 saefifics Honor for Attentions
from sof1hearfed Women.

from sofxhesrted Women.
The well dressed young fellow with
4 diamond scarfpin insisted upon
seeing the chief personally. No or
5;narv detective would do him. His
business was Of the first Importance
, nd he persevered until he stood in
q ~ presence Of the head of the force.
VIZ ~"w,,ll, sir, what can we DO Tor
your" - 80 .a a..
Young fellows deliberation irritated
him.
"You will favor me by being
quick
The youth looked mysterious, drew
a chair softly to the desk and placed
his lips close to the ear of the official.
mot 80 loud" he hoarsely whis-
pered.
An expression of mingled aston
ishment and disgust swept across the
chiefs face.
What do you wantf'
II want to surrender myself"
Theyoung fellow stared very hard,
He seemed to think he had made q
sensational announcement,
"Well"
II say I want to surrender my
self"
The chief wiped his glasses and
thought, and his stern look softened
q trifle.
"Wnat have you done9" he in
quired, casually scrutinizing his Wis
itor,
The fellow with the diamond scarf
pin carelessly crossed his leg, direct
cd his glance through the window
and laughed in q knowing way,
That's for you to find out" he
loftily retorted.
We've something else to do.
Good day."
The young mans face fell notice
ably.
'spo you mean to say that ! amt
wanted for somethingl"
The chief shook his head.
"And you have no directions to ar
rest man Of my description"
"No."
Better look on your books and be
sure. This is an important matter. "
II know without looking"
'cAnd you don't want me2"
mo"
"And can't surrender myself"
mot at the present showing"
There was nothing lofty about his
air now. In very subdued, quiet
way he pondered.
!"Misterp
An amused smile lighted up the
chiefs countenance.
u guess you're onto me-"
The chief nodded,
"You know I haven't done any
thing to be arrested for"
"Of course know it,"
He rose slowly, buttoned his coat
and sighed.
''It was a great scheme if it had
only worked"
The officer lost his patience.
"What do you meanY' he demand
ed. 'Ive good mind to arrest you
as vag."
mo, no; not that, not that. Arrest
me for burglary or murder, but not
as vag. lam trying to get popular
with the young ladies of the flower
mission. You would greatly assist
me by locking me up for something
terrible, but as a vag--no, no; that
would spoil it ALL"
In terror the young man with the
diamond scarfpin fed the place. De-
troit Tribune.