San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1892-08-03
ELECTION DIALOGUE.

Don Juan: Good day, Don Pedro,
what is the news?
Pedro: On, there is a great deal OF
news, hal muchos candidates in this
election, and fine prospect to make
money.
Don Juan: Where is the candidate
who has got il? let US see him forth.
with.
Pedro: Don't you be too fast about
II; you don't understand the plan to
bleed these Americans.
Don Jnan: Well, let us hear the
best method.
Pedro: 1t is done this way; stand
around there about the courthouse, be
little shy and backward at fret,
don't ask tor cent, and the first
thing you know candidate will
grasp you by the hand as ii he had
known you all his life, and say,
"Amigo, you drink with me-" Promise
him to do all you can for him my.
self, have been drunk for the last
month, and have had more to eat at
the lunch tables than [ got at home
for the last two years. The next day
you will meet his opponent; he will
| do the same as the fellow did the day
before, and will say the same thing,
"Amigo, you drink with me" and of
course you promise TO vote for him
also.
Don Juan: But, my friend, you
have not said word yet how to get
money. want money.
Pedro: Don't be so fast, my friend,
you will get more If you will give 1t
| to these fellows In broken doses.
| After you have learned who are the
green ones among the candidates,
along at first ask for the loan of a
quarter to treat friend that. you are
satisfied you can induce to vote tor
the candidate who loaned you the
| quarter He will do SO and glad of
the chance to do it. When you get
the quarter put it in your pocket. You
have now given him the first bleed.
Now when you meet his opponent re-
peat the process and the same result
will follow. Be punctual, there is
nothing like 1t; be on hand before the
court house door early and late; there
are great many candidates, and
you'll be surprised at the amount you
can get in one week.
Don Juan: Well, what is the next
step?
Pedro: You can play this game at
first. After this, the next time you
come 10 the city, select the most
anxious and friendly candidate; you
are now on terms of familiarity with
him. When he asks how your family
are, say that your wife and two of
your children are sick, and that you
nave not q cent to buy medicine s
with, and that your provisions are all
out, and that you can't pay the
doctor; the candidate will say, my
friend. how much do you want?" Say:
; 50 so for medicine,
2 90 for sugar,
90 for coffee,
90 for bushel Of meal,
8 90 for sack of flour,
90 for DOCTORS bill.
Total SIS so you will get sure as my
name is Pedro.
Don Juan: But still you don't say
how am to get good round sum of
money?
Pedro: Go slow, my friend, the can.
didate has Oy this time worked him.
self into the belief that you are man
of great influence, and will carry the
primary meeting in your precinct,
without single dissenting voice, in
his favor.
Don Juan: Then what next?
i Pedro: The next time you come TO
town come in your shirt sleeves, stand
around on the corner and look as
lonesome as possible, look as il you
did not have a friend in Bexar county.
1t won't be long before some candi-
date with his breast full of the milk
of human kindness, and his pockets
full of printed democratic tickets, will
see you, and approaching will say,
chow are you, Amigom He will ask
| you to take drink. But excuse your
self by saying, 81 feel ashamed to go
into the saloon dressed as / am, 10
coat to put on" He will say, "walk
around to L. Wolfson's or Joske
Brothers, get suit of clothes, and
I'll foot the bill.n And my word for
il, you'll be dressed in an inch OF
your life, in the twinkling of a bed
post.
Don Juan: What next, my friend?
Pedro: You are not dressed up with
few dollars in your pocket, and in
fact you look like an influential citi-
zen, by this time every candidate in
the field will bid at you,-ssy that
you scorn to take money or any other
valuable thing, that it is beneath the
dignity of an American citizen to sell
his birthright for mess OF pottsge or
suit of clothes. You are now far
enough advanced to look wise, and
to every one of the candidates when
he asks you about his prospects, say
queen sabe." The time for the elec-
ton is now near at handbook wise,
disinterested and mysterious; the
fruit is now ripe,-the fret cand idate
who speaks to you say that you can't
carry your precinct unless he will
give the means TO give q bale on the