Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-05-28
NOODLES GETS INTO TROUBLE.
Being Mistaken fur q Cciercd LADY. he sur
fers Co Clcthinr.

ssT TroN MY WORD, IT SEEMS TO ME-
- that some Of the adventures get into
are extremely embarrassing" said Noodles last
night at the Platypus Club.
Fright You arc, dear boy echoed half .
dozen Of the other follows. do tell Us, What
il the last2r
Just wait until I light my cigar. please.
Really, you know, it's rather painful 10 recall
the circumstance believe that called voar
attention to a suit OF clothes which purchased
from capital tailor in New York the Other
day. You know the one l mcau-the pale blus
plaid which had SO mucA trouble in matching
| with a necktie?"
"why. certainly" responded the boys in uni
son. THAT suit Of clothes Is the talk OF WASH
ington at present"
"well," continued Noodles. twirling his mus
tache, II think it is pretty much the cheese nv
self. However. I should rather put II in tho
past tense than in the present. and therein hss
the sadness OF the story was about 70 tell.
was going along lsih street yesterday i'm
| mersed IN thought"
Must have been over your head, )" interjected
Simpkins rudely.
AS was saving" added Noodles. without
| regarding the interruption. 81 was deeply on
gagged in Thought respecting a remarkably
| pretty girl who walking along on tho SANE
side OF the way about a quarter a block
ahead. lnasmuch as she was going In the same
direction could only see her back, and expe-
rience has Taught me that the rear view Of .
young woman l. extremely apt b. be deceptive.
Most of the girls I have pursued a. various
times in such wise have turned out 20 be eN-
eeptionally ugly from the diverse point Of
| view"
''Never heard of the diverse OF Q girl" sug-
gested Boggs grayely.
Newer mind. Ifyou viii allow me 20 con-
i tlDuo i will rpmarL HAT fuas \ ,r.a H.
| ing TO accelerate NV pace for the purpose Of
oNertaking the supposed fair \ gate in fence
That was passing was suddenly flung open and
| the entire contents Of what must have been .
very lrrge pan OF dish water were thrown di-
rectly upon my person. OF course. was eN-
tremely astonished and came TO an immediate
pause. rellnquishing all thoughts Of the Young
| lady ahead, while the gate was slammed to ina
an instant, and heard voice from the other
side saw:
"'oh, Lordy! done 81
/ "'lou are quite correct I assented speak
| ing from the outside of the fence. Further
more, lind myself completely and most un-
pleasantly soaked. BE kind enough 60 let ma
| have few cloths as quickly ~ possible with
which TO wipe myself on. IL you feel any he,i-
| tation about opening the gate you may chuck
| them over the fence
The mild way in which spoke In iucod the
African female who had thrown the slops 10
| unbar the portal and admit me 20 the garden
where she and two small pickaninnie- .pr,.surna-
bly, her offspring, proceeded TO remove from
| my garments what they could Of the objection
able fluid which had bedowed them. Their
| labors were SO far effective that seemed 20 be
considerably worse of when they hal finished
than when they began.
Use awful grieved, sah' said the woman,
| alphabetically, as she removed some soup frag-
| ments from my coat pockets. Pact is | mis-
took YOU for a colored lady Of ma 'quaintance.'
1.-The deuce you didr replied.
L eyes sab Dar IL n cplt,rad ladv yxh lires
round de corner of de alley. She an amt
| frien's. Two or tree times we've had q Scrip
pie in de street, an moren half oh dc back hair
| she's wearin' today once Belonged TO me. I
| have her rested Tuesdays and she has me took
| up Saturdays. DE rest of de week
| "fou are not on speaking terms,' sug-
| gested.
| "'No, sab. We throw things. I seen her GO
/ by jus five minutes ago with a shawl ober her
| haid like as if she gon' to de grocery shop
| on de corner. So, s'posin' dat she a soon come
| back. fetched de pan OBJ Stops an saws 20 de-
| chilun: "You, Frederick William an Caroline
Evangelina, open de gate quick when tell YOU
an wei spoil de looks OBJ dat oolored lady when
| she comes along.
$50 you were lying in waitr exclaimed, Q
better understanding Of the occurrence dawn
| ing upon me.
YES, sab We sposed she'd be back inside
| er bout TO minutes. BY an by we thought ws
heerd her footprints, an jus as dey got oppo-
| site de gate
| "'You let me have il in the neck inter-
| rupted- While approaching the effectiveness
| of your method of organizing an ambusosde. I
| might perhaps suggest that its operation could
| be with advantage q trihe less indiscriminats.
| For example, some sort of watch tower might
be improyised from which Caroline Evangellns
| or-er-Frederick William would be able b
survey the neighbOrhood and give accurate and
timely notice OF the approach of friend or foe
| This moist substance on the brim Of my hat L
| take to be a remnant of mashed potato VIII
you not kindly make an effort to remove itY'
| well dear bows" continued Noodles light
ing a fresh cigarette. latter being cleaned up as
/ well as was practicable under the circumstances
once more emerged upon the street. Two
/ doors from the nearest corner found q re-
| markably fat colored woman seated on the front
| steps of house. her face buried in her hands
and apparently in great suffering. her body be-
| ing agitated as with irrcpressible sots. For
| getting my own woes in part. asked her what
| L could do TO relieve her. when. TO my Hstonish-
ment, she suddenly leaped 10 her feet and began
capering about on the sidewalk. indGlsing the
while in hysterical ordinations.
woman, said finally, pray tell me what
/ is the matter with you. 80 1 may have some
| thing done for il if possible
"My remark seemed to I'm her somewhat.
and she sat down on the steps again. still laugh
ing Historically. while the tears stren med from
| extent and said:
"'She t'rowed de Stops onto vou?'
"'She certainly did. admitted.
"'Dey was meant fer me- said the woman
| oh. gollyi L shall bust sure-yah. yah, yabr
| Then she began screaming again ~ before.
$50 you are the other party 70 the Disagree
| ment of which am the victim I responded.
| not entering into the humOr OF the thing at all
Not getting any further reply from the con-
vulsed heap of senseless mirth on the doorstep.
| / pursued NV way homeward. sncRking around
| by the back streets and attracting no attention
| save from two messenger boys engaged in
playing top. one of whom pointed AZ me and
remarked: Say, Billy, that's the sickest looking
dude ever see.'
BILLY looked me over while he wound his
| top and said: He's been sleepin' all night in
| the gutter. Where a cop?
eat present / am wondering how my blue
| plaid suit of clothes will look when IL comes
home from the cleaners"