davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
The TyDcvriter's Trials,
"Are you Miss Piunkins, the new
xtenopraphero' asked Mr.. Cumrox-

"Are you Miss Piunkins, the new
stenographer?!' asked Mr.. Cumrox.
"Yes, sir"
"Well, put this in 4 letter: Smith &
Co, Wauseoghenoc, Me. Sirs: That
last consignment of yours was all out
of gear. There wasn't nothing in it we
could use. 1t was the all-fredest lot
OF stuff l ever set eyes on" he contin-
ued, growing excited. "Why, ! tell
You, Miss Plunkins, it was positively
goshawful."
1T was moth-eaten, and we had to
disappoint old-timers in our trade just
because these jays didn't come up to
the scratch and do business. What /
want to know is what they're goin' to
do about it," and he paused for breath.
He thought a moment and said: Got
all that?"
yves" ,eplied the young woman.
rather doubtfully.
"Well, fix it mp and put: Yours re-
specify lly' after it and let me see it"
And yet people seem surprised when
stenographers lose their minds
'ugtou Post
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
NOTIONS ABOUT LUCK.
Burning Shoes to Bring Good Fortune
Hoodoos Removed to Order.

Burning Shoes to Bring Good Fortune
Hoodoos Removed to Order.
A horrible smell that came in at thu
library window made the visitor sniff.
Goodness me-" exclaimed her host
ess, disgustedly. There is Susan burn.
ing shoes again!"
burning shoes? What does she do
that for?'
"She does it for luck, she says, and l
have tried in vain to break her of the
habit. All of the superstitions of her an
cestors she seems to have faith in. She
insists that to burn old shoes brings
good fortune, and so l am afflicted
with this kind of nuisance about onco
a week"
How very funny y"
"You may well say so. l had 4 most
absurd conversation with Susan yes
terday on the subject of hoodoos. She
told me that on one occasion not long
ago she was taken quite sick, and a
professional wise man whom she
called in told her that she was be.
witched by a certain woman in the
neighborhood. This woman, he de.
clared, had succeeded in getting hold
of a part of Susan's spirit and had put
it in a bottle, which was thrown into
the fire. The only thing to do under
the circumstances was to procure some
of the ashes from the fire, which were
to be found in a heap. in the woman's
yard. So Susan did as she was bid
got the ashes by stealth, gave them to
the wise man and paid him to remove
the spell from her and put it or the en-
envy. lie did so, and, as Susan told
me, the person who bewitched her
hasn't had a well day since"
"Ridiculous."
Poor Susan had to pay the wise man
twenty dollars for removing that hoo
doc. and she never feels any confidence
that she will not at any time be as
sailed by the mysterious influences
which may be invoked against her by
ill-disposed persons. AS well as l can
find out, such wise men and wise wom-
en- make their living in Washington by
going about among the most ignorant
of the colored people and informing
them that they are victims of magic
and spells, which a be counteracted
and removed for a money considera-
ton. During the talk Ihad with Susan
yesterday she discoursed at great length
on the subject of luck, opposing what
she regarded as practical experience to
incredulous theories"
What did she speak of in particu.
lar?"
"Well, her talk was chiefly of what
she called sharp luck She told me
that the best way to fetch it was to
take two pins, two nails and two
needles and stick them in the ground
the needles with their points up and
the nails and pins with their points
down. Next, | must name the two
needles after myself and the friend OF
whom I was most fond, at the same
time naming the pins and nails after
four of my enemies. This process was
sure to bring good fortune to my friend
and myself, and very bad luck indeed
to the foes represented by the pins and
nails. "-Washington Star.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

