davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
SERVANTCALISM,
How Mary Is at the Play and Door-An-
other Servant Girl.

How Mary Is at the Play and Door-An-
other Servant Girl.
After all the servant girl whatever
may be her shortcomings, increases
the gayety OF nations.
Mary green as shamrock, was sent
by her mistress to go to the Grand
opera house to see '.Mavourneen. It
was an evening of mingled pain and
pleasure. In the first place she went
at o'clock and was tired before the
doors opened. Then there was a
snow-storm in one act which troubled
her greatly, as the evening was fine
when she left home so she put On her
Sunday clothes and brought no UNI
brella- But the play was lovely;
there was as fine young man as ever
you saw who saved a beautiful lady
from a bad william. and Mary knew
| that that would be a match yet.
But Mary, the young man is mar
ried. He has a wife ct home-a nice
lady"
That young man! A wife home!
The Lord be betune US and harm!"
Mary answered a ring at the door.
Have you any furnished rooms?"
Sure an we have plenty av them"
I'D like to see them. =
1t was an English basement house
and the lady was taken up stairs.
! where the mistress found her walking
through the house
/ was looking for furnished
rooms.
This is a private house"
But your servant said"
1T is mistake.
She asked, ma'am if we had fur
nished rooms. An they is furnished.
livery wan Of them. She could SEQ
| that fur hersilf.'
A young couple went down to Cas-
tie Garden to engage a girl of all
work. A tidy trim little Swede at
tracted them.
Can you COOKE" they asked.
No, she answered demurely.
Can you wash and iron?"
No"
''Cau you sweep and make bedsP"
No"
Wei, what can you do?''
Il can milk reindeer"
She was not engaged.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Serpents OF Oiden Times.

The ancients firmly believed in
monster serpents OF all kinds and of
both the land and marine species.
During the wars with Carthage a great
snake is said to have kept the Roman
army from crossing the Bagrados
river for several days. The monster
swallowed up no less than seventy
Roman soldiers during the combat and
was not conquered until a hundred
stones from as many different catapults
were fired upon it all at one time. Tho
monster skull and SIX in were preserved
and afterwards exhibited in one of the
Roman temples. The dried skin Of
the creature was 120 feet in length,
according to Pliny.
Boa-Oxus city on the Ganges is
said to have been so named because a
gigantic serpent 120 cubits long and
having a double head, was killed at
the present site OF the town about the
year SCI A. d.
One of the first copies of the Had
was written on the great gut" of a
dragon. said intestine being $50 inches
in length and Is inches broad. 1t was
destroyed in the great fire at Constan-
tinople. st Louis Republic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
CHILDISH LACK OF COMMON SENSE
Grasshoppers, Pigs and Cows Formally
Tried for Murder.

To prove that the human family of
three or four centuries ago had a child
ish want of common sense, and that
they were bound by an absurd devo-
ton to forms and customs, we need
but refer to few of the remarkable
animal trials of the sixteenth century.
One of the most celebrated of these
was a case tried in Savoy in 1916, when
suit was brought, in the name of the
people, against the grasshopperS, which
were then ravaging the country. A.
LAWYER was found to undertake the de-
Tense of the insects, and the records,
which are still accessible to-day, prove,
that he exhausted his ingenuity in
pleading their cause.
Seeing that they coUld do nothing,
better, and that the grasshoppers were
fast laying waste the country, the
magistrates agreed to formally deed
them 4 large tract of country on CON-
dition that they would leave the re-
mainder untouched. The lawyer took
spent several days looking over the
proposed Canaan of his clients. He
finally returned to court and declared
that "his clients could not accept the
proposal, because the land offered them
was an abandoned and sterile tract,
producing little or nothing suited to
their uses and sustenance."
The court decided the case against
the grasshoppers, however, and they
were "ordered and commanded" to
remove forthwith to the district set
apart for them. They must have re-,
fused to obey the mandates of the
court, for the records tell of n great
famine in Savoy that year caused by
the ceaseless warfare of the grass,
jumpers against everything that God
made green"
Hundreds of court records in France.
Spain, Holland, Italy and Austria
prove that animals were tried for all
sorts of great and petty crimes up to
within the last hundred years.
In 1882 a cow was tried for murder
at Poitonf. France, and five years later
pig, which had killed child in the
streets of Menlan, was thrown into
prison, tried, and finally strangled in
the market-place.
Any one who has access to library
containing sets of Meliott's Remark
able Trials" can prove that the above
specimens are not fanciful Sketches
st. Louis Republic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Napolini's Error.

