The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1892-03-25
THE FRYING PAN
A Durham Gentleman Opposed to the
Pan Speaks Out.
He Mentions the Fact That Cr0ss-Eyed
Old Maids Could Be Helped.
HE CLAIMS CHILDREN ARE DwARFED
Iieyes the Frying Pan a Greater
Evil Than the Cigarette.

Iieves the Frying Pan q Greater
Evil Than the Cigarette.
1t is the "opinion of every physician
in the world'' that while tobacco anG
pies have slain their thousands, the fry
ing pan has slain it's tens of thousands
And in the face of this testimony and the
facts that are patent to every lover of his
race, how can men talk of tariff, silver
coinage and internal improvements, oil
even talk of saving the soul, while the
deadly frying pan is doing its work
Every one knows that the LIvER is the
sovereign of the system, and when this
is deranged everything goes to the bad
Burnt grease is the most indigestible food
in the world; and preachers, as well as
laymen in the church, are so blind to the
good of their fellows that they will eat
their chicken fried, their ham fried, their
beef fried, and their fish fried! And
distinctly charge that the church is in
league with the FRYING PAN. And ever
some of our preachers affect to believe
that if people choose 10 %patronize the
frying pan they ought to be allowed to
do 80.
What can we good people do when
men in high places do not scruple to in
dulge in the fruit of the frying pan. The
Creator never made a frying pan! He
made iron, but the frying pan is the re-
su'. of fire and the hammer! And no
christian can employ a cook who uses a
frying pan. When the Saviour used fish
it was broiled on the Goals, and Paul
would as soon have taken the serpent
that fastened on his hand into his bosom
as to have had a frying pan in his house !!
make bold to say that no christian
can make and sell frying pans and be
guiltless Of the blood of his fellow men.
And the church cannot take money made
by the manufacture and sale of frying
pans without lowering her standard of
mems sins.
1t will not do for us who are of the
household of the saints to say that the
frying pan is "a small matter beside the
cigarette. The frying pan DOE NOR
DAMAGE THAN H CIGARETTE! To-
bacco may produce a nervous derange.
ment, but it is slight in comparison with
the frying pan. Look at the pale and
pinched-up faces, stoop shoulders, wab-
bling legs, and wind broken votaries of
the frying pan! And all this transmitted
to children's children, until we are fast
becoming a race of dyspeptics. The
frying pan makes husbands cross and
wives s%ign-posts to the graveyard. 1t
makes children lie and servants steal
and then christian people run and sup
port a court house and Jail to punish,
when the cause Of the whole thing is the
church and the preachers.
There are 652, 459, TAB frying pans in the
United States, costing the enormous sum
of $3.50, 1876 1918! If the money saved by
the killing out Of the whole frying pan
business was put into schools and col
leges it would be sufficient to give every
Aluuy "Ouldl duu Clllu III ILLS Country d |
knowledge of mathematics, enable them
to master the Principal of Newton, speak
Latin, Greek, French and German, to- |
gether with Choctaw and Bungalese TO
say nothing of the addition of four ounces
of brains to every square foot of corpor-
osity. The frying pan produces torpid
livers, destroys the appetite, ruins the
stomach, and produces cross eyes.
A few years ago a first. rate physician
told me that the frying pan was the
enemy of religion, the ruin of civilization,
the bane of government, and the evil
genius of the household.
Let the church refuse money made
from frying pans, and let ministers cry
aloud and spare not, and let all good men
"vote as they pray"
| hereby myself a candidate
for governor upon this platform; Down
with the frying PAN"
| would not object to being elected to
COZ gress, If nobody wants me for gov.
but the cause can never be car
ried unless / am elected to some office,
even if it be constable. Revolutions
never 60 backward. We are bound to
triumph in the end. The women are on
our side. a friend at my elbow says,
VERY few of them" Well, if they are
FEW, they are the best. We don't want
the modest, sweet women; we need the
broad-faced and square-shouldered wo-
men; women with big mouths and sheet
iron faces. The women know their
rights. The frying pan has done and is
doing its deadly work upon them. They
have lifted it, and twisted it, and have
.mournfully gazed into its depths of ruin
and suffering, until ~ferbearance has
ceased to be a virtue. Wives have seen
husbands come home with sick
headache and hollow eyes from last
debauch of the frying pan, and