The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1892-05-17
An Old and Well Known News
paper Man Tells How TO Get
Rid of s'Jag" Juice.
Falls City, Neb the Former Home
of Senator Jim Lane, a Bean.
tiful Place and the PeO-
pie Extremely Hos
pitable.
FALLS City, NEB May u, 1892.

Sptcias correspondents oa<oO-
In the spring of 1876, while EN-
ployed ON the old Sedalis Democrat
Toney Leece assisted me in turning
out pale blonde mustache, Of which
l soon became very proud and san
guine.
A few years later l inaugurated q
very feeble species of the Missouri
flag. and, Notwithstanding the eft
forts l made to suppress it from time
to time, becoming alarmed at It's pc
culiar antics, it grew aud flourished
with all the rapility and tierceness OF
Canada thistle, so much dreaded by
the farmer. 1t was not long before
the jag had outstripped in growth
and interest my still struggling wits
kers, which had had several years the
start.
Finally my jag had taken the
BIT IN ITS MOUTH
And, like bold and bearded Bill An.
derson's thoroughbred steed, in a
small engagement in Ray county,
No., in 1864, ran into the enemy's
lines, bearing its helpless rider with it.
Not only once, but a hun
bred and more times my
dark horse had similarly served me,
until my friends and l came to the
conclusion that it was time to dismount
and take it a-foot for awhile.
Three weeks ago, by some strange
destiny and mysterious coincidence,
while l was putting
THE FINISHING TOUCHES
on an elaborate piece of fiery fresco-
ing, upon which l lad been laboriDg for
a month, DR.. 1. NJ. Houston, of Falls
City, Nebraska, made his appearance,
unheralded and unknown, in Sedalis.
He readily became acquainted there
and established himself as a practi-
toner upon those untortunates who
have fallen prey to big schooners "
and "sour mach"
The d3ctor's advent took place in
the balmy days of Book beer, whose
annual return with the blue birds is a
matter of deep and widespread i'm
porlance among topers and tipplers.
1 was fairly reveling in the foamy
fluid. of which the festive goat is the
national symbol, when l was pre-
vailed upon, one afternoon, by
the "Big lnjun" of the BAzoo tribe
to visit the doctors office and try the
experiment of having the "sheep Dip
and the goat mixture eliminated from
my soaked system.
1 found myself sufficiently lucid to
consent, and arm in arm with the
"Big Injup," l was soon with the
doctor. | found him a very pleasant
and handsome young gentleman, but
when he saw me l thought detected
look of Encouragement in his sky
blue eyes. He seemed to be satisfied
by single glance ct the subject before
him that he had "hummer" in his
presence and he has since informed
me that for the few brief moments in
which he sized me up he endured
CoNsIDERARLE MENTAL AGONY,
for he was vacillating as to whether or
not he should undertake the job of
patching me up. He felt my pulse
and found it abnormal. He pressed
his pink, sea shell ear against my
breast-whether the right or left, I
fail to remember now-to note the &C.
ton of my heart. Some discovery
greatly depressed him. He asked to
see my tongue, but my
breath from the days rotations
blinded him, and Just what was the
condition of my organ just then, /
have never known. Inquiry was
made as to whether l was color blind.
l told him l thought l was, as / had
not seem anything to drink for an
hour or go. He then asked me if 1
would object to taking a drink. To
be as modest as possible, l replied
that had constitutional aversion to
directors, from Hoosier Holman
down. A pint bottle, filled to the
neck, was promptly produced, and
after the doctor had given me
"shot," he told me to drink the whole
pint, if l could. That was the most
pleasing invitation had received for
several days. The "Big Injin." DR..
Woodfin, Bob Thatcher and Brother
Sampson saw me manipulate the
glassware. In Q moment there was
nothing left but the bottle aud the
cork. The bystanders stood in mute
amazement, and DR.. Houston ex.
claimed "Good God"
This was the beginning of my Kee-
ley treatment. 1t was continued sew
eral days after that, in Sedalla, but
the Book beer season was still in full
blast, and materially retarded my