The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-03-11
ASSAULTS ON ETIQUETTE.
Jennings THAT have sEocK-
Z - Ed CHICAGO SOCIETY.

c,.-lss Lederer Has Few "Dont's"to
o.n-rhe Man Who Wore His Rub.
-a,n the Drawing Room, and His
o-o.ters Who are Liable to Similar
D.e,ks-Bright Repartee Thought OF
Afterwsrd.
csayle, Lederer in Chicago Herald.
1wss in a quiet nook in the smoking
=, n the club. There were two of US.
~, ~ .ub1sct turned quite accidentally to
a'..istv." had always looked upon my
,nsnion as a regular society young man,
"a said something to that effect.
..No said the young man, Il am by no
.ars a society man. Occasionally, OF
-" take in a reception. formal din
- o- something OF that sort-just enough
ue Zen the moths out of my dress suit.
y Thv nv dear fellow, don't you know that
W. not even dance. And as for the fads
~ foruallties of ultra-correct society,
nv | am as ignorant as a navy. Fact,
snt only the other day | received hint in
,onnd about way that I had fallen by
1..bions wsyside in not making party
I'll after a somewhat formal dinner. If
al af
10 known enough to make q party CALL
-, that a dinner party required it was
Jaw one on me. II must be right.
1bon0h. for | acquired the embarrassing in
,.1-mstion that had made break from the
,.orv highest authority. Still that wasn't
.s had as the break made by a really prom
irent board of trade man the other day
ron almost always see mis- name in the re-
3orts Of the swell gatherings. Well, this 10
ggbst he did: The response to a formal din
nsr invitation from a lady he wrote on his
business nose head!
However, much more atrocious thing
than that, even, was the recent act of the
EDITOR Of prosperous trade paper, who. in
sanding out Invitations 20 his wedding, had
the name of his Journal engraved on his
card That was simply iendish.
SOME BAD BREAKS.
"But make some frlghtful breaks some
times. continued the candid young man.
STbe other evening l spent an hour at a
stylisb party on the South Side before I
discovered that had failed TO shed my rub
Der overshoe5. Not a week ago, at a thea
ter party, entered the box. and, In full
view Of the audience, removed my cape
ulster, and with it my dress coat. or
course any one might know / had no inten-
non of sitting out the performance in
nv shirt sleeves, and untelescoped my
coats in jify. Would you believe it, but
a year or to ago did see, on a warm sum-
mers evening, q man who made fortune
in real estate sitting in his shirt sleeves in a
box in frst-class downtown theater. l
tried to get an usher have the man turned
ou, but be wouldn't do it.
"The ladies' don't often make breaks,
however, blessings on 'em, but they do some
sEfully brutal things sometimes-things
that destroy ones equanimity for whole
gYenings at a time. For instance:
Alta little dinner at Mrs. IS quite re-
emily was, through accident, few mo-
ue1ts later than the others, who were sitting
at the table. The only vacant chair, and
which, presumed, had been reserved for
me, was next to charming young lady.
"'MaY have sbe pleasure of sitting on
your right hand 2 Queried l.
"'If you don't mind would rather you
took chairp quoth she.
Son my way home thought Of an aw-
fully 0ang-up, clever repartee, but it was
too late. 1t was one OF my supersensitive
DAYS and my evening was spoiled. But she
treated another fellow even more brutally.
His father, you see, is in the pork packing
business and che son is little high strung,
and while he doesn't wish TO appear as being
ashamed of his old'nan or his business, the
young fellow likes to indicate occasionally
that he and the pig-sticking Industry are
not exactly en- rapport. Well, this young
Aiy happened TO inquire after the father
aud the son answered:
down in the stock yards, | suppose. /
lever see much of him. His main hobby is
pigs
Then said the young lady. looking him
night in the face as innocently as possible:
q" 4 wonder he doesn't take more intsrast
10 you
That girl is pretty. but intellectually
s1d socially she's a Zulu.
JOKE ON sPooNEs.
did you hear OF the Joke on Young
SpooDes. You know him-the big GOAL
'ealer's son. Been brought up awfullY
strict ana temperate. The old gentleman
Neps tight rein on him; brings him up
ncer than any girl. The joke is this: The
Gler evening we were all at the J.'s-a sort
dgo as you please but swell affair withal.
ine boy is awfully smitten with J. g daugh-
tf the pretty one with the auburn hair.
we'll, there was just light lunch served
and the men waited on the ladies to some
extent Young Spoones was crazy
VIII delight because he was waiting
Oh the red-Eaired beauty. There were
several standing near the resresh-
mnt table when the Spoones young man
zane up He had an empty wine glass In
nls hand and this 10 what he said to one of
Zoe men: %. Miss ]. says she'll have a little
nayonnaise-d'you know which bottle it's
N' HARMLESS break, that. but funny in its
way. A style Of break that is difficult to
s'oid unless you are quick mentally is
snen shaking hands with ladies to whom
you are being introduced. Some ladies
Nen to want to grasp your band
ala others don't. And you've got to
NOW which is which on the instant.
9Onetimes, when I've been intro
suced to, say, four ladies in group, the
aHt and third ladies have extended their
uanos and the second and fourth only bowed
Mo muttered their pleasure at the acquaint-
's Generally speaking, If the first two
aaEe why, make bluff at the others for
s'uaEe, too, and let it go at that. It's my
pan, anyway.
=, again, how many remember on the spur
we moment in introducing a gentleman
lady that the gentleman is the one that
introduced. aIi and not the lady.
.,, tue dress suit problem is not such an
s: y one, either, though theoretically it is
HIed that after 6 p. m. 1t is in order But
"'Oty and social law don't make a man
N! tGe more comfortable when he finds
s s's'eli the only one in an assemblage with
M TeSs suit. Theoretically he is supposed to
S s az ease because he knows he is right,
~ am unfortunately not constituted that
M. speaking Of dress suits, what do you
s lIA ought to be done with tailor who
~ put side pockets in dress suit trousersl
syd par came home that way to me a while
n.y. ana sent them back with a severe
sHS nip pockets and a watch pocket are
. s s.s statutes should permit. No man has
Lkut to stand with his hands in his