The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-02-25

chtttitus MT. JlmSOnS BABY, Delug
wonderfully humorous account Of the
doings Of q certain infant / burned
this story with some other things land
some others to show my father that
his own child could not be outvied in
delicate humor.
In ending this chapter, l will say that
whileoI am by no means satisfied with
these successes, they nevertheless
brought me to higher and more varied
activities.
CHAPTER III
Until the age of two years, at which
] had now arrived, my acquaintance
had been limited to class of people
consisting Of my parents and the nurse.
will not claim that | had always
the penetration to regard these people
with disfavor, but my now advancing
mental strength made this 2natul al
step I therefore, as occasion pre-
sented itself, distracted myself from
their company. and sought the society
of the learned. My first experience of
wider life was afforded by trips that
] took to subterranean cavern beneath
the house.
There existed a marvellous being
fwhom now have occasion to suppose
was our cook, and / baslsed in the
rays OF her Aspasian converse. 1t was
from her that obtained much of my
information. concerning ''boogy" men.
also became acq TAINTED in the true
pronunciation Of the Irish language,
and well versed in the arts Of cookery
Further flor had ever practical
turn ! learned hew=to take cookies,
cake and bread off the table without de-
lection, while things more indigestible
than these the cook would herself
choose out, with wonderful skill, and
present to me.
Among the unique and desirable pos
sessions of the cook was a cat; and a
little computation that / have made
shows that chased this cat more. than
two thousand miles. She fled over a
regular route, which she came to know
SO well that she was always able to
elude me, but which came to know so
well that never for more than an in
slant could she remain in one place.
From under the table she went under
the stove, thence behind basket,
thence she jumped into window seat
She always made a peculiar sharp
sound when dislodged her from this
retreat: and while / stood somewhat
terrified, she took advantage TO jump
under the table again. But | knew
that this position offered no harm. and
fba 1,1rs1,if xuoc racS,,,nanoa1
When the cat and had encored each
others parts long enough to set the
cook into a fit, she would open the door
and drive the cat out. It was in the
language of the soft north of Ireland
that she ordered the cat to leave. and
by fortune it was through this circum-
stance that came more into favor with
my father, who was always anxious
for my linguistic advancement; for.
though l still rendered very i'll each
word that he gave me to pronounce, he
was obliged to own to my mother,
when by chance he heard me say
"Ash-go-roo" to the cat, that / could
initiate the Irish as well as he could
himself-if not better.
/ have since heard him tell Irish dia-
lect stories which he generally tells in
Dutch or Hebrew-and / can bear this
statement out
During this period my mind was
growing apace. At the age of two and
one-half became aware one day that
hiccoughed. Previously / had had no
idea who hiccoughed. At first | tried
to run away from it, but finding this
effort vain, | raped smartly on my
breast, and commanded "Top it,"
CHAPTER ~.
Having now arrived at the age of
three, was allowed to venture out of
doors to join the children of our neigh
bors, whom with wonder I had seen
disporting in strange but Interesting
games before our windows.
For long time after / had joined
them, these little people were a mys-
terry to me, and many a heart-ache Il
experienced at my lack of success in
fraternizing with them.
= In order to make myself welcome
addition to their party, took out with
me (by stealth) my best toys. Where
upon they played express with my
wagon without asking or allowing me
to participates; they rode my velocipedc,
while ! all in good faith, made q laugh
ing-stock of myself by running breath
less at their side; they whipped my top
and answered my approximations by
threats of whipping me. When they
desired it | traded my toys for theirs,
and in these cases had the unhappi
ness of my own dissatisfaction coupled
with the modification of being consid-
cred ninny by my parents, who sup
posed that ] made the trades on my
Judgment. When the children grew
tired of my toys and my complaisance,
they would go apart and play by them
selves, ostentatiously affecting that,
while they found my society distaste-
full, they were fairly intoxicated with
the company of one another. And
when they were ready to quit sport for
the day, they would start a game OF
hide and-seek, and, without question
pitching upon me tor blind, would leave
me to look vainly for them after they
had scattered giggling 10 their homes
Astime advanced, becoming an equal
party in the ventures of the children
upon the street, / entered into their
pursuits with all my natural industry.
We ran our wagons hundreds of miles,
learned architecture in the sandpifes,
instituted systems of money and organ
lied forces of police to cope with bands
of robbers. With one exception all
wcntwcif with me.
There was de sporadic of six who
terrorized our ncighborhood and Of
fered constant menace to our peace, so
that in the end my father felt obliged
to report him TO his parents, and this
was SO wise step that for il week !
hardly burst set foot outside our door.
This enemy was at last soverthrown
in singular way. While making free