The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-05-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Out on q lark-Feathers.

"Has a settled look"-A receipted
bill.
A counter -irritant-Thc vinegarish
saleslady. --,
Makes little things count-The teacher,
of the smallest class in arithmetic.
1t is sometimes hard to tell where
business sagacity leaves off and down
right rascality begins. Sittings.
The mother hunts for bargains,
And the father handles stocks, r !
But the babies In the cradle
Are the ones that get the 'rocks." ~
A woman is never so likely to be mis-
caken at any other time as she is when
she is perfectly sure. "-Somerville
Journal.
There are twin brothers in Brixtou so
much alike that they frequently borrow
money of each other without knowing it.
It'd Bits.
Gummey-"Now that is what call
taking picture" Chambers --"Yesi it's a
painting of a apickpockct at work. DE
troit Free Press.
He (at the dinner table to young wife)
-"NIy dear wiley, begin TO think that
there are few misprints in your cookery
book. LA Tribuna.
Lady Ito her legal friend) --'You
won't charge for q question, l hopep
Lawyer-"0h, no; only for the answer" I"
-Eliegende Blaetter.
81 wouldn't marry the best man in
creation" said Estele. "rhat lets me
out" said Chappie. "Farewcll forever"
New York Herald. -
''Manilly is the toughest paper known,
believe" said Wicliwire, incidentally.
"Say," queried Nudge, "wacro can I
get copy"-Tudianapolis Journal. \
Ike, ,Jr.-"Whata are you smiling about,
motherl" Mrs. Partington's Niece
"I'm reading q funny story and have Just
got to the smilax. Buffalo Express.
"Sweet, must go; tits late" said he;
She did not moan or shiver,
But, looking at him smilingly
Said: "Better late than never"
Chicago Sun.
Teacher -''How many scruples are
there in dram'" Dick Hic&s--"Sup-
posed to be three, but most druggists
sell 'em without any. y."-New York Her
aid.
"I'm so sorry" said Mrs. Parvenu,
bidding good night to her guests after
the reception, "that the storm kept all
our best people awayl'-Boston Her
aid.
Visitor--"Do life prisoners survive
very long7" Keepor-"Only those whose
sentences were committed because they
had but short time to live. New York
Sun.
"Papa, what is patrimonyl" at is
what is inherited from father, my dear"
"Oh; and then is matrimony something
inherited from tho otherl"-Brookly
Life.
Jacls-"Sho is not generally considered
belle, and yet have seen her look kill
ing" ChSrlie--"Indeedl When was
that" Jack--"At ball once when ]
trod upon her rain."-Kate Fields
Washington.
Editor (of monthly magazine, after
reading the manuscripO--''Your poem,
ellt huo ElOhb AlASAoA1 n hbilOl
OF Poem Qn voice of agony )--"Then
Of course you can't use itch icago
Tribune.
How we do laugh over the pictures
we had taken when we were youngl BY
the way, wonder what we would have
Thought in carly life could we have seen
the photographs we have had taken since
we reached middle lifo?-Boston Tram
script.
A teacher Of natural philosophy once
asked the bright bog Of the class how
many kinds of force there were, and was
astouishcd to receive the following re-
ply; "Three, maam. Mental force,
physical force aud police force. "-Phar.
maceutical Era.
"What book is that you are readingn
asked Mrs. Suaggs Of her husband. "lt's
a book on tree culture, my dear" "You
don't want 20 know anything on that
subject, do your "Yos; want to learn
how 20 raise an ambush. '--.Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Bank Clerk. ."It's shame, tho
way some men rob their employers by
loating when they're paid TO work.
There's bricklayer on that new build
ing across the street who hasn't dous q
stroke for an hou,---I know Il because
I've done nothing but watch him. -