davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
HUMOROUS.

"A dollar will buy four times al
much for grateful man as it will TO,
stingy one.-Ram's Horn.
Now" said the new reporter, AZ
his eye followed the track of the blue
pencil. II understand what is meant
by an editors line of thong ht."-
Washington Star.
-"Binks is the brightest man !
know" Does he say sharp things7''
mo; but You ought to hear him keep
still when he has chance to say them?''
-Elmira Gazette.
Now you might reform me-" said
the topper, ''f you would only enter nv
heart by the right key" "What key?
What key?" was the eager inquiry.
whisky. "-Pharmaceutical Era.
"A Leap Year Conversation.
Gasket-"Why don't you marry, Miss
Keedick?" Miss Keedick-"Well, Mrs.
Gasket, the fact is, l can't find hus-
band who can cook well. Detroit
Free Press.
-"Spangle declined absolutely the
nomination for the presidency.
"Why?" HE said he had started in
life as a messenger boy, and became
confirmed in habits then formed. He
can't run" boston Post.
$50 this new law firm has dis
solved partnership? What was the
trouble?" Mr.. Smallfee- "They thought
the firm name was killing the practice"
"What was it?' Mr.. Smallfee-"Doo.
little & Dye.
Her Legal Right Little Sadie-"o.
Uncle Harry. Miss Brown and Mr..
Swift are in the parlor, and she has her
head on his shoulder" Uncle Harry
That's all right She has a lien on
him Kate Fields Washington.
-Witherby-"Now that your wife
has gone away for the summer, old
man, would like to have you join us
in little poker game" Plankington-
Thanks, old fellow, but I'll have to
wait few weeks yet" Witherby-
what for?' Plankington-"Tve got
a few dressmaker's bills to pay."-C Cloak.
Review.
Landlord Of Seaside Hotel-"Where
are all the young ladies this morning?"
Head Wsiter-"They are out ON the
water killing shark" L.-"KillinQ
shark? That's q curious pastime for
young ladies'" h. W.-sTts q man.
eating shark, you know, and they're
afraid he'll get hold Of the only man
that's here."-N. Y. Press.
Madam, am not q book agent:
neither do ] peddle pins, needles, table
linen, ETC., but If you will kindly open
the door viii show you an article that |
viii do more toward making woman
The equal Of man than anything else in |
the world. !" Wife-"What is it? Quick!n |
Peddler-s'Dear lady, it is . pencil |
'harpener, and only i've cents Inter
Ocean.
As an eminent physician remarked,
when stump-orator was describing the |
condition of two geraniums, one OF |
which was watered in the ordinary way,
md advertised its virtuous principles BY |
IN exuberant freshness of blossom and |
eat, while the second became IN invol. |
lntary topper, and had been dosed with |
llcohol into premature decay: Eyes, II !
were a geranium, should prefer |
saess. Bat thsa ] on not geranipx.s
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08


the conversation, not q word of which
he could understand, and In spite of his
passion he dreaded some perfdy on the
part of the smiling Blackfoot maiden.
He clutched his gun to his breast and
lay still.
Oar knsss came on and al slept-thc
adventurous Sioux far from soundly,
owing to anxiety and his cramped posi-
ton. At daybrcak the young hunter
arose, ssddlcd his pony and went out
after deer. having agreed with his sis
ter to return very early, and, il pos
siole. to surprise the stranger In their
lodge. Accordingly, she released her
lover Is soon - she could and rave
him an abundant breakfast, after
which they sat talking for long while.
- they had great deal to say to each
other.
Suddenly the shadow Of the Black
loot darkened the doorway. The in
truder did not betray his surprise bv
the slightest start, and the two young
men cordially greeted one another and
entered into conversation by means of
signs When tho young Sioux presently
his desire to make the maid
en his wife and his intention of return
Ing with them to the tribe ON the NOR
row. there was silence.
Friend" finally exolaimed the
'yeu VIZ sxSoas yourself |
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
CUNNING ron RED HEADS.

