davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1892-11-18
AUCTIONEER.
l.. III. SIIIPMAN

Is ready al any and all times to cry auction
haes III iowa and Lafayette counties Perfect
satisfaction guaranteed. Good references given
If required. All communications by mail
promptly attended to. Post Office address,
Waldwick Wis 14m3
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

vines. The damage did not extenC
over mile in any direction, but Tho
stones were as large as hulled walnut,
and hickory nuts, and rolled up intC
Deds three or four inches deep.
LHther Robbins, re siding near Sprinp
Mills, on Saturday commenced bIowe
ing In his wheat field, that the hail SO
badly damaged, running eight plows,
and on Monday fourteen blows and
four corn planters, and finished plant
ing thirty acres on Tuesday.
An Interesting case was heard before
Squire Jester on Friday of last week
being the suit of John Moore vs. the
CoOpers of CheswOld, fruit shippers
Tor excess of freight on peaches Last
year; The number of baskets of
peaches shipped was agreed upon. 800.
ana upon this amount the freight
charged was II cents a basket. when
In fact it should only have been ID
cents, taking full car at the contract
price as a basis. There was also a
claim for three per cent rebate. that
was alleged to have been quasi agreed
on, but against this charge for nm
Loading cars at the Jersey CITY end. of
90 per car was brought as an offset
Moore recovered judgement for
S39. .40.-SentineL
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
LOVE AND WET WEATHER.

0 A lady who dwells in the cOuntr
mas this tale to tell concerning the wa
: IN which one of her domestics entere,
: tne Kingdom of wed, and it is worthy
} OF record as one of the varieties whicl
Is at least amusing.
| One day the girl informed her mis-
tress that she was going to be married
one mad secured a farmer. and th,
time Le OF the wedding was close at
You see, we are calculating to gel
married next Wednesday, if it ain't
zoo pleasant" the prospective bride
explained.
Too pleasant" echoed her mis-
tTess Il should think you would like
Che weather to be pleasant"
oh, that's all right" the girl res
ponded, with an easy air. You see. if
its a good day he will have to stav at
nome and attend to the hay, but if it
isn't, he's coming into town and we'll
get married"
But if it is pleasant and he don't
come, what then ?" inquired the mis-
tress.
"Oh, if it's pleasant Wednesday
nnar
day." amy
Wednesday came, and a fairer dav
nao never been seen, and of course
theTe was no bridegroom.
The girl took it very kindly. and
came to ask if she might have a loaf of
wedding cake made in the kitchen. as
Chere seemed to be plenty of time. The
nllstress gave her consent, and the
COOK good-naturedly set to work and
manufactured the confection.
Thursday also was fair. but Friday
was rainy. All day the girl waited for
her lover, but the unreliable swain did
not come. O'U
Saturday the experience was re-
peated and on Saturday night the de.
serted damsel declared that she had
no hope. '''0 '''u
We might as we'll eat the wedding
cake" she announced. with the Avi7
dent intention of making the hest of
the situation. There amt no chance
ol d wedding, as l can see, and we
of it," =" o'n ouC
So the domestics, nothing Ioath. set
70 work, and with much testing de.
the loaf of cake, with what re.
suit to their digestion has not been
"oe"
And 10 on Sunday afternoon the
lover arrived. He casually
'tated that he found a lot of thinos
Iround the barn that needed to be AZ.
ehded to on the two rainy DAYS. and
ma tnat be had concluded. on tbe
'hoIe, that the bride would keen-a
way OF putting it which would have q
osU ms chances were it not that in the {
4raI q districts husbands are not as 1
'lenty as blackberries. +
The bride went in to say good bve to a
er mistress, and explained her views s
Ine situation with charming frank il
Now he's here, think I'd better I
"a axe :, sure OF him and marry him right Ii
u she said. He is a good, likely Il
Ian' ana he's got a good farm, and he a
"a SO over-anxlous to get married d
onow that it's likely he'll ever come h
iGk tSs II don't go with him nown 81
mere was no time for more weddino ia
IKE, ana that was dispensed with to
20 pair went of to clergyman and
ere married. What will be Their tv
lure course no man knoweth hut of
e lormer mistress has now a nav IN
Dry wherewith to enliven her calls m
ION friends. and there is a vacancv m,
neI sCaH OF servants which in the vi
U"siy Is matter of serious import ch
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

