davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

Modern Love.
Romeo-Conscnt to be my wife and
make me tae happicst Of mortals.
Jullet~Cndcr one condition.
"What's that?'
"Tou must give me some security that
you will pay the expenses of the di-
vorce in case we don't agree. Texas
Siftings.
"A New Map.
When Napoleon the First was in the full
tide OF success, over-running Europe at his
will William Pitt said to his secretary,
"lake that map down from the wall, and
roll it up; we shall not need it for fifty
years. In this country, our situation is
much the same: we have to put away our
old map as of no use, but unlike Pitt, we
never expect to need it again. His maker
OF new maps was Napoleon: ours the rail-
read. The biographies used in school forty
years ago are curicsities for a museum but
roads, we might use those same geogra-
plies with very little changes: The country
west of the Mississippi would still be the
''Mandan Territory and the "Great
American Desert.'' The railroads have
filled the west with cities and towns, and
pal ones than any other line. For tickets
maps and in orn'ation, write to w. ). c.
Kenyon, Gen. Pass Agent, St. Paul, Mimi
The man who keeps his mouth shut never
has to eat any crow.-Texas Sitinys.
The Only One Ever Printcd-Can You Find
the Word:
There Is 3 inch display advertisement
in this paper, this week which has no two
words alike except one word The same is
true of each new one appearing each week,
from The Dr.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house laccs n 'Crescent' on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful autographs or
samples free.
Don't pen missives to your best girl on
postal cards. She may have suspicion
that you do not care two cents for her
Union County Standard.
THE fisheries questionable You bring
the flAsk1-Kate Fields WASHINGTON
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26
LIKE A HERO,

A Man Who Remembered of His Asso-
ciate's Death.
An English civil engineer, Mr.. Fran
els H. Grundy, relates what he calls
1.-THE short story of an unknown hero. -
bill, the banker" he was called, and
even at the inquest over his body no
other name was forthcoming.
He was only poor navy; his usual
place was at the top OF forming en-
bankment, among the Tip wagons ~
During the building of the Manchester
and Leeds railway he was topman over
a shaft of one of the numerous tunnels
which were being constructed on the
line.
Here he met with gloriously dis
astrous accident, and his conduct should
be emblazoned in letters of gold upon
the history of his country. He was only
navy, ] said, and probably could
neither read nor write.
The shaft was perhaps two hundred
feet deep, solid rock sides and bottom.
His duty was to raise the trucks which
had been filed below, and run them on
the tip, returning them empty to his
mates at the bottom. If a chain broke.
or big bowlder fell off truck, he had
to shout: "Waur out!' and the miners
below crept farther into their ''drives, -
and allowed the death-dealing article to
come down harmlessly.
One unhappy day Bills foot slipped
hopelessly, and he knew that he must
he smashed from side to side of the mar
row shaft. and landed, crushed mass,
at the bottom. But his mates? If he
screamed, the unusual noise would
bring them out at once to inquire the
cause.
He never lost his presence of mind.
Clearly went down the signal: "Waur
out below!" and his mates heard in
safety the thud, thud, smash of his man
gled remains.-Youth's Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

No WONDER the minutes fly so fast-they
are making up time.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

A SHOW of opposition is very apt to be an
exhibition of folly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26
A FEMALE model is not necessarily mode
female. Journal

u.
BEECHAMs PILLS act like magic on the
liver and other vital organs One dose re-
leves sick headache in 20 minutes
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26
BUN

When you buy Flags you
want the best. Government
Standard is the best; the
largest flag dealers in the U.
S. are G.. w. SIMMONS
& CO., Oak Hall, Boston,
Mass. Dealers in Military
Uniforms. Write for a
Flag Catalogue.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

THE fisheries questionable you bring
the fiask1-Kate Fields Washington.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

FRESHNESS and purity are impaired to the
comP,!exlon by Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

SMALLPOX is breaking out again. 1t is
pitiful-N O. Picayune
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26
"A CIV Map.

