Morning journal and courier., 1892-03-10
COMMUNICATIONS.

The old Sanitarian Chats in . Ram.
 bling Way About Various Things,
 and Especially About the Need or
 Keeping the Public Cheerful.
 To the Editor of the JOURNAL AND COURIER.
 The other day I noticed that one of Mark Twain's characters had patented device whereby our houses can be illumi- mated by burning sewer gas. This genius thinks that whereas our sewers are always full of a terribly poisonous gas, and where as we want our houses lighted; therefore it would be fine thing to burn the sewer gas and thus foil those odious monopolies, the gas companies. This is an old idea of mine, out of which l expected to pull my self up from the mire of poverty.
 But Mark has got ahead of me. Worse than that, Dr. Dibble has told us that sev- eral of the leading chemists in the world have made the most elaborate efforts to discover "sewer gas" and utterly failed to find that there was any such gas in exis- tence. Moreover, Dr. Dibble says that all the great chemists of Germany and France scout the sewer gas theory as a ridiculous humbug.
 Oh, how do want to thrash that ras- cally Dr. Dibble. How I would like to get him down in the gutter and kick him on one side and then roll him over and kick him on the other side. He is clearly an 'enemy of the public health."
 Before sanitary science came into exis- tence people used to say "John Smith died of iaJ ofo |, &c.,, Sc. But since we scientists have como to writing the death reports all the sanitarians take great pleasure in saying: "John Smith was killed by fever. Will liam Roe was killed by apoplexy." &c. Sc. The word "killed" is good one. Our state board of health has peculiarly happy way of stating that 80 many per sons were "killed" in Hartford-so many were "killed" in Bridgeport, &c., Sc. Reports of that kind keep the public in a very cheerful frame of mind, and that is the only reason why we sanitariansr oil the word "killed" like sweet morsel under our tongue. Wicked wretches, like Dr. Dibble, doubtless think ''killed" is used to alarm the people and thereby get greater salaries But we sanitarians know that killed" is a cheerful word and cannot be used too often. It amuses the people to hear it.
 My fame as an "eminent sanitariann now extends over the globe. In conse- quence am deluged at every mail with sanitary literature. of various kinds. Of Franklin said-''it soothes my vanity" to find my ideas referred to as those of a
 "great sanitarian, although rather toe conservative"
 In fact, at the outset of my career as a
 sanitarian I was thought quite radical.
 But sanitary science is progressing so rsp-
 idly that find myself tagging like an
 old fogy in the rear struggling to keep up
 with the procession. The other day I re-
 ceived an essay from another ''eminent
 sanitarian," in which it was clearly shown
 to be the duty of Congress to appropriate
 one hundred millions year to be used by
 sanitarians to "stamp out" consumption.
 This scientist proposes to seize every one , sick with consumption and put him in one of multitude of new hospitals to be erected by the government. Of course
 this is the only correct way to deal with
 such terribly contagious disease as con , sumption. Besides, every patient, al |. though away from kindred, would be con | solou py bho PIooohoo VI Q Souitdry QOctOr It is exceedingly gratifying to find tha, in every section of our country nor. - laws gre steadily being enacted to com
 pei people to obey sanitary rules; nor,
 offices are being created for sanitarian. to fill and more money is appropriated , to pay sanitary expenses. The requss f of our own health ofiosr for more plumb ing laws is one which should be com piled with at once. We need a sanitar, z Inspector, 8 plumbing inspector and aI [ assistant health officer in every ward 1T