davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news., 1892-03-19
BRIGHT BITS,

GwENDoLRE-He loves me for my worth
alone.
Iphigenia-I have no doubt of it. He found
out what you are worth from my brother Tom
Neto York Press.
ANARcH1sr-We expect to argue our cause
Quiet Citizen-A bomb, my friend, Is an
argument that has been exploded long ago
| Chicago Tribune.
FULLcBLowN RosE-What a pity, dear, you
are engaged SO young! You viii never have the
Bud-No; but I've had the fun OF accepting
| one.-F1tnnD Folks.
ETHsI--Do you believe those who say that
| love is q balm that cures all ills?
George-Mebby; but l can't say that take
much stock in the advertsements of the patent
| curealls.-Nelo York Herald.
Tyiglad 1t is Lent. for I'm tired of the rout
or parties, teas luncheons and balls;
Andhubby was getting in love, without doubt,
And I'm no: ready yet for Sioux Falls
-Net0 York Herald
CHAPP1E-About SO often make goose OF
| myself, and then feel like asking some one to
| shoot me.
Jes ie-And no one ever does It? Afraid of
the game laws, suppose-Neto YORK Herald
soFrLE1GH-old Soak says he saw the aurora
boreals last night. thought he was near
| sighted.
Sharpleigh-That accounts for it, The old
| OOy can See UoyOuu MS own uOSo.-heD 1OTk
Tribune.
"PA, what is Lentr' asked the inquiring
child
Lent, my dear" responded the detected
| poultry farmer. lis the season when hens do
not think it is necessary to lay eggs"-Somer-
Uille Journal
YES" said young Rudkins. who sat in calm
disregard of the clock, Il may say that l am a
fixture in our office, now"
II know, Mr.. Rudgkins," she answered
gently, but this isn't your office, you know. :"
| Lansing Ae1cs
| Mrs. PoMPous-I am going to the theater and
| will probably not be home until very late
| New Servant-All right, mum; II am not UP
when yez comes home, what's the matther with
| telling me in the marning all about the play?
| TeTdS Siftin0s
"WHY, Sam Tompkins. said Mrs T.. ''I saw
| you kiss that common looking, horrid chamber
| maidn'
Now don't get angry my dear. It was a
mistake. ] thought she was you. You are as
| alike as two pease. The Epoch.
SNooPER--why are you looking so sad, doc
tori Have you had the misfortune to lose a
! patient?
DIR. Paresis-Yes; unfortunately have com
| pletely cured Mr., Scadds He paid so promptly,
too.-Smtth, GrGy d; Co.'s Weekly.
CALLER-Can you use this story?
| Editor-What's the name of it?
Caller-The Golden Marriage.
| Fditor-We don't use love stories.
| Calier-This isn't love story. She married
him for his money .-Ydlakee Blade.
CoRA-Don't you think that the law prevent
| ing one from marrying his deceased wife's sis
ter was a very foolish one?
Merrtt-On the contrary, I've always consid-
] cred it a wise Que, because there's seldom more
than one pretty girl in family.-Epoch.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
The wonderful Remedy.


straight wisp of faded hair stuck out from
the small coil at the back of her head, says the
Louisville Courier-JouT1GI.
Air you the druggists" she asked.
"I am. madam. he replied.
Keep all the modernest remerdies, s'posey''
Certainly"
Got any O. this yer bichlorate o. goIeg"
we have the bichloride, yes, madam. We
are DR. Keeley's exclusive agents.
Same thing they give to drunkards to break
'em o. drinkin2"
Precisely" p" a
"Does it cure drinkin'f'
Makes a man hate il,
"Wlll it cure f1ts?'
Certainly"
"Cure man o. chawin' terbackers''
our guarantee goes with every bottle. and
there is a hypodermic syringe in every pack
age"
go 'wayr'
"Yes, indeed. This Is a most wonderful dis
covery. There have been thousands of cases-M,
nights?' -ee 'ol
IF it does not, we will cheerfuIly refund the
Jest nacherny breaks man o. every bad
habit he ever hadg"
Madam. the moral renovation experienced
oy patients submitted to this treatment is com
parable only to the absolute publication and re-
juvenation-"
Hold on, mister VIII it cure snoringY"
Snoring, madam. is a concomitant OF drunk
enness' Yes, ma am, it will cure snoring,
swearing, proud flesh, corns---'
I'm onto yer, mister, for one bottle Efitu
cure my old man o. snoring I'll try it myself
for corns"
The morning news., 1892-03-19
settlIne q rroublesome Ma.ter.

