Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-12-08
TAX REFORM DEPARTMENT.
A Mysterious Visit.

ment / said had never heard of his
branch of the business before, but
was very glad to see him all the same
would he sit down? He sat down I
did not know anything particular to
say, and yet felt that the people who
had arrived at the dignity of keeping
easy and sociable in company. So. in
default of anything else to say. asked
him II he was opening his shop in the
neighborhood?
He said he was II did not wish to
appear ignorant, but had hoped he
would mention what he had for sale.
l ventured to ask him "How was
trade ?" and he said $50 So"
then said we would drop in, and if
we liked his house as well as any other,
we would give him our custom
He said he thought we would like his
establishment well enough to confine
ourselves to it, and said he never saw
anybody who would go off and hunt up
any other man in his line after trading
with him once. at -
That sounded pretty complacent, but
barring that natural expression Of vii,
lainy which we all have, the man looked
honest enough
/ do not know how it came about ex-
actly, but gradually we appeared to
melt down and run together, converse
tional1y speaking, and then everything
went along as comfortably as clock
work. p.
least did; and we laughed, and
laughed, and laughed-at least he did.
But all the time had my presence of
mind about mel had my native
shrewdness turned on full head" as
the engineers say, I was de-
termined to find out all about
his business in spite of his, OBJ
scure answers-and I was determined
would have it out of him without his
suspecting what was at. ] meant to
stop him with a deep. deep ruse. 1
would tell him all about my business,
and he would naturally so warm to me
during this seductive burst of conf
dence that he would forget himself, and
tell me all about his affairs before he
suspected what was about. thought
to myself, my son, you little know what
an old fox you are dealing with. I said:
''Now you never would guess what l
made lecturing this winter and last
spring."
"No-I don't believe could, to save
me. Let me see-let me see. About
two thousand. maybe? But no; no, sir.
mucn-say seventeen hundred maybe?
''Ha. ha! I knew you couldn't My
lecturing receipts for last spring and
this winter were fourteen thousand
seven hundred and fifty dollars What
do you think Of that?"
''Why it is amazing-perfectly amaz-
ing. I will make note of it. And you
say even this wasn't all?"
''All. Why bless you, there was my
income from the Daily Warwhoop for
four months-about-abo what
should you say to about $4,000, for in
stance?'
SAY! Why, I should say I should
like to see myself rolling in just such
another ocean of affiuence. Eight thou
sand! I'll make a note of it Why man!
and on top of all this am to under
stand that you had still moro income?
'.Ha! ha. ha. Why, you're only in the
suburbs of it, SO to speak. There's my
book The Innocents Abroad price
So. so to s., according to the binding.
Listen to me. Look me in the eye.
During the last four months and halt,
saying nothing of sales before that, but
just simply during the four months and
a half, we've sold ninety-five thousand
copies of that book. Ninety-fiye thon-
sand! Think of it. Average 81 a copy.
say. It's nearly s4oo, 600. my son. ! get
half" ''>'' tsstts
1.-THE suffering Moses! TIL set that
down. Fourteen seven fifty-eight-
two hundred. Total, say-well, upon
my word, the grand total is about
ssls. 900 or ss14.o 900. Is that possible?"
Possible. If there's any mistake it's
the other way; sa14, ZOO, cash, is my in
come for this year, if 1 know how to
cipher"
Then the gentleman got up to go. It
came over me most uncomfortably that
maybe had made my revelations for
nothing. besides being fattered into
them considerably by the
strangers astonished ordinations But
no; at the last moment the gentleman
handed me large envelope, and said it
contained his advertisement; and that
would find out all about his business in
it; and that ne would be happy to have
my custom-would, in fact, be proud to
have the custom of man of such pro-
digions income; and that he used to
think there were several wealthy men
in the city. but when they came to
trade with him, he discovered that they
barely had enough to live on; and that
in truth it had been such a weary,
weary age since he had seen a rich man
face to face, and talked to him. and
touched him with his hands, that he
could hardly refrain from embracing
fact, would esteem it great
favor if would let him embrace me-
This so pleased me that did not try
to resist, but allowed this simple heart
ed stranger to throw his arms about ME
and weep a few tranquilizing tears
down the back of my neck Then he
went his way.
As soon IS he was gone 1 opened his
l studied it attentively
for four minutes / then called up tne
cook and said: f.z4se-.a tr ~
Hold me while 1 faintl Let Marie
turn the griddle cakes"
BY and by, when came to. sent down |
to the rum mill on the corner and hired
IN artistry. the weei~to sit .sPs nights
and curse that stranger, and give me a
tit Gosfonaflyin thesia5 tine when /
cane to ahard pl ace. /.
Ah, wha. a xn,iscreant he was! His
n" was nothite in the
xorld but ) sAawieked ssta NkuSturn,-a
string of impertinent questions about
d = pfisstc affairs. Z occnpying the
best part of four ,foolseap pages