Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1892-03-10
EyEsHe EoaoEs.

Mrs. Gadd-Mru SBlabb tells me her
daughter is goindl,eo marry man of
note. Mrs. CABIN rats queer. | heard
she was engaged \ , a trombonist.--
Good Neios. IN
English Tourist-AI say, what makes
you Americans talk with your noses ?"
American-'I say, what makes you
Britishers talk with your don't-yer
knowses ~ Chicago Tribune.
at is said that an honest man is the
noblest work of God. What do you
think is the noblest work of man ?"
swell, my notion Of IL is that an honest
dollar will be about right when he
makes it, Boston Post.
Unheard-of Threat. --Fweddy-"He
awsked me if | had a chaperon Baw
Jove. I'm going to give him piece of
my mind" Cholly-"Do it 1t will
paralyze him, ole chapple-it will para
lyze him !"-Chicd9o Tribune.
Too Literal.-Teacher -"Whon the
wise men came to the King, what did
they say" Boy-"They said; %, king,
live for everi" Teacher--"Quite right:
and what then ?" Boy--"And imme-
diately the king lived eyer."-LJo's
Calendar.
Mr.. softheart (wearily)f,lam SO beset
by subscription agents f,&i,epcieties for
the amelioration Of all sslN of things
that can't half attend tobL tness. How
do you manage such fcll6-ts? Hard
heart (gcnially)-Send 'erf ito you.--
Harpcr's Basar. M
The two professors from tlN Imperial
College, at Pekin, who are tl,&hing the
| Chinese emperor English, volve pro-
| gressod so far that his majestic now
say "Good molning" almost tN same as
| Mclean man. The months IL China
man likes best in English Ne those
without an r in Observation-Disclosures
Ledger.
"You seem to be well used to tramp
ing the track" said the bearded pard
scraping an acquaintance as they went
along. Certainly" was the reply, my
profession is that of a walking gentle
man." "And why do you go all the
way to New York;" aWell, because
there are so many ties between u.s.
Boston POST
"When two words are made into one
that is, into compound word-you
join them together with hyphen,"
said the teacher, "That boy who was
whispering may now tell me what was
saying" "You said that you must
fasten two words together with hair
PIN" answered the boy.-Hd,per's
Young People.
"IIalf of this bottle of wine is gone.
II seems to me that you should be able
to stand the temptation" said Penny
bunker to his colored servant. "Dat ar
am easier said den done, boss" "At any
rate you, you should come out like n
man and say that you stole the wine"
dat ar am easier done den said, boss"
--Ierds Siftin9s.
Even rattlesnakes live to wonderful
old age in Eastern Oregon's hcalthful
climate. The East Oregonian states that
Mr.. Darnell has the tail of rattlesnake
in his possession containing 81 rattles
and button. 1t seems incredible that
a rattlesnake could attain the age of 81
years, yet the rattles were there to prove
it and were seen by numerous citizens.
One of the city's prominent life in
surance agents has bright boy. One
day in Sunday-school the little fellows
teacher was telling her class about
Daniel in the lions den. Tommy lis.
tened attentively, and finally burst
forth with: "Did Daniels children get
his life insurance when he was all eaten
upT This "broke up" the class
Boston Herald
The Farmers Pleasant Life.-Boston
Girl TO Uncle James)-Do you like
living on a farm? Uncle James-Yes
like it very much. Boston Girl
suppose you like it well enough in the
grand summer time, but to go out in
the cold and snow to gather winter
apples and harvest winter wheat,
imagine might be anything but pleasant
-Ierds Siftings.
A gentleman who contcmplates the
| purchase of certain piece of real estate
in this vicinity, becoming somewhat i'm
, patient with the real estate agent who
was negotiating the sale at his tardines.
in obtaining the abstract, impatiently
exclaimed: snow, here, want you t
hurry up and get an abscess to tina
/ land, and no more fooling about it,
Satem (Ore.) Irrigdtor.
Bridal Fancies.-Married in white
. you have chosen all right. Married il
gray, you will go far away. Married il
black, you will wish yourself back
Married in red, you will wish yoursel
dead. Married in green, ashamed to b.
seen. Married in blue, he will Away
S be true. Married in pearl, you will liv,
: in whirl. Married in yellow, ASHAMED
of your fellow. Married in brown, yol
4 will live out Of town. Married in pink
your spirit will sink.-0M Rhymes.
= mount Washington" says the Port
: land (Me.) Ado0rtiser, ais to be cappe,
u with the largest electric search light eve
made, and the highest beam of artificial
Il light in the world. 1t can be easily see
!, from Portland, and under proper con
II ditions it can probably be seen eve
e from Boston. The company which is I
u be organized TO carry out the schem
e will be made up of prominent railroa
u and hotel men interested in the futur
= development Of New Hampshire"
rs "Now, there is story l don't be
,e lieve,n said Colonel Yerger, as he ai
aside an exchange. "What story
that, Colonel?" asked Gus De Smitl
"Why, that paper says that Cotopa,
can sometimes be heard 500 miles.
- "You don't believe it?" "Of course
- don't believe it. I'll bet there isn't
r. singer in the world that can be hear
= half that far" But Cotopaxi is vo
u cano, colonel" as It? | thought
>, was one of those Italian fellows that q
y, about with Patti Teas SVtiags.
Il, Horrible Idea,--Thoughtful Pupil