St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-01-13
SUNRISE SIGNALS.


1t is estimated by scientists that Colorado's
cliff jewellers existed 10000 years ago. Should
one of them return to life he would be sur
prised at the small municipal progress made
by Philadelphia
BY custom the dowry Of Turkish bride Is
fixed at Si.70 The Turkish brides come low
but the people must have 'em.
-"
Anent the incarceration of Billy McGlory
on Biackwelfs island, the New York Adyer-
user trusts that "when next he breathes the
air of freedom he will ''forego dive-keep-
ing and earn an honest living" But why
should McGlory forego dive-keeping for the
express benefit of about 80 active competi-
tors in the giddy city of New York;
-
Now let the world stand still! An army
pensloner has returned his check for the last
payment, asked that his name be stricken
from the roster. and declares he wishes moth
Ing further from the United States govern
ment This man should he accorded about
.oO'OOO square feet of space in the worlds
fair.
Col. Elliott F. Shepard pauses in the midst
OF politics, religion ana profanity to engage
III a petty quarrel with the pressmen on the
Mail and Express.
Quite respectable number of newspapers
throughout the country are learning that the
people who. read newspapers are not fools
and, incidentally. object to line of Journals
all publishing the same syndicate features,
simultaneously because lit is so much cheap
q n N-nrV tyT,D -
furnished the country press Is just as good as
these uniform syndicate features and in some
respects, great deal better.
"a
The Baltimore Herald inquiries: rs beauty
CURSE" Oh, we don't know; ask Joel z.
HeatWole
At recent Missouri wolf hunt thirteen
dogs were killed by mistake, and yet the av-
erage policeman can shoot thirteen times at
dog without hitting it.
~
Paterson, N. j. says the Pittsburg Dis
patch, has adopted 4 new seal" The
poachers in the Behring sea have adopted
several hundred thousands of them
The knights of Reciprocity" have thrown
mud hook to wiudward with a low plunk.
ana Blaine suddenly awakens to reaiza-
tion OF the fact that there is not only an
other Burchard but thousands of them in
The field. What with stomachic hvsteria
and fool friends Jim Blaine has hard row
to hoe.
Had Ward McAllister read more books and
led fewer germans his abyssmaI ignorance
would have been less profound
-
Finer and more seasonable winter weather
than that which at present prevails in the
vicinity or st. Paul was never tempered DIV
the kindly rays of smiling sun. Incident
ally 1t may be noted that similar weather is
also enjoyed by the good people of Minneal-
oils.
AS we go to press Kansas appears ready to
welcome the Democratic national conyen-
ton with bloody hands to hospitable grave.
-
II the publishers of Puck do not donate
$1,000 i'll cold cash to the Boston public
library Tor excluding it from it's precincts.
they VIII utterly fail to pay for value received
III the way of splendid advertisement
-
1t appears that accidental death by cleo
triclty is swifter and less agoniziug than
when the fluid is applied by artificial means
in so-called electroculion. Last Monday. at
Johnstown, Pa, Michael Buntovski, aged
seventeen years. touched an arc light with
an iron bar and instantly dropped dead.
Inc same phenomenon is witnessed in
deaths resulting from stroke of lightning.
But IN the electric chair of death the victim.
according to medical testimony. writhes in
tOrtIrn
ton Of the death fluid. Applied science IS
several laps yet behind that Providence
when moves in mysterious way its won
ders to perform
Arabs never eat fish; fish makes brain. and
yet the Arabs invented mathematics. How
can one reconcile these apparently antago-
nistic facts?
The United States supreme court appears
to have 81 ven the interstate commerce law
long vacation.
The peremptory demand of Mr.. Porter for
Sl.oO0'OOO with which to complete the census
does not seem to warrant the assumption of
Col Watterson that the present is to be
"a fve-cent congress-
~
Inc machne-mad Chicago Inter Ocean
appears to be deeply grieved because Roger
G. Mills has the temerity to aspire to repre-
sent Texas in the United States senate. How
ever, it is entirely too late for Mr. Mills to
haul out of the race, and the Inter Ocean is
alone to blame for not sooner sounding its
protest against any political advancement
for the champion of tariff reform,
&c
The alta ntinD nf arnbitaots o,>c.,xol :. -
ting up the exposition hall at MINNEAPOLIS
Tor the Republican national convention is
called to the fact that but little attention
need be given to illumination appliances
Foraker will be present The acoustic prom
critics, however, should be stoutly buttressed
with twenty inches of chilled steel backed
by four feet Of solid oak
In Chicago nota sparrow falls to the ground
that some small boy does not gobble for the
sake of the two-cent bounty,
~
Worlds fair visitors VIII be enabled to 90
up in balloon. always provided that Editor
Charles A. Dana does not send the worlds
fair up in balloon prior 10 1893.
It's now asserted that Guy de Maupassant
has been crazy for the past two years. This
confirms popular belief that certain kind
of chokebore intellect is absolutely neces-
sary to the successful production of French
fiction.