The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1892-12-02

.Tve told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent of their evil way,
Pve told my neighbors-I'Ve told them all
Bout Adam and Eve and the Primal fall
I've shown them what they'd have to do
II they'd pass in with the chosen few.
I've marked their path Of duty clear,
Laid out the plan for their whole career"
''I'ye talked to'em loud and long,
For my lungs are good, and my voice is
strong.
SO, good st. Peter, you'll clearly see
The gates Of heaven Is open for me,
But my old man, regret to say,
Hasn't walked In exactly the narrow way. !
He smokes and swears, and grave faults
he's got,
And don't know whether he II pass or not.
"Heneve would pray with an earnest vim,
Or 60 to revival, or join in a hymn,
So had to leave him In sorrow there
While /, with the chosen, united In prayer.
He ate what the pantry CHANGED to afford.
While 1, in my purity, sang to the Lord,
And II cucumbers was all he got
It's chance II he merited them or not"
"But, Oh, st. Peter, l love him so
To the pleasures Of heaven please let him
go,
I've done enough.-a saint I've been
Won't that atone? Can't you let him INF
By my grim gospel, know tbs so
That The unrepentant mnst fry below,
But isn't there some way you can see
That he may enter, who's dear to me-"
"lts narrow gospel by which pray
But the chosen expect to find some way
OF coaxlng, or fOoling, or brlblng you
SO that their relations can amble through.
And say, st. Peter, it seems to me
This gate isn't kept as 1t ought to be,
You ought to stand right by the opening
there
And never sit down in that easy chair"
"And say, st. Peter, my sight is dlmmed,
But don't like the way your whiSkers
are trimmed,
They'er cut too wide, and outward toss,
They'd look better narrow, cut straight
across.
Well, we must be going our crowns to win,
So open, st. Peter, and we'll pass In"
St. Peter sat quiet and strOked his staff,
But, spite of his Office, he has to laugh,
Then said with fiery CLEAN in his eye,
"WhO's tending this gateway you or l ~
And then he arose, In his stature tall,
And pressed button upon the wall,
And said to the imp, who answered the
bell,
"Escort this lady around to hell"
The man stood still as a piece Of stone,
Stood sadly. glOOmlngly, there alone.
A lifelong settled idea he had
That his wife was good and he was bad.
He thought II the woman went down below
That he would certainly have to go,
That II she went to the regions dim
: There wasn't the ghost Of show for him
-. Slowly he turned, by habit bent
! To follow wherever the woman went;
st. Peter standing on duty there,
Observed that the top of his head was bare
4 lie called the gentleman back and said
;, "Friend how long have you been we'd"
q '"rhrty years." with a weary sighl
And then he thoughtfully added why !?
st. Peter was silent. With head bent dow
v He raised his hand and scratched his crown
o Then, seeming different thought to TAKE
h Slowly, half to himself he spake:
"Thirty years with that woman there
No wonder the man hasn't any hair.
y Swearing is wicked. Smokes not good,
" He smoked and swOre-I should think h
q would"
''Thirty years, with that tongue so sharp
Ho, Angel Gabriel, give him harp
III A Jeweled harp, with golden string,
Of Good sir, pass in where the angels sing,
10 Gabriel, give him a seat alone,
Va One with cushion--up near the throne,
Call up some angels to sing their best,
Let him enjoy the musicand rest"
90 ''See that on finest ambrosia he feeds,
He's had about all the hell he needs.
VI 1t isn't just hardly the thing to do,
DO To roast him on earth and in the futu
s, too"
They gave him harp with golden string
A glittering robe, and pair Of wings
And he said as he entered the realm Of da
swell this beats cucumbers, anyway"
It's And so the scriptures had come to pass
No "The last shall be first and tho first shi
DO last"
ed BY Joseph Bert Smiley, October %, 1sl
ue Governor Lewelling's majority Is l
he ported growing and will probab
reach about 6,000.