The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1892-05-11
SOME CLUB MEMBERS.
CHARACTERISTIC INDIVIDUALS WHO
MAKE UP A WOMAN'S CLUB.


Critical Sketches of Persons Who Take
Prominent and Interesting Part in
the Organization known Always As
1.-THE woman's Club
The Ardent Young Member who has
just joined. She is so ardent. She has
never had the pleasure of writing any
statistics before, and now she opens her
mouth, eyes and notebook over them. To
her the horrors of Russia, the increase of
crime, the tenement house question, the
race problem, theosophy, physical culture
and drainage are delightfully."- alarming
questions, over which she weeps and fushes
and applauds as their many sides are pre-
sented and discussed. She listens with re-
spect and awe to every one who speaks
and trembles with delight to find herself a
member of such wonderful club. She
votes both ways with a feeble voice or
hand, and then conscientiously wonders if
she oughtn't to rise and explain, that a
new count may be taken. She never misses
a meeting, is always early; never gets up
to go out before the speaker has finished
and exhibits superfuous qualification if
any one speaks to her. She is very care
full to wear her good clothes to the club
and always spends considerable time on
her back hair.
The Tough Old Member is at once the
admiration and despair of the Ardent
Young Member, who wonders how she
ever dares to glare at the speaker as she
does and have so little respect for him or
her apparently. She is never enthusiastic
over anything, frequently turns up her
nose at things in particular or in general,
and often rises and goes out while the
speaker is in the midst of the lost delight
fully intricate whirl of startling statistics.
The Tough Old Member has sized up every
one in the club, and if the occasion de-
mands, is not delicate about expressing her
opinions. She stands in awe of no one, In
not deceived over any ones age or intellect,
never applauds, seldom criticises in any
way, but has an I-know- e-whole-business
air, which shuts up fresh members like the
camp chairs they sit in.
The Frivolous Member is not always
well spoken of, but often relieves the meet
ings of the gloom that sometimes gathers
about them and makes break in the mists
of monotony in which they are annually
engulfed. Though the majority of the
members do not care to giggle, the minor
ity that care to but do not dare to feel a
sort of safety vale in the Frivolous Mem
Der and enjoy her presence. The Frivolous
Member means to be frivolous; it is no I'M
comfortable and unexpected impulse that
besets her. She premeditates and arranges
her frivolity that its startling contrast to
the other members grave composure may
be unmistakable and pronounced and gain
for her the distinction which a jerky and
spontaneous frivolity would never bring.
And we have the Ladylike Member. Wo-
men who fall over chairs and drop UNI
brellas have a singing appreciation of her
and sneaking hope that she doesn't know
much. She is always composed and well
attired, listens attentively, only smiles with
one side of her face at a time and avoids
discussion. She has the same salutation
for her twenty-five and fifty cent neighbors,
and people do not feel obliged to draw in
their feet when she passes them. The Lady
like Member is ladylike way through. We
do not feel that she slams door after her
when she is out of sight or unnecessarily
twirls chair around like top to relieve
suppressed feeling. We somehow feel that
her composure is built on Christian spirit
and gentle heart.
The Grumbling Member is another safety
valve for the other members. Sure that
every deficiency, from the bylaws to the
front door mat, have been or will be at
tackled by her. the others can afford to as
sumo the amiable virtues which they have
not, confident that their battles will be
fought for them. The Grumbling Member
is ever ready to fight battles-scents dam
ger affair off and never gets over dangers
past.
The Grumbling Member approaches the
club with a frown that makes even a
doughty director yearn for refuge in the
coal scuttle or a temporary perch on the
top of an elevator.
The Vigorous Member is divided into two
classes-she who accomphshes something
with her vigor and she who does not. The
former is the leaven of an often lumpy
club, while the latter is as maddening as
twenty-four tons of ceal sliding from four
horse cart. One electrifies, the other irri-
tates. One makes motion and carries it
out, while the other is flying about crying
what ought 10 be done. One brings water,
while the other yells "Fire" The Vigor-
GUS Members often relax, from criticism or
overexertion, and warm spring day OF
peace and pleasant platitudes settles over
the club; but suddenly, like the east wind
that arises and begins to slam doors and
blow dust around the corners into your
eyes, the Vigorous Members awake to &C,
tion and the club remountS its roller coast
ers of rumpus and reform
And the other members are: The Timid
Members, who rise to speak and wish they
hadn't, or those who do not rise to speak
and wish they had; the Bellicose Members,
who could work wonders if they had only
had some old Cy Prime to back them; the
members who only come when there Is
something to eat, and the members who
only come to gossip in the dressing room;
the member whose manner b a constant
apology for living, and the member who
nails every one TO the wall while she ex-
amines them; the member who likes to
whisper while a paper is being read, and
the member who wants the city noises TO
cease while she listens; the Sociable Mem
Der. who is as popular as the penny post,
and the Mean Member, who talks about
all the other members.-Boston Gazette.