davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11

A Paducah clergyman tells this; 81 mar
ried couple up in Allen county, and after
| had pronounced them man and wife the
groom took me to one side and asked me
what the damage was. ! told him that
there was no fixed price He might give
me whatever he chose
"'Parson,' said he. I've got five hound
pups down home for which | am asking
five dollars apiece, and I'll let you have one
for three dollars
"Of course declined 80 ridiculous a fee.
as had no use for the hound pups.
when he got home he must have found
his wife better than he expected, for no
sent me one Of the hound pups, accom-
panied with "a letter saying that he was 80
happy with Maria that he would give me "A
dog for nothing" - Louisville Courier
Journal
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11
The Wrong Man Presented at Court.

The Wrong Man Presented at Court.
There is a colored messenger at the de-
partment of state who has been attached
TO the service for many years in one capac-
ity and another, and is valued by officials
because of his intelligence and general use
fulness. The old gentleman tells an Incl
dent illustrating the potency of clothes on
either side Of the Atlantic He was a
few years since, as general utility man TO a
party Of distinguished statesmen, on AN
important diplomatic mission. The party
was hidden TO an important social function
at one Of the Continental courts and "a the
affair took place in the afternoon, the iii.
plomats started out arrayed in their finest
frock coats according TO the best American
usage.
Only the colored aid-de-camp, who went
along TO look after coats and hats, wore
the usual dress suit of his place. When
the party arrived mt the palace the colored
contingent, who did not know the lingo.
found himself hustled through the dress
ing room by a lot Of lackeys, and before
he could realize the situation was ushered
alone into the presence Of royalty. There
is no color prejudice on the other side, and
he was taken for the chief representative
Of the American republic. When he es-
capped from the unexpected prominence il
was TO find himself alone in strange
tongued city. The rest Of the delegation, IA
he learned when he found his way back,
had been sternly excluded because of their
unconventional uniforms. The old gentle
man frequently relates with glee how he
carried of the hono-s for the joint high
commission - Washington Post
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11

It has been discovered that the human
mouth is slowly but surely and steadily
moving toward the left Of the face, which
will, in time bring it somewhere in the
neighborhood Of the left ear All the five
great races Of man have an uncomfortable
tendency to eat only with the teeth which
grow from the left jaws. This wears out
the left teeth more rapidly than those ON
the right side Of the mouth, and this in
turn gives the upper and lower jaws an in
clination toward the left
1t is the expressed opinion Of many sci
entists who are foremost in the world roll
Of professional honor that i'm the course Of
time the mouth, from causes above men
toned, will have completely changed its
position, and that il will then be situated
rather nearer the left ear than to the nose.
st. Louis Republic.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11

At dinner party in England the host
introduces to the favorable notice Of the
company, amid murmurs Of admiration. a
splendid truffled pheasant.
Isn't it beauty" he says. DIR. so
and -so gave IL TO me; killed IL himself"
"Aw-what was he treating IL fory" says
one Of the guests. -New York Home Jour
Il
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11
ONE DAY AT A TIME.

When worry and care and toll are ours,
And the days weary heights we climb,
Let's think of the restful evening hours
We live but one day at a timel
So let us toll on for those we love,
To fret and despair is a crime;
Twill lessen our load TO look above
We live but one day at "A timel
And at last. when life's gray shadows fall,
Ere we pass TO the realms sublime,
We shall hear the Masters welcome call,
Thou hast lived well-one day at a timer
John Imrie.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11

IL is astonishing what an amount Of heat
Russians seem capable Of bearing. Even
ON the hot days Of August great many Of
the officers would wear their thick mill
tary cloaks. Temple Bar.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11
Not the spirit Of the Promise.

Lily Devereux Blake tells story OF one
woman who said, when Obadiah said,
With all my worldly goods | thee endow.'
didn't know that II meant one calico dress
a year"
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-11

Weekly in Northwestern Washington
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
LAZARUS AND LUCIFER.
St Paul Dispatch, Rep.

