St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1892-03-27
SUNRISE SIGNALS.
GASTRIC CHowDER CoTEnrE,

.. SlSGdlS, ESD. L nave the QODOr 10 IN
form you that at called meeting of the Bos-
ton Chowder Coterie it was almost unani-
mouslY decided to invite you to ticipate in
an old-time New England reunion dinner
which the coterie will give April l. If you
would Kindly recite a short original poem
perhaps some of the members could be in
duced to remain through the ordeal The
cotere win chew at 9 p. IN. sharp. Very re-
specially, HOMER E. CALKINs,
Corresponding Secretary
AS it might awaken painful surprise in the
minds of those who know US best were we to
decline to eat we cannot find the heart to
pain them. To enclose regrets would doubt
less awaken suspicion of hypocrisy on our
part. besides casting gloom over the gastric
region of the ChoWder Coterie
But we desire to explain right here that if
the members of your New England culinary
guild hatter themselves that we wi be the
one lone alien diner at the festal board, they
are taking snap judgment, drawing conclu-
sions from false ard unreliable hypothesis
and thinking through their hats. Owing to
negligence on the part of our parents, we,
too, were born in Boston On an immaterial
date. Our earliest recollections embrace as
ISOLATION with kind grandfather, worthy
physician of the old school and q firm friend
OF castor oil, whose early services we subse-
quently repaid by upsetting quart bottle of
brunette ink over the manuscript of his
great medical work On Extreme IngroWIng
Dementia Among Coroners' Juries.''
Afterward we remained in the vicinity of
Boston for several years in statu quo. Thus
1t will be seen that in accepting the cordial
invitation of the G. C. C. we but return to
the halls of our fathers. as it were. fig.
uratiyely prepared to eat veal on the rack,
but in reality more inclined to daily with
Blue Points, terrapin, Tokay, Chambertin
and Roquefort cheese. Still, dc not let us be
understood as attempting to volunteer tips
on the menu. Far from it. We believe the
NeW England Gastric Chowder Coterie will
do what is right, so we will let it go at that
In regard to toasts, what would we better
do about them? You enclose no invoice of
post-prandial sentiments with your invita-
ton, as is customary in such extreme cases.
Will we be expected to follow Chauncey M.
Depew, or does the ante go ahead of the deal?
Remember, it is immaterial with US. Our re-
marks will be e&temporaneous, as we have
al excellent memory and will bring it
along with u.s. We also commit readily. We
committed horse thief to the grand jury at
one time while acting as justice of the
peace out IN Nebraska Do not hesitate to
we call on you for side meat. The man who
hesitates to call on us is lost. Although we
are from the West, you need not be afraid OF
our doing anything de trop should you con-
clude to entrust us with finger bowl. The
West is not what it used to be. We trust we
can secure an omnibus at the deppo, as it is
SO long since we trod your historic, but
slightly devious boulevards, that the topog-
raphy is somewhat misty. We used to catch
green-headed sculpins in the Back Bay,
where now stand some of your most Queen
Anne and palatial residences. We presume
nowadays the Commonwealth avenue nabobs
are obliged to walk whole blocks for their
sculpins.
Right here we would mention an impor
tant item for which to render an unlimited
number of thanks, and that is the fact that
majority of the members or our coterie were
born in Boston. 1t is a striking proof of
good taste, and at the coming orgie we hope
to see none of US going back on heredtyjby
eating cold pie with case knife. By the
way, what are you wearing in the line of
headlights this season? Plain gold-rimmed
spectacles, or single barreled En- giish binoc-
ulars? As you have abolished pants in
your metropolis, how would it be were we to
appear in pair Of trousers? Will we
have time to get shaved after the cars come
in? Shall we dress au naturel or are pompa-
dours ruled off the track? Is the president
of our coterie a theosophist or a tariff re-
former? How are you fixed for corkscrews?
Do you say "eyether'' or 'nyether?" If not,
why not? During the progress of the BAN
quet will the band play "Comrades?n Last
Thanksgiving we attended q game supper in
Chicago to which we were invited because the
w nndprStnOd W q
game leg. We trust there is no such misun-
Outstanding i'll this case. Nothing would set
heavier on our stomach than lobster salad
absorbed under false pretenses.
And now, in conclusion, let us again thank
our coterie, through you. for their kindly in
vitation to be present at the cutting of the
melon. 1t will be unnecessary for q commit
tee OF more than one TO meet US at the train.
If you should see a travel stained, dusty in
dividual with cautious tread cinders in his
eyes and a fugitive side-glance in the direc-
ton of the conductor, steal from between the
baggage car and tender. it will, most likely, be
u.s. At this critical juncture it will be just as
well for you to restrain all demonstrations of
JOY, as you might scare us from the nest. But
truly. amid the clash of politics and conflict
of ideas regarding the correct course in
which to steer the ship of state; with a great
republic on our hands growing greater,
more unwieldy, unmanageable and com
pick; with millions focking from
other climes to these shores bring
ing with them the costumes, customs,
habits, ideas typhus fever and smallpox of
other nations, the annual reunion of the
Gastric Chowder Cotere Is about the only
real, tangible, truly American holiday was
have left. Let us improve it at every oppor-
tunity. Let us conseerate it to such of our
forefathers as happened to catch safely on
to Plymouth rock and who founded nation
in the teeth of a shower of Pequod arrows.
Aloft with the olive branch of peace, and
pass the olives! So no more at present. as
enough is as good as barbecue. Yours
practically &c SUNSET SIGNALS
Grover Cleveland, who has declared his in
tenton of visiting Rhode Island, is cautioned
against walking about much in the fog He
might step OFF.
Just at present all is not childlike and
Bland in the lower house of congress. The
filing of a saw is music compared to the NUT
terings of the free silver men.
Rev. John Jasper. the octogenarian colored
preacher and author of 1.-The Sun Do Move
theory, was married last Thursday 1t may
now fall out that he will temporarily forget all
about the sun i'll getting move on himself
An exchange notes that the newspaper
fake center. which lowered for long time
over MONTICELLO, H., has moved westward to
Montana But wherever it may be, the news
paper fake center will invariably be found in
perihelion with Joe Mulhatton.
1t is now claimed that Senator Palmer,is
Mr.. Hills second choice. Quite often sober
second thoughts are the best.
QUE sTtONS FOR BLAND.
Enormous Profits for Silver Mine