The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1892-03-09


S)-Yes, it's the husband of a'widow
This a dwarf Why, he's over fvr
feet tall " That's Just the point. III
is the tallest dwarf in the world.
A Southern Sympathizer: BUr. s.
| start South tomorrow, Miss Lucy, /,
be gone six months. Have you moth
ing to say to me? MISS Lucy-Well
| can say from the heart that my sym
pathies are entirely with the South.
None But Angels Need Apply: In
Poughkeepsie the girls have resolved
not to receive attentions from any men
except those who are honest, intelligent
industrious, ,good-natured, neat, healthy,
sober, pious, and total abstainers from
lquor, tobacco and profanity.
DR.. Talmage is a great preacher and
a good shepherd. But wherever he
goes we hear sounding brass, and in all
he says we hear tinkling cymbals.-
Memphis Avalanche.
A Scotch school-boy, whose grand
mother was preparing his noon lunch
con, asked earnestly, "Granny, does
your specs magnify ?" "0h, yes, a wee
bit" said the old lady. "Ah. weel,"
continued the lad, Il wad jist like ye
to tax them aft when ye're cutting my
slice o the bread"
Strategy: Young Mr.. Bankstock
(cautiously)-Darling, what would you
say if | should ask you to be my
wife? Miss Sagely (eyen more eau
tiously)-Ask me and find out.
Bobby's Too Robust Faith: Nam
ma Ito Bobby, who is looking despond-
emily out of the window)-Are you sor-
ry it is raining, Bobby? Last night
you prayed for rain so that you could
float your toy-boat to-day. Bobby
Vas, but ! didn't want it to ram all
day. had too blamed much faith.
Hard on the Eyes: Mrs. Jaggs (sus-
piclously)-IIow nlfamed and watery
your eyes are, sir. Mr.. Jaggs with an
injured air)-Well, next time you pre-
sent me with a bible, don't select one
with such fine print.
Italian Prince (haughhly)-If ! be-
come your husband, Miss Bullion, /
shall insist on an allowance suitable to
my rank and social standing. Ameri-
can IIeiress-I will allow you, my good
prince, enough for your club dues, canes,
cigarettes, and clothing. Prince grind |
ing his teeth)-Ill take it.
Mrs. Benson, a very lean lady, had
ordered a brace Of fowls for a special
dinner, and went to the kitchen 10 IN
spect them. "They are poor looking
things" she sald discontentedly. "Oh,
num-" exclaimed the cook, "whin |
fixes thin up wild thruffles, they will be
different intoirely. Just like whin We
puts on your diamonds, num-"
Johnny's Revenge: Little Johnny,
for some small misdemeanor, was BAN
Ished from the parlor in disgrace. lie
the punishment in anything
but a penitent spirit, and as he mount
"a the stairs to the nursery he shouted
N his childish treble: "Lord, don't
geu bless anybody in this house to-
night but mew
The Choir's Remarkable Perform
lnce Miss Raby, who lived near
,hurch, was sitting at a window one !
Sunday evening listening to the crIck-
It's chirping. The music of the choir
i the same time was very distinct. A
who had just dropped IN,
emarked: "How loudly they sing to-
light" meaning the choir. "Yes, re- J
lied the lady, who thought he referred
o the crickets, "and it is said they do
with their hind legs"
Who can tell? The frost which
ears the crops, the hail which breaks
hem, the deluge which beats them
own, are all perhaps necessary, and +
o it may be that blood and tears are
qually essential to the worlds prog
ess What does our unhappiness
Weigh in the great system Of the stars
nd the sun? We only gain our bread
y dint of q terrible daily struggle. =
he soil alone remains fixed and imper-
shable, the mother from whom we all
pring, and to whom we must all re-
nrn; she whom her children love SO r
eenIy that they sin for her sake; she
Tho utilizes everything, even our
rimes and our wretchedness, for pur-
oses OF creation, in view Of attaining \
er own secret mysterious ends.-Zola.
Borus Don't you think it is wrong
n people TO marry their intellectual u
lferiors ? Mrs. Borus (pointedly)-
es always wrong, and in some cases
ute impossible. "
One reason. why some people are not
, wicked as others IS because they
ayen't had so good chance. u
A Scapegoat: "What is the matter
.arest - my d-doIl-baby got
way from me and bWoked plate out
the pantwy." r.
"Ah,' said Chappie jokingly to Miss
eene, "this is leap year. Do you in
nd 30 avail yourselfof its priviIeges?" S.
really cannot tell what | might DO"
e sand with SIN le, ''ifa man should
me along"
An Inquiring Mind: Father-Ey- III