Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-01-06
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

TEA-TABLE SALAD.
THERE'S nothing in size-when a pint
bottle can exert more influence over
some men than a church spire- Column
] bus Post
Tommy Figg," said the teacher,
you wrote this excuse YOURSELF
| "Yep," admitted Tommy ''You see
paw writes such poor hand at I felt
| 'shamed for you to see it. "-India5opotiS
! Journal
LovER-"Sir, l am passionateIy in
| love with. your daughter Have [ your
| permission to ask for her hand in mar
riage 2" Practical Papa-"That de-
ponds. What is your asking price ?"-
Boston Transcript.
! SHE-..Will you write to me OF your
return to college ?" He "Why-er-
you know [ can't write" She
so, [ don't expect you to write brill
lantiy or amusingly; just write as you
! talk. "-Pylnceton Tiger.
| PASSENGER Look here, Cabby, can't
you make your horse 90 faster? ] must
catch the 2:30 tram" Cabby-''Y Yes,
sir; my boss is an old race boss, boss,
and the best way to make him 90 faster
is for you to bet me a dollar that he
won't catch the 2:30 train. Directly he
| hear that it'll put him on his mettle,
IL
| Comic
EDAH seems ter been some kim OBJ
feeling tween dem two, said a colored
man. 'Yas, dey does. Hit stahted
FUN er pokah game "You doan
says" "Yass indeed. Yoh see, jack
son he he'll fob aces" "Good hand"
''Sho; on'y two Oh 'em was de ace OBJ
| dpmunds, an Mr.. Sixties is waitin' for
an explanation, which Jackson nab as
yet entiably failed to perjuce. - Wash
| jTgt0n Star
The farmer who hides his light under
q bushel incurs the risk of needing a
new barn.-L0UeU Nail
SIZE" Imitation seal jackets are go
ing up" He" Humphl When they
are on other women they're generally
run down. "-NeW York Press
A YOUNG Main Street merchant has a
queer paper-weight. It is the first bis
cult his wife ever made after taking a
dozen lessons in a cooking school.-B0t5-
ear Breeze.
BUNKER" How did YOU come to leave
your wife in Paris ?' Hill = "She
couldn't make up her mind whether
she wanted yard or yard and a half,
and | got tired waiting. - Cloak ReoieaU.
HUNGRY GUEsT-'sHow is this?
ordered steak and poached egg. [
Attendant-"Dats all right, sab. De
steak am under de egg. Tecd8 jSittings.
Mr.. MovEoFT-"W my dear, how
do you find the neighbors here-socia-
ble?" Mrs. Moveoft-''Ver Three or
four Of them have sent in TO ask if [
would allow their children to use our
piano to practice On."--NeU York WeekI1,
Miss VAN WINKLE- s'What Six hum
dred dollars for that antique? Why,
that's just twice as much as you asked
for it month ago" Salesman-'B
madam, it's just twice as old as it was
then. "-Nea0 York San.
ONE of the specimens Of Italian art
conspicuous IN this country is the faciIe
dexterity by which short measure is
given IN nlckel's worth Of peanuts
Washington Star.
New CLERK-"What do the iobbers
mean by putting C. o. d. on all the
packages they send us ?" Jeweler-"I
guess they think we are little fghy."
JeWelers' Weekgy
EMPLOYER (impulsively) = Miss de
Pinkie, Clara, will you marry me?"
Pretty Typewritist -"What And give
up my $50 a week salary? Not much"
-NeW York Weekly.
break up the ballet" Second mouse
-'Pshaw They wouldn't mind us.
Wait till the skirt-dancers come on
indianapolis Journal.
CHARLEY, / wonder what would be a
nice present to give papa for Christ
mas? asked Clara. 'Give him a pair
of padded slippers" suggested Charley,
gloomily. Siftings.
Il HAVE heard" said the Chicago
schoolmistress, addressing her class of
girls, that some of you are in the habit
of using slang. Is it SO ?" Some
blushed. some looked indignant, but
none Yentured to reply. ''If any of you
have acquired such habit" pursued
the sehoolmistress with a severe look,
"all I've got to say is, you've got to
shake it. '-NeW York Press
A MAN in Maine who has an aversion
to company has removed the elevated
walk to the front door of his house, and
now goes In by means of a ladder, which
he draws in after him. He has also
posted this sign: "No callers wanted
on the Sabbath"
THE man who never puts off till to
morrow what he can do to-day must in
evltably eat a great deal more than is
good for him.-SomerpiUe Journal.
He-"Do you think there is any truth
in the saying, Distance makes the heart
grow fonder?'" She-"Im sure of it.
L like you ever so much better when
you are away. Brooklyn Eagle
A LITERARY man becomes a nobieman
when he is baron of his ideas.-Lolgeu
Courier.