Morning journal and courier., 1892-03-24
OFFICIAL.

In England they stand for Office, in this
country they run, and in both countries
they lie more or less.-On City Blizzard.
Hortense-They say getting drunk is
Mr.. Simm's great failing. Osborn-His
great failing? Why, there isn't man in
the country that can do it better.-New
York World.
"Did you like to go to Sunday schools"
asked Uncle George of little Tommy.
'Yss; an dey sang about two funny little
children" "Who were they~ ''Cherry
Bim and Sary Fimm. Puck.
sTs th'r boss inf ''Whose bosst"
| ''Yourn." 81 amt got no boss. Eff ye
mean the man what pays me S. week to
answer fool questions, he's out, and won't
be in agin till you're gone. New York
Truth.
Newspaper reporter Ito president of
| company)-Has your company taken any
steps to pay its taxesa President-Why,
| certainly, sir. We have made two protests
against the constitutionality of the law
| Texas Siftings.
"This here .hing of wimmin in politics is
the ruination of the kentry," said the man
| from Wyoming. ''It's got so now that we
| can't even hev a lynchin' without decoratin'
| the rope with ysller Iibbins an sich."-
| Indianapolis Journal.
Rector Black-I was glad to see you in
| church yesterday morning. What did you
| think of my exordium and peroration.
Mr.. Easy-Pretty good, but Rector
Black-But what1 Mr.. Easy-But they
were Just little too far apart.-Boston
Budget.
! Old man (sternly)-You want to marry
| my daughter, and yet you say you are not
rich Young man Carbohydrates it
| exactly, cir. Well. you don't expect to
support her on wind, do youl Mostly,
sir. Pm captain of a sailing vessel-De-
troit Free Press.
Merchant regret that 1 can't have
these goods charged, as don't know who
you are. Mrs. Meeter-My husband is the
plumber who is repairing the leak down
stairs now. Merchant-I beg your pardon,
madam. Your goods will be sent home at
once.-Closk Journal.
i The following letter, which was recently
picked up in the street, is full Of homely
pathos: Dear Jane: l 'ope as you will
forgive me for not larfn' at you when you
larfed at me last night. 1 ave bile under
my arm and can't larf as l would like to.
Yours affectionately, John. It'd Bits.
Sweet girl-Yes, you say you love me,
but what proof have IL How can know
that it is not papa's money that attracts
youi
Adoring youth-Proofi Do you suppose
I'd ride twenty blocks three nights week
in those Fifth avenue stages for mere
money!-Life.
Mr.. Worrier-Do you think, Alvira,
dear, that you have much love and re-
spect for me as you had for your first hus
bandit Mrs. Worrier-Well, not quite, my
love. You see, your predecessor, my dear
departed Jones, was fully head taller
than you are, and naturally had to look
up to him more than do to you.-Bostor
Courier.
Last Christmas day the vicar of a church
in large manufacturing town had been
kept busy the whole morning owing TO the
large number of weddings. He was just
leaving the church when another couple
came. The vicar was very angry, and told
them they were too late, and would have
to come another morning, but both pleaded
SO hard to be married then that he con
sented at last, saying: 81 will marry you
this time, but don't let it occur again. "
|