The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-11-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A fire escape--Insurance. Puck.
Better off-The man who is forced to
ride ai.--New York Journal.
The victim of lynch law is usually
very high strung. lnter-Ocean.
The rain always falls on The just when
the unjust has walked off with his UNI
brella.-New York Journal.
"Did you know his business had run
down2" al supposed so. | heard he was
going to wind it up. ."-Nast's Weekly.
A mans friends never find out just
how big a fool he can be until he gets
up to his neck in politics.-Ram's Horn.
The man who always stops to think
what he is going to say seldom says ex-
actly what he hinlls.-Somerville Jour-
nal.
az wonder why the Mediterranean is
so blue?" "You'd be blue if you had to
wash the Italian shore. ."-Life's Calen-
dar.
Gas terrible as an army with banners"
has no reference to political parade,
although the banners are terrible enough.
New York Herald.
The great value IN astronomy as a
science, morally speaking also, is that it
tends to make people look higher
Philadelphia Times,
at is the little things of life that
count" said the man who realized how
much noise ten-pound baby can make.
Washington Star.
'Mudge is still looking for snap, I
suppose2' "Yes, but he doesn't seem
to have the necessary ginger to make it.
Indianapolis journal.
Mother-''Do you know why your pa
called Mr.. Bowhard u liar, Tommy"
Tommy -"Yes'm; he's smaller rnan
than pa."-Brooklyn Life.
There are men with natures so small
that, if there is anything in transmigra-
ton, they will probably appear as mi
crobes. Washington Star.
1t would do away with a great deal
of trouble III this world if the gray was
more evenly divided between the inside
and the outside of the skull. Chicago
lulNl-CANAis
We have noticed that good people
usually wait until guest has repeated
all the gossip she knows before admon-
ishing her on the sinlulness of gossiping.
Atchison Globe.
First Office Boy--"That dentist in
room As don't seem to do much bus
mess" Second Office Boy" Why"
First Office Boy-''l never hear anybody
yelling in there. Yankee Blade.
Publisher-'I wish you would writo
us "a good sea story" Great Author
''But l have never been to sea. Pub.
lisher-'T know it. want sea story
that people eau understand. "-Tit-Bi
He-''Why is it that men are not given
to saying spiteiul things Of other mem
bers Of their sex as women are" She
al suppose it is because they are too
busy Dragging about themselves. -
indianapolis Journal.
The Boston girl never holIers "hello'
at the mouth of telephone. Sle simply
says, as she puts the receiver TO her ear,
81 take the liberty OF addressing you
via wire smcharged with electricity
Texas Siftings.
Bertha breaks her doll and it. is sent
out to be- repaired. A few days later
Bertha goes TO the store after IT,, bat it
cannot be found. "lIer name is Mar.
guerite," she explains to facilitate the
arch.-Paris Figaro.
Customer next February want
fifty cents worth of coal, if you please.
Coal Dealer-"You'll have TO 20 across
the street if you want an order of that
kind filled. We don't sell less than one
lump. Chicago Tribune.
$50, said the father, ''you desire my
consent to my daughters engagement to
you" mo replied Algernon, VINO
spent the summe. at the seashore, "we
don't want to be engaged We want to
get married. WashIngtoa Star.
He-''I can't make up my mind what
TO get for my new suit. want some
thing that, us Shakespeare says, will
proclaim what kind Of man ] am, " She
-."Why don't you get some dull ma-
torial W-Clothier aud Furnisher.