Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-01-10
sspoken like nv own true wife!- There,

Spoken like my own true wife! There
kiss and be friends again.
"But-Gwendolen! I don't know how
am ever going to stand that name. Why,
body wouldn't know Sally Sellers in it. IT,
too large for her; kind of like cherub il
an ulster, and it's most outlandish sort O.
q name, anyway, to my mind"
"You'nnot hear her find fault with it, my
lady"
''That's true word. She takes to any
kind of romantic rubbish like she was borr
to it. She never got it from me. that.
sure. And sending her to that silly college
hasn't helped the matter any-just the Other
way"
'Now hear her, Hawkins! Roweno, Ivan.
hoe College is the selectest and most aristo.
cratic seat of learning for young ladies in
our country. Under no circumstances can
girl get in there unless she is either very
| rich and fashionable or can prove -four
generations of what NAV be called Amer
lean nobility. Castellated college build
| ings-towers and turrets and an imitation
moat-and everything about the place
named out of Sir Walter Scott's books, and
redolent of royalty and state and style; and
all the richest girls keen phaetons, and
English grooms in plug hats and tight-but-
toned coats, and top boots, and whip
han1le without any whip to it, to ride GO
feet behind them"
"And they don't learn q blessed thing,
Washington Hawkins, not single blessed
thing but snowy rubbish, and un-American
pretentiousness But send for the Lady
Gwendolen-do; for I reckon the peerage
regulations require that she must come
home and let on to go into seclusion and
mourn for those Arkansas blatherskites
she's lost"
"My darling! Blatherskites. Remember
-noblesse obiige."
''There, there, talk to me in your own
tongue, Ross-you don't know any other,
and you only botch it when you try. Oh,
don't stare-it was a slip, and no crime;
customs of lifetime can't be dropped in a
second. Rossmore-there, now, be appeased,
and 90 along with you and attend to Gwen
doien. Are you going to write, Washington
or telegraph"
Gle will telegraph, dear"
81 thought as much" my LADY muttered,
as she left the room. "Wants it so the nd-
dress will have to appear on the envelope.
1t will just make fool OF that child. She'll
get it, of course, for if there are any other
Sellerses there they'll not be able to claim
it. And just leave her alone to show it
around and make the most of it. Well,
y
poor and they re, so rich, of course she's had
her share of snubs from the livery -f1unkey
sort, and I reckon it's only human to want
to get even"
Uncle Daniel was sent with the tele-
gram; for although a conspicuous object in
a corner of the drawing room, was tele-
phone hanging on transmitter, Washing
ton found all attempts to raise the central
Office vain. The Colonel grumbled some
thing about its being always out of order
when you've particular and especial use for
it," but he didn't explain that one of the
reasons for this was that the thing was
only dummy and hadn't any wires at
tached to it, and yet the Colonel often used
it when visitors were present-and seemed
to get messages through it. Mourning
friends took rest
Next afternoon, while Hawkins, BY re-
quest, draped Andrew Jackson's portrait
with Grape, the rightful earl wrote of the
family bereavement to the usurper in Eng
1and-a letter which we have already read.
He also by letter to the village authorities
at Duffy's Corners, Ark, gave orders that
the remains of the late twins be embalmed
by some st. Louis expert and shipped at
once to the usurper, with bill. Then he
drafted out the Rossmore arms and motto
on great sheet of brown paper, and he and
Hawkins took it to Hawkins Yankee fur
niture-mender, and ct the end of an hour
came back with couple of stunning hatch
ments, which they nailed up on the front
OF the house-attractions calculated to draw,
and they did; for it was mainly an idle and
shiftless negro neighborhood, with plenty
of ragged children and indolent dogs to
spare for point of interest like that, and
keep on sparing them for it days and days
together.
The new earl found-vithout surprise
this society item in the evening paper, and
cut it out and scrap-booked it:
By recent bereavement our esteemed
fellow-citizen, Colonel Mulberry Sellers, per-
body, succeeds as rightful lord, to the great
earldom of Rossmore, third by order of
precedence in the earldoms of Great Britain,
and will take early measures by suit i'll the
House of Lords, to wrest the title and estate
from the present usurping holder of them.
Until the season of mourning is past the
usual Thursday evening receptions at Ross
more Towers will be discontinued.
Lady Rossmore's comment-to herself:
Receptions! People who don't rightly
know him may think he is commonplace,
but to my mind he is one of the most un-
usual men 1 ever saw. AS for suddenness
and capacity in imagining things, his beat
don't exist, 1 reckon. As like as not it
wouldn't have occurred to anybody else to
name this old rat-trap Rossmore Towers,
but it just comes natural to him. Well, no
doubt it's blessed thing to have an imagi
nation that can always make you feel salts
fled, no matter how you are fixed. Uncle
Dave Hopkins used to always say, Turn
me into John Calvin, and want to know
which place I'm going to; turn me into Null
berry Sellers, and I don't care
The rightful earl's comment-to himself:
It's beautiful name, beautiful. Pity L
didn't think of it before I wrote the
usurpe-. But I'll be ready for him when
he answers.