The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-09-30
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Gigantic Lady Ito policeman)-Si
can you see me across the street? Po-
hceman-See ye across the strate is
ut! Sure, mum, / can see you o mile
off-Outing-
A Very Gentle Hint: He (at the
dinner table to young wife)-My dear
wifey, | begin to think that there are
a few mlsprints in your cookery book.
LA Tribune.
1t works Both Ways: Visitor Ito
inhabitant Of very small village)-But
surely you must find it very dull here,
never getting any newspapers. How
ld'you know what's going on in London.
for instance? Inhabitant-Eh, mon !
but dinna ye ken that tn folk in Lun-
non are just as ignorant o what's gaoun
on WI US ? Judy.
Discouraging: Uncle James-Well,
Bobby, are you gaming any prizes at
school nowadays? Bobby-No, sir;
the other fellows get them all. Uncle
James es-But you'll keep on trying, Of
course. Bobby-What's the use ?
The other fellows keep on trying too.-
Brooklyn Life.
They Gave Him Whlskey: The sal
low, long-whiskered man whom the can
didate had invited to take drink along
with the other fellows in the room,
edged up toward the bar. "What'll
you take ?" asked the candidate. 81
am a third party man." he said, softly
wiping his mouth with the back Of his
hand, "but | was raised Democrat"
Chicago Tribune.
"They say it costs S17.50 a week to
feed an elephant, Mrs Inions," said the
boarder at the foot of the table. "How
would you like to board one at regular
rates% "An elephant, Mr.. McGin-
MIS-" replied the landlady, wouldn't
be throwing out hints all the time that
he was getting tired Of prunes."
Ambiguous Don't you think, Herr
Baron, that the artist has hattered me
in this picture? Baron-O, dear mad
am, what artist would not feel bound
to hatter you?-FlieQende Blatter.
Evidence of Emotion: Poet (who is
reading his verses to a friend) -Ah,my
words seem to touch you. You are
shedding tears. Friend-No, only wip-
ing off the Observation-Disclosures
Blatter.
Uncle George heading)-And when
the man got safely home he thanked
God. Ethcl-Why did he thank God
uncle George? Uncle George BE,
cause the bear didn't eat him. Ethel
Why didn't he thank the bear?-
Ripples.
A Welcome Relief: Sea Captain
There is no hope The ship is DOOM
cd In an hour we shall all be dead
Seasick Passenger-Thank heaven.
A worthy timber merchant announ-
ced that he was relieved to find that he
need not believe literally the various
passages in the Bible which he had Of |
ten proved to be impossible Being
pressed to name one Of these passages |
he mentioned the ark. 1t was, he un-
derstood, 450 feet long. 40 feet broad
and 40 feet high, and was filed WI h |
live animals. lie was convinced, there
fore, that the lsraelites could not have
carried it about with them for forty |
years Pail Mall Gazette.
"And can / hope, Viola ?" said the
young lover. There is no apparent
reason, Mr.. Hamilton" responded Miss
Backbay severely, "why you are men
tally incapable of hoping, as you would
seem 10 imply by the use of the auxil-
larry verb can But if, as ] infer, you |
meant to make your interrogation in
the potential mood and inquire whether
you may hope, | should say no, you
may not Chicago News.
In a small theatre in the English |
provinces, at the close of the third act |
the curtain did not drop the whole |
length, but remained suspended half
way. Stretched on the stage lay a SOL
itary dead man. As all endeavors TO
lower the curtain failed, the corpse at
length got up and said in sepulchral
tones, "No rest even in the grave" and
dragged the curtain to the floor.
MIR. Bullion Want to marry my
daughter, eh? What do you expect to
do for living? Tell me that? Mr..
Lankpurse-Well, | was thinking you
might-er-need a confidential assist
ant to help clip coupons New York
Weekly.
You may continually see girls who
have never been taught how TO do sim
gle useful thing thoroughly; who can
not sew, who can not cook, who can not
cast an account. nor prepare medi-
cine, whose whole life has been passed
either IN play or in pride; you will find
girls like these when they are earnest
| hearted, cast all their innate passion Of
religious spirit, which was meant by
God to support them through the irk-
someness Of daily toll, into grieyous and
vain meditation over the meaning of
the great Book, Of which no syllable
was ever yet to be understood but
through deed; all the instructive
wisdom and mercy Of their womanhood
made vain, and all the glory Of their
pure consciences warped into fruItless
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