The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1892-08-10
P'INTS FROM PINEToP.

Once more!
Did you ever see the like of so many
newspapers?
What do you want to start another
paper for?" said Ben franklin to his
brother Jim. "There are already three
in the United States"
That was over hundred years ago.
There are 27,G00 now-counting our
own Herald and News.
What will Bennie say to Jimmie
when he hears this?
| How can man attend to business
and listen to his wife and play with
the baby and read all the papers?
How does he manage to keep up
with everything-and live?
like to read lnyseln-and something
else besides politics. -
But T do not have the time to do
this and attend the barbecues and
j.drink in the speeches of the dear can
didates.
wish there were only few papers
and they contained the concentrated
and combined extract and essence of
all the news and intelligence of the
globe.
Then fellow could succeed in fully
keeping abreast of the times.
But if he were to attempt to keep up
with everything now be would hardly
have time to eat and sleep.
He'd have to sell his old clothes for
rags, burn green and sobby pine in the
winter, huddle up in the smoke on a
cold and rainy day by the mewing and
fea-bitten cat and sit beside the wet
and hungry dog.
| IN. B.-Have you ever tried that?
! Dog my cats, but I've been there.
Babies. yelling ali around you at the
same time. Oh, it's niee.]
I like to keep posted as near as posi-
bic, but also like to 60 fishing in the
summer time and see Manager Nc
Caughrin's boys play ball in front OF
Mr.. Wilson's handsome residence
And eat cherry pie and peach pre-
serves and jam-be jamned if I don't.
Why dude wouldn't have the time
to 60 see his best girl and admire the
latest fashions and feast on the taste OF
her style, you know.
What would Solomon say about
books and newspapers now?
If he, were living IN these days and
times don't think he would have as
much sense as they say he had in his
generation.
(Not if he read the State and the
Register everyday and Sunday too and
believed what they said all the way
through).
And neither would the late lamented
Job have had the exalted reputation
that is now paid to his memory.
The only man Of this or that dispen'
sation who could sustain his reputation
now would be Ananias.
And he could do very well without
the aid of Sapphira if he lived in New
berry during an election year.
But to proceed.
BY the time one gets through daily
with Queen Victoria and the Prince OF
Wales, the Car of Russia and his dy-
namiters, the Emperor of Germany
and his labor strikers, the President Of
the French Republic and his commu'
nists, and with all the uneasy heads Of
Europe that wear crown;
And comes over to America and bat.
ties with free coinage and the Pinker.
tons and our anarchists;
And then comes down into South
Carolina and tackles the State cam.
paign, to say nothing Of Newberry pol
itics, I tell you, Mr.. Chairman,
| He has his hands full.
And by the time he reaches PinetoI
and goes to bed, after having tried IL
| vain to keep up with the procession
| with the thermometer 81 and half ir
the shade, he goes to sleep and has the
| nightmare and cramp collie in bis
weary mil d; natures sweet restorer
balmy Sleep" is turned into troubled
dreams; his alleged brain is tired toe
and tosses in the heat-all jumbled uE
in one unintelligible, unrecognizable
impenetrable mass and mess
| Ringing in his very ears
| Tillman and Sheppard. banks ano
railroads., corporation and labor, Coo
saw and Clemson, News and Courier
| and Greenville News, State and Regis.
ter, Irby and Dibble, CAN'T this ano
Gonzales that, lie and no lie, Cleve
land, Cleveland, Cleveland, third par
ty, who said it? prove it, name thu
man, take it back, you're another, OF
pshaw! $3 pole cat, educational qualifi
cation, caucus, caucus. caucus, Johr
| Smith-iumber-and-Duncan, etc., etc.
etc., until those Of US who
| Are not quite fit subjects for tht
| lunatic asylum, don't exactly know .
| What would be the best thing to dt
under the circumstances for the gooe
r Of the country.
| IF this be treason, give me liberty o.
give me-a rest. NEEDLE.