davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-02-19
GENTLEMEN'S FURNISHING GOODS.

Unlaundered Shirts, sizes
15H, 16, 16H; regular q
price soc; Friday price, 4
Flannelette Shirts, all sizes;
regular price soc; Friday 9
price, 4
White and Gray Merino I'm
dershirts; regular price soc; 4
Friday price, 4
Scarlet ALL Wool Shirts; regu- :
lar price 81. SO; Friday price,
Fine White Cashmere Shirts;
regular price 81, Friday
I. price,
Neckwear-Tecks, Puffs and
Fourth Hands; regular Z
price soc; Friday price, 4
Slater Cotton Half Hose; regu-
lar price 1aHc; Friday price
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-02-19
HANDKERCHIEFS.

Gentlemen's Japanese Silk
Handkerchiefs, Colored Bor-
ders, regular price soc;
Friday price,
Ladies Japanese Silk Hand
kerchiefs, scalloped and en-
broidered, regular price 25c;
Friday price,
Fine Silk Mufflers, choicest
qualities and patterns,
regular price s.. SO; Fri G
day price, vi
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Willing to Sell Cheap.

An amusing incident happened in a
southern city court the other day. A
Jew was on the witness stand testifying
against a negro who had stolen pair OF
pantaloons fnOm his store.
How much are the pants worth ?''
asked Judge Thompson.
Well, judge" responded the witness,
st depends on the man who wants to
buy them. / sell them to one man for
six dollars, to another for five dollars, but
you can have them for four dollars"
Sir responded his honor, in dis
gusted tone Of voice, 81 want you to tell
me what those pants are worth"
"Ah, judge" said the Israelite, take
'em for three dollars if four dollars don't
suit you"
"Look here" thundered the judge, "ii
you don't tell me the exact value of
those pants will send you TO Jail for
contempt Of court"
Wen, then, judge pleaded the OBJ
tuse witness in a most insinuating tone
Of voice, take 'em for two dollars. Ii is
giving them away almost, but you can
have 'em for two dollars"
BY this time the people in the court
room were convulsed with laughter, and
the judge himself was obliged TO forget
his disgust and join heartily in the
laugh. he did not buy the pants" how
eyer.-Grem Bag.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Took His Word for 1t.

At the battle Of Seven Pines or Fair
Oaks the Fifth New Jersey, in eonnec-
ton with the regiments of the Second
brigade and others ably sttested the uni
versal confidence reposed in them by
their commanders. Senator Wade, at
Bull Run, said, Give US 3 brigade of
these JeTseymen and we'll beat the enc
my still"
During the engagement of June l q
Union soldier had hisleg shot of by q
ball from the enemy's artillery.
Captain Ramsey ordered one of his
men an Irishman from New Jersey to
assist the wounded man 10 the rear. Pat,
while giving the necessary assistance,
asked the man how and where he had
been wounded.
My leg was shattered by a cannon
ball during the last attack" was the re-
ply.
On the way TO the hospital s fragment
Of shell took the already badly wounded
mans head entirely of, unnoticed by
Pat, who was carrying his comrade in
his arms.
Upon arriving at the temporary hospi-
tai one Of the surgeons, after looking at
the man, said What did you bring this
man here for?n
Sure, Captain Ramsey told me to"
said Pat
Why, the man is dead; his head is
completely shattered from his body" re-
turned the doctor.
His head, is It? Oh, the blaggard /;
shure and he told me it as his leg, so
he did. ."-Nelr York Recorder.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Afraid He Wouldn't Pass.

