davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24

And when we get them packed away,
Up out of sight. Why, then,
Well shiver and we III shake to find,
That cold snaps here again.
-[Clothier and Furnisher.
BETTER THAN NOTHING.
cam the man of your choice ?" he
whispered.
"Well, no." was her hssitating reply,
mot exactly; but | guess you'll do"
HIS REVENGE IN SIGHT,
Jack Hardup with unwouted enthusi-
asm) By Jove! see that some fellow
is talking about introducing bill into
the House making it misdemeanor to
send annoying letters to any one. Very
clever idea that. I'll have my tailor
locked up for six months, by Jove!-
(Tid-Bits
AN EASY ONE.
"What is the difference between a COL
lege student and the man who has college
degrees conferred upon him for his cru
dition?"
zone gets his learning by degrees and
the other gets degrees by his Learning"
Ihf CONSoLAIlON Or THE SlA-FOOrEh.
Little maiden, toll me true,
What SORT of man most pleases your
She blushed and hung her pretty head.
""Tis Hymen like best" she said
Il Life.
NO FINANCIER WANTED.
Jess-And you want to be closer to me
than brother?
Dick-Yes, dear
Jess-"Twon't do; he is altogether too
close.
COULD THERE BE ANY DOUBT OF IT.
Acquaintance-Goi to be married
next Thursday? | congratulate you, old
boy! Who is to be best man?
Fweddy (highly indignant nt)-Best man?
Baw Jove! Me!-[Chicago Tribune.
HALLS AND HAULs.
He-It is so good of you, darling, to
accept me. But oven my great wealth,
am afraid, can't mako you forget that
my grandfather was a common fisher
man.
She-Why need forget it? l will tell
everybody about your "ancestral hauls,"
and on your income of 100000 n year,
we will be as happy as the day is long
New York Tribune.
THE PAINTING RACKET.
First Tramp-"What's the matter wild
Mike? He looks as if life wasn't wort
livin'."
Second Tramp-"That's jist how he
feels, Ye mind two days ago poor
man tainted in front O. that big house
over yonder, and the kind lady rushed
out wild bottle O. brandy to restore imp
81 mind"
"Wull, Mike, he tried tn faintin'
racket there this mornin' an tn ole lady
rushed out tn same as before. But
when she seed Mike, she said, Poor fel-
low, his pores is all stopped up so he
can't BREATHE says she, an then she
turned the hose on i'm. - Yew York
Weekly.
SCHEDULE TIME.
Hungry Traveller lat railway dining
station)-How soon will the train start
conductor?
Conductor-Pll start on time to-day. l
amt got much appetite.
DEATH AND THE CHICKENS.
The festive spring chicken,
With death, is alone
In rightfully claiming
All seasons its own.
HER ANSWER.
al guessed you loved me, sweet" said l,
And gazed within her eyes,
Like vioets shyly raised to mine
In maiden's soft surprise.
"When first your little hand held
guessed you loved me then"
She raised her lovely eyes once more
And whispered, "Guess agan!"
: New York Herald.
TOO CONSCIENTIOUS.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

A Double Entendre-Very Fly In
deed-A Strained JOke-Spring,
Gentle Spring-Better Than Moth
ing, Etc., Etc.
DOUBLE ENTENDRE.
"You don't know yet how she feels to-
ward you ?"
"No, but I'm going to make her show
her hand"
"How?"
Il shall present her with diamond
ring"
VERY FLY INDEED.
Wool-Bronson seems to be as fly as
ever he was.
Van Pelt-What has he been doing?
Wool-When | saw him last night he
seemed to be trying to walk on the CELL
ing.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24
TOO CONSCIENTIOUS.

First parishioner-I think we ought to
raise DIR. Thirdlys salary.
Second parishioner don't He is
such conscientious man that he would
feel bound to preach longer sermons
Kate Fields Washington.
ONLY GETTING READY TO GO.
"Has that lady who called on your
mother gone YETI"
"No, and she won't go for another
hour"
"How do you know"
because she just got up from her
chair and said well, must go-good-
by"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24
A MARKET IDYL.

