Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1892-12-10

l uut Always was one OF those I'M
provident people who like to TAXI
their fun as they jog along through
life, and SO Dang goes the saxpence'
for tobacco 'Have a good time
while you are alive, says the philoso.
pher Bill Nye, '.for you will be dead
long while"
There are several residents in
Brittany who look with contempt on
twenty pounds of tobacco a year, and
who supplement that supply, but not
with French tobacco. Some daring
souls take trips to the Island OF
jersey, only three hours or so away,
with a splendid service of fast steam
ers from st. Malo, and they try to
smuggle in as much tobacco as they
can. This, however, is a very risky
business, as the customs examination
Of those who come in by the Jersey
boat is exceedingly strict. This
brings me to Browns plan. I need
scarcely to say that Brown is not his
real name and that Smith is not the
name of the friend who was sacrificed
for him. merely use the wierd, I'M
usual name of Brown and Smith to
conceal identity, and If a real Brown
and Smith live on that coast I beg to
say that I do not refer in the least to
them.
Brown could get along on forty
pounds of tobacco, but even at that
he had to exercise some self-deniaL
Smith, his friend, did not smoke at
all. He hated tobacco, and even the
smell of good tobacco, which, to a
smoker, is the most delightful aroma
in the world, was exceedingly distaste-
full to him. Now Brown persuaded
Smith to import twenty pounds Of
prime American tobacco from the
Island of Jersey. Smith was shy Of
the perjury involved, but Brown
earnestly showed him that there was
no perjury. In fact, he doubted If
an Englishman could perjure him
self in the French language-he
usually spoke it so badly. Besides,
things sound so much milder in
French than in English. Witness
the innocuous utility of an oath in
French compared with its sturdy
Anglo-Saxon equivalent, Mind, Pm
not defending Brown at all, although
I am able to forgive great deal to a
man unjustly deprived of his pipe. I
am tobacco smuggler myself every
time enter France. 1t is therefore
not for the pot to call the kettle
black. I fear that the smoking Of
tobacco tends towards a certain lax
itY of conscience. Have we not the
authority of that smoking Oxford
poet Calverley for believing that
those who indulge in the weed
60 mad and beat their wives;
Plunge after horrid lives,
Razor. and carving knives
Into their gizzards."
I quote from memory, ana am GER
tain not to have quoted with verbal
accuracy, I say this right here, not
having the poems by me, so that cor
may save their postage
stamps in writing to correct me,
which they usually do when I make
a quotation.
Well, Brown, the immoral smoker,
persuaded Smith, the moral non.
by the following kind of
logic: The French law was bad any
how and no Englishman who ruled the
waves should be bound by it. Then
Smith was entitled to twenty
pounds for his own use. There are
other uses for tobacco than smoking
it. Smith might use the gold and
crimson colored packages for decor
ating the shelves of his bookcase.
He did not need to give it or sell it to
Brown. Oh, no, Brown asked no
such sacrifice. Brown would do the
rest. He would steal the tobacco
from the book shelves pound by pound
as he required it Thus Smith would
not have perjured himself, -even if
the whole transaction were done in
English. And so the unfortunate
Smith consented. The first twenty
pounds we're got through all right.
They decorated Smiths shelves and
Brown regularly stole them and every
thing was lovely, although Smith had
always vague twinges of conscience
his oath to the French Gov
eminent.
Up to this point expect the article |
I am writing to be interesting chiefly
to those who smoke Now I conf
IDENTIFY claim the sympathy of nom
for Smith in the disaster
which overlook him.
There was an entertainment at the |!
Casino at st. Malo and Smith was
there. As he walked along the cor
ridors, back and forth, during the in
he was pleasantly accosted
by a French gentleman whom he
dimly remembered to have met some
where, but he could not place defin-
ltely He did as most of us do under
such aggravating circumstances. He
he remembered the French
man and they walked up and down
together, chatting pleasantly. The
was smoking and Smith
was not, of course. The smoker,
after few turns, pulled out his case
and politely offered Smith a cigar.
THANK you, no." said Smith. 81
never smoke"
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