The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1892-06-25
The Love of Managing.
Philadelphia (Pa.) Ledger.

Philadelphia (Pa-) Ledger
Among the amiable ways of invading
personal freedom, stands conspicuously the
practice of managing people. In some
persons the desire of doing this amounts
almost to a mania They are not content
with managing their own business and their
own households, they have an irresistible
longing to manage those of others. They
are quick to detect mistakes in their plans,
flaws in their methods, errors in their de
cisions and promptly set to work to rectlfy
them. They try hard to convince or to
persuade, and, failing in that, they resort
to other means of gaining their point
Sometimes they direct their efforts to the
most serious affairs of life; they insist on
youth entering certain profession; they
scheme to bring about marriage, or to
break an engagement, or to change friends
entire mode of life. The same spirit Is
carried into comparative trifes. They will
rearrange your plan for journey, combat
your preference for an amusement, force
you to ride when you meant to walk, or to
eat when you wish to abstain They think
they have excellent reasons for all this
interference, and are, probably, quite I'M
conscious that it has its chief origin in
their own Unsuitable love of managing.
Such people are seldom malevolent;
indeed, they are frequently generous and
kind. hearted They suppose they are
really doing you service by putting you
in the right way, peaceably if they can,
forcibly if they must. But they are neces-
sarily conceited; they are perfectly certain
that they are right and that you are wrong;
and they are surely lacking in tact and
penetration, or they would see that they
are really earning the dislike of those with
whom they thus meddle, by invading one
of the most sacred rights-that of individ-
ual liberty of action. No advantages OF
better plans or wiser methods (supposing
them to be better or WISER can compensate
for this Infringement of independence.
Experience is the best teacher, and he who
forestalls and restraints her instruction, robs
the learner of some of the richest lessons
which life contains.
Most persons resent being managed as
soon as they are conscious of it. They
prefer their own way, even if it be not so
good. Glands off, they inwardly ex-
claim, while outwardly they are seeking to
parry the arguments broug hit to bear upon
them. They may be willing to listen to
counsel, to consider suggestions, even to
receive censure, but the very idea of being
managed is repulsive to them, and arouses
all their self-assertion and antagonism.
Thus they often appear self-willed> and
perverse, when they are merely upholding
their own individuality. There is another
reason why this interference may be pecu-
liarly distasteful and excite q resistance
quite unaccountable to the adviser. There
is often strong reason why person pre-
fers his own plan or line of conduct, yet
one which he may not be willing to pro-
claim Twenty good arguments adduced
for an opposite course may be outwelghed
by the one which is paramount in his own
mind, yet if he do not wish, for any reason,
to make it public, he is open to the charge
of being unreasonable. No one has right
to put another in so awkward a dilemma.
To give suggestion, or even serious advice,
may be kind and wise, but to press either
beyond certain limits is both rude and i'm
polite.
The success of this managing propensity
is even more injurious than its defeat.
The feeble minded, the irresolute, the plant,
often fall prey to these wiles. But what
is the result? What little self-reliance
there was is broken down and weakness is
made still weaker. Emerson says; Gin
sist on yourself; never initiate. Your own
gift you can present every moment with
the cumulative force of whole life's cult
walton; but of the adopted talent of another
you have only an extemporaneous half
possession. That which each can do best
none but his Maker can teach him. No
man vet knows what it is till that person
has exhibited it" But the one who loves
to manage his fellow-men is forever setting
this principle at defiance and striving to
graft his own ideas and powers upon his
neighbor, instead Of helping him to develop |
his own.
No one is willing to admit that he be- !
longs to the class of managers. No, he is
only sensible, reasonable, good-natured,
we'll disposed. He does not like to see
foolish step taken, where a wise one can be
substituted. So easy it is for one to de- |
ceive himself as to his motives, and So
easily does even good motive, unbalanced
by others, lead us astray! We need more
self-reliance on the one hand, more rever-
ence on the other. How do we know that
the course we are so earnestly urging upon
our friend is good for him? 1t may be
thO best possible for us, the worst possible
for him. At any rate, he; and not we,
must be the judge, and we must respect
his decision, not knowing what motives,
unknown to us, may appeal powerfully to
him. Perhaps we all NEEDLE too much
with our neighbors. If we can do them
any good, make life happier or easier or
nobler for them than it now is, let us hasten
to do it with all simplicity. But compul-
sion, coercien, insistence, management are
only harassing to them and futile in them
selves. Each man and each woman who
is to amount to anything must live his or
her own individual life, unimpeded and
uninvaded; those who attempt to obstruct
this life, to hinder its free course and to
shape it according to their own ideas, are
very much mistaken if they esteem them
selves benefactors in so doing.