Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-12-18

on the grounds Of cruelty and abEse
This faay be irrclevaat because il oc-
CURED ia the bosom Of family aad we
have To do Only with etiquette Of az
qasiutaaeeshiQ gifts BAT doesn't il.
as tae moralists say. shoE as whittier
Ne are drifting
Il dare not assert" said a society
woman who introduced her daughter
10 New York this fall, ..thst my
necessary list can be cut down Christ
nnas giving IS a. rigorous convention
a. that shall return my calls or dis
charge uy social debts Here are
those 20 whom | must give-my hus-
bard and children. the only unalloyesi
pleasure OF the day; my servants, who
would leave il | did rot give them
dresses of the finest quality; each and
every one OF my relatives. sisters. broth
ers. sistcrs-in-law, brothers-in-law and
my cousins Then come the dozens
OF town friends who last year gave me
Christmas presents. which | failed to
return at any of the intervening holt
days. These bear as plainly as if il
had been written on the card. Equal
valnes are expected Lastly I reckon
gifts 20 people whom have visited and
whose hospitality can't at once return,
and 10 church charities.
believe me. Christmas and the man
ner in which one meets it largely de-
ternines social prestige.
A well-bred giver, of course. cloalss
the almost busincss-li,xe method of his
giving by a dainty presentation. The
card II quite enough to inclose. though
personal note is pretty Gnessc
How can one escape thanlSless civinga
cannot Perhaps other women who
have less at stake may do it by simple
refusal to &c burdened so. But imagine
what would result upon nay announce
ment that no gifts would be received or
returned. My acquaintance would
desert me. thinking fortune had failed,
and should be mortally uneasy over
debts not liquidated.
What may a man give a girl 10
whom he is not engaged? No more or
less than at any other time of course.
Flowers, one hundred dollars worth Of
them il he chooses. and perhaps a
book, though many mothers draw the
line at flowers. IL seems to me that a
Girl is placed under as lasting obligations
TO man when she receives from him
500 in flowers Us though she accepted
ei00 in jewels, but it is not so. A man
who has dined at my house feels bound
to return the hospitality by a Christ
mas gift Oftencst it viii be silver for
my table, or handsome bric-a-b rac for
my drcwing-room.
1T is just family better form to in
clude my husbands name, though the
gift is ostensibly for me- III the man
was first an acquaintance of my hus-
band. and had met me but once or twice,
he would send the gift to my husbands
Office and my name would not be men,
toned The gift would probably be a
pair OF vases or basket for bonbons,
mine. you see.
A woman's gift to me may be cor
rectly returned at Easter-never at
New Years, because the effort would be
too palpable. The next Christmas will
do. but my advice is not to put it of If
you hadn't courage to proclaim against
your holiday slavery, perform all posi-
bic tasks at another time, and so wiring
what pleasure you may by not giving
Christmas presents"
There is a better way if we will listen
to the defiant advice of queen of comic
opera.
Let me tell you as eTnphetically =. I
may said she, that l speak from a
bohemian point of view. Therefore I
enjoy my Christmas. 1t is the only
way TO get the pleasure from it and
from life as well. ! do not submit !
To the forms To which other women J
openly submit and secretly defy.
What man may give woman de- |
bends entirely on their relations-nott to
na-aina AID papa. but their relations !