Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-10-06

on his metal, as 1T werc.-Elmira
Gazette. sa fea. as
THE cross-eyed man has the best OF.
It at double-ring circus perform
ance. -APicayune.
THE cow sets us an admirable ex-
ample-she never blows her own horn.
-Yonkers Statesman.
A GOOSE farm has been started in
Alabama. 1t will be managed by
Michigander. --Siftlngs. eG sA4t
If a man hasn't got a barrel he
will have to be satisfied with q bottle.
-Blnghamton Republican.
A LICK in time sometimes disap-
points the town COW and saves the
shrubbery. Galveston News.
Il AM sorry" said one thermometer
to another, "but guess we'll have
to trot another heat. Washington
Star. go"
The husband who anticipates
every want usually runs off to town
before his wife asks him for it.-Dal-
las News.
WHEN it comes to making a lining
for a nest, softly quacked the elder
duck, 1--we got it down fine. Chi
cago Tribune. M.f.
A QUEER circumstance about some
poetry is that while it may have
plenty of feet it has no souL-Phila-
delphia Times.
CAST your bread upon the water
and you will have chicken soup-+such
as they advertise in free lunch. -Ha-
zleton Sentinel.
LOVES labor lost-a second hus-
band going on q time with his wife's
first husbands insurance money
Cape Cod Item.
"THAT was a false alarm" as the
man on the yacht said when he
thought his wig had blown off,
Philadelphia Record.
A MAN who had an untenanted
house at the end of the street was ac-
customed to refer to IL as last but
not leased. -Binghamton Leader.
A PERSON who has summered in
the. West cannot be made to believe.
that fever and ague is no great
shakes. -Binghamton Republican.
If the orator is referred to as a
word painter, why not refer to a lee
turer in a deaf and dumb institute as
sign painter? Yonkers Statesman.
"AH," she murmured, as her father
hustled two would-be visitors from
the front door, Il think hear the
rustling of the leaves. "-Washingron
Star. .Ni srt
A CORRESPONDENT writes to know
what he ought TO get for .kicking
cows" We should say about year
II he does it habitually.-Westfieid
leader.
a VERY unhealthy occupation"
remarked Brown, as looked upon the
brickmakers wading through the wet
clay. "Yes," remarked Black, "it's
kilning work. boston. Transcript.
BoBBY-What makes. Miss Foot
lights wear her earrings in the
water? Mamma (sayagely) = Her
sense of propriety compels her to
wear Observation-Disclosures Weekly.
A HINT: Ethel-"G George. you re-
mind me of an hour-glass." George
-"In what respect?" Ethel-"The
more time given you, the less sand
you seem to have. New York Truth.
YABsLEY-Do they, set pretty appe-
tizing meals at your house, Nudge?
Nudge - Appetizing? o, yes. A
fellow gets up hungrler than when
he sat down.-Indianapolis Journal.
SUE--"How did you and Tom Hol-
low happen to get married, Blanche?"
Blanche-"Wew were both single, you
know" "Yes." swell, we married
to g5t even. Smith, Gray s. Co. 8
Monthly. RI.
JAsPER-What did your Uncle Asa
say when he saw the decollete dress
es at your party? He never saw any
thing of the sort before, did he?
Maud-No; all he said was, "What
nex'?"-BroolSlyn Life.
JAMIE had caught cold in some
way, and was very stiff in conse-
| quence. 81 think when l had my
bath yesterday" he said, somebody
must have put starch i'm the water. :"
-Harper's Young People. cs
OLD DoCToR-"No, sir. / never
have a patient die on my hands
never" Young Doctor-"H do you
manage. it?" Old When i
find man is going toidie 1 get him
to call in specialist. Life,
SHE observing that his arm has
stolen around her waist)-Jack, do
you think they can see us from the
hotel? He-I don't know, dear, but
we can move nearer to the light il
| you wish it.-New York Herald.
REPORTER Ito eye-witness) They
say policeman was badly injured in
the fracas. Is that sog Mrs Elan
nigan-Faith! young man, mebbe he
was. Ye can't tell nothin' about
thin internal injuries. Art in Ad-
vertising. A.,f.e
LITTLE Tommy Whykins had been
wrestling with piece of, bareback.
Mamma" said he after q silence.
what is it?" "If poll parrots get all
the crackers they ask for, don't
wonder they learn to swear. Wash
ington Star.
CATKIN-What did you marry her
Cor IL you intended to apply for di-
vorce so soon? Barlow-She threat
ened to sue me for s25, ZOO damages
for breach of promise, and / knew I
could get a divorce good deal cheap
/