Omaha daily bee., 1892-01-10
PRELIMINARIES TO a DIVORCE.
Or How the Grip Got Away with II Wal
nut Hitler.

Or How the Grip Got Away with IL Wal
nut Hitler.
He had the grippe so he was unable
to go down town. His wife wanted IL
piano for the girl, Dell. He told her she
had better buy the Wegman, as they
staid in tune longer than any other
piano and were superior in tone and
workmanship. She could look around,
however, and order one up on trial, and,
by the way, AVE a note OF 300 coming
due at the bank today and ] will give
you the money to pay it, handing her
the necessary amount in bank notes as
she started out with a light heart on her
financial expedition. She visited all the
dealers warerooms and noticed that
while they talked in favor of their own
goods, they invariably said all they
could against the Wegman piano, SO
that she concluded that 1t must be a
pretty good instrument or thoy would
not be afraid of her buying il. She liked
the Wegman so well she paid the $500
for it and ordered it delivered. Misun-
~derstanding her husband and not know
ing anything about business, she then
went to the bank and told the collector
her husband wanted his note sent up to
the house on trial. Madam, we do not
send peoples notes on trial. Then,
sir, their notes cannot be very good
if you are afraid of people trying them.
When | got a sewing machine | got it
that way, and don't see why the same
rue should not apply to notes as we'll as
sewing machines, don't see why a trial
should hurt anyone's note. I'm sure he
would be careful of it. She would tell
her husband, however, and he could fix
1t up when he got well, The lady went
home and was so delighted with the
Wegwam piano she forgot all about the
note. The next day her husband was
better and went down town as usual, but
found he had lost 81, 800 in a western
speculation and decided to postpone the
purchase of Il piano until @ X year, so
to let his wife down easy he Dough he
an elegant silk dress and his daughter a
$50. 00gold watch, giving n check for the
same. When he calne home his wife
thought he was very liberal and Won
dered at the occasion Of such over
whelming regard. Finally he remarked,
/ have just met with n 81 500 loss in
business, and while that is u lovely
piano, we cannot afford it this year so |
just got you a silk dress and Dell the
gold watch. Why husband, | bought
that piano yesterday and paid for it.
How did you pay iforit?
With that $4,000 you gave me.
Why, did you not go to the bank and
lift my note of $500. 00t
No! You told me to go TO the bank
and have your note sent up on trial and
that is what | told them TO do, but that
stupid clerk looked at me amazed, then
| told him to leave the matter until you
got we'll and you would fix ii. Well, |
will fix IL up, remarked her husband,
but the next thing | buy will be a schol-
arship in some commercial college, and
if that was anything but the Wegman |
would kick it out of doors, but as every
body likes the Wegman piano | will
teed ii and tell the cashier of that bank
that you had been taking chloroform to
have II tooth pulled and had not recov-
erep from the shock, and If any one
wants IA voucher for your sanity | will
send them 10 the dentist, Good night,
madam, l win 60 to the club