davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07
The Original Evolutionist,

Shakespeare was the original evolutionist
He anticipated modern science in teach
ing that man is descended Tor ascended)
from the monkey.
How sol
Why, he makes the ghost in Hamlet
say, Il could a tale unfold
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

"Here before me, the gladiator lie,-his
manly brow consents to death" All!
what a waste of good materials. Such a
brave fellow should not be left to die like a
log. Sad, sad to think, the noble Romans
had not Salvation Oil
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

When Baby was sick we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys.
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FiG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. ~ YORK. NJ
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

-BhH OF Eottbtd
the ordinary pill. Trouble when
you take it, and trouble when you've
got it down. Plenty of unpleasant.
ness, but mighty little good.
With DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pelletf,
there's no trouble. They're made
to prevent it. They're the origi.
nal little Liver Pills, tiny, sugar
coated, anti-bilious granules, purely
vegetable, perfectly harmless, the
smallest, easiest and best to take.
They cleanse and regulate the whole
system, in q natural and easy way
mildly and gently, but thoroughly
and effectively. One little Pellet
for laxative three for cathar-
tic. Sick Headache, Bilious Head.
ache, Constipation, Indigestion, Bill.
ious Attacks, and all arrangements
of the liver, stomach and bowels are
prevented, relieved and cured.
They're the cheapest pill you can
buy, for they're guaranteed to give
satisfaction, or your money is re-
turned.
You pay only for the value re.
ceived. Can you ask more9
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

in someway fallen off a farmers wagon
into the middle of the road, there to
prove u source of terror to the super
stitious and perhaps not altogether
sober paSSers-by,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

DIR. Foote'S new pamphlet on yaricoceie tells
all about IT, and what all men ought to know. Sent
sealed for 10 cents Box 1SS New York.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07
vALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale

Eff er Teller does yea dirty trick, never
let on like you know it; eff ye do, you'll
tempt him to follow We with n crime.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

FITS.-All Fits stopped free by Or. KLisEs GREAT
nerve Restorer. No Fit after nrstday' suse. Mar
yelous cures Treatise and % 90 trial bottle free 10
titeases. send 20 DR. Kline.93 Arch 81. PhLla, Pa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

They do say-that in the Isles Of Greece,
Sappho suffered terribly with catarrh.
Poor girl She had certainly never heard
Of famous Dr. Bulls incompatible Cough
syrup
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

A Cough, Cold, or Sore Throat
should not be neglected. BRowN's BRoN-
CHIAL TRoCHEs are simple remedy, and
give prompt relief. % cts. a box.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07
Called tha.Iurn.

Street car conductor-That boy must be
more than five years old.
Mother-Five years old The ideal Why,
wasn't married five years ago.
Conductor-Can't help that, madam you
should have been.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

II you are constipated, bilious or troubled
with sick headache, Beecham's Pills af-
ford immediate relief. OF druggists, 25
cents
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Eff ye wanter git even with Teller what's
wronged ye, watch ye, chances an per-
suade him ter read his poetry at social
yatherinp
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

If We want deep forcible character, We
don't want all brightness an joy in yer
life. The weakest, sickliest little streams
IL them that's always open to the sun.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Don't sue a man who has got lots of gold
to rattle in his jacket. Justice may be
blind but she amt hard o. hearin'.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

You Can Secure "a Good Business Position
by learning bookkeeping arithmetic writing. short
hand, etc, by mall, Bryants College, Buffalo, N. Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Billiards has been suggested to boom
church attendance in New York, but the
ministers are slow to take the cue.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Some Of the ground around Lombard
street, London, is worth 1000, 900 an acre.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

few animals are voiceless as the 81
raffe, the armadillo and the porcupine.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

cured Mrs. r. w. Harker. of Denison Ia. of neu-
taIgia in i've minutes, This Is certainly the finest
remedy in the world. Cures all pain instantly. Can
be taken internally % and 30 cents per box. All
druggists, mailed TO any address upon receipt OF
price. kenyon & Thomas, PrOpretors and Manu-
faCtureTs Adams, N Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The population of America increases by
1000 persons day.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Shorthand by mail. Easiest and host
system. Write o. X. Palmer, 1905 Chestnut St.,
PhiladeiI hia
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup, Tor Chill.
dren teethlng. softens the gums, reduces innamma-
ton. aays pain. cures wind collie. &c. q bottle.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

