Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-11-03
some SHARP sayInrs.


Some sharp Sayings.
"WoRKIN' now, Pete?" @Eaw, j
got a job In de city hall. - Buffalo
Express.
THE bunco man is not fastidious.
He lives on the simplest things he
can find. -Elmira Gazette.
WHAT little tit OF thing your
baby sister Isl" "Yes'm; it's con-
denscd milk baby. Good News.
MISS OLDUN Johnnie, name the
four seasons. Johnnie-Pepper, vine
gar, salt and mustard. - Brooklyn
Life.
THE fair sex is capable of almost
anything when driven to 1t. Ex-
ample. Nancy Hanks.-Jamestown
News
IL HAVE lots to tell you about"
said the real estate man, meeting an
an old friend on the street. -Yonkers
Statesman.
DEILING-~Why did you leave the
lecture platform, Larkin? Larkin-
Well, 1 was egged on to take that
step.
A MERE question of sex: well,
Willie, did you master your lesson to-
day?" Nom; 1 missed it. "-Phila-
delphia Record.
BUYER-ls this suit all wool? Mo-
zinsky-I Won't lie to you, my friend,
for it is not; de buttons vas made OF
silgk. Brooklyn Eagle.
If folks will fool with other peo-
pies money and get behind the wicket
OF cell door in consequence, that's
their lookout. Philadelphia Times.
HICKs-There For once I'll know
where that collar button is when 1
want it. Mrs Hicks Where is it?
Hicks-The baby has swallowed it.
Truth.
GRAMMAR CLASS -Teacher-Now,
Johnny, see il you can't give me an
example OF a sentence. johnny
Ten dollars or ten days. Black and
White.
RETROGREssIvE progress is the
backward search through life which
many a man makes in quest of things
ne has thrown over his shoulder
Oil City Blizzard.
CARAwAY-"Thee lopement Of Che
Dey's wife was in the nature OF a
boomerang, wasn't it?" Hooks
~How so?p Caraway-~She returned
the next day."-Truth.
GRACE-How did Mrs. Duton man.
age to have so many men at her tea?
ROsalie-Oh, she had the wine list
printed on the back Of the cards she
sent out.-New York Herald.
@BEEN South, understand" Yes;
| 1 was down there nearly all summer.
Great country. Very hospitable
I yeople." "Yes indeed. Butter flows
: like water there in the summer.
TEACHER-In what part Of the Ri.
BILE is it taught that a man should
have only one wife? Little Boy
guess it's the part that says no man
can serve two masters>-Good News.
Il suppose when you marry the
duke you will go to his home i'm Eng
land with him?" "Dear me, no!
, wouldn't trust myself away over there
. with man 1 know so little about. p
Life.
D AN Atchison boy complained Of
| having a pain in his hip, and an in
: yestigation revealed the fact that In
: had so many things in his pockets
that it hurt him to walk---Atchisor
, Globe.
l JoHNNY-"Mamma, can't you tel
4 me a new fairy story" Mrs. Bragg
y 81 don't know any, Johnny
5 Maybe your father will tell me some
when he comes in tonight. "-Bostor
Gazette.
! LITTLE Boy Visiting in the coun
} try)-"Oh, mamma, L saw grea
u big mamma pig down to the barn.
Mamma-"You did?" Little Boy
u ~Yes, an she had whole lot Of pig
, mics. Good News.
: MOTHER "Why aren't you an,
: George as good boys as your littl
. brother?" Young Hopcful-"I CUES
a it's cause you'd had more experienc
q bringin' up boys wen you commence
q on him."-Good News.
SUE DEERrNa - I'm afraid pap
@ was angry when you asked him TO
me, WASN'T ne, JdCk, lOFe' JaC
Hillow-Not at all. He asked if
knew any more respectable yOun
C men who would be likely to MARI
q your five sisters if properly coaxed. :
4 Harper's Bazaar.
l. HIGH PRESSURE CIVILIZATION. :
IT Stranger-@I don't see how an oil
o man can get around New York with
n out being run over" New Yorker
+ "By the time man gets old in Me-
" York he's rich enough to have a cal
d riage, or else he's in lunat!
|, asylum. New York Weekly.
}, SHE-Did you have pleasar
s evening at the Tollivers'? He-Ye:
AS soon as / put my right arr
h around Daisy's waist she put bot
If hers around mine. Then she scream
e ed. / let go, but she hung on. He
L father came In and read the statute
It referring to breach Of promise-an
Is yes, had very nice time. Me-
,e York Herald. -