The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1892-11-10
THE MArRIMoNIA1 MUSE.

THE MATRIMONIAL MUSE.
MT, From the lmP.ouvius sawbueIs,
Cola cd BY tho Detroit "Frse Pes"
The editor of the simpsonville SdiD-
buck was putting the marriages notices
into shape, and as the names Of the
happy couples were rather unusual, it
occurred to him that he might make it
pleasant for all concerned, and pos
sibly sell a few more copies of his
paper
himself, and sorting over the copy,
there's Jim Old and Fanny Smith.
Jim's been on the books for q long time:
wonder how this'll strike them" and
he wrote:
Our city Is proud Of the youth Of her girls,
They younger each year TO behold
Ann since we've been here, now many year,
Sweet FannIos the first to get Old.
"There / gnoss that's good for dozen
copies" and with sign OF relief he
pulled out another:
Um-Mr. English and Miss French"
he soliloouized. They're high flyers.
Want something nice and quiet. Don't
like to see their names in the papers,
but they buy up all tho copies they
find" and he worked away for ten min
utes. 81 guess that's the pole will
knock the persimmons," no smiled, as
he wrote this after the formal notice:
"Jc 'talme," he said
II gave her heart Il wrench,
u do not UNDERSTAND she said
4 am not Frehch,"
You were," he said,
~ did not Ike you So
And nave made YOU
English, don't you know
He read it over once or twice with
evident pride and went for another. !,
civilian Higgins and Katie Black,"
he said thoughtfully. Il don't know
Katie, but Bill owes me 81 for printing
his wedding cards a month ago.
guess I'll remind William Of his prom
Use to pay on the spot" and he took up
/, his pencil sayagely, and wrote:
Many blessings be with Bill this day,
Although no is q slack one;
lie couldn't get girl that's white,
And so he took black one,
"If that doesn't fetch him." laughed
the editor softly, "Ill give him tAe 81
for wedding present, "
He looked up another.
"Ah, here's Harry Thorn and Ann
Rose; that's an easy one. ] can write
that kind at SO much mile, running
measure" and he dashed off this:
oh, Happy Harry. Happy Ann,
Rejoice that you were born,
And thank the man who said, There Is
No Rose without Thorn"
"That isn't SO bad" he unused, as he
reached for more aids to poesy, and he
dragged out another:
mir. Hogg and Miss Mary Law, he
repeated, as no chewed on his pencil.
"Well, I'll say what ! please, think.
as don't know either one OF Thorn, and
here goes" he worked a few minutes
and had this:
He's taken the Law into his hands,
Anil happily may they jog;
She loved him true, or she never could do
Such a thing as marry a Hogg.
THAT'S little left-handed. may be-"
he sighed. "but it will amuse their
friends even if they don't like it them
selves. Besides, Hogs haven't any
business getting married, anyway"
Here's something better" he con-
tinued, as he picked up another notice.
''Mr. Sweet and Miss Angel. Think
Of it." he murmured. why, it just
makes itself poem" and he scribbled
away for this:
May all the Joys Of life betIde
This sweet young groom and Angel bri6e;
The groOms in luck. he's drawn prize;
Nor Is the bride much otherwise;
"She's bound TO be Sweet for all OF her lie,
And he's got an Angel for wife.
"That's worth atleast twenty copies"
and the tickled editor began to juggle
the extra dollar in his mind.
Here's one more" he went on as he
studied the names. Charley Poor
and Harriet Home. There's a good
deal in that, possibly" and he began
TO grind the machine and ran out this:
All. woman'S trust in man is great,
Surprising all endelvor;
Sweet Harriet leaves her Home content,
Though she be poor forever.
"By gravy" said the editor, "that'sa
corker. I'll bet"
"Hi, there" broke in tho devil;
there's fight on the corner and the
feller's got out his gun" and the editor
dropped the muse and hustled out for
the news.