davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
"a LITTLE NONSENSE.

A Hopeless Case. -He-sWhat way
shall we 60 homer" She-'srhe short
est" Then he gave up all hope.
Small girl latter eating . pepper
mint drop)-"Whew-eel don't 1t make
your mouth windy ?"-Kate Fields
Washington.
--.Oh, know all about babies. said
Harlow to the young mother who was
afraid he would let her little one fall;
~ was one myself once"
Its unaccountable." he said, as he
stood on the scales, after walk on the
beach. ''I'ye gained five pounds in one
hour "Haye you emptied the sand
out Of your shoesY' she asked. Harp.
er's Bazaar.
Waiter Guests usually remember
the waiter here, sir" Uncle Si-.Do
they?, Wa'al, I'll take q good look at
ye. You amt got no marks, but I
guess I'll know ye again whom see
yen. Y. Press
AN Added Zest why do you not
eat your apple. Tommy I'm waitin'
till Johnny Briggs comes along. Apples
tastes lots better when there's some
other kid to watch you eat 'em. lin
dianapolis Journal.
Legitimate BlachmaiL -ssWell, do
you think that your father will forgive
You for running away and will receive
your husbands oh, he'll have To-
Jack knows SO much about papa, you
know. Brooklyn Life.
Feeling Around Mother-"When
do you suppose that young man that
calls ON you will make known his in
tentions, Laura?'' Laura--s.I think he
will propose pretty soon Last even
ing he was very anxious to know
whether could dress on forty dollars
year. - fs
Barber Ito Irish customer)
''Graciousi How unanimously your
hair has adjournedl Better try some
Of my tonic; II wiz bring the hair all
out again. There's
shmall sinse in repatin' tho operation,
sorl It's ont slridy, an let l. shtay
out, Boston Journal.
-Rhubarb Pie. ~ Physician -- did
your husband take the rhubarb a
prescribed?' Mrs. Flsnagan--"Yes,
sor, but the poor mon like to have died
bekase of It." Physician Why, I'm
surprised. How much did he take 81 3
dose?" MRS Flanagan-"A whole poy,
sor pharmaceutical Era
"A Good Keepsake. Mr.. Noodle
Give me, dearest ere you 60. some
thing that I can wear next nay heart
10 remember you BY. Z Miss Emelins az
.All right mother has brought como
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
p,IuJ.RPosE.

~ vent far out on the shining lake.
j, Auas from the sunset sky,
Were the light through the darkeninf clio Il
would break,
nv little boat and L
-1fssed to the farther pebbly shore,
NV face to the sinking sun,
The clouds followed close when be shone NO
more,
Ard said: The day Is done"
Thcn light wind came from over tho land
n n sgTT Us toward the SKY,
Wlerel lay the clouds with golden band,
Mylitte boat and !.
The oars lay idle, / drffted on,
unheeaing where went;
u a page in a book my thoughts were gone,
siy boat, where the breezes sent.
We passed through clump Of rushes tall
And my thoughts came back to note
How quickly our course was changed, and all
By reed at the bow Of the boat.
Isaid to my boat: III strong the force
That sends you drifting along,
thdng SO slight could not change your course
And make the whole way wrong.
aBut II you cannot safely float
In t0sonf port alone. - -
=Tfen must guide you, little boat,
And bring you safely home.ts
So we drift no moro In the crimson Light,
with face to the sunset sky,
But know that our course Is true and right,
My boat, my heart and I.
Evelyn Noble, in Detroit Free Press.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
THE "HoNEsT MONEY" PARTY.
Fraudulent Methods OF the MinIons Of
Monopoly.

