The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1892-06-27
AN UNsCnUPuLoUs DECEPTION.
How Steamboat Capt Hob Art. outsteerea
His Better Half

AN UNsCRUPULoUs DECEPTION.
How Steamboat Capt Hob Arts outsteerea
His Better Half
The Lame Duck was the general and very
appropriate name OF the sauatty. round bowed
steamboat although the name was not ainted
on It's sides. She was dingy and dirty runled
In her weather boarding and decking. relying
on her acknowledged inHrmity as sufficient
apology for her appearance. At her stern was
dilapidated revolving wheel. which with
| splash and swash. represented noisily her solo
leg and propeller. she was irregular in her
| habits. known from New Orleans to Pittsburgh.
| and up every side stream along the Mississippi
| and Ohio that had water ranging from heavy
dew to q freshet She was verltablo water
| tramp.
Her owner and Captain. Bob Arts. was as err
| ratio as his craft Whether he was towing
scow. carrying q load OF hoop poles trans
| porting an excursion party. or playing "soven-
up" when the Lame Duck was tied at q land
| ing. mattered not to him. provided 1t paid. and
| no one had ever como out ahead OF him in
| Joke. bargain. or game. He was afraid OF
| nothing. There was but ono being in the
| world whom he would shy around. and that
| was Mrs. Bob ArtZ.
When Capt Bob was at homo In the littlo
| river port OF Red Horse and the Lamo Duck
| out OF commission at the wharf. he had moro
trouble navigating around his very pretty.
| consolidated. and investigatory wife than he
| had among shoals and snags when no was
afloat- As Capt Bob expressed IL: Il hev to
keep lookout fore an aft. take p'ints Nv tho
| compass. an do sounding. all at oncot or
she'll ground me-"
| One night. when the Lame Duck was ut Red
| Horse landing. Capt Bob escaped from homo.
under pretext OF doing some repairs to his
boat. to Join in game OF seven-up with the
boys In back room Of the Fig and Whistle
| He had his usual luck. Made enough to coal
| UP on" he said. and went homo at about 4
o'clock In the morning to account for his alb
| sence to his wife as best he could. Later in
| the day Capt. Bob took his accustomed seat
| In front OF the Pig and Whistle. The twinkle
| OF his eyes and shine OF his round cheeks in
dicated to the loungers that he had a story to
What is 4; CapI" sandy Burke asked asked
big that you're face lS9ks ez T. your collar liar
old woman's in it. How did you haul round
her when you got home this mornin' 7"
N to the to gather around him.
and whom the wheeling and coughing per-
about it. sAs cause its Worth i outsts cred n
old woman an went clean AN. around he. her this
got home 2, this morning: She was was
her he. 7 tell You boys it's bs lob to make land
AND to s
o'clock In the morning. unless you've got
e S hs e so to
o n on % Z e? tes s t. az lie Tt '9
O'Clock In the mornin': they may hold er they
may pull up BY the roots. er they may come
uS Sss hn Now I dons any Of ~ You tell it,
an IN tell you how managed it an come out
=" Coin long home stopped at the black.
smith shop an got some GREASE on fb my hands
| picked UP piece uvsoft Goa! an got my hands
good an 3 elesk hapd III t. smnted my face
footed to my front toor r ready to
agin ANYTHING in or about my house that had
I'D Soms s Hsd fer IL Qfhd Gs es
looked through the keyhoIe; SOS I'd be sure it
ryin q port light. She come to the door: an,
''' ' am says t. oeen the door my hands
Is al greasy an, don't want to tech The knob
my fingers snrea out like chickens toes.
ufeered to tech anything. =,
+" tss t hsy w ?n 1Gtn seq she' stayn
".Take OF my hat Ter mo an hang it. up SEE
on @9P hs B Tnnt tx the ii
That a lie. Bob. WV down thar. an there;
!:What timaF, says l. eoln' toward the
kitchen. keeTiess like. to wash my hands, an
| hern kinder made me feel eZ ef I'd grounded
| er struck bottom er, somethin.
- Eleven o'clock says she. lookin' like she
81 That S list the time we wuz all up at the
blacks shop gitten some bolts made
' LII come round that way home says she.
rsd IL the sss ssed steam wuz
Well i says. Mary. We must hev list
| gone t" waken somebody ur mt til" store; to
-, BoO,' seq she. an l seed it WIZ comm.
came tho aIliredess thumpin' at the door YOU
."'Wios there p hollered. lettin' on to be-
WAT Pa sd Sem ss m5 R de wTs s%s
when you lay him down leetle Dit ago, arter
you done FIX de engineer We can't find him
Its 'lon'sd the cylinder. where left it.
There, Mary says. 'somethin's gone
list BIT ago u' Maybs You'll Believe me- ne sf
not 60 lockin' n man out when he's been hard
at work: an starvin: an starin' at him that
/ rest An b'lieve Hook cd ez II I'D had my
| feclin's MORALLY snagGed.
You oughter seed the old woman: she
locked like she'd been pumped too full an
! let me wash your hans an face fer you. An
III rake the fire IN cook yon somrthin hot;
derned eli she didn't wash me up ez tender an
clean ~ Of wuz baby: but wuzent mean
II gave that niger. sam. so cents to follow
| me up to nv house an make an Internal
| racket askin about that monkey wrench.
| Thar's nothing like hnvin all clear afore you
| rhurk your line. The old woman thought she
| had me. but | outsteered her. Hits my treat
| Come ON boys"
HEY LIVE IN CONGO BOATS.
| A Native Tribe that Has Abandoned tho