davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
Choliy Paid IL.

She is very pretty girl. Her work
takes her every day to the Leland Hotel,
where her white fingers beat a prosaic
tune. on the keys of the typewriter.
she Is as modest as pretty, and rs she
writes business letters and long contracts
Tor the gentlemen who are guests at the
hotel never do her big, black eyes wan
der beyond the limits of her work.
And her customers, being gentlemen,
respect her womanly modesty and meet
her strictly Cd business basis. But
one day last week there came to the
hotel young fellow whose misfortune
It was to have been born in one of the
first families of New York. In his art
less way be noticed the pretty type
writer and tried to start a Irritation with
her. But the pretty girl was strictly on
business bent and paid no attention to
the youthful scion of Gotham aristocra-
cy. He persisted, however, and finally
succeeded in embarrassing the young
lady SO that she left her work and went
out for a breath of fresh air. Then
the New York youth wrapped both
hands around his throbbing brain and
thought. He would approach the coy
but bewitchlng typewriter from a bust
ness standpoint and dictate a letter to
her which would reveal the state Of his
feelings. This great plan arranged his
features relaxed into smile such as
fits over the bosom of fried egg when
it is turned over i'll the pan. Presently
the pretty girl came, her cheeks rosy
with the exercise of the walk. Before
she had taken off her gloves the diplo-
mat approached and stated that he
wished to dictate letter. She could
not refuse. But the lady who was op-
Grating the other typewriter came to her
assistance.
"You need not take off your gloves,
Jean,' she said, ''I'll take the gentle
| mans letter."
The gentleman came as near froWning
as he could without dropping his eye
glass. But he could not escape.
'My dear ANNIE" he began. II have
been absent from you a week, and so
far l have been faithful even in thought.
My train leaves in fifteen minutes, but
who knows what might happen III that
short space of time?" Then he looked
meaningly at the pretty girl. Her
black eyes were flashing ominously.
operator. Chollie said he wouldn't
trouble her to address the letter.
~Iow much do l owe you?" he
asked.
Give dollars" calmly replied the
operator, gazing serenely at the rolling
pillows on Lake Michigan. Cholly's
patrician blood rushed to his pocket
book
"What," he gasped, $50 for that little
note? / thought your rate was cents a
line"
"My dear SIR" said the operator very
slowly, "letters of this kind come high,
but suppose we must nave them. My
bill is S."
Cholly paid it.-Chicago Times.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
Didn't Hurt HIM.

Ex- Collector ''Tom" Murphy, once a
familiar figure in Washington, is there
for his first visit to the capital IN eight
wears. Talking to reporter he grew
reminiscent and said:
envy first visit to Washington was
when Seward was senator from New
York, and that was the time he made
his higher law speech that attracted
the attention of the whole country.
While young man l was very intimate
with Seward and his family. | lived in
Albany when he was governor, away
back in the Sos. My first visit to the
Senate was for the purpose of hearing
him speak. He made great speech.
bitter and insulting language by Senator
Foote, of Mississippi, and the language
he used was so offensive, in my judg-
ment, that I could hardly restrain my
self from jumping from the gallery and
choking him. l dined a. Senator Sew
ards house that evening, and to my ut
ter amazement the gentleman sitting
next to me was Senator Foote. When
the ladies retired from the table [ left
nv seat and went around to Seward and
said:
"sSenator, l heard that man sitting
next to me at your table abuse you In
such gross manner that | was indig-
nant. / can't understand it.
Senator Seward laughed heartily and
colled out:
"'Foote, I want this young man to 60
around and tell you what he has just
told me-
Senator Foote also laughed heartily,
and said to me:
"'Young man, want to give you a
lesson in politics. Seward lives in New
York, and when he makes a speech in
opposition to slavery, and l reply to
him and denounce him, that helps me
at home, aud Seward tells me it doesn't
hurt him bit"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
\ FatherIy Kaiser.

