davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
COULDN'T EAT.
And Yet There Was no Occasion for
Anxiety.

A certain literary German whose
manner OF speaking was extremely de-
liberate. and who disapproved OF i'm
petuosity of any sort under any cir
cumstances, had an amusing expert
ence IN restaurant one day. He was
a well-known figure among the patrons
OF this particular restaurant as ho
seldom dined anywhere else, and he
generally was served by waiter who
had became used to his way OF speak
ing; but the other day new waiter
took his order, and brought his soup
Il can not eat this soup" said the
gentleman slowly not looking up
from his plate. after he had summoned
the waiter for the second time. The
man seized the offending dish before
the customer could finish the sentence,
and vanished with it He reappeared
in moment with another
supply Of the very same soup
which he placed before the gentleman,
and then stood regarding him with an
anxious face wondering what could
be the reason the soup remained I'M
tasted. II can't eat this soup" again
slowly remarked the literary man.
why not sirP What is the matter?"
stammered the unhappy waiter. who
had been told he was serving an i'm
portant person. Il can not eat this
soup" said the literary genius, calmly,
for the third time. because have not
as yet been provided with spoon.
And looking up to catch the expression
OF relief on the walters face he In
dulged in the low chuckle which was
the only expression OF amusement to
which he ever gave way.---The Argon-
aut
What Would Have Happened.
Excited Stranger-Sayl lost $50 goh
piece along here somewhere. You haven
seen it have youl
Hungry Higgins Do look like had fell
dead l&tsly7
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
TERRIBLE CIR uELrY.0
The Brutal Treatment Of Little
Oirl by q Nebraska ShreW.


Oirl by a Nebraska Shrew.
Some time ago Mrs. Cora Whit mcr,
of Rogers, Neb., took Emma Walker, a
5-year-old child, to raise. She treated
her in brutal manner until the neigh
bors interfered. A number of citizens
went to Mrs. Whitmer's house and
found the girl tied to the bed with a
wire. They released her and she told
tale of brutal abuse. When Mrs.
Whitmer learned this she administered
terrible beating to the child, break
ing one of its arms and injuring its
spine. The agonizing cries of the chilA.
saved its life The town marshal ar
rested the virago and when placed on
trial she offered to plead guilty to as
sault and battery, but she was bound
over to court on charge of assault
with intent to kill The people are
terribly excited and talk of lynching,
whipping and tar and feathers is being
INDUCED in. The woman Is now in
Jail and win be kept there to keep her
out of the peoples hands. The child
will die
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
KlSMET.

Never were kisses SO sweet as hers, -
Never were words so tender,
Never were eyes so full of light,
Never waist so slender.
Never again will her lips meet mine,
Forever we two are parted
Oh, how / miss henry love--to. night,
As sit here broken hearted!
Only trifie wrought my WOO,
Only fate malicious,
Only thoughtless word or two,
Only an answer vicious
Only sulphurous little scene
When we both turned green and yellow,
And now, by lingo, she's been and gone
And married another fellow
--Somervills Journal
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

It's the big, old : fashioned pill
that makes the most disturbance =
but it's one of DR.. Pierce's Pleasant
Pellets that does the most good.
Mild and gentle, but thorough and
effective-the smallest, cheapest and
easiest to take. They cleanse and
regulate the liver, stomach and
bowels.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Office of the MIlburn Wagon CO., c. f.
Milburn, President, Toledo, o., Sept.
10, 1889.
Brandycrotine Mfg. Co., Macon, Ga,
Gentlemen: While in Atlanta / was
taken with a severe headache, such as
] have been accustomed to have for a
number of years back, they coming on
as often as two or three times week.
A friend of mine advised me to use
'Brandycrotine," saying it would sure
ly cure it. | bought one bottle and il
had the desired result. Before leaving
Atlanta bought dozen bottles and
brought them home with me, intending
to distribute them among friends OF
mine, which / did. The results were
gratifying in the extreme. bought
another dozen direct from you and dis
tributed these with like result. / am
now on the third dozen, and will say
that everybody who has used it speaks
in the highest terms of it.
Respectfully yours,
G. f. MILBURN
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

