Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-07-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

"Out Of sight"-The owl at noon.
The lard refner never knows what he
can do until he tries.
The fixed star is one that has enough
money to settle down. Dallas News.
A star gazer must have far away
look in his eyes. -Binghamton Republi-
can.
A poem that is always sure of
market-the lay of the hen.-Lowell
Courier.
this summer is the baby's foot. Boston
Transcript.
Tenant-"The roof leaks" Janitor--
"Well, you shouldn't have taken the top
fiat. New York Sun.
A great many things are laid before
Congress, but comparatively few of them
hatch.- Washington Star.
Jagson says it is proper to wish the
anxious candidates many happy returns
on election day.-Elmira Gazette.
Bagley-"I don't believe in borrowing
trouble; do you?" Brace-"Of course
not; money is the thing. New York
Herald.
Practice makes perfect. You can see
lawyers and doctors walking on their
uppers for want of practice. Bingham.
ton Leader.
Every thrifty farmer will keep his
land well dressed, but he has no resson
to be ashamed of strawberry PATCH
Lowell Courier.
When boy begins to wash his neck
without being told it is sign he is pass
ing into the ordeal of his first love affair.
-Atchison Globe.
There are men with natures so small
that, if there is anything in transmigra-
ton, they will probably reappear as mi.
crobes.-Washington Star.
First Preacher-"Does your choir
sing in harmony2" Second Preacher
"Yes, but they don t live in harmony. F."
Kate Fields Washington.
The latest thing in Ohio is babe born
without hands. If he eventually drifts
into politics he will have to depend on
the hands of his friends. s.-Washington
Post.
s'What sly animal the fox is, to be
sure! The other day followed one for
three hours, and when | finally shot 1t
found it was a red dog. ."-Fliegende
Bleatter.
True to the nature of the beast, many
4 man who in his time has cast sleeps
eyes at pretty girl has afterwards had
the wool pulled over them.-Phila-
lelphia Times.
We have noticed that when you tell
woman her daughter is just the image of
her when she was that age, the mother
looks pleased and the daughter looks
scared. .-Atchison Globe.
Yeast-"What are you going to make
out OF your boyl" Crimsonbeak-"A
lecturer" elias he taste for itl"
"Oh, yes; he inherits it from his mother. "
San Francisco Examiner.
Mamma-"When that boy threw
stones at you, why didn't you come and
tell me, instead of throwing them back. :"
Little Son-"Tcll youf Why, you
couldn't hi, Il barn door. ."--Good News.
Publisher-'I wish you would write
us a good sea story" Great Author
.'But have never been to sea-" Pub.
hsher-ssI know it. | want sea story
that people can understand. Tit Bits.
Ii is strange. az he knows
She's In love with another;
lie should like 10 propose,
When, 50 sure as he goes,
He'll return as her brother.
New York sun.
uNIrs. Chinner seems to have very
pleasant time OF it, pheasant time !
why that woman's life is Que complete
round OF enjoyment. .'lt lsi" "It is
that. She belongs 90 seven sewing
circles. New York Press.
WnheTby-"I made the mistake OF
my life this morning. | told my wife |
didn't like her new gown. "-Planking-
ton-"What, was she angryp Wither
by--"oh, no, il wasn't that, but sho
want, another one. Cloak Review.
Lady Go her regular begging custom
erl-''I sec that you have brought some
one with you to-day, aud | eannot give
10 both" lieggar r-''Ceftainly not,
maam, | am only taking him the
round Of my elienls, as have an idea Of
selliag the business"
1eaohef-"Mon't yon sll down,
Jimmyi7 Jimmy N0p," IeaeheF--
"Why not,n Jimmy "Jis because. "
Teacher "lieeause ehalf' jimmy
'iieeause whon pap saz puilin' down
the carpet this mornin' aud hit hls lhuml
with the tack hammer | laughed =
bosloa Poet
Clara ''l hope you gopt bring that
MF. llatseg around 30 see me, | don't
want Ia see him Maude Hut, my
dear, he says he used 70 play wi.h you
when you we're little girl " Clara
That's ahy iun't aant "a meet him,
u felniads lae oi the time shea | saFe
helae asde eloak "a sunday school, I"
~ilaaA heelaN,