St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-06-04
THE LAST WORD.

|
O'Beese Say, Raysredge, how did yor
manage to get SO thin?
edge-Hel ping dad test his ''Fa1
Preventative" How did you manage tc
| get SO stout?
OBeese-Helpng my dad.
Raysredge-W hat was he doing?
OBeese-Nothing.-[Puck.
SOCIAL GRAv1TATIoS.
Returned Tourist-What became OF
that fool Saphead, who had more money
than he knew what to do with?
Business Mani don't remember him.
Was he much Of fool?
"Perfectly idiotic -
Il presume he has dropped into So
ciety."- New York Weekly.
MY wIFE's BONNET.
In all she says quite concur,
Nor wish to disagree;
For while it may be dear to her,
It's much more dear to me.
DIDN'T EAT THEM.
An American lady visiting Paris was
continually interested in the smart little
boys i'll white caps and aprons who de-
liver the wares Of the pastry cooks. One
day she said to one of these boys who
had brought her some cakes:
"Ah, | suppose you get the benefit of
one OF these cakes yourself sometimes::'
"What do you mean madame?"
"You eat a cake now and then?"
Eat them? Oh, no, mad ,me, that
wouldn't do. only lick 'em as | come
along. - Youths Companion.
LOSING HER GRIP
Mrs. Witherbv-A1rs. Plankington
doesn't dress so we'll as she used to, does
she?
Mrs Banger-No, since her husband
signed the pledge she hasn't the hold on
him that she used to have i Cloak Re
view.
DEPENDENT GEORGE.
Ethel-Do say yes, papa. George
can't live without me.
Closefist-I doubt if he could without
me.
THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE.
Young Calow-Do you think it is
more trouble for q husband to manage
wife than it is for O wife to manage
husband?
Benedick-I don't know, but if on ex-
pertinent Of that kind is tried in one
family there is likely to be trouble
enough for both.
THE FLY IN THE OINTMENT.
Tramping Jake-It's getting to be too
hard work to pick up Twin in this
country. IF it wuzn't so fur away I'd
go to Central Amerky. A man don't
have to do nothin there. Whole coun-
try's covered with bananas. Nothin to
do but lay under a tree all day an eat
bananas.
Rusty Rufe-Got to pick 'em off n the
trees, hain't ye?
"tourse.'
II knowed Their wuz some drawback. -
i Chicago Post.
SHE WAS ON.
'There's trouble in sight," said the
gray-haired old funny man as he looked
out Of the window toward body of men
who might have been policemen.
as there?' responded his aged wife,
Who hid written many of his best jokes
Tor him and was up to his tricks. as
here, dearie? Then possibly you had
better get an Older pair of glasses.'
The ancient funny man, with re-
oroachful look at his wife, left the win
low with sigh Detroit Free Press.
4 stole q kiss from you last eve,'
H said to her; ''alack,
t was theft for which grieye-
[ come to give it back }"
You're very good, indeed said she;
Pray keep it for your honesty"
- New York Press.
A MARTYR TO CANDY.
Tommy-You did not give me the
you said you would.
Father-Why, what strange boy YOU
re to want whipping.
Tommy-Well, | thought | should like
he candy you always give me after it.
Once d Week.
DIsPROPORTIONATE.
Perhaps it is too much to expect that
ne man VIII, uses big words should fur
ish big Ideas with them Somerville
ournal
Not so! He usually has the most
idea of himself. Argosy.
MEAN HUSBAND. G
Il saw Mrs. Bunkerton to-day" said
ticks. she looked mighty handsome, :,
20.
''She's al odious woman, returned l.
RS. HICKS.
You never did admire any of my old :
iris said Hicks, That is only one, u
nd | think you thought her perfect W
(Which one was that" queried Mrs. d
icks
''Yourself,' retorted Hicks - Bazaar =
PLENTY OF TINE. u
Husband-Your mistress went up -
airs while ago to write a letter, Ii