davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
The GentlemanIy Caller.

The mistress of the house had come to
the door in response to a message to the eff
feet that a gentleman wished to speak with
her few moments on a matter of business.
81 beg pardon for troubling you, mad
am" he said, lifting his hat, "but / am
the bearer of a letter addressed to you per
sonally."
She opened the note he handed her. 1t
read as follows;
Mrs. Rambo:
DEAR MADAM-This will introduce to you
Mr. Cyrus Barker, a gentleman belonging to
one of the oldest and most respectable families
of Kentucky. He Wits your city on business
the nature of which he will himself explain.
HIRAM swIoGIN.
''Hiram Swigginp'' said the lady in some
perplexity. II do not recall the name.
Who is her"
"Mr Hiram Swiggin," replied the polite
stranger, ''is member of one of the oldest
and best known families of Virginia, who
traces his ancestry clear back through
colonial days to the reign of good Queen
Elizabeth. Hiram Swiggin is man whom
am proud to call my friend. Hiram Swig
gin, madam, is genius. He''-
'But what is the nature of the bust
uess''-
"I am coming to that in a moment. Par.
don me, but when get to talking about
Hiram Swiggin am very apt to lose my,
self. He is a man whose wide range of in
formation, general grasp of current events,
fertility of resource and marvellous powers
of self command awaken the admiration OF
all who know him. Hiram Swiggin," con-
tinued the caller. opening a small sachel
be carried in his hand, sis the inventor and
patentee of little article to which ] wish
to direct your attention a moment 1t il
called the Ladies' Prerequisite, and is, as
you see, a combined hairpin, buttonhook,
glove fastener. hatpin, nail polisher and
tweezers, the regular retail price of which
Is sixty-five cents, but which / shall take
pleasure in offering to you, on condition
that it be regarded as strictly confidential
for the merely nominal sum Of fif'--
At this point she loosed the dog.-Chi-
ca0o Tribune.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
An Estimate of Matthew Arnold.

Matthew Arnold, the famous essayist,
after his return to London from his first
lecturing tor in the United States Wis
tied old Mrs. Proctor, widow of the poet.
BARRY Cornwall, and mother of AIDE
laide Proctor. Mrs. Proctor, who was
then eighty years old, in giving Mr.. Ar
mold cup OF tea, asked him:
s.And what did they say about you IN
American
"Well," said the literary autocrat,
ssthey said l was conceited, and they
said my clothes did not cit me-"
"Well, now," said the old lady, 81
think they were mistaken as to the
clothes. "-London Tit-Bits.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

English SPAWN Liniment removes
all hard, soft or caIloused Jumps and
BIemishes from horses, Blood SPAWN
Curbs, Spiints, Ring Bone, Sweeney
STILES, Sprains, Sore aud Swollen
Throat, Coughs, etc. Save $50 by use
of one bottle. Every bottle warranted
by A. B. Rains, Druggist. may6-ly
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
Now TRY This.

Tt will cost you nothing and will
surely do you good, If Sou have a
Cough, Cold, or any trouble with
Throat, Chest or Lungs. DIR. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption,
CosgEs and Colds is guar anteed to
give relief, or money will be paid
hack. Sufferers from La Grippe
found il iast the thing and under its
lIse rad speedy and perfect recovery.
FRY sample bottle at or expense
and learn for yourself just how good
q thing ii is. Trial bottle free at
yVoldrjdge. Irvine q TOWERS drug
store. Large size soc. and Sl;OO
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
ScOtf'S Emulsion
deC9
BY The SEA.

"a morn beside the oceans foamy roar
walked soft Swallowed through the luminous
mist,
And saw not clearly sea or land, nor wist
Where the tide staid, nor where began the
shore.
A gentle seward wind came down. and bore
The scent of roses and of ayberry;
And through the great gray veil that hid the
Broke the pale sun~a silvery warmth-not
more.
So through the fogs that cover all this life
l. walk as in a dream 'twiXt sea and land
The meadows of wise thought, the sea OF
And sounds mad happy scents from either
hand
Come with vast CLEANS thatsPread and softly
shine -
The joy of life, the energy divine
Archibald Lampman in Youths Companion.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
RnckIen,s Arnlca SaiYe.

The best saIve in the world tor Cots,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rbeum.
Fever Sores, T5tter Cbapped lands,
Chilbla1ns, Corns, anc all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
osy reUujred, 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded
Price 70 cents per box. For sale by
Woodbridge, Irvine IL fowler. dec2 ly
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
rheumatism Cured in a Day.

