Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1892-04-06
TEA-TABLE-S SALAD.


LANeUID CHoLIY.-Cholly Qanguidlyl
Cholly-"Come to the window and
wink at this gull fob me. "-New York
Herald.
"THIs is getting to be the land of the
midnight son." said paterfamilias, as
Johnnie came in from a neighborlng
cobweb party at the stroke of twelve
LooceU Courier.
SHARpsoN-"Old fellow, you look
seedy. It is time you had new suit"
Phlatz-"I know it, but my tailor re-
fuses to-h'm-to renew the modus
vivendi. - Chicago Tribune.
HEROIC SELF-DENIAL.- Rector-"Ar
YOU DENYING yourself anything during
Lent ?'' Mrs. Indeed [
am. I'm putting off getting divorce
until after Easter. "-Ne1O York Weekly.
"WHAT can I do for my little boy"
asked mamma, $50 that lie won't want
to eat between meals ?''
"Have the meals flicker together"
replied the young gourmand.-Nea0
York Herald.
THE average man never reads down
the column of personal Notes About
Well-Known People" without a vague
feeling that he shouldn't be surprised if
be saw his own name printed there
some day.-SomergiHe Journal.
NEWSPAPER REPORTER Ito president of
company -"Has your company taken
any steps to pay its taNes"' President
-"Why, certainly, sir. We have made
two protests against the constitutional
ity Of the law. "-Ieras SJ'tingS.
HE-"Dearest, can you not trust me?
Will you not agree to combine your
e. "a
like to above all things. but the laws
are pretty strict just now on trusts and
combines. boston Transcript.
every pretty sunset" he remarked.
eyes" she replied. 81 don't wonder
that people write about the shades of
evening. | had no idea that there were
so many different shades or that they
matched SO nicely. > Washington Star.
JENNIE-''Is there any test by which
one can ascertain the genuineness of a
diamond without consulting jeweler?"
Minnie-"CousinB Bob says you can find
out by soaking it, but | never thought
to ask him in what. "-Il1dtdnapOliS Jour
nal.
PAT-"Faix, Maggie, you'd besht be
atther takin' dose av DR.. Squills' Life
ENtinsiol !" Maggie-'Indade, I'll not,
Pat. Whin [ had the grippe, sure, didn' t
he drown me with the horrid stuff till
that / was terrible sick long afther | got
we'll ?"-Puck.
LITTLE JOHNNY had heard the minis
ter eNhorting his hearers to strive to
enter in at the straight gate. A few
moments later, when the contributions
box was passed around, he whispered
ma, are they after the gate money"-
Boston Transcript.
PAYING HER OUT.-Dorothy-'' And
when I grow up l shall get married
ask you to it, mamma" Mamma
''Why won't you ask me to it, dear?''
Because you didn't ask me
to yours. ''-Fttnny Folks.
BLBAKHURsT- oN-THE- HUDsoN-Ca Caring
ton-'So Higgins has built him an En-
glish country-house near Yonkers ?
How does he like it ?" Harrington
Very well, he says with the exception
Of going out wet nights in his slippers to
let visitors in at the porter's lodge. y
Puck.
RICH OLD Person" What do YOU
want a wife for. when you can't hardly
support yourself? Why, sir, my daughter
would starve" Snookins with great
dignity -''Well, sir, if you are the kind
Of man to let your daughter and her
husband starye, [ don't wish to enter
the family. Exchange.
THAT INFAMOUS GERRYNANDER.- The
Rev. Mr.. Goodman-"How do you do,
Mr.. Emsee? [ have not seen you at
my church for a long time"
The Hon. Mr.: Emsee (of the 'steenth
Congressional District-"No, parson.
The last time [ went to your church the
usher-I think you call him-gerry-
wandered me into seat with lot of
tOughs near the Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. KAINTUCK-"Wake up, wake up
The water pipes have burst IN the
kitchen" Col. Kaintuck = "Gr-r.r !!
Waugh-gh-gh Lemme 'loneW Mrs.
kaintuck-"And the water is running
into the cellar and may get into the
whisky barrel" Col. Kaintuck (spring-
ing out of bed)-"By the great horn
spoon, woman, get out Of my way and
let me get down stairs quick n'-BOstcn
NeUs.
AN old Scotch lady's memory sketch
OF q clergyman Of the old school: "Ou,
aye, weel do mind Mr.. Douglas He
wasna yin of the latter-day kind that
Gamma tax wee drappie. Monv's the
time I've seen him gaun' along the
street where | lived, a. the better what
he didna carry just to say very straight
ly. The auld wives would come out to
their doors, and pin their arms SO
(akimbo) and look at him h1rplin'
alang, and say: Gu, ay, there goes Mr..
Douglas. He's gey fou' the day, the
guild, pious aulC meenister.' "-Boston
Transcript.
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. = Vas
sar Girl-The bitters are put it after
you have filled the mixing-glass with
chopped ice. Actor-Apply weak
mixture of ammonia and water to the
spots where the eggs struck the gar
ments. Washington = Unqestionably
the wife of the private secretary of the
third assistant postmaster-general takes
precedence of the wife of the son of the
Ianitor Of the Smithsonian Institution.
Mrs. n. E., Boston-We think the pie
should be served after the beans, al