The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-03-04
uE WAS A LITTLE TOO LATE.
A Tale OF Conjugsi Infelicity In the
,.~osylvanta Backwoods.

whar on yer way up, did W"
"Yes, did, )" replied, for had.
"Were he gettin' along at o tol'ablc
stiff gait?" asked the anxious woodsman
"Yes, he was, come to think of it,"
replied.
"Seem ez il he were goin' to git thar,
did he?" said the lumberman.
"Get where?" I asked.
"To Geetown.
"There's no doubt about it," said.
"Were tina woman with him, did "
notice 2" asked the man.
"Yes, there was, 4" replied.
"Crosseyed?" questioned the woods
man.
Il don't know about that"
"Mole on her nose?"
"That's more than can say"
"Were the mule lame in the off hind
leg?"
"Didn't notice whether the woman
were crosseyed, hey 2"
"No."
"Did the man have yaller baird 2"
"Yes; a long, yellow beard"
From wat little y see O the woman,
dye think tina were room enough on her
nose for a good sized mole?"
"Well, yes, l think there was"
"Did the mule wheeze consid able as he
spun by W"
"He acted to me as if he might have a
touch of the heaves; yes"
"Couldn'tsw ar the woman want cross
eyed, could W"
"No."
Blackboard kind o rattly in the spokes,
an actin ez if pint or two o grease
wouldn't hurt it?"
at seemed that way"
"Woman hev on blue dress N green
hat with a red feather in it?"
II remember the green hat with red
feather"
"Were tina gap in the buckboards
dash, sumpin' like ez if mules heels
mowt "a gone through it some time or
other?"
"Yes, there was a hole in the dash.
But y haint dead sartin th't tha were
mole on the woman's nose?"
"No."
"Tha hain't no doubt, though, but wat
they was goin' to git thar"
"Not a particle"
Man in his shirt sleeves an one
gallus?"
"Yes. remember that he was in his
shirt sleeves aud wore but one suspen-
der"
The anxious woodsman paused as il
trying to think of something else to ask,
but at last said:
"Yll hef to 'scuse ME stranger fer
bein' so kinder curious, but mebbe y
mowtn't know who them folks bef"
Il haven't the least idea."
"Wull, the mule N the woman N the
blackboard is mine. The man is Sim
Bilger. He's slopin' with the woman, N
it's jist my durn luck to be too late to
ketch em, fer they've took the keers at
Geetown afore this!"
"What! The woman your wife!"
"Course!"
"Well, said /, at don't seem to me
that would go to much trouble to fetch
such woman back"
Fetch her back! Great hoop pole!
hain't arter her to fetch her back!"
What were you in such hot pursuit of
her for. them"
"Wull, it's this here way. Time she
sloped with Bill Balls, a year ago last
spring, she kim back two or three weeks
afterwards N said she'd fergot some OF
her duds, N she'd kim back to git 'em.
tor her whar she'd find 'em, hut she
jist settled down to hum ag'in, m were
bossin' the clearin' same ez afOre in less n
half an hour. She run things fer a spell,
N then sloped with Sam Fletcher, the
mule boss. 'Twa'nt long fore she diskiv-
cred th't she'd fergot to take sumpin' else
o her'n, n she kim back to git it, n first
thing know'd / were workin' fer her
ag'in. Las fall she cut sticks N dug out
with Joe Fassett.
"'Gosh! says. Il hope Samanthy s
mem'ry hain't ben bad this time'
says. If she's fergot anythin' this TRIP
mownt as well move out But sure as
sap she'd ben fergitful agi, N TWAIN,
three weeks fore she kim pran
Gin back hum arter sumpin' shed
left ahind her, n me N her went tc
workin' in harness ag'in. Now along
comes Sim Bilger, N Samanthy puts OF
her bes' bib n tucker N slopes with him
m I'm too durn late to ketch 'em!"
"Let 'em go!" said. "What do you
want to waste your time chasing up sucl
| cattle for?"
LET 'em got" exclaimed the anxious
husband. "Course I'll let 'em 60! Blu
here's lot o things in this here bundle
th't Samanthy's fergot! Wat l wanted
were to overhaul her n give 'em to he
so she wouldn't hef to come back te
'em! Now she'll member 'en in a weel
or two, n consarn it! she'll come hom
hummin'! It's just my durn luck!"
And the disappointed husband turnec
his horse about and galloped discon
solately away.-Ed Mott, in New Yorl
Sun.