Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1892-10-21

shows that the half is better than
the hole. -Boston Transcript.
LADy-"I wish to get Il birthday
present for my husband" Clerk
"Ilow long married." Lady-"Tcn
years" Eicrk-"Bargaim counter. Ia
the tight. New York Weekly.
"l'M going TO get IL hair cut this
afternoon 'You'd better get sew
crai." Several hair cuts::" NO: sew.
cral hairs cut. Puck.
"DEAH FATHER: We are we'll and
happy. The baby has grown ever so
much. and has Il great deal more sense
than he used to have. Hoping the
am of YOU. l remain your daughter,
Molly. '-TcNas S%hiftings.
JAcN--What are you feeling SO blue
about: Toni got into tho habit of
kissing lmogcn whenever she got
angry at me. Jack-Yes? Tom-And
now her temper is completely ruined.
New York Herald.
THE style of writing that you do
must he very hard work" Herbert
Well, it is; but what made you
think of it," Gladys - Why it
makes mo tired to read it. "-ChicagO
Inter Ocean.
Mrs. VAN LEEvER-"Didn't you
once say that it was cheaper to nov
than to pay rcnt?:" Van Lever (du-
biouslD-"Yes: but / was younger
then. Now I'm convinced that it's
cheapest of all to burn out and get
your insurancc.'-Broooklyn Life.
MH. SMITH Ito Mrs. Parveuu, who
has been telling him about her new
house)-I suppose you will have
duml-waitcrs i'm the house? Mrs. p.
No, l shan't. l had Il deaf cook
once. and l vowed then never to have
another crippled scrvant.-Brooklyn
Life.
FARMERS b~oy-There's going to be
a minstrel show in Pinktown next
week. Can L Old Hayseed-Gee
Whitaker. 1t amt been a month
scncc you went to the top O. tn hill
to see the Eclipse of TIN moon. D'yuh
wantcr always be on tn go?-Guod
News.
WArrs-"I usually manage to swal-
low most of these newspaper stories,
but when they tell of an Indian in
New Mexico digging his way out of
Jail with two toOthpicks, | weaken"
Potts-'I guess you never saw a New
Mexico toothpick." - indianapolis
Journal.
THREE different waitcrsat Il South
ern hotel asked a little, prim, precise
Harvard professional at dinner, in
quick succession, if he would have
soup. a little annoyed, he said to
the last waiter who asked: "Is it
compulsory?:" mo, sah," answered
friend and brother, "no, sab, l
think it am mock-turtle."
HARD AND EASY L1vEs.-Little
grizzly papa has to get up awful
carly, SO us to get to the office and
see if his clerks is there attendin' to
business. Little boy-My papa don't
have to. He's one of the Clerks
Good News.
COUNTRY BOOKSELLER Ito miner
who has previously invested in a die
'tionary)-'Oh, you must look among
the SIS for scissors. not the Z's."
SWELL, how's Oh to know? Wot's t.
good of a dictionary without a him
dex?:"-Tid Bits.
TIE story is told of an eminent
divine and his bright boy that is not
devoid of instructiveness. The father
had a way of saying to his son when
leaving home: Remember whose boy
you are" The lad one day turned
the tables by calling out to his father:
"Good-by, papa; remember whose
father you arc."-New York Ex-
aminer.
LADY Ito servant)-Matilda, have
you watered the flowers? Matilda
Snowball-Yes. mum. done watered
'em morc'n two weeks ago.-Texas
Siftings.
Miss MCLEAN Tourist from Boston)
-"It's strange that the Sphinx keeps
silent in the face of the remarks of
these vulgar people," Mr.. Bacon
ditto, from Chicago)-"It wouldn't,
| reckon, if it didn't have lots O,
sand. Smith. Gray 4 Co.'S Monthly.
II TELL you," he said disconsolate.
'ly. women arc altogether too busi-
'ness-like nowadays" whats the
matter" II proposed to the hciyess
yesterday" "Did she accept you?"
mo; she took out her notebook, wrote
my name and address i'm it and said
she would consider my application. -
Washington Star.
MIR. VAN AsToR (settling his hotel
bill at Barboransett Picr)-"I say,
landlord, l don't object generally to
bills, but some of these items are out
rageous. What's that SO for on the
1Oth?" The Landlord with Dignity
-.You forget, sir, that on that day
we had your valise moved at your re-
quest from one side of your room to
the other. Chicago News Record.
WHAT'S all this dust on those
wheels that were left in the carriage
house last night?:" the Bridgeport
man asked of his hired girl, who held
the lamp for him while he unhar-
messed the horse. sSure, sir, it's the
insect POWDER" sInsect thunder!
What's that for?:" aAnd didn't the
vno~ ,r,ho h~o,,rhks kl>- -