Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-08-11
PITH AND POINT.

That proverbial orator whose voice
is like a clarion peal of course always
skins his opponents.-Columbn foS''
1t is altogether useless to try to oeiS
politics to the man who was marrie.'
| only a week ago.-Somerville journal
The man who has ''the pull at a
| picnic is generally the thoughtful chap
| who has brought a fiask.-Boston Bull
| 1etin.
-Dick-"You say you were once cured
of hunger by quack! How was IT,
| George-'Ate roast duck, ee."-lnter-
Ocean.
do you believe all you see, Hicks?'
mo. see you whenever we meet ona
I don't believe you more than a tenth
of the time
Mrs Snooper-''Mrs. Stagger's BABY
is bottle-fed'' Snooper-''Takes after
its dady already. does it?"-Smith,
! Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
1t is all right for a theater manager
to present a grand double bill. but
when a doctor or lawyer does it there Is
trouble ahead.-Picayune.
We should miss a great that is val
liable in human nature if we confined
our attention exclusively to important
onages.-Hamerton.
The Brute-Mrs. Wickwire-''1et,
when YOU fell in love with me"
Mr.. Wickwire-''I didn't fall in. 1
was dragged Indianapolis Jour
nal.
-She-'I don't believe you love me
as much as you did before we were
married" He-'Just as much as | ever
did: perhaps not SO much as said did"
N. Y. Herald
Jack Tar-''We amt so very fur
from land, Jim. There's been yacht
along here lately" Jim-'How do
you know" Jack Tar-''See all them
champagne corks."-Grip.
The average man devotes his en-
gagement to wishing he was rich enough
to have a nice home for his wife and in
spending what money he has on nom
sense for her.-Atchison Globe.
-Twillinger-'.I hear that Tompkins
drank up all his diamonds in the last
month" Wife-'I know then that
they are not of the first water or he
would never have tasted them, the
horrid old sot.
Advice to Young Partisan by an
Old Hand.-''When you marry choose
young lady who is pretty enough to
be taken without n dowry and rich
enough to be taken without looking at
her features. Fin de Steele.
IL don't see what attraction the
girls can find about young Sapley.
Why, his mind is positively feeble"
Eyes: but as he hasn't any occasion to
use it they probably have never found
it out. Journal.
Some pastors of churches in this
vicinity are nothing if not up to the
times. One of these last Sunday an
nounced that the next Sunday he
would deliver a sermonette. it being
children's day.-Boston Republic.
She Takes It for Cold Bluff
The tyrotoxicon that lies
Within the ice cream dish.
Though dreadful, never modifies
This summer maideI's wish
Washington Star.
City Maiden-''My boy, I'll give yor
a quarter if you'll get me some cat
tails Country Bov-"AlI right"
City Maiden-''Please cut them off as
long as possible" Country Boy-''Oh.
I'll jest fetch the cats, and you can cut
'em off any length you like. "-Pharma-
ceutical Era.
No." said citizen, when asked il
he would contribute anything to the
relief of the flood sufferers, Il don't
think 1 will Cant afford it. eh?''
sit isn't that, but the last time l gave
something for charity the papers spelled
my name wrong."-Pittsburgh Chron-
cle-Telegraph.
Shortly before his elevation to the
bench, certain judge entered con-
tinental hotel and asked who was stay
ing there. Among others the duke OF
Blank was mentioned. He slipped
sovereign into the hand of the head
waiter and whispered: 'Put me at the
table Ghote next to the duke of Blank
In the evening he found that he was
placed at the other end of the ROOM
from the duke, and called the head
waiter to explain. 'sWell, SIR" replied
the official, 1.-The fact is that the duke
gave me two sovereigns to put you at