Morning journal and courier., 1892-06-01
SUITAB BLE.

O. H. Waddle is the name of delegate to the Chicago convention, but he will get there all the same.-Picayune.
 Jagson says there is only one man who can beat @ lawyer lying about suit, and that's tailor.-Elmira Gazette.
 His Measure.-Hoffman Howes (desper- ately)-Gimme gun! I want to blow my brains out. DeaIer-Try one of these air guns, young man.-Puck.
 "No, my dear girl, catboat is not nee essarily made of pussy willow. It is sim ply called a catboat because that is its name. Boston Transcript.
 "Henry, I'm afraid that new girl of ours is one of those anarchists" "Ehs" 'She seems to believe in the total demolition of property. Indianapolis Journal.
 'Why, Jackson, this isn't a bit the kind of house I supposed you would build" ''No; Pm rather surprised myself; but the architect is very well satisfied. ."-Tid- Bits.
 Strange to say, man can be very we'll read and yet be extremely blue, but if a man is yellow he should never be referred to as the pink of perfection.-Philadelphia Record.
 Newly arrived spirit-Who was that venerable looking parsonage that yawned so dismally while was talking about the tremendous rainn they are having on the earth1 Resident spirit-That was Noah Chicago Tribune.
 "Captain," said Mrs. Trotter to the com mander of an ocean steamer, 'have you ever seen the sea serpent"
 "No, madam" replied the old sea dog, ''I don't drink. ."-DetIoit Free Press.
 He (.imidly)-Now that we are engaged, IT presume l may-may-kiss you as much as please, mayn't If-She (encour- agingly)-Yes, indeed; make the most of your time, dear. There's no telling how long an engagement will last nowadays, you know.-New York Weekly. Sleek Stranger-I am hunting for work, sir. Have you any scrubbing, washing, or cleaning of any kind you wish donei Mir. Morrison Essex-You don't look like a man for that kind of work. Sleek Stranger-I am not, sir. It is for my | wife I am hunting work.-Puck. Husband-Where is the hatchetf Wife In the attic. "If you saw it in the attic, why didn't you bring it downl' '1 didn't | seg "Then who didi" ''No one that know of" "Then how in creation do you know it's in the atticl" 'I heard you up there yesterday driving 8 nail."-New York Weekly.
 | That's a great motto," said Briny | Billins to a real estate man who asks, ''Why pay rent when you can own your | own homel" 'Yes, |" was the reply, "but I have just had tenant who revised it in a way that made me dislike it. He says, why pay for home when you can owe the rent moneyr-Washington Star.
 ooh, Tom, the baby is so sweet! To-day he took of his shoe and threw it in the fire, and when told him that he was 8 bad, bad boy, he only said Nah" "'Nah, ehl Well, what do you think I'm made of l-money! That's the second pair he's lost in a week" "Oh, no, dear; it was the mate of the one he tore to pieces" "Oh, that's different-isn't he cunning."-Har per's Bazar.
 Father" said the young man as h, leaned on his hoe, "they say the balance of trade is agin us." s'They do, ehi" "And that our bank reserves are rapidly dimin ishing." "Do tell" "And that railroad extensions have come to 8 halt" "Well, swan" 'And that tho volume of securi ties is substantially without A market. "Grest snakes! Well, neverl And dC
 they say anything about feller stoppins to lean on his hoe to talk when he nigh
 just as we'll talk and hoe, tool" Reuber spit on his hand and resumed.-Texas Sift