The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-12-21
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.
japanese children are tangl

- Japanese children are taught I'd
write with both hands.
- Better be called fool for doing7
right than be fool in doing wrong.
- An ounce of cheerfulneas is worth q
pound of sadness to serve God with.
= We are not surprised that people,
will not take new cough remedy, when
they know the value of DR.. Bulls Cough E
Syrup.
- 7 heartily recon- mend Salvation Oill
for neuralgia, for it acts like charm.
is. McCaulley, 5Se N. Gay St., Bsl,o.
Md.
"Do you have chestnuts with your
turkey ?" II should say no." replied the
small boy "Ps always tries to be funny
on holidays"
- She: What did we do at the farm ?
Oh, the girls huggeG the stove and the /
men smoked. He: Why didn't the men /
hug the girls and let the stove smoke.
- Fanny: How the trees moan and
sigh! Bobby speaking from experieuce) i
I guess you'd moan and sigh if you we're
as full Of green apples as they are some /
times.
- The United States now spends over
one hundred and seventy million dollars
year on its schools, not including over
ten million dollars annually spent in its
colleges and universities.
"A glass factory at Liverpool has
"glass journal.boxes for all its machinery,
a glass floor, glass shingles on the roof
and smokestack 105 feet high built
wholly of glass bricks, each foot
square,"
= Rush Valley, Utah, has mine of
natural shoe blacking. An analysis of
the peculiar stuff reveals the fact that it
composed of 16 per cent. Of carbon, 1S|
per cent. of bitumen, aniAhe remainder
aluminium, almost pure.
= Charlie (sadly): Since you've been
married, Tom, you never ask me to break
bread with you. Tom: There's good
reason for it old fellow. You couldn't
break the bread We have at onr house;
you couldn't do more than bend it.
- One of the features of 8 recent
church fair out West was grab bag, and
among the contents was slip of paper
on which was written: Good for ono
grave. Will be dug any time during the
ensuing year. John Smith, sexton"
= Everybody knows that the condi.
tions for health are not favorable when
the stomach, liver, and bowels are disor.
dered. In such cases, headache, indi-
gestiop, and constipation are the result;
for all which ailments the proper remedy
is Ayers Cathartic Pills.
- Be not anxious about tomorrow.
Do to-day's duty, fight to-day's tempta-
ton; and do not weaken and distract
yourself by looking forward to those
things which you cannot see, and could
not understand ifyou saw them. Enough
for you that the God for whom you fight
is just and merciful, for he rewardeth
every man according to his work.
Charles Kinsley.
Feeble and capricious appetites are
best regulated by the use of Ayers
Cathartis Pills. They do not debilitate,
by excessive stimulation; but cause the
stomach, liver and bowels to perform
their functions properly. AS an after
dinner pill, they are unequaled.
After thirty years of welded bliss 8
Reading, Pa, couple have concluded that
marriage is a failure. And all this
because the husbands nose is not under
bis absolute control when he is asleep.
He snores. Aud his wife says it is q
most horrible noise, which wears on her
nerves, prevents her sleeping and makes
her unhappy generally. The divorce
court is considering the case.
"A disappointed man with his seal
cut Of gear walked into Lewiston drug
store recently and sat down.. after throw.
ing prescription at the druggist the way
one might throw meat to a dog. After
silence he breathed a sigh. "Ifs hard
LUCK" said be. "Here it is. My wife's
been sick, been sick month; sicker'n
ever this morning. Drat if 1 don't wish
she'd git we'll or-aomethiug?" 1
- The Alliance people of Washington
and Choctaw counties, Ala, are excited
about a trial of twelve of their number
who are charged with lynehing Chris
Chamblis because he publicly denounced
the Alliance. As a warning his house
was burned. He had man arrested on
suspicion but he was acquitted. Soon
after that Chamblis was arrested and
held in custody all day and killed at
night. For this murder they are now up
for trial.
"A witty individual one morning.
wagered that he would ask the same
question of fifty different persons, and
receive the same answer from each. The
wit went to first one and then to another,
until he had reached the number of fifty.
And this is how he won the bet. He
whispered, half sudibly, to each, II say,
have you heard that Smith has failed I"
"What Smith ?" queried the whole fifty,
one after another; and it was decided
that the bet had been fairly won.
"A Kentucky Baptist minister says
that some years ago Baptist church in
tt at State tried man for kissing his
wife. The formulated charge wss enter