The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1892-02-02
ALL THE WAY FROM PIKE.
Some Good Stories That Are Told on
Prominent Legal Lights Of
Missouri.
Judging Of a Mans Sanity by Ills
Tongue and Els
Pulse.
A Ouastion Of Authority In Which this
Judge Had = Little tho Best
of the Argument. ;

Some years ago 4 wealthy old man named
Parsons died and by will cut off his only
child with Sd, writes a Bowling Green (Mo.)
correspondent of tho st. Louis Republic.
Edward II. Smith, = man of splendid ca
pseity, and myself brought auit to set aside
the will. Hon. Richard N. Norton and
Col. Nat c. Dryden appeared on the other
side. Norton il a rafting good lawyer
and DRYDEN is one of thu most brilliant
ATTORNEYS that ever opened his mouth in q
Nissouii court house. IL wau =
battle royal-no quarter asked or
given. The stake was largo enough
to put us all on our metal. smitn
and l were doing our level best to prove
that Parsons was non compos mentls wheh
he made the Wills In this We sucsssded
altar an awful tussls. Among other Wit
nsssss w nut upon the stand one Gideon
Willis. 4 farmer about go years old, with q
face A solemn rs q Tombstone. but y sort OF
Dsyy Crockett, full of dry Wit a. Artsmus
Ward himself. He swors positively mat
parsons was crazy, or. to use his classic
lineo, ''crazy IS = bsdbng." #
DRYDEN az a cross-examinsr is a terror
.,.5 makes s'rushes'' At witnesses a good
5.a, asser the manner Of John Lawrence
sullivan in the fstio arena. Judging from
..,.ara aces, which are often deceptive, he
1900 4. the conclusion that he had a soft
49, II ciA'eon Willis, and, a. he saw & fat
80 r.uidly .recading in the dim distance,
~ r.sh Il G;a was sven more feroclous
th.r nsnsi. Az 81 q few preliminary ques-
tions not very complimentary to the Wit
ness, he bawlsd:
orazy?" ~ n,,.s .oberl, an
In spdibie smile went yound. which con
siderably annoyed Dryden. 10 q nlsnes
KEY hs shrieked:
q. I sS,m miss al his tongue" was the aston
ishing reply. Dryden was white s1ta rage
and he roarsd: .,
care you a doctor. Mr.. Witness?"
THAT'S my maia holt" responded tlo
in the gravsst and most provoking manner;
The crowd howled with delight, y
above tbs tumult Dryden yelled: "Stano
asidsr' in g tone loud enough to wake the
dead. Ever since Gid has been known as
"Dr," Willis, and though Dryden mas
Joined the church it would be dangerous
performances to inquire of him II Ne can
tell whether = man is CRAZY by teei1ng OF
his pulse and looking at his tongue.
Orr Statute Of Jeofails undertakes 10
cure. and as a matter Of fact does sure.
nearly all tbs mistakes that prosecuting At
sornsys are liable to make through haste
inndysrtarcs or oarslessness in drawing IN
dietmsuts. Among others incorrect ortho-
craphy, or. in every day English. bad spell
ling, is cured. Otherwise q great many IN
Documents would be quashed. The only
qualification in this last instance being
that the word as spelled in the Indictment
ana as spelled in the dictionary must be
idem aonaus-i. e., have the same sound.
Senator Ball has = splendid reputation as
q lawyer, having recently gained the blg.
gest land suit triad in northeast Missouri
attorney of Pike county he had occasion to
use the word "sooks'' in An indictment for
larceny. Being in : great hurry and favos-
able to the phonetic system OF spelling on
general principles, he spslled it 'aox."
Judge Biggs, now on the court Of appeals
Dave, that is not the way to spoil the
inner covering for a mans pedal sxtrsmi-
ties"
Senator Ball replied:
"Biggs, if s-o-1 don't spoil socks, what in
the devil does it spell?''
A question which remains unanswered to
this day.
This reminds me of another case in point.
Col. Rufus E. Anderson. of Hannibal. is
not a Piksr, but he belongs to the whole
state and il = most inoorrigible wag.
OF course, in civil actions all sorts Of
spelling goes, provided sense can be made
out of it. Nevertheless, questions OF
photography do sometimes arise, even in
that branch Of the practice. Judge kedd
who for many years was judge of thu
Marion, Monroe, Shelby and Rails circuit
was considerable of 3 stickler for the ap-
pearanoe as we'll as for the substance o.
things. Once Colonel Rufus Z. Anderson
in some court paper spslled wagon will
two 20. In Judge Rsdd's estimation
bad spelling was close kin to oontsm pt o
court. He dotted on Noah Webster. H
proceeded 10 lecture Rufus soundly ans
reundly ON his delinquency.
But. your Honor" argued Colonel Rufo
with an owlish east of continuance and su
pernstural gravity, this particular vehicl
was 4 two-horse contrivance, and conse
qusntly and of right ought TO be spslles
with two g."
EVERYBODY WAS amused except the judge
but as he hold the whip hand Rufus had t
correct his autobiography.
Justices OF tho poaco were an ancient an
highly necshsary part of our judicial syl
TEN. 1t is impossible to get along withou
them. Some of them comprehend thqi
duties and discharge them diligently, mod
estly and well. Othors have a middle
understanding as to the limitations o
their powers.
Il is related of Theddeus Stevens, th
great of Pennsylvania, thu
when quite q young man he was making
magnificent argument to convince a iustit
Cnat ne ERu no TlPlt TO condemn MS cllel
to be whipped. Tho justice listened pt
tiently to his fiery eloquence. Az Stevsr
finished he heard an awful screaming an
hullaballoo in an adjoining roon az
pricked up his cara to discover the eaus
The justice quietly remarked:
"Oh, never mind that noise. Mr.. Steven
You have made an unanswerable argumen
but they are just finishing the licking
yoOr client
We had Il justice in this county ones wi
gave his jurisdiction uncertain and elast
limits. Once a fellow was before him f
preliminary trial on n charge Of murda
His honor promptly sentenced him to
49, hanged.
But" said the lawyer for the defene
"you can't make any such order as that"
The deuce l can't replied the cou;
81 have already done it"'
And if it had not been for the writ
habess oorpun-the great writ OF liberty
/ guess the prisoner would have be
worked OFF, in due form.
Now Try fhis.
It will cost you nothing and will surely