Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-06-05

have armed himself. with corncutter and {
loaf of bread and run away He was plan.
ming to do this very thing when called
him up and said:
Thomas, I want new rug for the hall
I want rug made of Indian scalp locks
about 20 of them. Get ready and will
start you off tomorrow.
got down an old revolver, made him a
scalpinS knife out OF a rusty scythe and in
structed him how to approach warrior
and lift his hair in the latest style, but
! Thomas didn't 60. No boy wants to run
away if you want him to.
| My boy Jim wanted to be a pirate. l
knew be was borrowing and reading every
pirate story he could hear of, and l knew
that it would result in climax by the time
he was Is years old. I had nv eve on him
when he ued to slip out behind the barn to
| practice boarding an unarmed merchant
vessel, and was listening at night when he
| called out in his sleep that dead men tell no
| tales. He had an island selected on which
| to bury his treasure, and he planned on
| sending back home box of Spanish doub-
looms and casket Of jewelry. One after
noon Jim gobbled up two loaves of bread
and'some cold meat, and that night he re-
tired an hour earlier than usual. The cli-
max was at hand. 1 went out and waited
under his window, and as he came down off
the shed, a bundle in one hand and an old
horse pistol in the other, said:
."Oh, Jim, but I've got plan which I
wish you'd help me carry out. 1t has been
a long time since anybody pushed the pirate
business with anything like enthusiasm,
and believe there's first rate opening for
an enterprising boy. I'll furnish an outfit
for You if you'll turn pirate. 1t shouldn't
be much trouble to capture two or three
Spanish galleons, and if you can send me
home half carload of gold and silver bars,
I'll guarantee to make business at this end
of the line get up and dust Do you think
you can get ready to start this week? We
don't want any one to get ahead of us, you
know
Poor Jim dropped his bread and meat and
horse pistol and sneaked into the house, and
that was the last of the pirate business
with him. From that night on his dreams
have been clear of blood red decks and
sailors walking the plank or begging for
mercy.
1t was rather worse with my Bob. He
didn't run to Indians or pirates, but he did
want to be young hero He got hold of
boy books which related the history of BOYS
who had begun lie in New York selling
papers and climbed up to the top notch Of
wealth and greatness.
When the boy hero of the book reaches
New York he invariably falls in with a gen.
tleman who suddenly becomes interested in
his welfare, and at later date takes him
into partnership. My Bob didn't find this
gentleman. He ran across lots of men who
were probably aching to pat him on the
head and give him lift in the world, but
they didn't have time just then. He slept in
doorways and lived on crusts. and after
couple of weeks the police sent him home.
He was cured boy. He at once ceased to
wear his hat on his ear and call me the "old
man." 1 didn't blow him up when ne re-
turned, and he didn't offer to eat any husks.
We never even referred to the matter
I've got another boy who is rapidly grow
ing out of knee pants His resolution has
been fixed for the last two years. He in
tends to become sailor. He already maGes
use of "starboard," port watch ahoy!"
''shiver my timbers," and so on. I'll offer
to take him to the nearest port and put him
aboard Of a coaster He'll accept and make
one trip OF 200 miles. He'll never want to
look at blue water, even in washtub, after
that.
Just as true as you live, boy is q queer
piece of machinery. He's all cogs and
wheels and belts and pulleys, and he'll run
as smooth as grease one day and wobble
like loose wagon wheel the next.