Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1892-11-19
PlTH AND POINT.

Secondlng the motion-Taking the
time of sprinter. Truth.
Don't be deceived by the big orange.
Like church bell, it is mostly PEEL
Boston Transcript.
Since all the worlds stage and Atlas
held it up, he must therefore be tho big.
gest thief on record.
Many man thinks he can read a
woman like book till he tries to shut
her up.-Philadelphia Times.
A restaurant mutton chop never looks
half so sleepish as the waiter who serves
the microscopic object. New YORK
Herald.
How soon the millennium would come
If the good things people intend to do
tomorrow were only done to-day =
Rams Horn.
Parker-'I know girl who married
a Chinaman. Mrs. Mercy
How could shea" Parker --"She was
Chinese herself"
"Silence is golden" thought the
newsboy, when the customer handel
him five-dollar piece in mistake for
new cent.-Truth.
"WhY do you suppose Mrs. FLYER
wears such loud clothes2" $50 she won't
hear her husband growl about the bills,
Isuppose. Inter Ocean.
Wife (proudly exhibiting her new hat)
-"Why my dear, you seem to be as
tonished." Husband-"Yes; but not
surprised. New York Journal.
Poet-"I have little poem here, sir,
that has been indited-" "Well, sir,
would be glad to see it convicted, but
l can't try 1t. "-Lifes Calendar.
Every woman is sorry for some other
woman on account of something he
husband told her about the other
woman's NATURALIZATION Globe.
The reason why a woman always adds
postscript TO her letter is because she
is bound to have the last word if she has
to write it herself.-Boston Transcript.
She speaks, he understan Is bern
Although he is no fool;
You see, the only French she's got
She learned at boarding school.
New York Sun,
al wonder why he didn't kiss me
when 1 accepted him." "Prehaps he
thought the occasion demanded sone-
thing unusual from him. "-Life's Calen.
dar.
"Sophtie is badly troubled with dys.
pepia." "That's because he is so gull.
lible." "What has that to do with it2"
"He swallows everything. New York
Press.
+ Watts-"This has been great year
for record breaking" Pot5s--"Hasu't
it, though! Nudge paid me 50 he bor-
rOwed, for instance. Indianapolis
journal.
The secret of oratory consists in the
power of so expressing yourself that
Others may be induced to do things
which you do not want to do yourself
Boston Transcript.
He Cat 1870 p. m.)-"Your father is
an awful jolly old chap, isn't hel Can't
you arrange it so that can meet hint"
She-"Yes; just stay half an hour
longer. New York Herald.
Husband (going of on a hun0--"1
know I'll miss you while I'm away,
dearest" Wife-"Of course you will.
You always miss everything when you
are off hunting. "-Brooklyn Life.
Lady-"Bridget, 1 suppose you know
how to take care of cut glass, don't
you" Bridget-"Indade, ma'am, an l
do. I'm always perticler to put all the
broken glass in the ash bin. Chicago
Inter-0cean.
The conscience fund has been swelled
by the receipt of two cents, which the
sender acknowledges having made some
years ago by reusing a postage stamp
that had not been Cancelled. This is al.
most two centsitive. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Observation-Disclosures, what's wrong
with this pie crust4 It doesn't hall
cover the pie" Helen-"Why, dear
est, asked your mother all about how
to make them to suit you, and she said
to make the crust very short. Chicago
Inter Ocean.
He was an old merchant who devoted
much time to advertising. "John,"
said his wife, "what do you want put
on your tombstoue}" "Oh," he an
swered, ait isn't important what the
text is, so long as it gets good space aud
Is well displayed. General Manager.