davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Young man-"Do you think your
sister would hate to marry and leave
you?" The terror-"Oh, yes. She
said she would have married long
ago if it hadn't been for me. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

One Day More. Marguerite
"Why do they call this leap year,
Pearl (wearily)-"I suppose because
there are 1868 days in which one has
chance to jump at an offer of mar
riage. Brooklyn Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Tramp-"ls dis de American loan
an trust company?'
Clerk-"Yes, sir"
Tramp-"Well, I'm an American
an | wish you would loan me fifteen
cents fer about two weeks. ! wan!
t make payment on bone around
th' corner. Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

A chestnut is the story that
another fellow tells.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11
MIGHIGANCENTRAL
" The Niagara Falls Route. .
Time Card in Effect.

sDaily Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains
WHITING, Ticket Agent
O.w. RUGGLES, @. T. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

What is love? Two heads with
but a single thought, two fools that
act like one.-Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11
". Baker & Co., Dorchester, Mass.


This PRECIOUS OINTMENT is the
siumph of Scientific Medicine
Nothing has ever been produced to
equal or compare with it as CURATIVE
and HEALING APPLICATION. 1t has been
used over 40 years, and always affords
relief and always gives satisfaction.
For Piles External or Internal, Blind
or Bleeding Fistula in Ano Itching or
Bleeding OF the Rectum. The relief IS
Immediate cure certain.
For Burns, Scalds and liberation and
Contraction from Burns. The rcliefis instant
the healing wonderful and uncqualed.
For Boils, Hot Tumors, Ulcers, Fistulas,
Old Sores, Itching Eruptions, ChaiIng or
Scald Head. Ii is Infalliblc.
For Infiamed or Caked Breasts and Sore
Nipples. 1t is invaluable.
Price, 90 Cents. Trial size, IS Cents
Sofa By Druggists. postpaid receipt Of price
HrnPHRSyy nED. CO., mans william Sc, NEW YORK.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

The widow Jones has sued us for
damages for lost time. She charges
that while she was waiting on us to
make money enough to buy mar
riage license, she lost five husbands
Atlanta Constitution.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

A mans political friends are not
always the men he would like to
trade horses with. Columbus Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

A Delightful Text Ethel just
adore that young DR.. Muttonchop.
His sermon tonight was perfectly
lovely. George What was the
text? Ethel-"Behold! the Bride
groom Cometh."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Even the definition of the phrase
good weather depends entirely on
the point of view remarked the
man who has umbrellas to hire
WashinpintOn Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Capital punishment" the boy
said when the schoolmistress seated
him with the girls.-New York
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Miss Sharpe proposed to Cholly
last night" "Did he accept?" He
had to. Her father was in the
house" New York Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
A chestnut is the story that
another fellow tells.-Ex.
The best method for handling bees,
for an amateur, is by proxy.-Amer-
lean Farmer.
What is love? Two heads with
but a single thought, two fools that
act like one.-Boston Transcript.
A mans political friends are not
always the men he would like to
trade horses with.-Columbus Post.
Capital punishment" the boy
said when the schoolmistress seated
him with the girls.-New York
News.
Waiter-"Will you have salt on
you eggs?" Guest-"No, thank
you. They're not all fresh. Pick
Me Up.
"That is an angel of house,
said she. mot quite" he replied
1T has only one wing."-Harper's
Bazar.
Miss Sharpe proposed to Cholly
last night" "Did he accept?" He
had to. Her father was in the
house. New York Press.
Even the definition of the phrase
good weather depends entirely on
the point of view," remarked the
man who has umbrellas to hire
Washinginton Star.
Young man-"Do you think your
sister would hate to marry and leave
you?" The terror-"Oh, yes. She
said she would have married long
ago if it hadn't been for me. Life
Physician-"l called to collect
those bills which | sent you" Mr.
Squills "you are perfectly wei
come to them, doctor. Here they
are, all in one packet" "-.Pharma
ceutical Era,
A Busy Day-Recording angel
Il want some assistance to-day.
Michael What is the matter?'
Recording angel-"Three sewing
circles meet this afternoon. ."-Nev
York Herald.
A Delightful Text Ethel jus
adore that young DR., Muttonchop
His sermon tonight was perfectly
lovely. George What was the
text? Ethel-"Behold. the Bride.
groom Cometh."
$50 you went to sing in tn
choir?" Yes "What part ?
"Well, | went in as first class bass
but they changed it to short stol
when they heard my voice. Wash
ington Star.
Schoolgirl-Please, teacher, VIII
lie Wrinkles kissed me at recess to
day Aged teacher "Send him t,
me at once" "Why, teacher, di'
not know that you kissed!' Yon
kers Statesman.
The widow Jones has sued us fol
damages for lost time. She charge
that while she was waiting on us t.
make money enough to buy mar
riage license, she lost five husbands
Atlanta Constitution.
One Day More. Marguerite
"Why do they call this leap year?
Pearl (wearily)-"I suppose becaus
there are 1868 days in which one ha
a chance to jump at an offer of mar
riage. Brooklyn Eagle.
Poultry dealer -'How did yo,
like the goose's liver you had yester
day." Young housekeeper-"l 81
was very nice, indeed. | want an
other one, but from the same goose
remember" Texas Siftings.
Laura Lonlely-"This drinking
cup was made for me when ! was
baby" Rosa Roaster-"How beau
tifull. Aren't the productions o
the ancient metal-workers charm
ing?"-Jewelers' Weekly.
|
At Home and Abroad. Dicker
IL am told that Wahl is very diff
ferent man in his family than ol
the street. Bond --"Yes; Mrs
Wahl says he's bull on the stree
and n bear at home. New Yorl
Herald.
The Pcrils of the Deep. Belate'
passenger-"Oh, captain, ! was s.
afraid that | should miss the steam
er ! hardly took time to swallow
my lunch" Gruff captain -"Well
never mind, it will be all the sam
L
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

