Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1892-11-26
PITIl AND POINT.


missionaries is to go to the bad,-Phila-
delphia Record.
When the small boy starts early for the
pantry it isn't to avoid the jam. Chi
csgo Inter- Ocean.
If the keeper of gaol is gaoler why
isn't the keeper of prison a prisoner
Sheffield Telegraph. - ~.---,
1t doesn't require any great optical
skill to give site to a blind asylum
Binghamton Republican.
Everything about a rattlesnake keeps
cool in time of danger except its tail.
That gets ratified. Lynn Item.
+ The dog who chases his tail is like
many debaters-he never reaches his
conclusion.-Eimira Gazette.
Buggins says the man who did his
plumbing is the most bilious person he
ever saw.-Binghamtou Republican.
Anything new on foot2' "Yes"
"What is it?' "Our baby. He's just
learned to walk. Lawrence American.
70 AIS he guick-tempereda" "Quick-
tempered? Why, his temper breaks
three records every day. Buffalo Ex-
press.
Jagson says you never really under
stand some men until you have mis-,
understanding with them. -Elmira Ga
zette.
A domineering person and a thrifty
tree have one point OF resemblance
their defect is overbearing. Lowell
Courier.
If the ears are but the remnants of
what were originally wings what flyer
the mule must have been. Columbus
Dispatch.
Robbins (near sighted) -"Hello,
Jonesl You look like another man.
Stranger-"I am. This isn't Jones. -
Town Talk.
al only got a nominal fee in that
case" said Brief. $50 the plaintiff
said. He said your charges were Pie.
nomenal. Black and White.
They tell me you are the leading
member of the college football team.
What position do you fill2n II put on
the bandages. Chicago News.
The women are now permitted to vote
on the Isle of Man and will probably
change the name of the place ifthey can
muster maj orIty Dallas News.
"The more see of dogs" howled
Tabby, clawing at Towser from under
the sidewalk, "tne better l like hem!
Yeaow! Spft!'-Chicago Tribune.
The fact that public official is the
servant of the people does not seem to
excite any wild desire to remain one of
''the people and be waited on.-Wash.
ington Star.
" She-''You would be surprised il
were to tell you that am past twenty
five, wouldn't your He-'I would be
surprised at your telling me, "-Indiau.
apolis Journal.
"Why did Dawson leave Hswsor,
Ropes & Coz" ale didn't like the
way they did things" "What did they
do that he didn't likeln 7'Bouuced
him. Puck.
= 1t Was in the School OF Design: Pro-
fessor -''What you have just drawn
there looks more like COW than a
horse" Pupil alt is Il COW, sir! -
Boston Courier.
Easily Amused: "The bald headed
man is easily amused. " "Do you think
so2" Eyes. 1t tickles him to have
fly creeping around the bald spot on his
head. New York Press.
Got 1t Mixed: MAMMA" said lit.
tie girl on the West Side the other day,
"what did they stop running that gar
bage cfeamatory forl Didn't it make
good utter7'-Chicago Tribune.
"The coffee is very weak this morn
ing" said one of Mrs. Hashcroits
boarders at the breakfast table. ''Set
it by the butter awhile" replied the
star boarder, Pittsburg Chronicle
r Mr.. Sn1ppry- "Er-you want me to
write in your album2 Something
humorous, l supposed" Miss Hardto-
kill - Eyes, something ridiculous.
Write your name. Chicago News.
Record.
~ "Neither my father nor grandfather
ever did bit of work in their lives"
boosted the visiting young man. "Gosh, -
said Uncle Summerbosr, ''wuz they
feeble minded, tool"-Indiauapolis
Journal.
"What, sir, you call me pretty2 Why,
am an old woman, my hair is turning
white, and look, here is wrinkle!
ga wrinkle No, madam, it is a smile
that has drifted from its mooringsr'-
LIE Gil Bias.
+ Dukane-'T don't think railroads
ought to hire astronomical engineers.
Gaswell-"What on earth are astrouo.
mical engineerss' Dukane-"Th
who telescope their trains. "--Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
l. Mrs. Bronson-"See, dear, what
lovely new frame for hat l got and it
cost only forty whine cents" Mr.. Bron-
son-'Good enough" Mrs. Bronson -
"And now you will be glad to let me
have S25 to trim 1t with, won't youl"-
Chicago News.
A Graphic Warning.