davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
uluEN rRAuELINo

Whether on pleasure bent, or business,
take on every trip q bottle of Syrup of
Figs, as it acts most pleasantly and eff
fectively on the kidneys, liver and bow
els, preventing fevers, headaches and
other forms of sickness. For sale in so
cents and 81 bottles by all leading drug
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
A Prompt Payer.

De Binks-~One good thing about
Minks. Although he's a great Dor
rover he always pays promptly. He
was in only few moments ago and
paid me the SO he owed me-"
De Winks-~Humphi He was into
my place an hour ago and borrowed
$40 of me. New York Weekly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
IA IittIe roo EnrIIsh.

Chum: Whatl You are not engaged to
Miss Hightonel Well, I declare! thought
surely that would be match.'
Young Tremolo: I backed out. She was
too much slave of fashion, too English,
you know"
''You amaze mel'
''Faet. She wanted me to go by myself
and ask her fathers consent.
New York Weekly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

When Baby WIS sick, We gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castor a,
When she became Miss, she chung TO Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Many have found immediate relief and
permanent cure of aggravated cases OF rne sl1
matism by the persistent use of Salvation Oli.
When applied according to directions II hard
" ever faiIa to cure the most OBSTINATE cases.
Try bottle. 1t Is sold everywhere Tor only
d ceuts-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Winebiddle: Which do YOU consider the
master of modern fiction, Kipling or Steven
SOM Gildersleeve: Mr.. Porter. the s,1per
intendent of the census.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

If we could moderate our hurry,
lessen our worry, and increase our
outdoor exercise, a large proportion
OF nervous diseases would be abol-
ished.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

''To make a long story Short" observed
the city editor to the young reporter, you
may as well hand your stuff to the copy
reader That's the man over there with the
blue pencil.n
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Ponsonby: You haven't added this up
correctly, Alphonse. 1t should be $40 in
stead of 81. 10. Alphonse: An? So it ees.
do not undersigned re arithmetique in re
Ernnlish
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

EITS.-All TITS stopped free By DR., KLIak,s G1Rir
Nerve kestOrer. No Fit after frst tfay-s use No.
geilous cures Treatise ana e 90 trial bottle f %
tireases- Send TO d. Alinessl Arch St. Fhila- p
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

sbivver: This is one of those Masonic
rooms. isn't It? Landlady; What do you
mean, sir? Shivver: It never gets above
thirty-three degrees
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Photographer: That is certainly a good
picture for an amateur; very good. How did
you manage to get such pleasant expression
on the gentleman's face. Amateur: I told
him wasn't going to charge anything.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Mr. N. A. Murray, Wilmington, Del, writess
tsI had one of my severe headaches and was
persuaded TO try your valuable lbradycrotlnel
medicine. I never had anything TO do me 50
much good"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

ssAIy husband" said a lady, sis in the hab-
it of presenting me with a new book On each
| of my birthdays. To which Tameghe made
reply. "Ahl what a stupendous library you
Il ,,-,st have 10
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

A Refreshing spectacle.-Bunting saw
sight to-day which did my heart good. Lar
lin: What was it? Bunting: A plumber
getting prescription compounded at re-
tail drug store.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Gentleman: Does work make Won tina5
Tramp: No, sir. Gentleman: What? Tramn:
never get 30 far as that, but the Thought OF
It makes me tired.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

There are men who are willing to go on a
mission to China who are not willing to SIT
down and rock the baby for q half hour.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

If a mans wife caught him kissing his
typewriter it could hardly be claimed to be a
typographical error, but it would certainly
be a misprint and would be promptly cor
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

for millions of couples is absolutely spoiled,
and those first ugly quarrels begun because
comforts of travel. Lasting happiness at
tends those sensible people who take the only
road in America, whose very little Is guar
antee of present and future tehclty-the
ssIJnion Pacific"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Personal Habits of the Salad.-White:
This salad is very gritty, today. Wonder
what is the matter with it? Mrs. White ;
Don't know. Probably it was dressed before
it was washed.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The married man who interrupts while his
wife is giving him a curtain lecture only de-
lays the time of his going to sleep.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Hicks: Do you keep your birthdays7
Yicks; No; but my wife does. She has kept
her thirtieth birthday to my knowledge for
ten years.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Wife: Nothing for me? Then you have
forgotten that this is my birthday? Husband:
Not at all Only don't wish to remind you
that you've grown older.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Asafotida may not cure grip, but lump
of it carried in the vest pocket, will scare on
smallpox.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

ssWhcm do you consider the greatest man
In the United Statess' asked newspaper re
porter of Sitting Bull. Pale face who
makee Bulls Cough Syrup" was answered
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Kind Inquiries: The Deans Wife: Is the
dear Bishop still living? Episcopal Butler {:
Oh, yes, ma'am. He's better today We're
all saying he's going to disappoint' EN- yet
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Senior Partner: Has Mr.. Grip been pay.
ing his expenses on the road this trip? Junior
Partner (sadly): No, we have.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Mrs. WinsIow's Soothing Syrup for Chill
dren teething softens the gums. reduces infiaIn-
nation allays pain cures H1nd collie Csc a bottle
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

