Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1892-04-21
For the Ellsworth American
PtOlemy Eogg's Argument IN Peleg But
tons Store.

RAMS Hons Porxr. Feb. 2oth, ls92.
E3u"r imtrican
Ptolrmy Fogg j. a philosopher When
he gets his best eye on subject il gener-
ally goes through 1t. Eve found that out.
The other day he went up to Oldacre vii
la-e aud settled question that has puz-
zled many OF the great minds of this cen
tury. II was In Peleg Buttons store. A
Knot OF wise men, such a. love to cougre-
gate around a warm store stove these win
ter days, were discussing the subject of the
church and religion. The usefulness Of
the church was questioned. These oracles
We're seated on nail kegs and benches and
some were stretched out on the counter
They were all smoking and each was
dressed in the full regslia of male gossip
s. sharp knife and a pine stick. They
had put their great minds together 10 rnd
q substitute for the church The shay
ing- were falling softly as snowhakes
when Ptolemy Fogg entered. The discus
sion was waxing hot. Adolphus Pufier
was making point on his stick and ar
gumeut when Lapstreak Mulet spied Fogg
in their midst, and interrupting Pufier he
said Here's Squire Fogg from Rams
Horn Point. Id like to hear his opinion.
All eyes were turned on Ptolemy. Mulet
acting as spokesman. said; MIR. Fogg,
we are trying 10 find out why no more
people 90 10 church. Also If something
better than the church can take it, place.
Thus appealed 10 Ptolemy Fogg sent a
shot from hi> upper eye, over the bridge
of MS nose. and asked Have We no
specifications in yer argument? Cause
there's a mighty lot stay at home with the
grip
20, no, Bro. Fogg," broke in Abner
Wade, we mean the chronic stay at homes
those that never go to meeting and never
want TO-"
Now don't you think" Clipped in
Theodore Thresdbare, that the fault
service, the mechanical character, the poy-
erty and in>iguiicsnce of the sermons, the
unnaturalness of the doctrines preached
on the authority of an old book that is
only the history Of the Jews? What do
YOU or | care about thems | think if the
preacher would talk about scientific sub
jects he'd get many more hearers, in fact
he'd crowd his house. Let him tell US
about chemistry, geology. philanthropy,
etc, etc. tell you that | would be glad
to 20 TO meeting then; but the Jews-bah
What do | care for them: What do you
think friend Foge:'
Ptolemy Fogg placed his well eye SC
that it could look on the floor, then purs
ing his lips he said slowly: well, p'rhap.
yer right. Rather think ye ar. Let's see
Ye want valid excuse for stayin' homt
from church, a sort O. refuge o lies.
guess we've made yer application tu the
right person. | think | can help We SC
that ye'll feel comfortable in yer retreat
| can make yer refuge O. lies a kind 0
summer watering place fer ye. Now
frankly with tn subject. Let's study ef
fects. I'm not learned like Mr.. Thread
bare, my wisdom 'cometh by observa
ton. am told that one hundred thous
and drunkards go down to death every
wear in this land o. the free and home 0
h brave. I've known a few who have
been saved by tn preachin' O. tn gospil
Dut the mass O. 'em never hear tn gospel
they don't like tn hear about tn Jews-its
an uninteresting subject to 'em. And sc
they go trampin' on tn drunkard's grave
followed by terrible task master, who
lashes 'em with tn whip O. appetite. True
now and then sweet word O gospil truth
is waited to 'em, but they heed it not. On
on. they go. staggerIn with maudlin laugh
ploated and blear-eyed, cursing theiI
friends, beatin' their wives, starvin' theiI
children and blasphemin' their God. TheiI
joy is tn JOY O. beasts. Their song is ths
melody o. madness. They boast that theiI
money shan't help pay tn lazy preachers
o, what pity, Bro. Threadbare. that "
don't feel called to go and lecture on geol
ogy to these sperets in prison. P'rhap'
ye'd save 'em. Go, ye messenger O. science
to a people that's peeled Go ye swift
footed heralds O. learnin' and pile right il
their path heaps of geologies and chemis
tries and PHILOSOPHERS and sociologies
stop their downward career! Now elm
upon the hull pile and raise yer glad voices
in triumph on high No doubt but ye cal
do more than tn angel with . fiamin
sword. There's nothin' like briDgin' ou
tithes into tn store-house. But let's g
on. Let's study effects. One night las
week Elder Rspemhard was called up tt
90 and see that profiigate son O Ansol
pitts6eld. He's goin' tn die. He's got th
consumption. He's sacridce on tn un
,olv altar O. his own dissolute habits. He'