The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1892-11-24

PRINTER"
Mrs. Wardwen was inconsolable. Poor
woman, she couldn't find relief by writ
ing articles about people she had never
heard of, and she began to grow pale
and was filled with nervous horror of
meeting anybody, and she in-s gined that
she was the laughing stock of the town.
Nearly week had elapsed, and her
sorrow was as heavy If not so hysteric
as ever, when one day there was an en-
thusiastic ring at the doorben. There
wasn't 6 servant in the house; she must
either open the door herself or have her
husband do it, or leave it unopened.
She decided to adopt the husband plan.
She wouldn't have opened it herself, for
she was morally certain that she would
be confronted by some heartless mocker
who would shrek with laughter over
her disastrous dinner, and SO she called
her husband. That brave man with a
severe face went to the door and opened
it, and fairly shook with rage and Won
der. What manner of refined insult was
this?
Standing before him, smiling as bland
ly as though they had never grievously
and wantonly wounded him to the quick,
were the men and women he had in
vited to his Thanksgiving dinner! There
was the doctor, fairly bubbling over
with mirth and good hrmor; and the
sweet singer, with roll of music under
his arm; and the editor of The Gazette,
pompous in the knowledge that he, and
he only, was the author of that sublime
article, WHITTIER Are We Drifting?"
and their wives were with them, and the
other men who had been invited were
there with their wives! 1t was evidently
a conspiracy to humble and crush and
wreck the life Of Theophilus WardweH.
For moment he seemed disposed to
slam the door in their faces, but he
arrested the motion of his arm. Then it
looked as though he would turn loose
the simeon of his wrath, but the words
died on his lips, and he ended by invit-
ing them all to walk in, smiling ear
donically, and "every one knew that
some one had Numbered" He led the
procession into the parlor and then call
ed his wife, who joined him in maze
of bewilderment. And when the guests
were all seated, equally stupefed with
wonder, Mr.. Wardwell faced them and
said, with magnificent sarcasm:
"Ahl And so you have come in re-
spouse to my invitation? regret to say
that you have come too late to partake
of my turkey or pie, but you have come
in time to teach me valuable lesson.
After this, when l want my friends to
call on me on New Years, I'll ask them
to come on Christmas; If desire to see
them on the Fourth of July, I'll ask
them to visit me on Easter Sunday, and
when want gathering on Thanksgiv-
ing day I'll specify George Washing
toms birthday as the date for the assem-
blage.
"This Is Thursday, ladies and gentle
men. Well, last Friday Mrs. WardweH
and had somewhat wholesome repast
prepared for you all, and we waited and
waited for your coming until our hearts
ached with disappointment, but we
should have been patient, see; we were
altogether too hasty. If we had only
waited six days longer, you would have
been with us. A trifle like six DAYS
would have caused us no Inconvenience
whatever, but we were so thoughtless. "
Mr.. Wardwell paused for breath, and
the professor took advantage Of the lull
to say:
"There is some gross misunderstood
ing here. You invited us to eat Thanks
giving dinner with you, and here we
are. But as for me, did not come to
be insulted."
'You are correct in saying that in
vited you to come on Thanksgiving day.
Then why, may I ask, didn't you come
on Thanksgiving day."
"Why," responded the professor. in q
dazed way, "this is Thanksgiving dayl"
Certainly it is" chorused the doctor.
and the editor, and the musician; "this
is Thursday, Nov. &c."
sNo one questions that" cried Mr..
Wardwell, with bitter irony, sand to-
morrow is Friday, the 27th, and have
excellent reason to believe that the fol-
lowing day will be Saturday, the 2sth-
in fact, shouldn't be surprised If Sun
day turned out to be the 29th. But how
do you make out that this is Thanks