davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
Bad for Georgia.

Bad for Georgia.
Mr.. Gotham: I see that a new law in
Georgia prohibits the selling of liquor within
thee mines of church or school house.
Col. Kaintuck (of LOuisville): Ny starsi
That's terrible blow to Georgia"
MI Gotham: Think so?
Col. Kaintuck: Mercy, yes. In Eve years
there won't be a church or school house left
in the state.-New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
A Lovers Eyes.

Fond Lover: What do you mean, sir, by
swapping your camera every time that young
lady passes?'
Cheeky Amateur: I'm not taking her pic
ture."
''Oh, you're not, eh, then what are you
doingT
'I'm closing the shutters so her looks
won't break the lens"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Hops 60 into beer at breweries, and beer
goes into men at hops.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

There's many man who would run away
If he didn't have to take himself along.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

"Well, what do you think of the new
neighbors who have moved in next door, Mrs.
Pryer?" 81 haven't had chance to form an
opinion. They haven't had washing day
yet"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

The person possessed of an idle curiosity
has curiosity that is never idle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

oAves AsalsA a Usnsy.
Nn Cobblestones Ny dsaR. - doctoe
s.ys my health win improve 81 change q
aifs
Mr.. c.: Whist kind Of changed
seHe says must have higher aItitude."
heap of money besides"
Save money!
"Of course. He we are paying ninety dol
lars month f-r this third door Hat Whem We
can get the sixteenth floor for thirty"
New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
.YOUR OwNPaYsIcIAN"

Is book worth its weight in gold. It is
written by one of the best known and most
successful hygienic physicians of New York,
who has for twenty-five years been student
of the laws of health and disease. This book
is included with every box of Garfield Tea,
which cures constipation and sick headache,
restores the complexion.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

A Washington special says that the presi-
dent and cabinet formulated a demand upon
Chilli for an immediate answer to its demand
TOR reparation and apology. This action was
taken after Minister Montt, of Chill, had pre-
ssated to Mr.. Blaine a request from his gov
eminent for six weeks longer in which to
make its formal reply. The demand was
sent to Mr.. Egan, our minister to Chill, and
not through Chili's minister at Washington.
Mr.. Egan Is directed to demand an irmedi-
ate reply; SO the world will soon know what
3 to be the outcome.
It is understood that the Gillian CORES
pondence, together with message from the
president, are prepared, ready to be placed
before congress upon the moment that word
may be received by cable from Minister Egan
of such a character as makes it useless to
wait any longer. The message and docu
ments are volupinous; would more than fill
an ordinary newspaper, yet the message, by
itself will tell the whole story without need
of wading through the correspondence. 1t is
possible that this communication may be
sent to congress to day, June 25), but should
Egan reply that Chill will now speak plainly
and promptly, it may never be sent in, at
least in its present shape.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Wife: John, why are you so profane:
Husband: I've got crick in my back. Wife
but you make it bigger by damming it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

'Carber is still in trouble. His lawyer
now makes serious charges against him." ST
thought he won his case" $50 he did, and
that's what his lawyer is charging him for"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

EITS.-All Fits stopped free Dy DIX. KLIxHs ekIAf
Nerve ReSt0rer. No Fit after nrstday suse. Mar
vellous Treatise and 90 trial bottle free to
Fit cases. Send to DR.. Kline 931 Arch st.. Phtla.s "a
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

$50, they sent your poem back?' 'Yes,
but the editor gave me q very favorable crit
icism." ssWhat did he say?" s.He said he
was glad to see that at last I had learned to
write on only one side of the paper"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

The Archduke Joseph OF Austria has re-
Gently founded gypsy colony near his es-
tate at Glosuth. Probably Joseph hasn't a
hen farm on his property.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Hamlet Jones: So, you have left the Tin
Monkey company? Buffo Booth: Yes,
didn't like the way they cast me. Hamlet
Jones: Indeed! How did they cast you?
Buffo Booth: O-,t
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Editor: I am sorry, but cannot talk to
ter. I will do all the talking myself.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

