Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1892-04-08

HCW uS6l Ou uc bHOp was u wal
ventilated one, and he caught cold from
the draught that chilled his half-bare
foot.
Arriving at his Office nearly two
hours late, Uncle Allen found that
man who owed him six hundred dol
lars on an outlawed note had called in
for the purpose of paying it, had waited
awhile and gone away.
The man lived in Nebraska and was
on his way back from visit to New
York. He had told the Office boy he
couldn't say when he would be in
again-his train would leave for the
west at 1890.
Uncle Allen looked at his watch. 1t
was 1926 The man was on his way
out of the city by this time. So was
the six hundred dollars.
Then Uncle Allen lost his grip. He
fumed, and stormed, and said things
wholly unfit for publication. When he
went out to lunch at $50, having put it
off an hour later than usual because he
wasn't hungry, he found nothing fit to
eat, and what he did eat disagreed with
him.
He hung about the Office till four
O'clock, and then started home an hour
and half ahead of his regular time.
There was no use in staying at the
Office. Everything was going wrong.
An icicle from the roof of the build
ing, loosened by the thaw, dropped
down as he passed out through the
door and lodged halfway down hiS
back, inside his shirt.
1t was not large icicle, but it was
cold-horribly cold. 1t soon melted,
but was more Objectionable in tho
melting, if possible, than in the frozen
state.
Sore, aching in all his bones, and
purple with wrath, Uncle Allen boarded
the first grip car that came along. 1t
was delayed twenty minutes by some
accident that disabled the grip when
he was within half a mile of his home,
and he got out and walked.
IF l can't get home now without
getting into more darned fool scrapes, "
he muttered, 81 ought to have my
blooming head" :.
"Zipw
A shot from the air-gun of a small
boy hunting sparrows took him in the
corner of the eye.
He managed to reach his house some
how, but he was too early. Nobody
was at home, and he had forgotten his
latch-key.
"They have gone to one of the neigh
bors,, suppose" groaned Uncle Allen,
and he took seat on the doorstep to
wait.
He had his handkerchief tied about
his injured eye, his coat-collar was
turned up to his ears, he shivered all
over, and he was the picture of des-
pair.
Next morning, at his usual hour for
rising, Uncle Allen sat on the edge oil
his bed, refreshed by nights rest,
and meditated on the mishaps of the
previous day in his usual philosophical
way.
81 can see it all now,' he said. "If
hadn't got up late yesterday wouldn't
have been in such hurry to dress.
would not have scalded my fingers.
would have gone downstairs leisurely
and wouldn't have knocked the heel
off my shoe. Then / should not have
had late start down town. wouldn't
have lost my collar button nor broken
my watch. l wouldn't have had that
fall. / would have missed that fire
that delayed the street-car. / would
not have had to wait at the shoe-shop
l wouldn't have caught this cold.
would have reached my Office on time
| would have seen that Nebraska mar
and got that six hundred dollars.
would have gone ont to lunch at the
regular time and had a good meal.
4 would have started home as usual
avoided that lcicle-ugh!-missed the
accident on the street railway, go
home at the usual time, and wouldn''
have got this damaged eye. 1t is alb
surd," continued Uncle Allen, will
emphasis ITO suppose that the mere
fact of my putting on my left shoe frs
had anything TO do with yesterday
trouble"
Then he reached down for his shoes
and carefully put tins right one on first
Detroit Free Press.
~ don't take any stock in that ole
saw: Two heads are better than one,
said the man who had just fitted ou
his two boys with new hats "My
| graeiousl I do said the hatter.-Smith