The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-10-21
INVITATIONS TO SMILE.

be sufticlsnt.-Ex.
INVITATIONS TO SMILE.
:. Mr.; Homly is not beauty and he know
it. When his first baby was born lie asked
docs it look like me?"
or course they said yes.
Well, said he, you must break Ii &
my wife gently."-New York Press.
A Timely Parody.
The harp that once through Tara Ra Boom.De
The soul of music shed,
must soon hang silent on the walls
VI we VIII all be dead.-Life.
Rather UnusuaI.
"A very remarkable thing has come ou
concerning Ellie's engagement"
whats that?''
Her betrothed is going to marry her,
Chicago News-Record.
Promising Youth.
Dleker-So you are fitting your son for q
Wall-street career does he show any signs
OF adaptability?
Ticker-Ob. yes! he plays a game of poker
that Is simply a bute.-Puck.
Welcome to the Old Man.
When they saw the ships approaching
From the far of sunny Spain.
When they saw his banners waving
Red and gold upon the main,
Then those children of the forest.
Though so nearly stricken dumb.
Mustered up their moral courage
And they shouted, "Wle gents. Clump
New YORK Herald
A Land of Plenty.
"Been South, / understand ?''
"Yes, l was down there nearly all sum-
mer."
Great country. Very hospitable people. u
Yes, indeed. Butter flows like water
there IN the summer."-Puck.
Laying the Found alton.
Back to your childhoods halcyon time
Regretful memory strays;
Though spanked for many a trivial crime,
ihey were cur palmy days.-Puek.
Love VS.. Duty.
He-I am utterly unworthy of your love.
Sbe-Thats trne-but, George, we owe a
certain duty to society. and our set hasn't
had anthing to talk about for an awfully
long time.-New York Herald.
Sweetest When Green.
All, girls are not like apples
Nor any fruit between
The earth and SKY, because they
Are sweetest when they're green.
Detroit Free Press.
One OF % Million.
Mrs. Rashcroft-You must regret losing
Mr.. Gildersleeve. You had him so many
Years.
Mrs. Small-Yes, indeed. He was the
only boarder had who really liked stewed
York Press.
Prepared for Emergencies.
Guest-Pm glad there's a rope here in case
Of fire; but what's the idea OF putting a
Bible in the room in such prominent po-
,ition?
Bellboy-Dat am intended fob use, sab.
in case the fire am too far advanced fob you
to make yoh escape, sah.-kansas City Star
How She Fixed 1t.
he i, net beau of yours. is he"
"He calls on me of.ener than on you"
Yes; told him the days you were rot
at home. Lilies Calendar.
Steady Job.
Housekeeper-Idon't believe you ever did
q stroke Of work in your life.
Tramp was six years in one place,
mum.
Indeed How did you happen to leave ?"
81 was pardoned out, num- Judge.
why He Didn't Tell His Mother.
Mamma-Wnen that boy threw stones at
you why didn't you come and tell me. In
stead Of throwing them back?
Little Son--Tell you2 Why, you couldn't
hit barn door.-Street & Smith.
Rather Exclusive.
Were you at the seashore last summer,
Polly ?"
.'Only for day."
''Did you battle ?"
No. Somebody else was using the ocean
when we were there. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Actions Louder Than Words.
Featherstone-What did your sister say
when you told her l was here In the parlor
waiting for her?
Bobby-Nothin' But she took ring off
one finger and put it on another.-Life.
Popular Song.
SIS this one of the popular songs of the
dayW inquired the customer in a music
store yesterday.