Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1892-09-03
sM LIES.

WHISKY DarIoW-i soy "NiN'
Bits.
He-Don't you thing | am rawthe
good looking? She--In way. He
What kind OF way. She--Away OIL
faman does not like dogs and cats
it means nothing, but If cats ana uoee
do not like him it means heap'
New York Herald.
"This is leap year." said Miss Filyp
Relatively. "Yes, but look before
Won leap.n replied Miss Fosdick.-
Detroit Free Press.
she-Do you love me for mysell
alone? He-Yes, and when we re
married | don't want any Oh the IAN
ilv thrown in.-Brooklyn Lie.
D;d Won have a good time at the
,icnic. Maud? No. Horrid. How
was that? | was kept busy taking
care OF our chaperon.-Harper's Ba-
zar.
He-Oh, Mabel ask me to do some
deed OF daring to prove my love She
We'll, 90 and ask papa TO let us get
married right away. He collapsed
Fun.
Captain-Why didn't you shoot that
mad dog | sent you to kill2 Ot1cer
(saluting)-The 5. 7. 9. A. presented
proofs that the poor beast was insane.
Puck.
Harrv-I'ye come to believe the
Summer girl has a heart of stone.
Jack-Nonsense It's india rubber
melts in Summer and hardens in
Winter.-Puck.
Johnny-What did your mother
whip YOU for, Jimmy? Jimmy-Eat-
ing green fruit. Johnny-Who gave
ye away? Jimmy-The DOCTOR
Washington Star.
Persevering Widower-It was she
who drove me to drink. Miss A. "a
little weary)-What could she have
driven you to that you would have
liked better ?-Life.
Jess-George told Ethel ice cream
would make her teeth ache. Bess-
What did she say? Jess-Oiiered to
stop at the dentists and have 'em out.
New York Herald.
81 hate Smithwick," said Brown
stone. "and I'm glad his boy is musi-
cal" "Why?' asked his friend.
because | am going to give him an
accordion. boston Transcript.
Papa" said Harry, as he looked at
his new baby brother. 81 wish we had
seven more, because with him ana
me and seven more we'd have base
ball nine. ."-Harper's Young People.
Mr.. Nagley-I suppose you think
YOU never made a mistake since you
were born. Mrs. Nagley--I can't say
that, but haven't made many since
was married Kate Fields Washing
ton.
First Artist-Have you heard OF Ia
lette's misfortune? Second Artist
No. What is it? First Artist-He
painted realistic picture OF beef
steak and his pet dog ate it up.-Chi-
cago News Record.
"See, Mary, are not these flowers
beautiful" Deed and they are,
Miss. Many time have | seen just
like 'em in bunnits Amt it wonder
ful how nat'ral the Lord can make
things ?'-Life's Calendar.
He-Won't you let me have kiss
now that l am going away for a day !?
Shelf you can give any good reason
why | should | might think about it
possibly. He-I should like to es-
tablish precedent.-Life.
First Summer Girl-Too bad, dear.
So all is over between you and Mr..
Nicefello2 Second Summer Girl weep
ing)-Yes, he-he hadn't any mo-
more ice cream money, boo hoo, hoo !!
New York Weekly.
Miss Oathin-Do you suppose Mr..
Clover gave Daisy her new ring2 Miss
Millet-No; | guess she bought it
with vegetables from her garden, for
i heard her say it was an lS-carrot
ring.-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Fred-There seems to be a lot more
fuss made OF Miss As singing
than Miss ks, and l am sure
Miss K-has by far the richer voice.
Jack-Ah, yes; but Miss A has by
far the richest father.-London Pick
Me-Up.
Wigley-I wonder how Badgley's
wife happens to be 80 fine linguist
Wagley-It was because she found
she couldn't express herself IN one
language when Badgley came home at
4 o'clock in the morning.-Chicago
lnter-Ocean.
"Did you go on that trout fishing
excurslon2" 81 did," "Did you fish
with fiies2" "Yes, We fished with
them, camped with them, dined with
them, slept with them-why, man,
they almost ate us alive. New York
Press.
Teacher-No, Jimmie; it is a scien-
tific fact, and very plain one, that nc
two objects can occupy the same space
at the same time. Jimmy-H'm!
Mebbe | amt seen my sister Nell an
her feller in the hammock too many
times ter take any such bluff as dat =
Boston News.
Elder Wabash (Chicago)-I have
been requested by the congregation to
call and demonstrate with you. Rev
White-What about? Elder Wabash
Last Sunday you took "The old
story" as your text. Now, they object
to man who gets such a salary as
You do working over any chestnuts.
Mother-My little girl goes to sleeI
SO nicely every night when l sing &c
her. Isn't that so. Mamie? Mamie
Yes, that's SO, ma. The mother
leaves the room for a moment and
Mamie says to the visitor: "Don'
tell ma, but l only make out that
am asleep to get her to stop singing
she sings 80 awful bad."-Texas Silt
ings.
IA