River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-02-11
COULDN'T NEGOTIATE.
The Ignorant Tradcsman Who Didn't he.
mav~ In hecfprorftw

Iieve In Reciprocity.
How much do you ask for this
basket OF peachcs?" said a man who
entered South Water street orchard
one afternoon.
'only fifty cents" answered the hor~
ticulturist in charge.
'Only fifty cents?" echoed the caller
do you call that cheap"
"Yes, sir, for peaches of that quality.
They're sweet, ripe, juicy and free from
bruises. You won't find better peach
in this market, and I'm betting money
on it."
-'They are cheaper than that in Della
ware"
"But this isn't Delaware, my friend
Take a good look at those peaches. No,
you needn't tear a hole in the gauze
Here's an opening in the side of the
basket. You can see for yourself.
They're sound as a dollar. best free
stones. good all the way down, and IL
this wasn't big year for peaches that
that basket would cost you dollar and
u quarter"
mo cheaper, ! reckon. IL / should
take half a dozen baskets?"
II might shade 'em for you little,
but it's just as l tell you. There isn't
q better peach in the market anywhere
to-day than these. and"
Take forty-five cents for this bas-
ket?"
"well-yes," said the dealer. after
moments hesitation. But -"
'Six of 'em for two dollars and forty
cents?"
~ oughtn't to come down a cent on
EN-, but IL you want six I'll let you
have 'em for two dollars and a half"
make it two dollars and forty"
Cant do it."
Two forty-fve, then"
"All right"
The caller whipped a book out from
inder his coat, opened it, and began
talking rapidly:
Here's little work I'm introducing
N this neighborhood. It's called The
iIouselxeeper's Friend 1t tells you
low to get up a party how to make a
oed, fly kite, get rid of coclSroaches,
cure warts. corns and ingrowing toe
nails, how TO enter a drawing-room,
paint on glass, mend crockeryware,
dress achicken, cook a."
"Thunderationr What do | want
Of -"
Cook lobster take care OF a cana
ry, bring your children up 70 obey you,
clean spots out of carpets, how to tell
mushrooms frcm toadstools, what kind
of books you ought to read -"
"See here. don't -"
"And I'm offering this book for ex-
actly two dollars and forty-five cents
It's worth ten dollars of any mans
money, but I'm selling il at low price
TO introduce IT, At two dollars and
forty-five cents twill just pay for these
peaches, and -"
II don't want it at all, sirr
Look il over; you'll find it's all I
claim for it. What is a miserable half
dozen baskets of peaches compared
with n book that shows you how to
approach a COW when you want to milk
her, that gives you directions about
eultivating your mind -"
81 tell you don't want your bookr'
Hey"
II wouldn't give you ten cents for a
boxful of such books
"You Wouldn't"
mo, sirl''
"Who's asking you to give ten cents
for boxful of them? ] came in here,
sir, like man to negotiate trade with
you. You have given me your lowest
price for six baskets of peaches and I've
given you my lowest cash price for a
book worth hundred baskets. have
offered, sir, to make an even trade. And
you refuse!"
"Yes, and if you don't get out Of
here
I'm going, sir!'' said TIE caller, in
the severe, dignified tone of a man ad-
ministering deserved reproof to an
impudent hired man. "A person. sir,
who doesn't care enough about learning
how to dress properly. take care of
pigeons, acquire an easy grace of man.
ner. cook egg plant and detect counter
felt money, and who doesn't believe in
the grand principle of reciprocity in
commercial transactions, is not worthy
of the name of an American citizen.
That is all, sir! Good afternoon!-Chi-