St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1892-11-26
ovMmow Fitch OF BACON.


that have survived for moro than eight
hundred years. bat assuredly among
these that Of Dunmow Fitch occupies
an honored place. Toward the end of
the nineteenth century Il appears to ap.
peal as much to the national sense Of
humor rs it did six hundred years ago.
Some time about then Chaucer made his
wife Of Bath say In her immortal pro
logue: r..-u. .-F a.-t -Iis...
Tho bacon was not set for him trow
That oo0e men nave In Essex at Dunmow.
Mondays proceedings showed that
the Jest il rs well received in the Essex
Of to-day a ever Il was For months
past the ALLEGATION of the fitch has
been a common topic Of conversation
among the country folk. At first il
seemed n though there were to be
quite . deluge Of applicants. No fewer
than eight couples limited that they
meant to put in a claim for the cele-
brated fitch, but as tho crucial mo
ment arrived the members were gradu-
ally reduced to two. and Monday after
noon tho chief event in Dunmow wos
the trial Of these two claimants to the
celebrated fitch. .........5
It may be as we'll TO say At once that
in the modern contests all the ancient
forms arc carefully disregzrdcd.- For
example, it Is no longer the married
couple who have been married for a
year and q day who ask for tho fitch;
instead of the presentation being made
by the priory at Little Dunmow or by
the lord Of Dunmow, il is made by a
firm Of city bacon curers: and in the
ceremonial that attends the awards
still more important changes have been
made Long ago anybody might put in
a claim. All that was required was
that the husband and wife should de-
clare that
You never made any nupttnl transgresst0o.
Since you were married man and wife
Or since the parish clerk saii -Amea."
Wished yourselves unmarried again:
Or In . twelve month and . day =
Rcpented not in thought any way.
For this Is our custom at Dunmow well known.
Though the sport be our own the bacon's Jour
of old the claimants had to kneel ON
sharp flints at the priory Of Little Dun
NOW and VOW that these things were
true. All is changed now. rs the fol.
lowing account will show:
Monday the sport followed show Of
pony-racing and other rural diversions.
1t was under the patronage Of Lord and
Lady Brooks. and did not begin until
they arrived ON the scene. The tent
where the award took place was then
transformed into an excellent burlesque
Of q court of justice.
A lawyers clerk acted Us Judge: the
local corn merchant, in appropriate
dress. was counsel for the claimants; an
auctioneer conducted the case for the
donors. Six maidens and rs many
bachelors formed the jury. The crowds
that thronged the tent proved that the
monumental Jest that has amused En-
gland for seven hundred years or more
is still rs Interesting rs ever to the gem
ersl public. ~;t
Upon the platform there were two
couples who claimed the fitch, one be-
ing old, the other young: and the begin
ners were taken first. Certainly the
corn merchant. who acted as barrister,
made ont an excellent case for his
youthful clients By examination he
showed that they had known one
another for ten or twelve years before
marriage, aud that the husband was fond
Of children and not At all Quarrelsome.
These two (the mau was thirty-six and
the wife younger) avowed that their
advice to all spinstcrs and bachelors
would be to get married. and they could
in all honesty take the bacon; at
which there was . laugh that sounded
incredulouk
Yet the auctioneer or opposing coun-
sci could not break down the evidence.
For the husband swore that he had no
club and never went to the theatcr
without his wife: that she'never grum-
bled when he came home late aud never
discovered . will contrary TO his. The
wife on he. part swvfe ttss., tss.,-. her nus
band always got up most cheerfu!ly in
the middle of the night il baby was
crying. and that neither cold dinners
nor washing day reused his temper. No
cross-examination was able to shake
this evidence.
Although the counsel for the donors
suggested al kinds OF Offense, it was
stoutly denied that any trouble had
arisen in the matrimonial affairs Of the
two. and though the jury retired to
consider their verdict the facts were
not to be gainsaid, and the fitch was
swsrictl. Yet it was easy TO sec that q
goOd-humored cynicism was mingled
with the cheers that greeted the award.
But, indeed, curious'y frank out
spokennesss was the most obvious
characteristic of the audience.
When the herald opened the proceed.
ings with his 20. yes! O, yes! All ye
who have complaints approach his lord
ship O. yes. o. yes- there were peals
Of laughter. Shouts Of ''Speak up.
Guv'nor: let's hear what you're saying.
old man!' interrupted the Judges sum-
ming up; and when the first fitch WAS
awarded, ''For the biggest ie-what
do you think?" was cried BY the back
seats
The second applicants were IN old
couple whom even the opposing barris-
ter blushed to oppose. United their
ages amounted to one hundred and City,
and for twenty-five years the husband
had been in her majesty's service. He
was compared to the old Adam Of "As
You Like It." and vowed that In his
hottest youth he had never been false
TO his Mary Jane. In this case opposi-
ton to the granting of the bacon was
purely . matter. u form. and, indeed.
the discussion served no other purpose,
as far - one could see. except 70 allow
the intEeductaon Of certain very obvious