Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1892-09-01
BEWARE OF WIDOWS.
Lone POsey County Female Proves the
Value of This Advice.

Nhlue OF ADVICE.
A score of us were sitting in the shade of
the depot building waiting for the train,
which was an hour late, when a yoke of
oxen attached to a queer looking cart
turned the corner. They were driven by
woman about fifty years of age, who was
barefooted and wore mans straw hat.
''Git up, thar, Buckr' she exclaimed, as
she laid the ''gad" on the off OK with a
resounding whack. "You, thar, Pete;
what you skittishun round that way furS
Whoa. now! Both of yous stan STILL
She turned them up to the platform,
threw down some hay taken from the cart
and came up among us to inquire of the
depot agent about barrel of salt. He
was busy just then and she was waiting
around, when the smart Aleck of the
crowd, who was travelling for wine house,
remarked in tones meant for her to over
hear:
''Ive always said that if married at ali
I'd marry a woman who could drive oxen"
rs that meant for me?" she asked, as
she walked straight up to him.
''Are you n widow, ma'am?"
Il am. Bin a wilder ever since saw.
log rolled over Jim nine years ago."
And you would marry again if you had
the opportunity, would you?'
Il would. When Jim lay a dyin in the
house he told me to marry again if had a
show. Ahem! 1t runs in our family to
love. We begin airly and keep it up to
the grave What's your proposition? I'm
plain woman, full of bizness and never
do any foolin. If you've got anything to
say, spit it out afore 'em allI'
'I-Idon't want to marry you just now"
he stammered.
Don't, Ell? Then what's the use of get
ting me on my tiptoes aboutit? You, man,
sou Just the same as asked me to have you
and jest the same as accepted you"
"Oh, no, no! l merely made some in
quiries!'' he replied.
my hearts humping away like all git out
l said I'd marry again and will. We are
engaged. When do You want me to get
ready?''
Madam, you have totally misunder-
stood mer' exclaimed the young man, as he
turned all sorts of colors and appeared to
grow small. Il asked you a few questions
out of curiosity"
''Mebbe the jury will call it curiosity
and mebbe they won't, - she said, as she set
her jaw. They don't allow no foolin round
in Posey county. When a Teller goes as
fur as you hev it's hitch or damages. Pm
attending all over like a girl, and my
hearts trying % jump out. It's a regular
love or l don't know the road hum. You
don't leave here, young man, till this case
is settled
But, ma am, you see""
81 don't nuthin, marriage or dam
ages. You've asked me to have you; said
/ would. Will you marry or settler"
'How-how much?" he gasped, as he
looked around and failed to find any sym
pathy.
WAL, Saginaw salt is 81 .25 bar'l, - she
replied, as she glanced ut row of barrels
down the platform. II guess the oxen can
git hum with two bar'ls. Make it two and
I'll call it squar'."
Everybody grinned except the young
man. He realized that he was done for
and got out of the box by planking down
the ESQ to the agent. The cart was driven
around to the spot, the barrels loaded up
and then the woman came back to say to
the young man:
I've settled this case, and the salt is in
the cart, but jes' want to remark that II
you happen this way again and happen to
feel so awful cunnin that you can't hold
yourself, you'd better go slow on widders.
Thar's sixteen of round here, an we
all drive yaller oxen hitched to carts, an
we all go barefoot in the summer and
sigh to git married aSin. The reg'la
fgger is three bar'ls of salt and pound of
tea, but OWN to your youth and that
thunderstorm comm up I've let you off
easy. Good day, bub; good day. air.
Minneapolis Tribune.