"Mystic Cure" for rheumatic m and
neuralgia radically cures in one to
'hree days. It's action upon the sys-
tenn is remarkable and mysterious
1t removes at once the cause, and the
disease Immediately disappears. The
first dose grestIy benefits, IS cents
Sold by A. Il. Rains, druggist, Column
hia, Tenn. mayo 1y
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
DIR. HaIe,s Household Ointment

Is the finest remedy in the world. 1t
absolutely cures catarrh. 1t cures
neuralgia and rhumatiam. Cures piles
like magic. Cures salt rheum in the
most soothing manner. Cures IN
famed and graduated eyelids. Cures
coughs and colds. Can be taken in
ternally. A positive specific for pneu-
monia, cuts, bruises, burns, chilblains,
sores of long standing, corns and bum
ions are cured quickly; different from
all else superior to all else; 1T has NO
equal: 25 and SOC. boxes. Large size
cheapest. Sold by A. B. Rains, drug
gist. deeply.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
pilesl Pilesl Itehing Piles.

Symptoms = Moisture; intense Itch
ing; most ali night; worse by scratch
ing. If allowed TO continue tumors
form, which often bleed and ulcerate,
becoming very sore. Swayne's Oint-
ment ~stops the itching and bleeding,
heals liberation, and in most cases re-
moves the tumors. At druggists, or by
mail, for so cents. DIR. Swayne q Son,
Philadelpbia. OCT I'm
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

"You never read my books" said an EN-
inent historian in tone of pretended jeal
ousy and distress to his little boy, whom
be found bending eagerly over tale Of
cowboy exploits, hairbreadth escapes and
wild adventure "N-no, papa" was the
apoIogetic answer. 81 will by and by,
when Pm older, but now only like books
that are interesting. "-Argonaut.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
Rheumatism Cured i'm a Day.

"Mystic Cure" for rheumatism and
neuralgia radically cures in one to
three days. Its action upon the sys-
tenn is remarkable and mysterious.
1t removes at once the cause and the
first dose greatly benefits, rs
cents. Warranted by A. B. Rains,
druggist Columbia Tenn. oct4 6m
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
How to Cure All Skin Diseases.

Simply apply "Swayne's Ointmentl'
No internal medicine required. Cures
tetter, eczema, itch, all eruptions on tie
face, hands, nose, etc, leaving the skin
clear, white and healthy. Its great cu-
rative powers are pqssessed by no other
remedy. Ask your dfssggist for Swaynsfs
Ointment. oct7 ON
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
How It Was.

An English lady who visited America
many years ago used to tell the following
story;
On the voyage she was one day shocked
by seeing a ships officer knock down one
of the crew who was inclined to mutiny.
So much did the sight affect her that she
retired to her cabin, and did not again ap
pear on deck until land was sighted Then
she perceived at the wheel the manw who
had received the blow. Approaching him
she asked, with deep sympathy;
GLOW is your head nOwY
"West and by nor. ma am" was the an
svyer-Tit-B
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
The Height of Bliss.

Jus think, Roderick, my brothers goin
to give me a whole pint o. peanuts fer
ChfstmasI Don't you wish yer was me?"
"Awl Peanuts! I'm goin ter have sum
thin worth havin, be. My brudder's
goin ter take me all through der morgue. ="
-BrookIyn Life.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
JournaIistic Item.

Jones-HelIo, Smith; back from the
west AGAIN. What did you do out therei
Smith-Started paper.
"Ahal What was the name of TT"
"a subscription paper to get me back
east again. ''-Texas Siftings.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

