The record-union., 1892-05-24
BRAINS FROM ABROAD.
ltinerant lntelects Interested in In
vestigation.
Editors Of the EfTete East Effect En-.
trance to the Emerald Eden
Of the Earth.

When I monkey with the art preserva-
! tive usually fix things up conspicu-
ously. I believe in having good heads
| on everything from alligators to editors
and editorials. / followed the influx of
editors all day on Friday, having pre-
viously left my pocket book and jewelry
in the background.
AS l anticipated, the delegation l was
with behaved very well while in the
vicinity Of the penitentiary at Folsom.
Our party reluctantly LEFT the town and
the depot-but took the train. The rail-
road company can congratulate itself that
we brought it back. II we could have
done anything else with it, it would be
different.
say it with good deal OF sanctimony,
but l will stick to the statement, that l
| am disappointed III editors as a general
thing.
l tried all the way to Folsom and back
again to Sacramento to get an original
| iQea out of the croWd--or a Jew dollars
and l got neither. If l had had any of
either myself l would have been robbed.
selected the most promising delegate
IN the crowd OF two hundred editors and
sidled up to him the first opportunity {
had. He was fat man and wore his
brains baldheaded and l thought it
would be an easy matter to get at his
ideas, but he Immediately put on his hat
and sat III the middle of the seat.
When the train pulled out Of the depot
the editors who rode on the brakebeanIs
under the cars did SO Of their OWE accord
and from force OF habit, not from any
lack of room in the coaches.
The sensational report that two or three
! editors were lost on the road is uniounded
I am inclined to believe but sorry TO
say.
| 1t may have been owing to the hot
wave, but somehow [ couldn't do any
thing with the history hunters. They are
hard crowd to impress, borrow any
| thing Off or sell anything 10, and, gem
orally speaking, they have acquired SO
much Information that you can't teach
| them anything more.
Whenever the conductor came around
] they made an absent-minded move for
the door, as though 10 evade their car
fare, when in fact it had been fully paid.
This too was evidently from force of habit.
| None of them took drink (in public) ali
the atternoon.
| called the fat editor's attention re-
peatedly to the beautiful country through
which we were passing, but all he would
do was to grunt.
of a statement or opinion about some
thing, bat all he said for an hour was
NOW, is it hCt here in the summer
| timer" and "What is that in the river
that looks like water?'
! told him OF course it wasn't hot, and
that the river was mostly water, but he
wasn't satisfied. | tried to explain that
the miners had to wash some Of the dirt
Off the gold in the mountains, and it
colored the water slightly. He finally
actually intimated that he didn't take
mach stock in my explanations.
| After we arrived at the big American
| River dam L called the obese gentleman's
| attention to the great work, and he looked
! interested for while and finally OBJ
served: II never saw such damned
river" When we went up to the prison
| the editors acted very cautious and hung
around near the doors. Some Of them
| observed that they liked an outside view
of 1t, at distance, but that from the in
side it was monotonous, after the first
few days, and most of them sauntered
away hummIng careless air, but evil
IDENTIFY assuming considerable of it.
| Taking editors all around, they are
| hard to deal with, and spend too much
time thinking with only moderate ability.
| In order to be good editor man has
to write good, plain language that no one
can comprehend. If anyone ever does
| him with a shotgun, half the time he don't
get him-if he does he amt good for any
thing.
AS near as [ could figure them out, the
visitors are around picking up ideas for
theft home papers, and are not figuring
on building up the Pacific slopeat the ex-
pense of their own localities.
Still they know good thing when they
see it, and may suspend their publica-
tions long enough TO move further west
and grow up with a thriving country
that Is, rather free and easy as to moral
| ity. Out here they could have pretty
good chance to branch out and follow
some less industrious business tnan try
| ing TO get out daily papers in monthly
towns.
So far as l am concerned, I would ra-
ther cultivate people with fewer brains
and more bullion-but l am willing to
give everybody a chance. SQUINK.
Ra-l;f1 Con OH Cure