Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-05-19
The VOlCElESs DAkoTahEN.
4 Terrible Indictment Against Two OF Our
Recently Admitted States.


Recently Admitted States
We call the attention OF the enter
prising and irrepressible citizens OF
Dakota to the fact that another enemy
has. taken the field. says the y. I.
Ir{batsee. Arise, ye boomers OF the
bounding plain, and defend your much
maligned land! True, this new attack
comes, apparently, from a woman, but
we doubt if even her sex can save her
from the fury of the valiant land
owners, town-lot agents, and editors Of
the sun-kissed, blizzard-rocked prai-
ries of the two Dakotas.
The lady in the case writes to the
Contributors club of the 4tlGnttc
Monthly. She refers to the two grand
imperial states simple as Dakota. and
says she once lived there for fourteen
months. We will pass over her ordin-
AIRY, commonplace charge that the
winters are too cold and the summers
too hot; that the winds swirl up the
choking dust to the heavens, and the
binding lightning flashes down upon
The defenseless earth; that the rain
falls IN torrents: that the hail beats
out the brains of men and cattle; that
the blizzard rushes down the chimney
and blows out the fire In the stove;
that praire fires, started by The fierce
flashes Of lightning. sweep the parched
plain till they are Jared out by the
earth-and-heaven shaking thunder;
that in winter ones eyelids freeze to-
gether if enc wiuks when looking out
of she window. and that. through il
all. there is the mighty, steady, wall
ing roaring, surging, onward rush of
the deadly wind, cold as the boreal
pole in winter. hot as the breathsof q
furnace seven times heated in sum-
mer, which drives women insane and
causes men TO pray for death and to
curse because it does not come to their
Ion ging arms-we win. we say, pass
over these minor ana commonplace
charges and come al once to the worst
Indictment ever framed against a
state of the American Union. 1t is
that no hen ever cackles or cock ever
cgoW5 in Dah>,a, such is the depress-
ing influence of the wind. Warriors
OF The booming prairies, arise and vim
licate your chickens.
The lady treats the silence of the
hens at some length. The Dakota
hen, instead of loudly heralding her
wonderful feat of laying an egg, seems
to seek rather not to have the fact
known at all. She viii slip away ont
Of the back door of the nest and comes
back to her scratching place in the
flower beds by circuitous route. as if
she would convey the impression that
she mad simply been walking ia the
backyard in search of Il newly ru-
mored colony OF angle-worms. If caught
coming direct ~ from the nest, she
puts on certain Indifferent, it-wasn't-
| air, which says to the -4tjo7atic con-
tributor as plainly as words, "True, [
have been liz the nest, out went there
simply to rest" This everlasting
wind has crushed out her last spark OF
! gallinaceous vanity. No rising morn
in Dakota is greeted by the clarion
note of the chanticleer. The lady had
| one rooster when she went there He
cr0wed The fist morning the rest was
silent, The wind blew the crow all cut
. Of hjm. Sometimes il was pitiful To
watch him. lie would get around be-
hind a cabhagehead or tumhleweed or
! spear Of grass or something of that
| kind where he was somewh hat protect
| ed from the terrible wind, and oDen
| bis mouth to crow, but it would only
| end ia a little gasp, and be would
| walk back and bear the reproachful
| looks OF the hens, while his taiI-Eoath-
| ers cracked and whipped in the roaring
wind, while his top-not sailed away in
! 40 the next county along with the
| che alney of the 4t3a9s&ic writer's house
| ana IN anvil from neighboring
blacksmith shop. Dakota appears to
! ne no country for a selt-respecting
| rooster to settle down ia &n2 Jock up
| an as home.
! Cur only reason for referring ro these
/ sc rious charges of the AH4@tic CORES
| p~nlent is to caA the 4tt@1ts b0n Of the
sons Of Dakota 70 thesn- Me do not
| feel t!laC VIC need 70 attempt to an
! SWEET thrm--Dakot;1 Is toe wei able to
! take re u herself. Ne 2Nul ..niy S3
! tkst we have not vet told the half. No
| dog ever harsls in Dakota No horse
| ever whinnies there. Eats will not
! j; II theco. Death rides OH the awful
el,>f ;ai maelstron. arc dcsolation broodS
/ al 4 n2s fOfQ4, 1ha hi1AaR@ Scpna