, 1892-03-02

of mother; installing her, with nobody
knows what vulgarities and supersti
tons, in the place of instructor, during
the time when the baby mind takes i'm
pressions for life. Do not think this is a
false alarm; it is solemnly true, but be-
cause the impressions are made so young,
the mother attributes them to heredity
or something else and does not suspect
the cause. Do you ever think, unfor-
tunate mother of a timid, nervous con-
yulsive child, that she took her lessons
from a nurse, that she was taught to be
afraid? And you, mother of a lying, de-
ceiving boy, do you suspect where he
learned these things?
Let me assure you that more is imbibed
from nurses, their talk and their ac-
tons, which children are so quick to read,
than is generally suspected; and i'm
pressions, too, that no reasoning of after
years can entirely eradicate. Therefore,
/ say, spare no money to get the very
best help-a mother herself, if possible,
certainly a woman of intelligence, and
concientious in the performance of her
responsible duty. Nor even then give
up your own place to her. Be a mother
all day, enjoy the sweet life of your
baby, and be ready when your husband
comes home to be once more a wife.
Then you can leave the little n with
confidence, and be no less a companion
to your husband han before.
In a word, keep your motherhood and
your wifehood in great measure sepa-
rate. Do not go to the extreme, even of
this-be very sure that papa is acquaint-
ed with the baby and has a personal in
terest in him, but does not tire of him;
a mans endurance'of "bother" is very
limited, do not try it too much. When
nursery days are passed (and the period
of necessary babyhood is really quite
short), the child takes his place in the
family, although of course during his
growing years he should sleep away the
long evening hours. Happy is the child
who has no nurse; whose mother is his
playfellow and his caretaker, so well
provided with efficient help in every
other work that she can spend nearly all
his waking hours with him and leave to
a hireling only the work for him.
An important point is to be sure of
establishing just the right relations be-
tween father and children. Never set
him up as the family bugaboo; never let
"T1l tell papa" have terrors for the poor
little soul. Neither put him in the place
of lawgiver; be yourself the nursery
lawgiver, and when nursery days are
past and the child takes his place in the
family life, help him as early as possible
to be a law unto himself.
The entrance of the baby into the fam
lily brings an added motive for self con-
troll, for in the way you treat your hus-
band you are training your child to do.
Very soon-much before you suspect
that your young daughter observes any
thing-she learns from seeing you how
to treat a husband. Does she see him
''managedT' No matter how adroitly it
is done; no matter how completely his
eyes may be blinded to the mean and des-
picable ways of his wife, the baby girl
sees through it. She detects the I'M
worthy wiles, the small receptions, the
petty lies, which are the weapons of this
vice. Dc you think you can bring her
up into Ways of honesty and fair dealing
while your example is all the other way?
Do not so fatter yourself. By your
deeds you are teaching your baby things
you would be Mortified to think of.
Is your baby a boy? In the same way
yOu UedCH ulIn 10 Dt uulTubululs ul5LOH-
est, double faced anda all the bad things
you would rather die than have him be.
Therefore, if not for your own self re-
spect, for the sake of your babies, never,
never descend to the degradation of
managing" a husband. With your son
there may be still more disastrous results.
If he comes up knowing his mother to be
false, deceitful, his faith in womanhood
itself is undermined. You not only pre-
pare him to accept the common ISLANDERS
of the cheap newspaper press, but you
take from him the only anchor that
could hold him against them-a hearty
belief in his mother.
Again, | say to you, o mother, re-
spect the individuality of your child,
He is yours, you say? In n way his
body may be yours, though only to a
certain extent even that; but his soul
his mind vas never yours and never
will be. He is as much an individual
as you are; he has just as much right to
his own opinions and tastes as you have
to yours. Happy will be the day when
parents will get over the preposterous
notion that they own their children,
body and soull
udNc diIcduy duN l5cu you W DS Nv
nursery lawgiver, but there is another
thing more important still: Carry out
your own laws (what few you NEEDY, even
to administering the extreme penalty for
d~isobedience. Never turn your child
over to any one, especially to its father,
to be punished. There are several rea-
sons aside from the one with which |
began-namely, that whipping, even
striking a blow, is q brutal survival
from barbarous times, degrading to the
mother no less than to the child. A
mother who cannot control her child
without blows should put him, or more
properly herself, into a reformatory at
once; she is unfit to be a mother. Re-
member, 1 am talking to intelligent
women, not to the ignorant classes, who
know no other way to train the infant
mind.
A second bad result of calling in pa
ternal aid is to make the child fear or
hate his father. A third is the almost
certainty of having the punishment too
severe. The delivering of a poor little
terror stricken child into the grasp of a