The Portland daily press., 1892-01-01
VARIOUS VERSES.
The st. Joe Gazette.


When / helped 'em run the local on the st.
Joe Gazette,
l was upon familiar terms with ever one met:
For Items" were my stock in trade in that
my callow time
Before the muses. tempted me to try my hand
at rhymes
Before found in verses
Those soothing, gracious mercies
Less practical but much more glorious than
well filed purse Is.
votary of Mammon, / hustled round and
sweat
And helped 'em run the local on the st. Joe
Gazette.
The labors of the day began at half past a. M,
For the farmers came in carly and / had to
tackle them;
And many a noble bit Of news managed to
acquire
By those discreet attentions which all farmer
folk admire;
With my daily commentary
On affairs Of farm and dairy
The tone of which anon with subtle pufferio
I'd vary
Oh, many a peck Of apples and of peaches dia
get,
When l helped 'em run the local on the s.
Joe Gazette!
Dramatic news was scarce, but when nil
strel show was due,
Why, Milton Tootle's opera house was the,
my rendezvous;
Judge Grubb would give me points about tn.
latest legal case,
And DR.. Runcle let me print his sermons whe,,
I'd space;
OF fevers, fractures, humors,
Commissions, fits and tumors,
Would DR.. Hall or Dr.. Baines confirm or mi
the rumors:
From Colonel Dawes what railroad news there
was l used to get,
When 1 helped 'em run the local on the St. Joe
Gazette.
For personals" the old Pacific House was just
Pap Abel knew the pedigrees Of all the hu-
man race!
And when he'd gin up all he had, he'd drop
subtle wink
And lead the way where one might wet one's
whistle with drink
Those drinks at the Pacific,
When days were sudorifc,
Were what Parisians (pray excuse my FRENCH
would call ''magnifque!''
And frequently an invitation to a meal I'd get
When helped 'em run the local on the st. Joe
Gazette.
And when in rainy weather news was scarce
as well ms slow,
To Saxton's bank or Hopkins store for items
would go:
The jokes which Colonel Saxton told were old,
but good enough
For local application, in lieu of better stuff.
And when the ducks were flying,
Or the fishing well worth trying
Gosh! but those sports" at Hopkins store
could beat the world at lyingl
And IL printed all their yarns Though not
without regret,
When helped eln run the local on the ST. Joe
Gazettel
For squibs political I'd go to Colonel Waller
Young,
Or Colonel James n. Burnes, the Statesman
with the silver tongue;"
Should some old pioneer take sick and die,
why, then I'd call
On Frank M. Posegate for the 'life"-and
Posegate knew 'em ALL
Lon Tullar used to pony
|. Up descriptions that were toney,
OF toilets worn at party, ball or conversations;
For the ladies were addicted to the style called
'deckolett,"
When helped 'em run the local on the ST. Joe
Gazette.
So was wont my daily round OF labor to pur-
sue,
And, when came night. found that there was
still more work to do;
The telegraph to edit, yards and yards of proof
to read
And reprint to be gathered to supply the print
ers' greed
Oh, but it takes agility
Combined with versatility
To run country daily with appropriate abilityl
There never was q smarter lot of editors, I'll
bet,
Than we who whooped up local on the St. Joe
Gazettel
Yes, may be it was irksome; may be discon-
tent
Rebellious rose amid the toll I daily underwent:
If so, don't remember-this only do know:
My thoughts turn ever fondly to that time In
old st. Joe.
The years that speed so f1eetly
Have blotted out completely
All else than that which still remains to solace
me so sweetly;
The friendships Of that time-ah mel they are
as precious yet
AS when was a local on the st. Joe Gazettel
Eugene Field in Chicago News.
New remedies are being constantly intro