Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-10-23
THE GOSSIP Of POLITICS.
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must be amusing to Irishmen. the profef
sionaI Irishman Is dropping into the back
ground OF American politics, and goo
deal Of the Old-time conventional blarne.
and clap-trap has happily gone with him. l
may be because the Irish are losing clan
nishness, or getting "up to snun." 1t ma,
be because the professional Irishmen Il
pretty well provided for at the public crib
| and has to be brought home from foreigl
service at great expense, or the home arti
Gle comes too high. Anyhow. the profes
sional Irishman in politics is rapidly falling
TO the rear along with the professional sol
dier. And 1t will be pleasant day for fret
| government when the profes sional Irishmar
and the professional soldier shall have botf
lain down to permanent rest. The real
| nnpretentious articles are all right.
But TO return to the amusing political pas
| time of catching the Irish vote" Every
body knows that the way to the head of an
Irishman is through his heart, and the way
TO the heart of an Irishman is through old
| Ireland.
"Giye 'em plenty of Ireland" were the
instructions of campaign manager to
campaign speaker as the latter was going
forth to "catch the Irish vote" "Never
mind the issues OF tho day-give 'sm plenty
And you bet did," remarked the orator
on his return. '"They whooped and yelled
at every twist of the Hons tail"
The popular method Of catching the
Irish VOTE" you will ses. Is by twisting the
British lions tail. Mr.. Blaine himself is
something Of a tail twister, and his little
speech ut Ophtr Farm showed that he was
still nimble of touch when 1t comes to the
Irish vote. F.-
While the process of ecatching the Irish
vote ts chiefly one of blarney and air
heavily impreenated with old Ireland, there
are valuable accessories, suoh as tearing
DOWN the British flag and trampling 1t under
foot and dragging it in the dust and splitting
on 1t and all that sortof thing. The recent
occurrences of the flag racket indicate the
probability OF its being overworked. II it
should grow on us We may possibly see the
scheme in ntroduced on the platform. A red
rag to a bull is buckwheat blossom to
honey bee by the side of the British fiag to
m Irtsh-American. To introduce the British
nag at II public meeting and at the proper
moment have 1t torn down, ripped up the
back. spat upon in several languages, and
the fragments trailed in the mud would
please the most conservative Irishman and
cause the roaring homo rulers Of the United
States to tear up the ground with excessive
enthusiasm. don't suppose the British
Governments would care; but IL the lion
g:owled q little it would be all the better
for catching the Irish vote"
A Joke at Cabby's Expense.
The other day Mr.. Magrame Coke, a
Democratic swell of the Manhattan Club, a
man about town and all round good fellow,
got q cab early in the day. Mr.. Coke hadn't
been up at that early hour in the day since
he was a boy and the world looked strange
TO him. Nobody knew him and he knew no
body. But he was chairman or something
of q committee or something or other and
had busy day ahead, and he hired q cab so
he could think. The cabman drove him
around everywhere and IN every direction,
apparently for a couple Of hours, then
landed him at No. 139 MIR. Coke was closeted
long time with the committee and the cab
man began to grow anxious about his fare.
Just then Colonel Colonel, smalley came ne down the
side.
you'd better keep sharp LOOKOUT on the
"That bloomin' rascal has had me dr1vin'
HIM al round town for TWO hours" growled
ms sSs hoodoo s What " 1s house sGat
Democratic headquarters"
"The deuco 1t is. Then I'm gone, sure"
Tho man will be out directly" said
see the effect of bis dastardiy funny fun busi.
ness. Hell probably say he's = clubman
and big politician or something, but hess a
Pretty soon Coke came out, and ambling
down the steps was walking away.
Hold OF, there!' shouted the now excited
oabman, dashing up to tho curb and hastily
"Remain there-I'm going round the cor
ner a minute" said Coke
"Come, now, that won't work, old man. |
You can't work no sich games on me. I'm
dead onto yer racket-betcher lifer'
The cabmap grabbed the astonished club |
man by the shoulder and demanded his pay |
right then and there. The appearance of |
Colonel Smalley with that merry face of his |
gave the victim clew to the situation.
A hasty explanation. an abject apology |
from the cabman, q laugh all round, and |
clubman and the whole outfit stopped in
front of the first cafe In the neigh hborhood.
The cab alone remained outside. But I |
presume the cabman was now watching
both fares.
Foemen That Love Each Other.
1t is from tho inside that Colonel Tom
Carter telephones his best respects to Demo-
,ratic headquarters Immediately after
and Mr.. Frank Harrtty returns
he compliment Immediately, although there
8 apparently no reason why he shouldn't
,eep it. It is not within my power to record
he exact conversation, but I presume it 10
omething like this:
Colonel Carter-I say, old man, how's
rour head this morning:
Harrity-All right, Colonel, I'm used to
tile things like that. Wern put q head on
'ou to-day. How's the ice wagon,
Carter-Loaded for bear!
Harrity-Polar Dear, eh3
Carter-We'll unload it on you in the even.
ng papers; l don't know whether you can
,ear it or not.
Harrity-Wha.'s the nature of this fresh
ttack? g f- IA
Carter-Ill send you over the proof sheets
you can then have your denial iaf1idavits
eady for the morning papers.
asst yet: - -
Harrity-Ye.. How does the thing look to
rou this morning2
osrtsrmrm IL; inc!Insd III ,I to think you've got
load for any party to carry.
Harrity-Oh. you're all right. Your man
as a walkover. wish you only had our
old puddin" ON hand. I'm afraid we're a
Carter-Well, goodby old man; must go to
Tork-
"You more than sheep love-"
Carter-"When they softly blent-ba." l.
Harr1ty-wheh they softly gobbie"-
Both-"Ba! bal barr
"Gobble, gobbleI"
The familiar refrain sighs along the wires
or few seconds with the exquisite tender.
ess of two harmoniousiy blended souls.
hen all is silent, and you can hear the teie. |
xEling insulation aud burned ont SWITCH
cards. t- -t
A Campaign Novelette,.
-hc NoS momuCI VI buC IOSS uAcu |
epublican Club. He was young He was
male beauty goes In his part ,
, town., He wore good clothcs-as good
othes go in East Broadway. He was senti-
entail. He was in love. He wore an image
his heart as he went his daily rounds at
bor-the image of one whom he called '
,er.~ He had carried this image around 4
r two years and was now on his last lap. b
Or he intended to bring things to point |