The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-11-27
THAT CORSET.

more generally known. But both the
fiances had been discreet. 1t was known
that Ted had been Keeping company with
the wealthy widow, but what had induced
her to depart from her oft expressed de-
termination never to give Pat McDona
ghue successor was mystery.
If Ted had been young and handsome
her choice might have been accounted for
But he was fifty if he was quarter of an
hour, and when he dropped Il nickel in the
slot the arrow did not stay its motion till
it had passed the point of .60. His crcun-
ference was longest at the equator. From
that line it tapered up and down. Like so
many other San Francscans, Ted had once
been rich, but having in an i'll advised mo-
ment resolved to get even with that grasp
ing bonanza firm he had left most of his
coin on the bleak shore of Pine street, and
was cking out small remainder of his
fortune by precarous jobs rs Il real estate
and insurance broker. His symptoms, as
the homGopathistss say, indicated marriage
with woman of means. And Teddy, who
was jOvial, good tempered and full of fun,
did not despair of carrying conviction to
the mind of one of the many California
widows whose husbands had been judicous
enough to die before they lost their money
After much accommodating he had fixed
his glittcring eye on Mrs McDonaghue
WHiSc HuSDdDu Idu Deen kllIeu Ill the
Bloody Bootjack mine just after he had
struck pay ore; the widow sold her interest
in the mine for round million, and had
lived sumptuously on the interest ever
since in roomy house in the Mission
She had no children, but she could ALWAYS
find girls to accompany her to the park or
to the theatcr, or to the watering places
in the season. Like Ted, she had run to
adipose. None but the descendants of
Longitharm could clasp her waist Few
chairs could sustain her weight Her
favorite seat was sofa.
When she became aware that Teddy was
paying her attention with a view to mat
rimony she told him that he was ridicu-
lous
"Misther O'Alara," said She, there is no
carriage built in which we two could sit
side by side. If we walked the streets
arrum and arrum, we'd push every one
into the GUTTER
"Misthress McDonaghue," said he. "av
could hold your warrum, plump hand in
moline, the whole worruld might pitch into
the gutter for anything I'd care"
But the widow had been so long weaned
from thoughts of love that she laughed at
Teddy's gush, and he made but little prog
ress. He brought her flowers. which she
shifted without the least sense of gratitude
to the donor. He brought her candies.
which she gave to her girl friends. He
bought her theatcr tickets which she ac-
copied on condition that he was not to nc
company her. "D'ye want" she would
say, Ito have us taken for freaks from the
circus-the fat couple from Oireland i'm
ported at great eXpinse."
She was always glad to see him, asked
him to dinner, and gave him old sherry
which the late McDonaghue had laid in
t,,1, Ii ,l.
but when he tried to breach the subject of
his hopes, she made fun of him. After n
long campaign he succeeded in obtaining
the privilege of holding her hand 1t was
Il pudgy hand, with short. stubby fingers;
ms own was fat, very fat, so that when he
held hers the clasped hands looked like
two obese mollusks glued together
There were times when he despaircd
But his circumstances were not improy
ing and he would not give up The game so
long as he had not been actually shown the
door.
One day when he called he was told tim,
the widow had gone TO Santa Cruz
Happy thought! Why should he no, po
too? The sea air opens the heart. At
watering places ladies pine for alteration.
There IS no business there Everybody
flirts, when any one can he found To nirt
with. Women have nothing To do but To
listen to words Of love lie would 90 To
Santa Cruz i'll brand new outfit of clothes.
and would push his suit with ardor If
the widow had any heart at all he would
ma IL. lie was good swimmer; he
might have chance of saving her life.
At any rate he would show her what he
could do in the foamng breakers H..
would prove To her that he was not too old
for love or for any other manly exercise
1t did not take hiii long after his arrival
to ascertain that the widow bathed daily.
and that she had several bathing suits. of
different colors, which she had brought
down with her. AT the hour she was eX.
pected he appeared ut the baths and de-
manded bathing suit. The man who dis
penses those garments looked at him
doubtfully, and then called his wife. who
also inspected him. Then Said the man:
Pm afraid we have no suit that will fit
gentleman of your size"
Tut! nonsenser' replied Ted. "You
must find suit. My doctor orders me TO
take salt water baths. My death NAV be
ON your head if you prevent me IN
squeeze myself into any suit"
While the visitor was utterinp These
sJaculations the man and his wife were
consulting in whispers. Ted caught the
last remark of the wife:
cpd risk it. It's odds she won't come to-
day. She said yesterday that bathing gave
her headache. Ii she does come, why.
we'll say the missing suit fell into the wa.
ter and is hanging out to dry"
at goes" whispered the man. Then to
the visitors II think you'll find what YOU
want in 90. The boy will show you the
way. It'll be fifty cents for the suit is
extra large"
The dressing room was apparently a
double one, and bathing suits hung from a
number of nails. Ted undressed swiftly.
and prepared to put on blue suit, when
he noticed a black object hanging on the