The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-05-02
k0B0LDS ARE TO 81 me.
The Wicked Little sprites That Cause
Much Trouble in This
World.
When Anything Coos Wrong They
Are Sure to BE
Around.
IT Ia Mon Who Suffer From Them Most, as
Gentle Woman liz Injured to
DIsooIn fort.

Gentle Woman Ii Injured to
DIsoom fort.
We do not know that any ons h IS evel
gravely claimed to have seen ono, And YET
there ia no doubt whatever that here arr
such beings. Else who Is it that wrenches
off our shirt buttons, mislays on keys
maken our pen splutter and ~tioltlea i % in in
accessible regions Of our back when VIZ
want to look important? II we could catch
n We should pin him down, classify him,
put him undcr a glass case and ask rude
questions as to his parentnge and habits.
But the kobolds have been spared this last
i%ndignity. There are no specimens in the
Natural History museum. There arc some
people who even doubt their existel zee and
offer the most ridioulously comm pnplace
explanations OF their pranks.
Y Have you never found, when dressing in
the morning, that everything you don't
want conspires TO got into your WI y, and
that everything you do want pei sists in
getting out Of III? Your razor i lbs and
notches your chin, the soap splash % into
your eyes, 5 our toothbrush tumbles into the
water jug and you have to drodge for it,
and. finally, your collar stud break loose
and rolls into limbo. You hunt il wildly
round and round the room. and fnd lily run
it to earth in the fartheat corner IN der the
bed. Your wife will make irroley ant re-
marks about late hours and refer III conse-
quentially to Tint horrid club. Blu she is
quite wrong. 1t is the kobolds.
And have you never carefully put . letter
away in a particular place, exped ting to
find it there when you came backp When
you did come back have you never found
that the letter had Disappeared? HH ve you
not gone raving about the house, bur rowing
behind bookcases, prodding corner rs and
oyerturning furniture, while your lie fol-
lowed behind and mildly deplored ID ur mn
tidy habits? Again she is %udiorously
wrong. It is the kobolds who took that lot
ter when you were not1ookino and PIT it in
your pocket, where it has been all til time.
The kobolds love to make for you in the
to catch the carly train. They
start by breaking q boot-lace, they hide
your gloves ond brush your hat the wrong
iwav, they blow ont the light when you try
70 light q cigarette and fasten yout coat
tails in the front door as you slam it behind
YOU. CI tuS way 10 GuS EGatlOu Cu6 leEfule
OF your umbrella catches in SOM thing.
You stop with a jerk and look doyV n. 1t
appears to he only n grating, but it ID really
a kobold. When they have once decided to
spend a day with a man he seldom cts rid
of them before he turns into bed at night.
He is certain to losa his temper before long,
and then it is all up with him.
There is nothing that amuses them SO
much as & man in a temper. They get lis
tie bits of mud from passing hanson ms and
dab them ON his collar. They get SHUTS
from the chimneyB and smear them On his
nose where he can see them, but can not To-
calize them; they collect little puffs Of wind
from street corners and blow his hat over
aroa buildings and into mud heaps; they
.tweak his necktie into & otesauo Ahapes
md drop his eyeglasses into the gutter.
They dance invisibly round him, Tnlling,
pushing, pokinq, pinching, proddin : and
1elting him, and the madden he grows tho
more they enjoy themselves.
In the evening they are still at 1t. They
spill his wine on the tablecloth and Sc nd the
soup down the wrong way: they I'LL his
mouth with fish bones; they loosen the top
of the repper castor and empty Its Co tents
into his plate; they get into his ia vorita
pipe and clog it SO it will not draw. His
wife explains as he sits putting and slowing
Rt'the mouthpieoe, that this wouldn't hap
pen if he cleaned his pipes out regularly
which is absurd; because lie was &c ing to |
Clean tflefn al CUT Io-InOffoW. Whatever
he attempts tine kobolds are before hand
with him.. They make the gas wobb] Q and
md the chairs creak, and put hairs in his
pen, until he finally gives in and decides
that tho day is a failure. And thon Ii finds
they have hidden the corlseorew. TIL " arc
humorous little creatures, without much
malice in them.
The s~tendy-going, methodical maj they
leave alone-the man who cuta up paper
into little squares ovor night to wi, 9 his
razor on in the morning and puts all d. is cab
fares in on account book before goi ne TO
bed. 1t is the cratic, unsystematic follow
whom they attack, the man who stuffs
checks into chimney ornaments and does
not fold up his night shirt in tho mc ming.
The cold-bloodei man, when he misses one
train, buys a paper and waits patiently for
the Eext; the kobolds leave him alor =. It
is no fun pinching a man who won't stamp
and swear.
Women, I suppose, suffer from them
occasionally, but not as men do. W omen
are Injured to discomfort from the tima
when they gather up their back hair, lot
out the final tuck in their skirts and claim
to be IL. a being who can stagger about
I'LL day. On a pair Of four-inch heels, with
who can submit to have her nose tick ed by
a veil and her heels clogged with petit
coats, never losing her temper or suying a
wicked word-such a being oan alto d no
sport for the kobolds. They would die of
ennui Bnt to a man they are a very real
torment. Not that thev break his legs,
gouge out his eyes or inflict any ir5epa rabls
injury upon him; but they aie at tho bot
tom of all those petty worries and minor
accidents which make up the sum of a mis-
cradle day.
The koGolds are invisible; unfelt by 9 very
one but their victim. Our big trials, our
griefs, bad as they are, have
generally some dramatic interest in them
and insure II sympathetic public. We, COM
monplRcs persons az we doubtless are. could
face II dramatic emergency with credit; we
could, like Regulua. leave Rome and friends,
Inter ohstantas catervas," for Carthage
and tho torturer, if we knew that the histo-
tian with his note book was Watching the
proceedings. We could brave the stage
lightning and plunge off the practicable
rock into the boiling tide after the hel oinc.
whom the gallery boys IRE holding their
breath for the appreciative whistle, We
could all be heroea with the lime light on
ne. But 81 man must be more or less than
to srend q day with the kobolds md
keep his tempet.-I4ondon Globe,
Pronounced Hopeless, Yet saved
From a letter written by Mrs. Ada r..
Jy-.1 - Sy~aka - ~ l -.