Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1892-12-25
" PARSON" AND "WATERMlLLlON."
A Story Founded on Actual Faets-He
Was Mistaken in Himself
tWrltten Tor tho Dlspatch. !

A Story Founded on Actual Faets-He
Was Mistaken in Himself
Written for the Dispatch.I
"Truf or de biznes are, Marse Dick, /
amt de man tuck INSET ter be-"
The circumstances which called forth
the above remarkable confession were quite
peculiar.
The time was night; the scene the out
skirts Of large wstermClon-pa and the
dr0md'is prSong. small black darkey
vsiuly struggling to free himself from my
grasp upon hls coat-collar. At his feet lay
the shattered fragments of what had been
q very large, ripe melon. 1t was picture
for al artist.
The individual thus taken in the act was
called Parson. lie was an eIhOrter and
sort OF q spiritual adviser among the other
negroes on the plantation, hence the So
b gud " Parson."
Ihad long suspected before he made the
confession that he was not altogether the
man he pretended TO be.
HIS SKIRTS CLEAR.
Many little sly acts of his strongly sug-
gestod that ParsOn was q veTitable hyDo-
cr.te Somehow he had heretofore managed
u clear ms skirts. He could pray louder
and longer than was absolutely necessary.
Deaf mutes only could have properly ap-
IlttltAtn liz great lhlE B|Ntis lAt hlN ~ ,
made II point in my presence to give the
younger negroes about the plantation
most excellent advice, and was continually
warning them TO keep their hands from
picking and stealing. Parson generally
came out with whole bones whenever
a chicken or a pig was missed; but now |
had him IN the tolls with the evidence OF
his guilt plainly IN eight, and l must &C
knowledge Twas curious TO know lust how
L ii 49, "a d al
SO. YOU hypocrite!" | said. you
preach ore thing and practice another"
Vas, Marse Dick, dat pears true nuf
now, an 'pearances are nightly ngln me,
but. sab, Is not spOnsable fur dis. Irut
er de bizuis are, walked heah in mi
sleep"
That is a rich excuse. nv man, TO be
sure. So you are somnambullst 2"
Fps no nambulator bout 1t; | doan play
'possum. Is sleep-walker, OATS what
are. NV ole 'oman, long TO she went 10
GLORY, used ter tic me 70 de bed-poS' by de
big toe ter keep me frum waIkln' In mi
sleep"
well, then, explain to me fully why you
a-e here, and why you dropped the melon
sad started TO run, If you are a sleep
walker"
HIS EXPLANATION.
"Zactlv. sab: zactly. Is gwine ter did
dat 10 yer satcrfnctlOn," he said, laying his
right hand impresslvely over that portion
of his anatomy where an honest heart
should beat and where clear conscience
should have been imbedded. AN as |
marked afor' Is not sponslble fur dis. DE
worl. dc flesh. and de debbul have spired
t3gedder TO fling me frum do high noun
tam. rs hurd 20 fat pigs Jest squeein'
IL de lane; Is passed by 70 chlckln crop
when de mite was dark an de CRATE stars
fused 20 glib dsr lite, but nary tenn
tatiOn cum nigh me. When l seed dese
watermillions Ies hangln' on de vines so
sweet an lucy, wild dc red meat and DC
black seeds, said TO mysef, says !, Par
son. You better look out now, sho. De
ole Satin will temp YOU ober an abuv de
mower of de flesh TO zist: fur he know or
dar am a weakness Wild de darky 1t am fur
dc watermillion. So ter mite as | Law under
de trees lookln' up at de stars, an Won
derin' ef DAY war really little Worls emo
mi. and eff de 'habltants raised de red
mn1ts mn dar. or was day only bits of tin
mailed to de ski. rs eberybod 'beleayed,
fo' de advent ob science, drappsd 10
sleep. an den il war dat Satin cum an
whispered III mi yer:
THE TENPTER.
"'Do Won Tub wstermIllIOnsY
"' Feared to me like / ansered an said !:
"Xhat fur You ak me dat question:! 20
long wild YOU an cit out;
- Becase.' he said, dar am sum nifty
fine ones clos TO YOU.
Den II 'peared to me il war broad day.
lite. en- YOU cum long an took me wild
YOU 10 dc patch. | could see dem as
plain as sees you, sir. l had big one on
mi sbolder. when all Of student l
thought satin cum an screamed IN mi yer !:
Uncle ParsOn, do you Tub water
millions? ,..
mn an dar | was an dar you was. l
thought YOU was ghOs', Mars DICK, swar
did. Dat are de reasun started 10 run
when YOU ketched hole o me. Now, you
knows It all"
" And YOU expect me to believe such
preposterous story
I'm course | dus. in course spects you
TO bleve the truE Ar ! sponsIOul tur
what I'm led ter do IN mi Steep Anou'e 1.
wav to slider u are dis: You knowes IL
Won 'spose me TO my collud brethren mi
tluence wid dem are gone, an who Is oar
10 keep dem from stealin'y Fur de sake
n, argument. low as how l tuck de water
million wild mi ewes open, an sposen /
hadn't or preached to de young nlggers 70
he homes. dey would hab taken ten Oh yo'
wotermillions. whar ! got onlyst one.
Amt dat wuf somethln' % You
was forced 10 admit that IT certainly
pIaced the matter III . new light. prom
"a rim ne should 90 free, provided, how
ever he did not walk in the direction OF
my watcrmelon-p patch again during MS
nocturnal somnambulistic ramoles. IL
was there he made the remarkable contes-
SION mat he was not the man he took MIN
WELDON, n. c., December II, 1892.