The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1892-08-27
FlNDiNG,FAULT.
How to Censure When Censure Is Neces-
sary.


How to Censure When Censure Is Neces
sary.
1t may seem superduous to begin by
saying, Don't find fault at all wher
you can possibly avoid it." Nevertheless
this is a very important first rule; fol-
in order to make necessary fault-find
ing count, and be of any real use te
yourself, to the delinquent individual
or to both, all needless, superfuous and
aimless fault-fnding must be avoided
Three times out OF four fault-inding is
merely an expression of Impotence,
and the only good it docs is to relieve the
irritable feeling caused by the careless,
with whom we have daily intercourse.
To begin with, on every occasion where
there is no reasonable hope of doing
good by fault-finding, seal your lips as
with bar of iron.
Next, almost always postpone fault
finding until. there has been time for
consideration. Do not speak at the
moment the fault has just been COM
mitted. However deserved, and even
mild, the reproof may be, the culprit's
mind is not in state to receive and as
simulate it. When Bridget has just
broken your best India china soup tu.
reen, she is SO disturbed by the accident
that she hears you say, Bridget, do
you not remember have often told you
not to carry that tureen on tray with
other dishes, but always to lift it with
both hands," ETC., with vague sense
that you are "scolding" her, and it is
very disagreeable. Yor are fortunate if
she does not reply with some fretful
self-justification. When the mind is off
its balance, and the nerves agitated, it
is not the moment to irritate still
further The more childish, undevel-
oped and ill-regulated the character the
less is the hope of doing good by such a
method.
To simplify the case, will suppose
that you are dealing with domestics
only. To treat the question of finding
fault nth children would involve too
many side issues.
Here, then, offer two very simple
rules. do not pretend that they cover
the whole ground, but they will be of
great practical assist ance.
First-Never go into the kitchen to
find fault with Bridget. She is there
on her own ground; and if she is fret
ted into impertinence by what you say
you have no resource but an undigni-
fed retreat, which leaves her mistress
of the field. Send for her to come to
you, taking care not to choose time
when her work or other occupations
will be interrupted by SO doing. Leave
her margin as to time.
Second-Begin by saying something
kind, which will put Bridget in good
humor. 1t is easy to do this. Say
word of commentator of her breakfast
cakes; or of her neat kitchen. She is
now disposed to listen to you. Then
go on something like this: 81 like your
work, on the whole, very much; you are
meat or good cook, or very good
tempered, as the case may be.) But
there is one thing that troubles me.
You stay out late at night Now, If
you were an elderly woman, perhaps it
would not matter. At any rate, I
should not feel responsible. But for
young girl of your age, it is not safe. /
should not dare to allow it. Your
mother is not near you now to advise
you; and a mother could not help being
very anxious about you under these
You know I told you
when you came that my rule is to have
NY domestics at home by (such an
hour.) You may not understand the inn
portance of this, but any older person,
who has had experience, will tell you
the same thing"
have been obliged to suppose case,
but the principle is of varied applica--
ton.
Good-natured, kindly iault-finding,
when the mind is free to
receive it, may do some good. Irritable
expressions of displeasure, never; and
moderate and just reproof, if tactless
and ill-applied, is almost as useless
There should be, however, constant,
gentle preparation of the soil, by judi
cious commentator. Judicious; not
battery, nor constant praise. Recog-
nize all that is good; show that you per-
,eive an attempt at improvement With
most people the tendency is the other
way. Bridget burns her bread in the
baking, and her mistress says, Bridget,
your bread was not good to-day"
Bridget knows that; she knows, also,
hat she has made good bread ten times,
ind no notice was taken of it. The
eleventh time she burned it, and that
lime she was blamed.
Let me close with a true anecdote.
l kind-hearted old lady of my acquaint-
nee employed young colored man to
10 jobs about her premises. One day
Henry, in receiving orders from her,
orgot to remove his hat. My friends
breeding could not put up
With this. This was the form of her
eproof: "Henry, if you were my son,
should say, My SON. where is your
Freeman Clark, in Ladies' |
Iomo Journal