The Portland daily press., 1892-07-27
THE RIVER PLATTE.
Walt Mason INDUCES in Airy Persifiage
at the Expense of That Noble Stream.
Especial Correspondence

at the Expense of That Noble Stream.
Especial Correspondence
FREMONT, Neb.. July 21.-The close
student of that excellent magazine, The
Congressional Record, will have noticed
that able statesmen have lately been
making occasional references to the
Platte river, sometimes respectfully and
sometimes with levity. One congress
man spoke enthusiastically of the vast
possibilities of the western country if
the Platte were made navigable, but
that will be impracticable for many
years, or until some scheme has been
devised whereby the river may be kept
moist in the summer months.
1t is not my purpose to give geo.
graphical sketch of the Platte or of the
country through which it deliriously
wanders; anybody who has map can
locate the wonderful stream and its
forks and branches.
The Platte varies from half mile to
two miles in width, and in the spring is
frequently quite wet, as then the floods
come from the mountains, and there is
so much water that certain degree of
dampness is inevitable. To the eyes of
stranger at this season the river would
seem truly magnificent affair, for the
water spreads over great deal of coun-
try and is SO muddy that he cannot see
how close the bottom is to the surface;
but in the heat of summer and in the
fall and winter the spectacle is not SO
sublime. for the river bed is dry and
dusty in most places and seems to be
yearning for system of street sprinklers.
If paved it would make an excellent
promenade, but the idea of paving the
Platte doesn't seem to have occurred to
the Napoleons of intellect who furnish
the material for The Congressional Rec
ord.
Artemus Ward expressed the belief
that the Platte would be good river if
set on edge, and Bill Nye describes it as
having wide circulation, but little in
fuence. Perhaps in future years, when
irrigating bitches have been dug across
it, the her-in-law of waters will not
be the subject of SO many heartless jokes.
This feverish stream is in one respect
the superior of any other in the world.
AS d ISoOI1 AoI PCopiO WIZ Cdi AOooiy
contemplate suicide it has charms pecu-
liarly its own. When. the world weary
pilgrim on life's rough way goes to the
ordinary river to end his existence the
only thing he can do is to jump into the
water and be drowned, which plan lacks
all the elements of originality and does
not commend itself to the educated
mind. When the suicide goes to the
Platte, however, he cannot drown him
self unless he brings water along with
him for the purpose; but there is no oc-
casion for despair. All he has to do is
to walk along the river bottom until he
strikes a quichsand, and the probabili-
ties are that he won't be wearied by the
journey, for quicksands are frequent.
Having done this much the suicide may
take it easy, for the sand will do the
rest, and he will find himself sinking
slowly and gracefully to a mysterious
grave. The process gives him plenty of
time to think and also an opportunity to
yell for help if he changes his mind
when half engulfed and decides thas
there is really no rush about dying.
Many man has been lost in these
quicksands with no idea Of suicide, and
old settlers tell weird tales of travellers
who ventured to cross the apparently
safe river bottom and were seen no
more; a step into the yielding mass
meant an awful, hopeless struggle for
life and disappearance from the sur
face of the earth forever. If half the
stories are true (and a good many of
them are known to beg there are hum
dreds of dead men and women in the
kingdom down under the sands.
Years ago, according to one legend,
related by an aged man with beard
like that of Druid, two brothers lived
together in rude dugout near the juno
ton of the Platte and Wood rivers
They spent their days hunting, quarrel
ing and drinking, and occasionally
amused themselves in romantic way
/ by throwing such animals as they had
wounded or captured into great, hun
cry quicksand which adorned the bed of
the Platte, and which had an all absorb
ing appetite.
One of their quarrels developed into
fight, and the larger and stronger of the
two succeeded in pushing his brother
into the hungry sand, and then sat on
the river bank and watched with grow
ing interest the strange process of a liv-
ing entombment. The man who was in
the Shiny embrace of the sand cursed a
great deal at first, as he thought it was
merely an innocent jest, such as he might
have played himself, but when he had
sunk to his waist he quit cursing and
implored his brother to help him out,
but the brother was enjoying the scene
and said nothing; and then the sands
crawled to his breast, and to his throat,
and he cursed again, calling down awful
maledictions on the relentless brother
who watched his agony in silence; and
then there was gurgle and he cursed
and prayed no more, but had vanished.
Those who admire the theory of the
eternal fitness of things will be glad to
learn that, as the legend was related, the
r,,rvivinu brother met a. similar fate for