The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-08-18
WIT AND HUM0R.

The hill that man climbs to go 10
the devil never looks big. = RAMS
Horn.
Truth is stranger than fiction; and
many never seem to care for an intro
duction.-Pnck.
Mans life is a constant trial and all
his neighbors are on the jury.-Indt-
annapolis Journal.
A green cid age is all right. It is
the green young age that Is danger
ous.- Charleston Ne0s.
Prof Swift's comet has lost one of
its three tails. Been in a duel. per-
haps. Indianapolis Journal
1t isn't much trouble for man to
make his mark in politics the trouble
is in removing it Columbus Post.
II we had no troubles but real
troubles there wouldn't be round
shouldered man in the world. -RdntS
Horn.
He Ca p0et)-" Poets are born. not
made" She-"Don't say that. You
will discourage matrimony. "-Drdte's
Magazine.
Professor What does 'Plato's Apo
lOgy' apologize for?" Student Cat ran
DOM "Well-er-for being written in
Greek. - aie Record.
1t is curious how woman who
screams at mouse is not startled by
a millinery bill that makes a man
tremble. Binghamton Republican.
Clara-"That's an awfully becoming
10 " hot
makes you think 500" Clara-"Be
cause it's so thick. "-C Cloak RcCicw.
shallow is man of rather small
caliber, isn't he?" Ills wife makes
much of him." Its surprising where
she gets the material to do son. Y.
Press.
"Who told you that Dowell had got
religion?" Il didn't hear he had, but
l imagined So" "Why?" Because
he is going out of politics"-M. I.
Press.
This would be pleasant world in
some respects if women had as much
confidence in their husbands word as
they have in the word of a peddler.-
44tchiSOn Globe.
rs your father in favor of patroniz-
ing home Industry" asked a sister of
Freddy. Il think he is, Judging from
the way he makes me work, +" replied
Freddy
The man who is suddenly thrown
upon the world finds it hard work to
support himself. This especially so of
the 1ronaut who falls out of his balloon.
I1DIar0 SfufaS,lnn
Tommy - Paw. wy do they call
taking a mans money from him bleed
ing him?'" Mr.. Figg-"Because it
rcbS him of his circulating medium"
Indianapolis J0urnai.
De Jinks-"I want to borrow V.
You know me, old boy" Merritt
yes, if | didn't know you there would
be better chance of your getting the
v" n T. Ecening star.
Il thought you said Mawson knew
French?" said Binks. $50 | did" Il
spoke French to him the other day and
he couldn't understand a word" 80,
| meant French French. "-Br0oklyn
Life.
you should not dig bait on sun
day" said the deacon. 1T is wrong
very wrong. | dig my bait ON Sat
urday, and don't lose any time going
to the river Sunday. "-Atlanta Constt-
tuition.
my friend" said the experienced
politician to the young candidate,
your success does not so much de-
pend on putting yourself as on blow
ing yourself See?" - Indianapolis
J0ufRai.
Poor crcaturcs!" exclaimed Mrs.
Grosgrain, looking at the pictures of
nude savage women; mo clothing of
any kind. | wonder what the poor
things have to talk about. "-B0stoy
Transcript.
81 can take a hundred words min
ute" said stenographer Il often
take more than that" remarked the
other in sorrowful accents; "but then
| have to. l am married "-B0Ston
Transcript.
Olivia-"Say, Lily, saw Fred Hard
up 90 into a pawnbroker's yesterday.
Whatever could he be doing there?"
Lily-"O. | don't ACCOMPLISHING his
time away, may be."-,Snlith, Gray G
Co.'S Monthly.
q hear you are going to marry Miss
Bullion. | should think YOU would
marry Goldie Sterling; she is Just as
rich and much younger" yes. my
dear boy. but Miss Bullions papa is
much older. "-Litc
Mrs. Differs Cooking up from the
paper) all thAgs. \ couple who
have lived together for sixty years
have applied for divorce" Mr. Blif-
fers-"My, my! Sixty years! | don't
wonder. ~. Y. Weekly.
"No," he answered. Il don't play
lawn tennis. 1t is what you might call
one-armed sport" 20. well. she
answered quickly and thoughtlessly,
"you conld say the same about driy-
ing. Washington star.
Smythe-"W why don't you buy a
house and quit moving?" Tompkins
lwho has political aspirations)- i don't
dare. That would make me tax
payer, and I'm afrnid I'd be mug
wump next. IN. T. Herald
Wife-O, George, the water-pipe is
leaking and the water is spelling the
new nan carpet. 20 and get Il plumber
quick" Husband" That's all right.
my dear; let it go; its cheaper to get
new carpet "-Harrard Lampoon.
Husband-~I am glad the season of
fine weather has come. There is al
ways something to look forward to
when one gets up in the morning."
Wife-"What is that?' H.-"Seeinp
the baseball score in the evening"
n. Y. Press.
as yer gwine ter let dat mewel do
as he please" asked Uncle Ephraim's
wife. ~Whar's yoh will power?" "My
will powers all right" he answered.
You jes, want ter come out hyur an
measure dis her mewel's won't power"
Washington Star
Mrs. Gramercy-"What is so pecu-
liar abont this author who is going to
attend your reception" Mrs. Park
-iip * the only litarar,- man of ,,x-