davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
YOUR SIGNATURE.
Women Should BE Careful as to Where
and How They Write.

Women Should BE Careful as to Where
and How They Write.
Business people, and especially wom-
en-, are too careless in this matter of
signatures. l never notice any one
singing name to document that do
not think of poor Rip Van Wrinkle.
There was some sort of an agreement
for him to sign. 1t was read to him
half dozen times very slowly, Rip
asking many questions as to the valid
ity of such and such thing. At last,
he concluded he was ready. He dipped
the quill pen in the ink with sort of a
sledge-hammer movement, put his nose
down close to the paper, and, with one
hand under the table, to steady it, as
he said, and one heel in the air. the job
was accomplished. He drew a sigh of
relief, and an expression of intense
satisfaction settled on his face. Some
one ventured to say that he had made
much ado over a very little matter.
"Ah," said he, rip is powerful 'ticbu-
lar what he puts his cross-marls to-"
| Would that his example was more gen.
orally followed People are constantly
getting themselves into trouble just on
account of carelessness in this respect
/ know of farmer who had hundred
shutters shipped to him. "a shutter
is a machine for cleaning wheat. }
When the notice was sent to. him that
the machines were at the freight office,
he could not believe his own eyes. He
remembered that few weeks before,
he had signed, as he believed, recon-
mendation for the machine, but the
tricky agent made of it an order in
stead A lawsuit resulted, but the
farmer lost his case-for there was his
name, "in black and white" signed to
a very clearly defined order for one
| hundred machines. The laws, at that
time, were not so strict against cheat
ing and swindling as they are now;
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
CHINESE INSULTS.
Funny Methods of "Getting Even" With
Foreigners.

Funny Methods of "Getting Even" With
Foreigners.
1t is as possible to silt the thin
spun life" with stilletto as with
broadsword, and in the most finished
periods Chinaman finds himself quite
able to express either whitening con-
tempt or lemorseless hate But he has
other ways of giving vent to his i'll hui
mors. The very punctilious rules OF
letter-writing enable him to convey his
dislike by omission as we'll as by com
mission. Chinese is, it may be explain
ed, written in vertical columns. begin
ming on the top right-hand corner of
the page. In ordinary circumstances
each column is completed tothe bottom
of the page; but long usage has estab-
lished the custom that if the name or
attributes of the person addressed oc-
ours, the column is cut short, and the
characters representing these subjects
of honor begin the next column at an
elevation of one or two characters, as
the case may be, above the general lev
ell of the text. The expressions, for ex-
ample, Your honorable country"
my benevolent elder brother" and
Others, are entitled to stand prominent
ly out at the head of the columns-a
position which gives them the same
kind of distinction which capital letters
confer among ourselves.
1t will now be seen what a ready
1iac 10 thA hand Nf Chinasa
letter writer. To write Your Excel
lency" or the name of the correspon-
dents CT untry or sovereign in the body
of the column is to infiict dire insult
upon him, and is equivalent to the
expression of the bitterest contempt in
European epistolary style. Occasion
ally infringements of this kind are
made by mistake, ard it not unfre-
quently happens that condign punish
ment overtalhes careless or ignorant Of
ficials who forget its application to the
times of the imperial family. Not long
since an imperial censor presented a
memorial to the throne in which the
proper elevation was not given to the
dowager empress. Tho result was
| doubly disastrous to tae writer. Not
only was the prayer of his memorial
rejected, but he was handed over to the
board of punishments to suffer the con
sequence of his error. On foreigner.
Cinnamon used to delight, and still dc
to certain extent, in heaping up this
and other insults, trusting to the igno
rance of their correspondents in the
forms and diction of the language. -
Saturday Review.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE USUAL treatment Of catarch is very
unsatis factory, as thousands of dcspairing
patients can testify On this point trust
worthy writer says: "Proper local treat
ment is positively necessary TO success, but
many, if not most, of the remedies in gen.
eral use by physicians afford but temporary
benefit A cure certainly cannot be expect
ed from snuffs, powders, douchcs aud
washes" Elys Cream Balm, which is so.
highly commended by physicians and drug
gists, is a remedy which combines the i'm.
portant requisites of quick action, specific
curative power with perfect safety and
pIeasantness 10 the patient.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
An Improvement.