"That is an angel of house,
said she. Not quite" he replied
1T has only one wing."-Harper's S
Bazar.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Waiter-"Will you have salt on
you eggs?" Guest-"No, thank
you. They're not all fresh. Pick
Me Up.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

80 you went to sing in the
choir?" Yes "What part?''
"Well, | went in as first class bass,
but they changed it to short stop
when they heard my voice. Wash
ington Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

Schoolgirl-Please, teacher, Will
lie Wrinkles kissed me at recess to-
day Aged teacher "Send him to
me at once" "Why, teacher, ] did
not know that you kissed!!' on
kers Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R'

Accom- Mail and Mail ana Accom-
modstion. Express. EXpress' mouauoh'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11
1odey's Lady's Book,

Box II. a., Philadelphia, Pa.
In Club with this paper, Godey's and the
ARGUS, price $3.50, which should be sent
to the Office Of this paper.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

eoid By Druggists. or sent postpaid receipt Of price
NED. CO.. iiiAfIa william 81, NEW YORk.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1892-05-11

voyage alone.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07
Electricity i'm a Grist Mill.

The announcement comes from St.
Paul that electricity is to be tried as the
motive power in a large flour mill to be
erected in that city, anC, though it's in
PRODUCTION by a concern may not revo-
lutionize the business as is predicted, or
at any rate very soon, it cannot fail to
be IN important innovation if it proves
a success. A practical miller Of thirty
years experience is said to be behind the
scheme for it's employment, declaring
after thirteen months of experimenting
with the electric current, that he is
thoroughly convinced of its cheapness
and its Observation-Disclosures
Journal
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07
A you HELP HIM
An Appeal from the Board of Agriculture
Which Should Receive Attention.
STATE BOARD OF AGRICULTURE,

