Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-12-22
A HUMORIST ON his CALLING.


which he portrays the peculiar life of
the common people in secluded town,
which, If read aloud by those familiar
with the Scotch accent Is exceedingly
snjOyable.)
After the eight o'clock bell lad rung
Henry occasionally crossed over to the
farm of T'nowhead and sat ON the pig
aty. If no one joined him he scratched
the pig. and returned home gradually.
Here what was almost q club held In
formal meetings, ut which two or four,
or even a half a dozen, assembled to
debate, when there was any one to start
them. The meetings were only mem
orable when Tammas Haggart was IN
fetue, TO pronounce judgments In his
wen known sarcastic way. Sometimes
he got OFF the pig-sty to separate before
Iammas was properly yoked. There
we might remain i long time, planted
round him like trees, for he was mes
mer1zing talker.
There was pail belonging to the pig
sty, which some would turn bottom
upward and sit upon, if the attendance
was unusually numerous. TammaS
liked, however, to put foot on it now
and again in the full swing of a har-
rangue, and when he paused for sIr-
casm l have seen the pail kicked toward
him He had the wave of the arm, that
Is so convincing in argument, and such
natural way Of asking questions, that
an audience not used to public speaking
might have thought he wanted them to
10 to1 +lNlT
when he went on the platform, at the
time OF the election, to heckIe the col
Onel, he paused in the middle Of his
questions to take q drink out Of the
tumblcr of water which stood on the
table. AS soon as they saw what he
was up to, the spectators raised Il ring
ing cheer.
On concluding his perorations, Tam
mas sent his snulf-mull round, but we
had our own way OF passing him Il vote
OF thanks. One of the company would
express amazement at his gift OF words,
and the others would add, man, man."
or, "Ye COW, Tanmas," or What a
crittur We are! all which CALCULATIONS
meant the same Thing. A new subject
being thus inseniously introduced, Tam
mas again put his foot on the pail.
Il talk no Credit" he said, modestly,
on the evening, l remember, OF Willie
Pyatt's funeral, in bein' able to speak
wi sort o faculty on topics at Eve
made my ain"
"Ay," said Tnowhead, but it's no
the faculty o speakin' at takes me.
There's David Lunan at can speak like
as If he had learned it off a paper, an
yet l Gamma th0le i'm"
"Davit," said Hendry, "doesna speak
In "a way at body can follow i'm. He
doesna gaze even OH. Jess says he's just
like man aye Ut the cross roads, an
no sure o his wy. But the stock has
words, an no ilka body has that"
If i was hidden to put Tammas' gift
in Il word" said TnoWhead, L would
say at he had Wy. That's what i
would say"
'Weel, 1 suppose l have" Tammas
admitted, but, wy or no WY, l couldua
put ii point on my words ii it wasna tor
my sense o humor. Lads, humor's what
gies the nip to speak n!'
Its what makes ye a sarcesticiSt,
i
wonder at is yer sayin' the humorous
things sac aisy like. Some says ye make
them up Il forehand, but l ken that's
no true
mo only isn't no true" said Tammas,
but it couldna be true. Them at says
sic things, and. weel l ken you're
meanin' DaVit lunan, has M idea o
what humOr is. It's u thing at spouts
cut o its ain accord. Some o the maist
humorous things I've ever said cam
cot, as body may say, by themseps."
i suppose that's the case" said
Tnowead. an yet it maun be you at
brings them up?'
There's no nae doubt about Its being
the case" said Tammas, for I've
watched myself often. There was Il
vara guild instance occurred sune after
I married EaSie. The Earl's son met
me one day, ABBOTT that time, j. the tene-
ments, and he didna ken ut Christy was
deid, an I'd married again. Well Hag
CART he says, In his frank wy, and
how is your wifeP She's yara weel,
SIR / maks answer, but she's no the
ane you mean!'
Ma, he meant Christy," said Hendry.
lis that a the story? asked Tnow
head. Tammas had been looking at us
queerly.
There's no ane o we lauchin!' he
said; but can assure We the Earls son
gaed east the toon lauchin' like ony
thing"
But what was he LAUGHED at?'
"Ou," said Tammas, "a humorist does
ma tell whear the humor comes in
mo, but when you said that, did ye
mean 1t to be humorousw
Am no sayin' l did, but as I've been
tellin' ye, humor spouts DOT by itself!''
"Ay; but do ye ken moo what the
Earl's sou gaed AVA lauchin' atT
Tammas heSitated.
Il dinna exactly Sect" he confessed,
but that's no an uncommon thing. a
hmnorist would often no ken at he was
ane, if it wasna by the wy he maks
other fowk LAUGH. A body Gamma be
expeckit bath to max the joke an to
sect Ma, that would be dom twa
fowks' wark."
'Weel, that's reasonable enough, but
I've often seen We lauchin,'" said
Hendry, long afore other fowk LAUGH
ed"
Nae doubt" Tammas explained, AN
that's because humor has twa sides, just
like n nenny niece, When | say a hui