Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1892-07-14
PiTH AND POINT.

The love of money never makes
anybody generous--Ram's Horn
The heart is that part of you which
leads You into scrapes from which Your
head has TO extricate you--Atehisor
Globe
u don't suppose" said the teacher.
that any little boy here has ever seen
a whale?- No. sir came the an
swer; but I've felt ONE
1t makes no difference how wen a
man does now, century hence some
man VIII rise up and prove his success
We're errors-Atchison Globe
oh dear sighed Henry. whose
Clothes are all made of his papa-s old
ones 'Papa's had his mustaehe
shaved OFF an I suppose I've got 10
wear ii now.---Tit-Bits- -=
-Nisitor-'.Does the tailless ape show
any more intelligence than the other
apesT Keeper-..Wen. he seems TO
be more interested than the Others when
people are talking politics ". Y. Her
aid
What makes the milk so warrne,
said Betty to the milkman when he
brought the pail to the door one morn
lng--Please. mum. the pump-handle-s
broke and missus took the water from
the biler---Drake's Magazine
--.Willie-s mother had been reading
aloud the poem We Are Seven and
after some reflection he said: Mamma,
its pity there weren't two more of
them ''Why?- Because then they
could have organized baseball team !"
Washington Star.
First Student---How did you get
on in your examinationr- Second Stu
dent-'-Badly: And TO add insult to
injury. one OF the professors was hard
of hearing 50 that had 10 repeat in a
very loud tone everything I did not
know --Fliegende Batter
-He.'I thought the bride and
groom were going TO start of on their
wedding trip. instead of waiting
She-''Thev were But she had to
change her wedding dress for a travel
ing gown and they didn't get started
until the next day.~-Cloak Review.
business Before Pleasure. -Dauch-
ter ION q shopping tourl---Why. moth
er. you are not going 70 buy that are
YOU? We have only just started out
Mother---True- daughter. but You
must remember purchases first and
shopping afterward. Cloak Review.
Is Smithins a smart lawyer
"Very- Man went 10 him with case
involving one hundred and fifty dol
lars Said ne was willing TO spend
fifteen hundred dollars TO get 1t back
Snithins made him out bill right of
for one thousand three hundred and
fifty dollars brooklyn Life
-Passer-'-Ah, good morning. Pat
How has your father been since saw
you last?' Pat-'.Niver change. sor.
He's lo-onberin' around wild the same
ovid complaint he's had these foive
years" Passer-'.Does the doctor give
him any hope9- Pat-'-No. sor. An
be jabers- Oh behave that's about the
only thing he hasn't given im--Bos-
ton Courier.
Mrs P-ye-"Dear me. Mrs Blunt.
how i II You continue TO hold your age
SO well? l declare you look as young
as you did twenty years ago" Mrs
Blunt don't knew. unless il is that
escape great deal of care by attend
ing 70 aobriv-s business hut nv own"
Mrs Prye---Yes. that may be II: but
poor thing. you can't find much pleas
u-e IN living. can vou?''-Boston Tran
script
Times have changed began Qua
simodo. thouChtfully: times have
changed of course" said Yoricl1-
But what makes you specially refer 10
it, In former times said Quasimodo.
man ate the cream Well. and
now?- Why ROW they cren-ate the
man There was an awful pause and
then Yorick walked OF and broke II
gently 10 Top that he vas afraid poor
Quasinodo was breaking up fast
brakes Magazine
Appearances Against Hin--Chief
OF Police---I have heard no previous
complaints against Officer Gray. This
i the first intimation ! have had that
he has failed IN any of his duties In
spector-.-I didn't say he was shirking-
said he didn't exactly seem 10 catch
OH to hi business somehow In what
wav?- Well he's been on the beat
weeks now. and the fellows at the cor
uer fruit-stands say he hasn't swiped a
banana nor lifted ever a peanut in all
that time and the boys have begun to
guy him you know.--Chicago Tribune