The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-10-08
Col. hams Campaign Stories.

Col Ham is a clean-shaven. hard-mouthed
looking man, with the merriest twinkle OUT OF
the corners OF his bright eyes while he gets
ready for big punch into the ribs Of the other
side that man ever saw. says the Augusta
Chronicle. He is about feet 10, broad shoul-
dered and lunches up his shoulders he talks
to get his harness right as it were. He never
smiles while speaking. He seems TO take 1t as
a joke that other people laugh at what ne says.
1t is all a very serious matter with him.
He declared that he felt, when he started to
speak in the plight of little Johnny whose
mother sent him to get a basket or chips
Johnny was merry little fellow, and he
went and put the basket down by the WOodpile,
and the first thing Johnny knew he had been
down IN the pasture half an hour, and his
mothers voice was calling him. Aud the voice
had arising infiexion at the last Of it-'John-e
and Johnny knew what that meant, he had
heard It before. The way he got back to that
woodpile was astonishing. But he was too late.
he didn't have time TO get the chips. Into the
house he went And he was lit onto with
end Oft.
Where are those ohipsY
" All, ah me- Johnny explained, you know
our bull, old Buck? Well, old Buck was at the
wood pile, and he would put his foot on every
single chip went to pick up. "
Explaining the operations Of the tariff to the
southern people Col Ham said:
There was a colored man down in Thomas
Vile who sized the tariff up this way: II don't
know much about it, but it seems to me sorter
is down here, and we a feedip' it and stuffin'
1t with hay and stuff. And de tail of dat COW is
up yonder at de norf and dey is milkin' her;
dey does de mIkn and we does de teedin'.
say turn her aroun' an let US milk awhile, an
let them feed awhile have come here to tell
you that the Democratic party is the only party
on the green earth that is trying to turn that
COW around"
He said that his good friend Bill Virgins and
friend Of his named John were in Atlanta not
long ago. "And while they were seeing things
BIZ lmbbed systematically this Atlanta whisky
well, the result was that when Bill and John
got 20 the depot to come home Bill was pretty
drunk on Atlanta whisky. And he had bottle
OF 1t IN his pocket. john he says (hicl, take
this bottle (hicl and don't give me none (hic) till
l get to Jonesville.'
We'll, coming down on that train it looked to
BIZ Virgins like he was never going to get to
Jonesv1lle. He asked the conductor when he
came through: How far Is it to Jonesvilie?'
twenty miles Goodness, he was hardly out
OF Atlanta, He asked again Fifteen miles,
The brakeman passed through, and Bill asked:
1Hic) how far is it to Jonesville?' Thirteen
miles. Directly the brakeman holered Jones'
ville.'
That bottle John!' said Bill, jumping over
10 John, and he drank and drank until he had
drunk half pint of it-that Atlanta whisky.
Well Bill went out on the steps and passed his
time for some time, and after a while, when ne
could he got up and went inside, and he said:
Jonesville is the - sickliest place ever was
in. didn't stay there half an hour and l liked
to died. And tell you Jonesville had about as
much to do with Bill Virgins sickness as the
Democratic party has with the depression Of
the country, as the third party tells you it has -