The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-06-23
BRIGHT BITS.

BARBER-Will you have little bay rum?
Old Soak-Thanks; after you.-NetO York
Herald
WTGasY-Why is this called Decoration day?
Biggsy-Dont know, unless it's because SO
many take advantage of the holiday to paint
the town.-BrookLpn Eagle.
DON'T you think baby is like mamma,
Georges" asked Mrs. Honeyton.
Very. He talks all the time but never says
anything. "-NeuO York Herald
DICKER-I am told that Wahl Is a very differ
ent man in his family than on the street.
Bond-Yes; Mrs. Wahl says he is bull on the
street and bear at home.-NetO York Herald.
IT was funny idea of Scumbles to paint
pile of wood for the exhibition.
Snapps-Yes, and it was so natural the bang
ing committee put it in the fire. Chicago liner
Ocean.
PROSPECTIVE PURcHAsER-Let me see your
latest prices for hard coal, please.
The Proprietor-Jimmy, show this gentleman
to our astronomical observatory - Chicago
NetCS-Rec ord.
as BRONSON as forgetful as every"
More so. Why, that fellow has to look him
self up in the directory every night before he
goes home from business. Forgets his address.
Hdrper'S Bdzar.
The PARENT-Young man, have noticed
that you are paying attention to my daughter.
Now, is 1t all on the square?
The Lover-No-it is mostly on the stoop.
CWttHy uIuB u ~ o 4hOJkHttbs
"HAwK1Ns is very fond of his horse isn't he?''
why, no, he hates him"
That queer. saw him riding in the park
the other day, and he had his arms about the
animals neck. "-Hdrpers Bazaar.
LADY of about 80 years of .ege married
wealthy old bachelor Of Dallas. Tex. A female
friend asked her: but tell me, why didn't you
| marry your husband ten years ago?"
well, you see, ten years ago thought he
was too old for me. "-Ierds Siftin0s.
sHH-You may keep the photograph, but
| although am not Indifferent to you, Ill am
so happy as Am, in my father house, that
He-Of course, know you are pot mercenary,
but if you marry me promise you every luxury
that your father can afford.-LLe'S Calendar.
FArHER-So May referred you to me, eh?
Well, sir, do you drink
Suitor-Er-sometimeS.
| Father-This is some time. Come out with
me It's no harm breaking a New Years
pledge TO toast your daughters happiness
| Aelo York. Herald.
| APPLICANT understand that you want a
reporter?
Editor Yes, want man to do verbatim
| work Are you a stenographer?
! ApplicanJ-No. sir; but am a rapid writer.
| l used to be an actor and have had experience
| in writing stage letters
Editor-Ah You're just the man we want.
I Boston Transcript.
| PHILANTHRoPIsr-Why are you crying so,
Little Girl-Please sir, me mudder sent me
wild ifty cints fer to git bread wild, an lost it
| in that there dark alleyway. III be licked ter
rible.
! Philanthropist-Well, well! my poor child
! dry your tears, Here is-a match. Perhaps
/ you may be able to find it.-Pltck.
| Gus SSo9BERLY is a New York dude whose
| legs are Of the most attenuated character A
| good story is told at his expense. lie was out
in the Adrondacks during the past summer
| and while at farm house the farmers dog bit
him. Look here, exclaimed Gus, in iignantly
| your dog has bit me in the calf of my leg"
| The farmer looked aG Gus leg aud drawlei
out: Don't be- Your leg hasn't got any
calf. "-TeraS Siftin0s.
JACK GAYBoY Ito aged relative who has long
been hanging on the ver9e)-Well, Uncle
! William, I've come in to say good-by to you;
| I'm going abroad pretty soon. to be gone sew
| eral month; but shall hope to see you when
return.
Aged Relative You VIII never see me again
except in a better aud happier land than this
| Jack Gayboy-Then guess I'd better come
In again before go.-Boston Courier.