The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-09-10
PITH AND POINT.


PlTH AND POINT.
The love of money never makes
anybody generous. Rams Horn.
The heart is that part of you which
leads you into scrapes from which your
head has to extricate you.-Atchison
Globe.
~ don't suppose" said the teacher,
''that any little boy here has ever seen
swer; ''but I've felt one!"
1T makes no difference how well
man does now, century hence some
man will rise up and prove his success
were errors.-Atchison Globe.
ooh, dear!'' sighed Henry, whose
clothes are all made of his papa's old
ones sPapa's had his mustache
shaved off, an I suppose I've got to
wear It now."-Tit-Bits.
--visitor-.sDoes the tailless ape show
any more intelligence than the other
apes?" Keeper--"Well, lie seems to
be more interested than the others when
people are talking politics. "-N.Y. Her
aid.
-"What makes the milk 50 warm?"
said Betty to the milkman when he
brought the pail to the door one moU-
ing-sPlease, mum, the pump-handle's
broke, and missus took the water from
the biler. "-Drake's Magazine.
-sWillie's mother had been reading
aloud the poem I'VE Are Seven," and
after some reflection he said: Mamma,
it's pity there weren't two more OF
them" "Why?" Because then they
could have organized baseball team"
Washington Star.
First Student-''How did you get
on in your examination" Second Stu
dent-"Badly! And to add insult to
injury. one of the professors was hard
of hearing, so that had to repeat in
very loud tone everything / did not
know. "-Fliegende Batter.
Hell thought the bride and
groom were going to start off on their
wedding trip, instead of waiting"
She-'.They were. But she had to
change her wedding dress for a travel
ing gown, and they didn't get started
until the next day."-Cloak Review.
business Before Pleasure.
ter ION shopping tour)-"Why, moth
er. you are not going to buy that, are
you? We have only just started out"
Mother-'True, daughter, but you
must remember purchases first and
shopping afterward. Cloak Review.
lis Smithins q smart lawyer"
Every. Man went to him with case
involving one hundred and fifty dol
lars. Said he was willing to spend
fifteen hundred dollars to get it back.
Smithins made him out bill right off
for one thousand three hundred and
fifty dollars. Brooklyn Life.
-Passer-"Ah! good morning, Pat.
How has your father been since saw
you last?" Pat-"Niver a change, sor!
He's loomberin' around wild the Same
ovid complaint he's had these foive
years" Passer-"Does the doctor give
him any hopc?" Pat-''No, sor! An
he jabers, Oh behave that's about the
only thing he hasn't given 'im."-Bos-
ton Courier:
Mrs. Prye-"Dear me. Mrs. Blunt,
how is it you continue to hold your age
so well? 1 declare you look as young
as you did twenty years ago" Mrs
Blunt don't know, unless it is that
1 escape a great deal of care by attend
ing to nobody's business but my own"
Mrs Prye-"Yes, that may be it: but,
poor thing! you can't find much pleas
ure in living, can you?"-Boston Tran
script.
-sTimes have changed, began Qua
simodo, thoughtfully; times have
changed" sOf course" said Yorick.
'But what makes you specially refer to
it?" In former times, said Quasimodo,
imam ate the cream" well, and
now?' "Why now they crem-ate the
man, There was an awful pause, and
then Yorick walked out and broke it
gently to Top that he was afraid poor
Quasimodo was breaking up fast
brakes Magazine.
Appearances Against Him. Chief
of Police-'T have heard no previous
complaints against Officer Gray. This
is the first intimation l have had that
he has failed in any of his duties" In
spector-"I didn't say he was Sinking.
/ said he didn't exactly seem to catch
on to his business, somehow" SIN what
way?" "Well, he's been on the beat
weeks now, and the fellows at the cor
ner fruit-stands say he hasn't swiped
banana nor lifted even peanut in all
that time, and the boys have begun to
guy him, you know. Tribune.