A dressmaker who has a record of
women's measures for the last forty
years, says that women are larger and
correspondingly healthier than they
used to be. Thirty years ago the aver.
age waist was only twenty inches, and
sometimes not over fifteen. Girls of
twenty or twenty two will now aver
age waists of twenty-three inches at
least. If they are five feet seven or
eight inches tall they will have twenty.
five or twenty-six inch waists. Physical
exercise has been wholesome fashion.
Old Homestead.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
HOw's This!

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case. Of Catarrh that can not be
cured by Halls Catarrh Cure
f. j. CHENEY a. Co., Props, Toledo, o.
We the undersigned, have known F. J..
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by their firm.
West Il Truax, Wholesale Druggists, To-
ledo, o., Walding, Kinnan IL Marvin,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Price 75c. per bot
tie. Sold by all druggista Testimonials free.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

Blindfolded Medium with pistoD-
"You started from the bank an hour ago
with pile of ten and twenty dollar
bills, which you have at the present
moment in the inside pocket of your
waistcoat; you have also two rolls of
gold coin in your trousers pocket. VIII
you kindly throw up your hands for a
few moments whilst | convince myself
whether am right or wrong in my sur
mises?" He was right. Brooklyn Life.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
A Worthy Object.

During the annual exhibition of sew
ing machines and cycles at the Roya,
Aquarium, London, in March and April
next, Mr.. McWilliams will bring for
ward his scheme for the establishment
of sewing machine work rooms in poor
districts throughout the kingdom,
whereby needy and Industrious women
will be enabled to have the daily use
of machine, and arrangements are be-
ing made for the supply of work from
Wholesale houses.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
August.
Flower"

My wife suffered with indigestion
and dyspepsia for years. Life be-
came a burden to her. Physicians
failed to give relief. After reading
one of your books, purchased q
bottle of August Flower. 1t worked
like a charm. My wife received i'm
mediate relief after taking the first
dose. She was completely cured
now weighs I65 pounds, and can eat
anything she desires without any
deleterious results as was formerly
the case. c. H. Dear, Prop'r Wash
ington House, Washington, Va. Q
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

Beauty often depends on
plumpness; so does comfort;
so does health. If you get
thin, there is something
wrong, though you may feel
no sign of it.
Thinness itself is a sign;
sometimes the first sign (;
sometimes not.
The way to get back
plumpness is by CAREFUL,
LIVING, which sometimes IN
cludes the use of SCOTS
Emulsion of cod-liver oil.
Let us send you-free-a
little book which throws much
light on all these subjects.
ScoTr BowsH. Chemists. r,a South 9Th Avenue,
New York.
Your druggist keeps Scott's Emulsion of cod.liver
ol-al druggists everywhere do. 81.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
The Only One Ever Printed-Can You Find
the Word?

in this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true Of each new one appearing each week,
from The DR. Harter Medicine Co This
house places a Crescent on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful Autographs or
samples free.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
To Fit as Occasion Requires.

Mrs. Whalen-Hov yez emmy short
pants fer Dyes?
Mr.. Silverstein-I hate not. hafe
long bants for MEMS Buy bair for
your husban', wash 'em vonce; und dey
will fit der chile. hate sold bants dot
hate vent drue whole cheneration like
dot. De longer you wash EN- de smaller
dey gits.-Judge. -.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Below the Lowest Depths.

TITS sad how deep into oblivion go
Some books we thought would shine on every
Shelf
To-day, while looking through my works, l
found
Two that wrote, and then forgot, myself.
p Macarthur in Puck
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Not Far Out of the Way.

