Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-07-23
WIT AND HUM0R.

She gently signs and turns it over,
As II she thought there should be more,
And then eXclains: please bring to me
Life
Dead men have more friends than
living men. -AtchiS0B Globe.
A stingy man is a man who has no
mercy on himself -RaDts Horn.
The man with horse sense is not al
ways found at the race track GalreS-
Ton NeCs.
Why should pawnbrokers be reyiledP
Do they not keep their pledges?- Texas
SyliHgs.
Is the fellow that paints the town
red" guilty Of cardinal sinP-Atlanta
Journal.
De Foorlights-"Y Variety is the spice
of life. De Foyer-Yes; but prefer
the ballet. "-Broo5lya Eagle.
1t isn't the man who oftenest breaks
his word who is the best authority on
parts of speech. Boston Courier
Watts -"Did your barber shut up
Sunday?" Potts - 90 He merely
closed his shop. '-EpdianapoIs Jour
nal.
The dog that loses his master is
without friend, and so are some men
when they lose dog.-BjHgbaDlt0a Re
publican.
1t is rare man who hasn't some
kind of a friend to come and tell him
the unkind things that are said of him.
-Atchtson Globe.
Fair Amateur-"Yes, / painted this.
What school of painting would YOU
call it?" Artist gently Boarding.
school. ~ 4 Weekly.
About all the difference wealth
makes in a mans condition is that it
lengthens the chain by which he is
bound. -AtchjSon Globe.
Mamma-"Why did you run off from
school and spend the day rowing about
the river" Boy-"Papa said he want
ed me to prepare for college. Good
NedOS.
81 felt so cheap during the cere-
mony," confessed the bride to her
dearest friend. "Why, my dearP"
Because pa gave me away."-DetroH
Free Press.
Mrs. Buffington-"Billings, that dress
you made for me is so tight | can't
breathe in it. Esthetic modesto
Eyes, madam; noticed you were fond
of onions. "-Jud9e.
Friend -- Trouble with your wife,
Ell? What rock did your domestic
ship split on?" Spinks- None at all.
Hadn't rocks enough; that was the
difficulty. IN T. Weekly.
Junior Partner Cvhen the expert had
finished his examination OF Mr.. Leiier's
books) lis he short in his accounts?"
Expert-"No, sir; it's his cash which is
short. "-Detrot Free Press.
Customer wish to get pair of
shoes which will be easy and comfort
able the first time l wear them" Deal
er Gndignantly)-"We don't keep sec
ond-hand shoes, sir."-Judge.
Carruthers-"I can't say that l par
ticularly admire the girl of the period"
Waite-"You don't? guess you never
contrasted her with the girl of the in
terrogation point T. Hyrald.
Reader TO editor) Here's fine
article on spirtualism. Editor Maya
zine-"Accept it, but hold it till the
author dies; then send him a check on
publication. "-AtiaHta Constitution.
Cupid is getting bow and arrow
ready for the summer season. A ne
culiarity of his shooting is that the
more Mrs. he makes the better the
girls are pleased Philadelphia Times.
"What do YOU mean bv saving Won
want to speak to me on business when
YOU only want to borrow some mon
ey?" "ENcause me. but borrowing
money Is my business - flicgeaae
B.ahcr,
Yabsley-"T am panied 70 see that
the moou is getting full again Nudge
-aTf Won had a. much ii,,cro7v noo+rv
fired at YOU as the moon has YOU
would get full Yourself LldiquaDolis
Journal
rbau b,5 in. 5;..l 81 .t.L..
hands ,ro,,,j b, ~ -, ,,. 'li T d US