New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-12-04
TIE EEOLOGIZEUr ZEN.

TIE EKOLOGXfD HEN.
They have just put new science on tap in
Boston 1t is the science of housekeeping with
Greek name Whenever they make dis
coycrv or invention in Boston. whether II l.
a hair dive or n corn cure or a new kind OF
dog. they give il II Greek name and have
schools Of philosophy and Saturday afternoon
dinners and female debating societies and no
end of newspaper articles about it. Cook
crv. which is a large part Of housekeeping, ha'
sometimes been called an art and the " chef
nm artist but in Boston hereafter il rank, a
a science and the chef" H. "A scientist II Is
the science # GEOLOGY" and It's professors
"ckologiSt>" Mr. Edwin Atkinson is inventor
founder. missionary and propagation. The hu-
m0ri>i> Of the Boston press are having great
fun with him because his first discovery IN
clolngy is how 10 make IN aged weather
beaten and Storm-tos<cd hen as tender and
sweet aS Philadelphia broilcr cut of in is
prime before it had laid It's first egg or Is
peep had developed into cackle. EcSiau-
rant keepers are put in possession OF the IN
formation, -companird with comments OF
sarcastic and uncomplimcntary character con
corning the age and previous condition of
scrvitudc of the birds they have been in the
habit of offering their guests a spring chick
ems" Travellers have also been warned Ia be
on their guard against Mr. AtknSon'S re-
iuvcnatcd poultry. the ckologizcd' hon. There
is an undcrtono Of Sccptci>m in all the news
paper comments on the new science. particu-
arly on its poultry department. The belief
is general in Boston that no hen or chicken
under the age Of six eve. came into that town,
and the idea that Mr. Atkinson could render
them edible with anything less than "A pile
driver is 80 prcpOScrOuS a 10 excite ninth.
The conversions of the tough and hardened
birds encountered in Boston poultry markets
would tax the resources Of tho whole Salvation
Amy
And Yet we are rather disposed to think that
Mr. Atkinson can do it. We do not know pre-
ciscly how he docs it, whether by tabuating
the several parts of the hen, including the
gibctS. and then putting them through a course
Of applied mathematics such Il, he commonly
uses in discussing the tarin until the hen
squaukS "Quod ciat demon>irandum' and is
taken out soft or whether he combines chem
istry and moral Sua'ion in his processes. We
reject at once the suggestion that he may pos
Sibly have recourse - the pilc-drivcr or even
that he shuts himself up alone with the hen
and proceeds 10 instil now views Of lifo and
duty into the mind of the fowl with club or
stone crushcr or some such argument until the
hens moral nature undcrgocs an entire change.
Mr. Atkinson is not in the habit Of carrying
on great reforms in that way il would be too
violent and also have a tendency - scatter the
hen. If he does shut himself up alone with
The hen il must be with the view not 80 much
Of mauling and mutlating the bird as OF
setting facts and figures and census statistics
before it, in gcntcmanly and convincing way
and appealing t. its better instincts. There
are few hens, or even ROSTERS, cXtant that
could long withstand that sort Of thing. We
are quite disposed to think that if Mr. Atkin-
son can once get a hen alone in cOrncr-We
care not whose hcn-any Boston hcn-or how
old, even if il was born the same day with DR..
" iam Evcrctt-lct him get the hen alone
in Il corner and begin reading to her some of
his arguments on the tariff, we believe that
in less than half a day the hen would burst
into tears, relax its muscles, in short soften all
over, saying: Enough am thine; hasten
me to the gridiron or the spit better the fagot
and the stake than this"
We congratulate Mr.. Atkinson on his having
such an abundance CT Footsteps 10 experiment
on. The Democratic newspapers during the
month of November have been filed with
pictures of them; ROSTERS of more than ripe
age, with spurs like marlinspikes, the high
born strut of drum major and the capacity
to crow down steam whistle or a fog horn
If by any process whatever he can " ckologze"
these can make them tender and tractable he
will be doing a great service for very distin
guished gentleman who lately put his fingers
in his ears and fed away to Hog Island to get
rid Of the noise of them. If then he can re-
verse his process and tougher some Of the
young bantams that Massachusetts sent to Con
gress two years ago, that they would not
burst into tears when things did not 20 to suit
them, he would still further increase the worlds
debt Of gratitude to him. We may add also
that if while he is pursuing his poultry OK
pertinent he will hypnotic the Mugw'lmp hen
Of this tOwn-which with only one chicken out
cackles the whole barnyard he will receive the
thanks Of our contemporary, 1.-THE New York
SUM- which has shown by mathematical cal
culation that tho hen is nothing but fussy,