The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-07-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A stage coach-The prompter.
"Out of sight"-1he owl at noon.
The lard refner never knows what he
can do until he tries.
The fixed star is one that has enough
money to settle down.--Dallas News.
A star gazer must have far away
look in his yes.-Binghamton Republi--
can.
A poem that is always sure of
market-the lay Of the hen.-Lowel
Courier.
Among the newest things in stockings
this summer is the baby's foot. Boston
| Transcript.
Tenant-"The roof leaks" Janitor--
"Well, you shouldn't have taken the top
fiat. New York Sun.
A great many things are laid before
Congress, but comparatively few of them
hatch.-W Washington Star.
Jagson says it is proper to wish the
anxious candidates many happy returns
on election day.-Elmira Gazette.
Bagley-"I don't believe in borrowing
trouble do you2" Brace-"Of course
not; money is the thing. New York
Herald.
Practice makes perfect. You can see
lawyers and doctors walking on their
uppers for want of practice. Bingham.
ton Leader.
Every thrifty farmer will keep his
land well dressed, but he has no resson
to be ashamed of strawberry patch.-
Lowell Courier.
When boy begins to wash his neck
without being told it is a sign he is pass
ing into the ordeal of his first love affair.
-Atchison Globe.
There are men with natures so small
that, if there is anything in transmigra-
ton, they will probably rcappear as mi.
crobes.-Washington Star.
First Preacher-"Does your choir
sing in harmonyG" Second Preacher
"Yes, but they don t live in harmony"
Kate Fields Washington.
The latest thing in Ohio is babe born
without hands. If he eventually drifts
into politics he will have to depend on
the hands of his friends. Washington
Post.
"What a sly animal the fox is, to be
surel The other day l followed one for
three hours, and when finally shot 1t
found it was red dog."-Fliegende
BleatteI.
True to the nature of the beast, many
man who in his time has cast sleeps
eyes at pretty girl has afterwards had
the wool pulled over them.-Phia-
delphia Times.
We have noticed that when you tell
woman her daughter is just the image of
her when she was that age, the mother
looks pleased and the daughter looks
scared. .-Atchison Globe.
Yeast-"What are you going to make
out of your boyG" Crimsonbeak-"A
lecturer" "IIas he a taste for it2"
"oh, yes; he inherits it from his mother"
San Francisco Examiner.
Mamma-"When that boy threw
stones at you, why didn't you come a
tell me, instead of throwing them back"
Little Son-"Tell you2 Why, you
couldn't hit a barn door. Good News.
Publisher-'I wish you would write
us good sea story" Great Author
"But l have never been to sea-" Pub
hsher-''I know it. | want sea story
that people can understand. Tit Bits.
1t is strange, as he knows
| She's in love with another;
He should like to propose,
When, SO sure as he goes,
Hell return as her brother
| New York Sun.
stAIrs. Chinner seems TO have a very
pleasant time of it," "Pleasant timer
Why that woman's life is one complete
round of enjoyment. sit ISL" at is
/ that. She belongs TO soyen sewing
circles. New York Press.
EYitherby-"I made the mistake Of
my life this morning. told my wife
didn't like her new gown. "-Planking-
ton-'What, was she angryp Wither-
by-"oh, no, it wasn't that, but sho
wants another one."-Cloak Review.
Lady (to her regular begging custom
er)-'I see that you have brought some
one with you to-day, aud l cannot give
to BOTH" eggar-"Certainly not,
ma'am. l am only taking him the
round of my clients, as have an idea of
selling the business"
Teacher-"Won't you sit down,
/ Jimmy1' Jimmy--"Nop. Teacher
"Why not" Jimmy-"Jis because"
Teacher-"Because whatl' Jimmy
"Because when pop was putin down
the carpet this mornin' aud hit his thumb
with the tack-hammer laughed. ~
Boston Post.
Clara--"I hope you won't bring that
Mr. Halter around TO see me. don't
want to see him." Maude-"But, my
dear, he says he used to play with you
when you were little girl" Clara
"That's why don't want to meet him.
1t reminds me of the time when wore
a home made cloak to sunday-school."
Cloak Review.
Increasing favor is shown by British