The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-09-22
WIT AND HUM0R.

| Bees that are fed on sugar soon be-
| come too lazy to hunt for flowers.
| The wife of genius is generally
very lonesome woman.-Rdna's horn.
/ Politics makes strange bed-fellows,
but they don't get to bed very early |
nights. iSomerUiile Journal.
What value most is my peace OF
mind" That's strange, too. You've |
such small piece. "-Harper's Bazdr. |
The college graduate thinks he
knows everything until he undertakes
to hitch up mule.-Binghanaton Re
publican.
Paradoxical as it may seem, it is
fact that the more Mumm man gets
the more loquacious he grows.-Butato
Enquirer.
Brace-aI make it point to give the
devil his due" Bagley-"Yes? Would
you mind handing him that five you
owe men Y. Herald.
Marriage will continue to be failure
till our young women learn to support
a man in the style he has always been
accustomed to.-Elnsira Gazette.
The travel-stained strawberry that
visits US these days has not had time
to get the cinder out of its eye since its
long Journey Minneapolis Journal.
"Have you parrot that can swear?"
"Yes," replied the bird-dealer We'll,
I'll take it; | want to hang it up beside
the thermometer. ~ Washington Star.
DeGarry-"I never tasted anything
worse than cod liver OIL" Merritt
Then YOU could never have tried any
of those tasteless preparations.'-A
i. Sun.
He-"Have you heard?" She
"What?" He-"Miss Spinster is going
to be married" She-"O, yes, I've
heard that ever since | can remember"
. Pickle Up.
The person in the government ser
vice who can handle money with the
greatest rapidity is a woman. Many
husbands will readily believe this
Louisville Courier Journal.
Clubleigh-"I understand Miss Won
Smiths marriage was a failure Pom
mery-"O, no, not quite so bad as that
The man she married was worth $780,
000."-DetrOH Free Press.
Rowlev-"I wonder what Noah and
his family did when they first got out
of the arkp" Surface-"Ill bet that
! all the women folks tucked up their
skirts out of the mud. IN. Y. Herald.
Billy the Beau-"Anything new in
engagement rings?" Jeweler-"Yes,
our new Seaside plated goods are
cheap, and are warranted to outwear
any summer-resort engagement" -
JetUelerS' Heekly
| "And then, Waldo dear, Adam and
, Eve were compelled to leave the
Garden of Eden forever. Now, was not
that awful?" q don't know, mamma
: Couldn't they have come to Boston,"
| -Brooklyn Life
Miss Pert Cat the museum)-"O, I'm
afraid to go near the snakes cage. he
might bite me-" The Keeper-"O,
; don't be alarmed, miss; he never bites,
he swallows his whites whole. "-Har-
; card Lamp00n.
, Hostess what has become of Sandy
) Smith, who stood so high in your
, CLASP" Alumnus = 90, he's taken
orders" Hostess-"He's in the min
istry, them" Alumnus-"No; in res
taurant. "--Br0oklyn Life.
, Salt Lake Jeweler-"John, put a
r sample of that new lot of wedding rings
I in the window" The New Clerk
"Yes, sir" Jeweler-"And, John, mark
, them $3.50 each; special discounts for
a dozen lots. "-Jee0etler's Weekly.
| Maiden listening to Memberships
5 wedding March, i don't see why
: they have the clashing of the Gym
t balls" Young Mrs Benedict why,
as a symbol of the clashings which are
t to follow. of course. Kate Eietd'S
Washington.
. She was from Boston. She remarked
. proudly: mo member of my family
was ever known to break his word. u
! "No," replied her husband, although
some of the words were big enough to
stand breaking several times. Wash
t7gt0n Star.
As a pleasant-faced woman passed
the corner Jones touched his hat to
her and remarked feelingly to his COM
. panion: "Ah. my boy, l owe a great
t deal to that woman" Your mother?"
was the query. NO. my landlady."
, Detroit Free Press.
Fair Criticize, your picture is just
, lovely; but surely the original is not
quite $3.50 flushed as that?" Artist
r FLUSHED? The originate" Fair
: Critic = Yes; Lady Golconda, you
know?" Artist - That's not Lady
, Golconda. That's tropical sunrise. !"
/: Judy
Bibliomaniac-"T There is a poetical
quotation that has been bothering me
: for m>lths. I've looked high and
low for it but | can't find its source"
Practical Friend-"Why not look in
/, the Congressional Record? You'll find
8 it there if anywhere. "-BoSton Tran
script.
, Gilhooly came home at late hour
and in his usual condition. you are
, just out of the saloon. Now, don't you
, deny it." said his wife. 1T ant my
, fault | came home" responded the
wretched inebriate, I'D have been in
, the saloon yet if the proprietor hadn't
r closed up."-Teras !Sit1ings.
: First Lady-"rm giving a big din
, ner party this week, my dear. Can you
: lend me some knives aud forks;
5 haven't enough?" Second Lady-"My
: dear, would with pleasure, but I've
5 lent all N.Y. spare ones to the dear vicar;
+ he's got lot of other clergymen stop
ping in his house for a weeks PRAYER
, and fasting. Pck-Me-Up.
A Chicago minister once preached
on the lack of life in church meetings
and expressed his belief that what was
wanted was more fire in the meetings.
; The good man was Mortified the next
morning on opening his paper to read
that the printer had quoted him as
saying: what we want and must have
is more fun in our church meetings"
Chicago Standard.
The new companion (fresh from
/ Girtham college)-"Yes, Lady Jane,
saw her, with her habitual hypocrisy,
holding out her hand to hin, as no uas