The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-01-21
BOWSER SHAW rs HIMSELF.
During His Life He Had Thrown
Away $3.50 on BARRIERS
forth He W ould Shave Himself--
His First At+epon+ s8=

HIS First Attempt.
What have you got there, !" queried
Mrs. Bowser, as her liege lord made a
display OF small package when he
came home the other evening.
Mrs. Bowser," he replied, as he sat
down and carefully handled the pack
age, "did you read OF that case in
Troy where q barber cut q customer
slightly on the cheek and he died Of
blood poisoning"
"No. Say! you've gone and got an
other OUTFIT"
"Another? When Gid I ever have
one?" ..:+ ss
You got one two or three years ago
IN Detroit, and how did you come out
with it? Mr.. Bowser, you do the
most foolish things OF any man ever
heard OF in my life!" $50 .".#.1
II do eh? Is it foolish for me to
want to avoid blood poisoning bv
shaving myself, to say nothing Of the
enormous saving of money? Yes,
did get an outfit in Detroit, but I had
n boil on my arm and couldn't handle
the razor: That was cheap outfit
Just as all experiment"
"And you cut yourself and pranced
around and whooped until the neigh
bors thought we had q fire. How
much did this outfit COST"
"Only ten dollars"
'Ten dollars thrown right away!"
els it? Let's see about that. Hav-
ing my own outfit can shave daily.
That's 70 cents a week, or $2.7O per
month. Seems to me that $34 per
year is worth saving. In the twenty
years, | have been shaving I could we'll
have saved the trine OF $3.50. Where
are you now, Mrs. Bowser?"
"Just where I was before. You'll
shave once and that'll end it,"
"Will it? If that's your opinion I
have a great surprise in store for you.
I've been taking lessons Of a barber
on how to handle the razor, and can
shave clean in exactly four minutes.
Easiest thing in the world when YOU
know how. just think Of the $3.50 I
have thrown away!"
"Nell, [ suppose you'll try it in
spite of anything I can say, but 1
shall decline to be held responsible
for any trouble"
Irresponsible! Trouble! How could
| hold you responsible? And. what
trouble can there be?''
"Why that time in Detroit YOU AL
most tore the house down because
you cut your carr
~ ooh! l was probably Joking.
Don't remember a thing about it. I'd
loo]; pretty blaming you for what |
did, wouldn't l! After dinner I'll take
a little shave, and if you don't say it
IS a better one than any barber has
ever given me I'll put the razor up for
good" ~. -.
After dinner Mr.. Bowser took a
bowl OF hot water and started up
stairs, saying to Mrs. Bowser as he
went:
Better time me by the clock. may
be SIX or seven minutes this time, but
I'll be right on tick tomorrow night. -
He went into the bedroom and
locked the door. Then he took off his
coat, vest, Mecktie and collar. He
looked down at his shoes for q NOM
ent and then decided to take them of
also.
Lets see!" he unused, as he opened
'the box and stood before the glass.
"The first thing is to lather, OF course.
That's as easy as rolling off log.
This is something like comfort, this
is. Hanged if don't believe I shall
want to shave twice a day"
Mr.. Bowser decided to put on plen-
ty OF lather. He put it on his chin,
cheeks, nose, forehead, ears and
throat, and more or less fell on the
carpet. When he had lathered until
both arms ached, and no more would
stick to him, he picked up the rasor
and chuckled:
Il Just hold with three fingers, this
way, and lay it on my cheek this way,
and move it gently down. A child
three years old could do that. I'll
show Mrs. Bowser q trick or two be-
fore I'm through. Good woman, but
she thinks she knows it all. Rasor
just slides-p' -....
"A1r. Bowser gave a Jump and at
the same Instant he saw the lather
stained with blood.
''Don't amount to anything he
whispered to himself. Barber told
me to keep my arm stiff, and I for.
got. Can't expect to get the hang oil
it in one minute, you know. A little
more lather." H.. Il. -... >..n
He lathered away until it began to
drop off, and then picked up the raz-
or again.
1.-THE idea Of me throwing away $3.50
to the barbers" he exclaimed as be
laid the flat Of the razor on his cheek
swell better late than never. Noparti-
cular hurry about this, however. Feller
wants to give himself time to get the
hang oft. Perhaps, I'll begin on my
chin. first. Don't suppose it makes
ane great difference whether 1 shave
up or down, so long as Il"
:Mr. Bowser, what's the matter?''
called Mrs. Bowser, as she kicked on
the door.
'sNothingp' he answered.
"Then what are you jumping at and
ca forS r thC,,rht rop:I al, l,a tho