The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1892-03-22
ESTABLISHED 1879
wnere WIN you get the shiiiingq

wnere wllI,you get the shiiiing?
At a dinner party in England the host
introduces to the favorable notice of
the company, amid murmurs of admira-
ton, splendid trufaed pheasant.
isn't 1t beauty9" he says CDR.
So-and-So gave it to me; killed it him
self
''Aw-what was he treating it for?"
says one of the guests.
"a smart answer is quite as good
when unprecedented.
81 could write like Shakespeare il I
had mind to- said Wadsworth to
Lamb.
"Yes, if you had mind to-" was
Elias quick reply.
do you see anything ridiculous in
this wig2p said pompous little judge
to Curran.
Nothing but the head" was the re-
ply.
The ''quirlzish reason" is nearly allied
to these.
And Able Bolleau being asked why
he always wrote in Latin, took pinch
of snuff and answered gravely:
why, for fear the bishops should
read mep'
Sheridan gave rather shrewd inti-
nation to sptnster who insisted upon
accompanying him in a walk after a
summer shower;
1T has cleared up enough for one.
madam, but NOT enough for two. "
The dusty hyperbole' suggests one
incident in the life of the elder Adams
Having grown corpulent in his old age.
and adverse to exercise, his physician
advised him to ride on horseback. He
consented to do so. Accordingly, a
large, lofty trotter was led to the door
and the venerable expressions
mounted. He rode down the avenue a.
the street at a smart trot, then wheeled
and returned. Being asked if he did
not intend to ride any further, he re-
piled:
mol would as soon ride Mount
Ararat in On earthquake
Diogenes INDUCED in tart irony"
when, observing over the door of a
schoolroom this inscription. LET no
deceiver enter here" he quietly asked,
''How does the teacher go imp"
Almost all of DIR. Johnsons witt
cism comes under the head of "pre-
sumptuous bluntness."
One Of his rough repartees has been
put in rhyme by Peter Pindar:
In Lincolnshire lady showed our friend
A grotto that she wished him to commend.
Quoth she How cool in summer this abode
yes madam" answered johnson, "for Q
toad.
For startling metaphor take Sgd
ney Smiths; when he saw little girl
stoop down and stroke the shell of a
turtle.
"Why are you doing that, BELIEF he
asked
ITO please the turtle.
MY child, you might as well stroke
the dome of St PauPs to please the
dean and chapter
l will give one instance of the ever
ready wit of DIR. Barrow himself Meet
ing the earl of Rochester one day the
witty peer exclaimed: my lord, ! am
yours to the shoetie.
To which the clergyman replied: s'My
lord, am yours to the ground.
The peer continued Doctor, I am
yours to the CENTER
''My lord, " retorted the doctor, 81 am
yours to the antipodes. 4"
Determined not to be outdone by
parson. his lordship said: Doctor, am
yours to the lowest pit of hell"
On viii Barrow turned on his heel
and said And there, my lord, | leave
you"
True wit combined with reproof
hope, in reading brief illustration
of a long definition. YOU NAV not be re-
minded 81 Douglas Jerrold's retort to
the would IS wit, who. having fred off
all his stale jokes with n4 effect ex
good thing
Don't I2'' said Jerrold. "0nly try
me with oner'-H Home Journal