davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
Witty bv Adontion.

You haven't any idea" said a young mar.
ried woman the other day, to a
Mail and Express writer, "what naughty
story telers some women are about their chill
drenl" She spoke with some neat, and then,
as though conscious Of the fact, stopped alb
ruptly with little. embarrassed laugh
"Wel,' she added. 81 confese l have a eriev-
ance, and wish you would publish it for me-
Here is my story: | sent the children down
to Maine to see mother last fall. Ethel, you
know, is and May is s.
They are original children, and mother had q
the odd queries was about Gods being every.
where. Mother had told them about it, and, OF
course that was sufficient for them. Imagine
her horror one morning on overhearing the fol-
lowing conversation:
Ethel, said May, grandma says God is
everywhere, but don't think so, for never sea
him, ana if he was everywhere must see him
somewhere This was rather poser for Ethel
when bright thought struck her, and she an
swered: Well, May, guess you don't get up
early enough in the morning, for you know, he
says: They that seek me early shall find me- -
Grandma repeated the story to several
friends, and it finally got into the local paper
without names, of course Some one discovered
the story somewhere and adopted 1t for family
use
would you believe it have had two &C
qualntances tell me that story as originating
women can talk so? / wish you would publish
the real facts in the case, for 1 am disguised
with having my children's bright sayings pla
giarized in this way" And Mrs. - leaned
back in her chair, a pretty pink and white edi
ton OF outraged motherhood
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
Irving to nsfeat Cleveland.

The newspapers that are friendly to Sena-
tor Hill, seeing there is no chance for him
to get the nomination, are doing their ut
most to prevent Mr.. Cleveland from getting
it. They seem to think they can do the
most toward accomplishing that by pub
fishing statements which show that very
few of the delegates thus far elected are for
him.
The purpose OF these statements is to
create an impression in states which have
not vet chosen delegates to Chicago that
Mr.. Cleveland has no chance for getting
the nomination, and that 1t is useless, there
fore, to elect delegates favorable to him.
Doubtless the statements will do Mr.. Cleve-
land little injury, but the great majority
Of the people will get the truth. The num-
bsr OF those who will be deceived will not
be largo enough to have any Improbable
influence in determining the result.
More than a third of the delegates have
been chosen, and about all Of them, except
the seventy-two from New York, are for
Mr.. Cleveland The opponents Of Mr..
Cleveland may say that those from Massa-
chusetts are for Russell, those from Illinois
for Palmer, those from Indiana for Gray,
those from Pennsylvania for Pattison aud
80 on through the list, but the fact remains
that all are for Cleveland and will support
him just as soon as the favorite sons have
been given a mplimentary vote. In some
instances no complimentary vote will be
given. The talk of Gray, Boies, Palmer +,
Pattison, Russell and others means
that in the event Mr.. Cleveland
should not be able to get the
required two-thirds vote all of them will
brought forward by their respective dele
cations and pressed upon the attention of
the convention.
Nobody can say, Of course. what the con-
vention will do, but 1t is only truth to say
that Mr.. Cleveland has now almost a third
of the delegates. and that the outlook is that
he will have more than two-thirds when the
convention meets. IL is very doubtful if
another delegation will be instructed for
Senator HILL He will get a few more dele
gates-two or three probably in each
of several states-but it would
not be safe to predict that he will have 125
delegates when the convention assemblies.
Few of those who once believed he could
carry New York il nominated think so now.
1t is probable that he has given up all hope
Of getting the nomination. and it looks as If
bis chief purpose now is to prevent the
nomination OF Mr.. Cleveland.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
a Plucky Dog,

