Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1892-12-14
WIT AND lIUMOR.
WHEN !

Galveston NeUs.
When the head of mortal gets
turned it is always turned the wrong
way GatyeStoR NeWS.
Mistress -"You are the biggest fool
l ever knew" Maid-"You forget
yourself, ma'am. "-Judge.
There isn't one man in dozen who
will take the word of preacher in a
horse trade.-Rans's Horn.
Many man thinks he can read
woman like book till he tries to shut
her up.-Phitadeiphia Times.
When man is not doing well he
imagines he could do better if he could
move and pay more rent. --.AtchtSon
Globe.
1t is all right to wait till the clouds
roll by if you are spending the time
earning money to buy an umbrella
Atcaison Globe.
The devil would rather start fuss
between couple of church members
than sell a drunkard barrel of whis-
ky.-Ran's Horn.
He-"So you are going to marry Mr..
JonesP" She-"I don't see why you
should say that; we are only engaged"
boston Beacon.
A certain amount of wholesome ig-
norance is necessary to the enjoyment
or even to the federation of existence.
-7eras Syttngs.
When man can't find his shirt but
ton on Sunday morning his wife is
apt to have trouble with his choler.-
Binghamton Leader.
Pointing at the caudal appendage of
the hand-organ monkey, bubble re-
marked: "the tail of wayside din."-
Boston Transcript.
81 only got nominal fee in that
case" said Brief. $50 the plaintiff
said. He said your charges were phe-
nominal. "-Btacb and White.
Mother-"Do you know why your
pa called Mr. Blowhard a liar, Tom
myp" Tommy -"Yes'm; he's smaller
man than pa. "-BrookiW Life.
There are lots of men who will con-
slider that you are treating them
warmly enough if you buy them hot
Scotches. Binghamton Leader.
do you have natural gas herep"
said the stranger in Washington.
"No." was the reply. Congress isn't
in session now. Washington Star.
II wonder why he didn't kiss me
when l accepted him?" perhaps he
thought the occasion demanded some
thing unusual from him" -LJe'S CAL
endar.
Trotter (wealthy and close, Shaping
his pockeD-"Money talks" Barlow
(poor and melancholy)-"S they say,
but it never gives itself away."--N. Y.
Herald.
Poet-"I have a little poem here, sir,
that has been indited-" well,
sir, | would be glad to see it con-
victed. but l can't try it."-LJe's
Calendar.
She-"Of course, you will say that
we women dearly love secret He
10, no. If you did you wouldn't be
so eager to give it away."-hdtanapo-
lis Jonrndi.
Young Mrs. Fitts-"Are these pool
! rooms some sort of bathing arrange
ment, dear?" Mr. Fitts-"No. They
only clean fellows pockets. "-Indi-
annapolis Journat.
81 like him, even if he is profess
| sional politician. He is such big,
bluff fellow" Yes. He can make
bigger blum than anybody | ever saw"
-HdShington Star.
Young molher-"I wonder why the
no l,y nj
/ Young Father (wearily)-"I suppose
he's mad because he's been making no
trouble. Good NeWS.
Maud-"Mamma. what is this Peo-
Piles party that | read so much aboutp"
Mamma = "Some vulgar entertain
ment, think. Nobody in our set is
giving it."-Butdio Express.
"Whenebbah yoh feels like yoh want
sympathy" said Uncle Eben, "jes'
laugh healthy an you'll fin people jim
in right in. Laughin' am de ketchn-
est ting dat s."-Washingtom Star.
"Straws show which way the wind
blows" mo, they don't" replied the
man who is afraid of the Farmers
Alliance. "They used to, but hay
seeds show it now. y Washington Star.
Clarence-"Charley Knowlittle COM
mitted suicide by blowing his brains
out" Beckson-"Well, well; and so
he managed to get something through
his head at last, did hep Brooklyn
Life.
"Did you read in the paper" said the
milkman, about person who put
paris green in family's milk P"
MAY be" said the cook, "they got tired
of SEEM their milk blue. y Washing-
ton Star.
Neither my father nor grandfather
ever did bit of work in their lives"
boasted the visiting young man.
GOSH" said Uncle Summerboard.
"Wuz they feeble minded, too. "-Hsdi-
annapolis journal.
"Ha! Back from your vacation P"
"Yes." HIN! Instead of looking
rested you look all tagged out" so
would you if you had been trying to
play the lover to four summer girls. p"