Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-02-04
WheeZe, SneeZe Groans,
Means! SQnills,
Pills! Lint, Splint,
Doctor fee, One "!

Ed. Not, IN Nea0 York Sun.
BAcKwooDs SUBscR1BER-"We want
ter git look at the editor. Whar
bout is hep" Office boy-''1hat's him
sleepin' with his feet on the desk"
Backwoods subscriber-''Golly, Jim.
Hanged if he amt got on shirt, red
galluses and socks-jes' like the rest of
us r'-ANonta Constitution.
CHOW, Rastus," said the merchant,
zone more question before l employ
you. Do you drink" ''No, sab. New
err, sab. OATS my rule, sab" "Well,
Pm sorry. [ was going to ask you to
take a little =" "Marse Brown, they
amt nebber been no rule 'thout ex-
ceptions. sab. | excerpts yo' invitation,
sab. "-Ne,v York Sun.
ANGRY pedestrian latter narrow es-
cape) sir, you had run into
me ?'' Bicvciist- 81 would have
bruised your shin and broken my
neck" -Street and Smiths Good Meas.
EHAMLET JoNEs-'So you have left the
Tin Monkey Company" Bufto Booth
Eyes. didn't like the way they cast
me-" Hamlet Jones -'Indeed ! How
did they cast your" Buffo Booth
"Out. "-Kate Fields Washington.
The ED1ToR-"Lucky man, that fell
low sJones.'' The Assistant-"I don't
see how you make it." The Editor
"Why, he took out life insurance po-
licv for $500 and died SIX days before
the company failed !''-AtJamta Constitu-
ton. :,
81 THINK I've got the grippe" said
mends whisky" said hobbs. "Mine
will prescribe beer to build you up"
said Cobbs. "My physician will order
chamnaone as a tonic" said SlObbs.-
Philadelphia Record.
OLD GENT (who knows the young
mans salary eff you and my
daughter could live respectfully and
comfortably on $40 week should rot
object to the match. But you can T..
Young Man-"No; but my salary is S20
a week. and that added to the $50
week YOU are talking about would make
$40. "-Neav York Weekly.
TIE humorist may cudgel his brain
in vain to earn the laugh which an or
dinarv man can raise by falling down
slippery understandable Journal.
THREE scruples make a drachm, put
most of the boys take the dram hrst
and let the scruples come In at the sec
ond table.-Siftamgs. -
FoGG is inclined to think that COCK
tail is not an unmlxed eVn.-Do''o'
fr doesn't add any additionally wise
.oasor ~ MANY strikes for shorter hours
that thew take place in winter, when the
DAVIS are already short enough.--Phato-
delphia Times.
No well-bred barber Will cut an &c
ce.-Picayat'ae.
WHAT an awful thing it must be tor
,n,le to have cold ears!-Binghdmton ne
publican. oos;ono1lv
MANY an eminent surgeon occaslonaiiy
o,,ts moor figure in his professlon.-
Boston Courier. Sc s,f-
for;no in darkest Africa is too mucn
water-melon. Enaira Gazette.
No Ethel, it is not stealing to take
- ,-hanever Won can find one unoc-
cupied. -DansriHe BreeSe. o.,
aC.11 that fellow baritone !" saio
o A;a-.,,stad auditor. Hes only
h LIE imitation. ''-Indiandpotis Journal.
o'. ..rur Girl who Took My Eye" is the
m article. Her name must nave
h s.elu y ,1CS;nda.--1ugusta (Gal Chronicle.
T,cu dnels with the small SWORD
aaIdonn illustrated with cuts, except
a, tbe naners the next morning. -ooeo"-
'''. ~ ~. Kpr1Ey appears to be IN bad door
IN the other doctors since ne gay
s w1,n tn. the asafntida secret. Lo'''s''1e
Courier Journal ohao
oJ IT, ndwriting is an index OF chara 6
II sd nanu newspaper e reporters ought to
col q fraid to 90 to bed WIN tneilesi'oo
,,;obts. journal.
Ir,s remarked as a strong prJot th 81
,,o+rra's disposition to assert USE. sn To-
lew lew te pts, ehin-rest.- Philadelphia Times:
use .s 'ne > said the elder little broth
J John, :, m,nst be sure not to ask i or
er, = yv the wild duck twice. why