The Opelousas courier., 1892-12-10

OSdEu dud ACliiiuS duu DdSutul QlSpOSL
ton. He probably, on account of thi
latter in6rmity, had remained a bachelor,
though arrived at years of decretiou.
MIR. Brandon was a genius in his way
and natural mechanic. He had invented
a number of useful articles the most no.
table of which were the Juvenile Re,
versatile Trousers, the Corpulent's Com,
panlon and the automatic Ventilatine
Hat.
The Juvenile Reversible Trousers wera
intended to equalizu the wear and tear
of this necessary article of q boys ap.
parel, but were not a pronounced sue.
cess. The principal reason 70, the fail.
ure of this invention arose from the fact
that they being alike in front and rear.
the juvenile individual who doomed
them never knew in which direction h,
was going. q
The C0rpulent's Companion. which
consisted OF a device by which a stoul
mar could turn up the bottom OF his
trouser legs without having to stoop te
perform this duty, was likewise a failure,
For though everything worked vel
lei the weather called for the turning
up operation, no arrangements had been
made for turning them down again.
Inc consequence was that
man endowed with alder.
manic proportions had to bend his adj.
pose anatomy to IN uncomfortable angle
when ne was DESTROYS of having his pan.
falcons resume their proper position, and
thus, like the Juvenile Reversible
Trousers, the Corpulent's Companion die
not meet with unqualified success.
TIT is a long lane that has no turn
ing" and after many months of hard
work, deep thought and persevering in.
dustry, the Automatic Ventilating Hat,
an invention over which John Brandon
bad consumed many gallons of midnight
oil, was introduced to public notice, and
became the rage. It was advertised in.
diligently and John Brandon became
famous. The Automatic Hat had .
number of miniature metallic tubes in.
serted between the hat and the lining.
the air entering at one end of the tubes
and after circulating freely through them
found egress at the other END, thus the
head OF the man who was fortunate
enough to procure one of these celebrated
hats, was sure to be cool and comfort.
able.
MIR. Brand0n's business now increased
to such an extent that he invested in D
typeWriting machine and advertised for
stenographer.
The frs. applicant for the situation was
q Miss Moore, but she did not hold the
position long. A short trial of her skill
proved her unfittness for ii. John hired
Ger in the morning and discharged her
the same evening. Miss Moore's
strength, like Samson's, lay in her hair.
she wore bangs; otherwise ste was al
ordinary every Gay kind of a girl. Tbs
lightning rapiditY with which she took
down Johns notes fairly staggered that
gentleman, he being a novice at dictation.
But, alas she could not read her notes:
When che attempted to do SO the Empire
State Express speed with which she had
taken them down now slowed down 10
favorite gait of a Fifth avenue stage.
md the poor girl in her despair tore her
bangs out By the handful when trying TO
what she had written, and the
which once knew Miss Moore,
Snew her no more.
Miss Amelia Tricky, Miss Mcore.s
uccessor, wa rather short 10 stature,
what she lacked in that respect she
more than made up for in width, ia fact
ne was nearly a Jroad az she was long.
! ~stenographer Miss Tricky gave Mr..
srandon perfect satisfaction, but she
yas terribly hard on the Office Chairs.
hc manner in which they creaked and
under her weight made John so
eryous that be grew thin, and his type
continued to gain in flesh, az
hough trying TO make up for what be
ost in avoirdupois. Five chairs had
ecome total wrecks under the strain
to bear on them, and when
he sixth, the sole survivor of