The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1892-09-07
THE NEWBERRY HERALD AND Nj
P'INTS FROM PINET9P.

I2thiy.
That settles it.
Get right, there.
Nov let's get up to business.
Say, you there, hold minute; want
a word with you.
Suffice 1t to say
Very much would I like to kno :,
why it is that some people-no partic-
ular denomination Observation-Disclosures
they pray, sound like they say:
Oh, Load Goad, our Hivingly Far
thur, we beeseech thee, grant us thy
s'lyation; We 'umly prayay for giveness
fower sins. OLcd, ,wehnowweareweak
worms-of-the-dust, but we trytodo
right; and five fsil-it is amis takeof
the head and not Of the hart which
panteth after the water, Brooks. Like
David We hang-our har-harps upon
the willowsand weep, yea, weep when
we-re-mem-ber Zion, ETC., etcetera,
ct cete "a.
This is funny world, too be sure.
And don't you hate to read a piece
aud find out il is All old pateIt medi-
cine I'D?
Some pat. med. ads. can do every
thing but raise the dead, and it's q
wonder they don't claim that power.
T consider medicines that can kill
the bad cat arrh valuable; but even
patented physics-those not thrown to
the dogs-should ought 10 have regard
for truth and humans.
I could take the numerous medical
notices and make myself believe 1 had
all the symptoms of all the diseases
laid down in materia medica and need
all the pills that flesh is heir to; but
I'm no hog-I know when Eve got
enough.
Pinetop has one advantage over
points that furnish items-it doesn't
tshave to' mot having taken any, re-
port personals and other "news."
No such thing happens with Needle
as Miss This has returned from Lithia,
or Miss That is absent, or Miss An'the-
other lost one of her back teeth, which
is now an aching void of offense to her
and all her friends; or MIR. Dood and
Miss Doodle visiting their -selative
friends at Jalapa-just happened to
think of Jalap-no harm Intended.
Among the reforms would like to
see inaugurated is one concerning the
printing off1ce-to do away with cap
itai letters and to divide words just
where they happen to strike the end
of the line-scmething like this:
pinetop, on c. and G. r.r., is health
V community, pleasant vicinity, a O.
uiet locality, and an imaginary idealit-
", 80 to speak. mr.. r. ]. sweethnger ls
principal owner of the schoolhouse and
miss shortbreath handles the switch to
the best of her agility and injects INTEL
lect into her pupils with great veheme-
nee and to the utmost Of her physical
character-being very striking in her
frigid rigidity.
Pinetop ls situated within the bounds
of reason, surrounded by outside ap-
pearances; and scents all battles from
ayay yonder-or words to that effect.
No bananas are hung on the outer
walls, but withered peaches grow lux
uriantly and there are more split chairs
needing bottoms than in any other
place Of it's size on the rounds Of the
globe. Holding no caucuses it pursues
the uneven bass of its way with veloci-
ty, attending to other peoples business
with neatness and dispatch, guarantee
ing satisfaction on account Of scarcity
of inhabitants, The climate is agreea-
ble-hot in summer and cold in winter.
Pinetop occasionally engages in the
swinging dance, when Mr.. Young
moon, supported by Miss Bella Donna,
in the absence of the German leads the
Pinetopites around the hall, or wher-
ever the dance happens to be danced.
On such occasions Miss Suziedont
waltzes beautiful waltz, while Messrs.
What and Isit would get on to the
poker if they had half chance. In
the meantime Mr.. Cuticura and Miss
Willingly 80 prominently promenade
around the lemonade stand; all want
ing more-she more lemonade, he more
cash and the lemon more ice and su-
gar. :.
Oh, we have from time to time
and q half at one of our little social
gatherings. It is generally when the
moon is pretty [and] full. We play
and dance and sing; that is, they do
tie singing, for however much I have
been accused of, nobody has ever yet
set me down as singer
NEEDLE.