davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Ingratitude.

A citizen who IS noted among his
friends for being Of an exacting turn Of
mind made 4 contract with a truekman
to move his belongings to another fat
for ten dollars. After the moving was
all over the citizen sat down on pile Of
carpet and cursed 4 little, doing il in as
low 4 tone as possible, 50 that the truck
man wouldn't hear him. But the latter
was a person Of unusually sensitive feel
ings, and he demanded an explanation
Z don't think you've treated ne
square, said the citizen
'yot treated you square, exclaimed
the sensitive truckman- DidutI move
you for the price I said I would ."
g Yes: but hesita;ed the citizen
~But WHAT ?" demanded the truck
man
&" You've broken the piano into FIVE
pieces and it's worthless. That piano
cost me when new $50"
sPshav p said the truckman- l fear
you are a narrow minded creature Lock
at that kitchen table now Did you ever
see a kitchen table moved 50 completely
and 50 carefully -
That IS true admitted the citizen,
~but you let the pier glass fall down tive
stories, and Tn out seventy dollars on
pier glass
Tut tut man" responded the truck
man, you are lacking in breadih Of
eharacte-. Do you expect perfection in
these days7 Do you want me to employ
dudes in lavender Kid gloves to handle
your stuff on ten dollar contract See
those fatirons on the silk lounge? Is one
Of them as much as Hicked ?"
@Durn the hatirons." said the citizen
"How about that oak sideboard that you
split up the middle?'
The oppressed truckmzn sighed heaT-
Hy.
Dear sir" he said, Il suppose one
can't please everybody didn't tear a
single carpet and saved half the china
I suppose if I didn't worry 50 much
about nv patrons feelings I should be
ha pier
aIngratitude is the curse Of the day
he concluded to himself as he drove
away to hunt another iob.-Nr,r Tort
HsTald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
The Worst Loneliness.

Poor Cir, she said, she must lead an
awful lie. But then she must have
known what Il would be when she mar
siel him-"
Is he uakind to her. asked ths liz
tie woman.
"Oa, no, I guess not Bot they iig,
in a lirtie farm house out IN the county
with the nearest neighbors Eve or ten
miles away. Think how Ilnely il mus
be-"
Yes, ofcourse its lonely, but she h4.
her husband
sob, yes; he cant get away ver
we'll
-Iie can't 20 to the clubs'
Certainly not He'd have 70 ride on
hundred miles or 50 10 ind one
And Be doesn't have to stay away
from dinner to entertain a country Gus
toner %
-Ifhe stayed away he'd have to 2.
without
And she's sure % have his company
eyeni0ssf7
~Of course But think Of living OF
that vast prairie with no neighboE-
hardly a house IN sight Can yea con
ceive CT anything more lonely "
Oh, yes said the little woman
promptly.
~What ?"
Living in the city, in the midst O.
thousands, With clubs en.l thsatsrs, bu.
hardly a soul y0u know. No one can b
so lonely as one who Is alone amou.
thousands Tie loneliness Of . LITTLE
back ro0c overlooking a court Is 1othin.
70 the loneliness of brilliantly Eghtec
ballroom 20 a stranger IN L.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Tragic Joking

Oswald's friends we've always or the
lookout for some ruse- tie once notified
them that CT View Years day he should
ret the best Of them in some Joke, and
New Years morning each received this
notice, @Re member They were on
their guard
As they were I eaviug a house where
thev had ereakfasted, Oswald slipped On
the steps and tell on his back on the
sidewalk. His friends rushed 10 his as
sistance, but paused befUre they reached
This IS his ruse, some one said
Clearly, the man who vas 50 proud Of
his talent for mimiery was bent on de-
eeiving them all into thinking him a dy-
ing nan, for he lay there moaning pitt
fully. bis face drawn and twisted As II
with terrible pain
His friends stood around and made
jokes and Puns. and hummei lines Of
comic songs, assuring him all the while
that they we're not deceived By his set
ing. At lzst he gave 4 hOarse, mournfui
crv. looked at them sadly and then eezs-
ed 10 moan or writhe. In a nevsr-to-be-
fsrgottsn moment Of horror and sorrow
his friends realized that oswald was
deaa.-Sougeai5s F,a Fiei-r Li5rairs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Whata Frog Enjoys.

