Morning journal and courier., 1892-05-14
HOPS.

The merry singing of the frogs indicates a good hop crop this year.-Binghamton Republican.
 Experientia Docet.-"Mamma sent me to get a hair brush." 'sWhat sort of hair brush do you want" "I want one with soft back.
 School teacher-Teddy, what is one of the most important duties of the governor pers)-To run for president, ma'am.- Judge.
 I was an awful fool when I married you. Wasn't Il' "You were, my dear, you were It took me nearly three years, though, to find it out. ."-Indianapolis Journal.
 Patient-Doctor, have trouble about swallowing. Does that amount to any thinga Doctor Hooking down his throat) -Yes, that amounts to $5.-Fliegende Blatter.
 How do you like that cigar, old man H'm! It's union made, isn't ita don't know, Pm sure Why do you think sol In union there is strength you know Boston News.
 Jeweler These paste diamonds look just as beautiful as the real ones but they only last short time. Young Man We'll, this engagement is only going to last short time.-Life.
 Mother-My dear, always remember that it is not good taste to talk about yourself in company. Miss Budd-Oh, I never do. I alwas talk about the other girls. & Smiths Good News. New Boarder-I s'pose you like boarders who will eat anything that's set before them and not grumblel Mrs. Slimdiet- Bless you, no. I'd sight rather they'd grumble and not eat.-New York Weekly. Heviwayte- thought of very funny | joke in my sleep last night, but when l | woke up somehow it was as flat as a pan cake. Litewayte-No wonder. I suppose you slept on it.-Kate Fields Washing | ton.
 l "Have you spoken to her father yeti'' "No; I'm afraid of him. He is a proud, naughty, arrogant. overbearing man"
 "Graciousl What is hei A retired gen. erall" "No; the janitor of fat."-New
 York Press.
 The Big Sisters Intended-Johnny why do you hang around here so mucha Johnny -Pse waitin' to hear um jeweler whithtle.
 Papa thaid he'd have to whithle for hith
 pay for thithter's 'gagement wing.-Hsr.
 yard Lampoon.
 Productive of Heat.-Glanders-It is
 said that paper can be used effectively in
 keeping a person warm. Gazloy-That is
 very true I remember thirty-day note
 of mine once kept me in @ sweat for 6
 month.-Brooklyn Life.
 "For years," observed the verbose calle,
 to the busy editor, 'I have been endeavor ino to discover the lost tribes of Israel
 "Has it ever occurred to you to advertise
 for themf' asked the editor with deep con
 cern.-Detroit Free Press.
 The story that comes up from Colorado ) about @ man who was lost for six weeks il
 an alkai desert, during which time b,
 lived exclusively on hope and cactu
 plants, is perhaps the biggest alkah of tn, season.-Chicsgo Tribune. Landlady-Why did you bring you notebook to the table, MT. Pertman7 MT Pertman-I noticed that we are to hay roast turkey for dinner. I Iwish to keel tally of the different ways it will be servel before it finally passes from view.-Puck Papa-See the spider, my boy, spinnin , his web Is it not wonderfula Do you re i. fleet that, try as he may, no man coul ? spin that web2 Johnny-What of it9 Sc |. me spin this top. Do you reflect that, tr . as he may, no spider could spin this tor P Chicago Inter-Ocean. a Our Overworked Oficials.-A goverr
 ment clerk, known to be passionately at ;- dioted to angling, entered the private ofic ' of his chief and said: "My sister is goin }, to be married, sir, and should like to- ], "Just SO. We'll, don't see any objectio l. to your sisters marriage every now an q then, only you might bring ne dsh, ye knew, W,n-1A RsppsL