Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1892-09-15

bDcy WOuiu HOb ildNc any TlC1 uHCleS
very long. Dallas News.
The man who crooks the elbow"
habitually is the same fellow who
takes it straight. boston Courier.
WHERE did Bright spend his hon
ey-m0ou?" honeymoon, you mean;
he married SO, 900, 900. Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
THE recent activity in the comet
market makes it appear that the as
stronomers' business is looking up. -
Buffalo Express.
THE college commencement season
is time when the happy senior is in
excellent spirits and often vice versa
-Elmira Gazette.
FAIR AMATEUR-"Yes l painted
this. What school of painting would
you call it?" Artist gently
Boarding school," - New York
Weekly.
CoRBETT has been examined by a
doctor and pronounced perfect. 1t
now seems assured that he and John
l.. will whip each other. Columbus
Post.
WHEN the druggists clerk is treat
ing his best girl to soda he is apt to
forget to put cents in the till. for he
is engaged in syruptitious business -
Boston Transcript.
WOULDN'T the impecunious young
man be happy during ice-cream season
if the girls mouths were no bigger
than fashion-plate makes them APP
pear?- Bradford Era.
THE man who devotes too much
time to trying to see both sides of a
subject is in danger of contracting a
mental strabismus that will prevent
his seeing anything clearly. - Wash
iiRton Star
lis SMITHINs a smart lawyer"
@Very. Man went to him with a
case involving $3.50. Said he was
willing to spend 81 500 to get it back.
Smithins made him out a bill right
Oft for 81, $50. Brooklyn Life.
THERE is good brother in Topeka
who is such a Sa5batarian that he
won't ride in the street cars on Sun
day, and he is so close listed that he
won't ride in them other days, so he
walks all the time Topeka Journal.
HUNKER's INJUDICIoUs REMARK.
-Gazzam-"That was a bad slip of
the tongue on Hunker's part" Mad
dox-"Yes, he had just eaten a
banana. Puck.
"Is BRONSON as forgetful as ever?"
More so. Why, that fellow has to
look himself up in the directory every
night before he goes home from bust
ness. Forgets his address "--Harper's
Bazaar
ToM-"Jessie has something of the
military air about her." Jack
"Never noticed it. What?" Tom
"T'he agility with which she flies to
arms. New York Herald.
EVERY man who takes part in your
procession expects in return that you
will some day blow horn in the band
in his procession.-Atc Globe.
SOMETIMES a man is justified in
feeling that "the most unkindest cut
of all" applies to the picture of him
that appeared in the newspaper
Washington Star.
FATHER That cat made an awful
noise in the back garden last night.
Arnold-Yes, father; | think that
since he ate the canary he thinks he
can sing. -Tid-B Bits.
Pearl-Does he love you? Madge
Pm sure he does; spilled some
strawberry ice-cream over his new
lavender trousers the other night, and
he never said even "Great C8sar!-
Brooklyn Eagle.
@RUN for de doctor, quick! Help!
help! Dot baby has swallowed a
nickel, exclaimed Mrs Schaumburg.
"Mein Colt! you make so much fuss
as If 1T vas $40 gold piece, Repec-
ca, replied Moses. Siftings.
THAT was great downfall" said
the barber when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip.-Wash-
ington Star.
This is an application Tor relief"
as the man said when be stuck the
porous plaster on his pain. --Phila-
delphia Record.
The sphere of woman may indeed
be boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to barbed wire
fence. RAMS Horn.
SATAN-"Did you torture him
well?" Asmodeus-"Yes." Satan
What did you do?" Asnodeus-"I
asked him if it was hot enough for