St. Paul daily globe., 1892-05-15
A TALE OF ANTIQUITY.
Reductio Absurdam OF Darwin
ism.

ReductiO Absurdam of Darwin
ism.
The primeval forest!
Rank and luxuriant grew the vegeta-
ton that sprang into being under the
ardent rays of tropical sun in whose
existence at period antedatng his
own personal recollection Hon. Bob
Ingersoll finds no trouble in believing,
SAYS the Chicago Tribune. Tall, stately
trees waved to and fro in an atmosphere
of perpetual summer, and down through
the shimmering vistas and leafy glades
rose to view dense JungleS OF cllnglng
plants that Strove to mount to the OlaZ-
ing sunshine overhead by winding in
tangled maZes about the trunks and
branches of the forest mOnarchs.
Happy four-footed deniZenS of the
trackless wilderness leaped fIom bough
to bough in the careless abandon and
wild, unchecked freedom of natures
own children, chatterlng with the floW-
ing, nnkempt locks of modern vIrtuo-
so, their CHEEKY, ceaseless, staccat0
music; and in the ecstatic warbling OF
the feathered songsters that fitted
about in the topmoSt branches or the
trees there was no melancholy premonl-.
tlOIl VI lOils,f 'hfo oNAAS" "a
farewell concerts.
From the depths of a somber avenue
of impenetrable greenery whose dark
shadows invited the weary to repose the
stertorous breathing of a disturbed
sleeper broke upon the pulseless air.
Then a voice rang out through the
solitudes:
.'Oh, L have had such a horrible,
frightful dream!"
1t was the father of the family who
spoke.
Securely embowered in the modest
vet primitive habitatiOn to which he
was accustomed to repair when weary
of society and its demands upon Dlm.
he had laid his tired head down to rest
and sleep had descended upon him.
at was horribleD' lie repeated, with
a Shudder.
'What was itP' inquired his faithful
companion, soothingly.
sYet it was only dream!" he eX-
claimed, trying to shake off the gloomy
impression it had made upon his excited
sensiDiIitieS. "Only dream-but how
vivid"
He passed his hand across his eyes,
shook himself and said:
"ListenI l dreamed that countless
ages had rolled away. These grand old
forests had vanished, and ugly rows OF
dirty brown and gray dwellings covered
the land. Narrow passages called
streets, paved with slippery granite
blocks or bottomless with mud and
slime, crossed each other at right angles.
The dwellings were dark, gloomy. tall.
and cloud of smoke hung over every
thing" -.
Ibid anybody live III the dwelllng?''
inquired his spouse.
.'Thousands-hu of thousands
They called 1t living. COoped up in
these box-like structures was multi
tude of the misunderstanding creatures
Imaginable. Pale. emaciated. some
with hair on their faces and some with
out, they trOoped down the horrible
streets in the morning and back in the
evening. They walked upright, to be
sure, and some of them carried sticks
in their hands, but seemed to have no
use for them. One-half of the popula-
ton seemed to be two-legged. These
two-legged creatures did not dress
alike. Some of them wore high, shiny
things on their heads, held burning
things that Smelled villainouSly in their
mouths, had loose coverings about their
bodies. wide, Tapping garments. with
creases up and down them on their legs.
and black. glstening things Oh their
feet that pinched and made them limp.
Others of these tWo-legged creatures
were dressed exactly alike and some
times they would walk along like
machines, two or four abreast,
looking solemn and torbidding,
while few smaller ones in front
pounded round things with little sticks
and made horrd noise. 1t was one of
their ways of amusing themselves"
''How about the other half OF the pop
ulatiOn?'
"They wore their hair in front just
like yours, my dear, with little shape
less things on the backs of their heads,
and garments that came down to the
ground and scraped the streets. L could
not see that there was any other way
of cleaning the streets, but 1t seemed to
me poor way. The garments were al
ways dirty at the bottom and the streets
never got any cleaner. These creatures
seemed to have two feet, the same as
the other, but | was not sure. Their
bodies were pinched at the waist, and
when they walked along they appear ed
to be always in danger OF breaking in
two"
Don't say anything more about
them, JOcko! 1t is too horrible! Who
were these creatures?'
IL dreamed, my dear" he said, with
udder, "they were our descend
ants!"
So saying. he wrapped his tail on the
limb below, swung himself to the
ground, and with dismal wall he dis
appeared in the trackleSs jungle.