Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-12-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

puG-up JUL lCklcS.- uCk.
The stock exchange-A horse trade
Washington Star.
A cereal tale-The story of a wheat
deal.-New York Journal
very hungry person never relishes
cold facts. Chicago News.
Bread cast upon the water is supposed
to be in soak.-Dallas News.
Some men are insulted by money, and
others pocket the insult. Truth.
1t rather puts belle on her mettlc
when she is extolled.
The scarecrow has its uses, though it
doesn't aid the caws any.-Elmira Ga
zette.
A peculiarly of certain cranks is that
they can't be turned. .-Philadelphia
Times.
1t looks as if Yale's Greek letter socie-
Boston Herald.
The coming man will probably walk
on one foot and kick with the other
Elmira Gazette.
Unyielding self-possession prevents
many man from giving himself away.
-Elmira Gazette.
The fortunes of war seem to be accu-
mulated principally by the gun makers.
Washington Star.
When barber talks too much his
stories are generally illustrated with
cuts.-Texas Siftings.
Unfagging interest has made many
fortune and wrecked many railroad
train. .-Rlmira Gazette.
Oh. hail election day and give
The gratitude we owe it.
1t finishes the labor of
The eager campaign poet.
Washington Star.
ssHe is an artist by profession. az
know that; but what is he by occupa-
tion2"-Washington Star.
Flamme-''What do you do to cure
the blues2" Flamme = "Paint every
thing red. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Gan men have their ups and downs"
eyes, even the tallest of us get short at
times. Philadelphia Record.
"He has high idea of art, think"
~ should say SO. He wants $4,000 for
picture. Washington Star.
''Isn't it funny that lady can cut
gentleman dead without fear of being
arrested. ."-Philadep phia Record.
Always credit wise man with what
he does not say, and charge the tooPs
words up to him-Galveston News.
"Do you fear depression in business
as the result of the election2" "No, sir;
am halter. w sshington Star.
"There is always room at the top"
but you had better carry up with you
big basket of victuals. s.-Galveston News.
Little drops of water
Brought with dynamite
Are not compensation
For q sleepiess night.
Washington Star.
What does it profit a man to drink to
drive away troubled He simply ex'
changes ore load for another.-States
man.
The baggageman has big contract on
bis hands when he undertakes to check
the cry of baby on his train.-States.
man.
On her cheeks there were roses, roses,
But now, aas they'r not there,
The gaslight but dimly discloses
They rubbed off on the parlor arm chair.
Chicago News Record.
Mrs. Bridie-s'How much is your in
come, Charlie2" Mr.. Bridie-"You
ought to know, you spend it all, my
dear. Brooklyn Life.
swell, never got off anything that
tickled me more than that" remarked
the dog as he flicked the flea from his
left ear.-Elmira Gazette.
Bertie-"Why did you buy this pic
turel 1t is only flight of sparrows.'
Algie-"Wny. they are very English,
don't you know, deah boy. Inter
Ocean.
Women appear to have decided ad.
vantage over men in literary pursuit in
the fact that lopg hair is simply nor
NAL circumstance with them. Washing
ton Star.
Lady Friend Ito Mrs. Newlywed)-
"Well, how do you like your tiat2" Mrs.
Newlywed-"Which do you mean; the
one married or the one | live ina"-
Tit-Bits.
Each morn a sanity resolution strong.
He feels wit lin him rise.
Each eve ere midnight strikes her gong.
That resolution dies.
Chicago News Record.
This is the way she wound up her let
ter: P. S.--If this letter never reaches
you, you will know that it is not my
fault, as | shall give it to my husband to
mail.-MinDeapolis Journal.
sis football gambling gamea'
Rusher-" "Well, Dodger lost S25 in
gold yesterday" Why didn't he
leave it at home2" "He couldn't; it
was in his teeth Inter Ocean.
Mrs. Sehuvlevant-"My son is regu-
lar Bohemian. Mrs. Harlem Phlats--
"Oh, pshaw, now don't be putin on.
You know he was born right here in
New York. Chicago News Record.