The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1892-01-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Very Lively Days in Arizona Newspaper

Very Lively Days In Arizona Newspaper
Life.
WE MEAN BUSINESS. Our contemporary
came out last week and laid claim to a
bona fide circulation Of 3,eo1 copies. We
are willing that he shall do reasonable
amount of lying, but such stupentious fal-
styling must cease.
Well bet 500 to $50 that he hasn't got
1000 circulation.
Well bet 500 to s25 shat he hasn't got
500
Well bet 800 to cent that his actual
circulation, counting in all deadheads, is
not over $50
Further, wen give him our check for
300 IL he dares to take advantage OF any OF
the above opportunities to make more
money than he has seen for twenty years
before.
Or COURSE. Massachusetts subscriber
to The Kicker writes to ask IL there are
any churches in this locality. Does he inn
agne us to belong TO the Cannibal islands?
or course there arei That is, there is one
around somewhere, and we've heard talk
of another II the writer had read his copy
OF The Kicker as closely as he ought he
would have remembered the case where
Shorty Pete sat on the church steps and
put bullet through Hank Jackson's nose
thirty yards away Churchesl We should
smilel Services have not been held very
regularly since old man Davis spent one
whole night breaking out the windows,
but the boys are liable to catch q preacher
most any day and put him ut work.
"A CANARD. The story afoat on the
streets yesterday to the effect that we
had finally killed the postmaster in this
town must have been started to affect
prices on the mule market There was
not the least bit Of truth in il. There isn't
the slightest excuse for his living but we
suppose he will continue to do so in order
to spite the 60,000,000 inhabitants of the
United States. We can't see any other OBJ
ject.
While on this subject it may be well for
us to remark that we shall visit the post
master tomorrow to inquire why in Texas
it takes four days for a copy OF The Kicker
to get down the road twelve miles. He'll
fly mad, as usual, ana will quite likely at
tempt to draw his gun on us II he does
we shall very likely decide to kill hif1 and
have done with it. Everybody says we
have delayed the matter altogether too
long for the good Of the postoflice depart
ment.s
No SToP. We understand that Colonel
Smiley, who has been down on The Kicker
ever since we showed that the capital and
assets Of 1.-THE Great Arizona Land Com
pany' consisted solely Of two acres of sand
and pair of long legged boots, spent more
than two hours the other day trying to get
Jim Taylor to stop his subscription to this
paper The object was to make us feel
bad, but it didn't work. Jim not only
dotes on The Kicker, but can't hardly wait
for publication day to come around. Be
sides he tried it on us last summer and
how did he come outp 1t took us half
day to find him, but after he was found it
didn't take him two minutes to subscribe
again. We don't compel man to sub
scribe, but after he's become subscriber
he has got to have mighty good reasons for
throwing up his hand. Indeed, he's got to
own mule that can outrun ours
RETRAcTIoN.-The policy of The Kicker
since the first issue has been to state
things fairly and truthfully, and whenever
we have discovered thata published item
has done any one injustice we have not been
slow to follow it with an explanation salts
factory to the party aggrieved Last week
we had local item to the effect that some
miserable wretch had robbed Major Smiths
clothesline of four shirts, and we INDUCED
IN tne nope tnaJ ne WOulu speedily De
caught and given q dance on the head of
barrel.
1t seems that we were mistaken, and the
major feels that he has been placed in
false position to the public. The fact is, al
he wishes us to state, he ..5es not own four
shirts, but only two, and neither of theseis
a white one. They are old blue flannel
shirts, much the worse for wear What
was really stolen was a Navajo Blanket,
and we are glad to make this retraction
and set the major right before this com
munity.-M. Quad in New York World
The ''Lion'' and the Giraffe.