The record-union., 1892-01-25
WAS SOLOMON WISE +?
"Squink" Thinks He Wasn't, and Gives
His Reason Therefor
The Preachers Yosemite Fish Story
Some of the First Families, and
Their Fitness as Colonists.

believe in allowing a reasonable
amount of literary latitude and poetical
license, especially to newspapers and
Sunday-schools; but every once in a
while read a statement somewhere, or
hear a sermon that viii neither stand up
nor lie down, and can't do anything with
1t. After reading some America Chilean
war news the other day went to church
to recover my faith in human integrity
and get back to my normal condition of
innocence. The worthy expounder of
the gospel announced as his text that
There dwelt men of Tyre who brought
fish and sold 10 the children of Judah on
the Sabbath
From this starting point he wandered
along in paths of righteousness until he
got to Yosemite Valley. l knew all the
time he had undertaken dangerous text
but l was particularly startled when he
began 10 introduce little fishing story of
his own. His first acknowledgment that
| lie never did go a-tishing on Sunday woke
me up, but when he began catching cod
! fish and porpoiseS in Yosemite Greek,
above the falls, went home.
After taking a walk in the open air of
our prevalent climate, / turned me to
VIC 4dSCoJ dllNltllOli VI Vic Nf1I
| still bent on finding truth and solid
ground. The good book, opened at ram
! dom, said, the first thing: But King
! Solomon loved many strange women
! OF the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites
| SldonlanS and Hittites." After saying
the King had thousand wives, 700 per
| cent. of whom were princesses and the
other 800 from the first families, the state
ment blandly concluded with: "And
they turned away his heart from the
! Lord"
Now what do you think of that for the
! experience of one forenoon? And yet
whenever 1 go to bank to cash a
check for four dollars l have to be identi-
| ned by policeman, and if tell anybody
anything l have to have two witnesses
along with me to swear to it. There is
something wrong with a republican form
Of government or the Mckinley bill
Still l wouldn't want to vote for King
solomon, nor support his administration
nor-his family.
And there was Azgad, for instance,
who was only a private citizen, as far as
known, or Supervisor, and he had 2,322
children; Senaah had 1880, and some OF
the other civilians had more. They
moved into Jerusalem to help fill up the
town. Jerusalem! five could get few
families like that into the doubtful States
a few days before election, we could elect
both tickets. If we had 1892 Azgads in
town the ballot system would have to be
revised, however
! certainly cannot question the wisdom
OF King Solomon at this late day, but the
conditions obtaining under his admins
tration were radically different 10 those
of the present time, or else l don't know
anything of consequence. OF course,
owing to the lapse of so many miscella-
neous years, things have changed, and
the Constitution has undergone many
amendments. Revolutionists, too, have
upset great many theories and theorists
at the point of the catapult, slungshot and
sword, and some of those Roman EN-
perors vetoed a great many bills and
people,, and then the Gauls came along
and destroyed all the Congressional Rec
ords, using the archives TO kindle con-
| flagrations with.
For all | know to the contrary, Solo
mon may have had divorce bureau or a
guillotine and crematory, and his wives
may not have had any mothers. l can't
! believe man like Solomon would be as
wise as he was and have thousand
mothers-in-law-not for any length OF
time.
If he did, it is no wonder he let the
whale swallow him. /. SQUINK.