Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-11-28
JUST FOR FUN.

elbow treacherous the ocean is -
eyes, it is full of craft"
Teacher-Now, Tommy, tell me who
Jonah.
Teacher-Now who can give an il
lustration of a really striking charac-
ter? Pupil-Jim Corbett.
Gentleman Cat table to waiter)-
Will you take my order? Waiter I
will take your request, sir.
The Lowell lecture course is not by
any means a go-as-you- please race
of talent, but it begins GAS You Like
It."
Prominence has its drawbacks. The
drum major doesn't see nearly as
much of the parade as the man on the
curbstone.
Rev. Sylvanus Lane, of the Cincinnati M. f.
Conference, makes a good point when he says:
1--WE have for years used Hoods Sarsaparilla
in our family of five, and find it fully equal to
all that is claimed for it. Some people are
greatly prejudiced against patent medicines,
medicine and a machine is mystery of mys-
teries to me-" Hoods Pills cure Liver Ills.
When you come right down to the
facts of the case, it's the loose fitting
straw hat that shows which way the
wind blows.
Yeicall that beauty? said Pat. Faith,
can see twenty handsomer women
on Washington street livery day with
me eyes shut.
Clipped from Canapa"Presbyterian," under
signature of c. Blackett Robinson, Prop'r: 1
was cured of oft-recuring bilious headaches
by Burdock Blood Bitters.
He shouldn't say shoulder arms to
those cavalrymen. Why not? They
have nothing but swords. He ought
to say shoulder blades.
Binks is the brightest man / know.
Does he say sharp things? No; but
you ought to hear HIM keep still when
he has chance to say them.
Come here, Jack, and I'll tell you
story, said the visitor. Better not let
papa hear you, said Jack He spanlxs
me when / tell stories.
Cure for Croup.-Use DIR. Thomas Electric I
oil according to directions. 1t is the best 1
remedy for all sudden attacks of colds pain
and inflammation, and injuries
"Ah, my son, when are you going to |
settle down? Remember that a rolling /
stone gathers no moss" 'No; but it
gets tremendous polish"
How shall take my medicine, doc
tor? asked Miss Augusta. Take Tiny
dear young lady, as you would hus-
Oand-for better or for worse.
You are the sleepiest looking indi
vidual l ever saw, said Dick to the
seedy man on the corner. Yes, even
my coat hasn't had nap in some time,
luoth he.
Teacher John, in your essay you
say that George Washington was not
'ond of fishing. Where is your au-
5hority for that assertion? Johnny
Why, everybody knows he couldn't
jell a lie.
Keep it in the house and it will save you
many an anxious nome during the changes
If season and weather we refer to Or. Bulls
Cough Syrup, the best remedy for cough and
old.
What do you know of the character
If this man? was asked of a witness
1t police court the other day. What
10 you know of his character? / know
t to be unbleachable, your honor, he
'eplied with emphasis.
Homeopathic Treatment - Elderly
can't see why you persist
n reading frivolous novels, my dear.
Mrs. Honeyton-For purely improv-
ng reasons, Aunt Ellen. wish to be-
come disguised with frivolity.
She Do you take nothing yourself?
Ie-No. They've passed a law here
hat no man can have glass of wills
Key unless he's been bitten by rattle
'eake, and the only snake in town is
'ix weeks behind his orders now.
Downs Elixir will any cough or cold
10 matter of how long standing.