81 MAY HEV TO DODGE DE- RoLLIN PIN.
my wrinkled brow wild tender hand, but
widin twenty-four hours / may hev to
dodge de rcllin pin as come in by de side
doah. Do yo' foller me, Brudder John
ermf"
"Yes, sabn
''Moas' of us marry fur luv Yo' am
doubtless gwine to marry fur de same rea-
SON. Dat luv am GURUS thing. It's like de
watermillyon season-mighty good while
it lasts, but bound to give way to cabbage
an turnips arter few months. It's warm
wave follered by cold wave. De gal who
'peared to be an angel who had escaped
from heaven turns out to be muffin but
human bein, wild all human bein's faults.
De man who 'peared to be a great hero, fit
TO sit on throne, turns out to be jest com
mon flesh an bones, an he jaws bout de
butter an growls bout de coffee. Pve sot
down on de sunny side Of a straw stack an
dun heap o. thinkin bout dis matter, an
de conclushun has come to is dat we all
doan' start in jest right. If Mrs. Gardner
should die should marry gin, although
] am now clus on TO sixty Vars old. ]
-should do some figgerin. should hgger
onr0lnance lastin from TO- to eight weeks
Den / should figger on taters an bacon an
SQUALLS an\nurricanes an cyclones should
map out a cO'se fur myself an stick to it.
It would be Nde same coSe 1 has pursued
fllr de last ten y'ars-viz: Allus be de same,
no matter how de ole woman am. Be de
boss. Be coo1Ssn calm. Doan' jaw back.
AFTER a wife sawed away fur three
hours widout gittin a woEd back she'll git
discouraged. Be kind, but be firm. Sym
pathize wild her if she signs fur diamonds
an q sealskin sack, but doan, git 'em fur
her. When yo' come home an find her hap
pyan content pat her on de back. When
yO' find her ready to bust,wid indignashun
cause she can't keep two hired gals an ride
in her own keeriAge jest keep quiet an
doan' let on dsty am listenin."
Yes, safI, - dutifully replied Daybal1 3
"Doan' start out wild de ideah, Brudder
johnson. dat yo'r wife am gXine to do thus
an so. or be this OF that. YdNNRn't be suaL
81 muffin. by com binashpIb 30 authority.
lz4fn, arerln an fuflyiyin, 20 kin keep a
y is on lser aide Of dr fence moas' of de
81 la, but rhrn sis ells spollon so must
d az out ftf stlinters ~ alfcongr atulate
s. % de Dishus event IA hope fur de
j r5fF bc a. club We nebbeE gin pres
ciib but IS hen 20 leave we're tonight 70
knteka al5ne one o. dem cocoanuts from
q shell s. &c roem IS a parlor orna
Il cot III & 1oinento u Qe esteem IN which
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
rHE eLuEE THAT FAILED.

II He Hadn't Lisped 1t wouIdn't Have
Been So Bad.
There were fifteen or twenty of us in the
little passenger depot at Julesburg' wait
ing for the west bound train, which was
due at o:45 p. m. / sat near the open door,
and about a quarter of an hour before
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30


Love Is a Curious Thing. but mighty
Good while II Lasts.
Copyright. Is03. by Charles B. Lewis.1
IF Brudder DaybaH johnson am in de
hall tonight he viii please step dis way"
said Brother Gardner after the routine
business of the last meeting of the Lime
kiln club had been concluded.
Rayball was present. He arose and APP
preached the presidents desk
'Brudder Johnson" continued the old
man as he smiled beniguly upon him, Il
Iarn dat yo' am bout to git married to a
young gal"
''Yo' has saved up sebenteen dollars in
cash, got cook stove. TO chars, a bed
stead an a piece oh oilcloth to go to house
keepin on, an yo' expect OF co'se to be
VERY happy"
Eyes, sab"
''Waal, truly hope yo' will be. but dar
am a few things / want to say to yo'-
Woman am a Gurus critter, Brudder John
soma very GURUS critter. has bin mar
ried to Mrs. Gardner risin OBJ fo'ty Vars,
but I can't say dat l thoroughly under
stand her yit. Moas' men settle down into
a groove after bit. an wife knows
bout whar to find 'em any day in de week,
but yo' can't tell bout wimin. Dey nebber
settles down. One night yo' may go home
from work an find 'em singin I Want to
! BE an Angel but on de VERY next dey
am cufln de chillen right an left an
rafs5p de roof cause dey hain't got silks
an shtins and diamonds. ! hev sot down
on Monday eavenin wild my ole woman
TO play checkers an beaten her six straight
times widout any fuss. Deed she would
be as good as pie ober It. ] hev sOt down
4 1. 10
fust game got she would pick up dat
ulsiiacker bod an smash 1t ober my head an
~ would apply fur divorce de
W, know what cratic means.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

