The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1892-07-14
THEY KICK!
Everybody on Something and Some
body on Everything.

One compositor was kicking about no
copy, another because be couldn't read
what ne had !; ,he foreman was kicking
on general principles and the devil was
sticking the press when the reporter fled
Ght Office to seek quiet spot where he
might reflect on the proneness OF the
human kind to kick, and where he might
collect his thoughts long enough to
write out ior Ell Hough's benefit that
Miss Blankety Blank, of Blankety, visit
ed Miss Bank over Sunday. And re
Election on this innate tendency toward
a;ickinr broarht with it half way re
aso.ye 10 register al kicks which might
soe coming lusing he rest OF The day.
Number One was comiug out OF the
post office: one oi the storm doors got
Eoose from the boulders which propped
IL open aud smashed Number 0ne in the
lace. 81 don't zee why people don't
Kick on those storm doors there at this
time OF year. There are no present in
dicaJioDs o! d heavy snow fall and th-
e,5ors oJlht to be taken down." said
Mum Der One, and the kick editor agreed
with him
There is one Ting that Hillsboro
people ongh TO kick on," said Number
Two, who Is prominent physician who
wouldn't enjoy good meal ii ne could
mt kick on ii, "and that is this thing of
she County Treasurer going around to
different towns to collect taxes. He is
not required to do it, and the people are
required to come here They would
nearly all do some trading in town if
Ghey came here to pay their taxes, and
Ghe county seat ought TO have the bene
at Of the extra trade" And the kick
registrar wondered ii il wasn'l a fact.
"Say," said North High street resi-.
dent, somebody ought to kick to the
Board of Health about the way those
italian quarrymen are cooped up in that
house on North High street. There is
no objection, SO far, on account of their
conduct, but it is hard 10 believe that
good sanitary condition exists when
thirty men are lodged N four rooms.
by the way, the B. & o. s w. is getting
dollar apiece or thirty dollars month,
rent for that piece of property"
"Yes," chimed in another North High
street man, "and some one ought to
squelch that internal switch engine that
always makes point Of making as much
noise as it can when it gets near High
street."
And if Hillsboro wants to enjoy the
benefits OF my presence here as a resi-
dent any longer" said another, they'll
have to shut down on the night blasting
at the stone quarry. can stand little
thing like one earthquake, but when it
comes to having twelve or fifteen in the
middle OF every night I'll move to Wash
angton @. H. or some other place that is
dead. There is at least quiet there"
'If some one don't 60 down and fix
that Main street plankwalk," said a
young fellow who ought to know the
true condition of the said walk, ''the
corporation VIII nave 10 pay heavy
damages to some fellow and his girl, or
which ever one survives the fall. I was
down there just little while ago with
my life's young dream and was leaning
up against the decrepit old railing when
1t began to fall. Just caught myself,
but the next one might not be 80 lucky.
The whole thing ought b, be fixed up"
The kick editor didn't know about the
railing but thinks:it ought to be fixed if
it's that way.
"You Hillsboro people must be the
most patient in the world" said drum
mcr at the Kramer House. "Why don't
you kick on the B. & o. s. w. dep?
But the reporter kicked when II came
to recording kicks on that subject, and
he dropped his task to join the gang of
base ball 6ends in front OF the Parker
House. ~