davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
The Fitness of Things.

Seldom have men or women the
faculty of grasping all the details of
their own appearance; were the ability
to do this less rare, we should not be
amused or panied, as the case may be,
by absurd vagaries in the way Of
dress. A small, thin man will put
on high hat unGer the impression
that it makes him look taller, while
in reality it only makes him present
the appearance of pair Of scissors
under thimble. A tall, thin woman
will wear hat, in itself becoming,
but which, taking her height and
sleDderness into the question, gives
her all the appearance OF a church
spire. Her stout sister, who has
round, broad face, affects headgear
resembling turban as closely as the
fashion will permit, and in conse-
quence seems to lose several inches
of her height This principle runs
through the question of manner quite
as much as that of dress. The ele-
phantine woman adopts the kittenish
ways which are laughable in one OF
her appearance. The diminutive
lIdn uIODo nlS WlUn kICd1
exertion into a heavy bass, and as
sumes a majestic carriage that is
suitable for nothing short OF six feet.
But in nothing is this lack OF taste
to call it by no harsher name-more
noticeable, than in the selection OF
songs made by the average amateur
singer. Imagine young woman
whose general appearance indicates
the most robust health, beseeching her
hearers to lay her 'among the daisies"
or fragile youth announcing in a
weak, piping tenor, "Thy sentinel
am l." Such things are never for
gotten, and at the end OF decade,
every one of that audience, should
they meet these performers, will re-
member the unfortunate evening
when they sang these incongruous
songs, and the absurd figure they cut
IN Hnipn ~
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
Very Worldly wisdom.

To retain a good appetite don't
eat when hungry; to keep constant
thirst, drink mot water, tea, coffee,
etc., when not dry.
Sound the depths OF a mans char
acter by his pocket.
To drive the wolf from the door,
starve him out.
BE not forgiving, but forgetting;
get all, give nothing.
Poverty is the poor mars flrmest
friend.
Run no risk except with other peo-
pies money.
When asked for money for charit-
able purposes, put your hand In your
pocket and keep it there.
Trust in yourself; If you don't,
other people won't trust you.
An oily tongue lubricates the
wheels Of conversation.
Never sink the shop; allow no op-
portunity of advertising your wares
to slip.
If business is poor, talk of your
immense trade.
Never look down before man, no
matter how much you may feel in
clined to do so.
Be charitable to the rich.
Leap before you look; II you look
first, it may be too late to leap.
II rich, talk of your poverty.
II you want cracked crown,
crack jokes at other peoples ex-
pense.
Never ask rich man il his wealth
makes him happy.
Keep the pot boiling, somehow.
Look out for your own comfort
everywhere; other people always do.
Praise everything you see, every
where; it doesn't cost anything, and
does heap OF good.
Ask no man to dine unless you are
sure he has dined.
Study the art OF grumbling;
grumbler always gets the best Of
everything.
II honest, let other people know 1t.
Put new wine into old bottles; 1t
sells better.
It's good to be wise, but better to
be rich; what is wisdom clothed in
rags and hungry?
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
rrshes rell from the clouds.

During heavy rainstorm at Forest
City, near Scranton, Pa. the other day
fishes fell from the clouds, and citi-
zens gathered them up by the hand
full. They were from three to four
inches long, and of the species known
as devil-fish or "stone-wallers. Sew
eral gentlemen found a/number a in a
small pool of water. They were kept
in water and are still alive In order
to make sure that the fishes came
from the clouds, a number Of persons
went out on a roof and found four
fishes there. 1t has been suggested
that the fish were caught up in the
storm and carried along and dropped,
when the heavy downpour overcame
the curreat OF air In which they were
floating.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30

