davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19

All Men Can Be if They Try.
"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R,-"Howdy, Major. How are you
feeling9"
Bob, I'm all right. I have just
got home from the county meeting. L
tell you it was a good meetin'. Betsy
wanted to go but I wouldn't let her"
R.-"Say, Major, hold on there. Did
you say you wouldn't let Mrs, Bilkins
go?"
B.-"That is what I said"
RI don't understand. Hereto
fore Mrs. Bilkins seemed to rule the
ranch"
Bot course she did. But the
papers have bin maxim such a fuss
about wimin suffrage I couldn't stand
it any longer. believe the wimin had
a secret understandin' among 'em,
sorter of a 'Gideon's Band consarn,
an they lowed to take our liberties
from us. So | thought I would strike
before the CALM chains were fastened
on me-"
R.-"How did you manage it? No
doubt there are thousands of men who
would give half their fortunes to be
able to do as they please after mar
riage."
B.-"Oh; its easy enough: I told
Betsy that I was afraid of her, but
she could pretend that I was boss an
jump every time l looked at her, The
children an the neighbors would all
think I was a regular desperate then.
1t works like a charm, All I had ter
do the other mornin' was to say:
Betsy you shant go to the county
meetin'.' She didn't say nothin' only
well, Zeke, whatever you think best.
You see I'm a hero, don't you?"
Riff I understand you, Mrs.
Bilkins is just pretending you are
lord and masters"
B.-"That is it. All men who you
hear boss their wives do that way.
Their wives are boss, but they are
willing to allow the public to think
they are afraid Of their husbands"
R-"How is the Peoples party
getting along out on the rivera"
B.-"Gettin' along! It's not gOin'
along at all. It's done gone. Blamed
if it amt goin' so fast it takes three
people to see it-one tosay tharit comes,
another thar it goes an another to say
"I seen it." I tell you it's a hummer.
Everybody is gOin' into it. l think
they should, fer it the only political
platform that reads like Jefferson's
speeches. Democrats, Republicans an
Prohibitionists all a jine it-that is
the respectable ones. OF course the
the other sort will have ter stay out,
fer there is too much religion in the
Peoples party platform fer them, an
the candidates are too honest"
R.-"What do you suppose will be-
come Of preachers who pray every
Sunday for good government, honest
patriotic public officials, and then vote
the old party tickets?'
Blamed if | know. Betsy says
U1Oy SGdLA q SOOu CACGnCC III gum w q
place where they will put in ten thou
sand millyun years prayin' fer ice
water. I reckin Betsy is right, fer she
reads the Bible a good deal an that is
what it tells her"
RI expect she is right"
B.-"Say, I want to know why Ed.
Chambers Smith resigned as Boss
"Gideon" of the Democratic party?"
RI am not sure, but think he
saw that the old ship had sprung a
leak. Edward is sharp enough to get
off a sinking ship"
B.-"Tn bet that was it. Betsy said
it was because she threatened to wran
him up in her apron and carry him off.
but I told her that he had got over that
scare. Hurrahl for Weaver an the
Field"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
Oxford Female Seminary.
OXFORD, N. G.

The 42d annual session opens August 31st. 1892
Location unsurpassed. Physical culture is
prominent: the teacher now visiting northern
methods,
The degree conferred are B. A. and G, E, or
The Faculty isl strong one, holding diplomas
from sucn sch9oIs as the University Of Virginia,
the SanVeur school of Languages, the COODer
Union Art School of N. Y, the PhiIadeipRia.
Conservatory, and the Royal Conservatory Of
Charges, per session of 40 weeks: Board. full
Literary Tuition, Free Hand Drawing, PHYSICAL
Culture, $40. Tn above with music, 1920. 1857
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
WHAT HE WILL DO.

A Texas paper asks this question
"What will Senator Coke do?' AS the
question only has local interest we
can't tell why it Is asked, but if he
thinks about all his constituents are
idiots, it is more than likely that he
will write a letter telling them that the
Alliance reforms are not all they
should be and they had better throw
them away and put in the next few
months fighting a thing called the
"force BILL" which is an imaginary
bill that Wall street concocted especi-
ally for cranks and others who are
willing to be buncoed out of their
rights by a gang of p%lutocrats as un-
scrupulous as Italian banditti.
There is room for a big change. Men
who go to Congress should make a
record on something else besides telling
their constituents ghost stories about a
bill that was never intended to pass
Congress
A few days ago the authorities of
Kansas City destroyed two million dol
lars OF waterworks bonds, being unsal-
able because the interest was payable
IN currency" The new bonds will
pear A per cent. interest, the interest
payable In gold. Can you not see the
pIOI ueVeIop?-HGrper Advocate.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
WANTED.

