davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
Cbubb,s Autobiography.

said to my mother, 1 will become a
messenger boy and support this family in
luxury, and so / went to the man who
bosses the Office on Broadway and stated
my ambition. He said to me, are you a
rapid boy, and | told him was the rap
idist boy in New York. He said, very we'll,
and he gave me what my ambition had
craved. 1 am there yet. l am No. IA in
the office, and when am sent out / am
chain lightning. I carried message to
Russell Sage one day and he looked at me
and said, why this rapidity of promptnesse
and said, it is my way honored sir, and
cannot hesitate to linger. He said, you
have started in right, and you will some
day be blown up with bomb and have
richness of wealth. After that was more
rapid than before.
l met a editor on Sixth avenue train.
He watched me closely for long time,
and when he was assured of my untiring
vigilance he said to me that l should write
up my life and adventures for the public
to read. II would lead other boys to be
rapid and generous. He took dime out
of his pocket and seemed about to hand it
to me as n reward for my unwearied zeal,
but his mind changed over and he restored
it to his receptacle, was not quite so
rapid after that,
One day when l met a telegraph boy in
Exchange place he said to me; You are a
fool for your quick rapidity. have been
promoted three times, and yet 1 linger to
saunter when carrying a telegram"
said it was my ambition to be the chained
lightningest messenger in New York, and
he said, you are noble liar. Then we
fit. licked When he had been inglori-
ously vanquished l said to him, you can
now see the value of my rapid suddenness
and hope you will reform and become an
eminent citizen.
/ was sent in answer to a call from a
spacious mansion on Fifth avenue. was
there with such incalculable rapidity that
the lady of the house says boy. 1 have seen
much rapid swiftness in my time, but
nothing to equal this. How do you man.
age it, And l said it was the fires of am,
bition blazing In my youthful breast.
should be proud to call you my son, she
said, and she gave me an extra nickel to
assist me in my determined efforts to at
tain wealth
l met q policeman as | was passing up
Fourth avenue with my inoonceivable sud,
! denness. He halted me and said boy, why
this unseemly haste to overtake your des
! tinationt And said because l am working
in the interests of my employers, honored
officer, and l hope by the exercise Of un
paralleled energy to merit promotion and
thus to fill the measure of my overpower
ing ambition. This is all at present.
NJ. QUAD.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
dent of dis club, sot up all night de odder

dent of dis club, sot up all night de odder
night bekase de family teakettle sounded O
warnin soon arter supper. 1t seems to
me, from what I hev heard doorin de
last TO- weeks dat nine-tenths of de
members of dis club am nightly 'spectin
to see ghosts walkin about DER bedrooms.
1 desiah to call yo'r attenshun to bylaw
No. o51, which yo' hev perhaps dun forgot.
1t reads dat any member of dis club who
believes in ghosts may be fined as high as
$4,000 or expelled from de club. De secre-
tary will now call de roll. All yo' dat
believe in ghosts will stand up as he hits
yo'r names"
The secretary called the roll, but not a
member stood up.
de ghost bizness seems to hev played
out all of suddenr' observed the presi-
dent as the list was finished Perhaps,
howeber, we hev some members who be-
lieve in signs an warnin's. De secretary
will call de roll agin, an de believers will
stand up Befo' doin so l should like to
call yo'r attenshun to bylaw No $50,
which reads dat any believer in signs an
warnin's may be fined as high as $4,000
or suspended from de club fur one var"
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
Henry George ON Indirect Taxation.

