Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1892-01-09
WIT AND IIUM0R.

Whenever YOU heara man say that all
men are alike it is an apology for some
very contemplate scoundrel. --Atcbison
Globe
Doubtless when they speak Of the
warning elements they mean when the
winds have come to blows. - Washing
ton Post.
You see, Baron. my papa gives me a
book every birthday "Ahl you must
have already quite a library. - Iiegen-
de Bi9tter.
The standard military pace is two
and half feet. On a dOdble-quick
retreat it is more. --New Orleans ftca-
yunse.
Speaking of hydropathic cures it
strikes Us that we'll water ought to be
good for sick people. -Biaghanton Re
publican
Now, Johnny" said papa. who
was AdamPn lilo was the man who
discovered the world, said johnny
Harper'S Bazar
Hlow-"Now, look here, BlooDump-
err. / wouldn't be fool If were YOU"
Bloobumper-''No if YOU were /, you
wouldn't be fool. "-Epoch.
Sanso - Have you been playing
poker for money?' Rodd (diseouso-
iately) mo; but the fellows I've been
playing with have. IN \. Hsraid.
When society whispers, sou can bet
it's whispering i'll of some one; when it
speaks good of any one it uses long
distance trumpet. st. Joseph NelOs.
Boh (the author) -"Wait a minute,
aud I'll show you the proofs Of my
novel; Gore No, no! | don't want
any proofs. Your word is enough. -
Puck.
Namby-"She is very rich. Do you
suppose he had tender feeling for
herPn Hooks-"Of course, of course
"a legal-teuder feeling" 49, NJ T.
Herdid.
"Ryhmer is wonderful poet. He
seems brother to the muses.. Yes
He has wooed them all and they have
apparently agreed to be sisters to him"
N J. Sun.
( sacher- Tommy, will you give an
example of autologyPn Tommy 49,
Saw one in our paper this morning.
IL spoke of 'brainless dude. ILL., IN
diaaapolis Jouraak
"Yousay YOU waited on Carter when
he marriedPn Yes | waited on him
six months, and I'm still waiting He
bought his wedding suit of me. -
Detroit Free Press.
as there a stationery store in town?'
Fsked visitor at Kansas hotel. mo,
-, " replied the clerk as he shook bis
head; this town is in the cyclone belt"
49, Harpcr'S Bazar.
The wicked stand with immunity ia
slippery places, whereas small banana
peel llngs the heels of the righteous to
the sky like unto the heels of the lazy
mule. = Dliias NetOs
"If you gave less expensive presents
to people YOU could have better apart
mcnts than these Il know, but /
shouldn't get half so many good din-
ners. "-Hlrper'S BIzar.
Suggest motto for my new BUSH
ness venture will you, Miss Agnes2'
what is the businessP' "A dairy
farm Then suppose you take
Leave we'll alone THE Jester
Mr.. A. Tenuyson Fizzlo-"It is your
day now, but / viii bo remembered
when you have been forgotten" Old
GoroN Shouldn't wonder; | always
pay cash, indianapolis JourRal,
Judge 60 small wilness) do YOU
know the nature of an oatn?' 20. yes
sir | am an olliceboy and have to
answer the telephone every few min
utos. The Epoch.
Keely's rival the man who had Ill
most invented perpetual motion, is
dead, But there are plenty of men still
living who nave almost done something
great - 6aB.tl1 ETprcss.
Walker (uewly married) Il hope
you will do Justice to my wilc'S bis
cults, old mau?' Cutting (hiS guesD
We'll, frankly think they deserve
thirty days american Grocer.
You advertise that YOU are selling
wine at original prices and vet YOU
are charging double what any Que else
is as6ng THAT is what there is
original about il. 49, Fii,grada B.aUtr
Harry Your remarks Miss jennie
are SO spiced with wit that they quite
take my breath away" Jennjc-"I'm
glad of that, Tor your efforts with
cloves have been Hat failuresn'-N L.
Heratd
"Demi-train," he exclaimed as he
stepped on itand fell over il in two or
three places. But it isn't" She said