The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1892-11-04
Che lrmnrrat-S Sta,
THE NEW ORATOR.
hew the Georgia roun,alp w..
MaAs4th ~Ceorslans Lane, '''''
Augusta Chronicle.

Colonel Ham is n cle,n.h
hard m"ulhed looking m,n W.T.
the merrlesi twinkle oul "nh
corners Of his brigh, eyes wN"I. ne
gels realty for a big punch intn %, 1e
ribs of the other side thai y me
ever saw. lie is abonl 5 foo, '" u
broad shouldered and hunce' "
his houlders us he talks to %, ~ "p
harness right. as il were. Hs0 4'
er smiles while speaking. lieseam.
to lake il as joke that other ~"
pie laugh at what he saws. ~;
oil n very serious matter 10 h,m
lie declared that he felt, when /.
started TO speak in the pliwh, :" ~,
little johnny, whose mother SON,
him to get a basket of chi's
Johnny was a merry little fellow
and he went and pul the basto,
down by the wnodpile and the fir,
hing Johnny knew he had beon
down in the pasture half an hon,
and his mothers voice was calm.
him. And the voice had \ ri.;",
inflexion al the last ofil-John-e
and johnny knew what lh,t
meant !; he had heard it belnrs
The way he went 10 that wooJn,la
was astonishing. But he was lnn
late. lie didn't have time to set
those chips. Into the house no
went. And he was lit on to with
a healthy hickory and JOHNNY WAS
al the business end of it.
"Where are those chips?1
'Ah, ah, me-" Johnny explaim.
ell, ''you know our bull, old Buck
Well Buck was at the wooduiIe
and he would put his foot on evcrv
single chip | went TO pick up.n
Explaining the operations Of lle
tariff 10 the Southern people Col.
Ham said that there was a colered
man down IN lhomasvi!le who
sized the tariff up this way: Il
don't know much about it, but it
seems 10 me like dis: Dere is
great big COW, and its head Is down
here, and We are a feedln' it and a
.t"fin' it wild hay and stuff. And
de tail OF dat COW is up yonder a,
de Mort, and de- is a miikin' her;
dey does do miIkin' and we does
de fcedin'. | say turn her roun'
an let us milk awhile and let dem
feed awhile" | have come here
10 tell you that the Democratic
PARTY is the only party ON the
green earth that is trying TO turn
tina, COW around.
He said that his good friend Bill
Virgins and Il friend of his named
John were in Atlanta not long ago.
And while they were seeing lhinss
Bill imbibed Systematically this
Atlanta whiSkey. Well, the result
was that *hen Bill and JOHN cot
10 The depot TO come home, Bill
was petty drunk ON Atlanta whis-
key. And he had a bottle of it in
his Locket. "JohE," he says, (hic)
take thls bottle, and don't give me
none (hic) till 1 gel to Jonesville.
Well, coming down on the train
il looked to Bill Virgins like he
never was going 10 get to Jones
Vile. He asked the conductor
when he came through
"How far is it TO Jonesville 2"
"Twenty miles"
Goodness! he was hardly out Of
Atlanta. lie asked again.
"Fiiteen miles"
The brakeman passed through
and Bill asked
How (hic) tar is it 10 Jones
vile ?"
Thirteen miles"
Directly The brakeman hollered
Jonesville.
That bottle, John !" said Bill
jumping over to John, and he
drank and drank until he had
drunk hall a pint Of it-that A.
lanla whiskey. Well, Bill went
out on the steps and passed hi'
time for some time, and alter
awhile when he could, he got up
and went inside and said:
"Jonesville is the damndest
sickliest place l was ever in. |
didn't stay there hall an hour and
] like to died."
And l tell you Jonesville had
about as much 10 do with Bill
Virgins Sickness as The Democrat.
ic party has with The depression Of
the couNry, as the third party Tells
you il has.
You fellows who are following
my friend Tommy Watson, remind
me of The story OF the man and The
Bull. Up in The country where |
live in tile ninth district, there was
a man who wanted TO lead a COW,
anu the man tied a rope 10 the
COW and then TO himself. But The
COW went The other way, with the
man hitting The ground only IN
high places. Another party saw
him coming and hollered;
"Whe-e are you goingy'
"Ask the bull" said The man. as
he hurried on.
You fellows are just following
the bull and don't know where you
are going to, but I'll tell you where
you are gong to-you are going
where johnny put his frog. John
ny was a school boy and one day
the school marin called him ny
and gave him this sum F: "A troe
was in a we'll 40 feet deep and al.
tempted TO crawl out. For ever!
loot he crawled up he fell buck
fu,A H., L.. III - toka The