New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-08-07
A IRRITATING COLONEL.
those ADVICE WAS do NOT MONKEY
WITH MISSOURI

ion
:, ,TSaaux. who hailed from Missouri rs Is WEI WEI
4 snown. il was considered ungentlemanly, ID inv
\ larly DAYS in Arizona, Ncw-MeNlco ana icAer, ~
isk man his real name. We accepted the hdlicS
4 Albitumen was town before the ralroan gov sUO
" here before the United States acquired llo ";
n -itory What I am about 10 relate happened IN
N he new town, the one built around the ralroau
i was on my way from San Francisco to Wash
Il pcitnn in the early eighties, and, owing 10 SHow
4 ,soScTade in the mountains 10 the east or Al0tu
A nfn. was detained in that town for several oaSs
n On the morning of my arrival met man Win
Il I knew and introduced by nm 10 MAJ ~,
h .vcry human being in the place who was az ~,
ntroduceabc. Among others was lhlrouuoeVs
Colonel Clay Benton GardeaaX h %THdr his
back, Kernel" or Kernel cay or o,itician
/ Seradoo" to his face lie was both poIi'nlci.ann
md lawyer. and got his living ny elthcr or t tban
II but was more given TO talking III Darrooil' una"
A { Unlike NEST men who went West in those DAYS
3rolonel GirarieauX carried no plstol->al1 Una,
se did not believe in carrying one, that he naa
700 little money to fight highway laI ~! NJ oni ~
Is to fighting others, there was always 'ne 'oD'
1uel0 for that ~ - ,o,,h+
4 II You hive ever been 70 MbitumHn you doubt
LESS remember the Star of the West saloon,
near Che station. where ono can get drink looa Vi
Il game nc any hour Of the day or night
uEverythinc is opcn," said the colonel TO u.s.
lin describing The place: "eyerything is done IN
view Of al. and one thinks the less OF man
4 For taking n cocktail before brea kfast' any more
\ han he does for taking breakfast nor docs one
loss caste by playing at faro or any game c,, OF
ASHTON ShGy Is and tSe way Gentleman
Ia epend his money is the way q gentleman ought
10 spend it was born, gentlemen N ~; LOUIS LOUIS
yeis h. yeo P aGe w unfit gentlemen for
( man Of spirit TO live in. When st. Louis be-
.an to put on a silk hat on Sunday LETT tue
lace the home Of my 3T 2na a we the 70 preacer
my, and I quit. I've been coming West since
hen, and now I've been in Albitnmen TWO wears,
IL -. =" nj
Star OF the Vest II has only one blot ihey
lon't believe in the code ducllo They bcIevc
n the shoot-on-sight principle. It's wrong; gHn-
iemen-wronr. The dncl permits Of a gentleman
making his will. or declining an invitation to dIn-
Ter, or paying his bar-bil. Gentlemen will you
OH me in drink?
don't know much about the efficacy of prayer,
,ut I'm well up on alcoholics.
inued the colonel. II know TO he the best. Not
r6m books nor from hearsay, hut by personal /
experience Then. between breakfast and lunch.
sse that is rs srr e1 haf sI
,oi,r one is safe Then whislley Till halfhour |
cfore dinner, when gin again. When ] have
pcc in court, / suffer for nay client. and alter
,a..ee whiskey and gin can always hanE jury |
" Gin; for the imagination: but whiskcy for the
memory. After dinner, brandy brandy is IS
cntisily a night drink. Whisky and en-
Memory and imagination. Brandy FOR. consmlta-
ions Wbis)ey for a Judge gin for a lnry' mat
;ome of my friends can tell when I'm arguing in
curt whether. it's whiskey, or gin 80, -. G..
And the colonel thpmped TIE bar win win ms INST
ID the colonel. after we had !
AIKEN. brandy for consultations. That |
Is the SEER my wonderful success with my
Evaporation cicnts-banking. manufacturing or |
industrial. l always consult brandy j tell !
hem to come after dinner. when the noise of the |
Gvr and t bring Gqs of Sta of SS
.stimabIe bankers, shoemakers and hogra isers. |
)ne of my clients once lost case by bringing a
bottle of whiskey. Ny mind was so occupied that |
|. drank without due attention lie lost his case
II his own fault.
"Yes doctor" the colonel went on, addressing
ion of medicine and surgery; you will find my sx-
|~rience to be excellent. Consult on brandy |
testify on whislyey but defend yourself on gin,
iir-defcnd yourself on gin. Another drink? All
|ight-then I must say good-day.'
After luncheon l met the colonel again. Some
boy. ] spoke abont the code dqello,
1a6ajr on hand tomorrow
What said I, greatly astonished
aet night, and this morning sent challenge TO
! al three and we fight tomorrow at dayhreak. |
Or. X. will be our surgeon Won't you attend as
/ witness aSSistant?7
AS an outsider" | replied, still greatly sur
.nriscd but not as an assistant or as witness.
q am due in WASHINGTON on the twelfth.
The habit Of this country" continued the
coIonel. "is the barbarous of shooting on
ieht or telling Your adversary to go heel himself,
tell every one that believe in the code duello.
.and III that only, for reycnging wrongs and in
suits. must now go to my OFFICE 10 arrange some
papers. II do not you again before then be at
|thc rsiroad-staton. where your Pullman is little
before daybreak, where my second and will pick
|you UP and take you to The ground. But wait, let
|us have another drink before we part
must tell here what did not know till sub
For some time the colonel bad been n
Soprcc Of much laughter to the frcquentcrs Of the
salooDs on account of his innocent peculiaritirs.
nd especially account Of his strong aversion n
hooting sight, and equally strong predilections
were in the Star Of the West" the night before
n arrived, laughing about "Old Clay when one
Icoud appear 10 take his side and could then act
lie his second; another could b. a little apart and
he witness. and could be called upon Us their
second; and three could insult the colonel If the
lcolonel took the insult. and did not funk, they
kthought he would. then the seconds could fix up
F!he pistols, extracting the bullets and replacing
Them with painted paper-wads.
n They were much surprised when the colonel
bot only took up the insults, but challenged all
{wAs arranged for. and the seconds went away 10
fprepars the cartridges and, as we have seen, The
kbolonei gave up the afternoon to arranging his
papers and writing letters,
DR.. K, OF the town. GlrardcauX, and | were
{the only ores not in on this miserable practical
Next morning. about daybreak they picked
Inc up and took me 10 the ground, about a milo
z1fom the station. The seconds had brought the
-FOUR pistols under their overcoats. 1t was quite
chilly.
4 When we reached the place, they put down the
6pistols and began measuring off the distance
ehirty-five PAGES, think they made it, long ones:
<to0. While they were occupied the colonel
|pe1t up to where the pistols were and began eX-
1niining them, not closcly-hc seemed more to be
(0ndling them What struck strange at
ehe time. was that his adversaries and the seconds
matched him closely.
Suddenly the colonel stood up, and in a loud
md stately voice, said, looking toward his OPP
@popents:
Gentlemen. it seems 10 me markedly unfair
Howard two Of you that you stand fronting me in
Ia row. as my second tells me has been arranged.
Now. when shoot. !. OF course, must choose one