A Republican or Democrat that can
tell the difference between the two old
parties platforms on the silver cues
ton. If these planks are not complete
straddles and bids for money from
~capitatalis and money lenders, then
we know nothing about politics
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
TO THE PUBLIC.

The meeting of the Peoples party
district convention for this the 4th
congressional district is hereby changed
from July 18th to Monday, Aug 18th,
at 2 p. m.
By order of the executive committee.
S. OHIO WILSON. Cmn'n
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
GUILFORD COLLEGE,.

Established in 1887. Chartered as
Guilford College in 1888 Beautifully
located. Elegar t buildings we'll equip
ped. Seven courses of instruction.
Valuable libraries. The Cabinet of
Natural History in North Carolina. A
four hundred dollar scholarship open
to lady graduates annually. Model
dairy farm owned by the College
Fresh milk and butter supplied to
students. Terms low. Send for cata,
logue. Fall term opens August 23d,
1892.
L LYNDON HOBBS. A. M.
President.
ROBT. G. ROOT, B. s, Treasurer.
Guilford College, Guilford Co., n. @.
(84D
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
Monroe i School,
MAIE Nh EENr

Enei iig6ehes faught: Classics, Mathematics,
g gci5aas sla Bt1ibEdl doEE bod desks rs pianos, vail maps
Six teachers. Thorough ch new an4 elegant
ope1 Is9 august I'D, 1892. Send for Catalogue
No9O II. ID. ANDREWS EniDsr
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19

Needing q tonic, or children who want build
ing up should take
BROWNS IRON BTTTERS,
1t is pleasant cures Malaria. Indigestion.
B~iliousness, Liver Complaints and Neuralgia.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
North Carolina College
MT. PLEASANT NJ

sc He1t session > viii begin Sept. l. Classical.
Department, Preparatory for G9ileseS Com
He[Gla6 department, full course. Instruction
R noTjE ana practical; Good brick buildings.
session OF IS weeks, 500 t. $3.50. For catalogue
and further information address the President.
(03S Rev, J.. D.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
800
ADMINISTRATORS NoTICE.

Having qualified as the Administrators of the
late L. l.. Polk, l hereby notify all persons in
debted to his estate to make prompt settlement,
to present the same for settlement on OF before
tn 2Sth day of June, 1898, or this notice may be
plead in bar OF their recovery.
MRS. SARAH P. POLK.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19

KANSAS, the birthplace of the Peoples party.
Do you want to know all about the movement
in it's birthplace? Then send 35 cents for the
Industrial Free Press until January LIST, 1893, and
the Peoples Songster, containing the songs that
cheered us on to victory and turned Ingalls,
down. TIL Free Press was the first Alliance
paper in Kansas, and has always kept in the
front. Address THE FREE PRESS, Winfield,
Kansas.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
ELON COLLEGE
Burlington Academy.

English, Classical, Normal and Scien-
tif1c courses of study. School year be-
gins August goth, 1892. Write for
register. w. E. ORMOND, A. M,
$3.50 Principal.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
w anted


Having bought the Milestone Quarries of E
E.. Phillips estate, | will continue to manufac-
mills for grinding corn and wheat. Address
j. 7. WYATT
1885, Salisbury, Rowan Co.. G.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19

HORNER MILITARY SCHOOL, OXFORD, N. c.
Modern buildings, hot and cold baths, gymnasium bealthful climate beau
tiul surroundings, numbers limited. Amodel home school for boys Gaia
logues sent on applicatin. 1887
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
SUBSCRIPTION RIDE

5U55O61FIION ORDER.
Publishers THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER, Raleigh, n: e.:
e NIoaeo ma - IN .:........as payment for. 1890. ,..5 u0SA
tons for one year, to be sent IS follows:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
SCARLET or CRIMSON GLOVER
In Effect May goth, 1892.

