The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-09-17
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
The Editor Announces the Plan Of BIS
Coming Political Campaign.
~.

From the Nep York sun.
! Our Platform-We do not only believe
that we are eminently qualified TO I'LL the
| position of state senator, but we make no
bones Of the fact that we are humping our
selves TO secure the nomination from this
district. We have received quite number
Of letters inquiriug as to our views on Ger
tain matters and we hereby append a few
/ Of them:
! l. We stake sunJhin'," occasionally, but
will get right down TO spring water and
| hang TO 1t If the rest Of the crowd will
2. We want TO see every workingman
earning $40 per day and every capitalist
doubling his money.
8. We favor any sort of tariff which will
| please the crowd
4, Durn the Chinesei
5. We are pledged to a low rate of taxa
ton and a high price on mules.
That's about all up TO date, but we stand
ready to answer all further questions. We
shall 90 into this campaign on different
line from anything heretofore adopted.
Our opponent will probably be
the Hon. Joseph Merriman. We
have had his record for the past
six months. While he was yet youth his
mother eloped and his father went to
prison. As he grew up be robbed a store,
burned a school house, stole a horse and
got fifteen years for manslaughter. He
broke jail TO come west, and has had a
moose around his neck twice in this terri
tory. He is a voluble liar, a magnificent
dead beat and a tricky rascal in general.
All this, however we shall carefully sup
press during our canvass. Neither on the
platform nor in our paper shall we allude
to him as anything but an honorable gentle
man. We do not believe in campaign
ISLANDERS and vituperation.
Heretofore it has been the habit Of candi-
dates to put on an old red shirt, SLOUGH hat
and corduroy trousers and go among the
boys as one of them, and liquor has been
free. We shall appear at various meetings
in plug hat, boiled shirt, regular collars
and cuffs, and Prince Albert coat. Now
and then we shall have our shoes blaokeued
with regular backing. We owe 1t to our
dignity and to the dignity OF the Office We
hope to fill. Some Of the opposition will
probably take us for squirt and attempt
liberties. All such will only have to spit on
our low-out shoes to find two guns ready for
active service. We shall do no treating as
regular thing, no matter what course our
opponents pursues
II elected we shall have considerable pat
ronage to dispose OF. There won't be any
civil service about it, however. 1t will be
given to those OF our partsans who have
yelled the loudest Tor our election, and We
shall make it soon. Any one wanting bill
| put through the next legislature should call
| or write to us as soon as possible.
During this campaign we shall not edito-
| rally advert to our narrow-mrnded, small
souled contemporary. He has sworn to do
all he can to defeat us with his 400 circula-
tion, but as we can always buy up ASS cop
les Of every issue, aud the others are dead
heads IN some New England state, we prefer
to do that way. In his last be affirms that
we killed our mother and fed from Vermont,
but the canard fell as fat as his old wallet
on pay day.
We have been asked IL we shall do any
shooting during our canvass. We hope to
avoid it, but the opposition must not pre-
| sumo too far. We are willing that others
| should be heard, and we propose to be heard
ourself. There are towns where they don't
| like US. but we shall appear and be heard
| just the same We have heard Of candidates
being tossed in a blanket, but we have no
fear Of such an occurrence happening to us.
| We expect to be guyed about our plug hat,
| ridiculed about our boiled shirt, and proba-
| bly, menaced because Of our generally gem
teel appearance and humble demeanor, but
we hope we shant be obliged to attend any
coroner's lnquesbs, and thereby interrupt
| our programme.