Which Should Receive Attention.
STATE BOARD OF AGRICULTURE,
RALEIGH, n. C., March 2, 1892.
To farmers:
1t is very much desired to show at
Chicago specimens of our cereals, grasses,
etc., in the straw. Every farmer who has
a fine field of wheat, oats, rye, barley,
mi1let, or grasses of any unmixed variety
shold take a pride ia curing it properly
for exhibition purposes. We will want
only the best, and will need a goodly
quantity. When it is remembered that
this display is to go into competition
with the whole world, the importance of
careful handling will become apparent
to all. We know that this state cannot
suffer in a comparison of her cereals
with any country, as we produce as good
as can be found not only so, but in some
instances better than can be found any
where.
How to prepare exhibits Of grain in
the straw. 1t is very important that the
grains, grasses, millets, etc, intended for
exhibition should be properly cured and
protected from the disc Iteration incident
to he usual methods of harvesting. In
order TO preserve the straw at its best in
length and color, it should be carefully
cut near the ground, by hand, in advance
of the general harvest, and at a time
when the straw has attained its full
growth and the grain just hardening
from he "milky" state. The straw
should be carefully tied it several point.
along the sheaf, to keep it straight after
it has been died. Let it cure in the shade,
so as to insure bright straw. Then wrap
each sheaf separate in strong paper and
pack for shipment, with the wrappers
on. This treatment applies to wheat,
eats, rye, barley and rice.
For the millets and hay grasse. it is
important that they be dug so that the
roots are preserved entire. Wash out
the earth from the roots, being careful
not to injure the grass. Then the grass
should be placed straight in thin layers
DCIWCCH ScNtIdl IulChuCSSCS " dOoOIP
ton paper-old newspapers will answer.
These dryers should be changed several
times the first few days, to avoid mould
ing. In this way the color can be we'll
preserved. Gather the grass just before
it is ripe. Tie the specimens into sheaves
of small size, wrap in paper, box and for
ward to the undersigned as soon as dried,
as it will be necessary to use poison to
keep off insects.
The following information should &C
company each specimen a. Name of OBJ
ject. b.. Name of producer. c. Place
where grown. d. Characters of soil. e.
Date of planting. f. Quantity of seed
planted per acre. G. Method of c~ultiva-
ton. h. Date of harvesting. i. Yield
per acre.
These questions, or as many of them as
may be answered, will secure full credit
to the producer. Freight or express
charges will be paid by the undersigned,
to whom all shipments should be made.
Cannot you undertake to furnish some
of these specimens? If so, write to me
at once, and oblige,
Very respectfully,
T. X. BRUNER,
CnmmicSionor IF Exhibits |
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07
LOOK AT THIS.
A Fine Chance to Get a Home at Low and
Reasonable Prices.

A Fine Chance to Get a Home at Low and
Reasonable Prices.
The Trinity Land company who, it will
be remembered, bought the T. b. Lyon
land near Trinity college only a few
weeks ago, have already had the property
laid off and plated into nice streets and
lots, and are now ready to sell the lots to
any person desiring to build. 1t is the
intention of the company to build up a
nice community out there. Lots will be
sold reasonable, as it is not the purpose
of this company to try to make a fortune
out of it. For prices, ETC., apply to J. b.
Warren, general manager, or G. A. Jor-
dan, secretary and treasurer.
The GLOBE want every school boy
and girl in North Carolina to send dime
to LEO D. HEART, cashier First National
Bank, for the North Carolina exhibit at
the Worlds fair.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07
Master Johnny Takes a Wife.

At Ohoopee Sunday, Master Johnny
Bazemore, aged fourteen years, and
Miss Emma Lynn, aged thirteen years,
were united in marriage at the resi-
dence of one of the brides relatives
They are of good families and are
thought well of by all who know them
They live with the father of the BRIDE
Cor. Atlanta Constitution.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

"In the know" is fashionable slang
hat is later and somewhat more elegant,
if slang has degrees of elegance, or any
at all, for that matter. than Sin the
swim"
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

The imperial Russian ukase prohibit,
ing the expectation of wheat from Rus.
STA has thrown $4,000 men out of EN-
ployment in and near Odessa, and has
driven a large amount of shipping from
the Black sea.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

The police of Cincinnati found a man
a few days ago who had not been out Of
his bedroom for ten years. When asked
why he had remained there so long he
said it was because he wanted to.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

More than two-thirds of the agricul
tural implements, agregating $500, OOO,
imported into Natal, South Africa. last
e were from the United States.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

A New York mar who was liberated
from a hospital a few days ago danced
so violently for JOY that he burst a blood
vessel and died.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

The dividends paid by the various
mining companies last year were greatly
in excess of those of the year before, and
indicate increased labor in this industry
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-07

The success of Hoods Sarsaparilla is
because it possesses true merit, and no
claim is made for it which is not fully
supported.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
HE DID NOT PAY HIS HOTEL BILL.

