Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-05-13
PITH AND POINT.

A receiving teller-A photograph.
Tides in the affairs of men naturally
come under the head of current events.
The man whose name is most often
under cloud is the umbrella maker."-.
| Puck.
"AIy face is my fortune, SIR" she
| said. ''You must be in debit said the
man ill-bred.
Law is dry study; but the moisture
of tears seems to have much effect on q
jury.-Puck.
The carpenter is not always mathe-
matician, but is handy with his 'sadz."
columbus Post.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
but presence causes it to glow like full
moon.-Texas Siftings.
The philosopher can be plain amongst
men; but no man can endure with, pa
thence woman's slur about his clothing.
Puck.
| OF the man who is his own worst
enemy it can hardly be said that we love
him for the enemy he has made. Boston
| Transcript.
GIL az Joul SSEflCc, uli dll, as LQe
burglar said when the lady of the house
caught him stealing her silverware.--
Texas Siftings.
He-"You didn't know L was color
blind, did you2" She-sI suspected it
from the neckties you wear. "-Clothier
and Furnisher.
| Yabsley-"Does your wife ever
choose your clothes for you?" Wickwire
mo; she merely picks the pockets"
indianapolis Journal.
al have pair of suspenders for every
pair of trousers I've got," he said.
"Gracious how many pairs of suspend
ers have you got2" "One pair "-New
York Press.
"No, my son, it is not always polite
| to tell man what you think of him. II
us safer to tell it to somebody else, and is
Just as effective in most instances. p
Boston Transcript.
"Papa, why does the drum major of
a band wear that big thing on his head2n
"Because the natural size of his head is
not equal to the occasion, my SON. -
| Baltimore American
Probably the reason why people are so
liberal in their praise of men after they
are dead lies IN the fact that tlattery is
not likely to give dead man the big
head.-Boston Transcript.
"Alary, wish you would be
more careful. am very sorry to hear
my wife has to scold you so often"
Mary-"Oh, don't you mind me, sir.
| don't take any notice of it."--Comic.
asked her for her heart and hand.
| And smiled to see the bushes gently start:
her answer helped me understand:
you hold my hand-but have lost nv
heart"
New York Herald.
cit was all very we'll for the poet to
talk about "a perfect woman, nobly
planned, said Mr.. Arreers sadly, "but
the trouble is that it takes such a lot of
money to carry out the plan. Boston
| Post.
| IT'S sad how deep into Oblivion go
Some books we thought would shine on
every shelf:
! To-day, while looking throu rb NV xvorys
found
Two that wrote,and then forgot myself.
Puck.
Elder Sister-''I must drive around
to Hose & NIantle's; 1 hear they have
quite new thing in gloves" Younger
Sister (sweetly) 'Indeedl And when
you get them on it will be quite an old
thing in gloves, won't it, darling."-
Comic.
sis it true" said the reporter, rushing
breathlessly into the railroad superin-
tendent's office, "that there was tieup
on the road last night2n "Yes," re-
sponded the official, 'sthere. was. Our
agent at Buzzards Fork married his
typewriter. st. Joseph News.
Beggar lstanding in front of an exhl-
bitlon of paintings, to stranger about to
enter with lighted eigaD- "a say,
mister, there's no smoking allowed inside
yonder; but if you'll give me twopence
l don't mind keeping your cigar a-burn-
ing till ye come out again. "-Dorfbar-
bier.
Mrs. Wickwire-"Next Wednesday is
brother Edwin's birthday, dear. Don't
you think we ought to make him q pres
Ient2' Mr.. Wickwire -"Lemme see.
He has been visiting US about two months
now. Guess I'll give him real nice.
HANDY travelling satchel. Eh?"-Indian-
apolis Journal
Everything goes wrong !" comp'ained
Belleheld. Nothing that touch sue
ceeds.n az wouldn't feel that way ifI
were you," replied Shiugess. "But I
can't help it." "You must try to. You
should always look on the bright side of
things" "I dare MT. The doctor says
brightness will injure my eyeslght."-
Pittsburg Chronicle.