The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1892-01-19
ARTOF MAKING ENEMIES
We All Have Some, But
Should be Careful Not
to antagonize the /
Youngsters. los
USE SUGAR PLUMSI INSTEAD
WOman's Work of the Exposition
"A Good Word for the
Spendthrift.

SOlOl 1888 hOOOdlCS. ulOsI Which az
not akin to the jelly fish tribe, have enc
mics. How mani of them have been at
the pains to make a really careful selec-
ton of these necessities of q quarrelsome
civilization?
A little more thought, a little more
care, might make ones enemies a posi-
tive pleasure instead of a nuisance, but
thai thought n care are seldom or
never exercised. If they were we should
not witness perpetually mistakes such as
really jar upon the sensible mind. why
does not some competent person with a
long a varied experience of enemies come
forward and give us the benefit of his
knowledge on the subject. Nc sensible
thinking person, whether male or female.
young or old, should make an enemy of n
butcher boy. A butcher boy is the most
inventive and resourceful of boys. He is
always cheerful and always cheeky.
He can whistle in such a way as to be
heard for man shops, and his vindictive
and contemptuous ''YapP' is more pene-
trating than the voice of a file. He is
also an adept at bespattering with mud
those who have offended him. He can
drive his cartful of legs of mutton and
| s~irloins of beef. within an incl of the
liquid street, and yet look all the
the world like an unconscious cherub In
a blue blouse. He is terribly uuforgiv-
ing, too, and is apt to wreak his ven
geance with the tough STEAK and chops
he leaves so innocently at your door.
Therefore in choosing your enemies
avoid selecting your butcher boy. But
do not, ON the other hand, fly into the op-
posite extreme and make choice of our
next-door elderly vegetarian as your
sworn and most particular foe. A vege-
tartan of mature age mas often a biting
,an~,o npccih1r booaIIco no hoo sn 1itt1o
to bite with his teeth. Although he eats
no meat, yet he does not always lay in u
a great store OF the milk of human kind
ness. and he can frequently be very sar-
castle as he sits greedily over the dis
guised cabbages and assembling pota-
toes that form his daily meal.
When a vegetarian turns nasty" his
rancor is apt 10 partake of the nature OF
the green aud g~uileful crab. He is as
hard to put up with as an early pea, his
insults are as difficult 10 swallow as an
ill-cooked turnip. The penetrating onion
is not a greater adept at drawing tears
from the eyes than he, and even a too
previously plucked tomato capuot vie
with him in acidity. Keep him your
friend. A very youthful child Of veno-
nous temperament and ObservanG eye is
a foe calculated to appal the stoutest
heart.
The poet Wordsworth remarks some
where that children came from heaven
TRAILING clouds of glory"
This may be solemn truth or merely
poetic license. but certain it is that they
possess an unequalled power OF enyeloD-
ing those whom they do not love in trail
ing clouds of shame. An infant of four
can make an archbishop regret his birth
or put a Pope in confusion
A toddler in rose colored ribbons.
decked out in the voluminous sausage
curls that so majesticallY adorn the small
round head of infantine innocence, can
with a word dye the furrowed cheek of
the hero of a hundred fights with a burn
ing scarlet, or fill the kindly heart of the
famous philanthropist with a Herodlike
lust for numerous murder.
A babe has you at a disadvantage, for
your smartest retort falls DOT a pink ear
deafer than the average adder, and your
rapier sharp repartee glances from the
muslin clad hide of nurses darling or
mothers ''tootsy wootsy" without infllct-
ing the smallest puncture.
Whatever indiscreet thing you may do
during the voyage Of life, never be SO
mad as to rouse the animositv of "sweet,
sinless childhood" Fly in the face of
prime ministers. ride %roughshod over tn e
rendered susceptibllities of councillors,
defy Mrs. Grundy, try to get the last
word with a laxative shrew. dc what
wild things you list, but as you value
your peace of mind always defer to chill
dren under the age of eight. Be kind to
them. Offer them the frequent sugar
plum and you will have your reward.
Wearing Vanity.
The vanity of human nature is striking
ly illustrated by the worn and dilapidat-
ed condition of the inner part of the
pavement at Thirteenth ana Chestnut
streets, which has been tripped over by
all the ladies and stumped over by all the
men in preference to the outer portion of
the highway, simply because a projecting
bulwark of a building there located con
taius a splendid full length mirror. which
can only be utilized by the method of side
tracking. The mirror strikes the pedes.
TRANS gaze at Thirteenth street. Instantly
the pedestrian, whether male or female
comely or otherwise, old or young, steers
into the glass adlus and Tor Il prlef
space enjoys the supreme happiness OF be
holding oneself as others see one. The
ladies AXE the inner track with all the
abandon of their kind; they make NO
bones about the matte r, caring not at all
whether their designs be suspected. But
the men yield to the charm with inward
uualms: their Sheepish visage the while
betokening that they fear unfavorable
from spectators. while
the pavement is fast wearing away, and
will soon require renovation. -Phttddet-
phia Record.
A Word for the Spendthrift.
think upon the whole | rather like
extravaganza people. If l had to take my
choice between a person who spen,
money lavishly or one who saved it W
~strenuousiy for a possible rainy day
with no happy medium between the t wo,
| would liuk arm with the ~spendthrlf'
and go off on a happy-go-lucky lark
Folk who are always looking out for s
fortuna that may never come and layins
by nest eggs for occasions that ma.
never materialize sre stupid folk TO hav'
around. They are like dictionaries as
basis of reading; they no doubt embrace
the possibilities of all the wit and wisdom
in the world, but | will take my alphabe
in more versatile and attractive form.
| would not for a moment decry pru
deuce or run dow caution, but too mucl
of either Of these most excellent attrih
utes in any individual makeup woul b
like n pudding made entirely of dough
without plums or sweetening. A suit
able regard for tomorrow is a eXcellen
thing to cultivate, and Il reckless exper
ditul e of money for the mere qualification
of the appetite cannot lie too severely Ger
sured; but there are grades of folly, an
the generous, free aud easy, live us you &
fellow may be allied i'll a certain measur
to a fool, but he is only fifth or siXt
cousin, and l would rather hold that re
lationship Tran maintain the am XII
ship with a prig.
Next lime you have a present 10 max
or a birthday 10 remember, don't pinch
.o,,1 fNr tho " ifa vOu 1--we the 6nuuUtf