The sea coast echo. [volume] (Bay Saint Louis, Miss.) 1892-current, 1892-01-09
BAY ST. LOUIS, MISS, SATURDAY, JANUARY 8, 1892
HIS GREAT INVENTION.
An Excellent Device for Husbands WI
Stay Out Nights.

81 HIS GREAT INVENTION.
An Exosllent Device for Husbands who
"a Stay Out Nights.
Ex A gentleman we'll known in club cir
cles on the South Side has unquestioned
claims to the gratitude and admiration
of large, influential, and long-suffer-
Ing portion of human kind.
The citizen has just applied for pat
ent for what he calls "The Married
Mans Indicator"
1t is a wonderfully sensitive arrange
ment Of the ordinary thermometer in
convenient pocket size, and is graded to
scale of cabalistic marks, which show
the exact state of the domestic atmos-
lphere at any hour of the night
The hard worked and belated hus-
band arrives home, say, about mid
night He takes out the indicator,
thrusts it in the keyhole and let's it re-
main there few seconds. Pulling it
out quickly he scans the dial by the
rnoonlight's ftful cleaning.
1t it is marked IS. A." (sound asleep,
the husband pulls off his boots noise
lessly, uses the latch-key with bated
breath, gives the door quick pull to
keep it from creaking, steals trem bling
ly to bed, and when his dear wife
wakes up shortly afterward, and wants
to know how long he has been home,
he is sound aleep.
II the indicator scores "a. A. c. B. D.
N. K w. T. 1. L." awake, awfully
cross, but does not know what time it
is), the husband opens the door boldly
and walks in with a slap-bang air, hits
his boots Intentionally against the
chair, wants to know why chairs don't
keep out of the way, gets desperately
angry on general principles, scares his
wife out of her crossness and curtain
lectures, refuses to let her get up and
strike match-never did like light
at night remarks gruffly in response to
1 a timid query that ''it's about twenty
minutes after ten," and then turns into
bedsin such an apparently terrible state
of mind that the wife of his bosom is
afraid to speak to him, at which he is
very sad, of course.
There are other marks on the indica-
tor showing just when it will do to play
the 'Iodge dodge" or the ''sick friend
or been standing at the corner talking
to So-and-so for more than an hour" or
General or Honorable this or that,
from you know where, was in town,
and had to go away by the two o'clock
train, and he insisted SO strongly that
the whole party stayed up to see him
off, although he was a great bore, and
j 1xr p,,t
the most awful of all cabalistic signs is
the one on the top, about two marks
above boiling point.
When the weary husband comes about
4 a. m. and sticks the indicator in the
keyhole he is almost too weak to draw
it out. With hair on end he reads it by
the faint light streaming in upon him
from over the eastern hills and sees the
bulb of the indicator jammed smack ur
against 'R. H., S.W.F.Y.LT.D." (red
hot; still waiting for you inside the
door,. The inventor of the instrument
says that when a man has this terrible
misfortune overtake him he feels there
is nothing left in life worth living for
He braces himself for the coming
fray, but says nothing, for nothing can
be said. No lodge, no sick friend, nc
talking at the corner, no sitting up to
see the general off, no vowing he will
never do it again--in fact nothing will
prevail 1t is an indefensible case
He is caught Even the CHASTITY
gayety with which two hours previous
he had said to his fellow-sinners, thai
he would see it out might as well be
killed for sheep as a lamb" has al
vanished. The indicator having tolc
him the exact state of things, he know.
exactly what to do, and there is nothing
but get in bed at once and wrap the
drapery of his couch about him, pull
the pillow over his ears, and wait fol
Ibis wife's breath to give out. It's aw
full while it lasts, but it has it's use ir
relieving the unfortunate husband O.
his great load of anxiety. The indica
tor is great invention. Chicago Inter
Ocean.