Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-11-06
How 10 Make Titles Useful.
rror thu Iltanafch.1

Twas a witty but truthful remark OF Do
Tocoueyille IN Democracy in America that
in framing our government we Iorplu
titles. not because we despised titles, but
because we loved them so much, and that
Therefore as all could not have titles none
should-a remark probably suggestive OF
Macauley's. THAT the Puritans hated
bear bating not because 1t gave pam TO
bears, but pleasure to men,"
But the fathers builded not so wisely as
thew thought, because in divesting gov
ernment of power TO confer titles they ieit
each man free TO confer title upon SELF or
neigbbor, which has been done dd h0ttum
if not dd ndusedDi.
But our passion for titles, though sneereo
at by many, is not so bad after all, oecause
il may be made useful to society or even to
reduce taxes. This may be done either by
a tariff on titles or by. making them de-
pendent upon usefulness as citizens.
Thus call IN ell titles. even those con-
ferred by General John b. Gordon,
but let everybody have any title paid
for. Initiation tax should be say
800 for captsin. with renewal OF sou;
$500 for major, with renewal OF Slov
81. 900 for colonel. with renewal OF Si00:
$4,000 for general. with renewal OF 81, ooo-
all renewals annual. Tax on judge must
be low, say S25. with removal OF Sl5, To
make things correspond. Instead OF tax
ing title of NJ. D., more revenue can be de,
rived by requiring doctors 10 pay Small
fee on each patient lost. A large revenue
can be raised by levying big tax on horse
doctors. tooth-doctors. corn-doctors, d "a,
for privilege of being called doctor; for the
last one will pay rather than miss the title.
Owing to modesty Of the clergy and their
dislike to be called rabbi inducements
must be offered to become ID. d., there
fore the tax on ID. ID. should be merely
nominal, say $40 with an annual renewal or
SIS. IL the tax corresponded to that on COL
onel the title of ID. ID. would become like
the dodo. or great aux. extinct. Governor
should assimilate to general with the same
tax for privilege of being called governor.
Indeed. think that in these days OF peace,
when the talk IS war and every old soldier
a hero. all titles should be substituted by
military titles just as now IN the army doc
tors are known as major and colonel and
In the Salvation Army all titles are military.
The tax on titles should be provided for
in the annual levy just as licenses are, an
equitable proportion going to state, city,
and county. Or if revenue from titles be
rejected as bringing the military into dis
credit, the state can derive great oenent
BY making titles dependent upon good
works. Thus abolish oil titles and provide
that all become captain when 70 and then
make promotion dependent upon useful
ness to the community. Thus no captain
shall become major unless he has increased
his tdJdbies $40, 000 no major shall become
colonel unless he has increased his taxa
bles S50,O00 and no colonel general unless
he has increased mis- taxables Sl0o,o
The struggle for promotion Will mere ase
the public wealth wonderfully. For ex-
ample, captains will be so plenty people
will be ashamed of the title, and SO the
industry. energy, and intelligence OF cap
tains will not sleep until they become
majors, and "a every major means an In
crease of taxables OF $4,000 q great in
crease of revenue follows. But as Tor
every captain who becomes major there
will be scores who in their UNSUCCESSFUL
effort will have increased their taxables
two, three, five, nine thousand dollars,
further great increase OF taxables follow:
and so on from major to general till IN
few wears there will be very many hun
dred-thousanders or very few generals. II
colonies and generals become too common
the limit can be raised to 100000 for
colonel and S5OO,000 for general. Abuse
of titles can be easily guarded against by
State and local boards and by heavy fines
for fraud and deception.
As sop to professions each denomina-
ton should be privileged to nominate one
of its clergy general; also, the legal pro-
fession and the medical fraternity, Though
the latter generalship Will, from profess
sional jealousy, be frequently vacant.
Either of these modes will be extremely
beneficial to the public and should at once
be adopted in place of the present utterly
Improbable method of each man q title
unto himself.
Mister DISPATCH. you wish reform in
titles: now, why not accept one Of these
ways as proper solution or, if not, why
not. and give Us, pray, better plan.
SEyEx.