Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1892-01-28
THE STAGE DRIVER AND THE DUDE.
Teaching Burly Rufisn a Lesson In Pc.
likeness.

Col William Greene Sterrett of the
Galveston-Dallas NeaDS and I went to
the theater the other night. One of
the players impersonated dude. The
Colonel is not dude, and has never
shown any especial prediction for
that particular variety of the genus
homo. When he saw this dude he
laughed. Between the acts he told me
why.
Once, good many years ago" he
said, 81 was travelling in stage in
Western Texas. 1t was long before a
snort of the locomotive was heard on
the prairies of that region over which
the buffalo yet roamed. AT one of the
stations young Englishman and his
wife got in. He was q little fellow and
dressed as typical EngliShman- what
we now call dude. The driver was
a big. raw-boned six-foOter He was
a noted fighter. He had never been
whipped and was a regular terror. He
seemed TO take dislike to the little
Englishman from the start. Presently
he stopped the stage, got down, came
back, and threw open the door.
Here, he said to the Englishman,
you come Out of that and get up on
the seat with me; there amt room for
you in there. The Englishman didn't
move. Come out | tell you roared
the driver. The Englishman just sat
still. If you don't come out I'll haul
you out by the legs, shouted the Jehu.
Then the rest of US eXpostulated with
the driver. | was too tired to fight
and couldn't get at my gun, so / just
expostulated along with the rest. We
told the driver there was plenty of
room inside; that the Hnglishman
wasn't crowding us, that if he <ariger)
insulted or injured any of his passen-
gers he would be discharged by the
stage company. The driver by this
time was wild. He swore he was in
command of that stage. and that he
proposed to run it to suit himself. and
if that blankety cuss didn't come out,
he'd pull him out.
"'All right, said the Englishman at
last. Il will come out and when | am
out l will whip You soundly.'
He got out slowly. We all felt
sorry for him and sorrier for his
wife She didn't seem scared or wor-
ried. though, and all she said was:
"Charlie, don't let him scratch your
face
We'll, when the little Englishman
got out he took his coat off and hand
ed it back into the stage. Then he
started toward the driver and the
driver started toward him. We heard
sound a good deal like that made by
hitting a steer in the head with an AK.
Down in heap went the driver He
was up quick as flash. Down he
went again. Actually that little En-
glish dude knocked that burly six-foot
driver clean off his feet dozen times.
How it was done none of Us could tell.
The BIG fellow would rush at the little
'un with his arms goin' like fails.
Suddenly the little fellow would make
dash, his right arm would fly out,
and down would 90 the driver. After
the dOzenth round the driver cried out:
"Hold on, stranger: hold on, Pm
whipped and throw up my hands. You
can ride on this stage anywhere you
darn please. outside or inside or on
the horses. You're boss, now, but.
he added. glaring savagely at the rest
of US. i kin lick any body else on this
stage.
I'VE didn't expostulate. The En-
glishman climbed back into the stage
as quickly as he got off. His wife was
satisfied, for 'Charley's' face was not
even scratched At the next station
the driver explained that if he'd only
have got hold of the little fellow he'd
Rugged him to death like a bear, but. ;
he explained, every time just as [ was
about to lay hands on him the ground'd
fly up and hit me on the back of the
head
Who was the little fellow Oh, a
graduate of Cambridge, and the best
boxer of his time at the University. y
WdSh5m9t0n Post.