The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1892-02-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
,oft snap1The woollY dog.

A high-toned chap-The fellow with
the falsetto voice.
Not unfrequently the butcher becomes
hare dresser. Courier.
Running expenses arc those which you
pay as you go.-Augusta Chronicle.
Atlas was the first leading gentleman.
He supported Earth in her great roll
Puck.
Yelling at a street car for fastening
lady is sort of charity bawl.-7erds
SUtings.
There is no particular harm in riding
hobby, if you do not take up the whole
road with it.
Bashtul young men ought to practice
sparkling with dumb-bells. Bingham
ton Republican.
A cut from an incompetent tailor is
one of the saddest things that a social
aspirant has to bear.
The older the man grows, the less he
is disposed to see how near he can skate
to danger sign.-The Waterbury.
Husband-"We must economize."
Wife-"Well, dear, what do you want
me to give up."-New York. Press.
1t is quite natural with some men that
the thread of their narrative should be-
come badly warped. - Columbus Post.
"oh, yes, 1 often have to sit on the
jury" said the Supreme Court Judge, as
he administered a reprimand. Life.
Silence is not golden for the poor
maiden who is dumb when rich suitor
asks for her hand. Morning Journal
When man starts out to reform him.
self he has undertaken a job that will
keep him busy for life,-Ram's Horn.
"Ohef' this month has an article on
''Boiled Batters." "Roasted Umpires"
are more common. Minneapolis Journal.
''Sweet is the bread of in iustry,"
1t hath been sagely said.
And yet by loafing Oft is made
The sweetest kind of bread
-Chicdgo Tribune.
Bachelors are creatures who have con-
suited their female relatives before ven
turing on matrimony. ny.-Ml'oaukee Tri-
JURe.
The trouble wish "men of iron" is
that they are apt to get rusty without
knowing it-Bsmarck for instance
Puck.
Looking too closely at dollar Doesn't
make it any bigger, but it very often
makes the soul good deal smaller
RAMS Horn.
"He stole watch" said the police
man, referring to the prisoner. "Then
he shall do time" replied the Judge
The Waterbury.
Little Sister (as she catches sight of
Chappies chrysanthemum)-"Oh, look
therel Mr. Van has got sisters powder
puff in his button hole. '-Judgs.
Weary of Well Doing: Mother
"Cscar, why can't you be good boyp
Hayward Four Year, Old" Mamma, it
makes me SO tired. - Chicago Tribune.
Though legal usage does not will
That lawy ers plead "A special gear in,
At court Z is common for them still
To have a lawsuit TO appear in.
Puck.
'Is this Il fast train9" asked the travel
ing man OF the conductor. "Of course
it s." was the reply. 81 thought so.
Would you mind my getting out to see
what it is fast to3 "--Nei0 York SIN.
Ambitious Author-"Naggus, am
obliged to you Tor not pulling my last
story all to pieces" Literary Editor
''Not at all, Borus; couldn't get hold
of the thread of it. - Chicago Tribune.
"Are you pretty well acquainted with
your mother tongue, my boyi' asked the
schoolteacher of the new scholar. ''Yes,
SIR" answered the lad timidly; "ma
jaws me a good deal. sir. The Comic.
"There is one great satisfaction l
have, remarked the tortoise as he drew
in his head and closed his house for the
night show ever much my social rivals
will hate me because | am in the swim,
they can't stab me in the back. '--Puct.
Mrs. B.-"How is the contested will
case coming on, Mr.. Sbimmerl" Mr..
shimmer-"It's all settled and in my
favor" Mrs. B.-."I congratulate YOU.
Isuppose you'll soon be taking your family
to Europef' Mr. Shimmer-"No; but
sr is going to take his. u p