Gyp is only little fox terrier, Weighing less
than thirty pounds. says the New York World,
but to Tip and Tom, the two menagerie
elephants he is as big as a mountain and
weighs tons. Between Tip and Tom and the
dog there exists an antagonistic feeling that
leads to many quarrels. The dog has been an
inmate of the park menagerie house for a
year, during which time his love fer Lizzie,
who was shipped to Cleveland last week grew
as rapidly as his hatred for Tim and Tom.
Lizzie seemed fond Of the dog but at the same
time feared him.
Whenever Keeper Snyder has occasion to
punish his charges GYp is always on hand to
on the feet, legs and trunk, but they are severe
enough to cause the big black hulks to
thorouhly fear him. When Lizzie went away
Gyp was nearly inconsolable, but his sorrow
took the form OF attacks on Lizzie's com
Last Friday afternoon Tom thought he saw
an opportunity to take Gyp unawares and so
struck at him with his trunk Gyp saw the
blow coming and lodged, and before Tom could
recover he had him by the end OF the trunk.
Gyp chung and Tom roared and stamped
about, but didn't appear to realize that he could
fling the dog through the roof. When Gyp
thought he had enough he let go and ran be-
tween Toms legs and out of the stall
Tip was visited next, but the animal is so
afraid of the terrier that he didn't dare make a
move. To see an animal less than ~ inches
high rule one standing 1919 feet is an uncommon
sight
When Tom nearly killed Fisher and Keeper
Snyder came to the scene, Gyp was right on
hand. He seized Toms trunk and chung until
shaken off. In this way he contributed not
animals attention
The dog is worth dozen strong men in sub
DUNG fractlous Tip, said snyder yesterday,
land would not part with her for farm
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
PER SONAL..

ADELINA PATTI says that when she has left of;
singing she will take to acting.
GRAND RAPIDS, MICH, has young woman,
Mia Upper, who is Unitarian minister.
A HANDSOME MARBLE BUST of Miss Frances
Willard is to be placed In the temperance build
Ing at the worlds fair.
EUGENE H. Cow1Es, inventor Of the trolley
system of p-opelling street cars by electricity,
died at III Paso. Tex, last Thursday
FRANCOIS RossoTT, who died of old age in Fort
Wayne, Ind. a few days ago, was one of Napo-
Icons soldiers. Had he lived as few months
longer he would have been 100 years old.
ANTHONY TRoLLoPE was as careless in speech
as be was in dress and could swear like a cos
termonger aud copy his manners But he could
write, and knew this was what many OF his
critics could not do.
Mr.. AND MRS. GEORGE MONTGOMERY, the mill
ionaire recruits Of the Salvation Army who
visited New York two weeks ago to see the dark
side OF life in the metropolis, have left their
home in San Francisco.
Mr.. TILDEN's personal effects remaining in
the Gramercy PARK house were divided among
the six heirs on Wednesday. The family of
Henry a. Tiden of New Lebanon, secured the
famous Louis Philippe dinner set.
GEORGE KEENAN,, the Siberian traveller, author
and lecturer. is one Of the most fluent interest.
ing anu AHG8uduSLlDle OIL llNAlR CONVERSATIONAL
lists. The Russian exile system is the subject
nearest his heart, snd he never tires of dis
cussing it.
RICHARD A. PRocToRs widow married her
third husband last week in the Scotch Presby-
terrain church, Regents square. His name is
DR.. James Cammac Smythe of Belfast. Mrs
Proctor's maiden name was Thompson. She
was the daughter Of a merchant in St. Joseph,
Mo.
The death of Dom Pedro. late Emperor of
Brazil, left vacancy in the list of (eight) for
eign associates of the Academic des Sciences,
France, and 1t is likely to be filed by the cleo
ton OF Lord Kelvin, who, as Sir William Thorn
sou, is known as the first physicist" in the
world.
A NUMBER OF the members of the New York
Southern Society and of the resident southern
colony attended reception given last Wednes-
day evening by DR.. J. H. Parker. the president
OF the society, in honor of the 18th anniversary
OF his marriage. Mrs. Parker was formerly
Miss Julia A. Jones of Charleston, S. G.
CONGRESSMAN FUNSTON of Kansas, says
the Chicago Tribune, is big, brawny
and ponderous-look man with the
frame of giant and the temper of a hedgehog,
and when he gets mad the deep diapason of his
thunderous objurgatons rattles the reporters
and shakes the putty out Of the House win
dows.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
she Followed the Precedent.

