The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-09-04
If YOU HAD A MILLION.
The Question Of What You Would
Do With Your Heap
Of Money.
Some Very Entertaining An.
swers to This Equally Very
Interesting Inquiry.
The Typewriter Would Marry, the Pc
liceman Open u Hotel, and ths Car
a. Driver Fight the Capitalists.

H. 'oohLA oNLh AL LIE IHLl-
~ test typewriter in Wall street and
i wondered what she would do with a
million. Acting upon the wish I went over
and asked her.
"Whnt would ! do?' she asked, looking
up with a fling Of her head and an express
zion of sudden interest that il wal worth
$3.50 to simply see for those three seconds,
''why, l would marry"
l indicated my psrplexity. "What do
you msanY' I asked. "You don't pretend
that you haven't
"lsinply mean that I can't afford to
marry now. OF course, I have plenty of
chances. Who hasn't2 Have you soc n
tho census rsports7 There are 1000, 900
more mon than women in the United
statss. l could marry . man with
a barrel OF money within twenty-four
hours. But I want my Independence.
and l would be a fool to swap the indspend-
ence l have for tho gilt edged slavery
would have to endure if l, with no money.
married even q man with plenty of it. If I
had a million in my own right I could
marry and DO glad I was living. That's
what l mean.' and she won't on click click
ing.
All this was apropos of my undertaking
to discover BY personal interview what
each of 100 different people would do with
. million. To give a representative char
acter TO the group I determined to ask
many classes Of people. or course. a great
many OF those appealed to were for a mo-
msnt nerplexsd how to answer; but the vast
majority answered with an a~lacrity, sufi-
Client to Justify the suspicion that they have
debated within their own mind very ofter
ana very deeply what they would do with .
big heap of wealth.
One OF the curious results of the inquiry
was the discovery that people who are we'll
on their way to a million often seem to talk
of the possibility of getting there" az if it
were quite remote. Many q business man
sets himself q limit whom he will retro, and
'~'retire" is likely to be tho general answ Or
Of many such whom i~nterropated on their
plans for u million. But it il easier to
make the second million than the first, and
1T always seems a pity not to 90 on with the
second million after the struggles of tho
first, and 80 the grinding for millions goes
ahead. The means becomes the end of life,
and what would you do with a million ?''
10 likely TO be responded to by invest it.
boy. invest it!'
asked II typical capitalist who is
worth at least 5000 DOC. WELL" he said,
'if YOU mean a million besides the few
pennies l have saved, I should say, $500 600
in GOOD electric light stock, $500. 600 in gen
sral local securities of tho best sort and
800, 600 in, say, New York Central"
THAT explains what you would do with
the MONEY!" l said; ''but what would you
do with yourselfY"
"Ah! that is very simple" he replied; II
would take care of the Money"
:. Professional mon are more likely to OK
'hisit personal hanksrings independent of
name ia we'll known throughout the country
and who If he did not spend 10 much and
give way so much might have been
worth \ million some time ago, wants a
ranch. Not a small fry affair, under
stand mo-" he said. but a great ranch that
would dazzle the whole west. l think l
could enjoy it. But it would be tremen-
dously expensive. 1t would knock the gill
ing out of s per cent. on n million"
l asked three olsrgyuen. One wants to
own n slice of the Adirondack. Another
wants to complete an engine no has in
vented in his back study-an air engine
with a marvellous balance wheel. The
third has n historical work on hand that
would require eight or ten years of travel
and investigation. If he had = million he
would go At this. 1t WAS \ little woman
who sews for u rich bargain bazaar, who
would like to establish a great free thso-
logical school,.
doctor whose nickle plated sign shines
on a fashionable avenue said he wanted Il
Yacht. He is not sufe whether the income
from a single million would do it. but if it
were possible he would have = modest Yacht
with \ good. wine closet, an irrsproaohabls
cook, and there would be no night bell
there. my friend" added tho doctor, with q
twinkle.
A modest little lawyer, who does a steady.
ploddinR business in \ small oity, declared
utter N moments reflection, yet az if the
idea were not new to him, II would get a
nice snug country place, whore my children
oouldt have elbow room, build up q good
law library, get out OF all Irrigated work,
but keep nay place "a an active member of
the bar" Another lawyer had very differ
ont views. ~ like the law as q trade" he
SAID. but would got clean out of it if l
could have the money to travel. If seems
10 me that it would take me all the time l
Am likely to live to see AZ much Of the
world az l want to see."
A school teacher, a truokman. a jeweler
and q saloon keeper each wanted to travel.
Indeed, travel seems to exceed in attract
ivsRess all other forms of indulgence su1-
gsstsd by the possible possession of riches.
Two politicians of the active typs came
into my One Hundred. MY dear fellow"
said one Of them, ''there il nothing ON
earth ~ good as street railway stock when
you are let in ea'lv enough" The other
simply said: "Taokls the senate" A DO
liceman whom l met at a busy street cor
ner. in the midst of whose hustle and roar
he seemed to be preserving an attitude of
refsction, had his mind entirely made r.
II would buv u big hotel and AVE tho finest
barroom in the city-a barroom that would
knock the Hoffman house cold. Well,
there YOU be nothing like it in the ooun-
Try"
Tho driver OF a street car looked at mo
with some petplexity when my question
was p opoundsd. At first he evidently
doubted my sincerity or my sanity i
could not toll which. But being assured
BY the lucid roileration of the inquiry
and by a glance at my personal appeas-
anoe. he said with n dirsotnesx that was
eloquent: ~ would hire the greatest
lawyers on this side Of the Atlantic to
fight tho capitalist. The men with the
money are Oh top because they can hire the
biGgest lawyers, and you can't blame the
lawyers for going with the fellows who havO
the most DOODLE. Now. il l had a million.
| would engage soms of the smHrtest law
yers we have here and I'd down ths capital
ists. I'd see whether there IL any show for
w~orkingMen when they have tall talkers TO
plead their case. You know worry we'll it
doesn't 20 by right At all. 1t goes by
strenRtb. II goes by whether you can put
up Doodle enough, With a million l think
l would have u show"
A quiet woman. who manage . private
1-E-aI