The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1892-01-23
Jesse Barker,
Printer,
Humboldt,
Didn't Know Maggie.

the middle seats of a Western rail
road train, with her elegant belong
ings beside her. r..
At Peterville a long, sallow, Ratchet
faced woman in a green and black
calico dress lounced to the waist and
a yellow sunbonnet lined with pink,
boarded the train, marched down the
aisle past several empty seats and
pumped herself down by the side of
the "blue-blood" lady, carelessly
sweeping that lady's belongings aside
and saying calmly:
III guess I'll set here so as to have
company. Coin fer?"
ITO Denver"
"You air? Where you from?"
Boston"
"Boston! Wei, I do declare! was
born in Yarmouth myself, but I ant
never been back since I left there, 80
year ago the third day ofnext month.
So We air clean from Boston?"
II am" icily.
"Lived there long?"
"All Of my life."
els that so? Borned there?" do
Eyes"
"Well, 1 do declare! Now, I amt a
mite O. doubt but you've some time
OF 0tfer bumped agin a own niece I've
got livin' out in Boston. Mebbe yer
we'll 'ouainted with her. Her names
Maggie Smith, and she's my sister
Sary's youngest. | ant never seen
her, but I've got a photograph of her
and I tell you she ant behind NO one
when it comes to putin on style. An
l tell you she's smart. As smart as
ever they make 'em.
"She's got on a big gold chain and
dress, and she's just style itself. I
reckon like as not you know her.
She's lived there five years, Names
Maggie Smith. Know herr"
II do not, madam"
well, III tell you what you do.
When you 60 back jes hunt Mag up
and tell her you met her Aunt Jimmy
Sipes on the train, and you'll be all
right with Mag after that, for she
thinks a heap of me, and you jest say
jimmy Sipes' to Mag and she'll neigh
Dor with you from that time on.
Lemms see; what street do youliveen
in Boston?"
Beacon street, "-proudly.
"Well, Mag waits on the table in a
restaurant down on the wharf. I'll
bet you've eat there many q time and
seen Mag and never knowed her.
Now, next time you go in there to eat
you ask for Mag Smith and say you're
a friend of her Aunt jimmy and Magll
hug you right there-you see if she
DON'T r.
A Distinction With a Difference.
John B. Fnray was once a postof-
fee Inspector, and on one occasion was
sent down into Louisiana to take
charge of an Office from which the
postmaster had decamped. A fight
arose over the position, says the
Omaha World, during the progress of
which Maj. Furay remained acting
postmaster in the quagmires ofLouis-
lana, devoting all his spare time to
shaking with the orthodox ague, and
the longer the man stayed the more
he shook, and the profane he
waxed. He had been there three
weeks or more when II morning,
while the fog-was arising II ON around
the little postofice, Inspector Furay
sat astride a keg OF buttermilk read
ing Pilgrims Progress "A tall, lean
genus homo ofthe swamp entered. +
A solitary %suspender band held upa
pair Of blue jean pants, a white felt
hat of doubtful g rested on the
mans head, and his feet were incased
in a plir of cowbides redeemed by age.
"Howdy, pard," said the stranger,
addressing the Inspector, ''be you the
federals agent?"
II am the postohce Inspector" re-
piled Maj. Furay without looking up,
as he waded into Paradise Regain
ed
81 am the new postmaster" said
the stranger, rendering his commits.
sion.
"Well, I'll be d--dl' was the only
reply rs the Inspector dropped his
book to the ground and eazed at his
visitor.
YES, sir" continued the stranger,
squirting q m%outhful Of tobacco juice
on the inspectors new trousers. yes,
sir and I've come to be qualified"
Rising to his feet Furay sighed, In
spected his visitor from head to foot,
and exclaimed;
Ny friend, ! am but human. / can
only swear you in. All hi couldn't
qualify you