The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1892-05-27
HOW CARL puN6ER CAUGHT ON.
As Usual He Gets the Small End of the
Bargain.

Bargain.
well, hope you haven't been swim
died again. remarked the fat police
sergeant as Carl Dunder entered the
station-house the other afternoon.
Sergeant, vhas dere some hayseeds
on my coat collar?" queried Mr.. Dun
der in a lively way. ''Schwindled! |
guess not. If somebody looks me for
spring chicken he vhas left"
"Then you begin to catch on to the
customs of the country, do you?"
81 do. 1 vhas awfully discouraged
der last time / vhas here, but now |
vhas all right. Nopody can fool me
again. Shust gaze on dot
He pulled out gold watch and chain
and handed them over with broad
grin on his face.
''Well?' queried the sergeant as he
briefly examined them and sighed heav-
lily.
-Four days ago." said Mr.. Dunder. Il
goes down to Toledo to see my brudder-
in-law. On the train a young man
comes to me und says vhas | Carl Dun
der? vhas Dot pleased him. because
he reads of me in der papers, ind he
knows how big-hearted vhas. He likes
to raise money to buy some grave stones
for his dear mother, und he Will sell
me dot watch for two hundred dollars"
Great Scots. but you didn't pay him
no such price?'
Sergeant, do you see some green
grass in my eye?" chucl<led Mr. Dunder
Il may be leedle slow. but vhas no
cornfield. ! say to dot young man dot
j doan' care if he has lost six mothers.
Will gif him seventy-five dollars und
not one cent more. He feels mighty
bad, but he is obliged to sell it to me-
How vhas dot, sergeant-a two hundred
dollar watch for seventy-ive dollars!
Don't catch on, eh?"
The sergeant looked very serious and
did not reply, and Mr.. Dunder con-
tinued
"a stranger comes m my place der
udder day md says his wife und shil-
dren vhas all burned oop in fire in
Buffalo. He wants to go oudt by der
first train, und it Will be great favor
to him if cash a check for thirty dol
lars"
But you didn't do it.?
Sergeant do look like some cat
nip?" demanded Mr. Dunder. as he
stepped back and Strengthened up. Il
feels sorry for dot man, of course, but
shust tell him dot | gift him fifteen dol
lars und no more If he doant like dot
he can go AWAY. He takes me oop.
Here is the check. | save shuSt fifteen
dollars on dot deal.'
The sergeant looked at the check,
which was signed John Smith" and in
sorrowful voice he asked Mr.. Dunder
if he had anything else to relate.
"Nhell, do leedle peesness yester-
day dot l like to shpeak aboudt. A
man comes in my place und says vhas l
Carl Dunder? | vhas All right. He
like to see me quicker dan der presi-
dent. He reads of me in der papers,
und he knows l vhas sharp, shrewd
man. He likes me to go into peesness
NIT him
What sort of business?"
''Vhell, it vhas a new kind of fly
screen. 1t vhas hy-screen nit a hole
in der center about as big as dollar.
He vhas der inventor. Nobody ever in
vents dot idea before, und he sells me
half interest for feefty dollar. 1t vhas
worth one tousand, but he likes my
name for influence, see?'
What is the hole left for?"
''Vhell, some flies go in by der door,
maybe, und dot vhas to let him go oudt
by der window. Dot vhas good idea,
eh? close dot bargain at fecfty dollar,
und belief make ten tousand. What
vhas der matter, Sergeant?" Why you
look at me like dot?"
The sergeant handed him watch and
check, and taking him by the arm led
him to the door and put him out and
said:
Mr.. Dunder, | am sorry for you.
You are too incocent for this world.
Good-by.'
Mr.. Dunder turned at the curbstone
and stood and looked long at the sta
tion-house door. BY and by smile
crept over his face, his chin went up
foot higher, and he called out as he
walked stiffiy away:
1T vhas all right, Sergeant | see
how she vhas. You vas shealous of me
dot | don't get shwindled some more,
ind dot dere cows don't take me for
some grass any longer. Ha! vhas on
to you like big house, und don't ask
you no more if buy an electric clothes
line fur ten dollar und save all der rub
bing und half der soap."-M Quad, in
n. Y. World.