Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-10-15
COL sUcc OF KANSAS.
Ho Complains Of . Little Too AoeA
Brevity.

Brcvity.
'The next thing and some light
hearted American will be quoting
Shakespeare as saying: .Brevity j!
the S. O. W."
The speaker, says the Inter Ocean
was Col Solomon Bugg, late OF Kan
sas, and editor OF the FL Dorado
Spleen. The Colonel was seated at q
lunch counter with his heels hung or
a high round and his bent legs man
ufacturing two large bags in the
knees of his trousers, function fol
which lunch counter stools are justly
famous. He took of his broad
trimmed hat and surveying it casually
continued:
"Where is this country going to,
gentlemen? What is going to become
of Us! I ask this in all sincerity. Has
the American Nation respected the
sanctity of anything? Do the Ameri-
can people hold anything inviolable:
Is there any pride in the preserva-
ton OF any art in the National con.
glomerate called uncle Sam?' Show an
American a beautiful pastoral paint
ing and be will ask the artist how
much wheat to the acre the field over
&c the right of the picture is intended
to produce.
Take him to a classical concert and
he will pick the biggest horn for the
best music every time.
And look at our language. Just
think how it has been juggled and
jumbled. There is no respect for
purity, for form or precedence Take
the present craze for authorizations.
1t is abominable, scurriOusly abOmin-
able, sir. How many citizens of Chi
cago speak English to-day? Just now
asked the waiter to bring me cup
Of coffee right away and he said,
''Cert-. P. D. O." Could Dick Steele
or Addison or old DR.. Johnson under
stand such English as that?
CUTTING IT SHORT.
Sometimes when l get to thinking
about Columbia being the gem of the
ocean. I conclude that she mas degen-
Grated into a second-class Rhine
stone, and I feel like packing up. alb
sQuatulating. and emigrating to land
where the gyaSticutus gysticutes, the
snaggle-tOothed tigledewug swims in
the swish. and the sozzling swirl of the
slubberly slime and the whangdoole
mourneth his firSt-born.
went into a railroad Office the
other day and asked over what roads
1 could reach St Louis Did the
man behind the counter answer me
in English? No, sir. He shot the
English alphabet at me as if it had
been fired from a blunderbuss
st. Louis" he said. lover the
c.. b & O.: c., R. L & P: A. T. &
S. F.: C. s Al c.: J. * S. W."
/ looked at him in establishment.
DO you want ticket:" he asked
coming back to English.
/ didn't. as / spoke English. and
was not yersed in American. But as
I walked out. he turned to another
clerk and said. ID. H., suppose.
/ rambled over to take an elevated
train to the baseball grounds
is this the elevated" 1 asked of
the man at the gate.
1T is the L." he said, correcting
me-
More American abbreviation,
thought I.
Mind your Ps and Q's," he
shouted, grabbing me by the arm,
and pulling me on the train.
do you like this better than the
cables" asked. drawing the guard
into conversation.
''CabIe, \. G." he answered to my
misery.
Ibid you leave the cable company
voluntarily?"
..No. / sot the G. b"
Abbreviation everywhere. nothing
but the alphabet with a disordered
stomach.
1 dropped over to the baseball
game. Ihave ALWAYS heard that it is
the American National game. I
guess that is true. 1t is impossible,
at least, to understand it with the
English language. / opened the
score book This is what greeted my
eyes: A.: E: P. O.: 81. B.: P. B.; s.
B: B.; A: b; r r on b; II. by
P: Id on E
THEY ALL DO IT.
And this in a country that claims
to speak the English language, I
might as well have been in the vii
lage of Hooperignio in Southern AZ
RIGA watching the native tribe of Big
eonoperas playing game called OBJ
SecutiaticuS
/ fed for the race track, only to
find a worse conglomeration of D p;
CHI g.; q. c.: br. g.: b. e.: Oh. T.: g.;
ch. NJ.
And l had paid my hard silver for
this,
This abbreviation craze is spread
ing everywhere. You will find 1t on
the stage where the actors talk of the
o. p. side and the L l. and the first
L E and the second L E and the
L. O. NJ.
Look at the American societies
Can anybody name them? No, not |
By the English language. They are