davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06
DRY GOODS
q = COS

Proposing to make a change in our
business, we will offer our entire
stock of Dry Goods at cost for the next
so days. No such chance to buy nice
fresh goods at cost was ever before
offered in Portland.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06

The State Assessors, Messrs. BENZ. F.
Chadbourne, Frank Gilman and Otis
Hayford, have arrived in the city and
will be in session at the city building be-
ginning at a. m, ito secure informa-
ton to enable them to make just and
equal assessment of the taxable property
in the several towns in the county, and
to investigate charges of concealment of
property liable tesassessment, as re-
quired by law"
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06
Week of Prayer at Free Street Church

This is the progra palne for the week.
Church -TuesdaHs2,3o P. M.
Services for Conference and prayer-Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday 7.45 p. m.
The young people will have charge of
the meeting this evening.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06
HarpswelI.

well for few days. Her sister, Miss
Mira Cosgrave, from Lexington, Mass,
is visiting her.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06

Rooms, 81 per day and upward. This popular
house, located in the business centre Of Boston.
under it's new management, and with its new
furnishings and increased facilities offers. at
guests that are unsurpassed. Large sample
rooms for commercial men. Special attention
given to club and association dinners. A gen
tlemen's cafe to be opened on the street floor.
GEO. A. KEELER--ALFRED A. POCOCK,
Proprietors. jan4-1m
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06
WEST HARPswELL.

Rev. E. I'll. Doane from BroOklin, Me.
has moved with his family into the
Baptist Parsonage. Mr.. Doane began
his labors with the Baptist Church here
last Sunday.
dist church, met with Mrs. Jas. Dyer on
Friday evening last There were a large
number present and spent very pleas
ant evening.
Two of the ice houses belonging to the
West Harpswell Ice Company were
blown down during the recent gale.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-06
HarpsweIl,

The County Commissioners have laid
out the road from the town way on
Orr's Island to the steamboat landing,
the said road to be three rods wide.
They have awarded Mr.. Prince, owner
of the land SITS for damages.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
HE COPPERED HIS SUIT.
1t Was in the Cause of Religion, but He
Lost.

1t Was in the Cause of Religion, but He
Lost.
Deacon Sharp. who lives in the Buck
eye valley. has never married. He
made the attempt once. but his humil-
ity and piety worked against him. He
was the same long. solemn-visaged chap
then that he is now, with what is known
as gift of prayer" In season, and
out of season. he was ready at any mo-
ment to flop down on his knees and tell
all he knew of spiritual grace. There
were those who said he liked to hear
himself talk.
On this occasion he asked Jenny Price
to be his partner for life, and Jenny,
who was prime little school-teacher,
consented.
Then the deacon Topped. He began
in his usual strain by invoking forgive
ness for his sins. He was everything
that was vile, and. as he enumerated
the crimes laid down in his own imagi.
nation, Jenny began to fidget. At last
she touched the deacon on the shoulder:
You needn't pray any more on my
account" she said, Il wouldn't think
of marrying such a wicked sinner. II
you are only half as bad as you say you
are, wouldn't have you. l hope you
will repent before it is too late
And she left the astonished deacon to
his own reflections upon matrimony
and grace.-Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20

ST FLUNG MYSELF on UNCLE POFFKINs."
and bought her similar pair. They
cost eighty guineas. The struggle l
had witnessed was between love and
economy. not honesty and crime.
1 swore that the earrings found in
my bureau had not been placed there
by me.
And you are both quite right. "
said Dora ''Uncle's earrings are
not the stolen ones. Tom. do you
remember having the toothache?"
1t was clear to me in moment.
had asked for cotton wool, had
been directed to my aunt's jewel
box and from it 1 grabbed large hand
full and carried it to my room. Then, on
reflection, had tried brandy instead Of
laudanum. and the cotton wool was
thrust into the drawer out of the way.
The earrings had been buried in the
cotton wool.
$50 you were the thief yourself!'
laughed Dora. 1t was true.
If only l had strictly followed out
what my reading had taught me! For,
improba BILE as it was that | should
think Uncle Poffllins guilty. it would
have been still more improba had
fixed the crime on myself. l lacked
the full courage of my principles, and
the result is Uncle Poffkins and do
not speak.-St. James Bud get.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20

