davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
Hints to the Postmaster General.

It is all right, this talk ofmail delivery at
the farmers door, but the Government wants
to remember one thing-really it should be
able to remember two or three things, but it
won't do to overburden the Government
it wants to remember that the daily de-
livery of mail in the rural districts will
have to be preceded by the construction of
roads in those districts. If that is not done,
the mail carrier will have to learn to f1y
before they can receive an appointment. A
mail carrier who could only walk or ride
would be of no earthly account delivering
mail in the country during bad weather.
Why, there are millions and millions
maybe more than half as many as that, of
places in the country, in this greatest and
most progressive and prosperous land in all
the universe, where people never dream Of
going to the corners grocer during wet
weather of long continuance. Men have
pined away and died longing for the health
full excitement of game Of checkers with
81 Bentley, and couldn't get down to the
store, four miles, or rather, four mild, away,
to have the debauch The road to perdition
is a bad one, as ii is often deseribed-I
never travelled it myself, although have
been told they have.the best pavements in
the world-if it is in the world-when YOU
get there-but if really can't be much
awfuller than the average country road in
America during the fall rains and the spring
thaws.
Why, it isn't so bad, not nearly; can't be,
or else nobody would ever travel it. They
wouldn't, just because about nine-tenths Of
the year they just couldn't. Daily mail
delivery in the country! Why, it's the
tablished fact that the people in the coun-
try can't get to the postoffice days at time,
how is the postofice going to get out to the
farm?"
One good thing might come of this idea,
however; the Government might establish
the rural delivery where there are roads
that are passable nine months OF the year.
Then would the rural supervisor get into
some new method of roadmaking, other
than the time-honored custom of dumping
fresh loads of new mud into old mudholes to
fill them up And another good thing for
the Congressman would grow out of it. We
have dredged and damned all the creeks
and dry runs in the country, and are at
loss to know what can be devised to take
the place of the good old river and harbor
improvement grab. Here we have it: Gov
ernment appropriations for mail roads
Under the old grab some localities were
forced to go to the expense of a steam
pump, and in some very destitute towns
they had to haul water LII barrels in order
to make creek big enough to get slack
water appropriation on; there was no end
of hard work and both ends of much harder
lying In order to secure an appropriation
for slack water improvement. But every
county, every township in the land, has
road, or a least trail through the dust and
bottonless mud that passes under that name
and is entered on the record as q road
Oh. countrymen what know Opportunity |
with big o, and . surplus KNOCKS at our
doorsl In the language of the gentleman
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
'Well. I never see de likel'

well. never see de ikeP'
"Didn't you do it?''
"Who, me? C1ah to goodness it's de FUSE
time I've sot eyes on 'em, Miss Polly. OATS
Dan1 Dat ole moke is Iosin' his mine"
But it wasn't Dan'l, for he was called, and
denied it.
"Dey amt no way to 'splain dat wen hits
one er desc yer common currences, q body
kin reckon maybe de cat"
'Ohi' and a shudder shook Lady Ross
more to her foundations, 81 seeit all Keep
away from them-they're his"
"His, m'lady?"
"Yes-your young .Marse Sellers from
England that's burnt up"
She was alone with the ashes-alone be-
fore she could take half breath. Then
she went after Mulberry Sellers, purposing
to make short work with his programme,
whatever it might be; 'for," said she,
"when his sentimentals are up, he's numb
skull, and there's no knowing what ex-
travagance he'll contrive, if you let him
alone" She found him. He had found the
flag, and was bringing it. Wien she heard
that his idea was to have the remains '.lis
in state, and invite the Government and
the public, :" she broke it up. She said:
''Your intentions are all right; they al
ways are. You want to do honor to the re-
mains, and surely. nobody can find any
fault with that, for he was your kin; but
you are going the wrong way about it, and
you will see it yourself if you stop and
think. You can't file around a basket Of
ashes trying to look sorry for it, and make
sight that is really solemn, because the
solemner it is, the more it isn't-anybody
can see that It would be so with one &
ket; it would be three times so with three.
Well, it stands to reason that if il wouldn't
be solemn with one mourner, it wouldn't
with proeession-and there would be 600
people here. don't know but it would be
pretty near ridiculous; think it would.
No, Mulberry, they can't lie in state; it
would be a mistake. Give that up and
think of something else
So he gave it up; and not reluctantly,
when he had thought it over and realized
how right her instinct was. He concluded
to merely sit up with the remains-just him
self and Hawkins Even this seemed a
doubtful attention to his wife, but she Of
tered no objection, for it was plain that he
had quite honest and simple-hearted de-
sire to do the friendly and honorable thing
BY these forlorn poor relics which could
command no hospitality in this far-off land
of strangers but his. He draped the fit
about the baskets, put some Grape on q
door knob and said with satisfaction:
'@There-he is as comfortable now asv
can make him in the circumstances E
cept-yes, we must strain a point there
one must do as one would wish to be d
by-he must have 1t.
"Have what, dear7"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

