davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Joke on Senator Allen.

Senator Squire played scurvy trick
on Senator John B. Allen one time.
They were travelling from Washing
ton. It was night and the train stop
ped at a station in Missouri. where a
large, heavy woman entered the sleep
er looking for berth.
Squire poked his head out between
the curtains and seeing the ponderous
lady, said:
Madame, the berths are all taken.
but if you wish you can occupy the
one Just under me where my little boy
is sleeping"
This was satisfactory to the Missouri
amazon, who removed her shoes and
then swung round into the bunk. Just
about this time the disturbed occu-
pant attempted to rise to see what the
intrusion meant.
With one fell swoop of her palm she
clapped it squarely over the gentle
mans mouth, saying: There, little
boy, don't speak. Your father said 1
could sleep here"
Again the little boy'' attempted to
rise and this time he managed to say:
Madame. 1 want to tell you that
I'm no boy"
who are you, then?"
why, Pm Senator Allen from the
state of Washington, he exclaimed.
"Oh, Lord!" she yelled and sprung
up and dashed out of the car, exclaim
! ing, to the CONSERVATION of every one
but Squire: "Oh, Lord! what would
Hiram say if he knew?" = Spokane
| Spokesman.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Worshiping the Flag.

The viceroy, officers and soldiers of
the Chinese army, when they are
about to start on warlike expedition,
must worship their flag. The time
selected is about daybreak. 1t is
necessary that all the officers who are
to accompany the expedition should
not only witness the ceremony but take
a part in it. The same remark is true
of the soldiers who are to be sent away
or engage in the fight.
In the center of the arena is placed
a table having upon it two candles,
one censer and several cups of wine.
The candles are lighted at the proper
time. Some officer, kneeling down,
holds the large flag by means of its
staff near the table. The viceroy or
the officer who is to command the ex-
pedition, standing before the table and
the flag receives three sticks of lighted
incense from a professor of ceremony
which he reverently places in the CEN
ser arranged between the candles.
He now kneels on the ground and
bows his head down three times. Some
of the wine taken from the table is
handed to him while on his knees, which
he pours out on the ground. Then a
cup of wine is dashed upon the flag,
the professor of ceremony crying out:
''Unfurling the flag, victory is OBJ
tanned; the cavalry advancing, merit is
perfected"
The whole company of officers and
soldiers, who had previously knelt
down and bowed their heads in the
prescribed manner, now simultaneous
ly rise up with a shout, and commence
their march at once for the scene o.
the appointed rendezvous. -O0ertaac
= M09gtlEY.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Brought the Train In on Time.

When railway engineer grows OLD
or has had several narrow escapes he
frequently ''loses his nerve" as rail-
road men put it. He becomes too
cautious, and as a result generally
brings his train in late.
The engineer in question = never
mind his name or the road-had "lost
his nerve" He had passenger en-
gine and twice he had been told that II
he couldn't get his train through on
time he would have to begin hauling
freight. He was meek about 1t and
promised to do better.
s.I'll bring her in on time if there's
a house on the track" he said the last
time.
He came into the Office after his run
a day or two later, looked about the
room, glanced up at the ceiling. and
then asked:
',Seen any of it?"
'sOf what?" asked an official.
Goal" replied the engineer.
why, no. What"
Il guess it hasn't come down yet" he
said, quietly. Some one left coal
car on the main track"
land you-you-" began the of
fetal.
Il got in on time"
But the coal-carP How did you get
around-n
Il didn't get around. pulled her
wide open and came through. There's
about a half ton of it on the roof of
the rear coach, and was expecting to
find the rest of it here somewhere. And
sayr'
''Well?"
THE smokestack of the engine is
gone, there's no pilot left. and the cab
windows are broken. but, of course,
/ was acting under orders. And say
again!'
''Well, what is it?n
just put down on your books some
where that an engineer who hasn't lost
his nerve but is tired of keeping it re-
signed from the service of the road to-
day and is going to look for job on q
farm. p Chicago Tribune.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Some Missing Links.

