Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-17

spulS Will Uul IL
Two hearts supremely blest,
A minister, nuptial knot,
And-who can tell the rest?
Il New York Press.
THE MARCH OF SCIENCE.
"They've got a scheme for maxim
rain now, Maria" said Silas
"Lawsy me! What'll they dew next!"
returned Maria. "I've hurn tell O. boys
ruisin thunder, but | never thought
they'd make rain. - Epoch.
CAUGHT BY COMPLIMENT.
She-I was reading to-day of a lady
who proposed to a gentlemen.
He-This is leap yeur, you know.
She-I know it, but | don't want a
husband who has to be proposed to. You
are not man of that kind, am certain.
He-N-no-er-will you have me,
Jennie?
She-This is so sudden.
AN ExPEDIENT.
Husband-What are we going to do
about that hand d-organ that plays in front
OF our windows every morning and al
most drives me wildl
Wife-We might take trip to Eu-
rope.-[Epoch.
NO SUNSHINE IN HIM.
Mr.. Murray Hill-Mr. Jones affairs
don't seem to improve any. He is con-
tinually under cloud.
Mr.. Manhattan Beach-Yes: the last
time | saw him it was raining pitchforks.
-lTexas Siftings.
THE SONG OF THE HEART.
Lady lin music store)-Have you got
"Sweet Belle Mahone?''
Clerk-No'm; but I've got sweet Sarah
Simkins and we're going to be married
tomorrow.
GEORGE UNDERSTOOD.
"Katie," he said timidly, "I-I have
allowed myself to hope that you regard
me as something more than friend. :"
George she answered softly, with half
averted face, "you-you are away off. !"
And George understood. He came
nearer.
HIS FATAL REPLY.
81 dreamed" said she, most archly
smiling,
"That you proposed the other night"
Her voice was low, her glance beguiling,
Her profile turned towards the light.
"Indeed!" said he, ofleap year thinking,
And how she yearned to catch q
beau
His untired soul from that fate shrink
ing
"Dreams go by contraries, you know 4"
$50 l have heard" she whispered,
musing;
He hoped she took the proper view
How his thick wit he's now abusing
"Well, then, must propose to you"
-[Brooklyn Life.
THE PROPER VEHICLE.
Weed-I see by the newspaper that
rich deposits of meerschaum have been
discovered in New Mexico.
Reed-I suppose that pipe line will
be laid to bring the product away
Puck.
THE UNKINDEsT CUT OF ALL.
Clara-Do you see how the shape Of
this gown could be improved
Maude-You might get some other
girl to wear it.-[Cloak Review.
THE WAY OF 1T.
The burglar has taking way
Away his way he takes;
But the way he's taken on his way
Gives other burglars shakes.
-LPuok.
WHAT HE COULD DO.
He looked up and down the street fur
lively two or three times, took in the
sign over the door once or twice, and
darted in as if afraid of being caught
ut it.
"This is an employment agency, amt
it?" he inquired of the man in charge.
Eyes" snapped the person in charge.
'Get work for people, don't your
"Yep."
"Any kind of work."
"Yep."
"All kinds?"
"Yep."
Got something for me to do?"
yep.
"ln restaurant"
"Ye-what in thunder can you do in
restaurant" exclaimed the boss, catch
ing himself.
EAT"
Then he got the bounce.
FAMILY PRIDE.
'ln writing up the burglary" said
the excited caller, ''you can say the
thieves in their hurry overlooked $3.50
worth of jewelry and solid silver plate
in one of the closets"
"Might that not bring the burglars to
your house second timer" suggested
the city editor.
81 don't care if it does!" exclaimed the
other. 81 don't want the public to get
the impression that gang of robbers
can go through my house and only find
$25 worth of stuff worth stealing. -
Chicago Tribune.
STRATEGY.
He-I am in love. Will you be my
conidanteY