The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1892-01-10

IonR-establi8hed bores, the pores VIM beem
to he a part OF soclety's very self. the cement
Of which II ia omposed-although nobody can
tell why. for nobody knows OF any especial
merit which they possess. They are neither
handsome, nor rich. nor interesting. nor even
Economically wicked; they IRE simply COM
monplace. Lady Violet, striving to account
for tho liberation OF such persons suggests
that certain leaven OF the commonplace may
DO essential to society: that. II 1t were tenant-
ed only by talent or genius. or charm, Its par.
tlcles would disintegrate and fall to pieces; or
that, perhaps. low level OF intellect is condu-
Give to entertainment However that may be.
there Ia no doubt that bores OF this type have
their recognized place. and that parties to
which they are not asked seem to lose some.
how the orthodox caohet. There Is, however. q
fashion in borcs as in everything else. Partic-
ular boros may last o season or two. or even
decade: but then they will be replaced by 9TH
or bores. the choice OF whom appears equally
inexpllcable Confident in the security OF
their temporarily IMPROBABLE position. those
bores sail placidly along the stream OF life,
giving nothing out and taking nothing in.
Conversation with them is sadly enervating.
They seem. like q suction pump. to exhaust
your brain. and leave you. after an hours
chnttor. worn out limp. and utterly un-
nerved.
We nrc told that prudish people opined that
With the advent OF the tea gown correspond
ing laxity OF mornls would set In. Lady Violet
Grevllle does not deny In terms tho fulalment
OF the forecast, but she maintains that at the
witohine hour OF 5 woman Ia commonly at
her best. There is then about her movements
soupcon OF lassitude which adds to their
grace. thcre ia a coseyness in the surroundings.
a softness and genteness In her tones and her
appearance that leave her. rs 1t were. disarmed
For her the 8 o'clock tea Is the equivalent OF
the after-dinner cigar. in tho consump-
ton whereof a man Is seen to the best advnnt-
age: 1t Is then that you ask his consent to
your marriage with his daughter. or try to
persuade him to buy q horse. or to do any Of the
hundred things against which in less tracta-
Bile moments his soul would revolt. But II q
man should be approached in the smoking
room. q woman should be studied In her
boudoir. where questions Of tender import
may be ventured and where sllenco Is often
pregnant with q deeper meaning lhnn be-
longs to words. In society no woman can
be natural There she wears her war paint
She Is on the defensive: she Is clothed
in triple armor OF self-rerression: she
is watching the tactics OF rival or trying to
outbid her for tho homage OF an admirer. or
to create somo impression which Is not the
true one either that she Is colder. or prouder.
or more Indifferent or more n1ectionate than
one may think. But over her tea table. In the
shelter Of her boudoir. o woman can afford to
be herself Lady Violet advises the man who
wishes to know his adored one's character to
spend an hour with her at tea time.
In chapter on men and manners" the
author bewails the almost total abolition OF
courtesy and politeness which pervades con-
temporary life. Beyond tho fact that a man
lifts his hat In the street to o lady. or gets up
when she leaves the room. Lady Violet cannot
see that he troubles himself to perform any
acts Of civility The fin de steele young man
thinks he confers a favor on his hostess II he
answers her invitation to dinner week or two
after he has received It reserving to himself
the right Of accepting something more agreo-
able In the mean time should 1t present itself.
I'm punctualty is another form OF his incivll-
ity. Some men are such incorrigible Of
tenders in this regard that In houses
where their habits are known no one
dreams OF waiting for them or OF expect
ing them within half an hour Of the ap-
pointed time As to card leaving after dinners
or parties. the youth who is up to date consid-
ers It perfectly exploded relic Of the past and
despises any ono who conforms to SO antiQuated
a usage. His presence ut the party was honor
enough for the hostess. and stamped the affair
as flrst-rate: any further acknowledgment.
which might look like gratitude. he leaves to
the struggling member Of society who is not
yet smart enough to afford to be unoiyil. If
he COOS to O dance. he takes good care not to
arrive till supper time. completely ignoring
the smiling faced. nicely frocked young ladies
anxiously awaiting his advent Then. either
vOfh "a al rss,tfh ;ad
lady OF his acquaintance hanging on his arm.
he makes his way to the supper room. and
having refreshed his inner man. and whiled
away an hour or two. walks jauntily homo in
tho serene conviction that his evening has
been we'll spent. He has studiously avoided
asking the plain daughters OF the house to
dance. regarding tho absence Of beauty as
personal insult to himself. and he has selected
o few OF the prettiest married women as the
recipients Of his favors. lounglng away n half
hour with them in the conservatory
or sitting-out room. or perhaps taking
couple Of turns II the dancing room be not
too crowded. Should some old-fashioned
or misguided person venture to intro
ducs The modern Lovelace to q young girl. no
after the presentation is over. turns
on his heel and walks away. Such check"
he mutters under his breath. to introduce
mo to q girl when I know heaps Of 'em al
ready" Neither would no ever dream OF
taking an elderly lady down to supper. or OF
giving cup OF tea to some weary. patient
chaperon. "She can look after herself" he |
would say. wore the suggestion made to him.
Not that the refusal is meant unkindly. 1t
simply never occurs to him to do an act OF
kindness for itself the notion OF such q thing
Is out OF date. It went out with stocks and
powder and cooked hats and all the thraldom
Of artlhciality and etiquette. Apropos Of the
attitude OF young men to chapcrons.
Lady Violet tells US that charming
mother. once In her early days Of chapc-
ronage before she was initiated. whispered to
her daughter. who was talking to very exqul-
site youth: Tell your partner should like to
60 down to tea" To which the damsel. wiser
already than her mother. responded quickly:
:" Mamma. II wore to shy that to him he would
mover dance with me again." So tho tired
mother. falnting for refreshment. had to wait |
until some grizzly bearded friend OF her youth
took pity on her loneliness and offered her his |
arm. Bittor. indeed. are the experiences OF |
the chanoron. II she be wise she efraces her. |