HI Passion fer Popping 1t zhsm strens
Even In Death.
We heard . shot fired across the street,
followed by rush Of men along the
board walks, and went over to ind 4
man lying on the floor Of saloon With
the blood pouring ont Of bullet hole
In his side. The bartender stood be-
hind the bar with smoking pistol in
his hand, and he was the coolest ons in
the whole crowd.
Jim, how did this happen?' demand
ed the town marshal, who was on hand
with the two deputies.
ssThe usual way--just the usual way,
Tom" was the bland reply. "Yoa'vs
known me for two years, and you know
l never take advantage Of anybody.
That's 30. You've always played
fair. wonder who he is?''
Dunno. He was in here yesterday
for the first time"
Tho marshal went over TO the man,
propped his head up on an overturned
chair, and examined tho wound. The
strangers eyes were open and full of
intelligence, and as he looked around on
the crowd faint smile passed over his
face. He was typical border man
rough in dress and ugly Of visage.
whats your name, stranger" asked
the marshal.
pete Smith"
''Where from?"
Nevada"
"How about this shooting?~
The man chuckled and smiled a. he
glanced over at the bartender Then
he quietly said:
Look at his ha'r-the color of il!
I've been huntin that color fur the last
two years. He'd made my tenthi"
The bar-tender's hair was red.
II heard about him hundred miles
away" resumed the stranger, land 1
cum here to wipe him out. Hain't
nothin' agin him except his hair"
Ten you meant to kill him?' asked
the marshal.
''Sartin. I'm down on that sort O
ha'r. I wanted to give him q show,
though, and so / whooped when II
started to draw. Gun got tangled and
he got the drop on me. He plugged
me plumb center and I'm conner"
docs he talk straight?" asked the
officer Of the man behind the bar.
Eyes fdidn't know that he object
ed to the color of my hair, but when he
whooped I grabbed my gun and drop
ped him."
do you know that You are dying?"
asked the marshal, a. he turned to the
stranger again.
''Sure. but rye told you AL you'll
ever know. Just plant me outside and
make no fuss"
whats this7' said the ofi Ger As he |
moved the mans body 20 as to uncover
his right hand. which grasped hia |
shooter.
''I-l didn't get it out in time for the |
and 30 l was layin' low for |
else. Is there q red-hsaded |
man in the crowd?'
'.No," said the marshal, as he looked |
around.
IF thar YVES Td-Td try . pop at
himl just my luck; take the gunl /
wanted to make the number ten, but
I've run up agin barbed-wire fencer"
At that moment q doctor who had
been sent for came hustling in. He
was a red-headed man. He knelt to ex-
anime the wounded man, but the latter
waved him of, sat up, and hoarsely
"This crowd has played me low downi|
You took my gun away and then rang
In q red-headed man on mel Whoopll
Whoop!"
He fell back, gave . sort of shiver,
md was dead.-N. Y. Herald.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
German
Syrup

Boschee's German Syrup is more
successful in the treatment Of Con-
sumption than any other remedy
prescribed. It has been tried under
every variety of climate. In the
bleak, bitter North, in damp New
England, in the tickle Middle States,
In the hot, moist South-every-
where. 1t has been in demand by
every nationality. Ithas been em-
ployed in every stage Of Consump-
ton. In brief it has been used
by millions and its the only true and
reliable Consumption Remedy. o
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
THE KINGS DwARFs WE'D.
A Marriage That Took Place with Regal
Splendor.

A Marriage That Took Place with Regal
Splendor.
Little Gibson was at the christening
and saw the small Anne decked out in
great splendor, and. although he was
still rather young to tt:ak of matri-
mony, he fell in love with her then and
there. The affection was returned. and
In due course the king and queen gave
their consent to the marriage of the
two dwarfs.
Great preparations were made for
this wedding, which was cele brated in
the chapel of the palace of st. James,
and every body who was anybody at
all was hidden to the ceremony. Hem
rietta Maria, who, in more senses than
one, was the reigning beauty of the
British court took great interest in the
festivities, and arrayed herself in all
her splendor and loneliness 10 bestow
her blessing on the little pair.
The little bride looked charming in a
white satin dress with . very long
train, while the tiny groom wore :
white satin waistcoat with trimmings
OF satin His hose and breaches were
of white silk. and diamond buckles
sparkled in his tiny shoes. The. dwarfs
were . dainty pair, and created . SEN
sation as they stood before the clergy
man exchanging their vows. king
Charles, very handsome. very graceful,
md looking every inch king, gave
Away the bride. Nicholas.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

