The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1892-04-14

But dared not show any signs OF not
knowing my business, and assuming an
'all right" manner, told my cloak
man that on the next day the bird would
be trapped, as it always took while to
make observations and form theories, and
then arranged TO meet him on the floor
early in the coming morning before any
of the employees arrived.
Before went to sleep that night
laid my plans.
In the morning bright and carly l wa,
around and with the manager alone wedt
on the cloak floor to make the needful pre-
parations to distinguish or extinguish
myself.
Selecting one of the largest dummies
and seeing that the brown muslin dress
over its skeleton frame was in good or.
der an I reached to the floor, told my
astonishcd dry goods man that intended
to hide under it and there lie in wait for
the thief, whom meant to nab when the
cloak over me was removed, being, OF
course, able to know that by the light of
the salcsroom shining through the thin
muslin covering.
He smiled at the queeruess of the pro-
ceeding, but told me to go ahead aud
promised TO be on hand IN case wanted
assistance.
Putting on the dummy an elegant
cloak for bait, he helped the to hide Sc
curely under it, aud, wishing me success
he left me with laugh which, | must
say, didn't feel like ochoing.
n Al.
ing in and the young salcsladies trip
ping by me and chatting gaily as they laid
aside their wraps and hats preparatory
to commencing the labors OF the day.
They seemed immensely merry over
something very funny, aud their peals of
musical laughter sounded sweet to my
eager ears until, alas, | sadly discovered
that /, the new floor walker, was the sub
jcct of their witticisms and ridicule.
How wanted to suddenly pop ont
from my ignoble hiding place and
sQuelch them as they deserved, but tho
certainty of only making myself moro
ridiculous and being met with rcdoubled
laughter kept me in my mean and un-
happy position-under female skirt.
by and by, and greatly to my minds
relief, the smart remarks followed by
peals Of merriment gave way to the sober
hum and hustle OF business.
For hours sat IN my Cramped and uu-
comfortable hiding place, feeling like u
fool, and, no doubt, looking like one.
Crafty excited shoppers brushed against
the dummy, beneath which a bigger
dummy squattcd, aud several times nearly
knocked 1t over, so had plenty of oc
cupation in holding it down. Once the
cold sweat cane out all over me aud my
hair stood up straight when some one
tried to lift my strange tent FROM the
floor and expose the "handsome new
floor walker" squatting like a tailor, and
looking like boiled lobster under it.
You may believe held on with q grip
which death itself couldn't unclasp till
the danger was gone.
Noon time came, Hungry, thi, ,sy'
rde,d and with bones aching from cramp,
there l was aud there had to stick till
night or my anxiously hoped for shop
litter came-if that was her day.
heard the clock strike "2" and 49,"
and 81" and in spite of patience and
grit, and pride, and everything, swore
at myself and laughed at myself, and
vowed to myself that never more would
| undertake to be smarter than n woman.
lIenceforth should contine my detective
abilities exclusively to male "Jack the
Rippers" or ban< cashiers, or else peddle
peanuts for living.
While thus engaged in sorrowful
meditations and trying painfully to ease
my cramped body without exciting at
tention, was aroused by some one tug.
ging at the cloak, and lifting the
dummy skirt l could just see pair Of
dainty feet. Then, in an instant, oil the
cloak slipped-the dim light shining
through the dummy's muslin covering
telling me-and, like fash, l sprung
from my hiding hole and-of all tho
shrieks and bushes and indignation |
ever knew, those from the elegantly
dressed aud exquisitelY beautiful young
lady had captured took the prize.
At once | was the centre of panic
stricken and terribly angry mob Of
females who wanted to kill me, and toss
what was left of my miserable carcass
out the window. Aud if the big, de-
partment manager had not promptly
rescued me from their clutches, after my
coat tails had been ripped off and my
fine side whiskers badly damaged, they'd
have done it.
During the battle, and careless of my
injuries, l kept tight hold of my fair
prisoner.
Her sweet, innocent and beautiful in.
dignation seemed so real that feared an
awful mistake had been made, and be-
gan to figure how many years salary l
should have to pay for damages. But
when she was searched, with due apollo
gies for the apparent necessity, the
amount OF pawn tickets for cloaks
found by the female searcher, saved my
bacon and put me in the papers as one