Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-05-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Out on lark-Feathers.
ssHas a settled look"-A receipted
bill.
A counter-irritant-The vinegarish
saleslady.
Makes little things count-The teacher
of the smallest class in arithmetic.
It is sometimes hard to tell where
business sagacity leaves off and down.
right rascality begins.--Texas siftings.
The mother hunts for bargains,
And the father handles stocks, =:
But the babies in the cradle r
Are the ones that get the rocks" y
A woman is never so likely to be mis-
caken at any other time as she is when
she is "perfectly sure. ."-Somervliie
Journal.
There are twin brothers in Brixton so
much alike that they frequently borrow
money of each other without knowing 1t.
It'd Bits.
Gummey-"Now that is what I call
taking picture" Glanders --"Yes; it's
painting of piclkpocl1et a. work. DE
troit Free Press.
He (at the dinner table to young wife)
-"My dear wifey, Ibegin to think that
there are few misprints in your cookery
book. LA Tribuna.
Lady Ito her legal friend) --"You
won't charge for question, L hopef.
Lawyer--"Oh, no; only for the answer"
-Fliegende Blaetter.
az wouldn't marry the best man In
CREATION said Estele. "That lets me
out" said Chappie. "Farewcll forever"
New York Herald.
"Manilly is the toughest paper known,
believe" said Wickwire, incidentally.
"Say," queried Nudge, "whero can l
get a pyl"-Indianapolis Journal.
Ike, e,Jr.-"Whas are you smiling about,
mother2" Mrs. Partington's Niece -
"I'm reading funny story and have just
got to the smilax. Buffalo Express.
Sweet must go; tits late," said he:
She did not moan or shlver,
But looking at him smilingly.
Said: Better late than never"
Chicago Sun.
Teacher -"How many scruples are
there in dram2" Dick HicSs-"Sup-
posed to be three, but most druggists
sell 'em without any" New York Her
aid.
"Tm so sorry" said Mrs. Parvenu,
bidding good night to her guests after
the reception, ssthat the storm kept all
our best people awayl'-Boston Her
aid.
visitor--"Do life prisoners survive
very longa" Keeper-"Only those whose
sentences were committed because they
had but short time to live. New York
Sun.
"Papa, what is patrimony9" at Is
sShat is inherited from father, my dear. "
ooh; and then is matrimony something
inherited from the mother2" 2"-Brooklyn
Life.
Jack-"She is NOT generally considered
A belle, and yet have seen her look kill
ing Charlie--'Indeei When was
| that." Jack--"At ball once when
trod upon her train. Kate Fields
| Washington.
Editor (of monthly magazine, after
reading the manuscripO--"Your poem,
sir, has great literary merit" uthor
of Poem dn voice of agony y" Then
If course you can't use itl"-Ch icagc
Tribune.
How we do laugh over the pictures
we had taken when we were young By
the way, wonder what we would have
thought in carly life could We have seen
the photographs we have had taken since
we reached middle lifel-Boston Tran
script.
A teacher of natural philosophy once
asked the bright boz Of the class how
many kinds of force there were, aud wa'
astouished 10 receive the following re
My; "rhree, ma'am. Meatal force,
physical force aud police force. "-Phar'
macer,iaal Era.
"What book is that ycu are readingf
asked Mrs. Snaggs of her husband. "lt's
book on tree culture, my dear" "You
don't want 20 know anything on that
subject, DO yout" "Yes want TO learu
how TO raise an ambush. -. pitlsburg
Chronicle. le.Telegraph.
The Bank Clerk sits \ shame, the
way some men rob their employers by
loading when lhey'l9 paid % work,
There's a brlcklayer an that new build
Ing across the street who hasn't dnas q
stroke foF an hous..-I kn0g II because
I've done nothing but watch him. -
/ Eata Rtafits Nnshtnafau