The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-09-14
Some Old Stories of Paddy.

Our grandfathers used to laugh over
the wit of Paddy quite as much as we
do to-day, and | am not at all sure
that in the olden time Paddy was not
much brighter than his descendants
are now. In looking over an old vol
ume of curious anecdotes, published
quite seventy years ago, which has
been lying upon my shelf for many
day, find quite number of evidences
that our ancestors had deal of fun
provided for them at Paddy's expense,
and of very rare quality too.
One of these stories is told of the
Irish servant of naval commander,
who had the misfortune one day to let
a teakettle fall overheard. In fear and
trembling he rushed to his master and
cried out to him:
"Plaze, yer honor, can anything be
said to be losht whin ye know where
it isP"
Certainly not, replied the officer.
"Whyp"
"Why, thin, yer honor, ye may think
the taykettle is losht but it amt, sorr.
I know where it is, sorr. It's at the
bottom of the ocean, sorr.'
1t would certainly be difficult to find
fault with one who made such beau
tiful bull as that just because he
had lost so insignificant an article as
teakettle.
Another anecdote teaches in mirth-
full guise lesson our boys and girls
can not afford to leave unlearned,
which is, that true politeness always
pays. The story states that an Irish
officer in the midst of a hot battle
happening to indulge in the courtesy
of bow to someone on the field, can
non ball passed directly over his head
and took off that of the soldier i'm
mediately behind him. The bow alone
saved his life, which he had the wit to
see apparently, for turning to a soldier
near him, he observed: "You see, my
man, fellow never loses anything by
politeness.
An Irish Judge who was much an
noyed by loud conversation in the
court room crieu out:
"Silencei Keep silence in the court.
Here have decided dozen cases this
morning without hearing what one of
them was about"
In General Moore's command was
an Irish soldier who, having been
asked if the Hollanders were a hospi-
table people, Immediately replied:
"They are that. Too much so. Oh was
in the hoshpital all the tonne l was
| there"
This criticism is quite on a par with
that of the Englishman who objected
to the French because he said the
stupid idiots couldn't understand their
own language when he spoke it to
them.
Another good story in the collection
over which we can imagine our grand
fathers laughed heartily is of an Irish
gentleman who was visited one day by
friend who found him very much
vexed.
"What is the matter?" asked the
visitor. "You seem much disturbed. .
Il am," he answered. give just
lost new pair of black silk stockings
out of my room that cost me eighteen
shillings."
Have you searched everywhere?'
asked the friend.
EYES," he said, everywhere; and
not finding them I have sent for the
town crier, who will cry them and
offer half-crown reward"
The friend expressed his surprise
that the owner should offer so small &
reward for the recovery of stocking;
of silk, and of such value
"That's all right, he replied, in g
confidential tone. "Nobody'Il know
I ordered the crier to sag they a0ert
100rSted."
1t is to be hoped he got them.-Har.
per'S Young People.