The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1892-09-03
MR, AND MRS. eoWseR.
Tho Head of tho Family Tries to Tut u
Some Screen naorS-rhc Result.

he intended to do with it,
TITS for screen doors for the front DOORS
he replied.
carpenter coming up 20 make thomp
Haven't engaged any"
"Mr, Bowser, YOU are not going TO Try
and make them yourself"
"rhere won't bo any trying about Il. !
shall proceed to make and hang them"
Pm afraid YOU can't do II, It's mic,
piece OF joiner work TO make screen door
especially one for the front of the house
~ am well aware" he said as he stroked
his chin in complacent way, Haven't
got about $5Oworth OF toolsS Don't | know
how to handle themW
IL wish you had given your order at
the shop, rs other folks do"
I'm be hanged II pay any s. for a pair
OF doors when can make 'em for S3l You
are always dead set against anything
undertaken
"Mr, Bowser, you can't make screen
door. You can't hang one Don't blame
me when the failure comes"
"Blame youl Are you getting crazyl II
those doors are not n success you won't
hear word Of fault from me--not a peep,
! was thinking of ordering them, but being
you have stuck your nose up so high I'll
make 'em now just to show you that | eau
do i'll"
And next morning he put on an old suit
and went out to the barn and before 8
o'clock he had measured four different
times for those doors.
1t wasn't long before saw him sneaking
around to the front with one of the pieces.
| watched him as he tried IL and II was all
| Of twelve inches short. Mr.. Bowser
scratched his ear, growled like a bear and
/ looked rs foolish as a boy caught in har-
vest apple tree. Ten minutes later he was
at the telephone ordering more stuff.
"Were they too shortp ! asked us he
hung up the trumpet,
"N-no, but thought I'd get heavier
stuff he mumbled rs he shot out doors.
The stuff came up after dinner, and it
was about 3 O'Clock in the afternoon when
he put one of the frames together and stood
it up in the door. | went out, aud as he
began to smile with satisfaction said:
"Mr Bowser, that door is squeegawed.
"SqueegawedI Squeegawedr What does
that stand for in the back countiesl"
"Your door is wider at the bottom thar
at the top"
at can't be-"
But your own eyes will convince you.
There's an inch difference"
"Neverl I'll bet you a million dollars
there isn't hairs BREADTH
ran for my tapeline and soon proved
that the difference was over an inch.
"Oh, well, can fix that in moment,
he said. but it was 0 o'clock that evening
before he came in.
1t was 10 O'Clock next forenoon when
went out to the barn. He had the doc
covered with the wire cloth and proud!
called my attention to it.
(which is the outside Of the doorf"
asked.
"Why, the side this way, of course"
"Then you've tackled the cloth on the in
sidel'
"That's where it belongs"
: "You never saw it there, Mr.. Bowser-
neverl And look at the way you hav
tackled the stuff on. It's bumped up in
dozen different places, because you pulle,
it askew."
"There isn't one hump-not the sign OF
hump. I'll give any man billion dollar
to make better job of It'll All that doc
needs now is painting"
+ But don't they paint the frames befor
they tack the cloth on? How are you goin
to paint the inside of the frame|
: Don't you worry yourself about thi
Z lob. Mrs. Bowser wasn't born alongsid
: , of huckleberry marsh"
Mr. Bowser had been at work an hou
next morning before | went out. He ha
the doors at the front, and he seemed
have some trouble about hanging them.
Il "You see what you've done, don't your
e | asked, after a survey of the scene.
= II don't believe Pm either near sighte
r or color blind" he said.
% swell, you've got one door wrong sid
: I up, to begin with"
u "H-howY
s. "Look at the panels and see. Then yo
y have been trying to hang one to swing
D and the other to swing out"
% 81 have, eh2 That shows all you kno
D about it. Pm simply fitting the screens
II they will shut tight"
'n Just before noon he got hang on bot
doors, and as looked at them from IL
hall had to sit down on the floor an
laugh. They didn't meet in the cent
- WlUIlu DWO IuCuCS anu CtlSh "oS' hoAh
- inch short at the top and bottom. He hf
- also hung them with the cloth on the i
:, side. Just then a neighbor came alor
=. " and turned in to the steps. After lookir
7, !, at the doors for half minute in great a
a, constituent he queried:
n Something just from Paris, Bowserf'
y ''What do you mean"
n "Why, you've got new idea in scre'
! - doors. suppose the space at the botto
"' Is for bugs, that at the top for mosquitoe
and the center for flies. | see you have lie
the frames exposed. They will make cal
Is tai roosting places for horse flies and pin
# bugs. Did you do this jobf
" "Y-yes."
Co 'Well, if had girl 10 years old vi
p couldn't beat it I'd make her go barefo
e. all summer"
ne 81 didn't make these doors for yo
house, sir"
"Thank Heaven for that! Bowser, you
= brick--a soft brick! I'll come up I'll
evening with band and serenade tho
doors"
When the neighbor had gone sudden
:. felt the back end of the house lift up.
] was Mr.. Bowser pulling those screen doc
> off. He couldn't even wait to take
: screws out of the hinges. They came
oi in detachments and the pieces were flu
?. into the back yard. When he had finish
he came in and said:
IT. ''Mrs. Bowser, want to have a talk W
, you-a very serious talkW
"But didn't tell you how it would bt
"Never! You encouraged me to go abe
J and to please whim of yours I've /
ms three days time, pounded myself all ov
ely spent So in cash and been made butt
| Il