Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-01-07

thud of tho setting sun, as the young
man showed no signs of intelligence. =
The Jeweleri' Circular. m
ONE LOAD HE CARRIED ALONE.
Mrs. Mcbride George, dear, when we
were married. only year ago, you said
| should help you to carry your burdens.
McBride-Yes, love.
Mrs. McBride-Thon why didn't you
lot me help you yesterday?
McBrido--I don't understand you,
love.
Mrs. McBride-Why, papa says he
saw you with heavy load on, end you
never let me help you with it.-[Epoch.
THE SAFER WAY.
"What has become of Smart?"
Nobody knows. He robbed bank
and disappeared.
"Gracious. Who would ever have
thought that man would turn burglar?"
ooh, he didn't turn burglar. He
robbed the bank from the inside. He
was president of il. "-[New York Press.
TERMS OF BILLS.
Retail Jeweler--How much time will
you allow me on this bill?
Manufacturer-Thre months.
Retail Jeweler (soliloquizing)-He says
three, he means six, he'll let it go nine,
I'll pay it in q year. (aloud) All right
Jewellers Circular.
RELIEF FOR HIS MIND.
Carolyn Bitters-I suppose, Mr..
| Sleighbells, that you are in thorough
sympathy with the spirit of the Christ
mas holiday?
Charles j. Sleighbells- oh, yes, in
deed, Miss Bitters; do enjoy Christmas.
Carolyn Bitters-What, in your mind,
is the chief charm of the day?
Charles j. Sleighbells / can
secure day off from the Office without
having to tell my employer that another
of my family is dead.
COMMON EXPRESSION.
"Well, 1 never! exclai med Mrs.
Snaggs
"You never what?" asked her hus-
band.
"Here's piece in the paper that says
it is possible to become intoxicated on
rarefied air. Did you ever hear of such
thing?"
"Of course have. The expression
'air-tight obtained its origin from just
that fact. - Pittsburg Chronicle.
ONE WAY TO ASK 1T.
Mr.. Billings -Er-Miss Cooings-
Clara have a question would like to
ask you.
Miss Cooings-Well?
Mr.. Billings you think it would
be good idea if-er-this were the last
Christmas Eve that we come homc sim
gle?-[ Puck.
AsvMsnvnD, INDErD.
ale knows nothing. you say2"
Absolutely nothing. Why, man, he
has such poverty OF mental resources
that when friend has cold he cannot
give him sure cure for it.
HANDICAPPED.
Tom De Witt-Vassar cannot take the
same rank among the colleges as Yale or
| Harvard.
Kitty Winslow-Why not?
Tom De Witt-Weli, for one thing,
she never publishes in the newspapers
the name of her oldest living graduate
Kate Fields Washington.
THAT WAS ALL.
Benevolent Old Gentleman latter dis
pensing Christmas-eve charity to beg
CARL give this because | don't think
you'll spend it at the nearest grog shop.
You haven't the appearance, of drink
ing man.
Beggar-You're right, sir. I'm no
drunkard; I'm burglar in hard luck.
HIS GREAT NEED.
Bearded Stranger you may
not recognize me, but rsago, when
but little child, / li3ed next door, and
one day in my childish romps lost n
button from nv coat; had no mother, as
you know, and shall ever forget,
madam, that you took me in and sewed
another button on for me. All, madam
brushing away tear, through all these
years | have treasured that little button
us sacred relic, and here it is.
Kind Lady-Well, my good man,
what can | do for you now?
Bearded Strarger-All need is IN
other coat. = Clothier and Furnisher.
FOR THE DUST.
Twas for her dust he married,
So he submits with grace,
And neither blinks nor sneezes when
She throws it in his face.
NOT CLOUD" ENOUGH.
"Now isn't that perfect picture of
tho baby?" asked Mrs. Noopop, display
ing q new cabinet photograph.
II mt think it is" replied Noopop,
II don't hear sound. - Harpers
Bazaar.
SCIENTIFIC FORMULA.
Jack-It's pretty hard to guess q
| girls age correctly.
Toni can tell you good way to
find it out.
Jack-How?
Tom-Ask hor, and then add one-third.
| Il Bazaar.
COLOR BLIND.
Bess-George must be getting color
blind.
Jess--What makes you think soi
Bess--He pointed out an acquaintance
with a very roo nose, this morning, and