AFTER the pickpocket has succeeded In
getting his hand in he takes things easily.
--Binghamton Leader.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

g. z CoBuRx, Mgr. Clarie Scott, writes
II ind Halls Catarrh Cure valuable ron
edy" Druggists sen 1t, 75c.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

To every sufferer from Caxnxrh, no nnatew
how bad the case or Of how loug stand
ing, the propfietou Of DR.. eageb Catarrh
Remedy say this: Il We can't cure II,
perfectly and permanently, wen pay yo1
eco b cashss eold hy @ dSurgi6
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

! WHEN small boys yell scheese its Won
can take IL for granted that something has
2 curd and he wants to get . whey. -PhiIa-
delphia Record.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

HE is truly good who desires always to
bear the inspection OF good men.-Roche-
loucauld
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

WE wouldn't like to be harvest hand.
put what fun 1t must be to have . harvest
hands appetite l-Atchison Globe.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

RIoas-.How long has your wife kept
servantsw Jiggs-''Two weeks, some
times "-Elmira Gazette
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
Gold Bullion

IL attractive, but its hue in the skin and
eyeballs Is repulstve, and indicates bilious
ness, e malady, however, easily remediable
with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. Nauees.
sick headache, pains through the right side
and shoulder blade are manifestations Of
liver complaint, dismissable with the Bit
tiers, which also banishes malarial, rheu-
matte and kidney complaints, nervousness
and constipation.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

IT AM banking on you,. a. the farmer
said as ne proceeded to hill up his potatoes.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

FiRsr CnICAao GlKL-"lGrS. BIumkins Il
. widow, il she notl'' Second Chicago Girl
-"0nly temporarily" Harvard Lam
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

DTsrEPsIA, impaired digestion, weak
stomach, and constipation will be Instantly
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

A 1rcrcLIsT taking header presents 4
combination Of wheel and woe Boston
Transcript.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

ssHAs Mantalins very deep voicsf''
every. Why, when that man sings it
hurts his cornA It'd Bits.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

THERE Is no music so sole inspiring as the
waltx-Elmira Gazette,
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

YOUNG PHARMAcEUTIs-"Are YOU ever
troubled with colicl" His Partner-ssNo.n
What pityi ! haye cure for IL that's
simply out OF sight Fliegende Blsetter.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

We wish we had Is little to do as the can.
ftal X.-Atchison Globe.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

APPLY the rules Of higher criticism to
death.-Ram's Horn.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08
ON TRIAL

ON TRIAL.
That's . good way
to bssV . medicfnA,
but its . pretty
hard condition
undar which to sel1
IT. Perhaps you've
noticed tkat &e o.
binary, hit or miss
medicine doesn't It
tempt It.
The only remedy
~ H. kf0A - ~
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

this plan b DR.. Pierce's Goldsn MEDICAL d.
covefy. A. blood cleanser, streugth re
storec, and desh-builder, thWeb nothing liks Il
Known to medical scie1caL In every dissase
where the fault n IN the liver o. the blood. q
Dyspspsie, indigestion, BiliousnsS and is
affections, Il Is 0,soynntsed in every case TO
benefit or cure, or you have your money back.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

The fellow who marries the s'reipuine
belle" often has . stormy life Columbus
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

BOOKKEEPING taught in one lesson: D.
not lend them.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

The mosquito il . lawyer, and often
pleads all night at the bar-Tennessee
TwinklingA.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

The lawn mower il good deal like the
keeper OF bucket shop-it shaves the
green.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

A BAD man generally hates good dog.
Rams Horn.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

STEALING away from bad company is Jus
tifiable larceny.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

sound basis
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

TEE proper study Of mankind n man.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-10-08

men are apt to worship what they can.
not understand - women for example,
Once Week.
The state herald., 1892-07-08
AFTER PRINCE BISMARCK.
Tho herman Government Threatens to
Prosecute Him for Talking Too Much.