"Hanson's Magic Corn saIve."
Warranted to cure, money refunded. Ask
your druggist for 1t. Price Is cents.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The planet Neptune has the longest year
consisting of more than 10000 of our days.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Ef We want yer poetry to have the best
effect on the gal ye love, rit 1t of, read 1t to
her an send II to the other gall
The falls of Teverone will light Rome by
electricity.
Molasses Is honey to the contented man.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07
TOLD BY A GHOST,
THE SUICIDE OF A MAN MYS-
TERIoUSLY REVEALED:

"Oh, 1 Know Something Dreadful Has
Happened to Charles''-"Farewcll, BE
Kind to Poor LOU" Spoke the Spirit
of Her Husband.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Over 10000 patients are treated weekly
in England's hospitals.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The French presidents salary is $4,000
per annum.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Constantinople has been besieged twenty
eight times.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

There are nine per cent more men in
Greece than women.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The Chicago, st. Paul & Kansas City
Railway, (DiagonaD have now on
sale full line of winter tourists,
tickets to nearly all points Southwest and
West, at greatly reduced rates. Full par
ticulars may be had by calling on or ad-
dressing, j. H. Green, Gen'l Agent 230, 4th,
Street, Des Moines, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

THE QUEEN OF FASHION lmonthly) with
Its hundreds of superb Illustrations ranks nrst 20
cts. yeify, with free IS ct. pattern Of any style.
Send l2ct) stamps for sample copy. DladwoIth
* Co., &c E. l4th St. n. Y. City.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Some dress trimmings are made of bull
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

Coughing Leads to Consumption.
Kemps Balsam will stop the cough ut once. Go
to your druggist to-day and get a sample bottle
free. Large bottles 50 cts. and sl00,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The Only One Ever Printed--Can
You Find the Word?
There is 3inch display advertisement In
this paper this week which has no two words
alike, except one word. The same is true OF
each new one appearing each week, from the
DR.. Harer Medicine Co. This house places q
Crescent on everything they make and pub
lish. Look for il. Send them the name of
the word, and they will return You Book,
BEAUTIFUL LITHoGRAPHs OF SAMPLES FREE.
There are more republics in the world
than monarchies.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07
TABERNACLE PULPIT.
A SERMON APPROPRIATE FOR
THE OPENING OF THE NEW
YEAR, 1892.
This Year Thou Shalt DE-" Serves As
n Text For One of the Most Remark
able Sermons Ever Heard In the Tab
ernacle-Timo of Reviewing.

BROOKLYN, N. Y, Jan. 8, ls92-This morning
the Tabernacle congregation, meeting for the
first Sunday service OF the new year found, the
pastor disposed 10 serious reflections on the
flight OF time. The opening hymn gave the key
nntc In the familiar words.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-01-07

The circumstances ! am about to re-
late occurred fully fifty years ago, but
rise before me as freshly and wildly as
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
PLEASURES OF MEMORY

What blessed thing is memory
How II brings up the pleasures OF the
past, and hides its unpleasantnesses
You recall your childhood DAYS, do YOU
not, and wish they would return7 You
remember the pleasant associations.
while the unpleasant ones are forgotten.
Perhaps to your mind comes the face OF
some friend. It was once pale, sad
face. 1t showed marks OF pain, lines of
care. 1t seemed to be looking into the
hereafter, the unknown future. And
then you recalled how it frightened, how
it recovered its rosy hue, how it became
picture of happiness and joy. Do you
remember these things? Many people
do, and gladly tell how the health re-
turned, how happiness came back, how
the world seemed bright. They tell
how they were once weak, nerve-
less, perhaps In pain, certainly un-
happy. They tell Of sleepless nights,
restless days, untouched food, un-
strung nerves. And then they
tell how they became happy, healthy
and strong once more. You have
heard it often in the past, have you
not? You have heard people describe
how they were cured and kept in healthf
You certainly can remember what IL 10
that has so helped people in America.
Ifnot, listen to what Mrs. Annie Jenness.
Miller, who is known universally as the
great dress reformer, says: "Six years
ago. when suffering from mental care
and overwork, received the most pro-
nounced benefit from the use OF that
great medicine, Warmers Safe Cure"
All now you remember. Now you re-
call how many people you have heard
say this same thing. Now you recollect
how much you have heard OF this great
Cure. Now you are ready to admit that
memory is usually pleasing, that the
highest pleasure comes from perfect
health, and that this great remedy has
done more to produce and prolong
health than any other discovery ever
known in the entire history of the whole
world.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
An Interesting Compositiou.

