davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

bullets began to interfere with the
comfort of the audience; and when the
clown himself was bowled oyer and had
to be carried out on banner good
many people became so interested IN
the proceedings outside that they paid
littles attention to the< performance.
Then all at once there was a commo-
ton near the dressing tent entrance
and a pack of thirty mounted cowboys
palloped into the ring. The old hay
seed was at the head of them, and
every man had his fireworks out and
ready for business AS you fellows
know, I've Travelled for a firearms
house. for twenty. years and have
handled weapons by the thousand, but
when it comes to front view of shoot
ing machines in the paws of a crowd
of earnest citizens I'm disposed to re-
tire from business.
81 was afraid the visitors meant mis-
chief, and was about todrop down be-
tween the seats and crawl out under the
edge of the tent, when they began crack
ing away at the trapeze ropes, and IN hive
minutes they were all downs SThis re-
assured me. They were evidently in a
playful mood, and wouldn't kill any
one in the audience without serious
provocati1n. Isr 7e e
after this preliminary sport they
forced every performer to come in and
entertain them with a special act. Ie
wind up they brought in the CRATER
He was bound hand and foot, and was
looking dismal, for somebody had shot
hole through his ear, and it hurt
They unbound him and made him rig
up in the togs of the dead clown, ,;afte1
which they requested him to shin VI
the center pole. He rather objected tt
this, but the rustic and one or TIVE
| more fellowss full of fun, began t.
| shoot into the sawdust around hi
feet, and he started to climb. He spen
| good deal OF his strength in swear
ling, and stopped to rest once or twice
but being urged on by the popping Q
revolvers he managed to reach the to-
| OF the pole. He wore one OF those higI
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

One dav as the duke of Wellington
sat writing at his library table quite
alone his door was suddenly opened
without knock or announcement of
any sort and in stallsed a gaunt man,
who stood before the, commander in
chief with his hat on and savage ex-
preston of countenance! The duke
was of course little annoyed at such
an unceremonious interruption, and,
looking up, he asked: "Who are you?"'
81 am Dionysius, was the singular
answer "Well, what do you want?"
.sYotlr life..'' my life?" Eyes; am
sent to kill you. . Very odd,)' said the
duke, sitting, back and calmly gazing
at the intruder mot at all, for am
Dionysius,' said the stranger; ''and l
must put you to death. Are you
Obliged to perform this duty to-day?"
asked the commander'in chief; 81 am
very busy just now. and have large
number of letters to write. 1t would
be- very inconvenienba to-day" The
visitor looked hard during a moments
pause. Call again" continued the
duke, s.or write and make az appoint
ment." you'll be,readyP' Without
fail" was the reply. The maniac,
awed, doubtless, by the Stern old sol
dier, backed out of the room without
| further words, and half an hour later
was safe in Bedlam.-San Francisco
Arponaut y .-f4.-
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
PROSPEROUS COUPLE.

nal, wife, rs fifty years ago sence you an
me ww tied,
ser elum the hills er life together side
by side.
How we heV proSpereu' L"iA VIZ "'Aof ''i III"
me WIZ spliced we owned one COW, an
now, gosh, we own three
,.,rod f5ve hundred on this farm, five hundred
dollars then,
mt bey prospered far beyond the genl run er
men.
Indy Providence hez shaped the rough
eourse Of events
,,,row owe four twents-f1veyan' thirty-seven
~ odd cents.
Twas only fifty years ago you only had one
dress,
VI arceryate your beauty and increase your
loyeliness;
ps,v rop,ve rot two scrurnptious dresses, an a
most tremendous bonnet,
with 4 rnoastous Horticultural fair a-hourishin'
uponit. g.-s 1a tSEsts..--
r1ree chairs wuz in our sittin room but fifty
years ago. f~- -
Nv, we hey prospcred wonderfly, an now
there's FIVE you know.
we've gained lamp, a puddin' dish, an extra
yoke er steers,
Acrin'stone, en- dingle CART an all in fifty
years.
rs all true wat our pastor said, the wori
moves fast to-day,
An with quick, electric whiz goes spinnin' OF
its way;
tjest goes spnnin' on its way until its work Il
done,
But there's few spinners, my dear wife, who'g,
spun ex we have spun
IS. W, Foss, in Yankee Blade,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
NUMBER 13.
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


