The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1892-01-13
Temperance.
That Microbe.


O'Clock, Mr.. Wallace Brett became
aware that the vague, indefinable an
noyance that had been troubling him
all day was developing into headache.
There are headaches and headaches.
Some of them will give quarter, hold
parley, and capitulate upon remon-
strances. These belong to one class;
Mr.. Wallace Brett's belonged to the
other. 1t occupied the space above his
eyes, behind his ears, aud penetrated
all the medullary substance of the cere-
Drum and oblongata. 1t did not, like
well-regulated headaches, end even
here, but continued IFS triumphant
course along the spinalis, causing Mr..
Brett TO regret that he possessed a
vertebra, every one of whose thirty
three bones panied him worse than
jumping toothache.
Mr.. Brett closed the ledger, into
which he had bt en- transferring entries
from the journal, and leaned his head
upon his hand.
Something ran down his back that
felt like the sensation he had when
Mrs. Brett, in the morning, requested
him to get up and make the kitchen fire.
Then the silence of the Office was
broken by two loud A-chou'sl followed
so rapi lily by a shrill succession of
repetitions, that the AS dropped off
and left them chou 'CHoUsl
There was giggling among the
clerks in the other room at the book
keepers expense. " Bretts gettin'
there" said one to another.
Mr.. Brett sat for half hour longer,
alternately sneezng and holding his
head; then he got into his overcoat
and started for home.
But while he waited at a corner for
the tardy street-car, he began TO i'm
agine that his head was an anvil, and
Longfelow's village blacksmith was
hammering it with sledge. Some
thing about "chestnuts kept going
over and over in his mind, and he
couldn't get it right.
81 believe I'm going crazy" thought
Mr.. Brett. Visions of straight jackets
and padded cells foated before his men
tai optics, and not altogether pleasing.
Pm take time by the forelock,"
THOUGHT he, "and stop in and consult
DR.. Know-nothing."
DR.. Know-nothing was holding a
levee of men, women, and children,
anu all VI Jutu WGIt ltludl hluSs n
choul A.choul" With impartial hand
he was dealing out quinine capsules,
right and lett, and recommending them
all to take ga good, stiff dose of
whisky, from three to six times day."
6 If it makes you see double, so much
the BETTER" said he; twill show that
the remedy is taking hold. Whisky's
like ptomaine; it kills the microbe.
These here microbes, l was reading
last night, are bigger'n Jersey mosqui-
toes, and carry trunks with 'em. Need
a sight of kiln"
This borrowed wtlicism was met
with a roar of laughter. When Mr..
Wallace Brett got chance to be heard,
he cleared his throat, and said, in de-
preciating way: oil never drink,
Doctor. The truth is, I'm opposed 10
it. l signed the pledge years ago, and
Pm uncompromising-"
eyes, yes, understand That's all
right. Pm temperance man myself.
But you have to fight the devil with
fire, you know, and microbes with
poison. Easy enough to drop it off
when you get better. Easy enough to
drop off yourself, eh, if you don't use
it?"
Mr.. Wallace Brett was good Meth
odist and a Christian. He knew that
all men are mortal, and must " drop
off " sooner or later. But he preferred
that in bis case it should be later. He
had a dear wife and two lovely chill
dren. He was paying for his snug
little home in instalments. Carrie
and the boys needed him, it was very
evident, and it wouldn't do to take
risks.
"a pint-botte aid do it JUSTICE"
shouted the doctor after him as he went
out at the door.
Mr.. Brett was glad that the clerk at
the drugstore where he stopped was a
strange one, and didn't know him,
when he shamefacedly called for pint
of their best quality of cold rye" He
thought, though, there was a supercil
ious smirk about the young mans
mouth as he timidly added" for sick
ness"
He was mistaken; it was only the
way in which the young mans mus.
tache was curled. He had been meas
uring out pint TASKS of their best
quality of rye" all day " for sickness"
The young man was new to the bust
ness, and could not but feel that in
dealing out this precious commodity to
what, without it, was a dying commu-
nifty, he was something of cross be-
tween a missionary and an angel.
Mr.. Wallace Brett went home and
explained the situation to his wife, as
he entered, by declaring, "A.chou!
A-CHoUl A.C-H-O-UW
He took the capsules out of his
pocket, and put them on the table
Then, with some misgiving, he pro-
duced the flask, and repeated the doc
tors advice.
Mrs. Brett objected. Mr., Brett said
he presumed she wanted him to diel
Mrs. Brett demurred; she said it was
not only nonsense, but it was wicked
and shameful. Mr.. Brett wanted to
know when she took her medical di-
ploma. Mrs. Brett began to cry; then
she began to scold. Then she reached
for the bottle, and Mr.. Brett wrenched
it out of her hands.
And the first quarrel of this other
wise. and up to this time happy. couple