The Skeptical Aunt: What does he do,
Dolly, for living. Dolly (greatly surprised) !:
Why, auntie, he does not have time to earn q
living while we are engaged.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

q 1vo iAirsgrTrzs rls 3 as s. ss'' fos
Treatise. Epeptic Remedy Co.. IS Brood St. Nsw York
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
TNkeS Time

Guest lat Maine Resort: What lake is
that?''-
Hotel Proprietor: I've been here only one
season and can't pronounce it yet.
New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

IF You want to make small investment that =
L absolutely safe, write Chas. NJ. Steele sons,
Nuskegon, Michigan, and they will mail you Free
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

'fOn my travels I saw great many pic
lures by Rubens." ooh, yes; he was the
artist who painted SO many spurious pic
tureS0
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Actors and lovers have one trait in COM
mon. They often make up" with each others
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

| "Hanssn's Magic Corn Sslye."
/ Warranted to cure, money refunded. Ask
your druggist for it. Price Is cents.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
The total amount paid out 10y the

The total amount paid out by the
state for year for this purpose vii.
amount to over $50, 500, and this amount
will probably grow larger each year IN
til room sufficient to care for these IN
fortunates is provided.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

The bald-headed man is generally admit
ted to be very clear-headed.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Make Your Mark! Learn Shorthand by
mail. Write Chafee's College, Oswego, N. Y
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
John Anderson, MY Joe,"

= Local pride is most apparent in peopl
with land for sale.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
Not Beas,Iy.

.Englishman: Beastly weather, h'isnt
h'it?"
American: Humph! The only creature
that would like this weather is duck, and
duck isn't beast; its fowl. This is foul
weather.-New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

The Only One Ever Printed-Can You Find
the Word?
There is 3-inch display advertisement
In this paper this week which has no two
words alike excep. one word. The same 10
true of each new one appearing each week.
from the DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, aend
them the name of the word, and they will re-
turn You Book, BEAUTIFUL LITHoaRAPRs or
SAMirRa FREE
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Edith (reading): Ocean freights are dull,
and NO engagements are reported. HIM,
don't think I'd care to go across ON freight
steamer.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

Fashionable Tourist (wiping his forehead
on the Alps, as be suddenly turns around .
rock): Just to think i'll Here I've climbed
5000 feet up the side of the mountain only to
meet face to face one of my heaviest
creditors.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30

FiIkins: Dr.. Killum has paid Eve visits to
our. house. Blkins: My! at so visit. That's
expensive. Bilkins: Its only so. The Last
our he was after his money.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-01-30
Where the Caps Fa,,.

Mother lat Fashion Bay: Where In the
world did you get that outlandish straw hiatt
It looks like an umbrella.
Daughter: borrowed it.
''Why don't you wear your pretty yachting
capr
II am going yachting"
New York Weekly.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11

the Loeb of Clunie, in the centre of
which is an island, said to have been the
birthplace of Admiral Crichton.
RHODE ISLAND is the only Eastern
state in which they allow Sunday base
ball.
TOAST water is made by pouring boil
ing water on nicely Drowned toast with
no crust, until it is covered, and letting
it steep until cold 1t should then be
covered with q plate, or it may steep
upon the stove an hour or more.
LABRADOR, country which we always
associate with Arctic snowdrltts, ice
bergs, ETC., has 900 species Of Towering
plants. SO ferns and over 25O species Of
moses and lichens.
HARVEST hands must be scarce in Or
land, CAL, when women have to work
at haying. There were two women
dressed in mems clothing hauling
hay into that town last week.
A RESIDENT of Indiana caught a young
crane in the woods near Halls Creek
on Monday. The crane was prevented
from flying by a live mussel shell, which
was fastened to its foot.
HEADS of thin iron are now sold i'll
the fancy shops of London. The heads
are said to be we'll cast. and when
enameled and finished by a handsome
head of hair are very good looking.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
The Jolly Printer.

