St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-01-17

since IneSpian Jonn Ia. sullivan signed the
temperance pledge his acting is said to be
spiritless.
The little tiff between Milwaukee and Chi
cago will all blow over after the national
vention in St. Paul Still it is, no doubt,
very annoying TO Chicago to have one of its
principal suburbs set itself up as great and
only rival.
"Objector" Holman appears to have con-
centrated the various objections incidental
to protracted session of congress into one
grand resolution of objection and subsidized.
~
If it will to any extent aid the South Caro-
lima papers that are discussing the question
whether or no the terrapin is a shell fish, it is
incidentally mentioned that at S27 per dozen
q man is obliged to she'll out ANONYMOUSLY to
become possessor of q sufficient quantity to
kaep house with.
{ We are now told that in another six months
the output of American tin will astonish the
world. The output of lies concerning Amer
lean tin has already paralyzed the world.
~
Illinois Prisoner to Lawyer If plead guilty
what will probably be my sentence?
Lawyer-Twenty years in Joliet
Prisoner-Aud if you succeed in clearing
me on the plea of insanity?
Lawyer-A year or two at Kankakee with
prospect Of
Prisoner-I'll plead guilty.
-
Says the Philadelphia Record: "A mes
senger boy, while running at breakneck
Eli 1t.
Here we have two vivid illustrations of stu
pendous mendaeity. First the person in
jured was d Philadelphian moving in gait
faster than slow, easy-going saunter. Sec
ondly, the person thus represented as moving
in an energetic manner is said to have been
a messenger boy. The great reading public
is credulous to degree, but the most infiu
entail journal in the United States cannot
make it believe that the sun rises in the
West or that the moon is made of green
cheese.
Bya few strokes of pen in the hands of
one of his assistants. Ben Harrison, or Blaine,
for instance. Uncle Sam can materially
change the geographical lines of South
America, and make the insolent republic Of
Chilli nothing but a putrid "Reminiscences in
the historical school books of the future.
Should Editor Cara fail of success in his
Mexican revolution, he will probably lay the
whole blame on his proofreader.
~
An enthusiastic musical critic informs us
that PATHS throat is all right, and that she
will sing forever Doubtless, but it will
not be necessary to tear up the golden pave
ments of Paradise to raise money enough to
buy opera tickets.
New York Cinnamon get drunk on quinine
and run amuck in the streets of Gotham.
Here's chance for another institute of BIZ
chloride of animagoozelum.
-
Joe Howard sagely chants:. ''What Jay
Gould may give while living or may leave
when dead is matter of speculation. So
far Jay Gould's whole life has been matter
of speculation.
Admits the New York Recorder: ''The
physical condition of New York city is dis
graceful II is indeed. 1t is suspected that
the national Democratic convention will
hardly dare to go there through fear of con-
tagion.
An Eastern exchange asserts that many
Idle sons of New Yorks rich men esteem it q
badge of distinction, almost an honor, to
spend night in the station house, turn up
"groggy'' IN the morning, pay their fine and
saunter out of the police court. Wherein
dies the honor? Wherein the profit? A dia-
gram of the brains of one of these Honor
able young men might throw broad, white
light upon the subject of paresis
a.. o1Jo
humorous paper published in Canada called
the Toronto Grip. What has become OF it?
Is it dead? And. if dead, can it be possible
that the grip baeilli now permeating the
ozone of North America was terminated in
the remains of the deceased? These are
questions of moment. and they come home to
us with potency most startling.
~
1t can hardly be possible that Tennyson
was historically accurate in his poem, "The
Charge of the Six Hundred" AT least two
thousand five hundred of them have died in
their beds during the past thlrty-hYe years.
and fiattering notices of their demise pub
lished in the newspapers. Two of them are
still living in Indiana. Sergeant John Levich,
of indianapolis, and Farmer Thomas Day. of
Vevay.
A few days since Congressman O'Neill. of
Missouri declared emphatically and ,un-
eouditionally that there was to be immediate
war with Chilli Can he deliver the goods?
TX
The Chicago Globe Ill a ''side-head" says:
EMAIL all the news of the day edition" Some
napers receive news by telegraph
~
When he requested labial joys he looked like
this: