Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-04-03
AN AFFECT APOLOGY.
MAJOR WOODLANDS NARROW ESCAPE
FROM FIGHTING A DUEL


Something like twelve years ago James |
il. Woodland, now private secretary to G. /
j. Huntington, but at that time the In
diana correspondent of the Cincinnati En-
quirer, met with an adventure in Mobile
which is worth retelling. Woodland told
the story himself, and therefore any one &C
quainted with him will understand that it
may be relied upon as strictly true,
At that time John r. Mclean and others
had become interested in the construction
of a railroad from Mobile to the shores Of
the gulf at the entrance 10 Mobile bay. On
one occasion Woodland was sent down to
look after the interests Of the northern
stockholders, expecting TO remain there
for several weeks He took quarters at
one Of the leading notes.-the one which
he preferred above all others on account Of
the general superiority Of its cuisine. He
had been at the hotel for several days, and
everything was moving along with him to
his entire satisfaction, but one fateful
morning, when at breakfast, the waiter
set before him a plate Of fried fish, to
which he was compelled TO object
It was not only an unsightly object, but
RAnhltu a ullHl NAlHANbfl AADI+ 81 uAAAll-
by the SMELL the fish might have been kept
over without salt from the previous sea
sons catch, ana, moreover it had been
scorched badly in the frying. Calling the
waiter back, Woodland requested him to
remove the fish, which he did. Then,
thinking nothing more Of the affair, he
went ON 20 finish his breakfast. While
thus engaged he was astounded at having
the Objectionable dish thrust under his
nose, accompanied by the demand from the
cashier addressed TO him in an insulting
tone:
'What hev yez TO say az inst that fesh2"
Woodard indignant at being thus adj
dressed, replied, with some asperity, that
he based his objection upon the fact that it
was unfit 10 be- placed on the table
"Yez're too particular fer this house."
responded the cashier as he dropped the
plate on the table and turned away.
IN The HANDS OF THE COLONEL.
AS he was about to rise from the table
Woodland was handed note from the
Landlord requesting him 10 settle his bill
and seek accommodations at some other
hotel since itappeared his present hostelry
was not conducted i'm "a manner to suit his
fastidiou5 ,astes. This was a sumner. He
had special reasons for wishing to remain
at the hotel, and yet did not feel like seek
ing the landlord and humbling himself TO
the extent Of apologizing He determined
to think over the matter for a few hours
before deciding. On leaving the hotel he
went directly Co the Office Of a lawyer who
had been retained as the attorney Of the
railroad company, and was there intro
duced TO "a gentleman somewhat past mid
die age, OF courtly manners and dignified
appearance whose title Of Colonel
seemed TO ht him as though he had been
born and bred 10 it,.
After a short time devoted to business.
Woodard became suddenly impressed with
the thought that his friend, the attorney,
might be able TO disspate the cloud Of
trouble between himself and his landlord,
and he accordingly related the incident Of
the breakfast table Before he had time
to say a word as to what he wanted in con
nection with the affair, the Colonel"
broke in upon him with:
Major Woodland, will you do me the
honor 20 place this matter in my hands,
1t will afford me great pleasure to serve
you, sir, and feel warranted in assuring
you that you will have no cause to regret
having confded the settlement Of the
affair to me-"
Woodland promptly assured his new
friend that he would be only too glad tC
accept his services, and thanked him for
his generous offer to serve a stranger.
SAY no more on that point, major" re
sponded the colonel. 1T is true that oui
acquaintance is quite young, but, sir, fee
have warrant for saying that any mar
who has been presented to me by my
friend, the judge here, must De a gentle
man, and it Is the imperative duty, as il
should be the heartfelt pleasure, of on,
gentleman to serve another
Alter inquiring if Woodland could mee
him there at y o'clock, and receiving an
affirmative answer, the colonel withdrew
and Woodland, after finishing his business
with the attorney, went about his bushes,
elsewhere Promptly at II o'clock he re
turned 10 the attorneys Office There IA,
met the colonel, whose face fairly beameC
with satisfaction.
SETTLED WITHOUT BLoODsHED.
1T is all right, major" said he, as b.
caught sight OF Woodland; everything i
satisf lctory. He viii apologize-ampl
and abjcctly. You viii have no furthe
trouble there, sir. He claims that the cas-
was grossly misrepresented; but we car
nothing for that, so long as he makes hi
apology in BETTING terms
Woodland had great difficulty in con
scaling his astonishmcnt at the words O
the colonel, but managed TO express in fiji
ting language his appreciation Of the ser'
ice done him.
Say nothing Of that, major, replied tn
colonel This has been a real pleasure
me. In these degenerate days, when "
find men settling their differences by resol
TO the courts or TO the bludgeon, it is
true delight C meet with a man who sti
has respect Tor the code, and it is a genuin
pleasure to belriend him. / am not quit
sure, however That it would not hav
been more satisfying had the cur show
some spirit, 80 that we could have had hh
out.n and the colonel's voice took ON
faint tone Of regret as he added, "and yo
should have slot him, sir, like dog"
As an understanding OF the true state
the affair dawned upon Woodlands mil
and be realized that only the cowardice