Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-12-29
HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
sToRIEs TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd. Curious. and LauEhabis
Phases OF Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed ~ Eminent werd Artists Of
Our Own Day.

to the fast. Elmira Gazette
If man stays at home nights he
will not be found out. Plcayune.
JOHNNY, give me proverb- /" @Am-
putation is the thief OF legs.'-Harp-
er's Bazaar
TIE manager of an opera Is justi-
fed in putting on" airs.-Yonkers
Statesman,
| A GERMANTOWN man adyertises
for "a sharp boy TO cut wood
Philadelphia Record.
MANY man makes a failure OF
life by trying to get along with his
kin. -Atchison Globe.
A FRIEND of ours has named his
horse "Nail," because his wife cannot
drive im.-Roseleaf.
No MEAN man has right to wish
he had never been born. Let other
people do that for him.-Picayune.
MRS. McGLoNE says she can never
trust her husband out OF sight un-
less she is with him.-Boston Trans
cript. NsH aen tr
BAD boys are very promising young
sters just before being. laid over the
parental knee.-Glens Falls Repub-
lican.
THERE is brick famine in Chi
cago, Notwithstanding that the beer
saloons are in, full blast. Chester
News.
THE astronomers could tell more
about the comet if they could only
"get onto its curves. "-Philadelphia
Record. ,5s5s4s
WHENEVER there is a subject to be
discussed the deaf-mutes generally
have a finger in it.-Binghamton
Leader.
THERE are not few ciphers in so-
ciety who think themselves good
enough figures for the german. Dos
ton Transcript.
as Miss HINoTE a good singer"
, "She must be. Every other girl in
, the choir seems to dislike her. -
Washington Star.
Il FIND it is always best to keep
COOL" said the snow. Exactly" re-
: piled the sidewalk, II catch your
drift. Washington Star.
"A MAN cannot be expected to
: stand in his own light, said the gas
company stakeholder who burned
candles. Washington Star.
5 AUTHok-Why won't you purchase
my play? There's money in it. Man
: ager-Ah! but | should want to get
money out of it.--Pick-Me- Up.
WHAT do you do here?" asked a
visitor to the dime museum dwarf.
Il amuse the public in small way"
replied the little man. Detroit Free
Press.
Il UNDERSTAND that all you bagged
on your hunting trip was pair OF
trousers" "Well, they were duck
trousers, anyway" = indianapolis
Journal.
HUSBAND Ito wife from BOSTON,
"You never find any blue stockings in
the Prince of Wales set" Wife
(strong- minded) -"No, blue is not a
fast color. Life.
THE big beer syndicate has hardly
been formed with view to raising
the price. Beer will continue going
down no matter what happens. =
e Philadelphia Times. H4
n PERTHsHIRE MISSIONARY Ito poor
t and motherless boy)-"But why is
/ your father not steady?p Boy rehect-
l. ively)-"'Cause he's got wudden
e leg. Dundee Courier.
;, WIFE Ito her husband)--I say, my
u dear, how badly the tailor has put
" this button on your waistcoat! This
: is the fifth time have had to sew it
L | Kala
- PRESBYTERIAN, are you, Effie?"
:, said the elderly relative. united
! Presbyterian. @N-not yet, auntie,
: whispered the blushint sEfiie, @but
- I'm engaged. Chicago Tribune.
! Nor IN Boston. -"She's fine
girl. No flummery. A straight up
and-down philanthropist" "But /
don't like these straight up-and-down
girls. They're bad form. Puck.
A SWEET little 4-year-old added
y this clause to her evening petition
II the other night: "And please help
Is grandma not to talk so much when
, the pies get burned. boston Trav-
10 eller.
r "BRoTHER,p says a Georgia editor,
lie "don't stop your paper just because
you don't agree with the editor. The
last cabbage you sent us didn't. agree
with us either, but wo didn't drop
you from our subscription list on that
account. New York Tribune. 90
Nor good subjects: First boy Tin
art gallery All these historical
pictures is about foreign countries.
Why don't the artists paint pictures
OF American history Second boy
1 guess it's cause Americans always
KEEP thur clothes on. Good News.
RELIABLE DATA. say, Anna, my
husband came home very late last
night; can you tell me what time it
WASP" "Please, ma'am, l don't know
exactly; but when got up this morn
ing masters top-coat was still swing
ing backward and forward on the
peg. La Cironde.
Il ---@=--
"a Bits of Lore.