must have sunk down to destruction;. and
at wide distance from this spot they
showed him where the young man muss
have gone down in case he was sufocated in
his room; and they showed him still 8 third
place, quite remote, where he might pos
sibly have found his death if perchance he
tried to escape by the side exist toward ths
rear The old Colonel brushed away tear
and said to Hawkins:
Gas it turns out, there was something
prophetic in my fears. Yes, it's matter Of
ashes. Will You kindly step to q grocery
and fetch a couple more baskets?" !
Reverently they got a basket Of ashes
from each Of those now hallowed spots and
carried them home to consult as to the best
manner of forwarding them to England,
and also to give them an opportunity to 'lis
in state"-a mark of respect which tha
Colonel deemed obligatory, considering the
high rank of the deceased.
They set the baskets on the table in what
was formerly the library, drawing-room and
workshop-now the hall of audience-and
went upstairs to the lumber room to see il
they could find the British flag to use as a
part of the outfit proper to the lying in
state. A moment later Lady Rossmors
came in from the street and caught sight Of
the baskets just as old jimmy crossed her
field of vision. She quite lost her patience,
and said:
'Well, what will you do next? What in
the world possessed you to clutter up the
parlor table with these baskets of ashes?"
"Ashes?" And she came to look. She
put up her hands in pathetic astonisnment.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

Tennyson at his English fireside, and hsd
been charged by the poet laureate with q
special message of regard for Whitman.
'Tennyson has always been kind to me, :"
said Whitman. "His voice was one of the
first that came with the sign of encourage
ment-the superb old mani"
He must hear from Arnold in detail about
Tennyson's health. How did the heavy
burden of years rest upon him? Tennyson
could walk, could go out on the cliff, and
look out on the downs, and see the mists
that sheltered his England from continental
rapine. Well, that was blessing, and such
a comfort to hear it As for his own legs,
they were in such a bad way-paralysis
down on one side, and helplessness except
to sit and read and think and talk. 1t was
q comfort that this had been spared the fine
old fellow at Farringford.
Declined to Read for Them
Apart from certain hsziness of the eye,
and what seemed to be an idle fragment Of
eatarrh, Whitman seemed mentally and rela-
lively physically well-might readily have
been taken as younger than T3. He would
hear of no suggestion of an early leave
taking, or that our coming might inspire
WEAKNESS, or discomforts, but evidently
wanted to talk. His mind was clear, vivid,
and he talked in the quaint old way, recall
ing Washington days, and days in Forney's
rooms To the intimation that we might
like to carry away q memory of his read
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

