Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1892-07-07

Hant,c strides IN the art OF learning
how to annihilate the Irishman. Ger
many is making pop guns. Russia is
teaching scr millions 70 live ON wind
Padding. France in the Urt of G.uc-
ing, an, lighting sham duels, while
America is doing nothing but build
ing red school houses, teaching her
boys to whistle Yankee Doodle, swear
at the monopollsts, and vote AZ they
damn please, The result is we have
got neither army nor navy. The land
the old boys fought for, has been ped
died out to the offspring of those
the old boys won it from, and lot of
Oagoes, swarmlng all over the land,
that haven't the intelligence of side
OF sole leather or the patriotism Of a
Nevada ground hog.
Some of the towns that made a
good start at first, are being depopu-
lated by all except Chinese, Italians
and Greeks, and are immigratlng 10
Carlin, which is the only city left of
importance in the country and which
contains population OF 15O,OU0,Ooo,
more or less, mostly less. New York,
which was quite a town has been de-
Voured by tigers; Chicago has been
washed into a lake; New Orleans
covered by ten feet of water, and
Boston blown out Of existence. Some
few white men are left 10 New York,
Chicago, Minneapolis and San Fran
cisco. But they are ell crazy over an
old woman called Polly Ticks. and are
running around day and night yell
ing like hyenas creased with turpeu-
tine. One fellow yells Blaine, Blaine,
and another Do-Pee, Do-Pee, and it
has become a question OF National
Importance whether the whole lot,
men, women and children, are not
affected with cholera morbus. Con-
gress has Sust appropriated thirty
seven and half cents to defray ex-
penses, and . commission has been
appointed, consisting OF DR.. Mary
Walker, Grover Cleveland and Ike
Ostraicher, to investigate the whole
subject and mako a report Immediate
ay after the railroad 10 completed up
Maggie Creek to Idaho. Since the
little racket we had among ourselves
about dividing up the house into pea
nut stands and stalls for the sale OF
old junk, and trading the old flag for
Rridiron, we can't get up a fight or
a foot race. But just now there is
some good running being done; about
half OF all hands are running for Of
foe. The other half are running
after women, and the balance are
running at the nose. About the
srnartest one among the crowd 10 q
fellow by the name of Blaine, and he
isn't smart enough to know when to
commence running, or when to quit.
There is some growing among the
boys, about a few old stiffs locating a
few million acres Of land, claiming
they want to keep it for their boys
and girls, just as il the children
couldn't travel up and down the rail.
roads, beg O little cold hash when they
get hungry, aud let Gould, Wander
bilt d co. peddle the land to Chinese
and Italians, who can work cheaper
aud live on less grub, than ever they
dared to. Besides they are all
wealthy, make good citizens, and send
their money all out OF the country
where it belongs. Another lot OF
ignorsmuses are stirring up terrible
rumpus about the price of silver, and
frightening the other fellows who
gobbIed up little gold until they
are frothing at the mouth, and coax
ing the fellows across the pond to
stand In and help save them from q
lot OF greedy farmers, mechanics and
miners who won't be contented with
out three square meals u day, md
enough to pay the preacher and
schoolmaster. But that. is all fixed