The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-07-06
WHAT THE CAPTAIN SAYS
And He Expeoss Other Folks to Be-
IieVe.


ludcrous sights on shipboard. Ny first rea
taste Of salt water WA as a midshipman Of
boa I'd Of one OF Uncle SANS old cruisers 0
the North Atlantic squadron. There mad
the acquaintance of an anoieRt seaman
named Smith-a man of rough exterior, bu
possessed OF a warm heart. This old tar hat
many friends on board but he and | wer
as good cronies as our respective position
would permit.
We'll, one day It happened that sailor
while in the act Of shortening sail
lost his footing on the yardarn
and fell overheard. The ship wa
going ahead at full speed. and by th'
time the cry Man eyarboardr had beer
! given. the vessels headwAy stopped and a
boat lowered, the man had become so eK-
hausted that he would probably have
drowned had not an officer in the meantime
sprang after him and CALAMITY held him up
until assistance came.
Two or three weeks after this incide nj
occurred letter came from the Secretary
Of toe Navy commanding in high terms the
| officers heroic conduct. Smith apparently
viewed the whole proceeding with feelings
OF enmity, aud after broodiug over the
affair for some days, he relieved himself t.
me one morning in quiet corner Of the . hip
| Ia the following manner:
'"Mr. Morton, said he sliding up 10 me
with salute and very serious and conf
Dental expressi On, that there letter that
the secretary wrote is a fine piece Of writing
for a young officer to have. You ought TO
have one, sir
"'Why, yes, Smith, responded, with
pleasant smile such a letter is undoubtedly
document for any fellow to feel proud of,
but I'm afraid don't quite see my way
clear to getting one ike it at present.
FOR few moments Smith looked rather
Disconnected, but a bright expression soon
passed over his homely and weather-beaten
countenance, and in a husky whisper he
continued:
"'Mr. Morton, how would it do il were
to be IN the main chains tonight fusslng
with something or 'nothsrl II would be
easy enough for me to accidentally fall
overheard. Such things have happened. as
you know, before now, sir. Then, Mr.
Morton, what's to hinder you, sir, from
jumping over after me like your messmat sl
| reckon you'd have as good a chance as
him to get one of them letters from the SEQ
atary.
"'There is only one objection to your sug-
Restion,' l replied, preserving a grave
oountenance; unfortunately, you see,
I don't know how to swim
" is that all that's a-mnderin' Of you
SIR returned Smith, unchanged; that
needn't deter yer, sir, for I'll hold yer up
till the boat comes, II l don't get the
crampA'
The chances for patronage and promo-
ton in the navy were little too slow and
risky for me. So, In the early eos | gave
up the idea OF trying to become an admiral
and went into the merchant service, max
ing several passages round the Horn and
Cape of Good Hope as mate on clipper
ship The captain OF this vessel was one of
those alert masters whose great ambition
1t Is TO make fast passages with a ship
that has no particular qualifications for
speed. The consequence was that all hands
were kept constantly at work on deck and
aloft making and shortening sail, according
to the whims Of the captain and the condi-
ton OF the weather. No ordinary gale,
however would deter him from carrying
topsail canvas, and one day when we were
rounding Hatteras with fair wind 1--WE
had been in an lrishman's hurricane right
up and down for several days previous, it
came on to blow so fresh that before we had
orders to ease her aloft the vessel became so
strained under the heavy press OF canvas
she began to leak.
"This state of affairs did not alarm the
captain and, trusting In providence, he re-
fused to reef, and kept the pot a-boiling
until we were approaching Sandy Hook,
when he gave orders to shorten sail The
ship was then leaking SO badly that the
entire Grew were set to work at the pumps
Tho captain, in the meantime, was looking
anxiouslY for a tugboat, and one at last
came in sight. For the benefit Of those who
are obllvious to the fact, may add that
tugboat captains are always on the lookout
for leakY vessels, and generally charge
exorbitant rates for service in cases of
emergency.
We'll, when the tug got within half a
mile OF us all hands were ordered by the
astute captain to scatter from the pumps
and appear as though nothing serious was
the matter. The plan succeeded, for the
tug boat man, after an unusually friendly
dicker with our captain. commenced TO wing
us into port under the usual charges. When
we had got well inside the Hook the captain
set every man jack at the pumps with re-
newed energy. Presently, however, the
tug boat man came out of his pilot house,
and, after scrutinizlDg our actions through
a marine glass for several minutes, the con-
dltion OF affairs gradually dawned upon his
inert mind. But how he felt when we
shortly afberward anchored in comparat-
lively shallow water and he began to think
OF the small fortune which was lost, but in
his grasp, will never be known His
Language was, however, aptly described by
an English tar as being lawful
1T seems as II the sea developed eccen-
tricities. or at all events maunerisms, in
men, and doctors are no exception to the
rule. Not many years ago l sailed on board
Liverpool packet with a ships surgeon
who had apparently been deeply impressed
with Dickens Jack Bunsby.' He was a
man Of the very fewest words. Speech was
not silver with him, but downright base
metal. He had formula In the one uusat-
isfaotory reply to all questions: Not know
ing, carn't saw He evidently had great
faith in this phrase for all the situations of
life, and 1t was admirably adapted To mis-
own acquaintance with his profession
Sometimes the effect Of this formula was
ludicrous aud yet opposite, as when a par
son inquired after his immortal soul, and a
frightened lady asked him If they were
going to the bottom.
II once saw this eccentric bone setter
endeavoring 20 lance large boil at night
on the end OF sailors nose in a gale OF
wind. The boil was one OF those large
swelltngs common to the west COAST Of
India in the mango season, and it looked
much like small pumpkin attached to
Jacks probosis. Big as it was the doctor
could not nip it off. The patient, in an
abbreviated garment land shoeless, olung
desperately 20 the post of his bunk, while
the surgeon, holding on TO another post,
made frantic darts at the nose which the
violence Of the ships motion rendered
always abortive. At last, however, there
was a second of steadiness when the vessel
stood on an even keel. and the doctor think
ing that now was his time, made such a
desperate dab at poor jacks nose that the
tip OF that organr.,was, completely ampu-
tated. With Jack howlirg}like a Bengal
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