New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-05-28
THE TALK or TIE DAY.

THE TALK or TIE DAY.
Hiram Atkins, the unteriGed Democrat OF Vermont,
Is tasting the sweets OF the fame which is immor-
tallzlng so many eminent people these days. His
picture appears in syndicated patent medicine ad.'
together with letter from him telling how he tested
the merits" OF the aforesaid medicine, whose name
will not even darky hint at, ami found 1t to be
bang up good thing. Hiram's faith Is OF the rugged
sort MS may be inferred from the fact that he has been
confidently expecting Democratic vi:b'ry in Vermont,
10. these many years; and for that there Is
n wide field Of usefulness for him In ks new field Of
labor. Happy Hiram. I'm finding patent medicine
elixir! And happy medicine In ga!ang famous
a champion.
Pressed for Time uibble-My dear, why will yod
permit that Mrs. Rather to make q eOose Of youi
She actually kept you standing hstless at the gats
this afternoon for three-quar;ers OF an lDar.
Mrs. Q-Was IL ms lohe rs that
Mrs. Ooh, well, the dear woman ortiMn't help
IT, She hadn't time 10 come In for she tod me when
she called me down she hadn't u minute to STOP
Boston Courier.
The other day the headline editor of ~The Gin.
cinna,i ENQUIRER headed news item mathis wayl
ONLY A DOG.
But Neigllbors Hcd-and Said He Killed
The Sheep that Died.
His Master Clubbed-the Dog to shep-
Another DoS-liad Killed the
Sheep.
The Wounded Dog-wcnt Home Again-His
Head was Biulscd-and Fun Of Pain
lie Danced for Joy-whcn Master
Came-The Master Could Not
Hide Ills Shsme-So
the Master wept
"Do you know that since had inflammation of tho
brain my memory has suffered immensely For IN.
stance in three four days shant remember whab'
/ have been doing to-day"
Is 1t possibei Apropos-C0lld you lend me =
hundred marks for week !"-(Blumenlese.
one Of tho characters OF Portland Me- Is German
Jew whom any business in Maine would trust
with IS 900 II he wished 1t. He buys about 10000
worth OF drygoods and millinery Annually in job
lots and sells 1t all the state through the medium
Of some twenty-five thirty basket pedlers He
makes evidently good profit for he is worth over
s2J 600. though he cannot read o. write ana cannon
be taught 10 DO either. several times tho attempt4
has been made teach him to form the Initials OF
his name for pSpose OF Signature but nc cannot
form the letters that they can be recognized 40
SUCH lie can add and subtract and has a young man
10 keep his accounts, which he Is able 10 prove coece
or the reverse, because he has learned mat certain
combinations OF marks mean certain kinds OF lace,
etc. lie could not name the letters or any OF tne
words They are simply symbols to him.
lie sat at the dinner table
The potatoes and steak we're UNDERGONE
And the bread baked too brown,
And the roast was much too fat;
ING f ' %as hardly TS1iS 1T for for the he cat.
AT wish you could eat the bread and pic
They are sonrthins like. and twould DO you sooA
SAID the smiling wife III improve with age
Just now I'm but beginner
But your mother has come 10 VISIT us,
philadelphia News. J
Tie versatility Of tho country storekeeper is ex-
empcd by the Maine who aivertises that he deals
IN dry and fancy goods, boots and shoes, groceries,
grain feed crockery and hardware no keeps the post
Office is justice OF the peace, is conveyaneer, agent
OF an insurance company he set OF hay scales;
he has 81 Ice cool soda and other cool drinks has
famous 10 and 3 cent cigars; is agent for veryi
loud fertilizer and furnishes sristocrauo eggs for
putting under aristocratc hens. .
Il;cls-Funny fashion the women have Of wearing
T. cnnS"nens for ali ali Who want to Know the time
Wicks-On the contrary, II Is convenient for only
those who DO not want TO know the time lady's
watch never did Keep time, and now that II IS mado
10 dangc and vibrate all day 1t has harder time
than ever.-lBoston Transcript
Tho Boston Herald corrccts the current statement
that the late James r. Osgood Of the founders
OF The Atlantic Monthly and says that its originator
wa Francis IL. Underwood. lie laid his plan before
Philips sampson Co.. booksellers Of Boston, inter.
ested such men Lowell and Longfellow in the
scheme and induced Lowell TO become its editor.
Il may be said.' adds d" The Herald that Under
wood originated The Atlantic Phillips, Sampson d
Co made Il a financial possibility, Lowell edited 1t,
and Holmes DID more than any one else TO conduct
II 70 its first Success which gained In the midst d
the financial panic Of 1857 and In the face OF many
predictions to the contrary
Influence Of Mind over Matter."I am sorry to
learn that Won are so sick yol cannot possibly be In
your accustomed place tomorrow morning Miss
IIy seen said the minister's WIFE condohngly, and
slightest unessess about the solo Won were 10 sing
I'm the opening anthem Mr.. Goodman and the chorster
have anrd that Miss Comfy shall take the part
and
What
The popular soprano OF the Rev Dr.. Goodman's
church chor at once sat bolt upright In bed. Ia.
WHAT she screamed. " Thst old maih WIN
the cracked voice try TO sing my solo Never
With baud size tore The bandages OF her noad
with The csher she swept the medicine from tne
little sdc ,ole 10 the .oor, and then she kicked down.
the coverlMs. .
Tell Dr. Goodman and the chorister.' she said, IN
voice that rang through the honse hike the slNe.y
tones Of bell. . to notify Miss Comfy she neednt
gle thai solo. I'll be there!s-lChcaso tribune
There Is q cat in Portland. Ind. which associates
entirely with hens. eating everything they eat, even
u shellcd corn and night it perches itself ON
he roost alongside of the old rooster The hens have
earned TO accept the situation and now look upon
he cat as Of themselves
There is ssad 10 b, oak in the Imperial gardens
II -. Petersburg which has grown from an acorn
on AT Mount Vernon. II planted nifty years ssv
George III inner. OF Boston. the brother OF ShGies
sumner Philadelphia Ledger.
-
OUT OF TIE QUESTION, GOVERNOR
rom The Chicago Iuter-OccAn.