West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-01-28
NUMBER ID

""' ~ 10 HV boOHeI oulJOneu tnhn
he gives II hatch and bunch and
y yank and roars out:
/" BY the great horn spoon bnt
can ] never get collar TO fit me !
It's bad enough to have to wear sn
old bag OF a shirt, Let alone having
my throat cut with snch collars -
" But they were made to meas
urc, YOU know
" Measure ! Measure {! DO YOU
suppose there's shirt. maker on
earth who knows enough to meas
ure a mans neck The confou ndcd
cross eyed idiot probably thought /
wanted to button'em onto my cars
Mrs, Bowser applies the soothing
syrup and the third collar is allow
ed to reniain. lie growls over his
necktic, but gets IL on after awhile,
and is then ready to inquire:
=" suppose the girl in the kitch-
on is using my tooth brush for
poker, isn'tahc? I'd just like tho
public TO know how this house is
run It's no wonder that so many
husbands walk Oft and are never
heard OF again -
{" There's yohr tooth. brush right
in front OF your nose !" replies
Mrs. Bowser.
4" Oh it is Mighty funny
how it got there all at once ! lIair-
brush isn't down in tho coal-bin, is
it?"
!" It's right there in plain sight:
No one ever disturbs your thingsI
Mr.. Bowscr."
Z" They don't. ch Didn't no.
body get up in tho night and throw
my shoes out into the yard, sup;
pose 2"
{" or course not {"
"fhen where are they ?'' Itook
them OF right here, but they ard
gone Such system OF house
keeping People wonder that
strong men become insane, but
there is cause for it, Mrs. Bowscr
IA cause for it. sometimes" 49,
Z" You took your shoes of down
stairs last night. Your feet ached
and you sat in your stocking feet. !"
And those shoes were not de-
liberately picked up this mcrping
and carried down tIierc?"
"Of course not. Arc you teady?"
q" suppose so. II not, I'll have
to 90 as am. can't expect any
one to care whether have any
comfort or not. No wonder I'm
taken for man seventy-fve years
old !"
Three times week, after Mr.!
Bowscf is in bed, Mrs. Bowser re-
moves the buttons from his shirt,
places them in a clean one and
hangs the shirt over the back OF q
chair. The other one is taken away
to the hamper in the clothes press,
and she remarks:
"You'll find your clean shirt
righ: here when you get up"
FYcs."
Nothing comes and Mr.. Dowser
gets ont Of bed. If6 feels around
with his feet no shirt. lie paws
around under the bed no shirt.
" Now, Why on earth did that
women 90 aud take my SHIRT down
stairs?" he growls as he gets up
and goes hunting.
Byand-by he finds the cloths
press then no finds the hamper
then he fishes up the shirt aud cor.
tinues
"Ifs either got to stop, or ! leave
Talk about system Why, that
woman knows no more about house.
keeping than q bootjack There
it is again---not one single tuition
in my shirt Mrs. Bowscr ! Hello!
down there !"
" Yes-yes What the matter,
Mr. Bower "
Matter Matter /" he hoafsely
whispers, as she arrives at the top
Of the tho stairs look at me lit
this shirt :"
Mr.. Bowser, do you &c th,t
clean shirt on that chair " she
sterniy asks. " Didn'tI ~ n last
night? Isn't every button in place?
You are the queerost man ] ever
heard VI "
al am thl Queer bcca0se /
want shirt buttons in njy shirt.
Queer because can't have patience
with your lack Of system. Queer
because / put op With millior