The Portland daily press., 1892-07-04

sew 'em on. You bust your buttons off,
terrible, hangin on that ole dory O
mine, up an down ev'ry time yer use
her; an faint huff fer me to, but Jim,
he's got to go a-bustin 'em off my cloes
COS he hain't got huff of his own to his
back. I couldn't never learn to sew,
somehow. I'll tell yer how it is-it's
this way: You take piece O. cloth, an
you clap button onto one side of it, an
then you so to work an try to navigate
through from t'other side with a needle,
an eff you don't stave the point off ev'ry
single time I'll swaller it!
''Old lady down to Moose island,
where l come from, last winters done
my button sewing for two years back,
an comes kinder rough on me doing of
it myself. Jim he'd oughter to know
how to sew, didn't he now? But he
don't. I says to him sometimes, 'Jim,' I
says, you'd orter be ashamed, big ez
you be an can't sew But don't do no
good, only makes him madden n set
tin hen. Allus does when get foul er
any O. his lacks. But he's good Teller,
Jim is, ony he amt never been brought
up right. 1t makes a lot O difference
to teller whether he's been brought
up"
Fridays critic was spread out at COM
Portable length in his chair, worrying
his fur cap tirelessly as he talked.
81 don't mean that kind O. fetchin up
the big bugs set out to have" he ex-
planned, warming up to new idea.
''My gracious! there's one or two houses
I go into sometimes, summer folks down
to Moose island, in town for winters. I
ben to 'em. know how they done!
Yer can't tell me! Why, 'gwin there
awhile an seems ez eff should dwup
thro' the ruff, makes me so deuced on
comfortable. So stan up an p'ticler
them kind O folks is, yer can't fetch a
step but what yer come down on some
er their notions. Good Lord! in some
of them rixtocratic houses yer have ter
split bean t eat it. Eff want sunni t.
eat I druther eat off'n the floor than be
SO awful slow and mannery. Now, I
like to come over here, yer don't have
ter act anyhow.
'Now, I'll tell yer, did yer ever no.
tice," balancing his cap on one fist and
beating it around and around with the
other) ''it's jest this way-sometimes yer
have an awful sight better time when it
don't cost nothin than We do when it
does. That's what's the matter. Now
I'll tell yer. L set out to go to Yarmouth
on Il Sunday to see my cousin, Maria
Collins, an SO staid over till Monday.
Well, I'll be blamed eff ever he'd a bet
ter time in my life; an do ye believe, the
whole thing didn't cost fifteen cents.
Nor couldn't tell ter save me what I
done, only set roun an LATED, an dunno
what was laff'n at. Maria's tearer
and she makes things human SOS her
children. Terrible nice children.
Give ben places where I'd git rid of
fifteen dollars an wisht all the whole
time hadn't went. There's lots O.
things you pay for that's poor invest
ments, specially parties and
presents. Now I'll tell yer. went to
party down to Moose Neck, an me an
mother Teller we laid out five dollars for
the two of us, an blamed if it warn't a
clean fizzle. My boots was too small,
pinched awful, an there was too many
| girls. Eff there's one thing hate, it's
too many girls at a party. An I hahn t
went to another party since. An just
see what I laid out, now, compared to
Maria's, an didn't get no lastin satisfac-
| ton!
81 guess I'll be goin now. Jim he'll
be cussin an jawin an lookin out the
door ev'ry little while t see eff I'm COM
in, but soon ez heaye in sight under
them tower steps, he'll in and slam the
door an make believe not know I'm
aroun. Oh, he's sly one, Jim is.
Well, good night; I guess I'll be goin.
Hope to see you over to my house, some
O. these nice nights. Well, / made a
visit, hain't I, this timel Eff ye stan up
it's call, an eff ye set down it's visit.
Well, guess I'll be goin. Good night!'
Boston Transcript.