Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-05-05

presumably comes from Chicago, From
that citv DR.. Teed, with 20 OF his recently
attained angels, has disappeared. Disap-
peared as completely a. though his
heaAen had become as visionary In
reality as it seems to be to the
average ordinary mortal who is not among
the elect of the elected and had slowly
faded away. 1t may be that the contingent
has done more practical thing
and DR.. Teed will eventually bob
up serenely with his numerous
family in Economy to shower down heav-
enly blessings on the peace-loving, econom-
ical Germans out at the quiet little village
bv his divine presence and incidentally to
enjoy the blessings of the fat roll of green
backs the frugal Economics have slowed
away.
The circumstances attending Dr. Teed's
disappearance are interesting to say the
least. He returned to his home in Chicago
called the College of Life or Heaven,
which WAS crowded with throng of local
angels. Dr. Teed also brought back a num-
Der of most fascinatingly wealthy females
from the great State of the West. DR..
Teed called the California contingents his
angels Just the same as he called mis- local
followers But DR.. Teed realized there
might accidentally be something very like
unbeheavenly little melees between Calitor-
mia angels and local angels, if they were
all crowded into the little College of Life.
Starting a Second Heaven.
Consequently he exercised his divine
brain and concluded that the two bands OF
angels would get along much better
ii there was division, as distance
lends enchantment in Cyrus heaven
as il does in the more
prosaic earth Therefore the farseeing
CYRUS looked about him and decided upon
starting heaven No. 2, and for
that purpose purchased, with his
California angels money, a nice
little rural heaven in picturesque
suburb OF Chicago named Washington
Heights. There he sounded his mighty voice
in the ears of his angels and t1utter OF ex-
citement passed through the Chicago heaven.
1t was different at Washington Heights.
There was a lutter out there. too, but 1t
was of different kind. 1t was hutter of
indignation. The residents of Washington
Heights are aristocratic and exclusive.
They objected to the fitting about of angels
and also to the enthusing presence OF MIR.
Messiah Doctor Cyrus iced.
There is well developed belief among
the people of Washington Heights that
Cyrus is only man and that his claims TO
he of divine origin are not in strict accor-
dance with the truth, but Cyrus and his
angels say these maligners are envious and
Jealous because they have no band of angels
in their wake. However that may be, time,
DIR. iced and the press will duly tell.
The male population of Washington
Heights were not the Obectors. 1t was the
fair sex. The California contingent was
Jighttul females, with wealth
of sctt, silken tresses, languishing
dark eyes, sylph-like forms. queen
" carriages and other attributes
that startle certain males into the COM
initial of various rash acts and startle the
aforesaid certain males better halls into
other rash acts But DIR. Teed cared not tor
these remarks, for he smiled serenely and
went TO work.
Setting Fast Pace for Angels.
He told his California angels they could
revel in his delightful company in WASH
ington Heights and incidentally could cook
and sweep and darn stockings and wash
dishes ard make beds and paint fences and
dig gardens and hoe potatoes and milk
cows and do other delightful little things
that go to make country heaven so allur-
ing. And the angels were glad. All this
Dr Teed said he had done and they could
do. Whether he really did, and they could
really dO was altogether different matter.
There are other goings on in Economy
besides the Teed matter. The Auditor is at
work, and the Auditor is liable to bring to
light various nnkind things that have been
done to the much-enduring Economics bv
various wOrldlings with a consuming de-
sire for the pelt of the Economics.
For years past the society has been
the so-ca!led mark for schemers and con-
tidence men. Their Golfers have been gently
broken omen and their cash politely taken.
The Economics have always been anxious for
methods whereby they could advan!ageously
place their people, and in consequence,
when new industries would come about,
they were ready and willing to take them
up and give them trial.
Economics systematically Robbed
1t has been by these good traits that they
have been Systematically robbed, to use a
harsh although not inapplicable term. 1t
has long been a matter OF common talk
among outsiders that men with
clever ideas could come into the
society, and could, in very short
time, completely ingratiate themselves
and their ideas into the good graces of the
elders and have their schemes adopted.
But now there will be different method of
procedure. The Auditor was appointed
month ago, and so far has made no state
meDt, but it will evidently be of sensa-
tional character when it is done.
Henry Feight, the deposed Economic,
will to-day file bill in equity in the court
of Beaver county, praying the Court to re-
instate him as a member, as he was turned
out OF the society without a hearing, and, as
the society is a financial corporation, that
an illegal action was clearly taken.
InHATTNc roCp ppIpnr