The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1892-05-18
EATING SOAP SANDWICHES.
HOW an Irishmen Came to Nasticate
One and the Result

noW an 4rlShman Came to heSticat6
One and the Result.
From, the Ne,o York Herald.
party Of commercial travellers were
discussing their oldest experiences in the
smoking compartment of a west-bouud
sleeper. After the usual round of stories CT
amatory conquests, railroad accidents, and
slick tricks on buyers had been dilated upon
at length, the conversation shifted and the
party began speaking of the strange things
they had eaten in various quarters of the
globe. This continued until one of the
party surprised the others by remarking:
Say, fellers, did you ever hear of a mans
eating soap sandwich
mo. come off the perch" THAT will
hardly wash" and other similar remarks
followed the question, for the nauseous sug-
gestlon was too much even for drummer's
credulity.
1T has been done. though" replied the
other. knew man, porter in our
store, who ate soap sandy and seemed
20 ENJOY lat least for time. II you fell
lows will keep quiet for few minutes I'll
tell you about it"
The others promised to be as still as mice,
and the man began his story with a little
description of the peculiarties of Irish
Mike" trusted porter for many years in
the employ of leading dry goods firm. who
udu DO46Q UD6 ears OF q score or more genes
rations of office hoys.
He seemed to hate boys" continued the
speaker. HE had been with the firm so
long and was so exact himself that he could
not excuse mistake; and as for skylarking
ne considered that capital offense. He
lntimidated generation after generation of
youngsters, but he met his match at last in
harum-scarum youth named Bob.
This boy came from-no one knew
"a WI ulr n1N ,hoaw III % 4
clerks and statesmen, aud at once took the
lead In all the boyish mischief in the store.
He ran counter to Irish Nike from the
first. They hated each other heartily, and
Bob led the other boys in revolt against the
tyrant.
1T is unnecessary to outline the nature
OF the campaign beyond saying that it was
one OF petty annoyance. They would hide
Mixes hat, nail his street boots to the floor
or fill them with water, and fill his pockets
with tacks and things of the kind.
"Ihe campaign eliminated in the follow
ing manner Mike was in the habit of
bringing his lunch with him and eating it
in the store He was very fond of cheese
sand witches. One day Bob found his lunch
basket and inspected its contents. He dis
covered the cheese sandwiches, and was
quick to sieze the opportunity to get even
with his enemy, who the day before had
busted his jacket we'll.
From bar of yellow soap he cut nice
thin slices. These he substituted for the
cheese, sprinkling liberal quantity of salt
over the surface. Then he hid behind a
case of goods TO await developments.
AT noon time Nike took his dinner bas-
ket and quart of beer to his favorite cor
ner and began to enjoy his repast. To Bob's
surprise he ate the nasty soap andwiches
without changing hair. slipping his beer
between each bite. He finished his lunch
and lay down contentedlyto take a short nap.
Now this was more uhan the boy could
stand. From his place of coucealment he
began to throw paper wads at the man, IN
til he aroused him. Then he began to jeer
at the porter.
Nike began TO chase his tormentor.
They ran back and forth through the alsles,
in the basement; the boy scrambled over
boxes with the agility of cat, aud eluded
his pursuer easily. The latter was rapidly
becoming furious, when Of a sudden he
paused in his efforts and turned pale. Then
he beat hasty retreat, sick and disheart-
eoed. Small wonder, for the beer and ex-
ercise working upon the soap had naturally
resulted in converting it into mass of
tuds, which the stomach of no human being
not even Mikes could resist.
Bob was delighted at the result of his
work, and Dragged not little of the
achievement. 1t reached the ears OF the
firm, who promptly dispensed with his:serv'
ices. Mikes system was entirely disar-
ranged by his novel repast, and when he
returned to the store after few weeks abb
sence he was a much altered man in disposi-
ton. He always got along well with the
boys after his experience with soap sand
Wich.b