davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

'Then you doubtless think, profess
Sor," said ]. THAT the dread instinct 10
destroy ones fellow creature is just as.
strong as it ever was. but that the grim
watchdog, science, is eyer on guard?"
''Precisely,H answered the specialist:
linen and women are no better than
they were in the days of Medicis. when
there was mixture of poisons in every
princely family, and one knew not at
what moment beaker of wine might
prove the drinkers last. Those poisons
were vegetable, and extremely subtle
and insidiouS. The victim languished
for months at time his sutferings be-
came redoubied by the terrible drastic
remedies administered with view
TO eliminating the poison from
the system. 1t was only like
adding tow TO the flame. Wives
poisoned husbands. husbands wives.
children their parents, and parents
their children. The Messlnas. Faus-
tinas and Lucreias poisoned one lover
to make room for the next. The more
stately and magnificent the lover, the
greater his danger. 1t Is even recorded
that Berta Gallo. an Italian woman of
the fifteenth century. poisoned her
lover with kiss. during which she
thrust the venom into his meath with
her tongue, and then, making All excuse
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
A KICK ON THE GAS.
The Heir of the House Remem-
bered His Dads Words.

bered His Dads Words.
Detroit Tribune.
They sat with bowed heads about the
table while the minister invoked the
divine blessing.
more light, o Lord" arose the
prayer. ''Send more light to guide our
hating footsteps"
The small boy at the foot of the table
moved uneaSily.
Amen"
II was the mother of the household
who made Tervent response TO the
preachers petition.
MA, do
she managed to subdne the small boy
until grace had been said.
What is it. Willie?''
She spoke with excessive Indulgence,
as mothers are went to do in the pres
ence of company.
do you mean it?''
MEAN what, my child?''
That you want more Light
The minister beamed cordially upon
the youthful face. 1t pleased him to
note signs of a religious awakening in
the boyiSh mind.
Certainly, my dear, the mother de-
clared.
I'VE all need more light" the man of
God smilingly insisted.
The lad pondered for moment.
well, !" he observed at last. positive
~, "ail | can say is that you'd better
look out"
why. Willie?''
"lpll go hard with you if you get
more light, cause pa said if the gas bill
got any, bigger somebody would get
scalped."
For several moments asterward con-
yersation tagged.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

should take a higher ground. What
does it matter whether Moses made
snakes as Elijah went heavenward in a
chariot Of fire? Does it matter whether
the finger of God or the BURN of Moses
. wrote the ten commandments? Does it
really matter whether the story of the
incarnation Is literally true or poetic
fancy borrowed from paganism? Are
we not each and all the sons of God?
Is not the birth of each of us as much a
mystery. as great a miracle. as though
we sprang full-grown from the head of
Jupiter or drew our vigor direct from
the veins of Jehov ah? Will people
never learn that the Bible was to the
contemporaries of its writer's what an
historical novel or an epic poem found
ed on fact is to the people of the pres
ent day-that they may surrender the
miracles and all else which atheists
and agnostics have attacked most bit
terly, and still have every essential
truth Of the Chris tian faith left intact.
Why fight forever with windmills when
there Is nothing to gain and all to lose?''
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
FOR HOUSEKEEPERS.

Emery powder will remove ordinary
stains from ivory knife handles.
Lay piece of charcoal upon a burn.
leave it there one hour and the burn
will be healed.
Crude oil is excellent to wipe wood
work and furniture with, according to a
painter. Wipe off with clean cloth.
When washing red tablecloths and
napkins put little boraX in the water.
They will clean easily and will not fade.
To keep bread jar and cake box sweet
rinse after washing with boiling water
in which has been dissolved a little
soda. Rinse, wipe, and set them out in
the sun few hours.
Meat can be kept very nicely for a
week or two by covering it with sour
milk or buttermilk and placing it in a
cool cellar. The bone or fat need not be
removed, Rinse well before using.
A little care to Straighten out the
stems and leaves in bouquet, and to
take out the Withered and StrangIing
parts, will improve it SO much that one
realizes that even flowers are dantier for
dainty handling.
In no apartment in the house is simple
taste so welcome and appropriate as in
the bedroom. Here there should be an
air of quiet ana repose and complete
absence of all obtruSive decorations and
asSertive colors. An air of subdued
harmony should invest the entire apart
ment, and walls, ceiling and floor Sc
lected so as to unite all together and
form peaceful tout ensemble.
Various schemes of decoration of
course permit of the employment of a
variety of woods for the furniture of
the bedroom. Where delicate olive
greens or subdued blues prevail upon
the walls. etc. it is we'll to employ dark.
cherry cOloref mahogany or rosewood.
Where rose color or warm yellow or
salmon is preferred then the introduce
ton of an ivory white enameled suit
would be most desirable, and so on in
like manner with the rest of the furni-
ture wood. 1t is absolutely necessary
to maintain sympathetic coloring on
the walls, etc., if restful and tasteful
effect is to be accomplished. The repeti-
ton of this truism may perhaps seem
very superfiuouS to some of our readers.
but it is astonishing how frequently ii
is violated.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

