Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-10-27
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to-
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LaUghabIe.
Tea-Table Salad.

THE house fly is among the autumn
leaves. Philadelphia Times.
THE sculptor fishes for fame when
he makes cast. -Yonkers Gazette.
A CAMPAIGN lie may be nailed, but
caucuses are bolted S0merville jour
nal
OF course young woman expects
to be killing when she puts on a kilt.
Fun.
IT doesn't take much of a hunter
to bag his trousers. -Glcns Falls Re
publican.
A WHISKY STRAIGHT" is decided to
be an unmixed evil. --Binghamton
Republican.
"AYEsHA" is the title Of a good
poem, though it sounds like sneeze-
-Picayune.
A MAN who shutters conveys his
thoughts by limited express. Wash
ington Star.
FANNY is beautiful name for
a wife who delights to raise breeze.
Galveston News
MYSTERY always has delicious
charm unless man is Jealous
Somerville Journal.
THE humorists of this country
seem to have made a butt of the
goat.-Philadelphia Record.
SUCH a thing as strike by waiter
girls was unknown until they put on
suspenders.- Chicago Tribune.
No WONDER the music of the hand
organ is sharp-think how thorough
ly it is ground. -Elmira Gazette.
THERE couldn't be more appro-
pirate insignia for prize-fighter
than a belt. Philadelphia Times.
MANY man thinks he can read q
woman like book until he tries ia
shut her up.-Philadelphia Times.
OF course it is only natural that
the engaging girl should be the tirst
to be engaged. -Someryille Journal
A POET compares love to a river
Because people are all the time fail
ing it, we suppose. Yonkers States
man.
"D1D you know his business had
run DOWN." Il suppose SO. / heard
he was going to wind it up."-Nast's
Weekly.
THE alligator gets very little credit
in this cold, unfceling world. Every
body calls him hard ase.-LoWeT
Courier
IF every love affair ended in mar
riage there is not a man in the world
who would not be a Mormon. --Atchi-
son Globe.
WATCHER are made in heaven, but
love is made right out On the summer
hotel piazza every night. = onkers
Statesman.
THE man who can't cut long story
short generally has the same trouble
with his store account. bling
Republican.
IN the spring q woman Shoes the.
hens out of the garden, and in tie
fall man shoes the boys. Bingham
ton Republican.
A MAN who gets choleric over his.
collar-button has not necessarily got
any comma-shaped bacilli about him
Boston Transcript.
WE can't save much by employing
electricity to do our work because OF
the consequent increase in current
expense Elmira Gazette.
A SUFFERER from a severe cough
says that his complaint has one Of
the modern improvements pneu-
matte tire.-LOwell Courier.
THERE are lots of men who will
consider that you are treating them
warmly enough if you buy them hot
Scotches. -Binghamton Leader.
THOUGH a man fancies that his wit
is like cutlery, he makes a mistake if
he undertakes to sharpen it by con-
slant grinding. Washington Star
IT was really the sailor on watch
who discovered America Then he
called LAND ho.." and gave Columbus
a chance to discover io.-Picayunc.
WE wish we were as popular as
the woman is with the children when
she gets down the cake and takes a
knife in her hand. "A tchson Globe
LOUISVILLE has girl preacher
aged IA, whose professional card
bears the legend, Sunday meetings,
for men only. Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
CHAWLEY CHUMPLEIGH says he
has made up whole lot of conum-
drums that would be gweat if he
could only think Of answers to them.
-Elmira Gazette.
RIvERs-The cholera bacillus, it
seems, is shaped like a comma. Banks
Then why don't the authorities
knock it's tail off and bring it to
full stop?-Chicago Tribune.
A SOUVENIR postage stamp for the
Worlds Fair is among the probable
ties. Whether a premium is to be
stuck on it, like the souvenir hat
dollars. is not yet determined. Phil
adafnhia Ledger.