davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

Every good detective has to some ex-
tent his own way Of working, which is
varied, of course, according to the cir
cumstances, We may say, however, that
as a rule the Partisan agent has freer
hand and works in a somewhat holder,
more self reliant manner than his Eng
fish colleague This follows from his
isolation; he is less helped by 'informa-
ton received" and too badly paid to buy
it, SO he is forced to acquire it by his
own eXertions
A favorite method is to assume the
disguise of working1nan or hawker,
and here it may be said that the use Of
an elaborate makeup exists now only in
books. Every Jealous hand has his own
little wardrobe, and the simpler the bet
ter. The most effectual DISCUSSES are
those which best assimilate the weareI
to common life. The Partisan has two
in particular-the blouse and the work
mans apron.
q Swallowing" is always done by two
y men, one some little way behind thu
other. Each carries a change Of dress
to wit, blouse wound sashwise arounC
the waist and a casquette carried insid
the shirt. The moment the first NAL
fancies himself perceived he gives plac
to the second, and dropping behin'
slips the blouse over his jacket and ey
changes his felt hat for the casquette
Thus metamorphosed he resumes hi
place.-London Saturday Review
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

A gentleman who served on jury that
tried a prisoner defended by General
Henry Morgan tells a good one on that
counselor. In his speech i'll arguing the
case, General Morgan complimented the
Jurors highly, telling them that he Sc
lected them specially for their intelll'
gence. The jury was not out five min
ntes before a verdict of guilty was
returned. whereupon General Morgan
exclaimed, "They are the worst set OF
fools | ever saw. Albany (Ga.) New'
1 and Advertiser.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

The art of writing good stage dialogue
Is still inchoate. 1t must be natural
and vet when it is natural it is beneath
the dignity of the drama, and must De
elevated again to the proper pitch Man
ifestly the stage is not to blame for tins
Int the world Of society, which IS TOO
Ioouacious and frivolous, and lives with
out regard to the compensations, keep
ing and examinations Of art. Only the
esoteric essence Of our life Is now ut toi
dramatic representation, and the dram
atists who can see and adequately por
tray that essence are-shall we say h'
is?-not ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Maya
vino
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19
Theology "a Progressive Science.

Theology is always as much pro
pressive science as geology If l.oOo Of
the wisest, purest, most Intellectual
most healthy scholars IN Clrltendom
TODAY were to formulate "a creed out OF
the New Testament scriptures, as tiny
are known today. that theology state
ment could not remain the same to the
date of A. d 1892 The power, the
thought. the study Of thousand years
would throw it into new forms OF eN'
pression. while the substance would re-
main the same.--BeIcon
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

Diogenes INDUCED in a tart irony"
when. observing over the door Of a
schoolroom this inscription, Let no de-
ceiver enter here" he quietly asked
GLOW does the teacher go inY'-New
York Home Journal.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

No animal has more than five toes,
dioits or claws to each foot or limb.
The horse is one toed the OK two toed'
the rhinoceros is three toed, the hippo
potamus is four toel and the elephant
and hundreds Of other animals are live
toed ST. Louis Republic.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

The principal Of graded school sur
prised his hearers recently by the follow.
ing suggestive sentence. uttered IN all
seriousness;
al am teaching AT g, and have
corpse of eight teachers. ~ Wide Awake
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-02-19

The whitebait, the sprat, the sardine
and the anchovy are the smallest of the
finny tribe, and yet the collection and
sale of these form important and very
profitable industries.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
H MAN WHO QUIT.

About seven miles from the Arkansas
River we met a man on the highway
with a gun on his shoulder. He looked
as if he had been having a ten round
go with break-bone fever and that after
he had been knocked out somebody
had run his suit of clothes through a
corn shelter. He stopped and we
stopped, and he asked:
Coin down as fur as Clark's BendY"
YES"
"Do me a favor2"
EYES,"
"Just after you cross Goose Creek
you'll see a shacklety cabin On the left.
Tharn be an ole woman sittin' on a
log dippin' or smokin' a pipe"
yes"
"And seven tow headed and ragged
youn y'uns rollin' around in the dirt. p"
eyes"
"Wall, that's my place and family,
or was up to an hour ago. I want ye
to stop and tell the old woman that
I've quiz. My names Hiram, and if
she doubts you, which she won't, you
kin describe me-"
"Do you mean you have left home9'
"Sartin. I've got clean sickened
out and I'm headed fur a healthier
climate. Might jist stop and tell the
old woman so she won't think I've got
0oSroJ ~ JrOuOo5 -
%Bdt didn't you tell her you were
geing9'
E"No. 1 was out shooting squirrels
and made up my mind all of a sudden.
It's right on your road and won't stop
YOU more'n a minute. Good by"
We found the place without diff
c1AIty. There was the shacklety cabin
ard there sat the old woman calmly
smoking a clay pipe with a stem only
mo inches long. Scattered around
. lhong the stumps were half a dozen
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
TREAT EVERYBODY KIND.

