The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-10-13
THE KNOWING CHILD
He Takes His Parents to Coney 1shtnd and
Asks Questions.

They were going to Coney Isl and to
| spend the day, the fond father, tbs,
doting mother and the knowing child.
They got on the train at the union
depot and the knowing child Begin os9-
erations Immediately.
''Mammaw
"Well, darling?"
Cant l sit on the outside Of the
seat?"
"No, dear, you might fall out and
hurt yourself"
But want to, mamma won't. fall
out
NO. darling, you must do as mamma
says"
pause of minute. then taking his
! fond fathers whiskers in his fists, he
asked:
Papa, can't sit on,t the outside Il the
/ seat?"
Mamma said you couldn't"
''Oh, but you'll let me, won't you.
papa?" A vigorous pull at papa's 'Hhis-
kers and he capitulated. The boy was
placed on the edge of the seat, an the
| fond parents spent the next half hour
! in keeping him from falling from his
perilous position. AS the train sped
along the knowing nuisance began
taking observations in the car. Il very
stout woman in the next seat flst at
tracted his attention and he COM
menced:
Mamma, amt that lady awful fato''
''Sh-h; don't speak so loud"
''Well, she is fat, isn't she?"
"Yes, dear; look at the pretty birds
flying over there"
Mammal"
"Well, sweetie?'
"What makes fat people fat7"
"It comes natural to some folks to be
stout, dear; don't ask such foolish ques-
tons
''Golly! she's awful fat, though.
How much do you think she weighs,
mammal"
81 don't know. Keep quiet now,
dear, the lady will hear you, and she
won't like it."
Wont like what? to be fate"
''No, she won't like to hear you talk
ing about her."
'Well, she has no business bein' 80
fat then"
Another pause, during which the
knowing" kid made several attempts
to stand upon the back of the seat,
much to his parents alarm. Finally
he settled down and started talking
once more.
Mammal
'.Well, darling, what is it?''
"Look at the man that's with the fat
lady; isn't he thin?"
''Sh-hw
els he her husband. mammal"
81 guess SO, darling. There, do be
quiet!'
what makes his nose so red, NAM
MAJ"
Its sunburnt, dear, guess. Don't
speak so loud"
''He's taken off his hat, mamma.
What funny little head he HAS, no
hair on it. Oh, mamma, there's mos
quito on it. Let me whack it,"
No, dear, the man can whack his
own mosquitoes without any assist
ance."
''He don't know it's there, mamma.
Oh, pshaw. it's gone away. Look at
the cute little red spot on top of his
head where the mosquito was. Isn't it
funny?''
That will do, darling: look at,the
pretty cows over in the field"
After inspecting the cows the nuisance
looked around and, noticing young
couple in the seat behind, nudged his
mother and said:
No hot hah ind
to wash his face; his mamma ought to
look after him."
The doting mother gave a surrepti-
tious glance backward and replied:
That's his mustache. dear
SIS it? Amt it httle?" Then. kneel-
ing upon the seat and looking square at
the poor young man, the knowing
one began counting:
Zone, two, three, four, FIVE, six, sew
en-. Say, mamma
swell. darling?"
Hes only got seven hairs on one side |
of his nose. Why doesn't he"
A sudden, quick movement of the |
train as it swung round curve landed |
the kid in his mothers lap, and silence |
reigned for brief space. He was at it |
again before long, however.
Mammal
''Well, my pet?"
What does 'Tootsy Wootsy' mean?"
"Why do you ask, dear?'
"Cause that man with the mustache |
in the next seat called the girl that's |
next to him 'Tootsy Wootsy' just now"
''Sh-h! don't be SO observart.
Mammal
''What is it, loye?'
"Will have little mustache when |
I'm big? An will l take a girl to Coney |
Island an call here ''tootsy wootsy'?"
Don't be such a goose, dear; wait
till you grow up?"
Mammal"
''Well, dearie?"
''What is that man behind us holding
the girls hand for? Is he afraid she'll
fall off the train?"
81 suppose so. Do be quiet, will you?'
He did remain quiet after this, and
in a few minutes laid his head in his
mothers lap. and as he went TO sleep
the fond pare nts, the fat woman and
her red nosed little husband and the
loving "Tootsv Wootsy' couple in the
seat behind breathed great large,
heartfelt sigh OF intense relief.-Brook-
lyn Eagle.
Getting OF Cheap.