The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-02-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

China has revolution allie samee
South American man. Boston Herald.
A locomotive travels better and man
worse with a headlight Columbus Posi-.
The detective, like the dule, sheuld
be catchy in his makeup. BiaghdmtOn
Republican.
How could a critic ever become fa-
nous, if there were no minor poets to
faY2-Pueb.
The successful politician must be sharp
enough to cut all the people who expect
favors from him.-Puck.
"How did your friend become a Col
onelW She--"He married ColonePs
widow. ."-BoStOn Beacon.
Put handle to mans name, even if
he is crank. A crank without handle
is of little use.-BoSton Transcript.
ga simple look is all 1 crave" said
he. "Gaze into yonder mirror aud
you'll get it, said she.-Nelo York Jour-
nal.
1t is SAID that in Philadelphia, when a
comedian gets off coed thing, the cur
tain often ''drops" before the audience
does.
Corporal (at the inspection) n)-"Thdt
fellow looks as plump aud tat as if all
the cooks in the town had fallen in love
with him."
It's the woman who has brown plush
sacque on who can quickest tell a seal
skin when she sees it on another woman.
1eUdS SytiRgs.
The kangaroo Is funny animal. 1t
has four legs in all, but two of its legs
are longer than its fore legs put together.
--Elmira Gazette.
Some papers make it the ''grir,"
Others the "grippe." Still a spell of 1t
is bad enough no matter how taken.-
philadelphia Times.
A-"If l were minister I should
hate to dine at bankers table, B.
"Why" A--''Think of three days of
grace!" Yale Record.
If college men would only tickle the
world as they do their foot ball op-
ponents, the rest of us would never get
goal.-NeiO York Herald.
How goodlooking some of us would
be could we only live up to the photo
graph which we regard as perfect like
ness !-B0StOn Transcript.
"Oh, mammal" cried Willie, on Sec
ing zebra for the first time, edo come
here and see this poor little convict pony"
-Harper's Young People.
Don't pen missives to your best girl
on postal cards. She may have sus-
picion that you do not care two cents
for her.-Uaio1 County Standard.
Marriage seems never so much fail
ure to a man rs when something goes
wrong at home that he cant possibly
blame on his wife.-AtchiS0a GloJs.
When Strephon, hearing in the dark
A step, gave Bridget Daphn5's kiss,
He evidently missed his mark
BY having failed to mark his Miss.
Puck.
A hermit and a tramp present about
the same general appearance; the dis
tinguishing feature is that one is a re-
cluse, the other a wreck loose - Union
County Standard.
"My hair, " mused Van Smythe, as he
carefully consigned his two remaining
wisps to their appointed places, ere
minds me most painfully OF fool and
hls money. life.
There are lots of them in the world at
the foot of the procession who believe
they are at the head, though they admit
that the procession is going the wrong
way.-AtchisJA Globe.
"Did you ever notice how sometimes
the earth seems TO smile at the su1fn
said the poetic young woman. sob,
yes, " he answered. "The suu's an old
flame Of hers, you know"
Saidso-"When Jgblots made his de-
but as a star the audience went wild
the encore was terrific" Herdso-'In
which scene was itl" "The one in which
he was beheaded. "-Neio York Herald.
"Pve lost my situation, remarked
young man who had been working for a
Fifth avenue firm. sis that sol" ''Yes;
fired" "Why; l understood that you
worked in tire-proof building. -
Pitts5urg Chronicle,
Tommy-"What is running ae.
countP Pa says it's on account mer.
chants have TO keep of customers that
are in the habit of running away from
paying their bills" Uncle-"That's
one definition of il. Tommy"
there another2' Uncle-"Yes. A ru
ming account is, in some Instance
account that gets tired out runnb
after while, aud then h bp-
standing OblEatiOu.