means. Why, he felt like swearing, 80
thoroughly out OF patience was he with
that old churn, a regular medieval in
strument OF torture. He felt like shak-
ing jeffrey, too, II he had been on hand
to be shaken. He was brute; that's
what he was,- Judge Burns muttered,
that big, burly young fellow, to let
that delicate looking little wife Of his
make such a slave OF herself, and break
her back over that abominable churn!
He would give Jeffrey talking to.
Thank heaven, Mrs. Burns has never
been asked to do such work. Why, 1t
was outrageous to let q woman handle
that churn."
Bang, splash, bang, splash, up and
down went the stick OF the churn. The
work grew heavier and heavier, the
Judge hotter and hotter. Down flew the
gold spectacles; the hat followed suit;
soon the coat lay on the floor alongside
OF the hat. Bang, splash, said the
churn. With a final bang the Judge
jumped up from his stool In sheer de-
spair, growing between his teeth:
Goodness sakesi Millennium will be
at hand before that butter is done!"
We'll, Judge, how are you getting
on?" said q CHEEKY voice, and Mrs. jeff
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
What tho Editor Was There For.


The poet approached the editor for
| the first time.
II have here, SIR" he said, meekly,
ga poem which l should like to have
printed In your paper"
'Thanks," responded the editor
cordially.
"Glad to get 1t. Some papers won't
print poets poetry, but this one will.
believe in encouraging the flights
of the muse and all our immense and
ever-lncreasing facilities, sir. Power
press, steam heat, electric light,
eight page, cut and pasted, are at
your disposal, SIR"
The poor poet was utterly over
whelmed. This was so unlike any
thing he expected. So different from
all the traditions of editor and poet
he had accepted as gospel.
a. IL am sure" he STAN
mered and blushed.
''Don't mention it," interrupted
the eCitor cheerfully. I'VE are here
to I'll long-felt want, and we're go
| ing to I'LL 1t or blow the cylinder head
out OF our great moral engine. You
hear me-"
"When-when can / have my poem
printed?" blushed the poet
"Any time you say. Put it in
the next issue, or Sunday or any
time.
"Will you take iC?" asked the poet,
handing it out to him.
''NO." he kindly replied Poetry
goes to the business editor Carry ii
right down to him. He'll probably
kick, but you tell him / sent you.
and it has to go in, or he'll hear from
me in way that will make him pale
his Intellectual fires, which remark is
sorter poetic itself, isn't it?" he
chuckled, and the poet, with profuse
thanks and smiles and bows, picked
up his manuscript and started joyfully
for the counting room.
''By the way" said the editor, re-
calling him, ''that business editor
hasn't got any more poetry in his
soul than an old shoe has, and just as
like as not he'll want to charge you
full transient advertising rates tor
| your poetry, but you tell him to come
of the roof and say that said he was
to allow you 80 per cent. discount
from regular rates. Bluff him out,
and If he must have it. send up for
me. Tumble?"
The poets hopes zane down with
dull thud, and he stood there
speechless, insensible.
"Oh, that'll be all right" said the
editor encouragingly, for he saw the
poet was suffering; "that will be per
fectly all right. Pm the boss here,
and the business editor has to do what
tell him."
"But the charge" gasped the poet.
saw, excuse me-" said the editor,
innocently. that's nothing. We'rC
always glad to divide with the muse,
Don't be modest about that. We
want to please, and if my plan isn't
agreeable, why, Of course, we car
simply charge you full rates and give
you back half That Is, for instance,
say your poem cost $25 to be inserted.
You pay us $25 and we give you back
| $l2. so in cash, a net profit of that
amount to you on the one poem. See.
You ought to get rich with $3.50 on
every poem you write, and there's
nobody gladder to see you do it than
your humble servant You'd better
hurry on down stairs before that busi-
ness editor goes out to lunch," and
the poor poet turned away and went
down, down, down.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
GaIlopIng Through Royal Dinner.