1 felt badly a few days ago, when a
lady called to offer me an article for
which she was canvasing. The weather
was cold, and I neglected to invite her
to a fire. I thought little of this until
after her departure, and then I wished
that 1 had done something to show her
l was not Indifferent to her comfort,
although l did not give her an order.
It occurred to me that I had not shown
her such c~ourtesies as I would expect
from her if our positions were trans
posed. Wondered to how many houses
she might go before warmth and COM
fort and good cheer were given.
Numerous c~onjectures did I make as
to the history Of that woman. I re-
membered that she must meet with
many unpleasant experiences in her
work, and l knew that she would not
engage in it from a preference for the
occupation. [ imagined that her mind
was far away with an invalid mother,
a crippled sister, o. with little ones
WIZ udO AOU 4O4S AAAO"h OAO PAObOS
ton of the father who loved them so
we'll, But I may never know more Of
her; may never have an opportunity
to express the interest which 1 now
feel in her. Fortune may be kind to
her, and if I should e her again it
may be as the maker of home; the
life in which m find her greatest
happiness, her grandest work. May
this glad change be in store for her.
Such ~earnestness as hers must meet
reward; and # the coming Christmas
time shall encircle her brow with
flowers of peace, brighten her heart
with the light of love, and satisfy her
life with comforts of home, it will be
the fulfillment of my wishes.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15

Hon. CIV. Wilcox, District Lecturer
for the Third district; will address the
citizens of Duplin county as follows,
speaking at IL O'clock:
Magnolia, Tuesday, March Is, at
Magnolia.
Cypress Creek, Wednesday, March
16, at Ching Alliance Hall.
Smiths, Thursday, March II, at Cedar
Fork.
Limestone, Friday, March 10, at Hulls.
vile.
Keenonsville, Saturday, March 10, at
Keenonsville.
Warsaw, Monday, March 81, at
Warsaw.
Faison, Tuesday, March %, at Faison.
Wolf Scrope, Wednesday, March %,
at Lofts Branch.
. Glissons, Thursday, March "a, at
Branches Store.
AIbertson's Friday, March %, at
Sutton's Branch.
President Butler is expected to be
with him at Keenonsville, Warsaw
and Faison's. Everybody invited TO.
attend. j @. MCMILLAN,
Lecturer D. @. Al
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
FINGERS REcoME rHuMRs.
Fair Typewriters Afflicted with a New
and Startling Disease

Fair Typewriters Afflicted with a New
and Startling Disease
"Typewriter's stub fingers" is the
name of the newest affection on the
books of the doctors, and it threatens
to become M of the formidable evils
of modern civilization The deformity
has gradually been introducing itee.f
among its unconscious victims, until
now suddenly a host of typewriters,
fair and otherwise, have awakened to
the startling discovery that their can
slant playing upon the little pianolike
machines has utterly destroyed the
shapeliness of their hands and trans
formed their fingers into thumbs.
The first to realize this terrible result
were the pretty young typewriters of
the fairer sex, who beheld with horror
the loss of their long, tapering fingers,
upon whose charm they had so prided
themselves. Instead of their sweetly
nodded fingers tapering gracefully to
the tips and aristocratically curling,
what was their CONSERVATION ana
chagrin to be struck with the fact
that long hammering upon the little
round keys had effectually fattened
out their finger tips and given each
particular digit, above the top joint, a
grotesquely and vulgarly stubby ap-
pearance. The doctors immedi-
ately besieged by despairing bevies of
bewithching typewriters, who hid their
distorted and 1attened fingers in the
depths of their mitts and gloves.
"Just to think" exclaimed n of
the nearly weeping young women to
her physician; 81 had such a long,
slender hand, and was the envy of
that nasty Miss @, whenever visitors
in the Office gazed On a~dmiringly at
my fingers dancing over the keys.
Even my employer used to smile ap-
provingly, as he glanced over his
papers, at my nimble, tampering
fingers. And now
She had to bite her lip to keep the
tears back.
Her tale of woe was repeated sadly
by many young women to their doctors
and to their bosom friends. The male
typewriters have also become as
alarmed as their sister professionals.
Probably 500 typewriters in Philadel-
phia have become thus unhappily
afflicted, and the rest are growing
rapidly panic stricken. The public in
general must feel an interest in wonder
ing whether the affection is liable to
spread and with the use of typewriters
themselves give rise to a future gen
Grafton which shall be all thumbers
and no fingers Record.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
A LITTLE