Ptctro Napolini di Vendetta Pasquarelle
Deserted balny Italy, the land that loved him
well.
And sailed for soft America, of wealth the
To earn sufficient dollars there to make him
self count.
And marveIled at the poet who observed in
tripping rhyme
How this New n Worls was genial, and sunny
No chance had he for music that's developed
by a crank.
No chance had he at sculpture nor penny in
the bank.
The peanut trade was 1anguid, and for him
too full of risk.
He thought the work on railways for his blood
was rather brisk
The sole profession left him to assuage his
StOmachS Woe
It struck him in meandering the city to and
fro.
Was surely that of shovelling away the rich
mans snow.
And then P. Napolfni df Vendetta Pasquarelle
Sought out city tlforoughfare, the SWEETEST OF
the swell. !
He stole shovel, and he found broom he
thought would do,
Then rang the massive frOnt-door bell of
Stuyyesant Depew.
Il wanta shOv da snow he said, when there
at last appeared
Fitzjohn Augustus Higgins, who in Birming-
a man by all in low estate much hated and
much feared.
'GO wi" said Fitz, with gesture bold. Eyer
cahnt do DOthink ere.
Yer bloOmin hugIy furrinCr!' he added, with
a sheer.
Hi thinks as 'ow you dagoes is the cuss O.
this ere land
With wuthy citizens like me most starved on
every and.
Hi vows hif I'd me wi at all hid order hout a
troop,
Hand send the bloomin' lot O. yer cad over
'eelSin soup.
Git hout, yer nahsty grabber yer; hewacuate
the stOOp."
Then when the snow had melted off, Fizjohn
Augustus went
And humbly asked his master for two dollars
that he'd spent
In paying NapOlini di Vendetta PaSquarelle;
While Nap went back to Italy, the land that
loved him well,
Convinced that when he sailed that time his
country to fOrsake,
He must have got aboard the ship when he
was half awake,
And got tC London not New York, by some
most odd mistake.
John Kendrick Bangs, in Harper's Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28

posterlor face OF the secona slate tho
nail of the middle finger makes sound
resembling that produced by chalk
when written with. When the operator
Judges that this little comedy has last
ed quite long enough he lays the two
states horizontally upon his table, TAX
ing care this time that the non-pre-
pared slate shall be beneath. 1t is
upon it that then rests the black card
board and the other slate on being
raised shows the characters that it
bears and that are stated to have been
written by an invisible spirit that slip
ped in between the two states.
Our readers will not ask us how we
manage to know in advance what
should be written upon the slate. 1t
Is useless to say that deceit is allow
able in prestidigitation Loaded dice
always turn up the same number and
nothing Is easier than to know the
name of the card that spectator will
draw from pack composed of thirty
two similar cards, if not skillful enough
to cause him to take the forced card.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
CirCassians for Sale.

Circassian boys and girls may still
be bought even in Constantinople. and
will be SO long as parents are eager to
sell their children. The government
may pass laws and honestly carry
them out, but friendly transaction Of
this kind cannot be prevented. AS
the young slaves grow up, however,
they learn their rights, and naturally
they give trouble. But of late years
it has become a common practice in
households of the middle class to train
a Circassian boy, educate him-often
at Fobert College-and start him in
life with view, if he turn out well,
of marrying him to one of the masters
daughters. So with girl slaves also.
but less frequently. We have been
told by parents that such marriages
arc nearly always happy. No shadow
of excuse can be urged for the slave
trade. But it will not be thought sur
prising after the facts detailed that
respectable Moslems find another point
of view-Tbe SATURDAY ReUjeW.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Chicago Produce Market.