The pealing anthem had been sounding the
note OF praise through long drawn aisle and
| fretted vault for the space OF quarter Of an
hour. The groom, rather agitated in manner.
with the best man at his heels. had entered
from the sacvisty and was standing at the
chaucel rail. Tbs guests tried to look as il they
did not perceive the discomposure of the pro-
spective husband and wondered why the bride
people In the rear pews glanced anxiously at
the door Of the vestry. The people in front
stared at the frescoing upon the wall. consider
atsly refraining from directing their gaze to-
ward the pallid young man in a dress suit, who
trembled and looked sick at heart. The organ
Rrowled and beloved, but the bride came not.
Two minutes had flown. More people were
LOOKING at the vestry door, fewer at the fresco-
ing, while one or two, fascinated against
thelr VIII with the sight of human
misery, viewed the groom with undis-
gulsed pity Three minutes had slipped into
the past. The organst was half way through
the trlumphal march for the second time. The
pest man was getting groggy. The groom's
knees were shifting together, The bridal party
ned not entered. Four minutes had elapsed.
Within the vestry stood group of beautiful
LADIES' In shlmmerinR satins and jewels rare
the bridesmaids waited at the threshold OF the
church: Behind them, attired in magnihcence,
the maid OF honor paused expectantly. Upon
all their faces was look Of impatence mingled
with asJonishment. The blushng bride, sweet
and interesting as brides always are. was
speaking. wait. girls - she directed with the
pTettiest arrogation Of authority imaginable,
is playing. " And the people are
waiting" And wondering why we
don't come" "And the grooml" At
the mention of her beloved the BRIDES soft
cheek was overspread with rosiness and shy
smile of inefable happiness played about her
lips. ut must be awful for him to wait there
before so many people, expostulated the maid
OF honor. But. girls, we must waltz The
bride was firm. "Why?" The beautiful
maidens gathered to attend their friend to the
portal or wedlock demanded information. BE
HangA---f' bn il, I, I,s-
trembled. ~ never yet in all our long court
ship" He cheeks were grown deeper red.
was less than fifteen minutes late in getting
ready" She looked really triumphant
And can't disappoint him now He will ex-
pect to wait at least that long for me accord
ing to all precedent" After It was all over the
groom was not surprised to discover that his
collar was melted and that he had no appetite
for the wedding breakfast.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
BRIGHT BITS.

PHoToeRAPHER-Did you ever sit for a photo
graph before?
Little Chino. sir. I've always stood-Good
Nelos..
"Y:A-A-s," said Mugby II was deuced sorry
me father left me everything and cut me
brother on with nothing. It will force Tom into
twade and the name'n be disgwaced. "-Nero
York Sun.
WArrs-Your wife wouldn't object to your
Joining new club, would She?
n. Peck-Is it one Of those suicide clubs? 1
don't think she would object to that.-Indian-
GpotiS Journal.
TEAcHER-Your answer to the problem abouG
much,
Bright Boy-Six OF the days was Sundays, an
they don't count.-Good NeJos.
FAIR READER-Some of the things in your pa
per are so silly.
Modest Editor-Do You think so9
Falr Reader-Yes do. | can always tell
what you understandable Journal
HIS eye in a fine frenzy rolled
He burned with an exalted rage
He went to dip his pen in the ink
And dipped it in the mucilage.
-Neio York Herald.
DocToR-Hm. You are run down, sir !
You need an ocean voyage What is your bust
ness?
Patient--second mate of the Anne Marie, lust
in from Hong Kong .---Broosly7p Life.
FR1END-How are you to-day?
Sick han-Pretty bad. I'm afraid I'm going
to die
Friend-Nonsense. Cheer up, old fellow.
only the good die young.-NeuO York Press.
FIRST PRoFEssoR-You see, they let MIN In the
Academy of Sciences because he had taken an
A. B., an S. B., an A. M, Phi, D., and NJ. D,
Second Professor-Ah, 1 understa nd - he
worked it by degrees.-HGrUdrd Lampoon.
CAsHIER--So you pronounce your signature
on that check a forgery? Are you sure you did
not write it?
Deposition Certainly. l couldn't make such
scrawl as that even with bank pen Good
| Nelcs.
A NEPHEW wrote to his uncle: ITO come to the
| point at once. If you do not send me hundred
lire, l shall blow out my brains " Uncle's
| reply: Some time ago you wrote me in a SINH
| lar strain, and sent you my revolver but you
went and pawned it. "-Cri Cri
CoEIINe-why, chappie, you look fatigued.
| What's the trouble?
| Gcsin--I am quite tired, Cholly got up
| this mawning ten minutes earlier than usual,
| instead of remaining in bed ten minutes later
than usual as genewally do.-Hdrper's Bazor.
did you destroy this feather duster?" asked
| Freddie's mother.
"Yes'm," answered Freddie, 81 wanted to be
an Indian Chief
But don't you know that feather busters
cost moneys" queried his mother.
| II did, said Freddie. but Indian chiefs
don't think of such things. "-Hdrper's Young
| People,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
index To NBW ADVBRTBEMEN IS.

