davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05

The Hon. Carlyle Smith, P. 0. O.,
having been called to the chair OF UNI.
versal knowledge by the trustees OF the
Kinncbunkport university, met his
classes for the first lime Tuesday last.
"lf the young gentlemen have any
questions TO ask" said he, after he
made his bow, Il wish they would be,
gin. 6ud that the best way TO impart
miscellaneous information, of which
universal knowledge is largely made up.
is 10 have students elicit facts by solicit
ing statistics. Were ! TO cndeavor
Systematically 10 tell you all things be-
ginning with the creation of chnos and
coming down by easy stages TO the pres.
cnt day there would be insurmountable
difficulties in II way and VIC should
find the four years allotted to us by the
trustees in which to complete our course
of this university by far too limited for
our rrrpose-in fact. | may sny to you
gentlemen at the outset that you will do
Impressed too quickly. 1t has taken
me twenty eight years 10 learn il all and
II any OF you expect to accomplish the
SAM feat IN less time | should advise
ouch TO lcnve this course aud TO select
agriculture
Two young gentlemen Immediately
left the room and the others remained.
who were the chilly saints. profcssof?"
asked n mild hammered youth, with a
long. rcd mnstachc. who sat i'll the
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
LITTLE BUT COURAGEOUS.
A 1A-Year-Old Girl Kills u Snake with
Twenty Kattles.

Bright-eyed Tilllie Haynes, the IL
year old daughter of afarmer living in
Low Gap, ten miles from Bartlett
Springs, says a correspondent OF the
san Francisco Chronicle, has the twcn-
ty rattles OF one of the biggest rattle
snakes ever seen in this section. She
is more proud of them than was Caesar
OF the spells Of conquered Ganl. Her
pride Is pardonable, for she killed the
reptile a few days ago herself with
only u stout stick for a weapon. Iillic
told ME the story of the battle in her
lr,ive and childlike way.
81 went after the cows across the
M the other evening and was re-
turning up the trail toward home, and
just rs the COWS were passing that
rock" and she pointed toward Il largo
rock u quarter Of. n mile distant, 81
heard q rafting noise and the COWS
got scared at il and ran all the way
home, aud | went to see what it was
and Just as | pccped under some brush
say a big monster off snake spring
down from off the rocks directly over
my head. / lodged as quickly as l
could, but felt the snake brush my
shoulder as he passed over me got
up and started to run but the snake
kept .springing at me as fast as he
could with its forkcd tongue darling
out and its eyes flashing like fire, but
/ clanagcd to get away.
~ looked back aud saw the mean
thing, coiled up in the trail SO | could
not 20 home. called for papa. but
he could not hear me, and | began TO
cry, but ! stopped crying as soon as !
could, as it did not help me, and got q
stick and went up to him to drive him
away. His eyes looked so wicked and
his mouth so cruel l was afraid TO hit
him, and went and cried again until
was almost sick. When ] got through
crying ! made up my mind that l
would Kill that snake if he did not let
me go home. went and struck him
with the stick, but it broke and the
snake fought %furiously. got a stick
and vent back. He looked awfullv
wicked. shut my eyes and came
down with my stick with - wliack and
broke his back and then | gave it to
10 him good until he died. Look"
said Lille, holding up something in
her hand, these are his %rattles. TWEEN
ty of them. and here is II bottle of his
oil. We boiled him, and papl says il
is the largest RATHER ver seen here. He
was 6 feet long and 10 II inches
around his body
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
FIXED FOR ANY EMERGENCY.

