davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
A Famous Milkman.

1t was Garibaldi's habit to retire very
early. In the morning. as the visitor
looked out from the uncurtained window
he saw COW rushing by impetuously,
with its head down and it's tail in the air.
No sooner had the animal disappeared
than Garibaldi and his daughter, Teresa,
came in sight, one carrying a milkpail and
the other milking STOOL
About an hour afterward, when the COM
pany had assembled round the breakfast
table, the explanation of this COW hunt
was given. Garibaldi apologized for the
Ecanty supply of milk.
You see, Teresa" he said, addressing
his daughter in tone of mild rebuke,
your temper is the only cause that pre-
vents us from offering enough milk to the
signora
repeatedly impress upon my children"
he continued, turning toward the lady
who tells the story, that one ought always
to treat animals kindly, and that they are
much more amenable to kindness than to
blows. This Zoni, for instance, is our best
cow, but she will not endure a blow; so
that when Teresa thoughtlessly hit her in
the stable it excited her and made her
quite unmanageable.
Il had to go a long way in the field to
find her. Teresa came up to hold her
horns, and had begun to milk her, but in
less than minute she upset me, stool and
all, and took to her heels"
During breakfast Garibaldi continued to
talk to his children about his favorte ami
mails, and he eXhorted them to be tender
and unsel6sh in their treatment of all
creatures, with great warmth and intelli-
gence.-Youth's Companion.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
sHE WAS FROM BOSTON.
why the Professor Left the Ballroom q
Look for Refreshments.

Why the Professor Left the Ballroom 20
Look for Refreshments.
The dry as to marrow, the leathery as to
heart, but verdant as to brain, the professor
found himself in the ballroom, and, like the
fly in amber, wondering how the deuce he
got there.
In bower corner sat the rosebudiest Of
rosebuds in garden of exquisitely 6ngowned
girls.
II make it rule of three, professor, says
the rosebud. II dance three dances only of
a night, one in every hour The first a
square dance, to bring my voluntary mus
Giles, with their fasciculi, into gentle play; the
second polka, to work the voluntary mus
Giles into perfect action, and the third
waltz, for absolute enjoyment"
BLESS my SOUL" exclaims the professor.
81 employ the interim by following some
train of thought. Tonight l am seeking
types | want to find my Cleopatra, my AS
pasta and my Phyrne."
'Bless my soulr exclaims the professor.
ibid Cleopatra spend the winter of 40 B. c.
with Antony in Alexandria, or was it Az
Did she bare her bosom or only her arm to
the aspg' "A
BLESS my soul!" exclaims the professor =
"Was Aspasia fast or only a fiirt9 Was
4
cles as perfect as a Chicago divorced Why
does Aristophanes ascribe the Samian and
Peloponnesian wars to her simply because she
lost her lady's maid9 Do you think Plutarch's
defense exculpates hera Was her second hus-
band, Lysicles, pork packer or merely a
cattle dealers"
BLESS my soull" exclaims the professor.
"Was Phrynes mother laundress, and is
it true that she got her living at one time by
gathering capersa Were those capers for
sauce or boiled legs of mutton9 Was her offer
to rebuild the walls of Thebes if her name
were inscribed on them bona fidea Did she
profane the Elusinian mysteries, or was it
put up job to bring her to Hellasts, in order
to let the council see her beautiful anatomys
| incline to this, for Apollo painted her as
the Venus Anacyomone, and Praxiteles
sculped her as the Cnodian Venus. Was
Apollo her lover, as well as Praxiteles?"
BLESS my SOUL" exclaims the professor.
"You see, professor, am from Boston"
"Ahap and the venerable professor bound
ed like one of his crack pupils in the direction
of the refreshment room.-Once a Week.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

Why is it that nine times out of ten the
men who engage in scientific research be-
come prophets of evil? A collection of the
predictions made by these people would af-
ford interest and amusement The compi-
lation should of course include Sir Sidney
Bell, who is responsible for the following:
1T was formerly, say fifty years ago,
nothing uncommon for a new island to APP
pear above or an old one to disappear be-
meath the waves of the Pacific ocean. Such
occurrences were sometimes noted as often
as two or three times year, and were so
common as to hardly excite comment
among navigators and scientists. OF late,
however, the Pacific has been pacific in
deed. 1t will be thirty-six years this sum-
mer since the last island disappeared, and
exactly a quarter of century since the
last new one popped up its head in the
greatest of oceans But this is suspi-
cious silence, an omen of some monstrous
catastrophe. Dame Nature is simply rest
ing for mighty effort" Sir Sidney even
goes so far as to predict that the whole of
New Zealand and the greater part of Aus
tralia will be engulfed before the end of
the year 1925
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
How the Continents Attract Seas.

