davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-30
No So Mean as That.

Old Goldacre Ito young Spendfast)-
Well, suppose you want to take my
daughter away from me?
Young Spendfast = No, no: not
so bad as that. | only want TO marry
her.-Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-30
Belonged to the 1900"

Tom-Hullo. Invitations are out
for a swell dance in horticultural
Hall on the 18TH. Wonder why they
left me outo
Probably on account Of their
naughty culture. Harvard Lampoon.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-30
4 chin or the ola Block.

Binjo-What's the matter with
your clothes, Bobbie?
Bobbie (meekly II fell down on my
way from school.
Binjo-Who licked? New York
Sun.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-30
Holding Back.

Witherby- There's button almost
off your coat, old man. You ought
to call your wife's attention to it.
Won Blumer (sadly)-I'm going to
as soon as can save up enough mon
ey to get her new gown.--Puck.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

nor how many / killed. Blood and brains
were scattered over everything. and the
men who rescued us say that stood there
and fought like "A maniac for several
minutes after every one OF the beasts had
been driven away. Thu may be so, dare
say it is. Certainly il took some time and
a quantity of stimulants for me to regain
my equilibrium. However, under Mrs.
Wilson's care | soon felt no evil effects
from the adventure, except frosted ears
and sore muscles. | learned from her that
having expected us Mt noon she had grown
uneasy and had asked some friends to
ride out to a little rise in the prairie and
see if they could see us coming. From
this point they had seen my horses and
had come ON a run, with the fortunate re-
suit stated" HARRY w. CoCKEHILL.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
A FIGHT With WOLVES
Desperate Battle on a North
Dakota Prairie.
THE "TENDERFOOT" HELD HIS OWN

How an Eastern Man Fought on a Pack
of FOurfooted Fiends Until Help Ar
rived-A Terrible Ride for Life and
Fierce Conflict Afterward.
A young man who had just returned
from the northwest sat in the rotunda of
one of the largest of the ST. Louis hotels
recently RECALLING a number of his old
friends with some of his western expert
enceS
II understand Tom Wilson is doing well
out in that wild country" said one of the
listeners. rs it true?'
Eyes, Tom is doing we'll, !" was the reply.
HE lives away up in the extreme northern
part of North Dakota almost in the edge
Abf the British possessions, and on my visit
to him met with an experience the equal
of which hope may never fall to my lot
again"
Of course this brought forth demands
for the story which could not be resisted.
About ten miles north of DEVILS lake"
said he, lis little body of water called
Lake Mcintosh, on the banks of which
Tom has ranch and where he at present
abides- He expects in a few years to make
fortune out of his possessions there, and
he probably will, SO he is content to rough
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
RIGHT OR WRONG.

Which viii We have2 IL does seem as II some
folks prefer To have the last condition OF the liver
rather than the fret They perpetually dose
themselves with purgatives Totally without yir
tue as Alternative OF liver trouble. Hostetter's
stomach Bitters is the successful candidate for
the peoples choice, aud yet. popular and we'll
known rs X 49, there are unfortunates who keen
on trying the drastic remedies OF former DAYS
II Is 10 the intelligent portion of the public that
me well-known and long-tried properties OF tue
bltters appeal, Reason should be guided by ex-
perlenCe IN the matter of medication THE
best guide To our feet is the lamp of experiences"
sald a great patriot of the early revolutionary
period, aud the exclamation is pregnant with
truth. For over third of a century the Bitters
daily has met with the Endorsement OF peoole
suffering from liver complaint, malaria tonsti.
patton, rheumatism, debility and troubles ac-
compsnied by dyspepsia Lstterly l. mas de-
clnred itself ana been thoroughly approved as a
remedy for -" la grippe"
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
The Old Man Chanrsd His views.