In Henry Georges Protection or Free
Trade" which is just now being extern
sively circulated by members of con-
gress, the author thus clearly shows
how oppressively indirect taxes-and
especially tariff taxes-bear upon the
poor, while the rich almost entirely es-
cape: ga still more important objection
to indirect taxation is that when i'm
posed on articles of general use land it
is only from such articles that large
revenues can be had) it bears with far
greater weight on the poor than on the
rich. Since such taxation falls on peo-
pie not according to what they have but
according to what they consume, it is the
heaviest on those whose consumption is
largest in proportion to their means.
CAS- much sugar is needed to sweeten a
cup of tea for working girl as for the
richest lady in the land, but the propor-
ton of their means which tax on sugar
compels each to contribute to the govern
ment in the case of the one is much
greater than in the case of the other.
So it is with all taxes that increase the
cost of articles of general consumption.
They bear far more heavily on married
men than on bachelors; on those who
have children than ON those who have
none; on those barely able to support
their families than on those whose in
comes leave them large surplus.
''If the millionaire chooses to live
closely he need pay no more of these
indirect taxes than the mechanic. ]
have known at least two millionaires-
possessed not of one, but of from six to
ten millions each-who paid little more
of such taxes than ordinary day la
borers."
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL TICKET
ANOTHER COPPER TRUST.

Producers Have Agreed to Restrict Pro-
duction After July I,
The New York Daily Commercial Bull
letin Of JUNG 19 says: CATER long pc
Rod of negotiation the producers of COP
per in Europe and the United States
haze arrived at an agreement to restrict
production after July next. The Ameri-
can producers have agreed to restrict
their exports of copper to Europe, in con
sideration for which the Spanish produ-
GERS have pledged themselves to cut
down their production 8 per cent. The
object of this agreement is of course to
bring about higher level of prices"
Whether or not the producers can sue
cessfully hold together to put prices
back where they were during the exist
ence Of the great copper combine in
1850, it is certain that there has been
left for them duty of II cents per
pound, which was about all Mckinley
could do to invite another copper trust to
repeat the outrage perpetrated in 1889
upon the American people. 1t will be
remembered that in 1889 the copper trust
sold American copper SO much cheaper
in Europe that it was reimported and
sold at a profit here after paying duty
of four cents per pound, and from April
to August, 1889, the foreign price never
exceeded eight cents and the domestic
price was never less than twelve cents.
But for the duty no such difference could
have existed and the effects of the French
syndicate upon our industries would have
been as slight as they were upon Europe
an industries.
The effect of high prices for raw ma
terials of any kind is farreaching and
disastrous. How the consumers of cop
per were affected by the high prices of
1888 is described by James Powell, presi-
dent of the Union Brass company, of
Cincinnati, in The Engineering and
Mining Journal of Jan. 10, 1890:
''When the syndicate began brass
workers all over the country We're fully
employed at good wages, and while the
demand for goods may not have been
kept up at all times with the same vigor,
yet the price of the raw material was
such as to afford living profit to the
copper producer only.
''The consumption of brass goods for
steam, water and gas has fallen off from
25 to 40 per cent, with no immediate
prospect of an improvement The ma
nipulations of the combine have been the
most disastrous calamity for the general
copper consuming industries of this
country that has ever befallen them"
AS evidence that the American end of
this agreement" is made in good faith,
it is reported from Marquette, Mich,
that general strike is imminent at the
great Calumet and Hecla copper mine
The company instead of acknowledging
openly that they intend to restrict pro.
duction by closing the mine, announce
that they will discharge all employees
who are members of the Knights OF
Labor or of any other labor organization
They know that this will not only pre-
cipitate long struggle that will restrict
production, but it will give them an op
portunity to utilize cheap ''scab" labor
when they are ready to resume opera
tons, and perhaps to starve some of the
strikers into accepting lower wages.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
BROTHER GARDNER ON "SIeNs.n
Sudden Collapse of the Ghost, Sign and
Dream Business.

Sudden Collapse of the Ghost, Sign and
Dream business.
When the regular business of the Satur-
day night meeting of the Limekiln club
had been concluded Brother Gardner arose
and looked down the aisles as if in search
of certain members, and finally begun:
ut has lately come to my knowledge
dat sartin members Of dis club am firm
believers in signs en- warnin's Fur in
stance, am told dat Brudder Standoff
jackson heard a clock strike thirteen
times de odder night an he was SO affected
dat he couldn't go to work next day. He
believed it was sign of a sudden death in
his family. am told dat Brudder Givea-
dam Jones saw de new moon over his left
shoulder one night last week, an he done
felt SO poky ober it cat he had to soak his
feet an go to bed. | Parn dat Brudder
Waydown Bebee saw three white HOSES
clus together de odder day on de street an
he run home to see If de baby was dead.
"Only last night | was informed dat
Kurnel Kyann johnson, second vice presi-
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05

