Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-07-28
short Bits OF Fun.

short hits or Fun.
SHE-"Who uses allsthe SNUFF that
Is manufactured?" He-@No one
Bose."-Pharmaceutical Era
LITTLE VIcToR-"Mamma, my
hands are dirty, shall Iwash them or
put on gloves?"-Le Figaro.
You can never estimate the size OF
the sore on a boys finger by the
amount Of rags he ties around it,
Atchisou Globe. ~ ~.
CoBwIGGER=aBrown doesn't talk
any more about the big fish he brings
home" Merritt-"His wife has
bought a pair of kitchen scales. -
New York Sun. 49,.
CUPID is getting bow and arrows
ready for the season. A PECULIARLY
of his shooting is that the more Mrs.
he makes the better the girls are
pleased. Philadelphia Times.
"Do YOU know Widdikens' widow?"
ooh, yes" Il hear she's going to
contest the old mans will" Il don't
wonder at all. She always did when
he was aAive!"-Chicago News.
BELATED student - Shee here,
Waterman (hic), can't open thish
door. Watchman-Perhaps you will
succeed better If you will try key
instead Of that Observation-Disclosures
| Blaetter.
SURFACE = Isn't Bighed rather
young to be a cynic? Rowley-O, no!
He has been graduated year and the
world hasn't recognized him yet
New York Herald.
JARvIs-Why do they speak Of
"the woody West?" Travers-Prob-
ably because everybody who goes
out there gets fieeced. New YORK
Herald.
THEY say that rabbit hunters are
very partial to hare-triggers. =
Rochester Post.
MRS. ToPFLAT-Bridget, where did
you get the dreadful black eye?
Bridget-Me brother gave it to me,
mum, and what'll the neighbors say,
mum? Me with an eye loike that and
40 Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
WHAT 1 value most is my peace
Of mind" That's strange, too.
You've such a small piece. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
If the, telephone girl has a soft
voice it is next to impossible for the
man at the other end Of the wire to
believe that she isn't pretty. -Somer-
vile Journal.
JoHNNY-"WSho is it that's in the
key-hole)-"I think its the college
professor. Mammals voice has got
its Boston stop pulled wide OPEN
Chicago Tribune.
THEY WERE JUST ENGAGED.-"We
had better be married Tomorrow"
said he. $50 soon?" "M'hm, Your
father and 1 differ in politics, and
there is no telling how soon we may
be deadly enemies. - indianapolis
Journal.
This is the first poem / ever
wrote, SIR" said the caller, handing
manuscript TO the editor. %rhen
could not for moment think OF TAX
ing it from you," replied the generous
editor, handing it back. Brooklyn
Life.
How TO get rid of surplus milk
cheese it.-HazletOn Sentinel
It's the shoe man who enjoys meet
ing people who put their foot in it.
Inter Ocean.
THE Pennsylvania woman whogave
costly funeral to her pet mastiff the
other day comes under the exact
definition Of dog gone idiot.-Bos-
ton Pilot.
A BILL to regulate the working
hours of hand-organ grinders would
do good.-Picayune.
DAM it as much as you please,
water always does its level BEST
New Orleans Picayune.
NOTHING is so fortunately built az
a fly. 1t can stand on one leg and
scratch itself anywhere with five legs
at once. -Atchison Globe.
THERE is a sign on the entrance to
cemetery at North Wales, Mont
gomery County, which reads: INC
admittance except on business. -
Philadelphia Record.
MAMMA, asked Ethel, suppose we
hadn't won in our fight for depend
ence in 1875, would Queen Victoria
De PRESIDENT or the United States
now?".Harper's Bazaar.
WHAT! Do you dine in that
fourth-rate placer" "Only when l
am not hungry. What is the use OF
wasting good food on poor appe-
tite?"-Indianapolis Journal.
RowLEY-The sea air is very brac-
ing. Surface-Yes; but how can
man benefit by it when seaside hotel
prices cause nervous prostration?-
New York Herald.
WHAT is the name of that lady
who sneezes so much?" he asked. II
don't know" replied his sister; "she
seems very intense" Il should say
she was intense; she's grass widow
with the hay fever" Washington
Star.