The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-03-11
a QUEEN,
That's What Bah Says is the
American Widow.
Why a Widow Makes a Good
Wife.
She Knows Men Better-Great Men
Who Married WidOWS-1he
New York Dog Show,

She Knows Men Better-Great Meu
Who Married WidOWs-1he
New York Dog Show.
Copyright 1892, by the Book Syndicate
Press New York.
(From our regular Correspondent.)
New York, February %, 1892.
in the funniest farce that has struck
New York there is one sentence
which would If the roof were NOV
able, take it off the house, for the au-
dience think it so desperately, dia-
boiically amusing that they laugh
until they can't laugh any longer.
This is the sentence. A young man
masquerading as a fOotman is talk
ing to the servants, and after they
tell him how good and kind the mis-
tress is, he says, "She must be Tara
avis" The servant looks at HIM
aghast, and eventually the lady's
maid says, with a knowing shake OF
her head, "Oh, no, che amt; she's
widow" This is what convulses the
house. And what l want to know is,
why should widows always be a sub
ject for merriment. If you will take
the same trouble that | did, and ask
the men about it, you will find that
the American widow, like the orchid,
is regarded as the finest product of
the nineteenth century. Now, why
shouldn't she be?
THE WIDOW As A WIFE.
Isn't 5here every reason in the
world why a widow can make a
young man happier than a yount
| girl can? You see, she has gone
through ii all. She knows the small
meanness, the naggiug tendencies,
the tiresOme curiosity and the tiny
fault finding peculiar to mank ind
She knows how to ignore all this,
and to blissfully accept all the great
big virtues that, thank the Lord, are
predominant in man. She knows
how to cater to his appetite, material
and mental; she knows how to make
MIN as she does, and she doesn't
adopt the tactics of a young girl for
this. GA, no, not by long manner
of means. When a young girl doesn't
agree with young man she contra
diets him. That's first blood for him.
A widow does nothing of the kind I;
she agrees with him, and then she
talks with him; tells him just how
clever he is, daintily brings forward
her own view, suggests to him that
he has been thinking that way all
the time; that he was only trying to
see if she could guess it, and hey,
presto! before he knows anything he
has veered around to her opinion and
hasn't the remotest idea that he has
changed his mind.
SHE IS LOVING AND AMBITIOUS.
Then a widow has learned the de
! light of quie-, and although she likes
TO 20 out ana enjoy herself, an even
! ing alone with the man she has mar
ried is a special pleasure to her. She
is ambitious for him and interested
| in all his pursuits. l know a widow
who said she would pay 100000 ia
! have her husband made Governor OF
! the State in which they lived; she
! is presiding over the GubeTnatOrial
Mansion now. She has limited that
she will give a million to have him
made President of the United States,
and, as he is a young man, and Il
clever man, and million is a good
bit of money, and money talks eXten-
sively nowadays, | shouldn't be sur
prised to see her doing the gracious
in the White House yet.
GREAT MEN WHO MARRIED WIDOWS
OF course, it can't be claimed tina
| Adam married a widow, but why
cast this stone at Adam? The worlC
hadn't become sufficiently cultured
to have widows in those days-they
are the fruits of civilization. l ain il
earnest in tak:3g up the cause OF the
widow, az | would be in taking tina
If the mOther-im-law, for 1 thinl
Jokes on either Of them are in eXces
sively had taste. A woman cal
stand everything else but being mad
ridiculous, and to that she object
most decidedly. A sufficient numbe
Of men, muscular men, who can trea
rIdicule a. they do one of those bag
that hang in the air and know to dc
veiop their chests, should have oil o
the ridIcule given to them, and al
the sweet words and nice thought
should 90 to the gentle sex. Their
is no woman 50 bad that she can't b
trained to gentleuess, for women an,
dogs are very, very much alike. Tn
conditions OF their minds and thei
general behavior are entirely the re
suits Of the training given them
You know what you can do with
dog; you can make him adore you
aud you can teach him to be good n
the same time. Now, my friends
that is just the way you can do wit
a wOmaG.-EX.