The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-10-31

enedl' These arc EXPLANATIONS which
our grandmothers and grandfathers
would make on looking over modern adj
vertising pages.
What a smart, alert, ingenious world
this is anyway! A soap manufacturer
has a toilet soap which is warranted to
leave delicate and lasting odor A
shaving soap manufacturer frightens us
with the case of an actor who had his
face poisoned by the use Of cheap shaw
ing soap made of putrid fats. The
maker Of lamp says, "All the care it re-
quires is filling and wiping once day
and putting wick in once in six
months" Here are stamped metal cell
ings, pretty things for your new house.
There are many books from which all
the plans and drawings for houses and
stables may be taken. Porcelain bath
tubs, in the pictures of which cupids
are playing, attract our eye as one of
the new Injuries. Inside they are as
smooth and white as alabaster, and the
man who invented them deserves re-
ward in two worlds. A man who is
willing to help you roof your house in a
new tangled way tells you that "a
stained single is to painted one as
velvet is to silk-the one is soft, rich
and warm; the other bright, sheeny and
cold"
Modern ingenuity and modern adver-
Using have brought to civilization the
benefits Of delicious chewing gum
which cures indigestion, a tubular ear
cushion which cures deafness, print
ing outfit which costs only fifteen cents,
a perfect substitute for mothers milk,
canned corn put up with pure spring
water, an evaporated cream for the
morning coffee which insures us against
waiting for the milkman and worry
about his stall fed COWS, hygienic mat
Gated air, book which will enable all
of us to win at whist, and safety razor
with which man may shave jag off
his face without danger of cutting his
fevered cheek.
In these happy days one may buy good
looking shoes of leather absolutely
waterproof. He may read a pamphlet
and learn how to cure himself of STAN
mering. He may avail himself of the
great secret Of the canary breeders of
the Harz mountains and thus restore
the song Of the cage birds. He may buy
a time damper regulator, SO that on re-
firing he may be sure the draft in his
steam, hot air OF hot water heater will
be open at any hour in the morning he
chooses without having to get up him
self or to depend upon that most I'M
regulated regulator = the hired girl.
Another great boon which the Nine
teenth century man enjoys is that Of
buying for twenty-five cents package
a patent powder which, dissolved in
water, stirred for moment and then
sprinkled on the coal in the bin, is war
ranted to give the coal 25 per cent. more
heating power, abate clinkeks, smoke
and SCOT, make a quick, hot fire and
never blow mp the shop.
There is no limit to the conveniences
thoughtfully provided for us by the keen
men of trade and made known to us
through the advertisements. Our wives
are taught to cut, tailorlike, at home.
They may buy an ounce of factory
ends of embroidery silk, all colors, by
mail for forty cents. The art of acquir-
ing personal beauty, which is the art of
all arts in New York city, may be
learned from u ten cent book. Fat men
may cast off fifteen pounds a month and
get all particulars for four cents. If
you have weak knees, weak ankles,
swollen joints or varicose veins, you are
invited to try elastic stockings with
seamless heels In case your children
want building blocks, you are informed
where you may buy the latest sort at
prices varying from twenty cents to for
ty-two dollars box.
A Chicago hotel keeper PIRATES of the
advantages of his inn and assures you
that other rice people have stopped with
him by printing their names A new
luxury is a stove without smoke, with
out smell, without gas, without Chin
ney, warranted to burn anywhere. You
may study law at home by taking a
course of correspondence instructions.
A dermatologist will "put new face
on you, make red nose white, remove
superhuous hair, round up thin face,
remove wrinkles, take off birthmarks,
make ears stand closer to the head,
make fat jowl thinner and more grace
full, build up sunken cheeks" Another
man will cure you of the tobacco habit,
while your next door neighbour the
advertising pages entices you with the
luxury of his smoking tobacco.
This is the era Of pictures, and no one
knows it better than the skillful advertis-
er. One-half Of all the magazine adj
vertisements of this day have pictures
in them.
Here is fat man proposing marriage
with pretty girl. She refuses him Oh
account Of his shape. and the advertiser
offers to reduce his flesh and enable him
to try again With good prospect of sue
cess, for only $3.50. A playing card
manufacturer attracts attention with
picture of Cleveland and Stevenson play
ing whist against Harrison and Reid,