When | was boy | went to visit an
austere old uncle of mine, who kept a
country store in a Florida town. He
was never known to laugh out loud or to
take much amusement out of anything.
There was big bumblebees' nest in the
eavestrough of the old store, however,
and the darkies that were always hang
ing about used to stir it up occasionally
to make fun. When strange darky
would come around who did not know
of the trick, the boys would get him
near the nest, stir up the bees behind his
back, and then quietly get out of harm S
way and watch the stranger jump when
the bees stung him.
This trick, when successfully carried
out, was one Of the very few things that
tickled old Uncle Ben, and he would
watch its performance with anxiety lest
it should fail, and would then retire to
the back part Of the shop and shake for
ten minutes with internal laughter,
which only found outward expression in
his quivering stomach and shoulders and
swapping black eyes. This had been re-
peated scores of times, when one day
there came hitch in the proceedings.
One bee lit just on the old mans upper
lip, and gave him a sting that raised a
lump as big as a pigeons egg there in
about one minute.
Old Uncle Ben retired to the back of
the shop, as usual, without giving any
sign of his smart, and followed him to
see him shake with laughter There was
no shake this time, however. The old
man called me to him and said: "See
here, my boy, you run out into the back
yard and get me a lump of cold, wet
clay from the well side" | didHso, and
he sent me away again, saying that he
wanted the clay to stuff up a rat hole
with | hid behind barrel, however.
and saw him clap the clay to his mouth,
take his head in his other hand, and
stamp around and swear to himself, till
| got scared. Then he took out some
ball blue from a box, wrapped it up in
his handkerchief, dipped it in a pail of
water and rubbed it on his lip till he
looked like an Indian on the war path.
Finally he Gained down, washed him
self off, and came out looking sourer than
ever.
The next day the boys found a most
promising victim, and were preparing
to play the trick on him when Uncle
Ben came out and shouted: "Now, then,
you lazy rascals, | won't have you driv-
ing off my customers with your scurvy
tricks The first boy that touches that
bees nest will get cowhide over his
backr' And the darkies never could UNI
derstand what caused the old man to
change his mind so suddenly about a
trick that had amused him SO many
times.-New York Tribune
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

One day last week Brooklyn capitalist
came into real estate office to inquire
about some lots up in the park region that
were offered for sale there. They were
real nice lots, and the capitalist was very
favorably inclined toward them. He put
on his glasses and examined the plot at
tentively. Finally he asked:
"And how much does the owner ask for
these?"
Twenty thousand dollars"
"And what did you say his name vast"
"Mr. A."
Him. Well, l guess don't want them. 4"
"Why not2"
"Well, don't think I care to buy of Mr.
A. for $4,000 the lots sold to him one
year ago for $12, 900. New York Herald.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
WHAT THEY ARE coon FOR

BRANDRETH's Pills are the best medicine
known.
First-They are purely vegetable, in fact
medicated food.
Second-The same dose always produces
the same effect-other purgatives require
increased doses and finally cease acting.
Ihird-They purify the blood
Fourth-They invigorate the digestion
and cleanse the stomach and bowels.
Fith-They stimulate the liver and carry
off vitiated bile and other depraved secre-
tions.
The first two or three doses tell the story
The skin becomes clear, the eye bright, the
mind active, digestion is restored, costive.
ness cured, the animal vigor is recruited
and all decay arrested
BRANDRETH's PILLS are sold in every drug
and medicine store, either plain or sugar
coated.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
DEAFNESS CAN'T BE CURED

BY local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu-
tiOnal remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
famed condition If the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube When this tube gets inhamed
you have rumbling sound or imperfect hear
ing, and when it is entirely closed, Deafness is
the result, anu unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to Its normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed forever
nine cases out of ten are caused by catarIh,
which is nothing but an infiamed condition of
the mucous surfaces.
We will give one Hundred Dollars for any case
of Deafness Caused BY catarrh) that we cannot
cure by taking Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars free. +. j. CHENEY 4 CO.
ss-zm% - Toledo, o.
SO by druggists; IS cents
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
A Successful Man.

One Of the brightest advertising men
in Chicago made his rise through the fall
of another. 1t was some years ago when
as a mere boy he was tramping the
streets of Chicago in search of any sort
of job which offered. His last nickel
had gone for food, and one afternoon he
was walking through down town alley,
tired and Disguised. Happening to glance
upward he saw boy leaning out of a
window. In a moment the boy lost his
balance and fell to the ground with the
customary dull, sickening thud. The
discouraged man FASTENED to the boys
side and discovered that death had been
instantaneous Looking up at the open
window from which he had fallen the
man counted the stories and then sought
the stairway near by. Mounting the
stairs he dashed into the editors room,
for it was the office of The Prairie
Farmer, and blurted out; "Do you want
a boyy Looking up in surprise the edi-
tor answered, No, we have a boy"
Then the man said, "Ill bet you haven't
your boy just fell from the window and
is dead. want his place." Investiga-
ton found that the man was right, and
he was engaged for his pushing way.
Since then he has riqen by degrees and
made money, and very few of his friends
know how he gained his place. Chicago
Herald
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
Rather riskc,j

AANFtOF FeoNI
the offer that's made by the pro-
prIetors of DR.. Sage's Catarrh Rem
edy. Risky for them. For yoe, if
you have Catarrh, it's a certainty.
You're certain to be cured of it, or
to be paid $500. That's what they
offer, and in good faith they cure
you, or pay you, no matter how bad
your case, or Of how long standing.
But-is it SO much of a risk ?
They have a medicine that cures
Catarrh, not for a time, but for all
time. They've watched it for years,
curing the most hopeless cases.
They know that in your case there's
every chance of success, almost no
chance of failure.
Wouldn't any one take such
risk with such medicine E?
The only question is are you
willing to make the test, if the
makers are willing to take the
risk 4?
If so, the rest is easy. You pay
your druggist fifty cents and the
trial begins.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

The two longest words in Worcester,
Webster or the Century dictionary are
said to be topharingeolaryngea and
Observation-Disclosures A longer one is
noted in American Notes and Queries"
it is zomethoxyethyltetrah
dropyridinecarboxyla
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

In South America there is a race of cats
to which ''meowing" is an unlearned ac-
complishment. We are in favor of reci-
procity with that country, so that we may
exchange some of our nocturnal feline mu-
sicians for South Americas noiseless nous
ers.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

This GREAT COUGH CURE, this success
full CONSUMPTION CURE is sold by drug
gists on positive guarantee, test that no other
Cure can stand successfully. If you have a
COUGH. HOARSENESS or LA GRIPPE, ii
will cure you promptly. If your child has the
GROUP or WHOOPING COUGH, use it
quickly and relief is sure. If you fear CON
SUMPTION, don't wait until your case is hope
less, but take this Cure at once aud receive i'm
mediate help. Large bottles, soc. and 500.
Travellers convenient pocket size 2sc. Ask
your druggist for SHILOH'S CURE. If your
lungs are sore or back lame, use Shiloh's Por-
Gus Plasters. Price, 25c.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

COUGHS" Br0Va's Bronchial 1r0ches' are
not new and untried; but, having been
tested by long and.constant use, they have
attained well-merited rank among the few
staple cough remedies. % cents box.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
RUPTURE AND PILES CURED.

We positively cure rupture, piles and all rec
tai diseases without pain or detention from bust
ness, No cure, no pay. Also all Private dis
eases. Address for pamphlet Drs. Porterfeld &
Losey, 1913 Market street, San Francisco.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

A physician of note says, I'VE hear a
great talk about malaria nowadays, but
there is more malaria to be found in most
modern bedchambers than anywhere else. :"
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

She-Do you love me for myself alones He
Yes; and when we're married don't want any
OF the family thrown in.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

Prior to 1866 she horses of England were
never shod, William the Conqueror being
the person who is given the credit of intro
ducing horseshoeing into the British isles.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

Old Gold and Silver Bought; send your old Gold
and Silver By mai 70 the old and reliable house OF
Coleman Al Third street. San Francisco; will send b.
return mail the cash according TO assay; the amount
Is not Satisfactory viii return gold.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

Mr.. Parke-Are you in this race, Sambo? sam
bO-Wad race, sab? Mr.. Parke (wittily)-The
human race. Sambo-Ya-as, sab; Is de dark
boss, sab.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

Miss Romantique-Wou it be Just lovely
10 marry poet? Mrs. Worldwise-If you had
money enough 70 support him
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

II you are angry with bigger man than your
self, walk 100 yards away and count 10 600 befor
giving vent TO any retort to his remarks.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16

The man whose Fate is off the hinges can talk
by the hour explaining why somebody elsG
doesn't prosper
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1892-09-16
Try GERMEA for breakfast.

Use Enameline stove Polish; no dust, no smel
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30

ful residences, spacious and dttvacttct
suburbs. shady streets and breezy hills
Its Revolutionary memories haunt ht
antiQuary. the absolutely uncqualieo
Ndrrdgdnsett Bay az tts feet charms ht
artist and the sportsman, and tts shores
propide recreation ground ana summer
homes for thousands of the citizens ot
Ncto England.
%. Providence has the most cut
tured and intelligent people Of any cttD
in the country; Is a prominent utcrdry,
artistic and musical centre. It's manu-
featuring establishments demand tht
highcst skilled labor, consequently d.
tcorktpg classes are exceptionally tnteltt-
gent.
20. Providence has rs public schools,
tcih 4eI Instructors.
~. Providence expends annually
$274, ,90e. .0e for teachers SALARIES.
20. Providence is the seat of Bro,c'l
Unirersitn
%. Providence has III churches
80. Providence has Ise miles OF
streets; 2s are pared, Ie0 Mdcdddmized
and 70 are Unbuitt. Its streets are the
finest and clednest IN the country.
81. Providence has a mortality
rate of 1918, a marriage rate of 2e04, u
birth rate Of 29eS.
32. Providence has a stdunch Re
publican paper whosc grototh has no
parallel In the history of journalism; /;
Whose progress has been the journalistic
sensation OF New England; tchtch is ac-
kno,Cicdged eperytohere as the home paper
THE PROVIDENCE NEWS.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30
THE GIRL AND THE POLICEMAN.

1t was early dusk and the girl Of all
work OF an East-side cottage had come out
10 sit on the steps awhile before tackling
the big pile Of supper dishes in the hot
kitchen. Presently along came the po-
lceman twirling his night stick. lie was
an elderly policeman and the girl hailed
him with:
isn't my fellow on tonight ?"
mo, not tonight. 1t isn't 80 hot as
this in Ireland, Is il ?"
''No, that il is not"
81 mind the time / was there very
well" went on the policeman. land the
great time there was i'm Queenstown
harbor over the laying OF the cables.
There were the Agamemnon and the
Gorgon, British ships, and the Susque-
hanna and Niagara, American. They put
out Of Galway harbor and stopped In at
Cork. They parted in midocean and be-
gan paying the cable out both ways, but
IL broke and that was the end of il for
then. That must have been in '57-thirty-
five years ago. Twas all over Ireland then,
aud it's fine climate, not cold in winter
nor so warm in summer, and the land
ricn and black. I'd heard tell in my
youth of the bogs, and thought the whole
island was big swamp, hut | found it
very different. III they had industries for
the people, as we have, il would be a fine
country. TO live In. I've seen whole vii
lages of little huts, turf and pasture
stone aud thatch, all belonging to some
big Lord In great park out beyond, and
it was crime TO kill any Of the game
there"
"And he not living there at all. but
away in England, sir" said the girl.
Lets see," said the policeman, my
partner comes from County Dublin, isn't
It, aud you from County COrS. You're n
Corkonian. Do you know / think my
partner is thinking about your Some
Thing he said showed he had you in mind.
Perhaps twas that about his buttons
coming of. 1 said to him.. You ought
TO have wife TO sew your buttons ou.'
oh, he's finc- fellow, my partner. Then
I was down In Australia, too, and that's
another flne place, all but the hot winds
they have Ia December aud January
Aud was in New Zealand and Ia the
mines. But there's more energy In New
England than any OF those places. Here
a man has TO work for living, aud In
warmer climates it's made for him, aud
he gets lazy"
Two slender ladies clad all In white,
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30
CHRONICLES OF 1899.
BY JULIAN WERE.

Chapter XIV-Spotlsmen Cleue's Jetcels.
|. And it came TO pass that Grover, the
avoirdupois giant OF the Philstines, did
talk to the holy Mugwumps OF Civil SER
vice reform, while he winked knowingly
at the lords of the Philistines.
q And he remembered the spoilsmen
when he made up his jewels.
who beheaded $4,000 Republican post
masters in three years, beiug over 40 per
day including the Sabbath.
T. Harrity, u mighty spokesman, when
postmaster nc Philadelphia, did kick out
the soldier veterans to make room for
Philistine ward heelers, and used the
government building in which TO print
Democratic circulars and tickets.
3. Behold, Harrty is now appointed
to harass the friends of protection to
home industry. Bill Harrity is to be the
great Force Bill to force free trade upon
the nation.
o. And now behold, ye common-sense
people, and see We the difference between
the spoils system party aud the civil SER
vice lsraelites who are called Republi-
cans. When Quay was put at the heal
of the national committee he resigned his
lucrative Office in Pennsylvania, while
Carter refuseth to cart around govern
ment salary as chairman of the Republi-
can national committee. Not NO much
with HarriJy, who loveth the shekels and
hankereth to divide the spoils. Strange
as 1t may seem TO plain. honest, common
sense people, Harrity still clingeth to his
fat PENNSYLVANIA Office.
Z. With piles of money coming In from
tho monopolists of Europe TO break down
all protection for home industry; with
bags of gold and silver. or their equiya-
lents In checks, from free traders who
are exceedingly wrathy that wage earners
get so much pay: why doth Harrity still
cling to n salaried Office like death to A
deceased colored brotherp
\. Because, as the horse loveth oats or
the sleek mule the tender grass OF the
pastures green. even so loveth Harrity
the spoils system aud the loaves aud fishes
Of Office.
.. As the vine clingeth to the giant oak
so doth llarrity twine for support around
the sturdy oak tree OF Office. yea, even as
the bee searcheth for honey among roses.
even so buzzeth Harrity around the
honied sweets Of n fat State salasy among
the blossoms OF the government flower :
garden.
lTo BE CoxTINUEDl
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30

mean ruin to RHODE ISLAND industries.
II wishes TO allay the fears of Republi-
cans, to keep them ignorant of the fact
that a campaign is in progress whose
issue threatens every vested interest In
the State--it wishes TO hold them aloof
from the most desperate battle for home
and country that has been waged since
the war.
Can such black and damnable plot
succeed? IL came near success last
spring when the Journals hypocritical
support" on precisely similar grounds,
came so near costing us the Legisla-
ture. Are Republicans wiser nows
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30

sidewalk and the policeman returned
their salutation by removing his helmet.
The he whispered ''There from New
York"
"Are they so, sirs" said the girl
"Yes, they've never lived in the country
before. They rented that house on the
next street. They're delighted with
PROVIDENCE for a home. One OF them
has travelled too. She passed the time of
day to me In Spanish the other day. Yes,
I've been in Spain. too. l was sailor
man in my young days. Well, must be
moving on"
Isn't my man coming on beat at all
tonight ~ said the girl.
"Yes. he'll be on at one o'clock"
"Oh, Lord. Sure I'll not sit up til
then"
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1892-07-30
4. ". LADD co.
Summer
Bargains! {!

They are to be found in
every department, and they
offer incompatible opportu-
mites to shoppers.
Summer Jackets, Summer
Suits, Shirt Waists, Light
Dress Goods, with their
wealth of attractive designs
and colors, the wonderful pro-
ductions in Wash Fabrics,
Summer Silks, Summer Un-
derwear Summer Hosiery
Portieres and Upholstery,
about everything in fact that
is left on our counters from
our summer openings may be
bought now at greatly re-
duced prices-cost, in many
instances.
This is practically our last
week of summer, for with
August we begin to prepare
for fall business.
We propose to clear things
up accordingly.