Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-06-11

aggregate salaries Of this number amount to
Is much as those of all the rest put together.
Thus the larger and more luscious pfums are
withdrawn from the politicians to extent
that is extremely distressing to them. Even at
this season Of approaching elections frequent
appear In the Washington news
papers offering cash In amounts from s75 up
for unclassified situations in the departments
at ESQ or $50 q month. These propositions,
often successful, are addressed to corrupt per-
sons Of petty authority or influence, who are
able to sell such small appointments secretly.
This method is q survival Of the old patronage"
system, under which people came to think that
employment by the government could always
be got by paving money. Up to within q COM
paratively recent period brides were actually
profered not unfrequently to the civil service
commission by individuals who supposed this
70 be the bost way to obtain the clerkships they
desired.
NOT SENSITIVE NOW.
81 used to feel somewhat sensitive on that
point" said Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt
yesterday, ''but ceased to mind such offers to
bride me when found that every other officer
Of the government, from the Presidents pri-
vate secretary down, was approached in the
same way. My curiosity is aroused by these
persons whose moral density is 30 extreme
that they actually seem to be unaware of hav-
AuS CoulultteO any lulpTopriety. We Always
deal with them very summary, striking their
names at once from the eligible register. In
more than one instance where we we're asked
whether $50 would be any object, and notified
the offender that his name was struck off, we
have received a plsintively indignant letter,
saying that the writer had no notion that his
proposition was anything out of the way and
adding that from what he read in the news
papers he had supposed that all offices were got
by such means. Which gives one an unhappy
impression" added Mr.. Roosevelt, ''of the edu-
eating influence Of a certain section Of the
press"
An astonishingly large proportion Of totally
ignorant and illiterate persons apply for gov
eminent clerkships. Many Of the examination
papers look as If they were written by disciples
Of josh Billings. The puzzle il why such peo-
pie should imagine themselves fitted to fill posi-
tions OF the kind. In one case a man wrote in
dignantly that he had been barred out on a
Technically" one technicality against him
being that he spelled .'butter" with one ''t'
and "borrow" withourany final "w." Another
person, who took the formal notification Of
place and time for the examination as a per-
sonal invitation, addressed himself Is follows to
the 'Comischer Of Siyel Sirves;''
WHY HE WAS NOT PRESENT.
my Dear Brother. am very sorry that
could not Meet you on the day you said but
gentlemen, am glad of the cause that Kept me
mard years, an tel The Other Day, Me an my
Wife hsv bin the onley mbers en- ow fannie.
well Sir on the Da before you're Exammena-
shun, Ny Wife Had kupple ov tuins gest
Think Of it MrComisher, and Of corse cuddent
90 OF and leave Her and them. Just stade
home and we had q sellabration-sn Invited
all my friends 10 diner l wish you had bin
thare. 1 Hope 1 can be thare next time Mr..
Comischer. Very Trly yores etc.
Mot least interesting Of the numerous mental
freaks who write to US are many persons Of both
sexes who are convinced that the commission
is controlled by politics." said Mr.. Roosevelt
They commonly state, as matter Of informa-
ton, that a certain Senator or Representative
Is going to have them put into Office soon as
they have passed the examinations Sometimes
they convey this news as q warning to us, inn
plying that we had better look out and pass
them all right or else we will suffer. In re-
spending with the usual points Of instruction
about examinations, &c. we tell the applicant
that political influence will not affect the result
In his or her regard. The candidate, if present
in person, particularly if woman, usually
smiles, as If our statement was q familiar but
fallscious formula One western man replied
to the communication with a note of defiance,
saying that his Congressman was going to put
him in whether We Liked it not. Strange to
say, he did not get in. Another declared that,
II his mark for penmanship was not raised, he
would have the commission Investigated by
Congress. In most such cases the applicants
pass low down or fail and, after waiting for
months and bothering the lives out OF the poll
tician on whom they relied, but who is per-
fectly helpless to aid them, they write to US,
imploring or threatening. After q while that
ceases.
INFLUENCE WON'T PULL THEM THROUGH.
Usually the candidates who are backed by
influence fail, because they rely wholly upon
their pull But now and then 1t happens that
a ma having poifical Ia BRIGHT md
capable fellow and secures q position by passing
high in the examinations. Curiously enough,
in such case the successful person can never
be convinced that he got the place by his own
merit Az soon az he obtains it he writes to the
politician on whom he relied and thanks him
FOR the appointment The politician, innocent
Of instrumentality In the matter, who had no
notion that the appointment was made, responds
with gracious letter, expressing his gladness
that his exertions have been productive Of serv-
ice to his protege, and adding best wishes for
his future success, &c. Then the new appointee
tells all the unsuccessful candidates OF his ac-
quaintance how his hacker has q pull with the
commission. They go to their hackers with COM
plants, and for fortnight afterward the COM
mission Is deuged with letters of protest on the
kubject. 1t is impossible to convince many ap-
plicants that there is not some way Of accom-
plishing their ends unrighteously, il they could
only find it.
Zone Of the regular duties Of the commits
elOn, communist Mr.. hOOSeVolt, rs TO deny
over and over again certain time-worn alIeRa-
| tons respecting irrelevant and ludicrous
questions supposed to be asked in civil service
| examinations. For example, it is declared that
candidates for situations as clerks and letter
carriers required to state the distance of the
earth from Mars, the length Of the Yang kiang
river and the military services Of Artemus
Ward. These pure pigments Of imagination,
created originally in joke, are accepted seri-
ously and have been solemnly repeated as true
| In the United States Senate. Deniais by the
commission have usually had no further effect
/ than TO produce a reiteration Of the charges.
| In my early days as a member Of the board
! found that the most effective plan to adopt in
such cases was to offer to bet the author Of the
attack sum Of money, at odds Of ten to one,
that no such question had ever been pro-
| pounded by the commission. Nearly always
| the response was refusal to gamble, based
| upon moral grounds. On the rare occasions
| when the bets were taken they were never paid.
People have got tired Of repeating this kind Of
assertions but am still sometimes amused
| when succeed in Turing Congressman to the
| rooms Of the commission to notice his frank
| surprise at the discovery that our questions are
merely such common-sense tests as would be
applied by the head Of any large business es-
| tsblishment in the selection Of subordinates.
The vitality Of the himiest Lie is simply marvel
| Gus, and it Is most curious to observe the min
| ute circumstantiality and resolute cheerfulness
| with which the inventors Of these falsehoods
| iteuize and repeat them.