CHICAGO April 25.--Thc following quotations
are for larg" lots only. Smaller Quantities are
usually sold at advanced rares:
BUTTER Fancy Elgn stock, PC per 10;
fancy creamery 2oll2ic: fancy limitations, 10
Gl20c. western goods lSc; fancy dailtcs. 500
No. ?. l6Dlic; selects, l7@9c; fine IadleS
i8c; fresh packing stock, I30l7c; grease. &
@7c.
POTATOES -Early Ohio 40045c per bu; Bur
bauEs 33035c; Hebrons, 2S83Oc; rose, 27I13O:.
bell. 23025c; peerless % 026t mixed. 22IQ25o
New potatoes California. s. 5O03 per sack:
Cuba, Il OoG80J per brl
PouLTRY Hens, I2llc; roostcrs, 5h0Ghc:
ducks I20l3c; geese, 1907 per doz; turkey
hens, I3c mixed. lI@l2tac; old gobbIecs, lOc.
CHEGsE-~Full cream Young Americas i2K
@l3c; 90 twins, Il4@I2c; chcddars. II0llIao;
brick, lI3a@l2c, limburGer gh0lOnc; Swiss
IHaMl"e.
BtUEs-No l light and heavy. 4atc; No do
S8@1ae, No calf, ~; No ,, 5}4c; lalIow. MOL
a.; Ne ,, 31ac
BurrERlNE-Tnncy creamery. Poe: extra
dairy, 49,, dairy solid. l3c; rolls and prints. 1aG
additional.
VEAr~-Fancy calves, 506o per To- grasscr.
&c; small and thin. 203c
EGGsStrictIy fresh stock. t21&8l8c.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
SLATE WRITING IS EASY.
4 Famous Spiritfst Trick Can BE Done
with little Practice.

Two ordinary wooden framed states
are presented to the spectators and
examined in succession by them. A
small piece of chalk is introduced be-
tween the two states, which are then
united by rubber band and held aloft
in the prestidigator's right hand, says
La Nature.
Then in the general silence is heard
the scratching of the chalk which is
writing between the two states the an
swer to a question asked by one of the
spectators the name of a card thought
of or the number of spots obtained by
throwing two dice. The rubber band
having been removed and the states
separated, one of them is seen to be
covered with writing.
This prodigy, which at first sight
seems to be so mysterious, is very
easily realized.
The writing was done in advance,
but upon the written side Of the slate
A there has been placed a thin sheet of
black card board, which hid the
characters written with chalk. The
two sides of this slate appear absolute
ly clean.
The slate B is given out for eXami-
nation, and, after it has been returned
to him, the operator says: "Do you
want to examine the other one also"
And then without any haste he makes
a pass analogous to that employed in
shutting cards. The slate A being
held by the thumb and fOrefnger of
the left hand and the slate B between
the fore and middle finger of the right
hand, the two hands are brought to-
gether. But at the moment at which
the states are superposed the thumb
and forefnger of the right hand grasp
the slate A, while at the same time the
fore and middle finger of the left hand
take the slate 3. Then the two hands
separate anew and the slate that has
already been examined, instead OF the
second one, is put into the hands OF
the spectator. This shifting, done
with deliberatiop, is entirely invisible
During the second examination the
slate A is laid fat upon the table, the
written face turned upward and cover
cred with a black cardboard. The
slate having been sufficiently examined
and been returned to the operator the
latter lays it upon the first, and both
are then surrounded by a rubber band.
1t is then that the operator holds up
the states with the left hand OF which
one sees but the thumb. while upon the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
On IL Crusade Against Trusts.

PHILADELPHIA, April 25.-During the
last week c. M. Horton, the newly APP
pointed special agent of the Depart
mcnt of Justice, whose special duty it
is to investigate illegal combines, has
been in this city, and it is understood
that the object of his visit was to coll
lect evidence against the sugar trust,
and the National Cordage trust. From
here Mr.. Horton went to New York,
where the District Attorney is to act
with him i'll the crusade against the
cordage combine and possibly the SUI
gar trust.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Not General Lees Nephew.

WASHINGTON, April 25.-A short time
ago q dispatch was sent under st.
Louis date to the effect that q nephew
Of Gen. Fitzhugh Lee, of Virginia, had
attempted suicide in that city; that Lee
had been a graduate of two Kelley in
stitutes, and would have given much
if he had never tried the cure" Mr.
Worthingtou, secretary of the in8titute
at Oak Crest, Md, wrote to Governor
Lee in reference to the matter. and has
received a reply stating: Il never had
a nephew named Harry Lee, and know
nothing Of the person referred to-"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Washing Little Indians.

