Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1892-10-27
CAMPAIGN ANECDOTES
Some Good Ones Told By Dem
cratic Speakers.
The Oklahoma Demands By Ernest Pill
low and the Ocular Demands
By Col House.

The men who are at the present
making such a vigorous campaign ir
the State are, as rule, fine on the
anecdote and many.a hearty laugh is
INDUCED in by those who hear them
Some OF these auecdotes~a are told fol
the fun they contain, while many
are told both for the saKe.of fun and
to Illustrate point. Ernest Pillow
tells some OF the best that have been
heard in this county and they all
serve to Illustrate point. They are
chaste, but abound in tiue humor and
much common sense. The best one
he tells is about the Oklahoma de.
mands. Lum Glenn walked into
Gen. Pillows office one morning and
accosted him with the question:
General, you are well informed
man. Now, l want you to tell me
what they mean by the Oklahoma
Demands" "What's that?" asked
General Pillow. 1.-THE Oklahoma
Demands" replied Lum. ooh, 1 un-
derstand you now," said Gen. Pill
low. "You mean the Ocala de-
mands." "Nell," said Lum,
"maybe 1 am wrong. I hear so much
about the Oklahoma boomers and
the Ocala demands that am not sur
p1ised If 1 do get things a little
mixed. Now, / want to know what
Ocala is. l don't know whether it is
a sand bank, tbreshing machine or
a railroad. All l know is that there
is something named Ocala and that
the people down there are demand,
ing something"
"Pll tell you what Ocala is, Lum,
and j want then to see if you are 10
favor Of the demands. Ocala is
town away down in Florida, where
lot OF Third party leaders met and
made certain demands on the gov
For instance, if you want
ed horse all you would have to do
would be TO go TO the cashier of
bank, tell him what you wanted, Or
der him to pay for it and charge the
same up to the government. Then,
If you wanted to buy thresher you
would just 60 to another cashier, or
to the same one, tell him you wanted
a hundred dollars to buy threshtr
he would give you the money aud
charge it up to Uncle Sam. If in the
course of human events you became
patriotic and wanted a home fory our
self and badly mistreated children
all you would have to do
would be to come to the cashier
act again and tell him to charge it to
the government. After you had So
cured your home and supplied your
family with something to eat you
might take a notion to visit the old
world and revel in the halls OF roy
atty, while your wife remained at
home and cut the wood. The thing
to be done in this case would be to
make out your bill of expenses, pre-
sent it to the cashier and call on him
to come down with the dust. You
would then get you ticket to New
York, where you would take passage
on some one of the great Wave-swept
decks Of the ocean greyhound and
revel in purple and fine linen, while
your vessel plowed its billowy way
across the briny deep. Then when
you wanted anything else all you
would have to do would ne to collar
some bank cashier and make him
come down with the cash, in all in
stances telling him simply to charge
it to the government
Lum's head was erect in the air all
this time and his face was study
for painter. AS quick as he could
summon his breath that had been
taken away he said: "Blame me,
Pillow, if can see anything wrong
in that scheme. All l would object
TO would be that trip across the briny
deep; l don't want any of that in
mine. The farm, horse and the
machine would suit me to
a pot, but that ocean voyage; well, l
don't want any of it. You can put
me down as being in line with
all them other demands, whether
they are the Ocala demands or the
Ok lahoma demands"
"Now, Lum, let me reason q little
further with you. You say you are
in favcr of all the demands except
the trip across the ocean. Suppose
these demands were to he enacted in
to a law, could you get up early
enough to beat some of your neigh
bors to the bank? And don't you
believe that these town fellers would
get up before day and have every
foot of land and every horse in Mar
shall county bought before you got
your break fast ?"
General, l was just a thinking,
and durn me If l know whether I'm
in favor of them or not. l believe
what you say is the truth about these
tnHun fnllers and hnfnrn | Mnnld rivl