The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1892-01-29
Wards War Words.

The Chill sensation which struck our
government some time ago, SEEM to he pro-
eeeding rapidly towards congestion, and
some of our wise men are being racked with
inward pain. War ships of all sizes, shapes
and conditions of servitude are having their
bottoms scraped and Invested of everything
that will prevent them from shooting
through the water like dolphin, while
above the water-line every piece of iron or
steel has a hole in 1t to be loaded with a
missile of bloody and distressful carnage.
Cannon of all sizes. from the coffee mill
variety up to those monsters which project
piece of destruction weighing half ton.
are being trundled aboard ships to be polish
cd up with the grim dust of foreign disaster.
Every motion of little Chill is watched with
nervous anxiety and If a Gillian throws
stone at dog in the vicinity of the Ameri-
ean legation it is Immediately construed as
hostile demonstratiOn-if he mis- SEES the
dog-the fact is Immediately telegraph
ed to the United States of America by light
ming. Careful notice is taken Of the action
of our sister republic towards the alleged
Eonsul, Mr.. Egan, and il native makes
mouths at him the insult to the flag Of our
country is carefully transmitted to the war
department Mt Washington, where the eagle
screams at the tad-pole republic Of the
Pacific. England's tender offer to act as
arbitrator is drowned In the noise and con-
fusion surrounding the Grabbed consul who
seems To ache for more heniOus insult, and
blowsts the blessed atmosphere because they
are not forthcoming. The CORY god of war
sits enthroned at the capitol of this great
nation and doubtless the president will soon
thing like this:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
WHEREAS, It appears that the serpentine
republic of Chill has In time of domestic
turmoil, pounded beaten, misused. maigned
and maltreated certain American citizens
who were on shore and ON q toot, whereby
Two were finally killed and others placed'in
gloomy dungeon, kept with insufficient
clothing and poor quality OF food, and
WHEREAS, The American consul has had
his feelings hurt by the surrounding in
habitants making faces at him and splitting
inward the legation headquarter, as he be-
lfeves to show their contempt for the stars
and stripes of our beloved country, and
WHEREAS, A stone has been thrown at
the Captains gig" which might have sunk
10 with all on bOard---if il had been of suf-
icient size and had hit the boat-thereby
sending sorrow to many hearts throughout
eur land of liberty, and
WHEREAS, This Gillian government has
20 FAR neglected to make apology or give
sther demonstration of sorrow at this truly
horrible condition of affairs, but continues
10 stick up its nose at us,
Now therefore |, the chief executive OF
this business. do recommend to the United
States of America the Immediate humping
Of this sister republic into good behavior or
until she cries enough" and takes back,
reseinds and removes all cause of disaffection
on the part of the said United States OF
Anierica--hcr heirs, and assigns forever
aefOre the afore said sister republic can get
a chance to arbitrate or otherwise settle this
rumpus peaceably and without getting her
back broken.
For this purpose hereby call for all the
men. money, munition and ammunition
which there may he in the land, not inn
mediately needed by the department of the
interior. TO average this insult TO our beloved
banner aad wipe out this stain upon the
ascutcheon OF the fair goddess Of liberty
and may heaven help the right.
Laipgsburg, Jan. 26th, 1899.