St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-08-09
MINNEAPOLIS,
NOTE AND COMMENT.

The good old days seem to be coming
back again. Several elopements and
public horsewhipping case have Oc-
Cured within the past few days.
The Telegram is coming to the front
with rapid strides. The editor now
carries cannon concealed about his
person, and the business manager stalks
about with big budgeon in his hand,
and has several cases of assault and
battery in the police court TO attend to.
Sure it is that nothing succeeds like
success.
There is no doubt that Mars is respon
slble for q great many things, but for
all that he is certainly entitled to little
consideration. A drunken man was
brought into the police station last night
by an officer, who had found him lying
face downward in the alley back of the
Bijou theater. When the jailer asked.
just to be sociable, why he had got
drunk, the fellow hiccoughed:
"D-dr-un-k. Ainsht you (hic)
'shamed (hic) 'fyourshelf toshay I'm
drunk? Haint (hic) toushed dr-hop.
Been lookin' at Mars. shafts hic) all.
Mars shintoXicated me, shafts all"
The jailer took his word for it and
placed him in cell where he could not
see Mas.
A good joke is told OH we'll known
local clergyman. who is shaped like an
Adonis, except where the feet are con-
cerned. He was born with very large
feet, and in spite of all his dear mother
could do they grew and grew. He is eX-
tremely sensitive about his feet. and
bushes painfully whenever they are re-
ferred TO. Several days ago he found
chat he needed new pair of
shoes, and, repairing 10 shoe
store on Nicollet avenue, he APP
preached one of the clerks and asked to
zee pair of number mines. The clerk
looked at the dominie'S feet and men
tally came to the conclusion that he
needed several sizes larger. He said
nothing, however, but took down all the
number mines he could fink OH the shelf
and the clergyman proceeded to try
them on. They were too small, and no
matter how hard he pulled and strained
he couldn't get number nine over his
big toe. The clerk pulled down the tens
and then the elevenS. but the result was
the same. They were all too small for
This clergyman with the heroic feet.
The clerk was tired and the clergyman
was perspiring and blushing fearfully.
II guess" said he. timidly, THAT you
udNC IIOlIllllS ~ NJ IOQl
seem to be great deal smaller than the
numbers on them would Indicate"
Now the clerk was inclined to be
what is termed 'freSh," and he re-
marked:
"Oh, pshaw. Go home and shave
your feet, and maybe you can get Oh
the shoe box"
Will there be a department at the
worlds fair devoted TO exploiting the
inventiveness of Americans? If so, the
Minneapolis street railway transfer
system might be exhibited as thing
fearfully and wonderfully made.
Sunday night street preacher stood
on the corner of Nicollet and Washing
ton avenues and told big crowd of
men and boy Of the terrible fate which
would surely OYertake them unless they
mended their ways. He told number
of stories to strengthen his standpoint,
as all good orthodox ministers do. One
of them went as follows:
when people come TO you for assist
Rnce always send them to the Lord. A
man came to me short time ago and
asked me for help. He was poor and
ragged. He was what we would call a
tramp. He said he hadn't eaten any
thing for several days, and wanted
enough to buy something to eat. | said:
NO, will not give you anything, but
will take you TO some one who WILL |
took HIM into room and closed the
door. then l introduced him to the Lord
and told HIM to pray and pray as hard
as he could. The result was that he
came cut Of that room a changed man, a
refreshed man, for the Lord helped
him.
This was more than tall, husky look
ing man, who had been listening to the
preachers discourse, could stand. He
pulled himself UP and blurted out in a
tone loud enough to be heard in lookup
alley:
"Oh, come off. Yer can't stuff that
down me. The sort of graft yer gave
that poor dutfer amt going ter buy a
meal ticket. Yer betcher life l've been
there, and amt going ter stand here and
be stuffed like that
With this lie worked himself out of
the crowd and walked off in Disguised
manner, While profound silence fell
upon the gathered multitude.