Morning journal and courier., 1892-04-27
TIC HIT,

Customer-Mr. Spicer. your black tea is just full of dead flies Grocer-My, myl and I told that boy to put them in the spice box--Boston Gazette.
 "Msrcyl" cried Juliet. "This glove is tight" 'I too should be intoxicated, 1" rapturously responded Romeo, "were I 6 glove upon that hand. nd."-Harper's Bszar.
 Chappie-Ethel offered me 8 cent last night for my thoughts. Msud-And you took iti Chsppie-Yes. Maud-Good enough for her; she is always chasing bar gains.-New York Herald.
 Little wife-I saved S90 to-day. Low Little Wife-I saw a perfectly lovely easy chair that knew you'd like and I didn't buy it.-New York Weekly.
 Mrs. Pancake (wearily) y)-It's as true ss gospel-woman's work is never done. Mir. Skye Parlor-Ahsm. Judging from this beefsteak, ma'am, I should say that it is sometimes too much done-Harper's Bazar.
 "That is Mrs. Street et-Commissioner Jones over there, isn't itg' ''No; not now. |" 'tDivorcedg' ''No; her husbands been promoted. She is now Mira. First-Assist- ant Deputy Sub-Comptroller Jones."- Harper's Bazsr.
 First Professor-You see, they let him in the Academy of Sciences because he had taken an A B., an S. B., an 4. M, Ph. D. and an M. D. Second Professor-Ah, understandable worked in by degrees. Harvard Lampoon.
 A Rare Inducemeut.- -Mother-I want you to be good children this week Fred die-Whst will you give us If we are goodl Mother-lf you are good you can look on when your father slaves himself Sunday moTning.-Te1as Siftings.
 "I have been downtrodden all winter" crowed the carpet, "but I'm coming right up now" ''Oh, yes," interrupted the broom, "but you will be beaten on the hOmestretch, lose your dust and be laid ont, just as you were last spring. ."-Indi- annapolis Journal.
 The father had gone away and left his only son in charge of the store "Are you the head of the firmr asked man with sample case, entering the establishment. ''No, sir" remarked rhe young man with great urbsnity, ''I'm only tho heir of the head. ."-Detroit Free Press
 A Washington woman recently remark ed: 'I've had trouble with every one of my servants and I suppose I may always expect trouble" 'I reckon ye kin," re- piled the colored domestic; '1 ain't heard nothin' yit bout no angels dat was lookin' fur service places."-Washington Star.
 Little Edith's mother was explaining a map. "These," said she, 'are mountains, this is a river, this is lake, and these little dots are the towns and cities" "And these, mamma" said Edith, refer ring to the lines of latitude and longitude, "these are the telephone and trolley wires."-Boston Transcript.
 "To day." said the preacher, i've will take up 8 collection to defrsy the funeral expenses of our late missionary to the heathen." But didn't the heathen eat him alivei" asked a doubtful deacon. 'They did," replied the preacher, "and that's what makes it so expensive. We've got to bury six hesthens to make one fu- neral. ."-Atlants Constitution.
 One of Detroit's bank presidents is a humorist One day recently his cashiers brother was talking to him about some music for the church choir. "Ask your brother about it. suggested the president. 'PshswI he doesn't know one note from another" "Doesn't hei" smiled the hu- morist. "Well, you try to discount one on him that isn't gilt-edged, and see If he doesn't. ."-Detroit Free Press.