The record-union., 1892-07-14
Say, please gimme the money an, let

''Say, please gimme the money an let
me go.'
Pm not keeping you"
.'8ut, the money"
'What money?
1.-The road poll-taX."
What is it for ?'
"What?"
''The money"
Il used 10 know, but I fergit now."
Look here. young man; suppose Pve
already paid my tax?"
ceipt."
DO you think 1 carry my tax re-
celpts, my marriage certificate and my
letters OF recommendation from the
Stockton Insane Asylum with me when
pm in this shaft ?'
Are you-er-Oh-are you crazy?"
Crazy as loon. Get wild sometimes
and Kill people. Nearly always get that
way when I'm bilious"
Il don't believe it. You're just foolin'
me-"
But didn't ask you what you would
DO II have paid my tax?"
Swear what?"
That you've paid 'em."
"Oh, see. Well, ,---n
NO, no! That amt the way to swear"
Look here, young man! i've been an
editor once or twice i'll my life, and L
guess know how to swear. At any
rate, don't want any jay collector to
more where's yoG7' authority? How do l
know your genuine collectors"
by, I've got receipt book here!''
And I've got an old receipt book in
my shanty that I used to carry when /
was editor of the Golden State, and there
isn't single stub in it that was ever
filled out. Let's swap books"
oh, let's quit this foolin' You gimme
three dollars, or show your receipt, or
swear. don't want to stay in this
bloody hole no more.'
But want your authority-I want to
know whether you have right to COL
lect tax. VIII you swear that you are a
real, genuine tax-collector, fully vested
with the power, ETC., as by law provided,
most solemnly swear that you do most
solemnly swear?n
Yes, yes; Pll swear!'
AL right. Now, then, you repeat
what L say: l do most solemnly swear
that L have been duly authorized to COL
lect tax known as the county road poll
tax, in and for the county of Nevada,
State of California, and that l will report
correctly the amounts collected, and will
not dispose Of more than one receipt to
any one man, nor give or lend receipts,
nor exchange them for -four bacon or
underwear, nor will / in any way use
them otherwise than as provided by law:
and, furthermore, and in addition to the
foregoing oath, l solemnly swear that /
Will not use the money by me collected
as collateral WhereWith to buy beer on
the Fourth OF July, nor to purchase
tickets for the Worlds Fair, nor to aid in
the institution Of a revolution in Peru
Chile or Brazil, nor to foster and promote
treason, arson or the Democratic party,
nor to invest the same in any way what
soever, wheresoever and whensoever, ex-
cept as provided by law. And l also
affirm that am not such a simple fool as
l look"
The young man swOre as directed, and
when the oath was finished swore with
out being directed. I then gave him the
So ne SO coveted, and he went his way in
peace, leaving receipt and his pencil in
my hand. l think l am the only man
who ever ''swore' a tax collector
l do not like to have people come to the
mouth of the shaft when | am working.
and lie down on the loose dirt above and
hang their heads over the edge and talk
Every day or so somebody does it, and
the powder smoke that hangs in the shaft
makes them sneeZe. The thought that
some blamed idiot may snap his head off
d
sodden glug onto my neck is not pleas
ant. 1t makes mo nervous at times. But
that is a thing these simple-hearted
mountain folk do not know until they
have, as the saying is, done gone and
done it. One man who talked TO me in
this way had been aprospector, once upon
time, and gave me much valuable in
formation. Among other things he said,
in slow and impressive way:
" ThiS-here-nO Ole-iS-a-prettv-d
hole. It-makes-me- -think-of-a-
hole-that - I-dug-onct. The-sides-
KEEP -a-slidin' = in = and - the bot
tom = KEEP = a swellin' up, - and -
the-neXt- day-w' there
again-to-fnish-it- that there-hole-
was-a-stickin'- -clear-out of the -
ground"
Another man who happened along
wanted to know whether l was digging
for water or hunting for a socket.
IF you're digging for water" he said,
''you won't find it, and if you're huntin'
for a socket you won't find that neither.
Sockets is mighty blame scarce around
here. There was teller found one at
Rough and Ready onct, with six bits in
it. 1t wasn't very good day for sockets.
l guess"
Some men would be too high-toned to
do their assessment work with their own
hands, but | am not. / was once, and /
ulr6O a Lldn 10 uulSQ q tunnel. lt WASN'T
n very big tunnel, and he agreed to finish
it for his board and clothes and tobacco.
He began work at in the forenoon, and
at in the afternoon he came to me and
said:
well, Soap. I've finished that one
| Got any more?" | went out to see. and
| 10! the honest man had dug the tun-
mel to fine point, like the sharp END
of a pencil. 1t was a good lesson, and
now 1 prefer to finish my own great
| works. l get along quite well with my
self, and we seldom quarrel with each
other. believe that habit of pickering
and squabbling is most pernicious, and
| in many cases leads on to divorce.
| l am batching here, and will write you
| ever and anon henceforth, giving you a
clear and comprehensive account of the
progress made at the mine, with such
| other matters as may please and instruc
! the readers Of the RECORD UNION.
must quit now and pick over a mess o
| beans Tor supper. A. V. HOFFMAN.
Hardscrabble Ranch, July 6, 1892.
Articles of INCORPORATION,