There are few things more amusing
than 70 watch 4 toad submitting to the
operation ofa back scratching He VIII
at first Ieok somewhat suspiciousiy at the
twig which YOU are advancing toward
him. But after two or three passes down
his back his manner undergoes marx
ed change, his eyes close with an expres-
sion Of infinite rapt-re, he pants ais feet
wider apart and bis body sWsIls Out 70
nearly double its ordinary SIZE, as If to
obtain by these means more room for en-
j0yment-
Thus he viii remain until you make
some sudden movement which startles
him, or until he has had as much pet
ting as he wants, when, with a puff Of
regretful delight, he vii reduce binseli
to his usual dimensions and hop away
bent once more on the pleasure Of the
chase.-O1,r D.uR5 AuimGLs
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
He Was Entitled to It.

Many citizens Of Illinois who attended
the Minneapolis convention owe a debt
Of gratitude % Henry Evans, the Aurora
statesman, who presided over one Of the
doors Of the convention Henry IS 4
strong partisan, and he has a warm side
for all Illinoisans. Il soon became known
that Henry was taking care Of the Ili-
nois contingent n royal shape, and as =
consequence many a man who was IN
known 70 Evans imposed upon his coed
nature BY gaining admission under tie
plea that he resided at some erossroad
hamlet in Illinois.
On the second day Of the convention a
little, short, pudgy fellow brushed up to
the door and said, 4 have come all the
way from Illinois 10 see this convention
and want 70 90 it,
do you I've in Illinois - asked Evans
Yes
where is your home ?"
sAurora-"
"Indeed What Is your name
Ny name Is Egans-Hank Evans
@Weil, am very glad to meet you,
rejoined the doorkeeper, and il yOu are
really Hank Evans I guess VIII have te
let you in, because I know Mr. Evans is
a stAnch Republican and would be sor-
~ 70 do anything to offend him
Thereupon be passed the insisteni
stranger into the convention hall, at the
same time pressing into his hand q call
ing card. The fellows face was q study
at that moment.
go IN, continued Evans "fo1 DON
deserve recognition as an uIinoisan, but
your qualifications as liar entitle you
/ 70 4 seat. .'-C Chicago Nod
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
misunderstood the Minister

A vel known local minister, wh0 IS IN
the habit Of making weekly calls at the
arnory for the purpose Of distributing
tracts and words Of comfort to hearts
bleeding with shame and sorrow. had an
experience the other day which has fur
uished excellent material for 4 story
which be tells with great gusto at the
club. He made a visit 20 the armory
for the purpose ofspeaking with some Of
the inmates
\ brawny new policeman net him a.
the door.
~PfEat 10 yez want - he asked, with
q digniied swelling OF the chest
a desire to get access 70 the prisoners
confined here"
sPfwatt Axes, Is it, Begorra, divil
an Ak viii yez take 10 them "a rnints
there. Out O. here wid yez OF ON cu,
yure t'roat fur yez
Luckily some Of the officers who were
acquainted With the divine interrupted
further discussion on this point--Cii1l-
% NgL
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

Madam said the street car conduct
or % young lady in blue calico froek,
you have dog under your sat, and
you must leave the car.
what Leave the ear. y0ciierated
the woman. 7 have paid my fare and
I'm going % stick right where 7 am
Then I shall pat you Of replied the
diSeiplinariaa in blue.
All at once a law point came into the
woman's bead Give ne back my fare, =
she said 4 got in here IN good faith,
and when paid my i've cents = contract
Was completed You must either carry
Il out or retnru my cash I'm not re-
spOnsible because your cranky directors
don Z ike dogs"
The street car official stopped the car
and hailed a policeman. The point was
stated, and the thief catcher. after por-
dering few moments, observed.
Il amt no Judge nor amt no Jury,
but claim to have soue sense
= nder your system vOG might make
rules that passengers mustn't wear red
reck-ties or red noses OF three dollar
trousers, and after they had paid fares
show en- the rules and pat them oG-
There is no end to the rules you
might make to bunko folks ont Of their
ride, and every tine a chap looked cross
eyed you could turn to rule No. 31fs pro
videt that he mustn't look crosseyed and
then dump him in the gutter.
The thing isn't fair There amt 10
law % il and il don't go
Turning 10 the young woman he said ,
''YOu stay where y are, mum" and to
the conductor, ~Ifyou try to put her OF
without giving her back her fare II.
club your head Off
Ting vent the bell and on went the
car, dog, Young woman and alL-Ner
YgrE Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
New York's First Street Rail-
way.