Gardiner Hubbard eighteen years old, of Dobb'
Ferry the stepson Of NJ. f. De Agnew, member Of
tho Consolidated Exchange, was prisoner at the York
vile Police Court Yesterday afternoon the charge
Of defnuding the proprietor OF tho Murray hin Hotel
Of 9}S. The complainant was Charles +. Ross, the
cashier lie said that the young went TO the hotel
on Thursday OF last week and registered himself ~
Gardiner H. Gilchcr. saying that he was student at
the hekskill Military Academy. and that his father
would be around IN a day or two 10 pay the bill. A.
bills not settled Ross became suspicious. and
when he questioned Gardiner on Wednesday he was
assured every thing sll right. Yesterday morning
Gardiner disposed Of his breakfast and then tried to get
out Of the hotel but Ross was on the alert and pre-
scented to him the bill. Gardiner then said: III you
viii telegraph 60 NJ F. De Agnew, the Consolidated
Exchange he will settle the oil. lie Is my step
father" Ross ut once telephoncd and received the
reply: I'll settle nothing"
Gardiner wRa arrested and taken 10 court. He told
Justice Ryan that there must have been something
wrong with the telephone, he felt assured his step
father his mother would pay the money. The Judge
decided TO hold Gardiner for examination.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
THE ORrEJDs At TIRE EDEN MUSEE.

The orchid show at tho Eden Musco Is attracting
largo numbers OF people each afternoon aud evening.
While the exhibition IS not especially large. it Is an eX
cee-llngy handsome one. flower show has often lost
all It's best effect by bdng pnced In hall large that
the collection made 10 look scattered and the place
bare. The opposite is the case Mt tue Eden Musee.
Tie display IL extensive in proportion 10 tho space
available for IT, and the result IS massing Of flowers
and plants with most pleasing effect. They In q
huge pile In the middle OF the Winter Garden; they are
crowded thick along all the walls and about the stage
they hing from tho front OF the balcony, and the roof
half hidden by fstOOns The consequent Appearance
l. II the flowers were growing IN every spot where
thcy could find 10 cling The Hungarian orches
ira conducted by Muncz aiOS. adds the attractive.
ness Of the exhibition by IT, afternoon and evening
certs and the magician DE KOlta gives a short enter
tainrncnt OF magic In the evening
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
FOR A BIG cnoRUs Of AMrRrcAy uscERs

The managers Of the quadcentennia. celebration which
Il to be held IN this city mkt autumn have secured the
-rylccs Of y. g. p,lt who gave the "AllcgCry Of the
War" for the Grant Monument Fund, organizer OF a
large chorus u all the Enel-h akng singers OF thi,
city end 10, vicinity. ALREADY 400 voices have
been secured and the successful organization OF great
chorus may lo predicted. Since the Spanish Italian
french and German residents o. this city organized
tn sing in their onguage IL proper that rcpe.
chorus composed OF Americans should be heard
Three Statcs-N w-Yok, Ncw.Jersey and Connecticut
already represented. and others VIII d6ubtoss be
heard from shortly. The members Of this chorus Will have
az orpeitunity 30 visit the Columbian Exposition In A
body, and special excursion trla will be provided II
b. understood that the ogana 1aton OF th, chor.
Will In way intcrsrc with The participation Of forecn
residents who wish sing their native Languages
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
CLOSE or THE sMUGGLED GOODS SALE.

The auction sale of goods seized by the Customs
authorities this port for attempted smuggling
completed yesterday at the warehouse No. 265
West-st large crowd in attendance and tho
bidding at times lively. some statuary which
seemed to please the buyers up considerably
hey ond the appraised value and was the only lot
IN the whole collection which brought such prices.
The strikers" who made IL ; unpleasant for both
auctloncers and purchasers the first day were
in attendance yesterday, but did not succeed IN
causing 50 much annoyance before. Yesterdays
receipts S235j 40 making the total for the SIDE
- $40 o. Charles \. Berlian OF the firm Of J.
Thomas searns ~ CO.. conducted the sale, and de-
serves much praise for the man.er in which he do
fcated the attempted " crooked work OF the large
crowd of strikers who had expected to reap
rich harvest from tho inexperienced buyers.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
Ra|.rrctI JOgEYS NlDE HIM INSANE

