Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-02-21

brown pentagonal patch In the dome of a
pair of buff knickerbockers, and make it
look as though it had always been there; .
sort of map of the seat of wore.
In making days pilgrimage among
Washington's chairs in the Pennsylvania
farm houses where His Excellency loved to
sit, one is half convinced that he was the
author of the universal remark which in
PRODUCES the performance of all respectable
minstrel communicating seated, gentle
men," But it seems that nobody ever sat
down except Washington. And, so far as
can be ascertained, the families which enter
tanned the Commander and his staff never
owned but one chair. He got the only chair
in the house. When they had no company,
the family sat upon the floor and let their
feet hang over. But the poorest and hum
blest family in Pennsylvania always kept
one chair on hand for Washington to sit on.
And whenever he heard of a new chair, he
arose from the one he was then sitting in,
the buggles sounded forward, and the army
broke camp, Washington would fall upon
the unsuspecting enemy like thunderbolt,
break his shattered battalions in pieces,
drive him back into his intrenchments, and
proudly sit in the chair, his valor had
wrested from the grasp of the invader. If
there had been more chairs, there would
have been more battles. 'r..-r. r nd
Why Lafayette Didn't SIT.
Once was shown a chair at Chadd's Ford
in which Lafayette sat. Lafayette wasn't
a very steady sitter. This is the only chair
I have seen that had been occupied by him.
sat in it also by request; my own. I did
not sit in it long, either 1 understood, as
I did not before, why Lafayette afterward
preferred standing when he stopped at the
farmhouse for crust of bread and glass
of milk. When 1 called, the children,
descendants of their ancestors. had been
having their frugal luncheon upon the La
fayette chair. Prehistoric chairs and
cotemporaneous bread crumbs and treacle Of
the peculiarly viscid and tenacious "black
strap" brand made combination that is
more enjoyable in retrospect than realiza-
tion.
How singular 1t is that a man like Wash
ington, whose love for the truth, pure, SIM
pie and sweet, was a passion of his life,
should have inspired so many people to tell
such awful whacks. A "whack," you
know, is the mildest term you can apply to
traditions which you invent on the spot.
You know when you 20 to Mount Vernon
the guide, If you ask him to do so, will
point out the spot where Washington stood
when he threw silver dollar across the
river.
He showed me the place, and pointed out
about the spot on the other bank where the
dollar fell. I looked, and if you'll believe
me-and of course you WILL you have to in
an article on Washington-there wasn't
living soul about there and it was 10 o'clock
in the morning Of course, didn't believe
q word of the story
'But," the guide said, "that was 40
years ago."
1 don't care if it was 500 years ago; there
would be people out there every day look
ing for that dollar. Because there is no
record that it was ever picked up. I may
not know history very well, but know the
American people. I know millions of men
who wonld rather hunt for quarter for six
weeks than work two days for So. Look at
the people who are hunting for Captain
Kidd's money.
There may be some historical inaccura-
cies in this brief paper, but if perusal of
these lines shall inspire you to close your
store tomorrow, and to go home and read
Bancroft's history of the United States
through before you go to bed, it will have
accomplished a great deal more than the
contract calls for So no more at present.