West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1892-03-17
zine and so proceeded to put 1t in

~
smeared some of the sticky sweet
ness on its hands and then stuck
feathers on one hand. This at
tractcd the young hopeful's atten,
ton for shoft time and he lay
there picking the feathers from one
hand to the othcr where they would
stick in the molasSos and Mr.. Bow
ser thought he had won the day.
Thinking it about time for his
wife to return. he took the vothg.
ster on his lap and sat down by the
fire. Here he got into trouble
again and had to change his pants
and hang the others out to dry.
lie also concluded that the baby
should change his too and looked
around for some dry underclothing.
lie found an assortment hanging
on char behind the stove and So
lected Il diamond shaped cutaway
piece of goods, which he tried to
adjust whore it was needed most.
The baby resented his awkward
attempts and hollered louder than
ever. He finally succeeded in get
ting it on, sash fashion. so that it
looked like piece of calithumpian
regaha, and was kicked off Ivy tho
baby soon as he got fair chance at
it.
The molasscs and feather business
was played out and the baby was
hollcrlng for lunch. Mr.. Bowser
concluded that he was hungry and
so thought he would fix him like
the slave women did their babies.
while they were picking cotton i'm
the south. lie sat the young chap
down on the carpet and went to the
kitchen where he procured piece
OF fat meat, about the size of the
haby's fist. lie got stout string
and tied it tightly around the meat
and tied the other end TO the baby's
big toe, leaving the string just long
enough, so that he could got it to
his mouth and then put the piece of
meat in It's hands. OF course it at
once went TO its mouth and it
sucked away at it contented for
awhile. Then it swallowed the
piece OF meat and chokcd on it and
Mr.. Bowser stopped over to see
what had become of it. Just then
the baby kicked ms hard as he could
and out flew the piece Of meat,
striking Bowser in the eye and
making HIM fall over the baby, who
howled till the roof cracked and the
windows ratified, as hc caught his
sccoud wind.
Just then Mrs. Bowser rushed
IN, picked up baby and exclaimed: {:
"Mr. Bowser have you been try
ing to murder our child :"
Bowscr was hopping around on
one foot and holding his battered
optic with both hands and swearing
by air, note and without measure.
"By the great guns Of Gatling
Mrs. Bowser How dare you ask
such question after putting up
such an Infamous job rs this On
me ="
"Mr. Bowscr, have you been
hanging this baby up by the toes,
or dragging 1T around thc room by
this string p She asked as she OK
amined tie little darling careffIly
TO see if lac was all there, and pro.
perly pinned on his pinaforc.
" Mrs. Bowser, this is the very
last stroke. This is the straw that
breaks the camcls back and 90 TO
return no more. shall see my
lawyer and have the papers all pro-
pcrIy filed out, and you had bettor
write to your mother at once"
"Mr Bowser don't be fool. I
shall stay right here and take cure
Of This baby after this myself. /
thought You said you knew 80 much
about managing them"
"Ncrert Never said anything Of
the kind and You had no business
TO slip of and leave me here with
that young caliope al by myself.
But I see through It all. J fayo
expected It Tor some time. II was
all put zip job to drive mo away
or have me accused Of killing That
young imp Of satan that looks Just
like its mother more and more ovorv