Every congress il bothered more or less
by bills authorizing the construction Of pub
lie buildings and making appropriations for
the same. The number of bills Of this kind
introduced each session Is sremarkably large.
Almost every Congressman seems to want a
public building erected somewhere in his
congressional district And the number of
such bills that are passed is astonishingly
large. The supervising architect is unable
/ 70 keep up with them. The bills, as a rule,
are passed by favor. The most meritorious
do not stand the best chance OF becoming
/ laws.
| Senator Vest took this troublesome public
buildings problem in hand some time ago
and prepared q plan for solving it Il is a
very good plsn-so good, in fact. that the
Senate has adopted it, and it is not improb-
able that the House also will recognize it's
merits. II the senator's bill should become
a law personal influence and lobby work
would not be effective in getting through
congress bills for public buildings at this
and that place without reference TO the
question whether the place is entitled 20 q
public building.
Senator Vests bill takes from congress
the privilege Of saying where public bHild-
ings shall be erected or what they hall cost,
and places the whole matter In the hands
of the Secretary of the Treasury, Secretary
Of the Interior and the Postmaster General.
Under tine direction Of the Secretary Of the
Treasury the supervising architect will pre-
pare plans for postofflce buildings. These
plans will be so drawn that the buildings
constructed In accordance with them can
be enlarged without destroying their archi-
tectural beauty.
1t is provided, of course. that no public
building shall be erected in any town in
which the postofice receipts do not reach a
certain amount annually. and the amount
which buildings are to cost Is to be de-
termined by the amount OF the postoffice
receipts in the towns for which they are in
tended. When the Postmaster General
thinks a town should have a new public
building he notifies the Secretary OF the
Treasury aud the Secretary of the Interior,
and the three secretaries determine whether
or not 1t shall have public building. The
postoffice receipts of the town determine, of
course, the kind OF building that shall be
erected.
The foregoing is only a bare outline Of
Senator Vests plan, but it is sufficient to
enable one to see that it offers way to set
tie satisfactorily a very troublesome mat
ter
The morning news., 1892-03-19
Playwrisht and typewriter.


OF all girls the most amusing. at least to the
casual observer, is typewriter TO whom a
playwright is debating play. I had fun OF
that kind yesterday, says a writer in the Wash
ington star
''If you speak during that period the author
"a period after that:'' the typewriter inter
NO, no-ths word period I will kill
edy?"
Yes. 'Maud-spare me-spare me-"
You must not call me Maud"
No, no; the character speaks Maud Is the
girl in the play, you know. Where was If''
You were at spare me- D."
Goes down on bis knees in brackets"
ION bis knees
lam writing this comedy. miss. Knees, In
brackets"
Yes. What's he got his knees In brackets
fort Broken, suppose -
What are you doing? Let me see. No, no,
no. Put tnat sentence in brackets. Enter serv.
ant. Servant-Never have seen nothing like
that be"
Anything. of COURSE
Il am writing this piece"
That's bad grammar, you know"
Yes, know-I know Put down Just what
say. Maud-Look at"
Sir! o. forgot Yes. Look at"
IN brackets. George looks at servant and
"Period!"
''No And shakes his head"
Who shakes his head-George or the serv-
"George-I said George"
hei" 'O' O'00-
Author dies.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
A Sensational Storr.

