Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1892-01-16
LoN5oN TESTER IouT5.
How Patrons Are blade Miserable Il

| How Patrons Are hihCc EsiScri'''o ny
Cloak, Programme and Other Ficnds.
You have scarcely put your nose in
side u theater before you are seized upon
and called to stand and deliver. First it
is your coat Men and women rush after
you and poster you for your coat. They
would rejoice if all were foolish enough
to yield to their importunatc demands,
and risk colds, coughs, Influenza and
bronchitis for the rest of their natural
life Why, it is madness to venturointo
the stalls without draft protector.
Modern theaters are so constructed that
they are mere draft traps.
If yon are seated ne@r the dooryou risk
II stiff neck. You must wrap your cloak
around you and 10 careful to protect
your legs FROM tho blasts of wind that
pour III from every crack and c;lrny. 1t
you arc III the ce:itcr of the stalls. 1T
many thea.ars directly tho curtain IL
raised !, tornado Of wind rrlshcs across
the footlights and catches You by the
throat. often think that women arc
mad who venture into theaters with low
dresses III winter time. 1t is bad enough
for men.
And vet these attendants get quite Of
| Tended if we 90 not leave behind lis tie
only garments that will protect us from
sudden death Ee,ncmbe: that TO one
is free from the theater hiShwaJmcn.
Even those who go in with orders cannot
get out Of the cloal,room or prosra:nmc
tax At last they must pay. rcmcln-
Der once going into q tlleater with
friend who had keen sense of the ID
dicrous. think it must hayc been w.
S. Gilbert. Ii was morning perform
ance and he was attacked i'll the usual
way:
Goat, sir"
what do You want with itt?:"
ITO take it off.
Every well. he mur1nured innocently
The highwayran prepared to strip off
his coat, and behold! my friend, who
had prepared for the dodge. walked
away in his skirt sleeves! He had Only
put on his overcoat, with nothing I'M
derneath it.
Unconcerned he was preparing to en-
[ lCT lIlc SIstltS COillCSSs W lCii liiO tsVVN.4S
ant rushed after him.
Look here. sir, you must not so into
the stalls like THAR
"Why noty" he asked with bland
and innocent air. You asked for my
coat You have got it. What more can
you wart?"
The coat and cloak fends having been
disposed OF, you encounter tho second
rank of touts. Now it is programme
for which you must pay. They inso-
lently bar your passage. Thcy dun you
and din into your cars, Programme,
SIR 1t is not q civil request to know
if you would like a programme or not,
but demand with an implied threat
The implication is that You ;.rc stinsy
person, who has no right to DO seen in
the stalls.
But this is not all. Having gone
through the first easy stages of theatrical
purgatory, yon are worried all the even
ing with ice sellers ard chocolate vend-
ors and stale cake providers. If you are
in the stalls. safely wrapped up from
tho drafts. these touts edge in between
the very narrow and uncomfortable
stalls and generally make hay. They
tread on your toes. they disturb the lit
tie nest you have made, they make havoc
with the ladies' back hair, pulling out
coniiding hairpins and crushing the re-
suit of Che maids handiwork. They
don't care if they dig you in the eye
with an ice tray or powder YOU with the
refuse Of sponge cake or bury you under
chocolate boxes.
Their duty is to make as much money
as possible for the specializing contract
tort TOE. 4 is not their fault, poor things.
They all get commission on their
wares and it is their duty to tout
Clement Scott in London Graphic.