The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-10-29

spect him and use proper language in ad-
| dressi & him. Take back what Won iuSt
said to the soldier" ''
"Oi take back nothing" retorted the
angry citizen "Oi will only add that it's
you that's the ols kest fool in America.
sentry" exclaimed the governor In his
sternest tone, lis your piece loaded"
sit is, sir"
''Then arrest this man and take him to
the gu ard house. II he attempts to ESCAPE
sho him."
The cirizeus looked the governor in the
eye for moment, but saw there no signs
OF yielding. Then he politely doffed his cap
the words:
Col mel, yer honor, Pm mistaken. It's
nather yo' mr. tue soldier, but meself that's
/ the blankest fool in America
Inc cleVerness of this was Irresistible, and
the man was told to pass on to mass.
Only an lrishman," said Gov. Jones',
would have had the qui K wit to get out
OF scrape IN that neat manner"
| Sam Small and Frank Roe OF Atlanta
we're rival candidates for some local office.
omal took the stump, but Rice wouldn't
say word Sam tried every way he could
oeVlse TO Road his rival into hrsaking his
| eVlIant determination to say nothing, cling
| conndeut that If Rice attempted to speak be
would make bad mess of 1t; but the latter
| "N'NA SpShou MS IuOutu, nor even wrote q
| word to the pspe g. Finally Small caught
Rice III crpwd and told this story:
FRANK Rice is like u small boy that lived
10 West Atlanta, he said. The bows
mother thought MIN only half-wi tied, but
sne didn't want every one else to know it,
and 80 she tod him to keep his mouth shut
when strangers were around. One day he
came over to town with her and went into
shoe sore. just as they entered the door
his mother said to him: Now. son. no
matter what people say to you, don't YOU
speak word. Then they won't find out
you're fool"
While the good woman was buviu9 a pair
| OF shoes one of the CLERKS pa ted the boy o.
the head and sa to him: Whats your
name" No response. "Are you deaf, my
lit le manF' Not word from the how
Are you dumb, then9 Still not a word
us that your IN ther over there9" Nary
lou I'd from the boys lips. 81 Snow VIVA q
the matter with vou," said the clerk. you're
a blooming fool" AT this the hov ran To
his mother, beilo wing: "Boo-hoo- boo hool
Mother, this man has found out I'm a fol.
and | haIn't said a word"
This story was more than Rice could bear.
He didn't en- er JOLT debate with Small
but he withdrew from the contest.
Some of the best stories heard in the
south have bluff, witty implacable B b
loombs as their nero. For a long time af er
the war Toombs lived at the KIN ball house.
The decorative and dne carpenter work. in
Guiding the stairs Of the hotel, was done by
w0rkmen from the north. At times Col
Toomos took aboard a little more louor
than he could convene lily carry. and
on one OF these occasi ms was painfully
climbing the stairs i the Klmbali house on
his way TO bed when he stumbled and fell all
in heap. Two or three young men ran TO
him, lifted him up and steadied him on his
feet. Thus supported, Toom turned and
surveyed the stairs on which he had Just
fall n, with cOntemptu lusness written
on every line OF his face, and then he NUT
tered:
"A - yankee never did know how to
build pair OF stairs nohow!"-
Another story about Toombs which do
not remember having seel in print:
After the war Col. TOombs received a let
ter from his old friend, Oliver P. Morton,
tue suestance 81 which was shat If Toonbs
would come up 70 Wsshina on and simply
s4y he was sorry be you'd be sskea back 70
his sess In eopgresa where bis, sffisnda soon
hoped TO see him. ToomhE reply waScharac.
tsristS He said he might do this, but be
was afraid itFwould be muo Eliks he condi-
ton Of q Georgia man who was sxpslisd
from church for losing his tsfnper and
striking Que OF the sisters at . donation
party! 49,. .,t..rs-
. Bsiag man of wealth, the trustees of the
church didaf like to iese him, aud So they.
held nesting and agreed II he would riss
u. f. 9 ceag skaE a and, say be was sorry
he had struck the sister be gould BE-, toc-
given and taken back into fellowship. He
agreed to do so, ana next Sunday carried
as he rose TO his feet and said, "rm sorry =
brother sitting over in the corner in
CURED:
Are you sorry like a wording, or like a
true, peni ential Christiauf"
This angered the penitent beyond meas
ure, and he exclaimed:
"Yes, Pm sorry-sorry didn't knock her
durn head off !"
Such are few of the many, many tales
and anecdotes one hears in a day in the
sunny south.