The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-02-19
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"Why don't you talk to young ladies
as though you regarded them as ra-
LiUnal creatures, instead OF treating
them as though they cared for nothing
but silly compliments or trivial per
sonaltles?" asked my dear old aunt as
1 stood near her at Mrs. Meanwells
tea, one afternoon last week. "Really,
- is an absolute insult to clever girls
intelligence TO prattle the sort of stuff
heard you pouring forth just now.
Why don't you converse about some-
thing? Why don't YOU
Yes, why?"
"Would you really like to know,
most sensible and benevolent of rela-
tiVes? You shall be enlightened, if
you will place yourself i'll such posi-
ton as to overhear the sweet voice of
yonder vision of tailoring made perfec-
zion seated near the window. BY the
way. will she dO?''
1.-THE bright looking girl in grey from
whom Mrs. Neanwell has just torn
young Fadly?"
you could make no better choice"
The change of base was speedily eff
fccted, and with aunLie seemingly en-
crossed in a fine collection of auto
graphs but a yard or two away. L
leaned more or less gracefully above
the trim form of my victim. A certain
unseeing expression i'll my aunt's eyes
told me That her mind was far less en-
gagged with the noted names before her
than with the result of my experiment
Yes, as you say we are enjoying a
season OF most charming weather.
And how much ones happiness or
miser, depends upon the state of the
atmospheric We seemed to be- cOerced
into a sympathy with NATURES moods,
| and are compelled to smile with her
| smiles and moan with her tears or
| gloom. L wonder If the true cause Of
the effect of the weather upon our
| spirits has ever been scientifically de-
| mOustrated."
"Oh, yes, [ feel perfectly wretched
when the weather is bad. oh, by the
| way, why were you not at Mrs Otways'
| last night? Such 4 lovely time! We
danced until daylight. Didn't i have Il
| headache this morning! Count Money
gone was there, and Teddy PinIeather,
| and oh! everybody. That hOrrid Mrs.
| Threstrike made herself painful in evil
| dence. Do you know, they say she is
going to marry again, and poor Old
| rhrestrike died so suddenly, III was
a man and married her, | should make
her taste everything | ate or drank be-
! fore | tried it,"
81 came across such an odd theory III
an English magazine this morning
| The author finds Il close connection be-
| tween sunspotS aud financial crises,
and traces direct correspondent be-
| tween the number of spots and the
number of failures in London, each
| receiving maximum every ten years,
| Really, when l looked up the statistics
of the two seemingly disconnected sub
jects found there were plenty of facts
| TO sustain the strange belief"
| "How funny. Excuse mo, but who is
| that tall, mIlitary-Iooking man with
the decoration i'll his buttou-hCle? |
am sure you can tell me, you know
| everybody"
"That is Col. Pompinickle, of the A us
trian legation. And speaking of Aus
| tria, it is said that thousands of persons
| in the southern districts will starvU
this winter because of the failure of the
rye crop. And yet all this dreadful suf-
| fering might be avoided If only the
| Australian government would -"
"Poor things, how can they eat such
| horrid, sour stuff. l should think they
| would rather get along on beef ana po-
tatOes and such things than to starve.
| Who is that horrid little dOwdy thing
| talking to Mrs. Meanwell?"
! That is Miss Skylark, who spent her
! life nursing the sick and wounded III
| military hospitals"
CHOW nice of her. Bat why does she
| wear her hair in that awfully uubecOnI-
| ing knob? Isn't it close i'll these
| roOmS!"
"Quite so. Have you heard that DR..
Mcdonald claims to have discovered
| the insanity micrObe and intends iuocu-
lating young ladies and gentlemen for
| imbecility?"
| ing? On, yes, something about animal
Gull. | saw some once in a drop OF
| water in a stereopticom entertaimment.
Horrid things. | refused to drink any
| thing but claret and sauterne for ever
| so long afterl Won't you be "A dear,
kind fellow and introduce the Colonel
to me? That awful DIR. Bigwitz is Dor
ing him dceadfully, feel certain, and
| he's been glanoing toward me ever
since you've been talking. | am sure
| he is just d wing to mako my acquain-
lance, and besides know that he is
suffering. DR.. Bigwitz nearly talk ed
me death once about science and things.
Will you? Oh, you are always so oblig-
ing"
'Well, auntie, do you know why
| now?" l whispered as l helped the
lear old lady into her coupe. There
was an expression of sympathy and
commiseration in her gray eyes which
was an ample reply.
"But tell me what did Miss NewdOl-
lar say to the Colonel when left them
| together?"
"You are not over-sensive?"
mot the least in the world"
| "Well, she breathed a deep sigh, a
| sigh of relief, and said, 'Oh, Colonel,
y0u have saved me from a dreadful
| fate. Do you know, that young man,
| whom have never injured, must have
sworn a dreadful oath 10 bore me into
an-nntimeiy graver'-George Kyle IN
| Kate Fields Washington.