Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-07-21
PlTH AND POINT.

-Miserly-'T have been so poor at
times that would have sold my soul
for quarter" Cynicus - THAT
Herald.
-She-''Darling. do you doubt me
that you hate to have me go away to
the seashore?'' He-"No. that's not it
but I'm not sure of myself IN. Y.
Herald.
Young Mother (proudly)-''Every-
body says the baby looks like me"
Bachelor Brother (amazed 1.-The spite
full things don't say that to your face,
do they?"-N. Y. Weekly
II have just gained your mothers
consent. Clara dear" But, Mr..
Swift. 1 am so young, I-really-" 81
don't think it will make any difference,
as am to be your stepfather."
THE trouble with Tompy is that
he is shallow '.Tonpy? Nonsense.
If you had ever tried to fill Tompy
with champaign you'd have changed
your mind about that."-Truth.
Hello, Jones. what are you doing
with your coat buttoned up to your
chin? Are you sick?" Jones-'Hush,
don't mention it; / have on a tie that
my wife selected" = Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
How did you like the comedy?"
cts better than any I've seen for a
long time. My husband was so carried
away with it that he failed to keep his
appointment with the man. IN. Y.
Herald.
Mrs. Grimley-s'Our iceman is very
strong. He carried 500 pounds of ice
from the street to-day clear into our
cellar. Isn't that wonderfully Mr..
Grimley-''No, not if he weighed the
ice himself. Boston News.
-Ethel-''Every time Mr.. Doodly
calls papa is inclined to make light of
it" Her Mamma-''Yes; and, on the
contrary, 1 notice you are inclined to
turn down the gas. 1 rather prefer
your fathers way."-Boston Post.
You should always weigh your
WORDS said the lady who lives in Bos-
ton. 81 suppose So replied her brother
from the west, but | should think some
of yours would require hay scales at
the very least. Washington Star.
-Caruthers-''I'm afraid she's been
engaged before" Waite-''What makes
you think so?" observation-disclosures
! gave her the ring week ago and she
hasn't tried to write her name on pane
of glass with it yet.'-N. Y. Herald.
SO you have tramped all the way
from New York?" Eyes, sir" Couldn't
you get employment there?" mo. I
came pretty near having place in
Bowery restaurant What prevented
you?' II couldn't learn the language"
Washington Star.
Needed Cheering - Husband -
''Smikeson's wife is away, and I'm go
ing over there this evening to cheer
him up" Wife-"Why don't you bring
him here?" d-''Well-er-I'm
not feeling very well, and need little
cheering up myself
Master Bobby's papa is the happy
owner of a Matching machine. The
other day as the former was watching
a chick theoretically breaking its way
through the shell, he inquired: Il see
how he gets out, but how ever did he
go to work to get in?''
She was from Boston. She re-
marked proudly: NO member of my
family was ever known to break his
word" No" replied her husband,
although some of the words were big
enough to stand breaking several
times. "-Washington Star.
-Assistant-''Tm sorry to say, sir.
that another genuine poem got in by
mistake this month" Magazine Editor
Heavens. You're mad to say it! Any
news from our readers?" Assistant
Zone sudden death and six Frustrated
by the shock. ATLANTA Constitution.
Lady Injecting little boy who is
crying1-''What is the matter, little
boy?" Little Boy-''My mother whipped
me this morning cause 1 didn't keep
my temper, and now my teacher just
whipped me cause didn't get rid of it,
and l don't know what to do. Boo!
hoo!