Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1892-12-23

| The lady vouch safed no reply, but went
out of the water, hastily walked up the
beach and took the direction of her bath
ing room. Ted, who had been SO long in
the water that he was chilled through, and
whose fun ended with Dulcinea's depar-
ture, followed her example. He assembled
the. steps, walked along the corridor,
noting the numbers on the doors till he
came to 90. The door resisted slight
pressure from his hand, but vigorous
shove from his shoulder threw it open and
| lle stood inside.
A piercing female shrek divided the
| air, and Mr.. o. Mara's Mortified gaze beheld
| Mrs. McDonaghue, still fully equipped in
her bathing suit, sitting on the bench with
4 his trousers in her hand.
| ''Get out of this, you bastel'' shescreamed
| s'Ill get out fast enough" said he, ''but
| I'd like to know what you are doing in my
bathing room.'
.eIt's not yours; it's mine. And if you
don't go I'll call the police"
81 swear hired this room of the keeper
| a few minutes ago"
81 tell you it's mine, hired by the week"
''Perhaps you'll be telling me, swate Mrs.
O'Donaghue, that those are your trousers
you have in your purity hand"
''You are BRUTE" cried the widow.
fourishing the male garment-"a brute
and thafe, too, for that corset you're
wearing is mine, though you did have it
made expressly for you in Montgomery
street."
dawn on Ted's mind.
"The laundering villain,'' he muttered.
cpl break every bone in his body"
Won rr<infr Mr. O,Nforo - cr;o1 tho
widow, in more subdued tone, cor shall
scrame murder?"
'sAnd bring the crowd round us?" not
unadroitly suggested Ted. GLOW can go
when you have my trousers in your hand?'
''Here are your dirty old Clothes" said
the widow, gathering them up and throw
ing them at him.
Thanks" replied Ted, quite politely.
"And by the way, as you lay claim to this
corset, shall take it off? don t know that
I am able to unlace it without assistance"
"Gol Go! Brute! Fiend! Villainr'
And the widow, whose musuclar strength
was not to be despised, pushed him out of
the bathing room.
It is not to be supposed that this ami
mated colloquy escaped the ears of the
bathers The keeper of the bathing house,
for prudential reasons of his own, did not
put in an appearance on the battlefield,
and when Teddy, having resumed his
proper attire, visited the office and ex-
pressed desire to have few moments
conversation with him, his wife declared
that he had gone to Sequel and would not
be back for day or two But quite
number of gentlemen and ladies were con-
sumed with curiosity to know the cause of
so warm controversy, the prevailing opin-
ion being that the fat Irishman had been
guilty of crimes for which death would
have been too lenient a penalty. Nothing
but his decidedly belligerent air prevented
his being called upon by the bystanders
for an explanation.
When Mrs. McDonaghue reappeared in
street costume and accompanied Mr..
the couple with sarcastic looks, and one
small boy was heard to cry:
Jumbo and his wifeP'
When they reached the widows sitting
room she burst into paroxysm. of tears
and sobbed:
"What am to do?'
'The situation" said Ted, ''must be ad-
mitted to be embarrassing"
"You were seen by lots of people in nv
bathing room when was in bathing cos
tume''
81 am afraid I was.''
''And they probably heard you ask me
to hand you your trousers"
Gas well as your remark about my wear
ing your corset"
'Oh, oh, ohp' sobbed the lady; ''there is
nothing left for me but to commit suicide,
can never hold up my head again twill
be all over San Francisco next week. Aunt
Norah will hear of it and will come and
condole with me-the crocodile!-and 1
would rather be dead than confess it to
Father Ballerty. Pll wait till night and
then drown myself off the pier"
II am afraid, Mrs. McDonaghue, that
after the-little notorlety you acquired this
morning the boys would follow you and
fish you out. Let me make suggestion.
Suppose, instead of worrying yourself about
this ridiculous accident, you consent to
marry me. Then everything would ex-
plain itself.'
There was long pause, which Ted was
too wise to interrupt
eff I marry you," said the widow, cit
will be solely and wholly in order not to be
laughed at for this mornings adventure"
"My darling" said Ted triumphantly,
account for the fact in any way you
please, so long as you do marry me-"
And the fat man embraced the fat woman
as far as his arms would reach
Thus it was that the social columns of
the papers announced that marriage had
been arranged between Edward O'Mara,
Esq, formerly of the Stock exchange, and
Mrs. Bridget McDonaghue widow of the
late Patrick McDonaghue, ESQ.,, formerly
Of the Bloody Bootjack mine. The happy
couple will spend the honeymoon in Italy.
John Bonner in Argonaut-
-s-