When the toboggan season fairly opens we
shall expect to see revival of the song, '"The
Girl Left Behind Me-"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The Throar.-ssBrol1n's Bronchial IrO-
ches'' act directly on the organs of the voice.
They have an extraordinary effect IN all DIS
orders of the throat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

1t Is the fickleness of the contralto which
compels the quartette choir to make a change
of base.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

''Ohicer, there's big row going on around
the corner" 'Don't yez think can hear it
ye chump? Move amp
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

BEEcHAAI's Pills take the place of an en-
tire medicine chest and should be Kept Tor
use in every family. % cents box.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

FITS-EpIepsy permanently cured by new system
Of treatment. TWO TRIAL BOTTLES FREE. Send for
Treatise. Epneptie Remedy Co.. a Broad st6sw York
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

There is no use in turning over new lea
unless you have something sensible to rite
on the page.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The professional thief is sometimes called
a bird of prey, and yet he's only a'robbIn-'
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

OF two women, choose the one that Will
have VOL
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Song of the medical student; ''Some
bodies coming"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
A Smart Husband.

Physician: Do you ever take any exercisei
Cholly: Aw, ya-as- wQu my own cigah-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

It may be observed that coasting Is an
amusement has its drawbacks.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

When a man falls into the hands of his
friends he will be pretty sure to get broke.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

tHanson's Maggie Corn SaIve.o
Warranted TO cure, or money refunded Ask
your druggist for H. Price Is cents
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Flats: You are not playing with the band
to-day? Sharps: No; I sent a substitoot.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

''That," said the editor, as the youth with
the rhymes slid down the stairway, is the
poetry OF motion.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The clergyman who ties the nuptial knot
Is usually summoned by the ringing OF
belle.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The brilliant mischief in ones own chill
dren Is outright crime in the children OF the
r.e5orbfrors
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The footpad is generally successful in strik
ing man for a job.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

If there is any danger lurking in the cigar
cite, the user thereof would naturally like to
to be permitted to smoke it out.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Lobbylounger The new play didn't go very
well, even for a first night. Leading man
(wearily); No, it had been rehearsed so
many times that we all got tired of it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Jagson says the hustling man is the garter
of trade because he always keeps stocking
nm
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

High-School Teacher: Why do comedies
always end with a marriage? Pupil: Because
that is where the tragedy begins.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
Ths Honeymoon

Old Vesuvius is again in a state of er9p-
ton. Also the only man who can carry ms
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
srlrr or ouIo. g. oF ToIEpo. | 60

FRANK Il CHESEY makes oath that he is the
senior partner Of the firm of F. ]. Cheney & Co,
doing business in the City OF Toledo. County
and State aforesaid, and that said firm VIII pay
the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
each and every case of CATARRH that cannot be
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn TO before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day of December, A d. 1886.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

First Truculent Prize Fighter: Come on.
Second Truculent Prize Fighter; Come Oh.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

bookkeeping at home at very low rates.
Write w. G. Chaffee, Oswego, n. Y.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
A w. GLFASON

E-~I NOLHrN FuDIICs
HALLS Catarrh cure is taken internally and acts
directly on the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
system. Send for testimonials free.
Z. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold By Druggists, 75c.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The silent man is often worth listening to.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
Mr.. Warren d. Vents

Is given the highest endorsement for honesty
and integrity by all who know him. For years
he has worked for Mr.. D. P. Wilson, the har-
nessmal1er and member Of the Geneva Board
OF Health Read the following statement OF
his terrible sunerings from
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
Hoods SaFsaparIIIa.

