davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

The readers Of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is ut least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure
III all its stages. and that is Catarrh. Halls
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease. requires a
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
strength by bidding up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing it's work. The
proprietors hive so much faith in its cura-
tive powers, that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that it fails to cure.
Send for lis. of testimonials.
Address, r. J.. CHENEY q Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
THE value of farm product is not always
declining when it's on the Wain.-BOstOn
(onriar
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

find you have the easiest working too
and the worst enemy to weeds you eve,
dreamed of. The cultivator is adjusted
by turning the thumb bolt B, and car
be made to cut deep or shallow, as tho
wheel arms work on a hinge or bolt {;
little ahead of the thumb bolt. 10 ad
just the handle to suit people of certain
heights and to make the cutter rur
level there is slot in the brace at
which will allow the handle to be raised
or lowered and also keep the cutter run
ming level Arthur Booron, in n. E
Homestead.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
FOR UNLOADING HAY.

Diagram Explaining a Practical and Use.
full Farm Device.
A simple arrangement for unloading
hay is shown in the accompanying dia-
gram. One end of the rope is fastened
to the harpoon fork B. A is another
harpoon fork which runs loose on the
rope and allows it to be set in any part
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
ENEMY TO WEEDS.
Homemade Garden Tool Which Doe,
Its Work Well.

Homemade Garden Tool Which Doe,
Its Work Well.
For easy, fast and thorough work
the garden tool shown in the cut, which
! made myself. IS far ahead of anything
| have seen. 1t leaves the ground per
fectly smooth and every weed, large O,
small, is cut off and left on top of the
ground to wilt and wither, and not
partly buried so that some of them car
start to grow again. The cutting blade
a was made of piece of cross cut saw
and by making just right will not clog
1t is 9 inches wide on the back edge
and inches from the front point to the
back. 1t must be filed with quite q
bevel and good edge, and all on one side
of cutting edge. When putting it or
the cultivator be sure and set the beve
edge up so it will hold to the ground
also get the cutter SO it will run per
fe,tly level in the ground. You will
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
A PHILOSOPHER.


He Was Cheerful Under Depressing Cir
cumstances.
had been riding since early morning
in a nasty, cold drizzle and was swear
ing at the luck in all the languages
my command, Notwithstanding l was
warmly clad and had big macintosh
Along about ) o'clock the rain began to
pour down in long strings of water that
seems to be continuous to the clouds,
and my temper grew proportionately
ugly. While wa S growing at my fate
heard a merry whistle ahead as if
someone were turning off music at high
prices, and it made me mad all over, the
music seemed to he so good-natured.
hit my horse a cut and dashed around q
turn in the road and then 1 found
man with a yoke of cattle, fording a
muddy stream and moving along at the
rate of about mile an hour. He was
half way to his knees in the water, the
rain was running off his SLOUGH hat in
trickles front, back and sides, and h.
was soaking wet all over
''How are you?' said as h, rode bv.
'How d'y'?'' he replied, shutting off
the whistle.
''What kind of blamed day do you
call this, anyhow, in your region?" l
asked. still ugly.
swell, hain't called it at all yet" he
said with smile that actually hal sun.
shine in it.
Its COMPOUNDED wet, isn't it?'
"Wel, yes, mister and he smiled
again. 1--WE had an idee the dew v w
fallin' some in the last few minutes"
AS l went on he began to whistle
again and l began to feel ashamed OF
myself.-Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
ONE ENJOYS

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn edectual!y, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug,
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro.
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
! substitute.
CALIFORNIA EIG SYRUP co!
SAW FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. Nfw YoRx: Mx
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

Turned Completely Topsy-Turvy
BY the malicious sprile, dyspepsia the stom
ach may still regain its accustomed order
and equilibrium by the use Of Hostettcr'
Stomach Bitters. Heartburn, wind on the
stomach, sour eructatio ions, nervous annoy
ance and disturbed rest, all indicative o.
chronic indigestion. are obviated by it. II
is unparalleled for malaria, constipation, bill
iousrcss, rheumatism and la grippe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

lis Nine. Squallini q really first
class singer?' II think not. l never
saw her name among tho soap testi'
monials. "--Eunny FolkA
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
She Got the Gasses Ready

