The Newtown bee., 1892-07-15
Feminine Traits in Dakota.

Michaels.-[ A. E. J.
 Feminine Traits in Dakota.
 Jim Hardin, with much deliberation, drew toward him the tobacco can and proceeded to stuff the bowl of his pipe full of the weed It was significant. We knew we were about to hear what Jim called an ''antidote," and our faces and attitudes at once expressed profound in terest.
 'Women,' said Jim between puffs, Sis queer cattle-yes, they be. A feller thinks he has th'r p'ints, an mebbe keeps on thinkin' so fer awhile. Then he finds out, all of a suddint, th't what he thinks he knows an what he don't know is more alike th'n what he thinks he knows an what he does know. One woman ain't no more like mother woman thu I be like that-wal, like that stove, f'rinstance. Cause why? Cause th'r p'rverse. They be, ,an' they cain't help it, none what ever. Moreovermore, they don't wanter help it-that's the p'ver- sity of 'em. Wy, ye never seen no wom- an that'd be r do r think like mother woman eff she hung fer not doin' it. Th'r' all like, all right 'nough, in them re- specks, but not any more. Ye cen pick out y'r female wharever ye please, an l don't keer eff she's tn mos commonist, ev'ryday sort O critter, ye cain't find mother one. wi tn same markins'. Tn | r Jp. tI, no more'n all cattle is short horns and I've saw lot.
 was jes' thinkin' of couple O cases I c'n rec'lect.
 Up in Dakoty l knowed a feller tht he'd a reg'lar thoroughbred wife. His name was Sammis, an he kep' store up to Bessemer, also sellin' wagons an grain. He was a fine feller, this Sam mis, an nothin' was too good fer him not even his woman, an they was reg lar stuck on each other. Mis- Sammis had all they was goin'-Sammis had dust an he wasn't 'fraid t put it up. They had a fine house, kep' Chinese cook an a hired girl, an had ev'rything folks oin banker fer, includin' various trips t Omahaw an Chicago ev'ry year.I knowed 'em long time, an I never seen folks get along so smooth t'gether-ies' like them doves that sits on tn fence b th' stable. They'd been hitched seven r eight year, had brace of as likely kids as ye ever seen, an still folks used t say, alters, how much them Sammis did sot by each other. It beat the dooce, sure, an might've went on fer all time, ,ef Sam mis hadn't gone an got inter trouble.
 Come one year bizness was slack at the store-cash bizness, I mean-an' Sammis, he let out a heap O stock on time, fer grub-stakes an tn like. But he'd like wise ben playin' poker some, as uzhal, and was shy fer stuff wen one day some O tn people he was owin' called fer him t settle up. He'd ben borryin' dust fr'm the elections he'd made fer some of 'em, 'xcpectin' t pay up right soon, but he didn't c'nect proper, an they sinched i'm. Ev'rybody at Bessemer took hand-'x- cept few O them th't cd I've helped him most, an oughter've did it-an tried to help Sam out ont, but feelin' innercent, Sam, he wouldn't have it, none whatev- CT, an tor them Eastern cusses, th't, sec in they didn't wanter wait till fall, an git far squar-up, they cd go t the dew il, an he'd go t jail. So they sen's i'm up two years beltin' rock in tn pen. We'd I've got gang t'gether an took Tim way from the offusers, but Sam sent us word he didn't want nothin' O tn sort-he was goin' t take his sassy fras like man; an he's done it. .- -. .-. .-.--
 Now, don't think for minute th't all this time Mis- Sammis want doin' noth- in' Great Enoch that woman hustled like Major-went t the menas was sim chin Sam, an begged an pleaded, an might've got 'em t give in, eff Sam hadn't been so uppish with 'em. She looked jes' orful durin' tn trial, an took on tur'ble wen tn Jedge sent'nced Sam. She didn't look like she uster fer a long time; jes' got paler an more peaked like, an folks thought she was goin' U die of, sure. Bout three months later she went t see Sam, an Sam, he tol' me bout it a couple years ago. They had real scene, jam full O tears an real spoony love, an Sam wanted t know eff it wouldn't be better fer her t get divorce, cause he was a disgrace t her. Then, O course, she falls on is neck an weeps hull lot, ah' sez as how she'll stick t him till tn ol' Harry goes inter tn ice cream bizniss, T somethin' like that.
 An gents. it wa mt three months long Fer b,fore she gifts her dog gone deyorce, an splices with a bald headed ol duffer f'm Pennsylvany. th't'd come t Dakoty t git unhitched hisself! Oh. it was tough, I tell ye. Sammis, he's out now, doin' good bizness, an got his kids-at Bessemer, too, b'gosh-an also behayin' hisself. But he was copsid 'bie broke up wen tn woman shuck i'm
 Here Jim paused to refill his pipe. and we took advantage of the opportunity briefly to debate the question as to ..,lofIor rr y,of Al rs Sa rnmis u a . ;,. sf;f3od