We're not waiting for the bats apt
moles but for men and women WIN
nave eyes and use them, who have
Drains and reason There's a new
world for them-suffering and sicklv
as tney area new world created from
the brain of a skillful physician-a die.
eovery-the Golden Medical Discov.
ery." '30o''
Years ago DIR. Pierce found out that
the secret of all scrofula. bronchial
throat and lung trouble lawn the
beginring at least-in impure blood
and the weak tone of the system thai
the way to cure these effects was 10
remove the cause, that human nature
being the same, the same results miSbt
be looked for in every case. So conf.
dent was he that exceptions were nm.
common that he took the risk of civ.
ing the medicine to those it didn't ben
eiit for nothing, and the results have
proved that he was right.
Golden Medical Discovery is tha
remedy for the Million The onIv
guaranteed Liver, Blood and LnnS
help you. = N''Sn
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
We Cannot Tell.

fernaps before the dawn's dim hours comr,o,o
asN a sWlIt and sudden voice may cali us hence
hehee from this word in other world's 10 d,y,or
We cannot tell
Fernaps before the quiet stars arise
An 4 N9 Unexpected night may meet our ewes
a Nisn' Ten thousand suns cannot dispel-
We cannot tell!
Ti.h TTeit.hhaps before an hour is sped awav.
NJ mioh awed, hushed tones our fellow men will saw
Inc spirit has escaped the earthly SHELF "a 0"S
We cannot tell
Oh, friends, behoOves it not our souls to ho
Ready at all times for eternitv W NC
since when for us may ring The nassino boi
We cannot tell
SUSIE NJ BFsT
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
As Cool as a Cucumber.
why ONE YOUNG WOMAN FELT LIK
BITING A CENSUS TAKERS HEAD OFF

~ ONH AOUNG WOMAN FELT LIKI
BITING A CENSUS TAKERS HEAD OFF
I've answered more questions n
the census takers and the bneines.
directory agents in my two wears in
New York" said pretty tvnewritar
than ever in my life before. The Iaet
tlme 1t was the State census man ord
In Harlem. My brother lust sat tbare
ana let me answer the Questions os
usual, while my young sister looked
on and grinned. He was a verv a.
young man, and he went tbronSb !,
Win sort OF nonchalence that heat
4uythlhg' lie never asked our ages
suppose women tell so MANY stor;os
ABOUT their ages that he wouldn't he.
heve them. He just looked at me and
put me down %. He looked At nv
sister and put her down H. I'm %
and she's Is, but we let it 90.
at me again. '0N'"s
upset. Nl'ieVely
"'Chldren p
:, I'm not married. said l.
didn't ask you if you were mar |
children " '" "''O 'uy
You could have blown me over
1oht you know. Before I could Sian
nlm' my sister-she's awfully stupid
that he took me for
WIDOW. wear black-see ?-and was
running The house, census and ali,
! never was married, eitber.i said
Isn't that sufficient ? for was inst
hopping mad. was JuS'
Ihen why not answer my oues-
Ilon said he, getting up and CASUALLY
around to see where the Do,
was. Now what do you think of that '
OF LmpudenceY To ask youg woman
'uGn a question as that! What did I
Ell MIN Why, to get out of course j
'nu ne got "-NeP Fork Herald. Q
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