1t was her first essay at marketing,
but she tackled the work with the beauti-
full han dihood of youth and inexperi-
ence.
"Have you canvas back ducks?" she
inquired Of the man in the stall.
"Yes, miss, and they are beauties, and
mighty scarce at this time of year. An
I've got mallards and red heads, too"
"You may cut me off three-quarters of
a yard of the canvas back, she said, in
her clear, classic tones; land cut it
diagonally so that it will not ravel, )" and
she looked about for the yardstick to see
that he did not cheat her in measurement.
-[Detroit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24

Alexandria, Egypt, possesses the largest
artificial harbor in the world.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24
VERY FLY INDEED.
A STRAINED JOKE.

First Anarchist members of our
club seem to be afraid of suspension.
Second Anarchist-Why should they
be afraid?
First Anarchist Because it always
ends fatally. = The Club.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24


FoR genuine grit and presence of
mind, }. N. Sacry, brakeman on the
Montana Union, is entitled to wear the
belt. Sacry is on the run between Butte
and Garrison. One evening recently he
left on his train for the terminal point,
but at Stuart some switching was neces-
sary, and Sacry got off to assist in doing
tho work. While walking along the
track, however, one of his feet became
fastened in switch frog, leaving him
exposed to the mercy of the backing
train, which was only a few feet away.
Being unable to extricate the foot, he
threw himself on the ground with force
enough to break one of his thigh bones
and wrench the foot from the frog Just as
the trucks of the first Car passed. The
unfortunate man was brought to this
city and taken to Murray & Gillespie s
Hospital, where his injuries were at
tended to. Taking into consideration
that this class of accidents is quite nu-
merous on railroads, and that very few
persons so caught escape more serious
injury, Sacry considers himself quite
fortunate in escaping even at the expense
of broken limb.
WIDOW ABIGAIL HoUGHToN, who lives
near Scranton, Penn, has 200 pet spar
rows and she has given up one Of the
rooms in tho house, where she lives alone
entirely to their use One of Widow
Houghton's geese got into the indiscreet
habit of laying in the weeds by the creek
on the place, and crow of the lower
classes, possessed of certain degree of
low cunning, "caught on. as they say in
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1892-03-24

OF her heart seemed to stop.
"' Ill! Dying y" she repeated, in
a sharp, agonized whisper. impossible
He must not be i'll! He dare not diep'
Her vengeance was not yet complete,
that revenge for which she lived-on
which she lived, her very life itself!
She fled from the place, and hiding
herself within her carriage, bade tho
couchman to drive to the home of George
Murray. She soon found that his condi-
ton had not been exaggerated. A vio-
lent and deadly form of typhoid had
stricken him, and he was already raving
in delirium. The physician made no
pretense of hope. He told Rachel plain
ly that in all human probability her
friend was doomed
There is but the shadow of chance
in hundred that he may live"
'But, doctor, we will take that one
shadowy chance, and lot the other ninety
nine go, " said Rachel.
Doctor Frank looked at her, but said
nothing; he didn't understand her.
Like every one else in the place, he knew
Kachel's story, and he asked himself:
Could it be possible, after all, that she
loved this man who had Tilted her and
broken her heart? Her face told him
nothing. She was very pale, and her
eyes gowed like live coals-but their
meaning was u mystery to him.
On the following morning Rachel took
her place in Murray's room. A capable
nurse was already there, and being a
woman, perhaps she understood Rachel
better than the doctor, anyway, she made
no objection to her presence, and if she
had, it would not have made any differ.
ence. Miss Landor was accustomed to
having her own way.
The days went by and grew into
weeks, and they were slow and tedious
to nurse and physician, as such DAYS
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