Patient-As we have known each other
so long, doctor. do not intend to insult
You by paying your bill. But have left
you handsome legacy in my will
Physician-Yery kind of you, am sure.
Allow me to look at that prescription
again. There is slight alteration should
like to make in it.-New York Herald.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

r buzzin around, like a
Is..-f.. 49,. l.. I..kRar

'hunCih 90 iasses, nippin de ole mans
bald head an divin into de sugar bowl.
When yo' reach out fur him he hain't dar.
When yo' spect to find him under de ia
BILE he's out to de ban bodderin yo'r mewl.
AIoas' all wimin am jest like dat. One day
dey'n patch an darn an cut ober and be as
humble as cats. On de VERY next dey'll
riS up and frow yo'r ole clothes outer de
winder and pull ha'r cause yo' hain't wort
a millyon dollars. AFTER had libed wild
Mrs. Gardner twenty Vars / thought
had her down fine an could tell jest whar
to disRfFeT her, but went home one night
to find she 6ssl sold de furnichure an
filed bill fur divorce on de grounds of
cruelty. One day she am ready to smooth
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

A IfftIa alIsf Hkaes By Ex-Judge
MAJ leafh from a reli-
a ed, esteemed fellow
6 6ns IKE ylne Bdrlse, who went
fa4 sE before election, will
& return for several months
ecfle to rein4ift there perma-
f. Ft'e ~ setsns that Che Judge not only
tliII b at ae had legal right 70 vote
fIf stA5e after being there four days,
M lot mixed up as to tickets and
s..tfes and tried to vote two big re
The inspectors refused to accept
y rs. Ind when the judge insisted IN tha'
4ifist and pigheaded way q his Tiers
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

ge and scratches Of every
nan or animals, cured In
" Woolford's Sanitary
everfails. Hplf " A.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
ANOTHER FAILURE.
A Girl who Was '.shOok" for HerseIi

A Girl Who Was ''ShOOk' for Herself
Alone.
They were not actually but tacitly en-
gagged. He had exhibited a hundred Q0O)
evidences of his state of feeling toward her.
on q dozen (l2) different occasions while
riding out in dogcRrt he had been on the
point of asking her if she would be his'n,
Int the horse had switched his tail over the
line. or % policeman had yelled at him to
keep to the right, or something else had
occurred Just at the critical moment Size
was an heiress-that is, she was an only
~ child, while her father was a man of
wealth $500, 340.l4). She OF course wanted
to be loved for herself alone. She had been
loved numerous about 25) times before, but
little investigation had always satisfied
her that the chaps were sordid wretches at
heart, who were after capital to start in the
condensed coffee Warranted strictly purel
business
With FitzjRmesit seemed to be different
She had approached the subject Of cold
cash on several (5) occasions, but he had
seemed totally Indifferent Only on one a.
occasion had be expressed the slightest in
terest, and then it was to say that il he
ever married it would be for the romance OF
living on six dollars ts6) week. Still she
felt il her duty to test him as she had test
ed the others. II he proved to be dross,
then she would tear his photograph lcabt.
net size) from her heart. If be came out Of
the fire pure gold. then she would say yes"
quicker than scat. They were riding on
the boulevard. Everything was calWIan
quiet Hewas driving -
was about to slide his n
waist to act as a brace
quer
did ,sou hear that al
''Nop be repliesrnan
alarm
II am SO gladl'' q
looked away into che
many (l50) times has
the daughter Of a no
wish has come tr1s
ssYou--yon dcnft 3,
Be sclzsa the lines ~
turnea ttia.
''Bas o. Zedss
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
Near the Truth Perhaps.

-NeHE EII5 AIutII = q I"P7'
I wrote, Patti will make her last fare
tour of America in the year 1894, and
'zu,s5.unrinted it sin the year 1874. ,
krious errorp
an errorg''-Life.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
BROTHER GARDNER HAS A FEW RE-
MARKS ABOUT WOMEN.

Most Men settle IN Groove. but the
Women, where Are They9-He Thinks
Love Is Curious Thing. but mighty
Good while It Lasts.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30
What is

Castoria cures Collie, Constipation,
Sour Stomach, Diarrhea, Eructation.
Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes di
gestion,
Without injurious medication.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

"For several years I have recommended
your Castoria, and shall always continue TO
Go so as it has invariably produced beneficial
RESULTS
EDWIN f. PARDEE, NJ D.,
1a5th Street and 7th Ave, New York City.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

1.-THE use of 'Castoria is universal and
its merits SO well known that it seems q work
of supererogation to endorse it. Few are the
intelligent families who do not keep Castoria
within easy reach"
CARLOS MARTIN, D. D.,
New York City.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

I 'Castoria is so well adapted to children that
recommend it as superior to any prescription
known to me- II. A. ARCHER, NJ. D.,
III So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, n. Y.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-12-30

IL an errors1-Life,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-11-22
ODDS AI:E ON YALE.
Eoth Teams in Fine Condition for Thur
DAVIS tnnt Eall Watch at New York.