Is vas a very stormy Sunday, and
mamma and the children did not go to
church.
Harold, who vas not yet five, and
his younger brother Derry liked to go
to church and Sunday school, and to-
day they hardly knew what to do with
themselves. Just before noon Harold
ran into mammals room, saying:
Mamma, Derry is going to play
store"
"But it is Sunday" said mamma
gently; she must not play store to-
day"
81 know it," said Harold, land
please give me the preach book,
mamma; I'm going to preach to him!'
Youths Companion.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15

children, each one seemingly. more
dirty and ragged than the other. I
was deputized to break the news to the
woman.
"Howdy, stranger" she saluted as
I approached.
Madam, have you got a husband
named Hiram9" 1 asked.
q reckon"
Tall, sickly looking man, with
ragged clothes on9"
"That's Hi"
"Well, we met him up the road
about three miles and he asked us to
stop and tell you he'd quit"
Dun left us?"
Yes"
"Gwine off by hisself2"
Yes"
And he won't come back no MOI"
That's the way 1 understood him"
She looked around at the half cleared
patch" of ground grown up to weeds
at the old cabin the ragged children,
and then she removed the pipe and
blew a cloud of smoke into the air and
replied:
"Wall, hang me if I blame him one
least bit. I've been wonderin' why
he didn't go fur the last fifteen years"
And as we drove away she sat there
smoking and trotting her feet, evi
IDENTIFY as calm and content as any
woman in the State .-DetrOjt Free
Press
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
"NothingIn he answered

linen Wnat are you jumping at and
so for3 I thought you'd shake the
chandeliers down."
"The blamed thing must have slipped
on mel" he growled as he returned to
the glass to survey the cut. prob,
ably didn't hold it exactly right. All!
that's more like the way the barber
told me to hold it. Now, then, take
it easy till you get the hang of it. May
be ten minutes this time, but on the
next occasion M"
"Mr. Bowser, open this door," called
Mrs. Bowser from the hall.
"W-what do you w-want?" he
gasped.
81 want to know what all this swear
ing and kicking over the chairs meansl
Didn't I tell you how you would come
out!'
"YOu go away! I'm alright! It was
the man next door you heardr"
He heard her go away after a bit,
and he went back to the glass to
whisper:
"Tll be hanged if I haven't pr tty
near cut my old chin off! What in
Texas ails the old thing, anyhow! I'll
get the hang Of it if it cuts my head
off! I didn't have lather enough.
lie lathered some more. Then he
picked up the razor, and carefully ex-
amined both sides and the edge and
back. Then he laid the fat of the
blade on-his chin, and smiled sweetly
and whispered:
Probably a little nervous, being the
first time. I'll just getto it by degrees.
That's the way to do it! No barber
ever slid a razor over my chin any
richer than that. The idea of Mrs.
Bowser calling it $40 thrown away!
That's the way with a woman. If
they can save a cent here they'll waste
a dollar there. III"
Mrs. Bowser heard a yell and started
for the stairs. She met Mr.. Bowser
half way up. The lather was flying
about and the blood vas streaming
down on his shirt bosom, and his eyes
were as big as onions.
"Well, didn't I say soY" she de-
manded.
Her words brought Mr.. Bowser to
himself. He turned back, beckoned
for her to follow, and as they entered
the bedroom he silently pointed. The
razor lay on the floor, the bowl was
broken in three pieces, and there was
lather everywhere.
"WellG" she queried, as she picked
up three towels and placed two chairs
on their legs again.
Woman he hoarsely whispered,
"this is too much!"
why, what have you doneG"
"Surel Donel Look at meI'
Yes, but you tried to shave your
self"
but who dragged me into it2"
"Mr. Bowser, you certainly can't
blame me. I told you before you"
THAT'S enough This is the limit! l
understand it all, and can see just how
you planned it! 1t is not your fault
that 1 did not cut my throat, and that
you are not now a widow? Mrs. Bow
ser, leave me to myself! I have some
papers to look over before consulting
a lawyer to morrowI"-M. quad, IN
the Post Dispatch.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
PPOINTMENT

