davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Advance., 1892-07-21
THE MULE BLEW FIRST.

''BREATH1NG into the mostrils of horse
when he holds in his BREATH" says an exchange,
'has wonderful effect in allaying his fears and
calming his temper when excited" 1t is not
known with what intent this statement was pub
lished, but if anybody is foolish enough to ex-
pertinent in the manner indicated, he would do
we'll to ponder over the story of the man who
had a sick mule and consulted so-called vete-
rinary surgeon as to the best means of curing
the animal. The owner of the mule did not ex-
actly know what allied the beast, and it is to be
presumed that the veterinary was equally in
the dark, because his prescription consisted of a
powder which was to be put into tin tube and
blown up the mules nostrils. A couple of days
after leaving these directions, the veterinary
met the mule-owner. That person had some
what disigured face and in general appeared to
be rather unhappy. "How about the mule ?''
asked the veterinary"
"He's all right"
"Did you follow my directions about giving
the powder?'
"Yes.n
"Did you put the powder in tube and blow
it up the mules nose p
."Well, not exactly" said the man. 81 put
the powder in the tube all right, and got all
ready to blow, but there was little hitch"
"What was the trouble?'
"Well," said the man, "the mule blew first. u
The Advance., 1892-07-21
SHE OBEYED ORDERS.

THE workmen of new line of electric lights
in Western city began to dig post-hole In
front Of Dutchman's dwelling, when the master
of the house came out and forbade them to con-
tinue the work. They explained that they had
authority from the proper officials, but this did
not in the least pacify the indignant household
er who had made up his mind that he could not,
would not and should not have such nuisance
in front of his house.
After good deal of wrangling, the men an
nounced that they could not waste their time IN
talking, and prepared to set to work. Thereup-
on the Dutchman called his wife, and with
dexterous and unexpected movement succeed
ed in f1inging over the hole the men were dig
ging large fat slate, upon which he established
the lady.
"Now, Gretchen" he said, ''dat ish where
you shtands, till comes back nit Elm enjunc-
ton"
With many charges to his wife not to stir from
that slate until his return, he departed to get the
Injunction which should force the Workmen to
cease their labors, and the stolid Dutch frau
stood like statue of immobility, her hands on
her hips and defiance painted upon her face.
No sooner, had the husband disappeared than
the leader of the gang directed his men to take
the slate with the frau it and lift it from its
place. 1t was pretty severe tug, but it was
accomplished, and with perfect politeness the
corpulent lady was set to one side as if she had
been fat teapot on salver.
The work of digging then went merrily for
ward, and while the Dutch wife held to the let
ter of her husbands orders with silent fidelity,
the men set up the tall pole. 1t was we'll in it's
place when the householder was seen returnin g
in breathless haste, waving in his hand the covet-
ed Injunction.
When he came painting up and saw what had
been done, he was overcome first with astonish-
ment, and then with wrath.
"Vy was you not stood on dat hole?' he de-
manded of his wife.
"It vas on dis stone dat you vas puts me-"
she answered.
He looked at her in helpless indignation a mo-
ment, and then cried:
"I vas not mean dat you shtand on dat stone
ven dat hole vas carried away p'
The Advance., 1892-07-21
THE .BEL1E OF THE ELDER.

MARY Ell. S. BLAISDELL, OF Ch1copee, Mass,
writes as follows to Oar Dumb animals
WAS calling on friends in Newbury-street,
Boston, who had just returned from Alaska, and
the journey was, of course, the chief topic OF
conversation.
Looking over their photographs, one interest
ed me particularly. It was the picture of a deer
covered with garlands of leaves. It's neck de-
corated with ribbons. In reply to my question
my friend said, Q, that is the Belle of the Ell
der" must tell you about it
"The Elder was the name of the steamer on
which we sailed for Alaska. The trip, you know,
is for several thousand miles in and out among
lovely islands, with once In while glimpse
of the sea. In one of these open spaces the
Captain saw something apparently alive in the
water He despatched boat to find out what
it was. The object proved to be deer, far from
thought she had been driven into the sea by a
bear, and in her fright had got too far out to get
back
The deer was drawn into the boat, and after
deck nearly dead for some time; the passengers
rubbed and dried and fed her, and gradually she
got on her feet and was as well as ever.
"This little deer showed no fear from the
moment she was lifted into the boat. She in
stinctively knew that she was among friends,
and submitted to the caresses OF the children as
though she had lived among them all her life,
instead of in the wildwood. This shows how
grateful dumb animals may be, and how they
understand our friendly Intentions.
"When the boat touched land-as 1t often d1d
the passengers got great branches of leaves
for her to lie on. The children were devoted
to her. She wore bright ribbons and garlands
of leaves, and became indeed the Belle OF the
Elder
"The Captain, think, must have belonged
to your Band of Mercy for, besides the Belle
trouble to exercise on land whenever there was
chance and, indeed, think there was great
need of it, for the children fed him SO much
cake and ice-cream that he used to lie on his
1@0 ko h yc fO1sn
paws, and groan quite pathetically after too
hearty dinner"
The Advance., 1892-07-21
ASKED FOR AID.

