The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-01-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Bonoy men are not easily rattled.-
Columbus Post.
The rain.malserS ought not to be dis
oouraged. Their aim is high.-Roches-
ter Post Express.
Only eleven per cent. of flowers emita
perfume. The other eighty-nine per
cent. omit perfume.-Binghamtoa Re-
publican.
Chinese doctors make reduction in
their charges when tho patient is old. It
doesn't take so much medicine to kill
Tepas Siftings.
"Who goeth a.borrowing goeth a.sor-
rowing;" but he Is in a cheerful state of
mind compared with the man who goeth
a-lending.-Puck.
Demosthenes put pebbles in his mouth
to cure his defective uterance, Even to
this day people find it difficult job to
speak Greek.-Puck.
We have noticed that the cheaper the
trousers u young man has on, the more
fur he puts on the collar and cuffs of his
decentralization Globe.
Hackett -"How is your wife getting
on with her dress-reform movements"
Sunsette-" She has two new
dressmakers. - Cloak Rtoiet0.
It is not until man goes on quest
for hired girl that he fully appreciates
the immense proportions OF the woman
question. Baltimore american.
1t may be true that some are not as
black as they are painted, and it's equal
ly fact that Others are not as white as
they are ashed.-PhiladelphiG
Times.
$50 your son has been starr ing as en-
actor, Mr.. Cashcounter9" eyes" "Do
tell me all about him. Who is sup
porting hima' "I am. ."-Baltim0re
american.
Hogan-'I have known McGinnis for
for-r-ty-fve years" Grogan-"An'
sure, SO have l." "Ah, get out wild vel
He's no ninety years old at all. "-Iadi-
annapolis Journal.
History repeats itself; and so long as
fellows can make money by writing new
lives of people who are too dead to kick
their biographers we may expect to SEQ
the histories repeated
Topples-"Therc goes fellow who
tackles the high sea for living" Van
Cure-"He don't look like seafaring
man, does he9" Topples-"Ho ain'ti
he is a crack tenor. ."-ByOoblyfs, Citizen.
"In your essay" said the pretty
schoolma'am to Freddy Gaswell, "yc u
say the horse has six legs. How do yo,..
make that out9" "He has fore .sEg in
front and two behind" excIstRhed
Freddy. Pittsburgh Chronielss
Miss Tomax-"Oh, yoa.Sre such bad
boy. What shall do with you il you
don't mindp Freddy-''Do what Mr..
Van Jay did to sister. He said he would
kiss her if she didn't mind, and guess
she didn't, for he kissed her. "-Bf0oklyH
Citizen.
Conductor ION north side earette)-
WTree cents more, mum, for dc kid"
Lady-"Three centsl Why, they don't
charge me anything for this boy on the
cable road.n Conductor-"Well, dc
cable don't eat oatsl Seel"-O Chicago
Tribune.
Timmins-"Er-is Laura Figg a girl
of any educationl" Simmons-'I sup
pose so. Whyp Timmins--"O
caught her looking into a volume of my
poems, you know, and she remarked that
she was "conning the fancies of my inn
aginary brain. .n-IadiaRaDolH Journal.
Sam to understand" said the young
man, bitterly, as he arose to 60, "that all
is over between usl" IL am afraid that
is the case" she said, calmly, q slight
tone of Jersey City hauteur observable in
her voice. 'Then, he answered, briskly,
reaching for his hat, "you have told mo
at just the right moment. have ordered
new winter overcoat, and will Just
have time TO oountermand those pockets
under tho arms. "-O OlotAier and Fur
Rish6r.
Rodney Bates is a sportsman of moro
enthusiasm than experience. he had
good luck one day last summer while
fishing up in the Maine woods, and his
Joy overhowed in telegram to his wife
like this; "I've got one. Weighs seven
pounds and is a beauty" In reply came
the following, signed by Mrs. Bates;
$50 have l. Weighs ten pounds. He
isn't beauty. Looks like YOU" Il
was more than ten words, ba,
forQaye her. Botfon fosf