Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1892-07-28
Mans lnhumanity to Lo
Makes countless Indians m

Makes countless Indians mourn,
in this last century of dishonor" Uncle
Sam has disbursed millions upon mil
lions in the desperately hopeless task of
filing the aboriginal stomach, and in
striving by means of honest census to re-
duce the number of the countless so
pathetically referred to- Indians would
make splendid ward politicians, and how
it is that the sachems of Tammany have
not long since possessed themselves Of
so available IA means of swelling their
ranks passeth all understanding. After
the Indian bad had himself, several
wives and his blooming olive branches.
''oksheelah, wicincha, boys and girls,
and such pappooses as his better halves
had at the back either Of home produc-
ton or borrowed for the moment from
the tepee Of Two -Bricks-in-his-H Hat, duly
enumerated would he not swell the cen
sus of his tribe by judicious distribution
of all his wives relations among those
tepees not already checked off! Oh, if
the truth could ever reach the ears of
the general public what tales of Indian
sagacity might not yet be in store for
them, What annals might not be nm
folded. Dealing with his own, his white
children, who are nonvoters, Uncle Sam
serves out one ration day to each en-
listed soldier.
The wife and the lads and lasses that
tumbled about the married mems quar-
ters in the queer old days were all to be
fed from that one ration, unless, per-
chance, mamma was laundress But
when dealing with the wronged and in
jured red man he could not be too mag
unanimous. Every head counted. The
mulnbling old beldam, great-grand-
mother of counties thousands 2 braced
up from the edge Of the grave for the
occasion. The big bellied little four
year-olds, reveliug III the dirt about the
''seking shambles, the tiny hour-old
pseoose, even many "a puppy, blanket
swathed and slung squaw back, passing
for wee baby, anything he could show
as possessing q spark of Indian life was
duly credited to the warrior lord of the
lodge for another ration, full one.
Cattle might and did shrink, but to the
Indian there is more meat in a lean cow
than III the stall fed OK to the white, for
the reason that everything goes. .
Horns and hooss are the only things the
Indian doesn't eat.
Agents might and did cheat and steal,
but so did the Indian, and many a re-
joicing old sinner has been credited with
q family Of twelve when his sole avail
able domestic assets consisted of two
Gquaws and three children, the papooses
having been borrowed or personated
by bundled up doggies, the grandmother
being public property passed around for
the occasion the others, pickaninnies
painted 50 as to look entirely unlike the
grinning urchins counted in the flock Of
brother Stab-in-the-Darlz. whose people
had just been enumerated. There were
agents who lent themselves to that sort
of thing because the more Indians they
could show as their especial wards, the
more barrels and boxes and bales were
invoiced to that agency and deftly
"raked OFF, Ell route. There was time
when the man who wouldn't make hay
when such q sun shone was looked
upon as an Improbable servant who
couldn't contribute to campaign funds.
"What the devil do you suppose we had
you made agent way up at Gallatin
forT' asked an irate political ssbossr nf 4