Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1892-09-29

Detroit Tribune
THE announcement of purses for B
year-olds seems like bitter partiality
when so many grown folks have none.
THE school teachers are getting
tan on their cheeks. Next month
they put rattan on their pupils
Boston Transcript.
SHE-I thought you told me MT.
Nixon was man OF regular haDits'
He-Well he has been drinking
steadily ever since l knew him.
Life.
ToMMY-The lion is a carnivorous
animal, amt he, paw? Mr.. Figg-
Yes. That is what makes him SO
dangerous to meat. - Indianapolis
Journal.
He (anxiously)-""Dld understand
you to say Miss or Mrs.?" She (de-
murely)-"Miss. He calamity
pray, allow me TO make it Mrs.
Troy Press.
EDISON has patented 900 inven-
tiOns, but he has to slap at the sum-
mer fly just as vainly as anybody else.
Genius cannot do everything. -Balti-
more American.
"Now," SAID the new reporter, as
his eye followed the track of the blue
pencil, Il understand what is meant
by an editors line Of thought
Washington Star.
DAsHAwAY-How do you like my
friend Hunker? Travers-He hasn't
any backbone. Why, the fellow let
me have So as soon as l asked him.
New York Herald.
SURFACE = Isn't Bighe1 rather
young to be a cynic? Rowley-Oh,
no! He has been graduated a year
and the world hasn't recognized him
yet.-New York Herald.
ROAD AGENT stopping. funeraD--
Hold up y'r hands! / want all tn
money. ye'ye got! Chief Mourner-
Bless mel Here's the undertaker's
bill-collector already.
TRAvERs--"How long course does
, your son take at college?" Dobson-
THAT'S just the question asked. He
wrote back that it would be two
miles with a turn. New York Sun.
MR.. WICKwIRE-Here is something
you ought to read-an article, on
, ways a woman can save money. Mrs
/ Wickwire = Does it say anything
l about her remaining single?-indian-
Y apolis Journal.
! SnTH-You needn't tell me that
Q dogs don't know as much as human
: beings. / took Ponto to church with
I me last Sunday. Jones-Yes? Smith
4 Well, sir, he slept through the
: whole sermon.-Life.
Mrs. KEEDICK (praising young Mr..
Adlet to her daughter)-He doesn't
smoke, drink, or swear. He's good
: boy and would be true to you. Miss
: Keedick Shaking her head)-He's
Z too good to be true, mamma. Truth.
Il SUPPOSE" observed Harry Ho-
4 Jack after the doctor had amputated
both arms as the result OF lndepend-
:, ence Day casualties, Il suppose that
. | shall have to learn to shoot cannon
= with my toes by the next Fourth. -
u Jury.
h A SKIPPER claims to have seen the
lr sea serpent in the sky. If the phe-
nomenal monster has really been
Ie translated, many an ancient mariner
will experience discouraging loss
~
le York World.
10 Mrs. KEENE-There are times
le when / wish / were a man. Mr..
10 Keene-For instance? Mr.. Keene-
s, When pass a milliner's window, and
c. think how happy could make my
or wife by giving her a new bonnet
Texas Siftings.
III at HEAR that Young Shiny is dying
W of consumption. How does thai
happen when he is such a constant
"a smoker and tobacco kills the germs
: of the disease?" ooh, Shiny doesn't
smoke tobacco. He smokes cigar
cites. Buffalo Express.
your husband" said the caller
sympathizingly, "was a man OF ex
cellent qualities. yes" sighed TIT
widow, "he was good man. Every
body says so. wasn't much &C
| ouainted with him myself. He be
longed to six lodges. Texas Sift
| ings.
az WONDER why it is" said ole
lobe to his wife, "that women pre-
fer drowning and men shooting IL
| case of suicide?" Il suppose" sh
| replied, as she thoughtfully contem
| plated his nose, "that it is becaus
j men hate water so."-Detroit Ere
Press.
4 SHE-"That couple in front of us
A do you think they are married?" ii
u Eyes, 1 am sure they are. The
l have been married a long time, too.
4 She-.Why, how do you know" III
4 Haven't you noticed that when
pretty girl comes on the stage sh
- always hands the opera glasses owe
NO right away?"-Somervill Journal.
re, Mr.. JAesBY-My dear, allow m
1ip to introduce Mr.. Bagsby. Mr.
vas Jagsby-I am delighted to meet yol
the Mr.. Bagsby. But do you know, M
tie, Bagsby, that / have so often hear
alf you helping Mr.. Jagsby to get IL
eet front door open when he comes hon
ms late at night, that it is almost IL
rec same as meeting an old friend. Il
dianapolis Journal