Copyright, 1892, by Charles B. Lewis.1
A FINE PoINT.-The editor of The KICK
Err Cwho is ourself) has private graveyard
containing quarter o. an acre of ground
UP to the present date there ape ten
mounds in the Enclosure, each representing
person who died very suddenly within a
few feet of us. AS we have been to the ex-
pense OF over 800 for funeral outfits, and
at least $3.50 more in sodding the ground
and planting shrubs ard flowers, we think
we can be pardoned for any little display
OF egotism on our part Our plot is one of
the sights of the town. and is generally the
hrst thing stranger inquiries after. We
are now expanding fifty dollars to improve
bhe highway connecting the town and the
plot, and travel will soon be made more
convenient. The point lately raised by
some Of the boys is this: His honor the
mayor (who is ourselD is handy with the
gun, and will probably shoot some one
within short time in The line of duty. In
case he does, should lis victim go in as
no. II in THE KICKER graveyard, or would
he be privileged to start new one on his
his own book? The matter is being gen.
orally discussed and has aroused great in,
terest, and we shall 81 bmit it to an attor-
ney this week for legal opinion,
STEvE's MIsTAKE.-When Steve TAYLOR
was appointed town m lrshal THE KICKER
advanced the opinion that he was weak in
the back and would "crawr'' if he got into
g tight place. Steve and his friends were
down on us for the announcement, and we
believe it was Steve himself who fired
bullet into this Office one night few
weeks ago and shot the pendulum off our
eight day clock. The affair of Sunday
night proved the correctness of our opin.
ion regarding Steve's sand A Bad Man
from Zuni broke loose all of a sudden and
began firing right and left. Steve hap
pened to be within twenty feet of him, but
the ping" of bullets started him off down
the street like an antelope. His honor the
mayor (who Is ourself) was in church and
heard the firing. He ran straight for the
crowd, sized up the situation at glance
and next moment he had the Bad Man by
the neck. The fellow was quickly dis
armed, and within five minutes Of his first
shot he was lying on the floor of the Gala
bose and wondering which side of the
United States had tipped up on him.
Monday morning he was so anxious to get
out Of town that he was willing to go with
out his guns, which will be sold at auction
for the benefit of the street improvement
fund. Steve Taylor has handed in his res
ignation and begged our pardon He
thought he had sand, but it was a mistake
He will open a carpenter shop on Cactus
street, and his advertisement will appear
in our next issue
No LIBEL SUIT.-A few weeks ago we
felt it our duty as conscientious editor
to refer to Colonel Dan Skinner, who runs
the whisky ranch on the other bank of
Plum Greek, as a man whose absence from
this locality would he of great benefit
We haven't time to look back through our
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05

member seemed to hold himself down in
his chair.
"Doan' seem to be nobody standin upT
said Brother Gardner, as he looked around
the room I'VE will now see how many
members believe in dreams. BY law No
653 reads dat any member who processes
his belief in dreams or who shall argufy to
another member dat dreams am sent by de
angels in heaven to warn us of what am TO
come may be fined as high as 81, 900 or
suspended fur six months. All yo' dat
believe In dreams stand up as yo'r names
am called"
For the third time the roll was called
without member moving foot. AS the
secretary sat down profound silence fell
upon the 100 men. The president finally
broke in on it by rising and observing:
mo ghosts-no signs an warnins-no
dreams! Seems like l was dun mistaken
about it. Brudder Jackson how about dat
clock strikin thirteen times?"
Reckon l counted one too many. sab"
"Brudder Jones, how about dat new
moon?"
81 doan' believe in no new moons, sab"
"An, Brudder Bebee, yo saw three white
bosses an 'spected de baby to die, did yo'?''
NO sab. ! jest went back home to git
my hammer dat I'd dun forgot
''Oh, l see! Kurnell johnson, how about
dat tea kettle?"
Dat was all in fun, sab"
1T was, ehY Well, lie powerful glad
to h'ar dat dis club am all right on signs,
warnins, ghosts an SIGH, an l hope it
will stay all right. lie an ole man, an in
my time lie met up wild heaps o. SIGH stuff.
1t ar my candid belief, based on sixty
Vars O. walkin round on top dis y'arth,
dat de man who runs bizness 'cordin to
dreams an signs was BON fur fule an
jist missed it by an inch! l haint gwine to
be so arbitrary as to say dat GUILD folks
can't see ghosts sittin in de cane seat
rockin cheer at midnight, wild DER eyes
a-rollin an DER teef a-clashiH, or dat dey
| shan't h'ar death ticks in de wall an
Strange whispers floatini in de air. Isimply
say dat members of dis club who see an
h'ar SIGH things will git down stairs an
| out o dis organizashun wild such sudden
rapidness dat race bosses can't ketch 'em.
We will now bust up de meetin an go
home"
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
]. E. REIDY. T. 3. REIDY,
R Rel: Bros {: s; ,'''''
THE POPULAR
Real Estate
Insurance,
AGENTS.