There may be some truth IN the New
! York Telegrdm's story that Mr.. Cleveland
wrote a letter re- declaring that be
had not sought the ..aation Of bis party
for President. did BE-. want it and would
not accept It if offered to him. but the
probabilities are that it has
very little. if any, foundation.
II be had intended publishing
any such letter he would not have consented
TO suppress it at the request OF one or two
I friends. Ii may he that he is annoyed
] some what by misrepresentation relative u
his acts ana intentions. but they can hardly
| trouble him much. He has been a conspic-
uous figure in public life long enough to be
Indifferent to them. Much more unpleas-
ant things were said of hum the first time
he was a candidate for the presidency than
are being said now. 1t can hardly be that
he is becoming more sensitive as be grows
older.
But his letter to Gen. Bragg, OF Wiscon-
sin. in which be virtually announces that il
the nomination is offered him he will ec-
cept 1t. is satisfactory evidence that he
has not at any time seriously entertained
the idea Of announcing that he would not
accept it under any circumstances If he
ever wrote such letter as the New York
Telegram speaks Of. he must have changed
his mind relative TO the nomination very
quickly.
1t looks very much as IL Mr.. Cleveland
has been expecting for long time that the
nomination would be offered to him. All
of his speeches and letters, since he has been
out of the presidential office. have been Of q
character to keep him prominently before
the public. And until within the last few
months there was very little doubt that he
would be the stsndard-bearer of the party
in 1892.
The political situation was changed some
what. however, when Senator Hill sue
ceeded in getting the New York delegation.
1t became apparent at once that Mr.. Cleve-
lands chances for the nomination were not
as good as they had been. He sees. and bis
friends, see that it will be difficult thing
for hun to get the nomination without the
state Of New York. This condition OF
affairs may have had de-
pressing effect upon Mr.. Cleveland,
but it is doubtful if at any
time it made him so despondent that he
wanted to get out Of politics altogether.
While it is true that there is Il growing
impression that neither he nor Senator Hill
will be nominated, because of the belief that
neither can carry New York, owing to the
factional fight there, still there is
strong impression that he will be
the choice Of the national convention. He
has a better chance at the present time for
getting the nomination than any other cans
didate. and his friends would be greatly
disappointed in him If they thought he con-
tsmplated following the example of Mr..
Blaine py writing a letter declining to be a
presidential candidate under any circum-
atanpeg
The morning news., 1892-03-19
FLAvoRING EXTRACTS.
The Universal Report
from Every Section.

A letter just received from
a St. Paul merchant says {:
"The sales of DIR. Prices
Delicious Flavoring Ex-
tracts have doubled within
the past three months, and
the demand is constantly in
creasing." This is account
ed for by the fact that DR..
Prices fiavors are just as
Representatives, from poi
sonous oils and ethers, are
true to nature, made from
the finest fruits, of delicate
taste, and of the greatest
strength attainable. The
housewife who uses them
once will never purchase the
cheap substitutes.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Senator PETER has an idea that It is pos
sible to legislate honesty and virtue into
people. and is continually taking up the
time Of the Senate in introducing some
nonsensical measure. His latest freak is a
bill to remove the strongest incentive to
crime among the poor and vice among the
rich, and for the protection of Americans
from the undue influence of alien labor. "
This he would accomplish by graduated
tax on incomes and real estate!
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The Vanderbilts may build IS. oOo, 900 pal
aces in New York if they please, and Car
negie may lease castle in Scotland, but
none OF them will get ahead of Jay Gould.
He is going to dwell in the halls of the
Montezumas," which is more ''toney" than
anything yet thought Of by any of the
others of the fraternity Of millionaires. 1t
is rumored ION authority" that his trip to
Mexico is for the purpose of purchasing the
famous Chapultepec castle, for which he has
offered 81, 7,0O0, 900.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
The Reciprocitv CLAUSE.

Il looks as If the reciprocity feature OF the
Mckinley tariff would become the subject
of a contest in the courts. An erroneous
impression prevails that it has already been
declared to be valid by the United States
supreme court. The validity of the McKin>
ley act was questioned because Of the res
| ciprocity feature Of it. aud the act was de-
clared to be valid. But may not the re-
ciprocity feature Of the act be invalid. even
If the act itself is validl
The President, by authority OF the
reciprocity clause of the Mckinley act, has
reimposed duties on certain imports from
Venezuela. Hsyti and Colombia. IL is
evident that the business of merchants
Of this country who have trade relations
with those countries will be greatly in
terfered with, if not seriously crippled. II
there is any doubt about the validity of the
reciprocity clause they will be very prompt
to have the clause passed upon by the
courts.
Thursday Representative Turner, Of this
state, speaking of the probability of an
effort being made to declare the reciprocity
clause invalid, said: "The question pre-,
sented would be very different from that
recently decided by the supreme court. A
decision could be obtained directly upon
the question of the right of congress to det-
egate its treaty-naking power to the
| President"
The reciprocity clause of the Mckinley
tariff has not been generally accepted. There
is a feeling that it is not constitutional. 1t
certainly gives the President degree OF
power that it was never before thought
would be exercised by executive authority.
In our dispatches yesterday it was stated
that the President had ordered the custom
house officers at New York not to collect
the duties he had imposed upon GER
tain imports from the foregoing
countries until instructed to do so. No
reason for this order is given. The public
is left to wonder whether the President
thinks mistake was made in clothing him
with SO much power, or whether some de-
tails connected with the enforcement of the
reciprocity clause are not yet completed.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
A Fable.