She was a real old-fashioned moth
erly woman and she was eating a lunch
from a paper bag in the Pennsylvania
depot. She nodded and nodded, and
she fished up piece of mince pie and
said:
II want you to eat some of it, even
if you amt hungry. | made 1t my
Thanks. This does taste like old
times"
Cant git no such mince pie in New
York"
mo, indeed"
DO you notice the lack OF any
thing?"
II can't say that l do"
"Well, there was something left out
bv mistake. but I'll fix it in the next
batch"
Didn't you mix up the meat, suet,
apples, cider, nutmeg, cinnamon, cur
rants, raisins, cloves, allspice, salt, pep
per, mustard and sugar?n
II did"
After all was mixed didn't yor
heat it for fifteen minutes and stir witt
big spoon?"
"Of course"
And then put it in crock and Sc
it down cellar with plate over itP"
Wen, / don't see where you made
Il do. though. I forgot to squeez'
in the Juice of two lemons, and the
citron and brandy were left out entire
| Ivr'-M. OUGd.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
The Habit of Reading.

The habit of reading does not come,
Minerya:like. full grown. Like every
thing else we do for advantage. wheth-
er we are men or boys, it needs usual
ly to be cultivated, though many boys
naturally love to read. You don't
mind, l am certain. whiting with
your jack-knife for whole day if you
wish to make a tug-boat or you will
work vigorously to make kite. 1t is
all verv well to do this. but you see,
it requires a certain amount of work
to secure your triumph and joy with
these things. I am sure there never
was boy who would hesitate to do
this work when he thought what the
result of it was to be.
Abraham Lincoln. of whom you
have all heard, laid the foundation of
his greatness when he was a boy by
taking time to read He did not have
the great variety of good books and pa
pers that are to be had now; but he
most of them. As gas and kerosene
lamps were not in use in the time OF
his bovhood. and even candles were
not to be obtained by him. he was
clad to avail himself of a torch made
from pine kuOI, duu SIttIuS OF0L GhO
fireplace on a winter night in his home,
which was a rude cabin. l dare say he
enioved what he read better than any
thing he found to read in later life,
when all the modern books and facili-
ties were at his hand. l know this is
not a new story that l am telling you;
but it illustrates so well what l want
to say that l would be glad if you
could hear it over and over again SO
that YOU may never forget it.
1t supplies for all of US, in fact, a
very good lesson to remember. 1t
makes emphatic the truth that what
we get through difficulties we get
thoroughly and retain longest. YOU
will learn When you are older that in
to all your attainments and successes {
question enters which we call cost. In
other words. you have to give some
thing for them-time, toll, or money
At any rate, either you have given 1t
if YOU have obtained the object you de
sired, or some one else has given it fol
you. Do you remember the story o
the King who asked the great mathe
matician for some easy method where
by his boy, whom he inclined to favor
might be enabled to obtain a knowl
edge of mathematics? But he was tolt
''there is no royal road to geometry.
Neither is there to any desirable sue
cess. 1t would not have been favo
to the Kings son if there had been
and he had been allowed to travel it
P. r. Bar7au9lo, IN Harper'S Young Pe0
.I | a1To
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
HE WANTED A BABY SISTER.
SO Milton Got a Tip and Tried to Buy One
for Two Cents.

This is the true story of 6-year-old
who wants little baby sister. His
name is Milton. and he lives in the
suburbs of New York with his parents
and his brother Harry, who is two
years Younger than himself. But
Harry does not fill the yearning of his
his older brother for a sister.
Milton is serious little fellow, with
BIG blue eyes and blonde, curling hair,
and is very quaint in his ways and
speech.
One day he was at the house of a
neighbor playing with the neighbor's
little daughter, Addie. The mother
of Addie CHANGED by, and jocularly re
marked:
''Milton, wouldn't you like to have a
little sister like Addie?"
The boy looked up eagerly, and said,
Yes"
"Well, why don't you buy oneP"
queried Mrs. Jones. You can get
one for 2 cents. At least, that is what
paid for Addie when she was baby"
The boy never said a word, but was
soon engrossed in play again.
When he went home at lunch time
he asked his mother for 2 cents, and
was successful in getting them with
out divulging what he wanted the pen
MES for.
After lunch he went straight to the
residence of neighboring physician.
He opened the gate, walked sedately
up to the door and rang the bell.
''Is the doctor at homer" queried he
of the maid who answered the sum-
mons.
Not at present. Won't you come
IMP He'll be back in a little while"
answered she.
very well. will call later" And
he marched away.
In about an hour he returned. The
doctor was at home, and Milton was
ushered into the Office.
Presently the doctor came in, saw a
little boy sitting sedately on a large
chair, walked up to him and said:
"Well, my little man, what can do
for youP"
Milton slid off the chair, extended his
hand containing the precious 2 cents.
and answered:
Doctor. I'd like little baby sister" !"
The doctor glanced at the boy and
/ the cents alternately with an amused
smile, and remarked:
II have no little baby girl now. But
I have little negro baby boy. Would
he do?"
Quick as flash came the indignant
rejoinder:
mo. sir! I want little white sis
ter. When do you think you will have
one?"
II can not tell, my little fellow; but
when 1 do shall let you know. But
little white girls cost So, not 2 cents"
''Mrs. Jones told me that she bought
| her Addie for 2 cents"
THAT may be; but that was long
ago. They cost SIS now."
Downcast and crestfallen Milton
turned away, but he formed the reso-
luton to save his pennies toward the
required amount, to be ready when the
doctor might inform him that he had
one on hand.
And this is how his parents found
the matter out, for at dinner that eve
ming he was so full of his scheme and
so desirous to enlist their services in
the accumulation of the amount that
ne told them all.-N. Y. Mail and Er-
! press.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
WASN'T HOGS.
Story of an Old Negro Mantle Was Ou
of Beef.

