The record-union., 1892-02-17
PORTLAND HAPPENINGS.
BeseIena's Weekly Budget of News
from That City.
A Solid citizen Leaves His Creditors in
the Lurch-Newspaper Men Who
Are Regularly Bribed.

| PORTLAND, Feb. PA prominent
business man, well known in financial
circles and a strict church member, coolly
''feeced" his too-confding friends and
then gaily skipped the town. His nu-
merous creditors, whose name are legion,
are hunting in all directions for the
absconder. but as yet their search has
been in vain. He has been expelled from
the church, and his wife is Frustrated
over the whole affair. This is evidently
an old trick of his. as it is whispered he
left the East just in the nick of time It
is highly probable he has sought the
sheltering soil of Canada, so as to be out
of the laws avenging reach.
Since the doom of the wooden sidewalk,
an edict has gone forth to tear down all
wooden awnings. This is much-needed
improvement, and will give Portland a
more cityied appearance.
! There is wordy war and much bad
feeling among the Indians on the Una
tilla Reservation in Southern Oregon
against their agent. The trouble origi-
mated by the agent complaining Of the
three chiefs, Yah-tIni-ow-itz Poor
Crane), PEG and SisS-mok-mow (No
/ w
! redskins, and in an open letter to our
leading morning journal go for the agents
! scalp. They get the best OF the argument,
and the reservation will hereafter be too
warm for the agents camping ground.
! Our Government seems to think the
Indians have no rights at all, and | am
heartily glad to see they will not submit
tamely to oppression.
yesterday morning another slight col
llslon occurred between two steamers on
the Columbia River. OF course, both
! parties blame each other, and it is hard
TO tell just where to place the fault. One
OF the boats escaped uninjured, but the
other was slightly damaged, yet not
enough to disable her. About $500 will
FULLY cover all. In day or two she will
! be making her regular trips. These So
called accidents are becoming too fire.
quent and an example ought to be made
| now as warning to others.
| The other day a tall, thin young man.
announcing himself as a student called
| at certain house where a room had been
advertised to let and asked to see the
| apartments. The terms, etc.. would have
proven satisfactorily, but he was sud
denly seized with an idea. Turning to
the lady who was showing the rooms, he
| asked: rs this house heated by re-
irlgerator?" He was evidently sure of
his word, as he repeated the question
The lady thought of asking if he sup
posed the house was also cooled by a
heater, but retrained, ard only kept up q
terrible thinking instead.
a certain delegate Of the PRESBYTERIAN
General Assembly, to be held in Portland
next May, characteriZes our city of 1000
lnhaoltants as growing village which
may some day become city, and it was
also intimated that Portland would not
be equal TO the occasion. We are highly
insulted at the idea of being called vii
lage, especially by one who has never
visited our city. However, we comfort
ourselves with the thought that when
the assembly sees Portland the members
will be astonished at the sights awaiting
them.
Our city has one fine theater of which
she can feel justly proud; but unfortu-
nately it's managers will not allow critic
inside the doors unless he is paid bv
them to speak of the play in the most
tiattering terms; and the worse the play,
the more words of commentator it re-
ceives from these paid" critics. When
one wants to find out the real merits of
the piece before paying the absurdly high
price of admission, it is simply waste of
time to read the criticisms in the papers.
Our amusement-loving people should be
protected against this outrage.
A lank Individual, with a Beethoyian
sort of air about him, and carrying in his
hand roll of music, and wearing a slouch
hat, stepped up to certain house and rang
the door-bell. The lady herself answered
the ring.
Madame" said this great unknown.
in sepulchral tone of voice, ST am a
professor of music; allow me to step in
side moment and play upon your
piano."
81 have no piano." said the lady. in
silvery, dulcet tones. For moment the
disciple of the mighty masters of the
ror. No piano The thought was in
suf1erable. Then, as the fact, in all its
awful force dawned upon his brain, he
staggered down the steps and reeled
around the corner like a man who had
received mortal blow. BEsELENA.