davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
Stauntotl Spectator.
RATES CT ADVERTISING.

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Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Boggs-The members of DR.. Firstiy's
choir seem to be always saying dis
agreeable things about each other.
Foggs-Anything more than the
usual wrangle?
Boggs-They have got so bad that
they can't sing note without slurring
it
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

The old beau (rocking little Anna on
his knee for Aunt Susan's sake)-I sup
pose this is what you like, Anna? An
na-Yes; its very nice. But / rode on
real donkey in the park yesterday
mean one with four legs, you know
IeIas SiftingS.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
Piles! Piles! Itching Piles.

SYMPToMs-M Moisture; intense itching and
stinging; most at night; worse by scratching
If allowed to continue tumOrs form, which Of
ten bleed and ulcerate, becoming very sore
SwAYNE's OINTMENT stops the itching and
bleeding, heals liberation, and in most cases
removes the tumors. At druggists, or by mail
for 80 cents DR.. Swayne & Son, Philadelphia
feb 10-1yr '92
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

CURE FOR CROUP.-Use DIR. Thomas
Eclectric Oil according to directions
1t is the best remedy for all sudden at
tacks of colds, pain and Inflammation,
and injuries.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

There is nothing like DR.. Thomas
Eclectric Oil to quickly cure cold or
relieve hoarseness. Written by Mrs.
NJ. J. Fellows, Burr Oak, st. Joseph
Co., Mich.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Jinks-I suppose you've gotten over
enclosing kisses in letters to your wife
Filkins-Yes, except when send a
remittance. In that case l give the
cheek goodby kiss.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

''It's sad to think" said Brobson,
''that she, so young, should be dead to
the world ~
Yes replied Craik, particularly
when she is so very much alive to the
flesh and the DEVIL
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Ethel latter protracted silence)-
How should you like to be an ossified
man?
Stalate-Do you think l am in any
danger of being one?
EthelECouldn't say; my watch has
run down.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Mary" called the husband upstairs,
'why don't you come down. Haven't
you finished your letter yet?"
Il finished the letter a good while
ago.
What keeps you up there so long
them"
II am writing the postscript
Gracious me-! Have l got to stay
here and mind this baby two hours
; longer?''
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

DIR. Woods Norway Pine Syrup was
used for years as prescription by a
successful physician. 1t is in all re-
spects the hest cough medicine made
to-day. Sold by all dealers on a guar
antee of satisfaction.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
DIRECTORY OF LODGES.
MASONIC LODGE.

Staunton Lodge No. 13, A. +. and A. NJ, meets
every second and last Friday night in each
month, in Masonic Temple, Main street. Jas.
NJ. Lickliter, W. NJ; b. A. EsTidge, Sec'y.
UNION ROYAL ARCH CHAPTER.
No. 2, meets third Friday in every month, in
Masonic Temple, on Main street. W. W. Nc
Gufin, High Priest; A. A. Eskridge, Sec'y.
ODD FELLOWS LODGE.
Staunton Lodge, No 45, I. o. o. F. meets ev
cry Thursday night in Odd Fellows Hall, over
wayt's drug store, on Main street. John C.
Fretwell, Noble Grand; C. A. Grafton, Sec'y.
KNIGHTS OF HONOR LODGE.
Staunton Lodge, No. 756, Knights of Honor,
meets every first and third Tuesday in each
month, in Pythian Hall, Main street. W. L.
Olivier, Dictator; w. A. Burnett, Recorder.
MOUNTAIN CITY LODGE.
No. 49, I. o. G. T., meets every Friday night
in their lodge room over Wayt's drug store, on
Main street. Jas. Blackburn, Chief Templar;
F: B. Kennedy, Sec'y.
DISTRICT LODGE.
No. %, I. o. G. T., meets every three months
J. W. Campbell, D. C. T.; Geo. H. Baker, Dis
trict Secretary.
ROYAL ARCANUM.
Augusta Council, No. 49O, Royal Arcanum,
meets every second and fourth Tuesday in the
month, at Pythian Hall, Main street. w. W.
Robertson, Regent; Jos. B. Woodward, Sec
retary.
SONS OF TEMPERANCE.
Charity Division, NJ. A., Sons of Temperance,
meets every Monday night at Odd Fellows
Hall. W. A. Rapp, Worthy Patriarch; John
B. Coffelt, Sec'y.
UNIFORMED RANK, KNIGHTS OF
PYTHIAS.
J. E. b. Stuart Division, No. 10, meets second
and fourth Mondays each month at Pythian
Hall. Sir Knight Captain, F. b. Berkley; Sir
Knight Recorder, s. III. Rosenbaum.
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS.
Valley Lodge, No. Is, X of p, meets every
Monday night at Castle Hall, on West Main
street, over DR.. Wayt's drug store. J. T. Long
Chancellor Commander; Albest Shultz, Keep
er of Records and Seal.
KNIGHT TEMPLARS.
Staunton Commandery, No. s, knights Tenn
plar, meets first Friday night in every month
in Masonic Temple, on Main street. W. B
McChesney, Eminent Commander; A. A. Esk-
ridge, Recorder.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

