St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1892-03-12
THE METHODS OF GEORGE.
How the Country Simpleton Amused th
Village and ..SponRed' Drink

How the Country Slmpletoa Amused the
Village and 'Sponged'' Drink.
Every country pla,e has its queer
character-usually several of them-and
the amusement of the natives is largely
confined to the eccentric sayings and &C.
tions OF these same natural jesterA
The humor is all the more droll because
it is absolutely free from any attempt
at drollcry.
Lucky it is for rural inhabitants that
nature provides this form Of entertain
ment, as otherwise they would run .
good chance of stagnating in the seri-
ous pool Of life and never getting the
benefit of . smile to soften their faceA
And so George Stowe in his humble
way was quite bene6cient CLEAN Of
light in the sober life Of little Yer
mont hamlet. George was Of uncer-
tain age and Of uncertain mental ca
pacity. He seemed simple, but in reali-
ty he was endowed with full share Of
shrewd Yankee cunning. He eked out
prccarious livelihood by driving .
hack to the railway station and trading
on his deafness
Nobody really knew whether George
was deaf or not When . man dunned
him he was as deaf as q post, and at
other times when he tried he could hear
u whispered conversation carried on in
the back Of his coach. It was always
unwise to put any confidence in Georges
iniirmity.
George also drank stale and bewilder-
ing draughts of beer, such as is always
served in Vermont, whenever he could
inveigle anyone into buying it for him.
The wicked railroad restaurant was
about the only place in town where il
could be had, and there George waited
and planned traps for the unwary.
''What'll you have, George" asked .
stranger whom he had just brought
down from the village. "a glass Of beer
or a piece of pie?"
"Yes. yea thank you." replied
Georg., affecting to misunderstood the
question, "rn drink the beer and take
the pie right in my hand"
Another favorite coup of Georges
was whenever anyone said ''Good-day''
to him to promptly reply:
Eyes, thank you, don't care II I do"
and steer straight for the bar.
And George worked this bit Of di.
plomacy so often and 50 successfully
that he was in danger Of becoming .
scandal in the puritanical community
through his tendency toward . condi.
tion of inebriation. One day while rid
ing down TO the station with . deacon
of the church George was seized with
ct of repentance:
Deacon" said he. IL would like 70
brace up and do better-stop drinking
and show all the folks that am . good
deal more Of man than they thought
see. have said was going to stop 20
many times and didn't do it that they
won't none OF them believe me now"
II am very glad TO hear il; but how
csn you convince them?"
'I'vc got an idea Now when We get
down to the station you ask me 70 have
. drink, and then I'll have . chance to
refuse right before them all and show
them that mean business this time"
''All right, George, we'll do il, and I
hope you'll stick to your good inten-
lions"
They reached the depot and went into
The eating-room. A large crowd was
there waiting for the train. The deacon
In his brisk and hearty way spoke up
70 that all could hear:
Come, George, have . drink?" he
said.
"Yes, thank you. don't care IL I do"
replied George. and he promptly walked
mp to the bar.
He had the drink and the deacon paid
Tor it. but the deacon lost . great deal
II faith in mankind thereby. That
night he made George the subject Of .
prayer at the Tuesday evening meet
mex " Herald