The Durham daily globe., 1892-07-30
TT WAS DYNAMITE
A Thrilling Adventure Shows Col.
Pat LunsfOrd a Hero.
A Gay and Festive Widow Imposes
Upon the Boys.
DEATH AND CONFUSION FOLLOW

DGA n ANU OONF OOiON FO-%O'
Colonel vanr, who witnessed the Scene
Relates the story in His Own
Classic style.
The Widow McTOOf came to the city
this morning on the /. & ID. train, and
brought with her quart Of Nike Cruik
shanks patent dynamite huckleberries,
which she proposed TO trade to our genial
register Of deeds, Judge Pat Lunsford,
for transcript of her deceased husbands 8
will, now on file in that gentleman office.
Our friend Pat is, and has been for years,
a chronic dispeptic, and this particular
variety Of fruit has frequently been re-
commended by Major Hub Sims, Clerk
Green, Squire Barbee, Mayor Angler and
others as a dead-shOt specific for the dis
ease in question. Judge Pat gladly made
the requested exchange and Immediately
became the sole owner ofthe 'dynamites," +"
and while Lunsford, Jr., was copying
the document, the boys crowded round
to inspect Pats purchase, and began
sampling in a reckless way the luciOus
berries Just five minutes after the
"sampling" process commenced, Jake
WOodall hurriedly left the room to, it
was presumed, answer telephone call in
the mayors office; Hub Sims thought he
heard prisoner trying to make his
escape from jail and went out to investi-
gate; jim Davis was confident that a
water pipe had bursted in the basement,
and he went down to make repairs-husi-
ness, pressing, painful business called for
and scattered all the rest Of the buckle.
berry reVelers. This sudden, preCipitate
retreat caused Pat TO believe that big
fire was in the building and that it was
fast heading his way then, with view
TO saving the valuable documents that lay
on his office table, ambled over to the
safe, dropped on his knees, but-O, ,Jeptha,
king Of Israel the combination had
slipped his memory and the tlecting mo-
and while frantically trying to unlock the
door with boOtiack, a terrible pain shot
through his abdominal cavity, and being
firmly impressed that an assassin's dagger
was putting in its fatal work, he crawled
under the safe and yelled, "Police Fire I!
Murderw His cries attracted the atten-
tion Of DR.. Johnson who, at the moment
was passing along the street, quickly went
TO the rescue, and the good doctor, after
libcrating him from his unpleasant quar-
tGrs, ordered the following medicament ::
RX- MOrphiac, grs. vi.
Aqua vitae, Y.
Elk. cinchona, Xv.
Aqua Calcis. Xxx.
DOsr-Ad lib.
A this writing, friend LunsfOrd is
slumbering swectly, and will recover.
Search was made for the other buckle
berry men, and with the following re-
suits: Jake WoOdall was found hanging
across the railing in the mayors office,
head and feet touching the floor on either
side, and groaning piteOusly; Jim Davis
had Crawled into the sewer pipe in the
basement, and there shuiiled off the NOR
tai coil; Hub Sims had locked himself in
Jail, and had two brawney-armed sons of
Ham rubbing him down with a piece of
/ by & scantling-massage treatment,
you know-and after a long painstaking
hunt, Lunsford, Jr., came to light in
Sheriff Markham's water cooler, frozen
stiff as an icicle. 1t seems that the
widow McTOOf was in town some days
back with huCkleberries for sale, and
that the boys-LUnsfOrd, Jr., in particu-
lar-jewed the price down to four cents
per quart, which greatly exasperated the
old lady, and in her honest way swore to
get even with the jewhawkers on her
next visit. The boys are thoroughly dis
gustcd with dynamite huckleberries, and
will hereafter confine themselves to the
plain old huckleberry of their daddies ;
will in the future give the patent article
chance to sell for all they are worth on
this or any other market. Good resolu-
tions are hard to keep, but friend Pat
swears that he is ready to shoot the in
dividual who is foolhardy enough to sug-
gest another infallible remedy for dis
pepsia-says he has acted upon the last
suggestion along that line, Hub Sims is
of the opinion that the widow SPRAYED
those berries with croton oil. and that
opinion is religiously shared by all the
rest Of the huckleberry roisterers
l.. ID. NANN.
Tired All the Time"
Is the complaint of many poor mortals,
who know not where TO find relief