George" said she, Nesting fondly in
his arms, ''are you protectionist ?"
Eyes, darling" he whispered, "but
also believe in reciprocity won't you
trade kisses ?''
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Mrs. Breezey- You said | was your
life before we were married
Mr.. Breezey-Yes, and l took you,
didn't /? If that wasn't clear case of
suicide | don't know what is
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

May-Its all nonsense to talk about
jealousy being heritage of Adam.
Frank-Why?
May-Because Adam had no one to
be jealous of.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

''I'm that Internally unlucky," said
Bedecker, ''that I've no doubt if
were to go to sheol and ask to enter, /
couldn't get in to save my soul "
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
REMOVAL OF THE LADIES AND GENTLEMENS s
RESTAURANT!

The undersigned have removed their Ladies
and Gentlemens Restaurant to the Hurley
Building the corner of Main and Lewis
reets, where they hope their old patrons will
call upon them as heretofore they will be
better prepared to accommodate them. They
will take regular boarderS, to a number OF
whom they can furnish lodging or rent rooms
as well as board at cheap rates. Remember
the place-Hurley Building, second story
corner Main and Lewis Streets.
MARGARET & LUCY CAUTHORN.
fol 2rd
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

EI1e HjGsD Asttfc<Ey III
i'll this world, says j. Hofherr OF Syracuse, T.,
is Pastor Koenigs Nerve Tonic because my son,
who was partially paralyzed three years ago and
sttacled by fits, has not had any symptoms OF
hem since he took ore bottle of the remedy.
nost heartily thank for it.
gervGsRs AsrOSfgatiGns SaecpGess-
ness ANA Weakness.
WEST BRouGHToN, Quebec, Oct. l, 30.
IhsPastor Koenig's Nerve Tonic ordered wes
young Ia ly OF my hous lold who as al
lost use less to herself and o,hers, owing to
lrvous lrostration, sleepiessncss, weakness,
o. &c. Today there is quite @ change. The
.ouig person is much better, stronger. and les
Il rvous. she viii continue TO use your nledi
ire. 1 think it is very good.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Though people are all the time rails
ing sheol, it still continues to be the
lowest place known.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

1t is rumored in the City of Mexico
that war between Guatemala and San
Salvador has commenced.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

HE Missed his Opportunity! DON'T Miss
ss6 Yours, Reader. The majority neglect their op
portunes and from that cause live in and die in
obscurity Narrowing despair is the lot of many they
look back lost lost opportunity Life is pass
ing Reach out Be and doing Improve your opportu
nifty and prosperity prominence peace 1t was said
by philosopher that the Goddess of Fortune offers
golden opportunity each person at period Of life
embrace the chance and she out her rches fail to do
and sine departs. to return" How shall you find
the GOLDEN opportunity Investigate every chance that
appears worthy and of fair promse that is what all
cess men do Here opportunity such is not often
within the reach laborng people Improved it will give
a least grand start in life The GOLDEN opportunity for
is here Money to be made rapidly and honorably
by any person of either SEX All ages You can
do the work and live at home wherever Even be-
gnners easily earning from So to SO per day. You
do we'll if you will work. not too hard but ndust
ously and can increase your income You
give time only all ypur time to the work Easy
TO learn Capital not required We you. Allis
raratvey and really wonderful. We instruct aud
show you how. free. Failure unknown among our work
er No room to explain here Write and learn all free
bs mail Unwse to delay. Address at once. IL
iiaIiett q Coz Box $50 Portland. Maine
decl6 81 Iy,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16