St Paul Dispatch, Rep.
A disposition is manifested to have
considerable fun at the expense of the
chairman of the Minnesota Democratic
state central committee, and Mr.. Dana,
of the New York Sun. has drawn upon
his fertile Imagination and produced a
Dickens pen picture which represents
the Minnesota chairman as Lazarus
waiting at the gate for the political
crumbs from the table of the presiden-
tial Dives in New York city. This is in
the Suns best style, and is humorous,
but 1t is not truthful.
Mr.. Lewis Baker, the Lazarus in ques-
ton, is in New York on family affairs.
and also on legitimate business con-
nected with his executive functions as
the representative of the Minnesota De-
mOcracy, and not, as the Sun would
have it appear, as beggar at the door
of the preSident-elect. The editor of the
GLOBE has no need 10 seek political
aims. His position is that Of a party
leader who has done vast amount OF
work for his party, alike III his capacity
as chairman Of the state central COM
mittee. and as editor and proprietor
of the foremost Democratic daily
newspaper in the Northwest. A man
so situated and with such claims for
consideration is not political mendi-
cant, but political peer whose voice
and views will inevitably have due
weight in party counsels. Mr.. Baker is
at the head of the Democratic organ
iZati0n in Minnesota, and no amount of
iampo0ning in the columns of the Sun
can make him appear otherwise. His
influence is certain TO be potent with
the incoming administration as regards
the distribution of federal patronage in
this state. 1t should be so, for he has
earned the right to be heard.
Doubtless there was time when the
editor OF the GLOBE. like hundreds of
thousands of other Democrats through
out the country. seriously doubted the
wisdom of nominating Mr.. Cleveland
for the presidency, but he found reasons
for changing his convictions in this re-
gard, and from the moment of the
change no man surpassed him i'll loyal
and energetic service in behalf of his
party and its candidate. 1t is easy to
guess that this is his offense in the eyes
of the editor Of the Sun, and this the
animus of Mr.. Dana's satirical wrath
against a brother Democrat and a
brother editor.
Mr. Baker has much the best of the
situation. He can afford to let the
heathen rage, to meet froWns with
smiles. when be considers the contrast
between the ultimate fate of Lazarus
and that of Lucifer-the one resting
serenely in Abraham's bosom; the 9th
er. who would rather rule in hades than
take anything short of first place i'll
paradise, eternally roasting i'll the
flames of isappointmenU,m malice, hatred
and all uncharitableneSS.
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
GROWERS OATH.

1t is now being violently urged against
Mr.. CLEVELAND by the sanctlfied or
gans of the defeated that he swore q
big ''damme' in emphasizing the fact
that he would not make promises of
spOlls in order to secure support in the
presidential candidacy. "rll see myself
damned before III do it," is what thew
say Mr.. CLEVELAND said in answer to
certain ante-election stipulations which
the Tammany chieftains sought TO i'm
pose; and for this dreadful Iapse info
profanity the high moral g. O. D. press
now calls Mr.. CLEVELAND to account
and invites upon him the whitening
scorn of the truly godly.
1t is doubtful whether Mr.. CIEvE-
LAND made use of the expression at
trlbuted to him, but if he did use it in
the connection intimated. he deserves a
large credit mark. The man who is
willing to be damned before he will
agree to prostitute the public patronage
to further his own ambitions is the man
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
THE SAMOAN TREATY.
1t VIII Soon Be Ready for Ratift-
cation.

1t VIII Soon Be Ready for Ratifi-
cation.
WASHINGTON, Nov. 22.-Ihe negotla-
tions to modify the Berlln-SamOa II
treaty, which have been in progress for
some time at Washington, London sand
Berlin, are drawing to close and
within short time the result will be
ready for ratification by the powers.
The proposed changes are not radical,
it is SAID, and important only as they
are expected to lead to a more harmo-
nious and satisfactory condition of
things in Samoa. 1t would not be as
tonishing if they included the recogni-
ton of Maataafa as king instead Of
MaletOa.
Maataafa has been in state of pas
Sive rebellion against the constituted
authority for some months, and now
claims TO have been elected king by
lhree of the plincipalities OF the coun-
try, which, under the former practice or
the country, would make him the reign
ing potentate. The United States has
always been ready to recognize Maa-
taafa, but the Germans installed Mile
toa before the formers vigorous assault
upon the German colony, in which a
number were killed. The U. s. S. Alli-
ance is now Ell route from Honolulu to
protect American interests i'll case OF a
fresh outbrpak of any kind. The Alll-
ance is an old boat which recently re-
turned from China to this country TO go
out of service. She will be replaced by
the Ranger.
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23

