Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1892-01-08
A TALE OF BURGLARY.

l am the secretary of the Anti-Burg-
lar Security association. The society
has been running some three years
now. and it was very uphill work.
But it has | am happy TO say.
turned out a trem sndous success. My
poster did Tiny artful poster. On
my poster n gentleman and his wife
wero discovered" In bed smiling
blandly; there was masked burglar
OF ferocious aspect. presenting a re-
volvcr at them. Beneath was the fol-
lowing legend: Burglar 'Good-even-
ing; have you used Blanks soapp" Mr..
Careful No, sir; we have not; but
being insured in the Anti Burglar Se-
curly association. we must request
that you will effect your purpose quiz
city and not disturb our peaceful
slumbcrs-" That poster did it; but
worked like horse. Whenever a
robbery took place. l Or my canvassers
called on the neighborhood in detail,
making what is termed house-to-
house visitation. We invariably
reaped largo haryest of insurers. l
believe that in time. bolts and door
chains will become q perfect drug in
the market When l asked my friend
Tom Shiftless to insure, he laughed.
Nobody would think of burgling
our little place, Dolly" he said why,
we've only got hundred pounds
worth Of valuables at Arabella Villa
There's Aunt James teapot there's my
wife's christening mug. and the whole
of our plate and jcwelry might make
up the amount It's hardly worth in
sur.ng."
''Woll. it's only six shillings. Tom"
l said. '1nsIre yourself for hun
dred; it can't do you any harm. and
every fresh namo is OF vital import
ance to mo"
II wouldn't lose Aunt James teapot
Tom. for worlds" burst in his wife.
Women are so absurd; they think If
they insure their lives that people live
longer; they think that people who in
sure their property never have fire.
or course we talked Tom over between
US
Il do it," said he. Just to oblige
you, because you're my chum. Dolly"
Tom = replied. with a chuckle
Il hope for your sake that you'll be
burgled within tho week; we are most
liberal in our settlements
Then we all three laughed and little
Mrs. Shiftless declared that If she saw
burglar she thought she would die
of fright. had final cup of tea out
OF Aunt James teapot and took my
leave.
Some six months afterwari my dear
old friend Tom Shiftless called at our
offices to see Inc. kept him waiting
outside good while to impress him
with my new fledged dignity. When
he entered my sanctum | indicated a
char and went on writing for full two
minutes. letting him see what u busy
follow l was.
Now. old man" said. briskly,
putting down my pen. what can | do
for you? Tom. be brief and as concise
as you can. for my time is. as you
know. the property of the Anti-Bur-
glary association"
Can you lend me fifty pounds,
Dollyp" he said; Il can't be more
brief than that"
Such ere the penalties OF greatness.
In the oli days he would never have
thought Of asking for more than five.
Tom said little solemnly, as
Stunning my director-of-the Bank Of
England manner, Il am deeply
grievod. Had you called but half an
hour ago, | could have obliged you.
The very sum you mention have just
advanced to an impecunious friend.
Fifty pounds I devote annually to the
cause OF friendship and of charity. but
| am man of rule, Tom; limit my
self ut fifty pounds When my friend
returns it, it is very much at your
service Till then. my dear fellow,
regret tn at I can not help you" Then
began to wash my hands in tho air
a. | have seen the hard hearted mil
lionaire do upon the stage.
What on earth am | to dop" said
poor Tom. "We owe half-a years
rent, tho butcher won't give us any
more credit and things are very bad
with u.s. y
| changed the subject and tried
10 cheer him with soft words, u dry
biscuit ard glass OF sccretarial sher-
ry He had second glass. and the
poor fellow went away. smiling. As
soon as he left the room, | touched
my electric bell. A clerk appeared
Should that gentleman call again"
| said, 'you can tell him have gone
away on business"
1t was Just week from that that a
claim for indemnity was laid upon my
office table. II ran as follows:
70 tie Anti Burglar Security Association:
GENTLEMEN: Il regret to inform you
that my house was entered last night by
an armed burglar. He has stripped the
place OF valuabies, of which send you an
approximate list There may be possible
additions; but my wife has been too much
frightened 10 assist me in making the In
ventory One silver teapot, e23 los. one
silver christening mug, IS 5s. twelve sill
YER tea spoons, Ej.
And SO on and so on. the total coming
% tho sum OF f75 lis. Id. The letter
,~a3 dated from Arabella Villa. and 1t
was signed Thomas Shiftless.
flew 10 Arabella Villa In cab.
There was lite crowd outside the
ioor three plain clothes officers were
10 viewing the general servant In
g kitchen; and the chief informed
II. that an entry had been effected by
n scullery window. and that from
'orna ion resolved" he had no
naht whu, YER thu. that eminent
,ciuman NJ Robert SmoachsS had
~ ,hs uics.