The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1892-11-09
"StuH."


"stufr."
When fellow takes to writing for
publication he (naturally) "puts out set
hooks" in the stream Of public opinion,
and if he be Of a somewhat conserva-
tive makeup is prepared to appreciate
his 'catch" no matter what position it
occupies in the astrological line be-
tween the tad-pole and the whale.
We discard Cfrom dire necessity any
future mention of the whale, and pro-
ceed to discuss some of the ''smali fry"
and in all of the meekness Of which
our modest nature is capable, intro
duce to the notice of our readers his
semi-embryonic ubiquitousness, The
People (one-tenth head, eleven-tenths
stomach, and the balance tail), whose
sole aim and employment seems to con-
sist in wiggling around on their i'm
proper fraction and stirring up mud to
obscure the vision of marketable fish,
and ia the after times, whose caudal
appendage is metamorphosed into
patent back actioned spring attach
ments, that goes with hop, skip and
a Jump around the whole field of jour
nalism appropriating with croaks Of
equal appreciation for the dainty can
die fly and the noxious bog-beetle and
that despite Shakespeare's 'jewel in
the head" is consigned by Burns
"hump O. the back" to the realms of
darkness-Sic transit gloria Jrogi. The
cat fish that gobbles to garbie the willy
bass, that delicately tastes and then
appropriates without so much as "by
your leave" and lastly, that tAsus ndtal-
r9 the norman or talking fish, two Of
which I have "taken out of the wet"
to be rewarded with the following:
1st criticism, ''Darn foolishness." End
criticism, "Staff."
Now, some people would take on the
''high and mighties" if criticised in
such words; but some don't, Of which
last am. There is too much sincerity
couched in their expressive language
to allow in ME any, save the klndest
feelings of appreciation.
Some one has said that "there is al
ways calm after storm" Speaking
from political standpoint, I am COM
PEELED to admit the truthfulness Of the
saying; for, in our beat the silence is
80 dense that you can't stick butcher
knife up to the handle in it. Not one
hurrah have I heard for any one. Is
this apathy or security? Are we in
the storm centre, simply waiting for
the other side of the fiery circle? What
does it all mean? I can easily under
stand why poor devil like the chap
who wears my pants and who hasn't
even any breath to spare, keeps quiet;
but I don't understand why the boys
who sre ''scooping in the TIM don't
yelp bit, just as reminder of "Auld
lang sine" ..
shall allow the question to follow
my bad habits, and give it up, because
I can't help myself am informed upon
good authority that huge snake, a
veritable Anaconda, Boa Constructor
Pithon done up in one package, indul-
ges in semi-occasional glide through
certain parts of India, mashing small
shrubs and twigs, and leaving the i'm
print of his mighty body, even upon
logs in an advanced state of decompo-
sition. So far. have I dealt in fact, per-
NIT me to indulge in a little bit Of
fancy; but first, has any one lost pet
snake? or to return to our matter or
rather snake. Do you suppose that
that old hood!um of appletree notoriety
could possibly be prowling in these
parts after some ricalcitrant Hebrew
who had sold his birthright for mess
OF puree or pottage or peaches in the
immediate past?
Jerusalem Street, dots have been
somewhat sparce Of late owing to the
fact that the dotter was laid up with
the sore-head; but now that we have
gotten so that 1--WE speak as we pass
bye" and since he has attended con-
venticle of the congregation, and heard
with what sincerity they cried out
s'let US kill the fatted prodigal, the calf's
got back" he is prepared to promise
you something rich, rare and racy in
the line of gossip, politics and educa-
ton.
Cotton is almost all out, money en-
tirely so and every thing else is hump
ing itself to to keep up with the pro-
cession-except poverty, of which latter
we can say, without boastfulness, we
have enough to supply the demands Of
future generations with lavish prodi-
gality without material detriment to
the surplus. We have a little bread,
and. with abject apologies to Smith &
Co., few molasses" and if the rains
hold out we expect to have plenty Of
water. Speaking Of rain, we have just
witnessed the retreat Of one OF the most
profitable dry spells seen in these parts
for some time. On Friday we OBJ
served signs of its termination. The
clouds gathered from all four corners
of space. The leaves were tremulous
with half doubtful anticipation; the
thirsty stood agape; the ants carried in
their front doors; the old hens oiled
their overskirts and things generally
were ready, willing and waiting for
rain; and it came and caught some OF
US, as it always does, out of stovewood.
That word out has terrible signif.
canoe; it used to be "out Of sugar, out
of coffee, out Of clothes, out! out! out!
eternally out, until in anguish of soul
I implored the "old woman" to substi-
tute some equivalent, until she could
congratulate me upon being out OF
debt. She agreed to taboo the word,
and I'm. safe for the next century.
We even say ''let's vacate the domicile''
to keep from saying out Of the house.
What equivalent does she use? Well,
that's 9 secret. hI,t will tell voI1 DrO-