The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1892-04-21

above those | mention, but | consider
them as characteristics of womanhood
and not of ladyhood. A person may be
perfect lady in the exact sense of the
word, and yet be a very contemplate
woman, and she may be an admirable
woman, and a most valuable member of
society, and yet not lady Why, then,
must everybody be classed under the tt
tie of conyentiOnality and despise that
of nature, especially as the former is
much more within our control than the
latter?
ANY woman can make herself an
honor and glory to her sex by develop
ing the Unborn power and beauty of her
womanhood; any woman can rise by
her own persistent efforts to the first
rank among the women of the world
with far more certainty than, as is often
boosted, any free born American man
may rise to the presidential chair She
has but to u'e the faculties, the will, the
mind and the persistence which are hers
by birth, but it is not every woman who
can become a lady by her own efforts,
and self made ladies are never very sat
isfactory to themselves or to anybody
else. There is an ease, an unconscious
ness, a gentle assurance of manner and
a calm expectation of consideration
from other people which are seldom if
ever obtained except by birthright, and
the lack of which are fatal to the per-
lection of ladyhood. AS l said before,
these traits may be joined to bad heart
and a shallow brain, but still the per-
son remains a lady. just as the Cauca-
sian remains white man, although he
commit every sin under the DecaIogue.
Would any one willingly confess to the
bad heart and shallow brain for the
sake of being called lady? 1 think
not. Then why struggle so blindly for
a title which may mean both?
You will say that all ladies are not of
this description, and that many women,
not ladies, are just as bad. True enough,
but then we have no choice as to being
women; no matter how fine or how good
lady is, she is primarily woman, and
has it in her own power to be a good wom-
an in the eyes Of all men, and the advan-
tage of this side of the question is that
good woman is obviously one; You
can't mistake her; she carries the air Of
it about with her, as if it were a robe of
Office. How often have smiled into the
face of some dear old. toll worn, weather
beaten creature whose good honest soul
looked out through her poor tired face,
and all unconsciously proclaimed, a
good woman lives il this uncomely
body, and have given her friendly
word, or pleasant look, or perhaps a
little present in appreciation of the hon
or she did my sex. But | never called
such an one a lady, nor would she have
called herself so; she was something
better
Now do not mean to say that ladies
are never placed in lowly situations, or
that they are any the less ladies for fill
ing them. One lady of my acquaintance
became so reduced in circumstances that
she was glad to accept the position of
scrubber to the floors Of some of our pub
lie buildings, and did the work faithful
ly and well until something better was
offered; nor was she any the less lady
while on her knees washing those floors
than she mad been when, robed in silks,
she received her guests and did honor to
her station.
Many lady, too, has followed her
husband to the western wilds, and while
he delved and hewed and conquered the
wilderness in one fashion, she cooked
and washed and scrubbed and sewed
and made that same wilderness to bios
som like rose with the grace and charm
of her ministrations. But the gentle
man did not cease to be gentleman
nor the lady "a lady because of their
rough toll; they simply found it easier
on that account to rise up to the true no.
bility of manhood and womanhood.
But although every woman cannot
achieve for herself the ease and uncon-
sciousness and nameless air that are the
birthright of certain of her sisters, she
may with care and thought become
ladylike, and often, very, very often,
one meets ladylike women among those
industrial classes who are the backbone
and vitality of our community. But a
woman of this description, especially if
quite young, is often sorely puzzled to
know just what manners, what occupa-
lions and what use of language are lady
like and what are not, and perhaps if
any such chance to read this paper they
will not resent few friendly hints upon
the subject.
In the first place, then, the true lady
is always self controlled; she has her
temper, her bodily movements, her
modes of speech just as much in hand as
a good coachman has his horses; she
may be very much exasperated, but I'M
less she chooses she makes no demonstra-
ton whatever of the fact; if she does
choose, she often utters very cruel and
cutting words, but she utters them in a
quiet, restrained voice, without gesture,
and certainly without raising her voice;
nothing is so absolutely unladylike as
scolding, by which one means loud, noisy |
and uncontrolled vituperation, and the |
genuine lady does not know how to |
show her feelings in that way if she
wished; another thing impossible for
lady to do is to push and elbow her way,
to scramble and wrangle for seat or
front place in crowd, or for any other
desirable thing only to be obtained by |
such methods; self respect is one of her |
chief characteristics, and no front seat |
would repay her for even its temporary
loss; another mark of lady is her |
readiness to accept an apology, and also
her readiness to make one in case of any
dvCIueuG, suCn as having ner lace nounCe |
torn off, or her toes stepped on, or her
precious bit Of china smashed by an