Tho 0ermsn Government Threatens to
Prosecute Him for Talking Too Much.
A Berlin dispatch says; The action Of the
government In abandoning it's attitude OF ro-
serve toward Prince Bismarck, as evidenced
by the threats made In the Official NORTH Ger
man Gdf,'is, has caused most decided scnsa.
iion throughout the empire and further de.
yclopmcn,s arc awaited with great interest.
The language Of Prince Bismarck which
has apparently awakened the government
10 determination TO prosecute him appears
In an Interview published In the W"f Dsri.chs
Ag'msen, Zeitung, the princes new organ In
Cologne. The passages In this interview that
are especially offensive to Emperor William,
charge him, after the failure Of his visit 10 tho
ear at Narva, with asserting to Chancellor
Won Csprivi's greatest error-a prceipitate
breaking Of every link that bound Germany
and Russia.
Ia the course OF the interview Prince Bis
marck said further
when read General Won Caprius speech
ss chancellor saw that had been eatirely
deceived In my estimate Of him, n thing that
seldom happened 10 me. always liked him
until then. thought him firm and sincere
and generally rctieent | never recommend.
ed General Won caprivi to the position Of
chancellor had once spoken to the emper.
or about him as suitable for the position Of
PrussIan prime minister At some future period
TIL. was long before the emperor demanded
point blank that ask 10 be relieved from OF.
Zee, which refused to do, offering n passive
resistance TO the demand. The emperor had
been In secret negotiations with General Won
Caprlvl, meanwhile keeping me away from
Berlin under the pre,e,t Of .paring my health.
bu, really In order to keep me- from, actual
contact with the political situation
The state herald., 1892-07-08

Much interest Is at presen, being manifest
ed In an Invention which has been submitted
To the French Salvage society by ono Baron
d'Alessandro. II consists In covering the
surface Of the sea with a specially prepared
insubmetgible and imputrcscriblr thin net.
ting. This reticulAr fabric does not rise
senslbly above the surface aud does not offer
resistance To the wind, and It plays, II IL
claimed, the part Of bed OF oil In that I, has
the effect Of stilling the waves aud rendering
navigation safer and less difficult
Baron dAles.andro's Idea Ia born Of the
circumstance that sailors have frequently ob.
served the calm produced by the floating see.
weed technically known as Alum, which Ia
met with In various parts Of the North sea
His netting Is said To initiate exactly the
nature and characteristic. Of this marine
plan, Of the Algr class.
Experiments with the new waicr-.tiller
have been conducted outside the brcakwaters
OF the Quibcron peninsula, A netting 900
yards square, with mesh Of five centimc,frl,
aud edged with strong bolt rope, was used
and the results obtained are stated TO have
been 10 satisfactory that the French mln,.'cr
OF marine has appointed special commission
10 Investigate aud report on the invention. -
Gdfigaanfs .Nrssssgsr
The state herald., 1892-07-08
STRONG FOR BlMETALLIsM.
Circular Issusd by British Labor
Unlon.

Circular Issusd by British Labor
Union.
The council Of the United Factory Work.
er' Union, an organization which Is power
iul factor In politics In Lancashire and parts
81 Yorkshire, Cheshire aud Dcrbyshire, has
resolved 70 make international bimetallism
the question In all ,elections, irrespective Of
party lines. The Legislative council has IT,
sued circular addressed 10 all candidates
with view Of putting them on record on the
subject.
The circular sets forth that the question Of
bimetallism is one Of increasing Importance
to all wagc-carncrs aud to the textile workers
and that this fact renders II incumbent upon
the council to urge candidates for Parliament
TO support such measures as shall tend " the
re-estab lishment Of stable par Of exchange
between the moneys OF gold and silvcr-uslng
countries by means Of an international agree
ment for the unrestricted coinage Of the met
ais at q fred ratio.
A hint Is abroad to the effect that the ma.
ture Of the answer to the circular will deter.
mine the votes Of the members Of the union.
As q matter Of fact, the council has ordered
the district secretaries Of the unlon TO urge
the members to vote solldly for bimetallism,
and also TO take all further steps possible to
promote the cause Of himetallIsm.
The Manchester Cowrier editorIally Ap-
piauds the circular and declares its belief that
Conservative candidates will find no difficulty
In giving the required promise to support bi-
metallic measures.
The state herald., 1892-07-08
FIVE BOLD ROBBERS.
They Attempt to Hold Up = Number Of
Hotel Guests.

