Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1892-10-19

Gus cries Tor a nozzle. None, however,
appeared, and alter ten minutes oil
piteous appeals TO some invisible ousVo,
dian OF nozEles the six dropped the end
OF the hose in the mud and made pee
line for the nearest saloon. In those
days about the only line OF business
whose stock in trade escaped
total loss IN conhagration was the sa-
loon. Cotton presses might burn stores
might be Quilted, but the saloon gene.
rally was saved. Perhaps the fact that
no fireman attending fire was ever
charged ANYTHING for his drinks at a
near by saloon may have had something
TO do with the case. In ten minutes
more the six men emerged from the sa-
loon, each man smoking a big cigar
and one man bearingia nozzle. / be-
lieve 1t used TO be customary for the sa-
looms in New Orleans to carry o stock
OF assorted MOBILES. Slowly, and with
deliberation the nozzle was screwed on
the hose. Two men then struck an
attitude. cone of them them
placed his hand on the
others right shoulder, and his
fellow placed his right hand on his
mates left shoulder, and with their four
hands held Of the nozzle between them,
The New Orleans volunteer fireman
was nothing, II not picturesque. SO
they stood like statues waiting for the
water 70 come. But did itY The air
grew dense aud blue with the benedic-
tions. Those six men leaped on the
engine TO which It was supposed the
hose was attached, but TO no purpose;
the water did not flow. One OF our
party suggested that we walk to the
next street and see what was the
trouble with the engine. We did so.
The mystery was solved. AT the other
end Of the hose, around the corner OF
the block, stood half dozen other men,
yelling for water. They had attached
n nozzle to either end OF the hose, and
the engine wasn't In 1t.
-
Almost every reader is familiar with
Dickens creation OF "Tite Barnacle,"
the embodiment OF governmental red
tape, whose chief aim Of official life was;
"How not to do 1t, you know
l have been reading the REPORT OF
the Select Committee OF the Senate, to
Examine the Methods of Conducting
Business in the Executive Depart
ultuLs, vi WHICH MT ANthEtll VI Mis-
souri, was chairman.
The committee gave sample OF the
methods. II appears that on December
Ia Captain Leach Of the engineer corps,
who was stationed at Memphis, wrote to
his superior, Gen. Casey, at Washing
ton for permission to eSpend S25 in
employing pilot for a government
boat from Quincy, ILL.,, to St,Louis. This
letter was received by the Office messen-
ger, at, Washington, then handed
to the clerk OF the engineers Office,
who looked at 1t and forwarded to the
mail clerk, who opened the envelope
and re-forwarded II to the chief clerk,
who read the letter and forwarded IL to
Col. Casey. That dignitary forwa rded
1t to Maj. Post, The major read it
and sent II to the chief Of the division
who passed 1t to q secondary chief who
in turn sent It to the second division.
Here it was recorded and then return
ed on II winding way back
to the chief clerk. Action now had 10
be had. The chief clerk referred 1t 10
the civil engineer who wrote In pencil
an Endorsement which had to be copied
in number of books aud returned TO
the civil engineer IL was then for
warded to the chief clerk and by him
sent through all the intervening official
hands to the chief engineer who signed
tho endorsement and returned it
through the usual channels to the
chief clerk, who finally sent it
TO the secretary OF war for approval
From the last department the letter
found its way back to the engineers
Office again through the tornous
channel Of official method, and ON De-
cenber 81, seventeen days after IL was
written, 1t reached Capt. Leach, CON
ferring the authority asked for. This
letter had passed through ninety-four
hands, most Of the officials being high
salaried officers, receiving from 1920
to $4,000 per annum. The official en-
tries in office books, briehng. etc,
amounted TO over 5000 words, and the
cost OF all this red tape, Including sal
aries, was not less than $1,000 dollars. to
say nothing Of the expense occasioned
by the delay. The select committee
put It mildly when they said in its re-
port: with all due Difference. 1t does
seem that a much simpler system could
be devised, equally accurate and CON
sumo less time, labor and EXPENSE