Evening journal., 1892-08-20
sHRlNkERs

One thlng that is peculiarly admirable
and beautiful about the Republicans of
Delaware is the modesty and the ten
derby shrinking, tremblingly undecided
hesitancy with which they accept things.
We are not referring to the police and
hush money, but Office. They do not
rush out to meet office half way. Not
they. That is not business and then
there might be a sting to it, They have
not confidence enough in themselves tc
rush.
There are innumerable instances to
prove this proposition, but we have
Willis and Sperry in our minds eye just
now; though we admit we cannot omit
Bach, Asbury Sterling, Downham,
Hersey and Mahaify as delicious band
Of shrinkers without pang Of remorse.
But Willis and Sperry, however.
have shrunk last, If not least,
and we shall direct special at
tention TO them, in pointing our moral,
at the risk Of offending many others
whom we have not space to commemorate.
''AAA' 10 Nn NAA-Ailutt Annoo hdtktO. re-
ligious shrinker He has been shrinking
for twenty years, in mortal terror lest
the Republicans would sneak upon him
unbeknownst, and thrust nomination
upon him. He is shrinker from
principle and from practice Like Peter.
he shirks from habit and under too much
tension his veracity Is liable to give way
three times.
He confined himself so closely to his
religious duties that he lost his voice. be-
came a recluse. and It was impossible to
drag him away from home with an OK
team TO make a speech. He shrunlx so
thoroughly and was so determined not to
accept any honor that some people forgot
him. He shrunk that hard that the
managers were afraid to request the
usual subscription TO carry on campaign
Of education among the colored peoples
He shrunk with such consistency of rock
ribbed modesty that some of his closest
friends feared he would commit suicide
or possibly murder the man who pro.
posed TO nominate him for an office that he
did not want, and would not accept if
elected.
These deplorable shrinlSs of Willis be-
came so distressing that the entire com
monwealth was about to go into mourn
ing. Sussex county has been getting
sadder and sander for twenty years.
The peach and tomato crops have been
failing frequently potato bugs became
voracious and insolent. and calamities
came so thick and fast that the people
began TO apprehend the millennium.
Just as the crisis seemed impending
just as Mars began to approach with his
suspiciously red face and the people of
Sussex were tearing around in the attics
looking for their moth-eate Bibles, bent
ON doing some tremendous praying.
Sperry forsook his shrinlSs and tele.
graphed to Senator Higgins Thanks
awfully"
Sussex smiled. Even the yellow leg.
ged chickens caclled delightedly and
razor backed pigs squeaked contentedly
for they knew that Willis, too would 90
up to the mourner's bench to be PRAYED
for at the call Of Revivalist Bach.
1t is beautiful. The country was going
to pieces. It would have gone, If sperry
had been as experienced and resolute a
shrinker as Willis.
Sperry was not. He had been shrink.
ing for three years, only; and, then, in a
mild and amiable manner as if he were
afraid that he would hurt somebody's
feelings He was never pronounced
and fragrant shrinker like Willis. No
body could be, without vast amount Of
experience and an unconscionable gan.