Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-01-29
PITH AND POINT.

An expert in handrighting-Tho mani
cure.
Sometimes in trade man kicks when
there is nothing to boot.
In Boston, it is said, there arc people
who believe the bean to be ahead of Cab
bage.
When is q timekeeper not time
keeper2 Five times out of ten.-Jeio-
elers' Circular.
If lovely woman smacks you on one
cheek you should turn her the other also.
= WASHINGTON Star.
Favorite song of the American hciress
and beauty: "When can read my title
clear "-Boston Herald.
"You told me you were quill driver"
"Wella" "And here you nre tending
geese" "Wellf"-&. J0seph Ne.es.
Stockholders usually hope for divi-
dends, but the dividends are often like
the hopc-deferrcd = Chicago Ne,0s.
There is n Justice in Islip, Long Island,
of the name of Clock. His principal
business is to give time to the prisoners.
-Jouo!ers' Circular.
"This Il bad sign" said Hicks, rs tho
shiugle of Bludboory, Bithers & Co.
was blown from its place aud landed Oil
his high hut.-Bazdr.
Collector-"IIow about meeting this
note2" Merchant-''I can't do it to.
day. But I'll make note of this meet
ing.-Jc,nelers' Circular.
Gcorgc-"Chaplcy is one of those fell
Ioxuo xvLo hovn morn ,nonnv finn hrn;no
isn't he2" Jessie-'Yes; md he is not
rich, either. "-Hd,pers Bazdr.
One of the most amusing and harmless
of distractions that man is heir to is the
fancying what he would do if he were
somebody clsc.-St. Joseph Netos.
"How old is the Hesslan hy2" asks a
correspondent. Old rs the American
Revolution. Washington made the Hes
sian fly ut Trenton eras !SJtings.
"Did you realize anything in that gil
gantic watch-manufacturing scheme you
were interested in?" eyes, 1 realized
that was q chump." Chicago Macs.
The blue jays come when the skies are bleak
The woodland paths to cheer,
But the green jays from across the creek
Are with us oil the year,
Washington Star.
Waiter-"You didn't remember me,
SIR" Diner with q keen glance -"And
l don't now. Can't recall that ever
saw you before. "-Kate Fields Washing
ton.
Fathcr-"If you expect to succeed In
public life, my son, you must have
push" Son--'tI'vc got pull, dad, aud
that's better than push. "-Boston Tran
script.
Goldbags Cooking out at the tene-
ments)-''Alas! 1t must be very hard to
be poor" Wentman-"On the contrary,
it's confoundcdly easy to be poor
american Grocer.
Jake Jimpson (after the engagemenD
--"Shall name the day, dear2" Cora
Bellows-"Oh, dear, mol" "Why not,
darling2" "You are too procrastinating,
Jake. "-Ne,o York Herald.
Young NIr. Dedbroke-"I want to
marry your daughter" Old Man Sur
plus-"What for2" Dedbroke-"Wcl
Idon't know exactly, but hope it's for
not less than hundred thousand"
Natural philosophers who have devoted
much time to studying the subject warn
people to be mindful OF themselves when
both the hour and minute hands of the
clock cover I. The clock might then
strike one.-Je'oelers' Circular.
Willie-"Well, I've seen all want to
of this Delsarte business" Johnnie
"What is the Delsarte business2" "I
don't know, but there's lady in there
calling on mamma who says she teaches
it. 1t takes her five minutes to sit down"
Chicago Tribune.
Blushing Bride-"I want to get o
present for my husband, but l hardly
know what to get" Clerk-"Why not
get one of these nice silk mufflers to wear
evenings2" Bride--"Oh, dear, no; my
husband never goes out nights" Clerk
-"Wcll,you might get it for next year."
--Ne,o York Sun.