A royal dinner is not altogether a
joyous and festive affair If one may
trust the report of an English periodic
al, which states that there is always
little more conversation than usual
at the royal dinner table when Lord
Salisbury is present., as he is great
favorlte with the Queen, but wise
visitors TO Windsor are always as
taciturn as possible when dining with
her Majesty as the dinner is galloped
through at such rate that anything
beyond mOnosyllables involves the
risk of having plate whipped off by
a too attentive fOotman, and finding
In some forty minutes or SO from the
advent OF the soup that one has only
enjoyed sort Of Barmecide feass
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30

Mr.. Jeffrey practiced oIatory before
an audience of haystaeks, In the sweat
Of his honest brow. Puck, the Judges
horse, made frantic efforts to keep off
the flies. Mrs. Molly sat in the parlor,
where her marriage certificate and
teachers diploma looked down upon her
out of their frames. Her pen was busily
raspng over the note paper, and the
writer looked pretty, cool and happy.
Judge Burns looked neither cool nor
happy in the cellar, sitting on q stool
before an old-fashioned churn. The old
gentleman was fast losing his temper,
and making but slow progress with the
butter. He did not find II as easy as he
thought-no woman's work by any
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30

woMEN's RELIEF CORPS. No. 162, meets on
the I'd and 4th Saturdays at o'clock in the af-
ternoon. ISABEL JONES, President.
REBEcoA WIGHT. SEQ.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-06-30
JUDGE BURNS SPEECH.

OTHER the speech!
/ wish to goodness
the Fourth OF July
was Overt" Mr..
Jeffrey groaned as
IL all the sins of
Chicago were load
ed on his conscience.
Presently he re-
marked in q calm
10 his pretty
young wife behind
the teakettle: Mrs.
jeffrey, these bis
cults are a success.
And when Mr.. JEFF
frey hal said so the
last half of the sew
enth hot biscuit,
with its thick coat
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-03-27
THE sYE, EAR, AND THROAT.
Eeli,fof Sufferers from MaIadies of These
Organs.

Relief 20 Sufferers from Maladtes OF These
Organs.
Tie following IS the act passed by the
D.0.-a. Assembly for the relief of lndi-
. u.r us suffering from disease OF the
.... o.r. or throat:
r..-. There are many lndlgent people
iH ta counties ~ tins State suffering from
.--. 0f the eve. ear. or throat, which
..'. proper treatment NAV be removed or
lr I.- measure relieved and whereas
i.. n .U.e age too poor 10 pay Tor this
ui, and with the progress OF Their
are likely 60 become charges upon
te luluc. and whereas IL IS proper tor
'.. State CD DO something foy the relief of
-.. cases. and whereas there Is a char
"i institution ia the city OF Richmond
.H."u as tho Richmond Eye. Ear, and
I.f.at lufrmary, which has been doing
tr'.te work for a number OF years;
whereas this institution, though pro-
'..i WITH proper appliances and skilled
surgeons, finds itself hampercd IN It's ca
."ty for useful charitable work by the
d. BIS ot means, and whereas this institu-
i.h - willing % receive and treat such
it.-o,s as NAV be- admitted under this act
ID. i-e rate Of 80 per month; therefore,
.. ht o. flgc'ei hy tee CtHer0i assembly Of
@. That the Auditor Of Public Ac-
t ar'll of the managers of said instltu-
'H i.r tle care Of sucn persons as shall
l-'r been received and treated under the
Term .i tlis act. shall issue warrants on
i.. treasurer for the payment thereof.
L. ii.i tne necessary medical ana surgl-
Go. treatment rs TO be afforded TO these
i.e iIee OF charge.
MANNER OF ADMISSION.
p. Tia: the number Of persons to be ad-
l-'iiri during any one year for treatm emit
N O. Doe under the control Of the man.
h-.r- aforesaid. and that no person - 20
p, almt'ed unless. with his application
i'r admission. he files certificate, under
cain ol reputable physician of his cOun-
ID. ILat he is ACQUAINTED with the appll-
,t.t mat, 10 his opinion, he has cura-
.' N.ecAee az tho eye, ear, or throat. as
len case may be. aud that 10 the best of
knowledge and belief that he is a pro-
li subject az charity and is entitled 10
ie.eYe Che benefits Of this act. Accom-
lai} .le THIS certificate Of the doctor there
-i also bee the certificate OF the Judge
zoe County Court IN which the appi-
.eat lives that be knows the APP
cant aud the doctor making the
c.riea,e hrst mentioned, aud that he
ewes the statements therein contained
be- true.
s. ANY citizen Of this State who can
ply with the requirements of tins act
'-ai Poe eligible for admission for treat
i-al INTO the institution aforesaid.
,. That the sum Of sl 900 for the year
D. (. aud the like amount for the year 1898.
hereby appropriated tor the purposes
tld ont Of any money In the treasury
10y otherwise appropriated.
O.. TINS act shall be IN force from its pas
sec.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-03-27
Working the County Roads
fFor the Dispatch

