The record-union., 1892-09-24
THADDY'S DEVICES.
Quaint Stories About an Old Cavalry
Sergeant.


Thaddy O'Brien, ranking Duty-Ser-
geant of Troop II, -th Cavalry, reioiced
in the possession Of one strong point at
least, and that was very strong one. He
adapted all things to the purposes for
which they were intended. If u recruit
received a campaign hat that was too
small for him, Thaddeus would promptly
seize it in his ponderous fists and stretch
it from six and three-quarters to seven
and half, or any other size that would
conveniently drop over "Johnny-come-
lately's' head. If it was too large it was
soaking with water it would get, and
piece of advice to 'Niver let water come
higher to We than that" The generous
and commodiouS Government sock I'M
derwent the same variation of initial di-
mansions, and never more than a single
size was ordered from the Quartermas-
ter's in that troop. If the unkind wind
whistled too ruthlesslv around the
ankles of "rukie' newly arrived from
Jefferson Barracks, clad in his issue
breecheS, which have always merited the
reputation OF being disproportionately
broad in the beam, the moment Thaddy
spied him he was sure to hear, Let out
yer suspenders, MANI
But the fact that this propensity was
generally appreciated never impressed
itself upon my mind until the afternoon
of one hot summer day when the troop
was making rapid ride to meet Pay
master. | had been jolting Indifferent
ly along, easing the horses on the down
grades and squirting on the levels, listen
ing to the jingle Of the canteens and pick
et-pins, and not paying much attention
to the chatf of the men III the rear, when
Thaddeus rode up and obtained permits
sion to fall out Of the column TO fix his
blanket. He was scarcely out of sight
behind the cloud of dust at the rear,
-t,- ion or
the head of the column shouted out:
Say, b'ys, l had dhream last night
I've bin explodin' to tell yez liver since!"
Tell u.s." instigated the.trumpeter.
81 thought l wuz dead and applyin' fur
admission at the gates NV hivin. They
opened the dure and TUX me in, to me be-
wilderin' establishment, widout askin' to
lux at me discharge from the last regi
ment. l felt very much at home, and
GALVANIZED right up TO the dure Nv the
orderly room. 1t wuz thin, whin l
shtepped into the blindin' glory Nv
that place, that me astonishmint resaved
its final blow. Phwat do yez think
saw ?'
mot wan of us could liver guess" eiac-
ulated the farrier.
~ beheld Thaddy O'Brien, dhressed in
lis best suit Nv full dhress, ishooin' halos
to the recrootsp'
"Muther NV Mowsesl it was night
mare" howled the trumpeter.
but that's not all. Whin he gave me
mine l persaved that it Wuz too small,
and l wuz atther handin' it back to him.
Phwat do yez think he towld me,
Bunkie?''
ITO git yer heels together and stand at
tenshun, maybe"
'Niver a bit. He SEE, with fierceness
in his voice, sez 'e 'Maloney, me man, it
is the proper size. Take ut out and
stretch it!''
1t was necessary to order a trot and
lead out lively to keep them from hearing
me smile.
This is the same Thaddy O'Brien that
was Sergeant of the guard when a certain
noted horse thief and deserter attempted
to- defeat the ends of justice down in
Texas few years ago by jumping out
through the window of the guard-room
and taking leg bail for the cnaparral. The
alarm was given before he was fifty yards
on his way by the crack of the carbine of
the sentinel on No. 1, and in another
minute every member of the guard was
on his back blazing away at him. All of
the bullets flew wild, and the deserter fled
on, jumping to right and left like sur
prised Tonic Apache. Thaddeus sat
down, with his carblne across his knee,
masuring with his eye the distance to a
wire fence through which the deserter
would have to pass before he gained the
shelter of the chaparral, regarding the
unsuccessful shots of the others with un-
feigned disgust. He set the sights.
eff ye don't come back, I'll have shot
at We myself" he shouted.
The deserter kept on, paying no heed
to- the warning, until he reached the
fence, and was obliged to stop to crawl
beneath it. At that moment Thaddy's
carbine popped, just as the officer of the
guard, who had been awakened by the
tumult, reached the spot. He states that
the deserter was under the fence when
they found him, and that he lived long
enough to request them to write to his
| mother and tell her that he died with her
name upon his lips. There being no law
to punish guards for shooting criminals
| escaping from under their charge, the
matter ended when the last shovelful of
earth was patted down on the grave OF
the deserter.-Harper's Weekly.