New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-12-25
THE REFORM CLUB.
A HOLIDAY SATIRE.

| an Xlois about our Gifts 10 each Quiet i''' 10y
| are hoping / won't repeat last yeil 'I'"' ''D
Won something for which youN" aDa''u'''J ~ -
Don't fear IN Try not e.. Bnt WIZ" am !
voo h,v. everything a man Lave, and ic"
tMnrs Over ,i.,
IF Isn't ONLY giving ard tn" trouble OF ''i'cun''
bat 30 many people entertain ID TINS h"''u"' ''''
spend the day rushing In and on' o' 'hoPS' cav .'"
cold and wearing myself ont. NJ h"Ii P''' i""
muet u. At home and then instead 81 III" Ao' "''"
, ~ c,,r of 70, for witch long must needs array
,,lf in festive nttirc and show my face al tIrec %
,,r. tons boforc snner After dinner. Ii there i'h'
81 dance there's musicale. and II mere Isl"
musicale therc's--wel there's always something a"
cldenfaIlv must 90 TO church. tcach my m'N'i"" W.
md attend 10 the various Christmas charities III WIZ"
,rr, Interested Then there concerts ana nc"
MAYS and art exhibit one must no' mss ny
f. kceu ND with every one ard everything: ana WIt''
tc result, fall asleep in carriage or III inc CIV.
Last wccI, tainted twice from sheer cNhh'N'lo''
,,,l, tlr.t,po, j. II bctc nOirc-espccialy wAcn an
yorr friend, expect $50 presents. aud YOU can't AMOR"
TO spend moro than $40 apiece on them m
Won girls are cc,,ci Why don't yoI give up XIII
| ING Yourselves and cut the whole business -
There was a chorIs OF hornhed "lmpo'N'Dl'S
~Iruossible only because yon haven't any moran
courage Why not start = reform We'li promise 10
Avc only 10 our Immediate family, our servants ana
the poor ,. -,
But we'd make 5, many enemies Just thh" o'
all thc people that will send Us thirSs' eAPc''"o
something in return. They'd be 50 angry nnd "''
Ice called stney and thcyd hate MS forever
No they wouldn't. This b. organized re-
form III have LOT Of circulars printed. or type
written ana they'll announce that were moi so'S -
GIVE any Christmas presents ana that We dont WI"
any Well send the circular, 20 all 'hoS' WYNN
we've usually remembered with gifts Ito" Will ''"'
DOR
..It sound, lovely. and IT world make life 50 much
self h4,- list
,ho,, ! n.uolly dive We could call il the Christina
Reform cub. We'd hnv" 10 be careful about INC
wording of the circulars. though. 80 that they "o"'
Offend people ,.,,
ION Of course we can ring In Merry ChFNt
mas ana n know all b. these presents no.
,bat would hardly do: know by this abscnc" OF pr"
,u,s-uhat sounds like bulll-hncw that III 7~"
of appearnnces. there's no nl-fccIins,' sail Tom
Ainsworh
I'm tell YOU what III do. cried Jnck N'nnrr en-
thusias tlcally There Isn't one ol ~ eg"II 10 VIZ
ing the circulars. But I'll call on >tatlr i"i'-"''
He's the only literary man | know ana very -''u
SORT The is Hen write out form FIR ~ l" "'''
You're br.h. ycnncri That's jn't III" thing.
We nu,t rush things through 50 We can let people
know our plans before they invest IN thing Tor u.s.
It's a settled matter. isn't II
Tl,, ia would-Je r,lormora agreed That 1t WAS
,-,t,l,d matter. The women. young 'MF'. I"''h''
Ncu Meredit, and Ior;lc Van KJrilnnlt "rrr not
quite hearty III tH'lF d-A'Ht ~ WIZ '"' %" 80
IN, party, for in ~piic Of WY and fnn7'' ''"'''
,t,., shopping Las it, fascination ir tA" far r'N
uov.y.r the club wa, formed Their ana ron, each
member promising to abstain from the HN'S -
siNinS.
