The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1892-12-20
THE ARIZONA KICKER
A Correction About the Graveyard--Out-
come of the Mule Race.
Copyright, 1892, by Charles B. Lewis.l

uer0Q Gn0 WIDOW Scott, or nos
avenue, for a choice selection of winte
plants for Jul private graveyard, i
which she has always taken a deep il
terest. These plants will live an
flourish all winter in this climate, an
the graveyard will thus be rendere
almost as attractive as in summer
We drove Governor Peck, of Wiscor
sin out to the inclosure the other day
and after counting up the eleven grave
and noting the neat and tidy name
III which everything was kept he de
clared his belief that there was nothins
to compare with it in the known world
While on this subject we may remarE
that we saw an article in a st. Louis
paper the other day giving the number
of graves at twenty-seven. We want
only what Is justly due US. The diff
ference between eleven and twenty.
seven represents the number who
crawled off in the chaparral to die and
were never found. The postmaster of
this town will probably make No. IL
before spring, but as the ground here
does not freeze more than an inch deep
we are in no particular hurry about it.
INTERESTING EvENT.-Last Saturday
afternoon the much talked of male
race between the Lone Free mule Sheet
Lightning and the humble animal
owned by the editor and proprietor Of
the Kicker took place at the track east
of town. Our esteemed contemporary
is out IN a double loaded article crit
and abusing us because we at
tended the race, but we expected that.
The people here understand our posi-
ton exactly. AS editor and,pFoprietor
Of a great family newspaper-price
dollars per year in adTanee-we
obliged to take an Insignificant
cooking mule on an advertising con-
of fourteen dollars. We offered
him for ten dollars cash, bot no one
would buy. We were riding him out
the country on day to Iook for a
pot to bury him when the Clinch
cowboys got after Us. Then
hat mule astonished us by striking a
gait which would have mad9-a COM
non flash Of lightning look sick. AS
he editor and proprietor Of a great
newspaper we could own him
md match him for a race, and also be
present as a spectator, while the fore
nan of wi efice could ride him. In
he affair the other day we were present
as an editor, who is priviledgedto go
anywhere. We were on she grand
stand as the mayor Of this town. AS
The newly elected State Senator from
this district we bet $3.50 on. our mule,
and as a free and enlightened citizen
IF this glorious republic we stood up
and yelled and waved our hat when he
came in four lengths ahead without
wetting q hair. Our narrow minded
and jealous pated contemporary is too
ignorant to define our position and tao
mean to state it if he could,
and we therefore make the above ex
We know the exact amount
Of dignity to an ounce attached to our
proud positions as an editor, mayor
and senator, and no one need fear that
we shall demean ourself in public.
ALMOST A TRAGEDY.-Major Short,
the genial proprietor of the Gem sa-
loon, has been a nearsighted man for
the last fifteen years, but the fact has
been concealed from all but his init
mate friends. This misfortune almost
led to a tragedy Monday afternoon.
While on the street in front of the
postofice the major squirted a mouth
full of tobacco juice at a hitching post,
as he supposed. The post turned out to
be a wild haired teamster named Jim
and Of course he out with his
gun and began blazing away to avenge
the deadly insult. Fortunately for the
crowd he had been temporarily blinded,
and his bullets all went wild. It took
nearly an hour to calm him down, but
he eventually agreed to forget and for
give. The major wishes us to state
the fact Of his misfortune, that other
mistakes of the kind may not occur,
and we do so with pleasure. While
he has a mean way of diluting his
whisky and charging fifteen cents for
a mighty poor cigar, We do not believe
there is anything really low down in
his composition.
AN HONEST CUSTOMER.