Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-05-12
IEA-TABLE SALAD

hills II n asl; ;, called to collect those
s.W w. when l sent you" Mr.. SoniIlsN
nae gu are perfectly welcome to tho,
liquor. Here they are, all in ono , Iaa;l
e'. pharmaceutical Era. NV p''0A
q MR. NoRRIs--"Is the ianitor of
liat honest?'' Mr.. SkvHighN.f o, uul
30, 1 gave him S. when I movs sdo -,
last May, and | haven't had to Inv vi b ~
one TON OF coal since" -Life ou'
AT THE THEATER.- IN ooro
Ipolntlng to a lady in box)-ssSwate,
neart me darlint, phwart,s that %,
Evening dress. !" fris b ,na1
falx, an, Oh thought it was her ninb,
oress. Pick Ne Up. -A's Il
AT HOME AND ABRoAD.-Dickar-
am told that VAIL is a yerv d;ffarant
y, IN his family than on the street ,;
BOND" Yes; Mrs. VAIL saws he's g
puil on the street and a bear at homo D
-NeV York Herald. 'ii-o'
FROM THE FRENcH.-Poultrv DEALER
how did you like the goose's live,
you MAD yesterdays" Young House.
keeper-"lt was very nice, indeed
want another one, but from the same
goose, remember. Ieros .Siftinos.
MISS LAURA ooh, Auntle You "a.
member Mr.. Meeker, who went from
mere as a missionary? I inst heard
that those awful capnibals ate him IN,
AUNT Sophronia-"La me | do hone
they cooked him with turnips. The
poor, dear man was SO fond of turn1ps,
you know. Indianapolis Journal.
PArIENr-" Doctor, fancy, somehow.
I've got a touch of the gout.'' Doctor
Fancy. my dear sir If you had Won
wouldn't fancy-you'd know.''-Neu
York Meas. N''
"ALL's fair in love and war, isn't it?''
she said. Il don't know" he replied
doubtfully. 81 have been in love a
good many times, but l never was mar
rled. '-Ne,o York News.
GRACE-"'George told me last night
that he loved me to distraction. y
Ethel:-"1es. have always heard that
insanity was hereditary in his family,
poor fellow. "-Horcard Lanpoon.
ETHEL-"Ma, want some water to
chrlsten my doll" Ethel's Ma-"No
dear; 1t Is wrong, you know" Ethel
"Wcll, then, | want some wax to waxi
nate her. She's old enough now tc
have something done for her. - Drake,
Magazine.
A WASHINGTON man has a bright
youngster who succeeded recently in
getting even with his father in q very
telling though unconscious manner
HIS father was reproving the little fell
lows table manners. don't do that
said he, cor We'll have to call YOU lit.
tie pig" The warning seemed to be
lost, for the fault was repeated. "Dc
you know what pig is?" was the in
quiry, put in a solemn manner. Eyes
sir" "What is it?" GA pig is hogs
little boy" The lesson in etiquette was
suspended Washington Star.
lis your father in favor of patronizine
home Industry" asked visitor OF
Freddy. II think he is, judging by the
way he makes me work." replied
Freddy.
SEMINARY TEACHER esterday J read
you the histories of some famous heroic
acts; now, Ella, what would you consider
an example of modern deed OF
heroism?" Ella-"To refuse a lieu
tenant. -Hiegeade Blatter.
MORTALITY - "Honora, hasn't thot
young man av yures gone yit?" Miss
Moriarty-"Not Wit, pepper" Mortar
ty--"Well, you'd betther be askln' him
if he thinks it's curtin or a wake thot
he's sittin' up to ''-P,lck.
"DID you ask your husband where he
was last night ?'' asked the much-inter-
ested neighbor: yes; and | have
every reason to believe he told me the
truth" Indeed ?" Eyes; he said he
did not know. "-Judge.
WIrE-"Oh, George, the water-pipe
is leaking and the water is spelling the
new hall carpet. Go and get plumb
er, quick" Husband That's all
right, my dear let it go; it's cheaper to
get a new carpet" -Harrard Lampoon.
CopL1NG-"Why, Chappie, you look
fatigued. What's the trouble?' Cos
lin-'sI am quite tired, Cholly. | got
up this mawning ten minutes carrier
than usual instead of remaining In BED
ten minutes later than usual, as gen
ewally do."-Horper's Ba1ar.
TAXING TINE BY THE FoRELocK.
Spriggs-'It looks to me as If 1t were
Going to rain before night Brlggs--
ais that so? | must start right Out
now. then, and borrow an umbrella Q
fore the other fellow noticeslt. '-Somer-
ellie Journal
Wonderful Nerve.