The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1892-12-08

"A well regulated mouth mas as
usual thing 32 teeth. There is no
orthodox size for them. Each
mouth being a criterion within it,
self. The teeth shed them selves,
but it's the last ones that suggest
the thoughts that appear IN this
thesis.
Teeth, in the main, are of a bone
materialawith Just enough life TO
make them attractive at times.
They grow until they fill up all va>
cancles about the gums-some hud-
die themselves about and on top
of each ether IN a way that reminds
you of a hill of sweet potatoes. In
the duties they have to perform,
.hey wear away and show the ef-
fects of years.
In the early life of ones last
set of teeth, by practices or rather
lack of some practices, the teeth be-
gin to crack, split off, crumble, etc.
it is now that the tooth carpenter
gets IN his Work-charges. These
cavities are filled up with all kinds
of stuff, unknown to the majority OF
1.-The sinners who call on them. These
Iflllngs very often remain in q
hours and a few have been known
Ito remain as long as ten years, but
the dentist that does work like that
would soon perish, were there no
increase in population, or if people
took a notion to be toothless.
But we have digressed. We
started out to write about some
thing that is quick and devellsh .
In the thoughts that contained us
for tie last few days-thoughts
that took us to our grave where
heavy clods were falling upon our
pine casket-we have had put little
time to study In one direction very
long. A thought could not be cars
RED far until a keen, dull thud side.
tracked US on towards something
else. In the movements that we
quickly made, the expressions We
assumed and the gestlculatlons that
proceeded from us, the lady editor
suggested that "probably you have
8 toothache." Since coming to
ourselves and cheating the grave
of a bright light and beng once
more calm and serene, we rather
think we did have something of the
Kind.
A man (or woman) that can
have a half dozen snags on either
jaw stirred up to a point where
there is commotlon "a kind Of Yes
suvius all at once) caving in, a
humping, a jerking and pin-stick-
ing sensation going Oh in the same
hemisphere of bis head-we say A
man, that can sit quietly during
such a toothly performance as this
Is man without much conscience
makes no difference f he is married
And when a man is met with free
advice from all siGes to call on 6
dentist during such a luxury, an(
uses nothing but Sunday school anc
family circle words, he's too goot
for this mundane sphere. Like
Enocb, he ought to be removed.
| Just let a man start up stree
with the whole side of his head
about to cave in, he'll hear varle
ty of remarks that would try th,
piety of q preacher, These arr
samples: "Got the toothache'
"How long you had it 2" what
the matter p Anything wrong 2
"Your wife dead?" "Cold steel i
good" "Use an hot ashe poke;'
l"Get some whiskey" and many oth'
er things. An average man cal
stand all these, but when son of
gun cody remarks 'Does it hurt2'
then it is where you can't stand
A man that would ask such a Ques
ition as that would steal, do any
ithing-he's too mean to live.
| If 1t takes a doctor, preacher
wife, a mother-in.law and a femal
music teacher three hours to ge
SIX aching snags under contro
what time would be required for
preacher to convince the man tha
"our lives are continually blessed.
/ A fellow that remains awake wit
a grain OF morphine in his lett arr
) aud a quarter OF d grain ID his stou
ache, all at the same time, mus
have pain somewhere. But the
pour in seven-elghts OF a pint c
, rye whlskey on top Oh this (the fe
f low prohibltionist too and the
remain both awake and sober
wa ranoat he must have ApATr