Our firm" sys a young business
man, has a travelling man whose wife
Is what is commonly termed a terror
She regulates her husband in every
particular, draws his salary aud doles
1t out to him, comes in and raises San
enc with the house if he is ont to Iong
ana makes herselfgenerally obnoxious
All the men in the Office are afraid of
ner' and you would laugh to see them
all scatter off and get very busy when
SAe appears. Well, sir, this year the
hrm wanted to cut that drummer's
salary down, and how do YOU think
they did it they knew his wife would
make things lively if she knew his
salary was decreased, so thew fixed II
up between them that his pav was to
be reduced, but that his wife sbouid
draw the old amount, and that as the
drummer has little bank account he
would square matters with the firm at
the end of the year. How's that for
terrori2ing ability-one little I3O. Dound
woman holding under her thumb her
husband and a whole firm besides PD
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
The Dutch in Snssev

az the organization of the Netbar
laIu society of Pennsylvania in PbiIa-
UTi IT7! Phia, recently, Henry c. ConraJ -
wilmington responded to "Tbe DntoI ~
>" "4aa'. gTlawaTg. re- lie said in part:
Henry henry Hudson, sailing under the
auspices OF the Amsterdam Chamber
~ ~ Une East India Company. turned
I3 Ine Prov of the Half Moon towarJ
DelaWare 1cae wa. Bay on the 28th of An"Tst
noo9' SAID Mr. Conrad. "Scarce1V %
year later Captain Samuel AroaIlS
slgIIed the present Cape HenJ6non
ana gave 1t the name of Cane H.
ware, alter Lord Delaware In 1911
a merchant of Amsterdam ftted ~
lVe vessels, which arrived at tbo
mouth OF the Manhattan river ord
captain Cornelius Jacobsen Mev n;tL
Uhe Fortune, steered south and arrivod
al at Delaware Bay, whose Eastern
Cape takes its name from - ~ u
f1 nerF or Hirndlopen was so-called
Friesland. ii''iie III
ne first vessel built in this conn
Try by Europeans was the wort nf
sturdy HOllanders On Block Island
II tnls captain Hendrick Cortiensen
naue - the first real exploration of the
peIaWare y bay aud river, and landed nm
5he shores of what is now the state of
OelaWare, making purchases of those
VINO inhabited the Christiana. and aIso
discovered the schuylkil. '''7o
samuel GOdyn, a merchant of Am
.ter1am' ats5 received the first grant of
anu 'alI III tne state of Delaware, and it
comprised the whole bay front of Kent
nd Sussex counties" - - 'n'
Mr' Conrad's speech was mainly in
ne historical vein, and he gave an
Interesting talk. e'' q"
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

The additions to the electoral col
lege this year are almost wholly IN tbo
benefit of the Republicans. The si~
new states casting collectively twenty
voies, are looked upon as surely Re-
puplloan; New York, Indiana, Ken
!ueKy, Maryland, Tennessee, Louis
lana, South Carolina, Virginia and
other states that the Democrats expect
70 carry have no more electoral votes
than they had in 1888. New Jersey
gains one, Alabama one, and MissonTi
one. On the other hand, Nebraska
strongly Republican, gains three
pennsylvania two, and California
Massachusetts,, and Wisconsin one
each. Just as in 1880, in 1884. and
IN 1883, the result in 1892, may be de-
termined by the vote of New York.
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

Inc press of two continents is mak.
ing merry over anOther utterance oe
tne young German emperor IN a
speech at the banquet of Inc nro1,;, -
slaaf sla ple1 o. West Prussia MAY the
SHHs y tnls country accept patiently
wnAtever Providence has III store for
vnem ana await with confidence the
results which the emperor will achieve
~ re ene course of the toilsome future. D
Al correctly reported il is evident
. .nat young Wilhelm's head is con.
unuing to swell with alarming rapiditv.
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

IHE PEARY RELIEF EXPEDITION.
The expedition to be sent out in the
name OF the Academy of Natural Sci.
eences, for the relief of Lieutenant
PeaFy and party, expects to sail for
Greenland about the middle Of lime
and return about the first week in De-
ttober. Professor Heilprin, the leader
mas made arrangements to secure the
steamer Kite, with Captain Pike and
the officers who had charge of her last
year, and will also have with him
eight or nine men selected for tbair
special fitness for the work to be nm.
dertaken. ~ 20 un>
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

