Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1892-04-28
AmopERn MIRACLE.
What Rip Van Wrinkle Really Die
Find When He Woke From His

When the modern Zip Van Wrinkle
awoke from his long slumber in the
ravine just back of the big Catskill
hotel and found that his beard had
grown three or four feet and his gun
fell apart when he touched 1t, he utter
ed no exclamation of surprise, but
started peacefully off in quest of a
cocktail.
well" he remarked, as he lifted
his beard in order to cross a small
stream, this air is really more bracine
than the advertisements led me to be-
lieve, and as for that cheap parlor rifle
it's wonder there's anything left of it
at all"
The guests on the long plaza stared
at him as if be were wild beast, and
he looked vainly among them for the
familiar faces Of his friends of the day
before
II see they've all gone" he murmur-
ed. land 10 tell the truth I'm not sur
prised. can't see how any man shor,
OF Croesus can afford to stop more
than minute in this house. Why
even in the bowling-alley where we
played last night they charged us so
much for every game and each round
Of drinks that haven't got more than
a quarter left in my pockets. Well. ]
can get a cocktail with it. anyhow
where's old Lie Simmondso" asked
Rip. Us he leaned against the bar and
watched the cocktail Undertaking.
under the dcft touches OF the drink
mixer.
Don L know him was the reply
"Do you know if Bill Avcry's about?'
asked Rip. after a moments reflection
Bill .,vcry!" exclaimed one of the
guests: why. he's tcen dead these ten
years,
Dead Why, We were playing in
the bowling alley only last night"
gaspcd Rip. rubbing his eyes like one
in a dream. Don't any one know me
around herc?''
No, nobody knew him, and the poor
old man stood staring about him in
disInaS and confusion. \ copy of
New York paper was lying on the bar.
He picked i, up ana glanced a, the
headlines.
by Jove..f cried one of the guests,
''l'll tell you who j, is It's Rip Van
Wrinkle come back after his twenty
years sleep
That's my NAME cried the old
man earerly: but I've only been asleep
one night
y shout of laughter. tempered by
genuine pity for the old stranger,
brought half dozen more of the
guests into the bar room 70 see what
was the matter.
just look at that paper there and
see how far behind you are in the
news" said one of the merry-makers.
Not SO very far behind. reckon"
he retorted as he read aloud: The
site committee of the Worlds fair held
Il meeting in the Times building to de-
eide upon site for the great EXPOSE
ton. A memorial from the property
owuers of Hobokus was read and an in :
vitation to visit that historic town by
a unanimous vote accepted"
"Ihere!" exclaimed old Rip. tri-
umphantly, that's just what they've
been doing for the last TWO months.
guess I'm not more than day be-
hind. What's this next article!
Skipped with Hired Man." hey?
Well. that's about what you might ex-
pect-"
Turn over the next page and you'll
find something new" said one OF his
new acquaintance.
"All right" said Rip. confidently.
CHOW, we'll see. Josiah Elderberry.
of Beanville, CT, came to New York a
few days ago in reply to a letter he had
received Offering him 81 200 in coun-
terfeit bills for $500. At the Grand
Central depot yesterday he opened his
bag to get bill with which to pay for
his ticket and discovered that q pack
age of sawdust had been substituted
for the counterfeit money. He made
complaint to the police, and was sent
to the house OF detention as witness
against Sawdust Pete. who swindled
him, and who was released under bail
Mr.. Elderberry is trustee OF Il Beanville
church and is said to have used some
OF the church funds to buy the coun-
terfeits with
Il guess that fellows been asleep
twenty years instead Of me- said Rip.
briskly, US he finished the paragraph
mo, gentlemen, you can't fool me
quite as easy as you think. What's
this? Sucked in ut Niagara; the
Awful Fate OF 4 Stranger in the Coun-
try Why that's just what happened
to me when was there, week ago,
and it's what happens to everybody
those fellers can lay their hands on.
You can betit's an awful fate when one
OF those hack drivers or photographers
gets hold of you. / guess the worlds