Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-02-07

SUNDAY. FEBRUARY
from the view of gods and men head and
isfed with herself? 'The perfection Of
dresslng," says some manufacturer Of wise
sayings, sis to dress so that no one will no
tice what you have on" And you say, II
know men who dress in that way" Oh, do
you? Permit me to refer you to the frag-
mentary biographical sketch hereinbefore
referred to. How do you know he is dressed
in that way if his dress doesn't attract your
attention?
The Sexes Before . Mirror.
Place mirror in q show window or on
the street; rs or 80 per cent of the women
who pass by will look in it, frankly, aquick
glance it may be, glance "not SO deep as
well, nor so wide as a church door, but tits
enough, twill serve;" and it is open and
unshrinking. Probably the same percentage
OF men will do the same thing, but go per
cent of that number will act as though they
were looking for something to steal; they
will look sheepish if they catch you observ-
ing them, and will try to appear as though
they didn't see any mirror. But they look
just the same. You can catch them at it
any time you are mean enough to watch.
And while you are lying in wait to detect
the vanity of other men, you will have
nuWberless opportunities of gazing with
warm and approving complacency upon the
fiat features and muddy complexion, carroty
whlskers and crooked chin that make up a
countenance which your children, your
wife and yourself consider remarkably in
tellectual in expression and delicately
handsome in contour and color.
Study the show case in Photographic
artists studio; there are no photographers
any more; vanity demanded a longer name
and the photograph shop" has found dis
honorable grave. Note the pictures of the
people who have had their pictures taken.
For what purpose? Because somebody else
wanted them? As though anybody kept
photographs of other people nowadays.
You go to the homes of friends TO whom, by
their special request-or without it-you
sent your photograph SIX months ago, and
look for it now.
The Philosophy Of Photography.
The frame in which you saw 1t the week
you sent it, is in the same place, but it has
held in its embrace of gold snd velvet half
dozen reigning favorites since your de-
thronement People have their photographs
taken for their own qualification. Certainly
some of the faces and figures on the cards
never could have gratified anybody else.
at least, can appreciate manly nobility of
form and feature.
1t is pleasant to look at photograph
which resembles us Gas the mist resembles
rain,' shaven ard curled, barbered and
tailored and battered into CHASTITY imita-
tion of the most imbecile fashion plates that
ever maddened the soul of man with unut-
terable loathing, and say as we gaze upon
it, And that is myself? In my better
moods and serener moments I appear like
that to other people?" Then deep sighs of
qualification. one long lingering look of un-
feigned admiration, and we place the beau
tiful thing on mantel where we, at least.
can look at it as we enter the room. Van
ity of vanitiesl If there is anything on the
globe vainer of himself than man, playing
such fantastic tricks before high heaven as
make the angels weep" it must be a whole
''box of monkeys"
':My" wife and 'tmy" dog, and "my"
horse and ''my" baby. How much their
being ''mine" adds to their value. 1t feeds
the vanity of the man, and he brags and
blows and boasts about these possessions,
not always because of wife and dog and
horse and baby altogether, but sometimes
largely because of "my" From the boy
who wins prize for delivering Latin ora
tion that Cicero couldn't understand down
to the distinguished Biblical scholar who
evolves or convolutes theory on the au-
thorship of the Pentateuch that would
puzzle Moses, alike we are the children of
pride, sons of vanity, and the mighty weak
ness of father Lncifer do we initiate.
An Example Right Before You.
It is a prevailing human weakness Look
at all the capital rs in this letter, where
there is no earthly need for one of them.
Am going to scratch them out? Not I.
The patient. long suffering proof-reader may
jump onto some of them with blue pencil,
if he has no fear of DEATH but will not
am willing to compromise, and have them
all set in lower case, if the editor choose,
but am not going to have my is put out.
That is the awful big Me of all of u.s.
Vanity of Vanities. In the words of the
Apostle Paul, humblest and most self
forgettul of men, is the closing injunction,
"For 1 say, through the grace given unto
me, to every man that is among you not to
think of himself more highly than he
ought to think. "
The collection this morning will be for
the benefit Of the 'tAsylum for Men and
Women Who Have Broken Down Under
Excessive Modesty." The expenses of
maintaining this praiseworthy institution
has increased greatly during the past few
months, owing to the application for ad
mission of people who do not teel competent
to settle the Chilean question and frame an
acceptable tariff bill Last month the en-
tire cost of running the institution, includ-
ing salaries, was 81 35, and the estimate for
the current month is nearly So. The super
intendent is at present the only inmate of
the institution; he is not vet five months
old and was appointed because he did not
claim to be able to run this paper better
than the editor. 1t is feared, however, that
it may be necessary to suspend, if not dis
miss him, as he grows older, as the Board
of Directors have observed that he is de-
veloping advanced opinions on the doctrine
of Nursing Bottles; How to Hold Them
and When to Use Them
ROBERT J. BURDETTE