HOODS PILLS-The best liver invig-
orator and general cathartic. Gentle efficient.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

ADVICE aEs f Fea. PENSIONS ,! ag' %ss q
A. zscORAIcK sONs, Chsiaaa o. Waahlnstoa. .. G.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

Learn Matchmaking, sassassnE hea aa9c
nAKERs YaHEsreH s. Write for pEospectas
<. n. U. T. 45t-fi
tE-When answering any Of thess adssrtiss.
nents. please mentiua this pepe-.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17

The prospect of miners strike in Eng
land has advanced the price of mining shares
at Berlin.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1892-03-17
Dyspepsia

which have been unable to touch for years
The English language does not contain word
enough to permit me to express the praise
would like to give TO
The morning call., 1892-12-28
IT'S ALL SETTLED.
Peace Now Reigns in the
Italian Colony.
Fir. Sala Is Elected President of the
Societa itaIiana di Mutua
BeneficenZa.

Peace relgns supreme 10 the Societa
ltaliana d Mutua Beneficenza, so far as
surface indications go, and the followers of
Rossi and CRlegaIis are resting after the
excitement occasoned at the annual elec.
tion OF the society, which took place Sun
day and resulted in j. L. Sala being chosen
president.
As related in THE CALL, considerable
feeling had been manifested by the differ
ent factions of the society in this election.
and both were exceedingly anxious that
their candidate should be given the post Of
honor.
Dissensions in the society we're begun by
charges being made that Joseph Calegaris,
a druggist, charged double the amour
necessary for prescriptions which he COM
pounded at tho sOclaty's order. Mr.. Rossi
another druggist, made the charges. An
investigation resulted aud the charges were
not sustained. Since that time the society
has been somewhat divided, as the members
took different sides.
At the election Sunday Mr.. Sala, who has
held the presidency for eighteen years and
who was favored for the position by the
followers Of Calegaris, tr:umphed over Z. c.
RosSi, who is brother of ID. B. RosSi, the
leader OF the faction opposed to Calegaris.
From what the parties most deeply inter-
ested say, the S0cleta Italiana di Mutua
state, and If there was at any time ill-feel-
ing among its mem berS il has been entirely
forgotten.
Mr.. SaIa, the newly elected president,
said yesterday:
''The idea Of animosity occurring in our
society is ridiculous. There is none that |
know of. l have been the president for
eighteen years, and presume that | have
again been elected to that position because
l have proved myself fit to fulfill its duties
and requirements. For Mr.. Ross l enter
tain feelings of friendship"
Mr.. Rossi said that he had no personal
feeling against Mr.. Sala or any other men,
Der of the society. that he never had, and
he submitted TO his defeat gracefully
Everything was harmonious in the organi-
ZatiOn and all will be so as long as they
shall be able to maintain il.
'Mr. Rossf thought he would beat the
world. but the world beat him." said MIR.
Calegaris. "Mr Saia was nv preference
and he was elected. / am satisfied with the
way things have gone, but if the result had
been different | would have taken the
matter philosophically and have had the
same feeling of friendship for MI. Rossi
that have to-day
The morning call., 1892-12-28
STRAIGHTENED UP.
The Affairs of Howard
Church.
A Meeting of the Presbytery Held
Yesterday Takes Them Under
Consideration.

Yesterday morning the presbytery met
in Howard Church for the purpose of con-
siderng the charges made by Rev. Maeken-
zie. pastor of the First Presbyterian Church,
to the effect that the trustees of Howard
had recently broken faith in mOrtgagin
their church property.
Two weeks ago DIR. Mackenzie agreed to
raise half of the $4,000 desired on cOndi-
ton that the church directors would not
mortgage the property.
DR.. Mackenzie displayed considerable
warmth over the matter when interviewed
by reporters, which caused Robert J..
Mercer, one of the Howard Church trustees
who favored the plan of morIgagng the
church, TO exhibit an equal amount of feel
ing. and he claimed that DIR. Mackenzie was
mistaken.
full statement of the affairs of the
church was MADE before the presbytery by
j. Il. Roberts, an elder. who began by say
ing that DIR. Mackenzie was in error in re-
spect to statements attributed TO him. In
1888 savings bank had a S45. 600 mortgage
on the property and DR.. Mackenzie was re-
Quested to fill the pulpit, with the under
standing that he would remain until the
mortgage was lifted. The sum OF S35. 600
was raised by subscription. which, together
with an additional mortgage of SO, 100, was
paid. Shortly after this DIR. Mackenzie
took charge of another church, and the
members of Howard Church becoming lis
satisfied. demanded the return of the money
they had subscribed and asked for q divi-
sion, the property meanwhile having greatly
appreciated in value. Litigation follow ed
which was favorable to the church.
As the financial affairs of the church were
not in the best condition another $4,000
was raised. aud recently debt OF 5000
having accrued the trustees desired to ex-
eeute another mortgage in the sum oil Sl0,-
000 and il was 10 this that DIR. Mackenzie
objected. Mr.. Roberts said the trustees had
not acted in bad faith in giving the last
mortgage, as the promise not to mortgage
the church was not given by the present
board Of trustees, but by others.
When this was understood the presbytery
went on with its routine work.
The morning call., 1892-12-28
THE BIG FIDDLE.
1t Scared the People of Texas Town
Half Out of Their Boots.

