The weekly tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1891-1894, 1892-06-25
THE FREE LIST.


e turns to her wallow and the dog to hi
g vomit--or words to that etfect-in it,
t defense of the 'robber'' tariff. In a re
r cent article under the somewhat vague
@ headline. Now Let the Tariff RefOrmeI
Rage" it enters into a defense of the
Mckinley monstrosity and makes 6
J, vicious attack upon the yet unknown
tariff plank in the Chicago platform. II
wildly charges that "the Mckinley bill
3 has been studiously misrepreserted by
) the democratic press" and that never
| once have these democratic mouthpieces
given expression to the truth that there
are now more articles on the free list,
under that awful Mckinley law, than
have been on the free list since the year
1860"
Our newly converted and jaundiced
neighbor is mistaken in its charges. In
the vernacular of its environments the
River Press has cut out the wrong steer.
While democratic newspapers have
studiously and carefully and truthfully
represented the Mckinley tariff as a
high protection measure, in which en-
deavor they have received the cordial
support of republican prints, the River
Pfess would now make it appear that
Mckinley is a free trader. and that his
tariff is a free trade measure, because as
it boastfully asserts there are more
articles on the free list than there have
been since 1860. Now if a democratic
newspaper had called Mr.. Mckinley a
free trader and his tariff a free trade
measure the River Press in it's new born
zeal for it's latest love would have gotten
on its right royal ear and denounced it
as an Ananias with a Sapphire attach
believed the democratic newspaper
would hit the nail squarely on the head.
The River Press winds up its philippe
with the declaration: ''They do not adj.
nit it; they dare not deny it."
Again our bantum contemporary is
mistaken. Democratic newspapers do
admit that the Mckinley tariff enlarges
the free list. and the TRIBUNE, for one.
admits the enlargement abounds in
blessings to the poor. But we do not re-
member any republican newspaper has
enumerated any of these blessings. The
TRIBUNE. however, will take it upon
itself to measure a few of them in order
that an ignorant world may understand
what Mr.. Mckinley has lone for us. In
the first place Mr.. Mckinley gave us free
hair, free glass eyes and free teeth. Now
if there is anything in the world that a
laboring man with a large family to sup
port wants they are hair, glass eyes and
teeth. The first holds the butter to-
gether, the second the children play with
and the third comes handy when there
is anything in the house to eat.
But Mr.. Mckinley has provided
against an empty meal chest and an
empty stomach. His tariff generously
gives ue free acorns, provided they are
u%nground. Ground acorns are fairfield,
but one but the rich want ground
acorns. Here is where MI. Mckinley
hits the blOated bond-holders a rap over
the knuckles. The poor can boil their
acOrns whole. or pound them in a hand
mortar. Acorns are pretty rough on the
internal economy Of men, women and
children, but right here is where the
wisdom and foresight of the great tariff
maker was prominently displayed. lie
gave the American people free CUTS. If
they wear out one set in digesting acorns
they can get another without paying a
single cent of duty on them. Generous
Mckinley! Thankful people!
But Mr.. Mckinley did not stop here
in his efforts to tighten the burdens of
an over-tayed. under-fed and under paid
people. lie opened the bowels of his
compassion and gave them free bladders.
What a blessing! The man who cannot
comprehend its height, length and
breadth should take lessons in political
economy, or the editorship of the River
Press. Passing along down the long list
equally useful articles put upon the
free list by Mr.. Mckinley we find divi
.ivi. bristles, verdigris, worms and other
like prime necessaries Of life. They are
too numerous to mention in the columns
Of a newspaper, but the few we have
show that in drafting his measure
Mr.. Mckinley had an eye to the eternal
fitness Of things by taxing such little
articles as blankets and clothing and tin
ware and table cutlery and lumber and
glass and farming implements and bind
ing Irvine, while hair, and teeth. and
glass eyes. and CUTS, and bladders, and
bristles, and worms are magnanimously
placed upon the free list.
But the true inwardness of Mr.. Nc
Kinley's supreme love for the laboring
man IS not unveiled in the free list until