An Ohio schoolmistress vouches for the
following as Il faithful copy of boys
composition on Columbus. Some of the
writer's historical statements are little
mixed" but our readers will not need to
have the errors pointed out;
Columbus was a great patriotic he was
born in Genoa. Italy. 1t is undoubtly
known what year, but think it was Fri
day. October i2. 1885
Columbus was the youngest Of his five
brothers and 10 one day he concluded that
be would go out and see il he couldn't do
something for his country.
He went to Brooklyn. New Lork, and
walked the streets until he was tired and
hungry. he then went to a baker shop and
bought him two three-cent loafs Of bread
he ate one going along the street and the
other he put in a red handkerchief and put
it in his pocket, a lady seeing him laughed
at him and made fun Of him. finally be
became so smart and intelligent that she
married him. - Youths Companion.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
A Fi.herman who went A-rlsbln..

Nimrods and anglers are fond Of telling
how Mr.. Jenney went a-fishin'. Mr.. Jen.
ney is one of the members of firm that
doesn't deal in anything except goods for
huntsmen and the kindred of that branch.
1t came Mr.. Jenney's turn TO have vacar
ton. He made ample provisions for piscar
torial pleasures, for Mr.. Jenney is particu.
larly fond of that sort of fun. Being in
the business he was equipped better than
the average angler. He reached the waters
where he was to create havoc with the fish
He put on his fisherman garb, unpacked
and went into camp. The greenhorn drew
nigh and looked upon the city fisherman
with eyes of longing The rod was con
nected. Mr.. Jenney stopped suddenly. He
had lost or forgotten something. His face
looked like whitewashed fence just after
rain. He had forgotten his lines, flies
and hooks. He rammed one hand in a
pocket and drew out bundle of things
He picked out string and an old fash
ioned hook, the same as that carried by a
boy when he runs away from school. And
thus accoutered Mr.. Jenney went a-fishin'
Chicago Tribune.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
Scratching Matches on the sky.

1t was evening, and little Brooklyn
boy stood at window with his face fat
tened against the pane. He was watching
slowly gathering storm. Distended. ON
inous looking wind clouds and thunder
heads went bowling through space, while
lightning flashes illumined the murky
aqueous background For some time the
electrical broadsides continued, but still the
little boy was an interested spectator.
Darkness settled upon the scene, but only
to make the lightning more vivid by con.
trast The little, boys mother entered the
room. Finding him intently gazing out Of
the window she asked:
well, Willie, what do you seer
At that instant there was vivid flash
of lightning, quickly followed by loud
clap of thunder.
"Oh, mammal Willie exclaimed, as II
he had solved difficult problem after long
study, II dess bod is getting ready to
light his lamps, cause he's scratching
matches on the sky."-New York Herald
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
The First Postage Siam mps.

The first postage stamps issued by the
government were the denominations of five
and ten cents. These stamps are now OBJ
solete and they would not be recognized
by the postoffices. The five cent stamp
contained portrait Of Franklin, made
after painting by John B. Longacre, in
which the first postmaster general is pre-
sented wearing a white neckerchief and a
coat with fur collar The color of the
stamp is light brown and there is Dor
der of fine, straight lines around the entire
stamp The ten cent stamp contained a
portrait of Washington made from Stew
arts painting; its color was black and it
had in the upper corners the letters ~
S." These two stamps were all that were
used until 1851, when letter postage was
veduced to three cents and new series OF
stamps came in.
All OF these stamps are now obsolete, but
they included eleven different denomina
tions. There was one cent stamp. three
cent stamp and five cent stamp There
were also ten, twelve, twenty -four, thirty
and ninety cent stamps: and in addition to
these two carrier stamps, each OF which
cost one cent. These stamps all bore the
busts of American statesmen. louisville
Courier-J Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
ANOTHER AFRICAN EXPLORER.

