The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-03-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A nice new umbrella is used up when
it is used at all.-Philadelphia Press.
The thinner thing is the more it is
inclined to spread itself.--Oil City Biz
zard.
Fame comes only when deserved, and
then it is as inevitable as destiny.--Texas
Siftings.
The typewriter is said to be the only
wowan a man has the right to dictate to.
Boston Journal.
The eyes are the windows of the soul,
especially when we have pain in them.
Jewellers Circular.
The bank wrecker may be bailed out
but the bank itself goes dow vnia The dean.
sea of distress.
You can't agree with bigot without
agreeing with him in thinking that you're
a fool.-Elmira Gazette.
1t is well for the small man to practise
until he knows how to apologize grace
fully.-Somervil!e Journal.
Charity may begin at home, but it is
wiser for subscription. seekers to call at (
business mans othce.-Puck.
1t doesn't follow that because a man is
a master of dead languages he has q kill
ing style of speech. Post.
One of the queerent things we ever
heard was regarding a matchmaker who
sleps on pallet. Circular.
Both men and women have their fail.
ings. With men it is The big head with
women, the big hat. Boston Transcript.
The snare of drum is not dangerous.
1t is the snare of the will drummer that
you want to look out for.-Bostoa Post. =
It does not necessarily follow because
a clergyman is affected that his hearers
will be affected by his sermons. Boston
Transcript.
After much solicitation, the German
Government has decided not to send the
Watch on the Rhine to the Worlds Col
umbian Exposition. n.--Jewelers' Circular.
Why does she wriggle and squh m around
And look SO ill at easey
Because the minister's looking at her
And she's trying not TO sneeze.
New York Herald.
Life is made of compensations. -Bv
the time man is old enough to realize
what lot he does not know he is too
old to worry over It.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mr.. Fligg--"Tommy, my sou, do you
know that it gives me as much pain as it
does you when punish you2" Tommy
-"Well, there's some satisfaction in
that, anyhow. THE Comic.
'I wish l hadn't eaten that apple"
said Fatty, ruefullly. "Wny, was Il
bad one1' "Well, believe it was
spelling for a fight, and his face took
on a look of pain.-St. Joseph News.
He--"Do you think there is ar
truth in the saying, Distance makes
heart grow fonderT" She-"Pm su
of it. like you ever s, iiuch bctt
when you are away. '--Brooklyn Eagle
Mrs. wire-"Just think of T.
Mrs. Bragg's husband accompanies -
wife whenever she goes shopping. Isn't
he good2' Mr., Wickwire-"H'mh
I've got more confidence in my wife thar
that. ."-Iudianapolis journal.
1t is little odd about life insurane
IL Is university hlullLt-l ludJ the O.
die young, but no company cares to IA
a risk on the bad man, when if the co
verse of the proyerb be true, he ought {
live till all is blue. Boston Transcript
Mr., Blackhills displaying his oollec-'
tion of Indian curios) is a speci-
men of the waS paint OF the Sioux. 1
brought it when came home from nv
last trip" Fair Yisitor-"Ah, YES, 1
see; sort Of O. Sioux veneer. Boston
Post
Did it ever occur to you that Colufn,
bns was in a very melancholy state Of
mind when he was on his voyage to the
New Worldl II not, remember what
the old song says, SIN 1892 Columbus
crossed the ocean blue. Boston Tran
script.
Not Entirely Sure; Father-"Well,
Tommy, how do you think you will like
this little fellow for a brother9' Tom
my inspecting the new infant somewhat
donbtfully)-"Have we got to keep him,
papa, or is i.e only -ImpIr"-Chior
Tribune.