The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-12-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A put-up job-Pickles. Puck.
The stock exchange-A horse trade. -
Washington Star.
A cereal tale-The story of a wheat
deal.-New York Journal
A very hungry person never relishes
cold facts.-Shicago News.
Bread cast upon the water is supposed
to be in soak.-Dallas News.
Some men are insulted by money, aud
others pocket the insult truth.
1t rather puts a belle on her mettlc
when she is extolled. d.-Statesmau
The scarecrow has its uses, though it
doesn't aid the caws any.-Elmira Ga
zette.
A popularity OF certain cranks is that
they can't be turned Philadelphia
Times.
1t looks as If Yale's Greek letter socie-
ties were destined to be trauslated.-
Boston Herald.
The coming man will probably walk
on one foot and KICK with the other.-
Elnira Gazette.
Unyielding self-possession prevents
many man from giving himself away.
-Elmira Gazette.
The fortunes of war seem to be accu-
mulated principally by the gun makers.
Washington Star.
When barber talks too much his
stories are generally illustrated with
cuts.-Texas Siftings.
Unhagging interest has made many
fortune and wrecked many a railroad
train.-Rlmira Gazette.
Oh, hail election day AMI give
The gratitude we owe it.
1t finishes the labor of
The eager campaign poet.
-Washinytoc Star.
"He is an artist by profession" 81
know that; but what is he by Occupa-
tionp-Washington Star.
Flamme-"What do you do to cure
the blues4" Flamme -"Paint every
thing red. brooklyn Life.
"All men have their ups and downs"
"Yes, even the tallest OF us get short at
times. ."-Philadelphia Record.
''He has high idea of lrt, think"
al should say so. He wants $4,000 for
picture. " Washington Star.
= ''Isn't it funny that a lady can cut a
gentleman dead without fear of being
arrested, ,"-Philadelphia Record.
Always credit wise man with what
he does not say, and charge the FOOLS
words up to him-Galvestou News.
"Do you fear q depression in business
as the result of the electionl" "No, sir;
am halter. Washington Star.
"There is always room at the top"
but you had better carry up with you n
big basket of victuals. News.
Little drops of water
Brought with dynamite
Are not compensation
For sleepess night
Washington Star.
What does it profit man to drink to
drive away troublel He simply ex.
changes one load for another.-States'
man.
The baggageman has big contract on
his hands when he undertakes to check
the cry of a baby on his train.-States-
man.
On her cheeks there were roses, roses,
But now, alas! they're not there,
The gaslight but dimly discloses
They rubbed of on the parlor arm chair.
-Chicaso News Record.
Mrs. Bridie-"How much is your in.
come, Charlel" Mr.. Bridie-''You
ought to know, you spend it all my
dear. brooklyn Life.
"Well, never got off anything that
tickled me more than that remarked
the dog as he flicked the flea from his
left ear.-ElmirG Gazette.
Bertie-"Why did you buy this pic
turel 1t is only a flight of sparrows."
Algie-"Wny, they are very English,
don't you know, deah boy."-Inter.
Ocean.
Women appear to have a decided ad-
vantage over men in literary pursuit in
the fact that long hair is simply a nor
NAL circumstance with them. Washing
ton Star.
Lady Friend TO Mrs. Newlywedl-
swell, how do you like your flN3' Mrs.
NtNlg Wtu-'' W ulGl 90 you mean tue
one l married or the one live iu2"-
Tit-Bits.
Eacl morn sanity resolution strong,
He feels within him rise.
Each eve ere miduight strikes her gong
That resolution dies.
Chicago News Record.
This is the way she wound up her let
ter: p. S.--If this letter never reaches
you, you will know that it is not my
fault, as l shall give it to my husband TO
mail.-Minueapolis Journal.
ais football gambling gamer"
Rusher-"Well, Dodger lost S25 in
gold yesterday" "Nhy didn't he
leave il A. homt2' "Ie couldn't; it
was in his teeth Inter Ocean.
Mrs. schuyleyaut-"NIy son is a regu.
lar Bohemian" Mrs. Harlem Phats--
"Oh, plhaw, now don't be putin on.
You know he was born right here in
New York. Chicago News Record,