Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1892-06-18
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

Mrs. B.--"Dear mel what lovely
closets this nat has!' Madame,
those are not the closets. They are tho
bedrooms. ."-Harpers Bazaar.
-Twynn-"What awful language
that parrot usesp' Triplett-"You see
his cage hangs in the same room with
the telcphone."-Ex.
Man is a good deal like fish. You
know the fish would never get in very
serious trouble if it kept it's mouth shut.
-YonlSers Statesman.
Tommy Paw, when man COM
mits political suicide does he shoot his
head off?" Mr.. Figg-"No; merely his
mouth "-Indianapo Journal
An Exception -"Remember, Brud.
der, dat de rain falls on bofe de just an
de unjust" "Huh! Not when de unjust
kin borry an umbrella, Deacon "-Black
and White.
-Charlie--"I pity you, Jack, when
see your creditors pushing you. That
is q trouble never had" JaclS--"No
You probably never had any credit
Kate Fields Washington.
EXTRACT from a Novel.--"The no.
tary, meanwhile, as was his custom,
walked up and down the garden, with
his hands on his back, Gag erly perusing
a newspaper Fliegende Blatter.
-Decolette Salary. .-She-"Mrs. Fig
urante is said to put about everything
her husband earns on her back" He
81 should judge by her gown tonight
that his salary had been reduced. -
n. Y. Herald '
Are you sure Parker married Mrs.
P. for love?" Certainly. Do you sup
pose a man who not only let's his wife
buy his necllties, but actually wears
them, doesn't love her passionately?"-
Harper's Bazaar. ...'
Mrs. Gray-''I fear l am failing
fast" Mrs. Green-"Nonsense! 1 only
hope l shall look as well when l am of
your age" Mrs. Gray (sotto voce)-
when she is of my age! The hateful
old thing.'-Boston Transcript
"A Cause for Silence.-Mabel Ito
Maud, who has just looked through
Mabers MSS.)-"You didn't know 1
was an authoress, Maud, did you?"
Maud-''No, my dear; and if you take
my advice, you won't let anybody else
know it, either
They had had a little party of guests
at the house, and he remarked to his
wife, as he was getting ready for bed,
that he flattered himself he had acted
the part of host in rather brilliant
manner. 81 can recall only one bril-
liant action of yours" said his wife.
well, what was that?' Lighting the
gas"
-Intuition.-Col. Gorehunter-'Ah,
my dear Miss Pinkerly, this is an unex-
pected pleasure, to have you alone for
a feev moments. Wouldn't you like to
hear how l got through the enemy's
lines at Chattanooga" Miss Pinlserly
81 can easily imagine, colonel. You
probably bored your way through. IN.
Y. Sun.
-"Maria," called out Mr.. Billus in aa
agitated voice, 81 have lost my pocket
book; can't find it anywhere!" st is
exactly where you left it last night,
john" replied Mrs. Billus from the top
of the stairway. SIT is in the left hip
up ON the last hook of the closet; but
there isn't anything in it-now."-Chi-
cago Inter-Ocean.
Mrs. Sicovit-'I am completely dis
gusted with the habit our society ladies
are getting into of conversing in French.
There should be duty on all foreign
languages coming ihto our country"
Mr. Verityred-''O, that is unnecessary,
] assure you. Their French is not u
foreign article. 1t is most decidedly
home product. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
"A pretty girl from Kalamazoo, visit
ing friends in Detroit (says the Free
Press, met a young man the other
evening at reception. Are you a
resident of Detroit?" he asked, shortly
after their meeting. so, no." she said,
I'm from Kalamazoo" A peculiar
smile fitted across his face; smile Of
half-sympathy, half-suffering. Sand
you," she asked, quickly noting it, as
women do, ''and you are from the other
place." He nodded 1t was true. He
was from Oshkosh.
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