This thrilling bit of news comes IN
H. tho ocean In the shape of q cable
u uTam NC dated at Berlin: "The Princess
EE ,a Leopold, of Prussia, having
1 ae,arad her desire to rear her infant
ueoi a,;thont the aid of the bottle. the
1 Emp ~ien has paused amid grave duties
E = Pr n announce his formal consent
20 ., this a portant domestic arrangeme !,
p WI; nnass IF ali court festivities for the
Ir asant YEAR Mr.. Gilbert, of comic
press fame. has affirmed that "a police
opeI,a s i lat T. not happy one.a From
Ilan in Indications it would appear that
rec e, amneror is no happier-at least,
OF III Not e If the German Emperor. That
no. .a ,nas has his hand pretty full just
po ow in his determination to exerclse
nloot nov supervision over everybody
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
The Testimony of an Expert.
Mr.. A. H. Braley

The Testimony OF an Expert.
The claim has been frequently made
in these columns that Reds GERMAN
CoUGH AND KIDNEY CURE contains no
poison and can be given to children
without the slightest danger. This is a
great thing to say, because the ordinary
cough remedy contains opiates or mar
cotics, and many child has been over
come by too great dose. In order to
settle this question for REDS GERMAN
COUCH AND KIDNEY CURE we have sub
mitted the case to Mr.. Chas. B. Allaire,
the head of the well-known pharma-
ceutical house of Allaire, Woodward q
Co., the largest drug millers in Central
Illinois, and one of the leading houses
in the West. Mr.. Allaire is practical
chemist, microscopic Of learning and
authority, and gentleman of wealth
and standing. After full and careful
examination he says:
81 am acquainted with the formula of
REDS GERMAN CoUGH AND KIDNEY
CURE, and know that the claim that is
made-it contains no opiate or any de-
leterious drug-is strictly true. 1t is an
exceedingly valuable remedy, and I am
glad to know that it is meeting with
such large SALE"
MI. Allaire is in no way interested in
the Sylvan Remedy Co., and his high
character makes this testimony of value.
He will indorse this statement by letter
if anyone wishes to write him.
GeC this great remedy of any dealer.
Prize twenty-five and fifty cents bot
tie. SYLVAN REMEDY Co., Peoria, Ill.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

THERE is more Catarrh in this section of the
country than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
incurable. For great many years doctors pro.
nounced it q local disease and prescribed local
with local treatment, pronounced it incurable.
Science has proven catarrh to be constitu-
tional disease, and therefore requires constitu-
tional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure, manu-
featured by F. j. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio, is
the only constitutional cure on the market. 1t
is taken internally in doses from ten drops to q
teaspoonful. 1t acts directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces Of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any it fails to
cure Send for circulars and testimonials. Adj
dress, +. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, y.
ED-Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

and everything in his dominion. He
reads sermons to the sailors of his feet,
lectures his soldiers on the necessity of
AFFECT obedience to the sovereign and
the importance of abstainlng from ex-
cessive drinking, and proclalms that no
of1cer shall appear at court who is un-
able to dance, the result of which is that
every army barracks is turned into a
dancing academy, and the teachers of
saltatorial art are reaping a harvest.
And now he has invaded the nursery
and prescribed rules and regulations for
Its government. Truly, William is
bound to be father to his people.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
The Other Side.

Reuters special correspondent, now
in Russia, met in the course of his in
vestigations steward, Ivan Ivanoivitch,
who had been through the Crimean
war. He was wounded at the battle of
Balaclava, and gave the correspondent
a vivid description of the charge of the
Light Brigade.
eve were SO sorry for them,' he
said. "they were such fine fellows, and
they had such splendid horses. It was
the maddest thing that was ever done.
l cannot understand it. They broke
through our Lines, took our artillery,
and then, instead Of capturing our guns
and making off with them, they went
for us. l had been in the charge. OF
the heavy brigade in the morning,
and was slightly wounded. We had
all unsaddled, and were very tired.
Suddenly we were told, The English
are coming 'Confound them, we
said. My colonel was very angry, and
ordered his men to give no quarter.
wound bandaged when saw them coma
ing. They came on magniicently. We
thought thew were drunk from the
way they their lances. Instead
of holding them under their
armpits they waved them In the
air, and, of course; they were
easier to guard against like that. The
men were mad, sir. They neyerseemed
to think of the tremendous odds
against them, or of the frightful carnage
that had taken place in the ranks in the
course of that long, desperate ride.
They dashed in among US. shouting:
cheering. and cursing. | never saw
ANYTHING like it. They seemed per-
fectly irresistible, and our fellows were
nuite demoralized. The fatal mistake
we made IN the morning was to receive
the charge of your Heavy Brigade
standing. instead of meeting it with
counter-shock. We had SO many more
men than you that had we, continued
our charge down hill, instead OF calling
a halt lust at the critical moment. we
shonld have carried everything before
rs The charge of your Heavy, Brigade
was magnificent, but they had to thank
orr bad management for their victory.
We liked YOUR fellows. When our men
took m prisoners. they used to give them
our vodka. Awful stuff 1t was, more
like spirits of wine than anything else.
Your fellows used to offer us their rum
in exchange, but we did not care tor
Il. # was too soft and mild. The Ru q,
SIAN soldier must have his vodka. =
london Erchdn1e.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
August
Flower

