Los Angeles herald., 1892-07-30


all surprised to git up sum fine day n
find All Foo with wings n feathers on
his legs like Bramah hen. Nary man
packed gun, N when gent 'ud forgit
N drop cuss word he'd beg parding
The parson was thick with all the boys.
He writ letters for us, advised us about
all our biznus, n knew all about every
body's affairs. Lots NV 'em gave him
their dust sack to keep fer 'em, n he
knowed where every man he'd his
cached.
"Along jest afore Christmas cum Pete
called meetin NV the deacons n church
wardens down to his place, n after the
sexton (Ah Foo) he'd brought in a round
of drinks he said: Gents, ez chairman
exofficer in this yer layout l move that
we give the parson a little present fer
Chris'mus. Yer know he won't take a
durn cent from us, n never has. Nv
course he has taken few thousand
from time to time to send to orfngs n
things NV that kind, but not red for
hisself or pard, n move that we make
him little present on Chris'mus day,
n it needn't be so little either.
Gents in favor IL say so n gents wot
amt kin keep mum. Carried, n that
settles it. Five Ace n nell take in con-
tributions, n we won't take any less
than fifty cases..
"That wuz two days afore Chrls'm
day, n when it cum Pete N Five Ace
he'd about five thousand in dust N mug
gets fer the parsons present. Pete as
sessed All Foo months pay, n he
kicked hard accordin, but 'twer'n't no
use.
"The day was bright n clear, n at
1even O'clock every man in camp wuz at
church. The little buildin looked mighty
tasty-all fixed off with pine tassels n
red berries we'd got in the woods, N
every man wuz dressed out in his
best duds. AT leven exact the par
son n the kid, who he'd bin standin at
! the door shakin hands n wishin every
body what cum in Merry Chris mus,
cum in n took their seats on the plat
| form. Pete n Five Ace N Bill Jones n
| Alabam n me sot on a bench jest in
front O the platform. We wuz all
| logged out in our best fixin's, n Pete n
Five Ace they sported diamons till yer
| couldn't rest. Waal, ez usual, the per-
ceedin's opened up with Ell prayer from
the parson, n then we he'd singin, n it
seemed ter me ez if never he'd heerd
sich singin in my life afore ez thet kid
let out O. him thet day.
"Then the parson he started in ter
jaw, n must elbow he Civ us a great
discourse. | never see him so long
winded afore, tho, n Pete was begin
min to get mighty restless n Uneasy,
when all Nv suddint we heerd the
door open n shet quick n sharp, n
every one turned around to find great
big black bearded cuss at the door
coverin the hull gang Nv us with
double bar'led shotgun, n jest a stand
in thar cool n silent. Face around
here, yer -- FOOLS yelled some
body in sharp, quick, biznus meanin
vice, n all hands faced around to find
the parson holding 'em up wiA another
shotgun-own brother to the one the
other cuss he'd. W4e AS
i don't want word ont en- yer, he
sed. Yer see my game now, don't yer2
Thar amt gun in the house 'cept the
ones you see. n if any gent makes any
row in this yer meetin I'll fill his hide so
plum full O. holes It won't hold his bones.
The kid will now take up the collection,
n ez it's the first one we ever hev taken
up yer must make it hber'l one, seer
The kid started out with gunnysack,
n went through the very last man in
the crowd. He took everything, even
to the rings on our fingers. The parson
he'd the drop, n we knew it n never
kicked, but jest Civ up our stuff like
lambs.
"After the kid he'd finished, he took
the sack outside, n that's the last we
ever seed o. him. Then the parson he
sez: IN now, gents, must say adoo, ez
| must be a travelin, for l hev another
meetin to attend this eve. want to
say tho afore go thet you're the orner-
lest gang of --- fools 1 ever played
for suckers. A few friends of mine hev
taken the liberty, while yer've been to
meetin this blessed Chrismus day, NV
goin through yer cabins n diggin up yer
little caches NV dust n other val'ables.
Yer stock hez all been stampeded, N yer
| guns yer'n find somewhar at the bottom
of the crick. My friend at the door win
hold yer level while walk out, n we
will then keep yer quiet fer few min
utes longer through ther winder jest SO
's we can git nice cumf't table start;' n
SO they did. What c'u'd we do? The
| parson walked out, grinning all over
himself, n he n his pals they nailed up
the door n the winders (thar wuz only
two), n very soon after they he'd finished
| we heerd the clatter o. huffs n knowed
they wuz gone.
II must draw veil over the rest OF
that days proceedins, stranger. The
langwidge used by ther boys wuz toe
awful to repeat, but twas jest ez this
parson sed, when we got out O. tibet
meetin house we found every animal Oh
the location gone, n the only arms left
wuz knives n clubs, yet we'd hev gone
| after 'em with nothin but our hands,
but we couldn't follow afoot. How
much did they get? don't rightly
know, but not fur from fifty thousand
The hull camp wuz stone broke, all excep
All Foo, N he wuz the only one NV us as
he'd sense enuff not to tell thet burned
parson whar he cached his stuff. Pete
n Five Ace wuz so everlast hurt at the
hull biznus that they shut up the Bird
O. Prey, borrowed All Foo's sack N left
for the bay to try n find thet parson