The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1892-01-31

red wniskers with his fork That settled
IL with him. | could not respect him after
that He also nut his teeth on the table
while speaking Of his ancestors. | hate
that A man who cannot speak freely of
his ancestors without removing his teeth
al table is no friend of mine
Isabella, it has been said. pawned her
jewels that Columbus might go to the
west and find new would. The historian
says she did not do that. So. in the wom-
an s department of the great exposition
Isabella should not be permitted to hold
the place which by rights Queen Victoria
should hold. Victoria is very different
from Isabella. She IS upright as q mon
arch, and has never once stepped aside
from the path of duty in order to crafty
her own selfish wishes. She has put in
her little old eight hours per day reigning
just the same as she would if God had
told her TO stand behind counter and
rap on the show case and call cash" for
the same numoer of years.
So the historian saws that Queen Isa-
bella, hoping for new realms TO govern
and for several new sealskin sacques on
the return of Columbus. babe him god
speed and made him sign q cast-iron con-
tract 10 turn over all his discoveries to her
and Ferdinand. Then. believing that the
great traveller would strike Asia, they gave
him letter of introduction to the khan of
Tartary instead of letter to Sitting Bull,
as they should have done, and he set out.
lie was TO be commodore of Long Island
sound If he succeeded. and governor-gen-
eral of Constabie's Hook. He was. by
contract, permitted to retain one-tenth of
al gold, silver, pearls. precious stones and
pets found on the voyage after the costs
had been deducted.
And so the story gradually comes down
to the spinal column OF lust for gold, not
only on the part OF his royal hackers but
even Columbus and his crew were out for
the dust and that alone. What COM
monpiace tale after our schoolboy wonder
and admiration. Whenever Columbus
landed he asked if gold existed there. If
not, he assessed the natives so much cot
ton per head. When there was gold. it
was hawks bill of this metal per man
and calabash OF gold per chief. The ro-
tundlty OF the earth did not worry him so
much as his own rotundite.
Finally Columbus got TO lying again.
He gave offices TO his relatives, not only
to his wifes family, but at last ne got
reckless and began to hand out offices to
his numerous children. 1t was then time
to call halt as the local Genoa papers so
truly said, and when he offered to open up
slave trade between Spain and the Ba-
hamas people lost faith IN him.
1t is pretty we'll settled that Columbus
drew the prize for iirst seeing land, when
as a matter of fact one of his men was
first to see 1T, aua that he put the money
into watch with peach stone charm on
the chain.
Columbus had been dead go years be-
fore he learned that his discovery was not
part of Asia. We can imagine him now,
as he rode along the Jersey coast, inquir-
ing for the Ahkoond of Swat, to whom he
had letter from Ferdinand. / can see
him now at the Potter building or the
Mills building asking for the khan of Tar
tary, or trying to find his telephone num-
Der on a pink pamphlet at the ferry.
Yet we might as well give to Columbus
the glory of this great discovery, whether
he did it accidentally or from a mereenary
point of view purely. We will let that go.
The time is ripe for celebration. Let us
celebrate. When Columbus came here
Patrick Henry had not even been sur
missed; Henry Clay had not been thought
Of
The application of electricity had not
been dreamed of, and the pink tea was yet
unborn. Oh, what strides have been
made even in one century, and in 400
years the change has been most marvel
Gus. The use of ensilage at the time of
the discovery of America was vet in its
infancy. Lots of people did not know
what it was. 1t is so even now.
Religion was at that time in a rudi-
mentary state. Now it is perfected and
was a calamity; now it is blessing, and
is rarely as fatal as it used TO be.
Cooking has advanced with giant strides.
Pie. both plain and engraved, has been in
troduced. The breveted pie with mono
gram has taken the place of the early tart.
which was not durable, and which yielded
readily TO the action OF the stomach.
Craftsmanship as means of obtaining
livelihood has come to stay. The study
of government is beginning to interest the
scholarly, while those who are not schol-
arly continue to scoop in the votes and do
the growing.
Whether Columbus discovered this coun-
try on purpose or not, the writer of these
lines is much obliged to him. Whether
he did it for revenue only or for the adj
vancement of civilization, his courage is
worthy our respect and esteem, and it Is
my own earnest wish that his little episode
in honor of his four hundredth anniversary
may score success, as the dramatic critics
sometimes say.