her name is familiar, but they don't know
what made it familiar, because they don't
remember. First, she was at the bottom OF
the ladder and absolutely obscure-wages
>S13 week and find her own pads.
ssPads?"
eyes; things to fat up her spindles with
so as to be plump and attractive. Well,
she got burnt out In hotel and lost $50, 900
worth of diamonds
isShe? Where'd she get them?"
"Goodness knows-given to her, no
bald heads in the front row. All the
papers were full of it. She struck for
higher pay and got it. Well, she got burnt
out again and lost all her diamonds, and
it gave her such q lift that she went
starring"
sWeil, if hotel fires are all she's got to
depend on to keep up her name, it's. a
pretty precarious kind of q reputation I
should think. +"
'tNot with her. No, anything but that.
Because she's SO lucky; born lucky, I
reckon. Every time there's hotel fire,
she's in it. She's always there-and if she
can't be there herself, her diamonds are.
Now you can't make anything out of that
but Just sheer luck.
ssI never heard of such thing. She must
have lost quarts of diamonds"
"Quarts, she's lost bushels of them. It's
got SO that the hotels are superstitious
about her They won't let her in. They
think there will be fire; and besides, if
she's there, it cancels the insurance. She's
been waning little lately, but the fire will
set her up. She lost 600 worth last
night"
II think she's fool. If I had $50, 600
worth of diamonds wouldn't trust them in
hotel"
II wouldn't either; but you can't teach
an actress that This ones been burnt out
50 times. And yet if there's a hotel fire in
San Francisco tonight she's got to bleed
again, you mark my words. Perfect ass;
they say she's got diamonds in every hotel
in the country"
When they arrived at the scene of the
fire the poor old Earl took one glimpse at
the melancholy morgue and turned away
his face, overcome by the spectacle. lie
said:
SIT is too true Hawkins-recognition is
not one of the five could be
identified by it's nearest friend. You make
the selection, L can't bear it,"
''W hich one had / better
"Oh, take any of them. Pick out the
best one,"
However. the officers assured the Earl
for they knew him, every body in Washing
ton knew him-that the position in which
these bodies were found made it impossible
that any of them could be that of his noble
kineman. They pointed out the spot, where,
If the newspaper account was correct, he
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

one of them that knows enough to fetch out
her jewelry with her,"
"Tha.'s strange"
"Strange-it's the most unaccountable
thing in the world. Experience teaches
them nothing; they can't seem to learn any
thing except out of a book. In some cases.
there's manifestly fatality about 1t. For
instance, take what's-her-name, that plays
those sensational thunder-and-lightnin
parts. She's got a perfectly immense repu-
tation--draws like dog fght-and it all
came from getting burnt out in hotels"
"Why, how could that give her reputa-
tion as an actress2"
SIT didn't; it only made her name fanil-
iar. People want to see her play because
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
A Rash, But Not a Humor.

'T have had rash all over my body for
three days" said the visitor, sitting down,
as king might stand on his head.
"Ah, yes," replied the doctor, for it was
he speaking in CHEEKY, though fee-bill
tones, ''bad blood"
'Yes," replied the visitor, shifting his
position while panied expression fitted
across his countenance and all over his per-
son generally.
81 see," replied the Medicine Man,
something you have eaten?"
"No,'' responded the visitor with sigh,
something said. sent word to the new
editor of the Naa Grab that would horse
whip him on sight"
And the Medicine Man-more to hide the
pestilent expression that crossed his face
than anything else-turned aside to pre-
pare lotion, while the visitor, with many
ohsl and ahsl and some bys, slowly removed
his coat and vest and shirt, as one who IS
going to take bath.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

that nation which had never looked on his
face had no greater delight than to hear his
words. And the strength of his genius, as
Whitman remarked, singing with as much
freshness and truth as when he wrote 'sIn
Memoriam." One of the company was not
sure that his latest were not his best lines
A noble thought, said Whitman, as Sir
Edwin recited the latest lines of the Poet
Laureate:
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for mel
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When put out to sea.
But such tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the bound
less deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho from out our bourne of Time and
Place
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
No. the Time but the Gait.

"Your furniture, remarked Mr.. Newrich
Goodrich, with kindly meant effort to set
his old friend at his ease, "is all antique, I
see."
"Well, yes" replied Mr.. Hadbeen, "it
has that appearance, am aware; but it is
like some gray-haired men; it isn't so much
great old time as great old times that has
brought about the venerable aspect OF honor
able old age"
himself how very singular it was that
plural should make such difference.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