The man who keeps his mouth shut never
has to eat any crow.-Texas Siitinys.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

Romeo-Conscnt to be my wife and
make me tae happicst Of mortals.
Juliet-Cnder one condition.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

Scorr BowNz, Chemists, 13s South 9Th Aveaue.
New York,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

In 1850 "BrotCn's Bronchial Troches' were
introduced, and their success us II cure for
Colds, Coughs, Asthma, and Bronchitis has
been unparalleled
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

"Iou must give me some security that
you will pay the expenses of the d.
vorce in case we don't agree. Texas
SiftinrS
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1892-05-26

ARK JENNINGS
was q n eXcep-
ton to the Ordi-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Drunkards' Excuses.

A drunkard is always ready TO excuse
his transgression, when charged with it
by one whose position makes it expedi.
ent that he should be conciliated. Some
times, as in the following specimens,
these excuses are amusing. An Irish
man not long since was summoned be-
fore bench of county magistrates fol
being drunk and disorderly.
DO you know what brought you
here?" was the question put to him.
Faix, yer Honor, two policemen" re
piled the prisoner.
"Had not drink something to do with
bringing you here? ?n said the magistrate
frowning.
Sortinly," answered Paddy, unabash-
ed they were both drunk"
Hilloa, James, tipsy as usual What
in the world has set you on a spree
now ?"
"Ah, you mauna be harsh, governor
did ye no hear my grand whistling cana
~ vas died :"
Stupid fellow! leaving 70 ur work
and getting drurk for the death of a
bird! Dent you know q man should
look upon such incidents as trifes?"
so I do, governor, so l do, man but
if ye wanted spree yersel, We wad be
glad Of any handle to turn the crane
WITH
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Too Sympathetic.

The manager Of s press syndicate sat
in his easy chair, and as hiseye wandered
with satisfaction over the luxurious ap-
pointments Of bis Office he said TO his
private secretary: How many publish
ers have accepted that story bought
the other day from Squswkey, the rising
young Wilkie Collins discovered in the
police courts ?"
Ten, seigniOr,s replied the respectful
secretary.
aHow much does each pay for it?"
Fifty dollars"
What did l give the fellow for it?"
zone hundred dollars"
Too much tso much" growled the
manager. These scribblers are too well
treated altogether. must do better
than this. Generosity and business
e1ght, in the nature OF things, to be sep
srSted as widely as possible. The next
one that comes in here, just watch me
turn him down"
His reflections we're interrupted by the
entrance ola young woman with q roll of
manuscript in her hand and face and
figure that quickly melted what the
manager used for heart, says the " y.
Tribune. How could he bear TO hurt her
feelings,
"Ihave written story" she be-
gan.
Yes, yes" he interrupted, "but as
sure you, miss, there is no demand for
stories Just now"
'1Perhaps not for ordinary stories" she
replied, with pretty assurance, @but this
one is different. The plot is entirely
original, and"
a have no doubt Of it, said the L. ana
ger, ~but the remuneration for such work,
even when original, is so small, and 50
many are engaged in it, that it really is
not worth your while, I am sure, to en-
gage in it"
sThe heroine on her death-bed writes
to a man who never saw her, telling
him Of her love for him Then she recov-
ers and tries to cut her throat with NOR
tification and
Modification is a hard thing to cut
with, know" said the manager, "and
few people can manage it, though when
once 1t is inserted in the throat it is gen
orally fatal, yet for all that"
q don't understand" she gasped.
q say the story, novel though it may
be, would not sell. could not offer you
anything worth while for it"
Nothing at aI?" she sighed, and her
violet eyes filled with tears.
4 am ashamed to name the small
amount of its actual value TO you." said
the manager, quailing before those
tears.
"Oh, don't mind that" she moaned.
I can bear it l think"
@"Well," said the manager nervously,
IF you insist I should say about SL5O,"
and he threw himself back in his chair
and mentally drew himself together TO
resist the food Of grief and reproach he
expected. lie was disappointed.
"DOyou me an ?" she chirped gayly,
jumping off her chair and advancing to-
ward him. " A dollar and half Take
it. Take it Oh, myw and she slap
PED the manuscript down on his desk,
held out her hand for the money, took it
with lavish smile, thanked him pro-
fusely and vanished.
Jewed again" grumbled the mana
ger as he dropped the story into his
waste-paper basket.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Electric Ritters.

