Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-11-07

turkey III UnlS WOrlu'S SOOuS anu
Especially poor so far as his wife was
concerned. I believe my soul, she'd
a starved rather'n done any house
work. She was no ways like the
woman Soloman tells of in Proverbs,
sShe 1ayeth her hands to the spindle
and her hands hold the distaff', not
bit; she couldn't hold herself hardly;
delicate they called her, but if the
parson had made her do the house
work instead of keeping his maiden
aunt to do it, she'd been good for
somethin' meboe. Well, keepin' three
costs more'n to keep two and they
had to reckon close now [ tell We, to
get the year through and not get be-
hind hand. The parsons clothes got
awfully shabby and poor and the year
he preached here the last time, for he
went to Ohio after that, he hadn't but
jest one pair o. pants that looked fit
for Sunday pants and them was the
ones he was married in number of
years before and they was light color
ed and wasn't suitable for minister.
I wonder sometimes if church mem
bers think God requires his servants
to go fasting and to be clothed in
sackcloth and ashes, for the way they
give to pay the parson would lead
body to think so, and the sackcloth
would be rather short in some cases,
Pm thinkin'. I believe the Bible says,
'as We have received SO give or like
it and 'cordin' to some folks givin',
they can't be credited with havin' got
much religion"
We were all smiling by this time and
grandma went on, 'tOh, philandering
off again, I see Well, them pants; the
minister thought he couldn't afford
the new ones and when Martha went
down to Massachusetts and made a
visit, Elder Follansbee went to Heze-
kiah Scudder and got his receipt for
coloring black; you see Hezekiah
used to be in a dye-house and knew
just how to color over such things.
Well, he borrowed fathers big cald-
ron kittle and fixed a crane out of
doors and went to work and colored
his weddin' pants and had 'em ready
to wear the mex Sunday. Eben Plum
mer and Mirandy Slater had been
cried three weeks and was goin' to be
married in meetin' and that was why
he wanted the pants. He did the
whole piece o. work himself and as he
had wife worth tow string she'd
been such unholy sinners, but there's
and Grandma Hubbard laughed again
at the thought of the Parsons pants.
ssThere was double meetin' that day,
for the folks from the west part come
over to the weddin' and they come
early, too. 1t SO happened that Dea-
con Breeds old COW got into the min
ister's cabbage patch just as it was
time for him to get ready to go and
and he had got to get her home and
the choir to sing The Year of Jubilee
is Come and he'd get there soon's he
could. Well, she went over and
Chelmsford Breed tuned up his old
bass-viol and his father, the Deacon,
he tuned up his fiddle and Joe Davis,
he played second fiddle. When they'd
all got seated and the choir was jest
singing right smart, Elder Fallansbee
walked in and up the pulpit. just as
he got on to the pulpit stairs Cephas
Parker staggered right out. I thought
he's laffin' at the couple up in front,
they looked SO it-like, but when
the minister faced round, land sakes!
folks stared a second and then they
Uttered and then they LATED and the
tithing man went up to the parson and
whispered to him and he went down
the pulpit stairs and into the vestry |
and then home.
ssHe was a sight to behold! He was
black as a darkey's wool; his hands
and his face and even his pocket |
handkerchief was black as mop rag. |
in white all to once but the parson,
he turned black. Somehow he didn't |
get the directions right and he used
logwood huff to color forty pair o.
pants and he didn't get the color set
and bein' in a hurry, he hadn't looked
in the glass when he fixed up, for he
had on his Sunday dickey and stock
and jest changed his pants and as for
brushing his hair, he was bald headed.
Well, he come back after while; the
choir sung hymns till he did, but to
tell the truth he looked pretty streak
ed all round.
ssHis wife worried over it soft she
was helplesser than ever for day or
tWo' The best oft was that the [