The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-04-07
SEEGER Bros. Extract teeth
without pain.
AN lNOlkRUBBER NAVY.
Tie Ex-Auditor of Indiana Thinks IRON
clads Must Give way to Rubber.


As the man was going out of the big
hotel he whispered TO me i'll sepulchral
tones, "Col. Rice is not right in his
upper story-he IS clean daft"
In a few minutes | saw the full
moon. jocund face of Col. James H.
Rice, ex-auditor of Indiana. coming
from the elevator. He looked per-
fectly sane, and | asked him who his
friend was that had just departed.
That man." said the colonel. is
promoter and has not given me a mo-
ment's rest since | arrived in the city.
I've just let him in on the ground floor
of an idea of mine ana have shown
him illustrations of it. | offered to
have him elected vice president of a
company that is not formed. If my
idea is put into execution it will revo-
lutioniZe naval warfare, and an iron
clad will be as harmless as a barge
carrying load of Sunday school eX-
cursionists."
The colonel invited me to his room,
where | saw number of illustrations
in the rough of queer looking ships. |
asked him to explain them. His eyes
beamed with pleasure as he proceeded
to elucidate his ideas. The cuts" he
said. represent war vessels armored
with tough indiarubber Each vessel
is protected with rubber seven feet in
thickness and with enough give or
elasticity to it to send the largest ball
ever fired against it bounding back in
to the water. | admit that the COM
mon rubber is not of sufficient tough
ness to resist the impact of the ordi-
nary cannon ball, but mind You the
rubber | intend to use is not common.
Every man who makes an innovation
and relegates established methods to
the past is in the beginning considered
a crank. But do not mind any little
epithet of that kind"
What is the tall spire in the YES
sels?"
That" said the scientific colonel,
"is the lookout. 1t is a tower that can
be telescoped in second to the surface
of the vessels deck and erected in the
sam space of time. 1t is 800 feet
high. There is only one smokestack
and it can be taken down in minute.
Cannons? All. that is a secret, but |
shall tell you because YOU are not a
promoter. In the rear of the vessel
there is a turret tower with four de-
structive guns. You don't see it. eh?
Well, neither do |. but if the enemy
appeared by manipulating machinery
there would rise from the huh of the
vessel turret, protected by indiarub-
ber and ready to sink a fleet of iron
clads. Everything on the deck Of my
indiarubber vessel can be dropped be-
low in few moments y
Have you ever studied that branch
of mathematics which treats of ira jec-
torv?"
The colonel had, and added: MY
boy, a ball dropped on the deck OF one
of my vessels would bound a mile
high. There is absolutely no powder
or force strong enough to drive ball
into the rubber"
"One more question, colonel. How
long have you had this peculiar elastic
idea?"
at came to me as an inspiration five
years ago. | was in Chicago and a
weaZened faced man with a voice that
sounded like the noise made by tear
ing calico made life miserable to me.
He had scheme and for week he
became my shadow, trying to get me
to 90 into it. l worked out the india
rubber vessel and for three hours |
earnestly explained to him the fortune
in it if he would accept the vice presi-
dency. From that time he has never
said scheme to me again. | have
shown it to dozens of promoters and
have talked so much about it that |
really think some kind of rubber can
be made to resist and throw back cam
non balls"
"Have you mentioned your idea to
Gen. Tracy. secretary of the navy?"
Il am democrat" said the colonel,
proudly. You wait until a democratic
president is elected"
Col. Rice is humorist and practi-
Cal joker.-N. YHerdId.
The standing army of the Argentine
Republic numbers 5000 men. and
there are over fifty generals on the
active list. This gives general to
about every hundred other warriors of
all lower grades. At this ratio, when
the officers are all accounted for, the
poor private must be a very lonesome
creature. They manage these things
still better in some republics, where
every man in the army is an officer
OF some sort.
The Spaniards are the most expert
smokers in the world. A Spaniard
takes a heavy pull at his cigarette. iu-
hales it, takes up a wine skin or wine
bottle. pours halfpint down his
throat, holding the vessel a foot from
his mouth and not spilling drop. and
then with sigh of satisfaction closes
his eyes and exhales the smoke from
his nose aud mouth in clouds. He will
also inhale the smoke, converse for IA
few minutes in natural manner and
then blow out the smoke.