Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-07-15

WVUV INNS IM pack 10 tne
MhA @ T1 days of Adam
and Eve, and without shadder of
doubt it will continue, more or less, as
long as the world stands. OF course q
man amt apt to acknowledge that he
is ruled by a woman, and they seem to
think because they were created before
her that they are about twice as much |
consequence amt referin' to Beuja- |
min-but dear SUI, / never thought it
wuz much Of feather in their caps.
Accordin' to tho Bible, the animals
and sech like wuz made and then man
was created a superior bein' over them
creeters. Then there being still great
chance for improvement, woman wuz
made last, and wuz so nigh perfection
there wuzn't ever nothin made to out
do her. To be sure curiosity wuz
great drawback, but have always felt
that Eve wuz so pestered by Adam u
wonderin' and guessin' and a hangn'
round that tree, that she jest tasted of
the apple to satisfy him as much as her
self. There wuzn't nothing selfish
about her, for accordin' to all accounts
she gave him the biggest half and all
the core. OF course he laid it all to her
and she wuZ honest enough to own up,
and suppose took most all the blame.
sartinly think if any one talnt is
hereditary, it's curiosity. It's handed
down from one generation to the other
recollect Jedediah Bumpus heard a
noise in his cellar one night and he wuz
dretful curious to know what 1t wux,
but, like Adam, didn't jest like to
venture himself, SO finally he lit the
candle, and says he to his wife: "Come,
Hannah, you 60 down cellar and I'll
hold the light. Don't be scared, for
I'm rite here" Howsumever, when
Hannah drove an old stray cat hissin
and spittin' up them stairs, Jcdediah
dropped the candle and departed for the
bedroom considerable lively, scared
nigh out of his senses. hain't no call
to boast on, and as don't believe in
sayin' spiteful things Of anybody,
shan't mention the fact.
Now my other half is dretful Gu
rious man, but he amt no hand to
sneak out of difficulty and lay 1t on
his wife. The fact is, Benjamin's worst
fault is carelessness, and l have had
dretful hard work to break him Of it,
II amt my way to fuss and scold.
believe in keepin' calm and infiuencin'
folks.
Wall, meditated quite spell, and
at last l decided on way of breakin'
him of his needless ways, OF course
consulted Ben amin first; l always do,
and think every wife should show her
husband respect in that matter. It's a
dretful good idea if you want to have
your own way, for naturally your other
half will be pleased to think you have
such high opinion of him and will most
always show his appreciation by tellin
you to do Jest as you think best.
Wall, as usual, my other half con.
Bented to my plan, which was as fol.
lows; Everything which wuz layin
round, instead of bein' put away should
be carried to the attic in a certain
place and he wuz to find them without
my help, For day or tew, everything
wuz hung up. wuz beginnin' to think
shouldn't have no use for that empty
flour barrel l had carried upstairs, but
lawful heart, before l knew it l was
gettin' leg weary, runnin' up and dowr
with things. He didn't ask no ques
tons, but would frequently come down
from the attic with his over-halls or
slippers, sorter smilin like, and he re
marked onct twas kinder handy t.
know jest where to go.
Wall, all run on peaceful till one Sun
day mornin he wuz dressin' fer church
and his best vest wuz missin'. He
looked for quite spell, finally says he
"Huldah, seen my vest?"
looked up, sorter laughin' and say
!: YES"
Hang it ALL" says Benjamin, II for
got that pesliy attic
Wall, l declare if my other hal
wuznt a little riled when he COM
down brushin' off the flour ant
smoothin' ont some wrinkles. Says he
81 calkerlate can't afford to buy goo,
clothes to have 'em all jammed up in
barrel when there is room for 'em down
stairs"
kept calm and told him if he WI
tired of goin' upstairs wouldn't maxi
him any more sech trouble. He imme
diately became quiet. l thought
wuzn't any use to tell him l wuz jes
tuckered out myself a trapesin' u
there so often. After that decided +
to wait a spell and things run on tn
old way quite awhile. l used to pill
'em up in chair at the table, but dea
SUE, it wuz an easy matter for him t
lift 'em out into another one.
Wall, one mornin' he went out, and
calkerlate the settin'-room and kitche
looked like an old curiosity shop, onl
more so. stood right still few mir
utes, meditatin'. After due considers
ton placed his rubber boots one eac
side the settin'-room stove, arrangir
some eat-'o-nine-tails and ferns In EN-
The effect wuz full as pleasin' to tn
eye as a gilded shovel hung onto tn
wall or a pigs trough upholstered i
plush for a foot stool. | then pre-
ceeded to the kitchen and drove abou
tew dozen taclls into the wall to han
things on. There was the boot brush
milestone, slippers, hammer, hat, a
handle and so forth; sufficient to cove
one side of the wall. One or two folk
came in that mornin' and asked IL WI
kecpin' a secondhand store. told 'eI
Iwuz Jest maxim things convenient fo
Benjamin.
TO say that he wuz dumfunnere
when he arriv home don't begin to e,
press it.
"Heavings and airth, Huldah," say
he, ''be you a cleanin' houseP"
"oh no." says /. only pickin' u
Ahinrr. fnn. Won y