The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1892-01-16
The PRIEST HAD NO HORNS.
An Incident in the Early Days of Old
Kentucky that Caused Consid.
erable Amusement.


cradle Amusement.
THE ''PARS0N" DIDN'T LIQUOR.
His Hat Was Finally Removed. Followed
by an 0utburst Of Surprise and
Disappointment.
The following anecdote is authentic
and the young priest who was the prin-
c;pal actor in the episode was Rev.
Stephen Hyacinth Montgomery, who,
fifty years ago, was president of the
Athenaeum, on Sycamore street, Cincin-
natl, and who afterwards retired to a
home at the first chapel erected in Gov
ington, Ky. .
In olden times there was much simple
credulity manifested by the uncultivated
pioneers of the West. They we're an hon.
est race, and believed implicitly all they
heard. 1t had been circulated amongst
them in the Kentucky backwoods,
that ministers Of the Catholic faith had
veritable horns, not worn like those of
the Indian braves, as appendant orna-
ments, but growing like those of the
rhinoceros, from substantial flesh and
bone. Vast indeed was the curiosity
which this report, origin uatlng probably
in some rhetorical defamation Of their
clerical opponents, excited throughout
the country. The probable length of
these horns, ns,-whether they were grace
full and branching like those Of the, deer,
coupled like those Of the COW, or short
and chunky" like those of the goat, were
absorbing questions. A shrewd Yankee
would have made a fortune could he
have procured live priest, with the
proper certificates, and Shown him
around the country.
It luckily chanced that a Catholic
priest, pleasant man, and withal, some
thing of wag, journeyed in that direc-
tion. He had been informed Of the To-
cality of the place in which this humor-
Gus opinion which we have alluded to,
was most prevalent. AS he approached
it, he determined to have some smuse-
ment.
1t was summers evening, and light
shower having just fallen, the tavern Of
the respectable village Of P. was more
than usually blessed with visitors. P. was
a. place worthy of particular observation.
On the map it had at least dozen streets
we speak, Of course, of the town-plan,
hung on steamboats, and in taverns. In
reality it had two streets, mutually inter
secting each other; at one of the corners
thus formed. stood the aforementioned
tavern, the most imposing of the houses
of P. It had it's grocery, It's tavern, it's
meeting house, it's blacksmith shop-et
preterea nihil. AS the stranger drove
up every inmate Of the tavern either
came forth upon the porch to meet him,
or else "poked" their heads out of the
windows.
Various and sage we're the remarks
passed upon the newcomer. "He is a
parson, and no mistake, that's sartin, y
said one. ''Them coats as he wears was
made for parsons" said another. The
different remarks were perfectly audible
to the subject of them, who, with the
most easy unconcern, walked immedi-
ately into the house. Scarcely had he
seated himself, retaining his hat tightly
on his head, before Jim Saunders, one OF
the tallest, most gawky amongst them,
sauntered up to him.
II reckon you are stranger in these
parts?" was the preparatory interroga-
tory.
Reckon I am" was the laconic re-
joinder.
"From the cut of your phiz, / opinion
you're buckeye" continued the inquisi-
tor, nothing daunted.
: II calculate you are mistaken"
"You belong to Virginny?"
"Not exactly"
"Pennsylvany?'
"No.''
'New York;"
"No."
"New Jerseyg'
sNo.''