The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-07-14

- Il. SEyx@ est DANGER, anu lOr ina
reason it pleased me
best" On being urged for the reason he saw
an explanation would be the history of the
larger part of his life, and this he proceeded t.
give.
Myself and a friend both being single
with our fortunes to make and the love of adj
venture to crafty, joined the grand army Of
Forty Miners to California. We were full Of
life, and had money enough to swing ourselves
into line, as We used to say. We took our
chances, had the usual experience of ups and
downs, and enjoyed ourselves without caring
much about fortune-making at once. We fol-
lowed river into the interior, and frequently
were on its waters enjoying the pastime of row.
ing. One afternoon when we were thus en-
gagged dispute about some trifing matter
arose between myself and my friend, whose
name was Joe Dunbar, my own being Bill
Ford. though that is not the one that is born
on the roll of my enlistment. We became
angry without any good cause. By false step
Joe fell overheard. In my anger, while he
was in the water exerting himself to the
utmost to regain the boat, struck him with
the oar had in my hand. The look he gave me,
which was not so much of rage as an appeal to
save him, cannot describe. In an instant was
over my own anger, and would have given my
own life to save his. He disappeared below the
surface. / rowed for the shore as quickly as
L
from the boat and aed, thinking of nothing but
the terrible act of killing my friend. / must
have made long distance before stopped; for
when came to myself / was among strangers,
and the surroundings were wholly new to me.
The remorse felt for what had done drove
all other thoughts from my mind. Day and
night every minute, that look he gave me when
he disappeared in the water was before my
eyes, The words he spoke, which were, Don't
6sx,fv ia mn
ears. That look and those words could never
get away from. / worked, / mined and got
gold in any quantities. would have given it
all could have closed my eyes to that look
and my ears to those words. pushed on from
place to place with more gold than / could
carry, yet burthened chiefly by remorse for my
crime. l was not diss0lute. l did not drink
liquor to drown my remorse. gave away my
gold to those who had none. By living cor
rectly hoped all the time, thinking to be for
given, that possibly / could some day do
something that would purchase forgiveness.
l became morose and unsociable, ana
was regarded as an undesirable fellow
by many, as really was no doubt. Stunned
my fellows and wandered. / was always sue
cessful in gold digging whenever / worked,
which was always in secluded spots and alone,
only Joe Dunbar was always with me with his
appealing looks as he went down before my
ears. We two were together, as we had always
been from childhood, though had killed Joe,
and seen him sink in the river.
Sometimes / would 60 into mining town,
and among the miners, where they were in
numbers collected, a hard lot generally, yet
among them men of education and ability,
with strange reasons for being there, won-
dered whether there would not be one to whom
l could impart my secret and who could help
hur I wOnld
among these men with the strange idea l
might see among them Joe Dunbar, notwith-
standing he went down before my eyes appeal
ing to me to save him. More than once 1
thought heard his voice in motley assemblages
at night in the camp, in the gambling rooms,
and drinking places-wherever else miners
congregated. l felt was an outcast and onght
to suffer for my crime. Were l to confess,
what would it amount to? There was no law
there in those days, and would be laughed at,
and called crazy man. Who of those which
met had not done similar things? This /
would ask myself; for how true it was that
crimes were frequent ] we'll knew; and /
vainly tried to dismiss my thoughts. They
wore into my brain, and every moment of my
life, and everywhere, they held possession of
me.
"Finally I determined to return to my old
home, there make known my crime, and let
them do what they would with me. The
thought was relief That which had so long
oppressed me and made my life one of unutter-
able Indebtedness was lifted from my mind.
formed my plans. / would get together all the
gold could and take passage for home. Going
home would be change at least. The thought
that Joe Dunbar might be there gave me
strange sensations. To be short, / sailed and
in due time reached the old home among the
Helderburg hills of Albany County, where my
relations and friends were, and whom found
about as left them. But Joe was not there.
l was questioned concerning him. Instead of
confessing about what had occurred between
us and the manner of his disappearance. felt
that were to do so, every one would regard
me as murderer. The thought that in some
way my quarrel with Joe might become known
was a new wIetchedness to me, and was
worse off than ever. Joe's appealing looks and
words were more than ever before my eyes and
in my ears / went away again and wandered
wherever circumstances happened to take me.
In this way / lived till the war broke out.
Hearing of the call for volunteers l fastened
to enlist. How eager l was for the new life to
begin. We were on hand for about the first
fighting. and / have been doing it whenever
there was an opportunity ever since. The in
fantry did not suit me. As have said, / got
transferred to the artillery. / love it for its
noise and dangers, especially when the battery
is close up to the enemy. 1t would be good
luck to be killed. That's my wish. Its what
1 fight for"
This was Bill Fords story.
A year or more after, while the army was
on the Peninsula, nominally march
ing on Richmond, a soldier approached me.
After excusing himself he said he was Bill
Ford, and would like to say something to me.
| remembered him and told him to Ego ahead"
His first words were: II didn't kill Joe Dun
bar in California" after all. He is all right
and is among a lot of Albany boys not a mile
to the right. I want to tell you the rest of the
story. Bill stayed in California half dozen
years and came home with money enough to
clear off the mortgage from his fathers farm.
He enlisted as did. 1t was only the other
lay when l was down to the suffers with
some of the battery boys, / heard voice a
little way off that felt sure was Joe Dunbar's.
When / first heard his voice it seemed as
though had been struck with a three-inch
shell, as have so often wished / might be.
With half-a.dozen other fellows Joe had found