The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1892-01-09
WIT AND HUMOR.

not marry the best man on earth. They
didn't anyway. Binghdn1t0n Leadcr.
We have noticed that the more i'm
..acticable and hopeless an ambition
Is, the more energy fool will put in
it.-AtchiS0H Globe.
A career of extravaganza does not
necessarily bring man sackcloth, but
1t is more than likely to bring him to
hashes. - Washington Star.
The woman you would call poem
is not the woman you would call in the
morning TO kindle the fire and fry the
slapjacks.-Richmoad Recorder.
About this time the small boy per-
suades himself that the eighth COM
mandment was never meant to apply
to fruit.-Binghdmton Republican.
He-'I have had you in mind good
deal lately. Miss Helen" She-"You
always did try to make me feel small.
Mr. Chumply. ."-Broob'yn Life.
Frank (pleadingly)-"I never kissed
girl before in my life" May (cold-
ly)-"Well, | haven't advertised for
apprentices have IPn-N. \. Herald
How many seconds are in n min
uteo' DO you mean real minute,
mamma, or one of your great big wait
nutcsP"-lndiHnapoiis Journal.
Mabel-"What shall do for ball
dress this wintcrP' Juia-"Oh. just
put skirt on your bathing suit and
you'll be all right. .'-B0Ston Courier.
The chances are that a long-felt want
Is about TO be flied. A HoDoken man
10 i, a
whistle attachment. - lOH6grS StIteS-
man.
Plumbers are not wholly conscience
less. They never charge for the holes
they make in your BATHROOM carpet
with their melted solder Hictn10Hd
Recorder.
Dick Hearty-"Will you marry mc?n
Bella BIucrbbon-"Do you drlnk?'
Dick Hearty-"Yes. and eat. too. /
see there no hope for me. Good-by."
Puck.
You seem to be taking things easy"
said Father Time TO the Fool Killer.
Yes" was the reply, the parachute
jumper is looking after my business"
~ !. SHn
Daughter Father. Mr. Hendricks
Is a very bright young man Father
He must be. ! notice that You
never have light in the parlor When
he calls. ."-S Seuttle Soundtnys.
Miss Coquette- Have you matchP"
MIR. Flint - Mol" Miss c. - What
shall we do?' Mr.. F.-'Let's make
would be the stick, | supposeP P'-Lys.
MY dear. do you think my voice
needs cultivation?n Il thought it was
getting it, darling. am sure heard
narrowing sounds Wien you were
singing just now.n-Baittmore Ameri-
can.
You haven't anything TO support
wife on. said Ethei's father. Il didn't
know but what with your help Ethel
might he asSiStcr TO me, returned
chappie. And The old man smiled as
sent.-N. }. Nerdld.
Weary Watkins" "Dinged ii don't
believe there's something in the sayin'
that a drunk man is allays lucky"
Hungry higgins" He's lucky so far
IA the drank i concerned. anyhow. -
Laatal1pJitS JJUrHH.
He (>nlesmnn) - Dear little hand
fnb>.:ut niud,dN | wonder if it will
wash Sc econ spirito) Mo- sir
l. wnu't-uor ~ won't scrub either
put # YOU want ii to play the piano,
is yours Geurgc. '-LVc.
lu-hier-"Oh. papa! I've just got
the most lovely Yachting costume you
ever saw. Papa (busily)-'I IN glad
yuu il>" ir.' DIughter-"lts just too
sweet tor anything. Now all we need
l. a ,ar.I."-A J. H,e%y.
He stepped on your dress. You
must thiuk me perfect bear. She
oh. no. Mr.. Bashful. you don't re
mind ne in the least Of bear And
he has been wondering ever since VIVA,
she meant. Detroit Free Press.
He-"What allowance do YOU thin k
your father ought TO make us when we
are married?" She - We'll, If he
makes allowance for your faults
think he will be doing all that can be
expected of him. Brooklyn Life.
ANY success in your agricultural
enterprise this season. Jellaby?" Do
Ing timely, thank you. Got the hay.
fever and sealed proposals from all the
widows in the neiIhborhood TO remove
their weeds. Baltimore i'm ricdn.
Critic-''Say, what's the matter with
that love scene in the second actl
Same people you had last year, ain,
thev?" Managcr-"Yes. but hang it.
they went and got married soon after
we played here last season. - Boston
NeWs.
What are you doing out there,
Jennie?" shouted her fat1rr. I'm
Just saving good might In Grnrg".
well. a. it takes YOU 50 long ! will
say it for YOU. Good night Geur@c.
George went 20 qp'ct!y that he forgot
to rep.y.-N. !. Press.
IA. Jon"Sv, old man" said Hicks.
as he AMI Jones walked home from the
Queen CITY club. there's a light in
your window for YOU. You married
men-" BY George. so there isr
returned Jones. Let's 70 back 10 the
club. - Cincinnati Commercial.
Yes" remarked the young man
Miss Caster is truly n fortunate young