The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1892-07-22

| boarding with Mrs. Josephine HICKORY
dickery. She was widow, and about
my own age. She was q large woman.
very large woman, Mr.. Dobsou, AMI
I am a very small man and quite
thin, too. You notice my thinness9
Yes; everybody does.
But to return to Mrs. Htckorydickery.
Besides being very extensive in her
proportions. she had red hair Now. my
dear sir, you may like led hair Your
wife may have red hair. and your thil.
dren, and all your relations. aul you
may think it is the most beautiful Lolor
in the world for hair. but dye ms eye.
Lrows If do!
Aside from her hair. Mrs Hickory.
dickery was very fine looking woman
and told her SO She didn't thank no
for telling her. Of course Her sex is
never thankful. no matter what you do
for en-. You may not think 50. Mr..
Dobsou. hut can help that I've seen
something OF womsn, and I know 'cm
| just like book.
I'm not naturally a marrying man
The simple fact that I renamed bach.
elor until was 80 years of age w.lhout
ever having made love to a woman
proves that. And might have remaluel
bachelor until this day if it hadn't
been for that property that my father left
me. I'm not handsome. I'm not tai.
ented. have not single talent for any.
thing As Professor Bun,pheelcc said
when he examined my head:
"Nlr Wandle.' said he. you ask mo
to give you chart. but you don't need
one Yours is q very serious case ho
continued, and feel almost inclined to
doubt the facts. but chronology never
lies. The truth Of the matter is this:
you re perfect IDIOT And the phreno-
logical gentleman was right. Mr. Dooson
told him SO. and gave him dollar for
his honesty
"Nnw with these facts before you sir.
| you naturally ask why should a woman
marry me; For my money Of course.
! They never thought OF throwing
sweet elances at me until became man
OF wealth Then. sir. when 1t became
known that I counted my money by
thousands. every unmarried female at
Mrs Hickorydickeries went for me-
Miss Lute-she.was taken haired Great.
ule with blue eyes and milk and water
ccmpIexion-used to play for me every
night in the parlor: and she banged that
poor piano until there WAS no more music
left in 1t than there is IN a dry sink. Miss
Bate. she was also blonde,
"'PAlo as the morn. when hrst her silver beam
SteAiS thrOuph nf
cloud
| sang her worst and her best for me.
Yes, she sang until she was so hoarse that
she couldn't speak above whisper. Mrs.
Knott read poetry to me. Read it until
she had exhausted every native poet, and
| then she hhed a newspaper fellow to
| write sonnets to my eyes, my nose. and
my beauty generally; and she published
those sonnets under her own name, and
then read them to me.
Miss Dott danced with me. Yes, we
waltzed and we waltzed. until one even.
ing the sweet creature slipped out Of my
arms, fell and broke her leg. Then she
was satisfied. Mrs. Hickorydickery used
to fold me in her arms and kiss me! Yes,
sir was obliged to be kissed, and by a
woman with red hair! was weak and
she was strong. But she wasn't satisfied
with that. She always managed 10 have
some one else in the room, and she al
| ways made them think that was the af-
fectionate one, that was doing all the
kissing or course she could handle me
just like puppet and she'd say:
"'Now, Mr.. Wandle, you shan't kiss
me. unless you're the strongest, and !
know you are!
That was the way she did it, aud il
wasn't long before all my frieuds wers
GotherIng me about the lovely Widow
| H,ckorydlckery.
AT last one night the widow told mo
that we had waited about long enough.
| Long euough: said |.
Yes. Duncan. Why can't we be
married this fall just as well as to wait
until next winter?
"'WeIl, ma'am,' said I, won't you wait
until | ask you to marry me?
"'Ask me! Do you mean to say that
you haven't asked me? Do you mean to
| say
~ mean to say just this said I, start.
ing up aud looking as large and as fierce
as could. 4 mean to say that l never
asked you, and never intend to ask you
to become Mrs. Wandle.'
"Don't get angry, Duncan DEAR
said she. You know you are going to
marry me-
"'Nevery cried
"'Then l shall sue you for breach of
promise!
"'But haven't promisedp
1--WE shall see, my dearv
avery well. we will see.'
"'Good night, love-
| "The next morning l called upon q
lawyer and stated my case.
"'Better marry her. said Mr.. Gogg.
She's got everything her own way, and
if you 60 to law about it you'll lose the
case sure. But perhaps you can settle
with her for 10000. If you can, settle,
and in future, as the elder Weller said to
his son Sammy, Beware of the vid.
| ders!"
But the widow wouldn't settle, and
so-and soil married her."
Mr.. Wandle paused here. aud covered
lis face with his hat to hide his emotions.
At last he recovered sufficiently to con.
tinue.
After we were married she gave up
her boarding house. and we lived in the
grandest style imaginable. Nothing was
too rich or rare for my wife. She in.
vested fortune in diamonds alone, and
in less than year, my dear sir, Duncan