Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1892-03-01
SMILES.
Cribbed or Adapted from Exchanged
A tight place-the saloon.

single h-iress.
Doubleup = Paris ia a delightful
place. spent several weeks there
with my WITHDRAWING city, really.
Singleby-Ah, but you can't imag
inc how much more delightful place
it is when you are there without your
wife.
Teacher - Now, what beast can
carry the heaviest load!
Small Boy-A Kelley graduate.
Chol'y-I was thinking of visiting
that mind reader. Do you know
what his terms are?
nicus-No, but don't think he
will charge you very much.
Rinktum-I hear you went into
business, putting in your capital
against Jones experience?
Cutecuss--Yes
Rinktum-Now you have the ex
perience and he the capital.
Cu.ecuss-Oh, no; I've got them
both. secured his wife with alimony,
and married her.
Peckson-What sympathetic eyes
Miss Wiley has! They seem to draw
one so.
Rockson-Yes, they drew me into
Del's the other night, and had to
draw check to get out.
Mo,h4r-My dear, do you know
wherein virtue hes?
Daueht Yes; when it tells a
rich old man that it loves him!
Rickson TO debutante at the Come
out halD-Are you engaged, Miss
Withers?
Debutante (shyl, Mo-; but tit
must be just-just lovely!
Rounder-What are you so sad
about?
Mr.. Kelley Kure-l'm just think
ing how my system Is full Of gold and
| can't realize the price OF drink OIL
it.
He said divorce WINS such disgrace,
And his family was awfully tony.
But t.wasn't 50 much the Disgrace that he
feared
AS 1t was the al mony
DE Botch-O!d Soak began yelling
"Wow! wo~!" right in the midst oI
y the performance ut the Casino last
e night.
. S,llybub - What was the matter
q with him?
:, DE Botch--When he saw the ser
. pen'ine dance he thought he had 'eu
again.
IN SIOUX FALLS
Judge, there are five OF US brother
aud three sisters, all of family, ant
all in the same boat. Can YOU maxi
discount for jnb lot? If you will
rs we'll bunch our applications and jack
pot the almonies.
\ KILLING TIME.
Hearts beating to the sleigh.hclls chime.
ID may be wrong in saying it.,
But don't call It KILLING time,
Df When Nell aid are sLEIGHiNG-T.
~ BIBLICAL
Are wives a real treasure? Hew foolish questio,
70 Yet uany to whom it is given,
:; viii wish they could follow the Bibles suggestio
Is And lay up their treasures in Heaven.
D. WHAT THEY THINK.
'e An exchange says one third OF til
IN fools Of tho country think they ca
D beat the doctor in healing the sick
* one. half Of them think they can bea
lie the lawyer in expounding the law
in two thirds of them think they ca
ID beat the minister preaching the gos
ic pei, aud all of them know they ca
IS. beat the editor running newspaper
!" The fellow just out OF the lookup
the fellow who thoroughly enjoys til
"freedom of the city.
10 "Does your wife pull your ties
g asked jerks. "No," replied Breeze,
n. "but she frequently raises my choler
:. :. 1t is funny about the policeman
- the tougher the characters that g
with him, the more highly we esteel
him.
Hurly-Why Rave you got tn,
sign on your door, "Please leave Il
n door open," on such cold day as ,hi.
ct Burly-.So that people will shut
m On West Shore train: Brak,
is man-uaverstraw!
An Man with~the. totte - No, flank
I'm THIS will do. It's all gone now, an,
20 way.
- e Mrs. Wilkins-Miss Forsythe has
=. new encyclopedia.
.. Mrs. Jonss--Poor thing! She ha
a. several before. Is this one on h,
" n. ok like the others were?
First clerk am going in to striA
the old man for raise.
Second clerk ten minutes later
n Well, did he raise you?
!, First clerk--I should say so! Diin
No you see me come through that doo
nj IN CHICAGO.
Mrs. Pork chops-Ar,hur, receive
nnntk.r