Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-04-24
CHEsTERFIELDs AT HOME
Octave Thanet Thinks tho Table Good
Place to Cultivate Courtesy.
WRITTEN roR THY nYspArcr,


WRITTEN FOR THE pIsPArcE.I
Any one who has ever visited familiarly
in French family will remember the de-
lightful atmosphere of a hsbitual and
caressing politeness that seems to encircle
the family life. I have the honor to know
an American family who have the same po-
llteness translated into our different manner
and life. The Chesterfelds are not es-
pecially clever or rich or entertaining; but it
is a Joy to visit them, because they are SO
polite.
They are polite to each other and to the
stranger within their gates, and Mrs. Ches-
terfeld's maids declare that Mrs. Chester
field is as polite in the kitchen as in the
parlor. Their habitusl, spontaneous, lovely
courtesy is never-failing talisman to at
tract
iwonder how it is that more people do
not cultivate courtesy. It can be culti-
vated as much as a mustache or the habit Of
smokingl do not know better place to
begin about the cultivation of these fruit
full graces than our meal times. In how
many American families is the family meal
q time for feeding in the first place and
fault-fnding in the second? There is moth
ing morally wrong about eating-unless one
eat too much; but it is not in itself beauti-
full act, it needs to be embellished with good
temper and dainty service and pleasant
talk. If the Chesterfelds cannot praise,
they say nothing. And have been told
bv no less authority than the second girl"
of the Chesterfelds that they never, as
Marie expressed it, 'talk about the
victuals." II anything Is good, or is made
by Mamma Chesterfield, her husband, who
10 still her lover, praises it; and generally
on the Chesterfelds' table there Is plenty
to praise. The Chesterfelds are not cele-
brated as wits, but somehow we laugh q
great deal at their feasts and the talk never
laga For one thing, each talker Is made
to feel that he interests the others
Why, indeed, should we not make our
meals seasons of enjoyment to something
higher than our palates? Many families
who do not find fault are content to eat in
silence, having not much more than the
dumb enjoyment of companionship felt by
the beasts when they feed at the same
manger. Breakfast takes the palm for un-
sociability.
In the minor points of etiquette 1t is
good plan to have decided views about the
fork. The minds of most people wobble
good deal in regard to this indispensable
article. I do not mean that they would offer
the knife as substitute, although I have
seen German nobleman, who had won the
iron cross and whose manners were of the
finest, eat proudly and freely with his
knife; but even among those who are
there is a distinct uncertainty during GER
tain courses They start boldly with the
fork in the right hand and shift, occasion
tempting, to the left, like Howell's country
hero who dimes for the first time in Boston,
and watches the guests uncertainty and
shifts his fork from one hand to the other
as his mind veers.
If you start with your fork in either hand,
no matter which, it gives you a superiority
to cling to that hand to the bitter end.
There is a general suspicion of elegance at
tached to eating with ones unsupported
fork, rather than with the knife and fork to-
gether. In salads, for instance, the knife is
considered q superfuity; one must shred
ones lettuce or endive with the fork, and |
crust of bread or tiny biscuit allowed one. I
find this general rule obtains, the more in |
the more ELEGANT! But there is |
one exception, the English, and in conse- |
quence our admirers Of the English always |
eats fish in the most sensible way, with q |
knife and fork.
In the family circle the different dishes
should be passed to the Oldest woman, in
most cases But if there is a very honored |
elderly man in a family Of women it is al
ways delicate attention to pass to him
first. Sometimes the head of the table does
not desire to be interrupted. and the person Of
next consideration in this case should be
served first The most honored guest is
served first. The gentleman of distinction
takes out his hostess and sits at her right
hand-or, if you follow the English fashion,
1t her left-and the lady to be compli-
nented is taken by the host ami similarly
placed. Everything is passed first to the
honored guest.
In American households know nothing
hat goes further to make the meals uncom-
Portable than the uproarious liberty allowed
Toung children. Let the young savages be
.aught to eat before they come to the table
cannot but feel toward children at meal
lines very much as the little boy in the
lark felt toward the Lord Being assured
hat he ought not to be frightened when put
20 bed, because God was in the dark, he
made answer with a wall, 81 know that,
,ut be amt no company for me-"
OCTAVE THANET.