TIE thief who stole red-hot stove
has been outdone by an emnlovaa S'oes os
Parnum aud Bailey's CIRCUS, who stole
. cage containing lion, lioness and
two Nv small cubs, the whole valued at
SS,oOO. He chartered a box car at
YORK, Pa, and had gotten as far as
OhIGago with his plunder, on his wav
ic, 70 Nebraska, when he was captured.
Jay Gopld, N~'''OA y
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

LoNGEsF CANAL IN THE WORLD-
4he longest canal in the world is the
one which extends from the frontier of
China to St. Petersburg; it measures
In all 4,472 miles. There is another
canal running from Astraehan to 81
PPeters6urg, which is ,434 miles loRs.
Both Both OF these were begun by Peter the
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

The popularity of our Clothing
is continually on the rise, honest
material and moderate prices
giving it an upward boom that is
particularly gratifying.
We might mention that
we are also sway up" in Summer
Furnishings-especially in Negli-
gee Shirts. OF those we have an
airy, breezy line, just right for
the hot days.
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

Have no sagging gates is the advice
gwen 70 farmers by an agricultural
contemporary. This is equivalent to
Ieillng the farmer he must keen his
daughters locked in the house on
moonlight evenings. No farmer who
mas mas manageable girls can prevent his
gates from saggipg, '' 30
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

The Boston Saturday Evening Ga.
sette tells story showing that an To-
norence of Latin is sometimes a disaS.
vantage. A young business man of
Boston had slight sore throat early in
the winter, and meeting his cousin. a
physician and also something ofa wac !
ne asked him what to do for it. 20"
In write a prescription for YOU" was
the answer. He wrote it. and tbe
gentleman glanced at it before taking
1t INTO the druggist. It read somes
tning like this: Aqua Pura - ounces.
Chlorlde Sodium = ounces. shake
before using, and gargle with it every
nali hour" How much is it ?" ouer.
led the patient, as the druggist handed
hlm the bottle. 1.-Two dollars was
lhe reply. Last week another sore
throat asserted itself, and remember.
ing the efficacy of his first treatment
ne took in the bottle to be filed again
Another clerk waited on him and When
ne inquired the price he was astonisbed
at the the cheerful answer: "Oh. W.
uon't charge anything for salt and
water - He had paid two dollars he
lore for bottle of salt with two tea
'poonfuls of salt dissolved in it.
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

Educate the children to habits Of
eemperancei teach the baneful effects
oI alcohol In the system inculcate
principles of sobriety and industry and
tne race of drinking men will soon die
out. This is the object of the Loyal
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

Wlfel VI opened a bill of yours from
eAe club this morning for $25. didn't
KNOW you spent so much money at the
eiu0." Husband "That was the.
month that baby was teethinR.p
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

FRANK LEsLIE's POPULAR MONTHLY
FOR JUNE.-A large variety of tonics
are interestingly treated, both descrin.
lively and pictorally, in the June nnm-
Der OF Frank Leslie's PoDuIar l[ont5Jn
st Louis, the Carnival CITY of Amey-
iica, IS the leading paper, and gives a
oriight presentation of the external
splendor as well as the commercial
resources and progressive spirit of the
southwestern metropolis. In an arti-
Gle entitled Barriers Against Invisible
Foes, Frank Linstow White gives a
graphic description of the Quarantine
station of New York Harbor. and the
Vlgllant measures in operation there to
ward OFT contagion and epidemic
Peasant Life in the Romagna," Is in
Jne happiest style. Probably the most
VIVID idea OF an earthquake ever given
n the compass of a magazine article.
Is that presented by the account of
Earthquake Photographs in Japan
written and phOtographically illustra-
ed ny Professor Henry Burton. head
u the SeismOgraphical Laboratory of
D. ne Imperial University of Toxic.
There are number of good short
tories aud poems.
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
There Waa No uon0
q Waete OF Monau

