The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-01-05
Mr.. AND MRs. BoWsgR.


Mrs. Bcwser to Blame as Usual.
What have you got there'" queried Mrs
Bowser, as her liege lord made display O.
small package when he came home TIL
other evening
Mrs. Bowser," he replied, did you reai
Of that case in Troy where barber cut 2
customer slightly on the cheek and he diec
OF blood poisoning?"
NO. Say, you've gone and got another
shaving OUTFIT
Another When did ever have one 50
''You got one two or three years ago IL
Detroit, and how did you come out with it:
Mr.. Bowser, you do the most foolish things
OF any man | ever heard of in all my Iifer'
Il do, eb2 Is it foolish for me to want to
avoid blood poisoning by shaving myself
TO say nothing of the enormous saving OF
money? Yes, l did get an outfit in De
t-oit, but l had boil on my arm and
couldn't handle the razor"
And you cut yourself and pranced
around and whooped until the neighbors
thought we had fire How much did
this outfit cost"
Only ten dollars"
Ten dollars throzyn right away"
is It? Let's see about that Having
my own outfit | can shave daily That s
30 cents week, or s.. so per month. Seems
10 me that S34 per year is worth saving In
the twenty years / have been shaving [
could have saved the trifle of $3.50. Where
are you now, Mrs. Bowser?"
Just where was before. You'll shava
once and that'll end it. "
viii it? If that's your opinion have n
great surprise in store for You. I've been
taking lessons Of 4 barber on how to handls
the razor and can shave clean in exactly
four minutes. Easiest thing in the world
when you know how Just think CT the
$3.50 have thrown away"
We'll, | suppose you'll Il try it in spite of
anything that can say, but shall decline
20 be held responsible for any trouble"
Responsible! Trouble! How could
hold you responsible? And what trouble
can there be2'
why, that time in Detroit you almost
tore the house down because you cut your
ear"
Pooh! was probably joking. Don't
remember thing about it,"
After dinner Mr.. Bowser took a bowl Of
hot water and started up stairs, saying TO
Mrs. Bowser as he went:
Better time me by the clock. | may he
six or seven minutes this time, but I'll be
right on tick tomorrow night"
Let's seep' he unused as he opened til
box and stood before the glass THE first
thing is to lather, of course. That's as easy
HIS rolling off log. This is something like
comfort, this Is Hanged if | don't believe
! shall want 10 shave twice day"
Mr.. Bowser decided TO put on plenty OF
lather. He put it on his chin, cheeks, nose,
forehead, ears and throat, and more or less
fell on the carpet. When he had lathere;.
until both arms ached, and no more would
stick to him, be picked up the razor and
chuckled:
Il Just hold it with three fingers, this
way and lay it on my cheek this way, and
move it gently down A child three years
old could do that III show Mrs Bowser
Il trick or two before I'm through. Good
woman. but she thinks she knows it all
Razor Just Sides
Mr.. Bowser gave jump and at the same
instant he saw the lather stained with
blood.
Don't amount to anything-just the
head of a pimpler' he whispered to him
self. Barber told me TO keep my arm
stiff, and forgot. Can't expect to get the
hang of it in one minute, you know. \
little more lather"
He Iathered away until it began to drop
OF. and then picked up the razor again.
Mr. Bowser, what's the matter?" called
Mrs. Bowser as she kicked on the door.
Nothing" be answered
Then what are you jumping around so
for? | thought you'd shake the chande-
liers down"
The blamed thing must have slipped on
me- he Crowled as he returned tothe glass
TO survey the cut. Probably didn't hold
It exactly right. Ali that's more like the
way the barber told me to hold it. Now,
then, take it easy till you get the hang OF
it. May be ten minutes this time, but on
the next occasion rip
Mr. Bowser, open this door," called
Mrs. Bowser from the hall
w what do you w-want?" he gasped.
Il want to know what all this swearing
and kicking over the chairs meansl Didn't
tell you how you would come outF'
You go awayl I'm all right 1t was
the man next door you heardn
Mrs. Bowser heard yell and started for
the stairs. She met Mr. Bowser half way
mp. The lather was flying about and the
blood streamed down Gu his shirt bosom,
and his eyes were as big a. onions.
Well, didn't say so2" she demanded.
Her words brought Mr. Bowser to him
self. He turned back, beckoned TO her 10
follow and as they entered the bedroom he
silently pointed The razor lay on the floor,
the bowl was broken in three pieces and
there was lather everywhere
"Well2' she inquired, as she picked up
three towels and placed two chairs on their
legs again
Woman he hoarsely whispered, ''this
is too much"
Why, what have dOnes'
Sure Done Look at me-
Yes, but you tried to shave yourself,
But who dragged me into iUs'
Mr. Bewser, YOU certainly can't blame
me- | told you before you
That's enough, This i the limit!
understand it all, and can see Just how YOU
planned i. II i not your fault that did
not cut MY throat ana thai you are not
now widow, Mrs. Bowser, leave me 10
myself have some papers TO look over
before consulting a lawyer tomorrow -
NJ Quad il New York World
Lesson from the RacehOrse.
A horse Is never much bothered with
flies when he Is on the dead run. You
have seen q mule on the walk stop TO
l-;,1- ms sides MIR Won Ftay-a ,,s,-ar Saa,, .