Asa Pennsylvania farmer was passing through
patch of wood last summer hen partridge
futtered up and ran between his feet. 1t was
such a strange thing for SO wild bird to do that
the farmer thought the partridge was blind. So
he stopped over to pick her up and found she
wasn't blind at all, for just as he was about to
grasp her she darted toward the brush heap from
which he had seen her emerge, stopped at the
edge of it and looked back.
Presently she ran at the man again, with her
wings down, clucking constantly and appearing
to be in great distress about something. The
farmer walked to the edge of the copse, and she
flew ahead and alighted on the ground two or
three rods beyond winging her way back again
when she saw he was not moving. She repeated
these manoeuvres until she led him to hemlock
tree, and there, in little curve made by the
roots he saw nest full of eggs At the same
time he saw black snake in the act of swallow
ing one of the eggs, and understood the reason
for the partridge's actions.
He hunted up club and killed the snake,
relates Golden Days. AS soon as the partridge
saw that the snake was motionless she ceased
her noise and hid in the bushes. The man went
away, and in half an hour crept near enough
to the tree to see the partridge sitting on the
nest as though nothing had happened.
A TRUTH that one does not understand be-
comes an error.
The Advance., 1892-07-21
SMILES.

GEORGE" she said, turning her head shyly
to one side, Ell think you'd better not Tve
been eating onions"
stOnions or rose leaves are all the same to me,
Laura" said George, with a deep sigh of some
thing like resignation, "Love levels all ranks"
And from the dimly lighted hallway in which
the young man was endeavoring to say good
night there came sound like the impact of a
cold boiled potato against the side of brick
house.
A YARMOUTH captain had a small coasting
schooner lying in port, and decided to give
lesson to painters in general by himself painting
reach high enough from the float, and did not
care to put out a swinging stage, SO he reached
down over the side to do the lettering.
After finishing the job on one bow, he went
ashore to view his handiwork, and this is what
met his gaze-.HID OWN
IT is we'll for dealer to know something Of
the nature and origin of the articles in which
he deals.
If grocer in Western city had known
more of the science of botany he would hardly
have put the following placard upon quantity
of maple sugar which he exposed for sale:
THE CANE
WHEN Mr. Frederick Law Olmsted was ira
yelling in North Carolina many years ago, he
came to signboard bearing this inscription
o M.
He knew that Elizabethtown lay in that di-
rection, and SO was able to make out the mean
ing of the legend: To Bethtown, 10 miles.
G1LHooLEY-"I can't possibly make out
what's going to become of our clearinghouse.
wanted ham and poached eggs the other day
and couldn't get 'em.o
Gus De Smith, All and I wanted credit
there the other day and couldn't get that"
Mr.. STURGEON, the famous London preacher,
being asked whether man could be Christian
and belong to brass band, replied, eyes, 7
think he might; but it would be very difficult
matter for his next door neighbor to be Chris
tian."
MRS. WIcKwIRE-''I can give you some cold
victuals, but no coffee. We only cook once
day in this weather." Hungry Higgins lin dis
gust" Only once't a day Well, some people
is too lazy for any use ~
'sYoU mustn't associate with Chickens" said
Mother Duck to her ducklings. "Why not,
mamma" because they are not IN the saotne."
WHAT IS DUDE? A thing so inconsistent
with American institutions that it should never
have been born in America.
TRAMP's ADVICE TO HoUsEKEEPER.- Please,
mum, you'd better get rid of that dog, mum,
an get q nice quiet cut"
JUMPS at the conclusion-The sleepy man in
church
The Advance., 1892-07-21
HOW MEN FALL WHEN SHOT.