There - quite au excitement in Henrico
over the question Of purchasing teams.
WAGONS, aud implements by the supervi-
N'i- 10 be used in improving the county
io@ds- A petition. including upwards Of
p. names Of the taxpayers Of the county,
-oit Ing against this purchase. and ask
.Ns Judge Minor not 10 approve Of the
ssile' has been obtained. As q majority
o. me tax-payers believe that the county
people would be glad % furnish all neces-
10y teams Ia the improvement OF the
t2uhty roads at much less expense than
,''.s new plan would incur. il IL probable
'Ne measure will fall through.
iofnerly people had 10 suffer with cold.
~, how Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup cures
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-03-27

iings and perishabls
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS $4,000 90
1000 40 collaterai). $500 90
i>d inside. 800 90
oLcTELY BY TIE COMPANY tsoHE-
~:
Par Value. HGrkst Hdisse.
100000 90 . 10000 90
10000 90 10000 90
$4,000 90 10000 90
1000 90 1880 90
$4,000 90 10000 90
$4,000 90 zo,l40 90
$4,000 90 1880 90
$4,000 90 1850 90
1900 90 1900 90
10000 90 $500 90
5000 90 1000 90
100000 90 $4,000 90
100000 90 1i:.ooO 90
10000 90 $1,000 90
$4,000 90 10000 90
5000 90 1900 90
10000 90 1000 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
5000 90 1o.Os0 90
$4,000 90 $1,000 90
$4,000 90 26,75O 90
10000 90 $1,000 90
10000 90 3o,4s0 90
10000 90 $1,000 90
10000 90 10000 90
$4,000 90 27.5oo 90
10000 90 $500 90
10000 90 1880 90
$4,000 90 25.ooo 90
$4,000 90 2s,25o 90
10000 90 3O,45o 90
$4,000 90 26.e5o 90
$4,000 90 10000 90
$4,000 20 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 1890 90
10000 90 10.S00 90
10000 90 $4,000 co
$4,000 90 10000 90
10000 90 s1.esO 90
1000 90 1850 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
10000 90 $1,000 90
5000 90 1910 90
1000 90 1000 90
$4,000 90 10000 90
1900 90 1880 90
1880 90 1855 90
1880 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 $1,000 90
10000 90 10000 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 2e.25O 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
5000 90 $500 90
$4,000 90 2e,25O 90
$4,000 90 27,5oo 90
IS, ZOO 90 $1,000 90
10000 90 $500 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
500 90 500 90
1000 90 1000 90
$1,000 90 $4,000 90
1000 90 1000 90
10000 90 10000 90
1000 90 1000 90
10000 90 10000 90
1000 90 1890 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 $3.50 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 ee,25o 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
100000 90 10000 90
$4,000 90 1880 90
$4,000 90 2s,5oo 90
10000 90 7o,soO 90
$4,000 90 $1,000 90
$4,000 90 $3.50 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
1900 90 2,4eo 90
10000 90 93,75O 90
$4,000 90 $1,000 90
10000 90 12,c0o 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 so,75o 90
10000 90 10000 90
10000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 $4,000 90
$4,000 90 6a.5oo 90
10000 90 10000 90
Go,ooo 90 76,soo 90
100000 90 100000 90
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-29
Snnin Clans at HnllsYlIle.

