St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1892-02-11
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

1t is often spoken of as a matter of
deep regret that the members of a
family, after having been united so
closely during the earlier and form
ing period of their lives, should drift
so far away from each other as they
enter into maturity. OF course, it is
inevitable that much OF the compa
1Onship they have had with each
other should be broken up as each
one enters into other relati and
takes upon himself new duties; but
is it equally necessary that they
should gradually grow apart in
thought and feeling, that they
should gradually learn to do with
out each other, and that their inter
course should be limited to formal
and occasional visits or letters?
This indeed seldom occurs in regard
to parents and children where any
real and mutual affection existed in
the home, but in the case of brothers
and sisters it is so frequent as to
create but little surprise orcomment
Neither is this a matter for unlimit-
ed censure. Those who expect too
much of human nature must prepare
for continual disappointment. There
is perhaps very little in the fraternal
relation itself which compels friend
ship orafection. These depend upon
a vast number of influences, some of
which are within our control and
some beyond it. These are the natur-
alcompatibility orincompatibility of
disposition. This, of itself, may
draw brothers and sisters together
or apart. Outside the home uncon-
genial people can avoid each other,
but the very fact of compulsory as
ISOLATION may render them still
more dlscOrdant. AS they advance
in life and this compulsion is remov-
ed, it is not surprising that they
should abstain from a companion
ship which has only brought mutual
discomfort. Then there is the ir-
resiStible influence of diverse pursuits
and friendships drawing apart those
who have been closely united. En-
gagged differently, forming different
habits, tastes and enjoyments,
cultiva ting different tones Of thought
and adopting different standards of
action, it is, perhaps. inevitable that
brothers and sisters, arrived at
maturity, should be led further and
further away from each other, and
become, in measure, Indifferent.
Marriage is often a fruitful source of
this separation and one which even
the tenderest and wisest affection
cannot always understand Then
again, one brother may be rich or
eminent, and move in circles which
the other, poor and obscure, never
enters, and, although the one may
be generous, the other may be proud,
and so they never approach.
There are other causes, however,
which belong to early training and
for which parents are sometimes re-
spOnSible. One of these is the I'M
wise jealousy that is often eated
and nOurlshed by unwiSe trea tment.
One child in family will be bright
and attractive, and another dull
and awkward, and comparisons are
frequently drawn between them,
the partially shown to one above
the other, the encouragement, and,
perhaps, advantages showered on
the one and denied to the other, will
SOW seeds of dislike which will grow
and bear fruit through the whole of
ton may be found in that kind of
familiarity which permits rudeness
and tolerates exhibitions of temper
that would be considered disgraceful
if shown to acquaintance or friends.
This, leading as it does to quarrels
more or less serious, often makes the
home so disagreeable, the first OPP
portunity of leaving it is hailed with
eagerness; and brothers and sisters
who have spent their yout in enmity
are not likely to become friends
IN maturity. 1t may, indeed, be laid
down as a general principle that,
other things being equal, the rela-
tions that are firmly established in
the early years of home life will
continue long after it's control has
ceased to exist.
1t cannot be doubted that much
happiness attends the friendship
of brothers and sisters in mature
life. Mr.. Hamerton, in his volume
on Human intercourse" gives an
interesting example of this in the
case of John Bright. He says: "His
political work has prevented him
from laboring in his business, but his
brother and partner has affectionate-
1y considered him an active member
of the firm, so that Mr.. Bright has
enjoyed an income sufficient for
his political independence. In this,