The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-02-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A double chin-when two women
meet.
You can't measure girls love by its
sighs. -Elmira Gazette.
OF two women choose the one that
will have you.-Texas Siftings.
Spain has increased the tariff on cork,
but it is still buoyant. Herald.
Nebraska has an Indian lawyer. OF
course he is a Sioux. Minneapolis Tri.
bune.
The dark ages are the ones that elderly
spiusscTs refuse to divulge. st. Joseph
News.
1t is when the turkey is il the oven
that the cook studies Browning. Lowell
Courier.
A literary man becomes nobleman
when he is baron of ideas. Lowell
Courier.
A statesman can always get pull by
gong to the dentists office. Bingham
ton Republican.
There are too many people in the
world who use their nest eggs to make
cake of.--Atchison Globe.
Smiles that crack in the middle with
their metallic hardness convey but little
cordiality.-Charleston News.
When wild young men start out for
fun they are going to have it if they have
to fight for it.-Dallas News.
OF course it is possible for -.
to be "fair and square, but We like her
better if she Is round. Boston Post.
The debtor may have the consolation
of knowing that there is always some-
body thinking of him, m,-Columbu Post
Mrs. Bacon-"What sour look DR..
Pill has" Little Minnie-'I guess he
takes his own medicine, mann
Statesman.
Stephen Tehee has been elected Sc
chief of the Cherokee Nation.
we should giggle.-Memphis Appt
Avalanche.
A mans character is like a ph
graphic negative. 1t is black
has been subjected to the chemistry Z
circumstances.
''Did Ann gain much by going te
Vassar7" ''Yes. she gained an f on
the end of her name. She is Anne now."
Brooklyn Life. y
ga man can accomplish great deal,"
said the Missouri Judge, ''if he only hi
time-therefore give you four years.'
columbus Post.
"This is a bad sign," says Hicks, as
the shingle of Bludboory, Blithers & Co.
has blown from its place and landed on
his high hat,-Harpers Bazar
The man who never puts of till to-
morrow what he can do to day must in
evitably eat a great deal more than is
good for him.-Someryllle Journal.
''Let's go into the restaurant aud get
something to eat. ~ "But I'm not hn'
gry." "Thats no matter; you will
before you get anything. lid Bits.
"Why do you go to the concert if yc
don't care for musicl" "To amuse m
self. You have no idea how happy
feel when it's over. Flegende Blaett
Patient-'Doctor, fancy, some
I've got a touch of the gout." Doc
"Fancy, my dear sir If you had
wouldn't fancy-youd know."-C
He-"I never can understan'
but l suppose that's natural"
"Why9" He-"Well, | suppos,
possible for pretty girl to bep
New York Press.
81 am afraid that George is triair
me-" "Why, dearl" "He has
telling me l am too good a woman
the wife of such man as he is.'
dianapolis Journal.
New Clerk-"Whst do the jobb
mean by putting &C. o. d. on all
packages they send us.' Jeweler--
guess they think we are a little fshy.'
jewelers. Weekly.
Watts-"Every man has his
secret sorrow, guess" Potts-"l
indeed. Even the happiest appear
man has a skeleton in his midst =
dianapolis Journal.
Gan is fair in love and war. isn'tit.
she said. ~ don't know he reptile,
doubtfully, "I'ye been in love a good
many times, but never was married.
Detroit Free Press.
"How are you coming on with your
tragedy" "Better than | expected. I've
killed off all tho nrincipal characters ex-
eept two, and they are not on speUEing
terms. Texas Siftings.
"A eynic is man who is tiEed Of the
world, is he noti" the young h0gmfge
student asked. "No, no, my chiId,p re. y
piled the knowing tutor. "a cynie is
man OF whom the world is tired"
"What did the minister preach
aboutl" asked a lady of her little son,
who had attended church. "He preached
about two hours, ma, said the
small hopeful. Detroit Free Press.