The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1892-07-13
HERE BELOW,
The Great Trials and rribuiatiOns of Man.

and full of blue mass and bile beans
He riseth in the morning full of ambi-
ton and finds his fondest hopes decay
while milking the COWS and making a
fire in the stove. In the eventide the
lowing herds remind him of a solemn
duty, while his good wife sits in the par
lor chatting gaily with the neighbors on
the gossip of the hour.
He goeth forth in the MONDAY to sit
under the shade of an umbrella china
and meets the dry goods clerk who duns
him for a silk dress that is worn by his
better half. He forgets to order a sack of
flour and that night sleeps with his face
to the wall and would go through the
wall if he could.
In the ''wee sma" hours of the night,
while dreaming of home and mother, he
is kicked in the ribs by his affectionate
wife who peremptorily orders him to
give tue baby some soothing syrup. He
dishes out paregoric in double dose
and holds anything but prayer meeting
OF an annual conference with his affec-
tionate wife from then until daylight.
He goes on fishing frolic and car
ries his little boy along to hold the bait
His pockets are loaded with the necessa-
ry bottle OF luck, but he catches moth
ing because the trees are not larges
enough for him to get the luck out of
his bottle without being detected by his
young hopeful.
He sallies forth to go on an excursion
and the train pulls out while he is yet
in view of the curling smoke circling in
the heavens to remind him of his sad
disappointment.
He runneth for mayor of his bailiwick
and is assured of a large support and
| handsome following. He kisseth all the
sore-eyed and sore mouthed children in
the neighborhood to win votes, prepar-
eth supper for his constituents and goes
home at eventide to mingle with himself
over his own defeat
A special occasion brings him to the
front as marshal of the day and he goeth
forth on prancing steed to ride at the
head of the column while brass band
sends forth inspiring strains to the tlut-
ters of his long, red sash. His horse be-
comes unruly and throws him into a
mud hole just before he reaches the
grand stand in all glory and he is denied
the pleasure of opening the ex 4rcises
with his beautiful impromptu speech,
copy of which he has in his peck
ct.
He joins the Alliance and is beaten for
President by sixteen votes, He goes
home in hack and has his BEAD bathed
in ice water for two days, after which
he is carried down town to recuperate
in the fresh air. The air revives him
and he straightway announces himself a
candidate for Congress on the Peoples
party platform with the intention OF
having thirty billions of dollars in the
town in less than six months. Fe real
ICES that he hasn't thirty cents and go 5
down in the whirlpool of popular con
demnation.
He is elected deacon in the church and
three days afterward has to dig potatoes
for a whole day in the garden to keep
people from seeing his red face and
bloated nose. He chews cloves for a
week and passes around the hat the next
Sunday, but is overwhelmed with blush.
es as he stumbles in a torn place in the
church carpet. He braces up and tries
to set a good example to the community
but is at last led astray by being induced
to bet his last cent on Albany when she
plays Montezuma. He goes home to the
bosom of his family and is at once en-
countered by his young hopeful, who
makes plea for pair of red-top boots
At once he has fit of Mysteries, he
makes sight draft on debtor to re-
cover his lost finances AMI his draft is
} returned dshonored. He swears he
will commit suicide and buys A cali
bre pistol with which he has a dramatic
scene in front of his home, the neighbour
luckily grasping the instrument just al
he was not about to pail the trigger.
He finally joins military compan,
and retires to private life.