Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1892-06-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A fresh skin-The latest confidence
game.
Beats the world-The impecunious
tramp.
A woman's will always has a lot of
codicils to it.
Among the goods that "won't wash"
is the article known as the small boy
Truth.
Wrinkles on the brow are times en-
dorsement of the note for borrowed
trouble.
The wonderful cheek of man some
times covers three or four achers. =
Galveston News.
The bundle on the end of stick is a
pretty sure sign of the man who has lost
his grip.-Puck.
No man is great enough to veto mill
linery bill after his wife has o. K ID it.
Galveston News.
Armies are frequently put to fight.
Perhaps that is what they have wings
for.-Boston Transcript.
The new monthly magazine, Good
Roads, seems to be on the highway to
success. Boston Herald.
Make friends with your creditors, if
you can; but never make a creditor OF
your friend. Texas Siftings.
Terse: Mudgc-"Oh, say, old man,
how are you off financially" Yabsley-
"Away. ."-Indianapolis Journal.
The world is full of men who have
things they want to sell for less than they
paid for them. -Atchisou Globe.
= The person who is afflicted with klep-
tomania always feels that he fought to
take something for it."-Washington
Star.
Pedestrian-"How is it that this street
is so much dirtier than the otheri" Cop
-"The women never walk here. Ne "
York Sun.
Hicks-"Digby is great man to stick
to his opinion Wicks-tAnd yet he
gives it to everybody he meets. boston
Transcript.
"Mrs. Primmius is exceedingly neat. d"
ayes. If she could have the earth she
wouldn't take it because it would be I'M
possible to keepit clean. "-Washington
Star.
Make up your mind to be more chari.
table for people, and the man you hate
most will come in while you are plan
ming where to commence. .--Atchison
Globe.
Jerseyman-"I want to buy brush y
Drug Clerk-"Tooth brushl" Jersey
man-"Naw What would | want d
tooth brush fora There amt no hair Oh
my teeth. New York News.
"Oh, spare me, dear angel, one lock
of your hair" bashful young lover took
courage aud sighed. "'fwere sin te
refuse 50 modest a prayer, SO take the
whole wig," the sweet creature replied
It'd Bits.
A Boston cynic asks in the Transcript
"What is loyelr And this IS his frivol-
ous answer: "Two heads with bur n
single thought, two fools that act like
one" Bless their hearts, anyhow
Buffalo Commercial.
Judge-"What extenuating clrcnn'-
stances eau you give" Counter ciler
"Please your honor, made the money
to paw my board bill." Judge -"Nofy
good it will pay your board and lodg
ings for fiteen years. '--frlnce1on
Tiger.
Railway Director-''We have divided
up the wVss sa that each ol the direction
has fair share 10 N iIigginson D
Secretary am Treasurer, ana e-..at is--
Friend-"Why, Proat is 50 deaf that ~,
can't hear thunder, WHAT docs be doi
hallway Direetor-''oa, all the com
plants are referred 10 him.
"several OF the leading parishioner
have complained 10 me, said the psslnl
as he wiped his glasses, ''ni the loaduesi
II the dresses warn hy snme et ths
young ladies Of the congregation, has
have refused % interfere ia the maitff'
as am s0 deaf that they cause ms u,
annoyance. ~ lifoehlyn Liglr'
Insurance Aeeat -''l caac - call You'
atteation 10 The fact lhai yonf ppliet -
pires to-day and bog sou IL sene~ =
Ec0aomisl ~-''Aegy soFfS, hut tbs = tNt
teuth yeU thai I haye insnfed ie Apel
company and naihlug has lspl'eaei, s'
have maslo up ms mlni - a. An9sbsl
eomnany fUe4euaO iH4sittF.