Anyone could sec that tle.7 were
"pa. ma aud SON. and thu: :his was
their first ferry-boat trip, says tao New
Orleans Picayune. They walkvd Just
ahead of me going up the steps. Tho
first thing they did was to go all ovcr
the boat, asking questions of every
body. kept them in sight. When
at last they took seats on the rear
guard l sat down near them. BY that
time we were half way across the bay.
Lands! what er stream" exclaimed
ma, looking at the stretch of water be-
tween us and Oakland.
."Wouldn't be much fun eff we up-
SET" remarked son.
"Gracious! Ineverthought NV that"
exclaimed ma, in Il startled voice.
ever hev accidents?" asked pa, look
ing toward me.
Mot often" I said, "and if there
should be they are always there" J
pointed to the life p%reserrcrs that were
hanging above rs.
They all three looked.
"What air they" asked MA curl.
ously.
I explained. The trio arose to get a
nearer view. Pa took M OF the life
preservcrs down.
swell, now" exclaimed ma, show
on airth do you git inter it?"
Pa read the printed directions pasted
on the outside very slowly.
Lets just try her on suggested
ma eagerly. Here, son, you turn
around here"
There was a feeble remonstrance on
the part of the son, to which not the
slightest attention was paid. In a few
minutes he was arrayed in q life pre-.
server, to his parents intense satisfac.
ton.
"Jist Git down another one pa
said ma. Ill see if | can put it on
After II good many struggles she
succeeded in doing 50. "Now. Pa,.
she said. complacen,ly, ".yon try one
Nothing loatl,, pa obeycd, and soor
he stood proudly beside her.
"S'pose we jist keep 'cm on till we
LAM" suggested ma.
This they agreed to do.
NO KNOWN what'll happen" sait
pa. significantly.
And there they SIT until the ferry
landed, totally oblivious to everythin!
but their own satisfaction--so glat
that they were prepared for anything
thatmight happen. AS | left the ferry
. they were helping each other take OF
the Life pTeseryers.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
Natures Monument to Washington.

Among the many monuments to
Washington Is II which every visitor
to the Cape Verde islands will remem-
Der as one OF tho most colossal and
marvellous freaks of natural sculpture
in existence. Along the further side
of the harbor of San Vicente (the prin-
cipal town. rises a bold ridge of dark
gray volcanic rocks, the crest of which
form an exact likeness of our immortal
George, seeming as if lying face up-
ward as if in peaceful sleep. The hero'a
large, bold features, the backward
wave OF the hair, his massive shoul-
ders, and even the frill of the shirt
front are all reproduced on a gigantic
scale with wonderful e%xactness. This
strange monument, sharply outlined
against the deep blue OF the tropical
SKY, is one OF the first objects that
meets ones eye in approaching the
island. Its gigantic proportions, with
the boundless ocean for q background.
forms a portrait wonderfully true to
nature aud overpowering in its mag
niticencc.--St. Lomis Republic.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05

A wnuOlsl, sting.

What some wag terms the business end
of u wasp stings with scarcely more
ncuteness thar the acid eructntions of gas
from the stomach to the gullet that are
characterized as heartburn. Never was
there a case of indigestion wi.iouS this
symptom. Both cause and effect are re.
movable by the fine carminative tonic.
Hostettcr's Stomach Bi,ters, which con
fer regularity and vigor upon ndisorderet
and enfcebied stomach with certainty and
dispatch. Besides uhcctina .iic pranks OF
n rebellious stomach, the Bitters wakes
up n dormant liver, and causes the bow
els to net like ciockworl1. An immense
reputation has also been won by this pro
fessionally approved medicine as n mean
of Graduating and preventing malarinl
trouble. and counteractins u tendency to
ralgin and nervousness are also remedied
Dy It. r.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
NATURES pYE 4
. Crystal Stream BlondiusSy Hal, aa1
Rouge Cheeki.

Had Ponce de Leon, in his search
Tor the fountain of YOUTH wendell
bis way to Little Sandy, Elliott
", at a point nbout nine miles from
here, says q Greenup (Ky.) dispatch,
and plunged beneath the placid wa
ters OF Red Spring, he might not have
q his days prolonged until now, but
most certain it is his color would have
been changed to a bright crimson.
On the Frese Hardin farm the Red
Spring is located, and for years has
been used by the old ladies in that vi
entity to color their carpet rags, by
the young ladies to color their dress
goods and ribbons, and to blondino
their hair. The water of this spring
looks as clear as crystal, and is re-
markedly cold at this season OF the
year. much more SO than the water of
wells in that vicinity.
This water is much improved at tho
approach of Easter Sunday TO color
eggs, and q strange thing about it is
the difference in color upon articles Of
different quality or substance. The
hair it b%londines, colors eggs, ribbons,
and dress goods a crimson red. The
color il permanent in both cotton and
silk goods dyed by the water. The
bonding of tho hair generally lasts
about six weeks.
Soap applied to any articles dyed by
the water but strengthens the intcnsf
ty of the color. People for mil es
around come and carry the water
away. in bottles, jugs, and barrels, to
use in dyeing various articles. A
family by the name of Brand, whose
numbers are quite large, and whose
color has always been a phenomenon,
Is now explained, it is believed by
their always having used this water
for drinking and bathing purposes. So
long have they used it that its quali-
ties seem to have penetrated their sys-
tens, and its effects are seen in their
progeny to the fourth generation.
They have known Of this spring for
years, and for a long time kent its
qualities a secret, but !t was divulgcd
recently by a young man who had
married into the family.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
AN INVASION Of ICE.
Huge Glaciers From Scandinavia Landed
on the British Isles.