This remedy is becoming so well
known and so popular as to need no spe-
cial mention. All who have used Elect
ric Bitters sing the same song Of praise
A purer medicine does not exist and it Is
guaranteed to do all that is claimed.
Electric Bitters will cure all diseases of
the Liver and Kidneys, will remove
Pimples, Boils, salt Rheum and other af-
fections caused by impure blood.-Will
drive Malaria from the system and pre-
vent as well as cure all MalaIial feyers-
For cure of Headache, Constipation and
Indigestion try Electric Bitters-Entire
satisfaction guaranteed or money refund
ed. Price SOC. and Sl-0O per bottle at j.
\. Snyder's Drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Misfortune's Benefits.

Talleyrand was the greatest diplomat
Of his day. His father was q military Of
ficer, and the boy would no doubt have
been educated to the same profession but
for an accident that befell him in child
hood.
After the fashion ofthe time he was
intrusted to the care of a woman some
miles away from home. While in her
charge his foot was dislocated by fall.
1t was not properly cared for, and his
parents Gid not become aware Of the
fact until it was too late to correct the
error.
The abnormal strain brought upon the
other foot soon induced a lameness in
that also. and the boy thus became a
cripple for life.
Thisseemi1g misfortune determined
a change in the plans of his parents for
him, and as 3 result the name of Talley-
rand has become one Of the most famil-
lar among the great ones of modern his
tory.
The history Of 8 certain American
family furnishes several similar exam
piles ofthe benefeent results Of disabling
accidents.
The young son of farmer in a small
town in Massachusetts had his hand
crushed in his fathers cider mill, and
being thus untitled TO gain his livelihood
by farming, was sent in cue time to the
academy to commence a preparation for
professional life. He died a member
OF the United States Senate.
A boy who belonged to another branch
Of the same family, in the vicinity ef BOs-
ton, cut his knee badly and was long
confined to the house. His kind pastor
supplied him with books, and perceiv-
ing thSf he had a natural aptitude for
study, taught hin Latin, and finally in
duced his pIrents to sen d him TO college.
The young man graduated at Harvard,
aud became a minister of the Gospel.
One Of his sons was general Of the ar
my Of 1872; another served his country
in Congress
The sen who entered politics had six
sons who were COLLEGE educated men, all
prominent in their profession, one judge
ofthe superior court Of New Hampshire,
and another professor for forty years in
,.eE Hampshire college and prominent
as an author.
All this life Of education and useful
ness, extending through three genera
tions. may be said to have started in a
little boys cutting bis leg.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
What He Feared.

..'While I was in England, SAYS one
woman, q was told Of an American who
on his first trip on an English railway
quite held his breath at the rapid run
ming When his NERVOUSNESS rather over
came him be approached the guard.
az say, guard, he ventured, this is
pretty dangerous for safety, isn't itg
"'0h, no, SIR replied the guard we
never run off the line here, sir
But, said the Yankee quickly re-
senting the patronage, 1t is not the line.
I'm afraid Of running off your confound-
ed little island IN !. TINES.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Wisdom BY Hard Knocks,

The ancients used 20 say that Vulcan
struck Jupiter on the head and the good
ness Of wisdom Jumped out, illustrating
the truth that wisdom comes by hard
knocks, writes Rev DR.. Talmage in the
Laaic Home Joarsai There was a river
Of difficulty between Shakespeare, the
boy holding the horse AT the door of the
London iheater, and the Shakespeare
the great dramsiist, winning the applause
Of all audiences by his tragedies. There
Was q rivor between Benjamin Franklin,
with loaf Of bread under his arm, walk
ing the streets Of Philadelphia, and the
same Benz amin Franklin, the philoso-
pher, iusi outside Of Boston, flying a kite
n the thunder 81 lrm. An idler was
cured of bis bad habit BY looking throug
his window, night after night, at man
who so,mod siltirg at his desk, turning
OF one sheet Of writing afler another
uqlii almost the dawn Of morning. The
man sitting there writing until morning,
WIS industrious Waller Scott the man
wlo looked at him through The window
was Lockhait, his illusirious biosrapher
af;eWard.
Lord Mansfield, pursued by the press
and by The populace, because Of = certain
line Of duty, weat on 10 discharge the
duty and while the mob were around
him, demanding the taking Of his life,
he shook bis fist in the face of the mob
and said. sins, when ones last end
comes, it cannot come too soon If he
falls 10 defense Of law and liberty of his
country And 50 there is, my friends a
tag, tussle, trial push an anxiety,
through which every man must 90 before
he comes to worldly cuccess and worldly
achievement. You admit IT. Now be
wise enough TO apply it in religion.
Eminent Christian character is only
gained by the Jordanie passage no man
Us. hsppeDens 10 get good.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
HELP, HELPl THE LADY PAINTS.
"'Tis the twink Of an cyc,
Us the Grsught Of a breath,
Prom the blossom OF health,
10 the palcuess OF death"

