Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1892-12-23
posY HoLLER.

is kind o. bad, an Saryan Is laiu Up WIN
the indisposition, an I've got the rheu-
mats, an a sore head from the effect OF
that water saryan poured at that crS'ed
l6t foot feline, | hsint had much chance
to git around. though | went mp to the
Brook to see cousin Milt Crahill on pint
OF law. an git a anicdote for that odorif'
erous perfume 80 repugnant an perpeiuaie
that our feline visitor DIT &c. IN
such marked prodigality in an around our
humble abode. Not beiD' able to find the
aforesaid deoderIzer, found cousin Milt
Crabill an got his advice on the law pint
which was this | left nv boat tied with
a straw band at the river an cousin
Harry SCOTS COW come along, got on the
boat, eat up The straw band an down the
river went the boat an upset, mashed all
to pieces, an drowned the COW. So l
wanted to have the sqnar thin done.
Cousin Milt said should lose the boat
an Cousin Harry lose the COW, an both
of us fetch him ] bushel Of pop corn an a
yaler punkin for his dsciden', an try an
keep outen law hereafter. l recon that's
about right, but it's a uncomon wonder
one or tother of uni hadent thought of
that an saved expenses. Well, every
thin is very dull around the Brook, an
money wary scarce. Some of them mp
thar as kin pay Tor their HERALD wont,
an some of them as would pay, can't l
rally feel sorry for you folks an if was
YOU wou!d come down an see Cousin
Milt on a piut Of law. Some time ago
there was a report down in our Holler that
cousin Mart. Bauserman had traded his
store to cousin Charley Jones fur a lime
kiln, q piece of woods an a horse stable
an was cheated. But tell you the way
he is a putin up new houses it don't look
that away. heard that littlc three
year-old child OF Mr.. Jacob Hamman's,
while ridin' an oxen, lead by his father,
fell to the ground an fractured his soul.
That ar DR.. in the Brook says he is dom
very vel. That ar DR.. has got everybody
cured up aronnd the country an now he
haint you nuthn' to do; if he haint got
more money than be says, be will haye to
eat crow this Xmas less some one gives
him turkey. Well, l must tell you,
before stop, what happened last Sunday
night down to our house. Mary Matilda's
teller come down to see her an we all sot
around the fireplace, poppen jokes an
craken corn an laufu' an SIGH till purity
late, when Saryan says, leone on, Neal,
let's 70 to bed an let the young uns spark"
says, "you go on; I'll be thar in a
mint" Saryan went mp an put out the
lamp, so arter little while l wont up,
too. Gist as I went TO git in bed Saryan
said, Meal, shet that door but don't fall
over your feet an break Your neck, you
know how awkward you are IN tho dark"
Gist then l tramped in the pipe hole an
down went till ] got to right angles, my
foot went IN a bucket of sausage meat
that gas a hangin' to The ice, knocked it
down, an it struck Moses Eli, Mary Ma
tilda's Teller, on the head, Knocked ont
the lamp, an up jumped Moses Eli, claped
his hand up 20 his head as hurtin', an
felt the sausages, an hollered Good
Lord, Mary Matilda, I'm killed, git a
lamp, my brains is comm cut" By that
he started to run; l reckon he diden't
want to die IN the house, an he tool
right ont the back door an stumbled Owe
the slop bucket an fell head fust in q
kittle Of seft soap that Saryan had so
out thar 20 cool, and oil Bounce started
after him an kotohed him IN the soap
When Matilda got the lamp an started
after him she met ole Bounce comm ~
the path with one trOuser leg an piec
of suspender, but we haint heard from
Moses Eli yet. After Saryan got th
lamp I went to see If any one was killet
an they vasen't, bnt Mary Matilda rul
asin' the door jam an knocked her nos
clear around to her left ear-(that ar vii
spile her looks a httle). She Is a greavel
after Moses Eli, She IS afraid ole Bounc
his eat him up. Well, guess I will clos
fur this time, as it is dark an Sarya
wants me to milk an churn an nus th
babe while she goes mp to Uncle Dsniel'
fur some saffsron tea to make tho measle
come out on the children. l tole her
she would wash the dirt off they nigh
have a better show. Yo1 must com
down an sc uns soon.
Yourn in respect,
NEAL BUzZARD.
n. B. p. ST can sell my pop corr
an coon skins want to 20 to WashIngto
to see my granmother's 81 cousin as live
thar. know he VIII be glad to see me
| want to take him some pop corn al
perslmons. n. B.
| Arrrry.. TDOnT CIT TTTXE