Besides having the distinction Of be-
ing the first horse rhine in New York
city the New York and Harlem, now
commonly known As the Fourth and
Madison avenue line, has the honor Of
being the first street railway in the
world. The line vas incorporated on
April >, 1881, and the first ears were
run in November, IS33, from Prince st.
to Harlem bridge. The cars were almost
like the stage coaches that were IN use
then, each having three compartments
with side doors. They had leather
springs, and the diver sat on the eleyat-
ed seat in front and moved the brake with
his feet The 6rst cars were built BY
John Stephenson
The opening of the road excited a
great deal Of interest and the streets
along the route were crowded with spec
tators. The mayor and the members Of
the city council and other invited guests
occupied the cars. Il was thought by
many that there would be great diiticul-
t. in stopping the cars and avoiding ac-
cidents 10 other vehicles. one Of the Of
hcers Of the road determined 70 demon
strate that the cars could be brought 70 a
dead stop with ease, and after having IN
strucied the driver he stationed himself
Eith some witnesses n the corner of
Bond street and the B0NerT 70 await the
arrival Of the first ear. At his signal the
driver was 10 stop with al possible
haste. The driver Of the first ear, hGv-
ing had some experience, brought his
car 10 a stop easily, but the driver Of the
second car forgot the lever Of the brake
and simply drew ard on the horse lines
and shouted Whoa ~ The car slid
alon- and the tongue crashed into the
forward car and eaused the occupants
thereof to jump out No one was hurt,
and the cars moved on their Way 10 Har-
len bridge This is the first street car
collision in reco-d.-Nar Y0rE Sll.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Early Rising Not Always a Vir-
tue.


Thousands Of people have 10 choice
whatever about their hour o. rising in
the morning. Later or earlier, that hour
Is fixed for them by the requirements Of
the Office, the shop, OF the class room ;
BY the timetable Of the railroad By the
arbitration OF their employers or the ne-
cessities Of their employees Bat in the
cases manifold where personal liberty Is
enjoyed, It should not be thOughtlessly
restricted simply because Of the domestic
tradition that early rising deserves praise
and late rising blame. Breakfast may
often be a movable feast without materi-
ally disturbing the routine Of an orderly
housekeeping day. Invalids, mothers
whose rest has been broken By teething
babies, and, above all, rapidly growing
children, should have their sleep out,
Nature demands this, AMI violence is
done to her when sleepy people are rude
" aroused from their beds. Early q
bed Is the single safe prescription 10 In
sure early 70 rise
We need to repeal It over and over to
our hurrying. anxious, toiling American
men and women. Rest rest, and again
rest. Do Tot think time III spent that Is
spent in repairing the ravages Of our
weIinish incessant actiyi-y--Hlrpsr's
Br-rr-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
AN OLD PLAYED OUT SONG


rs tie curiousest thing IN creation,
Whenever hear that old song.
" Do They Mss Ne AT Home - In 50 bothered
Ny life seems as short a. rs long
For ev' thing 'Pesrs Ike adzaekiy
L 'pesrsL IN the years past and gone.
When started ont spErkia al twenty,
An had my arzt nsckercher On
Though n Erinkieder older and grGyer
Right nov than ny parents VS. then.
You strike up hat song. '' DO TAey Ms Ne
And N jest a youns,ster again
I n staadIn back there in TIE f1rries
A wishin' for eveniR 10 come.
Ami a whisperiai over and over
Them words. DO They Mss Ne At Home -
You see, Martha Ellea she sung Il
TIE frt time I heard ii snd 20,
As she vas ny very d-st sweetheart.
Il reminds ne Of her, fon't you know
How her face ust 70 look In Tie twilight
As mex her % Spelun aud she
KEEP hummin that song tel at her.
Pint ulank- ~ she ever missed me-
I can shet ny eye-. now. as yuu sing If,
And hear heriow anSwerin' words
And then the glad chfrp of The crickets
A clear ss the tWiiier Of birds
An the dnzt IA ihe road + Ike velvet,
And the rtg1veesi and fenaei ani grass
L a. sweet A. the scent OF The Ellss
OF Eien u Old. A. We pass
~Do They Mss Me Al Home sing it lowe
And softes-and sweet As the breeze
Thas powdered our path win the snowy
White bloom Of the OLD loerss- trees
let lie wipperEiiis help You % sing H.
And The echses 'ssa<oyer TIE bil-
Tel 5ac moon boOlsts OCT in chorus
OF STAR. and cur voices is stih
But- on Theg's 4 ehond in the music
Tiars missed Ehsn her voice is away -
Though listen from midnight III morning,
And dawn tell lie dusk Of the day
And 7 grope through the dark lookin' uparis
And on through the heavsuly dome,
With my l0ngin' SOU singin'. and sobhin'
The words, Do They Miss Ne a. Home
Jaa1s Hiacoslb Elcs-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Lady Of the White House.