He was man well along in middle
age and was willing to be insured. The
agent had prepared his application and
turned him over to the searching scru-
tiny of the accomplished medical ex-
aminer.
4 might as well tell you, doctor, TO be-
gin with. that ours has been family of
fatalities and sudden Deaths" said the
applicant.
The examiner looked serious as he re-
piled:
"Why, you seem to be in excellent
physical condition. What did your
father die OFF,
@Heart disease"
That's bad. How old was he ?"
"Ninety-two."
'Um And your mother?"
"She's gone too. Killed at a crossing"
"And her age?"
Mother was a little over seventy"
'Do you know the age and cause of
your grandfather's deaths ?7 continued.
the examiner.
"Yes, indeed. Fathers father died
Just week after his ninetieth birthday.
They. said he used too much tobacco
Mothers father was only eighty-eight
Falling down stairs finished him."
"And your grandmothers?
zone Of 'em had consumption at eigh-
ty-six and died Of it in no time. The
other was nipped by sanstroke at eigh-
ty-fou-. Oh, they all went quick"
The examiner did not seem so grave as
he asked, have you any brothers and
sistersg'
"One sister and two brothers, was
the answer. "John went out into the
mining country when he was seventy
two, got into trouble there, called a
drunken man liar and was shot. Henry
was drowned at sixty-nine trying to help
save two young fellows that couldn't
swim. Sisters alive. She's awfully care
less; ate a lot of green stuff the day of her
golden wedding, then danced in the even
ing with all the old fellows ont on the
lawn, even after II was raining took her
two days to get over it She'll go
in hurry like the rest some of these
times"
"Well, said the medical gentleman
smiling, q think III chance you and
don't believe your application will be
turned down at the home office. Only
you must look out for yourself Be care
fol about catching hard colds after you
are eighty years old"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

Another notable improvement is the
new gallery, OF enlargement Of the old
one, IN the main hall, by means Of which
the total seating capacity Of the audito-
rum in front Of the band-stand has been
raised to 5000. Taking Of bands, il is
fact that the musical outlook In Pittsburg
for the coming season is brighter than
ever. There viii be enough music TO the
superficial square inch in this city IN Sep
tenber, for instance, to satisfy the most
greedy music-lover. There viii be mel
Odv and 20 spare In the Exposition from
Wednesday evening, Sept 9TH, when It
viii be tiIro.,n open. till 1t closes on Oc-
tober 22d. for first the Great Levy and
his superb band win be there, and from
Oct Sd to the EXp0siti0n's close the no
less renowned Ellis Brooks viii bring his
corps Of musicians TO keep up the supply
of concerts.
There are few things so generally en-
loved the world over as band music. No.
body seems too exalted, nobody too low
lg TO appreciate it. President Harrison
hardly ever misses 4 military band con-
cert in Washington; Queen Victoria, the
other day, had the band of her faToTite
Grenadier Guards play for two hours in
the garden Of her Osborne palace, while
she sat on a terrace near by alone. II 3
band. and none Of the best, starts up 8
marching tune on a city street, everybody
knows how staid merchants, and gamins
from the gutter strive TO get near it. The
blare of brass band viii bring a crowd
quicker than the eloquent invocation of a
DemOsthenes. The directors Of the Ex-
position seem 10 have had an eye TO this
fact when they laid such stress upon the
improvements in the neighbOThOod Of the
band-stand. Behind the stand itself
mirrors have been arranged SO as 20 dis
play the brilliantly uniformed musicians
10 the best advantage. The balcony Op-
pOsite has been carried forward on pill
lars and comfortable seats for hundreds
provided, experimenting the accOmmO-
datiOns upon the floor below for those
who want to hear the concerts. II used
10 be a common complaint that the.e were
not enough seats in the Exposition, but
there viii be no ground for it this year.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Horses Should Wear Light
Shoes.


Horses are commonly made TO carry
too heavy shoes, declares Edwin C.
Powell. The shoe is designed merely TO
protect the hoOf, and the lighter it can be
made and still serve its purpose the better
for the horse Horses that are devoted
to farm work, and on land where there
are few or no stones, may dispense with
shoes, except while the ground is frozen.
This would be of great advantage to the
horse, to say nothing of the saving in the
horseshoer's bill. But most horses re-
quire shoeing and the shoes worn are
generally iron ones. Steel shoes can be
made lighter, will wear longer and the
first cost is not so much more that it
need prevent their being used. Light
horses and driving horses should always
wear them.
For horses of 100 pounds weight and
with well.shaped upright feet, the fore
shoes should weigh about one pound
each and the hind ones twelve ounces.
II four ounces are added to each shoe, let
us see what a difference it will make. In
plowing, eultivating, moving, reaping
and many other farm operations horse
viii walk from ten to twent ymiles a day
and advance about four feet at step. At
each step the horse lifts a half pound
extra on its two feet, or $50 pounds in
every mile. In days work of fifteen
miles the horse would lift 5000 pounds
extra, or nearly FIVE tons. If The force
required to lift this five tons ofiron could
be expended IN the work the horse is
doing much more could be accomplished.
In the light of these facts, is it any Won
der that when young horses begin to
wear shoes they soon grow weary, have
their step shortened and acquire slower
walking gait Chicago Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
The story OF a Pack OF Cards.