An old colored man had brought out
a pail of water for my horse, and we
were talking about the weather and
the crops, when young negro about
eighteen years old broke out of the
woods on the other side of the road.
He was bare-headed, bare-footed and
had on torn shirt and a ragged pair
of dungarees. The minute the old man
saw him he called out:
"Boy! / like to know whut dis yere
fussin's all about!"
'What fussingP" replied the young
man.
''Doan' you ak me what fussing,
sab! l knows yo' boy! You is the
nigger who dun works fur Majah Gam
bie!7'
What if I does?"
What if yo' does? Why, sab, lie
gwine to tell Jedge Smith dat yo' has
bin chasin' one of his hogs!'
s'Shoo! Nebber did it!''
''Doan' lie to me. boy! Can't I dun
see yo' is all out of bref wild chasin'
dat hog? If de jedge doan't have yo'
in Jail befo' two days den I'm
'possumr'
Look a-yere, Uncle Ben,'' said the
Young man as he came across the road
"does yo' member dat time de jedge's
hogs dun got on de railroad track dowr
dar?'
''Of co.'s sah-of co'se does"
'.An' when de train cum along what
did dem hogs do? Didn't dey rur
right down de track?''
''Of co'se dey did"
'An' did dem kivered kyars cotcl
up to 'em? Didn't dey run two mile!
an den jump into de swamp"
Yes sab. dey did" a
"Wall, den, was yo' big huff fule tt
reckon I'd be fussin wild hogs dat coult
run faster n de bullgine? Reckon IL
got wings to fly wild? Does I look lik
a bird?'S
He went off up the road. turning t.
look back occasionally. and when h
had passed out of sight around benz
the old man shook his head in solemn
way and said to me:
II reckon I dun made a powerful
mistake wild dat niger. l said hogs
but Ize dead sure he was arter calf!
N. Y. World.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Christmas Hare-Hunt in the South.

