The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1892-11-23
WHOLE NO. 1O47

Spouse to my invitation? regret to say
that you have come too late to partake
Of my turkey or pie, but you have come
in time to teach me valuable lesson.
After this, when want my friends to
call on me on New Years, I'll ask them
to come on Christmas; if desire to see
them on the Fourth of July, I'll ask
them to visit me on Easter Sunday, and
when l want a gathering ON Thanksgiv-
ing day I'll specify George Washing
tons birthday as the date for the ASSEM-
blage.
sThis is Thursday, ladies and gentle
men. Well, last Friday Mrs. WardwelI
and had a somewhat wholesome repast
prepared for you all, and we waited and
waited for your coming until our hearts
ached with disappointment, but we
should have been patient, see; we were
altogether too hasty If we had only
waited six days longer, you would have
been with us. A trifie like six days
would have caused us no Inconvenience
whatever, but we were SO thoughtless."
Mr.. Wardwell paused for breath, and
the professor took advantage of the lull
to say:
"There is some gross misunderstand-
ing here. You invited us to eat Thanks
giving dinner with you, and here we
are But as for me, did not come to
be insulted."
you are correct III saying that l in
vited you to come on Thanksgiving day.
Then why, may ask, didn't you come
on Thanksgiving day?n
why" responded the professor, in a
dazed way, "this is Thanksgiving day!'
Certainly it is" chorused the doctor,
and the editor, and the musician; .'this
is Thursday, Nov. 90"
mo one questions that" cried Mr..
Wardwell, with bitter irony, "and to-
morrow is Friday, the eth, and / have
excellent reason to believe that the fol-
lowing day will be Saturday, the 2sth--
in fact, ! shouldn't be surprised if Sun
day turned out to be the goth. But how
do you make out that this is Thanks
giving day? Here Is The Gazette, with
the governors proclamation in cold type,
and it reads NOV. 90 Does the govern
or's proclamation count for anything.
or Is it merely vain ceremony--an
empty formality?'
Before any one could speak hollow
| groan was heard. 1t came in all its
intensity from the lips OF the editor of
The Gazette. He was reclining upon a
lounge, breathing with difficulty. The
| doctor rushed to his rescue with case
of surgical instruments, but the editor
waved him away and moaned;
ooh, what a misfortunel A Madison
upon that bilious, blear eyed foreman
of minei To think that all this should
come of allowing him to read proof!
Mr. Wardwell, and all of you, he said,
rising to his feet, I'VE are the victims OF
a scrawny printer whom intrrIsted
with the governors proclamation and
the reading Of the proof. He placed the
figures go where '26' should have been.
Mr.. Wardwell made all the prepare
tons on the goth, and we, who probably
never read the proclamation, arranged
to visit him ON the goth. can only say
that as the editor of The Gazette will
| discharge tho printer without recon-
mendation. and that as man who has
blood in his veins III either punch his
head or perish in the attempt"
When the editors explanation was
concluded there was an err Of silence.
Then Mr.. Wardwell turned to his wife
with CHASTITY smile and said;
'.Rachel, is there anything to eat in
the house?p
Scarcely thing"
"Ladies and gentlemen, will you as
sist me in devouring such remnants of
groceries as Mrs. Wardwell can consoli
date into dinnerf'
"Mr. Wardwell, said the doctor, with
emotion, ga bowl of water, with crn,a
of bread, would be feast in your home
The flow of intellect, sir-the flow Of
reason, as it were, Mr.. Wardwell--tl
intercourse of kindred minds -atone Isl
all deficiencies in the material aw--el
In short, Mr.. Wardwell, anything Will,
| for dinner, and wen be doubly tha,.a
ful today that the slight cloud wli.e.,
ilarkened the horizon as we came &.
has given place to the sunshine Offer
TO the sunshine, Mr.. Wardwell."
|