am ready to testify under oath
that if it had not been for August
Flower should have died before
this. Eight years ago I was taken
sick, and suffered as no one but
a dyspeptic can. l employed three
of our best doctors and received
no benefit. They told me that had
heart, kidney, and liver trouble.
Everything I ate distressed me so
that I had to throw it up August
Flower cured me. There is no med
icine equal to it." LORENZO F.
SLEEPER, Appleton, Maine. o
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
Bold f ootpads.

"In former days the tool Of high
wayman consisted of an ordinary sand
BAG or Billy said Chief Of Detectives
Desmond to the st. Louis Globe-Demo-
crat.
ARMED with this weapon, the foot
pad would lie in wait in some dark al
lev. pick out belated traveller, and as
he came by step noiselessly up behind
him.
ga sharp blow on the head settled
the matter, and the robber would
search his victim at his leisure. The
sandbae was too unhandy to carry, and
it often led to the capture of danger
Gus criminals.
Nowadays footpads travel by threes.
| They will walk up the street together,
and a victim is selected as he comes
along. The garroters will walk in front
of him until a dark corner is reached,
and then purposely make room for him
.!The pedestrian will, in nine cases
out of ten, take the bait. and attempt to
hurry by.
las he does 30, the tallest of the
three will throw his arms around the
victims threat, and force him back
ward.
"a second man will deliver a quick
blow in the stomach which settles the
traveller, and the third man does the
searching. So quickly is the work
done that the victim seldom has time
to get description of his assailants."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
Vile and Unworthy

E,dIs-aton are nostrum of which It Is as
and there are many such-that thev
rnediaiely bodily ailments of long stand
There are none such that can. Chronic
.ar, cannot be instantaneously removed.
unity in the use of genuine medicine,
rs Hosetter's Stomach Bitters, will eradi-
hOnc physical evils. Not the least Of
,lst in the force of its opposition to medi-
to the removal of which. if
td in, the Bitters is particularly adapted.
eic,On of the bowels is a complaint which
ibe dealt with early and Systematically.
nsusual attendants, liver complaint and
gsia. For these. for malaria, rheumatism.
and more recently "la grippe"
highly and professionally commended
ne is an undoubted specific. Nothing
tctei it, moreover, as means of impart-
Rngh to the feeble and nervous.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
ao in a Hearse.