Mistress Ito new housemaid, fresh
from the country)-Now, see, Mary,
this is the way to light the gas. You
turn this little tap, so, and then apply
the match, so. You understand?
eyes, ma'am; quite, ma'am."
Mistress next morning)-Why. what
horrible smell of gas! Where can it
come from? We shall all be suffocated!
New Housemaid with much pride)-
Please ma'am, what shall l do next:
I've made all the beds and busted the
room and turned on all the gases ready
toa the niaht. and---@ Boston Globe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

RHEUMATIC Pains are greatly relieved by
Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
HIPS Hair and Whisher Dye, 50 cents.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

An after-dinner speech: "Check, please y
Union County Standard
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
The Only One Ever printed-Can You Find


There is a 3 inch display advertisement
in this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true of each new one appearing each week,
from The Dr. Harter Medicine Co. This
house Places a "Cresccnt' on everything
they make and publish. Look for it. send
return you book, beautiful autographs or
samples free
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
7 OF oe9AeN

IF the load. The rope then passes
through the stationary pulley c, the
movable pulley G and the stationary
pulleys D and E to be ATTACKED to the
horse or oxen. The pulley e may be
set to the right or left a. may Ire 70
quirod.--Fsrm and Home.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

SICK HEADACHE. lassitude, weakness and
Immediately cured by Beecha.n's Pills.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

A LAME defense may be very effective il
it's in the case OF a man who uses a Crutch
for weapon.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

The Puritans were not spectators, and
yet they frequently invested in stocks.
THE Rams Horn is published at Indian
apotis, Indiana, at 81 80 per year.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

For a man to be efficient, like cable car
he mustn't lose his grip.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

ibid you like to 60 to Sunday
school?' asked Uncle George of little
Tommy. Eyes: an dey sang about two
funny little chi!drcn.'' 'Who were
they?" CHERRY BIN and Sary FINN. ("
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16

WHAT parts of speech are shopkeepers
most anxious 10 sell! Articles.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-06-16
Trademark Case.
800 Reward 300.

THE first time a boy gets ten miles away
from home he thinks the world is a whop
Der-Ram's Horn.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10


MY heart is like the swallow. When winter
scours the plain,
IL scars co seek the golden shores Of Southern
seas again,
nc longs to live where myrtles bloom, and
roses never die,
And where the sungod like king walks DER
the azure sky.
Oh, there tho heavens wear no clouds. no
darkening shadows sweep
The sloping headlands of the bay, the crystal
of the deep;
AMI birds are gay the whole year through,
singing from elm and palm;
And, rich with myrrh and frankincense, the
air is sweet as balm.
Oh, would go on eager wings and seek that
fairyland,
And like a child once more I'd build my
castles in the sand;
I'd quaff of fancys magic bowl and dream
the dreams again
That once were mine 10 by-gone days. with
in the groves of Spain.
There life will grow as bright and glad as
youth was wont to be,
And joy and bliss will bless my home beside
Southern sea,
Where all my well-loved myrtles bloom, my
roses never die
And sunshine gilds eternally the azure Of
the sky
Eugene Davis. in Boston Transcript.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

Life consists Of series Of changes Of
tissue, and the human economy is
simply, as far as its material part Is
concerned, machine, and primarily
depends on food as the most important
factor in keeping it in working order.
When it is said that we commence to
die as soon as we are born, 1T, of course,
means that certain parts of the body i'm
mediately begin to perish; their exist
ence 10 ephemeral; they come, go, are
replenished and decay. They are tho
dying parts of that system Of life which
may last little while but which must
eventually yield to the inexorable laws
OF nature. The nails, the hair, ctc., are
observable as an instance of decay. The
same rule applies to every other organ
and tissue of the body, though it is not
palpable to the naked eye. The skin is
always peeling. The food that is taken
in the one hour nourishes the system,
and elects what was taken the hour be-
fore. New York Advertiser.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
A Stylish Corpse.

