West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-10-27
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OLD MAN B0WSER AGAIN.

noon, smiling and laughing and
waving his hand Mt young Bowser.
Five hours later he stalked stiflly up
the steps, stalked down the hall in
to the back parlor, and standing be-
fore Mrs. Bowser and pointing to
the left hand side of his collar he
sternly said
"Mrs. Bowser, look at that :"
cat what, dear ?' she qucricd.
Cant you see ? Couldn't a
blind man see it 40 rods away ?''
sis it your collar? You mean
it's frayed out little mite on the
fold ?"
"a little mite! Why the whole
thing is mass Of rags and tatters,
and I've bad to run the gauntlet of
a thousand people this afternoon.
lf there was ever n house run on u
worse system than this Ia like to
hear OF it ! No head-no tuil-no
body ! Plenty Of husbands in my
situation would commit some rash
act. There -
MIR. Bowser tore off the collar and
threw it on the floor and jumped on
1t, and then picked it up and dung
it out Of the window.
"You should be moro careful. &"
calmly observed Mrs. Bowscr, MS he
stood glaring ut her. "You have
at least two dozen -"
81 should be more careful What
have | got to do with it ?"
"You have at least two dozen
collars in your dresser. That was
probably the only frayed one in the
lot. You should examine collar
before putting it on. You rushed
up and put that collar on while ]
WAS still at luncheon, and | found
the one you took off lying in the
library.
"That'S it Try to wriggle out I!
! suppose you are not TO blame that
| haven't got but one solitary sus-
pender button left on these trou
sers, and that ! had to go into a
hardware store and buy horse nails
before | could get home Just
think Of it-hOrse nails, Mrs. Bow
ser, and here they are, three of f'emw
Eyes, see. Those buttons are
patent, and can only be put on by
a tailor. 4 month ago ! wrapped
that pair up and told you to leave
'em Mt the tAilor's. You went up
stairs and put them on and rushed
of, and ! never saw them"
"And this shirt-you are not to
blame for this shirt - he demand
ed, thinking it wise to let up on
horse nails.
whats the matter with your
shirt? This is the first complaint
have heard"
"Matter ?" Can't you see? It's
lopsided ! It's squccgawed! It's
turned top to bottom. and has been
trying to climb over my head all
'he afternoon ! If this house had
a head--if this house had head
Mrs. Bowser, my shirts"
"Let me see what's wrong" she
interrupted as she rose up and
turned down the collar Of his coat.
"No wonder you feel nervous You
have buttoned the top button into
the lower buttonhole It's funny
you couldn't tell what was wrong.
That's you all over"
"Mrs. Bowscr, who buttoned that
shirt that way 20 hc hoarscly whis-
pered.
"You did, Of course. didn't
even know when you changed"
"And perhaps ] cut that hole in
pocket ?" he sarcastIcally qucriod
as he turned one Of his coat pockets
wrong side out.
"That - no cut, Mr.. Bowscr.
The hole has been worn there by
something in Jour pocket. Take
your coat of and I'll mend 1t in a
minute"
"And look at this hat 90 he wont
on as no brought it from The hall
tree-'just look at it'll Isn't that
an evidence that this house is run
on about the game system as a wind
mill?"
81 see. The sweat band IS miss.
ing. ] found IT IN the hind pocket
Of pair Of your trousers the other
day. You should have stopped at
the tailor's. There is also a dent