The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1892-03-20
HE WAS TOO GURUS"
II Isn't Always Good for a Man to Know
Zoo Much.


Zoo Much.
young man" said Davy, leaning for
ward and tapping Jacks sleeve warningly,
don't you be cnr'usl Pm jes' comm from
the fun'rol of a man who was cur'usl Tell
You what, he was the cur'usest man the
Lord ever turned loose-he wus thatl An
he wus allus so-yes, sir! Taggert his
name wus, Davy Taggert. My, when ne
wasn't nothin but baby he got present
Of n Noah's ark. Pretty soon he was awiul
sick. Come to find out he'd eaten SheIn,
two sheep and half elephant; wanted TO
see what they wuz made OF.
"When he was a bit bigger he put his
hand in q hornets nest TO see If they'd
sting as bad ~ Bill Hervy said they would.
He was mos blind for a spell. One day he
climbed up the ladder of his pas windmill
10 find out what made the tin rooster pint
difTrunt ways at diffrunt times. There
come a cyclone He was blo-Ted of. The
doctor had 20 set his right arm an his left
leg. He wus jes as contrary as he was
GURUS. What didn't consarn him he
wouldn't let alone An he was unfortinet
as he was contrary. But that wus the
material evolutionment of his cussedneSs.
Now, there was Elibu Burns went an
tole him how hay dropped through the
newfangled shoots in the Wilder Smiths
barn EASTERN lightnin. What does that
young limb of Davy Taggart do but goes
m into the loft an lets hisself slide down
with the hay-jes to find out. Bumped!
The bump on his head wus the size OF a
turkey aig, not to chroniclate the fact that
old Bet nearly chawed his pants oil atOre
he scrambled out.
Next? Well, there weren't any special
next with him. 1t was all next. His pa
come TO die. | expect 'twus contiustera-
ton about Davy caused the decease. Any
how. onct he heard if body drank p'ison
an then drank lots of warm water with
mustard IN it it wouldn't hurt him n
speck. so when he found a little bottle
marked. P'ison.' he drank what wus in it.
Then he started 10 get the mustard and
water. But he Topped a-scroggin in no
time. They run far the doctor. He come
with stomach pump. After Jots OF work,
he said he guessed Davy wouldn't die yet
fer awhile.
"Davy,' cries his mother, will We prom
Use me We win stop investigationingY
"1-yupl-will-when l find out all
want-yup-to known
FINALLY Davy growed up. He got a
girl. She was nice girl. He made up
his mind to marry her He asked her what
her pa died Of What her grandpa died OF.
What her grandaunt died of. If she was
skeerd of mice. If she liked children. If
she could make bread. If she ate onions
If she was wasteful with starch. If she
mt nm sauerkraut the way his ma did
And if she liked ministers. don't know
what she said TO the rest, but she an
swered:
"I don't like the average minister
"'Come to my arms says Davy; Tll
make you Mrs. Taggert.'
"'Not much she says. Il haven't a
hankerin fur preachers, but they amt as
ornery as a man that wants to know a
blame sight too much
IAN she married preacher. As for
Davy, they sent him up to Geneva lake to
vegetate. On the beach he met lovely
woman. They got to talkin. He was
slicked up you see. An pretty soon he
thought she wus as nice as could be.
Don't We think am mighty nice fel
lah?' he says.
"'Oh, yesp she says, but she looked
scared.
He wasn't He was regular little
gopher of a chap He had jerky ways and
gimlet eyes.
"'Air we Old" he asked.
Twenty-Five says She
"'Have we cornsY
zone
allow much do We weight
"'One hundred and twenty
care you engaged
eff there are any more questions you'd
| like to ask, she replied somewhat tartly,
| my husband will answer them, Tobias
Tobias, he come Davy got off with
| pair of black eyes that time. He started
west In Omaha he got a job sellin soap.
| That suited him. There was a inquiry in
it. He used TO ask every one that passed.
DO you use Apples soap?
Zone day there was motor comm.
! Davy he run. i want 10 find out he
said, If / can't git ahead of itP An he
skooted along the track. Pm on my way
home from his fan'rol. They took him up
with blottin paper. Here's my station.
| Goodby. Don't be GURUS, boys. a man
don't need TO know too much, any morn
cat needs two tailsl Good luckP'-Chi-
cago Herald.