Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1892-09-16

WHAT
"My dear wife, I meanp'
"Ah, yes. What were you about to re
mark"
my cigars-I''-
"Oh, well, I don't like smoke-ncver
did"
"But what are you doing with my slip
pers?"
''Trying 'em on-they fit me so nicely.
Guess I'll keep 'em, Senlpronus. I wish
you'd take all these coats and things out
of the WARDROBE want it for my dresses"
"But where shall I keep them, Miss
PAP
"What did you say?"
'Mrs. Teller, would remark"
"Oh, under the bed or somewherel Pink
soap, eh?-I prefer castile-cologne-
man-cold cream! Who'd "a supposed you
were such dandy, Sempronius? You
must have plenty of money. By the way,
suppose you give me the money to keep
now, my dear! I'll manage it great deal
more economically than you'll be likely
to-"
"But"-
"Give me the money, I say!"
Major Teller meekly put his hand into
his pocket and submissively handed over
the purse.
"Well, now, you'd better go about your
business" said the gentle bride, land not
come home till teatime-I do abominate
men lounging around in the way forever,
and don't come back smelling of tobacco,
if you know what is good for yourself,
Sempronius Teller"
The major crept silently away, thinking
how, the last time he crossed that thresh-
old, he was free man, and now
''I'm marriedp' unused Major Teller. II
couldn't help it. 1t wasn't my fault, but
here am, no money, no cigars, no freedom
worse than any galley slave. Sixty years
old next month, and-married to Patience
Pettigrew!"
He walked disconsolately down the
street, both hands in his empty pockets
and his hat tipped recklessly down over
his eyes. A greater contrast could hardly
have been imagined than existed between
this slovenly, seedy, wrctched looking man
and the trim, cheerful little Major Teller
of six hours ago! He caught a f1eeting
glimpse of himself in mirror belonging
to some picture frame store as he sauntered
by-it startled even himself.
IT wouldn't have known myself" he
muttered gloomily. "Well-Tm married
now-married to Patience Pettigrewp'
He stopped at the street corner, uncer-
tain which way to go. But as he gazed the
bright, steely glimpse of the river caught
his eye.
Cali right" muttered Sempronius mood
lily. cpl go and drown myself; it's short
way out of long lane of difficulty. Any
thing but going back to-Patience Petit
grew!'
He went down with long, determined
strides toward the shining, broad stream.
where the ships lay peacefully at anchor
and the little boats shot hither and thither
and the waves sparkled up like sheets of
diamonds. All these things Major Teller
saw without marking them, as he made
resolutely for the pier.
"Want boat, sir?" demanded sturdy
man.
eyes," said the major; IT want Charon's
boat, to row me over StyxP'
'Don't know him, sir" said the puzzled
boatman, ''but mines sound and light
and"-
The major waited to hear no more, but
gave blind, downward jump!
Down, down with that peculiar sensa-
ton of falling SO familiar to us all-down
-down-until-
BEG pardon, sir, but the church is going
to be shut up, and everybody's gone. Hope
you have had good nap, STRIP
The sexton spoke satirically, but in his
tones Major Teller recognized hope and
freedom. He started wildly to his feet.
''Then am not married, after all, sex
ton?"
Married, sir! Not unless you have been
married in your dreams!'
"That's it, exactly" calculated the ma
jor, jumping up; "Pve been asleep and
dreaming!"
Major Teller satisfied the sexton with
donation whose liberality astonished even
that parsonage, and went at once to the
- hotel to engage rooms.
'I'll send for my things" he thought.
IT won't go back to that house, lest Miss
Jatience Pettigrew should do something
desperate. Pm not married, and don't
mean to be marriedp'
The major was right. Discretion is the
better part of valor-and Miss Patience
Pettigrew- remains Miss Patience Petit
grew still! But Major Teller goes to
church very regularly now!-True Flag.
Successful Fan Painters.
The costly part Of fine fans is the paint
ing. Only very few clever artists in
Paris have attained reputation as fan
painters, and many great master in ol>
would not dare risk his name in such work
Detaille has painted few fans with his
characteristic military figures and one OF
the fans was sold in New York for great
sum. But Detailie seldom essays such
work LIE Loire painted fan that sold il
New York for IS. 600 Madeleine Lemair.
occasionally paints fan, but it is seldon
ased except for wall decoration. Her prices
for such work are from s. COG to S.. 900.
There Is a host Of comparatively un
known artists whose work, excellent in its