these amateur BARRIERS and humorousIy
describes his accommodating ways: Soon
| was perched astride OF a molasses
hogshead with a meal bag about my
neck to protect it from the fall. of hair.
L might say that the fall was great, or
the possibilities of one, from the hogs
head as Squirned about on it to have
the light strike my head right so the
cores would be even. He was no mean
barber, for he scorned to receive any
recompense. l wish all BARRIERS were as
charitable.
After our cutting acquaintance | saw
much OF the barber. One time be was
on the school house steps cutting a
mans hair; again, saw him hard at
work on mans head In the middle of
his vegetable patch. The farmer was
leaning against beanpole with his hoe
In his hand, evidently making the most
OF his luxurious ease. Anywhere and
everywhere he happened to catch his
man the enterprising barber would
work. l was on the shore one day
watching fisherman at his salmon
nets. Shortly a sklff went out from a
neighboring shore. In it was the bar
Der, who rGwed out to where the old
fisherman was and was soon cutting his
hair.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
GOOD THINGS OF LIFE.
There Are Some People to
Whom They Seem Always
to Come,
But These Seeming Favorites
Of Fortune Are Not Al
ways Favored.
They Have Their Crosses Like
the Rest and Best
Of Us,
And All of Us Are at Some
Time DaiSy-Pick-
erS.

New YORK. Sept. l4.-There are peo-
pie so brilliantly caparisoned with the
weapons of wit, beauty and various &C
romplishments that they never seem to
drift into the background. They always
get the ''star" parts in everything. At
least it seems so to US. We never see
them when, through some hitch
Of circumstances, they are oc-
cupying some minor position.
1t seems impossible to imagine them oc-
cupying the post of listener, or eating,
the drumsiick of the chicken, or carry
ing the parcels, or doing any of those
things that poor relations and other
people of no account do-as impossible
rs ii is to imagine Ada Rehan playing
small soubrette part, or Oscar Wilde
writing little jokes for small comic pa
pers.
But ii we come to study these tortu-
nate people in all lights, and 10 see
them under all circumstances. we shall
find that they have had and still have
their dull times, their lesser occasions,
when other stars" perhaps generally
less bright. shone with brighter radi-
Rnce for the time being.
There is no one in this wide world,
/ don't care how great, how brilliant,
and how charming. how generally ad-
mlred, who has not at some time of his
life occupied the unenyiable post of
''daiSy- picker"
Ii you are one of the lucky ones in
this great game of chance, one of the
people who tell anecdotes that are list
ened TO and laughed at, one of the peo-
pie who never sit with their backs to
The engine. and have never been a wall
flower-if you are one of these favored
ones of the earth. and your head is
thereby swelied with vanity, take a turn
or two at daisy-picking a goose
berry," on one or two occasions, and
your indomitable pride will be humbled
to the dust, for there is no pursuit so
conducive to a broken spirit and bored
humility as daisy-picking.
After an evening spent alone with an
engaged couple you will come home a
Sadder and wiser man or woman. You
will feel that after all you are of very
little account. After an evening spent
alone with newly married couple you
will come home feeling utterly crushed,
ignored and next door to being wiped out
of existence, as dispirited as the Queen
of Sheha felt after visiting the court
of King Solomon. You will feel that
after all you are of no account at all.
You will wonder sadly if there is any
thing in you after all. 1t was not al
ways thus. There have been times
when you were the center of attraction,
but the boredom of the present is so
Overpowering and vivid that the past
seems lost and the future full of vague
possibilities of daisy picking.
Redfern is making a great many
evening gowns of real lace made i'm the
Empire style. The demi-saison walk
ing gowns are made of lightweight
serges, beigeS and good many of
corduroy. They are all short.
| must show you an eccentric but eX-
tremely stylish coat which Redfern has
just imported. 1t is quite the newest
thing out.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

