The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1892-12-27
some OF DEPEWS gEST
a FEW CHOICE SELECTIONS FROM
Tie Thousands OF Jests with Which
He Is Associated-rhe Flavor Of
Antiquity Does Not Rob Him OF
Glory for He Is the Authorized
Master Of Them All.


Esaepe
M chauncey N. Depow is properly
considered the great metropolitan joke
foundry. In fact, thanks to Maj. Nc
Rihleyss oversight or to MI. Blaine's
thoughttulness, there is no exorbitant
tariff on jokes. but agenercus recipro-
city between nations that has proved
mostadyantageous to Mr.. Depew'B in
ter~national reputation.
Some people account for Mr.. Depew'a
marvellous fund Of stories by the TACT
thatt the crowds Of daily visitors TO the
Grand Capitalization bring grists to his
mill, and that, as no has q splendid
memory, when lie hears agood story no
puts itin a mental p%lgeon-hole to be
taken out and used at an appropriate
time. That islto acertain extent true.
Then again many OF his stories arise
rom incidents that happen inthe Office,
ON the street, in the railway train, any
whore. He takes liberties with the in.
cfdents when he frames them into
stories. he embellishes them and ex-
a6perates them, Some OF his stories
are pure and deliberate inventions.
some are Observation-Disclosures fc-
ttons concocted while on his feet adj
dressing an assemb1age. He invests
them With such an air OF probability,
especially when he lays tho scene "np
AZ Peekskill. that men have come to
himSand said, 81 remember first rate
whenthat happened. was living next
door to the man you tell " 81" ),
sYou have q wonderful memory.
saysiAir. Depew with q grave face. And.
then perhaps he thinks, I'VE liars must
stand by one another" and holds his
The story Of the Millerite which he
toldiatthe chamber Of commerce ban-
daet November 10 is an example Of In
ventionl on the spur OF the moment. 1t
was very late. MI. Breckenridge and
MI. Cleveland had spoken. Mi. Depew
wasilast on5the programme. He}wanted
totsayS that the Democrats would ruin
theIcountry IL they kept 1t in doubt as
"a what they intended TODD; that the
countrycould standit If the millennium
was tolcome, because then 1T would be
prosperous; that 1t could stand It II the
new policy was tobe injurious, because
Il could adjust itself to It; but that
whilei in doubt the country could do
nothing. There was no time to make
nm elaborate argument on these ifnes,
80 Mr.. Depew set himself TO illustrate.
his point by q story which would be
d argument, and this is the way he
didlit:
UpinSPeekskill We bad at one time
that Millerite excitement, which went
over the country when Miller predict
ed thai on 9 certain night, at ~12o,clock,
the world would come to an end. a
very good and pious man, Q shoemaker
ofourvtllage, believed in Mtller's doc
trine. He left his business early onthe
lastday, locked up his store, and pre-.
pared himself and family for the dread
event. When 10 o'clock hadpassedand
IL GOT to- be O'Clock the shoemaker felt
that he must appeal to some higher
powerSthan Mr.. Miller. He said: 20,
Lord, ifthe millennium Is to come let
IL comen andfthen ! shall be trans
latedi atonce to aland where the people
wear no shoes and the shoemakers are
happy in doing nothing; tut ifit Is to
beipostponed let me know now, because
] must get ready Mrs. Browns shoes
forfsunday morning or lose the best
customer have"
The first story with which Nh. De-
pew made q public hit was one he orig
mated when he was q Yale student.
Since he first told 1t, thirty. years ago.
IL has been often repeated, has been ap.
propriated by other people who had no
right to IL, and has indeed, like many
other stories that he invented, become
common property. lit were to be told.
in publicto-morrow it would be pro-,
nounceda chestnut and nobody would
think Q fEeiying credit for it to its origi-
natorand original teller. Nh. Depew
placed.t the scene not in Peeksdllr but
ina fishing community where the eel
industry hourishes and the most sue.
cessful kinds of eel.pots are regarded
with high favor. The story was de-
signed as aioke on the poor Democratic
nafsy that Mr.. pepew has been ham.
merfng away at these many years. 1t
was intended to illustrate the Demo.
cratic party inthe position OF claiming
voters and allegiance simply because 1t
is the Democratic party. "Iama Demo.
crat, and on the record OF Gen. jack
SON.
Here is the story OF the afflicted.
widow andsthe consoling cells:
The wife Of q fisherman was ap-
preached one day BY his fellow workers
with abatement that her husband had.
been drowned. Her grief was inconsol:
able andher despair was heard through
the whole village. She went into con-
vulsions. Next day they came to her
again with the somewhat alleviating
announcement that the body had been
found; but they said, .its condition.
"A dreadful. q mWcIl,v she said, tell.
ma the worstn "Nell,n said they
amadam. he is covered with eels.n
covered with eels2t "Yes, madam.
We hated,to tell you, but 1t isl true. Hn.
IS covered with eels.N Well" said.
the widow, drying her tears, "set him
again
MI. Depew prepared. Q story to Hug
trate the Republican idea OF the Demo
cratic position; and told 1t with great
success: Here 1t ia:
2~Thesteacher OF the district school up.
atPeekrkfH called up the three BRIGHT
est boysin his class, one day and said:
Tom you area Republican Yes,
Dir.
And jim, you are a Pr%ohibitiouistl"
tyes3sir.
And Sam, you are a Democratic
tSess sir"
s.Well, nov, the one otyou that can.
give INC the best reason why he belongs
toshis party can have this woodchuck l
eftt6hk an nv tyaV la school. this morn.