The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-08-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Things Are Moving Along AS Lively AS
Ever.


IN writing up some of the local char
acters of the town, we mentioned Col.
DICK White as one of the crowd who
had been here too long for his health.
Several shyster lawyers went to the
colonel and encouraged him to bring a
libel suit for heavy damages. He re
fused and sent us word to look out.
We were ready in fifteen seconds after
we got the message, but the colonel
had to send his guns to the shop to be
repaired, make his will and fix up
other little matters. It was not until
Monday that he got ready to go hunt
ing. He posted himself in a modest
n retiring position on an empty
barrel in front Of Henderson's grocery,
and had been waiting fifteen minutes
when we sauntered up to inquire the
price Of cucumbers. We saw the
colonel and the cucumbers at the
same instant, but he got the first shot,
which ripped up the cotton on our
right shoulder. We could have shot
him dead, but we didn't do it. We
simply shot his thumb off at the joint
and he went out of business after firing
only the one shot. From the time he
fired until we had him disarmed and
he was begging u pardon was only
eleven seconds, as counted by the
grocer, who had his watch in his hand,
AS mayor of the town we sell the guns
at public auction, as usual, and turn
the money into the street improve
ment fund. We understand that the
colonel left town last night for some
point in Montana. While we firmly
believe his going is a benefit to the
community, we want to thank him for
the manly way he set about getting
even with us. Anybody can begin a
libel suit, but it takes a manly sort of
q mar to go cunning for an editor who
can shoot two handed and has had
three or four days warning of what is
to come.
THE MULE RACE.-The great mule
race which was advertised to come off
last Saturday proved to be an exciting
affair and the event of the season. It
was a Lone Tree mule called Cyclone
against the well kno En Thunderbolt,
owned by the editor of the Kicker.
The stakes were for 800 a side and
the distance one mile. His honor the
mayor (who is ourself was present as a
spectator. AS the editor of a great
family weekly it is no. beneath our
dignity to own the fastest mule in the
county, but the foreman of our Office
had entire charge of the animal after
reaching the ace track. The Lone
Tree contingent figured they had a
sure thing of it, and when our mule
came in three lengths ahead they made
a dash to carry off the stakeholder.
As the editor of the Kicker we were
interested to considerable extent in Il
financial way, but as mayor of the
town and the acknowledged head of
law and order we sailed in on general
principles and left ruin and desolation
in our path. Only n of the crowd
got away unhurt, and that was be-
cause he started early. A chap called
"New Mexican Jim" was the leader
of the Loan Tree gang. His honor
didn't have hold of him over eighteen
seconds, and yet the doctors say it
will be three weeks before he is able to
ride home, We are an up and up peo-
pie In this town. Our mule always
starts or we pay the forfeit, He also
runs fair and for all there in him. If
he loses we make no kick. If he wins
we want the long green and are bound
to have it. It was a putup job to
"do" us, but it didn't work. Even
our contemporary, as mean a critter
as he is, can't ind nerve enough to
sympathize with the Lone Tree crowd.
A MISSING LNK.-Last week there
was a drove of Moquis Indian bucks
and sluaws in town to do trading, and
a number of them were prowling about
the ward in rear of the Kicker Office.
Nobody paid any espC cial attention to
them, but next day news came in from
Shack valley that about twenty of
them were deathly sick, and it was
supposed they had been poisoned by
canned fruit bought in town. If there
is any missing link in the case we
we think we a supply it. Our press
man had that morning been cutting
the core out of a composition roller in
order to cast another, andthe Indians
had discovered the strip and pieces
and had appropriated them. Every
one rode out of town chewing some Of
the stuff, which they thought vas a
soft snap, of some sort, and it didn't