Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1892-08-17
NOVEL LEGAL AUxILIARlEs.

Gentlemen Who Laugh Their Clients OPP
ponentS Out of Court.
The niceties of the law, it's fertility
of grip, crank, and conundrum, are uni
versally admitted to be limitless. The
redundancy of legal procedure is so
vast as to be almost exhaustless. But
that there should be room for extension
of the many professions now conferred
about justice will be a surprise to most
persons. And yet thereNis a new and
prosperous class of legal actors who
find their avocation both lucrative and
pleasant. The following story, in
which the proper names are for obvious
reasons suppressed, illustrates the Spe-
cial business of the new class of legal
practitioners better than any detailed
description:
"Mr. McGlue, I suppose?" said . ro-
bust-loolIing-man with big mouth,
walking into the office of that we'll
known merchant the other morning.
you'll have to excuse me just now,
said the business man snapping his
watch; 1--WE got an important case to
attend to in court this morning"
Exactly" said the stranger. 81 no.
ticed it on the calendar so 1 called.
Do you not want "a engage me?"
Are you a lawyer7'
ia lawyer No-pm not exactly
what you'd call q lawyer. am le-
gal cachinator."
"a whatP"
''Why, professional Laughter. l
laugh at all the jokes of my clients
lawyer; don't you see? ExaSperates
che other side. Grapple with the idea,
don't your"
Cant say do, exactly"
"Well, I'll explain. You see there is
nothing so effective in trial by jury as
ridicule, satire, and 30 on. Now, it is
also singular fact that ninety nine out
of hundred jurymen never see the
point of joke, no matter how plain il
is, but they are always ready to Join
anyone who starts . laugh-just like a
flock of sheep"
care they?"
Yes, experience has proved that the
large ma jority of mankind need to he
told when to laugh. They have 10 bt
set in motion, so 10 speak, like a row o.
bricks"
Eyes, but"
but what has that to do with YOU
case, eh? I'll tell you. You see. sit II
court where the jury can zee me easily
and whenever your counsel cracks {
joke and says something funny laugl
like an end man Of minstrel show, ant
pound the floor with = big stick. o
course the jury joins in, and the othe
side becomes perfectly furious"
Makes 'em savage, eh?" said thu
merchant.
1T does. And the sAvager the law
yer gets the more the jury and Specta
tors are impressed in your favor. Why
in Skeggs VS.. Skinderly, last week.
actually laughed the plaintiff clear on
of court"
you did, eh?"
''Ges, sir. You see, when the opposi
ton counsel tries to be funny in turn
scrape my feet on the floor cough, drol
my stick, and look as solemn as an un
dertal1er. / throw that in, though
without extra charge"
That's kind of you"
Don't mention it. Now just retair
me in your case and I'll do more gooS
than all the htgh-priced lawyers in the
country. ! shan't cost you much; Ill
also put on couple Of boys-appren
ticc~ &c mine They're not very reliable
yet; 1T ,"hen we work together were
a team, ,rli Won. One of 'ep is par
ticularly promising; has a mouth al
most as big as doorway, and ear
break an ordinary window glass-no
plate glass, you know-at six feet dis
lance, by laughing At it, five times ou+
of six. Nearly shook down the gallery
while doing the 'deafening applause
and uncomfortable merriment at q Do
litical meeting the other night, and
''rll-ahem! I'll think Of It. Yes,
think, perhaps, you'd better drop in
again this afternoon" said the msr,
chant, thoughtfully.
And as Purify, the defendant in Nc
Glue VS.. PURIFY, y now carrying ths