The record-union., 1892-02-03
PORTLAND POT-POURRI.
BeseIena's Letter from the Northern
Metropolis.
Young Oregonians Disappointed at Not
Having q Whack at Chile-Nari
Gus Local Matters.

We are disappointed crowd up here,
because the war with Chile has been de-
clared off. Our boys in blue are gallant
set, and their hearts are almost broken At
the idea of foregoing the capture OF the
little republic; and who can tell the num-
ber of Chilean ladies' hearts they would
have captured, too? / privately think it
is the latter reason that is doing them up.
a certain Judge had gathered together
band of wild, bloodthirsty cowboys.
They would have lassoed the unruly
Chileans, and dragged them at their
horses heels, and the rivers would have
run with blood; but, alas! it was not so
to be, and the disappointed cowboy is
once more herding cattle on the dismal
plains.
But what words can paint the defeated
hopes OF the members of the Alpine Club,
who fondly expected to skip along the
many mountain ranges, like so many
goats. swoop down on the offenders, and
completely wipe them out of existence.
When this little business had been ac-
complished, their leader intended to plant
the stars and stripes on the top of Mount
AcCncagUa and bury tin box containing
the doingS OF the club. And oh! the
pounds of red fire they intended TO burn
from its summit on the glorious Fourth
Of July. Immortal Mars! Weep, weep
for our heroes who didn't get chance to
distinguish themselves
Our city can boast of a second Samp-
son i'll the shape u woman-a school
teacher at that. The way she knocked
out bold, bad burglar the other night
would have done credit to even q pro-
fessional boxer. She was awakened by
hearing a noise in the room, and saw a
robber, on plumber bent, standing near
the bureau. She arose, and as she did
so the man tried to seize her by the
throat. She eluded him, and landed
well-directed, singing blow in his eye
which completely staggered him. Then,
in voice Of thunder, she ordered him to
go. Needless to say that, after such re-
ception, he backed out the door with all
possible dispatch. [ suppose that, being
a schoolmarm, the muscles of her arms
were more than ordinarily developed, as
shaking the very breath out of u retrac-
tory pupil would, l should think, be con-
ducive to arm-strength.
The first French ship to visit our port
in ten years arrived last Sunday. She is
named LA Vile de Rouen,' from st.
Nazoure, and is out on her maiden trip.
None Of the crew speak a word Of Eng
lish. The captain is of the opinion that
many more French ships Will visit our
port in the near future.
1t is strange TO see the varied cOlorS
and gorgeous jewels in which some
women array themselves when out for a
promenade. a true gentlewOman can
always be told on the street by her quiet,
yet rich dress, and lack of anything loud.
At home, of course, the case is different.
Those bright, pretty dresses and jewels
can be INDUCED in to the hearts content.
We have bill collector up here whose
method is certainly novel, if nothing else.
! He carries on his left side q wooden sign,
/ on which is announced his occupation.
| He is also armed with a cOwbell. W hen
! he spots man who doesn't pay, he sta
tions himself in front of where the man
may be and rings the cow-bell vigor-
ously. The result is the bill is always
paid.
Our old enemy. la grippe, is once more
among us, and has clutched countless
victims in his unwelcome embrace. 1t is
quite a la mode to be seen with an
exceedingly watery- looking countenance
and have your conversation lnterspersed
with few eXtemporaneous sneeZes.
II the Democratic Convention was
noisy, the Republican Convention, held
in our city short time ago, put it COM
pletely in the shade. The President of
one of our Republican clubs had his slate
all fixed, but, unfortunately for him and
I
OF it and circulated it amongst the others
who were not on the inside, and then,
tiguratively speaking, feathers few. The
fight was hot and fierce. Any one enter
ing the hall would have thought Bedlam
itself was loose The fight still continues.
and it is hard to tell where and how it
will end.
The spectacular production of ''Michael
Strogotf7' draws crowds nightly at one of
our theaters. The play is eXcellently put
on. Some of the scenes are strikingly
novel For instance the real balloon as
cension in the fifth act is quite realistic.
Several pretty ballets have been intro
duced. Altogether it is very enjoyable
evenings entertainment.
Walking down Washington street the
other evening a gentleman friend of mine
! hailed a passing newsboy and asked for
j one OF our evening papers. Seeing the boy
4 was inclined TO be loquacious he asked
/ him as starter what he thought of war
/ with Chile The gentleman wanted to
! find out Young Americas ideas on this
i all-important subject and remarked that
! Yankees cousin't tight, anyway. The
! boy at once fell back on his dignity and
said he didn't agree with him; that in
! front of the office that evening were as
sembled fifty newsboys. Ten espoused
! their country's cause and the other forty
] represented Chile. 1t took the ten Amer
/ leans Just this many minutes to ''clean
| out' the forty Chileans. That doesn't
| look as tho We can't tight, does it? And
/ the injured nephew of Uncle Sam retired,