Passaic City record., 1892-12-24
PITH AND POINT.

| PITH AND POINT. :
Perhaps it was the bearded lady who
said my face is my fortune. - Wash
ington Star.
THAT is growing evil, remarked
| Huntingdon, as the taby next door be-
| gan to howl. Truth.
| The oc,llist and the dentist are always
ready to furnish an eye for an eye and 4
| tooth for tooth. Truth.
A thief is generally distant in his man.
mer if he suspects an officer is after him.
-Binghamton Republican.
It is quite possible for folks to shine
intellectually without being light
headed. Philadelphia Times.
~ appear to have my wits about me, ?
said the comic editor, as his contrlbu-
tors 1ocked in upon him. Truth.
The comet can't expect to be well re-
ceived by the earth when there is sucn
shocking tail going round about it.
Chicago Inter. Ocean.
Commercial travellers support two
thirds of the country hotels, to say moth
ing Of instructing the proprietors how to
manage them. Hotel Mail
Mrs. Cumso--"You ought to have
seen Willie Whiffets tear up the street.
Cumso--s4I think he ought to be made
to Put it down again. Judge.
Weary Watkins-ssI've got sich pain
in me stummick." Hungry Higgins
ssYoure in luck. I hain't even got that
in mine. Indianapolis Journal.
Perhaps the strongest advocate OF an
extra session is the young man whose
best girls parents hold him down to one
call per week. Washington Post.
Maude-"Why do you associate with
that odious Miss Friztop2" Genevieve
Ssh: Miss Friztop is the sister Of
four brothers. ''--C Chicago News Record.
IA penny for your thoughts, my love-
He said in coaxing tone.
eIt seems an awful swindie, dear.
For they're of you, I'll own.
Chicago Inter-O Ocean.
Perthshire Missionary (to poor and
motherless boy-"But why is your
father not steady?'' Boy (redectlvely)-
"Cause he's got wudden leg. Dundee
Courier.
ssPapa." asked the small boy. "what
is dignitya' Dignity, my son, re-
piled the father, ssconsists principally Of
a tall hat and frock coat. Buffalo
Express.
Our gardener would make good vii
lain in melodrama. y "Why so2'
ssBecause he is always laying out plots
that amount to nothing in the end. -
Boston Gazette.
Bob (who has been reading a sea story
--s.I wonder what minute gun is,
Tom2 Do you knowi" Tom Yes,
of course; one that'll shoot like sixty"
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Triend-.sIt seems to me that have
seen something like that before. What
is that painting after9" Impecunious
Artist-ssAt present it is after pur-
chaser. Harvard Lampoon.
Foreigner (walking through the Pub
lie Garden )-ssWhat odd pieces of stat
uary you have in America!" American
--ssWhy, those are not statuary; they
are workmen. Harvard Lampoon.
Little Tommy -"What is that man
cutting the trees for, papaan Tommy's
Papa -ssHe is pruning them, my boy"
Little Tommy How soon will the
prunes be ripea'- Philadelphia Record.
The Professor (sententiously g The
dread OF thunder storm is one of the
most deeprooted weaknesses Of mankind.
It is chiefly observable among old women
of both sexes. y -Humoristische Blaetter-
All moist and cold he soon will be
As comfortless as he can be,
But with calm delight he'll grin -
He showed the boys that ice was thin.
Washington Scar.
Mrs. Ann-"I ordered dress pattern
here yesterday, to be sent. ! wonder if
it has been cut yet?" Floor Walker
"Certainly not, madam. Tie salesman
said you hadn't been in yet to change
your mind. /" st. Louis Republic.
N. Peck-.Td have you know,
madam, that have as much right to
ventilste my opinions as you have.
Mrs. Peck "But, my dear, your opin-
ions don't need ventilating. They're all
wind, anyway. indianapolis Journal.
Husband Crritably) -.sCan't you re-
member where l said left my glasses at
breakfast this morninga" Wife-ssl'm
sorry, dear, really can't" Husband
(peevishly) -"That just shows the for
getfulness Of you women. =" Harvard
Lampoon.