St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-02-20
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Left his Address-Needeh Finishing
Twas Ever Ihus-It DOesn' {
Pay-At the Club, Etc.
LEFT HIS ADDRESS.

-'IWlS Ever nHS-It UOeSh
Pay-At the Club, Etc.
LEFT HIS ADDRESS.
Bank tel!er-W ell, sir.
Tramp (at the win,lowJ-SHay, picked
up part of the paper called the Banker
Bugle to-day. Saw a queer thing in it
III paper is reliable, en-:
Teller Perfectly. Its financial news
may always be relied on.
Tramp-Jimmy I'm glad o that.
Say, that paper says money is so easy
that the bank will soon be seeking
borrowers, and I merely wish to remark
that when tn hunt begins you'll find me
on seat No 226 Washington square,
Good News.
NEEDED FINISHING.
Caller-Your daughter is at home now,
is she not? heard she had graduated at
the Artistic Literary and Scientific Uni
versity.
Hostess is not at home. She has
gone to q finishing school.
"Why, what for:'
vi, " ledIil HOW 10 enter room, ana
sit down, and hold fan, and blush, you
know. > New York Weekly.
TWAS EVER THUS.
When maiden is vivacious,
Men applaud and call it chick:
But if she's an old back number,
They will whisper: "Thats no
chick"
Truth.
1T DOESN'T PAY.
Little Daughter awful sorry we
had our old piano tuned.
Wonderfully so, my dear?
Little daughter-Cause when I play
now | can't blame the discords ON the
piano. - Good News.
AT THE CLUB.
Gay Bachelor-Do you think there is
anything in the theory that married men
live longer than unmarried ones?
Henpecked Friend (wearily)-Oh, ]
don't know-seems longer.
NOT TO BE RESISTED.
First Damsel-But | thought he said
he would never speak to you again
Second Damscl-Oh, yes; but he saw
| had Il cold and he couldn't resist the
temptation to tell me of sure cure.
BENEFIT OF COLLEGE EDUCATION.
Scholasticus Hardup-I am a college
student, and want place to work in
your hotel this Summer.
Hotel Proprietor-What experience or
qualifications have you?
SchoIasticus Hardup-I am the champ
ion boxer and wrestler of my class
Hotel Proprietor-Ah! then you will
do very well to whip cream Boston
Courier.
A NATTER OF DIET.
She (gushingly)-Anl do you write
poetry: Oh, could live on it.
iie-You coulds Well. | can't. |
merely write it. I'm in the wholesale
grocery busincss.-[Truth.
The church bells have q Joyous sound
Of peace and goodwill bringing;
And sleiyh-beIs, when the moon is
round,
Have music in their ringing;
But, after all, must agree
That maidens are the bellies for me.
Judge.
MEMORY FOR LITTLE THINGS.
Bloggs (returning to his native town
do you remember me, Jay'
Jay-WeIl, no, | cant recall YOU
name, but | we'll remember lending you
five dollars in 1910, which you never
returned. Do you happen to have that
amount with you now?
PHYsIoGNOMIsr.
"Oh,' exclaimed Miss Bondclipper,
"what a clever man that Mr. Giihoolcy
is. He is really quite d physiognomist
| was telling him last evening that ha |
become quite proficient in painting, and
he said:
az am sure of it, madame; your face
shows it. ;"
Chorus ed Texas Siftings.
REGRETS.
Eve scrubbed many tender note,
In language soft and sweet;
I've written many a loving verse,
In different kinds of feet.
I've shaken the girl [ wrote them to,
And oh, it gives me pain
To think of how silly and cheap I'll feel,
When | hear them in court again.
- New York Herald.
DANGERS OF PROCRASTINATION
Landlady-I s'pose you noticed that
long-whisk cred old gentlemen who sat OPP
posite you at dinner to-day? That is