The old practice of badgering wit
nesses has almost disappeared from
many courts: but in a western Kansas
town it is still kept up-sometimes,
however, to the damage of the cross
examiner. Lawyer s is well
know for his uncomely habits. He cuts
his hair about four times year, and
the rest of the time looks decidedly
ragged about the ears. He was max
ing a witness describe a barn, which
figured in his last case. How long
had this barn been built?" ''Oh. I
don't know. About year, mebby.
About nine months, p'raps." But
just how long? Tell the jury how loug
it had been built well. / don't
know exactly. Quite a while" ''Now,
Mr.. b, you pass for an intelligent
farmer. and yet you can't tell how old
this barn is; and you have lived on the
next farm for ten years. Can you tell
how old your own house is? Come,
now, tell US how old your own house
is. if you think you know" Quick as
lightning the old farmer replied: ''Ye
want to know how old my house is. do
We? Well, it's just about as old as you
be. and needs shinglin' about as bad."
In the roar that followed, the witness
stepped down, and was not called
back.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
THE STORY OF. A SKULL.

No Affidavit to It's Truthfulness Ia
Deemed Necessary.
A skeleton in the office of the Vienna
Progress, doctors stratagem and a
frightened editor. DIR. w. S. Howell,
brother of the editor of the Progress,
had this skeleton in box. One day he
pulled out the ugly, ghastly. grinning
skull and began to handle it around.
Finally he decided that he wanted that
skull opened so that he could study the
inside structure. There being several
seams in the skull he decided to fill the
skull with peas and soak them in water,
thinking that they would force the
seams apart. He asked the editor to
help him and the latter poured peas and
water into the hollow bone and corked
up the eyes and nose holes to keep them
from running out.
Some time after the editor was
startled to see that the peas had sprout-
ed in the skull and the vines were of
most wonderful growth. Out of the
hole where the backbone is joined to
the neck an army of little vines had
grown. and by some unknown in
stinctive power they had twined in and
through all the bones of that body.
The young tendriils had wrapped
around the stovepipe and table legs,
and the whole skeleton had been
reared upright in the middle of the
room From the nostrils and eyes
vines were streaming that had clustered
around and upon the presses. stand and
tables, and from each joint hung pod
in the likeness of a small skull, the ex-
act counterpart of the large one.
1t is rumored that when the editor
beheld these things he left the office by
the window route. and the skeleton is
still in full editorial control-Atlanta
Constitution.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
Sagacity of Birds.

A Pennington gentleman tells a gooa
tory of the sagacity of the purple mar
tens, which abound in that vicinity.
This gentleman has over fifty of these
social birds in the house upon his
grounds. A day or two ago, while the
birds were flying about the garden, a
cat caught one of the martens and start
off with it in her mouth, the bird cry
ing piteously. Quick as flash, how
ever the whole flock of martens were
after pussy. lighting on her back as
''thick as fleas." pecking and scratch
ing her, and screaming as only martins
can. Puss could not stand this very
long, and she dropped the marten,
arched her back up. spit. and ran for
life. Then the birds left her, and all
flew to the house, loudly chattering
over the rescue of their comrade-Ken.
ne5ec Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
PITH AND PolNr.

