Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-07-21
sci.sored smiles.

t'eings that Are Odd Curious and
Laughabke.
scissored smiles.
IF poor relatives had their way
they would not have any rich uncles
very long. Dallas News.
THE man who crooks the elbow"
habitually is the same fellow who
takes 1t straight. Boston Courier.
WHERE did Bright spend his hon
ey-moouy" honeymoon, you mean;
he married SO, 900, 900. Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
TIE recent activity In the comet
market makes 1t appear that the as
stronomers' business is looking up
Buffalo Express.
THE college commencement season
is time when the happy senior is in
excellent spirits and often vice versa.
-Elmira Gazette.
FAIR AMATEUR-"Yes, painted
this. What school of painting would
you call it?" Artist gently
Boarding school," = New York
Weekly.
CORBErT has been examined by
doctor and pronounced perfect. 1t
now seems assured that he and John
l.. will whip each other Columbus
Post.
WHEN the druggists clerk is treat
ing his best girl to soda he is apt to
forget to put 5 cents in the till, for he
is engaged in syruptitious business
Boston Transcript.
WOULDN'T the impecunious young
man be happy during ice-cream season
II the girls mouths were no bigger
than fashion-plate makes them APP
pear?-Bradford Era. 80
THE man who devotes too much
time to trying to see both sides of
subject is in danger Of contracting a
mental strabismus that will prevent
his seeing anything clearly.-Wash-
ington Star
as SAnTHINs a smart lawyer"
"Very. Man went to him with
case involving $3.50. Said he was
willing to spend 81 800 to get it back.
Smithins made him out bill right
of for 81, $50. Brooklyn Life.
THERE is good brother in Topeka
who is such Sabbatarian that he
won't ride in the. street cars on Sun
day, and he is so close-tlsted that he
won't ride in them other days, so he
walks all the time Topeka Journal.
HUNKER's INJUDICIoUs REMARK.
-Gazzam-"That was bad slip Of
the tongue on Hunker's part. Mad
dox-"Yes, he had just eaten
banana. Puck.
rs BRONSON as forgetful as ever?"
"More so. Why, that fellow has to
look himself up in the directory every
night before he goes home from bust
ness. Forgets his address. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
ToM-"Jessie has something of the
military air about her." Jack
"Never noticed it. What?" Tom
"The agility with which she flies to
arms. New York Herald.
EVERY man who takes part in your
procession expects in return that you
will some day blow a horn in the band
in his procession. Globe.
SOMETIMES man is justified in
feeling that @the most unkindest cut
of all" applies to the picture of him
that appeared in the newspaper
Washington Star.
FATHER-That cat made an awful
noise in the back garden last night.
Arnold-Yes, father; i think that
since he ate the canary he thinks he
can sing. -Tid-Bits
Pearl--Does he love you? Madge
Pm sure he does; / spilled some
strawberry ice-cream over his new
lavender trousers the other night, and
he never said even Great Cesar!-
Brooklyn Eagle.
"RUN for de doctor, quick! Helpl
help! Dot baby has swallowed
nickel" exclaimed Mrs. Schaumburg.
"Mein Gott! you make so much fuss
as If 1T vas $40 gold piece, Repec-
Ca" replied Moses. Texas Siftings.
THAT was great downfall, said
the barber when he finished shaving
the young mans upper lip.-Wash-
ington Star.
"THIs is an application for relief"
as the man said when he stuck the
porous plaster on his pain. --Phila-
delphia Record.
THE sphere of woman may indeed
be boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed wire
fence.-Ram's Horn.
SATAN-"Did you torture him
well?" Asmodeus-"Yes." Satan
what did you dor" Asmodeus-"I
asked him if it was hot enough for
him. New York Herald.
HELLO, Jones, what are you doing
with your coat buttoned up to your
chm? Are you sick?" Jones-"Hush,
don't mention it; i have on a tic that
my wife selected. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Mrs. YoUNGwIFE-"Can you give
me a veal cutlet?" The Butcher
certainly, madame" Mrs. Young.
wife-"And il. it isn't too much
trouble, can't you send ycnr boy to
the bakers SO can have it bieadca?"
Harper's Bazaar.
ONE OF the most remarkable cases
on record OF dependence on faith cure
Is that of Denver woman who is re-
ported as having become so infatu-
ated with the Christian Scientist the
DRY that she laid away on the shelf