The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1892-09-28
sprInkIes of Spice.

Although he took his check book and wrote
and wrote and wrote.
detroit Tribune
THE announcement Of purses for s.
year-olds seems like a bitter Partially
when SO many grown folks have none.
THE school teachers are getting
tan on their checks. Next month
they put rattan on their pupils
Boston Transcript.
SHE thought you told me Mr..
Nixon was man OF regular habits.
He-Wcll, he has been drinking
steadily ever since / knew him.
life.
TOMMY-The lion is carniyorous
animal, amt he, paw? Mr.. Figg-
Yes That is what makes him so
dangerous TO meat. - indianapolis
Journal.
He (anxiou,ly)-"D.d j understand
you to say Miss or Mrs." She de
murely) -"Miss." He (gallantly)-
"Pray, allow me to make it Mrs.
Troy Press.
EDISON has patented 600 inven-
tiOns, but he has TO slap at the sum-
mer fly just as vainly rs anybody else.
Genius cannot do everything. -Balti-
more American.
"NOw," SAID the new reporter, as
his eye followed the track OF the blue
pencil, Il understand what is meant
by an editors line of thought
Washington Star.
DAsHAwAY-How do you like my
ri r.,
any backbone. Why, the fellow let
me have So as soon as | asked him.
New York Herald.
SURFACE - Isn't Bighc rather
young to BE- cynic? ROwley-Oh,
no. He has been graduated year
| and the world hasn't recognized him
yet.--New York Herald.
ROAD AGENT stopping fuucraD-
Hold up y'r hands, / want all tn
money ye've got. Chief Mourner-
Bless me! Here's the undertaker's
bill-collectOr already.
TRAvERs-"How long course does
your son take at college?" Dobson-
That's just the question | asked. He
wrote back that it would be two
miles with turn. New York Sun.
| Mr. WICKwIRE-Herc is something
you ought TO read-an article on
ways a woman can save money. Mrs.
| Wickwire - Does it say anything
about her remaining single?- ndian-
apolis Journal.
| SMITH-You needn't tell me that
dogs don't know as much us human
beings. l took Ponto to church with
me last Sunday. JOnes-YcS? Smith
Well, sir, he slept through the
whole sermon. Life.
Mrs. KEEDIcK (praising young Mr..
Adlet to her daughter)-He doesn't
smoke, drink, or swear. He's good
boy and would be true to you. Miss
Keedic& Shaking her head)-IIes
too good to be true, mamma. Truth.
Il SUPPOSE" observed Harry Ho-
| jack after the doctor had amputated
both arms rs the result Of Independ-
ence Day casualties. IL suppose that
l shall have to learn to shoot cannon
with my toes 10y the next Fourth. ~
Jury.
A SKIPPER claims TO have seen the
sea serpent in the sky. Ii the phe-
nOmenal monster has really been
translated, many an ancient mariner
will experience Il discOuraging loss
Of mat crial for new yarns New
| York World.
Mrs. KEENE-There are times
when | wish / were man. Mr..
| Keene-For instance? Mr.. Kccne-
! When | pass a milliner's window, and
think how happy / could make my
wife by giving her new bonnet
Texas Siftings.
Il HEAR that young Shiny is dying
OF consumption. How does that
| happen when he is such constant
smoker, and tobacco kills the germs
| Of the disease?" "Ob, Shiny doesn't
| smoke tobacco. He smokes cigar
cites. Buffalo Express.
Your husband" said the caller,
sympathizingly, was man of cx-
| cellent qualities. Yes" sighed the
! widow. "he was good man. Every
body says so. | wasn't much ac-
quainte1 with him myself He be-
longed to six lod ycs. Texas Sift-
| ings.
IL WONDER why 1t is" said Old
lobe to his wife, that women pre-
fer drowning and men shooting in
case of suicide?" Il suppose" she
, replied, as she thoughtfully contem-
plated his nose, that il is because
men hate water so. detroit Free
| Press.
DEAR me-" exclaimed Mrs. Begosh,
look at that man comm out OF the
restaurant. He's pickin' his teeth
with his pocket-knife. "Humph.'
replied her husband, "hc probably
wasn't raised where they have forks
| and so he don't know no better
Washington Star.
SHE That couple in front of us
do you think they are married. lie
Yes, | am sure they are. They
have been married a long time, teo.'