On flames eternal camping-Eround. says the
Chicago Tribune, the silent tents we're spread
when Big Black Blot, very ragged about the
edges, came sneaking in over the picket line
and has hailed by Thin Transparent Fraud
"Who are your" cried the Fraud, You look
like q dishonorable discharge -
Il am Alger's war record, and he's all right. IS
returned the Big Black Blot But who are you :
You're 50 small, so thin. so impalpable that I
can hardly believe you exist"
I'm Ingalls, war record" replied the Thin
Transparent Fraud proudly, and the two locked
arms and took the place of honor in the G. A.
r. encampment.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The Illinois girl of the period is "up to" all
Of the tricks of leap year. A few days ago a
Peru girl popped the question" to her best
fellow something like this: "Say; would
you rather go to Jail for obtaining goods
under false pretenses. or marry me? You
can take your choice" The young woman
had given her spark" an engagement ring
which he tried to give to another girl. rhe
young man didn't go to Jail.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Why any member of the New York
legislature should desire to have law
enacted forbidding cremation is one of those
thiugsfor which there seems to be no reas on.
the adjacent cities are increasing there will
soon be no place within many miles of New
York suitable for a cemetery. And, be-
sides. the practice OF cremating the dead is
not increasing. 1t probably will, however,
IL not forbidden.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Hassan Ben Ali, the Moorish chief, of
C icago, who is in Turkey collecting ex-
hibits for the fair, set a photograph to work
before the sultan the other day. 1t grou nd
out "Yankee Doodle" and the potentate
was so overcome with fear and admiration
that he STOOD aud delivered" all the
Chicagoau demanded. which was an escort
for his expedition. The next African ex-
plorer may profit by this incident, take
along phonograph and return laden with
honors and requisites.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Some Michigan society girls have engaged
in a novel contest to raise money for a
charitable fund. Some Of them, in trying
20 'ont do" the others. have put on old
clothes and stood on the street corners
grinding a hand organ. singing "Annie
Rooney" Others have been engaged in
boot blacking on the sidewalks. II the
mothers Of those girls we're 70 require them
10 polish the kitchen s.oye or grind the
weeks supply Of coffee. every daughter Of
them would 60 into rapid decline or slope
With the coachmaB because Of hard treat
naspt u home.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The Washington correspondent of the
Pittsburg Dispatch alleges that President
Harrison is ''shaky" on the question of
signing free coinage bill If one should be
passed by congress. 1t is said be relies on
the Senate to extricate him froln what he
considers an unpleasant a1te-election di-
Iemma. If the correspondents estimate is
correct an interesting state of affairs exists
in Washington. Heretofore it has been
understood that the President was a rock
ribbed and iron-bound anti-free coinage
man, and he didn't care who knew it. II
be weakens now it will be understood az an
attempt 20 coddle the western silver pro-
duclng states.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Speculation on the why and wherefore of
Mr.. Jay Gould's visit to Mexico is the
special order to be considered until dis
posed of. Possibly he has an eye ON the
intercontinental railroad scheme to con-
meet the two Americas, with view to COB
bling it. The road is "only on paper, as
yet" but that makes no difference to a
speculator.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
Just Be Glad.

james Whfcomb Riley.
o, heart of mine we shouldn't
Worry sol
What we've missed of calm we couldn't
Have you know
What we've met of stormy pain,
And OF sorrow driving rain,
We can better meet again,
II it blow.
We have erred in that dark hour.
We have known.
When the tears fell with the shower.
All alone
We're not shine and summer blent
AS the gracious master meant?
Let us temper our content
With his own.
For, we know, not every morrow
Can be said;
So, forgetting all the sorrow
We have had,
Let us fold away our fears,
And put by our foolish tears,
And through all the coming years
Just be glad.
The morning news., 1892-03-19


The MoRNING NEws is published every day IN
the wear and is served to subscribers IN the
cary at 81 20 s month, s % for six months and
$40 % for one year.
The MORNING Ekws. By mail, one month,
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The MoRN1Ne NEvs. by mai, six times : week
without sunday issue. three months, g w.
six months. 81 90; one year, - 90
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays. Thurs
days and Saturdays. three months, - % SIX
months, 81 so; one year, %.
The SUNDAY NEWS. by udli, one year, g "
The WEEKLY NEWS. by mad. one year. ~ .
Subscriptions payable 10 advance Remit oy
postal order check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mail at risk OF seodeTs.
Letters and kilograms should De SdoTessou
stMoRNING NEWS, - Savannah, Gs-
Transient advertisements. other than special
column, loca or reading notices aInuSetnsn.s ,,L
and cheap or want coiumn. lO oSnts hne-
Fourteen lines Of agate type-equd 10 one
inch space in depths the standard OF meas
uremenL Contract rates and discounts MADE
known on application at business ofrice-
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The United States and Italy are about to
resume diplomatic intercourse. Fava will
probably return to Washington, and Porter
goes back to Rome. The New Orleans "in
cldent" has not been settled yet, but Italy
has had time to cool OF and see how foolish
it was to demand what could not 'be had
with or without force.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
Tammanv BON Coz Pleased.

