Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1892-09-01

could pull 10000 pounds?"
His Honor grabbed at the treach-
erous flies that were peram balating
over his head on the place where
the hair once grew, rent his last
Summers coat, and instructed the
Clerk to prefer charges against Of.
ficer Herring.
"My business is not to answer
conundrums, but to try cases. You
can go, but if I can get whack at
you again-well, you wont forget
it,!
Officer Denning steps up to the
office desk at this stage of the per-
formance with case of disorderly
conduct.
"You have heard the charge as
made" said His Honor, "what have
you got to say for YOURSELF"
{ "Well, yer Honor, l was standing
down near angel alley when Third
Party Sam commenced to sing
Mary Ann, my Mary Ann, 1 know you
want my vote"
Well, Judge, he pitched de tune
same as de tune of tMy Maryland.'
Well, yer know, Jud dge. data my
home; I'm from Maryland, see! Sez I
to him, SCI /: Take dat tune
down. No such song as dat can't
be placed long side of first class
songs. No sir, Judge, Maryland
can't stand by and be slandered even
in North Carolina. He said he'd be
Butlered # he did,so l Cleveland (ed)
him on the upper lip and l CARRIED
him back-dats de facts; 80 here is
In pusson to answer to de charge"
81 can't blame you much, but you
have no right to take the law in
your own hands. You can pay
fine of $1.00 and cost
The money was promptly made up
by the audience present and the
Maryland defender marched out, and
all was rs quiet in Trlbulation Hall
rs the closing exercises of a certain
William street school.
81 do not know what is getting into
the people," remarked His Honor,
as he glanced at the Docket and saw
the number of complaints that hao
been entered. "Well, business is bus
iness, and if we don't have time
enough in the day we will hold extra
sessions of a night"
The clerk was instructed to call
the first case, and officer Head
proudly steps to the front and
prisoner also gracefully
stood up and strikes an attitude that
almost paralyzed the Court.
"You are charged with loafing on
the streets and being without visible
means of support. What have you
to say"?
ether charge is untrue, Judge,
don't cher know -"
"Now hold on, if you want to
plead your own case you must come
down from that Pitch.
"Thanks, Judge.
"My name is Wouncil Cooten, and
[ am a record maker.
"You're what ?"
"Record maker. Why [ write
for the papers and boom up candi-
1ates".
"Oh yes, l see; go on.
"Well, | heard that in this county
here were several men that had not
been put up for Office before, so
thought it was good place to emf
crate to, SO I come.
"Young man, don't you know that
you don't often get much from late
setting but add-led eggs? You
can go'.
Next case-A midsummer tramp.
"Great Scott" remarked His Hon
u as he sas aghast and gazed at the
first tramp of the summer, sswhere,
where, what for; for gracious sake,
where did You come from and when
lid you get in? Why you are the
lirtiest, raggedest, stiukingest vaga-
bond ever sawv'
81 guess you are right, boss, the
Mayor of Wilson expressed himself
n about the same way" he said.
'My story is a short one.. Only a
few short, bright sunny days ago,
mid tears of grief I died."
"Hold up a minute; no poetry so
Early in the season, it may hsye
pulled you through up at Wilson,
but it won't go in this court"
Swell, Judge, the Chairman of
the National Democratic :com. was
heard to make a remark one day that
the Third party did not have a |
prominent representative in the field
in North Carolina; thinking I would
gil the bill from what l had heard
about them l took the job. That's
what lam, that's why I'm here a
living true cartoon Of that party.
Officers Denning and Herring
were instructed to show the repre-
of the third party the way
put of Wayne county. The small
boy in the audience,in the meantime,
had got il his work. As the tramp
passed out, from the folds of his
ragged coat there hung a card:
It never came back, it never came back,
The Third party is dead from to-day.
His Honor glanced at the card,
smiled, and remarked to the Clerk
"that the small boy must haYe at
tended the speaking on Saturday
and heard Jarvis" Other cases Of
small importance were disposed of.
Is The Chief was Instructed TO have
Tibulation hall nmigated and court
closed. the audience passed ont. the