davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31

of the question is less striking than the
standard of humor which it pretients. A
pig is humorous object, as everyone ad-
mits. The creased pig was subject of
uproarious fun back in the dark ages.
The deduction of the producer of comic
opera was very direct that a coruscation
of wit at once delicate and bril-
liant would consist in Juggling a pig
in a scene of comic opera; and it
was stralghtway done. While it might be
truthfully claimed that the pig surpassed
some of the actors in the realistic quail
ties of his representation, tlnd the de-
clamatory robustness of his tones, it must
also be said that the humor of his appear
ance is decidly antiquated.
But another feature of the, affair lies in
its demonstration of the power which
rea lily regulates our drama. The pig did
not see the fun of it; but his: protests were
unavailing. The law was invoked in his
behalf, but that only precipitated the
legal avowal on the other side that the
pigs unhappiness was as fictitious as the
despair of tragic actress. But when it
was discovered that some ef the audience
neither enjoyed the pore inc music nor
laughed at his realistic comedy change
came over the policy of operatic produc-
ton. Against the dicturn of the Preven-
ton of Cruelty to Soci ETY. the impress
sarios stuck to their pig; but when the
auditors declared their sympathy with its
mental anguish, the flowers of comic
opera retired the pig to the happy solitude
of private-if, indeed, f;he result of inter-
ference in his behalf has not been the
tragic one of converting an operate per-
former into pork chops and roasts, or the
more enduring form Of long clear middles
and sugar cured hams.
The moral of this Is that in our country
the censor of the drama occupies the
front of the house from the orchestra
chairs up to the gallery. If managers
stray into the regions of porcine comedy,
or even lower types of dramatic perform
ance, the people WHO can correct the evil
are the ones who pay at the box office.
The American thenter-goer would see in
this fact at once the dignity of his posi-
ton and the Importance of his response
bility
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31

the other third, would be worth s120, ,000,-
600 annually to the agricultural interests
OF. the Nation. In other words, If road
ways always passable could be secured by
expending S12O, ,0O0,O 900 each year, the ac-
count would be Just even. If it could be
done by 500, 100000 annual expenditure,
it would double the money on the item of
live stock alone. As S40,0OO,0OO year
would in a generation give this country
something like 800 900 miles of good roads,
over four miles of country road for every
mile of railway track at present, it is plain
that there is an immense public gain in
such policy.
OF course, there is no pretense that these
calculations are exact, but on the other
hand there is no doubt that the loss to
this country from bad roads over what it
would cost to make good ones, is to be
counted by the scores of millions an
nuallV
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
PERSEVERANCE OF SUPERSTITION.

The fact that within half days rail-
road ride of New. York City man was
murdered last week because he was
thought to be wizard, and his slayer con-
ceived himself to be bewitched by his
spells, causes some serious reflections as to
the exact advance of nineteenth century
civilization. If such thing had occurred
in savage country or even among the lit
tie more than half-civilized peasantry of
Eastern Europe it might seem credible.
But when il is located in the lea ding State
of the great republic of universal educa-
ton and popular enlightenment it creates
harassing doubts as to whether American
progress is doing its perfect work.
Yet when We examine the subject we
find ground for recognizing that this dis
play of besotted superstition was simply
the complete development of many things
which crop out in what claims to be intel
ligent and cultured society. Only last
week it was reported from the highest cir
cles of Washington society that thirteen
ladies refused to sit down to lunch
con until fourteenth was' discovered
to break the spell. The stage, that
traditional means of popular instruction,
abounds with superStitions of 'hoodoos"
and 'mascots;'' and practical politics
while largely superior to fine scruples, is
operated on superstitions about patronage
and money barrels not much less stupid
in proportion than that of the New York
farmer who killed liis bewitcher, and was
thereafter surprised to find that he was no
better.
The staying power of superstition Is a
puzzle, but it is a fact That it exists in this
country after nearly century of common
school education, shows that the warfare
instignOrance and semi-civilized stupid
ity must be kept up for another century
or two, before the period of millennial
intelligence can be hoped for,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
MRS. MURPHY's METHOD.

