River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-08-04
TALKS TO MOTHERS.
vL-rmE rasY-GorsG MOTHER.
BY ONE OF THEM.

yI.-THE EasY-GoISG MOTHER.
copyright by Cambridge Literary Bureau and
Press, 1892
Is the easy-going the ideal mother?
After prolonged study of those who
err in other ways, and unconsciously,
often with the purest motives, work
great harm in the baby lives intrusted
20 their care, one is almost ready to
believe that the ability to 'let alone"
is the most valuable trait in a mother
Yet on looking closely into her ways,
and noting the results of her course,
that belief is sadly shaken. Let us OBJ
serve her a little.
The home of the easy going is over
run by babies, that being the easiest
way to get along. Now nothing is
sweeter than a wholesome baby, but
WHOLESALERS its mother-wants it al
ways in the foreground, its dressing
the most important event of the family
life, the details of its breakfast occu-
plying the whole household. and its nap
throwing a spell of enforced silence on
every one within the walls.
Out of the cradle the children become
even more pervasive; nothing is forbid
den them, and no care is taken to teach
them the difference between use and
abuse. In consequence there is not
clean or whole book on the premises,
not chair that is firm, not table I'M
mutilated. Boys ride the spring furni-
ture and harness the chairs, if they do
not hack and destroy to the top of their
bent. Girls bang the piano, take tea"
in the parlor, scatter cake and doll rags
at will.
They think they have good time; so
does their mother, who consoles herself
for present discomfort and the aliena-
ton of her friends by the belief that
they will outgrow all this lawlessness.
"Boys will be boys" is one of the first
articles in her creed. II is as if gar
dener should let the weeds grow up
among the flowers, in the belief that
they can be more easily disposed of
when of full size and well rooted, for
getting that the strong growing weeds
will long before that time have crushed
the life out of the flowers, and that
even if, by great labor, they are pulled
up and eradicated they will have
Scared and scanned surface.
Think of the martyrdom of a guest
in the home of the easy-going! Not
only are the children always under
foot. all sle chairs sticky, and bread
and butter on the sofa, but the small
tyrants themselves, with their noise
and unrestrained wildness. insist on
seeing her, probably soil her gown
with greasy fingers, handle her para
sol and fan, run off with her umbrella,
and often go so far as to dempld any
little thing in her possession that
pleases their fancy.
And how is the unframed child in 9th
er peoples houses? Is it not the ter
ror of the hostess, who breads his en-
croachments, his violence among the
pretty things which her own children
have been taught to respect? Is not
such child the true ''enfant terrible"
for which America is famous?
The effect upon the children them
selves is greatest. Left to their own
devices, with their wills unframed,
the seeds of carelessness and selfish
ness rapidly grow into weeds which
may take lifetime to root out. A sad
wrong is done to children who are de.
frauded of the necessary discipline,
who are not taught to respect the
rights of others, and to restrain their
own lawlessness. Because of this
neglect they are dreaded and feared by
every one who knows them. when with
little control they might have been a
credit 70 parents, JOY to friends, and
a welcome guest everywhere.
The daughters of such a household
come to womanhood with no habits Of
neatness or order, and no thoughtful
care for others. The case of a SON Is
even worse. A boy with that master
full and all-grasping nature, which,
duly controlled, is an element of success
in his future conflict with the world,
needs always careful drilling in respect
| for the rights of others, including ami
mails. He needs training in personal
daintiness, in civility, in gentleness of
manner. He is born a little savage
with great possibilities; he must be led
into the path of noble manhood: Led,
not driven, nor "nagged," still less al
lowed to reach maturity with all his
barbarisms upon him.
Self-training is a thing rarely at
tempted by grown man, accustomed
| TO indulge rather than to fight his in
clinations. The world will rudely teach
him external decency, show of regard
! for the claims of others, and certain
appearances indispensable to the respect
of his neighbors, but in his own home,
in the bosom of his own family, he will
TO the day of his death>display the self
| ishness. the carele~sness of the feel
ings or the wishes of others, the habits
of disorder so firmly built into his char
acter in his unfortunate boyhood.
The easy-going mother is frequently
the product of too severe training, in
which petty tyranny of some sort de-
stroyed any pleasure in life. IF l ever
have home," the daughter of such a
household is apt to think, when smart
/ ing under some of its harsh rules and
restrictions, eff / ever have a home
there shall be peace and comfort in it. :"
And so feeling, she naturally falls into
the opposite error. In trying honestly
and sincerely to do her duty, to secure
/ her household liberty, which is the
breath of life, she fails to draw the line
at license, and licenE., is as bad in its
! tendencies as the evil she wishes to
avoid. OLIVE THoRNE MILLER.