Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-05-10
LOOSHA'S LOVERS.

the sterner sex is uniformly sharp, incisive
and superior She has no patience with
the men, she is won't to say-their ways
are such. Yet she possesses swarms of fol-
lowers. Foolish house flies gravitate ire
sistibly toward the delusive square of
brown paper, well smeared with mixture
of rosin and treacle, and known to house
wives under the euphonious name of
"Catch-em-alive or In the same way ELI
gible young men of her own rank in life are
drawn to Loosha. She takes possession of
them, body and SOUL seemingly without |
effort. Her tenderest epithets are soft"
and ''looby" and if she has been followed |
in fear, she is courted in trembling. The |
livers of the most audacious wooers turn |
to water at her frown. It is certain that |
no male creature ever asserted and exer-
cised a mastery over Looshas proud spirit |
until the railway guard appeared upon
the scene Still l used to think, in the
days before her Cousin Dave was sent to
Bermuda, that if Loosha entertained a
tenderness, it was for that burly, good ma
tured, somewhat dull witted giant.
Dave was full private in the Foot
Guards and steady going soldier enough,
though there were times when as his aunt,
Mrs. Hemmans, said, "his spirits got the
better of him" Whether the article in
question was native, Irish or Scotch she
did not explain-perhaps because through
out the duration of that thirsty madness,
to recurrent attacks of which the young
defender of his country was subject, he
would cheerfully avail himself of any
beverage that came in his way, provided it
possessed the simple qualifications of burn
ing in the gullet as it went down and get
ting into the head afterward. 1t was while
under the influence of some such potable
that Private Hemmans conceived and exc
cuted that project of desertion from his
regiment which heaped upon his family
irretrievable disgrace and bowed Loosha's
gray 'airs with sorrow to the grave, as that
jetty locked young person declared i'm
pressively.
The recreant was sought, officially and
formally without success 1t was sur
missed that he had left the country-that
he had been waylaid and murdered even;
but this theory Loosha Indignantly re
fused to accept. A young fellow who
could bend a kitchen poker on the muscle
of his forearm and bite neat semicircle
out of pewter pot was not, Loosha
averred, to be kidnapped and "galoted"
(by which we will presume she meant gar
roted). Let others abandon hope who
would Something told Loosha that Dave
was only lying low and that she should
set her eve on him yet. 1t may be men
toned that Loosha's eye is not to be joked
about. 1t possesses gimletlike attributes
of boring through mysteries, together
with an elastic property which enables II
to take the exact measure Of any person
who may approach Loosha with Interior
designs upon her family, herself or the
property of her employers.
1t will move on a tramp quicker than a
J I e..
''ramping mad" cab horse, in the very act
of running over Loosha, to pull up short
She is conscious of its power and boasts Of
it. She did not underrate its abilities IL
the case of Dave. 1t pounced on him fal
conwise and singled him out from among
a knot of loafers at the bar of shady pub
tic house in one of the purlieus AUDITING
ON Hammersmith Broadway. How Loo
sha came to be wandering alone in such |
vicinity has never yet been explained. 1
was her afternoon out, and she may hav'
been following up clew. AT any rate
there she was, and there was Dave basel.
oblivious of his queen, his country and hi
cousin, arrayed in kaleidoscope attire an'
gloomily standing drinks all around.
ITO a pretty lotl'' as Loosha said after
ward; "most Of 'em lookin as if they'
dossed in their clothes for months past
and done with dry polish by way Q
washin. As for Dave, | should "a consid
cred my kitchen tongs defiled with his cor
tack His uniform clothes was gone, a
he'd old pair o. velveteen kickshers on a
must "a belonged to a railway wheel tar
per out o. luck as had smothered hisseH !
his own grease pot. And he'd shodd
tweed Jacket out at ELDERS, buttoned u
tight to 'ide Us army rasper technical We
nacular for the blue linen ticking garner
provided by grateful nation for its d.
fender), an an old Scotch cap. 'E wa
lookin 'angdog enough when just
clapped my eve on i'm; but when calml
bounced in and stood before him like
avengin angel, cheap was not the word f
what that Teller felt. Ib'lieve if he coul
"a shrunk up small enough to 'ide in a spi
toon he'd "a done il"
GOOD afternoon, Private Hemmans,"
says, throwing i'm sheer. YOU'RE 'avi
an enjyable furlough, amt you"
"Furlough be bustedw sezee, seein thu
there was nothin for it but to bounc
1--WE cut the old gals service, and I'm
free man. Not bloomin white nigg
pipeclayin belts on a shillin day, al
BLOWN myself out on chaff bread and chez
taters, COW cabbage an billed beef, to Il
tune that the old orse died of. IL eve
'orse as as been consumed by the rel
ment since it was regiment" e say
"was TO drag me, amt a-goin back. Bic
ON me il you like" sezee; but know y
,aven't the art to do it,"
81 amt goin to blow on YOU" / sa,
ffxin him with my eye You're a-goin
blow on yourself"
"Wot words are these, Loosha He
mansp sezee.
"Simpularly," says i, that you're age
to come along with me, now directly mi
ute, to barracks, and give yourself up"
"Hol' sezee, 's that your little gamei
! my little game" | answers, land you
likewise"
At that a fubsy old party in drink a
an oilskin cape--as was treating two
males you couldn't call nothing else We