The Story of Pack of Cards.
A soldier was arrested and taken before
the Mayor of Glasgow for displaying pack
of cards in church during divine service. In
extenuaiion Of his offense. the soldier made
the following plea Whea see the ace, it
reminds me that there is but one God. The
deuce reminds me Of Father and Son The
tray reminds me Of Father, Son and Holy
Ghost The four reminds me OF the four
Eyangelists who preached, Matthew, Marx,
Luke and John. The fige reminds me Of
the five Wise Virgins who trimmed their
lamps. There were ten, but five were wise
and five were foolish. The SIX reminds me
that in six days the lord made heaven and
earth. Theseven reminds me that the Lord
rested ON the seventh day from the great
work. The eight reminds me OF the eight
righteous persons vino were saved from the
Deluge Noah, his wife, three sons, and
their wives. The nine reminds me OF the
nine lepers that were cleansed by our Savior
There were nine out often who never re-
turned thanks. The ten reminds me ofthe
ten commandments. The king reminds me
Of the King of Heaven, which is God Al
mighty. The queen reminds me of the
Queen Of Sheba, who visited Solomon. She
brought with her fifty boys and girls, all
dressed in boys apparel, for King Solomon
to tell which were boys and which were
girls The King sent for water and bade
them wash. The girls washed to the el-
bows, the boys to the wrists The knave
reminds me Of the constable who brought
me here. There are three hundred and six
ty-fiTe spots on a deck of cards; there are
the same number Of days in year. There
are fifiy-two cards in a pack in year there
are the same number Of weeks. There are
twelve picture cards. representing the twelve
months in a year, and on counting the
tricks find thirteen, the number Of weeks
in a quarter
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Wise Words.

Love is loaded.
Love is twin to sor row.
Hate is love gone mad.
Love cannot be hidden.
II is an art TO lie success sfully.
Hunger makes honey of moIasses.
To some hope is but a century plant.
Flattery is not always without profit.
Justice without charity is a monster.
Even the meanest lie has some beliey-
ers.
The crookeder man can make other
people look the straighter he thinks he
is himself
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Noah Outdone.

Jenny-Isn't it nasty to have such fire.
quent rains?
Believes; but then it is much nicer
here than in England.
May-Why so?
Belle-Beeause they have had steady
reign there for sixty years.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Guara nteed Cure.

We authorize our adver rtised druggist
to sell DIR. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption Coughs and Colds, upon this
condition. Ifyou are afflicted with a
Cough, Cold, or any Lung, Throat or
Chest trouble, and will use this remedy
as directed, giving it a fair trial, and ex-
Perienee no benefit you may return the
bottle and have your money refunded.
We could not make this offer did We not
know that DIR. Kings New Discovery
could be relied on. Itnever disappoints.
Trial bottles free at J. \. Snyder's drug
store lerge size 50c. and 81.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

stony Point has advanced the price OF
real estate throughout the entire neigh
borhood. There are houses in Chester
county in which the bearers Of nearly
ali the great names Of the american rev.
olution. as well as many Of the leaders
Of Great Britain's forces, have slept
Whether such associations advance the
prise Of real estate depends upon what
store the people set by such things Sem
ator Quay is said to have paid $4,000
for 40 acres, or about S77 per acre
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
Eminent Facts.

The question is often asked and scarcely
ever answered, why whiskey made now is
not as pure and reliable as it was forty years
ago. 1t is never the less a fact that it is
made purer and better to-day than at that
time. With the improved methods fnsil
oil and other impurities are entirely elimina-
ted. A sworn statement as to the purity,
age and quality of the whiskey sold is fur
nished by one dealer who adyertises full
quarts, six year old pure Penna Rye, at
SI.Oo per quart, or six quarts for 500 Sill
yer Age Si5O per quart. Duquesne sI-25
per quart. Port, Sherry, Sweet California
Wines at SOC. A complete catalogue and
price list of all foreign and domestic liquors
mailed on application by
MAX KLEIN,
50 Federal ST., Allegheny, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
RuckIen,s Arnica saIve.

