Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1892-08-19
PINK PUNK ON OUTINGS.

Hints Which Nay Sare the Country
Boarder Much Disappointment.
Brother Pink Pluck is always up to
date with his topics In midsummer
he never discourses on the delights of
sleigh riding, nor does he ever have
anything to say about ice cream in
mdwlnter Last Sunday, before be-
ginning his regular exhortation, he
made some timely observations on
summer Outings" Here is YER
batim report of what he said
De timen son be here, deah bred
dern, wen a good many folks i'll begin
TO tnk dat de cityis too hot to hole
dem,an' deyu begin to examine dc
adverisin columns for a good place to
spen' de heated term.
Dlsyar annual question OBJ where
shall we spen' de summer is de cause
OF more uubble an weXation an wor-
rInent dan almost any udder one dat
agltates de human family, not eNceptin'
Gle annual attack of housecleanni, or
de cherry four years ober de elecshun
of new President.
'Wot causes all de tlubble. deah
breddern, is dat de majority OLD de
folks dat go away for vacation ex-
pect twenty-five dollar boahd for about
six dollahs week: an. l may add dat,
although country boahdin' house keep
ers may look like jays it's pooty
slick city boahder dat kin wheedle
twenty-five dollahs' with OBJ accomo-
dations out oh de 'iayeSt' farmer wen
he's only payin' him six per week.
De country farmer is in de summer
bizness for wot he kin cit outin it. deah
breddern, an he doan flying his house
wide open an invite city folksup to
spend de summer jist becuZ he likes to
loll at dere fine clothes or becuz it tick
les him to death to hear dem singin'
% Promise Me- or My Mary Green,
OF 'Ta-ra-ra. Boom-de-ay! wiz dey
poun' de stuffin outen de pianny dat
he heZ hired for de Sllmmr at an eN-
pense oh four dollahs a month. Oh. no,
not by de longest kline Oh shot. De-
jay fahmer' to use de langwidge Oh de
present day, amt constructed on dose
lines.
ITO quote furder from de langwidge
ob de street, deah breddern. it's a
cold day wen de country boahdin' house
keeper gifts left an as dere amt any
cold days to speak oh dlrin' de heated
term, it is needless to say that he neb-
Der does git left.
De man dat kin git de best OBJ a
country boahdin' house keeper cud, eff
he put de same strategy to work in
Wall street. make fawchun by squezin
JAY Gould.
De country boahdin' hous keeper adj
vertises in a picturesque way, deah
bredden, dat puts de patent medicine
man and de OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
dollahs-a-month-untl agent to de
hlushiest kline oh blush
In de place he hez no regahd for
truf. or, let us say, in Il spirit of charity.
dat he's inclined to cXaggcrate, l rad
der imagine dat eff George Washing
tons father he'd KEEP summer bOahdin'
house Georges character for truthful
hes I'd nebber hab ben handed down
to an admirin' postelity an dat lubly
yahn about de cherry ire I'D nebGr hab
ben told. becuZ eff de Washington
homestead had beenlille de general
run ob summer bOahdin' houses dere
Wouldn' hab ben no cherry ire or no
uder kline oh Il tree in front oh it for
George to chop down wifi his little axe.
He nebcr heZ de least hesitation
about announcin' dat his fahm is three
minutes walk from dc station, but he
nCglectS to infohm va dat de fahm it
self is sixty acres square and dat de
house is plum in de middle of it.
He makes allurin' illusions to boatin',
bathin' an tishin'. but he forgits to re-
mahE dat de Iiber where desc attrack
Shus are supposed to abound is only wet
wifi water in de winter, an dat wen d"
sumner sun comes along it dries up like
Il henpecked husband wen his wife
takes de floor.
Eff va like to Sc toy boats sail, or
if you're fond ob hot mud baths, or
if va like to fish for old Sardine boxes
wifi a stick, den de 'ribbcr' dat de sum
mer boadhin' housekeeper hez placed
before yer minds eye vii suit va, but
if you're like de general run of hui
mainly, an found oh a wet sheet an Il
f1owin sea-, or a dip in the deep, cool
water, or hab lil1in' for hallln' in
bluefish an bass vile yer veins wild
de excitement OBJ de spoht' den, de best
ting va kin do is to glib de inland re-
soht dat advertises 'boatin', bathin, an
fishin', de dead 'goby.'
An uddcr temptin' bait dat de sum
mer boahdin' house keeper holes out
deah breddem, is de glorious vision Oh
fresh vegetables an plenty oh milk
an cream but de fahmer fins dat he
kin cit a good price for desc luXurieS
from de hotel keeper up de mountaiyn
or down in de valley where de guests
pay So or Sc day, an de six dollah a
week boarder at de farmhouse hez to
worry along on de canned stuff dat de
witch may hab been layin' on de shelf
for several years or more.
lob course de summer boahdin
house keepers life amt all sunshine an
skinnin, deah breddern; he heZ his
trubbles as well as de rest OBJ poor hui
mainly.
One OBJ de greatest nuisances he has
to contend wifi is de growlin' boahder.
Dis specimen is ginerally a woman
who by scrapin' an savin' an dom
her own work hez managed to save
jist barely enuff to go to a cheap
bcahdin' house for a couple oh weeks
in de de summer, just SOS to be able
to boast about de 'lubly time she had