St. Landry democrat., 1892-02-13

WCnuOlln-Bcau-knOtS nave AWAY
been fashionable.
And she thought she heard the dull
thud Of the setting SUM-, as the young
man showed no signs of intelligence
THE jewelers. Circular.
ONE LOAD HE CARRIED ALONE.
Mrs. McBride--George, dear, when we
were married, only year ago, you said
| should help you to carry your burdens.
McBride-Yes, love.
Mrs. McBride-Then why didn't you
let me help you yesterday:
NcBride--I don't understand you,
love.
Mrs. McBride-Why, papa says he
saw you with a heavy load on, and you
never let me help you with it.-lEpoch.
THE SAFER WAY.
"What has become of Smart?"
Nobody knows. He robbed bank
and disappeared.
Gracious! Who would ever have
thought that man would turn BURGLAR
ooh, he didn't turn burglar. He
robbed the bank from the inside. He
was prcSlueAL OIL IL. - NEW AoAh AAoo~'
TERMS OF BILLS.
Retail Jeweler-How much time will
you allow me on this bill?
Manrfacturer-Three months.
Retail Jeweler (soliloquizing)-He says
three, he means six, he'll let it go nine,
I'll pay it in year. (alou,D All right
Jewellers Circular.
RELIEF FOR HIS MIND.
Carolyn Bitters-I suppose, Mr..
Sleighbells, that you are in thorough
sympathy with the spirit of the Christ
mas holiday?
Charles j. Sleighbells--Oh, yes, in
deed, Miss Bitters; do enjoy Christmas.
Carolyn Bitters-What, in your mind
is the chief charm of the day?
Charles j. Sleighbells-That [ can
secure day off from the office without
having to tell my employer that another
of my family is dead.
A COMMON EXPRESSION.
"Well, | never" exclai med Mrs.
Snaggs
you never WHAT" asked her hus-
band.
"Here's a piece in the paper that says
it is possible to become intoxicated on
raretied air Did you ever hear of such
a thing:'
'Of course | have. The expression
'air-tight obtained it's origin from just
that fact. - [Pittsburg Chronicle.
ONE WAY TO ASK IT.
Mr.. BiIlings-Er-NIiss Cooings-
Clara have question would like to
ask you.
Miss Cooings-We
Mr. Billings you think it would
be a good idea if--er-this were the last
Christmas Eve that we come home SIM
gIc?- Puck
NUMSKULL, INDEED.
ole knows nothing, you say?'
Absolutely nothing. Why, man, he
has such Il poverty of mental resources
that when friend has a cold he cannot
give him sure cure for it.
HANDICAPPED.
Tom De NVitt-Vassar cannot take the
same rank among the colleges as Yale or
Harvard
Kitty Winslow-Why not?
Tom De Witt-Well, for one thing,
she never publishes in the newspapers
the name of her oldest living graduate.-
Kate Fields Washington.
THAT WAS ALL.
Benevolent Old Gentleman (after dis
pensing Christmas-eve charity to a beg
gar}-I give this because [ don't think
You'll spend it at the nearest grog shop.
You haven't the appearances OF a drink
! ing man.
Beggar-Youre right, sir, I'm 40
drunkard; I'm a burglar in hard luck
HIS GREAT NEED.
Bearded Stranger-Madam, you may
! not recognize me, but year, ago, when
but little child, lived next door, and
| one day in my childish romps lost d
button from my coat; had no mother, as
YOU know, and shall | ever forget,
madam, that you took me in and sewed
/ another button on for me. All, madam
| brushing away q tear, through all these
! wears have treasured that little button
| as sacred relic, and here it is.
Kind Lady-Well, my good man,
what can | do for you now?
Bearded Stra1ger-All ] need is an
other coat = Clothier and Furnisher.
; FOR TIE DUST.
| Twas for her dust he married,
| SO he submits with grace
! And neither blinks nor sneezes when
She throws it in his face.
NOT CLOUD" ENOUGH.
"Now isn't that perfect picture of
the baby?" asked Mrs. Noopop, display
ing new cabinet photograph.
Il d MT think it is replied Noopop,
II don't hear a sound - Harper's
| Bazaar.
! SCIENTIFIC FORMULA.
Jack-lt's pretty hard to guess a
| girls age correctly.
Toni can tell you a good way to
! find it out.
Jack-How?
Tom-Ask her, and then add one-third.
= Bazaar.
COLOR BLIND.
| Bess-George must be getting color
! blind.
Jess-What makes you think SO?
Bess-He pointed out an acquaintance
J with very red nose, this morning, and
| said he was a greenhorn.- New York
Herald.