Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-03-02

csiving boy. DO you suspect whsrs b
learned thsno thingsy
Let sas assure you that mare y imhabed
from nurses. their talk aud their a<-
tions. which children are soquiek 10 read.
than is generally suspected; aud ina
pressious. too. that no reasoning 1t after
ssars can entirely eradicate Therefore.
ssy. spare no money 70 Get the very
hast help-a mother herself, IL possible,
certainly woman Of intelligence. and
eoncieufious ia the performance Of her
responsible duty. Nor even then give
up your own place to her. b mother
ell day. enjoy the sweet life u your
baby. and be ready when your husband
comes homo 20 b. once more . wife.
Then you can lesvs the little one with
confidence. and be no les , companion
10 your husband than before.
In word, keep your motherhood and
your wifehocd in great measure sepa-
rata. Do not go to the extreme. even Of
this-bs very sure that papa Is acquaint-
ed with the baby and has . personal in
terest in him. bat does not tire Of him:
q mans endurance Of bother" is very
limited, DO not try it too much. When
nursery days are psssed land the period
of necessary babyhood IL really quite
short,, the child takes his place iH the
family. although of course during his
growing yesrs no should sleep away tho
long evening hours. Happy Is the child
who has no nurse; whose mother Is his
playfellow aud his caretaker, so well
provided with efficient help in every
other work that she can spend nearly all
his waking hours with him and leave to
hireling only the work for him.
An important point is to be sure of
establishing just the right relations be-
tween father and children. Never set
him up as the family bugaboo; never let
"lll tel papa" have tcrrors for the poor
little soul Neither pat him in the place
of lawgivsr: TO yourself the nursery
lawgiver. aad when nursery days are
past and tho child takes his place in the
family life. help him as early as possible
to be law unto himself.
The entrance o. tho baby into the fam
lily brings m added motive for self con-
troll. for in the way you treat your hus-
band you are training your child to do.
Very soon much before you suspect
that your young daughter observes any
thing-she lcari,s from seeing you how
to treat a husband. Docs she see him
"managedy No matter how adroitly 1t
is done: no matter how completely his
eyes may be blinded to the mean and des-
picable ways Of his wife. the baby girl
sees through it. She detects the I'M
worthy wiles. the small receptions, the
petty lies. which are the weapons of this
vice. Do you think you can bring her
up into ways OF honesty and fair dealing
while your example is all the other way:
Do not so fattcr yourself. BY your
deeds you are teaching your baby things
you would be Mortified to think Of.
Is your baby boy? In the same way
You teach him to be untruthful. dishon-
est, double faced and all the bad things
you would rather die than have him be.
Therefore, If not for your own self re-
|. spect. for tho sake Of your babies, never,
never descend to tho degradation of
managing" q husband. With your son
there may be still more disastrous results.
Ii he comes up knowing his mother to be
false, deceitfnl, his faith in womanhood
itself is undermined. You not only pre-
pare him to accept the common ISLANDERS
of tho cheap newspaper press, bnt you
take from him the only anchor that
could hold him against theu-a hearty
belief in his mother.
Again. say to you, o mother, re-
spect the individuality of your child.
He is yours, you say? In one way his
body may be yours, though only to a
certain extent even that; but his soul
his mind was never yours and never
will be. He is Is much an individual
as you are; he has just as much right to
his own opinions and tastes as You have
to yours Happy will be the day when
parents will get over the preposterous
notion that they own their children.
body and soul!
have already advised you to be the
| nursery lawgiver. but there 10 another
thing moro important still: Carry out
your own laws what few you need). even
| to administering the extreme penalty for
I! disobedience. Never turn your child
over to any one. especially to its father,
! to be punished. Thcss are several rea-
Sons aside from the one with which I
bcgan-namely. that whipping. even
striking q blow. is o brutal survival
from barbarous times. degrading to the
mother no less than TO the child. A
mother who cannot control her child
without blows should pat him, or more
properly herself. into a reformatory 1t
once: she is unfit to be a mother. Re-
member, Gm taking to intelligent
j women, not to the ignorant classes, who
know no other way to train the infant
mind.
A second bad result Of calling in pa
ternal aid is to make the child fear or
hate his father. A third is the almost
certainty Of having tho punishment too
severe. Tho delivering of poor little
terror stricken child into the grasp of q
grown man who feels Il his duty to hurt
the delicate. shrinking body to influence
tho mind is to me not only cruel but
wicked. 1t brutalixes both the actors in
the shameful scene, and should think
the sobs Of such an outraged child would
break the heart of any woman with a
mothers soui in her. Why. even the
beasts. whom we consider 20 much be-
meath us, are more tender Of their young
than that.
No, 1 sayl Young mother, take your
immovabIe stand there; that you only
ehall ever lay violent hands on your