Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1892-12-29
WIT AND HUMOg
The cucumber docs ~ 49,. =.

the ballot-box wouldn't be half fnI5
Boston Globe.
In his moments Of abstraction
the pickpocket thinks time is mon
Philadelphia Times.
The liquor question stacyerx
Incorporate mar more than apy
else.-LoWeH Courier.
The fortune of war seems to ba
cumulated principally blythe q
makers Washington Star.
The reason tkat rich men have
many friends is because they are :
ital fellows Rochester Democrat.
Teacher-"Now. remember. the
ural color of water is blue" CityBoy
"Yes'm, same as milk."-Good M
Cold contracts. That's WHY I'd
pocketbook IL so small when Won K
coaled up for the winter.-Danus
Breeze.
Exhorter-"Come, thou heavy lade,
Old Soughk-"Don't look at me nj
way. l amt half loaded YETI
troit Tribune.
The man who owns d profitahle
quarry seldom makes complaint to :
one regarding his hard lot-Som5
Uihe Journal.
"If we search the scriptures, wl:at
we find, Thomas?" Thomas (who /
several sisters)-"Autumn leaves
Texas Sytings.
First Girl-~Do you get much Z
turn from your poetry?" Second Gil
with a deep ~sigh)-"Yes, its all n
turned
Bootblack - "Shine." GentIemanl
whats the price?' Bootblack-@FiJ
cents wen you ask, an ten cents w'd
We don't."-G0od NeUS.
The man who lets his wife split y
the wood may mean well, but H
shouldn't be allowed to do all the tail
ing at a prayer meeting. = Rand
Horn
Thinkitt-"The rich. the good bod
saws, can't get into heaven Knowi|
Eyes; and the poor can't get ipi
the churches. Smith, Gray L Col
Monthly.
Fortieth Friend (since breakfastl.
"By Jove, old fellow, you've got
fearful cold. What are you taking /,
it?" Sufferer( oarselD-Adyge.s- ~
Y. Weekly.
Briggs-"How do YOU like my ne
coat? / got it at a 'misiit parlor!
Griggs-"Firstrate. It's one of d
best misfits | ever Cioihier a,
FurniShier.
Doctor Ito twu-headed urchiH)
"How is your mother, Tommy?7 TOT
my-~O, if you please, sir, she gettil
very romantic in her right knee, !
says."-IIt-Lb&.
$50 O were not detained long
ouarantinep" mo, but we were sta
ped at the bar" "The bar! o, the
YOU were in no hurry to get of, !
bet."-Brookiyn Eegte.
you're the sleepiest looking in,
yidual | ever saw" said Dick to /
seedy man on the corner. Yes. ev
nv coat hasn't had a nap in sol
time" guoth te.-BostOn Posi-.
Young Mother-"What do you thi
of the baby, Uncle Jackson?' I'm
Jackson-"Lor' sakes, Miss May ]
de putties' little oaby-ter be a VI
baby-ev'r | did see.'-Pack.
Jaysmith (worsted in a discussio
81 won't argue with a fool Gun
(cheerfully)-"I will. Now. that poi
YOU disputed last, =" But ];
smith had escaped.-Brookiya LJe.
Acknowledgements threatens
knock the top of my head of. W
do ven think of that?" Sinnix-4t
suppose he wanted to see the whe
90 round, mebbe. "-Indianqpoiis 10
nal.
r. Gedone--aI hear that Jewt
Gilt has disappeared, and that MS
bili,ies are heavy" Brad. Stree
$50 are his assets-he didn't le
anything but two safes. Jewsa
Weekly.
!: "Yes, Harry, | love you. but we {
never we'd" said the Boston maid v
! a sigh. "Why?' asked Harry. y
say eether for eyether," and i'he
|. her face on his shoulder aud wep
! Boston Post.
Y "What stumps me-" unused the p
1 osopher, lis the fact that the 4
$ with a good, long swallow is N
: likely to be a Prohibitionist than IS
; short-necked fell2w-citizen.' Ind
/ apolis Journal.
!. There's one satisfactory thing 40
, betting on politics. Every man =
!, invest his money with the assure
that should he lose be will receive
same returns as the man who win
Boston Transcript.
: Il used TO think he was a frien'
mine,s said Harry Nocash. @or
know better now" "Why7' IVY
, in an election dispute ! oIere'
: bet $40 and he produced the mo
i to take me."-Harvard Lanipoon.
Husband C5rritably)-@Can't You
" member ehere | said left my gla
d al !seakfast this morning w
k "I'm sorry, dear, ] really can't I
!, band (peevishly)-~That jast 81
8 the forgetfulness of YOU women
Hargard Lan,poon.
Deacon Wayback-"For the nj
!, me ] can't see why the boys rush
4 the city an leave the farm Dea
Wiseacre-"Well, Eve an idee.
because they're so tired o the bial
thing they don't kcer to take y
IS 'em."-Brookiyn Life.
She Gust after accepting Inn
Don't look so tenderly happy. I
\ YOU manage TO wear seine other
" preston for a little while? Those
= over there are watching us, and II
L don't stop | sha'n't have another
, posal this year."-Princeton iigef-
say, boss" said the hearywe
y purilist to the playwright, I'm
It on the stoige an want you 70 "
me a play, see?' What kina
10 play do you want? How long, 10
IT stancee" saw; ! don't care.
tree roun's an a wind-rp. '-ba
Express.
Mother Ito her old-maid daush
why, Julia, what do you mea
using the family bible in that J
You are scratching out figures 10
family record and inserting ots'
Julia-"it is a record of my blrth
ftp" Eyes, it is" "Well, am 10
ing the record."-Teras SyttngS,
Though the young ladies ma.