To be tie mistress Of the White House
Is altogether tempting L IS "a position
f almost unequalei social power and
1rilencs, which has tested and proved
he tact. good sense, aaG true Woman
LcaI If the mcs- she Lave reached the
distinction In ordinary times the White
House IS thecenfer Of a social Life which
ixez popular attention, the movements
here are nalters II the sidssl public
interest. and many cfthem are Of such
haracter that the people in general feel
lsifthsv we're themselves participants
10 all the history Of ouE country this
-5ciaI life Tu the White House has been
,fthat simple and unprCteutous charae-
-er 50 becoming % the republican tastes
md habits Of tie people az large
With al rs te,n patton 90 ostentati1us
and Candy display aa1 Personal eze.u-
.iveuess. &, has a,Ezys been maintained
.uart from these The vives of The
Presidents. Ike the Presi ieas taeln-
-eIv-z. have cone fram the psop.e, and
have taken she simple bat Sufficient 50
sal forms CT the country into this most
conspicuous social position as the Lady
Of the White House. Cnier almost no
Administrator has the President him
self been more 6rnly fixei in the hearts
5fthe American people tE2n lie laiy
vho has directed the social life Of the
Executive residence dcring his terra ard
the names Of many Of these ladies' the
best types Of American woman hood
stands oGt almost as Prominently even
s the Names Of the Presidents
But the pcsi-ion has is penalties. The
exactIons haze been too mueh for some
ofthose upon- whom the responsibility
has been thrown. Even those whose
physical strength has proved suticient
To ali the emergencies have 0uuc -uca
in the never-eeasing social attentions
that was extremely Undesirable, even
5urieusome. The semi-quaiie ehGrlr-er
ofihs daily life ofau the members Of the
While Hcrse family IS sadly destructive
Of true do1 estic EslE
4 partial lfnc; a 4,oup,ets sel'ef has
been surge sad 5a tire iu.ir- asaaration ef
The family residence f7ea tire house IN
which tbe executive b1si1ess 7Stae whole
cation is transacted. Tla- xou.d cer-
tainly admit OF greater degree 81 Priva-
cy AMI qa5t. while In 10 sense detrafr-
ine from the socill IL the aIuiais-rltion
circle. The Waite House IL is present
condition IS not s1i;ei as i saol.t ue ID
family life. lt IS not desirable % de-
stroy the blllisng, flr iE has historical
ASSOCIATIONS that enLear ir10 tie Amsri-
can people b-t il might be aliai 70 50
that there shall be a practically separate
family residence, one wholeson1 heath
fGl and proper.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
SOMERSET, PA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST TO- 1892

heartily over the adventures at Uncle
Origen's house.
When Penelope Paxton next saw the
brids-elect, she chuckled and said:
@so il isn't to be case of Miss Betty
Baxter after ALP
Avice colored and said she didn't
krow what Miss Penny could possibly
mean
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
A Little Girls Experience in a
Lighthouse.

Mr.. and Mrs. Loren Trescott are keep
ers o. the Gov. Lighthouse at sand
Beach, Mich, and are blessed With 4
daughter four years old Last April she
was taken down with Measles, followed
by dreadful Cough and turning into
Fever. Doctors at home and AZ Detroit
treated her, but n vain. she grew worse
rapidly. until she was mere handful
Of bones Then she tried Dr. King 5
View Discovery and after the Use Of two
and half bottles, was completely cured
They say Dr. Kings New Discovery Is
worth It's weight IN gold, Jet you may get
a trial bottle free at J. y Snyder's Drug
store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

Who have takea Hoods SIrsapariila
what they think os e, and the replies
VIII be positive IN its favor. O1e has
been cursd Of Indigestion and tgspepz-Al
another dads il indispensable flr Sex
headache, others report remarkable cures
Il scr0fIia, sat rhsum AMI other blood
disease. still others vii tell yoG that i1
ogercomes that tired iesliug. and 80
on. Traly. the best aivertisirg which
Hood's Sarsapariiia resolves e ihe hearty
sndorement Of the array offrieniis it has
Won by its positive medical merit-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Business Enterprise

ManufactureF-Whatare are we g7in % do ?
oar rivals haze lust voted 70 spend slue,-
OOJ "a advertising hat their baking pow
der does net contain a particle Of alum
Chief Cisrk-Th4t's simple enough
Soend 500 000 ia adgertising that ours
il the only baking powder IL the market
n which alum 3 an Ingredient
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Easily Account For.

