The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-08-02
CHRONICLES OF lsea.
BY JULIAN WE'RE.


Chapter Ky. Senator Aldrich.
/. And it came to pass that Nelson
who Is called Aldrich, cast his garments
about him and departed from the laud Of
Roger Williams and journeyed to Jcru
sa lem which by Interpretation is Wash
ington, where abideth Harrison who hath
Ben in the White House for over three
years. Behold. Harrison is man of
valor, not fearing to say something when
headed and knoweth how to sling the
kings English, and washeth the obscurity
from political pointers and never slop-
peth over.
2. And when Nelson arrived within the
serene confines of Jerusalem he tarried
certain days in the temple where assem-
BILE the Sanhedrim, better known IS the
Senate.
2, And after many days he opened his
mouth and taught them wisdom and
knowledge; for ne is not like unto the
festive Mugwump, who dealeth only in
fine theories and escheweth facts as Of too
small account to De counted.
4. Neither is the son of our beloved
Little Rhody similar to Grover of avoir.
dupois fame for Grover is a man of ex-
ceeding much platitudes. And when the
man of platitudes speaketh the lame
neither walk nor the blind see half as we'll
as before, but the poor have the gospel Of
5. And Nelson, who is also called AL
drich, did show up the fallacies of free
trade as set forth In the Phiistne plat
form, upon which the giant of Philistia
6. And the RHODE ISLAND prophet
stood aud fought for projection for home
industry, showing that the necessares of
life were cheaper under protection, al
though the luxuries OF the wealthy were
often dearer.
z. Moreover, he pointed out the higher
pay OF the wage-earner, being ~ per cent.
higher than in free trade England.
s. And free trade hath no continuing
city in America; for the plain, honest,
common sense people are looking into this
perfect law OF liberty to earn ones bread
and butter, and when examined he will
continue therein, aud be blessed indeed;
for he demandeth good, honest protect
o. But the Mugwump beholdeth his
natural face i'm the glass and straigthway
goeth his theoriging way and forgetteth
that he ix an American citizen. Howbeit,
he blossoms well in theory, but beareth
none of the luscious fruit OF practical
tudinizer and is joined to the idols OF the
political set of the Holy Ambiguity.
10 But Nelson showeth that under the
Mckinley bill our exports are over 5000, =
OOO. 900 more than our imports, which will
bring gold aud silver To America instead
of sending it abroad TO pay foreigners for
more goods than we export under free
trade,
IL. And when he had given very much
facts all-sufIicient To have filled the empty
buckets Of ignorance with the pure waters
OF knowledge, the people were astonished
at his beautiful and practical doctrines OF
protection for home industry; for he
taught them as one having "A mighty
knowledge OF the truth aud not like the
free trade Philistines including the half
tribe OF Mugwump who fight as those
who beat the air.
IL And when the prophet Nelson had
fed the multitude with wisdom and know
ledge, there were gathered about twelve
baskets OF facts and published A. aii the
newspapers, 80 that nothing was lost.
IL 1nere arose n man of the Philis-
tines in great wrath and after pulling
down his vest pitched into the facts given
by the prophet Nelson; but the l., ilistine
soon found that his own statements wer.
like a lovely evening at the full of Lunt,
n beauty caused by immense quantities Of
pure and undefiled moonshine.
IA And without regard TO race, color
or previous condition Of servitude. prt :
lection was the victor aud, TO use an ORR
entail phrase, free trade pcgged out, white
Nelson came i'm several laps ahead on the
lTo pE coSTlsuED.l