Morning journal and courier., 1892-07-28
IMPOSSIBLE.

1t is almost impossible to think of some
men reaching good old sge.-Texas Sift-
ings.
"Never mind, old man. Her halo in heaven
will not be big enough to get in any ones
way."-Puck.
Buskins-I read this morning of a man
who didn't want the earth and yet got it.
Hamfatter-Who was hei Buskins-A
parachute performer-his parachute re-
fused to open.-Judge.
Clubberly-Do you think your reception
is going to be as much of a success as Miss
Van Winkle'sl Miss Pinkerly-Oh, dear,
yes! Why, she had only five detectives at
hers, and there are six here.-Judge.
Mrs. Baeley dropping into a chair and
throwing off her bonnet)-We had such
lovely time at the conversszione this after
noon. One of the members has separated
from her husband Mr.. Bsgley-Andi
Mrs. Bagley-And she was not present.
Boston Post.
"Say, Bill" said the tramp to his part
ner "Whatf' ''They's a fly on yer nose. 1"
81 know it." "Why don't yer brush it
off" Zoos 1 think the winds going to
wave this here weed in a minute. Wot's
the use of exertin' yerself uselessI"-
w houluStOu otai-
Miss Wabash (from Chicago)-What
nonsense these jokes about crabs
catching peoples toes arel I've never
had a crab catch my toes when 1 was in
bathing. Miss Gotham-But there is a
limit to crabs grasping power.-New
York Herald.
Cobble-Winder is the strangest fellow
about come things. He wears 25 cent
| necktie with $50 suit and thinks he is
| saving money. Stone-Well, he does.
| doesn't hea Cobble-I don't see how.
Stone-He has to pay for the necktie-
Clothier and Furnisher.
Dead Beat (humbly to swell, old time
friend of his)-Lend me five, Bob. Swell
! (handing it over)-Now, old man, for good
ness sake don't go and spend it in drink.
Dead Beat (haughtily, pocketing the two
half slf-crowns)-What right have you, sir, to
dictate to me how should spend my own
moneya-Tit- Bits.
| Insurance Agent came to call your
attention to the fact that your policy ex-
pires to-day and beg you to renew it.
Econimist-Very sorry. but this is the
company and nothing has happened, so
compsny.-Fliegende Blatter.
Father-Why, am told that you are in
love with Signora Fontalba di Politeamal
Son (excitedly)-Just 30, father; and il
you have anything to say against this
estimable lady, be good enough to wait
till am out of hearing. Fsther-Oh!
merely wished to tell you that 1 oourted
the Signora myself when was your age.
LA Epoca.
Aunt Betty, looking at . pretty rural
scene at the psnorama-Now, Nettie, child
that takes me back to when wss q young
girl and loved innocent sport. Nettit
looked, but the scene had changed to 6
group of ballet dancers-Why, Aunt Betty
/ had never thought 1t of you. But Aupi
Betty had fainted.-Inter Ocean.
ooh, no, ma'am," pleaded the tramp
"you may think my life all sunshine, but
1t amt. Wherever 60 am beset with
dangers. In short, ma'am, carry my lif.
in my hands" "Ah, seel" exclaimed hi,
temporary hostess, "thst accounts for yor
not washing your hands. You don't dare
to do 1t for fear you'll drown yourself."-
Texas Siftings.
Miss Antiqus-You ought to get mar
Red, Mr.. Oidohapp. Mr.. Oldohspp learn
estly)-I have wished many times lstel,
that had Q wife. Miss Antique (delisht
ed)-Have you, reallyi Mr.. Oldchapp-
Yes, If had q wife, she'd probably have
sewing machine, and the sewing -machin
would have an oil-can, and I could take 4
and oil my ofice-chair. It squeaks hor
ribly.-New York Weekly.