One of the strange effects that div
ing has upon these who practice it is
the invariably bad temper felt while
working at the bottom, and as this
irrltability passes away as soon as the
surface is reached again, it is only
reasonable to suppose that it is caused
by the unusual pressure of air inside
the dress, affecting probably the
lungs, and through them the brain.I
My experience has been that while
below one may fly into the most vioS
lent passion at the merest triflc; for
instance, the lifeline held too tight
or too slack, too much air or too lit
tie, or some imaginary wrong-doing
on the part of the tender or the BOYS
above, will often cause the temper to
rise. | have sometimes become Sd
angry in a similar way that | have
given the signal to pull up, with tho
express intention of knocking tho
heads OF the entire crew; but as tbs
surface was neared, and the weight of
AIR decreased, my feelings have grad.
ually undergone a change for the bet.
ter, until, by the time l reached tho
ladder and had the face-glass I'M
screwed, | had forgotten for what [
came up,-The Century.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

Years ago, when II was known thag
the supply Of copper In the Lake Su.
pcrior region was very large. and the
uses OF that metal in the arts were
confined TO certain well-estlblishcl
limits, no doubt there were peopl.
who foresaw a glut OF the copper
market, and looked for the time, not
iar removed, when copper mimi,
would scarcely pay expcn ;es, for want
OF sufficient demand for the article
But In the period, say twenty years,
which has since elapsed. many
things have happened, one of which
is the invention of the telephone. 1t
Is a remarkable device, and one Of
never-ceasing Interest as well as util.
ity; but IL would not at first glanci
appear to have any special relation to
the c0pper-mining industry. One OF
Its recent phases, however, has
very material bearing upon that in.
terest. 1t is stated that the Ameri.
can Bell Telephone Company hal
fifty lines OF long-distance telephone
in process of construction from Chica.
go TO New York, and that each will
require two lines of wire, making 100
lines of single wire. The distance
from New York to Chicago being but
a trifle less than 1000 miles. here is,
approximately, total Of 100. 900
miles OF copper wire. It's weight is
ia pounds to the mile, giving an ag.
gregate of more than 1000. 900
pounds, or over $500 tons. This ia
about 1000 tons more, it is said, than
the entire production Of the lama.
rack, one of the leading copper mines
OF the Lake Superior region, for the
year 1890. Twenty years ago. or
even ten years ago, the most far-see-
ing observer could not have antici-
pated this demand upon the copper
producing resources of the country.
And whether in electrical science or
In any other department of human
effort, it is just as impossible at this
moment to make q forecast of tho
situation which will exist in 1900 or
1910 as it was in 1870 or 1880 TO pre-
dict the advances which have been
made between those dates and the
present. 1t is difficult to realize, as
regards the progress of invention,
That the future is a sealed book pre-
clsely as the past has been. But it is
reasonable belief that the wonders
OF the future will surpass those of the
past; for the work of one decade only
broadens the foundation for the next !
Mechanical News.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

For weak eyes, a wash of weak salt
and water will prove of much benefit.
To rem2ve grease stains from
childrcm's clothing, wash it out whilc
fresh with alcohol.
To clean willow furniture use salt
and water. Apply with nail brush
and scrub thoroughly.
Damp salt will remove the discolor-
alton of cups and saucers caused by
tea and careless washing.
As useful and simple ointment
Tor snnb arm, nothing has been found
better than rose water and glyccrine.
a strong solution of alum, to which
has bee, added little glycerine and
vinegar, is cure for mosquito bites.
To keep nickel silver ornaments
and mounts bright rub them with
woolep cloths lhathave been saturated
in spirits of ammonia.
According 10 Mrs. Ewing of culin-
airy fame, hot lemonade is the proper
drink for hot weather, being both
cooling and wholesome.
1t may interest the everyday cook
10 Know that there are olive corers, by.
The uho of which that relish can be
s'o"co for sauce or garnishing.
Salt as a tooth powder is better
Than almost anything else that can be
boug'd. 1t keeps the teeth brilliantly
whi'", the gums hard aud rosy.
A simple cement for broken china
or eaF'henware is made of powdered
quicklime, sifted through a coarse
muslin bag over the white of an egg.
a remedy for creaking hinges is
mutton tallow rubbed on the Joint.
A great many locks that refuse to do
'he'f work are AMPLY rusted and will
be I'll right if carefully oiled.
Instead of putting food in the oven
to Keep hot for late corners, try cover
lrs 1t with tin and setting it over a
Oas'n of hot water. This plan will
keep the food hot, and at the same
n"0 prevent it from drying.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
New York's Woful Indian wards,

