Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-05-28
NAMES TN THE BOOK
A Brief Review of the New City
Directory
ITS BROKEN PLOT AND STYLE
What Kind and Manner Of Names
Adorn Its Swelling Psges-Whas We
Have and What We Have Nos.

"Aalderink, John, carpenter, res
IS Martina"
10 the way the new city directory
starts, which 10 now ready for the inno-
cent book agent. With all due respect
10 Mr.. Carmichael and his assistants,
who have worked % hard for ~ many
months on tho big book soon to be
given to the public. the most generous
critic will have 70 acknowledge that
they have not produced very thrill
ing narrative. The plot 10 not we'll
sustained. and the narrative 10 broken
mouotonoy about the style that 10 not
81 all exciting. But there are some
very quaint thlngs in the blg book II
one cares to wade through II. After
John como three OF the Aaldrik fam
ilys and il il noticeable that
the first seventeen names are all Hol-
landish aud German. Among them Is
. man who boars the catchy name OF
Aaldrink. Whether the family all
drink 10 unknown. Abbey 10 the first
Engllsh name that appears. Gong
further ON il appears that there are
two Abcls in Grand Rapids, but there
are four Gains to do them up. There
10 . goodly grist of ecclesiastical func-
t:onsries. Two Popes, eleven Abbotts
and five Priests. There are sixteen
Chapels. three Abbeys and seventy
Churches for the eleven Abbotts and
seven Croziers for the thirty-five Bish-
ops who take care of the Ave Priests.
There are thirty five Kings, eighteen
Knights and one Admiral. There ID
only one AXE, but there are twenty-one
who are Aiken with . multitude OF
Paynes to contend with. There are
forty -ninc Adams, but only one Eve to
60 around.
Singular Freaks OF Name.
There are nine Algers. but tho book
does not say, what 10 the matter
with" any of them. Elghty-six Baker,
and seventy Cooks to do the culinary
act. There are twenty-five Barnes and
hut five Houses, showing that Grand
Rapids 10 in every way great horse
town. Forty-0ne Balls and only eight
Bats doesn't seem o fair divide and
some of the Balls are shy an l..
There 10 but one Batter. Eleven Bars
all seem prosperous and doing . good
business. Among the longer lists of like
names the Andersons come In with
III representatives, the Johnsons l9O
the Jones scventy-four, forty-elghl
Roses, forty Ryans and l49 Browns. The
spectrum is not we'll shaded, however
for there Is only one Redd TO Offset
eight Blacks, fifty-five Greens and sew.
enty-five Whites. There are twenty.
one Bolts but no Nuts in town thu
year. There are two pairs of Boots
three Shirts and three Stock ngs
Among the thirty-three Roses is one
Charlie. One man will have to &c
through life addressed 40 Say, bul
fortunately the There Is wanting.
There are 1900 people who write Van
before their names and Cos who write
either Nc or Mac. There is only one
Born. There are forty-two Brooks
but only three Rivers and two Lakes
One lonely Bull is pastured with us
but no Cows. Seven Christs have K
Offset the bad effect of ten Dams
More Peculiar Points.
The Cotton plant has blossomec
twelve times. twenty-five Daniels anc
twenty-slx Lyons seem q fair enough
shake. Six Mr.. Bowsers are found
Five Darts and seven Bowmen. There
q twenty -four whose names are Dennis
Twenty-one Barbers and fifteen Potter
is good representation for these two
ancient callings. But the Potters have
produced only eleven Potts. There ART
eight who certainly must give . RapI
in some cases. Eight Loves isn't bad
Five Nightingales make the air sweet II
they don't belle their names. The two
Garfields are both related to the mar
tyred president; twenty-five Peck
do not make even one buehe
according to the directory. William
II. Zylstra and twenty-nine like hin
form the concluding chapter of {
thrilling tale which covers in all 1862
pages; 16l of these are filled Will
names Of county residents and l29 ART
devoted to spreading the fame o.
Grand Rapids merchants. 1t shoul,
not be overlooked that the Smith fam
| lily is represented. Itoccupies prom
inent chapter, divided into parts, Z,
| facilitate reference.