The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1892-01-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

Brown is fellow who loves to put himself
forward on all occasions. Not long ago he in
gagged stranger in conversation in hotellobby
and after few minutes he remarked, excuse
me, but your name, please?"
Brown" replied the stranger graciously.
sAh, mine is Brown afso,' he chirruped with
a pleased smile. 4
'sPiaase to meet you, Mr.. Also,' he said very
quietly, and Brown was flabergasted.-Det
Free Press.
No quackery; nothing injurious; sure cure;
doctors prescribe it; druggists sell; all who
have tried 1t commend Atli-lo-pho-ros as spe-
cifc for rheumatism, neuralgia and sciatica.
Too Neighborly.
Mr.. Moveoft-Well. my dear, how do you find
the neighbors here-sociable?
Mrs Moveoft-Very. Three or four of them
have sent in to ask if we would allow their
children to use our piano to practice on.-NeW
York Weekly.
Halls Remover is the natural remedy for gray
hair, dandruff and badness.
A Mystery.
Mr. YoungAusband Coming home finds his
wife at the stove)-So you are doing your own
cooking? Tell me, now. what is that you are
cooking at that stove, Molly?
MoIly-You mustn't have so much curiosity.
don't know myself yet what it is going to be-
Texas Siftings.
One of my children had very bad discharge
from her nose. Two physicians prescribed,
but without benefit. We tried Ely's Cream
Balm, and, much to our surprise, there was a
marked improvement. We continued using the
Balm, and in a short time the discharge was
cured.-O. A. Cary, Corning, N. Y.
The Place for Conversation.
my dear" said Mrs. Chatterly to Mrs. Chit
terly, II have so much to tell you, but can't
stay stEb now % wifi, nc to tDe onera TOMORROW
night" suggested Mrs. Chitterly.-Puck.
The blood-cleansing qualities of Ayers Sar-
saparlla render it Invaluable in skin disorders.
Neighbor Woman-YOur dog was chasin' our
chickens this mornin' an l jest want you to
understand that's got to stop right now!
Mrs. Midi did not see the dog out of our
Neighbor Woman-He wasn't. The chickens
was In your yard.-Street s. Smiths Good
News.
The chiIdren's health must not be neglected
Cold in the head causes catarrh Ely's Cream
Balm cures at once. 1t is perfectly safe and is
easily applied into the nostrils. The worst
cases yielding to it, Price soc.
Asking Great Sacrifice.
Bingo-Tm going to bring my wife round to
call on you tonight.
Witherby-That's right; but do me favor,
old man. Don't let her wear her new sealskin
Jacket. do not want my wife to see it just
Bingo (grimly)-Why that's what we are
coming for.-NeW York Press
Speakers, singers, and actors use Ayers
Cherry Pectoral; also, Ayers Almanac
Makes Difference.
Brown-You were saying the other day that
there was always car at this crossing; but VIC
have been here twenty minutes, and not a car
has come along.
Fogg-Ah but you want to take a car today.
] only referred TO occasions when you wanted
to cross the street.-Boston Transcript.
THE RESULT OF MERIT.
When anything stands test of fifty years
among discriminating people like the Anler-
cans, it is pretty good evidence that there is
merit somewhere. The value OF a medicine is
best proved by its continued use from year to
year by the same persons and families, as well
as by steady increasing sale. Few, if any,
medicines have met with such continued sue
cess and popularity as has marked the intro
ductien and progress of BRANDRETHs PILLS
which, after trial of over fifty years, are coll
coded to be the safest and most effective purga-
tive and blood purifier introduced to the pub
lie.
That fills is the result o. merit, and that BRAN
DRErH's PILLS actually perform all that is
claimed for them, is conclusiveIy proved by the
fact that those who regard them with the great
est favor are those who haze used them the
longest.
BRANpRErHs PILLS are sold in every drug
and medicine store, either plain or sugar coated