Ihe Indian of the State of New
lork is surrounded with none of the
romance that invests the Indian of
Ire plain; he has had little care and
al'nost no instruction; he has had no
model farms, no object lessons in
agriculture. no moral training; he is
ignorant, degraded and uncared-for
There are six reservations of Indians
Ia The Slate of New York, and on
QUO OF these, at least, the Onondaga,
nere are five hundred Indians. Be.
s'ues this there are the following III
uians on New York reservations: The
ionawanda. tho Tuscarora, the Cat
'araugns, the Allegheny, and the
ehinnecock of Long Island. The
young people OF these reservations,
under their unfortunate surroundings,
are growing up idle, degraded, and
vlclousi there is the greatest, the
most pressilgly earnest need of
taking away these children from the
reservations, and of preparing them
for ciiizenship.-CNcw York OBJ
server.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
MAnsnMALLows MADE TO ORDER.

mAhHiihAA@LtN - hADE ~ OhDEhs
II tell YOU" said the pretty school
girl, cit is harder 10 make good
marsrmallows than to trim a bonnet,
but when YOU do it right, they're just
mum AT school they allowed us TO
make them Saturday afternoons. Miss
P had special receipt which l
copied, and here it is:
Take two ounces of fine white pow
dered gum arabic, cover it with eight
tablespoonfuls of water, stand it aside
for one hour; then stand the vessel in
boiling water, and stir until the gum
is dissolved; strain through cheese
cloth into a double boiler and add
seven ounces of powdered sugar.
Stir this over the fire until the mix
ture is white and stiff. This will take
at least forty-tive minutes. Then stir
in hastily the wel-beaten whites Of
four eggs; take it from the fire, beat
rapidly for about two minutes, add
teaspoonful of vanilla. Dust square
Tin pau with corn starch, pour in The
mixture aud stand in a cool, dry
place. When cold cut into squares,
roll each square a little in corn starch,
put them away in a tin box, ''and,"
she continued, "ihen send them to
your fricnds'-at least that was Miss
P----'s advise.--TNew York Mail and
Express.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
He Voted as She Desired.

Mrs. Seymour Howells tells a story
of a woman who had husband il
deadly fear of her, says the Kansas
City Times. He was member Of
the Legislature, and his wife had in
sisted upon his voting for a woman
suffrage bill. He had promised to dc
so, but his better half was afraid tt
trust him, and so on the day the bill
was to come up she hied herself tC
the gallery in the legislative hall.
The roll was being called, and
when the husbands name was
reached he got up and said; "Mr
Speaker, | regret to cast my vote
against this bill, but" At this
instant tall woman with a pene-
trating voice leaned over the gallery
rail and said "Wilbertl" And then
Wilbert's kuees began to shake. lie
said in trembling voice: "Mr.
Speaker, | vote aye"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

Remove all the fat from loin OF
mutton. and the outside also, if too
fat; remove the skin; joint 1t at
every bone. Mix half a small nut
meg with a little pepper, salt and
bread crumbs; dip the steaks into the
yolks of three well-beatcn eggs, and
sprinkle the crum mixture all over
them. Then place them together as
they were before cut apart, tic them
aud fastcn them on small spit and
place them on plate i'll deep baking
pan. Basic well with bt tier and tho
drippings in the pan. When done
place OH hot dish; add half pint
of wafer or gravy TO that in tho pan,
Que tablespoonful of tomato katsup,
one tablespoonful of dropped capcr> /;
thicken with -four. Afler skimming
oil the fat. let it boil nj once after the
thickening is added, aud pour over
meat; serve very hot -[New York
Recorder.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
FOR TUE HOUSEWIFE.
BEErsrEAK "sPANIsm."


