Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-04-24

sls.: -sS~M.. M...nr!
Tread the Plastic. Yielding Lown.
gondola, and expressed surprise and dissst-
isfaction with his new quarters in his usual
way. Slowly and more slowly still moved
on the train; it crept ahead about 200 yards,
stopped at the tank to take water, and Mark
Antony climbed out of his private car and.
remarking that for the life of him he
couldn't understand what all this foolish
ness was for, preceded me home.
The following week gave him trough on
rats. It threw him into fits and which
kept the women folk OF the household in
doors all day, much of the time on chairs
and tables; but, further than making him
abnormally suspicious of oil food which I
afterward rendered him, the poison had no
permanent effect on him. Really, he is not
my cat, and think the county should take
him off my hands.
did once own a cat in fee simple-a NAL
! tese kitten for which paid 81 1t died in a
few weeks Of some lingering and startling
disease which made its bair stand on end and
turned its eyes round and red, SO that who
ever looked upon it first gasped for breath,
then shrieked and then threw the first
thing in reach at the apparition. One MEN,
ber of the household invariably crossed her.
self and said short Latin prayer when the
thing appeared in the range of her vision.
1t was certainly a spectacle to suggest a
dead language. We did all We could for
the Maltese.
This Was . Different Style.
When man has S4 invested in q piece of
live stock he doesn't yield it up to the
grisly clutches of the tyrant death without
q wrestle. We sent for regular cat doctor:
man who attends to all the sick animals
in the neighborhood. He doctored Bud
Norriss' bay colt, the TIME 1t got into the
house yard and ate pie it found on the
window sill. Everybody says the colt
would have died if it hadn't been for Doc
Sturdevant Was sick in his stall for three
weeks as it was, and has never been much
account since. Doc. says it will take about
three years for him to get the pie out of his
system.
He saved Jed. Greenlow's COW, too.
Greenlow came out of town two years ago,
bought place out here and stocked UP FIVE
acres with farm machinery for Russian
colony. He paid $3.50 for Jersey COW,
and subscribed for all the agricultural
papers in the world. He found in one of
them-the most expensive one, with a col.
ored frontispiece every week-a prescrip-
tion for warm mash that would increase
the yield of milk % pounds q day and guar
antee 5per cent of it to be cream. He had
his COW man-kept separate man for
everything OH the place-mix it up and
give it to her Cow went crazy in the
night; broke out of her stable, got into the
conservatory; broke $40 worth Of glass and
ate and trampled down S210 worth of rare
plants. As the people began to come out of
the house and the servants quarters in the
morning, she chased them around and
tossed them into different places and
broke different bones in each of them.
Greenlow had cards out for a lawn party
that afternoon. While the guests were
making merry the COW went into another
spasm and got out again, and before the
men could get down out of the trees there
were four ensagemets broken. which shows
that II girl wants to get along. she must
Well, Doc. brought the COW through all right,
but of course the agricultural paper pre-
scription lett lasting traces upon her. One
OF her horns grew tho wrong way after that,
the other fell out, and her tail dropped of.
Greenlow sold her for SIS, though, which
was better than nothing.
How the Doctor Treated Him,
SO we sent for Doc. Sturdevant to come and
see the Maltese cat He said there was no
time to lose, and we should have sent for
him as soon as we saw her fur begin to rise.
He bored her ears with hot iron, lifted the
skin of her back and ran a hairpin through
and fastened the ends together with q wire,
split her tail down from the other end about
two and half inches, and rubbed in salt
pepper, cut off all her claws, gave her
drench that he mixed himself tied piece
OF ham rind over eyes. and finally bled her.
Didn't do any good. though; she died that
same night 1t was because we didn't send
for him soon enough. he said. I suppose if
We had sent for him any sooner she would
have died before he got there.
At this Mark Antony, who cost me nothing,
will never die under medical trea tment. Not
n hNy orf or
cruelty. A man who knows all about cats
once told me that ought to feel proud OF
my possession. He said he was a thorough
bred Angora cat. But after had Dragged |
about this for nearly two weeks, the man
wrote me to say that he mad made little
he meant Fernweod, which is the
he sounds more like a Wawa cat,
which is farther out on the Central division
This joke is a little fur-fetched, but so is the
cat.
Springs Last-Born Darling.
It is the May-day; raw the air;
The sun above, how bright 1t il.
Within my throat turks Spring-time's note,
And several kinds OF 'itises:'
Bronch. tonsil, laryng, several vernal things
Which the May poet seldom ever singa
How sweet to put on heavy overshoes
And lightly tread the plastic, yielding |
To scramble, shriekins. through the Shiny
And come out safe. with both goloshes
gone. |
Hail, howery Mayi Hail. snow. wind. rain
and sleet;
Hail, doctor. bed. and plasters on both feet!
The circus poster blossoms on the fence,
And, walking slowly DER the distant lea
Home coming on the ties, from tar and
The elaurel-crowned comedian see.
Hark, from the cackling henyard, sharp
and clear.
It is the shrill-lipped crocus that hear.
By violet haunted ways see the weed
With nose of bloom, and rags that WOO tho
sun,
With listless step, and sense OF chronic need,
With endless Tourney always just begun
The yernal tramp. who sleeps, who eats,
From May to March, stomach upon legs.
Soft buds the nurseryman. with sapless
trees,
The seedman blooms, with antique goods
embalmed;
And pious gardeners, on bended knees,
Scratch In the ground for hopeless bulbs
Chill Is the night. and raw the fitful day,
Cold as Norway barn the house; it's May.
ROBERT J. BURDErTE.
.. Inconstant Man.
Detroit Free Press.1
He wooed and wooed, o.,
She vowed she wouldn't
He cooed and cooed,
Until she couldn'e
m hA