Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-09-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

bllShlCob idCh VI bllC SCntut hO
electric light. News.
The man with a pocketful of rocks
can afford to throw stones.-Boston
Transcript.
The shoemaker is man who fire.
quently gets ''beaten out of his boots"
Statesman.
In baseball it does not follow that the
heaviest nine will gravitate to the bot
tom.-Boston Transcript.
It's only in the order of events that
when his best girl shakes fellow he's
rattled.-Philadelphia Times.
His Chance: Edith-"How cheap l
feelp Young Scapely-"Edith, will
you be mine?"-Kate Fields Washing
ton.
Counting the chickens before they are
Matched is the highest way of showing
confidence in the reliability of the hen.
Baltimore American.
A man always knows what he would
have done In another fellows place, but
the other fellow doesn't always believe
it.-Louisville Courier ournal.
''Give me the treasury, pleise," he cried.
70 a maid with dark brown curl;
'Ill do it with pleasure, sir. she replied,
For she was telephone girl.
Washington Star.
A young woman who went out sailing
at Atlantic City the other day described
the bow and stern of the yacht as "the
point and the blunt. philadelphia Rec
ord
Edison has patented 600 inventions.
but he has to slap at the summer fly just
as vainly us anybody else. Genius can
not do everything.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Gushing Girl-"Now, don't you put
my name in your paper; don't you dare. "
Experienced Reporter-''Very we'll.
How did you say you spell your name!"
Washington Star.
"Jack wilkins broke his bicycle yes
terday." Lucky fellow" replied
Willie Washington. "lline is wild as
it was the first day twied to wide it,"
Washington Post.
Things one would rather have ex-
pressed otherwise. (Lady Festus at
home, 2 A. NJ Hostess "only Just
come, Sir Georgel How good OF you to
come SO late Punch.
"You can't claim, said the man who
doesn't care for the rod aud line, "that
tshlug affords exercise" ''oh, yes il
does, was the reply; "for the imagIna-
tion. n."-Washington Star.
"rhe style OF writing that you do
must be very hard work." Herbert
"Nell, it is; but what made you think
OF III" Gladys-'Why, il makes me
tired to read il."-Chieago Inter, Ocean.
"Ah, Hardupl hear your uncle is
dead. Rather an eccentric man. Was
he alta ether right in his headi" "Well
-A-l couldn't say, you know, till
the will is read. boston Commercial
Bulletin.
Miss Thn-'tDon't YOU think my new
dress Is just exquisitef They all say so"
fanaie-'oh, lovely | think that
dressmakeg OF yours could make
clothes,pole look quito graceful, -
brooklyn Eagle,
Madam, won't you please
help poor sick manf" Woman Of
House Why, you don't look sick, +"
'iramp-"fes be, too, madam.e
Momaa of House --''What are yoa sick
OF" Tramp I"
A poor old topper, ~ho was Ia ths habit
OF getting lost on hla way hame, was
asked h0s lac could alIord 10 keep tbs
dog that Was alsays sllh him. "fhaG
dog, he said, ''aol aaly boards hiiaself
bat ands ais. '--liosloa Pasl.
isiseu-''l heal uhallY Llghlpale :
noI galag "a kagope. alter ali. llas hn
changed hia minaf' Ii-akz ''llis
mlndi' 0FeAt l'eoll lie mlad M.
lie simply lsat golaz "a account ol .
total laek u change. "~-chleago fa.
baae.
toaag Anlhag -'iWhai dld goa lhluk
Of - asA noFelis lYuleAi unele
"0H, i i sll ssil enough. | suppose,
bal lef geasaal uae "a iaeliasi =
ghlak SONS etheg apiaie aaald -
ehaaFsf aad eAssel lasaks sampgEllla
jQalaAls