Richmond & Danville R. R. Schedule.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19
NJ

Below
.elegates|
the ST.
arty, W
BhofA A
4 all pal
ach 9O
ave thI
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-07-19

The
Wake
bin the
house
l
|gressiC
|Raleig
gates
meets
/ The
ships
at IL
count
'delega
(an pc
| Fac
| cutive
! sa
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
Large and Small! Boats at Sea.

I have said that the little boat
usually brings its occupants safely
within sight of ship or land. If
you are ever so cast away. choose that
you may sight a ship rather than land.
Only too often the fierce storm is
weathered and the hopeful crew sail
over hundreds Of miles of sunny seas.
almost as if on a pleasure trip until
the glad sight of land greets their
eyes, and their troubles seem but a
dream Of the past. when suddenly
they are plunging through a mass OF
white and broken water and amid the
roar of crashing waves the little boat
is lifted and twisted and flung about
till dashed into fragments upon Jagged
rocks; while those survivors of terrible
storm and shipwreck, of uncounted
miles of open ocean, are thrown upon
the sunny beach which gladdened
their hearts, cruelty battered or per-
haps lifeless! Almost always, too.
this is due to their not knowing how
to handle their boat at this browning,
critical moment when but a few hun
dred yards remain of a thousand mile
journey from ship to land. john M.
Elliott, u. S. N, in St. Nicholas.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
FEMININ!TIES,

To hope and not be impatient is really
to believe
Lady Londonderry spends one day out
of every ten in bed for beauty's sake.
There are two sides to every question:
but everyone believes that thier side is
right.
The dowry of Turkish bride is fixed by
custom at about 81. 20, and the wedding
day is invariably Thursday.
She: ''Now mind the baby while I'm
gone and don't let him get cross.'' He:
''Certainly, 1 will do whatever he di-
rects''
1nquiring child: papa, why do peo-
pie cry at weddings?' Papa, distracted.
ly: Most of 'em have been married
themselves"
1t is queer that a young man never
notices that young woman he is in love
with has freckles until after she has Tilted
or married him.
Only one woman of the upper class in
Egypt is permitted to see men. She is
the widowed Princess Naval, for whom
the sultan issued an order granting her
that privilege.
One-fifth of the $1,000, 900 families in
France have no children. AS many more
have only one child, and those who have
as many as seven children the number is
only $50, 900.
The latest whin for the owners of dogs
is to make them wear shoes in the house
for the purpose of protecting the polished
floors. They are made of Chamois, with
leather soles
A police photographer in Chicago spent
two hours one day recently in securing a
negative of II female prisoner who did not
want to be photographed, and then it
could not be recognized.
A little girl in Parkersburg, Va, re-
Gently kept 4 4 foot catamount in a
tree for over an hour by vigorously beat
ing the bushes underneath, while her two
big brothers ran home for help.
Mrs. Youngwife: II am so happy. My
dear husband never goes out. He always
stays at home with me in the evenings, -
Female friend: eyes, Ihave heard that
he never cared for pleasure of any kind
The Rev. DR.. Primrose: II hear your
husband is dangerously ILL., I hope he's
prepared if the worst should comeg'
Mrs. Surface: Pm happy to say he is
Pa insisted upon his taking out the policy
before he married me-" Z
Wife: "John love, read one of your
sweet love letters to- day, and came across
passage in which you said, there is nc
one your equal in this wide, wide world J"
Husband, with groan: s'And am still
of the same opinion"
Speaking Of the misuse Of the word
lady, y how would this Bible text Gene.
sis II, o. sound, written in this waya--
"And tho rib which the Lord God had
taken from gentleman, made he lady,
and brought her unto the gentleman"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
ROLL A PUMPKIN,
How the Daughter Got Even With Her
Preacher Father.

