Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-03-01
WHY HE AVOIDED THEM.
A Clever Young Man Demonstrates the
Kind of Talk Girls Like Best.

A Clever Young Man Demonstrates the
Kind of Talk Girls Like Best.
why don't you talk to young Ladies' as
though you regarded them as rational
creatures, instead of treating them as
though they cared for nothing but silly
compliments or trivial personalities"
asked my dear old aunt as l stood near her
at Mrs Meanwelps tea. Really, it is an
absolute insult to a clever girls intelli-
genoe 20 praJtle the sort Of stuff | heard
you pouring forth just now Why don't
you converse about something? Why
don't you"-
"WhyW
yes why?"
would you really like to know, most
sensible and benevolent of relatives2 You
shall be enlightened, if you will place
yourself in such a position as to oyerhear
the sweet voice Of yonder vision of tailor
made perfection seated near the window.
BY the way, viii she dor"
"The bright looking girl in gray from
whom Mrs. Meanwell has just torn young
Fadly2"
"The same-Miss Newdollar, think"
"Excellently, indeed; | should say you
could make no better choice"
The change of base was speedily effected,
and with auntie seemingly engrussed in a
fine collection Of autographs but yard or
two away. leaned more or less gracefully
above the trim form Of my victim.
81 came across such an odd theory in
an English magazine this morning The
author finds a close connection between
sunspots and financial crises, and traces a
direct correspondence between the number
of spots and the number Of failures in
London, each reaching a maximum every
ten years
How funny Excuse me, but who IS
that tall, military looking man with the
decoration ia his buttonhOle2 ! am sure
you can tell me; you know everybody"
THAT is Colonel PompiniCkls, Of the
Austrian legation And speaking Of Aus
tria, It is said that thousands Of persons
in thesouthern districts will starve because
of the failure of the rye crop"
poor thingsl how can they eat such
horrid. sour stuff? | should think they
would rather get along on beef and pota
toes and such things than to starve. Who
is that horrid little dowdy thing talking tC
Mrs. MeanwellY'
THAT is Miss Skylark, who has spen'
her life nursing the sick and wounded il
military hospitals"
How nice Of her. But why does sh
wear her hair in that awfully unbecominl
knobi Isn't it close in these rooms2"
Quite so. Have you heard that DR.. Nc
Donald claims TO have discovered the in
sanity microbe, and intends inoculatini
young ladies and gentlemen for imbecil
ity?"
~ beg pardon. What were you saying
Oh ICES, something about animalcuh.
saw some once in "A drop Of water at
stereoptican entertainment Horrid things
l refused to drink any for ever SO long after
Won't YOU be a dear, kind fellow and in
troduce the colonel to me2 That awful
DR.. Bigwitz is boring him dreadfully,
feel certain, and he's been glancing towar
me ever since you've been talking. ! an
sure he is Just dying TO make my acquaint
ance. and besides know that he is suffer
ing. DR.. Bigwitz nearly talked me [
death once about science and things, Wi
youg Oh. you always are 80 obliging."
"Well, suntie, do you know why now
] whispered, as I helped the dear old lad
into her coupe. There was an expressio
Of sympathy and commiseration in he
kindly gray eyes which was an ample r.
ply ,., Al. >-.-s.r.
say to the colonel when ! left them t.
gether"
"You are not oversensitive?"
Not che least in the world. %
'eWeu. she breathed deep sigh, sig
Of relief, and said oh, colonel, you hay
saved me from a dreadful fate. Do yo
know that young man whom have new
injured must have sworn q dreadful oat
to bore me into an untimely gravep F"
George Kyle in Kate Fields Washingto