The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-12-08
WIT AND HUMOR.
TEN YEARS AFTER GRADUATION.

The original "yauit of heaven" was
made when the COW jumped over the
mOon.-PHck.
shes a very upright young lady"
Yes, bat she's bent on matrimony."
Rtiladelphia Times.
The bunko man is not fastidious.
He lives on the simplest thing he can
fnd.-Etmira Gazette.
The sign-painter may make dollar
while the steeple-painter is making
ascent. boston Courier.
what is your husband doing now?"
Nothing. He has been appointed to
an office. IN I. Press.
The fair sex is capable of almost
anything when driven to it. Example:
Nancy Hanks NcJCS.
Some people think that time is not
| going well with them when they can't
| get any Philadelphia Times.
Ruggins says the man who did his
!. plumbing is the most bilious person
he ever saw.-Bjnghanat0m Republican.
The young man who is found every
day at the race course is on the wrong
track, SO to speak. = YOnGerS States
! man.
The greatest triumphs of mind is
when man knows enough to mind
| his own business. s.-NerideR Repubtt-
can.
When a man finally does give up and
| cry, he looks so much like a drunken
man that he gets no sympathy.-Atcht-
| son Globe.
Sunday-Sch0ol Teacher-"Wh loves
everybody, Johnnie?" Johnnie-"My
| pa does, cos he is runnin' for office. y
TEXAS SJtings.
"Gosh." exclaimed Josiah Punker-
| ton as he gazed at the leopard in the
menagerie. les look at them freckles!"
| -IVGShiHgt02 star.
"Lady-"Where IS my trunk?" Bag
gage Mani couldn't find any trunk.
mum, but I've got the handle with the
check on."-N l. Weekly,
Shc-"Why do men always want to
| go out and see man between the
acts at the thcater?" He-"I suppose
they get tired looking at hats. ."--LJc.
It's funny thing, Jones, that we
never speak of our poor relations be-
hIiiNA lLitil tiChS' - Z uDll iltN Z 10.
The poor are always with us. ""-Puck.
Jagson says it is evident that the
man who talks about the silent watches
of the night doesn't sleep with q
Waterbury under his pillow.-ELmirG
Ga%ete.
If the little conscience of some men
can make towards of them, think how
wild broom with . mad woman be-
hind it must make them quake. e.-DaI-
faS NeICS.
speaking of George Washington,
remarked the bachelor, Il wonder if
his sister-in-law ever asked him his
real opinion of her new baby."-Ia-
diaadp0LiS Journal.
The Groom very wealthy)--"Whv
did you marry an ordinary chap like
me?' The Bride - Il haven't the
slightest idea; mamma managed the
whole affair. ."-Lye.
Its been puzzling my BRAIN" mad
vertently remarked Snodgrass. "What
has?" asked Sniyely. "Whether
man with glass eye ever has pane
in it."-JcUctcr'S CtrcuLW.
Sporting Man-"He was a great
pugilist once but he doesn't amount
to anything any more" Jones-"Has
he lost his strength?' Sporting Man
-"No; his voice. Truth.
Mrs. Fifty (yho thinks she appears
youthtully)-lou may be surprised to
hear that that tall young man is my
som Mr. GaucAe Yes, indeed. |
tao1gAt he was your grauJson."-
Lji..
Watts - Were You ever afflicted
with insomnia?" Lushforth -"Once.
It's great, isn't it9 Fellow can 90
ahead and drinl, two dozen hours
out of the twcnty-four." - Hdjan-
apoliS J0uyUal.
She-"This is picture of my broth
er, and this is of myself" Hc-"He
does not look like YOU in the least.
She-"W ell. y0u see the pictures were
not taken by the same photographer.
IcraS SJjjngs.
Mrs. Broughnc-"Isn it sad? Mr..
RGbric our young minister. is dead"
Mrs. Smith-"lIow shocking! Did he
leave any property?" "Thirty-seven
pairs of embroidered suspenders, l be-
lieye. "-BuBaio ETprtss.
Jaggs Brace up, Old man; if it
weren't for reycrses no one would find
out your good qualities" Raggs-"f
would rather have little prosperity
and have my good qualities remain an
unknown quantity. -Br3o5lya E9gte.
This isn't the first time you have
come in contact with the police,S said
the lawyer TO the witness. No, sir. I"
was the reply. what. may | ask,
was the result of your former encount-
err" Il awoke him." - IVdShiRgto',
Star.
Clara-"You certainly must have
some courage, Charlie. You were
brave enough to propose to me when
Charie-"If | had known you longer,
perhaps | should not have been. p
Brooklyn Life.
He said ii she would give him a kiss
he would not ask for another. "But,
dear" she said roguishIy, what if
wanted auother?" "Oh, that will be
all right" he assured her Kisses are
like sheep; when one leads the others
follow. ."-Detr0H Free Press.
Mother-"Have you heard how Mr.
Spanker is this morning?o Small Son
--"Oh, he's all right. He's gettin'
well fast" who told you?" NO
one" Then how do you know?" His
little boys had begun to hear wen
their mother calls. GOOD NeaCS.
"What l am most worried about"
said the doctor to the sick editor, " is
your blood. | want to find out about
the circulation" Circulation. gasp
ed the patient. Look here, doctor. it
isn't square deal to work me for
death-bed confession" = Washington
Star.
Gusher entertaining friend) )-@Ah,
dear boy, what can equal this-eh? A
bottle of good wine and the cares of
the world lost in the fragrant clouds