The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-01-20
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

sOhs OI Eth, walking the streets Ol
London together, passed the gibbet OF
Newgate prison. Looking mp at the
grim instrument Of death, ono of them
remarked: "Ah, Mick, and where
would you be if yonder gallows had its
dues 7? ats walkin London alone,
Id be, Finnegan, me BY" responded
lrishman number two.
Equine Shortcomings: A bottle Of
champagne wasO ercd 10 horse deal
er on condition that he would reveal
the failings of a goOd-loOking horse he
had sold that morning. The bottle
was drunk, and the jockey then said:
| That horse, gentlemen, has but two
faults in the world When loose in the
pasture he is the devil to catch, and he
is Of mighty little use after he is
caught.
Lady Ito applicant for cook s place.
DO you ever drink anything, Bridget? ?
Bridget (cordially)-Nance in whole,
mum; glass o. warrum gin wild bit
o lemin an two Jumps o sugar, If We
plaze, an thank ye kindly, mum.
Tommy's Experiment: Tommy Ia
boy If an inquiring turn Of mind)-I
Nav, who do people call Bette a boun-
cling baby? | dropped her on the floor
this morning and she didn't bounce a
bit
Christmas Gifts In Prospect: Rev.
MIR. Thumper-Anything Of interest in
the paper this morning. Jane? Mrs.
Thumper-Smith, Jones 4 Co., will sell
slippers at half pnce, during the next
two weeks. Mr.. Thumper (despond-
ently)-I am very sorry to hear it.
In the Land of Razor-Backs: Little
Bette lives in a part of the south
where the lean "razor-back" is the pre-
yailing type Of swine One morning
seeing hog rubbing his lank sides a.
gainst a post, Bette called out: Oh, |
mother. here is another Pig sharpening
himself
The Maiden's Flight: Miss Bank
stock (rather elderly, to druggists boy) |
How provoking! I've actually for |
gotten what | came for. Roy full oil
businessl-Hair dye? rouge? lotion to |
remove freckles wrinkle eradicator /? |
bottleof Elixir Of Youth? Miss Bank |
stock halls passing street carr.
The Genuine Article: Dumley !
(wrestling with the carcass Of a fowl)-i
Did | understand You to say, Mrs. |
Slimfecd. that this is a canvass-back
duck? Mrs Slimfccd-Yes: why do /
you ask ? Dumley | was going to re-
mark that there's nothing shodiy about
the material.
Scribbler (to fiicnd'-Frel. have you
read my last article IN the lHEhg
n'GShU HoHtbig? Fred with enthu.
siasm,-Yes, indeed; read it twice.
Scribbler flushing with pleasure All.
you must have found the subject inter-
esting Fred-Well er no: 1t wasn't
exactly that; but Sunth bet me ten
dollars to five that | couldn't 20 through
II twice.
Employer-Patrick, | hear you we're
drunk again yesterday. Pat-It's too
thrue sor; / got down m the gutther
along wild a pig Father Ryan looked
at me layin there as he wint BY, and he
says, says he: Zone is known by the
company he kapes." Employer-And
did you get up then, Patrick? Pat No.
faith, / was too dhrunk; but the pig
did.
Mr.. Jones Unbends Jones (cross-
ly)-A1aria, for Heavens sake throw
away that gum. When a man is try
ing to read it distracts HIM to hear his t,
wife making that noise. Mrs. Jones
I'm eating pinders, if you please, Mr..
Jones. Mr.. Jones (after moments
silence, meekly)-Are they roasted,
Maria?
Rank Injustice: Dumley-IIow ma +,
icious that fellow Robinson isl | hear :
hat he alluded TO me yesterday as an !
I'D fool. Brown (warmly) That is !
yery unjust in Robinson. An old fool !,
Why, you can't be over forty at the out /
ide. Ii
An old gentleman, overhearing angry r
words from a group OF youngsters, said b
,enignantly: "Don't speak 50 harshly, Q
ny boys; you should be klnd to each Il
,ther and never lose your temper" r
lust then little fellow rushed around
he corner, accidentally humping a. C
,ainst the kind old gentleman and b
knocking off his spectacles. Whereup-
N the kind old gentleman exclaimed c
vrathfully: "You blamed little scoun- I
Irel! I've a great mind to turn you o
,ver to the policeman yonder for your n
onfounded carelessness." &
Equal to the Occasion: Miss Alice, /.
t an evening party at her home, was
itting with handsome admirer in
arge bay window. Being screened by :
curtain, the young lady, for proprie- :
VS. sake, sat with her three-year-old :
liece in her lap Suddenly the crowd
d room was startled by the child's !
Ioice. piping out kiss me too, aunt :
Aiieew But the young lady Nas equal !
o the emergency. She relieved the !
"a - -. - X