The Columbus journal., 1892-07-06
,uios: or Bob Badger Is . gone so..

quick or Bob Badger d . gone gos-
ling!"
Apparently the teeth were still
stuck in Badgers throat and the case
was . desperate one MrA Badger
clutched the protruding plate and
gave q yank that came near pulling
her husbands neck out by the roota
.Ow! Ow! you Internal IDIOT" he
howled. Are you trying to break
my head of In order to get them
outT'
They must be got out in some way
or you are a dead man" she wall ed
oh dear! What shall I do!"
See If you can't squeeze 'em up"
gasped Badger
MIRA B. grabbed him around the
windpipe just below the bunch and
squeezed till Badger was as black in
the face as a badly tanned niger. She
did not get the teeth. but she did get
clip in the ear that l0osened her
grip and made her start back in aston
ishment
DO you mean to choke me to
death, you laundering fool?" raved
the injured Badger. Il might just as
well let the uppers strangle me as to
have you garrote me in that manner.
Look down my throat and see ii you
can see EN-"
Mrs. Badger did as she was hidden.
but she was nerved up to such .
degree that she hardly knew what she
was about She could not see down
her husbands swallow very far on ac-
count of the imperfect light and in
her excitement and eagerness to
illuminate the yawning chasm she
showed the candle-fame down his
throat for more than four inches
Badgers jaws closed upon the blaz-
ing candle with snap like those of q
fox trap but not until his moustache
had taken fire and scorched his upper
lip and the end of his nose to blister.
The yell that he let out tore the black
robe of night to tatters and smote his
wife's tympanums like bass-drum-
mer pounding the calfskin on the
glorious fourth.
You driveling IDIOT" he shrieked
as he spit out the candle end. while
the blaze in his moustache died out
for lack of fuel Are you trying to
poke them down my neck with q
tallow dip or burn them up where
they are? Don't act 50 much like .
chuckle- headed chump. Stop trying
to murder me and capture those. up
pers in some way. or else you will
have to prepare your widows weeds
in the morning."
Let me cut them out my dear"
said Mrs. Badger as she approached
with another candle and a carving
knife that looked like the blade of q
guillotine.
.:Are you clean crazyP' howled
Badger in terror as he hurled a pill
low at his w,fe's head. Drop that
sabre and listen to reason. won't
have my throat cut il l have to lose
the whole six dollars that / paid for
those uppers. For PHYS sake think
of something else. and be quickr'
Don't you suppose I could fish
them up with a hook and line if you
opened your mouth a little wider?'
she asked.
NO you couldn't you eonfounded
eimpleton you!" roared Mr.. Badger as
loud as he could for the grip he still
kept upon his windpipe. Idon't want
my stomach hauled up on q pickerel
hook. now can tell YOU"
Maybe might get hold of them
with the tongs if they are not too far
down" she cried. struck with another
brilliant idea.
.Uh. you double-dyed dunce!"
shrieked Badger. 4 or the love of
heaven, hold your tongue and send
for a doctor"
In a comparatively short time the
old family physician stood by Badgers
bedside and the whole matter was
explained to him. The teeth were
still easily felt for Badger had held
them so firmly that they had not
moved an atom since he first awoke
The doctor took hold and squeezed
and twisted on t.ose obstinate uppers
for some time but they still refused
to start in either direction. Badger
STOduoI.
Get him a glass of water; that
may loosen them up little. " ordered
the medical man. I've must get those
teeth out in some way or Badgers
hours are numbered"
Mrs. Badger ran for the water. but
the first glass she caught up proved
to be full already. Somewhat sur
prised. she glanced hastily into it and
gave a glad cry of astonishment and
relief
There quietly soaking in its crystal
depths. where he himself had placed
them on retiring the night before.
were Badgers uppers The ineffec-
tual effort to squeeze out the poor
mans Adams apple" ceased then
and there. Chicago Sun.