Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-02-26
WHY HE AVOIDED THEM.
A Clever Young Man Demonstrated the
KIN of Talk Girls Like Best.

N ~kctST JUN V1hA III
Kind of Talk Girls Like Best.
"Why don't you talk to young ladies as
though you regarded them as rational
creatures. instead of treating them as
though they cared for nothing but silly
compliments or trivial personalities"
asked my dear old aunt as l stood near her
at Mrs. Meanwell's tea. REALLY. it is an
absolute insult to a clever girls intelli-
gence to prattle the sort of stuff l heard
you pouring forth just now. Why don't
don't you"-
"WhyT"
Eyes, whyT"
would you really like to know, most
sensible and benevolent of r%elativesP You
yourself in such a position as to overhear
the sweet voice of yonder vision of tailor
made perfection seated near the window.
By the way, will she do?"
"The bright looking girl in gray from
whom Mrs. Meanwell has just torn young
Fadly?"
"The same-Miss Newdollar, l think"
"Excellently, indeed; 1 should say you
could make no better choice"
The change Of base was speedily effected,
GSAAA "AOA - oSSALAAA6AJ Gig OoSSu LII q
fine collection of autographs but a yard or
two away, l leaned more or less gracefully
above the trim form of my victim.
II came across such an odd theory in
an English magazine this morning. The
author finds a close connection between
sunspots and financial crises, and traces a
direct correspondence between the number
of spots and the number of failures in
London, each reaching a maximum every
ten years."
How funny. Excuse me, but who is
that tall, military looking man with the
decoration in his buttonhole? I am sure
you can tell me; you know everybody"
"That is Colonel Pompinickle, of the
Austrian legation. And speaking of Aus
tria, it is said that thousands of persons
in the southern districts will starve because
of the failure Of the rye CROP"
"Poor things! how can they eat such
horrid, sour stuff? l should think they
would rather get along on beef and pota-
toes and such things than to starve. Who
is that horrid little dowdy thing talking to
Mrs. Meanwell?"
"That is Miss Skylark, who has spent
her life nursing the sick and wounded in
military hospitals"
"How nice of her. But why does she
wear her hair in that awfully unbecoming
knob? Isn't it close in these rooms?"
"Quite SO. Have you heard that DR.. Nc.
Donald claims to have discovered the in
sanity microbe, and intends inoculating
young ladies and gentlemen for imbecil-
ityg"
II beg pardon. What were you saying?
Oh, yes, something about animalculi. |
saw some once in a drop of water at Il
s~tereoptican entertainment. Horrid.things!
/ refused to drink any for ever so long after.
Won't you be a dear, kind fellow and in
troduce the colonel to me? That awful
DR.. Bigwitz is boring him dreadfully, l
feel certain, and he's been glancing toward
me ever since you've been talking. | am
sure he is just dying to make my acquaint-
ance. and besides / know that he is suffer.
ing. DR.. Bigwitz nearly talked me to
death once about science and things. Will
you? Oh, you always are so ~obliging."
"Well, auntie, do you know why now?"
l whispered, as I helped the dear old lady
into her coupe. There was an expression
of sympathy and commiseration in her
kindly gray eyes which was an ample re-
"But tell me, what did Miss Newdollar
say to the colonel when I left them to-
gether?"
"You are not oversensitive9"
Not the least in the world"
'Well she breathed a deep sigh, a sigh
of relief, and said: oh, colonel, you have
saved me from a dreadful fate. Do you
know that young man whom 1 have never
injured must have sworn a dreadful oath
to bore me into an untimely gravel'"-
George Kyle in Kate Fields Washington.