To go out of doors in rough weather is not
strong, but we are, many of us, compelled
to face rough weather frequently. Diseases
which arise from chill are peculiar to NO
season of the year. This is true
therefore there should be in the
closet . of every household what
Not an unmedicated stimulant, alb
solutely devoid of anything but an excitive
action, but tonic combining in the effec
tive form of an invigorant and an altera
tive, the quality of defense against changes
of weather. Hostettor's Stomach Bitters
has three or four properties that no other
article of its class possesses. Not only does
il relieve the complaints which 1t eventu
ally cures, it fortifles the system against
the bad effects of changes of temperatures
fatally and too often shown in the deadly
form of ia grippe;" it produces radica
change in the weakened condition OF a sys
tenn peculiarly liable to be attacked by it
and it tends to provide against the danger
resulting from an impoverished condition
of the blood and disordered state of the
liver or bowels.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

There is no doubt that eggs can be more
surely Matched early in the season by means
of an incubator than under hen. Later on,
as the weather gets warmer, the hen will
hatch almost as many as the incubator. But
it is the early Matched chicks that bring
profit to the poultry raiser, hence tho popu-
larity of the incubator and breeder. If you
make money out of broilers in this latitude
or further north, secure your appliances at
once. As q means to that end write Geo. H.
Stahl, Quincy, Ill.,, whose advertisement
appears in this paper, for full information.
No one can succeed who does not keep
abreast with mechanical or other improve
ments. This improved incubator is one OF
the greatest inventions of the age.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
She Knew the Difference.

The Boston papers continue to re-
port anecdotes which show that the
children of the city are not likely soon
to lose their reputation for superior
taste and intelligence.
A four year-old girl created laugh
the other night in one OF the public
parks. The band did not arrive so
promptly as she expected, and she
began to fear that it would not come
at all. .......
"Never mlnd," said her father con-
solingly, ''if it doesn't come III sing
you q song"
al don't want you to sing, persist
ed the discriminating child, ~ want
soiae music. boston Transcript.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

utes the labor OF weeks was as naught.
Then as he left the barbers the very
.irst man he met whom he knew ex.
cl:..ned:
What shaved your whiskers Off
What fool you were; you looked
ever so much better with them on. -
Texas Siftings.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
OUR SHORTHAND CLASS
CONDUCTED BY ELDoN MORAN.

Apractical course in twelve easy lessons.
Pitman System. Membership only 81.
Persons wishing to join should remit
promptly Information cheerfully given.
Address Secretary University Extension,
Box 800, st. Louis, Mo.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Made aceU

MUQ6 2CeB
the weak, nervous or ailing woman
who takes DIR. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. It's a medicine that's
guaranteed to help her. It's an in
MIGRATING, restorative tonic, sooth-
ing cordial and bracing nervine -
and a certain cure for all the func-
tional arrangements, painful disor-
ders or chronic weaknesses that
affect women. For alterations, dis
placements, bearing-down sensations,
everything that's known as q "fe-
male complaint" it's an unfailing
remedy. It's peculiar one, too.
Peculiar in composition, peculiar in
its cures, and peculiar in the way
it's sold. It's guaranteed to give
satisfaction, in every case, or the
money is refunded. You pay only
for the good you get.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
TWO Cents Per Mile,

An ever-ready ticket is the Cincinnati,
Hamilton & Dayton railroads Thousand
Mile Book, sold at $50, and good over
all divisions of the c., Ii. & ID. r. r.,
and the following roads: Buffalo &
Southwestern, Chicago SC Erie and n.
p, p. & o. divisions of the Erie rail-
way; Dayton & Hamilton; FIT. Wayne,
Cincinnati g. Louisville; Indianapolis,
Decatur & Western; Lake Erie & West
ern; Louisville, New Albany & Chicago;
Terre Haute & Peoria; Toledo, Ann
Harbor & Northern Michigan; Wheel
ing & Lake Erie; Vandalia Line; Cleve-
land & Canton; st. Louis, Alton &
Terre Haute; Cincinnati, Jackson &
Mackinaw; and Cincinnati, Portsmouth
81 Virginia railways. These books are
ON sale at all c., Ii. & ID. offices or can
be obtained by addressing +. o. Nc
Cormick, G.. p. &c 4. agent, Cincinnati,
Ohio.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Uncle SANS Employees.