Fraudulent Methods OF tho Minlons Of
Monopoly.
There is but one possible definition
of an honest dollar''-as the republic
ans employ that term. 1t is dollar
that would be worth just as much un-
stamped as though the government had
stamped it. 1t is a dollar dntrinsically
worth its weight in gold, stamped or
unstamped. .s.r
The gold dollar is, according to this
definit on, an honest dollar on its
merits. because 25s grains IN bar are
worth 25s grains in coin. Its an honest
dollar because 258 grains with the gov
eminent stamp are worth no more than
25s grains without the stamp.
If this is true of gold dollar, why
can it rot be made true of a silver dol
lar? Silver as commodity on its COM
mercial merits has f1uctuated no mora
for the past fifty years than has gold.
If there is any difference in relative
fiuctuatioD, the balance is certainly in
favor of silver. ~ ..es6
If a man takes five gold dollars TO the
mint for recoinage, he gets five dollars
back. If he takes five silver dollars to
the mint for recoinage, he only gets
four back. The recoinage Of the FIVE
silver dollars has cost one dollar, be-
cause twenty cents on each dollar are
not intrinsic, but are, in the language
of Mckinley, "the mere breath of con-
gress. .
1t is as plain as your hand before
your eyes. then, that the republican
party is engaged in the business Of
coming fraudulent dollars under its
own definition of an honest dollar. In
vulgar phrase it is a Skin" dollar pure
and simple.
This crime has been known for CEN
turtles in the world as debasing coin.
Tyrants in the last shifts of desperation
have done it just as the republicans arc
doing it now. They are coming annu-
ally s54. 600. 600 worth Of silver dollars,
each containing only so cents, worth of
silver. The fact is patent that the sec
rotary of the treasury is paying 9s cent?
for $50 grains of silver and only putting
37fH grains into the dollar that he
coins and passes off on the people.
This is an interesting party to be
talking about honest money" The
big flag that floats over Washington
street. proclaiming ''honest money as
the watchword of the party in this
state, fiaunts a big lie every time it
shows its skirts to the passer-by.-
BOSTON Globe
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
A NEW HORSE TEST.

Yawnlng as a Sign Of Equine Ah..,.-
bility.
There are different methods OF judg-
ing Of the temper of horses, but one of
the most unique was that used by ai
old lady who was fond of buying thei.i
and who was withal of eccentric turn
of mind. 1t was one of the old lady's
peculiarities that she did not like to
come downstairs, and for months to-
sgetffeY9 She was in the habit of living
entirely upon the second floor Of q
large ofd-fashioned country house
Where she dwelt. AS horses could mol
well be brought to the second story,
and as she would insist in going on
with her purchases, her. custom was to
have the animals paraded up and down
in the garden walks under her window,
a proceeding which so damaged the
walks that the gardener was in q con-
slant state of fury. 1t was difficult to
see just how much the old lady could
tell from her observations from aloft,
and the poor bargains which she mads
proved that her method, whatever it
was, was not to be depended upon.
Once when she had bought horse so
vicious that it kicked its stall to pieces
and nearly murdered its groom, her
niece had the boldness to demonstrate.
"Aunt Sarah," she said, 'you can't
tell by just looking out of the window
if horse is vicious. and it isn't safe to
go on in this way"
You let me attend to my own bust
ness" the old lady replied with much
asperity. That horse was all right
The groom must have done something
to make him wild / know that the
horse was gentle for.I saw him yawn
before l bought him. and it stands to
reason that a vicious horse would not
yawn. Boston Courier.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
A Touching Incident of His Busy Life n
the White Houae.

ATouching Incident of His Busy Life at
the white House..
From his humble home in the west,
he brought into public life his notions
OF plain, frugal living, and to the day
Of his death adhered to the strictly.
The discouraged steward complained
bitterly of his utter lack OF apprecia-
ton of his finest work, and never quite
forgave him for saying to Mr.. Lovejoy,
who was dining with him one day,
None of this fiummery goes to the
tired spot And once he was heard to
say to his wife: II do wonder why we
do not get such good meat and potatoes
in Washington as we used to have in
Illinois! Do You know, Mary?"
During the latter years OF his life, he
ate so little and so irregularly that
often ncontime found his breakfast, I'M
tasted, and Secretary Stanton one day
remarked: Mr. Lincoln, whose din
ner is this, l wonder, covered up so
nicely. 1t will be cold very sooni''
Dinner? Why that's my breakfast!
What time is ii, Stanton? do. feel
kind of emptyln
Through the influence OF Hon. Owen
Lovejoy, Miss Alice tombstone, of Chi
cago, was appointed to desk in the
post Office. During her first winter in
Washington she slipped on an icy pave
ment and for three months was con-
fined to her room. Ill and discouraged,
-she determined to return to the west
and give up her Office. Mr. Lovejoy
spoke to Mr.. Lincoln of her sad condi-
ton, and said in his great-hearted way:
IF l hadn't five girls of my own I'd
adopt Alicel My wife always has room
for one more at home"
.'See here, Lovejoy, we need just such
grill I'll speak to Mary at once"
So, ito make a long story short /"
Alice became a member of the presi-
dents family. Her capabilities we're
quickly discovered by all; her work ad-
mired and commented ON by guests and
servants. She proved perfect COM
fort" to the lonely, sorrowful man,
weighed down with the nations fate, !"
and to the busy woman. in the whirl Of
fashionable life, "a constant treasure"
Tad remarked to his father one day:
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
Personal AND iMPERsotsAl.

