The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-04-08

BON into dis world de staff of Ohio would
hev got along Jist de same. She wants yo'r
punkin pies an yo'r fried cakes but she
wouldn't bust up if she didn't git 'eu. It
will of Co'se. be known dat yo' am a mem
Der Of dis Limekiln club. and aldermen.
judges an chen de guv'nor Will stop TO
shake hands wild yo'. Doan' let yo'self git
swelled up wild pride. Be jest proud huff
to go right on tendin to bizness, but not
proud huff to bust to pieces like biler
carryin too much steam"
Yes, sab" answered Shindig.
"Doan' land in Columbus wild any per-
ticker motto on yo'r banner. Excelsior
is VERY good motto, but it seldom pans
out snythin which de owner feels proud Of
Notices war all right two hundred vars
ago, when land was cheap an yo' could
vote as often as yo' wanted TO on 'leckshun
day, but times hev changed. In old times
honesty was de best policy. but in desc
days de man who buys boss am supposed
TO locate all de spavins fur hisself If yo'
ind dat yo' can mix a leetle squash wild
yo'r pumpkin an thus save expense an
please de people jest as well, yo' will
p'obably do so Of yo'r own accord"
Yes, sab"
Il doan' know how yo' stand on de ques-
shun of chickens, Brudder Watkins, but
in gwine into a new community / reckon
yo had better 20 slow Dat is, doan' let
yo'r hankerin fur chickens git de better
of yo'r discreshun- Let bacon an Goldfish
satisfy yo' until yo' hev looked around. Yo'
are doubtless aware of de fact dat de tor
pedo chicken am an Ohio invenshun, an
dat ober 5o.000 of 'em am in use in dat
staff. In some cases whsr de torpedo
chicken am in use yo' will find a red chalk
mark on de hencoop doah; in odders yo'
take long chances. Make ~ -ided move
till yo' hev bin in Columbus fur at least
q month"
Il doan' keer fur chicken t all. sah," re-
piled Shindig
Den it's all de better fur yo', Brudder
Watkins, an jist as well fur de chickens.
Now, about de society in Columbus How
DO yo' propose TO start outs"
My wife will gin a soiree soon arter We
git dar. sab"
Oats krect. Yo' will find three sorts
o. Guild foIkses in cherry town. De fust
strata am de walters an BARRIERS, de second
de whitewRshers an stove blsckeTs, de
third de common niggers who job around
by de day. Invite only de fust strata to
yo'r soiree. Yo' must hev ice cream.
'lssses candy an st least one kind O cake.
Paper napkins VIII do but yO' must not
pass water around in a tin dipper. II
yo' haven't got tumblers huff den use
couple of yaller bowls As de host yo'
VIII be 'spected 70 war white gloves q
red necktie an new paper collah- L dar
am no bell on yo'r doah den hire one fur
de occashUn- No soiree was eber a Sue
cess widout a doah bell If 20 hev ice
cream 'nuf fur two dishes all around yo'
will az once establish yo'rself in de fuss
strata Now, about yo'r inanshul stand
in Was 20 gwine 70 tell eberybody down
dar dat 20 was in de pumpkin pie an
fried cake bizneSs simply to occupy yo'r
thoughts while wzjtin' TO invest SIS, 900
sumwbareg
No, sab" said Shindig. y shan't dun
no brsggin t all
Oats right Yo' needn't tell cherry
body dat yo' only had twenty-seven dollars
left after reachinte town. an 20 needn't
carry de ideah dat il makes 20 tired to
cut of yo'r coupons Take a sort o. mid
die course. Pay cash fur what yo' buy,
an If de report spreads around dat yo' am
a millionaire, don't admit or deny il. Yo
VIII attend church, OF co'set"
Yes, sab"
III am not mistooken you was a Baptist.
Dat religun am all right but doan' De in
hurry. De Methodist religun an also al
right. II de Methodist church down Oar
has steeple an bell IN il, an de Baptist
church has neither. 1t would be policy fur
yo' TO jine IL Wild de former. l Is sorry TO
say dat in desc degenerate DAYS we judge
a mans religion mo- by de outside Looks o!
de meetin house dan how Re acts ir'sice %
II OATS a f.o11r all Rrf1fiTa- Wat kiuS an
yO' EsD f>af ----- D H. - r-~yf1e AVA
from Ills club. OF which yo' hev bin a nen
Der almost from lie organizashun, 20
leave only friends behind We shall want
- 4 az from yo' often, an we shall hope 80