The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1892-01-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER"

HE ARlZUNA KlCKtR,"
WANTED. The hIchcr wants to en-
gage a spirited and enterprisiug young
man who Is not afraid OF work and is
ambitious to build himself up. to act
as collector. We have about 5000
standing cut, and will furnish mule
and two revoivers as an outfit free cf
expense. The collector viii be al
lowed TO retain half of his collections.
We regard this as I splendid open
ing for some ambitious Eastern man
who wants to work up in journalism.
He will nc doubt he shot at so times
for every $500 he collects, brt if he's
got the right sort of sand he'll pull
through aud come out out on top of
the heap.
Alter we've given him a dozen les
sons on getting the drop, and he's had
couple of DAYS acquaintance with
our mule, we'll back him to tackle any
one of our non-paying subscribers out
side OF a rif. pit. In case Of death
we guarantee a f2ir 10 medium funeral.
Apply at once.
Al II AGAIN. As is we'll known to
the readers of the Kicker, we have a
private graveyard with 10 graves in ii.
The 10 graves represent 10 different
men who were mistaken in sizing US up
for an editor without backbone. We did
the fair thing in each and every case,
sending for the Coroner, buying a
coflla, turning out the boys in pro-
cession, and so on. The average cost
has been S27 per funeral and that's
rich for this locality. ~
Oar contemporary, wiz Ids never
shot a man, has been insanely jealous
of our plant out on the sand lots, and
on two occasions before last night has
bsen caught in the act Of trying to
steal some OF the head-boards TO start
a grave yard of lis own.
At 10 o'clock last night we received
word that he was out there again. We
mounted our mule and rode out. He
had just commenced operations. He
had his old mule hitched to the fence,
and took the alarm and mounted be.
fore We got up. We run him seven
miles, but his mule was the fastest and
he got away.
We want to De neighborly as an
editor, but we also want this lop-
shouldered, bowlegged hyena to
thoroughly understand that he has at
last made US tired, and that any further
fooling around on his part will leav'
his milk-an water old sheet witho'
head.
II WAS \ FAILURE. We
hint several days ago that
master of this town, whom -
to shoot in three different
the year, in order to eXped
service and prevent him II
on US, had sent over to TGt J
man to do US up. The ~
getting out one oi the biggeSs c.
brightest weekly papers II America
Subscription payable in advance) went
on Just the sans, however, and we
didn't do any private ard confidential
worrying.
All the forenoon yesterday we heard
some one hollering around the streets
for gore and upon inquiry learned that
it was the man from Tubac. He was
reported as being a real, old fashioned
terror from Grizzly Mountain, with his
toenails dyed red and his eyes shining
like two camphres, and that he was also
looking Tor US. We were never more
calm and serene. We sent out to our
grave digger to eXcavate another hole
and wrote a note to Steve Williams, the
undertaken, to varnish up whitewood
EXC and get the trimmings on.
1t was about O'Clock in the alter
noon when we finished our editOrla
labors for that day and started out for
saunter. lust as we turned into SIC
place the man from TubaC jumped5,
on US from doorway and started :.
secure our light ear as relic. "
up with HIM most Of the night las
One ofthe bullets has been es
but the other couldn'tbe reaS
a three foot stick. U2less inf
sets in he will very ike. Hul'
he does he assures US that J
changed man.
He wouldn't exactl
Postmaster gave hir
over and humble our
spirit, but he sa
that we must III
have another pc
man.
p