Uncle Sam has an army OF $50. 900
people in his employ. More than 80
per cent OF these have been added to
the service during the last decade.
Their salaries range from $50. 900 paid
the president to the 81. 90 q year some
postmastars receive.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Mr.. John G.. Feriman, Albion, Illinois,
writes on Jan. 10th. 1891: MY wife has
been great sufferer from headaches for
over 20 years, and your BrandycrotineI Is the
only medicine that has ever relieved her.
can get you all the recommendations you
want from here. We take great pleasure
in recommending il on all occasions
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Needs assistance it may be best to render it
promptly, but one should remember to use
even the most perfect remedies only when
needed. The best and most simple and
gentle remedy is the Syrup Of Figs, manu-
featured by the California Fig Syrup Co.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Il have been occasionally troubled with
Coughs and in each case have used
Browns Bron chial Troches. which
have never failed, and must say they are
second to none in the world. '-Felir A.
Han Cashier 81. PuN, Hmm.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
The MidWlnter Girl.

Brave midwinter roses
Bloom red in her cheeks.
Where the winds kiss discloses
The posies he seeks.
There's fine faery clangor,
A wedding bell tone,
All about her; her languor g.
OF lounging is flown.
"Incedit reginar'
No queen to her throne
Walks with majesty finer,
Yet all of her own! f
Oh, where in all nature
Is beauty like hers
A flower-fair creature
So bonny mid furs!
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Il ttNs - afAfh . 'ff+
No one remedy in al
the world has done SO
much to relieve the
suffering of her sex,
Her compound goes to
the very root Of Female
Complaints, drives oui
disease, and re-invigo,
rates the entire system,
All Druggists sell il, nr sen
by mail, In form of Pills q
lOZenges. on receipt Of al 90
Liver Pills, csc. Core
spondcncS freely answered
Address In confidence,
LYDIA l.. PINEIIAa MED. Co.
LYNN, MASS.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Obeyed ORDERS.

Mrs. Naggsby Gmpatiently Mora, drop
everything at once and come to me!
Nora-Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Naggsby-Now,w what is baby cry.
ing for?
Nora-Cause dropped him, mum.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

"Ho!'' sneered Willie, 'our baby's got
teeth N yours hasn't"
Il don't care" retorted Jimmie, 'ours
don't need any, coz we feed him on soup in
N bottle -
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Tho boy stood on the burning deck, and
the wind was very high. But he was calm
and serene. Whyl He had a small bottle
of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup in his pocket, he
did indnad
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
An Aid to Memory

~ know way to remember my lessons, !"
said Jimmie. II know TT whenever
see it, because It is II with roof on it.
An r. is 'P' with till to it, A o. is
an 90 with another tail to it, and W. is
an M turned upside down.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Not Much ola Taiker,

'sWell, Tommy" said the visitor, show
do you like your baby brotherl"
''Oh, lots and lots--only don't think he's
very bright
why not!"
"We've had him most two weeks now and
he hasn't said word to anybody"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

daily paper, to the scribe, Eve are glad to
notice your excellent merit in reporting
the dog fight of last night. We have con-
cluded to let you represent US In the legis-
lature next winter .
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Streams become full because their heads
get swollen, but man reverses the order.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

For sick headache, dizziness or swim
ming in the head pain in the back, body,
or rheumatism, take Beecham's Pills
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

When Baby was sick, we gave her castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to castoria,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Every Thursday night, leaving Des
Moines at 9:10 p. M, the Chicago, st. Paul
e. Kansas City railway will have through
tourist sleeping car to San Francisco, Cal.
Full particulars by calling on or address
ing III. Green, general agent, 230 Fourth
street, Kirkwood house.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

No matter what man says In church,
you can tell where he lives by what he
talks about the most
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

You Find the Word?
There Is 3-inch display advertisement in
this paper this week which has no two words
alike, except one word. The same is true OF
each new one appearing each week, from the
DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This house places q
"Cresccnt' on everything they make and pub
fish. Look for it. Send them the name OF
the word, and they will return you Book,
BEAUTIFUL LITHoGRAPHs OF SAMPLES FREE.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

LADIES sl2 a week right at home, Pleasant en-
ployment Send stamp. Franco American Co.,
265 Dearborn, ST., Chicago.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Frank x. Conway, Engineman OF No. A
Engine, Baltimore City Fire Dept, says:
Salvation OIL knocks rheumatism higher
than kite"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

FITS.-All Fits stopped free by DR., KLISRs GREAT
Nerve Restorer. No Fit after hrst day use Mar
velous Treatise and 800 trial bottle free to
Fit cases. Send 70 DE Kline. 93l Arch St. Phia, Pa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

