The Republican journal., 1892-11-24

Colorado, benefits Forgot" by WOlcOtt
Balestier, who wrote 'The Naulahka''
with Rudyard Kipling. Papers on good
roads, the new educational methods, and
city government are soon to come. Four
dollars will bring you this splendid maya
zine for one year, and certainly no cult
waited home can afford to be without it.
Subscribers chm remit directly to the pub
fishers, The Century Co., }3 East 18th
ST., New York. They should begin with
November and SO get first chapters of all
the serials, including ''Sweet Bells Out of
Tune"
Hard to Please.
A REPUBLICAN ORATOR ILLUSTRATES
THANKLESSNESS.
The campaign orator who can illustrate
his solid facts and arguments with funny
story now and then is generally better
able to hold the attention of his audience
and impress his point upon their memory
than the speaker who relies upon elo-
quence and cold facts alone. This is how
a recent arrival from the South impressed
upon MONDAY audience of business men
in Broadway the other day how unreason-
able the Democratic party is:
IL never saw harder people to please in
my life sad he, than the Democrats.
Why, 1 find since | came to New York
that they are not even pleased with Peck $
figures, showing the wonderful prosperity
of their State. Laughter | did not
know who Peck was till | came up here.
A Democrat told me yesterday he was
'Peck's bad boy grown up. Laughter. I
Their discomfort with the country $
prosperity reminds me of pious lady
down South whose husband was rich,
but an atheist \ conference of ministers
was being held i'll town near this Colonel
BIS fine plantation, and Mrs. b., when
she started in the morning TO attend the
conference, told her husband that she
would like to bring back a lot of the holy
men to dinner with her in the evening
She thought secretly that the, might CON
vert the colonel. He agreed to welcome
Them and Mrs. b. ordered the cook to
prepare a dinner accordingly.
''4After she had gone the colonel asked
the cook what Mrs. b. had ordered. He
found that one turkey was all she had
thought necessary, and his big Southern
hospitality was shocked at the idea. He
did not like preachers, as a class, but if
they We're to eat at his table at all, then
they should be treated in way to do cred
it to the plantation and the family. Ac
cordingly, he ordered ducks, geese, chick
ems, pigeon, turtle, lamb, mutton, beef,
veal, pork, oysters and trout, beside the
turkey. He ordered vegetables and pas
try in proportion, and by the time it was
all on the great table, set out with the
family silver, there was almost enough for
40 preachers.
''Presently the colonel's wife returned
and with her was only one little wizened,
long haired. freckled young man. She in
troduced him to the big colonel. who could
only gasp, Is that all Claribel?' All the
preachers | found had previous engage
ments. whispered his wife, in disappoint-
ed tone, but this young man is a music
teacher who led the choir at the conven-
ton. He is very pious and gives promise
of great things. | hope you won't use
any bad language while he is here. col
onel"
well. they sat down to the loaded
table, the colonel, his wife, the organ
player, and the colonel's son, Rob, age ID
sturdy, violent, lntamed, a careful OBJ
server of his father ways and cleaner OF
his fathers oaths, a constant source Of
worry TO his motheY. and the idol and
king of every negro on the plantation.
will you have some turtle soup. sir?''
asked the genial colonel beaming with
pleasure as the dalkies removed the
covers.
:. NO, thanks, replied the organ-plav-
Ell. i never take soup.
- some oysters. them
Same answer.
- 'TroutT
= No. thanks
- lPigeon?'
Never eat pigeon, thank you.
" Lamb
''Same answer
The colonels smile disappeared and
he began to look troubled. Beef, then?'
he said.
''Same answer.
= This veal, said the host, pleadingly,
is excellent, my own raising. Try some?
- i never eat veal. thank you
" Turkey"
Same answer.
- 'Ducko'
: No, thanks.
@ 'Goose?'
- Not any,
only the pork was left now, and the
colonel was in despair What sort of Il
man was this. anyway? What did he eat?
The thoroughly disappointed colonel was
just about to offer the last dish when his
son Rob, who had been listening with open
mouthed wonder to all these refusals OF
the good things of this earth, until he
could hold himself no longer, blurted out ::
g Say, pop, craps the durn little snipe
would suck an egg.
TURF TOPICS. The peerless Maud s.
the pride of Robert Bonner's heart, will
again be brought out on the track to
smash records. Mr.. Bonner has not been
satisfied since Nancy Hanks. hitched to a
pneumatic sullly, lowered the mile record
and the veteran horse owner insists that
Maud $. is still the queen of the trotting
turf. Mr.. Bonner admits that Nancy Hanks
is a wonderful animal. but he believes
that much of her speed is due to the re-
cent Improvements in both the tracks and
running gear OF the sulkies. .... Mr.. G. II.
Nelson is busily at work on the Sunnysidr
catalogue which will probably come out in
colts that might be catalogued 60 only
will be put in, as particular attention is to
be paid to quality this year. Seventy names
We're in last year... Tennessee still holds
the world S stallion record A few days
since STEAMBOAT trotted mile at Stockton,
Cal, in los. which dethroned kremlin.
At Cumberland Park Saturday kremlin
again lowered the colors OF STEAMBOAT and
trotted a mile in POI 81. timed by
F,, a.; n .s,1