Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-07-21
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughable.
ScissOred Smiles.


very ong.-Dallas News.
The man who crooks the elbow
habitually is the same fellow who
takes it straight. boston Courier
WHERE did Bright spend his hon
ey-moou?" honeymoon, you mean;
he married So, 900, 900. Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
The recent activity in the comet
market makes it appear that the as
stronOmers' business is looking up
Buffalo Express.
The college commencement season
is time when the happy senior is in
excellent spirits and often vice versa.
-Elmira Gazette.
FAIR AMATEUR-"Yes, I painted
this. What school of painting would
you call it," Artist gently
Boarding school," - New York
Weekly.
CoRBEIT has been examined by q
doctor and pronounced perfect. 1t
now seems assured that he and John
L. will whip each other. Columbus
Post.
WHEN the druggists clerk is treat
ing his best girl to soda he is apt to
forget to put cents in the till, for he
is engaged in syruptitious business
Boston Transcript.
WOULDN'T the impecunious young
man be happy during ice-cream season
if the girls mouths were no bigger
than fashion-plate makes them APP
pear?-BradfOrd Era.
THE man who devotes too much
time to trying to see both sides of a
subject is in danger of contracting a
mental strabismus that will prevent
his seeing anything clearly.-Wash-
ington Star.
els SMITHINs smart lawyer"
Every. Man went to him with q
case involving $3.50. Said he was
willing to spend 81, 500 to get it back.
Smithins made him out a bill right
off for ST. $50. "-Brooklyn Life.
THERE is a good brother in Topeka
who is such a Sabbatarian that he
won't ride in the street cars on Sun
day. and he is so close-tisted that he
won't ride in them other days, SO he
walks all the time Topeka Journal
HUNKER's INJUDICIoUs REMARK
-Gazzam-"That was bad slip Of
the tongue on Hunker's part" Mad
dox-"Yes, he had just eaten a
banana. Puck.
us BRONSON as forgetful as eyer?:"
"More so. Why, that fellow has to
look himself up in the directory every
night before he goes home from bust
ness. ForgetS his address. "-Harpers
Bazaar.
ToM-"Jessie has something Of the.
military air about her." Jack
"Never noticed it. What?" Tom
"The agility with which she flies to
arms. New York Herald.
EVERY man who takes part in your
procession expects in return that you
will some day blow horn in the band
in his procession.-Atchison Globe.
SOMETIMES a man is justified in
feeling that "the most unkindeSt cut
of all" applies to the picture of him
that appeared in the newspaper
Washington Star.
FATHER-That cat made an awful
noise in the back garden last night.
Arnold-Yes, father; / think that
since he ate the canary he thinks he
can sing. Bits.
Pearl-Does he love you? Madge
Pm sure he does; / spilled some:
strawberry ice-cream over his new
To- ~ np ifrIf nd
he never said even Great Cesar
Brooklyn Eagle.
run for de doctor, quick. Help
help! Dot baby has swallowed a
nickel" exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg.
"Mein Gott! you make 50 much fuss
as if 1t vas $40 gold piece, Repec-
Ca" replied Moses-Texas Siftings.
JAGsoN notes the tendency of the
soaker to become a sponge. -Elmira
Gazette.
this is an application for relief
as the man said when he stuck the
porous plaster on his pain.-Phila-
delphia Record.
THAT was great downfall" said
the barber when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip. Wash
ington Star.
The sphere of woman may indeed
be boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed wire
fence.-Rams Horn.
SATAN-"Did you torture him
well?" Asmodeus-"Yes." Satan
what did you do?" Asmodeus-"I
asked him if it was hot enough for
him. New York Herald.
HELLO, Jones, what are you doing
with your coat buttoned up to your
chin? Are you sick?" JoneS-"Hush,
don't mention it; have on tie that
my wife selected. Chicago Inter
Ocean