The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-11-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


a double china dialogue. Life.
When a man is hopelessly in love it
greatly increases his sighs.-Siftings.
Even an all-round man ought to be
square in his dealings. .-Lo we'll Courier.
Little Johnny thinks it a good deal
nicer to be tanned at the seashore than
to be tanned in school. Boston Tran.
script.
They have ''potato socials" in Kansas.
The name may be from the fact that
young folks go there to pare.-Texas
Siftings.
"Do you enjoy good health, Mr..
Testy9" asked McQueary. "Yes, when
get any" snapped the old dyspeptic.
Puck.
Jake-''I presume you love animalsi"
Cora-"Oh, yes; girl of my age is
usually in love with some man. Yam
kee Blade.
ga man may be drove to drink" said
Officer McCobb, "but to git i'm away
from it find he has to be pullcd."-
indianapolis Journal.
"Charles is too timid to propose, aud
she Is too timid to help him on" tT
should think such timId pair could
easily shrink to ne."-Harper' Bazaar.
He-'Ts this the first time you've
ever been in love, darling2" She
(thoughtlessly)- but it's so nice
that hope it won't be the last. It'd
Bits.
anufacturer-"What makes you
think electric clocks should sell so
frecly9" Drummer-"They'r all to be
charged, are they notl"-Jeweler's
Weekly.
Shrewd Girl: Jennie-"Do you be.
lieve in fatel" Bessie eyes, but
believe in giving fate helping hand by
doing a little judicious flirting. New
York Herald.
Secretary Nibbes---"Did you discover
any irregularities in the Red Tape
BureauH" Inspector Sharp --"Yes. Four
of the employees were hard at work. "-.-
New York Herald.
Lovell---"This marrying rich wife
Is of no use." Markham---"Why notl"
LOWELL --"Because even after she's
asleep you can't find her pocket. "-.-
New York Herald.
Teacher-"What are you doing there,
Johuny, acting like a monkeYl" Johnny
Bellows-"Please let me off this time,
teacher, and l won't never mock you no
more. Yankee Blade.
Mamie (aged six)-"Mamma, was
Mr.. Gourmand born with silver spoon
in his mouth2" Mamma-'I guess so,
dear, and maybe with knife and fork,
too. Jewellers Weekly.
1t is not always the man who looks the
wisest who knows the most, but most
people don't know this, so that it will
pay you to look just as wise as you pos
sibly can.-Texas Siftings.
Cora---'I'm much pleased with my
new acquaintance, Mr.. Jimpson.
hope to know him better" Dora---
"Well, 1t would be impossible to know
him worse. "---Yankee Blade.
Brown (who is very proud of his
argumentative powerful always carry
my pint" Gray-''I think have seen
you when you were carrying good deal
more than that = Boston Transcript.
Miss Young-"Have you seen Miss
Waite's engagement ringl" Miss Green
-"Yes, / think it is a horrid insult.
The idea of a man giving a spinster of
her years ring of old gold. Jewel
ers' Weekly.
"They say he is literary man, and
perhaps he is. lie talks rapidly, but,
upon my word, l can't make head nor
tail of what he talks about" "Ha!
Perhaps he is a magazine poet. New
York Press.
"Her taste in music is improving
wonderfully" said one young woman.
"Why7" replied the other, "she never
plays or sings now" YES" was the
rejoinder, "that is how l know
Washington Post.
The Rev. DIR. Fourthly--"I shall see
you at church next Sunday morning, as
usual, Mrs. Mcswat, l presumed" Mrs.
McSwat--'I-I am afraid not DIR.
Fourthly. Bridget has just got new
bonnet. Chicago Tribune.
"Don't you think Mr.. Twiddes is
very absent -mindedl" said young
woman. "No," replied Miss Pepper
ton. "He displays admirable caution.
What little he has he always brings
with him. Washington Star.
Mrs. Keene-"There are times when
wish l were a man." Nj. Keene-
"For instancel" Mrs. Keene-"When
pass u millinei's window and think
how happy l could make my ife by CIV
ing her a new bonnet. "-Texas Mitings.
Mamma enthusiastically y---"How
wish we could afford to send Nellie
abroad for few finishing touches to her
musical education ~ Papa mo ear for
music) c)---''If could buy the finish With
out the touches, Pd pawn the furni-
ture. ."---Lippineott's Magazine.
The Professor-'In some respects
Miss Whackster is highly gifted young
woman. At school, remember she
excelled in mathematics. In large
class in geometry she was easily the
first" Miss Laura Kajones-"Ycs, the
dear girl was always so---so angular,
you know, ".--Ohicayo Tribune,