St. Landry democrat., 1892-11-05
Ecfssored Srs,iIeQ.

they would not have any rich uncleS
very long.-Dallas News.
THE man who crooks the elbow"
habitually is the same fellow who
takes it straight. Boston Courier
"WHERE did Bright spend his hon
ey-moOu?" honeymoon, you mean;
he married SO, 900, 900. Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
The recent activity in the comet
market makes it appear that the as
stronome1s' business is looking up
Buffalo Express.
THE college commencement season
| is a time when the happy senior is 10
excellent spirits and often vice versa.
-Elmira Gazette.
FAIR AIATEUR-"Yes, I painted
this. What school of painting would
you call it?" Artist gently
Boarding school," - New York
Weekly.
CoRBETT has been examined by a
doctor and pronounced perfect. 1t
now seems assured that he and John
L. will whip each other.-Columbus
Post.
WHEN the druggists clerk is treat
ing his best girl to soda he is apt to
forget to put cents in the till, for he
is engaged in syruptitious business
Boston Transcript.
WOULDN'T the impecunious young
man be happy during ice-cream season
If the girls mouths were no bigger
than a fashion-plate makes them ap-
pear?-Bradford Era.
The man who deyotes too much
time to trying to see both sides Of
subject is in danger Of contracting a
mental strabismus that will prevent
his seeing anything clearly.-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
"Is SM1THINs smart lawyer?"
very. Man went to him with a
case involving $50. Said he was
willing to spend $1,000 to get it back.
Smithins made him out bill right
off for 81, $50. "-Brooklyn Life.
THERE is a good brother in Topeka
who is such Sabbatarian that he
won't ride in the street cars on Sun
day, and he is so close-tisted that he
won't ride in them other days, SO he
walks all the time Topeka Journal.
HUNKER's INJUDICIoUs REMARK.
-Gazzam-"That was bad slip Of
the tongue on Hunker's part" Mad
dox-"Yes, he had just eaten
banana. Puck.
is BRONSON as forgetful as ever?"
"More so. Why, that fellow has to
look himself up in the directory every
night before he goes home from bust
ness. Forgets his address. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
- ToM-"Jessie has something of the
military air about her." Jack
Never noticed it. What?" Tom
"The agility with which she flies to
arms. New York Herald.
EVERY man who takes part in your
procession expects in return that you
will some day blow a horn in the band
in his processioa- -Atchison Globe.
SOMETIMES q man is justified in
feeling that "tha most unkindest cut
of all" applies t.: the picture of him
that appeared in the newspaper
Washington Star.
FATHER cat made an awful
noise in the back garden last night.
Arnold-Yes, father; | think that
since he ate the canary he thinks he
can sing.-Tid-Bits
Pearl-Does he love you? Madge
I'm sure he does; I spilled some
strawberry iee-cream over his new
lavender trousers the other night, and
he never said even Great Caesar
Brooklyn Eagle.
run for de doctor, quick! Help!
help Dot baby has swallowed a
Nickel" exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg.
"Mein Colt. you make so much fuss
as If 1t vas a $50 gold piece, Repec-
Ca" replied Moses Texas siftings.
THAT was a great DOWNFALL, said
the barber when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip.-Wash-
ingt0n Star.
This is an application Tor relief"
as the man said when he stuck the
porous plaster on his pain.-Phila-
delphia Record.
THE sphere of woman may indeed
be boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed wire
fence.-Ram's Horn.
SATAN-"Did you torture him
well?" Asmodeus-"Yes." Satan
What did you do?" Asmodeus-"I
asked him if it was hot enough for
him. New York Herald.
HELLO, Jones, what are you doing
with your coat buttoned up to your
chin? Are you sick?" Jones Hush,
don't mention it; I have on tie that
my wife selected. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Mrs. YoUNGwIFE-"Can you give
me veal cutlet?" The Butcher
certainly, madame" Mrs. Young
wife-"And if it isn't too much
trouble, can't you send your boy to
the bakers so / can have it breaded?"
e.