MEErINGs-Savannah Castle No. 8, X. G. E.
The Cottage Club; Georgia Chapter No. 3, r. A.
M; Equitable Building ami Loan Association;
Ladies' Auxiliary, Y. NJ. c A; Executive
Committee Democratic Party OF Chatham
County; Executive Board Merchants Week
Association.
ESPECIAL NoT1cE-Notice AS to Closing Of S.
Guckenheimer & Sons.
MILITARY ORDER-Order No. 5, German Vol
unteers.
CLOTHING AND FURNISHING GooDs-Appel &
Schaul.
HERE WE REsr-B H. Levy & Bro.
LEGAL characterization From the Clerk of
the Court of Ordinary or Chatham County.
AUCTION SALEs-Furniture. by L D. & R. D,
LaRoche; Immense Stock OF Furniture to be
Closed Out by C. 81. Dorset.
ANUsEMENTs-Bass Ball, Chathams VS.. Co
lumbia Champions To-day
LEGAL Observation-Disclosures Sale Of Estate
of William Scheihing, Deceased.
UNDERwEAR-Falk Clothing Company.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvE EXPERIMENTATION
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
May Week.

The Merchants week celebration, to be-
| gin next Monday, will have many attractive
features. An exceptionally interesting pros
gramme has been arranged and cheap rail-
road rates have been secured over all the
lines leading to the city. With these
drawing cards" the city should, and doubt
less will, be full of visitors. There win be
enough to see and hear, TO think about and
| admire for months, and the recreation TO be
derived from the little holiday will do every
visitor good far beyond the value of the
| money spent.
The presence of the United States war
ships will give rural visitors the chance of
lifetime to see in the Philadelphia one of
the most complete fighting machines yet
evolved from the brains of experts
| in naval construction and arma-
ment, and in the Kearsarge ship famous
as fighter in every quarter of the globe.
The feet will be in command of the naval
officer who won distinction IN Mobile bay,
Bancroft Gherardi, now a rear admiral in
the service.
Another leading feature of the week will
be something entirely new in the south-a
parade of militia on bicycles. One man
| balanced on top of a hands breath of
leather suspended between two wheels and
spinning along at the rate of ten or
twelve miles an hour is sight that has be-
come common, yet there ID not a man nor
woman but will watch the 'cyclist as long
as he is conveniently in sight, and, il he be
more than ordinarily expert rider, will
stop and turn around to watch the swift
wheel. Then, if a single wheel,
we'll handled, is so interesting. how
much more interesting will be
the spectacle OF three or four
hundred wheels. ridden by handsome young
experts in bright uniforms, going through
a series Of military evolutions. OF parading
in line nearly half of mile long
These features-ths ships and the CYCLES
constitute only portion of the Merchants
week programme; there will be numerous
others not whit less interesting, and many
more pleasing, according TO the observers
fancy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04

James Owen OConnor, an alleged actor
who played tragedies with a net retched
between him and the audience" has retired
from the stage. His Interpretation of
Shakespearean plays never failed to strike
the audience as strictly original, and the
audience never failed to strike back with
decaYed vegetables, old eggs aud other
equally Objectionable missiles. But O'Con-
nor always had q full house; people would
go out to have fun with him, and were will
ing to pay for it. The way he turned the
sublime into the ridiculous-intenselyr idicu-
lous-in Hamlet" led w. A. Brady,
theatrical manager well-known in
the SOUTH to consider seriously scheme
for putting "Hamletn on the stage as a
! farce comedy. Thu lines were to remain as
in the original, except where local gags"
or broad humor could be worked in. and
the parts were to be taken by characters di-
smetrically the opposite of the ones Shake
speare intended toportray. For instance,
the part OF the Melancholy Danen was to
have been played by Bowery tough, wit h
close cropped hair and dressed in a swagger
suit Of some loud pattern. The possibilities
Of making "howling farce" were great,
but the manager had not the courage to
face the popular condemnation that such a
! show would have met, so he gave up the
| scheme
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
Not Very Important.

