The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1892-01-08
Mr.. AND MIS-. sowsea.
The Head Of the House shaves Himself.
Mira. Bowser to Blame as Usual.

small package when he came home the
other evening.
MRS. Bowser," he replied, "did you read
of that case iE Troy where Il barber cut
| customer slightly on the cheek ami he died
Of blood poisoningY
mo Say, you've gone and gos another
shaving outfit"
Another? When did ever have one?''
"You got one two or three years ago in
Detroit, and how did you come out with itf
Mr.. Bowser, you do the most foolish things
Of any man ever heard Of in all my life"
81 do, Ell? Is it foolish for me to want to
avoid blood poisoning by shaving myself,
to say nothing Of the enormous saving of
money! Yes, | did get an outfit in De-
| troit, bat | had a boil on my arm and
couldn't handle the razor"
"And You cut yourself and pranced
around and whooped until the neighbors
thought we had fire. How much did
! this outfit cost?'
"Only ten dollars"
"Ten dollars thrown right away
| us it? Let's see about that. Having
my own outfit | can shave daily. That's
20 cents u week, or $3.50 per month Seems
to me that $34 per year is worth saving. In
the twenty years | have been shaving I
| could have saved the trifle of $780, Where
|
ore you now Mrs BowserS"
| "Just where was before. You'll shave
| once and that'l end it,"
Twill it? If that's your opinion / have a
great surprise in store for you. Ive been
taking lessons of barber on how to handle
the razor, and can shave clean in exactly
four minutes. Easiest thing in the world
| when you know how Just think of the
$3.50 have thrown awayf'
well. suppose you'll try it in spite of
anything that can say but shall decline
to be held responsible for any trouble"
"Responsible TROUBLED How could l
hold you responsibles And what trouble
can there be?"
why, that time in Detroit you almost
.tore the house down because you cut your
ear"
"Poohl | was probably joking. Don't
remember thing about it."
! After dinner Mr.. Bowser look bowl of
| hot water and started up stairs, saying to
Mrs. Bowser as he went:
Better time me by the clock. l may be
six or seven minutes this time, but I'll be
right on tick tomorrow night"
Let's seel'' he unused as he opened th
box and stood before the glass. '"The first
thing is to lather, of course. That s as easy
as rolling off log. This is something like
comfort, this is. Hanged if | don't believe
| shall want to shave twice dayP'
Mr.. Bowser decided to put on plenty of
lather. He put it on his chin, cheeks, nose,
forehead, ears and throat, and more or less
fell on the carpet When he had lathered
until both arms ached, and no more would
stick to him, he picked up the razor and
chuckled:
II just hold it with three fingers, this
way, and lay it on my cheek this way, and
move it gently down. A child three years
old could do that. I'll show Mrs Bowser
trick or two before Pm through. Good
woman, but she thinks she knows it all.
Razor just slides"-
Mr. Bowser gave jump and at the same
instant he saw the lather stained with
blood.
Don't amount to anything-just the
head of pimpeF' he whispered to him
self. Barber told me to keep my arm
stiff, and forgot Can't expect to get the
hang of it in one minute, you know. A
little more lather'
He lathered away until it began to drop
off, and then picked up the razor again.
"Mr Bowser, what's the matter?' called
Mrs. Bowser as she kicked on the door
"Nothingl" he answered.
'Then what are you jumping around SO
fors thought you'd shake the chande-
iers downP'
1.-THE blamed thing must have slipped on
mel' he growled as he returned to the glass
to survey the cut. Probably didn't hold
it exactly right. Ali that's more like the
way the barber told me to hold it, Now,
then, take it easy till you get the hang of
it. May be ten minutes this time, but on
the next occasion Pip
'Mr. Bowser, open this doori" called
Mrs. Bowser from the hall.
"W-what do you wwant?" he gasped.
Il want to know what all this swearing
and kicking over the chairs meansI Didn't
| tell you how you would come outr'
you go awayl Pm all right 1t was
the man next door you heardp'
Mrs Bowser heard yell and started for
the stairs. She met Mr. Bowser half way
up. The lather was flying about and the
blood streamed down on his shirt bosom
and his eyes were as big as onions
well, didn't say SOP" she demanded.
Her words brought Mr. Bowser to him
self He turned back, beckoned to her to
follow and as they entered the bedroom he
silently pointed. The razor lay on the floor,
| the bowl was broken in three pieces and
there was lather everywhere.
| three towels and placed two chairs on their
| legs again.
"Womanr" he hoarsely whispered. this
is too much"
why, what have done?"
''Sure Done! Look at meI''
YES, but you tried to shave yourself"
But who dragged me into it?"
"Mr. Bowser, you certainly can't blame
| me. / told you before you"-
That's enoughl This is the limit
| understand it ALL and can see just how you
planned It'll 1t is not your fault that did
not cut my throat and that you are not
now widowl Mrs. Bowser, leave me to
| myself have some papers to look over
before consulting a lawyer tomorrowp'-
| M. Quad in New York World.
Where Economy begins.
| !, ; - il NJ ,hn