davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
A SANDER.

vanderclam-What you have told NE
Is impossible!
vanchump-It is the simple truth.
Come, now, you only invented it."
81 want you to understand, monsieur,
that am incapable Of inventing any.
thing."-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Grinding,

1.-THE mills Of the gods grind slowly"
which accounts for the fact that so
many sinners get so old before they 60
under the ground.-N. Y Herald.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Vice in IOrdOn.

It IS s:,il that one woman in every
six+v IN E.radonis n gin drinker, or in
e7rrv twcrtr raupcr and one in thir-
sSsn illiterste.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Simpler.

Servant Ito Squibs, in his new board
ing place)-Shall get some ice, sir?
Squibs-No; it isn't necessary. Just
put the pitcher Of water in the stove
Puck
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Tho New Bonnet.

Now doth the artful maiden
Become exceedingly sweet,
Because she sees spring bonnets
In the windows on the street
Philadelphia Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07

did you tell him?

Boggs-A man asked me last night il
thought politician could be a Chris
tian.
Foggs-What did you tell him?
Boggs-I said he could-if there were
votes enough. to be got out Of it to pay
HMM. Y. Herald.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Evidentlv He nidn,t

Citizen Ito tramp)-Say, do you want
job?
Tramp (haughtily) - Do you know
who l am. sir?-Detroit Free Prose
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Information Wanted.

Editor want you to take charge of
the "Qucries'' column.
New Man (modestly)-I fear cannot
answer the questions our readers would
ask
''Oh! yes, you can. Most of the ques-
tons are from college graduates, and
they are very sy."-Demorests Maya
zine
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07

Smiley las the hearse passed)-There
goes carriage that no one wants te
ride in.
Cooley-Did you ever know anyone
who rode in it to make any complaint
Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Greater Still.

Tommy Ito new boy)-You wasn't
born in this country. You can't never
be the president.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
A Word of Caution.

Spatts Ito Miss Num- -Mabel, love,
dote upon you wildly.
Miss Munn-That's all right, but
don't let papa know it.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
A Sure Sign.

Frs Servant Girl-The missus has
been giving it to the master this morn.
ing.
Second Servant Girl-How do you
know?
F. 8. Gle just Kicked the cat as HI
came out Of her room.-N. Y. Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
A Daring Snirit.

Hes violently opposed to young
mems wild dotes. IN. Y. Sun.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
A STRAIGHT ANSWER,

Mr.. o. Turk-Oi hear thot Micky wor
hurt in tn blast Yesterday.
Mrs. McPhee-Thrue fur you.
Mr.. O. Turk-An' how is he gettin'
along?
Mrs. McPhee-Oh, he cant complain.
Judge.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07
Too Hot for Him.

New Boy-No, but can be a police.
man some day, and you can't. Chicago
Tribune,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-04-07

from me, an he hopes I'll come right
away, fore col weather sets in. But
he's 'fraid I'll have to put up with
they're so short O room"
Then, O. course, that puts an end
to fathers goin'," said Miranda, COM
ing in noiselessly from the kitchen, the
door having been left ajar.
An to her goin', too, l guess" an
swered the old man.
''Oh! you shouldn't say that, father"
said Miranda It'll lie real nice lit
tie trip for her, and do her lots O. good. -
The old man scowled, and thumped
The floor with his cane. ''She amt 60
in to stir a step. not with my con-
sent" he cried. angrily.
''Sh-sh, father" whispered his wife.
Don't let's have any words about it ~
Miranda put her apron to her eyes.
I'm sure I don't want to have no
words" she whimpered.
Hesba stood up with her hand on her
husbands shoulder. I'VE won't say
any thing more, Miranda Ill 60 to
Williams as soon as 1 can get my
things ready, an stay till your COM
pany's gone"
Miranda walked out of the room
without answering. She had gained
the day, and there was nothing more
to be said, but she still held her apron
to her eyes.
The old people had seldom been sep
arated, even for a day, and during the
time that interviewed they would sit,
hand in hand, by the hour, trying for
lornly to find some way of escape from
Miranda's plan.
Its no use, father" sighed Hesba
"She's made up her mind to have me 60
and to 60 fore Jason comes home, an
she won't res till she gets me out O.
the house."
well, she'll repent it." said the old
man. shaking his head.
Don't father" entr Gated his wife.
"Tain't for N 70 make her repent it."
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
THE COUNTY TICKET.

TIE democracy of Pettis county has
presented an admirable ticket for the
consideration of the voters-equal in
point Of excellence to any even before
nominated, and one to which no rea-
sonable objection can be advanced.
1t is composed of gentlemen well
known to the community as possessed
of personal popularity. integrity and
splendid business qualifications. Per-
s,nally, there r. some very fair gentle
on the opposition tickets, but this lie
democratic year, and the ticket Of
that faith should be given an over
whelming majority. No democrat
should be absent himself from the
polls simply because the "iicket will
be elected anyhow" 1t is duty to
the party to exercise the elective fran.
chise and nc democratishou.d allow
himself to offer an excuse. The larger
the vote the greater the influence Of
Pettis county in future conventions.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
THE COMING FAIR.

