The record-union., 1892-07-23

l.
hope l shall find that the pale, miserable,
emaciated individuals who used to glide
| around Hunter square like restless
| ghosts, uttering groans and saying their
! stomachs felt like an old sock, have been
| changed TO corpulent, hilarious images of
what man was before he began to put inn
! proyements upon the handiwork of God.
| The close season for doves expired on
the first day of the present month, and
camp StewS are now common events. The
/ pop of the shotgun and the seductive
! fragrance of beer and burnt gravy is in
| the air. The small boy, with his paper
| wadding and cigarettes, is busy making
| red-hot summer scenery, and Staid old
COWS that never knew what it was to be
/ cruelty deceived are coming home with
wobbly legs and their backs filed with
/ bird shot a camp stew is thing one
should attend at once. early in life, and
| then never repeat the offense. 1t is a Sc
ductive thing, and when once one has ac-
| quired an appetite for camp stews he is
gone gosling.
The principal necessity for camp stew
| is a large pot in which to stew the chick
ems, pigs, ducks, tame rabbits and other
| wild beasts, and strange fowls that the
! hunters find in the woods. Next in i'm
| portance IS the beer, Great care should
be exercised in the selection OF this con
! diment, as an inferior article will destroy
the rich, raCy favor OF the stew.
| attended a camp-stew q week ago, or
| thereabouts. | know it was some time
after the end of the close season. That is
about all l can remember about it. That
is enough. Everybody in Nevada County
also knows [ was there. | went incog,
/ but suppose some egregious ass recog-
niZed my voice or got onto my jig steps.
l am told that I had a terrible hgnt with
man from Marysville, and that we
fought until the Marysyille man died
! rot ny-l
very much discolored, and that some-
! body suggested leecheS to draw the dis
! coloration out that there were no leeches
at hand, and that somebody scurried
around and found a few big green cent?
! pedes, and that the centipedes were APP
! piled to my eyes with successful results.
| | think it is blamed lie.
l have had several adventures Of
thrilling nature lately, but cannot de-
! scribe them all to-day, as the flies have
! committed suicide in my inkstand on a
large scale, and straightway kicked out
/ the ink so that | must walk four miles to
| get new supply, but ! will narrate one,
| Just to show how unsafe it is for lonely,
unprotected man to make mis- roost IN
! these woods.
| l was sitting in neighbours house
alone, for the neighbor, who is also a
| bachelor, had gone away to borrow sad
! iron to do up his shirt, when coarse
|
peared suddenly at the door, and said:
I've got the drop on youW
$50 perceive,' | said.
| 1t wasn't fair the way he did it. He
| had his rifle pointed at me before l knew
1t, and hadn't the ghost of show. He
should have been less abrupt, for | am
| likely to get nervous when man pulls
! bead on me ia that way.
| es, Sir," he continued, "Tve got the
drop on you, an you're a-comin' right
along down to the house. Thought you
could break up the peaceahleness of my
! family while | was away, didn't you ?
| But the old mans Just as smart as you
| You get up and walk right along ahead
O. me. Come; nldTch.''
!, l thought the man was crazy. He
looked wild and weird and excited, and
his finger kept fiddling away on the
! trigger of his rifle, SO l said I would
humor him, as l hadn't anything very
particular to do for awhile, and L got up
and marched. [ tried to talk, but he said
| he would do all the talking that was
necessary, and he ratified on, in his deep,
husky tones:
You air snake in the grass. You
thought you'd give us the slip afore the
old man got back, eh! But / know you
city fellers-you schemin', heart breakin'
wretches o. HI, am there's one of your
kind that's agoin' to father his work, an
| then pll fill him so doggoned full of lead
that he'd sink fiatboat ~
"What have done?'' l asked.
"Hey Done! pll show you what
you've done. You just keep that mouth
of your'n shut and walk. You can't fool
the old man. She wouldn't tell who it
were, and my son Peter said he knowed
| 1T was man as lives over here on pig
ranch, but when L seed you, sittin'
| there with your store clos on and your
specs on your nose, lookin' so all-fired
! peart, just knOwed in a minute had the
man as done it dead to rights. And when
she sees you, and sees that I'm all ready to
send your miserable little soul to where
it belongs with this old soapstick of mine
she'll own up. ., you needn't think
you'll get away. The preachers there,
and the old wOman's got him in the
| kitchen, covered with six-shooter
Wen fix you all right, you dunn snake
| The old mans lived in the woods all his
life, but he's travelled heap, and he amt
such a fool as he looks"
at last we reached the old mans house
and | saw the last chance of escape fade
| away to nal. AS We entered the door
! looked back up the trail and saw another
man, armed with shotgun, bringing
along another victim. l never was so
| glad to see another man in danger before.
| l soon found out the cause of my un-
| expected arrest. We passed through the
front room into the kitchen, where an old
lady, with corncob pipe in her mouth
and big navy in her hand, was talking
| to a pallid, clerical-looklng gentleman.
who had, l suppose, been arrested and
| brought there some hours previous to
my own arrival. In one corner of the
room, seated in a rocking-chair, with
baby in her arms, was a comely girl,
| with white, scared face. She looked
! Wonderingly at me as the old man pushed
me forward with the muzzle Of his "soap
sticlz.''
Here" he growled savagely, "here's
! the snake, rattles and fangs and all. Now
| you just dare to tell me it aint hiHlr'
The girl looked me over as butcher
might look over fat young steer, and I
saw that she was debating in her mind
whether it would not be best to saw it gaS
me, and SO gain possession of a man who
could afford to wear specs on his nose
and q tailor-made coat But lust as sne
opened her lips to say Thou art the
man." or words to that effect, the other
man with the shotgun marched his vic
tim into the room and said:
Here he is. He owned up comm over,
and he SAYS he'll marry her, and live
with her and do the square thing. Is the
preacher here, all o. x. 20
Eyes, he's here, you bet!' said the old
woman.
"And the license?"
''Tne old man got it himself. There's
one name wrong, but we'll just fix that,
l guess.'
Then the preacher got up, and the cere-
mony was performed to finish. 1 came
away before the old man apologized, but
L IN going down there next year, maybe,
and make him do it. A. V. HoFFMAN.
Hardscrabble, July u, 1892.
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