Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-09-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A check mate-The stub.
A green grocer-The one who trusts.
Puck.
The handle to our name is the thing
by which pride lifts us up.
1t doesn't take bit of meanness out
of rascal to polish him.-Ram's Horn.
In the bright lexicon of matrimony,
the base ball player is not always good
catch.-Puck.
A woman's glory is in her hair, but it
is good plan to tie it up when cooking.
Texas Siftings.
The man who never attempts to sing
at any other time will break out in
picnic wagon. .-Atchison Globe.
"Ive lost five pounds of flesh on your
account" sighed the butcher, as dog
ran off with steak.-Texas Siftings.
Every mans ideal woman is one who
would believe he caught whales in the
river if he told her so.-Atchison Globe.
1t was much too sudden move;
For just before he spoke
The words that told her of his love
The hammock broke.
Judge.
"There goes Bobski, the boomerang
poet" Show did he get that namef"
s'By his verses always coming back to
him. ."-Philadelphia Record.
A contemporary lays down number
of rules of action in case of ones cloth
ing taking fire. One of them is "to keep
as cool as possible.-Tit Bits.
He-"That's that ass, Bouuderson,
isn't it2 lie should have been drowned
as puppy" She-"Tnere's time
enough yet, isn't theN g"-Puuch.
Do not judge from outside appear.
ances. The football looks plump and
fair proportioned, but there Is nothing
in it but wind. Transcript.
A victim o'erworkei
For whom hearts should grow tender
Is the lemon that's used
BY the lemonade vender
Washington Star.
Hudson Rivors--"Chicago has somo
very tall buildings, has it notF &c, B.
Anoua-"Has itl You have to lie HAT
ON your back to sec out OF town. New
York Herald.
Dog Fancler--'I tell you, gents, that
dog o mine is an intelligent crltter."
Synnek-"Possibly; but you wouldn't
think it, Judging from the company he
keeps. ".-Boston Transcript.
A mystery on sign at "a South End
provision store: 'Beef is very high,
our prices are the same" The question
is, does the sign attract or repel Gus.
tomersl Boston Transcript.
He-"I never heard a eonundrum yet
that could trouble me for moment.
She (admiringly)-"Can you always
answer them, theuw le-"oh, mol |
always give them up.'--someFsillo
journal.
Fred -"There seems to be a lot more
fuss made OF Miss A. 5 singing than Miss
Ks, aud am sure Miss h, has 10y far
the richer voice. Jack -"oh, yes, but
Miss \. has by far the richer father
Pick Me Up.
Paterlamilias --"What have you 10
show as the means OF supporting nay
daughter II you wed her, MI, salppyF
Mr.. Snippy with obvious emharrass'
mentl- "Er-ah-~l could tell better "
--er-l had seen your latest viii,
Chicago News, ,leeord.
seedy Party contemplating himself In
a pocket mirForl ava wearing
the hoals Of haak manager, the
trousers OF landed proprietor, oafeas
coat aud vest, and even e0nn1s hat,
aud ia spite OF all that | lock hke q
tramp. ~ fliegende lilaetter,
Nellie summetglrl-'We'se been en'
gagged oyef seek, GEORGE, dear noa't
You think Nc ought 10 break ltf' deefga
ludcmand -ulifeak tho engagementi
Why, love, arc seu tired Of me - seaafs
~ 'nog bul doa't you lhluk | ought "
| gise tue other gitls fame chance At fots
seeing YOU'RE ,ls ealy maa hsgsi"~~
l.zAslaa kaaa