Staunton Commandery, No. s, Knights Tenn
plar, meets first Friday night in every month,
in Masonic Temple on Main street. W. B..
McChesney, Eminent Commander; A. A. Esk-
ridge, Recorder
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS.

Valley Lodge, No. Is, X. Of p, meets every
Monday night at Castle Hall, on West Main
street. over DR.. Wayt's drug store. J. T. Long
Chancellor Commander; Albest Shultz, Keep
er Of Records and Seal.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
UNIFORMED RANK, KNIGHTS OF


J. E. B. Stuart Division, No. TO- meets second
and fourth Mondays each month at Pythian
Hall. Sir Knight Captain, F. b. Berkley; Sir
Knight Recorder, S. II. Rosenbaum.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

WINFIELD LIGGETT, H. V. STSAYER, C. NJ. KEEZEL.
HarriSonburg. Harrisonburg. StauntOn
T IGGETT, STRAYER & KEEZEL,
IL ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
STAUNTON, VA.
Prompt and efficient attention given to all
business given to their care. Strayer Lig-
gett will continue the practice of law at Har-
riSonburg, as heretofore.
s8+ Office in County building, over Treasur-
erS ONCE.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Charity Division, NJ. A., Sons of Temperance
meets every Monday night at Odd Fellows
Hall. W. A. Rapp, Worthy Patriarch; JOIN
B. Coffelt, Sec'y.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16

Augusta Council, No. 490, Royal Arcanum
meets every second and fourth Tuesday in th
month, at Pythian Hall, Main street. w. W
Robertson, Regent; Jos. b. Woodward, Sec
retary.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
Our Merchant Tailoring
Department

Is stocked with the best productions of cloth
the European and American markets afford.
All suits measured to order are warranted to
fit, or no sale. We also make dress shirts to
order. If you want the best, this is your
chance.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-04-17

bad his basket been forgotten. for good
Mrs. Jones had filled il with potatoes and
apples and other things that would come
handy.
"CoaIey's got q good home" said the old
man in a meditative way. as he looked
over the articles in the basket, AN Pill
have TO VISIT dem Jones's chillen often to
Where on earth did you get that dogf7
inquired Mr.. Jones as be stepped into the
house that evening.
Mrs. Jones explained that the children
wanted q dog so much. and that Jasper
bad happened round with this one. and It
had such a kind disposition she thought it
would be good to- amuse the baby.
"Amuse the baby" exclaimed the head OF
fbe household. do you know that's a
white bull terrier. and he'll sooner fight
than eatf'
"Cncle Jasper said he would make n good
Watchdog" SAID Mrs. Jones.
The new-comer soon made himself agree
able TO the entire household. with the ex-
ception of Miss Angy. The baby could
pull his tall or do any thing with him. and
though the dog would sometimes show his
teeth when his ragged ear was handled
roughly. he really proved 10 be as kind
and tender to the children as Uncle Jasper
declared he would be.
True, on three or folr occasions, when
Mr.. Jenkins camc in the evening TO visit
Miss Angy IL required the persuasion of the
entire household 10 induce him 10 admit
that young man through the front gate. but
this watchfulness added 10 rather than de-
traetod from his merit in the eyes of every
one except Angelina. and perhaps Mr.. Jen-
kins.
In the meantime Mr.. Smith, who lived
next door. had procured a dog for his chill
= dren 10 play with. The opportunities of
the little Smiths. coupled with the assev-
Grafton OF Mrs. Smith that her children
were as good as the Joneses, and if they
had a dog her children should have one,
had produced its effect.
The dogs had made each others ac-
ouaiutance through the fence that divided
the possessions of their masters, and
were not favorably impressed. There was
n terrible din in the street one morning
while the Jones family was at breakfast.
Robbie ran out and then ran back 20 an
nonnce that the dogs were fighting, and
fhat Mr. smith was kicking CQaley.
Ihe report was too true. AS the scene
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-04-17
AT II CHURCHES.

