River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-03-31
PITH AND POINT.

The uglier show manager is the
more he insists upon having his picture
printed on all the bills.-Atchison
Globe.
If men knew as much at 40 years of
I nge as they knew at 90, the re would be
more statesman in the country.-Texas
Siftings
We never realize the value of a
/ Jewel until we try to pawn ii. Come
10 think of it, we don't then.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
-Teacher-''Names some of the most
important things existing to-day that
were unknown one hundred years ago"
/ Tommy-"You and me-"
! -"Keene has come into fine thing
by the death of old Bilyups." I'm
deed. Is he one of the heirsP" mo,
( he is the executor y. Y. Press
oh" she exclaimed. 'how can you
drink beer? It's such bad form" Il
know it is. replied the reckless young
man. Its bad form, but good taste"
Washington Star.
-Judge-"If let you off this time
will You promise not TO come back
here again?" Prisoner-'Yes sir. The
I fact is | didn't come voluntarily this
time. boston Post.
Every body knows a woman is hard
TO please She likes the matrimonial
harness, but doesn't like TO be hitched
Up with a man who is strapped.
hamton Republican.
A Defense. WHATS the charge
against this man, officer?" "No visible
means of support" returned No. 5070.
81 can't afford to take me wife wild me
everywhere" growlcd the prisoner
Epoch.
Natures Methods
Natures financial methods err.
They're certainly blunder;
/ For when wo Ray our debts TO her.
She makes us all go under.
N. Y. Herald
/ "A Nevada hunter spent three
months looking for a grizzly bear and
/ the mans relatives have spent three
months looking for him. They think
he must have found the bear.-Texas
/ Siftings.
THAT'S peculiar name to give
race-horse, Cobblcr." mo, it's just
right. I've tried to get him into plsce
time and time again. but. confound him,
/ he always sticks to the lastr'-RideI
and Driver.
If there was some way of wrapping
up baby so that il would look like
I game bag or a gun, the women would
have no further trouble in getting their
husbands to carry babies on the streets.
-Atchison Globe.
] u =
/ that dog bit me" 'Oh, that's moth.
ing" ''But what if l should die OF
| hvdrophobia?' well, in that case
am willing to do the fair thing-rn
have the dog killed when you die"
The whistling plowman has always
been a favorite subject for pastoral
poets, but they have always been care
1 full to describe him at some other time
than just the moment after his pillow
has brought up suddenly against
rock. -Somerville Journal.
-Jessie-"Harry, do you regard mar.
riage as a failure? HarrY-''No; I'm
| told it is more like mutual benefit
association" Jessie-"That must be
nice" Harry-"Yes. it is; you put in
every dollar you earn, and never get
] nack q cent -oinlbns hEdy ~ 10
| Monthly.
! Mr. Robinson, who has tarried toe
long at wine supper, finds his wife in
| a high state of nervousness awaiting
his return. Mrs. R--"Iiere I've been
waiting and rocking in this chair until
nv head swims round like top" Mr..
R.-"Jess so where I've been-it's in
the atmosphere. Fun.
DIR. Smythe lat the literary recep>
tion)-"Who is that tall, specialized,
bald-headed gentleman yonder? Ihave
been discussing mining affairs with
him, and he agreed with me that Blow.
itoff's work on the subject was very
stupid affair" Thompson-'Tm sure
he ought to know. He's Blowitoff. -
Tit-Bits.
"A young man who had been seek.
/ ing employment from an editor, finally
obtained leave to write an article on
subject assigned by the editor. and to
bring it in person in week. The ar.
ticle was brought at the appointed
time The editor read it, and knit his
brows "You have some good thoughts
here" he said; but you write very
badly" "W-well. you see, SIR fall
tered the applicant. 81 was kind OF
scared. / never wrote in public be.