The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1892-04-28
All Sorts of Paragraphs

vaults. I
- If every man Was as big as8S feaii
there wouldn't be standing room in this
country.
II Mrs. Jaysmith (proudlI): My hus.a5'
band is worth $4,000. Mrs. Gaygoyle:5
I wouldn't take hundred millions for
mine.
He: Don't you think women ought,
to have the right to propose? She's
And give the men the right of refusing q
No, indeed The ideal 3
y We truly believe De Wits Littles
Early Risers to he the most natural, most
effective, most prompt and economical
pill for billiousness, indigestion and ins
active liver.-Wilhite & Wilhite.
"A law has been passed in Waleck,
Germany, forbidding the granting of
marriage license to person addicted to
the liquor habit.
= It is computed that there are nearly
a thousand women in Iowa who own
farms and give them their personal at
ton. Only eighteen of these farms are,
mortgaged.
- Mrs. l.. r. Patton, Rockford, II
writes: "From personal experience car
recommend De Wits Sarsaparilla, cure
for impure blood and general debility
Wilhite & Wilhite.
"A preacher asked college presi-aa
dent what he thought of his sermon.
~ heard in it what meyer hope to. hear
again." "What WAS that?" "The clock2
strike twice."
-"This town seems to be making rapid
progress" said visitor to a resident Of
Boomville, Okla. "You are just righB
stranger. Why, we've had to enlaIsb
the Jail twice."
- Bright people are the quickest to Ia.
cognize good thing and buy it. We s6iis
lots of bright people the Little Early Ri
sers. II you are not bright these pills will
make you so.-Wilhite & White.
- The wheat market was wild in
Chicago for several days. A new specu.7
lator by the name of Partridge is said to-
have made s500,0OO in one day. HsI
Was on the bear side aud held wheat
down. -7~7s
= -Mama: Did you thank MIR. NicefelsI
low when he gave you that silver dollarIl
Little Boy: Yes'm-that is, sorter. Ma:s
ma: What did you say2 Little Boys
I to!e him mex time he kissed Siass
wouldn't tell. -
- "Late to bed and early to rise will,
shorten the road to your home in tho
SKIES" But early to bed and a a"Littld
Early Riser," the pill that makes lfas
longer and better and wiser.-Wilhite 6h
Wilhite. "
- The great high bridge of the South9l
ern Pacific Railroad is said to be the
third highest bridge in the world, and "a
by several feet, the highest in this 70
try 1t is 2,18O feet in length, ans9 s
feet above the surface of the streau ~
"A farmer posted on q fencs (
following Nottis-Know kcwS &
aloud in these medders, eny man or ~
men letten tbare kows run the rode It
gifts into my medders aforesed shal allAs,ee
his tail cut off by me, Obadiah Rogers
- 1t is fixed and immutable law that
to have good, sound health one must hsye
pure, rich and abundant blood. Thereiss I
no shorter nor surer route than -byaas
course Of De Wits Sarsaparilla.-WilhitX
e. Wilhite. e.
A man got tipsy and INDUCED in s.
nights sleep in country graveyard. ON
opening his eyes in the morning he>-no-A
ticed the motto on a gravestone: "Hes
is not dead, but sleepeth." when I am
dead" he remarked, with great delibera-ss
tiou, "I'll own up, and have no such
statement as that above my carcass"
On every horse will be found, on
the inside Of each foreleg, dry, gray.
wart about the size of silver dollar,
apparently of no possible use. When.
the weary, overtaxed animal, sweating
at every pore and covered with foam,s
can reach down and rub with his wet
nose, this always dry, hard substance, he
is instantly refreshed with an odor like
geranium.
- If dull, spiritless and stupid if your
blood is thick and sluggish; if your ap-
petite is capricious and uncertain, you
need Sarsaparilla. For best results take
De Witt's.-Wilhite and white. -
- The meanest man on record lives
in Union County, Ga. He sold his aon-
in law one half of COW, and then he
refused to divide the milk, maintaining
that be sold only the front half. The
son.in law was also required to provide,
the feed the COW consumed, and COMPEL.
ed to carry water to her three times
day. Recently the COW hooked the old
man, and now be is suing for damages.
- Early Risers, Early Risers, Early
Risers, the famous little pills for consti-
patton, sick headache, dyspepsia and ner-
vousness.-Wilhite & Wilnite.
- The Atlanta Consultation says: The
champion eater in Georgia is in Fort
Gaines, and Bill Connolly, colored, is
the man. At one sitting he accomplish.
ed the following: In 2! minutes he ate
six dry soda crackers, one pound onion
in one minute, box of ssrdines in three
quarters of a minute, six more crackers
in three minutes, and wound up on a
half pint of apple vinegar, which he
said was mighty funny whiskey.
At a political meeting in Kansas
City the other day. says the Times, ex.
Governor Crittenden told a story of an
old tavern keeper whose fond theory it
was that every l 900 years came the exact
repetition OF events that had occurred
on the same date 1000 years before.
Two graceless scamps, filled with the
hosts good cheer, sought to weaken his
dependence on his theory by saying that
they would pay their bill on that day
1000 years. mo, you DON'T" he said,
"you're the same fellows that were here