davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25


nable, so that the ladies laughed until
they cried. And the musician fairly
surpassed himself in singing that touch
ing ballad of his own composition,
"When Mary to the Dentist Goes"
which is now of world wide celebrity;
and the professor %discoursed so admira-
bly, Of the foibles and idiosyncrasies of
the second Ramesis that he was voted
the most interesting speaker who ever
enlivened a Thanksgiving party; and
the editor Of The Gazette recited his
famous article with unusual fervor, so
that some of the ladies wept again.
The dinner lasted two hours, and
when it was over there was heard a
ring at the doorbell, and who should
have done the ringing but the foreman
Of The Gazette, whose doom had been
pronounced. He had come to call the
editor away on important business, and
it was quite affecting to see that able
man embrace his subordinate and say:
"Your wages are raised two dollars a
week. By one of your blunders you
caused MI. Wardwell's dinner to be a
misft, but there never was a nobler
dinner than I have had today"
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
Thanksgiving Gives JOY and comfort.

Thanksgiving Gives Joy and Comfort.
Some beautiful thoughts regarding
Thanksgiving are embodied in, the fol-
lowing paragraph published by Harper's
Bazaar some time ago: when the heart
is sorest, grief the bitterest, loss the
most extreme, the giving Of thanks brings
arelief to the spirit like that Of rain to
the thirsty earth. To give thanks to
heaven that we have had the lost to
love, that they are ours, since we love
them still and we cannot love what is
not; to give thanks that they ever ex-
listed, that we knew them and had to do
with them, that we had pride and joy in
them-to do this is to put ourselves into
such close connection and conversation
with the all giving power as to receive q
new JOY almost as precious as the old.
1t is like the breaking Of sacramental
bread still with the beloved; it il shar-
ing with heaven still their possession.
It islifting the whole being to the spir-
itual plane where the beloved are. 1t is
without meaning it, without knowing
it, saying THY will be done., tt is en-
stering into the close intimacy 81 that
power dark with excessive brightness
# makes hsayenlysjoys real, and al but
renews and zsyiviies the earthly.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
Thanksgiving in India.

The native servants of India are said
to be courteous in the extreme, and when
they learn of any particular festival
which their masters desire to observe
they always make it a point to offer
their congratulations, accompanied by
presents of flowers, fruits and sweets
tastefully arranged in fantastic baskets.
They know all about Christmas and
New Year, but it was the United States
consul at Calcutta who first enlightened
them regarding Thanksgiving. There
after the diplomat and his successors as
well have been appropriately honored
on the yankee holiday"
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
A RURAL THANKSGIVING,

"The past rises before mo Like q
Dream" as Bob Ingersoll said. We are.
back in the good old times before the
war, in the middle section Of the Wa
bash valley. The glorious, mellow, yell
low, late autumnal days have come. In
dian summer is past, it is true, but its
aroma still fingers o the brown mead
ows and in the gloriously varicolored
woods. At least one year in three we
have Slate springs and late falls as the
farmers say, and this is one Of the years.
The frost is on the pumpkin, but lightly
as yet, and the fodder is in the shock,
though the cattle still browse a little
and are fattening in the stalk fields, from
which the yellow corn has just been
gathered.
"This is the time of year when every
thing tastes good" the boys say. .This5
is the season when the game is at its
best" say the hunters. "And this is the,
season when our bones hurt us the least" =
the old folks say. The milk is cool and
rich. All the vegetables are at their
best, perfectly ripe, but not yet withered5
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

the Wardwell home echo with merri-
ment time and time again his absence
on this occasion was beyond all human
understanding.
Professor Smell, of the university, had
been invited as we'll and had remained
away, as had the others. The professor
made Mr.. Wardwell's house almost his
home. 1t was in the, little blue room
overlooking the garden that he made
those admirable tr%anslations of Horace
which have astonished the litterateurs
of two hemispheres. His erudition was a
beautiful element of a WardwelE din
ner; it furnished a solid background for
the frothy mirth of the doctor, and the
languishing songs of the musician, and
the brilliant sentences of the editor.
These gentlemen who have been EMU
merated had been expected with their
wives, and several other gentlemen with
their wives had been expected, and con-
sequently it was no wonder that The
ophilus and Rachel Wardwell were
plunged in bitterness when they were
obliged to eat alone.
cit is the most humiliating day of my
life," said Mr.. Wardwell. II can only
think of n thing for which l should
be thankful, and that is hat my bust
ness does not take me out of the house.
l would be ashamed to look a human
being in the face if l had to go on the
street. Crying won't do any good,
Rachel-'weep no more, my lady, weep
no more today Give the servants in
structions to dispose of these viands in
any way they choose, and then let us try
to forget this appalling occasion"
And Mr.. Wardwell went bravely to
his library and e~ndeavored to bury his
sorrow by studying quaint and curious
volumes Of forgotten lore.'
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

