The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-08-31

vIiI.--THE UNsELFIsH MOTHER.
BY ONE OF THEM.

Copyright by Cambridge Literary Bureau and
Press, 1892
A person searching through the
world for perfect mother might nat
urally enough think he had found her
in the unselfish. Yet l assert-and
many examples could be brought to
prove it-that the self-abgegation Of a
mother fosters in her child some of the
most glazing faults, disrespect, tyran-
ny, selfishness.
A devoted, self-sacrihcing woman is
far from uncommon, though so persist
emily does she keep herself in the back
ground that the world is apt to pass hes
by without notice.
Her husband and children are obvi-
Gus enough, and mother, where's
this?" and mother, won't you do
that?" are painfully common upon their
lips. The thoughtful listener cannot
but wonder what manner of ''lnother"
this may be, who is supposed to
know the position of every ones be-
longings, and to lend hand in every
ones duties.
When discovered, she generally
proves to be worn, tired-looking per-
son, dressed very plainly-poorly. if the
family income is slender-with hair
drawn straight back, and no ruffies or
ribbons about her. She moves around
silently, answering questions, tying
cravats, hunting up school books, lend
ing hand here and brain there, till
every member of the family is in order,
and equipped for the day, and when
she has closed the door behind the last
| one, she proceeds to devote her day to
working for them, and preparing for
their return; not one thought of her.
| self not one moment for rest or recrea.
ton, not one plan for personal pleas
ures or improvement does she in.
| dulge in. !
| The motives of the unselfish mother
are above reproach. She aims to give
her family her whole self-body and
soul, and she does, but not her best self.
| When a woman with no more than
twenty-four hours to her day is the
keeper of every ones possessions the
recti6er of every ones faults of idle
ness or carelessness the willing serv-
ant of the whole household, how can
she manage to keep her body well and
refreshed, her mind enlightened and
abreast of the time, in order to perform
these higher uses? AS the training Of
mind and heart is more important than
the physical comfort of child, so is it
more imperatively mothers duty to
prepare herself and keep herself fit for
that work.
Not that physical comfort should be
neglected, but it should always occupy
a subordinate place. For instance, a
mother should provide suitable gar
ments and conveniences for keeping
them, but she should not put them on
to child big enough to serve itself,
nor hunt them up when carelessly mis-
laid. If necessity compels her to mako
her children's clothes, she should not
spend hours and days over ruffles and
furbelows, because Mrs. A, with
twice her income, dresses her aaugh-
ter in ruffles and furbelows. If
obliged to do her own cooking, she
should not waste her energies concoc-
ting buildings and pies because her
family like them, and are used to hav-
ing them. Something far more impor-
tant than fine dress or elaborate cook.
ing demands mothers freshest pow
ers; it is wisest for her to economic
her labors for their physical welfare,
that she may have more to spend on
the molding of character.
In other ways also, the unselfishness
of mother affects her family. For
one thing, it makes them helpless.
Children who have always been waited
upon are really to be pitied when
forced to live without their lifelong
servant. They do not know how to help
themselves; the daughters cannot keep
a room in order, the sons can never find
their things
Then again, although they may love
her after fashion, as one loves use
full being of lower order of intelli-
gence, children cannot respect their
mother-as they should-as their SUI
perior in mental and spiritual develop.
ment.
Furthermore, unselfshness cultivatcs
tyrants. There is no despot like the
child who has always been waited
upon, and none who will be more disa-
greeable to live with all his years.
Selfishness - utter selfishuess - is,
however, the most fourishing crop
from the mothers unselfshness. That
dnyone's wants can be SO important as
his own never enters the head of a
child SO trained. That anyone's com
'ort is to be considered, that anyone
has rights that he must respect, are all
unsupported facts in his theory of life
That everything should go on smooth
ly-his clothes be always in order and
in place, the dinners always perfect,
the service always up to marks no
more, in his estimation, than that
the sun shall shine or the leaves come
out in the spring. 1t has always been
! so in his experience-ergo, it must
still be so; if not, the woman at the
helm is in fault! So the devoted self
abnegating mother becomes a bugabo
in her sons household, and my mother
did so!" the shibboleth before which it
quakes.
wise thought for herself, careful
!, preservaSon of her best powers of mind
and body, is mothers duty, for the
sake Of the souls she has to train. No
less imperative is it, for their sake also,
that she understands her position and
maintains the dignity of it. To give up
her peeded rest that her young and Wig
orous daughter may have some pleasure