---t"There goes a man to be trusted,
said Jagson, as Dudeson entered the
tailor shop -Elmira Gazette.
Undoubtedly. - He = There is q
good deal of wisdom locked up in the
head, if do say it." She-''And you've
probably lost the key. Yankee Blade
-Inklits- "Why do you think the
short story is popular?" De Kicque
(who doesn't like fiction)-"Because 1t
isn't long Washington Star.
-Jibly-'I know why they call thia
leap year" Sibley-"Why?" Jibly--
Because it makes all the old maids
Jump for joy."-Jumper
-Maude e-"Congratulate me, Clara,
I'm engaged" Clara-"Well," you've
been mighty quick about it. Here it is
only the second week of leap-year.
NY. Press
t-Thespis Perhaps she's afraid of
stage fright. Is she used to speaking
in public?" Foyer-"Well, she attends
| theater parties twice week IN. Y.
| Sun. -.a
Leap Year rl-'Liveryman,i is this
horse gentle?" Liveryman = '1es,
ma am, exactly what you want; he is
used to being driven with one hand. =
Binghamton Republican.
Miss Fussanfeather-'My engage
ment to Mr.. Bacon is off, and all ask
is that he forgets me-" Mr.. Crimson
bcak-'That is easily accomplished.
Allow him to borrow dollar from
"-Yonkers Statesman.
"A Superfuous Faculty Professor
s'Mr. B. can you tell me with what faculty
we could most easily dispenser Stu
dent-'Yes, sir" Professor-'Good.
Now speak up loud. What is it?"
Student (soberly)-''The college facul.
ty.''-Texas Siftings.
-Jackson-''It seem to be the ambi-
ton of all American officials to reach
the presidency" Jenkins-'1t never
struck me that way. 1t always seems
to me that they are ambitious to reach
Canada. ."-Sloper.
Good Investment.-Boggs THAT
watch has been mighty good invest
ment" Foggs-"How sop Boggs-"l
never let any one have it yet who didn't
get twelve percent a month out of it
N. Y. Herald.
Matrimonial Amenities-Mr. Crot-
chet latter tiff begins to sing
There IL be no moro sorrow there. >
Mrs. Crotchet-"There won't be foS
/ them that don't get there, II that's any
/ comfort to you."-Boston Transcript
} "A Strong Reminder. Miss Scadd'
r DO you know, Mr.. Goslin, you re
| mind me of Sir Edwin Arnold?' GosliS
7 (highly gratifed) Jaw, thanks, awful
, w." Miss Scadds-''He is said to be al
= absent-minded man, and your mind i
t always absent, you know. Truth.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
MarHaYa Been once.

There is a bright little girlin Boston
who has a mind of her own. She is SO in,
dependent, in fact.Tthatshe didn't seem
to relish being reminded by visitors day
in and day out how. much she .sloeiSed
like her mother. " 1g.1 - K ~ 7o1sn,
T ''NIamma, ashes said, very deoidedlysone
night after stating her grieyance, just
before going to bed, Il don't like it,
/. Don't like it, my child. Why net9Y
Because you are not. pretty!'' This hiiss
rather blunt assertion Of the wee critic
dumfounded the mother-who by the
way, is regarded. as fine7-1ooking
woman. The little one noted the
change in her mothers face and at
once regretting NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. es-
sayed to modify her criticismthy deelar-
ing: s e2g - t5sastas tJg - 2at
well, mamma, YOU are not pretty
now-but you may have been once@s--
Boston Journal.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

clowns hats; and the cowboys ordered
him to hold it out in his hand. They
then amused themselves for a few
moments shooting at it. The elephant
was next ordered in, and every man of
them had ride on the east. By this
time the visitors we're weary of sport
and Withdrew, and the audience rushed
out after them pell NELL.
'Outside another party of the cour1-
tryman's pals was keeping guard, over
the drivers and other circus hands, who
sat in a circle on the grass. On being
joined by their companions. they all
rode away down the ella road. the
hayseed in the middle of them. Now
and then man would turn in his
saddle and send g bullet over our
heads, until a bend in the road took
them ont of sight ys, ' - .-s.9t-
in the hotel at Maricopa that night
| heard that the countryman had a
ranch up in the hills4a sort of head.
quarters for the boys when they
wanted a dance or run at faro.
When the old man was f1eeced fhis
five dollars he just gathered the band
| together, for they had come to town to
see the circus, and they took posses
sion of the. show Tn ey numbered
two to one of the CIRCUS people and
had things pretty much their own
way. While one party w as inside the
men outside broke open the wagon and
took every cent of the receipts.
"Of course the circus people had no
redress. Every body that knew any
thing knew that the ticket seller had
been playing the flin-fam game and
that he'd been done up for once, and
he didn't get sympathy enough, tc
spoil him. He sat out in front of the
hotel that evening while the doctor
patched up his ragged ear, and among
his other oaths he swore he'd be even
with Maricopa yet. Next morning as
| went to- the train I saw the circus
winding away up the road to Phoenix.
Buffalo Courier.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

