New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1892-03-14
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The Rev. DR.. Charles Wood. the pastor of the First
Presbyterian Church Of Germantown Penn. has an,
nounced his intention If wearing gown whie oncats
Ing lie says that the practice Is not unPresbyerian.
though II may be un-PhIladephla and un"ernantovn.
But the fact that IS Germantown is enough tn
condemn 10 with some OF his people, who will probably
oppose H.
Now boys" said tho teacher. az have few cues.
lions In fractions suppose had piece OF beefsteak
ana Su " S@o p Sae Ga he ean Correct ans
II cut each half in two pieces ?" quarters" That's
light and If Tho quarters arc each cut IN haifi,,
aEishths' Quite and 4 those were each chopped
In two :" "Sixteenths.' very good ana when ,he
Here there was some hesitation, but In moment two
bows said. thirty seconds Just right Just right
9G t h soy Ss'S e now S Silence followed this question:
rhle the boys shifted uneasily and the audience held
s breath DO none OF YOU know ?" asked the teacher
Come I'm sure that some can toll me.' There
moments pause and then hand was raised and
f b iTS'E n DSy - w n Johnne what, iash
said the youngster and there was burst II applause
philadelphia Record.
The quarto- centennial Of Nebraka's admission to
Statehood will be observed in that state on May 20.
Agy-Do you think. my love. that your father Will
Angely- OF course papa will be sorry 10 lose me.
darling.
daughter he will gain a Son .
Angely! wouldn't do that. love. II you really want
me. Papa has three such sons living Mt home now,
and he's little bit tOuchy on the pont-tId-B Bus
Much unconscious and unlntendcd humor may be
found in newspaper descriptions OF machinery. "The
Evening POST Of New-York, in describing a locomotive
for railway traction recently, says 1.-The engine
twenty five horse power and OF the double cynnder
pattern that il be run either forward or oac-
ward Doubtless with third cylinder, Power no
marks that engine could be run sideways. The same
reporter would probably expect four cylinder engine
10 60 both ways at onoe.-Qondon Engineer.
Grateful Response-An emplovcr recently adyer.
tscd in a London paper for a clerk understanding
ana the anS ersn For aS eie aRs
fcauons he offered a salary Of $50 per annpm ie
years Of ase and ~as cdacaied at OXFORD rnyey
where / matrculated In 1863, being senior Wrangler
in ls7f ] write shorthand at the rate OF 400 words
a minute and can operate two typewriters at once.
should this latcr accomplishment be Of use in your
Office. would be pleased to supply the maehlnes.
expert accountant. and would be prepared 70 work
more than have been receiving. and would accept
les, living on nuts and water my sIpen.ss arc
that I'm the event OF my decea-e while IN your en
ploy you will feel under no moral obligations % SUP,
6 6p 40 am ' he eT holder q The London Mcrrban gold
medal for essay on overpaid Clerls or Why n
ment.. which / would be happy to detail at al IN
tervicw."-(The Paper World.
Though Fred Emerson Brooks is looming" IS
"the poet OF the Pacific Slope" he Is an Eastern
man. and graduate Of Madison University. Hamilton
y. Y. In parts Of California they THINK he Is
"a bigger man than old Milton"
Remarked the young man in swelling tones, I'm
agnostic.'
Elderly Genteman-And what Is an agnostcl
Fresh Youth-.An agnostic IS fellow who Isn't sure
Of anything.
Elderly Gentleman-I but how does it happcl
you are you agnostc 7-(Doston Transcripts
Dr. Gee Hulk, Chinese physician Of Philadelphia,
IS prepared 70 cure everybody OF everything. In MS
circular he says "A thousand times better II Is 10
try the virtues OF my Chinese vegetable remedies than
to throw money away on those who cannot help you
TO get well. BY the use OF Gee Huk's remedies You
regain your health and your wealth while II YOU
20 % another doctor you lose both. Gee Hulk Is the
mnsterng angel OF the great physician, Nature whose
remedies ial He has uncovered Natures secrets
and IS beneftng his felow-man by the discoveries
which he and his ancestors before him have made
." How do you understand the phrase an lmpres-
sonst picture ~ asked the country cousin Ok the city
cynic as they In the art gallery why, an I'M
pressionlst picture Is that leaves on your nind
the impression that II Is a picture OF cow hnd the
Impression fingers until you look at the catalogue and
read that il Is picture OF water spaniel '-(Bostoa
Transcript.