When sudden fainting spells come
upon 4 lady, You may always suspect
some uterine disturbances or trouble. or
some great disorder in the circulation and
nerve centers. a remedy that has al
ways proved successful in warding OF and
removing the tendency TO 4 recurrence of
fainting spells-that removes the cause
of them, corrects the circulation Of blood.
and gives TO the system that even run
ming nervous energy so essential, is DR..
Pierce's Fayorite Prescription.
The . Prescription is gisarrRteed to
give satisfaction in every ease, or money
refunded. Nothing else does as much.
You only pay for the good you get.
Can you ask more?
As regulator and promoter of func-
tional action, at the critical period Of
change from girlhood 10 womanhood,
"FavOrite Prescription is a perfectly
safe remedial agent. and can produce
only good results. II is equally eflica-
cious and valuable in its effects when
taken for those disorders and derange-
menrS incident to that later and most
critical period, known as "The change
OF Life.p
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
ItshouId be in Every House

J. B. Wilson, 81 Clay St, Sharpsburg.
Pa, says he viii not be without DIR,
Kings New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs aud Colds, that it cured bis wife
who was threatened with Pneumonia af
ter an attack Of La Grippe" when vari.
Gus other remedies and several physi-
clans had done her no good Robert
Barber, OF Cooksport, Pa, claims DR..
Kings New Discovery has done him
more good than anything he ever used
for Lung Trouble. Nothing ike it. Try
it. Free Trial Bottles at J. y. Snyders
Drug store. Large bottles, soc. and Sl.0O.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
Swift Flight of a Hawk.

The speed Of hawk or gull on the
wing is almost incredibly great. One Of
the swiffest hawks could make a circle
round the smokestack Of locomo tive
travelling 60 miles an hour; while gull
has oflen been known to fly before "a
vofable wind at the rate OF 100 miles an
hours Ions Globe- -Dsmcerot
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
BuckIen's ArnIca SaIve.

The best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
quired. 1t is guaranteed % give perfect
satisfaction, OF money refunded. Price
. cents per box. For sale by J. \. Sry-
der.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
All Right Now.

Mother (reprovingly Your teacher
says you have sixteen demerit marks.
Little Boy guess teacher hasn't
looked in her book lately. rubbed 'em
nnt-Gnod Ne.rs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11

have been troubled with chronic ca
tarrh for years. Ely's Cream Balm is
the only remedy among the many that |
have used that affords nae relief-E. W
Willard, Druggist, Joliet, III.
have been troubled with catarrh for
ten yesrs and have tried q number of
remedies. but found no relief until / pur-
chased bottle OF EIy's Cream Balm. l
consider II the most reliable preparation
for eatsrrh and cold in the head.-Geo.
E. Crandall, P. NJ, Qnonoehawntaug,
RI.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
No Name.

What do you call your dog?' asked
his uncle.
Don't call him anything" said Tom
my. " He comes when you whistle. -
HarpG's Young People
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
CONDENSED TIME TABLES.
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
Somerset and Cambria Branch
NORTHWARD.

