The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-02-02
FROM THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A.Quad Finds a Number Q fVery Interest
ing Editorials.
Why The Mayor Wears White Shirts
and Lace Shoes.

"b" - OtOCS.
WE'VE Cor TO Do Tive under
stand that some of the boys feel a bit
sore at us because, as Mayor of this
town, we r trying to dignity the
o1ilce by wearing white shirts and
| exchanging long-legged boots for lace
shoes. We replaced the sawdust spit
5oons in I'll in the Town Hail
with regular crockery affairs, and
Hank Steitfer, Joe. Glynn and others
are going around saying that we've 30
further use for the crowd.
While we wish it distinctly under
stood that as man we don't feel above
any Of the boys, as Mayor Of a hustIing
Western town certain things are ex-
pected of us and must be carried out.
We've got to keep our hair cut, use
passlble good grammar and present q
decent appearance to SIR myers. No
one eco be surprised if we are not at
the next dog-fight, Or if we issue an
order that our official room is not head
quarters for the gang. We expected
the boys would feel hurt, but we believe
our policy will win their approval in
the end. Over at the Kicker office
any one who visits us as the editor a
spit all over the fixtures and elevate
their feet clear to the ceiling, but when
we are in the Mayors office we shall
insist on all callers using the regular
s~pittoons and at least keeping their
heels off our desk. Strangers are
dropping in every day, and we want
them to see a difference between our
office and the barrOOms around town.
IT MUST BE STOPPED.-Tuesday morn
ing some one brought word to Coroner
Johnson that there was a dead Indian
about q mile out of town ON the Gulch
Trail. That official got a jury and
went out and nosed around for half a
day before he could render a verdict
that she Indian was old Bill Price, and
that the cause of his death was
unknown.
We want to say to the Coroner right
here and now that such nonsense must
be stopped, and that the Kicker will
oppose the payment Of his fees in all
such cases.. When told that it was an
Indian there was no need to go out.
What is it to the people of this county
whether an Indian lives or dies! The
Coroner not only knew old Bill as we'll
as he does his own brother, but he
probably sold him the last drink of
whiskey he ever had, and we have no
doubt that it knocked him over. 1t
was simply a put-up job to make the
county expense for fees, and if this
little game is worked again Mr.. John
son will hear something drop. AS a
county we have no money to waste on
dead Indians. In future, where one is
found along the road, let the case be
reported to us as Mayor and we'll
hire some to go out and plant
the body.
HH STILL TRIES Us.-The last straw
that broke the camel's back in the case
of our contemporary down the street
was when we were elected Mayor by
an overwhelming majority. He never
could forgive us for being the first to
introduce a paper cutter and red card
board and genuine printers ink into
his section, and when we exposed the
actual figures of his 1000 circulation
C32) he tried to shoot us. But our
election was the finishing blow. Dur
ing the campaign he charged us pub,
licly with being:
A thief, A convict,
A bigamist, An inCendiary,
A ~slanderer, A liar,
A swindler, A buncO man,
An assassin, A murderer.
He also managed somehow to raise
the sum of 81 in cash and wager it
against our election. His charges all
fell to the ground, and he lost his cash
money.
We were warned that he meant to
shoot us, but knowing that he couldn't
hit Pixies Peak with a shotgun, we
haven't worried any. Last evening
as we sat in our sanctum writing the
red hot editorial on the Chillian ques-
ton, 10 be found on the second page, |
our esteemed contemporary came up
the alley and shot at us six times
through the window, Actual meas
urement proves that we were only
eight feet from him, and yet his best
shot only cut the buckle off our vest
back. We heard him crying as be
went away after emptying his re
volver, Poor old man! We pity him
and yet he makes us tired, and some