The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-08-10
THE HUMAN COMEDY
AS THE STREET CAR CONDUCTOR
SEES IT ACTED.
Regular Riders and Others-A Simple
Rule for Discovering EiJher-Their


Regular Riders and Others-A Simple
Rule for Discovering Ei5her-Their
Ways.
From the fniiGdelphi6 Ledger.
II some courageous street car conductor
should one day decide TO write his memoirs
if the literary world should be convulsed
one day by the appearance OF a portentous
volume, 1.-THE "reminiscences of a Car Con-
ductor," it might be hailed as q posthumous
novel of Balzac's or Dickens for the truth
full delineations of character it contained.
That genteel style of writing, of which
the works Of Lord Shaftesbury and Sir
William Temple were popularity supposed to
be models, might be missing in this book of
recolections and obser vations, but it would
have the value of giving a series OF por-
traits of characters which would be in
stantly recognized by every street car rider,
and how comparatively few are there in the
city who are not street car riders. All sorts
and conditions of men ride, and the number
Is increasing every year.
THE PULPIT OF A PHILOSOPHER.
As ne stands on the back platform gaz-
ing into the car, the conductor has remark
able opportunity for studying mankind,
and. as a rule, he does observe all the human
nature that rides on his car. He becomes
philosophical aud sees all the meanness and
all the goodness of man, for both traits
come out prominently in the street car :,
where all the selflshuess OF the race appears
to make itself evident, no matter how much
trouble is taken to conceal it.
History records many instances OF work
ing men becoming identified with ltera-
ture. Shoemakers, BARRIERS and black
smiths have had their names enshrined in
half calf, and their works now rest In soli-
tude and dust along with the great has
beens. II they are never taken down and
consulted it is not because they bave lost
any Of their reverential aspect but because
they are OF another day, and because they
belong to class which the heartless hedg-
l1ngs ruthlessly denominate as lumber. To
this select coterie the street car conductor
may, perhaps, one day be added, and his
unobtrusve 8vo., "Recollections, With q
Portrait" go down to posterity.
TWO CLASSES OF CONDUCTORS.
OF the conductors themselves it may be
said that, like other people, they may be
generally divided into two classes. the surly,
dyspeptic conductor, who has not a word
to throw at a dog, and the pleasant con-
ductor-the man who will wait until a
woman kisses her friend good-by before
getting off, the man who lifts the youngsters
on aud off the car, who is sociable and who
keeps his temper under all Circumstances.
A Ledger reporter had the good fortune to
travel downtown with a conductor of the
latter class, few evenings ago, and, after
the weather had been exhausted as topic
of conversation-and it Is an excellent Ice
breaker-the conductor began to describe
some of the passengers he encounters as the
Il tha
dasher. The conductor started it. De re-
marked:
''If any one wants to study people he
wants to ride behind car all day. You
see every kind of human nature sittin' in
the seats or standin on car. Some OF 'em
don't give a bit Of trouble, an then there's
the hogs that ride; they seem to think the
conductor has no feelin's and that he is
either goin' to beat them or the company
Altogether. the conductors life is not a
happy one" >,
suggested the reporter.
"Worse,n continued the other. "Why,
talk about beatin', have passengers every
day who try to beat me; but when Teller
runs car as long as have he's fly enough
to give as good as he gets. l don't know
whether you know how the people try to dc
the conductors, but if you don't I'll tell
you"
The reporter was uuinitiated 80 the con-
ductor explained.
STREET CAR BEATS.
"Its this way: These beats, an you see
every species Of them on car, have two
or three little games. One of them is to
hand you a quarter, when you have
been collecting several fares, ana
when you hand the change TO
declare they have given you half
10, 81,
ness of course he's moro or less ratified, and
the scheme works in great shape, aud when
the poor teller turns his cash in at the end
of the trip he finds he's out & quarter.
while that's the most common method
OF beating, not 90 mention the people who
try to skin conductor by showing counter
felt money, Canadian dimes, 20-cent
pieces for quarters and mutilated coin,
another mucn practiced scheme is to have a
note OF a large denomination, which Teller
can't change. l had Teller we'll dressed
he was. too, who got on one morning and
handed me S. bill. OF course l couldn't
take scents out of it, 80 be owed it 60 me- ,
Well l thought that was all right. for once
or twice / did the same thing for a reg
ular rider, and he made it all right. How
ever about two mornings later this Teller
got on and had that same IS note. Again |
couldn't change it. Well, do you know
that Teller run up seven fares on me in that
way and deter mined to be ready for him.
Sure enough. on my first trip one morning
he got on.
"There was that SIS note again.
81 s'pose you can't change it he said.
eyes. can replied, and with that l
proceeded to give him a fistful of quarters,
dimes, nickels and few pennies. When he
got them in his hand, he said he had Just
found nickel in his pocket. So gave him
back his note. and he always gives my car
the go by now"
Seeing the reporter was interested, the
conductor proceeded. after a woman pas
senger had alighted:
PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME.
THAT woman reminds me of a tale l
heard an old Teller at the deepo. who used
to run car in Washington, tell He was
driver and conductor OF the car, and a
woman used to get on every day and pre-
sent a $50 rbill 20 have her fare taken
cut. Imagine a conductor with $50 all at
one time He couldn't change it, as you
may guess, and the womad apparently
thought he never could, for she worked
that same note on him for long time and
rode free as a consequence.
HE determined to become square with
her, so he prepared himself with fifty dol
la RAJ ,VOrth of those va and ton capt notaa