We now have some frst-class bargains in real
estate which will net all the way from to IL per
cent the investment. 1t will be to the interest
of parties who have their money placed at less
rate Of interest 10 call and examine toe bargains
Room 4. Mitchell & Lynde building, ground
floor, in rear OF, Mitchell & ynde bank.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
ARIZONA KICKER.
LIVELY TIMES REPORTED BY THE
EDITOR AND MAYOR.

The Beautiful Private Graveyard-steve
Taylor Shows the White Feather, just
as the Editor said-Running Down
Colonel Skinner.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05
Notice.

Being DESTROYS of closing up all my
accounts at once l respectfully ri quest
all indebted to me 10 call at my resi-
dence, 1116 Third avenue. as early as
possible and settle, as wish to have all
matters Strengthened by July 1.
FRANK G. You've.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05

am wobblin like a rabbit in a bresh fence.
Git up, ole man-git up an cum along an
bring dat tone wild yo', and be dun glad yo'
ha;n't an ole fool niger no mol Yo's
bin toned, an yo's jess like white GEM
Ian nowr'
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05

No LIBEL SUIT.-A few weeks ago we
felt it our duty as a conscientious editor
to refer to Colonel Dan Skinner, who runs
the whisky ranch on the other bank of
Plum Greek, as a man whose absence from
this locality would he of great benefit.
We haven't time to look back through our
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-07-05

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in it's
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
manyexcellentqualities commendit
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 75c
bottles by all leading druggists.
Any reliable druggist who may not
have it on hand will procure it
promptly for any one who wishes
to try it. Manufactured only by the
CALIFORNIA Fig SYRUP CO.,
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. a..
LOUISVILLE, Ky. NEW YORK. N. z
Passaic City record., 1892-12-31
Marketid in sothern France.

Until you a. to an pen air market in
the south of Hrauce yu do not know
what genuineIpleasure can be obtained
from the usual prosaic proceeding. Just
imagine great, beautifl cherries at eight
cents pound strawlsrries about five
cents pound, grapes plums, pears,
peaches, all in the perfection of beauty
and luscious favor, sod on the same
small scale according tc our American
ideas. Green slmondsand flberts, OIL
ives, mushrooms. fresh ish right from
the waters that almost Hoped the edges
of the primitive market for there were
but few booths, almost eerything being
displayed on cloths lais out on the
ground that sloped downto the smiling
seal, radishes aud lettuce ust picked in
the qua 1t old time gardes on the ad-
jacent slopes, and above al and domin-
ating even the baskets of nails with a
breath of summer, were IT, great PAN
niers filed with blossoms those beauty
and fragrance would bring tremendous
prices in this land df ours, where roses
sometimes are worth thes weight in
gold. For twenty cents ne can fill a
carriage with mignonette, yolets, carna-
tions as spicy as they are Wild: Jasmine,
mimosa, heliotropc and greet cream and
pink roses that hang their heads with
the burden of their own Fragrance.
Philadelphia Times.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-31