Henry Willard, the famous railroad
man, began life - : reporter, but -
he did not happen 70 be favorite with
the city editors he was compelled e
throw up his Job and become = millions
airs
As dancer the kaiscr h NOT : suc-
ccsA He Is stir and nnbcnding ~ =
rnmrod. He whirls With great RAPID
tty, and every body on the hoor gets s1es
Of his way--not % much from rcApece
for ruyaity - 70 prevent broken hhtna
and torn costumes
There Is 1 thrifty farmer II the
west who pays twenty Ave cents day
less 10 those Of his hands who work y
the field nearest to the railroads This
he does because they stop whenever
the trains 20 By, and 20 lose onc-sixth
Of their working time
The oil excitement u Mcdonald,
Pa, has poured wealth into the laps
Of several poor people. Tho luclxiest
&c far heard from 6 Mira SBertie No
Callum, who from small piece Of land
n tozseif tor SD hAA:
already received SIS. 900 In rentals
The Corean minister at Washing.
ton and his wife are often unique feat
ures Of the theaters, which II i their
delight to attend They have box,
and when the curtain rises they bring
their chairs close to the railing, and.
with elbows on knees, lean forward
and watch the play with unmistakable
delight painted on their faces
Mrs Grover Cleveland Is very
cautious letter-writer, never using {
sheet Of paper when the reply can be
written on visiting card The IDEAS
OF Mr.. Pendennis and the ex-president
are alike regarding letters, and his
charming wife submits the correspond
ence Of the day TO him. with the sweet
privilege Of sealing or destroying It
"A timid man. living alone in the
outskirts OF Hartford, has hit upon .
novel device for soaring away burglars
Each night upon retiring he places q
huge pair Of boots outside Of every
bedroom door in the house to convey
the impression that every chamber ID
occupied by an able-bodied man. a
burglar who happened In would think
he had struck . hotel.
Fifteen keen and courageous Corr
sicians form the cars body-guard.
They accompany the car aImostevery-
where. sometimes in uniform; and have
even to keep watch in. the imperial
kitchen and occasionally act rs cooks.
Three Of them can never be convinced.
that the wine has not been drugged.
and they insist upon Tasting" fresh
| bottles three or -four. times day.
An American wBihan returning per.
manently to her native home after .
long residence in Japan says that her
chief sorrow in leaving the Mikado's
land was due to the fact that she had
to give up her collection OF teapots Il
had over Ave hundred Of them, she
walls, every one gem, and It took
me days Of thought and choosing To-
select the fifty / permitted myself to
bring home with me-"
| "A Hannibal, Mo-, man bought two
pills and put them in his vest pocket.
He also bought small pearl button
and put 1t In the same pocket When
it came time to take pill he opened
his mouth, shut his eyes and gulped
one down. He was relieved of his
headache and went Of his way rejoic-
ing. Afterward, having use for the
collar button. he felt inNhis pncket and
found two pills but no button
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
4 TREAcHERous DOCUMENT


More pesbls- Dssling ~ Jim the PoIitf.
Esss cal Trickster.
Mr.. Blaine has temporarily recov-
cred his health sufficiently to write .
letter stabbing in the back the author
Of the protection-run mad Mr.. Blaine
has not added to his letter the request
Burn this On the contrary, it is
given to the press rs freely as II its
author had no fear Of an investigating
comnittee. Note the cunning with
which the Maine statesman inficts his
stab He AYERS that the following
sentence is ssgarbled:" "But there is
not assertion or line in the Mckinley
bill that will open a market for an
rel Of pork And he says that the fol-
lowing is what he did write: But
there is not section or line in the
entire bill that will open market for
another bushel of wheat or another
pound of pork. OF course careful
letter-writer like Mr.. Blaine will dis
cover that in the two above quotations
thcrSfs hut ono Discrepancy and TINT
It refers to the title Of the bill. In the
one case II was unnecessary for the til
tie OF tho bill TO be named and IN the
other 1t was On this hangs MT.
Biaine's plea that his words have been
garbled And he must be granted full
credit for his observance OF the facts
Mr.. blaine has not hit so near the
truth before IN half century.
But what does this letter really
mean? II is perfectly understood that
Mr.. Mckinley was as strongly opposed
to thd reciprocity clause as was Mr..
Blaine to the Interpretation idea OF
Mckinley and Tom Reed It is too
late to argue away the effect OF the
scene when=Mr,= Blaine spoiled Q new
hat in giving vent to his anger at Nc
Kinley and his whole tribe. He now
says that he is in favor OF the McKin-
ley bill since it contains the patent rec
iprocity provision. He shows that
the only way in which he can see that
an additional market has been secured
has been by provisions that are direct
" In -contraventien to the Mckinley
idea AID that were foisted on the bill
against McKinley's protest.
Mr.. Blaine says; Il am not, there
fore. an opponent OF the Mckinley
bill, as the democratic papers of Ohio
are constantly alleging. On the con-
trary, ! have constantly supported it
ever since it was perfected by the. in
sertion. of the reciprocity clause" Mr..
Mckinley is welcome to the good effect
he may receive from such an indorse-
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
SAUL AmoNa The Pa'15HEIs.


