Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-07-30

The Mistakes Msds by Easy Going and Too
Basy Parents.

The Mistakes Msds by Easy Going and To,
Busy Parents.
Written fo- The Evsnsn< Star ~ Olive Thor.s Miller
rs THE EASY GOING THE IDEAL
L motAsr7 After . prolonged study Of thos,
who orr in other ways, and unconsciously, often
with thu pursst motives, work crest harm in
the baby lives intrusted to their care, one 10 A.
most ready TO believe that the ability 70 ''let
alone" is the most valuable trait In . mother.
Yet on looking closely into hsr ways and noting
the results Of her courss that belief u sadly
shskea- Lat US observe her little.
The homo Of the easy going il overrun by
babies, that being the eAsiest way to get along.
Now, nothing y sweeter than . wholesome
baby, but wno-beside its mother-wants ii al
Important event of tho family life, the details o!
its breakfast occupying the whole household
and its nap throwing spell Of enforced silence
on every one within the walls.
OUT or TIE cnADL1
the children become even more pervssive;
nothing il forbidden them and no care II tAken
to teach them the difference between use and
abuse. In consequence there b not . clean or
whole book on the premises, not . chair that il
firm. not . table unmutilated. Boys ride the
spring furniture and harness the chairs II they
do not hack aud destroy to the top of their
bent. Girls bang the pinno, ''taks tea" In the
parlor, scatter cake and doll rags at will
They think they have q good time; 20 does
their mother. who consoles herpelf for present
discomfort and the alienation Of her friends BY
the belief that they will outgrow all this awless-
ness "Boys viii be boys" II one of the first
articles IN her creed 1t IA ~ gardener
should let the weeds grow up among the flowers
in the belief that they can be more easily dis
posed Of whom Of ful size and we'll rooted, for
getting that the strong growing weeds will long
before that time have crushed the life out Of the
flowers, and that even If by great labor they are
pulled mp and eradicsted then they viii lesve q
SCARED and scanned surface.
QUESTS Az MARrYHs
Think Of the martyrdom Of . guest IN the
home of the easy going! Not only are the chill
drsn always under foot, all the chairs sticky
and bread and butter on the sofa, but the small
strained wildnsss, insist on seeing her, prob
ably soil her gown with greasy fingers, handle
her parasol and tan, run Oh with her umbrella
and often 60 SO far ~ to demand any little
thing In her possession that pleases their fancy
And how 10 tbs unframed child in other peo-
pies housss2 Is he not the terror Of the hoe
tess. who breads his encroachments, his vio-
lenee among the pretty things which her own
children have been Taught to respect II not
such = child the true ''infant terrible" for
winch Amoflco II famous.
TIE xYYEcr uPoN THE cnupRKn
Themselves Is the greatest. Left to their own
devices, with .heir wills unframed, the seeds Of
earelesness and selfshness rapidly grow into
weeds which may take u lifetime to root out. A
sad wrong Is done to children who are de-
frauded Of the necessary discipline, who are
not Taught to respect the rights Of others and
to restrain their own lswlessness Because Of
this neglect they are dreaded and feared by
every one who knows them, when with q little
control they might have been q credit to par
ents, Joy to friends and welcome guest
everywhere.
The daughters Of such Q household come to
womanhood with no habits Of neatness or order
and no thoughtful care for others. The case
Of son Is even worse. A boy with that mas-
terful and all-grasping nature, which, duly
controlled, 10 an element Of success in his
future conflict with the world, needs always
careful drilling In respect for the rights of
others. including animals. He needs training
in personal daintiness, in civility, in gentle
ness OF manner. He is born a little savage,
with great possibilities; he must be led into the
path Of = noble manhood-led, not driven nor
''nagsed," still less allowed to reach maturity
with all his barbarisms upon him.
STYLISH AND CARELESS.
Self-training Is thing rarely attempted by =
grown man, accustomed to indulge rather than
to fight his inclinstions. The world will rudely
teach him external decency, a show of regard
for the claims Of others and certain appear
ances indispensable to the respect Of his neigh
bors, but in his own home, in the bosom of bis
family, he will to the day Of his death display
the selfshness, the carelessness Of the feelings
or the wishes Of others, the habits OF disorder
so firmly built into his character in his unfor-
tunate boyhood.
The ea.y-goins mother il frequently the re-
suit OF . too severe training, in which petty
tyranny OF some sort destroyed any pleasure in
life. % II ever have o home, I" the daughter Of
such household Is apt to think, when smart
ing under some Of its harsh rules and restric-
tons, ''if ever have home. there shall be
peace and comfort in it." And 30 feeling she
naturally fails into the opposite error In try
ing honestly and sincerely to do her duty, to
secure her household liberty, which is the
breath Of life, she failed 10 draw the line at
license, snd license Is as bad in its tendencies
- the evil she wished to avoid
THE roo-BUsY MOTHER.
One Of the most serious mistakes . mother
can make is allowing herself to be too much 90
cupied with other than her motherhood cares.
Run away now; mothers too busyl" is often
heard, but to one who thinks what It means il
V among the "saddest words Of tongue or PEN Z"
Too busy to attend to the one special and indi-
yidual work placed in her hands! Too busy
doing what?
1t may be Homework, it may be cooking and
baking and keeping the house in beautiful order
and preparing great varieties Of appetizing
food for the comfort and happiness Of those
very children. 1t may be sewing. making their
clothes and ornamenting them with stitching
and trimming, SO that they shall look as well ~
their neighbors. A wholesome but plain table
and neat but simple clothes, which will leave
more time for "mothering' the little ones, is by
far the wiser course for the busy housemother.
on whose shoulders lie all the labors of the
family household.
IN LARGE CITY.
Hs resident Of large city, where woes and
needs OF all sorts constantly appeal to the ton
der-hearted, it may be philanthropic'work that
occupies her. She may have been drawn by the
bait Of doing good" to others. This il Q subtle
temptation. and she who has yielded to it will
probably think she is "doing the Lords work.
| and may even be pufed up with an idea Of her
unsel6shness. Nothing Nill ahock har more