Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1892-03-16
MIR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
The Old Gent Gets Another 'Streak" on.

HIS IDEA OF HOUSEKEEPING LEADS TO
ANOTHER DISPUTE IN WHICH HE
COMES OUT SECOND BEST.
All husbands are ''streaky.n They
will run along all right for a week or
two as good as pie, and then all of a
| sudden and with no valid excuse they
will break out in the most surprising
manner. When Mr.. Bowser left the
house after luuch the other day he was
| ing reat good humor and stopped to say:
II think I'll stop and get tickets for
| the theater tonight and we'll put in an
enjoyable evening""
When he returned at he ascended
the steps with a scuff scuff scuff.! un-
locked the front door, gave it kick,
and made his way into the back parlor
to growl;
Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to run
this house on a system?n
"Why, what is wrong, dear?" she
queried in reply.
''There's lots of things wrong! l had
scarcely left the office when this over
coat button came off | laid this coat
off the 9TH of last May, and you've had
five months to secnre that button
But | didn't know it was loose. Why
didn't you tell me?''
why, haven't l told you ten thou
sand other things that ought to be done!
There are wives who glance at their hus-
bands clothing once or twice a year
and discover what repairs are needed.
| want darning needle and piece of
string"
But I'll sew the button on"
mo; I'll do it myself. | don't want
to take up your valuable time"
And despite Mrs. Bowser's entreaties
and protestatiOns he threaded the nee
die with piece of string and sat down
and sewed on the button. He got it an
inch out of line with the buttOnhOle, of
course, and of course it wouldn't have
stayed five minutes in any event, but
he had carried his point. When he laid
the coat aside he asked:
Have we got a bradawl and piece
of waxed end in the house?"
81 don't think so. What do you want
of themg'
''To mend my suspender, of course. l
hadn't got a hundred feet from the
house this noon when it busted on me
as usual. If there's another house in
the United States run like this one, I'd
like to hear of it and go and sit down
) on the doorstep for half an hour. Per
haps | can repair it with a piece of
clothesline until | get down town
again"
But you can't blame me, Mr.. Bow
SER" she said.
"Oh, of course not; you are not to
blame for anything!"
"But how did | know your suspender
was ready to break ?"
''That's all right, Mrs. Bowser! I'll get
a piece of clothesline or barbed wire and
make repairs and you needn't worry at
all There are wives ana wives"
Are we going to the theatcr?" she
asked, as he began pacing up and down
the room with his hands under his coat
tails.
What" he shouted in a voice which
jumped the cat out of the room.
Are we going to the theater?n
"Theater Theater! Have yon gone
crazy? Mrs. Bowser, look there, and
then talk theater to me!''
He unlaced one of his shoes and kick
ed it off, and there, at the end of his
big toe, was a hole about as big as a
nickel
Il was intending to go to the thea
ter he said, as he stood and pointed
at the hole, but can't get away this
evening, have got to stay home and
darn my socks. That hole there has
started a corn on my toe this very day"
''Mr. Bowser, those socks were bran
new yesterday morning when you put
l them on!' exclaimed Mrs. Bowser with
l a great deal of energy.
? "Oh, of course! l probably cut that
hole with the shears! | want darning
: needle and some string or something.