Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1892-11-09
WIT AND HuM0R.

n l1dll W llO IllAtS Ms III iilho
ally mixes his speech in the same way.
-BinghaD,ton Republican.
About the only things that are al
ways in season are the plug hat and
the pepper box. Columbus Post.
We dance for joy today and tomor-
row we are kicking. No wonder we
| have corns on our toes. -GaireStOn
| Nelcs.
The Prince of Wales has horse
named New York. That is certainly a
horse on Ward McAllister.-Detrof
Free Press.
What woman calls perfect dream
of dress is generally stern reality
to the husband who pays for it. Pits
burg Dispatch
A good many bathing costumes re-
| semble summer vacations in that they
begin too late and end too soon
PttSburg DiSpatch
High church steeples are going out
OF fashion. IL is proper that they
should, as they long have been vane
display.-LoWeH courier.
1t is said the solar system has twenty
moons. If they all got full at the
same time it would be very bad for the
solar system. N. o. Hcayanc.
She Cat 7:3) p. m.)-Do you mind
waiting until | put on my gloves :"
He-"Not at all. | don't care much
for the theatnr ANYWAY p-Ini0e.
"This sentence in which you say that
the Hon. Mr.. Bungus will run like a
scared deer is little chestnutty, don't
you Think" Guess it is" admitted
the political reporter. "How would a
scared cockroach' do?"-H Indianapolis
Journal.
Deacon Jones Before your hus-
band embarks upon this new enter
prise trust he will seek for Divine
| guidance" Mrs. Smith 1T is evident
you don't know John. He wouldn't
be dictated to by anyb dy. "-BoSton
Transcript.
Freddie had fallen down and hurt
himself. He was trying manfully to
suppress his feelings, but his uncle,
who happened to be near, said:
whats the matter? Crying?" N
no; II ant crying. guess maybe
my eyes are perspiring. y washington
Star.
Friends may fall away from man,
his wife may 90 to her mothers, and
his political acquaintance may cross
him from their list. but as long as he
can keep his bald head above the
waters of oblivion the friendly house,
fly will never desert him. PhHddeiphia
Times.
Getting sensible man to earnestly
discuss politics in such weather as we
have had during the last week is al
most as cruel as asking the festive
tramp-who is only a snow-shoveler by
profession get down to work under
existing climatic conditions. Phil0deL-
phia Times.
Lambson-"I missed my new tennis
belt from my room yesterday, Mrs.
Grinder, and this morning you had
tripe for breakfast" Mrs. Grinder
(the landlady, haughtily) -"Well, sir,
what of itp" Lambson-"Is there any
thing special you want me to get to-
day. "-Lye.
| Green-"I was over to Oldpop's the
other night, and the baby began cry
| ny III tuC IloOl AnttSlu Ild
they spank the little scamp" Green
Mot much they didn't. Oldpop
sent right over to the Steenth Street
theater and borrowed property
moon" Midsummer Puck.
81 tell you, it takes nerve to be an
officer out where | was,' said the re-
turned Westerner. "Once. when was
Deputy Sheriff, | arrested fellow
who had killed eleven men, AN
pfwat of 'itP" sneered officer McGobb
81 pulled the boss av me own ward
wanst. Indianapolis journal.
II tell you," he said, disconsolatelN
"women are altogether too business
like nowadays" What's the matter?'
81 proposed to the heiress yesterday
Did she accept your mo. She
took out her notebook and wrote my
name and address in it, and said she
would consider my application.
Washington Star.
Mr.. jerks u see that new law in
Alabama prohibits the selling of liquor
within three miles of church or
schoolhouse. The Colonel (from Lou
isville) terrible blow to Ala
bama." Mr.. jerks Think SOP" The
Colonel should say so. In three
years there won't be church or school
house left in the State. Life.
Dead Beat (humbly to swell, old
time friend of his) Lend me Bob. u
Swell-(handing it oveD-"Now, old
man, for goodness sake don't 90 and
spend it in drink" Dead Beat
(haughtily, pocketing the two half,
crowns)-''What right have you, sir,
to dictate to me how should spend
my own money."-IU-BitS.
Wife-"Just look ut my new gloves.
A lovely pair of undressed kid | just
purchased. They are new style, and
the clerk told me | would be the first
to have any, Husband Cooking at
them) -"They are quite handsome,
but | guess you are mistaken about
having the first pair" Wife How do
you know? Have you seen others?"
mo, haven't seen any, but | met
Smithers and he told me they had a
| nav pait, nj his hnusn ~ WIZ W\Nb, :