WHEN the lieutenant had disappeared from
view turned my face to the front, bolstering
my trembling hopes with the thought that this
last victim was a shining mark, as certainly I
shooters could not get the range on our end of
the line. Then followed a 6 thud" close to me-
and the next sensation was that I was prostrate
on the ground, pierced through my left arm,
heart and spine with rod and pinned to the
earth. This was the physical sensation, but, of
course, was not the fact Then through the
the brain there fitted quickly vision such as
the thought of battle commonly brings to mind
masses of warning men struggling individual
ly for the mastery. I seemed to be in the midst
Of the melee, and with all the Indignation 1
could express was shouting to the men in gray,
"There, you have hit me p Next 1 was being
lifted and supported by some one, and voice
said, "He isn't hit, but something is the mat
ter" eyes," said another voice sternly, che is
hit and as good as dead. Take him to the rear"
I had so far recovered as to comprehend these
remarks, and instantly concluded that was the
subject of practical joke. In another moment
was seized with the keenest pain I have ever
experienced in my life, in the region where it
had seemed in my swoon that was run through
with rod. Now. what had happened was this {:
I had been in sitting posture, resting partly on
the ground, partly upon my legs doubled be-
meath me, the left hand holding my weapon,
the arm we'll braced across my chest so that the
middle of the upper bone pressed against the
heart. On my arm were two shirt sleeves, a
coat cape; and a musket ball moving in the
direction of my heart and spine-that is, oblique-
ly to the front of my person-had ticked the limb
Of bush few feet away, keeled over, and
struck fatwise on the arm, imbedding itself in
the flannel and flesh.
The manner in which men fall depends, for
one thing upon the nature of the action in
which they are engaged. Nearly every one is
familiar with the traditional stage fall, where
the victim Of supposed death shot strikes an
attitude, clasps his hands to his heart, stiffens
every joint and muscle, breathes hysterically,
and goes down like log toppled over from the
end. Another popular yet erroneous notion is
that men shot through the vitals leap into the
air and go down in dramatic attitude. Some
times men are found on the field in striking
positions, but often an examination shows that
the position was taken after the fall. AS a rule
a man who is hit above the hips goes down. The
slighter the wound the more commotion, for the
body instinctively resists, just as it does when
one slips or is pushed or collides with some
object. But wound in vital spot weakens
the resistance and men sink at once or reel and
tumble with very little self-control-Ge George l..
KiEneer, IN Popular Science Monthly.
The Advance., 1892-07-21

'THE American laboring classes are far bet
ter paid better fed better clothed, better taught
and happier than those of France, and still
Europe. It is almost most dscouraging % to have to 90 20
back to my country and paint picture in my
report which shows such contrast between
the condition of things in America and in
France."-Paul Deschanel special commission
gate the condition of workingmen in the United
States.
The Advance., 1892-07-21
THE NEW DoCKTA1L FASHION.

TN the summer season one comes to realize
more fully the cruelty and folly of docking
horses tails. Every paper and every power IN IN
the land ought to unite in making the practice
unpopular and holding it up to the scorn. it de-
serves. man or woman who thus abuses
horse ought to be condemned to bald-headed
hand tied existence in land where the air Is
black and tremulous with clouds OF biting lies
and boring mosquitoes. The following lines by
LAURA E. RICHARDS, in Our Dumb animals,
are pertinent to this question:
"Now don't you admire my turnout" I she said
'Tis present from Grandpa Billion,
think he's duck don't you?
"Just look at this dear little carriage!
And this love Of a docktailed pony
With his delicate housekeeping feet.
"I'ye named him Lord Ronald-the darling!
From the dear old ballad you see;
And ON don't you envy me?"
"Your grandpa may be a duck" said,
"My dear little maid with eyes of blue,
And your horse might have been beauty,
But still don't envy you.
"I never could sit in your carriage,
And sytHn your isS poor BEAST BEAST trying to switch i.
For comfort without avail"
"oh dear, but it's all the fashion y,' she said,
The dear little maid with eye eyes Of blue,
"Who wants to be thought old-fashioned,
like to be stylish, don't you?"
"You like to be stylish but how, then,
If stylish means So brutal, my s dear? arr, 90 rs,
To the dumb beast standing here?
"This poor stump can have no healing,
No wishing will e'er bring back
The vanished beauty and comfort
This ruined creature must lack.
.'The good thing that Nature gave him.
To be his help and his pride,
Is gone: and all that senseless whim
Be senselessly grattied.
"Wben Fashion and Folly unite, dear,
'Ts pleasant, mayhap, to see;
But when they join cruelty, hand in hand,
Away with the wretched three
"And I'd rather see you a-foot, child,
The whole of your bright life through,
Than see you driving docktailed horse
And proud of the thing you do"
In the mutilation of horses we follow fashion
set in England which has no more to recommend
it than the Chinese fashion of mutilating girls
feet. 1t is silly and cruel. The horses tail is
beautiful and useful to mar it with the knife
makes it ugly and useless Wilmington (Del.)
Euenieg Journal.
The Advance., 1892-07-21
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.

