Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-12-30
PlTlI AND POINT.

A blind man-Thc dealer in window
shades.
Secondlng the motion-Taking the
time OF sprintcr. Truth.
Don't be deceived by the big orange.
Like church bell, it is mostly peel.-
Boston Transcript.
Since all the worlds stage and Attn,
held it up, he must therefore be the bio-
gest thief on record
Many man thinks he can road
woman like book till he tries to sa.}s,
her up.-Philadclphia Times. VII
A restaurant mutton chop never looka
half so sleepish as the waiter who serves
the microscopic object. Yors.
Herald.
How soon the millennium would como
II the good things people intend to dc,
tomorrow were only done today;
Rams Horn
Parker-"I know girl who married
Chinamau." Mrs. Parler-uMercvt
How could she?" O. Parker -s,Shc was
Chinese herself" fi'f;ci
'silence is golden" thought the
neewsooy. when the customer handed
him vc-dollar picce in mistake for a
new cent.-Truth.
"Why do you suppose Mrs. FLYER
wears such loud closhesl' $50 she won't
hear her husband growl about the bills,
1suppose. Inter. Ocean.
Wife (proudly exhibiting her uew hat,
why my dear, you seem to be as
tonlshed." Husband Yes; but not
surprised. New York Journal.
Poct-"I have little poem here, sir.
that has been indted-" "Well. sir. [
would be glad to sec it convicted, but
can't try t."-Life's Calendar.
Every woman is sorry for some other
woman on account Of somethigt her
husband told her about the Ather
woman's Decentralization G4Se.
The reason why woman alwaS& adds
a postscript to her letter is because .he
Is bound to have the last wo.i if she bas
TO write it DISQUALIFICATION TrapscriptI
She speaks, he understands her p,t
Altnou IN he is no foo;
AoI see, the only French she's got
she learned ut boarding school.
New YORK Sun
81 wonder why he didn't kiss me
when accepted h,mw s.Prehaps he
thought the occasion demanded some
thing unusual from him. "-L,fe's CaIen-
dar.
"sophtie is badly troubled with dys.
pepia:.." That's because he is so @ul.
lible." what has that to do with it1"
"He swallows everything. New York
Press.
Watts-"This has been a great year
for record breaking" Potts-uHasn't
it, thought Nudge paid me SO he Dor
rowed, for instance. "-Iud,anapolis
Journal.
The secret of oratory consists in the
power OF so expressing yourself that
Others may be induced to do things
which you do not want to do yourself. ?
Boston Transcript.
He lat 11;3O p. m -sYour father i,
an awful jolly old Chap. isn't he2 Can't
you arrange it so that can meet him2"
Shelves; just stay half an hour
longer. New York Herald.
Husband (going off on hunAQ 81
know I'll miss you while I'm ~.
dearest" Wife-"Of course YOU viii!
You always miss everything when YOU
are OF hunting. brooklyn Life.
Lady-"Bridget, suppose you know
how to take care of cut glass, don't
you" Bridget-"Indadc, lii, am, an
DO. I'm always perticer TO put all the
broken glass in the ash BIN. "-Chicapo
Inter-Occan.
The conscience fund has been swelea
by the receipt of two cents, which the
sender acknowledges having made some
years ago by reuslng postage stamp
that had not been cancelled. This is al.
most two centsitive. -Philadelphie
Ledger.
Husband-"Helen, what's wronc
with this pic crust2 1t doesn't hall
cover the pie." Heen-"Why,, dear
est, l asked your mother all about how
to make them to suit you, aud she said
to make the crust very snort. "-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
He was an old merchant who devoted
much time to advertising. "John,"
said his wife, "@hat do you want nut
on your tombstone?" GOA" he an.
swered, sit isn't important what Ne
text is, SO long as it gets good space Md
Is well displayed. "-Gcneral Mnnn0A