1t is universally recognized that the
welfare of society would be promoted
by greater uniformity in the marriage
and divorce laws OF the various states
of the Union. The wide discrepancy in
these laws has OccaSi0ned innumerable
unfortunate complications and been the
theme OF unending satire and ridicule.
At the meeting of state boards of COM
missionerS for promoting uniformity OF
laws i'll the United States, convened in
New York last week, the subject of
laws governing marriage and divorce
received especial attention, with the
result that the following preliminary
recommendations were made:
l. That the age of consent to marriage
should be raised to eighteen in the male and
sixteen in the female. (The common rule
prevailing in many Of the states makes mar
riage valid between boys of fourteen and
girls of twelve)
y That legislation be adopted requiring
some ceremony or formally, or written evil
dence signed by the parties and attested by
one or more witnesses, in ali marriages; pro-
Ylded that III states where marriage without
ceremony is now recognized as valid no such
marriage shall hereafter be valid unless evi-
denced By a writing signed by the parties
and attested by at least two witnesses.
3. That no Judgment or decree of divorce
shall be granted unless the defendant shall
have been domiciled within the state i'll
which the action may be brought or had
been domiciled there at the time the cause
of action arose, or unless the defendant shall
have been personally served with process
within the state or shall have voluntarily ap-
peared in such action or proceeding.
These recommendations are worthy
of adoption by the legislatures of all
states where the conditions they propose
are not already in force. 1t is impera-
tive that the universal institution of
matrimony should be regulated and pro-
tected by laws as nearly universal as
possible. 1t is to be hoped that during
the coming winter the legislatures of
the various states will take some action
toward reforming the laws in this re-
Spect on harmonious and homogeneous
lines
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
WHERE is PETROFF.
The Alaskan Census Agent Has
DisapDeared.

Disappeared.
WASHINGTON. Nov. 22.-Nothing has
been heard of Ivan Petrotf, the Russian
Alaskan expert, who made false repre-
SentatiOnS to the state department
which were embodied in the case of the
government of the United States before
the Behring sea arbtrators. since the
exposure of his duplicity was made.
He has disappeared utterly. and one OF
his friends has expressed the fear that
he has made way with himself. In the
early fall Petroff was with his family at
Hanover, Pa, and thence came to Balti-
more. Letters addressed to him there,
however, have been returned unclaimed.
There Is a wide mlSapprehenSion of
the nature Of the falSlficatlonS made by
PetrOff in the Behring sea case, the gen
eral impression being that he furnished
wrong figures respecting the seal in
dustry. That was not the case. He
was not asked to give any figures.
What he did was to interpolate i'll trans
latlonS of certain Russian documents
bearing on the subjects notations con-
tanned i'll the original, and which ten
dered to strengthen the claim of the
United States government. In one case
it is said he falSItied letter entirely.
This was so entirely different from its
probable character that its exposure led
to the belief that the man was insane.
He has falsitied, as matter of fact,
all his reports of the census. Petrotf
was in Washington a week ago last
Friday, when he confessed his fabri
CATION to Secretary of State Foster, and
then disappeared. His census work,
which Mr.. Biodgett, has been put IN
charge OF, cannot affect more than small
portion of the Alaskan bulletin. Even
ii it should prove to be inaccurate,
which has not yet been done, however,
there were seven agents engaged in
Alaska, and Petroff was responsible for
the statistics of but small portion of
the territory.
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
FARMERS In CONGRESS.
The Twelfth Annual Session Opens
in Lincoln, Neb.

