The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1892-10-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Cast your bread upon the water and
you will have chicken soup such az
they advertise in free lunch -Hazleton
Sentinel
-Hawkes-"What do you find to do
down at the seashore, Baird?' Baird
80, spend my day lodging baby-car-
riages. "-Harper's Bazaar.
He Knows Himself Too Well for
That.-"Poor Jimpson has no conf
dence in himself" mo wonder. He
says he knows himself. - Yankee
Blade.
-''Thev say he is literary man. and
perhaps he is. He talks rapidly, but,
upon my word, | can't make head nor
tail of what he talks about" "Ha.
Perhaps he is a magazine poet. N. y.
Press.
-Dudeleigh like smart women
well enough, but wouldn't care to
marry Il woman who knew more than |
did" Rudeleigh-"And so You have
been forced to remain single?"-Boston
Transcript.
A Jersey City man named Albert
Scott was bitten by fly the other day
and so badly poisoned that it was
thought he would die. And men are
bold enough to eat in restaurants
Buffalo Express
Mamma Ito the professor. whose
ears have been lacerated for on hour
Don't you think the dear child should
have her voice cultivated?" The Pro-
fessor (grimly) if she must sing"
Kate Fields Washington.
No Fear. Tourist YOU saw me
drop down this horrible precipice you
would be terribly upset, would you
not?" Guide-"Oh, not in the least:
you have paid me in advance, you
know. Arlequin.
Mr.. Lurker-"EXcuse me. Miss
Snapper, but | have long sought this
opportunity to" Miss Snapper 49,
Newer mind the preamble, Mr. Lurler
Run right in and ask pa. He's been
expecting this would come for the last
two years "-Boston Courier
What did your husband say when
you gave him that box of cigars, Mrs.
Bumble?" "He tried one of them. and
observed that he loved me too much to
use the rest of them to crafty his taste
for smoking" And what has become
of them?' Il put them away in cam
phor for him. "-lIarper's Bazaar
"A Gentle Hint. " was not over
scrupulous about his personal appear
ance. One day, in the studio of celc-
brated painter, he was fumbling in his
pockets What are you looking for?'
inquired the witty artist "A pencil I
only wanted to jot down a word or two
on my shirt cuff. See here is a bit of
chalk" was the amiable rejoinder-
Supplement nlustre.
II suppose you haven't forgotten
that it is leap year" he said as he took
a seat beside her, land SO | must be
careful not to lead the conversation in
dangerous direction" and he laughed.
81 had quite forgotten it," she said
with yawn: whats the use of re-
membering it when you never meet
man who is worth proposing to- This
time he didn't laugh. N y. Press.
The German professor was remark
ably absent-minded. Whenever he was
engaged in his study solving some alb
struse problem, his wife brought him
his dinner. His favorite dish was pam
cake and molasses, One day his wife
brought him large pancake and "a
pitcher of molasses, and went back into
the kitchen. Pretty soon she heard the
professor ring the bell. "Why is it, = he
asked indignantly. that you bring me
nothing to eat except molasses?" 80.
dear" exclaimed the wife, you in your
Observation-Disclosures have tucked the pan
cake around your neck, thinking it was
a napkin"