The Portland daily press., 1892-08-15

In the House There Are Many Broad,
Bold, Loud Laughs in Day, but SEN
ators Are Too Dignified to Do More
Than Smile.
Especial Correspondence
WASHINGTON, Aug. 11.-Congressmen
do laugh. '[LaughterI' and 'IGreat
laughterl" are frequent entries in the
pages of The Congressional Record. In
the house there are fifty laughs-that is,
official laughs, which goin The Record
to one in the senate. The grave and rev.
erend senators find it beneath their dig
nifty to laugh except on great provoca-
ton, and great provocations to laughter
are rare in their body. Senators smile
a good deal, but the official reporter
would never dare bracket [smiles] in his
report. In the house there are many
laughs in day-broad, bold, loud
laughs. The official reporters, having
the newspaper instinct, and desiring to
enliven the dry and monotonous record,
put them all in.
This has been a laughing congress.
Never before have those bracketed
words appeared SO often. It is CON
gress of funny men-some desiring to be
funny, some funny against their will.
It is congress that contains many pc
culiar members, who 'sblew in" with
the cyclone of 1890. Many of them,
who have purposely or Intentionally
amused us, will not come here again;
more's the pity! For without its sslaugh-
ter" and "great laughter" congress
would be positively dreary. Oft it is
anyway.
Our last good laugh in the house was
on Thursday, when Mr.. Butler, Of Iowa,
a very bright man and ready talke1,
made peculiar slip. Being asked if he
had not testified in certain way before
an investigating committee he replied.
Eyes, but being under oath had to tell
the truth" The inference that Mr.. But
Ter did not tell the truth except when
under oath was so obvious that it was
not necessary for any one to point it out
The house roared and the galleries
shouted, and the familiar words s'Great
laughter" appeared in The Record next
morning.
Our first good laugh was when Mr..
Boutelle poked fun at Economist Hol-
man, comparing him to Mrs. Squeers,
who gathered the boys about her at
Dotheboys hall and administered to
them with long spoon their doses of
birthstone and treacle (retrenchment and
reform), for the purpose of breaking
down their appetites and saving provi-
sions.
Between these first and last laughs we
have had hundreds more.
Young Mr.. Bryan, of Nebraska, raised
many a laugh while talking tariff.
ssMy friend from Maine {Mr. Dingley)
seriously says the tariff on wool has
made more pounds Of wool grow on the
sleeps back" To an opponent who IN
terrupted him Bryan said, "You are
welcome to all the time you want if you
will only talk in that way" Mr.. Bryan
told one of the best stories Of the ses-
sion. A white boy proposed to a col
ored boy that they go cahoots on coon
hunting. The colored boy was to fur
nish the dog and climb the tree, while
the white boy was to do the "hollering."
The colored boy accepted, and in this
way they caught three coons. When
they came to divide the white boy took
them all. "What do I get" asked the
black boy. "You get the cahoots!''
Bryan likened the manufacturers who
pretended not to want more tariff to the
maiden lady who said to herself: ''This
is the third time my beau has called.
and he may make some demonstration.
If he does have made up my mind to
bear it with fortitude." Mr.. Bryan
satirized the river and harbor bill by
proposing an improvement for the Platte
river, in his state. ''It has no commerce
now" he said, "but that fact alone is
sufficient evidence that it needs improv.
ing. If the present flow of water were
confined in stone wall thirty feet wide
and twenty feet deep there would be suf-
ficient water to carry on extensive COM
MERGE, and if necessary - could sink
artesian wells to get more water at the
west end of the river"
A colloquy in the house:
Mr. Moses-The masses throughout the coun-
try pay the enormous postal receipts returned
by the cities. Who denies that1
Mr. Bingham-I do.
Mr. Moses-No sane man could deny it.
[Laughter.]
Mr.. Bingham-I denyit.
John Allen, of Mississippi, has been
rather quiet this season. In discussing
an election case he raised one good laugh
by telling of colored voter of his town
who on every election day took up his
stand near the polls and waited for what
ever might turn up. One time he waited
and waited in vain, and finally, becom-
ing impatient, exclaimed: "Gentlemen,
I is about to vote! Does any gentleman
wish to speak to me?"
Mr.. Payne, Of New York, talking tariff,
was asked about wages in 1910. "Wel,
have not studied the question Of wages
back to the time Of the flood" Mr..
Harter asked Mr.. Payne if he might in
terrupt him. Certainly" said Mr..
Payne; sit rests me-"
Mr.. Dolliver, of Iowa, told of barber
of his acquaintance who knew every
thing and had cheerful way of letting
oo of II On another occasion Deliver