Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-09-01
sprinkies OF spice.

bluB uuuUOH hopuuAiOoh'
PAPER-HANGERs are about the only
men who succeed In business by going
to the wall.-Texas Siftings.
PEOPLE who are able to raise
breeze have an opportunity TO be i'm
mensely popular during dog days
SOME men IL they take one swallow
will insist on having lark.-Boston
Post.
"YoU are the only girl l ever
loved" "Then we would better part
don't want to marry freak
Life.
DAPPER-"Whv did you leave your
last position; didn't it suit your"
Flashly-"It didn't even keep me in
neckties."
THE crying need in naval affairs Is
a marine Koch who can cure the raw
ages of coal consumption. Baltimore
American.
THE walking delegate does not wear
out half as much shoe leather as the
striker who is looking for another job.
New York Herald.
WIFE-Harry, why did you have
your new trousers made without pock-
cts? Husband-I did 1t for the sake
of change, darling.
A WAITRESS may not know how to
deal a pack Of cards, but she can
easily raise the deuce by dropping a
tray.-Glens Falls Republican.
If the early bird which catches the
and visit the electric lamps he could
get his fill Of bugs. Post.
THERE is room to doubt whether
person who sits in the gallery OF
church is responsible for the deeds
done in the body.-New York News.
MANMA-"How terrible! A man
was drowned at the bathing beach
this morning" Daughter-"Dear me!
And men are so scarce here. New
York Herald.
The nail trade is said to be looking
up. Certainly; think Of the cam
paign lies that will have to be mailed
between now and November.-De-
troit Free Press
PAULINE Geems, what yo'
wiggilin' yo' toes dat away fo'? Is
yo' well?" Geems-"I'se jes' countin'
up how much l made dis week pickin'
strawberries. Judge.
YOUNG WIFE-"What do you think
of my pie-crust, Jack?" Jack (who
doesn't wish to be as severe as the
case warrants)-~Very nice, my dar-
ling; but don't you get the shortening
in NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Post.
WHYTE-Are you good at arith-
metic, Browne? Browne-Good, my
boy? Pm simply phenomenal at it.
| j can add column Of six figures up
seven times and make it come out
eight different ways.-Somerville
Journal.
JOSEPH is witty head-waiter.
One day during the hot spell guest
said to him: This weather is pretty
hot, isn't it, Joseph?" abe jabbers,"
he replied, "hot is only nickname
for it. Detroit Free Press.
PERDITA-"Are you going TO accept
him, Pen?" Penelope really don't
know, dear. Bradstreet reports very
favorable on him, but the detectives
have not completed their investiga-
tions yet."-Life.
lRATE PASSENGER (who has been
carried down town instead of up)-
"You told me this car went up town
when l asked you conductor" Con-
ductor-"So it does, sorr, on the re-
turn trip. "-Harper's Weekly.
"WHY do you keep the butcher
knife by the side Of the water cooler?"
asked man who was making his first
visit to Cincinnati, of the hotel clerk.
"To cut the water in slices, sir" re-
piled the clerk, with some surprise.
Life.
DANCING MAsTER-"I want to look
at some nice shoes for dancing" Shoe
Man-"Yes, sir; here you are, nice
pair of kangaroo skin shoes-and you
know, sir, for hops the kangaroo can't
be beaten. Inter Ocean.
WHEN man takes off his linen
collar and dons neglige shirt, and a
woman throws aside her loose waist
and puts on a stiff shirt with high
collar, you may know that the hot
weather has come.-Grand Rapids
| DCIlOCldU.
AS A rule, man who has mus
tache he can twist or whiskers he can
stroke is three times as long making
up his mind as one who HASN'T
Atchison Globe.
THEY says Mars is going to be a
very interesting study" yes" she
answered, @and as you may want to
use the latch key, I'll go with you
while you study Washington
Star
Il WANT an ice chest with a glass
door, he said to the furniture man.
Are you particular about the glass
door," "Yes, l want TO put the
thermometer inside and look at IT,.
Washington Star.
Mr.. FITz RACQUET (at the seaside)
Don't you miss your husband, now
that he's gone back to town, Mrs.
Spooner? Mrs. Spooner-Oh, no.
You see just open an umbrella and
let newspaper peep from under
meath it-so-and ] forget he isn't
with me.-Funny Folks.
f..~