The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-06-12
Ne WROTE UP The TOWN.
A Ruralist Who Had Some Ideas on
the Subject Of Advsr-
Using.
Tho Glory Of winkumpaw waned
Before tho Rising Glory o.
Dead River.
D. the A. Man Wrote Up ths Placs IN
His Hast ~yein-storiss d Prsmi-
mont CitlseaA

His Hest voin--stOriss Of PEsmi-
noat citisea&
YsY--fAWY DON'T YOU WRITEA PIECE
AdHR about this town?'' said tho intel.
TX ltRent agfioulturtst. looking dowr
at me from the top rail OF hi
barnyAsd fence. "Ws amt BEN gittiu'
half the summe folks y Va ought 10 have
these last three years. Whut Va need Il
advsrtisin'. This II the ora Of advertisin'.
Why. jss' look a. that OK"
Ho pointed to IN animal of unusually
dark complexion. which was presenting hil
starboard broadside to our inspection.
Farmer Mills threw q piece Of wood At the
beast n made him turn around 20 that ]
perceived that his other side was painted q
pure white, and bore tho inscription: 'Ths
nigh side Of this OF wal washed with Halls
soap"
'Thsy tell me, over to the store" con-
tinued the farmer, that they havs quite 4
call for shat soap now. This town o. Win
kumpaw needs somsthin' inst like that, an
you ought to give IL TO III. You was partly
raised hero, and by rights ought TO have an
interest in our folks. Dead Rivers been
gittin' lots o. boarders aimee them histori-
cal ~critters from Albany dug up some relics
over there and printed = piece about it.
Now. AZ to those relics. It's pretty we'll un-
derstood that they we're imitation things,
loft not more'n i've years before by a gang
o half-bresd clothesline thieves that
camped on the river. But the towns got
paid for everything the Iniuns stole. NY
Aunt MariA's Oldest boy, that lives out
there, had to put up . cot bed in his corn
crib las summer to accommodate the rush.
] tell 70 this ID the era Of advertisin', an
we got to have It,"
Nov, whom I can confer . blessing upon
an entire community md get a cent q word
for II, my generous nature would not per-
init mo to hesitate. ] told Farmer Stevens
q once that !! would write up the town, so
that the whole nation should ring with the
name and fame Of Winkumpaw. I asked
no moro Of the towns-people than that
they should let me draw upon their fund or
entertaining recollsctions, and afterward.
whom ] had made them famous. 90 that
their corn cribs groaned with summer
boarders that they should hold me in affec-
tionate remembrance.
And 20. while the early month Of spring
was ripening the city man for the sickle Of
the rustic. ! wrote up Winkumpaw, and the
stories Of its beauties and virtues was
spread abroad. ! expected the shanks Of
townspeople, but they did % reach me BY
mail. ! did not, however, accuse them Of
lngratitude, but resolved to return to
Winkumpaw in July and view the orop
which is reaped whore it 10 not sown. I ex-
pected to be the idol of the community and
wa. prepared TO enjoy il. / had not been
life. nearly ten Years before, and Thus tho
sensation would DO NO only pleasing but
novel.
Therefore, although I return to Winkum-
paw on . milk train. my feelings during
the journey were intensely agreeable. II
habits Of the milk train he will realize how
great is the inward consolation Of q good
deed. If ho 10 led thereby to do q good
deed himself I shall expect q part Of the
proceeds. The milk train stops wherever
there is o COW. II does not 10 this to pie ase
her industry and self denial. This will Le
found standing on a platform in a large
can. II the weather is dry the cover of the
a will be firmly fastened down; but on
rainy days it will hang from the handle
By by e string. and The oblieing tr.inm.n
caboose. I state these facts because they
might otherwise forever escape the alton
tion of the reader. Few of US ride on milk
trains. We have no leisure GLASS in this
country.
W~inkumpax is twenty-five miles from
the engineer who lald out the railroad wan
dered q good deel, being a stranger in those
parts, and not knowing accurately where
all the COWS we're kert. In fact, the road
makes a kind Of a circuit 80 that soma of
the milk collected strays back to Syracuse
and the remainder goes do not know
where. l left Syracuse carly in the morn
ing, and, BY noon. had covered a large part
OF the distance between that city and
Winkumpaw. But ! suffered scarcely any,
being up held by the approval of my con-
science.
tion. having several cows and some inhabi-
tants. our freight was increased by three
cans Of milk and John B. Frost, who keeps
the store in Winkumpaw. MIR. Frost took
q seat facing me and viewed me in silence
for several minutes, afte. which he asked
! expected to get by W~inkumpaw with
out being seen.
II am ashamed to confess. MI. Frost,'
said ], shat nv modesty does not carry
mo so far. l shall stop at Winkumpaw,
but l trust the people will not get up any
thing more elaborate than q picnic in my
The storekseper whistled softly.
WALL" said he, ITO the best of nv
knowledge and belief it won't be a picnic.h
/ urged him to explain.
when Uncle Eb. Stevens advised you to
write that piece, he told You ONE stories,
he?" asked Frost.
YES" I replied, Tho related some anus
ing incidents of the towns history"
"An' when it had got to bs known that
he'd done co." continued Frost. pretty
near everybody else took n handT'
''They were all very kind and commune
] admitted.
S that before you left you'd collected
svery darned old yarn that any man had
10 tell against his ~neiahbor. hadn't your"
=! did not regard the stories as off.ns-
rejoined. 'Su,ely they we're not
.old with any malicious intent. They were
that was all. For instance, take the
story illustrating the impertur bable calm-
less of Deacon Isaiah Gray"
l then briefly reviewed the facts of this
tory in order to refresh Frost's memory.