Evening journal., 1892-07-26
BACH 10 DECLARE wAR.

Hc and City Treasurer Adams Have Post
poned Writing the Formal Declaration.
Scene Corruption Han Time Alonday at
midnight. Dramats Personm Bach, Ma
haiiy s Co.
Adams" Bach what do you call that
thing You got up in the tax Office ON
Saturday,
Bach-"Joe, that was one of my
genuine imported race riots, with pole
tical lining"
Adams-"Is that so? Well, Won ought
to label thing of that kind The public
might not understand &c. II You pnt up
sign. This is riot. there viii be no
excuse forany misunderstanding the true
condition of affairs ! can 90 down TO
the store and By the iudicious use of a
poker inside coal scuttle get up bet
ter riot than You created with n handful
of nigeer fire caters. Why don't YOU do
the square thingy Declare war ON the
Commonwealth of Delaware. send your
declaration to the governor Call for
10000 niger volunteers for privates and
500 white volunteers for ofiicers2 Don't
be acting like a guerilla Come out
above board and don't give the niggers
all your dirty work to do
Bach-"By iove a capital idea The
event will be chronicled by historians as
Bach's Rebellion How do you write a
declaration of war. JoeY'
Adams-"Oh that's easy enough You
write and win dictate it, Now To
His EXcellency, Robert j. Reynolds.
Governor of pelaware-Please send me
four express wagons and six 81. % Gro
quot sets by limited ex-
Bach-"LolSe here, Joe, do you want
to insult me am not writing an order
for goods This is declaration of war
and war to the death.
Adams" Forgive me, noble youth.
forgot. 1t was simply force of habit
The thought of cannon balls brought
croquet balls TO my mind and | spoke
mechanically Just strike out all after
Delaware, and begin again. Make it
read this way DEAR Bon-Feeling con
WINGED that the affairs Of this common
wealth are not properly administered,
have determined to rebel agains {
the constitutional form of govern
ment now existing, and declare New
Castle county TO be free and independ-
ent empire with Frederick / on the
throne. don't suppose it will suit, just
bring it back and we viii refund the
money or give you other goods in
exch-"
Bach-"Ye gods do you think am an
italian trinket peddler2 want to bury
the knife TO the hilt in the side of the
body polite I'm a holy terror and | see
blood on the moon. Don't talk TO me
about bringing goods back"
Adams-"Well, now, Fred. You needn't
get your back up. just slide up that
gas-pipe and let me have the pen. and 1
will place you on the throne i'm little
while ] never declared war my self. but
| have a cousin in the War Department,
and il runs in the family. Now 90
ahead: You have trodden us under
foot You have treated us as paupers
and have denied us the elective fran
chise ! think the Water Witch Fire
Company should have its lot as near the
/ Logan House as possible this hot
weather Well sir / wish you could
have been up in lodge last night We
| just had one of the prettiest limitations
you ever saw. IL was a preacher He
climbed the greasy pole all right
preachers are good climbers. But when
it came toriding the royal long haired
/ goat he couldn't ride worth a d-n.
That is something new for a preacher.
/ Where was l. Bach on the declaration
Of WARP
Bach-"Dont let's declare war to-
night Joe It's too hot ! will get Phil
Churchman to draw up the documents to-
morrow In the meantime, can't you
steal those two cannons from the rear of
the City Hallg'
Adams-"Nou bet I'll just put them
down the cellar This is the calm that
precedes the storm
Bach-"And this is the clam that
creates it, What going homer Well,
just wait until / dictate a letter to the
stenographer, and I'll go with you.
Adams-"If war is declared and you
are successful, you won't forget your old
friendsY'
Bach-"No, Joe You shall be the
Grand Duke of Sixthandmarketstree
and Marquis of Forlorn Lord of the Elk.
chequer, and foot-holder Of your sover,
eign
Adoms-"wn it be a limited mon
archy.
Bach-'Yes, in this way. lt will be
long TO Bach a Co. 04imited) The
rest will be despotic Good night, old
man; don't forget the ordinance.