A vigorous woman, handy revolver
and surprised burglar combined to give
an object lesson on the burglary problem
in Omaha the other night. The result of
the chemical combination is of decided
public value, as it takes the form of the
precipitation of the burglar in leaving the
scene of action
When the burglarious gentleman with
velvet shod footsteps entered the Widow
Murphy's premises, through the window,
he found the lady of the house awake.
'rDon't move" he kindly admonished
her, ''and you won't be hurt" But the
subsequent proceedings showed that it
was not Mrs. Murphys safety for which
guarantee was required. That energetic
lady evidently has ideas Of her own as to
the time of moving, and she proceeded to
move when she saw fit Reaching under
the pillow for the convenient revolver, she
at once opened fire. At the first shot the
burglar exclaimed ''My God!' This may
have been caused by utter surprise at the
failure of the widow to take his advice
about keeping quiet; butas the lady kept up
the fire he did not stop to argue the ques-
ton but hastily decamped, to be discov-
cred later in the vicinity with one or two
prospects of pure lead in his internal
economy.
Mrs. Murphy has demonstrated the eff
fective manner of dealing with the bur-
glar question, and incidentally suggests
an enlargement of woman's sphere. The
two successful examples of dealing with
the house breaking interest have been pre-
sented by this lady and Swedish servant
girl who captured burglar in New Jersey
some weeks ago. If more women Of that
sort could be discovered it might prove
effective to recruit the police force of our
cities from them. Pending the raising of
such corps, we can only commend to
householders Mrs. Murphy's vigoro us
and effective method of suppressing the
burglar nuisance.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
A TACK In HIS HEEL.

WILLIAM RoCKEFELLER has found out that
tack in the boot may be more dang erous
than a crank on the sidewalk.-Nel0 York Re
cOrder.
MIR. ROCKEFELLER, we are glad to say, is
better. We hope he is wiser. Shoes that
cost the least money are not always the
cheapest.-NeW York Commercial AdUe1tiser.
THE many millionaire, Rockefeller, is suf-
fering from blood poisoning. How nice it
would be if he could pay Sl,0OO,0O0 and get
rid of it, but the whole pile could not
change the course of Indianapolis
NelOs
EVEN millionaires are made of common
clay. William Rockefeller, the richest man
in America, has felt the iron enter his sole,
and has blood poisoning from a wound
caused by nail in his shoe.-Oandha World
Herald
WILLIAM RoCKEFELLER's sore foot from
blood poisoning because his flesh was
pierced by shoe nail shows that million
aires are made of flesh and blood. 1t will be
a revelation to the anarchists -Bhnghdmpton
Republican.
A GREAT many people will sympathize
with Mr.. Rockefeller, who is suffering from
the effects of tight-ftting boot with a nail
in the sole. 1t was the late Josh Billings
who remarked that tight boots were a bless
ing because they made a wearer forget all
his other troubles.-Boston Herald.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31

versal industry Of the Chinese laundryman.
About IL o'clock there are but two classes OF
business awake-the saloons and the Chinese
laundries You can see this for miles. The
screens protect the interior of the saloons
from public view, and only occasional fleet
ing glimpses through the fan lights show
what is going on within; but the Chinese are
not ashamed of publicity. The entire front
of the laundry is invariably open, and the
Mongolians are seen starching and sprinlx-
ling and ironing, their dark plgtatls falling
and swaying over their white jumpers with
every motion, as II there were neither tlme 1i
staggers out of the neighboring saloon,
where he has been discussing the labor
problem during the evening, may seowl at
the "moon-eyed lepers," Dut the work goes
on just the same every night, and no walk
ing delegate intefferes against overtime.
The Climate of the Metropolis.
New York City has right to plume
herself on her admirable climate. While
the mercury has been rushing mp and down
from the high Northwestern plains of North
Dakota to New Orleans, this city has been
singularly free from extremes. Thus far it
has never been colder here during the win
ter than 15o above zero in the day time, and
beyond the disagreeable rawness OF a thaw-
ing atmosphere and the discomforts of the
usual winter rainfalls, we have been having
a right pleasant season. Sunshiny days have
kept equal pace with the winter clouds. The
tendency TO excessive moisture, or general
humidity" is about the worst thing that can
be said of this climate summer or winter.
The occasional extreme humidity of the at
mosphere in midsummer renders an oppres-
sive heat, and the same in winter gives us
rawness of cold not registered by the ther-
mometer. But the intense degrees of sum
mer heat and winter cold incidental to the
interior of the country are unknown in New
York. CHARLES THEODORE MURRAY.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
FIGURES ON THE ROAD QUESTION.

