davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
VINO WA. cine slok Mani

Clara-I don't like these photo
graphs. / showed them to my i'm
valid uncle, and he says they are
horrid.
Photographer-Well, you can't go
by what he says; sick man and
well man take a different view OF
things, you know.
Clara-Well, then, he must have
been comparatively healthy to what
you we're when you took those photo
graphs.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05

Dudley Canesucker Il tell you
what, Mr.. Plaintork, the idea that
there is pwersonal devil neyah
comes into my head.
Mr.. Plaintork-That's just like my
dog, but he never goes around howl
ing about it.-Texas Siftings.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
BritaIn's Pride.

The British Museum originated
with grant by Parliament in 1853 Of
ego, 600 to the daughter OF Sir Hans
Sloane, in payment for his fine Ne
brary and vast collection OF the pro-
ductions OF Nature and art. To this
collection we're added the Cottonian,
Harleian and other collections.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
Salaries and Duties.

He-I think we need not worry
about the future. am now getting
50, 900 year as second assistant sub
editor OF the Daily Blower.
She-Yes; but you are killing your
self doing two mems work.
He-I know; but before long may
be promoted and then / will get
SO, 900 for doing one mans work; and
IL have patience l will eventually
reach position where will get
S., 900 for doing nothing at all.-New
York Weekly.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
Provlden,tallv PennlIes..

Moop-There goes Shoop. He's the
biggest dead-beat in town.
Kloop-So he is. He's done me out
Of money more than once.
Moop-Why, I've saved fortunes on
that fellow by not having had them!
Smith, Gray & Co.'s Monthly.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
"Perseverance," Etc.

How much a man may love horse
and hate to lose him has recently
been shown IN the case OF an old
farmer in Illinois, who travelled over
], 200 miles Of country trying to find
an old s25 plug which was stolen from
him. two years ago. He got the an.
imal at last in Georgia.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
Too Cool tn raii

Mrs. Sanger-What were yon laugh
ing at while papa was saying grace?
Edith-Jus' joke.
Mrs. Sanger-Why, Edith! what
sort of joke?
Edith-A private Joke.
Mrs. Sanger-Can't you tell. me
about it?
Edith-No; it was JUS private
joke tween me an Goldsmith,
Gray s. Co.'S Monthly.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
Initiating tho Dyop Curtain.

"Where are you going?" said Mrs.
Murray Hill, as her husi and started
to go out at the end OF the first act.
"Oh, no place much" he replied.
81 notice that the curtain has taken
drop, and / thought OF doing the
same thing myself. Texas Siftings.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05

At meeting OF the Essex County
On. J.) Council the lunatic asylum
committee reported that the super-
tntendent Of the asylum had Informed
them that the chief cause OF lunacy
there was the marriage Of cousins
and the next principal cause was
drink.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
A Mistaken Policy.

First tramp say, Mike, tn fash
ion of gents like me an you carryin'
clubs is a mistake.
Second tramp-Git out! Clubs
scares people inter bein' hospitable,
don't they?
First tramp-They useter; but
wen folks began ter notice our clubs
they began ter keep big dogs, an now
it takes all tn cold yittles they
has ter feed tn dogs.-New York
Weekly.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
A Dreadful Threat.

An Austin colored man, with pro-
truding eyes, rushed into Justice
Tegener's Office and exclaimed:
Il wants Col. Jones, who Ibis mex
door to me, put under $1,000, 900
bonds ter keep de peace"
HAS he threatened your life?"
"He has done dat berry thing. He.
said he war g'wine ter I'LL de mex
niggah he found after dark in his
hen-house plum full OBJ buckshot. -
Exchange.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
THE COUNTRY ROADS.
OURS SAID TO BE THE WORST
IN THE WORLD.

