Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-10-01


with him - part OF his personal outfit which
IL admitted free Of duty? No, no had not.
How had they come, then? Why, some one had
brought them over for him. Had any duty
been paid3 Not . cent. Then some ono ied2
Yes, directly or indirectly. And some one
smuggled and cheated the government That's
the measurement Of 1t.
The troops Of people who are returning from
Europe at this season Of the year and are bring
ing large packages of clothes for their friends
must necessarily pass them on az their own and
In so doing do they not smuggle and do they
not lie?
"You are certainly well supplied with over
coats" said the custom house officer to the
young man whose trunks he was examining.
'Yes." he replied, 81 like them of all shades
and every degree of thickness
Sand Of all sizes, too, expect" said the Of
deer, as he passed on with contemptuous
grin.
POLITE SMUGGLING.
Now, those overcoats belonged, nearly all Of
them, to other men. who, relying upon his kind
offer to take charge of little bundle for them,
loaded the good-natured man down with their
clothes, and he, Of course, had to pretend they
belonged to him. This custom, BY the way OF
asking friend who is coming from Europe to
bring packages over for his friends has reached
such pass that some men who are going over
to Europe steal away without letting anybody
know it.
1t was the So &c remark Of literary man who
travels to and from England a great deal that
all women are smugglers by nature, but it lie
hard, under the circumstances, to believe they
are much worse than the men. The profess
sional smugglers are one thing. They have
false bottoms to their trunks, false pockets to
their clothes and a hundred other contriyances
for evading the laws. But they are easily dealt
with, for as soon as they are found out they are
arrested and they must pay the penalty. They
run their chances and 1t is probable that a
good many of them get caught. But the
amateur smuggler is difficult to deal with.
When he tells the inspector that the clothes are
his how can the inspector deny it? He is NOR
ally certain that they not all his, but they
might be, SO he is obliged to pass them. More
over, how can he tell the difference between
the dude with q valet who is bringing over
twenty suits of clothes all for himself and the
poorer man. who is bringing over twenty suits
of clothes for twenty different people? Reli-
ance must be put upon the statements made
and human morality is especially frail when it
confronts custom house. II all the duties
were paid that the law requires-in other words
If there was absolutely no smuggling-the sur
plus revenue OF this government would be
something astonishing.
SOME ENGLISH CLOTHES.
But all this is aggression and has nothing to
do with the contents Of the package Of clothes
that we started to open at the beginning of this
article. Struggled or not, they seemed to
please the recipient. First Of all he took out
an overcoat. 1t was of grayish, greenish hue
and was Of the bobtail order. When he tried
it on he looked in the glass and gave an excla-
nation Of delight. He said it fit beautifully
1t was, really, delightfully."- English. 1t was
loose in front and iooser behind. 1t hung like
piece Of canvas on pole. II the wearer had
imperfections of bodily shape it effectually hid
them; II he had a human form divine that also
was effectually hidden. He could have secreted
watermelon or a pumpkin under the coat
without anybody noticing it. The coat was
short and was doubtless comfortable Let us
hope 30 at any rate, for it certainly was not
pretty. The next things that came forth were
trousers. They, too. were loose and baggy,
and will flop around his ankles when he walks
Then he took out frock coat 1t was short in
the waist and long in the tails. 1t looked a
little like the coats one sees in the fashion
plates exhibited at the time Of the coronation
OF Queen Victoria. except that the gar
ments OF that period were of bright colors,
with gold buckles whereas the modern
Prince Albert coat is of black and without
ornamentation. There were some shoes in the
bundle, too They were not Of the skiff shape,
but rather of the shape Of canoes, pointed at
TIN END and SO cOntrived as to be delightfully."-
comfortable to an ill-shaped foot. An English
man usually has broad fat foot, with a low
instep, and these shoes suit him; an American
is apt to wear them, because he thinks they are
in good style. There were also gloves made Of
leather, stitched on the outside. II man with
large hand puts them on they make his hand
look larger: il a man with a small hand wears
them they make it look large.
Now being dressed in these clothes, with a
brown derby hat if sack coat is worn and a
| silk hat If the Prince Albert is being exhibited
who would not be shocked if the wearer did not
use the broad A in talking, and did not speak
OF railroad car as o railway carrlage?' This
fellows plumage is SO excessively foreign that
his notes should be SO, too. He should croak
like rock and not like a crow, for, you know,
crows in America are rocks in England
THOROUGHLY SATISFIED WITH HIMSELF.
What q pity it is to disillusionize q young
| man who dresses this way. He is 80 thoroughly
pleased with himself; he is so confident that
| nobody else is well dressed; he is 80 thoroughly
convinced that he is the subject of envy TO all
mankind that it is o pity to tell him the truth.
There Is no use in telling him he has no brains
that is not what he is on earth for, and he does
| not pretend to have any-but if you tell him he
| Ia not well dressed you touch him on the quick
| for he is on earth for clothes, and when he
thinks he has q fine English outfit well hung
upon his person he envies not the angels and
| their wings.
Some things there are on this earth which are
sublime, but the self-confdence and conceit of
| . genuine swell are the sublimest of all. Never.
no, never for single instant does he doubt that
he is the best and greatest Of the moving things
| upon the face Of the earth. Sidewalks are built
| SO that he may parade and show his costumes
| to the vulgar eye, cities exist 80 that he may
| have central depots where he can buy clothes,
| rain falls so that he may excite envy with his
umbrella and his large macintosh, and the sun
shines SO that 1t may see itself reflected from
the surface Of his beautiful silk hat Nature has
wisely ordained that il should sometimes be
cold in order that he may make men happy
With q peep at that gorgeous fur-lined over
coat, light zephyrs blow SO that our populations
may see his little covert coat. Who looks at
the crocuses in the grass, blooming in the
spring, when he comes by In his GehJ blue
cravat? Put the full-blown howers of summer
In one balance and his striped flannel suit IN the
other, hang out the scales. and weigh them.
and see of how much more importance the
clothing outweighs the flowers. The olorv Of
his trousers, the spendor Of his waistcoats' the
brilliancy Of his costs-really, the English Ian
guage is insufficient to express the full measure
Of human admiration, although the Enelish
tailors seem able to take the measure and male
the clothes that call the admiration forth 4
poet might call one Of these swells AN idxl ~
brown check tweed goods, or q musician MIGHT
call him symphony in West Of England vene-
tan cloth.
AMERICAN rAILoRs THE BEST.
To come down out Of the clouds to dsscecd
from the wearer to the maker Of the clothes. II
must be remarked that there are no tailors In
England as good as those in America. tn.
msu who patronizes the best tailors hera /.
better dressed than any Englishman who hss