Now that we are in the middle of that
season when the country road alternates
from the condition of frozen roughness
and slipperiness to that of bottOmlesS i'm
FEASIBILITY, there is good deal of appro-
priateness in holding State Road Con-
vention as was done in New jersey last
week. New Jersey is not worse off than
other States in the matter of roads. In
deed, in one or two counties much more
has been done than in any other part of
the country toward building permanent
highways But the need for further i'm
provement and the vigorous agitation TO
that end are illustrated by the New Jersey
Convention.
A statistical fact cited in this discussion
is full of significance as showing the
economic value of road Improvement. The
amount of money invested in horses, mules
and oxen by the farmers of this country is
stated at $4,000, 100000. 1t is a demon
strated fact that during one-third of the
year the effectiveness of this vast invest
ment for ordinary motive power is prac-
tically wiped out, while the expense of
maintaining it continues. If a reform
should enable this vast interest to
be effectively used in transport
ing agricultural products and sup
plies, during the now idle season, the
increase TO the practical value OF this
single item of wealth would be over fifty
per cent So that, simply as regards the uses
of draught animals, we have an addition to
the economic wealth Of the country Ia be
secured by solid roadbeds, measured in
round figures at the sum of s., 600, 900, 600.
Take another way of figuring on the
same basis. The interest on the total
value of horses, mules and oxen must be
S120, 600, 600, while the earnings necessary
for their replacement every 10 years must
be as much more. If this $40, 900, 900 has
to be earned with them in two-thirds of
the year, an improvement of the roads
that would make their work effective in
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
PIrTsBuRG. SUNDAY. JANUARY 81.
PLEpGING THE CANDIDATES.

If the millage for city purposes be moi
cut down this year, it is very evident that
the burden of taxes must be greatly in.
creased by the increase of the valuations
of propertv-unless indeed the assessors
make a sweeping reduction when they
come to revise the figures so far given out.
The results of that revision cannot, how
ever be known for long while yet. Mean
time there is an election for Councilmen
soon to be heard-and meetings are going
on in different parts of the city strenuously
demanding that the expenses of city gov
eminent be kept down. The intimation
from the Chiefs of the Departments that
they want over half million dollars above
the very liberal appropriations of last
wear followed by the jump in valuation,
has reused earnest opposition.
As stated several months ago. when the
discussion of this years appropriations
began, THE DISPATCH emphatically
thinks it time that halt should be called
in the hitherto steady progression of city
expenses and of taxes. Parsimony has
never found favor in these columns;
neither has the idea that inefficient gov
eminent is cheap or desirable. But when
the percentage of expenditures is grow
ing out of proportion to the increase of
population-and when every increase of
expenditure seems only to stimulate fur
ther demands-it is well to revert to the
principles of strict business administration
which must not be wholly lost sight of
even in public affairs.
Last years appropriations were large
and liberal They covered complete and
satisfactory equipment and service from
the different departments; also large and
extraordinary outlayS for park purchases
and park improvements; likewise for the
replacing of woTn-out payementS by new
ones, and for the erection of station and
engne-houseS. The total outlay repre-
sented per capita expense in one form or
other for city service of about S20-that is
TO say of nearly S5,O0O,OOO for less than
25O, 600 population. This should be quite
enough. Ii the theory Of political ecOno-
mists is correct that in the end the burden
of taxes is shifted to the shoulders of the
wage-earner, who must bear it by reason
of being unable to shift it further-that is
10 say, taxes are added on to the rents and
TO the cost of living by those upon whom
they at first fall-the reflection arises that
the wOrkngmen of the city are vitality in
terested in demanding from sitting Coun-
cilmen and from candidates for Councils
pledges to keep within the limits of last
years appropriations.
If, however, the voters, who are also
the taxpayers fail to take enough interest
in the election to insist upon distinct
pledges from Councilmen and from candi-
dates for Council, they need not feel in
the least surprised if taxes go up. Until
those who foot the bill call halt there
will be no halt.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
THE PIG IN OPERA.