Many man has won q boys heard
by helping him to make kite.-Ram's
Horn.
There is not so much tax as there Il
rent about q barbed-wire fence.-Bing.
hamton Republican.
-Jagson says there are lots of men
who start for heaven too late to get past
quarantine.-Elmira Gazette.
What makes you think Miss Hen.
nings loves you?'' ''I'm the only man
she won't fiirt with. News
We all need more of that kind OF
charity that will make US think well OF
people who differ with us in politics.
Rams Horn.
1T is a terrible wrench to ones COM
fidence in human nature when your
family physician says 'he's sorry to find
you ill.-Boston Transcript.
The corn-salve that is not q sure
preventive of cholera is made by man
who doesn't understand the art of adj
vertising. -Binghamton Republican.
The girl who marries for money
usually has look on her face after
marriage that indicates that she is hav-
ing trouble collecting her salary
AUC0lSOQ ulOOe,
$50 she's Handsomely" "Handsofnef
Why I've seen two policemen tumbling
over each other in their eagerness to
get to her side to escort her across the
crossing."-N. Y. Press.
1t is difficult for the belated club
man to realize that the towering fe-
male who stands at the head Of the
stairs is the timid little girl who once
tainted in his arms at the sight of q
mouse.-Tid-Bits.
"A Disinterested Offer.-Next-door
Neightor (wrathfully)-''Co You
manage to have little less of your
daughters duet playing?" Practical
Parent-"Ill tell you what. You marry
one of them; that'l soon stop it."
-Mother-"what is Jennie yelling
about?' Father-"She is in her room
all alone with a mouse" Mother
'sMercy on us! She was in the parlor
all alone with young man last night
and never heard her say word, -
Spare Moments. y
-Watts-''It is a wonder to me that
no one has come forward with the claim
that the Chinese were the inventors of
the pneumatic tire. They have been
credited with almost everything else"
Potts-"Well, the pneumatic tyer was
an invention of the Greeks. Don't you
remember Eolus. who bound the winds
in bag for Observation-Disclosures
Journal
What's in Name.-A Detroit man
was visiting farm with his six-year-
old boy and in passing field the boys
attention was called to machine in it.
"What's that, papa" he inquired. "a
reaper and mower" replied the father.
"How much more, papa?" asked the
boy, innocently, and the father began
to think how the name might really
strike one who was ignorant of such
things.-Detroit Free Press.
She Didn't Have To.-''Do you think
any girl ever proposes Leap year, as
they say, Jennie?" he asked. ''Not un-
less she is obliged to-" answered the
maiden. elm! / hadn't thought Of
that" he said. after pause. "But
George" she said. laying her hand upon
his arm and looking into his eyes. you,
I am sure. will not force me to that
humiliation" 'sNo-er-that is to say
of course not. L" The ice was
broken, and three minutes later George
was Jennie's Observation-Disclosures Blade
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20

angel had triumphed so far as to bring
the earrings within fifty yards OF Aunt
Poffkins, but now came the tug of
war. 1t was severe, and it ended in
the victory of evil. Uncle Pofkins,
shutting the case with a snap, eX-
claimed:
s.It's all blamed nonsense! I'll take
'em back to Abrahams tomorrow"
Abrahams, no doubt was the receiver,
for my uncle went on in satisfied
tone:
Hell make no trouble about taking
'em" He was putting the case into
his pocket when my feeling overcame
me. Respect for ones elderly rela-
tives is a praiseworthy feeling, but it
must not be allowed to override higher
duties. 1 flung myself on Uncle Poff-
kins, crying:
Surrender. You cannot escape met"
My uncle fell heavily on the gravel
path. 1 fell heavily On the top of him
and pinioned his arms to the ground.
Tom he exclaimed, what the
mischief-are you drunk?"
1T is useless, SIR" began, ''to affect
ign" had reached this point when
1 was violently collared from behind,
lifted bodily off my uncle's chest,
| where had been sitting, and was de-
posted on a grass plat, while deep
voice said in my ears:
''Now, then, young man, turn it up.
You're a lively 'un. you are. Fust yer
aunt and now yer uncle" The new
| conner was policeman. From his
pocket he produced pair of hand
cuffs and put them on my unresisting
wrists Then l found my voice.
What are you Handwriting me for?"
/ demanded. There's the thief"
"Gammonr' said he, grinning.
"Why, you fool, there's the prop
erty," said ]. He looked and saw the
earrings lying on the ground by Uncle
Poffkins. An expression of bewilder-
ment overspread the officers face as,
cropping again in his pockets, he
brought forth pair of earrings. Then.
gazing at the pair in his hand to the
other pair on the ground, he calculated
softly, and, to my ears, at least, mys-
teriously:
''These earrings in my and was
found in your drawer, young man,
| wrapped in cotton wool. 'Ow do you
| account for that?" Those on the
ground 1 retorted, "were found in Mr..
| Poffkins' pocket. How do you account
| for that?' He shook his head sadly.
Then he suddenly frightened up. He
had an idea He produced another
pair of handouts, clapped them on my
uncle's hands and cried cheerfu]ly:
"We can't be wrong now, can we?
| March, So Uncle Poffkins and
marched, the policeman between US,
| with mold on each of our collars, and
| in this predicament we were presented
| to Aunt Poffkins, to Dora and to the
housemaid. The housemaid giggled
consumedly, for which under the cir
cumstances one could hardly blame
| her. Aunt Poffkins experienced a re-
lapse. and Dora alone was equal to the
situation. She made us sit down, and
| gave us each glass of sherry. Then
| the recriminations began. Uncle Poff-
kins declared his earrings were not the
stolen pair. Distressed ut my aunt's
sorrow, he had gone to the jewelers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
THE COMING HOME.

