The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-06-01

JapSOn says Une reason GnaG WOMAN
talks so much is because she suffers in
silence.-Elanira Gazette.
Faith" was describedIby;an Ohio boy
as "expectin' something ye ain goin'
to get. Columbus Post.
Tastes differ. Some people can see
beauty even in looking-glass; others
cannot.-BoSto1a Transcript.
When you are betting on an abso-
lutely sure thing save out five cents
for car fare home.-BoSton Post.
Man is not merely the architect of
his own fortune, but he must lay the
bricks himself. tt GalUesto1a Nea0S.
~The girl you were speaking to,
Jack, seemed rather cold to YOU"
"Yes; she's an old flame. IN YPreSS.
1t must not be supposed that a wo-
man is out of temper because she
moves about with a bang.-BoSto'a Ga
zette.
Astronomers have failed to direct at
tention to the fact that the fuller the
moon is the later she's out nights
Binghanaton Leader.
A miss is as good as mile. This is
probably why a man doesn't feel the
distance when he's got nice girl with
him. -Binghanaton Leader.
"You are the world to me" he whis-
pered. "All right" she answered.
"You can be the sun. I'm going to
marry your father. IN Y Herald.
Mr.. veripoore-"I am drunk with
love of you, dearest one." Miss Veri-
rich-"So? And you want to try the
good old cure, do youP"-Detroit Free
Press.
Jagson says that & wise man and a
fool often talk so much alike that he
can't tell which is the wise man until
one of them stops talking. g.-EtnatrG
Gazette.
Tillinghast-"I think can get you
situation as a government chemist.
Winebiddle-"Why, l never analysed
any baking-powder in my life" DE
troit Free Press.
Jess-"Did you know Harry's father
was a congressman" Bess-"No; he
never mentioned it; but l surmised
there was skeleton in the family
closet."-N. Y. Herald.
First Wakeful Gin sleeping-car)-
"What's that old rooster coughing SO
violent about?" Second Wakeful-
"He's sucked pillow down his wind
pipe, presume. TRUTH.
"You say you recollect the last words
of the deceased?" asked the coroner.
"Yaas. He jist said: that amt the
way heard that story when he got
plugged. ."-Indid1aapolts Journal.
$50 the Marquis gave you those
flowers" "Yes; and o, Maud, he act
ually said life without me meant moth
ing" "Yes, dear; everybody says you
"I do wish," said Rastus, scratching
his head, thoughtfully, Il do wish dat
wizzid Edison would invent sort O.
eow-catcher for de reah eend O. dem
animiles called de mule. ."-Hdrper's
BGzGr.
Citizen-"Is that the best story you
can get up-that old starving-family
chestnut" Hungry Higgins-"Y Yessir.
I'm so hard up that even my imagin-
alton is sufferin' poverty Indianapolis
Journal.
He-"Why doesn't Miss Nubbles
come on deck and be wooed by the
wouldn't let her. She heard the cap
tain say this was a trade wind. Fun
ssy Folks.
If husbands would only be the same
at home as elsewhere! There's Short
put, for example; on the street he is a
leading bull, but at home, so his wife
says, he is regular bear.-Bost0n
Transcript.
The man who journeys through this
world with his eyes open will learr
things every day for nothing thai
other people have had to go withou
butter on their bread to find out
RAMS Horn.
Giles-"He must have felt fattereC
to learn that all his friends asked afte
him while he was away" Merritt"
don't know that he did. You see the.
all asked if he wasn't taking the gol'
cure" Life.
Professor Occurring on galvanism
-"What would be the effect, Mr.
Broken, if you should hold a quantit.
of gold in one hand and of silver in tn
otherP" Broken-"I should experience
a decided shock. ~ Yale Record.
@That was quite little joke 0
mine," he said with enthusiasm just af
mot. Did you see itP" 90, yes" she
answered wearily. al saw it last weel
in newspaper. y Washington Star.
Upstart-"I have made up my mint
to become journalist. What kind o
paper would you advise me to go tt
work withp" Gruffy-"Well, I thinl
you are best fitted to work with
piece of sand paper. ."-Boston Courier
doesn't Mrs. Maxwell believe in &C
education of the sexes?" "Coeduca
tionP should say not! Why, she be
lieves that a girl ought to be raised s
carefully that when she sees man sh
will say: What is that, mammaP"-
Brooklyn Life.
"Have a cigawette, Cholly, OF fell?
"Nevah use them, deah boy, and II
weally SURPRISED that you have tha
weakness!" "Weakness? I'll hav
you to know, then, that it takes
pwetty stwong chap to stand Gigs
wettes!"-PucE.
Mother-"You haven't cleaned you
teeth this morning." Small boy-"Dl
Pullem says the time to clean teeth
at night" Mother-"But you neve
clean them at night" Small boy
"No'm. DR.. Fillem says the, best tim
is in the morning. ."-Good Meas.
She-"I haven't seen you for fiy
years, Mr.. Baker. HoW's that litt
romance of yours with Miss Hende
sonP" Baker-"Miss Henderson is L
more" She-"What! Dead?" Baker
"No; married" She-"Ha! ha! Yo
are still friends, thought" Baker
"No; she married me."-LJe's Calel
ddr.
Humorist-"Greathe rather con
plimented me yesterday" Scisso1
man-"In what wayP" Humorist-'
told joke and he said, I've heal
worse things than that" Scissors ma
Eyes, but you must remember th
he has been great traveller and h;
probably heard some mighty pot
things.-N Y. Press.
Mrs. Pugh-"Oh, yes; just becau'
it is little dam out, you won't go
church. The pouring rain didn't kee
you home from the theater the 9th
night" Mr.Pugh-"If l had RENAME
home from the theater the other nigl
Iwould have lost the 81 paid for tt