St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-07-04
MINNEAPOLIS.
OUR FATHERS MISTAKES.
How Minneapolitans Suffer From
Them. and How They May OBJ
tain Surcease.

How Minneapolitans Suffer From
Them, and How They May OBJ
tain Surcease.
Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin.
John Hancock, Charles Carroll, of Car
rollton, and all those other gentlemen
who, 116 years ago today, caused the
bell in the old Philadelphia state
house to, be; ruined, except for
use as old metal, were, without a
doubt, earnest, conscientious, we'll
meaning gentleman; but they opened
the way for the infiiction upon poster
ry of good deal of discomfort. They
did not like the way George Hanover
was running the machine, and set out
to put stop to it. Were George living
now, and in this country, he would be
called boss" and club organizations
would be formed to down him.
He had a way of grasping all
the offices in sight for himself and his
friends, and he was also given to de-
manding an exclusive franchise for do
ing all the business in which any money
was to be made. George was repre-
hensible character, and it is good
thing that the men who met i'll Phila-
delphia issued def although that
word had not come into common use
at that time, there being so few cham
piOn pugilists) to him and his minions.
They wanted chance at some of the
patronage themselves. They were
right. for what they demanded was only
fair, People of the present day have to
thank them for their prompt action,
too, as there would have been no oppor-
tunity for the rise of Ignatius Donneliy.
the Peoples party and the Carnegie
mills had they not done so.
But all that is side issue. The point
IN the present case is thatthe aforemen-
toned gentlemen of 1776 opened the
way for the use to which the small boy
and the large imbecile have heen put
ting the Fourth of July ever since. 1t
was not so bad few years ago. As
long as the consumption of fireworks
was confined to the Pekin brand,
he ears of the pOpHace aid
he nerves of thes nation were
not unduly abused. But all this is
changed. Under the fostering care of
protective tariff the crashing Ameri-
can determined to show the mild-man-
nered ChInaman that, when it came to
was not in it. The Chinaman is a
frugal sort of man. He likes
his fireworks. as we'll as other
things in life. to be enjoyed on
quiet, transformations scale. He
prefers a steady, gentle downpOur
of enjoyment TO a clOudburst and a
succeeding drought. He made little
firecrackers which tickled the children
and startled the old maid of the family,
but which did not scatter the paternal
domicile all over the outlying precincts
and part of the next county. But the
American is different. He wants his
fun in heavy wads. So when he came
to making firecrackerS he made them on
the same scale that he makes a statement
concerning the town where me lives.
Everything is big. And this predilec-
ton of his is at the bottom of all the
trouble with the Fourth of July. A
good-siZed amount of noise is a good
thing on the Fourth of july but
bOmbardment of Fort Donelson on
every block becomes just trifle too
patriotic. If the work with the
firecrackers were confined to the
boys it could be endured. If
not endurable. satisfaction could he
attained by spanking the small boy.
But when coarse featured and lusty-
limbed paraphrase of the nObleSt work
of God is moved by his only impulse, in
stinct, to crafty his delicate sense of
humor by putting out eyes and blowing
off arms and legs with dynamite crack
erS-Well, it is somewhat different.
Such a specimen is both discOuraging to
the optimistic philosopher and too big
to lick. So it must be suffered.
The cannonading has been going on in
Minneapolis tor two days how, in spite of
Maj order. Last night it
began in earnest long before the hour of
midnight. it will continue all day. it
maybe depended npoil.
There iSoiies decentralization
have been provided, SO that it is not
all day and suffer. Fer the sportively
inclined, two ball games have been
scheduled. one in the forenoon and one
in the afternoon. Then there are the
races at MinDehala-good races on a
fast track.
Out att Minnetonka the hotel man,
wearied with wandering through de-
serted Slfalis, feeding an army of EN-
ployeszand figuring up his profits, if the
weather would only favor him. will ex-
tend hearty welcome to any man who
visits the lake today with the intention
of spending part of last weeks salary.
The Lafayette management has az
ranged for all elaborate celebration.
Rev. G. L" Morrill, will deliver the
Grafton. In the evening there will be a
grand display of fireworks. At Excel
sior tile Fourth will be celebrated in old
style farmer fashion. There will be one
grand picnic dinner at noon. athletic
contests and dances. The other lake
hotels will have special musical pro-
grammes and arrangements so that
every visitor can have the most fun.
the seventeen W. G. Il. U. branches
Of the city, seventeen Scandinavian
temperance societies and the lodges of
Good Templars.will unite with the st.
Paul people in celebration at Merriam
Park. The Minneapolis societies will
have parade in the morning
Besides these there will be number
less private. club and church picnics all
over the city and county.