The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-11-10
WIT AND HUM0R.

Yes, Mars must be inhabited, else
| who could have painted it red.-IioS-
! ton Transcript
When a grain-feld has got about all
it can hold, it is ready for some mower.
-1eTa8 SJtiRgS.
The genuine tramp. whatever he can
be accused OF. is always prepared for
g rest.-PhiIGdeLpaiG Times
Does your new dress fit you well,
Clara" 80. splendidly, | can hardly
| move or breathe in tn T. Press.
Baseball managers are only human.
They, too, hang on to a pitcher as long
as there's anything in Philadelphia
Times.
He-"My grandfather was a great
General" "Humph. The father
OF my father was a great-grandfather.
-Br0oklyn LIE.
She-'I can sympathize with you.
was married once myself" He
But you weren't married to a wo-
man. "-Br00blyn Life.
Husband-"My dear. there's bur-
glar in the room. | have no revolver"
i IL.
Kate Fields Washington.
Il don't think III ever marry" said
the summer girl. "Why?" because
then I'd have to quit becoming en-
gagged. ~ Washington Star.
The man whe never tells his wife
anything of his business affairs is the
first to make over his property to her
when he fails. .-BoSto7s Post
Mrs. Enpik Marriage is only a lot
terry anyhow" Mr. Enpil-"H H ardly.
A man does get prize sometimes in
lottery. "-DetroH Free Press.
what is your favorite play?" "Ti-
mon Of Athens why, nobody pro-
duces that" Yes. That's the reason
l like it. -Hasbington Star
Milton probably referred to the sum-
mer girls hat when he wrote: The
other shape, if shape it might be cal'd,
that shape had none. Pick.
Mariorie-"I don't see how she could
marry that fellow. Why, paralysis has
made him speechless. Madge-"But,
my dear, his money talks. ~ Y.
SUH.
a mans funeral procession is no
measure Of his popularity All of his
rivals and enemies may be in line and
the rest may be candidates.-Ga GaLcest0n
NelCS.
'Are you in favor of monopoly"
asked the secdy stranger. Yes" re-
piled the young man, "where your
best girl is concerned | am. ~ \.
HrQld.
Mrs. Punc-Tual-"Your clock is al
ways on time Pray how do YOU man.
age it?' Mrs. Slowpay-"Why my
husband got it that way" ."-JcueIerS'
Weekly.
"Do You want to see the Artists
Bluff" asked White Mountain guide.
NO; l 90 to all the art galleries at
home" said the matter-of- fact tourist.
boston Transcript
Foggs says he was never baptized,
bat he went to church where there
was I sprjnkling Of sinners in the con-
grcgation and he was one of them
Boston Transcript.
He Quitting on the ring)-"So glad
you like opals. SO many girls are
afraid of EN-. She (suspiciously)-
How do you know?" He-"Tried EN-"
Auto field'S Washington.
well, if that amt mean" exclaimed
the prisoner. Every one O the sto-
ries in this paper they've gimme to
read is to be continued.' An me to
be hung next week." TIT. Bits
This confinement is killing me-
complained the Russian prisoner. You
ito look pale, commented the guard.
III see that gou get llnouting to-
morrow. ."-Lri'an0poi!s J0lpnGi.
Nickars Why don't YOU have Your
poetry typewriter? You can get
much better idea how it will look in
print" Wickars Certainly. But so
can the editors. -Lqdjanap0liS Jour-
nat.
Twitter-"What's this I hear about
your falling in love with girl at your
boarding-house?" Jack Birdsall-"l
had to do something; and l heard that
love took away ones appetite. ~ !.
Herald.
Young Lady-Mercy me! And 50,
when fast in the jungle, you came face
to face with tiger. 600! What
did YOU do?" Modern Traveller
(proudly) y)-"Photographed it."-N I.
Weekly.
Il can get You job of hauling iron
for a foundry" said the employment
agent. Il pass" responded the idle
man. Il don't intend to be an Iron
Haller the second time, thank you."-
indianapolis Jou,2tai.
He have decided to ask your
fathers consent by letter, Pauline.
Now what sort Of 4 letter would YOU
advise me to make it?" She-"I think,
Horace, that | would make it an an
OnymOuS letter-"-LitG.
r:absley-"D Don't you think you could
live at less expense if YOU paid board
by the week instead of by the meal?"
Mudge-"Yes. l suppose | could, but
its 4 heap easier to pay one meal
than for twenty-one of EN-"
Don't you think Mr. Twiddles is
very absent-minded?" said young
woman. NO" replied Miss Pepper
ton. He displays admirable caution.
What little he has he always brings
with him. > Washington Star.
Jeweler-"This shamrock necklace
is one of the finest pieces of iewelry
in my stock" Mr.. Ncwrich-"That's
all right, young feller; but we don't
want no imitation stones. It's dia-
monds or nuthin. ."--J6,CaIerS' Weekly.
"Got job for ye,' said one roadside
rambler TO another. I've struck it
rich" "How?" "Feller hired me to
steal his wife's pet dog. Now you 90
and see how much she'll give ter Git
the animal back. See?"- Washington
Star.
Summer boarder--"If l don't open
| this window l will sufocate." Land
lady-"If you open it the mosquitoes
! will come in" Summer boardcr fafter
! refection)- Leave it shut. and tele
! phone for the undertaken. ~ Y.
Weekly.
l.