The true northerner., 1892-08-31
Sprinkles OF Spice.

WIEN mosquito presents MS Dill
he is not invited TO call again. Troy
Press.
THE seedy indivilu can find COM
.panionship in the blackberry pie
BinghamtOn Republican.
PAPER-HANGERs are about the only
men who succeed in business by going
TO the wall.-Texas Siftings.
PEOPLE who are able 10 raise a
breeze have an opportunity to be i'm
mensely popular during dog days.
SOME men if they take one swallow
will insist on having lark.-Boston
Post.
"YoU are the only girl / ever
loved" "Then we would better part
! don't want TO marry freak. -
Life.
DAPPER -"Whv did you leave your
last position; didn't it suit you?"
Flashly-"It didn't even keep me in
neckties."
THE crying need in naval affairs is
a marine Koch who can cure the raw
ages of coal consumption. Baltimore
American.
THE walking delegate does not wear
out half as much shoe leather as the
striker who is looking for another job.
New York Herald
WIFE-Harry, why did you have
your new trousers made without pOck-
cts? Husband-I did it for the sake
Of change, darling.
A WAITRESS may not know how to
deal pack of cards. but she can
easily raise the deuce By dropping a
tray.-Glens Falls Republican.
If the early bird which catches the
worm would rush matters little
and visit the electric lamps he could
get his fill of bugs. .-Columbus Post.
THERE is room to doubt whether a
person who sits in the gallery Of q
church is responsible for the deeds
done in the body. York News.
MAMMA-"How terriblc a man
was drowned at the bathing beach
this morning." Daughtcr-"Dear me!
And men are SO scarce here. New
York Herald.
THE nail trade is said to be looking
up. Certainly; think Of the cam
pagn lies that will have u be mailed
between now and November De
troit Free Press
PAULINE-"Lo'd, Gcems, what yO'
wiggilin' yo toes dat away TO-? Is
yo' well?" Geems-"l'se ies' countin'
up how much made dis week pickin'
strawberries. Judge
YOU'VE WIFE-"What do you think
Of my pie-crust, Jack?" Jack (who
doesn't wish to be us severe as the
case warrants)-"Very nice, my dar-
ling: but don't you get the shortening
in lengthwise?" Boston Post.
WHYTE-Arc you good at arth-
metic, Browne? Browne-Good, my
boy? Pm simply phenomenal at it.
] can add colump Of six figures up
seven times and make it come out
eight different ways. s.-SOmerville
Journal.
JOSEPH is witty head waiter
One day during the hot spell guest
said to him: "This weather is pretty
hot, isn't it, Joseph?" "Bc jabbers,"
he replied, hot is only nickname
for it. detroit Free Press.
PERDITA-"Are you going to accept
him, Pen?" Penelope-"I really don't
know, dear. Bladstrcet reports very
favorable on him, but the detectives
have not completed their investiga-
tions yet. Life.
lRATE PASSENGER (who has been
carried down town instead of up)-
You told me this car went up town
when | asked you conductor" Con-
ductor-"So it does, sorr, On the re-
turn trip. ."-Harper's Weekly.
"WHY do you keep the butcher
knife by the side of the water cooler?"
asked man who was making his first
visit to Cincinnati, of the hotel clerk.
"To cut the water in slices, sir" re-
piled the clerk, with some surprise.
Life.
DANCING MAsTER-"I want to look
at some nice shoes for dancing" Shoe
Man-"Yes, sir: here you are, a nice
pair of kangaroo skin shoes-and you
know, sir, for hops the Kangaroo can't
be beaten. Inter Ocean.
WHEN a man takes off his linen
collar and dons neglige shirt, and
woman throws aside her loose waist
'and puts on stiff shirt with high
collar, you may know that the hot
weather has comc.-Grand Rapids
Democrat.
AS A rule, a man who has mus
tache he can twist or whiskerS he can
stroke is three times as long making
up his mind as one who hasn't
Atchison Globe.
THEY says Mars is going to be
very interesting study" YES" she
answered, land as you may want to
use the latch key, I'll go with you
while you study it. it."-Washington
Star.
Il WANT an ice chest with a glass
IL lo t,, ha f,,r