where it had stood during all the weary
trial. Thirty minutes passed and the
people were still motionless, charmed
by the sweet elo quence of the gruff old
lawyer. Three-Quarters of an hour
passed by, then another ten minutes.
When the clock over the big desk told
him there were but five minutes left,
he reached his hand out to the
cake, half of which stood upon the
table, and broke off a ragged chunk.
He held this in his hand and between
sentences took great mouthfuls Of it.
During those five minutes he calmly
argued the case and ate cake. He de-
molished more than half of it. The
chemist had declared that there was
enough poison in it to kill fifty men. The
good people looked at him in amaze
ment, and the jurors turned to each
other and whispered. McSweeney
wound up his speech, took another
chunk Of cake and walked quietly from
the court room eating it. He closed the
door behind him. ran into a small room
close by and locked the door. Two
physicians stood ready with stomach
pump, and in ten minutes the cake was
all in the slop jar. The jury returned a
verdict of mot guilty. without leaving
the court room.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

G. leased five acres of ground in the
suburbs of Cincinnati for hen farm,
hired negro assistant, and started in
to realize an independent fortune. But
the bonanza failed to pan out just as l
had expected. When eggs were a drug
at six cents every hen on the place rose
early and worked late. i am not sure
about it, but am inclined to think they
laid about three times day. When the
holidays came on. and eggs went BOOM
ing up to 60 cents, every measIy hen
went on a strike. They simply stood
around and cackled and consumed
grain that they had not earned
BY hard hustling and vigorous expos
tulation with hens that would set
when eggs were way up and would not
set when they were way down, | had
accumulated couple of hundred young
chickens. When they reached frying
size the rats took half of them, the
negroes got the rest. and the old ones
died of the pip, leaving as the flag end
OF my model hen farm choice collec-
ton of china nest eggs and one old
Shanghai rooster that had both eyes
knocked out in little unpleasantness
with brother Mormon. Then filed
my hopes away, mathematical the
theoretical idiots who point the way to
commercial preferment through the
poultry yard, and began to hustle for
lob"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
LAYING THE BLAME.
Why Customer Returned With
Eggs Labeled as Fresh as Dali

Why a Customer Returned With
Eggs Labeled as Fresh as Dali.
sizes.
AS the grocer saw him enter the store
with quick, angry. step. he knew he
had no ordinary customer to deal with.
The man strobe over to his counter.
threw down a basket he had been carry
ing. and delivered himself of a little
speech he had evidently rehearsed on
the way.
This is an Internal outrage on cit
izen and a-a-cash customer" he thun-
dered, bringing his closed fist down
with thump. Here you have not
only swindied me out of nv good
money. but made me appear a poor,
miserrble fool in the eyes of nv wife
my wife, sir just look at those-those
fossils, sir, and tell me what you
mean by selling such things"
The grocer silently opened the little
basket, but slammed down the lid the
next moment and moved nearer the
door, where he could catch the fresh air.
In yellow bowl inside the basket were
half dozen cracked eggs. Nothing but
deep sense Of wrong could have in
duced the man to bring them from home
for the most heartiess person would
have admitted that they were too far
gone already.
Those are nice things 10 put in your
window and label fresh eggs, amt
they?' Intercepted the man in sar-
castle way. '1'd just like to know what
excuse you can make
when did you buy them?' asked the
grocer, after chewing the ends of his
moustache awhile.
Last nigh"
II thought there was a mistake some
where" replied the grocer. with q re-
turning smile on his face: '.It was your
own blame. Sir. Those eggs were as
fresh as daisies when | labelled them a
fortnight ago."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
woman's sphere Enlarging.

New York Tribune.
Woman's sphere is being enlarged in
England. In the British Medical asso-
citation the rule declaring women incl
igibie for membership has been re-
scinded. and woman is to speak at the
next meeting of the church congress.
The latter fact has excited the wrath of
Rev. Mr.. Hubbard, of FoIkstone, who
has made the following statement
from the pulpit: SIT is wrong and
unscriptural for a woman to speak
in our public assemblies. especially
at religious gatherings of the Church
of England, and l felt, as one
honest 10 my conscientious convictions,
l must write to the church congress
committee. and resign from those com
mIttees of which l have the honor to be
a member. at the same time expressing
my great regret that the subjects COM
mittee should have sanctioned the ap-
peararce of lady as a speaker on a
Church of England platform, coun-
tenancing, so 1t seems to me, the desire
on the part of some ladies of the present
day to assume to themselves masculine
offices and duties and to act antagonist
icatly to the beauty and mission and
dignity of true WOmanhood."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
MRS. LOFTY is DEFEATED.

