Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1892-08-26

gets up in the morning and feeds the
mule Then his mother feeds him. He
goes to the field and plows aud comes
home to dinner, feeds the mule aud has
his mother to feed hun. Same thing at
night, and they both 90 to sleep-the boy
aud the mule WORKING and living along
together. They both know geo" and
"haw," and that Is about all they do
know.
He ridculed the politiciansof both par
ties WHO lived on the Ignorance OF the
people. The republican politician says
the great republican party sayed the
country, and then the democratic poll
tlcan comes along and decllIes that the
great democratic party saved the country.
Ii this country is saved nov, then we
ought to fall to praying right off for
damnation because we want Just the
exact opposite of what we have got now.
Then there's the Alliance and the Third
party. | like yOu old fellows, bnt You'll
never get there. Yon are good folks and
may get to heaven. but you'll meyer get to
Washington. But then Washington is not
on the road to heaven anyhow. | am
straight-up Observation-Disclosures
light-in- the-last- IrJhibitiOnist. |
am prOhibitionist because then | won't
have to change my politics when get to
heaven | used to be a democrat as long
as a Christian gentleman conld be snch a
thing, but now / am good clean well Of
that. And you Old republicans needn't
to grin abOnt it, either, for thank God |
never was so low down a. to BE- one Of
You. We prohibiiionIsts don't expect to
win this time, but we are like the boy
that had the calf 10y the halter when it
WAS running away. We don't expect to
stop the old parties, bnt we do expect 10
SOW 'cm M little. Bro. Hector said if
the prohibtionists succeeded in closing
the saloons grass would grow in the
streets I hen we'll raise more hay and
less h,ll and the cows and the women of
the country will all be benefited
Yoa men talk about the principles Of
your party. Not one II ten Of you have
read the constitution of the United States
and You wouldn't know principle if you
met it in the road lacarded from top to
bottom.
What do your girls know heard one
OF them talking to dude the other day.
He said nothing and she glggled, and then
said nothing and he giggled. 1t was
giggle. gggle, giggle, until had to mOye
my chair and raise the window. How
many of you h ye read J. G. Holland,
Bulwer, Lytt,n, or Thackeray, or spent
days porting over Shakespeare or other
standard Literature What do yOn know
You know nothing. The girls only want
a good time and they fad it all in dress.
The boys only want good time, and
they find 1t in a horse and buggy, a game
of billiards, a visit to shameless house,
perhaps, and in taking a buggy ride with
the eiils Sunday evening. Fill your chill
dreu's beads with this book taking mp
the Bible. II you want TO make them
strong TO resist the wrong Fl ] thoir minds
with this book,
have now talked an hour and am
liable 10 keep on TIL sundown, but # any
of you are tired you know the way hone.
You can get out for nothing. II is not
fair to iill a man up and then keep him
sitting till he runs over. Some Of you
won't hold much.
The last phase Of the home is tho moral
phase. II tic6les one to s'c the preachers
trying to run the devil out of Harrison
burg.
They arc like n dog once saw running
a hog. The d0I was IN front | don't
know whether the preachers in Harrison
burg endorse me or not, but | don't en-
dore them. III hal fshed in one hole
tor six months and didn't get bite |
would either change the hole or change
the bait When was boy and lsed to
sit by the river fishing and didn't catch
ANYTHING and the men would come down
the stream with sine I'll hide back in
woods aud throw rocks at them to keep
them from catching the fish. Let some
old d. d be fishing in hole and not
catching thing, and then yOn start in
TO seining and he will get to throwing
rocks at yon right away. If there is any
thing despiss il is a dali time. and it's
going TO got lively hero before | get
throach. If any body can say worse
things ahout me .hau can about them,
let HIM pitch right in. Il has got to
BE- sensation or stagnation and stagna-
ton is the last station this side
of damnation. There's the old
sister who u one of your calm, cool
Christians who can't stan any excite
ment. Did you ever see any corpse that
wasn't calm and cool That old lady is
too sensitive to stand any excitement at
church, bat she can go homo Immediately
after the sermon and raise the devil with
the cook about the biscuits.
What hurts tho community is the card
parties. the private dances and the wine
suppers. Here at home the little chill
dren are fixed up for the dram shops. The
worst enemy my home has got is the
home that gives card party. 1t isn't
the gambling hell, for my boys don't 90
there. but it is some of these elegant
homes that toll these children to hell |
am tireG standing down the river pulling
them out am now going mp to where
the old sisters are pushing them IN. We
have got to reform home life in this conn
try or give 1t up to the devil, The best
way to make a man ont Of your boy is to
be a man yourself If any of yOn women
has drunken husband, | can't recon-
mend divorce. but you can make the Old
dog sleep at the barn.
Has Harrsonburg got saloons! Well
saloon is the nastiest place this side Of
hell, You HarrisOnburg people have got
to take anything | say now. Old girl,
don't you turn up your nose at me. Turn
1t up at your saloons. II you can stand
saloons yOu can stand anything | say. To
pretend otherwise Is as bad as a skunk
telling a possum his breath smells bad.
Nv idea of heaven is place where you
can 90 TO be and leave the windows up
and the doors unlocked, and wake up in F,
the morning and fad everything there. If ,
all you church members 90 there az you |
are now you will have to sleep with your
brooches under your pillow.
Mr. Jones closed his talk with a de-
of his home in Cartersyille, say
ing it had been dedicated to God under
the form laid down in the Methodist Dis
cipline just the same as a church, and his
family ne yer engaged in anything there
that they would not think Of engaging in
the house of God. He then pronounced |
the benedictiOn.
At the close Of the service many per-
sons pres, ed forward to grasp his hand,
among the number lady who had come |
seventy-iive miles to hear him pre- lch.