They also had their effect upon the
unwilling listener in the next room
whose life seemed opening out into
longer vistas than ever before.
The gifts TO the other families were
of a similar character to those for
George. but I was careful to have them
delivered after my departure. 1 could
not endure another such pain.
When I came to say good-by they all
hoped I would come again o
You might as well spend your
money tr: Yelling as any other way,
Aunt Malviny."
The heat was intense during the en-.
tire journey. Nothing like it had oc-
Cured earlier in the season. In Chica-
go l bought a daily paper, and in glanc-
ing over the headings this fastened my
attention:
Fierce prairie fires do great damage
in Iowa. Village of C nearly wiped
out by the flames. Many farmhouses.
much hay and grain destroyed and
even cattle and horses perish before
they can be driven to L. place of safety.
The high winds make it impossible for
the inhabitants to do more than to save
their own lives"
My home was in ashes, with every
thing it contained. Indeed, my only
place of refuge was JAMES humble
home. which was a little outside the
track of the fire. My farms were
swept clear of everything, buildings,
cattle, crops.
The little money which I had loaned
was to the farmers in the vicinity, who
had lost all their land. 1 cancelled the
notes and delivered them TO the makers
This much could do. My land when
sold would bring me enough to enter
an old ladies' home, leaving a small
surplus with which to furnish neces-
sary clothing.
And so here l am. There are some
painful thoughts connected with these
losses, but l am not sorry they have oc-
CURED. | am almost glad. At least I
can think that my money" shall no
longer be a trouble or a grief to my
kindred, neither shall it encourage
laziness or extravaganza. / wonder if
Whatever is is right" Emma
Thresher, in Western Rural.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
A MISTAKEN SERVICE.
The Young LADY Typewriter Whom h
Engaged UnAviodably Lost Her job.

d Young LADY Typewriter Whom He
Engaged Unaviodably Lost Her job.
"Oh, yes, frequently" said a young
lady who has had considerable expo
rience as a st~enographer, in reply to the
clubman's question as to whether her
employers ever dictated their family
letters to her.
Now, there is Mr.. Jones. While his
wife was down east he always dictated
the letters he sent to her daily Or else
had me write them 1t got to be quite
the usual occurrence for him to say
after business matters had been at
tended to:
"Well, l guess, Miss Brown, you may
write to my wife. You know about
what to say.
5 | would proceed and write a let
ter in his usual cordial tone, telling her
that the baby was doing well and the
boys were getting along finely with
Mary, the house-servant
Sometimes, when I was feeling quite
in the humor, / would get off long let
tiers of several hundred words each.
Mr.. Jones would look over the page and
Jot Gown MS name at the emo. wouio
address the envelope on the machine,
seal IL ano SEND the message on MS way
70 the absent WIFE.
But there came an end to all that.
That wife must have become tired of
receiving typewriter missives. l sup
pose they do eem rather cold, and per-
baps then. she did not like the ides Of
having a third party aware of the con-
tents of her husbands private CORE
s~pondence.
'One day Mr.. Jones did not come
down TO n office. supposed he had
oeen out with the boys the nlgnt pe-
lore. Along In the afternoon his broth
er came over to my les and said:
Perhaps we had better get on q let
ter TO Mrs Jones, rs otherwise she
might THINK something lac happened
." 1 wrote out a letter In the nsual
manner and signed it with b rubber
FAC simiie OF MIR. Jones signature.
''The letter was posted and Thought
no more OF it for several days MIR.
Jones did not come down to the office
that day or the next, and the third day
there was an explosion.
1t seems that the reason he did not
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

Some interesting facts as to the re-
ligions of British India are developed
by the recent census returns. Out Of
the total population of $4,000, 900
''Hindooism" claims 207, oOo. 900, but
this is a loose term, meaning. it has
been said, amy religion which is not
Mohammedan." Nature worship is
very common among the ruder tribes.
Islam figures with $1,000, 900, Budd-
hism with 1000. 600 and Christianity
with only 2,250,OOo. The are 11,1sO
Jews, and the Parsees amour in all to
SO. sS7. The Theists, Agnostics and the
like are only $50 all told. Brahmos, or
professors of reformed Hindooism,
count only 1901. while the newly
founded sect of Aryans is represented
by about 10000 adhercnts.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
CATCHING A PRAIRIE WOLF.
A Youug Man Made u Peculiar Bet, aad
Won II, Too.