ELM CRY, N. c., Feb. 2, '92.
Hon. J. M. Mewborne, District Lee
turer, and Rev. j. T. B. Hoover, County
Lecturer, will meet with the Sub-Ani-
ances in Wilson county at the follow.
ing times and places:
Buckhorn, Tuesday, March 18th.
Lucama. Wednesday, =" 18th.
Stantonsburg, Thursday, 18th.
The public is invited to be present.
Speaking commences at 10 o'clock m.
Respectfully,
J. T. B. HOOVER,
County Lecturer.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
THE MAN WITH A FAILING.
His Efforts to Relieve the intense Anxiety
Were Not Appreciated.

Were Not Appreciated.
1t was 1870 o'clock at night, and the
rain and wind and darkness made it a
wild one, when the train suddenly
came to a halt. Some one had swung
a lantern on the track about a quarter
of a mile from the bridge spanning
Shady creek. Those of us who turned
out to learn what was up saw farmer
looking man come back to the smoking
car with the conductor, and when in
out of the storm the latter asked:
CHOW, then, you say there's trouble
ahead. What is iti Talk fast, for I
am now twelve minutes behind time"
The man was about forty years old,
dressed in coarse clothing and was wet
to the skin. The lantern was an old
fashioned one, made of tin, and the
light was furnished by a piece of
candle about three inches long.
LOOK a-here, gineral," he replied
to the conductor in a way,
Ego sorter slow on me or 1 can't tell
yo' the story"
"What do you mean9"
"T've-I've got a failin'. If yo' git
me excited I'll stut-stut-stutter till yo'
can't understand a word I say"
Every we'll you stopped us2"
Eyes; I felt called 20 do it. Hold on,
now! Don't push mel"
"I1I give you time. You live near
here, don't you2"
Right up by the branch thar.
Lived thar goin' on twenty years.
Keep cool, gineral, and don't git me
narvous. I'm a-doin all right so fur"
Wei you felt called upon to
stop us9"
Ibid. It's been rainin' purity steady
fur about a week"
Eyes"
"The branch has just been a-humpin'
of herself fur the last two days"
Eyes the water has been rising"
Hold on, gineral! Don't chip in
too fast. I'm a-holdin' of myself as
hard as I kin, but I feel my tongue
wobblin' around. This noon I seen
the water risin' mighty fast and I felt
it my duty to watch it. l went up
agin about dark and then agin an
hour ago. 1 knowed when you was
due here, and"-
And you stoppedus. Good heavens,
man! but is the bridge goneI"
"Hold on. gineral! You are goin too
fast! I t-t-told you if you gg got me
"Take it easy, replied the conductor.
Just think what you want to say and
then speak very slow. Great lands!
but what an escapes"
''GineraI, [ reckoned yo'd worry
about the bridge"
Yes, I've been very anxious about it."
"Yo' knowed the water was risin
way up"
81 told the old woman you'd worry
about it, and that I'd best git the Ian
tern and stop the TT train aaant
t. t tell-tell -
Take it easy, man, there's no hurry
You got your lantern and stopped the
trainsn to tell us that the bridge had
been foated off by the freshet. under
stand and I can promise you
"GineralH'
Eyes"
The bridge is all right I reckoned
VOID worry over it, and SO I got the
lantern and stopped the train to tell
YOU that the water had gone down
four feet and the bridge hadn't suffered
a ha'r!"
[ don't remember all the conductor
said when he got at the facts, nor how
many passengersh helped throw the man
down among the bushes, but when the
train moved on he was banging the old
tin lantern around and calling:
"G.G-Gineral, I'll be h-h-hanged if l
don't see this old r-r-road in T-T-Texas
before lever do it anotherfa fa-favorI"
-NeU York World.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
PUBLIC SPEAKING.

