The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-04-19
Col. Bilkins Still Has Domestic Trouble
but Denies Being Henpecked.

B.-"Look here, Mr.. Editor, [ want
you to quit publishing what 1 say.
You tell every bit of the trouble 1 have
with Betsy an make out that I am
henpecked."
R-"Well, it seems that you don't
have everything your own way.
B.-"Of course not. Who the dick
ems ever heard of a married man hav-
in any liberty. l wouldn't be talkin'
so big now if 1 hadn't raked up money
enough to get Betsy a new Easter
dress She gave me three days grace
an said l could sass her back every
day till Monday"
RI suppose then that you can
talk politics a little"
Bob, of course. But l would
rather refer you to Betsy, for as oon
as my three days of grace are out she
will blow me up sure as Christmas.
But l want ter know about the trouble
Mr.. w. E. Abernethy got into"
R.-"Nothing, only he wrote a most
wonderful letter for the newspapers
and his people sat down upon him.
They were afraid he would a sky
ward, so they sat down upon him."
B-"Say, 1 want to ask you about
DR.. Kingsbury's war record"
RI can't tell you his war record.
Perhaps it will never be revealed to
man."
B-"I wish you could. 1 heard a
man say the other day that the Doctor
began to preach as soon as the war be
gan an when it was over he quit
preaching an went into politics"
RI can't discuss such matters a
that. This paper is non %sectarian and
non partisan"
B.-'WeI, if he did that there is
not much religion 0 politics in the
concern. So you needn't be afraid of
gettin' on forbidden ground"
R.-"How are political matters in
your beat now2'
Blush, Betsy is coming over
to the phone now. Hitch me to DR.
Caldwell, of the Charlotte Observer"
"Hello! DR.. CALDWELL"
DR.. C.-"Hello! Who is that?"
B.-"Bilkins is my name"
DR.. C.-"What in the-Texas do
you want?'
Bob, I was sorter frolickin'
around takin' a holiday an I thought
l would like to ask you if you had
heard anything from the leaders yet"
DR.. C-"NO."
B.-"Say. DR., write to EN- that it is
"a plain violation of the constitution"
for them to sit up there in Washing
ton . Gnttin' s., 600 a year doing moth
in L sayin' nothin' to save the State.
Pat. NC che u-r111I met 90 COOn rIcZ
q lot of settin' hens for legislators as to
have some Of the old line representa-
tives from this State a settin' and set
tin and never hatchin' nOthin."
DR.. CT wouldn't give a nickel
for a bushel of Betsy's opinions, you
hayseeders don't know enough to get
in the house when it rains"
B-"That is all right doctor, we are
sOrter awkward an green, but we are
gettin' things sorter in shape l reckin
fer you have bin calm for the leaders
and the profets" to come and help.
DoggOne if l believe you smart editors
know enough to get out Of the way of
the big engine that is comm with a
full head of steam"
DR.. Care your a member of the
People party -
B.-"AccOrdin' to what you say one
day, l am, accOrdin' to what you say
the next day | amt. I'm a JeffersO-
MAN Democrat"
DR.. C.-"WeI, that is all right. The
Democratic party is the peoples
parry"
B.-"I reckin it is, but you fellows
don't want us to call it that, but that
is what we are goin' to do, and it will
not belle its name hereafter"
DR.. C-"TeI me plainly what sort
of conventions you are going into"
BIN going into the primaries
that will be held the first of next
month. Betsy says to do that, an if
any of them township chairmen get to
cuttin' up she says we should tie two
or three shoe strings together, take the
chairman out in the woods an tie him
to a bush until we get the st, Louis
platform passed"
DR.. C.-"That may work in some of
the rural districts, but it won't go at
the State convention"
b Say Dr., you have lots of larn
in. Betsy is going to the State con
vention. She says that if Ed Chambers
Smith gifts to kickin' an raisin' of
a racket in the State convention she is
a goin' to wrap him up in her apron
an carry him down in the bottoms on
Walnut Creek an hide him in the bull
rushes. The campaign will be half
over before he gets back"
DR., C-"But what will be done with
Mr.. J. Q. Ellington?
B-"I don't know him. But if he is
half as smart as he thinks he is he will
get his whiskers insured in several re-
liable companies, fer if there is trouble
Betsy's blood will be up. Good bye
Doctor"