A Youug Man Made u Peculiar Bet, aad
Won II, Too.
One cold, windy day n party of lively
young fellows driving across the prairie
saw a prairie wolf making n meal from
a dead horse. Bill Burns offered to bet
ten to five he could catch the wolf and
the bet was taken. Bell directed the
driver to get as close as possible under
cover of Il low ridge some three hundred
yards from the wolf. With the wagon
concealed by the ridge and the wind in
his favor, Burns began to crawl through
the knee-high dead grass, which was
nearly the color of his canvas coat and
old felt hat. The horse Law with it's
back toward Burns aud as it was frozen
the wolf was eating from the inside
of the carcass, going almost his whole
length into a hole eaten in the horses
abdomen. He would go in and snatch
n mouthful or two, then quickly back
out and look around. II was evident
that he considered eternal vigilance
the price of liberty" Each time the
wolf went in Burns crawled rapidly
toward it, lying fat in the grass when
ever the wolf came out. In half an
hour he had got within n few feet of
the wolf, and, watching for a favorable
moment, rose to his feet, jumped over
the horse, and caught the wolf BIZ the
hind legs. To the spectators it did not
look as though Burns In | more than
touched the wolf when it was rod
away, and went off with such a grand
burst of speed that n of the boys de-
clarcd he coald hear it whizz long after
it was out of sight. Although Burns
held the wolf but an instant he was
severely bitten on both arms and on
one leg. His opponent claimed the
stakes because Burns did not hold the
wolf, but Burns said he did not agree
to hold it, but to catch it; that he did
not intend to hold it long enough for
it to bite him. but found he could not
let go quick enough. The bet was de-
cided in Burns favor. Forest and
Stream.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
CURRENT MODES.
Present Styles and Designs In the Dress
Line.

Present Styles and DesIgns In the Dress
Line.
The proper caper for adjusting ribbon
belts is to fasten them on the left side
with stiff, outstanding bows When a
buckle is used it is placed diagonally.
Two cockades or choux of satin an.
tique, of crepe lisse or of cog feathers
stripped from the quill are attached to
q long pin of tortoise shell and used to
ornament the hair.
Advices from Paris declare that it il
confidently expected that white stock.
ings will be the vogue this winter, and
that they are being manufactured to
meet the expected demand.
Black bareges figured in white is
much used for elegant house and street
gowns. 1t is usually mounted I'VE col.
oIed silks and is trimmed with colored
ribbons and white guipure lace.
The Paris correspondent Of the Lon
don Queen says: The train has been
found really absurd for the street, and
is to be reserved for home or evening
wear, which is decidedly q rational
move.
A stylish man tie for driving or walk
ing is a series of four scant capes, each
bo-dered with black colorel lace with
straight edges like those of insertion.
A ruche of the lace trims the neck full
and high.
The old solferiuos and magentas,
shades which have not been seen for
many years, are on ce more to the fore
under the name of 'dahlia shades" and
promise to be popu lar during the COM
ing season.
Collars are low and of the turn-down
variety. An arrangement of lace, chif-
fon or embroidered silk muslin, like a
priests rabot, appears on many of the
handsomest recently imported gowns.
The tartan plaids which promise to
be SO popular during the coming fall
and winter, will be trimmed with mar
row bias frills, with bias pipings, deep
reverse hens of the goods, black velvet
ribbon or black gimp in rows
1t is said by those who are in a posi-
ton to know that the style of the first
empire will prevail during the coming
fall and winter. The materials are now
being prepared and dressmakers and
milliners are looking mp the albums and
collections of engravings of the time of
Napoleon l.
Those who for any reason want some
thing different from the plain bell skirt
may adopt paniers; may fiouncc their
skirts from waist to hem; adopt the new
double skirt or frill and jabot on the
front and sides of their skirts and still
be sure that their gowns are strictly au
fait, for all these styles are being pro-
duced by the best dressmakcrs.
The continued success of the Eton,
Harrow, zouave and Russian jacket, the
corseiet, guimpe and blouse waist isdue
to the fact that it is ever n vexed prob
lem, even for women who dress extrav-
agantly, as to what to do with skirts
that are still fresh. while the bodices
that belong with them can no longer
be used. Most of the new fancy jackets
for fall are of velvet and are chic, mex
pensive and invariably becoming.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