GILL WAIT JUS E MINUTES LONGER
"It's horribly, shamefully awful,'
moaned Mrs. Wardwell. "Ill never
smile again."
II wish you would eve groan again:
Things are bad enough without you1
lamentations. Let us fall to; let us be
as grateful as we may under the circum
stances. The time is up"
And SO that sorrowful pair sat down
in gloomy grandeur and ate as best they
could, but it was a mirthless banquet
and soon over
The absence of MI. Wardwell's friends
was the most inexplicable thing in the
world. He was renowned as the most
graceful of hosts; his dinners were
poems; his wife was charming; his home
was a marvel Of comfort and conven.
fence. When the governors proclamation
appeared in The Gazette, announcing
that the Goth of November would be OBJ
served as Thanksgiving day, Mr.. Ward
we'll, after due consultation with his
wife, wrote beautifully worded letters
to his friends asking them to take din
ner with him on the eventful day-tc
use his own modest words, Join me in
q Thanksgiving lunch in my home"
That able man, the editor of The Ca
zette, was invited. Who has not heard
of the editor of The Gazette? He it was
who wrote tho stirring article entitled
"Whither Are We Drifting?" which Gre
ated CONSERVATION from ocean to ocean,
and placed the writer upon the pinnacle
Of fame at the early age of forty. It
was customary with MI. Johns, the ed
itor, to repeat the famous editorial from
memory at dinner parties, and in his re-
ply to MI. Wardwell's invitation he had
explicitly stated that he would deliver it,
word for word, al it was originally writ
ten, Immediately after the dinner.
MI. Silver, the musician, had also
been invited. You all know about the
illustrious MI. Silver, who composed SC
many delightful songs and sang them SO
irresistibly to enchanted audiences. His
picture was printed in the local papers,
and it is altogether unreasonable to sup
pose that you have not seen it. When
ever Mr.. Silver ate dinner at Mr.. Ward
wells he invariably rendered several Of
his most charming selections, and he
had written Theophilus that nothing
short Of an epidemic would keep him
away on Thanksgiving day.
Dr.. Shadley had also received an in
vitation, and had answered that he
would do himself the honor to be at the
appointed place promptly, adding face
tiously that his appetite would be con-
cealed about his person. The doctor
was the most interesting and amusing
story teller in the civilized world. Il
IA quite impossible to listen to one Of
his anecdotes without being convulsed
with laughter, and since he had made
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
THE UNsUspECTINa aoBBLER.

by weeks of, lying in the cellar. And
the small boy-how he does enjoy this
season! These + the days when he
''slips off at afternoon recess" gives the
school house the ''cold shake and 4hur-
ries to the south woods, there to gather
the big green walnuts in piles; pounds
the soft hulls off and picks out the nuts,
pausing occasionally to crush one with.
a convenient stone for immediate con-
sumption. His lips are stained; his
hands are dyed and dull brown; he
knows sit will never come off till it.
wears off," and that the chances are
even that he will get whaled, but still
he does it as he did it last year, and as
he will do it again. We all did it.
1t is the day before Thanksgiving-a
glorious, golden, sunshiny and stimulat-
ing day-and the old farmyard is full of
life. Red Pete, as we call last years
gobbler, is strutting about in the glory
of freshly attained adult gobblerhood,
as proud and important as if he We're.
directing the proceedings. He is in, a
sense, though he little imagines the
sense. "Our riot dooms him to bleedto
day." as Pope says, but not having u
reason he a look on in the happiness
of ignorance. The chopping block,
staked fast for the convenience of cut
ting kindling, is before his eyes, and just
beyond the a. is on the grindstone, but
he little imagines that it all has any ref
erence to him; that he is the central
figure in the coming proceedings. Heis3
lovely in life, and in death he will be
divided, the preacher and the poor get
ting their share. %5
The wife and mother takes stock Of
ducks and chickens, but talks of the So
cial features. Will the boys get home
from Asbury university? They will, for
the "spondulix," as college boys in.
those days called the remittance, was;
sent in time, and even now the younger
brother has gone to the country depot to.
fetch them home in the old farm wagon
Thanksgiving morning-the light break
fast is soon dispatched, for that is a
small affair on such a day. There is a,
general brushing up, and all are off to.
the country church. The preacher and
his wife return with the family, and
about l o'clock the great event of the
day is on.
All are there-the two boys from
college, the hired man and one or two
cousins, the Oldest girl of the family and
the rosy checked farmer she married q
year or SO before. The baby is laid on
the bed in the nearest room, and there is
always at least one little girl so fond Of
children that she volunteers to watch.
him. The happy group is seated, the
preacher has his devotional say and$ac.
tual business begins. Red Pete shines
once more, in culinary beauty this time,
but it is positively his last appearance on
these shores. And then the long after
noon of social chat and innocent merri-
ment, and the evening in which the
young people take possession Of the
house! Such was Thanksgiving il ths
good old times, such for the most spar&
it still is, and such may it long continuSi
to be. VIao. .
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
CHAPTER III,
THE COMING OF THE GUESTS.