ssShe was the most stylish corpse" we
heard woman remark the other day,
in speaking of leader of fashion lately
deceased, and prompted by curiosity we
inquired what went to make up q
ssstylish corpse" Oh" replied the
gusher, with no hesitation, ssshe wore
black velvet gown with point lace trim
mings, had her eyebrows penciled and
cheeks and lips rouged, besides having
her hair done in the most delightful
fashion possible. Positively to be such
beautiful corpse was worth dying for"
To our prcsaic mind the solemnity Of
death seemed TO have been robbed of all
its grandeur and force by the artificial
trappings and adornment Of the com
plexion specialist, yet in this age of fads
the time is not far of when just such
caprices may be expected, for if fashion
sets the pace there will be, besides
other modish follies, fads in funerals
that will probably be even more ridicu-
lous than the others. Philadelphia
Times
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

Young eels, in passing up river
show the most extraordinary persever-
ance in overcoming all distractions. The
large food gates sometimes fifteen feet
in leighton the Thames might be sup.
posed sufficient to bar the progress Of
fish the size Of darning needle. But
young eels have wholesome idea that
nothing can stop them; and in conse-
quence, nothing does. Speaking OF the
way in which they ascend food gates
and other barriers, one writer says:
"Those which did stick to the post;
others, which get little higher, meet
with the same fate, until at last layer
OF them is formed which enables the rest
to overcome the difficulty Of the passage.
The mortality resulting from such for
lorn hopes greatly helps to account for
the difference in the number of young
eels on their upward migration, and that
Of those which return down stream IN
the autumn. In some places these baby
eels are much sought after, and are
formed into cakes, which are eaten fried.
Eels spawn like other fishes. For
long, however, the most remarkable
theories were held as to their birth. One
of the old beliefs was that they sprang
from mud; arrival theory held that young
eels developed from fragments separated
from their parents bodies by the rubbing
against rocks. One old author not only
declared that they came from May dew,
but gave the following recipe for pro-
ducing them: sCut up two turfs covered
with May dew and lay them one upon
the other, the grassy sides inward, and
then expose them to the heat OF the sun.
In few hours there will spring from
them an infinite quantity of eels.'
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

In London. century ago, it was no
uncommon practice on the part OF the
.sswells" to drink bumpers to the health
of lady out of her shoe. The Earl Of
Cork relates an incident of this kind,
and, to carry the compliment still fur
ther. he states that the shoe was ordered
to be dressed and served up for supper.
ssThe cook set himself seriously to
work upon it; he pulled the upper part
(Which was of fine damask) into fine
shreds, and tossed it up into ragout,
minced the sole, cut the wooden heel
into thin slices, fried them in batter and
placed them round the dish for gar nish.
The company testified their affection for
the lady by eating heartily Of this ex-
quisite impromptu.' New York World.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
MERELY GIVE HIM TIME.

In case which was being tried the
other day in Vienna law court cab
man who drove one-horse chariot was
called as witness. To test the trust
worthiness of the evidence he was about
to give he was asked by the Judge if he
had ever been punished for any misde-
meanor.
Witness--ssI was only punished once,
many years ago. and that was when l
was detained by the police for twenty
four hours"
The Judge--.tYou have never been
sentenced to any term of imprisonment
by judge for any serious breach of the
law2
Witness--ssC ssCertainly not, my lord
The Judge Shaking his head)--"A
cabmanl And never been prosecutedf
How long have you been cabmana"
Witness -ssSince the day before yester-
day."
The Judge (smiling)--"Ahl That
will do. Let the case proceed. Lon
don News.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

