Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-08-15
JUST FOR FUN.

is in the eating. De Spep-No, it isn't.
It is in the digesting.
She-Who do you think could have
picked my pocket? He-Nobody in
the world but your dressmaker.
A South Jersey paper makes the re-
markable statement that thin people
are very thick in this neighborhood.
A little learning in fool, like
scanty powder in a large gun, will
sometimes make considerable noise.
western lecturer has selected for
his subject, ga Bad Egg" This sub
ject often strikes lecturer unfavora
bly,.
Teacher Gin mineralogy class =
Johnny, give me the name of the
largest known diamond. Johnny
The ace.
There's an enduring sympathy be-
tween the small boy and growing
weeds. He has no desire to hurt them
in the least.
The coffee palaces of Melbourne,
says an exchange, are the finest in
the world. The grounds are probably
likewise very fine.
''I think that long hours justify
strike,'' said Charlie Nairgo. "Did
you OBSERVE" she said mildly, "that
the clock struck just now?"
Fidgety Lady-But what am I TO do?
rx7;+J, NV ho o1y To tho opnino
Sarcastic Youth-Better speak to the
guard. He'll turn the train round.
The Groom-I can't see that check
your father placed among the wedding
presents. The Bride-Papa is SO alb
sent minded he lit his cigar with it.
He Fishing for compliment
handsome men are conceited, you
know. She-But it does not follow
Paradoxical as it may appear, men
VINO have studied the question be-
lieve that the only way to keep Indians
from killing people is to make sol
diers OF them.
Prospective Generosity-Mam
Tommy, why didn't you share your
peach with Dolly? Tommy I gave
her the stone. If she plants it, she
can have the tree.
Guest Ito the host Count, how is
it you have your old servant, Jacob,
still wait at the table? Count-Oh, you
see l only use him for scattering sugar
over the strawberries.
Ellen Terry is said to have replied
to particularly tall young gentleman
who remarked to the actress that he
had been intended for the church,
Rather for the steeple."
Young Architect lanthusiastieall5-7
Why, when you get into the new
house, you won't know yourselves.
Miss Nurich-Excuse me. It will be
other people we won't know.
care you the head barber?" asked
Spatts, as he took his seat in the
chair. eyes, SIR" replied the artist:
''you don't see a chiropodist's sign
hanging up in tht shop, do your"
In Ohicago-Stran ger-Whose little
girl are you? Florence-I'm papa's
little girl. Stranger why aren't
you mammals little girl? Florence
Cause the decree gave me TO papa.
The English Archbishop Magee used
TO divide speakers into three classes:
The speaker you cannot listen to, the
speaker you can listen to, and the
speaker you can not help listening to.
She TO Cousin George, who has just
returned from the tropics) Oh,
George, dear, how kind Of you to
bring me this dear little monkey! How
thoughtful you are! But-but it is just
like you.
Peevish traveller = Darn the flies!
The cars full Of 'em What's attract
ing them-is any one eating candy?
Conductor-'Sh There's new cou-
pie on their honeymoon trip, in the
seat in front of you!
"What sort of a person is Mrs. B.?"
asked village gossip of the butcher,
who had been talking with new res
ident. GA perfect lady!' was the en-
thusiastic reply. "She don't know one
cut o meat from another!n