The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1892-06-26

street can pour into 1.-THE is discovered
every time. She whose genius had made
every room in the house a storage ware
house for night air. comes In and wonder
where all these flies came FRONT" He.
with extravaganza R~esticulation. doesn't
least he says he doesn't. and
doesn't care. which is true: what he wants
to know Is when they arc going back againf
HUMOR or THE DAY.
Concentrated Wisdom.
Brooklyn Life.
"Who is it that possesses all knowledgef"
asked the Sunday-school teacher.
My brother James" replied adiminutive
pupil. Hes just home from college,"
Not Appreciative.
New YORK Weekly.
Yonng Mother (proudlylEEverybod
saws the baby looks like me.
Bachelor Brother (amaZedl-The spiteful
things don't say that to your face do theyf
Improving.
Uncle John-Have you learned to ride
your new bicycle yeti
Pve got SO ! can fall off without gettin'
killed.
Fractions.
M~amma-Bessie, how many sisters has
your new playmatei
Bessie-He has one. in He tried to
fool me by saying that he had two half
sisters; but / guess he didn't know that I
studied fractions.
Mind Como
Kate Fieds Paper.
V..s~ Tho& T. -
ing man: isn't his insanity doubtful,
Asylum Attendant-Oh. no; nis case ID
hopeless. His hobby is a patent thermome-
ter that will agree with the government
weather forecasts.
An Infant Industry.
New York World.
De Writer-What are You doing nowf
Scribbler-Writing SO. 000 prize stories
for the Great North American Literary
Syndicate.
.What do they pay youi"
Ten dollars o week"
Put the Foe to Flight
Mother-Tbe grocer sends word that he
rave you An extra dozen of eggs by mis-
take. Where are theyf
Small Boy-I seed | had adozen to spare,
so | threw 'em at some boys wot was kid.
din me. You oughter seen 'em scoot.
Couldn't Stand It
Good News
First Boy-Ain't You goin' swimmini
First BoySYou said You was. Why done
youf
Second Boy-Mother said if 1 went in
swimmin' PC have to q X some soap along
and wash.
Still Young.
New York Weekly.
Mamma-what lid You do with tina UNI
brella | bought youf
Small Son-I lent it to a little boy.
Hum! Do you think he will bring 10
backi"
"0h, yes,m. He isn't old enough to know
enough to keep It"
OVERRIDING IL.
New York Weekly.
He las the curtain falls)-My dear, 1 be-
Iieve i will 60 into the lobby TO stretch my
legs
She You've been to the lobby three times
when you came back they seemed real
weak. ] am afraid you are stretching them
too much.
Very Natural Conclusion.
Judge.
O'Reilly being entertained by the cook,
who produces q bottle of olivesI-You'l
cxchuse me. Norah, but it's me privit apin-
yum that these plnms Is shpoiled.
.Norah-Shnre. thin Is not piums; thin is
alives. and they kim from Shpain.
ORellly-Be hivlns. thin they must have
kim in the shteersge!
Couidn't Stand Ii,
New York Weekly.
Favored Waiter-lm Goin' to leave here
Regular Guest-Ehi You get good pay.
don't youf
Yes. bout the same's everywhere"
And tips besidesi"
"a good many"
Then what Is the matterp
They don't allow no time fer 60: n ont
to meals. L have to eat here"
Small Boy-Did you see q little boy bout
my size around the cornerf
Old Gentleman-Yes; believe / old.
Did he look uglyf"
u didn't notice."
did he look scsredi"
II dom know. Why"
why. l heard he was around there, and
! dom know whether be wants to lick me,
or whether he's hidin' from me. Wish /
did"
Juvenile Logic.
Good News.
Little Girl-Why mayn't / 90 tolthe thea
tcI Will Oul
Mamma-Because it is q Shakspearean
tragedy and you couldn't understand it.
Isn't 1t in EDglishf"
YES; but you couldn't understand wha
they were talking about. You don't know
enough"
well. / don't know 'nourh to un'erstand
wat tn preacher 10 talkin' bout either, but
you makes me 60 to church."
fer Exact Words.
New York Weekly.
Housekeeper-How's thlsf You promised
to saw some wood If / gave you a lunch.
recall no such promise, madam.
1.-The ideal / told you I'd give you q
lunch if you'd saw some wood. and you
agreed"
Pardon me. madam. Your exact words
were: PHI give You a lunch if you saw that
wood over there by the gate.'"
Exactly. That's inst what / ssid.n
"Well, madam, i saw that wood over
there by the gate as l came in"
A Quaker City Lady"
Philadelphia Record.
A somewhat remarkable incident oc-
Cured on car No. So of the Germantown
branch of the Peoples Passenger railway
one afternoon last week. The car was
stopped AT Upsal street by o woman Of
slightly under middle age, who bore evenv
ont ard appearance of being a lady, and, ia
fact. was particularly we'll dressed and re-