The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-05-10

BAZOO GOSSIP.

BAZOO GOSSlf.
IF, before returning home to tn.
wife of your bosom or going to call OF
your best girl, your breath smells liks
n whiskey tub and you want to dis
guise il, just rinse your mouth with g
cup of diluted camphor and the mos,
delic, tie or suspicion, olfactory nerve
cannot detect the odor of the enemy
you have put into your stomach t.
steal away your brains, my dear boy
said George Poindex'er, Of St. Paul,
at the Southern in St Louis. IL
have tried it aud found it to work
like q charm. Don't drink the cam.
phor, just wash your mouth wi h it
and use your tooth brush vigorously
and the job il done. Then if you have
staid with the boys so long that your
legs get shaky aud the earth is whirl.
irg around like a top. 1 hare
another prescription that will fix you
o. X. in five minutes. Have the near
est druggist put up drop or two Of
ammonia in half a pint of water, or
so much water as may be necessary to
take the burn out Of the ammonia,
and tn, n you gulp down the dose wi b.
our taking the glass from the lips. In
five minutes you will be so sober that
you'll wonder how you managed to get
drunk in such short time. But be
careful not to drink any more that
evening; if you do you'll think your
whole stomach, diaphragm and all is
leaving its crapulous home through
your throat for the outside world"
Mr.. f L. Sheldon, the London
England manager of the Jarvis Conk
lin mor;age Trust Company, aud
who is also the husband of Mrs MAJ
Sheldon, the African explorer in an
interview with . reporter of the Kan.
sas City Times yesterday expressed
himself as follows: "The interviewer
He is not exactly an unknown quanti-
ty in England newspaper life, bu. he
is hardly considered entirely. the pro-
per thing, you know. Recently the
Pail Mall Gazette has taken up the
interview and is making it piqusnt
feature Of its daily issue, but the heav-
Ter papers is yet consider it undignif.
ed. English newspapers print little
miscellaneous matter. You priot
much. How far the Development OF
your enormous Sunday issue may ex-
tend, l of course could only guess,
but my judgment would be that you
must be near the line OF retreat. After
awhile the advertiser I should think
would protest. Where be takes q
page now be might do we'll with q
colum. Now the London Times has
a system exactly the opposite of yours
here in America. If al advertiser
wants a half column the rate we will
say is II If he wishes column it is Sc
il he wants two columns it will co Il
him lob If he demands four it will
cost him fb30. Of course these figu.
res are only comparative, but you eau
understand the cumulative principal
they use. The people over there
and / speak as an American, although
a landowner of dozen years stand
ing-are so conservative that even so
good a newspaper as the London edit
ton of the enterprise tells it must be
along the established line.
"Bsb" SAYS some ALFRED good
things, but few better than this short
discourse about being old fashioned:
Sometimes its rather good thing
t. be bit old-fashioned, because the
world that is new.fasbioned. is certsin.
ly going the pace that kills.
1t you are man aud happen to be
a bit cla-fashioned, you will think
that the best things in this world to
give to your wife are love and tender
ness.
If you are a woman. and are BIT
old fashioned, you will give your hus-
band respect and love.
If you are q politician, and a bit
old-fa.hioned, you will be honest and
stand by your word
II you are a preacher, and DIT old
fashioned you will keep scandal on,
of the pulpit, and remember that ex-
ample goes farther than precept.
Ii you are a maker of books and a
bit old.iashionel. you will teach us
the beauties of pity, of consideration
and, most of all of love, and you will
depict them in such a way that wo-
man is just as innocent when che
drops a book as when she picks it up.
If you are song-mriter and a Bit
old-fashioned, you will give US tunes
like those dear old ones We all re-
member. You know don't you how
we used to sing about our "Old ker-
lucky Home" liuger over "Miss Mel
lie was a Lady," and finish up with
sXVouE Wara With Thao - NV