The COMING OF THE GUESTS.
For several days following that men,
orable fasco of dinner Mr.. Wardwell
led the life of a recluse. He was q regu-
lar contributor to a great magazine, and
his articles all treated of travels in for
eign and unheard of countries. The fact
that his descriptions of the manners and
customs of the Hindoos and Bedouins
and Malays were singularly true to life
is all the more remarkable because he
had never been away from his native
village, and a month Or two after the
date of this story he received a personal
letter from the editor of the magazine
complimenting him upon his realistic
description of the burning and eating of
a European traveller by q cannibal. He
wrote this story during the sad days fol-
lowing the wrecked dinner.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
A MISFIT THANKSGIVING,
BY WALT MASON,
CHAPTER I,

copyright, 1892, by American Press Associa-
toni
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

MI. Wardwell. There was no turkey,
0 was there q pumpkin pie, and con-
sequently the bill Of fare wouldn't in
terest you. But the lonely dinner Of
nearly a week before became a topic Of
ninth and reminded the doctor of about
q dozen of the funniest stories imagi-
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

CHAPTER I.
THE GOVERNORS PROCLAMATION.
"Jim," said the editor of The Gazette
to the blond foreman, 'here's the gov
ernor's Thanksgiving proclamation. Car
you run it in today"
II reckon"
"AH right; l don't know Of anything
that would be more interesting reading
to me. And why? Because I understand
MI. Wardwell will invite some friends
to dinner on Thanksgiving, and l Tell
you, James, there's no mar now living
can arrange such a repast as the urbane,
genial and accomplished Theophilus
Wardwell; his dinners are songs with
out words; they beat the dreams of pro.
fesslonal lotus eaters, and his Thanks
giving dinner will be a revelation in
roast turkey and a symphony in pump
kin pie"
81 s'pose you'll be there?"
eff I'm not it'll be because this poor,
lisping, %stammering tongue lies silent i'm
the grave. He always invites the same
people, and l am one of them. When
he reads the governors proclamation ne
will sit down and write invitations to
his chosen friends, and the chosen
friends will look forward to the day with
longing"
"Do you want to read the proof when
this is in type?"
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

Mrs. Wardwel was inconsolable. Poor.
woman, she couldn't find relief by writ
ing articles about people she had never
heard of, md she began to grow pale
and was filed with q nervous horror Of
meeting anybody, and she imagined that
she was the Laughing stock OF the town.
Nearlya week had elapsed, and her
sorrow was asS heayyif not 90 hysteric
q ever, when one day there was nm en-.
thnstastic ring 81 the doorbeI. There
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

He-Do you remember aver skating
on Thanksgiving day? Il
She-No, indeed. | haven't had a
skate on for a long time. !
He-Iwish Icould say the same thing.
I had one on only last night.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

"Do o WANT TO READ THE proof"
II guess not, Jim; look it over your
SELF"
And it was by this delegation of one
of his important functions to q subordi-
nate that the editor of The Gazette filled
n home with woe and created the
chaos which made this narrative possible.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25

longer, and then if our friends do not
come we'll eat all we can and give the
balance of this feast to the poor or send
it to the heather. It is a sorrowful old
Thanksgiving day for us. expected
a feast of reason and a flow of soul, and
have only a waste of loneliness and woe.
I don't understand it."
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-11-25
CHAPTER ~.
THE DINNER.

