The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1892-08-19
A COMEDY OF srArs
A Combination of Pretty Girls, AdmlrlnB
Men and an Old woman.

men ana an Old woman,
The car--it was Fourth avenue
one bowled along merrlly says the
New York Herald. 1t so happened
as strange things do sometimes hap
pen in this prosaic world that all the
seats on one side OF the car were oc-
cupled by men and all the seats on
the other sidc by women. TIE wO-
men were all young and pretty. too
Now, when man is riding in a street
car pretty face is always cheering
sight to see but when there are q
dozen lovely faces to contemplate the
Joy is proportionately increased. So
rene enjoyment was depicted on the
face OF every man In the car For
gotten were all the ordinary cares
that intest the day. No man was In q
hurry to reach his destination. In
fact there was much inward rejoicing
at tho lack Of rapid transit Into
this temporary abode OF bliss hoped
a shrill-lunged newsboy. When no
perceived that not a man on the car
had u newspaper his eye lit up
with joyous expectancy. 'Extree!
oxtree" he shouted hercely and
gleefuily, Full account OF do 'orri-
BILE disaster n loss OF llfe.n But the
men only scowled at him. ''Wots dc
matter wild de blokes?" he asked OF
the conductor before leaping of the
train. Can't you seeP" cried the con-
ductor contemptuously; "dey's taking
in de pretty girlsP Dere's do greatest
lot OF EN- on dis car ever carried"
An old woman entered the car She
was fat and she was homely and she
waddled rather than walked. No man
rose to give her u seat Each man
felt that his neighbor might be har-
boring SONS such intention and feared
to anticipate him, The old woman
wadlled to the end OF the car heaved
u sigh and caught on to a strap.
Pray take my seat madam. " said
one Of tho prettiest OF the pretty girlA
rising. "Oh, thank you, " replied thu
old woman, gratefully; but It's
shame TO deprive you OF it. II l
wasn't so old but perhaps one OF the
gentlemen will give you a seat" 'In-
deed " SAID the pretty girl smiling
and thereby making herself look more
bewitching than before II couldn't
think OF accepting one from any Of
them. They arc all so Greadiully
tired. F" Half Of tho do on men had
started simultaneously 10 rise. They
dropped back into their seatA
looking sheepish and detected. And the
half dozen that hadn't begun to rise
looked equally unhappy. A change
had como DER the spirit OF their
dreams A pretty face is not cheer
ing sight to 500 when you know that
its owner ontertalns very small
opinion OF you. And every nun in
that cur felt that every woman in the
car including tho one who was old
and fat held cheap opinion OF him.
Instead OF seeking tho pretty face OPP
poslte their eyes fell on the floor.
Another newsboy boarded tho car
'Extreel j. troe"' no yelled Full
account OF de 'Orribe disaster n awful
loss OF llfel lilo didn't have TO yell
n second time Every man was In
hurry to read that taie OF disaster 80
much so that they all actually buried
their faces behind tholr newspapers
And tho pretty women all exchanged
smiles and looked very much tlcsled
NJ something Golly" said the
newsboy TO the conductor, II struck
II rich that time didn't I?' You
bet" said the conductors "but yoa
owe 1t all 10 do old woman"