St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-11-19
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JE.STS AND YARNS by FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Wise Provision Of Nature-Quitc Pos
sibie-Wcaring on lima Filial Iri-
butte Spoiled.
WISE PROVISION OF NATURE.

butte Spoiled.
WISE PROVISION OF NATURE.
Little Dot wonder why it is grown
folks noses get 50 thin and hooked Whcr
they grow old?
Little Dicl1-IIuh! Any one might
know why that is. It's to hold tho
spcctaclcs.- Good News.
QUITE POSSIBLE.
Billings, Jr.-Pa, if an animal breaks
his back does he get humpbacked like a
human being?
Billings, Sr.-Ycs, my son; but what
makes you ask such a question?
Billings, Jr-I was Just wondering if
the hump on the camel was caused by
the last straw.-LTruth.
WEARING ON HIM.
Mr.. Scraggs man Jones never
pays his fare; he Just travels on his
face.
Mr.. Scraggs-I wondered what made
his features look so irregular.
FILIAL TRIBUTE SPOILED.
Popinjay-1 certainly was well brought
up as boy. To whom do you suppose
I owe all that have?
Bildjay-To your creditors.
QUITE FREQUENTLY, YES.
"Now that we are together
again for another seasons work, !"
said the teacher in the mis-
sion Sunday school, 1--WE will have to
arrange for little cntertainmcnt-by
the way" she added, ''can any of you
children tell me what an entertainment
| is?n
Up went a little hand in one of the
back benches.
''Wcll, what is it, Sammy2'
''It's sumpin' ter eat. - Detroit Tri-
bune.
PLENTY OF TABLE.
Fricnd-ITow do you like the table at
Mrs. Slimdicts?
Livcrmorc-WclI, when one gets up
from it, there is nothing left to be de-
sired.
Tribute OF FRIENDSHIP.
The Professor-In some respects Miss
Winchester is highly gifted young
woman. At school, | remember. she
cXccllcd in mathematics. In a large
class in geometry she was easily the first
Miss Laura kajones-Ycs, the dear
girl always was $3.50 angular you
know.
Penelopc-Jack really loves me after
ALL
Perdlta-What makes you SO certain?
Penclope-Why, darling, he tried to
make me believe that he loved you.
s!1cu TIDY HOUSEWIFE.
Mr.. Flattcman (who has been attempt
ing to shave himselr -Quick, Arabclla,
fetch me a towel or something, I've near
y cut my throat and it's bleeding terri
bly,.
Mrs. Flattcman- Henry, how in
consi'lcrate YOU arc-bccding on the
bedroom carpet, whcnIvc often told you
not to shave anywhere but in the bath
roon.-I New York Herald.
THE SUNNY SIDE.
Shc-But can't COOK and l hate to
wash dishes.
IIe-Thcn am decidedly the one you
should marry. | can't afford to buy
anything to cook, and so we won't need
dishes. = Life.
PRIZE PACKAGE.
Nilson-Shc don't hear me- She's |
all wrapped up in a newspaper.
BrOWn-There arc not many newspa-
pcrs that have such valuable contents.-
Kings Jester.
NO WONDER TIE PARRO DTS SWEAR.
Little Tommy Whykins had been
wrestling with q piece of bareback.
"Mamma,' said he, after a silence.
''What is it?'
IF poll-parrots get all the crackers
they ask for, I don't wonder they learn
to swear. y Washington Star.
TIE WRONG PERSON BLAMED.
care you aware said the man in the
rear ticrceIy, THAT your umbrella is polk
ing me in the cyc?'
at isn't my umbrella" replied the
man in front with equal ierceness, ''it's
a borrowed ore, SIR Exchange.
EASILY BELIEVED.
Mary-Mcbbc I'm ugly now, ma am,
but in my day I've broken many a
heart.
Mistress-Well, Mary, if you handle
hearts the way you do my china, be-
licve you.
NOT ENTHUSIASTIC.
Charlie-May announce our engage
o}l