The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-08-14
TICKLE BILL VAN LOON.
a Story of Love and Disappointment
IN Pennsylvania

the big hemlook belt, wac approaching a
backwuods farm house that stood near the
road, when a shock-hesded boy. about 10
years old, came running toward me from
the house. lie threw up one hand and
yelled;
ebay therel Hold on a spelll"
1stopped my horse.
0Be YOU a sdulreF he asked eagerly.
was compelled to confess that was not.
Lawyer"
"Not d lawyer, either"
"Not even a dominlel' persisted the boy
looking disappointed.
IN - said |. mot even a dominic"
TINS lis ALFRED hard Iuckl' exclaimed
the boy. We've got Bill In the humor
now, an il you was only a squire or law
yer or dominic we could chncn the thing
right here, an have him hign al dryW
Just then a lean, lank and sallow middle
aged woman came 70 the door OF the house,
and peer1ng over her shoulder was hand
some red-cheek girl, no. more than Is.
? els he squire Simf screamed the wo-
man.
"Naw |" replied the boy, il tone of dis
gust. "He hain't even a dominica"
''Shucksm exclaimed the woman. 'ff we
hadn't a wanted one all-powerful bad Ilst
now, ev'ry squire 10 the township d ben
uosin' round mere 'iectioneerin' and not less
than half dozent domlnles d ben droppin
tn fer dinner, an wantln' yaller leg chick
ems at that. Now, here's Bill, cha Igerbler
THAN milk in a thunder storm, an II we
don't clinch him now it'll be jist ike him
90 back out an Jine his clearin' somere's
elseI Shucks, sayl This ls down hard
iuok, even fer these sun het barrens"
sis some one dyingf' i asked, not know
tang just what TO say, with the light Lad.
MOT p'ticKlar dyIn' fer sure" put IN the
xed-cheeked girl. but jist dyin' TO hev Bill
Van Loon an his olearin' chnched, while
haia in he ~
"Weddin' w remarked the shook-headed
boy, sententiously. "Leastways, there
would be one If you was only squire, or
even a dominic"
They seemed to hold it up against me be-
cause was inconsiderate enough not TO
have been either one or the other.
where's the BRIDE asked the boy. The
red-cheeked girl in the doorway overheard
the question and answered 1t herself.
"I'm nerli she said. "Pervidin' could
git Bill clinched right now"
where's the happy bridegroom
asked
, "Idunno as he's so overpowerin' happy"
said the shock-headed boy; but he's out
with pop, lookIn' the clearin over"
Il was only three miles to Coverly's
Corners and l restored degree Of cheer
fulness to the eager family by saying that
If it would be Of auy services TO them |
would fetch a squire or dominic to their
VIVA SSN%S%
aud back.
''Goah I" exclaimed the red-cheeked girl.
-''If ye do that ye kin kiss the bride Not
powln she said, as l began TO climb down
out Of the wagon. "W hen ye come back /"
an fetch a squire" l said. 'or kill
horsen
The shock-headed boy said he would 90
along to hurry up matters, and on the way
he placed the seriousness OF the situation be-
fore me in graphic detail Bill Van Loon
was young log chopper and bark peeler
who had. by working early and late, saved
up money enough to purchase a decent sort
of farm il tina locality, aud had for some
time been looking for a wife to share It's
burden with him. He was quite a catch,
and the boys pretty red-cheeKed sister Sally
had set her net Tor him. There were sew
eral other red-cheeked girls in the neigh
borhood with designs on that young woods
man, and he had virtually committed him-
self TO three or four Of them, only to change
bis mind Just before the services of the
dominic or the squire we're to be enlisted.
The day the boy bolted me on the Gee
vile road, the fcEle Bill Van Loon had
called on the boys sister, and in q private
confab with her father mad told that gentle
man he liked Sally, and that II her father
would throw in a certain young Jersey
COW he owned he would make Sally his
wife. Sally's father had consented and the
bargain was ratided by Sally, her mother,
and her brother. Then the prospective
bridegroom and Sally's father had gone out
to look the clearing over, and Sally had
seized the opportunity TO remind her mother
of Bills proverbial hckleness, and given it
as her opinion that unless he was ''cinchodn
then and there, there was danger of his
changing his mind before the day was over.
This mad worked the old lady into terri
BILE state, just as hove in sight.
"Mebbe he's a squire, or a lawyer, or a
dominic she had exclaimed, and started
che boy out to hail me, with such disap-
pointing results.
didn't lose any time in getting to the
Corners, for / was interested in having that
pretty, red-cheeked girl cliuch the trifiing
Bill Van Loon, although he didn't deserve
such luck. l wasn't entirely DISTINGUISHED,
either, for Sally had said that could kiss
the bride, and she was decidedly kissable
person. The boy, who seemed TO have
better opinion of a squire's efficiency Ia the
emergency than he had of dominie's, soon
found the former, and back we started with
the important official didn't spare the
horse, and we got back to the clearing in
good time. Sally's mother met US at the
door. She was severe and gloomy.
"Turn round an go backp she said. "Yer
TOO later
Sally sat on a chair kicking her heels
against the floor in a loud aud spiteful tat
zoo. She was sQueaing and sobbing, and
her cheeks were fiery.
81 wouldn't "a ksered a snap" she sobbed,
shut know he'll go an marry that sniff
fin, red headed Kit Cooley, consarn his un-
constant pictur'l An it's all your fault, ye
keeress SIM, you'll" she exclaimed, turning
on her shock-headed and surprised brother.
"Ye went an left hull turnip in the cows
chop, an she went an choked on It'll Boo
wool B-o-o-o-on
The iron hand Of fate had indeed closed
on the family with remorseless clutch.
I was driving my horse well nigh to death.
30 that Bill Van Loon might be clinched
while he was in the humor, what should the
Jersey COW up and do but choke to death on
o turnipl
"Well," the business like Mr. Van Loon
had said, ''of course that's all tina be TO itIn
and walked away to open negotiations else
where
1t had never occurred TO me before, but l
feel 1t now, that a man can't travel in that
part Of the country and do to others as be
would be done by, unless he is either a
squire or a dominic. II had been either
one or tother on that trip, Sally would
have been the mistress Of Bill Van Looms
farm. And better than all, she'd have kissed
mel
THE FARIRS OF INDIA.
Filthy Priests Who Are a Nuisance