A Movement to Secure Good system oi
Highways, Partly Under National and
Partly Under Local Supervision = The
Economic Side Of the Case.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
HUMOR OF THE WEEK,
STORIES TOLD ~ FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Many 0dd. Curious. and Lsughnbls
Phases of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed By Eminent Word Artists q
Our own Day.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05

] RENE mber. remember
The hickory trees so high
That would climb with hope 10 bag
Some shellbarks on the sly.
or Course IL was u childish whinL
but ali! twas little Joy
To find how Farmer Jones dog
Could mastlcate q boy.
Boston Courier.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05
Night Have neen Worse,

She-~I am very sorry our engage
ment must cease. can never mar
ry."
He-~My gracious! What has hap
pened?"
She-My brother has disgraced u.s.
He-"Oh, is that all? That doesn't
matter feared may be your father
had failed. New York Weekly.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-05-05

wrapper on each box For the nrst few 6ays
the cold baths were pretty severe a. was
90 very weak. bat continnod 20 follow In
structions az 20 taking tho pills and the
treatment. and even before / had used up
the two boxes OF the pills began
Ny palns were not so bad. felt
warmer; my head felt betterI my food
began 20 relish and agree with
me; could straighten upi the feeling be-
gan TO come back into my limbs; / began
to be able 10 get about ON crutches; my eye
came back. again rs good as ever, and now.
after the use OF eight boxes of the pills, at
a cost of only A-seel--I can walk with
the help of cane only. walk all about the
house and yard. can saw wood. and on
pleasant days walk down town. My stom-
ach trouble Is gone; l have gained ten
pounds; feel like new man, and when
tho spring opens expect 70 be able TO re-
new my organ and plano agency. cannot
speak Ia TOO high terms of DR. Williams
Pink Pills for Pale People-as / know they
saved my life after AL the doctors had
given me up as incurable"
such Is the wonderful story which the
Express reporter has succeeded In securing
verifcation OF in all its details. from the
hospital records whore Mr.. QUAINT was
treated apd from the doctors who had the
case In hand and who pronounced him in
durable Let IL be remembered that all this
hospital treatment was two and three years
ago. while his cure, by tho use of DIR. Will
Jams Pink Pills for Pale People, has been
effected since last September. 1891. So IL
is beyond n doubt evident that his re-
covery Is wholly due to the use Of these
famous pills which have been found to
have made such remarkable cures In this
and other cases
Mr. QUAINT placed in the hands of the
reporter his card of admission TO Roosevelt
Hospital, which Is here reproduced In fur
-. a. ~ ~ d u@a
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
SamOry and BehanZin.

The French have two little wars on
their hands in West Africa. We have
heard recently Of the purpose of the
King of Dahomey to force the French
again to hostilities. The French have
accepted the challenge, but it is not
likely that we shall hear Of hard fight
ing for some time yet, as this is the
rainy season along that coast and the
time is not suspicious for military
movements. A month or two from
now, says the New York Sun, we may
hear of some very lively doings in Da-
honey, and King Behanzin is likely to
learn a lesson he will never forget.
The other war is now going on further
northwest. The French are making a
great effort to dispose finally Of the
Sultan Samory, their enemy in the up
per Niger region. Samory has been
fighting the French good deal Of the
time since 1882. A few weeks ago we
reported that the French had driven
him from his capital, Bissandagu, and
they thought then that Samory was
nearing the end Of his rope. But he
does not relinquish the game SO easily,
and the French career of success has
not been unbroken.
Since he lost his capital Samory has
former stronghold. The French sent a
force after him to insure his defeat,
but he lately scored at least one little
victory over his pursuers, and he took
few French prisoners. It is hoped
that he has not such faith in his ulti-
mate success as will lead him to treat
his prisoners with the terrible cruelty
to which he is said often to have subject
ed other prisoners of war. Gen.
Faidherbe, who fought Samory for
years in the Western Soudan, describes
him as monster of cruelty. Faidherbe
says he owed the rapidity of his con-
quests to the terror produced by his
practice Of burning his prisoners of
war by the hundre d in fiery trenches
filed with wood and oil. We have not
had Samory's side of this story.
One reason why he is now able to
offer formidable resistance to the French
is because he has quite a quantity of re-
peating rifles in his army. The French
say he has 1000 repeating rifles, and
they blame the English for permitting
him to purchase these improved weap-
ons through agents in British territory
on the coast.
1t is probable that the French will
not put an end to their troubles with
Samory until they kill him. Nearly all
the troops Senegal can muster are
needed in the war with this prophet OF
the Western Soudan, and SO France is
likely to have her hands very full when
King Behanzin of Dahomev assumes
the offensive, as he is certain to do as
soon as the weather permits. In the
end, however, it is quite certain that
Samorv will be defeated and his coun-
try turned into French protectorate.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
The Law Defined.

