River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-03-17
PITH AND POINT.


An Irishman, struggling to get on
pair of new boots, exclaimed: II
shall never get 'em ON at all till wear
EN- day or two"
The other fellow is always getting
off the good thing we were just on the
point of tossing out to benighted
world.-Boston Journal.
When young man is first married
all the cake his wife makes is angel
cake to him, no matter what il may
seem like to other people.-Life.
-'Have you any ice?" asked gen.
tleman of waiter Mt a restaurant
mo, sir" was the reply; but the water
we have is three degrees colder
"A correspondent who does not give
his full name, sends us poem headed:
"Are You Weary?" We have read it at
tentively, and can truly say we are
Buffalo Commercial
We have noticed that no matter
where a man has a pain he is always
satisfied that he would be very brave
and patient If it was only somewhere
else.-Rochester Post.
One Was Enough. -Suitor-"I come
10 ask you for your daughters hand"
Her Father-"She is my only daugh-
bter" Suitor-"Well, sir, she is all
want. Yankee Blade.
There are people who enjoy dinner
n great deal more if the restaurant card
put before them is headed menu" than
If it bears the old-fashioned heading,
"bill of fare. Lowell Times.
Something in a Name. -Guest-
''How's this? A pound day! Stopped
here year ago and paid only half that
much" Proprietor-''Just so. Then
it was the McGinnis tavern; now it's
the Hotel M'Ginnis."
-Portly Dame with the aid of her
maid. struggling into her last seasons
winter jachet)-"Why, Jane, / really
believe this thing has shrunk." Yes.
MN: it is really wonderful how clothes
do shrink at your time of life. Black
stones Commentaries.
AS a matter of good form, the con-
tributor TO the newspaper now accom-
panies his manuscript with note as
surfing the editor that this submission
of the poem to him docs not necessarily
imply any lack of merit on his-the
editor's-part. Boston Post
Anxious Wife-"What is his all
inent, doctor?" Physician-'T pro-
nounce it paresis, madam" Boston
sick man (feebly)-"According tore
cent authorities, you--don't pronounce
it-correctly. The accents on the
first syllable. Chicago Tribune.
You don't know how to play chess,
do you, Mr.. Adlet?" asked Miss Skitts,
with look at the clock. which indi-
Gated 1880 p. m. why, yes. | do,
Miss SlSitts. What made YOU think
/ didn't?" "Why, you don't seem to
know when IT'S your move. Brooklyn
Life.
Paddy O'Ryan-"Plaze mum, and
wad We be afther buyin' amy noice
peraties, this day?" Lady of the
House-''But these potatoes which you
have are sunburned." Paddy-"Faix
mum, and they'll soon be hailed of thot
I've rubbed thin well with glycerine,
mum"
And do you really love me,
George?" she asked. Love your re-
peated George, fervently. "Why,
while was bidding you good-by in
the porch last night, dear, the dog bit
large piece out of the calf of my leg.
and never noticed it until got homel
Love you!"-Onee A Week.
His Misfortune, not His Fault
at is not our fault that we are red
headed and small" says western ed
itor; land the next time one of those
overgrown rural ROSTERS in a ballroom
reaches down for our head, and sug-
gests that some fellow has lost rose
bud out of his button-holc, there will
be trouble"
-Clothicr - "Why did You charge
that man six dollars for five-dollar
pair of pants?" New Clerk - "He
wanted six-dollar pair, and the
highest priced pants in the store are
five-dollar ones, so gave him pair of
those" Cloth ier-"You may consider
your salary increased from ten to
twelve dollars. "-Harper's Bazaar.