Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-07-07
A WEATHER PROPHET


the large end Of the opera glass and SHOULD
present the individuals as he thus see
them, far off in the dim distance, or els,
should place them in some remote land OF
the other side Of the Tropic Of Capricorn
or elsewhere. Holding such views, I woult
say;
Well, the country was called Lornland
1t was bounded on the west by the Pacific
ocean, on the east by the Sea of Fogs, OF
the north by the Polar gulf and on the
south by Aniceland.
Now il happened that both in I.ornland
and Aniceland wind and tempests and
hurricanes had a confirmed habit Of flying
around and tearing things TO pieces In an
ungoverned and ungovernabie manner, and
the heavens would on the most unpropi.
tious occasions open and drop moisture as
unpleasantly upon the just as on the I'm
Just.
Now the inhabitants Of Lornland were
not very numerous and were not very rich.
but the people who dwelt in Aniceland
were many and wealthy. 1t followed of
course that the Anicelanders had a gov
eminent which provided them with all
the luxuries Of good government. They
were soundly and roundly taxed. They
paid at high rates for their gas, and their
water, and their boulevards, and their
streets, and they employed many and ex
pensive officials, but they received very
large quantities Of government for their
money
IL happened that there lived in Anice-
land very wise and astute philosopher
This professor had noticed that. though
the wind generally blew where it listed
and even through doors which other peo-
pie bad listed. that, II you placed a man at
the extreme western border Of the conn
try, and that man happened to wake up in
the middle of the night aud happened TO
catch the wind skipping eastward at a toll.
erably lively pace, that man could tele-
graph to the Anicelanders to reef all sails
and stand by for a sguau.
Having discovered this very important
freak Of nature and art, this professor laid
the matter before Telemachus H. who
then ruled over Aniceland. That wise DO
tentate appointed the professor chief con
troiler Of the weather, and gave him many
heuchmen to scatter through the land.
Every morning the professor sent TO the
daily papers Of Aniceland statement Of
what the weather would De for that dav
Those statements the papers publishedu mn.
der the title, Probabilities. f" aud the pro-
fessor was very promptly designated As
Professor Probabilities
The Anicelanders were delighted No
longer were they compelled to souiut nm ar
the heavens and wonder what The clonds
intended to do. An Anicelander. as he
huttered his last muffin. glanced az the
fourth column Of the middle page OF his
ahiy paper, and having read what was
Their printed turned to his wife and re
marked.
My dear, get me my umbrella and ga
loshes' or, My dear. get me my light
oNercoat and cane, 10 suit the weather
which Prcfessor Probabilities had pro
vided.
To he sure, It sometimes % happened
that The professor made q mistake. and the
Aneelaoder who, trusting to "Probabili- .
lies, went cut with a cane came home
with a drenching. still the Anicelanders
Were aware that this would he a miserable
world II everything Was perfect and there
was nc ling 20 swear az, and 30 they went
on trusting 20 the predictions Of Professor
Probabilities.
Now the l.ornlAnders watched with An
III CONCEALED envy this new arrapgemen, ~
the Anicelanders. The I.ornlapSsrs uer-
not rich enough to indulge in a similar
luxury. but 70 course they hankere5 after
something Of the sort For long loog
time, however. they absolutely failed - I
IND anything which could supply the nlaos
Of Prcfessor Probabilities at a price within /
their meaus
Il Is wei settled that there i never q,
occasion without man for il. In thi.
that rule was carried ont finally. and =
man appeared among the LorulAndsrs WI, I
prcPostd TO predict for them the weather
without money AID without price
The lornlanlers welcomed the nv.
couner with delight. and called him ~
Prcqhei. he fo7stold their weather a.S
they trusted him irnplicitir Tbe tr..b /.
hat in iornlAnd IL SHOWS aud frvereS dr,r.
lng all the winter. and the sun zsDs-STiv
shines In summer. 50 that the Proohs. "a
to furnish = very limited s,-.
ply q weather
The Pruphet carefully oo-os.les ~
method q deterninirx What ktna -
weather would prevail. bat il v~xs ul.i- -
ivery Coe that he obsain~i so-,s q As il. !
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~ Nsozs fhs: he hsz.zs 81
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