Eoth Teams in Fine Condition for Thurs
days Foot Ball Match ut New York.
NV IoRE. Nov. 22.-Toright will see the ar
rival IN this city OF the first of the many hun
drs1s or strangers who will come 10 New York
to sec the Thank sgiyIng day foot ball game
The Yale and Princeton eIevens will arrive to-
morrow afternoon and with them will come the
majority OF the undergraduates from the two
colleges.
Every seat in the stand on the north side of
I the field has long been sold, has also every
seat In the covered grand stand.
Out Of a total of $4,000 seats more than
p 900 have been taken.
There IL standing room in Manhattan field
for about $4,000 persons.
The betting on the game has now become
brisk. The Yale men are especially anxious to
avail themselves of any suitable offers, FOR,
although Yale won the game from Harvard
they lost slightly or their bets. There more
betting on the sco,e of the Springfield
gam" than On its result. Meny of Yale's sup
poriers who won money on the result Of the
game really lost more than they won because
Tale failed To score more than six points
They are now anxious to make up their
losses and the lowering Of the odds on tine
lsle-PrInceton game, due to the somewhat
poor showing made by Yale at Springfield. has
gwen them n fair Oyportuuity. Several small
waSers at odds OF five to four or four 20
three on Gale have already been made Letween
The undergraduates. and pool Of nearly 81. OOG
will be sent down from New Haven tomorrow
To be fla ed a; the best ubtainable odds
There k,s also been considerable betting
. among Che graduates in this city. One prOmi.
Eent Yale graduate has bet 81 900 20 ESQ that
Yale vii. win by NJ least ten points. A number
OF other bets. ranging between SOS and $500
have also been made while countless private
vacers have been made on the result OF the
game.
Yale men are especially confident of success,
becaus" th-s expect that the Yalo team will be
coached daring tire actual playing of the game
from the ,i6e Il the field by two OF her most
Industrious ca ta!ns Os recent years
The Yale team has now entirely recovered
from the effects o: the Springfield game and all
She men are III the best of condition for Thurs
d1V.
The members Of the Princeton eleven are
also ~ fine shape. and as neither team is doing
asy hard work 1t il unlikely that any Of the
Inen Will be injured before the contest
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-11-22
OHIO'S OFFICIAL VOTE.
One Democratic EIector and the Republican
State Ticket Chosen

One Democratic EIector and the Republican
State Ticket Chosen.
COLUMBUS, ONO, Nov. 22.-The secretary O!
state now has all the returns from the late
election complete except the vote on the state
ticket in Fayette county. This has not been
officially returned, but the exact figures have
been ascertained.
The total vote in the state. according to
figures prepared by Col. Poorman, was
S54. 203.
In the last four years the vote ought to have
increased not less than IS. 600, and it was esti-
mated that the total vote this year would reach
49,, 900 at least. 1t is more than 40 600
short of this figure. and the reasona-
BILE supposition is that nearly, if not
quite that many voters took so little
interest in the election that they remained
away from the polls.
The totals on presidential electors give Dan
ford, republican, plurality OF 1,074 over Sew
ard. democrat. and that will be accepted as the
republican plurality in the state. Dan
ford ran 2,476 ahead Of the other
ticket, whom Seward, democrat presidential
elector, beats by plurality of ,4O2 s. NJ
Taylor ran behind the presidential ticket in
more ways than one, his plurality over W. A.
Taylor. democratic candidate for secretary Of
stale. being 973 The pluralities Of other can
didates cannot be figured out for some time vet
CINCINNATI, OHIO, Nov. 22.-The official
vote Of Ohio at the election November 8, or
enough to make a record for future reference,
is az follows: Presidential electors-Danford
republican. 48b, 1877; other republican candi-
dates, 402. 709; Seward. democrat 404, 113;
other democrat candidates. 40. 46I; people,
14.sls; .prohibitionist, 26,OO7. s. NJ. Taylor,
republican. for secretary Of state, 402, 545; w.
A. Taylor. democrat for secretary Of state,
40l 454