The apocryphal leaves in ValIambrosa
were never as numerous as the stories with
which Colonel William q. SterTett's memory
is stocked. They seem to ooZe out of him at
all times and upon all occasions without fur
tber effort on his part than the mere re-
counting of them.
speaking of noises," remarked the
colonel to Washington Post correspond
ent, reminds me of thing that occurred
down III Henderson County. Tex, once.
Right near Maxwell was wild
sort of place. Inhabited with about
100000, 900 black wolves, and the edge
of it was pretty thickly settled. A
stranger going to one of the settler 5
houses never could sleep because the wolves
made such noise, but the natives never
minded 'em a bit, and even their dogs
stopped taxing any notice OF 'em. Suddenly
the people began to get worried. Sounds
began to come out of that wilderness such
as 10 human ear mad ever listened to before.
The bowling of the wolves were as the
voices Of the eherubim and Seraphm along
side Of IT, Every night il continued grow
ing worse and worse. until it became down.
right soul terrifyin'. Grown folks would
get white and the ehildren's teeth would
chatter, while all the cattle would come Il D
around the houses and try TO get comfort
from bein' near folks. Pretty soon tile peo-
pie concluded it was a Bengal tiger or a
lion that had got out O. the circus and they
made up ther minds to hunt ii down so
they could sleep again. So a big party
raided the woods and sent in the dogs.
Pretty soon back came the dogs with their
eyes bigger'n brighter'n electric lights and
their hair all standin' up and their tails be-
tween their legs, and they didn't stop when
their masters called 'em, but kept right on
for home hard as they could go. The peO-
pie concluded the thing, whatever it was.
must be something pretty terrible when a
Texas dog wouldn't tackle ii, SO they drew
off their forces.
THAT only made the noise at night more
Internal than ever. 1t was indescribable.
All the souls In torment seemed to be moan
in and cryin' and shriekin' and carryin' to-
gether. At last fellow came along who said
he had been in Africa. and that the noise
was nothing in the world but the night song
of an ostrich. The people felt sort
0, shamed that they had been frightened by
anything that wore feathers, so they made
up their minds TO start in after it again and
let nothing stop 'em. So one night about 100
of 'em, armed TO the teeth, went forth, de-
termined on victory. The dogs went in and
came out again just as they did before, but
their masters went on. Ashley began TO get
near the place the sounds came from they
were all pretty near scared to death, but
they were afraid TO turn back less the thing,
ostrich or whatever it was, might run after
'em and catch 'em. So on they went, gentle
men. and pretty soon they came to q little
cabin in a gully, and there they found a.
sittin' out in front of ii an old fellow
named Jim Bolts, a-sawing away for dear
life and trying to play Maryland, my Mary
land on big h0ss fiddle.
What did they do with him? Why, they
hung him of course"
The morning call., 1892-12-28
PERSONAL NOTES.

r. C.Walrath, Nevada City mining man,
is at the Lick.
c. A. Lynde, San Jose horseman, has
rooms at the Grand.
Captain II. B. Burns and wife, of Tahiti.
are at the Occidental.
/. G.. Wickersham, the Petaluma banker,
. is stopping at the Grand.
q. 5. Mckenzie, the Sheriff OF Napa
County, is at the Grand.
" Coleman's mine, is at the Palace.
p. Etchebarne. San Jose capitalist is at
the Grand. registered from that city.
III. III. Bernstein, prominent hat manu.
factnrer from New York, is staying at the
Palace.
+. C. Jones. from the Leland Stanford
Jr University, Palo Alto, is at the 0cei-
dental.
DIR. Cordino and Thomas Nelson, of the
United States steamer Adams, are at the
Baldwin.
ID. A. Bender, general superintendent OF
the Virginia and Nevada Railroad, is q
guest at the Palace.
Adjutant-Generai G.. G. Allen of the Ma.
tionai Guard Of this State is registered a,
the Palace from Sacramento.
United States Naval Constructor !. Fl.
LInnard. who has been acting at the Mare
Island Nayy-yard for some time. has re.
ceived orders to report as assistant naval
constructor at Cramps Philadelphia ward
he has already left for his new position.
Mr.. Llnnard is succeeded by ID. w. Taylor,
late of PHILADELPHIA