The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1892-11-02
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
iNOS HERE AND THERE.
sehss ana sohs' sts that Are Supposed 10
Have Bssn Rscsntiy Horn Sayings snd
Doiuss that Are Odl Curious and
Iaurhabss.
sprlui,i~s ~ epir,.

sprinLirs of spirs.
A CAMPAIGN lie may he nailed, but
ra,icuses are boltcl. -Somervllle Jour
nal.
WINDS may come and winds may
ever
AN exploded theory didn't
know IL was loaded. Union County
Standard.
In the nature OF things two lovers
must fall In love before they can fall
Out - Dallas News
The sculptor isn't the kind Of man
that cuts no figure In the world. ---
Binghamton Leader.
A MANS idea OF practiclng economy
Is to preach IL three times day to
his wife. -Atchison Globe.
"ANoruER cherished link gone"
said the young man who lost his cuf
buttot. Washington Star.
Soft gloves are worn by pugilists
80 prevent hard feeling In n friendly
fight. New Orleans Picayune.
,IAosoN says there are lots OF men
who start for heaven too late 10 get
past quarantine. --Elmira Gazette.
The man who IL stuck on himself
Is one who backed his Judgment and
bet on the wrong man. --Picayunc.
The mau who has Something
which can beat Nancy Hanks wants
10 trot 1t out.--Yonkers Statesman.
Ir Is a queer thing that after girl
has consented to fly with man she
usually has to walk.-Chlistian
Union.
WHEN u wife hears n dull thud on
the doorstep she knows that the
lodge has adjourned. - Binghamton
Republican.
A PoLirE tramp: .udge--"What
Is your name?" 1rnmp-"Allow me
TO exchange cards with your Honor"
Texas Siftings.
FALuER-No appetite this evening,
ELI? What Is the matter? Late
lunch? Little boy-.No, sir. Early
apples. Good News.
THERE isn't much lifting power to
your religion IL IL doesn't make you
10 your best to pay 100 cents on the
dollar. r.--Ram's Horn.
THEY have potato soclals' In Kan
sas. The name may be from the fact
that the young people so there 10
pare.-Texas Slftlngs.
"OH, dry up" az autumn said to the
leaf. "lm not as green as ] was"
replied the leaf, go I'll take your adj
vice. Texas Siftings.
POINTING at the caudal appendage
Of the hand-organ monkey, Quibble
remarked "rhe tail OF wayside
din. "-Boston Transcript.
WHEN the devil sees church mem.
bers wrangling with one another he
knows 1t will be safe for him to sit
down and rest. Rams Horn.
"JACK told me last night that he
had given me his heait." 'Well, It's
damaged goods lie told me last
week that | had broken it,"-Life.
The corn-salve that IL not pure
preventive Of cholera is made by %
man who doesn't understand the art
Of advertising -BinghamtOn Repub-
lican.
THOSE who would read Natures
open book In meadow and woods have
nm extra facility at present. She Is
herself turning the leaves. .-Phila-
dclphia Ledger.
The first is called the index finger,
but when man takes three or SO it's
an index OF his opinion that the sea-
son has grown too cold for beer.
Philadelphia Times.
CORBETT has sold the right to n
whisky firm to name new brand
after him. No doubt 1t will be "a
good liquor to make strong punches
with. Philadelphia Record.
Mr.. TOoTHANDNAIL-"I can't imag-
Inc what we ever got married for;
we're totally different at every single
point" Mrs. Toothandnail-"Oh,
you natterer. boston Courier.
SoN-"Pa!" Father-"Well?" as
vessel boat?" "Yes." "Pa"
"What is it?" "What kind OF a boat
is a bood-vcssel?' "It's a life boat,
Now run away to bed. lid Bits.
slow DID they like you in Scrag-
gleville?" asked one actor of another.
"Very much, indeed, 1t appeared. 1t
was all could do to induce the land.
lord to let me leave, Washington
Star.
THERE is great difference be.
tween military engagements and love
engagements. In one there's good
of falling In, and In the other there's
good deal OF falling out. Yonkers
Statesman.
The common impression is that
there is very little poetry In matri
mony. When people take out theil
marriage licenses they are supposed
to surrender their poetic license. -
Washington Star.
II SEE that OGrogan has got him q