: Hearing mother say: "The children will
soon De home from vacation, and I dread ii, "
made me wish to say to every parent: Don't"
Inc long vacation all Is DER,
They're coming home from mount and shore:
fhey drop the gun, the rod. the oar,
To grasp again the book and pen;
Dear little maids and little men
o bid them welcome home.
FOR haply on their cheeks 50 fair
they bring glow from mountain air.
And In their eyes what sheen is there,
While the frail arm on .'Grandpa's farm"
Has gained a new and rounded charm
Proudly displayed at home.
And o the treasures that they bring,
And o the pleasures that they sing
The mem rieS fond of everything,
Which through the year their hearts will cheer,
Beguiling many an hour else drear,
TIL next vacation come.
o fathers fond, and mothers dear,
Let not the twiceto tales you hear
Fall on yexed, unwilling ear
so not the leas: in memry's feast,
When childish joys for them have ceased,
May be the coming home.
-Annah L. Lear, in Christian at Work
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20

of the people. At the grave they sang:
For He's Jolly Good Fellow and
sped him on his way. yivian's re-
mains were disinterred few years ago
and taken east for burial by the lodge
he founded But to this day he is loved
by the old-timers- !.
Old-timers. alas, they are few now.
Not many are SO circumstanced as in
those silver days. One man who sub
scribed three hundred dollars to a one
thousand-dollar purse for 'the parson"
died tramp. One. a bank president
then, was last heard of selling some
sort of a patent gimcraclx for his daily
bread They are scattered now, and it
is not likely that such another gather.
ing will ever collect again.-Cincinnat
Commercial Gazette
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
QUEER OLD CUSTOMS.



