The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1892-01-29
",TwAs EVER THUS.
A would lie PubIlc Bcnefactor Who
Was Not Appreciated.

Was Not Appreciated.
"Please give me dime"
I was seated in the Mall at Central
Park lacking at the statue of Robbie"
Burns and thinking thoughts that many
man has thought before about his ill
starred life, when my reveries were thus
turned into another channel. l didn't
like il.
"Why the devil should give you
dime?" replied sharply, hoping thereby
to get rid of him.
But it didn't have the desired effect.
He wasn't an every day sort of tramp,
although his apparel was shabby enough.
There was q moldy air Of better days
about him. lie heayed n whisky tainted
sigh, and seating himself alongside OF
mel couldn't resent that, because he
had Just as much right to n seat as had
he began to unfold his tale.
al recognize in you," he began, "a
kindred spirit I, too, am n worshipper
at the shrine Of genius. Nothing delights
me so much as TO see the memory of
great men fittingly honored. Years ago,
in n fit of generous enthusiasm, | con-
ceived q scheme which. had it been
favorably received, would have filled this
park and all other parks and public
squares in tho land with statues of man
kinds greatest bencractors.
But pardon me, " he added, interrupt
Ing his narrative, do you happen to have
the mate to that cigar about you!"
| told him that hadn't.
III .,,'I
I'll take q chew Of tobacco, if you happen
to have it.
told him had none.
Another whisky tainted sigh impinged
itself upon my olfactory organs, and
then he continued:
Nothing so helps a man to rise SUI
perior t. the petty and soul enthraliug
concerns of every day life Us the contem-
plation and study of true greatness. TO
assist in the attainment of thatlofty state
of mind there is nothing so effective as
the presence OF the counterfeit present
ments of men who have lowered like sun
kissed mountain peaks above their fell
lows. With that conviction strong upon
me | abandoned the haunts of men and
gave myself up to thought. In due time
the inspiration came. At the lowest est-
mate there are 100000 men in this
country who get shaved by BARRIERS on an
average three times a week. AT an alb
surdly low estimate that involves an ex-
penditure of 80 cents week by each
man. That, sir, as have proven over
and over again, amounts to $l,20O,00O
week or S62 400 coo q wear
Just think Of it, All that money
practically thrown away. l proposed
that these 100000 should form vast
anti shave or shave yourself associa-
ton, and that the money thus saved
should be put into fund to purchase
statues for beautifying our parks and
places of public resort. All the reward
that l asked was that l should be made
the treasurer of the fund. Had the
scheme been carried out the artistic beau.
ties of ancient Greece would be as nothing
compared with ours. But my scheme
fell unheeded on the miserable horde Of
mercenary self seeking men who libel
this country by calling themselves Amer
leans. That was 10 years ago. As you
may perceive, if you observe me closely,
have not shaved from that day to this.
tried to be public benefactor. Society
scornfully rejected my offering. There
fore, society owes me a living. And that,
sir, is why I ventured to ask you for a
dime"
Hi, there! get out of this" harshly
exclaimed Park policeman, who had
stolen upon us IInawares. Didn't tell
you I'd give you taste of me club if
caught you around here AGAIN."
"Shades of Scott, and Burns, and
Shakespeare" muttered the tramp as he
shuflied off. HAS it come to this-that
your most ardent devotee should be the
sport and jest of sparrow cop?"--M.
Quad