Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1892-03-03
WOMEN who Do NOT WASH
That Is Why They Don't Have
Good Compilations.
LADY WlLDE'S STRONG VOICE
How to Reform an Intem-
perate Husband.


Special Correspondence OF Gazette and journal
NEW YoRy, Feb. 26.--The effort to be
beautiful has come like wave over all
the women in this country. There are
shops that call themselves temples OF
beauty, that announce wondrons creams
and liquids that will make ordinary, every
day women modern Venuses, and there
are men, women and so-called doctors who
are going TO re-create womankind. They
little know the subjects upon which they
have TO work.
WOMEN ARE LIKE MONKEYS.
Woman Is naturally like monkey. She
does not take gracefully to cleanliness;
with her It Is much of an educated taste as
olives or truffies shed rather worry over
some nasty smelling mess to make her
skin look white than go in for taking a
bath every morning, and she'd rather
fiddle with some vile grease to work
wrinkles Oft her face than cultivate a
happy temper, which is really tho only
sure preventive of the marks of time.
Somebody says that hardheartedness,
which Is an absolute giving up of all emo
tons, will stop the wrinkles, but doubt
this / know women hard enough, as far
as their hearts are concerned, 10 serve for
milestoncs and yet the unamiable marks
come Just under their eyes. A woman will
.gush over. beautiful complexion, and yet
she is entirely too lazy to cultivate it; she
will take bath one morning, then stop
Tor three, and when she is shamed into
being absolutely and perfectly clean, il is
usually because she has got married and
the man has been the cause of ii. There
are five or six truths in this world, and
this is one of them. Men are a thousand
times more cleanlv than women.
HOW SOME WOMEN WASH.
The average woman's idea of washing is
to take towel, dip the end of il in some
water rub some soap on it, then dab it
round her face and neck and trust that the
rest won't show. | tell you, and / am
speaking ex cathedra, that when women
learn to tub, to scrub, to use big sponges,
big towels, plenty Of soap and buckets of
hot water, followed by showers and sprays
of cold, then they will all have beautiful
competitions, and. best of all, good tenn.
pers. OF course. there are dirty men.
APRoPos OF OSCAR wILpE's FAMILY.
don't know why dirt always suggests
the Wilde family TO me. Oscar was big
and clean-looking. To be sure, he did say
that dust is the bloom of time.' In that
case, q deal Of it must have bloomed on his
late father, from the stories they tell in
Dublin about him. II is said that one
night at dinner at the Castle man
who was looking very dragged-out had
been telling that he had Just crossed the
Channel, and that was the reason for his
appearance. Another man said to him
oh you must have had n very bad time
Of it?' The traveller answered: 81 never
saw such q dirty night in my life." A
voice from the other cad OF the table said
ibid some one mention Sir William
WildeW l trust the American nation
does not need key to this joke.
HER VOICE WAS STRONG.
Lady Wilde is very tall woman with
very deep voice, and Brough, the come
dian, says the, funniest experience he ever
had was at the theatre when Oscar took
him to introduce him TO his mother. In
his sweet, low, velvety voice, the apostle
of art murmured, Mother ] want to have
the pleasure Of introducing Mr.. Brough to
you" A deep, sepulchral voice an
nounced, II am glad to meet Mr.. Brough,"
and frightened him so that lie almost fell
over. However, Lady Wilde was the only
woman in Dublin who had anything that
compared to the salons run by the literary
women of New York; those diabolical en-
tertainments where everybody does some
thing.
rnE EXPERIENCE or YOUNG CHAP
at one Of these was very funny. He had
come. from his country place to spend
week or so in Dublin, and was invited to
Lady Wilde's, and, being very polite, he
went. He was announced with great
dignity-well. We. will call bin Mr.. Ros-
common. His hostess was dressed in
tarletan. fiounced to her waist, each flounce
lbeing different hue, 80 that she looked
ilike six feet of rainbow. She said to him,
l"Mr. Roscommon, do you sing?' With a
iregretful bow, he said, mo, madam"
.'Mr. Roscommon, do you recite2' An
other regretful bow and the same answer.
Then in an irritated tone his hostess said,
.'Mr. Roscommon, what can you doY" An
Irishman's wit wouldn't forsake him at
the coffin Of his grandmother, and this
oneproved no exception to. the rule, for,
in answer to the last question, he bowed
very low and said, 81 can only admire a
beautiful woman and express that admira-
ton by kissing her hand" lie said after
wards 1t was a pretty hard dose, but the
family reputation had to be kept up.
now TO REFORM DRuNKARD.
4 BY the by, somebody said not long ago
that women were intellectually timid |
don't think they are. The way they
''wrassle' with the most abstruse subjects
shows an intellectual courage greater
than that beautiful physical one
credited to ]. Lawrence Sullivan of
Boston. The question they are tack
ling now is how to reform drunkards.
And they are perfectly willing to prescribe
anything from the faith cure 10 the jab /
have little theory of my own on the
subject, and anu going to give it to any
woman who has, as an attachments, a
husband inclined to get drunk. Il is worth
writing down in your prayer book or your
diary, whichever you look into the often
est.
AHEAD OF THE KEELEy CURE.
"Be MS aIniabe as possible; put ice on his
head and don't mind a little thing like a
piece of it running down his back, because
that will help cool him off. Bandage his
head up, put lavender water, bay rum,
camphor and everything You can think Of
on him. and when he objects, 20 quietly
away. If you have the moral courage Ia
bump your head against the door as you
go out and get big bump, or black eve,
the game is yours. Come in the next
morning with a glass of iced milk, call
him your poor darling, and make him feel
that he is the worst brute with the largest
u before him, and that you are the dearest
woman in the world. II he refers to your
bruises. say you would rather not talk
about it and cry a little. Tell him some
one is coming to paint it, so there shan't
be any gossip about it. And gradually II
will dawn ON his half sick mind that he
hit you, and then-well, You are not
descended from Mother Eve unless you
own that man. body, soul and bank book
About the lab? ?" Well, haven't any.
thing to say about it, because don't know
anything about 1t, and ! am Intellectually
timid about touching it. However, when /
have seen cure. ] will believe in it, and
until then I'll let It alone.
WOMAN IN MANS FAvoRrrE PLACE.
We used to think we were very fortunate
we women, il sc mad a man In love with
us. That's all changed nowadays. You've
got to have All adorer in the shape of O
woman. She must wear your picture in
her watch, she must take you to places OF
amusement send you flowers, permit her
self to look hdeous in the color that suits
you; in short, it must be the old story OF
Romeo and Juliet, only both the lover: