Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-06-30
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

Austin doctor angrily to darby who
woke him up at o'clock in the morn
ing" II les allowed, boss, dat yer was
so busy yer didn't hab time ter tend
ter poor folks in de day time, SO |
lowed I'd drop in after supper. "-Ieras
SJtings.
A BUFFALO girl made funny remark
in school the other day: George
Washington" was the time-honored
subject of discussion, and the little girl
was getting sleepy and not paying the
close attention she should. Now,
Mary" said the school teaeh b; " .,nh
father" said the girl, indistinctly.
"once' more, Mary" insisted the
teacher; "speak up so the school can
hear you" "Our Father which art in
heaven" answered Mary, and dropped
off to sleep. She imagined she was
saying her prayers before going to bed.
| Buffalo Enquirer.
"WHAT have you named your baby,
Rastus?" ''Sam Pro Tenn johnson, sah. ="
'What is the Pro Tenn for?'' ''To show
dat de name is only temporary, sab.
| We kind O. thought Sam might like to
choose his own name when he growed
| up, sab, SO we put the Pro lem in as q
| warnin' to de public. "-Harpe;'s Bazaar.
THIS was overheard: First Citizen
| "Where is Blank these days." Second
Citizen-"Living on his farm First
Cltizen--"L1ving on his farm! Why,
didn't know he was farmer" Sec
onu Citizen-''He isn't" First Citizen
| How does he make it pay. then ?"
| Second Citizen-"He doesn't. - Wash
i',gton Post.
DURING the May term of the superior
~ 40 hnr IF oil in nc
were naturalized, among them an Irish
man. When the clerk put the question,
'Do you renounce all allegiance to the
Queen of Great Britain and Ireland ?"
He replied: "I'll 60 back on the Queen,
but. young man, I'll never GO back on
old Ireland-never." The lawyers
smiled, the spectators Uttered. the can
| didate's petition was accepted and he
got his papers.
THE habits of lifetime on shore are
not easily shaken off when one goes to
sea. Mr.. and Mrs. Parkinson were on
their first ocean Journey and were in
their state-room one day, when Mr..
Parkinson remarked to his wife: II
think it must be raining" Mrs. Per-
kinson rose, peeped out Of the port.
hole upon the broad ocean and said: II
guess faint rainin' much, don't see
| Youths Companion.
TRAVELLING IN AN ELEvATOR.-Among
others entering the elevator at a we'll
known Fourteenth Street dry goods es-
| tablishment was stout, determined
| looking Irish lady. She was carried up
and down the elevator several times,
but evinced no disposition to get out at
any particular department.. The man in
charge finally asked: Madam, where
do you wish to be landed ?" "Lave me
as near the Grand Central Daypo as We
| can," came the response SJt-
| ings.
JAGsoN notes the tendency OF the
soaker to become sponge.-ElmirG Ga
zette.
This is an application for relief" as
the man said when he stuck the porous
| plaster on his pain.-Philadelphia Rec
| ord
THAT was great DOWNFALL" said the
| barber when he finished shaving the
young mans upper lip Washington
| Star.
THE sphere of woman may indeed he
| boundless, but she has to stop when
| she comes to a barbed wire fence
RAMS Horn.
ToM-"Jessie has something of the
military air about her." Jack-"Never
noticed it. What?" Tom-"The agi-
| lily with which she flies to arms" -New
| York Herald.
THOUGH June is reachin' DER the lawn,
| And movin' like river,
Many time before the dawn
You're pullin' at the klver.
-SteUart County (Ga.) Hopper.
SATAN-"Dld you torture him we'll p"
| Asmodeus-"Y es." Satan-''What did
you do ?" Asmodeus-"I asked him if
it was hot enough for him. "-NeaU York
| Herald.
"HELLo, Jones, what are you doing
with your coat buttoned up to your
chin? Are you sick?" Jones'" Hush,
dent mention it; have on tie that
| my wife selected. ~ CHICAGO Inter-
| Ocean.
SOME boys think they is awful good
cause their folks never misses church,
rain or shine, but I notice when they
has apple they never offers me bite.
They always chums with some boy
| volts got poor front teeth.-Lihle John
ny.
CIVILIAN" she sighed, and he hung
upon her words with the grip of q
freshman testing his strength for an
anthropometrical chart, civilian, why
am like broken locket ?" "Ah," he