1t is only a short time now until the
opening of the meeting of the MIS-
souri, State Fair association in the
city, and it promises to be the bigges,
event of the kind that has ever occur
red in Central Missouri. The man
sgement has not been slow to take
hold of everything that promises to
be an attraction.
The completion Of The fines: kite
shaped track on the continent and the
extreme liberality Of the purses offered
will make the racing one of the grand
features, and will be the means OF in.
ducing owners of fine stock to put in
an appearance.
The grounds generally have beer
remode!led and enlarged, and one Of
the finest grand stands in the section
Is in the course of construction.
Sedali ms can make up their minds
to accommodate one Of the largest
crowds ever assembled in the city.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
TINE TO HEDSE.

New York World
cleveland is g'iug to carry the
oouutrr, and it Won't do for US to lose
this state. We have got to win :" IL
am convinced that Mr.. Cleveland is
stronger with the people than Nc.
Hill would have been" 81 am cou.
WINGED that Cleveland can carry the
state By larger majority than any
presidential candidate in a genera
tiOn."
These are Mr.. Richard Cookers
views. as expressed to the Tammany
committee of twenty-four.
Here are his plans, as set forth at
he same time:
81 want the district leaders to talk
to the district captains and the men
upon whom you can depend. Urge
them to work harder this year than
they have ever done. If there is any
grumbling against Cleveland stop il.
Heal up any little di.atiection that
may exist in your district and all pull
together. We shall aud will give the
st ,te Of New York to Mr.. Cleveland"
That is Tammany's attitude. II
anybody has been citing on the
strength of Tammany disafiection i, is
high time to hedge.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
THE REDEMPTION FUND.
Nes York World .

Ncs I0rk HOrIu
Chairman Culbertson, of the House
Committee on the Judiciary, hiss made
a report of unususI importance cen
corning the 500 600. 600 gold reserve
for the redemption of the greenbsck
currency.
This reserve was created by the Re.
sumption act No man Of ordinary
intelligence can read that act without
seeing clearly that it intended to pro-
vide special fund sufficient to guar.
antee the redemption in gold Of all the
Treasury notes that might be present
ed. and thus to keep the Treasury
notes always at par. The act no,
only provided for the creation of the
fund but for its maintenance, even
giving to the Secretary the right to in.
crease debt by selling bonds for lis
replenishment in case Of need.
Clearly the intention wac, as Mr..
CuIbertson's report says, TO keep this
fund intact as sum set apart for the
specific purpose Of maintaining the in
tegrity Of The circulating notes. Blu,
siuce the B lion dollar congress
squandered the surplus and reduced
the treasury to is present straits this
fund has been treated as an ordinary
asset and u%d for other than its sp: c.
ifc purpose by way of enabling treas
ury bookkeeping to show balance on
the right side where in fact the bal
aDce is on the wrong side.
The report is clearly right. 1t ought
to furnish congress with an opportu-
nifty to declare in emphatic ways what
its purpose was in passing a resump'
;ion act. 1t is of the very highest I'm.
portance to the country that the re.
serve for the redemption of reeubac ks
shall be maintained at figure which
shall make those promises to pay
secure beyond the shadow of doubt.
An acknowledged treasury deficit
might be embarrassing to our Billion
Dollsr Administration, but that ia o.
small consequence in comparison with
The soundness of the currency.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
THIS IS BUSINESS.
New York Herald

New iorE Herald
Tammsny hall has set to work tor
Grover Cievel.nd's election, and FROM
nov until November earnest efforts
will be put forth to roll up a big m I.
jority for him in this city.
Richard Croker called the execu
tive committee oftwenty-four together
yesterday afternoon austensib'y for
the purpose of hearing aud discussing
q report of the subcommittee ap.
pointed to appOrtiOn the city into
thirty assembly districts under the
legislative reapportitnment act.
Chairman James j. Martin said that
the Committee wasn't ready to report
yet. aud that it was having a good
deal of trouble with the new districts
because every leader wanted to carve
out a new district to suit himself. 1t
was determined to meet Friday after
noon and every afternoon thereafter
until the reapporlionment is arranged.
A few minutes recess was taken and
the district leaders lett the consulta-
ton room. They s.ood outside 10 the
large waiting room chatting together.
while Mr.. Croker, Mr.. Gilroy and
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Rev. B. F. Boiler will preach to-
morrow evening about lighting for
bread" About everybody and Judge
Me,sker fight for bread. The
preacher who dispenses gospel to q
perspiring audience to-day is scrap
ping for bread. His bread don't
come much easier than other peoples.
The editor. reporters and printers
who burned the midnight oil last night
to get out the paper you now read,
d d it for bread. Our whole people
are breadwinners, from the one who
feeds On sandwiches with whiskers to
the fellow who pays 81 per day fol
his bread.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
PAYING OFF.

