Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1892-10-06
WASTED LABOR.
The Story of an Editorial That Was
Never Printed.
CHAPTER l.

CHAPTER |.
"Therew exclaimed Editor Shackelford
of the Perkins Junction Weekly Thunder
bolt, leaning back in his chair, ''if that
doesn't settle their hash and drive the in
famous hounds out of town there's no viz
tue in strong English"
Editor Shackelford had just written
vigorous article in regard to a travelling
auction that had occupied a vacant room
on the pridcipal street Of the town for
three or four days and driven a rushing
business, and he felt that he had roasted
them in his best and most scientific style.
His editorial was as follows:
"a peripatetic gang of bloodsuczers
from nowhere in particular and carrying
lot of snide and worthless goods OBJ
tanned no one knows how, has infested this
community during the week and worked
off lot of cheap jimcracks at more than
double their value on the unsuspecting
citizens of our town. These irresponsible
fakirs, these mercenary vagabonds, these
strolling auctioneers pay no taxes, con-
tribute nothing to the support of Perkins
Junction, have no interests in common
with our people and deserve to be held as
designing interlopers. Under thin guisc
of friendliness they carry on a warfare
against our best interests. They are public
enemies, deserving of universal execration
Shun them as you would pestilence, a
viper, or the raging flames of perdition it.
self Touch not single article these i'm
pudent, tramping invaders have for sale
No man or woman who spends cent at
their miserable one horse auction is
good citizen. If you have any self respect,
any public spirit, buy your goods of home
merchants and let these cheap, character
less, despicable outsiders alone. If you
have drop of patriotic blood in your
veins or any just sense of the duty you owe
to yourself, your family and the commu-
nifty in which you live, keep away from
these Peter Funks, and do not defile your
homes with any of the cheap, nasty, worth
less 'goods'-heaven save the mark!--they
are trying to unload on the good people of
Perkins Junction"
Il think that will finish Them" unused
Editor Shackleford as he read it over.
CHAPTER H.
Jacobs" said the editor as he put on
his coat at G o'clock p. m. and locked his
desk preparatory to starting for home sis
that article wrote this morning about the
auction gang in type?"
eyes, sir" replied the foreman.
"Make it the leading article on the edi- |
torial page. When will you be ready to |
go to press"
"Be ready in fifteen minutes Going to
work off the whole edition this evening |
Got big days job work to do tomorrow. !"
"All right, Jacobs"
CHAPTER III.
"Oh Lycurgusr" exclaimed Mrs. Shack
elford as the editor of the Perkins Junction
Weekly Thunderbolt entered his home
fifteen minutes later, II have something
to show you'll"
She took him into the spare room and
pointed to miscellaneous collection of
things spread out on the bed.
Il was coming from down town this
afternoon" she said joyously, land as I
passed the auction room I stepped in to
see what they were selling. Did you ever
see such lovely counterpart? l got it
for'-
Amanda" said the editor in an awful
voice, "r'-
"Wait a minute. You'd never guess
what paid for it, got it for S3.75 And
look at those tidiesl They only cost me
sixty-five cents Then see that lot of pa
per and pencils. ! got them for you, dear
Only dollar. Think of it'll Look at that
beautiful afghan for the baby carriage,
and these towels, and this lot of sewing
machine needles, and the box of soap, and
that half dozen plated spoons! l never
saw things going so cheap. I got this
whole lot for-what's the matter, Lycur-
gus9 Where are you going?"
II am going back, madam" said the
editor with world weary look in his eye
80 the office of The Thunderbolt."
"Jacobs"
Yes, Sir"
Have you got the forms locked up?"
Eyes, sir"
Unlock them and lift out that editorial
about the cheap auction"
Lift it out9 What the Sam Hill have
we got to put in its place."
PUT in dead patent medicine adj! Slap
in that three dollar shoe electrotypel FIJI
out the page with Lydia Pinkham! Run
in anythingP' yelled Editor Shackelford
Eyes, sir" said the imperturbable ia
,obs.
And thus it came to pass that the most
trenchant editorial ever written in the
office of The Thunderbolt was forever lost
10 the good people of Perkins Junction.
THE END.
Chicago Tribune.