"Your husband is writing his men,
oirs, is he not?" inquired the visitor.
"Yes," assented the venerable pro-
fessor's young wife, with an engaging
shipper. Hes at work on his--on his
autopsy think he calls it."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Pure and wholesome Quality

Commends to public approval the California
LIQUID laxative remedy, Syrup OF Figs, IL
is pleasant to the taste and by acting gently
the system efIectually, it promotes the
health and comfort of all who use 1t, and
with millions it is the best and only remedy.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Severe Punishment.

First Boy-Do they whip at YOU
school?
Second Boy-No; | wish they did.
First Boy-What do they do?
Second Boy-Keep you in at recess
Good News.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
A Cold Reception.

Cobble - Billy Bender thought he
would be funny, so he went to the un-
dertakers' hop logged out in a shroud.
Stone-Ilow was he treated?
Cobble-Oh, they laid him out.-Clo-
thier and Furnisher.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Intelligent Alms.G Giving.

Mendicant-Dear lady, am paralyzed
on one side and starving. know by
your sweet face you will help poor old
Bible-reader. Won't you?
Lady (handing him money)-Here,
my poor friend go and get your beer
Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
The Place for Conversation,

"My dear" said Mrs. Chatterly to
Mrs. Chitterly; 81 have so much to tell
you, but can't stay now"
"Then go with us to the opera to-
morrow night" suggested Mrs .Chitter-
ly.-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
From the German.

Absent-Minded Professor - How do
you do, Miss Schimmelpfenig?
Miss 81 am very well, thank you.
But why are you in mourning?"
Don't you know, professor, that my
father died last week?"
"You don't tell me so! When you go
home tell your father that am very
sorry to hear of his affection"
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Explained by Heredity.

She-Do you know what it is to have
a soul at war with itself?
He-Don't l, though? My father was
an Irishman and my mother an Italian,
you know.-Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
At Niagara,

Don't you just love the grace of
nature, Mr.. Dart?"
"Grace of nature? Pshawl Look at
her now-how she falls all over her.
selfI"-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Sarcastic.

Miss Walling - Mr.. Sharpe, the
shrewdest Spectator on Wall street,
told me tonight tina, had the finest
complexion he had ever seen.
Miss Elderly-Well, Mr.. Sharpe has
the reputation of being a very far
sighted man.-Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
The Place to Look.

Visitor-You have a wonderful collec-
ton of curious coins. How did you get
them?
Parson (dryly)-Found them in the
plate.--Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Misleading Directions.

Col. Blugrass-How shall reach the
river, sab?
Yank-Jest follow your nose straight
ahead.
Col. Blugrass-Sah! Does my nose
look like nose, sab, that would lead
me to watah sah?-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
The Church Fair.

SIS it safe to attend one of these
bazars with only a fve-dollar bill in
your pocket?"
"Well, you have to take chances, of
course "-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

WHAT is the difference between birds ola
feather and women who wear high hats9
The first flock together, the latter are scat
tered all over tine theater Boston Journal
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

Mr.. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. if they are
made of coal, and coal goes up to what
it was last year, I'll shove my wife's
jewelry and dresses into the stove and
save enough money to pay for my liquor
and cigars Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

Mr. C. C. CAMPBELL, of Campbells Cot
ton Compress Co., city of Cincinnati, Ohio,
writes Everybody finds relief shortly
after using BradycrotiIe for headache"
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

CHEyK Colds and Bronchitis with Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

For external use only-frousers. To be
taken in water-A bath. Shake before
using-A dusty coat A spoonful-A
drunken lover
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

CoUGHs AND HoARsENEss.- irritation
which induces coughing Immediately re-
lieved by use Of Bro,On'S Bronchial Troches."
Sold only in boxes.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THREE scruples make drachm, but most
OF the boys take the dram first and let the
scruples come IN at the second table. Texas
Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

