Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-03-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A tumble-down affair-A wrestling
match. Siftings.
"The great heir of fame"--"Lo, the
Conquering Hero Comes"
The chief attraction about miser is
his charming heirs.-Texas Siftings.
When a man takes fatal step he is
sure to put his foot in it.--Pittsburg
Post.
Advice from the Century Dictionary,
page 490S.-"To pop the question. See
pop."--Life.
An ''ice jam" is anything but a sweet
thing to the Maine logger. er.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
1t is profitable to know ones self; but
there is money in knowing just how
Others rate us.-Puck.
"a simple look is all crave, said he.
"Gaze into yonder mirror and you'll get
it," said she.-New York Journal.
"Cecil Van Dunse gave me piece of
his mind to-day" 81 noticed you
weren't as brilliant as usual. Truth.
When a man resolves to be good and
pbllcut buC HtAt pdlI VI oiOSo iC UuJ5
are sure to pinch him.-Atchison Globe.
Setting broken neck is a great feat
of surgery. Still it doesn't quite come
up to putting head on man.-Boston
Herald.
The world is full of men so engaged
in saying "Amen" that they fail to see
the contribution basket. --Atchison
Globe.
The man who can't keep up with the
procession in this world mustn't expect to
enjoy the music of the band. -Elmira
Gazette.
Unwed-''What is this serveant-girl
question hear SO much abouta" Benedict
-"How many nights may l have otf9"
Boston Post.
"Do you know, don't think much
of Mawson!" "You don't have to. You
can size Mawson up in two seconds. -
Brooklyn Life.
An unpledged legislator may have "a
head of his own," but other men are
making desperate efforts to get his ear
Columbus Post.
Why Two Friends Parted: "Oh,
say, know good thing I'd like to put
you on to-" "What is it?" "Ice. "--
Indianapolis Journal.
OF all the fools, who leads the van?
If it were put to vote
] think he'd be the silly man
Who jumps to catch the boat.
Judge.
Debtor-'T can't pay you anything
f.rrI
YOU told me last month" Debtor
'sWell, 1 kept my word didn't I9"-Texas
Siftings.
Judge (after the jury has acted against
his judgments in acquitting a man,
"Give this man his liberty, but watch
your coats and umbrellas. ."--Fliegende
Blaetter.
Things one would wish to express diff
ferently: "Well, good-by, Miss Smith.
Tell the others | was very sorry not to
find any one at MISUNDERSTANDING
you-a. Punch.
There are people who have lived to
old age for no other reason apparently
than because they have never been able
among the multiplicity of diseases to de-
eide which one to die of.-Boston Tran
script.
D'Aubique-"Miss Daggett was in to
see my color studies yesterday, and said
she liked them immensely. What an
artlcss little creature she is" Sinnick--
.'That's what makes her like your paint
ing. Boston Post.
Mr.. Getup (of the firm of Getup &
HoweiD D-"Where in thunder is that
worthless Office boyY Have you sent
him anywhere9" Nj. Howell--"Yes,
confound him! I've just sent him out to
find another job. Chicago Tribune.
Undertakers are candid people. A
gentleman called at an establishment last
week and ordered an outfit for funeral.
cdr. Blank sent me here" he said.
''Oh, yes," said the undertaken, "Dr.
Blank sends us all his work. London
It'd Bits.