Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1892-08-12
THEY LOVE TO LAUGH
HOW coNeREssMEN ENJOY THE
HUMORS OF DEBATE.

HOW CONGRESSMAN ENJOY THE
HUMORs OF DEBATE.
Funny Incidents Frequently Vary the Mo-
notony of Legislative Life-How Harter
illustrated q Silver speech-Allen on
Diplomacy-Talking to Empty Benches.
Especial Correspondence
WASHINGTON, Aug. 1.-During a session
OF congress many funny things happen;
some of them find their way into the news.
papers and others are published for pri-
waite circulation only-that is, they are cir
culated from hand to mouth in the cloak
rooms and in corners on the floor. The
cloakrooms Of congress are great places
for gossip. They are worse than a sewing
society or a Dorcas meeting. Men love to
gossip. They may deny it as much as they
please, but it is nevertheless true.
The first session of the Fifty-second
congress, which has now run its course,
has not been lacking in humorous Incl
dents-incidents which happened on the
floor and in full view of the country, so to
speak, and which for the time made even
the wisest and most sedate laugh. The
world as a whole loves to laugh, and the
tendency to exclamation is by no means
lacking in congress. A man who makes a
speech which excites the risibles of his col
leagues Is always assured a respectable
audience, and If he starts out to be serious
and unconsciously tickles their fancy, the
applause is just as hearty and sincere.
Private John Allen, of Mississippi, is the
recognized humorist of the house. When
he gets up to talk the members expect
something funny, and they are rarely dis
appointed. He does not look like a man
who had very much humor in him, on the
contrary his somewhat solemn face and
deliberate manner Is more suggestive of a
man whose idea of humor is found in the
latest work on the tariff, or who seeks his
inspiration for light and graceful things in
q copy of the report of the secretary of the
treasury. % ...s ...
It was during the Gillian excitement
that Nj. Allen made the best humorous
speech Of the session. 1t will be remem-
bered that President Harrison had sent
what was practically an ultimatum to the
puRnacious little southern repu bile, and
about the same time that the presidents
ultimatum was received in Santiag, Mr..
Blaine received a complete and full apol-
ogy from the Gillian foreign minister. So
when Mr.. Allen got up to make a speech
on. our foreign relations the house looked
surprised, because it had never been sus-
pected that Mr.. Allen knew much about
any part of the world except that over
which the stars and stripes float. He took
his accustomed place at the head of the
center aisle, where he always stands when
he has q speech to make, and the house
waited in wonderment, specializing as to
what he would have to say about the ques-
ton in which every one was vitality inter-
ested just then.
His hearers were not long kept in sus-
pense. He opened the ball by moving that
the committee on foreign affairs be in
creased from thirteen members to seventy
five, because, as he remarked, thirteen is an
unlucky number, and he thought there was
too much work for thirteen men to attend
to. Then in his own inimitable way he
went on to show how the members of the
committee had to sit up night after night
pouring over maps and biographies, try
ing to find out where certain. unpronounca-
BILE places were and how the rest of their
lives were passed in reading treaties and
other things of the same kind.
Mr.. Allen is a Democrat, and in a pleas
OAo = VI way 40 POhCu III ~ UuC DFcSl-
dent. He said the president had been in a
great hurry to send an ultimatum to Chill,
although Chill had shown her Willingness
to make the proper apologies, and the
Presidents haste reminded him of an oc-
currence he witnessed on a southern plan
tation. While a gang of men were at
z work a rainstorm came up, and the over
seer told them to make a break for the
barn to seek shelter. All the men got
there in good shape except one, who was
some distance away, and who ran at such a
terrific rate that when he got into the barn
he dropped to the floor in an exhausted
condition. The foreman asked him why
he had ran so fast, and the man said that
he was afraid that unless he hurried the
rain would be over. before he reached the
barn. The story came very pat, and even
the Republicans were forced to applaud
and show their appreciation Of Mr.. Aliens
humor.
During the great silver debate in the
house there was a funny incident. Repre-
sentative Harter, of Ohio, who took q lead
ing part in the fight against the passage of
the bill for the free coinage of silver, was
discussing the measure, and happening to
urge. the advantages of the gold, standard,
Bland, of Missouri, promptlyrdeclared that
althoughsMrA H rter wassuchan advocate
Of gold, he would venture to assert that
Mr.. Harter did not 4have~a single piece,of
goldin his pockets, nor did he want any.
AS every one Knows 1T WAS Mr.. Bland who
tried to secure the passage of:the free coin
age bill, and who for years has labored in
and out Of congress in favor of silver.
Bland's shot at ,Harter at once attracted
the attention Of the house, as it was perhaps
the beginning of a little battle of words,
and il the, house loves anything better than
gossip it is to see two well matched men
break a lance in the oratoricalarena. Mr..
Harter, however, was not taken 5aback at
all by the challenge. Politely. bowling to
Mr.. Bland, he told, him that he was in
error, as he had some gold in his pocket
and that,he always carried: it, and then he
put his hand to his vest and pulled out a
handsome gold watch, which he exhibited
to the house. He went on to say that he
thought it was very likely that Mr.. Bland
himself had q gold watch in his pocket, as
every p knew how much better a gold
watch was than q, silver one, and people
liked the best they could get.
But Bland IS nothing if not consistent,
and his consistency even extends to the
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