The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-01-06
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

be one who went into the tank Of his
own accord
A Doubtful Compliment: Clerk
Your age, please. Woman Voter face
tiOusly)-A woman, you know, is only
as old as she looks. Clerk (gallantly)
-But surely, madam, you can not be
as old as that.
Speeches to be lived down: Mrs.
Simper-So glad TO know that your
sister enjoyed her visit 10 us, MIR.
Smith. Mr.. Smith Ia chronic blum
derer)-WelI. Bette is a girl who can
enjoy herself anywhere.
A Victim Of Experiments: "Is this
Mr.. Quezeen, the husband Of tn, cele-
brated lecturess on cookery p "Yes,"
replied the hollow eyed, detected man I;
III am the man she experiments on
with her new dishes"
Our Educated Youth: Father
What did you learn to-day, Tom {?
Tom (wellgrown but dull)-I learned
lin the 'rithmetic class that the square
of the base and perpendicular of a
nght-handed triangle Is equal to the
sum Of the hippOpOtamus.
Judging BY Appearances: Stout
Old Lady Gn drug storel- Boy, do We
keep a mixter for reducin' the weight? ?
Boy-Yassum; here's a bottle Of it.
Old IAdy-Well, / don't know zackly
how much to git. Boy (diagnosingIy)
= Better take all we've got, mum.
"Are the young ladies of the present
day fit for wives?' asked a lecturer Of
his audience.
"They are fit for husbands > remark
cd feminine voice; "but the difficulty
is that you men are not fit for wives" !"
The applause was thundercus.
Mr.. BashfuPs Soulful Song; Mrs.
Chatterby (to her daughter Edith,
did Mr. Bashful propose last evening?
Edith-Not, exactly, mother, but when
Tommy came in and climbed into my
lap, Mr.. Bashful went to the piano and
sang, "Would | we're boy again.
leap Year Caution: Boy-There's
a lady downstairs, your Holiness, who
wishes to see you. The Pope Who Is
she? Boy-Queen Victoria, your Ho-
lincss. The Pope (suspiciouslyl-Tell
her tha' / am not at h me. One can
not be too careful du ing leap year.
An Apology Due the Waiter Guest
Cat evening party to beautiful young
manl-You may bring me an ice, wait
er Supposed Waiter (fercely)-Sir.
I'm no waiter, and such blundcr de-
mands an apology. sir! Guest (self. !
possesscd) = Certainly it does. Where
do you suppose | could find the waiter ?
The Home e-Coming Graduates: Bo-
rpr So your son and daughter both |
graduate this month, neighbOr? Mr. |
Thistlepod-Yes, they'll both be home
with diplomas on the 10Th. Borer--
And what are they going to do this
summer? Mr.. ThistlepOd (thought-
fully)-Well, Marthy writes that she
wants to pursue her art studies on the
continent, so think | II compromise by
sending her into the dairy and letting
her 30 little fancy modelling in but
ter. Sam says he must 20 abroad and
polish up a little, and as good luck will
have it, he'll be home just IN time to
spread himself on the grindstone and
put an edge on the scythe blades a.
gainst wheat harvest.
And the old man smiled to think
that he hadn't thrown money away
when he sent his children to school,
BHTdefte.
Blessed influence Of one true, loving
human soul on another Not calculable
by algebra, not deducible by logic. bat
effectual, mighty as the hid
den process by which the tiny seed IS
and bursts forth into tall
stem and broad leaf, and glowing tas-
seled flower. Ideas are often poor
ghosts; our sun-6lled eyes can not dis
Germ them /; they pass athwart rs In
thin yapor, and can not make them
selves felt. But sometimes they are
made flesh, they breath upon US with
warm breath, they touch us with soft
hands, they look at Us with
sad, sincere eyes. and speak TO us in
tones they are clothed in a
living human soul, W th all its conflicts,
It's faith, and its love. Then their
presence is power, then they shake
rs like a passion, and we are drawn af-
Ter them with gentle compulsion, as
tame Is drawn to hame.-George Ell
'Ot,
There are few things more wonder
'ul TO me than that old people never
ell young ones how precious their youth !
s. They sometimes sentimentally re-
yret their own earlier days; sometimes
1rudently forget them; often foolishly
'ebuke the young. often more foolishly !
indulge, often most foolisbIy thwart !
md restrain; but scarcely ever warn
" watch over them. Remember, then, !
hat /, at least have warned you, that /
he happiness OF your life, and its pow.
n, and its part and rank in earth or in I
leaven, depend on the way you pass b
our days now. They are not 10 be !
iad days; far from that, the first duty |
f young people Is TO be delighted and J
but they are to be in the Q