1t was on the sailing day of one OF the big In
man lines, says the New York CONNER ctai
advertiser. The usual tears had been shed, the
usual farewells had been spoken, and slowly.
with snorting tug upon each side of her the
giant craft showed her nose out into the stream
pier aud the voyagers upon the boat began Co
remember things that they ought to have said
before and howl the same across the rapidly
widening stretch of water. Close to the bulk
head stood tall, spare woman, who had been
industriously waving pale blue handkerchief
1000. Henry" she suddenly shreked to q
stout little man on the rear deck who had been
ibid you post that letter." MOO" howled
the stout little man in reply; ''Ill mail it in
Liverpooln' Never mind, Henry" responded
the other, lit was only to the butcher, tellin'
him never to send up another steak like that
10 ono
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other IN
formation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
J. II. BATES, IS Park Row.
g, P. RowEIL & Co, 10 Spruce street.
W. ". SHARP & Co., 81 Park Row.
FRANK KIERNAR & Co., 1872 Broadway
DAUCHY & o., q Park Place.
]. w. Thompson. SO Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHER g ASSOCIATION
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
n. ". AVER SON, Times Building.
BOSTON
g. r. NILES, $50 Washington street.
PErTENeILL & Co, 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRp 8 THOMAS, 45 Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
RDwIs ALDEN COMPANY, 66 West Fourth street
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAN & Co.. ll9 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MORNING NEWS BUREAU, ~ whitehall street,
st. AUGUSTINE
a. NARCOTIC, st. Augustine, Fla
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04

DR.. Parkhurst. the preacher who las
taken upon himself the task of bringing all
New York TO ore moral level by visiting the
haunts of vice and publishing the story Of
what be sees from his pulpit or in the courts
aud newspapers, drew (by inferencel this
parallel between himself and the Saviour
during his sermon last Sunday: ~ can
imagine some of the -Four Hundred angels
who loaf about the courts OF heaven, upon
seeing Jesus start down for Bethlehem in the
advent time, express their establishment and
disgust. expostulate with him and even re-
buke him for passing to the earth. where the
serpent's scaly form SO long trailed. and
suggest that he send down some third-class
angel to look after the business"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
They Claim Everything.
From the Nelp York World (De,n.O

The claim Of the republican platform that our
large exports this year are due to tariff de-
vent foreign trade is sufficiently cool for the
season. It is no new thing for the high protec-
tionists to attribute to the tariff taxes all the
prosperity OF this country, including big crops
and little babies. But 1t is something rather
new to claim for the tariff credit for an unusual
foreign demand for our food stuffs, caused by
short crops and famine abroad. There Ia dan
ger Of overworking the theory of the hutifYing
effect Of taxes on the peopla's necessaries.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
Registered at The Posto1ice IN SdoonndA


The MoRNIHG NEWS is published every day IN
the year, and is served TO subscribers IN the
eltv at ST 90 a month, s. oO for six months and
so 90 for one year.
The MoRNING NEWS. by mail, one month,
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The MoRNINo News, BY nldi', six times week
without Sunday issue, three months, g. 0O'
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The MoRNING NEWS, Tn-Weekly, Mondays,
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days and Saturdays, three months, 81 70; SIX
months. 81 so; one year, 20 % ooo,
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Subscriptions payable 10 advance. Remit oy
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rency sent by mail at risk Of senders-
Letters and kilograms should be SddreSSeu
'MoRNINe NEWS Savannah, Ga
Transient advertisements, other than special
column, local or reading notices, ADJUSTMENTS
and cheap or want column 10 cents hhe'
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal 70 one
inch space in depths the standard OF meas
urement Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04
A Rustic Convert.
Fronr Ontfno

''You kant ketch nothin' with them thar things
With yarn fer bodies an feathers for wings
You must think trout is terrible fools
Ter be ketched with such outlaudish tools.
An look at that pole-why, that won't do;
A good, big trout would bust it in two,
An never think nothin ov what he did
AS quick as lightnin' away he slid.
Well. I'll be durn, you can shoot me dead
Eff here amt windlass filed with thread;
An the littlest sort ov thread at that
Why, man, that wouldn't hold gnat!
You'll find good place over here,
Under the rapids, deep an clear.
You'd better take worms an er hick'ry pole
Or you won't ketch nothin' pom my SOUL"
=
Sixteen beauties, speckled bright,
The baskets bore ere the fall of night;
He counted them DER on the bank OF fern,
And all that he said was, "Wa-al-I'll be durn T.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-04

The people will know where to attach
the blame for the failure of the present con-
gress to pass any tariff legislation at this
session. Senator Allison, as spokesman for
the Republican party, says none will be
permitted by the Senate. The tariff bills
will not even be reported in the Senate for
fear OF embarrassing some republican sena-
tors from the west. Next November the
people will have an opportunity to say
whether or not they will suffer the personal
ambitions Of half dozen politicians to stand
between them aud cheap clothing and other
cheap necessaries of life which the demo-
Gratis have endeavored to give them.