Recent investigation of the geologic
into very clear light some of the won
derful scenes of the glacial epoch, says
Pearson's Weekly. Biologists long
thought that there were indications in
the north of England of two successive
~invasions of the ice, between which the
land had been depressed some 1900 or
1900 feet, so that the sea flowed deep
above it.
But later research has led e. F.
Wright and other biologists to the
conclusion that there was no such de-
preston of land in England, and that
the marine shells found high OH the
hills were carried there by the ice as
it advanced across the country in the
great ice age.
From Scandinavia huge glaciers; adj
vancing straight across the shallow
North sea. had reached England at
Marlborough Head. Down from the
highlands of Scotland another resist
less column of glaciers was advancing
to join the first, burying hills and val
,leys deep under the ice. Other gla-
ciers pushed out on all sides from the
mountains of northern Wales.
From southwestern Scotland and
across the Irish sea came q still might
ier stream of ice. That rich and beau,
tiful country, which so delights the
eyes of the traveller to-day and upon
whose bosom rest so many prosperous
towns and cities, lay buried under a
vast frozen sheet.
| Ia, tI,n IN e. IT,
that loved the u had retreatad be-
fore the oncoming ice, while Arctic
species came to take their places, and
SO it happened that the Irish sea was
filled with the shells of different spe-
cies of animals mingled together. AS
the ice advanced it pushed many OF
these shells before it over the land and
left them when it melted away as a
token to future ages of the wonderful
work it had done.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05

| THIS IS NOT A PRIMARY CLASS"
not to receive it. Is there anything
further you young gentleman wish to
know about?'
Was Dido related to Eneasf" asked
a special student who had left Harvard
for his health.
Yes" returned the professor short.
ly, having barely recovered from hia
embarrassment. 'Encas promised
Dido that she should be n sister 10 him,
aud the record shows that 4HIncas always
fulfilled his contracts. Anything more?'
How do you pronounce Popocat.
npctl? asked the captain of the foot.
ball team, noticing that the professors
nervousness mnde long words rather
diflicnlt for him to c%nuncinte.
Volcanic" said the professor, with
n glance at his watch.
Much obliged, Sir" returned the cap.
tain of the football team, but | meant
what do you consider the proper pro.
nunciatioli of tho wotdp"
"Worccslcr's." said the professor.
And what is that qucricd the cap.
tain persislcntly.
Really, my dear SIR" demonstrated
the professor. You should remember
that this is mol Il primary class. You
ought TO have known before entering
college that That is in this instance a
prononn."
AT this the student vino aspircd to be
valcdiclorian laughed. lie aud the
captain of the football team, did not got
ON very well together. and it refreshed
his weary spirit TO hear the athletic
salulatorian taken down n few dozen
pegs. The captain relapscd into a
moody silence which BODIED Ill for the
captain of the Red Bunk university foot.
ball team. against whom the Kinnnbunk.
port players were to contend that after
noon. ana the professor winkel slyly at
the %janitor Of the building. who hap
pcncd to be standing in The doorway at
the moment. He made ut the same time
n memorandum that should remind him
when examination day came around that
the persistent football player was a
good man 10 funk.
II should like TO be Informed, profcs.
sor," said the matter of fnct student
from Camden, from what the term His
Nibbs' was derived"
Il am glad you have asked that ques-
ton returned the professor after q
moments hesitation, which TO the foot.
ball captain was an Indication that tho
! Camden students question had ratified
him, but which from the fourth valedic-
torian's point of view merely showed
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
MIGHT HAVE BEEN ACTING.
But II So, h Had the Talent OF a Bern.
h8rdt.

