Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1892-06-12
CUPID DRIVES A PEN
That Makes Register Sam. Conner
Laugh and Weep by Turns
WHAT LoVE-SICK MAIDENS WRITE
One Elderly One Afraid Her Lover Would
Get to Know Her Age
PEOPLE WHO LAY CLAIM TO ESTATES

Register Sam Conner seems to have been
fitted by nature for the position he holds In
the government of Allegheny county. There
is not man in all the county with keener
appreciation Of the ridiculous than tho
County Register. No man more than he
enjoys funny situation, and no man In the
county day in and day out for a year re-
ceives so much mail that contains amusing
inquiries or suggestions
Mr.. Conner's mail comes from all over
the civilized world, and the great bulk Of
his correspondence bears directly on some
marriage in prospective, or on the will Of
some lamented relative whose estate con-
Germs the writer directly or indirectly.
"Look here, Mr.. Conner began yester-
day, placing his left hand upon a huge pile
of letters which had just been left upon his
desk. This is my mornings mail, and
marriage marriage is the burden of them
all. Some of these writers want to know II
I can issue a marriage license on the quiet,
others want to know if it is necessary for the
lady to swear to her age when securing Q
license to marry.
| The Two Extremes In Aga
'The old girls want to know how they
can keep their real age from the public, and
the giddy little darlings want to know how,
being under age, they can secure the legal
right to marry without first securing the
consent of parents. With the one age
seems to be the subject of re-
| gret and shame, while to the other youth
seems a burden and distress. ALI, however,
are moved by the same purpose. They all
/ want tn OF ruarriad nd of r IL
through these stacks of unique and often
interesting letters, some of them timid and
ambiguous, while others are pointed and
| business like, / am forced to the belief that
Love rules our realm, and I am persuaded
| that in addition to County Register We
should have sort of county wedding
bureau with general director in charge
whose business it should be to act as guide
for those who insist upon getting married.
This wedding director might be clothed
| with authority to marry and unmarry, and
he should be held responsible for any mis-
takes he might make in mismating couples.
"Of course, Mr.. Conner went on, ST am
| not ambitious to have such place created
for nv special benefit, but L would like to
be relieved of this marriage business, which
is no doubt intensely interesting to the per.
sons directly interested, but has become q
confirmed annoyance to me.
But" the gentleman went on laugh-
ingly, "we've all been there ourselves and
the dear girls are just as sweet and roman
! tic now as they were when we were gallant
beaux, and somebody must look after them
now just as We were pleased to look after
them then.
From a LovesIck Ohio Girl.
'Took here" Mr.. Conner continued,
reaching for the topmost letter of the stack.
The letter was written on small sheet Of
perfumed paper in hand indicating the
school girl 1t was dated at Lowellville,
| O., and was addressed to 1.-THE Probate
Judge of Allegheny County" The letter
said:
How is 1t about a couple being married in
Pittsburg if the young man is not quite OF
| age? Would YOU Issue a license? Please say
| yes and oblige love sick girl. Please
answer by return mail and don't refuse me.
| The letter is signed by the anxious lady.
'1t is cruel, know. but it is the law, not
me-" said Mr. Conner. 'T must tell that
dear girl that she must bring the boys
parents with her if she wants to get mar
riage license at this shop. It's the law
that's cruel"
The next letter was dated at Yungstown,
O., the Gretna Green for Pennsylvania $ ro-
mantle marriageables 1t was also written
by lady, evidently one who knew her busi-
ness, however. It was addressed to s. Con-
ner, heglSleT, LlCe0So COuIt,
Pittsburg, Pa It said in that simple,
matter-of-fact way that denotes earnestness
and familiarity with the affairs of the
world:
SIR-I am going to be married this spring,
/ expect to be married in PittSburg, and !
write you for information. Is it necessary
for the girl to swear to her age when q mar
riage license is issued in your State? 1 am
older than my intended husband, but don'e
want him to know it. Please answer and
oblige. Find stamp enclosed.
''The cruel law must be satisfied in this
case, too," the Register said. '.If she don't
want her husband to get on to her exact
age, she had best burn the family Bible and
get married at her Ohio home; I must write
her to that effect.
On the Hunt of Money.
'tNow, here is q specimen of rare inter-
est" and the Register handed to the re-
porter a small envelope bearing San Fran
cisco, Cal, date. 1t was addressed as fol-
lows: "In care of Pittsburg County Court
House, Public Administrator of Orphans
Court, Allegheny county, of Pittsburg,
PENNSYLVANIA" The address covered tho
entire envelope. The letter read:
DEAR SRI take the opportunity ofwrfting
vou a few lines to the Orphans Court and
Judge Of Probate or public administrator
County Court House. Now, am the heir OK
some money and need it. Please send It to
me by return mall tnlnK my DrOtner-lns
law is trying to get the money and want
Won to stop him. This will show you that I
am living, and send my respects to you.
"The letter don't specify any amount Of
money, and of course 1 can't send it to my
unknown friend" Mr.. Conner said. 'T
know he is living. however, and that'ss
satisfaction"
An Importunate Kansas Lawyer.
"Now this" Mr.. Conner continued, 'fs
an instance of what I call sublime gall"
He then picked up another letter which had
been written from Wichita, Kan, by an
attorney of that place. The writer wanted
to know ''of man named Miller, who died
in Allegeny county within five years, LETT
will and if such a will was left who are the
benefciaries." The letter concludes with
the statement: 81 married an adopted
daughter of Mr.. Miller and want my wife
to get her share of the esnte"
The writer failed to give the first name Of
'the man named Miller" and as a result
Mr. Conner sent him list of 25 Millers
who had died in Allegheny county within
five years, all of whom LETT wills, and with
the list of names Mr.. Conner sent polite
note with the request ''that your wife, the
adopted daughter of a man named Miller,
select from the list of Millers the particu-
lar Miller in whose estate you wish her to
share, return the first name of said Miller
to me, and 1 will be pleased to return to
you any information in nv possession re-
garding such Miller, his estate and its dis
position"
'sBut public office is public trust" Mr..
Conner concluded as he threw off his coat
ooJ oesupood rho dufiaa of his irnportonk