Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-01-15
PITH AND POINT.
He who talks and talks away
Escapes what other bores night say

A counter irritant-An impudcnt dry
goods clerk.-Bu6alo Inquirer.
The description ''latc lamentcd" ap-
plies forcibly to the delinquent debtor.
1t is not at all surprising that parrots
should use poly-sy llables.-B Boston Jour
nat. afa
The farmer who closely packs his load
OF wood is sure to strike the popular
chord.
When the Chairman of a meeting wants
rapt attention he get it with his gavel
statesman.
There's pitch in tho voice, and that's
why some singers notes stick.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.
1t is easier to forgive enemies we have
worsted than enemies who have worsted
us.-Ne,o York Herald.
A man never has so great a trouble
as when he has one he can't blame on
anyone clse.-1tchison Globe
The business in which you know you
could make the money is generally the
other ns.-Teras Siftinqs.
Tho man who lives upon his brain.
by wit earns all his bread,
Meier finds it i'll the least way vain
10 stand upon his head.
-Hurpe,'s Bazaar
Qucries-s'Does Miss Prym believe
everything iii her Biblc?" Cynicus-
eyes, except the entry of her birth."-
Ne~ York Journal.
Employer-'.Your first duty will be
to post this ledger" New Clerk (rathcr
too readily)-''Ycssir; where shall 1
send it2"-Pick No Up.
Bunting "Why on earth do you call
your wife ''S1isery?'" Larkin-.AIost 4
appropriate name in the world, sir. Shea9
loves company" Truth.
ooh, ma" cried Willie, as y few OF
the crew ran by, "there go some more
men up the avenue with those perspirers
on. "-Har0ard Lampoon.
81 am not vain, ah no. she wrote
With evident sincerity.
The doorbell rings to the glass she springs.
With positive celebrity.
Yankee Blade.
1t was the cynical bachelor who sym
phatically observed that there was no
slight danger attending fashionable
wedding there was SO much typhus about
it.-Boston Transcript.
Actor-"I have worked hard to please
the people. I have tried everything in
the business but they won't be pleased"
Manager-"Hav you tried going out of
the business9"- Brooklyn Citizen.
Willie (scared) -"Now we've MIXED
the COW, whaJ'll we do9 Pop'll DO awful
mad" Jimmie equal to the occasion)
-"Well drive her down to the pond and
fill her up with water. - ayper's Bazaar.
1t always seems to me that cheek
Succeeds in besting worth and skill:
Why, cen in church one small red cent
Makes more noise than dollar bill.
Colorado Sun.
Timid Citizen (who has Just escaped
from riot)-''Who arc you, ,ir2" ssPo-
liceman-sT am member of the police
force. There is my badge" Timid
Citizen (vociierously "Help! helpl"-
Ne0 York Journal.
Time Makes All Things Even: Pegg
-"Sometimes the absolute faith nv bow (
has in my wisdom makes me almost
ashamed of myself" Potts-"You need
not worry. 1t will average up all right.
BY the time he IS twenty he will think
you know nothing at all. "-Lndianapo2is
Journal.
eff mad known" sobbed young Mrs.
Fits, 'tthat you would be such brute
to poor Fido, never, never would have
married you" ''AIy DEAR" replied Mr..
Fits, "the anticipation OF kicking that
miserable little beast was one of my chief
reasons for proposing to you" Indian
apotis journal.
Laura-"If papa gives his consent,
George, dear, when you go to ask him,
won't you be fairly transported with
joy2" George somewhat apprehen-
sively)-'Yes, Laura, and if it shouldn't
happen to strike him favorably and he's
feeling right well shouldn't wonder if
I'd be considerably moved anyhow."-
San Francisco Eraminer.
Jrate Mamma-"Goodness me! It's
BALI an hour since sent you around to
the store to get those things, and here
you are back without them" Little
Dick-"It was such long time before
my turn came to be waited on that for
got what it was you wanted" sThen
why didn't you come and find out2'
~ was afraid if left I'd lose my turns
met fearful little lass:
She sobbed so hard L could not pass,
L wonderei SO thereat;
nOh, dry your tears, my pretty child,
FRAY tell me why you grieve SO widT
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
"a mouse ate up your cat!'' cried,
10 think shed fib quite Mortified;
why, how can you sly that?'
Her tears afresh began to ran
She sobbed the words out one by one:
1t-was-a-candy-cat