Middletown transcript., 1892-01-07
SMILES.

The thinner thing is the more il
is inclined to spread itself.-Oil City
Blizzard.
When a girl marries a man to re-
form him the devil doesn't worry
Elmira Gazette.
No man can cultivate an optimistic
mind on pessimistic stomach. =
Washington Star.
The troubles that troubles u, the
most are the troubles that never hap
pen.-Ram's Horn.
The grocer who gives, sixteen
ounces to the pound Is model II his
weigh Chicago Times.
Good looks go long way but
finally the paint wears off and there
you are.-Galveston News
Smile at some women and they will
tell you all the troubles il,. Y YER had
-Atchison Globe.
No matter how small Ire scandal
there's always EN- lagh t. - ar,l ,d. =
Elmirra Gazette.
Absence makes the heait grow
fonder, but presence causes it, 10 glow
like full moon.-Texas Siflings.
At this season of the year we be-
Iieve it is commendable for woman
to mince matters.-Yonker's Statesmen
It is we'll for the small man to prac-
tice until he knows how to apologies
gracefully.-Somerville Journal
Some Of those born great appear to
be trying very earnestly nowadays to
live il down Indianapolis Journal.
Praying to the congregation may
sound very nice, but it never attracts
any attention. Rams Horn.
Only three rich men are referred to
as such in the New Testament, and
two Of them were lost.-Ram's Horn,
Put a handle to a mans name even
if he Is crank. A crank without a
handle is of little use. se.-Boston Tran
script.
A humorous fact about Hoods Sar-
saparilla-it expels bad humor and
creates good humor. Be sure to get
Hoods.
There's nothing in size-when a
pint bottle can exert more influence
over some men than church.-Col-
umbus Post.
Toward twilight you want to keep
your cwn counsel. since it is about
then that you may expect the eye's-
dropping.-Boston Courier.
A lady who has suffered for over
three months extreme torture from a
violent cough has become completely
cured by DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
Friend: What became of that
young man you were engaged to last
summer? Miss Catchem (innocent-
ly): Which one New York
Weekly.
The Gar is learning to ride a bicy-
Gle, and the Nihilists are waiting
only waiting-till he coasts against a
small boulder. Minneapolis Tribune.
It is difficult for the average man
to hear said that man was made in
Gods own image without feeling thst
he is the man referred to Boston
Transcript.
He: If anything will make wise
man of fool, silence will do it. She:
That's what I've been thinking for the
last three hours.-Detroit Free Press.
The picture of Secretary of War
Steve Elkins that is going the rounds
of the papers is grim-visaged war
itself. On to Chill Springfield
MO Democrat.
Constipation, and all troubles with
the digestive organs and the lieer,
are cured by Hoods Pills. Unequal-
led as a dinner pill.
What was the most striking thing
you ever saw" asked Brixon. After
some thought Braxen replied with
sincerity. A prize fight. -
Washington Star.
Cholly somewhat wearily): Hell
10, ole chappiel Merry Christmas !
Fweddy (with a dismal yawn):
Thanks, deah boy. Doosid boah,
isn't it ?-Chicago Tribune.
A Baltimore society girl who went
into a convent has renounced her
vows and married. The bridal veil
found more favor in her eyes than the
nuns veil.-Boston News.
Eve ate the apple, we are told
Her trespass we deplore;
For she enjoyed the mellow fruit,
Her offspring get the core.-Puek.
Prof Greatmind: Have you ev er
reflected on the mysterious wonders of
Sweet Girl: Indeed |
have, and / don't know yet why my
bangs come out Of curl during a thun-
lerstorm.-Good News.
Devout and most, consiaerate
He supplicatiOn tenders
For that sad youth who trusts his fate
To Christmas gilt suspenders.
Washington Star.
One Of the easiest things to catch,
and at the same time one of the most
difficult to get rid Of. is a. cough or
cold. DR.. Bull 5 Cough Syrup, how
aver, always proves equal to the
Mrs. Backup: Before we were
married you callei me your black
eyed houri.D Backup: Yes, and
ny little blue-eyed, freckled, red
haired darling didn't murmur a pro-
For Over Fifty years
Mrs. WINsL ow'sSooTHINa SYRUP has
osen used by millions of mothers for
heir childre while ieething. If dis
urbed at night and broken of your rest
BY sick child suffering and crying with
pain of Cutting Teeth send at once and
ret bottle of s'Airs. Winsfo lows Soothing
syrup" for Children Teething. 1t will
relieve the poor little sufferer Immediate
y. Depend upon it, mothers, there is no
mistake about it. 1t cures Dirarhae, reg
llatesz the stomach and Bowels, cures
Wind Collie, softens the Gums, reduces
Inflammation, and gives tone and energy
o the whole system. ttMrs. Winsluw's
Soothing Syrup" for children Ieetting is