St. Landry democrat., 1892-01-23
A SERIOUS CASE.


i New York Weekly.
SERIOUS CASE.
Customer-My watch won't go.
Jeweler examining it)-Myl my
Have you been in railroad collision?
Customer Surprised why, no.
Jeweler STANDARDIZATION you undress
you should not throw your vest down on
the floor when your watch is in the
pocket.
Customer (thoughtfulIy)-I never do.
I have been exceedingly careful with
that watch. Don't know how it got hurt.
How long will it take to fix it?
Jeweler (after another examination -
You'd better leave it here at least week
but if you can get along without it, L
would advise two weeks.
Customer-Very we'll. Do it up right.
Good-day.
Jeweler to assistant Hans, blow that
speck Of dust off this wheel and charge
up s. for repairs. Good News.
NAUTICAL NOTE.
t''Did you hear about the singer, Mr..
II. Tenor"
"No. What was it,"
ale was drowned on the high sea-"
GLOW so ~
''He was singing, when he struck the
high G with difficulty, and burst Il blood
vessel, which filled his lungs and drowned
him. Philadelphia Press.
CERTAIN CURE.
She talking confidently to her bosom
has stopped drinking entirely. | have
not detected the odor of liquor about him
since our wedding day.
" Was it difficult for him to stop p"
inquired the bosom friend
"Oh, no not at all. He just eats
cloves. He says that is a certain cure"
i New York Herald.
NEVER DONE.
q" am now convinced" said Tomp-
kins, ''that women's work is never done"
What leads you to that conviction?
asked Smythe.
The fact that Mrs. Tompkins, after
working me half the night for sealskin
sacque began blithely this morning on a
new set of parlor furniture. = New York
Herald.
CONTAGIOUS IN THEIR CASE.
Mr.. Noopop-Doctor, is insomnia con-
tagious:
DIR. Paresis-Certainly not, sir What
made you ask that
Mr.. Noopop-Because | notice that
when baby is troubled with insomnia my
wife and | invariably catch it too
Life.
oUT-HERODED HERoD.
"Theres man in Baltimore who's the
lucky possessor of Benjamin Franklin's
watch"
"That's nothing. know a man who
has Adams apple. - The jewelers. Cir
cular.
A KICKER.
Mrs. Slimdiet-1s there anything can
put in your room to add to your comfort ?
New Boarder-I notice there is no
thermometer on the stove; how do you
know when it is going p New, York
Sun.
THE DAY FOR VEAL.
Chappio-When you feed the dog can
| go along?
Ethel-If you like. This is his day
for veal New York Herald.
HIS INFERENCE.
Il wish you would be consistent.
John said a meek wife, "You speak
IN praise of me in public and you are
constantly finding fault with me at
nome.
"Huh! You don't want me to find |
:ault with you in public, too, do your
MORAL COURAGE.
Teacher what was George Wash
ngton noted?
Dick Hicks He told the truth when
Questioned about his family tree
Brooklyn Life.
at takes two women long time to say
70 ,d-by to each other, Eve heard "
Yes"
But notice that it takes a young
nan and young woman great deal
onger. '-[New York Press.
MISERLY.
"She's an awful mean woman-that
IRIS. Bunker"
She is, indeed. She never lets any
hing get away from her. really be-
ieve she would even keep a secret
Puck.
HER 'HUBBY's TEACHINGS.
Friend-Why do you get married so
Don after the death of your husband?
Widow-My dear, if there was any
ne thing that my poor dead and gone
ashland insisted upon, in season and out,
was that | should never put off till to-
borrow what | could do to-day New
,ork Weekly.