nut finding it would comfort her basoD .,,.
..1sI .ns u, IN few days the bloating began to
subside, seemed 70 feel n IjttIa otro,,e ~
tnought 1t only fancy was So wal cI,s5 Dns
99nE IN ~ cake ten drops of Sarsaparilia at irst
.,1o an Iwo weeks was able to sit up few m min
S,cSu S1s every DAY. In month 4 could walk
ty Iney were to have for dinner. and said IiAe +
W HeHnteo something hearty. NV mother was
% aappy she cried. 1t was the N
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25
First Time 1 had Felt Hun.
gYy for Two Neaye

kept on with Hoods Sarsaparilla and in s,v
months was rs well as ever in NV life If q
now four years since recovered ana -
not lot nad days sickness since, nor anv hemoro'
Inage; II ever a human being thanked the
st UUp M,S hord on pended knees It was /. know
unqueSuonably Saved my Life"
Messrs. Sawyer d Jennings, the well knovn
druggists OF Cortland, say that Miss Huntley "is
mighty respected LADY; her statement of what
Hoods SarsaparilIa
has done for her is worthy the highest coma.
oenee." Hoods Pills cure Liver MS
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25


Is the sister of Mr.. w. s. Hunt,su &c
SSnt, %0Iuand, N. Y, a well known car
10y "ner ana builder. Her frank state
t-,tS ~s I oelow gives only the absolute
'o1 uItn concerning her illness and mar
velous recovery by the aid Of HooS,. 'o5
Sarsaparilla. She says:
o. l. Hood & Co.. Lowell, Mass:
h.vns lear Sir: Twelve years ago began TO
AZ go H., nemorrnages and fouryears ago became
'OiO" that the physicians told me
There Was No Hope
s snu should soon die. could not he rnov.d
.nn4i -.on my bed. Under my face were napkins
month mTnthhuaIIy Redeemed with blood from INV
sctsnIn. sn. could ent nothing and had ~
ssid ~ OF tne bowels for a week. The doctors
this time 1SIs9 Tv was ulcers in the stomach. At
S9Le 9e more trial, and asked II wonId tsiee
--OOu SaFsaParilla. told her it would be-
Smyrna times., 1892-05-25

a" Address By j. Alexander Fulton.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1892-02-26
The Wool Tariff.

Below is given the opinion of VIM. Ball,
Of Hamburg, one Of the chief sheep raisers
in Michigan. Mr.. Ball speaks as a sheep
raiser and wool grower. The Owosso Press
would simply tell Mr.. Ball he didn't know
what was best for himself and proceed to
call him Wool Blower. Mr.. Ball says:
81 do not care to go into a discussion of
the tariff, but simply to call attention to the
fact that it is one industry land very i'm
portant one to large number of men ell
gagged in it) that is to be attacked, and that
is wool growing, which is no more than self
sustaining now. Destroy the protection
now afforded, and fine wool-raising in this
country must be abandoned. This in
dustry abandoned, very large num-
Der of farmers must engage in other
farm pursuits, which as has been said ARE
already Overcrowded,' and disasterous re-
suits must ensue. 1t does not follow that
prices of clothing would be cheaper, for for
egn wool having control Of the markets of
the world would become dearer. One of
the reasons why this agitation must be made
yearly is from the fact that every such agi-
tation disturbs confidence and prices are de-
pressed, and these gentlemen know that
they make money by keeping up such agita-
ton. They know perfectly well that II such
law as they ask for be smuggled through
Congress (which is not possible now, that
the President would veto it. The conclu-
sion then is, that unless this association is
aiding Brother Springer and others i'm max
ing out policy on which to conduct the
next campaign, it hopes by such agitation to
get wool cheaper, which will be the case"
The Illinois wool growers adopted the fol-
lowing resolutions. The OwOsso Press
would say they didn't know what was best
for themselves and call them Wool Blowers:
lSesOlUed, That the action proposed in
Congress to reduce the tariff on wool will
work great injury to the sheep breeders of
the state of Illinois and fatally injure this
important industry il adverse legislation is
had.
Resolved, That the greatly improved con-
dition and encouraging outlook, the result of
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1892-02-26
Wards Words.

