Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1892-03-01
MISCELLANEOUS

-
phatical1y.
-Tommy-'My grandpa has voted
for twelve different presidenta" Jim
my--''Ah. de ole mans not In IT. My
daddy voted twelve times for one presi.
dent "-Indianapoli journal
Lord Devoid-'sHave you ever been
presented at court. Mrs. Lakeside2"
Mrs Lalxeside-"o, lots of timesl There
isn't Judge in Chicago that doesn't
know me. I've been divorced three
times Epoch.
Trade Phraseology. Mrs. Groome
What are jewelers. findings?' Mr..
Groome-''Ahem, guess they're the
small particles of gold and loose dia,
monds found in sweeping out the store"
M you wish to have health, you
must pay particular attention to your
carriage" said the instructor in calls
themes "But we don't keep a car.
riage," responded one young miss. -
Pharmaceutical Era
-Reparation. say, colonel
your dog bit my child, and you've
got to make reparation." Colonel
Brown-"An right, jones' I'll make
suitable reparation. You SADLY may
have the dog."-Yankee Blade.
Good Blood. do you know
that young fellow has got good blood
in his veins2" asked Mrs. oldefamileigh.
"Because he always takes my blood
purifier-only one dollar per bottle" re-
turned DIR. Quackleigh.
Sailing vessels, in recent years,
have been largely superseded by steam
ers; but now the tide is turned, and for
certain kinds of freighting, where time
is not of great consequence, sailing yes.
sells are found more economical than
the steamers which have been EN-.
ployed.
DIR. HERSHEY has added a new terror
to leap year by telling in the American
Medical News how patients have been
cured of severe gastric and other trou.
bles simply by sticking to ice cream as
steady diet. And any number Of
young ladies will rise up and call DIR.
HERSHEY blessed.
In Utica brewery the iron nozzle
of a hose used in steaming out barrels
was accidentally dropped into a keg,
and the keg was filed with beer Some
time afterward customer reported
that he had received one keg of iron
bitters with his last load of beer, which
gave his patrons such appetites that
three men and boy couldn't keep the
free lunch counter stocked.
Solicitors Spouse What makes
you look so worried lately? You're
not like YOURSELF" Great Lawyer
'Well, I'm having considerable trouble
down town" Spouse-"Now you must
tell me all about it." Lawyer-"Well,
you see, I want to keep the office open
till five, and the Office boy wants to
close it at four and we can't seem to
arrange matters"
An ingenious way of smuggling
opium has been discovered by the Gus
toms officers in Puget Sound, and has
been evidently going on for years A
log was sawed lengthwise and hol-
lowed. The halves were then fastened
together with wooden pins, and the
whole filed with contrabrand opium.
Few officers would suspect an innocent
looking log of containing two or three
thousand dollars worth of opium.
j. w. Sandison, the wheat king of
Brandon district, Manitoba, has feft for
Glasgow, Scotland, accompanied by his
wife. Before departing Mr.. Sandison
ordered thirteen new binders, and also
paid the land commission of the Cana
dian Pacific 1872, 900 for land which he
proposes to add to his extensive farm.
Eight years ago Mr.. Sandison went to
Manitoba as a farm laborer.
In 1902 Arthur St Clair, of Cincin-
natl sold piece of land for 81. 25,
which is thus described in the deed:
1.-The Ii, 900 pit. of an inch from the n.
e. corner of lot No. 23 and running
south Il of an inch; thence w. to the
back line of said lot; thence n. 4 of an
inch; thence e. to point of beginning"
This is probably the smallest real es-
tate transaction on record.-N. Y. Trib-
une.
If you want to know how many
years will elapse before you may ex-
pect to be married, balance your spoon
on the edge of your cup, first noting
that it is perfectly dry; fill another
spoon partly with tea, and holding it
above the balanced spoon let the drops
of the tea gather to the tip of the spoon
and gently fall into the bowl of the one
below Count the drops-each one
stands for year.
"A new club was recently organized
at the home of Moncure D. Conway,
in Brooklyn, for the purpose of en-
cOuraglng conversation. About fifty
ladies and gentlemen, some of them
quite prominent in literature and
art, were present at the first meeting
and agreed upon the rules for the gov
eminent of the club A different chair
man presides at each meeting and
gives out the subject for the evenings
talk. After speaking ten minutes, the
chairman will call upon different mem
bers, who will be allowed five minutes
each.
"A nautical journal published on the
Pacific coast asserts that the Mica
raugua canal, if completed will never
be used by sailing vessels for a reason
which applies also to the Panama
Canal On either side of Central Amer
lea, in the vicinity of the proposed en-
frances to the canal, is a region of per-