The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-01-13
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

4
You'll like the wife as much as you Ink,
him. Mrs. Jonesley-Well, ma a'am,
'ope so, I'm sure but we generally
finds that when the gents hafable, tn.
lady's 'aughty.
Motherhood gracious Is thaf
Maria at the piano? Tommy-Yes
sum. Mother-Well, 90 ask her whai
she is doing If she is practicIng sh,
may keep on till her hour is up, but i
she Is playing, tell her to stop.
Speeches To BE Lived Down: Mis-:
Gushley-Y You positively shall not e
home in such a rain, Mr.. Thumper.
insist on your staying to dinner with
us. Mr. Thumper tbashful young rec
tor}-Oh, its not quite so bad as that,
Miss Gushley.
| cAChange Of Mind: Tommy Nav,
can / stay home from school to-day z
Mother-Yes, Tommy your father
wants you to help him put up the
stoves Tommy llooklng sick Hadn't
better 10 to school, nav? I've miss
ed two days this week already.
FeatheTlg's Early Departure: Ethel
What a short cali 11r. Featherly
made Clara-Yes; and wish what
profuse gallantry he backed TO the door.
He didn't even turn when he opened
| 1t He was all manners tonight. Bob
by (who sat beside Mr.. Featherly)-
Clara, here's two suspender buttons on
the sofa. Can ] have EN-?
Mistress, Mary, have YOU made the
dressing for the turkey? Mary-Well,
mum, I've made the crather's pants,
but Pm havin' throuble about his coat,
tor it'snO seamsthress | am at all.
A StifFNecked Christian: Kirwan
tells Of a plous Scotchman who used to
pray-O Lnrd, keep me right, for thou
knowest that if / g wrong mt is very
hard 10 turn me.
Disguised: Sappy-Miss Simper,
you looked perfectly lovely at the ball
Monday night Miss Simper-Non-
sense. You are such hatterer, Mr..
Sappy. Mr.. Sappy-But you did. Ac-
tually | didn't recognize you at first.
A Husbands FIattery: Wife (who
has been throwing out hints about a
tailor made suit)-Did you observe
Miss Rchley's figure? Husband (who
smells q rat Yes the poor creature
has no figure at all, and like other wo-
men in the same predicament. has TO
depend on tailor made suits Now you,
my love, are IIebe in anything.
Aunt Esther (trying to persuade
Tommy to 90 to bed early)-You kT 1w,
Tommy, the little chickens always 20
to roOst at sunset. Tommy-Yes, but
the old hen goes with them, aunty.
Absorption: Next to the small boy
on the front seat at a base ball game,
the most remarkable case of absorption
We ever saw was that Of a cat which
stepped on some floating sawdust un-
der the impression that it was solid.
Pleasant For The Bishop: Bishop
Borus (on his semi-annual round)-I
IIowdy-do, Bobby, my boy; do you re-
member me? BObby-0 yes, SIR; you
are the gentleman nav scolded paw
about because you smoked in the par
lor and nearly ruined the curtains.
A Too Successful Puff: Able Edi-
tor-Potley, did you notice that clever
puff gave you yesterday about the
growth Of your business? Policy
(glOomily)-Yes, saw it. Able Edi-
tor Well, weren't you pleased? Pot
ley with indignation) Shears, there
were four creditors at my house this
morning before breakfast.
The Twenty-F fth Anniversary:
Stranger noticing a throng of carriages
around fashionable resldencel-
What's the attraction here? Station
cry Loafer-It's a silver weddin'.
Stranger-What sort of wedding is
that? Loafer-Why, this chaps had
% wives and he's a celebratin' Of it.
The First Quarrel: Philip Fogy
(who has refused after prolonged dis
cussion to buy dress suit and take his
wife to the Goldbugs' fancy balD-I
wish had married sensible woman
HIS Recently-acquired Spouse (yindic-
tiyeIy)-She wouldn't have had you.
Aristocracy in America: A Mlchi-
gan lumber king, whose wealth was too
much for his democratic peace Of mind.
recently got out a patent OF nobility |
and coat of arms bearing the motto,
aVidi." Only his classical friends
knew 1t meant, Il saw"
Deaf Old Lady-What's the price
Of this rug? Salesman-Seven dol
lars, ma am. Old Lady-Seyenteen
dollarsi I'll give you twelve Sales
man-Seyen dollars is the price, mad
am, not seventeen. Old Lady-O
seven dollars. I'll give you four.
A sharp tongued Scotch-woman once
tried to reform her husband by employ
ing friend to play ghost and fright
en- the truant on his way home that
night from the dram shop. "Wha's |
there 2'' called out the sinner asa
sheeted figure rose from behind a bush.
'Pm the deeyil, was the reply, accom-
panied by an unearthly goan. "Then
rie MS grip O. your hand, mon" re-
turned the unahaahed toner: s'I'm mar