Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-03-30
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

TEACHER (of class in physiology
"What do you know Of the discovery of
trichina?' Pupil (who hadn't studied
the lesson) -"They existed before the
| food.' "Before the flood? How do
you know that?'' They were saved in
the ark with Ham. . Chicago Tribune.
How much more atfectionate the
photograph than out of it.-Atchison
| Globe
THE fellow who chad dream that was
not all dream" was out with the boys
till after night.-BnqhGmto Repub-
Hcdn.
THAT BoY.-Tommy-"Say, paw? ?"
Mr.. Figg-"Wel ~ Tommy-"Do they
get chicory from a hennery?" "Put
that kid to bed Indianapolis Journal.
THE GRooM-"I can't see that check
your father placed among the wedding
| presents"
The Bride-''Papa is so absent-mind-
ed. He lit his cigar with it. Life.
Hosr-"Why did you strike my dog !?
He only shifted at you" Visitor
'Well, you don't expect me to wait till
he has had taste Of me, do you pr
Fan.
"WHAT style of gloves are worn at
swell functions these days." "Well,
that altogether depends. If you want
to get near the supper-table, [ would
advise you to wear boXing-gloves, -
Harper's Bazar.
"WHAT's the price of them opera
glasses ?'' he asked as he entered the
opticians. Twenty eight dollars"
said the clerk. ''Well, say, I've only
got one eye. Can't you knock off so
per cent ?'-Harper' Baaar.
"HAvE you told your wife about
! this ?' inquired the Judge. mo, sir,
answered O'Brien. ''Well. | will fine
you S25," said His Honor, "and [ will
| suspend the fine providing you tell your
| O'Brien cast a sorrowful look at the
Judge, shrugged his shoulders, and with
mourntul shake Of his head said:
"Well, [ guess. Judge, you had better
let the fine stand. You don't know my
wife. y Chicago Inter Ocean.
A New JERSEY minister married fifteen
couples within sixty minutes the other
day. Fifteen knots an hour isn't bad
LoaCet Courier.
ARCHAEOLOGICAL Chappie Cat stage
door )--"Can [ see Miss Soubrette ?"
''Sorry, sir; she has just been called
away. Her grandchild is very sick. .
Cloak Journal.
"LEARN to labor and to wait" is good
| 81
the disposition manifested to disregard
the first portion Of the proverb and put
all the emphasis on the last Washing
| ton Star.
Miss BANGLE ION the beach at Florida}
Are you not tarrying here longer
than you expected, Mr.. Flushback ?'
Flushback-" yes, but I'm doing it
under advice" Miss Bangle-"Fr a
physician?" Flushback-"Oh, no,
from the hotel clerk. He advised me
to stay until hear from my friends up
North. "-Iruh.
REV. Mr.. EXTENPoRE-''M hearers, I
shall have to ask your indulgence for
few minutes. forgot my manuscript,
and have sent my little boy for it." His
| son, mounting pulpit Gn loud tone)-
Mamma couldn't find the writin', but
here's the book you copied it FROM"
| Ttd-Bits.
THERE are twin brothers in Brixton so
much alike that they frequently borrow
money of each other without knowing
it.-Tfd- Bits.
THE Germans of their beer are fond.
The French their native wines acclaim.
| The Scotch for 'hOts'' Unfortunately yearn
/ The Yankee always takes 'the same"
-Ne1g York Herald.
DON'T try to do too much. 1t is said
that man in Kansas is now bald-head-
ed because he was determined that his
wife should learn to eat pie with fork.
kansas City Times.
ATTORNEY WANTL1NG-"Wh did your
| father say when he discovered nv pic
ture in your watch?'' Miss Worth
THAT 1t was the only case you had ever
appeared in. "-JeaceIer's Weekly.
A CHURCH in Lancaster, Pa, offered a
medal to every person who did not miss
q church or Sunday School service dur
ing the year. One medal was awarded,
and the janitor got it.-LoueU Courier.
| EIsIToR-'I suppose you have to be
| constantly on the alert to prevent the
| escape of the lunatics." Insane Asv-
lum Attendant--"Ye nearly all Of
| them are just crazy to get out. '-ROch-
| ester Post.
THERE is difficulty in getting an eff
! clent rowing crew for the University of
| pennsylvania this year. Aquatics have
| suddenly lost pull with the students.
! The college row is not altogether obso-
lete, however, PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
WHEN eggs were placed in the new
| tariff it was with a patriotic desire to
| throw off the foreign yolk.-BOston
| Transcript
DURING the last twelve months the
| late Lord Mayor partook of 250 public
| Qlnn6rS.
NEIGHBoRLY--"And so your boy is
studying to be lawyer, eh, Parsons ?"
| Limberllp-"He am, sab !" Neighbor-
| ly-"Do you think him fitted for that
| profession ?" Limberlip-"Fitte for
| It? WY dat boy couldn't reckernice de
| trufe eff yo' paint it red an hung it on
| his bed pos. "-Boston Journal
"YoU are probably not aware, sir"
said the father, 'that last year my
daughter spent 81, 500 on her dress ?''
| Yes, | am" said the young man firm
| ly 81 advised her to do it over a year
ago, when we first became engaged. .
| Cloak ReUieW.
This is the way a Texas reporter be-
gan his written account of wedding,
| to which he had been assigned: GA
cloudless sky, ruled by the radiant