We used to have hunts on Saturdays,
lust we boys, with perhaps black boy
or two of our particular cronies; but
the great hunt was lin the holidays
that is, about Christmas. Then all
the young darkies about the place were
free and ready for sport.
This Christmas hunt was an event.
1t was in the year 1856. and. Christ
mas day falling on the Sunday, Satur-
day was given as the first event of the
HOLIDAYS. 1t had been a fine fall; the
cover was good, and the old hares
were plentiful. 1t had been deter
mined some time before Christmas
that we would have big hare-hunt on
that day, and the "boys"-that is. the
darkies-came to the house from the
quarters, prepared, and by the time
breakfast was over they were waiting
for us around the kitchen door. Break
fast was always late about Christmas
time; perhaps the spareribs and sau-
sages and the jelly, dripping through
a blanket hung over the legs of an up
turned table, accounted for 1t; and on
this Christmas eve it was ten by the
tall clock in the corner of the dining
room before we were through. When
we came out. the merry darkies were
waiting for US around the kitchen door,
grinning and showing their shining
teeth, and laughing and shouting, and
calling the dogs. They were not al
lowed to have guns, but our guns,
long old single barrels handed down
for at least two generations, had been
carried out and cleaned. and they were
handing them around, inspecting and
aiming them with as much pride as If
they had been brand-new. There was
only one exception to this rule: Uncle
Limpy-Jack, so called because he had
one leg shorter than the other, was
allowed to have a gun. He was a sort
of professional hunter about the place.
No lord was ever prouder of a special
privilege handed down in his family
for generations.
The other fellows were armed with
stout sticks and made much noise.
Uncle Limpy-Jack was, as stated, the
only exception; he was grave as be-
came a man" who was a hunter by
business, and ''warn't arter no foolish
ness.n He allowed no one to touch hi
gun, which thus possessed specia
value. He carried his powder in
oourd and his shot in an old rag.
The pack of dogs I have described
fully recruited, were hanging around
growing and snarling, sneaking int
the kitchen and being kicked out b,
Aunt Betty and her corps of vari
colored assistants, largely augmented
at the approach of Christmas with it
cheer. The yelping of the mongre
pack, the shouts and whoops of tn
boys, and the laughter of the maids O.
men about the kitchen and backyard
all in their best clothes and in hig
spirits. were exhilarating, and wit
whoops and much ''hollering, W
climbed the yard fence, and disdain
ing road, of course, set oGt dow
the hill across the field, taking lon
strides, each one Dragging loudly
what he would do.-IhoaaaS NetSo
Page, IN st. Nicholas.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
AS Georgie Understood 1t.

A lady went not long since to call
upon neighbor in the country and
found the five-year-old son of the house
playing upon the lawn.
.How do you do, Georgia, she said.
us your mamma at homer"
mo, Mrs. Gray" he answered with
the most approved politeness.
Il am sorry for that" the caller said.
''Will she he gone long"
Il don't know" the little fellow an
swered doubtfully. ''She's gone to a
Christian and Devil meeting"
Gone to whatPn the lady exclaimed
in astonishment.
TO Christian and Devil meeting
in the vestry," was the reply
And it suddenly flashed across the
callers remembrance that for thai
afternoon had been appointed at the
Church a meeting of the Christian En-
deayor. Boston Courier.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
An Absurd Story squelched.

While ex-President Hayes was il
Atlanta he told a reporter that he had
never been fancier of chickens and
had never raised one in his life. His
sons had some game bantams at their
country home, but General Hayes HIM
self has never taken any interest in
them. THE story of the chickens was
started by my friends as a joke, said
the ex-President. They began it for
the fun of it, and others who were not
friendly to me. wishing perhaps to be-
little me in the eyes of the public,
pushed the fake for all it was worth"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
French War Vessel.

The most important ship of the
French navy, the Bennus. has been
launched after two years and half of
building, at cost of %. 900, 900 francs.
Her heaviest guns. of which there are
three. are of ffty-eight tons. These
are mounted on barbette. but with a
roof to protect them from small
ordnance, and there is also a great
number of small arms.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
A Good Lon German Word.

Here is a LONG word for beginners.
which the dear l. tie Schoolma'am has
found in recent issue of German
newspaper:
Observation-Disclosures
schaftsunterstuIzungsverein.
1t is supposed 10 mean Benefit As
sociation of Nea 9litan Bagpipe Play
ers. "-jSt. Nickos..S. -
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03

1t costs so much to support the 20O,-
900 priests in Tibet, which has only
1000, 600 Inhabitants, that man can
not ordinarily afford the luxury of a
wife all to himself, and so polyandry
is general. Anyone who is able. how
ever, may keep several wives.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03

Carmen SYLVIA" the Queen of Rou.
mania, has written novel with a
Welsh theme.
The man who loves his neighbor as
himself never keeps bulldog. Ram's
Horn.
Musical notes, as now used, were
invented in 1880,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
Sufferers.

Two sorts of men are sufferers on this earth;
Toward virtue, or toward vice, each runs 70
goal
Sin laughs. but anguish mocks and dooms its
mirth.
For evil breeds more pain to damn the soul
Than would suffice to win it Heavens best
worth
Marvin Hill Dana in N Y Sun.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-02-03
A Paradox.

