The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-03-01

Select your own immediate circle on
young lady friends-those whom you have
known during the last ten years-and you
will find, think, that few if any of the
fiirtishly inclined girls remained single.
while several of their prudent and well be
haved and more industrious sisters are
still clinging ungathered on the parental
| branch.
Not many years ago heard father can
ton his two lovely and accomplished
daughters against an intimacy with two
| of their girl friends. Those girls are be
coming so firtsh and gay" he said. that
I am sure your good names will suffer If
you are seen much in their company. Men
| are quick TO comment upon and misinter
! pref such frivolous actions rs | see those
! girls indulge in. and | do not want you to
| suffer from an unwise intimacy. | have
no doubt that they are innocent girls now
! but they will soon lose the reputation of
| innocence if they are not more prudent"
The daughters of the gentleman listened
to his counsel and ceased tovisit the young
| ladies who had been accused of being fiirts
| and not without cause. and yet, | regret
! to relate, the two fiirts are today wives Of
men who adore them, and who are the
most tender and devoted husbands, while
| the two prudent daughters of the discreet
gentleman have remained at home IN
| wooed and unwon.
Innumerable cases of a similar kind
have come under my immediate observa
ton.
| always feel exasperated with men
when | see them choosing such girls for
wives, while the prudent and discreet ones
are passed By, exasperated not because OF
their choice so much as because of their
praise for the type they neglect and their
censure for the type they select 1t Is a
curious problem
have tried TO solve it and render the
conduct of men consistent with their ever
repeated assertion of aversion to the very
girls they seem most ready to marry
1t seems to me that have arrived at the
explanation of the problem.
Men themselves do not know why they
are attracted to and won by these girls
despite their better Judgment; but l think
| can explain the matter to them.
Stronger and deeper than mans cult
waited and acquired taste for the domestic
virtues of civilized life is his Unborn ad
miration for what they usually term go"
in a woman.
| think | have seen more mems eyes
sparkle when they described a woman as
full of go" than have ever seen from
any other cause.
A man will be very calm and matter of
fact when he tells you how very beautiful
some woman is; he will be phlegmatic and
prosaic when he tells you of some highly
accomplished and charming woman" be
knows. Not a ripple will disturb the
repose Of his face when he speaks of some
good, domestic, virtuous girls of his ac
quaintance; but when he says. by Jovei
she's full of gol" his calm becomes exhil-
aration, his eye glows, his voice thrills.
l have heard them say it scores of times
and it is always with the same intense de-
light and appreciation.
l heard it said once of girl on a country
farm; the hired man fell ill just in the har-
vest season, and she took his seat on the
great reaper and drove four horses until
the overripe wheat was cut and bound
heard it said of a young girl who had been
reared in luxury and idleness, and whose
father died suddenly and left the family
with nothing but debts; in less than six
months she had canvassed all the adjoin-
ing towns and had obtained large paying
class in music. | heard IL said of the wife
of a famous politician, whose energy and
tact and brilliancy won him half his sue
cess; and | heard it said of society girl
who was not beautiful or rich, but who be-
came a belle because she was the best
dancer rider, swimmer and talker in her
set.
Now it is the same elemental sort OF
conclusive hidden quality of character
that actuated these women to do what
they did, which causes many girls to be-
come flirts. Girls devoid of this element
do not understand why they are not as at
tractive to men as some less beautiful and
less prudent friend may be, and think the
male sex very unappreciative.
They hear men severely criticise the girl
whose misdirected go" has led her into
firtatious follies with his sex, yet he Is at
tracted, in spite of himself, by the Quality
which actuated her foilies, and he ends By
marrying her.
Il do not see that it pays to be we'll be
haved and prudent" said a very beautiful.
and modest girl to me recently The men
treat you with respect, but they pay all
their attention TO and finally marry the
girls who fiirt with them.
/ could not deny the truth Of her state
ments, yet felt sorry to admit it But no
modest and discreet girl need envy the
happiness of fiirt.
If she marries a man she loves, every In
discreet act and every familiar attention
she has received from other men during
her flirting days will be like drops of gall
in her cup of sweets And If she does not
love the man she marries surely she Is not
to be envied, for she is very likely TO con
bar Ai,-ra aff
The best advice can give to the modest
and good girls is to cultivate go" Ex
trem6ly discreet and domestic girls who
never feel any inclination to kick over the
traces of conventi0nality are worthy and
excellent members of society, but they /
seldom possess much go" This quality |
needs to be born in a person. like most |
other qualities, If we would achieve great |
results, yet it can be cultivated
Shake yourself up, overcome your self /
your Incidence and your |
fears of public comment! Try to be ami /
mated, try to be ambitious, tactful, anus
ing and thoughtful of others.
Don't get into conventional ruts and act |
ike every other girl you know Dare TO |
be yourself. for every one has an iudividu l
atty peculiarly her own. But in your ef /
forts TO be attractive don't attempt TO be 4
iilrtlsh when II * not your nature 70 be 50 /
because you see that men make love 70 /
fIrts even while despising them. II you /
do you will surely bring rldicule and dis
grace upon yourself and win no mans re-
gard
1t Is not the flirting which draws the /
ia the element | have referred to /
which, when miSdirected. frequently causes
3 girl TO hirt. that attracts them. even 10
spite OF their prejudiees
A man would prefer girl who possessed /
go and who did not become flrt II 4
you, devoid OF this element degenerate
INTO a flirt, you will be like some literary 4