The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-03-02
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

odNillllp Lle COupldlnanL IOilCtiIldll
He was little dried-up insigrnf-
cant crcetur, about your own size, yer
honor.
Accepted Suitor-Don't you think
it will be awkward when you meet your
other two husbands in heaven? Inter-
esting Widow-I do not expec. to meet
either Of them there.
Young SappY Ito host who is some
what deaf How graceful your eldest
daughter is, AIR. Bailey. Mr.. Bailey
(grasping his hand cordially)-All
right, my boy, if her mother is willing.
Fix it up among yourselves.
A Man Of Family: Borus-I hear
ycu have taken a wife to yourself,
Smithers whom did you marry /?
Smithers ldejectedly)-Milly Jones,
her mother, her stepfather, and two
maiden aunts.
Restaurant Guest-Waiter, bring
me a couple Of soft-boiled eggs. Voice
at next table The same for me. watt
er. BE sure they are fresh. Watefs
Voice in the dlstance-Four soft-boll-
cd eggs; two must be fresh.
"Paw," asked little Tommy, "what
is fool-killer?' "a fool-killer, my
son." replied Mr.. Brown, lis a little
thing called cigarette"
Dismay in Boston: The appalling
oior Of a skunk peryaded Boston 5
most aristocratic quarter one evening
recently. A feeling Of Indignation, in
tense but cultured. rankles in the Bos-
ton bosom. A number Of Back Bay
families are loudly demanding that a
wall be built about the city.
The law permits a man to use his
wife in order to rob ms creditors yet
in the face Of this it IS still argued that
marriage is a fail re.
A Kansas magistrate was recently
called on to unite a young couple in
marriage. The groom, an undersized
and strikingly ugly youth, was named
Pill, and the magistrate embarrassed
the young lady horribly by putting one
Of the usual questions in this form; /;
"Clara, do you take this Pill"
In the Tyrant's Power: Mr.. Gold
lace Really, my dear, you must get
rid Of that cook Of ours. The dinner
is atroclous. Young Wife-I don't
dare to, Tom. must give her a weeks
notice, and there is no telling what she
might do in that time.
Experientia D0cet: Servant-Boy
wants to see you, mum. Mistress
Has he got a bill in his hand? Ser
want No, mum. Mistress Then he's
got one in his pocket. Send him away.
Hint to Noble Foreigners: Amer
ican Wife (worth millions)-You don't
mean to tell me that you haven't mon
ey enough for your street-car fare ?
Her Husband, the Count thumbly)-|
My love. / haven't q cent in my pocket.
Wiie-Dear, dear, what extravaganza !
Where's that halfdollar / gave you
Monday?
Seryant-Whom do you wish to see,
monsieur? Caller-I wish to see Bar
on Rudel in regard to a promissory
note. Servant-The baron went out
Of town yesterday, monsieur. Caller
That is unlucky. / wanted to pay him
two thousand francs on that note of
mine Servant The baron fortunate
ly returned last night and Will be
pleased to see you. Walk in, monsieur.
Risk on Both Sides: Father-Do
you have the impudence to ask my
daughter in marriage after only two
weeks acquaintance You are almost
a stranger to her,sir. Stubbstfrmly)-
Well, she doesn't run any gerater iisk
than ! do; shes almost a stranger to
me, too.
Candid But Disappointing: Miss
Goldlace (archly) Honestly, now, Mr..
Policy, whom should you call the pret-
test qrl in the room? Policy (after
close scrutiny)-Well, to tell the truth,
there isn't a good-loOking girl to be
seen here
After the Festival Johnny Gn a
tone Of disgust)-Here I've been goin
to Sunday school ever since spring, and
keepin' clean as q girl,and all for what?
Why, a cornycopy full of caraway can
dy, and a norange J BAH
An Echo Of Childhood: He-Will
you be mine? Bud (her first ofer)-
If you please.
Unanimous Opposition: Borus-So
you did not marry Miss Moneybags af-
ter all. Sappy-No; her family all
objected. Borus-Well, but If the girl
herself liked you Sappy-Do not
misunderstood me, Borus; she was as
much opposed to it as any Of them.
Miss Simper-This is one Of the
smallest dogs living. See, ] can hold
hlm in the palm Of my hand. Busby
That's nothing. Pve had dogs that
could be put on scent.
Rector's Dauahter-Will you have
some more cake, Polly? Polly No,
thanky, Miss Bessie; Pm full. Rec
tors Daughter-Then | shall put some
into your pockets. Polly (regretfully)
They're full, too.
Our Walters: Guest lin cheap res