The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-04-10


would extend TO the enormous length Of
243 miles
Leuwenhoek has computed that 10000
threads of the web of q fuil-grown spider
are not larger than a single hair of mans
beard. He calculates that when young
spiders begin to spin 400 of their threads are
not larger than one from O full sized insect.
If this be q fact 4. 200. 900 webs of a young
spider are not as large as q single hair from
o mans face.
BUMOR OF TIE DAY.
Not Solemn Enough.
"Did you hear about Lowelps works be-
ing thrown out of the Boston Public Lii
braryP
"No; what was the troubled"
Some one told the trustees that Lowell
was humorist."
Got No Change.
Smith Gray's Monthly.
II carry all my money IN my inside vest
pocket" said acknowledgements
where do you carry yoursp
I'm my hat" Iaconically replied Cox.
who had just como out of fashionable"
hat-sIore with new tile.
Always the Second Wife.
Smith Gray's Monthly.
Mrs Wyckoff-Thomas! You never told
me you were married before All. men are
deceivers ever; they say that even Adam
Mr.. Wyckoff-So be did; but it was his
second wife that raised Cain.
He Could Easily Spare It
Puck.
Aunt stayIong (going away)-Can't We
lend me q trunk strap, Georgef
Mr. Kidder-Weil, now. We haven't one
In the house.
Johnny Kidder-But there's strap hang.
ing in the wood-shed. Aunty. Phi getit for
you.
Two Views of 1t
Detroit Free Press.
singular idea that about our growing
shorter grow older" said Shagg; Il
don't half believe 1t myself"
There must be exceptions TO the rule"
answered Boggs. IF / should live to be a
hundred couldn't be any shorter than /
am now"
Selfish Parents.
Good News
Small boy..Mamma. when viii there be
another warf
Mamma-Never, hope.
Small Boy-Huh! You and papa saw a
great big war when you was young. an
now you don't care whether us chiIdrens
has any fun or not"
Puck.
Author-Mary, have made mistake in
my calling; Pm not an author. but born
chemist.
Authors Wife-What makes you think
Author-Well. every book 1 write be-
comes drug in the market.
A Satisfactory Verdict
Puck.
Citizen with two revolvers and Win
chesterfield ye view tn body o. tn chump
We lynched last night
Coroner tremblInglyl-Y-e-s!
Citizen tthreateninglyl-Wat y'r YER
Coroner hastily Committed suicide at
the hands of persons unknown.
Indignantly Resented.
II don't believe you ever did q lick of
honest work in your life," said the woman
of the house.
You wrong me, madam" answered the
shabby itinerant at the kitchen door.
burning blush dyeing his swarthy. earth
kissed cheek. You have got me mixed up
in your mind with some alderman"
Too Good to Toll.
Smith d Gray's Monthly.
Mrs. Sanger-What were you laughing at
while papa was saying gracei
Edith-JuS Joke.
Mrs. Sanger-Why. Edith! what sort of q
jokc'
Edith-A private joke.
Mrs. Sanger-Can't you tell me about irf
Edith-NO, il was JUS d private Joke
tween me an bod.
Everything Has It's Use.
New York Sun.
II saw In the paper" observed Hunker.
as he passed the tripe without helping him
self to any, that a scientist has discovered
method of tanning tripe that makes ex-
cellent leather of it,"
There" replied Skidde passing the
plate TO the next boarder with its load un-
diminished, Il always knew that some use
tor tripe would eventually be found"
Averting Trouble.
New YORK Weekly.
Maid tbreathlesslyl-Oh. Miss. both the
gents you IL engaged to has called. and
they're In the parlor. and, somehow or oth-
er, they've found 1t out. and, oh, miss. I'm
'fraid there'll be trouble.
Miss Flirtie-Horrorsl Oh, dear, What
shall dot
Maid latter refectionl-PlI fix II. I'll run
an tell 'em you're cryin' y'r eyes ont ,cause
W father has iost all his money.