The Free Trade IDEA fakes = uall or
tho President
If member Of the cabinet mot
named) is correctly reported tbs presi.
dent may surprise the country and lis
gust the McKinleys Of his party by ap-
pcaring in the character Of q tariff re-
former next December. According to
the report this anonymous member 81
the cabinet would not be surprised II
the president were TO reccmmx nd .
material reduction Of the tarih taxed
on certain imports IL order that rcst
procity treaties Of range much great
err than is now warranted BY the rcti-
procity clause Of the Mckinley bin
may be made.
The cabinet officer does not say to
what tariff taxes he refers. but he gives
hint upon which we may base guess
when he says: 1.-THE markets Of the old
world are far more precious TO MS than
the markets Of South America The
latter in time will rank with II not sur
pass those Of the eastern hemisphere,
but that future h tee =fRr=aBayEEhe
present is what concerns us- This is a
business administration, and to pro-
mote the business of the country Is our
most earnest desire. You have seen
the impetus resulting from Gcrmany's
action in regard to our pork. Let me
tell you that the benefits coming from
that are but drop in the bucket COM
pared with the benefits that will result
from treaties which we hope to make. :"
So we are told plainly enough that
Mr. Harrison is going to advocate
reciprocity with Europe; in other
words, that he is going to try to steal
the platform upon which Mr.. Cleveland
placed himself long time ago. That
is enough to cause both Mckinley and
Blaine to fall In dcnd swoon.I r. Is
enough to cause an expression of blank
amazement to overspread every coun-
tcnance from the northeast corner Of
Maine to the southwest corner of Cali
fornia.
Why, Mr.. Harrison is the man who
told the people during the period Of his
candidacy in 1883 that the tariff was a
tax on foreigners; and now he proposes
to take the tax off from foreigners and
put it on Americans He is the man
who swung around the circle last
spring. telling the farmers that the
ideal condition was one in which
they would sell all their produce to
consumers from their farm wagons,
and neither buy nor sell abroad. And
now he proposes to make ], treaties
under which they will not only sell
more abroad but buy more abroad,
yea, even in Europe. What. then, will
become of the home market? What
will become of the American wage
scale?" What has happened to Harri.
son? There has been no such miracu-
lous conversion since the memorable
case of Saul of Tarsus. The dazzling
light emitted at the polls last Novem-
Der seems to have penetrated to the
presidential retina -Chicage Herald.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
CONDITION OF THE TREASURY.
Effects of the McKinley Bill on the
Nations Finances.

Effects Of the McKiniey Bill on the
Nations Finances.
The effort of the secretary of the
treasury to make the governments in
come appear to equal and surpass its
outgo is very palpable. By holding
back appropriations and by putting
every obstacle in the way of the pay
ment of the just claims of the creditors
of the government Mr.. Foster has
made it appear that his receipts for
September exceeded his expenditures
by $40. 1872, 963. But this merely shows
to all who recall the extravaganza of
the billion-dollar congress that he is
not paying the current demands on the
treasury. 49, = -
A sum amo uniting to between s40,-
600, 900 and $4,000, 900 due during the
first quarter of the fiscal year has been
withheld in order to make the govern
ment's books balance. In other words,
the expenditures were really about
sl20, 600, 600, while the receipts were
actually 500, 097, 7S0 "a deficiency for
the quarter of about 10000, 900, indi-
eating deficiency for the year OF
1920, 000, 900.
The prediction made by the World
more than year ago Is, receiving sim
gular verification. On July %, 1890,
the World predicted deficiency of
SS4, 900, 600, assuming the correctness
of the estimate of the friends of the
Mckinley bill, who stated that that
measure would reduce the revenues
$50, 100000 The present Indication is
that the reduction will reach s85,000,-
600, and the difference, s35, 1000, 900,
added to the Ss4. 900, 900 would make a
deficiency of Sis, 900, 00o IN. Y. World
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07