,.roller of the Brooklyn Eagle
be t'iO Nth q couple of lawyers
bbins ,a " after-dinner, speakers in
be bes' hem brought to mind a
] ne o. 'aDick" Underhill, who
Zion o. ,lar lawyer and politician
! ery And it is sometimes be-
obyn.. an after-dinner speaker
bat as e@n l him. He died
. Pas wears earl ago. In his younger
peIVgh ~ wa was district attorney and
fben ND nd wide, it CHANGED that he
ohr anu inch one day at which
earl! yot l freely with some of
SSeu If was away back about
G'' , aa ago-when things were
rb'e 4; as a. they are now-and the
pCn41 fellow, with hosts of friends,
&C., Ibid dignity aside while
buy ;bom as though it were
comfortable cloak ~ standing
: sorse in Carroll Place d
n .ou after the lunch had termi-
u! aas51perhill espied a hearse on the
DG ;Je of the street which the
dc sa ~. had left unguarded a mo-
E ebiIe he went indoors. II am
Sn l1 want to lie down in that
sp ssid Underhill to his friends,
I, 10 sa i, and | want some of you
W NJ ma f to the city hail. No soon
~ Ish n done. In less than three
y. 'H .%llck" was stretched out at
a. 18th on his back in the hearse,
t y; racancy. Two OF his friends
~ 70 the drivers seat, the others
y. m NJ mourners, and away went
~ iisr a' melancholy and slow up
greet to the city hall. By the
~ sIr rrrocession arrived at to that
:nr structure the following was
' aTd excited. All the world was
!, W. II see funeral conducted
~ ~ decent coffin; and the mysti-
~ was uncomfortable when the
y rss seen to get out Of the hearse
oItplv bow to the pall-bearers,
hon skip up the city hall steps.
dinner din speeches in the present
I Grace are not exactly of "Dick"
jbiIps pattern. Enumerating
Who are usually admitted to be
'tbe most entertaining, mention
, made of Judge Moore, James
AZ, Gen. Catiln, DR.. Talmage, DR..
t;p,vart /. Woodward and Mayor
The best efforts Of the after
sneaker of this side of the river
are reported in print. They are
at private club dinners
I'll the general public hears lit
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
The Oldest Medicine in the World is Probably
DIR. ISAAC THONPSON'S
Gel ERRATED EYEwATER

This article is carefully prepared Physicians pre-
scripton, and has been in constant use for nearly
century There are few diseases which mankind
are subject distressing than and none,
perhaps for which more remedies have been tried
Without success. For all external Inflammation or
the ewes it is infaliible remedy. If the directions
are followed it Will fail. We particularly invite
the attention of physicians to its merits. For sale by
ali druggists. JOHN L. THOMPSON. SON g. CO..
Troy & V Established 1897.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
The Only One Ever Printcd-Can
You Find The Word?

ia this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one word. The same
is true of each new one appearing each
week from The DR.. Harter Medicine Co.
This house places Crescent on every
thing they make and publish. Look for
it, send them the name of the word, and
they will return you BOOK, BEAUTIFUL
LITHOGRAPHS. or SAMPLES FREE.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
The Ladies.

The pleasant effect and perfect safety
with which ladies may use The California
liquid laxative Syrup of Figs under all
conditions, makes it their favorite remedy.
To get the true and genuine article, look
for the name of the California / ig Syrup
Co., printed notice on the bottom of the
package
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

KELLEY says drunkenness is disease
and the symptoms are said to be quite
joyful. Columbus Post.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

ANY book in s'Surprise Series" (best
authors), Is cent novels, about 200 pages
each, sent free, post paid, by Cragin d Co.,
of Philadelphia, Pa, on receipt OF 20 wrap.
pers of Dobbins' Electric Soap. Send l
cent for catalogue.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

STREAMING AND HACKING your Lungs
and Throat with rasping Cough, is but
poor policy. Rather cure yourself with
DIR. d. Jayne's EXpectorant, an excellent
remedy for Asthma and Bronchitis.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

Miss ETHEL MACKENZIE, daughter of
the great throat doctor, is the London
correspondent of a Chicago paper.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

For Coughs and Throat troubles use
Browns Bronchial Troches.-"Ihey
stop an attack of my asthma cough very
promptIy''-C. Fdlcb, MiamjUitte, Oha0.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

SIR C. GAvAN DUFFY has one of the
finest collections Of rare and little
known gems in the world.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03
Made to Look Like New.

Dresses, Gents Clothing, Feathers, Gloves
etc., Dyed or Cleaned, Plush Garments
Steamed at Otto Pietch's Dye Works, 246
w. Water ST., Milwaukee. Send for CIR
cular.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

The young Empress of Germany is a
champion knitter, and uses big wooden
needles for most of the work she does.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

QUEEN VICTORIA firmly believes tina
objects made by blind persons brlni
luck,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

Mrs. LANGTRY draws the designs for
most of her theatrical costumes.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

bis currently reported that Mason
|GkSOn, who was petted, and Great
| Baron by the late King of Wurtem-
b will shortly visit Steubenville, o.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

BEEcHAM's PILLS cure sick headache,
dlsordered liver. and act like magic on the
vital organs. For sale by all druggists.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

