Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-07-09
YARNS OF THE LADS.
0ne OF the Firemen Gives Due Credit
to an Inventive Crank.
a CURE FOR TOO MUCH RELIGION
BOw the Columbia Boys Put Candidate
Through Initiation.
ROUGH EXERCISE FOR HOT WEATHER
A CURE FOR TOO MUCH RELIGION
ROUGH EXERCISE FOR HOT WEATHER
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.I


floor of Engine House No II.
"William Borrett was the crank's name
and he was a member of this company.
Billy was q crank, sure enough, but crank
in the same sense that Benjamin Franklin,
Eli Whitney or Samuel Morse were cranks
he was an inventive genius, but like many
others he never reaped the glory of his
labors Somebody else got the prize.
"Hoseman William Borrett was the first
man to conceive the idea of stringing har.
ness over pole as a time-saving arrange
ment in a fire engine house. He pro
cured an old set of harness, ball of twine
and some nails and for many days worked
silently away without revealing his plan to
anybody. He experienced all of the sue
cesses and discouragements of young inven-
tors and soon became an object of Jest to the
other members of the company. But Billy
stood it all bravely and did not divulge his
secret.
Rumors About His Head.
Gas usual in such cases, it became noised
about that Borrett was suffering from brain
trouble and expressions of deep regret were
made by the fremen over their comrade' s
atiiction. Late one night after the
crank had tossed restlessly about on his
bed Tor several hours, be suddenly leaped
out Of bed and yelling: I've got it, I've got
IL. rushed for the pole. The whole COM
pany started in pursuit. some with ropes,
others with blankets, 10 catch the man whom
they We're now thoroughly convinced was
a subject for mad-house. The fleeing man
was intercepted and before he had chance
to say a word was bound hand and foot
The unfortunate inventor realizing the
ludicrous nature of his situation was con-
vulsed with laughter. This only made
matters worse, for besides being mad man
he was also an idiot, thought his guards
HBillv begged to be released, but not until
a physician was called was he listened to-
He then explained his plan to his associates
who one by one skunk off to bed leaving the
genius alone with his ideas The scheme
was successful, but another man perfected
II and the true inventor, the crank of No.
II, never obtained either credit or money
for his labors.' -
Just suited to the Salvation Army.
'We once had an over-religious member
in this company" began the champion story
teller OF Engine Company No. 10, Pittsburg,
the other evening in reply to request for
an engine house story, 'but he did not re-
main long. He was too good for fireman
or, indeed anv other vocation in this life
We E'A AlAAs ANl4S lOuS d
transfer ana l will never forget him. He
had not been in the engine house
i've minutes until he began singing,
PRAYING and reciting verses of Scripture
At first we allowed him to go ahead and
enjoy himself, since such conduct in an
engine house was something new. But
whr2 our Jealous Christian brother began
to whoop ans crow around all night and
neglect his duties in order to attend to his
ID - IL
thing wore off
1T was no use to talk to him about the
matter He would not listen, but would
immediately begin a sermon upon the
heathen,- blindness of his worldly COM
raGes, winding up with an ex-
h3rtation TO those individuals to for
sake their ways and follow him.
Finally The new member made his presence
so offensive that one day, during his
called to concoct cure. We were afraid
lie would become violent if unrestrained.
Preaching Through a Section of Hose.
''Weu, the meeting proved a success.
That night section OF hose was laid from
the engine room in through our friends
bed room and one end was snugly secreted
under his pillow. When the religious
fireman returned home he was in very low
spirits, owing to the contemplation of his
sinful career and was inclined to be sulky.
Finally he retired for the night, turning |
the lights out as usual He had been in |
bed perhaps an hour, when from under the |
troubled sleeper's head there issued horri- !
bic groan. Then came another and another, |
the latter mutfied moan. In less than two |
zeconds the fanatic was doubled UP like a |
asent corkscrew and was filed with holy |
rror.
NIhe Joker of tine company, who had his |
nth at the other end of the hose. then |
an to humble some of the passages he |
, picked up from his religious brother
though much modified and fearfully mutt |
lated
"'Prerare to meet thy fate,' thundered a |
voice deep, and awful The victim writhed |
and shivered as he heard the words and |
knew not what to do.
F" 4 am the evil one,' continued the voice. |
and / say unto thee, repent thee, and get |
dice out OF this company double quick or |
he fires Of damnation will encompass thee |
0uuda5out'
THAT " as enough. The terror-stricken |
ictim jumped out of bed, seized his clothes |
nd boiling down the stairs, darted out of |
re engine house door into the night and
as gone. He never came back
An Initiation IN No. 6.
s'NThen the old cat is away, the mice will |
ay." Thus began Patsy Conway, one of |
Columbia firemen, the other evening, in
way OF proverbial preface to the en-
Ie house yarn he was about to spin.
Just yesterday the truth of this trite old |
ing was demonstrated right here
this engine house. Captain Noble
res had gone up street for a few
ments, leaving the rest of us
ing here in front of the engine house
ngto keep cool The Captain had bare
disappeared around the corner when
foreign-looking individual came stalk
wn street One of the boys remarked
ne was ''queer-looking duck" and
,red if we could not have some fun
him. The foreign individual soon
near MS and we were Just in the act of
cting his attention when he wheeled
(, gave us military salute, and ap-
hing handed one of the boys note.
note was headed Engine House No. 2,
cad thus:
;iue Company No. 6:
will Introduce you to General Herr
icS Won Schlagen, who is in search of
Initiate him into the mysteries of
and then send him on to No. T. You
nd the general one of the pluckiest
tdates YOU ever saw. No has Just fin
If.r the boys are nearly dead over their
arrions, Herr Heinrich, you will OBJ |
THE No BOYS.
Well, we took in the situation at
nee. There was a circus on hand. We
arose and, with the gravity of band of
cons, motioned for the candidate to fol-
rs back into the engine house. He
-ed orders without word.