The sea coast echo. [volume] (Bay Saint Louis, Miss.) 1892-current, 1892-08-20
FtNDiNG-FAUL1.


1t may seem superfuous to begin by
saying, Don't find fault at all when
you can possibly avoid It," Nevertheless,
this is a very important first rule; for
in order to make necessary fault-fnd-
ing count, and be of any real use to
yourself, to the delinquent individual,
or to both, all needless, superfuous and
aimless fault-finding must be avoided.
Three times out of four fault-finding is
merely an expression of impatience,
and the only good it does is to relieve the
irritable feeling caused by the careless
ness, stupidity or other defects of those
with whom we have daily intercourse.
To begin with, on every occasion where
there is no reasonable hope of doing
good by fault-finding, seal your lips as
with bar of iron.
Next, almost always postpone fault
finding until there has been time for
consideration. Do not speak at the
moment the fault has just been COM
mitted. However deserved, and even
mild, the reproof may be, the culprits
mind is not in a state to receive and as
similate it. When Bridget has just
broken your best India china soup tu-
reen, she is SO disturbed by the accident
that she hears you say, Bridget, do
you not remember have often told you
not to carry that tureen on a tray with
other dishes, but always to lift it with
both hands," etc, with a vague sense
that you are ''scolding" her, and it is
very disagreeable. Yor are fortunate if
she does not reply with some fretful
self-justification. When the mind is off
its balance, and the nerves agitated, 1t
is not the moment to irritate still
further. The more childish, undevel-
oped and ill-regulated the character the
less is the hope of doing good by such q
method.
To simplify the case, will suppose
chat you are dealing with domestics
only. To treat the ques ton OF finding
fault with children would involve too
many side issues.
Here, then, offer two very simple
rules. do not pretend that they cover
the whole ground, but they will be of
great practical assistance.
First-Never go into the kitchen to
find fault with Bridget. She is there
on her own ground; and if she is fret
ted into impertinencc by what you say
you have no resource but an undigni-
fed retreat, which leaves her mistress
| of the field. Send for her to come to
you, taking care not to choose time
when her work or other occupations
will be interrupted by SO doing. Leave
her margin as to time.
Second-Begin by saying something
kind, which will put Bridget in good
humor. 1t is easy to do this Say a
word of commendation of her breakfast
cakes; or of her neat kitchen. She is
now disposed to listen to you. Then
| go on something like this: 81 like your
work, on the whole, very much; you are
meat or a good cook, or very good
tempered, as the case may be.) But
there is one thing that troubles me.
You stay out late at night. Now, il
you were an elderly woman, perhaps il
would not matter At any rate, !
should not feel responsible. But for a
young girl of your age, it is not safe. ]
should not dare to allow it. Your
mother is not near you now to advise
you; and mother could not help being
very anxious about you under these
circumstances. You know l told you
when you came that my rule is to have
my domestics at home by (such an
hour. You may not understand the i'm
portance of this, but any older person
who has had experience, will tell you
the same thing"
| have been obliged to suppose case
but the principle is of varied applica
sion.
Good-natured, kindly fault-inding
administered when the mind is free t.
receive it, may do some good. Irritable
expressions of displeasure, never; ant
moderate and just reproof, if tactics.
and ill-applied, is almost as useless.
There should be, however, a constant
gentle preparation of the soil, by judi
cious commendation. Judicious; no
flattery, nor constant praise. Recog
nize all that is good; show that you per
ceive an attempt at improvement. Will
most people the tendency is the othel
way. Bridget burns her bread in the
baking, and her mistress says, Bridget
your bread was not good to-day
Bridget knows that; she knows, also
that she has made good bread ten times
and no notice was taken of it. Th,
eleventh time she burned it, and tha
time she was blamed.
Let me close with true anecdote
A kind-hearted old lady of my acquaint
ance employed a young colored man t.
do jobs about her promises. One DAY
Henry, in receiving orders from her
forgot to remove his hat. My friend
old-fashioned breeding could not put u,
with this. This was the form of hel
reproof: Henry, if you were my son
should say, My son, where is you
hat?"-Lilian Freeman Clark, in Ladies
Home Journal
Didn't Want One.
Agent-Madam, I have sold one o1
our justly-celeb folding-bed t.
every one in the neighbozhood with tn
single exception of the spiaster lady VIII
lives across the way.
Lady of the house-Whv 1youldn,+ cb