Beefsteak "Spanisli'' is cooked in
The following way; Broil tho steak
anul fairly well done, serve II In u
hot dish with the following saucci
Put into frying pan an ounce of but
ter, and, while il is gradually melting
cut up Glove of garlic and n small
onion aud fry slightly yellow; put in
either four peeled tomatoes or two
FpoOnfuls from can, and one-half
pod of red pepper, minced, and a lit
tic salt. Let il stew down until near
ly dry and then place in the dish. -
New York World.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

Can be counted on
to cure Catarrh DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. It's nothing new. For
% years it has been doing that very
thing. 1t gives prompt and com.
plete relief but you want more
than that. And you get it, with
this Remedy - there's a cure that
is perfect and permanent. The
worst chronic cases, no matter Of
how long standing, yield to itt
mild, soothing, cleansing and heal
ing properties. "Cold in the Head
needs but few applications. Ca.
tarrhal Headache, and all the
troubles that come from Catarrh,
are as once relieved and cureds
You can count on something else,
too-$50O in cash.
You can count on it, but it'i
more than doubtful whether yof
earn it.
The proprietors of DIR. Sag
Remedy, in good faith, offer d
amount for an incurable case
Catarrh. Don't think that 81
have one, though.
They'll pay you, if they "a Z
cure you. That's certain.
But they can cure you. IL :.
Just about as certain, too.
Can you ask more9
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
MISREPRESENTATION, Etc.


How much a man may love horse
and hate to lose him has recently
been shown in the case of an old
farmer in Illinois, who Travelled over
1000 miles of country trying to find
an old s25 plug which was stolen from
him two years ago. lie got the an
imal at last in Georgia.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

At a meeting of the Essex County
a. Jo Council, the lunatic asylum
committee reported that the super
intendentof the asylum had informed
them that the chief cause Of mnacy
there was the marriage Of cousins
and she next principal cause was
1~ipE
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

A Chinese guide to the English
language, compiled by learned
Celestial, has been published in
Pekin. The student of this quaint
little volume, however, will not make
himself easily understood in English
conversation by using such sentences
as the following: "Diligent learn OF
English wordt no difficult. To dc
good virtues become rich and know.
He himself no have got. Fear inside
have little false. Run come too
much refugee. Can do biting. Why
sou count want mistake"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
To CLEANSE the sr.ier

Effectua'ly yet gently, when costive or bill
ious, or when this blool is impure or sluggish
to permanently cure hlbitud constipati on,
to awaken the XII Ines an liver to healthy
activity, without irritating or weak enng
them, TO disrel headaches. cold or fevers, us,
Syrup of tigs.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

In Paris male domestic servants
are encouraged to marry. as they are
observed to he more settled and at
tentive to their duty than when
bachelors. In London such marriages
are discouraged, as rendering servants
more attentive to their own families
than to those of their masters
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

Browns Iron Biiters cures Dyspepsia, Mala-
ria. Biliousness and General Debility. Gives
Strength. aids Digestion, tones the nerves
creates appetite. The best Ionic for Nursing
Mothers. weak women and chill iren.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
Baltimore / Potomac Railroad

After Sunday, ,ecer5er goth, 'SS', the
t,ains on q is road will run as follows:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

The annual crop of English wal
nuts in Southern California reaches a
million and n half pounds.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

The leap-year girl might try him delicately
with a little popcorn.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03
Ix' :S7 '!'||';;!|!.;;' \
for Infants and Children.

"castoriaisso wen adapted to children that
recommend itas superiort any prescription
known to me" II. A. ARCHER, NJ. D.,
III So. oxford ST., Brooklyn, NY.
"The use OF 'Castoria Is SO universal and
its merits so we'll known that IL seems a work
of supererogation to endorse IL. Few are the
Intelligent families who do not keep Castoria
within easy reach"
CARLOS MARTIN, D. D.
New York City
Late Pastor Bloomingdale Reformed Church.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

Castoria cures Collie, Constipation,
Sour Stomach, DiarrhoHa. Eructation,
Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes di
gestion.
Without injurious medication.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

For several years have recommended
your Castoria, and shall always continue 10
do so as 1t has invariably produced beneficial
results"
EDWIN +. PARDEE. M. D.,
"The Winthrop, IS is5th Street and 9TH Ave,
New York City.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1892-06-03

THE crrAun COMPANY, n MURRAY STREET, NEW YoRK.