The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-08-12

les, ueaf.
What the devil do they mean by daub-
ing all that grease over Mary's hair! It's
beastly to see lido you hear?-beastly,
Where's Pambys" Pamby is the unfor
tlnate workwoman who makes and meuds
the family linen.
Here, SIR"
"Pamby, what are you about now2"
No answer Panty or somebody else
Giggles family. The major flourishes his
zane in fury.
why the devil don't you answer mef
give you three seconds to answer me, or
leave the house. One-two-three Pam
by, what are you about now2"
IF you please, sir. Pm doing some
thing"-
"What?"
Something particular for baby, SIR"
drop it directly whatever it is Nursep'
Eyes, SIR"
mind the crossings. Don't let the chill
dren sit down if they are hot. Don't let
them speak to the other children. Don't
let them get playing with strange dogs.
Don't let them mess their things. And
above all, don't bring Master Jack back in
perspiration Is there anything more be-
tore go outs"
mo, sir.''
Matilda, is there anything morep"
mo- dear"
"Pumby, is there anything more2"
mo, sir"
Here the domestic colloQuy ends for the
time being. Will any sensitive person
especially person of my own scx-please
to imagine what l must suffer as deli
cate single lady ut having oil these fam
lily details obtrudcd on my attention,
whether like it or not, in the majors
rasping martial voice and in the shrill an
swcring screams of the woman insidep 1t
Is hard enough to endure this sort of per
sccution when one is alone, but it is far
worse to be exposed to it-as 1 am con-
stantly-in the presence of visitors, whose
conversation is necessarily interrupted,
whose ears arc necessarily shocked whose
very stay in my house is necessarily short
ened by Major Namby's public way of
managing his private concerns
Only the other day my old, dear and
most valued friend, Lady Malkinshaw, was
sitting with me- and was entering Mt great
length into the interesting story of her
second daughters unhappy marriage en-
gagcment, and of the dignifcd manner in
which the family ultimately broke it off.
For quarter Of an hour or so our inter
view continued to be delightfully."- uninter.
rupted At the end of that time, however
just rs Lady Malkinshaw, with the tears
in her eyes, was beginning to describe the,
effects of her daughters dreadful disap-
pointment on the poor girls mind and
'ooks, heard the door of the majors house
bang as usual, and, looking out of the
window i'll despair, saw the major himself
strut half way down the walk, stop. scratch
violently ut his roll of red flesh wheel
around so as to face the house, consider a
little, pull his tablets out of his wnistcoat
pocket, shake his head over them and then
look up at the front windows preparatory
to bawling as usual at the degraded female
members OF his household. Lady Maxim
shaw, quite ignorant of what was coming.
happened Mt the same moment to be pro
ceeding with her pathetic story in these
terms:
90 assure you, my poor, dear girl be-
haved throughout with the heroisin of q
martyr when l had told her of the vile
wretch's behavior, breaking it to her rs
gently as l possibly could, and when she
had little recovered I said to her''-
"3latildaw
The majors rasping voice sounded louder
IMAM ever as he bnwled out that dreadful
name just ut tho wrong moment. Lady
Malkinshaw started us if she had been
shot, l put down the window in despair;
but the glass was no protection to our ears
Major Mandy can roar through a brick
wall. L apologiZed-I declared solemnly
that my next door noighbor was mad-I
entreated Lady Malkinshaw to take no
notice and to go on. That sweet woman
complied. l burn with Indignation when
l think of what followed Every word
from the Nambys' garden (Which distin-
guish below by parentheses) came, very
slightly mufiied by the window, straight
into my room and mixed itself up with her
ladyship's story in this inexpressibly ride
m nrfi
well" my kind and valued friend pro.
ceeded "as l was telling you, when the
first natural burst of sorrow was over
, said to herr
Eyes, dear Lady Malktnshaw." muir
INJURED encouragingly.
II said to HERB
c'By lingo, I've forgotten something,
Matilda! when l made my memorandum
of errands, how many had to dos')
My dearest, darling child said"-
c'Pamby! how many errands did your
mistress give me to do?'D
u said, My dearest, darling child'"-
c'Nurse! how many errands did your
mistress give me to do2")
My own love- said''-
CPooh! Poohl tell you, had four er.
rands to do and I've only got three of 'em
written down. Check me off, all of YOU
Pm going to read my errands'O
Your own proper pride, love- said,
will suggest to you'd
c'Gray powder for baby"D
The necessity of making up your
mind, my angel ton
Grow the plumber for infamous condi-
tion of back kitchen sink.")
TO return all the wretch's letters,
and -
cSpeak to the haberdasher about patch
ing Jacks shirts')
"All his letters and presents, darling.
You need only make them up into parcel
and write inside -