We were camped at the Hot Springs
on the Lo Lo trail, made famous in
Indian annals by the escape of Chief
Joseph and his band of Nez Perces
just above us was a large camp of
Flatheads who were making their fall
hunt. One morning we were awaken
ed by shouts and cries. Evidently
there was great excitement somewhere
and we promptly jumped up. 1t was
just after daylight, and cold clouds of
steam were rising from the big BASIN
shaped pool at the foot of the granite
wall from which poured thick stream
of boiling water. The pool was so
large that at the lower edge the water
was almost cold; the nearer YOU ap-
preached to the place where the hot
water burst from the rock the better
chance you stood of getting boiled.
At the edge, at a point where the
water was of a comfortable tempera-
ture, stood two Indians, one on the
bank and the other on a stone in the
water. Near by were a dozen other
Indians guarding q number OF little
Indians boys and girls who had moth
ing on and were bowling and crying.
When we looked out of the tent the
two Indians at the pool had an Indian
boy-one holding him by the feet, the
other by the hands-aud were gravely
swinging him backward and forward
through the warm water, while he
yelled at every dip. AS soon as they
had finished with him he was set up
on the bank, and ran to the willow
brush near by.
Then the noise redoubled, for each
child in the group guarded by the In
dams feared that it was his turn.
They all tried to escape to the brush,
but their elders pursued and caught
them, until the very last one had
been put through the clea. sing process.
N. 7. Sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
swINDLED THE TIFFANYS.
New York Man Takes Advantage of Fam
lily Friendship.

NEW YORK, April 21,-Jas. A. Palmer
WIS arrested this afternoon charged with
the larceny of $4,000 from Tiffany & Co.
The stealing has been carried on more
than FIVE years. Palmer acknowledged
his guilt and to an officer said he wished he
had shot himself. The prisoners father
and Charles L. Tiffany were close friends.
from toyhood until Palmer's death, sew
eraI years ago The Palmers manufac-
tured fine bronzed goods for the TltfAnys.
Owing to the intimate acquaintance of
Tiffany and the elder Palmer, bills be-
tween the houses were audited very loosely
and for the last FIVE years young Palmer
has taken advantage OF this fact TO swim
die the 1iffanys.
TIE matter vas discovered by accident
and it is thought the amount may exceed
$4,000 when the books are carefully ex-
amined. Palmer has been playing the
races al d losing heavily. He has fami
Iy and lis wife is completely Frustrated.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28

details Of an immense conspiracy among a
half dozen gamblers to use Nelson as
tool to steal the funds of the bank.
Archie S. McNabb, a German, whom
Nelson, in his affidavit duplicates in an
attempt to blackmail him by exposure,
made an affidavit corroborating Nelson.
The action against the gamblers
for conspiracy is being reserved, pending
the outcome of the motion to dismiss,
which will be argued Monday. If the ar
rest and bail proceedings hold good the
action for conspiracy will not be pushed
The gamblers had Nelson in poker game
in which be lost large sums but paid
promptly, generally the day after the loss.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Ancient Wheat.

The Chinese cultivated wheat 200
years before the beginning of the
Christian era, always considering it as
gifts direct from heaven. Scientific
agriculturists are of the opinion that it
was widely known and cultivated by
prehistoric man. At the present time
it is the principal bread corn Of the
leading European nations, and is fast
supplanting the use of maize, or Indian
corn, in the American states.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28

CHICAGO, April D SEEns-Sacs by samplc
were; Flax, No. /, 95U@5l4c, rejected, 9aHc;
timothy. IL 240l&O; clover, SO 6O06.75
CoRN-Sales by samples were: No. > white
40Iac; No. , yellow, 4li%c; No 3, 4OC; No. s
white, 404@40Iac: No. T. 39lQ4Oc.
BRAN-Salcs were at SlL150i225.
MIDDLiNGS-Sales were nj S12.50.
HAY-Salcs we're: No | timothy, SI20i3O0i
No. ., SI0506II 80: MIXED timothy, 5000; up
land prairie, $40 500ll.
WINTER WHEAT-Sacs by sample were: No
Sired, 90c; No. rcd 7Sc
SPRING WHEAr-Salcs by sample were: No.
4, 10GQ76c.
OATs-Salcs by samples were: No -. 29114
500 No white, 3I1032Ac. No 3, @7GD29c
No CD white, S043lc-
BARLEY-Salcs by sample were; No .
&2Q6Sc; No. 4, 4005Oc.
WBIsKy-Steady at SII3
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Fatal ExpIosiou of Natural Gas.