t,orrespondence Of tho Richmond Dispatch.l
DECEMBER PA most attractive and en-
ioyable entertainment was given by Dit:
Moriah church to-day IN the interest OF
the Sunday school.
Mrs. Lyon, the very efficient principal of
the Ballsville Graded School, and Mrs: j..
X. Bagby showed great tact and skill in
working up most beautiful and .appro-
pirate Christmas cantata, Waiting for
Santa Claus" The programme was INTRO
duced with a striking song admirably rem
dered by the Ballsville Quartette." The
performances OF the children were eIcep-
tionally good and often brought down the
house. The appearance of - Jack Frost ="
and Santa Claus" brought the little ones
TO their feet in wild delight.
Il. G.. Coleman and j. III. Bagby per-
sonated Jack Frost " and Santa Claus 4"
with splendid success. Ibis part OF the
programme was concluded with the beauti-
full Chorus, Good Night" finely rendered
bv Santa Claus and the children. Now,
the curtains were drawn aside exposing a
grand Christmas-tree lovely TO behold aud
laden with enticing gifts for both the
Young and the old. Many heart was
made happy in receiving such tokens OF
affection from loved ones and friends.
The pastor and his family shared
literally in the gifts. The entertainment
reflected great credit upon all parties and
was the most elaborate and finest occasion
of the sort ever witnessed IN this com
munity.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-29
A BLAZE In RALEIGH.
THE HENRY BUILDING DAMAGED ef
FIRE, SMOKE. AND WATER
Baushman Stationery COMPANY. OF Rieh-
mona. . Loser--Low Temperature and
Good sisighing- watches stolen
roorr..pondcnco Of the Richmond Dispatch

r,orre.pondcnce Of the Richmond Dispstch.l
RALxIeu, N. c.. December 2.--At .
o'clock this morning fire broke out IN inc
rear of the second floor of the Henry
haildine here. occupied by the Capital
Climb. DAVID Rosenthal. clothier. and tho
Raleigh Stationery Company. The hre
originated in large wooden safe IN which
n onaptity Of matches were stored. IL OK
tended mairly upwards and burned away
n rear stair, the lunch-room, and the haii-
way 10 the ballroom on the third hooI'
TO the alarm sent in only one con- p uns &c
enonded. the wires. It is claimed. iaiilng 10
work AZ the other engine-houses. so mes;
dangers were sent out The bremeh dlu
sdmirable work in limiting the damage as
they did.
LOSS AND INSURANCE
The damage 70 the clubhouse IL about
$40 with 81, 800 insurance; 10 the store
~ Rosenthal by water, saw c0O; 10 the
RALEIGH stationery Company, say SiOO or
S5O0. the stock being valued at T4.V9'
with as. 500 insurance; and TO the buiIo
ing At $3.50. The building IS owned oy pr.
pr Henry. of Kittrell, and is insured Tor
a. soo The reading-room, parlor. and
6llhard.room Of the cluo are uninJureu'
a
The stationery-store is owned by the
Ranchman Stationery Company, OF Rich
mond. and has been open only month.
The damage TO the stock IN 1t was entirely
At5 O'Clock this morning, at Wake 70
rest The barns and stables OF 7. W. John;
son were burned. A valuable horse ana
cow were burned. The loss IS $500, with
no insurance.
tbs SNOW CELsEs FALLING.
All O'Clock las. night the snow ceased
st O'Clock II began again, and dld not
finally cease until s;45 this morning. Inc
average fall closely approximates 1t inches.
The temperature Yesterday morning was
leI5 degrees. the lowest this, season. 1T
did not rise above ~. To-day the sun
shope brightly and it was warmer Inns
m,rning's lowest temperature was lgt.
There will Toe several days slelghlng. The
snow is packing and many sleighs are out
to-day. ,f.:,:.
The inspection of commercial fertilizers
will be resumed next week.
Night before last thieves climbed through
a window of the YarbOro'- House bar-room
and FIVE gold watches from showcase.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-29
Terrible Crime Avenged.
lBy telegraph TO the Dispatch.I


