The record-union., 1892-10-29
SOLONO LOVE TO LAUGH.
Harter's Illustration During His Sill
yer Speech.
Some Funny Incidents Which En-
1vened the First Session of the
Fifty-second Congress.

During session of Congress many
funny things happen; some Of them find
their way into the newspapers and others
are published for private circulation only
that is, they are circulated from hand to
mouth in the cloak-rooms and in corners
on the floor. The cloak-rooms of Con
gress are great places for gossip. Ac-
cording to a correspondent of the Utica
Observer they are worse than sewing
society or a Dorcas meeting. Men love
10 gossip. They may deny it as much as
they please, but it is nevertheless true.
The first session of the Fifty-second
Congress was not lacking in humorous
ncidents-incidents which happened on
the floor and in full view of the country,
so to speak, and which for the time made
even the wisest and most sedate laugh.
The world as whole loves to laugh, and
the tendency to cachinnation is by no
means lacking in Congress. \ man who
makes a speech which eXcites the risi-
bles OF his colleagues is always assured a
respectable audience, and if he starts out
10 be serious and unconsciously tickies
their fancy the applause is just as hearty
and sincere.
Private John Allen OF Mississippi is the
recognized humorlst Of the House. When
he gets up TO talk the members expect
something funny, and they are rarely dis
appointed. lie does not look like a man
who had very much humor in him; on
the contrary, his somewhat solemn face
and deliberate manner are more sugges-
tive of a man whose idea of humor is
found in the latest work on the tariff, or
who seeks his inspiration for light and
graceful things in a copy of the report of
the Secretary of the Treasury.
=
1t was during the Chilean excitement
that Mr.. Allen made the best humorous
speech OF the session. 1t viii be remem-
bered that President Harrison had sent
what was practically an ultimatum to the
pugnacious little Southern Republic, and
about the same time that the President $
ultimatum was received in Santiago Mr..
Blaine received a complete and full apol-
ogy from the Chilean Foreign Minister.
So when Mr.. Allen got up to make a
speech on our foreign relations the House
looked surprised, because it had never
Deen suspected that MIR. Allen knew
much about any part of the world except
that over which the stars and stripes
1iOat. He took his accustomed place at
The head of the center aisle, where he al
ways stands when he has a speech to
make, and the House waited in wonder
ment specializing as to what he would
have to say about the question in which
every one was vitality interested just
then.
His hearers were not long kept in sus-
pense. He opened the ball by moving
that the Committee on Foreign Atfuirs be
increased from thirteen members to sew
enty-fve, because, as he remarked, thir-
teen is an unlucky number, and he
thought there was too much work for
thirteen men to attend to. Then in his
own inimitable way he went on to show
now the members of the committee had to
sit up night after night pouring over maps
and biographies trying to find out where
certain unprOnounceable places were, and
how the rest of their lives were passed il
reading treaties and other things Of the
same kind.
Mr.. Allen is a Democrat, and in pleas
ant sort OF way be poked fun at the Presi-
dent. He said the President had been in
a great hurry to send an ultimatum to
Chile, although Chile had shown her
Willingness TO make the proper apologies,
and the Presidents haste reminded him
of an occurrence he witnessed on South
ern plantation. While a gang OF men
were at work a rainstorm came up, and
the overseer told them to make break
tor the barn to seek shelter. All the men
got there in good shape except one, who
was some distance away, and who ran at
such a terrific rate that when he got into
the barn he dropped to the floor in an ex-
hausted condition. The foreman aske
him why he ran so fast, and the man
said that he was afraid that unless he hur-
Iied the rain would be over before he
reached the barn. The story came very
pat, and even the Republicans were forced
to applaud and show their appreciation of
Mr.. Aliens humor.
GOLD AND SILVER WATCHES EXHIBITED.
During the great silver debate in The
House there was 4 funny incident. Rep
resentative Harter of Ohio, who took a
leading part in the fight against the pass
age Of the bill for the free coinage of sill
yer, was discussing the measure, and hap
pening to urge the advantages of the gold
standard, Bland of Missouri promptly
declared that, although Mr.. Harter was
such an advocate of gold, he would vent
ure to assert that Mr.. Harter did not have
a single piece OF gold in his pockets, nor
did he want any. As every one knows,
IT was Mr.. Bland who tried to secure the
passage Of the free coinage bill, and who
for years has labored in and out of Con-
gress in favor OF silver.
BANDS shot at Harter at once at
tracted the attention OF the House, as it
was perhaps the beginning OF little bat
tie of words, and if the House loves anv-
thing better than gossip it is to see two
well-matched men break a lance in the
oratorical arena. Mr.. Harter, however.
was not taken aback at all by the chal-
lenge. Politely bowling to Mr.. Bland he
some gold in his pocket, and that he al
ways carried it, ana then he put his hand
10 his vest and pulled out handsome
gold watch which he exhibited to the
House. He went on to say that he thought
it was very likely Mr.. Bland himself had
gold watch i'll his pocket as everyone
knew how much better a gold watch was
than a silver one, and people liked the
best they could get.
But Bland Is nothing if not consistent,
and his consistency even extends TO the
matter of his jewelry. He triumphantlv
pulled out OF his pocket a battered old sill
yer watch, and holding it aloft proclaimed
that silver was good enough for him.
There the two men stood holding up their
watches and each trying to prove that he
lad the better watch and the better of the
argument. But the tableau was broken
up by an irreverent Congressman calling
out: when did you get them out? Who
paid the tickets?' and the laughter which
drowned this sally brought the watch ep-
isOde 10 an end.
MKAIa SHAKEN BY THE COLLAR.
When the debate was about to close
Mr. Harter was only allowed ten or fif-
teen minutes in which 10 make his speech.
and as he had a good deal to say he an
nounced at the opening that he would de-
cline to be interrupted or answer any
questions. Then Mr.. Harter started in
talking about I15 words minute, and the
stenographers had to hustle 10 keep up
with the Ohio Congressman. After hav-
ing pointed out the tallacieS OF his oppo-
nents he drew a diretul picture OF the
country reduced to the verge of bank
ruptcy by the passage OF the bill, and how
every industry and every Iaborlng man
would be choked by the torrent OF silver
which was to flow from the mlnts, and
then, carried away by his own words, he
\ fs,N1 raf al,