The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1892-06-17
NJ. Onad,s BOYS.


miles from home and afraid 10 go
back. Every time a vision of home
rose up before him there was sort Of
"section Two" connected with it, viz:
A stern faced Tather-a Woodshed-a
rawhide and a boy hopping around
and promising never to do so again.
[ filled him up at lunch counter,
gave HIM dollar i'll cash aud advised
him to keep going. 1t was no use 10
advise him 10 90 back home TO a fath
er who knows nothing of boy nature.
He wouldn't have gone anyhow with
licking in prospect, and had he
been taken back by force lie wouldn't
! have remained longer than the first
dark night. 1t Was boy who wrote
of boy:
"A boy is singular Teller. He
hain't neither monkey nor mule
| If he's bruug up ali right he'll come
out bully; if he hain't he's as bad rs
| thistles. It's better to study his ma
ture than to lick him. Some mothers
can git along with boys ;others can't.
No more at present. Goodoy."
When my boy Tom got out of his
knee breeches lie wanted to go west
and sIay Indians. II [ hadn't been
watching him he'd have armed hin =
self with a corucutIer AID loaf OF
bread aud run away. He was plan
ming to do this very thing when l
called him up and said:
"Fhomas, i want a new rug for the
ball. / want p rug made of Indian
scalp lOcks-abOut twenty OF them.
Get ready and will start you off to-
morrow"
| got down al old revolver, made
him a scaIping knife out OF rusty
ecythe, and instructed him how TO
approach a warrior and lift his hair
in the latest style, but Thomas didn't
go. No hoy wants to run away il you
want him to.
NV boy Jim wanted to be a pirate.
knew he was borrowing and read
ing every pirate story he could hear
of, and / knew that it would result
in @ climax by the time he was tif-
teen years old. l had my eye on him
when he used to slip out behind The
barn to practic boarding an uuarmed
merchant vessel, and | was listenir g
at night W hen he called out in his
sleep sat dead men tell no tales. He
had ali island selected on which 20
bury his treasure, and be planned on
lending back home a box of Spanish
doublOUms and Il ca=ket OF jewetry.
One afternoon Jim gobbled up two
i0aves of bread and some cold meat,
aud that night he retired an hour ear
hand. | went out and waited under
} his window, and as he came down off
T tie shed, bundle in one hand and
an old horse pistol in the other, said
! ooh, Jim, but I've got plan which
} I wish you'd help me carry cut. ii
: hiss been long time since anybody
pushed the pirate business with any
thing like enthusiasm, and | believe
there's first rate opening for an
INV IN n ~ +
/ fiji for you if you'll turn pirate. 1t
shouldn't be much trouble to capture
r two or three Spanish gaileous, and
) if YOU can send me home half car
= load OF gold and silver bars, I'll
guarantee to make business at this
I end Of the line set up and Gust. De
! you think you can set ready to start
} this week? We don't want anyone tt
: get ahead of us, you know"
Poor Jim dropped his bread and
5 meat and horse pistol and sneaked IN
2 10 the house, and that was the last oi
J the pirate business with him. From
2 that night on his dIcans have been
r clear OF blood red decks and sailors
: walking the plank and begging for
mercy. 1t was rather worse with
= nv Bob. He didn't run to Indians
: or pirates, but he did want TO be s
! young hero. He got hold OF boy
books which related the history ol
e boys who had begun life in New
: York selling papers and climbed up &c
the top notch of wealth aud great
/ ness. They were always boys who
r had run away from cruel step-fatherE
= or fstherless guardians, and this
T bothered Bob bit. | think he nae
to skip that part of it. He got ready
D TO make g break when he arrived a
the usual age, and l got ready to hell
I him When his little bundle was
: tied up with q piece OF sheep tWln'
and hidden in a pile of lumber he al
t most wished he wasn't going. WheI
J, he kis. ed his mother good night hi
: chin quivered. 1t was his duty to <;
L however, and become a millionslrt'
: and he went. He had seventeen
o cents in cash and a suit of old clothes
All boy heroes start out on Limited
e capital, and the more patches OF
l., their clothing the sooner they oegll
i to climb up. When the boy hero o
k the book reaches New York he in
variably falls in with q gentleman n
t the depot or OF the ferryboat-a gen
t tleman who suddenly becomes inter
n ested in his welfare, and st later
4 date takes him into partnership. NJ
t Bob didn't fluid this gentleman. HI
i ran across lots of men who WEI e prob
ably aching to pat him on the heaC
/ and give him a lift in the world, hu
IA they didn't have time just then. IL
i slept in dOorways and lived on crustE
and after couple of weeks the polio
s seut him home. He was cureG boy
i He at once ceased to wear his hat o.
e his ear and call me the "old man.
d | didn't blow him up when he re
o turned, and he didn't uffer to eat an.
O husks. We never even referred t
tt g matter.
n I've got another boy who is rapid.
l. growing out of knee pants. Iii
v resolution has been fixed for the las
two years. He intends to become
Y sailor. He already makes use Q
II "starboard," "port, :" watch shony,'
l. "shiver my timber" aud SO on. 1t
n no use to argue against romance. II
u due time he will get ready to ru.
away to sea. / shall be on the walci
Y and surprise him. I'll offer to TAX
u him to the nearest port and put I'M
aboard OF coaster. He'll accept an
n make one trip OF 200 miles. Hell
o never want 10 look at blue water
IS even in n wash-tuh, after that.
IL Just as true as You live, boy is
queer piece of machinery. He's a
is eggs and wheels and bets and puileys
~ and he'll run as smooth a. grease on
day and wobble like loose WACO
II wheel the next. He goes by fits an
starts. He breaks eat at uHeNpecie
| times and he develops whins an
is notions with every change Of WIND
,r You've rot to take him - he is aH
make the beat Cf il, and the NOR
n closely yGu study Kim he better TO
p bOt'. OF yon.
I, Startling Facts.