The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-09-14
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

buttons.
He: Is this the first. time you've ever
been in love, darling? She Thought
lessly): Yes, but it's so nice that I hope
it won't be the last!
Harry Staleight went home at 9
o'clock yesterday evening"" said one girl
to another. Glow did you manage it?"
"I read MAGAZINE poetry to him."
"A pair of gloves passes through
about 200 hands from the moment the
skin leaves the dressers until the gloves
are purchased by the intended wearer.
Squirrels are bothering the farmers in
Oregon and destroying their crops.
Many acres of grain have been complete.
ly destroyed in various parts Of the
State.
- Bcstoa has a woman dentist iu sue
cessful practice, graduate of the SostQav
Dental college. She has had all the
work she could do without putting out
her sign.
- To rise in the morning with bad
taste in the mouth and no appetite, indi.
Gates that the stomach needs strengthen
ing. For this purpose, there is nothing
better than an occasional dose of Ayers
Pills taken at bed time.
- Watts This is the season for corn
on the ear-Something I am especially
fond of. Potts: If you had corn that
got on its ear every time there was
rainstorm within 40 miles of here, as
mine does, you would entertain different
views. -
- For soft corns, dip piece of linen
cloth into turpentine and wrap it around
the toe on which the corn is situated,
every night and morning. II will prove
an immediate relief to the pain or the
soreness, and the corn will disappear
after few days.
People who live in new countries
are liable 20 be prostrated by malarials
fevers. Inhabitants Of cities, by reason
of bad drainage and unwholesome odcrs,
suffer from similar diseases. Ayers
Ague Cure is warranted specific for al
ma!arial poisons. s
A well-known Detroit millionaire
was saying to his confidential clerk the
other day: 'Now I've arranged those
papers for my wife and children all
right, so that if I die" IF you de-"
interrupted the secretary. "Say when
you die; there is no if about dying"
"You got off for fifteen minutes to
vote, and yet you we're absent whole
day. What excuse have you gotf"
"Well, sub. dey was mo- candidates out
dan what ] lowed dey would be, en- ez
fas' ezI vote fer one, hyer come ernud.
der a.runnin'. Dey kinder tuck me by
surprise" !"
A Memphis darky was arraigned
short time since, charged with the lar.
ceny of some wood. II bought de wood
and dat I knows did; but to save my
soul from the gallis cannot tell de man
I bought it of, ksse I bought it in de
dark. guess III plead guilty."
= The attorney: "The jury have re.
turned you not guilty; why don't you
go?" Defendant, accused of stealing
pair of pan.aloons: "Have all of them
witnesses gomez" Attorney: eyes, but
what's that to you?" Defendant, in a
confidential whisper: "Cos I've got
them very pants on"
"A country boy, whose honesty is
more commended than his ingenuity,
once carried some butter to merchant
in q country village to exchange for
goods. The butter having very beau
tiful appearance, and the merchant being
desirous of procuring such for bis own
use, invited the boy to bring him all the
butter his mother had to spare. 81
think" said the boy "she can't spare any
more, for she would not have spared
thiu, only rat fell into the cream, and
she did not like to use it herself"
= When young bank teller, who had
stood we'll with his employers, was
detected in a defalcation, and was asked
how he came to be short IN his accounts,
he said "Why was short? Well, the
money slipped out of ray hands little by
little, and before I realized I was
behind" This tell, the whole story.
Very few men set out to be dishonest.
They expect when using money that
does not belong to them to be able to
replace it in a short time. Absolute
fidelity is the only safety. Let young
men in particular lay this to heart.
There is nothing more difficult than to
retrace the steps that ought never to have
been taken.-NashriNe Adyocate.
= The Savannah Press tells of a ply.
sician of that city who was recently
called to prescribe for an old negro wo.
man. After ascertaining her symptoms
and assuring her that her fears of instant
death were baseless, he turned his atten-
ton to her cbildren--two rollicking pick
aninies, who were having tussle on the
focr. "What's the names of your boys ?"
he asked the woman. "That one, sab, is
Lake Genevah," said the woman, point.
ing to her younger child "and that
one, sab, am Lake Superiah." "Where
did you ge: such names?" asked the
doctor in amazement. "From o book,
sab," answered the woman, and she for
got her pains in pardonable pride at the
aristocratic sounding names she had
conferred upon her progeny.
A gentleman, long resident of this
capital, used to relate that his father, a
practitioner ct the bar of the supreme
court, once sent him when q small boy
| TO the house of the chief Justice for some