Harry Woodson. the wellknown old negro define
ator is a patient nj the Flatbush Insane Asylum. and
rumors wers afoat yesterday that his condition
was largely due 10 cruel practical Joking OF which he
was made a victim by the members OF the Western
w. S. Cleveland Consolidated Minstrcls. According
10 the statement OF Of the members Of that or.
gatization John W. Parr. Of No. so south Eightst.
BROOKLYN Nr. oOdson was harshly treated. lie was
ANNOYED in many ways. His trunk was hung to
fhe ceiling OF lis room, in the hotel tomhstones Of
all manner OF articles were built in his dressing
at the theatre. he was directed to wrong dressing
rooms he was induced to tell stories aud then Missed
for his pains. etc.
The company closed its engagement at oni"i'
Three weeks ago Iiy that time the man was almost
crazy Uc missed the train out of town. ana one OF
the iokers. sent him down to FL Paso. Texas For
q week or ter days he wandered about there, or
went from place to place uil his ren,Ves nc'sn ci
his condition, and lie sent home OdsOh mas "A
wife and one Guild who live in Bro0klyn. lie owns
some property. ard his mental condition Is s''iu mol
IN he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
ANOTHER CHURCH WANTS TO MOVE.
TIE UNION REFORMED HAS An OPTION On lhH
THIRD UNIvERsALGsr PROPERTY.

TIE UNION REFORMED HAS AN OPTION On Ihh
THIRD UNIyERsALGsr PROPERTY.
one OF the latest changes among DOWNTOWN cnuro"e'
is the pro,ected removal OF the Union reformed o"ur0'
at No % siNthave. Of which the Rev Dr. H. " D
Mver + minister The matter Is stu In tentative se'
INIT A. general desire the change Is manifested Oh
the mart Of the members, the removal VIII pfooao's
,sbe n,oce Tho Third Universaist Church. IN "eso
Eeventhst wishes to dispose Of its property and moVo
IN q no,nt west OF Central Park, and the Union he-
t,rnod congregation has secured all option on the se'
Tho Union has not made that progress In recent years
which its friends wish, owing largely to the proximity
Of several stronger societies. having greater financial
aid M their DISPOSAL which has euablcd them to equip
their churches with modern adjuncts for aggressive
eyoncelistic work The elevated nilroad passes Ill
ractv I'm front OF the building, which is also disad-
vantage.
Tue contemplated change Is not radical one, aS
the Eleventh-st property, tho refusal OF when mas
been secured for a days only Is not far away, ana
I'm no case win the society 60 above Fourteenth-St
II Is believed that the present membership cannot only
lac retained but many accesslOns can be secured of
,opl living I'm the vicinity OF Eleventst who could
not be Induced to attend the church where 1t Is now
The problem /, how raise the sum involved IN inc
,rrcfaIe of me tniversallst Church property Inc
society owns It's present building and the Lease OF we
sitc las eight years still TO run. The SAFE OF thls
leas, will bring In part OF the desired sum There
are at present $50 members.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-04
nryyyrss coIrrGrs AND TIE BIO FAIR

The business colleges OF the country have applied for
space for IL worthy exhibit Of their speciality ut the
Worlds Fair They propose Ia erect business offices
and . bank and 10 represent the actual processes oi
financial accounting and spondonce they exist In
the business world. The departments OF business de
mnndlng record will be VI sufficient variety and ex
tent to exhibit tho best forms Of account keeping known
In the commercial world. and tho bank will be as com
pcto In II, functions any bank In existence having
In It's manlpuiions all the forms OF vouchers and bust
ness paper together with notes OF Issue and small
coins.
The department oi correspondence win also be com
plctc showing the best sldu IN shorthand and type
writing and the best modern devices Tor conducting
correspondence The daily transactions which VIII
keep their busy Offices al work will come from the vari
on, business colleges and commercial schools OF the
country II Is designed keep at work during the six
months from fifteen twenty Ave clerks and stenog
rphcs under the cement OF expert teachers. the
whole 10 Of undergraduates and u those whose
knowledge and SKIN have from school instruction.
These opentprs Will D. selected 10y competitive oxaml
natlOns from the commercial schools OF tile country
II is presumed that tho exhibit IN ite Oicetttugs and
conduct viii not less than from c25,OOO to s3O
OOO which win readily be contributed by the business
COLLEGES.