Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1892-02-27

"arir Rise md Decline, with II Word
About Some Antique Jests.

About Some Antique Jests.
Mark Twain again enters the news
paper arena as q professional humoriot.
Of recent years he has followed the much
more lucrative business of book publish
ing and has made money rapidly In
fact, he now is a rich man. His new de-
parture, therefore, appears to have been
undertaken with the hope of improving
great and good reputation. If his in
itial letter may be accepted as IL fair
sample of the series to follow, the humor-
ist will be doomed to disappointment
There is nothing on this earth that is sad
der than humor which is not humorous,
and it is beyond the power of any man to
originate humor and scatter it broadcast
continuously. The sources are quickly
exhausted, and the funny man. soon
runs dry and becomes dull and prosv.
The result is that the humorist who
cares for his reputation is obliged to
quit writing just at the time when the
public expects his best work. Where
now are the Danbury Ners man. the
NorriStown Heruid man. the Duluth
Ptr0Ur"pIter, the Summervile Joulmdl
man. the Terre llaute Express man, and
dozen others who amused the Ameri-
can reading public lately? Not gone
and certainly not forSotten-but pumped
dry. Humor, like news, must be new if
it attracts and holds public attention.
"Chestnuts" can not be tolerated in pro-
fessional humorist The freshest ard
brightest bon mots fades quickly enough
and falls by the waysde Every one
which gains currency exhausts the store
Of its author and reduces his capital.
Long continued humorous writing leaves
him a bankrupt in the end.
This is why Eli Perkins has abandoned
humor and taken to lecturing on the
tariff; it is the reason for Bob Burdette's
retirement at Bryn Mawr: Bill Nve's let
ters Of to-day, when compared with those
of few years ago, tell their owD story
and point to an irresistible conclusion.
Humorous writing is not easy From
the writer's standpoint it is anything else
than funny. 1t is well known fact that
the average man is firmly convinced that
he could dash off firstsclass jokes with
out limit if he only chose to do So Try
it. Take up your pencil and jot down a
few. If you hope to see them in print,
however, please keep this brief and in
complete index eXpurgatorius before
your eyes:
Self respecting journals in this wear of
our Lord do not want jokes about the
mother in law; the goat; the lover, and
the bulldog; the wooer and the fathers
boot; the daughter and the coal or gas
Dill: the spring chicken; the spring
poet; the mule; the stovepipe; the rail
way sandwich; the man who comes
home from the lodge; the church fair;
the church fair stew; spring cleaning;
carpet shaking; the young man who
pawns his clothes; bodily aiIment: coun-
try cousins imposing on city cousins or
vice versa; high hats at the theater; low
necks anyW where: shrewish wives; bad
husbands; ice cream in all lis forms; tho
cook and kerosene can; the husband who
lights the fire; the dude; the tariff (the
tariff is no joke; the banana skin; cir
Gus lemonade; the cat on the back fence;
the bootjack (who wears boots nova
days. the boarding house; boarding
house fare the actor who walks home the
plumber; the gas meter; the hackman:
drunkenness Gntoxication, however, is
permissible if there is any fun it,: the
small boy and the green apple; the toy
pistol; the small boy on thin ice; Susan
b. Anthony; grandfather's hat; the Eng
lish cad Phoebe Couzins: the free lunch;
the soda water wink; Joe Mulhattton,
and all jokes that are not fresh or too
fresh. Chicago Herald