If white be "all the colors combined,
And black their ''absence" be,
Then aren't the whites the colored folks,
The blacks from color freeT
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-08-11

frsnttIn
Mr.. and Mrs. +. J. Swan and heir
three sons were in town calling upon
friends a., wr.k
Ms Mary : Taft. Of Jamelct Plain,
N,~-.. api Mis- g rtrnie Watkins. II
N,~'u' y II nnv moving 3 brief series
'ir-'ir- ~f vs. ','l.i-bpro. sgreeah'Y
az I'D i'"ir t'' here with cal
Friday
NJ. Curtis r. ,I,y and Mr.. Fred Don
nell, VII" sre Employed at S"Inrsville. have
moved their families there for few
weeks.
Misses Geneva Fernsld, Geurvieve W"St
an L0ttie Haley "" crowdtng all ne fun
possible into a weeks Sojnurn at Water :
meet cottage. Hancock Point
Mrs. VI F Blsi~drll son and friends
leave for The rant TUESDAY,
Mrs Iam,- / NscomNrr ~ Ellsworth.
visited relatives here last week
Mr. W. II rtrd', daughter. Mrs Nick
cr-on ant Children, WITH other family
frirui~ much erjpy hom- picnic last
"Wednesday
Key $ : Gross snh family leave this
week T. a,tant e4mpmrrtinE
The grand oi,+niug trnf A. Wymin PAIN
Thursday AMI Friday. drrw quite nam
Der Of our citizens thjthrr, 90 cnur~.
Mr. Nelson wa> "tho Observed ~ al no
servers" and no Ia 20 was his fam ~
horse adding many admirers 10 an already
numherc-s hu>'
The Republican convention which wa.
csllrH Tor this and adjoining towns
{ convened here a., Saturday afternoon
- Il D..
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-08-11

Nancy ". stevens, who passed from this life
to the life beyond, Aug. 1, 'sa. was the daughter
OF Robert Ray, and born Feb !, 1873 Al
the age OF nineteen she married Jacob Stevens
of Ellsworth. The mother 81 eleven children,
eight OF whom survive her. her life was largely
devoted to her family, and OF her 1t can be truly
said Her children arise and call her blessed ;
her husband also, and He praiseth her"
She was converted in early life. and ever
sought to do her whole duty to all with whom
she cane in contact.
As friend and neighhor she ever kind
and Thoughtful, and he viii be mourned not only
In her home and by near relatives. but by all who
knew her.
true wife, faithful mother since re friend,
no greater eulogy can be pronounced upon her,
than is contained in the words Of Christ, "She
has done what she could"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-08-11
state News.

An unsuccessful attempt was made
Wednesday night to burn the Joseph
Hobson house. on Main street, Saco,
recently purchased by l.. c. Muuroe. The
incendiary set fire to lot of shaving and
refuse wood in the house. but owing to
the dsmpness Of the kindiiugs the blaze
went out.
Herman Davis. who has been reported
as hiring a team of ID. B. Norton OF Bel
fast for short drive, and falling to return
the same. was traced to Augusta, where
the team was discovered iu livery stable.
Davis whereabouts are unknown.
Owing to rain Wednesday the races at
Fairfield were put ahead a day.
During drunken row In saloon
at Belfast Capt. Elbridge Rolesou had his
hip broken aud sustained other injuries
his recovery being doubtful. No arrests
| were made.
William Thomas WAS killed Thursday
afternoon a. Rpckport by taking hold OF
the wire of the Republican flag, which had
dropped over the trolIy wire. Several told
| him not to touch 1t. but being partially
| deranged, he did not heed them. His age
| was 40 years and he was single.
Mrs Hannah Aver Clifford, widow OF
| the late Justice Gill Ird died at the resi-
| deucr If her sun. Hon. William H. Cliff
| ford. at Cape Elizabeth Thursday evening
! She was 81 years old. Her funeral took
| place at her sons Portland residenc.
| Saturday.
Some months ago, Mr., Sam Lunt, tn
well known conductor of the Boston i
Maine, eastern division. lost q valuable
gold watch aud chain at the Preble House
Portland. which had been presented hin
by travelling friends. Last Saturday. as h.
was about 10 take his train at Boston h.
! was called into the station and prnseute,
| In behalf Of friends, through Genera
Manager Sanhorn, an elegant gold waite
and chain valued at $3.50 suitably II
scribed. TO Nil the place Of the one stolen
Mr.. l.uut was taken completely bv surprise