The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-04-27
N5y
A SIMPLE TALE.
But 1t Wasn't So Simple When He Told
His Wife,

But 1t WASN'T so simple when He TOl(
His Wife.
If there is one thing more than anothel
calculated TO throw man into a gnash
ing-of-the-teeth and tearing-ot the hail
condition, it is his attempt to give the wife
of his bosom an account of some ordinary
affair." to which she listens after this fash
ion:
He-Oh, my dear, must tell you some
thing Jack Burroughs told me today
while
She-Where did you see Jack Bur.
roughsS
He-Oh, we went to luncheon together,
and
She-How did you happen to go out to
luncheon together?
He-'Well, we didn't exactly go out to-
gether. l met Jack at the restaurant,
and
She-What restaurant?
He-Ca5loway's. and Jack
She-IIow did you happen to go to Gallo
ways? thought you always lunched at
Diapers?
He-I nearly always do, but just hap
pened to drop into Calloway's today, along
with Jack, and
She-Does he always lunch at Gallo
ways?
Helm sure, my dear "a little sharply,
that I don't know if he does or not. 1t
makes no earthly difference if
She-Oh, of course not. Chastity just
wondered if he did, that's all Go on with
your story.
He-Well, while we were eating our soup,
Jack
She-What kind Of soup?
He-Oxtail Jack said that
She-I thought you dishlled oxtail soup?
Newell, l don't care much about it,
but
She-How did you happen to order it If
gou didn't care for it?
He-Because l did. Severely But the
soup has nothing to do with the story.
She-Oh, of course not. On grieved
tone.) | never said that it did. don't
see why you should get cross over simple
question. Go on.
He-Well, while we were eating our
soup, Lawrence Hildreth and his wife
rame in, and
She-They did?
He-I have just said so.
She-Well, you needn't be so cross
about il.
He-They came in, and
Shells she pretty?
He-Pretty enough. Jack bowed and
She-Does he know thems
He-Well, now, do you suppose he would
have bowed if hehadD't known them? ]
declare If /
She-How was she dressed? "'-
He-How should / know? | never looked
at her dress What l was going to tell
you was that
She-Did they sit near you?
Ee-Yes, at the next table. And while
they were ordering Jack said that they
. She-Couldn't they hear him?
He-Do you suppose (fiercely) that Jack
would have no more sense than to let them
hear him talking about them. Look here,
now
She-James, if you can't tell a simple
little incident without getting into pas
sion you'd better keep it to yourself What
did Jack say?
He-He said that Mrs Hildreth's father
was opposed to the match, and
She-How did he know that?
He-Great Csesarl There you go againl
She-James, will you please remember
Ehat it is your wife to whom you are speak
ing, sir?
He-No other woman could drive me
rtNlIS, uIStTdCCSut SLdDy1 dSAllS SHY QuGS-
hons about
She-Jamesl
He-Every time try to tell you anything
Fou begin. and you
She-James (risipg with dignity and say
Ing stifly), l do not propose listening to any
such insulting remarks, and
He-You never listen to anything. That's
the trouble. If
She-When ask you a simple question
Held say ''simple!" You've asked me
a million simple questions in the last
half hour, just because was going to tell
you that Jack Burroughs said that
She-I do not wish TO know what Mr.
Jack Burroughs said, if you cannot tell it
respectfully. l shall have my dinner sent
80 my room, since it is so painful for you to
eat with an idiot (Retires scornfully,
while be narrowly escapes an attack of
Bpoplexy. )-London Tit-Bits.