Nothing better exempiifies the pros
periry of the various portions of the
state than the steady and rapid man.
ner in which the counties are paying
of their Indebtedness. In many in
stances these obligations were wrong
fully placed upon the people, but
with The exception of one or two cases
have been compromised and are now
in q fair wav to be entirely wiped out.
A few more years of honesty and
economy as has been exercised by
democratic officials, and rot only the
state debt but that of the counties will
be a thing Of the past.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The House committee has reported
in very unfavorable light on the
administration Of the pension Office by
Commissioner Rsnm. A very full in
vestigation was made with the above
result. The sing ular, obstinate ten.
acity with which Mr.. Harrison has
kept Ranm glued to his place in the
pension Office despite all his short.
comings and the well.known dislike Of
Secretary Noble is one of the unac-
countable peculisrties of the situation
which the President alone can explain.
The President is responsible. He
must fight his battle for reelection
with the Pension Office incumbent as.
tride of his shoulders and the report
of the House Committee hanging like
q milestone around the neck IF his can
vass.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The republicans admit that Indiana,
even though it is the home of the re.
publican presidential candidate, is a
dou biful state. And in fact it has
been somewhat politically coquettish.
1t went republican for president in
1872, democratic in 1876. republican
in 1850, democratic in 1884 and re-
publican in 1888. Hence a demo-
cratic victory is due in 1892 by all
rules of fairness.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The most encouraging news comes
40 The democracy from all quarters.
here SEEMS to be dissatisfaction
among no body of democrats with the
Chicago nominees. Indiana is in line
and has no cores. The friends of Gov.
Gray, as we'll as that gentleman him.
self express perfect satisfaction with
the ticket. Iowa promises renewed
energy in behalf of the democratic
cause. Michigan is sure to give the
Cleveland ticket part of its electoral
vote. Illinois is strictly in a demo
cratic humor. Wisconsin is strongly
leaning towards that Cause, while the
republicans are desperately fighting to
hold Nebraska, Kansas and Min
nesota More than ever this appears
to be q glorious democratic year.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
THEY REMEMBER HIM.

Msj. Warner was an active republi.
can and held office in the palmy days
of Rodman, Fletcher, McClurg & Co.,
-those days when native born citi-
zens we're DISTINGUISHED, ministers re.
fused entrance to their pulpits and
taxpayers groaned under heavy im.
positions that the pets Of radicalism
might thrive and grow fat and be ar.
rayed in purple and fine linen-when
the state treasury was p uudered with
out excuse and when state and county
debt was piled to q gig height.
Old Missourians remember those days
with shudder and they are not for
getful of the fact thst
Maj. VIM. Warner, republican
candidate for governor of the now
proud commonwealth Of Missouri was
conspicuous in the despicable gang
that had "rule and ruin" for it's mot
to. For these and many other rea-
sons not only every democrat but
many fair-minded republicans will be
glad Of the opportunity to bury Maj.
Warner beneath ap avalanche of in
dignant votes. His personal popular.
is overestlmsted and the party loyalty
he expects will Lot be forthcoming.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Sedaiia wants to put on its store
clothes for the republican meeting on
the 9th. Show them what a pretty
ard busting city is democratic Soda
liza. They may possibly be open to
conviction and it may make some
converts, for it is a good doctrine
that "while the lamp holds out to
burn the vilest sinner may return"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

vote of about So, coo in the state. 1t
can help to elect the republican ticket,
but thereby giving the lie to all its
boosted professions of honesty and re-
form. The democracy is in line with
the peoples interest and every honest
member of the third party should sup
port its nominees. A vote for Leon
ard in three cases out of four means a
vote for Warner.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Many prominent men throughout
the country who have heretofore acted
with the republican party, are pro-
nouncing for Mr.. Cleveland. The
latest is Hon. John Overmeyer, Of
North Vernon, Ind. for years one Of
the most prominent republic ans in
Indiana, twice a member Of the legis
lature and for two years chairman Of
the republican state central com.
mit,ee.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
Among the many strong independ

Among the many strong independ.
eat papers Of the country, now labor
ing for the election of Mr.. Cleveland,
is the Harper's Weekly, and its in
fuence iu that direction will be felt to
a very considerable extent. Nor car
the motives of Mr. Curtis, its able
editor, be impugned. He believes. in
common with the greater part Of tie
American nation, that Mr.. Cleveland
will make a b=tter and safer president
than any of his competitors.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

