Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-01-13
TEA-TABLE SALAD.


-Anekdoten Bi6li0thek.
"MARRIAGE has not changed him
much" said Mrs. Potts. Before we
were married lie would not let me carry
| the highest bundle-and he does not
now. He lets me lug the heavy oues."
indianapolis .journd{
FARMER MEDDERGRAss =" Be YOU a
| lawy sir ?" craftsmanship dignity
- am practicing law, sir" Medder-
grass - moving away - thought
mebbe you'd cot the trade learned. l'll
go TO somebody else. "-Epoch.
DREssMAKING es abl;shments want
| measures, but not men.-Picdy1tne.
THE Post-office Department appears
to be just little two cents-atlve on the
subject of penny postage Bi'aQhdmt0n
| Leaier.
| FIRST IRIsHMAN-'P Flanagan has
| jist been drowned" Second Irfshman-
He's lucky bhoy. Oh always thought
he'd be hanged - Comic.
A BEAUTIFUL New Years anthem
should be written on the office towel
and entitled, "Wring out the old, ring
in the = WosIliaqon Star.
They're now made one, who once were two,
No more till death to part
He matched a shade for her, and that
Was how hewon her heart.
-NelU York Press
IT wasn't enough Uncle Sam should
have trouble with his foreign relations,
but here come annoyances from some
of his Mexican borders Philadelphia
Times
HANKs-"I am particular about my
razor, and | don't want it used on a
second party" Barber-'I never took
that razor to 40 pahty, boss. "-NeaO
York Herald.
JUDGE FowLER-"Speak up, now
Rastus Henshaw-"Dad's jes de
trouble; couldn't get by dem no how
sab. Puck
Seeing a mouse dart across the room
she screamed murder at the top Of her
voice" Il suppose that is what you
would call murder on the high Cs. -
Ne10 York Press.
JOHNNY, Johnny" said the minister,
as he met an urchin one Sunday after
noon carrying string of fish, edo those
belong to you ?'' ''Y e-es, sir; you see
that's what they get for chasing worms
on Sunday. Spare Moments
TEACHER OF NEGRO School pointing to
letter N)-''What's that letter, Jonas ?"
Jonas (bashfully)-"Guess don't know.
sab" Teacher-'Oh, yes. Think q
minute" Jonas (brightening)-
yes, sab. Da's daddy's name. "-Drake'S
HogG1i1e.
PHELIM-"P hwere wor yez goin'
phwin Oh saw yez goin' into Casey's 2"
Dennis-''Into Casey's man, to be sure"
Phellm-"W ull, Oh wish Old sane yez;
Old Nv had We rush tn can fer w"
Wull, We did see me, didn't
yez?" Pheim-" Faith, not till yoz wor
.,~~l>4 Ii,
iAcK-"What are you going to do
rattle" Jack = "Where ?" Harry
Miss Trix's. She gave her heart to
about dozen of us at Bar Harbor last
summer, and we're going to shake for
it."-Horper's Bdear.
AFTER long and exciting struggle
with Ben Butler the grippe is able to be
about again Washington Post.
IT is not considered an advancement
when boy has to ''come off the perch"
to take rod. ~ Columbus Post
TIE world is full of men so engaged
in saying Amen" that they fail to see
the contribution basket.-Atcbison Globe.
''Now, my little man, describe your
symptoms" 81 haven't dot any symp-
tins. I dot pain. -Harper'S Ba5ar.
One Of the highest offices IN the gift of
the government is that of Waterman in
the Washington Monument ,dstinq-
ton Star.
WHEN physician checks patients
malady he feels that sooner or later he
ought to have check in return-Boston
Courier.
ONE of the slowest features about the
street cars is lot of women moving UP
to make room for somebody else.-Pha-
adetphia Times.
THE candidate who wants the vote of
the people never gets tired of hearing
you wish him many happy returns
Baltimore american.
WHEN the minister sees his congre-
cation scratching their backs on the
edges of the pews he realizes that buck
wheat is the -four of the f1ock.-Bn1g-
hanaton Leader.
"WELL, your goose is cooked" ex-
claimed Bowser as he entered his parlor.
WHO has been roasting you this time,
my DEAR" asked Mrs. Bowser anxious
ly.-NeO York Herald.
A NIGHTMARE nevah eat mince
pie, y said Chappie. "Why not?" asked
Hicks. HIt makes me dwean of my an
cestahs, and between US, they were all
twadesmen. "-Life's Calendar.
w HAI kin vi CAKE was IHaI you
gave me?" he asked cit was marble
cake" was the reply. Didn't you
know it?" Not exactly; but ever
since I swallowed it, l rather suspected
it, Washington Star
FATHER-''Well, Tommy, how do you
think you will like this little fellow for
a BROTHER Tommy inspecting the
new infant somewhat doubtfully)-
Have we got to keep him, papa, or is
he only a sample Pr Chicago Tribune.
THE Boss-"Look here, Tomson.
you've painted that laundry sign
Landry What do you mean by such
work as that?" Journeyman-"I dode
dow how it was, udless it's because I've
got ad lawful cold id the head "-Hor~