Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1892-09-02
Mr.. AND MRS. eowsER.
The Head of the Family Tries to Pus vi
Some Screen Doors-The Result.

ne intended 20 10 with IT,
"It's for screen doors for the front doors, ,
he replied.
carpenter coming up to make themS,
Haven't engaged any"
"Mr, Bowser, you are not going to trJ
and make them yourselfgn
"There won't be any trying about IT,
shall proceed to make and hang them.n
'I'm afraid you can't do it. It's mic,
piece of joiner work to make screen door
especially one for the front of the house. i
II am we'll aware" he said as he stroked
his chin in a complacent way. Haven't
got about $50 worth of toolss Don'tI know
how to handle themf"
81 wish you had given your order al
the shop, as other folks do"
"I'll be hanged If Ipay any IS for pair
of doors when can make 'em for $Sl You
are always dead set against anything
undertaken
"Mr. Bowser you can't make a screen
door. You can't hang one. Don't blame
me when the failure comes."
"Blame you'll Are you getting crazyi II
those doors are not success you won't
hear word of fault from me-not d peep.
was thinking of ordering them, but being
you have stuck your nose up so high III
make 'em now just to show you that can
do itp'
And next morning he put on an old suit
and went ont to the barn and before 0
o'clock he had measured four different
times for those doors
1t wasn't long before saw him sneaking
around to the front with one of the pieces.
watched him as be tried it and it was all
Of twelve inches short. Mr. Bowser
scratched his ear, growled like bear and
looked as foolish as boy caught in har-
vest apple tree. Ten minutes later he was
at the telephone ordering more stuff
"Were they too shorts" | asked as he
hung up the trumpet.
"N-no, but thought I'd get heavier
stuff" he mumbled as he shot out doors.
The stuff came up after dinner, and it
was about 5 o'clock in the afternoon when
he put one of the frames together and stood
it up in the door. | went out, and as he
began to smile with satisfaction / said:
"Mr. Bowser, that door is squeegawed." !"
"Squeegawedp Squeegaweds What does
that stand for in the back countiesp"
"Your door is wider at the bottom than
at the top"
GILL y DSI
"But your own eyes will convince you.
There's an inch differencer'
"Neverl I'll bet you million dollars
there isn't hairs breadthr'
ran for my tapeline and soon proved
that the difference was over an inch.
"Oh, well, can fix that in moment" /"
he said, but it was Q O'Clock that evening
before he came in.
1t was 10 o'clock next forenoon when
went out to the barn. He had the door
covered with the wire cloth and proudly
called my attention to it.
(which is the outside of the doorfn
asked.
"Why, the side this way, of course"
"Then you've tackled the cloth on the in
sidep'
"That's where it belongs"
"You never saw it there, Mr.. Bowser
neyerI And look at the way you have
tackled the stuff on. It's bumped up in a
dozen different places. because you pulled
it askew."
"There isn't one hump-not the sign of a
hump. I'll give any man billion dollars
to make better job of it'll All that door
needs now is painting"
"But don't they paint the frames before
they tack the cloth on? How are you going
to paint the inside of the fraIne?"
"Don't you worry yourself about this
job, Mrs. Bowser. Iwasn't born alongside
of huckleberry narshp'
Mr.. Bowser had been at work an hour
next morning before | went out He had
the doors at the front, and he seemed to
have some trouble about hanging them.
"You see what you've done, don't your"
| asked, after survey of the scene.
II don't believe Pm either near sighted
or color blind" he said.
"Well, you've got one door wrong side
up, to begin with"
"H-howf"
"Look at the panels and see. Then you
have been trying to hang one to swing in
and the other to swing out.o
81 have, Ell? That shows all you know
about it. Pm simply fitting the screens Sc
they will shut tight"
Just before noon he got a hang on both
doors, and as looked at them from the
hall had to sit down on the floor and
laugh. They didn't meet in the center
within two inches and each was half an
inch short at the top and bottom. He had
also hung them with the cloth ON the in
side. Just then a neighbor came along
and turned in to the steps. After looking
at the doors for half minute in great as
constituent he queried:
Something just from Paris, Bowseri"
"What do you meant"
"Why, you've got new idea in screen
doors. | suppose the space at the bottom
Is for bugs, that at the top for mosquitoes
and the center for flies. see you have left
the frames exposed. They will make CAPT
tai roosting places for horse flies and pinch
bugs. Did you do this jobs"
"Y-yes."
well, If | had a girl 10 years old who
couldn't beat it I'd make her go barefoo,
| all summer"
Il didn't make these doors for youl
| house, SIR"
"Thank Heaven for thati Bowser, yours
brick-a soft brickl I'll come up thii
evening with band and serenade thoss
doorsp'
| When the neighbor had gone Isuddenl,
felt the back end Of the house lift up. II
was Mr.. Bowser pulling those screen DOOR
off. He couldn't even wait to take the
screws out Of the hinges. They came of
in detachments and the pieces were flung
into the back yard. When he had finished
he came in and said:
MRS. Bowscr, want to have talk witt
/ vo1I---a very serioIIs talkfU