Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-08-12

VIM. Barry, near Niagara, have been
captured.
A Funny Trip.
A passenger on Saturdays stage from
Ecklund had a story Of his adventures
to relate, and the description is surely
worthy of chronicling. The stage Is
driven by a long, lean, lank Scotchman,
who made himself famous in a suit with
Evard Wooster. and who has several
times since made himself notorious be-
cause of his striking eccentricity and
decided originality.
The stage was in Ecklund and ready
to start and the driver sat on his box,
grim and gaunt, awaiting the time. At
last everything was in readiness, and
with a crack of his four-horse whip, and
a whoop which would have done credit
to a Comanche, he left the station.
Now in explanation, it will be neces-
sary to divert the readers attention for
a moment, and state that there is only
one thing in this world which that
driver thinks as important as himself,
and that is the United States mail. He
is overcome with a feeling Of dignity,
which is simply freezing in its intensity,
when he stops to consider that he is the
carrier of the United States mail. He
allows no trivial circumstances, no
triAing accident to interfere with it's
punctual delivery, and while this is an
essentially praiseworthy trait, it may be
carried to a ~disagreeable extreme, as we
shall presently see.
It happened that when the sta ge had
proceeded a few miles upon it's course,
the driver became anxious lest he should
lose time, and touched, up the horses
smartly with the whip. Now, the horses
started suddenly, and as everyone who
is familiar with driving knows, such a
sudden start is always accompanied by
a jerk of the vehicle. This occasion
was no exception to the usual rule, and
the stage jerked, quite jerkily. When
the jerk came the aforesaid passenger
wa sitting in the back seat, having
wrapped around his hand a halter rope
at the other end of which was attached a
horse which he was leading. This horse
couldn't quite make connections with the
zigzag motions Of the stage, as guided
by this eccentric driver, SO he reared
back, and, being somewhat stronger
than the passenger who held him, he
brought the passenger out Of his seat
head foremost through the back Of the
stage, and deposited him not very
gently in a recumbent attitude upon
mother earth.
Well, the passenger didn't wish to be
left behind 30 he yelled to the driver in
q loud, rude tone Of voice, to stop and
let him get back in. But the driver
who didn't want to lose any time, and
who was now about a half mile ahead,
touching nothing but the high places in
the road, roared back in stenotrian tones
that he wouldn't sto the United State
mail for any G. passenger who was
careless enough, to fall out behind
And he went his way.
Well, the passenger made the
welkin resound with curses, loud
and deep. he cursed, stormed
implored, but the United States
mail driver couldn't see it his way and
the passenger was left behind, realizing
fully the primary Importance of the
United States mail. H.,
But the adventures of the day had but
fairly begun. The stage soon arrived al
q farm house, which stood in shaded
%seclusion, at the side of the road. When
the driver saw the house, he called to
the horses q loud "whoaV leaped from
the box, with the agility of tiger, tossed
the reins carelessly to the winds and
rushed in. II want a drink of but ter.
milk" he said, iercely, as he CROSSED the
doorstep. II must have it, I want it, ]
will have it, give it to me,
hurry up, you're delaying the
United States mail" he gasped
next. II pine for q drink of the liquid
nectar" was his next effusion, and afte,
staring hard at him for 9 few minutes
the woman to whom be was talking ten
dered him q crock containing about
four gallons. He placed himself on the
Immediate outside of this in about az
many seconds as there were gallons, and
then after signing 3 long sigh, letting
ont 9 hole or two in his belt and wipina
his mouth with the lining Of his coat, he
clambered mp on the box and drove of
ct breakneck speed. He repeated the
performance at every farm house be
passed. His inner self seemed to have
8 wild, fierce, unquenchable desire FOL
the soured essence OF the gentle bovine