A brave French officer, now on the
retired list, who lost his right arm in
the Franco-Prussian war, appeared as a
witness before the court in a city of the
South of France, a few weeks ago, say
the New York Tribune. When called
upon to swear that he would tell the
truth, in the customary manner, the
officer naturally raised his left hand.
The counsel for the defendant objected
to the witness at once on the grounds
that an ''oath taken with the left hand
was worthless"
The learned judges were unable to
decide the question, and withdrew to
an ante-room for consultation. In a
few minutes the solons reappeared,
and the president read the following
decision, from literary and patriotic
point of view worthy of a Prudhomme:
'sIn consideration OF the fact that, when
the glorious remnants OF our army ap-
pear in our courts to respond to their
legal duties, we cannot demand that
thew take oath with those limbs which
they have lost in the service of their
country, we decide that the oath just
made with the left hand of the witness
is admissible.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
Way off Color.

The hue of. health! Who can mistake it.
The white brow, the deepened tint of the cheek.
OF the eye. CHEEKY expression of the counten-
ance. are tEfalible indicia that the liver is per-
forming its functions actively, ana that conse-
Quently digestion and the bowels are undis-
turbed If, however the complexion and eye
balls HAYES saffron tint or the face is drawn
and void OF Sprig htliEess and animation, the
hillary gland is almost certain to be out of or
der. Rectify the difficulty speedily. thorough
ly, with the paramount ambitious specific.
remedies not only the above outward and visi-
BILE signs of biliousness, but also the sick head
aches constipation. vertigo fur upon the
tongue, nausea. sour breath and pains through
the right side which characterize it. The liver
is always seriously involved in malaria, for
which the Bitters is sovereign specific. This
medicine remedies with equal promptitude and
completeness. kidney complaint, dyspepsia,
rheumatism and nervousness,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
Another Expose.

John Geiger, member of Court Val
lev Forge, No. 1859, Independent Order
of Odd Fellows. has three mended
places in the bone of one of his legs,
and, incidentally, the second degree IN
that secret organization. Mr.. Gelger' s
leg was broken in taking this second
step. and he now asks of the Cook
County court of cbancery that he be
paid S25, 900 damages, or at the rate OF
SIS. 3333 and the odd cents for each frac-
ture.
It was about three months ago, says
the Chicago News-Record, that Mr..
Geiger went into the lodge with great
expectations OF hearing something
drop. He had nerved himself for al
most anything except hospital ampu-
lance, determined to take the second
degree or fall through the skylight.
According to his allegations In the
bill Officers James Donohue, John Rlor,
dan. John Nolan and others compelled
him. in spite of his protests, to engage
in mock war, in which blood threat
ened to flow in lurid streams at any mo-
ment. He was compelled TO toy with
bright. sharp swords, and, as last
measurement of his courage. he was
called upon to jump into boiling.seeth-
ing lake of fire.
It was real fire, of course-that is, not
English fire. It had been built IN the
Greek language, as IT were, ana ueige :
shut both eyes and jumped. 81
The dull thud occurred one and .oHA
half seconds later. Geiger went Ne
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

with second degree IN the patrol
wagon. He suffered from the attacks
of a surgeon and splints for several
weeks while the lodge paid the bills.
At the end of that time he compro-
missed on $500 damages in installments
of SO each. After the second install
ment the lodge suspended payment.
Now Geiger claims to be injured for
life, and in asking for $25, 900 damages
will make over all right and title to a
second degree on payment of the cash.
Geiger refuses to make his grievances
more explicit until the case is reached
in cOurt
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
The JarawaS.

