The record-union., 1892-12-03
THE MATRIMONIAL MUSE.
Bits Collated From the simpsonviIle
''Sawbuck.''

'|Sawbuck.''
The editor of the Simpsonville S1l05uck
was putting the marriage notices into
shape. and as the names OF happy couples
were rather unusual, it occurred to him
that he might make it pleasant for all
concerned, and possibly sell q few more
copies OF his paper.
LET me see," he said, chuckling to
! himself, and sorting over the copy,
here's Jim old and Fannie Smith.
Jlm's been on the books for long time.
[ wonder how this'll strike them," and
he wrote:
Our city is proud Of the youth of her girls,
They are younger each year TO behold,
ana since We've been here, now many year,
Sweet Fanny is the first to get Old.
There, | guess that's good for dozen
copies," and with sigh of relief he
pulled out another:
"Um-Mr. English and Miss French"
ne soliloquized. They're high flyers.
Want something nice and qu.et. Don't
like TO see their names IN the papers, but
they'll buy all the copies they can ind"
and he worked away 1or ten minutes. Il
guess that's the pole that will knock the
perslmmons," he smiled as he wrote this
after the formal notice:
REACHING THE PERsIlIlIONS.
'Je 'tame," he said.
1t gave ner heart wrench
Il do not understand" she said,
Il am not French
''Nou WeTe' he said,
Il did not like you so,
And have made you
English, don't you know
He read it over once or twice with evil
dent pride and went for another.
NV illiam Higgins and Katie Black, )" he
said thoughtfuily. ~ don't know Katie,
but Bill owes me 81 for printing his we'd
ding cards a month ago. l guess Ill re-
I,fe
the spot" and he took up his pencil
savagely, and wrote:
May blessings be with Bill this day,
Although lie is Il slick one;
He couldn't get a girl that's white
and so ne took a black one.
'If that doesn'C fetch him." laughed
the editor softly, III give him the s. fer a
wedding present"
He looked up another.
"Ah, here's Harry Thorn and Ann
Rose; that's an easy one. l can write
that kind at so much mile running
measure" and he dashed off this:
oh, Happy Harry, Happy Ann.
rejoice that you were born,
And thank the man who said, There is
NO Rose without Thorn"
"That isn't so bad" he mused, as he
reached for more aids to poesy, and he
dragged out another:
WHAT HE PLEASED.
"Mr. Hogg aud Miss Mary Law" he
repeated as he chewed on his pencil.
well, Pll say what l please, think, as
| don't know either one of them, and
here goes" He worked few minutes
and had this;
He's taken the Law into his hands
And happily may they Jog;
She loved him true, or She never could do
such thing as marry Hogg.
THAT'S a little left-handed, maybe" ." he
even if they don't like it themselves. Be
side, Hoggs haven't any business getting
married, anyway"
Here's something better" he con
tinued, as he picked up another notice.
"Mr. Sweet and Miss Angel. Think of
it, he murmered. why, it Just makes
itself a poem," and he scribbled away for
this:
May all the Joys of life betide
This sweet young groom and Angel bride;
This groom's in luck, he's drawn i prize:
Nor, Nor is the bride much otherwise;
Shes bound to be sweet all her life
And he's got an Angel tor wife.
THAT'S worth at least twenty conies.n
and the ticklish editor began to iuggle
the extra dollar in his mind.
Here one more" he went on as he
studied the names. Charley Poor and
Harriet Home. There's a good deal in
that, possibly" and he began to grind the
machine and ran out this:
All, wOmans trust in man is great
Surprising all endeavor;
Sweet Harriet leaves her Home content,
Though she be Poor forever.
BY gravy" said the editor, that's
corker. I'll bet
''there's a fight on the corner and the
feller's got out his gum and the editor
dropped the muse and hustled out for the
news.-Detroit Free Press.