The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-02-17

Dispenser with dignity -Geats, thish
here amt no centipede. st
Ernest Maltravers Ito humble-Iook-
ling clown)-Why is 1t, my friend, that
clowns have such stupid faces? Are
they required 10 look stupid? Clown
Certainly; If | had your face my
salary would be doubled at once.
A disappointed lover was asked how
he had chanced to lose the object Of
his affections. "Alas n he replied, 81
iattered her until she grew too proud
to speak to ME.
A San Francisco heiress on starting
to Europe for a trip made out tele-
graphic cipher, a copy Of which her
father kept Last week the millionaire
got a dispatch from her consisting Of
but one word laugh. He smiled
pleasantly. and on going home to con-
suit the cipher found this: Laugh
send me $1,000" Then he didn't
laugh.
A Forcible Illustration: allow do
you get rid Of tiresome visitors ?" ask
ed Borus as he looked around his
friends luxurious office. "When they
stay too long" replied the merchant,
my Office boy, a bright lad who knows
just when to interfere, reports that |
am wanted in the countingroom on
important business" "Ahl a capital
idea" said Borus laughing. At that
moment the boy opened the door and
said: Gentleman in the counting
room, sir, wants 10 see you 1T once on
important business"
Didn't Want Company: Mrs. Purse
strings-What are your charges, doc
tor? DR.. Gougem Five dollars a vis-
| i, madam. Mrs. P.-Well, we don I
want you to come ON q visit, but just
to stay ten or fifteen minutes.-Puck.
Delinquent subscriber I don't like
your paper as we'll as used TO. II
seems 10 me very dry nowadays. Infu.
rated Editor Gn a tone Of biting sar-
casm)-I don't understand how you
can call il dry. There is considerable
due on your copy.
A newsboy inviting the lady Of his
heart to drink with him at q Sun
day picnic, asked, "Well, Lizzie, what'Il
you have% "0h, | guess I'll have
some champagne, said Lizzie. 'Guess
again." replied the newsbOy glOOlnily.
A burglar broke into New Jersey
pantry, and before beginning opera
tons, ate a slice from one OF the mince
pies. In the morning he was found
lying on the floor stupid and helpless,
and fell an easy prey to the officers.
Sappy-I suppose you don't speak
to the common herd now, Miss Lindell.
Miss L. (who has just inherited $780,
OOO)-Mhy, certainly, Mr.. Sappy, how
do you doY
Gen. Hardee, strict disc;pIinarian,
was noted for his severe repression of
struggling. One day espying a lank
confederate perched comfortably on a
raIl fence, Gen. Hardee checked his
horse and asked with many profane ex-
pletives, "You Internal straggler, what
are you doing here 2" 'Pm restin',D
was the sullen reply. "Well, who in
the devil are you? Where is your
regmentw 'Pm chaplain of the
Eleventh Arkansas Volunteers" re-
turned the tattered rebel with dignity.
who the HI are you Z"
After the Service: High Church
man TO Methodist friend )-Ah, glad
to see you at our service Did you not
enjoy that anthem? Methodist Friend
-Ican't say that | did. High-Church-
man : Indeed? That is one not only
Of the grandest but Of the most ancient
anthems extant. 1t is believed TO have
been sung by King David. Methodist
Friend-If that is what David sang to
Saul, j can understand why Saul threw
bis jaYelin at hm.
Uncle Hiram (who belonged to q
singing class In his youth)-I never
heard a woman play like that woman
we heard at the Charity concert in
Boston last spring. Awful T Ny ears
acha when i think 0f1k.r 4Ttv Nenhpvv