The morning call., 1892-09-20


Duffy shot and killed Anton de Mirsh and
seriously wounded Robert Marley and
Charles Johns.
n Delatre, the largest owner of race
horses in France, died yesterday.
The National Switcnmen's Brotherhood
is in session at Dallas, Tex.
INVITATIONS TO SMILE.
It don't matter how high the waves come,
the ocean must have then.
He Couldn't Sc the Joke.
She-Really, I don't understand what
you can see in me to admire.
He-Thats what everybody says. Funny,
isn't it?-BOston Transcript
He Couldn't Tell.
Doctor-You are suffering from indiges-
ton; what have You been eating?
Patient can't tell, doctor; my wife has
been doing the coOking.-Chieago Tribune.
An Able FInancIer.
In his capacity Of debtor Jones pursues
some queer methods "As for me, said he,
when a creditor takes it into his head to
write to me [ cross him off my list. That
settles it. No money for himw
land when be doesn't writer"
In that case walt until he does"
Taking Practical View OF 1t.
Sympathetic Passenger (on lake steamer
1t usually affects people that way the first
time You'll soon get over IL.
Uncle Josh (frGm L ptbecTeek, feebly)-
You mean well, stranger, but you needn't
try to comfort me. That dinner cost me 20
cents. 'gosh.-Chieago Tribune.
Not Available.
Spaceryt-Are you going to use that poem
Knight Mayer sent in?
Editor-Not much; / couldn't get the
stamps off the return enyelope.-New York
Herald.
His Mask or
Her Adorer-I want to speak to you, sir.
for moment
Her Father dn an irascible mOOd)-BusI-
ness or love?
Her Adorer-Business. l want to marry
your daughter.-New York Herald.
A Considerable Editor.
The editor of facetious contemporary
SAYS: Someone has sent US poem entitled
Give Me Back My Own AS we always
like to accommodate We have sent it back to
him."
Proof Positive.
She-What makes you think he is so much
in love with her?
He-He has been three weeks trying to
teach hert to play whist-Detroit Free Press.
Already There.
Are you the engineer Of this trainP"
asked the Salvation Army man.
YES"
Don't you want to go to heaven?"
"My friend" answered the engineer,
what can heaven offer TO a man when he
has his hand on the throttle, the road clear
and fifty miles of straight track ahead OF
him ?'-Chicago Inter Ocean.
How to Make a Pretty Scrap Basket.
Take your husbands best silk hat the
newer the better, and trim the edge of the
brim in neat scallops. Now gid the inside
of the crown and paste tiny gold stars on
the outside. Tie a broad bow of yellow
satin ribbon under the brim, then place near
your husbands writing desk and see how
pleased he will be.-New YORK Herald.
She Should Not Be Hasty.
Before a society girl undertakes to play
Rossind she sh ould carefully consult her
friends, her conscience and a full-length
mirrOr.-Boston Globe.
Relie 4 for the Feelingk
1t is wrong TO swear but even the con-
scientlous feel justified in slammiDg a door
sometimes TO relieve their feelings.
Vile Journal
when Coal Goes Down.
Vlsitor-0b, this exquisite little cabinet:
did you have it made for a special purpose?
Hostess-Yes; If we ever are able we are
going to buy piece Of coal to put in it,
Chicago Tribune.
Internal Treatment.
He-MIss Elderly Las given up he paint
ing hasn't she?
She-Yes.
He-What is she taking now in its place?
She-Iron and arsenic.-New York Her
aid.
A Thoughtful Child.
Mamma-My dear child. what are you
doing?
Little Lady, am watering the flowers
on mammals new bonnet. They looked so
dreadfully dry.