Further Programmes for Easter Services To-
Day-FIetcher-Piace and So. Mary's.
The following programme will be rem
dered at the Easter services by the Fetch
e~r-place Sunday-school this afternoon. at
ESQ o'clock:
Opening song-No. ESyerybeeddy Sing
"Merriiy the Easter Bells Carol"
Mr.. II. A. wheeler's Glass
'Galilee" Mrs. Jessie Meek-Goth
or Christ Tin two parts) Miss Grace Poor
Happy Easter T~ime".Chorus
Trial. Death and Resurrection.)
"Easter Joy"-sweet Song of Redemption
SOloist-Miss Lille Adam
Chorus-Mr. L. Il. Hopkins's Class
Awake-The Song OF Jubilee. $500. Church Choir
s .Vlhor Shall Roll Away the stonei' MIS- o"ii0aeh
Miss Stella Smith
lift Thine Eyes" trio-Mrs. Ristner. Misses
Lucille and Minnie Loder.
"He Is Not Here, for He Is Risen"
The Missionary-Chorus,
Miss Bessie Browns Class
Miss Mary Marsee's Class
Legend of Eastereggs Master Charley johnson
Easter Lilies-Chorus.. Miss Sallie Marsee's Glass
Benediiion.. The superintendent.
A. NJ. GlOssbrenner
The programme for Easter at 81. Mary's
Church will be as follows:
At 10 O'Clock 4. II.
Vida Aquam.
Mass in Alex. Cradwell
Ofertory, Regina Cell Bollman
Nenl La Hache
At3 O'clock y. IL.
n. name
Magniticat. Mozart
o Saluiaris. Verdi
Tantum Rossi
This morning. at 1890. Mt Grace Cathedral.
there will be confirmation and sermon, aud
n handsome new communion service will
be consecrated. There will also be o chill
dren's festival ais J.. NJ.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-04-17
SENSE FUNERALS
Things the City Ministers Objected to
and Others That They Neglected.
Great Events in the Rural Distriets-Some Of
the lncongruities of Wearing Mourning
-Gas-Light on the Complexion.

A minister's time is every ones time but
his own. p~aradoxIcal as that may seem. He
must be ar the beck and call of any and
every member of the congregation over
which he presides. must listen to every tale
of woe. and be ready, night or day. TO
answer any which may come.
He is the last one consulted as to cOnven-
fence for any occasion when his services
may be commanded. If there Is to be q
wedding every other arrangements is made
before that with the minister. The cards
are ordered, and printed. and frequently
issued before the minister is asked to off,
ciate. and as for q funeral. the time Is set
and all other arrangements made. then the
preacher is informed what is expected of
him. Owing to the wishes OF the be-
reaved, possibly the deceased. the orders
for funerals are seldom alike. The
minister may be required to read
q Scripture lesson and offer q
prayer, or he may be desired
to picture merits and virtues which the
deceased never possessed. and make 1T so
touching and beautiful that if pat in print.
and not spoken over the remains. no one
would recognize the likeness. Ministers of
the souls and those of the bodies never
rave time to call their Own. They
may plan to spend q certain evening in
some certain way. If q preacher. there
may be almost any kind of u call for him.
and if q physician. some one is certain to
have O pain or an ache that needs lnlmedl-
ate attention.
The ministers in several cities have
drawn up some resolutions which are ex-
pected to revolntioDize the matter of
funerals. Those of Indianapolis have laid
down these rules;
Thar there be, ordinarily. no public invitation
to funerals.
That 10 funeral be held on Sunday when it is
possible to avoid 1t.
That attending friends view the remains, if at
all. as they enter, and that the casket be closed
Immediately upon the conclusion of the services.
That a service may be regarded as ordinarily
complete which consists OF the reading of Script
ure selections and prayer, and that 1t may be
properly concluded at the house.
That only such persons accompany the remains
to the grave. as may be personally requested to
do so.
That needless expense, whether of carriages,
flowers or other matters, be avoided.
That IL be remembered that Christian senti-
ment Is not in accord with the practice, TO which
some have felt constrained To conform, of adopt
ing heavy mourning costumes after the death of
friends.
That in arranging the time for funerals the
minister. as far as possible, be consulted.
E EVENTS IN II COUNTRY.
In country places q funeral is one of the
exciting and interesting events of the COM
munity. If tie weather is at all temperate
or warm the men all stay outside. and the
women fill the house. 1t is an occasion for
q half day Off. No invitations are necessary;
every one feels it a duty and q privilege to
attend. 1t Is also an excuse for the gath
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-04-17

