The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1892-11-19


instead of the presentation being made
by the priory at Little Dunmow or by
the lord OF Dunmow, it is made by
firm of city bacon curers; and in the
ceremonial that attends the awards
still more important changes have been
made. Long ago anybo ly might put in
a claim. All that was required was
that tile husband and vie should de-
clare that
You never made any nuptial transsression,
Since you were hurried man and wife.
Or since the parish clerk sail Amen"
Wished yourselves unmarried again;
Or in a twetvs month and dav
Repented not in thought any way.
For this is our custom at Dunmow well known,
Though the sport be our own, the bacons your
own
OF old the claimants had to llneel on
sharp tlints at the priory of Little Dun
NOW and vow that these things were
true. All is changed now, as the fol-
lowing account will show:
Monday the sport followed a show of
pony-racing and other rural diversions.
1t was under the patronage of Lord and
Lady Brooks, and did not begin until
they arrived on the scene. The tent
where the award took place was then
transformed into an excellent burlesque
of court of justice.
A lawyers clerk acted as judge; the
local corn merchant, in appropriate
dress, was counsel for the claimants; an
auctioneer conducted the case for the
donors. Six maidens and as many
bachelors formed the jury The crowds
that thronged the tent proved that the
monumental jest that has amused En-
gland for seven hundred years or more
is still as interesting as ever to the gen.
eral public
Upon the platform there We're two
couples who claimed the fitch one be-
ing old, the other young; and the begin
ners were taken first Certainly the
corn merchant, who acted as barrster,
made out an excellent case for his
youthful clients. BY examination he
showed that they had known one
another for ten or twelve years before
marriage, and that the husband was fond
of children and not at all quarrelsome.
These two (the man was thirty-siX and
the wife yoInger) avowed that their
advice to all spinsters and bachelors
would be to get married, and they could
in all honesty take the bacon; at
which there was a laugh that sounded
increduous.
b Yet the auctioneer or opposing coun-
sci could not break down the evidence.
For the husband swore that he had no
club and never went to the theater
without his wife; that she never grum-
hled when he came home late and never
discovered will contrary to his. The
wife on her part swore that her hus-
band always got up most cheerfully in
the middle Of the night if baby was
crying, and that neither cold dinners
nor washing day reused his temper No
cross examination was able to shake
this evidence.
Although the counsel for the donors
suggested all kinds of offense, it was
stoutly denied that any trouble had
arisen in the matrimonial affairs of the
two, and though the jury retired to
consider their verdict the facts were
not to be gainsaid. and the fitch was
awarded. Yet it was easy to see that
good-humored cynicism was mingled
with the cheers that greeted the award.
But, indeed, a curiousy frank out
spokennesss was the most obvious
characteristic of the audience.
When the herald opened the proceed
ings with his 80, yes! o, yes! All We
who have complaints approach his lord
ship. O. yes! o, yes!" there were peals
10, =
'Guv'nor! let's hear what you're saying,
old man!' interrupted the Judges sum-
ming up; and when the first fitch was
awarded, For the biggest lie-what
do you thinll?" was cried by the back
seats.
The second applicants were an old
couple whom even the opposing barris-
ter blushed to oppose. United their
ages amounted to one hundred and fifty,
and for twenty-five years the husband
had been in her majesty's service. He
was compared to the old Adam of "As
You Like It," and vowed that in his
hottest youth he had never been false
to his Mary Jane, In this case opposi-
tion to the granting of the bacon was
purely matter of form. and, indeed,
the discussion served no other purpose,
as far as one could see. except to allow
the introduction of certain very obvious
Jokes.
1t goes without saying that both OF
the sham lawyers were accused of try.
ing to save their Bacon" of talking
"'gammon," and of other eccentricities
connected with hogs flesh. Evidently
the judge was quite unable to see the
slightest force in the opposition, for he
not only gave the applicant the benefit
of his advice, but on the verdict of the
jury having been returned he congrat-
ulated the happy couple on having
taken the bacon.
So thus the two hitches were award
cd. What remained to be done was to
mount the recipients ON chairs provided
for the occasion, and while the band
played "See the Conquering Hero
Comes" carry them around the field
Thus ended the ceremony of awarding
the fitch of bacon. 1t is the third con.
secutive year in which the fitch has
been awarded. Some tine about 1860
Mr.. Harrison Ainswoith, whose novel,
1.-THE Fitch of Bacon" is we'll known
managed TO get itreyivsd, Inueh again
the will of the landed pro- rirtors % G
district, who were psjnfr ~ 49, &c Ia :.