Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1892-04-22

was informed by the manager that tw o
valuable cloaks had been stolen right
under my nose.
The JOB of catching the thief wasn't
as easy as supposed and l began TO
think wasn't much Of detective, after
all-at least, when there was woman
in the case.
But dared not show any signs of no.
knowing my business, and assuming an
.'all right" manner, l told my cloak
man that on the next day the bird would
be trapped, as it always took while to
make observations and form theories, and
then arranged to meet HIM on the floor
early in the coming morning before any
of the employees arrived.
Before went to sleep that night l
laid my plans.
In the morning bright and early was
around and with the manager alone went
on the cloak floor to make the needful pre-
parations to distinguish or extinguish
myself.
Selecting one of the largest dummies
and seeing that the brown muslin dress
over its skeleton frame was in good or
der an reached to the floor, l told my
astonished dry goods man that intended
TO hide under it and there lie in wait for
the thief. whom meant to nab when the
cloak over me was removed, being, of
course, able to know that by the light of
the salesroom shining through the thin
muslin covering.
He smiled at the queerness of the pro-
ceeding, but told me to go ahead and
nromised TO be on hard In case wanted
assistance.
Putting on the dummy an elegant
cloak for bait, he helped me to hide Sc
curely under it, and, wishing me success
he left me with laugh which, must
say, 1 didn't feel like echoing.
Soon heard the store people tramp
ing in and the young salesladies trip
ping by me and chatting gaily as they laid
aside their wraps and hats preparatory
to commencing the labors of the day.
They seemed immensely merry over
something very funny, aud their peals OF
musical laughter sounded sweet to my
eager ears until, alas, sadly discovered
that I, the new floor walker, was the sub
iect of their witticisms and ridicule.
How l wanted to suddenly pop out
from my iguoble hiding place and
souelch them as they deserved, but the
certainty of only making myself more
ridiculous and being met with redoubled
laughter kept me in my mean and un-
happy position-under female skirt.
By and by, and greatly to my minds
relief, the smart remarks followed by
reals of merriment gave way to the sober
hum and hustle of business.
For hours sat IN my cramped and un-
comfortable hiding place, feeling like
fool, and, no doubt, looking like one.
Crazly excited shoppers brushed against
the dummy, beneath which a bigger
dummy squatted, aud several times nearly
knocked it over, so had plenty of &C.
cupation in holding it down. Once the
cold sweat came out all over me and my
hair stood up straight when some one
tried to lift my strange tent from the
floor and expose the "handsome new
floor walker" squattiug like tailor, ,and
looking like boiled lobster under it.
You may believe held on with grip
which death itself couldn't unclasp till
the danger was gone.
Noon time came. Hungry, thirsty,
tired and with bones aching from cramp,
there was aud there had TO stick till
night or my anxiously hoped for shop
litter came-if that was her day.
heard the clock strike "2" and 49,"
and a." and in spite of patience and
grit, and pride, aud everything, swore
at myself and laughed at myself, and
vowed to myself that never more would
undertake to be smarter than a woman.
Henceforth should con6ne my detective
abilities exclusively to male "Jack the
Rippers" or ban cashiers, or else peddle
peanuts for living.
While thus engaged iu sorrowful
meditations and trying painfully to ease
my cramped body without exciting at
tention, was aroused by some one tug
ging at the cloak, and lifting the
dummy skirt could just see pair OF
dainty ieet Then, in an instant, of the
cloak slipped-the dim light shining
through the dummy's muslin covering
telling me-and, like fash, l sprung
from my hiding hole and-of all the
shrieks aud bushes and indignation l
ever knew, those from the elegantly
dressed and exquisitely beautiful young
lady had captured took the prize.
At once I was the centre Of panic
stricken and terribly angry mob of
females who wanted TO kill me, and toss
what was left of my miserable carcass
out the window. And if the big, de-
partment manager had not promptly
rescued me from their clutches, after my
coat tails had been ripped of aud my
foe side whiskers badly damaged, they d
have done it.
During the battle, and careless OF my
Injuries. I kent tight hold OF my falr