The morning call., 1892-09-04
Miss Russell Considers a Few of the Lin
guistio vagaries Of the Average Re-
porter Of Turf Matters.
Written for THE MORNING CALL.

T6U, anu n6 Spollcu pin MAUI III icplccou-
tation Of jockey cap aud whip; his sleeve
links were horses heads and riding-croDs.
and he carried cane with miniature leg
and hoof for handle.
Greetings over, he sat down on a step of
the side porch and began TO chat "Been
t the races" he promised OF course l
was interested, and asked how he had en-
joyed the events. 81 didn't know you cared
for horses" l said. somewhat surprised
"Oh, my. yes" was his re ply. I'D ruther
see boss trot than eat" Iadmitted that
/ myself saw nothing very interesting in
Watching a horse eat. "Oh. pshaw," he
said, II meant than to eat myself" l
thought his modification open to some slight
objection, as | presumed even his enthu-
siasm would abate at the prospect Of eating
himself. but let that pass and merely asked
how the day bad gone.
''lmmensel 1mmensei 1t was a meet,
now, | can tell you. Nothing like il this year.
The biggest thing up was q tbree-c0rnered go
between Scarlet Trumpeter, Blue Bottle and
Blnnie. Blnnie was on top to begin with,
and the talent played their good money on
"Whatdid they do with their bad money"
| asked.
Showed it onto Blue Bottle" was the
prompt reply. THAT boss is nothing but
sprinter from Sprinteryiile. i sized him up
in n minute. He's got no legs anyway, and
there's too much daylight under him TO suit
me-"
mo legs? Dear me- How could they
enter such n creature? What does he travel
on, and how did he get the daylight under
him ?"
"Oh. come; you're only playing of.
high from the ground. Too much space be-
tween the ground and his body, see?"
"Ah, yes. Then when you say he has no
legs you mean he is too well fitted with
them"
"Of course nobody supposed him to
be a monstrosity. but he might as well
have no legs as to have such long, thick.
eucalyptus stamps as he travels on. Now
there's Binnie; tell yon what il is. she was
hot stuff all the way through. She lay last
of the crowd on the start. but she picked
up at the half, and in the last quarter gave
IL TO 'em hot on the tiptoes. l played my
good money on her next time, you bet, for
could see she was game all through. Same
way next heat, but Blue Bottle went If IN
a tangle, like the plunger lie is, and Bianie
just came skiying down by him. and opened
up big gap on Trumpeter."
"Graciousl How did she do itP Was he
disabled?"
"Mercy, no; don't you understand at
all? mean she headed HIM, don't you see?
but he let out a link and they came
even AU uOWu iDf HPmtStItLCUs IL was NIP
and tuck, but l looked to see Binnie get
there. when all al once she went up in the
air, and"
Mercy on usl Do you mean to say she
few?"
mo. no. She left her legs, and"
"W0rse and worsei Where did she leave
them? Not on the track. / hope; the other
horses might stumble over them"
Il declare. for a sensible woman-well,
never mnd-we'll talk about something
else" And he lapsed into silence with an
abused air.
"No. indeed" urged. 81 assure You l
am deeply interested In this account. Let
me see. You were saying Binnie left her
legs aud went up in the air"
"Yes. broke all up. don't you see? and of
course It ruled her out and Scarlet Trum-
peter got the heat, and / must say he de-
served it. fer the way he closed up that
streak of daylight she let in on him showed
him a bumper"
II should have thought it might, but
can't see how. with her legs gone and she
all broke up and scattered in the air, the
talent could have got their good money
back on Binnie."
"Oh, come now. don't chat a fellow ahy
more. You know L only meant she broke
her trot on the homestretch and got left"
SO the only flights were those of his
broken was the kings English after
all l listened patiently while that
| fatuous youth discussed for nearly an hour
| in the language of the rubbing shed ana
betting ring which he had mistaken for
| turf techncaities. He said 'hoss" for
| horse; not one Of the animals had made
record. but had all ''got marks" He told
me how certain great PAGER ''sidewheeled
| down the homestretch like creased light
| ming" and how another mighty trotter
"fought like tiger for his head aud finally
| went Off with H." At last laid a trap for
| him. He was talking about "filly colt"
| he owned. and who was al that moment
running with her dam. but who, he c0nfided
| TO me his hope. would yet be lightning
catcher" NV trap was an innocent one.
| How old Is she ?" / asked "She was
| born last March," was the prompt reply.
| Gently | limited TO him that ii was not Gus
| tomary in weli-posted circles to speak of
| the young of the equine species as being
born. He blushed with modification at his
bad break" "Oh. yes" he said hurriedly.
81 know all about that-l meant she was
| folded in March," / was almost certain
| should catch him and expose his ignorance.
| Your stable-boy almost invariably says
horse colt or flly colt when he wishes to
| designate the sex Of a foal, and these
| little creatures are to him not fOals
but folds, while he speaks with the
| utmost sincerity of their being folded
when Ire means foaled. My quasi-turfy
| young friend had probably picked up these
| expressions from some rubber" or hostler
| whose acquaintance he had male. The
| s'hot stuff" and all the rest of the nonsense
| he had doubtless got out of the sporting
| columns of the newspapers. The horse re-
| porters of "the great moral engine" seem to
| delight in yelling their accounts OF matters
| equine in language so technical and express
| sions so vague that the lay reader becomes
| toe bewildered to follow and the profess
| sional reader too disguised 10 take In terest
| in most of the stuff written by this frater-
| nifty A few weeks ago the turf editor
| of San Francisco daily that prides
itself upon giving the cream OF the
| news regarding turf and sporting matters,
| in describing a string OF horses at a certain
| trotting meeting, said that the sunshine and
| grass OF their native country had made
| leyiathans" of them. This struck me as a
| Transformation greater than the one wrought
| in Nebucchadnezzar and was eagerly curl
Gus TO see these land quadrupeds that had
| been changed into whales By the mysterious
4 influence OF sunshine and grass. As it
| turned out, however, they were just ordi-
nary, aforementioned representatives OF
the species. and the freak was only Of the
| reporters imagination.
Almost as good as this Is BIT Of deserip-
| ton written the other day by the New York
| Herad's horse reporter In regard to Don
| Alonzo, winner Of the Junior Champion
| stakes. Says this astute observer: His
| appearance is too much against him. He
| has been called grand locker. Ii alb
| normal height and wonderful back ribs
| constitute the beau ideal of thoroughbred
| then he takes the palm, but according TO all
| accepted ideas he lacks liberty to a marked
| degree, and is exceedingly short in his
| couplings. In fact, he is built more on the
| lines Of giraffe than a horse, and it will
| indeed be a surprise IL his career In the
| future should prove him to be anything but
| Splinter"
| read this paragraph over several times
| and noted with pain that at each reading
my comprehension of its meaning became
| less.
| Now here is q freak with vengeance.
/ never heard liberty" cassed among the