The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1892-03-19
A MECHANICAL WONDER.

Spilkins was progressive man. He
didn't believe that we as people are
perpetually standing still; nothing OF
the sort He thought that we are
slowly but surely rising to better and
nobler things, and Spilkins believed
in keeping up with the times
Some time ago man was around
taking orders for new kind OF chair
called the Mechanical Wonder, and. OF
course. he called upon Mr. Spilkins
This was indeed the wonder OF the
world. the man said. and It's invention
indicated the approach OF golden
millennium. He declared most posi-
lively that the chair was destined to
revolutionize the whole domestic econ
omy OF the civilized world.
1t was indeed a wonder in it's wav
Tor 1t was such vast and complicated
mass OF springs, pulleys. clock-work
and extensions that II was almost the
labor OF lifetime to learn to operate
1t with any fair degree OF success. The
concern was so big and heavy that it
had to be taken to pieces and carried
through an ordinary doorway. Sec
ton at time, and the price OF 1t was
the snug little sum OF $85; but this
made not particle OF difference.
Spilkins signed the order book.
A few weeks later the Mechanical
Wonder arrived and after hard half
days work on the part OF both agent
and purchaser. the new machine was
set up in the little back parlor; then
the salesman took his departure. A
proud and happy man was Mr.. Spill
kins
The new chair took up about half
OF the available space in the tiny
apartment for it was full-grown
and able bodied chair; not one of these
diminutive affairs too small for any
one but little child to sit down in.
The comfortable was crowded back
into corner the stove had to be set
back. the bookcase was tipped over
and pushed under the piano and all
the other chairs except one or TWO
were banished to the attic. But all
this signifies nothing. Wasn't the
chair a Mechanical Wonder?
Accompanying 1t was a book OF d.
rections about as big as double num-
Der library, and this the happy Mr..
Spilkins began to study tho moment
the door closed upon the man who set
up the vast machine of manifold USE
fulness At last he ventured to seat
himself in the contrivance and touched
a spring.
Slowly and noiselessly the pulleys
revolved. and the chair gently ex.
tended itself into couch as soft and
inviting as the downiest feather-bed.
Pressing another spring arrested its
motion. and yet another caused it to
resume its former position and appear
ance. Spilkins was delighted. The
new chair was wonder indeed.
Come and try il, my dear. :" said
he to his wife with good deal of
satisfaction. II never saw anything
like it and shall never rest easy till
have mastered all its many secrets.
How did we ever keep house as long
as we have without Mechanical
WonderP"
OF course Mrs. Spilkins was willing
enough to try the new chair so she
seated herself in it without particle
OF objection. She had all the curiosi-
ty OF Mother Eve located somewhere
about her handsome yet ample proper
tions. Mrs. S. could scarcely be called
dwarf without some Improperly.
See. Julia. Spilkins went on. II
just touch this spring and the chair
slowly and tenderly adjusts itself into
the best OF beds" And the Mechani.
cal Wonder did just as he said.
Then touch this other one and i.
becomes firm and rigid in horizontal
position" ho continued; and the chair
did so.
Next press this little button and
it resumes its upright position. said
Mr.. Spilkins, and as he said so he
did-but the chair didn't.
He must have pressed the wrong
button for most startling and unex-
pected event took place. The otto.
man end OF the wonder few up and
took Spilkins under the chin with a
violence that nearly dislocated his
jaw. and did knock him heels over
head behind the stove. while the head
end OF the concern thumped the floor
like a piie-driver The whole house
shook with the conclusion, for the
chair itself weighed five hundred and
forty pounds and Mrs Spilkins was no
fairy
When Spilkins arose with sheepish
face and an aching jaw terrible
/, sight met his eyes. The wife OF his
bosom was very nearly the opposite
end up from what nature intended her
TO be; and she couldn't very we'll
change her position because she had
accidontly fred off the book rest
arrangement and snapped 1t hard and
fast into position among her five and
half feet She was about as firmly
fastened as II she had been made In
there
Spilkins made another attempt to
lind the right button. but he only
brought the lampstand down into his
wife's stomach with force that near
iy smashed her whalebones and made
her grunt like an overfed hog. Spill
kins got ratified.
He yanked and pulled and twisted,
but he only made matters worse with
every trial. First the lap board