The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-07-20
HUMOR or rHEr

The vilest sinner may HH Ffy.
thing except al umbrca.Ia.
A friend in need Is a friend NlI gen
orally strikes you fora quarter.
1t is a case of faith with works with
a man who buys a cheap clock.
If it wasn't for the cranks the wheels
Of civilization would not reVolye.
Wantod-The name of the goldsmith
who made the welkin ring Truth.
The independent man is very often
In dependent circumstances. Truth.
The fog might be pointed out as Eng
lands air apparent. .-Washingto Star.
Dudes now use bronze powder to pro-
duce the effect of tan. 1t is cheaper
than a yacht.
Whenever there is any doubt about a
dogs sanity, an ounce of lead is worth
pound of cure.
The man who strikes an attitude i'm
agines that he is making great hit
Galveston News.
The work of teaching young ideas how
to shoot should be extended SO as to in
clude the duelists.
"a little nonsense now and then
Is relished by the best of menn
| The other feature of the question
Is that it helps along digestion.
--Harper's Bazaar.
1t used to be all expressed in ''lhe pen
is mightier than the sword" But now,
the typewriter is mightier than the ter
pedo boat.
He-''It's lots of fun to make fun of
society, isn't it2" She-"Yes; but it's
heaps more fun to be in society and be
made fun of."-Truth.
The sultry days do now befal,
When Sol with merry zsst,
Makes stand-up collars one and all,
Lie promptly down TO rest.
Washington Star.
Marriage will continue to be a failure
till our young wCmen learn TO support
man in the style he has always been ac-
customed to.-Eimira Gazette.
"'rhere is room at the TOP" says Hope,
And MARBLES il oft and sweety;
But the modern youth with "nervyn air
Says ut won't be 50 when once get there;
I'll fill the place up completely"
Sand you will not marry me, Miss
Hicksp "Never, Mr.. Small. | do not
love YOU" "Very well, am content.
Is-er-your younger sister at home,
Miss Hicksf"-IIarper's Bazaar.
Physician-''Here, take this; it's
good for your liver" Fogg-"Aud
what do | care if it isl Hasn't my liver
given me more trouble than all my other
tormentors put togetheri No, sir; give
me something that's good for me, no
matter how bad it is for my liyer!"--
Boston Transcript.
Johnny was told he might have half
Of the grapes. When his mot her went
to the cupboard she found he had taken
all and left none for his sister. When
spoken to by his mother, he replied,
"Mamma, I'll tell you just how it was.
When | had eaten half of the grapes, l
happened to think that I'd eaten up
Graoies half instead of my own. | was
real sorry, but then | couldn't help it,"
Boston Transcript.
"You have promised to love me
always, Reginald" " she murmured, "but
can trust you, Reginald! Can / trust
what is the matter, dearl' Moth
ing, Gwendolen, nothingn he replied,
mastering himself with an effort. "A
momentary spasm--uothing more Itis
gone" The question was the same that
his tailor had asked mm in loud, harsh,
sarcastic voice only an hour before
Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Popinjay Ealing on his knces)--
"Miss Wilson, l can no longer resist the
passionate impulse to appea! to you on
the momentous subject that is fraught
for me With the issues of life aud death.
And yet l am oyerawed at my preslmp-
ton when / take into consideration the
celestial glamour of your personal charms,
the dazzling lustre of your intellectual
attainments, the exquisite, the adorable
-" Miss Wilson-"EXcuse me, Mr..
Popinjay, but there are times when
eloquence is rather out Of place. II YOU
wish to pop the question, pop il, and be
done with 1t. Fun.