u o. gmies of the Andaman Islands
laZaBav of Bengal are coming into
,f{ce again. On South Andaman ISL
III the Indian government maintains
treat penal colony. Several attacks
AVE been made recently by the I'M
r HnabIe Jarawas of this island on par
| Ties of convicts, who find it very dan
ferrous to leave their settlements to go
Hunting in the woods. The natives
roam over big tracts Of thick jungle,
lappearing occasionally on the coasts or
Visiting the confines Of the settlements.
numbering any convicts they may
Inject. When pursued, the bands
Iseparate into parties of two or three
land retreat into the densest part of the
Jungle. where they leave no trail. Mr..
rportman, the administrator OF the
IAndaman Islands, says that the few
IJarawas who have been caught during
the past ten years, and returned to their
tribe after enjoying his hospitality,
have done nothing to promote more
friendly relations between their people
and the government.
That is a more discouraglng report OF
these Andaman pygmies than was made
several years ago by Col. Cadet. al
Though he wrote of the natives Of the
Little Andaman. He insisted that
their ferOclty was due to the lnnumanl-
Ity of Chinese and Malay traders, who
Improved every opportunity to draw
the natives into slavery. He said they
are good-natured and pleasant people
Ito meet when once their confidence IS
gained. An expedition which lande d
Iamoug the dwaris of Little Andaman
Twas assailed as usual with arrows and
battle axes. The party took three
women and six men prisoners, says the
New York Sun, and carried them nearly
loo miles away to Fort Blair. They
were treated there with the utmost
' kindness. and in two months were sent
back to the island loaded with presents.
On the next visit of the whites the re-
leased captives came to see them, and
in few days men, women and children
visited the camp and even ventured on
board the steam launch.
The Jarawas Of South Andaman, how
ever, still keep their arrows sharpened
for any foreigners who pass their way.
All these people belong to one of the
Smallest races Of men in the world.
The average height of the men, Mr..
Flower says, is 4 feet inches, and that
of the women is 4 feet inches.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
ONLY ONE BRUTE!
Ely CARLYLE HARRIS.

BY CARLYLE HARRIS.
Yes, Number Fives smart machine,
And she's quick at her brakes. sir. too:
But there was time when she Warnt q u1c
enough
Now, this yarns between me and you.
That year Number Five had the night pres
And had to make her climb
On the road to stillwelI Junction,
To catch the switch on time
Just six miles this side of the Junction
The line turns mountain side,
And lived with my wife and collie dog
In house up on the "0lvlde.
That dog was walkin' college;
He always knew such heap,
And when it came to railroads
Well, you'd never find him asleep.
The night have in mind. sir,
We were pilin' up the grade.
When saw my dog come down the track
runnin'-he Warn't afraid
Of course, thought he was foolin
And sorter out for lark,
Bat he suddenly stopped his runnln
And stood and began to bark.
| didn't wait a second,
But jerked the lever back.
When saw, scarce ten yards up the cut
A drunken man OH the track.
l couldn't stop her quick enough.
So they both died under the wheels;
But often see. when Pm up at home,
In bed or takin' my meals,
The night express on that lonely track,
That man as drunk as a log,
And say we only killed one brute
And that one warn't my dog!
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
TEMPORARILY DEAD.
A Theory of the Cause OF q Disastrous
Train Wreck.


A Theory of the Cause OF Disastrous
Train Wreck.
Considerable comment has been
caused IN railroad circles over the state
ment made by Fireman Ed. Warboy,
who was on the Inflated WesI-bound
"Cannon-ball" express that dashed into
the east-bound express at Aladdin,
near East Hannibal, about week ago.
Engineer Burchard, Of that train, was
killed, and all the railroad men Won
dered how so careful q man as he could
have run by the switch in the fog as he
did.
When General Manager Hays. of the
Wabash Road, was asked by Republic
reporter how he could account for the
accident which cost several lives and
wrecked the rolling stock of two trains,
he replied that he could only account TOR
it in one way, and that was by saying
that the engineer was lost; that for a
few moments he failed to realize where
he was; did not know just what piece
of track his engine was running
over.
The explanation found confirmation
in the experience of other engineers,
but Burchard had been running on that
particular run for years, and Mr.. Hays
only advances the explanation as rea-
sonable hypothesis to account tor the
accident.
Warboy, the fireman, who was badly
hurt, now says that he thinks the engl-
neer was dead at his post, as he did
not see him take his head from the cab
window after leaving Hull, which is the
next station to Aladdin.
This explanation opens up a fruitful
field for thought. Engineers are as
liable to die from heart disease as other
people, and when one stops to think OF
1t, it is strange that accidents have not
happened from this cause before.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
Half Fare Excursions.