The effect of gravitation in heaping up
the sea waters upon the shores of CONT
nents is one of the most interesting, as
well as the most curious and least CON
sidered, facts in connection with old
oceans history, .sfhus the continents
are all situated at tops of great hills or
mountains of water, and to cross the At
lantic or any other ocean the ship has
to first go down the sloping sheet, cross
the valley and then climb the noun
tain of water on the other side before it
safely reaches harbor.
In this connection the interesting cal
culation has been made that in mid
ocean ON the Atlantic the depression is
about three-fourths of mile below the
level of the water at coast line. while
ship in travelling from San Francisco to
Yokohama, Japan, must cross valley
at least a mile in depth. Louis Re-
public.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
THE KOOTENAI HERALD
Issued Every Saturday By
S. D. TAYLOR, Proprietor.
Saved by an Undecided Man.


II was one of the party OF eight once
held up by a lone highwayman. said p
j. Marlin, bridge contractor. IL was
travelling by stage in Montana The party
consisted of two army officers, a specu-
lator, four miners and myself The stage
had been held up pretty frequently so we
all went fixed for trouble. Every man had
a brace of sixshooters, and we were just
aching to have the road agents tack 4 us;
at least we talked that way. We com
mented very unfavorably upon men who
yielded to the demands of the freebooters
without struggle, and promised them
warm time if they tackled us. One man
had little to say. He was the Spectator,
a red headed man with a squirt. Finally
one of the army officers asked him what
he would do if the robbers attacked us,
and he replied that he did not know.
'As we swung around sharp bend in
the road the stage pulled up with jerk,
the driver threw up his hands, and almost
before we knew it we were looking into the
barrel of Winchester Well, sir, that
lone robber marched us out and stood us
up in line with our hands above our head.
Then he threw each man small sack and
made him pull it over his head. We all
complied but one The red headed specu-
lator pulled his gun and shot the bandit so
full of holes that he died before he could
touch the ground. Then he climbed up,
knocked the driver off the box and drove
the stage into the next station with the
most crestfallen lot of braggarts aboard
that ever wore gun and neglected to use
it."-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
Curious Facts About Quito.

A contributor to the Reading Telegram,
who has Travelled in South America, de-
clares that in one respect at least Quito
the capital of Ecuador, is the most unique
city in the world-it is situated in both
the northern and southern hemispheres, a
distinction claimed by no other place of
Importance on the globe. At Quito the
sun rises and sets at o'clock the year
around. You may forget to wind your
watch while you are visiting the Ecuado-
rian capital, but you need not hunt up
regulator-set it when the sun rises or sets
and you will be sure to be right. Old Sol
makes no mistakes. In one part of the
city the summer season does battle with
old winter, who is just across the street
The seasons, so far as names are concerned,
change almost instantly but as the tenn
perature is remarkably even, these curious
points are seldom thought of by the $4,000
people who make Quito their home.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
Would Do just as Wen.

The assistant came upon the stage and
whispered something to the lecturer.
Ladies and gentlemen" said the professor,
II have just learned that one case of the ORR
entail curiosities with which l usually illus
trate this lecture has failed to arrive, owing
to the mistake Of baggage man. regret
to say, therefore, that / cannot exhibit the
well preserved Egyptian mummy had hoped
to show you. 1t may be possible, however,
that / can find a substitute Is there any
gentleman from Philadelphia in the audi
enceF'-Chicago Tribune.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
OF Course.

It was little Fifth ward boy who was
walking on the street with his mother, when
his attention was attracted by dog which
wagged a stub that showed he once possessed
a tail
Isn't it too bad, said the mother, that
the doggy has lost his tailY'
Eyes" replied the little fellow, sadly, and
then Frightening up asked, but, mamma,
why don't they take him to the tailors shopf'
-Elmira Advertiser.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
A Matter Of Course.

