West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-02-11
Mr.. AND MRS. B0WSER.

Ono or Mr.. BowSer's hobbies is
the family medicine chest, and the
quack who wants to get his money
has only TO go to hum will a Spring
tonic, Winter porus laster, q
Fall liver pad or an evei y. day cure
for rheumatism. There is at this
moment, in closet set apart in
the Bowser mansion for that pur-
pose, more sure cures for coughs,
colds, lnfluenza, hey.fever, catarrh,
tooth ache, rheumatism, consump.
ton, torpid liver. neuralgia. natu-
lency, general decline, yellow fever.
smallpox, cholera morbus and
pneumonia than any New York
hospital could use IN II month.
Mrs. Bowser hasn't seen all this
stuff come into the house without n
protest, but protests hnve not been
Of the least avail. At the first
word of reproach Mr.. Bowser would
turn on her with:
Mrs. Bowser, how many
doctors and drug stores are there in
this country ?"
81 don't know"
OF course you don't. 1t isn't.vour
business to know. / do know,
however, aud I'll tell you that thore
are over 100000 doctors-onc to
about every thirty of our popula-
ton. just think of that There
are also nearly two million drug
stores, each one supported by about
forty such people ne you are"
Well ?" she asked.
Well, it must follow that there
is mighty little sense among aver
age people to run to a doctor every
time anything gets out of keller.
Think of the money thrown away!"
But nothing ever ails any OF us
but headache" she protested.
"No OF course not. But why
not? Simply because I'm pru-
dent and far. seeing man. / lock
the stable before the horse is stolen.
In other words, during the FIVE
years we have been married | have
saved us from at least fifty fits of
sickness, each one OF which would
have cost at least fifty dollars N
cash"
"Wcll, have you been getting
to day ?" she asked. "lf
so, you might rs well throw it out
Of the wiud)w, for We don't need
it,"
Don't need it, Mrs. Bowser-
don't need it!' he echoed, as he
stood mp and waved u paper pack
age aloft. But we do need it, all
Of us need it, need it bad. DO you
know what season Of the year this
is ?"
"Of course. it's Spring"
"Well, what takes place in the
SpringY
Various things"
"Yes, and one of them is sort
Of collapse of the physical systom.
We lose flesh. We are sDleeny.
Woare billlous and subject to chilIs.
We are in just that state to invite a
fever to seize upon us, and in nine
cases out of ten it would be fatal.
Is it prudence to tone up the sys-
TEN, or to have q funeral in the
house ?"
"What have You got there ?" she
asked, avoiding a direct answer to
his question.
" Roots, Mrs. Bowser, roots
Nature furnished man all the medi-
clnss needed when it caused roots
to grow in the same soil he treads.
Here is burdock, sassafras, sarsa-
parilla, sweetbud, blackberry and
two or three other kinds, each
specific in itself, all combined, a
sure panacea for nearly all the ills
human flesh is heir to.
And you are going to cat them
ALI Of US must eat thom ?" she
anXiously asked.
" Wait and Sec" he replied,
with a pomposlty that quite settled
her, and in due time she saw.
After supper Mr. BOwsor took
possession Of the kitchen to make
his root tonic. lie puts all the roots
in the tea kettle, started up a good
ERE, and at intervals Of every Eve
he walked out TO cool bis
face and to say to Mrs. Bowscr