Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-07-07
sclssored Smiles.

OlC uOOlOi W bhC pdOlCHO WIN
fractured jawbone. Washington
Star.
SAwYER-The proof of the pud-
ding is in the eating. DE Step-No,
1t isn't. 1t is in the digesting.-T
Bits.
THE nine parts of speech are wholly
inadequate to the needs OF the gen.
tleman who shutters. -Binghamton
Leader.
TOMORROW never comes, but the
bill collector who has date with you
then will get around ON time.-Somer-
vile Journal.
WHEN a baby is very homely its
mother may see some resemblance be-
tween 1t and her husbands folks
Atchison Globe.
"OH, had bang-up time Of it,"
as the man remarked who went up in
balloon which exploded. -Phila-
delphia Record.
WHEN married man buttons his
suspenders on eightpenny nails it is
sure evidence that he has been disap-
pointed id love.
AN Iowa man got drunk and stole
a time-piece recently. The clock is
still running and The man Is also do
ing time.-Inter Ocean.
A DRUMMER who eloped with
Kansas City dining-room girl was ar
rested for stealing the table service.
-Binghamton Republican.
CoNDUCToR-Your tickets, please!
Tramp-Me face is me ticket, pard-
ner. Conductor-All right; then I'll
have to punch it!-New York Her
aid.
Mrs. ToTLING-I'm going to make
me bath robe. Mrs. Dimling-Are
you? Mrs. Totling Yes; have
bought the lovelest piece Of watered
silk for the purpose.-Detroit Free
Press
A CHICAGO man recently saved his
life by carrying roll of 800 bills in
side his vest when a bullet came that
way. Yet there are people who neg
lect so simple precaution.-St.
Paul Globe.
WHAT do you think of that?"
asked Twynn, as he and Triplett
watched a mamma spanking child.
"It's the same old story" "What same
old story? "A woman at the bottom
of it"-Judge.
SMYTHE-I dropped penny in
front of blind beggar to-day to see
if he'd pick it DIP. Tompkins-Wel,
did he? Smythe-No; he said: MAKE
it siXpence, mister, and I'll forget
myself. It'd
PoMPoUs JUDGE hope you have
much practice? Young Lawyer
Yes, / have, thank you. IL am glad
to hear it. And in what branch is
your practice mainly?" Mainly in
economy. Texas Siftings.
SOME EXCUSE. = Yabsley Il am
panied to see that the moon is get
ting full again. Mudge-If you had
as much jimcrow poetry fred at you
as the moon has, you would get full
yourself. indianapolis Journal.
THE wAITER-Beg pardon, sir, but
-ahem! the gents here usually re-
member my services. The guest
(scooping up all the change)-Do
they? They ought to be more chari-
table and forget!-Chicago News.
Mrs. STINGs-Last night you came
home with story OF sitting up with
sick friend. Now, what excuse
have you this time? Mr.. Stings-
Tonight, my love, we (hic) all gath
cred (hic) round his beer.-Inter
Ocean.
EMPLoYER-"You put that note
where it will be sure to attract Mr..
Smiths attention when he comes in,
didn't you?" Office Boy-"Yes, sir.
/ stuck a pin through it and put it
on his Office chair. Harvard Lam
pooh.
LOOKING AHEAD Isaac-"Repec-
ca, led's ged married ride away
quick" Rebecca-"What for you in
such a hurry, Ikey?" Isaac-"Der
sooner We marries, der sooner comes
dot golden wedding, amt it?"-Kate
Fields Washington.
NERVOUS PASSENGER ION Southern
railroad) -"Conductor, why are we
running at such frightful rate Of
speed?" Conductor (reassuringly)-
There is rotten bridge, madam,
| about mile ahead, and we want to get
over it with as little strain as posi-
BILE. Brooklyn Life.
A FATHER was very much annoyed
| by the foolish questions of his little
son. Johnny, you are a great source
of annoyance to me-" whats the
matter, PAP" "You ask so many
foolish questions. wasn't big
donkey when / was of your age"
mo, pa, but you've crowd a heap
since. Texas Siftings.
con, Tom, the baby is so sweet
| To-day he took off his shoe and threw
it in the fire, and when / told him
he was a bad, bad boy, he only said
NAH" "sNah,' Ell? Well, what do
you think I'm made of money?
That's the second pair he lost in a
week." "Oh, no, dear; it was the
mate of the one he tore to pieces"
ooh, that's different-isn't he cum
ng"-Harper's Bazaar.
Il DESIRE" said a young woman In
a music store on Madison avenue, ito
purchase piece of music for my
little brother who plays the piano."
@Here, Miss, is precisely what you
want" "What Is the name OF it?"
"The Maiden's Prayer, for so cents"
"Only so cents? Why, he's further
advanced than that, for last month
he played a piece worth 10 cents.
Haven't you something for S1?"-