The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1892-01-01

gsry zi,siy D.ss IN Ari.ens rsw,pabs'

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Bery 1ivsly Days IN Arizonh Neutpnp1r
WE MEAN BUSINESS. ~ Our contemporary
came out last week and laid claim TO .
bona flde circulation Of o.t0O copies. We
are willing that he shall do . reasonable
amount Of lying, but such stupendous fall
styling must cease
Wen bet 500 to go that he HASN'T got
LOO circulation.
Wen bet 500 TO e25 that he HASN'T got
500.
Wen bet 500 TO cent that his actual
circulation, counting In all deadheads, Is
not over $50
Further. well give him onr check for
n00 IL be dares to take advantage Of any Of
the above opportunities to make more
money than he has seen for twenty years
before
y or COURsE. "A Massachusetts subscriber
20 The Kicker writes TO ask II there are
any churches in this locality. Does he Inn
agine us to belong to the Cannibal islandsf
or course there are That Is, there Ii one
around somewhere, and we've heard talk
or another. n the writer had read bis copy
Of The Kicker as closely as he ought lie
would have remembered the case where
Shorty Pete SAT on the church steps and
put bullet through Hank Jackson's nose
thirty yards away Chnrchesi Wcshotild
smilel Services have not been hald very
regularly since old Haaa DAVIS spent one
whole night breaking out the windows
but the boys are liable to catch a preacher
most any day and put him vt work.
"a CANARD. The story afioat on the
streets yesterday to the effect that we
had finally killed the postmaster In this
town must have been started to affect
prices on the mule market. There was
not the least bit Of truth in It, There isn't
the slightest excuse for his living, but we
suppose be will continue to do so III oriler
to spite the G0000,000 inhabitants Of she
United States We can't see any other o.
ject.
While on this subject it may lie wei foS
us to remark that we shall visit the post
master tomorrow to- inquire why In Texas
It @kes four days for copy Of The Kicaer
to get down the road twelve miles, He'll
fly mad as usual, and will quite likely at
tempt to draw his gun on us II he does
We shall very likely decide to kill him and
have done with it. Everybody says we
have delayed the matter altogether too
long for the good Of the postotice depart
ment.
No SToP understand that Colonel
Smiley, who has been down on The Kicker
ever since we showed that the capital mud
assets OF 1.-THE Great Arizona Land Conn
pany', consisted solely Of two acres Of sand
and pair of long legged boots, spent more
than two hours the other day trying TO get
Jim Taylor to stop his subscription to this
paper The object was to make MS feel
bad, but it didn't work Jim not only
dotes on The Kicker, but can't hardly wait
for publication day to come around Be
sides he tried It on us last summer, and
how did be come out2 It took rs half a
day to find him, but after he was found it
didn't take him two minutes to subscribe
again. We don't compel man TO sub
scribe, but after he's become subscriber
he has got to have mighty good reasons for
throwing up his hand. Indeed, he's got to
Owna mule that can outrun ours.
RETRAcTIoN. The policy of The Kicker
since the first issue has been to state
things fairly and truthfully, and whenever
we have. discovered that published item
has done any oneiniustice we have not been
slow to follow it with an explanation salts
factory to the party aggrieved. Last week
we had local item to the effect that some
miserable wretch had robbed Major Smiths
Glothesline of four shirts, and we indulged
in the hope that he would speedily be
caught and given dance on the head Of a
barrel.
IL seems that we were mistaken, and the
major feels that he has been placed in
false position to the public. The fact is, rs
he wishes us to state, he does not own four
shirts, but only two, and neither Of these isN
. white one They are old blue flannel
shirts, much the worse for wear What
was really stolen was Navajo blanket,
and we are glad to make this retraction
and set the major right before this com
munity.--M Quad in New York World?