Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-05-06
PITH AND POINT.

A winter resort Trying to keep warm.
New York Journal.
Running expenses are those which YOU
pay as you go.-Augusta Chronicle.
Ii man once poses rs widc-awakc
citizen he must not repose. Boston
Post.
Abig enterprise on foot-A man start.
ing to walk around the world.--Boston
Journal.
1t is not very serious matter to Quar-.
rel with an actress. She never refuses to
"make up."-Boston Post
There are too many people in the
world who use their nest.eggs to make
cake of.--Atchison Globe.
'Therc are times when he is very
gloomy" 81 don't wonder: he calls
himself q sclf-madc man. New York
Press.
A Western lecturer has selected for
his subject "a Bad Egg" This subject
often strikes lecturer unfavorably.
Texas Siftings.
Rosalinc-'How is your new beau?-
Gracc-"Oh, he promises we'll" Rosa
New York Herald.
When an unmarried woman says she
has remained single from choice, do not
be so rude rs to ask her ''from whose
choice?'-Boston Transcript.
George Eliot says: "The man who
trusts friend educatcs him" But the
truster often gets the most experimental
knOwlplup II olumh,,s Doct
An anti-crank bill has been intro
duced into Congress. The farmers boy
will be anxious to know if it includes
the grindstone.- Courier.
The banana has n great variety of
uses. 1t is said that flour is nov made
from it. 1t is no secret that the skin
makes low slippers. -Lowcll Courier.
Querist- "Why did you borrow that
five of Smith, the restauratours"
Audace-"To give = little lunch at the
Elite Cafe. Kate Fields Washington.
After much solicitation the German
Government has decided not to send tho
Watch on the Rhine to the Worlds CO.
lumbian Exposition Circu.
lar.
A woman can give much more advive
about how to keep husbands love on
the first anniversary OF her marriage than
she can at her silver wedding. -Elmira
Gazette.
He (tishing for compliment)-
handsome men are conccited, you know"
She-"But it does not follow that all
conceited men are handsome Boston
Transcript.
Lady engaging servant)-"You seem
to possess every necessary qualification.
Have you n sweetheart" Servant
''No mum; but can soon get one."-
The Comic.
Hc--"Well, how is Mr.. Jones getting
on since his acci1cnt2" She-"Thcy
say he doesn't seem like himself" He
swell, that must be comfort to his
wife. Boston Beacon.
Mistress-'tFanchette why. don't YOU
sweep with the new broomG" FancLette
-''Rut, madame, the room was so dirty
thought I'd use the old one little vet
and save the new one. Comic.
Young Mrs. Fitts-"You do not tire
of my singing, do you, dear?" Mr.. Fits
love; your voice reminds mo SO
much of that girl was engaged to along
in 1885" And she hasn't sang anything
since. indianapolis Journal
''Why, how is this? You, your wife.
and all of the family have got your faces
bandaged? Are you all afflicted with
the toothachc2" "You see, our oldest is
learning to be a dentist and SO he is
drawing our teeth for bit of practice. D.
-DorTbarbier.
Iommys Mamma Gas Tommy suddenly
BURST out crying-"What is the mat
terg' Tommy--"I hurt myself this
afternoon" Tommys ADMINISTERING
didn't you cry then instead of now?''
Tommy" Cause Twas busy. was
playin' with Freddy then. Comic.
Bultinch ''NIiss Smilax has a wonder
full memory" Wooden-sWhy. what
proof has she given ofit2" Bulfinch-
why, l met her at supper last night
and she not only reminded me abont orr
being engaged last summer, but gave me
q number of the details. Boston Cour-
ter.
Jack Rardup with unwontcd enthusi-
asm)-"By Jovel see that some fellow
is talking about introducing bill into
the mousse making 1t mlsdemeanor to
send annoying letters to any one. Very
clever idea that. I'll have my tailor
locked up for six months, by Jovcn'-
Tit-Bits.
A famous railway president, while out
for constitutional few weeks since,
noticed son Of toll digging ditch.
'Pretty hard work9" suggested the rail-
way magnate. The laborer put down his
pick and shovel and replied, with delib-
Grafton: swell, it ANTI lawn tinnus."
--Harper's Drawer.
Philistine Wife-"Your paper isn't at
all amusing just now. But there, must
confess it is not easy to be either funny
or witty every week." Journalist (much
worfied) -''No, my dear, much easier to
be always dull aud prosaic every even.
ing" EIe was about to add personal
illustration, but as, fortunately, he didn't
Al 4 = 4 -.