Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1892-04-20
HANDsHAklNe AS AN ART.

DEMONSTRATING AS AN ART.
An Eminent Authority Who Saws We
Know Next to Nothing About 1t.
There is nothing which so harrows
the sensitive soul of my friend the pro-
fessor-''professor of music, etiquette
and dancing"-writes correspondent
as the way we ordinary Americans
shake hands. He says it is rude and
boorish and collateral evidence of mans
ascent from the lower animals. In our
case he thinks the ascent has not
reached much above the second rung
OF the ladder, nor shall we ever get any
higher until we learn how to use our
hands.
shall not dispute such an eminent
authority. for he tells me he has stud
led the subject in the royal courts of
Europe, where he has often been an
honored guest, and therefore knowns
whereof he affirms. On the contrary,
in the meek and lowly spirit in which
we learn Of our defects from the crit
ical stranger within our gates, tram
scribe the professors observations for
the benefit of our untaught country
men.
In the first place. the professor saws.
we have no style about our hand shaL-
Ing, but do it in a dull, unthinking
way, as If it were any ordinary pro-
ceeding, whereas he says it should be
governed by strict rules Of procedure
and be made a sort of poem of action.
30 to speak.
All the methods Of handshake prac-
ticsd by the denizsns of the metropolis
this careful observer has classified and
named after their proper genus, and
the most OF them, candor obliges him
to say, are very. very bad. Those which
escape MS condemnation are the habits
employed by a few travelled persons.
familiar, very likely. with the way
Wales himself does these, and the pu-
pills OF the professor himself. Which is
not very strange.
The best of all handshakes is known
as 1.-The latest English" and is done bv
rule after this fashion:
In advancing to shake hands the BODY
should be held as stiff as possible, but
inclined forward, the walking being
done chiefly by hip, and must
De held out at the ankle Joints.
Inc arms sides in such way
as to form a triangle with the
body, the hands being held limp and
fabby like a pair of dead fish. In this
way stride forward in a. somewhat
threatening manner and stare hard at
the other man. At the distance of
three feet stop suddenly, grab the
other mans hand with jerk, raise il
TO the level OF the scarf-pin and yank il
| downward twice. At the same time
grunt-not to any purpose, but Just
| grunt. After that retire and stare hard.
The second commendable method in
called the Central Park and is q
| thing sof beauty much affected by tho
adorable young gentlemen who wear
bag overcoats and frequent the stage
doors of theaters. 1t is a modification
OF the latest English, accompanied by
q slight kicking of the left heel and a
sharp downward jerking of the head.
The jerk brings up a pectoral How er
yerP" which is greeting enough for any
man.
'They do these things even better in
France" as old Sterne says. The true
French method, also much bepraised
OF etiquette professors is to advance
with arms held out stif3y, something
like prize-fghters guard. Then. in a
| clammy sort of way, each man seizes
| the others fingers, and the hands being
| elevated to the eyes and the elbows
slightly crooked, two fips are given.
| and the thing is done.
Aside from these methods, all that
the professor sees is sheer barbarian.
as ne was good enough to point out the
other night at certain popular assem-
blage. In his judgment the handshake
was so characteristic of the man that
he could tell from seeing it from lust
what province in this benigbted land
hailed the shaker or his ancestry.
The old New Yorker shake. as he
proceeded to show, consisted in Ian
guidly extending passive hand to be
shaken at the others pleasure, the Of
fering being made as q concession to am
unreasonable habit and without appar.
ent faith or interest in it's efficacy. The
hand il not in any case lifted above the
pocket, but is merely delivered over as
loan OF something for which the owner
has no use. This 10 criticised as nor
being the best form, but much better
than other methods in vogue among the
careless
The Boston method, according to the
same authority, is a sticking out of a
hand as straight and fat as a board.
the thumb being held stiffiy upward
ike the hammer of q gun. This being
slid along by the side of another hand
as stiH and wooden, there epsues three
or four mechanical up and down move
ments hinged at the elbow. The hands
are then dropped like pieces of ice.
The southernsr takes your hand in
his IN confidential sort of way. exerts
gentle pressure. maDipulates his
whole arm with q show of enthusiasm.
and ends with final little shake from
side TO side as an earnest of his good
will and appreciation. But if man
grabs you hard by your haad until
your fingers ache, and osciilates your
arm up and down With sundry jerks
from the shoulder joint, know him as a
woolly westerner, and henceforth avoid
him. II will save you many a pang.
SO firmly fxed are these local charac-
teristics that the professor says they
descend from generation to generation,
and a man whose father and grand
father were born in New York will
greet you after the New England
methods IL his forefathers were YAM
kees.-N. Y. Herald
--,y ~.snU years ago young Irish
girl of Downpatrick refused TO marry
and accompany her ianee to New Zea-
land, for the reason that she could not