There are some singular manifestations
of social influences in the fuss that has
been raised in New York over the squeal-
ing of a pig. The pig was not the ordi-
nary one who laments his fate as he is
transported in double-decked suffocation
to the tragic terminus of the abattoir. He
was dramatic pig brought upon the stage
TO vary the more conventional strains of
comic opera, as well as to enliven the
scene; and his vociferation-not to say
dramatic elocution-aroused the sympa-
thies Of some of the auditors, and the legal
action of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals.
OF course the managers protested that
no pain was inflicted on the pig, and there
is no evidence of any torture beyond the
mental stress which any well-conducted
animal of porcine raspectability must feel
at being dragged against his will into the
dissipations of the stage. But that phase
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
POINTS THAT ARE PERSONAL.

THE Grand Duchess Sergius of Russia is
so strikinsly beautiful that she is known as
"The Crowned Ophelia.'
H. r. III. ALBERT EDWARD, it is inter-
esting to learn, wears an 1s18 collar. and has
a 45 chest, "a arm and a 421a waist
BARON ARTHUR ROTHSCHILD, a nephew
of the head of the great financial house, is
serving his II months in the French army as
a private soldier
CP. HUNTINGTON likes nothing better,
when feeling out of sorts, than to saw and
split few sticks of cord wood. Heused to
do it for his health.
IT is reported that George Hanlon, of the
famous Hanlon Brothers, is about to retire
from the spectacular arena and enter the
ministry. He is now in Philadelphia.
GOVERNOR FLOWER is quite as much of a
sportsman in his line as is ex-President
Cleveland. At trap shooting Mr.. Flower is
said to have made score of 90 out of pos
sible 100.
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE, the heroine
of the Crimean war. is so exhausted by an
attack of the grip that her condition is re-
ported as extremely critical. She is about 72
years old.
The title, sold man," with another 2d-
iective than grand" but none the less an
affectionate one, in front of it, was long ap-
piled by no less parsonage than Robert E.
Lee to General Jubal A. Early.
CARDINAL MANNING was, to use his
own phrase, "a formal sceptic'' about medi-
cal science and passionate foe of the
cruelty wrought in its name. He hated
ply sic, and, althouh he took great care of
his health, he guided himself by the light of
nature.
Mr.. AND MRS GLADSTONE and the
party accompanying them left Biarritz some
time ago, since when Mr.. and Mrs. Glad
stone and Mr.. Armistead have been travel
ing through the South of France. Mr.. John
Morley and Miss Gladstone returned to
England directly after leaving Biarritz.
COLONEL DANIEL LAMONT, who has
been ill for the past two weeks and unable
to attend to business, is contemplating a
trip South on which he may start next week.
His illness is not OF serious nature, but it
has been protracted. Yesterday he was
somewhat improved though still confined
to his residence.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
The Gridiron Clubs Dinner.