LINCOLN, Neb., Nov. 22.-The OPEN
ing session of the twelfth annual meet
ing of the National Farmers congress
began in this city today with fair at
tendance. Vice President Purse, of
Savannah, Ca. called the meeting to
order. Gov. Boyd in a brief address
welcomed the delegates to Nebraska
and Mayor Weir extended to them the
freedom of the city. The balance of the
morning session was occupied in short
speeches by different delegates and citi-
zens of Lincoln.
At the afternoon session resolutions
were offered and referred TO a COM
mittee declaring opposition to deals in
options and in favor of organized effort
for better roads; providing for what it
is proposed to call the National Board
of Agriculture, comprising one delegate
and one alternate from each state.
whose duty it will be to look after con-
gressional legislation in the interest of
the farming classes. A committee was
appointed to examine into the working
of the government experiment planting
and report at the next annual meeting.
The evening session was devoted to the
reading nf DaDerS on agricultural topics
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
SCORED Tfi.. LECTURER.
Grangers Take Exception to Re-
port,

CONCORD, N. H., Nov. 22.-At the
national grange meeting today two
hours were spent in approving yester-
days journal, owing to the wording of
the supplementary report submitted by
MessrS. Rhone and CHARTERS. of the eX-
ecutive committee. This is the Begin
ming of probable contest between the
opposing financial factions III the
grange; but it was disposed of in
spirit Of compromise.
The lecturers report was taken up,
and Mr.. Reardon protested against the
statement in relation to Kansas. He
claimed that he could raise wheat
at a profit of 81 an acre if he
received 81 cents a bushel for his
wheat He stated that farming i'll
Kansas, paid; that Kansas farm
ers were prosperous. and tnat the fig
ures of the national lecturer were cal
cuated to do injury. DR.. Cleary said
that Kentuckey farmers were prosper
ing and that it was not always we'll to
cry about calamity. Mr.. Working, of
Nebraska, replied i'll support of the
lecturers report. Mr.. Mills, of Ohio,
deprecated the alleged misleading
words of the report and was followed
by Worthy Master Brigham i'll strong
arraignment of the lecturers position
as calculated to inJure rather than to
benefit agriculture. The hour of adj
iournment arrived before the master
had concluded. The grange will meet
again tomorrow. -
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
MR. MERRIAM'S MAGAZINE
ARTICLES.

The GLOBE is sorry to see that Gov.
MERRIAM has become firmly addicted
to the dangerous habit of writing for
the magazines. This is not because it
has any fault to find with the quality of
his work. 1t surely has at least the
merit of originality. Some enviouS en-
emies of his-for even the governor has
enemieS-have accused him of receiving
assistance from outside sources in the
preparation of his articles. But such a
charge meets with no credence among
the hundreds of thousands of eager
readers i'll all parts of the country who
wait anxiously for what he produces.
No one could read one of his articles
and still believe that anybody had
helped him with 1t. There is no doubt
but that what lie writes he writes him
self.
But what good does it do Mr.. MER-
RIAM, for example. to explain the recent
Republican defeat in print? In the
first place, he was not defeated. The
rOut of Nov. 8 was none of his funeral.
II was the funeral, if you will, of~BEN-
JANIIN HARRISON, of WHITELAw REID,
of WILLIAM MCKINLEY JR.. Of G. K.
DAVIS and of all other extremists of
their pattern. But genial. moderate,
popular statesmen like JAMES &.
BLAINE and WILLIAM r. MERRIAM
have not suffered by the disaster. Had
they constituted the Republican ticket,
as the GLOBE advised, the result might
have been different. Why not leave it
to the corpseS to write their own oblun-
aries? They have no other occupation
in the valley of the dry bones where
they sit apart.
In the second place, lyceum lecturing
and magazine writing do not become
statesman in the full tide of achieve
ment. They are the pastlmes of states
men out of job. And Mr.. MERRIAM
is not yet in this condition. He is too
young, too healthy, too buoyant, too
ambitious to sink into the role of sage.
Slippered meditation and philosophical
comments on other mems doingS will be
all we'll enough for him thirty or forty
years from now. But for the present
different duties demand his energies.
Minnesota must be repreSen ted in
Washington by man in sympathy
with the liberal and enlightened thought
of the hour. Mr. MERRIAM should re-
member these things, and not dissipate
his strength in the bootless field of
literature. Even for one like him con-
centration is essential to success.
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
Nearly All the Estimates Of
the Departments in Fos-
tep'S Hands.
Estimates So Far Compiled
Show an Increase of
$53,500,00O.
Interior Departments Esti-
mates Will Show a Large
Increase.
The Negotiations to Modify
the Samoa Treaty Draw
ing to a Close.

