The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1892-02-03
UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.
I A Woman's Views on Some OF the Causes
That Lead to Them.

and disilluSioned husbands and wives
SO long as women think selfish, petty,
tyrannical thoughts, and men think
only of the physical woman. There
must be a mental and spiritual COM
partnership between mana and wife o.
the most ardent attraction and infatua-
ton cannot last long or produce happi.
ness.
But us men with we'll developed
mcntal and spiritual natures are hard
to lind, and scarce in the matrimonial
market, 1 suppose mothers will con-
tinue to desire good home for their
daughters who marry. In all of nv
observation / recall but two mothers
who have endeavored to force their
daughters into marriage with rich
men. have seen many mothers OBJ
ject to their marriage with poor men;
but l have known of but these two
cases where they urged an unwilling
daughter to marry n man she dislilxed
because he had money. Both mothers
were silly Drained women, with small
intelligence. and both daughters re-
fused to be sold.
have read of many cases where
daughters married rich men to save
their fathers business honor, or to
shield their parents from poverty. 1
do not know of any such cases out of
books, but no doubt they exist.
American girls are altogether too in
dependcntly reared to become slaves in
the matrimonial market, it seems to
me. | can imagine q daughter COM
polling her mother to marry a second
time whether she wishes to or not, but
cannot imagine the reverse. / once
knew girl who actually drove timid
little mother into obtaining divorce
from her husband, who had bullied
and abused her all her life. But when
the daughter came home from board
ing school she took the domestic reins
in her own hands, and drove the bully
out.
American mothers see m to me pa
thctic slaves to their daughters whims
and capriccs No doubt many fashion
able women rear their daughters with
false ideas of the Importance of money,
and low ideas of the value of morals in
men, and thus reared, it is an easy
matter for young lady to be bought
by moneyed sutton who has no moral
or mental worth. But to coerce, argue
willing union believe to be as impos-
siblc as to drive a Texas steer or a
mustang pony against their will
The most unhappy wife know to-
day is woman who married IN i'm
mensc fortune with Il man attached to
it But she married of her own free
will and desire, knowing that the man
was selfish, brutal crank. She is
rcaping what she sowed, and is hourly
praying for death to release her, as she
is too refined to brave the shame and
miro of the divorce court
One of the happiest couples know
can be classed among the poorest pco-
pie, financially speaking, of my per-
sonal acquaintance. What makes
their poverty harder to bear is the fact
that they have seen better days; but
their love for each other is so genuine
and sweet, and their companionship so
perfect, that they find great happiness
in helping each other to keep cheerful,
in trying together to rebuild their
fallen fortunes, and in planning little
surprises for each other. ! think they
are happier in their poverty than they
ever were in their afiuence, for each
has discovered the true value of the
other.
The American girl and man has an
exaggerated idea of the value of money.
1t is the result of our sudden growth as
nation and the great wealth our
country has developed in so short a
time.
We have made the old world stare
with the glitter of our gold and the
size OF our diamonds; and it is the
American daughter who is ready to sell
herself for fortune in order to keep
the world staring, and not the Ameri-
can mother who is trying to sell her
daughter. She may be very well
pleased when she sees that her daugh-
ter is choosing rich husband instead
of poor one, but she is quite too sub
jective being to undertake to force
that rather awe-inspiring creature
her daughtcr-into marriage not to
her taste. She knows it would not be
wise and she refrains.
Perhaps many mother urges or con-
sents TO n loveless marriage for her
daughter because her own love dream
ended in such bitter sorrow and disap-
pointment.
The woman who marries money and
is unhappy is not SO unfortunate as the
one who marries for love and has her
illusions dispelled by neglectful or
faithless husband. No other sorrow
conld be so great as that. and the
mothers who have suffered il may
think their daughters are saved a like
grief by leaving love out of their lives.
Yet it seems to mo this is false reason
ing: At all events. no happiness can
possibly come to woman with heart
who marries man she does not love
or respect, aud whom she values only
for his money --Elln lYheaier ANilaas