Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1892-03-31

gTatultOuS Catalogue WIN WtAtH f'~7
presented BY one Of the gorgeous gen
( tlemen in the scarlet gowns who re-
/ semble lord chief Justices or doctors OF
music Of the University Of Ozford-ai
least they do at the private views 10
the general public on ordinary occa'
sions they are only common door
keepers. I almost snatehed the eata-
logue, say, and With trembling
fingers ! turned TO the index and
looked mp Badger. Michael Angelo
found it-No- $50. ] turned II up
in the body of the catalogue and
a thrill of anguish and disappointment
ran through my breast This is what
read: .'s39-A Nihilist Conspiracy.
Michael Angelo Badger" What could
it mean? The great Goose club pic
ture had. then. been refused. All mel
the disappointment was too cruel
/ could have shed tears, but the
agony felt at that moment was moth
ing to what was to follow. flung
myself down on one of the big settees
and tried to compose my feelings. As
] did so Mr. Ahitophel, the picture
dealer, catalogue in hand. passed me
and gave me friendly nod-the i'm
pudent beggarl use the word beg
gar in its fgurative sense, for Mr.
Ahitophel is, as you know, disgusting
" rich. And then twenty-eight Of my
intimate acquaintances slowly passed
me. one by one. Each of them looked
as If he was attending his own funeral.
Poor fellows, how sympathized with
them! Suddenly ! received tremen-
GUS slap on the back. II was Pug
wash, the sculptor. 1t wasn't we'll
chosen moment for Shaping me on
the back / turned gloomily toward
him; my heart was too full for words
"What's the matter. old mani said
Pugwash, the sculptor. airily. Have
you had your pocket picked?'
''It'll be an awful blow for Badger"
said /. in a voice that might have
touched heart OF stone. Its fear
full disappointment to us"
Don't be a fool" said Pngwash,
dragging me to my feet Lets come
and have a look at il.
/ followed him into room six 1t was
there, sir, and in front of it stood Mr.
Ahitophel. smiling blandly. and TWEEN
ty-eight of my intimate acquaintance,
each with a face a yard and a half
long. / needn't describe the picture;
it's too well known. | was the central
figure. have nothing to complain Of
as to the likeness. The likeness was
perfect. Upon that dreadful canvas,
sir, the fire Of genius sparkled from
my eyes, but | was dressed in a sheep
skin coat, sir, and a muddy pair of
butcher boots. In my hand held an
internal machine, the properties of
which was apparently explaining to
my twenty-nine fellow-conspirators
There was a small petroleum lamp on
a little table in the center of the pic
ture, which lighted up the faces Of the
conspirators with a sort of devilish
glare. They all wore
muddy boots and sheepslxin coats.
"Ain't it splendid, dear boys?' said
Mr.. Ahitophel, with sort OF circular
wink that took us all in
at once.
None of us answered him.
well, anyhow" continued Ahito-
phel, I've bought il and paid him four
figures for it. And you'll find pate de
foie gras and dry Monopole in Suther-
land avenue at two sharp; and shall
be delighted to see the lot Of You"
None of us went to Mr.. Ahitophel's
unch-none of us, mean, except Pug
wash; and he's a fellow who would
unch with the king OF the Cannibal !
Stands if there were plenty Of cham
oagne.
II gave him the idea" shouted Pug
wash, triumphantly. THE accessories !
ire delightfully."- correct brought 'em
rom Russia myself"
Our twenty-nine hearts were too full 1
or words.
It's the picture Of the year, said
Mr. Ahitophel, delightedly.
And it was.
And then Badger suddenly appeared.
of course we had to congratulate
lin. I'm afraid we did it in a rather
Ialf-hearted way.
Its a capital Joke, isn't it?H said
Badger
And then we all laughed loud, hol-
ow, unmeaning exclamation. 1t was
he laugh of chorus of Adelphi guests.
"You saved me pots of money in
lodels, dear boys" said Badger. "Ac-
ept my grateful thanks" And then
e solemnly shook hands with us all,
ne after the other.
| have never shaken hands with Bad
er since
What conceited fellows artists are,-
'ittsburgh Leader
Moss-Covered Chestnuts.
Self-respecting journals in this year
our Lord, 1892, do not want Jokes
bout the mother-in-law; the goat; the
'ver and the bulldog; the wooer and
he fathers boot; the daughter and the
bal gas bill; the spring chicken;
Cr1rincr ha Al ]