WHILE crossing the Public Garden few days
ago, Boston gentleman came upon very little
boy who was Justify crying, "Pm lost! Pm
lost ~
"What is your name? ?'' asked the gentleman.
"Harry B. Brown,' blubbered the boy.
This common name scarcely afforded a clue to
the childs identity; so his would-be rescuer
pursued his inquiries further.
'What is the name of the street you live in ?''
"I don't know" was the answer.
Then, thinking that if he could ascertain the
fathers business he might be able to locate him,
the gentleman asked:
"What does your father do?'
Previous experience in :" getting lost' evident
ly flashed across the childs mind for with a
sudden access of sobs he replied:
He whips mev'
A policeman took the little truant in charge.
WORD TO BOYS.
You are made to be kind boys, generous, mag
unanimous.
IF there is boy in school who has club
foot, don't let him know you ever saw it.
If there is a poor boy with ragged clothes
don't talk about rags in his hearing.
IF there is a lame boy, assign him some part in
the game that doesn't require running.
If there is a hungry one give him part of
your dinner.
If there is dull one, help him learn his lesson.
"THEREs nothing bright above, below,
From flowers that bloom to stars that glow,
But in its light my soul can see
Some feature of Thy Deity
"AND now abideth faith, hope, charity, these
three, but the greatest of these is charity"
The Advance., 1892-07-21
THREE OF A KIND.

YOUNG man who suffers from the embar-
RAISING affiiction of stammering entered one of
the modest beaneries of Park Row the other
evening to get lunch He chose the place, not
so much because of it's attractions, nor because
it was handy, but rather because he dislikes to
go into more public place with his faultiness
Of speech. AS luck would have it, however,
there were no vacant tables and he was obliged
to sit down to one already occupied by another
young man.
Puh-puh-puh-pork and b-b-b-b-beans," he
murmured to the waiter who came up.
That functonary looked little surprised.
"Puh-puh- pub pork and bb-b-beans. All r-r.
right, sir, he said, and hurried back with the
order.
The young man was very indignant at being
mocked. He Redeemed, and when the waiter
came back he got up with the intention of box
ing the fellows ears.
But no sooner was he on his feet than the
young man who sat opposite also arose and in
terfered.
"D-d-don't hit him ~ cried the new young
man. "He w-w-wasn't m-mocking you. He
st-st-st-stutters ll-l-like w-w-w-we d-d-do."
The Advance., 1892-07-21

THE largest and longest stone bridge in the
world is over an arm of the China Sea-five
miles long, 300 arches, each 20 feet high.
The Advance., 1892-07-21

ANIMALS doctor themselves, using grass, mud,
clay, herbs, etc. how they deal with wounds,
stop bleeding and sometimes perform amputa-
tions, is well known.
The Advance., 1892-07-21

You can never estimate the size of the sore
on boys finger by the amount of rags he ties
around it.
The Advance., 1892-07-21

'sAND now abideth faith, hope, charity, these
three, but the greatest of these is charity"
The Advance., 1892-07-21

A TRUTH that one does not understand be-
comes an error.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-21
LIVE STOCK AND PRODUCE MARKETS.
Chicago.

