Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-12-03
NOODLES MAKES A MISTAKE.

His Efforts to succor . Sick Man Prove
Improbable.
NOODLES SPEAKS OF IT AS THE MOST
~ surprising adventure he ever had in his
life
He brought an acquaintance into the Platypus
Club the other afternoons man from Balti-
more-whom he had met only once or twice
before. They sat down in a cozy corner for q
chat, and, as q matter of course, drinks and
cigars were ordered. They talked about the
prospects Of the coming administration, moist
ening the conversation with a couple of Scotch
WHISTLES apiece.
Though Mr.. Jones-which was not his name,
but it will do well as another-had spoken
of having missed his luncheon and Of a doubt
about the propriety Of imbibing even such mild
stimulsnts as Scotch WHISTLES on an empty
stomach, the first one encouraged him to take
the second. Noodles was in the midst Of some
eloquent remarks respecting the iniquities of
the Mckinley tariff when he noticed that Mr.
Jones was exhibiting symptoms Of physical dis
comfort. In fact he acted as IL he were going
to be sick, and Noodles asked if he felt bad
Instead Of replying Mr.. Jones sat in his chair
without saying word, gasping and very red in
the face.
my dear fellow" said Noodles, ~ fear you
must be really ILL
Mr.. Jones said nothing, but continued to
gasp, his symptoms becoming yet more pro-
nounced
Can l not do something for you?' asked
Noodles anxiously.
Mr.. Jones evidently did not say anything,
but there was no room for doubt that he was
steadily feeling worse.
Noodles looked around him for aid and sum-
moned one of the serving men by touching a
bell close at hand.
John" he said. this gentleman is feeling
varv bad "a he l.. -
a cuspidor at once"
The cuspidor was promptly brought and
placed near Mr.. Jones, to be accessible in
case necessity should arise Mr.. Jones, though
he said nothing. seemed to be in much distress
Noodles was at his wits end
bring two or three more cuspidors John :"
he said to the servant.
John fetched all that were in the ROOM about
half dozen, and arranged them in a semi-circle
about Mr.. Jones. The latter still continued to
gasp:
Now, john" said Noodles, bring towel
quickly"
The man brought the towel and Noodles
spread it across Mr. Jones chest, tucking it
carefully into his collar Then he tried to think
OF something else to do, but nothing further
suggested itself to his mind as suitable for such
an emergency. Mr.. Jones, surrounded by the
constellation OF cuspidors and provided with the
towel, was as well prepared for sudden illness
as was practicable under the circumstances
Mr. Jones gave another gasp or two and then
spoke.
Il am very much obliged to you, Mr.
Noodles" he said in calm tone, his features
reassuming their ordinary placidity. There
is nothing the matter with me, except that l
have an impeachment in my speech. 1t attacks
me once in a while in that way, being purely
a nervous trouble, and cannot say a word, no
matter how hard try. l have been doing my
best to tell you that your alarm on my account
was groundless, but in vain. assure you that
am feeling perfectly WE'LL"
With these remarks Mr.. Jones quietly I'M
tucked the towel from his collar and handed it
over to the servant who stood by. The latter
said respectfully:
shall remove the cuspidors, Mr.. Noodles?"
Hang it, yes, replied Mr.. Noodles angrily.
PRAY have another drink with me- Mr. Jones,
in token that you accept my most humble
apologies"