sIuss.rd-wakers and Dog-whippers In
Church.
There was once time, q long time
too, extending over several centuries,
when there was salaried official in
church to waken sleeping members of
the congregation and to expel dogs
from the sacred edifice.
These individuals are alluded to in
the records as sluggards-walxers and
dog-whippers, and the fees paid them
were very liberal, their annual salary
being mere pittance.
The custom, which was frequent in
England, was also practiced in Amer
lea more than two centuries ago. The
Rev. DR.. Samuel Whiting. a minister of
Lynn, Mass, was provided with slug
gard-waker, one Allen Bridges, who
brushed the faces of those inclined to
sleep with a fox's tail fastened to .
long staff, ''likewise sharpe thorne
wherewith he may prick such as
be most sounde." A certain
Mr.. Tompkins, being thus admon-
ished, sprung up with a great deal Of
force and to the wonder of all did, so
says the record of the day, ''prophain-
lie" exclaim in a loud voice: ''Buss the
woodchuck." he dreaming, as it seemed,
that a woodchuck had seized and bit
his hand. "And l think" continued
the chronicler. 'he will not soone againe
go to sleep in meeting. The women
may sometimes sleep and none know it
by reason of their enormous bonnets.''
Women as well as men served in this
capacity. Betty Finch, of Warrington.
occupied this position at Holy Trinity
church in 1910, a comparatively recent
period. She walked majestically up
and down the aisle during the service
armed with long stick like fishing
rod, with ''bob'' on the end of it.
With this she angled for sleepers. The
term ''bobbers' was used for this
service. and Bettys son, one of fam.
lily of officials. used to recite for the
amusement of the tavern goers:
NY fathers a clerk
Ny sisters singer,
My mothers a ''bobber,"
And am ringer.
The dog-whipper was to be found in
every county in England, and is still
at his work in churches of some remote
places. Indeed, there is church in
" diCS "hcIC lazy COHS ucS Will
spikes in the ends are still used to drag
the unconsecrated animals out of the
sacred edifice.
The dog-whipper at Bray in Berkshire.
was provided with t'jerkin" to indi-
cate his official position, At cost of six
shillings and four pence. The item
paid to Richard Turner for whipping
the ''dogges" out of church at Nor
ton, in Derbyshire, in 1922, was one shil-
ling.
It is believed that the well-known
sexton of Peterborough, Old Scarlet
was one of the first dog-whippers in the
country. His portrait on the wall OF
the cathedral depicts him with whip
in his belt. He died in 1901.
In some of the churches the dog
whipper was only allowed to drive out
truant dogs, the dogs of the gentry
being furnished with a pew where they
were admonished to keep order.
In Northorpe church, which was q
dependency of Northorpe hall, there
was Hall-pew for the Northrope
CANNES who were of bluer blood than
the collies of the shepherd, and were
more highly accommodated as well as
being safe from the taws of the dog
whipper.-Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20

Sir Edward Strachey contributes some
interesting personal recollections Of
Thomas Love Peacock to the latest vol
ume of that novelist's works, just issued
by Messrs. Dent. When the examiners
Office at the India house in Leadenhall
street was recognized in 1919, Edward
Strachey tSir Edwards father), James
Mill and Peacock were introduced with.
the title of assistants" Sir Edwards
remembers Peacock coming to dine and!
sleep at his fathers house at Shooters,
hill as kindly, genial. laughter-lovinRl
man, rather fond Of good eating and
drinking, or at least. talking rs il he
were So" Peacock's humorous dislike.
Of paper money and political economists
appears in HIS earlier novels, but Sir
Edward Strachey thinlfs 10 was much
intensified by his intercourse with Mill.
..He one day came 70 my fathers room
and said, with mock Indignation: II
viii never dine with Mill again. for ha
asks me to meet only political econos
n;stA. Pail Mall Budget
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-10-20
THE LONE HIGHWAYMAN.
A Party of Eight Men Held Up by . Soil
ftary Bandit.

Party of Eight Men Held Up by Soil
itary Bandit.
9''I was one of party of eight once
held up by lone highwayman," said
a certain bridge contractor the Other
day. Il was travelling by stage in Mon
tana- The party consisted of two army
officers, speculator, four miners and
myself. The stage had been held W
pretty frequently, so we all went fixed
for trouble. Every man had brace Of
six-shooters, and we were just aching
to have the road-agents tackle us; Al
least we talked that way. We com
mented very unfavorably upon men whit
yielded to the demands of the free
hooters without a struggle, and prom
Used them a warm time if they tackled
us. One man had little to say. He was
the speculator. a red-headed man with
squint. Finally one of the army OFF,
GERS asked him what he would do If ths
robbers attacked us, and he replied
that he did not know. AS we swung
around a sharp bend in the road the
stage pulled up with jerk, the driver
threw up his hands. and almost before
we knew it we were looking into ths
barrel of Winchester. Well, sir, that
lone robber marched US out and stood
us up in line with our hands above our
heads. Then he threw each man 8
small sack and made him pull it over
his head. We all complied but one
The red-headed speculator pulled his
gun and shot the bandit so full of hole,
that he died before he could touch the
ground. Then he climbed up. knocked
the driver off the box and drove the
stage into the next station with the
most crestfallen lot of braggarts aboard
that ever wore gun and neglected to
use it."-St Louis Globe-Democrat.