Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1892-12-23
QUININE JIM'S WAY.
1t Is the Way of Those the Gods
Love.
How the Typical Colonel On the Board
Of Control Aoouiss Himself On oc-
oaaionn.


tian county, Kentucky, where he
live., he il affectiouately known as
"Quinine Jim," because he succeed
ed In having the febrifuge put on the
free list when he Was in Congress.
Besides being politician Of renown,
Col. Mckenzie is an orator of more
than usual ability. as the proceedings
of the National Democratic Conven-
ti0n attest.
reasonably, Mr.. Mckenzie is type
of the Kentucky Colonel. Six feet
six inches tall, broad shouidered, with
Il voice like the trombone in Ger
man band, he can reach almost any
numb,r of hearers in an assembly.
His hat is of the black slouch pat.
tern, worn little on one side
In military fashion; his beard is
white, trimmed to long slender
length that distinguishes the Ken
tuckian from his fellow men. AL.
together, the Colonel is the picture OF
genial, brilliant, easy-going phil
0Ospher, who dislikes conventional.
ties and the distinctions of rank
affected in large communities.
In the midst OF the rather exciting
sessions of the Board of Control the
last week, Col. Mckenzie alone has
preserved the serene demeanor and
undi-turbed tranquility that charac-
terlze the philosopher. When the
proct edings of the Board TUNED to
dry discussion the Colone's tall
form would be seen emerging from
the room, depre ating smile on his
face and twinkle in his eye. Seat
ing himself in the ante-room with a
group of interested listeners his con-
versation would turn to speculative
theories of government evolved In
leisure hours at the Christian county
farm. On one Of these occasions he
disclosed his platform should he ever
be called upon for his opinion as a
candidate tor office. ~ have plan" I"
he said, "that would settle all these
political differences. l would give
every Democrat an Office, pension
every Republican and give every
negro free pass. Wouldn't plat
form like that sweep the country
Well, should say So"
"How about the Peoples party ?"
asked II listener.
"Young man." was thereply, "the
Peoples party is pretty strong in my
district The Peoples party can
have anything IL wants in my dis
trict. Besides, platform per Sc
should not be too specific, or 80 some
of our politicians think. Another
thing: l am opposed to any law
providing for the compulsory pay
ment Of debt. / want to see COM
mercial transactions put on the broad
basis of the universal confidence of
man in man. There you have it. II
were not so all-fired mod Isl l could
run ON that platform like rabbit
scared ont Of a bru h.henp."I
Then the conversation turned to
the report OF The boards committee
on rewards. AmOng other things
the report rec. mmended that pro
vision he made for 2OO typewriters to
transcribe the reports Of the juries
which are to judge exhibits next
summer.
"Now, / am in favor OF tnat," said
the Colonel meditatively, "but /
want 10 make proviso TO this effect:
| want every one of those women to
come from Bos on. none of them to
be less than 50 years old, each to have
the attractive figure OF q kippered
herring, and all to bear traces of the
Jurrasic dust of the pliocene period
as proof Of th' ir an iguity. Then /
want to stipulate further thst every
one of the 300 shall be chosen by
King here and Hundley of Alabama.
liking, you know" nodding to.
ward his victim, "never had an ar
dent affection in his life, but the con-
ugatiOn of irregular Greek verbs.
Love them? Bless you, King hugs
an irregular verb to his bosom with
the wild yearning Of darkey after
'possum. Why, they tell me that
that man sits o. night to conjugate
Greek verbs. That's why he looks
so lean"
Just here young man came in to
ask for information and addressed
the center Of the group. ~ want to
know" he said, "what the Board OF
Control does; what its duties are?"
"Well," said the Colonel in a con-
| fident tone, "you have come to the
only man In the house who could
answer that question. Nobody here
not even the Board itself-kuows
what its duties are, but / can tell
you. Do you see Jim there-point-
ing to President Palmer's clerk on
guard at the door--"well, sir, the
Boards duty is to convene, look
wise, kick at Jim when he opens the
door and-adlourn. Is that alIi
Bless me, what an ignorant man you