They do say that there never was snch
4 Thanksgiving dinner in All the scoun-
~ as the one enjoyed BY the guests Of
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
WI @ AZ EY

Wisely invested will soon double ITSELF
and there are often as many elements Of
safety surrounding a good paying invest
ment as one that pays small dividends. The
earning capacity OF every investment is the
foundation Of dividends. The Atkinson
House Furnishing co., of Maine, Organized
in 1887, has paid its stockholders 9 semi.
annual dividends of per cent. each 90 per
cent a year, and is earning handsome sur.
plus besides. 1t is a buy and sell business
and safe investment for all classes. The
authorized capital is 81, 900, 900, of which
$50, 900 has been paid in. To further in.
crease the business, $50, 900 of the Treas
ury Stock is offered until March 18th, at par,
$40 per share. Price Of stock will be ad.
vanced February 18th to take effect on above
date. For full particulars address the COM
pany, Box 1918, Boston. Mass. Or Portland,
Ne.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
ms PRECIOUS pvnpEN.
snved From tho Storm by PIuch and
tferotsm.


Herotsm.
The wind was blowing gale, the
muddy expansc OF water was heavinp
ike an angry sea, says the Sioux City Trt.
0une. Spectators on the elevated shore
braced themselves against the breeze
and offered up silent prayers for the
heroic men risking their lives iu the res.
cue. Look lookl looki' rose the ex.
cited cry. A thousand eyes were focused
on struggling flgure in the food.
lie water was up to his waist.
Cedar blocks danced round him like
corks. and huge piles Of drift passed
dangerously near him as lie struggled
In the current.
He was strong man. but he was
weighted down with two precious bur-
deus. The wind whirled away his hat
and blew his thick. black hair about his
eyes in sheer deviltly. IL blinded him,
and he dipped his head in the flood to
weigh IL down.
He staggered on. holding all that W as
dear to him safe and dry above the
whirling deluge. His strength 10 failing
now. His grasp seems ready to loosen.
A thousand hearts stop beating as he dis.
appears for a moment, falling from
weakness. He rises. holding aloft what
he risked his life to save from the waves.
Strong arm and brave heart!
a boat shoots around corner. The
boatmen see him. He is saved! In one
hand he grasps an empty valise; in the
Sher a copper .bottomed kettle.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
PHILADELPHIA & READING
RAILROAD.

AFTER MAY IS, 1892.
Trains leave bloomsbury as follows: (sundays
For New York, Philadelphia, Reading, Potts.
VILE, Tamaqua, etc, 6l0, l1.3s a. m.
For Ntlliamsport. 7.45 a. m, 3.l5 p. m. Sun
day, I5s a, m %pnl:
p. m. sunday, T.5S @. m, AIS p. m.
For Catawissa 6.lo 7.45, 1886 a M, l2,l5, 500,
ESQ p. IN. Sunday, i0a. a. m. I.0S p, m.
For Rupert 6.lO, 40, iI.36 a; M; l2l5, BIB,
Trains for Bloomsbury
M, 400 p m. and via Eas,on s.s6 a. M, 43O p. m.
Leave Philadelphia 1000 a. m, 500 o. III.
Leave Reading !i.So a; m: Isl IN.
Leave Tamaqua .21 3, m, 2s p. ~.
Leave williamsI Iort = so a. n. 4s5 p. m. sun
day, 500 a. M, 4.25 pm
ll.l6 p. IA. sunday, 7.i5 a. M, 1.,5, m.
Leave Rupert 6.2l, i.0s, S27, ll4S q. M, l.S7,
s.a!, e.l9, ll.a5 p. In. Sundas. 1852, lO.la &. IN.
For Baltimore, Washington and the West via
B. a. o. II. r., through trains Leave Girard Ave-
nue. station, Phila q. FR. Il. RI la55, s.ol. ll.e7
a. M, l.51, 356, 5i2 7.13 p. m. sundays 355, S02
ll.27 a. M, 3.56, AZ, l3 p. m,
ATLANTIC CITY DIVISION,
Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street Wharf and
South street War.
FOR ATLANTIC CITY.
Weekdays-Express 5.l5 Excursion i5), $50
9,O0, t0.45 a m, 100 saturdays only l.3O), 800,
500 go minute flyer s,sO), 400, $40 600 p. m.
srndays-Express 5li, 100, 7.So, 500, $50, go
$50, 1890 a, M, 80 D. IN. Accommodation, SEQ
a, Ia. ard 4.a5 p, m.
Returning, leave Atlantic city depot, and Ar,
10 0 a. m. and 3lb. 90, $50 (EXculsion, 500,
$50, 730, $50 D, m. Accomn odation, 4l0, $40,
$40 a, m. and 4 80 p. m
sundays-Fxpess $50, 60, 300 C 90 q 20. 30.
$50, SO, $50 p m. Accommodation, $50 O. Ia.
ard 05 pm
A. A. MCI EoD, o. &. HANCOCK,
Pers Hehl Manager, Gen'l Pass. Agt.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12

