The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1892-07-06
TRUE HOSPITALITY.
How to Make a Visit a
Pleasure to Guest and
Hostess Alike.
TOO MUCH ATTENTION A BORE.
The Ever Sweet Woman-Practical
Household Advice.

xAASa v SAOJ SAS oAN "
unfolded the latest addition to her ward
robe. She was a very pretty school
girl friend of mine, who had been busy
sewing to prepare for a six weeks visit to
her dearest school friend at l.. Helen.
my little friend. was jubilant. She was
a warm hearted impulsive girl. aud the
prospect was very bright. ..Only," she
added. II do hope 1 won't get homesick;
this will be my first visit away from
home"
Envying my little friend her enthu-
siasm. l bade her good bye, hoping that
her visit would in no sense be ~disappoint-
ing to her. l pondered q the pleasures
and pains OF a visit, what is likely to
make a guests stay delightful. and what
is likely to cause inconsistencies.
Seasickness aud inconsistencies are alike
in many way. They are terrible while
they last. One gets comparatively little
sympathy In either case, and when it i
all over, one is almost invariably inclined
to deny the charge. For, as Jerome X
Jerome says, who ever met on laud u
mar who confessed to having been sea-
sick?"
TWO SIDES TO IT.
I have experienced both the joy and
misery of a visit away from home, and
believe that the success of such a trip de-
ponds greatly on ones self as we'll as the
extent of the hospitality rendered. Over
hospitality, like candy for breakfast, din,
ner and supper is very bad, aud often
drives a guest away. The secret of enter
tanning a guest Is not to be everlastingly
entertaining, to let him OF her have some
Liberty of action. sone time to come n
go at will. Not long ago a friend of mine
was invited to stay with another, who
was somewhat of an invalid. The que st
was boarding in New York, and fully
able to meet her expenses. Her hostess
who monopolized all her time, at the ex-
p~iration Of u few weeks, gave her an invi-
tation to pro1ong her visit, AIDING
that this was Il good opportunity
for her to save her board. Her guest left
the next day. That kind of hospitality
often causes inconsistencies, even for an
attic lonely.
AS another instance of over-hospitality,
/ remember the experience a young
cousin of mine had who started out to
pay a two weeks visit at the home of a
sweet" girl friend. Now there Is a
Sweet" kind of woma who always re-
minds me of Rosamund Lydgate in mid
dlemarch." There is a sweetness which
is %tyrannical in its selfishness. which
prompts an "angel" wife to calmly de-
mand of a bankrupt man luxuries as
necessities: whose disposition IS never
ruf1ed, but is always operating
ly sweet. My cousin was TO visit
such a woman for two weeks. She
mentally. Ste said she had been a slave.
From the rising to the setting of the sun
not one minute had she been let alone.
Even while dressing her hostess would
sit and watch her. and she could see her
in the glass. following her every move
ment. II she took up a book her friend
would. in the most placid manner, keep
up a conversation II she wanted TO write
her friend wonid sit at her side. Wherever
she went her hostess was at her heels,
following her like a dog until she felt
tempted at times to turn savage y around
u cry Charge"
. GENUINE HOSPITALITY.
That is the candy sort of hospitality,
killing with kindness. But there is
another sort, a good solid kind which
nourishes one aud makes one he althy and
happy. This kind of hospitality MAKES
the guest no extra trouble to the hostess.
The guest is left a free agent. Oh. the
comfort of such a visitl Where one dares
retire to ones room in seclusion. Where
offending.
Where, if n had ito write LETTERS
one was not greeted with a glance which
said, SIS anything the mattera" but it
was understood thai one wanted to be
alone. Perhaps the letters would not be
written. What matter? A guest is not Il
slave. nor is he a member Of the house
hold. He should be an honored member,
before whom all private household mat
ters are laid aside, for IL must be remen.-
bered thai as a rule g tests are Invited,
they do not intrude, aud at Invitation
they lay aside their own Zone troubles.
Surely you do not expect them TO bear
your burden? 4 3IS%