Occasionally, in the gamnt of famil-
lar notes which are sounded on the
harp of humanity in this big city, there
rings one that is new-some marked
variation on an old theme. Bcggars
are a familiar object. and THE dircc.
appeals which are made to sympathy
are such palpable attempts to play OH
feeling that M becomes hardened to
them.
A novelty Of this kind occurred the
other night rs q gentleman was pass
ing through West Twenty-fourth
street, says the N. Y. World. The
clock was striking midnight. He saw
sitting on the lower steps of n brown
stone house n woman. She was dressed
poorly, she was about 60 and there was
the droop OF WEAKNESS in her spare,
bowed figure. A small paper box and
. few papers were resting on the steps
In front Of her.
The gentleman stopped and asked:
why don't You go home"
"Oh, l just set down to rest myself"
she replied simply.
slave you got a bed to 60 TOP Do
you want any money!" inquired the
"Oh, no! don't want anything ex-
cept to rest q few minutes" she re-
turned in the same weary tono, but
with no air of counting sympathy.
A poor old m who declined the
offer of money is a rather surprising
object, especially when her appearance
speaks of poverty and age and weari-
ness. But if she were independent
enough to wish to avoid aims it seemed
as though she had a right to her few
moments rest on tho hard, hot steps.
So the gentleman passed on.
But her looks, her tone. the hour Of
the night, all worked on the man. He
felt that he ought to give the woman
something. He went back. She was
still dropping on the steps.
II think you had better take this"
he said, putting some money in her
hand.
"Why, what is this!" she exclaimed,
lingering it. "a dollar! You can't
afford this. / never can repay YOU"
But the mar was on his way again.
And as he passed along he thought. II
wonder if that could have been a new
bluff
But it probably wasn't. There are
no Bernhardts sitting around on door
steps at night, and the thing was too
beautifully done if it were acting TO DO
%enything short Of the highest art.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
corner OF the iecture.room. after the
deserters had slamMel Tho door behind

corner OF the iecture.room, after the
desertcrs had slammed tho door behind
them.
The chilly saints" returned the
professor promptly, were three in
number-St. Pankcit,us. ST. Liberatus,
and ST. Servatius. Their names are not
mentioned prominently among the more
fashionable saints OF the holy writ,
whence is derived their chill. 1t was a
cold day when they were left. They
arc celebrated on May IL. 12. and 10. and
are held r%esponsihle bv ngricultnr,sts for
the annual running OF the peach crop by
frost. which,if you have observed close
ly, occnrs at about TINT period Of tho
year. Nex,!'
The professor says next like a bar.
Der" whispered the captain of the foot
ball team. II wonder where the trustees
got him."
Il have heard frequent mention of the
long parliament, professor" snid a
student from Hoboken. who was much
interested in politics. Can you inform
me as to what that was2'
Certainly. SIR" returned the profess
sor. Indeed. that is what I am here
for. The long parliament met on the
3d day of November. 1910, but soon got
into hot water with Cromwell. who
managed to dissolve it in 1858. 1t was.
as the saying goes, rather gone on itself.
and passed resolutions stating that at
state funerals it was the only body worth
considering. 1t abolished everything
but itself, and mado. n square effort to
make itself immortal, but was unsuccess.
full, owing. as l have said, to tho fuct
that 1t got into hot water. which is fatal
to genius. upon which alone Immortality
may rest"
THINK you," observed the student
from Hoboken, who was much interest.
ed in politics. 'That clears away a mis-
apprehension under which l have been
laboring for some time. thought, per-
hnps, the billion dollar congress was tho
long parliament, but l perceive that
there is,a distinction where there would
seem to be no difference"
Your misrepresentation, sir, was
natural. and encourages me to believe
TINT may some day he able to recon-
mend your name TO the faculty for the
honorary degree of PHI. c." said the
professor.
Which s%ignitles?'
"Phunnicus Comlcalicus - otherwise
comical genius. 1t is a degree which
has been repeatedly conferred pom the
Hon. Ariemus Ward. L. William Nyc,
Mark Twaiu, and Ward McAllisler,"
returned Prof. Smith, land you have
given indications that you are yourself
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05

that the professor was n man who
thought twice before he spoke once"
Yes said the professor again. Il
am glad you have asked that question
because it involves a point about which
l nm glad 10 have questions asked"
The footballscaptaip shifted at this,
but the professor ignored tho fact and
went on: ut enables me to impart to
you n bit of information" lie said,
which Inns hitherto escaped the argus
eve of the educated world. His Nlbbs'
il atcrm of Indian manufacture-ihough
not derived from pny Indian word-and
signifies serene highness. 1t was ap-
piled first by them to William Penn, the
title Nibbs being suggested by the
famous Qnaker's surname. prefer
that you should keep silent. however,
on this topic for some weeks. Yet,
since the information l have given you
is entirely ~origira! with myself, and
owing to the fact that my library is
now stored beyond my reach in Culifor.
mia. along with my shaving materials
and n spring o%vercoat, | have been un-
able 10 adduce the evidence l desire TO
establish my theory beyond per advent.
ure."
Aud then, as the professor dismissed
his class. lie sighed heavily.
II really looked as If the football cap
thin was right in his assertion that the
Camden Students question had nearly
ratified the professor of universal, knowl.
edge out of the commodious leather re-.
ccp:nclc he was pleased 10 ecrm his
boots.-John htndrick Bangs, IN Chicago
Times.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
Recciuts,

