Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1892-09-08
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughable.
Short and Sharp.

MY fathers an Odd Fellow" boast
ed little boy. "My fathers Free
Mason, replied the other, San that's
higher, for the hod fellows wait on
the masons. Insurance Echo.
"WHY did you leave your country
boarding-h house," asked Smithkins
81 couldn't stand the air" returned
Biddleman. Couldn't stand the
air?" Eyes; the air from the land
lady's daughters piano. Baltimore
News.
MERR1T-That's a pretty hard doc
tors bill [ had to pay. De Garry
How was that? Merrit-You see,
it was for injuries received by being
thrown from .lorse | was riding by
the doctors advice.-New York Even
ing Sun.
BUNKER-I thought your son, after
graduating from college, was going
right into business, but | hear now
he is to take a postgraduate course.
Hill-Yes, we thought it necessary.
Bunker - What is he going to
study? Hes going to learn how to
SPELL"
II BEG your pardon" said Miss Con-
ventional, as the fireman came to the
fifth story to rescue her, Il cannot
accept your assistance without an in
PRODUCTION" Come off your perch,
responded the gallant member of the
B. T. D., as he lifted her down from
the window sill, I'm no dude."--
Brooklyn Eagle.
BOSTON girl Ito Uncle James,: "Do
you like living on farm?" Uncle
James: Eyes, / like it very much"
Boston girl: 81 suppose you like it
well enough in the grand summer
time, but to go out in the cold and
snow to gather winter apples and
harvest winter wheatI imagine might
be anything but pleasant. New
Moon.
They were party of Chicagoans
at Parker's. One asked the waiter:
what is q-u-a-h-o-g chowder? Spell
ing the worO. And when all had
learned that the baby quahOgs are
Little Neck clans, one of the Chicago
ans smiling, said, "Well, it sounds
home-like," and another loosely re-
marked: Il thought quahog must be
some form Of pork. Boston Tran
script.
MRS. IsAACs-"How you got your
clothes so full of cOttOn?" Mr.. lsaacs
(brushing himself)-"I vos showing Il
customer dose all WOOL goots. Life.
A RAPID GRowTH.-She-Do you
notice how rapidly the city is grow
ing? He-Yes indeed; I owe twice
as many people as / did year ago.
Brooklyn Life.
D1CKY PRoUDFIT-Huh; can't see
why you never put on your Sunday
clothes! Bobby Poore-But l does.
wears 'em seven days in the week
Puck.
THE law allowing three days grace
on note doesn't apply to musicians,
They must take up the notes at sight
as they come due, or the whole will
20 to protest. -SiftingS.
MIR. SNoozLE 1t appears that in
railroad accidents the first and last
cars are always the ones injured. Mrs.
S.-Why not leave them off the
train?--Harper's Weekly.
NEW BoARDER Gust arriving)-
What is that curious rattling noise?
I hope there are no snakes about
here! Landlords Son-That's the
boarders' teeth you. hear-their
mornin's chill's comm on.-Puck.
HoJACK-Some people have their
wishes fulfilled very promptly. Tom
dik--Are you prepared to specify?
Hojack-Well, know a man in Kan
sas who put up sign reading, "This;
House for SAIL" and the very next day
a cyclone carried it into the next.
county.-Harper's Bazaar.
| CONUNDRUM submitted for the
Posts gold eagle prize: What makes
a coach dog spotted? The spots. -
Boston Post.
"MY hired man has fine labor
saving device. "What is it," "Chills.
| They save him from laboring three
days out of five. "-TIarpeI's Bazaar.
Il HATE to give these clothes away"
| remarked Jagson, as he opened the
widowed chest, "but it is case Of
must. "-Elmira Gazette.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER-Wha
lesson are we to learn from the story
of Jonah and the whale? Pupil-To
stay on dry and.-Judge.
The latest story is really that of
the man who is telling his wife how
it happens he hasn't come home till
o'clock in the morning.
A TOURIST on very hot day was
watching man who, with head un-
covered, was labOriOuslv turning q
windlass which most clumsily hoisted
from a shaft bucket filed with rock.
Said the tourist: "My friend, why
don't you cover up your head? This
hot sun will affect your brain"
Brain, is it," replied the man. If
I had any brains dye think I'd be
here pulling up this blooming buck
otow -Tid-RifS