Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1892-11-11
PITH AND POINT.

language oil Dlars.-Statesman.
Generally a slow match-A bashfur
young mans ourtship.-Drake's Maya
zine.
It's queer man who wouldn't rather
feel his oats than his corns.-Phila.
delphia Times.
A prize fight is called smill" he
cause the other fellow is reduced to pulp.
Baltimore American.
There are men who tire themselves
almost to death looking for any easy
| place.-Rain's Horn.
Even the cgotist expects more of his
fellow-man than he can accomplish him
'elf.-Washington Star.
Any person can get there but the
question is what is he going TO do after
no arrives.-Dallas News.
a great many who try to act the prodi-
gal son find too late that they acted the
calf NATURALIZATION Globe.
Three almost iufalliblc ingredients for
The development of cholera are foreign
Vags, rags, and jags.-Pittsburg Press.
Loves labor lost-A second husband
going on time with his wife's first
husbands insurance money. Cape Cod
Item.
Tho man whose gate is off tho hinges
can talk by the hour explaining why
somebody else doesn't prosper. -Ram's.
Horn.
"He belongs to the smart SET" 81
presume so. He's q fool. Yankee
Blade.
Why not make the cactus the Nationa,
aowera 1t has more fine points than
any yet mentioned. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
In ono respect the north pole is like O.
woman's pocket. Very likely it is there,
but no man could ever find it.-Inland
Printer.
"Why can't marry the duke, papaa
His titles are oil right" Eyes, but his
deeds are all wrong. Philadelphia
Record.
orator-"And now, my friends, one
word more" Reporter Ito boy)-"Bring
me lot more paper, quick. "--Boston
Bulletin.
When you come right down to the
facts IN tho case, it's the loose fitting hat
that shows which way the wind blows.
Texas Siftings.
The deaf mute has this ADVANTAGE.
When ho has no other person to converse
with he can still talk with his fingers
Boston Transcript.
Guest-"What have you put this
magnifying glass on my plate fora"
Waiter--"You ordered reed birds, SIR"
Chicago Inter. Ocean.
Watts-"Have you seen my new dog
yeti" Potts-sNo. What is he; liver.
colored2" Watts-"No. Light-colored.
indianapolis Journal.
Though man fanccs that his wit is
like cutlery, he makes a mistake if he
undertakes to sharpen it by continual
grind. Washington Star.
1t has not yet occurred to the diction>
ary-makers to classify ''phonograph" rs
feminine noun simply because it talks
back.-Philadelph Times.
The office ought to seek the man
Alas! it pays small heed to
This rather brain-satiguing plan,
1t finds it doesn't need to-
Washington STAR
The English sparrow doesn't take
sindly to being turned into the naucA-
ralized American reed bird. He'll die
before he suffers t.-Philadelphia
Times.
There is little moro tantalizing to o
man than to go home with something in
his mind he wants to scold about, and
find company thsre and be obliged to
act agreeably. -Atchison Globe.
Rev. Mr.. Tyke Cat the christening,
fOrHptfi11 nf no Of
is the thirtcenth2' Proud Father
"Good heavensl mol it's only the
eleventh. Kate Fields Washington.
-"Timmins is pretty good
elocationist, is he not2" Vickars-ssYcs.
indeed. Why, he can even make his
own poetry sound as though there was
something IN t."-Indlanapolis Jour.
nal.
Young Lady Tin candy store)-.I
don't like this candy. 1t has begun to
melt already" Confectioner-tNo
wonder, young lady, with those liquid
eyes of yours over it." "Six pounds,
please. Now York Truth.
Visitor -"Is that your little son in
the next room whistling 81 Want to be
Soldier of the Crossf' Fond Mother
tinaAinB lor the ooor)-"Y Yes, he's trying
to drown out the sound of the key in tho
pantry lock. New York Herald.
he (salesman)-"Dear little hand lab.
scnt-mindedly), wonder if it will
WASN'T" She (conspirito) -"No, sir, it
won't-nor it won't scrub either-but
If you want ii to play the piano, it's
yours, George. "-Life's Calendar.
Thomas-"Uncle, I would like to
borrow few hundred dollars to keep
me going while complete my law
studies" Uncle Money bags-"My dear
Thomas, you are modest young man,
and there are two thugs a modest young
should never attempt-one is to borrow
money, and the other is to study law."-
Texas Siftings.
The Brute-t'Doctor, what is tho
meaning of the peculiar formation lust
behind baby's ear2" asked fond
mother. 'Combativepess, perhaps,
madam ranlie1 tho 6ootor tturL