From The Philadelphia Ledger Qnd.)
II Is reported that the Tammany Hall people
disapproye OF Senator Hill's southern trip, fear
lg lest he give himself away In his speeches.
II, however. his utterances are all OF d similar
Character 10 the one delivered the other day.
they need have no fear on that score. as no one
has bean abe, apparently, 70 ASCERTAIN that at
that time he committed himself 70 anything In
Particular
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Chairman Clarkson Of the republican ma
tional committee is reported as saying that
there is strong undertone or popular move
ment for Uncle Jerry Rusk for President.
That sort of talk from such prominent
republican leader is calculated to make
Uncle Jerry launch presidential boom nt
opra
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the following
places. where Advertising Rates and other In
formation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
J. ID. BATES, IS Park Row.
@, P, ROwEIL Z Co, 10 Spruce street.
W. W. SHARP & Co. q Park Row
TRAaE KIERNAN 6 Co.. 1872 Broadway.
DAUoHY & Co, n Park Place.
J. W. THOMPSON, so Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBIIsHER's g ASSOCIATION,
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
n. W. AVER & Son, Times Building.
BOSTON
g. f. NILES. 256 Washington street.
PKTTESGILL & Co., 10 State street
CHICAGO
Loan & THOMAS, Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
EpwIN ALDEN COMPANY, 66 West Fourth street
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ATLANTA
MoRNING News BUREAU, 81 whitehall street.
ST AUGUSTINE
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The morning news., 1892-03-19

With ruby-set hammer, and mounted
on a ladder built Of precious metals and
gems. Mrs. Potter Palmer will drive a
golden nail in the woman's building at the
worlds fair, Chicago, to denote its comple-
tIon. To secure an interesting exhibit at the
same time, Mrs. Palmer might nail to the
wall that yarn about the Chicago girls
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Edmund Yates, the well-known London
correspondent, attributes the recent
vsgAries Of the German emperor TO a recur-
rence cf his ear trouble, which he says has
caused the kaiser much suffering Of late.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Ex-Mayor Wickhani. of New York, is the
defendant in suls brought by his barber to
recover payment for seventeen months
shaving at 81 so per moath. The court
may be depended upon to temper the winds
20 the shorn whiskers.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The Albany (Ga.) Herald says the people
of the country are "getting tired of so much
rot, yclept newspaper scoops, about the
Richmond and Dsnville. the Terminal sys-
ana the Central railroad. Every day
ngs forth an entirely new deal-on
The morning news., 1892-03-19
INDEX TO NEW ADVgRTISEMENTS.

MEETINGS Savannah Soap Works.
SPECIAL NOTICES Neckwear. Falk Clothing
Company: Copartnership Notice, Foys & Morri-
son; Some hing Nice at J. J. Joyce's; Ar
naud's Bonbons. Livingston's Pharmacy; Loan
on Bottomry and Respondentia. Geo. Harriss &
Co; gents Argentine Bark Bolarmina.
DON'T PRocRAsTISATE-Collats.
SPaISG HATs-Falk Clothing Company.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Enjoyment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost: Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news., 1892-03-19
Grover Cleveland's Letter.

From the Rochester IN. " Herald (Ild.).
Mr. Cleveland. in the course OF his letter, ex-
considerations to the wishes Of his party IL the
latter should desire him TO lead IL in the ap-
DroschinR campaign. He is therefore TO be re-
garded as regularly in the tisld for the nomina-
The morning news., 1892-03-19

Congressman Bslden, OF New York, Is au.
thority for the statement that the only man
IN Washington who desires 10 soc Hin noml-
mated Is Benjamin Harrison.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

The bill to transfer the revenue marine to
the navy department. after travelling in a
circle for year, has eventually got around 10
the point it had reached when the Fifty first
congress adjourned. The Senate committee
will report in favor of the change, and Sena-
tor Gray says the bill will pass.
The morning news., 1892-03-19

A feature of the Hibernian dinner was
the admirAbIa manner in which President
Meldrim introduced those who responded
70 the toasts. His introductions were little
gems in their way.