River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-07-21
TALKS TO MOTHERS,
IVA FRETTING MOTHER.
(oopyright by Cambridge Literary Bureau al
D.asa
BY ONE OF THEM.

IVA FRETTING MOTHER.
Copyright by Cambridge Literary Bureau and
Press. 1892
Fretting about trifies is one of the
worst habits a mother can indulge in,
md also one of the hardest to over
come. 1t is-iike many other vices-a
virtue carried too far. To take deep
interest in the affairs of her family and
do her best TO make them perfect is
praiseworthy; TO fret over their short
comings, and to nag them into the way
they should go, is fault to be corrected
by the most earnest effort.
A habit-bad or good-g rows by in
diligence, and not only the children and
the husband, but any others unfortun-
ate enough to belong to the house old
Of fretter, get constant little pin
pricks of orders and fault findings
that are utterly maddening and de-
structive of home comfort
Most uncomfortable is visitor in
such a home. She is forced TO see the
children reproved, perhaps for some
negligence towards herself: "What do
you suppose Mrs. A. will think of you, I"
says the mother, severely, IF you for
get TO say good morning TO herr She
isn't used TO seeing little boys forget their
mannersr Even the husband may be
snubbed for some trife. an awkward
speech, or thoughtless deed, thus morti-
flying him. and embarrassing the guest,
who is made bugaboo to the whole
family, till she is uncomfortable and
hastens to get away.
Says Helps: The worst kind of tenn
pers are established in the fretting
care for trifies." He might have added
that it worries one into disease, and
brings age before its time Can there
be a sight more pitiful than a woman
in the meridian of life, with a sharp,
fretful face, and worried, strained
voice, left, as she is certain to be, to a
| loveless, brolSen-down age?
have sometimes thought, when look
ing upon the beautiful serenity which
settles over the face OF the dead, so
soon as the petty cares which have
shaped il in life are withdrawn, how
| great Is our mistake that we do not
cease worrying over trifes and bless
our friends with lovely restfulness,
helpful and comforting beyond words
II the fretting mother could get a
broader outlook upon life and her re-
lation to her children, and realize the
absolute unimportance of the things
she magnlfies into serious faults, she
would be startled. What matter il
Johnny does soil his hands or forge
his manners? What eternal wrong is
done If Mary does tear her dress or
forget her lessons? The worst possible
result of either cannot compare with
the cultivation of bitter feelings. Can
one heal the wounds made by a sharp
tongue so readily as she can take up
the stitches in torn garment?
There is another point which mothers
are apt to overlook. 1t Is not a moth
er's business to make child this way
or that, according to a pattern she sets
up The child is an individual soul as
well as herself, and has God-given
right to develop in his own way. The
obligation of parent is to guide and
direct not TO force to teach the care of
the body and, so far as she can, to train
In right ways of thinking, and pure and
! healthful tastes.
The effect upon a child of fretting and
naGging is lamentable. very bad
and very common result is want of re-
spect for the mother-a fatal loss to a
son. II choice must be made between
respect and love, 1t is far better for his
own sake, that the boy, and conse-
quently the man, should respect than
love his mother, and through her all
womanhood.
A lesson early learned by the chill
dren of fretter, is deceit. Don't tell
mother, she'll make such fuss about
| IT," is the first thought in any accident or
trouble. From concealing, they easily
learn to falsify, in order to avoid the
dreaded tongue. Often a whole house.
hold will combine-co or not
in deceit, and not only accidents and
mishaps, but plans for the future, and
hopes, as well as fears, will be care
fully hidden from the one who should
be the confidant OF all.
This training strikes deeply into the
lives of both daughters and sons. The
boy grows hard, and when concealment
and falsehood no longer shield him, he
takes refuge in a rough assertion OF
himself, and a general bumptiousness
liable to lead him astray, II not indeed
into vagabondism and crime.
The daughter is apt to take fight,
when the constant annoyance becomes
unbeara BILE; no one can blame her for
preferring the half-starved life of a
sewing girl, or even a marriage which
promises, however faintly-a measure
of freedom.
Nor does the result of this unpless-
ant habit end with the family. We
could hardly endure to know how the
influence of our smallest act extends
in overwhelming circles, like rings in
still water around fallen pebble; but
little thought about it may shock
doing. A husband and children sent
out from home, irritated, set cross
grained by her. becomes each one a
center, radiating fretfulness, impa-
thence and general discomfort upon all
with whom they have to deal, in office,
shop or school.
The fretting habit is not incurable.
II one sees her fault and takes her.
self seriously in hand it is never toe
late to begin. The first step is to
realize the wrong and firmly resolve 10
end it; and the second to keep con-
stautly before herself something to re-
mind her of the work she has to do. A
Bible text, of which many that are
suitable may be found, will be the best
check for some persons, while others
will respond more readily to bit OF
verse that they can carry always in the
heart. Something should be done, and
that right speedily, by the slave of this
habit if she would avoid remorseful
age and an unhonored grave.
OLIVE THoRSE MILLER.
To Keep ships Ahoat.
1t is proposed to cover the surface oil
the sea around an endangered vesse
with thin cotton or silSen net, rem
dered msubmersible and ever floating