A. G. Shuford, Lecturer of Seventh
Congressional district, will address the
public at the following times and places:
Cool Springs, March Is, -"
Harmony, Ii, ="
Olin, II "
Brady's x Roads, 18' "
StatesviIle, " 10, +"
President Marion Butler and Hon.
Harry Skinner will address the people
at Statesville on the 10Th. Speaking
to begin at II a. m, each day, and a
private meeting of the Alliance after
the public addresses.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
WORTH KEEPING.

Father of Family-"Madam, what
es this mean3 Our daughter is alone
the parlor with a youg man, and it's
ter eleven g'clock3 I shall go right
wn and kickthe fellow out"
MotherZz(quledy)-"Sh came up
out half an hour ago and asked for
o pair of s~cissors.n
Hug What in CREATION did she
vant them for?"
She said she was poin.Ln hin,
slsD coupons."
- 80 ba 80 RICH; down and lock
NeaVs.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
CASWELL co. ALLIANCE MEET.
INGS.

Mr.. P. H. Massey, Lecturer for the
5th Congressional District, and DIR. G.
G. Lea, County Lecturer, will address
the people at the following places:
Blue Fork, Tuesday, March 18th.
County Line, Wednesday, " 18th
Purley, Thursday, Eth.
Red House. Friday, " 18th.
Leasburg, Stature ay, 18th.
Speaking to begin at II o'clock a. m.
Everybody invited.
9. G.. LEA, Co. Lecturer.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
NOTICE FROM STATE EXEcC
TIVE COMMITTEE.

The State Alliance does not pay the
EXPENSES of anyone washington spsak
inc to Alliances except the State Pegi,
lent or Lecturers, and any AIliaaces
inviting Speakers to address them
should expect at least to pay theic ex
penses.
S. B. Alexander, J. M. MeVborI1, !.
s. Observation-Disclosures
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
PROFESSIONAL FAITH.

MRS. Nervous see so little i'm
tovement in my husband that I have
ncluded to call in another physician.
trust you will not feel offendedr"
"Doctor-"Not at all. He's a very
lex man, and I doubt if any doctor
an make him worse ."-Once-A Week.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-03-15
Poetry
[wri ten for The PRoeRESs,vs WEsT,
LII SOUTH AND THE WE@A'

THE SUI n E1NN
dame nature hath hvished'
80 rlCEo3dIv covered and drSst b5na
The felqs LnG IN the 'Sonth and the NTso3
AtT no land ever lavishsd He1
i0r krpt so grandly abreaN 5uctinn
Of the mar rf6s 81 Of tbeS Southland the "est'
rn raople who crowd our great i'I
ID Pof4oiC e and douhly are elsSoobor
feJobb oTTntifuI products OF lSDo5 the West.
= Mai comes from the Soun""jria
The steeI-cIau 4 Ra oooo1 seek vainly for rest,
Ana LLp9treams IF our pOducIs KEEP uO"lnB
"F4r 10 fields of the souEn a1SS
All nations are equally wa5LPg;
a al bCoDjng that tLey M be o TsG
In the great piles Of fTqiIFS5f The West.
RHt the demon of greed 8ol0""'
So nice. so c~unningly q Tsts7.ob+
Th ho + ne G GLIe Of the So n and the West.
"a comes to divide. to ,q5eT and spoil
The tOilers whom nstu L9'" "N0'
To gather, 4fh cIds ~ t n lIc-h and the West.
SbalG We tamely submit : IN S monster
Who feeds on the poor @I 4iSCIe0oeU
while sapping the life Of haIl9n uv.z4
That flows from the So11 ana Che "eSV'
BEHOLD, this corporate u aster OF greeu
With this legend enr1cihS ms CREST
81 master the whole sitJitOnS
| contrOi the Sputh audhe west
7 sit on the highway of n IONS
While rulers obey my nest
Ind woe to the one WI would question
NV calm on the SoUtg.nd the Vest"
No hone that the bUudeIs may tighten
While the rObber and nr&te Unrest
The land of the debt-ridlen tollers
Who dwell in the SouA and the West.
|eb Observation-Disclosures of our country
discouraged. down-trQden, oppressed,
Arise in the strength OF pur
And drive from the Stlth and the West
This robber that lives to espoil-
This monster whom alIhOuld detest,
This tyrant that lives to 0slave
The men of the South an the West.
And your children, unborn shall arise
And give you the need C the blest,
While Justice and plenty 1al reign
In the homes of the SOth and the West.
r. G.. SCOTT.