Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-11-17

Our Own Day.
THE ballet girl is very handy with
| her fOOt.-Gaiveston News.
THE tramp is free from the worry
and vexations of labor troubles -
| Picayune.
WITH Patti few thousand dollars
| is more or less than "a mere song. .
| Boston Courier.
THIS is the season when the chirop-
OdiSt grows enthusiastic over the corn
crop.-Lowell Courier.
THE founder is a fish that requires
| plenty of seasoning, and even then is
flat. -Philadelphia Record.
THE greatest triumph Of mind is
when a man knows enough to mind
his own business. -Meriden Repub-
| lican.
MIsTREss-Yo know how to make
bread, | presume? New Girl--No,
mum. No use learnin' such things
till after l gets married. Puck.
MRS PuNC-TUAL-Your clock is
always on time! Pray, how do you
manage it? Mrs. Slopay-Why, my
husband got it that way.--Jewelers'
Weekly.
WATTs-This has been great year
for record breaking. Potts--Hasn't
it though? Nudge paid me So be
borrowed, for instance. -lndianapo-
lis Journal.
SHALL we be engaged?" he said to
the seaside girl. "How long do you
remain here?" she asked. "a week.
Really, Harry for so short time it
hardly seems worth while. Wash
ington Star
| "OH, mamma, mamma" yelled
| Tommy, as great gust Of wind blew
some sand in his eye. Come quick;
I've got piece of beach in my eye
Harper's Young People,
| SUMMER BoARDER-"Well, I'll e
hanged if there isn't an organ-grind-
er out there playing Ta-ra-ra boom
| dc-ay'" Landlord-"You are m:-
taken. That's one Of our mOsqu;-
| toes. "-Yenowine's News.
A RUSSIAN physician uses soothing
| musical tones as a remedy in nervous
diseases. 1t is safe to say, that Wag-
ner is never entered in his prescrip
tion book. st. Paul Globe.
A NEW YoRK diver offers to walk
a mile under the sea for a purse Of
| 1000. The bookmakers will soon
| be Offering odds on the McGinty
| handicap Washington Post.
FAIR SOPRANO (having finished
her trial DIDO you think my voice
| will fill the hall?" Grim manager
81 fear it would have just the OPP
| posite effect. Boston Courier.
A FRENCHMAN, in telling Of
football match he saw in this
country, said: at was very funny
to see twenty-five men playing with
the ball of the foot. "--Philadelphi1
Record.
THEY have begun to put pneumatic
tires on sulkies used in trotting races.
/ The men who bet on the horses draw
ing these sulkies continued to be
tired in the same old way.-Butfalo
Express.
| PROFEssOR-"Ca you cite anOtablc
instance in which necessity was the
mother of invention?" Student
"Matches were not made until after
smoking became popular. "-Detroit,
Tribune.
| SHE-"This is a picture of my
brother and this is of myself. He
Gle does not look like you in the
least" She-"Well. you see the pic
lures were not taken by the same
photographer ."-Texas Siftings. !
l ,l>!; l.. " n
in the Hub there is a club called the
Wintergreen, of women, all confess
edly "over 3O?" Here let it be said
in parentheses that the members arr
largely women over GO. Boston
Post.
| NEW NURsE-"Em going to leave
when the week is up, mum" Mis-
tress-"Dear me! What's the mlt-
ter?" New Nursc-"Please, mum,
your children is gettin' the measles
an the other nurses cuts me dead. D
| New York Weekly.
WHAT I like best about fairy
Stories" said little Warren, "is papas
voice. / never knew it till the other
day, when papa read to me stupid
story nurse has read to me lots Of
times, and it wasn't stupid a -
| Harper's Young People.
A TEMPORARY BEREAVEMENT =
Jewelcr- "These mourning earrings
are very durable and viii last long
| time" Widow-"ThcnI don't think
| | really want them, unless you are
| willing to exchange them for some
other jewelry later on. "-Tcxas sifr-
/ ngs.
IL recent novel the hero has -
nose which qHsered perpetually.
| like the wings Of 4 captured bird.
| otherwise h. had "ihA stern. in
/ scrltanie repGSe CT q granite PHI