West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-08-25
A LAWN MOWER.
AND THE TROUBLE 1T BROUGHT
TO MIR. BOwSER.

"Dld that lawn mower come up
this afternoon ?" asked Mr.. Bowser,
as he came home an hour ahead of
time the other evening.
"Was that lawn mowor ?" quer.
led Mrs. Bowser in reply. "What
on earth possessed you to buy such
thing"
"For two good reasons, Mrs.
Bowser. | propose to save about
fifteen dollars on lawn moving this
summer, aud | want the exercise.
could have got n health lift, but |
thought | would combine business
with pleasure. Always kill two
birds with one stone when chance
offers. I'll work up a muscle in
couple of weeks to astonish you.
The doctor says it's exactly what
need"
"But l wish you hadn't bought
it,"
"That's you to n dot Always in
opposition to everything do.
That's why we take so much com
fort us family The only thing
you wouldn't oppose is my dying -
Mrs. Bowscr had nothing more TO
say, and after dinner Mr.. Bowser
made ready for his exercise. He
got into an old SUIT Of clothes. DRAG
ged the lawn mower into the back
yard and oiled 1T up, and was pres.
emily ready to make start. lie
looked up ut the bnck windows, and
seeing nothing OF Mrs. Bowser, he
spat on his hands and said
"la ! This is what'll give man
muscle and appetite. Only cost 50
and III get 800 benefit ont of it.
suppose | might rs well make a
start"
He made one. He had gone about
ten feet when the machine suddenly
stopped. 50 did Mr.. Bowscr. He
stopped so suddenly that his feet
!eft the ground and the handle of
The mower just missed his chin on
IN upper cut.
"Struck post, ell :" he mutter-
ed, rs he iGvestig tied and found one
rising about six inches out Of the
Garth. That's all right, however.
| didn't expect to NOW down posts
IS well as grass. Seems as if my
muscle was working up 4 little al
ready"
He lodged the post and headed
for the buck fence. and bis counte-
nance had just begun'to beam again
when there was great Gathering
and the machine stopped.
"Oyster cans - he growled, as he
took three out of the grass. "She's
probably watching me, and she's
probably tIckled half to death, but
I'd NOW this yard if it was full o:
deadly torpedoes." ."
lie reached the fence without fur
thcr mishap, leaving n trail behind
him as crooked as Il serpenrs. but
ut the first dash hc made on his re
turn journey something happened
again. Tho machine stopped with
a bump, Mr.. Bowser pitched for.
ward over the handle and brought
up in heap on the ground.
"Now, I hope to never draw an
other breath if ] don't slaughter
somebody for this - he yelled as
soon ds he could get his breath.
lie was going to jump up and
kick somebody or something, butit
occurred 10 him that Mrs. Bowscr
might be looking, and he sat up
and looked around and pretended
to be resting.
Nothing could be seen Of Mrs.
Bowscr, however, and after a cou
pie Of minutes he got up and mois-
tened his hands for q fresh start.
Everything went as smooth as
grease for the next twenty feet.
Then the mower picked mp a hun
dred feet Of clothcs.line wire and
waited for results.
"That woman's hand again 80
hoarsely whispered Mr.. Bowser. as
he saw what was the matter; "5ut
/ wouldn't give in now If knew
that death wasn't two rods of -
IL took him ten minutes TO clear
away the wire. When this bad been
accomplished he pulled OF his coat
and vest, glanced up at all the back
windows. and there was a danOeroue