Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1892-12-30
PARs0N ELVES.

Last November was staying down a
one little seaside village of 2. in the west
country. having gone there for the benefit
Of my health and to enjoy the unusually
mild climate of the locality. had my
quarters at the village inn-a most prim
tive hostelry. though very clean and
comfortable. And in the evenings
would often go and smoke my pipe in the
taproom and amuse myself by listening to
the quaint conversation of the simple
rustics who frequented it.
1t was from the lips of one of these men
that heard the story which | am now
about to relate. He was queer old chap,
quite Il character, trimming full of | cal
lore and legend, and he interested m 50
much that lost no opportunity Of draw
ing him out
One evening-it was Nov. in last year
l happened to say to him:
"Let me see; tomorrow's Guy Fawkes'
Day. lsuppose you have great goings on
in the village, don't you?'
He shook his head solemnly and an
swered
"Nay, nay, measter. We don't keep no
Guy Fawkes' Day here Used to do once
upon time But it's been given up ever
since what happened about Parson Elves"
what was that?" inquired
Haven't you heerd then?' he replied
'Maybe you'd like me to tell 'ee?''
! signified assent, and settling myself
comfortably in my chair prepared toll zen
to what knew from he old fellows dis.
cursive style of narration) would be a toler
ably long yarn.
WELL" he began, "it's main long time
ago-forty years AS reckon it. But can
rec'llect it all clear as though it had hap
pened yesterday. Parson Elves he wer
vicar O. this parish. A fine young man he
wer. too-strong and tall and lithesome as
any one ever see. Heart alive! How he
could play cricket and run and jumpl 1t
wer sight to watch him. He wer only
twenty seven. Too young, sez for to be
parson of a parish, for he hadn't got and
couldn't have the experience of us poorer
folk and our ways and feelings, which
parson amt no use at all without
HE wer good in his heart. wer young
Parson ELVES, and meant as well as any
one. But he didn't go the right way to
work with us. He had new tangled no
tions about the services, and would have
this altered and that altered, all as head
strong as could be, never saying with your
leave or by your leave to the wishes of the
congregation.
swell. we didn't like this, for we've al
ways been old fashioned folk here, and
the old fashioned ways lad done very well
for the likes of we. So we got into re:su-
lar fend with parson. And there sprung
up another cause for discomfort in parsons
treatment of diSsenters. He was al .vays
saying things agin 'em in his sermons
preaching about the deadly sin of schism
and what not-until he not only stirred
them up to wrath, but also a good many
of the church folk as WELL for there was
hardly a family, but where some wer dis
senters. And people didn't like having it
preached at 'em that their parents, it
might be, or husbands or wives. wer in
danger of the unsquenchable fire.
And so matters got terrible bitter be
twixt parson and the people, until by the
time he'd been in the place year many
on us were ready to join in any mortal plan
for spiting un."
The old fellow here paused to relight his
pipe, which had gone out in the course of
his narration. When he had got it fairly
started again he resumed:
1T wer just as the 5th o. November
wer coming on, and Farmer Scrivner-him
as had BrookleaZe, where Farmer Giles do
live now-and wer the principal dissenter
in the place, set on foot the notion of burn
ing parson in efigy on Gunpowder Day.
with hooting and groanings and all sorts
of insults.
swell, measter, as | have said, folks
was then just about ripe for spiting par
son. and the proposal took on like any
thing. We went i'll for carrying of it out
g'lar heart and soul, and we made IL
ure just parsons height and size, and Bill
Nodo, as were village tailor then, he made
a suit of broadcloth, just like parson wore,
and all of us paid SO much toward the val
ue of the stuff. And then some one else
went into town and bought a proper hat
parsons it wer eXactly-and when the
figure wer dressed up, ready for carrying
around and burning, shure it might al
most have been taken for Parsons very
self.
"God bless my soul and body-how we'll
do remem Der that night! We carried the
effigy along as far as the vicarage gate,
and there we stopped and set up yelling
and kissing. And Farmer Scrivner, he
calls for three groans for parson, and we
gives 'em, and three times three afterward.
Then parson comes out and tries to speak
to us, but we browns his voice with shout
ing and groaning, SO that he goes in again
and shuts the door.
~ hen we'd done that part of the job
we took up the dummy again and carried
it on toward Brooks piece, the big field
hard by Brookleaze, which is the hig hest
point in the village, and where we were
going to burn parson in effigy. Eth, what
a scene it was! The great pile of faggo5s
cracking and blazing, and parsons effissy
a-thrown on the top, while every one was
a-pelting it and poking it with sticks, and
grooming and hoOting like a lot of savage
beasts, and the flames and Redeemed smoke
leaping up against the sky as eager as
though they enjoyed their share in it all.
I'VE kept this up for close on an hour,
until the fire was almost burned out. Au'
then lot OF the men among US came down
here to the Ring O. Bells to wind up the
evening with a drink. And we needed it
most on u.s. for our thrOats wer we'll nigl
raw with yelling Farmer Scrlvner, ne
wer in great feather that night. He stood
drinks all round, and laughed and TESTED
about the burning Of parsons effigy, and
we all chimed in and joked and jeered mer-
rily away until five minutes past IL by
that very clock (pointing to the old time
piece over the firepaceefive minutes past
II! ! rememb Der the time as clear as though
1t were yesterday.
''Then all on sudden Jem Sandford-
he were the farmers cowman-comes rush
ing in at yonder door, with his face all pale
and startled like and sorely out of breath.
'Measter,' he gasps, 'Measter Scrivner,
come quick: thy house be on frep
My house on ire?' cries farmer, catch
ing up his hat. MY house on fire. dost
thee sayp
faye answers Jem. I saw the flames
bursting from thy roof as | came along the
road, and I've run straight to tell thee!
Farmer didn't wait to ask any more
questions, but went off sharp for his house,
and we all followed to give what help we
could. We were soh4red and made serious