The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-08-25
aHdsrsaa gate11igentsr.
"About Lea. Cream"

Anu2e AOo. SAOoub
He slipped into an ice cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked him
what he wanted, he replied:
"Corned beef, fried potatoes, pickle.
and mince pie"
"This is not restaurant {; this is an ice
cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did you ask what wanted
for? Why didn't you bring on your ice
cream7n
She went sfterit, and ss she returned be
continued !:
"You see, ,;my dear girl, you must in
fer-you must reason. 1t isn't likely
that I would como into an ice cream
parlor to buy grindstone, is itf You
did not think I came in here to ask ID
you had any bsled hay, did you 2"
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on:
"If Iiowned;a % hardware store, and you
came in, INould: Infer that you came for
somethingiin my line. / wouldn't step
up and ask yon ifyou wanted to buy
mule, would II"
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouringa dish of cream
at the next table, and the stranger after
watching her for 8 moment, called out
"My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish ?" 40 !,
"Mercy no r. she exclaimed as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of it," he continued.
f;you find any, just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down again,
and then rose up and left the room. She
must have said something tothe proprie-
tor, for he came running 10, and exclaim-
ed:
"Did you tell that woman there we're
hairs and buttons in my ice cream ?"
"No, sir"
'.You didn't?"
mo, sir, 1 did not; I merely requested
her, in CAGE she found any such ingredi-
ents, to inform me |"
/. swell, sir, that was mean trick"
"My dear sir" said the stranger smil-
ing softly. "did you expect me to ask
the woman if she had found a. crowbar
or sledge-hammers in her cream7 Il
is impossiblsysir, for such articles to be
hidden away in such small Dishes"
The proprietor went away growing,
aud as the stranger quietly slipped away
at his cream, two young ladies came in
satdown near him and ordered cream
and cakes. he waited till they had eat
en- alittle, and then. he remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies' bit do you OBJ.
serve anything peculiar in the taste of thii
cream 7"
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
"Does it taste to y6u as if a plug oi
tobacco had fallen into the freezer7" be
asked. 4
"Ah kahp they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying to- spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out and II
wasn't long before the proprietor rushed
iu. t.Es {;
''see here; what in the blazes are you
talking about ?" he demanded. "What
do you meau by plug tobacco in the
freezer9"
MY kind friend, asked the ladies if
this cream tasted of plug tobacco. / didn't
taste any such taste and I don't believe
you used bit of tobacco in it."
swell, we don't want you to talk that
way around here!" confined the proprie,
tor.
ttMy ice creamsis, pure and the man
who says it isn't tells boldlie." s
He went away again, and q woman
with q long neck and a sad face sat
down and said to the girl that she would
take small dish of leman.ice.
1t was brought, and che had taken
about two mouthfuls when the stranger
inquired:
Excuse me, madam, but do you know
how this cream was rsde-have you an
idea that they grated turnip and chalk
with the cream SnS : Z 4 ,@sse<
She did not reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around and made for the door
The stranger followed after, and by great
good luck his coat tails cleared the door
an instant too soon to be struck by FIVE
pound tox Of 6gs hurled with great forcs
by the indignant proprietor. AS he
reached the curb-stone he halted, looked
at the door of the parlor and soliloqui-
zed:
"There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. suppose if I had asked that
woman if she thought they hashed up
saw.mill in the cream she'd have felt
a circular saw going down her throat" "
Christian Conducf.