Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-10-01

was sent out to all the precincts, with descrip.
ton, DC. 1t has been no small relief to tn,
authorities to get all the old soldiers safel,
gathered together and shipped away to theil
homes.
The question most often asked by the vet
Grams on their walks abroad was where tn,
Smithsonian Institution was to be found They
remembered it as the place Of most particula,
interest during war times, when Washington
had not SO many attractions as now. As to tn,
character and purpose Of the National Museum
they seemed to entertain . rather indefinite
notion. One Of them ing uired Of the door
keeper where the living skeleton and othe,
freaks were to be found. Another wanted te
know II the thsater box in which Lincoln wal
shot was on exhibition in the building. Still
another expressed desire to inspect the stuffed
corpus Of the cat which jumped from
the top Of the Warrington monument awhile
ago, though no such curiosity is known to exist
Another manned hero on his way to the Army
Medical Museum declared that he was COINS
thither to shake hands with an arm that hac
once belonged to him. Such objects as this
illustrative Of the mischances Of war; are kept
IN alcohol, and it was probably misunder.
standing OF this circumstance that led an old
fellow in blue uniform to ask mysteriously al
the door Of the Army Medical Museum If he
could see some Of the "spirits." He supposed
that the government had a lot Of spooks in jars
on exhibition.
| BY ASKING QUESTIONS.
The veterans got about town by asking
questions. Everybody who did not wear
badge was presumed by them to be citizen OF
Washington and was buttonholed at every turn
for directions. 'What is the way to Psnnsyl-
vania avenue?" asked an angular G. A. r.
woman Of policeman in the Smithsonian
grounds. Pointing to q serpentine road that
| ha rQy,Isn I'D . T,,ot foll4
nose along that path" "But my nose is very
crooked" she said. $50 is the PATH" he re-
joined, with the utmost gravity. Another
female rushed up to one Of the Information
booths" and exclaimed:
| where is my husband Jacob?"
Don't know him, ma am" was the reply,
| why, you must know Jacob" she insisted
II lost him on q street car half an hour ago.
Oh, my! What shall l do?" then she hurried
| away.
| FUNNY QUESTIONS.
| Some of the questions asked at the informa-
ton booths were very funny. These are few
of them:
"Does President Hayes still live at the White
House,"
do you sell suspenders?"
How many cars are there on the B. and o.
railroad?''
Where can 1 get the biggest stovepipe of
beer?"
| At the junction Of Pennsylvania avenue and
| 10th street was an ornamental structure about
twenty feet high, in the shape Of monument.
built Of boards and whitewashed. An old SOL
dler stopped Mt the information booth close by
and asked about it. Said he: $50 that's the
Washington monument I've heard tell SO much
about Why. it amt SO awful big, come to look
at IT, We have tombstones in our cemetery at
home that are pretty nigh as tall
quite a number OF veterans seeking the great
cd in % 81
country spoke Of it as the Grand Tower :"
There was an Information Office at the foot of
II, only few steps away, at which many Of the
sightseeing visitors asked where the Washing
| ton monument was, while it lowered before
them in full view to its majestic height Of $50
| feet
Gimme plate of raw oysters and half a
pie! said one gallant survivor Of the war to
the attendant in charge of this act-distributinp
booth. Another wanted to buy socks At the
Army Medical Museum several people who
registered their names in the visitors book
thought that they were signing for a meal and
came back afterward to get their supper.
TOUCHING SIGHT,
touching and pathetic spectacle was that Of
blind old soldier, led around by little girl,
who told him all about what she saw. As ne
mentioned this and that old landmark his face
would light up with pleasurable recognition.
Eyes. yes remember" he would saw. seeing
with her eyes the scenes and objects long ago
familiar.
Just within the main entrance Of the Depart
ment OF Agriculture's building was exhibited
model OF an ocean steamship built for carry
ing American cattle to Europe Many of the G.
A. X. visitors thought that it represented one
Of Uncle Sans new war vessels, and one of
them. explaining things to party, said: That's
the Monitor. that licked HI out of the Merri-
mac"
An enthusiastic veteran in the east room at
the White House explained to his friends in the
crowd what ''gosh-almighty fine place" he
considered Washington to be.
Boys" he shouted, slspping his chest with
pocket and I'm goin' to spend every dad-gasted
cent of it before leave this gol-darned town.
AT THE BARRACKS
near the Washington monument eight type
writer's were kept constantly busy writing let
tiers for the old soldiers. Machines and opera
tors were furnished free, as well rs envelopes
and paper. "An for nothin'?" exclaimed a
one-armed hero. "Then I guess Won NAV Let
her 60. just say: Dear Wife: 1 am all right.
Hot as HI! Goodbye"
Many OF the visitors had never seen a type-
writer before. A woman, pointing at one
asked what kind of = sewing machine il was
Another took it for sort Of piano and wanted
to know whether the operator could NAV anv
tune on it." Being fatigued with much oues-
tioning he replied, why. certainly"
"Can you play Hail Columbia on it2" de-
manded his interlocutor.
"Oh, yes, ma'am."
do 1t, please" said the woman.
The operator printed the words Hail Colum
bia on a scrap Of paper, handed it over. and
started In to write a letter for man who had
been robbed on his journey hither of every
penny he had. Fortunately he had retained
his return railway ticket, and he dictated a few
cheerful words for his family, sayin9 thSt be
was enjoying himself, and not mon ionipg III.
misfortune nor referring to the fact that he Wa
living on free lunches. ~
III NOT GOOD AT p1crArIoN.
Most OF those who employed the services Of
the tyPevriters found the art Of composition by
aic'auon rather beyond them. They could not
.nink OF anything to say So the operators asked
.nem what they had been doing In Washineton
ana WHAT they had seen here, framing the facts
eic''ea IN suitable language and filing in with
TWO or three stereotyped sentences about the
Parade, the fireworks and the city. One old
soldier when asked what he wished TO saw be-
came quite indignant Said he: 81 thought
you advertised to write letters; that's your
business, amt it?" Commonly the applicant
would remark: "Just write me letter. You
know what to put down better than do"
One expert in mendacity dictated: "Dear
vic! have just bought typewriter and have
learned how to operate it Twill bring IL home
and teach YOU" Another Ansnias requested
the operator to raise the number of mon in the
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