Acco riding to the Pittsburg Dispatch
a foreman Of composing room has con-
ceived the idea of using both hands in
picking up and setting the type in the
stick. Ever since the composing stick
was known the left hand has held the
stick while the thumb pressed each sue
cessive type into place against the
pieces already in line. A one-armed
compositor came to the foreman's room
and with a single hand set almost as
much type as his fellow-laborers did
with two. After thinking this over the
foreman worked out two inventions, by
which he proposes to use both hands at
once. The first is little mechanical de-
vice for taking the place of the thumb;
and the second is an attachment by
which the stick can be put in a con-
venient position for receiving the type,
without being in the way of any subse-
quent operations.
Having got so far, the foreman found
that the next step was to train the left
hand. This was by no means easy, but
after patience and practice consider
able degree of efficiency was attained
and he added so per cent. to his former
capacity. He believes still further adj
vance is practicable, but is confident
that any compositor, by the use of his
inventions, which are to be patented,
will be able to add at least so per cent.
to his speed, thus enabling hand work
to maintain sturdy competition with
the type-setting machines thus far in
vented
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
UNGUARDED GATES.
BY T. B. ALDRICH.

BY t. b ALDRIIH.
Wide open ana unguarded stand our gates
Named of the four winds North, south, East
Portals that lead to an enchanted land
Of cities, forests, fields of living gold,
Vast praries lordly SUBMITS touched with
snow,
Majestic rivers sweeping proudly past
The Arabs date palm and the Norseman's
A realm wherein are fruits of every zone.
Airs of all chimes. for 10! throug hout the year
The red rose blossoms someWhere-a rlch lana,
A later Eden planted in the Wllds,
With not inch of earth within its bound,
But if a slaves foot press 1t sets him Tree
Here. it is written, Toll shall have its wage,
And Honor honor and the humblest man
Stand level with the hig hest in the law.
of such II law have men in dungeons dreamed
And with the vision Frightening in their eyes
Gone smiling to the fagot and the sword.
Wide open and unguarded stand our gates.
And through them presses wild motley
throng-
Men frem the Volga and the Tartar steppes,
Featureless figures of the Hoang-Ho
Malayan, Scythian. Teuton. kelt, and Slav,
Flying the old worlds poverty and scorn;
These bringing with them unknown gods and
Those, tiger passions, here TO stretch their
claws.
In street and alley what strange tongues are
these
Accents of menace alien to our air.
Voices that once the Tower Of Babel knew!
O. Liberty white goddess is 1T well
To leave the gates unguarded? ON thy breast
Fold Sorrows children soothe the hurts OF
fate
Lift the own-trodden, but with hand of steel
Stay those who to thy sacred portals come
TO waste the gifts of freedom. Have a care
Lest from thy brow the clustered stars be torn
And trampled in the dust For SO of ola
The thronging Goth and Vandal trampled
Rome,
And where the temples of the Caesars stood
The lean wolf unmoested made her lair.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
Legends of Adam.

l have often won8 cred, says writer
in the St. Louis, MO- Republic, where
M. Henrion, the French savant, got his
data for the curious speculations he
gives as to the height and other pro-
portions of Adam and Eve. In his re-
markable work ''The Degeneration Of
the Human Race" published in l71S,
the learned academician gravely in
forms his readers that Adam was 123
feet and 8 inches in height, while his
disobedient consort was but paltry lis
feet from the sole of the foot to the
crown of the head.
Of course all who have read very ex-
tensively of Talmudic literature, or even
Barring Gould's " Legends of the Patri-
arch PROPHETS" remember the wonder
of his gigantic size, and how, after the
fall, his stature was reduced several
miles by the offended God himself. The
Talmud has this to say of Adams height:
He was SO tail that he stood with feet
on earth and head in heaven until God
pressed him down at the time of the
fall" Rabbi Jnuda says that when he
lay on the earth "his body completely
covered it,"
Another Talmudic story says: "To
Judge how long he was, understand that
his body stretched from one end of the
earth to the other, and it takes man
500 years to walk that distance. The
angels were awed with wonder when
they saw that gigantic human being and
bowed before him, crying, Holy, holy,
holy Then God reduced his size by
cutting off great chunks of flesh" These
are all absurd legendary stories, OF
course, but where did Henrion get his
figures for the 123-foot calculation men
toned in the opening?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
The Gospel of Health.

