The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-11-04
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.


"a long time in making up her mind
which to choose, for none Of the birds
seemed TO suit her. At last the sales
woman lost all patience. Excuse me
ma'am," she said angrily, "but your
husband can't have been half SO long
in choosing you "-Fliegende Blatter
The Cats Mistake: Father-ThaI
cat made an awful noise in the back
garden last night. Arnold-Yes, faith
er; think that since he ate the cana
ry he thinks he can sing-Tid Bits.
A Nantucket man once made a BET
that on Cape Cod Holsters grew three
feet long, and a committee Of judges
went to Cape Cod TO decide the wager.
Failing to find Holsters Of the necessary
size, the Nantucketer offered to pro
duce afidayits made by reputable ma
tives that they had frequently seen lob
sters three feet long. The judges, hav-
ing debated this proposal, brought in
the following verdict: "Afidayits are
not Holsters"
Small But Valuable: Borus-What
| value most is my peace Of mind. Crit
Gus That's strange, too. You've such
small piece.-Harpers Bazaar.
A Consistent Reformer: Sub-Editor
Here is an article favoring q simpli-
fed spelling Of the English language.
Editor Who wrote it? Sub-Editor-
A man named Smythe.-Puck.
of the World Worldly; 'There 90
the Spicer Wilcoxes, mammal Pm
told they're dying to know us. Hadn't
we better cal? 2" Certainly not, dear.
If they're dying 10 know us, they're not
worth knowing. The only people worth
our knowing are the people who don't
want to know US. Punch.
Limited Enjoyment: "Do you enjoy
good health, Mr.. Testy ?" ask Nc
Queary. "Yes; when ] get any p
snapped the old dyspephc.-Puck.
Wife-What do you suppose baby is
thinking about? Brutal Husband Il
s'pose he's thinking what to cry about
tonight
The Scientific Method Old Doctor
No, sir. / never had a patient die
on my hands-never. Young Doctor
How do you manage it? Old Doctor
When / find a man is going to die, /
get him to call in a specialist.-Llfe.
The Landlord Knew: Visitor lat
seaside boarding house)-I say, land
lord, your food is worse than it was last
year. Landlord-ImpOssible, STRIP
Tid Bits.
AT a cricket match one Of the best
bats in a certain club turned up SO
highly elevated that, as he said, he
could "shee three batsh and three
ballsh." "Never mind, 90 in and bang
the middle bal" said the captain. lie
went in, and was clean bowled first ball.
"Hang it all, you didn't hit the middle
ball" " demonstrated the captain. "Yesh,
add" replied the man with the multi
piled vision, "but | hit it with the out
shide bat."-TId Bits.
"George. DEAR" said the young wife,
as her husband was about TO kiss her
before going down town, "the dressmak-
er is coming to-day, and she will proba-
bly, be here TO dinner this evening"
'Then, darhng," said the young hus-
band, the light Of revenge shining in
his eyes, shave some Of that huckle-
berry pudding that your mother taught
you to make. Make it With your own
hands, dear, for" he went on with a
strange glitter in his eyes, Il want to
make a dead sure thing Of it."-Cloak
Review.
Joseph Jefferson was recently being
driven through the Bourne woods (near
his house in Buzzard's Bay to o pond
to fish by a native who ventured to ask
"Do you act, Mr.. Jefferson~ 'Yes, a
little" "Well III give yer 90 cents to
cut up little right here"
Smiths Legacy: $50 you married
Smiths widow? Did he leave any
thing" Nothing but her, and | wish
he hadn't"
How The Poor Are Robbed !:
The nets which we use against the
poor are those worldly embarrassments
which either their ignorance or their
improvidence are almost certain at some
time or other to bring them INTO: then,
just at the time when we ought to has
ten to help them -. we rush forward
to piilage them, and force all we can
out Of them in their adversity. This is
literally and simply what we do when
ever we buy or try to buy, cheap goods
goods offered at price we know can
not be remunerahve for the labour In
volyed in them. Whenever we buy
such goods, remember we are stealing
somebody's labour. Don't let us mince
the matter. / say in PLAIN Saxon,
srEALNG-taking from him the proper
reward of his work, and putting 1t into
our own pocket. You know well enough
that the thing could not have been Of
fered you at that price, unless distress
Of some kind had forced the producer
to part with it. You take advantage
Of this distress, and you force as much
out Of him as you can under the cir
The old barons of the
middle ages used, in general, the thumb
screw to extort property; we moderns
use, in preference, hunger or domestic
"a ngxl.ok.rs, b,xk kho r. - ~e <wkn~A.n~ -.