Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-06-04
A SUBURBAN DRAMA.


Extensive suburban district which lies to
,e north of London, will have felt Ger
hin Sensation of evaporation creep ovel
him as he notices the roads, terraces and
streets, all with more or less high-sounding
names, which SO closely resemble each other
that the mind grows bewildered with the
cadless similarity, and feels positive sense
OF relief when the monotony is broken by a
chapel, a shop, or one of the before-men-
toned houses in state of repair. 1t would
seem as if the playthings OF some giants
bantling had been set up, and then aban-
dOned for some tresher and more amusing
toy.
All are cast in the same mold, flight OF
eight stone steps leading up to the front
door, breakfast room in basement bay win
dow to parlor, and sleeping room above, low
wall surmounted by ornamental iron railing
enclosing garden in more or less decay,
while in the rectangular inclosure at the
back the dust bin is the most prominent
object both to eye and nostril. There is
not an atom of romance about the whole
edihce, all is of the most intensely COM
monplace, and vet in one of these small SUBJ
urban villas, as they are loftily termed bv
the house agent, a drama of such strange in
tensity was acted such as has seldom been
heard of in a Venetian palace or German
castle.
About three years before the opening of
this story a most respectable elderly gentle
man, with long silvery beard, called upon
MeSsrs. Staple & Lock, house agents. of No.
IS Castletower Terrace, Cannonbury, and
expressed a wish to look over the premises
situated at No Birthstone Road, which
was TO let.
NJ c,o-l. ,rbo b,,n,,oJ 10 ha on J,+r
at once took down his hat and accompanied
the inquirer to the house in question, and
ushering him in, began to expatia:e upon
the comforts and conveniences of the resi-
dence.
The intending tenant let the house agent
go on for some time, and then, striking his
stick smartly on the floor, observed: Are
YOU aware, sir, that l am an older man than
you?"
''You have the advantage Of me by per-
haps year or two, responded Mr.. Staple,
politely.
And as SUCH" continued the old man,
paying no heed to the implied compliment,
SHOULD know best what will suit me; so if
YOU will kindly cease this useless chatter,
which only makes my brain whirl, l will
look over the house and come to de-
cision."
Never had the courtly Mr. Staple been
taken up so short before. He bit his lip
and relapsed into silence, while the surly
visitor made a minute inspection of the
premises, not a defect in which seemed to
escape those steei-sray eyes, which twinkled
so brightly behind pair of gold-rimmed
spectacles
When the examination was completely
concluded he turned to Mr.. Staple and
said: ''The house is in very bad order and
no
roOfin the washhouse is faulty and requires
attention; the bells are not in order, and
several of the boards are loose. If you can
guarantee to have all these repairs exc
cuted in six months L will take the
house.
Mr. Staple was about to say that he could
not agree to any such lavish expenditure,
when the old gentleman motioned him to
be silent, and continued, 81 will take the
Use on lease for IA years at the annual
rental you mentioned.
\ Mr. Staple was silenced His mind had
hever scared beyond a three months agree
ment The house had been empty for
long time, and so, after a moments consid-
GRAFTON, he closed with the offer
Here are my references" said the old
gentleman, handing Nh. Staple piece of
paper. MY name is Hepper-Goifrey
Hepper-and L am a dealer in bric-a-brac
and articles and curiosities of all kinds. That
side door will suit me admirably, but please
have new lock and strong bolt put upon
it, for which / of course will pay.
Mr.. Hopper alluded to this fact that No.
was a corner house, and had side en-
trance into the garden. The street into
which this opened was IN process of erec-
tion, that is 10 say, several carcases had
been run up, but the speculative builder
who had commenced the job had tailed, and
the work was In temporary allegiance.
Crusty old Mr.. Hopper seemed likely to
turn out good tenant In due course of
time huge chests, odd shaped boxes and
outlandish-looking bundles began to arrive
for him, and many handsome carriages con-
tanning faces well known in the fashionable
world stopped at Birthstone road. in order
that their owners might inspect old Godfrey
Hepper's collection of curios from all
lands.
The old man paid his rent, taxes, and,
indeed, all mis- bills, with the most rigid
exactness, and more than once Staple and
Lock congratulated themselves on having
secured so eligible a tenant
When business for the day was con-
cluded, and the old gentleman took care
that the hours should not be too long, he
would lock and bar the house with singular
caution, and then going over to the Monkey
anu DtSM pan, d uISuly ItSpectdDie PUBIC
house, in an adjacent street, he would, by
an arrangement which he had entered into
with the landlord, partake of the evening
meal which was always in readiness for
him.
Though he had checked Mr.. Staples flow
of elOquence with such pitiless promptitude
yet Mr.. Hopper was not adverse to hearing
the sound of his own voice, and in the smok-
ing room OF the aforesaid hostelry he would
hold forth at great length. Il once had my
fortune told by gitana, beneath the
Giralda, in Seville said he, ''and she as
sured me that L should lose life and for
tune bv the hands of woman. She was
like all her class, nearly right, but not quite
so. for my wife was bitter-bad one, the
widow OF a trader in Yokohama She once
threw an empty bottle of Schedan at me,
which narrowly missed my head and was
always picking and stealing in some way"
"a troublesome helpmate, SIR" remarked
Mr.. Mattocks, the undertaken; spray, have
you procured a judicial separation?''
Death did that for me at Surinam," an
swered the old man, raising his hat, with an
air Of gratitude.
"You haven't any family Think" asked
a young gentleman, who looked on himself
as literary character because he did the
advertisement canvassing for local paper.
my wife had a daughter by her former
husband, answered Mr.. Hopper, "as diff
ferent from the mother as angels differ from
demons. She is the very ample of my eve,
and will have all my property if she weds
the man of my choice. ="
''We have not had the pleasure of seeing
the young lady yet, said Mr. Mattocks.
''She has been educated at a convent in
Bruxelles, replied the old man, "but now
that she has gone through her course of
studies, have sent for her, and she will be
lor