Account of the Republican National
Convention all roads sell at half fare to
Minneapolis, MINI. From June 7th to
18th the Great Northern will sell half fare
tickets, good until June 25th. to northern
Minnesota and North Dakota points. See
Y. D. Jones, 800 Nicollet Ave,
Minneapolis; W. j. Dutch, 1875 f.
Srd St.. st. Paul, or agents in
Union Depots, both cities, tor these excur-
sion tickets. The Great Northern has two
routes from the Twin Cities TO the RED
River Valley. You can go one route and
return another and see more country
than is possible by any other line. For
publications, &c, address or apply to F. /.
Whitney, G. P. d L. A., G. \. Ry., st.
Paul. MINI.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

A COUPLE of months ago Philadelphia
woman brought rustic table made
of the boughs of some trees from which
the bark had not been removed.
About two weeks ago the table began to
| throw cut green sprouts, and now the
NHhole table is in full bloom.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE.
"Voyagers on life's sea,
TO yourself be true,
And whatc'er your lot ruay be,
Paddle your own canoe"


"To yourself be true" "and thou
cans't not then be false to any man.
l"Self-love is not so vile a sin Is self
ineglecting." Then "be wise to-day, it's
madness to defer" Get Dr.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery, for all af-
fectims Of the lungs and throat. 1t is
likewise 3 wonderful liver tonic, and
linvigorator.
All the gear round, YOU may rely upon
Dor. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
lts not like the sarsaparillas. that are
bald to be good for the blood in March.
April and May. The Discovery :"
works equally we'll at all times, and in
bill cases of blood-taints, or humors, no
matter what their name or nature. 1t
lures all Skin. Scalp and Scrofulous
affections. as Eczema. letter, Salt
fheum. Fever-sorcs. White Swellings,
Hip joint disease and Kindred all
Mcnts.
It's the cheapest blood-pnrifier. sold
through druggists, because YOU only pay
for TIE good you get.
Your money is returned it doesn't
benefit or cure you.
Can you ask more !?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

In the Seventeenth Century the favor
tie color of the Scotch Covenanters was
blue, and blue and orange or vel
low became the Wb3ig go eolors after =;
the revolution Of 16sS: Green IS
the color of tha Irish Roman
Catholics, while opposed to it is the
orange of the Oraagemen or Protest
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
Tho Only One Ever Printed-Can
You Find The Word?

You Find The Word?
There is 3-inch display advertisement
in this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one word. The same
is true of each new one appearing each
week from The DR.. Harter Medicine Co.
This house places 'Crescent" on every
thing they make and publish. Look for
it, send them the name of the word and
they will return you BOOK, BEAUTIFUL
AUTOGRAPHS, or SAMPLES FREE.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

j. C. SIMPSON, Marques, w. Va, says:
"HalI's Catarrh Cure cured me of a very
bad case OF catarrn." Druggists sell it,
75c
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02
THERE is only one sudden death among
women to every eight among men.

IF you wish to do the easiest and quick.
est weeks washing you euer did, try Dob
bins Electric Soap next washday. Follow
the directions. Ask your grocer for 1t.
Been on the market "a years. Take nc
other.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

FITs.-All Fits stopped free by DIR. KL1NE's
GREAT NERVE REsToRER. No Fits after first day 8
use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and $2oo trial
bottle free to Fit cases. Send to DR.. Kline. e3l
Arch St, Phila., Pa.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

LpEi. Z. Pmkfams
1t is the only Positive
Cure and Legitimate
Remedy for those Pc
culiar weaknesses and
ailments of women. 1t
acts in perfect harmony
with the laws that gov
eyn the female system
under all circumstances.
Al Druggists sell il. or sen.
= ma;t, II frrm 0f Pills nl
l&zorg =. W. receipt at - ( .oss
iiT': riIs. .s:Fc. torrc,'
tnNn',la,e frc"ly answered
Address ~ confidence.
.ll,A Z. il&K!iAM MED. CO.
LYNN, MASS.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

BEEcHAMs PILLS are painless and ef-
fectual remedy for all bilious disorders. "a
cents box. For sale by ali druggists.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

In Southern Europe $4,000 oranges
have been picked from one tree.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

The coming man will be expected to
have plenty of "go" in him, all the
same.-Boston Courier.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-02

THE Roman augur, in his day, was
probably the biggest bore in the
World.-Picauu1ae.