Tombstone epitaph., 1892-11-02
HIT WITH WIT.
Wilcox Wisdom Routed with
 the Wit of a TenderfoOt.
WILCOX, Oct. 3l. 1892.

jan of October 29th, edited by that Divinely Gifted man, MT. C-a-l-s W. P-gh, is d confidential intimation to the public of Cochise county, Great Britain, Asia, Africa and other unen- frightened portions of the habitable globe, in which the R-p-b-i-a-s circu- lation extends, that they will be pleased to learn that cure has been found for catarrb, that dangerous mal- ady SO disastrous to stOckmen. The article seems frank at first sight, but do not be deluded by this wily an nouncement, you democratic nincoro- poops. into applying for any of this valuable remedy, for l, as a friend of the DivInely Gifted, who will hereafter be designated as the D. G., having overheard him confide it in a whisper to Mrs. O'B-i-n that any democratic sufferer from catarrh might be catarrhed and feathered for all he (the D. O. cared; and as he said this tremor of self-satisfied joy coursed through his brilliantined wbiskers, and the happy wind flew around the cor ner in delight. In an adjoining col umn to this is n announcement of a democratic "rojeo," the "herd" con- sisting of the democratic nominees. Now, gentlemen, though you are dem ocrats, these epithets are not intended to be severe, but the D. G., having been associated from his earliest child hood with live stock-in an atmos- phere, l may say, impregnated with the odor of bsffalo chips-naturally reverts, when aroused, to the vernacu lar of his early associations. It Is, Of course, owing to his intimate knov l. edge of everything pertaining to the live stock business that he owes his present exalted position in this com munity. How many times, ask you, has he not, by his wise advice and timely warning, kept away the Texas fever, routed pleuro-pneumonio and driven big jaw to Topbet? And while he has not produced rain at will l, for one, feel satisfied that he could if he would, but that having gotten a pri- vste tip from Saint Peter or J-s Ct | that tho stock market would be ulti- mately better for another years drought, concluded not to.
 The magnanimity of the D. c. in admittin, that there may be some good men among the democrats leads. me, as one of them, not to lose hope entirely, and I am of the opinion that ii we could get together and make one strong. stirring. soulful appeal. he would consent to publ sh our brands at the same rates ss heretofore and let by-gones be by-gones, as truly great and good man will always forgive under circumstances of this nature. I think, therefore, that we may hope that the early instincts of the D. G. will ultimately overcome his present political bias, and that he will consent after election to pilot, with sublime impartiality, the democratic and re- publican herds to the promised land of prosperity, good markets and long grass.
 In the local column the D. G. abuses his intellectual supremacy by poking fun at us for the smallness of our heads, and advises us to "plant our hats in good soil, 80 that they may grow to mems sizes," and goes on to state that "the capes would also be more becoming if they had frill that would hide the back collar button." Are we to understand from this tha, the D. G. expects us to have heads as large ss his? An no, Charlie, (pardon the familiarity it takes years of pros- perity, such as the average Democrat icsstockman knoweth not Of, to pro- duce s head parallel in size to yours, and, to say the least, it is unkind to twit us upon misfortune which we cannot help As for the collar button incident, whence this morbid desire to see the collar button covered? Can It be that the D. G. has a wsrt on the | back of his neck that he uses to save expense, and that consequently he is sbsurdly sentitive on the subject? No, I cannot believe it, no matter who says SO.
 come to a question now whicl
 makes me nervous; for does not the success of our party in this precinct depend on it? and that is, IS the D. G.