Asheville daily citizen., 1892-07-26

A WEEK"
either been shot or run out of town within
few hours after the paper came out.
Our people are rather queer about certain
things. and a journalist must know their
characteristics before he can please them.
p. S.-We stop the press after having
worked off GOO copies to announce that our
sporting editor has concluded to seek a
different climate. He was somewhat as
sisted in this resolution by Dan Skinner
Jim Bebee, Abe Hastings and others whom
he characterized as lone horse sports who
had never seen a genuine dog fight" He
was a mile ahead and gaining at every
jump when they dropped the pursuit.
Sporting News" will probably not appear
next week.
AN UNFoRTUNATEO EOCCURRENCE.-Fr
last stranger arrived here from Chicago
with view Of opening an undertaking es-
tablishment. Unfortunately for him he
went prowling about by himself and had
nothing to say to any one. He came into
THE KICKER Office about o'clock Satur-
day afternoon, and as he entered the door
we thought we recognized him as Bill
Wheatley. of Clinch valley, who sent us
word two weeks ago that he intended to
bury us in our own private graveyard.
This recognition was strengthened by the
fact Of his reaching behind him as II for
his gun. AS subsequently explained, he
was after his handkerchief which In this
town is always kept In a mans hat. We
always get the drop il possible, and we got
1t OH this man and bored him through the
shoulder. When he came to give his name
as Henry Briggs, and state his mission and
prove his identity by numerous papers, no
one could have felt more sympathy than
we did. We agreed to pay the surgeons
bill and give him forty dollars besides, and
we are now paying his board Mt the hotel
for the week as we'll Mr.. Briggs has no
hard feelings toward us. On the contrary,
he realizes his mistake in not posting up
on the rules and regulations of the town,
and freely admits that he has no claim on
us whatever
He FOUND OUT.-Jlm Whitbeck, alder
man from the First ward has been aching
for some time to find out If his honor the
mayor (who is ourself) was well up in
"Cushing's Manual" as president of the
common council. Last Friday evening he
learned all he wanted to know. He was
indulging in speech when there was no
question before the house and was politely
cautioned. He refused to heed the caution
and planted himself on the broad platform
Of American liberty. His honor stepped
down and took Jim and his platform and
threw both down stairs In heap. The
platform didn't suffer any to speak of, but
| tho ALBANIAN from, tha Tirct haH hta
shoulder dislocated and the funny bone of
his elbow cracked in two places. II there
is any other member of the council who
doubts the mayors thorough familiarity
with Gushing" he is free to experiment at
any meeting.
No RIOT ACT.-His honor the mayor
(who Is oursel) wishes us to announce the
fact that his office has never been supplied
with copy of the riot act, and that in
case of mob gathering to do mischief nc
act can be read. 1t is we'll for our citizens
to remember this matter. There will be
no waiting on the part Of his honor, as is
usually the case, but within fifteen seconds
after the mob has been commanded tn dis
perse he will be right down on The ground
with both feet and moving right and left.
We sincerely hope there may never be oc.
casion for acting in an official capacity,
but 1t Is wise for our citizens to post up OH
laws and ordinances and be ready to act
in accordance. His honor was not acting
officially when he dispersed Jim Redfoot
Saturday evening, but rs editor of THE
KICKER and an eminent citizen Of the
town.