The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1892-10-19

who could have painted it red-Bos-
ton Transcript.
When grain-feld has got about all
it can hold, it is ready for some mower.
TEXAS Sittimgs.
The genuine tramp, whatever he can
be accused of, is always prepared for
a rest Philadelphia Times.
docs your new dress fit you well,
ClaraP" 20, splendidly! can hardly
move or breathe in it."-N. Y Press.
Baseball managers are only human.
They, too, hang on to a pitcher as long
as there's anything in it. Philadelphia
Times.
He-"My grandfather was a great
General" She-"Humph! The father
of my father was great-grandfather."
Brooklyn Life.
She-"I can sympathize with you.
was married once myself" He
'"But you weren't married to a wo-
man. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Husband-"My dear, there's a bur-
glar in the room. have no revolver"
Wife-"Then look daggers at him.
Kate Fields Washington.
81 don't think I'll ever marry" said
the summer girl. "Whyp" because
then I'd have to quit becoming en-
gagged. - Washington Star.
The man whe never tells his wife
anything of his business affairs is the
first to make over his property to her
when he fails.-Bostop Post.
Mrs. Enpik-"Marriage is only lot
terry anyhow" Mr.. Enpik-"Hardly.
A man does get prize sometimes in
lottery" ."-Detrott Free Press.
what is your favorite playP" "Ti-
mon of Athens" "Why, nobody pro-
duces that" "Yes. That's the reason
I like it, Washington Star.
Milton probably referred to the sum-
mer girls hat when he wrote: "The
other shape, if shape it might be call'd,
that shape had none. ."-PWcE.
Marjorie-"I don't see how she could
marry that fellow, Why, paralysis has
made him speechless. Madge-"But,
my dear, his money talks."-N. Y.
Salp.
A mans funeral procession is no
measure of his popularity. All of his
rivals and enemies may be in line and
the rest may be candidates. Galueston
Nea0s.
"Are you in favor of monopoly"
asked the seedy stranger. "Yes," re-
piled the young man, "where your
best girl is concerned / ANN Y.
Herald.
Mrs. Punc-Tual-"Your clock is al
Ways on time. PRAY how do YOU man.
age it?" Mrs. Slowpay-"Why, my
husband got it that way."-Jea0elers'
Weekly.
"Do you want to see the Artists
Bluff" asked White Mountain guide.
"No; I go to all the art galleries at
home" said the matter-of-fact tourist.
Boston Transcript,
Foggs says he was never baptized,
but he went to church where there
was sprinkling of sinners in the con-
gregation and he was one of them
Boston transcript.
He Quitting on the ring)-"So glad
you like opals! So many girls are
afraid of 'em. She (suspiciously)-
"How do you know?" He-"Tried 'em
Kate Fields Washington.
"Well, if that amt mean!" exclaimed
the prisoner. "Every one O. the sto-
ries in this paper they've gimme to
read is ito be continued An me to
be hung next week!"-Igt Bits.
"This confinement is killing me,
complained the Russian prisoner. "You
do look pale" commented the guard.
"I'll see that you get knouting to-
morrow. Indianapolis Journal.
Vickars-"Why don't you have your
poetry typewriter? You can get q
much better idea how it will look in
print" Wickars-"Certainly. But so
can the editors. ."-IaadiamapoEis Jour
nal.
Twitter-"What's this 1 hear about
your falling in love with girl at your
boarding-house?" Jack Birdsall-"I
had to do something; and heard that
love took away ones appetite. IN Y.
Herald.
Young Lady-Mercy me! And so,
when fast in the jungle, you came face
to face with a tiger. O-o-o! What
did you do2" Modern Traveller
proudly)-"Photographed it."-M Y.
Weekly.
81 can get you job of hauling iron
for a foundry" said the employment
agent. Il pass" responded the idle
man. Il don't intend to be an Iron
Haller the second time, thank you."-
Indianapolis Journal.
He-"I have decided to ask your
fathers consent by letter, Pauline.
Now what sort of letter would you
odT TO aT IL. l.
Horace, that would make it an an
onymous letter. Life.
Jabsley-"Don't you think you could
live at less expense if you paid board
by the week instead of by the mealP"
Mudge-"Yes, l suppose could, but
it's heap easier to pay for one meal
than for twenty-one of 'em."
"Don't you think Mr.. Twiddles is
very absent-mindedP" said a young
woman. "No," replied Miss Pepper.
ton. "He displays admirable caution.
| What little he has he always brings
with him. . Washington Star.
Jeweler-"This shamrock necklace
is one of the finest pieces of jewelry
in my stock" Mr.. Newrich-"That's
all right, young feller; but we don't
want no imitation stones. It's dia-
monds or nuthin. ."-JeUelers' Weekly.
SCOT job for ye." said one roadside
rambler to another. "I've struck il
rich" "How?" "Feller hired me to
steal his wife's pet dog. Now you 90
and see how much she'll give ter git
the animal back. e?"- Washington
| Star.
Summer boarder-"If 1 don't open
this window will suffocate" Land
lady-@If you open it the mosquitoes
will come in" Summer boarder CATER
refection)-"Leave it shut, and tele-
phone for the undertaken. IN. Y.
Weekly.
He (angrily)-"My dear, I think
that you have forgotten what you
promised me at the altar" She-No,
l haven't forgotten it. I didn't pay
any attention to it. was trying to
remember what you promised me."-
| N. Y. Herald.
She-"Well, if l can't live on my in
come, and you can't live on yours,
where would be the advantage OF