They Attempt to Hold Up = Number Of
Hotel Guests.
A remarkable and successful robbery was
perpetrated at Magnolia, an Illinois village.
About midnight i've marked and armed men
forced an entrance TO the Magnolia House, In
which were Ave guests. After gagglng and
binding the landlord and his wife and the
hired man, securing their vAluablcs and scar
ing women servants Into silence, thcssrobbers
ayoused the gucs.s, marched then nut 10 line
b he hall and while two dcsperadocs stood
guard over them. the other robbers ran
sacked The rooms, securing u, 100 worth OF
plumber. The gang then made their escape,
threatening their victims with death In case
OF pursuit
John scboeski, Prohibition candidate for
governor Of Missouri, was one Of the victims
and the only one to recover his nerve. After
failing In his cndcavor TO organize posse for
pursuit he finally mounted horse aud started
after the robbers, overtaking three Of them
camped In = ravine. A lively skirmish fol.
lowed, In which seboeski's horse was killed
under him, but neither he nor any Of the rob-
bers were seriously injured. Sobeski being
thrown to the ground, the robbers took the
opportunity to escape and dashed away. He
walked TO waukalla, aud after giving the
authorities description Of the robbers, left for
Cincinnati to attend the Prohibition conven.
ton.
The state herald., 1892-07-08

that all state and national revenues shall be
limited 10 the necessary expenses Of the gov
crnment, economically and honestly adminis-
tered
be established by the government for the safe
deposit Of the earnings Of the people and to
facilitate exchange.
Transportation being method Of exchange
and a public necessity, the government should
own and operate the railroads In tho interest
Of the people.
D C,l s.t telegraph, telephone, IKE The
transmission Of news, should be owned and
, operated by the government in the interest Of
the people.
The land, including all the natural sources
Of wealth, is the heritage Of the people and
should not be monopOlixed for speculative
purposes, and alien ownership of land should
be prohibited. All the land now held by rail-
roads and other corporations In excess Of
their actual needs, and all lands now owned
by aliens, should be reclaimed by the govern
ment and held for actual settlers only.
Resolutions were also adopted favoring
pensions, shorter hours for workingmen lin
iting the term Of president and vice president,
the election Of senators by popular vote, and
supporting the knights Of Labor In their boy.
colt of the clothing manufacturers Of Rochcs.
ter, New York. A resolution was passed de-
clarng that no federal, state or municipal Of
flee holder could In future vote In the Peo-
PIES conventions.
The roll was then called for the presenta-
ton Of names to be voted for for president. j..
G. Manning Of Alabama presented the name
OF General James b. Weaver Of Iowa. Colo.
RADIO yielded her place tos. r. Norton Of I'LL.
nois who named Senator J. II. Kyle Of South
Dakota. A Connecticut delegate presented
the name Of General James B. Field Of vir-
gina. Rev q. II. Backnof Of Illinois nomi.
mated ex-senator Van Wyck Of Nebraska
.DelsgateE. Gerry Brown Of Massachusetts
nominated Mr.. Mann Page of virginis He
Is president Of the Virginia State Alliance.
Delegate Fish Of Minnesota nominated Igna-
thus Donnelly Of that state.
The names of Van Wyck and Field were
withdrawn.
All Of these nominations were seconded, and
ballot was taken which resulted as follows
Weaver 995, Kyle 265, Norton l, Page l, Stan
ford /.
Norton Of Illinois moved 10 make the nomi-
nation unanimous, and II was carried amid a
hurrah and loud cheering, ending with calls
for Weaver. The general was not present
and committee was appointed to escort him
TO the hall
1t was now after a. m. With little delay
a roll call Of states for nomination for vice
president was begun.
General J. 8. Field of Virginia and Ben
Terrell Of Texas were placed in nomination.
Roll call resulted us follows: Field 1913, Ter
rell 554.
General Weaver and General Field, the
newly made nominees, were brought upon the
stage and given an ovation. Each made q
spirited speech and At 3 =. N. the convention
adjourned.