The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1892-05-29

/ men elDOW women, ana m iustinct VI boh-
preservation serves rs the universal excuse
When two mon meet, - they do very fire.
ouently. to trafHo on the sidewalk. the CONVEX
sstion 10 Incredibly laconic. Each wants to
sell the other something. Neither wants to
buy. It usually ends in An even swap" out
Of which no perceptible profit comes to either.
1t is worth while to listen TO some OF these
open air hucksterings. The reciprocal trade
is strictly in potentialitics They are trying
to stick" each other not with palpabie and
material comm Oddities. but with schemes and
options and big chances.
You begin by laughing outright at the ma
ture Of the wares thus hawked in open market
You end by wondering why Hungry Joe and
Kid Miller never thought Of entertaining In
Chicago Board OF Trade for puts" and
calls" In the green goods line.
great scheme" exchanged for big
snap"-an option" turned over as payment
In full for privilege: such are the princi-
pal business transactions which are con-
ceived and executed in the pigeonholes. or.
shall sny the vulture roosts OF the sky
scrapers Of Chicagoi
! cynic once objected The was himself
Semitel to the project OF restoring all the
Jews to Palestine and forever thereafter ex-
Guiding Gentiles from the Holy Land. Mako
It," he cried. "a distinct population OF Jews
and Danish tho othersi Whyl tho race would
| expire OF starvation"
| He would have boon reconciled to Mr.. OIL.
| plants project had he lived In Chicago. A
brief residence In the Rookery-better named
the "Hawkery"-would have contradicted
| many hoary axioms. among them the Scottish
proverb that "Corbies ma pick DOT corbes'
'een." He would have seen prosperous COM
munity. II not exactly happy one-of COM
mercial frcebooters buccaneering on the CO.
| operative plan and increasingly devouring one
| another Ho would have been ediGcd by the
discovery that there is after all value received
| by both parties in tho transfer Of protested
checks for wildcat stocks" and vital usu-
fruct in the swapping Of "lead-pipe cinches."
An experienced authority says OF Chicago
commerce.:
You enter our Board Of Trade on hand.
shake. and you work 1t for all it's worth on
| the Him fam racket"
This is. equally. the jargon Of business. In
Chicago. and Of the art and practice Of bunco
In New York: from which one gathers an i'm
preston. which may be only moderately cor
rect after all. that what passes for bunco In
New York would be regarded as nothing worse
than business in Chicago
Extremists. in view OF this fact, may 60 so
far as to asperse all Chicago business men as
mere practitioners OF bunco. but there is no
doubt that such deduction apparently
amounts to extravaganza Of statement. There
are. beyond question. men who carry on BUSH
ness In Chicago who would resent an invita-
ton to practise bunco in New York
Under these conditions. dealing In subaquo-
Gus real estate on tho part of Chicago bust
ness man belongs to legitimate trade. instead
OF coming under those provisions Of the New
York Penal Code which relate to swindling
and false pretences Tho Chicago alethometer
is not 80 delicate or SO sensitive as the New
York instrument. fact, doubtless. due to
differences in climate At the point at which
in New York it registers Fraud. in Chicago it
simply indicates Enthusiasm or Hyperbole.
The tendency OF Chicago business men to
market their imaginary wares upon the sido-
walk probably explains tho dlsagreeable con-
gestions which make it hard 10 pass unruf1led |
through Lasalle street or Dearborn street or |
North Clark street or any other thoroughfare |
in which one is perpetually recording quota
tons Of "biG schemes" Of great snaps" or |
"options." or privileges" or other commodi-
ties popular upon tho Chicago Rialto Real
corn and wheat and leather and groceries
speak for themselves. A vast deal OF explana-
ton naturally embellishes and enhances that
traffic in pure myths which. in Chicago. takes
the place Of actual commercial interchange.
Butts the male inhabitants OF Chicago are not
necessarily business men or expert practition-
ers OF bunco There are numbers OF them who
are what may be called. in default OF moro
distinctly definite phrase. professional
gents" Indeed. Chicago may boast among It's
other vaunts Of being the paradise OF the gent
There you may observe him In all his stages Of
development. from the budding gentling in his
first pair Of creased trousers to the consum-
mate flower OF genthood. gold chain. diamond
studs. patent-leather shoes. cigarette holder.
satisfied smirk. bad grammar. and ALL
Thora Ia prnhahlv nn Ofher {$v II |
the world which is so inclined to gent ness as
this city OF skyscrapers.
It would be interesting to learn the secret of
the correlation between the local layout as
1t is picturesquely termed and the local ten
dency to gentness. No matter what that Sc
cret may be. the consequence Is too obvious to
disregard. The shams Of the local archi-
lecture and the local commerce are exactly
paraleled In the utter and splendacious falsity
and bad form Of the local clothing and the To-
cal manners.
Even Chicago business men and Chicago
gents have to eat and drink. The twin ap-
petites Of hunger and thirst they satisfy after
their kind with all the noise and ostentaton in
which every citizen Of Chicago seems to feel
voluptuous delight
For example. the beau monde Of Chicago.
that afIluent and artless class to be able to
satlrize which upon the spot seems to be the
only influence that prolongs the residence OF
Mr. Eugene Field within its neighborhood:
tho bean monde celebrates night at the the
atre in manner distinctly different from that
in which an opera party In New York winds up
at Delmonico'A The beau monde an smaz-
ingly garlsh parcel OF young men In
ewallowtails and satin pufs. abetted by q
still more garish parcel Of young women In
bright silks and grapes. descends after the
theatre sirilly and screechiiy into spa
cious whitewashed cellar. which calls itself
tho Boston oyster house. The timid traveller
fancies for a moment that it is u magnificent
imitation Of the vault in which tho late and
deeply lamented oliver Hitchcock used to
servo the printers and journalists OF New York
with his Justly celebrated coffee and dough-
cakes. But he soon learns that the Boston
oyster house Is nothing less than Chicago
Improvement on the Brunswick or sherry's.
1t Is lit up by fzzing arc lights in ground