Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-03-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The bank -wrecker may be bailed out;
but the bank itself goes down in the deep
sea of distress.-Puck.
You can't agree with bigot without
agreeing with him in thinking that you're
a fool.-Elmira Gazette.
It is we'll for the email man to practise
until he knows how to apologize grace
fully.-Somerville Journal.
Charity may begin at home, but it is
wiser for ubscription-seekers to call at a
business mans otfice.-Puck.
1t doesn't follow that becarse man is
a master of dead languages he has kill
ing style of speech. Post.
One of the queerent things we ever
heard was regarding matchmaker who
slept on pallet.-Jewelers' Circular.
Both men and women have their fail
ings. With men it is The big head; with
women, the big hat.-Boston Transcript.
The snare of drum is not dangerous.
1t is the snare of the willy drummer that
you want to look out for.-Boston Post.
1t does not necessarily follow because
a clergyman is affected that his hearers
will be affected by mis- ermons.--Boston
Transcript.
After much solicitation, the German
Government has decided not to send the
Watch on the Rhine to the Worlds Col
umbian Exposition. Jewellers Circular.
Why does she wriggle and squirm around
And look so i'll at ease?
RecauSa the ministeriS looking at her
And she's trying not to sneeze.
New York Herald.
Life is made of compensations. By
the time a man is old enough to realize
what a lot he does not kaow he is too
old to worry over lt.-Lndianapolis
Journal.
Mr.. Fligg--"Tommy, my son, do you
know that it gives me as mucn pain as it
does you when punish youa" Tommy
-"Well, there's some satisfaction in
that, anyhow. ."-The Comic.
~ wish I hadn't eaten that APPLE"
said Fatty, ruefullly. ''Why, was it
bad one2" swell, 1 believe it was
spelling for fight, " and his face took
on look of pain. Joseph News.
He--'Do you think there is any
truth in the saying, Distance makes the
heart grow fonder2'" She-''rm sure
of it. 1 like you ever So much better
when you are away. ."--Brooklyn Eagle.
Mrs. Wick wire-"Just think of it'll
Mrs. Bragg's husband accompanies his
wife whenever she goes shopping. Isn't
he good?" Mr.. Wickwire-"H'm NH !
I've got more confidence in my wife than
that "-Indianapolis Journal.
| 1t is little odd about life insurance.
It is universally admitted that the good
die young, but no company cares to take
| risk i n the bad man, when if the con-
verse of tie proverb be true, he ought to
| live till all is blue. Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Blackhills displaying his collec-
ton of Indian curios) THAT is speci-
men of the war paint of the Sioux. l
brought it when came home from my
last trip" Fair Visitor-s'Ah, yes, /
see; sort of Sioux veneer. Boston
| Post.
Did it ever occur to you that Colum-
bns was in very melancholy state of
mind when he was on his voyage to the
New World9 If not, remember what
the old song says, ''In 1892 Columbus
crossed the ocean blue. Boston Tran
script.
Not Entirely Sure: Father-"Well,
Tommy, how do you think you will like
this little fellow for brotherg" Tom
my inspecting the new infant somewhat
donbtfully)-"Have we got to keep him,
papa, OF is he only samplea"-Chicago
Tribune.