Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-17
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

WHEN buckwheat cake ;s not aono
up brown 1t becomes fiat failure. Pic
dyat11e -
HE cat may rail at the old moon and
the dog may bay it, but thev can't
phase it.-Dallac Neays. -
OF course, the ladies' of Now yorl
look upon Jack the Hairc1tter,, as .
Darberous fellow Nemplis Ippeaz- I1ra1-
cnche. '''' 80 : go
"IHERE's richness for you,' said the
doctor, as he injected CHARGE of GOLD
INTO respondent hummer Bing6an,-
tom Republican. ''''""'-
PROMINENCE has it's drawbacks. The
urum major doesn't see near as mnch Of
the parade as the man on the curbstone.
-lndaanapolSs Meas.
NV ,"IaE water Of the ocean is not fresh.
why - asked the teacher. Because. y
salo Willie, there's so much OF it no.
ppoy can empty it out and renew -
Horper's Bazar. " "
TEACHER OF PHYsIoLoGY.-''What in
gredlent which is highly essential in
tne composition of the human body
ooes sugar possess % Pupils Tin one
voice. sand. '-Pharmoceutical Era.
HoW do you like city hustle ?" she
said to the visitor from the country.
oon Know" he answered, rather
abashed. 1T kinder struck me that
they warn't wearin' 'en any more 80 So
Washington Star.
SIS vessel a boat % Yes .ssav
pa" ''What is it?'' "What kind Of 3,
boatis a bloodvessel? ?" otis life-boat.
NOW run away to bed ."-Nev York Led
| ger.
DE recordln' angel won't hab to work
nights, deah breddern, putting down
de good deeds ob de folks that keep
Lent just because it's fashionable an
because dev am afraid dat if dey doan
keep 1t dey won't be in the swim. The
| Rec. Pink Punk.
EyADING THE LAw.--Lawyer-"W ell -.
we got the best of them this time. You
have been sentenced to ninety-nine
years in prison. Convict Ninety
nine years Why, I'll be dead before I
have served half of it," eyes; that is
| WI here you got the best of 'em."-M-
| dionapoHs Journal.
SHE (after the service )-"You dread
full fellow Why did you smile during
the otfertory?" He-'I couldn't help
1t. There was Miss Addie Pose singing.
Had I the Wings of Dove The
mental picture Of q twelve-stoner try
was too much for ."-Peorson's
Weekly.
CALLED you freckled idiot How
absurd! Why, you are not freckled !
Fen.
IT is mistaken idea that loud talk
gives tone to society," Boston Trans
| crypt.
A PICKPoCKET must learn his busin ess.
He cannot succeed until he gets his
hand in.-Picayatne.
The man who has no business of his
own to attend to always goes to bed
tired.-Rom's Horn.
You can't argue with a woman; the
best thing you can do is to let her argue
with you.-Elmiro Gazette.
A MANS hand and his fist are identi-
cal, yet it makes considerable difference
which is shaken Union County Stand
ard
MEN who declare the world owes
them a living are usually too lazy to
hustle around and collect it Washing
ion Star
IT'S another indication of the equaliz-
ing influences of this glorious country
that woman's social position doesn't
always affect her standing In a horse
COI II fCtt,ct0ctpftttb Il HCCo.
Mrs. POTTER We'll, I wonder what
kept you out all night this time - Jack
Potter-''I sat up with sick friend"
Mrs. Potter-sWhat was his com
plaint?" Mr.. Potter-"He complained
that the rest of us cheated him. "-Ptck.
Some years ago Mr.. Rothschild eager
ly argued, at an Israelite consistorv, the
doctrine of Immortality of the soul. A
Jewish savant Of the oldest school, who
related this to me, added this refiec-
ton: "Can anyone understand this
A man who is so rich-and bankers aft
er paradise in the bargain He ought to
leave that to us poor devils n'-Renau' s
Fouiilets Detaches.
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER. - Counsel
evil you tell the jury, Mr.. o' H
what the prisoner said to to you" WI VT
djurymin will step over foreninst me
from bevant there it's wild pleasure Oi'll
tell him that same.'' Counsel-"Come,
no nonsense Tell the jury from where
YOU are what the prisoner said" WIT
ness-.'An', fax, how can u, sor? Inc ne,
wretch only spuk to me wild his boot !
Fem.
ton Transcript.
Music seems TO De organic WIFI
Italians.-7eros SJhngs. ,
"DoEs Jay Gould belong, to the
400 ?" "No; but if they don't look
ont most of the 400 will belong to
Jay."-Susith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
BARBER During shampoo "Are you
troubled at all by your hair coming
out?'' Cholly feeling where MS NOUS
tache ought to appear )-'No, me deah
man. I'm twoubled because 1t won't
come out. "-Haruard Lampooa
FnANk-''Dyou know, I heard the ne
other day that the s bloek do Ifu b, T in
l America take nearly year to engrave.,n
f5i iIs realIyI i suppose, that's
why why they're 50 expensive: '-!',dy;
MArcl is vile month";" said Mabel:
81 hate to go out on on, March ar T aa bsad. j
n ianaay me me- How unfortunate !" said
HEAVYWEIGHT eav Cant you fasten 1t on
MORE securely ?''-Harpe1''s BaSar.