The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-02-01
A CHURCH-GoING PIG.
An Alleged True story from Arkadel-
phta, Arkansas.

There is little woman living three
miles from this town who has pig, which
is, she declares, the bane OF her life and
worse than a white elephant. Tho pig
was present from her father-in-law, and
she doesn't feel inclined to give it away
or TO sell IL and would be perfectly horri-
fled to think OF killing it, Having no
children and being very lonely. she un-
wisely petted the pig n good deal during
his baby hood, and now he persistently re-
fuses to DO neglected. One of his weak
nesses is following his mistress about the
place, and nothing can break him of it.
He has recently added to this mania for
going with her when she goes abroad, and
this sometimes leads to unpleasant COM
plications.
Il never saw such q miserable crea-
ture." said his mistress Yesterday. The
other day was going over to spend the
day with Mrs. Johnson. and / just knew
that wretched pig would try TO follow me,
SO coaxed him into his pen and put the
bars up, and even drove good nail into
every one, because he sometimes man
ages to get out. After had him secure
ly fastened in / got ready and hurried
away, for 1t was little late, and 1t Is
more than mile over there, you know. /
found the house full OF company-young
people from Little Rock, and most OF
them old acquaintances OF mine.
Among the number were three young
men whom i knew long before / met
John. Well, we we're all sitting on
tho gallery having a good time, when
away down the road ] caught sight OF a
cloud OF dust, just as Fatima's sister Anna
did, and in the midst OF the cloud was that
pig. coming at a long trot, his nose to the
ground, squealing in the most heartrend-
ing manner. He was tracking me! Some
OF the children had left the gate open, and
he came right in, and just at that moment
the miserable thing caught sight OF me.
and Immediately began jumping about
and cutting more fantastic capers than
any pig ever did before. How those folks
did laugh at mel In the midst OF the mer-
riment the pig stretched himself COM
fortably in the shade and went 10 sleep,
and remained quiet until started home
when he pranced and snorted after me.
But IL was last Sunday went on the
little lady, laughing and blushing at the
remembrance. that he capped the climax
and covered me with confusion. After
that visiting day he refused to be coaxed
into his pen any more, and whenever j
made any motions in that direction he al
furthest corner OF the pasture. That was
what happened last Sunday morning. and
was SO anxious 10 get off TO church, !
said 10 John: Lets slip of while he
isn't looking The pig was roofing away,
down in the pasture, and didn't seem to
be noticing anything. John and slipped
around the house like a couple OF thieves,
and absolutely climbed the fence TO
keep the pig from seeing us, and
away we went. We reached the church.
and in the hush OF that solemn
place we forgot all about the pig. 1t was
Sacrament Day. and John and i were
kneeling with the others around the altar
and our minister was passing the p'sse OF
sacramental bread, when / heard n sound
that turned me cold from head TO foot.
The pig was coming up tho road. squeal-
ing as he came. Another moment. and he
was at the door. Then heard the lively
patter OF his hoofs along the aisle; and
then-I shudder when I think OF it--he
crowded up by the side Of poor, mystlfied
John. mounted up With his forefeet on tho
railing OF tie altar, and squealed for tho
bread Oh, could have died without tho
least Bit OF trying. Somebody took n
walking stick 10 the pig and he went homo
In a great hurry. wanted 20 cry, but
John laughed like maniac just as soon
as he got outside the church, and he
laughs yet every time he thinks OF IT, But
40 wasn't so very funny, dc you think SOP
st Louis Globe Democrat.