some small
courtesy toward the actors Florence and
Jefferson, and also'in pursuance Of prom
Use to Carpenter, the artist, that would
try and persuade the poet to sit for por-
trait As small side light on the ways Of
thermsn, Imay venture to give this notes
CAMDEN. Nj, Oct. q, 1891.
DearFriendJ r. Y.
Yours of the go received. Many thanks
for the invitation, and affectfonate regards
toyou and to jefferson and Florence. But
am too dilapidat ted and cannot think Of try
ing to come over.
II you see Frank Carpenter, tell him am
willing to sit for the picture which is all
can do, and I send him my best compli-
nents. Am sitting here now in great arm
chair with wolfskin spread over back for
warmth-cannot get across.the room (from
psrslysis), but fair spirits. just had
pleasant call from Jeanette Glider, N. z,
and some charming girls.
WALT WHITMAN.
Arnold admired Him Profoundly.
On the edge of the orange-tinted sheet
upon which the note was written were these
printed lines, as quaint scroll, motto or
emblazonment in social hersldry:
From the Boston EUening Transcript May
z, sl.-The Epictetus saying as given by
Walt Whitman in his own quite utterly d.
lapidated physical case is, "a little spark OF
soul dragging a great lummux Of corpse
body clumsily TO and fro around"
We inferred from the tone of. this note
that while Whitman was not going about,
q visit might not be unwelcome. Sir Ed
win had a profound admiration for the poet,
and was the bearer among other things of a
message from Tennyson. He could not, ne
taid, pass as it were through the very do
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
From Greenlands Icy Mountains.

Z "You look wan and worried and thin,
young man," said Father William. 81 am
afraid this climate is too strong for you.
You need change of ali"
"Alasl Father William" said the young
man, "that is Just what troubles me; my
father thought as you do, and he has made
a change of heir for me, and the day has
grown cold aud chill I fear me I will
shiver indeed as the winter nights grow
longer"
"Shiver?" replied Father William, with a
compassionate gleam in his eyes. 'Shiver"
he kindly repeated with increased empha-
sis, 'not long you won't, young man, you'll
freeze to death"
So saying, Father William, who had been
there, or in the proximate vicinity Of the
neighborhood himself, many time, turned
on his heel, which he kept affixed to the
eud of his leg for that purpose, and was
gone. ROBERT j. BURDETTE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
from calaveras, '.Mr. Speaker. move to
rake her."
Apopmatio Medicine.

AL this talk that comes from Indiana
about diet of dog flesh being cure for
consumption is mere rubbish, and very poor
rubbish at that. Not that one has any OBJ
lection to sausage on the hoof, but it is
well known that consumption has been the
scourge of the Indians for years. And dog
is not merely the red mans Thanksgiving
turkey, and pate de foie gras, but his daily
bread. Also, as Mr. Travers might say, his
pup-pudding.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
CoRNERING THE PLATINUM.
The Effort of a Syndicate That Bought the
Product of Russia.


The workings at the Nisjne-T -Tagilsk plati-
mum district in Russia, are let out by a
Government concession to Prince Demidoff
Outside miners are permitted to dig on
their own account, but they are obliged
under penalty to sell what they get to
the proprietary concern. Two years ago a
great syndicate bought up the entire prod1ct
Of these mines for some time ahead, and set
out to purchase all the scrap platinum ex-
listing in the world. But there proved to be
more of the latter than had been counted
upon, and SO it was found impossible to con-
troll the market. Consequently, after going
up from SO to SIS an ounce, platinum has
now sunk to S11 an ounce.
This metallic substance has never been
found in the rocks where it originally ex
isted-in stu, as geologists say-except in
the copper mines OF Canada, where it was
discovered short time ago in very small
quantities and in an entirely new combina-
tion, being mixed with arsenic
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
BAD PROPERTY TO OWN.
"A St Louis Lady Has . Little strip That
She Cannot Get Rid OF.


w. c. Marshall, City Counselor, of st.
Louis, tells the following story: 1 had a
peculiar case some days ago. A lady came
to me to know what to do in relation to a
special tax assessment that had been made
against her property which she did not wish
to pay. She explained that the property in
question was a strip of ground IL inches
wide and 126 feet long, lying between an
alley and an improved lor The assessment
had been made for the improvement of the
alley. As the ground is valueless, owing to
its location, she was unwilling to pay taxes
upon it.
She wanted to sell it to the party owning
the adjoining lot, but he did not want to
buy, as in its present position il shielded
him from special taxes for alley improve
ment. She had also offered to donate it to
the city, but the city could not receive, as
there were unpaid tax bills against it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
CHAPTER TX.

