Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-08-26
PITH AND POINT.

~ JOuuSS uuNcIliSeS QcSlEC lOt
a wife, "Pretty aud entirely ignorant of
the fact. It'd Bits.
"Bloggs has wonderful ability for
keeping out of trouble" Good
natured2" "No; Splinter. Washing
ton Star.
There's an enduring sympathy between
the small boy and the growing weeds.
He has no desire to hurt them in tho
least.-Columbus Post.
ProfessoI--"To what does the poet
Klopstock owe his fame2 Stidcnts-
"To the fact that nobody ever reads
him. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
The saddest, wearest, sorriest ti,no
That ever springs beneath the sun
And puts all tempsrs out o: chime
Comes when holiday is done
Washington Star.
Edna-"There's Flora Hardup wearing
her last summers hat with new trimming
on it." Myrtlc-."Yes, | recognize it,
it's the chip oil the old block. "-Klng's
Jester.
Husband say you've had that
bonnet six months. Why, I've never
seen it before" Wife-"I know it. L
only wear it to church New York
Herald
He-"Have you hearda' She
"WhatY" He-"AIiss Spinster is going
to be married" She-"Oh, yes, I've
heard that ever since l can remember"
-Pick-Me-Up.
Old Grumpley-".rhe younger gcnra-
ton in this country is shameless, mex
prossibly wicked" Young Roundly-
Eyes. The effects of hcredity are terri.
BILE. New York Herald.
"What was all that row in your place
this morning, Bagley7 Was your house
on fret" "ThatG Oh, no; that was
only wife and trying to get our johnny
out of bed. boston Post.
Penelope-.'Why do you say Charles
Nixen is like spy glass2" Perdita-
because I can draw him out, see right
through him, aud when am tired of him
shut him up. "-Brooklyn Life.
Architect-"Mrs. Trotter has given
me instructions regarding the principal
rooms. Have you any thing to sug
gestw Trotter-"Yes; be sure to see
that the stairs don't creak. st. Louis
Republic.
Uncle Andre Ito his nephew -"You
should always be modest, my child"
Nephew-"I hav. thought that matter
over, uncle. There is just one objection
to modesty-people are apt to take you
at your own valuation. "-Figero.
Summer was late this year, but it came
at last. A dealer in house Tue! not hav-
ing been able to clear out his stock,
posted on his door the following notite:
"Good fire. wood for the summer season,
giving out very little heat. "-lntransi.
geant Illustre.
Visitor-"That is very intelligent
looking man; isn't his insanity doubtful"
Asylum Attendant-"Oh, no; his case
is hopeless. His hobby is ii patent Their
mometer that will agree with the Gov
eminent weather forecasts. kate
Fields Washington.
Smith-'I was sorry to hear, Brown,
that you have failed in business" Brown
-"Yes, struggled hard, but lost
everything, save my honor, and the
property | was wise enough to settle on
my wife when found myself getting
into trouble. Texas Siftings.
Tommy Fauntleroy (witn scorn)-
"Ah, ha, you amt seen the circus n I
have" Willie Jonesy-" That's all right.
amt been to the circus, but I'm gon'
to hide in yer wocdshed wen yer pa
finds out about them windy panes yusc
bruck. "-Chicago News aecord.
whats the trouble between you and
Widgelya You were friends while you
lived in the CITY," 'Yes, but you see
we bought adjoining property In the
suburbs" "What of that?" "Why,
he's crank on fine poultry and I'm
growing garden. "-Chica % News
Record.
Shortly before his elevation to the
bench, II certain Judge entered Con-
tinental hosel, and asked who was stay
ing there. Among Others the "Duke of
Blank" was mentioned He slipped
sovereign into the hand of the head
waiter, and whispered: "Put me at the
table next to the Duke of BLANC" In
the evening he found that he was placed
at the other end of the room from the
Duke, and called the head waiter to cx-
plain. "Well, sir" replied the official,
"the fact is that the Duke gave me two