The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-03-16
The coLoNEL's DAUGHTER.
Her Wit Devised the Clever Stratagem
that Won Her Hand.

A bold Kentucky Colonel was the
nice young man in all respects un-
Objectionable. All the girls and ma
irons in the country sympathized with
the lovers, and the gossips pronounced
it the happiest affair in the line of
marrying that had been heard of for
a long time But the Colonel was an
obstinate man, with very red counte-
nance, fierce gray eyes and nose
somewhat mottled in blue and purple
from the long habit of generous pota-
tions of Bourbon.
The more he heard of the courtship
the more he swore that he would have
no such puppy for son-in-law, and the
Young man got into such state that
he was afraid to see his betrothed ex-
cept surreptitiously, and both were
afraid to open the subject to the Col
onel.
Happily, when the path of true
lovers does not run smooth, owing to
the opposition of cruel parent, the
misery of the situation heightens the
delight, and so the wretched, happy
couple went on day by day, as tens of
thousands have done before.
reptitious note. and the agony and
fear and the constant suspense made
the hours glow with remorse. But
anon, the Colonel learned through one
of the oossips that he was likely to be
a father-in-law without his consent.
He stalked up and down the hall NUT
tering and growing something to the
effect that this was the first time in
I, 70 hot hn ho1 hnpn OnnOEn0
and. bv Jupiter and all the other gods,
it would be the last! Then he sent for
his friend the Major, and the two
worthless discussed whether the pre-
sumptuous rascal should be horse
whipped, shot on sight or politely
slaughtered according to the code.
The last method was determined on,
and a challenge delivered to the
enemy, with an explanation of the con-
descension that accorded the chival-
rous terms, "as lady's honor was
concerned, sir"
But a woman's quick wit, always
sharper under the inspiration of love
and romance, suggested rising act
of tragedy. 'TwiXt smiles and tears
the maiden implored her lover to obey
her wishes, saying: "You know, dear
how obstinate papa is; the only way
can get anything is to pretend not te
want it, and it was just so will
mamma when she lived. Now, dc
you understands"
In the mean time the Colonel anC
the Major prepared to make worms
meat of the poor lover.
The proposed fatal morning dawned
the gentlemen were promptly on thu
ground and the ceremonies wer,
about to proceed as usual, when th'
lovers friend approached the blood
thirsty Colonel with great formalit.
and said: "Colonel, my friend has dom
you a wrong which he proposes to re
pair without the loss of his life, whicl
would only make the matter worse TO
the young lady. 1t is true that he ha
declined to marry her, and"
"Has declined to" But the mon
strosity of the thing choked the Col
onel out of utterance.
Eyes; and he desires to offer a
apology and"
"Apology!" shouted the Colonel
Hang his apology! Refuse to MARI,
a Kentucky gentleman's daughter! B
all the Internal gods, We'll see abou
that! Major, get me a preacher, sill
and a church, and all that sort of thing
mighty quick. There'n be a wedding
sir, or funeral in less than half a
hour. Not 81 word, gentlemen.
don't like puppy for a son-in-law, bu
my honor shall be vindicated."
OF course the Colonel had his way
but if he ever finds out the hoax b
will burst blood vessel or fall dea
of apoplexy. - Cincinnati ConanerciC
Gazette.