NSSsipas'
SWEET PorATo RIssoLs--Boll, peel
and mash sweet potatoes. Roll in lit
tic balls. dip in egg, then in bread
crumbs, and fry in hot lard.
HAMBURG S1EAK-Chop round steak
6nc. season with salt aud pepper if you
choose, make into patties, dip into egg
AS you would oysters, and fry brown
In hot butter.
SWEET POTATOES A LA Province
Slice raw sweet potatoes thin n lay
IN n dish with bits OF butter; sprinkle
with salt and pepper, pour over milk
10 cover. Wet bread crumbs in cream,
add a beaten egg, pour over the top.
Set in the oven and bake until done.
OATMEAL RoLLs-To q vegetable dish
Of cold oatmeal add one tablespoon of
melted butter, ono egg, ono pint hot
milk, two teaspoons of baking powder
and flour enough to mould easily, or
they can be dropped from u spoon into
gem irons. Bake in q hot oven, watch
ing carefully.
TOMATO ToAsr-Tal5e one cup toma-
to juice or strained tomato. heat to
boiling, season with sugar, salt and
pepper to taste, q large cupful of
cream and q little thickening; brown
and butter some slices of stale bread,
and place OF q platter in the oven,
when they will remain crisp; pour
sauce over them and servo at once.
PEACH CAKE-Mako q layer calte
with half u pound each Of butter and
sugar; tho creamed volks of five eggs;
six ounces of flour, and two of corn
starch; the whites of the eggs whipped
stiff, tcaspoonful Of vanilla, two
tublcspoonfuls of grape juice and a
~toaspoonful Of baking powder; bake in
three deep jelly tins, remove from the
pans and cool for a few minutes on n
towel. Beat the whites OF two eggs
lightly, adding gradually four table,
%spoonfuls of powdered sugar; when
stiff enough to stand alone, put q layer
of this over one cake, imbea in it q
layer of sliced peaches; place another
cake on top and repeat. Dust the top
cake with sugar.
GRAPE RICE PUDDISG-Stem and wipe
Concord grapes or other rich grapes.
and strcw each layer with rico and SUI
gar. using u greater or less proportion
of rice to suit the taste, Add water to
cover the whole md cook slowly for
IN hour or more. Eat with sweetened
| nron,n -
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
German
Syrup

am a farmer at Edom, Texas. I
have used German Syrup for six
years successfully for Sore Throat,
Coughs, Colds, Hoarseness, Painsin
Chest and Lungs and Spitting-up of
Blood. have tried many kinds of
Cough Syrups in my time, but let
me say to anyone wanting such a
medicine-German Syrupistlle best.
We are subject to so many sudden
changes from Gold to hot, damp
weather here, but i'll families where
German Syrup is used there is little
trouble from colds. John F.Jones,0
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1892-11-05
The Glover.

L LrL L - n- H
Come sing OF the lily and daisy and rose,
And the pansies and pinks that the summer
time throws
IN tho green. grassy lap OF tie medder that
BlInkiI up at the skies through the sunshipy
days;
Rut what Ia the lily and all Of the rest
OF tile flowers TO Il man with q heart in his
That has dipped Irimrnin' full of the honey
or the sweet clover blossoms his Doyhood
knew
] never set heyey on n clover field now,
Or fool arounIa stable, or climb In the NOV,
But my childhood comes back just us cleai
and as plain
As the smell OF the clover I'm sninin' again;
And ] wander nwayin a barefooted dream.
Where tangled my toes in the blossoms that
With The dew of the dawn of the morning OF
Ere it wept DER tho groves that i am weeping
above.
And SO j love clover--it seems like a part
Of the sacredest sorrows and Joys OF my heart
And wherever 1t blossoms, o, there let ne bow
And thank the good Lord rs I'm tl,nnkin' him
nOw:
And pray to him still for the strength when ]
To go out in the clover and tell 1t goolby,
And lovingly nestle my face in its bloom
While my eoul slips away on a breath of per.
tune.
james Whitcomb Riley.