The old settlers meeting held at Corunna
last Monday was rollicking success, but
those truly good old people never will know
i hope how much they lost by my being
forced out OF the meeting to connect with
my train. i came like the rest of the speak
ers ''wholly unprepared' but intended to
unveil the statue of the Pioneer Liar if time
had permitted.
Truth is divine attribute, which probab-
ly accounts for the slight comparative eXer-
else of it in the human family but to show
that lie is more important than the truth,
we have only to refer to our daily papers.
We can get along very well without the
truth, but what in the world would we do
without lies. Why, the truth only just fairly
adhered to in the amenities of life would
tear up the whole fabric of society, destroy
business relations between men, undermine
the foundations of law and sap the very
sanctuary. Col. Bob IngersOll believe has
exploded the idea that truth is mighty"
1t is the weakest in the world. Lay one down
and it will lay right there. where lie would
bud, blossom and bring forth fruit. A lie
travels like bullet while truth goes like a
snail. Lies are necessity Of our natures
and man or woman who hasn't cultivated
the art of lying is as stubble in the clover
field OF life. Consequently the pioneer, as
he exceled in other things, becomes in time
a collosal liar. He lies about the hard times
of yore and the scant crops, the distant mill
and neighbOr, and rain, weather and rattle
snakes. Yes charming, innocent, harmless,
enhancing lies which glue the listeners to
their seats as open mOuthed they hear Of
what would have been true if it had only
happened that is il it had transpired. Hap
py, health-giving lies, so calm, so absorbing,
so cheerful. have sat and listened to those
good old honest pioneer liars as they tapped
their bar'l of experience and let it run like
treacle down my throat for hours. Now
and then pathetic lump would come along
and bring my heart into my mouth so quick
that l had to shut my teeth to keep from
losing it entirely, only to swallow it back
with smile at some facetious fiction.
Heaven help and bless the pioneer liar. May
his shadow increase and with each succeed
ing year may he add to his superstructurc
OF fiction until it glistens into reality. | am
something of liar myself. WARD.
Laingsburg, Feb. "a, 1892.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1892-02-26
MiddlebUrY.
From the Ovid Register.

lLc ONlu INeBlSIcr.
George Edwards and wife, and Miss Ellen
Darling were the guests of Mr.. and Mrs.
Dennis Snyder.-Mrs. Wheeock has been
spending few days with her daughter,
Mrs. j. j. Knapp.--Lttle Harry Knapp
has been under the doctors care for few
days Dut is now improving. VIM. Turner
and wife, and Barbara Snyder, of North
Middlebury, were the guests of Dennis
Snyder and wife, Sunday.-Miss Della
Darling Sundayed with her parents at Fair
field.-The Misses Anna and Erma Arm
old Sundayed with their cousin. Miss Nettie
Arnold. George Sherburn and sister were
the guests of Mr.. Goodrich and wife, Sun
day.--Charles Hyde receives little if any
encouragement from the physicians at Ann
ArbOr. We are sorry he is in such poor
health.-Miss Eta Sears is spending a
few weeks with Miss Goodrich. Mrs.
Binger is on the sick list.-John Paine
and wife have been visiting friends in this
place. Miss Estela Patrick Is spending a
few days in st. Johns, with her friend, Miss
Ina Cramer.--Dennis Hyde has the mate
rial on the ground for new frame barn.
Will build in the spring.--The little son
Of Mrs Thomas Arnold is very sick.-
Geo. Tubbs is moving into Frank Rogers
house.-Mr and Mrs. Keys are occupying
Dennis Hyde's house.--Mrs. Dyer and
little daughter Lucy are on the sick list.