The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-03-23
.HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Under the rose-Thc thorn.

Under the rose-The thorn.
A roll OF music-The drum solo
Thebest thing out-A conAagration.
brakes Magazine.
When silence is broken, "the il
said, the soonest mended."
Time has more lives than a cat. It tc
stand an indefinite amount of killing.
tits natural for a fellow to boil wit,
rage when he gets tired.-BinghamtoA
Republican.
1t is seldom that the crusty man is
toasted-That is the difference between
man and his bread. Puck.
1t is said that grip germs have been
caught and photographed. Wonder if
they "look pleasantl" Statesman.
"Does giblets move in the best So
ciety2" eyes; he has to move. He
never pays his rent. Yale Record.
To begin at the top rung of the ladder
and to end at the lowest one is the great
combination of success in case of fire
Puck.
The old man in his second childhood
is rarely as ridiculous as the young father
in his first babyhood. d.-Indianapolis
Journal.
A Vigilance Committee in Montana
cunning for church organist because
passed of false note.-Bingham
Republican.
Considering Mr., Gladstone's achiC
ment with the axe, wouldn't it be
appropriate to call him the "Graud
eller"-Boston Post.
A great deal of mystery attend
running of the cars to the summit of tho
White Mountains; they always (go up
incog Courier.
Manager at the Dime-"What's all
that racket up therel" Attendant
"Why, a dog got in and has been gnaw-
ing the ossifed man. Minneapolis
Journal.
Riohard-"I know people consider
Miss Smart pretty, but there's something
about her face that l don't like" Will
iam-"PerhOps it is her noes. boston
Transcript.
n poNtllNl tAdliplt VI LlOFlhS ulO-
quence is when the old gentleman put his
head into the parlor at 2 O'Clock and says
it is time for callers TO go.--Binghamton
Republican.
"What do you think of a man who
will deliberately tell you that his 6abX,s
no smarter than the general runks.
babiesp 81 think he is a liar. In
dianapolis journal.
She-'Promise me if die you will
never marry again" He-''What And
let people think my dear little first wife
was such terror that l didn't dare tol
Never. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Master Mary, l wish you would. be
more careful. am very sorry to {c>
my wife has to scold you so oft&
Mary-"Oh, don't you mind me, sir.
don't take any notice of it."-Comic.
Women are more faithful to memor
than men. All of them cling as tenG
ously and as long to their Hyouth as the
eau, and yet with many of them it is
mere memoIy,--Philadelphia Times
The beggar was a reckless wight
Perhaps 1t was his fate.
/ handed him nickel bright,
For TO relieve his hungry plight;
He sought the nearest slot in sight
And straightway tried his weight
New Orleans Times. Democrat
Helping Him Out Blngo-"Did
succeed in cutting down your shopp
expenses this month as l requisite
Mrs. Bingo-"Oh, yes, indeed, d
You know that nice woolen underv
you wanted2 Well, l got something
cotton much cheaper. Cloak Revjew
Mrs. ShoddY--'I want to make IN
sons wife birthday present. Jewe.T
--"Would you like to see our styles Of
diamond necklacesi' Mrs. Shoddy-
"Yes, want to get her something han,
some to wear around her throat Give
me some of those diamond tiaras | have
read about in the paper, Texas Silt
ings.
Captains Wife to her husband
"Arthur, love, l want you to give Jac
a good dressing down tomorrow. CH
fort am perfectly salts
fed with the fellow" She-"Wcll, yC
know, he has got to beat the carpets
morrow, and he strikes ever so INV
harder when he is in bad temper"
Swabische Dorfzeitung.
"Scrawk! Scrawk! Scrawkm
Shovel the snow from your broad sd1'
Wake up the neighbor who sighs
snore,
Rest for moment; then give him
more
"sorawk scrawkl scrawdtyl-sara'
Heed not the whirlwind of wild
talk
That answers each burst of your snow
din,
Piling up volumes Of records of sim.
just when the dawn is beginning toI
just when we feel the true galua0t
Get out the shovel and all slumu9r
With "Scrawk Scrawk SrrHr
Lewiston