The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-05-13

what is more gratifying still, it has OBJ
served his clean and manly course in
this campaign.
He is for Holt for governor. And in
! speaking for his choice of a man to that
important position has been calm and
considerate. He has neither maligned,
abused nor questioned other candidates.
This is manly and honorable.
Hereafter when we write a joke on
COLONEL JERNIGAN We will let him
write it.
MIR. VANS TALKS.
Our old and cherished friend, Major
Ananias McFraud, has just returned from
a pleasant and protracted visit to relatives
and friends in ParsonstOwn, Ireland.
The major tells us, in his charming remi
| niscent way, that one night while there
he strolled over to Lord ROSES observa-
tory, and that there and then had the one
wish of his life gratifed by viewing the
elementary spheres through the said lords
big telescope. If it were not forthe fact
that We have an abiding faith in human
nature generally, and in the major in par.
~ticular, we would be somewhat skeptical
in regard to what our friend claims to
have seen On that occasion but knowing,
as we do, his unimpeachable integrity, we
do not hesitate to give implicit confidence
to anything the major may or might say.
He says that while viewing the Rings of
Saturn" that marvellous enigma il stellar
space, he noticed a peculiar undulating or
wave-like motion of the rings in question
something that reminded him of the
ground swell" in the Gulf of Mexico.
Not knowing whether the visible activity
was the normal status of SaturD's next
door %neighbor, or whether it was due to
some extraordinary CONFUSION Of nature,
he concluded to closely s%crutiniZe the
nebulouS waltz with a view to u%nraveling
the mysterious problem, and with the re
suit shown in the sequel. With each mo-
ment the wave. like motion before men
toned became greater and more startling;
VIZ SANS' VI S"SA "oFN 90 uNNpAy 1luSC
with a brilliant, foam-like substance that
cleaned and scintillated in all the vari-
gated hues Of the rainbow, which added
new glOries to the armament of the Satur-
MAN system. In addition to the motion
under consideration, there was another
a rotary movement around the planet
the velocity of which was being monun-
tarilY accelerated by some invisible but
fearful influence. Vast sheets of a bright,
substance would occasionally
fly off at a tangent from the swiftly rO-
mass, spread out and fade away
into the black vault of surrounding space,
while the eccentricity of its orbit was
visibly growing less-sure wreck of its
stability! Immediately after assuming
the annular form, the cohesive or attrac-
tive force that held it's constituent parti.
Giles together lost its, or their grip, and
the ring suddenly snapped in two in the
middle, one half Overtaking the other in
their wild race round the planet collided
with its dislocated fellow, the two semi |
back to back, taking the form of
this u, and after a few Intellectual tugs to
separate themselves, they quit their for
mer orbit, and with uncomfortable velocity
dashed off into the mighty outer void
Just at this soul-stirring point in the
Saturnian programme, friend Ananias
said, a dense and impenetrable fog settled
owe "Ould Ireland" completely
shutting out from view the glorious stellar
panorama. The cause Of this sudden
breakup among Saturn's rings is owing
to, the major thinks, the monster attrac-
tive influence of the water in the Durham
reservoir and if this be true, we advise
the authorities to dynamite that structure
Immediately, and thus avert the impend-
ing calamity. The major says that the
fatality is coming this way,
and with a velocity undreampt Of in our
hours, and that it may be ex.
pected to arrive aboutthe fourth Of July,
at which time the grandest pyrotechnic
ever witnessed by the sons of
men, and free to all corners, will be given;
bat the inevitable result will be swift de-
;truction, and the Inauguration of the
second reign of primal chaos!
The wisdom of the ages points to the
,act that all wise men will do their ut
most to avoid a possible calamity and
with this end in view We are now dig
ring us a bomb proof in the lee side of a