The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-06-28
A WALL STREET SCHEME.
Not More Ridiculous Than Some R. T
Trans actions.
From the Ne,O York Recorder.

4IRL0 hCbAOL46s
From the Ne,o York Recorder.
The following advertisement appeared
yesterday IN the columns of a daily news
paper: ~ la1tg
WANTED-A treasurer by large corpora
w ton; salary S475 week; must have 81
which he is willing to lend the company. Apply
TO JOHN APOLYON SMITH, president Phos-
phorescent Rat CO.
Being curious TO know why a corporation
that was willing TO pay salary Of S475 a
week should want 70 borrow the small sum
of 81 a reporter proceeded to mosey
E 'mosey," to sSalkoff slowly, W ebster) 10
the direction of the address. Arriving at
the headquarters Of the company, he found
John Apolyop Smith ct home.
In answer II a question, Mr.. Smith said
that the Phosphorescept Rat Company was
organized for the purpose Of freeing houses
stores etc., from rats.=Snme time ago he
read Of a man who caught large rat, COW
cred him with phosphorus and turned him
loose in his house INA short time he OBJ
served drove II heaffrighted rats leaving
the house on the jump with the astonished
phosphoreseent rat 'bringing up the rear.
Yes, his company was starting in a small
way. 1t had rat, but wanted the 81 for
phosphorus, lunch and other incidental ex-
Dengps - y. -
1t was the intention of the company to
apply the principle TO things other than rats.
A jackass ceEAred With phosphorus would
enable his owner to pillow at night, or TO
travel PLEASANTLY along the darkest country
roads, while he read by the light Of the
beast. 1t would enable bees to labor by
night as well az bY day. A luminous owl
would be novelty as,he wendell his way
through the midnightN air. Suppose you
wanted to clear jungleAof fierce animals,
mischievous monkeys. etc, cover an ele-
plant with the fluid and turn him loose
would not the toughest man-eating tiger
take up his bed aud waikl while the most
astute old monk would not stop short of a
10o-mile scanper, after sight Of the ap-
parently moving sheoI.
"Was it not little odd" Mr.. Smith was
asked, "that q company should offer S475
week to a man who would put down 81 in
advnncep ~ MSYJ
mot at al, SID Mr.. Smith. "Wall
street offered similar Inducements. It was
not more ridiculousth than TO buy q. P at the
present price, which stock could by no
possibility be worth l cent on the dollar
The road must foon buy 800 or 400 new en-
gines, the Croedbedo was terribly out of re-
pair aud, In short, the property required at
least sc, 700. 600 70 put IL In decent condi-
ton. In Il. t., for instance, tho unhappy
investor put down x475, but had any one
taken up his 81? Mr. Smith VOTED not
The reporter Interviewed several promi-
nent men on the t,phosphoresoent" subject.
John Bloodgood said luminous ass would
be no novelty in Wall street. Alfred de
Cordova said an evil who advertised his
coming in the manpsr described would 20
hungry, as, ON his approach, the small
birds and beasts would promptly retreat to
the remote back settlements. Commodore
James d. Smith said such an owl would in
terfere with tho cause of science, as he
might be mistaken for meteor. Washing
ton K. Conner said that at the advent OF q
blazing l2-foot elephant, he would certain "
join the fleeing procession.
John Apolyon Smith said he should have
a procession some day, for the purpose of
advertising bis business. He was negota-
ting with Barnum Il Bailey for the use of
some Of their animals, which he should
illuminate and march through the streets at
night. The procession would remind one of
those grand old lines of John Milton:
o ladies and o gents
hope you all win go
To see my mag-i-nif-i-cent
Phosphorescent show.
The lion and the monkey,
The tiger and the bear,
The rhi-a-no- a-ce-re-us,
All will be there.