Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-09-15
snrinIxies OF spice.

men haven't any
Life.
CUSTOMER - Haven't you made
those pants too short? Tailor--Der
pants vas all right; but your legs vas
too iong.-Texas Siftings.
THERE will be more stumpage to
the acre in the treeless prairie States
during the campaign than there ever
was in the pine forests.-Binghamton
Republican.
NATURALIsTs say that a single
swallow will devOur 10000 hies In
one day. A single swallow can down
good many good resolutions, too
st. Paul Globe.
SOCIETY REPoRTER-Mrs. Skihigh
complains the picture we printed
does not look bit like her. Editor
That's lucky. We can use 1t for some
one else then.-Tid-Bits
YABsLY-Do they set pretty appe-
tizing meals at your house, Nudge!
Nudge = Appetizing? O, yes. A
fellow gets up hungrier than when he
sat down. Indianapolis Journal.
SoUTHsEA ETIQUETTE. = He--Do
you know that woman over there?"
She-"Weu, yes and-er-no. IL
meet her full face, / bow; If / meet
her profile don't see her. Judy.
AS THE mistress of the most popu-
lous empire in the world, Queen Vic
toria even excels the ordinary woman
in the number of subjects she can
talk about. Philadelphia Times.
81 HATE Smithwick," says Brown
stone, "and l am glad his boy Is
musical" "Why?" asked his friend.
because / am going to give him an
accordion. Boston Transcript.
HUNGRY HIGGINs-Ple mister,
can you gimme 10 cents to help me
| buv a "Drink?" NAV, a loco
motive. 1 see in the papers that
good locomotive earns 500 day. =
indianapolis Journal.
WEARY WATKINs-I'ye just fig
pered out what I'd orter been. Hun
gry Higgins-We!l, wot? Weary Wat
kins-I think I'd make first-class
rich invalid. indianapolis Journal.
TEASING Friend-What makes that
new baby at your house cry so much,
Tommy? Tommy Qndignantly)-lt
don't cry so very much-and, anyway,
If all your teeth was out, and your
hair off and your legs so weak that
YOU couldn't even stand on them L
guess you'd feel like crying yourself!
Life.
GEORGE BILLING-Do you know,
, the physicians declare that kissing Is
, apt to produce disease called-Ive
forgotten the name-but- Maude
/ Cooling mind, George;
} I've been vaccinated.-
> WIFE-My goodness! How did you
: lose your eye? Was it one Of those
, horrid boys with an air gun? There
7 Is n law against Husband-No;
3 this was all right and legal. 1t was
: a woman with an umbrella.-Puck.
A FEW years ago there was a man
= in Deyonshire who had six or seven
!, very corpulent daughters. When
asked how many children he had hi:
answer was generally something Of
! this kind: Il have three boys ano
" about thirteen hundred weight Of
girls. "-Tid-bits.
b BESSIE NORRIS (coquettishly)-"Pn
Is not crowding you, am IL Have you
r plenty of room?" Ed Stillman (stu
n pidlyl-"Oh, yes-thanks; I'm just a
is comfortable as though you were no
1T there. Exchange.
le LITTLE BoBBY-"Mamma,t the boy
n. is goin' to have circus. May l act?
to Mamma-"Oh, / suppose so. VIVA
or are YOU to do?" Little Bobby
Id aNothin' much They is going {
t. have a pyramid of sixteen boys an a
IL has to do is to stand on top. Goo
u News.
t. IL SEE by that sign," said the ma
ty in the chair to the barber, that yo
a hone razors for private use" 1e
ne sir. Have you some that you wal
ed honed?" mo; but l was wonderln
lis why you didn't hone the razors yo
de use on your customers. "-Brookly
us Life.
Mrs. BooDLER-@It is burnir
shame that my husband was defeatt
=" when he ran for alderman. Half I'll
"a. people in the city would have halle
iiU his election with Joy" Mrs. NabC
to | -"COnSOle yOuTSoll, my uOoi hSir
~ Dor, with the thought that the 9th
~ half of the people are rejoicing tn
10 he was defeated. Texas Siftings.
no. Mrs. A. Ito lady friend)-"How
me YOU do, Amy? l have not seen y
n y for an age. How are you, dear
NV Amy-"Very well, thanks" Mrs.
m. sand how is your husband?" Al
md -"Well--er-did you not hear tn
la we were divorced two months age
nc, Mrs. A.-"Oh, then he is all rigl
&c too" And now they don't spe
roe when they pass by.-Exchange.
'ea- REV. DIR. PRIMRosE-Pm glad
mt. hear that your husband has given
ses oeion stealing. 1t is some comic
I'm. r me TO feel that perhaps my pc
ter words have had something to do wi
mn his reform. Mrs. Johnson =
,ots wasn't de reason, sab. Yo' see
late de poo man wuz gettin' kotcf
ons ebery time. New York Sun.
Itch THE spectators stand in gre
heir round the wife of the tanner, ask
nos questions. Said one; "Is 1t tr
the madam, that a lion costs as much
lure 5, 600 francs?" That depends; tn
use are lions and lions" Il mean y
n to lions; Brutus, for instance, how mi
Il Mould mt n