The morning call., 1892-12-12
MAKES HIM TIRED.
MIR. r1cFann Doesn't Like
Football.
NO THRILLS IN THE GATE.
1t Is the Muffied Punk of the Foul Tip
That Fills His Soul With
Joy.

gated 10 the rear rank Of outdoor sports,
much TO the disgust of the patrons OF the
national pastime.
Football may do for people with high
foreheads, but it does not reach the right
spot in the bosom of the rabid crank who
has grown round-shOuldered from sitting on
the bleachers.
He goes ia more for science and less for
compound fractures than do the alumni,
and an abortive kick at large leather ball
causes him excessive fatigue.
But the game of kicks and tackle is on
top and the baseball crank refuses TO be
cOmforted. He misses the sharp swish of
the skyscraper and the muffled PUNK of the
foul tip as it sinks to rest beneath the
padded thumbs of the baekstop.
Il wouldn't 60 to see a football game If
they passed me in for nothing said MIR.
McFann, who talks baseball daytmes and
dreams OF It at night.
What is there 10 il but a bowling crowd
of barehegded men knocking each other
down and taking turns in falling on top.
Do they call that sport? | don't. One
game is all / ever saw, and il reminded me
more OF the description Of a bread riot in
Europe than anything else l know Of.
According 20 my notion baseball is the
only game in this country. There may be
others. but they have not been reported To
me yet. sport with thrills in 1t instead
Of pain is what catches the POPULAR fancy,
but from what l can understand q man
must have a diploma before he can discern
the manifold beauties in q game Of football
That must be what ais ME. / wasn't there
when the diplomas were handed round.
LAS rule the baseball player has no alma
mater TO which ne can refer with PRIDE
when the occasion requires. but ne does not
pull an arm out of an intimate friend and
knock him down with the big eni of il
while his adherents blow large unhOrns and
Otherwise express their appreciation. Slid
ing head first int second base and the sharp
steel spikes OF tie gentleman on guard there
Is much more exciting and less injurious.
In The football game ! saw two men
play the introductory overture by dropping
the ball 10 the middle Of the lot, grabbing
each other and kicking right and left. They
kept this up I'll! one gave in, and the sur
geOn carried him away to set his legs.
In the meantime wild-eyed youth with
streaming hair got the bali under ole arm
and ran off with it. The others dashed after
him. spurred on by the commands Of their
captain 10 knock him down.
Sometimes he escaped from the mob
with his clothes partly torn off and touched
the ground with the ball amid general re-
1olclng. At times, however, the other side
succeeded 10 knocking his foundations out,
and then they fell on him and stabbed him
in the back with their knees and elbows.
That may be sport but | could rot grow
enthusiastic Dot even hilarious. II ad they
killed man l could not have taken of my
hat and cheered.
"They tell me that running for a touch
down IS the supreme moment in a game of
football. From the accounts in the papers
next dag, l must have been there when sew
eral OF these supreme moments were Hitting
through my lie. but did net realize what
was enjoying. II must be because am too
dense.
But cllmaxes in ball games do not get
away from me, and there are twenty Of
them to one in the other sport
Give NE tied score n the last inning
with two hands out, the bases fun and a
hard hitter az bat. That is a situation that
makes The spectators get up and SIT in the
air.
You may be a stranger in town aud have
no local interest in either team. but if you
are an enthusiast this is one Of the times
when you Will forget TO breathe. Scrim-
mageS end-tackles and fullbacks, with
broken backs aud skulls. are not IN the game
al all.
an a touchdown all the interest centers
in one mantle one with the bal-and if
somebody breaks his neck the spell is also
broken. But take this baseball situation
with the sacks tull and Two men out
AS the Datsman steps up TO tie plate he
knows that the eyes of the multitude are
upon him and hi uniform grows tight across
the chest. If he has been in the habit oil
hitting home runs or three baggeTs, the pop
ulaee cheer him, TO which he modestly re-
wlping bis nose with the back Of the other.
In selecting bat he takes I'D one, two,
three, four in turn from the pile in front of
the bench, carefully examines the handle of
each and taps the big end on the ground 10
see that IL is not broken. Great interest is
centered n him while doing this act, after
which he takes up his own private bat. 1t
Is the one lie has used tor years and he would
handle no other. He could pick IL from the
pile with his eyes shut, bur he wants time
TO collect his thoughts.
Arriving at the plate be holds the bat
between bis knees while he moiStenS hls
palms with spittle. Next be stO0ps over
and pats his hands IN the dust. the moisture
causing The dirt 10 adhere until be can rub
1t of on his clothes. Then he grasps the
bat firmly, digs fo0tbOlds for himself with
his spiked shoes, wriggles his legs back and
forth a few times and chances at the
pitcher, who holds the ball in his armpit
while he bitches up his trousers.
"At this critical juncture the infelders
all draw little closer, eXpeetorate on their
hands and place them on their knees
while the outhelders shift about In obedi-
enee 10 mysterious mods from the man in the
box.
while this is going on She catcher takes
few steps TO the left, removes his mask
and puts 1t on again. expectorates some
dark brown juice into his big glove and hits
1t with his list, after which he tighteDs up
his air package.
Then he circles round into position be-
bind the batsman. squats down, places his
hands alongside Of his face ana gives the
pitcher signal with his tongue, to which
the twir.er replies according 20 the code.
III the meantime the spectators have
been wrought up 10 a high state OF excite
ment and tue batsman has been prodigal
In his use of saliva. Tie pitcher now
reaches into his mouth for some moisture,
part OF which he rubs on the ball and the
rest on himself.
"W bile thus engaged he watches the
base-runners out OF the corners Of his eyes,
ever and anon reaching for more moisture.
He then prepares to pitch, but while he has
one leg in the air aud is bringing on the
rest OF the CONFUSION the catcher suddenly
his partner. So he crawls out from behind
the batsman, walks down to the pitcher and
whispers to him. This aunoys the spec
tators ard disturbs the batsman. but il is all
In the game.
"Can you show me anything in football
that is equal to this in dramatic intensity?
Hardly, and that is where baseball endears
itself In the hearts of the American people.
''Once more they fall into position The
pitcher pitches aud the batsman bats
Sometimes he bits the ball and wins the
game, but more often he pounds the anti
ent air, and the contest is prolonged until
darkness falls upon the earth.
Even with this ending the sport is SUI
periOr 10 the spectacle of herd of perform
Ing maniacs tearing up the soil with their
knees and noses. Football may be the re-
fnement OF outdoor athletics, but il makes
me tired. Baseball is what we want"