The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-01-28
THE HOTEL CLERK.
HIS Trials and TribulatiOns With the CranKs
ana Kirkers who Tr'vci.

dia and animated railroad guide, aud II ne
is NOT we'll IN ON all the topics of the day,
he is put down as a chump. ne must
drrsss like prince and smile Ike coy
maiden. and in addition to TINS ne must
be a Chesterfield in manners. lie occa-
sionallv throws off the mask and
becomes a natural citizen again and
when he does, it iswhen reporter
calls around when he is not busy. The
hotel clerk and the reporter are cousins;
thew become very thick and confidential
and the former is the only man the clerk
will unboosom himself TO; the only man OF
whom he makes n confident for in the re-
norter he finds willing listener to his sor-
rows and a sympathetic and consollng
friend.
Last night, in one of the leading hotels,
when the footsteps of the last drummer
who went to surrender TO the goddeS
Morpheus. had died away in the upper
fight of stairs, the hotel clerk drew re-
lieving sigh, leaned over the Office counter
and began pouring his sorrows, and they
were many into the ear of the EAGLE man.
Don't you know" said he, that this is
a terrible life to live 1t viii make man
gray QulckeF gudu any O1iiCl OSSaE'''"'"'
why is that"
81 don't hardly know why it is, but for
some reason there is more exacted from
the hotel clerk than any other man. we
are human and yet people demand that
we be what we Naturally are not. We
are expected to be polite, patient, gentle,
sweet, sympathetic, easily interested and
good listeners by every Tom, Dick and
Harry that comes along. a thousand
absurd questions are asked of US every
day and night. and we must answer them
with patronizing smile when In reality
we feel in our heart that we would like to
hit the questioner over the head with
club. There are moro cranks seen
at hotel than any where
else and as they pay for the privilege of
stopping at the house they think they
have perfect right to bore the clerk to
death.
Kickers are also to be seen in great num-
bers and varieties at at hotel; more than
any where else and between the crank and
the kicker the hotel clerk lives the life OF
dog. We are good judges of human MAJ
ture however, and when they show I'D we
spot them. Many amusing incidents
come under our observation which lends
spice to our lives, however, and relieves
the monotony.
Some people, particularly among the
country people, do not seem to understand
that it is not the custom with hotels on
the American plan to let rooms only. We
expect them to take their meals also. The
man from the country comes to town and
takes his meals az the lunch counter. He
comes to the hotel in the evening and you
give him room. Next morning he comes
down by sun up as is his
custom. He wants to pay for his bed; says
he won't have time for breakfast, as he
must take the train. You ask, What
trains" and find that he has an hour or
more, which is ample time for any one to
eat. He says. "Oh, no." be is not feeling
very we'll and doesn't care to eat. He
pays his bill and, if you watch him, he
goes to the nearest lunch counter and fills
himself up on ham sandwiches and stale
coffe. But if you tell him he will have to
pay for breakfast just the same, whether
he eats it or not, he will go into the dining
room and order sumptuous breakfast
which he proceeds to devour. as though he
wanted tc get his moneys worth" He
forgets that he is mot feeling we'll"
The most hateful man who comes to the
hotel is the ''smart" man. When he
enters the house he PUSHES to the register,
takes il out of somebody else's hand. per-
haps records his name and with the air of
a duke asks for the best room: HE'S over
bearing in his demeanor and nine times
out of ten he gets the worst room in the
house, while the polite, gentlemanly man
who comes in after him gets the hest.
And then there is the positive man, who
is positive he left his umbrella or coat OR
KEY at the Office. But when you make "A
search for it you find that he has left it in
his room, or up town or in his pocket. |
remember only few days ago promi-
nent politician came rushing to the office
and wanted his Overcoat. He had only Il
few minutes to catch his train. His coat
was nowhere to be found. 1t must be
stolen. He was positive he had left it on
the counter. He would miss his train
and fail TO make an important business
engagement He knew he could not have
left it any where else, for he had not been
out of the house siuce before supper,
when he laid his coat on the counter be-
fore going in the dining room. But while
he was saying all this a boy came running
in with an oyercoat which he said man
had left in certain Joint" across the
street. 1t proved TO be the stoien(?J coat
Then there is the superstitious crank
He Is to be found principally among
theatrical people. They would leave the
house before they would take room the
number of which has "13" in 1t. And
speaking Of theatrical people, they are the
hardest people to get along with; their
wants are never supplied. They want ice
water: they want hot water; they
want beer; they want whisky: they
want champagne. or stout or manitou;
they want cigars; they want cigaretts;
they want chewing gum; they want post
age stamps, and all this must be charged
20 their BILL which requires great deal
of work And then they never retire until
two or three in the morning. They keep
everybody awake on the same floor with
them for they are all the time shining or
fussinC or making racket of some kind
or other.
Then there are the inquisitive cranks-
They want to know when the male comes
in and when the mail goes out, when the
trains 30 west and when they go east, and
a thousand and one other questions which
the clerk must answer with a smile, or
take chances OF being reported 10 the
manager. The mail crank is also great
nuisance. Every time he passes the office
be asks if any mail has come for
him, invariably states that he IS
expecting an important letter and swears
brcause he don't get it. These are the
fellows that ha-IllY ever get letter