The Progress. (Shreveport, La.) 1892-1900, 1892-12-24
About Some "ColoneIs."

About Some ''CoIoneIs"
Mr.. PRoGRESs: Due TO absence from
the city. it has been several weeks since
my last communication. Allow me
to-day to express few thoughts about
some "Colonels," class of pseudo mi ita-
ny gentry that do most abound Q am cor
strained to say i'm the cover section of
this chivalrous southland. We have them
here in Shreveport. We meet them
daily.
Every observant man has not d the
weakness OF the southern people for
titles, aud more particularly military
titles. IL looks as though many people
think that titles OF some kind are essen
tial TO the preservation of southern indi-
viduality. Most of us probably have
heard of the old Jews injunction TO his
son lsaac. when s arting out in life: Isaac,
you is shust now beginning pizness, and
now vat L want you TO understand. il dis:
Make money! Make IL widOut stealth if
You can, but il YOU cannot do dot, make
IL anyhow, land don't you forget it," So
II would appear with the average south
erner. Acquire a title by honorable STR
vice If you can, but If you cannot do
dot" get il some how or in some way,
bat be sure you get il.
L do not know which is most note-wor-
clllty with which the public bestows these
bogus It'll :, or tie simplicity and vanity
OF the harmless fro Ids who with such an
parent gulllDllity ana satisfaction appro-
PIRATE them. Let the reader run over
in his mind some of these ''COonels" he
meets every day, who, if his life depend
ed on II, could not discern or tell the diff
ference betaeen The route step and
quick step" Il dress Parade and q ba-
TALON drill. ] say, let him Ia NIX of one of
these fellows at The head of Il southern
regiment III the famous charge at Gettys-
burg, and the picture By lis vey ludri-
crousn. 50, will IN my opinion, in great
measure teud to cure him of thls titular
mania.
There are among us 5 ores of old SOL |
diers, genuine colouels, who maintained
on mauy battle field the claim to their
stars and spurs. Colones they were aud
as colonies they should continue to be |
addressed, but do let us quit the absurd !
practice of clubbing as Colonel" every
consequential indsyidu who chances 10 |
have rOtund sioma n and pletl ric |
pocket book, aud who for this latter lea-
son Is perhaps deemed special subject |
Tor codulation and cOddliug. If it were |
q simple weakness il might be tolerable. |
but IL is puerile and silly.
This southern idosyncrasy, If | NAV so |
term It, Is justly the subject of ridicule |
among all our neighbors, and particu-
Iarly among our northern brethren.
When they visit u, they naturally and |
wonderingly ~ ask what has become of |
The rank aud HE of the southern cohortsy |
what carnage there must have been:
the held and STAFF alone remain
We read o. the statesman, Mr.. Glad
stone. OF the philanthropist, Mr.. Peabody.
and OF Mr.. Dickens, the author of Eng
land. We have likewise heard OF Mr..
webster. Mr.. Sumner. Mr.. Gould. Mr..
Blaine, Mr.. Cieye and some Others
oI .ne MED states north of us, but who
ever did hear OF a distinguished "mister,
III the south. No, the ultima thule of
the Southernei's ambition is not attained
VII ne gets TO be a Colonel" Pahl
Your most humble servant.
GRnurup