The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1892-12-31
THE J0KER'S BUDGET
TESTS AND YARNS BY FuNNv
MEN OF THE PRESS
-Soh S'at!stics-She Knew Better
In the surfs-By Easy Stages.
Etc, Etc.
PRISON STATISTICS.

| SlC., Etc.
PRISON STATISTICS.
caId the superintendent Of the Texa
ae:iI'entlary, at Huntville, to a newI,
arrived delegate: "You have the privii
~ oi working at any trade you pre-
I'D I'd like to keep on drivin' cattle t.
Another gentleman in the same insti
Siftings. i'Aa
! SIZE KNEW BETTER.
Mrs. Jaysmith to grocer,-Ten nound.
of sugar. 0n pounus
"Focer las customer walks out)-I beo
your pardon, but you didn't pay for thai
sugar -'' '-i"'
Mrs. Jaysmith-Ofc course not Sucsr,s
lree now. | read the papers, | do, and
you cant fool me. Epoch.
IN THE sURFs.
She loves to daily with the surf
mat boils upon the sandy beach,
ana careless mid the breakers fosm.
SWlms gayly out beyond nv reach.
Ana |, poor serf of her caprice.
Would vainly kiss her dimpled hand
But, poorer than the sounding sea.
Alas l haven't got the sand.
New York Herald.
BY EASY STAGES.
Tom-IIave you asked Bessie yetl
Jack-Yes.
Tom-What did she saw
Jack-T.-at she would take vanilla.
THEIR CONSOLATION.
Thank heaven, the folks who cannot
wing
Their flight to cooling fountains
Can fan themselves aud meekly sing:
FROM Greenland's icy mountains"
-, ATLANTA Constitution.
TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE"
Hawkins-You were on the iurv in
the murder trial, weren't you? What
was the verdict?
LambsOn-Acquittal.
I'm spite Of such evidenced What ex-
cuse had you."
Insane"
what. All of you2"--Kate Fields
HIS SHINING VIRTUE.
u have got boy" said the proud
ather, who Is destined one day TO shine
'rllliantly In the pOlitica. armament"
shows an aptitude for statecraft.
Ices her,
mo, but he can't write letter. "-rSt.
Joseph News.
SHE WAS AWARE OF 1T. ,
oldbeau e;ectedl-Td have YOU
now, Miss Scadds, that I'm no clam.
Miss ScaddS-I know that, Mr.. Old
eau. CLANS do not live to be 60 years
ld.-[Epoch.
GOOD OPINION OF HIMSELF.
Snodgrass after Snively finishes a fish
'oryl-Well, l like liar
Snively-Iou egotist!
TOO GOOD To ZEE TRUE. .
Miss Amy-Shall l play Beethoven's :.
Adieu to the Pianol"
Young Doiley leagerly)-Do you really
can it3-[Argosy.
HIS GREAT SORROW.
"PoOr man" exclaimed the impulsive. r,
arm-hearted lady, "you look as if YOU b
Id known some SORROW"
"You are right, num-" answered the d
Uttered tramp, gratefully accepting the H.
and bowl of fresh milk, 81
we"
MAY / ask what it is2" CT
Eyes, num-" he said. with his mouth m
II. 81 lost both parents when was ly
thin but small boy"
"llad you no friendsl"
'les, mum. | had an uncle. lived
tn him until was good sized chunk m
a boy, and then he died. st,
And had you no other friends?" ca
'Only an aunt. mum. went to live
tn her next. was very happy at nv 20
nt's, till-till--"
Don't speak of it, my poor man, if clc
awakens painful memories"
1T breaks me all up, mum: but there's Blu
rse to come. My aunt-she-" it!
'Died?"
no. She was a widow, nv aunt was.
i know, and she set up and married
lin. Married mean, stingy, ornery I'm
s Of man. He drove me out OF the
lse before he had been there three sist
eks" Col
And then"
4 Al