BEEcHAM's PILLS cure sick headache,
disordered liver and act like magic on the
vital organs For sale by all druggists.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

IT is always proper to call upon the super
intendent of streets to "uend his ways
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

PEorLe who never think of anybody bus
themselves are always little, no matter how
big they feeL-Ram's Horn.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

The old man in his second childhood Is
rarely as ridiculous as the young. father IN
his first babyhood indianapolis Journal
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

ANunpledged legislator may have "a head
of his own" but other men are making DIES.
perate efforts to get his ear.-Columbus
Post
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
A POst-Graduate.

He-What modest, lovely creature
she must bel See how she bushes on
the slightest provocation. How fasci-
mating!
She-And yet some parents don't be-
lieve in our young women's institute of
physical culture.-Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

MARRYING for wealth is gambling In
boarding house futures. -Binghamtoa Re
publican.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

NECESSITY knows no law and is generally
too poor to hire lawyer Picayune.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

"PM afwaid the gov'neh's mind is falling"
said Chappie "Awsked me this mawning
If knew how to speak the English language.
Fawncy l'-Indiapapols Journal.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

EVERY misery old bachelor in the coun-
try ought to be fined for contempt of court.
Oil City Blizzard
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

WHEN a. woman puts on an apron she
knows what it is to have that tired feeling.
Boston Transcript.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THAT'S put-up job" said the merchant
rs he saw the sheriff posting a sale notice
ON his place.-Philadelphi Record.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE beggar is generally an open-h handed
fellow.-Binghamto Leader.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

SOME one says the age of political party
may be told by its rings.-TeXae Siftings
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

RUNNING expenses are those which 20
pay as you 60.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THERE'S often true poetic fire in an edit
or's stove.-Columbus Post.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

WHY is a bad sinner IKE good cabbage1
Because he has hard heart
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

A TUMBLE DOWN affair "a wrestlin
match.-Texas Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

IT may have been observed that coasting
as an amusement has its drawbacks-ln-
dianapolis News.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02
Black Diamonds.

Mr.. Worldlywise-I wonder if these
jet ornaments and passementerie on
ladies' cloaks and wraps are not made
from coal.
Mill yu1
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE deaf and dumb man gets no credit TO
having never told lie.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE bald-headed man is generally admit
ted to be very clear-headed Galveston
News.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE fellow who is always in deep water is
usually shallow himself.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

81 AM at your service, ma'am," said the
burglar when the lady of the house caught
him stealing the silverware.-Texas Slft-
ings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

Two OF the hardest things to keep in thii
life are new diary and sharp ad-pencil
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THERE is this similarity between janitor
and burglar. They should both know
what it is to make clean halL-St Joseph
News
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1892-03-02

THE fellow who is always, in deep water is
usually shallow himself.
SOME one says the age of political party
may be told by its rings.-TeXae SiftingS
THERE'S often true poetic fire in an edit
ors stove.-Columbus Post
EVERY miserly old bachelor in the coun-
try ought to be fined for contempt of court.
oil City Blizzard.
"THAT's put-up job" said the merchant
rs he saw the sheriff posting a sale notice
on his place.-Philadelphia Record
WHEN a woman puts on an apron she
knows what it is to have that tired feeling.
Boston Transcript,
ANunpledged legislator may have "a head
of his own but other men are making DIES.
perate efforts to get his ear.-Columbus
Fost
pay as you 60.
A TUMBLE DOWN affair "a wrestling
match.-Texas Siftings.
THE deaf and dumb man gets no credit for
having never told lie
Two OF the hardest things to keep in this
life are new diary and sharp lead-pencil.
THE bald-headed man is generally admit
ted to be very clear-headed. Galveston
News.
IT may have been observed that coasting
as an amusement has its drawbacks
dianapolis News.
81 AM at your service, ma'am," said the
burglar when the lady of the house caught
him stealing the silverware.-Texas Slft-
ings.
THERE is this similarity between a janitor
and burglar. They should both know
what it is to make clean halL-St Joseph
News
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-18
dMhis Badly Eag1e Eraan oruuu, gouember g, 1882

