The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1892-01-01
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Where hard work kills one man worry
buries dozen.
An orator likes to be called "breezy,"
but never windy.
Tits better to have loved and lost than
never to have lost at all.
-Bashful young men ought to practice
sparkling with dumb-bells.
There is screw loose so mewhere
when a steamship has lost its propelling
power.
Deans Rheumatic Pills absolutely cure rheu.
matism neuralgia. Entirely vegetable. Safe.
You can't tell by the length of
mans face what he will do in horse
trade.
1t isn't safe to handy words with
chemist. He is pretty sure to have re-
tort ready.
There's a great art" says Mickey
Dolan, sin KNOWN what not to know
whin yez don't want to know
it."
-Client-''What makes you so certain
that you will be able to break the
will?' Lawyer lin whisper)-'1
drew it."
Hands wanted on boys trousers"
is the daily advertisement in the news
papers. Twas ever thus from child
hoods hour.
There is plenty of room at the top"
That may account for the number of
young business enterprises we read of
''going up"
Lane's Family Medicine Moves the Bowels
Each day. Most people need to use it.
At the night school.-Teacher-
Nov give me your attention" Pupil
you'll have to excuse me. I'm street
car conductor"
Manager at the dime-'What's the
matter with the bridge jumper" Attend
ant-"He stepped off the platform and
broke his ankle"
-She-"Oh by the way, can you tell
me, George He-'My darling, l
know nothing about it. You seem to
forget that am railroad man."
Returned traveler-"How do you do,
my little dear? Is your father still the
rector of this church?' Little girl-"Oh,
no, sir. He's been concentrated a
bishop"
Rare Sport. -Mabel-"Have you ever
noticed how Polly Wanted is making
game of young Mr.. Cashly?" Maud-"If
you mean that she's hunting him-why,
yes"
-"What drove this poor man insane,
doctOr?" He tried to figure out his wife
reasons for setting the clock ahead when
eyer she wished to get up early"
ave know not whence the east wind
comes nor whittier it goes, =" but we know
it brings terrible colds. However, we
won't despond as long as DR.. Bulls
Cough Syrup is at the front.
An average man of fifty has spent
5000 days, or nearly twenty years, in
sleep. To a club man who sits up with
poker that seems an enormous amount of
time to waste in bed.
-Dasher-"Why do you wear such aw-
fully loud trousers. old fellow" Washer
$50 that l cawn't heah my tailor when
he comes around to collect the bill, don't
cher know"
-"Visitor-''Do you take notes when
you preach, sir?'' Country Parson (sigh-
ing) "When can get EN-. But in this
parish it's mostly garden truck and a
donation"
-"Prisoner, you are charged with
neglecting your family" "Itis all wrong,
Judge; all wrong. Haven't missed glvin'
'em good hckin' all round every day
for year"
-Caller-"Is your wife in, Mr.. Nabor?''
Nabor-'No, she has just run over to
Mrs. Calls for five minutes. Can you
spare the time to wait a couple of hours
till she gets back?"
Charles (who has stayed late)-"Oh,
Miss De Freeze. I've an ideal" Miss De
Freeze-"Well, an idea is not much good
unless you carry it out" He took the
hint and his hat.
Are you pretty we'll acquainted with
your mother tongue my boy?' asked the
school teacher of the new scholar. Eyes,
SIR" answered the lad, timidly: 'ma jaws
me good deal, sir"
-Skipley's partners got onto what he
was doing and he had to make himself
scarce" "Ah! It's scarcity then, that
led his partners to offer $4,000 for the
capture of so worthless person."
-Grocer-"Have you any references
young manP" Applicant flor job as sales
man)-''No, sir, but I can tie up pack
age of sugar with knot that the custom
er can't unite in half an hour"
Prudent Papa.-"You said that
might learn my fate tonight" She
"Well, spoke to papa and he told me t.
wait. He wants to consult Mr.. Brad
street first, though don't know hin
at ALL"