The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1892-10-02

that it represented one of Uncle Sans
new war vessels, and one of them, ex-
planning things to a party, said, THAT s
the Monitor, that licked HI out of the
Merrimac."
An enthusiastic veteran, in the East
room at the White House, explained to his
friends in the crowd what gosh almighty
fine placer he considered Washington
to be-
"Boysn' he shouted, slapping his chest
with violence, there's $40 in this inside
pocket, and Pm goin' to spend every dad
gasted cent Of it before l leave this gol-
darned town.
At the barracks near the Washington
monument eight Remington typewriters
were kept constantly busy writing letters
for the old soldiers. Machines and opera
opes and paper. Gall for nothn'!'' ex-
claimed one armed hero. Then l guess
you may let her go. just say, Dear Wife:
/ am all right. Hot as HI good-by Pr
Many of the visitors had never seen a
typewriter before. A woman, pointing at
one, asked what kind of q sewing machine
it was Another took IL for a sort of piano
and wanted to know whether the operator
could play any tune on it, Being ia
tigued with much questioning, he replied,
"Why, certainly
.'Can you play Hail Columbia on it?"
demanded his interlocutor
"Oh, yes. ma'am."
"Do it please" said the woman
The operator printed the words Hail
Columbia" on scrap OF paper, handed it
over, and started in to write letter for a
man who had been robbed on his journey
hither of every penny he had. Fortunately
he had retained his return railway ticket,
and he dictated few cheerful words for
his family, saying that he was enjoying
himself, and not mentioning his misfort-
une, nor referring to the fact that he was
living on free lunches.
Most of those who employed the services
Of the typewriters found the art of compo-
sition by dict8tion rather beyond them.
They could not think of any thing to say
So the operators asked them what they had
been doing in Washington and what they
had seen here. framing the facts elected in
suitable language, and filling in with two
or three stereotyp ped sentences about the
parade, the fireworks, and the city. One
old soldier, when asked what he wished to
say, became quite indignant. said he l
thought you advertised to write letters
That's your business, amt its' Commonly
the applicant would remark, Just write
me letter. You know what to put down
better than l do.
One expert in mendacity dictated: Dear
wife: l have just bought a typewriter and
have learned how TO operate l.. l will
bring it home and teach you" Another
Ananias requested the operator to raise the
number of men in the great parade from
80. 900 to $50. 900 and likewise treble the pop
ulation of Washington in his letter home
$50 as TO produce an impression on the old
woman IS he expressed it. Comrade
Charles H. Crater. of Kingsville O., die
tated the following poem, which was con-
sidored very fine at the barracks:
Away with all our troubles.
Away with all our fears,
Our days and months are passing,
And ieetly pass our years.
Now my poem I've written,
In Ohio Barracks "E, -
BY rainStorm we are srnitten,
In District OF Columbia.
In nearly all cases the signatures were
typewritten by the operators, the writers
preferng TO have their nam es printed. AS
many letters were written for each person
as he desired. One said he was going to
have the one he wrote framed when he got
home.
One Of the chief attractions Of Washing
ton for the veterans, and their woman-folks
especially, was the Chinese baby, Many
hundreds of them visited the legation on
Dupont Circle for the purpose of seeing
that precious infant.
The number of articles lost by the visi-
tors during their brief stay was astonish-
ing, to judge from the posters seen every
where in the barracks and other head
quarters advertising missing valuables.
Unfortunately, many old soldiers lost their
tickets home, and theirs was q dismal pre-
dicament, inasmuch as majority of the
veterans had not counted on having a
penny left when the time for their depart
ure should arrive. The police department
helped some of them out OF their trouble
by telegraphing to their friends. Others
were given assistance by their army posts.
which in many instances fetched dozens of
comrades to Washington, not only paying
their expenses, but reimbursing them for
earnings lost by absence. AS for the mat
ter Of transportation. conductors on the
street cars here were asked hundreds of
times if members of the G. A. r. were not
allowed to ride free on those vehicles, and
if not, why. RENE BACHE.