The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-03-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A tumble-down affair--A wresf
match.-Texas Siftings.
1.-The great heir of fame"-"Lo, the
Conquering Hero Comes"
The chief attraction about miser is
his charming heirs.-Texas Siftings.
When a man takes fatal step he is
sure to put his foot in it.--Pittsburg
Post.
Advice from the Century Dictionary,
page 49OS.-"To pop the question. See
pop. Life.
An ''ice jam" is anything but a sweet
thing to the Maine logger. Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
1t is profitable to know ones self; but
there is money in knowing just how
others rate us.--Puck.
"a simple look is all crave, said he.
"Gaze into yonder mirror and s. ~
it" said she.-New York Journal.
"Cecil Van Dunse gave me piece of
his mind to-day" "I noticed you
weren't as brilliant as usual. Truth.
When man resolves to be good and
patient the next pair of shoes he buys
are sure to pinch him. m.-Atchison Globe.
Setting broken neck is a great feat
of surgery. Still it doesn't quite come
up to putting head on a man. Boston
Herald.
The world is full of men so engaged
in saying "Amen" that they fail to sec
the contribution basket. -Atchison
Globe.
The man who can't keep up with the
procession in this world mustn't expect to
enjoy the music of the band. -Elmira
Gazette.
Unwed-''What is this serveant- girl
question hear so much ab )utp Benedict
-"How many nights may | have ofIln
Boston Post.
"Do you know, l don't think much
Of MawsonW "You don't have to. You
can size Mawson up in two seconds. -
Brooklyn Life.
An unpledged legislator may have "a
head of his own," but other men are
making desperate efforts to get his ear
Columbus Post.
Why Two Friends Parted: "Oi,
say, know good thing I'd like to put
you on to-" ''What is it3n "Ice. ~
indianapolis Journal
OF all the fools who leads the van?
Ii IL were put 10 vote
| think he'd be the silly man
Who jumps to catch the boat.
Judge.
Debtor-'T can't pay you anything
this month";" Collector-"That's what
you told me last month" Debtor -
"Well, kept my word ,didn'tI"-Texas
Siftings.
Judge (after the jury has acted against
his judgments in acquitting MANI
"Give this man his liberty, but watch
your coats aud umbrellas. FIiegende
Baetter.
Things one would wish TO express dif-
ferently, "Well, good-by, Miss Smith.
Tell the others | was very sorry not to
find any one at home--a--a---a- except
you-a. Punch.
There are people who have lived to
old age for no other reason apparently
than because they have never been able
among the multiplicity Of diseases to de-
eide which one to die of.-BostOn Tran
script.
D'Aubique-"Miss Daggett was in to
see my color studies yesterday, and said
she liked them immensely. What an
artless little creature she is" Sinuick-
"That's what makes her like your paint.
ing. Boston Post.
Mr.. Getup (of the firm of Getup &
HowelD lD-"Where in thunder is that
worthless Office boyi Have YOU sent
him anywhereW Mr.. IIowell--"Yes,
con(ound himl I've Just sent him out TO
find another job. Chicago Tribune.
Undertakers are candid people. A
gentleman called at an establishment last
week and ordered an outfit for funeral.
"Dr. Blank sent me here, he said.
"Oh, yes said the undertaken, "Dr.
Blank sends us all his work. London
It'd Bits.
you don't seem to be as friendly
with young Wilde as formerly, Maude. I"
"No; ] am trying to cast him out of my
thoughts. He is unworthy" "Do you
find it hard TO forget himm "Well,
the more | see Of him the less | think of
him. New York Press.
"What are you dong in my housel"
asked man who surprised burglar at
his unlawful work. your housen ex.
claimed the burglar, as he commenced
once more to put silver spoons in his
pocket. "You seem TO imagine that
don't know the title to this property
in your wile'sname. "-Brooklyn Life