Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-10-20

some sharp Sayings. 80
THE mother tongue Is probably the
language OF Mars. Yonkers States
man.
CONTESTANTS In the running races
at the fair should prepare by taking.a
bottle of catchup.-Lowell Courier.
THE man who was too full for ut
terance went to jail instead OF going
to the fight. New Orleans Picayune.
aGErTrNG ahead" in the liquor
traffic isn't always to be interpreted
as an assurance OF progress. boston
Courier.
THE hot spell of summer is known
as the dog days because II Is too warm
then to make sausage. --Hazleton
Sentinel. t,...,r
So MANY people go around looking
as though they bad piece OF Linz
burger cheese under their noses
Atchison Globe. 80
WHY not make the cactus the ma
tional flower? 1t has more fine points
than any other yet mentioned.-Chi-
cago Inter Ocean.
JUDGING BY SoUND.-Phwat's thot
noise, Mis- Mullaly? "Mary AIMS
practisin' the scales "Begorrah,
she must weigh ton. Judge.
THE self-closing door-spring is an
awful aggravation to the man who Is
going out of your Office mad and
wants to slam the door.--Siftings.
GowrrT-What, you broke, Brolly!
/ thought you had a snug sum in the
bank for a rainy day?" Brolly-So l
had, but it rained on the bank
Puck.
al HEAR Harkins was struck by
| lightning down on the Jersey coast
| last week" "Yes." II wonder what
they charged him for it."-Harper's
| Bazaar. II
TRoTHER-"You look sad Barlow
Il am. took my best girl to
church and put 81 in the plate in
order to impress her and she never
saw it."+New York Herald.
'I THINK" said the man who saw
the distortions of his ready-made
clothes reflected in a mirror, that
this would unquestionably be a suit
for libel. Washington Star
| WILLIE wanted to drive the horses.
"You can't drive" said his father.
Eyes, / can too" insisted Willie.
Mamma says drive her crazy most
every day. Detroit FREQ Press.
DocToR-"Do not expose yourself
to heavy dews OF the night air while
in the country, my dear" Daughter
-"Why, pa, where did you learn so
! much about bangs?"-New York
, Weekly.
] A REASONABLE REQUEST.
: Son-Mamma, me wants pants.
Mamma-My pet is too little yet.
I Wee Son-Well, me finks me might
have s'penders to my dwess, anyhow
$ Good News.
"WE must attack this trouble
promptly" said the physician. "Yes, "
; replied the patient, who had just
taken dose of medicine, @but wish
. you could be a little less bitter in
J your attacks. Washington Star.
: THE Boston girl never hollers
. "hello" at the mouth OF the telephone.
; She simply says, as she puts the re-
7 ceiver to her ear: Il takee the liber-
\ w Vi duuICSOlnk yOu Nio a WIZ SUI
charged with electricity. Texas
Siftings.
THAT beats me-" said good Mrs.
Il Jason, as she read that fire was
!, supposed to have been caused by
y "mice eating matches. @I've heard
b of pie-eating matches and SIGH, but
g this is new one. "-Indianapolis
II Journal s,se
B, GRANDEUR OF THE MIDDLE NAME.
d Happy the young woman nowadays
who has middle name with sono-
It rous sound. Susan G. Nipper looks
IT commonplace, but Susan Cholmondely
Nipper is too fine for anything
y Boston Transcript
IL WOULDN'T care. to be Lawyer
Browne on Judgment Day He'll b
in the soup" "No, he won't
}" Brownies smart. He'll get an ad
iournment of his case to next day
re and then there won't be any. mex
II day."-Brooklyn Life.
= why" inquired Slug liza ais tn
70 letter 'S' like an unpaid wash bill?
- us this one of those new progressive
~ fakes?" suspiciously asked Slug I'll
Nav. An unpaid wash bill Is Xix
:. the letter sS' because it might max
~ Splinter of a printer."-lndianapoli
M Journal.
N HUsBAND-"Well, how is my wifi
o. progressing?" Doctor-~Hum! moth
ing dangerous. / think If / prescrib
r. four weeks at Wiesbaden she will b
r. all right. But If you excite her TEN
as per through opposition, it Nigh
easily run to eight weeks at the sea
in side. --"Eulenspiegel.
as DELIA-Can't you go down shoI
ping with me this afternoon? Ivan
to get my husband a birthday gifl
Esther-Yes; what are you going {
by get him? Delia---Well, l have bee
On thinking about it for some time, an
,it / think need table linen and rug
ct more than anything. Chicago Int
ge Ocean.
"a a. ,,:-.Nf