The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-06-30

missed day In the pasture and they
always caressed the Jersey COW, until
one day KS uncle, joining them, said
jocosely:
You young people seem so fond of
that COW that shall have to give her
to one of you"
ITO which of us?" said Y.
"Ah"' said the uncle, you must settle
that between you"
When the old gentleman went off, X.
looked at Miss Y. and said, simply:
''Can my uncle give the COW to both
of us?"
And she quietly answered.: yes"
And so this substantial citizen be-
came engaged, as he truly said, through
the agency of a COW.
There are a thousand ways of popping
the question, and upon careful inquiry
1t has been ascertained that the method
which is usually employed upon the
stage and in novels is the most uncom-
mon. Let the reader who is overtwen-
| ty-one stop and consider moment how
he made the various proposals of his
life. Did he sink down on one knee and
clasping tie young girl by the hand
frantically shrek out: BE mine! Be
mine. Did he then start in and tell
| her of his long years of adoration; how
he never could love anyone else; how
| the sun of his being rose and set in her;
how she was his heaven, and if she said
| no he must inevitably take an instan-
taneous fight for the other place? Did
" ha 16 -
Indignantly cast her hand away from
him as though it was a tennis-ball, and
demand the name of his rival? Did he
cover his face with his hands and sob
| and scrape his toes along the carpet as
he walked up and down the parlor? Did
| he. when she began to yield, rush at her
| with the speed Of professional sprint
er, seize her around the waist, ard pour
forth royal octave volume of impas-
stoned rhetoric? This is the way they
do in novels and plays, but in real life
people of experience say it is different.
1t is hard to tell whether the girl or the
man is the more frightened. Both
know it is coming. He doesn't know
what he says. He had made up a speech
| beforehand, but of course he forgets it;
but it makes no difference. She has
her mind made up. All the eloquence in
| the world isn't going to do any good If
she has determined to say no" She may
! not mean mo" at all, but she generally
says so. She only wants him to come
again often. AS for sinking down on
one knee, or both knees, authorities on
| popping" say it is never done-that
not much which is worth remembering
is said on either side.
Perhaps it is better that the books
and plays should be artificial in this
matter. There is hardly printed ac-
count which contains true confession
of what a man said and what a woman
| replied when he proposed and she &C
cepted him. There are, however, few
of the love letters of great men in
print. Now, either these letters were
written with the supposition that they
might at some day be printed, in which
case they are of no value except as
pieces of literary composition, or else,
being intended for the eye of one per,
son alone, they ought not to be given to
the public. Who ever read Bulwers
love letters without feeling of dis
gust? He runs riot on paper, loses his
senses entirely, signs himself Your
1dolatrous Puppy" and commits
thousand absurdities. But why should
a man not be absurd when he is writing
to the one woman he loves? 10 write
love letters with the fear before you of
their being subsequently published
would be like proposing with stenog-
rapher to take down your speech. And
to print real love letters written hon
estly is like listening and overhearing
a proposal Your eavesdropping might
be exciting and interesting, but if you
did as you ought to do you would not
listen, or having overheard through ac-
cident you would not go away and tell
everybody about it-that is, you would
not if you were a good man and cared
anything about doing to others what
you would have them do to you.
Did you ever know man who told all
he said when he proposed to the girl
whom he subsequently married? A re-
jectsd man may give the thing away"
apparently, but he does not tell it all,
SOu luty uOpcnu upOA IL, duu du
accepted man may tell you what
led up to it, as in the case of the gen.
tleman who became engaged through
the agency of COW, but an absolutely
correct report of all the nonsense
spoken on occasions of this kind would
be something that no man could bring
himself to repeat, and, if it were re-
peated, it would be very disagreeable
to listen to. The whole thing would
appear painfully ludicrous, but it is not
ludicrous to the parties in interest. 1t
is serious always, painful frequently,
and sometimes. as everybody knows,
very tragic.
All these remarks apply especially to
the lovemaking of young people. When
an old stager proposes he may be calm
and collected. 1t is the voice of expert
ence that speaks, and if he is rejected
he may take it quietly enough, for in
all probability he has proposed several
times before. There are some old
bachelors who are chronic proposers.
There are some old f1irts who may be
depended upon not only to make love
to any woman who will give them
IL I