matched these stones one by one- NO
one has known of them until now. They
are for Richards wifel"
And so, with diamond necklace
sparkling around her neck like tiny
rivulet Of light, Paulina was married.
Down in the pretty, unpretending
little dining the table was set
with service of rare Haviland ware,
decorated with deep blue corn flowers
and borders of dull gold.
"Oh," cried Paulina, rapturously,
sswhat beauties !"
.sEh2"said the bridegroom. "Where
did these come froma"
ssOut of the Pound Sweet barrel,
said Cousin Higgins, rubbing his hands.
tThey're my gift, children. I've a lit
tie money, and I choose to invest it SO.
I knew Polly liked nice china-all
women dol And I'm glad you're pleased,
Polly. You've done kind deed to the
stupid old cousin from the country"
stOhl" murmured Paulina, "did ever
bride have SO happy wedding day be-
fore7"
ibid ever man have so sweet bridea"
pleyfully retorted Richard, STOPPING to
kiss her brow.
"Well," said Mary Nellis, afterward,
in describing the affair to the Miss
Falklands, ssthere hasn't been marriage
this season that has made such sensa
ton as Polly Winton's. All the papers
took it up and echoed it from one side
OF the continent to the other; every one
was talking of it. Polly has sent the
diamonds to the bank for safe keeping
until, as she says, she can 'live up to
them.' But they're using the beautiful
china every day. And old Aunt Eunice
is rich, after all; and Cousin Higgins has
gone back to the farm where the big
apples grow. Oh, you never heard such
romance in your life! Mrs. Richard
Graham is quite the fashion now, and
the Ellingtons are SO angry to think they
didn't 60 to the wedding. OF course
Polly has struck them off her visiting
list. She says she shall visit none but her
very dear friends"
ssPaulina was always eccentric, +" said
Miss Falkland. Saturday Night.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
How He Saved His Neck.

s'The much-admired gift OF extempo-
raneous speaking is disappearing, /" said
Professor Williamson, Of Texas. sin
this connection the ordinary after-dinner
platitudes occupying five or ten minutes,
which seem like five or ten hours, are
not meant. I have reference to speech
of an hour or longer. It is almost i'm
possible nowadays to hear speaker
make speech of any length that is
really extemporaneous Perhaps such
speeches never were as entirely spon-
taneous as was claimed, but they were
more SO than the so-calIed extempo-
raneous speeches we hear nowadays.
ssI remember hearing one speech in
my life that I am satisfied was delivered
without preparation, however, aud it
was an eloquent one, too. It was in
California in 40. We were busy at
work, crowd of US, getting out gold,
and one night two brothers named
Burke-popular fellows-lost every
ounce of their dust. Some thief had
crept into the tent and stolen it. Sus-
picion fell at once, and without any
reason, on an Englishman in the crowd,
who had held himself aloof from every
one. A search of his tent found more
dust than it seemed reasonable for him
to have accumulated, and he was at once
taken to tree with rope around his
neck and given fifteen minntes to pray.
The fifteen minutes reached an hour and
half, and such flow of eloquence
upon the subject of circumstantial
evidence, have never heard before or
since. Its power may be imagined when
tell you that the crowd in that country
and in that day was influenced to change
the verdict of capital punishment to
banishment and confscation of his prop
erty. He walked down to Frisco ana
took job as bartender. A month after
we found that the cook we had in camp
was the thief, and, after stringing him up,
l was sent to hunt up the Englishman and
turn his property back to him. bis name
was Rivers, and he was varsity man in
England and senior wrangler, I found
when met him. He had pile of sew
eral thousand dollars, and went straight
to England. never heard of him after
wards, but I will never forget that elo-
quent and extemporaneous address. =
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
STE ENJOYED THE DEBATE.

Her Father (interestedly) )--"And you
really enjoy your society for the higher
culture of women2"
Minnie Enthusiastically y)--''Indeed I
do, immensely"
Her Father-"Wha was the subject
yesterday, for instance2"
Minnie (reaectively)z-"Oh, yesterday
Let me see. think the question for
debate was something about some sub
ject that some professor has been lectur-
ing on somewhere, but up in one corner
we talked about those new hats with the
funny crowns. Judge.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
HER COOP AND HIS eooD.

eyes, Bobby" said young Featherly,
81 am going abroad for little trip"
ssAre you going for your hcalthQ" in
quired Bobby, with solicitude.
swell, not altogether tor health, al
though I shall derive some benefit, NO
doubt"
s.Sister Clara hopes you will"
81 say, Bobby" whispered Featherly,
ibid your sister say that she hoped my
trip would do me gooda"
Eyes; she told me last night that if
Mr.. Featherly went abroad she hoped he
would go for good"
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
PEN AND VOICE.