How the Daughter Got Even With Her
Preacher Father.
Rev. Mr.. Haynes. one Of the pioneer
ministers of Rutland VT, was famous
for his pithy sayings. states the
Youths Companion. At one time, ac
cording to Royal Tyler, he overheard
his daughter and some young friends
criticising certain neighbors more Sc
verely than was pleasing to him,
whereupon he read them lesson on
the slntulness OF scandal. But.
father demonstrated the daughter
I'VE must say Something"
If you can do nothing BETTER" re-
torted Mr. Haynes dryly get a
pumpkin and roll it about That will
be at least innocent diversion.
Not long afterward a conference of
ministers met at his house. During
the evening an zearnest discussion of
certain points of doctrine arose. and
from the lofty pitch of some of the
voices it seemed as if a part of the
disputants at least were in danger of
losing their temper.
At this juncture Mr. Haynes daugh-
ter quietly entered the room bearing
huge yellow pumpkin. She put it
down in front of her father and said:
There, father roll it about; roll it
about
MIR: Haynes was called upon for an
explanation, and good humor was re-
stored. .-.
At another time revival was in
progress in the parish and some of the
young zealots were ridiculed. They
Wen to him and complained Of certain
scandalous reports which had been
circulated. =.
Il knew ali this before -, said Mr..
Haynes.
why didn't you tell us?' cried one
Of the persons, in an injured tone.
why? My dear friends" said the
old minister his eyes twinkling, be
cause it is best to let satan carry his
own mail and pay his own postage
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14

as all beautiful things must necess 3 !.
lily affect such natures. About m
apartment cluster the court attend ants
waiting to hearthe strange chiM ma IL
music for their amusement. Near him
stands the officers bride, who, as The
czar waves his hand, whispers in his
ear. =s
Courage Peterkin. Play as thor
did'st to the wolves and all will Ia
we'll" 55
Quick to perform it's masters bid a
ding, tho bow quivers across the
strings, and as the music trembles
forth Peterl1in forgets all else. ST.
| lence deepens throughout the great
gilded apartment as waves OF sound
in melodious measures sweep over The
tuneful strings. An unrest grows
the melody snaps asunder. away in
the distance, scarce louder than a,
frightened whisper. howl the wolves
while through it all is the jingle Of
sleigh bells tossed by the leader in the
mad gallop for life. A cry Of anguish
the quick measure of a Polish dance,
and onward the bells jingle in hot
haste e a..s a
Mu11ed hoofbeats sound as the Ay-
ing steeds gallop on u sob as the
loader dies q few brief notes of &C.
stasy and Peterkin, bow in hand, is
kneeling low before the ruler of the
Russias. ..
In the gorgeous choir of St. Isaccs
clad in tunlc of blue and gold Peter
kin is now installed, and his mesters
claim great genius for the little ST.
berian peasant, who unmindful OF
cold or hardship traversed on foot a
thousand miles in that land of snow
and ice. whore he will one day have a
brilliant future. kate E. Thomas in
Kate Fields Washington.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
All the More Reason.

He had met serious losses in bust
ness, and added to that his wife,
whom he adored was snatched away
by death. d .....
He could neither sleep nor eat and
his friends were alarmed about his
condition.
One of them said to him: .You
ought to consult q DOCTOR"
"What's the useP Life has lost all
charms for me and want to de-
you want to diep All the more
reason for calling a doctor. Texas
Siftings. '
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14

Soon after tie picture was com.
pleted Ihackeray CHANGED to be din
ing at his club when pompous
officer OF the Guards stopped beside
tho table and said:
"Haw, Thackeray, old boy, / hear
Lawrence has been painting yer por-
trait
SO he has, was the response
'Full length?''
NO; full-length portraits are for
soldiers that we may see their spurs.
But the other end of the man IS the
principal thing with authors, !" said
yhackeray.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
Undyiny Fame tor d Cook.

Undying Fame for d Cook.
Paris now has its Culinary academy
OR cooks institute writes "a CORE
spondent The members of this hon
orable, if not erudite, corporation
have resolved to petition the municipal
council with the view of getting
street in the city named after the cell
ebrated Careme. Antonio Careme-
the immortal cook who served Talley-
rand. the prince regent of England,
the prince of Wurtemburg and the
emperors Of Russia and Austria-was
a real Partisan, He was born in the
narrow rue de BAG in 1854, aud the
culinary academicians accordingly
urge his claims to municipal or urban
honors with special persistency They
propose that the thoroughfare select
ed to perpetuate the name of the great
gastronomic organizer should oe near
the central market so that the memo
ry OF Careme might inspire with due
emulation the chefs and cordons- bleus
who pay diurnal or periodical visits to
the halles. The rue de Careme would
also serve to engender veneration for
the eminent cook in the minds of all
persons connected with, or visiting
occasionally, the vast Authorization
mart OF the metropolis. Boston Her.
aid
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
The Kind of Answer He Gave,

What was all that scuff1ing about
down stairs?'' asked Mrs. Portly
Pompous as her lord and master
strobe into the room.
Nothing, except. that monkey
faced dude asking for Lucy.''
What did he say?'
He began by saying he was speak
ing from the bottom of his soul, and
so on"
'.And4 what answer did Won Dive
himpn .s,
II grew spasmodic too" answered
Portly Pompous and gave him the
answer from the bottom of my sole.''
Texas Siftings.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
'rhackcrny pldn,t wear spurs.

