Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-01-28

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS
Many ODD. Curions. and Lsushsbis
Phase. Of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed By Eminent Word Arfists %
Our Own Day.
NO way out Of IL.
Brigps-@I hear that Mr.. and Mrs
missed the steamer TO Flor
ida because her gown wasn't done
Griggs-aWhat did they do, take
the next steamer" .-.N
.Briggs--"No. They had TO pay the
Cloak Review.
She Knew the Rest.
He was getting SO week at the
and he had proposed
to the girl. She knew his financial
and rejected him. 600
There's nothing in life to me now"
he walled, except wormwood and
gall.
"Ah," she replied with a sheer,
"may ask where you get the worm
od?"-Detroit Free Press. 80 ~
A Good Way to Try Him.
Mr.. Woodware--Th young fellow
you have in your ONCE is the most
conceited puppy / ever ran across.
Mr.. Queensware-Yes, / know; but
you must remember he Is young yet
and his character is not fully formed.
He has never been tried by fire.
Woodware-Then you'd better fire
News.
Unexpected Result.
There" he said fondly, Gust to
show you how much thought of you
L took your picture with my new in
Simultaneous camera. Here it is"
"Do you think it looks like 'me?"
she inquired, almost tearfully.
"Why-er-yes, or course"
'"Then all is over. can not be
yours. 1t must be my money and
not myself that you seek. New
York Sun.
An Important ITEM.
Alienist-I see nothing in the
patient to denote insanity.
Inquirer-You're sure of that, are
you, Doctor? I'm particular about
this thing, you know, because she is
my wife.
Alienist-Oh! Is that so? That's
though even that mayin-
dictate only temporary alteration.
Boston Transcript.
Asking TOP Much. $, ss's.tY
Ticks-I wish you would buy a
ticket to the concert tomorrow night.
1t is to be benefit for Mr.. Screecher;
he's just lost his wife, you know: s
Wickles-Just lost his wife? Well,
how many benefits does he want.--
Boston Courier. l 80
His Reputation. f}fll Htsi
A seedy-loolIing citizen passed by
an Office window on Woodward
avenue where couple OF men were
looking out. In* uST
isn't that Bill Smith?" inquired
one Of them, evidently nota resident.
"Yes. He used to be quite a poll
tician when you were here, but his
is completely lost now"
us that so? Well, if it was any
thing like it was when l knew him
should think il would have made a
good deal better man of him TO have
lost it. Detroit Free Press.
What Next?
"Adolph has proposed, papa" she
told her father. bst
HE has," commented the old man.
sand he's now anxious to wed, is he?
Well, well. First he studied paint
ing, then he tried TO build airships;
next they put him in an insane asy-
lum and at present he wants to mar
ry you. Exchange.
Her Selection.
Mrs. De Fine-"Here's my new bon
net. Isn't it darling. Only S28."
Mr.. De Fine-"Great snakes! You
said bonnets could be bought at from
SO up" .ls -
Mrs. De Fine-"Yes, dear. This is
one of the ups" - New York
Weekly.
A Frivolous. set 4, .i.f ~ 90
"These firemen must be frivolous
SET" said Mrs. Spillikins, who was
reading paper.
"Why SOP"
Il read in the paper that after the
fire was under control the tlremen /
played all night on the ruins. Why
didn't they go home and go to bed
like sensible men, instead of romping
about like children?"- Scraps.
New Boarder. f-
Jinks-That fellow Sillipate is the
most foolish, inexcusable fool / ever
saw.
Winks-What has he been doing to
you?
Jinks-A few days ago some one
invited him to dinner at our board
ing-house. Well, sir, that idiot just
praised every dish on the table, and
n n u