Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1892-03-26
AD0NIRAM'S HAIR.

Adouiram he tetested ID. He was always |
ssyin' suthin silly, like he'd give $50 fur TO |
hev u changed 70 black; and IL any one hob |
Tered "FirsF' while he wus round he'd take |
Il into his head 'twus personal, and had TO |
hold him by his coattails to keep him from |
hyin' at 'esn Once he did. You see, he'd put |
cigar into his coat pocket without bein'
careful about putin 1t out, and he was
smokin' like n chimbly. so they told me, the
blue rings risin' right over his head, and
somebody says behind us;
"Hullo, young fellowl you'Il be in a blaze,
next you know" and that time the fiery mater
that belongs TO red haired folks got the best of
Adoniram, and he wheeled around like fash.
"None OF your insuitin' aliusionsw says he.
and lift out at him
The stranger wus a real big gentleman, and
his fists wis like hams, and he doubled 'em
tight, and the next knew Adoniram wus
sottin' on the pawn stones iookin' surprised,
and a perlice came and Investigated matters
When Adoniram found out that he really
was afire-by this time his linen coat was
blazin'-he apologized free and open hearted
to the strange gentleman, and he took IL quite
amiable and wanted Adonram TO go and
drink suthin' or other. Adoniram had TO beg
10 be excused, being a Prohibitioner. But
the gentleman wouldn't excuse him-he took
II personal he should refuse-and 1t went 10
Adcniram's head, and had 10 pay man TO
take him home In "a wheelbarrer, his legs
hangin' over one side and his head the other.
That was in the days of our honeymoon, and
be couldn't be blamed for 1t, havin' discovered
the strange gentleman was a prize fighter by
perfession, aud bein' anxious. for my sake, 10
live
Well, Adoniram did not pick 80 many quar-
rels after that, but he grew kinder mollon-
choly about il, He used 10 say that he couldn't
expect me fur to be true 10 anybody with
scarlet hair, and II | talked TO black haired
folks he got jealous. 1t wus unreasonable Of
him, considerin' had told him 'twus his hair
fust took notion to. But men air onrea-
sonable, seems TO me, a general thing.
suppose they air made SO.
sEf was TO dye my hair" says Adonram
TO me one day, don't you think I'd looi
more kind OF pleasantf'
"Since you ask me, Adoniram,n ~ says |, al
must say, candid and serious, that my opin
ion Is you'd look like an idiot, and an Idio
carn't be pleasant 70 no well constitutes
mind Moreover, ! hev heerd that the nat
raj complexion agrees with the nat'ral hair
which is why old gentlemen and old ladie
with mahogany colored heads looks more old
erly and decrepid than them that lets it gi
gray. Besides,n says |, ''hair dyes Is poisons
and made of lead and sulpher and sncl
thins,s and why should a man with a fin
head of gold red hair want 10 get rid OF itr'
! amanda Anu" says he, his voice tren
blin', ~ feal red hesr 10 be affection, and q
there wus a bottle Of hair dye In the house O
: present should use II. y
He said this as we wus walkin along th
high street shoppin' fur our Sunday vietual
. and Jest then man a-standin' on the corne
stuck a sirkylaT iuto his hand and anoths
into mime. It's nat'ral % read a sirkyl IA
I when 1t Is given TO you. and as we Wake
/ along arm in arm, the big markit basket O
! his elber, the little one on mine, we peruse
them. This Is wha. mine said:
an Magnolia, the celebrated electrician
has at last discovered "a hair dye free frol
G ali the obnoxious qualities all others posses
b Having prepared a iuid for electric pu
+ poses, he by accident dropped some of
upon his snowy locks, bleached by study an
A devotion to science rather than by tim
Looking lite while afterward into Il
glass. he became aware that where the fiu
had fallen his tresses had recovered the hl
!, Of early youth. Instantly he applied ii
!, his whole bead and presented himself to b
q wife, who burst into tears of JOY, and tearir
% Oft her cap, cried: i. also, 80 desire to
n young againr Subsequently this cider
D. couple were mistaken for their grand.laught
n aud her husband by many relatives Frien
= rushed 10 the studio u NJ Magnolia, stra
a gers knelt To hin impioring the secret, and
last he has been persuaded 30 give il % q
world at the merely nominal price of o.
bottle. Your druggist keeps II. Take
10 other All else Is a delnsion and a snare"
y 81 want TO know II you ever didf' "a
Q. Adoniram. "Yon know there can't be
Df pison into electricity. ! reckon IN get sol
n bottles"
"a "Fur all know IL might 60 OFF and a
= like lightning some day says l. II mig
= como TO meet you with lovin' kiss and I
struck dead says |. ..or all frizxled api"
4 always wus a person that looked In
things This here wus In the remote past
the antiquity OF these here United Stat
70 when they hadn't no electric lights TO bu
OF folks up with yet, but only tallYgrams a
70 cablegrafrs which they had recently ce
r. brated: but my thoughts progressed IN
!. futurity and kinder felt Impressed
> Well, Adoniram didn't say no more, but
= Z noticed that be folded the sirkylar gu
H. keerful and put 1t into his pocket. and fur
spell expected him 10 come down TO brea
nm fast some day dyed black; but he didn't, a
:, forgot the sirkylars and began b belle
- that Adoniram wus gettin contented wi
~ hts hair, and showin' some common sense
~ last.
IN Ii wns jest about year from our wedd
re day that the ministers donation party cal
OH. We had heard good deal OF laugh
and sneerin' as TO how donation parties v
~ managed, and we meant ourn should b
u very different kind OF thing. Our pas
=, should feel 10 rejoice he had one give TO hi
~ 50 he did We got tea On the lawn, and
ne brought all the good things, and quarts a
d. pounds 10 spare, and the gifts wus lovely, a
10. the hull family pleased and compliment
Aslonirann, he had 10 90 20 town 10 So
handsome lamp he meant 60 give the past
on and couldnt be IN 20 tea. hut said he'd co
n after aud be there for the evening. II did
ng seem right without him, and when tea '
n. over aud he hadn't come fnlt low spirit
There wus a crowd in the houss and ON
lawn, and sometimes ! imagined he had
.~ found inc and wus there, When went Il
.,- the parior and saw a splendid new In
- burning on the table, with his name o.
~ !, card tied toit, began 10 think he wus hid
hs to Teas mo he Sid play JOKES now and IN
but wus mad ct him for doing lt on Y
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