The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-10-13

oho RECEIVING ulapnfagm, and SllI
IN the reproducing diaphragm and
adjust the other parts Of the machine
so that it would report the latest i'm
presslons it had recorded. The two
women were perfectly quiet for once
IN their lives, listening intently, when
suddenly the monograph said in the
precise tones OF Mrs. Tellall:
"Have you heard of the awful scan.
dial being circulated about Mrs. PERU.
MANI" '."-'
"Why no; What in the world is
| it?" asked the machine in the inouis-
tive tones of Mrs. Lapsus Linenae.
You never would have thought it,
know, but they say she went to the
lecture last evening with that notori-
GUS Mrs. Bengal" and here the
monograph gave recital Of such a
cholce DIT OF gossip as would have re-
CALLED the arch-scandal monger of the
world.
glanced over at my two compan-
ions, and observed that they had
turned as white as the peoples bloom
ing near the window. Then their ewes
began 70 dilate wider and wider as
they stared at the talking phono-
graph. The more it reported Of the
coloquy they had just been engaged
III, the more they became mortified.
until OF length Mrs. I4apsus Ilinguae
sprang to her feet and exclaimed in q,
| voice tense with anger:
"Mr. CartWell Jones, shut IN that
talking machines mouth this very
minute!'
|
+"Why?" I questioned innocentlv.
1T Is doing very we'll, Isn't it Won
deriul! just listen! How preciselv it
reproduces the tones Of those two
| Ladies RECALLING themselves with that
cholce morsel Of scandal. It would
oe pity to lnturrupt that interest
ing COMPENSATION. / am anxious-ex-
ceeolngly anxious, Mrs. Lapsus Lin
suae, TO hear the end OF it,"
MIR. CartWell JONES'" she aoain
broke out, "do you hear me? Re-
move that talking machine at once
this minute"
"Don't you enjoy the ladies dia-
losue?' asked, pretending to be sur
pr!sed. Can 1 be mistaken in NV
Judgment OF your character? I SUP
posed you would find such a. CONVEX
satlon Just to your TASTE"
Mrs. Lapsus Linguae sank into her
chair with deep sigh, and not a word
was SAID some moments save bv the
monograph, which passed gliby from
one piece OF gossip to another.
"Ugh!" groaned Mrs. Tellall. "I
c ca bear this any longer. "Stop it,
mr. Jones, stop it for-for heav-for
phys sake! Doc, doc, stop it!''
II nope 1t doesn't worry you, lad
les, reloined. "This is to be a, part
81 the programme for my exhibition
down town next Friday evening""
"You don't intend 10 make that
machine tell all that stuff before a,
puollc audience in the town hall, do
you, MIR. Jones?" cried Mrs. Lapsus
Llnguae, starting to her feet in dis
may.
"Certainly," replied, more or less
nonchantly. "That conversation
will be very edifying."
just then stopped with some sur
Prise' 1oG the photograph was saying
IN Mrs. Tellalrs confidential tones: <
!, do you know, Mrs. Languae, that
the report is going the rounds that
NJ NJ Cartwell Jones has been Tilted by
Miss Dunbar"
"Oh, ooh! For pitv's sake. Mr..
Jones, DO turn it off! Do!'' pleaded
Mrs. Tellall. coming towards me, and
W1lnglng her hands, while the pearlv
tears stood on her cheeks. "I'lInever
tattle again about my neighbors-
never, il you'll only turn off that hor-
rid machine"
well, guess will" I said, seeing
that the photographic dialogue was
becoming rather personal. / felt nv
tace flushing, too. at the reference to
my being gifted by my betrothed. Sol
stopped the phonograph, and had
gone to the door with It. when Mrs. r
Lapsus Linguae interposed.
You won't let that awful machine
60 over that horrid talk of ours, on
FRIDAY evening, will your" she said,
bursting into tears.
"Why not?" I asked, naivelv.
"Oh, it would be awful! Boo, hoo,
hoo, hoo!" '
"Don t you like the conversation"
L asked, little sharply.
"No, [ don't. Boo, hoo! I never
knew how awful it must sound for
two women to spend three hours in
nothing but gossip. "Ill never do it
again, never"
"Nor !, chimed in Mrs. Tellall.
"All right, ladies'" 1 said lenientlv.
"On those conditions 1 promise not
to let my photograph report you at
the exhibition. "Good-day."
".Good-day, Mr.. JONES'" they both
said tearfuIly.
walked home in very meditative
frame OF mind.
what a wonderful invention is the
monograph" said to myself. "Edi-
son" continued, apostrophizing the
inventor, ''you are a greater genius
than you suspect, If I may vary
Burns famous lines to suit the cir
cumstances I should say that you
have, by your marvellous ingenuity,
enabled US TO hear oursel's as ithers
hear us"'
Permit me to add, en- PEASANT, that
my monograph is still engaged in a.
work OF moral renovation in nv
Observation-Disclosures York Observer