St. Landry democrat., 1892-11-12
THE JOKER'5 BUDGET
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Why He Couldn't Take it Out-Why
She licked Hinl-Not as Exquisite as
She Though --Astronomical, &c, &c.

| Why He Couldn't Take it Out-Why
She Licked Him-Not as Exquisite as
She Thought-Astronom &C., &c.
WHY HE COULDN'T TAKE IT OUT.
Principal Smith is one of the wisest
! and kin,,est Of teachers, but now and
then his watchfulncss makes him over
suspicious. In the geography class the
other day his eye fell upon a boy who
seemed to Le eating something.
",Jack,' said the master, sternly,
''take that piece of candy out of your
mouth at once
TO his establishment giggle went
round the room, and the next instant
poor Jack answered:
81 can't, sir; it's gumboil. y de-
troit Free Press.
WHY SHE LIKED HIM.
He had brought her chair, then a
fan, then an ice, and as he went after
her shawl her friend remarked: "You
seem to think a great deal of Mr.. Sim
mons" yes" was the reply, 81 like
him for his fetching ways Washing
ton Star.
NOT AS EXQUISITE AS SHE THOUGHT.
Miss Thn-Don't you think my new
dress is just exquisite? They all say
So
Fannie-Oh, lovely I think that
dressmakcr of yours could make clothes
pole look quite GRACEFUL Chicago
Evening Journal.
ASTRONOMICAL.
She read of the planets, she read of the
stars,
Though the subject was none to clear;
ooh, what do you think OF this visit of
Mars?'
She said to her husband dear.
Then over her liege lords merry face
There scuddcd look of pain,
And he gasped, as he chokcl on his
buttered roll,
SIS your mother coming AGAIN."
New York Recorder.
A CONSIDERABLE WOMAN.
'I'm very glad to have been of any
comfort to your poor husband my good
woman But what made YOU send for
me instead of your own minister??'
"Well, sir, it's tvphus my poor hus-
bands got and we dinna think it is just
RIGHT for our ain dear minister to run
the risk"
ENCOURAGEMENT.
Mr.. Dolly-Did any one ever attcmp
to steal kiss from you?
Miss Poly-Oh, yes, the attempt has
been made, but in vain.
Mr.. Dolly (sighing)-Then it would
be foolish for me to make the attempt.
Miss Polly-l suppose so. | don't
know. One cannot always be on the
alert, YOU know New York Press.
A SIDE ISSUE.
Her tennis costume is so gay,
And fits so very neatly,
The question whether she can play
Must be ignored completely.
= Washington Star.
UNCLE JERRY RUsK's coECEIT
The Observation-Disclosures the matter
CONGRATULATE him on the excellent quail
ity of weather he's furnishing, but he
turned away and walked off with his
head in the air | thiu!1 he's getting
sort of conccitcd and vain.
Iiic-1es, he is little weather vain !,
- boston News.
WANTED WIFE.
Miss Antiquc-You ought to get mar
ricd, Mr.. Oldchapp.
Mr.. Oldchapp (earnestly)-1 have
wished many times lately that | had a
wife.
Miss Antique (delighted)-Have you,
really?
Mr.. Oldchapp-Yes. If I had wife,
she'd probably have a sewing machine,
and the sewing machine would have an
oil-can, and / could take it and oil. my
office chair. It squeaks horribly New
York Weekly.
CRUELTY.
Mr.. De Fashion, see an English wo-
man has been fined for having her two
dogs pull the baby carriage.
Mrs. De Fashion-She ought to be,
the cruel thing. Why didn't she make
the baby pull the dogs 9-[New York
Weekly.
CAUSED THE FIRE.
Wool--It is said the FREELY strikes the
spark by rubbing its wings together.
Van Petit presume that's right; l have
often read of fires being caused by de-
fective flew.
PART OF THE BIRD.
The Young Housewife Ito the buucher)
Have you nice spring chicken this
morning?
eyes, ma am"
and send them to my address. y Chicago
News Record.
he THOUGHT IT WAS LEAP YEAR.
She love all that is grand, majestic
and beautiful.
He-I'han1 you very much, Miss Will
kins, but-er-really, you embarrass me.
- Boston Globe.
WHERE SHE WOULD BE SAFE.
Ben has been promoted to "pants."
He has thoroughly imbucd his little sis
ter with the idea Of their grandeur. So,
when her mother told her not to go to
the meadow with Ben lest the COW should
hurt her, she exclaimed: "Why, course
she can't hurt me. I'll just get behind
Bcnnie's pants"
THOSE GENERAL INVITATIONS.
A sportsman who, on the strength of
general invitation, had gone to pass
week with friend in the country, soon
found by gentle hint he would have