Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-11-13

he carefully folded his napkin, thereby
revealing the fact that he lived simply
when at home, and that his wife attended
to her own work. "You see, have to be
very careful about my health; otherwise ]
shall be taken from you before the great
work of finishing my collection is done.
| am making a very large and fine collection
of my general health, for no one else could
ever finish the collection. Many of them
are my own. l put them in to give color to
such men as Lamb. I am the mint sauce
| on Lamb, as you might say. 1 am the
author of the maxim that the cucumber
fights better when it is down.
Il read some time ago that Mr.. Glad
stone owed his long life to the fact that he
used great care and method in nasticating
his food, counting the number of bites care
fully, giving 80 Tor instance, to steak, and
from that down to two tor ice cream. I
have had to raise the rate on steak good
deal on this trip and lower it ON tea AT
home we have q very careful method of
mastlcating, as has Mr.. Gladstone at Hawar-
den, and a child who swallows his pie even
without Its regular number of bites has to
pay penalty of 25 chews on our beautiful
climate. 1t is very CHEEKY to sit a. our ta-
Bile and watch and listen to the converse.
tion mingled with the enumeration.
NJ usic, Mathematics and Hygiene.
"Sometimes we have a concert at table,
and the counting is done to music. lead
on the violin. have written an accom- D.
animent for fried tripe which would please
you, I know; also little nocturne for shad,
with half and three-quarter rests for tax
ing out the bones 1t is beautiful The
grapeskin polka is also very fetching, and a
soup somnambula in fiat is popular. My
children are thus learning music, mathe
matics and hygiene"
sliding scale of enumeration like child
who is blinded in the game of ''hide and 60
seek" he will wait many long, weary day
before he Is invited to come and stay over
Sunday at our house.
An Englishman got on at Greensboro.
Evidently Pullman sleeping car was a
new thing to him. 1t probably just hap
pened so accidentally, but one could see
that he was not familiar with it The
befths were not vet made up, and it was
clear that he could not figure out how one
might sleep there So worth. He begged my
pardon, but was this the sleeping car? I
said that it was so regarded. Then he did
not say anything for quite awhile. Finally
he begged pardon again and inquired if that
car went through to New York. I said
that from the talk 1 had with the railroad
authorities I suspected that it would do SO.
How an Englishman Goes to Bed.
Just then the porter opened the berth Of
No. 8 in such q way as to squat the life ont
| o lady's new butterfly bonnet, and nv friend
saw at once that the car could be what i,
called metamorphosed in moment. When
| his berth had been made up I saw him take
his satchel and 60 to the dressing room, but
1 thought nothing of it till later on I was
| aroused from my brown study, which was
| then at, by the entrance of figure and the
| pattering of bare feet along the aisle of the
car. At first thought the car was haunted,
for 1 hardly recognized the Englishman, as
he had removed his eye-glass and thus in 9
measure disguised himself He also wore 9
| nightcap, and that disguised him, for the
American nightcap comes generally from
Kentucky and is worn on the inside.
He had an upper berth, and SO the porter
got him the stepladder. As he held the
stepladder in place for the man I think
| never saw porter color up so.
The Englishman slowly ascended the lad
der, looking like delayed seraph return.
ing from seraphic rally somewhere with
large Etrusean feet. As he carefully
crawled into his bunk an observing palmist
could read on the soles of his feet that hi:
life line was crossed and intersected by
the head line and the Piedmont Air line.
When he entirely disappeared in his lit
tie beddie there was low murmur OF ap
plause, which grew into perfect ovation,
but he seemed to have nothing ready to Of
fer in the way of an encore. BILL NYE.