Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1892-10-02
In LIGHTER VEIN.
A BUNCH or GOOD SHORT STORIES COR
RALLIED FOR SUNDAY
Readers Who Like to Add to their Avordupois BY
Laughter-The Man Who Stamnersd-A
Modern French Short StOry-A Brave
COngrsssman-TOO Many Chances
for Fraud-Short Wonders.

It's great fun to be around when a
man with an impeachment In his speech
tries to talk through telephone. As
rule, he doesn't try it often, but some
times he can't help himself. Such was
the case with clerk in a railroad ONCE
down south, where was employed
some years ago. Like many others
similarly afflicted, he stammered most
when he tried hardest to stop it.
The superintendent happened to drop
into the Office one morning and asked
him to telephone to certain hrm OF
stock dealers who had been making in
quiries about the matter that they
could ship certain quantity OF mixed
stock in the same car, provided they
double-decked the car.
please, sir" said John-that was the
name by which everybody addressed
him-s'I'm afraid l c-c-ca-ca-"
"What's that?" queried the superin-
tendent somewhat harshly.
"It's all right, sir, responded John
meekly, convinced of the utter futility
of trying to explain to : stranger that
he generally got stuck on the words be-
ginning with I'd" worse than on any
other kind.
John succeeded in establishing con-
nections through central" all right,
and then the trouble began.
That stock will go all right" he
shouted, "if you d-d-d-d-d-"
Then he paused to take fresh start,
and the man at the other end o. the wire
evidently said something.
'Tts ali right" began John again,
eff you d-d-dd--"
His breath gave out and he stopped
to take in fresh supply, while the
other man probably inquired what sort
of an idiot was trying to talk to him, or
something of that sort, for Johns face
grew very red.
Blame it's he yelled at the instru-
ment, "put a b-bulkhead in the car"
But evidently the intending shipper
was not up in nautical terms and must
have implied as much, with the addi-
ton Of sundry reflections concerning
Johns intelligence.
Whatever it was it made John madden
than ever.
With supreme effc.r' - again
tackled the teleplaaJJ..o and shouted:
"D-d-d-dPgnn it! put f-fence through
the car, and If that don't do l ocean
lick you'll"
John was q good fellow, though, I'M
der strong provocation, slightly dis
posed to be pugnacious. / shall never
forget the last time / saw him. 1t was
in st. Lukes Hospital, this city. The
head of the department OF the railroad
in which he was employed was selfish
brute and made him work a great deal
of overtime without any extra pay. In
consequence his health gave way and he
came north to get well, but got worse
and had to go to the hospital. He was
without a penny, and those who had
been his associates in the railroad Of
Office made up little purse for him.
/ found his wife by his bedside when
I called to see him. She was a SAN
guine little body, and began to talk
about how she intended, when John got
a little better, to start small candy
store with the money that had been
subscribed for him and thus support
him until he was able to go to work
again.
John listened in silence for time
and then said sadly:
"Y-y-es, it will do to b-b-b-"
He was unable to finish the sentence,
but he made a downward gesture with
his finger and burst into tears. 1t was
painfully plain what he meant. Buried
he was few days later and with the
money that h ad been subscribed by his
former communicated York Herald.