The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1892-01-30

A Casual Callsr 70 Whom All Style
Were 90 One.

"Any vacancies ON this paperf"
This was the question propounded by the
| long. lean. loose iointed man who casually
| dropped in. walked about the room, look
| ing at the maps, calendars and other things
| that hung on the wall. and finally sat down
on the edge Of chair.
"What kind of vacanciesw
ANY kind" he rejoined. that gives a
fellow a chance to climb up-something in
the writing department"
| "You will have to see the managing
| editor"
HE isn't in. thought you NIGH,
know"
This is the wrong room for you to strike.
But hold onl You ask if there are vacan-
cies. How many could you fill;"
Most Of 'em, l reckon. Say, I'd like to
| show you what can do. Give me some
paper"
\ pad Of copy paper" was laid before
| him.
In the course of ten or fifteen minutes he
| produced the following which he said was
| not necessarily for publication, but as a
| sample of what he could do:
| HOTEL DESPAIR, ST. Louis Observation-Disclosures
| struck this caravansary this evening regis
| tered from Chicago. did this to impress on
| the mind Of the gentleman who keeps the tav-
| ern the conviction that | resided las we say in
| Boston, where they know how to keep hotels
| and was not man TO De i'm posed on and kckcs!
about like a common traveller.
| The tavern keeper look ed at my name and af-
| dress. Then he looked a me and sent me 70 a
| spare thin and tired looking room on the inp
| floor. There was water pitcher. but no water
| said 20 the gentlenaniy ac,-de-camp who I.:.!
| accompanied Tie and cheered me on the NAY
| up the stairs that | would be obliged !: re
:; H.
| and faded slowly down the stairway
| Then | sal down IN the cleaning and waite;
| for that water. y g0aIniug in q sinai room u
the TOP floor of s. Louis hotel IS the C:os-..-
| INCEST thing 70 sit down in ever experienced
| / would give worlds If could bio. it from !n-
| memory.
| waited half an hour for that water Then
| went down 10 tie Office and told the cle-k
| wanted K sent u clght away. He promised -
attend 70 TIE matter AID went up TO my room
| again. wa.iet: another half hour and the..
! climbed down the stairs again and told tt..
| clerk that II he lid Tot send that water 10 II.
| FIVE minutes would hunt some other paiati%.'
| inn ! said | was not going 10 speak OF The
matter again and he might consider this my
| uit!matCn.
Then he said il a commanding voice that
| was heard all over the hotel:
Front. take some kind Of water up TO the
| gentleman's room Thunder and lightning.
| cant you see he's from Chicago
| Though high up and somew hat exclusive
| TO location, my room is not lonely one.
| have been visited this evening by twenty
seven separate and distinct rats or twenty
seven separate and distinct times by the same
| rat II it was one he all looked alike
have always wished could have been on
| hand when my old friend Noah took the AMI
| mails into the ark
should have used every honorable means to
persuade him no, to let any kind Of rat or any
| relative Of the rat family come on board |
| should have said:
Noah. il you knew as much about rats as |
do you wouldn't take one Of them on this she
| bang for douole first class passage rates paid
| in advance You'd keep every one Of them OF
| II you had TO hire q mate from Nississippi
| river steamboat to stand at the gangway with
| club and swear at them You want to star;
| on this excursion with the good VIII Of the
workingmen. don't you. Noah? Then don't let
this be . rAt ark"
But Noah has been dead these thousands of
years and here | am still lingering on the
shores Of time, a lone. detected pilgrim with
spectacles and hollow cough.
You can't tell az ything about mans chances
| for the kingdom Of glory, however, by listen
| ing TO his cough A cough Is one OF the mos;
deceptive things on earth have known many
| o rich bat frugal man with hollow cough 70
attend the funerals Of healthy looking bat poor
relations one after another, who had been
waiting with q fond. lingering yeAyning for
| forty years to see that hollow cough get in its
work on him
There Is nosh;ng more unutterably sad than
| to see q rich ma. with hollow cough at the
funeral OF poor relative that has died OF pre-
mature old age and yearning.
Il could turn out that kind Of literature
! all day." said the strange visitor. "Iou
| never saw me in the act OF initiating the
editor of the Atchison Globe grinding out
NJ = hnx I n n
Then he assumed severely cynical ex
preston and wrote what follows:
When q man begins to feel old he simply
doesn't tell his age. When a woman begins -
| feel old she merely lies about it
The who never makes q con6daot g:
| anybody IS the only man whom yoa sAoC-.
make your cooadact-
X the women ~ this country were 70 De sud
denly afflicted with stiff nee Ks 50 they coC-LL
| turn their heads when they passed each other
| on the streets, al the dry goods merchants
| from Portland 20 Galveston woold 50 t-;.'
| bankruptcy IN less than six weeks
An Atchisou young woInAn who IS Threatened
| that the visitation may De averted- Her trlea->
| are in q QuAndAry.
| The dog is mans faithful friend becaasc
there Is good deal of the dog in most men
| Here is about the style in which the
| young man who writes history for the New
| York Weekly goes to work"
With these words he went TO work again.
| with this result:
| Mrs De Style tAnxtoosly,-Doctor, do You
| think dear little Fido is quito wel1
Fashionable Doctor tooldly-I am not dog
| doctor. madam. bot l am unable TO see tina;
| anything ais the animal
Mr.- De Style Joytully>-Thea, doctor, will
| you please go and look at the children: The
nurse says they don't seem to be very well this
| morning.
| And this is about the style Of the In
| dianapolis Journal Watch me-"
| After an effort Of some minutes he turned
| out this:
Yahsley-Wickwire. l don't suppose you
know the Bickerdykes, at the other end OF the
| avenue They are very swell and exclusive
I've got an invitation 70 attend grand party
there next Thursday night. but I don't know
| whether TO go Or not I hate to waste thu
time.
wickwire-Better go Yabsley. II I were il