The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-07
She Uerala and Ne'gs,
oxE or SAN JONES LECTURES.

ssssaE gS'sssssas sassss ees@aSa'~
ONE eE SAN JONES LECTURES.
gumor and Wisdom on the Subject Of
Money and Manhood.
i used to sing s.I want to be an angel.
and with the angels stand.' Now I
have Begun TO pray over the matter,
and say sI want to be man-and
with the ladies stand.n
metz grand man once. The longer
( stood with him thesmager I got, and
the bigger he got. After while I had
70 get up and go to have anything to
go with.
have met some little fellows whose
eyes were SO close together that they
could gee through 3 keyhole with both
atonce.
I do not believe in evolution, OF
course dent. I do not believe we
spraBg from monkeys. But when ]
seea great many people I believe they
are hesded that way and that they will
get there if they don't stop.
i have great deal more respect for
! Nancy Hanks than have for Sullivan
and Csrbett. Nancy is a daisy. She
can 60 in 2:40. God made her to go.
But two old flop cared mules can stand
up in a lot and do as much as Sullivan
and Corbett, knocking the filing out
of one another.
/ never go to horse races-not because
: T do not like to see them, but because
OF the small, scrubby set that is always
there.
Some rich men say wien you go to
them for money for good cause:
AWAIT until l. get fxedw Fixed!
Fixeds Fixed when you are dead; fixed
for the fire; fixed into backlog for the
devils's sitting room!
.'Country facts' are seriptural ami
NAL, and you need net be afraid of it.
There was an old farmer in North
Georgia who said one day: am going
TO save; I am going to lay up; I am not
going TO be poor when I get old and
can't work. And he did save $50, 900.
One day neighbor went TO see him
ap>, said: Brother, how are you off
for neat?" / have got enough in my
snnokehouse for this year, and until
hog killing next year." he said, land
enough hogs to kill then, and enough
pigs 70 kill the next year, but what l
viii do after that the Lord only
knows.
Then be left the old fellow starving
on three years rations.
A dude is kind of wart on the
divil,s nose.
You may SOW corn and reap corn,
but SOW dudes and dudines and you
will reap one-half a thimble full of calf
foot jelly.
Maj. Black says, "1noney per capita,
but its '.per pocketa."
am afraid that we preachers are at
fected by money. Ofoourse We don't
work for money, bnt you stop our sala-
ries, and we will quit. All, ha!
T IbelieVe ia decision. You see these
fellows who think they will and think
they won't, but rather think they
Ron't-10 cents dozen like eggs in
warm weather, and for thesame reason.
There was darkey who had mule,
and he said he had to hitch him by
tying tim to tree by his tail to keep
him from going through his collar.
You get after great many people
and they lay it all on Adam. Poor old
Adam!
Adam is too far of. You put TIVE
drops Of water in the Atlantic ocean,
and the poison gets mighty thin when
it gets to the other side. Adam is too
Tar. tits our OWE devilment that is
kicking up thunder.
When the devil got Jobs wife on his
side he got a trump card.
a mule kicked negro on the head,
and couldn't put his foot down.
I have got government job keeping
Sam Jones straight.
There are lot of people who like to
say other people are soft-headed when
they are doing right. They got the
impression from their own. heads.
I 20 into some churches where the
preacher looks like some big monu-
ment and the people look like head
stones and go down among them and
I say 'Sam Jones, you are among the
dead"
Men and money are two antagonistic
forces in this country.
Men and money are each striving
for the mastery with the odds largely
in favor of money.
There Is nothing sublimer than man.
There is nothing more hurtful, more
dwindling to manhood than the mis-
use Of money.
David said to Solomon his son, "Be
thou strong and aequit thyself man.
Nine-tenths of the people Of the coun-
try are after money, and the other tenth
are after good time.
Iwould not give one grand man for
all the cotton that was ever raised in
theSouth. You can raise cotton with a
negro and a mule, but it is big job to
raise man in this country.