Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-06
HUSBAND MANAGING.
Wise Women Tell How They Get
What They Want From Men.
VARIOUS EXPEDIENTS SUGGESTED.
They Bride Their Tongues and Curb
Their Unruly Tempers.
AND THEN THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WAY

wreaths yesterday, and listened anxiousl
while the councillors of Sorosis, the famou.
pioneer of woman's clubs, the sisterhood Of
advanced thinkers, the guild of strong
minded, emancipated womanhood, discussed
the subject of husbands. Well might even
a painted god of love tremble as he reflected
ominously that no son of Adam was allowed
to enter this Eden to defend his kind. IT
was with great sigh of satisfaction that
| Sorosis greeted Mrs Terhune, whom all
women know and love as Marion Harland,
when she opened the subject by analyzing
and classifying the typical husband accord
ing to his peculiar traits and idiosyn-
| crasies.
every loving wife is convinced" said
Mrs Harland, that she could have brought
up her husband better than did his mother
or whatever feminine relatives had the
| training of him." and all the wives smiled
| and nodded. Mrs. Terhune added: ''The
first obstinate fault of the husband, who,
for brevity, shall be named John, is that he
is not, can't be, and wouldn't be if he could
"a woman. And the wifes irrational long
ing for sympathy in taste, opinion, and feel
ing from her welded lord is a baneful
growth sure to spring up around the domes-
tic hearth. The variance of views upon
important subjects consequent upon
the standpoint masculine and standpoint
feminine makes one wonder at the human
powers of philosophic endurance which
enable so many married couples to jog on
comfortably together
Courtship Not the Same as Marriage.
''Courtship is one thing and marriage an
other. Mary's primal mistake is in assum-
ing (upon Johns authority that the two
states are one and the same, and that moon
light vows and MONDAY action are entirely
in harmony. Mary takes to the RESPONSE
bilities of domestic life easily and natur-
ally. Johns liking is an acquired one,
like that for olives and caviare, and to gain
an aptitude for its duties requires patience
:'Another blow to Mary ideals is a fall
ing off in the small, sweet courtesies which
are the peaceable fruits of the gospel
of conyentionality. Politeness is like
gingerbread-it is only good when it is
homemade, and cannot be bought with
money. However kind and intelligent
John may be, he needs to be cleverly man.
aged when in double harness, to be coaxed
and petted up to what otherwise he might
when hungry, and he usually is, a wise
wife will wait until he has dned before
broaching unpleasant matters. If he is in
clined to object to everything she proposes,
as some Johns are, simply because she is a
woman. she will learn to make him propose
the thing she desires, and think it is his
own idea. Men may be gay deceivers in
love, but at home they are the most gullibIe
and transparent of beings.
"John is neither a saint nor hero. He
never tried to make Mary believe he was.
He has objected to being canonized, and
Mary is more often to blame for her dis
illusions than he is. Men are not to be
measured by feminine ideas or ideals Put
him in his proper place, survey him by the
white light of common sense, and if he is
true to his VOWS let Mary thank heaven
fasting for good mans love.
Marital Troubles Should Be Kept Secret.
Mrs. Yardley said that one great danger
to marital happiness arose from seeking
outside sympathy when the charms of
romance, poetry and sentiment found the
dead level of reality. 'The troubles of
married people, she said, ''should be
guarded as sacred secrets, for then the diff
ferences are more easily adjusted and har-
mony may be restored. One great cause of
turmoil is the money relation. Another is
that man in his friction with the world for
gets how wearing are the small irritations
of life. He is tired and does not wish to
listen to the uninteresting details of a
woman's small trials. The wife grows still
and preoccupied and dull, which furnishes
him with an excuse for neglecting her, so
they DRIFT away from each other. A woman
should never allow herself to grow dull and
uninteresting if she would keep her hus-
band a lover 1t she would preserve the
romance of The courting time she must be
as entertaining and anxious to please as in
the days of the wooing'
Mrs. Herrick, Marian Harland's daugh-
ter, attributed the failure of marital happi-
ness to girls being taught to expect too
much happiness from marriage, and that
love is its only essential by romances,
poetry, songs and tradition. But, while
not belittling love, she claimed that re-
spect based upon superior qualities, esteem
for those attributes that would make the
wife desire the husband as friend if she
could not have him for husband; common
sense, which teaches her that a faulty |
woman need not expect perfect husband,
and great patience that passion of noble |
souls"-are quite as essential elements in |
the domestic bliss. She cautioned the wife |
against holding up her soul to her |
husband always with thorn in it. Men
cannot understand intangible griefs and un-
rest She also said that one of the first
lessons wife should learn is that her hus-
band has a right to his own individuality,
and that, while she can inspire him to
greater achievements in work for which he
has bias, she cannot, as she may fondly
dream, mold his character, and she wouldn't
respect him if she could. Girls should be
taught that marriage is not the gateway of
heaven, and that even at this Eden the
angel stands with the flaming sword to turn
back souls that seek an earthly paradise.
W omen should know their lovers so well
that marriage can bring no great disap-
pointments. Marriage is not a match made
in heaven, but an earthly union founded on
mutual respect, over which the love that
made the bond possible sheds a tender in
duence.
Jenny June Tells Her Experience.
Jenny June said she compared her hus-
band to her father, and was very much in
ured at his habits differing from the par
ent's, until nice married friend told her
that she had not married her father, but
her husband, that she took him for "better
or worse" and that she ought to find all the
better she could, and think of it con-
s.antly. Beside, said the nice friend, ''if
you had little private talk with your
mother she might tell you some peculiarities
in your father that you would object 10 in
4 husband Mrs. Croly also said that she
lid not think husbands were as often dis
appointed in wives as vice versa, for willful,
selfish girls made faithful wives and SELL
sacrificing mothers. ga woman is not at
ler best until after she married. Marriage
, uroa, education opd fact Vounrx .,;,,,, |