The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1892-08-12
The RIVER PLATTE.
Walt Mason INDUCES in Airy Persifage
at the Expense of That Noble Stream.

Especial Correspondence
FREMONT, Neb., July 21.-The close
student of that excellent magazine, The
Congressional Record, will have noticed
that able statesmen have lately beer
making occasional references to the
Platte river, sometimes respectfully and
sometimes with levity. One congress.
man spoke enthusiastically of the vast
possibilities Of the western country il
the Platte We're made navigable, but
that will be impracticable for many
| years, or until some scheme has been
devised whereby the river may be kept
moist in the summer months.
1t is not my purpose to give a geo
graphical sketch of the Platte or of the
country through which it deliriously
wanders; anybody who has map can
locate the wonderful stream and its
forks and branches
The Platte varies from half mile to
two miles in width, and in the spring is
frequently quite wet, as then the floods
come from the mountains, and there is
so much water that a certain degree of
dampness is inevitable. To the eyes of
stranger at this season the river would
seem a truly magnificent affair, for the
water spreads over a great deal of coun-
try and is SO muddy that he cannot see
how close TIE bottom is to the surface;
but in the heat of summer and in the
fall and winter the spectacle is not SO
sublime. for the river bed is dry and
dusty in most places and seems to be
yearning for system of street sprinklers.
If paved it would make an excellent
promenade, but the idea of paving the
Platte doesn't seem to have occurred to
the Napoleons of intellect who furnish
the material for The Congressional Rec
ord.
Artemus Ward expressed the belief
that the Platte would be good river if
set ON edge, and Bill Nye describes it as
having wide circulation, but little in
fuence. Perhaps in future years, when
irrigating bitches have been dug across
it, the brother-in-la of waters will not
be the subject of so many heartless jokes.
This feverish stream is in one respect
the superior of any other in the world.
AS a resort for people who earnestly
contemplate suicide it has charms pecu-
liarly it's own. When the world weary
pilgrim on life's rough way goes to the
ordinary river to end his existence the
only thing he can do is to jump into the
water and be drowned, which plan lacks
all the elements of originality and does
not commend itself to the educated
mind. When the suicide goes to the
Platte, however, he cannot drown him
self unless he brings water along with
him for the purpose; but there is no &C.
casion for despair. All he has to do is
to walk along the river bottom until he
strikes quicksand, and the probabili-
ties are that he won't be wearied by the
journey, for quicksands are frequent.
Having done this much the suicide may
take it easy, for the sand will do the
rest, and he will find himself sinking
slowly and gracefully to mysterious
grave. The process gives him plenty of |
time to think and also an opportunity to |
yell for help if he changes his mind |
when half engulfed and decides that |
there is really no rush-rbout dying.
Many a man has been lost in these
luicksands with no idea of suicide, and
I'D settlers tell weird tales of travellers
who ventured to cross the apparently
,afe river bottom and were seen no
more; step into the yielding mass
meant an awful, hopeless struggle for
ife and disappearance from the sur
ACE of the earth forever. If half the
stories are true (and a good many of
hem are known to be) there are hun
ireds of dead men and women in the
down under the sands.
Years ago, according to one legend,
elated by an aged man with a beard
ike that of Druid, two brothers lived
ogether in rude dugout near the juno
ion of the Platte and Wood rivers.
They spent their days hunting quarrel
ng and drinking, and occasionally
Unused themselves in romantic way
" throwing such animals as they had
wounded or captured into a great, hun
Try quicksand which adorned the bed of
he Platte, and which had an all absorb
ng appetite.
SLC VI Ilt4A uOfClOpCu llIlO q
ght, and the larger and stronger of the
wo succeeded in pushing his brother
nto the hungry sand, and then sat on
he river bank and watched with grow
1g interest the strange process of liv-
1g entombment. The man who was in
be Shiny embrace of the sand cursed a
reat deal at first, as he thought it was
lerely an innocent jest, such as he might
ave played himself, but when he had
lnk to his waist he quit cursing and
nplored his brother to help him out,
ut the brother was enjoying the scene
nd said nothing; and then the sands
rawled to his breast, and to his throat, n
nd he cursed again, calling down awful Il
on the relentless brother p
no watched his agony in silence; and b
len there was a gurgle and he cursed "
1d prayed no more, but had vanished. e.
hose who admire the theory of the n
ernal fitness of things will be glad to a
arm that, as the legend was related, the Z.
brother met a similar fate, for 7,
} swallowed an unusual quantity of U
luor one day and managed to stumble a
to the sand and went down to join his 81 81
ctin in the unexnlOrad repions he | y.