The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-05-11

when laboring under great mental excite
ment he can emit shrlekS that would drive
peacock mad with envy or set baseball
coacher crazy. While engaged in play
Peters voice is never heard; 1t is only when
he is going home.
Peter Kelley senior does business at $40
Third street, where he has constantly on
hand a large and varied assortment Of
chewing tobacco, Overals, red socks and
cigarettes. The family lives around the
corner On Verona street, and little Peter
puts IN his evenings at the store. All goes
well until Papa Kelley says, Peter, it is
time to go home" and Peter Immediately
goes on the rampage. few moments
later he goes home unier protest; also I'M
der his fathers arm, a bowling, writing,
wrigglng, twisting, screaming mass Of
hands, arms, legs, feet aud head.
When the old gentleman informs his
offspring that 1t is time to start that Obs,rep-
erous infant throws himself fiat on his back
in the middle of the floor and turns his
yelp works loose. This gives rise 10 tile
rumor that murder is being done at $40
Third street People on the way to catch
train have been known to leap from
streetcar, rust into the store shouting muir
der at every jump, and impl0re Kelley TO
spare the poor chd's life, while bowling
mob gathers about the door.
AS soon as the situation Is explained the
lfe-sayers sadly depart, and Peter starts
for home. The old man gathers him up as
he would ham, tuckS him under his arm,
and the procession moves of down the
middle of the street Never for moment
does Peter ceaSs 10 protest against the pro-
ceeding, He kicks and screecheS, digs the
author of his being IN the ribs with his
heels, and tries to drag great handsfuls OF
whiskers out by the roots. All this time
Keley's boy Peter is going home
The first yelp as the procession leaves the
store is signal for all the dogs in the
Hor To ont md iait, in tka
chorus. Pollparrots from their cages on
the balconies lift up their rasping voices
and bid Peter cheerful good night. Other
small boys, who have had better luck with
their parents, stand on the edge of the side
walk as Peter goes by 10 cheer him on the
way, and mothers from windows on either
side of the street point out Peter to their
own little ones as q horrible example Of
dis0bedence
When Peter has been safely deposited in
his little bunk the father returns to the
store and resumes his regular business. He
does not believe in corporal punishment
aud never chastiSes the youngSteT, no mat
ter what he does or how loud he hOWls
Moral suasion is his motto, and with 1t he
hopes TO some day subdue Peter, but the
neighbors think that muZzle would be
about the proper raper for Peter. Spanking
might do some good but for quick returns
mnZzle has no equal in cases OF this kind.
An evening seldom passes without the in
habtants being treated to the imposing
spectacle of Peter on his way home. They
have grown accustomed to look forward to
it, and are disappointed if Peter does not
perform. They employ it ne an incident in
referring TO events, the same as the big wind
in Ireland, and speak IF an occurrence as
taking place 1.-TWO weeks ago last Saturday,
shortly before Kelley's boy went home"
Kelley senior is quite a character and is
known far and wide as "Slide." All
small boy need do to get the gentleman ex-
cited is to walk by the door. shuttle his feet
and yell Slide" Kelley Immediately slides
out, like his illustrious nameSake of Boston,
after the urchins who easily escapes. The
boys tormented him until one day he went
to the police station and entered a COM
plant. He said the boys begged, nav even
implored him. to slide. aud wound up his
complaint by asking what he should do in
the premises.
why in thunder don't you slde?" replied
the sergeant in charge.
Kelley went home at once, but whether or
not he slid could not be learned. The way
he acquired his name was by causing the ar
rest Of boy who stood in front of the door
playing "Slide, Kelly, Slide" on a mouth
organ.