The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-10-21

year ana Gay VINO ask Tor the Mitch
instead of the presentatio being made
by the priory at Little Dunmow or b,
| the lord of Dunmow, 1t is made by &
| firm of city bacon curers; and in thu
ceremonial that attends the award,
still more important changes have beer
made. Long ago anybody might put in
a claim. All that was required wa:
that the husband and wife should de.
clare that
| You never made any nuptiai transgression,
Since you were married man and wife
| Or since the parish clerk said Amen"
! Wished yourselves unmarried again:
! Or in a twelve month and a day
Repented not in thought any way.
For this is our custom at Dunmow well known,
Though the sport be our own, the bacon's your
own.
OF old the claimants had to kneel on
sharp flints at the priory of Little Dun
NOW and vow that these things were
true. All is changed now, as the fol-
lowing account will show:
Monday the sport followed show of
pony-racing and other rural diversions.
1t was under the patronage of Lord and
Lady Brooks, and did not begin until
they arrived on the scene. The tent
where the award took place was then
transformed into an excellent burlesque
of a court of justice.
A lawyers clerk acted as Judge: the
local corn merchant, in appropriate
dress, was counsel for the claimants; an
auctioneer conducted the case for the
donors. Six maidens and as many
bachelors formed the jury. The crowd.
that thronged the tent proved that the
monumental jest that has amused En-
gland for seven hundred years or more
is still as interesting as ever to the gen.
eral public.
Upon the platform there were two
couples who claimed the fitch, one be-
ing old, the other young; and the begin
ners were taken first. Certainly the
corn merchant, who acted as barrister,
made out an excellent case for his
youthful clients By examination he
showed that they had known one
another for ten or twelve years before
marriage, and that the husband was fond
of children and not at all quarrelsome.
These two 1.-THE man was thirty-six and
the wife younger) avowed that their
advice to all spinsters and bachelors
would be to get married, and they could
in all honesty take the bacon; at
which there was a laugh that sounded
incredulous.
Yet the auctioneer or opposing coun-
sci could not break down the evidence.
For the husband swore that he had no
club and never went to the theater
without his wife: that she never grum-
bled when ne came home late and never
discovered q will contrary to his. The
wife on her part swore that her hus-
band always got up most cheerfully in
the middle of the night if baby was
crying, and that neither cold dinners
nor washing day reused his temper. No
cross-examination was able to shake
this evidence
Although the counsel for the donors
suggested all kinds of offense. it was
stoutly denied that any trouble had
arisen in the matrimonial affairs of the
two. and though the jury retired to
consider their verdict the facts were
not to be gainsaid, and the fitch was
awarded. Yet it was easy to see that
good-humored cynicism was mingled
with the cheers that greeted the award
But, indeed, a curiously frank out
spokennesss was the most obvious
of the audience
When the herald opened the proceed
ings with his 80. vest o, yes! All ye
who have complaints approach his lord
ship o, yes! o. yesl' there were peals
of laughter. Shouts Of Speak mp,
Guv'ner! let's hear what you're saying.
Did man, interrupted the Judges sum-
ming up: and when the Grst fitch was
awarded. For the biggest lie-what
do You think?" was cried by the bach
seats
The second applicants were an old
couple whom even the opposing harris
ter blushed TO oppose. United their
ages amounted TO one hundred and fifty,
and for twenty-five years the husband
had been IN her ma jesty's service, de
was compared to the old Adam of ''As
You Like It." and vowed that in his
hottest youth he had never been false
to his Mary Jane In this case opposi-
tioE 70 the granting of the bacon was
purely a matter of form and indeed.
the discussion served no other purpose.
Is far as one could see. excep, To allow
the Introduction OF certain very obvious
Jokes
1t goes without saying tina. both %
the sham lawyers were accused Of try
ug to save their bacon" of talking
CANNON and of other eccentrieities
with hogs flesh. Evidently
the judge Was quite unanle 60 see the ,
slightest force IN the oppos it;on. for he I
1ot caly gave the applicant The benea. !
IF his advice, but on the verdict of the I
ury having been returned he eoarrzt-
Hated the happy couple On having 1
AIKEN the bacon
Round To Keep IL Tt