The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-05-12

! mcnce to cut that tree down. That is
| the way with those men who want feel
ing before they will get religion. That
man will never cut that tree down, but
he Will starve to death.
Here, bre thren. YOU look at it in 4
sensible way, and listen to mo. Feeling
Is nos religion any more than starviug
10 death is cutting the treo down. If
you bankers and merchants and farm
erS had as much sense about religion as
you have about your business we would
have more religion in this town and
don't you forget it.
Some of you will say, Mr.. Jones /
cannot quit No, you will never quit as
long as you drink that sinking old
whiskey, you low down scoundrel, you
| tell you what would make some Of YOU
men quit drinking that old stuff. Ill
were 20 go down here and put some
strychnine in barrel of that stuff and
you were to see me, you would say when
IL is offered to you, oh, NO; thank you'll
don't want any of that. That is the
way you would soon quit your dirty
mean way.
"Some say: Il can't quit all at once
No. you are like the man who says he is
going to quit stealing. He steals ten
dollars tonight and nine tomorrow and
eight the next day and so on, but if he
| saw chance to steal a thousand dollars
no would do it in q minute, and then
start back and count from the thousand.
You can quit drinking know some men
who have quit drinking. How many
have you got on the chain gang hero?
Brethren, how many have you got?
Well if you don't know you Jught to
keep up with the chain gang"
Here Mr.. Jones announced that DR..
Downey was wanted, if he was in the
meeting. A number Of people got up
and stretched their necks to see if he
was present, when Mr.. Jones said:
Now, give me your attention, and
don't stretch your necks like that, you
great big country goose, you. You need
travelling more than you need religion.
You need to go about and see SONG
thing. The only hope we have of quit
ting our meannes is to come TO the
conclusion we ought to be good, and
that we must; we will quit som? things
that VIC do and that we will quit them
right now.
you follows cussing around here:
some OF you say that you cannot keep
from swearing save your lives. Now
you are just like a man once in my
church who came to me and said, Mr.
Jones, | can't keep from swearing to
save my life We'll, said I, IF you can't
hSiP Aoi why VIII dllOW you W
in the church, but if you can help it I
will kick you out We'll said he, Il
might help it. Oh said I, You cannot
stay in the church if you might stop
swearing
well, left him, and short time
after that he came TO me and said:
Jones, do you remember that little in
terview we had about swearing?' l said
Yes Well said he, Il have not
cussed since Not quit cussing, YOU
dirty dogs you? Again you say that you
cannot help your temper. That re-
minds me of a man down home once.
His little girl came up to him and said
something, and he turned round and
spoke so grumy to her as to make her
almost fall to the ground l asked him
what made him talk to his little girl
like that. oh, it is my ungovernable
temper he replied. | saw him a week
after that, when man went up to him
and put his hand in his face and wanted
to lick MIN. AS he went off so quiet,
won't up to him and said: Where is
your temper now?'
And you women can hell along there.
too. Say, would rather have the devil
after me in any other shape than to have
mad woman after me. And you women
can quit getting mad. Now let me say
J
Culpepper said the other night, that it
was hard to plumb the line and be a
Christian; but / will say this much, it
is because we are halfway Christians.
IF there is one thing | am afraid of
more than the devil it ia ono of these
mad lighting women. One OF you old
church members will 30 off and get on
a drunk, and when hauled up before the
church he says, Brethren, | hope you
will excuse me; | was ovcrtallen in a
fault whiskey barrel has no legs
and can't walk and overtakc anything,
you lying rascal, you.
"A FELLOW out in the country who was
in the habit of going to town every day
and getting drunk, got on his horse one
day ready to start and as no was just
starting his wife, a sweet and lovely
woman, came running out and said: oh,
John, promise your little wife you won't
get drunk to-day, won't you? He prom
lsed her, and as he rode along to town
he said: John Smith if you get drunk
to day will give you one hundred licks.'
lie went to town and got in with lot
of his old friends and got drunk. He
went home that night in maudlin
state
The next morning he got up early
and went out out to the stable, cutting
himself good hickory on the way. He
went into the stable, shut the door and
took off his coat and commenced be-
laboring himself with the hickory. His
wife came out and when she saw him
she said, %, John, what are you doing"
He said, I promised myself one hun
dred lashes yesterday If I got drunk
and you run along to the house now. for
| have got seventy-nine more to take
yet. You people who get drunk say,
i can't quit you lying scoundrel, you.
i cant quit cussing;' you low bred
animal you. | have such an ungovern-