Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-10-02
VERY SEASICK NAN
PROFESSOR eAINesAFlNE SCHOLAR
BUT NOT GOOD SAILOR.
rager,e.. for News OF tho suliivan-Cor-
bett Figbt--Msde Her Grave IN tne
Ocesu-Idfer's Reflections.

!.
To there IL ANYTHING calculated to irri
,.,a the pbilanthropist and worry tho
most resigned person in the world ~ Is
the individual who never gets seasick. lie
;s the meauest man on earth--or rather the
meanest man on the water-for after you
have been ont ut sea about two days you
think thero Is no such thing as earth.
For nv part | never can contain my
selfD literally speaking) when L get on
the ocean. and therefore the villain de-
scribe has the worst possible effect on me.
He attends all meals in the dining-saloon
There are four every day, and what is
worse he boasts about IL incessnntly and
drives YOU 70 distraction with his re-
marks. Sometimes. when you are feeling
particularly nauseous and secretly pridlng
yourself that you have devoured three
crackers in the course of the day. this
friend comes 10 you and describes the menu
in detail. The very thought OF food makes
YOU sick, but YOU have to stand IT. One
day after | had learned to tie a four-in-
, hand crayat and comb my hair while lying
fat Of my back in nv berth managed to
crawl up on deck. and, strange to say. none
of the tormentors approached me, TN the
| contrary my renovated and seasick soul was
delighted by seeing Professor Gaines, of
Richmond College, basking in the saline
sunshine. But was IL the Professorr No.
1t was only his shade--a ghost Of the for
mer man. Pale, hollow-eyed. palsied, and
weak he sat there. Feebly and sadly he
turned his listless optics. toward me
and a smile vainly struggled TO assert
itself. Professor" J sobbed Iii tremu-
too ?" The thin. troubled face looked
over the Doundiess ocean of blue towards
| the west and a wistful expression came
| over his features. The voice that had 80
often expounded the mysteries OF the
calculus and conc sections sank INTO a
whisper, and in sepulchral tones came the
monosvllabic answer, Hes.' On, now
| loved that man How he appealed TO my
| sympathies, and yet how | rgOiced-yes,
| gloated-to see him thus. But we both re-
covered at last. and finally saw the day
when we could each eat a many as SIX
crackers III twenty-four hours.
| -
During one of these "lucid intervals !"
the Professor, who, of course. Is a highly
entertaining conversationalist, told of his
first trip across. He was going TO Ger
many and Holland. and was one OF the
! first class passengers on Neither
lands steamer. 1t took the boat
nearly thirteen days TO make tie
journey, and during this time the
| talented young mathematician was
sick nearly every hour. In fact, he told
me that the first square meal he ate was III
Hamburg, the ships final destination. On
one occasion the Professor managed to get
on deck. and while sitting there he saw
woman suddenly and wildly rush on deck
and then plunge over into the waves. lie
| and several other passengers who witnessed
the terrible sight Immediately sprung TO
their feet. but it was too late. Almost IN
second the deep blue waters had closed
over the unfortunate woman, and she went
down into the depths of the fathomless
ocean. Once the witnesses TO the horrible
spectacle saw an arm rise up out OF the
sea, and then all was over. he steamer
was stopped, and nearly an hour was spent
IN looking for the corpse, but II could not
be found. Investigation disclosed the
fact that the woman was one OF the
second cabin-passengers, who had been
fearfully i'll with seaslckness ever since
the boat sailed. In fact, her suferings
were 80 intense that she became crazed
from pain. and it was while laboring under
one of these fits of dementia that she COM
mitted suicide. The unfortunate female
was German who had come TO America
to live with relatives, but found them I'M
kind and inconsIderate She was going
back home in impoverished circumstances.
and therefore had but little to hope for IN
this world When Professor Gaines came
better than he did on the first trip, and
though he was quite Ill at first he after
wards recovered and really enjoyed HIM
self. In fact, il Is astonishing how quickly
one forgets the tOrtdres OF seasickness,
but if it were otherwise am sure we would
all follow the example of the poor woman
who committed suicide.
-.
When our ship sailed past Fire Island
and we saw the quarantined fleet in New
York harbor a few minutes later the ex-
citement among the passengers became
intense. None of us knew exactly what
our fate would be. and as the officers of
the steamer possessed degree of taciturn-
ity equal only to an oyster, we were in no
position to gam information. Any
how | noticed that all the men were un-
usually wrought up--even more so than
one would have expected under the cir
cumstances. What was the matter?
Surely they were not so frightened and
worried about the cholera, or even the
prospect of being delayed on the ship for
twenty-one days. The belle of the boat
a lovely maid who always wore red veil
because 1t made her black eyes look pref
tIer-could do nothing with her admirers.
She smiled her most effective smiles; she
let the zephyrs toy with her ebon hair so
as TO create an artistic effect; she even
brought her dimples INTO play, but alas!
all these attractions were of no avail.
Her slaves were as restless as Gagged hye-
mas. They were too polite to quit her, Of
course but it was easy to see that she had
temporarily lost her charms. Meanwhile
we kept on sailing. and the nearer we came
to New York the more ships and tugs we
saw. After awhile the whole harbor be-
came dotted with boats. and suddenly a
beautiful yacht in full sail skinned close
by our steamer. And then you should
have seen the rush among our gentlemen
passengers. One and all flew TO the side
of the steamer and wildly yelled to the
men on the yacht. who licked in the
Sullivan-Corbett fght?"
Then the whole mystery dawned upon
me. The great smuggling contest had taken
place while we were out at sea, and so we
were cropping in intellectual darkness
about the result.
But the little yacht had glided beyond
hearing distance and the interrogation