HYGIENE HAIR GROWER room 300. PCS Dear
born ST., Chicago, cures dandrun prevents hair
falling and brings hair bald heads 75c. post paid
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

If handwriting is an index of character
some men ought to feel afraid to go to bed
with themselves. -.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

LEAP YEAR list Ladies' desiring gentlemen cor
respondents, lOc. Box 40, Des Moines, Ia.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

lydia +. Pinkham
devoted a life's
study to the subject
Of Female c ON
plants, working al
waysfrom the stand
point of reas on,
with a firm belief
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Enemies have their uses-they may not
do much for u.s. but they make us do a
great deal for ourselves.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Young for His Years.

Visitor-How old are you, Teddy1
Teddy-Teddy's4 years old.
Aunte.rOh, Teddy! Now you know you
Teddy--Yes, Auntie, but can only count
IN four
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
How to Hatch Chicks,

The other fellow is always getting off the
good thing we were just about tossing on a
benighted world.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

It may have been observed that coasting
as an amusement has its drawbacks
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

There are still too many people who en-
joy seeing a tin can tied to the tail Of some
other mans dog.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

The exercising of horses just before the
race is the preamble.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

When a man tells you he would like to
have you criticize his faith you have found
another hypocrite.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
When N ature

Man may want but little here below, but
he makes an awful fuss because he doesn't
oat
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Learn TO Write. Trial Lesson by Mail
only 25 cents. Write W. G. Chaffee, Oswego N. Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Roll Up Your sleeves.

Roll Up Your Sleeves,
What's the use In grievin'
Over these hard times;
'Busin' 'em an weavfn'
OF yer mournful rhymesl
Amt q bit o. good In 1t,
Neither bread nor wood in it,;
But the way to do
Roll yer shirt sleeves higher up,
Till you jes' perspire up
Loose the brakes and fire up,
Then 60 steamin' through.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

The street car conductor may be well
met, but he is not always q success as
s'hail fellown
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Through Sleeping Car to San Fran
cisco, California.

What an awful thing it must be for a
mule to have cold ears.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Obesity may be no social disqualified
ton, but it is undoubtedly bad form.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

1t is the man who has plenty Of sand who
displays the most grit.
Marrying for wealth is gambling in
boarding house futures.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Adams fall is supposed to have hap
pened late in the afternoon--at the APP
proach OF Eve.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
A WOman'S
Remedy
for WOnan's
Diseases.

that a "7U0man best understands a 7coman's
Ills" That she has done her work well IS
plainly indicated by the unprecedented
success of her great female remedy called
I,,Iir 4 PiuLhnn'c ILrrhI6Ls COmton,rE
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Kemps Balsam will stop the cough at once. Go
to your druggist to-day and get sample bottle
free. large bottles 50 cts. and sl.0O. d.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

V0Y can buy o large lot In Muskegon, Mich. four
Il blocks from ~ immense factories for Sl65. Only
IS cash. Send your name and get Plats and Views
free. Write .. NJ. Steele a Sons. Muskegon. Mich.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

It's funny that education should lift 9
man when it causes him to get lore.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Epitath on a Pug Dog.


Poor Bobby, with turned up tail and nose
Has gone at last and turned up his toes.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

"Hnnson's Magic Corn snIye."
Warranted TO cure, or money refunded. ASK
your druggist for 10. Price is cents. N
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

A man of words is not apt to be man of
many deeds in real estate.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Mans fondness for sharing his misfor-
tunes is equaled only by his proneness to
exhibit his good luck.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Mrs. winsIow's soothing syrup, Tor Chill
dren tccthng, softers the gums, reduces infamma
ton nlInys pnin. cures wind collie. Csc. bottle.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Please Read the Following.

Death loves shining mark, but bald
headed men seem to live long time all
the same.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

The benediction always arouses awakened
interest -#@w &
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

The grip is the only thing that can
make some tough people feel meaner than
they are.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
Deafness Can,t be Cured

When there Is anything extra going on
the newsboy is always ready to meet the
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
The Only One Ever Printed--Can
You Find the Word?

They probably call the sea treacherous
because it beats the banks
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11
DIR. C. GEE WO

lfy-In applying TO any OF the above adver-
tlsers, do not forget to say that you saw the
advertisement in this paper
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1892-02-11

Sold by druggists, rs cents.