Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-03

it's no time for it now; on with the dance
let joy be unconfned, is my motto, whether
!. there's any dance to dance or any Joy to un-
confine; you'll be the healthier for it every
time, every time, Washington; it's my ex-
perience, and I've seen good deal of this
world Come, where have you disappeared
to all these years, and are you from there
now, or where are you from?"
81 don't quite think you would ever
guess, Colonel. Cherokee Strip"
"My land?"
"Sure as you live"
'You can't mean it. Actually living out
there?"
"Well, yes; if body may call 1t that;
though it's pretty strong term for dobies
and jackass rabbits, boiled beans and slap
jacks, depression, withered hopes, poverty
in all its varieties"
Louise out there?"
"Yes, and the children"
! "Out there now?"
eyes, couldn't afford to bring them with
me-"
"Oh, I see-you had to come-claim
against the G overnment. Make yourself
, perfectly easy-I'll take care of that
"But it isn't claim against the Govern
| ment'
"No? Want to ,be postmaster? That's
all right. Leave it to me- I'll fix it."
But 1t isn't postmaster-you re all astray
| YETI
"well, good gracious, Washington, why
don't you come out and tell me what it is?
What 90 you want to be SO reserved and
dlstrustful with an old friend like me, for?
Don't you Seckon 1 can keep Sc
There's no secret about it-you merely
don't give me chance to-
"Now look here, old friend, I know the
| human race; and l know that when a man
| comes to Washington, I don't care if it's
! from heaven, let alone Cherokee Strip, it's
because he wants something And I know
that as rule he's not going to get it; that
| he'll stay and try for another thing, and
won't get that; the same luck with the next
and the next and the next; and keeps on
till he strikes bottom and is too poor and
| ashamed to go back even to Cherokee Strip;
and at last his heart breaks, and they take
up collection and bury him. There-don't
interrupt me. 1 know what I'm talking
about. Happy and prosperous in the far
West, wasn't /? You know that. Principal
citizen of Hawkeye, looked up to by every
body, kind of an autocrat, actually kind
of an autocrat, Washington. Well, nothing
would do but 1 must go as Minister to St
James, the Governor and everybody insist
ing, you know, and so at last 1 consented
no getting out of it, had to do it, SO here I
came. A day too late, Washington. Think
OF that-what little things change the
worlds history-yes, sir, the place had
been filled. We'll, there 1 was, YOU see l
offered to compromise and go to Paris. The
President was very sorry and all that, but
that place, you see, didn't belong to
the West, so there I was again. There was
no help for it, SO had to stoop little
we all reach the day some time or other
when we've got to do that, Washington,
and it's not bad thing for us either, take
it by and large all around-I had to stoop q
little and offer to take ConstantinopIe,
Washington; consider this-for it perfect
ly true-within month 1 asked for China;
within another month 1 begged for Japan;
one year later I was away down, down,
down, supplicating with tears and anguish
for the bottom Office in the gift Of the Gov
ernment of the United States-fint-picke
in the cellars of the War Department. And,
BY George, 1 did't get it.
''Flint-picker?"
ayes. Office established In the time of
the Revolution, last century. The musket
f1ints for the military posts were supplied
from the Capitol. They do it yet; for al
though the flint-arm has gone out and the
forts have tumbled down, the decree hasn't
been repealed-been overlooked and forgot
ten, you see-and So the vacancies where
still get their six quarts of gun flint year
Just the same.
Washington sale, musingly after pause:
"How strange it seems-to start for Minis
ter to England at SIC, 900 year and fail for
fint.picker at"
''Three dollars week. It's human life,
Washington-just an epitome of human |
ambition, and struggle, and the outcome:
you aim for the palace and get drowned in
the sewer"
There was another meditatiye silence.
Then Washington said, with earnest COM
passion in his voice:
''And SO, after coming here, against your
inclination, to satisfy your sense OF patriotic
duty and appease a selfish public clamor,
you get absolutely nothing for it.
"Nothing." The Colonel had to get up
and stand. to get room for his amazement to
expand. Nothing, Washington? 1 ask
you this: To be perpetual member, and
the only perpetual member, of diplomatic
body accredited to the greatest country on
earth--do you call that nothing?"
1t was Washlngton's turn to be amazed.
He was stricken dumb; but the wide-eyed
wonder, the reverent admiration expressed |
in his face were more eloquent than any |
words, could have been. The Colonel's |
wounded spirit was healed, and he resumed |
his seat pleased aud content. He leaned |
forward and said impressively:
What was due to a man VINO had be- |
come forever conspicuous by an experience |
witt out predence in the history of the |
worli?-a man made permanently and |
systematically sacred, so to speak, by hav-
ing been connected temporarily, through |
with every single diplomatic |
post il the roster of this Government, from
Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Pleni-
potentlary to the court of St. James all the
way down to consul to guano rock in the
Straits OF Sunda-salary payable in guano
which disappeared by volcanic convulsion
the day before we got down to MY name in
the list of applicants. Certainly something
august enough to be answerable to the size
Of this unique and memorable experience
was nay due, and got it. BY the common
voice of this community, by reclamation of
the people, that mighty utterance which
brushes aside laws and legislation, andfrom
whose DEGREES there is no appeal, was named |
perpetual member of the diplomatic body,
the multltarious sovereignties
and civilizations OF the globe near the Re
publican court of the United States of
America. And thev brought me home with
D torchlight procession"
'tIt is wonderful, Colonel, simply wonder
full"
'It's the loftiest official position in the
whole earth. 7"
81 should think so-and the most COM
nanding."
F"You have narned the word. Think of it.
Z frown, and there is war; smile, and con-
tending nations lay down their arms"
"It is awful. The responsibility, 1 mean"
at is nothing Responsibility is no bur-
7 L