River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1892-09-22
PITH AND POINT.

We would all do iuore lifting mp II
we would do more looking up.-kam's
Horn
The man who always has an AK to
grind rarely ever uses it in any other
way.-Dallas News.
There is no use quarreling with the
milkman-he'll make you take water
every time -Elmira Gazette
Modest bearing is very commend
able in man, but ii is no recommended
ton to a fruit tree.-Lowell Courier.
The Wing. What wing of the
army did you belong to. Col. Vet7"
''The one that few off. Yankee Blade.
"A husband should always make his
wife an allowance. Every wife, you
know, has to make allowances for the
husband. Boston Globe.
No Husband at All.-Dora-sI re-
gard crippled husband as no husband
at ALL" Cora-''No; he is only lame
excuse Yankee Blade.
Miss Candour tagged seven, to lady
who has been singing with a good deal
of tremolo 10 her mothers guests)-'I
gargle in the nursery."-Tit Bits.
My old man." said Mrs. Grogan,
sis all right barrin' little fondness for
drink. His love for pfwisly is his strong
est weakness. indianapolis Journal.
-"She's came in, papa" ''She's come
in, You should say, Dorathy. Your
grammar is very bad" as she, papa?
What did she do?"-Somerville Journal.
-Johnny-"What did your mother
whip you for, Jimmy?" Jimmy Eatin'
green fruit" Johnny-"Who give We
away?" Jimmy-"The doctor. Wash
ington Star.
THAT young minister will never
succeed; he is too easily confused" II
never noticed it," Il did At Emma
Harlins' wedding he kissed the bride
groom and shook hands with the bride"
London lid Bits.
-Giglamp-"Why does Rowley al
ways keep his mouth screwed up in that
way?" Surface--"Ie got into the habit
while trying to pronounce his words so
that he can get them in edgewise when
talking TO his wife"
About the only difference between
the girl who gets her education at home
and the one who goes away TO school is
that the homemade girl says Rats"
and the other other enc raises her eye
brows.-Atchison Globe.
That He Might Read. -Strawber-
81 don't see how you remember so many
things" Singerly-"E enough. l
put them down on my cuff" Strawber
with white lead pencil, sup
pose. "-Clothier and Furnisher.
Mr.. Fitz-Racquet TAT the seaside)-
"Don't You misps your husband, now
that he's gone back to town, Mrs.
Spooner?" Mrs. Spooncr-"Oh, no.
You see, just open an umbrella and
let newspaper peep from underneath
it-so-and forget he isn't with me-"
Funny Folks.
81 tell you it takes nerve to be an
officer out where ! was" said the re-
turned westerner. "Once, when | was
deputy sheriff. | arrested fellow who
had killed eleven men" AN pfwat of
it?" sneered Officer McGobb. IL pulled
the boss av me own ward wanst. In
Annapolis Journal.
Miss Sharp-''1'd think your broth
er would show more attention to the
girls than he does" Miss Olde-"Well,
you see he is under promise to me to act
As my escort everywhere until ! am
married" Miss Sharp - 81 shouldn't
think he'd want TO live bachelor all
his life. Kate Fields Washington.
"A Realist.- Edwin.-'What do you
think of that artist who painted cob
webs on his ceiling so truthfully that
the housemaid wore herself into an at
tack of nervous prostration trying to
sweep them dcwn?" Angelina-''There
may have been such an artist, but never
such n housemaid. Yankee Blade
The Encouragement of Art
Wealthy Amateur-"Since you spr
10 Jones and me about this pictur
Cadmium we have arranged that one
Of us shall have it." Cadmium (bright-
sning)-''I am glad of that, very glad
glad on your account, too. Which of
Fou has ito" Wealthy Amateur-"Well,
we are going to pitch up for it, and the
one that loses takes the picture"
-'What excuse have you to offer for
yourself - SAID fearful wife to her
husband. who came in rather late and
rather unsteady. There is hardly any
excuse that would Justify man in
staying away SO long from the society
Of so lovely and charming a woman as
yourself my darling. but on this occa-
sion there was" well, never mind.
dearest" she said, drying her tears,
''it's all right; let me help you pull off
your boots. N Y. Press.