New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-11-09
SOME PEOPLE ARE HARD TO PLEASE.

HOW REPUBLICAN ORATOR ILLUSTRATED THE
THANKLEsSNEts OF DEMOCRATS.
The campaign orator who can illustrate his SOLID
facts and arguments with funny story now ana theh
Is generally better able to hold the attention OF MS
audience and impress his point upon their memory
than the speaker who relies upon eloquence ana cola
facts alone. This Is how a recent arrival from Tie
South impressed upon noon day andence OF business
men In Broadway the other day how unreasonable
the Democratic party is:
a never saw harder people to please In my liie,'
said he, than the Democrats. Why, find since
l came to New-YorS that they are not even pleased
with Pecks figures, showing the wonderful prosperity
Of their state. Q4aughter) l did not know who
Peck was till came mp here. A Democrat told me
Yesterday he was .Peck's bad boy grown up. laugh
ter
Their discomfort with the counry's prosperity
reminds me OF a pous lady down South whose husband
was rich, but atheist conference OF ministers
was being held in the town near this Colonel BIS
fine plantation, and Mrs b., when she started In the
morning attend the conference, told her husband
that she would like 10 bring back lot OF the holy
men to dinner with her IN the evening. She Thought
secretly that they might convert the Colonel. lie
agreed TO welcome them, and Mrs. b. ordered the
cook to prepare dinner accordingly.
After she had gone the Colonel asked the COOK
what Mrs. L. had ordered He found that one turkey
all she had thought necessary, and his big South
hospitality was shocked at the Idea. lie dln
not like preachers, class, but II they were to cat
at his table at ALL then they should be treated In way
to do credit to tie plantation and the family. Ac-
cordngy, he ordered ducks geese, chickens pigeon
turtle, lamb, mutton. beef. veal pork, oysters ana
front beside the turkey. He ordered vegetables and
pastry In proportion, and b. the time 1t was all on
the great table set with the family silver, there
WIS almost enough for forty preachers.
Presently the Colones wife returned and with her
oply -halred freckled
Young man. She Introduced it TO the big Colonel,
who could only gasp, rs that all, ClaribelP All
the preachers / found had previous engagements
whispered bis wife, in disappointed tone, but this
young man is music teacher, who led the choir ut
the convention. lie IL very pous and gives promise
Of great things. hope you won't use any bad
language while he is here, Colonel
Well. they down TO the loaded table. the
Colonel, his wife. the organ player and the Colonies
son, Rob, age thirteen, sturdy, violent, unnamed,
careful observer Of his fathers WAYS, and cleaner
Of his fathers oatls constant source OF worry 10
his mother, and the idol and king Of every negro on
the plantation
VIII you have turtle SOUP sir p asked the
genial Colonel, beaming with pleasure as the daries
removed the
No. thanks replied the organ-payer. Il never
take soup.
some oysters thenP
Same answer.
'lrOutP
NO thanks
'Pgeonp
Never eat pigeon, thank your
'Lambp
Same
"The Cponel's smile disappeared and be began 10
look troubled. Beef them Lie said.
"Ssme answer.
This vea, said the host pleaGingly is excel
lent my raising. Try sonnet
i never eat veal, thank your
Turkey
Same answer.
'Duck2'
NO thanks.
GOoser
Not any,
"Only the pork left now, and the Colonel
was III despair. What sort OF man this any
way? What did he cat? The thoroughly disap-
IDinied Colonel just Al our 10 Otter the last ash
when his SOD Rob, who had been listening with open
mOuthed wonder 10 all these rcfus:,ls Of the good
things Of this earth until he could hold himself no
longer blurted ont
egg