Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1892-10-27
BROWN AS A PUNcTUAToR.
what Came OF Crying New Rapid Mcthoa
of Learning the Rules.

of Learning the Rules.
Brown, my boy, there's nothing like il.
It's better than French in six weeks
because you can work it into yourself III
month, so that you can hardly say or
think anything without following the
rules. Take this beautiful selection,
which recalls our school boy days.
"The boy stood on the burning deck,
comma, whence all but he had fed,
semicolon; the flames that lit the bat
ties wreck. comma, shone round him
DER the dead period. That's grand;
that's inspiring. You have all the
beauty and all the sentiment, and, be-
sides, you punctuate as 'you go along,
and so mingle the artistic and the use
full"
Brown was quite taken with this new
plan for learning how to punctuate
properly. He had often felt like
brother to the fellow who wrote book
without any punctuation whatever,
simply adding in an appendix COM
plete list of punctuation marks, from
which the reader could select and
punctuate rs much or as little as he
pleased.
The first lesson wentoif swimmingly.
Brown so fell into the spirit of it that
as he walked up the street afterward
he found himself soliloquizing: 81
wonder, comma, if had better get that
paregoric comma, for the baby,
comma, before | go home, period.
Perhaps, comma'-thcn he slipped up
on n piece of banana skin and went
down fiat with two exclamation
points and enough stars to equip
several issues of ''blanset sheet"
For the first time in his
life he felt like using the dash" and
also making a dash for the miscreant
who threw that murderous peel there.
He lay on the pavement long to donate
several photographs, then got up with
difficulty and limped down the street
But the magic power of that first les
son was still upon him, and meeting a
newsboyhe began; "Well, comma, my
boy, comma, have you the Star, inter
rogation point" The sharp-eyed little
rascal stared at him curiously, and
then replied: 'Com-ah? come off.
When did yer 'scapc from tn 'sylum?"
After punctuating the town general
ly during the next two hours and get.
ting crowd of small boys at his heels,
whom he escaped by seeking refuge in
an empty school building-a place the
average boy never enters if he can help
1.-THE took home to his family some
what battered but still large supply of
punctuation.
At two a. m. his wife nudgcd him
John, John, there are burglars in the
house," "What-ah? Burglars, bur-
glarsw Now wide awake, he sprang to
the floor, exclaiming: Dearest, com
ma, will defend you, comma, even
with my hearts blood, comma, if neces-
sary, exclamation point" He then
threw open the chamber door right in
the face of two masked burglars, who
held pistols to his breast and demanded:
"Your money or your life" with one
whirl of his strong right arm, he dashed
the pistols aside, two bullets perforat-
ing the hall-window instead of his head,
as was intended. With two more
whirls of that trusty arm he sent the
burglars, as surely and swiftly
as one sentence follows another
in the mouth of two-hundred- minute
speaker, out through the window after
the bullets, remarking; There, com
ma, now, comma, you can hunt your
bullets at your leisure. period. Call
again, comma, and I'll show you how
TO punctuate better comma, but you
can't put period to my existence yet,
period.
Then, rushing back to his wife, he
exclaimed "Joy of my life, cxclama-
ton point, light of my eyes more ex-
clamation points, come to my arms,
period" They fell, weeping, upon each
others necks. Stars and dashes came in
here, denoting domestic scene too
sacred for the eyes and ears of the vul-
gar public Washington Star.