Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-11-19

celved, W C h a 9
signed "Yours, &C.,
-" He said further that he had made a
study of the question of how to end a letter,
and that he could never forgive a man for be-
ing ignorant Of the proper forms to be used.
Perfection in trifles of this kind he thought of
great Importance.
How oughta letter to end, anyhow? This is
hardly question OF rule, but rather of taste
70 u might, if you were ordering a sewing ma
chine by letter, precede your signature with the
words yours, DC, but even there it would be
better to write out what you mean and the
recipient of the letter would be better pleased if
you said Yours respectfully" or simply "Re-
specifically" You are supposed to hold him in
a certain degree of respect. 1t would be mani
festly absurd to say yours faithfully" In
business communications the best form of all is
probably the simple word Respectfully" or
"Yours respectfully" or Every respectfully"
CHANGE IN EPIsroLAnY ETIQUETTE.
There has been change in this matter of
epistolary etiquette. and the tendency nova
days Is to be informal, whereas our ancestors
used every kind of resounding Formally When
Gen. Washington wrote to his friend Gen Nor
gan he signed the letter "Your obedient humble
servant" When he was most yielding and I'M
burdenlng his heart to the friend of his bosom
he signed "Your afectionate humble servant"
People who in those days liked to be obseauious
used the most extravagant expressions of hu-
mility. frequently saying "Your very obedient
humble servant" No man now, and certainly
no American, could bring himself to stoop so
low. The form of "obedient servant" has now
almost disappeared. but few conservative
people still use it, and in England it is common
People differ in the form they use some pre-
ferring one form to another, but you can gen.
orally see a cold, self-contained nature in the
man who never relaxes when he closes his let
ter. In writing to friend it is rather mean
ingless TO close by simply saving. believe me.
yours truly If you want to be emphatic you
may say simply, "Your friend" This means
volumes. and 10 man should suffer himself to
use it to more than five or six people 1t would
be strange If any one had actually more genuine
friends than that But when you scribble a
note to your intimate acquaintance you may
relax and finish it yours, which is equivalent
to nod of good day"
But suppose you are writing to a woman
how should your note be signed then? That
depends upon the woman, but you may make
one general rule that it is better not to close
with the words ''your friend unless you are a
young man writing to an old woman or an old
man writing to young woman. Two Young
people, man and a woman-are not supposed
to be in search Of friendly relations. but rather
relations of more tender character In the
same way only say to your female relations
yours affectionately." No matter how well
you know q woman you may be sure she de-
mands feeling more interesting than affection
from you. OF course. she may love you as a
brother, but il things have got TO that lament
able pass you and she will not be apt to CORE
spond.
SOME GOOD SUGGESTIONS
When you have only q general acquain tame G
with a woman and have occasion to write to
her sign yourself Every sincerely yours" Az
you begin to know her better You may perhaps
say, faithfully yours" later on YOU NAV get
to always faithfully yours then it is only a
step to ''devotedly yours and finally You may
reach the last stage of progress and close .'your
Jack or John or whatever sour name may be.
There IL no mistakng the meaning OF that but
1t Is stupid Of man always to adhere to one
form. A woman examines the letters she gets
narrowly ard sees in them meanings that the
writer supposes would escape her. She can tell
with more or less correctness the hnmor and
real feeling of the writer-whether he is writ
ing because he wants to or because he has to-
She can tell IL there is a note of insinceritv
often. for the studied compliments that are
earthly written are very different from the
careless ones that come from the heart. She
lays stress not only upon the closing sentence
of letter, but upon the beginning of it, 4f
you omit to say my dear -" and put it
simply "dear =" she will notice it, Yet this
little trihe of the my is made more of By wo-
men than by men. The latter usually see no
simply dear ~ or my dear -" indis-
criminately. but it is not so with many women
They regard it of importance. and if they like
you begin with the my and if they suddenly
drop it you may be certain you have displeased
them in some way.
In beginning a letter there is not much lati-
tude. few old people like to begin ''My
dear friend" and it is quaint and pleasant. but
whatever you do, don't begin q letter to any,
body Friend Smith," or Friend john 1t
is q mark OF lack Of education and is altogether
| abominable. Cali the man you are writing to
"dear," unless you know him very slightly. or
wish to quarrel with him, in which case begin
Sir" In writing letter'in which You insult
| man, or return to him the insult he has given
You, You should be very careful not to give
him any advantage over yOu and consequently
your form of address must be carefully at
tended to. Begin the letter thus: ''John
Smith, esq, Boston, Mass SIR Then go on
| and tell HIM he is a perjured villain that he
doesn't pay his debts; tina! he is notorious
| coward, and that you will punch his head when
ever or wherever you may happen to see 1t.
But you owe il to yourself to close the letter
properly, and the most approved form among
educated quarrelers Is; Your obedient SER
| want" Don't say respectfully" or truly, ~
for that is not true, but you are This obedient
servant in the sense that you arc at his service
to give him a thrashing, if You think you are
able to do it.
SlMfLt NONSENSE.
The word "truly," it may be remarked, should
never be signed by itself. Toeiose Very truly,
John Smith. is simply nonsense. To say it is
true you are yourself is what you have done.
In the same way the expression sometimes used
in official correspondence, 81 have the honor to
be, John Jones" is ridiculous. Is it an honor
to you to be yourself! And supposng it is, is
it in good taste for you to say so? 1t is lust as
easy to put in the little word that makes sense
out Of what would otherwise be nonsense OF
course nobody can really stop to consider the
actual truth Of the assertion with which letter
is closed. You would hardly walk up 10 a man
who you know is a mean fellow and say, INV
dear fellow, really do respect you," yet you
write to him and sign your letter respectfully
yours" 1t is not mendaciousness on your par,
to do this. The words are purely conventional
forms and mean no more than your greeting Of
good day" to man whose day may be good
or bad SO far as your caring goes. ANY one
who looks upon the close OF o letter as an idea
OF genuine sentiments makes mistake as a gen.
eral rule, but it does show something when il ia
an unusual ending and is written for that pur-
pose.
1t is hmentable fact, but it must be ad-
mitted as true, that the art of letter writing
may almost be ranked with that of making
chain armor. Both belonged to a period that
Is passed. and have now M lopo.r he ,,.,<,l