as he has granger comes up for
ticket, hands over q five dollar bill.
the CRATER slaps down the ticket,
thumbs over the ends of four bills in
plain sight of the farmer, whips them
out from under his finger, rolls them.
and hands them down. Nine times out
O ten the hayseed grabs the money,
stuffs it in his pocket, and elbows out
OF the crowd before trying to count the
change. Then he finds out" that he has
only two one dollar bills, when he
thought he saw the ticket-seller count
him out four. Well, he goes back with
fire in his eye but it doesn't do him any
good. Anyhow, it didn't seem to the
day was up to Maricopa l was just
getting near the ticket wagon myself,
when one o these rustics thatd had
the bim-fam game played on him
came rushing up and squeezed through
the gang. You tarnal thief he says
to the CRATER, 'gi'me my money, viii
you?' ....t
''The ticket man just looked at him
out O the corner of his eye, and went
on selling, until the sucker began to
yell 'robbersn and things, when he
shouted: Get out O here! You can't
play that game with this succus.'
- but | gave you tenner, and here
is only four dollars back. Cuss me
if I'll pay more'n dollar for any sue
GUS
You're crazy, old man; move along
now out O the crowd, or you'll get
hurt.
"That seemed to annoy the farmer,
for quickern scat he put three bullets
through the wagon window to ease his
mind, and the CRATER began to pepper
back, rather regardless of the promis-
cunus crowd. l skipped off to the gold
chariot at one side, got behind a big
wooden angel on one corner of it, and
staid there where | could look out
with little danger of getting a pellet
But they stopped shooting pretty soon
You see the CRATER had two men in the
wagon WHO grabbed their guns the
minute the fuss began and blazed away
at the old man, while the CRATER set
tied down to selling tickets again. The
rustic saw the odds were against hin
and he lit out, swearing vengeance
He had only a scratch on the shoulder
but stout, copper-colo old lady
from over the border inadvertently go
between him and one of the slugs from
the ticket wagon, and didn't live t.
see the show. Her husband was dis
posed to find fault, but the giraffe
arologized and passed him in free, 81
he made up his mind to let bygones b
bygones -.=
II think it was just after the bi!
bareback act that every body in tn
tent suddenly heard guns popping out
side. But the clown was just comm!
into the ring, and we didn't pay mucl
attention to the matter until casua
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
DYsPEPTlc CRITICISM.
The III-Natured Comment of a Nissan
thropic Bachelor.

The IH-Natured Comment of Nissan
thropic Bachelor.
Somebody who must be mentally as
well as physically dyspeptic has written
a took of which the following is the
keynote:
,ssWhat right has the average young woman to
go to a home of her own with few practical ideas
on the subject of cookery, and dyspepsia waiting
in the shadow of her table? And stin worse TO
inveigle into it an innocent young man who sup
poses the domestic accomplishments come 10 all
women by natureg"
1t is clearly debatable question
whether or not the average young wo.
man is really such an ignoramus as one
might, from the perusal of this book, be
led to suppose. For some years cooking
and cooking schools have been so fash
ionable that the majority of girls have
had more or less occasion to dabble in
the mysteries of stew-pan and gridiron,
and the girls reared in intelligent fani
lies have taken pride in their
knowledge of the culinary art.
That there are cases of deplorable
ignorance, not only of this but all other
branches of useful knowledge, and
Young women who not only do not, but
will not, learn any of the details of do
mestic management, is unfortunately
too true; but that the state of things is
as deplorable as has been described in
the new work there is excellent reason
to doubt.
The writer's inspiration comes un'
auestionably from the past generation,
and is sadly out of accord with the
actual living, breathing, stirring young
woman of to-day. Even though she
NAV lack information and practical ex-
perience on many points OF household
economy, she has quite enough OF re-
source and mother-wit to enable her 20
set herself right long before good,
solid, chronic dyspepsia makes havoc
with the strength of her husbands arm
the power of his mind and the amiabil'
ity of his disposition. Surely, the
most hopelessly chronic dyspepsia is no
half bad enough for any son of maj
who is so silly as to imagine that th'
proper preparation of food, which j
one of the incest of household arts, cal
by any possibility be entirely mastere'
by a girl in her teens
Men and women have grown gray an
discouraged and have died in despai
while struggling with the problems
food and feeding IN. Y. Ledger.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
WHAT is A cRANK2
DffTerences of Opinion Regarding the
+ Meaning of the Term.