the small Joneses. 1t was something at
tached to the thither end of q ~six-foot piece
of clothes-line-
"Ob. what a nice doggie: did you bring
him to mel" asked Bobble, aged ten.
Robert Jones'" said Mrs. j., severely.
'you shall not have any such looking dog
as that; there. now"
Hes q pow'ful fine dog: ma'am." said
Uncle Jasper, softly. "a powful fine dog"
'Oh. look at his carr exclaimed An
gelina; 1.-The horrid thing has been fight
ing ,rn.,. ,..n., .no,o-
getically, "he have had a leetle scrap wild q
mis'able big dog. what collahed him."
Which Iickedf' inquired Bobbie. with
great interest.
why. Robbiew exclaimed Miss Angeli-
ma. who belongs to the Society OF Christian
Endeavor.
Eyes. which lickedr' persisted Bobbie:
"Coaiey whopped him" said Uncle Jas
per, with his eyes TO the floor.
lis that his name. Uncle Jasperf"
Oats de name / done gin hun"
But this dog is white" said Miss An
gelina, determined TO find all manner of
objection to the animal.
"Yes. miss. dis dog is white. but / done
gone an name him after q monst'us fine
dog 1 owned down in Kaintucky."
You brought him for me, didn't you,
Uncle JasperF, asked Bobbie-
100 bot him fo' me-. didn' 90, Uncle
Ja'peri" lisped the baby.
"Where did you get the dog. Jasperfo in
CURED Mrs. Jones. with the tone and man
ner of a criminal lawyer.
tho floor. "I done got him of q man ovah
by de eanawl-a man wild sorrel whis-
kers. IL d. n les member his name. lie
was a-gwine way an said he like de dog to
have a good spectacle home. OATS how
j got him.
"Oh. ma. get Coaley for me; pa said I
might have n dog" pleaded Bobbie.
Not a horrid thing like that" said Miss
30 indeed" said Mrs. Jones, decidedly.
"B-o-o-b-o-o-o-o."
Robert Jones"
"B-o-o-o-h-O-o-o-o. Pa said i might have
dog"
send you o Newfoundland dog. the hand
soonest he can find"
Il don't want no Newfangled dog. l
want this one"
We'll. you can't have him; that settles
it."
"B-o-o-o-h-o-o-o."
"Robert Jones. shut up that squalling.
How much do You ask for hint"
Ma" said Angelina; "Why, ma. Pm as
''Never mind" said Mrs. Jones resuming
her Spartan tirmness. Never mind, we
don't want him."
Another and more prolonged howl from
Bobbie. .
BLESS you. missus." said Uncle Jasper,
IL d0an' ask you nuiin' TO- Coaley. All |
wants Is to get him a comfo'bIe homo. i
wants TO make him a. present to de chillen.
He's kind an tendsh wId chilieD, decd he
am. l. don ask muffin fo' Coaley ma'am. no
mann, but de ole woman done got a washIn'
an dey Amt no IL in de kitchen an /
thought you might vance me half q dollah
so could get o little jag 'er stove-w ood."
A few minutes later Uncle Jasper might
have been seen closing the Jones gate and
departing. . cheerful twinkle In his eyes
and O half-dollar in his pocket Neither