Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1892-12-26

''Jane Eliza" said jeremiah to me a-going
home from the horticultural show, where,
though ! say it that shouldn't, our Bald
wins and our Golden Majesty punkins
showed out superior to all others and
fetched a prize-''Jane Eliza it is time you
spoke up and told the facts in the case
Misrepresentation should not be permitted
by perfessers."
jeremiah my DEAR" says l. s'your words
express the thoughts that air in my mind
I'll up and do it,
We warn speaking of the Baldwins nor
the Golden Majesties, as you may suppose
it was the case between Tobias Starch and
Rosy Wood that was in our minds. How
it may be in New York | do not pertend to
know. [ should suppose folkses' minds
was too we'll occipied in them haunts of vice
and terror with savin themselves from
bein run over or electroated to death by
busted light wires, or bein smashed by new
houses comm down onto 'em as they walked
unconscious by-which is, accordn to the
papers. the reg lar thing thereon account
of builders trying to save in mortar, or
being pickpocketed or sandbagged in the
streets, or murdered by burglars into their
beds, to care enough about scandal to salt
it up twenty years and then fetch it out
again with alterations. hope they don't
do it anyway, but they do in villages like
SOapStone, where everything goes on reg
Mar and even for the most part, and the
majority lives till eighty and dies because
they air tired of hevin TO get up and put
on their shoes and stockings only to take
'em off again at O'Clock and lay down.
Twenty years ago it happened" says
To jeremiah. 1T warn't sensible of Rosy
but she was a gal then. and it was New
Years time"
Now that again may not be under. stand
able by city folkses, but in Soapstone New
Years day is the day for doin all sorts of
queer things; playin all sorts of tricks-a
kind of April FOOLS Day comm on the fust
of January. And anybody that is tricked
at that time IS bound to be forgiving, and
it didn seem to me to be fair for old Mrs.
Perket and Maria Beckworth and Miss
Maberly, all of 'em to speak to strangers of
Rosy Wood as 1.-The person that proposed
to the Rev. Tobias Starch in her younger
days and was rejected Rosy hadn't ever
married. and spinsterhood of thirty-seven
feels such ISLANDERS kinder heavy. An old
lady could laugh it off, but when person
amt neither young or old it's harder for
'em to bear. Mrs. Wood had said she
couldn't stand to see Rosy so cut up. and
there seemed no provn facts, unless l up
and proved 'em, and proved 'em before all
SoapstOne, too, in kind of public way.
at had ought" said jeremiah, ITO be
writ down and read as Il paper. Jane
Eliza, you air talented and hev the pen of
a ready writer; then why not give it in
literary FORM"
jeremiah says /, IT will; you inspire
me. will write it. and will read it at
the minister's donation party eff 1 am
spared. Only, Jeremiah, you must go to
the store and fetch hum II bottle of ink, six
pens and a quire of paper
/ said this in such solemn manner that
Jeremiah repled:
Amen, quite unconscious, instead of
sayin Il WILL" as he orter
Bright and early he got the literary fix
ms, includin wafer, for we had
marked that legal afferdavids always had
waters onto 'em, likewise postage stamps,
and day and night i sat before the succer-
tary into the best parlOr while things
went to rack and ruin. The turkeys ran
away, Jeremiah's stockings got holes into
'em, and Jeremiah's buttons came off and
were not sewed on ag'in. / began my la
bors in the latter end of October. Novem-
Der passed, December came in, and still |
writ, fur what with wishing fur to have a
good style. and hevin considerbul To say,
and remarks of my own TO add, and poetry
to quote, and getting it copied off neat,
and hevin to refer to Webster's Una
bridged continual, the work slow,
and every few days Jeremiah had to buy
me another quire of paper and more ink.
However, il was finished at last, and the
appropriate time for readin 1.-THE New
Years eve donationparty e'en almost
arrove when put my Ms. into Jeremah's
hands and said:
Jeremiah. my work air accomplished.
| return to my proper spear, and never will
| leave it again, for writin one konsize
statement is more labor than housecieann
kept up remitless fur year. Eff this had
not been my duty perfesser [ should
hev fallen by the way. Read it loud, SO
that | shell know how it sounds before |
read it myself / says, sinkin into the
largest rockin chair and foldin my weary
hands.
jeremiah took the passed. and reviewed
it with kinder sublime expression onto
his cOuntenance-
'.Jane Eliza" says he, when l view this
here noble work feel proud of you Your