"Why don't you stop tha. hiccough-
ing?" said gentleman to fiend, who
for some moments had been slbjected to
the annoying convulsive mo'ement of
the diaphragm.
81 wish / could,n. CAPPED tie victim,
ssbut it's no go A fellpw trid to scare
me-said my coat was qn fre-knew it
wasn't-swallowed nine times line swal-
lows Of water--no go-f4e Ikea washed
out hand engine, be CALCULATED angriIy,
having fold his woes ip disjoinh.d utter
ances and between cough.
s.Well, you are chuhp," remarked
the first speaker. .sCome with pc, +" and
be led his friend into an adjoling re-
taurant and ordered hesping tpoonfu'
Of powdered sugar.
s.Come, " be said, s.swallow dis all al
once" The victim did SO, slowly, and
found to his intense surprise AMI relic
when the operation was cdmpleted tha
the hiccoughs had vanished.
ssNow," remarked the first gentleman,
ssfor teaching Jon that remsdy IA tai'
just one cigar with you. It is not par
of the process, but it's worth the price
isn't it2 As for the sugar / have neve
known it to fail to cure even the mos
stubborn case Of hiccoughs. New Yorl
Herald.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-31

Writing from ST. Petersburg, our cor
respondent says: A curious case comes
up for trial in Court of Second In
stance next week, the details of which
are instructive. The plaintiff. an lady
took strong fancy to tiny lap-dog a
few months ago, which she declared was
the prettiest and funniest little creature
she had ever set her eyes upon. The
dealer, however, dampened her enthus-
Ism by asking an exorbitant price for
the animal. whose nimbIeness and vivac.
ity were certainly marvellous. A day or
two later the lady called again, deter
mined to pay the extravagant price, but
like the Roman king, when bidding for
the books of the Sybil, her offer was
refused and the price raised. She acted
somewhat different from the pagan
monarch, however, and paying the
money, returned home with the coveted
prize.
All her friends admired her new &C
QUESTION, but both she and they agreed
that it was somewhat queer that the
animal should be continually Sinking
away into dark corners, and generally
fighting shy of the light, while she had
no more success in trying to tame it than
if she had tried her hand on jaguar.
The general conduct OF the lap-dog was
highly mysterious, but it was mystery
possessed of certain charm which
rather added to its value than otherwise.
They fed the animal with the best Of
everything, and, one day, after it had
partaken of a hearty meal, its mistress
thought she heard an explosion. Look.
ing round, she missed her lap-dog, but
in its place beheld an enormous rat
standing on the dogs skin, in which it
had been cunningly sewed up by the
dishonest dealer. The case will now b.
heard by Court of Second Instance il
connection With the question of tn
amount of damages claimed BY the plain
tiff. The dealer alleges that be was de
ceived himself, having purchased it TO
lapdog. London Telegraph.
Passaic City record., 1892-12-31

It does not seem to be generally known
that the turkey was domesticated by the
Indians long before the discovery of this
continent by white men, but such is the
case. Hundreds Of large, tame hens
Of black and mottled hues" are mem
toned as being seen by the earliest voy-
ayers to Mexico. Oveido speaks of the
turkey as 'skind of peacock abounding
IN New Spaine, the male of which hath
a beard likened unto that of man, and
which is to the people of that country
what the barne.yarde fowle is to US. T"
Turkeys were introduced into the West
Indies in 1925 and into Spain the fol-
lowing year. They were first imported
by the English in the year 1541, twenty
three years after the discovery of Mexico.
William Penn says: 1.-THE turkeys of
these parts are frequently so immoder-
ateIy fat and large that the flesh Of one
will furnish meat for twenty, their
weight often being about forty pounds,
have even seen one that weighed six
pounds more" Wood, 10 his "Nev
England Prospect. says: "All the yeare
long the price of a good turkie cooke is
foure shillings; and he is well worth it.
for he may be in weight forty pounds. s
Josselyn, in his "Rarieties," says, ~
have heard several credible persons
affirm that they have seen turkie-cocks
that have weighed forty, yea, sixty
pounds" In modern times turkeys are
rarely found that weigh more than
/ t.,o,tu M r,o,,ndo. excanfians tn this
Passaic City record., 1892-12-31
lodging The Road.

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