Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-12-26
JUST FOR FUN.

red.
When barber talks too much, his
stories are generally illustrated with
cuts.
1t doesn't follow that man ap
proves of a cyclone, even if he is com
pletely carried away with it.
Mr.. F. A. Sllivan, of Chicago, Ills, writes,
that he has used DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup for
bronchitis and found it to be represented,
''a great remedy and good friend"
Husband j remember the time
when you said you wouldn't marry the
best man on eaath. Wife, didn't.
The great value in astronomy as
science, morally speaking also, is that
it tends to make people look higher.
Nudge is still looking for snap, I
suppose? Yes, but be doesn't seem to
have the necessary ginger to make it.
Teacher in mineralogy class-John-
ME, give me the name of the largest
known diamond Johnnie-The ace.
| "You should always pay for your
fish balls as soon as you get them"
"Why?" Because they are @. 0. Do
Many home has been rendered sad and
desolate by the loss of some dear, petted child.
This is dangerous season for children, and
parents should keep DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
handy.
Edna What do you suppose makes
Tom write such awfully gushing let
tiers? Kate-Oh, 1 suppose he uses
fountain pen.
GAS terrible as an army with ban
ners'' has no reference to a political
parade, although the banners are ter
rible enough.
/ Mamma-What's the reason you and
your sister can't get along without
quarreing? Little Johnny I dunno.
Mebby she takes after yon an take
after papa.
II recently performed four mar
rage ceremonies in twenty minutes,o
remarked Rev. DR.. Thirdly. ''That
was a rate of twelve knots an hour,o
added Miss Flypp.
The strongest recommendation that any ar
ticle ca have is the endorsement of the moth
ers of the town. When the mothers recon-
mend it you may know that that article has
more than ordinary merit. Here is what the
Centerville, South Dakota, Citizen says edi-
torially of article sold in their town:"From
personal experience we can say that Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy has broken up bad
colds for our children. We acquainted
with many mothers in Centerville who would
not be without it in the house for good many
times its cost, and are recommending it every
day so cent bottles for sale by II. c. Pierce
Druggist.
The Governess-And now what is a
parable, Effie? Effie (who has got
rather mnddled)-A parable? Oh, of
course, a parable is heavenly story
with an earthly meaning.
M. Pasteur states that, when bitten
by a mad dog, man who habitually
uses Intoxicating spirits is more diff
cult to cure than temperate man.
Yes, and when bitten by any other
disease.
s'That was very reasonable re-
quest Rev. Mr.. Whitetie made last
Sunday" ''What was it?'' "He re-
quested that no buttons be contrib
uted for the heather without garments
attached to them"
dennis, what made the mon strike?'
" Do they want more wages?'' "Och! |
no, sor, it was just this: Some one sed |
the walking delegate wasn't earnin'
his money, an he heard it; an SO he
ordhered US to strike.''
S. n. Clifford, New Cassel, Wis, was troub-
led with Neuralgia and Rheumatism, his /
Stomach disordered, his Liver was effect /
ed to an alarming degree, appetite fell away,
and he was terribly reduced in flesh and
strength. Three bottles of Electric Bitters
cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Harrisburg, ILL.,, had a
running sore on his leg of eight years stand
ing. Used three bottles of Electric Bitters
and seven boxes of Bucklen'S Arnica Salve
and his leg is sound and well, John Speaker,
Oatawba, o., had five large Sores on his Leg
doctors said he incurable. One bottle
Electric Bitters and one box Bucklen's Arm
lea Salve cured him entirely. Sold at H. c.
Pierce's Drug Store.
go my friends, there are some spec
tacles that person never forgets!n
said lecturer, after a graphic de-
scription of terrible accident. "I'd
like to know where they sells them,''
remarked an old lady in the audience.
The saloon is not only the power
behind the throne but it is the throne
itself, and the distinguished gentle
men who are the standard bearers of
the opposing political parties know
this better than myself, yet they
would not dare say one word against
this corrupting and murderous foe.