Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-12-01

be confronted BY some heartless mocker
who wn"ld Shrek with laughter over
her disastrous dinner, and SO she called
her husband. That brave man with a
severe face went To the door and opened
it. and fairly shook with ra and won
der. W hat manner of refined insult was
this?
Standing before him, smiling as bland
ly as though they had never grievously
and wantonly wounded him to the quick,
were the men and women he had in
sited TO his Thanksgiving dinner! There
was the doctor. fairly bubbling over
with rairth and good humor; and the
sweet singer. with roll of music under
his arm; and the editor Of The Gazette,
pompous in the knowledge that he, and
he only. was the author OF that sublime
article, "Whither Are We Drifting?'
and their wives were with them, and the
other men who had been invited were
there with their wives! 1t was evidently
conspiracy to humble and crush and
wreck the life of Theophilus Wardwell.
For moment he seemed disposed to
slam the door in their faces, but he
arrested the motion of his arm. Then it
looked as though he would turn loose
the simoom of his wrath, but the words
died on his lips, and he ended by iuvit-
ing them all To walk in, smiling sar-
donicallv, and every one knew that
some one had blundered" He led the
procession into the parlor and then call
ed his wife, who joined him in maze
of bewlldermcnt. And when the guests
were all seated. equally stupefied with
wonder, Mr. Wardwell faced them and
said, with magnificent sarcasm:
"Ah! And SO YOU have come in re-
sponse to my invitation? regret to say
that you h We come too late to partake
of my turkey or pie. but you have come
in time to teach me a valuable lesson.
After this. when want my friends to
call on me on New Years, I'll ask them
to come on Christmas; if desire to see
them on the Fourth Of July, I'll ask
them to visit me on Easter Sunday, and
when | want gathering on Thauksgiv
ing day I'll specify George Washing
tons birthday as the date for the assem-
blage.
''This is Thursday, ladies and gentle
men. Well, last Friday Mrs. Wardwell
and | had somewhat wholesome repast
prepared for you all, and we waited and
waited for your coming until our hearts
ached with disappointment, but we
should have been patient, see; we were
altogether too hasty. II we had only
waited six days longer, you would have
been with us. A trifie like six days
would have caused us no inconvenience
whatever, but we were so thoughtless.
Mr.. Wardwell paused for breath, and
the professor took advantage of the lull
to say:
"There is some gross misunderstood
ing here. You invited us to eat Thanks
giving dinner with you, and here we
are. But as for me, did not come to
be insulted.'
"You are correct in saying that in
vited You to come on Thanksgiving day.
Then why, may ask, didn't you come
on Thanksgiving dayT
"Why," responded the professor, in a
dazed way, this is Thanksgiving day~
Certainly it is" chorused the doctor,
and the editor, and the musician: ''this
is Thursday, Nov. 26."
"No one questions that" cried Mr.
Wardwell, with bitter irony, ''and to-
morrow is Friday, the 9th, and have
| excellent reason to believe that the fol-
lowing day will be Saturday, the 2Sth-
in fact, shouldn't be surprised if Sun
day turned out to be the Goth. But how
| do you make out that this is Thanks
giving day? Here is The Gazette, with
the governors proclamation in cold type,
and it reads Nov. 90 Does the govern
or's proclamation count for anything,
or is it merely a vain ceremony-an
empty formality"
Before any one could speak hollow
groan was heard. It came in all its
intensity from the lips Of the editor Of
The Gazette. He was reclining upon q
lounge, breathing with difficulty. The
f, doctor rushed to his rescue with q case
| Of surgical instruments, but the editor
| waved him away and mOaned:
| "Oh, what a misfortunel A Madison
upon that bilious, blear eyed foreman
Of mine! To think that all this should
come of allowing him to read a proof!
Mr.. Wardwell, and all Of you," he said,
rising to his feet, 1--WE are the victims Of
. scrawny printer whom l intrusted
with the governors proclamation and
the reading Of the proof. He placed the
figures go where '26' should have been.
| Mr.. Wardvell made all the prepsr,-
tions on the 10Th. and We. who probably