The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-21
NOVEL LEGAL AUXILIA RIES.
Gentlemen w no Laugh Their Clients
Opponents Out of Courts.
Is-o,,, yba IN ;r1oo Jrfor Ocoou

Gentlemen w no Laugh Their Clients
Opponents Out of Courts,
From the Chicago Inter Ocean.
The nicettes of the law, its fertility OF
grip. crank and conundrum, are universally
admitted to be limitless The redundancy
of legal procedure is so vast as to be almost
exhaustless. But that there should be room
for an extension of the many professions
now conferred about justice will be a sur.
prise to most persons. And yet there is a
new and prosperous class of legal actors
who find their avocation both lucrative
and. pleasant. The following story, In
which the proper names are for obvions rea-
sons suppressed, illustrates the special "busi-
ness" of the new class Of legal practitioners
better than any detailed description:
"Mr. McGlue, 1 SUPPOSED" said a robust
looking man with a big mouth, walking into
the office of that well-known merchant the
other morning.
you'll have to excuse me just now"
said the business man swapping his watch;
"Pve got an important case to attend to in
court this morning"
EXACTLY - said the stranger. 81 noticed
it on the calendar, so l called. DON'T you
want to engage mes"
IA lawyer9 No-Pm not exactly
what you'd call lawyer. l am legal
cachintor.
"a what9"
"Why professional laugher. laugh at
all the jokes Of my clients lawyer; don't
you see2 Exasperats the other side. Crap
pie with the idea, don't youN
"Well, ri explain. You see there is
nothing so effective in trial by jury as
ridicule, satire, and so on. Now 1t is also a
singular fact ninety-nine of a hundred
jurymen never see the point of joke, no
matter how plain it if but they are always
ready to join any one who starts laugh
Just like flock of Sheep
"Are theyW
Eyes, experience has proved that the
large majority of mankind need to be told
| when to laugh. They have to be set IN mo-
! ton, so to speak, like a row of bricks
"Yes, but
"But what has that to do with your case.
eh? I'll tell you. You see, sit in court
where the jury can see me easily, aud when
ever your counsel cracks joke and says
! something funny l laugh like an end of a
minstrel show, and pound the floor with q
big stick. OF course, this jury joins in,
and the other side becomes perfectly furi-
ous." ..,--
"'Makes 'em savage, eh~ said the mer-
| chant.
ut does. And the savager the lawyer
kebS Vuo AilOAO SAO IuAJ NAN "a
| impressed in your favor. Why, Ia Skeggs
VS.. Skinderly last week, actually laughed
the plaintiff clear out of court"
"You did, ehF'
Eyes, SIR You see, when the opposition
counsel tries to be funny in turn l scrape
my feet on the floor, cough, drop my stick,
| and look as solemn as an undertaken l
throw that in, though, without extra
| charge"
THAT'S kind of you"
Don't mention it. Now just retain me
! In your case and I'll dPmore good than all
| the high-priced lawyers in the country. l
shant cost you muOh;-Il also put on a
couple of boys-appreDtices of mine.
THEY'RE not very reliable yet; but when we
work together we're team, tell you. One
| OF 'em is particularly promising has a
mouth almost as big as a doorway, and
| can break an ordinary window-glass-not
pure glass, you know-at six feet distance.
| bv laughing at it, five times out of six,
| Nearly shook down the gallery while doing
the deafening applause and 'uncontrolla
Bile merriment at political meeting the
! other night and"
"pll-aheml I'll think of it. Yes. think,
perbaps, you'd better drop in again this
afternoon said the merchant, thought
| fully.
And as Purify. the defendant in McGlue
VS.. Purify, is now carrying the case to the
appeal court, it is fair to suppose the spe-
cialist was engaged.