The Portland daily press., 1892-12-22

the chair: nv tongue hangs out, and
buttons fall off my vest. I used to
think that nothing could stop me at
such times-not even the principles OF
English grammar. But had never
known McGarrahan and his stories in
those days, He is due here now in five
minutes, and at least must finish what
/ have to say about him before he ar
riyes. otherwise / might be led to speak
of him unkindly He doesn't like my
Office chairs, poor fellow. He shall
certainly have new one at Christmas.
shall buy 313 umbrellas for my type
writer girl. Probably it will not rain
on more days than that during the COM
ing year. So she will have an umbrella
to take out to lunch whenever she
leaves hers at home, with the wind east,
the sky overcast and the weather bull
letins explicit for clear. day. l shall
not tell her th at the nm hrAllas AFRO hero,
she will enjoy them more deeply if she
thinks they are mine. l will have one
ready every day, and will request her
to bring it back within fifteen minutes.
She will, of course, leave it in the
restaurant, or lend it to the young man
who waits for her in the shelter Of our
doorway on rainy days. She shall not
know how many more umbrellas !
have, for that would put a damper on
her innocent mirth. No, she shall have
just as much fun as in the past, when I
had only my wife's umbrella land for
giving spirit) to depend upon.
There is man who lunches with me
almost every day, upon whom would
like to bestow some token of my regard
His front name is Billy and, judging by
the way he eats, should say his last
name ought to be Goat, but he travels
under an alias. On alternate days l
paw for the lunch. That seems no more
than fair. On the other days he
matches quarters with me to see who
shall pay, and he s'sticks'' me with a
regularity which hesitate to ascribe to
chance. I hardly know what to give
this friend. 1t would seem as if SO
thrifty man could require nothing.
If there is anything he wants, why
doesn't he 60 and match quarters for it?
might give him an invitation to lunch
with somebody else. but that would not
express my real feelings toward him.
He is an entertaining fellow, and
he abstains from paying for things
on principle and not from meanness.
Why should anybody pay for any
thing when there are ''soft marks"
like me born every minute? | will
give him bottle of old DR.. Manhat-
tan's perpetual appetizer. / will give
him a quarter with two heads on it
and dated odd on one side and even on
the other. He fills his place in the
economy of nature. Yes, it is certainly
in the economy department that his
place is found.
would remember all such fellows as
Billy. They are the men who can be
made happy by a present They can
appreciate the advantages of acquiring
property in that way. Nature fur
nished them with this appreciation,
and if we others have anything left
after they get through, we should give
them part of it. Why should we
give to the generous man-to the giver?
Do we send our watches to the black
smith? Certainly not; we send them to
the pawnbroker. He knows what to
do with them; he has probably had
them before. Let us, in like manner,
bestow our Christmas gifts upon the
person who knows how to take, who is
an expert at it, who takes everything
in sight. This will be good exercise
in generosity, and after you have done
it once or twice, the really deserving
may stand chance of getting some
thing out of you.
HOWARD FIELDING.