The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1892-10-20
Some sharp Sayings.

Some sharp Sayings.
TIE mother tongue is probably the
language of MarS.-Yonkcrs States
man.
CONTESTANTS in the running races
at the fair should prepare by takinga
bottle Of catchup. Lowell Courier.
The man who was ton full for ut
tcrancc went TO Jail instead OF going
to the fight. New Orleans Picayune.
"GET"rING ahead" in the liquor
traffic isn't always to he interpreted
as an assurance of progress. Boston
Courier.
THE hot spell OF summer is known
as the dog days because it is too warm
then to make sausage. ".--EIaZleton
Sentinel.
SO MANY people go around looking
as though they had a piece Of Linn
burger cheese under their noses.-
AtchiSon Globe.
WHY not make the cactus tho ma
tiona! flower? It has more fine points
than any other yet mcntioncd.-Ch
cago Inter Ocean.
JUDGING vi SOUND. .-phwat's thot
noise, Mis- Mulla!y?. Mary AIMS
practisn the scales" "Begorrah,
she must weigh Il ton. Judge.
TUE self-closing door-spring is IN
awful aggrayation to the man who is
going ont OF your Office mad and
wants to slam the door.
| GowirT What. you broke. Brolly.
| thought you had Il snug sum in the
bank for a rainy day. Brol|y-So l
had, hut it raincd on the bank. -
Puck.
| Il HEAR HarkinS was struck by
lightning down on the Jersey coast
last week" Yes" Il wonder what
they charged him for il. .'-IIarpcr's
BaZar.
TRoTIIEr-"Y look sad" Barlow
L am. l took my best girl to
church and put 81 in the plate in
order to impress her and she never
saw it. New York Herald.
II THINK,' said the man who saw
the distortions Of his ready-madc
clothes reflected in mirror. that
this would unqucstionahly bc Il suit
for libel. "-Washington Star.
WILLIE wanted to drive the horses.
You can't drive said his father.
Yes. | can too" insisted Willie.
Mamma says drive her crazy most
every day."-Derroit Free Press.
DocToR-''Do not expose yourself
to heavy dcws of the night air while
in the country. my dear Daughter
--"Why. pa, where did you learn SO
much about bang>:'-New York
Weekly.
4 REASONABLE REQUEST.
Son Mamma. me wants pants.
Mamma-My ret is too little yet.
Wee Son-Well. me l!nks me might
have >'pendcrs to my dwess, anyhow.
Good News.
WE must attack this trouble
promptly" said the physician. "Ics.
replied the patient, who had just
taken Il dose of medicine. but | wish
you could he a little less bitter i'm
your attacks. ."-Washington Star.
The Boston girl never hollcrs
"hello" at the mouth Of the telephone.
She simply says, as she puts the re-
cciycr to her ear: Il take the lihcr-
ty OF addressing you via a wire sur
charged with electricity. Texas
, Siftings.
THAT beats me-" said good Mrs.
Jason. as she read that a fire was
supposed to have been caused by
"mice eating matches "l've heard
!, of pie-eating matches and sich. but
; | this is a new one. c."--Indianapoli>
. Journal.
GRANDEUR OF TIE MIDDLE NAME.
Happy the young woman nowadays
who has middle name with sona-
rous sound. Susan c. Nipper look,
; commonplace. but Susan Cholmondely
Nippcr is too fine for anything
e Boston Transcript.
Il WOULDN'T care to be Lawyer
Browne on Judgment Day. He'll be
/, in the soup." NO, he won't
Brownies smart. He'll get an ad.
a iournment of his case To next day,
< and then there won't be any mex,
: day" Brooklyn Life.
"WnY." inquired Slug 1l44. "is the
i letter * like IN unpaid wash bili?'
: as this one of those new progressive
i fakcs?" suspiciously asked Slug Ill.
4 Nav. An unpaid wash bill is like
: the letter - because it might make
asprinter OF printer. '-lndianapoli:
Journal.
HrsBAND-"Well. how is my wife
progressing?' Doctor-"IIum. moth
ing dangerous. think il prescribe
four weeks at Wicsbaden she will bt
all right. But il you excite her TEN
per through opposition. it might
easily run to eight weeks at the sea
side --"Eulcnspiegel.
DELIA-Can't you go down shop
ping with me this afternoon? Ivan
to get my husband birthday gift
Esther-Yes: what arc yoI going t.
get him? Delia--W:ll. have beer
thinking about it for some time, ant
= | think l need table linen and rug
! more than anything. ng.--ChicagO Inte
Ocean.
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