He Wandered to Busy Madison Square
In Quest Of the Festive Elephant.
He was squarely built, was dressed In
sober black. had a luxuriant dark beard
and his hair fell like curtain over the
collar of his coat.
His hands rested on a stout stick as he
sat on bench in Madison square near the
spot where George Francis Train used to en-
ergize his "Psycho, "and one could not help
noting in the strangers eyes the faraway,
introspective look that characterizes the
brooding Buddha or the philosopher who
dreams while awake.
AS was trying to conjecture who or
what he might be stranger stepped
briskly up behind me and said:
'.Sit near him and keep him in conversa-
tion for about five minutes until come
back. He will tell you some great stories
about the Dark Continent"
Then he walked OFF at rapid pace.
Astonished though was curiosity com.
pelled me to take seat on the s;tme bench
with the long haired man who was gazing
into vacancy, and l ventured to remark
that it was q pleasant day.
Lifting himself out of the fog of his re
Elections my neighbor replied.
Delightful weather. indeed, but big
game is scarce. | have seen the spoor OF
thirty elephants in a spot no bigger than
this, and got a dozen mighty tusks after
trekking for only two hours. The BARRIERS
spoil everything. l would rather trust
myself to the hotpotters-you have read
about them in 'She,' presume than allow
barber to run his lawn mower over my
head and currycomb me like brickyard
mule.
"You have doubtless noticed" continued
my eccentric companion. .'that BARRIERS
trust is now being organized Did you
ever hear of such an atrocious outragef If
you don't patronize them they will boycott
and blacklist you throughout every city in
the United States. Next they will force
congress to pass law that every man must
wear his hair no longer than an inch and
must pay for two shaves weekly whether
he retains his beard or not"
Satisfied that my humorous though
solemn looking friend was quietly guying
me said: Excuse me, but infer from
your words that you have Travelled exten-
sively in Africa Were you with Stanley,
or may ! be bold enough to ask your
namep
"Oh, l don't invite notoriety," said he,
"but have no reason to conceal my iden.
tity. am Allan Quatermain''
Before could regain my breath the
stranger who had previously addressed me
returned in company with another man.
"Come now. Mr. Quatermain," said
Number Two. sit Is time to get back to
camp"
The great hunter arose and went quietly
along.
"Who Is hei" gasped to Number One
IA patient who is being treated in pri-
vate home for insane persons" was the
answer "Quite harmless and will prob
ably recover. His chief hallucinatiop at
present is that he is a great African hunter
and explorer. He got away from us this
morning and we expected to find him in
the menagerie at Central park, but some
how he wandered down here instead That
gentleman walking with him now is doc
tor. New York Herald
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
SAFE. SURE AND SPEEDY.

No external remedy ever yet devised has
so fully and unquestionably met these
three prime conditions as successfully as
ALLcocK's Porous PLAsrERs. They are safe
because they contain no deleterious drugs
and are manufactured upon scientific prin-
cipl of medicine. They are sure because
nothing goes into them except ingredients
which IRE exactly adapted to the purposes
for which plaster is required. They are
peedy in their action because their medic.
inal qualities go right to their work OF re.
tieving pain and restoring the natural and
healthy performance of the functions oi
muscles, nerves and skin.
Beware of limitations, and do not be de-
reived by misrepresentation Ask for ALL
cocks, and let no solicitation or explana-
ton induce you to accept substitute.
ALLcocK's Com AND BUsIoE SHIELDS ef-
feet quick and certain relief.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
SONG AND SINGER.

saw him once, the while he sat and played
A stripping with shock of yellow hair
His own rare songs, In mirth or sorrow made,
But tender all. and fair
And as the years rolled by saw him not,
But still his songs full many q time sung.
And thought Of him as one who has the lot
To be forever young.
Until at last he stood before mine eyes
An age bent man, who trembled DER his
staff;
My sight rebelled to see him in such guise.
Ripe for his epitaph.
grieved with grief that to a death belongs
How Time Is stern had forgot. in truth.
And how that men wax old, whereas theiI
songs
Keep an immortal youth.
Richard E. Burton In Century
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15
An Emnress, Diarx.

The German empress keeps diary W which
no one, not even the emperor, ever sees A,
the close OF each year the diary is closed
with locked clasp and consigned to an
iron safe containing her majesty's jewels
The same key serves fer all ths diaries, and
the empress wears it attached to the chate
laine at her waist. The emperor often con
suits her regarding the date of past events
and has on several occasions asked her to
record some fact for him which be desires
to remember. Her majesty is close OBJ
server Of men and things, and it is prob
able that the secrets of the sealed records
will be interesting reading to future mis-
torians. New York Sun.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-07-15

Hard TO take
the big, old-fashioned pill It's
pretty hard to have TO take it, too.
You wouldn't, if you realized fully
how it shocks and weakens the
system.
Luckily, you don't have to take
it. DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets
are better, They're sensible. They
do, mildly and gently, more than the
ordinary pill, with all its disturb
ance. They regulate the liver,
stomach and bowels, as well as
thoroughly cleanse them. They're
the original Little Liver Pills, purely
vegetable, perfectly harmless, the
smallest and the easiest to take.
One little Pellet for a gentle laxa-
tive three for a cathartic. Sick
Headache, Bilious Headache, Con-
stipation, Indigestion, Bilious At
tacks, and all arrangements of the
Liver, Stomach and Bowels are
promptly and permanently cured.
They're the cheapest, too, for
they're guaranteed to give satisfac-
ton, or yonr money is returned.
You pay only for the good you get.