Bovine GREEN, KY, December 2S.-Bob
Harper has paid the penalty for his assault
upon Miss Anderson. and the people feel
that the terrible crime has been avenged.
When court opened this morning the
witnesses for the Commonwealth were ex-
amined, the State's-Attorney had just an
nounced that the Commonwealth would
rest, and Judge DulAney had Just retired
to the witness room to consult with his
witness. when mob entered the court
room armed with guns. 1t was Just ll:40
O'Clock The mob leaders seized the wretch
and dragged him from the courtroom.
He was taken 10 the ir-grounas, one mile
distant. lifted TO the seat of a wagon, and
allowed to make q statement. He stOutly
protested his innocence and died game.
The wagon was pulled from under him at
1857 o'clock. and he was pronounced to be
dead ten minutes later. Not a shot was
fired, and the crowd dispersed quietly.
The moh was composed OF over l.OOO men.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-29
PROBABLY FROZEN TO DEATH.
Sad Fate of Venerable Colored We
man-Iudex-Appeal's New-Year's Issue.
,1,--.., ,,,,o, - tho pichr,ond Dianat,h

acknowledgements ew-Year's Issue.
Correspondence Of the Richmond Dispatch.l
PFTERsBURG, Va, December 2S.-POlly
Mason, q colored woman of some property,
was found dead upon the floor of one of
the rooms at her home, on Low street, this
morning, Her body was stiff frozen. She
was about 70 years old. lived by herself,
aud allowed but few persons 10 visit her.
The supposltion is that she was frozen to
death.
The kitchen and smoke-house on the
farm Of Mr.. Hunter Esus. IN Prince George
county about three miles from town, were
DESTROYED by fire night before last and
with them the family provisions were
burned. The dwe!ling-house was tortu-
nately saved.
During the early hours of the day there
was fine sleighing in TINS city. After noon
the sport was pretty well DESTROYED by the
warm RAYS OF the sun. A lady and gentle
man were thrown from sleigh on Syca-
more street by runaway horse, but
neither was hurt beyond few slight
bruises.
NEw-YEAR's EDITION.
A splendid edition of the Indep-AppeGl
will be issued on the LIST Of January, "a copy
of which. elegantly bound, will be sent TO
the Worlds Fair. 1t will contain a com
plete record historical, descriptive, and
statistical-of Petersburg and the South
side section of Virginia, and will be of
great value aud interest.
talk with the merchants OF this city
ellcits the fact that the Christmas trade
this year was much better than has been
known for many years before. and nearly
all Of II done upon cash basis. The secret
Of this increased trade lies in the tact that
the farmers of the SouthsIde are in better
financial condition than for q long while
past their abundant crops are bringing
better prices, and they are enabled to
spend more money.
BRILLIANT CoTILIoS.
The season has been marked by much
gayety. \ brilliant cotlllon was given at
the Grays' Armory last night. at which the
beauty and cbivalry Of the city were gath
cred. The social and party gatherings in
the country are very numerous. and many
such delightful occasions are promised IN
both city and country IN the early days Of
January.
A number of the representatives of the
dinerent insurance companies who lost by
the Christmas fires in Petersburg are IN
the city to-day 10 adjust their respective
losses
Mr.. W S. Copeland and wife, of Dan.
VILE. are spending the Christmas holidays
In Petersburg.
Professor Sheppard of Randolph Macon
Oohege. Is here with bus family.
DIED OF HER ISJCRIEs.
The colored woman, Nancy Ball, who
was 30 terribly burned on Monday by her
clothes catching FIRE al the CRATE died last
night OF her injuries.
Mr. llm. Campbell, while shooting OF
some fireworks in Bradford on Monday
nignt. was painfully injured by the pre-.
,a,Ss e1ploslon Of q bomb. He narrowly
ceived severe scalp wound