Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-02-07

sciously crowding you out of the road; they
seem to be innocently and stupidity unaware
that they are doing it. But not so in
Geneva. There this class, especially the
men, crowd out men, women, and girls of
all ranks and raiment consciously and in
acknowledgement them off the sidewalk
and into the gutter.
There was nothing of this kind in Bay
reutb. But here-well, here the thing is as
tonishing. Collisions are unavoidable, un-
less you do all the yielding yourself An
other odd thing-here this savagery is
confined to the folk who wear the fine
clothes, the others are courteous and con-
.siderate. A big burly Copanche with all
the signs about him of wealth and educa-
tion will TRANQUILITY force young .ladiessto
down BY him. It is mistake that there is
no bath that viii cure peoples manners.
But drowning would help.
A Heraldic Design for Austria.
However, perhaps one can't look for any
really snowy amount of delicacy of feeling
IN country where person is brought up
to contemplate without shudder the spec
tacle OF women harnessed up with dogs and
hauling carts. The woman is on one side of
the pole, the dog on the other, and they
bend to the work and tug and pant and
strain-and the man tramps leisurely along
side and smokes his pipe. Often the woman
Is old and gray, and the man is her grand
son. The Austrian national ornithological
device ought to be replaced by grand
mother harnessed to slush cart with a
dog. This merely in the interest of fact.
Heraldlc fancy has been little too much
overworked in these countries, anyway.
Lately one of those curious things hap
pened near here which justify the feIicitoGs
extravagancss of the stage and help US to ac-
cept them A despondent man, bankrupt,
friendless, and desperate, dropped dose Of
strychnia into bottle of whisky and went
out in the dusk to ind handy place for his
purpose, which was suicide. In lonely
spot he was stopped by tramp, who said
he would kill him if he didn't give up his
money. Instead of jumping at the chance
of getting himself killed and thus saving
himself the impropriety and ANNOYANCE Of
suicide, he forgot all about his
late project and attacked the
tramp in most sturdy and val
liant fashion. He made a good fight, but
Jailed to win. The night passed, the morn
ing came, and he woke out of unconscious
ness to find that he had been dubbed half to
death and left to perish at his leisure.
Cheated Out Of His Suicide.
Then he reached for his bottle to add the
finishing touch, but it was gone. He pulled
himself together and went limping away.
and presently came upon the tramp
stretched out stone dead with the empty
bottle beside him. He had drank
the whisky and committed suicide
innocently. Now, while the man who
had been cheated out of his sui
eide stood there bemoaning his hard luck
and wondering how he might manage to
raise money enough to buy some more
whisky and poison, some people of the
neighborhood came by and he told them
about his curious adventure They said
that this tramp had been the scourge of the
neighborhood and the dread of the constab-
ulary. The inquest passed off quietly and
to everybody's satisfaction, and then the
people, to testify their gratitude to the hero
of the occasion, put him on the police, on
good enough salary, and he is all right now,
and is not meditating suicide any more.
Here are all the elements of the naivest
Arabian tale; . man who resists robbery
when he hasn't anything to be robbed of;
does his very best to save his life when he
has come out purposely to throw 1t away;
and finally is victorious in defeat, killing
his adversary in an effectual and poetic
fashion after already hors du combat himself.
And now, if you let him rise in the service
and marry the chief of police's daughter, it
has the requisite elements of the Decide ntal
+ romance, lacking not detail as far as can
see. MARK TWAIN.