The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1892-02-04
WIT AND iIUMOR.

pay becomes a faith heeler. -Elnlira
Gdzette.
do you think Withers. ne poet.
will live?" He may-if h, hides"
-Luck.
The devil is always willing aid ia
putting up flue or stovepipe. = Gai-
Uest0R Neios.
A boy is expected to love his mother
even though she cuts his hair.-.Som-
errtlte journal.
a man has attained ripe old age
when he begins to fall off.-NcaJ Or
leans Pcauunc.
The farmer who closely packs his
load of wood is sure to strike the pop
ular chord. -L0ageU Courier.
Ethel-'How did George like your
swansdown boa?' Maude-' He was
tickled with t."-Br0o6iy's Life.
A liquid laugh mav be infectious. but
it is not considered as stimulating as o
liquid smile. - YonkcrS Gazette.
Advice is valuable chiefly when it
makes Il man mad enough to follow
his own ideas. -Binghlnlt0n Republi-
can.
1t is said that bees possess the pow
er of memory. So does any one who
has ever interfercd with them.-Ierds
SytingS.
If you want to get dream out of a
wedding cake put it in your stomach
instead of under your head.-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Excuse me, Mrs. Hashcroft," said
precise boarder. but there is no more
milk in the cream-pitcher. ."-Indian-
ap0lis Journal.
Popular Novelist-'I only know two
women who are absolutely perfect"
Mrs. Lovelace-"Who is the otherp"
Prom he French.
Give ward statesman liberty and
free lunch and he can get along for j
time very well without free speech. -
NeaO Orleans Picayaaae.
Why did Miss Antique leave the
hotel?' She was insulted. Some
body asked her if Noah was pretty
baby. Brooklyn LIFE.
Spatts-''Mr. Searles says Mrs. Hop
kinS proposed to hiW." Bloobumper
Did she do it verbally. or did her
money talk?"-N. Y. SIN.
We do not wish to be severe upon
teamsters as class. but we are forced
To the conclusion that they seldom turn
out well.-B0StON transcript.
Cora-.'You've never been over the
world much. have you, John?" John
No" Cora (vawning) - You
ought TO travel. ~. Y Heraid.
Miriam What do YOU keo that
horrid pet monkey for, May?" May
20, because it amuses mamma when
papa is away."-B0St0n Bud, h.
If you would be an INTEREST," cou-
versationalist lind out what all the peo-
about something else.-B0St0n Tran
script.
Money is trouble" sighed old
Banker. NO it isn't. eitherr' ex-
claimed young Banker. You can
easily borrow trouble" - Buitimore
american.
Some of the Georgia editors are
urging the citizens 10 establish paper
mills. They want Il work off thei
stock OF manuscript poetry.-AAa'ltu
Constitution.
Elhel-''You make ME think of The
pros pectus of new paper. Mr.. Sta
late" Stalatc--'How sop Ethel
You seem to have come TO stay. -
n. T. Hcraid.
There IS only one rule To observe if
YOU want to live long, and that is to
make up your mind tnat the other tel
low shall be the one 10 walk the floor
nights. .-AtchiSon G,0j3.
Did you ever sustain any losses by
iire?' asked the insurance agent. Il
should say SO. replied the recently dis
missed clerk, Just think of my SAL
AIRY. y Washington STIR.
The road agent is unreasonable in
his demands. He expects travellers to
throw up their hands, but he does not
feel called upon to throw down his
arms.-B0stOn Transcript
Mr. Nagnag-''I do wish YOU would
learn To COO: as my mother used 10.
Her bread and pies always had Il per-
feet crust" Mrs. N.-'Yes, and her
children too. Boston Courier.
How habits cling to man." said
Mr.. Suiif. Il hired an old ex-barber
to trim my lawn tie other day. and he
asked me if | would have it shampooed
also. ."-Binghdmt0n Republican.
This is no laundry" said the ed
itor. Laundry" repeated the poet.
That is what | said. And such being
the case why should you bring in your
weak swash? h?'-IadiTlsap0iiS J0urnat.
Has your baseball club sailor in
it?n she asked. No" he answered
Why do YOU ask?" Il thought it
would be good idea to have an old
tar for the pitcher of tie niue. -
Washington STIR.
Poor mani said The sympathetic
young woman. Il suppose YOU are
not equal to Lard work" Eqial to
hard work. responded Mr.. Weary
Walking. Il am superior to it. .'-Ls-
dia5sGpOtiS J0uynU.
Help! Mur:el! Fire. Policeman
-"Hark! Some one must be robbing
that woman Friend How d,a GU
know it's robbery? She is CRYING ev-
erything else "TnaI's j st why
think so. - -B0St0n Mars.
"Sniggins is all wrapped mp in him
self" was the remark that was made
on the absent member of the club. is
he?" was the rejoinder. II ii notice
the next time | see him out Of doors
w npt her hp uSpS one ,BHr pI IDii - -
Washington Star.
Justice Stuffy-"What charge 10
you bring against the prisoner?' o.
ticer OToole-'Ile was stalin' fruit off
a dago wi,lout payin' fur it," Justice
Stutfy-''Prisoner, you are charged
with impersonating an officer; how DO
you plead? ?'-N. J. Hcrdid.
She had risen several times to let a
little man pass out between the ac;s.
Il am very sorry tn disturb you.
madam" he remarked apologctically
l. &