The morning news., 1892-02-28
WOMAN IN MANS FAvoRIrE PLACE.

kOb " nave dn auOTeF IN the shape OF
woman. She must wear your picture 10
her watch, she must take you to places of
amusement, send you flowers, permit her
self to look hideous in the color that suits
you; in short, it must be the old story OF
Romeo and Juliet, only both the lovers
must wear bangs. I number among my
acquaintances an old woman who has very
strong opinions. and 80 concluded would
ask her what she thought about this state OF
affairs. Tosay that she enorted is putting it
mildly. She said: "a friendship between
women, when it means pleasant compan-
ionship, sympathy Ia JOY or sorrow, and a
good, slsterly love. Is all right. But q
friendship that writes love letters, quotes
very nasty writer's, that talks about love
such as mortals never knew before, and
which makes fools OF women, in a sign Of
not only mental but physical decay in the
race. 1t comes largely from the fact that
men are becoming effeminate, or else
women wouldn't laugh at them when they
put on tulle skirts and do skirt dance"
WOMEN WHO LIKES BIG MEN,
Until the American man is physically
bigger, women will, it is likely, commit all
sorts Of follies. do not believe in woman's
suffrage; what do believe in is that fools
of women, and unfaithful women, should
each have sound whipping in the public
square. Goodness gracious II this were
carried out. there would be no getting past
Madison square. and the druggists round
about would make fortunes from salves to
cure, not wounded honor, but bruised flesh.
This old lady would be splendid one to
train wives, but, like all people with de-
clded opinions, she has decided fads.
The chief one is for big men. She
carries this 10 such an extent that she
goes to church where the parson is feet 2,
for she says she wants to listen to man
who, she feels, can knock the devil out
physically as well as mentally. She doesn't
even care for small women. Her only ex-
cuse in her heart for my existence is, that
inherit my size from my grandmother,
and, consequently, couldn't be blamed for
it. | once pleaded with her for a small but
delightful creature. and, although quoted
that woman should Just reach to mans
heart, was silenced by her look, and the
information that she ought to be on level
with his brains, and SO be some sort Of @
companion for him.
RESERVED FOR THE MEN.
What deal that companionship means II
That companionship between a man and a
woman, that grows sweeter and stronger
and stiller as the months go by. l say
stiller because. as two people learn to know
each other and to read each others hearts,
they do not need to speak every word; a
look tells. And this compeniouship is no
more possible between two women than it
would be between two parrots. II Is formed
or man and of a woman. am very con-
ventioDal, my friend; hope you are, too.
| couldn't love any woman in the world as
could man, and couldn't sacrifice
for any woman in the world what l would
sacrifice for a man. The good God
made us that way. He didn't make us
to waste our love letters and our ooquetries
and our hearts on other women; no, indeed /;
they were intended for men. Sometimes
the man takes the heart and cares for it and
loves it until 1t beats with pride and Joy and
love for him; sometimes he takes il and
sights 1t aud forgets it and hurts it, and It
beats with love for him just the same; and
the brain that belongs to it comes and says
to it, He doesn't think, he doesn't know"
and the heart excuses, and grows broader
and more charitable and kinder; and some
day, when it ceases to beat, everybody
knows then what a dear, loving heart it
was. and most OF all is its loss felt by
THE MAN WHO NEGLECTED IT.
You think your heart would rebel against
this-this submission, this sublime bravery?
lt might, but what would you gain by it 2
You would be no better and no happier
woman If you opened your heart and said
to the multitude, Come and look at my
hurtsp How many would put oil on the
bruises and how many would put vinegar?
Keep your hurts to yourself. my friend :;
it's decidedly the best way for the world at
large. aud it makes better and stronger
woman Of you.
After this you may be surprised to hear
me say that don't think much of sermons.
Well, don't. Not as they go nowadays.
wOMAN's IDEA OF A SERMON.
My idea of O sermon is one that lasts
about five minutes and in which am told
to be less quick tempered, and you ere told
how to be less sulky, and somebody else is
told how to be more generous, and still
somebody else is told how to honor his father
and his mother. l don't want to hear SER
mons about creeds. / don't want to hear
sermons that tell the $500 different mean
ings of one line in the Old Testament: l
want sermon that's going TO make you
and me better in practical way. l like a
sermon that takes the Ten commandments
and reads between the lines.
MODERN TEN COMMANDMENTS.
l. ThoOshalt not worship thy dinner.
ii. Thou shalt not fall down and worship
brandy burgundy, or any wine In bottles,
for the sins of the father will descend upon
the children unto the second or third degree
of them that are drunkards.
I'LL Thou shalt not speak lightly OF that
which thy neighbor honoreth.
". Thou shalt not make the Sabbath day
one Of horror, but, instead, gladness and
good will.
v. Thou shalt not make light of the weak
nesses Of thy father or thy mother. for age
and weakness will come to thee some day.
VI. Thou shalt not hurt by word or deed
any living thing.
VII. Thou shalt not defile thyself with
mean thoughts or words.
VIII. Thou shalt not long for, with an ILL
will. that which is the possession of thy
neighbor.
rbo,, ebaIt NOT &aIb
X. Thou shalt not speak Of love to the
wife Of thy friend.
When l began to write this l thought it
might turn out a song; instead of that, it
has turned out a sermon. Well it's pub
lished on Sunday, or close unto it, so read,
learn, aud inwardly digest the wisdom of
BAB.