The Village PAstor-Johnny, sou tell
me you have been % sandy school ?
The Bal Boy-Tss- sir
The Village Fazsor-BIi, Johnny, your
hair IS wet
The Bad Boy Yes sir, ii'sa Baptist
sunday schOol.-Jesier-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
Skins Used for Writing Pur-
poses

The SKINS Of animals were an ancient
material for writing. The rolls Of books
mentioned BY Bible writers we're Proba-
bly rolls Of skins, and some very ancient
copies Of the Bible preserved By the Peo-
pie Of India are said 70 be Of leather
ysr Y0rk W0riL.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

If you are not feeling strong AMI zeal
thv, try EIectric Bittsrs- II Il Grip pc
has IeH yoG weak and weary. use Elec-
tric Biuers. This remedy acts directly
on the Liver, StJmach and kidneys,
gently aiding those organs to perform
their functions II you are afflicted with
SEX Headache, you viii 6nd speedy and
permanent relief by taking Electric Biz
sers. Oue triaI EiI eouvince yOG that
this IS the remedy you need Luge bot
ties onIy 50 cents At J. \. Snyder's drug
store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

Boy Please, your holiness, there's 2
lady down stairs A wOald hS % see
you.7
The Pope Who Is she, ny la.i p
Boy Queen Victoria, your never
eace-
The P0pe-'Tell her am not Al home.
Oas cannot be too careful IN leap year
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

It Is our aim to present at eve
~ season a Line of Goods Of
the Newest Patterns ard Lat
est Styles. We have lab0red
hard In selecting a stock for
the coming season, and are glad
TO say that We have succeeded
in buying goods that are su-
perb in style, and at prices
that have the magnetic power
TO draw and retain trade.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
FOR DYSPEPSIA,
Ayers SarsapariIIa

IS an effective remedy. as numerous tsstimo-
ni2is conclusiyeiy prove For two years
! was constant sufferer frem dyspepsia
aHd liver complaint I doctored a long
tine and tie medicines prescribed, in nearly
every case. only aggravated the disease.
An apothecary advised me % use Ayers
Sarszpsrillz- I did SO, and was cured
az cost Of S5 since that tine /. has
been nay family medicine. and sickness has
become a stranger 70 our household
believe K % be the best medicine on earth
p. F. MeNUity, Haekman, - Summer ST,
Lowell Mass
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
FOR DEBILITY,
Ayers SarsapariIia

Is certain cure, when the complaint origi-
nales in impoverished blood II was 4
great sufferer from a low condition OF the
blood and general debility. becoming fnaIly,
50 reduced that was unit for work Moth
M that ! did f0E the complaint helped ne
50 much As Ayers Sarsaparllla, a few bottles
Of which restored me 70 health and strength
] take every opportunity 10 recommend this
medicine IN similar cases. &C. EFlck. Il E.
Main 81, Chillicothe Ohio.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10

nRLS N1IILLEN-
- r--Lu.l-z r1i DeasilcrE-l
7s z7-eal attention - the preservsti0n o.
--= l -ee-1 A-lEcaI sets inserted Al
a----ls --1-a-lae1 satisfactory. Othce IN The
- b. a. I-llEe-l & Co. > store, corner
4-- GUS and Patriot streets
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
GENTS Furnishings,

4 large and complete stock
just received, and are now pre-
pared 10 furnish all who want
a speciality in this line. We
introduce correct styles as soon
as out. We also carry q full
stock Of
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1892-08-10
DRESS
GOODS

We are daily gaining trade in
this department, consequently
have bought 4 large stock,
adapted to I'll the wants Of
everyone
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-02-19
Time Saving Tubes.

We Americans are apt to think that we
have monopoly on all the labor saving
contrivances and devices for making
short cuts in distances. 1t is therefore
with some surprise we read that over in
Europe they are sending letters between
Paris and Berlin, distance of several
hundred miles in an hour and half.
sometimes even in thirty-fivc minutes.
This is accomplished by means of pneu.
matte tubes, fact that suggests posi-
bilities in the way of future rapid transit
which, it may be, the United States will
be the first to develop fully.
The only use of these means of com.
municatIon in this country on anythiny
like an extended scale is, SO far as we
know, the Western Union Telegraph
Company's system of transmitting mes.
sagcs between its head offices in Dey
street, New York, and its branch at
Twenty-third street. These two points,
distant about two miles and half, are
connected by double pneumatic tube
beneath the surface of Broadway.
The city of Paris is covered, or rather
undermined, by network of such tubes,
with numerous stations at which messages
are received and delivered. The special
cards provided for this service by the
French postal authorities are no doubt
known to most of those who collect
foreign stamps. Tile A,yosy.