Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-08-06
WOES OF A BRIDEGROOM.
KSoartrending Things That Conspire to
Make q Young Man Miserable.

ESoartrending Things That Conspire to
Make u Young Man Miserable.
"There are discomforts connected with
getting married that few people know any
thing about, except the bridegrooms," re-
marked n young New Yorker who had re-
Gently gone through the experience.
Il did not suppose the honeymoon period
had any drawbacks" ventured the bach
elor.
We'll, it has some curious incidentals
that never dreamed of. After the public
announcements of the date of my wedding
they appeared in most of the city papers
Il began to receive a steady stream of cir
culars. There were circulars from haber-
dashers, shoe stores and florists, and two
applications from real estate agents to
show flats, and three days before my we'd
ding arrived printed slip, ostensibly
cutting from newspaper. This was truly
a curiosity.
'It was headed to Marry as though
all New York Were agog at my approach
ing ceremony, and then under the inn
portant line by telegraph followed full
some account of myself. My brief and I'M
eventful career was padded up to heroic
size; every phase of it that could appeal to
vanity was dwelt upon, and just as some
most agreeable remarks were being made
about my personal appearance, the arti-
cle' had been clipped, and l was informed
by an accompanying circular that l could
obtain copies of the paper. one or any num-
Der, by sending two dollars to a certain box
at the New York postoffice.
''Of course l ignored this tricky scheme,
though as a device for bleeding the vain it
was most interesting, but on my return to
New York after the affair was all over my
real woes began. The legitimate press as
sociations kindly informed me that there
were fourteen notices of my marriage, and
r hot Il hax I he, all for a era
ton.
Il devoted my first hour after returning
to business to this class of applicants
when a visitor was announced He turned
out to be an insurance agent, and for five
days l talked insurance, read insurance,
dreamed insurance. The elevator brought
agents in person, the mail brought their
letters. / even received two kilograms on
the subject. From one company alone
came four different canvassers. My bust
ness was interrupted and my patience was
exhausted. Late on the sixth day of this
plague, when l was in no mood for triiing,
the door of my outer Office opened, and a
small man with red whiskers and specta-
cles came slowly in.
"'It's no use to come in any farther /
called to him. L know your company.
There have been four other men ahead of
you, so it's no use. There's an elevator in
the hall. You can ride down in it free,
my friend, but if you say insurance around
here I'll give you chance to go down the
stairs free-ride down to-
Il stopped here to draw breath, and the
redheaded man said:
"'You was married last month";
al was. Now, ask my age l suggested,
and compute my chances of life
well, you married my niece contin-
ued the redheaded man. I've just been
calling at your house, and she sent me
down to surprise You. 1 reckon it's the
other way, and now I'll go out and take
that free elevator
Il tried to apologize and explain" added
the unfortunate bridegroom sadly, but
it was no use; he went" - New York Trib-
nne