She Goes Through the Usual Per-
Torrance of Servant Hunting.
Smith, GRAY & Co. Is Monthly.
II know just exactly the kind of a
girl want and the kind Pm going to
have" said Mrs. Lofty, with marked
decision, to Mr.. Lofty at the breakfast
table on the morning after Miss Judy
Mulcahey had packed her two trunks,
her three valises and two band-boxes
and departed from house in which
mo dacent, self-respectin' girrul would
shtay an put up wild the loikes of Mis-
tress Lofty"
1.-THE trouble with me has been,''
went on Mrs. Lofty, THAT I've been toe
easy and yielding, and have made it toe
pleasant for our servant girls, and
they've taken liberties or that account
Now Pm going to turn over new leaf,
and be severe and unyielding. Pm just
going to lay down the law to the next
girl engage"
Behold, then. Mrs. Lofty ''laying
down the law'' to Miss Rosy O'Hooli-
han, who has graciously consented to
''sphake wild" Mrs. Lofty after that lady
has spent -four solid days" going from
one to the other of fifteen different ''em-
ployment agencies"
Il am looking for girl" began Mrs.
Lofty, land L"
''How many in the family, ma'amw
-Four, and | want"
''Do we kape but one girrul?"
II keep two, and hire the washing
and ironing done out. l want
DO the two girruls slape together?'
mo, L"
"Divil step would Oh go aft they did.
HQUa hi SUNDAYS on6 fHhnnrc n a VIC
out?'
"Well, I-LI-was going to say
that"
.'Have OF me Sundays and Thoors-
days out?"
"Well-er-yes. think that [ could
arrange it so that
''Oi have 'em, ma'am, or l don't go.
Ye don't mind a girrul having dacent
company to see her, ma'am?"
"J"Well-nO, I-I-gueSs not"
''An' ye'd not iXpect girrul to in ter
tain her fri'nds in the kitchen?"
''I-l-that is"
''Divil fut would Oh put in a house
wnere Oh would be put upon loike that.
Is there gas in me room, ma'am?"
Yes; | was going to say that"
AN does girrul have the same to
ate that the family has?'
"Well, some girls don's care to have
the same.''
''Oi'm not loike some girruls, then; Oh
can say that to We now, ma'am. Have
ye this nasthy sthraw mating or a
dacent kyarpet in me room?"
There's mating on the floor now"
st w'd come up if l whit to We.
ma'am. 1t makes me cr-r-a-pe to
put me fut on sthraw mating. Are yez
in the kitchen much, ma'am?'
Some; l think that
''Begorry. the Kitchens no place for
the lady ay the house, ma'am.''
At O'Clock that night when Mr..
Lofty came home to dinner and asked,
We'll, any cook yet?" Mrs. Lofty re-
piled YEARLY and meekly:
Yes: Eve found one at last"
That's good. lrish?"
Il should say so. Herrname is Rosy
O'Hooliilan.'
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
ening tone.


In the lawyers letter to the postmas-
ter he said that he had received the in
closed communication through the mail.
1t was not intended for him, but for
some one else of the same name. The
lawyer had never heard of the New
York firm, but he asked the postmaster
if it was not crime against the United
States to send threatening letters of
such character through the mail.
The communication referred to by the
legal gentleman stated that if he did
not forthwith return to the publishing
firm an art album delivered to him, or
else forward at once So, the balance due
on the same, he would be arrested for
larceny and prosecuted under the GRIM
inal code.
Assistant Postmaster Hughes wrote
his correspondent during the after
noon that there was no offense COM
mitted under the United States laws.
lnaSmuch as the threatening letter had
been Enclosed in sealed envelope. but
he gave 1t as his opinion that the offenSe
was punishable under the act of assem-
bly, of the state of Pennsylvania, and he
believed the threatening firm could be
extradited and tried and convicted in
this state. What the indignant lawyer
will do under the circumstances remains
to be seen.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18

