Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1892-01-10

where I sit, envroned by everything
that car environ one; compare, / say,
such city with the low, wet, snipe in
tested flats where once the rank thistle
nodded in the wind, and the low, some
what vulgar Indian, on whom there Is
nothing but shell necklace and jag.
We live, indeed, in rapidly growing
age, an age OF wonderful DEVELOPMENT
And this reminds me, though possibly
the reader may not see exactly how, OF
a young man whom met on the cars OF
the Justly celebrated Richmond and
Danvills railroad yesterday. He said
that the practical education OF young
people Of both sexes was subject which
he thought ought TO be looked into.
Last winter be boarded at the same
house with bright young school mis-
tress whose intelligence was out OF all
proportion TO her extreme youth, FOR
she had read and claimed that she could
explain, with the use OF blocks, one OF
Mr.. Browning's earlier poems.
Noticing that the young man OF whom
| have spoken was wearing at the time
a pair OF trousers around the heels OF
which q slight lambrequin seemed to be
forming, she suggested, as they became
better acquainted, that as she had been
taught very thoroughly in all branches
of needlework she would be most happy
10 repair the trousers at any time when
his business was such that he would not
actually need them.
1t is needless to say that with a beat
ing heart he one night reached them
through the sparsely opened door OF his
apartments and left them in her hands,
to deal with "a she might see fit. | hes
itate TO go on with this account, but
now that l have begun 1t | must not
turn back. When he received the pam
ties he found that they had been most
ingeniously mended where they needed
il most, but while the trousers appar-
emily had not suffered in any way, he
found when he came to examine them
that the repairs In the foyer had been
made at the expense OF the seating ca
pacity.
That is why he says he thinks that the
practical education Of women, he fears,
is not always in practical hands.
So many incorrect accounts Of my re-
cent mishap in Mississippi have been
printed that l venture To offer brief
statement of the case at this time by
means of a stenographer. / have al
ways had the same difficulty in convinc-
ing the reading public that l needed
sympathy. Some years ago became
involved In personal difficulty with
cyclone in the northwestern part OF the
State of Wisconsin. / had never said
anything derogatory TO the cyclone, but
in fact had rather spoken Of II in
kindly spirit, and yet on that occasion l
was caught up into the heavens and re-
turned with thanks, not because / was
lacking in merit, but merely because
seemed to be unsuited for the celestial
columns.
Many Of my newspaper friends spoke
lightly and even fiippaLtly OF this pain
ful incident, although one Of my most
attractive legs was broken. One bright
Young writer intimated that ! had prob
ably stepped on peal Of thunder. One
said that l should have looked at my
barometer more carefully: another said
that probably the cork had been lost
out Of 1t, and go on.
In the midst of all this badinage l
lay painfully on my back with patent
extension attached TO my glass leg, and
while the bones were about to unite one
day my costly couch, made 10 resemble
butternut, fell TO the floor, leaving my
foot attached by means OF a pulley and
weight TO the candelabra OF the room.
But to return. AT Yazoo City, which
is in the State Of Mississippi, was ad-
vertised to appear as delineator OF my
own character, and expensive printing
had been posted up all over the town,
so that between twenty and thirty peo-
pie, all Of whom had secured tickets by
allowing our Autographs to hang In
their windows, had gathered together
in the Palace rink, luxurious opera
house belonging to the kerosene oil cir
cult in the shoestring district.
The front of the house is on level
with the ground. The rear Is not. II
cost me $500 to find this out, but / found
out.
The owner of the rink took down the
stairs by which an exit had been gen.
orally made from the rear Of the house.
He had not spoken to me about 1t,
neither had he closed the door so as TO
indicate that no one should pot go down
that way.
So feel like the author Of "Beauti-
full Snow" l alighted on the ruins OF
the stair steps that had been taken
down. do not know what the owner
took the stairs down for. Possibly be
ran out Of kindling wood at home.
However, my arm was broken, ana the
old friendly feeling which. was growing
UP between myself and the south is
somewhat sprained and has large
poultics on It as 1 dictate these well
rounded sentences.
AU.l <m.