A lobster when left high and dry
among the rocks has not sense and en-
ergy enough to work his way back to
the sea but waits for the sea to come
to him. If it does not come he remains
where he is and dies, although the slight
est exertion would enable him to reach
the waves, which are perhaps tossing
and tumbling within yard Of him.
There is tide in human affairs that
casts men into eight places" and
leaves them there like stranded lob
sters. If they choose to lie where
the breakers have flung them, ex-
pecting some grand billow to
take them on its big shoulder
and carry them back to smooth water,
the chances are that their hopes may
never be realized. Nor H. y right they
should be-, The social element ought
mot to be expected to help him who
makes no effort TO help himself. IN. Z.
Ledger.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
"a Majority

According to recent decision of the
French council of state, a unanimous
vote may be cast in favor oil csndi-
date at an election, and the candidate
may yet fail Of receiving majority.
and of being elected. Recently. in the
town of Montlercon. France, In an cleo
tion for a small local Office. only one
voter presented himself to cast his bal
lot. He voted a u Monsieur Bagneux
for the office; and Monsieur Bagneux,
having received all the votes cast was
declared elected But the matter was
carried before the council of state.
which promptly annulled the election.
declaring that . majority Of votes
cast was necessary to elect and that
as 20 majority" means tho greater
numi err" there could only be majority
where there were more than one. IT.
is presumable. from this decision, that
II two votes had been CASTOR Monsieur
Bagneux, these two votes would have
been held to constitute q ma jority;
just as two sheep have been said to
constitute flock OF Sheep and two
calves "herd Of cattle. - Youth's
Companion
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
HE TOLD THEIR FORTUNES.
Then Had to Hurry Home to Fry the Pc
tatoea.

tHBOe8.
.Ohl see the birds-our fortunes for
five cents"
Lets try" -
One brighteyed miss, with a school
bag under her arm, looked longingly at
her companions.
But none of 'em had five cents
81 don't care" pinned one, "Tm going
t, be a rich mans wife anyway. I'll
I ie trying"
I'D rather run candy shop"
''I'll be lady of society. hate
ASKING dishes and scrubbing-alw
G d."
Here. girls" said the ole. man, COM
Cup and smiling as he caught a
S atch Of their idle clatter. Tets try.
II i've girls, five fortunes"
He gave the Italian q quarter. In
great glee the little tots received the
planet of their lives.
'srsuppose," chuckled tho old man,
as they scampered away, zones a
d chess sure, ones lords wife, and
% is to be Mrs. Lady Deuceace.
\ ,at's what my wife thought until she
married me. Guess I'll go home now
and get supper for the family. Wtfe's
out shopping. as usual. IN. Y. World
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1892-01-07
LINcoLN's FAvoRlTE DISH.

He-Will you tell her, please, I would
like to see her-alone. -Brooklyn Life.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1892-09-29
Forty-four Million Devils,


Gailelmus Parisiensis gives figures ION
a basis Of exact computation" as he in
forms us, TO prove that the regions of
the air" and the "caverns and dark places
of the earth" are inhabited by "A, 435, 55G
devilsl Had you calculated on there being
that many? According to these remark
able figures, if the people of the United
States had all been wiped out of earthly
existence on the hst of January, 1875, each
could have consistently been met at the
portals Of the beyond by big grinning
devil, and TIE few thousand imps in ex-
cess of our population could have tended
the caldrons of the inferno while the older
ones Were receiving the newcomers.
But John Wier, widely known as the
devils physician" a medical practitioner
OF Cleves Rhenish Prussia, begged
leave" to differ from Parisiensis TO the
tune of some 100000 in the total number
of devils, imps and satanic attendants.
John exerted himself to the utmost to out
do Parisiensis on "a basis of exact compu-
tation," but to save his life and his soul
from the torture Of the millions of devils
he had discovered he could only locate one
chief devil, seventy-two princes of devils
and 7,405, 9l6 devils held as subjects by the
satanic princes. The chief devil that old
serpent" 'the prince Of the powers Of the
air and of Darkness" Lucifer, the devil
par excellence, is described as a great red
dragon with seven heads, ten horns and
scaiy, spiked tail.
Where learned men, physicians and au-
thors capable Of writing books Of hun
dreds of pages managed to get figures for
such exact computations" is a mystery to
the modern investigator.-St. Louis Re.
M, blip