Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1892-12-29
WHY HAM WAS CURSED.

Tie Tried to Work on Antediluvian Chest
nuts On the crew of the Ark.
The ark had been out of sight of land
"a little over three months. 1t was get
ting monotonous. How does she
head?" said Noah to Shem, who had
just come off watch.
''Sou'west by west little west
All right said Noah as he shifted
his quid and resumed his examination
of the chart
This ought to be good day for fish
Eng said .Japhet. 'If only had some
bait"
Speaking of bait interrupted Ham,
s''rerlinds me of the colored man who
was fishing oI the dock alongside a
small coiored boy when the boy fell
overheard The colored man.
Ham," said Noah,s sternly, do you
know how Cain escaped being hung for
murder?"
NO; 1 don't remember
''Well, his defensa was that Abel had
tried TO ring in that old story on him.
And the jury returned verdict of justi-
fable homicide. .
Ham felt the rebuke. There was an
awkward pause. Presently there was
disturbance in the cattle depart
ment.
Sounds to me as if the bull was MAX
ing trouble said Ham. And speak
ing of bulls reminds me of friend of
mine who undertook to tame d bull.
He tied rope round his waist
Yes, J." int rrupted Japhet. II remem-
Der that story. Tubal Cain set it to mu-
sic; the bull belonged to his brot her-in-
law; you needn't tell it,
Ham subsidized again
Seems to me, Ham, said Noah. look
ing up from the chart, that you're a
kind of an ass"
''Ha! har said Ham, ood-naturedly,
laughing ut his own expense. But
that reminds me of what a man down
in Mesopotamia said to fellow who
was Dragging about his mule. He
said
Never mind what he said,' inter-
rupted Shem. I'VE know all about the
mule and the buzzards and the whole
business. Methuselah used to play
marbles in his youth with the man who
made the remark about the buzzards
and he told the story twice week for
1850 years"
WELL" said Ham, 81 think this is
rather rough on man who is doing as
we'll as he can. / don't pretend that
these stories are new, but we've been
so long at. sea with no company but the
animals, [ thought they might sort of
-enliven us"
There's where you make bleeding
error" said Japhet, these stories are
are liable to breed disease and get us
,quarantined.
Silence ensued for some time. At
length Shem said: Tomorrow being
Friday, suppose we shall have fish for
breakfast -
Speaking of fish," said Ham. ire
minds me OF a farmer friend of mine
who went to hotel on his wedding
tour and struck n Goldfish cake"
''Merciful hcavenS.'' cried Noah, ris-
ing to his feet; have we got to listen
to these chestnuts all night? The man
who found something dead in the bread
was the prehistoric man himself. Adam
found the story written in hieroglyphics
in the anterOom of q cave bear. Ham,
if you don't shut up I'll throw you out
of the Window
Ham was angry, but he took the hint.
Weeks afterwards, as the family were
going ashore at Ararat, Noah said:
''Ham, where are you going to located
Raising his hand solemnly, Ham an
-swerd: Il am going to North America,
and l shall tell those four stories to
somebody who will listen to them if
have to wait five Thousand years"
Sure enough, Ham came up from
Georgia and told those stories in Tam
many hall Thursday night. There has
always been some doubt in theological
circles what Noah ''cussed' Ham for
If he told the stories in the ark that he
0 did in Tammany hall the mystery i.
solved.-N. Y. Tribune.