Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-09-08
KIND-HEARTED DRUooIsr.
'.A1arlz TwaIn' Tens an interesting story o
Him


shark Twain Tens an Interesting story Of
Him.
Mark Twain was present at the
banquet Of the National Wholesale
Druggists Association at its recent
meeting in Washington, and in re-
turn for his dinner related the follow
ing story, given in the Pharmaceuti-
cal Era:
'About thousand years ago, ap-
proximately, 1 was apprenticed as a
printers devil to learn the trade, in
common with three other boys of
about my own age. There came to
the village a long-legged Individual,
Of about nineteen, from one Of the in
terror counties; flsh-eyed. no express
sion, and without the suggestion of a
smiIe-couldn't have smiled for a
salary. We took him for fool and
thought we would try to scare him
to death. We went to the village
druggist and borrowed a skeleton. The
skeleton didn't belong to the drug
gist, but he had imported it for the
village doctor, because the doctor
thought he would send away for it,
having some delicacy about using
Laughter. The price Of a skeleton
at that time was $50. I don't know
how high they go now, but probably
higher, on account of the tariff.
Laughter. We borrowed the skeIe-
ton about nine o'clock at night, and
we got this man-Nicodemus Dodge
was his name-we got him down
town, out of the way, and then we
put the skeleton in his bed. He lived
in little, One-Storied log cabin in
the middle of vacant lot. We left
him to get home by himself We en-
jOyed the result in the light Of antici-
patton; but, by-and-by, we began to
drop into silence; the possible conSe-
quences were proving upon us. Sup
pose that it frightens him into mad.
ness, oVerturns his reason. and sends
him screaching through the streets!
We shall spend isleepless nights the
rest Of our days. Everybody was
afraid. By-and-by, it was forced to
the lips Of one of us that we had
better go at once and see what had
happened. Loaded down with crime,
we approached that hut and peeped
through the window. That long
legged critter was sitting on his bed
with a hunk of gingerbread in his
hand, and between the bites he played
tune on jews harp. There he sat
perfectly happy, and all around him
on the bed were toys and jim-cracks
and striped candy. The darned cuSs
he had gone and sold that skeleton
for So. Naughter) The druggists
$50 skeleton was gone. We went in
tears to the Druggist and explained
the matter. We couldn't have raised
that S50in $50 years. We were get
ting board and clothing for the first
year, clothing and board for the sec
ond year, and both of them for the
third year. The druggist forgave US
on the spot, but he said he would
like us to let him have our skeletons
when we were done with them.
There couldn't be anything fairer
than that; we Spouted our skeletons
and went away comfortable. But
from that time the druggists prosper
ity ceased. Thatswas one of the most
unfortunate speculations he ever
wentinto. After some years one of
the boys went and got drowned; that
was one skeleton gone, and I tell you
the druggist felt pretty badly about
it. A few years after another Of the
boys went up in balloon. He was
to get So an hour for it. When he
gets back they will be owing him one
million dollars. The druggists prop
ertY was decreasing right along. AT
ter few more years, the third boy
tried an experiment to see if a dyna-
mite charge would GO 1t went all
right. They found some Of
| him, perhaps Vest-pOcletful;
still, it was enough to show that some
more of that estate had gone. The
druggist was getting along in years,
and he commenced to correspond with
me. have been the best correspon-
dent he has. He is the sweetest-na-
tured man 1 ever saw-always mild
and polite, and never wants to hurry
me at all I get letter from him
every now and then, and he never re-
fers to my form as skeleton; says:
'tWell, how is it getting along-is it
in good repair?" got a night-rate
message from him recently-said he
was getting old and the property was
depreciating in value, and If I could
let him have part Of it now he would
give time on the balance Laughter. /
Think Of the graceful way in which
he does everything-the generosity of
it all. You cannot find a finer char
acUer than that It is the gracious
Characteristic of all druggists So.
out of my heart / wish you all pros
perity and every happiness"
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