The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-11-17

"Well, Mr.. Bronson" said a dominic,
4 hope you derived profit from the
services this morning. "Sir." re-
turned Bronson, inclinin2 to be indig-
nant. Il assure YOU | drop business on
a Sunday and attend church with no
hope Of profit. ."-TIt-Bits.
Mr.. Emerson Bcan-"O. yes. I've
written poetry, of course. but | neveI
have tried to have any ofit published"
Miss Waldonia Hubb - Now. why
don't YOU send it to some Of the maya
zines? I've seen some frightful stuf!
Ill them lately."-JeStcr.
"Your husband swore off smoking at
the beginning of the year, | believer"
HYes, it was awfully good OF him. And
had just brought him a box of cigars
as present, too" "Indeed?" Yes,
and he only smoked one and then
swore off. N. 7. Press.
Old Frierd--"Iiow did YOU and your
wife come to remarry after SO many
years of separation?' jimson--"Well,
YOU see. in the cross suits for divorce
she made me out so bad. and | madq
her out so bad, that there wouldn't
anybody else have either OF u.s.
Broohiyp LIFE.
Husband-"Are YOU going to Miss
Twickenham's tea?" Wife - No, ]
haven't anything to- wear" Husband
-"Why don't you wear the same gown
you did at the last tea she gave?" Wife
! have too much respect for YOU.
People would say you were running
down hill."-C5Oak ReCicw.
May tons OF bcesWaX are imported
to New York from tropical and sub
tropical parts of this continent and
from Spain. 1t is used in the manu-
facture of lay figures for muse6ms,
milliners and mantua makers, and
also for candles for ecclesiastical use.
An extra census bulletin recently
issued shows that the size of families
has been steadily decreasing for
ga. mber of years. In 1859 the average
-slze OF families was $50 persons. 81
in 1860. 5O9 in 1870, 800 in 1889, and
in 1890 it had gotten down to 4.94.
Swedish women vote in the cities for
municipal councillors and in the coun-
try for members of the county coun-
ell, and as the latter body appoints
the members of the upper chamber OF
the diet the women may be said to ex-
erciSe a direct power i'll Swedish at
fairs.
She-"Well, if can't live on my in
come. and you can't live on yours,
where would be the advantage of
our marrying?" He (thoughtfully)-
We'll, by putting our incomes to-
gether one of Us would be able to live,
at any rate. "-LJe.
Mrs. Friendly What did your hus-
band say to you to make you feel so
bad?' Mrs. Newlywed- told him
that he hadn't been to church since
we were married, and he-boo-hoo-
said: No cr-a-a-burnt child
breads the re'-boo-hoo." "-IcGQS Sitt-
ingS.
I'm trilic late this evening, Dor
othy," said the lawyer when he reached
his suburban home, "but | fell in with
a highwayman, and that detained me-"
"Oh, John. dear. exclaimed the wife
in alarm, did he treat you roughly?'
Yes, | rather think he did. He only
had SS.53 on him; but I'll get more out
Of him yet" baltimore Ne1cS.
Said Judge Duffy to a convicted
malefact0r: 1T has been proven that
you burglarizel a house, stole a ham,
and forged another mans name to
note" MAY be So" You have also
been sailing under the false names of
Smith, McMullen, Goodrich and Per-
kins. while you were committing your
crimes" We'll, Judge, You didn't
expect me to allow my own honest
name to be mentioned in connection
with such villanies and dragged in
the mire. ."-Tcras SJtings.
Employer--"Mr. Tops, | have long
observed with approval your assiduity
and devotion to business, and am now
about to test your abilities in a new
capacity, in which | feel sure YOU will
acquit yourself with credit to the house.
and-er-" Mr.. Tops (highly de-
lightedD -"I-I-I shall do my best,
sir" Employer-"As | was about to
say. Mr. Tops, the porter is sick this
sweep out the Office. Puck.
Mammal" Yes" Does the die
tionary have all the words in it? "Yes,
dear" All the words they is?" Yes,
all they are" An what they mean?"
Yes" Can l look in the dictionary,
mammal" Yes, yes, and keep still
while mamma talks with DR.. Antibri-
CUES" Johnnie disappeared into the
library, and was gone twenty minutes,
says the Detroit Ifibunc. When he
came back he wore look of deep dis
appointment and struggled with the
weight of Webster unabridged. Il
can't find it, mamma" he observed
with froWn. What is it YOU want
10 find, Johnnie?" inquired the good
doctor. s"What papa said when
brcaked his shaving mug" was the in
IGCcHt hut suggestive response.