Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-09-18
THE GOSSIP OF POLITICS.
tFRoM A STAFF CORRESPONDENT. |

l A
The political market is looking up. Both
| bulls and bears begin to frisk about, tearing
up the sod and cavorting up and down, as if
snorting and growing and kicking up clouds
| of dust really served definite purpose.
There will be more noise and more dust this
| week. To sensitive ears and weak eyes this
is business. People are inclined to accept a
| political campaign as they do the Fourth of
| July, on the strength of the noise and the
| smell OF burning powder.
The fact is. however, the real work is con-
cealed beneath this rush and rattle, just as
the vital work of an attacking force is done
under cover of furious commanding. In
military parlance it is diversion. In poll
tics it is diverting. No man who is not sit
ting up nights splitting his head over the
possible results can lounge around head
quarters and witness the coming and going.
hear the slappity banging, note the curious
anxiety and rustic about rumors and rain
bows without being diverted. If such a
man can see no amusementin it he is devoid
of the sense of humor
Nobody Reads the Documents.
Four-fifths of politics is humbug and
probably the biggest humbug in politics is
the document" The political document is
the humbug of humbugs. This because it
humbugs the reader the writer and the
sender The reader isn't humbugged to any
considerable extent because he doesn't read
the document In this wise course he hum
bugs those who write, those who pay for
and those who send the document. Yet the
reader loves to receive the document be-
cause it is recognition of his political
entity. That is ali there is in it. He knows
1t is humbug, but clamors for it and is
offended II he doesn't get it. We know the
smiles and w1les OF the summer girl are
humbug, brit we drop the most enticinc
game of short cards to get them. We can't
use them in our business, but we want them
just the same.
1t is to crafty this extraordinary affection
for the document that the Government
spends millions OF dollars annually. 1t is to
try to satisfy this craving for campaign
literature that millions OF documents are
distributed during every national contest.
have seen thousands of people who have
received documents. l never yet saw q
man who read one. l never heard of a
single well authenticated case of a document
getting IN its work on the reasoning powers
of voter. Not a doc.
How People Appreciate Them.
When l was boy my father had long
been secretary of county agricultural
society in thriving section of Western
State. He was alsoa politician of local note
He had great deal to do with documents
and incidentally 1 became disseminator of
such literature at a very early age. In fact,
carried on perpetual campaign of educa-
tion. Nor will 1 ever forget the difficulties
experienced in getting people, farmers
mechanics, laborers, etc., TO take these docu-
ments off our hands. My father at first
made 1t rule to send every man who called
at our house away with document This
worked moderately well until the ei5hbors
ceased to Call or remained on the other side
OF tho fence. They began to regard the
document in the light OF punishment.
Hes y'r feyther got any move o. them
books at y'r house:" an old man once asked
me across the front gate one Saturday.
On, yes; SAID L encoura$ingly, we've
got a whole smokehouse lull!"
"1e heyl Wall-me'n Liz was comm over
to-morrer of we didt hev TO take no books
Johnny and the dog he'd some lun with ther
others and throwed the leaves with picters of
peaches an apples and things oyern the COW
yard to fool the COWS, and dot rot it eff our
ilkellest heller didn't nearly choke herself
to death on 'em."
When the books began to accumulate
used to lug load to Sunday school al the
schoolhouse and surreptitiously drop them
IN the farm wagons while the owners of the
wagons were 1nnocently singing and praying
within. Some OF these books were profusely
and recognized the excellent
results OF my campaign of education as soon
as saw the prints tackled up against the
Kitchen walls everyw here about the country.
L finally told my iather OF the apparent re-
luctance of the people to be educated by
documents. He finally Succumbeu and re-
signed his secretaryship.
Where Lots of Money Is Spent.
In the distribution of political documents
the National Committees and Congressional
Committees and State Committees now ex-
pend more energy and money than in any
other branch of campaigning. They attempt
to cover every demand from whatever
source. The Republican National Commit
tee has five-story building full of docu-
ments and operators. The Democratic Com
mittee sends its documents mainly from
Washington. Both the State Committees on
street run document rooms
the Democratic League OF clubs runs an ex.
tensiye concern in the basement of No. IL,
and the anti-snappers, Republican Tariff |
League, Democratic Reform League, etc,
run separate documentary establishments
Not less than l,O0O persons are at present in |
New ork, packing, directing, handling and |
documents to the voters of the |
This is mostlya wholesale bust |
ness, too, the documents being shipped in |
bulk 10 State and County Committees, clubs. |
ETC., to be addressed individually. The
document clerk at No. IL Twenty-fourth |
street told me they had a call from the |
n orth Woods for 5000 copies OF the force |
bill. Millions of documents on the tariff are |
going out.
There is, as matter of fact, Just e. single.
small class OF voters for the document to !
operate upon with benefit to the party, and |
that is the class made up of "hoatersn The
partisan never reads cam |
Dalgn literature, and it wouldn't do him or |
MS party. any good if he did read it. The
'11oater" is apt to be crank or an idiot If
| crank he wouldn't read-if an idiot he
couldn't. so the so-called campaign of |
education, so far as documents 90, is the
biggest kind of humbug. The newspaper
s the great educator of this age. There are
more people who read a single great news
paper every day in the year than will read
I'll the documents distributed during this
campaign: Ana the newspaper places the
points at issue IN terse and easily understood
it comes at it a.ain and again. it
meets adversaries on level ground: il is
never sluggish, rhetorical, prosy or long
Dlndeo. A little country newspaper has
more influence than all the Official literature
hat could be dumped upon county.
The Grandfather's Hat Once More.
His grandiather's hat seems to be destined
% again bear an important part in the Presi-
l entail campaign, If anything IS to be in
erred from the samples submitted by
'nterprisins manufacturers of campaign
'utfits. Perhaps it W ould be a violent con-
fusion that Harrison is talking through
lis hat" but it looks that way. Colonel ].
. Ciarkson has on exhibition at SIS an extra
ordinary affair in the shape of q bell
rowned high roller straw some eight inches
Ugh with blue white and red band around
t that would scare a circus horse. do not
now whether Colonel Ciarkson wears it as
regular thing. 1t has his card ON the IN
ide. 1t may be of the political vintage of
SSs, and that it is now exhibited to show
hat Clarkson is still in the ring notwith- |
landing his Disagreement. There are other
arieties of the same hat in felt more or less
educed to modern ideas of male fashions |
he young mems club styles are not dis
im1Iar in shape to the upper Broad way and
,owery silk heaag ear of several years ago. |
III ey are extremely wooly and of a dirty |
White complexion. They are evidently in
ended to be brushed the wrong way with u
urry-comb.
Tom Carter a Thousand Ahead.