A sick man is sinner. He can't
be otherwise, because perfect man
must be we'll man. Sin and suffer-
ing are Identical. You may be an
unconscious sinner. You may have
taken cold; paid no attention to it.
BY and by you are conscious of back
ache. You are dull, sleepy, listless,
out of sorts. You did not know that
your cold had settled on your kid
neys, but this is the fact, and in
nine cases out of ten, in summer,
this is what ails the patient. If you
will get bottle of Reds GERMAN
COUGH AND KIDNEY CURE, and take
it according to directions, you can be
cured of all the uneasy feeling that
comes from taking cold; and remem-
Der that summer cold is fully as
dangerous as one caught in winter.
More people die from getting over
heated, and then suddenly cooling off,
than from any other one circumstance.
Get this great remedy of any druggist.
SYLVAN REMEDY Co., Peoria, Ill.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
No Politics In 1t.

One OF the first women who was as
signed work in the Treasury building
| was colored woman, Sophie Holmes
| by name.
One night, says the Chautauquan,
when Sophie was sweeping the refuse
| papers in her room she found box OF
greenbacks that had been cut, counted
and packed to transfer to the vaults.
and had been accidentally overlooked.
She did not dare call the Waterman for
fear he would be tempted beyond re-
sistence. She thought of her four
small children at home alone, with no
one to give them their supper or put
them to bed, but the one duty that
stared her in the face was to protect
that money; she sat down upon the
box and quietly waited for the hours to
60 by.
At o'clock in the morning she heard
the shutt1lng step of Gen. Spinner in
the corridor, and heard him open the
door to his room. She quietly slipped
along the corridor, knocked at his door,
and told him what she had found. The
General had the box taken to his room,
and sent Sophie home in his carriage.
The next morning when she returned
she found the General still keeping
guard. That night he sent for her and
placed in her hand her appointment
papers, given for honesty, and for
thirty years she has earned and drawn
her $50 per month.
Fifty thousand dollars were in this
box. At another time she found $780,
600 for which the testimony can be seen
over Spinner's own handwriting.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
The autiluS.

The most beautiful mother-of-pearl,
unless that of the obalone be excepted,
is obtained from the nautilus, which is
a cephelon ana related to the cuttlefsh.
Occupying only the mouth of its dwell
ing, the latter is composed OF series
of empty chambers. each of which the
animal has successfully lived in and
vacated as it grew bigger, building
up behind it at each move wall
of purest pearl. These vacant rooms OF
pearl are all connected by pneumatic
tube, which enables the creature to so
control the air supply to it's house as to
make the domicile lighter or heavier at
will, in order to ascend or descend in
the water. The shell is too thin
to bear grinding, and SO mu-
outer coat and disclose the exquisite
nacre beneath.
A method OF treating such shells con-
sists in drawing upon them with brush
and wax varnish any designs desired,
after which they are placed in bath OF
weak acid. The latter eats away the
outer coat wherever it is not protected
by the varnish, the result, according to
the English Mechanic, being lovely
cameo with raised figures in white on a
pearly ground. Nature, however,
beats art hollow at this sort
of work. In the cretaceous epoch,
hundreds of thousands of years
ago, there lived certain cephalopods,
since extinct. which science calls am
monites." The pearl they produced
was of wondrous beauty, and many fos-
sill ammonites dug up to-day have been
so operated upon by the process of de-
cay as to form elaborate patterns on
the shells in pearl and white.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
First and Last.