This story of Thackeray has never
before been published. He was not a
vain man, and he disliked vanity in
others and made it the subject OF his
ridicuie and sarcasm.
After long pleading his family in
duced him to have his portrait painted.
and Lawrence, u famous London art
ist gladly undertook the task.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
KILLED THE PRECIOUS GOOSE,

She Wolves Arc Killed Out in Wisconsin
Only by Accident.
IN some sections of Western Wis
consln, where the star of empire has
neglected to scorch the wild wool
away the wolf industry still thrives,
says a writer in Kate Fields Washing
ton. Dropping in upon the honest
farmer. along in the fall. it would not
be out Of the common run to hear this
conversation:
John. have you fed the cows?"
'Yess'rr'
And swilled tho hogs?"
'Yess'r!"
And stopped the wolves"'
just a going to. dad"
And following the boy you might
see him pour a pail of fresh milk in a
trough of a pen where five as lively
specimens of the young wolf as ever
were seen tumble each other over in
their frantic efforts to be first served.
Follow the man next week with his
bag of wolves and you will cease to
wonder what their use is to be. He
HES him straight to the county audit
or, who, after due Identification of the
wolves. pays him $40 apiece for them,
throws them into the furnace and the
transaction is complete.
Why did the farmer feed them? Oh.
plainly enough. because the summer
bounty is but S., while after the first
of November it is doubled
The farmer and his boys are usually
partners in the wolf busiuess--the
boy catches all the wolves and the
farmer takes all the money.
Hans Hanson, an American bow of
Norwegian Descent took his gun one
day and went out to some wolf caves
in the big bluffs to hunt wolves. After
much patient waiting his unerring rifle
was given chance to show it's merits
upon an old wolf that had incautiously
poked its head out of it's den.'
Hans ran gleefully to the spot drew
out his VICTIM and then his JOY seemed
suddenly to dampen. Taking the wolf
by hind leg, he dragged it home
and into the presence of his father.
The boy wore a detected air, and
there were tears in his eyes as he ex-
claimed. IN mixed language:
20 fader, fader; jag har slagt de-.
she wolf" father: I have killed
the she wolff" and the sons grief was
surpassed by the fathers anger,
which escaped thus:
'Oh. you foolish boy! o. vat I
tell you, to be CAREFUL An now you
har killed mine good she wolf what
have raised me more dan fife hunder
dollars wort O: cubs!'
Their grief, however did not pre-
vent them collecting the usual $40 on
the scalp OF their departed and la
mented benefactress.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
For Crelnlat lonfxts.

The epitaph of the marquis of Mont
rose. written by himself which ap-
pears in Mowbray Morris recent BIZ
ographN is remarkably appropriate
for the present day crematlonists:
Scatter my ashes, strew them in the air
Lord, since thou knowest where all these
atoms are,
IN hopeful thoult recover once my dust.
And confident thou'lt raise me with che
#..-f lust 49,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
THE CHRYSALIS.

My cocoon tightens, colors tease,
I'm feeling for the air,
A dim capacity for wings
Degrades the dress wear
A power of butterfly must be
The aptitude to fly,
Meadows of majesty concede,
And easy sweeps of sky.
SO l must battle at the hint
And cipher at the sign,
And make much blunder if at last
l take the clue divine
Emily Dickinson in the Arkansaw Tray.
eler.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
Poor Jake,

Jake (sorrowfully) Cora as you
directed. | went to make peace with
your father and he made pieces Of me.
N. Y. Herald.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
Too Hot for Mn.

Mrs. Madison Square-You haven't
been inside OF q church since we were
married.
Mr.. Madison Square No; burnt
child fears the FIRE, Texas Siftinps
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1892-04-14
Even One NAV Prove Foo Much

Sritor-I come to ask for your
daughters hand.
Her Father-She is my only daugh-
ter
Suitor-Well. sir one is all ]
want Yankee Blade.