Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-02-03
WheeZe, SneeZe Groans,
MOanSl SQuillS,
Pills! Lint. Splint,
Doctor fee. One V.

-Iitt. HOu, ~ -NetC OFh sun.
BACKWoODS Subsequently, want
ter git a look at the editor. Whar
bout is he ?'' Office boy-'1hat's him
sIeepin' with his feet on the desk"
Backwoods subscriber-''Golly, jim.
Hanged if he amt got on a shirt, red
galluses and socks -jes' like the rest of
Us .''-Atlanta Constitution.
Now, Rastus," said the merchant,
lone more question before | employ
you. Do you drink?' "No, sab. New
er. sab OATS my rule, sab" "Well,
Pm sorry. | was going to ask you to
take little '.Marse Brown, they
amt nebber been no rule 'thout ex-
ceptions, sab. | excerpts yo' invitation,
sab. "-New York San.
ANGRY pedestrian after a narrow es-
cape(-"Suppose, sir, you had run into
me ?'' Bicyciist-ssI would have
bruised your shin and broken my
neck. "-.Street and Smiths Good Ne1rs.
IHAMLET JoNEs-''So you have left the
Tin Monkey Company ?" Buffo Booth
es. [ didn't like the way they cast
me-" Hamlet Jones-"Indeed How
did they cast you ." Buffo Booth
"Out. "-kdte Fields Washington.
THE EDIToR-" Lucky man, that fell
low !Jones." The Assistant-'1 don't
see how you make it" The Editor
"Why, he took out life insurance DO
licv tor $500 and died SIX days before
the company failed !''-AHant0 Constitu-
ton.
81 THINK I've got the grippe" said
Hobbs go to my uoctor He recon-
mends whisky" said hobbs. mine
will prescribe beer to build you up
said Cobbs. my physician will order
champagne as tonic, B." said Slobbs.-
Philadelphia Record.
OLD GENT who knows the young
mans salary IF you and my
daughter could live respectfully and
comfortably on so week | should not
object to the match. But you can't"
Young Man-''No; but my salary is $40
a week, and that added to the $50
week you are talking about would make
$40. '-NeaC York Weekly.
TIE humorist may cudgel his brain
IN vain to earn the laugh which an Or
binary man can raise by falling down
slippery understandable Journal.
THREE scruple3 make a drachm, but
most Of the boys take the dram first
and let the scruples come in at the sec
ond table-SGtiIgs.
FoGG is inclined to think that a cock
tail is not an unmixed evil.-BOstOn
transcript.
IT doesn't add any additionally wise
reason to many strikes for shorter hours
that they take place in winter, when the
days are already short enough.-PhiIa-
delphid Times.
No well-bred barber will cut an &C
quaintance .-Picayltae.
WHAT an awful thing it must be for a
mule to have cold earsi-Bmghduato Re
publican.
MANY an eminent surgeon occasionally
suits poor figure III his profession
Boston Courier.
JAGsoN says the greatest cause of suf-
fering 10 Darkest Africa is too much
water melon EiDajr0 Gazette
No, Ethel. it is not stealing to take a
cold whenever you can find one unoc-
cupied.--D aesriHe Breeze.
CALL that fellow baritone ?" said
the disguised auditor. He's only
bass imitation. IndjanopoIs J0qtr1oat
THE Girl Who Took Ny Eye" is the
title of an article. Her name must have
been 'Cinda.--Augusta Ca Chronicle.
FRENCH duels with the small sword
are seldom Illustrated with cuts, except
in the papers the next morning -SaUa4a-
nah Neacs.
Dir. KELLEY appears to be in bad odor
with the other doctors since he gave
away the asafntida secret Louisville |
Co1lrier-J journal.
IF handwriting is an index of charac-
ter some newspaper reporters ought to |
feel afraid to go to bed with themselves |
Understandable Journal.
Ir's remarked as a strong proof Of
disposition to assert itself that |
few girls learning the violin care to |
use the chin-rest. philadelphia Times.
JOHNNY" said the elder little broth
er, ''you must be sure not to ask for
any Of the wild duck twice" "Why ?"