Poseyboy-I tell you, Miss Skittish is the
smartest and prettiest girl in this ethyl There
are no flies on her.
Ponsonby-No, but l should think there
would be.
Poseyboy-Why2
Ponsonby-Becauses she is so sweet.-Bur-
lington Free Press.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

Nothing was created in vain, and babies
are included
Babies are quite an old institu ton, but
constant improvements are being made in
the manner Of handling them.
The courts of justice have uniformly held
that man is not justified in killing the
baby in the fiat above, although it may
bawl continuously from midnight till morn
ing.-Detroit Tribune.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

The steamer Kaffir Prince. of the Mexi-
can international Steamship company, at
Philadelphia, has arrived at Tampico with
a cargo of Connellsviile coke for the smelt-
ing works at San Luis Potosi. This is the
first coke that has ever been introduced
into Mexico and is expected to be the be-
ginning of very large trade.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

Doctor Phy"ick-Your blood appears to be
a little out Of order, madam. l win send Won
something which will purify it.
Mrs Murray Hill Indignantly Purify
my blood, SIR Are you not aware that am
one of the -Four Hundred flown Topics.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
Great Place for Corn.

Southern California is the place for vegeta-
ton. Our old friend Brown writes us from
there and tells us that at the end Of two
hours ramble in the mountains he found his
corn had sprouted. Texas Siftings.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
Not Equally Charming.

Poseyboy-Ah, there you are kissing vour.
poodle again, Miss Travis. Why can't Won
distribute your favorsl
Miss Travis tarchly)-Because, Mr.. Posey-
boy, there is such difference in puppiesl
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
A self Evident Proposltlon.

Beggar-Please give me dime Do not
judge me by present appearances, but re-
member l once did business with Jay Gould
Citizen-l believe you, my man, l believe
you. Here's dollar-The Epoch
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

North Carolina has postoffices named
Shoe He'll Hog Back, Pump and Jay Town.
Kentucky rejoices in such names as CHM
let, Cut Shin, Marrowbone and Rabbit
Hash.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18
surer Than the weather Predictions.

When woman steps out on the back porch
with her arms rolled up in her apron it is a
sign to her neighbor that she has something
20 tell her.-Atchison Globe.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-11-18

Freshington-G Going out Of town, old felG
Whistler-Just for the night, don't you
knowa The Hashlins give bit of a dance at
Pelham, and I've bundled in a claw hammer
and Holy graill there's my traini Ta-taE
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04

Tom Watson, Of Georgia, the People
party candidate for Congress, discusse:
The Negro Question in the South" \
the October Arena, aud thus pays his
respects 70 the silly bugaboo of the
'.fcrce BILL"
TO the emasculated Individual who
cries negro supremacy" there is little
~ be said His cowardicc shows him to
be degeneration from the race which
has never yet feared any other race. -
Existing under such conditions as they
now do in this country. there Is no earth
y chance for negro domination, unless
We are ready to admit that the colored
man is our superior in will power, cohr
age snd intellect Not being prepared
to make any such admission in favor OF
any race the sun ever shone on, havp
no words whi.h can portray my cen
tempt for the w'i'e men, Anglo Saxon.
who can knox their knees together ano
through their chattrFing teeth aud pale
lips admit that they are afraid tile ne
groes will "donina'e US The question
Of social equality does not enter into the
calculation at all Tint is thing each
citizen decides for himself. No statute
ever yet drew the latch Of the humhlest
kome-or ever will Each citizen reg
slates his own WISHING list. and always
will"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04
Betting on Elections

The attention Of persons who ARE always in
the habit OF enforcing their opinions by pro-
posing TO bet, is called to the following Sec
tons Of the Revised code of Maryland:
Sec. s5.-No person shall make any bet or
wager on the result Of any election TO take
place in this State
Sec. s6.-Any person offending against the
last preceding section shall he liable 10 in
diciment in The Circuits Courts. il the ofTcuse
he committed in any county, or in the Crim-
nal Court OF Baltimore, if the ofTense he cotn-
miiIed IN Baltimore and on convection shall
be fined not less than City nor more than FIVE
hundred dollars, to be paid to the State for
.he use of tae school fund
See. s7.-Every deposit of money 10 an,
part OF the State, rs wager or bet upon cleo
tions in this State or elsewhere, shall lie for
ieIted and paid oSer 10 the County Commits
siontrs of the county where deposited Cor the
use OF the coun,yi and if deposited in the city
| Of Baltimore, 10 the Mayor snd City Council
FRANCIS r. WllEATLEi.
ap 22-;e Sheriff Of Charles county.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04
Political Rcncyades.

