Morning journal and courier., 1892-05-27
SOUND.

The music teachers profession has a sound basis.-Boston Courier.
 No, my dear girl, catbost is not neces- sarily made of pussy willow.-Boston Tran script.
 Jagson says it is @ great thing to be able to keep the respect of @ man who passes the plate to you every Sunday.-Elmira Gazette.
 "You beat him pretty badly in that race," said one giraffe to another. "l should say did. won by neck. ."-Wash- ington Star.
 Mother-what does my little boy mean by telling lief
 Bobby9I didn't mean to tell lie, but couldn't think of the truth.-Puck.
 "I paid Ss for small bunch of viole;s last evening"" Gracious. that wasn't a fair price" "Oh, yes, it was. l guess you've never been to fair. r."-Philadelphia Record.
 Mamma--When that boy threw stones at you, why didn't you come and tell me, instead of throwing them backi Little son-Tell youi Why, you couldn't hit a barn door.-Street & Smiths Good News.
 A Mssterly Defence.-Mokeby-Ho did yo' come out on dat chicken-stealin' easel Johuson-All right. Man lawyer proved dat de Jedge didn't hsb no jurisdiction, cause it was his own chickens done sto!el Puck.
 School Board Teacher Crying to explain what a brotner-in-iaw i-l-Suw, ivo, here, you have a sister. Tommy-Ah, sir, it's no good, she lave three young men al ready You wouldn't be in it! Gets the stick. Jun.
 A Steady Workman.-Housekee don't believe you ever did a stroke of work in your life. Tramp was six years in one place, mum. Indeed! How did you happen to leavei was pardoned out, mum.-New York Weekly.
 Charlie-Oh, Jack, you said bad word just now. Jack (who has just hit his fin ger with hammer)--I don't care if did; it hurt awfully. Charlie-But you said cuss word. Jack-Well, grandpa does of ten. Charlie-Oh, Jack, he doesn't; but it wouldn't matter if he did, because he's deaf and can't hear himself.-Brooklyn Life.
 Not Surprised. (breathlessly) Oh, Ars. .Harddluck, your little son John ny found dynamite bomb, and took it in to a stable down town and broke it with aa axe, and blew up the stable and all the buildings around it. Mrs. Hsrddluck- Land sakeei I wonder what that boy will be up to next.-Street & Smiths Good News.
 Mir Billus-Chugwster, am having a lightning rod put on my house. Do you believe in lightning rodsl MT. Chugwater T haven't much faith in them. But what kind of roof has your housei "A tin roof" "What kind of tin P "What diff ference does it makef" "All the difference in the world, Billus. If it's American tin it's protected already."-Chicago Tribune.
 Here is very small youngsters idea of soonness. Jack wanted to go and visit his grandma and had been told that he should 20 ''soon" But this was too in definite. He wanted something more specific.
 >"well, when may I go"
 "Oh, very soon."
 "Very soon," he exclaimed; "well, may 1 go as soon as the day before yesterdsya" Boston Transcript.
 Stranger-Aren't your townspeople very much worried over the present scarlet fever epidemica Native-Wall, yes, con- siderable; all except the constable. He's a-gittin' g day warnin' folks of, an it's jest godsend to his family.-New York Herald.
 Mabel (greatly excited)-Oh, Ethel, you have at last refused the hand of MT. Fell softly; know you have. Ethel (esgerly)-How do you know itl Mabel-I saw him on the street this morning.
 Ethel (alarmed}-o-h, and he was dis
 Mabel-No, no; he was out driving with Miss Pinkly, his old fame.-Boston Post.