The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1892-11-24
A M1sF1T THANKSGIVING
Continued from third page.

| Nearly IL week Qau cldpScU, dlle ueI
sorrow was as heavy if not SO hysteric
as ever, when one day there was an en-
thusiastic ring at the doorbell. There
wasn't servant in the house; she must
either open the door herself or have her
husband do it, or leave it unopened.
She decided to adopt the husband plan.
She wouldn't have opened it herself, for
she was morally certain that she would
be confronted by some heartless m0cker
who would shrek with laughter over
her disastrous dinner, and so she called
her husband. That brave man with a
severe face went to the door and opened
it, and fairly shook with rage and Won
der. What manner of refined insult was
this?
Standing before him, smiling as bland
~ as though they had never grievously
and wantonly wounded him to the quick,
were the men and women he had ill.,
vited to his Thanksgiving dinner! There
was the doctor, fairly bubbliny over
with 1nirth and good humor; and the
sweet singer, with a roll of music under
his arm; and the editor Of The Gazette.
pompous in the knowledge that he, and
he only, was the author of that sublime
article, WHITTIER Are We Drifting?"
and their wives were with them. and the
other men who had been invited were
| there with their wives! 1t was evidently
a conspiracy to humble and crush and
wreck the life of Theophilus Wardwell.
For moment he seemed disposed to
slam the door in their faces, but he
arrested the motion Of his arm. Then it
looked as though he would turn loose
the simoom of his wrath, bat the words
died on his lips, and he ended by invit
ing them all to walk in. smiling sar-
donically, and "every one knew that
some one had blundered." He led the
procession into the parlor and then call
ed his wife, who joined him in maze
of bewildernent. And when the guests
We're all seated, equally stupefied with
wonder, Mr.. Wardwell faced them and
said, with magnificent sarcasm:
''Ah! And so YOU have come in re-
Spouse to my invitation: | regret to say
| that YOU have come too late to partake
of my turkey or pie. bat you have come
in time to teach me a valuable lesson.
After this, when | want my friends to
call Oh me on New Years, III ask them
to come on Christmas; if desire to see
them on the Fourth of July, III ask
! them to visit me on Easter Sunday. and
when want gathering on Thanksgiy-
ing day I'll specify George Washing
! tons birthday as the date for the assem-
blage.
This is Thursday, ladies and gentle
men. Well. last Friday Mrs. Wardwell
prepared for YOU all. and we waited and
waited for your coming until our hearts
ached with disappointment, but we
should have been patient, see; we were
altogether too hasty. If we bad only
waited six days longer, you would have
been with us. A trifle like six days
would have caused us no Inconvenience
whatever, but we We're so thoughtless.
Mr.. Wardwell paused for breath, and
the professor took advantage of the lull
to say:
There is some gross misunderstood
ing here. You invited us to eat Thanks
giving dinner with you, and here we
are. But as for me, did not come tc
be insulted.'
"You are correct in saving that in.
vited you to come on Thanksgiving day.
Then why, may ask, didn't you come
on Thanksgiving day.
why" responded the professor. in q
dazed way, "this is Thanksgiving day
''Certainly it is" chorused the doctor
and the editor, and the musician; this
is Thursday, Nov. &C."
mo one questions that" cried Mr.
Wardweil, with bitter irony, land to-
morrow is Friday, the 27th, and have
excellent reason to believe that the fol
: lowing day will be Saturday, the 2Sth-
in fact, shouldn't be surprised if Sun
day turned out to be the Goth. But how
do you make out that this is Thanks
giving day? Here is The Gazette, will
the governors proclamation in cold type
and it reads NOV. 90 Does the govern
or's proclamation count for anything
or is it merely vain CEREMONIAL
empty formality:"
Before any one could speak hollow
groan was heard. 1t came in all it
intensity from the lips of the editor O
The Gazette. He was reclining upon
lounge, breathing with difficulty. Tn
doctor rushed to his rescue with cas-
of surgical instruments, but the edito
waved him away and moaned:
ooh, what a misfortune! A malisol
upon that bilious, blear eyed foreman
, of mine! To think that all this shoul'
come of allowing him to read a proof
Mr.. Wardwell, and all of you" he said
rising to his feet, 1--WE are the victims o
a scrawny printer whom l intruste'
5 with the governors proclamation AM
the reading of the proof. He placed tn
figures go where '26' should have been
Mr.. Wardwell made all the prepare
lions on the Goth, and we, who probabl
Y never read the proclamation, arrange
to visit him on the 26th. can only sa
that as the editor of The Gazette l will
discharge the printer without a recon
mendation, and that as man who ha