Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-06-30
PrTH AND POINT.

II can't help but rejoice on account
Of your DOWNFALL" said the parchcd
grass to the rain.
-Algernon (who is much given to
talking in Angelina, ] love
you with fervor-a fervor-worthy Of
better cause.--Tit-Bits.
-Salphinx-'I fear Hiroller is con-
tracing bad habits Sharpe-''On the
contrary, he seems constantly to be ex-
panding them. Boston Courier.
First "a Man Tin logic class)-'Say,
what does ]. o. U. mean?" Second "a
Man (who has been there, with sigh
1T generally means nothing at all"
Princeton Tiger.
-''Silence gives assent, you KNOW"
he urged gently. docs it?" she re-
piled, waking from a reverie. Then
I'd advise you to propose to deaf
mute. "-Washington Star.
-Chappie-'.Whene am in doubt
about matter 1 stop and collect my
thoughts" Jessie-"I thought your
man attended to all the disagreeable
little odds and ends. IN. Y. Truth.
-Mabel-.'Is Miss SANITY really as
pious as people think she is?' Mae
s'Oh. YES: I'm certain she is" Mabel
'.What makes you so sure?" Mae
'.yNhy, her clothes fit her SO horribly"
Boston Courier.
Il know n man. said Eli Perkins,
"who was meaner than a dog. This
man and dog went into soloon to-
gether. but the man got beastly dunk
while the dog kept sober and went
home like gentleman"
discrimination in the Pantry
''You are in rather demoralized con-
dition." said the Oleomagarine to the
Cracked lee Yes" replied the latter,
s'but I'm what I'm cracked up to be. any
how. "--Detroit Free Press
The Difference.-"Your practice
will kill YOU" said the doctor to the
young woman suffering from too much
piano PLAYING. That's all right she
responded spitefully, yours kills
other people. detroit Free Press.
"A Check and a Check. - Wife
Charles I want some money" Hus-
band can't let you have it. gave
you check yesterday" Wifc-''Well,
that's no sign you should want to give
me a check to-day. Detroit Free Press.
Miss Lakeside-"Oh, you may
think ] never had an offer; but I'd have
you to know that at home scores of men
We're always at my feet" Miss st.
Louis-''I don't doubt it. / should say
that there was room enough there for
at least core."-Boston Transcript.
-Maude-'I am greatly annoyed be-
cause that Blinksley keeps writing
verses about the beauty of my complex
ion.'' Blanche-"Why?' Maude-"Be-
cause people have begun to speak of the
various compositions there are on my
face, and I'm afraid the expression may
be misconstrued."
Better Unsaid.-Friend latter teal
s-''Your little wife is brilliantly
handsome woman. should think you'd
be Jealous of her. Host confidential
1y)-''To tell the truth, Simp!lins. am.
l never invite anybody here that any
sane woman would take a fancy to-
Little Peddlington Gheewitz.
Advance, Democracy!-Figure on
Doorstep with an air and tone of af-
able dignity)-"Nill you tell the per-
son of the house, my dear, that the lady
what cleans her steps every Saturday is
unfortinitly laid up in bed with an at
tack of govt. and has sent a lady friend
of hern to act as hunderstudy at the
usooal charge?'-Eun.
1t is remarkably fact that pris-
oner is never brought into court. He
is always dragged in" Subsequently
he is thrown into" prison. This seems
unnecessarily rough treatment, but n
long acquaintance with newspaper re-
ports shows us that the practice has ex-
listed since time immemorial. and we
suppose it must be all right.-Boston
Transcript.
"A woman's first meeting with her
sons wife IS good deal like her first
meeting with his school teacher. She
gave the teacher as many directions as
accompany bottle of medicine, and
she does the same with the wife. She
is to be tender with his peculiarities,
and patient with his stubborness. All
the directions are given to the wife.
There is nothing said to the son.