WASHINGTON. Nov. 22.-All the esti-
mates compiled by the several executive
departments, with the exception OF
those of the interior department. are
now in the hands of Secretary Foster,
of the treasury department. They are
being printed for submittal to congress
when it meets in December. The estl-
mates. as far as they have been COM
piled by treasury officials, show an in
crease of S53, 100000 over the estimates
for the same branches of the public
service for the last fiscal year, which
amounted to S40S.60S. 693.
The estimates for the departments of
Justice, agriculture aud labor and state
show slight increase, amountlngsln all
of them, when footed up. to not more
than 81, 100000.
The executive branch proper-the
White hOuse-is about the same as last
year, and the judiciary appropriations,
too, are but little increased. To carry
on the military and naval establish
ments more money, it is thought,
Will BE Needed.
anu. COtu tuCOC GnO w pe'i ~ W
ask an increase of about S4.OO0,000. The
establishment of many additional post
offices and the necessary establishment
of new offices have been a tax on the
receipts of the poStoffice department,
and the expenditures, it is estimated,
will exceed the receipts by S5,000,OOO, an
increase of expenditure over this year
estimate of nearly S3,O00,000. The treas
ury estimates<wil be advanced about
S., 100000 caused in large measure by
the erection of public buildings during
the past fiscal year, which Will nave 10
be furnished and supplied with janitors,
etc, and the increased pay given the
men employed i'll the life-saying sery-
ice, etc.
1t is in the interior department, how
ever, that the greatest increase IS
shown While the estimates from thls
department are not In hand, it is known
that fer pensions alone $1S5.00O,OOO VIII
be required, which is an increase or
more tnan 100000. The figures given
above are all rough estimates. Though
not official they are believed to be ap-
proxinatelv correct and are decidedly
Interesting.
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
THE PATH TO MATRIMONY.

LEWIS LAW was sentenced to five
years in the Sing Sing penitentiary the
other day for bigamy. 1t appeared
from the evidence produced against him
that he had married five women since
1890, and the court, with a pleasing
sense OF humor, gave him a year in
prison for each wife. Since his conVic-
ton, however, still another lady has
turned up to whom he was also united
in the holy bonds of wedlock within the
same time. All of his spOuses heard
from up to date live in New York. but
as he has himself been somewhat of a
cosmopolitan, it is very likely that there
are at least score besides yet undis-
covered, LAWS method of cOurtship
was always of the same pattern. He
had two children, whom he had COM
mitted to the custody of an Institution.
lie used to visit them at intervals. and
when he did he would Invariably make
1t point to form the acquaintance
of some woman who happened to be
there Cd similar errand. This acuuain-
tance he would follow up after an inter-
WI VI ~ N"S Ni'll q P1OJOolllOll vi IlldI-
riage, and his success is atteSted by the
extraordinary number of his wives.
The GLOBE notices all this for no other
reason than to show young men how
easy is the path which leads to the mar
riage altar and to warn them against
the dangers of the first step. The diff
culties of getting married are enorm-
Ously overestimated. LEWIS LAWS
case proves that the difficult thing for
man is to remain unmarried. 1t is only
due to the fair sex, however, to say that
all of his wives were already widows
when he approached them. and that
perhaps the attractions of welded bliss
are not so resistIess to women who have
never experienced them. But the
GLOBE gives the lesson for what it is
worth
St. Paul daily globe., 1892-11-23
LATEST FROM KANSAS.

1t is rare day when Kansas fails to
come forward with some new wrinkle
in politics. The latest is proposition
to divide the state into two states-East
Kansas and West Kansas. There is no
affinity of interests between the eastern
and tine western sections of the state, it
is argued, and therefore the sooner
they are separated the happier they
will be. Very probably; but how
about the rest OF the country?
1t is quite easy to comprehend
how one-half of Kansas has right to
be dissatisfied with the other half, but
it is similarly easy to understand that
the country at large will prefer one
Kansas to two of 'em. 1t is all right for
Kansas to tear around and ''play horse"
with itself, but when it proposes to
double UP Oh Uncle SAM that old gen.
tleman has right to get warm under
the collar. He has stood a good deal
from Kansas just because it was Kan
sas, but on this proposition the worm
must turn. One Kansas is enough.