The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1892-10-13

The parallel lines represent the hollow log.
The capital w is the widow seated thereon; b
is the book, C is Clarence, and the represents
hole which is about all that is left OF the
toad. The sort Of horizontal line with ON
top of it and two inverted VS. below is the old
red cow and is the raiment she is peacefully
devouring. The stars represent the sound
which resembled the gritting of sandpaper.
s s S 8 S is the surrounding forest, and
w w w w is the wimpling water.
This map represents what the sun saw. Bat
there was something which the sun did not
see. That something was gentleman by the
name of Partlow, who was at that moment
snugly ensconced in the hollow log upon which
the widow sat.
The sound that resembled the gritting of
sandpaper was made by Mr.. Partlow grinding
his teeth. 1t was Mr.. Part!ow's raiment which
the old red cow was mastcating little way
of, Just where he could see the work OF de.
straction from the open end OF the log. When
il is added that Mr.. Partlow was desperately
In love with the lady On the log, the distress
ing possibilities of the combination may be
seen at glance.
In person Mr. Lyman Partlow was trife
rotund. likewise slightly rubicund, with
shadow of a tendency toward goutiness. His
irons gray side whiskers were correct in cut.
and long lock, discreetly plastered over
polished waste, modestly restricted the sweep
of his brow to the summit Of his head. To say
that his life had run in peaceful flow for 43
years is but to permit the drawing OF logical
inference that Lyman Partlow had been
bachelor for that length of time. In fact, he
had been born bachelor.
Every Summer for many Mr.. Partlow had
left the roar and rumble of the city behind
him and cnsconsed himself for five or six weeks
in the umbrageous businesses OF Huckabuck
County. Year before last he stayed five weeks,
last year six; this year it was to have been five
again, and next year SIX. But the familiar
scenes about tho Shoog homestead Will know
him no more forever.
One day there came guests who upset in an
hour tho plan of Mr.. Partlow's quiet life.
They were the Widow Hostetter, charming,
chic and bonny, as young widows often are,
her vivacity tempered by n shadow of the
past, and her son, yellow-haired. innocent
faced imp as young widows only boys some-
times are who was chronically suffering to be,
but was not, tempered by regular aud judicious
application of the strap
At about the same time there arrived guest
who bore no baggage and paid no board-the
rosy god. Love He shot 4 tiny. ranking shaft
straight into tho bosom Of Lyman Partow.
brief synopsis will best illustrate the subse
quent condition of affairs:
Partlow loved the widow.
Partlow dyed his whiskers.
Partlow walked spryly.
Partlow waded swamps for lilies for her.
Partlow climbed bluffs for ferns.
Partiow smashed his pet pipe because she
detested the odor of tobacco.
He smiled like Peri when
Clarence wrecked his watch,
Clarence mixed paint in his shaving mug
Clarence deiied the Scriptural bears by call.
ing him "Old Baldhead."
He fed Clarence taffy and other sweets. He
served for the widow as What's -his-name of old
never served for his Rachel. He felt as if his
reward was ample when she called him
Ducky."
The widow was coy, bnt Partlow was hope
full. He was not so young as he once had been,
it was true, but he felt that she admired his
manly charms and preferred his maturity to
sappy, fedgling state. She was coy, but that
only made her more charming. He would bide
his time and eventually the prize would be his.
And, then--well, then young Clarence would
be summarily pushed off from his PEDESTAL
Thus matters stood till one mellow after.
noon when MIR. Partl0w wandering in the
wildwood, came upon the wimpling water at
the foot of the gentle slope. He felt like boy
again. 1t was but tho work of a few minutes
to prepare himself for the soft embraces of the
cool flow and plunge therein. As he splashed
and gee-wal0ped about in the water he felt
that all he needed to transport him back to
boyhood's care. free days again was the presence
of another lad on the bank who would tie his
raiment in well-nigh inextricable knots wet
the same and pound them with stone till there
was no untying them short of pulling with
teeth and claws.
Aud then, after he had ascended the gentle
slope and stood looking down at his garments,
almost expecting to find them knotted up as
they would undoubtedly have been in his boy
hoods happy days, he heard the gladstone
whoop of a childish voice, and, through slight
screen OF underbrush, beheld Mrs. Hostetter
and Clarence advancing in that direction.
For moment he stood still in a muddle Of
uncertainty. They were but little way off
There was no time in which to resume his
garments. There was nothing large enough in
sight to hide behind. One can sometimes CO.
cape bear by climbing slender sapling, but
woman, and especially young and pretty
woman, is not a bear. In two minutes more
they would be upon him. He fairly danced up
and down in frenzy of horror. He could not
dash away; the underbrush was too scanty to
admit of an unobserved sneak. Oh. il the
earth would only please open and swallow him
And, then, just as little Clarence called his
mothers attention to bloated toad he had dis