Syrup"

William Mcclellan, Druggist at
Bloomingdale, Mich. "Ihave had
the Asthma badly ever since came
out of the army and though I have
been in the drug business for fifteen
years, and have tried nearly every
thing on the market, nothing has
given me the slightest relief until a
few months ago, when 1 used b.
schee's German Syrup. I am now
glad to acknowledge the great good
it has done me. lam greatly reliev-
ed during the day and at nightgot to
sleep without the least trouble" O
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

with the flags of Spain and the United
States suspended above it, and it may
be added that a triumph of electricity
has been attained to such an extent
that the flags appear to a during
the Examinations.
An immense number of special at
fractions are announced. The T. p. A.
celebration will be on Saturday, Octo-
Der 1, on which day the Yelled Prophet
will arrive by boat on the Mississippi
river, and the great Yelled Prophets
parade and ball will take place on
Tuesday, October 4. The annual St
Louis fair, too popular and well-known
to need description, opens October 8 and
closes October 5. with two grand illu-
limitations during the week.
IF you do not want your feelings hurt
keep them out Of the way.-Galveston
Na.yS
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

A housewife whose table linen always
does her good service mends it with fax
embroidery cotton OF a number to cor
respond with the quality of the cloth.
Under the ragged edges of the tear she
bastes a piece of stiff paper and makes
a network of the stitches back and
forth ove its edges, carrying the
stitches about an inch beyond the edges
of the cut. Thin places and breaks in
linen may be run with the flax. or en-
broidery floss, and towels should be
mended in the same way.-Daughters
of America.
"A Paris physician is authority for the
statement that forty people are annual
ly prepared for burial while still alive.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
THE School for Female Prot

The School for Female Profess
%sions," org anized in Rome by Queen
Margherita. gives instruction in Italian
and French bookkeeping, needlework,
dressmaking. lacemaking, church deco
rativc n~eedlework, mending, nursing
and cooking. Every year sums of
money are pre- ented to the best pupils
by the queen, intended to be applied to
the purchase of a sewing-machine, or
whatever is needed fer advancement in
the special branch embraced by the
student.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
Mrs. Buffalo Bill is an am iab

Mrs. "Buffalo Bill Is an am liable
domestic woman, very popular in the
neighborhood of North Platte, where
she lives. Her home, Scouts Rest, is a
long, low building, four miles from the
town. large and roomy, quite like a
hotel. and it is surrounded by three
thousand acres of prairie land, mag.
niicent stables and fine pasture lands,
where are kept many thousands Of f6s
blooded horses and cattle.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

OF the plants used in manufacturing the
pleasant remedy, Syrup of Figs, has a
permanently beneficial effect on the human
system, while the cheap vegetable extracts
and mineral solutions, usually sold as medi-
cines, are permanently fnlurioua Being
well-informed, you will use the true remedy
only. Manufactured by the California Big
Syrup Co.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

THE MAKERS of DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy say "If we can't cure your
Catarrh no matter what your case is,
we'll pay you $500 in cash." Now you
can see what is said Of other remedies,
and decide which is most likely to cure
you. Costs only so cents.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

The dinncr bell, of course. Not q particu-
larry welcome sound to the dyspepti,. But
il tic stomach be put in working order, and
appetite insured with Hosietter's Stomach
Biiters, we welcome the ting-a-ling-aling
that announces a meal with delight. The
Bii'ers not only promotes digestion, but
ovcrCOncs mallriIl and liver complaints,
constipation nervousuess, rheumatism
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01


