St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1892-08-27
THE CORRECT READING.

pensc- Boston Courier.
VALUE OF SMALL BOYS.
Mrs Watts-Mary Ann, these balusters
seem always dusty. Twas at Mrs. John
sons to-day, and her stair rails are as
clean and as smooth as glass.
Mary Ann-Yis, mem. She has tree
shmall boys. - indianapolis journal.
ANTICIPATED HIM, AND lie WAS MAD.
The day was hot; no breath of air
Our glowing faces famed,
And every hour we breathed prayer
For breezes soft and bland.
We saw him coming up the way
And knew at once what he would say;
So we, with smiles addressed him thus:
1No; 'tisnt hot enough for u.s.
: New York Press.
LOVES LAST REQUEST.
''Then you positively refuse my love,
Alicia, and we are henceforth and for
ever to be strangers to each other:' he
asked sadly.
Yes, Mr.. Oldboy, I cannot marry you,
and it is therefore better that we should
part"
Then, Alicia, if this is to be our final
parting, Unjust ask if you will-will--'
BE sister to you2 Oh, yes, Mr..
Oldboy, with pleasure
'1No, no." he answered wildly, you
misunderstood Will you please return
MY"
'tCan you ask for the few paltry pres
ents you have given me?"
''Suspenders.' gasped the unhappy
man, my new blue suspenders you Dor
rowed to wear with your yachting suit. :"
But she hung her head in despair.
How could she tell him they were
.'busted?"- Detroit Free Press.
GRATEFULLY ACKNOWLEDGED.
Harry, love-" said Mrs. Noopop,
when her husband came from the office
one afternoon. Il received a lovely let
ter from papa today
"Ah" replied Noopop.
eyes. He congratulates us on the
birth of our dear baby"
''Thats good"
eyes, and he says it will cost us more
to live now-that babies are expensive
II suppose that is very true" the
happy father assented.
and so dear papa sent US check for
$1,000. Wasn't that good of him"
II should say it vast exclaimed Moo
pop, enthusiastically. III sit right
down and thank him for his generous
contribution to the Fresh Heir Fund. -
New York Life.
KEPT HIM UP
Mrs. Bingo-What made you stay out
so late last night?
Bingo-I went to christening with
Bitter.
Mrs. Bingo-Why, he hasn't any chill
dren that want christening.
Bingo (meekly)-No. But he has a
new lit New York Herald.
THE PLEDGE.
took the pledge the other day
Alas! l kept it not.
Twas the pawnbroker that kept it,
And still that pledge he's got
Judge.
TOO SMART FOR CHpLLY.
"Girls know too much nowadays"
':What makes you say that!'
"You remember when | asked Mis-;
Brown to copy me some verses? In real
ity only wanted her handwriting to reac
her character by"
s'Well?'
"Well, here are the verses, but shes
copied them ON the typewriter. 81 Brook
! In Life.
| THE QUESTION ANSWERED.
Hungry Higgins (reading the displa.
line of patent medicine advertisement
in a newspaper he has picked up)-Does
what you eat distress you2
Weary .Watkins-Naw. Not near 81
much as wot l don't eat Brooklyn
Life.
| ALWAYS POPULAR.
| There is an old, old story,
! Which many a heart has stirred,
And no one murmurs Chestnut"
Wheneer this tale is heard.
HIS NIGHTMARE.
First Tramp-Say, Bill, yer look al
broke up; yer must have slept too long
Second Tramp-Yer see, | dreamt
was workin', and was afraid to wake VI
for fear it might be CLOAK Jour
| nal.
IN BAD HUMoR.
| Nv PHYLLIS met me at the door,
A look of woe her features wore;
Said she, 81 think you'd best go back,
For pa has stepped on carpet tack
TO BE SURE.
He-Yes, every night before going t
bed write down my thoughts.
she-You use blank book, don
you?-[ Judge. .....
HE KNEW HIS BUSINESS.
| "say. Bill, why don't you marry Mi:
Smithers2'
| "Oh, l can't"
eyes, YOU can. You're well off an
she's willing, I'll bet. F."
s'But''-
| ooh. I know all about bachelor
rights, but you've no idea of the com
forts of home Now 60 in for her lik
a man."
"Can't think of it possibly"
"And YOU won't marry hcr?'
'sNo."
'tSures"
eyes"
'Why nGt?"
GIVE already married her. u Chicag
News.
!