Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1892-09-02
WHO CLEANS II Up {?
The Board Of Health Does Not
Touch Rubbish
IN TIE STREETS AND ALLEYS
A Large Amount II Red Tape Must Be
Used Before a Nuisance IS FIN
aly Disposed o.


Street cleaning is one CT the newest
and most popa.ar games IN 0Eand
Rapids Just al present It's such
fllny game, 600. Any person or any
nGm0er OF persons can play AZ lli bat
unless you SNOW ali th7 points Of TIE
games you eau via. Il IS exciting
yery exciting 1, requires more nerve
than i niece ssarY ~ '0uck' faro
IaDk and .s1lulhug' lnaL Mi Ala the
psi % a poker game doesn't count pa
tais. sewers. prominent citizens are
studying me game AMI hope o. master
al ~ is inlricaciss. The hrst thing
necessary $ a heap Of foul smelling,
health destroying garbage and nltn m
tie street or alley --somstning THAI no.
body ia ths n-ignbOrhOod knows any
thing about or = responsible for. Then
the fret player, Who ought 10 be
. crank and insist that altar OF roses
should b. used 10 sprinkle the streets,
must 70 20 the board OF health and
kick. Then the man at the Office OF
the board OF health says IT'S blamed
funny how any dirt ever got IN that
part Of the town. and the fFst player
says, "by gosh. It's there. and he
doesn't Ike the smell. OF course the
city can't be expected 10 devote ITS
time % hunting up smells that suit the
individual pleasure Of each and every
citizen. bat the man &C the board OF
health office says he'll have the matter
looked up.
Tells the In.Peetor
Accordingly nc tells 8 sanitary
Inspector that the man up AZ
No. 1882 Carton street . grumb-
ling about the odors from some sort Of
rubbish. and suggests that the Inspector
make an investigation. Bot the in
spector has more 10 DO IN IA minute
than ne can accomplish ia five hours;
because there lsn't enough of him. It's
beneath the dignity OF a great city 20
keep enough employees IN the health
o ffice. and 4 cleanliness IS IN any way
allied 10 Goodness there may be a
danger that someone would think re-
Lyon was playing part N the city
government
Besides a sufficient number of in
spectOrs WCuid spoil the game. But
the Inspector goes up there after a
while and holds MS nose until ne gets
around the corner OF the block. Then
he writes on slip of paper shat there
: dead cat 10 the street or that some
body's COW mas persisted IN dying IN
the alley. But the board of health
doesn't have anything 10 DO with cats
that die in the street and cows that die
IN the alley. They're out OF lts line,
and so the man that Is mean enough
10 kick about sueh little things g sent
10 the city marshsPs office. lie de-
parts from the city marshaPs Office
with his stock of knowledge increased
by the fact that the marshal Is not the
guardian or next friend Of dead cats or
cpws, and that Il he wants any such
trivalties removed ne must go to the
street commissioner of that district.
He Getsthe Laugh.
The street commissioner is supposed
TO report at the city marshaPs Office
every day. That's where the street
OmmisslOner gets the harsh, brutal
laugh on the mean man and the city
marshal. lie sometimes does not show
up for two or three days and the mar
shall has no opportunity TO inform him
about the mean mans compliant.
By this tims the odOr of decayed cats
and decOmpOsing cows has become
firmly fixed IN the neIghborhOOd and Is
regarded As a fixture along with the
lawn and parlOr furniture. But the
street commissioner = willing TO do his
duty and sd goes up there come after
noon 20 look lt over. lie finally de-
cides that 10 might toe a good idea to
have the animals buried sooner than
create any satisfaction with the
municipal government, and 80 decides
To have IL done.
Just "a ne reaches this conclusion he
Il iscOvers that there aren't any funds
in tho district to pay for removing
them, and that be must 20 % the alder
man Of the ward. As soon "a he gets
time he speaks 20 the alderman about
u, aud the city father promises TO bring
the matter up AZ the next meeting of
the common council. In the mean
time the deceased cat and the desunct
COW are scattering their sweetness over
property that's worth sl50 foot front.
Lost In the Mud
AZ the next session OF the council the
matter - brought up. aud If nobody
moves 90 refer % % a special commit
tee composed OF the city attorney
and the alderman from the ward
the nuisance - ordered abated. But
bY tbs time the animals nave become
covered with the dust and dirt OF the
street and alley. Besides. irs cold
weather and hardly worth while for the
city ro 20 t0 the additional expense OF
digging them ont with pick ar. The
rex year IT the mean mans family
have typho.d fever and diphthe-ia the
ne ~ nors say ga b. cause tue children
are so mean, and tae board Of health
advises ham o. boil the city water.
Tbs the game, and { aay man can
piay 10. and WIN before the cold wealth
sr comes. - i'm the language OF a once
Popular song. Cuckoo, aud his busi-
ness be knows we'll
Ths is the routine decided upon
bY the powers that be-, bu. Mr.. Ran
som. OF the city attorney office. SAYS
it woutj help matters 10 the board of
health would report all eases u,me-
distely 90 tue council. and decrease a.
much as possible tbe amount Of red
tape used Persons that cant wait
for legislative action in regard % such
matters Will not be prosecuted If they
have the q tv Tubolsn removed At
thor naNff e xni.rrsn.