The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-10-26


other case persistent sailing would be sure
to bring him within sight OF either Europe
or Africa. In neither case could he so far
| overrun his reckoning as to sarriTs unex-
| peCtedly at some point in the interior Of q
continent. TIE facts prove that this was
precisely tho way in which Columbus naYi-
! gated his ship When steering for Amer
ica he never knew where he would fud
land, and was satisfied IL he reached any
one OF the countless large and small West
India islands. and on returning to Spain
there was as much probability that he
would hnd himself ct the Azores or at the
mouth Of the .Tagus as at any Spanish
poFt.n
And summing up the whole matter. Mr..
Alden rightly believes that almost any one
OF the Thousands OF contemporary Italian
sailors could have fouEd the West indies as
easily as Columbus found them, provided
the hypothetical sailor had possessed suffl-
Gent resolution to sail westward until the
land should stop his way. What we should
properly be called upon to admire in Colum-
bus as q navigator Of unknown seas is the
obstinacy with which no adhered TO his pur-
pose Of sailing due wet until land should
be found, no matter ii It should take all
summer.
TwAIN's ATTEMPT.
A greater humorist than Mr.. Alden has
p0ked good natured fun ct the Colum bus
worship. But it was the more or less
Fictitious emotion OF the G0noese cicerOni
which Mark Twain delighted to stultify.
Being unable to do without guide, be de-
termined to get amusement out Of him as
remuneration for the affection OF his
society. He has chronicled the result Ia
famous chapter in his "Innocents Abroad. :"
The guide finding that Mark Twain's party
we're Americans and knowing the wonder
and rapture which Americans always ex-
k.F1 ali - ~, b,,.
them TO the municipal palace 80 gaze upon
''ze letter writing by Christopher Colombo!
Write it himsslfl-write 1t wis his own
haHdl Comem
CATER much impressive fumbling Of keys
and opening Of locks the stained and aged
document was spread before US. The guides
eyes sparklsd. lie danced about US and
tapped the parchment with his finger.
"'What tell you, gentlemen! Is it not
sol Seel handwriting Christopher Columhol
write il himselfr
"We looked Indifferent, unconcerned. The
doctor examined the document very de-
liberately during painful pause. Then he
said, without any show Of interest:
"Ah-Ferguson- did you
say was the name Of the party who wrote
thisP
"'Christopher Colombol Re great Chris
TOPPER Colombop
'Another deliberate examination.
"'Ah-did he write it himself, or-or
howe
"'He write it himself! Christopher Co
lombo he's own handwriting; write by
himselfr
Then the doctor laid the document down
and said:
"'Why, have seen boys in America only
IA years old that could write better than
that"
FIRST TIME CHRIS. WAS EVER ON BUST
la vain the guide protests and calls atten-
tiOa again and again to the fact that 10 is
the great Christopher The Americans de-
clare the hand writing Is the worst they ever
saw, warn him that no must not attempt
TO impose upon them because they are
strangers, that they are not tools by good
deal, and order him, if he has get no speci-
mems OF meritOrious penmanship TO trot out,
tnen to drive them on TO the next place.
They drive on. The guide il considerably
shaken up, but he makes enc more venture.
He takes ths visitor TO see bust Of Colum-
bus. Mr.. Twain shall resume the narratives:
HE brought us before the beautiful
bust-for it was beautful-and sprang
back and struck an attitude.
"'Ah, look, genteelmen!-beautiful,
grand-bust Christopher Colombo beau
tiful bust, beautiful psdestalr
The doctor put up his eyeglass, pro-
cured for such occasions:
Au-WhaG ulu you say bnAS Renble'
mans name wasP
/" christopher Colombo re great Christie
pher Colombop
Christopher Colombo-ths great Chris
topher Colombo. Well. what did he do7'
"Disoover America discover America.
Oh, re dell!
" Discover Americal No; that state
mens will hardly wash. We are just from
America ourselves. We heard nothing
- hout IL Christonhar ClOlOrn ho-Dlaasant
name-is--is he desdp
Ion, corpo di Bacchol three hundred
yearsr
"'What did he die Off
"I do not know! l cannot tell
Smallpox, Think
81 do not know. gantlemenl do not
know what he died Off
Measles. llkelyP
"'May be- may be, do not know. 1 think
he die of something's
parents hvingp
'Im-pOSseblep
"'Ah. which is the bust and which is the
psdestalF
Santa Msrial-zis re bust-zi zs pc
destalr
"Ah, Issee, Isee-happy combination
very happy combination, indeed. Isis
this the first time this gentleman was ever
on bustP
.sTbat Joke" concludes Mark Twain,
twas lost on the foreiRneE-Euides canuot
master the subtlsties Of the American
joke"
But after all this deliberate and made-up
fun, this pretended ignorance, excellent as
it is, is not as delightful as the unconscious
humor Of real ignorance which has fire.
quently played around the subject Of
Columbus. Mark Twain has himself
acknowledged this.
EVERYTHING HAPPENED IN l492.
In 1887 Miss Caroline B. lie Row issued
little book called English as She is Taught. "
70 was "A collection Of a number OF genuine
answers to examination questions in our
public schools. she was herself teacher.
From time 10 time. during many years,
whenever a pupil delivered himself OF any
thing particularly quaint or toothsoms this
teacher or her associates privately set that
thing down in a memorandum book. Then
when the manuscript had reached fair
dimensions she sent it TO Mark Twain, ask
ing him whether he thought it ought 20 be
published or not. He promptly said YES"
aud further in an article in the Century he
called attention TO 1t as "a darling literary
curiosity" and thought that its unconscious
drollery was inimitable.
In the answers to historical questions he
was specially impressed with the depth to
which one date had been driven into the