tender hearts. Horsemen smile or
swear, according to tho way the colonel
has handled them, and caterers smile
all over. But the flutter that has just
struck drink-mixer at the Auditorium
hotel is of an entirely different char
acter.
Col. Clark, as horseman, lends re-
spectability to the Garfield Park track
at the rete of 500 per day. and there is
no wonder that he lives on the fat of
the land. But Garfield Park has very
rough track just now, aggrayating dis
turbers springing up on all sides to 0p-
pose in the courts the opening of Gar
field Park Monday. The opposition is
looming up in immense shape, and Col.
Clark's 500 per day is proportionately
diminishing. This makes him peeyish,
and he resents any contradiction. He
was making things hot for Chicago and
Chicagoans in general, denominating, it
is said, the latter as robbers, and en-
phasizing his remarks on the Audito-
rum hotel bar.
The bartender, a dapper young fell
low, had been watching for his chance,
and suddenly called the colonel down.
The colonel asked if he was being called
liar. and was told that some people
might take it that way. Then it dawned
on Col. Clark that he was not in the
right class, and he retired for more
weight. Only few minutes elapsed
when he stalked into the barroom and
sought the seltzer juggler. From be-
meath his coat he drew the largest
concealed weapon the bartender had
ever seen, and as the portable
howitZer was laid on the marble slab its
muzzle was pointed toward the mixer.
The colonel slid the gun along until the
opening rested just beneath the dia-
| mond on the others shirt front.
The discussion was short, the bar
tender acquiescing readily to the Ken
lucky gentleman's demand for an apol-
ogy. He acknowledged that he had
done wrong in saying what he had to a
guest of the house, standing as he did,
an employe of the establishment. This
| was all the colonel wanted, and a few
minutes later he retired serene.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
A SUCCESSFUL OPERATION.
AT Least the Pretty Young Lady
Medical Student Thought II

! at Least the Pretty Young Lady
Medical Student Thought 1t
Was.
| Chicago Times.
Over in the neighborhood of the county
hospital and the COLONY of medical col.
legeS are some druggists who see a host
OF funny things. One of them tells
joke on group of young "medcs" that
is worth printing.
lone day a crowd of young men and
young women, all of them students, were
standing by the soda fountain talking
OF their work. They were particularly
interested in an operation which had
been performed recently in clinics by
one of the most noted surgeons of Chi
cago. He had opened the abdomen
of man, cut out certain dis
eased portions of the intestines,
sewed the ends together, patched
up the mans cuticle and returned him
to nurses care. This day he had been
discharged cured. One of the young
men and two of the young women stood
a little apart from the others with a
proud look Oh their faces. He was
junior.
'''Why. Harry performed that opera
ton on dog for US the day after the
doctor demonstrated it for us in clinic
said one of the two pretty girls, and
did it beautifully, too; just as well as
the doctor did,"
The others in the crowd looked their
interest and the girl continued her
story.
Yes, it was entirely successful. He
caught the pIettiest little dog you ever
saw and brought it up into orr attic for
private demonstration. There was
just mamma and Kitty and me. He
chioroformed the dog and then laid him
out OH the operating board. Then
mamma got faint and had to go down
stairs. Oh, the operation was Just
beautiful. Harry gave the dog lots of
chloroform, aud then made the opening
and removed three feet-just think Of
it, three feet!-of the intestine. Then
he stitched it together and sewed I'D
the wound just as we'll as the doctor did
in the clinics. 1t was perfectly sue
cessful.'
but where is the dog?' asked one Of
the auditors.
...Oh. the dog died. was the pretty
girls reply. lie never came to con-
sciousness again.
''fhen she couldn't understand why
we all yelled with laughter and thought
the story was funny"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-09-18
In the Hen business.
Louis Globe-Democrat.

ST., Louis Globe-Democrat.
Il quit the road year ago to 60 into
the hen business" said Calvin Wharton
to a group of fellow knights of the grip
who were swapping snake stories in the
Lindeli corridors. II had been reading
in the papers how man made $500 in
one year from fifty hens. sized up my
pile. consulted the hen market, and
found that l could purchase 1000 hens
and provide them with accommoda-
tons. Now, if fifty hens will net $500,
a thousand of tie feathered bipeds
should BE- good for S10,00D a
year. That's the way figured it.
aid my hopes weie way UP in