The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-12-11

uuUkltiIis On0 IQ8 0L0Iu6N9
wac = lifelong friend of the
judge presiding. having been associ-
ated with him in schooi-boy days, and
s~fterward IN their profession. Mr. A., the
opposing ATTORNEY. was arguing in the case
to the jury. and INDUCING in a TRADE
against oil his opponents. the attorney in
Guided. The other took exception TO sons
of AS remarks. and the latter repeated
them even more emphatically than before.
Thereupon the other attorney started to-
ward A. with fire flashing in his eye and his
fist tightly clinched. Between his teeth,
grinding with rage. he said: You'll re-
tract that lie or thrash me-" The judge.
knowing if il took place during the time of
court he would be compelled to assess =
fine for contem pt. started to his feet ex-
claiming. Courts adjourned Courts ad-
journed." And the fight went N.
=
There is an old saw to the effect ethat an
attorney after a fee for services which
have been rendered Is rather more certain
to get it than is young hopeful to get a
tbrashing when q stern parent catches him
surrepsitIously making away with q can of
the best marmalade In the cellar. There
was one time in the history of this universe
that the sun stood still. and there was one
chered OF his fee very neatly. About q year
ago q man prominent in public affairs in
the city. and OF some wealth. died. A
certain attorney had done his business for
years. and was on such confidential terms
with bis client that he kept most of his
papers In his own safe. The deceased left q
grown-up son in charge of his affairs. and
the son had another preference for an at
torney. He notified the fathers lawyer to
that effect, and the lawyer promptly &C.
cepted the ultimatum by sending in a bill
for $500. The son refused to pay. "All
right" said the lawyer. your fathers in
sursnce papers are still in my safe. and no
$500, no papers"
A scene Is said TO have occurred then and
there such as even the famed cats of Kill
kenny would have sickened of, and the son
left without the papers The next day he
consulted with the local officers of the in
bland and suave as you please. he called on
the attorney and asked If he would turn
over the papers providing that an
order on the insurance men in
the arrival of the money which the papers
called for. was given him. The attorney
thought q moment, consented, the papers
were turned over and the order written.
Some time later the attorney called on the
insurance man to ascertain il the money
had yet arrived, telling of the order he
possessed. Il believe il has inst come in"
remarked the agent. well, here is my
order for $500" remarked the lawyer, Pro-
duciug il.
Then the insurance man told him that
the money was In o draft payable only to
the son, and that he had no right to dispose
of any part of IL. Right there is where the
curtain fell To slow music showing the in
surance man and the son clasping hands
over the fainting BODY Of the lawyer.
+
Take care, mister, you dont rant to fool
with that machine. First thing you know
the end of your finger III be gone.n The
speaker was the proprietor of q horse
radIsh and cocoanut grinding-machIne on
the eastern market and the words were ad-
dressed to one who was picking a bit of
horse-radish off his machine to taste.
why" asked the reckless experimental,
lis the machine dangerousi" We'll, l
should soy So" answered the owner of the
plant, III you don't think SO. look there"
and be shcwed the abbreviated stump
of n thumb and forefinger ground
down TO point. Some folks
thinks its mighty. easy to- run
a horseradlsh machine he continued, but
feller's got to keep bis eyes open in this
business. sure's as you're born. They amt
q market mornin' hardly but what i get
my fingers nicked or else somebody gets hurt
foolin' with the machine; You see it goes
like Ilshtnin' and it'll take a mans finger
nail OFT as quick as q buzz-saw. The other
day / sold u tumbler full of c0C0a-nut to q
lady and she brought part of it back TO me
cause she said there was somethin' in it.
Twas feIler's thumb nall that fooled with
with the machine. OF course / could MT
do nothin' but take 1t back, nail and oil.
Then maxim change il lots of trouble. Its
pretty hard on a frosty mornin' to watch
the machine. stop customers and make
change right without any mistakes.o
Don't you have any he)pf" was asked.
"Nothin' to speak Of" was the reply.
"T'other day i hired a kid to run the ma
chine for me while / went TO breakfast and
- g. -n- brnx IN NhA 80
back he was cryln'. l found he had
lost abont half an inch of'n the
end of his fore finger. taken IN
Z O nickel. made q mistake Of ten cents in
the change and broke the machine. i tied
up his finger and gave him q quarter, and
told him TO 20 and get q warm breakfast.
It cost me a half-dollar to get tho machine
mended, but i didn't mind that. The kid
did the best he could. and l felt kind o.
sorry for him. 1t was ms fanlt. anyhow.
L hadn't orter left him in charge of rhe
business. / tell you it takes Q man TO run
one of these here machines"
=
ANcrth Meridian-street lady has been en-
tertaining q visitor from Philadelphia.
Naturally, she wished her friend to gain
the best possible impressions of IndIanap-
oils manners and Indianapolis culture, aud
mp to last Sunday flattered herself that
only pleasant memories would be associated
with the visit. Sunday she took her guest
to a church of the denomination of the one
which the latter was accustomed to attend
at home. and in which. rs it happened, the
hostess was almost a stranger. Tho two
were politely ushered to a pew In the GEN.
trail part Of the house TO which presently
came, with silken rustic and
swish of drapery, the pew-own-
ers, q consequential dame and
her daughter. The occupant Of the seat
knew the later Corners were the owners be-
cause the dame aforesaid, after glancing at
them with a frown. turned to the usher
and informed him in o distinctly audible
and angry whisper that if he dad not stop
showing people into her pew she would
Quit paying rent, for It. Then she and the
daughter Topped into the seat, and the en-
barrassed and unwelcome strangers had no
choice but to remain or make themselves
conspicuous by leaving the church, and de-
cided on the former course as the less of
two evils. Ii mas be supposed, howver, that
their meditations during the services were
not strictly devout AS 1t CHANGED, another
sister in the church. an acquaintance of
note the occurrence and TO hear the whis-
per. and. in righteous indignation, tackled
the offending pew-owrer when service was
over. pointed out tho enormity of her be-
havlor. and urged an apology. Thereupon
ensued an introduction, and the now en-
barrassed grand dame fastened to express
regret for her discourtesy. explaining. as n
reason for its manifestation. that she had
been mluch annoyed by the propensity of
the usher To show hired girls TO her pewi
Anc then the North Meridian street lady
and the friendly intermediary wished there
bad been no apology.