GALLoPING CONSUMPTION may be avoided
by the timely use OF HALE's HONEY OF HORE-
HOUND AND TAR.
Pixies TooTHAcHE DROPS Cure in One Min
ute.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

REPRESENTATIVE BINGHAM, of Pennsyl-
vania, has gained the reputation of be-
ing the best dressed man in Congress.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

WILLIAM O'BRIEN is one Of the most
short-sighted men in Ireland.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

The King of Greece speaks twelve
languages.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-03-03

LORD TENNYsoN is not very strong in
his spelling.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1892-03-17
ALGER IS AN ASPIRANI.
HE is IN THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE TIC
WIN BY ALL HONORABLE MEANS.
We'll Satisfied with the Present Admin
istrntion but the Ofice, lie Holds. Is
Open to Atlas a Surprise Regarding
Ills War Record.

CHICAGO, March 9.-Gen. Russell A.
Alger in an interview here to-day said :
"For many months | have BEEN importuned
by influential republicans in Michigan and
other States to become candidate Tor the
republican presidential nomination., and
have consented.
My candidacy does not mean that there
is any dissatisfaction on my part or on the
part Of my friends with the administration
of President Harrison. Harrison has made
good president, but 1t is the right oil
every American citizen to aspire TO the
presidency. ] am an aspirant and l shall
hereafter use all honorable means to enlist
support from all sections Of the country
| shall have the solid delegation from
Michigan | shall have support from other
States, but | do not care to state what 1T 8
and where it come FROM
The general also said he had Informed
Southern republicans who wrote to him on
tue subject that he would not use money to
assist his candidacy. He remarked: II
would not spend money to assist me II l
knew that it would make me president to-
morrow. II rnan cannot win by honor
| able means lie should he defeated.
Speaking of his war record, Gen. Alger
y atel that he had surprise in store Tor
| Charles a. Dana. 81 have been in cores
poudence, " he said, ''with the secretary of
war In regard to the official records OF the
war department. Yesterday Secretary FL
liins sent me the latest Of the copies OF al
the records in the case. In my Office in De
troit stenographers are preparing tran
script Of the documents, which could not by
any stretch OF ina ination be construed As
rejecting on me- From these records pre-
! fer n bn iuhupi prDuO.e . be ylnilcOt j
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1892-03-17
A CASE IN aPUNNY LhMOILLe.


Thomas j. Baker sued one Jacobs in as
sulnpslt and recovered Ii verdict in the La
noble County Court. Being elated thereat,
in true l.anoiIie STYLE he directed tine de-
putty sheriff VINO mad had them in charge to
get tno jury Together at the American
house and ordered the landlord "to set EN-
up, =" and tne jurors pufed penny cgars at
the eAvrn,e OF said Thomas. The fact be-.
ing verified 10 tue court II set aside the YER
dict. " hel eupon the said Baker eudeavor-
ed to bake jacobs dough in We Supreme
Court. The doughty and valiant Jacobs
| read TO tie Supreme Court the statute
more than n century Old, against troatin d,
jurors AMI especially with 'vlctuals aud
drink, and the erudite and polished Col.
Sawyer read rare Bon Johnson, the Cen
fury dictionary and like authorities, to
prove that teri ackern was both "A victual
and drink while the witty and versa
tile Phillip surnnmed G.eed of
| Morrsvile argued to the contrary.
| The court did not deem it neccss ny 10
decide whether tobacco fell strictly within
the meaning of 'victuals or drink" but held
it to be treating of the jurors within the
true intent and meaning of the act and set
aside the verdict.
Gao OF tho JUICES held that it was both
! "victuals and drink aud vented his view:
/ as follows:
| Tat, j. / concur in tie result. Tobac
co il both a victual and drink. 1t is
| taken as a nourishment, sustenance, food,
etc; therefore, Il victual 1t is not an oh
soiete use of the word to call it drink
Joaquin Miller says: ~ drink the winds a.
drinking wine If man can drink wind.
| think he con drink tobacco smoke, vile and
sgusting as it is. A man is compelled tc
drink it, by having it pulled in his face on
all occasions and in all places, from the
cradle to the grave. 1t Is drink. Sol
aside the verdict