Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1892-12-15

now like da bada mule, but VINO new
hova ia courage to saya da one word
against da poora richa man "nen ni"i
able to kicka back.
Was he one r-r-ricna man'
Shura, Mike. Lo
Rut who mada him r-r-richa9
Did da kickers, da preachers. ia ug-
aly newsepaps whicha have stlletlos IN
eachs paragraph?
Da monk tinka not-mea tool ALA
da same Gould raked in da gold-da
whole gr-reata bigga world was da field
and da brain In da roofa garden OF him
body was da-r-r-rake, and him used 1t
well.
Please showa me da man who woulda
not like to stand in da deada mans
shoes and I'll showa you one fool.
Da monk would like to stand in Jaya
Gould's shoes him whola life and take
ALA da 'buse anda blame anda mud da
wickeda world coulda fling-mea, too!
So would dS Doctor LYma' Ab'-so
would da PostG and da whole gang.
1t ver-r' kind Of da preacher man to
say: 81 standa not here to judge Jaya
Gould. l leava dat to him Maker"
Data MAKER" musta feel mucha
'blige to da preacher man
fora da chance-Him hava so fewa
chances to judge nowadays dat Him
musta be da Int bit rusty, and mayabe
Him letta Jay sllppa in.
Da monk hope so-mea, too-be-
cause somaday. when da monk kicka
da bucket, dey may have one elevate
r-r-railaroad ina da skies, where da
poora man can r-ride for ds FIVE cent
nick, but where da preacha man canta
drive him carriage.
Dat preacher say, cit no evidence OF
ability to maka da seventa-fve million
dollars" If IL not 'bility dan the monk
donta want ability-mea, too. Da
preacher say, "Goulda made 1t, but him
made it outa da shifalessness anda fol-
lies ola Others"
Da monk would lika to know who
does not maka ia mon outa da iollies
ola others. Folly? Bya golly! It's da
gr-r-reatest tree ina da world TO knock
gold dollars from, but you gotta have
one bigga, long pole OF brains and one
steady nerve to hitta da fruit, youa bet
Follles? :
Gr-reats Scott! Where do mosta da
contribution boxes grow? Where grow
da bada patent medicines? da cheapa
novels? I'd soIOlerS? da gunsT ia Iahe
newspapers? da cigars? da rum? da
bum theatres? da foura hundred? da
politicala r-r-rings and da thousands
more usaless things?
say on da folly tree!
And da monk answer. "Shura,
Mike"
And who woulda not knocka down
deesa r-r-reda r-r-ripe banans from da
folly tree?
Would da preacha man? Him would
II him could.
Would Jaya Gould? Him would an
him could an him did, an da sucker-r-rs
who got da vera few grewa jealous,
grewa mad anda-kicked. Dey kickin'
yet, and dey maka da monk sick-mea
too!
Showa me da pr-r-reacher or CO law
yer or da business man, or da org grind
er, or da an'bod' else who would notta
go to Chicag' or Squeeadunk for da few
more thousands bones year.
Anda yet dey are ALA gooda peop'-
all better now dan Jay-but dey letta
da letter slippa in to da god dey adore
and make him not god but gold.
Gould tried to get da gold an him
got it.
Da kickers tried to get Gould and
gotta left.
lat yubva dow LfoL
Dey say da Mista Gould had no char
ityl
Charity.-charity! Have dey de
charity? Does charity scratcha da
eyes outa da dead?
Who knows how mucha charity da
Mist Gould had?
Him follow da Bible-him new let him
righta ear hear what him lefta ear hear
new letta him lefta hand know what
da r-righta hand do. Him YER much
lika da gr-r-reata presedenta, da u. s.
Grant-him letta da world blab, but
keepa him own mouth shut. Dat maka
da world mad.
Da world is one olds woman-you
talka back to her an she linda out youra
weaka spots, but II you shutta up tight
llka da clan she new knowsa where you
are at an dat maka her wild.
n Jaya hada stood on him mountain
ola gold and said To da world, "Here,
taxa dis and builda one hospital
taxa dis and buIlda one church
and have da newspapers teIla da
universe Data Gould is one
gooda man." da peachers wouIda give
him one free pass TO da G0ldena Cit
and be would now be in oae prIvata box
up close TO da throne am him wings
would be da bi1gesta, vhitest, softest
in da heavens. Buta now dey say him
notta In IT, justa becauselhim shutta up
tight 'bouta him charities.
Jay was da Solomon off da nineteenth
censh'. Him r-r-rich anc wise, and da
monk is go'n' be as mitch lika Jay as
him can-mea too!
II da monk can gitta one corner on
da corn, da wheat, ds bapan' or ds pea
nutta marketti you beta you lily redda
nose him go'n' do IL, an we wonta give
da one damma r-r-redda cent who gifts
drowned In ia watered stock.
Charity begin alta home, an Jay
knewa da.. Kickers, keepa dat ina you
mind.
Da preacha man is aliy;e.
Da world is alive.
Sois da monk
Mea too
Buta Jay isa dead.
"Requie-
Scat
sin
space"