The seventh annual anniversary dinner
of the Gridiron Club, given tonight, in the
large ballroom of the Arlington Hotel,
eclipsed all its predecessors in the number
and distinction of invited guests, and also
in the elegance of the dinner and all its ap
pointments. Beside the President and Sec
retaries Foster, Noble, Rusk and Elkins and
Attorney General Miller, there were the
following guests: General Schofield Com
modore Schley Chauncey NJ. Depew, Sena-
tors Hawley, Henderson. Blackburn, Gibson,
of Maryland, Casey and Dubois; Representa-
tives Reed, Boutele, Springer, Harter, Cock
ran, Durborow, Weadock, Rayner, Allen,
George w. Boyd and r. A. Parke, of the
Pennsylvania Railroad; III. W. Fuller, of the
Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad: s. b. Hege,
of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad; General
Felix Agnus: H. b. Mooriead, of the Cincin-
natl Commercial Gazette, and Edward Bedloe,
Hugh Hastings and others.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31

The libel suit industry is proving un-
profitable in this neck of the woods, and it
is well it should be so; for though THE
DISPATCH is a party in interest it can say
with truth that no newspapers anywhere
are conducted with more regard for private
reputation than those of Pittsburg. When
ever injury is done to a citizen whether
influential or humble by inadvertence or
inaccuracy of reports, adequate correction
is made Immediately by any Pittsburg paper
upon notice. Such being the case, there is
no occasion for libel suits against the press
in this county. That courts and juries
understand this is pretty well indicated by
the fact that four libel suits unprovidently
brought against as many city papers have
pra ctically failed upon trial during the past
couple of weeks.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
ONLY A PIECE OF PAPER,
But 1t Contains the alleged Last VIII of a
Wealthy Widow.

Troy, n. Y, Jan. 9O-[Special 1-Hester
Way, childless widow, died in Spiegelton
a short distance north of Lansingburg, a few
months ago, leaving an estate valued at
about $4,000. By a will regularly drawn she
bequeathed the bulk of the estate to her
sister, Mrs. John Lee, of Lansingburg, and
$1,000 to Rufus Weatherwax, brother. The
instrument was dated in April, 1890 Its
probate was contested by the WeatherwaX
family, who offered second will bearing
the date of April l6 1891.
The second will was written on piece of
common brown paper. Laura Weatherwax
swore that she wrote it at the dictation of
Mrs. Way. By this second document the
Weatherwax family will inherit $40 600. This
afternoon Flora Williamson, "a young girl
who had served as domestic in the Way
household, testified that about month after
Mrs. Way died she saw Laura Weatherwax
writing on the piece of brown paper offered
as the last will, and that when Mrs. Weather.
wax noticed her presence she hid the paper
under the table cloth. 1t then contained
only few lines. Now the writing covers
the entire surface. The girl was submitted
to rigid cross-eNamination by ex-Speaker
Patterson, and did not falter in the least
William f. Hagen and DR.. r. III. Ward were
examined as experts. They declared that
the signatures of Hester Way ON the docu-
ments were written by the same person.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31

Two instances of the extension of
woman's field are recently cited pro and con.
Miss Mollie Whearty challenges public adj
miration as the first woman to invade the
field of Canadian refugees OF the boodler;
and it may be expected that in the fullness
of time she will return to the United States
in the full glory of respectability and wealth.
On the other hand, a woman reporter of Chi
cago has failed to come up to the possibilities
of her sphere. A young man tired of life,
wrote her a note giving her the material for
a scoop, by telling her that he was going to
take the morphine route to the next world.
She was so untrue to the reporrorial in
stinct that she flew to his relief, and by sum-
moning doctor with a stomach pump
spoiled the item. On this statement the ac-
counts very nearly balance.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-31
Proposed Patent Law Amendments.

Commissioner of Patents Smonds made
his annual report to Congress to-day. He
recommends several amendments to the
patent law. Among them the following are
of the most Importance: Providing that a
patent shall not expire with the expira tion
of a prior foreign patent; compelling appli-
cants to take action every six months and
no patent to live more than 90 years after
the date of the original applications; requir-
ing licenses to make or Use an invention to
be recorded: allowing aliens to file caveats;
relegating interference contests to the
courts; providing that no damages for in
fringement shall be recovered except such
as occur within six years next prior to
bringing suit; and allowing the registry of
trade marks which are used in commerce
between the States