In nine days more the democratic
state nominating convention will meet
at j .ferson City. 1t is thought that
the attendance will be larger than at
any previous convention ever held in
the state. 1t will be q long drawn
out contest for guberna:orial honors.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The press in some portions of the
state are favorably canvassing the
chances Of Col. NJ. E. Benton of
Neosho, Tor the governorship, in the
case of q dead lock. Should light
ming strike in that direction it would
run up against good material.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Mr. Filley has made tacit denial
of the report that he Twill work en-
SPECIFICALLY for the success of the re-
publican ticket in this state" TIE
old man is engaged in whe,ting up a
great, long knife.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

1t will be we'll for the people of
Missouri to remember that from 1862
to 1870, under republican rule, taxes
were IS cents on the 500. Now, I'm.
der democratic rule, the small sum of
Is cents settles the bill.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The Kansas democrats seem salts.
fed with the action of their state con.
veution, and after all it concern. them
more than any other locality. They
seem confident Of being able to lay
the republicans out
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Tkere are no "sulky" democrats
now in New York. Tsmmsny il
spreading itself for CleveIanu's cleo.
ton. Harrison will have to come
down to Harlem river Will. e, VO0 al
order to defeat him, whi.. Ae c..n.v,
do BY %, 900.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

There is a republican factional fight
in Greene county while the democracy
is practically united, sud the latter
expect to wiz the county hands down
Notwithstanding they must overcome
an 1890 plurality Of 2S9 votes.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

If Mr.. Dalton doesn't withdraw be-
fore the meeting of the state conven-
ton at Jefferson City, the delegates
will do the j ID for him. This is the
year that the dem ocrats will put for
ward their strongest men and Mr..
Dalton is strictly mot in it,"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The committee will notify Mr..
Cleveland of his nomination, in New
York on the Goth inst, and the people
will notify him of his ell ction on the
Sth Of November.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Senator Sherman says that New
York will decide the presidential con-
test. In that case, Mr.. Cleveland
might as well begin making prepare.
tons to resume occupancy of the
White House.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Every day adds a big lot Of govern
ment pensioners 20 an intermInablc
roll. The cost Of pensions alone is
now more than double tie entire ex-
pense of the government in the year
before the war. Where will it end ?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Guessing is in vogue now as to what
name the republicans will sdopt next
year-whether it will be able to stand
alone after the besstly humping of
next November or whether it will
lean on a third party for support.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The man who talks the language of
monkeys will sail for Africa soon to
study the animal in his native haunts.
Springfield Democrat.
Not until after the election. His
serv ces have been secured by the re.
pub lean campaign committee.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The republican congress onal con-
vention will meet in this city next
Tuesday. 1t is to be hoped that the
pride of Missouri has his plans Well
laid for The capture Of the convention
without the loss Of a man.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The English electoral system is in
need Of reorganization. 1t has been 6
week since the general elections and
the result il not vet known.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The republican organs don't like
the stress being put on the force bill
clause inserted in the Minneapolis
platform. No wonder. 1t will ard
should defeat any party advocating
it.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Republic in defeat in Kansas is ss-
sured. The democrats of that State
did the best days work in the States
political history when they decided
upon the fusion programme. This
was an extraordinary case and extra.
ordinary measures were demanded.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Judge Gresham is not as popular
with the Peoples party as he was in
days of yore. He is accused of play
ing fast and loose with them.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

If the peoples party of Missouri is
really in earnest in its professions Of
reform it will join in with the democ.
racy to that end. Alone, it cannot
expec, to accomplish anything, as its
most sapguine advocates only claim q
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

At the eleventh hour Mr.. Blaine
very briefly congratulates Secretary
cf Stale F, sler on his appointment.
However, it came from the lips only.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

pers of that shade of politics are mys-
teriously silent and the lesser lights
taking a cue therefrom are conspicu.
ously mum.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The republican party Of Missouri
has got pretty fat wallet for cam.
paign purposes. The democracy,
however, ia accustomed to fighting
corruption in all shapes and don't in
the least fear the result of the attempt
to buy voters.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

pick out the winning man. And they
do say that both Gibson and Stone
are beautiful mixers with the people.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Hsrrisonis plurality in Kansas in
1888 was SD,159. This year he will
lose its electoral vote. "Sich is the
ickleness' Of politics.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

The Chicago News says: 1--WE do
not hear as much as We did about the
prospect Of carrying Missouri for the
republican party"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Judge Gibson, OF kansas City.
claims that he will 60 into the con.
wention with the solid support of over
400 delegates.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12
OrOvements.

The various roads leading to Sedalia
will offer half fare round trip rates to
the republican meeting to the place
on the 9th.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-07-12

Reports from New York indicate
that Tammany has the reddest kind
of war paint on and will use the
somahawk relentlessly on its republic
can enemies.