The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-11-14

How Hard 1t IL to Please Som People.
The campaign orator who can illustrate his
solid facts and arguments with funny story
now and then is generally better able to hold
I the attention of his audience aud impress his
1 point upon their memory than the speaker who
relies upon eloquence and cold facts alone, says
the New Ork Tribune This is how a recent
arrival from the south impressed a noon
/ day audience of business men in Broadway the
other day. "A conference Of ministers was being
l held in the town near Col. b. s fine plantation,
/ and Mrs B., when she started in the morning
/ TO attend the conference, told her husband that
I she would Ike TO bring back lot of the holy
I men to dinner with her in the evening She
/ colonel He agreed to welcome them. and Mrs.
/ B. ordered the cook TO prepare dinner &C
( cordingly.
After she had gone the colonel asked the
| cook what Mrs B. had ordered. He found that
| one turkey was all she thought necessary, and
/ his big southern hospitality was shocked at the
| idea He did not like preachers, as a class but
if they we're to eat at his table at all, then they
| should be treated in way to do credit to the
| plantation and family. Accordingly, he ordered
| ducks, geese, chickens. pigeon, turtle. lamb,
mutton beef veal, pork oysters aud trout be-
| sides roe turkey. He ordered vegetables and
pastry IN proportion, and by the time it was all
I on the great table, set ont with the family sill
| yer, there was almost enough for forty
preachers.
Presently the colone's wife returned and
! with her was only one little, wizened. long
IAAAVN 4AGCAGl6u HOuuE Ludu Cu6 lQbEOQuCeu
1t to the big colonel, who could only gasp, is
that all, ClaribelY 'All the preachers | found
had previous engagements whispered his wife,
IN disappointed tone. but this young man is
a music teacher who led the choir at the con-
vention. He IS very pious and gives promise Of
great things. / nope you won't use any bad
language while he is here, colonel
Well, they sat down to the loaded table, the
colonel, his wife, the organ player and the
colonies son, Rob, aged b. sturdy, insoent, IN
tanned, careful observer Of his fathers ways.
and cleaner of his fathers oaths, a constant
source OF worry TO his mother. and the idol aud
king Of every negro on the plantation.
"'Will you have some turtle soup, sir? asked
the genial colonel beaming with pleasure as the
darkies removed the covers.
mo, thanks replied the organ player I
never take soup
Some oysters thenT
Same answer.
"'lrOutf
NO, thanks
'PlgeOnY
Never eat pigeon. thank your
Lamb?'
Same answer.
The colonels smile disappeared and he be-
gan to look troubled. Beef thenY ne said
Same answer.
This veal, said the host pleadingly, is ex-
ceilent, my own raising. Try someH
never eat veal, thank you?'
Turkey
Same answer.
"'Duck?'
ono. thanks
"'GooseY'
"'Not any,
only the pork was left NV, and the colonel
was IN despair. What sort vi man was this
anyway What did he eat: The thoroughly
disappointed colonel was about to offer the last
dish when his son Rob, who had been listening
with open-mouthed wonder to all these refusals
or the good things of this earth until he could
hold himself no longer. blurted out:
say pop; P'raps the durn little snipe would
suck an egg"