Rsncgades are no, bcla in high esteem
by any class Of citizens. but the political
renegade Of all others. seems 10 be the
one that gets. because, probably, he de-
serves il. the greatest amount Of abuse
That ''man MacVeigh" Who was onte
prominent in Republican politics thought
himself better than his party,
joined the Democrats aud beeime
very abusive Of his former political and
persona friends. and in a speech in New
York dl lis latest political allies great
Heal Of injury The "artful dodger."
David B. Hill. seeing the danger his
party was getting iuto in consequence of
threatened los Of the Irish American
vote on account If MacYrigh's speech
jumped on the poor traitor aud made the
wOnl. fly. Hid. the great dodger. does
not believe in. Tor does be want Repub-
ican converts. and says of them, includ-
ing Macveigb:
II am glad you were pleased. and es-
pecislly wit. that part to which | paid
my respects to that yenomous class Of po-
itical hypocriies aud mountebanss,
which seems to crop out in Pennsylvania,
as well as in other States.
Il cannot sufficiently emphasize in
words my contempt for this class Of po-
li'ical renegades. and as well for boilers
and malcontcnts within the party.
"If Mr. MaeVeigh we're a patriot and
an honest man. as be now claims to be.
he would not have waited for sixteen
years to give uttcrance to his belief that
Mr.. Tildeu was honestly elected in 1876.
Knowing that fact, as he alleges and
suppressing it all these years. while he
was the beneficiary Of party favor, clear
" shows to my mind that he is not of the
class of persons the Democratic party
wants or should follow.
The Democratic party, and certainly
the sound Democrat, do not need get
of egotistic. self-lauding upstairs to un-
dertake to tell them what to DO Every
Democrat had made up his mind in Nov
ember, 1876. that Mr.. Tilden carried
majority of the electoral vote. and this
MacVeigh was aae Of the people who
1iued in the great politi val theft.
1.-The Democratic parry has prospered
without him, and the mess this vainglo-
rious person has already made will do
the Democratic party more injury than
good Our Irish friends are already in
arms, and the more he explains the
more be condemns himself He should
be repudiatcd by the party for its own
sef-respect. It does not need him and
should not recognize him by listening to
his language. 1t is not Democracy"
In speaking Of the outlook in New
York he said: 1T is very close ight.
No one can tell. with poll of over twelve
hundred theusand votes. with a margin
on either side of ten or fifteen thousand.
What the result will be. After the reg
istration shall have been completed some
approximate idea may be formed as to
what may be the Outcome, but it is only
guessing nav"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04
Vote on the Right SIDE.

Before annih,.r issue of the INDEPEN-
DENT the great American people will
have recorded their verdict on the ma
finnal issues that have hceu discussed in
every city, town and hamlet. for months
past What that decision will be We
have not the slightest doubt. For, not
withs,snding the fallacious statements.
and the absurd arguments made during
the campaign BY Democrats. that. in
consequence of legislation enacted by
Republicans, our country has been great
" injured, the people, we are satisfied.
will put their emphatic condemnation on
snch false representation and re elect. hy
decisive majority, that able and peerless
statesman, Benz .min Harrison, to anoth-
er four year term to the highest office 10
the gift of the nation. The great Amer
lean people viii mt turn tii,,w+4 such :
man as Harrison has proven hinsclf TO
be, for, in every emergency that has
arisen. great or small. he has been equal
to the occasion, and his calm aud patri-
otto demeanor and his determined utter
snce in behalf Of his country's honor.
during the Samoan difficulty, the Ber-
ring sea imbroglio. the Italian trouble
cause by the New Orleins lynching
and the brutal Gillian affair. won for
him from his most bitter opponents
words of the highest praise In adli-
fion the people have seen. since the in.
auguration Of Preslent Harrison. such
legislation put upon the statute books o
the country by the Republican parry, o
which the President is the great leader
that has redounded. contrary to the ca.
lamity predictions of his opponents, tt
the great good of the whole people, and
to-day. il we are to judge by the dcclara-
lions Of our most Ell inent men. iuclul-
ing Henry Watterson. the great Demo
caatic leader in Kentucky, who spoke al
the recent Columbus Celebration in Chi
cago. our country j. more prosperous
than ever before 10 its history and our
people. including the great army Of wage
earners, are tie lnos' conscufeti and hsp-
py Of any people on theface Of the earth.
Such condition of affairs. inaugurated
by policy put in operation BY the Re-
publican party, preclades the possibility
of any change at the present time. AMI.
as stated 10 the beginning we hive not
the slightest doubt of President Harri-
sons triumphant reelection. With a
certainty Of IIarri ION being again in the
presidential chair, it should he the duty
of every Republican. by every honorable
means, 10 assist in placing in the halls o
Congress majority OF representatives
who will stand by The Pre,il,nt in hi'
efforts to continue the good work SO
able started two years ago. Mr. Par
ran, our candidate for Congress. is n
s,aunch Republican and is IN honorable
AMI intelligent gentleman. aud his every
vote will be cast for the best Interests Of
the people of this State. should be be
elected In that ease why shoad not
every Republican vote for aud elect Par
ran? There is no good reason, and We
are confident that his party aud persona
friends will stand by him anil see that he
is elected. Let all do there 'uty as men
confident in the right, and, being so,
dare maintain il.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04
ADMINISTRATORS NOTTCE

