The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1892-06-19
BY The WAY.
BEING a Rambler'S Observations On Things
in General.
Fleas and Their Eabits-A Flea Circus-Holi-
days aud These Who Get Them-Mod-
crate Drinking
written for THE MORNING CALL

10 Is not absolutely pad TASTE or boellau
manners to mention that torment OF human
life, the Puex irritans, in California polite
society, The lively little animal is not abso-
Iutely welcomed as topic Of conversation,
for, heaven be praised, there are many more
delightful subjects to interest the mind, put
Itsnet absolutely forbidden, as II Is IN the
East, as too indelicdte and impudent
to be thought Of By prim propriety
snd chaste prudeTy. Hence we are
,rife more natural than they are IN the East
and, also, il may be added than in Europe,
for there the flea is also tabOOed allusion-
an Implication Of dirt and SQualoT, and,
therefore, entirely diseputable as an assO-
eiate of human pride and hattant Of fine
raiment, with access 10 phlebotOmizing
pastures. One country in Europe
has the flea quite too prevalent to
be ignored. Spain justly regards its
Affections as theme for coincidence and
sympathy. Stablemen have been recorded
as scooping up a sieveful Of t1eas instead OF
a sieyeful of cats with which TO bait their
horses, but it IS probable the Ieas were
malgn5d ID this gTOlesque figutOI the cEea-
tive mind. But the flea Is numerous ID the
south Of Europe, and also much more
pesty, insdIous creature, the bug Travel
sTs from he south upon arrival IN Paris
are subjected to a search OF baggage at the
hotels ftr 10 other purpose than TO discover
the bugs and f1eas brought with them. Both
bugs and heas are great travellers, thanks to
the locomotive and The steamer Notwlth-
standing the war made against them they
are il no danger Of extinction.
A lady who recently has set her dainty
feet upon the proud soil of California asked
the other day in polite circle whether it
was not the custom 10 carry back-scratchers
to church. IN order to hook cut PuleX
frritans invaders OF the pews. and
50 compose the minds and bodies OF
solemn wOTshipeTs TO TeveTent devotion
and unabstTacted attention. There was
laugh, hearty AID natural, at the nebulOus
dream Of sach a sUppOsitlOn, aud The lady was
assured that thus far the Umnlpresent Tea
is a sUhGuable creature, and, on account OF
the vigilance Of janitOrs and a dislike TO in
eense and organs, Is afraid Of ventuTlUg into
cOnSecrated fanes. 1t is even tlmOTOus
Neutrality-suspicious. into theateTs. its tastes being
low, and not much higher than the class Of
entertainments given IN dives, where tarTy
seamen cons0Tt with beauty represented IN
Drawn Perhaps the lRdys wandering ~
quiTy Was prompted by seeing back
scTatcheTs Familiarity exhibited in the shop
windows Of the htathen-gOOd hOOkers most
Of them, with long stems and four or
five pTOngs. to give assurance Of capture
But as an article of church furniture we
have not yet reached this apOtheOsis Of
bodily comfort Those who are visited by
heas in church sit still and endeayOr to think
about something else celestial CT mundane,
and il is only when they get home that they
sharpen the daggers Of implacable revenge
Unfortunately the flea survives all the
stratagems and insldiOus plots cOntTiYed for
its destruction.
That any one should have the consum-
mate effrOnteTy 10 give an entertainment in
comedy with the dramRtis persona feas is
an impossible thought Ia the cerebral ru-
minatiOn Of a Californian. a tragedy or
nothing he would declare, with q vOlley Of
appeals 10 his fayoTite political saint. But
as this migratory parasite of man Is not
guile so common II EUTOpel II IS occasionally
tTOtted out as al educated creature and sub
lected 10 the menialism Of dragging chaTiOts,
firing cannon and playing soldier with
pliRe which shows mans suOOrdinstng
gifts over the meanest aud QueeTest sDeci-
mems Of the animated kingdom. A Snowman
in Germany made a handsome living Out Of a
sophisticated family Of feas. He gave a
private entertainment at one OF the runner
Gus German courts. and the King. the Queen.
the princes. the pTinCesses and the long
retinue Of officials and hangeTs-0n apprO-
pirate TO the parapbeTnalia OF monarchy
we're spectators. The stage had all been
prepared for the display of intelligence in
tie insect vOltiReurs and the royal audience
was hushed IN respectful expectation.
Suddenly the professor discovered that
the monarch OF his troupe was missing
had gone eff somewhere Oh jag. or for a
demonstrating drink. he was aghast at
the desertion. That flea could not be dis
penSed with. he regulated the movements
Of every other flea, and without him there
could be no entertainment He was the
prem iere danseuse Of the company-pardon
the change OF sex! In the contemplation Of
his loss the flea circus manager WAS over
weighted with grief and CONSERVATION But
suddenly the silver lining appeared to his
cloud. There. on the tchu wrapped round the
neck Of one of the royal pTincesses, he espied
the Grant champion, seduced from duty by
the saDgulne expeci atoms of banquet on
anOinted flesh. The professor-Of course
he was a professor, as every one Is who
has net a dplOma-lit Up his features
with the Joy that beamed over he wrinkles
of ATchimides when he rushed in
nudity into the streets shouting Eureka"
He said he was poor man in the presence
Of royalty. His all depended upon the ex-
tradition OF the insuboTdinate member Of
bis troupe, and would they forgive him if
he, a poor man, with bankruptcy and
degradation In his face. took sum-
mary measures 10 lead the misguided
flea back TO the path Of allegiance.
So the professor, with cleaning eyes,
reached out his finger and thumb and
disentanged the trUant from the folds Of the
hchu, but he had no sooner reached the ia
BILE which was the scene of operations than.
CHANGING at the captive critically, he threw
I'D his hands in despair and exclaimed.
'LeibeT Colt in Himmel, it's & wild Oue!
What the royal family thought Of the dis
closure nobody has ventured to relate.
It is notorious that there are very few
holidays for any persons under the system
of employment in the United States Men
and women are expected to work, eat. sleep
and die. and then they 90 to the grave and
are supposed 10 admire the flowers placed
tbereupon by those who remembered
them, an attention which is By no
means certainty. The lawyers take a
respite from the care Of litigants' affairs
but mainly because the judges do, the latter
having given up briefs for salaries. Clergy
men also manage to chop OF a month
or two Of abstraction from the world
Of sin which surrounds them, and no.
body begTudges a good preacher a needed
recupeTatl0n. he comes back to his pulpit
the fTesher for his task of bestirrng people
to be devotional and moral and exemplary
In the cOmbats Of life Another class does
manage to get holday-the teachers.
They deserve 1t. They almost deserve
double salaries during the weeks they are
at liberty to rest and attuRe their
nerves for renewed endeaYor. But
under the pressure Of hard work it is
almost doubtful whether teachers would
get Auls RiabtAul IcSpilb lIOHl Tie QATdSSlDH
drumming OF teaching were it not that chill
dTen must have a holiday. Education
would go backward we're IL not that holt
days have been ordained for their good
Unhappily, all children are not in a posi-
ton 10 get of to the valleys, tie mountains
or the seashoTe, but those who are obliged
to stay at nome are happier because they
have no tasks of grammar or history or
arithmetic to fret the brain and make
slumber uneasy.
But there is one teaching brotherhood
also sisterhood, almost as important as the
school fraternity, bereft Of holiday unless
az narsnnal eXnense- The mnrnInn nnd