CHICAGO, July 20
Following were the quotations on the
79lsc. closed 7e34c; September, opened .sc,
closei 1850; December, opened =, closed
= Corn-July, opened >es4c, closed SOC.
September, opened 4s1ec, closed 4sssc; October,
5J5sc, closed 3lc; August, opened 1850. closed
SO14c;S eptember, opened and closed sOlzc. Pork
July, opened and closed SllaO; Septem-
Der, opened Sla.O1 closed Sl2GeLs; Janu-
airy, opened and closed Sl3Uels Lard
July, opened S1.la closed S7.l5
81 1--we stock-Prices at the Union Stock
yards today ranged as follows: Hogs-Market
active on pac king and shipping account and
few best lot We're sod carly at &c advance:
sales ranged at Si956I565 pigs, S555l6o1
light .Sa+oG5.55 rough packing, S5.50G6Oo
mixed AMI S5601605 heavy packing and
shipping lots
Cattle-Market fairly active on local and
shipping account; prices easy; quotations
ranged at S525Qt5.5 81 choice to extra shipping
steers, S413@5. good to choice do. S435@
40 fair to good, S3.5Gl4.30 common to medi-
um do S3.eOGl4.10 butchers steers, sa65G
$40 stockers, s2.3O1I35 Texas steers 50. 500
Ss5 feeders, Sl75dt35O cows. S2.OoG3..5 bulls
and -. 5O@475 veal calves.
Sheep-Narket fairly active and prices main
tanned; quotations ranged at S4-0oa 500 per
100 lbs western, S3.5016OO natives S325145 50
Texas. and sa259da5 lambs
Produce: Butfer-Fancy separator, aOo;
dairies fancy, fresh, l6@l7c- Eggs-I3c per
doz, loss of. Live poultry Hens, l2c per lb;
spring chickens, lie; roosters. &c; spring
ducks, @l2l1c; turkeys, mixed 9aloc. Po-
tatoes-Burbauks, 40c per bu; Hebrons, SD
a5c; Tennesse. Rose. sa35l25O per bbl
Straw berries es-Alichigan, Sl.256L75 per l6-ot
Raspberries-Red. 81. .50lL2OO per 24-pt;
black, per si..5 1:-at; s2s5 le-qt case Blackber-
riee-S2.0G300 00 per 24-qt case.
New York.
NEW YORK, July 20
Wheat-No. red winter cash SSc; July
Soc; August, s5la. Corn-No. mixed cash.
56lec; August, 551sc. Oats-Dull: No. mixed,
3611. Rye-Dull: 1517Sc- Barley-Norninal
Pork-Moderate demand: old mess, Sl22m
lL5l Lard-September. s..47; October, Sy.5o.
1--we Stock: Cattle-Trading very slow at
a reduction of l003Dc per 10D lbs. except for
really choice natives, which ruled steady; poor
est to best native steers, So 6o055 per 100 lbs;
Texans, So $50 3.65; bulls and dry cows 81 80
@S.n. Sheep and Lambs-Sheep. slow but
steady; lambs, active and l4c per ID higher:
sheep S4.0o95.15 per loo lbs; lambs. S5.25I
100. Hogs-Market lower; live hogs, sa.70GaI0
per 100 lbs.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-21
The Weather We Nav Expec..

WASHINGTON. July 1.-THE following are
the weather indications ior twenty-four hours
from p. IN. yesterday: For Indiana and
IllinJis-Local thunder storms; winds shift
ing to southerly; slightly warmer. For Iowa
Local thunder storms; sOutherly winds;
warmer in southeastern, cooler in northwest.
ern portion. For Upper Michigan Generally
fair weather: southeasterly Winds warmer in
western portion. For Lower Michigan-Gen-
orally fair weather; possibly local thunder
storms in southwestern portion; slightly
warmer in extreme southeastern portion; va
riable winls. For Wisconsin-Fair weather,
except local thun Ter storms in southwestern
portion; southerly winds; warmer in extreme
southeastern and extreme northwestern por-
tions.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-21

but insisted that no tarln plan should
have for its object a forced contribution
from one class of citizens to swell the ac-
cumulations of n favored few.
Refers to the Force" Bill.
The speaker Continued: I'VE have also
assumed in our covenant with those whose
support we invite the duty of opposing to
the death another avowed scheme of our
adversaries which under the guise of pro-
tecting the suffrage covers but does not
conceal a design thereby to perpetuate the
power of a party afraid to trust its con-
tinuance to the untrammelled and intel
ligeEt votes of the American people. We
are pledged to resist the legislation in
tended to complete this scheme, because
we have not forgotten the saturnalia OF
theft and brutal control which followed
another federal regulation of state suf-
frage."
Other Reasons for Opposition.
Other reasons for resisting this measure
he said, were: because we know that
the managers of party which did not
scruple to rob the people of a president
would not hesitate to use the machinery
created by such legislation to revive cor
rupt instrumentalities for partisan pur
poses: because an attempt to enforce such
legislation would rekindle animosities
where peace ard hopefulness now prevail
and would menace, everywhere in the
land, the rights reserved to the states and
to the people, which underlie the safe
guards of American liberty"
Hint to the Disafected.
The personal features of the two leaders
were only important as they were related
to the fate of the party they represented
81 cannot, therefore, forbear reminding
you and all those attached to the Demo.
cratic party that defeat in the pending
campaign, followed by the corr mmation
of the Legislative schemes our opponents
contemplate. and accompanied by such
other incidents of their success as might
more firmly fix their power would present
a most discouraging outlook for future
Democratic supremacy and for the accom-
plishment of the objects we have at heart,
Moreover, every sincere Democrat must
believe that the interests of his country
are deeply involved in the victory of our
party in the struggle that awaits u.s." He
closed by recommending systematic and
Intelligent effort for success and the eX
preston of the belief that success would
crown that effort.