Differences
+ Meaning of tho Term. E-
! There seems to be considerable differ
.nce OF opinion as to the meaning OF
the term scrauk" 1t has been applied
in so many ways, and to so many per-
sons, that it is in danger of losing all
significance save as general term OF
reproach. The newspapers, the other
dav. called the bomb-thrower, who lost
his own life while attempting to carry
ont his murderous intent, crank. )"
A man, who has spent years OF his life
and half of his fortune in trying to re-
form drunkards. repress the liquor
traffic and educate children and young
persons in the ways of temperance and
morality. is called 'crauk" lady
who had tai, an a fat in what was sup
posed to be a respectable apartment
house, and who found, some months
later. that she had made serious mis-
take in so supposing, complained TO the
| landlord, She demanded the suppress
SION of the nuisance, or that her lease
he cancelled. He refused to do either
until she threatened to go to law abou
| IL. when, after a series of abusive let
i
| ters, in which he repeatedly called hel
| a ',crank," he made up his mind tha
discretion and compliance. would b'
cheaper than contest in court, ane
| cancelled tho lease.
+ The, man who assassinated presi
| dent of the United States was called
,'crank," and the same title was be
slowed upon man whogw wore his hal
falling IN long waves over his shoulders
and who professed to cure diseases D
the Iaying-on of hands
| One of our modern philosophers say
that crank is the advance agent OF
reform. An eminent physician says
i crank is harmless lunatic-a. ma
whose thoughts and mind are sllghtl
out of gear, and work out of harmon.
From all of which it appears that
crank is murderer, a Christian philal
thropist, a woman who objects to II
decency aud drunken debaucheries, a
assassin, an eccentric faith-curist ar
an insane person.
who can define . crank7-N. Z. LIE
ger.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
Human Relics of Pompeii.

In the museum at Pompeii are pre-
served the most horrid and pathetic
relics. of the last days of the ill-fated
city. Early in 1868 the workmen who
were helping to unearth an immense
palace struck. into q cavity in the lava.
the nature of which, of course, was a
mystery. Without breaking further
into it they poured plaster, of paris
down the crevices that were already
opened, and as soon as the plaster had
hardened the crust of lava was care
fully removed, and 10. the form OF. q
human being in his last struggles was
revealed The outline aud fern OF the
person were perfectly preserved, show;
ing plainly that he had been buried in
boiling lava, which had hardened about
him. The intervening eighteen hum
dred wears and the heat of the lava be-
sides had reduced the body to a haDd-
full of dust, but the lava had left "a cast
natural as life. Since that time sew
eral bodies have been reproduced, one
of them with the, features so perfectly
preserved as to show the expression OF
the face. In some of the plaster casts
part of the skeletons are. embedded.
Two female casts which are clasped in
each others arms have been called
THE Mother and Daughter Persons
who have seen this group say that
there is nothing in all Pompeii more
touching than the utter despair de-
picted upon the face of the mother >
-Chica 90 Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
A Pleasant DininS-Koom.

The diffng-room should be large
enough to enable person to pass
around the table comfortably when the
family or guests are all seated. 1t
should alsd be light and sunny, and
easily heated and ventilated. The most
essential pieces Of furniture are a table
of,generous width, capable of being en-
Iarged, comfortable chairs and side
board. After that, if the room be large
. enough and .theSpurse will admit of the
purchase of cabinet or two, with glass
fronts and sides, SO much the better.
Inithese there can be Kept dainty bits
of china and glassware. These cab
inets will brighten a dining-room more
than anything else you can put into it,
possibly excepting pictures If,there be
no room for Il cabinet corner cup
board and some hanging shelves will be
a great addition. Y Pictures that suggest
pleasant things are of course, always
desirable. A'few thrifty ferns, flower
ingsplants or euergreens add a great
deal to the brightness and beauty OF
any room, but particularly. in the din
| ,ing-room Have them thereif you posi-
! bly, can. "A heavy, covering OF white
| felt or double Canton flannel is also
necessary for the tabIe.-Ladies' Home
Il Io,,rna! -..-, Trtr E..f a.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
blackberry Vinegar.

