Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1892-03-09
uuEEK INVENTIONS.

80 -
In conversation bad recently win
Commissioner Mitchell Of the Patent
Office, he, alluded to the food of pat
ents for the slot Imachines in which
YOU agop.aa "a coin. and get something
t.n.Yes,p said g he .sthe slot division is
being Pushed5 night and 'daF1o dti'be.
gins to hook as if the drummer and
the sales,ady would equally be super
eeded by this speechless monster, and
every mortal want would come to be
supplied through the slot. Why, just
look here" And he produced draw
llngs and speeSifcationso Of Numerous
machines, standing about as high as a
man, and of incredible fecundity.
"Here's the first, /" he went on. s|Drop
a nickel in the slot and it will weigh
you and push you out a little card
with your avoirdupois stamped neatly
upon it. Here's another that will tell
your age for a nickel without the slight
est assistance. Here's one that sells ice
water-a glass for one cent and makes
change for you from a coin of any
sort. 1t has made its appearance on
the streets of Chicago and Minneap-
olisSand the mayor has ordered the
police ~ protect it. 1t is temperance
ally, and it is anticipated that it will
shortly stand near all the crowded cor
ners of every great city. Here's one
that dispenses soda water all
by itself punch in your nickel
and you get your soda. Here's
another that proffers any one of four
teen sorts of liquors, including Yam
kee cocktail. And here's the best of
them all-look at the elaborate clock
work in the interior. See the kero-
sene lamp on one side and the ice
chamber on the other, and the asbestos
between" This is supposed to stand
solus and majestic on corner of the
street, its fires always burning like
those of the Aztec altars of sacrifice,
its ice always freezing like that of the
lcelandic hades, silently offering its
treasures to the passer-by. OF any
one of sixteen things it gives him five
cents worth. The fluids come out of
the faucets; the solids are showed
down the little inclined planes ON
either side. Only one thing is want
ing-a city directory; and that will
doubtless come later. After the slot
has engulfed the stipulated coin, it
responds with the re-
Iuired refreshment on the hand being
turned to the mark and allowed to re-
main over it.
| looked into the bowels of this I'M
speakable salesman. Its interior is
elaborate; wheels and
;ogs and elbows and levers and shafts
md eccentric movements conspiring
o the desired end. l turned away
with a sense of dizziness. There have
been three hundred patents granted
for the slot machines and two hundred
are pending. The very latest is the
application of the device to toilet
'ooms-one cent being dropped in the
dot. The cannon plough is a presum-
tbly convenient implement for sub
,oiling and warfare on the frontier,
ior, as the ploughbeam is hollow and
oaded, 1t can instantly be wheeled and
ired, killing the Indians and horses
happens to be in the way.
But the same inspired genius has patent
ID the pistol pocketbook-when the in
locent and unsuspecting burglar asks
'ou for your pocketbook you careless
y take it out and empty its contents
nto his abdomen.
There is claim in the patent Office
or patent on the Lords prayer, the
pecification being that the repetition
If the same, rapid and in loud tone
If voice, will cure stammering.
Among odd inventions are chicken
topples, which walk the chicken right
,ut of the garden when she tries to
cratch; the bee-moth excluder, which
automatically shuts up all the beehives
when the hens go to roost; the tape
worm fish-hook which speaks for it
elf; the educational balloon with
nap of the world outlined on its sur
'ace; side-hill annihilators-stilts to
it on the down-hill legs of a horse
when he is ploughlng along side-hill;
md the hen-surpriser, device that
lrops the new~laid egg through the
,ottom of the nest, with intent to be-
,uile and wheedle the hen into at ono.
aging another.
One of the latest patents Is an auto
natic bath-tub, which starts the hot
md cold water at given moment in
he morning to which it has been set,
maintains exactly the right tempera-
ure of it by graduating the flow of
he water, rings bell when all is