The morning call., 1892-12-11
SOCIETY BURDENS.
Local Hostesses Discuss
Social Duties.
is ENTERTAINING A TASK
Questions of Etiquette for Both Sexes
Brightly Considered From San
Francisco Standpoint.


Brightly Considered From a San
Francisco Standpoint.
San Francisco society is known in the
Eastern States as peculiarly pleasant, but
also as unique Of its kind. why is this7
Eastern visitors remark upon the absence
of rigid form and the free-Rnd-easy plan
OF entertainmenth here rs delightful Cali
fornisn h os pitality," In California, they
say, Invitations hardly require an answer,
nobody thinks OF paying duty calls, nor is
there any strict qualification required to
obtain an entree to any particular circle.
Above all, they declare, there seems to
be no idea Of reciprocity in entertain
ment. These floating charges are of seri-
Gus moment to San Francisco society, and
"The Call'' has collected some repre-
sentative ideas regarding them. They
would seem to be somewhat borne out by
the prevalent local belief that the role of
San Francisco hostess IS a d fioult one
TO play. The question is stIll open
one, but at present the general indict-
Inent seems to lie against the San Fran
cisco men. The men appear 20 largely
leave their social duties to the ladies and
TO think that mere appearance any
whera is favor on their part. This, IL
true, is a heavy Indictment, however
pleasantly it may be touched upon by the
ladies whose views are given below.
Mrs Judge Wallace is of the opinion that
social duties are. as a whole. extremely
pleasant. Naturally some forms of enter
tainment are more enjoyable than others.
In her opinion balls and at ONES. with
dancing. varied by music, yield the most
entertainment to old and young alike.
The young enjoy taking part and the old
enjoy looking on; while the strain upon the
hostess is very slight indeed.
dinner party is, in her estimation, a
more serious affair. Given guests who are
intellectual enough TO enjoy conversation
as a fine art in addition TO the banquet, a
dinner is the highest form Of entertain
ment. but even then the duty of selecting
and pairing Of the right people is a serious
one for the hostess.
Ladies' lunches Mrs. Wallace considers
the least alluTing form Of social entertain
ment, although she owns that San Fran
cisco society is composed almost entirely of
ladies. The men she considers are 10 blame
for this.
What more pretty and informal than an
afternoon tea?
Ii London and New York the male ele-
ment is largely represented at this form Of
amusement
Mrs. Wallace considers it pity that San
Francisco men. when their days duties are
over, instead Of going to the clubs, do not
take an occasional cup of tea with lady
friends.
In the same way she regrets, for the sake
of society, that the married men DO not
help more to receive at home, or visit with
their wives and daughters instead OF leav-
Ing to the latter nearly all the social duties
Another prominent society lady smiled
at the idea of social duties in San Francisco
being fatiguing.
"a leader in society,"" she observed,
''means one who gives up her entire time
and energies TO social duties.
She must take the initiative In balls, din
neTs and every form Of entertainment that
becomes the fashion.
in London or New York this is pleasant.
but very hard work. At present in San
Francisco the post of a social leader is little
more than a sinecure.
Ten or twelve years ago." she continued,
when Mrs. Gwin and Mrs. McMullin kept
open house, we were much more gay. and,
- believe, that eight or ten years hence,
when San Francisco has grown more, we
shall be gay again.
One reason for our present rep0se is that
we Californians are great travellers: we
think nothing of going to London or New
oTk for our social diversions.
Il consider dinners decidedly the pleas
anest form of entertainment" she said. SIT
is compliment 10 ask guest to your table.
y ball means A crowd. and a guest who &C
cepts n invitation to a ball does me a ia
vor in helping to make up my number.
Ieas are very enjoyable. and at cur Satur-
day teas We San Francisco hostesses gener-
ally have very fair number OF gentlemen.
The reason our men do not visit more is
that they work harder here than 10 Europe
and the East. They have longer hours and
take fewer vacations"
One Of San Francisco's leaders, who was
busy issuing invitations to a large tea.
found time to remark: at seems TO me
that people are too ready to accept the pleas
ures and utterly neglect the duties of soci-
ETY.. / mean they have no idea of reel
procity.
"A guest owes something to his hostess,
IL it is only duty dance with the girl she
is chaperonng the next time he meets her at
d Jail mere III CalilOTula tneSe QutleS, tnat
elsewhere are considered imperative, are
rather neglected"
Mrs. Frances Edgerton, who entertains
extensively with her sister, Mrs Homer
King, voiced her sisters and her own views
Cd the subject.
Certainly, entertaining Is duty incum-
bent upon us. People in society do not sing,
recite, make their rooms and their tables
beautiful entirely for their own selfish
qualification. They want their friends to
participate in their pleasures.
Entertaining naturally gives fatigue to
the hostess, but she Is more than compen-
stated for IL by the knowledge of the enjoy
ment she has given and the congenial people
she has brought together.
Iconslder 1t a social duty incumbent upon
every guest" she continued, Ito make him
or her self as agreeable as possible while
under the roof Of hostess; it is as IL all were
under one flag.
he old spirit of hospitality In Califor-
Ma has passed away to certain extent
We are in transition state and are
gradually forming into different circles re-
sembling the rings of chain. we old CAL
fornian5 stlll remaining in touch with the
greater number of these circles.
People here travel so much that enter
tanning is like casting bread upon the
waters; the same people return our hos