Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1892-08-12
MOLLIE'S SCHEME.

That must have confidant is clear.
Just think of me, woman, keeping a
secret whole year!-and such joke, such
a series of jokesl laugh every time /
think of them.
There is not one human being dare
trust; they would either be SO amused or
shocked they would disclose everything,
and then-that is catastrophe do not
care to anticipate.
Fred is good looking, stylish fellow on
the right side of thirty.
'"That might be me-" exclaim all the
young husbands reading this, emphatical-
iy if not dramatically.
But he is the most obstinate, conceited,
selfish man you can imagine.
"Oh, that must be some other fellow!''
they all exclaim.
On the other hand, am very charming,
pretty, stylish and amiable. am not yet
twenty-five and know more than poor,
dear Fred ever began to. AS / am the
only person who would recognize this por-
trait-except, possibly, my nlother-I con-
slider my character sufficiently disguised
to tell my story safely.
Fred and had been married four years,
and welded life had begun to lose some of
its charms. had no family or housekeep-
ing cares to occupy me. We lived in a
small town noted for it's social life, but
Fred from being a society youth, a leader
of the german" had forsworn such vani-
ties. Things were ''slow." When Fred
came home at night from smoking and
gossiping down town-he called it business
we would have to get up u quarrel after
dinner just to amuse ourselves.
Finally Fred got into the habit of tele-
graphing home and staying down to dine
with 1.-THE boys" while took my meal in
solitary state, or if he dined with me in
the evening he would drop in later at the
club for game of whist. AS last straw
he became interested in the militia and
had about decided to join the national
guard.
Now there was very silly thing which
| would not have Fred know for anything.
Despite his selfishness and his looking upon
me as an Aofttold tale," was still very
fond of him. Even the quarrels, SO long
as he was near me, were better than alb
sence and Indifference I was truly I'M
happy, but felt quite helpless, as had
little faith in protestations and remon-
that what Fred needed were novelty and
excitement.
Il do wish something would happen! If
the house would catch fire or l could have
fever-not a bad oner' exclaimed aloud
one night as sat alone in the house. Our
solitary maid was out with her ''soldier
boy" and Fred had dropped in" at a
neighbours for game of cards.
cfI NJ Of fha
windows.
Burglars" 1 whispered joyously; but
alas! it was only stray breeze playing tag
with some loose leaves. / should not be
disappointed-I would have burglars. /
atricals were my joy and Fred had just
vetoed my taking part in some. He did
not approve of them since our marriage,
though he had been very enthusiastic
about them formerly.
swell, young man." l soliloquized, IT
will get up some private theatricals my
self, and as there are no love scenes per-
haps you won't object. If you are good
you can have complimentary ticket"
l went down to the kitchen, and with a
knife handle broke pane of glass; making
place large enough for mans arm to go
through. Then I turned the catch and
left the window unfastened.
"This is where my burglar got in,"
explained.
Next opened the sideboard drawers
and rather disturbed their contents.
mo use, Mr.. Burglar" I laughed, 'sthe
silver is all up stairs"
was becoming quite interested in "my
burglar" by this time. pictured him as
tall and cross eyed. with scar on his left
cheek l would know him anywhere if l
met him-as there was no danger Of my
doing
In going through the halls disarranged
the rugs, as person would be likely to dc
in making hasty exit. Up stairs upset
the contents of three bureau drawers in a
heap On the floor, feloniously purloining
some empty purses
The scenery nov being ready, it was
high time for the actors TO ssmake up"
Rougeg Out of the question. Lily Whitee
With discretion; it would never do to have
the water they might dash in my face run
off like city milk. Hair loose and dis
heveled as brush could make it. Bruises?
Well, l did try them with ink, but not
being much Of an artist, decided to omit
them. A few rents in an old gown add
ed considerably to my picturesque appear
ance.
Ten o'clock and eight minutes. All
ready? Ring up the curtain while bring
In the audience.
Ihurriedly ran down stairs, turned out
The hall light and threw the front door
wide open. No one in sight, threw an
empty purse upon the stoop and hurried TO
The telephone. rang violently, then,
dropping the ear piece, where allowed it
TO remain, screamed:
"Burglarsl Burglars!! Burglars!!! Help!
My husbandl Sniffinsl Call himl Helpl
O-o-hp'
Still screaming and calling as I left the
.'phone," hustled about with couple OF
chaips, making q distracted noise. Then
hearing approaching footsteps, ! threw
myself upon the floor and lay apparently
swooning.
In rushed Fred, the Snifflns and several
others.
"How was it? Did they get anything?
Are you hurt? How many were there?
How did they get in? Where did he get
out?" were only few of the questions, all
asked at once
As I could not answer all ] merely
ecreamed.
OF course Fred was frightened about me,
SO to keep his interest up | had regula-
ton attack of Mysteries, ! really could
not help them. | was SO suffoeated with
laughter. Tt was such fun 10 see them Sc
excited! l had fully intended to tell them
in few minutes, but Fred enjoyed himself
so hugely, he was in such a delightful
state Ct Importance, had not the heart to
crush him,
By the time I was completely restored
and had washed off the powder and fixed
my hair the neighbors came in for particu
lars. l brought out refreshments, and
Fred told hundred times how he had
found me fainting, and that he was GER
tain the thief had entered the kitchen win
dow.
Really, IT was the pleasantest evening
we had passed for months, and 4Mollie's
Burglar" was boon to the neighborhood.
It is needless to say he was never found.
The following evening Fred took me to
the theater ''To cheer me up" he said
For several nights following the neigh
bors called TO INQUIRE. These calls had to