The best SAlve inthe world for ca Is,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
quired. It's guaranteed 20 give perfect
satisfaction, or money refunded. Price
% cents per box. For sale by ]. \. Sny-
der.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

Mr. John Carpenter, of Goodland, Ind,
says: tried Chamberlain'sC Collie, Chol-
era and Diarrhea remedy, for diarrhea
and severe cramps and pains in the stom-
ach and bowels with the best results. In
the worst cases never had to give more
than the third dose TO effect a cure. In
most cases one dose will do. Besides its
other good qualities tits pleasant TO take"
p and so cent bottles for sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

Usually the sitting posture and more or
ess perfect stiffness are supposed 20 20
e5gether, but there is a plot ON foot in
the shadow Of the Exposition 10 upset
This notion. At the western end Of the
main building, In the center of the trim
little park huge merry -gO-TOund, OF the
most modern pattern, run by steam, has
been erected, and there the unique JOYS
0f flying through the air VIII be distrib-
ated. Taking everything into cOnsidera-
lion, there VIII be more entertainment in
he Exposition this season than there has
been ever before. II is hardly necessary
% tell anybody al this late day Of LeYy's
wonderful ability as . cornetist, or 70 en-
large upon the excellency Of the band Of
which he is leader. For years The high
lOtes of Leyy's cornet have been ringing
through the world. and nobody has ap-
orOached his mastery of that instrument.
Besides the concerts, and Prof. Crom-
wells lectures-which are so graphically
and effectively illustrated with stereoptic
views that they become practically tours
through the world for those who hear
them-and all the other special features
provided by an Ingenious and generous
management, there are the exhibits Of
Pittsburg's products and manufactures,
and Of her finest imported merchandise;
and last, 5ut not least, the very crowds
0f visitors, themselves, who represent
The intelligence, culture. wealth and pa
triOtism Of the great district Of which
Pittsburg is the center.
PittSburg promises 70 be looking its
very best about September. The holi-
day-makers viii have returned from
shore and mountain. the great stores will
be spick- and-span from the renovators'
hands, and all the theatres viii be open.
the parks, which are now beautiful fea-
ture Of the city, viii be about TO don
their Fail hHcry, and perhsps a political
parade 7 two win add new favor 10 civic
lie. IL Is only right TO emphasize the
statement that Piiisburg takes pride in
her new parks; in the grand area OF
groves, gardens and drives now TO be
found At Schenley Park. and in the breczr
heights and glorious views TO be found
81 Highland Park. These lovely breath
Ing spots Of recent creation. nav be
reached now by the visitor with
ease, thanks 10 the various rapid transit
lines Of cable and electric cars which
gridirOn the city and its suburbs. In
deed, the street car system Of Pittsburg
IN Itself must prove an object OF the vls-
TORS wondering attention.
JOINS KAUFMAN.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
They We're.

Johnny Wasn't them old Romans
corkers2
Jimmy-How's that
Johnny-Why, think O. havin' these
ere Roman candles in a bedroom
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
ChamberIain's Eye and Skin
Ointment

A certain cure for Chronic Sore Eyes,
letter, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Old
Chronic Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema, Itch,
Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples and
Piles 1t IS cooling and soothing. Hun
dreds Of cases have been cured by it af-
ter all other treatment had failed. 1t is
put up in 25 and so cent boxes.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

During the epidemic Of flux in this
county, in 1855, l had hard work to keep
a supply of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhea Remedy on hand. Peo-
pie often came ten or twelve miles in the
night to geta bottle Of the remedy. l
have been selling patent medicines for
the past ten years and find that it has
given better satisfaction in cases Of diar-
rh9a and flux than any other medicine
have ever handled. II. Benham,
Druggist, Golcondo, Pope Co, III. Over
five hundred bottles of this remedy have
been sold in that county during the epi-
demic referred to. 1t was perfect sue
cess and the only remedy that did cure
the worst cases. Dozens Of persons there
will certify that it saved their lives In
four other epidemics of bowel complaint
this remedy was equally successful.
25 and so cent bottles for sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
JomNs-KAuFMAsx.

