The record-union., 1892-03-19
SOME MORBID REFLECTIONS.
Produced Upon "squink" by Recent
Local Happenings.
He is Invited to Take Stock in Sort
of Humane Business Venture
Rest for the Weary.

Sacramento is quite an eVent1ul Klnu OF
atown nowadays, and seems on the verge
of a season of commot1on. Some towns
never achieve enough importance in the
eyes of the world, however, and are never
satisfied, anyhow. In the expressive but
beautiful lines of a seldom kind OF a poet
this melodious verse occurs:
Sans discord ne'er a song is sung,
And some folks growl If they are hung.
The sentiment in the foregoing is all
right, so if the matter doesn't meter the
meter doesn't matter.
As peruse the above essay it seems a
little off color, somehow, but can't do
anything further with it. Whenever |
get words tangled up in that way, 1 have
no doubt but that they express the ideas
of great many folks, so / have them
printed and take the chances. My exc
cution is better than my judgment, and
therefore depend mostly upon general
results. Writing sentiment, or poetry,
is good deal like gathering flowers by
moonlight, anyhow. L get dizzy mysel1
trying to figure out some statements and
then l start anew.
Some discontented individuals over on
w street (or somewhere else propose to
organize Humane Vigilant Committee,
and have sent me draft of their
resolutions for Endorsement. They have
sawed off the following planks for plat
form:
First-That our society shall be known
as the 'Stemwinders."
Second-That our principal place of
business shall rest in obscurity.
Third-That our principal business will
be to shoot obnoxious characters and
build up cemetery.
Fourth-That we will take our victims
outside the city limits and do it with
cannon.
Fifth-That private individuals seeking
relief at our hands shall be always either
accommodated or shot.
Sixth-That we will make few selec-
tlons Of victims, from time to time, as cir
cumstances direct, and that especial at
tention will be given to transient Gus
toners, professional voters and suffering
'rounders," who can't enjoy the ordinary
pursuits of life.
Seventh-That the organization of the
Stemwinders is urged by sense of the
eternal fitness OF things, and desire to
sytematiZe neglected branch of busi-
ness, and for the relief of individuals.
In a letter accompanying the foregoing
there are a few particulars, and a blank
membership application, with a gatling-
gun seal on it.
don't know about this. So far as l am
concerned-myself,in in person, individu-
ally-I think the club could work up
pretty good business, at a small outlay,
and / am delicate about refusing to in
dorse the opinions of such q vague kind
OF a society. / have, therefore, responded
in diplomatic, Chilean kind OF way,
and viii await further overtures from the
unknown.
However, I observed that another plank
was needed to cover the ground and make
still broader platform-that is, that pro-
Tision be also made to accommodate
people who tire of life.
believe that despondent persons who
are weary, disheartened, and will not
have faith and ''wait till the clouds roll
by" ought to have some reliable relief.
II people who are determined to die, and
experiment with the hereafter right
away, it is wrong for them 10 jump into
the water and spoil the river, go around
buying expensive and mysterious drugs,
or TO take chances of blowing out brains
that they possess only in Supposition.
True, they can blow out the gas and go
OF in that way, but that is d sort of
Swindle on the landlord, and annoys the
other boarGers. The Stemwinders might
derive reputable income from this
source-at any rate, no charge is appended
10 my suggestion.
After further consideration, which 1 do
mentally, / believe the Stemwinders, if
their business is managed literally, could
make it pay. If business got slack in
Sacramento. agencies could be opened at
various other points, and doubtless
broad-minded, patriotic citizens would
contribute something to defray the cost of
gunpowder and coffins.
At first glance it looks like an expen-
sive waste of ammunition, but, ably con-
sidered, it appears to me to be great in
ultimate economy.
When in a sentimental mood I cannot
refrain from giving myself chance, and
as can't whistle, [ sing
BY the waning light of a speckled sun,
We are wanderers here below;
And we wander still, if we skip or run
Nor know we whence we go.
Hurra for the birds in the upward sky.
And the CLAIMS meath the rolling sea
If the COW jumped over the moon so high,
Hurra for the agile She!
The further stars are long way up.
But they twinkle just the same;
And the hugest dog was once pup,
And no one knew his name.
"Upward sky" is bad, but I can't help
il. have to make my impromptu poetry
myself. My brain, in the words of the
immortal Mr.. Maloney, as applied to
would be great San Francisco Journalist.
through it the thing would come out a
sis SO crhooked that if a nail were dhriyen
carkscrew!" !" SoUINK.
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL
E. c. Jobson has returned from the
East.
Bernard Isaacs of lone is at the Golden
Caole