0RrHASs COURT OF GHAstgs County, Scr
q tnla y s92
ORDERED by the Court. that jain W
I Ma,!.iox and Peter " Robv. adm'rs Of
l'hr 3 Maddox, de eased, give he nolifs
required by law 10 The crfdf
tors of said dece 'sei, to exhibit their
claims, legally authenticated, by advertise
men; inserted in some one news, PAPER published
in Charles comfy, Naryl,ni, once in each OF
three successive weeks.
True copy-test:
} BENZ. MATrlNfaY, Reg. Wills Chas. Co.
NOTICE.
rgNllISis to give nofirc, that the subscribers
have obtained from the Orphans Court
Of Charles canatv, Mayl,uA. letters Of adj
miuistraiion on the personal estate of
JOHN 4. MADDOX,
late Of said county, decreased. All persons
having claims against said deceased are here
by warned 10 exhibit the same, with thu
vouchers thereof legally anthenti Gated. to
the subscriber, on or before tie 2sih day Of
April next. They may otherwise by law
he excluded from all benefit of said deceased S
estate.
Gwen under our hands this 2Slh day Of
0cto or, 1892.
JOHN W. MADDOX,
PETER " 9OBY,
Administrators of John B. Maddox
oct % am
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04

Everyti,ae. nnmistakahly. aud GER
tainiv. catarrh and Influenza WELD to the
magical influence Of UId Saufs Gararrb
Cure. the safest remedy for these often
sive diseases. Price only % cents.
Old Sauls Pile Ointment Is a speedy
and certain cure for piles, and acts with
ont pain. Why then should cruel.
painful. surgical methods be pursued
Price of Ointment 25 cents per box.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04

A matter of chnice- whether to suffer
uninteiruptedly with cough or buy a
bottle of DR. Bulls Cough Syrnp and
cure it.
Book keepers aud other clerical men
whose daily occupation cause them to
contract die piles. should cut short the
disease in the start with Oh Saul'> Pile
Ointment. Price - cents.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-11-04
NOTICE
To Hotel Keepers 4 Others

For the information Of all persons concern
ed. the following sections OF Article of the
Revised ode of Public General Laws Of the
State OF Maryland are published.
Sec. SILT shall not be lawful for the
keeper Of any hotel, tavern, store, drinking
establishment or any other place where liquors
are sold, or for any person or persons, directly
or indirectly, TO sell, barter, give, or dispose
OF any spirituous or fermented liquors, sale, or
beer, or intoxicating drinks Of any kiad on
the day of any election hereafter to be held in
the several counties of the State
Sec. 34-Any person violating the provis-
ions Of the preceding section shall be liable to
indictment by the Grand Jury of the county
where the offense is committed, and shall,
upon conviction before any Judge of any Of
the Circuits Courts of this State be fined a
sum not less than fifty dollars nor mole than
one hundred dollars Tor each and every offenss;
and one half the fne shall be paid the inform
er, the other half Ia the county commission
ers for the use of the public roads,