Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-02-17
TAKING A SMILE.

pIOlllDlllOu Sldlb.
was lying on sofa the other day
uxuriously enveloped in sheet, il
the cooling room of q Turkish bati
establishment. There were two other,
who were also cooling off, and righ
here | beg to state, for fear of a mis-
understanding about the matter, that
the reason | was there was to get rid
of cold that had just started, anC
which, if generally taken in time, il
arrested by means Of a Turkish bath
regret to say, however, that | rarely
get there in time. One of the men had
not come in to get rid Of q cold. He
had had no sleep for couple of nights
he said, and was feeling rather under
the weather. believe that somewhere
uptown there had been an all-night
poker game, with the accomplishments
Of stimulants, and this victim of poker
had felt rather rocky, and SO went to
Turkish bath to sort of revive him.
"See here" he said to the attendant
II want you to send out and get me q
good whisky cocktail"
The attendant looked aghast.
"My dear SIR" he said ''thst is not
allowed in this establishment"
"Whst is not allowed?" asked the
man.
1--WE are not allowed to send out for
any liquors"
"Well," " said the cooler off, in tones
Of deep disgust, "this is fine bathing
establishment"
"Yes, SIR" said the attendant, oit
10 considered the finest in town"
"In townr cried the other. elm
the village, you mean. Why, it's the
only place in the United States that a
man can't send out and get what he
wants. i tell you I've got to have
whisky cocktail, and l AM going to
have it."
"Oh, you can have it all right"
answered the attendant.
every well, then, 1 want it just
now"
"You can have it all right, but not
ill after you get out"
"NOw, see here" said the man, in
an insinuating tone of voice, "there is
dollar In this thing for you. You send
out on the quiet and get me whisky
cocktail. 1t will be all right, nobody
will ever know anything about it."
al can't do it," said the attendant.
"It's strictly against orders and, be-
sides, the proprietor wouldn't allow it.
It's no use, you had better go to sleep"
"Where is the proprietor?"
"He's in the next room. I'll call
him, if you like"
"Well, l wish you would do SO. !
want TO see what the reason is for such
an idiotic arrangement as that. This
IL the first Turkish bath place that 1
WAS ever in that couldn't get what /
wanted"
The proprietor came in and was
very susve and soothing, but he was
perfectly firm on the liquor question.
No whisky cocktails could get into the
doors of that establishment, not while
he was proprietor.
The up-sll-night man pleaded and
begged and swore, and threatened
never to come there again, and tried to
sppei to the proprietor's better nature,
but Ii VAS no go. No whisky would
be allowed in the cooling room. The ::
man thought deeply for a while and
finally again sent for the proprietor.
"Ssy," he asked, "hsve you a tsle- |
phone here"
"Oh, yes" answered the ownsf et |
the place.
"Well, 1 wish you would do me the
kindness to ring up my friend, Jacob
Strauss. Tell Jake, when you get
HIM, that Pm here at your bathing es-
tablshment and / can't get down for
an hour. TIL him to postpone that
appointment for another hour at
east"
can right. What did you say the !
name was2"
"Strsuss-Jacob Strauss"
GAN right"
The proprietor seemed all the more
anxious to please his guest as he had
had to refuse him the necessities of
life short time before. But after q
while he came into the cooling room
and said, as he held the telephone
book in his hand:
81 can't find any Jacob Strauss
here"
"Oh, he must have q telephone"
Said the bathcr
ait isn't in the book, then" 1.
"Well, thunder, how am 10 get >
nensgs to himi have an appoint
- H0 hin IN sbou: .ss inmates, u