The Helena independent., 1892-11-15

penslye upholstered chair. Ants yet, h'her
we had argued over this event for few
minutes, it was substantially decided that
l was the only fool in the family.
The next regular business before the
meeting WAS the fastening OF the curtain to
the rings upon tho role. This was done by
means of n contrivance like safety pin. 80
called because when a man fastens it you
can bet with perfect safety that it will not
stay. Also, it is eleven to ona-that he sticks
it into his fingers. The use Of these pins
led to some words, but as they are not Ill
the dictionary l will omit them here. And,
by the way, as to this matter of swearing
should explain that I use only the
is far too shrewd to swear by any
thing that may get him into trouble here
after. No, indeed; he selects that neigh
Dor who has the most ornamental and ex-
pressive name and swears by him. This
method 10 quite harmless. but very grateful
to tho feelings in time of trial. On really So
rious occasions l generally call upon Il
maiden lady who lived in Constitution.
Me-, about twenty years ago. Her front
name was Nahitabei and the other was
Moses. l can strongly recommend this
name to persons of violent disposition.
1t has the advantage OF being almost
wicked, ON account of the Moses.
Well, got upon the table again and put
the pole into the brackets. Maude had
meanwhile attached the curtain to the
rings, and it looked to the careless, mascu-
line eye as if the job was done. But
Maude said that it didn't hang even One
of tho brackets was too high. unscrewed
this bracket and supported that end of the
pole with my hand Then Maudo said that
some of the pins were fastened too high up
| in the fabric and others too low down. i
| balanced the pole on my shoulder and be-
gan to remove some OF the pins. holding
| the gcrewdriver in my mouth, aS O western
lawmaker holds his bowie while the chap
lain ia opening the Legislature with prayer.
As stood thus. with both hands full of
| pins, my mouth full Of screwdriver and the
curtain pole trying to roll Off nay shoulder.
our bell rang. There ls always trouble when
our bell rings. Somehow. though of hos
pitable disposition. we are never ready to
receive people. We usually run around
! and fall over each other while tho servant
is calmly fixing her hair 80 that it will look
worse than ordinary when she goes to the
door. True, / had told her to admit
nobody on this evening" but that only in
creased the visitors chances of getting in.
| begged Mande to take a few of the
responsibilities off me while L went
to put on collar, but she was
agitated for fsar that cushion
on the back of her fayolite chair
did't hang straight She would have let me
hang either straighto or crooked sooner than
leave that impot tant matter unsettled.
dared ot get down from tho table because.
if ceased to support my end of the cur
tain, it would pull the other bracket oat.
In my agony olinchod my hands upon the
pins; and then l called upon Mehitabel
Moses and began to dance. The table or
wheels answered to my desire for action
with more zeal than discretion. 1t slid
backward and forward that my leg;
must have vanished from view like the
spok.s of n flying wheel. Then it suddenly
dissolved from beneath me.
When the girl ush red Mr.. and Mrs. Jig
ger (the very sweIlest people we know into
orr patlor, in defiance of my orders and the
canons Of polite society, was lying on the
floor in the embrace of the curtain. ant
Maude had fixed every movable thing IL
the loom so that it was crookcder than il
had been before since we went to house
keeping.
But Jiegsr is good fellow for all hi
style. He entered right into the spirit OF
the thing, helpsd me put MP the pourteers
and when he departed took with him Gu
heartiest good wishes and nearly square
yard Of our court plaster on his hands ant
face, HOWARD FIELDING.