River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-08-25

window ticket behind ii, on walca were
the following words:
wilkins Ventilating Hat. Perfect
comfort. No suffering from heat by
want of ventilation. The wearer OF
t.Iis article enjoys life. The head Is
human. there is no deception. The
only establishment in which wilkins
Ventilating Hat may be obtained 1T
comes - boon and blessing 10 men,
like the Pickwick, the owl, and the
Waverly pen"
There was similar ticket behind
the head on the left
"The Ordinary silk Hat. Observe
how the unfortunate wearcr suffers
from the heat. Poor fellow. lie evil
IDENTITY wishes himself dead. The
common uaventilated hat OF commerce
Is fiendish invention. worthy of the
atrocities Of the worst days of the
Spanish inquisitiOn. The wearer of
an unventilated hat is hurrying to an
early grave The head IS human, there
Is no deception
noticed that the mahogany plank
ing OF the shop-front below the heads
was perforated with innumerable
small holes. then observed that there
was a vs-y great difference in the APP
pearance Of the faces of those wearing
the hats The gentleman wearing
Wilkins ventilating hat looked the
picture of contentment He smiled: he
seemed a IL b had attained the sum
mit OF human bliss. lie was evil
IDENTIFY very comfortable, indeed The
OtH"r head presented a striking con
trgs,. Never till now had | the least
idea that such dreadful effects were
produced bv the wearing Of su unven-
tilated hat. The face was as pale
as death. \ cold Precipitation
seemed 70 trickle from every pore.
F The mouth was set, as ough in agony,
and all through m nn initiated hat.
went away 70 a neighboring cook
shop to get biz IF dinner When
came back tn the hatter's window,
there were two fresh human heads in
1t; there evidently was no deception,
and the unventilated hat was again
producing the same dreaGfui effects
upon a totally different victim.
was puzzled; there was a mystery
/ somewhere, | determined 10 unravel
it, and boldly entered the shop.
What can l show you, sir?" said an
assistant, with excessive urbanity.
We'll. | want to see Mr.. Wilkins" I
replied.
That is Mr.. wilkins" said the man,
indicating portly and benevolent
( looking gentleman in a black silk waist
coat.
What can do for you, my MANI"
said Mr.. Wilkins.
I'D like To be in the way of earning
an honest haif-crown. sir" I replied.
Very good, my man. said Mr.. Will
/ kins, with smile. is there a vacan-
cy to-day Boldger?" said Mr.. Wilkins.
turning to foreman.
" es sir, certainly sir" replied the
man; I'VE shall be ready for the gem
| tleman in about twenty minutes"
Been here before, my man2" said
Mr.. wilkins to me. not unkindly.
Not ], Ireplied.
Then You'd better put him through
the mill, Boldger," said Mr.. Wilkins to
the foreman.
step this way, young man" said the
/ foreman % me.
followed him into lavatory
There you are" he said You're
/ in luck. young nan." he went on; half
a-crOwn for wearing a new hat for
three hours Is good pay. You'll be on
at three and You'll be off at six. This
gentleman Is waiting his turn; he
is one of our regulars
The gentleman who was waiting
his turn was a characterization wretch.
but his neck and face had been careful
/ ~ washed, and his hair well eombed
and brushed. | washed my face and
brushed nv hair, and in my hear.
I thought that t. wear an unventilated