River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-07-14
PITH AND POINT.


of your DOWNFALL" said the parched
grass to the rain.
-Algernon (who is much given &c
talking in phrases)-"Angelina, love
you with fervor-a fervor-worthy OF
n better cause!'-Tit-Bits,
For a Small um.-Cora-"Would
You marry for money, Jake?''-"You
bet and it wouldn't take very much to
get me either."-N. " Herald
-Salphinx-"I fear Hiroller is con.
tracing bad habits" Sharpe-"On the
contrary, he seems constantly to be ex-
panding them. boston Courier.
School Teacher-"Teddy, what is
one of the most important duties of the
governor of a state?' Teddy (who reads
the newspapers)-'Tor run for president,
ma'am."
First "a Man Tin logic class)-'Say.
what does |. o. U. mean?" Second "a
Man (who has been there, with sigh
1t generally means nothing at all"
Princeton Tiger.
-''isilenee gives assent, you know"
he urged gently. Does it?" she re-
piled, waking from a reverie. 'Then
I'd advise you to propose TO a deaf
mute. "-Washington Star.
-Pa-'Tommy, did you break any of
the rules at school to-day?" Tommy
"No; but the teacher did" Pa-"The
teacher did How was that, my son?"
Tommy-"She broke one on me-
-Chappie-''Whenever am In doubt
about a matter I stop and sollect my
thoughts" Jessie-"I thought your
man attended to all the disagreeable
little odds and ends. IN. Y. Truth.
-Mabel-"Is Miss SANITY really as
pious as people think she lisp" Mae
'0h. yes; I'm certain she is" Mabel
"What makes you so sure?" Mae
''Why. her clothes fit her SO horribly"
Boston Courier.
- know man." said Eli Perkins,
"who was meaner than a dog. This
man and dog went into a soloon to-
gether, but the man got beastly dunk
while the dog kept sober and went
home like a gentleman"
The Criticism Promptly Met
Customer-''This diamond swan is inn
perfect; it has no bill" Jeweler
(blandly)-"Oh, don't mind that! One
will be forthcoming as soon as it's
sold. Jewellers Weekly.
discrimination in the Pantry
"You are in rather demoralized con-
dition," said the Oleomagarine to the
Cracked lee. YES" replied the latter,
''but I'm what I'm cracked up to be, any
how. detroit Free Press.
The Difference.-"Your practice
will kill you," said the doctor to the
young woman suffering from too much
piano playing. That's all right" she
responded spitefully, yours kills
other people. Detroit Free Press.
"A Check and a Check - Wife
''Charles. l want some money" Hus-
band-''I can't let you have it. gave
you a check yesterday" Wife-"Well,
that's no sign you should want to give
me a check to-day. Detroit Free Press.
Miss Lakeside-"Oh, you may
think l never had an offer; but I'd have
you to know that at home scores of men
were always at my feet" ''Miss st.
Louis-'I don't doubt it. | should say
that there was room enough there for
at least score. boston Transcript.
dhnONtu Dt-
cause that Blinkslcy keeps writing
verses about the beauty of my complex
ion." Blanche-"Why?" Maude-"Be-
cause people have begun TO speak of the
various compositions there are on my
face, and I'm afraid the expression may
be miscopstrued."
Better Unsaid.-Friend latter teal
Your little wife is brilliantly
handsome woman. / should think you'd
be Jealous of her" Host confidential
lyl-'To tell the truth, Simpkins. | am.
never invite anybody here that any
sane woman would take fancy to. -
Little Peddlington Nleewitz.
Advance, Democracy!-Figure on
Doorstep with an air and tone of af-
fable dignity you tell the per-
son of the house, my dear, that the lady
what cleans her steps every Saturday is
unfortinitly laid up IN red with an at
tack of govt, and has sent a lady friend
of hern to act as hunde rstudy at the
usooal charge?"-Fun.
1t is remarkable fact that pris-
oner is never brought into court. He
is always dragged in" Subsequently
he is thrown into prison. This seems
unnecessarily rough treatment, but
long acquaintance with newspaper re-
ports shows us that the practice has ex-
listed since time immemorial, and we
suppose it must be all right.-Boston
Transcript
"A woman's first meeting with her
sons wife Is good deal like her first
meeting with his school teacher She
gave the teacher as many directions as
accompany bottle of medicine, and
she does the same with the wife. She
is to be tender with his peculiarities.
and patient with his stubborness. All
the directions are given to the wife.
There is nothing said to the son.