The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1892-01-04

Ue<t =. 49,
A1F frrrc<I<s - thu r.rtr>.
ms ~ - rus1tioo rrononn|.. b. a.
bog. Ir4o. Itc@. 1SInt.d man W. -,-r-IIi
trcrpc1 n. wkIk>.i about t. room. IooI'
nK e tie unp<. c.lsndars ara q, 81 tfIn.-4
hat hung on the Wall. arIi finally - down
- the edge Of : chair.
|-Whnt kind of rncancit.,e
Any kind. be rejoincd. ..thaf Sivc. =
'eilow : chance 70 climb somsfhinr in
he writing depaftment-
You win have % Sc the MANAGING
-Hs isnt in. thonght .you mighs
Know
This Is the wrong room for you 70 strike.
But hold On. You ask II there are vncan-
siez How many could you fllfr
Most 81 'em. reckon. Say, rd like 70
show you what i can do Give me some
| paper.n
Apad Of copy paper" was laid before
| him
In the course Of ten or fifteen minutes he
produced the following. which be said was
not necessarily for publication. hut a.
sample Of what be could do,
HoTEL Despair, ST Louis, December. when
struck this carayansary this evening regis
| tered from Chicago. l did this 70 inpress 81
he mind Of the gentleinan who keeps the tav-
srn the conviction that resided las We say in
Bostonl where they know how to keep hotels
and was not man - beimposed on and kicked
about like common traveller.
Tho tavern keeper looked It my name and Id
arcss. Then be looked Il mo and sent mo 10 q
pare, thin and tired looking room on tho top
ioor. There was water pitcher, but no water
said tothe gcntlemAnly nid-de-campwho had
accompanied mo and cheered me on the way
up the stairs that ] would DO obliged II he
would turn on some water. He said he would
and faded slowly down the stairway.
Then sat down in the cleaning and waited
TOR that water. A cleaning in q small room on
the top floor Of 4 ST. Louis hotel Is the gloam-
INCEST thing to sit down In ever experienced
would give worlds'if could blot Il from my
memory.
waited half an hou- for that water. Then
went down to the Office and told the clerk
wanted Il sent up right away. He promised 10
attend to the matter and went up TO my room
again. waited another half hour and then
climbed down the stairs again and told the
clerk that II he did not send that water up IN
eve minutes would hunt some other palatial
Inn. said | was not going to speak or the
matter again and he might consider this my
nltimatum-
Then he said In commanding voice that
was heard all over the hoteli
Front, take some kind Of water up 70 the
gentleman's room. Thunder and lightning!
can't you see he's from Chicagoi''
Though high up and somewhat exclusive a.
TO location. my room Is mott lonely one.
have been visitedt this evening BY twenty
seven separate and distinct rats, or twenty
seven separate and distinct times by the same
rat II II was one be all looked alike.
have always wished could have been on
hand when my old friend Noah took the ami
mails into the ark.
should have used every honorable means to
persuade him not to let any kind OF rat Or any
relative Of tho raj family como on board /
should have said:
Noah, II you knew as much about rats as
do you wouldn't take one Of them on this She
bang for double first class passage rates paid
ID advance You'd keep every one Of them OF
II you had to hire mate from q Mississippi
river steamboat 10 stand 1t the gangway with
q club and swear ut them. You want to start
on this excursion with the good will Of the
orkingmen. don't you. NoahS Then don't let
this be rat ark"
But Noah has been dead these thousands Of
years. and here | am. still lingering on the
shores Of time. . lone, detected pilgrim with
spectacles and hollow cough
You cant tell anything about mans chances
for the kingdom Of glory, however. by listen
ing to his cough cough Is one Of the most
. rich but frugal man with . hollow cough to
attend the funerals Of health looking but poor
relations. ono after another, who lad been
waiting with fond. lingering yearning for
forty years 70 80 that hollow cough get in Its
work on him.
70 SEQ rich man with a hollow cough at the
funeral Of poor relative that has died Of pre-
mature old age and yearning
II could turn out that kind Of literature
all day." said the strange visitor. You
never saw me in the act Of initiating the
editor Of the Atchison Globe grinding out
philosophy I'll show you how do it. /"
Then be assumed a severely cynical ex.
preston and wrote what follows
When man begins to feel old he simply
doesn't tell his age. When woman begins to
feel old she merely lies about 1t.
The man who never makes coniidant OF
anybody Is the only man whom you should
make your confldant
II the women Of this country were to be sud-
denly afflicted with stiff necks so they couldn't
turn their heads when they passed each other
on the streets, all the dry goods merchants
from Portland to Galveston would go into
bankruptcy In less than six weeks.
An Atchison young woman who Is threatened
with lockiaw has asked her friends to pray
that the visitation may be averted. Her friends
are In y QuHuuafy. :
The dog is mans faithful friend because
there Is a good deal Of the dog In most men.
Here ii about the style in which the
young man who writes history for the New
York Weekly goes TO work. /"
With these words be went TO work again.
with this result:
Mrs. De Style tanxiouslyl- Doctor. do you
think dear little Fido Is quite well?
Fashionable Doctor tcoldlyl-I am not q dog
DOCTOR madam, but am unable To see that
anything ails the animal
Mrs De Style ijoyfuIlyD Then, doctor, will
you please go and look at the children The
nurse says they don't seem 70 be very well this
morning.
And this Is about the style of the In
dianapolis Journal. Watch me. !,
Afteran effort Of some minutes be turned
out this
Yabsley-- Wickwire. | don't suppose you
know the Riekerdykes, at the other end Of the
avenue. They are very swell and exclusive,
I've got an Invitation to attend grand party
there next Thursday night. but ! don't know
whether 10 20 or not. | hate to waste the
time
Wickwire- Better go, Yabsley. II werc in
your place wouldn't miss any chance TO get
into good society.
"a nj 1 rail- that A pretty rood one . he