Philantbropist-sI am exerting my
self in behalf of worthy object, and
my first thought was to come to you for
assistance"
Scribe. the Writer--"Well, sir, am
willing to assist by tongue or pen."
Philanthropist "We would be
pleased to have you use your pen in our
aid"
Scribe (fattered) d)-"My services are
at your command"
Philanthropist-tThauk you, sir.
Now, please get your pen and afix your
signature to this subscription paper, and
you can pay the ten dollars at your con-
venience."
Scribe Tin changed tone)--"Ohi'--
Yankee Blade.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

Thomas G. Hodgkins, OF Setauket, n.
Y, has given $50, 200 to the Societies
for the Prevention of Cruelty to An
finals of New York and Brooklyn, and
the same amount to the Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Children. He
has also given $100, 900 to the Royal In
stitution OF Great Britain. Mr.. Hodg-
kins, who is over ninety years of age, il
in verv feeble health.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10

tors, together with tons of scenery and
sixteen actors"
az don't see what you want with
actors if you have that layout, said the
listener, trying to be sarcastic.
ssDon't, hey?" asked the agent, in
dignantIy. .sWhat do you suppose we
feed the animals in towns where meat Is
scarce2"-Buffaio Express.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
FULL OF IT.

Wife-"You can go home, Henry. !
want to call in here and see Mrs. Chin
ner."
Husband--"B you called there only
yesterday"
Wife-"Yes, but ! want to hear the
news"
Husband -"Surely nothing particular
eau have happened since yesterday,
Mary" 5
Wife--"Bless you'll this is sewing cir
Gle day, and she has just got home. -
New York Press.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
A Mammoth Comp otition.

$500 in prizes for the best seven stories was
what The Youths Companion offered: 5000 for
the best Serials and $500 for the best Folk k-lore
tales. No less than 1868 stories competed for
these prizes The successful stories are Just an-
BY sending rs at once you Will obtain the
paper FREE to Jan. and for full year, TO jan W.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
SHE READ THE ADVERTISEMENTS.

SHE READ THE ADVERTISEMENTS.
Young Housewife-'Any liver to-
day, Mr.. Bonesa"
Butcher-"Yes, madam. !"
Y. H.-"Then I'll take ten pounds;
but please see that it is not that
wretched, torpid kind, which the doc
tors say is the cause of so much dis
ease.-Joseph Bannister in Raymond's.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
ENTHUSIASTIC CIRCUS AGENT.

"We've got the greatest show on the
stage to-day" said the advance agent.
ssRealistic2 Bet your neck. There's
nothing in it with US. We carry seven
tigers, four lions and two boa coustric-
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
ONE KISS MORE.

ia.5by Cat the breakfast table)-
ssMaud. did Mr.. Jones take any Of the
umbrellas or hats from the hall last
nighta"
Maud--"Why, of course not; why
should he, Bobby2"
Bobby That's just what I'd like to
know. I thought he did, because /
heard him say when he was going out,
I'm going to steal just one, and
Why, what's the matter, Mauds"-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
POSITIVE AND COMPARATIVE.

POSITIVE AND COMPARATIVE.
"Hello, Johnny, what are you doing
away from your lessonsa" asked his little
sister.
s.I gave mamma the Slip"
ssWell, she's going to get more than
even. I just heard her say she was 60
ing to give you the slipper. Washing
ton Star.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
Have You Asthma Z

Dr. r. Schiffmann, st. Paul, Mimi, will mail
q trial package of Schiffmann's Asthme Cure
free to any sufferer. Gives instant relief in
worst cases. and cures where others fail
Name this paper and send address,.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
SAVED FROM rHE CRUEL WORLD.

SAVED FROM THE CRUEL WORLD.
ssMiss Clives,' said young Lord
George Fist Herbert, 81 feel the need
of a wife. Don't you think it would be
fob my good if you we're to marwy me
now9"
ssYes, Sir George" replied Miss
Gives. ssIf any one needs protector
/ think you do."-Chicago News Rec
ord.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-10
roo GOOD PrcKrNa.

Elder Berry-.I had long talk to-
day with a pickpocket. He said he
would reform little later, but couldn't
think of it just now"
Mrs. Berry - stWhat is he waiting
for2"
Elder Berry-'sFor chatelaine watches
to go out. Puck.