Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1892-09-03
Written for The Evening star
BROWN As A PUNCrUAroR.
What Came OF Trying New Rapid
Method Of Learning the Rules.


Brown. my boy. there's nothing like il. It's
better than French in six weeks because YOU
can work ii into yourself in a month. 80 that
you can hardly say or think anything without,
following The rules Take this beautiful selec-
ton, which recalls our school bow DAYS. The
boy stood on the burning deck, comma. whence
all but he had fed, scmicolon; the fame. tina,
LIT the battles wreck comma, shone round him
DER the dead, period That's grand; that's in
spring. You have all the beauty and all the
sentiment, and, besides. YOU punctua,e ss Won
go along, and SO mingle the artistic and the use
Brown was quite taken with this new p,an for
learning bow TO punctuate properly. He had
often felt ikS brother 70 the fellow who wrote
oook without any punctuation whatever
simply adding IN an appendix a complete lis, OF
, punctuation marks, from which the reader
conld select and punciuate as much or as little
as he pleased
The hrst lesson went off swimminglv Brown
SO fell into the spirit OF il that a. he walked up
the street afterward he found himself solilo-
quizing: Il wonder, comma, il had better get
that parego-ic. comma. for the baby, comma.
before so houe, period. Perhaps. comma
then he slipped up on a piece Of banana skin
and went down fiat with two exclamation points
and enough stars TO equip several issues Of a
blanket sheet" For the first time in his life
he felt like using the dash and also
making a dash for the miscreant who
threw that murderous peel there. He
lay on the pavement long enough 70
| denote several Photographs then got up with
difficulty and limped down the street But
/ the magic power of that first lesson still
upon him, and meeting a newsboy he began.
| well. comma. my boy. comma. have YOU TIE
STAR, Interrogation point The sharp-eyed
little rascal stared at him curiously, and then
replied. "Com-ah? Come of. When did yer
! scape from tn sylum?"
After punctaating the town generally during
the next two hours and getting a crowd Of small
/ boys at his heels. whom he escaped by seeking
! refuge in an empty school buildings place
/ the average boy never enters il he can help it
/ he took home 10 his dear family a somewhat
battered but still large supply of punctuation.
At am. his wife nudged him. John. John.
/ there are burglars in the house, What-ah;
| Burglars, burglars" Now wide awake he
sprang to the floor. exclaiming: Dearest
! comma. will defend you. comma. even with my
/ heart blood. comma. Il necessary. eNclamn ton
point. He then threw open the chamber door
| right in the face of two masked burglars who
held pistol, To his breast and demanded: Your
/ money OF your life WIKI one whirl Of his
strong right arm he dashed the pistols aside.
! two bullets perforating the hall window ins toad
b o. his head. as was intended. With two more
/ whi'ls of that trUsty arm he sent the burglars.
/ as surely and swiftly as one sentence follows
/ another IL the mouth Of a tvc-hundred-a-min-
ute speaker. out through the window. after the
/ bullets, remarking: There. comma. now,
comma. YOU can hunt your bullets a; your leis-
use. period. Call again. ma, and I'll show
! YOU how to punctuate better comma but YOU
can pat period to my existence just vet,
| period.
Then. rushing back TO his wife. he exclaimed.
Joy of my life. exclamation point. light OF my
ewes, more exclamation points. come TO nv
arms. period They fell. weeping. upon each
others necks. Stars and dashes come in here,
denoting domestic scene too sacred for the
eyes ana ears Of the vulgar public. c. A. NJ.