The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-03-12
BRIGHT BITS.

"ONE OF the greatest triumphs Of dramatic
realisms, remarks Footligats, lis tbs reaIiza-
ton of ones salRryl"-Entck
THE YoUrH-I love you fondly.
The Boston Girl-Let me feel your pulse
You do not object to my making q scientific
analysis, do youg-Puck.
WHAT is the hardest part of joke-writiug,
WhittixY'
Punctuation. That's the reason go many
jokes lack points "-Ep0ch.
EVER notice how naturally military men
drift into speculation
20, yes. Take our old friend, Col. Lateral,
for instance. "-[adiandpohs Journal
DoLLY-o, mamma, met q little girl to- day
who had never heard OF a COW.
Dolly's Mother-That was strange wasn't IL,
Who was the little girl, Dolly?
Doly-She said her father was a milkman
Life.
YOUNG GENTLEMAN drops on his knees at the
feet of a lady)-My dear Miss K, our re-
spective fathers having come to terms on the
money question, now venture to inform you
that | love you to distraction l-Saphirs
Witzbldtt.
CUMso Old Soak had terrible fall last night
and was taken home insensible.
Bumso- What did his poor wife say when he
Cumso-She simply said: Chestnut. "-Ne,U
York Herald.
FRIEND-I see you are still giving large sums
60 charity. II you keep on much longer YOU
will have nothing to leave Co your relatives.
Rich Man lwho is weary of reading about will
contests( They can apply to the charities, you
know.-Neto York Weekly.
1T ASK for no retention fee,'
Quoth Counselor O'Quirk
mo money sir, unless II be
Reward for honest work"
He tried the case and won the same.
And when 1t did befall
thousand for his client came,
He just retained it ALL
Boston Courier.
WHATS the matter, Parkers You look
blue"
lam. asked Miss Morrison to be my wife ="
"Ah Rejected?"
her mother rejected me herself last September
at Narragansett. "-HnTper's Bazaar.
VIslToR-I understood that the public schools
of this city are models of ninteenth century
progress.
Little Boy-Yes'm. that's wot every one says.
l 20 to 'em,
What do you study?"
20. everything-free-'and drawing an
cookin, an bacteriology, an music. an spect-
rum analysis. an sewin' on buttons an agri-
cultural chemistry an dishwashin' an every
thing sect Dc Smiths Good NelUs.
DORIS ON BOWLING (after long explanation)
%, yes! see it all now. You roll three balls:
and if you don't roll three balls, a1d only roll
Two Oalls or one ball, and get the pins all down.
you have ball to spare, so i. is called strike:
and then when you come to the next frame.
and only roll one ball instead of three balls all
the pins you get on the second ball the third
time are counted in with the pins you got in the
first frame il you didn't roll more than two
balls, and then you add it all up together be-
tween times. o, yes it's awfully easy after
you understand it, Not SO stupid as / seemed,
am 1?-HdiDeT's 6dzdr.
Mrs. GRusPs-You remember the last time
you drank too much, and was awfully sick,
you put all your money in my name, and made
me promise that if you ever took another drink
| I'd put you right under the Kelley cure.
Mr.. Gumps-Yes. my dear
We'll, you were drinking again yesterday,
and so went right down TO Catchem & Cheat
ems and invested the money In Kelley g
stock"
stock"
Yes, Keeley's motor stock. you know They
| said all you had to do not was to take another
| drink till the motor began to mote, and you'd
| be cured "-Neto York Weekly.