Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-08-25
ANARKY'S 'SCURSION.

AN AIN ~ kOO1OC1ONs
Ever since Uncle JoshWay's imag-
mary Fourth of July 'scursion in
September, he has posed before his
family and the community at large as
a very travelled man, and in trying to
impress others with the reality Of that
trip he has almost come to believe in
it himself. And marvellous are the
tales he tells of the grandeur of the
''kyars" and the splendor of their be-
lOngings; of the trains sWiftness and
the many incidents of that grand
tour. OF how they flew like a fish
hawk through field and forest, UP
long yellow hills and into valleys, and
when they came to Bayou DOrcheat,
where the bridge was washed away,
they were going too fast to stop, $50
we jes' scooted acrost faSsr'n a streak
o. lightnin' an landed saift on tudder
side de bayou; an none de PASSENGERS
ceppin' me an de ingineer knowed de
bridge was gone"
Aunt Anarky has been the most
favored recipient of these stories
Day after day has she been drinking
them in, absorbing them, and believ-
ing them, though aware of Joshway's
Munchausenish proclivities-
One morning in early spring she
was sitting before their big, old-fash-
Toned fireplace, with her feet in the
warm ashes and her head bound up
with cabbage leaves, the latter an
unfailing sign that she is Hpo'ly,"
consequently cross 1t might be
headache. or it might be ''nuraligy,"
or maybe bad cold; no matter what
the symptoms, the cabbage leaves
play prominent part in every illness,
real or imaginary. On these occas-
ions Joshway and Mig, the black cat,
always betake themselves to some
quiet corner outdoors, without wait
ing to consider whether the cabbage
is the cause or the result of her irrita-
bility of temper. or merely incidental.
But l verify believe Mig, in vague
sort Of way, connects cabbage leaves
with kicks, and by some catlY intui-
tion he long ago learned when his
safety depended on absence from his
snug corner of the hearth.
EFF dar amt dat tuarky sittin' wild
her haid tied up wild cabbage leaves
yit" grOwled Uncle JOshWay, return
ing to the house and peeping through
the keYhole. "Here Ise done been
an geddered half buShel COOLERS an
druv the hawgs out'n de tater patch
an ca'yed Cawnstalk to water an
done Lawd knows how much mo-
wuck, sides, an dair's dat 'Omen
bumped up all day in de chimblY
cawnder, an me hongry huff to eat
a ScOrripin, Mouter knoWed how
II =
quirled up, in d. ash-ba1. Well,
gotter 90 in an sawter git her in good
humOr, cts 1 got to cla' de kithen
one, shot, an me hOngry 'nough to eat
a scorripin.'"
He entered the room cautiously, but
a board creaked and Aunt Anarky
moaned a big moan. He turned to
leave, but the appetizing odor of
roasting sweet potatoes greeting his
noStrils detained him.
He decided that little blarneying
would pay better than lgnominious
flight and loaf1ng hungry at the wood
pile another hour or two. He cleared
his throat. Another moan. "Dat
tater sho' smells good, Anarky! Puts
me in min o. dem good "a loud
groan,) dem good vittles what de peo-
pie on dem 'ScursiOn kyars gin me;
poSsum +" ice-cream m greens m ia
tiers an chicken pie (moan diminuen-
dO,) all piled up in a greet big blue
chany dish. / emitted it all in my
check henkerchy an wouldn't tech
nary moufie, nary bite, ease I lowed
to fetch it all home to you, but"
'.Den if you lowed to fetch it
why'nt you fetch it, 'stidder takin' it
all out in 'loWin'?"
''Well, woulder brung it hadn't a
been fur dat ole tagger."
''What ole tagger?" asked Aunt
Anarky, removing one of the cabbage
leaves
''Well," said the colonel, as he
dexterOusly hauled a great golden
yam from the ashes, ''You see dair
was tagger an a painter an tinted
snake f1ghtin' on de relroad track, an
me watch'n' 'em an sick'n' 'em on.
IAnother cabbage leaf OF An
when lent out de Winder wild my
bundle yittles in my han de train
ruined kersmash over de painter an
made de kyars jewgle so hard dat I
drapped the vittles on de groun', and
TO could stop de train to pick 'em
up OLE Mr.. Jaeger he upped an
grabbed holt Of 'em an loped OF wild
em-he did datl De United snake
had got uncoupled endurin' de fight
His haid walked of to'ads a spring,
an his tail flewed off in nudder tree
ton an de res of his body crawled of
diffunt ways. but when he saw de
vittles drap he hooked hissef toged-
der agin an went skeetin' OF to
snatch 'em fun de tagger."