The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1892-07-26
HE LIKES US.
TIE SAGE OF CARTERSTILLE TELLS
OF HIS EXPERIENCE
When He Visits tho Gate City-The Fads
Were Popular and Just Out" But
They Get tho Philosopher In Trouble.

| my friends, but L reckon L Will nave TO stay
! at home. [ can't keep up with Atlanta
society It is demoralizing and keeps me
on strain. Every time l go L discover
some new custom or fad or fancy, and it
makes me conscious of my antiquity. If
/ dine out or take tea with old friends
there's a lot of things all round my plate
that / don't know what to do with, and it
keeps me uneasy for fear I'll make a blum
der. If there are two knives l don't know
which one to eat WITH though l found out
| later that one was butter knife. That
| is very late fad. There were three
| spoons, which, like faith, were the evil
dences of things not seen. 1t takes good
| deal of faith, for there were dishes handed
me to partake of that l couldent identity.
] declined all the strange things and eX-
| planned to the hostess that | was not very
well and had TO diet myself Iced tea used
| to be fad, but that has gone out, thank
| goodness. Sometimes | have to do shop
ping for my folks, but l think they have
recently determined to discharge me. Not
| long ago L was requested to get a pair of
| Oxford ties, No. ,, letter ID, and the gen
| tleman clerk showed me some with spring
| heels and said they were all the style now,
so | supposed it was a right fresh fad, and
as | dislike these high heels, l bought them.
| supreme, and as l took them back and the
clerk apologized by saying he thought that
l. wanted them for Il school girl Next
time they wanted II storm dirge blazer, No.
81. The clerk dldnt have the storm dirge,
but had the latest thing out, just fresh
| from New York, and persuaded me to take
1t. 1t proved to be tWilled flannel,
| Stitched with cotton thread, and so | had
to take that back. There is one good trait
about my family. If they can't get the
|
substitute and sometimes | can't find the
precise thing. Some of the old men
| seem to be very fond of standing around
| the fashionable stores on Whitehall /
foupd my friend George Affair leaning
against the marble easement at High $
| beautiful front. | thought he was waiting
| for somebody who was inside, and so |
| paused to keep him company, and noticed
| how fondly he salutcd TIE beautiful ladies
who went in and out He seemed 10 know
had known him ever since they were chill
| dren, and he looked upon them with patcr-
| nal Affections. ! caught the coutagion. too
and fingered with aim at the threshold
ana as We slowly walked away his bcanlng
countenance seemed TO say, II have thee
not, and yet | see thee STILL Farewell,
| sweet darilnSS till | come again
MY boys have friend in Atlanta who
has uncommon regard for me. say I'M
common, for it is not common for young
interest III veterans [ know he feels an i'll
terest by the way he did. He invited me
to ride with liim and view the suburbs.
| | wanted to take the first train for home
but to please INN and my boys I accepted
| his kind inyitation. ! thought he would
come with o senteel phaeton and a pair of
| gentle horses aud safe driver and that
| ! couldf luNuriatc with ease and comfort
| | had heard thar he had Il very fine turn
| out. ana anticipated one that hung low
| St..i.
| drove UP 10 the cu,hn@ at Dr. Wegtnlore-
| lands Office. hardly knew what the con
trlYancc was. It had two stories and no
vcranda--a double-declcr-with seats for
| two on top and seats for nobody down be
| Iowa kind of English hunting WagoIl--that
perched 4 man up hich cuough to see
deer or Il rabbit half Il mile away and to
shoot him over Il Hill if necessary. The
lower story was ccased up iEe cason and
had apartments for ammunition. solid and
fluid and extra guns and Il dog or two. 1t
was empty and opened behind like a bread
wagon My friend gave me 30 time to
deliberate or i should have crawlcd in the
rear, but he said. Get up, major" in Il
dident want to mortify him Or show
the white feather so | climbed on the hub
and then to the top of the wheel, and f1om
get to the pinnacle, but
had hardly settled myself when
the concern began to move forward with
great alacrity. | l:nly discovered that
there was no dashboard II catch n naIl-nO
nothing but Il slop.ng foothOarG for your
feet to brace against There was no side
arms to hold to and the motion of the
concern was like the old-time stage coach
backwards and mountaineering like Il
cradle, and there was no salvation for me
except the weight of my corpOrocity asd TO
keep my feet we'll braced against that STOP
ing footboard. He seemed to know how to
handle the lines but tie off horse was q
terror and for half Il mile he cut up
aous. There was Il contrapti)n to the CON
Germ that was called a hood, but it WAS down
and that gave me Il chance to grab the ribs
which l did with my left land
in spasmodic maIhar- The ~
" and my friend walloped him like he
meant business and talked all the time as
unconccrnedly as if we were in a funeral
procession. ] felt like we were and that
concern oscilIated but L dident oSciIlate
with it in graceful fluctuations and ever
and anon had to duck my head to dodge
the dropping limbs Of the shade trees. Peo-
pie stopped to gaze and l thought of John
Gipin and his famous ride / saw some
ladies smile but l don't know whether they
were pitying me or admiring my friend.
We passed the street cars and crossed
and rccrossed the iron rails, time and
again. and ground the fire out of the bel
on that car threw kiss ut you" Kisses
were of no consequence just then, but [
would hive given SO to have been in the
ear beside her. | was Illuminating about
being precpitatcd among the horses heels
or down upon the cruel stones that lined
the pavement. | thought of dSlocatcd hips
and broken bones and hemorrhages and Il
coffin for one ooh, tnat | was down in the
casion," l sighed Handicapped with ayoir
dupos and gravity, l couldent jump ten
feet in safety for there is no spring in my
muscles-no flexors and retexors to make
up for lost motion. By and by the horses
got subdued and l made bold
20 TO draw a long breath and
to inquire who lived here and who lived
there until we got to the clubhouse at the
exposition grounds and stopped to rest and
to call for lemonades. From there we
rode to Jackson street and then to lnlnan
Park, and then our elevated transport was
reversed and we started back to the city.
At Z O'Clock we reached the curbStone
from whence W. started. descended
from my perilous roost with great care and
caution and full of gratitude to my Maker
and many thanks To my friend for his
good intentions, but with mental reSer
walton that | will never get caught Ill such
a trap again as long as | live. No more
of your elevated transports for me. Ill
take Il slide first, or wheeibarroW. They
wanted me to the city, to overlook the
pedestrian herd that perambulatcs the side
,ta1 ltn~ a fI.l =