The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-06-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A fresh skin-The latest confidence
game.
Beats the world-Tho impecuuious
tramp.
A woman's will always has lot of
codcils to it.
Among the goods that "won't wash"
is the article known as the small boy
Truth.
Wrinkles on the brow are times en-
dorsement of the note for borrowed
rouble.-Puck.
The wonderful cheek of man some
times covers three or four achers.-
Galveston News.
The bundle on the end of stick is a
pretty sure sign of the man who has lost
his grip.-Puck.
No man is great enough to veto mill
linery bill after his wife has o. X. d it.
Galveston News.
Armies are frequently put to flight.
Perhaps that is what they have wings
for.-Boston Transcript.
The new monthly magazine, Good
Roads, seems to be on the highway to
success. Boston Herald.
Make friends with your creditors, if
you can; but never make a creditor of
your friend. Texas Siftings.
Terse: Mudge-"Oh, say, old man,
how are you off financiallyl" Yabslcy-
"Away."-Indianapolis Journal.
The world is full of men who have
things they want to sell for less than they
paid for them. Globe.
The person who is afflicted with klep-
tomania always feels that he fought to
take something for it."-Washington
Star.
Pedestrian-"How is it that this street
is so much dirtier than the other" Cop
1.-THE women never walk here. New
York Sun.
Hicks-'Digby is a great man to stick
to his opinion" Wicks-''And yet he
gives it to everybody he meets. boston
Transcript.
"Mrs. Primmius is exceedingly neat"
ayes. If she could have the earth she
wouldn't take it because it would be i'm
possible to keep it clean. ."-Washington
Star.
Make up your mind to be more chari.
table for people, and the man you hate
most will come in while you are plan
ming where TO commence. .--Atchison
Globe.
Jerseyman-" want to buy brush"
Drug Clerk-"Tooth brushl" Jersey
man-s'Nawl What would want a
tooth brush fort There amt no hair on
my teeth. New York News.
"Oh, spare me, dear angel, one lock
of your hair, a bashful young lover took
courage and sighed. 'rwere sin 10
refuse 50 modest prayer, so take the
whole wig," the sweet creature replied.
It'd Bits.
A Boston cynic asks in the Transcript:
"What is lovel" And this IS his frivol-
Gus answer. "Two heads with but a
single thought, two fools that act like
one" B.ess their hearts, anyhow
Buffalo Commercial.
Judge-"What extenuating circum-
stances can you give" Counter .eltcr-
"Please your honor, made the money
to pay my board bill" Judge -"NGry
good; it will pay your board and lodg-
ings for fifteen years. ."-Priuccton
Tiger.
Railway Director-"Wc have divided
up the work so that each OF the directors
has fair share to do. Higginson is
Secretary, | am Treasurer, and Proqt is"
Friend-"Wby, Proat is so deaf that he
can't hear thunder! What does be dor
Railway DirectOr-"Oh, all the COM
plants are referred to him.
"Several of the leading parishioners
have complained to me, said the pastor
as he wiped his glasses, ''ot the loudness
of the dresses worn by some of the
young ladies of the congregation, but |
have refused to interfere in the matter,
as am so deaf that they cause me No
annoyance. Brooklyn Elgle.
Insurance Agent came TO call your
attention to the fact that your policy ex-
pires to-day and beg you to renew it. -
Economist-'Ncry sorry, but this Is the
tenth year that l have insured in your
company and nothing has happened, so
have made up my mind to try ano:her
company. ."-Fliegendc Blaetter.