also; this bodice was cut on perfectly
straight, from shoulder to shoulder.
back and front, but not very low, and
had short bell-pu6ed sleeves. The yell
low belt, which was simply ribbon
knotted and hanging In streaaners In
front, was covered At the knot By more
roses.
Then 1 looked 1t materials-such
beautiful ones they were First Of al
was the new. one from Paris. called
ondine. Though it has quite . different
name. in appearance it is considerably
like bengaline. 1t has wavy, heavy
satin thread running through it, like .
cord hattened out. Then. Of course.
there is always brocade, beautiful. fas-
cinating brocade, with It's delicate
gold embroidery and exquisite design
and coloring. / saw some combine
tons, too. of q single-colored silk or bro
cade combined with satin stripe that
had small flower or leaf patterns in it
One was particularly beautiful dull
blue brocade with largo ivy leaves
closely wrought all over. The beauty
lay more in the thickness and luster Of
the silk, I fancy, than in anything
else. but / stood quite overawed be-
fore It.
/ saw q brocade dinner gown. too,
that impressed me wonderfully. II was
a green. and fine gold thread outlined
the palm leaf design in it 1t was cut
princess and had lace front that was
gathered closely together at the top of
the decollete bodice, but spread out
wider and wider as it fell over . rose
colored satin front. Velvet sleeve puffs
the shade of the gold in the brocade
were caught around above the elbow by
pearl embroidered passementerie. and
three strings Of pearls adorned the bod
ices front. caught up in the center by .
gold clasp. The dress was most lovely.
Passementeries form . moro impor-
tant factor in gowns than ever before.
They grow richer and more expensive
daily. One may spend . small-sized for
tune in passementerie for one gown If
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-11-18

reputauons II Tew hours. Tne table
no more than seven dollars when 1t was
new, while my head is worth twice
that sum per week to anybody who
runs newspaper. Yet no married
man will be in doubt as to which of us
Maude wept over. But by promising
that would not purposely do it again.
1 obtained comparative peace, and we
proceeded with our work.
l put up the brackets where Maude
told me to. and then put them in anoth-
er place at her request and was blamed
because couldn't pull out the screw
holes and shift them to where they
wouldn't show. Then standing Upon
the table l held an end of the curtain
up to the pole and Maude turned her
critical eye upon it.
How" she asked, severely, ''can
see anything when you're standing
right in front of it?"
How inquired, with equal sever
ity, "can / hold up thiscurtain with
out being PRESENT."
''If you were further this way" she
said, Selling the table. But did not
go that way. The table went. went
the other way, and put one foot down
through the top of an expensive uphol-
stored chair. And yet, after we had
argued over this event for q. few min
utes, it was substantially decided that
j was the only fool in the family.
The next regular business before the
meeting was the fastening of the cur
tain to the rings upon the pole. This
was done by means Of a continuance
like a safety pin, SO called because
when a man fastens it you can bet with
perfect safety that it will not stay.
Also. it is eleven to one that he sticks 1t
into his fingers. The use OF these pins
led to some words, but, as they are not
in the dictionary, will omit them here.
And, by the way, as to this matter OF
swearing, I should explain that I use
only the down east method. The true
Yankee is far too shrewd to swear by
anything that may get him into trouble
hereafter. No, indeed; he selects that
neighbor who has the most ornamental
and expressive name and swears by
him. This method is quite harmless,
but very grateful to the feelings in
times of trial. On really serious occa-
sions 1 generally call upon maiden
who lived in Constitution, Me-, about
twenty years ago. Her front name was
Mehitabel and the other one was Moses.
can strongly recommend this name to
persons of violent disposition. 1t has