St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-02-21

one might as well ask, What sort of a
split peaW or what sort OF a peri
winklei" as what sort of a baby :"
Why, their own mothers cannot tell
them apart without their clothes. They
think they can, but they can't.
was very much put out and | an
swered somewhat sharply: "Oh. two
legged baby. clean-shaven and its hair
parted in thesmiddle"
And then, in response to the girls
look of establishment. l added, ."You
ought to know what a baby is ike
What intended TO convey was that a
young woman of her age must surely
have seen plenty of babies and ought to
know what they were like without ask
ing. was incapable of any other mean
Ing.
The girl, however, not knowing my
character. jumped to lhe idea that l had
intended to Insult her; and, casting on
me look of indignation that will prob
ably last me to my dying day, left me
and went and explained matters in a
clear voice to the head saleswoman.
Everybody in the shop thereupon re-
garded me as the perpetratOr of an un-
manly outrage upon defenseless girl.
and, leaving off their own business,
stared at me with looks of dislike, tenn
pered by curiosity. The head sales
woman approached me with slow and
measured tread, and when she was near
enough requested me to kindly inform
her what it was that l required.
replied, with an attempt-a pain
fully unsuccessful attempt-at hauteur,
that wanted valentine to send to
baby. And. to prevent any further dis
cussion OIL the point, l added, TO the
usual sort of baby"
The iahu yyppf aud rofnrnad IN eiIanoa
with trayload of valentines labeled
Novelties for Children" They were
chiefly pictures of old ladies and gem
tlemen possessed of uncommonly fine
heads. You pulled the string and
The Eyes WObbled
One represented an old man in bed
and he swallowed rats. But that was
an expensive one.
L thought of Henrietta. the proud
beauty that | worshiped at that date,
and said that fancied the baby would
prefer something little older.
The Shopwoman thereupon asked me
how old the child was. replied | did
not know. She then asked me whether
it was boy or girl. L said | was not
sure.
She suggested that perhaps I might
find something more suitable to the
Cuilu dIuOHS LHelf ordinary STOCK. ana
agreed, and we had down the eighteen
penny sentimentals, and l selected one
with a needle-case and verse from
TennySon.
Touched apparently by the palpable
misery had been and was still suffer
ing, and taking it to be a sign of re-
morse, the assistant relented sufficiently
towards me while tying up the parcel
to observe. in not unkindly undertone.
that they were very superior class of
young ladies in that shop and were not
accustomed to young mems little jokes.
But it's quite mistake. 1 didn't
mean anything at all,' 1 exclaimed,
somewhat feebly.
mo, Pm sure you didn't" replied
the woman, soothingly. I'VE won't say
anything more about it.'
And l had the sense to follow her ex-
celIeht advice, and to take my packet
and my leave.
But resolved that, next year, if l
wanted valentine. (alas. when next
year came dldn't), would say it was
for my sweetheart, and have done with
it.
1t is always the best policy to speak
the truth, unless, of course, you are an
exceptionally good liar.