The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1892-12-19
ON NINTH AVENUE.
Where q New York Millionaire
Bachelor Found Happiness.


by forcing his way into the group of
magicians known as millionaires.
People dotted their hats to HIM with a
deferential air as he passed; and in So
cial circles the good danes who had
daughters for sale Wore a smile SO
genial and warm that even summer
clothing seemed oppressive. They
angled for hun with the patience of
Isaac Walton, who used to say that no
one was true fisherman who wasn't
willing to sit on the bank of stream
until spider spun web from his back
to the nearest tree.
If Krumble was worth knowing he
was also worth catching, | assure you.
He had body which turned the scales
at one hundred and eighty, heart
bigger than his body, a couple of bril-
liant brown eyes, a shock of iron-gray
hair, which gave him a leonine appear
anee. and mustache which led strang-
ers to address him as general.
At forty-three, the age at which | in
troducc him, he had skillfully evaded
the blandishme and dangers of mat
rimony, and was sole possessor of him
self in fee simple. He saw the traps
which were set for his heart and for
tune, especially the latter, and took a
grim satisfaction in the thought that if
he chose to take wife he had money
enough to support her in good style.
He deliberately concluded, however,
that it would be better, on the whole,
to play the game of life with lone
hand.
Eben vas a self-made man, and the
product of his labor was extremely
creditable. A great many people who
try this experiment are dismal failures.
They generally manage to acquire
phenomenal self-conceit but most of the
best qualities of character are arrested
developments. They become pomp-
Gus, insolent and uncomfortable. They
would have made good oysters, if they
had been contented to have remained
in that station, as Tony Weller said to
his son Samivel; but, as the purse
holders of the community, they are apt
to be coarse, snowy, ostentatious and
hungry for adulation.
Monev-getting is a noble employ
ment. Every body wants enough to
furnish him with good roast and
warm blanket in his old age. That is
all that gold or bank bills will proper
ly buy. You can only eat your fill, and
one overcoat is enough to keep the
cold out.
If man had score of mouths and
could enjoy eating with each one, or if
he had the legs of a centipede and
needed trousers for them all, the case
would be different. But with only one
mouth and only two legs, he ought to
be easily satisfied.
Eben took himself by the coat collar,
when he had just turned forty-three,
dragged himself into a corner of his Ii
brary, seated himself in an easy chair,
and played with two or three logical
propositions
"a am not quite spending my income"
he said to the handsome face which was
reflected in the mirror. 81 have half
dravload of first mortgage bonds, and
the interest is paid every six months. |
made it all myself; didn't inherit any
thing except some few debts which the
old gentleman left. And" here he
thrust his hands into his pockets with
a self-satisfed air-'and, bless me,
made it all honestly. Nobody need
shrug his shoulders at me"
Then he got up and stood in front of
the glass Say, old boy, do you know
the largest part of your life is gone,
eh?" he Inquired. mo wife, but lots
of poor relations, who inquire after
your health every Christmas and ex-
pect a'good- by return mail.
If you should happen to get run over
by a cable car, they'd contest your will,
and prove that you We're Il blooming
idiot who was unduly influenced to
leave your fortune to the wrong
parties That's about all the recompense
a man gets for dying rich. You'd
better drop this drudgery and enjoy
yourself"
And he did.
He played good game of billiards at
the club. and was champion of the
whist table He never dined at home,
for splendid story tellers are eagerly
sought He went to Tuxedo, to New
port and to Lenox, and was the con-
quering hero of society everywhere.
But he wasn't satisfied No man ever
is who hasn't wife. A wife furnishes
her husband with enough to occupy all
his spare time. If he is profoundly in
love with her, and the honeymoon
which is generally leased for six
months with the option of renewal
continues indefinitely, he has all he can
do to anticipate her wishes, and invent
devices to secure her happiness. IT, on
the other hand, he thinks he has
grounds for jealousy. he is equally
busy, though in a different direction.
He finds both days and nights too short
for worriment, and signs, and misery,
and suspicious, and other hobgoblins
and bugbears which he can call from
the vastly deep
But If one isn't married, he has so
much leisure on his hands that he be-
comes embarrassed. That was the case
with Rumble. He didn't know what
to do, and was so tired of the humdrum
that he would have spent night in =
haunted house just for the novelty Of
the experience. 1t would have gwen
him something to anticipate and pre-
pare for, and, always provided he
wasn't scared to death, something to
talk of for week after.
He became frightfully sick of dress
suits. and dinings out, and fell into
sort of melancholy. The fellows
chaffed him, and one or two had
serious talk with him; but he gradual
" went from pale blue to deep and
hopeless indigo.
One afternoon he felt an impulse to
get away from his kind that is from