Wc'd letter meet tomorrow to read the dnu-
lars and discuss business We m'ht nave "'''
dinner AT Dr. cht
~Aercodl" cried tie rform"r'
Tie next night the Christina, Reform cin' held
It, arsi meeting. After the more important b"i
ne. If ,auue vu- eu!'d. An,""rth c"Icd ii"
member, 10 order.
ave "A sainpl, cop, Of tie circular, Lic "n' ]"
,b, lall Is a b.N containing 80 more. Il 90 ''l
ma, IN. onplc ri ii tribute tie 20. and y"u can
gcu them Oh by ,omorgo morning Nrit"'. A''"
you anything 10 sly =
.only q word or two called on ,'orL" h''
NIGHT Poor chip. BE- looked iriehtnli' '''dJ All
he was worn out viA editing CHRISTMAS matter Tx
49,. name Of santa Cnr,. aud was h"uuly TEX Of
starving Children rescued It tAe ln,' moment b' ft"'l-
dencc and an Australian uncle. lie burned on' i"e
crcular In a my. He'd been too busy to dln'' ."
we went ont Ia Il little French restaurant ana iad
ROYAL super least could do. yon Ano"' when h'd
been - very Ohlslus'
1t wa, ever 10 ulro Of YOU To do r." SID Mrs.
Thorne.
t,u4vorrh .r,.o.lcd ont u paper Dee held AMI read
To ou friends. rrcctl.: WAcru.. g." ga fu"
ioy of thri,tina. d, 10" ,acf~l ~lEtlHcl'r oI iH'
season, and ne hearty imPHlit OBJ r"ii'I '">> law
ir,va,,ut oychaner %. iif, We. tAc undcr-su- have
o,ganllrd oub. 20 ~ known a, the ir-irh' 10"
70 orr amics. orr servant, ana the Door. VI
shall make 40 presents to friends, ana We dr-lr" none
~, ,ri>t our effort ~ i" reformation % custom
one. i-nutiiul but now d,uad'4 may IT, m"' ID
the suu- -pinl " which w. anloan' n
On Christina. bay &C. ';nli 'Alnh - NO ~ N""i'
We care. Win loving. Kindly tl'u-'s nee from 81
fish con.!aciataus. and p te Win sin,'rt' / W lnS
lE% aini ''''''''' ''' "
"Tne circular +. Very good indeed, but think %
.lrl!nls 9oO,7 ed Sell Mcrriih.
", needn't. IN have ny cher" d. H. AMI III
Mr. some one 10 dire, the envelope, Il youH al
give me list, Of tho-. to whom you "i i 10 ,"nd bj
ten O'Clock !" morrow
~op.d for yOu, Mn'wo~hi That Will save Us lots
Of trouble
Af,cr - little more conversation. epint'd with
coffee and lqucur. ia" r'fornrr' Adjourned
ii.
The day lcicr" Christmas youth wearing huge
clr,s.nihomum ana On expo" sion 4 guilt. T. ad.
zion 10 Ia. usual garment, Of a Young nun Of ia"
period sneakcd into certain big j"w"lry shop lie
=, he along gancinR futiyey fsom Sic 10 side. 'ul
denly his eyes met thos, Of another youth, slmlnfiy
clad. equally guilty Of ccnntcnancc.
"Ty J,vc, Ain.w0.th! What Won dong ia
hcr,l7
well I-wcll-yOu ecc-ihr fact j.. Nell ciayy
for II pin IL sort and she % brave t. Join
the club and agree my Joining H. aud can't bear
to lc the day pass without sending her something.
Anyway shc'll De one Of my imm'iiat" fmiiv before
another year, WHY should eyplnin further What
| are You doing here -
That stern look dpcsnt become y0u. Take II
Of. i've known rouc STAGE she was hur year, Old
ald was six. If ddn't ct her som" title 1t would
he the G;~t miss ia nineteen Yeas. will give her
something. club OF no ciub!'
b" I'm with goa. Hello there. -tuyv' santi Say,
NY by. what busne,s have yo,L one u The noble
Eoad Of reformcrs. H. this place. Huyns something
for yOur cpJk ! supyCs,. Diamond. y
sfnyvc,ant tried 10 blush and failed.
IOOk here fellows" he cried that Clubs u great
thing a grand dci but for some reason o. other,
I'VE felt miserable ever sincc tho. cDnfuundod ctr
cunrs sent. I've GOT the Christmas fever, aud
I'm going e. buy something for every Tom Dick and