JoiRsl0WR MAJ Efpress.-RockwOoi $50 a. m.
Somerset SIS, Stoyest0wn 6.2i, HO0yervilie
CS2, Johnstown. -.
J0lnS0irn Nal Erpross.-liockwood Ii.s-l a M.
Somerset lls5S, Stoye,tOgn la-25, HO0yersvilie
l2.57. Johnstown l:30 p. N.
Somerasf Accommodation lockwood so p. m,
Somerset 6:03 p. n.
Sunday AoeosRgfafioa-Ro lockwood n:S5 a. N.
Somerset, 1l:5s.
SOUTHWARK.
MaR-Johnstnwn rs a L., Hoovergine Ssi
StOyestOwn s;45, Somerset 9:i6, lockwood
90.
ErpTess-Johnstown $50 p. m. Hooversville f16
stoyestown 4:s0, Somerset 5,0l, lockwood
55
Ro,tssood qowmotaiioH-somerset G:I0 p. m,
lockwood 6ss5.
S,liiGV mHodG;ion-SOmerset sol p. m,
RoefwOOd SIS p. IN,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
sac 70 COMM .nce az 10 O'Clock, A. ".
JOHN HAMER,
Treasurer Of Somerset County, Pa.
TRKAsURER's OFFIcE
Somerset, April Is. 1872.

P. s.-PersOls paying taxes on sny Of the lands
advertised before the day Of sale. viii be chareed
IS cents FOR advertising and fees
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
PIk-RON

Is me name Of a paint of which 25c. bottle
IS enough TO make six scratched and dailed
cherry Chairs look Ike newly finished ma
hoganies. twill do many ether remarkable
shings which no other paint can do.
Al retailers sell II.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
TREASURER'S SALE
UNSEATED LANDS.

AgreeGbly to the provisions Of an Act Of As
sembly OF Pennsylvania. iirecting the mode Of
selling unseated lands for taxes, passed the l3th
day Of March. A. D.. lsl5, aud the several supple
ments thereto, the Treasurer of Somerset County.
hereby gives notice that unless the school. COun-
ty, Building and Road Taxes due on the follow
ing unseated lands paid before the day Of sale
the whole OF such part OF such traact partel OF
land as viii pay the taxes and costs Will be sold
al the Court House, in Somerset Borough, On
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11

SOMERSET.
SOUTHANPTOY.

Mineral Leases
25 Brown J. Wilcox, Mostoller John. Q 81
ll3 " d" Uriah.. Il
80 +" Pile Emanuel. II 80
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
JAMES B. HOLDERBAUM, Somerset P

Krssinger Kurtz Berlin Pa and P J. Cover Son. Meyers Pa
RENEMRER-Thlasz exempt hve-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
SUMNIT.


239 Roddy J. d, Scheli Wm. p,
Wolf D. and Gnsgy Johnl[ - 90
li1 " Lichty Abe 5.
30 Forward Ross. Berklcy Sam g
622 Miller John A., & Ehlen F.,
Miller b Is q
4s6 Beaehy, Keim & LiviDgood,
p ssylor Harmon, WALL 3
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-05-11
DENNSYLyANIA RAILROAD.
sCHEDmDE II EFFECT DEC. 80, 1881.
EASTERN STANDARD TINE.
DISTANCE ND FARR.
ooSDExsED SCHEDULE.
WESTWARD

Trains arrive ana depart from the station a
JOhnstOwn Is follows
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1892-12-10
Injured by a Meteor.

II am perhaps the only man in Amer
lea who was ever hit by an aerolite,"
said Colonel Sid Fontaine as he settled
down in big armchair at the Southern
and piled his crutches up beside him.
"I'm in the life insurance business, and
one day procured buggy and drove out
from Sedalia to farmhouse to settle up
loss. 1t was nightfall when | started
home, but the sky was clear, the road
good and | was making excellent time.
| noticed that there were an unusual
number Of shooting stars, and some of
remarkable brilliGncy. Suddenly the
road WAS lit up with glaro equal to
that OF tie loonday sun, only it had an
orange tingo. | glanced up and ball
of fire as large as my hat seemed to be
coming right down upon me.
Before could think. much less act,
it plunged into the buggy, binding me
for a moment by its glare, went through
and buried itself III the ground. It
bored a hole in the bottom of the buggy
as large as D SANGER and triangular in
shape. 1t made Kissing noise as it fell,
reminding me of the bluif Of an enor-
nous gander. My horse took fright
and had considerable difficulty in con-
trolling him. did not know that was
hurt until had ridden fully mile,
when my left foot began TO pain me. !
examined it aud found chat the great
toe was mashed flat and one of the
larger bones of the foot broken. That's
why | go on crutches. If | could find
that meteorite and dig it up think we
two might get position in dime mu-
scum. st. Louis Globe Democrat.