II am 80 glad, my son, said the low
ing mother of the young architect, as
she fondly stroked his head. that you
have done so well. How much money
do you expect to make this year,"
"Well. mother" replied the talented
young man, "that is hard to tell, but I
am sure Of $4,000. You see," he con-
tinued, gently pressing his mothers
hand, Il have just got an order for four
5000 cottages. truth.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
The Tiger DID No, Attach Him.

when l was once in danger from q
tiger, said an old East India veteran, II
tried sitting down and staring at him, as
l had no weapons.
"How did it work." asked a bystander.
"Psrfectly-the tiger didn't even offer
to touch me-"
Strange! How did you account for
iti"
"Well, sometimes I've thought it was
because ! sat down on a very tall tree. 1"
Irish Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
Conditioned.

Saint Peter Ito newly arrived spirit)-
Take the toboggan slide.
Spirit-But, while in flesh, I never be-
lieved in a hell.
Saint Peter-Can't help that. It's q
condition which confronts you now, not
o theory.-Puck.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12

Wee Hostess-Mamlna, shall invite
Lucy Littnay to my party?
Mamma-Certainly. She is the minis
ter's daughter.
"Do ministers daughters get invited
everywhere
Always"
"They Inns lots of fun, guess. wish
my papa was a minister, stead Of mis-.
BILE sinner. "-Good News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
COmparison.

Hubbard-What do you think Of your
new hands3
Bush-Oh, they knock down things
they're lightning.
Hubbard-What-so quick?
Bush-No; always striking -Tid.Bits
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
How She Knew.

Little Pet-I dess those biscuit mamma
made was dest wight, wasn't they?
Papa-Ies, they were delicious.
Little Pet--I didn't try zem, but
knew zay was.
Papa-You did? How?
Little Pet-You didn't say o word
about zem. Good News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
In Boston.

"Who was called the father Of his coun-
try, Miss Bsacon?"
George Washington was called the
father of his country; but this was an
erroneous idea, for it has been proven
that to Adam belongs the ignominy. -
life
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
lie Was Comprehensive.

Mrs. Snooper-Alen make me tired.
Mrs. Swayback-What's the matter
now?
Mrs. Snooper-My husband saw Mrs.
I,eedch yesterday aud asked him what
she had on and he replied, "Oh, clothes. :"
Judge.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
They Never Get Up.

Old Lady-Ooo! Horrors! There's q
runaway! And there's man in the
wagon. Goo! He'll get killed.
Bystander-Calm your fears, madam.
He'll come out all right 'risn't man:
it's boy.-Good News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
Every Attention Given.

"Mr. Schoolmaster, / hope you will
treat this little boy of mine exactly as if
he were your own son.
"Oh, yes; certainly. Twill give him
whipping every day, since you desire it, v
lid. Bits.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
The Work Was Performed.

Mr.. Wildwest-You surely do not
mean to say you're English. Why, you
don't drop your h's!
Mr.. Tewksbury- Pood-No; me valet
attends TO that for me.-Truth.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
Business Before Pleasure.

Daughter ION a shopping tour}-Why,
mother, you are not going to buy that.
are you? We have only just started out
Mother--True, daughter, but you must
remember, purchases first and shopping
afterwards. Cloak Review.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12
New DE 6ntttOns.

Extending Hand-Filling a straight
flush.
Loud and Long-The Farmers Dinner
Horn.
Cold Comfort-Champagne Frappe.-
p,,ck
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-08-12

Connections at Rupert with Philadelphia {
Reading Railroad for Tamanepd, TsmaquA
northumberland with p. & K Div. p. r. X. for
Harrisburg. Lock Haven, Emporium, Warren,
CORY and Erie.
W. F. HALLSTEAD, Gen. Men,
scranton, Pa