Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

present nOnbH is the ITSSiutnIai Mnv
be. -Phiodetphia Record.
MApEL--"I had handsome you,,
man ut my feet Yesterday" lmyE
Eyes, | noticed you had bought M,
of new shoes. - Detroit Free Press. ~
JENNIE But you can't support VITA
on SD week, George" Georce.
"True, darling; but our firm raises i,S
men to $3.50 when they get married ="
Puck.
O. MARY had little lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
It followed her downtown one day.
And entered Mammons lair.
And when the lambkin got away
1t was Il little bare.
-Neac YORK. Tria
Mr.. Lopny-Noats, allow me to intro.
duce to YOU Mr.. Beudle, u membar Of
our legislature. Mr.. Voats-Glad IL
meet you, sir What corporation do
YOU represent Puck.
II DoAN' b'leve dah's q bit err use
sen'in dat boy o mine ter school" said
Uncle Zeb. "Why not?" cease he
kahn learn to count no higher'n four.
Soon's he gifts ter dat he jumps clar ober
ter 'lebben-fohty-1o ."-Ner York Her.
aid.
MABEL greatly agitated) --"Oh, Ethel
YOU have at last refused the hand Of
Mr.. Fellsoftly; ! know you have"
Ethel eagerly do you know
| it?" Mabel-"I saw him on the street
this morning." Ethel (alarmed)-
| oh, and he was dissipating?n Ma.
bel-"No, no; he was OFT driving with
Miss Pinkly, his old flame. "--Boson
| Post
BANGs-'I saw in this mornings
paper an item to the effect that you had
been granted II pension" Fraudleigh
$50 have.' Bangs''That's strange.
| / didn't know that you were in the
army at ALL" Fraudleigh--"Oh, yes.
| | was assistant sutler at Fort Marshall"
Bangs-"But yon didn't incur injury in
that service, did your Fraudleigh--
| "Ot course l did. You see, was open
ing oysters one day for the Colonel and
and | was wounded bya shell. "-BoS'oa
| Courier.
lr is Notifying fact that the bar
rooms are more honest than the church
socials with their lemons.-Bostoa lronS-
crpt.
SrINKs-"Goodno's pretty Typewriter
has left him. What was the matter"
Binks-''She caught him kissing his
wife. "-Jadae.
| SU MMEk llOSS 10 IlON HCSI pll tIc
lawns. - Ionker's Gazette. Does that
mean that the girls have begun to play
lawn tennis up your way?
| Bon PEAsrRAw--"Io on seem to be feel
in tough to-day" Bill Haystack --
Eyes, tough as leather. | was up to
New York the other day and GOT
skinned, and when / got home father
tanned me. "-Nea0 York Herald.
| THERE'S soda water sizzle
In the air;
| And one moment brings drizzle,
Next it's fair:
| And the girl whose charms are many
| Eats ice cream with Dick or Benny.
| And the young men haven't any
| Cash to spare
| MISS CERrLY.-"W makes you think
Mr.. De Vigne's marriage was 4 love
match?" Miss Thackeray-"Don't you
notice how completely they have
dropped out OF society ?"-Bo Post.
"CAN you beat carpet?" said the
lady of the house to the tramp who
asked for something to eat. Don't
know, num-" he replied frankly, II
never tried. But guess mebbe | can,
for I've beat most everything else in
this town. Detroit Free Press.
| WEARY WIGGINs-"Dat is n beautiful
story in de Bible about de rich man wot
made banquet. He asked his rich
friends, but dey made excuses; den he
went out and invited poor folks just
like u.s." Tired Traddles Eyes, but it
wor a fable. "-New York Herald.
| MIsTREss-"What have you marked
that II. NJ on all your pies for, No
rah ?" Norah-"Sure, ma am, that's to
tell tn mince pies from tn apple pies;
II. M on tn mince pies is tits inlnce,
and "T. M on tn apple pies Is faint
mince, SO | kin tell 'em, ma'am. wldout
cuttin' 'em. ''-Boston Budget.
CALAIS the last caws,' murmured
tim to the shotgun policy. -Lo~W Co"-
rjer.
TIE more peppery man is the less
he thinks he is to be sneezed at.-Bing-
hamton Republican.
FARMERS in Mexico always use oxen
of one color in the morning and another
color in the afternoon. They do nol
know why, but they know that 1t must
be the right thing to do, because their
forefathers did it.
THERE was blooming in Pasadena,
CAL. week ago, n Gold of Ophlr rose se1
bush, n climbing variety, with 2oo,Vo'
roses and buds on it. The owner OF the
tree, who certities to the number, Is
said to he returned missionary.
GAzzAM-I suppose that the favorlte
vegetable of duck is mandrake.
Maddox-And that of the hen is chick
weed, ofcourse. GaZzam-lt might DC
eggplant. Detroit Free Press.
THEN the guests went home ano
the nelghbors went to Sleep" is the
way local weekly winds up its account
of q lively party given downtown
PHILADELPHIA Record.
REPORT comes from London OF the
discovery of the thistle as an article o.
food for man as we'll as beast. Inc
thistle certainly has some very line
points, }onkeTs Statesman. ;,
MAMMA-"E Ethel, dear, why won
you say goodbye to this gentleman
lie Is very kind" Ethel" Because
mummy deer, you told him Just now NJ
is the lion of the season'--and | am sc
frightened" -Punch.
TIE tooter for hotel mt Niagara tall'