Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-12-01
An Unhappy bridegroom.

There are dlScOmIOrUS COuneCIeu
with getting married that very few
people know anything about, except
the bridegrooms. remarked young
imam, who had recently gone through
| the experience. y
IL did not suppose the honeymoon
period had any drawbacks, Jack,
ventured the bachelor reporter.
well, 1t has some curious incl
dentals that l never dreamed OF.
After the public announcements OF
the date of my wedding-they APP
peared in most of the city papers,
began to receive steady stream or
circulars. There were circulars from
haberdashers, shoe stores and florists,
and two applications from real estate
agents to show fats, and three days
before my wedding arrived printed
slip, ostensibly a cutting from a.
newspaper.
This was truly curiosity. 1t was
headed, - to Marry although all
New York were agog at my approach
ing ceremony, and then under the
important line by telegraph followed
fulsome account OF myself. My
brief and uneventful career was pad
ded up to heroic size; every phase of
it that could appeal to vanity was
dwelt upon, and just as some agree
able remarks were being made about
my personal appearance the article
had been clipped, and ] was informed
by an accompanying circular that l
could obtain copies of the paper, one,
or any number, by sending two dol
lars to a certain box at the New York
, Postoffice.
!. "Of course 1 ignored this tricky
scheme, though as a device for bleed
, ing the vain 1t was most interesting;
but on my return to New York, after
! the affair was all over, my real woes
began. The legitimate. press associa-
q tions kindly informed me thai there
I were fourteen notices Of my marriage,
q and that could have them all for a
I, consideration.
Il devoted my first hour after re-
: turning to business to this class OF
: applicants, when a visitor was an
!. nounced. He turned out to be an
: insurance agent, and for five days
talked insurance, read insurance,
a dreamed insurance. The elevator
= brought the agents in person, the
. mail brought their letters. l even
+ received two kilograms on the sub
q iect. From one company alone came
= four different canvassers. My bust
y ness was interrupted and my patience
3 was exhausted. Late on the sixth
= day of this plague, when l was In nc
mood for trifing, the door Of my out
a Office opened, and small man, with
: red whiskers and spectacles, came
: slowly in.
, ats no use to come any further,
y called to him. Il know your com
pany. There have been four otheI
: men ahead Of you, so it's no use
> There's an elevator in the hall. Yol
= can ride down in 1t free, my friend
y but il you say insurance around her
NJ I'll give you a chance to go down thu
a stairs free-ride down, too
a. Il stopped here to draw BREATH, ant
"A the red-headed man said:
"'You were married last month";
al was. Now. ask my age sug
gested, and compute my chances o
life.'
y "'Well, you married my niece, con
~ tinued the man. i have just bee
u calling at your house, and she sen
80 me down TO surprise you. L recko
~ it's the other way; and now I'll g
"a out and take that free elevator.
p Il tried to apologize and explain,
~ added the unfortunate bridegroom
= - sadly, "but it was no use; he went"