HE Earl and Wash
ington started on the
sorrowful errand, talk
ing as they walked.
"And as usual ~
"What Colonel? 2"
"Seven of them in
that hotel. Actresses.
And all burnt out, of
course. 3"
"Any of them burnt
up?"
"Oh, no; they es-
capped; they always do;
It 4.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
DOSES OF HOT WATER.
Bob Burdette Recommends 1t For
Various Kinds of Troubles.
sUGGESTIONSFOR MR.. .WANAMAKER
A Few Stray Lines Dashed Off From the
Rumorists Typewriter.
EFFECTS OF SPEED. ON LONGEVITY
rwarrrEN FOR THE DISPATCH,

HERE are compare
lively few people
who know or at least
take advantage Of
the many medicinal
properties of hot
water. And yet 1t
is as useful in the
sick room, or to the
invalid who is able
%o M around and
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
Familiarity Begets Similarity.

''Why does new broom sweep clean?"
asked the Wise Man.
Because" replied the Howling idiot,
who had been in politics himself through
three administrations, ''it hasn't got used
to the dirt yet"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
SYNOPSIS OF PREVIOUS cHAPTERs.


andhis dwi
The
Then the comes
They Gady Lord
Berke burned. isjustsuit the gmansp spana
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24

BE last timeI
saw Whitman
wss on Novem-
Der 2, in COM
pany with Sir
Edwin Arnold
and NfsjorJ, B.
Pond, of New
York. Sir Ed
win hsdarrived
in nPhiladelphia'
to read in pub
lie from his
poems. I had
had a note from
Whitman as to
some small
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
AnJdea of the seayon.

Harper's Young People.l
OF course it's nice to know how to skate
After you've learned just how
But find that on my hands and knees
can make better progress now.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
WRITTEN FOR THE DISPATCH
BY MARK TWAIN,
Etc, Etc.

Author of "Innocents Abroad" "Tom Sawyer" "Huckt
Etc, Etc.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-24
A MESSAGE.FROM LORD.TENNYSeN,
And Much Pleasant Talk About other
Famous Mem of Letters
FAREWELL WITH A REvERENT KISS,

vK1rrENFon .rRrDrsrSrcH1
letter No. 2.
People's party paper. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1891-1898, 1892-07-15
Almost Ready to Point Him ont.

Stonewall Alliance, No. 1850, OF
Cobb county, adopted the following
resolutions at its last meeting:
Whereas, We, the Alhancemen,
frequently hear remarks not very
complimentary of ourselves or very
becoming IN those who make them
therefore
Resolved, That in the future, as in
the past, we will usually treat such
remarks with the silent contempt
they deserve. We do not obiect-in
fact we invite friendly criticisms and
honest discussions of our principles
We claim to be honest and truthful
men, and credit our neighbors and
opponents with being the same-all
striving for the same object, "the
greatest good for the greatest num-
bers." Then why should we abuse
and prosecute each other? Attack
our principles, meet us in fair and
open discussion, and show us if you
can where we are wrong and we will
thank you and endeavor to get right
But please do not so far forget your
self as a business man and citizen of
Acworth did when the news arrived
that our National President, Col. L.
L. Polk, was dangerously i'll; he said
that he hoped Colonel Polk would
die, added other names and other
wishes which we will not repeat.
We claim that such remarks are
mean, cowardly and contemplate,
and we feel much like the minister
did who was much annoyed by a
young gentleman engaged in CONVEX
satlon while he was preaching: FL
nally the preacher paused and said,
IF that young man with freckeled
face and red hair sitting against the
second post does not cease talking I
will be compelled to point him out
to the congregation" Yes, we feel
much inclined s'to point him out"
We pity bis ignorance Of his own
interest, and deplore the deep de-
pravity into which he has fallen. He
will henceforth be held in utter con
tempt by us and all good citizens.
But words are inadequate, and we
pass him with the remark that any
Allianceman can get his name and
other items by applying to any mem
Der of StOneWalI Alliance,
People's party paper. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1891-1898, 1892-07-15

A convention was held at Dab
lonega, Ga, July 5, by the Demo-
Gratis to elect delegates to the Gaines
vile and Atlanta conventions. The
attendance was slim, withno enthusi-
asm whatever. Not a single address
was made. Total present 81. Peo-
pies Party II, Republicans 6, non
residents 4, persons vetig for Re-
publican at the last election in prefer
ence to an ex Confederate soldier %,
being only IS all dye{-in- the wool
Democrats. w. B. T.