River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-08-18
OLD TIME WIT.
Some of the Irish Bulls Told of by Our
GrandfafLers.

Grandfathers.
Our grandfathers used to laugh over
the wit of Paddy quite as much as we
do to-day, and am not at all sure that
ia the olden time Paddy was not much
brighter than his defendants are now
In looking over an old volume of Curl
GUS anecdotes, published quite seventy
years ago, which has been laying upon
my shelf for many a day, / find that
our ancestors had deal of fun pro-
vided for them AT Paddy's expense, and
of very rare quality, too.
One of these stories is told of the
Irish servant of a naval commander,
who had the misfortune one day to let
teal<ettie fall overheard. In fear and
trembling he rushed to his master, and
cried out to him,
'Plaze, yer honor. can anything be
said to be losht whin We know where
it is?''
Certainly not" replied the officer
Why?"
why, thin, yer honor, We may tink
the taykettle is losht, but it amt, sorr.
It's at the botthom of the ocean, sorr. :"
1t would certainly be difficult to find
fault with one who made such beauti-
full bull as that just because he had lost
SO insignificant an article as tea
kettle.
Another anecdote teaches in mirthful
guise lesson our boys and girls cam
not afford to leave unlearned, which is,
that true politeness always pays. The
story states that an IRISH officer in the
midst of a hot battle happening to
indulge in the courtesy of a bow
to some one on the field. cannon ball
passed directly over his head and took
off that of the soldier Immediately be-
hind him. The bow alone saved his
life, which he had the wit to see APP
parentl.l-, for turning to a soldier near
him, he observed: "You see, my man,
fellow never loses anything by polite
ness"
An Irish judge who was much an
noyed by loud conversation in the court
room cried out:
"Silence! Keep silence in the court.
Here have decided dozen cases this
morning without hearing what one of
'em was about"
Irish soldier who, having been asked if
the Hollanders were a hOspitable peo-
pie, Immediately replied: "They are
that. Too much so. OF was in the
hoshpital all the tonne Oh was there
This criticism is quite on par with
that of the Englishman who objected
to the French because he said the
stupid idiots couldn't understand their
own language when he spoke it to
them.
Another good story in the collection
over which we can imagine our grand
fathers laughing heartily is of an Irish
gentleman who was visited one day by
friend who found him very much
vexed.
''What is the matter?'' asked the Wis
itor. "You seem much disturbed.
81 am" he answered. 1--WE just lost
new pair of black silk stocking out
OF my room that cost me eighteen
shillings."
''Have you searched everywhere"
asked the friend.
''Yes," he said, everywhere; and not
finding them have sent for the town.
crier, who will cry them and offer a
half-crown reward
The friend expressed his surprise
that the owner should offer so small a
reward for the recovery of stockings of
silk, and of sucl value.
That's all ght" he replied, in a
confidential I, ne. ''Nobody'n know
ordered the cri'r to say they were
worsted."
1t is TO be hoped he got them. IIar-
per's Young People.