The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1892-09-21
SHALL HUSBANDS obey?
If Wives Insist on Managing
Them, Men Will Have
10 Become Meek
and DoCile.
WOMEES HOME RESPONSIBILITIES.
They Should Not Neglect the Ac.
cOmplishments Which Made
Them Attractive Before
Marriage.
WOMEE'S HOME RESPONSIBILITIES

Ol4S 0Alct - - %EO
vice to wonen on how to manage
| their husbands. Most of this advice
is as absurd as it is of frequent occur
renee. Young brides are warned
against showing too plainly their I'M
| selfish love for their husbands, are adj
vised not to wait upon them in the be-
ginning, until for most loving women
the prospect ahead would seem any
| thing but pleasant. Men are, perhaps
unconsciouslv, described as naturally
selfish; they cannot help it, and a
woman is warned to guard against
this monster from the beginning, to
manage" him.
The simple idea of managing" a
husband is one against which every
womanly woman would naturally re-
volt. A man who would let himself
be managed-in the true sense of the
words unworthy a woman's respect
and affection. If such were to be the
ideal man il would seem appropriate
to have inserted in his part of the
marriage service the "obeyn which is
objected to nowadays on the part of
the bride. If he is to be managed, he
must be taught to obey first. for that
is now Petruchio tanned the naughty
katherine. A pretty pass we are
coming to, with our women forming
clubs and discussing the management
of husbands. In their efforts to at
tain the impossible, these women are
neglecting their actual blessings, their
golden opportunities, their homes.
These they are fully capable of man
aging, and did they do this work
well, there would be no question of
how to manage husbands. If some
worthy wives would take the beam
out of their W eyes, they might,
perhaps, see more clearly their hus-
bands good points.
THE woMAN'S PART.
Undoubtedly much OF the disap-
| pointment in married life is due to
| the wife. IL would be we'll for young
brides starting out with hopes and
ideals to remember that life is very
much as we make it. A woman makes
a mistake when she loses her sweet
heart and admirer in her husband,
and this she often does unconsciously.
LII tlO uIoU pldCO a WOl41fbil StlOuiG
never feel so certain of her husbands
admiration a. to think she can afford
to neglect to always dress well for
him. She might say to herself as an
Q Reuse, that he never praises her
when she does appear well, that he
never seems to notice. Men notice
more than women think, and as soon
as a woman neglects her own dainty
attire, it is more than likely that her
husband will compare her unfavor-
ably with other
SHE SHOULD ADVANCE.
So too, a woman should not fail to
clothe her mind with the best. If
men found entertainment at home,
there would be less need for cosy
homelike clubs. Women should CLEAN
the best which the daily papers offer
and read good books.
Many a man has been attracted first
toward a woman because he found
her a congenial companion. Prob
ably, in asking her to marry him, he
looked forward to pleasant intellect
ual evenings with her, when she
would drive away business cares with
her music and singing. Dreams, the
cynical might say. Yes, but most
men dream. The other day I visited
a wife of two years. who had, before
her marriage, been an excellent plan
ist. While we were seated i'll the par
Tor, one of the guests asked her to
play. Her husband, after hearing her
decline, remarked that the piano had
not been opened in six months. He
was passionately fond of music, and
had ''dreamt" of enjoying it with her.
Upon their marriage he had bought
her a beautifulnew instrument, whose
chief purpose now is to ornament the
parlor, although the mistress of the
home could have ample time to satisfy
her husbands desire if she cared to.
That same evening he spoke of join
ing a mems chorus, as he enjoyed
music SO much, but his wife emon-
strated very warmly with a friend who
urged him to join, protesting that she
would be left alone one evening in the
week,
The secret of keeping a husbands
admiration and attention lies also in
letting him feel at home in his home.
Ii he smokes, do not try to lay down
cast iron rules as to when and where
it is to be done. | know of a women
who hated smoking, who used to let
her boys follow their fathers example.
and smoke unlnolested at home, and
as a result they loved to stay there,
and spent much of their time with
her. They were allowed to offer the
hospitality of their home to their
friends andi as a result, that mothers
unselfishness made. many a life
brighter. s2E4
AS a last word, Iswould urge women
for their own sakes as well as for their,
Husbands to try to- put away house-t
hold cares ~duringvthe evening hours
Most sensible men, when they close
their desks az dusk, lock therein the
trials and disappointnents 0 fthe day.
They have had their share. Is it not
then a pity that they should have to
face the petty household trials which
they cannot remedy? 1 know of a
household which has a cast iron rule
that petty business and household
cares should never be discussed dur
ing the evening hours. 1t seems to