Is bad enough, with the ordi-
nary pill. But the having it
down is worse. And, after
all the disturbance, there's
only a little temporary good
From beginning to end, DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are
better. They're the smallest
and easiest to take - tiny,
sugar coated granules that
any child is ready for. Then
they do their wsrk so easily
and so naturally that it lasts.
They absolutely and perman-
entity cure Constipation, In
J~;-,-<,o, Rilious AttackS
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

It is of a beautiful golden color. has an
elegant Hon favor. 1.-THE A. T. c.. Bohe-
milan Bottled Beer of st Louis.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

ALBERT BURcH, West Toledo. Ohio, says:
Halls Catarrh Cure saved my ife." Write
him for particulars. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

Sick and Bilious Headaches, and all derange-
ments Of tho liver, stomach and bowels.
They're guaranteed to give satisfaction, or
your money is returned
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

For Indigestion, constipation, sick head
ache, weak stomach, disordered liver-take
Beecham's Pills. For sale by all druggists,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

No WONDER the weather is so warm,
everybody talks % tiL-Arkansas Thomas
Cat
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

A SECOND street upholsterer advertises
that his best mattresses may be fairly des-
cribed US spring poems."-Philadelphia
Record.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

A Dull knife will make even q fillet seem
tough, but Il sharp one mnkrs \ pounded
steak seem n tcndcr.oin -Ram's Horn.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

A A who mixes his drinks generally
mixes his speech in the same way.-Bing-
hamton Republican.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

DoS'r Neglect a Cough. Take some Hale's
Honey OF Horehound and Tar instdnter.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

SOBER reflections are liable to be accom-,
panied by great thirst n a hat two sizes
too small. -Binghamton Republican.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

A HOTEL charge is n "force bilr' il the
landlord has possession OF your baggage
BiHglamton Republican.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

An argument results from the collision Of
two trains of thought-W ashington Star.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
THE GETTING IT DOWN

THE shoemaker is a man who frequently
gets ''beaten out of his boots"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01
ElY'S
CREAM BALM

I tcds surprised
after using Ey's
Cram Balm tvo
months 10 find the
right nostrH, trh'ch
rds eloScd for 20
pars, iras open aud
free as the otaer. 1
feel reryh dnkfM.-
r. S. C~ressenghdm.
G5 18Th Street,
Brook vn-
A particle Is apple
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1892-10-01

BEFORE .cavlng i wanted TO make a
few gifts-something that should be a
reminder of their western auutie, and
also in such a shape that they should
not be the poorer for the entertain
men they had given me.
Georges wife had one black dress-her
best one-but it had been made over so
many times that I was not puzzled to
know what she should have for her
gift. A black cashmere of best quail
ity with Innings and trimmings and a
greenback to pay the dressmaker.
Simple gifts for the other members of
the family made a good sized parcel
which l opened and presented with a
happy heart. They all thanked me
politely but there was a constraint in
their which showed me very
quickly that / had made a mistake.
When all had retired for the night
George and Maria talked the matter
over and my acute hearing proved
again a misfortune when the words be-
gan to reach me.
II did want q black silk dress"
sobbed Maria, land l thought when she
was so rich she would surely get it for
me. The girls both cried themselves
to sleep because they've wanted gold
watches SO long and they thought sure
Aunt Maiviny would get them some.
And Johnuy's ms dder'n a wet hen
about that necktie."
George. poor man, like most men
could not stand the tears, so he COM
forted her in this wise:
"Never mind. Maria, Aunt Malviny
don't look as though she could stand it
long. You and the girls can have your
silk dress and your watches bimeby.
Just stop crying and go TO sleep now"
George comforting words had their
effect upon Mara. Iustead of going to
sleep she was soAp discussing the plan |
for an enlarge ent of her house which
was TO be furnished with . Brussels
carpet and = piano :