Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-12-16
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HUMOR OF THE DAY

HUMOR OF THE DAY
A soft answer via XIII whefe a club
would faiI.ARam's Horn. e,st
l., There are men who, tire themselves al
most to death looking o for an easy Easy place.
RAMS Horn.
It isn't the 'sdighty" poet Who il re-
sponsible for 'aif the 3itive verses. -
Boston Courier. - -..,E.-.. ~
:, The humorists of. thislcosutry seem to
have made butt Of the goat.MI,!r:ihila- .I,!:i
delphia Record. 5
- Brooom-ifSo you are on your welding
tour, eh7" Groom (sadlyp--s'No-h-a q Ice
ture; tour!p--Truth. 4.~... s; ,...r.
:, In his. moments of abstraction even
the pickpocket thinks time is money
Phifadelphia Times. So = 's''"'"1
the trouble IS that you never know
when you've got enough. until you've
got much.1Puck., e,s, ,-.-,.
People who are always, looking, for
trouble generally run when it looks for
them! Milwaukee Journal hc2
b A man who lives fast cannot expect
that enjoyment will. keep up with bin.
Bling nghamton Republican, >. 49,.
Coasting is very excellent sport, but,
like some = other dmlins,emreats, nus, it has its
+. drawbacks. .LSomertille tFourtIaks9 =.
rs GayLs4The Widow Weed wears tycry
/, heavy morrning4an Dayz+ iYes ;..bW she
doesn't fesl as b!aikf. as she is dressed"
Puck.
xii sorts Of 4vsexatioHs Tattend't 'thspar-
lor matrimonial match. Eves' tlie.'hmp
us frequently putroutoverrit.- bingham
ton Leader. t...,
There are some men who cant take
home beerstcak without believing shey
/ are taking their wife "a presents---At-
Gibson Globe ;.-,- .a.it,- -poi..,- .,-I
More people with patent. leather shoes
on borrow money they never pay back
than men who wear shoes thar, arc
patched. Globe. 'l--,ie'r
Il The next thing al long suffering. public
learns will be the fact that gas. cQppan-
les aie putting pneumatic tires or their
gas meters. s.-Ohio State Journal. -
iga Man goes to law to- get his rfght,rf
..(Os Common sense pereftj,
Ignoring that in such fight,
|. . ia AL others. have got left i.,s-a
Boston Transcript.
"What coat of arms is that on the
panel Of your carriagef' = "Give lit up.
Had to haye it stuck on before, we could
engage footmaan, New 4forik 4fo'liki Her
aid.
Men are good deal Better cdllec.
fively than they e-indiRItla tlaally y. MANY
man will do that privately (which he
will depounce IN crowd. ---Atciison
Globe. 'i
AS rule, a man who has 4 innsthche
he can twist, or 'whslSersi he, eanlstroke,
is three times, as lona making, UP his
mind as one. who hasn't. --Atchison
Globe.
Appearances Not Deceptive. 'T'rlscil.
la-=t,When Charlie proposed tome the
poor, fellow did look SO silly eRFun-
ella--.sWell, no wonder. New York
Herald.
There plenty &: r ,om at The top,'bu
YOU shouldn't tell an, ambitious artist so
Just as ha,is. on the point of .sepdins his
picture to ,he exhibition. -SQggmseirville ggneis
Journal.
+ Mr.. Newton the stage they always
have such dolt, woodeny actors. ''toe rep
resent dukes and kings" Mr, Know
''Yes; that's so to have them true to
life. .''-Puck.
Boggs--"HeEo there, Joggs, what
20 do NIT f1ot Eorr of
powders'' JoggsA'.I am going to try
to blow, myself, away from o, porous
plaster that is, on my back. ."--.H!aFy.ard
Lampoon.
Admiriinig Neighbor-h you think
the pretty pet is going to be..like his
father.n. Fond Mother-+s.L shouldn't
be at all surprised He keeps pe: up
every night, as it is, and is fractions in
the morning" !" 80 80 - - -
!, Mr.. Bronson-"Did YOU have an in
.teresting subject presented for your con
sideration this morning at church. Mr..
Bronson--.tVery. But I couldn't make
out whether the lace trimmings Mere
real or, imitation.n i, -. I':.- ~e,s..:,
. New York Drummer--t'How~d do. you
account for the gradual decrease in time
between New York aud Chicagosr Chi
caga Drummer efisdainfhliy) = 'schi-
.cago, sir, is rapidly growing iu an eAst-
erly direction. Jewellers Weekly,
Professor Ito class in surgery 1.-THE
right leg of the patient, as you see, is
shorter than the left, in consequence Of
which he limps. Now, what would you
do in case of this kind?' Bright
Student Limp, too.''-Chicago News
Record. ,e~s-' -sr-~ ie'5~f
Charles James Fox, when canvassing
Westminster, applied TO a shopkeeper
for his vote and .interest.S 4are man
produced a halter, vita which, ha said,
he was ready to oblige him. s.Thauk
you," replied Fox, ''fof your kind offer,
but shouldrbe sorry to deprive your of
SO valuable family relic. o---ArgonaAt.
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