The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1892-11-09
some sharp sayings.

CADMUS was the flrSt pOStman. lie
brought letters to Greece. Boston
Transcript.
The man with plenty Of fat mort
cages lives on the lien. of the land
Dallas News.
IT isn't the Eighty poet who is re-
sponsible for all the fugitive verses.
Boston Courier.
"SHE's very upright young lady,"
ayes, but she's bent on matrimony."
Philadelphia Record.
If any young man wants TO find out
what the wild waves are saying let
him go to sea.-Picayune.
A BIG man groans most when he
gets sick because there is more OF him
to suffer.-Atchison Globe.
"TIME is money!" remarked Blobbs
as he deposited his watch in a jack
pot.-Philadelphia Record.
MANY a wise man has picked up a
good suggestion where some fool
dropped it.-Galyeston News.
This country might bestow on one
of its cowboy versflers the title of
poet-lariat. Washington Star.
AFTER ALL the best amateur actor
is the one who pretends to enjoy a
piano recital. Gazette.
"WELL, I'll be kicked" as the foot
ball said when it heard that the col
lege had opened. Buffalo Express.
WHEN one buys an electrical publ
lo 20 hn hnf 10
the current issue. Rochester Post.
"ANYTHING new on foot?" "Yes"
"What is it?" sour baby. He's Just
learned to walk. Lawrence Ameri-
can.
WHEN man is doing we'll he mag
ines that he could better if he could
move and pay more rent.-Atchison
Globe.
as he quick-tempered?" "Quick-
tempered? Why, his temper breaks
three records every day." buffalo
Express.
SOME restaurant tablo-cloths are
like a country fair; they display
little of everything. -Binghamton
Republican.
How SOON the millennium would
come If the good things people in
tend to do tomorrow were only done
to-day. Horn.
WHEN man finally does give up
and cries, he looks so much like
drunken man that he gets no SYM
patty. Globe.
WHEN man can't find his shirt
button Of Sunday morning his wife
is apt to have trouble with his choler.
-Binghamton Republican.
BRIDE No. 2-"No other woman
ever wore this ring, did she, darling:"
Wid0wer-"NO woman on earth ever
had it on. Jewellers Weekly.
81 SEE villain in your face" said a
judge to prisoner. MAY it please
your Honor" said the latter. that is
a personal reflection. "-Tid-B
Il ONLY got nominal fee in that
case" said Brief. $50 the plaintiff
said. He said your charges were
phenomenal. BLACK and White.
GOOD minister-Do you like to go
to church, my boy? Good boy-Yes,
sir, but I'd like it better if they
didn't sing such tired tuncs.-Good
News.
NAMED your boy John after your
self, Mr. Barrows?" mo, Mrs. Tom
son. We have named him James
after prolonged family row. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
"IT is dreadful, Maria. that you
always will have the last word"
please, ma'am, how am | to know
that you have nothing more to say?"
German paper.
VIsITOR-"Is this an old home
stead or modern imitation of an
tiquity?" Tenant-"Oh, it's new
brand new. The roof leaks in forty
places New York Weekly.
Mrs. HOGAN-"Fwat seem to be the
matter wit Danny?" Mrs Grogan-
Hes a-sufferin' from fwat the story
books call unrequested love, poor
boy."-Indianapols Journal.
IT doesn't make out case against
Uncle Sam of wanting politeness
that in the war Of the revolution he
didn't say to England, Excuse the
liberty take. "-Philadelphia Times.
WENT THE WHOLE BILL-"What's
this card in your pocket, John?"
asked his wife. what? Oh, before
i went to lunch that was bill OF
fare. Now it's my table OF contents.
-Life's Calendar.
THERE goes Prof. Pogglethorpe.
He's one Of the most consistent men
of the day" "Indecd?" "Yes; for
instance, when he wants TO brood he
goes and sits in the chicken house,
Philadelphia Record.
NEIGHBoR-"And so you have q
little baby at your house?" Is it a
boy or girl?" Little Boy-"Mamma
thinks it's a boy, but guess it'll turn
out girl. It's always crying bout
nothin'. "-Pittsburg Press.
TuEy had boen diScussinC tho nro-