Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1892-07-14

"Along jest afore Christ mas cum Pete
called meetin nv the deacons n church
wardens down to his place, n after the
sexton (Ah Foo he'd brought in d round
Of drinks he said Gents, ez chairman
exofficer in this yer layout move that
we give the parson little present fer
Chris'mus. Yer know he won't take
durn cent from US, n never has. Uv
course he has taken few thousand
from time to time to send to orfings I'D
things Nv that kind. but not a red for
hisself on pard ID move that we make
him little present on Chris'mus day
n it needn't be so -- little either
Gents in favor II say so n gents wot
ain't kin keep mum Carried, h that
settles it. Five Ace II nell take ID con-
tributions. . We won't take any less
than fifty cases.
''That wuz two days afore Chris'mus
day, n when it cum Pete II Five Ace
he'd about five thousand III dust Ii mig
gets fer the parsons present. Pete as-
sessed All Foo months paw, II be
kicked hard accordin but 'twer'n't IN
use.
"The day was bright n clear, n at
1even O'Clock every man in camp wuz at
church. The little buildin looked mighty
tasty-all fixed off with pine tassels u
red berries we'd got in the woods, u
every man wuz dressed out IN his
best duds. At 'leven exact the par
son n the kid, who he'd bin standin at
the door shakin hands n wishin everv-
body what cum ia Merry Christmas.
cum il II took their seats oil the plat-
form. Pete II Five Ace Ii Bill Jones n
Alabam n me sot on bench jest in
front o the platform We wuz all
logged out in onr best fixins, n Pete n
Five Ace they sported diamons till ser
couldn't rest. Waal, ez usual, the per-
ceedin's opened TIP with er prayer from
the parson, Il then we he'd singin, Il it
seemed ter me ez if | never he'd heerd
sich singin in my life afore ez thet kid
let out o him thet day.
"Then the parson he started III ter
jaw.-n must elbow lie giy Us d great
discourse. never wee him 50 long
winded afore. tho, Il Pete was begin
min to get mighty restless II oneasy,
when all NV suddint we heerd the
door open n shet quick Ii sharp u
every one turned around to find d great
big black bearded cuss ut tile door 4
coYerin the hull gang Nv lis with a
double bar'led shotgun. n jest stand
in thar cool II silent. Face around
here, yer " - fools. yelled some
body in a sharp, quick, biznus 1ueann
vice, ID all hands faced AROUND to lind
the parson holding EN- up v "a another
shotgun-own brother to the one the
other cuss he'd
81 don't want a word out er yer. lie
sed. Yer see MY game now, don't yen
Thar amt gun in the house 'cept the
ones you see. ID if any gent makes any
row in this yer meetin I'll fill his hide SO
plum full O. holes I won't hold his bones.
The kid viii now take up the collection.
n ez its the first one we ever hev taken
up yer must make it liberl one. seer
The kid started out with gunnysack,
n went through the very last man in
the crowd He took everything. even
to the rings On our fingers. The parson
he'd the drop n we knew it n never
kicked, but jet giv' mp our stuff lihe
lambs.
After the kid hed finished, LIE took
the sack outside. II that's the last we
ever seed o him. Then the parsou he
sez: n now. gents. must say adeo, ez
must be travelin. for | her another
meetin to attend this eve. want to
say tho afore 70 thet you're the orner-
lest gang Of - - fools | ever PLAYED
for suckers. A few friends Of mine hey
taken the liberty, while yer've been to
meetin this blessed Christmas day. nv
goin through Yer cabins ii diggin up Yer
little caches NV dust ID other val'ables
Yer stock hez all been stampeded, ii yer
guns yer'll find somewhar at the bottom
of the crick. My friend at the door viii
hold yer level while walk out, Ii we
will then keep yer quiet fer a few min
utes longer through ther winder jest w
! we can git nice cumf table START d
SO they did What end we do: The
parson walked out, grinning all over
himself. n lie n his pals they nailed up
the door u the winders thar WIZ only
twol, ii very soon after they he'd finished
We heerd the clatter D huffs n knowed
they WIZ gone
II must draw veil over the rest of
that days proceedin's, stranger. The
langwidge used by ther boys wuz too
awful to repeat, bat twas Jest ez this
parson sed, when we got out b thet
meetin house We found every animal Oh
the location gone, II the only arms left
wuz knives n clubs, yet we'd hev gone
after EN- with nothin but our hands.
but we couldn't follow afoot. How
much did they UT. ! don't rightly
know. but hot fur from fifty thousand
The huh camp wuz stone broke, all excep'
All Foo, n he wuz the only one NV Us as
he'd sense enuff not TO tell thet burned
parson whar lie cached his stuff. Pete
III Five Ace wuz ~ everlast hurt at the
hull biznus that they shut up the Bird
d Prey, borrowed All Foo's sack u left
for the bay to try II find thet parson,
but they never did find him, n no
one ever heard ny him again. Cali
f0rnian