The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1892-08-17
A BACHELORS PERIL,

You could have picked him out in a null
titude; II he had been labeled, like an an
tediluvian fossil or a dried specimen of en-
tomology, there couldn't have been more
certainty In the matter.
He WINS dapper, thin little man, some
thing under five feet In height, with a
glossy black wig, closely trimmed side
whiskers and costume so daintily neat that
he reminded you Of a shining black cati
He took a Turkish bath In the morning
and Russian bath in the evening; he
came home to dinner at 10 precisely, and
went to bed at II at night, with his boots
standing at the foot of his bed and his
stockings at the head. and his wig elevated
on his gas fixture, and every chair in the
room standing at right angles with the
wall.
1t was high noon on sparkling, windy
March day when Major Teller came home
to the antique down town boarding house
where he had vegetated for the last twenty
years and went to his own room to brush
his wig for the midday meal. Opening
the door he stumbled over an obstacle in
the way.
"Oh, beg your pardon, I'm sure" said
the major, turning very red and recover
ing his footing with difficulty
1t was Miss Patience Pettigrew on her
hands and knees cleaning of the oilcloth
at the door.
Now the major was afraid of Patience
afraid Of her as the plump lamb fears the
gaunt wolf, or the unotfending robin the
dire serpent. Miss Patience was tall and
lean and sallow, but she curled her hair
and wore an artificial rose over her left
ear, and sang little whistling tunes to a
little spindle legged piano, and firmly be-
lieved that if she only waited little
longer she would get married to somebodyl
And because the major sat opposite her at
the table-Miss Patience helped her wild
owed sister keep house" and served out
the gravy and sauces-and regarded her
artificial rose and bears grease curl with
a sort of fearful fascination, Miss Patience
somehow opiued that she should one day,
Cupid willing, become Mrs. Major Tellerl
Its OF no consequence, major" said
Miss Patience, recovering her piece of soap,
which had skirmished out to the middle
OF the carpet. II hope your fire isn't outi'
THANK you, ma'am; it is very good"
Il do wonder major" said Miss Pa
thence, with premonitory giggle, "why
you never got married."
The major retired precipitately behind
the coal scuttle and made no reply.
You'd be so much more comfortable,
you know" added Miss Patience, wiring
ing out her woolen cloth and looking SO
lovingly on the major that he retreated
still farther into his wardrobe, where,
among the swinging ef1igies of coats and
trousers, he felt comparatively safe.
Miss Patience hesitated moment, and
in that moment the major felt all the an
ticipatory agonies of being pursued, cap
tured, brought forth and possibly married
before he coald get breath to demonstrated
But she finally took up her pail and van
ished
Dear me, that was a very narrow es-
cape" thought our hero, emerging from
his sanctuary. "Some day she will be too
much for me. Perhaps I'd better change
my boarding place. Yes-that will be the
only safety. suppose couldn't very we'll
have her sworn over to keep the peace,
and really there's no saying what de-
termined woman Of fifty might not do.
I'll look out for a new place tomorrow"
Dear me, major, you have no appe-
tite," said Miss Patience sweetly at tho
dinner table,
mo, ma'am," said the major.
Try to eat little-just to please me,
major"
mo thank you, ma'amW
Don't you know, major, people will say
you are in love il you don't eat more2''
smiled the antiquated spinster.
This was more than our hero could en-
dure; he rose up and left Miss Pettigrew
triumphant victor of the wordy field.
II won't go back to that house il I can
help it, thought Major Teller, brushing
the cold dew away from his forehead with
a crimson silk pocket handkerchief. ''IIer
"a aa1sint 7 L, Al.
And the major in his innermost mind
reviewed the catechism and hymns he bad
learned as child, trying to think if there
was not some invocation particularly suit
ed to an elderly gentleman in great peril
and perplexity. But he could not remem-
Der anything appropriate to his particular
case
Its twenty years since I've been in the
inside of n church" thought the penitent
old offender 81 wish l had gone little
more regularly. | wonder If it's too late
in life to reform"
For the major, poor old gentleman, had
a vague idea that "religionu would be
sort of safeguard against the wiles Of his
fair enemy. Deliverance from Miss Pa
tience Pettigrew must be obtained on some
terms or other.
As Major Teller was frantically revoly
Ing these things in his mind he came to a
sudden and involuntary standstill. There
was crowd gathered in the street-a
stalled electric, or an arrested pickpocket,
Dr. some other nucleus around which gath
ers the rapidly increasing swarm of metro
politan loafers. Now of all things, Major
Teller most dreaded crowd, and he looked
sround neryously for some means of es-
,ape.
An old fashioned church, with open
ioors and some sort OF service going on in
'ide, caught the majors eye He made an
instantaneous dart for its huge gothic por-
ais, shielded by inner doors of green baize.
TITS good chance to think up some
hing solemn and appropriate, and that
'ort of thing, until the crowd gets by" he
'hought, settling himself in the corner of
,ne OF the softly cushioned pews to listen
20 the mild, droning voice of the old cler-
lyman.
The church was very wsrm, and the
light, softened by purple and golden and
crimson glass, was dim and the clergy
mans voice rather monotonous, and Major
Teller was unconsciously becoming rather
lrowsy when q plump old lady came in
md the sexton beckoned him from his
cot.
But the sermon was over, and people were
trcaming down the aisle, and the major
cit that he didn't care to prolong the
hing, and that he had done very lauda-
lie act in coming to church, and
Even while these ideas were passing IN
istinctly through his brain he was borne
oward the altar in an upward eddy of this
rowd and felt gaunt arm thrust through |
is.
Protect me- majorl Oh, save mep' whis-
cred Miss Patience Pettigrew. "I'm SO
.eared in crowd always'
The major stroye to withdraw his arm,
ut Miss Pettigrew would not let him.
hey were standing directly in front of the |
ltar, arm in arm. The minister, old aud
ehrsighted and little deaf, advanced,
ro5ably concluding that his services were
equired.
Major Teller's blood ran cold. lie tried
, protest, but his tongue seemed para
fzed. Miss Pettigrew had captured him
1su.. 4. IL