Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1892-09-03
WOR DS.


Orator-And now, my friends, one word
| more. Reporter Ito boy)-Bring me lot
more paper, quick.-Boston Bulletin.
The man whose gate is off the hinges
can talk by the hour explaining why some
body else doesn't prosper.-Rarn's Horn.
In one respect the north pole is like q
woman's pocket. Very likely it is there,
but no man could ever find it.-Inland
| Printer.
She-Love in cottage is sweet, no
doubt, but how long could two live on
love- He-Oh, as long as it lasted, sup
pose.-Irdianapoli Journal.
'Tis now the fields and meadows sweet
Are filled with city charmers,
Who watch the farmers shock the wheat,
The while they shock the farmers.
Indianapolis Journal.
A Walnut street medical man says that
the breast of a broiled partridge and pint
of champagne will remove the unpleasant
taste of any disagreeable medicine.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Sallie Green-Belle Brown doesn't ad-
mire herself before the mirror as often as
she used to. Mamie Thorn-I guess her
new eyeglasses have greatly improved her
sight.-Jewellers' Weekly.
81 can take a hundred words a minute" :"
said the stenographer. 81 often take more
than that" remarked the other in SORROW
full accents; "but then 1 have to. Pm
married. boston Transcripts.
Mrs. Yeast-Is your husband an early
risera Mrs. Crimson5eak-An early risera
Well, should say SO! Why, my hus-
bands got four grown daughters and only
one pair of suspenders!-Yonkers States
| man.
The Rev. DR.. Primrose (who has remain
ed to luncheon)-"Why won't you take
any cold tea, my boy?' Little Johnnie
"Cause dad drank some of it out fishing
yesterday and it knocked him silly
New York Sun.
Mamma-Now be a good boy Frank and
I'll take you out as soon as the rain stops.
Frsnk-Pd rather be bad for awhile.
Mamma (astonished)-Why2 Frank
Cause 1 don't think the rain is going to
stop to-day.-Harper's Young People.
Cashier can't honor that check,
madam; your husbands account is over
drawn. Woman-Huh! Overdrawn, is
it9 l suspected something was wrong
when he signed this check without waiting
for me to get the Mysteries York
Weekly.
Orator-We could adduce a hundred il
lustrations to prove the advantages of
shorthand, and the saving of time thereby
effected. Only think, gentlemen, it took
Goethe forty years to write his Faust;
how many years he might have saved if he
had known Observation-Disclosures
The Better Artist.-Mrs. Van Neering
(who doesn't like her portrait, and is ind-
ing as much fault with it as is possible
And the color in the cheeks does not suit
me at all. D'Auber Gn disgust)-Tske the
brush, madam, and fix it to suit yourself.
You have, undoubtedly, had more expert.
ence in that branch of painting than ]
have.-Puck.
Clsra-When George aud 1 are married
Pm to have my own way in everything.
Dora-Guess you won't Clara-Indeed
will. That's the bargain. Don't you re.
member I told you he proposed to me in g
rowboat, and aeked if I'd float through life
with him just that waya eyes" "Well,
he was rowing and was steering. New
York Weekly.
The lady of the house had given the
tramp very fair dinner at the kitchen
table, and she left him to enjoy it alone
When she thought it was time for him tc
60 she returned. He was just rising from
his repast. "Well," she inquired, "whst
do you think of your dinner?" "Madam,
he replied with courtly bow and a wave
of his hand over the empty dishes, "it'l
out of sight" Then he bade her good
morning and departed. Fret
| Press