To make blackberry vinegar choose
the finest and ripest berries gathered
on bright day. Put one pound into
basin and bruise them well, then pour
on them one quart of the best vinegar.
Let them stand couple of days, then
strain the liquor over one pound OF
fresh whole fruit. Let this stand three
days. pass through jelly bag and boil
five minutes, allowing one and one-half
pounds of loaf sugar to each pint OF
Juice. When cold put in clean. dry
bottles. .--Wstohruan,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
RULED BY COWBOYS.
Fough Experience of a Circus
Down On tho Border.
DUR old exper.

OUR old expert
fenced CONNER
cial men met at
the Iroquois one
evening not long
ago. There was
nothing particu,
larly inviting at
the theaters, and
they wandered
into the cafe.
lhere, over q
dish of porter
house with truf-
fes and q couple
of bottles Of
port, they sal
telling stori e s
!, until the parties
; from the plays
came in fol
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26
DecidedIy Promising.
journal

Handsome Young Tutor Now, Miss
Ethel, we take up the verb 'amo :
Are you quite prepared to conjugate?
Young Pupit--La, Mr.. Primus, now
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

luncheon and social chat.
'Have seen you. fellows since I was
in Maricopa last October?" asked Nc
Cormick as he lighted a cigar. McCor-
mick sells firearms in Arizona, New
Mexico, and Colorado.
"Guess not" -r-. 5- .
"Well, had some samples thatd
make your hair curl. Did l sell 'em!
Well! In Yuma l sold the biggest bill
the firearms trade ever knew there. A
crowd Of Greasers were in town, and
before they crossed the border again
they'd mortgaged their ranches for
those revolvers. Well, | came along
up to Gila City, and heard there was a
circus at Maricopa, and thought I'd
take it in, for / wanted to sell q bit at
Stanwix, and might do something in
Maricopa, too l don't know as you
vest You wouldn't know it. Every man
In the shows walking arsenal-has to
be in that country And the man in
The ticket wagon has guns on all sides
Of him. It's merely matter of prepon-
aerance of shooting weapons which
survive after circus time-the show or
the populace. The show had been in
Marieopa ten days, and there hadn't
been any trouble to speak of One
man from the hills had been killed at
the ticket wagon in q dispute over the
right change, but he'd been warned il
he asked for that fiver again he'd get
plugged. He did ask, with his gum
out ne missed somehow, and he was
plugged. Then they carried the corpse
around the ring on the back of the ele
plant in the grand procession as sol
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

tnE CRATER BEGAN TO PEPPER RACK.
Aayseeds. II y
!, ihe fact was, they had a CRATER in
aeir wagon. Maybe you never saw a
Gfaiter work?"
Never did" said James.
"eil, you see, there's always mob
sound the ticket wagon, all holding
! their hands, hourishing bills and
esu pieces aud bowling for tickets
sasS' essers' lnjuns, cowboys, miners,
aeners, gamblers, every kind you
~u tnlnk of The ticket-seller-the
s-hass few one dollar bills
\. psano round his middle finger so that
:. ~ enas come together, and 1t looks
: saongh he has twice as many bills
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

! bank,
ends on
r dex-
lis pen
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

|inerE
me.
trough
tive
1t that
Igs ai-
longest
tates is
Iansas.
est In
! bank
| ends on
| |rdex- r
| is pen
a class
| he sue.
| he who
even to
|Bctedtc
on crop
of 1890,
he most
surplus
t,OoooOo
roads
| itries dc
/ are .
lie have
|a |ation.
farthesI
/ to sell
ketsani
Ig some
farm
Bture OF
don'tes
Ehe fats
| |erienee
farmin
grass Q.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

a class.
he sue.
be who
even to
kctedto
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

Fkets and
|g some
|P lip farm
Eture on
don'tex-
he fatal
|, ,erieneed
farming
grass on
TRY don't
far,lt is
kets, but
bill meas
about 50.
+, by pus
| relieved
Ind milk
of fresh
a chang
ppedfns
80 good.
It only .
judiciOa,s iO,'s
|rm. Ths
is usas.s ss,sss.
I cals,; sa,;es
praSSess Aces
Oh as .sa.s a"s
Ape''
,-n
garden ne, :
! ygaa the FARM m
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1892-05-26

tive =