The first gun fired was at Fort Sum.
ter and the last was fired at Macon.
Some interesting stories have been
published lately about the firing of the
last gun, and the statement has been
published that it was done at Column
bus, Ga. The facts were ascer-
tanned recently from d. E. King. the
commercial agent of the Missouri Pa
citic Railroad, at Albany, Ca, and ap-
pear in the Atlanta Constitution. Mr..
King said:
II was in the Federal army, and be-
longed to the First Ohio Cavalry, in
Gen. Wilson's command. We reached
Columbus, Ca, on April II, 1865, and
stayed there three days, after which
we marched to Macon.
"While on the march we were fred
at frequently by scouts or bushwackers,
and the advance guard, after some little
reconnoiterlng, would return the shots
and advance. I was an orderly under
Gen. Alexander, who had charge of
the advance forces, and when we were
within seven or eight miles of Macon
we were met by party of gentlemen,
citizens from Macon, who asked us not
to enter the city, as an armistice had
been declared.
81 went myself to Gen. Wilson and
notified him Of what the delegation Of
citizens said. He went forward and had
talk with them. was there and ov-
erheard everything that was said.
Gen. Wilson said that he mad not been
officially notified of the armistlce, and
that he intended to establish his head
quarters in Macon that night.
E"He told the citizens that he would
not allow his soldiers to disturb any
thing or anybody, but that his entrance
to the city would be peaceable. He was
informed that the Confederates had
forces stationed across the river from
Macon and beyond the railroad where
he would enter.
"We proceeded to the city, and after
entering it we could see the Confederate
camp to our right. While marching
through the streets three shots directed
at our column came from the Confeder-
ates without effect, and we procee ded
on the march. This was the last gun
fired. l do not remember the date we
entered Macon, but it was between the
Goth and 3Oth of April. 1865"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
One More Crank.

Dairymen throughout the city of Col
lumbus, o., and the surrounding country
are greatly excited over the bloody
work of an unknown person who is
supposed to be maniac somewhat SINH
lar to Jack the Ripper. The deeds of
the unknown villain are quite as mys-
terious as they are atrocious.
He has mania for s!aughtering cattle
in the most cruel manner, and when
found the bodies of the poor animals
are frightfully mangled, in most in
stances showing that they had been
slowly tortured to death. The first
outrage by this peculiar crank was per-
petrated about one month ago, says the
city found two of his cows lying dead
in the field one morning. The animals
had been chopped to pieces by an axe,
the wounds being inflicted in points
where they would be least liable to
cause death.
The poor beast had slowly bled to
death while suffering the most horrible
agony. The dairyman attributed the
deed to some of his enemies, and sup
posed it was done for revenge. He
could never secure evidence sufficient
for prosecution, however. A week ago
another dairyman living in the north
ern suburbs found two OF his COWS dying
in the field from irightful wounds that
evidently had been inflicted with an
axe. Their backs were literally chopped
to pieces.
This morning there was repetition
of this unusual brutality. Mrs. Mary
Hurley, q widow living at 63S Mccoy
Street, found her COW lying dead in the
pen with it's head cut entirely of. The
bloody work, as in the previous cases,
had been done with an axe. The police
were notified of the affair tonight and
have been investigating it, but with
fruitless results.
Ever since the first outrage ofits char
acter, month ago, detectives have
been trying to find the guilty party,
but not the slightest clew of his identity
can be obtained. As there is no motive
in either of the cases it seems certain
that the perpetrator is crank of new
order.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-08-11
GEORGIA WATERMELON

When you thump it with your fingers and it
gives heavy SOUND,
Like summer rain a-fallin' on the dry an dusty
ground;
Jes' get your Barlow ready an prepare to make
swipe,
And carve it straight an steady, till 1t opens
red an ripe!
Then fold your Barlow careful, an take your
melon fiat;
Put one half on this side c. you-the other half
on that:
Them take the biggest in your lap and tear the
heart Out-So!
An smack your lips, an praise the Lor l from
whom all blessln's flow !
Atlanta Constitution,