SrruBENvIrIE, April 25,-Two OK
plosions of natural gas took place about
7;3o o'clock this morning at the Sum-
MGR Glass Works, fatally burning Sadie
Crawford, a packer, and dangerously
injuring Lawrence Christensen, another
employee. A number of boys and girls
were more or less hurt by being hit by
flying debris, The explosion was
caused Ivy pipe breaking and the gas
Igniting from the furnace. The damage
to the factory is about $500.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Work for Idle Little Fingers.

Charming little chairs. tables, and
sofas for dolls are made by cutting
pieces of cork in the shape of the. seats
of the chairs and sofas, and covering
them with silk or satin. The legs are
made OF pins. with crewel silk of the
same color as the furniture wound
around them, and the backs Of the sofas
and chairs Of pins of different sizes, the
large in the center, the small outside
with the crewel silk twisted in and
out IS to entirely cover them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28

poor to choice grades, light and heavy weights
selling at substantially the same prices. Al
though the quality of the offerings was rather
poor the greater part of them were taken at
A.50 @4.6o. There were scattering sales at
a. 671s0470 but the amount of trading at over
S4.65 did rot cut much Of figure. Culls were
salable at S20410.
SHEEP-Sheep were in fair request and
being in light supply, sold fully as well as al
the close of last week; in fact, good to best
light and medium weights were rather
stronger. Quotations range from S5055O for
very common grades to S65GQ6.65 for strictly
choice. The lamb market was firm at IS 751
=
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
COMBINES MAGNETIC SPEECH.
The Famous Opening words Were Writ
ten by Charles q. IIaIpin.

Men who would write the history OF
twenty years ago had best postpone it
for later information. This was my
thought after | rose from a convcrsa-
ton with Thomas Murphy of New
York, who visited Washington after an
absence of about eight years. ] greet
ed him without expectation of more
than few gOod-natured sentences,
but almost the first thing he said ar
rested me.
"Do YOU remember" said Mr.. Muir
ply, chow Conkling opened the speech
he nominated Grant with in 1880 at
Chicago?"
when asked what State he halls from
Our sole reply shall be-
He halls from AppOmattOX
And its famous apple tree.
every well" said [, every body there
must remember it."
"Well, ! gave that to Conkling; he
did not know the verse. The fact was
that Charles Halpin wrote that piece
and brought it in manuscript to my
house, and one Of my family under
took to read it and made some funny
mistakes. Halpin then read it," Mr..
Murphy here recited several stanzas Of
the poem. CAS- Conkling was to nomi-
nate Grant | called him aside and told
him that the four lines | have quoted
would arrest the attention of the con-
vention, thought better than any
other sentence. He did not take at
once to the suggestion, but said to me
that evening: 4 wish you would not
mention those lines to anybody else, as
| shall probably use them | said |
would not, and Conkling made them
celebrated" - cath IN the Cj7acjaanGti
EnQuirer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Chicago Board of Trade.

CHICAGO April . There was Il firm opening
TO the wheat market. May started about &c
and July &c better than their respective clos
ing prices on Saturday. Apart from the chilly
weathcr--it scarcely deserved to be called cold
which prevailed in this State, Indiana, Mich.
gan, Ohio, and East to New York there was
nothing which differed materially from the as
pcct of affairs at the close of last week. The
cables were barely steady and the cool wealth
err, although unfaVOrahle to the rapid growth,
was not otherwise considered Injurious.
Closing quotations were:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Live Stock.

CHICAGO April 25.--CATTLE-No less than
1929 carloads arrived, making grand aggre.
gate of about $1,000 head, or 1000 head more
than were ever before received in one day The
average reduction in fair to choice steers was
from 25Q30c per 100 pounds while 15Q20c COW
ers the shrinkage in butchers and Gamers
stock. Although there was an active demand
at the lower price there were several thousand
cattle for which no buyers could be found and
the market was very limp at the close.
HoCs-Sales we're generally al nc advance.
There was ian active demand at 81 3OQ94.65 tor
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-04-28
Buried Alive.

In Persia, when a man is convicted
of robbery, they put him IN a brick
tank by the roadside pour plaster Of
Paris around him till he is suffocated,
and leave him standing there hermet-
ically sealed up as a warning to all
Mat pass that way.