The Bossier banner., 1892-08-18
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Mrs. B.-'Dear me! what lovely
closets this fiat has!" Madame,
those are not the closets They are the
bedrooms. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
-Twynn-"What awful language
that parrot usesr' Triplett-"You see
his cage hangs In the same room with
the telephone. "-Ex.
MAN is good deal like fish. You
know the fish would never get in very
serious trouble If it kept it's mouth shut
-Yonkers Statesman.
Tommy "Paw, when man COM
mits political suicide does he shoot his
head off" Mr.. Figg-"No; merely his
mouth. h."-Indianapolis Journal.
An Exception.-'Remem Brud-
'ler, dat de rain falls on bofe de just am
de unjust" 'Huh! Notwhen de unjust
kin borry an umbrella, Deacon. "-Blaek
and White.
--Charlie-''I pity you, Jack, when
see your creditors pushing you. That
is a trouble never had" Jack-"No.
You probably never had any credit. t.
Kate Fields Washington.
-Deco1ette Salary.-She-"Mrs. Fig
urante is said to put about everything
her husband earns on her back" He
81 should judge by her gown tonight
that his salary had been reduced -
II. Y. Herald.
Are you sure Parker married Mrs.
P. for love?' Certainly. Do you sup
pose a man who not only let's his wife
buy his neckties, but actually wears
them, doesn't love her passionately?''
Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs Gray-"I fear I am failing
fast" Mrs -''Nonsense! l only
hope / shall look as well when / am of
your age" Mrs Gray (sotto voce)-
when she is of my age! The hateful
old thingv'-Bostou Transcript.
"A Cause for Silerce.-Mabel Ito
Maud, who has just looked through
Mabel's MSS. .)--"You didn't know /
was an authoress, Maud, did you?'
Maud-'eNo, my dear; and if you take
my advice, You won't let anybody else
know it, either"
They had had little party of guests
at the house, and he remarked to his
wife, as he was getting ready for bed.
that he fattered himself he had acted
the part of host in rather brilliant
manner. 81 can recall only one bril-
liant action of yours" said his wife.
''WelI, what was that?' Lighting the
gas"
--Intuition.-Col. Gorehunter-"Ah,
my dear Miss Pinkerly, this is an unex-
pected pleasure, to have you alone for
few moments. Wouldn't you like to
hear how / got through the enemy's
lines at Chattanooga?'- Miss Pinkerly
81 can easily imagine, colonel You
probably bored your way through. IN.
Y. Sun.
MARIA" called out Mr.. Billus in an
agitated voice, 81 have lost my pocket
book; can't find it anywhere!' sit is
exactly where you left it last night,
john" replied Mrs. Billus from the top
of the stairway ''It is in the left hip
pocket of the striped trousers you hung
up ON the last hook of the closet; but
there isn't anything il it-now. Chi
cago 1nter-Ocean.
Mrs. Sicovit-'I am completely dis
gusted with the habit our society ladies
are getting into of conversing in French.
There should be a duty on all foreign
languages coming into our country"
Mr. Verityred-'O, that is unnecessary,
| assure you. Their French is not q
foreign article. 1t is most decidedly
home product. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
"A pretty girl from Kalamazoo, visit
ing friends in Detroit (says the Free
Press), met young man the other
evening at reception. Are you a
resident of Detroit?" he asked, shortly
after their meeting. 20, no." she said,
''pm from Kalamazoo" A peculiar
smile fitted across his face; smile of
half-sympathy, half-suffering. And
you," she asked, quickly noting it, as
women do, land you are from the other
place?" He nodded. 1t was true. He
was from Oshkosh