Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1892-03-09
THE METHODS OF GEORGE.
How the Country Simple1on Amused the
village and "Spon,:ed" brink

How the Country Simpleton Amused the
Village and 'SpOnl:ed" Drink.
Every country place has it's queer
character-usually several of them-and
the amusement of the natives is largely
confined to the eccentric sayings and ac-
tions of these same natural testers.
The humor is all the more droll because
it is absolutely free from any attempt.
at drollery.
Lucky it is for rural inhabitants that
nature provides this form of entertain
ment, as otherwise they would run e
good chance of stagnating In the seri-
Gus pool Of life, and never getting the
benefit of smile to soften their faces
And SO George Stowe in his humble
way was quite a beneficient CLEAN of
light In the sober life of little Ver-
mont hamlet. George was Of uncer-
tain age and of uncertain mental ca
pacity. He seemed simple, but in reali-
ty he was endowed with full share of
shrewd Yankee cunning. He eked out
a precarious livelihood by driving
hack to the railway station and trading
on his deafness.
Nobody really knew whether George
was deaf or not. When a man dunnsd
MIN he was as deaf as a post, and at
ether times when he tried he could hear
. whispered conversation carried on ia
the back OF his coach. 1t was always
unwise to put any confidence in Georges
inhrnity
George also drank stale and bewild6sr-
ing draughts of beer, such as is ALWAYS
served in Vermont, whenever he could
inveigle anyone into buying it for him.
The wicked railroad restaurant was
about the only place in town w Inere it
could be had, and there George waited
and planned traps for the unw;Ary.
"What'n you have. George" asked a.
stranger whom he had just brought.
down fFem TIT the village, "a glass OF beer
or piece of pie?"
Eyes, yes, thank you." replied
George, affecting to misunderstood the:
question, "rll drink the beer and take
the pie right in my hand"
Another favorfte coup of Georges
was whenever anyone said ''Good-day"
to him to promptly reply:
Yes. thank you, don't care If l de, 4"
and steer straight for the bar.
And George worked this bit of di.-
that he was in danger of becoming a
scandal in the puritanical community
through hts tendency toward a condi-
ton OF inebriation. One day while rid
! ing down to the station with deacon
OF the church George was seized with
| 1T Of repentance:
Deacon" said he, 81 would like to
brace up and do better-stop drinking
and show all the folks that am a good
deal more of a man than they thought.
can do 1t If try, 1 know-only, YOU
see, have said 1 was going to stop so
many times and didn't do it that they
won't none of them believe me now"
81 am very glad to hear it; but how
can you convince them?"
| "I've got an idea Now when we get
down to the station you ask me to have
a drink, and then I'll have a chance to
refuse right before them all and show
them that mean business this time -
| "All right George, we'll do It, and /
hope you'll stick to your good inten-
| tons"
They reached the depot and went into
the eating-room. A large crowd was
there waiting for the train. The deacon
in his brisk and hearty way spoke up
80 that all could hear:
Come, George, have drink" he
| said.
Eyes, thank you, don't care if do, -
replied George, and he promptly walked
up to the bar,
He had the drink and the deacon paid
for i, but the deacon lost great deal
of faith in mankind thereby That
night he made George the subject of a
prayer at the Tuesday evening meet
ing.-N. Y. Herald.