Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-12-08
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to-
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughable.
Tea Table Talk.

Tea IaDIe Talk.
AN adder's bite-the bank clerks
lunch.-Lampoon
THE bars of music are found in
music halls. -Picayune.
A NIGHT lark is followed by the
morning swallow. - Boston Trans
cript
WE expect the fellow with plenty
of sand to get his deserts. Elmira
Gazette.
THE man who is riddled with bull
lets generally gives it up. -Philadel-
phia Record.
WHEN barber talks too much his
stories are generally illustrated with
cuts. Texas Siftings.
TINE is nothing to a country cor
net band at a political demonstration.
Los Angeles Express.
WHEN a disease is we'll seated it
becomes a standing meuace against
health. Boston Courier.
JAGsoN says some fellows never
seem to have gained ground till they
are buried. Elmira Gazette.
"HE is an artist by profession
81 know that; but what is he by oc-
cupation?"- Washington Star
"WAs the temperance orator anus
ing?" Eyes, he had a good deal of
dry wit. "-Philadelphia Record.
A MAN who is in society and who
wants to keep in must be continually
going out. -Yonkers Statesman.
WHEN there is nothing in a mans
scheme it makes no difference wheth-
er or not the bottom drops OUT
Picayune.
STANDING on ones dignity is us
uncertain way to get along IN this
world as walking on stilts.-Atchi-
son Globe.
JAGsoN says the only thing in his
house that doesn't seem to collect
dust is his boys savings bank. Eli
mira Gazette.
GAY-'The Widow Weed wears
very heavy mourning" Day es;
but she doesn't feel as black as she is.
dressed. Puck.
HAIR DREssER-"What shade Will
madam have re hair dyed lis time?"
Mrs Taddles Gin a Whisper)-"keep
it dark. "-Tid-Bits
A JUDGE should be careful in MAX
ing promises. 1T is his business to
commit others and not himself
Yonkers Statesman.
THERE are some men who can't
take home a beefsteak without be-
lieving they are taking their wives
present. -Atchison Globe.
You may speak as you will of pedi-
gree generally. but in the sleeping-car
it's mans berth which raises him
above his ellows.-Siftings.
TROUBLE and kin and cats arc
about the only thing man can have
that other people don't try to get,
away from him. -Atchison Globe.
The telephone is said to have been
| known in India for thousands OF
years Yet there has been very little.
| talk over il. Rochester Democrat.
A WOMAN may not acknowledge it,
| but in wearing a shoe one size too
small for her she realizes that she has
| 'put her foot in it. Boston Courier.
FoGG says he should like to see a
| man who, loving his neighbor as him
self, is as cOnSiderate Of his neighbor's s.
dogs as of his own hens Boston
Transcript.
LADY friend Ito Mrs. Newlywcd)-.
| Well, how do you like your fiat?
| Mrs. Which do you mean.
the one | married or the one ! live;
| in?-Tit-
PROF. SWIFT, Of the Warner Uni
versity, says there are six comets
now visible in the heavens-a regular
| posse comet at us, as it we're -Ihila
delphia Ledger
MAMMA well die you tell God
how naughty you have been?" Lily
mo, | was ashamed. | thought i!
had better not get out of the family"
brooklyn Life.
WIFE-"Don't you think this bon
| net makes my face look rather short"
| HuSband-"No; but it makes MY
pocket book look like a perfectdwarf. ;"
| Chicago Inter Ocean.
"CAN you suggest an inscription to.
go over the gates of the new ccme-
tery?" the president asked the editor
Let me see," replied the editor, how
would this do. We have come To-
STAY Lake City Times
Nor A FOREIGNER. Mrs. Schuyle-
vant-"My son is a regular Behem-
ian. Mrs Harlem Phats-"Oh.
pshaw, now, don't be putin on.
You know he was born right here in,
New York. Chicago News Record
MISSION TEACHER What did Co
lumbus do?" Gotham Wait"-W'y
der" Mission Teaeher-sW don't.
you say the instead OF der.
Gotham Waif-{wit!l dignitEl--"l
amt no Anglermaniac to. 4,