The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-10-27
HAD THOUGHT IT ALL OUT.
How to Keep Mans Affecttons-The
Woman That Looks Best I'm Bathing.

Woman That Looks Best In Bathing.
The blonde said to the brunette:
Why is it that the newspapers are al
ways asking how to retain the affec-
tions of a man, and what woman looks
best in bathing?'
And the brunette answered: "Well,
I suppose it is because those two ques-
tions are of the most interest to man
kind, as newspapers are written for
them"
Il think" "said the blonde, and real
", when you looked at the shape of
her head, you credited her with some
thinking power, Il think it is because
as a nation we American women are
not aifectionate. An American man
doesn't want violent yelling, passion
ate love that throws the furniture out
of the window because he has looked
at another woman, such love as an
Italian would give him. nor does he
particularly yearn for the sleek, cat
like appreciation of the French woman,
who is carrying on another affair at
the same time; but what he likes is af-
fection. He likes to come home and
be called dear Over pleasant little
dinner, when they are by themselves,
and when the maid has gone out to get
the salad he likes his wife to jump up
and kiss him, and tell him how much
the oldest boy who is the handsomest
of the lot, looks like him. He likes to
be made much of; he likes to have
sort of Pm ch-of-all-I-survey'
feeling, and / wonder more American
women don't give it to him. for little
goes such n great ways with him. Now
the Englishman is quite different; it
is my house. my children. and my wife,
and if my wife dares to think there's
any man in the world as great as he
knocked out of her either mentally or
physically. You say sometimes
woman don't feel like this-well. it is
her business to. | always remember
that thing that Ada Rehan played
where she talks so beautifully about
thy husband being thy lord, thy life,
thy keeper; one who cares for thee
and thy maintenance; commits his
body both to land and sea while thou
liest warm at home serene and safe,
and claims no other tribute at thy
hands than love, fair looks and true
obedience. OF course, none of our hds-
bands stand in any greater danger
than being chewed up by the bulls
and bears, but still we are more or less
serene, and safe to give him the love
and fair looks, and he would never
ask word about the true obedience.
At least that is what | think"
yes" said the brunette, you have
way of thinking out things which
somehow never comes to me, though |
must confess | have thought some
thing about the girls who bathe. As
soon as Il woman gets to weigh about
$50, with the greater part of her flesh
distributed about her waist, she thinks
she is in fit condition to exhibit her
figure in a close-fitting bathing-suit
for the delectation of the numerous
lookers-on. Now, she has just reached
the time when she ought to stay out.
The girl who looks her best is the one
who is rather slender. but wel!-shaped,
and who, when she gets into the bill
lows, can ride around like mermaid
of old, until every man on the land
wishes he was like the happy sailor of
the days of yore who was married to
a mermaid in the bottom of the deep.
blue sea- Ladies who are inclined to
a redundancy of flesh. for that is what
they like it to be called, come out very
badly in the water. They want to do
their swimming in their own special
tubs. and leave the glad sea waves to
the fashionable slender girl. By the
by. though, why is the slender girl
fashionable?"
"Weu," said the blonde, "the men
prefer her. The worst thing they can
compare her to is lead pencil, and
nobody dare lisp hippopotamus or ele
phant, or suggest throwing dice on
her corsage when she is spoken Of
Then she has quiet way of walking
around. and man doesn't like a wo-
man to bring down her foot 50 that
she shakes the whole house. You re-
member one of the charms of Nellie
BLY, in the old plantation song was
that after she lifted her foot and put il
down there was music in the special
part of town she elected to walk in
Then, too, it is bit difficult for
stout woman to cuddle, and if there is
anything above all other things, even
if he is 999 years old and weighs ton,
that man likes, it's to be treated az
if he were a small boy and patted and
approved of. There is no doubt about
it that. though fashions may come and
90, the slender girl will always remain
IN vogue. Though, by the b., she
mustn't be too tall, for man hasn't
half lived bis life unless he can call the
woman he is fond of little Queer,
isn't it?"
The woman who had been listening
10 this looked at them as they saun-
tered Off, and saw that each was just
the right height and just the right
slenderness, and she couldn't resist
thinking to herself, "When women
thoroughly understand themselves and
their strength, what powers they will
be in war, in love, or the combination
of love and war"