Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1892-05-02
GOVERNMENT VERMIN.
How the Ants, Reaches Rats and
Mice Poster Politicians.
FEMALE CLERKS TAKE FRIGHT
Al the Measlsy Little Rodents Which ScamPsr
About the Departments-Clsaning at the
White House-How Politicians are
Troubled BY the Pensioners
Ipsaal 7sleoram 70 re Rs5istsr

WASHINGTON, May LII Cabinet
officer or other official suddenly ex-
claims rats" while you are presenting
some matter which you believe dema-dS
his serious attention 10 will not DO 10
4 construe this expression into leyity or
contempt. It should always be remem-
bered that that this exclamation may
have two applications. While the word
+ according 70 most common usage ln thls
4 country, has an untranslateaOle Signh-
canee OF contempt mingled with fatigue,
and therefore, according TO the teach
ing Of Dean Afford, that the most COM
mon usage Of the word is that which
must be accepted as correct, one may
very properly assume that 10 is used In
its most approved sense, the word does,
I'm fact, however, apply 20 certain YER
min which infest houses, sewers,
wbarves and other similar places. lt
will not. therefore, do to assume that
. the public official in Washington who
exclaims ''ratS" is making use OF slang
and desires TO still you.
A conversation i'm any OF the Govern
ment departments In Washington Is
liable TO be interrupted by the appear
ance of a rat. and the expression might
very naturally be provoked in this way
The tenement regions OF a great city
are not more infested with rats, per-
haps, than are the departments and the
White House 40 Washington. II is not
only rats. but mice, reaches, water bugs
and ants that make their homes In these
edi6ceS.
Every spring Uncle Sam makes a
systematic raids upon these yermin.
There are rat-huntS To the White
House. i'm the Treasury Department,
I'm the Post Office Department, IN the
Interior Department and so on through
them all, accompanied by great excite
ment and many incidents which inspire
the sporting instincts of the Executive
and his honorable assistants. Poison,
terriers and ferretS have been tried and
great has been the slaughter from
lime TO time, but still the rats abound,
feasting 90 Uncle Sans bounty, pen
siOners on the nation, and prapOgate
and multiply beyond the shore of cal
culation. II pied piper, footing on his
fascinating flute, should march from
The White House down 20 the riverside,
30 might fll up the flats with the car
.asses OF federal rats and then, il his
y
he should be compelled to make
2 Slain before Congress and await their
/ action for his pay, he might revenge
l himself by trying tune attractive 10
4 onice-see6ers, lobbyists and political
prophets, thus getting his revenge and
benedting the community at the same
time
A raid has been made on the rats 10
n the Postoftica and Treasury Depart
\ ments with terriers and ferretS, and the
4 sport will continue until the White
House and other departments have been
II visited and temporary relief found. But
Hthe smaller vermin which infeSt the de-
4 partmentS are even more annoying than
Nthe rats aud infinitely more difficult TO
lCet rid Of. OF much more tnan the
Traditional lamb Is the mousse terrible
thing among the ladieS-and, therefore,
,lthe sensitive females employed 20 work
+ for Uncle Sam iu his printing Office and
departments is IN constant terror
r~. lunch time when those little
Atures = are liable at any mo-
~ 20 poke their noses inquir-
GIy around the corner OF desk. Ia
Sme OF the rooms In certain OF the de-
apartments, some Of these mice have be-
rome dOmeSticated, and are on intimate
terms with the male clerks, coming up
very suddenly 10 get crumbs from their
Iunch There is a suspicion that GER
bin gentlemen who enjoy the OcCu-
|ancy OF their rooms without the intrU-
On of the female typewriter or cOpyist
ke sOne delight in cultivating the
iendshiB OF these mice, regarding
~. Fura - Ns-u.r 90,
bard their doors against the undeSir
bic intrusion of females.
But the ants are more persistent and
Experiment than either the rats or the
ice They have not the courtesy %
ait until lunch time 20 feed upon the
fumbs that drop from the clerks nap
I'M, but long before that hour they
sually infest every parcel In which
GOD for the midday repaSt is kept, and
here seems TO be nothing on earth
hort of locking the lunches in the
eults which will keep them free
rom the Intrusion of this vermin.
Usually in entering public Offices
you will find little parcels containing
sandwiches, crackers and cheese or
weet things suspended by a little cord
rom the chandeliers This is a device
very commonly adopted by the clerks
lO keep their lunches from the ants;
but it is not always effective, as by a
ew years experience, these little
eatures have learned TO climb the
bills and In some way get down on the
kandeliers and march, like an army in
Ingle tile, down the narrow twine SuS-
ending the lunch. Books too, stored
way in the easements are frequently
badly mutnated as TO the binding, by
be hungry reaches aud water bugs.
The cunning man in Congress is he
Tho knows how 70 avail himself OF
very opportunity that the contri-
ances Of Uncle Sam afford for the
irkiHg Of arduOuS labor. One of the
eatest plaques of COngreSsiOr al life
it has been bemOaned for many
rs-is the obligation which devolves
on members Of Congress, to hunt up
hsion cases and claims and all sorts of
Ormation from thsRnepartments.
cir department WORK Is probably
he labor;ous than anything they do
he Capitol, aud the correspondence
ally relates more 10 this than TO
slative affairs. Even base ball
horse-races or defective
IS AZ home have not done
much TO derive the House OF a
um from time TO time, as the ne
ty for members to absent them
esfrom the Capitol while "legging'
out the departments. It Is always
I'd excuse, after call Of the House,
member who has been absent to