Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1892-11-07

cided to quit. If you don't feel like
hound you don't feel natural. OF
all the contemplate animals that
ever comes across my eyes these
cutters are the most contemplate.
The Msthodists know they've got re.
ligion but are afraid they'll loose it.
Presbyterians are not certain they've
got it but they know they can't lose
it. Its highcockalorum and low
oockahirum. I'd come in and stay.
Methodists have more religion and
keep it shorter time than any peo-
pie. Presbyterians don't have much
but they hold to it,
Mr.. Jones closed his sermon with
an earnest appeal to his hearers to get
on Gods side and stay there.
THE NIGHT SERMON.
More people were at the 1880 SER
vice than at the first. The music was
excellent, and the evangelist was on
his mettle. His text was "Wisdom
is better than weapons of war;
but one sinner destroyeth much
good" The LEAF.CHRONICLE has
not the space at command to follow
him through this sermon. He
preached over an hour and the SER
mon was a terrific arraignment of the
whisky traffic and society, so called.
His central thought was that wis
dom as used in the text meant re-
ligion. A wise man il q religious
man. Religion is the best weapon
of warfare. Religion is the best
thing in life, the best thing ih death
and the best thing in eternity.
SOME OF HIS SAYINGS.
Sin bankrupts a man here and
damns him in eternity.
A great many people in Clarksville
have found something better than re-
ligion. They go about dressed,
combed and perfumed for hell. The
devil can Smell you coming.
A horse and saddle are good things
to have if the horse is headed the
right way.
Clarksville is dying with respecta-
bility. Some of you are polished in
swearing you don't cuss twice in the
same sentence. You never swear be-
fore a preacher. You have more
respect for him than you have for
God.
These little society Bucks 60 around
perfumed to kill. They are as rotten
as damnation. Some of them get
mad and threaten to kill me. If I
live until / am killed by any OF them
Mathuselah will he baby by the
side of me. l could tie both hands
behind me, put my toes in my mouth
and whip COW pen full of them. II
you cuss tomorrow I'll set it down
that you are one of the dogs l have
hit. II you fool with me III just
spit on you and drown you.
The biggest objection l have to
girls is that they will mix with
boys theg know are not clean. Girls
ought 10 be as select in their associa-
tions as boys. If the boys know you
are not clean they won't associate
with you. Pm talking sense to you,
little dudines. You are good girls,
but you are silly. Your trouble ia
above the eyes. When the trouble
gets there you are gone fawnskin.
If you are a clean boy Pm your
friend. If you are dirty Pm here to
wash you in soap suds. / Idon't know
what / will do with the suds when |
get through. If what I say hurts
you, it's not you, it's your system.
My illustrations are not elegant
but they illustrate.
Saloon keepers are here because you
patronize them. What sort of ami
mails are you? You need cowhide,
you low down devil.
III was your wife / would as soon
sleep with II wet dog as to sleep with
you when you are drunk.
/ heard preacher take good text
one time. / thought the fur would
fly. He wormed among his hearers
like a snake and didn't hit one. /
wanted to holIer Shoot Luke or give
up your gum There wouldn't be
any saloons here If you preachers
would load right.
never cut monkeys tail of an
inch at time. The poor thing
would bleed to death. Cut it off be-
hind the ears at the first whack. 1t
won't bleed to death then.
Some of you fellows are fit for
nothing but to be butted to death by
goat. would hate to be the goat.
This is mighty bad time to be
advising you to quit drinking, right
on the heels OF an election. Some of
YOU will be drunk before Tuesday
night.
SERVICES TODAY.
About 1900 people assembled at
the Warehouse this morning at 1890
| to hear the evangelist. His subject
was Paul's conservation to God.