I have been q great sufferer from dry
eatarrh for many years, and tried ma
ny remedies, but none did me so much
benefit as Ely's Cream Balm. Il COM
pletely cured me.-M. J. Lally, Sc Wood
ward Ave, Boston Highlands. Mass.
Amer using Ely's Cream Balm two
months I was surprised to find that the
right nostril, which was closed for over
twenty years, was open and free as the
other, and can use it nov as could not
do for many years. I feel very thankful
R II. Cressengham, 20 18th Street,
Brooklyn.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

Master Bobby's papa is the happy
owner Of a Matching machine. The 9TH
er day as the former was watching a
chick energefically breaking its way
through the shell he inquired
Il zee how he gets cut, but how ever
did he 90 TO work to get in p
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

Western Belle-Here, paw, have bor-
rowed Mr.. Tenderfoot's 22-caliber reyol-
yer.
Paw-What yer dOin' with that toy
Western Belief want you to pierce
my ears SOS 1 can wear the ear rings
Howling Hank gave me.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

You 90 into the stores and yOu VIII End
fnfId9rs and nainters in possessions glo-
rjes Of dry goods and millinery are
eclipsed for the time. Though you can
moi oct in there 20 sec the interior OF the
theatres uresenls the ssme spect2cie-tne
paint-brush is the sceptre OF the klng,
and the gorgeous manager has 20 don hls
hat to the decorator.
There is no place IN PittsbUrg where
the hum Of preparation during august IS
louder than in the huge pie OF red brlck
al the point; and this year Is no excep-
ZION 70 the rule in the halls OF the Expo-
sitiou. where for many weeks already
the Horkmcn have been busy getting the
great building into shape for the season
now rapidly approaching Every day
sees an increase in the hustle and clamor
Il the Exposition, for the exhibitors have
their booths and showcases 10 prepare
and there IS 8 race 70 see who shah sur
mass the record Of the past, most OF al.
The management Of the Exposition has
set A good example 10 every one by max
ing many impOrtsut Improvements, in
cl1dine a change OF two that viii be
genuine surprise to all who visit the Ex-
Tosifiou next month. For instance,
where the picture galleries were last
wear A beautiful little concert or lecture
han has been erected. II Is entirely pan
eUed from floor TO ceiling with polished
yellow pine, and consequently has an en-
ineptly cheerful air which VIII be en-
HANGED by the display Of ineandeseent
electric lights upon the wall. Here It Is
that Professor Cromwell viii give those
wonderful lectures with the aid OF his
EtereopticOn.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

"What did you mean by telling that
internal lie ?"
What lie ?"
You said you were with Grant at the
battle of Bull Run. Grant was not at
Bull Ran at all"
Wasn't be ?"
q No, he wasn't"
"Well, then, there amt no lie out, for
l wasn't there either"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24

As general liniment for sprains and
bruises or for rheumatism, lame back,
deep seated or muscular pains, Chamber
lain's Pain Balm is unrivaled.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
BASTARD.
CONDENSED TIME TABLES.
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.

Somerset and Cambria Branch
NORTHWARD.
JolnsolrH Na1 Eypness.-Reckwood $50 q. m. f..
Somerset 4:l0 StoyestOwn i:j2, HOOyeSyille
5.cS. Johast0wn. 6:lO.
Johnsi0irl Mad Erprss.-fs0ckwood fi.S5 e. m.
Somerset ll;5s. StOyestOwn l2-25, Hooversville
l2;S7, JOhnstown l:SG p NJ
sJ1ARstoiDi riR0dcti0n-RoekwoOd5 8 20 p. m 4,
Somerset 6:0S p. m, stOyest0wn G.3l p. m.
HoOyersyille GAP p. m, JohnstOwn 7:35 ?. m.
Sunday Enledaiion-Rockwood n:S5 a. m.
Somerset, ll:5s-
SOUTHWARK.
AaR-Johnstown 7,45 a m, Hooversville s.91
stoyestown SIS, Somerset 9.l6, lockwood
$50
Ezpress-Johnstown $50 p. m. HooversviIle 416
stoyestown 40. Somerset SOL, lockwood
5.2.
Sunday Ouig-Johnst0wn $50 A. m, HoOversville
Si6 a. m, StOyeStOwn 80 a. m, Somerset
l0:l a. m, lockwood los q. m
Sunday Aeeelaodasioa-somerset sol D. m.
Redwood SIS m.
"Daily.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-24
NEws LETTER.)

PTTTsBURe, Aug. IS,
OF course Pittsbura
is dull and dreadful
" hot now, bat
there are signs Of q
festive awakening IN
the Pan already.
Daring July and Au-
gust all this growing
city seems 20 be get
ting re ady 70 DO
business in the lat
ter half Of the year.