Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-04-30
TWO SIDES OF EARLY RISING.
The Man Who Got Up si SIN o'ciock and
What Befcll Him

What Betcn Him.
Smith came into his law ogice the other dav
holding his head IN the air walking briskly
stamping has feet, clearing his throat aud maxi
ing noise such topcrs give vent TO after
they have enjoyed q cocktail IL was very evil
deni that Smith was pleased with himself and
thought himself superior 90 the generality Of
mankind. A STAR reporter happened 20 be in
the Office and overheard the conversation that
ensued between Smith and has partner. Jones.
Jones. by the way, was sitting disconsolately AZ
his desk. rubbing his eyes aud reading tho
paper, and he looked as though he was wiling
30 admit that there are plenty Of men richer,
Landowner and ADLER than he He looked nm
at his partner deprecatIngly.
We'll. smith, lac said. what's the matter7
Have you got US new million-dollar Will
case2"
NO, no" said Smith. 81 have no new cas-.
for us"
Then what the deuce are you so happy
about! Upon nv word it is tantalizing for an
Old married man like you 60 come m here putting
and snorting and blowing out clouds Of happi-
ness that way. lfyou were just gong TO be mar
ried could forgive you, but III be hanged II
can see any cause for your being any happier
man other men are, especially this early in the
Jones. poor fellow" said Smith. Il am
sorry Tor you. hut have found a remedy for
the blues and intend TO impart Il 20 YOU"
NO, slr, said Jones. IL know what YOU arc
gong 10 say and don't want TO hear IL Nv
poor. eeluded Smith, you have taken TO drink
ing IN the morning and 1t will kill Won in the
end. III You have gone that far let ME rccom-
mend You TO take bl-chloride of gold cocktail
Al once and cure yourself of the dread disease
that win be sure TO overtake you"
/ at all"
wen, then. said his partner ''vou are DO.
oon,nS an opium eater, ana that's worse"
NO, II isn't OPIUM"
| linen ITS cocaine, AMI that's killing. too
| va, you tlre me. 1t isn't poison. Jones
nave taken to early rising. and as a eonse-
quence come 20 my Office fresh as a daisy"
| ne proceeded TO explain that with the return
OF the mud spring weather lac had been got
! ting up at O'Clock in the morning and after
| dressing took good brisk walk. and felt az
he expressed II. like n fighting cock" Jones
Laughed and said he predicted that before the
| DAY was over his partner would feel like q
| wearied cart horse
1t is strange and inexplicable fact that the
| early riser should feel well pleased with
hinseH. The man who lies in bed as long az
he can and then hustles down TO his Office still
partially asleep Is never self-assertive; hut the
man who gets the start of him by a comm. az
| Eours thinks he is entitled 10 the respect aud
aauiaton OF all mankind. He NAV be modest
about all his other virtues. but this fact he in
sists upon telling everybody about.
Now II happened that the writer returned to
| inc once OF Messrs. Jones and Smith at about
| O'Clock In the afternoon OF the day when
| smith announced IN the morning that he had
found new recipe for happiness. There was
| no one IN Jones office. from which il was eyi-
dent that he had gone out but from Smith 4
1 ONCE there issued sound OF muffled rumbIinc
| which occurred at regular intervals with AN in
| terval oil about two seconds between each
rumble. Upon looking in the cause OF the
| noise was manifest, for Smith had his feet
] upon has desk. has head against the back of has
( easy chair and was snoring dreadiully. Some
| HaS or other had evidently been 60 soc him,
had found him thus, for waste paper basket
was turned over has feet, finely torn up paper
was Spanked over him in imitation OF a snow
storm on the stage, a chair upside down wa
| on the desk, and pinned to poor Smiths crayat
! Just below hls chin was a huge placsrd. looking
something like "a baby's bib. and on il in huge
letters was scrawled the legend,
| The happy early riseri'
| Inc desk presented "A very good likeness OF
chaos, but Smith was sleeping calmly
! "Oh, Mr.. smith" said the STAR man
| No answer
Smith. say. Mr.. Smith" in louder tones,
and then Mr.. Smith woke up with a start and
/ he absolutely kicked the waste paper basket
/ up against the ceiling and tore the placard
! from his breast MIR Smith was in ANYTHING
/ but good humor. and now IL Won want TO see
him get irritated just ask HIM how he Like
early rising